Instruction:
A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection,    Now I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent. This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage.    I am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to.    What could be causing this, and what can I do about it?

Response:
For starters, know that this is a normal experience for many men at some point in their lives. While this can certainly cause some embarrassment, a diminished sexual esteem or relationship problems, it is important to know you are not alone. I am going to move forward assuming that you have already checked with a medical professional to rule out any medical problems that may be related to this. Assuming that is the case, for most this happens for two primary reasons. It is either a short term biological shortage of blood flow to the penis. This can be caused my diet, lack of exercise, even stress. Another primary reason for loss of erections are anxiety. Have their been recent relationship issues? Are you feeling as though you aren't satisfied in the bedroom? These are just a few aspects that can cause subconscious anxiety and loss of erection. My suggestion to you would be to seek out a counselor that specializes in sexuality that can assist you in moving forward with this.  Best of Luck!


Instruction:
A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection,    Now I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent. This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage.    I am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to.    What could be causing this, and what can I do about it?

Response:
Erection maintenance is caused by connective tissue weakness as well as lymphatic stagnation of the area and accompanying channels.  A proper detoxification is necessary to reverse the stagnation and get things flowing again.Lower circulation and pituitary might also be indicated.Medical will likely not recommend anything useful in the long term (pharmaceuticals do not solve a problem, only suppress it; and, it will return again later and worse than before);Certain herbal protocols and natural protocols would be very warranted in getting things going again :)


Instruction:
A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection,    Now I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent. This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage.    I am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to.    What could be causing this, and what can I do about it?

Response:
If you haven't already, please see a doctor.  ED can be caused by any number of physical conditions and you need to get checked out.  Once you have ruled out any physical issues that interfere with getting an  erection, it's time to look for more subtle causes.  Unfortunately, you may have gotten yourself into a mind set of "I hope I can, but what if I can't?"  which is certain to interfere with performance.Again, rule out physical causes (can you tell I think that's important?), then talk with your wife about working  together to find the right approach.  It might be a good idea, for example, to take the pressure off by enjoying each other without intercourse.  You can have great sex without penetration and you can have physical intimacy without sex, so slow down and experiment.  You might find more pleasure than you expect when you can relax knowing there doesn't have to be a "finish line".Again, yes the  third time, SEE A DOCTOR, just in case there's something going  on.  Once you get the all clear, find joy and spontaneity with your wife again by being creative and pressure free.


Instruction:
A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection,    Now I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent. This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage.    I am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to.    What could be causing this, and what can I do about it?

Response:
Assuming there are no medical explanations for this issue, many men I've worked with on this come to see it as essentially a form of Anxiety. There is a phenomenon called the Yerkes Dodson Law (see below; source: Wikipedia), which basically states that if we feel either too much or too little stress, pressure, or nervousness about a task, it will adversely impact our ability to do carry it out successfully. The ideal amount of stress/arousal is right in the middle - not too little and not too much. This applies to more things than we might often realize - from giving a presentation, to ordering food, to making a free throw, to driving, to sexual intimacy as in this case. A common suggestion that many men find helpful is initiating open and honest conversations with their partners about this issue, and for a temporary period of time, agreeing to physical intimacy and sexual pleasure in other forms, and without the expectation of intercourse. There are many ways to go about that (which are outside the scope of this blog article), but this can be a path to connecting intimately and renewing physical bonding without unhelpful anxiety - and over time, can lead back to intimacy in all the ways that have become elusive. Best of luck.


Instruction:
I struggle with depression as well as pretty intense mood swings throughout the month. I experience highs where I feel amazing and energetic and then lows where I lack focus, energy, and generally have a more dark outlook on my life. How can I live a more balanced life?

Response:
It's fun to ride the roller coaster from time to time, isn't it? :)But, it's also weary-making, and leads to drainage that no man or woman can hardly anticipate!Balance comes with proper understanding of the different bodies you possess and how they function.And, to begin, we focus upon your physical, and move right up the latter to the spiritual, and begin cleaning you out.Unbalance is an experience of blocked energies that should be naturally flowing (call them what thou mayest); when blockages are removed, what is naturally there flows, and flows beautifully...


Instruction:
I struggle with depression as well as pretty intense mood swings throughout the month. I experience highs where I feel amazing and energetic and then lows where I lack focus, energy, and generally have a more dark outlook on my life. How can I live a more balanced life?

Response:
Are you certain your highs and lows are directly related to your cycle?  It's possible that there are at least some contributing factors, even if they are  as a result of hormonal fluctuations.For example, at the start of your period, do you have that "I feel great" feeling, or are you tired and down?  Mid-cycle (assuming your periods are regular), do you find yourself napping or ready to run a race?  Either way, how you feel may be leading you to behaviors that contribute to your changes in energy and optimism. Let's say that the few days before your period, you feel cranky, bloated and want salty food.  Your natural inclination might be to isolate, stay inside and eat chips.  The next day, you feel even more tired, cranky and bloated.  It STARTS with a hormonal symptom, but what you do with that can change how you  end up feeling.  So if you notice feeling cranky, bloated and craving salt, what if you pull up a restorative yoga video online, spend an hour being restful and centered in your body and have a good meal with a healthy balance of fats, proteins and carbs, with fresh veggies and fruits before you turn in early to give your body the rest it is asking for ?  That sets you up to feel MUCH better!And those "on top of the world days" - who doesn't love them??  But even those days, be mindful of how you are treating yourself.  Exercise for sure, but don't do twice the workout you normally would just because you can!  You might feel super energy and skip meals which sets you up for poor sleep and feeling crummy after a day or two.All that aside, if you have a couple rough days before your period, pay attention to what is bugging you.  Christiane Northrup, MD, likens our menstrual cycle to the tide.  When the tide is out (just before your period), you see all the garbage cluttering up your ocean floor, but you don't have the energy to address it, so there it stays, bugging you.  At the height of physical and emotional energy (usually mid-cycle/ovulation), the tide is back in and you don't see all that annoying stuff you saw before.  Since you have good energy at this time, take advantage of it by doing some "clean up" on the things you saw there when you felt crummy.  Maybe it's that conversation you have been putting  off with your partner, or having the long-delayed closet clean out, or searching for a job that feels/pays/fits you better.  Whatever it is, those "PMS blues" may hold important messages for you.If taking good care of yourself, staying tuned in to your needs and keeping an eye on the "tides" don't help, then  see your doctor.  Something else may be going on - our hormones all work together like a symphony - it only takes one to be out of tune to throw the whole thing off!


Instruction:
I struggle with depression as well as pretty intense mood swings throughout the month. I experience highs where I feel amazing and energetic and then lows where I lack focus, energy, and generally have a more dark outlook on my life. How can I live a more balanced life?

Response:
Depression and PMS symptoms can be so hard to navigate !  Looking at this from a holistic standpoint can help you understand why you get these mood swings and what to do to balance yourself emotionally during this time. As a woman, we experience peaks and dips during our hormonal cycles and right before menstruation, we tend to feel not ourselves and down. The bloating and extreme cravings do not help either.Making sure your schedule is light and you have things to assist you can be so helpful. Different essential oils like lavender may calm you down, or orange which can uplift your mood. Homeopathy can be effective and gentle during this time as well. Birth control is known to help reduce the extreme spikes in hormones and can reduce your emotional and physical pain. Perhaps even psychiatric medication like an SSRI can help . If you are interested in going down the medication route, be sure to ask the doctor about potential side effects and risks . Reducing your processed sugar intake may help a lot as well. Exercising, spending time outside, practicing stress management and avoiding caffeine and alcohol can all be useful as well.


Instruction:
I struggle with depression as well as pretty intense mood swings throughout the month. I experience highs where I feel amazing and energetic and then lows where I lack focus, energy, and generally have a more dark outlook on my life. How can I live a more balanced life?

Response:
You may already be living a balanced life because you are aware of your ups and downs due to hormonal changes of your menstrual cycle.As much as posible, schedule activities around your expected mood swings.   This way you'll avoid feeling even more tired from a busy scheduled during a low energy time in the month.The hormonal cycle is normal.Opinions vary as to taking natural, homeopathic supplements or Pharma drugs which will influence your cycle and make your mood more even.There are side effects to at least the Pharma drugs, which is a consideration as to the value of taking them.Reflect on which is your style of living and what will make you feel successful in handling this problem.Sticking to a system which mirrors the type of person you are, means more than any one particular answer anyone gives you.


Instruction:
I self-harm, and I stop for awhile. Then when I see something sad or depressing, I automatically want to self-harm.

