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Pretty much what the title says. Idk if I even really want to bother doing it anymore. I'm like a disposal tissue, someone you only talk because you happend to be there and forget by the end of the day.
I never seem to form meaningful friendship, and even now where i happened to go to a school mainly for people on thr spectrum, I still never seem to find any.
Listening in on the conversations happening in the room is depressing, everyone talking about how they did something the other day or have plans with friends later, meanwhile I'm home alone with my Cat drinking by my self with only game characters to keep me company.
It's not like I'm not trying to form friendships, I'm generally a likeable person apparently and get told that I'm approachable, but that dosnt seem to matter much. Despite my best efforts to pull every trick in the book nothing seems to stick. No amount of "Oh, i like that game too" or "yea that I'm really passionate about as well" seem to escalate to more than one socialisation session if I'm lucky and nothing more.
Was playing stardew valley with a person from my school a few weeks back and despite deals and seemingly enthusiasm about continuing, it never really happend.
Or that environmental group that i and another from school attempted to start over a year ago.
Could go on for ages, but why do.
I'm just incredibly burned out.
Even my mums life is more thrilling.
Sorry for the rant.
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aspergers
|
Sometimes I feel like I can just let people do whatever they want even if it's detrimental to me because I don't see myself as someone who matters enough to try to have boundaries. Besides, I'm incredibly dissociated and disconnected all the time anyway. If they want to do what makes them happy I might as well let them, because I know I can handle it. And at least I'm doing something positive for them. I never, EVER overstep anybody else's boundaries though. Wouldn't dream of it. I don't want to hurt them. I can handle being hurt though, and I don't matter. I'm not even human. I have zero wants, preferences or desires except maybe to not exist
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ptsd
|
This is a crosspost from the CPTSD sub. Sorry if this is against the rules. I may not have chosen the right flair for this either.
Pete Walker's and Bessel van der Kolk's books seem like the trauma gold standard, broadly speaking, but are there sources that talk more specifically about ongoing traumatic experiences that people had when they were already adults? I'm having a hard time finding information about this. I'm only really finding articles about dealing with childhood trauma as an adult rather than trauma experienced as an adult, or how to cope with PTSD at work rather than ongoing workplace-created trauma.
This is only thread on this sub I've been able to find so far mentioning it. I also stumbled across a twitter thread from a few months back talking about workplace trauma, which was very validating, but I'm looking more for informational stuff than personal anecdotes.
Thanks. Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this or if I'm overlooking something obvious.
|
ptsd
|
Does depression become “normal” after having it for so long without medical attention and just something that one lives with? Even after suicidal thoughts and still getting them from time to time
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depression
|
TL;DR:
I get emotional (teary) very easily and sometimes over odd things.
People notice it's unusual.
Can anyone else relate or explain why this happens/ if it's a less commonly known ADHD trait.
Longer version:
I'm just curious is anyone else finds their eyes welling up frequently? Not actually crying but very close. Sometimes I also fully cry over these things (examples below) but more often it's just borderline (wet eyes, on the verge of crying).
I feel things deeply and I can be moved by all sorts of stuff very easily. It stands out as being quite unusual in comparison to others. It can be a bit embarrassing because often it seems strange if it happens at an odd time. My mum is similar so I think it's a brain wiring thing, (I'm pretty sure my mum has undiagnosed servere inattentive ADHD).
Examples of triggers that get my eyes welling up very easily:
1. Movies /TV with anything remotely "touching"
2. Anything to so with children for some reason, including reading children's books to my kids. Even children's tv shows can trigger my emotions and they don't necissarily need to be sad to make me well up.
3. Anything to do with old people being sad or lonely
4. Seeing someone else cry
5. Emotional music or music with touching lyrics/ good books to do with relationships /feelings etc
6. Watching good live performances of theatre or dance/ music etc
7. Animals being hurt, lonely or mistreated
8. Trees being cut down
9. Seeing people treated badly or without basic resources like housing etc.
10. Abuse or neglect
....and many more things can trigger me!!! I know a lot of this is common stuff but for me it is definitely more frequent than it seems to be for a average person.
Other times I feel very disconnected and things that upset others don't affect me at all. It's very confusing!
I'm just curious if this is more common in the ADHD community. I'm currently waiting for my neuropsych assessment report to see if I will meet the criteria for an ADHD (inattentive type) diagnosis.
Thanks for reading if you get this far :)
*Edited to add short version at the top.
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ADHD
|
Like holy shit when someone asks me to tell them about myself or asks what my hobbies are I’m at a loss.. it’s so embarrassing! and fck the fact of what anyone thinks of me- EYE think that’s awful like wtf be more interesting please😫
I have noticed this pattern since I was a young child, that, if I’m not immediately good at something I won’t do/learn/stick with it.
Piano, violin, rollerskating, snowboarding, drawing, dancing, reading, makeup, painting, theater/acting/signing, you name it and I’ve likely tried it. But have I ever stuck with it?! No!!! And now I’m just a 19 soon to be 20 year old with no interests other than music fashion and nature😭
There *are* things I’m interested in, but I’m behind in life struggling to get a job rn and most of these things I can’t afford like sewing my own clothes because I can’t afford to just go n buy a sewing machine, or I’m also scared I’ll lose interest in a few weeks or less.
What are some hobbies or interests you have that don’t require much money/effort/skill? Please share! I hate feeling so boring and bored 😫😕
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ADHD
|
I don't know what to do. Last year, after going back and forth for 5~ years, I finally decided to give antidepressants a try. I started with Zoloft in Nov. 2020, after a few months I realized that it was just making me more depressed, so I talked to my doctor and got put on Wellbutrin as well as staying on the Zoloft.
Well, a few more months go by and I was still more depressed than I was, So I talked to my doctor again and got off of Zoloft but stayed on Wellbutrin. A few more months after that I felt better than I did when I was on Zoloft, but I still felt worse than when I did when I first started. So, we ended up adding Prozac with the Wellbutrin.
Another few months go by and it was similar to Zoloft, it just made me feel more depressed than I was, so about a month ago I got off of Prozac, while staying on Wellbutrin and It's the same thing, I feel better than when I was on Prozac but still worse than when I first started.
Now, I don't know what the fuck to do. I've been depressed and had social anxiety for almost 10 years now and It took a lot for me to finally give antidepressants a try. However, since trying them I have lost all hope. I have no motivation to try another antidepressant because I don't have any hope that it could help at all now, and I'm kind of scared to just get off of Wellbutrin because what if it doesn't help, and I'm still worse off now then when I started. Should I get off Wellbutrin then maybe try Prozac again since I never tried it without Wellbutrin?
I really feel like I'm just going to be this fucked up forever, I've lost all the little hope I had at somehow feeling better one day. I don't know what to do, I'm just fucking lost
|
depression
|
It's been seven years. Nothing has changed lately, but I've been having nightmares so bad I don't even want to fall asleep anymore.
I haven't been sleeping well. I feel like shit at work all day, or sleep all morning on my days off. I'm so tired of this. I just want to hear if anyone got past it. I'm taking the meds, I'm going to therapy, and it's not getting any better.
Really making me question why I'm spending all this time and money on therapy and doctors if nothing ever gets any better
|
ptsd
|
I got a referral from my PCP for a psychiatrist to test me for ADHD. I'm scared. I check off like 8/10 in the ADHD symptoms list, but I've never thought about having ADHD until now. And yes, it's immensely affecting my daily life which is why I'm seeking treatment(I'm the type that would totally put it off if it hadn't gotten this serious).
But I'm worried. What is I'm just inherently lazy? I read somewhere that it's determined by some computer perception test. I'm pretty sure my perception is fine. I did it for a research study 2 years ago(it was a study on an experimental vitamin test on your IQ), and I'm pretty sure I did fine on it, though I have no idea how I did on it because you're not supposed to know the result.
|
ADHD
|
My highest score was a 127 in Verbal Intelligence - which is classified in the “high superior” range; I also had a perfect score for verbal recall - which my neuropsychologist said he’d never seen before in his 30+ years of administering this testing (the Weschler Full-Scale Intelligence Quotient). My lowest score was a 77 - in Non-Verbal Intelligence - which is classified in the “Borderline” category. These scores are highly representative of my massive struggles with math/science & my life-long proficiency in reading, and especially - writing. I found my scores to be very fascinating - as the highest/lowest scores had an exact 50 point discrepancy between them / which, to my knowledge as a senior psychology major - that is the highest amount of “difference” between scores that standardized IQ testing can identify - that is, a full 5 standard deviations. Anyone care to share their results? (Remember: IQ is just one (man-made) measure of intelligence - and that eventually in the future, this test will likely be replaced with a more accurate one.)
|
ADHD
|
I have a long history of sexual, physical, psychological abuse as a child. My trauma has managed to carry on into my adult life. I have the worst luck and decent men never want me.
