(He tears a pillow) Tantrum! I am so psyched! Marshall and I haven't done something, just the two of us, for so long. Ever since he got married, he's turned from an "I" to a "We".",1 2722,"Hey, haven't seen you all week. How you doing?",1 2723,Hmm.,0 2724,"I broke his nose with a chair. And now, apparently, I may end up getting deported.",4 2725,A cit...,0 2726,It is.,4 2727,"But you know, it's not going to be easy, this test. It's not like the Canadian citizenship test.",0 2728,How do you know the Canadian test is easy?,4 2729,Tantrum!,1 2730,"Don't worry, we'll get out on the road, it'll be just like old times.",3 2731,"Yellow, that reminds me, I have to pee.",2 2732,"That reminds me, I have to pee.",2 2733,"The Bill of Rights. Look, Barney, I know all this. I'm ready.",4 2734,"Ready for the test maybe, but ready to be an American? Not on your sweet life. For you to be an American, we got to get the Canadian out of you. That's why I've created these questions. Question one: "Who is this?"",0 2735,"It didn't work, I'm still here. Marshall, what are we doing? We should be on the road.",1 2736,"Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be an American, y'all. (She throws one bottle on the floor) Maybe I'll rob a liquor store. Maybe I won't. My choice. Learn English! The Hoser Hut. I could duck in for a drink. No, no, that life's behind me. Forget it. Well, I could in for just one beer. What's the harm in that? It's a free country. (She crosses the road and enter into the bar) *O Canada Our home and native land...* Oh, God, I miss it. *True patriots love...*",4 2737,"What are you doing? We can't just leave Lily. When she wakes up, she's going to freak!",3 2738,"If she's pissed, she's pissed.",3 2739,This Canadian. (He opens the curtains) Oh. That was supposed to be a dramatic view of the Toronto sky- you're in Toronto.,0 2740,"We started drinking. And the next thing I know, they're inviting me to a Bryan Adams/Rich title double bill in Toronto.",4 2741,"Now, that's ridiculous. We're gonna get some coffee, in you, we'll sober you up, and get you back to New York for that test. But, before any of that, we're gonna do it on this bed 'cause... hotel room. Okay, let's get some coffee.",0 2742,Kind of cross.,1 2743,Cornmeal...,3 2744,"Yeah, give me two coffees.",4 2745,"Dude, don't look at it. That's a rookie mistake.",1 2746,We shouldn't have left Lily.,3 2747,"I'm sorry! No, I'm sorry. I never should have been mad at you!",1 2748,"Best bros. Hey, you want to crank some Van Halen just like old times?",1 2749,Hmm.,0 2750,"Hey, baby? Baby?",3 2751,"Did you go somewhere, sweetie?",2 2752,That's good. And I'm so sorry you didn't get any pizza.,3 2753,"Baby, cut it out of me.",3 2754,"That was a wild trip, huh, Ted?",3 2755,I know. It was kind of crazy. But how great is it to drink some Tantrum again?,1 2756,"It does not stop him from screaming to play louder, but it seems that there is rather strong. I have a glass of water in my room that vibrates like Jurassic Park.",4 2757,Not at all.,1 2758,I gotta go.,0 2759,"She makes her dishes right away, Ted. I give them two or three weeks maximum.",0 2760,An Ottoman 19th in an antique shop.,0 2761,Let me ask you a question.,0 2762,"Do you mind you, if the sink is full of dirty dishes?",0 2763,Not really.,3 2764,"But if I said that, we will play, so...",3 2765,"But when you have a problem with Lily, it is discussed.",3 2766,"There's so much to do with the mouth. Why spoil it by talking? But if you insist, here's what I would say on the dishes if I was married to Lily.",0 2767,"Thank you, doll.",0 2768,"Honey, you're going to wash it?",2 2769,It's because you're a woman.,0 2770,"Wait, Ted. Listen to the man.",3 2771,"No. Marshall, look at me. Do not go into the circus of Barney Stinson, the house of mirrors and illogical logic. You got ear pierced like that in 2003.",1 2772,I hate it! I hate it from the depths of my soul! I hate it! I hate it I hate it!,3 2773,Okay. There you are. You're gonna tell me the truth. Barney said that you did ever played.,1 2774,Impossible. I love you both but you're the two biggest emotional disabilities in the history of relations. You had to play at least once.,1 2775,"You know what? It's true. We tried to find out which of us was most great. But it said draw and we made love. Speaking of that, I am delighted that we go skiing this weekend. I need a break. The upstairs neighbors make me crazy.",4 2776,Will it work.,3 2777,We bet a slap.,1 2778,"Lily, I am delighted that you mention. No. And that's why... It's like, okay? You want me to get up and I wash my dishes. But maybe... I want you... combs the ceiling, right? I can say, "Yes. I will do my dishes, if you get up and you painted the ceiling of naked babies. " You see? It's just...",3 2779,"I do not know what happened. I am a lawyer. I earn my living by arguing but when it is with Lily, I'm... confused. How not to be with her eyes and her breasts?",3 2780,What happened to the "I'm tired after my exhausting day and I want to use what little energy I have left to cover you with love"?,0 2781,Dance for me.,3 2782,I teach kindergarten. I shape the leaders of tomorrow.,2 2783,My mother does not hate you. It is neutral about you.I'm not afraid of your imitation of Shining. I just did not need to hear it mostly at night.,3 2784,"Dude, Lily is played badly. It is small... but as a vicious badger that your brother would have caught and starved for 5 days and placed in your sleeping bag. I should go and apologize.",3 2785,"You need to be angry. Dispute yourself stronger.Imagine that Marshall never have to wash dishes in all your life, all the plates are clean. Why, it would relieve any anxiety to any meal. Not having to tie your T-shirt to form a bowl of salted fortune for your pleasures. This world belongs to you, Marshall.Beach house, take it, put yourself in holiday clothes, benefits.",0 2786,You're cute nicknames? Seriously. What happens to you both?,1 2787,Nothing. We're just happy.,4 2788,"Yeah, yeah, I did. I went up ready to put them back.",1 2789,"I did not have the strength to tell them to stop, because, good for them. So I told them you want to welcome, ate a hard caramel, acquiesced to some r*cist comments and I left.",1 2790,"Super. So I do not care if you have an orgasm. If you do not give a damn, do it yourself.",2 2791,"Thank you, Robbie Engineering.",1 2792,"Seriously, stop.",4 2793,"Apparently, she loves them now. And... come on, someone had to stop T-Mose.",3 2794,How will Marshall and Lily?,0 2795,Enough. The game is over.,1 2796,What do you mean by that?,0 2797,Phil told me.,1 2798,Your downstairs neighbor.,1 2799,This trick of dodging is over?,0 2800,"Look, we were fed up everyone to tell us how we are no relations.",0 2801,"Marshall, dinner is ready.",2 2802,You've done for me?,3 2803,"Sure, honey.",3 2804,"You see? At the moment, how did you do to fix everything?",4 2805,And keep in mind that the love you have for that other person is more important than winning.,2 2806,More important than winning.,0 2807,Best couple of the world!,3 2808,"Your girlfriend? This is your girlfriend!? It is small and it's your friend? Do not humanize the enemy. But, delighted.",0 2809,Come on. Open it. It's p*rn collection! Just kidding. It would be weird.,0 2810,It's your p*rn collection.,1 2811,"My God, matte videos. The orgy of space? The surprise party of 23 students naughty?",2 2812,"You'd think after 22 celebrations, students would no longer surprises.",3 2813,So what? They are happy.,3 2814,We're sure he had done?,2 2815,"I spotted this girl there, and I will need help to land the plane.",1 2816,Shut up.,4 2817,They k*ll.,1 2818,"Of course, my heart.",2 2819,It's a bad time. It takes time to get used to each other. They are... How do you say "selfish" nicely?,2 2820,Yeah.,3 2821,It's a bad time. Let us do things.,2 2822,"Two against one, Ted. Let them.",2 2823,"Did you notice that the beef ribs were absolutely disgusting, but recently they have become delicious?",0 2824,"I'll get to the point, and ask you a question. Are you happy with Robin?",3 2825,"Can you ask me this question. We argue constantly, but you know what they say about relationships, "Every moment is a battle."",0 2826,We will release... the Kraken.,3 2827,I just started.,2 2828,Please. You've got to break. This relationship is k*ll them.,3 2829,"That sucks. Why not let Barney be tempted by a sexy girl? (Barney wipes his hands on his shirt) Okay, going to the ring.",3 2830,"Scherbatsky" is hard to spell.,4 2831,My mother would be so happy.,0 2832,What did you do? I'm furious now. It will not?,2 2833,"No, I do not think. (The woman bends down to pick something she brought down) No, actually, I do not know... This is Meg. I do not compare in my mind there. Can you pick me?",0 2834,Really?,4 2835,Come on.,0 2836,"And, of course, the biggest, the Canadian-American w*r.",2 2837,Neil Young is a Canadian treasure. Do not make fun of Neil Young.,4 2838,I never make fun of an old lady paralyzed vocal cord...,0 2839,I've found. I have found. They maile images reminding those fights.,1 2840,"Poor kid. This is how it will happen. They are the restau... (Lily imagines the scene) First, it rekindles debate US-Canada, when Alan Thicke, a native of Ontario, going to their table.",2 2841,Oh yes. Robin was known when she sang.,3 2842,A Break? Really? You have rented a station wagon?,3 2843,A van costs $ 25 more.,1 2844,They did not stormtrooper so I had to take another robot. It will work also.,2 2845,It continues. The server supports a second sheet.,3 2846,We need it here. It is in hiding.,2 2847,It was the Death Star. They did not sign in the wind.,3 2848,Come on. We find something else.,1 2849,Look at us. It is horrible all the time like that?,4 2850,"It's true. Thin. Maybe in 39 years, if you have not found anyone...",0 2851,You then.,4 2852,"You're not rush a little, then?",2 2853,"The Roles book contains all the scams, trickery, deception, underhand, cunning, nonsense, and embobinages tricks I used, or expected use, to nab the girls and do their business.",0 2854,This guy.,0 2855,What The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn?,1 2856,"So, I have told you, I take a break on that side.",4 2857,What?,4 2858,Very soon.,3 2859,"It's unlikely, I focus on my career, finished the rencards.",4 2860,"Matthew Blitz, accounting job, said... "I will die alone.To focus as much on taxes this year. "Six months later? PACS and plans to marry pending the enactment of the Act currently in the Senate from New York!",3 2861,Trust me. I would not get interested in relationships. I would not be single if I wanted to be single.,1 2862,You... dirty bastard.,2 2863,I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.,0 2864,"Yes. You do not know who I am, does not it? It feels good for once. Nice to meet you...",0 2865,"Shelly? Again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. It is written as it is pronounced, with two "T". (He leaves) Then, once you leave, she takes out her phone and tries Lorenzo Von Matterhorn on the Internet. And that's when