Response:
In a way, self-harm can present somewhat like an addiction.  According to new research within the field of neuroscience there is a valid explanation for this.  When a person cuts or uses other forms of self harm, the body produces endorphins to help make a person feel better.  If a person was dealing with depression or high anxiety, that might be misinterpreted by the brain as a way to help oneself feel better and a new neural network or map might form (addiction) that would utilize this new behavior.  Another way to look at it would be thru a behavioral lens, a positive reward for a behavior, even though the behavior has other long term negative consequences.  Consider working with someone who can both have you work on and address those items that trigger your behavior and the root causes, in this case sadness or depression, and second find someone who can help give you alternatives that take into account the neurological requirement by replacing the behavior with another behavior (such as snapping a rubber band on the wrist) and working to extinguish the unwanted behavior.   Someone who is trained in Dialectic Behavior Therapy and/or Interpersonal Neurobiology would most likely have the skills and means available to address this with you.


Instruction:
I self-harm, and I stop for awhile. Then when I see something sad or depressing, I automatically want to self-harm.

Response:
Self-harm has a way of becoming a go-to method of coping. When we get stuck using self-harm as a way to deal and manage emotions, when something serious happens it totally makes sense that that will be one the first things to go through the mind. It is its own kind of addiction. There is a therapy, DBT or, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, which focusing on giving you new tools to get through hard times, understand and manage your emotions, to stay present and to deal with relationships. This one of the most effective interventions there is for self-harm. If you are interested in DBT, reach a local therapist in your area and ask if they do DBT or can recommend you to a DBT program. This can help immensely. Self-harm recovery is totally possible, but it is definitely hard work!


Instruction:
I have been diagnosed with general anxiety and depression by my family doctor. They wrote a prescription for me to have an emotional support dog, I have the paper work, and I gave it to my apartment manager. They said I can't keep the ESD because I'm not disabled. What do you suggest I do?

Response:
This can be a difficult situation.  Typically, only animals that are specifically trains to accomplish a specific task are legally protected as Service Animsls. Even though that can be very helpful, emotional support animals are not generally protected in the same way.You might not be able to make your landlord accommodate you. If possible, you may want to consider a different apparent that is more animal friendly.


Instruction:
I have been diagnosed with general anxiety and depression by my family doctor. They wrote a prescription for me to have an emotional support dog, I have the paper work, and I gave it to my apartment manager. They said I can't keep the ESD because I'm not disabled. What do you suggest I do?

Response:
At present, the American Disability Association (ADA) only allows protection and guiltiness for Service Animals, which is fall under a separate distinction from Emotional Support Animals. Emotional support animals are untrained animals (typically pets or other domestic animals) that provide wonderful services to their owners, and there are many benefits to having one.Service animals who are trained to provide specific services for an individual with limitations that make them fall under what the ADA defines as "disabled" are protected under specific laws, and must be accommodated in public places where the human they serve is present. While it may be beneficial to request that the therapist who "prescribed" the dog to you write a letter to the apartment manager, it sounds like the manager is aware of ADA guidelines, and the simplest course of action may be to find an alternative residence, if that is a plausible option.


Instruction:
I have been diagnosed with general anxiety and depression by my family doctor. They wrote a prescription for me to have an emotional support dog, I have the paper work, and I gave it to my apartment manager. They said I can't keep the ESD because I'm not disabled. What do you suggest I do?

Response:
Agree with the apartment manager's viewpoint that your disability is not a physical limitation.Ask the manager if they'd accept an explanatory letter from a therapist who is licensed to diagnosis emotional disabilities.If the answer is yes, then find a therapist who's willing to cooperate with what you need from them and find out this particular therapist's terms of working with you to compose such a letter.If the manager tells you "no", then find out who is above this person or entity and find out how to formally introduce your request to the board or apartment owner, or whoever actually is the legal owner of the building.


Instruction:
I have been diagnosed with general anxiety and depression by my family doctor. They wrote a prescription for me to have an emotional support dog, I have the paper work, and I gave it to my apartment manager. They said I can't keep the ESD because I'm not disabled. What do you suggest I do?

Response:
This is tricky because there are different types of emotional support dogs. The ones that are officially trained actually go through months of training and then are paired with someone for whom they perform specific tasks.You may benefit from looking at the blog written by Valerie Parrott, who has an emotional support dog due to severe anxiety and panic. I will warn you that her blog is very blunt, but she is honest and she has gone through this process: https://thedogintheroom.wordpress.com/2016/06/20/what-makes-a-service-dog/#more-508


Instruction:
I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
   How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously?

Response:
Ouch. It's really hard to deal with a spouse that isn't taking you seriously. In this case, I would plan for and schedule a time to talk with him about this. I would tell him that you need about 30 minutes to talk to him with minimal interruptions about something that is important to you. Schedule a time, write notes if you need reminders about what you need to express, and tell him how you feel. Ideally, you would focus more on I-statements instead of telling him what he is doing wrong. For example,  I feel ignored vs You always ignore me. By focusing on how you feel, he is less likely to feel attacked and get defensive. Some people go to couples or marriage counseling for help with communication. Chances are there are things that BOTH of you do that hurts your communication. Overall, try to talk to him directly and try not to get defensive. If he continues to say, you're always sad - then stay calm, say "okay, can you help me understand that more?" or "That's interesting. Tell me what you see."  Reach out to a couples counselor for more help with communication strategies. Sometimes a 3rd party can help you both see things in a different perspective. Hope this helps!


Instruction:
I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
   How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously?

Response:
This is so hard. It is hard for someone to understand what depression is without having experienced it themselves. Unfortunately people without depression sometimes mistake it as feeling sorry for ourselves or just moping around, which is not what depression is at all. Sometimes I think that it is easier for family members to see it as a choice than to admit that someone they love is hurting and they dont know what to do. If  he is willing, I wonder if there may be a depression support group in your area such as NAMI or DBSA where he could hear from from others living with depression and their families. If not, I wonder if you all might watch a documentary together such as No Kidding Me Too or Call me Crazy. If not that, ive sometimes encouraged folk to just leave some information on depression and how family can help like a pamphlet or handout on a table or around the house. We tend to get curious and read things we find on the table. Wishing you the best!


Instruction:
I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
   How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously?

Response:
It can be hard for husbands to hear that their wife is unhappy.  By nature men tend to be more of the fix it type.  So if they are sad, they fix it.  If their wife is sad, they fix it.  He may feel helpless to help you and that may be why he is saying those things to you.  It's not that he doesn't care or that he doesn't take them seriously, he might just have no idea how to help.  I would start by making an appointment to talk with a therapist about your sadness.  Meeting with a therapist may help you to learn some tools and strategies that can help you to manage some of the sadness you are feeling.  A therapist can also help you to gain some understanding and insight into why you might be experiencing sadness.  Depression is not something you have to sit with, therapy can help.  Once your husband sees that you are being proactive in addressing your sadness/depression he will probably be more open to listening to you and supporting you.  He might start to have ideas and input on how you two can work together to change some of the situations or things that might be holding you bakc.


Instruction:
I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
   How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously?

Response:
Oh dear.From what you write, your husband doesn't have any interest to know about you and your sad feelings.Stay clear in understanding that you already did your part by asking him to listen and care about the way you feel.In this example, he told you he doesn't care.Its up to him to open his mind and heart to you.Depending on how motivated to continue asking him to hear you, try until you feel satisfied that you've given him enough chances to know who you are.   At a certain number of tries at this, you'll either have success or not.Just don't try forever because doing so will increase your depressed feelings.


Instruction:
It's not entirely true to say I enjoy being sad, but I always find a way to feel that way. I listen to sad music, read tragic stories, and, in a twisted way, like how bad it makes me feel. I focus on negative aspects of my life even if they aren't legitimate or I just make it seem negative.

Response:
It sounds like you are noticing that you are drawn towards sad and negative content and it's hard to understand why. This may sound counter-intuitive, but sometimes we do things that on the surface may look problematic (or even cause us some real problems) because it serves us in some unseen way. A simple example would be somebody who is addicted to a substance; their addiction may be causing serious problems in their life, and they may even know it, but the addiction serves them by helping them to avoid painful feelings that they anticipate having if they quit using. Now I am not saying that what you describe is an addiction, it is just a really illustrative example of the unseen benefit.One thing I would be wondering about is what is the unseen benefit of seeking out sad and negative content? I'd also be wondering what your relationship is to other feelings. These are things you may benefit from exploring with a competent therapist.


Instruction:
It's not entirely true to say I enjoy being sad, but I always find a way to feel that way. I listen to sad music, read tragic stories, and, in a twisted way, like how bad it makes me feel. I focus on negative aspects of my life even if they aren't legitimate or I just make it seem negative.

Response:
I applaud your courage in asking this question to gain some deeper insight into what is happening in your life. This is one of the most common things that I personally have seen in the population of individuals who suffer from depression. It is often that I notice clients focusing on the negative to the complete dismissal of the positive when they are dealing with depression. It is inspiring that you have noticed this in yourself because many clients are not aware that this is a pattern for them, or are not yet willing to face that depression has become a pattern they cling to. Depression, if dealt with for extended periods of time, can become a way of life, an identity of sorts, that is very difficult to part from. While you desperately desire happiness, who would you be without the depression? Sometimes it is scarier to journey into the unknown (in this case, happiness), than it is to stay in the known, and the often times comfortable space of your depression. Human beings, for the most part, fear and stray away from change in general, especially a change that is so impactful. Allowing yourself to confront the possibility of change as positive with the support of a professional counselor is often extremely helpful.


