 the Power  of your
Presence  may  be released  quickly,  to do Its Perfect  Work
for you.  I enfold  you  in the Fulness  of My  Love.  As the
Children  in India  became  a Part  of My Love,  so today,  you
have  become  a Part  of My  Love.  Try  to feel  what  that
means  to you.  Then  in the Fulness  of your  Call  to the Pres-
ence,  ask It to give  you  the Courage  and  Strength,  which
will enable  you  to make  your  Call  with  such  earnestness,
the Instantaneous  Response  comes  without  limit. DISCOURSE  VIII  119
Until  We  meet  again,  in the Fulness  of your  "Mighty
I AM  Presence,"  thru  whom  I pour  My  Love—FEEL!
ACCEPT  IT AND  BE FREE!  "I AM"  the  Courage!  "I
AM"  the Strength!  "I AM"  the Light  within  you,  which
gives  you  the Courage  and  Mastery  of your  human  self.
"I AM"  the Full  Power  of Obedience  within  you,  to every
Requirement  which  makes  for your  Freedom!
In all the Universe  there  is but One  Power,  One  Light,
One Substance,  One  Intelligence—"I  AM"—the  Power  of
the Godhead;  announcing  Its Authority  at your  focus  of
activity  in the physical  octave.  Remember,  as you  refer  to
the Godhead,  use  Those  Words—"I  AM"!  Do not follow
Those  Two  Words  with  any  negative  expression  or feeling;
because  if you  do, then  in your  Call  to the Presence,  you
make  that  negative  activity  tremendously  more  powerful  in
your  Life.  Do not ever  say:  I am sick;  I am broke;  I am lim-
ited.  Don't  do it, because  then,  you  qualify  the Power  which
you are calling  forth,  to produce  that  very  quality  and  ex-
perience  for you.
Instead,  to every  expression  of pain  in the body,  limita-
tion of finances  or limitation  of any  kind  whatsoever,  say
to such  appearance:  "'You  have  no power'!  I know  my
own  God  Presence,  my 'Mighty  I AM'!  I know  there  can-
not act in my  world  any  limiting  thing  any  longer"!  If
there  is pain  in the  body,  say  to that  pain:  "Be  silent!
'Mighty  I AM  Presence'!  sweep  out cause  and  effect  of this."
Then  feel  It do it, and  you  will  be commanders  of your
bodies  in no time!  You  have  the Assistance!  Now  use It! 143 THE  "I AM99  DISCOURSES
Do not yield  to those  conditions  or appearances,  which  have
frightened  you  and  made  you  believe  you  were  under  their
domination.  You  are no longer  under  the domination  of
pain;  under  the domination  of disturbance;  nor  under  the
domination  of limitation  of any  kind!  You  are not!  Will
you accept  that  and  live  it in feeling,  so you  may  have  your
Freedom  now ? In the Infinite  Light  of the "Mighty  I AM
Presence,"  the Great  Host  of Ascended  Masters  and  the
Great  Cosmic  Beings,  We enfold  you  all in the Fulness  of
Their  Infinite  Light,  Its Power,  Its Activity,  Its Love,  Its
Blessing!  May  Our  enfolding  Light  cause  you  to feel  only
Love  and  Blessings  pouring  out from  you  forever!
We thank  you  for This  Opportunity  of calling  your  at-
tention  to Our  Endeavor  to assist  you,  the rest  is with  you.
We are ready!  We have  released  the Power,  the Energy,  the
Intelligence  to act!  To the  degree  you  will  accept  It and
feel It, will  It produce  Our  Perfection  in your  world!
In the Glory  of Our  Light  of Infinite  Power  and  Intel-
ligence,  I enfold  you  now  and  forever. DISCOURSE  XI
SAN  FRANCISCO,  CALIFORNIA.  August  i, 7937
Beloved  Children  of the Light,  you  have  been  taught
much.  Tonight,  will  you  come  with  Me on a journey,  so
you may  realize  more  than  ordinarily,  that  which  is a part
of your  world,  yet unknown  to you.  I refer  to your  Great
Inner  Light  (or  Life)  which  is the  Activity  of your
Reality,  thru  your  Higher  Mental  Body.  It is a Part  of you
so Real,  so Magnificent,  that  if you  suddenly  became  aware
of the Perfection  which  you  really  are,  your  Joy would  be
so boundless.
I say to you  who  have  the appearance  of years,  if you
suddenly  saw  how  beautiful,  how  youthful  you  really  are,
the appearance  of age only  having  registered  on the atomic
structure  of your  body;  how  differently  you  would  feel.
This  Appearance  of the outer  structure  is but an appear-
ance.  It is not your  Reality,  and  yet it seems  so real to you.
This  is just  the outer  garment  which  you  are wearing,
upon  which  you  have  registered  the discord,  which  has the
appearance  of limitation  and  age.  Now,  We  are  rapidly
dissolving  all of that;  and  you will  stand  forth  Free,  wholly
Free  from  your  own  creations.
It was  My Joy to render  a Certain  Service  in which  one-
third  of your  own  human  creation,  or that  of all the
"I AM"  Students  in America,  was  dissolved  and  con-
121 122 THE  "I AM99  DISCOURSES
sumed  for you.  The  Love  within  This  Class  has  made  it
possible  for further  Assistance  of this  kind  to be given.  I
may  not say just how  much,  but just rejoice  in It.
Before  We continue,  the Service  which  I began  yesterday,
I wish  you  to know  is a Most  Remarkable  Thing.  This
Service  being  rendered  you,  has not been  tried  within  the
Children  of Earth,  for more  than  two  hundred  thousand
years.  I tried  It at first,  only  as an experiment,  as to what
could  be done  with  a general  group  of the Students.  I find
It can  be done  for all, which  is an Accomplishment  that
brings  very  Great  Rejoicing  to Me.
As the Beloved  Messenger  just  read  to you,  when  the
Children  were  before  Me  in the Cave  of Light  in India,
This  Same  Service  was  rendered.  Oh,  feel instead  of having
to go to far-off  India  at great  expense  and  use  of time,  I
have  come  here  to you!  It is the first  time  in the History
of the Earth,  a Cosmic  Being  has really  come  in Person,  to
render  the Children  of Earth  Such  a Service.
Now,  We can  more  definitely  plan  Our  Activity  for the
Outward  Progress  and  the Expansion  of your  Light.  We
can determine  more  definitely  just  what  you  will  do. Does
it sound  unusual,  as though  We had  not confidence  in you ?
Not at all, because  you  have  not known  just  what  your  hu-
man  selves  would  do, and  it is why  We could  not depend


 I didn’t have a lot ofmedical problems.
All of that changed after I had my first baby. That’s when my
weight began to fluctuate and I started experiencing painfulheadaches. I went from a size 3 to a size 13, and the headaches
181began affecting my ability to function. After my second pregnancy
I went up to a size 18 and the headaches got even worse. I triedliving on aspirin to control the pain, but it didn’t work.
At the age of 45 I hit a wall with my weight. I’d always
followed the Dr. Atkins diet to lose weight, but suddenly it didn’twork anymore. So I tried different things. I tried eating smallportions, eating low fat, low sugar, whole grains, fresh fruits andvegetables. I tried eating yogurt and popcorn and oatmeal. Ithought these foods were good for me and would help me, but allthey did was make me bigger.
As I got older my asthma attacks went out of control. It almost
seemed as though the more weight I gained, the worse the asthmagot. I started carrying my inhaler with me all of the time.
After my third baby I had gained so much weight I lost all the
muscle control in my tummy. I was pear-shaped. I had skinny legs,skinny arms, and a huge stomach. My doctor at the time told methat if I tried to carry another baby I’d probably drag it on theground so I decided not to have any more babies. I had my uterusremoved. That was in 1988.
I had other medical problems at that time as well. I had to
have a bladder operation—it seemed like everything was fallingout of me! One day I had an attack, doubling over in pain, avery sharp pain in the whole stomach. I was taken to a doctorwho diagnosed gallbladder and scheduled me for surgery.Unfortunately, after that surgery I had constant diarrhea. I alsohad high cholesterol. All my hormones had gone out of whack.
My doctor at the time prescribed Premarin for me and also
Meridia, a diet pill for weight loss (I was up to a size 20). In anattempt to understand my failing health, I was reading a lot, andI got hold of some literature that was critical of Premarin. I sharedit with this doctor. She told me it was nonsense. She said that sinceI did not have a uterus, I needed estrogen. She changed myPremarin to an estradiol patch, another type of estrogen.182 THE MIRACLE OF BIO-IDENTICAL HORMONES  I began waking up every morning with headaches. It got so
that I dreaded going to sleep at night because I knew that when Iwoke up I’d have this excruciating pain. I had no energy andstarted experiencing hot flashes. When I discussed these symptomswith my doctor and suggested that the estradiol patch and theMeridia might not be helping me, she made me feel like a failure.It was as though it was my fault that I could not lose weight.
I was so worried about my failing health that I started
talking to everyone I met looking for advice. Through acompounding pharmacist I found my way to Dr. Platt.
At our first meeting, Dr. Platt did a very thorough history on
me. He wanted to know everything about my medical history, myparents’ medical history, my sister, my husband, everything. Hehad me take a blood test on my first visit. He did a completehormone panel and, after looking over the results, explained whatwas going on in my body. He told me that the food I had beeneating was affecting my insulin levels. He explained what happensthroughout the day when you eat those kinds of foods. He could seefrom my history and my blood tests that I was already making toomuch estrogen and certainly didn’t need to take more. Dr. Plattwas concerned about my daughter as well, since my family has ahistory of breast cancer and uterine cancer. He told me to stoptaking the estradiol and the Meridia, and he put both me and mydaughter on natural progesterone.
He told me that my other doctor wasn’t lying to me; it’s just
that she was misinformed about natural hormones. He also gaveme a book,
Metabolic Solutions, that reviewed all the things that
he told me about. He said I was to commit myself to a programthat he would design for me. He said I would lose my weight, havemore energy, and my headaches and hot flashes would probably goaway too.
A nutritional counselor in his office set a goal weight for me
and designed a meal plan that included shopping tips and foods to183 DOCT ORS DON’T ALWAYS LISTEN buy. He told me to wean myself off sugar and caffeine. The day
after I saw the counselor I was at work and I started to getweaker and sicker until by evening I thought I might be dying. Icalled the counselor, who had Dr. Platt call me back immediately.Dr. Platt reassured me that it was just my body going through adetoxification process from sugar and caffeine. He said I’d be a lotbetter the next day, and sure enough, he was right.
I continue to go into Dr. Platt’s office once a week. When I go
in, they check my blood pressure and my urine to see how muchfat I am burning. They weigh me, and I get a B12 shot.
It’s been easy to stay on the diet and I’ve lost 60 pounds. T oday
I don’t wake up with headaches any more—a miracle! Mydiarrhea’s gone, no headaches, no asthma, and I have energy now.People tell me all the time that I look slimmer.
I really believe that the natural hormones have helped me the
most. I’m able to control my eating now because I understandwhen and why I get hungry. Candy and caffeine just don’t seemimportant to me anymore. I’m also not scared of getting out ofcontrol when I get to my goal weight. I used to be afraid ofreaching my goal weight, thinking I would just gain it all backand then some, just like before. I now rely on the nutritionalcounselors at Dr. Platt’s office because they always have goodadvice for me. They remind me that I’m going to be introducingcarbohydrates one at a time, slowly, and that they will monitor theeffects on me. I haven’t reached my goal weight yet, but I alreadyfeel successful
.
CHILDBIRTH AND HEADACHES
Shirley’s headaches began after she gave birth to her first child.
That’s because pregnancy and birth cause vast hormonalshifts in some women. Hormones affect every aspect of184 THE MIRACLE OF BIO-IDENTICAL HORMONES  pregnancy. The most obvious example is women with low
progesterone and high estrogen suffering from morningsickness and miscarriages.
During the second trimester, the placenta begins producing
copious quantities of progesterone. Progesterone is thefeel-good hormone, and that’s why we have the cliché of the“radiant” expectant mother as she nears childbirth. However,after a woman delivers, her progesterone level suddenlyplummets. At this point the cliché reverses itself: postpartumdepression is a common occurrence. In Shirley’s case, hernormally low progesterone levels sank even further after shegave birth, bringing on the headaches.
She’d already had symptoms of asthma as a result of her low
progesterone, and naturally those symptoms got worse after thebirth of her child. Shirley reports feeling that her asthma gotworse as her weight increased. This is not surprising, since themost likely cause of her asthma was a high estrogen levelassociated with low progesterone. The more fat cells a personhas, usually the higher their estrogen levels. This, by the way,could be the reason for the higher incidence of breast cancerin obese women.
Shirley’s feeling that it was harder and harder to control
her weight through dieting as she aged is something manypeople can identify with. People in their 40s often becomealarmed at how stubbornly fat clings to their bodies.Throughout their teens, 20s, and 30s, they were able to forcethemselves to shed a few pounds when they got desperateenough, but now nothing seems to work.
In Shirley’s case, this was doubly true because she was
over-producing insulin. Anyone who responds well to ahigh-protein diet is over-producing insulin. The most commonreason why people over-produce insulin is that they are not185 DOCT ORS DON’T ALWAYS LISTEN producing enough progesterone, and as we get older
progesterone levels decrease. This means that in middle ageour bodies will produce more insulin. And insulin, as I’vesaid again and again, is the fat-storing hormone.
SIGNS OF ESTROGEN DOMINANCE
Shirley’s medical profile told me in many different ways that she
was suffering from estrogen dominance. Very often, troublewith one’s gallbladder is a complication of estrogen dominance.The menstrual migraines were caused by estrogen. Herpear-shaped body type is the classic body type for someoneover-producing estrogen.
MERIDIA FOR WEIGHT LOSS
—A FOOL’S ERRAND
Shirley was prescribed Meridia to help her lose weight. This was
an error. Meridia is, in most cases, completely ineffective forsignificant weight loss.
Meridia is a combination of an SSRI (selective serotonin
reuptake inhibitor) and an NRI (norepinephrine reuptakeinhibitor). It was originally developed