she discovers... A series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. A false item of business on Lorenzo, the hermit billionaire. The fake of the Explorer Club newsletter on his trip to the North Pole in an airship, a feat of imagination and challenge. The fake medical journal with a story to make you cry the doctors saying that a reduction of the penis is not an option. And time to return... (Barney returns to Shelly) I hate to be cheeky, but I can offer you a coffee?",0 2866,Why would it be inconsolable? The airship of Lorenzo will not disappear in the Arctic for a week. Sorry if this is that someone told her that it was lies.,0 2867,Lies!,2 2868,What?,2 2869,"You! She will never trust a man. You've spoiled for Ted.Not to mention Julio Von Matterhorn, the twin brother of Lorenzo.",0 2870,I'll fetch the newspaper.,4 2871,Grave.,3 2872,You did not say nonsense.,0 2873,No more nonsense!,2 2874,"Oh, my god, it's horrible. I wonder if it works.",1 2875,It's not very well designed. This is not Ms. Stinsfire.,3 2876,"Apparently, it will rain.",1 2877,"It's good. I put the Book of Roles on the Internet. Baby, you can put the Book of Roles on the Internet?",2 2878,"Barney, no. You are...",2 2879,She is getting married.,3 2880,I will prepare my toast.,1 2881,"It's a coffee, huh?",3 2882,"It is. You say you do not want a relationship. Well, the love of your life will not pass this door, and this is... this kind.",3 2883,"No comment. The blue jacket, it does not suit me, so...",4 2884,I'm really going to work.,4 2885,We brought the turkey.,4 2886,"Yes! It's my turkey! Come here, my beautiful little enfoirée!",3 2887,You're the best friends in the world!,3 2888,It was a team effort.,0 2889,Wait. What?,0 2890,"Two, you must decide which of you will. Three, we will attach to the chair Barney, now be called The Throne of Baffe. It fits you?",3 2891,Awesome.,2 2892,Dad?,2 2893,You should pay rent to live in the basement of your parents.,2 2894,Working? You are retired.,2 2895,You not only prevented them from moving to Florida but you obliged to rework grandfather?,2 2896,I want to see him! Returns it!,2 2897,"Stay there, okay? We will solve the problem.",3 2898,I hope Lily is well.,4 2899,"I die, I, here. Ted takes a chip, I jump! Robin arranges her hair, I jump! I jump all the time. It's bad for my skin. It gives me wrinkles. Wrinkles!",0 2900,So we can give pieces of chicken not cooked.,3 2901,And finish it!,0 2902,"No. To you, I insist.",1 2903,I say I'll slap.,4 2904,It is not ridiculously close.,3 2905,I'm sorry but it's weird.,2 2906,"Yeah, kind, all the time. She tells this story all the time...",3 2907,It must be half an hour. We should get Lily.,3 2908,Are you sure?,1 2909,"Commissioner of the bet-Baffe, tie me to the chair is a violation...",0 2910,You just 2 minutes. You decided which of you will be entitled to a slap in the face to Barney?,3 2911,"You just go through a break... and even though I know that you and Barney are remained on good terms, there is not a part of you, well hidden that wants to slap in the face?",1 2912,"So, I want to move. Mickey?",4 2913,Gently!,0 2914,"No. No, no, no, no. It is the Commissioner of the bet-Baffe. It must remain impartial!",0 2915,It's not good. Please... Let me...,0 2916,4! So the turkey?,3 2917,That girl over there.,0 2918,Well this girl was and still is Maggie Wilks.,1 2919,"It was the perfect girl next door. And still is. All the guys who meet Maggie fall madly in love with her. And that's the problem. Since I know her, she has been single for only three short windows of time.",1 2920,"She's right baby, if you had worn it in college, even I would not have slept with you. And if you remember, I wanted to.",2 2921,Target secure?,3 2922,"No. They are called not on the shirt, or on t-shirts for wholesale repairing the car and my mother spent some time with her top. They are called overalls, and I can relate to what I want.",0 2923,It was a big tractor 3-axis.,4 2924,"And I know our relationship has suffered in this area, I assure you I'll be the perfect gentleman.",0 2925,"Oh my God, Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. Leave her alone!Lord, she goes out with Ted tonight.",4 2926,I'm in love with her for 12 years!,1 2927,I told him to return. You were like vultures... fighting for his carcass. Let her be single for once.,4 2928,"Oh, sorry, the course we had a little... Who is it?",1 2929,"Yeah, sure!",1 2930,"Well, I found! There are bars country, "the giddy ups", there are tons of guys in overalls. Copilot me!",0 2931,I do not want the "giddy ups." That's what I want. I had forgotten how it felt to seeking the real thing... but I think I'm ready again.,1 2932,"Old Marshall, as long as you're married to Lily you'll be fine.",3 2933,"Ok, ok, I'll go on the roof and stay there all alone 5 minutes.",4 2934,"Okay, okay, I'll go smoke a cigarette.",4 2935,"Okay, I'm done, I Quit!",3 2936,"What are you doing, you have not smoked in 6 months. Is it about "MacGrib"? It closed guy, forget it.",1 2937,The new head of legal department is Hobes Arthur.,0 2938,"Wow, he not remember you.",1 2939,You got smoked!,2 2940,"Hello, I'm Robin Scherbatsky!",4 2941,"But what was that? Don, you said Pet brain!",4 2942,Really? What color is the decor?,4 2943,"It's black, or silver.",3 2944,I think there's a pretty girl smiling at me there.,1 2945,Marco?,3 2946,You're right. Going for a smoke.,0 2947,"It's alright, darling?",3 2948,"I'm proud of you guys. I heard how it was difficult to stop smoking for as you, then the part of non-smokers, I tell you hat, so give me your cigarettes and I rid, one at a time.",0 2949,"Lily God, no.",3 2950,"Really, it's hard enough like that?",3 2951,Marshall pass me your plate.,1 2952,A raccoon has bitten a patient in a nursing home.,4 2953,What are you doing?,4 2954,You watch the show?,4 2955,You know it's the perfect time there. For one last cigarette. The real last.,4 2956,We'd better find a new bar.,4 2957,"What... are you crazy? It's a sexy barmaid. Do you know how long I've waited for me... My friends, I slept with many women in my glory days. Lawyers, professors, poets, doctors, professional riders, and animators... A butcher, a baker, a candle maker. Yes, we got to the part where it rhymes. A teacher, a restorative, an observer... A puppeteer, a croupier, a housewife, it is also a job, guys. A circuit court judge...",0 2958,You see? Marshall does not think she's sexy.,4 2959,Why?,1 2960,The second sexiest.,4 2961,It's weird.,1 2962,I do not know why. You're great.,1 2963,The costumes and complexed. I hate them. I hate them.,0 2964,"So, your date with Cindy?",4 2965,"She exaggerates, there, right?",1 2966,"Of course, I listened carefully when you spoke.",2 2967,"What if Cindy is the woman I am to marry, and I give up?Farewell, elegant but cozy house in Westchester, with a reasonable loan that I can pay without ruining me. Goodbye, the two children raised in a strict but loving hand, finding the perfect balance between the father and friend. Adios, triplets Schnauzers, Frank Lloyd Wright and. The fact is, I do not give up either! (Ted gets up and kissed the urn of Barney before leaving) I do not know why I did that.",1 2968,"Thank you, old friend. You go on a good sh*t.",0 2969,I never said that.,2 2970,You think so!,3 2971,"I'm just, like, me, my friend, against it, its old.",3 2972,Can we talk?,1 2973,"You should. It is really good. And that? It is the height. You play the bass? Seriously, ask my friends. I have always said that my perfect woman... does not play bass, because that is clearly that of your roommate.",1 2974,"Okay. Expected. No, this is not the bathroom. This is...",0 2975,I'm the suit-sitting for someone.,0 2976,Costumes!,0 2977,Do we see.,0 2978,"Mind you, it is rather barrel. (Back at Barney) I choose you you, baby. Tomorrow morning, I get rid of these costumes.",0 2979,"This is a new lawyer in the office of Marshall, he is hilarious.",2 2980,But you are... really... I did not know that...,1 2981,"Wait, if you tell me that you flirt with a woman other than yours, I'll pull out and hit you.",1 2982,"I should correct, it would have been so simple.",3 2983,"No, I go on TV.",4 2984,We're friends.,4 2985,Go!,1 2986,"Hey baby, I go up there.",2 2987,"What, why?",3 2988,"Hello, I'm Lily, Marshall's wife.",2 2989,You are Jenkins?,2 2990,"Wait, you're not jealous at all?",3 2991,What is this supposed to mean?,3 2992,"I am not diminished for Lily. Yes, it is a bit small, and my mother says she has no hips to carry a baby Eriksen. My God, you think I'm weak.",3 2993,"It's your pen, and you have chewed the end, recently.",1 2994,"That night, great show on poisons. (She goes out, then reopens the door) Also, who makes the worst pizza in New York, I will give you information on traffic streets 5 and 9.",4 2995,Interesting article in the newspaper. They say that in every relationship there is a weak and strong.,3 2996,"It's not that one, it's in another, I've read before. The newspaper reminded me of the old. In short, what do you think?",3 2997,"No, of course not.",2 2998,"I would say this is me, this is what is right.",2 2999,"No, no weak or strong.",2 3000,Everything you need to decide now.,3 3001,... You're a drinking game.,1 3002,What?,4 3003,Yes.,1 3004,"So I guess it's not a great drinking game. This means that last night when we played with Barney, I was not drunk and I did not vomit on it. Except that I did these two things here, take this.",1 3005,Hey Jenkins!,3 3006,What?,2 3007,"I'm so jealous, I'll go see it and hit right on the nose... like an old sandwich. Come on baby, you want some soup?",2 3008,"Shit! Sorry. But, but just. No hum! Your first book was written more quickly?",4 3009,"For a long time, but um...",4 3010,"Ok, um... but thank you for coming but um... If there are students who look, but um, but um, but um...",4 3011,"My God, help us all!",1 3012,"No, who am I to say? Lily? I said to Lily.",3 3013,"Well, it happened! What will we do? It happened!Terrible, like you said. It happened!",3 3014,"No, no, no, please. Just goes away!",1 3015,It all started when I decided to start a small challenge.,0 3016,"You know, sometimes, the guy with thick glasses and a t-shirt of the Smurfs, it's just a cliche. And sometimes it is a moron with a squint and a platonic relationship with Gargamel.",4 3017,It is everything I love that Marshall either.,2 3018,I think I'll take small tits tonight.,0 3019,Thank you.,2 3020,Of course I do.,4 3021,"As in, a toothbrush? You use both?",4 3022,Yeah. The only player in history to have accomplished both Pete was Drexell 'The mustache' in 1896.,0 3023,"Yeah, Ted, we know tons of people who call Jen.",4 3024,"Oh, you're there. The dreaded call from Dale. Oh, that's my mother. She has big health problems. But why does he not call?",4 3025,Yeah. When did you start doing that too?,1 3026,We kept her in the bathroom.,2 3027,"Well done, Jim.",0 3028,Hi. How is Barney?,3 3029,I think he'll get fired.,3 3030,I can not believe that Barney is going to get fired.,1 3031,I'll go talk to him.,2 3032,No! You can