body
stringlengths 51
39.8k
| subreddit
stringclasses 5
values |
|---|---|
TW: talk of abusive and sexual assault.
My first set of trauma was abuse from the ages 0-4. My dad was very abusive. His friends took advantage of me. He threatened my life daily. Ended up being gaslighted and sexually harassed from 6-17
I have always been in ptsd chatrooms and communities. But I haven’t met someone who was born into abuse. I know others have. I know people have had it worse or it never got better. And i wish no one had to go through that similar of a situation but most people who talk about ptsd have a before. A sense of self before the trauma. I don’t and sometimes feel really alone because of it. Disconnected.
|
ptsd
|
I am posting because I am searching for an online service that can screen me for ADHD and possibly prescribe be medication as well. Are these legit? Or are they money pits? I am willing to pay cash out of pocket as I do not have insurance, but only if I actually stand a chance of being helped at all.
Thank you in advance for your assistance and advice. Please feel free to provide alternative means or advice as well.
|
ADHD
|
Like every class I find is upwards of $2,000-$8,000 to get accredited as an adhd coach. But the accreditation isn't like actually legal in any way. I could litterally call myself an adhd coach right now.
I think coaching would be a great career path but I'm very hesitant to spend so much of my savings on something that isn't like.. Idk.. taking place at a real accredited college I guess? With classes that could potentially transfer elsewhere if I change my mind amd try to go for something else.
I figured maybe there could be more insight here.
|
ADHD
|
I was diagnosed at 32, but looking back i think i had mild ocd since childhood with periods when it flares up
|
OCD
|
I just want to express my gratitude to this sub and members. It has gotten me through some rough times. Still fighting through some pain but I just want to say thank you and I hope you all have a wonderful day and rest of the year!
|
depression
|
know I should talk to my therapist about this but was wondering if anyone is dealing with this as well. How do you manage these attacks at night? I know there's nothing for me to be afraid of anymore but I still wake myself in panic mode. Anyone have good self soothing techniques? Thank you so much
|
ptsd
|
I either don’t take my medication and can’t get anything done, can’t have genuine interaction (or remember it or the subject 2 minutes later), constant scatterbrain thinking of 50 things at once, repeating anxious thoughts, anger issues and song lyrics constantly in the background.
Or I take my medication and I feel numb and empty, constant mood swings, and because my meds make me a somewhat functioning human I can stay on one thought for a while which just makes me fixate on massive personal anxieties.
Just seems like a lose lose.
|
ADHD
|
We are a ND family and are struggling with conflicting triggers/stims. We are in the process of having our 4 year old assessed for ASD but have had no luck getting an appointment anywhere (assessments in NB seem to be impossible to get ugh). I am self diagnosed ASD (official diagnosis is too expensive for us at the moment for the little benefit it may provide me) and in the process of ADHD assessment. My husband identifies as self diagnosed autistic at the moment as he can't find anyone available that does adult assessments.
The biggest conflict we have is our 4 year old does a lot of verbal stimming (high pitched screams/meows) and my husband is very sensitive to auditory stimulation. This means that by the middle of the afternoon (my husband is working from home at the moment) my husbands nerves are frayed and he ends up melting down. It's getting progressively worse. I've mentioned ear plugs (like musician ones that still let sound in but dampen the volume) as an option but he doesn't seem to like the idea. I don't want to make our son feel awful for the natural behaviour of stimming but we are getting complaints from our neighbours as well.
To be clear I do NOT support any ABA type approaches. I want him to be comfortable stimming as it is so important for self regulation and expression but this one in particular is having very negative effects on our family dynamic, housing situation and my husbands mental health. The high pitch gets to me as well but I am not as sensitive as my husband so I can keep my composure whereas my husband ends up either yelling or hitting himself to block it out which is then followed by intense guilt and awful thoughts (he's told me this, I am not making assumptions here).
I'm not really sure what I am asking, I guess I am just hoping that some others may be able to relate or provide some advice on how to address the situation going forward. I want to make a list of when the stim happens to figure out what the triggers the high pitched scream meows (ADHD brain is not having that though, I can't seem to maintain the list). Then maybe find an alternative that will still fulfill the need our child has in that moment? That feels icky though. At the moment the way we've addressed it is to tell him that if he feels the need to scream he should go to his room where we can't hear it. That's not a good option though as he does not like being by himself and even if he did his room shares a wall with our neighbour. Feel stuck between the two of them (my child and husband) and unable to help either. I'm on the edge of burnout as well which is not helping.
|
aspergers
|
Hi, I somehow struggle to socialize properly. I moved to the Netherlands 2 months ago and while I met a lot of very nice people, I somehow feel like I dont belong to any group really. It's not the first time this happened, I'm pretty good in making contact and stuff, but anything after that is just so difficult, and more often than not I feel like the 5th wheel when we're hanging out with the group. Any tips on how to change that?
|
ADHD
|
So I’m going to the dentist tomorrow and I was watching friends and this episode where Phoebe can’t go to the dentist because when she does someone dies started playing. And now I’m basically convinced someone is going to die tomorrow when I go to the dentist and that this was some sort of “sign” and now I’m stuck in a loop of mental compulsions. Nice, thanks a lot brain.
|
OCD
|
So, a few years ago I didn't really have much I felt proud or confident sharing on social media. I was embarrassed to share things due to being a broke, depressed NEET. I then started to infodump about my special interests and start debates and discussions about communities. However it was highly political, and I ended up involved in communities I wasn't really in agreement with or at ease with. It was also very stressful and completely against my introverted nature with autism and social anxiety. Eventually, I held boundaries on the sketchy people, I dropped these particular discussions, distanced myself from some of the more toxic friends/acquaintances, and found a new (related, less political) special interest. Unfortunately, I now fear being
a) judged for my history by people (tbf, this already happens)
b) ignored because nobody likes the new special interest (reliving feelings of being a broke depressed NEET; it's hardly like my life did a 180)
c) abandoned by old friends who I made while rejecting the old one, if I say something they don't like
I find myself going in loops back to: a) self deprecation or b) justifying (compulsively, which might be my OCD flaring up) why I have moved on from the old communities/debates, which makes things even \*more\* awkward.
Then this past month, my friend started to try and tough-love me about my various dysfunctions, which while it's started to work, didn't work at the time but just made me think info-dumping was selfish, I should only share things people are interested in.
I don't know how to get out of this loop of self-consciousness and avoidance. I'm so close to asking permission to do it, and I'm like "wtf! This is \*your\* feed"
|
aspergers
|
I always had and still have physical compulsions, which recently are not severe and do not make living debilitating at all. My pure mental obsessions usually come in episodes tho, i just had one, it was hell, i was feeling so hurt over my brain telling me that i actually dont like this person i like, and that im lying to myself, and then i started getting thoughts about maybe not having ocd, and then that made me think that maybe if im more concerned about wether or not i have ocd, rather than about my actual obsession, maybe i dont have ocd, or makes me "less-ocd".... a mess.... not replaying or checking can be really hard.
|
OCD
|
Hey Ik you're going through stuff rn too but I don't have anyone to talk to anymore im completely alone and have no outlet to these feelings that's killing me inside, so I just need somewhere to write this down otherwise I may actually explode and hurt myself or do something I don't want to. You don't have to read it.
These past 2-3 weeks have absolutely been the worst in my life I thought I hit rock bottom I was dead wrong in this new country every thing has just gotten so much worse, the platoon leader for this mission was changed and everything is going to shit not to mention living in buildings that making me sick. everyone is arguing with each other and I'm getting called out constantly and made fun of for my mental health for trying to see a therapist back in the last base I still get called racist remarks daily while also being called retard by grown ass adults.
so all I can do is put on a fake smile and go on auto pilot Bc no one gives a shit I even been working overtime and put on extra assignments Bc why tf not make the person who’s been self harming do more work and punish them. But I can't do anything about it so after work at night I take walks to a place no one will bother me and just cry and break down I've done this shit every day since I got here.
And Since the girl I love is also having a hard time too I tried to just hide what I'm feeling these problems and focus on her and do my best to help Bc I care for her and rather her be happy instead of me, shes been out of it lately but I still try my best to say Atleast good morning and good night and try not to overthink even tho I definitely have it drives me crazy.
but it made me realize how alone I really am. I think I used to have a person or 2 that's not her I could rely on but they're gone forever now. Having no one to check up on you or ask how you're doing really makes me cry realizing I'm probably not anyone's number 1 or have anyone to rely on It just weighs on my chest so heavy i might suffocate under it. I try to read on posts on this sub but I can't relate to anyone I feel like my situation no one else can relate and I'm the only one who's going through this.
I haven't been eating or going to the gym either since I got here I think I've ate only a bowl a rice a day and that's it and I just waste my free time laying in bed dreaming Bc anything else is better than being awake stuck in Here.
yesterday we were out in a convoy coming back to bass and we actually got shot at if the glass didn't stop those bullets they would've hit me I really wish they did and put a end to my existence Ngl I'm so tired of feeling this way the pain in my chest is too much and the anxiety makes me wanna throw up. everything is so overwhelming and I can't handle it. Im not strong im weak. I need a way out but there's not many options when I don't have resources as I would in the states.
|
depression
|
My depressive episodes have been going in. a cycle for about 2 years. I'll be restricting my food, or ignoring my friends, or just being lackluster in general for a month or 2-month span. Then after that, I become "normal" for another 2-3 months. I'm not sure if this is normal or something a lot more serious?
|
depression
|
Maybe I’ve watched way too many movies, but I often find myself working on deadlines like a character in an action movie who’s trying to dismantle a bomb or get an antidote to a poisoned ally or unlock a door before something dangerous happens and is just down to the wire or the countdown goes to one second by the time they finally get it done, maximising the dramatic tension for the audience and (presumably) the stress levels for said character(s).
This is the feeling I get when I have deadlines to meet, and like always I put it off until the last second (sometimes past the last second, though I can usually get an extension if I’m able). Maybe it’s just me trying to rationalise my issues, but I do feel satisfied when I look back on my work or when the assessment comes in telling me that I’ve done reasonably well.
I don’t exactly know where I’m going with this, but I’m curious to know if other movie-lovers in this community think of it the same way?
|
ADHD
|
I'm not a survivor of anything. The only near death experience I've had was a car crash I don't have trauma from. my trauma is playing house with other little girls as a child but taking it too far (i.e. touching each other in weird places) and exposure to the idea of --TRIGGER WARNING rape and sexual assault-- as a child.
