 This system worked prettywell in the caveman days. After a cave person saw a saber-toothed tiger, his or her adrenal glands would produce cortisol,which would raise sugar levels to give the muscles energy forfight or flight. They would also release adrenaline to giveadditional energy, or to stimulate fat cells to release fat for evenmore energy. However, this system is set up for a stress reactionlasting about ten minutes.
In this day and age, people are subjected to stress
continuously—at work, while driving, meeting deadlines,and so on. In these situations, the adrenal glands may becontinuously putting out cortisol, which is continuouslyraising sugar levels, which is continuously raising insulinlevels, which is continuously creating fat.
Whether or not cortisol is a major source of weight
problems in people is not entirely clear. Suffice to say, however,that high cortisol levels do not promote weight loss.173 PERMANENT WEIGHT LOSS  Stress is never good for the body. The more in balance you
are with your hormones and your environment, the healthieryou will be. Look for areas in your life that are giving younegative energy and eliminate them. Eliminate timeconstraints, if you can. Say “no” to road rage.
One last point: exercise is a great way to reduce excess
adrenal hormones and reduce stress, and maybe help withweight loss.
THE MAINTENANCE PHASE
In my practice, when patients reach their goal weight, they
enter the second phase of the program, which is geared towardpreventing fat from returning to the body. As long as a personlimits the amount of carbohydrates to the amount of sugarrequired by muscle tissue, excess carbohydrates will not bestored as fat. In this regard, the amount of exercise a personengages in is the main determinant of weight maintenance. Thebody’s priority is to replace any sugar that the muscles haveburned with sugar—it’s a survival thing. The more sugar(as glycogen) the muscles have burned, the more thecarbohydrates you eat will go into muscle rather than beingstored as fat.
If people do not want to exercise, they have to be more
aware of their carbohydrate intake. People who produce excessinsulin because of Syndrome X may require medication (e.g.,metformin, also known as Glucophage) or supplements (e.g.,chromium, alpha lipoic acid) to lower their insulin levels.
However, getting one’s hormones back into balance and
eliminating fat-creating medications are perhaps the key tosuccessful weight maintenance. Here the most importanthormones are progesterone and thyroid.174 THE MIRACLE OF BIO-IDENTICAL HORMONES  THE MISSING FACTORS
As stated earlier, statistically, 98 percent of people gain weight
back after losing it, regardless of the approach they have used.This includes Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Lindora, Atkins,and gastric bypass. As soon as people get off any program theyhave followed, the weight tends to come back on. The reason isthat the underlying mechanism that created the fat in the firstplace is still there, whether it be an over-production of insulin,an under-active thyroid, producing too much estrogen, ortaking lipogenic (fat-creating) drugs.
If these factors are not addressed, your body will always be
creating too much fat. Throughout this book I have intro-duced you to a number of my patients who had a lifetime offrustration until these factors were taken into consideration.
A SIMPLE PHILOSOPHY
My method for successful, permanent weight loss is simple. It’s
based on principles that have been around for a long time andhave worked for many people. But it will not work unless thebody’s hormones are in balance.
Since hormone levels decrease as we age, the older you are,
the likelier it is that your hormones may need to be adjusted.For reasons discussed throughout this book, finding a doctorwho can balance your hormones successfully, using the naturalhormones that involve the fewest side effects, may not be easy.A compounding pharmacy may be able to direct you to aphysician who works with bio-identical hormones. And hope-fully this book will provide enough information, hints, andexamples to help you in your quest for proper treatment.175 PERMANENT WEIGHT LOSS  HUMAN GROWTH
HORMONE—HGH
chapter TWENTY– ONE
One hormone I have not mentioned until now is human
growth hormone (HGH). It regulates how the body grows,repairs itself, and burns fat.
Interest in HGH replacement therapy has been on the
increase ever since the publication of an article in the
New
England Journal of Medicine that showed HGH’s rejuvenating
potential. Daniel Rudman, M.D. documented the effects ofsix months of HGH supplementation upon 21 men aged 61to 81 years. The results were remarkable. Every area measuredshowed improvement—their body fat decreased, their leanbody mass increased, their skin became thicker, and their bonedensity increased. He said it was equivalent to undoing 10 to20 years of aging.
Now dubbed the “fountain of youth hormone,” HGH has
become a star feature at anti-aging clinics around the country.T oday more people are being exposed to HGH than everbefore, and it may possibly be of benefit when used correctly.
177QUESTIONS ARISE
However, as with any hormone, you must weigh the benefits
against the risks. The primary role of HGH after age 30 is tohelp the body repair tissues—the growth stage is over. Givinghigh dosages of a hormone that can promote the growth oftissue may lead to unwanted side effects: acromegaly(enlargement of bony tissue), enlargement of the heart leadingto congestive heart failure, carpal tunnel syndrome, andarthritis. As people get older, there is always the possibility ofcancerous tissue sitting somewhere in their bodies. HGH couldstimulate the growth of that tissue. (Note that when HGH isused in children to stimulate normal levels of growth it doublestheir chances of getting childhood leukemia.) HGH is notrecommended for people with diabetes.
HGH is the main hormone put out by the pituitary gland.
Taking inappropriately high doses, especially over prolongedperiods, can suppress the pituitary gland. It’s the master gland,which can affect all other endocrine glands in the body, so thismay create even more problems.
However, there are ways of elevating HGH levels without
giving HGH directly. This can be done through manipulatingother hormones or by giving supplements called secretoguesthat stimulate HGH production. This is a much less expensiveapproach than the usual high price tag charged by many anti-aging clinics for HGH injections.
OTHER CONCERNS
I have a lot of respect for nature. It seems to know what it’s
doing. When using hormones to alter the natural pattern, onemust always consider the logic of it. Giving high dosages of178 THE MIRACLE OF BIO-IDENTICAL HORMONES  HGH at a time when the body no longer needs high levels may
be problematic.
The same is true with estrogen replacement. A woman
never stops making estrogen. It is produced, for instance, in fatcells, in skin cells, and in the adrenal glands. The high levelscustomarily given in hormone replacement therapy are neededonly when a woman is trying to get pregnant—not a likelyscenario in menopausal women. This is another situation inwhich the risks may far outweigh the apparent benefits.
One last thought to keep in mind: A major reason for the
popularity of HGH is the high level of interest in anti-agingremedies. HGH stimulates the production of IGF-1 (insulin-like growth factor-1) in the liver. In fact, levels of IGF-1 areused to monitor HGH production. Recent studies indicate,however, that IGF-1 may actually speed up the aging process;it is considered the number two hormone to do this. Insulin,by the way, is number one.
Another concern is that high levels of IGF-1 are found in
the cancerous tissues of people with breast and prostate cancer.My feeling is that the jury is still out when it comes to usingHGH. It may possibly be administered safely with carefullycontrolled dosages and monitoring for untoward effects:edema, tingling in the fingertips, arthritic pains, and unwantedgrowths. However, the bottom line regarding the use of HGHis that it may be illegal to prescribe it. Congress passed a lawyears ago addressing the off-label use of HGH that declaresit illegal to use HGH as an anti-aging drug or for otherunsupported claims.179 HUMAN GR OWTH HORMONE—HGH  DOCTORS DON’T ALWAYS
LISTEN—SHIRLEY M. ’S STORY
chapter TWENTY–TWO
Before she came to see me at age 50, Shirley had suffered from
asthma and severe headaches for her entire adult life. Doctorswere unable to help her with either problem, or with theweight gain that started in her 20s.
As I helped Shirley master her weight I was able to remove
the cause of her asthma and headaches, too. I only wish shehad come to me earlier. She would have been spared ahysterectomy and the removal of her gallbladder. Medicalstudies have shown that 90 percent of hysterectomies may notbe necessary.
Shirley’s story should strike a familiar note with patients
who, when seeking help from the conventional medicalcommunity, feel they are being ignored and misunderstood.
For the first 21 years of my life I was healthy and skinny as a
rail. I weighed around 103 pounds. Although I developedasthma as a teenager, other than that,