not distract a man who is right... you know what.,1 3033,"Come on, it's his career. This is much more important than a stupid without...",2 3034,Is everything okay?,1 3035,"Thank you, Skip.",0 3036,So what did he say?,2 3037,No thank you.,0 3038,Really?,1 3039,"Yeah. I ate at the Tavern of vegetables, I started talking to the Swedish Top Model, and the next moment we batifolait in the back of a carriage. Go my beautiful, Hue!",0 3040,"It's only been five days, he will call!",4 3041,"Lily, what are you doing?",1 3042,"Ok, I have a question. If I ruined everything, why is it that Barney is in the process of hanging the girl three martinis in there?",2 3043,"Oh, my God!",1 3044,There's going to happen!,3 3045,"Lily, I'll buy my own toothbrush.",3 3046,This is Nick Swisher. It is part of the New York Yankees. No regular guy from New York can not compete with a Yankee.,3 3047,I'm still not.,4 3048,"It's happening, look.",3 3049,"I met my soul mate, and he never called back. Well, not yet. He will. He will.",4 3050,"Oh, shit.",4 3051,"Wow, to be honest, this is not my habit, but I feel a real connection, Number 7... Christy. I beg you. I did it! I did it!",0 3052,"You send Wendy to say now? Go! It's good, I understood.Jen Coulin is a crap name, and it becomes increasingly shitty when it is repeated. Jen Coulin. Jen Coulin. Jen Coulin.",1 3053,"Hey, Ranjit!",1 3054,"Nuh, it's scotch.",4 3055,Now that's what I call having a woof over your head. Don. DON?,4 3056,"Well we were on the air, I was on the spot, so I said OK.",4 3057,"Robin, you're gonna marry this man so freaking hard, right in the butt.",3 3058,What? Nooo I HATE Don. And now I can't cancel because I said I would go out with him on the air.,4 3059,"Wow wow wow, you said you'd go out with him on Valentine's? I thought we had plans!",1 3060,"Guys, guys, guys, we're on me now. And it is getting in-teh-resting. Looks at these texts. Read this one. Yowza! Now look at this one. Does she text her mother with those fingers? Now look at this one... or this one, or this one, or this one, or...",0 3061,"I can't do that, Ted. I just can't hook up with a girl if there is a hotter girl out there with whom up can be hooked.",0 3062,Isn't there always a hotter girl?,2 3063,"I know, isn't it wonderful? (answers phone) Go for Barney. Cut to the chase, what's your cup size?...Oh, hi Mom!",0 3064,"So there's a hotter girl. Isn't that the problem in a nutshell? There's too many options. You got internet dating, you got bars...",1 3065,"Err, of course he asked me out.",4 3066,"Get out there and find me a girl. We'll double date on Valentine's Day. If I like her, I will marry her... if she's cool with it. And she will be. Cause I'll wear my nice blazer.",1 3067,"Robin, neurologically speaking, the part of the human brain that makes you hate people is located right next to the part of the brain that makes you want to jump people's bones. The two responses are so similar, it's hard to tell them apart.",3 3068,"(yelling) We're not talking about flavour, Ted.",3 3069,(yelling as well) Flavour counts.,1 3070,"Thank you. And Don is, and always will be, a rabbit.",4 3071,"Well, heeelllooo.",0 3072,"There is no place I would rather be, and no one I would rather be... (phone rings) Would you excuse me for one moment? (picks up in the kitchen) Go for Barney, look, I... You're a gold medalist japanese figure skater? (to the lady bullfighter) Adios, muchacha!",0 3073,McLaren's pub.,0 3074,"Well, heeelllooo.",0 3075,OK.,0 3076,"Ahh now this feels right. There is no place I would rather be, and no one I would rather be... (hears THE phone ringing)",0 3077,McLaren's pub!!,0 3078,"(crying) Go-o for Barrr-neeeeyy. (back to business) D cups, really?",0 3079,"Come... god, Don, what the hell are you doing?",4 3080,So he's a rabbit. At least you know for sure.,1 3081,"Yeah, I've been thinking, hmm, maybe we should call this whole thing off...",1 3082,Married.,2 3083,Blah Blah?,3 3084,Relationship?,3 3085,Bellevue.,2 3086,Ted's her least favorite person in the world.,2 3087,It's a phone girl!?,1 3088,"Oh but Natalia, tell Ted the problem.",3 3089,It's mine now.,1 3090,Being single sucks. It turns you into a crazy person.,1 3091,Exactly.,4 3092,"(sees him with an imaginary duck's beak) Uh, duck!",4 3093,It's the lure of Ted.,0 3094,Do you understand anything?,1 3095,Someone does not want to lose his Dark Brown.,1 3096,What? I am not to his hook.,1 3097,"Yes, completely.",0 3098,"Do you feel pretty good. It is gone. It was on both sides. I was hooked and crocheter. It's good guys. I was shameless, but I did not have money problems.",4 3099,"So I was, like, thinking, Lisa, do, perhaps you want, like, go out with me?",3 3100,So... Lisa Walker gave me false hope for months until one night I went to tell him how much I loved her. In song.,3 3101,"I think my high school boyfriend Scooter, is a little to my hook.",2 3102,"I thought you was talking about a long-awaited means of transport, carrying such poor canteen.",3 3103,Really? In your place I would have rode this scooter all day to break it into two.,3 3104,I feel bad for Scooter. It took this job just because he thinks he has a chance with you. You must ensure that he understands that it is wrong for it turns the page and gets a real work canteen. Shit!,3 3105,"Let me be clear, Scooter. There is no way that you and I are together. For now.",2 3106,"You're right. Tomorrow, that's what I'll do.",2 3107,Why not tomorrow?,3 3108,I will not give up.,1 3109,What? It's just a job.,1 3110,"I know you're having trouble dropping Scooter. I decided that you need training. And you say that the problem is his sad eyes? (He returns with a mini pig) Okay, shut up, woman. Now I want you to look this mini pig and you tell him it is impossible for you to be with him one day.",3 3111,Go! Be a man!,3 3112,"There's no nights like with pharma pharma because the nights never stop! Dude, I've flirted with three of them. The fantasy. In addition, my cholesterol is low. My restless legs syndrome is cured. I am more alive than ever.",0 3113,"Well, no, but...",1 3114,Henrietta and I are just friends.,1 3115,"If you mean to do my laundry, I'm starting lineup.",4 3116,What! I do not keep Mike in my hook.,4 3117,"Come on, Lily. You must drop Scooter. Try it again.",3 3118,Act like a man!,3 3119,Right now! I'm sorry but he is adorable.,3 3120,There is no one. Just the girl with whom you came out recently.,4 3121,You're a little dramatic.,4 3122,"Honestly, I thought to marry him just out of sheer embarrassment. But I did the right thing. I did what anyone who has someone should hook her. I would have broken my heart.",1 3123,Why change your mind?,4 3124,I spent time at a local bar. Entered... a lady.,0 3125,It was not my best tie.,0 3126,"If you're not going to take her 17th hot date, you should give up.",2 3127,"I just have a cold. That's why for my voice. (She goes into the kitchen and tries to pick up the phone) But great for Saturday night. One can go to a restaurant grill, and you could bring a first side for my friends Marshall. I gotta go. Kisses.",3 3128,"That girl that Barney hunting, it seems a somewhat anti-Barney. I like the way the universe has decided to collect.",2 3129,"Is not this the dream of all women? After the break, we'll talk about your new book, Of course you have not yet retirement plan, look at you, poor trail, scheduled for June We come back after the break.",4 3130,That's to say?,4 3131,"This Pilates teacher broke all scores. Imagine Robin, but younger. And bigger breasts. Not bigger, but more shapely.And larger. (Robin phone) I put on the StairMaster and...",0 3132,"Spoilers. Regardless, we did.",0 3133,"You know her. She keeps her emotions for her. But yes, I saw her crying sometimes.",2 3134,Tell me.,0 3135,"If you want my help, it's a super hot date.",1 3136,Cutesy and romantic? (He starts singing) No need to take him to Paris or Peru...,1 3137,What are you doing?,0 3138,Really? You really gonna do that?,0 3139,Tonight is the big night. Where do you take D-Bag?This is a bad nickname for Don. I will look better.,3 3140,Thank you.,4 3141,You're excited to go out with Don?,1 3142,"Wait, but that would mean...",1 3143,Super.,3 3144,"Because I am angry against you. And against me. Ted and cons. And frankly, I still am against the Empire.",3 3145,You see nothing.,1 3146,Of course you'll sleep with her. Why is this super hot date if not?,4 3147,Yeah.,1 3148,Here is my story.,0 3149,"Come on, guys. It was good. It was nice. We spent a pleasant evening. Let... Let him that. Even if...",4 3150,It's my birthday!,2 3151,It's still my birthday!,2 3152,"Small bonus, I took pictures of me naked before packing. With a node.",3 3153,There was not a knot.,2 3154,Of course. You will not last! The photo is forever.,2 3155,"Totally. It is a tightrope, but still.",4 3156,"Okay, I am perhaps a little bossy, but I want to remember it all. Like tonight. I imagine no better birthday being with my 4 best friends only. (A knock at the door) And Ted's here.",2 3157,"Amanda will make a cake for Lily. She is head. We met at the restaurant last week when I returned my soup. Fortunately, she has such beautiful hair it not bother me a bit to eat.",1 3158,I'm really happy you make me my cake.,2 3159,"Sure. Okay, this is Amanda begins. You have 32 seconds to answer a ton of questions. And... Here we go. Lily's favorite color?",3 3160,I think Ted whispered the word "yellow". It is equally untrue. (Later...) This game is called... raising the cost of perfection.,3 3161,"Lily saw The Goonies just after his parents separated. After that, she had real problems of trust.",1 3162,""And that's the strongest person I know. I can not imagine my life without her. I love you, Lily.",3 3163,"Too cute. Lily, guess who wrote it. "You look really nice."",3 3164,"No, it was me. And I meant it.",0 3165,"Tell me if you need help. (Amanda from the kitchen) Quick, group photo! All front of the fireplace.",2 3166,"Lily, what are you talking?",1 3167,Or we could continue the descent on the Avenue Best Birthday.,3 3168,That's Pap Pa......,1 3169,"It was there, we know the end.",4 3170,The funny for this photo. I plottait ass.,4 3171,Of course.,0 3172,"Lily, sorry for Amanda. But I'll say. You make your spoiled rotten. You in all your statements because you think I messed up two three photos?",1 3173,2 months. And I just started making love. I was not ready to stop for 2 months.,3 3174,"And Marshall came to me to spring break. And at the last minute, Ted decided to go with the girl he had just to get back, Karen.",2 3175,2 months! My balls were blue! Blue!,3 3176,Emily. Isabelle.,2 3177,"At the time, I thought each of these girls could be good, but I have to keep hoping. I have no choice.",1 3178,"I'm sorry, Ted. I agree with Lily on this. This kind of evening is hard for someone new. That's why I have not brought Don. When I was in Japan, this guy, hot date for our third, took me to his brother's wedding. Now I, a complete stranger, am on the photo album of the marriage of a Japanese couple forever.",4 3179,I confess. Raspberry was