My most recent ex only talks to me because he feels bad about my trauma. It’s making me feel worse about myself. I still like this person and wish there could have been more but I’m sure this person is only responding to me still out if guilt.
|
ptsd
|
Hey there, so as a kid I've always hade a bit of an identity problem. Now by identity problem I don't necessarily mean gender identity or cultural identity or anything like that, but a problem with determining how I should function, dress, talk, etc. according to my "true self". For example, whenever I wear clothes that I feel like "isn't my style", I'll literally feel repulsed or physically uncomfortable in the clothes and have to change into something I feel fits me better. It also sort of affects the way I talk. I get extremely frustrated with myself when I am not able to find words as my brain tells me that my true self has a colorful vocabulary. This frustration reached the point where I have literally downloaded wordfinding apps for people recovering from strokes in order to expand my use of words.
Unfortunately it's also affected my relationship with my girlfriend of one year. My brain likes to tell me that my "true self" is a free spirit and wild in a way, and that by being with my girlfriend I'm violating and restricting myself and my true potential. This has particular theme of ROCD began over a year ago but has fizzled down to the point where my compulsions barely work anymore and I'm beginning to almost believe that these thoughts are truly my intuition. Even saying that does not scare me anymore or make me anxious like it would. I just simply accept it.
I'm just curious if a need to keep myself in check with how I dress, think, act, etc. almost obsessively in order to "stay true to myself" is indicative of any subtype of OCD.
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OCD
|
So without fully getting into the back story, I'm gay and as a child I was sexually abused for years and a year ago, I was raped in a hotel room on vacation. Sex has never been that enjoyable for me. I've had a lot of different partners over the years but they were all pretty spaced out. I've had some boyfriends, most only lasted a few months and one other one that was serious fell apart because of my sexual issues. I just really am not into sex unless it's totally under my terms and me wanting it. I get massively turned off if I'm not in the mood and someone is hitting on me which makes it so hard to hold a relationship.
The thing is though, most of the time I'm having sex whether it be a random hookup or SO, while it's happening I just want it to be over. The events leading up to sex have always turned me on way more than actual sex which is why I've had so many different partners I think. As far as intemacy goes, I feel more intiment hanging out or cuddling with someone. Sex just grosses me out mostly.
Ever since I was raped though, I haven't had much sex. This is my first relationship after I was raped and it's really hard. My boyfriend just wants sex but whenever he's flirting with me or we actually are having sex, I just get pissed off and stressed and then depressed after. While it's happening, I just get those feelings I felt when I got raped. And it's not like he's doing anything wrong really, but I can't help it. And the fact that I feel this way and have to go forward with it makes me juat hate sex so much more.
I have let him know about my past and he understands and he tries to be considerate but I don't think he truly knows the gravity of the situation and my feeling towards sex. I want to let him know without it coming off that I'm pissed at him and he's doing anything wrong. For someone who hasn't gone through what I have then I can understand not knowing what it feels like and I want to let him know I'm not mad at him, but I just really cannot have sex that often and when I want to, it's just gotta be when I want it which does happen occasionally.
It really sucks, I don't want to be like this and just want to have a normal relationship with my partner but it's so fucken hard when you just get sent into massive depressions because of sex.
|
ptsd
|
Last year i got into spirituality and manifesting. That was also the time my ocd went to the roof(didnt know it could be ocd) and i was at one of the lowest point of my life. I suffered mainly from rocd and hocd. It really fucked with my head and still does because i believed everything i saw was a sign, i tried to manifest my anxious thoughts and anxiety away and i believed my every bad thought would create my reality. Now thankfully my rocd is under control and Im still really into spirituality BUT: how the fuck do i know the difference between intuition and anxiety? And how do you guys balance ocd and spirituality? Its really hard for me because i cant trust my own thoughts sometimes. I have been pushing my spiritual side away because balancing between both is hard.. Any advice?
|
OCD
|
I have already been diagnosed with OCD but to be honest I feel so in denial that I have it. Probably because I have had a few days where I haven’t had much triggers or need to do the behaviors. My behaviors manifest in constant checking of my bank account (compulsive budgeting), checking for reassurance that I still am in love with my partner (possible ROCD), and being super meticulous about having things in order and a high level of perfectionism.
I read up another sub in OCPD and had thought it really was that. So unfortunately I am really confused at the difference. Which is feeding my denial.
Is there a main difference between the two??
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OCD
|
Daily life has become a struggle parents get on about my grades. Adhd dosent quite qualify as a real mental Illness so i dont get much help or understanding. I wish i could do things that make me feel happier and fufufilled but i can't even function without a damn pill everyday. Do you guys have any advice that's not textbook like "physical exercise is known to increase seratonin levels. or sum bull like that.
|
ADHD
|
i feel like i neglect my needs, my desires, my projects, my family, my friends, when all i want in the world is to focus on all of these things. yet, i still sit here. i can’t help but just wonder what the fuck is wrong with me and why i have to be like this
|
depression
|
There has been mass amounts of change in my life. One of the biggest changes is I have a job that I enjoy dearly, but I am not adjusting well.
I work at research institute on my campus as a Research Assistant doing mostly data entry (sitting in an office space) but sometimes in the field (in the water). The project revolves around climate data and ecological restoration. It's a dream come true to be a part of it which is silly, but I'm happy. However, the change gives me large amount of anxiety revolve around me doubting my ability to enter numbers in a computer. The research tech I work with is amazingly nice and I enjoy working with her so much.
This is my first job not in retail or animal care. I am used to dealing with people all the time, I could mask a lot better because everyone is being fake. To be happily interact within those circles, you must give off the impression you are sociable and charismatic whilst giving up a form of autonomy over yourself.
Here, I have autonomy over myself and my schedule. I can come, leave, go to the bathroom, eat lunch, etc. whenever I want. This change has been nice, but cause a lot of confusion. I interact with people, minimally, but I am always around them. I don't mind, it is nice to have a job where I am around people, but occasionally complete alone. What causes problems for me is small talk, check-ins, my ability to not understand anything without thorough explanation even if it is basic, my anxiety over social etiquette, and the way I feel out-of-place both as a both student and autistic person. I can feel when I make mistakes or when people are confused by my behavior.
I feel obliged to explain my behavior despite though I know I shouldn't have to unless my behavior is brought to my attention verbally by someone else. I haven't done anything bad, but I despise feeling "quirky" and I'm truly not sure if I am seeming "quirky" (Quirky kind of feels like an autistic slur /hj). I'm not sure if it would even accomplish something anything other than making me feel better for a bit.
(I see a therapist. I'm bringing it up to him when we meet.)
|
aspergers
|
Hey friends, so I'm scrolling through reddit and saw [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/DidntKnowIWantedThat/comments/rbzxgx/never_seen_this_toy_before_looks_pretty_fun/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) and tried to cross post it here, but I figured I'd ask you guys if you use any fidget devices or if you're looking for one.
I also figured just a general discussion about fidget toys would be interesting.
|
ADHD
|
I feel myself getting worse and I know why. and it's only going downhill from here and i don't know what to do i'm completely lost
|
ptsd
|
Hate this shit so much… it’s just like this feeling in my head making me feel I’m going insane.
|
OCD
|
I have been feeling lost. A numbing out of body feeling. My head feels fuzzy and heavy all the time. I’m looking out of strangers eyes…I feel so disconnected from the people I use to feel the closest too. I feel I’m doing every single thing wrong and I just want everyone to move on and forget about me. I am losing control of something, and I don’t know what that something is. I’m just struggling. And I want to feel better. I just…don’t know how.
|
depression
|
Hey everyone. I don’t know where else to go for support. I text my family daily but it’s mostly angry texts that are ignored. My brothers simply don’t respond to anything I say anymore. My parents respond but typically it’s along the lines of go for a walk or go to a treatment center.
Things have gotten kinda bad. I have had really severe bouts of depression and dissociation. Essentially there are times I don’t even feel alive or in my body. I feel empty like a ghost. I don’t know where else to reach out because I basically spend a majority of my time alone. My therapists have said I need treatment again. I have been there multiple times and maybe I’m supposed to go back idk. Anyway just wanted to say something to someone. Because Im along most of the time and it’s pretty damn isolating and meaningless and painful to be alone. I hope you have a good night and I wish everyone well.
|
OCD
|
I'm diagnosed with MDD and PTSD/C-PTSD. I've been medication resistant for, well, since I started seeking treatment in the 1980s. I can't tolerate typical SSRI/SNRIs. I'm currently on Wellbutrin and cannabis, which work to varying degrees... Arguably the cannabis does more to mediate my symptoms than any other medication I've tried. I'm also in talk therapy
My presciber just put me on ketamine nasal spray, 50mg every other day.