Instruction:
Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

Response:
Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) is a term that reflects how many people are affected by the changing seasons, especially fall to winter.  Everyone suffers with some form of this (lessened activity levels, increased isolation, etc.) while some find that this time of year can put them into a deeper depression. If you have noticed that this happens frequently, there are some ways you can definitely help yourself going forward:1. Attend therapy to learn strategies and tools to help you to manage your mood.  It's important to stay within the therapy until you feel you have mastered these tools. 2. Push yourself to interact more with your social groups and other positive activities. It's easy to go out and spend the day outside in the summer months, when the temperature is warm and the sun shines for long periods of the day, but it seems harder to find fun ways to spend your time when the temperature drops and darkness comes on so quickly.  Perhaps winter time could become the time of year where you and your friends have weekly board game nights, complete with hot chocolate and a fire?3. You may want to consider the purchase of a S.A.D. Light.  These are lights that expose you to additional ultra violet light to increase the vitamin D in our bodies, as well as the release of growth hormone (which releases when we wake up). There are mixed reviews of these products, however, and they can be expensive.


Instruction:
Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

Response:
I would suggest some holistic approaches, such as getting your Vitamin D and iron levels checked. Make sure you are eating well, exercising, and getting outside when you can. Take a trip to someplace warm if possible. Use a sun lamp in the morning for 30 minutes to simulate sunlight. Seek professional health to gain coping skills and other ways to manage symptoms.


Instruction:
Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

Response:
Thank you for sharing. It seems like since the "winter blues" happens to you every year it may also be impacting your quality of life and possibly relationships. What you report sounds like you may be experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and is quite common to many from about fall thru winter seasons; but, also can impact folks during the Spring and summer months.The best care and treatment for SAD includes discussing it with your PCP (primary care physician), integrating light therapy (full-spectrum lighting) throughout home and workplace (where possible), psychotherapy, and possibly medications (e.g. Wellbutrin XL, Aplenzin).Be sure to exercise good self-care and checkout the Mayo Clinic's website for SAD here: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/basics/definition/con-20021047.


Instruction:
Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

Response:
Light therapy is very helpful. You are not alone. The name for the condition is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). You might want to see a therapist to assist you putting in place a behavioral program to help change the way you feel.


Instruction:
Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

Response:
I am glad that you are getting ahead of this by noticing this seasonal pattern to your depression. Winter depression (seasonal affective) is something that affects a lot of people both people who also deal with other kinds of depression that happens to get worse in the winter as well as people who just deal with depression in the winter. Light affects how our bodies release and absorb neurotransmitters such as serotonin and most believe that a major contributing factor for winter depression is that we get less light when it is colder outside and darker outside. Exposure to light can make a big difference. If you are someone who is awake during the day (not someone who works the night shift :) )---one simple change you can make is keeping your curtains in your bedroom light enough as to let some light in in the morning. This will give you light right off the start of the day and can make it easier to get going in the morning. Beyond this, keeping windows cleared from blinds so that you get that natural light or even taking a short 10 or 15 minute walk each day can get you both light and exercise to help fight off the depression. Outside this, as others have suggested a light box is a popular method of warding off the depression however some of these may expose you to UV light and so this is something to check in with both with the light box manufacturer and with your doctor to make sure you have a good understanding of the risks and benefits for that. Lastly, just making sure you continue to do things that lift your mood, that you have time with other people, and that you reach out if you do find yourself in a space of needing help are all things you can do to ward off the depression. Wishing you well!


Instruction:
Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

Response:
This is actually pretty common. When winter hits, we tend to find ourselves huddled inside from the cold. Not to mention the sun is out for a much shorter time. It will be helpful to get as much sunlight as possible. Get outside when you can. Open up the blinds and drapes. Use a sunlight if you want to (amazon has some for reasonable prices). Stay connected to friends and family. Try to engage in activities that make you feel positive, productive, and connected.


Instruction:
Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

Response:
Cold climate is often accompanied by grey skies, snow and
ice. The elements along with wind, windchill and severely cold temperatures may
lead to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and low energy. For some people these
symptoms occur each year from late fall to early spring and may be suffering
from a condition known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Whether you have
been diagnosed with SAD or are finding yourself struggling with the “winter
blues” for the first time here are some suggestions for feeling better and
staying healthy.1. Nutrition Most likely you have
heard the term “comfort food.” These foods and snacks are high in
carbohydrates, sugar and fat. Avoid overeating cookies, cakes and candy. Chose
vegetables, fruit and protein for snacks and plan balanced meals. If you find
yourself wanting to eat or snack throughout the day, ask yourself why you are
eating. Are you hungry? Or Are you eating because you are bored?2. AlcoholKeep in mind that alcohol is a depressant so consuming wine,
beer or liquor when already feeling sad, anxious or depressed will only add to
your symptoms. Do not consume alcohol while engaging in outdoor activities such
as snow removal, skiing, or ice fishing. If you find yourself reaching for an
additional glass of wine or beer be mindful and ask whether you are doing it
due to boredom. Instead of mindlessly taking another glass of alcohol, drink a
glass of water. 3. SunlightGet
out in the sunlight or brightly lit spaces, especially early in the day.4. Be activeIf you are unable to go to your favorite gym, exercise class
or go for a run, find a way to stay active in your home. There are a lot of
short, instructional programs available on YouTube that you can follow to do
some gently yoga, dance, or do strengthening exercises using only your body
weight.5.  Reach out for help
Confide in someone you trust about how you are feeling. Do
not hesitate to contact a counselor if you feel that you are becoming more
depressed and anxious. If you experience thoughts of suicide call the National
Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.


Instruction:
Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

Response:
First of all, it is excellent that you are self aware and able to identify the pattern to your moods. Many people suffer from the winter blues, which is called Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Some people notice that during the Fall and Winter months, they tend to struggle with signs and symptoms of depression such as sadness or hopelessness, lethargy, sleeping to much or too little, changes in appetite, loss of interest in usual interests, and possibly suicidal thoughts.  It would be best to consult with a therapist experienced in this disorder, as they will be able to guide you towards possible solutions such as changing negative thought patterns, light therapy, exercise, nutritional support, and possibly medication.


Instruction:
Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

Response:
Many peope uffer from changes in mood when the winter time comes. The amount of daylight hours decreases significantly. Most times it is dark when you go to work and dark when you return home. There are special lights that can be used during the winter season to counteract the "winter time blues." Also, paying attention to self care. Are you sleeping enough, attending to physical illness? Exercising and eating a balanced diet? Make sure to schedule fun activities and spend time with loved ones.


Instruction:
Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

Response:
About 3 million people in the United States suffer from seasonal affective disorder. Seasonal affective disorder or seasonal depression occurs during the same season every year. You might have feel feeling depressed the past two winters, but cheered up during the warmer months. Or you may have felt down during the summer.Everyone could get seasonal depression, but it tends to be much more common in :People who have families who have SADWomenIndividuals between 15 and 55 years oldIndividuals who live in an areas where winter daylight time is very shortNo mental health experts are exactly sure of what specifically causes SAD, but many think lack of sunlight is a big trigger. This lack of light could mess up your circadian rhythms or cause problems with serotonin which is the chemical that affects your mood.You might be wondering if you have seasonal depression or SAD. Here are the symptoms:Feeling grumpy, sad , nervous of having mood swingsAnhedonia or lack of pleasure in things you normally loveEating much more or less than usualGaining weightSleeping a lot more than you normally do, but still feeling sluggingDifficulty concentratingIt is so important to look at SAD in a holistic manner before getting diagnosed. In addition to therapy, it's crucial to see your doctor so she or he can run blood tests to rule out any other conditions that may be making you feel blue. One of these common ones is hypothyroidism or low thyroid. At Makin Wellness, we could do the mental heath assessment .TreatmentThere are multiple ways to help treat seasonal depression. Light therapy can be used, but counseling is one of the most effective ways of treating SAD. Cognitive behavioral therapy with a skilled therapist can help you learn more about seasonal depression , how to manage your symptoms and ways to prevent future episodes. Medication can also be prescribed and taken to help alleviate some or your symptoms. Antidepressants such as Zoloft, Effexor and Wellbutrin are most commonly prescribed for SAD. Be sure to talk with your doctor and therapist about any side effects from your medication.


Instruction:
Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

Response:
One theory is that instead of "fighting" your feelings, accept your sad feelings and work with them.   Feeling sad may open many doors to reflect and make peace with the source of your sadness.Also, I believe fighting against the natural cycle of rest and hibernation may not even be possible to succeed.   Winter for most creatures is a time of withdrawal and slowdown.  Our bodies and moods are part of nature as well.  Fighting what is part of nature seems like a tiring fight which the person will lose.Last point, there are the winter holidays to break up the dark and cold of winter.   Maybe you can invent some of your own winter celebrations so you'll have a few gatherings to look forward to hosting.