a mistake. But how would I know?,1 3180,If Lily is serious. Get out of this stranger in my house!,3 3181,You know what? I have not slept for 36 hours. Just a few minutes.,3 3182,"And yet you're there, smiling as if nothing was wrong, completely wrong. Robin's birthday, there is 3 years old. Robin had a cold, and you made him remove his pajamas for the photo.",1 3183,"Yeah, but you were beautiful.",2 3184,It's true.,2 3185,No! Why not sitcom of the 80s with two roommates who never agree?,3 3186,Yeah. Just one second per cons. We are writing history. We'll take our first picture of roommate.,3 3187,And if you break it?,1 3188,I liked you.,1 3189,"Now, Marshall!",1 3190,I love traveling.,0 3191,"Hawaii is fun. A buddy of mine lives in Seattle. It's really not bad. But the best place? I must say, the moon.",0 3192,"But I worked at a yogurt shop in high school. And indeed, it was... insane.",3 3193,"So, after 20 minutes, the eagle has landed. We fuse into space. Houston, we have a complainer. Other double entender related to space.",0 3194,"Ted, you've nabbed seven peanuts in a row. Impressive but not enough to be published.",4 3195,seven in a row. But I speak not of it. I talk about my selection for the construction of a scale model of the Empire State Building for the greater recovery of the New York skyline in the world.,1 3196,That's the thing with which you played the other day?,4 3197,Ten seconds.,4 3198,"You know, in fact, it was not me who should pay.Because I do not really like pizza.",3 3199,Did you get mugged?,2 3200,"Yes, because I was as*ault in 1947 at the corner of Abbott and Costello. But no. I cut through Central Park back from work.",3 3201,I repeat. I will say that it happened to me to lie on compassion.,0 3202,"I do not think there's a g*n to my Marshmallow. Now, I tremble. I think I will not sleep all night.",2 3203,It's going to hurt someone. There is the... security.,4 3204,Because I saw that the monkey did and I wanted more after.,3 3205,New information has been discovered on the attack on Marshall.,0 3206,Really? They caught him?,4 3207,He is behind bars.,1 3208,I've seen. That's why I take the taxi.,4 3209,They tracked!,1 3210,Was not... Was not banana banana.,3 3211,You've been mugged by a monkey!,2 3212,It might be curious. You were wearing a yellow hat?,1 3213,You've been mugged by a monkey.,2 3214,What?,1 3215,That's what I said to the girl at the bar just now...,0 3216,"Well, my name is not Neil. This is Bar...",0 3217,"Nobody except the good people of Thailand, China, Costa Rica and many other countries where the crime committed by the monkeys is a common nuisance.",3 3218,"I just invented this story that Lily does not buy a w*apon. In truth, it never happened.",3 3219,I can not believe.,0 3220,I could not say. It smells good. But I could not say.,1 3221,I still say that it happened.,0 3222,"False! They like to discover that they lied. "Because a lie is just a great story that has mixed with the truth." Barney Stinson. Example, that Sarah gave me this!",0 3223,"No, I mean what she did. In truth, I fear that history has not gone exactly as I said.",0 3224,"Come on, Ted.",3 3225,"Come here. Seriously, what's your flavor? It's intoxicating.",1 3226,"I do not think Marshall will lie on TV. And when it gives up, I wanna be there for Robin, with a story. Or rather, 102 stories, because it is the height of a building in New York.",1 3227,Now I want a w*apon.,0 3228,The monkey is there.,3 3229,"Well... I'd love to tell you what happened, Robin. But... I really want to know what's under that sheet.",3 3230,We talk about that. We speak your aggression.,4 3231,"People are attacked every day in New York, Robin, do we often see what's under that sheet? You can sh**t it?",3 3232,What are you doing?,4 3233,Not five minutes. I have not been attacked by a monkey.,3 3234,It's good. I buy a g*n.,2 3235,No! I have not been mugged!,3 3236,You know if it was attacked?,0 3237,I have no idea.,1 3238,Tell us just what happened.,2 3239,Okay! That is the truth. I go back... back to bed.,3 3240,Please do not.,1 3241,"Yeah! Finally, I... I'm glad you're happy.",1 3242,"Oh, congratulations!",2 3243,Inventing an emergency or anything. I... I... I'll get it.,1 3244,"Oh, that's fine. I'm in top form. Go. We'll take a look!",1 3245,"First, let me tell you what happened on the wedding day.",1 3246,We do not want to know what you do on the internet when you feel alone.,2 3247,"So, I thought this piece would be the desktop. You see, a place just for dad. I mean, kids can come if they read a book, but no toy. This is not about to hold my love. It is rather a question of drawing a boundary.",1 3248,"Ted, you're barge. It will take years and a small fortune for it to be liveable.",2 3249,"Okay, well. Ted let alone a little, right?",3 3250,"Okay? We all did stupid stuff in our lives. For example, I remember once when I put the rocket in the bathroom and tried to put them to dry in the microwave.",3 3251,Put rockets in...,0 3252,"Thank you, Robin. You saved me an explanation and an excruciating public humiliation. Guys! Guys! Guess what Robin has done.",0 3253,"Wait, wait. You will inspect the place where now?",0 3254,"Burgers, burgers will be made.",1 3255,"Look, Barney, I support most all these jokes about me crying. And if I claim to prove it was you who was crying, that you would not be a problem?",4 3256,Of course.,0 3257,I see a complaint.,0 3258,Now my mother remarried. I... I'm exactly the same spot 5 years ago. I'm tired. I'm... I'm ready for life that goes with this house.,1 3259,"Ted, as you know, I've always been really, really addicted to your mother.",0 3260,I wanted to be your father!,0 3261,"Do not answer me, young man. That's why I cried at the song of Clint. Because that bastard stole your mother. And now all that remains for me... is the memory of the drop at the airport.",0 3262,And that's how you got the pin? Incredible. You... So... here we go.,0 3263,Is it true? Hmm. I can... Listen... Ted's mother. I... I should really...,0 3264,"Okay, this is a Mellencamp.",0 3265,"Guys, I'm in trouble. I mean, the best I can do is to improve the house and sell the property with great losses.",1 3266,It was our turn.,4 3267,"Hey, man.",3 3268,Robin told me. Happy Housewarming!,3 3269,No. I have a system. I put the empty brick in the fridge to remind us to buy milk.,4 3270,"The'm not, it's as if we had never been together.",4 3271,We missed the full board.,2 3272,"Wait, sorry. "It? "",1 3273,"Wait, wait. You think I'm gay? Why you would assume that?",1 3274,Sorry for not having told the truth from the beginning.,4 3275,Still not gay.,1 3276,It's great.,1 3277,"I do not know what it is, but I want to get Robin.",0 3278,Hanging out with Robin was a huge mistake.,0 3279,Get it?,1 3280,"Awesome. That way, each bed will have its uses.",3 3281,It's too easy.,0 3282,My chair!,0 3283,"Me too, man. More than you, certainly. Instance. Super spicy. I feel bad.",0 3284,This pepper is an ice cube in my mouth.,0 3285,I would love. If I move.,4 3286,Come on. Did you do stupid stuff to impress Robin.,0 3287,"Yes, but not anymore, because I turned the page. Just like you.",1 3288,"It's not for you! And it's not mine, either. It is... to Don.",1 3289,We all talk!,1 3290,Why?,2 3291,"Okay, wait. What do you say to that? It is being shared?I take up to 40 years and after you can have it.",0 3292,Who we laugh? It is with Don. We must accept it and move on.,1 3293,It's true. I'm going to leave before something regrettable.,0 3294,"It was good. Well, you gotta go.",3 3295,"I'm sorry. It was great and you're great. But, I must get up early, so...",3 3296,So what's going on with Robin?,0 3297,"You were right, she was just angry. It's been four days and not talk to relocate. We must never repeat this kind of shit.",1 3298,"Ps... The top was for Ted. He believed? Fine. Pull yourself together with Robin, but say nothing to Ted because he will still go wrong. And there are still drawings of breasts.",1 3299,Robin?!,1 3300,"Uh... Robin. I know... She lives with her boyfriend and she said not wanting to hang out with us, but it's Robots vs. Wrestlers. Robots vs.... Wrestlers!",0 3301,"You too. I gotta go. It is called? (She hangs up) Sorry, New York, I had to answer. Where were we? Bus accident.",4 3302,She said no? How could she? Robots vs. Wrestlers of our tradition is the largest group.,0 3303,"I was going to say "was found eaten by her cats," but it's not good either. Everybody leaves me, and I like it!",0 3304,Do not worry about a baby on our side. It is not yet started.,2 3305,Relax... It's for Marissa Heller.,1 3306,"Marissa Heller? She looks good. Face, breasts, describe. Begins with the breasts.",0 3307,It's about an open bar.,1 3308,"Guys, we get together. Lil, you can do... All you have to watch the guy in front, say your name is Marissa Heller, and it passes. And I repeat, to be sure, no accent.",0 3309,"I must make a confession. It is not on the list, but I always wanted to see the inside of Alberta.",1 3310,"We tried, it's been 20 minutes. We are going. Where is Ted?",2 3311,"My God, have you ever had the baby! It is just behind me, huh?",0 3312,I can not.,2 3313,"Citrus and honeycomb with a sharp acidity. This is a Sauvignon Blanc, Loire Valley. The town of Sancerre.",1 3314,I hope Ted is unhappy.,0 3315,"Of course, hell is an interesting concept, is not it? I always liked to imagine it as Dante's Divine Comedy. If I may. Italian original... (Thinking...) I do not believe it. I recite the Divine Comedy in Italian original, and nobody makes fart noises. It's weird. I've never gone that far. I just seem to be an assh*le. My God, I control myself! Listen to me, I am completely let go! I'm the biggest assh*le on the planet. I wish someone stops me.",1 3316,"Rule number 83. If something out of the baby ends up on my costume, I can touch the breasts of Lily.",0 3317,You're right. No need to rush.,3 3318,"Sorry, someone had to. I pay my tour.",4 3319,This is an access problem?,4 3320,Everyone has one. You should know the face.,4 3321,"I'll help you. (It helps a man to repair his bike) That should do it. Guys, not today. It would be... (He begins to dance)",3 3322,There is a street where it's normal. One clue: a giant yellow bird lives on.,0 3323,It does not b*at my pancakes. I'll make once. There are incredible.,1 3324,To be nice. It cost nothing.,3 3325,"That's what I meant. New York is not a small town, friendly, crime-free, inbred, in the woods, with cows lost in Minnesota, where you've grown.",4 3326,He gave them money?,4 3327,"What interest? He's from Minnesota. The mascot of his high school, it was a hug. Marshall is back with a beer while Ted joined them in turn.",2 3328,Interesting. We went to this new film The Future Bride.,1 3329,The Future Bride talking about you?,2 3330,"You sure it's you? When I saw The Wild History of space, I would have sworn...",3 3331,Tony Grafanello? This is...,4 3332,And romantic.,3 3333,And the hot date 2 minutes? When I condensed a romantic rendezvous in 2 minutes to go with the busy schedule of Stella?,1 3334,"Okay, he