It's been three treatments, and I feel like my depression is getting stronger, not better. It's certainly not the miracle I was promised (one dose relieves symptoms for up to 2 weeks!)
I'm not trying to discourage anyone from trying it, but I'm feeling discouraged because I was really, really hoping I could get relief.
Anyone else have any experience with it?
|
ptsd
|
Alcohol eases my anxiety more than any anti depressant out there. I get a glimpse into what being a NT is like and it feels amazing. I’m able to make eye contact with strangers and I don’t think twice about social cues. The problem is though, I lose that “filter” and I say and do some very insulting things and can upset people. Alcohol really does borrow happiness from tomorrow. The morning after drinking, I’m left feeling anxious and embarrassed about my previous night’s actions. I wish I could enjoy a night out without having to consume copious amounts of alcohol.
|
aspergers
|
Long story short, i was talking to a fellow adhd-er in my class and she said she didn’t register with the school for accommodations because her mom did and it hindered her ability to become a nurse — is this true? I know the AADA is supposed to prevent stuff like this but it still nagging me. there’s a very real possibility the girl didn’t know what she was talking about or just doesn’t want to be labelling “disabled” but i still wanted to ask
|
ADHD
|
I realized a long time ago that the cause of my ocd is porn. It was the source this entire time, but I never realized until recently. Porn has ruined my life. I hate it with a burning passion, but I keep coming back to it. Porn is like a fake friend. It makes you feel good in the moment but completely fucks you over and stabs you in the back afterwards. I started watching porn since I was 13. I knew it was bad, but my life was boring and I needed to spice it up a little bit and I thought porn was doing that, but with each year that passed by I became more and more miserable. At age 14 I had suicidal thoughts every single day. Once I hit 15 HOCD started and I couldn’t get over it, finally at 16 I got over it, but then pocd rolled around, and now I’m stuck with false/uncertain memories. I am 100% certain that all this spawned from porn. I’m 17 right now. I’m at an age where I should start thinking about my future and my choices but I’m just too miserable and tired to do anything, but I’ll try to change that. I’m going to start working out and losing weight because I’m very overweight right now, and I will attempt to quit porn for good. If anyone reading this is an avid porn watcher, please stop. It might be ruining your life without you even knowing. All of my sadness and guilt spawned from porn. Please take good care of yourself.
|
OCD
|
So my gf and i have been together for 5 months now. She has OCD which i know for about one month.
Today she told me about the party she was on and what she said was since the party started she didn't feel like she's in relationship with me and she felt like she's acting like single(before even drinking) -
Caring about if other people are paying attention to her, she liked one guy by his looks and she said she knew he's flirtous even though married and at some time she gave him a look and he gave one (flirting as she said) look to her (didn't say exactly what type and how long the look was but it was meant to make let him see she's paying special attention to him).
Also she said there was another guy that didn't pay attention to her so when someone asked question about how old is she, she responded how old does she looks (to make this another guy join the conversation and be interested in her). She had cheating thoughts by whole this time. In the beginning she tried to push thoughts away but later just went with it.
After some time when someone other made ambiguous text to her (in public not private) she responded that she has a boyfriend.
She said she's worried that she had a feeling if someone would try to push on hitting on her she was afraid she wouldn't resist but also said that in reality she wouldn't want to cheat and that propably wouldn't happen.
She was really guilty and told me about this right after, couldn't sleep at night and said she loves me. Whole the relationship she was loving to me.
I was very supportive with her ocd explained it to her so she was getting better, we were happy whole the time but now i lost my faith that it's only thoughts but actions as well. Her (girl)friend who was with her said she didn't really see like she did something to hit on someone, but she didn't have to see those small signs and my gf's actions were made with bad intentions what is killing me right now.
I used to say that i trust her because she can control the actions even if she doesnt control the thoughts because OCD.
I just want to know if it's ocd or herself not trustworthy? I don't need sweet words about everything gonna be alright, i just want to know if it's safe relationship for me and if i can trust her as the mother of my children sometime.
|
OCD
|
I'll start off with saying my whole family on my Dad's side has ADHD, I remember my brother getting diagnosed and went on meds, I remember my cousins getting diagnosed and they went a natural way?
I've been doing research and I'm pretty sure I have ADHD, and I see it in my Son 100%
My question is, is it worth getting him diagnosed? What do they do with a diagnosis? Do they just put him on medication to focus? My oldest has Autism, and my son I suspect adhd has gone to therapy with us his whole life so he's been getting it as well...
What would you do??
My oldest is 5, my son I suspect eith ADHD is 4.
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ADHD
|
I can't relax because I feel that I need to watch violent scenes from movies/tv shows and that I have to make my loved ones watch them... how do I stop these intrusive thoughts
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OCD
|
Idk how to explain it but I always have like 1 million things going through my mind at once. And lately idk if it’s because of school and I’m more stressed now. I feel like my mind is messy. I can’t focus on a single thought without the background noise of 5 other thoughts. And sometimes it helps to write it all down but I get distracted half way through and end up forgetting most of it. Idk what to do. Not being able to feel at peace gives me so much anxiety and makes all my responsibilities that much harder to do. Any advice?
|
ADHD
|
Listen, completing MOST of an 8 week course by working 36 hours straight is the closest thing to success I have had in a long while - leave me alone!
SOOOOO long story real short.
I have tried doing my school work for over 20 hours each week and at the end of this 8 week course I completed one assignment. I have no idea how, I was a MESS. Anyway, I asked her for a 2 day extension and starting at 7 AM yesterday I literally worked on school and only stopped to use the bathroom. I have never had my mind shut up. And for so long. I literally worked through the night and barely felt it. then I worked all day. So it was supposed to be done at midnight tonight but I realized I was going to be cutting it real close so I asked her for until the morning to get it done. She agreed, I promptly took a break.
That, my friends, was a mistake...
I am now back at my desk trying to finish the final 3 assignments and I cant focus for shit. I am moving around hopping my leg twirling my beard looking things up watching youtube "just real quick". in over 2 hours I have barely made a shoddy chart on Microsoft word.
AHH
P.S.
I used my new SONY M4 headphones the entire time. I charged them up for maybe a half hour, other than that they lasted the entire time and my ears only started to hurt maybe 36 hours in. Incredible.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk -
peace
|
ADHD
|
Has anybody had a relative or close friend mock your compulsions?
For example, a long time ago my mother (I'm 27 F), after I did one of my regulars ( quite funny ) said " wow why are you doing this? Maybe I should start doing it too??" And laughed in my face, which kind of annoyed me but my mother is known for her 'emotional support '.
But, recently I went out with a group of my closest friends, and as we exited the car I had to check it was locked ( I'm obsessing about numbers so it's a lot of checking) and he asked me, jokingly, if I'm done with my "autism", which really hurt my feelings because he knows I have OCD and depression.
I want to clarify that we have dark humor and we do say these things about ourselves as well, but for some reason it made my heart sink.
Sorry for the long text and thank you for listening to my TED talk.
|
OCD
|
I was dreaming and in it I was going to a porn site and all of a sudden I see a guy pulling out his dick and I woke up in shock with half a boner. I'm terrified from this and it makes me more scared to sleep
|
OCD
|
My hunch is that autistic people are more likely to be atheists or agnostic than the general population. I don't think it's merely a stereotype to say that we tend to be logical and less prone to automatically believing what most people believe, and that most of us have experienced a profound alienation from mainstream society. Edit: By which I mean to say that we approach things differently, not that we are people of superior logical ability, or smarter or otherwise better than NTs.
Personally, I was raised Protestant. My entire family is hyper-religious. I became an agnostic atheist at age 13, when I first had access to the internet. I became deeply disillusioned with mindless theism. Having said that, I could also see us becoming interested in religion or spirituality because of our curiosity.
Are you also non-religious? Were you raised to follow a particular faith?
|
aspergers
|
How do you study?
Hi so I’m kind of new to this lol. I have always found it pretty hard to study. Not only focusing on the work but just getting started with it. For example, like when I want to work, I’d keep my phone away but I stay with my laptop cos I need it. Then I’d end up starting and not finishing so many assignments or readings. Or I just go down a rabbit hole on a non important and minute subject. But the good thing, sort of, is that when I absolutely NEED to work, I’d definitely get the work done. Still some distractions but not enough to stop me from working.
Does anyone have any tips for studying efficiently?
Also, side question, does this happen to you often when your eyes skip over things that are directly in front of you or something like that? For example, I went to the store to get drugs and I was 100% sure that I picked the drug I was looking for but when I got home, I found out that it was the wrong one. I went back to the store and I found out that the drug wasn’t even at that aisle at all. And this sort of thing happens a LOT
|
ADHD
|
I've had a few recent incidents where I felt a little more rage than usual for something completely insignificant, And think it might be best to talk to somebody about coping skills.