Instruction:
Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

Response:
Sometimes its quite literally the lack of sunshine that can affect our mood - in these cases it can be worth experimenting with a sun lamp, to boost your dose of vitamin D, when the sun isn't naturally out. Also consider, what is it that the change in weather, changes in your life? If for example, when its sunny you are an outdoorsy, active person and when the weather changes, you're whole activity level changes along with it, you could explore how to get some of that activity replicated indoors in the winter months.


Instruction:
Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

Response:
Change your total daily routine, different route, different lunch, different afternoon.  Sit outside for 10 minutes three times every day, use a therapy light during the day, aroma-therapy oils for stimulation, but....keep your routine bedtimes and wake up times......and exercise at least 3 times per week,  if after several weeks you are not feeling better....talk with your doctor.


Instruction:
Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

Response:
Seasonal depression can be difficult due to the weather being a primary trigger. Understanding that we have very little control over the weather, therefore we can focus on the things we can change. Exercising, meditation, guided imagery, and deep breathing can be beneficial to combat seasonal depression. It may help to join a support group and seek out therapy to assist you on this healing journey.


Instruction:
Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

Response:
There can be lots of different factors contributing to this. Here are some possible tips:Consider if you know anything about what specifically is making you feel sad? If you're looking for activities because you cannot participate in what you like to do in the warmer months, consider finding some indoor winter activitiesConnect with others. One idea is to join a group (such as a book club) that meets regularly. This could give you something to look forward to regardless of the colder weather.Enjoy the sunshine from indoors. You may notice that sometimes looks are deceiving women is bright and sunny outside, but is also quite cold when you open the door. If you are staying inside for the day, consider allowing yourself to enjoy the sunlight without specifically considering that it is also cold.Consider using a light box. Certain types of light boxes are designed to help with the "winter blues." You can find more information here: http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/light-therapy/home/ovc-20197416Recently, one of the nurse practitioners that I work with has been checking a lot of vitamin D and vitamin B12 levels and she says the lower levels of these vitamins can contribute to feelings of less motivation or energy than is desired.Each of us has days when we are not thrilled about the weather and may be feeling sort of "bummed" or "down." If you find yourself having these days frequently or for several consecutive days in the above strategies are not helping, consider talking with a therapist about more specific strategies that may be of help to you. Also, because  if everything you would see is likely to live in your area, they would be familiar with the weather patterns where you are and may have some tips that they use for themselves or With other clients.


Instruction:
I am going through a divorce. He is extremely angry. He refuses to physically assist me with our teenager daughter. I have no extended family support. Often times, I feel overwhelmed, tired, and joyless. I feel out of control, sad and depressed on a daily basis. I am just going through the motions of life every day. I am in my mid-50s. I have almost 29 years on my job. How can I handle this?

Response:
Going through a divorce is often a very low point for the people involved.Are you surprised that your soon to be ex doesn't help with your teenage daughter?Usually patterns and dynamics in parenting are not  sudden developments.Is it possible that what you're feeling now is more intensity to the stress of parenting by yourself, not that this is a sudden problem?This is relevant because you may be more familiar and more capable than you're giving yourself credit.  The lack of emotional support is definitely stressful.Your parenting skills may still be at the level at which they were prior to the divorce.Take your emotional weariness seriously and reflect on the various ways of stress relief which are available and interest you.Give yourself extra time to rest, nurture yourself and be flexible in finding what feels right for stabilizing yourself.Since you talk about your daughter and help in physical ways, if it is a matter of strength that you need, talk with your attorney so that the child custody agreement includes whatever is physically necessary in the way of strength, in taking care of your daughter.The Courts are very good at making effort that the custody agreement offers proper care to the kids.


Instruction:
I am going through a divorce. He is extremely angry. He refuses to physically assist me with our teenager daughter. I have no extended family support. Often times, I feel overwhelmed, tired, and joyless. I feel out of control, sad and depressed on a daily basis. I am just going through the motions of life every day. I am in my mid-50s. I have almost 29 years on my job. How can I handle this?

Response:
You are in the midst of a really hard time and it sounds like you have no help at all.  Search out a local support group through community counseling type centers.  If you can't find a group, at least get in to see a therapist who can help you manage stress and upset better.  Your sadness, depression and out-of-control feelings don't mean there is something wrong with you - they just mean that your circumstances are too big for your current resources to handle, so get some help. Take care of YOU and you'll be able to get through this.


Instruction:
I just don't know what I want in life anymore. I'm can't figure out what it is that is keeping me distracted and unfocused. I can't put things into perspective at all. I'm just stuck, and I'm disappointed with my lack of accomplishments.

Response:
If you are a people-pleaser type or a natural caretaker, you can slowly "lose yourself" over time if you are always tending to the needs of others and neglecting yourself.  If this sounds like a familiar pattern for you, this may have happened without you even realizing it if you were raised in a family where you had to pick up the slack alot.  Maybe your parents were addicts or they might have even just worked all the time and you learned to "take care of everything" because that is what you had to do to help the family run smoothly. Over time, a person who grows up in this type of environment learns that you put the needs of others before your own.  You might also be stuck in these types of patterns in intimate relationships as well; if you completely give yourself over to your significant other and you don't create a life for yourself with your own interests and supportive friends, you are at risk of losing what is unique and amazing about you.  If you grew up in a family where you learned this role out of survival or because it was needed to take care of your family, it's easy to re-create this in adult relationships.In both scenarios, if there is no awareness that this "self sacrifice at the expense of others" is going on, your identity is shaped around being a caretaker/enabler/people-pleaser and down the road it can lead to depression, low self esteem, and a confused sense of self.  Basically, you spend so much time helping other people that you don't make time for yourself or create a life of fulfillment.  Before you realize it, you have been living a life for others instead of yourself and you have no idea who YOU are.  Supporting loved ones and friends is important and certainly admirable, but if you are always that person that rescues, those that rely on you begin to take advantage of you and they will suck you dry if you let them.  In conclusion, learning to set boundaries with those in your life that are too needy becomes a really important part of the process when you begin to recognize that you are unhappy and unfulfilled in life.  It sounds like you may be at that crossroads right now.  Take one small step at at a time.  Identify the worst offenders in your life that suck time and energy, and limit your contact and/or set some strong boundaries with those people so you can refocus and do some soul-searching.  Meanwhile, engage in pleasurable activities with people you enjoy being with, get yourself outside in the fresh air, get some good sleep, and eat some nourishing food!


Instruction:
I just don't know what I want in life anymore. I'm can't figure out what it is that is keeping me distracted and unfocused. I can't put things into perspective at all. I'm just stuck, and I'm disappointed with my lack of accomplishments.

Response:
Give yourself credit for what you already know.For instance, you do know that you're unsure about your life direction. Take off any pressure on yourself to decide an answer in a certain amount of time.  Inner reflection work takes time and has its own course.   Trust that answers will show once you've done the work to understand yourself and circumstance, and the relationships in your life.From what you describe, your interest is in a broad scope life change. One direction is to start with only one specific part of your life you would like to change.  By examining one area in detail you will gain self-trust and confidence in handling your life.   And, you will have clarity as to which area to change first.


Instruction:
I just don't know what I want in life anymore. I'm can't figure out what it is that is keeping me distracted and unfocused. I can't put things into perspective at all. I'm just stuck, and I'm disappointed with my lack of accomplishments.

Response:
Thank you for sharing! It can be very disorienting not to know what you want and where you are headed. Sometimes we are so focused on something we haven't achieved yet or on comparing ourselves to others that we lose touch with what we actually want and need. At times like this, it's important to go back to basics. Try out this simple exercise, take a few minutes to write down all your present responsibilities. For example: make meals, complete homework...etc.  Then in the column next to it, write down the things that you do for yourself to recharge yourself and to enjoy your time. Is your list of responsibilities way longer than your list of stuff you do for yourself? It is easy to get lost in the sea of responsibilities and disconnect from what you want and need. To fix that, write another list of things that you enjoyed doing in the past for yourself and start incorporating them into your schedule on a regular basis. This will help you re-connect with yourself, and bring focus and clarity to your life.


Instruction:
I just don't know what I want in life anymore. I'm can't figure out what it is that is keeping me distracted and unfocused. I can't put things into perspective at all. I'm just stuck, and I'm disappointed with my lack of accomplishments.

Response:
Check this blog out:  Four-ways-add-self-esteem-friends-listHope you find a few nuggets of helpfulness in this.


Instruction:
I just don't know what I want in life anymore. I'm can't figure out what it is that is keeping me distracted and unfocused. I can't put things into perspective at all. I'm just stuck, and I'm disappointed with my lack of accomplishments.