I was also physically hit for punishment and stuff but it wasn't really to the point of leaving marks other than a few times.
is this enough to have ptsd? Idk
|
ptsd
|
I'm diagnosed with add, but I also have a lot of asd symptoms, most well masked (some said me that hi IQ helps for masking). But when I did some research, a lot of them are also rare secondary symptoms of add.
What symptoms of h.f. asd is not a symptom of add as well ?
|
aspergers
|
My mental health is quite bad at the moment and every single day I have thoughts like “If you don’t do this, something bad will happen” I searched up why I do it and from what I understand I think I have OCD I’m not sure and I’d just like to ask around for help
|
OCD
|
Hi, this is my situation. I've always considered myself an intersectional feminist, but I feel as though I'm a bad person who has done something irrevocably bad, and has betrayed women everywhere (which I know is overreacting).
I have Asperger's Syndrome, as well as clinical depression and at the time the events below happened, I was wrestling with what I later that same month realised was an aggressive form of OCD caused by extreme anxiety and stress, (with general OCD being something I Iater realised I've always had).
Around this time, due to an increasingly non-existent libido, I began to suspect that I was, indeed, asexual. I can't really explain my attitude towards women in any other way than to say I've never sexualised women really; while I sincerely respect a woman's sexuality (or lack thereof), my most enriching relationships with women have always been wholly platonic, and non-sexual.
At first, in 2020, I assumed this was just an over-reaction to the stress of experiencing sex and overthinking things, but now I realise that (irrespective of whether I'm on anti-anxiety medication or not), I seriously don't desire romantic or sexual relationships. The world of sex and its cybercommunities are too confusing and boring for me (no offence), and I just don't feel drawn to them whatsoever.
1.) One morning last May, I woke up in an uncharacteristically 'horny' state and didn't want to relieve myself because I knew that this fleeting, uncommon feeling would go away soon.
At the same time, I also felt I'd like to just vent the feeling somewhere, but my OCD anxiety had conditioned me by this point of 2020 to avoid doing anything 'traditionally', as it were, lest I received intrusive thoughts.
Also, I didn't want to watch pornography because I've always hated the artificiality of it, and felt (due to my perhaps too-rigidly fixed moral compass) that "a feminist doesn't watch porn!" (which is just my view, personally, but every time I'd watch even a second of a clip, I'd feel unreasonably guilty, thinking, "this is somebody's daughter!").
In the end, faced with "no other options" (as far as my OCD was concerned), I messaged a text to a woman who I'd been friendly with for nearly a week at this point.
I didn't even do this for gratification, it was simply to get rid of a feeling. I quickly unconsciously rationalised it as, "Well, I think this is okay because she called me cute, and generally in the past, that's meant that someone's been flirting with you, but you were too aloof to clock the behaviour, and someone would have to tell you after the fact".
After falling asleep and waking up some time later, the fleeting feeling of randiness had of course gone, and so I thought, "What an impulsive thing to do, that's unlike me, and regardless of what she responds with, I'll make amends by U-turning and moving the conversation forward onto a separate topic".
She responded, not knowing what the abbreviation I had used meant, and so I said "nevermind" and we carried on talking as normal and I realised that that was a silly thing to do due to the fact that I deep-down didn't want to be sexual with her or any lady, as stated prior. And so, since I didn't really mean it, to myself, I didn't worry about it. In my mind, I'd wised up way before dire repercussions would start, and had done the adult thing.
About 12 hours later, after our conversation had all but died, due to an exhaustion of conversation points, she blocked me. I remembered this last month when reading a MeToo article, and went out of my way to apologise via a new Snapchat account, but I still feel like a bad person.
At the same time, my lady friends have counseled me on the matter, saying "If you'd sent a dick pic, (which I've never, ever sent unsolicited, or to a young person) that'd be sexist, but this is just an awkward moment, we've all done it, you didn't mean anything by it", and other similar sentiments.
Another friend said, "Bab, the amount of times I've misread a situation and said something sexual and then realised that the person wasn't feeling this, is a lot. Don't worry about it". Another friend said, "You're amazing for having apologised, but honestly, it's all good".
Also, this has happened to me with the roles reversed, where an acquaintance of mine messaged me, saying "I miss being choked", with a Snapchat video of her neck (out of the blue) and I think maybe I'm overreacting due to the moral scrupulousness of my personality, in that I'm holding myself up to a higher moral standard than everybody else.
Hell, my best friend once messaged me when she was drunk, asking me what ahem, "(p-word) tasted like".
In truth, what both of my friends here did doesn't in the slightest constitute being a 'misandrist' (to flip the loaded, judgmental language of my OCD's finger-wagging) of course, they were just doing a spontaneous thing and they don't need to feel bad.
In a similar vein, I'm not a misogynist, and don't need to feel bad, right?
2.) In mid-July, while depressed and once again in an unusually 'horny' state, I re-added a woman who I'd been speaking with on-and-off as friends (mainly, despite some consensual sexting, initially) for a year and a half, and I messaged her a text message that was sexual.
In this instance, I remembered the above encounter, and double-checked in my mind that we'd been flirting recently (non-commitally), which we had, but prior to me messaging her, two weeks prior, I'd said I didn't think it was a good idea for us to talk anymore as I felt we had nothing to talk about, which she accepted and I disappeared.
After sending the sexual message, about two weeks after we'd last spoken, I was confident this was okay, as I'd not misundertood the tone, and I thought the tone of a conversation would still be there, even after one person disappears (as usually that's how conversations have worked previously with people I've known).
After I said this, she said "Nice" (which I thought of as a good, "Nice"), but then she said "Why did you think that'd be the first thing I'd want to see?", so having realised I'd messed up the timing, I awkwardly receded then after talking to myself out loud about it, I apologised to her, and she said, "Don't worry, it's okay".
Everything was fine until I remembered this last month and felt indebted to apologise (again) and she accepted it and I was overthinking by this point, and so said, "I didn't traumatise you, did I?"
She responded with a shrugged emoji, and then I said, "Well, I hope I didn't", and she said, "Oh well", and I said, "What do you mean?" and she said, "Never mind". I think she was being sarcastic here, and I think she got annoyed that I didn't get it and became further annoyed at how I continually kept apologising after this point, and then she blocked me.
I then felt even worse and then re-added her via my secondary Snapchat account in order to apologise, and she saw the message and saved it and that's it.
My friend pointed out to me that she more than likely meant no ill-will by blocking me, but she probably felt like I wasn't listening to her accepting my apologies, and maybe felt annoyed that I was continually apologising for something so incredibly minor.
I've now realised that I am totally asexual, which is totally unsurprising.
So, that's it. I don't want to go on living if I've done something awful to these women (which is just catastrophizing, I know), but at the same time, the rational part of my brain is saying,
"BRO, IT WAS AN AWKWARD MOMENT THAT YOU CORRECTED IN BOTH CASES, BOTH AT THE TIME AND LATER, AND IT WASN'T SOMETHING YOU DID OUT OF ENTITLEMENT OR SEXISM -
MISUNDERSTANDING THESE NUANCES HAPPENS TO NEUROTYPICALS AND 'ASPIES' ALIKE, AND IT'S LITERALLY A HALLMARK CHARACTERISTIC OF YOUR CONDITION. CHILL, YOU'RE NOT HARVEY WEINSTEIN OR BILL COSBY".
I've been unable to sleep peacefully for the last three weeks due to a Gordian knot of anxiety in my stomach, but I've tried to calm my myself down by saying that I did the digital equivalent of approaching a woman in a nightclub after she'd maybe been smiling at me, and then I end up making a blunder, or vice versa.
What do you think?
|
OCD
|
c
v At least twice a day, I reply to posts on r/mentalhealth and/or related subreddits. I am not telling you this to brag, show off, let you all know how nice I am. I am telling you this because it is important to what I am posting about (plus, if you go on my profile you can literally see all of my comments just like every other user so it's not like I'm — you know what, just whatever, let me get on with the main stuff lol).
I do wanna point out, if you are one of the people to whom I've given advice, I felt NO displeasure in doing so. I am always happy to help. *However*, if you *do* look at my comments you will notice that in the past few days I have been making more comments than usual (at least I would say I have been). I'm posting this on r/Scrupulosity too, so.... you can probably tell where this is going... Yes, I sometimes compulsively make these types of comments, compulsively carrying out acts of charity, all to appease my obsessions, my worries, my anxiety. Isn't that sick? I'm doing this for myself. That is selfish and gross. :D But it's just, I think to myself, so many people post on these subreddits every few minutes. I could at least upvote posts. But I'm not on reddit 24/7 but what if in the time I spend doing other things like writing, watching my current favourite show, Miraculous Ladybug, or eating (OK, that last one's an exaggeration), someone makes a post asking for help and because I'm too busy satisfying my own desires and stuff, they don't get the help they need and someone commits suicide because of me? It sounds extreme but TECHNICALLY —
Anyway, so I've basically developed a lot of anxiety about this. ANYWAY
Another thing (well, it's technically the same thing but not really, I guess you could just say it's related), I feel at least a bit stressed all the time and it's practically affecting my ability to, like... do stuff. Every little mistake feels like a disaster and I can barely enjoy doing things. There were some really cute Adrienette scenes in the episode of Miraculous I just watched and yeah, that was fun (I'll go back to speaking in English now) but I can't really DO stuff, when I'm writing I'm usually thinking about how dumb the dialogue is, there's too much of it, the writing is just bad and maybe even the entire concept of the stories is, too.
Also, I kind of just care too much about what other people think, not in an I'm-worried-they'll-judge-me way, well technically it is, but in a moral OCD/anxiety way because like, if I do this thing this way, my mum might get cross with me even though she literally doesn't care, she wants me to do it the way I feel comfortable, and yeah. :D
There's no real reason as to why I'm posting this; I'm not after pity or anything, you can just carry on with your day. :D
Random stuff gets me all stressed; for some reason I'm starting to associate brushing my teeth with that, or even with waking up at the start of my day. Shaving feels stressful because I can't really do it right, like I can, but lately I'm always cutting myself by accident, but if I don't shave then I'm fiddling with my facial hair (that makes it sound like there's a lot but there's not, really), probably because of trichotillomania, and especially the hair growing out of the mole on my chin.