 dedication to inner
growth. What this implies to many people is work. Romance is recess,
relationship is school. Becaus e it is hard, marriage often dwindles in
passion; it brings conflict, disap pointment, and pain. It can result in total
mistrust and betrayal if it ends badly. Yet this whole story is an ego story.
The only real difference between romance and relationship, spiritually
speaking, has to do with surrend er. Surrender comes naturally to two people
when they first fall in love. Being lost in the deliciousness of romance, they
have no time to be selfish, no will to distrust. Marriage doesn’ t proceed on
that basis. The mask of fantasy is stripped away once two people have
engaged in intimacy over a period of time, and the grace period of
selflessness is up. The ego returns with a vengeance, insistin g on “my”
needs; therefore, surrender has to become a conscious goal—it is no longer
a given. This isn’t to say that surrender is hard work; it is conscious  work.
As such it can bring the same joy and delight as falling in love, the same
sense of play that releases new lovers from their ego burdens.
Making your r elationship as extraor dinary as falling in love is the gr eat challenge of this stage.
In one of his poems D. H. Lawrence speaks of passionate romantic love
as being like a flower while marriage is like a hard gem that endures.
That is the crystal of peace, the slow hard jewel of trust, the sapphire of fidelity.
The gem of mutual peace emer ging from the wild chaos of love.Why should you be committed to someone else? Peace, fidelity, trust—
the key words are given in these  few verses. The most profoun d reason for
committing to another person is also the simplest: marriage is sacred. When
they are fully committed in love, the husband sees God in the wife and the
wife sees God in the husband. On this basis they are able to surrender to
each other, because they are only surrendering to the spirit in everything.
These words sound almost shocking in a modern context. Surrender is a
remote possibility in relationsh ips today. Most marriages struggle just to
establish basic personal trust. Psychologists hold that the first ten years of a
marriage are spent resolving differences of thought, habit, ways of doing
things, likes and dislikes. “I want orange juice in the morning, but you
bought apple juice.” “I prefer the right side of the bed, but so do you.”
“This color isn’t right for the living room, even if you do like it.” The
magnificence of a sacred relationship crashes on the rocks of trivial ego
conflicts.
In all this chaos the spiritual meaning of marriage has become as diffuse
as the meaning  of love itself. Is commitment worth it anymore? Can
surrender be possible amid so much battering conflict? If you set aside the
present social context for a moment, a sacred marriage, in which both
partners surrend er to each other as expressions of spirit, is natural. It is the
ripening of love’ s fruit after the blossoming of romance.
Romance is a temporary state of the sacr ed. Relationship makes it permanent.
The ancient Indian word Dharma  describe s much more completely what
I mean by “sacr ed.” The noun dharma  comes from the root verb meaning
“to sustain or uphold,” and like many words in Sanskrit, this one has layers
of meaning. Whatever upholds a person’ s life and keeps it on a proper
course is considered dharmic. It is dharmic to tell the truth and not to lie, or
to be faithful in marriage instead of straying.
Dharma  is also translated as “law” or “righteousness.” In India today
someone who follows the family tradition of work, worship, and social
behavior is also said to be in his dharma. Modern Western society is not
dharmic in any of these ways, since our children feel free to choose very
different occupa tions from their parents’, along with new codes of behaviorand new places to live. In both East and West the rootedness of a dharmic
society has been undermined in this century.
However, dharma is more than a social convention; it is a living force
that can bring you through the many threats and challenges of life. Your ego
does not believe  this, for it cannot find dharma; ego is not guided by love,
and dharma is intimately tied to love. In the West the closest concept to
dharma is grace, the loving presence of God that keeps humanity under
divine protection. When Jesus spoke of God seeing the fall of a sparrow, he
was referring to dharma. In Chin a the same concept emer ged as Tao, or “the
Way,” which was seen as an invisible but real power that organizes all life.
Being in tune with “the W ay” is the same as living within dharma.
Every spiritual tradition has taught that success in life depends upon
finding the Way and ignoring the distractions of external things. Your ego,
however, insists that your survival depends upon paying total attention to
the outer world. Its primary tactics—vigilance and defensiveness—are the
very antithesis of surrender.
Surrender in r elationship is valuable only as surr ender to spirit.
Marriage based  on differences can never lead to spiritual surrender.
Therefore you need to reframe your perception, training yoursel f to find the
blessing that lurks within conflic t. You are blessed when you can find unity
with your beloved. The spiritual purpose of differences is to lead you out of
separation.
Your ego causes you to believe  that separation is necessary. You push
your beloved away whenever you make statements such as these:
I don’ t care what you think. I don’ t care what you want.
This is how I’m going to do it. Y ou can do it your way if you want.
I’m responsible for my own needs. Y ou should be, too.
If you do that, I’m going to do this.
These may seem like brutal, confrontational statements, but I’ve simply
stripped ordinary  ego talk to its bare essentials. Of course we’ve all learned
to be polite about our ego needs, unless we’re pressed to the wall. It isn’t
possible to cover up the way ego creates separation, however, as it asserts
“I” over “you.”Being in dharma heals separation by making “us” a reality, not as a unit
of two but as unified spirit. You are acting in dharma whenever you allow
rather than oppose. Allowing results in statements such as these:
Is there something you need? How can I help?
I see what’ s going on with you. I want you to know it’ s okay.
Go ahead. I’ll be here.
I know exactly what you mean.
You’re right.
When you come  from love, these are not just verbal formulas. Unity makes
another person’ s viewpoint completely clear; you understand someone who
is outside yourself. What make s this possible is the realizatio n that your
beloved isn’t outside yourself— she is only outside your ego, he is only
expressing needs that are not the core of himself. At the core you and your
beloved are not separate, since needs, likes and dislikes, desire s, and lack
are all outside the core.
Dharma is a vision of spiritual equality. When you per ceive life thr ough this vision, separation
ends.
Following your dharma in the deepest sense means not merely adhering
to rules of righteous conduct or obeying the laws set down by society—
there is no fixed  formula for finding the Way. Being in dharma signifies that
you have set a spiritual goal for yourself and are dedicated to reaching it. As
relationships today struggle to survive, they need a new reason to justify
themselves, which makes this broader meaning of dharma essential.
SURRENDER AND  “THE WAY”
When you first think of the word surrender, you probably associate it with
defeat. This is a natural association from the ego’s viewpoint. In any
situation where struggle dominates, no one is acting out of love, and it’s
inevitable that only one side can win. You only have to remember the last
argument you were in to realize  that arriving at a place of mutu al love was
the furthest thing from your mind.But there is another meaning to surrender, as you can remember from the
experience of falling in love. Falling in love allows you to surrender to what
you deeply desire, not what someone else is trying to impose. Imagine a
trivial incident: your mate asks you to help clean up the house when you are
watching TV or reading a book  you don’t want to break away from. How
do you frame this situation?
Ego frames it as “You want me to do something I prefer not to do. I’ll
decide whether to give in or not.” Spirit frames it as “I see that you need
me.” Notice that the outcome is not what is at stake. Whether or not ego
gives in, it is still framing the incident as a conflict. Its main concern is to
keep power on its side, therefore it must win the conflict. Winning means
either saying no and getting away with it or saying yes and feeling
magnanimous. The aim of both outcomes is to avoid defeat.
Spirit has no such ulterior motives. It acknowledges the other person’ s


 corrective. She proceeded immediately to supplement
her deficiencies in her speech by enrolling in a course in pub lic
 181  speaking at City College. She wrote and thanked the writer of  the note
for her  interest, ex-pressing appreciation for her conclusi ons and
findings,  which enabled the teacher to correct the matter at once.
• How to be compassionate
Suppose none of the things mentioned in the letter had been true o f
the teacher. The latter would have realized that her class material had
upset the prejudices, superstitions, or narrow sectarian beli efs of the
writer of the note, and that a psychologically ill person wa s simply
pouring forth her resentment because a psychological boil had be en
hurt.
To understand this fact is to be compassionate. The next logical  step
would be to pray for the other person’s peace, har-mony, and
understanding.
You cannot be hurt when you know that you are master of your
thoughts, reactions, and emotions. Emotions follow thoughts, and you
have the power to reject all thoughts, which may disturb or upset you.
• Left at the altar
Some years ago I visited a church to perform a marriage c eremony.
The young man did not appear, and at the end of two hours, the bride-
to-be shed a few tears, and then said to me, “I prayed for di vine
guidance. This might be the answer for He never faileth.”
That was her reaction—faith in God and all things good. She had no
bitterness in her heart because as she said, “It must not have been right
action because my prayer was for right action for both of u s.”
Someone else having a similar experience would have gone into a
tantrum, have had an emotional fit, re-quired sedation, and perhaps
needed hospitalization.
Tune in with the infinite intelligence within your subcon-scious
depths, trusting the answer in the same way that you trusted your
mother when she held you in her arms. This is how you can acquire
poise and mental and emotional health.
 182  • It is wrong to marry. Sex is evil and I am evil
Some time ago, I talked to a young lady aged twenty-two. She was
taught that it was a sin to dance, to play cards, to swim, and t o go out
with men. She was threatened by her mother who told her she wou ld
burn eternally in hell-fire if she disobeyed her will and her  religious
teachings.
This girl wore a black dress and black stockings. She wore no rouge,
lipstick, or any form of make-up because her mother said t hat these
things were sinful. Her mother told her that all men were evil, and that
sex was of the devil and simply diabolic debauchery.
This girl had to learn how to forgive herself, as she was f ull of guilt.
To forgive means to give for. She had to give up all these f alse beliefs
for the truths of life and a new estimate of herself. Whe n she went out
with young men in the office where she worked, she had a deep sense
of guilt and thought that God would punish her. Several eligible young
men proposed to her, but she said to me, “It is wrong to marry. S ex is
evil and I am evil.” This was her conscience or early c onditioning
speaking.
She came to me once weekly for about ten weeks, and I taught her
the workings of the conscious and subconscious mind as set forth i n
this book.
This young girl gradually came to see that she had been complet ely
brainwashed, mesmerized, and conditioned by an ignorant,
superstitious, bigoted, and frus-trated mother. She broke awa y
completely from her family and started to live a wonderful life.
At my suggestion she dressed up and had her hair at-tended to. She
took lessons in dancing from a man, and she also took driving lessons.
She learned to swim, play cards, and had a number of dates. She
began to love He. She prayed for a divine companion by claimi ng that
Infinite Spirit would at-tract to her a man who harmonized with he r
thoroughly. Eventu-ally this came to pass. As she left my off ice one
evening, there was a man waiting to see me and I casually i ntroduced
them. They are now married and harmonize with each other perfectly.
 183  • Forgiveness is necessary for healing
And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any ...
MARK 11:25.
Forgiveness of others is essential to mental peace and radian t health.
You must forgive everyone who has ever hurt you if you want perfec t
health and happiness. Forgive your-self by getting your thoughts i n
harmony with divine law and order. You cannot really forgive
yourself completely until you have forgiven others first. To ref use to
forgive yourself is nothing more or less than spiritual pride  or
ignorance.
In the psychosomatic field of medicine today, it is being consta ntly
stressed that resentment, condemnation of others, re-morse, and
hostility are behind a host of maladies ranging from arthritis t o cardiac
disease. They point out that these sick people, who were hur t,
mistreated, deceived, or injured, were full of resentment and hatred for
those who hurt them. This caused inflamed and festering wounds in
their subconscious minds. There is only one remedy. They have to cut
out and discard their hurts, and the one and only sure way is by
forgiveness.
• Forgiveness is love in action
The essential ingredient in the art of forgiveness is the willing ness to
forgive. If you sincerely desire to forgive the other, you are f ifty-one
percent over the hurdle. I feel sure you know that to forgive the  other
does not necessarily mean that you like him or want to associat e with
him. You cannot be compelled to like someone, neither can a
government legislate good will, love, peace, or tolerance. It is quite
impossible to like people because someone in Washington iss ues an
edict to that effect. We can, however, love people without liking them.
The Bible says, Love ye one another. This, anyone can do who
really wants to do it. Love means that you wish for the other he alth,
happiness, peace, joy, and all the blessings of life. There i s only one
prerequisite, and that is sincerity. You are not being magnani mous
when you forgive, you are really being selfish, because what you wish
 184  for the other, you are actually wishing for yourself. The reason i s that
you are thinking it and you are feeling it. As you think and fee l, so are
you. Could anything be simpler than that?
• Technique of forgiveness
The following is a simple method, which works wonders in your life
as you practice it: Quiet your mind, relax, and let go. Think o f God
and His love for you, and then affirm, “I fully and freely for give
(mention the name of the offender); I release him mentally and
spiritually. I completely forgive everything connected wit h the matter
in question. I am free, and he/she is free. It is a marvelous fe eling. It is
my day of general amnesty. I release anybody and everybody who has
ever hurt me, and I wish for each and everyone health, happiness,
peace, and all the blessings of life. I do this freely, joyous ly, and
lovingly, and whenever I think of the person or persons who hurt me, I
say, ‘I have released you, and all the blessings of life are yours.’ I am
free and you are free. It is wonderful!”
The great secret of true forgiveness is that once you have  forgiven
the person, it is unnecessary to repeat the prayer. Whenever the person
comes to your mind, or the particular hurt happens to enter your mind,
wish the delinquent well, and say, “Peace be to you.” Do this as  often
as the thought enters your mind. You will find that after a few d ays
the thought of the person or experience will return less and  less often,
until it fades into nothingness.
•The acid test for forgiveness
There is an acid test for gold. There is also an acid test for
forgiveness. If I should tell you something wonderful about someone
who has wronged you, cheated you, or defrauded you, and you sizzled
at hearing the good news about this person, the roots of hatred woul d
still be in your subconscious mind, playing havoc with you.
Let us suppose you had a painful abscess on your jaw a year ag o,
and you told me about it. I would casually ask you if you had any pai n
now. You would automatically say, “Of course not, I have a memory
of it but no pain.” That is the whole story. You may have a memory  of
 185  the incident but no sting or hurt any more. This is the acid test, and
you must meet it psychologically and spiritually, otherwise,  you are
simply deceiving yourself and not practicing the true art o