I really want to find somebody who is knowledgeable with ADHD, And I don't want to go to a physical office for a therapist.
Does anybody else use these apps? Are they cost effective? Are they effective effective?
Or, if anybody can recommend a therapist for online appointments they can recommend, I would greatly appreciate it.
|
ADHD
|
TL;DR: Have not taken a good break from meds in a while and forgot how much I normally crave junk food (and how distracting it can be).
​
I've had a pretty busy semester of grad school, and the last 6 weeks in particular have been incredibly busy for me, working many long days in a row without taking very many breaks from my meds. I typically take a day or two off per week but recently I've been using meds A LOT to get by; I take Vyvanse in the morning and then an Adderall bumper in the afternoon if needed (like if I'm super busy or need to stay focused later in the day). While they've been super helpful during this time, I recognize that I need to take a break and remember what my brain is like "normally", and perhaps allow my tolerance to settle a bit (not really sure because it's not like they've stopped working at any point, but it feels like I needed a break due to many days maxing out my doses).
So, here I am, taking a little break from the meds for a few days and **I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT FOOD**. Wow, I forgot how much this impacted me; I just keep craving junk food. This is easily exacerbated if I'm feeling bored or useless for even a moment. Some moments I'm craving sweet foods, some moments its salty snacks. Most of the time its just food that isn't particularly good for me. Of course it must have something to do with dopamine, but damn, I forgot this feeling.. and how much I hate it. Its so distracting! To make matters worse, I live just steps away from the local market, where snacks are not in short supply.
I'm super grateful that the meds curb habits that ADHD creates for me, but man it just makes me wish that I didn't have to take meds to feel like a *normal* person.. ugh. It does help if I can keep busy and work on a task/run errands, but since I'm taking a break from work/school for the holidays and from my meds, I keep finding myself getting distracted by this overwhelming sense that I need to eat junk! I also feel useless because my school work has consumed me for so long that I don't even know what to do with myself (creating an endless desire to eat junk food).
I guess I forgot how much mental capacity that I use to control my cravings!
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ADHD
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Have any of you heard of the above? Its like some thing that may become unstable and destroy the universe. Looking for ways to cope with the possibility of it happening.
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OCD
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I apologize if the title sounds stupid or if the formatting is off. I'm using mobile.
My dad was extremely abusive up until about a year ago as a result of alcoholism. Most of it was verbal abuse, sometimes it was physical. When it was physical, it was bad though. I was pretty okay until a few years ago, when my mom and I confronted him about his behavior, and he took it badly. It was a very long and scary argument, and it ended with him attempting to throw a circular saw at me. I have thought about it nearly every day since then, and it's caused many problems in my day to day life. Notably any illicit substances, including legal ones and prescription drugs, make me extremely nervous. I get really quiet and I think about all of the shit he did to me, and sometimes start crying. It's awful. And it's only going to get worse when I go to college in a few months.
Is there a way for me to get a diagnosis without my parents knowing under 18? My mom would be heartbroken to know how much my dad's actions really affect me, and my dad would, I don't know. I don't like to think about that.
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ptsd
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Would like the input of people here who have both.
I’m diagnosed with Aspergers. I know there is some comorbidity between the conditions, but what about someone diagnosed with both conditions is different from someone only diagnosed with Aspergers?
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aspergers
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Yea, since the pandemic started everything has gone downhill. I have had depression for like 4 years but this year i reached my peak. Can't find a job, can't keep a job because of anxiety and depression, i started smoking a lot of weed to run away from my problems and now i'm kinda stucked... I'm not doing the worst ever rn but i don't feel in control of my life and everything that i do turns bad. I feel so frustrated right now, i feel like i can't achieve anything and yea... Just writing here because i am feeling kinda fucked
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depression
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Hi all! I (33M) was recently put on 20mg of Vyvanse. Today is my fourth day, and it's already been a bit of a rollercoaster - mostly good, but somewhat inconsistent from day to day. And I fully understand that it's very early and I'm probably still adjusting to it. I have a follow-up around the 14-day mark before my prescription runs up. I'd just like to know how this compares to others' experiences on medication.
At any rate, here's how it's gone for me so far:
* Day 1: Elevated mood (nearly euphoric, but not in a manic potentially dangerous way), vastly improved working memory and focus capability. Task switching (start something, get interrupted, then going back to that thing) is a cakewalk too, no more grinding gears going from one activity to another. Executive function the best its ever been. The constant noise in my head is gone and I can actually sit in silence without darting around for stimulation. No more leg bouncing or finger-drumming on whatever surface is nearest. No irritability, and the feeling that I can finally slow down and "smell the roses" without feeling like I'm slogging through molasses. Only negative effects were a mild headache, and dry mouth. 10/10 day.
* Day 2: Euphoric feelings are gone, but still in a far better mood than I've been in for a long time. Feelings of focus and executive function still there, the noise in my head still quiet. Much less of a "hyped" feeling from the stimulant, though. Still headache, dry mouth is slightly better. 9/10 day.
* Day 3: Hardly felt anything beyond the same dull headache. Noise in my head still better. Focus was near normal pre-med status, same with executive functioning. No stimulant "hype." Dry mouth pretty much gone. 6/10.
* Day 4 (today): Definitely feeling the "hype," but now my focus is all over the place. Feeling spazzy, really. Switching tasks is about as easy as Day 1, but keeping the focus on those tasks before something else commands my attention is a bit like it was pre-medication - getting back to the task at hand is just easier. There's less "okay, wait, what was I doing again? Where was I? Headache is better, dry mouth still gone. 6/10 day.
Overall, I'd say I'm having a positive experience, just inconsistent. I haven't dealt with irritability (on the contrary, I'm downright pleasant and a LOT more patient with people). Appetite is about the same as it ever was. I take it early enough in the day that I haven't noticed it affecting my sleep in any meaningful quantifiable way. No stomach/GI issues, no nausea. But going from "this is freaking amazing" to "eh, I get some mild benefits out of it" in 4 days has me wondering how normal this sort of adjustment period is.
Thanks in advance! Long-time lurker, this seems like a wonderfully supportive community.
EDIT: Added age and sex at the top for context.
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ADHD
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Okay. So basically you guys know all the common symptoms of depression besides the mental ones. Not taking showers, not brushing your teeth/hair, not eating, overeating, etc.
One of the reasons I belittle what I've been through is because I've never fell into those habits. I don't understand what it's like to lay in my bed for weeks with matted hair not being able to shower or brush my teeth simply because I don't have the motivation. I don't understand that. I take showers regularly. I brush my teeth. I eat a fair amount. I understand all the emotional symptoms. I understand not wanting to leave my bedroom, not wanting to talking to people, becoming so agitated, thinking everything is pointless, but not that. I've fell into my worst depression this year and before then I've been depressed for 5 years. I won't go into details about it, but I just have these questions.
Can a mentally ill person go on about their lives and still be really sick? Is this a valid reason to belittle what I'm going through because these are the "normal" symptoms depressed people experience, and I don't?
Ps. I know I'm making this sound competitive, but not experiencing the worst and wanting to not be here everyday just makes me invalidate my emotions questioning if what I even feel is real.
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depression
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[Post is from](https://reddit.com/r/autism/comments/psri6l/what_are_your_views_on_pornography/) /r/autism.
> No one else asked this question and I got curious so...
> # My views on porn
> ---
> I don't see porn as harmful or beneficial; from what I researched about the effects of porn, a fair amount of studies have some bias and the results (mostly the abstract) are distorted. Ultimately the data I got was too inconclusive to be sure.
> If you can incorporate porn into your life without it being harmful, then I don't see anything wrong with porn.
# Addendum
Since ADHD reduces dopamine levels, A person with ADHD is more prone to getting addicted than a normal™ person, there could theoretically be a higher chance of getting addicted, though the effects are temporary.
I also looked into sex worker rights movements, and I quickly took hold of the opinion that **sex workers deserve rights**, and that they allow safe way of having sex with a human, without dependencies.
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ADHD
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Hey guys!
Do you have sometimes intrusive thought scream. Like : looking at picture of people screaming and then hear screaming ( in head as inner voice) is imagination . But that makes me anxious and. Then because i think of it i get scream , ( like when you imagine scraming in head but its intrusive) . Its the same when someone said to you : dont think of image of elephant , guess what your brain will automatically think of it .
Thanks for your answer:)
Edit: writing on reddit is part of my compulsion, whenever i wrote i post i feelt much better and my intrusive thoughts are gone haaha.
And sorry for my English!