need, but it neither takes respon sibility for that need nor opposes it. In this
way the other person is seen as real, because whenever you need something,
your need is your reality.
The only true need anyone has is to be seen as r eal.
A lot of the time we are lost in unreal needs. Your mate could be asking
you to clean house for dozens of reasons. She may be angry or feel upset
that household work is all left to her. She may feel demeaned, ignored,
overwhelmed, anxious, compulsive, controlling—or she may just need help
cleaning the house. The absenc e of ulterior motives is what marks spirit.
The neediness of an insecure ego doesn’ t get disguised by other tactics.
When you are in spirit you don’t feel the urge to manipulate, cajole, seduce,
demand, beg, or insist. You simply allow, and in that you make an open
space for love to flow.
Does this mean  that a “spiritua l” person always gets up from  TV or a
book to clean the house? No. Spirit never acts in a fixed way. In general, to
hear that someo ne you love needs you does result in fulfillin g the need.
There are certain  loving instincts that come naturally when you are in touch
with spirit:
You don’ t oppose.
You put feelings over results.You want to help. Service gives rise to feelings of joy.
You put another ’s wishes on the same plane as your own.
These instincts develop and mature through surrender over the years. But
if you go back again to the experience of falling in love, you will see that
these aren’ t learned responses. Love already contains them. Love
automatically means release from ego conflict and struggle. A single
experience of falling in love isn’t a complete release, since struggle
inevitably return s, but lovers get at least a glimpse of the Way. Whether
they can articulate it or not, this is what they discover:
It takes no ef fort to love.
The state of being has its own innate joy.
Questions answer themselves if you are aware enough.
Life is safe.
Flowing with the current of being is the simplest way to live.
Resistance never really succeeds.
Controlling the flow of life is impossible.
These are the realizations that bring a person out of struggle. Struggle is
born of the ego’ s isolation; it ends when you can find the W ay and surrender
to its guiding force.
Struggle appears to be against others or against yourself, but in r eality it is always against
dharma. In dharma ther e is no struggle.
Since one of man’ s most prized qualities is his ability to strugg le against
adversity, a life of nonstruggle falls far outside our current worldview. Yet
to come from love obviously cannot be a struggle. How are the two
reconciled? The answer lies in free will. Humans can choose  to end the
struggle and come from love—every day this possibility is precisely what
you face in your relationship, for example. Marriage is a testing ground and
a mirror. It tests your willingness to believe in love as the solution. It
mirrors the beliefs you actually operate under, which are either in love or in
non-love. Strugg le and surrender are the two poles of free will. Because all
of us believe in love some of the time but not all, we are fated  to lead our
lives in conflict unless we find a way to resolve this dualism. Hence the
importance of dharma.
In the case of animals and plants, dharma operates automatically; there is
no need for self-doubt and questioning, and no chance of straying from thepath. Growth and behavior are both innate. The tiger has no remorse for its
predatory natur e, no empathy for its prey, no ability to change into a
peaceful grazer of grass if it wanted to. If tigers are to evolve into different
kinds of creatures, the move must occur to the whole species by increments
that take thousands of years.
In mode rn scientific terminolog y the unfolding of the genetic code that
makes a banyan tree different from a tiger lies at such a deep level within
cellular memory  that, short of dying, nothing a creature does in the way of
behavior can divert its preprog rammed DNA. In spiritual terminology, a
creature’ s dharm a is more powerful than any single individual; it upholds
life on a set path as long as a species is able to find a fit environment for its
survival.
Dharma operates for humans too, but in a way that allows for free will.
Each of us grows from a single fertilized egg into a matur e person as
dictated by our unique genetic code. Our genes put us on a timetable written
into our cells. Your first set of baby teeth did not stop coming  in because
you found their growth painful and cried; puberty was not hastened or
delayed by your emotional confusion.
Yet within this pattern set for our species, you have tremendous freedom
to act, to think, to feel. You make choices that influence your happiness far
beyond your prospects for survival. The fact that we are both determined
and free has been a puzzle for many centuries. The Vedas teach that human
beings are capable of personal  evolution, not just the evolution of the
species. A person who is motivated by anger, selfishness, distrust, and
jealousy always has a choice to evolve and achieve a new level where love,
compassion, forgiveness, and truth replace these lower drive s. In other
words, spirit responds to your vision of it, and the higher your vision, the
more you will evolve.
Choosing your own dharma determines completely how happy, successful, and loving you will be
in your lifetime.
By the standards of our culture, this is a startling statement, for we
believe in randomness, accident s, and unforeseeable influences. We do not
believe that spirit is constantly responding to our vision. On the path,
however, these random elements are a mask. There are no accide nts in spirit—everything happening around you is a reflection of your current spiritual
state. If your spiritual state is confused, anxious, and doubtful, then there is
limited power of dharma operating in your life. You are detached from the
natural laws that are meant to uphold each person from birth to death.
Without dharma  there can be no love, because love is part of dharma’ s
upholding force. A life lived in dharma can partake of love without limits.
Dharma is a subtle, flexible, ever-changing guide, always sensitive to the
next step that is meant for you and no one else.
The logical question arises, “If there is a universal force that can guide
my life, why don’t I see or feel it already?” The answer is that spirit is
blocked by the ego’s vision. If you are living a vision of life derived from
your separate, isolated identity— as almost everyone is—then a new vision
cannot compete.  Love and ego are incompatible. Surrender must begin on
the smallest, most intimate scale. It starts with you and someone you love,
learning to be together without resistance or fear.
When two peop le decide to approach life as a path of evolution, their
relationship is dharmic. You and your beloved are walking a path never
walked in exactl y the same way by anyone else who has ever lived. You do
not take a breath, think a though t, have a wisp of feeling that existed before,
and the intimacy you build together will never be known again. Countless
paths exist—as many as there are people in the world—and yet, like an
invisible guiding  thread, each path must follow the Way of living that leads
to spirit.
OceanofPDF.comLOVING  PRACTICE
Letting Go
IN PRACTICAL TERMS  surrender means letting go. Although you don’t realize
it, reality isn’t a given. Each of us inhabits a separate reality. Your mind
maintains your personal versio n of reality by buttressing it with beliefs,
expectations, and interpretations. Your mind blocks the free flow of the life
force by saying, “This is how things must and should be.” Letting go
releases you from this insistent  grip, and when you let go, new forms of
reality can enter.
You only have to take a ride on a roller coaster to see who gets more
enjoyment out of the experience, those who clutch tight with white
knuckles and clenched jaws or those who let go and allow them selves to be
carried up and down without resistance.
Letting go is a process. You have to know when to apply it, what to let go
of, and how to let go. Your mind is not going to show you any of these
things; worse still, your ego is going to try to prevent you from making
progress, since it believes that you have to hold on in order to survive. Your
only ally in letting go is spirit, which sees reality as a whole and therefore
has no need to create partial realities based on limitation. Releasing yourself
into spirit is the purpose of the following exercises.
The whole path to love could be described as learning to let go, but
letting go all at once isn’t possi ble. This is a path of many small steps. At
any given moment the steps are basically the same: awareness begins to
substitute for reactions. A reacti on is automatic;