 toxic, but I had the chance to see this while on the Ultimate Cleansing
Program myself. In this process, you use an intestinal bulk. This bulk is mixed with clay water and is taken five times a day
followed by a second drink of natural apple cider vin egar and honey. Hot water carries food or any material to the colon, while
cold water and food stop at the stomach. This is why we do not believe in cold food or drinks after meals; this stops digesti ve
processes at the stomach level. We find that hot drin ks will get to the bowel and start things moving along.

The instructions for the 7 -day cleansing pro -gram are more detailed in the next section. Now there are ways of breaking down the
mucous membrane. How did you happen to get this heavy mucous membrane? You were not digesting your foods properly. In
those who don’t digest food properly, the pancreas isn’t working well, so they can get relief by taking Pancreatic tablets. M ost of
this heavy mucus, I believe, has been developed by undigested foods. By put ting this excess amount of pancreatic material in the
body, you can readjust what the pancreas should have done in the past when the body was overloaded with starches, sugar, etc.  We
are now going to readjust this so it will tear down the mucus that holds all of these materials. I believe the digestant will also help
break off the mucous lining from the bowel wall. I believe this because I’ve been on several elimination programs and this on e rids
the bowel of the mucous lining. When the liver hasn’t been wo rking too well and we are a wee bit on the slow side in moving the
bowel, it may help to take beet tablets. Further, we may want to take Spring Green or Green Life tablets. No food will be eat en
during this time. You have only a small amount of juice mixed  with the bulk and the rest is water. The vitamins and minerals in
tablet form are all food, so you won’t feel hungry. You won’t lose much weight on your first cleansing elimination.

There are more vitamins and minerals to take and I think one to be consi dered is niacin. This pushes blood to all the different
organs in the body. Niacin will give you a hot flash and a flush; we want the blood to get to the bowel wall at this time. Th ere is a
product called Calphonite which is colloidal calcium and is taken twice a day, morning and night. At night, cod liver oil is added
which will control and fix calcium in the body. Calphonite is a refined lime product with a very high absorption rate which
promotes the dissolving of precipitated calcium settled in the join ts.

THE CLEANSING PROGRAM
I would like to discuss one of the most important aspects of the bowel management program, the one most neglected and the one
no one wants to talk about. I think we are all in a bowel mess because we grew up like Topsy, and now w e have to talk about it.
We have to begin to correct old errors by learning the right way to take care of the bowel. Cleansing, detoxification and
elimination are words we all hear. but they are seldom used in connection with the bowel. When I look over al l the programs that
were developed to take care of the bowel and all the various techniques we’ve had in bowel cleansing, I have come to the
conclusion that a real cleansing process should be one that reaches every cell in the body. In general, we can say that the blood is
only as clean as the bowel, and since the blood circulates through every organ in the body and reaches every cell in the body,
toxins in the blood due to a dirty bowel contaminate the entire body. To properly cleanse the body tissue we mu st start by a
thorough cleansing of the bowel. We have to utilize energy to rid the bowel of toxic material. We find, too, that the bowel h as
to take care of acids. Catarrh elimination through the bowel is actually part of our own body being eliminated. No w, I’ve heard the
bowel called a cesspool and I’ve heard it called the dirtiest part of the body. I point this out because the average person d oesn’t
want to talk about it; such discussion is thought to be socially unacceptable. Bowel problems should be di scussed, however,
because most people need some help. There is nothing to be ashamed of in discussing the bowel. It is merely a natural part of  the
body. Care of the bowel should be a routine part of a total health program. Bowel action is one of the end r esults of metabolism:
the elimination of broken down cells and tissue plus the fermented and putrified food wastes. Bowel action is far worse when there
is a lazy colon. The colon is made up of muscle structure that moves toxic materials along by peristalt ic motion, and if there is
flabby muscle structure throughout the body, you can be assured that the bowel is even flabbier.

“IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU EAT —IT’S WHAT YOU ABSORB THAT COUNTS”
In managing the bowel, there are ways to get good results, and first of all, we must change the diet. Unless we do this, we w ill
become “doctor shoppers.” The symptoms just stay with us because we aren’t dealing with the cause of the problem. Every organ
in the body works with every other organ. The body is a community of various organs working for the good of the whole human
being.

A short word on intestinal cultures before the story. While I was at the Battle Creek Sanitarium, Dr. DeFoe, who delivered t he
famous Dionne quintuplets in Canada, telephoned Dr. John Harvey Kellogg and said he was about to lose two of the babies
because of their poor bowel conditions. Dr. Kellogg immediately sent off an acidophilus culture, and a week later, Dr. DeFoe
called t o say the two babies were much improved. He felt that Dr. Kellogg had saved the babies’ lives with the acidophilus culture.

In discussing the many types of diets that are appropriate during the different stages of disease, we must be sensitive to wh at the se
stages represent in terms of digestive ability. For instance, we can’t immediately give a big raw salad to one who has coliti s; we
must first cleanse and give the bowel tonicity in preparation for more efficient digestion and absorption. Going through t he 7-day
elimination program will give us a head start. We must be able to absorb the nutrients that we are rebuilding our bodies with  or
those nutrients will be lost. Once absorption has been increased we take the body step by step along a graduated food regime. We
may have to use broths and light soups at first, then go on to steamed, pureed vegetables and fruits. Raw, liquefied salads c an be
given as the bowel becomes able to handle more bulk. We must move slowly but surely along the tissue cleansing and  rejuvenating
system, keeping in mind that even as it took time to pollute our bodies to the point of disease, so it will take time to reve rse the
process.

POOR ASSIMILATION LEADS TO NUTRITIONAL DEFICIENCIES
Personally, I wonder if a toxic body can even a bsorb the right chemical elements at all. If body tissue is unable to function at the
normal metabolic rate, regeneration and rebuilding would take a great deal longer than otherwise. Can digestion be good in a toxic
body? It is impossible to build healthy  tissue without effective digestion and assimilation. Nerve conduction is not as effective as it
should be when the metabolic rate is low. It is entirely possible to have good nerve flow and nerve function in the body, but  if the
body chemistry is not righ t, improvement through rejuvenation will be limited and incomplete. A complete tissue detoxification
program requires that we take care of all five elimination channels. Underactive tissue can not get rid of toxic wastes prope rly. I
want to place a special  emphasis on this. When we rid the body of toxins, we often notice a subsequent remission of some
degenerative disease stage.

CLEAN TISSUES FUNCTION BETTER
There are many therapeutic approaches to restoring or maintaining health today. However, the presen ce of toxic settlements in the
body prevents any of these methods of treatment from being completely successful. If a treatment does not work toward complet e
detoxification, the rejuvenation of tissue will not take place as it should. The complete rejuvena tion process involves the
replacement of old underactive tissue with new, clean, efficiently working tissue. This is what brings a degenerative conditi on to a
state of recession and remission. Many kinds of processes can be used to bring this about, and th is is what the doctor must be alert
for.