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OCD
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I just self harmed again
After months being clean i just did it again in a way ive never done before
I feel like im losing or ive already lost my mind
My clothes and my arms are covered in blood and my cat is so scared i feel so so bad. My baby cat is just staring at me while i do this and i feel horrible im so so so sorry
I dont wanna upset my family or my friends or my pets, im really really sorry they have to go through this because of me
Im so sorry i self harmed again. Im so sorry
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aspergers
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Im too tired to even explain what’s wrong everything is overly complicated im tired i just want to be happy but i dont deserve it, i kist want to die
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OCD
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TW: Mentions of hurting self.
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Alright, so i'm not exactly diagnosed with OCD, but from my understanding, I have most of the symptoms for it (e.g. obsessive/intrusive thoughts, compulsions, yada yada). So some of my obsessive/intrusive thoughts are stabbing myself, sticking sharp objects into my body, breaking my own bones, etc. And I'll get strong impulses to do these things, a common one of those impulses is wanting to stab myself right in the middle of my stomach, but of course, I don't have the guts to actually do that, so what I do instead to satisfy that impulse/compulsion thingie is I'll dig my thumb's fingernail into my stomach right in the area where I want to stab myself.
So my question is, should I try to stop doing that? Like, should I see a therapist about it or something? Is that harmful and could possibly evolve into my actually hurting myself? I don't have any scars from it nor have I made myself bleed or caused any serious harm from it, but there is a bit of a mark on my stomach. Also for reference I do it at least 3 times an hour every hour that I'm awake and I started doing it like a month or so ago. If you can somehow give me advice on this that would be helpful. Thank you!
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OCD
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I’ve been coming to the realization for the past couple months that I might have OCD. It would explain a lot of things I’ve done throughout my life and periods I’ve gone through (a religious theme, an existential theme, rumination, food aversions, worry about harm, reassurance seeking, magical thinking (more so as a child), checking compulsions, bodily fixations, intrusive thoughts, and now a contamination theme). However, I need to start the process of looking for a therapist to evaluate me because the LCSW I’ve been seeing for anxiety and depression cannot diagnose. Since realizing I might actually have OCD, I have been over-analyzing everything I do and have become hyper-aware of almost every thought and action I take and trying to figure out if it means I have OCD. I also keep worrying that I’m just being ridiculous and faking it and am a fraud for saying I might have OCD. I keep researching symptoms and overthinking and replaying memories to see if it could be explained by OCD. It is so exhausting and is getting in the way of focusing on other things like school. If I have it, I can’t tell if this is a symptom. Has anyone currently diagnosed with OCD experienced this in the period before their diagnosis but after coming into awareness about potentially having it? Sorry about all that rambling I’m just super lost about all this! And thank you for reading!
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OCD
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Hello so basically im diagnosed with asd and also i have a pretty severe case of sensory processing disorder - i cant stand the feeling of paper and sometimes it can even cause me to have physical symptoms. I was wondering if anyone has the same experience and **most importantly does anyone have anyways of overcoming it?**
I'm starting sixth form college this september and i really need to change this. thanks!
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aspergers
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So after finally ringing the dr for an appointment after putting it off for so long I had the call back today. I have a note on my phone with all my little quirks etc that have me convinced I had adhd. Outlined some of these concerns to the dr to be told he doesn’t think I have adhd as “well I think all people put off the jobs they don’t want to do” and “you’ve come this far in life without a diagnosis”.
Just basically dismissed everything I was saying. I persisted in that I am convinced I have adhd and all my life I have issues and thought it was just me. I came across the symptoms of adhd when looking into autism as my child is different too - a lot like I was as a child! For the penny to drop like omg this is me I do every one of these 😂 Then lurking here and posts resonating.
He advised I get in touch with a local mental health service, to which I did and they told me they don’t actually give diagnoses for adhd they just help with mental health problems not diagnosing per se 🤦♀️
The lady on the phone was lovely they are going to ring back and go through some questions then write to my gp to recommend I get a proper diagnosis.
I guess I’m just feeling really upset and disheartened to be dismissed by the dr so easily and made to feel like I’m over reaching.
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ADHD
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I wish I have a time machine and make better choices with all the knowledge and wisdom I have now.
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ptsd
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I hate my condition. I hate being unable to think differently, to not be able to let go of old thoughts. I hate my inflexible thinking process.
I can't do new things, I'm actually afraid and anxious when I'm told to do something in a new and different way let alone without guidance.
I hate my condition, I want to be normal. I pray to be normal.
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aspergers
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Hello everyone! I'm new here and I'm a 18 year old female. I just wanted to share my experience with ocd and meet people who maybe felt something similar and give ideas to cope! This is my story...
My ocd started very early( when I was just 6/7 years old). I had problems with anxiety even before that (bad family life and bad upbringing...). It started with constant cleaning and washing things around me and hands. I was scared of numerous plants because I thought they were poisonous, such as ones in my school or at home. I was very scared of illnesses and that's why I constantly washed my hands and cleaned what I possibly could as a kid that I got eczema. My parents didn't really care , and I never really knew what was my problem. I got bullied too.
As time went by my OCD didn't went away... It just changed its form. It started with religious rituals such as crossing myself whenever I felt in danger. It was until I started to feel scared of everything that had a slight similarity to devil( Numbers 666,6,3,9,18, any object that had spikes or something looking like horns, sharp objects). Then I started crossing myself millions of times per minute but only in my head cuz I was so ashamed if I see something spiky for instance outside or in the bus. I started to fear colors and sounds as well. I had awful rituals involving superstitions too. I think I was spending at least half a day just doing my rituals and being scared. That was on going for years. But , how did I make it thru?
I started to feel that my ocd is not who I really am. OCD isn't me for real , but actually a part of me who is just bad and doesn't know it's way back to me and healthy life. I then named my OCD. I gave it a nice name- Max. I started to have conversations with it , to ask it why it was doing what it was doing to me. We started having conversations whenever I felt like doing many many rituals. And somehow I knew that ocd isn't able to kill my free will. It was just a part of me that I was able to control as everything else. I wanted Max to be a healthy with me. And then I started to make compromises with it , talk to it and just break it's "rules". One step at a time. I'm a very imaginative person , so maybe someone out there would find this helpful! I hope everyone don't think I'm crazy haha!
I wish you guys the best! Never stop fighting!
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OCD
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I'm kinda worried. I do things like checking to make sure my alarm is on, like 10 times. Making sure my closet door is closed, everything I do has to be neat, I've feared germs for several years, and if I'm up past like 10:30 I start hyperventilating and freaking out. Do I bring this up at a check up? Or do I need to see a therapist or something?
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OCD
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My life is going down the drain, everything is fucked, and apparently nobody even gives a fuck, in fact, it looks like people step on me on purpose. I hate everyone and most importantly I hate myself.
I don't even have any dreams anymore, they're all unattainable. If it's not the past haunting me, it's the future. I'm just buying time until I finally decide to kill myself.
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depression
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Hello everyone sometimes I suffer from animal ocd zoophiliia and today I hug my dogs and get a little of precum wtff. Sometimes I have begin of érection.
I love hug him but why I have sometime flaccid erection and precum??
It happened with hocd too, last time I had warming feeling in my dick talking with a men and rarely precum
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OCD
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Hi all,
I just joined this group and I already feel so seen. I'm really struggling at my job because of my ADHD. Backstory: I am an administrative assistant at a university, and I started in July. I haven't really been properly trained, so half of the time I am figuring out what to do/ask questions. This results in taking way longer than I should be/making mistakes. My boss is too stressed to train me too and then she gets annoyed at me. So of course those negative tapes play in my head. It's vicious cycle. I've been an admin assistant before and didn't seem to have this much of a hard time. Like I should not be crying this much in my office LOL. I'm looking for another job, but any advice/support would be great.
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ADHD
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Hey guys,
(Story), question in bottom
I am deep in love with a woman, who I have been seen with for a year now.
She has never had a boyfriend and her studies is above important to her. Her OCD is mild, but they exist.
We shared an afternoon, where we sat and laid for 3 hours talking. The conversation was very forward in the beginning. That she really love me as a friend. This was harsh, as we have had minor romantic moments before.
We had a deep conversation, and I talked about my anxiety. She then told me about her OCD and childhood (which is scary close to mine), this is something she has barely shared with anyone she said.
We held hands and cuddled for all 3 hours and I had her close to my chest, while we talked about everything.
It was so hard, when we both parted, because we had such deep connection and our eyes locked.
I can't bear the feeling that this is nothing. I understand what she said, but I have hard time putting it together.
(Question)
Sorry for the story,
the reason I am here, is to ask if you have or hav had hard time binding you in romantic relationships?