Response:
It sounds as if you would benefit from talking with a local mental health professionals so you can discuss some details.Having said that, I wonder if you could consider how you would define yourself to someone who doesn't know you. For example, honest, adaptable, fun-loving, dependable, compassionate, open-minded, dedicated, etc. If you're looking for a list of adjectives, try these: https://www.englishclub.com/vocabulary/adjectives-personality-positive.htm . There is a list of negative ones here too. If you're going to use those, try to use three positive ones for each of the negative ones. You could also try asking yourself what you love about yourself and/or what others love about you. Sometimes it's easier to consider what others see as our positive points and if this is difficult for you, try asking someone who you trust to help you with the list.The idea here is to look at your relationship with yourself. I don't mean this in a way that you would be talking to yourself and receiving answers, but rather looking at yourself in a way that you deserve the same kind of loving and compassion that you give to others or want others to have.I'm also curious as to whether you are eating and sleeping okay, as these things can really affect your focus and many other changes, such as differences in your emotions. Also, you saying that you are struggling to put things into perspective leads me to believe that you are going through some things right now that are not typical for you, if so, consider from whom you have support and the ability to talk about what you are going through.Consider Metta meditation here to help give yourself loving kindness: http://www.mettainstitute.org/mettameditation.html


Instruction:
I'm not suicidal and wouldn't take my own life, but sometimes, I've wished for an accident to occur and take it. I feel like I just shouldn't be here and wish I wouldn't have been born so I didn't have to go through life. For me, it's a chore, but I don't know if that's normal or a sign of something.

Response:
Sounds like a sign of great unhappiness, or sadness, or insecurity.The real way you'll find out what this feeling is about is to ask yourself your own question.  Inside you are the only one who will feel when you discover the true answer to your question.Everyone feels some amount of discontent in their lives once in a while. Its normal to not feel entirely happy all the time.Try to accept your unhappiness as motivation to learn more about who you are, what you like, whom you like.Study yourself bc this way you increase the chance to find a road which feels right and happy.


Instruction:
I can't even smile or fake one. I can't feel happiness about anything and I can't show love towards another person not even my girlfriend. I hate myself sometimes. All I see is ugly.
   I can't get over the loss of a loved one and I'm not close to my family. What can I do?

Response:
Trust and believe your own feelings.Emotions are real and reflect how someone feels about a situation.Since you're sad about losing a loved one, be patient w your feelings about this.  Basically, be guided by how you feel and eventually you will feel different emotions which I hope will be happier ones.


Instruction:
My girlfriend just quit drinking and she became really depressed. She told me that she wants to move. What can I do to help her? I want her to stay.

Response:
You're probably not going to like my answer.Your question says a lot about what YOU want rather than what she wants or what may be best for her. Sometimes, what's best for a person is the hardest thing to do, and may be completely opposite of what YOU want.Addictions don't happen in a vacuum. If you've had any experience with addicts at all, then I'm sure you've heard the term "enabler". A lot of the times, when people think they're "helping", they're actually enabling the addict to continue their self-destructive behavior. Tough love and clear boundaries are needed in a lot of situations, but especially with addictions. Family and friends are often the biggest contributing factor to someone choosing to use/drink, continuing to do so, or relapsing back into it.You said she recently quit. You said she is depressed. She wants to move. When a person receives counseling for addictions, they are encouraged to make changes like this. They need to break the habit, and this means removing people from their lives at times. It means moving to new locations. Anything that may trigger a relapse needs to be identified and removed. Not only that, but the addict needs to do a lot of personal reflection to figure out WHY they use/drink in the first place, and not only break the physical addiction to it, but deal with whatever is the root cause that led them to use in the first place. She may need some time alone to figure out who she is as a person, time to make some decisions for herself and do what she needs to do to be healthy.Don't pressure her to stay. Let her have the freedom to do what she needs to do. If she stays, the decision needs to be hers and hers alone. It doesn't need to be made under pressure. That will only lead to resentment. Support her, but don't try to change her or make her do anything, especially for selfish reasons. Let her go. It sounds like she needs some time to focus on herself right now. It wouldn't be a bad idea for you to do the same.


Instruction:
My girlfriend just quit drinking and she became really depressed. She told me that she wants to move. What can I do to help her? I want her to stay.

Response:
I would say talk to her about her depression. The best thing you can do is let her know that you are there for her as a support system. I would encourage her to talk more if it helps and encourage her to get move involved in doing activities she likes to do. Also, getting connected in a community of people is important to help with feeling depressed. Encourage her to speak with a therapist or counselor to address her depression as she has made a major change in her life by deciding to stop drinking. She may believe moving is the best to help with this. You can share with her that you want her to stay and express to her how you feel. Ultimately, you will have to respect her boundaries and the decision she chooses to make. She may want to move and this may be what she feels is best for her life. If she does choose to move that will be her decision. It sounds like she is trying to do what is going to make her happy. Maybe staying in the city she is currently in is causing her more feelings of sadness.


Instruction:
My girlfriend just quit drinking and she became really depressed. She told me that she wants to move. What can I do to help her? I want her to stay.

Response:
People often have very different values and opinions when they are drinking excessively and when they stop drinking so much.Did the two of you share drinking as an activity?  If yes, then did you stop drinking too?Often when partners meet each other as drinking buddies when one gets sober, the relationship ends.  Once the terms of any relationship changes, one possibility is that it dissolves.The best way to go is to start the conversation of what you genuinely want.  This is the only way she'll really know your thoughts.Ask her to give serious consideration and discussion over at least a few weeks or months, to moving away from you.  This is a fair request since you are in a relationship.If she's changed so much by giving up drinking, which is possible, that she no longer wants to be in relationship to you, then you are better off being without a drinking gf, even if the truth she delivers is a hurtful one.


Instruction:
My girlfriend just quit drinking and she became really depressed. She told me that she wants to move. What can I do to help her? I want her to stay.

Response:
After stopping the abuse of alcohol, depressive symptoms are common. She may benefit from exploring why she wants to move and see if she would still want to move if she did not feel depressed. 12 step meetings can also be helpful.


Instruction:
My girlfriend just quit drinking and she became really depressed. She told me that she wants to move. What can I do to help her? I want her to stay.

Response:
You should start by speaking with her about what has her so down. Have their been some significant events in her life that have affected her? Have their been significant events in your relationship that can be affecting  you both? If she just stopped drinking, she may be struggling to finding an alternative and healthier behavior. This is something the two of you can explore together. Also, if need be perhaps she can speak to a therapist to discuss her feelings about quitting alcohol. It sounds like you really care and right now she could use all the support she can get despite her pushing you away.


Instruction:
I'm a teenager. My dad has been jail for the last five years. It's tough, but my mom really tries to give a normal life to my two sisters, my brother, and I. I feel like I took upon a parent role when I'm the second youngest, and I'm not stable. My mother and sisters say I'm overdramatic. I’m just so hurt, and I keep breaking down.

Response:
Each person handles themselves differently in any situation.Since you are willing to speak about how you feel, keep looking for blogs and forums on whatever topics you feel most describe your current circumstance.Your mother and sister, even though they are family seem to prefer the opposite method to yours.Find your own path of supportive other people and possibly a therapist.This way you’ll have understanding and validation which your mom and sister don’t want to give you right now.


Instruction:
I'm a teenager. My dad has been jail for the last five years. It's tough, but my mom really tries to give a normal life to my two sisters, my brother, and I. I feel like I took upon a parent role when I'm the second youngest, and I'm not stable. My mother and sisters say I'm overdramatic. I’m just so hurt, and I keep breaking down.

Response:
It sounds like you have a lot of weight on your shoulders.I'm not sure what you mean when you say you're not stable and you are breaking down. If you are crying because you're sad, that is okay. If you are crying a lot or having trouble eating or sleeping, that's different than just crying sometimes because you are sad. It may be helpful to talk with a local mental health professional in your area. They can help you to figure out what you could do differently to have the role in your family that you would like while also supporting yourself and what you want.


Instruction:
I'm in my mid 20s with a husband and children. I love my family, but I feel like I've lost my identity, and I don't know who I am other than a mom and wife. At times, all I can think is what I gave up and how I feel unhappy and trapped, but I know I'd feel like worse without them. I loathe myself at times. I have an amazing life, so why can't I just enjoy it?

Response:
Good for you on being sensitive to your human need for personal evolution.Wife and mother are meaningful positions.  And in your case, in order to feel your own growth, other areas of who you are would like your attention.Give yourself time to allow your interest to wander in order to find the area of growth which will satisfy you.Just like you know now that you'd like more than your current situation, trust yourself to know you will also know when you've arrived at another road you'd like to take for your own happiness.


Instruction:
I'm in my mid 20s with a husband and children. I love my family, but I feel like I've lost my identity, and I don't know who I am other than a mom and wife. At times, all I can think is what I gave up and how I feel unhappy and trapped, but I know I'd feel like worse without them. I loathe myself at times. I have an amazing life, so why can't I just enjoy it?