The natural immune system can only be built up in a clean body, a body with a minimal amount of accumulated toxic material.
The presence of significant quantities of toxic material in body tissue means that the bod y’s natural defenses have been overcome.
When health is restored through a tissue cleansing program, the immune system will also be restored as we return to a healthy  diet,
exercise, fresh air, sunshine and a positive outlook on life. Most people believe t hat tissue rebuilding depends upon a nutritious
diet, and this is basically correct.


Arogyaka amuly Sadhan - Swamutra (The Priceless Panacea for Health - Auto-urine) and that led to a firm faith in this therapy and I resolved to bring it into practice. I was then a victim of influenza and it was raging. About four-five days auto-urine treatment drove away the fever. When I returned to Momasar I was caught by typhoid.Which was driven by 21-day auto-urine regime.   The experience I gathered during these days of suffering formed the basis of my application. This invaluable and simple remedy in hundreds of cases of various ailments 122 which invariably resulted in complete cure and restoration of health and had I kept a record of these cases it would have run into useful and welcome book of reference to the public. I can vouchsafe on my experience of hundreds of cases that during their treatment there never was any untoward effect or harmful reaction as a result of this treatment.  All other medication, both indigenous and foreign has been banished from my home and members of my family are profited by this therapy.”  from Manav Mootra by R. M. Patel  ****************************** J ****************************** JAUNDICE  “This case took 10 days to clear up on a urine-fast plus tap-water. Ten days or less have usually sufficed to clear up a jaundiced condition, that is provided it has not been due to cancer of the liver.”  Urine Therapy by Dr. John O'Quinn  JAUNDICE  “Miss M. —14 years old.   At school several attacks of icterus (jaundice). Since 2/1/45 depressed, headaches, no appetite, coated tongue, somewhat increased temperature. Blown up feeling in the abdomen, pains in the right hypogastritum  13/1, Fully developed jaundice, urine dark brown.  16/1, Intragluteal injection of 1/2 cc. own urine. No local reaction.  31/1, Jaundice symptoms in the skin, sclera and urine disappeared entirely.  Feeling well again.”  Use of Urine Therapy in the Treatment of Infectious Diseases, Asthma, Allergies, Migraines, Viral Infections, Hayfever, Diabetes, Gout, Dysfunction of the Adrenal and Thyroid Glands, Heart Conditions by Dr. Plesch  JAW LOCK  123 “My right jaw was rendered so immobile that my mouth would not fully open on the right side. While eating it made noise similar to one heard while chewing ice pieces. I was not able to properly masticate roti (bread) for about one month, as chewing involved pain. Mostly I was on liquid or semi-liquid diet. I underwent allopathic treatment of tablets, capsules and injections and even radiation treatment, but it was of no avail. At last for a fortnight I drank urine, massaged with urine and placed urine pack on the cheek. This gave complete relief.”  from Manav Mootra by R. M. Patel  JELLYFISH STING, PORTUGESE MAN-O-WAR  "…I was stung by a blue bottle jellyfish (Portuguese Man-O-War) while body surfing (unfortunately I had just relieved myself in the surf). I came straight home and rubbed some old urine into the site. (I always keep some 1-2 days old), the pain diminished to negligible in a matter of minutes, and with a second application half an hour later, the pain and the red welts caused by the sting completely disappeared."  Urine: The Holy Water by Harald W. Tietze    JOINT PAIN  “Another woman, age forty-four and somewhat fatty, suffered from pain in her knees, shoulders and other joints, and slowly the pain covered her whole body.. There was swelling on almost all the joints. There was difficulty in walking too. She started Urine Therapy on May 12, 1966. She felt relief in only four or five days. Then she fasted on urine for five days. There was an all-around relief to her body. Her weight was reduced by about 12 pounds, constipation disappeared, cold was no more, and she now feels quite normal.”  Urine Therapy by Dr. John O'Quinn  ************************** K ************************** KIDNEY DISEASE  “Rusi Malaowala had a wonderful cure of his almost incurable kindey disease. doctors could not cure him. He was very anaemic. His urine contained 390 mgs. of urea (normal 124 is 30 to 40 mgs.) On Dr. Paragjibhai's advice he began urine treatment and in 2 months was almost cured.”  Manav Mootra by R.M. Patel  KIDNEY FAILURE  “How I Cured my Dead Kidneys - Naturally  I was always a huge believer in the “system”. I did everything the doctors told me to do, and that included every vaccine that was going and all the boosters. I also took antibiotics for two years, which I was given as a precaution for burns. I never enjoyed good health, constantly battling infections, both internally and externally. I spent a lot of time visiting both medical doctors and natural therapists, doing everything they told me. I took Panadol with my vitamin supplements.  When I got really ill, I would go on a fast of just fruit in the mornings and carrot juice all afternoon (absolutely nothing else) and no matter how sick I was (even severe ear infections) I was always better in 3-4 days.  As I was teaching severely disabled children, I was told to get my Hep B shots, which I did just before I fell pregnant. I swelled up like a balloon and did not lose weight after I had my daughter. Again I did everything I was told. I ate low fat everything and went to the gym regularly but did not lose an ounce; my bones became softer, more brittle, began to break easily and I suffered several broken toes.  After her 3rd vaccination needle, my daughter, Helena became limp and floppy for a whole week. I switched to Homeopathic Immunisation, and she has enjoyed 5 years of PERFECT  health!  The day after my cousin had a baby, she rang me and said that both her doctor and clinic sister had told her that homeopathically immunised children and unvaccinated children are a health threat to fully-vaccinated children for the first 5 years of the fully vaccinated child’s life! So she said my daughter could not see hers at all! This led to me more fully investigating this vaccination issue, and I was totally shocked to find that the exact opposite is the truth! That all the evidence (found mainly in Medical Journals and Government Statistics) proves that orthodox medical vaccines are not only ineffective and dangerous, but even counterproductive!  I gradually became very ill, with a severe dry cough that would not heal. For the first time in my life fasting did not work. I became more ill and weaker and was coughing, sweating and dry-reaching 24 hours a day. My brilliant acupuncturist diagnosed failed kidneys. She said my lungs were fine, but my kidneys were not producing enough fluid for my lungs to function. Using a “hot” needle technique she turned my kidneys from ice cold to very painful! 125  Later at home I read in my “Yogic Management of Common Diseases” book that what I had was incurable, but that it is thought that up to 12 pears a day can remove kidney stones. Well, I thought that it may be able to get dead kidneys working again - so I tried it! For 6 days I ate 12 pears a day, plus heaps of fresh parsley, 4 litres of filtered water and kidney cleansing herbal tea. I blew my nose continually and I lost nearly 2 stone in stored fluid in a week! I then realised that I hadn’t had a fat problem, but that my kidneys hadn’t worked properly since I had those Hep B vaccinations, and I was simply storing fluid. So, with the help of pears, kidney tea and gentle yoga that massaged my kidneys, I got them working again! I then switched to organic food and chemical free living (e.g. using white vinegar for all my cleaning and stain removal).  Then I turned 40....I felt fantastic, with the sole exception of a severe gum infection that I’d had for over a year, and that survived all my detoxing. My husband suggested Urine Therapy - so (after a bit of persuasion) I rinsed my gums with fresh, midstream urine, and miraculously, after only a couple of days, my gum infection was totally cured! I also put 50 drops of fresh midstream urine under the tongue, 3 times a day for 3 days. My urine changed from thick, dark, cloudy, and smelly to thin, light, clear and sweet during this short period of time (so I knew my kidneys had improved). BUT my acupuncturist was amazed at how all my internal organs were now working perfectly! That was last April - and I have never felt better. I have not had to see my acupuncturist (or indeed any health practitioner) for over 6 months and I have just experience my first winter ever without having to deal with colds and infections!”  Urine: The Holy Water by Harald W. Tietze  KIDNEY FAILURE  “Patient: Mrs. Minal Munkund Pednekar. Aged 32 years.  A nurse working in Chembur Hospital, Mumbai, suffered from kidney failure. The left kidney had stopped functioning totally, whereas the right one had failed 70%. Days were very painful for her as