Anyway, what else was I gonna talk about? I dunno. Maybe I'll add to this if I think of more? Meh, whatever
tl;dr stressed kind of uwu
oh and also there's me finding hairs everywhere, probably because I'm pulling them out but then because of scrupulosity I have to pick them up and throw them away so as not to be an unclean pig (oink oink sorry). and so yeah that's it TwT
oh and also I can't stay away from social media for long because of my wanting to see if people are ok and stuff
oh and also it's my birthday in a few days so hopefully that's good :D
|
OCD
|
I've wanted to get vaccinated since it became available, but in normal ADHD fashion I've been putting off looking up where to get it etc.
And since it's now been so long, and there's a growing antivax thing that I don't agree with, I have some irrational fear of what they'll think of me.
And because of this I've been putting off going to see my doctor, because I assume that's something that will come up and I'll feel like a dumb fuck.
So I guess this is half a question if someone else have been in the same situation, and half just venting to get motivation to do it.
|
ADHD
|
For a long time now I've been feeling this weight on my stomach, it never truly goes away. I've come to a conclusion that it's connected to my trauma because when I listen to some encouraging words about it, some of that weight disappears and I can feel myself be a little more lighter, but then it always returns. I remember when I was listening to a meditation video about trauma when I was falling asleep, and when I woke up the next morning that weight was almost all gone, I still felt some of it but it wasn't nearly as heavy as it was before. I felt like I could breathe easier for once. I don't know if it's normal, I don't know if I really feel happy anymore and I feel terrible about it because I'm thinking if my boyfriend and he's the best thing that happened to me. I'm scared that he'll think that I don't love him, I do love him, deep down I know I do, but for some reason I can't really feel those butterflies in your stomach, for some reason I can't really feel love some times. He makes me happy, so very happy, I always smile when I'm with him, I always laugh, I always feel so special with him.
But now I feel like broken record. I want all of this to finally disappear, I want this weight, this anxiety, this fear and constant uncertainty, this feeling of not connecting with other people, of not feeling positive emotions, of not really enjoying things, all these terrible perceptions and thoughts I have about other people, that I think that they'll hurt me in someway to finally disappear and be gone from my life so I can finally feel weightless.
|
ptsd
|
I self-harmed fat the first time in 5 weeks, but it's okay. I know I'm getting better. I've actually had some moments of happiness in the past few months. I'm not cutting once or twice a week anymore. It's just that last night was particularly stressful and I stayed up too late. All I have to do is wear long sleeves until the cuts heal (they're quite shallow, so that shouldn't take long or leave scars) and then I can move on and forget about it.
|
depression
|
I have this compulsion where I can't eat a full meal because my intrusive thoughts are telling me something bad happens if I do. Today, i made a sandwich, and got a pickle and a cupcake to go with it. Ate all of it!!!
|
OCD
|
I don't call every single day, just maybe twice in a week. I have been diagnosed on October 18, and my next appointment is December 2. I have no idea if I start meds on December 2, because my psychiatrist has to notify department of health WA to basically greenlight medication. I don't know if he has started notifying them because I need to get a drug test. One preferably before appointment that he needs to send out.
There is a high chance of me waiting till December to give my school reports, blood test and urine drug test, and waiting till January to start meds. This is ridiculous. My psychiatrist is semi retired and has a really long waiting list. I cannot keep moving psychiatrist around because they will think I'm a drug seeker, and my case has to be analysed by a panel to see if I can start meds.
I am so close to getting fired and everyone from manager to coworkers are getting absolutely fed up with my forgetfulness.
Everyone is tired of me.
|
ADHD
|
So today is November 1, which means yesterday was the last day to complete the online assessment for my health insurance's incentive program. Did I do it? Of course not. I couldn't figure out my password on Friday and was inconceivably confident that I would remember a) to remember that this was even a thing and b) actually reset my password, log in, and take the 2-minute assessment.
So my deductible and premiums are both going up this year and I lose out on an extra $20/month in my paycheck. Cool.
|
ADHD
|
Hi! Been suffering with OCD for almost 20 years now. My compulsions and fears change over the years but one has always stayed the same. I am petrified of *certain* numbers. I can’t even type them out or say them because I’m afraid of horrible things happening. If I see these numbers on anything I freak out! If I see it on a clock I will stop everything I am doing for that minute or if it’s that number on the calendar I literally cannot function that day. Does anyone else have experience with this number phobia!
In my head or when I say this out loud to someone it sounds so ridiculous but really has been crippling to me and my life. I’m constantly paranoid of seeing these numbers.
Anyways thanks for listening and I hope everyone had a good Sunday
|
OCD
|
I have a female friend who is single, I joke to her that she needs to find a man because the rest of us are already married hahaha so I asked her what she likes in a man
She told me:
-Smart
-Funny
-Not racist
-Nerdy
So being someone with Aspergers I naturally told her that she should date someone with Aspergers, because many of us fit those qualities but however she will need to be understanding of the awkwardness which is good because she’s a nurse.
She liked this advice but I couldn’t give her advice where to meet people like this.
Anyone have any idea where I could advise her to look?
|
aspergers
|
I have a follow up with my psych in about 2.5 weeks. We’ve been having a hell of a time finding an effective dose/med. We titrated from 5-30mg of Adderall XR over weeks- nothing. Now we’re trying IR, over the last few weeks we’ve titrated from 5-20mg 2x a day.
I keep reading about crashes on IR when it wears off- but I never notice them on the days I take my meds. My Psych is very adamant about 1-2 days off a week to avoid tolerance building. When I told my General Practitioner this, she looked at me funny and said “but you have adhd every day.”
I have been taking Sat/Sun off for now and have been miserable, flat. I want to sleep a lot. I am also diagnosed with MDD that’s been well managed for last year (meds+therapy) so this is extremely frustrating and defeating to feel all over again.
TLDR: 20mg Adderall 2x a day- no crash on days I take meds but increased depression and lethargy on my days off. Psych wants me to do break 1-2 days each week. Is this still considered crash even if I don’t experience it until like 24ish hours later? Does this happen to anyone else?
|
ADHD
|
I am scared that I need my boyfriend too much. That everytime I need to see him on an emergency basis I am sucking the energy/timeout of him. We spend a few days every week together and if I can't be alone/feel the need to see him because I feel suicidal/horribly alone I feel like he will get increasing tired of taking care of me and I might lose one of ht e few good things in my life.
|
depression
|
I've been on antidepressants for about a year and was on a different type for about a year a few months before that. My doctor wants to change them again because I've been feeling anxious and I struggle with life in general. I believe my life struggles are more to do with my ADHD being undiagnosed for so long though and general life difficulties. I'm hoping to start meds next year, so I wonder if it's worth trying to come off antidepressants now to fully understand the impact of ADHD medication? Doc and husband are very against me going off antidepressants completely and just want me to go straight onto the next one.
|
ADHD
|
TLDR: Meltdown whenever I have to call a call center, can't cope. Help me please.
I was just on hold for half an hour with a major bank for a simple password reset and I feel like I've had my teeth and fingernails ripped out.
I'm melting down before I even get anyone on the line from the distorted music and repetitive recorded promotional messages and just the total waste of time. (Not able to multi task at all). Then the many security questions drive me further around the bend. I hate when people ask me questions, and I just hate how it goes on and on, and even though I know it's not personal I feel so defensive. It's not unusual for me to get so upset that I just get hung up on after all that anyway, without being able to accomplish what I called for in the first place.
Is this autism related do you think or is it my own past traumas or something else going on here?
I avoid making these calls whenever possible of course but sometimes it's the only way forward, and it can easily ruin my whole day.
I've looked into TTY for the deaf but haven't found much that's helpful, or how to obtain such a thing. Anyone have any advice or insight?
Thank you
|
aspergers
|
Hey all,
For the last nearly 2 weeks I’ve been in a progressive downward spiral that today resulted with me crying in my girlfriend’s arms.
I’m obsessing over a real event that took place nearly 2 weeks ago and have been ruminating over my actions to find clarity to absolutely no avail. I know that people on this sub are against reassurance and I’m not sure if that’s what I’m after, but something like some support / help would be much appreciated.
For context, my biggest battle over the last few months has been related to sexual intrusive thoughts related to raping my girlfriend. Please understand, the **LAST** thing I want to do on this earth is harm her in any way like that, or at all. You know how it is with these specific sexual obsessions though, you go over every sexual encounter, seeing if your actions are tantamount to rape, you wonder if you touched her inappropriately, forced her in any way, did something without her consent and so on and so fourth. Near enough every time we have sex or are intimate in other ways, these thoughts (& worries!) are in my head and I’m *tired*.
Here is the event I’m obsessing about and I can’t categorise it, define it, or work out my motive behind it and it’s really stressing me out. Was it morally black, white or grey? Am I monster? Why did I do it? What for? Here goes:
So, we’re laying in bed and she’s asleep and I’m awake and we’re facing each other. I put my right leg on top of her lower torso / legs and for context, after a little while I know that she gets a little claustrophobic when we lay like this. Basically what happened was is that she went to kick me off but I left my leg there the first time and only moved my leg after she kicked harder the second time and I’m just like *WHY?*
I know she doesn’t like this so why did I intentionally do it? I realise that reading this back it sounds so stupid and insignificant but I CANNOT stop obsessing about it. My obsessions are basically asking myself if there were any ulterior motives at play, why would I want do that to the lady I love etc etc.
Again I *do* realise that this sounds so stupid but this tiny little situation is giving me more grief than any other aspect of my OCD has ever given me before, and I have dealt with all sorts on the Obsessive / Compulsive spectrum.
What does this tiny little event even fall under? I didn’t feel compelled to it for any sexual motive, I don’t get off on any power struggle type thing or anything of that nature so **** knows.
I realise even now that I’m still in a spiral so any advice / perspective would be helpful.
And finally, what I want to know is why would somebody (me) who is absolutely terrified of harming their partner in any way want to deliberately hold my leg in place over her??? It just doesn’t make sense!!!! Why didn’t I lift my leg up the first time???? WHY!!!
|
OCD
|
I would've put this in r/college but a lot of my dilemma is autism-specific so I'd like guidance from people who might understand.
I've been having a hard time lately because I'm wrapping up my sophomore year of college and I still have no idea what I want to do. I've considered pretty much every major my uni has to offer, and I'm still lost. I think I may also have ADHD, so my SIs are intense but fast, which has made choosing a major near impossible. I simultaneously like everything and want to learn everything and I want to learn nothing and be done.