Response:
Being a parent can be all-consuming.  And there are more societal pressures on mothers to be everything to their children and families.  In that effort to be everything (cook, housekeeper, planner, social organizer, teacher, etc) it can be easy to forget about being you.  We can certainly acknowledge that becoming a mother likely means giving up or sacrificing parts of yourself for motherhood.  There are parts of becoming a mother that can be wonderful and magical, and parts of it that can be just flat out hard.  I think it is very important however, for all parents to ask for what they need and to carve out the time to nurture their individuality.  This may not only be supportive to you, but it sets a great example for your kids about how to advocate for their needs, and teach them about the depth and interests of their mother.


Instruction:
I'm in my mid 20s with a husband and children. I love my family, but I feel like I've lost my identity, and I don't know who I am other than a mom and wife. At times, all I can think is what I gave up and how I feel unhappy and trapped, but I know I'd feel like worse without them. I loathe myself at times. I have an amazing life, so why can't I just enjoy it?

Response:
It is not easy being a wife and mother. You have shifted roles in your life. You went from having a career to focusing on your family. Transitioning can be hard, especially when we feel we gave something up that we really wanted. I want to acknowledge you for wanting to be the best wife and mother you can. I think it is great that you are self-aware and want to work on this.Feeling "unhappy and trapped" may also mean that you are  believing these negative thoughts are absolutely true. We have lots and lots of thoughts throughout the day. Sometimes we pay a lot of attention to some and some we ignore. Right now these thoughts are getting a lot of your attention and perhaps you are thinking because you are thinking them they are true.  Is it really true that you trapped? You also said that you have an amazing life. It doesn't sound like you are only having negative thoughts. You have some positive ones, too. However, you are giving a lot of weight to the negative thoughts, more weight than the positive ones.I also wonder if you are struggling with the fact that you are even having this thought. One thing that can be helpful is to recognize that you are having a thought, that it is a negative thought, that thinking it does not make it true, and to let it go. This is the basis for mindfulness work that can be really helpful. It is a great place for you to start so you can balance out your thoughts and emotions.Best of luck to you!


Instruction:
I'm in my mid 20s with a husband and children. I love my family, but I feel like I've lost my identity, and I don't know who I am other than a mom and wife. At times, all I can think is what I gave up and how I feel unhappy and trapped, but I know I'd feel like worse without them. I loathe myself at times. I have an amazing life, so why can't I just enjoy it?

Response:
It sound like there are some parts of your life that you really enjoy it and also some things that you wish were different.You say you feel like nothing more than a wife and mom, so I wonder if you could make a list of what else you are (friend, daughter, etc.). I also wonder if you could list your positive attributes or skills.I don't know what you gave up, but I wonder if there is some way that you could spend an hour or so a week working on things that you like and/or spending some time with what you did before you had children. For example, if you're missing a certain part of your career, maybe you could work with your husband to come up with a plan where you could do whenever that is for one day a week. There are often a lot of small changes that can lead you in that direction.Of course, that is assuming that you want to continue being involved with what you were doing before.  If not, what else do you want to do? What is it that makes you feel happy? What do you look forward to? Remember that looking forward to having an hour or two where you can do something for yourself does not mean that you are not a good mother or wife. These ideas can coexist.Can you talk with your husband about how you are feeling? Do you have trust for one another with feelings such as these?


Instruction:
I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for a number of years. I have been on medication, but lately my depression has felt worse. Can counseling help?

Response:
Thank you for asking this important question. I find that there are three steps to getting ready for treatment. Step one is expressing interest in wanting to receiving treatment for the outcome of positive behavioral change. Congratulations you did the first step! You are showing your readiness to start counseling by asking this question. Now the second step is to find a counselor who specializes in treating clients with Anxiety and Depression. The therapeutic orientations I have found to be helpful in treating clients with  Anxiety and Depression are a combination of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with Mindfulness, and Solution Focused Brief Therapy. Receiving meditation for your symptoms if part of the treatment, and the other part is receiving counseling to increase your resilience for future events. Research has found that medication and psychotherapy treatments together shows the most effective outcome for Depression.  The third step is to increase your positive self-talk to motivate yourself to attend treatment. As counselors, we are aware of the anxieties and fears that are associated with talking to a new professional for the first time. However, remind yourself that you are doing this to improve your well being. I hope this was helpful, and good luck with your treatment journey.


Instruction:
I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for a number of years. I have been on medication, but lately my depression has felt worse. Can counseling help?

Response:
Certainly counselling can help. however, there is a caveat, namely, you will need the right counsellor with the right approach. This leads to two questions: 1) What are the identifiers for the right counsellor, and 2) What is the right approach?1) What are the identifiers for the right counsellor? The right counsellor will almost certainly have a lot of experience. He or she will have done a lot personal work and have an ongoing practice of inner work both on their own and with the support of an experienced therapist. This person will be viewing you as a human being with challenges, not as a diagnostic category. He or she will be willing to work with you over an extended period of time and have experience doing such work. Further they will be well versed in approaches that are responsive to you in the moment and overall. The in-depth work will be collaborativel designed in an ongoing way that is responsive to you, the moment, your overall life experience, and their in-the-moment experience. It goes without saying that you will subjectively evaluate the felt sense of connection with this person and the feeling that they are invested in their work with you, value you as a human being, and value the connection. As well, it is crucial that you feel this connection and that your therapist 'gets you.' 2) What is the right approach?  As Carl Jung stated, "When the doctor sits down with the patient he (or
she) must drop all theories and learn the theory of this person." The approach must include a bond between you and your therapist that is in a continuous process of development, attention to pre-verbal imprinting, development of awareness ability, ongoing development of the ability to attend to and stay with inner experience, development of a process orientation, attention to egoic structures that were seeded from the earliest days in the service of perceptions of threats to needs being met, identification of current egoic states and work with these inner selves and their relationship with each other to facilitate movement from developmental points of arrest, increased ability to access and contain non-ordinary states of consciousness, attending to what is, and working with this in the service of moving towards optimal human development.depression is generally experienced as the system shutting down. anxiety is a signal that something is wrong. anxiety is not the problem. it is a sign that there is a problem. the core of these issues is a lack of inner security that is the outcome of insufficient bonding. the work of psychotherapy is to establish an environment and relationship that will facilitate work with the bonding ruptures and re-initiation of the developmental process that stopped at an early stage.


Instruction:
I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for a number of years. I have been on medication, but lately my depression has felt worse. Can counseling help?

Response:
My initial response:  consider a more comprehensive MH assessment to determine other factors. A medical evaluation is warranted to rule out poor health issues. Blood work is helpful. Review what hadn't helped.


Instruction:
I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for a number of years. I have been on medication, but lately my depression has felt worse. Can counseling help?

Response:
From whom do you get anti-depressants?This person should be talking with you to know whether the pills are helping or not.Trust your own instinct that the pills aren't helping you.Pills work differently for everyone and not all people feel better from them.It is also possible the particular pills have lost their effectiveness because after around six to eight months, this usually happens.Try to understand what is depressing you.  This is slow work since you may have many theories.Just by addressing your own emotional needs and life structure in a caring and respectful way, may improve your mood so that you'll feel less depressed.


Instruction:
There are many people willing to lovingly provide me with a home. I have food, clothes, and a university education, but I never feel like I belong. Even when I have a good time with people who are supposed to be close, I feel like I'm just out with friends and I never go home.

Response:
From the little bit you wrote, my guess is you haven't figured out where and how to lay down your own set of roots.Usually people who have a university level eduction are old enough to work in order to support themselves.Unless you have a medical condition which limits or prevents you from working a full-time job, would you guess that the effort and thought involved in deciding in what professional area and geographic location to look for work, would offer you a way to establish your identity?My suggestion is to pay more attention to your own likes, dislikes, and interests.   To know these areas more deeply would define the type of people with whom you identify, have a common interest and with whom you'd like to socialize.The more you realize who you are, the easier time you'll have to find like-minded others and feel securely at home with them and yourself.Again, if you have a medical disability or condition which prevents employment or easily socializing with other people, then this advice would need to be modified for your specific strengths.


Instruction:
There are many people willing to lovingly provide me with a home. I have food, clothes, and a university education, but I never feel like I belong. Even when I have a good time with people who are supposed to be close, I feel like I'm just out with friends and I never go home.

Response:
For some people, having a sense of belonging takes some time.You mentioned that you have an education and some basic daily needs. I wonder if you may be able to look at your relationship with yourself and what makes you feel happy, safe, and having a sense of accomplishment. If you have those feelings, I wonder how you define trust and who you trust.You say you have a good time with people who are "supposed to be close," so I wonder what keeps them from feeling close. I have also wondering if you have been emotionally hurt in the past, and if so, you may have some protective defenses that you use (maybe on purpose, maybe not) to protect yourself from being hurt again. Remember that this idea comes in degrees where you can be more perfect in certain situations and a little less in others. Being emotionally protected is on a spectrum or continuum, where you can make an infinite amount of adjustments or changes with different people and situations.I also wonder what it is that you want in your "home," and how you define it. Consider giving yourself permission to think about how you would define your perfect home in a world where there were no realistic restrictions (such as money or location). After you have that, consider what parts of that you can have. Perhaps there is a small part that you could make a reality within a week or so.Thank you for reaching out. If this continues to be difficult for you, consider seeing a local mental health professional so you can discuss some more specific details.