really said this time around.",1 3335,Why? So why should it?,1 3336,Because it is past the fifth most profitable films.,4 3337,"Yeah, that was good.",1 3338,"Bluntly. Well, technically, this is the correct pronunciation.",1 3339,"Bluntly! This guy's life was ruined by humiliation before the world. Too funny! It will take years before you can watch his family in front. It must be so traumatized that never again will he love or trust someone. It was insane! Get Moving, Adolf h*tler, a new king has arrived!",1 3340,"Sorry, Ted, you're screwed.",2 3341,You wanna go get that girl.,3 3342,Because she's nice.,3 3343,Royce!,1 3344,"I'm Jed Mosley. But Royce, missed it... in that cowboy boots red, it's not me.",1 3345,They are g*n in fact. I promised I'd make pancakes.And... I would keep that promise.,1 3346,Do I always appreciate... Would you like me to make pancakes?,1 3347,Kiss it! This film is embraced anyway.,0 3348,"Marshall. So, you're in the office? You're not, I do not know, driving a taxi, with a wig?",3 3349,"Yes, I'm in the office. This is the sound of my stapler.This is the sound of my trouilloteuse. And that, the sound of me, ranking the company's directive on sexual harassment. What's new? I gotta run, great leader.",0 3350,"I hasten to add. This is one of the moments you dream about. "Friends, Lily and I have unprotected relations. "I have chills.",3 3351,We're going to say anything.,2 3352,"You kiss? Go on, I'm not even there. But just like that, have a baby: big mistake. Now, show me.",0 3353,Bizarre. A Barney Brown.,4 3354,"I know. Say what you want about him, but Barney is better blonde.",2 3355,True. The blonde does not go to any guy.,4 3356,"This was where I was swimming teacher at Cascade Country Club of Grief, I washed the mop with lemon juice, playing with natural highlights. Let's just say that there were some old pretending to drown. Unfortunately, one has really drowned. In short, blonde suits me.",1 3357,I've tried drugs.,4 3358,What was that for?,4 3359,I see...,4 3360,"The executive producer of WNKW saw our show the other morning and I loved it. They offer me the position of presenter, starting next week.",4 3361,"Yes, I understand. My colleagues are oddly on the fact that I work. I know, I know.",0 3362,"It was a recording? You called me Big Chief, my nickname special job.",3 3363,Why it happens now? While all was well with Don. This is the never ending battle of my life: career vs. love.,4 3364,"It sounds logical. Sorry to not be able to help you more than that. In truth, I can not be objective about the fact you're gone.",1 3365,I thought the fastest way to circumnavigate the world in 180 days. Take a taxi and wait before the United Nations.,0 3366,It was the perfect plan. There's a detail I had not expected.,0 3367,The girls not want to enter a taxi driver. I worked hard on it.,0 3368,I think so. I must confess to Lily that the fifth lookalike is false.,3 3369,What's the problem?,0 3370,"I'm ready to be a father, you know? But Lily needs a sign of the universe. It could take years.",3 3371,"They told me, so I've prepared a few. I organize a "marriage". Tell me, Billy Idol, it's going to do? More on Billy Idol.If someone wants the real Slim Shady, it's there. This one was good. Robin, why do not you help me?",0 3372,It gets no compliments.,4 3373,The other thing.,1 3374,I know what's bothering you.,2 3375,Time out! This is a group decision! You can not go to Chicago before we are all agreed.,0 3376,It works!,1 3377,Wait a second. Candles... flowers... I guess that Marshall has "forgotten" to tell you. The fifth lookalike... it was me.,0 3378,The other thing.,1 3379,I can re-move? (Ted takes her in his arms. They sit on the couch) Is I'm the biggest idiot in the world?,4 3380,This guy looks like me...,0 3381,Guys... Play the game,3 3382,It's like looking in a mirror.,0 3383,Does that mean...?,3 3384,Nice! Where'd you get this?,1 3385,""Sun dress," by the way. Hey! What are you nervous about? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. What flowing cotton frock...",0 3386,Yeah.,1 3387,"Actually, Marshall would probably be...",1 3388,Fine. Have at it. Exercise your dibs. She's got her shields up anyway. She's reading a book.,1 3389,"Yeah. At a bar. That book might as well be called, "Are You There, Barney? It's Me, Horny." That is not what "shields up" looks like. (He points to Robin who is entering the bar, with greasy hair and dirty clothes) That is what "shields up" looks like.",0 3390,"You know what, Barney? Just cut her some slack, okay? She just went through a breakup.",1 3391,"Here, have some tea.",1 3392,This? What you're doing right now? I'm getting a "de-rection.",0 3393,Your dibs. I want to buy your dibs.,1 3394,No. (He takes $20 out of his wallet),1 3395,"Well, I guess you just got to move on. I mean, it's not like you have a sh*t with Ready McGee over there, right? Ted?",4 3396,"You're one of those? God, I swear, one in five guys...",4 3397,Who else did you tell? Did you tell anyone at the office?,2 3398,Hello.,2 3399,The man has no boundaries. And I just can't procreate under these conditions!,2 3400,"That's ridiculous. Lily, there is no way that I would ever... Okay, everyone needs to shut up so that I can think!",3 3401,"Okay, so you just want me to call my dad and tell him that we're not having a baby?",3 3402,Yeah. He and my mom are coming to live with us when the baby's born. We talked about this.,3 3403,"You know what, Marshall? Why don't you have a baby with your dad?",2 3404,"Oh, God, this sucks! Do you think she saw me?",1 3405,"Yeah, she definitely saw you.",0 3406,"Okay, will do. And dibs.",0 3407,"If I had my dad's number, I would never not be on the phone with him.",0 3408,"No. Lily, look. (looking at Robin standing at the bar) You saucy little minx. You sundressed up.",0 3409,"14 seconds! 14 seconds, and already some dingdong is stepping up, thinking he can get some of this broke off. I... still... got... it. All right, buddy, you proved my point. Now scram. Nice belt, by the way.",4 3410,Thanks.,4 3411,Totally.,1 3412,Marshall?,2 3413,"I'm sorry. Hold on. Just... It's my dad. Lily, it's my dad, okay? I love him, and if he calls me, I'm gonna answer the phone! Hey, Dad.",3 3414,"Dad, I'm in the middle of something right now.",3 3415,"You. You're like that. You and your dad both care so much. It's... it's why women fall in love with the Eriksen men to begin with. But right now, it's a lot of pressure.",2 3416,"Not even for one second. Not having a baby would suck, but the idea of you letting me down... that's impossible. That would be like aliens landing. That's a bad example, because that could happen. It probably already has. I saw this, episode... All right.",3 3417,I'm doing this. I am going over there. Wish me luck.,1 3418,"Okay, maybe I'm a little nervous.",1 3419,It will be.,3 3420,Yeah. You were saying?,1 3421,"I mean, everyone told us that it might take a while, but... We thought we might be the exception to the rule. Anyways, we're getting back on that horse. I mean, feeling good about the future. Obviously, this goes without saying, but you won't tell Lily about any of this, right?",3 3422,Did I ever! Deadliest Catch ever!,1 3423,What are you talking about? Your mother still lives in the house you grew up in.,3 3424,Pass.,4 3425,No one believes that story.,1 3426,How did he do that?,2 3427,"Whoa, Ted, that thing you're packing is way too big to fit in that box.",0 3428,How dare you!,0 3429,"No, she actually said that.",1 3430,Bro!,0 3431,How you doing?,1 3432,"Hey. It's true. Tell him, James.",0 3433,Yeah!,3 3434,"Santa's still a lie, and I'm not lying to our kids.",2 3435,Mom addressed this and never sent it.,0 3436,"Hey. (laughs) It's a picture of you and me when we were little kids. On the back, Mom wrote... "Your son."",0 3437,How?,1 3438,"I'll be honest. The first few times aren't going to be that great. He's going to say 'Are you finished?' more times than a waiter in a busy restaurant.",4 3439,"I suppose you have a problem with the Easter Bunny, too.",3 3440,"So we're doing this? We're really going to go disturb the peaceful Long Island retirement of the former mayor of Yourson, North Dakota on a Sunday afternoon? Real classy, James. Real classy.",0 3441,Why don't I just go to the Chevy Web site and copy down adjectives?,4 3442,"For what? I don't know who lives here, but it's not my dad. Wait. Wait. Please, stop. Just... just give me a second, okay?",0 3443,"God, this must be so hard for Barney.",2 3444,"Yeah, but you know what? He took a big step today...",3 3445,He's also quite the detective.,4 3446,What?,1 3447,"Man... I thought I was a light-skinned Caucasian, but in truth, I'm a really light-skinned African-American. Man, try to hail a cab in Manhattan. Am I right? Nope, no one's stopping for this. These guys don't understand what I'm talking about.",0 3448,I don't know. Got a burger coming.,1 3449,"Yeah, I'm not going to go through that again.",0 3450,"Good for you. Where's the poop, Robin?",2 3451,"I am gonna k*ll you. I'm gonna fly to Chicago, k*ll you, put your stupid face on a deep dish pizza and eat it. And then maybe catch a Bears game. But mostly the k*ll and eating your face thing.",4 3452,"Look, I didn't get sh*t down. Trust me, I'll get the yes. Barney Stinson always gets the yes. This is all part of the plan. After initial contact, I'm now in the ignoring phase.",0 3453,"Do you remember how awesome it was to be co-workers... Nay, bro-workers?",0 3454,"Ted Mosby, it's back on. We're gonna build your building.",0 3455,No? Are you kidding me?,4 3456,"I can't take the job, Barney. I'm done with that life. No hard feelings?",1 3457,All right.,1 3458,"So, you still think Ted's gonna take the job?",3 3459,"I tried to. But then this thing popped up on my phone that said, "Are you sure?" And I wasn't sure. I can't lie to my phone.",4 3460,"My "plezh." If you can find a number in there that I don't call regularly, I'll gladly delete it.",2 3461,Super Kicks Karate.,4 3462,"No, not that one. That's my dojo.",2 3463,But I'm totally gonna sign up for more lessons.,2 3464,I finally know what your kind goes through. I get it now.,1 3465,"No, he's been doing it to try to get Ted to design the new GNB Tower.",3 3466,He did.,1 3467,"It's nice to be wanted, okay? And, yes, this is a new vest. Thank you all for noticing. Oh, that's right, you didn't. Barney did!",1 3468,You guys played one gig four years ago. I'm deleting it.,4 3469,"No, no, we're gonna... we're gonna play another gig again. Probably really soon. It's just we all got super busy, and... We're not going to play another gig again, are we?",3 3470,"It's not a move, dude. I executed the paperwork for the new architect this morning. Barney wasn't lying.",3 3471,I didn't! I don't! I don't. I don't!,1 3472,"Okay, it's a move.",3 3473,"There is no other architect. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I lied. I was being Barney's wingman, and I never get to be the wingman.",3 3474,236.,0 3475,"No... Ted... you want to do this, okay? You're just scared of getting hurt again. But you can't let fear steal your funk. That is good. There is a song in there. Excuse me.",3 3476,"Where's the poop, Robin?",2 3477,Fine. I called Don again.,4 3478,"Yeah, Ted. Why aren't you in class? You son of a bitch. I'll call Marshall. We'll draw up the contract.",0 3479,Who is this?,4 3480,"I'm sorry. Is this 917-456... I'm sorry, 465... No, wait.",4 3481,"I don't know, it could be cool. I've never seen Woody Allen.",4 3482,That's adorable. You're from Canada.,1 3483,I have been here for almost six years. It's not like I just got off a boat.,4 3484,I'd say you're not a real New Yorker until you've stolen a cab from someone who needs it more than you do.,1 3485,"Those rules are all stupid, okay? I've never done any of those things.",4 3486,"A real New Yorker would know the subway's faster. You just take the one, and transfer to the two-three.",2 3487,"You're all wrong... I got a way to get there so fast, I could b*at all of you, even if I sat down and ordered a big, juicy steak first.",0 3488,"Ooh, taxi!",4 3489,That's the gray one. Did you know that in 18...,1 3490,"Excuse me, I've got a thing.",4 3491,Hi.,4 3492,"Well, you're in luck. See that gothic church over there? Those corinthian columns were designed by Giuseppe Pegatto in 1896. (the woman stands up to find another place)",1 3493,"So, is this ride your way of apologizing for this morning?",4 3494,I'm sorry. I never apologize. And why would I?,0 3495,"Robin, I had no idea.",0 3496,Whoa! This is crazy.,3 3497,I can't believe it.,4 3498,Hey! Lily.,4 3499,The machines have won! he machines have won.,3 3500,64. But whatever.,1 3501,"And you're designing a frickin' building. I mean, come on, dude.",3 3502,"Marshall! Marshall, get in!",2 3503,There it is.,1 3504,Where are Marshall and lily?,4 3505,I won? I won!,4 3506,I can't believe I won!,4 3507,I'm not gonna... Not gonna...,1 3508,Sure. What's up?,0 3509,Traction?,2 3510,"As you know, Papa likes to get down with enthusiasm.",3 3511,"And without traction, Papa's likely to boogie himself right out of bed. It's either these or soccer cleats.",3 3512,"Oh, the small penis thing?",2 3513,You're kidding me.,0 3514,Snakes.,0 3515,Mm-hmm? And this theory applies to everything?,1 3516,Everything.,0 3517,Yeah. The first three barely mention the intricacies of intergalactic trade law.,0 3518,Wendy! I'd like to buy my friend a drink. What's your oldest Scotch?,1 3519,How can you speak of such things?,0 3520,"Size, shape, left or right leaning orientation...",2 3521,How can you speak of such things?,0 3522,Impossible. Max's penis is stuck in my brain like a splinter. Like a splinter-sized splinter.,3 3523,We wound up talking for hours.,1 3524,You can shoplift and pretend you're just confused.,1 3525,"Well, I'd say you got a pretty long wait.",1 3526,Whoa! Sweet wrestling name alert.,3 3527,And you're welcome.,3 3528,"The point is, you weren't pretending to like the Indigo Girls for the other person. You realized you liked them because of the other person. Just like me, Zoey and The Arcadian. Did GNB really put snakes in The Arcadian?",1 3529,I don't recall saying "eggs.",0 3530,"Yeah, but, uh, you know what they say. The important thing is-is how you use it, you know? "The motion of the ocean." That whole thing.",3 3531,"He said it's small, Marshall, and everybody's fine with that. Let's just move on.",4 3532,Zoey... I'm Batman. Hmm. That'd be cool.,1 3533,"Well, spare no expense, buddy. Dinner is on me, and-and get dessert. Maybe this molten chocolate lava cake? I just want you to be happy.",3 3534,It's your fault! You ladies and your salty sailor talk!,3 3535,It's just a bunch of uncomfortable dudes trying to get out of there as quickly as possible. And one old guy just letting it all hang out.,3 3536,"Oh, nothing. We don't talk about you!",2 3537,You just broke in and stole these guys? Aren't you worried about getting arrested?,1 3538,"Ted, that is never gonna happen.",0 3539,"Well, I can't tear down The Arcadian. I'm sorry, but I'm off the project.",1 3540,"Okay, are there or aren't there snakes?!",1 3541,Who mentioned snakes?! And stop shouting! You're scaring Cottontail.,0 3542,So you're back in?,0 3543,"Oh, of course, because what woman doesn't like being slobbered on while some giant paws at her nether regions like Lenny from Of Mice and Men?",4 3544,I don't recall saying snakes.,1 3545,"So, have you guys landed on a name yet?",3 3546,Lisa.,2 3547,"Well, I mean, geez, Lily.",3 3548,"I watched. Robin insisted I confirm how "awful" Becky is, so last night I checked it out.",1 3549,"Becky, we're-we're journalists. We can't get emotional about the news, we...",4 3550,"Well, if you read the story, we might find out.",4 3551,"You, too? Can somebody please explain to me why the little girl act works on men?",4 3552,You want the long version or the short version?,0 3553,"No, she is not my daughter. I'm just her daddy.",3 3554,"Exactly. And it's not like the opposite would work. There's no way a guy could pick up a girl, going around talking like a little boy.",4 3555,"I, Barney Stinson, will pick up a girl whilst talking like a little boy.",0 3556,Oh.,3 3557,Then what does she do? Sweet mother nature!,3 3558,Not "Esther." I need a drink. Ted? Ted?,3 3559,"Marshall, your list is entirely boy names. You do realize there's roughly a 50% chance of you having a daughter, right?",1 3560,"It's not what it sounds like, folks.",1 3561,"Okay... No offense, Dad, but I doubt there's any scientific data to support--",3 3562,"Hey, Becky, Becky, this is our news segment, okay? Nobody cares what you did yesterday.",4 3563,Aww...,1 3564,"Let me guess: she acted like a helpless little girl, and you stepped in as the big, strong man.",4 3565,"It's okay, little darlin'.",1 3566,"(scoffing) Yeah, I slept.",1 3567,Challenge accept...,0 3568,"For your information, Becky doesn't like steak, she likes pasghetti. Spaghetti. And more importantly, she makes me feel needed.",1 3569,"Hey, it's nice to feel needed. And you know what? It's not a feeling guys get when they're with you.",1 3570,"When we were dating, I... I didn't make you feel needed?",4 3571,Thanks.,1 3572,(goofy voice) Let's make a baby!,3 3573,"Oh, really. Well, then how come whenever there's a creepy kid in a horror movie it's always a little girl? Or twin girls, who speak... (eerily): in unison.",3 3574,Esther? That's beautiful.,3 3575,"Baby, names and gender, it's just, like... it's some way of giving ourselves the illusion that we have any control whatsoever. I- I just want a healthy, happy, 12-pound--",3 3576,Whoa.,2 3577,"You know what? We should just think of a name that's good for either a girl or a boy. Like, um...",3 3578,"Nah, I got a thing. But you kids have fun trick or treating. This is a treat.",1 3579,Robin has another party to go to.,2 3580,But she might stop by later.,2 3581,Please tell me you're not hooking up with one of your co-anchors again.,1 3582,"Architecturally significant?! Zoey, you're very pretty. Your hair smells great.",1 3583,I care about our precious Earth.,0 3584,Everyone is in this video. Randy's in the video.,0 3585,I'll say this: There is no quit in that guy. You should fire him.,0 3586,"Okay, that, that right there. That attitude is exactly why I won't be in your video. Because GNB doesn't care. They hand out pink slips like they're hors d'oevres. Just last week, I was talking to Arthur...",3 3587,"Aha, it's someone we know. If it was some ding dong we didn't know, you'd just give me his name.",2 3588,I lost them.,1 3589,We're familiar with it.,1 3590,Shuts them right up.,2 3591,You slept with Randy!,2 3592,"Your co-host is getting super-popular because of her stupid commercial, "Boats! Boats! Boats!" So, when you arrived at the GNB party after we left, you were feeling vulnerable and drunk. Then, from across the not-so-crowded conference room, your eyes met. And as we all remember... Randy has a unique condition.",2 3593,That's...exactly what happened.,4 3594,Thank you. So where you headed now?,3 3595,"Guys, Prof Rock is a really good mix, okay?",1 3596,This just isn't working out.,3 3597,"I got you your job back, Randy. I thought that you'd be happy.",3 3598,"Well, then quit. No one's stopping you.",3 3599,What are you doing?,3 3600,"No, it's actually, um, nice having some of this clutter off my desk. So thank you, Randy.",3 3601,It didn't work. They hate me. How do I get them to like me again?,1 3602,"...are dorks. Except for you, Miles. Ted, you just have to learn to embrace their hatred. Because behind that hatred lies fear. And you can use use that fear, like I did with Johnny Marley.",2 3603,Yeah.,2 3604,"Fine. I didn't sleep with anyone. The thing is, ever since Becky did that commercial, everyone at work loves her. So, the day after Halloween, I was in a commercial.",4 3605,You think working here is my dream?,3 3606,I care about making dreams come true. You got what you need?,3 3607,"Ah, bully!",0 3608,They'd pelt us with their Phish bootlegs.,1 3609,"Ooh! I love this exhibit. One time when I was a kid, this room was closed for cleaning, so I snuck under the rope.",2 3610,"Okay, the giant blue whale hanging from the ceiling?",3 3611,Not bad.,4 3612,Challenge accepted.,0 3613,I think I'm going to say yes.,3 3614,Impressive. Try this on for size.,0 3615,Get... your other hand... off my ass.,4 3616,"Yeah, old stuff's great.",1 3617,"Mmm. Ah, this Scotch is good. How's your drink?",4 3618,"Yeah, I do.",4 3619,"The boat? There's a boat? You must tell me about this boat, Captain.",1 3620,She!,1 3621,"Man, I wish me and my dad were as close as you guys are.",1 3622,What would College You say if he heard what you were saying right now?,2 3623,Yepskerdoodles.,3 3624,Lawyered.,3 3625,"Okay. Lily, what do you want from me? I want you to be the person I fell in love with.",3 3626,Niled it.,0 3627,You tricked me.,1 3628,She caught me on tape trashing GNB.,1 3629,Really? You'd do that to your own wife?,1 3630,Jerry's my uncle.,0 3631,No.,2 3632,"Look, Lily, I know that you would have been okay if we were poor and I was trying to save the world, but will you still be okay if I make a lot of money and I spend all of it spoiling you and our kids?",3 3633,So when was the last time you saw him?,4 3634,"Well, maybe the security guy had it wrong. You never know...",4 3635,Do you know what plays a huge role in helping a woman conceive? Cervical mucus.,2 3636,"Oh, my God, I can't wait to see this movie. I hear it's really scary.",4 3637,Look at this crib.,2 3638,I know. Isn't it?,0 3639,Along with 50 other clowns. It's a clown car. Oh.,3 3640,"Yeah, on the bright side, I guess suits are pretty boring without them, so...",4 3641,"What, are we gonna duel?",4 3642,"Oh, you haven't watched it yet?",3 3643,"No, of course not. I wanted my first time to be with someone I cared about.",0 3644,"Yeah, I figured I should get one now because once I get pregnant, no more massages. Just so annoying.",2 3645,"Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a big old bowl of pornflakes. Whoa! And who is this exquisite keytarist I assum you're about to make sweet love to?",0 3646,"Oh, that's