For a while I've considered Psychology, but after seeing how ableist the psychology field is, idk if I can handle having to educate my professors every semester. Right now, I'm a gender & sexuality studies major because I took a class and I like it, but it has kind of taken a toll on my mental health because my hope for fixing the world has dwindled.
I'm good at math, art, writing - but I did bomb Calc 2 because I burnt out. Idk if I'm talented enough to pursue any of those. It is on my bucket list to illustrate a children's book and/or write a memoir.
Part of this I think is because I currently have a 9-5 office style job and it is the bane of my existence. The fluorescent lighting, the background noise even over my headphones, etc. I'm afraid that I can't handle working full time but how else would I make any money? My dream ever since I was a kid was to be self-employed and/or work from home because that's where my comfort is. I know I'm smart and mildly capable but I feel like the world is failing me atm.
|
aspergers
|
My partner does not open up. In the sense of there will never be acknowledgement if she does something wrong and either doesn’t possess the ability to self reflect to the point where she will be vulnerable so it just leaves me feeling confused. When I’m trying to talk to her about a serious matter and she refuses to open up and I’m left being open and vulnerable because your taught in therapy not to hold stuff in but talk about how you feel it is very scary, and confusing. For someone to just tell you you’re imagining things when your ptsd actually causes really bad paranoia and disassociation it’s makes me not trust my mind and it makes me confused and angry that she doesn’t try to understand me by connecting to me openly it leaves me
Vulnerable and confused. I considered just ending it with myself because that’d be the way out of it.
I don’t think she realizes her inability to be open and vulnerable is killing me. It confuses me so much I think I either went into a manic episode or still in it iono
I thought I was getting better
|
ptsd
|
I just wanted to see if anyone has any advice, because I am struggling.
I have had PTSD for 8 years, ever since I was 13, and have started doing EMDR. While my trauma has gotten better, it seems that I’m now having severe anxiety.
I have panic attacks 4-5 times a day that can last for up to 45 minutes at a time with varying, unpredictable symptoms like chest pains, or feeling like my head is swelling. This has been happening nonstop for a week now, and I don’t see an end in sight. I wake up around 3 times a night feeling like my heart is beating out of my chest.
How do you guys deal with unwarranted panic attacks? I don’t have triggers and I can’t predict the time or length at all. I’m hoping someone has some advice, because I can’t keep doing this.
|
ptsd
|
I have never really talked about this to any mainly because I could never find anyone who would you know actually want to listen and help. Honestly on the outside looking in I have a good life and I do, two loving parents, good grades, dual-sport athlete and a loving girlfriend I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world, but with come with all that is the stress and the anxiety of being the first of my generation in my family to go to college and not just let my parents sacrifices go to waste. I’ve been in and out of long “depression” ( I say that in “” cause I’m not sure what to call it) battles since middle dealing with confidence issues, anxiety and just the hellish task of being the first born. One thing that just has been non stop is the overwhelming thoughts of not being enough in my parents. My parents are supporting in what I do and are caring( they can be apart of the problem) and loving and I want to talk to them about all this but I just don’t how to go about it and what to say cause I don’t want them to think I just want to delete myself off the earth (which I have thought of ) or that they are bad parents and I just want help that all. Thank you for listen and taking your time to read my thoughts.
|
depression
|
I don't know if this thread already exists but... Do you guys keep a diary to vent all your feelings? Does it work?
I've been thinking about starting to write stuff but I'm afraid of reading all the mess that comes out of my brain :(
Thank you in advance
|
OCD
|
I brought my laptop with me to a local costa, cause studying in my dorm is impossible for me for some reason, and I had planned to do a bunch of shit. What I ended up doing instead was staring at my computer screen for 2 hours flipping through the same three tabs over and over again. I wasn’t even doing anything *in* said tabs, I would just sit and stare at screen for few minutes and then switch to another tab and do the same thing.
I’ve seen other people describe similar experiences as “Paralysis of Will” or “Indecision Paralysis” which is the best way I can describe how it felt: I knew what I needed to get done, I knew *how* to do it, but it’s like my body just for some reason decided that it would rather *die* than do any of it.
This kind of shit happens all the time and I hate it so much. I hate the feeling of a complete and utter lack of control. My life feels I’m one of those guys from Judge Dredd who getting drugged before getting thrown off of the Mega City Balcony, and I’m just stuck with my thumb up my ass, falling in slow motion, and watching the concrete below come closer and closer.
|
ADHD
|
And I never go to any harbour to check anything??? that thought doesn't make any sense. And I wasn't even close to sleep or anything. Fires up my OCD like crazy... I get anxious and obsess over the thought and I'm anxious that I am becoming psychotic or schizophrenic.. even though my psychologist and psychiatrist have told me, that I'm not, and that I wouldn't know that the thought made no sense and be able to sit and talk about it, if I had any of those diagnosis. "It's anxiety/OCD" they say.
I know it's irrational, but I still obsess over it and feel like shit about it.
Do any of you have these kinds of weird thoughts? That feels like they make no sense to what you're doing or anything you've ever done?
Ps. Now I didn't get any sleep before my 8 o clock alarm, god damn it.
I'm on 175mg Zoloft btw... Haven't been on it for too Long, but now I think I'll stay at this dose.. Holy moly, Zoloft makes my anxiety and OCD, so much worse. But I'm told it's just in the beginning.. it's better now, but Zoloft has made me fear I'm going crazy more than ever before.. been on 175mg for 2 weeks now.
|
OCD
|
I (25M) recently had a baby with my partner (25F). We didn't have an easy time as she was already being induced a month earlier due to her having ICP but things just fell apart from there.
​
When my baby came out after a forceps delivery, he didn't cry. He was wheezing, and struggling to breathe. My baby was on my girls chest for all of 10 seconds before he was rushed away to be resuscitated.
Whilst this was happening, my girl started bleeding out. She started crashing and needed a blood transfusion there and then in order to keep her alive. All the while, my baby was on a resuscitation table trying to take his first proper breathes.
I stood in the corner of the room, helpless as 15+ doctors ran around the room frantically trying to save my girl and my son. I genuinely had the thought of "I am driving home after this alone with an empty car seat."
After about 4 days, my baby was brought down from the ICU and my girl was taking of monitors. On day 6, we were allowed to go home. Everything's great now, but I cant get these images out of my head. The image of her bleeding out whilst my son struggled for air is something that currently haunts me.
The problem is, I can feel my mental stability slipping away more and more as time increases. I am becoming increasingly angry and frustrated at the littlest of things, I feel sad 90% of the time without an actual reason as to why I am sad, and keep finding myself crying at night when im laid in bed. Not sure why, I just do.
I mentioned this to my doctor as I thought I was maybe a little depressed but after I explained this he has suggested that its possible I have a slight variety of PTSD. I have counselling scheduled for a months time.
I am basically looking for advice on the following:
​
\- Does this sound like PTSD?
\- If so, is there anything I can do in the meantime to help?
\- If not, is it depression? I just need to understand what is wrong with me right now. My relationship depends on it.
Thanks to anyone who reads :)
|
ptsd
|
It's my first time posting here. I am not sure what flair I should be using, so please if this one is not accurate, let me know which one is the best.
I want to clarify I already made some appointments to get it propperly diagnosed and treated but I really think I need some advice from you who suffer the same condition as I do.
I suffer from depression and anxiety and after some stuff happening related to infections I developed some fear with anything that could be infectious or contaminating (covid also mad it way worse) to me or the others arround me.I wash my hands I don't even know how many times in a day, and because the tiniest things. My hands are dry, have a lot of cuts, my nails are breaking all the time due of the washing.
If I don't wash my hands and sometimes some objects I touched, I get even worse and start feeling more anxious.
I am afraid of touching anything other people could have touched, but I am at the point where I am afraid about myself.
About a month ago I noticed some spottings on my thigh and at first I wasn't worried about it but they won't leave. Now my head can't stop thinking about them being warts and spreading or infecting someone in my house. I will make an appointment to get it looked at but it doesn't avoid the fear about being there and being told I am exagerating and that it's nothing, just my head making things up.
Sometimes I wash my hands twice because one time is not enough to make me feel more or less safe. I am affraid of even my clothes being contaminated (in that case for example those supposed warts) and contaminating any surface I could be touching later and spread it somewhere else or to someone.
As much as I try to, those thoughts don't leave me, I feel anxious all the time and I think I can't handle it anymore. I feel bad, I feel exhausted and I can't live my life as I used to before having this problem.
​
Please, I need to know how do you cope with this.
​
Thank you a lot, and I wish all of you have a beautiful life even when it's harder than it should. <3
Also sorry if I made some mistakes on the writing, english it's not even my second language.
|
OCD
|
We have a thunderstorm coming and if we had wood enough I’d f***ing barricade the entire house. My dad just told me: “You also die being scared to death.”
|
aspergers
|
I've read in a few places now that men with ASD, in particular, can have difficulties showing a wide range of emotions and expressing demonstrative love and care to their gf/wife (I'm sure some of you have also come across groups and websites etc, detailing the assumed difficulties NT women in rships or marriages with ND men can face).
Is this the case for some, or is it just a niggling stereotype and excuse to be a neglectful partner?
I'm asking because an ex partner of mine, who was very dear to me, used to tell me he didn't know how to express his emotions. He was very quiet (a work mate of his also told me this), obsessed with video games and liked "trolling" people online (both of which I've read can sometimes be an indicator of undiagnosed ASD in males), often spoke in a monotonous tone of voice, was quite *flat* emotionally, had social anxiety (including shutting down when in crowds) and liked to plan things out including needing to think up a sort of "script" of what to say to people.
Anyway I just wondered if it was a thing at all.
EDIT - I'm also autistic, and felt a strong sense of chemistry with this guy back when we were together. I do sometimes wonder if that, along with what I've already mentioned about him, was because he was also on the spectrum and I was picking that up from him. I mean, he probably wasn't but I have always wondered. He also ended up being emotionally and psychologically abusive and stalkery, so maybe just a bog standard jerkass lol (although on the other hand autistics can also be assholes and stalkers - I was a bit).
|
aspergers
|
Hi everyone - I'm dx'd OCD, and I've suffered from it for years. I'm not trying to reassurance-seek by posting this-- instead, I'm trying to get a reality check on whether this recent behavior I've developed could be obsessive or not.