 f
forgiveness.
• To understand all is to forgive all
When man understands the creative law of his own mind, he ceases
to blame other people and conditions for making or marring his li fe.
He  knows that his own thoughts and feelings create his destiny.
Furthermore, he is aware that externals are not the causes and
conditioners of his life and his experiences. To think that others  can
mar your happiness that you are the football of a cruel fate that you
must oppose and fight others for a living—all these and others  like
them are untenable when you understand that thoughts are things. The
Bible says the same thing. For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
PROV-ERBS 23:7.
• Summary of your aids to forgiveness
1. God, or Life, is no respecter of persons. Life plays no favorit es.
Life, or God, seems to favor you when you align yourself with the
principle of harmony, health, joy, and peace.
2. God, or Life, never sends disease, sickness, accident, or suffe r-
ing. We bring these things on ourselves by our own nega-tive
destructive thinking based upon the law as we sow, so shall we reap.
3. Your concept of God is the most important thing in your life. If
you really believe in a God of love, your subcon-scious mind will
respond in countless blessings to you. Be-lieve in a God of love.
4. Life, or God, holds no grudge against you. Life never condemns
you. Life heals a severe cut on your hand. Life forgives you if y ou
burn your finger. It reduces the edema and restores the part t o
wholeness and perfection.
5. Your guilt complex is a false concept of God and Life. God, or
Life, does not punish or judge you. You do this to yourself by your
false beliefs, negative thinking, and self-condemnation.
 186  6. God, or Life, does not condemn or punish you. The forces of
nature are not evil. The effect of their use depends on how you use t he
power within you. You can use electricity to kill someone or to l ight
the house.
You can use water to drown a child, or quench his thirst. Good and
evil come right back to the thought and purpose in man’s own mind.
7. God, or Life, never punishes. Man punishes himself by his fa lse
concepts of God, Life, and the Universe. His thoughts are creat ive,
and he creates his own misery.
8. If another criticizes you, and these faults are within you, rejo ice,
give thanks, and appreciate the comments. This gives you the
opportunity to correct the particular fault.
9. You cannot be hurt by criticism when you know that you are
master of your thoughts, reactions, and emotions. This gives you the
opportunity to pray and bless the other, thereby blessing yoursel f.
10. When you pray for guidance and right action, take what comes.
Realize it is good and very good. Then there is no cause for self-pity,
criticism, or hatred. 11. There is nothing good or bad, but thinking
makes it so. There is no evil in sex, the desire for food, weal th, or true
expression. It depends on how you use these urges, desires, or
aspirations. Your desire for food can be met without killing  someone
for a loaf of bread.
12. Resentment, hatred, ill will, and hostility are behind a host of
maladies. Forgive yourself and everybody else by pour-ing out l ove,
life, joy, and good will to all those who have hurt you. Continue until
such time as you meet them in your mind and you are at peace wit h
them.
13. To forgive is to give something for. Give love, peace, joy,
wisdom, and all the blessings of life to the other, until there  is no sting
left in your mind. This is really the acid test of forgiveness.
 187  14. Let us suppose you had an abscess in your jaw about a year a go.
It was very painful. Ask yourself if it is painful now. The a nswer is in
the negative. Likewise, if someone has hurt you, lied about and
vilified you, and said all manner of evil about you, is your thought of
that person negative? Do you sizzle when he or she comes into  your
mind? If so, the roots of hatred are still there, playing havoc with you
and your good. The only way is to wither them with love by wishing
for the person all the blessings of life, until you can meet the pers on in
your mind, and you can sincerely react with a benediction of peace
and good will. This is the meaning of forgive until seventy times
seven.

 188  18
How Your Subconscious Removes
Mental Blocks
The solution lies within the problem. The answer is in every
question. If you are presented with a difficult situation and y ou cannot
see your way clear, the best procedure is to assume that inf inite
intelligence within your subconscious mind knows all and sees all, ha s
the answer, and is revealing it to you now. Your new mental atti tude
that the creative intelligence is bringing about a happy s olution will
enable you to find the answer. Rest assured that such an attitud e of
mind would bring order, peace, and meaning to all your undertakings.
• How to break or build a habit
You are a creature of habit. Habit is the function of your
subconscious mind. You learned to swim, ride a bicycle, dance, and
drive a car by consciously doing these things over and over again unt il
they established tracks in your subconscious mind. Then, the
automatic habit action of your subconscious mind took over. This is
sometimes called second nature, which is a reaction of your
subconscious mind to your thinking and acting.
You are free to choose a good habit or a bad habit. If you repeat a
negative thought or act over a period of time, you will be under  the
compulsion of a habit. The law of your sub-conscious is compulsion.
• How he broke a bad habit
Mr. Jones said to me, “An uncontrollable urge to drink seizes me,
and I remain drunk for two weeks at a time. I can’t give up t his
terrible habit.”
Time and time again these experiences had occurred to this
unfortunate man. He had grown into the habit of drinking to excess.
Although he had started drinking of his own initiative, he also began
to realize that he could change the habit and establish a new one. He
 189  said that while through his will power he was able to suppress  his
desires temporarily, his continued efforts to suppress the m any urges
only made matters worse. His repeated failures convinced him that he
was hopeless and powerless to control his urge or obsession. Thi s idea
of being powerless operated as a powerful suggestion to hi s
subconscious mind and aggravated his weakness, making his life a
succession of failures.
I taught him to harmonize the functions of the conscious and
subconscious mind. When these two cooperate, the idea or desire
implanted in the subconscious mind is realized. His reason-i ng mind
agreed that if the old habit path or track had carried him i nto trouble,
he could consciously form a new path to freedom, sobriety, and peac e
of mind. He knew that his de-structive habit was automatic, but since
it was acquired through his conscious choice, he realized that if he had
been conditioned negatively, he also could be conditioned positivel y.
As a result, he ceased thinking of the fact that he was powe rless to
overcome the habit. Moreover, he understood clearly that there wa s no
obstacle to his healing other than his own thought.
Therefore, there was no occasion for great mental effort or me ntal
coercion.
• The power of his mental picture
This man acquired a practice of relaxing his body and getting into a
relaxed, drowsy, meditative state. Then he filled his mind wit h the
picture of the desired end, knowing his sub-conscious mind could
bring it about the easiest way. He imagined his daughter
congratulating him on his freedom, and saying to him, “Daddy, it’s
wonderful to have you home!” He had lost his family through drink.
He was not allowed to visit them, and his wife would not speak  to
him.
Regularly, systematically, he used to sit down and meditate in the
way outlined. When his attention wandered, he made it a habit to
immediately recall the mental picture of his daughter with her smile
and the scene of his home enlivened by her cheerful voice. All thi s
 190  brought about a reconditioning of his mind. It was a gradual proces s.
He kept it up. He persevered knowing that sooner or later he  would
establish a new habit pattern in his subconscious mind.
I told him that he could liken his conscious mind to a camera, that
his subconscious mind was the sensitive plate on which


 hardened, and liquify it so that it will run out of the body.
This is the beginning of the program.
The real work in healing the body is going to come later when there is a transformation in tissue integrity resulting in a hi gher
quality body. This process brings on the healing crisis and may take 6 months to bring on a complete elimination. Thi s will result
in cleaner, purer tissue that is able to accept and handle the good, vital foods you’re feeding it.
This program is not just a colonic - it is much more. We call it a colema because it’s a combination of an enema and a colonic.
This program i nvolves more than just taking Core of the bowel. We must prepare the body’s elimination channels for the
housecleaning that is on the way. If we build the body up to cause a cleansing to occur, then we must open up the elimination
systems to handle this di scarded material.
It is common for old, toxic substances to flow not only from the bowel, but from all channels; lungs, mouth, nose, ears, skin,
kidneys, lymph, vagina; all possible channels must be ready and capable of handling the flood.
In preparing for  this occurrence, I strongly advise that you become more familiar with the process by studying my book which
explains the healing crisis in detail, titled Doctor -Patient Handbook. One of the usual occurrences for those who have experienced
this system is t he extreme elimination of feces. One patient explains that she could have a complete bowel movement and then take
a colema and have still another bowel movement and, after an hour or so, have another complete bowel movement!

Many people think that they ar e cleaned out when they have one movement. Unfortunately, most people are as many as 10 meals
behind in their eliminations! They are holding many meals in the ballooning, pocketed portions of their bowel. The colema
treatment will loosen up this material a nd make it flow. It will also restore tone and activity to that part of the bowel that is
distorted and underactive. We’ve had some people who are afraid that they are losing part of the bowel because the material
coming through is so unbelievable in its s hape, color, consistency and odor. They can’t imagine the heavy mucous lining being so
foul, thick and stringy. This is not a desirable thing to retain in the bowel because it is carrying the seeds of disease and  illness. It is
loaded with old drugs, tissu e and morbid substances. It is the favored environment for the disease -producing bacillus coli. As the
body rises up from the old, we must work with it, support it and encourage the process. We work with less food, more broths, more
rest. The body responds  with revitalization and regeneration in all the tissues of the organism. This is why we call it a tissue
cleansing treatment. It gets after every tissue in the body, not just the bowel. We realize by now that every tissue in the b ody is as
clean as the bo wel. This is due to the fact that every tissue is fed by the blood which is nourished by the bowel. When the bowel is
dirty, the blood is dirty and so on to the organs and tissues.

When diarrhea comes along, don’t stop it. Let it go, it is a cleansing pr ocess. Drink plenty of liquids to avoid being dehydrated.
During the healing crisis, do not eat very much; nothing at all is best. Overeating during this time will possibly shut down the
process and thereby delay that which you have worked so hard to make occur. Go instead to the vegetable juices, vegetable broths
and light liquids. If there is any fever, do not use any fruit juices, especially citrus juices. Potato peeling broth is the best thing to
use at this time. A fever indicates that the body is hard  at work burning up toxic substances. Let’s not interfere with it by forcing
the body to divert needed cleansing energy into having to process food.