Jessica Glitter. She was my BFF on the show and in real life.",4 3647,"Oh, two average Canadian teenagers who solve crimes in space using math.",4 3648,"I don't know. I think he did a pretty good job, considering he was probably only using one hand.",3 3649,"I'm sorry. We got to ration this. It's like we're on a desert island, and this video is a really hot, naked chick, and she's got, like, seaweed on her and a seashell bra. You all feel me?",0 3650,"Four years, three months.",2 3651,Sure.,1 3652,He's been stuck in Cleveland his whole life.,1 3653,"Oh, a Korean massage.",4 3654,"Guys, did you see that? She's going to a Korean massage without me. That's our thing. I'm telling you, she's gonna dump me, just like she dumped Glitter.",2 3655,Crib...,2 3656,What?,4 3657,"It means that a fertilized egg has not yet attached itself to the lining of your uterine wall. You see? I read your Facebook updates. God, it's like it's all you ever talk about, Lily, and I'm sick of it!",4 3658,Great.,4 3659,Okay.,2 3660,"Okay. Maybe just one cuddle, but then that is it.",3 3661,"Yeah, he's gotta go.",1 3662,Wow. You dumped her just because you had a baby? That's cold.,2 3663,"Oh, God. I gotta go. I gotta go apologize to Robin. I- I need to tell her I love her, and that she'll always be a priority.",2 3664,"Whoa. Look, I hate most babies. But your baby? I'm gonna love that kid so much. I'm gonna pick it up and everything.",4 3665,I'm so happy you guys made up.,3 3666,"Me, too.",1 3667,"Yeah. You don't want to bail early, man. You could become The Blitz.",3 3668,"You know what? Ted, go ahead-- leave early to do something lame. Just don't blame us if you become... The Blitz.",3 3669,"Oh, my God... That's Zoey! That's Ted's enemy. Which means she's our enemy. Let's take this bitch down.",2 3670,"Barney, I know that Ted doesn't like that girl, but that's a little extreme.",3 3671,"Okay. Wh...? Well, I got it. You see that silk scarf? I'm going to steal it.",2 3672,"Yeah. Yeah! My name is Lily Aldrin. I'm a friend of Ted Mosby's, so you better...",2 3673,(gasps) That was you?!,2 3674,"And then, the craziest thing happened.",2 3675,"I'm afraid you are, Ted. You see, when you left last night, you changed the course of Blitztory.",3 3676,The oven.,4 3677,"But if it helps, I reached 4G.",2 3678,It doesn't help. 4G? No. What-What are we supposed to do now?,1 3679,"And here's the twist, Babaka. Because Ted left early, he's now The Blitz.",0 3680,No. I c... Because... Step on it.,0 3681,No. I'm not The Blitz. I'm The Bueller. You know what this means. You're The Blitz.,1 3682,"Oh, what was that? I was distracted by the four-caret diamond your 53-year-old husband bought you.",1 3683,No... I baste alone.,1 3684,Are you happy? You're ruining Thanksgiving.,1 3685,"Ted, give her a chance.",2 3686,Enemies can't become friends.,1 3687,"Just stop it! God, can't you two just stop fighting for one day? Like, when the Roadrunner and the Coyote clocked out and had a beer together? Or-Or-Or Tom and Jerry shared a cup of coffee.",2 3688,I don't get it. Why'd she just kick us out like that?,2 3689,Barney let us in.,1 3690,"I get that. Uh, you should hang on to this. You can give it to her next year.",1 3691,"Ooh. Oh. Great idea. All right. Okay. Here we go. One, two, three.",3 3692,I figured it out! I know what's so creepy about The Captain.,3 3693,"Captain, what do you think of rainy days?",0 3694,Don't use the husband's condoms. That's just rude.,0 3695,No lying to the spouse about anything you do.,2 3696,"Lily's right, Ted. Once you're married, it's very hard to be friends with a single person of the opposite sex.",3 3697,"Yeah. Unless you're old friends, which is why I can hang out with Marshall whenever I want. Right, Marsh Madness?",4 3698,"Well, Lily, you were right. Something weird happened with Zoey last night.",1 3699,"It's not okay! I didn't really think it was okay! Pur-leez! You lie to your husband all the time. "Uh, uh, that shirt looks great on you""I love your mom""I never fantasize about Barney when we're doing it"" Sound familiar, Pinocchio?",2 3700,They are fun.,4 3701,Lots of drinks.,3 3702,"Save it, Lily. I am still mad at you for... something, and for that other thing.",0 3703,And that's why we never hang out alone? Yes.,4 3704,What were those sailors thinking?,4 3705,Huh. I don't know. Being out at sea can do crazy things to a man.,3 3706,Nah. Watch out!,0 3707,Head?,1 3708,"Yes. I mean, sure, right now, you're bald and leathery ancovered in a thick layer of blubber...",3 3709,What's that?,2 3710,Breast-feeding. Hot.,0 3711,Really. When those things swell up to three times their normal size... so do I.,0 3712,"Okay, now we're even!",1 3713,"Uh-oh. I don't feel so good. (She vomits) Oh, my God! Oh, my God, I am, I am so sorry! Oh! You must think I'm totally disgusting.",4 3714,No.,1 3715,What?!,4 3716,It's gonna be a magical day. (Ted hangs up) I know what you're thinking. I wish I was a dude.,1 3717,"No, and here's why.,Ted, the best man's job is not to crush the floral arrangements. It's to get the groom down the aisle, because, no matter who he is, he will freak out. And I just don't think you have what it takes to get that get that soldier to pick up his r*fle and charge up the hill.",4 3718,And how did that go again? Oh for one.,4 3719,Why this sudden obsession with Heads or Tails?,1 3720,You mean coin flip bimbo?,1 3721,"Well, it's a national audience! I get to wear shiny dresses!",4 3722,"Before that, too.",1 3723,I thought you finally got that interview at World Wide News.,1 3724,Which could be a stepping stone to bigger things in your career.,1 3725,What?!,4 3726,"Well, you are looking at the new associate researcher at World Wide News.",4 3727,"Well, thank you. I mean, we've never been happier.",3 3728,"Okay, I also said I would never make out with a garbage man. Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. What's with the gingerbread house?",4 3729,Huh. Marshall and Lily are doing something meaningful. And it's making me less happy about this bonus. And I'm still single. At least I got that going for me. So why do I still feel outside of awesome looking in? What am I doing with my life?,0 3730,we've never been happier. can't imagine bringing e down right now.,3 3731,"Barney's Favorite Things! I'm gonna give you all a bunch of free stuff... like Oprah. Just get excited, okay?",0 3732,"Remote control helicopters! Condoms! And last but not least... There is a fleet of limos outside waiting to take us to... A strip club! (Applause, cheering) You get a lap dance! You get a lap dance! You're gonna give me a lap dance! Everybody gets a lap dance! That was amazing! It was like a diamond suit for my soul. I gotta keep going. I gotta do more.",0 3733,"No, I don't mean that charity. That charity is doing peachy. You'll see pics of the two of them in next week's e-mail.",0 3734,"Yeah, that was back when Lily was pregnant. Now she's not. Ergo, a suit is born. (Chuckles) Dude, what's up with the gingerbread house? You look ridiculous!",0 3735,What?!,4 3736,"What?! I've never seen that woman before in my life! Sorry, force of habit. Congratulations!",0 3737,Blue? What if it's a girl?,2 3738,"No, I can't keep it together!",2 3739,I have never seen you guys looking so at peace. To Lily and Marshall.,4 3740,This is a nightmare! We've done everything wrong!,3 3741,"I know. Okay? I don't like it either. It's like I have a hot, burning ball of stress in my chest, and nothing will make it go away!",3 3742,Yeah. Huge bummer.,3 3743,"Oh, yeah, whatever. Oh, Christmas-themed movie snack. Nice.",3 3744,Get a puppy!,0 3745,You sure?,3 3746,Positive.,2 3747,It's what I do.,1 3748,"Big mistake, but go on.",1 3749,"Oh, God, you found one of the cameras. I swear that's the only one. Wait, which one did you find?",0 3750,"Just one, "Dr. Stangel". Where'd you get the beard?",2 3751,"Lily, I've been with Barney since 9:00 a.m. Between the sexual harassment seminar all morning and the secretary beauty pageant all afternoon, he hasn't left my sight.",3 3752,"Uh, Marshall?",2 3753,"Yes, I know, we made our little deal with the universe, but...",3 3754,"No, we've made a binding covenant with the universe. We said we weren't going to try to have kids until we saw Barney's doppelganger. Oh, this is bad news. This is like a black cat walked through my uterus. Okay, that's it. I am going back to Dr. Stangel and getting thoroughly checked out.",2 3755,So my wife and I are trying to get pregnant.,3 3756,He could have pulled some crazy switch. Remember when his Swedish cousin came to visit?,2 3757,Thank you.,2 3758,Can we leave him in here for a while?,2 3759,"Aw, yeah. Smile for the birdie, Lil! Gyno-mite!",0 3760,"Hi, guys.",4 3761,It gets worse.,4 3762,You had sex with Sandy Rivers?,1 3763,"Well, now that I know it's Sandy, I'm not.",4 3764,"Hey, babe.",3 3765,"Hi, honey. There's a couple messages on the machine. Your dad called. He wants to know if you have any sixes.",2 3766,"Yeah, uh, we got a game of "Go Fish" going on the phone. P.S., Pops, go fish. Who's the second message from?",3 3767,"Okay, now you're being ridiculous. An hour ago, you didn't even think there was a problem.",2 3768,"So, second day of work?",1 3769,"No, no, you know what? Um, I'm gonna get my stuff checked out first. I'll call my dad after Dr. Stangel gives me the thumbs up.",3 3770,He has to do that?,1 3771,I'm getting married!,3 3772,"Okay, yes, I, uh, I fell into some manure. It's hilarious, fine. In a five-year career of on-air reports, there are bound to be a few embarrassing moments.",4 3773,Everything.,4 3774,"*Everybody, come and play*... I'm a dirty, dirty girl... *Throw every last care away; Let's go to the mall today; Today, today*... The Federal Reserve Board voted to leave interest... * Let's go to the mall; Today; Let's go to the ma-a-all; Let's got to the mall today; Let's go to the ma-a-all; Today; Let's go to the mall; Today; Let's go to the ma-a-all; Today... ; Let's go to the mall... *",4 3775,You got attacked by an owl?,1 3776,"Robin, listen, here's what you need to do...",1 3777,"Go fish. Excuse me. Hey, Lily, can I just talk to you in here for a minute?",3 3778,Sorry. You said "who". It reminded me of the owl footage. Genius. No. Sandy. How dare he laugh at you. Who does he think... Sorry. "Who". Anyway. I looked up his address in your contact list.,1 3779,I just thought he needed to listen to common sense and reasonable discourse.,1 3780,"Oh, God. Tell me those aren't the names of your fists.",4 3781,"This is how you make sure Sandy never makes fun of you again. I told you to steer into the skid. That was bad advice. So new advice. Steer into Sandy, and run him down.",1 3782,This isn't working.,3 3783,Lily!,3 3784,"Actually, Sandy, I have something I think you're all gonna want to see.",4 3785,"Exactly. So, instead of taking your advice, I took your advice.",4 3786,It's just...,3 3787,"Hey, um, can I borrow your phone? I want to call my dad.",3 3788,"Yeah, go ahead.",1 3789,"You're here! Oh, my God! I love you so much! Can you believe it?",3 3790,My dad's dead? I'm not ready for this.,3 3791,"Don't look at me. This morning Marshall said, "I have to pee." And I, "Don't worry, baby, I'll do it for you." Halfway through the pee, I'm, like, "This doesn't even make sense!"",2 3792,Outlet or USB?,4 3793,"Wow, you really do have everything in there, don't you?",2 3794,""If"? Ted, the kids in that movie jumped into a painting and spent 15 minutes chasing a cartoon fox. "Spoonful of sugar..."