I use medical cannabis to manage my anxiety, but lately I've been terrified that I'll become addicted. Even though my therapist knows about my medical use, I'm still worried that if I use cannabis multiple nights in a row (or if I don't have strict rules in place about my usage), I'll become addicted.
Since addiction is actually fairly common with any substance, it's hard for me to tell if I'm feeding my OCD when I research OCD addiction and ask my friends or forums if my usage is normal. These behaviors certainly *seem* like reassurance-seeking and OCD to me. However, most guidelines I've found about harm reduction and responsible cannabis use are pretty unhelpful: they recommend 'moderation' without specifying on what that entails. My therapist has said some of her patients can have daily medical cannabis with no issues, but most people online will tell you that daily use is a mark of addiction.
I don't expect anyone here to be an addiction expert, but I was wondering if any of you have gone through something similar. I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place: left to my own devices, I would self-medicate pretty often (though never during working hours), but I do think there's a good chance I'm perservating and/or reassurance seeking. Like I said, any reality check here would be helpful.
|
OCD
|
Tw: mention of being suicidal
Years ago, before I got my ADHD diagnosis, I knew something was “wrong” with me. I remember completely breaking down to my husband, telling him I couldn’t keep living unless something changed. Cue multiple anxiety, panic, and depression diagnoses. Multiple meds that took a little bit of edge off, but never took care of the problem. Feeling like I’d just be broken forever.
Then I got my ADHD diagnosis and started meds, and my entire life changed. I felt like a real human being, like my head was above water for once in my life. Like I wasn’t stuck in slow motion while everyone around me moved in hyper speed. I could actually breathe.
My hospital fucked up and accidentally canceled my prescription (long story) and I’ve been off of my meds for three months. After a year of medication it took me just days to sink back into my depression, panic, and anxiety — stopped cleaning my house, haven’t cooked a real meal in months, and need to fight just to get out of bed. The crazy part is that I almost instantly started blaming myself for my shortcomings again. All of the voices that I’ve internalized over the years, the teachers and parents and friends who told me I was just lazy and useless, were right back in the forefront of my mind. I even started to feel suicidal again, like there was no way out.
I finally got my prescription, and it took one single day for my head to be back above water again.
Of course there’s something to be said here about me needing therapy, but I know I can’t be alone in these experiences and the power that medication holds. I’ll truly never understand how ADHD became stigmatized as a fake disorder. How many people have taken years of depression and anxiety meds without knowing they were only treating symptoms? How many people have taken their own lives because they internalized a real disorder as a personal failure?
If you’ve struggled with feeling useless and hopeless, I hope you know that you’re not alone in this fight. ADHD is so fucking real, and so are the symptoms it causes. I know how easy it is to forget, and how easy it is to slip back into blaming yourself — but it’s not your fault.
|
ADHD
|
For example, my sister(35) and I (37M) both have ADHD; however, she has a six figure job, is married, eats right, exercises, and does all the things adults are “supposed” to do, while I live with our parents, have never held a job for more than a year and go months or even years between jobs, and can’t seem to make myself do anything hardly. We’re both diagnosed and medicated; the difference is that she’s been so since our early 20’s, and I, only since April of this year. Also, when she got medicated, her life seemed to have changed overnight (we were both irresponsible and big partners until she got treatment), but it doesn’t seem to be helping me nearly as much. Like, it does a little, but not a life-changing amount like for her. (We’re both on Adderall.)
But it’s not just us. I see people with ADHD that are damn doctors and shit. Like how? Why do they get to be successful, while I, and others, are completely debilitated by this disease? It’s not fair!!
Why do y’all think that is? My theory is that some people are just lucky enough, by pure chance, to be able to hyper focus on and get dopamine amd pleasure from things that just happen to be financially viable ways to make a living while my hyper focus is on pointless bullshit like The Sims, Reddit, and YouTube. Does that make any sense? What do you think?
|
ADHD
|
I spent 12 hours doing the same compulsion, couldn’t complete it, ended up hysterically sobbing and semi-suicidal, and fell asleep at the desk still trying to complete the compulsion.
Woke up exhausted physically and mentally, started doing the compulsion again and ended up in tears after being unsuccessful for an hour.
Every time I think it can’t get any worse it does, and I’m at so tired of this. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve been on a waiting list for a psychologist since February but I don’t know how much longer it will take and while I wait it is just getting worse
|
OCD
|
I’m most likely not going to finish high school. I’m a fucking senior and i’m not even close to having enough credits to graduate. I ended up not going to school for the entirety of 11th grade because i was in a really bad place mentally after a relative died and then we had to move out.
And now I just don’t have the mental capacity to do school at all. It’s just so mentally draining and tiring and it makes me wish i was dead. I don’t expect to go to college since we’re poor and i’d most likely drop out anyways, but i didn’t expect to be this much of a mentally ill disappointment.
Now i’m most likely going to become a fucking bum, and i absolutely deserve it. There is no place in society for people like me and i’m destined to be a pathetic failure. I have given up.
|
depression
|
Someone told me they think I could have it. So I went down a rabbit hole of “adult ADHD symptoms” and I relate so hard that I will be surprised if I DON’T get a diagnosis. Suddenly, so many things about myself and my life make sense. I’m going to get an assessment soon. I’m pretty nervous about the cost, as I don’t have insurance. But it’ll be worth it, especially if I can get some relief from these symptoms. I’m feeling really good, as I feel I am rather successful. I have, throughout the years, developed ways to help me get through life. I have a purse with a pocket for everything, and there’s even a “key leash” that’s long enough that I never have to detach it, and therefore I don’t lose them. I clean my house every weekend, I have developed a method to help me actually get it done, because if left to my own devices, I will load half the dishwasher, notice that the counter is dirty, look for a rag to wipe it down, notice I need to do laundry, load it and add soap but not start it because I found a clean rag, remember I wanted to wipe things down…. And of course, this is only if I find myself with the actual motivation to clean, instead of sitting and feeling restless, telling myself how much I *need* to clean, but feeling such overwhelm that I feel paralyzed and can’t start. I could go on for quite a while but reflecting makes me realize a whole slew of things that could potentially be ADHD. I have been diagnosed with anxiety- so it’s possible it’s just anxiety, but I relate so much to what I’m reading it’s definitely worth an assessment. Idk, maybe it’s both? I’m not really asking for advice, or really have a point, I’m just having this huge epiphany and want to share it with those who relate.
|
ADHD
|
To all of you fellow OCDers, keep going. It’s so hard and some days are filled with intrusive thoughts that consume you. Just remember that you are not your thoughts and even if we can’t stop the thoughts, we can change how we respond to them.
This isn’t forever and there are so many people which are also going through this which is rubbish but somewhat comforting. The fact you have recognised you have it is an accomplishment in itself :)
You should be so proud of how far you have come, especially with this exhausting mental illness but just keep going !!!!
|
OCD
|
I have the most unstable appetite and I wonder if it’s due to my adhd. I struggled with ED in high school but have since thought to have a healthy relationship with food. Now I have weird habits of eating and I wonder if it because of my past relationship with food or adhd. My appetite I’ve noticed is based on my menstrual cycle, as the only time I genuinely feel hunger is the week prior to starting my period. Otherwise I simply eat because people around me are eating. I just recently noticed this pattern once my boyfriend started asking me “what did you eat today” or “have you eaten today” and many times I’d simply forgotten. It isn’t like it was in the past where I would purposefully suppress my thoughts of hunger or avoid meals but I go the whole day without eating without noticing. When I do eat, I eat a lot, and when people suggest a meal or going out to eat I get excited but me on my own, the thought of eating doesn’t cross my mind unless it’s the week before my period. So my question is, is this something else people experience with adhd or is the an extension of my previous ED?
|
ADHD
|
My mom doesn’t seem to understand that adhd basically makes my will disappear and she keeps telling me everything is about will and that I have to do stuff out of will power, but when I say I don’t really have much access to my will power most of the time she’ll tell me I’m convincing myself of something that isn’t true and she refuses to do any research about it despite my doctor saying I have major signs of adhd… does anyone have any advice on what I could do to make her understand a bit better? She’s of those people that go “we didn’t get help for adhd before so you can do it on your own”, she’s helping me tho, I am in treatment with pills and everything, but I hate having arguments about it with her :(
|
ADHD
|
Late diagnosed at 23(F). I am in therapy and began going to therapy after a year or so of dealing with these emotions. They had started shortly after becoming financially independent entirely from family and others. I was working full time and after about two months of being financially independent, I realized that it doesn’t stop. I felt like I had been hit with a train when I suddenly realized that I will never really get a break from ‘it’ ever again. I became very suicidal, depressed, suffering every single day. I limited my time at work to the bare minimum and it didn’t improve. I got a different job and about 2 months in I’m experiencing similar feelings. I am taking Wellbutrin for the depression and adhd but the feelings still shine through, just in a more numb way I guess. Instead of having panic attacks and crying.. I just feel defeated, angry and impulsive. It has been over a year of struggling with this and I have tried every route of advice I have been given. Nothing has worked as a long term fix and I don’t know what else to do. I have talked to my therapist, family, and friends about it and no one has anything “good” to say to me. “Everyone has to work” “No one likes to work” “You need to find purpose and you’ll be okay” “You need to rewire your brain to like work” “Do something you love and it won’t feel like work” It’s all so invalidating. It doesn’t change that working makes me suicidal. It doesn’t change anything or help me. Nothing about work is rewarding or satisfying. I don’t even see a paycheck as a reward but more of a thing that I am owed for my suffering. I have far too much to say on this topic and will stop my rant here before it gets too long. Some days are better than others but I’m struggling right now. I can’t help but feel that it is all ADHD related. It was like the second the “training wheels” of life came off.. I couldn’t handle it.
|
ADHD
|
I’m studying to become an electric engineer but I am so overwhelmed with the tests and I am having second thoughts about my major. I just don’t know what major I could do that will make me a decent amount of money. Anything with heavy readings is pretty much out of the question.
Any engineers with ADHD? How hard is the job? I’m scared of getting there and being completely incompetent.
|
ADHD
|
I got diagnosed a few months ago and while I'm choosing to be unmedicated, I was wondering if anyone has specific jobs they go for that make ADHD more manageable.