The bowel is like a vacuum cleaner bag. It filters and filters until it is all clogged up and doesn’t do i ts job anymore. In fact, a
clogged up bag causes damage to the motor by allowing debris to pass by where it finds its way into the delicate machinery. I t also
places a very heavy load upon the motor, which is trying to draw air through the dirty bag. The c olema treatment unplugs the filter,
so to speak. This treatment will be relatively new to a lot of people. It can be used by young and old alike, as well as so -called
healthy people. Practically any disease, discharging, infection, catarrhal or bowel distu rbance and lowered hormone balance due to
toxins can benefit from this treatment.

WHERE CAUTION IS NECESSARY
In diverticulitis we find that there can be severe reactions resulting from the painful condition that already exists in the patient.
There may b e abscesses forming. We might have a perforation of the bowel and we must be very careful in taking care of this. It
will always be best to have a doctor’s counsel and to see just what is going on. We find that if we can cleanse the bowel wit hout
any diste ntion, even though using large amounts of water in the enema, we will be helping these sensitive problems. We feel that
the colema, which is one of the most natural ways of putting water into the bowel and eliminating it without any heavy disten tion,
is probably the best way to take care of these things. However, we must make sure that we don’t have any symptoms that are really
grievous to the patient, mentally or physically. We must also watch that the white cell count does not become very high becau se
we find that this will be a sign of infection and possibly conditions developing other than the diverticulitis that couir be of a serious
nature. Further, we have to consider that there could be obstructions in that bowel from a growth and that to expect anyt hing to
happen immediately from the colema and from the tissue cleansing treatment may be unrealistic. It is always best to have a do ctor
check over these conditions to make sure this treatment can be used in combination with his suggestions and with his d iag-nosis.

WARNING AND ADVICE
Due to the fact that this can be considered the most powerful tissue cleansing treatment available today, some skill must be
attended to persons given this treatment. It is well to have the cooperation of a doctor to handle t he most severe cases. It is also
advisable to have a complete clinical examination so that all and any tests can be monitored as patient makes progress. This is not
to be considered a “cure -all,” but an adjunctive treatment. It is a foundation for thorough  tissue detoxification by way of colon
cleansing. It is well to have complete regulatory and competent advisory consultation with those giving and administering thi s
treatment. A doctor knowing the “reversal process of cure” is to be desired. A disease in its reversal system will bring about
different symptoms and can be responsible for elimination processes. Chemical, mechanical or nutritional assistance is also
desirable and can be used with any other form of treatment favoring elimination and detoxificat ion. A clinical examination should
basically include: urinalysis, a complete blood count, PBI, SMA -24, acid -alkaline fecal test, test for acidophilus bacteria, X -rays
when needed, and any other test(s) that can be used to show tissue or functional changes taking place during this treatment. Any
particular weakness of any organ or system that is underactive should be tested often, or as deemed appropriate by doctor in order
to monitor the patient closely.

WARNING. Diabetic, tubercular, cancer and extreme de generative diseases must have guidance, sanction and assistance by the
most capable minds and doctor. Diabetic cases must be handled with particular care in regard to the fasting aspect of the
cleanse. Also all cases are not alike in their response to the detoxification program. Results may vary considerably according to
individual constitutions. Frequent colonic irrigation will have an adverse effect upon the electrolyte balance of the colon.
Electrolyte leaching is not a good process and must be avoided. The best way to prevent this occurrence is to be absolutely certain
that adequate amounts of lactobacillus organisms are re -established in the colon. To accomplish this task, refer to pages 51 through
55 in this book.

When the body is properly fed with go od quality foods containing organic sodium, potassium and magnesium, the electrolyte level
of the colon will be replenished as part of the diet. We must eat properly along with colon treatments. DO NOT OVERLOOK
THIS VERY IMPORTANT ASPECT OF COLON HEALTH.

SUPPLEMENTS
A DEFINITION OF PROPERTIES
The following ingredients are used in the treatment for specific reasons. So that you may more fully appreciate the usefulnes s of
these items, a brief explanation of their properties is included.
Alfalfa —The differe nce between alfalfa tablets, Green Life and Sun Chlorella is that alfalfa has all the fiber material left in it from
the stems and fiber structure of the leaves. These act as a bulk and a material for a ballooned or weakened bowel to work aga inst
the tone of the tissues of the bowel. This also allows a faster transit time for the bowel. This is one


urine was passed very slowly. She was using allopathy treatment but was not satisfied with the results. She was brought to our auto-urine therapy centre at Goregoan with the help of three women from an acupressure centre. It was also very difficult for her to walk.  The persons coming with her were all non-vegetarian, hence I gave her my fresh urine to drink. At that time she did not know that she was given urine. After a little while she urinated properly and she felt great relief from pain.  126 Later on I treated her with acupressure for a year. She even drinks her own fresh urine regularly. For the past four years she is still working in her daily routine without a single dialysis, with only her one kidney working at 30% efficiency.”  Urine: The Holy Water by Harald W. Tietze  KIDNEY INFECTION  Gpe. Teresa of the T. Barba. Mexico.  "I have a daughter who, from 8 months of age, suffered high temperatures of 41C degrees. I heard on the radio about a conference, but I did not take much note. Shortly after, the father of my temple said that a conference in the temple would occur and I went. After the talk, I left very convinced and I began to give the urine to my daughter. The 20th of May of 1996 I began to give my daughter the therapy and by 28th of May I had to do tests on her. We found that my daughter had problems of the "reflux urevolateral". The Doctors set up an operation in 4 months. At this time I had to give her antibiotics. She got worse and the drugs did not convince me she would get better. My Daughter was very anemic.  My husband and I then decided to give her urine each month. We did the procedure for her each month and the pediatric Doctor was very surprised to see that the girl was better than a person that had ever been ill. So on every month I did the procedure to her and she no longer has infections. During the infection in an entire year she only gained 1kg. Taking the urine, in the following 4 months, she gained 3,800 kg.  My daughter is now healthy and has not returned to be anemic. I thank God and to the Urine-therapy. The name of the girl is Mariana."  World-wide Case Histories of Urine Therapy by Gary Ward  KIDNEY SURGERY  Marcelino Ll. Barragan {Mexico} "Surgically, I lost a kidney. I began the treatment of Urine-therapy. ln the third week of therapy, I did fasting for 3 days, and another fasting one month after. With the therapy, I have changed my ways of eating. Now, I like many vegetables and fruits and others foods cautiously. I have felt more energy and I give thanks to our Christ who gave me my health."  World-wide Case Histories of Urine Therapy by Gary Ward 127  KIDNEY STONES  “0n May 30, 1977 I began feeling pain in my stomach. And then for the whole day I could not pass urine so got myself admitted to Civil Hospital. The surgeon declared that I was a case of kidney stone. For thirty days I took medicines and injections which gave considerable relief. During this period in the hospital a book on auto-urine therapy came to my hand. I followed it and practised auto-urine experiment. After continuous three months' practice of the therapy I have been completely free from the ailment.”  from Manav Mootra by R. M. Patel  KIDNEY STONES  “Shri S. K. Pandit. C.I.B. Officer, Raipur (M.P.) aged 45. From 1970 he had pain in his right kidney. After trying all types of treatment in 1975 under the supervision of Shri K. G. Pandit he resorted to urine therapy, He was kept for a month on urine, water and milk, as he could not sustain a fast. He would eat greens and fruit in ample measure and would take triphala (an Ayurvedic medicine) for bowel movement. He would drink urine thrice and massage with old urine. His pain has gone. For the last two years he feels no complaint. But since a fourth of the hardened substance (stone) still remains he is advised to continue the urine and massage.”  from Manav Mootra by R. M. Patel  KIDNEY STONES  “Shri Pratap Jethalal Kantharia is an artist. He is thirty-five. He suffered from kidneystone for 7 years. Doctors could not cure him. He did not accept doctor's suggestion for operation. He got advice from Dr. Paragjibhai Desai at Bombay urine cure centre. He started urine treatment in May 1966. He used to drink auto-urine three times a day, 1/4 lb. each time. He massaged his body for 75 minutes each day for seven days with old urine and kept urine pack on the painful part. In one month he was cured. There is no trouble for the last two years and is completely all right now.”  Manav Mootra by R.M. Patel  KIDNEY STONES  Shri Pratap Jethalal Kantharia, an artist of Bombay aged 35 was having stones in the kidney for seven years. He got treatment from many doctors but all advised operation to 128 him to which he did not agree. At last Dr. Parag D. Desai, Director, Bombay Urine Therapy Centre treated him. He was advised wet pack anointment and urine drinking and the patient got cured.  Miracles of Urine Therapy by Morarji Desai  KIDNEY STONES  Alicia R. Castle. Mexico. "I want to give my testimony about how the Urine-therapy acted in me. When I took it for 15 days, 3 small kidney stones left me, resembling gravel. In truth, I did not know what was wrong with my kidney, but I suffered pain in my back.   Most wonderful is that my legs no longer hurt me. The suffering came from my bad circulation. So much time I spent treating myself with homeopathy and I see it does not cure. Now I give thanks to God that urine therapy has me healed."  Testimonials of Patients Cured by Urine Therapy http://paraisodelasalud.org/testimonios.htm  KIDNEY STONES  Daisy M. Torres {Mexico} "I am 39 years old, and thanks to God I found out what urine cures, by means of my sisters-in-law and my daughter, who went to a conference. For one month now I have been using the method of Urine-therapy and I already did one fast in which I rid myself of kidney stones and I lost 4 kilos of weight. I thank God for this treatment that I received because I also had colitis and already I am healed."  World-wide Case Histories of Urine Therapy by Gary Ward  KIDNEY TROUBLE   “A man had no relief from kidney trouble stopped all medicine and began taking urine three times daily. With the intake of urine he had clear motions, and there was no difficulty in urination. He also started massages with old urine, after which he used to take baths with warm water. The experiment continued for a month and the following benefits were obtained.  Constipation had been removed to a great extent. Now the stools were of a natural color. Piles were eliminated altogether. Appetite was revived, and he began to enjoy his meals. 129 A scar of dry ringworm was cleared by rubbing urine. Back pain alleviated. Urination is easy, but slight burning sensation is still there, due to the narrowing down of the passage. Eruption near the left ear has gone. Two small spots on the right hand, affected with white leprosy, have been almost cleared. Itching sensation disappeared by urine massages in the very beginning. Everything digested has no ill-effects.   The gentleman says, ‘Thus I have been benefited in a number of ways, and there is no exaggeration in what I have stated.’ ”  Urine Therapy by Dr. John O'Quinn  KNEE INJURY  “A fifty year old woman accidentally had some hard impact on her right knee, and so the cartilage's there were injured. She could not walk properly and afterwards she developed arthritis. It  was then very difficult for her to stand erect  for a few minutes. Bone specialists gave a verdict that it was  a very hard case. By chance, she came to know about Urine Therapy. She fasted on urine only for two days and massaged her knees for about two months and is quite all night now.. If there is any pain, she applies Urine Therapy and cures it at once. She can now climb 300 steps in a very high building. She is adept in Urine Therapy and she has cured a young woman of her tumor by this treatment.”  Urine Therapy by Dr. John O'Quinn  KNEE PAIN  “"I am of 70 years. I was suffering from constipation for years. My knees and sleeves were giving me pain for the last 20 years. It was with great difficulty that I could stand or sit down or move about. There was pain and sprain in my chest and stomach, high blood pressure.and hypertension, insomnia and loss of appetite. Allopathy could not give any relief. Ayurveda no doubt gave some but not of lasting nature.  Thus I had to resort to urine treatment in 1974. Drank