Instruction:
I am really worried about one of my friends because I think he has major depression. He disagrees with me on that. He is shut off when it comes to talking to people and telling them how he really feels. He told me he feels empty inside and the only emotions he feels are anger and sadness. I suggested to him to get help and talk to his mom about it but he refuses.

Response:
First of all, I can tell that you really care about your friend and I think it's great that you are reaching out with your concern. It's hard to determine whether your friend would meet the criteria for an official diagnosis of depression without working with him, however, whether he does or not, therapy may be beneficial for him in working through these difficult feelings and relational challenges. Unfortunately, you can't make your friend get help. He will ultimately need to make that decision for himself, however, you can talk to him about your concerns and your hopes that he will reach out for help.


Instruction:
I've become so jaded that I can't control my thoughts. I cannot focus on anything and been having anxiety attacks.

Response:
Maybe your thoughts require your attention and the best course would be to pay attention and follow them!If you're in an especially stressful or uncertain time in your life, then the best way through is to understand the tension you feel.It keeps trying to get you to know whats going on deep within you.Anxiety is a sign of stress and weariness.  Your thoughts are a chance to simply rest and know what they would like you to know.Then, when that process is finished your anxiety will no longer be necessary and will most likely leave you alone.


Instruction:
I've become so jaded that I can't control my thoughts. I cannot focus on anything and been having anxiety attacks.

Response:
I imagine that it's pretty disconcerting to feel as though you lost yourself.When you said that you are jaded, I'm not sure whether you mean that you are jaded toward someone, something, life in general, or some combination thereof.One of the difficult things about anxiety is that anxiety can lead to more anxiety because of being concerned about having another panic attack. Consider remembering that panic attacks usually only last a few minutes and the reason they don't go away right away is because of the way your brain releases chemicals because some part of your brain is reacting as if you are in danger in some way.As far as finding yourself, you may consider looking at what parts of each day you can control as a way to stay centered. You could also focus on something that makes you feel happy and/or comfortable.You may also consider the list of values here to give yourself an idea of what is most important to you, what it is that you are living by now, and what values you would prefer to live by. http://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/values-clarificationIf this proves to be difficult, consider seeing a local therapist.


Instruction:
When I get around a particular person or when I go home, I'm just sad or irritated. The feeling comes and goes all day every day. I don't know what wrong. I'm not sure if I'm just making up symptoms and problems in my head or if there is something actually wrong.

Response:
Feelings are real, is very unlikely that you are making them up since they are a response to the thoughts in your mind and your daily experiences and interactions. Often we assume that feeling sadness is bad and that we should only feel happiness and joy; but all feelings have a purpose: joy, sadness, anger, frustration, excitement, anxiety, among others.   Is not healthy to experience the same feeling for a long time, so we should learn to identify what causes them and how to process them so you can navigate through life experiences with more ease. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in Texas, currently providing services in West Houston.  You may reach me at 787-466-5478 to schedule an appointment.   ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Me he estado sintiendo tristeCuando salgo con una persona en particular o cuando llego a casa, estoy triste o irritado.  El sentimiento viene y va todo el día. No sé qué está mal.  No estoy seguro si estoy inventando los síntomas y problemas en mi cabeza o si algo realmente está mal. Los sentimientos son muy reales, y es muy poco probable que los estés inventando, por que los sentimientos son una respuesta tanto a los pensamientos que hay en nuestra cabeza, y, a las situaciones que nos ocurren día a día.  Muchas veces pensamos que sentirnos triste está mal, y que solo debemos sentirnos alegres, pero todas las emociones tienen un propósito y razón de ser, tanto la alegría, como la tristeza, el coraje, la frustración, la excitación o el desespero, entre otros.  No es bueno quedarnos estancados una emoción.  Así que es importante aprender a identificar que causa nuestros sentimientos, como procesarlos para poder superar nuestras emociones y movernos de una experiencia a otra con más tranquilidad.
Soy Consejera Profesional Licenciada en Texas y Puerto Rico, veo clientes en el este de Houston y proveo servicios de tele terapia.  Para una cita puedes llamar al 787-466-5478.


Instruction:
I am a teenager. I have been experiencing major episodes of depression (if that's even what it is) for several years. It’s always getting worse. I have been having panic attacks, feeling like I can't control my fears, and I can't even bring myself to care if I live or die anymore. The problem is that I don't know who to ask for help. When I try to talk to my parents, I freeze completely and can't do anything but make a joke because never once in my life have we talked about our feelings.

Response:
I understand that talking about our feelings can be awkward and using jokes is a way to relieve that awkwardness, but there is a right or wrong way to talk about your feelings. The important part is to recognize that you need help addressing those feelings and reaching out, which you are doing already.  Having small conversations with your family is helpful, you can explain to them that you have been experiencing emotional discomfort and would like to talk to them about it.   Since you been experiencing anxiety, panic attacks, and have thought about dying,  It is VERY important that you ask them to help you make an appointment with a mental health professional.  Those symptoms indicate that your body is having a hard time managing intense feelings and it will be helpful if you understand why they occur and how to cope with them. You may contact your school counselor or you may schedule an appointment with a local therapist.  You may contact the Texas Crisis Hotline 800-989-6884 where you can talk or chat with mental health professionals or schedule a teletherapy session.   The National Crisis Hotline is also available for calling and texting 1-800-273-8255.I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in Texas, currently providing services in West Houston.  You may reach me at 787-466-5478 to schedule an appointment.   ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------¿Cómo hablo de mis sentimientos de depresión y con quién hablo?Soy un adolecente.  He estado experimentando episodios de depresión severa (si es lo que creo) por muchos años.  Siempre se pone peor.  He estado teniendo ataques de pánico, sintiendo que no puedo controlar mis miedos y sintiendo que ya no importa si quiero vivir o morir.  El problema es que ya no sé a quién pedirle ayuda.  Cuando intento hablar con mis padres, Me congelo y solo puedo hacer bromas porque nunca en mi vida hemos hablado de nuestros sentimientos. Entiendo que hablar de tus emociones puede hacernos sentir inadecuados, y bromear es una manera de manejar ese sentimiento incómodo, pero no hay forma correcta o incorrecta de hablar sobre tus sentimientos.  Lo importante es reconocer que necesitas ayuda para manejarlos, y ya tu estas en ese proceso.  Tener pequeñas conversaciones con tu familia te ayudara a explicarles los sentimientos que estas experimentando.  Es importante que les pidas hacer una cita con un profesional de la salud mental, ya que has estado experimentando síntomas que indican que tu cuerpo ya no puede manejar tus sentimientos y necesita nuevas herramientas.  Puedes contactar a tu consejero escolar, o a un proveedor de salud mental cerca de ti o por teléfono.  Mientras tanto, puedes llamar a la línea de crisis de Texas 800-989-6884 para hablar con un profesional de salud mental.  La línea nacional de crisis también esta disponible en todos los Estados Unidos y proveen servicios en español 1-800-273-8255
Yo soy una Consejera Profesional Licenciada en Texas y Puerto Rico, veo clientes en el este de Houston y proveo servicios de tele terapia.  Para una cita puedes llamar al 787-466-5478.


Instruction:
I feel lazy and numb. I have no interest in things.

Response:
Maybe right now it is time for you to rest before the next wave of new activity comes along.To have "no interest" may mean you are already so saturated with recent situations and their meaning that you are naturally withdrawing in order to regain your energy.


Instruction:
I'm currently struggling with diagnosed depression, anxiety, and Misophonia. Also, I am 99% sure I have Borderline Personality Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder. I read the DSM-IV, taken college psychology, etc. I know it in my heart I have them. Is self-diagnosing okay with the right research?

Response:
Any diagnosis is limited in its usefulness.Knowing the name of some typical ways you may feel, think and behave, doesn't help you or anyone to understand why the person is the way they are and how to change any of these characteristics.Both self-diagnosing and being diagnosed are equally unhelpful to know why you are the way you are and what to do about it.Consider yourself a person who wants to find a better way to be who you are, and this will get you further with better results than to read a list of descriptions which all are very indicting and negative sounding.


Instruction:
I'm currently struggling with diagnosed depression, anxiety, and Misophonia. Also, I am 99% sure I have Borderline Personality Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder. I read the DSM-IV, taken college psychology, etc. I know it in my heart I have them. Is self-diagnosing okay with the right research?