 at that ti me.
Somehow I knew the treatment they were using was wrong.
    I brought my brother home still on heavy doses of thorazine. The s ide effects of this drug were so severe he could barely exist:
blurred vision, clenched jaw, trembling hands, and restless feet that could not be kept still. These are common problems with  the
older generation of psycho tropic medications, generally contro lled to some extent with still other drugs like cogentin (which he
was taking too).
    My brother steadily reduced his tranquilizers until he was able to think and do a few things. On his own he started taking a lot of
B vitamins and eating whole grains. I do not know exactly why he did this, but I believe he was following his intuition. (I
personally did not know enough to suggest a natural approach at that time.) In any case after three months on vitamins and an
improved diet he no long needed any medica tion, and was delighted to be free of their side effects. He remained somewhat
emotionally fragile for a few more months but he soon returned to work, and has had no mental trouble from that time to this day.
This was the beginning of my interest in mental  illness, and my first exposure to the limitations of ‘modern' psychiatry.
    I always preferred self -discipline to being directed by others. So I took every advantage of having a teacher for a mother and
studied at home instead of being bored silly in a classroom. In Canada of that era you didn't have to go to high school to enter
university, you only had to pass the written government entrance exams. At age 16, never having spent a single day in high sc hool,
I passed the university entrance exams with a grade of 97 percent. At that point in my life I really wanted to go to medical school
and become a doctor, but I didn't have the financial backing to embark on such a long and costly course of study, so I settle d on a
four year nursing course at the Univer sity of Alberta, with all my expenses paid in exchange for work at the university teaching
hospital.
    At the start of my nurses training I was intensely curious about everything in the hospital: birth, death, surgery, illness, etc. I
found most births to be joyful, at least when everything came out all right. Most people died very alone in the hospital, terrified if
they were conscious, and all seemed totally unprepared for death, emotionally or spiritually. None of the hospital staff want ed to
be with a dying person except me; most hospital staff were unable to confront death any more bravely than those who were dying.
So I made it a point of being at the death bed. The doctors and nurses found it extremely unpleasant to have to deal with the
preparatio n of the dead body for the morgue; this chore usually fell to me also. I did not mind dead bodies. They certainly did not
mind me!
    I had the most difficulty accepting surgery. There were times when surgery was clearly a life saving intervention, partic ularly
when the person had incurred a traumatic injury, but there were many other cases when, though the knife was the treatment of
choice, the results were disastrous.
    Whenever I think of surgery, my recollections always go to a man with cancer of th e larynx. At that time the University of
Alberta had the most respected surgeons and cancer specialists in the country. To treat cancer they invariably did surgery, p lus
radiation and chemotherapy to eradicate all traces of cancerous tissue in the body, bu t they seemed to forget there also was a
human being residing in that very same cancerous body. This particularly unfortunate man came into our hospital as a whole
human being, though sick with cancer. He could still speak, eat, swallow, and looked normal.  But after surgery he had no larynx,
nor esophagus, nor tongue, and no lower jaw.
    The head surgeon, who, by the way, was considered to be a virtual god amongst gods, came back from the operating room
smiling from ear to ear, announcing proudly that he  had ‘got all the cancer'. But when I saw the result I thought he'd done a
butcher's job. The victim couldn't speak at all, nor eat except through a tube, and he looked grotesque. Worst, he had lost a ll will to
live. I thought the man would have been much better off to keep his body parts as long as he could, and die a whole person able to
speak, eating if he felt like it, being with friends and family without inspiring a gasp of horror.
    I was sure there must be better ways of dealing with degenerative  conditions such as cancer, but I had no idea what they might
be or how to find out. There was no literature on medical alternatives in the university library, and no one in the medical s chool
ever hinted at the possibility except when the doctors took jab s at chiropractors. Since no one else viewed the situation as I did I
started to think I might be in the wrong profession.
    It also bothered me that patients were not respected, were not people; they were considered a "case" or a "condition." I was
frequently reprimanded for wasting time talking to patients, trying to get acquainted. The only place in the hospital where huma n
contact was acceptable was the psychiatric ward. So I enjoyed the rotation to psychiatry for that reason, and decided that I woul d
like to make psychiatry or psychology my specialty.
    By the time I finished nursing school, it was clear that the hospital was not for me. I especially didn't like its rigid hier archical
system, where all bowed down to the doctors. The very first wee k in school we were taught that when entering a elevator, make
sure that the doctor entered first, then the intern, then the charge nurse. Followed by, in declining order of status: gradua te nurses,
third year nurses, second year nurses, first year nurses,  then nursing aids, then orderlies, then ward clerks, and only then, the
cleaning staff. No matter what the doctor said, the nurse was supposed to do it immediately without question --a very military sort
of organization.
    Nursing school wasn't all bad.  I learned how to take care of all kinds of people with every variety of illness. I demonstrated for
myself that simple nursing care could support a struggling body through its natural healing process. But the doctor -gods tended to
belittle and denigrate n urses. No wonder --so much of nursing care consists of unpleasant chores like bed baths, giving enemas and
dealing with other bodily functions.
    I also studied the state -of-the-art science concerning every conceivable medical condition, its symptoms, an d treatment. At the
university hospital nurses were required to take the same pre -med courses as the doctors --including anatomy, physiology,
biochemistry, and pharmacology. Consequently, I think it is essential for holistic healers to first ground themselv es in the basic
sciences of the body's physiological systems. There is also much valuable data in standard medical texts about the digestion,
assimilation, and elimination. To really understand illness, the alternative practitioner must be fully aware of t he proper
functioning of the cardiovascular/pulmonary system, the autonomic and voluntary nervous system, the endocrine system, plus th e
mechanics and detailed nomenclature of the skeleton, muscles, tendons and ligaments. Also it is helpful to know the con ventional
medical models for treating various disorders, because they do appear to work well for some people, and should not be totally
invalidated simply on the basis of one's philosophical or religious viewpoints.
    Many otherwise well -meaning holisti c practitioners, lacking an honest grounding in science, sometimes express their
understanding of the human body in non -scientific, metaphysical terms that can seem absurd to the well -instructed. I am not
denying here that there is a spiritual aspect to he alth and illness; I believe there are energy flows in and around the body that can
effect physiological functioning. I am only suggesting that to discuss illness without hard science is like calling oneself a  abstract
artist because the painter has no abil ity to even do a simple, accurate representational drawing of a human figure.
    Though hospital life had already become distasteful to me I was young and poor when I graduated. So after nursing school I
buckled down and worked just long enough to save en ough money to obtain a masters degree in Clinical Psychology from the
University of British Columbia. Then I started working at Riverview Hospital in Vancouver, B.C., doing diagnostic testing, an d
group therapy, mostly with psychotic people. At Riverview I  had a three -year-long opportunity to observe the results of
conventional psychiatric treatment.
    The first thing I noticed was the ‘revolving door' phenomena. That is, people go out, and then they're back in, over and over
again, demonstrating that sta ndard treatment --drugs, electroshock and group therapy --had been ineffective. Worse, the treatments
given at Riverside were dangerous, often with long term side effects that were more damaging than the disease being treated. It felt
like nursing school all  over again; in the core of my being I somehow knew there was a better way, a more effective way of
helping people to regain their mental health. Feeling like an outsider, I started investigating the hospital's nooks and cran


I  couldn't say enough about how I  would never take any other treatment for cancer
than Dr. Kelley's. In fact, I  consult him on all my physical problems, I  wouldn't think
of taking another doctor's advice without asking Dr. Kelley's first. I  tell everyone
about Dr. Kelley!
I  am a most happy and satisfied patient of Dr. Kelley!
Dr. Kelley: "Many people want me to make decisions for them: Should I  have
chemotherapy? Should I  do this? Should I  do that? Should I  do what the doctor tells
me to do, or not to do what he tells me to do? These kinds of questions have given
me many, many hours of frustration and anxiety. First of all, I  am in a legal position
where I  cannot tell the patient not to do what the doctor tells them to do. And I  know
the physician does the very best he knows how. It is just that he is suffering from a
great deal of ignorance. So, legally I  am in a very bad situation.
"Morally, I  am even in a worse position. It becomes quite a dilemma in my mind.
All of us would like to take the easy way out and have somebody make our decisions
for us. But that doesn't give us the education we need and the experiences that are
our responsibility to take on.
"So, the way I  address the problem is this: God has given us a rulebook to follow
for our education. He tells us these are the principles we should follow in our life's
activities; and if we do these things, this w ill happen; and if we do those things, that
w ill happen. And then he lets us have the total freedom and free w ill to do what we
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Winning The Cancer War
will, and live with the consequences. I  study and try to find the basic principles.
"In a similar sense, Metabolic Medicine is essentially a program based upon what I
have observed in thousands of cases to be sound principles. I  am continually
improving my understanding of these principles and all I  can do is educate the patient
to the best of my ability. I  look at each patient and say, 'These are the things that I've
observed, and these are the principles upon which our program exists.'
"If you have a life threatening situation, such as a tumor mass blocking the colon or
blocking the bladder or blocking the stomach or blocking the air passage, you should,
of course, address it in such a way as to take care of it. Orthodox medicine has done
a very excellent job of addressing life-threatening situations such as trauma, and
infections. Each individual patient has to make the decision in a life-threatening
situation. If you have a 5-lb. tumor in the abdomen and it is dead from your doing a
nutritional program, it's certainly going to be easier to remove this 5-lb. tumor and
throw it away than it would be to sit there and have your immune system and body
chemistry gradually dissolve it, using a lot of energy and stressing the body to dissolve
it into the bloodstream and then cleaning out the bloodstream through the liver and
the other organs of elimination.
"In any situation that is addressed, you have to hold to basic principles and do
some ecological thinking. It would be stupid to say you are going to follow a
nutritional program when a tumor is blocking the intestinal tract and you can't get
any food into your body and you can't get any nutritional support. It would likewise
be stupid to say, 'I am going to take chemotherapy because I  have a snarled tumor in
my colon and I'll take chemotherapy to the point of death and then have a better
chance of survival.' Every situation is addressed individually, with understanding,
knowledge and wisdom."
References:
1. Devita, VT, et al. Cancer — Principles and Practice of Oncology, Philadelphia; J.B.
Lippincott Company, 1982, page 945.
Violet J. ~ Stanley, IA
7-Year Victory Over Breast Cancer.
I  am a farmer's wife, age 53. We live in a modern, ranch-style home in Northeast
Iowa. We raise cattle and have about 500 acres in diversified farming. We have
always been active in church, farm bureau, school, and community affairs. We have
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Winning The Cancer War
four married children.
I  have worked outdoors doing fieldwork, chores, chickens to tend, and a large
vegetable and fruit garden. My children had lots of sickness from tonsillitis to chronic
bronchitis, and coughing day and night with high fevers. When we learned about
chiropractic, that helped us a lot. When our youngest daughter was 14, she missed
six weeks of school with headaches as a forerunner of arthritis. She was in three
different hospitals, with all the typical medical tests done, showing nothing but
arthritis. They sent us home with the comment that there was nothing they could do
for her arthritis but give her 6 to 20 aspirin a day. From here, I  studied nutrition like
mad and would give her various things for her condition and she improved
dramatically. The next year, she needed a health examination so she could be a
lifeguard and the doctor told us he had never seen anyone so healthy. I  told him it
was all the nutrition I  was giving her and he said that had nothing to do with it, but I
knew it was the answer. We have had numerous medical doctors but none knew
anything about nutrition or w ill admit it has anything to do with health.
I  spent nine years working with the American Cancer Society as door knocker,
county chairman, crusade chairman, at district meetings and state conventions. My
mother died of cancer. I  know what the word "cancer" means — the hopeless feeling,
the despair — and I  am scared to death of it. When I  made my last call on a dear
friend who died of cancer, I  wanted to say to her: "I'll be the next one," for I  had
found a lump in my breast at that time; also, I  was having digestive disturbances. This
was three years after I  started learning about nutrition. I  have read a lot of books,
health magazines, etc. I  knew what medical science was doing. I  was determined I
would not go to be butchered at the hospital. I  said nothing to anyone about the
lump. It got larger as time went on. I  was trying to eat right, as much as I  could read
in the books.
The following March, my husband wanted to get each of us a life insurance policy.
I  said nothing but I  knew I  wouldn't pass a health test. The doctor told my husband
about the lump and I  was refused the insurance policy. He told me to go to the
hospital and have a biopsy, etc. I  wouldn't go. We went to visit my sister and told
her. By this time the lump was plainly visible when you looked at my breast. In a few
days she telephoned she had learned of a chiropractor that could help. He had
helped his daughter. A light in the tunnel. We started going to the chiropractor three
times a week, a 100-mile trip. After a few calls, he told us about Dr. Kelley and
advised both my sister and me to go to him, as she had had surgery and they found
cancer. In June we made our first call to Dr. Kelley. By this time the lump in my
breast was 1-3/4 inches across and there were numerous small ones and even some
in the other breast and more digestive disturbances.
Looking back now, I  can see the Lord leading me to study about nutrition so I
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Winning The Cancer War
would be prepared to know what I  needed when Dr. Kelley set up our nutritional
plan. I  told our children of the lump in my breast and our plans to go to Texas to see
Dr. Kelley. From the beginning, I  had the assurance that I  was doing the right thing. I
had accepted Christ as my Saviour and I  knew His perfect peace and was assured of
His leading. Our youngest daughter made it plain she thought I  should go to a
medical doctor. My husband was doubtful, but let me do what I  wanted to do.
I  ordered Dr. Kelley's book, One Answer to Cancer and started the beginning of the
treatment. This looked like a large undertaking. Dr. Kelley was a long way off and
would be hard to contact regarding problems from day to day. Still I  never doubted
that this was the way I  should go. I  have doctored my children for 18 years with
medical doctors and medicines and never had any help. This had to be the better
way. I  never told my family doctor about the lump in my breast. The only one who
knew of it was the doctor who had refused me the insurance policy.
When we went to Dr. Kelley for our test, he counseled us as long as we had
questions. We left his office with our programs to follow. My sister and I  studied our
books all the way home, which was a three-day trip. Dr. Kelley had told us in his
book what to expect, how we would feel and what our body reactions would be, so
we would be prepared to know what was