All my jobs in the past have been pretty hectic and fast-paced, which led to complaints from managers that I was too slow of a worker or got sidetracked too often. Of course, I was undiagnosed then and really thought I just wasn't a good worker. I can be a good worker if I have a specific task to focus on, but once I get overwhelmed it's a bit too much.
I'm starting to look around for jobs once this college semester ends and was wondering if anyone has had a job that doesn't interfere with their ADHD too badly to where they just shut down at work. Is there anything you do at work that helps you stay on track or manage your tasks? I'm just looking for any feedback from someone who has struggled to be a productive worker because of their ADHD.
|
ADHD
|
Does anyone else find that they gradually lose interest in their friends after a while?
|
aspergers
|
For me personally it's always been 5-3-1, then 3-1, then 1, and then 1 again. I don't really know why I do it in that order, I think it just stuck in my head from when my dad told me to do that number of soap lathering cycles in the shower. Guess it just stuck and clung onto me.
|
OCD
|
I have included a TLDR at the end of this.
Around a month ago I [M19] met this girl [F19] and we really hit it off. This is when all of this started. Everything was fine, just every time I was around her I got random dizzy spells, my jaw would lock, my heart rate would randomly spike (I have an apple watch, so it alerted me), and I would feel like I was going to pass out. Something the whole time I was around her felt off, and I would get these physical symptoms. Fast forward to the start of this week. Everything was fine, until she told me she doesn’t think shes ready for a relationship (after saying she loved me, subsequently taking it back) and wanted to just remain “talking”. I was surprised to say the least but I agreed. On Saturday, she was leaving the state for a month on vacation, so this would be the last time I saw her. We said our goodbyes, and then she drove off. I sat in my car, then subsequently began crying uncontrollably. I didn’t really feel sad, I just started bawling and feeling like I was going to pass out. I ended up sitting in my car for awhile before I drove home (barely making it alive, as I felt a strong urge to drive off the highway into a tree), when I began to spiral. I was now crying violently, screaming, hitting things, dizzy, and at a BPM of 174 for around an hour. It was all impulsive, I couldn’t control anything. I tried to sleep it off but every time I was about to fall asleep I physically jolted awake and couldn’t breathe. I felt paralyzed. I eventually somehow fell asleep and laid in bed the entire day Sunday. I tried to eat but all food made me feel nauseous after one bite. It is now 12:35AM on Monday, and my heart physically hurts and I’m shaking uncontrollably. I can’t sleep but I’m tired and dizzy. Time is passing by extremely quickly and my memory is foggy. I feel an overwhelming sense of sadness. Is there any idea whats happening? I’m scared.
TLDR; Feeling dizzy, fast heart rate, shaking, uncontrollable crying/muscle movements, struggle breathing at night, no appetite, mental fogginess and forgetfulness. I’m sorry if this is the wrong sub, I just don’t know where to go.
|
depression
|
If this was any other minority, then it would not be ok.
But because it’s us, they are supposedly great people for just letting us exist in society.
|
aspergers
|
TW: Murder, paedophiles, rape
I don't know why it's taken two decades to make this connection when it's been staring me in the face... Usually as a killer with a knife in their hand ready to end my life violently.
I was just recalling my worst episode of psychosis (borderline personality is another diagnosis) on another thread, and it took me back to my childhood experiences with psychosis. A casual thought at the back of my mind that's so easy to ignore was asking why in almost every episode am I about to be murdered, and why is the perpetrator always holding a knife? As a child it was always Ghostface from Scream who I believed was coming to kill me. When I was in my early 20s it was Victoria Climbie, a girl who was tortured and murdered in 2000. Every now and then since I saw him in a nightmare a couple of weeks ago, it's been a young boy.
(The only deviation from this was when I believed there was a group of paedophiles in my bedroom about to rape me, but I was 24 years old and the logic there doesn't fit because they were very specifically paedophiles who went after children, but I was an adult woman. But that's another story for another time.)
Anyway, just now I wondered *why the knife*? And holy cow it hit me like a ton of bricks. I can't believe I never realised this before.
When I was around 6 years old I was with my mum at her workplace and she ran to the toilet quickly as a customer came in. She came back and asked if they stole anything because she felt a little suspicious and I think I said yeah. She went up to the man to confront him and he pulled out a knife and held it to her. I think if I wasn't there he would've killed her. At the time I was standing near her as she told me to keep an eye on his children, but when I saw the knife I just burst into tears asking if she's gonna die.
I've had that imagine ingrained in my brain for two decades now. It wasn't long after that that my psychosis started.
Not sure why I'm posting this here, I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. I suppose I wanted the validation of strangers who just get it.
|
ptsd
|
It feels a little embarrassing to admit, but I feel like a child mentally when I talk to people. My humor and my overall demeanor hasnt evolved past the age of 13. Which is funny, because prior to 13 I was way more mature than everyone else. I'm 19 now, and I cant hang out with people without feeling like a child. I know I'm still very smart, I was able to have pretty adult conversations at around 10, and I've been told my entire life that I'm capable of incredible things, yet I cant hang out with neurotypicals without feeling inferior
|
aspergers
|
So i recently had a few meetings regarding a diagnosis with aspergers, I honestly thought that I am on the spectrum...After giving her 3 "quizzes"(?) regarding symptoms, one answered by me, the other two from my mum and dad, she told me that theres a big difference between what I answered and what my parents answered. She also told me that my teachers from elementary school did not write down anything that could be a symptom of asperger.
So she told she thinks I am a kind of too introverted person with a few compulsions and social anxiety.
The whole situation makes me angry, I grew up with an autistic brother, so far on the spectrum he still cant talk as an 18 year old, I had to take care of him since I was young and my parents neglected me and treated me like shit because of the stress they had...I wrote a huge document to my psychiatrist where I had examples of every question that I answered with yes. These were things I actively remember doing next to or with my parents when I was younger, and yet none of them noted any of these examples aswell.
What drives me crazy aswell is that she told me that it wouldnt make sense to diagnose me with aspergers because I am not struggling with it anyways, thus it does not restrict me. (I told her that eversince I started living on my own, without going out and meeting people, I feel alot better. And that I can currently imagine getting old with this lifestyle)
|
aspergers
|
Hello all. I am often on here advising others to not seek reassurance, embrace anxiety and discomfort, and do the opposite of what OCD tells them to do.
In my own circumstances, I'm having difficulty following my advice. I feel that when I ignore my OCD - which is currently in the form of scrupulosity AKA religious OCD - I am sinning, disrespecting God, and risking hell. It makes exposure work even more difficult than it usually is.
For example, let's say I scooped a 170g bowl of Greek yogurt. I add another spoonful of yogurt to make it 200g. My mind tells me: you're being gluttonous. You're sinning. 170 is one serving, which is enough. 200g is gluttony. I think to myself, but I'm hungry and this is probably OCD, so I should just do the exposure and eat 200g.
I also feel God is telling me to give up some of my hobbies. It is so difficult to discern between what I should do to follow God without submitting to my mental health disorder. Any feedback, suggestions, advice, or corny jokes (if you got nothing else) are appreciated.
Thanks!
|
OCD
|
How do you deal with shopping and touching all the items in the store like boxes and cans and bags. It'd hard to shop and touch everything then get in the car and feel like I've contaminated the steering wheel and stuff and then it gets on my keys and everywhere. And I feel like wiping all items down when I get home is overkill and too time consuming I just live with the anxiety. But how do you all deal with it? There's so much anxiety involved in it
|
OCD
|
I am the only one in my family with autism and "severe" adhd. We are all on holiday together right now. Today morning, we decided to visit a cave. We got ready, and I packed my things too. I tried my best to hurry up, unfortunately still was too slow in my mothers opinion. She decided to yell at me in front of everyone and how I make everyones life so much harder and terrible with my egoistic being and lazyness. Everyone just stared at me and said nothing. It made me very sad how my mother behaved and that noone said anything (they weren't affected by my slowness) because it feels like it's true. After that I went to the toilet to cry and my mother raged because "I was the one burdening the others, I should stop acting like this". This might sound not that bad but for me it was, because I already feel like a burden to everyone on this world and now it feels like it's not "just my brain" but it's also from the others. I just wanna be understood and loved by my family and it hurts that this can't be the case just because I have an adhd-brain.
Edit: a huge thank you at everyone all of these friendly and uplifting replies, I am so grateful, I would've never expected that! That's amazing, thanks <3
|
ADHD
|
Hi!
So, I (26F) have been dating this guy for a few months now, and he's great. He's also my first boyfriend, so I've been treated to all the wonders of RSD times a thousand for the first time, getting worried over the smallest thing and it's caused anxiety and a lot of frustration in our relationship.
I only learned recently what RSD was, so that's helping me put things into perspective, but even though I could always have a rational to explain the problems I perceived in a non-catastrophic lense, the feelings don't go away.
One of those non-problems is whenever he posts things online after we've messaged each other goodnight, sometimes as late as two hours after. I \*know\* he has a lot of issues falling asleep, I \*know\* that it doesn't mean that he hates me and never wants to talk to me again. I can rationalize that maybe he meant to go to sleep, but didn't manage it, or simply that he didn't want to talk to me anymore because that would keep him awake.
But it still bothers me and if my mood was bad to begin with, it just sends me spiralling.
I don't want to ask him to cut himself off from social media after we say goodnight or to tell me goodnight when he's 5 seconds away from sleep, that would just be selfish, unreasonnable and just risk he doesn't message me at all in the second case.
TL;DR: I feel like RSD is going to ruin my relationship and would like advice on how to handle it better.
|
ADHD
|
Hi. Never posted before, so sorry if this post is way too long.
I (24M) got diagnosed with ADHD around 3 months ago after I decided to get tested when my gf’s mom (licensed child psychologist) asked if I’d been diagnosed and suggested that I should check it out. I’d been diagnosed and treated for GAD and depression before.
ADHD is very prevalent on the male side of my close family, as my grandfather, my dad and my brother all have ADHD. My behaviour as a kid was not nearly as disruptive compared to my brother’s (ADHD with comorbid ODD), and I think my parents were preoccupied with him and paid less attention to me.
I’ve always had trouble sustaining attention in school but since I was “that kid who got decent grades on tests without even studying” I managed to keep my grades average enough to pass until I started university and flunked out.
I wouldn’t say I am very hyperactive but somehow I often ended up getting fairly bad injuries (broken finger, broken arm) while messing around as a kid. In my late teens I started drinking but developed a problem (couldn’t stop after one drink and ended up passing out every time) and acting very impulsively which has costed me socially, mentally and financially several times.