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OCD
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i recently went to a therapist to help with my mental health and am on the path to a complete ocd diagnosis.
does anyone else sometimes feel like your brain is literally going to explode? it gets to the point where i will have to keep myself from downing a bunch of migraine medication because i feel like my brain is going to burst into flames from the physical pain.
on a figurative standpoint, whenever my ocd gets triggered, i have this image of a bunch of little brain dudes running around in my head with unlit torches yelling “fire!” i logically know there’s no fire (the obsessions i have that i will not name because i don’t want to potentially trigger someone) because i can tell myself that those things aren’t going to happen if i don’t do whatever compulsion since my obsessions are so ludicrous, but the little brain dudes are so loud in my head that they then convince me that those things may not be real now, but could be so i need to do the compulsion or those fires will start and then i’ll be really screwed.
the last week and a half i had nearly zero ocd-related issues and then i started obsessing over the fact that maybe i’m lying and i’m fine. which then led me down my ocd path and now i’m stuck with these brain dudes running around and trying to act normal because i have to since i work in retail. does anyone have any tips for any of this? or has anyone been diagnosed for a while and have any words of wisdom in dealing with ocd? it’s starting to ruin my life and i don’t want it to get to that point.
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OCD
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I'm in my graduate degree and for the first time in my life have a diagnosis and registered with Accessibility Services 🥳 I received letters of accomodation which I had to email to my individual profs.
One prof has responded with saying that in order to record audio of lectures I need the consent of all other students in my class. Is this a thing? The letter specifies that the audio is just for myself for study purposes. I'm not super keen to have to announce to everyone that I need to record for disability purposes.
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ADHD
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If you're reading this post, thank you for clicking. I'm doing a quick roll call looking for anyone with a technical background who's also suffering with C-PTSD symptoms
I've been researching *VRET*, the VR commonly used to treat PTSD, and fundamentally believe it has been implemented wrong from the beginning. Using the method of *exposure therapy* \- essentially replaying graphic images to army veterans to help them coagulate their war experiences and current civilian life - which in my (non-professional) mind I think is... I'm gonna say barbaric because no doubt I'll get in trouble if I say it's fucked... whoops!
Anyone interested please get in touch with some generic information about yourself, nothing identifiable, but if there's synergy and a potential to collaborate we'll have to discuss regarding an increased level of disclosure of personal information which will include NDAs amongst other things
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ptsd
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Mine is that people don't understand that it's INVOLUNTARY.
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OCD
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Im gonna try using some background noise when im sleeping
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aspergers
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Things have been feeling progressively worse. I keep staying up too late distracting myself to avoid recalling and thinking about the things that have been inflicted upon me and where I currently am as a result. I’m lucky if I’m asleep by 2:00, waking up at 6. I was up past 4 last night and turned off my alarm without waking up, got up when I should have been leaving the house at 7:20.
It seems that when I get this exhausted, I’m not able to keep my guard up and I can actually feel to an extent. It is a struggle. All I can feel is the hurt and hopelessness. It is so isolating.
I just need a hug, for someone that understands what it feels like to be in this place to hold me, tell me everything will be okay, and mean it. The only person I had took her own life last year, which makes it hurt so much worse. I failed to be there for her when she was in a similar place. I miss her so much.
I don’t know how to feel this. I don’t know how to process this. I don’t understand. I want all of this negativity to go away, but it is all I know how to feel.
Intellectually I understand that the things that were done to me were not my fault. I understand the driving factors that make me feel worthless, like I have no value to other people. I understand that this negative space makes me misinterpret my interactions with others.
Why can’t this be enough on its own to change how I process and feel? Why did so many others feel that they had the right to cause me so much harm as a child and young adult and deny me the ability to express emotions as they were inflicting this harm upon me? What gave them the fucking right to steal everything from me?
Thank you for listening. It means a lot to have this space.
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ptsd
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I'm so tired of being jumpy and afraid of sudden noises. It doesn't have to be super loud noises - car alarms, things falling, people shouting outside etc. All unavoidable as I live in a big city. I'm just constantly on edge, even at night when I'm trying to sleep. So sick of this constant hypervigilance, it is really effecting my life as I'm permanently scared/jumpy at everything.
At the moment, I'm wearing my headphones most of the day with music/podcasts. Does anyone have any tips or advice to cope?
I'm just so exhausted and want all this to stop.
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ptsd
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I am very fond of categories and I like organizing things. Categorizing gives me a sense of peace somehow, and labels are part of that. I like writing lists and sorting out the contents into different categories and I find labels to be very helpful in understanding people and myself. Example of labels would be sexuality and gender identity. I've encountered people who say things like "don't put so much value in labels" or "don't label people, we're not objects" but I don't know what to do if I can't label.
Is it common for autistic people to think this way? To find peace in categories and labels?
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aspergers
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Ps. Im bad at english
I have this need always for searching and searching things particularly self help and articles that talks about anxiety and rumination
It never stops i have gotten to the point that i am okay gained insights from what i learned from those topics but everyday from the start of my morning there is just this urge to search for articles like that .some point im fine and just out of nowhere there is just this urge again to search for something and sometimes theres no really use for those articles its just that plainly looking at it others are just some articles i read before. But i just feel safe searching. Even if im fine no anxiety whatsoever there is just something in me that wants to search for more and more it just makes me feel safe
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OCD
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A few people have asked about the fake it till you make it technique and this is basically a spin in it. Pretty simple:
I just tell myself ‘if I do the compulsion, the opposite of my intent happens’.
You’re then in a situation wherein you can either do or not do the compulsion but the result of either (to your obsession and emotional brain) would be the same. Logical brain is also appeased because you realise there’s nothing to worry about anyway.
Obviously, this isn’t a long term solution. Only posting for people who need a release from the shitstorm of OCD.
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OCD
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Last year I started learning bass guitar along with my other hobbies, drums and piano. I quickly started getting the hang of it and decided I'd choose Music as one of my A Levels. Everybody thought I'd fail since I was so inexperienced in the subject having not done them during IGCSEs.
1 year later I now have grade 8 certificates for piano, drums, bass guitar, guitar, and keyboard. I achieved an A overall for AS Level Music and have received an award from Cambridge International informing me that I had gotten the highest grade in AS Level Music in Hong Kong!
I've been diagnosed with ADHD since grade 3 primary and have been medicated for the majority of my life. Today is the best day ever! I've proved them wrong!
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ADHD
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I recently switched careers from working hands on in the medical field to now working HR interviewing people and a load of sit down work.
When I was working in the medical field I was interacting with people more often and had minimal sit down computer work but still got it done, I did great on Ritalin LA. Now that I’ve switched careers I’m horrible on Ritalin LA. I can only get my work done if I sit a certain way, have my music at a certain volume, and as soon as my attention spans it takes me hours to get back to my sit down work.
It’s almost like I have to do certain rituals to get work done. Interactions with people are so unemotional and I feel like crap after. (Reminds me a little of my college days but even then it wasn’t this bad)
Does medication work differently depending on environment, can it change throughout years? or do I just suck at sit down work. I’ve always wanted to work in HR but it’s feeling almost impossible with or without my medication. We have even gone up on my dosage too and all it does is keep me calm but my attention span is SHIT. Anyways, just venting and wondering if anyone has had a similar experience? Might have to switch stimulants or something idk feeling lost 😞
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ADHD
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Oh god I got an erection when checking erotic stories. Before I felt just twitches and my heart started beating but now I got a real erection. This happened 3 weeks ago but I cant get over it. I still check all day but I dont feel anything anymore. I got nightmares from this. I feel like in denial. Why does it come now this was never stuff I was interested. It gets worse from day to day. I seriously cant live with that anymore I get urges to kill myself but I want to live I want that everything gets back to normal.
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OCD
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Anyone else struggle with this? right now im having thoughts like “ if i am alone with no one around a medical emergency will happen “ some kind of thing
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OCD
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I’ve always heard of people’s recollection being fuzzy because of dissociation which makes perfect sense. Yet I remember my traumatic event down to every smell and touch I experienced. The order it happened and when it ended. All with precision. Is this because it left an impression of all I experienced in that moment? I hear of people remembering exactly where they were when disaster struck. Is this a bit like that? Thanks!
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ptsd
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It's so unfair. I never get a break. I go to work to "keep busy" and I'm exhausted. But then i get home and guess what? No relaxing, compulsion time!! Oh, you're going to do erp to try to get rid of it? Yeah, that'll make you just as tired as the compulsions!!
Normal people can relax and watch a tv show to unwind.
Not us. Not in this hell that is OCD.
I'm thinking of taking a year off to try and fix my mental health. Lol watch it make it 400000000 times worse.
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OCD
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Everyday I get worse. I have major nocturnal panic attacks, which leads me to sleeping all day. The fireworks for what seems like days on end are making me constantly on edge. I can barely function to have conversations and cannot take care of myself at all.
But apparently I’m not qualifying for inpatient hospitalization. I’m not suicidal or homicidal and not having active hallucinations.