gers. Badgers kill
mice. Mice kill bugs. Bugs…You have only to look at nature to
realize there is no justice in the world. Tornadoes, floods, tidal waves,
draughts are all unfair. It is a mythological concept, this justice
business. The world and the people in it go on being unfair every
day. You can choose to be happy or unhappy, but it has nothing to
do with the lack of justice you see around you.
164This is not a sour view of humanity and the world, but rather an
accurate report of what that world is like. Justice is simply a concept
that has almost no applicability, particularly as it pertains to your
own choices about fulfillment and happiness. But too many of us
tend to demand that fairness be an inherent part of our relations
with others. “It isn’t fair.” “You have no right to do that if I can’t”
and “Would I do that to you?” These are the sentences that we use.
We seek justice and use the lack of it as a justification for unhappi-
ness. The demand for justice is not the neurotic behavior. It only
becomes an erroneous zone when you punish yourself with a negat-
ive emotion as you fail to see evidence of the justice that you so fu-
tilely demand. In this case the self-defeating behavior is not the de-
mand for justice, but the immobilization that may result from no-
justice-reality.
Our culture promises justice. Politicians refer to it in all of their
campaign speeches. “We need equality and justice for all.” Yet day
after day, nay, century after century, the lack of justice continues.
Poverty, war, pestilence, crime, prostitution, dope and murders
persist generation after generation in public and private life. And if
the history of humanity can be used as a guide they will continue.
Injustice is a constant, but you, in your infinite new wisdom, can
decide to fight that injustice and refuse to be seduced into being
emotionally immobilized over it. You can work at helping to eradic-
ate injustice, and you can decide that you won’t be psychologically
defeated by it.
The legal system promises justice. “The people demand justice,”
and some of them even work to make it happen. But it generally
doesn’t. Those with money are not convicted. Judges and policemen
are often bought by the powerful. A President and Vice-President
of the United States are pardoned or wrist-slapped for obvious
felonies. The poor fill the jails, and have next to no chance of beating
the system. It’s not fair. But it’s true. Spiro Agnew becomes rich after
evading his income taxes. Richard Nixon is exonerated, and his yes-
men serve a fewTHE JUSTICE TRAP  / 165months in a minimum security prison, while the poor and members
of minority groups rot in jail waiting for trial, waiting for a chance.
A visit to any local courthouse or police station will prove that the
influential have a separate set of rules, although this is relentlessly
denied by the authorities. Where is the justice? Nowhere! Your de-
ciding to fight it may be admirable indeed, but your choosing to be
upset by it is as neurotic as guilt, approval-seeking or any other of
the self-flagellating behavior that constitutes your erroneous zones.
“It’s Not Fair!” The Slogan of Ineffective Relationships
The demand for justice may infiltrate your personal relationships
and prevent you from communicating effectively with others. The
“It’s not fair” slogan is one of the more common—and destruct-
ive—laments made by one person against another. In order for you
to consider something unfair you must compare yourself to another
individual or group of individuals. Your mind-set goes something
like this: “If they can do it, so can I.” “It’s not fair for you to have
more than I.” “But I didn’t get to do that, why should you?” On and
on they go. In this case you’re determining what is good for you on
the basis of someone else’s conduct. They, not you, are in charge of
your emotions. If you are upset because of not being able to do
something that someone else has done, then you’ve given them
control over you. Whenever you compare yourself to anyone else,
you are playing the “It’s not fair” game, and shifting from self-reli-
ance to other-directed external thinking.
One of my clients, an attractive young woman named Judy, is a
good example of this kind of self-destructive thinking. Judy com-
plained about her unhappy marriage of five years. One night in
counseling she acted out a marital argument for the group. When
the young man who was taking the role of Judy’s insur-166 / Your Erroneous Zonesance salesman husband said something unpleasant to her, Judy im-
mediately countered with “Why did you say that? I never say things
like that to you.” When he mentioned their two children, Judy said,
“That isn’t fair. I never bring the children into an argument.” When
their role working turned to a prospective evening’s entertainment,
Judy’s reasoning was once again, “That isn’t fair. You get out all the
time while I have to stay home with the children.”
Judy ran her marriage on a tally sheet. One for you, one for me.
Everything must be fair. If I act this way, you must act the same
way. It was no wonder she was hurt and resentful most of the time,
more concerned with righting imaginary injustices than examining
and perhaps improving her marriage.
Judy’s search for justice was a neurotic dead end. She was assess-
ing her husband’s behavior on the basis of her own and her happi-
ness on the basis of her husband’s behavior. Were she to stop her
incessant keeping track and begin going after the things she wants
without having to be in debt to the other, then her relationship would
improve significantly.
Fairness is an external concept—a way of avoiding the taking
charge of your own life.’ Instead of thinking of anything as being
unfair, you can decide what you really want, and then set about
devising strategies for attaining it, independent of what anyone else
in the world wants or does. The simple facts are that everyone is
different, and no amount of your bitching about others having it
better than you will bring about any positive self-changes. You’ll
need to eliminate the other-references, and throw away the binocu-
lars that focus on what others are doing. Some people work less and
get more money. Others get promoted out of favoritism, when you
have the ability. Your spouse and children will continue to do things
differently from you. But if you focus on yourself rather than com-
pare yourself to others, then you will have no opportunity to upset
yourself with the lack of equality you observe. The backdrop for
virtually all neurosis is making others’ behavior more significantTHE JUSTICE TRAP  / 167than your own. If you carry around the “If he can do it, so should
I” sentences, you’ll be running your life on the basis of someone else
and never create your own life.
Jealousy: A “Demand for Justice” Sideshow
John Dryden called jealousy “the jaundice of the soul.” If your
jealousy gets in your way, and creates any amount of emotional
immobility, then you can set as a goal the elimination of this wasteful
thinking. Jealousy is really a demand that someone love you in a
certain way, and you saying “It isn’t fair” when they don’t. It comes
from a lack of self-confidence, simply because it is an other-directed
activity. It allows their behavior to be the cause of your emotional
discomfort. People who really like themselves don’t choose jealousy
or allow themselves to be distraught when someone else doesn’t
play fair.
You can never predict how someone you love will react to another
human being, but if they choose to be affectionate or loving you can
only experience the immobility of jealousy if you see their decisions
as having anything to do with you. That is your choice. If a partner
loves another, he isn’t being “unfair,” he is simply being. If you label
it unfair, you’ll probably end up trying to figure out why. A perfect
example is a client of mine who was furious because her husband
had an affair. She became obsessed with trying to figure out why?
She was constantly asking, “Where did I go wrong?” “What’s wrong
with me?” “Wasn’t I good enough for him?” and similar self-
doubting questions. Helen was always thinking about the injustice
of her husband’s infidelity. She even contemplated having an affair
herself as a way to right the balance. She cried a great deal and al-
ternated between fury and sadness.
Helen’s faulty thinking, which leads her to unhappiness, lies in
her demand for justice which suffocates her in this relationship. She
has made her husband’s choice to engage in sex168 / Your Erroneous Zonesthe reason for her to be upset. At the same time she is using his be-
havior as a rationale for doing something that she probably wanted
to do for a long time—but didn’t because it isn’t fair. Helen’s insist-
ence on strict justice would have meant that if she were the first to