When I was diagnosed I was very happy to finally have some answers to things I never understood.
Anyway, I got diagnosed and then put on 30mg Elvanse a month ago and raised to 2 pills a day (morning and late afternoon) yesterday. The meds have helped me in some ways (sustained attention on schoolwork, better sleep, way less irritability, generally happier) but have made other things worse (very self-confident, talking way too much and oversharing, more impulsivity some of the time). I read that these later symptoms can appear when people that don’t have ADHD take Elvanse which is making me anxious and why I am writing this.
Which leads me to my question: Was I possibly misdiagnosed or am I just experiencing temporary symptoms that should go away over time?
Sorry again for the long read.
|
ADHD
|
So I’ve had this issue most of my life with clothing. Any small flaw I find myself trying to “fix” it to my liking. Like if I have a hat and there’s pieces of lint I just can’t get off with a lint roller, I will grab tweezers and pluck each one out, and will always find other things wrong with it. Same with a pair of pants, I will pluck an open stitch that in my eyes looks off. Right now I’m fixated on my right shoe not looking exactly like my left and I’m told by others that it isn’t off but in my eyes, I feel as if there is. I don’t know, does that sound like it may be associated with just right OCD? Would love some input, thank you!
|
OCD
|
Sometime back a doctor prescribed me a daily doze of sunshine. Have you tried it?
|
depression
|
...I only look back
I cannot imagine a futurein this world, I can't even see it properly in my mind
I have no dreams and hopes, I just live, from day to day thinking about my day, never kf the duture because it scares me
The furthest I think forward is the unknown time I hurl myself into the icecold river with 30 kg steel strapped around my neck, preventing me from "changing my mind" last minute and preventing my body being found
And the rest of my thoughts lie in the past, thinking about the mistakes I made, sometimes the memories I'll miss with my friends, sometimes thinking I should have done it earlier
|
depression
|
I super hate myself for this. My electricity gets turned off every month because I can’t remember to pay it. I have to pay an extra $60 reconnect fee every month because of this. The ADHD tax is real. I know automatic bill pay exists but I can’t remember to set it up. I’m super frustrated and discouraged by this. My wife is understanding and doesn’t get mad at me for it but I can’t stop being mad at myself. By the time I get it together to actually set up automatic bill pay I’ll probably be ready to move.
|
ADHD
|
So I moved back home after being in another state for 3 years. I live with my dad, my sister and her husband and their newborn baby. I bought my dad a new mattress back in March because he has a bad back. Trying to be nice. Now, Since my sister had her baby, her husband and her moved in and now have taken over my dads bedroom so that they can keep the baby in there & it’s obviously the biggest room in the house… my thing is why did I spend $3,000 on a mattress for my dad for him to let my sister and her husband (who I don’t really get along with) take over with. I feel like they’re selfish but my dad offered to give up his room and sleep on guest room. When I bring up that I’m annoyed they’re using the bed I bought - he sarcastically said, “well do you want me to pay you back?” Not the point. She’s married. Has a baby. Why is she living with my dad? I am trying to save to move out but I refuse to pay $1500/mo on rent again so want to save to own a house. They have 2 incomes! It’s annoying. Yes I’m jealous because I want a family too but it makes me mad. All 3 of them (plus baby) go out to eat all the time and I’m left alone. I keep to myself so I know my dad likes them around but I’m just annoyed.. I think it’s the jealousy because why else would I care about the bed. Every time I say something to her my dad yells at me.. but like( why are they living with him with 2 incomes? This wreaks of jealousy I know which comes off as hate. how do I protect my peace& Just let it be? I feel like they’d be happier if I died.
|
depression
|
I need to get an exercise regimen going. Like most people in this sub, I have a hard time with focus and motivation.
I just heard that rowing takes a lot of focus and concentration. I’m wondering whether that means
a). It’s mentally stimulating enough to keep me engaged
Or
b) it will be extra challenging because it requires focus, so I should proceed with caution
What do you guys think?
|
ADHD
|
I haven't been dianosed but I am very confident I suffer from adhd.
My mother has been denying to see professionals for my adhd, saying "they will just tell you to stop playing games"
I have a very difficult time trying to live with my mother's neurotypical standards. I tried my very best explaining to her but nothing changed.
My father? He is working 6000 miles away. I also suspect him for having adhd but I don't want to talk to him about this scared that there may be a conflict between my father and my mother.
|
ADHD
|
I was on elvanse for a few months at varying doses (went up to 70mg before going back down to 40mg), and now i’ve been trying concerta for the past month (54mg). So far I think I actually prefer concerta, which is surprising for me because when I’ve read about them, I think people usually much prefer elvanse?
For example, it’s often said that elvanse is smoother and will result in little to no crash. But for me at around 5-7pm, I’d get so spaced out and withdrawn and not want to talk to anyone for hours. Now on concerta I don’t really notice when it’s worn off, I haven’t noticed any crash.
On elvanse I was also very jittery a lot of the time, I could feel my heart beating quickly which was uncomfortable, I had absolutely no appetite until it wore off so couldn’t eat until about 7/8pm most days, I had dry mouth, and on the higher doses I felt like I lost any sense of spontaneity and I felt a lot more serious.
With concerta, I feel normal with no side effects really, I sleep well and don’t need to nap during the day, my appetite is much improved compared to elvanse, and I’m able to be productive with uni work from around 11am-7pm with no issues really. Before, it would take me an entire day just to get through one recorded 45 minute lecture, but now for example I can do 4 lectures, seminar prep, and reading with no issues, alongside things like showering, keeping my room clean, making dinner and washing up, and being able to socialise. etc as well.
I’m doing much better in uni this year, I actually feel engaged in my lectures and like i’m actually learning, I often even enjoy it, I’m so much more organised, in general i’m doing well with it.
Anyway, how do you find concerta and/or elvanse/vyvanse?
|
ADHD
|
It takes me on average 40-45 minutes to shower every day and around 10-15 to brush my teeth. I know this is excessive but I can’t cut it down at all. Do any of you take this long or even longer? Have you been able to implement any strategies to successfully decrease the amount of time you spend?
|
OCD
|
I went through a very traumatic experience a couple months ago and sometimes I’ll just remember random things from that night and it makes me feel this heaviness and anxiousness that’s almost sickening. Is this a symptom of PTSD?
|
ptsd
|
does anyone else with OCD ever obsessively wonder if they might be lying about their symptoms? I constantly worry about it and that on top of pure-o makes me feel like a terrible person sometimes.... is that normal for OCD?
|
OCD
|
Today my bf told me that for similar matters i sometimes have different or even opposite opinions. I feel awkward because i try to follow logic as much as i can in my life. Following a logical scheme shouldnt give two different results in the end. DAE has the same issue?
|
aspergers
|
i have so many assignments due, tests and overdue work but i just can’t study. we’re doing online school too so i just end up on my phone or my laptop spiralling through the internet. i keep telling myself like just 5 more minutes and i’ll work but no it never happens. the other day i literally almost finished a season of a show by procrastinating and it made me feel horrible.
every time i even get close to doing work i end up just staring at it for ages and not making progress. like right now i’ve been looking at my math homework for half an hour.
maybe after like an hour i’ll do a few minutes of work and give up. does anyone have any help cause i feel like i’ve tried so many things.
|
ADHD
|
I just wanna know I have thoughts that don’t make sense I want to think like normal always have fun
|
OCD
|
Sorry if the flair is wrong.
After I made a post on this sub few days ago about my struggle with getting diagnosis for ADHD As an adult, I received a DM from a member of this sub trying to tell me that ADHD isn't a thing and that I don't have it.
I would like to report them to the mods of this sub, as I am worried that they might have harrased other users, who may be more suggestible to this kind of rhetoric.
For information, the qccount has 0 karma, so they might have created this account only for this, and this might not fix the problem for good, but it'd be an attempt for a safer sub
|
ADHD
|
TBH I'm not even really sure what I'm asking for here. I have been suffering for my entire adult life with /something/ I just constantly felt behind and unable to keep up with other people etc. For a long time I thought for sure it was just some form of depression and anxiety, however I always felt it didn't quite fit right. Went to doctor after doctor and had been prescrived anti depressants over and over while I begged them to run more tests because I just /knew/ there was some underlying problem. Only to be continually told I'm perfectly healthy and just try this other antidepressant. They always seemed to help, but only sort of and I still had so many problems keeping up with every day life.
WELL fast forward to basically the past few months and I had stubled upon some ADHD posts on reddit and it was like a damn light bulb lit up and everything, for as long as I can remember, has begun to make sense.
Well I have now joined Cerebral for treatment, because I thought I couldn't see anyone through my insurance. They prescribed me Strattera 25mg and said k see you in a month! Meanwhile I have realized I CAN see a psychiatrist through my insurance and it will be cheaper . So basically I need to make an appt, see a psychiatrist and be properly diagnosed and treated.
Anndddd I literally have thought about nothing else for days and basically have so much anxiety and thoughta/scenarios going that are making it difficult to actually make an appt and follow through.
Meanwhile the Strattera is making me feel so angry and irritable. Some days I feel OKAY and some days I want to rip my hair out and hit people with my car (lol not really but mannn), and some days I just want to sleep all day......
I think I just have no idea what to expect from the entire process for being diagnosed etc and I'm terrified they'll tell me I'm healthy, like all thw other doctors I always see. And I'm just SO sure I do have it, which then makes me question it all too, like I'm not a doctor how would I know..... but jeez I've never felt so understood in my life as I do when i read all the posts here and I've never felt like I understood myself until now.
oh also my mom is severely ADHD also and I was homeschooled my entire life, so thats why i was never diagnosed as a child.
And that was long so thanks to anyone who bothered to read! Basically any advice on how to choose a psychiatrist or anything would be so appreciated, I honestly don't even know where to start...
Also if anyone has taken Strattera, tell me this anger/irritability goes away? I really want it to work but I cannot live like this I swear, I'm usually a much nicer person, this sucks.
