| PAGE 2 - THE NEW ZORK TIMES - FALL 1984 | |
| (c) 1984 Infocom, Inc. | |
| THEY'RE NEVER SATISFIED | |
| _by Dave Lebling_ | |
| I had my first encounter with a professional play-tester two years | |
| ago, when I was writing _Starcross_. As I worked, every so often my | |
| concentration would be broken by a horrible cackling laugh from a few | |
| doors down the hall. Jerry had found another bug. | |
| Infocom's Quality Control Department (informally, play-testers) makes | |
| sure our stories are bug-free before they get published. From the | |
| first, horrifically buggy version "thrown in the swimming pool," to | |
| the final, perfect (hah!) version that we ship, the play-testers pound | |
| away, searching for flaws. | |
| It starts out very simply. Let's take _Suspect_ for a victim ... | |
| oops, I mean an example. When a game first enters testing, it's a | |
| delicate thing, easily upset: | |
| > BARTENDER, GIVE ME A DRINK | |
| "Sorry, I've been hired to mix drinks and that's all." | |
| > DANCE WITH ALICIA | |
| Which Alicia do you mean, Alicia or the overcoat? | |
| Veronica's body is slumped behind the desk, strangled with a lariat. | |
| > TALK TO VERONICA | |
| Veronica's body is listening. | |
| Little bugs, you know? Things no one would notice. At this point the | |
| tester's job is fairly easy. The story is like a house of cards -- it | |
| looks pretty solid but the slightest touch collapses it: | |
| Media Room | |
| > ENTER | |
| **FATAL ERROR: Pushdown Overflow** | |
| Mysteries have a lot of scope for truly odd bugs, since they have so | |
| many characters running around. Throughout the testing process, I | |
| would get reports like: | |
| "Duffy is having serious problems .... " | |
| "Alicia isn't functioning too well .... " | |
| "The detective seems stuck in the North Hallway .... " | |
| _Suspect_ has thirteen characters (counting you) and a few bit | |
| players, so at times it resembled a Marx brothers movie. | |
| Testers are relentless. Once they find out they can talk to a corpse, | |
| you can confidently expect a list of all the other things that will | |
| listen to them: cars, tables, chairs, waste baskets, anything. This | |
| is sometimes called "rubbing it in." | |
| They had a particularly gleeful time with poor Veronica's body. It's | |
| not enough that she's been murdered. No, first they decide to hide | |
| the body. Then, to make things worse, they carry her around, | |
| presumably slung over the shoulder. | |
| > SHOW CORPSE TO MICHAEL | |
| Michael doesn't appear interested. | |
| Of course, Michael is only Veronica's husband; why would he be | |
| interested? After that, it was open season! Bodies everywhere: | |
| "I carried Veronica's body into the Ballroom. No one noticed." | |
| "Sergeant Duffy walked right by while I was carrying the body. | |
| He didn't notice it." | |
| "I put the body in the chair in the Library. | |
| Col. Marston came and went without seeing it." | |
| "I picked up the body right in front of the detective. " | |
| That wasn't enough: | |
| > THROW CORPSE IN FIREPLACE | |
| Veronica's body is now in the fireplace. | |
| > ATTACK CORPSE WITH CROWBAR | |
| Veronica's body jumps out of the way. | |
| Eventually, that all got sorted out: Veronica stayed safely dead, and | |
| her party guests got less blase about corpses. | |
| Producing a piece of interactive fiction is an odd combination of | |
| debugging a program and writing a story. Bug reports can concern | |
| anything from a stack overflow to a misplaced comma. There was a | |
| running battle (finally settled by Fowler's _English Usage_) over when | |
| a comma goes inside a quotation mark and when outside. By the same | |
| token, bugs can concern something as microcomputer-oriented as the | |
| stack size on the Atari implementation of the story. Some comments | |
| from testers would not be out of place in a report from an editor at a | |
| major book publisher: | |
| "Alicia is acting out of character." | |
| "Why would Michael react that way when told about the murder?" | |
| "Ostmann's motivations seem too obscure." | |
| Some comments are directly keyed off of programming bugs that would | |
| make a BASIC programmer blush: | |
| "Game prints garbage when Duffy enters room." | |
| "You can drop Veronica's pulse on the floor." | |
| There are several stages in implementing one of our stories. During | |
| the first stage, the author is so pleased that it works at all that | |
| any bug reports are welcomed. During this stage the typical bug | |
| concerns two rooms that connect in only one direction (you can go east | |
| from the first to the second but there is no way to go back). | |
| During the second stage, all of the testers and several other game | |
| authors have had a chance to play it, and the really nasty comments | |
| come in. During this stage, bugs cause serious changes in the plot, | |
| and sub-plots are added or removed. This is when "debugging" is more | |
| like writing another draft of a novel than debugging a program. The | |
| plot is hardened into its final form, and outside testers are given | |
| their first crack at the story. | |
| Finally comes the stage in which every bug is seen by the author as an | |
| imposition. I can always tell when a story is almost finished by my | |
| rising level of frustration at seeing new bugs in my mailbox. At some | |
| point, coming to the office in the morning becomes an exercise in | |
| procrastination. You see, at Infocom there is a hall with all the | |
| mailboxes in it, and you have to walk past the mailboxes to get to the | |
| coffee machine. The question becomes, "How much do I really want my | |
| first cup of coffee this morning?" You can always avert your eyes as | |
| you walk by the mailboxes, but that's almost too obvious. Better is | |
| to make a casual appraisal as you walk by. "Hmm. Looks like a fairly | |
| small stack this morning...." Then you can walk to the coffee machine | |
| with a clear conscience. Even a cup of yummy coffee won't improve | |
| things when you see "page 1 of 12" on the first bug report form. | |
| Amazingly enough, it all works out in the end. Sometimes a full-page | |
| bug report will turn out to be caused by a simple little error, and | |
| you can check off three or four subsidiary bugs with one stroke. | |
| Sometimes a simple little thing you've glossed over three times as | |
| unimportant will be re-reported, and you realize it's more like the | |
| last six inches of a dragon's tail. | |
| Best of all are the final few days before a story is shipped, when the | |
| volume of bugs drops to almost zero, and you realize that even the | |
| testers are reaching for things to report. Then, at long last you | |
| look in your mailbox and nothing's there! You say hello to the | |
| testers in the halls without terror, and there's nothing whatsoever to | |
| worry about. | |
| Until the next game! | |
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