I feel like I can’t leave my house, but none of the online virtual psychiatrists will see anyone with more than mild anxiety.
How am I supposed to get help?
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ptsd
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Literally everybody around me is coupled up and happy except me. I literally work alone and come home to an empty "home" after being alone all fucking day Monday through Friday. Meanwhile everyone else in my life is married and having kids and all that shit and also too busy for me most of the time. I feel like a loser and a failure because of it and the envy I feel of everyone else is just eating me alive. I just want to find someone who will choose me. Someone who will be there for me on my darkest of days and best of days both. But it feels like that's apparently too much to want or ask from anybody. I hate feeling lonely and unwanted so much. I can't live like this forever.
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depression
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I've had issues since childhood so the lock-down has been nothing in comparison regarding issues entirely. in fact being an introvert it's been mostly a blessing as i hate being social.
turn 27 in july.
adjusting from duloxetine to brintellix - duloxetine is horrible and the withdrawal from coming off them is even worse.
childhood trauma and constant nightmares/insomnia doesn't help.
i never want children. i have a boyfriend that I've been dating for 2 years (my first boyfriend - fear of men in general held me back alot. the relationship is great. but that is about the only thing going well for me. i don't work. I've been on sickness benefit for over 5 years now.
i get that having a job is supposed to mean a routine etc hence a purpose of some sort but living day to day is such a pain as it is i'm not there yet. frankly i am a coward. prior lockdown i was trying to get out of this shithole by volunteering. merely an hour a week. i lasted barely a month. on the side of that a useless company called talking changes sent me into a spiral of almost insanity - opened all the past wounds and then said they couldn't help me. i am now getting ongoing support but with lockdown it's not face to face so the 'support' is a call every 2 or so weeks.
i mostly game to get out of my head and to cope. but i am not happy. it's not a happy life to live in fear of everything all the time. if anything it is tiring and a living hell. just wish the fear would leave my head and i could manage. i can barely manage to make scrambled eggs and that's an achievement for me. it's appalling.
withdrawal brain zaps currently. nightmares are vivid and find it hard to focus on anything. even this is an effort. i probably come across as a bitch whose arrogant. i don't know any different. i have tried employment - a government job a few years back, and it made me worse.
i just don't see a future aside from meeting up with the boyfriend on the weekend (he has a car) for the forseeable future. he has a career, stable income, mortage, and is settled. doesn't have mental illness at all and supports me as best he can. but my head just overthinks constantly. i'm so weary of the world. being paranoid and fearful. i don't know what answer i'm even after. i am just lost. very fucking lost.
|
ptsd
|
Went to a local familiar place and got the good safe foods.
|
aspergers
|
Yesterday I drove to the apartment buildings where I was raped. I block most if not all of the rape out of my mind and was hoping to remember something. Some thoughts unrelated to the rape but other abuse passed through my mind, but I was okay. I think therapy is helping.
Today was a good day.
If anyone reads this, how are you doing today?
|
ptsd
|
hey this is my first post here oops. I'm 15 and recently have been showcasing symptoms of OCD and i guess I just want to know if they're normal or not. For instance when this started a few months ago I would avoid food at all costs because I was so scared of food germs spreading and if someone ate something I deemed to be dirty I would either a) ensure they washed their hands or b) if they couldn't wash their hands but touched me then I needed to wash the areas they touched me in which I would do by throwing it in the wash, spraying deodorant or discarding. I've lost a few valuable items like this. Additionally if that dirty piece of clothing were to touch my bag or desk I would clean that area too as I labelled that area as "dirty"
Recently I've been okay with food germs spreading, but it's changed into a belief pattern of "what Ifs" which I ruminate on for a long time and then to believe them. For instance this morning I woke up and remembered my phone charger was dirty (I can't remember why but I believe it's because I touched it with my foot last night) because of that I felt dirty immediately and couldn't think about anything else but that. I am proud of myself though, because I would've taken a shower and cleaned all my belongings in an extreme measure had this happened months ago, but does anyone have any tips on how to overcome whatever I'm dealing with. Thank you so much :)
|
OCD
|
We all discuss here how we need tricks and “hacks” to get through normal life without wasting time. Tell me how your list helps you. What do your lists tend to look like? How detailed or specific do you need to be?
My list today (in no particular order):
New Ethernet cord — LONG,
Garbage,
Dishes,
Xmas shopping,
Lunch,
Dinner,
Call almond lady,
Call Karen (hazmat),
Burn CD for car test,
Windows (call?) <-computer,
Light room update/workaround,
LAUNDRY!!!!,
Ship film,
B-Day cards,
Cat plates (see dishes),
Clean out truck,
Clean out car,
Murphy play/run <-dog,
Clean (pick a corner),
Charge camera batteries
My list system is that I cross out what’s done. I put a check mark next to what has been started.
|
ADHD
|
So recently I've been seeing my dad and uncle lately since taking a break off my adhd medication.
I never really knew I had adhd up until recently in my early 20s.
I have trialled Ritalin but it didn't last long so I take dex. Yet I've had a 5 day med break and my family won't stop saying that "I need to slow down", "I talk too much" "don't know how to stop talking" etc
Which I never really noticed my tendency to ramble as I've always been the quiet n shy type.
Taking a med break has made me realise I literally talk every thought aloud that comes into my head without a filter and just ramble and ramble away from my point of forgetting the topic.
Alongside speaking straight off my mind, it feels rather impulsive? I just want to know everyone's experience if similar and how do they manage ?
With impulsive speech , I also notice if something annoys me or someone rubs me the wrong way I'm pretty much quick to speak without a filter n be rather rude coz I don't pause n think (yikes I know)
|
ADHD
|
im going on a trip this weekend and i’m petrified of the drive there. last time i went for a trip i was in a very very serious car accident. now when i sit passenger seat for long distances i get carsick & very panicky. it’s really frustrating. anyone have any tips on travel anxiety, panicking, car crash ptsd?
thanks!
|
ptsd
|
I'm conditioned to get almost panicky and slightly suspicious if someone shows even the smallest amount of kindness.
|
ptsd
|
When I'm really looking forward to a specific food/drink, or even just expecting something and it goes wrong or someone eats it before me, I get weirdly ragey. I can obviously keep myself from lashing out (and NONE of it is ever directed at restaurant workers if I'm out), but I just get SO angry inside and I'm in such a bad mood, and it takes like 10-30 minutes to subside. Sometimes I just get super, super sad.
It can be situations like someone eating my leftovers that I was really looking forward to, a messed up delivery order that I can't eat anymore, or even just Starbucks running out of the drink I've been wanting all week (this usually results in the sads). I don't understand where this comes from, or what to do about it. Does this happen to anyone else?
Edit: This is all internal, and and I absolutely do not lash out at anyone. This doesn't happen every time, just sometimes when I'm *really* looking forward to something, and it's been like this for as long as I can remember.
|
ADHD
|
I'm technically undiagnosed. I have taken evaluations from my therapist, and by those, I do have it, but she isn't really qualified to give out diagnoses. I'm about 99.9% sure I have it, though.
When I hear the stories of others with diagnosed OCD, it's like looking in a mirror. *I've seen my face in textbooks. I'm cited on Wikipedia articles.*
I have been told I cling too tightly to the label. My father doesn't want me to "identify" with it because he thinks it will become my whole personality. People...people seem to think It's like a *keychain* or a *scout patch* or a *decorative pin*: I'm mentally ill. It's *sterile* and *simple* and *contained*. I put it on like an accessory when I want to feel oppressed or pitiful. "I have OCD. It hurts. Somebody feel bad. here's how I can add to this constructive discussion."
My close friends have observed how it's bled into my life. They read my *late-night text*s, they've heard my voice *waver*, they can see the *strain* behind my *charisma*. they know how closely it stings when they aim at this, at my OCD. It's my weak spot. They know, but they don't really understand. Passive comments, to them, sure, *close in on me.*
*"that sounds normal."*
*"I think I have OCD too,"*
*"you aren't mentally ill,"*
*"you aren't even diagnosed. You just started saying you had it one day."*
They don't realize how it all works inside my brain. I've thought some *fucked* things. When my heart starts racing and my hands are shaking I sit down and scroll through this sub and know the thoughts, the *feelings*, weren't real. look at me, it's the girl with *The Excuse*! The DSM 5 pumps me full of the reassurance that keeps me on this path. The one down the drain, that is. my label isn't my accessory. It's my crutch. It's the mattress on the ground floor. It's the roof over my head and the ground under my feet. It means more to me than appearances, more than I could ever express.
Because if it's true, if I don't have it,
​
​
I'll hit the ground.
it would mean that **I'm the person I'm scared of being.**
|
OCD
|
So I'm needing some input. My diet and hydration are trash. I'm working on it.