 nies.
Much to my surprise, in a  back ward, one not open to the public, I noticed a number of people with bright purple skins.
    I asked the staff about this and every one of the psychiatrists denied these patients existed. This outright and widely -agreed -upon
lie really raised my cur iosity. Finally after pouring through the journals in the hospital library I found an article describing psycho
tropic -drug-induced disruptions of melanin (the dark skin pigment). Thorazine, a commonly used psychiatric drug, when taken in
high doses over a  long period of time would do this. Excess melanin eventually was deposited in vital organs such as the heart and
the liver, causing death.
    I found it especially upsetting to see patients receive electroshock treatments. These violent, physician -induc ed traumas did
seem to disrupt dysfunctional thought patterns such as an impulse to commit suicide, but afterwards the victim couldn't remem ber
huge parts of their life or even recall who they were. Like many other dangerous medical treatments, electroshoc k can save life but
it can also take life away by obliterating identity.
    According the Hippocratic Oath, the first criteria of a treatment is that it should do no harm. Once again I found myself tra pped
in a system that made me feel severe protest. Ye t none of these specialists or university professors, or academic libraries had any
information about alternatives. Worse, none of these mind -doctor -gods were even looking for better treatments.
    Though unpleasant and profoundly disappointing, my experi ence as a mental hospital psychologist was, like being in nursing
school, also very valuable. Not only did I learn how to diagnose, and evaluate the severity of mental illness and assess the
dangerousness of the mentally ill, I learned to understand them, to feel comfortable with them, and found that I was never afraid of
them. Fearlessness is a huge advantage. The mentally ill seem to have a heightened ability to spot fear in others. If they se nse that
you are afraid they frequently enjoy terrorizing you. When psychotic people know you feel comfortable with them, and probably
understand a great deal of what they are experiencing, when they know that you can and intend to control them, they experienc e a
huge sense of relief. I could always get mentally ill p eople to tell me what was really going on in their heads when no one else
could get them to communicate.
    A few years later I married an American and became the Mental Health Coordinator for Whatcom County, the northwestern
corner of Washington State. I  handled all the legal proceedings in the county for mentally ill people. After treatment in the state
mental hospital I supervised their reentry into the community, and attempted to provide some follow up. This work further
confirmed my conclusions that i n most cases the mentally ill weren't helped by conventional treatment. Most of them rapidly
became social problems after discharge. It seemed the mental hospital's only ethically defensible function was incarceration --
providing temporary relief for the fa mily and community from the mentally ill person's destructiveness.
    I did see a few people recover in the mental health system. Inevitably these were young, and had not yet become
institutionalized, a term describing someone who comes to like being in the hospital because confinement feels safe.
Hospitalization can mean three square meals and a bed. It frequently means an opportunity to have a sex life (many female inm ates
are highly promiscuous). Many psychotics are also criminal; the hospital seems fa r better to them than jail. Many chronically
mentally ill are also experts at manipulating the system. When homeless, they deliberately get hospitalized for some outrageo us
deed just before winter. They then "recover" when the fine weather of spring return s.
    After a year as Mental Health Co -ordinator, I had enough of the "system" and decided that it was as good a time as any to return
to school for a Ph.D., this time at University. of Oregon where I studied clinical and counseling psychology and geronto logy.
While in graduate school I became pregnant and had my first child. Not surprisingly, this experience profoundly changed my
consciousness. I realized that it had perhaps been all right for me to be somewhat irresponsible about my own nutrition and h ealth,
but that it was not okay to inflict poor nutrition on my unborn child. At that time I was addicted to salty, deep -fat fried corn chips
and a diet pop. I thought I had to have these so -called foods every day. I tended to eat for taste, in other words, what I liked, not
necessarily what would give me the best nutrition. I was also eating a lot of what most people would consider healthy food: m eat,
cheese, milk, whole grains, nuts, vegetables, and fruits.
    My constitution had seemed strong and vital e nough through my twenties to allow this level of dietary irresponsibility. During
my early 20s I had even recovered from a breast cancer by sheer will power. (I will discuss this later.) So before my pregnan cy I
had not questioned my eating habits.
    As my body changed and adapted itself to it's new purpose I began visiting the libraries and voraciously read everything
obtainable under the topic of nutrition --all the texts, current magazines, nutritional journals, and health newsletters. My childhood
habit of self -directed study paid off. I discovered alternative health magazines like Let's Live, Prevention, Organic Gardening, and
Best Ways, and promptly obtained every back issue since they were first published. Along the way I ran into articles by Linus
Pauling on vitamin C, and sent away for all of his books, one of these was co -authored with David Hawkins, called The
Orthomolecular Approach to Mental Disorders.
    This book had a profound effect on me. I instantly recognized that it was Truth with a ca pital "T", although the orthomolecular
approach was clearly in opposition to the established medical model and contradicted everything I had ever learned as a stude nt or
professional. Here at last was the exciting alternative approach to treating mental di sorders I had so long sought. I filed this
information away, waiting for an opportunity to use it. And I began to study all the references in The Orthomolecular Approac h to
Mental Disorders dealing with correcting the perceptual functioning of psychotic pe ople using natural substances.
    In the course of delving through libraries and book stores, I also came across the Mokelumne Hill Publishing Company (now
defunct). This obscure publisher reprinted many unusual and generally crudely reproduced out -of-print books about raw foods
diets, hygienic medicine, fruitarianism, fasting, breathairianism, plus some works discussing spiritual aspects of living tha t were
far more esoteric than I had ever thought existed. I decided that weird or not, I might as well fin d out everything potentially useful.
So I spent a lot of money ordering their books. Some of Mokelumne Hill's material really expanded my thoughts. Though much of
it seemed totally outrageous, in every book there usually was one line, one paragraph, or if I was lucky one whole chapter that rang
true for me.
    Recognizing capital "T" Truth when one sees it is one of the most important abilities a person can have. Unfortunately, every
aspect of our mass educational system attempts to invalidate this skill. Students are repeatedly told that derivation from recognized
authority and/or the scientific method are the only valid means to assess the validity of data. But there is another parallel  method to
determine the truth or falsehood of information: Knowing. W e Know by the simple method of looking at something and
recognizing its correctness. It is a spiritual ability. I believe we all have it. But in my case, I never lost the ability to  Know because
I almost never attended school.
    Thus it is that I am absolutely certain How and When to Be Your Own Doctor will be recognized as Truth by some of my
readers and rejected as unscientific, unsubstantiated, or anecdotal information by others. I accept this limitation on my abi lity to
teach. If what you read in the following pages seems True for you, great! If it doesn't, there is little or nothing I could do to further
convince.
    I return now to the time of my first pregnancy. In the face of all these new Truths I was discovering conc erning health and
nutrition, I made immediate changes in my diet. I severely reduced my animal protein intake and limited cooked food in genera l. I
began taking vitamin and mineral supplements. I also choose a highly atypical Ph.D. dissertation topic, "The  Orthomolecular
Treatment of Mental Disorders." This fifty cent word, orthomolecular, basically means readjusting the body chemistry by
providing unusually large amounts of specific nutrient substances normally found in the human body (vitamins and mineral s).
Orthomolecular therapy for mental disorders is supported by good diet, by removal of allergy -producing substances, by control of
hypoglycemia, plus counseling, and provision of a therapeutic environment.
    My proposed dissertation topic met with not hing but opposition. The professors on my doctoral committee had never heard of
the word orthomolecular, and all of them were certain it wasn't an accepted, traditional area of research. Research in academ ia is
supposed to be based on the works of a previo us researchers who arrived at hypothesis based on data obtained by strictly following
scientific