 head.
"I was in Momasar to nurse ailing Sadi':vis (nuns). Once I was
suddenly down with catarrh, bleeding through nose and mouth
started, veins of the head dilated. I was averse to drinking urine. I
opposed for some time but my opposition failed against the
persuasion of the sisters of the Ashram, and as Acharya Pravar had
sent us there specifically for urine therapy my opposition was
without logic. At last in keeping to the word of the elders I began
drinking urine, putting wet packs of urien on head as also massaged
with urine. After three days' treatment satisfactory progress was
registered. My faith became firm. The treatment continued for
several days.
Whenever now I am attacked '•by cold or headache I have
recourse to this treatment and get well. For the IC\,§t five years I have
not taken any medicine as sue~.. This simple and easily available
remedy has become my favourite now."
CHAPTER XIII
COMPLAINTS OF THE ANUS
1. Fistula : (1) Kaviraj Ramswarup Kaushik had cured fistula also
with urine therapy where report is an follows :
"My close friend Shri Sitaramji Chaudhari was suffering from
fistula for 15 years. Qn the seam between thighs there was an ulcer
about two inches long. He used to insert cotton-wool about 20 gms.
in the wound and put five or six layers of khadi cloth on it over
which he \JOuld wear his loin-cloth. He felt acute discomfort.
Cotton-woo. had to be replaced twice or thrice every day. When he
told me tha~ even after, two operations the sickness only aggravated, J. COMPLAINTS OF THE ANUS : 235
I told him that if he followed my advice he would certainly be
cured. I prescribed soft cloth soaked in his own wine as a fresh pack
every day on the wound and drinking of auto-urine. He followed it
for two months and was relieved of much of the trouble. Pus
f.)rmation was stopped and the occasional dirtying when he walked
some distance also was stopped. Chaudhari's faith in his cure was
strengthened. After seven months most of the morbidity was cured.
He had then to go out of jeera. He wrote from his new abode that
his Cbmplaint was not completely cured. So he was advised dashang
ointment and he was completely relieved of the trouble."
(2) shri chhotabhai D. chauhan (Nava Deesa, Gujarat) developed
a small boil on his anus in september 1976. This later turned out to
be the dread disease of fistula, which dissipated his zest ~G life. Two
operations and several injections were fruitless. The wound would
fester no!il-stop.
At last in 1977 he came round to adoption of auto-urine. He
dutifully put urine-packs on the wound. The deep wound of about
three -fourths of an inch gradually was reduced. Thought yet the
wound is not completely cured he has at lec::.~t not to change his
clothes twice or thrice at day, and he has firm belief of his complete
recovery. Western medicin.es cost him thousands of rupees and yet
no benefit was gained. On auto-urine treatment he had nothing to
lose except his discomfort. Urine therapy has such miraculous
powers.
2. Bleeding piles : Shri Ramesh Panwar, a servant in the C.I.D.
(Vig.) in Ajmer is a strict vegetarian, aged 27 years, He writes on
1 -2-1977 :
I was sufferinp from bleeding piles. My condition was gradually
deter~orating due to this disease. I was growing weak, had giddiness,
woulc feed darkness and faint. Several indigenous remedies v!ere
tried. I was oppesed to an operation. Fate intervened and I w-:..
shown the bo'Jk Arogyaka Amulya sadhan : shivambu -swamutra. 1
read it and steeled myself and gulped down a full glass of my early 236 : AUTO-URINE THERAPY
morning urine resolutely. For the whole day I was on nerves. I took
onry kedgeree (khichri) and milk that day. In the evening I had clear
mbtions without bleeding or pain. With one glass of urine I was
instantly cured of the four-year-old complaint. With a week's urine
treatment the chronic ailment was totally uprooted.
"Daily on waking up, I have replaced my urine for the celebrated
cup that cheers": tea. When I miss my morning glass of urine I feel
restless throughout the day. By urine massage, my" complexion has
become radiant and _ colour has brightened. A few of my
acquintarices also have become devoted to this therapy."
CHAPTER XIV
STRAY COMPLAINTS
1. Nocturnal Emissions and Weakness : Shri Ramesh Nathani,
B.Sc., D.T.c. is a promising youth. He is not addicted to any dissipating
habit nor is giveh to fineries. For about three years he was
embarrassed with nocturnal emissions. With my encouragement he
began drinking urine twice a day from june, 197.5-. And occasionally
urioe massage also. He could not follow dietetic regime. For the last
month and a half there has been no complaint in the night and his
weakness also has to an extent been cured.
-EDITOR
1. High Fever1"; Sheth Nagindas vidyavihar is ~ famous and
popular school of Ahmedabad. Its former Principal, the renowned
Gujarati litteratuer, Shri Jheenabhai Desai (snehrashmi) was
attacked by infections virus giving him instant high fever. When not
relieved by Western medicines he resorted to auto-urine. With a
urine-fast of about ten days his fever subsided. But at some
allopathic physician's instance he took moong soup which resulted
in a relapse. So the soup was given up and the urine fast was
resumed for several days. This relieved him of the fever.
1 this is reproduced frorr an artide by Shri Chandulal K. Dave in
Bhoomi Putra, 26-6-1975 CHAPTER XV
WOMEN AILMENTS
1. Menorrhagia and Hysteria : Shrimati Kirandevi patwari of
Mornasar (Raj.) is of 30 years. The. following in the report of her
recovery:
"I was for several years a victim of menorrhagia. I was operated
for that at the Dungargarh Government Hospital. But it ·gave no
rei ief; on the contrary it created hysteria in me and I began to get its
attack. Alternatively doctors and Vaidyas tried their skills on me but
without any effect. I was daily growing weak. I was kept in the
Ratangar,h hospital also for one-month and I was operated upon for
,second time. But the complaint wou.ld not leave me. At last with the
consent of the family members, I began Urine therapy. For some
days. I was on urine fast. About two hours' urine massage and thrice
urine drinking every day for a month drove away both menorrhagia
as also hysteria. By Shri Sancheti's grace I had almost a new life. I,
therefore, request all brothers and sisters to give up recourse to
Western medicines and benefit with this remedy."
2. Abortion and· Bleeding : Shrimati Vaishali pandit (32 years)
was admitted in a hospital for confinement. But there was abortion
and she returned home. But as bleet:ling would not stop she was
obliged to adopt urine treatment. It was begun with a three-day
urine fast. After the fast she was kept on milk and fruit. She drank
thrice daily her own urir,e and massaged also with it. After a
month's treatment under the supervision of Shri K. G. pandit she was
completely relieved and well.
. U. T.-18
237 CHAPTER XVI
BONE COMPLAINTS
· 1. weakness of Bones : Pinky of 19 years, stays in jammu. Her
bones were as weak even in childhood that she would collapse on
walking even a short distance. Bones of her arms, hips and legs had
been· fractured.. She could with only on all fours.. Her body had
become very heavy. All current remedies proved unless.
The local urine therapist Shrimati Kala jain put her on a nine-day
urine fast. For two-three weeks Shrimati jain hereself gave. her daily
urine massage for an hour and a half. She took urine five of six times
daily. She eschewed whatever was shunned by urine therapy. Mostly
she took vegetables and fruits. She was cured beyond expectations
within three months. Her heaviness was reduced. Her fingers could
move freely in


of the year, this  being largely due so their
particular  type of body.  (See  Man  and  The Zodiac, by David  Anrias.  In 124
 this book are illustrations   of the 12 different types of bodies.) If this be
true, though I am not in a position to commit myself for or against  it, it
goes to explain why disease, which  is a unity, manifests  in so many
different ways. For instance, it is said that those born  between March
21st and  April 20th are apt to suffer from troubles connected  with the
head, face  or brain, whereas, for instance, those born  between the
same days of September,  October, may  suffer from afflictions  of the
lower abdomen  or kidneys, or both ‐that is, provided they  do not take
suitable measures  to avoid  such troubles. (See  Health, Diet and
Commonsense,  by Cyril  Scott.) This, I grant, may  sound all very far‐
fetched, but I have learnt never to scoff  at what I do not understand.
Although I have proved up to the hilt the efficacy of urine‐therapy,  it
still contains for me a lot that is mysterious.  When I ask myself why
should urine when taken by the mouth especially  select those organs
which  require rebuilding,  I can offer  no more rational  explanation  than
the doctor who tells  us that certain drugs will affect certain organs. Not
that doctors agree  on this point, for a doctor once  said in my presence
that he left college with sixty remedies  for every disease, and found in
the first  ten years of his practice that he had  sixty or more  serious
diseases to match his drugs, but no cures! It was this man  who also said
he found people who had  no treatment  lived the longest  and  suffered
the least, the inference  to be drawn being that most  people died  of the
doctor and not of the disease!  This worthy physician  was a very candid
man.  But he would not have needed to make this admission  had  he
employed  urine‐therapy  instead of his sixty drugs. The advantage  of
urine‐therapy  is its extreme simplicity  as anyone can see without the
telling.  It is not a specific for any given disease, it is a specific for health.
It is also a prophylaxis  against a number of annoying "trifles" which  are 125
 not the less  annoying on that account.  I do not exaggerate  when I say
that some thousands  of peole in Europe and America  now know from
experience  that there  is nothing to equal  urine, especially  old urine, for
chapped  hands, blisters, stings, sores, protection  against "barber's
rash," woolsorters'  diseases, perspiring  feet, the loss of hair, dandruff,
and  various other  unpleasant  afflictions.  Gargling with  fresh  urine both
prevents and  cures "clergyman's  throat," whilst  to drink autogenous
urine freely  every day acts  as a preventive  against  impeded flow of
urine. It also facilitates  evacuation.  And this  priceless remedy  costs
absolutely  nothing, except at first a little self‐discipline  in the
overcoming  of what seems to be an "unpleasant"  idea.
Those who read that widely known  book Mother India may  remember
some passages therein  devoted to the "filthy habits" of the  native
peoples. Among the health "superstitions"  its authoress  pointed  out,
was the belief that the waters of one part of a famous  river in North
Middle India possesses  healing properties.  People bathed in and  drank
its waters. Wondering  whether there could be something  more  than
faith in the cures effected,  she had  samples of the water analysed by
European  analysts. The healing liquid proved to be nothing more  than a
weak solution of urine and aqua pura!
And with this startling denouement  I will end this chapter.
 126
 CHAPTER  XXI.
CONCLUDING  REFLECTIONS.