But my question is how much does does diet and hydration effect how your medication hits you?
My @Dd3r@ll most of the time calms me down and turns the blaring radio in my mind down. But some days it makes my anxiety go off the chart. Like to the point I want to quit the meds and move on to something else like underwater basket weaving lol thank and any input is appreciated.
Side Note
I don't have any noticeable improved focus or motivation that people talk about. But like I said above. My mind is so much more quite. I just don't know what normal feels like and would like some input on this as well. Thanks again
|
ADHD
|
hi everyone. for some context: I'm a graduate student living off-campus with 4 other people, and we share all common areas. I suffer from mainly contamination OCD, as well as severe emetophobia (which loves to manifest as part of my OCD, it's super fun), and one of my housemates is a huge huge huge trigger for my OCD, especially as of late. I'll readily admit that it's partially my fault as I haven't taken my meds regularly (brain told me the medication bottle was contaminated, and you know the rest). but even when I am regularly medicated, this guy is a massive trigger. for example, he licks his fingers CONSTANTLY after eating and touches EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING in this damn house has his saliva on it. And the other day, he got sick. I know (rationally) it was from drinking but it obviously still freaked me out a ton because of the phobia. The final straw was today when I stopped the dryer, ran upstairs to wash my hands quickly before touching my clean bedding, and went back downstairs to find that in the 30 seconds I was gone he had gotten up and taken my things out of the dryer. This was not a situation of me leaving things in the dryer for an hour or ten minutes or something. I was gone for less than a minute and he grabbed all my clean sheets and blankets with his "contaminated" (according to my brain) hands and stuck it on top of the washing machine, which happened to be covered in dust from the lint trap that I cleaned out earlier. Now I have to rewash everything, but I don't even want to do that because he washes his clothes in that washing machine and I can't convince my brain that it's clean. My brain is telling me that if I wash my bedding in the washing machine, it'll just get germs from him on it, because now the washing machine is dirty because he washed his clothes in it, including the clothes he wore when he was sick from drinking the other night.
Suffice to say that I'm ridiculously distraught now, sobbing and sleeping on a bare mattress with bare pillows and freezing my butt off because everything is dirty and I just don't feel like I can fix it. It's all so overwhelming and I just want it to go away but no matter what I do it doesn't go away.
|
OCD
|
So I have been diagnosed with ocd, but I believe that I may largely have pocd in particular. However, the way I've heard it described by most people doesn't really fit my experience and I'm wondering if I'm kind of wrong. I've usually heard it described as intrusive or obsessive thoughts of comitting sexual acts with children combined with compulsions, but that's not really what I experience. It's less so that but more intrusive/obsessive thoughts about me possibly being a pedophile or becoming one (with pretty much zero evidence) combined with compulsions, not nessescarily unwanted thoughts about comitting sexual acts against children.
|
OCD
|
And now it feels like all the progress I made a month ago falls back because I have to force myself to think about ERP and lean into all of that awful mess that is whatever I’m dreading, according to my OCD’s whims.
|
OCD
|
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was a kid. It makes me forget a lot of things but I've never fucked up like this before. Except for maybe the time I put diesel in my car instead of gas.
I went to a bachelorette party last weekend. I'd thought I'd be able to just let my hair down for a day and forget about classes.
Wrong decision. I thought one of my exams was due Monday and when I checked I swear to God it did say that but it was actually due Saturday. And I was partying all of that day.
I asked my teacher for a makeup but she said no.
I had an A in that class, now I'll have a C. I wanted to get straight As but I dropped the ball again. I always try to get straight As in college but I never do and I never can.
I know it is possible for people with ADHD to do great things. My mom has ADHD and she still got straight As in grad school while raising two kids and working two jobs. I want to live up to that, but no matter what I do I just can't.
|
ADHD
|
I have ADHD and my girlfriend has OCD and is extremely well organized. (opposites attract I guess, right?) We have been together almost 4 years and we've been living together for a little over a year. We have had some tension since moving in together because of my executive disfunction causing a lot of the household chores to end up falling on her. She's very understanding usually, but I think my behavior still comes across as laziness or a lack of trying sometimes and from her perspective I totally get how it looks like that. She gives me a request that should take me 5 minutes to complete, but I still can't seem to do it even days later so I understand her frustration.
All of the "living with someone who has ADHD" tips seem to almost ignore the feelings of the neurotypical partner a little i.e. Accepting the clutter/way I live, etc. I couldn't really find much info from the opposite POV of "having ADHD and living with someone who doesn't." We are both actively working on our communication skills and trying to come up with some other ways we can help each other.
TL;DR What are some ways you guys have adapted to help your neurotypical live a better, less stressful life?
|
ADHD
|
I tried to give up smoking because I was afraid of my health and of sinning. I f was able to abstain from smoking almost 1-2 days and then, the thought of smoking was on my head constantly. There were 2-3 times that I tried to ignore the thought of smoking but it kept bugging me. I bough a pack, smoked very few normal cigarettes and then I felt disappointed and anxious. I ruined the pack (wasted money) in order not to smoke again.
I made a promise to Christian God about not smoking and a non-specific punishment was asked in case breaking the promise in order to use the fear of punishment whenever I was thinking about smoking. I gave up smoking for some days but then, I started smoking again.
I smoked weed for the first time and it felt good. It started raining and I feared that I may have caused God's wrath. I probably rushly said to Him that I will not do it again.
Some days later, I smoked weed again and I started being more afraid and anxious. I think I was afraid for my smoking promise, for probably telling God that I wont smoke drug again and for the sin of smoking weed. I was afraid that God maybe will not give me another chance. Somehow, probably irrationally, I was afraid that maybe something bad will happen.
So, I wanted to prove to God that I want another chance and that I will stop smoking by making ANOTHER promise and asking for a non-specific punishment in case breaking it. Also, I did not want to find myself on the same position again worrying for all these things just by rushly saying to God that I wont do it again. So, by making a promise and using the fear of punishment, I thought I could end the whole smoking case once and for all.
I gave up smoking completely but there were a very few times that I smoked few normal cigarettes. I lost almost all my faith to Christian God and I worry. What if the promises were accepted by other Gods?
I do not want to say more about my worries but please can you answer me this: Do you think I can blame my mental illness (ocd) for making those smoking promises? I knew what I was doing but since I already failed my first promise, why I would risk making a new one? The second promise was made under duress. I was afraid that if I do not give up smoking I may end up worrying again for my health and God. So, I had to find a way to force myself not to smoke again. Thats why I made the second promise. Is it my fault or can I blame it to my ocd? I mean. if I did not have ocd, would I have made those promises?
|
OCD
|
I noticed that whenever my periods are coming/I’m on my periods, my intrusive thoughts and obsessions become out of hands. I also have a much harder time resisting my compulsions and am overall feeling extremely sad and anxious. Does anyone else have this? Should I bring it up in therapy?
|
OCD
|
i’m beyond frustrated and angry right now. 2 18mg & 5 54mg concerta, plus 1 10mg adderall pill stolen over the course of 5 days.
when i confronted her she justified it by saying that “she has memory problems and needs the boost” and “her coworkers are using it for weight loss”. dad is also against me, saying that i should just let her use it.
as mad as I am at her, I am more mad at the neurotypicals that have normalized stimulant abuse and allowed her to justify this theft. she still has no idea how shitty of an action this was, not to mention how dangerous and reckless.
now on top of worrying about figuring out my treatment, diet, work methods, etc, I have to worry about hiding my meds from both my parents. I wish we could just exist in peace.
EDIT: just to clear this up because there seems to be a bit of a misunderstanding (my error, I should’ve been more clear on this). she’s not distributing the pills. she is using her coworkers’ abuse of the drug to justify her own abuse.
EDIT #2: apologies, just wanted to add some extra info. I am a legal age adult in college. my mom currently does not have access to my meds, I’ve hidden them and plan to safely dispose any extras at my pharmacy. I also do not plan to pursue any legal action against her.
|
ADHD
|
I’m struggling insanely hard in school, so, my predicaments long and short is I can never bring myself to do work, whenever I force myself too my brain forces me off task, whenever I force it back and start work, I can’t think, I read stuff and immediately forget, when I do math I calculate everything wrong, my memory gets foggy and basically useless, my short term memory doesn’t exist, it’s awful and I don’t know what it is or what to do.
|
ADHD
|
Has anyone confessed to their employers (corporate world) that theyre suicidal?
What was the outcome of it, did they let you keep your job?
|
depression
|
Basically I hear executive functioning can be difficult for Aspies (myself included). So I was wondering if anybody has some anecdotes about how they've learned to manage themselves & their time especially.
I've found I'm good at making reasonable sounding plans but I almost never follow them & quickly throw them out. Anyone else been in this sort of situation and found a solution?
|
aspergers
|
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