 nauseate and
disrupt me and would knock my blood count from near normal to complete disarray.
My mind indicated that they be discontinued, despite advice to the contrary.
I  have continued with Metabolic Medicine and on the complete lifestyle change
that holistic medicine demands for optimum health. I  have no problems with
leukemia since the initial remission was obtained.
I  know that when I  took the chemo maintenance, my body was disrupted. I  know
that when it was discontinued, I  continued to improve without the disruption of the
blood picture and the nausea.
Metabolic Medicine is so sensible, it is hard to see why anyone could dispute that
it has a place in the lives of the acutely ill. Nothing is perfect and nothing makes one
eternal, but in my case, I  am thankful for the opportunity for the benefits of this non
toxic therapy and the miracle it brought for me.
Some call my luck "spontaneous remission," maybe so, I  believe that Metabolic
Medicine makes for "spontaneous remissions" from the symptoms of terminal illness
in those whose bodies have not been abused beyond repair, whether by neglect or
over treatment.
Some call letters such as this "testimonials" instead of "case histories." For me, this
143
Winning The Cancer War
is a very brief history of my case for whatever value and hope it may give to others.
One last observation ought to be made. Some decry holistic therapy that of
"Hucksters" and "Quacks." Most practitioners of this art (and there are many medical
men in this kind of practice) are those who have had a terminal diagnosis for
themselves or loved ones and were disenchanted by the hopelessness and horror of
traditional therapies. I  have met many of the "Greats." None that I  know drive
Mercedes automobiles. All are healers and not moneymakers. The cost of a year of
holistic medicine for me does not exceed the cost of one week of treatment in any
good conventional cancer hospital.
I  enjoy my family, my practice and my life. I  am grateful for a therapy that has, thus
for, worked for me.
Dr. Kelley: "My dear friend Tom brings up a lot of wonderful memories and he
brings to mind the subject of soft tumor. Soft tumors, it should be emphasized, are an
entirely different condition from what we normally think of as cancer. What are soft
tumors? I  classify the leukemias, lymphomas, melanomas, tumors of the immune
system, and those of the blood system as soft tumors. It's very frightening that soft
tumors are becoming so prevalent in children. Before 1979, we find that the highest
cause of death in children was traumatic accidents, such as falling out of a tree or
running in front of a car. But since 1979, we find that the leading cause of death of
children under 16 is cancer. That is sad commentary on our society. Most of these
cancer deaths are from the soft tumors.
"Tom was a patient 62 years of age. A lot of people, as they get older, as their
immune systems malfunction, as their energies wane, as they become exhausted,
develop soft tumors. Tom was a professional person who had a hard, active life and
developed leukemia. It was very, very severe. In fact, so bad that he had started
collecting fluid in the abdomen, a condition that is always fatal. It was quite
rewarding to have a person with this condition so willing to give 100% attention and
effort to following Metabolic Medicine in such a severe, advanced disease. It is
always a joy to me to see a patient so conscientious and pure of heart in following the
program. In Tom's case we find that the side effects of the program — such side
effects as resuming his law practice and feeling terrific — were quite astounding
also."
Breast and Liver Cancer Testimonial
Rosswitha A. ~ Malaga, Spain
6-Year Victory Over Breast and Liver Cancer
144
Winning The Cancer War
At the time of writing this testimonial, Rosswitha had a 4-year victory over breast
and liver cancer. Nutritional Counseling Service heard from her in 1983 and she was
in excellent health and enthusiastic about the program.
In June 1976, I  discovered a lump on my left breast. My gynecologist sent me to
have a mammography done. The result was positive and he told me it was almost
certainly a malignant growth. I  went to a surgeon who examined me thoroughly and
had some more X-rays done. He found I  had an enlarged liver and said he would
have to do an exploratory operation before doing a mastectomy. After the operation,
he told me I  had cancer on the liver too and that there was no point in removing the
breast. He said he would give me two sessions of chemotherapy. I  decided (after two
weeks of pills and injections) to go to the University Clinic Hospital in Frankfurt,
Germany, where my parents live. The surgeon in Malaga, Spain, gave me a report to
take to Germany, which said I  had cancer of the breast with a massive growth on the
liver and another in the abdominal area.
I  had more examinations and a scan test in Frankfurt, and the surgeon there
confirmed the Spanish report and said the growth of the tumor was fist-size. He told
my husband and myself there was no cure and the most we could hope for was a
remission. He would not say how long a remission. He advised me to have a
mastectomy to remove the primary growth in the breast and to have the ovaries taken
out to change the hormone balance in the body, which would make the subsequent
chemotherapy treatment more effective.
We were given the impression that there was no time to lose and little alternative. I
decided to have the surgery and chemotherapy in the hope that it would give me a
remission and enough time to seek a cure elsewhere. By this time I  was feeling bad. I
was suffering, I  think, from the reactions of the chemotherapy in Spain. I  had an
infection in the bladder, which was painful. My hair was beginning to fall out. I  felt
weak and depressed. When I  returned to the hospital a few days later for the
operation, I  could hardly walk. I  was operated on July 28 and started chemotherapy
(injections) on September 1.
I  stayed in the hospital only three days after each chemotherapy treatment, and,
after the third session, the doctors began to comment on this, comparing me with the
other patients, who were on their backs for days after the treatments. I  suggested it
could be due to the diet I  was on. The moment I  learned I  had cancer I  had put
myself on a healthy diet, cut all the chemicalized foods, and made adjustments to it
when a friend in Germany gave a book on food for cancer patients. The doctors and
nurses seemed amused at this and said I  could eat anything I  wanted — it would
make no difference. I  continued with my diet.
There was a woman doctor in the chemotherapy ward who seemed more willing
145
Winning The Cancer War
than the others to discuss my problem with me and I  told her of my intention to seek
a cure and showed her a booklet on Dr. Nieper of Hanover. She had not heard of Dr.
Nieper or his treatment and told me I  was responding well to the chemotherapy and
should forget about any other kind of treatment until I  had completed the
chemotherapy sessions. I  couldn't forget about it, though, as I  was becoming more
convinced that chemotherapy was not going to give me the long remission I  had
hoped for and that I  had better look quickly for an alternative treatment.
When I  was told I  had cancer, my husband and myself did the contrary to what
many people do in this situation; we told everyone we knew about my problem,
hoping somebody could point us to a cure. My husband, publishing the English-
language magazine on the Costa de Sol (an international retirement center full of
informed people from all over the world), is in a good position to find out about
things, and, even before I  began chemotherapy in Frankfurt, we had gathered a lot of
information and were writing to a dozen doctors and clinics around Europe who were
using unorthodox treatments to cure cancer.
A friend gave us a copy of the Healthview Newsletter at this time, and the long
interview with Dr. Kelley in which he explained very clearly his theory and treatment,
gave me tremendous hope. Here was proof that cancer was being cured.
I  was given a break in the chemotherapy treatment and returned to our home in
Spain towards the end of November 1976. The chemotherapy was taking its toll and I
felt I  was going downhill. I  was bald, often depressed, very weak and in pain. Until
then, even during the worst moments, I  believed I  would somehow fight my way back
to good health. When I  read somewhere that only one in ten thousand survived
chemotherapy, I  assumed I  was going to be the one in ten thousand. Now I  wasn't so
sure, and was so weak I  felt I'd had enough and couldn't go on. The cramps in my
stomach became unbearable and we called in a local doctor


 nothing is more important than anything
else…. Thus a man of knowledge sweats and puffs and if one
looks at him he is just like any ordinary man, except that the
folly of his life is under control. Nothing being more important
than anything else, a man of knowledge chooses any act, and
acts it out as if it mattered to him. His controlled folly makes
him say that what he does matters and makes him act as if it
did, and yet he knows that it doesn’t; so when he fulfills his
acts he retreats in peace, and whether his acts were good or
bad, or worked or didn’t, is in no way any part of his concern*
• Replace the sentence “It isn’t fair” with “It’s unfortunate,” or
“I’d prefer…” Thus, instead of insisting that the world be other than
it is, you begin to accept reality—but not necessarily to approve of
it.
• Eliminate external references of comparison. Have your own
goals independent of what Tom, Dick or Harry do. Set out to be
what you want, without references to what others have or don’t
have.
• Correct yourself out loud when you use a sentence such as, “I
always call you when I’m going to be late, so why didn’t you call
me?” to “I would have felt better if you had called me.” Thus you
eliminate the erroneous notion that another’s reason for calling is
to become more like you.
• Rather than paying someone off, by bringing wine or a gift in
exchange for dinner or a party, wait until you feel like it and
*Carlos Castaneda, A Separate Reality: Further Conversations with Don Juan  (New
York: Pocket Books, 1972).174 / Your Erroneous Zonesthen send a bottle of wine with a note saying, “Just because I think
you’re a great person.” There’s no need to balance the books with
reciprocal trades; just do something nice because you, rather than a
special occasion, call for it.
• Spend the amount of money you want to on any gift, and don’t
be swayed by what was spent for you. Eliminate invitations based
on obligation and fairness. Decide whom you’ll see on an internal
rather than external standard.
• Set up your own standards of conduct in your family based
upon what you think is appropriate for you. Have everyone else do
the same. Then see if it isn’t quite possible to make it happen without
infringing on each other’s rights. If you feel that being out three
nights a week is what you want, but can’t because someone has to
watch the children, “fairness” doesn’t have to enter into your de-
cision-making. Perhaps you make some kind of baby-sitting arrange-
ment, or have the kids go along, or whatever will be a mutually
satisfying settlement. But to bring in the “It isn’t fair” routine will
surely lead to everyone’s resentment—and to staying at home as
well. Be a doer, not a complainer about injustice. For every injustice
you suffer, there is a resolution that does not require you to be im-
mobilized in any way.
• Remember that revenge is just another way of being controlled
by others. Do what you, not they, decide is for you.
These are just a few beginning suggestions that will help you to
be happier by ridding yourself of the need to compare yourself with
others and to use their status as a barometer of your own happiness.
It’s not the injustice that counts, it’s what you do about it.THE JUSTICE TRAP  / 175IX
PUTTING AN END TO
PROCRASTINATION—NOW
It takes not one drop of sweat
to put off doing anything.
A re you a procrastinator? If you’re like most people, the answer
to that is yes. But chances are that you’d rather not live with all that
anxiety that accompanies putting things off as a way of life. You
may find yourself postponing many tasks that you want to accom-
plish, and yet for some reason you just keep suspending action. This
procrastination business is a mighty tiresome facet of life. If you’ve
got a bad case, hardly a day goes by that you don’t say, “I know I
should be doing it, but I’ll get around to it later.” Your “putting it
off” erroneous zone is difficult to blame on outside forces. It’s all
yours—both the putting off and the discomfort you endure as a
result of it.
Procrastination is the closest there is to a universal erroneous zone.
Very few people can honestly say that they are not procrastinators,
despite the fact that it is unhealthy in the long run. As in all erro-
neous zones, there is nothing unhealthy about the
176behavior itself. Putting it off, in fact, doesn’t even exist. You simply
do, and those things you don’t do, in reality, are just undone, rather
than postponed. It is only the accompanying emotional reaction and
immobilization that represent neurotic behavior. If you feel that you
put things off, and like it, with no attending guilt, anxiety or upset,
then by all means hang onto it, and pass over this chapter. However,
for most people procrastination is really an escape from living
present moments as fully as possible.
Hoping, Wishing and Maybe
Three neurotic phrases of the procrastinator make up the support
system for maintaining putting-it-off behavior.
“I hope things will work out.”
“I wish things were better.”
“Maybe it’ll be okay.”
There you have the deferrer’s delight. As long as you say maybe, or
hope, or wish, you can use these as a rationale for not doing anything
now. All wishing and hoping are a waste of time—the folly of
fairyland residents. No amount of either ever got anything accom-
plished. They are merely convenient escape clauses from rolling up
your sleeves and taking on the tasks that you’ve decided are import-
ant enough to be on your list of life activities.
You can do anything that you set your mind to accomplish. You
are strong, capable and not the least bit brittle. But by putting things
off for a future moment, you are giving into escapism, self-doubt,
and most significantly, self-delusion. Your putting it off zone is a
movement away from being strong in your now, and toward the
direction of hoping that things will improve in the future.PUTTING AN END TO PROCRASTINATION—NOW  / 177Inertia as a Strategy for Living
Here is a sentence that can keep you inert, in your present mo-
ments: “I’ll wait, and it’ll get better.” For some this becomes a way
of life—they are always putting it off for a day that can never arrive.
Mark, a recent client of mine, came to me complaining about his
unhappy marriage. Mark was in his fifties and had been married
for almost thirty years. As we began to talk about his marriage, it
became clear that Mark’s complaints were long-standing. “It’s never
been any good, even from the beginning,” he said at one point. I
asked Mark what had made him hold on for all these years of misery.
“I kept hoping things would get better,” he confessed. Almost thirty
years of hope and Mark and his wife were still miserable.
As we talked more about Mark’s life and marriage, he admitted
to a history of impotence that went back at least a decade. Had he
ever sought help for this problem, I asked. No, he had merely
avoided sex more and more and hoped that the problem would go
away on its own. “I was sure things would get better,” Mark echoed
his original comment.
Mark and his marriage were a classic case of inertia. He avoided
his problems and justified his avoidance by saying, “If I wait and
do nothing, maybe it’ll work itself out.” But Mark learned that things
never work themselves out. They remain precisely as they are. At
best, things change, but they don’t get better. Things themselves
(circumstances, situations, events, people) will not improve alone.
If your life is better, it is because you have done something construct-
ive to make it better.
Let’s take a closer look at this procrastination behavior and how
to eliminate it with some rather simple resolutions. This is one zone
that you can clean up without a lot of hard “mental work,” since it
is one that you alone have created for yourself, without any of the
cultural reinforcement that is the hallmark of so many other erro-
neous zones.178 / Your Erroneous ZonesHow Procrastination Works
Donald Marquis called procrastination “the art of keeping up with
yesterday.” To this I would add, “and avoiding today.” This is how
it works. You know there are certain things that you want to do, not
because others have so dictated, but because they are your deliberate
choices. However, many of them never get done, despite your telling
yourself that they will. Resolving to do something in the future
which you could do now is an acceptable substitute for doing it, and
permits you to delude yourself that you are really not compromising
yourself by not doing what you have set out to do. It’s a handy sys-
tem that works something like this. “I know I must do that, but I’m
really afraid that I might not do it well, or I won’t like doing it