When i first realized that I was probably suffering from ADHD I was SO hopeful and just so damn happy to finally have some idea of what was wrong, but now I just feel like I'm at the beginning of a super long and difficult process to actually be diagnosed and treated properly (so thats overwhelming) . And I'm getting married in March and am so upset that I can barely even enjoy the process of planning because of all this
|
ADHD
|
People here who are undergoing depression, how do you manage insomnia if you are or have been through it? I was on medications on and off for two weeks and I feel it has worsened my insomnia..Any experiences to share? I feel hypersomnia would be much better than not sleeping at all.it drives me crazy.I am taking seratraline from last 20 days , but I am still depressed.
|
depression
|
Okay guys so I’ve had ocd ever since I was young or so I think that’s why I’m here! I constantly obsess over future things and I do rituals to try to calm these obsessions like opening apps in my phone in a certain pattern and it calms for a bit then I repeat like every 30 minutes I also have these spikes sometimes where for weeks at a time everytime I go in my room I walk around and look at everything to see if it “feels right” if that makes sense. I’ve always had these symptoms since I was in 6th grade and it comes and goes but does this sound like ocd? I’m tired of constantly stressing about these obsessive thoughts and does it ever get better?
|
OCD
|
Okay so, I've posted here before about this so I guess it's kind of an update/help please post. My gf had a seizure and broke her shoulder and the whole process of it is triggering and terrifying. The thing is, I'm her sole support right now. Meaning, I have to take her to her appointments and sit through them and do all the house work and I'm also the only bread-getter. My problem isn't that I don't like this, I love her and I love taking care of her. It's just that we see so many docs. And every time they ask exactly what happened, so she tells them. But it triggers me. Hard. I start to freak out, maybe shake my head (that's a new thing I developed that happens when I get triggered and I hate it.) that's a lot in itself , and then there's talk about her surgeries and things like that, and surgeries are a major trigger as well.
There's that stress which is hard enough and then there's constantly working and doing homework and dishes need to be done and the dog needs medicine and I don't have any money and it's all getting to me. This is almost too much to handle. The only reason I haven't given up yet is because she needs me. The stress from all that amplifies the feelings I have when I'm triggered and honestly I don't even know if I'm doing a good job....
|
ptsd
|
I have pretty bad executive dysfunction (I recently read my psych analysis/ADHD test/whatever I saw that I had it. I had a bad concussion and didn't read it. "Ah that makes a lot of sense") and I've been doing school where I procrastinate and then last few days stuff in learning and do assignments. Past couple days I can't write an essay or make myself learn. It's like a switch that I can't flip. Part it trying to flip the switch to make-my-brain-think and the other part is "nah. Can't. Won't." Anybody else's brain just stop? (or is this a choice I've made?) What's it like for you? Any suggestions?
|
ADHD
|
The part of my head that says everyone would be better off all the time just keeps yelling and drowning out the other part that says it’s not true
|
depression
|
As the title says. I don't know why im still here, im 28 and I never thought I would make it this far other than the fact that im too much of a failure to even follow through and end it.
Other than family I have nothing and years ago I thought I couldnt bring myself to end it because they love me but now I just dont care, as selfish and horrible as that is, I just dont care. Its not reason enough anymore, I've dont many friends and ive never been in a relationship. I have one friend and as good a friend as he is, being around him just makes me realise how much I truly hate myself. He'll probably be gone soon anyway, any friends I have always leave and never talk to me again and I cant really blame them. Im not funny, smart or good looking and I struggle talking to people because I just have nothing to say. Even around my family, people I have known my entire life I struggle to speak because I have no idea what to say.
I have no reasons to stick around but Im still here and dont know why, I feel like theres still a little shred of hope left inside me but i feel it burning out. I can almost feel my body and my brain just slowly giving up and shutting down.
I've tried therapy and medication but I dont feel like its ever had any real effect. Medication just made me feel numb and therapy maybe helped a little but its expensive and any help it gave me was always temporary.
I dont know why im posting here maybe just to vent, but if youre reading, thanks because its probably the most anyone has ever paid attention to me.
|
depression
|
Despite being stuck in the spectrum. I was considered extremely outgoing and friendly by my peers. Hell I was cheered by almost the entire school during my graduation ceremony compared to most students. At work I am considered to be one of the best employees they have in terms of customer service. Despite all this unanimous approval I still struggle with self hatred and self esteem issues. I fear that a lot of the praises I get might be fake or they are virtue signaling for selfish gains. I also feel like I am an alien among humans that struggles with most conversations as I tend to analyze the conversation rather than partake and I tend to be extremely apologetic because I am afraid to offend or screw up a conversation.
|
aspergers
|
I'm an aspie and I was doing ok alone. I started dating this girl and we got super serious. Almost inseparable. We broke up because she was sleeping with her ex and I had a major breakdown. It has been almost a week and every day I feel depressed. I feel super alone. Nothing dangerous. But does anyone have advice on dealing with this?
If this isn't allowed lmk and I'll delete my post.
|
aspergers
|
I am an early 30s male from the UK. I do not have a formal diagnosis of OCD but I am convinced I have it and in particular POCD. I get sexually intrusive thoughts which are constantly making me second guess myself. I am ruminating over these thoughts what feels like 24/7 and continually having internal conversations with myself about them. I become very conscious of my genital response and I am frequently worrying that I am aroused by these thoughts. I have worried that I might act on them or I might be morphing into a monster.
They have caused me a lot of distress and at one point I was seriously considering killing myself because I didn't think I deserved to live. I'm not in that position now but I still get very anxious. I try to rationalise it and tell myself it's just my mind messing with me, but it does feel like I am lying to myself a lot of the time (even if I'm not).
I'm not sure what I'm looking for with this post. I just need to get it out there.
|
OCD
|
First, I'm not bragging so don't put me on r/iamverysmart or whatever.
I can't tell if people are patronizing me or are genuinely telling me that I am gifted. I can't really tell, maybe a mix of both. I've always been insecure about my intelligence.
My mom and dad and other family members say that I'm very gifted and that I "have knowledge". I started reading on my own at around two/three. I never babbled as a toddler or even attempted speaking and suddenly began speaking in full sentences at five. I excelled in elementary school (academically) but I would have really bad meltdowns in class and other behavior issues. Going to detention once every week or so. Since I had grown up in Iowa, it was the wild west in terms of education.
I was expelled in 5th grade and middle school was hell, the worst of the worst. Isolation rooms with magnetically locked doors that you could open if you kicked hard enough (which is why they held you down on the table and took off your shoes for you). I asked one of the paras what he thought my IQ was and he said 95 or so. I made threats only as a means of getting myself out of their and was expelled (finally). I was brought to a place where I they asked me to play with shapes and stuff. I felt like a microorganism in a petri dish. At the time, I didn't know it was an IQ test. I didn't want to be there. I felt like a complete imbecile.
In 2018, I got an electronic piano for my birthday. The Yamaha DGX660. A beast. I went from playing Moonlight Sonata 1 in 2018 to being able to play Liszt's transcendental etudes. I had learned in three years what it usually takes about 20 years of continuous practice. I've never taken a single piano lesson in my life and don't even know how to read sheet music since I play mainly by ear.
My mom had a mental breakdown in the car a few months ago on how she feels like she ruined my potential or something. She's bipolar *(and I think I'm developing BD too)* and she has episodes like this once every three months or so. She's (seemingly) very extroverted and eccentric but is actually a very intelligent person when it comes to dealing with numbers and puzzles. Maybe I got it from her, idk.
I don't know what to think, what do you guys think?
|
aspergers
|
The thought that people might witness me having my physical compulsions, which consists mostly of head jerking, arm shaking and face/neck scratching, makes me want to cry.
I'm having such an hard time with them as of now, I've always managed to to hide them well enough when I'm in public, but the fact that they are these sort of instant involuntary movements ,makes it so difficult.
Yesterday, I was with my friends we got quite tipsy for the first time... I didn't expect my mind to go straight to rumination mode after that, so the head-jerking really cut loose. Now that I'm home I just can't stop scratching my neck because I'm having intrusive thoughts about how embarrassing all of it was, I don't know what to do to stop it. It's either scratch or restrain the movements as much as I can so that it becomes just arm-shaking.
My friends know about my OCD and are supportive even if they don't completely understand what it implies, but having the witness my compulsions like this? I always hid them from them, I'm scared to know if the think less of me now...
|
OCD
|
As the title says I have this problem where I constantly have to stop what I am doing to try to justify and think through every situation in which I think I am the bad guy.
I tried just saying that "it doesn't matter if I am bad" to get through it, but it doesn't seem to work
|
OCD
|
For a few years now I have been absolutely terrified of dying. Not necessarily in the sense of I’m worried I’m going to die young (although that is a fear of mine too), more the fact of we all die and there’s nothing I can do and what happens after death etc. Sometimes this anxiety can get so bad that I shake and cry and feel like my heart is sinking and the universe is closing in, if that makes sense. This got really bad back in November when I had serotonin syndrome and had to stop all of my medications. For a couple months J just felt overrun with anxiety about dying every day, and it’s gotten better since then but hasn’t gone away. I also got diagnosed with OCD last week and my thoughts have been rapid and all over the place and stuck since then. Basically I just need any advice anyone can give for some type of relief, even if it’s momentary. I just feel like my fears are inescapable because in moments where I feel overcome with anxiety about dying, I realize that even suicide wouldn’t be a relief because death is the very thing I’m terrified of.
Sorry for the long post. Any advice would be greatly appreciated :)
|
OCD
|
Im positive that I have adhd, I have had countless symptoms all of my life and they have effected me so strongly that Its so difficult to function. I try so hard to be able to focus on *anything*, even video games for more than 15 minutes at a time without it feeling like my brains going to explode :(.
I’ve tried caffeine, no caffeine for extended periods of time, exercising every day, drinking loads of water, meditation, journaling, pomodoro method, timed breaks, and more often than not I still keep up with the good habits but nothings changed or improved its only gotten worse.
I have no idea what to even say to a psychiatrist because I have been accused of faking other illnesses or drug seeking. If I wanted adderall badly enough I have friends who would sell it to me, but I want to be diagnosed and have my own medication not get involved with illegal sources.
Does anyone have tips or advice on how to explain myself without coming off as a drug seeker, this life is miserable and no doctor seems to care 😭 it feels like im an imposter when I know somethings wrong and I just want help.
|
ADHD
|
Does anyone constantly feel tense, instead of being bombarded by intrusive thoughts you are just constantly worried you are on the verge of acting on them
|
OCD
|
Just can't resist to do so I always wanna confess because I'm afraid if I'm being a bad person just wanna do the right thing OCD is truly so draining you guys feeling like this too?
|
OCD
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.