It seems unnecessary  to increase the volume of this book. If the
successful  treatment  of very many thousands  of cases of a large variety
of diseases, including a liberal  percentage  of so‐called  incurable  ones,
does not prove  se efficacy of urine‐therapy,  then nothing else can.
Moreover,  as we have seen, many of the patients had previously  tried
other  methods,  both orthodox  and unorthodox,  without  success.  This is
not to say that the therapy  can without  exception  cure  every patient of
every diseased  condition.  Severe arthritic conditions  have proved very
difficult to cure, whilst  diabetic conditions  have in many cases not
yielded to the treatment  at all. On the other  hand, which  may  seem
strange,  growths, and  tumours  said to be cancerous,  as also cataracts,
have yielded quickly. As for those patients who might have been saved
by urine‐therapy  they  probably run into larg: figures. These are chiefly
cases I had to decline to help, not because I regarded them as hopeless
in themselves,  but because I feared the interference  of well‐meaning
but timid relatives at a vital moment when such interference  might well
have proved fatal, and they  and I should have then, been faced with an
inquest. In short  I was taking no chances, for only qualified doctors can
do this without risk to themselves.  In other  words, doctors are allowed
to experiment  on their patients either with


, and believing that past events can affect or prevent you
from experienci ng peace right now is but a defense against the present
moment. When your mind is aligned with peace as your one goal, you
cannot help but see the cosmos as unified and therefore peaceful. This
shows how powerful your mind  really is! It shows how important it is to
focus on what you truly want, on that which is truly helpful to you.Exercise: Choosing Peace of Mind
To listen to a recorded version of this exercise, go to
http://www.newharbinger.com/41870. Make sure you have some time to yourself as this exercise
requires deep inquiry. You may have come to a beautiful place in
your journey with this book, or the journey may have started to
bring up deep beliefs and even discomfort. This is okay and part
of the journey. Sit comfortab ly now. Take a deep breath. Reflect
for a moment on what you have learned from the previous
chapters—guidance, trust, and acceptance—before going  into the
following exercise. Use your journal for free association. 1. Recall a recent situation when you felt stressed, for
example when you were stuck in traffic, at work, or at home
with your family. Now take some time to reflect and ask
yourself these questions: What perspective did I choose in
that situation? Was I choosing pain and conflict, or was I
choosing peace and joy? Recall your thoughts and feelings. Begin to consider that you have options and that you
can always choose again. In order to undo the tendency
to jump into past thinking in stressful situations, this
practice of considering your options rather than being
reactive invites you to be vigilant with your thoughts,
which is imperative when you want to achieve a state of
peace. 2. What in your mind or life right now is causing you anxiety or
stress? Write down at least three or four situations that are
causing you concern, worry, or stress. These situations don’t have the power to cause you
to feel the way that you feel. All power lies in your own
thinking. Therefore, examine any thoughts associated
with the situations. Are you blaming externalcircumstances for your stress? Are you willing to take
responsibility for your state of mind? Your answers to these questions will determine how quickly
you will experience peace of mind. I encourage you to make a firm commitment to the practice of
going within to release the feelings and emotions that arise in
stressful situations. For example, when you notice some worry,
immediately pause and allow the feeling to be fully released. Remind yourself that your healing is inevitable and that peace of
mind is available right now. Realize that it’s all for your healing,
rather than something that is happening to you. In an unexpected situation, you may catch yourself feeling
irritated by outside surroundings, or you may feel annoyance or
impatience. This is your opportunity to step back and pray for a
miracle. Ask yourself: “Do I believe this annoyance has external
causes? Or am I now begin ning to recognize my own reactions
and interpretations?” Remind yourself that it is with acceptance,
regardless of how difficult the situation seems to be, that you can
peacefully go through it. Join with the true prayer of your heart
and ask for help from your inner guide, the Holy Spirit. This practice requires willingness and vigilance, and your
peace of mind  is more than worth it. Start now. Know that true
peace of mind is the only experience that is real and ultimately
inevitable. Prayer:  Only Peace Remains
Take some time now to relax and just be, in this moment,
sincerely, with the Holy Spirit as a loving presence to comfort and
guide you. Allow yourself to rest deep within the core of your
being while you read the following prayer:
As I sink inward,
I begin to see the nature of the mind,
and the powerful nature of thought.When I accept God’ s freedom for myself,
I accept God’ s freedom for everyone and everything,
because there is nothing outside of mind. As I change my mind, the entire world looks different,
as I accept the Spirit’ s vision I can see. No longer will I confuse pain and joy. Pain is the outcome of the ego; joy is the inspiration of Spirit. The confusion between pain and joy is the cause of any
suffering
and if I follow the Holy Spirit, the ego will be given up,
and I will suffer nothing. I will, instead, be gaining everything: joy, true freedom, and
inner peace. This is my choice. Now I accept the will of God,
and I accept that God’ s will is my will. There is nothing else. This is peace. Amen. The Observing Mind
Raising unconsc ious beliefs to awareness is deep, inner work. It takes a
lot of willingness and humblene ss. This is why affirmations don’t really
work. For example, affirming that you are loved, loving, and happy
without taking a deep look at the darkness and self-hatred is nothing
more than a temporary fix that, at best, can spur your inspiration to take
it a bit deeper.In my own life, the parable of David, going within and facing the
emotions whene ver I felt unco mfortable that I wasn’ t with somebody
and feeling the discomfort of aloneness was a very important part of
emptying my mind of all concepts and coming to inner peace. You may
have had the experience of feeling lonely in a crowd or the feeling of
connectedness when you’re walking alone along the beach, for example. Such experiences give a hint that everything is really about your
psychological state of mind. So, it comes down to a lot of practice,
emptying, and clearing to get down to what’ s under the little nudges that
you feel. There’ s a root that runs much deeper, the root that takes you
down into the guilt experience. Whenever I’ve looked for completion in
partnership, in work, in family relationships, in environmental situations,
and in different locations and countries, I discovered that it didn’ t work. Those things weren’ t lasting, and they didn’ t offer a sense of completion
and peace of mind. Instead, I have come to a clear awareness that there is
a purpose, a calling that’s in me, that is identical to this ever-present
moment. The spiritual journey is really about finding your inner calling
and then following it. Because when you do that, it takes you into an
extraordinary state of mind that is actually very natural, for its very
nature is peace. You may start to see that the way to experience peace is through
just observing the world. Sinkin g back into the soft and gentle presence
of the observer is the whole purpose of the spiritual journey. Being the
observer and being able to watc h it all, to not get caught in the mortal
fuss, and to not even have an opinion about it or to feel that you have to
participate in it is your goal. When you are in Spirit, you are really
beyond the touch of time. Time goes by without its touch upon you. You
aren’ t really a traveler through time and space, but you travel through
ideas, concepts,  and beliefs until you reach the shore of tranquility, of
deep peace.Part III
Miracles in RelationshipsChapter 10
Transforming Special Relationships
As you get closer to your true desire for peace, you will find it important
to look at your relationships. Your relationships are mirrors to your
mind, to what you believe. The greatest barometer for your state of mind
is found in the way you feel in all of your relationships, be they close
intimate ones, family, friends, colleagues and business associates, or
casual encounters. The closer the relationship, the deeper the healing
potential, so in this chapter, I’ll talk about “special” relationships. Whenever we think of ourselves  as special, the ego has us look for what
is different or lacking in other s. The ego then compares, making us
better, or more special, than the “other.” This judging is what the ego
considers its job. At the most basic level, specialness is a belief in
differences. This belief will always be the cause of distress and conflict
in relati onships because it is based on separation. This chapter will
unveil the dynamics of specialness and how the ego uses it in
relationships. Most people think of an interpersonal relationship as some kind of
fulfillment because they feel that there is something empty, like a hole
inside. It’s common to think that a relationship will answer the call for
intimacy, connec tion, and love. When there is this sense of need or lack
in the mind, it turns into an often-unconscious desire: “I need to get
something from you.” This sets up a big expectation. Disillusionment is
an inevitable result of the pattern of using relationships to solve a
perceived inner lack or emptiness. Maybe the most common unquestioned expectation, one that is
lifted up in society, is the marriage vow. There is an expec tation of
longevity, where silver, gold, and diamond anniversaries are regarded as
respected accom plishments. When we look outside for a partner to meet
our needs and they fail to live up to the role the ego assigned to them,
then it is curtai ns down. It is either “I’ve had enough of this,” or webegin an ego bargaining,