 and out. Now she can walk about without any
. support. She can even work with her hands, She has continued her
practice of the invaluable remedy shivambu, i.e auto-urine therapy.
2. leg-bone Fracture : Miss Hemlata Hegishte stays in
Ahmedabad, She is 56 years old. She is well known social worker of
Guja:rat. She has so far adorned chairmanship or secretaryship of
severaLgovernment or national organisations working in the field of
women's welfare. She got her cramped legs relieved with urine
massage. She w.r:ote in reply to my request the following report of her
experiment:
-EDITOR
"On january 26, 1956 in a car accident both my leg-bones were
fractured. There was a compound fracture about an inch below the
right knee. The left also had similar but ~imple one. Both th~ legs
from thighs to soles were in plaster.
After five weeks, plaster was removed, both the legs were found
to be utterly, immobile. They could not be folded even at a slight
angle. The knees pained with the slightest attempt at movement.
238 BONE COMPlAINTS : 239
Doctors opined that the fractures being at the knees it was difficult
to get the legs moving. Left leg could as best move a little beyond
90°, and the right could be even less mobile..
Several visitors would corne to inquireafter my health and would
suggest remedies. Many we're adopted; two of which were
prominent. First, to give steambath to both the legs in the mori1ing
and in the evening. The other, suggested by a well-wishing high
official, was to have auto-urine treatment. He assured with emphasis
that with urine massage both of my legs would be fully mobile~
I, therefore, started massaging with urine (kept ~vernight) for
fifteen minutes daily in the morning; and after about is minutes 1
woufd bathe. As I was frightened with doctor's opinion I followed
the treatment with firm faith. Had any defect remained in the legs. I
would have been inv~lid to do my daily chores. But I am pleased to
report that after 21 days of urine massage the legs. could move
freely. I can sit with folded legs and my heel can touch my thighs.
Even doctors were much surprised to are my recovery. I wish others
also are benefited with my experience."
3. Fracture of Leg-bone : Shri Ravi jain is a clerk in the Punjab
National Bank, Civil Lines, Ludhiana. He is godfearing and upright
and takes keen interest in social work. I met him on 14-3-75. I was
informed of his tale of woe about a fracture in his right leg. Despite
foreboding on October 19, 1974 he travelled on a motorcycle with
his friend and at 8 P.M. met with an accident as they were knocked
down by a car that followed. The bones two inches above the ankle
were fractured and his right elbow also got injurd. He was at once
removed to Chandigarh hospital. He right leg was placed in plaster
after operation. For ten days he was in the hospital. In the same
place two elbows injury was healed with application of auto-urine
within one weak.
When after 98 days the plaster was removed there were sores on
the leg and it was swollen and immobile. At the suggestion of his
guru Shri Jagdish Mishra he started massaging the leg ·with three-240 : AUTO-URINE THERAPY
month -old urine for twenty minutes daily. Within six weeks he had
75 % recovery -wounds were healed subsided, leg became flexible
and within further two weeks the leg was freely movable. It was
further cleaned and on guru's advice he began drinking urine from
february 1975. This gave his body activeness -and his movement
speed. He can move about the house with crutches.
He w'tites in his letter of 17-6-1975. "I have now stopped going
in a rickshaw to my Bank. I take a city bus to work and on return I
walk_home. My movements also are faster now and the swelling too
has considerably reduced."
When once he visited Ranian (Dist. Sirsa, Hariyana) for his
brother's wedding he found Shri Naginchandr• }ain walking on
cratches. On inquiry he found that his whole body has swollen due
to defect of the nerves. He could sit or get up with great difficulty.
Doctors had declared him as living on borrowed time. Fortunately.
he came across a Jain Monk t.-ho inspired him to adopt urine
treatment. He started massaging his whole body with his urine, and
within a few days regained the last strangth of stirring about. Once
he had even a fracture which he cured with wine packs. This
therapy alan~ could being him back from the jews of death.
CHAPTER XVII
SOME VIEWS
Experiences ~f Dr. Arjun iingh
Dr. Arjun Sin'g!z is a retired!iub-assistant surgeon of the Punjab
and resides in Ajm~ He is 83 years old. From his experience he
believes, allopathy i.s ~ suppressive method of treatment. Again
allopathic medicineli o n give ri»e to new complaints. To know his
reaction to urine therap I r:net him ()n 12-4-1975..
1. He was suffering from asthma since 1946, heart disease since
1948, eye trouble since 1955, for year!! pain in knees and shoulders SOME VIEWS : 241
and pyorrhea. Attending to all these comp.laints. with_ we~tem
mecicines he was frustrating. Homoepath Dr. M. 1<. tnadan1 adv1ced
him about urine therapy and he proposed to try it.
From 9-9-1973 he began drinking his utine twice or thrice daily
and applying twice to the eyes also. He could not massage with
urine but he· followed the dietetic restrictions. Gradually all-the
complaints were cured. Within a year and a half some of them were
completely cured. Asthma was cured ~0%. He used to have beat
attacks tWice or thrice a month. Nttw they came once in five or six
months. The white leucodermic: spot on 1he tip of his nose has
contracted to a very small size. Soles of feet do not chop of crack.
His heavi·ness has also decreased by about 12 lbs, body became
lighter and hance more active.
His grand-daughter Tandeep Kaur is of 13 years. She was a
victim of colitis in 1973. For two months she took western
medicines and injections but th~re was no relief. At last for 15-20
da}:S daily twice of thrice urine-drinking restored her to her normal
health.
Her niece Manmohan Kaur got her hand scalded with. her tea.
Applying. urine twice or thrice at night to the affected part cured it
COI\lpletely. It did not leave even a sign.
-EDITOR
2. Shri vijay Kumar Gupta's experience: Shri Vijay Kumar Gupta
(Raipura Road; Civil Lines, Ludhiana) is an elderly advocate of the
punjab High Court and the Supreme Court of India. He is ever eag~r
to help.his fellowmen. I met him on 15-3-1975 to know h1s
observations from years of urine treatment he gave to several
patients. From his narration I found that he follows Shri Raojibhlai
Mar>~ibhai Patel devotedly. He writes on 17 -5·1975 :
"From September 1945. I hav~ been taking active interest and
h?ving faith.in Nature Cure. t haw~ cured many patieRts by this
treatment. Hariyana's Chief r:lectrical Engineer, Shri H. G. Divan,
told me that Dr. Poddar of the Nature Cure Ashram, Jasidih (Bihar) 242 : AUTO-URINE THERAPY
applies to those who agree the treatment of urine therapy. I broke
into laughter and said it is next to impossible to drink urine.
In 1972 vacation I went to Jasidih and stayed in the Nature Cure
Ashram for 20 days. Shri Poddar gave me a book on urine therapy,
which made me believe in its proposition. In order to dispel the
inhibition to drinking of urine. and thereby save hundreds from the
diseases, I resolved to drink urine next morning. ·With distaste and
yet prayerful devotion in a morning of the last week of August in
1972. I took my own urine for the first time. It proved natural and
very useful. I was being preyed upon by ulcer in the stomach.
Doctor stated th<,rt the cause of this was overwork and tension in the
family. But from my nat


drugs or with the knife, and
if the patients die, so much the worse for their relatives, whilst the
doctor is credited with having done his best  with a hopeless  case. One
may  perhaps argue  that a layman who has found an efficacious  cure  for 127
 diseases should qualify himself  to be an orthodox doctor, at least in
name if not in fact.  But how can a man  with any pretentions  to
uprightness  bring himself  to study a system of medicine in which  he
does not believe, and which  he regards as a menace  to his health? And
for what? Merely that he should be able to diagnose a given number  of
diseases and  call them by polysyllabic  names? And supposing,  as with
urine‐therapy,  the name of the disease has nothing to do with the
selection  of the treatment?  What then? Indeed,  the necessity for a
correct diagnosis  before a line of treatment  can be decided upon, is one
of the drawbacks  and limitations  of allopathy.  For example, if a woman
has a growth  in her breast, the first thing a doctor wants  to determine
is whether it is malignant  or "benign."  But with urine‐therapy such  a
question  is not of the least importance,  since, as we have witnessed,
the treatment  for all diseases is virtually the same procedure,  seeing
that in the patient lies the "magic fluid" to cure  his or her ills, and  the
only prerequisite  is to refrain from food  (like the animals) so as to give
Nature  her chance to do the work. And she will do it in her own way
provided she is not interfered  with.  This I have observed  again and
again with regard to the movement  of the bowels  during a urine‐fast
plus plain cold water. Whereas t he "orthodox  " naturopath  thinks  it
necessary  to assist the bowels with enemata  during a fast on cold water
alone or on fruit juices (a mistaken policy) on no account  should such
measures  "be resorted to during a urine‐fast, for Nature  must be left to
determine  when the bowels  shall move. What we have to remember  is
that in fasting, urine, taken via the mouth heals, rebuilds and  re‐
conditions  the vital  organs including the intestines,  and  while this
process is taking place, often  the bowels  seem,  as it were, to go to
sleep and  relapse into a state  of inactivity,  which  in severe cases may 128
 even last as long as 19 days. Yet this  inactivity is an advantage,
especially  to sufferers from haemorrhoids,  as it gives the latter  a
chance  to heal.  Thus, Nature,  if left alone does her work in her own way
if we only have the faith to trust her, even though at first  we may  not
understand  her mysteries.  Verily, Nature's ways are not our ways, and
She defies and  contradicts  every superstition  and orthodox tenet,
practice and belief!