Response:
Hello, and thank you for your question. Self-diagnosing is something that we all do about one health issue or another. Taking a guess about what may or may not be happening to us is completely normal, however the actual clinical diagnoses of a mental health disorder requires a licensed mental health professional. Here are a few reasons for this: 1. Making a clinical diagnosis often requires other things besides matching up the symptoms of a disorder. To come to a diagnoses for any of the things you mentioned, a counselor would consult the DSM, but they may also use some type of screening tool, assessment or scale. Many disorders have similarities and it requires someone with training to tease out the differences in the symptoms. 2. Our judgement is sometimes off when it comes to assessing ourselves. We really can't be objective. Something as serious as determining a diagnosis really needs to be done by someone who has that objectivity. In addition, once you know your diagnosis, treating it usually requires help from a professional. 3. Sometimes the symptoms of a mental health disorder makes self-diagnoses impossible, in and of itself. For example, someone could be having hallucinations or delusions and not realize it. That would clearly make it impossible for them to diagnose themselves. There a many examples where something like this could happen with different mental health disorders. There are other reasons, but these are three important ones. Now, does this mean that you are wrong about your diagnosis? Maybe not. You may be correct. But, it is important to get this confirmed by a professional mental health clinician. If a disorder is then found, you can begin to talk about treatment. Hope this was helpful. Be well.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC


Instruction:
In the past year, two of my best and only close friends moved to different states. Now I have nobody to hang out with. I'm always alone, and I honestly haven't hung out with anyone since they left. I'm super lonely. What should I do to make new friends? Because they moved and I have no friends now, I think I'm falling into a depression or something. I just need help.

Response:
Definitely it is sad to lose friends who are a regular part of daily life.How did you meet the two friends who just moved away?   Its possible that you could look for similar situations and see if anyone catches your interest to know as a friend.Keeping in mind that friendship is based on trust and common interests, and that these qualities require time to observe and develop, think of what you can do to keep happy while these paths unfold.In addition to being open to meeting new friends, involve yourself in projects from which you'll feel satisfied by your own results.


Instruction:
I am the problem. I make my family argue because of me. My mom has even said it. It's constantly like this. I cause problems. I am worthless. I can't stop crying. Sometimes I have to cry myself to sleep. I can't even leave my room because my family can't stand me.

Response:
I am so very sorry for how pressured and sad you feel right now.Definitely all family members have an effect on the other ones.From what you write, your family members are not considering the effect their negative comments have on you.Also, keep in mind that each person is responsible for deciding to argue or find a different way to discuss a problem. You are not in control of the other people in your family.More likely they take the easy way out and blame you for what they don't want to know about themselves.Stay aware that the family's decision to target you doesn't mean that you are doing something wrong.   Certainly your existence is not wrong, which is the degree to which the unfairness seems to have spread.What to do about it is read about family systems to see more explanations on how you are being unfairly treated.Also stay in touch with friends bc these are the people who value and respect you.


Instruction:
I'm depressed often, and my mind goes a million miles a minute. Every once in a while, things are okay for a few days. After a bit, I start noticing that I am picking at my skin profusely. After roughly a week, the anxiety is back and still picking. Sometimes I find myself causing fights to have change.

Response:
One way to know yourself a little better and why the dynamics you describe take place, is to understand the particular dynamics of your life context.Look at your major areas of where you spend your time, whether you are happy with the people with whom you socialize, how you feel toward family members and how they seem to feel toward you.If you examine your relationships and life this way then you may start to notice areas where you have some control or at least a say in how your life is going.If you are socializing among people whom you don't like, have a job you don't like and your family mistreats you and you mistreats them, for example, then anxiety and depression are an understandable natural result.If you make improvements in your life and relationships, even tiny improvements and even the effort and intention to improve, you may find your anxiety and depression dissipating.People usually feel their worst when they feel lack of control in their life.Look for ways you can regain and/or strengthen yours.


Instruction:
I'm depressed often, and my mind goes a million miles a minute. Every once in a while, things are okay for a few days. After a bit, I start noticing that I am picking at my skin profusely. After roughly a week, the anxiety is back and still picking. Sometimes I find myself causing fights to have change.

Response:
Hello, and thank you for your question. I am very sorry that you are struggling. I have a few thoughts and perhaps some of my colleagues will add something else. Depression and anxiety can both be chronic conditions, as you have experienced. This means that they may always require treatment in order to have some kind of relief from them. Treatment could mean medication or some kind of counseling. Some people may take medication for the rest of their lives. Some people may go to counseling at times when the depression and anxiety worsens. As you mentioned, sometimes the symptoms improve for a little while, but they can also come back. When they do, it is important to talk to your medical provider if you are getting medication, and/or to go back to your counselor and talk to them about the symptoms that have returned. Skin picking and some other behaviors are not uncommon for people who are experiencing something like anxiety. Many people report that they do this when they feel anxious, and some say it calms them down. It is not really a surprise that you are constantly trying to change things and even starting fights to do so. These are ways to try to avoid, escape and distract yourself from the feelings of anxiety and depression. That is a very normal thing to do. Nobody likes these feelings, and so distraction is something we naturally try in order to get rid of them. The problem is that things like distraction and escape do not work as a long-term solution. In fact, they usually make things worse for many different reasons. Depression and anxiety can  be treated, but it is likely something you will need some help with. I would recommend finding a counselor who has experience with anxiety and depression. Medication can be helpful, but I still recommend counseling. The reason for this is that the medication can help with symptoms, while the counseling can address the symptoms and provide you with very helpful skills. Be well,Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC


Instruction:
I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to?

Response:
You have already taken the brave first step of making the decision to heal from it and find a professional that will help you do so. There are lots of different options nowadays for therapists, as you can see them online or in an office.  My biggest tip for you is to use Psychology Today or Counsel Chat to find a therapist.  Enter in your zip code and you will find many different therapists you can talk to . Be sure to find someone that you most resonate with and ask them any questions you may have. Many  times, therapists will provide free consultations and this can be a great opportunity to see if you are a good fit.


Instruction:
I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to?

Response:
The first step, which you've taken, is actually wanting to talk to someone. It's a great sign that you are seeking to reach out for help. And there are therapists everywhere (there are even therapists online, so you don't have to be that close to them or their office.)There are several sites that I refer people to to begin the process of looking for a therapist. I usually have them start with psychologytoday.com. Once there (there is a therapist directory), you can narrow choices down by ages that they work with, insurance they accept, depression as an issue they focus in, etc. You can also narrow down by therapist's modality, but that can get complicated if you aren't too familiar with the various theoretical approaches. It's important that you find someone that you feel understands your situation. That might mean that they identify an issue you are having in their profile, or on their professional website. But, you should try to meet a couple of different therapists if you aren't quite sure. It can be challenging that first session, but your best (note, not "THE best") therapist will help you feel comfortable (or as comfortable as possible, given therapy can be uncomfortable especially at first) and understood from the get-go.I have found that asking friends or family for names and recommendations Is also a common way to find a therapist, because it can come from a trusted referral source. But remember that we are all different, so what works for one might not always be a good fit. And again, it could take a couple of first sessions with different therapists to know if someone is a good fit (sometimes, it can take a few sessions.) And if there is no one around that can give a name or two, then searching online is quite common and can yield positive results.And try not to give up! Finding a therapist is not easy, but finding a good one for you is extremely rewarding.


Instruction:
I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to?

Response:
Hi,Reaching out here is a great start! I recommend looking for somebody in your area that works with people experiencing depression. After you've chosen somebody to try, feel free to call them for a consultation! A lot of counselors and therapists offer free consultations, and remember that your counselor is working for you, so make sure they are a good fit! I hope this has been of some help.


Instruction:
I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to?

Response:
Hang in there! Feeling depressed sucks but talking with someone can really help - so its awesome that you're already trying to figure out how to find that person. Tons of good suggestions already but to add my two cents - you can find therapists in your area and read a little bit about them to find someone you like the sound of via this website, and also via www.psychologytoday.com; if you have health insurance your insurer might be able to make recommendations as to therapists covered by your plan, or if you happen to be in school, the school itself should be able to connect you with either their own counselor or a center that they recommend nearby. Finding someone can take a few calls or a bit of research so if you need some immediate support, or find yourself having thoughts of hurting yourself, you can also call the great folks who run the Suicide crisis line https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org - they are great in moments of crisis.


Instruction:
I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to?

Response:
Great that you realize talking with a professional counselor about how you feel, would be helpful!If you'd like a very fast response by phone, then google "depression hotline" for where you live.  And, if you have a specific topic which upsets you then google around with this topic to see if there are services specific to your interest.If you've got time to invest in looking for the best fit therapist for yourself, then google "therapy' or "therapist".There will be many, many names which come up.I know I sound like I work for google only it is the easiest way to find lots of information.I send you good luck!


Instruction:
I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to?

Response:
Sorry to hear you are feeling that way.    Is there a 24-hour helpline where you are that you can call?   Here is a website with some numbers to call:  https://psychcentral.com/lib/common-hotline-phone-numbers/      You could talk to your family doctor and they could help you find a therapist?   You could also use this website to find a therapist.  https://therapists.psychologytoday.com.  I sincerely hope you find someone to talk to.