 129

    130

AFTERWORD.
WHITHER  MEDICINE?

As I remarked  elsewhere,  he who makes a useful discovery  has a duty
to fulfil, it is to give that discovery  to the world. Even so, he may have a
further  duty‐and that is to warn the world  against what he has found to
be harmful. Both "big‐wigs"  and smaller  "wigs" in the  Medical
Profession  itself have done this at meetings of the fraternity  and  in
journals and  books  which  the public at large  do not read. Occasionally,
however,  a doctor or surgeon writes a book which  is not intended
exclusively  for the Profession.  One such book which contained  many
“home truths” is Man  the Unknown,  by Alexis  Carrel of U.S.A.
We not only live in an age when serums and  vaccines have become a
very lucrative fashion‐lucrative to their manufacturers  and  vendors‐but
we also live in an age of specialism  despite the warnings of many
physicians  themselves  about its dangers.  Wrote  Dr. Carrel: " Much
harm is caused by the extreme specialisation  of the physicians.  When a
specialist from the beginning  of his career confines himself  to a minute
part of the body, hu knowledge  of the rest is so rudimentary  that he is
incapable  of thoroughly  understanding  that part in which  he specialises.
" Again, Dr. K. T. Morris wrote: " The patient who goes to a specialist on
his or her own resposibility ...is jumping from the frying‐pan in to the
fire." (See Fifty Years a Surgeon.)  Dr. W. H. Hay of the "Hay  Diet  " fame
may  also be cited.  Relative to specialists,  he says: "Each sees the thing
he most  wishes to see in the patient, finds the thing he has been taught 131
 to ind, and unless superhuman  this  is wholly to be expected.  " (See  a
New  Era of Health.) Nor are warnings against specialism  confined to the
Western continents.  In "an article,  Dr. B. Bhattacharyya  of Baroda, India,
after maintaining  that specialists  as a class  had  becorulcc  a menace  to
public health, went on to say:"  To set a specialist  and  study him in
relation to the special  organ in which  he specialises


it. Imag ine being a mathematician who never wanted to practice with
equations or an auto mechanic who didn’ t get under the hoods of cars. Imagine a bricklayer who could n’t stand mortar and bricks; you would
laugh! In the same way, as humans, we need to awaken by relating to
and looking at our relationships with people. “Have no expectations” is the way of allowing things to be exactly
as they are. It takes a lot of clearing the filter of consciousness  to come
to that state of mind. I performed a wedding where the couple’ s vow was
“I love you now,” which I thought was a wonderful vow. They were very
mindful of the trap of future expectations. They wanted to allow the
relationship to be used by the Holy Spirit for holiness, to clear the mind
of any subtle expectations. For me, the most helpful answer from A Course in Miracles  came
when I was guided to leave a relationship. I had a tremendous amount of
hurt and pain around the idea of leaving. I was facing fear of
abandonment. I had the Course  in my hand, and I prayed to the Holy
Spirit, “Please, you must answer me before I can do this.” I then opened
the book  to the section on relationships in the Manual for Teachers. My
eyes went straight to a sente nce that said, “Each teaching-learning
situation is maximal in the sense that each person involved will learn the
most that he can from the other person at that time.” Suddenly, my heart
lifted. I felt that the Holy Spirit was saying, “It’s okay; you and your
partner learned as much as you could learn in that relationship.”  He was
saying, “Job well done. You did a very good job, and I will be with you
in your next relationship.” This gave me the permission to go on and
take the next step. As you move toward holy relationships, the ego will come at you
pretty strongly to try to break your turn toward healing. It will try to
sabotage and abort the mission of healing by intensifying the mirroring. But that’s where I encourage you to just hang in there and ask for Spirit’ s
help. The breakthrough will be in overcoming the ego’s attemp t and the
longing to objectify and localize love and its attempt to shrink it from the
vastness that it is. Overcoming this obstacle is the undoing of the special
love relationship and the transition into holy relationship.Giving your relationships a holy purpose is the means to reaching
the trans cendent perspective that looks upon bodies much like dancing
leaves in the wind on a fall day. With a little wind blowing the leaves
around, you notice with detachment all the colors. You’re not saying,
“Red, orange, brown, green.” You’re watching the swirl from a place of
complete nonjudgment. And that’s what holy relationship is. As you go
about your daily relationships, be alert to temptations to:
desire perfection in another ’s behavior
blame and emphasize flaws and inconsistencies, either aloud or
silently
make comparisons
want to be right at the expense of your brother or sister ’s
innocence. When you join with another in the purpose of healing the mind, you
find love. Practice turning your attention to:
examining ego thoughts and patterns within your own mind, so
that they can be seen and healed
allowing your relationships to show you what needs to be healed
within your own mind
looking beyond form and behaviors in your relationships
releasing judgments and comparisons
practicing defenselessness in your communications
having peace as your goal in your joining with others and the
world
seeing the gift in practicing the above!Exercise: Undoing Specialness
The following exercise aims at helping you become more aware of
your part in building obstacle s and issues in a relationshi p. It will
help you see that you can change your experience with a
relationship solely by looking  at your own mind, and not hiding
and protecting, but lifting reactions, judgments, and hidden
opinions to the Holy Spirit. Part 1:  Observe Y our Patterns in Relationship
You are now going to identify what obstacles are in the way of
your experience of holy relationship. Let the following questions
draw out some of your past and present relationship experiences. Let a relationship come to mind in which you are seeking
something from another. Go inward and journal what comes to
mind as you answer each question. 1. What specifically are you seeking? 2. Can you see whether this pursuit is based upon a belief in
lack of some kind? 3. Looking back over your life, do you notice any patterns,
repeating circu mstances, or persistent feelings, such as
being respons ible; feeling needy, dependent, rejected, or
letdown; or taking control or being controlled? 4. What beliefs do you feel might be underneath these
patterns? For example, if you’ve felt either dependent or
controlling in your relationsh ips, is there a belief that you
are helpless? 5. Can you begin to see how you are projecting your belie fs
onto the other (for example “You aren’t good enough”)
when, really, it is a belief you hold about yourself (“I’m not
good enough”)?6. What do you believe you could gain or lose through the
relationship? Observe your thoughts and beliefs. 7. How would you feel and what do you think your life would
be like without those thoughts and beliefs? Take a breath and for the next few minutes, in prayer, direct
your mind toward dropping these thoughts and beliefs. Having
seen the thoughts and belie fs that led you to feel a sense of
separation, offer them to the Holy Spirit. Now, ask for help to see
your friend differently. Each of these thoughts stems from the
belief that you and they are different, and that what you see and
do not like about them is what you do not like about yourself. They
save you from the disturbance you feel in your heart, the
disturbance that was a result of withholding your love from them. Your grievance  against them is now replaced with awareness and
freedom. Rest within the spaciousness this release brings. Feel
free to write or share about your experience to strengthen it in
awareness. When egoic patterns are seen and recognized, you can
easily spot them as they recur, and you can choose again. It’s the
first step toward knowing an intimacy that is not of personhood but
of the Spirit within. “The Holy Spirit’ s temple is not a body, but a relationship.”
The Blessings of Relationship
As you pivot toward healing through your relationships, you will feel
grateful for the gifts they are offering. It’s when you get to the point
where you feel that you’re not attacking or blaming another anymore
that you know you have matured spiritually. It means your consciousness
has expa nded toward understan ding that all that seems to be happening
outside you actually stems from your own mind. Even in your difficult
relationships, you see there are valuable lessons to learn. So, you can
start to honestly ask what each relationship is showing you about yourmind. And once  you can see the patterns and beliefs a relationship is
mirroring, then you will see the blessing and its healing potential. We are never meant to be depen dent on a relationship, but rather  we
are meant to find the Holy Spirit in it because, really, we all share the
same purpose: to wake up. Little by little, we feel more fulfilled from
this practice, fulfilled from within, and our motive for relationships turns
around from trying to get things  from another to seeing an opportunity to
give and collaborate whereby everyone benefits! When you are ready for this renewed purpose, you will start to
move from the familiar and special relationships of the world to healed
and holy relation ships. The ego will still seem to come at you, but that’s
when Spirit is always available to help and says, “You’ve come this far;
stay with your faith. I am with you.” Your prayer to the Holy Spirit
becomes, “I let Y our vision take the place of my perception, which is just
a presentation of the past, appearing once again as if it’ s still occurring.”
This makes way for a new vision of love that will allow you to meet
with someone anew, as if for the very first time without your beliefs
from the past being projected onto them. The miracle of relationship is a journey from specialness to
holiness; from exclusivity to experiences of inclusion; and from
separation, fear, and loneliness to true joining, love, and joy. It is an
awakening, a shift in perception from separate interests of “me,” “mine,”
and “what’s in it for me,” to a shared interest, purpose, and goal. This is
how you are blessed; the more love that you let pour through  you, the
more aware you will be of how powerful that love is, and your
relationships will flourish and expand. It’s therefore beneficial to stay open and honor the relationships that
come your way however they might look initially. And, as you learn to
use them in truly helpful ways, they will allow you to heal, let go of
specialness, and lead you back to God.Chapter 11
From People Pleasing to True Empathy
Special relationships always entail compromise and sacrif ice. The
compromise comes in because of the fear of “rocking the boat.” There is
belief