? Grow up.",4 3795,"Guys... Trey Platt terrorized me growing up. He was, he was the toughest bully in school.",3 3796,"Hello, Trey. Long time. Mm-hmm. I was not aware that you had become a reverend.",3 3797,"Marshall Eriksen, you could use a laugh.",0 3798,"...right in the nuts,",1 3799,Trey Platt. I can't believe my father's funeral service is being led by Trey "The Noogie Machine" Platt.,3 3800,He made me carry it.,3 3801,Dad...,3 3802,"Bye, Mom.",3 3803,I've been known to locate certain objects from time to time.,4 3804,Listen!,2 3805,"Judy's finally sleeping and it's all because of me! Guys, I have a role: I'm Judy's bitch! Yeah!",2 3806,It doesn't. That's true.,0 3807,Hello.,2 3808,"Lawyered. Now can we all just admit that last words are, in fact, a big deal?",3 3809,"Barney, please, Barney! It's... No more videos, okay? I just need a minute.",3 3810,And here's your phone number back.,0 3811,"That salad's the first food she's eaten in two days. Sure, it's mostly cheese, mayonnaise and jelly beans, but it counts.",2 3812,Stupid.,1 3813,What we need to do is hit each other in the nuts.,0 3814,"You're up next, baby.",2 3815,For what?,2 3816,Any time.,2 3817,"Oh, man. I should have rented Crocodile Dundee III.",3 3818,"Thanks. I'll be right back. And if I don't come back, well, then these are my last words to you all. I really, really, really love you guys. Now I'm going to go drop a deuce.",3 3819,"She is a lovely person... warm, intelligent, just kind of gullible. It's like, every word out of her mouth makes you want to be like, "Oh, honey."",4 3820,"Ted, a word. God, I hate these situations. What are we gonna do about this?",0 3821,What are you talking about?,1 3822,What?,1 3823,"Yeah, actually, there's another reason that I didn't go home with her.",1 3824,"Mom, hang up!",3 3825,"Oh, my God.",3 3826,I did. It's for me. This is about the coffee breath.,1 3827,"Remember the ketchup bottle? She wasn't the one who dropped it. When she reached for it, our fingers touched, and...(glass shatters) I knew, right in that moment, this isn't friendship. This is love.",1 3828,Isn't that a little harsh?,4 3829,"Hey, Marshall.",0 3830,"Dude, she doesn't know how to tell a story. I'll tell you that story.",0 3831,Uh... Robin's version was...,3 3832,"Yeah, we had a great time last night. And then just hand stuff in the morning, so...",0 3833,"Nope, he let me have her. I have to say, it was pretty noble of him. He fell on his sword so that she could fall on mine. I won't bore you with the details, but to summarize... (imitating squeaky bedsprings)",0 3834,Marcus!,3 3835,"Yeah, yeah. I need to tell you something about Zoey, too.",1 3836,"Marcus, hang up! Both of you, hang up! And we need ice cream. Go on.",3 3837,"Oh, he... Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay, well, I- I guess there's no use hiding it anymore. I- I hate you. Bitch.",2 3838,I don't know.,2 3839,"Oh, well, I'll let you take that. Love you, baby!",2 3840,You just went through a tragedy. It's not like she's gonna call you up and...,4 3841,"Oh, God, that's my other line. Oh, God, it's a 917 number, and I don't recognize it! I think it's Zoey!",3 3842,Just don't answer it.,4 3843,I can't turn my back on politeness.,3 3844,"I'm sorry, Robin! Eriksen residence. Marshall speaking.",3 3845,Four. Four Nobel Prizes.,0 3846,I told you. Lily hates you.,1 3847,Why was Marshall calling?,1 3848,You're a show-off.,1 3849,I just mean... I'm okay taking this slow. I want to do this right.,1 3850,"Hey, I'm trying. I keep suggesting these big, romantic dates, and she keeps putting on the brakes. Like tonight, she wants me to just come over and bake cookies.",1 3851,Oh. Translation: booty-call.,4 3852,"Are you kidding? You're in the kitchen, it's getting hot, you start licking stuff off each others' fingers. Before you know it, she's bent over the marble island, and you're spanking her with a rubber spatula. And she's screaming, "Stop, Marshall, stop," but that's just code for "harder!"",2 3853,"Marshall's been in Minnesota a while, huh?",1 3854,"You know, I saw this in the theater, like, five times, but I never got to see it with the right girl.",3 3855,What girls?,3 3856,"Shh. Daddy's talking now. Loneliness. The looming specter of Valentine's Day fast approaching. The two key ingredients to my favorite day of the year, February 13: Desperation Day.",0 3857,"It's a thing. Much like Valentine's Day itself, Desperation Day dates back thousands of years. Weddings were forbidden under ancient Roman law, so Saint Valentine performed them in secret, under threat of death.",0 3858,Please say "widows.",4 3859,"Barney, Desperation Day assumes that all single women freak out about Valentine's Day. Which we do not. Case in point, I will be spending February 13 with some lovely single ladies from work...",4 3860,...who could care less about Valentine's Day.,4 3861,And none was taken until just then.,1 3862,"You losing your mind, being alone in your apartment?",0 3863,Hey. How was "baking cookies" last night?,4 3864,"How are you holding up, Judy?",2 3865,"My mom loves to feel needed. Letting her take care of me is how I'm taking care of her. She's in a dark place, Lily. She needs this. Mom? You forgot my chocolate milk with the swirly straw!",3 3866,"Look, she just got out of a marriage, Ted. That's heavy. I'm kind of freaking out, just listening to you. My heart is pounding, I'm hearing this weird clicking noise.",4 3867,"Barney, this is Bev and Anna, uh, my coworkers and my friends. Bev, Anna, this is Barney, a high-functioning sociopath and my ex.",4 3868,Please! You might as well be dog-earing a tear-stained bridal magazine while wolfing down the box of chocolates you had delivered to yourself at work from your "fiancé" who no one's ever met.,0 3869,"Okay, when your "fiancé" Gerard comes back from fixing cleft palates in Peru, maybe snatch a photo of the two of you together, and then I'll totally believe you.",0 3870,"Hey. Hey, Nora. Uh, Nora, this is Barney. You want to see Anna b*at him in an arm wrestle?",4 3871,While I'm sure it's been really helpful for her to have you here playing Super Mario Kart for 14 hours a day...,2 3872,"Hell, yeah.",3 3873,"Baby, don't go.",3 3874,Please come home soon.,2 3875,Why aren't you wearing purple like your friends?,0 3876,What's that?,0 3877,"Well, I mean, technically, she doesn't know yet.",1 3878,"Oh, yeah. Change of plans. Happy Valentine's Day.",4 3879,"Baby, you're back.",2 3880,"Happy Valentine's Day, Lily Pad. Oh.",3 3881,We both knew this would end eventually.,2 3882,Wendy the Waitress! I was just saying-- what are you doing here?,1 3883,Absolutely.,0 3884,"She didn't want to get drinks. And as soon as a girl says she doesn't want to get drinks, well...",0 3885,"Please, Cheese. You like this girl.",4 3886,"Barney, you can't say her name without smiling.",4 3887,"If it's really important to you, I will pick it up tomorrow.",1 3888,"Yeah, he's been really... quiet.",2 3889,"No, it's more than that. It's like, all the stuff he used to love, he suddenly has no interest in anymore.",2 3890,I tried. They're pretty strict with backgrounds.,0 3891,"Anyway, we should get going.",1 3892,"This is about Nora. You met a girl, you liked her, but then you missed your sh*t. And now you're trying to hook up with your ex-girlfriend to prove to yourself that you don't care.",4 3893,Maybe after this documentary on garbage.,3 3894,"Guys, I got a problem. I ran into The Captain.",1 3895,Wow.,1 3896,Yes! Limit the search to guys with mustaches. Smart.,1 3897,That's damn good brandy.,1 3898,Damn it! The box!,1 3899,"Baby, baby, I really got to work on this presentation.",3 3900,"Oh, that's too bad, 'cause I was going to make a little presentation of my own.",2 3901,"No, I'm not. I'm Barney Stinson. I don't get smitten, I smite!",0 3902,"You are totally smitten, but you're scared of being in a relationship.",4 3903,"Oh, no, baby, come on. Today didn't go so well.",3 3904,"Well, because we can always do more.",3 3905,That son of a bitch! You think Zoey's sleeping with the doorman?,1 3906,"Look, look, yes, yes, the doorman is a scoundrel. The mustache alone gives that away. He's a rake, a rogue, a rapscallion!",1 3907,I hope this doesn't make me look desperate.,2 3908,"The number. Give me the number, 'cause I really can't tell... Is that a seven or a nine?",0 3909,"Moon man language"? What does that even mean?,4 3910,"Listen, Zoey, I need to ask you something. Did I steal you?",1 3911,What do you mean?,2 3912,Are you avoiding sleeping with me 'cause you don't want to start a family?,2 3913,"Okay, well, have a safe trip. It was great seeing you. (Ted phones Marshall) Hello. Marshall.",1 3914,"Actually, I'm thinking about getting a dog again.",4 3915,"Oh, Barney's got feeling for a girl.",2 3916,Then why are you going out with Nora again?,2 3917,"And she is indeed hot. Which is why nothing, not even God himself... yeah, I said it, Beardy... is going to stand in the way of tonight being legend... Wait for it. (He sneezes)",0 3918,"Hey, Nora, sorry I'm late. I'm just, uh, just getting over a cold.",0 3919,Handsome? Rich? Well-endowed?,0 3920,The bed... that's where all the...happens.,0 3921,Ah. Thank you.,0 3922,"Oh, Robin, if you weren't so much stronger than me, I would slap you.",3 3923,"Aw, and you want me to go with you 'cause you're a little scared?",2 3924,No.,0 3925,"Twen... Flag on the play, Doc. I have a date tonight.",0 3926,"Go on, Doctor.",0 3927,"Well, for what it's worth, I'm not easily shocked. Unless you dump water on me, 'cause I'll just... No. What is it?",0 3928,"Okay, but you have to admit that he is a lot of fun.",4 3929,And what is he?,4 3930,He's a dog.,3 3931,He's totally a dog.,1 3932,What? You saw him hitting on someone?,4 3933,"Okay, Scooby, you ready?",3 3934,That last one did not happen.,4 3935,"Robin, it's fine. You said you wanted a dog and you got one. And the best part is, he got his shots.",1 3936,Nice job fetching those.,1 3937,"No, no, you're right, Robin. We don't want your new guy to "flea."",3 3938,What part of Canada is that? Speak.,3 3939,"Yeah, with ivy growing on it.",0 3940,"Barney, you promised you wouldn't lie.",2 3941,"Barney, you can't blackmail us into lying to Nora.",2 3942,Robin.,0 3943,"Don't say the Mr. T dream, don't say the Mr. T dream, don't say the Mr. T dream...",4 3944,The Mr. T dream...,0 3945,I suppose it's possible Barney has real feelings for Nora.,1 3946,I do! So be cool!,0 3947,Nope. Not even once.,1 3948,"Okay, I think that we're done here, I think that we have adequately established that Barney is... the kind of guy that you would bring home to meet your parents. Okay? So... let's just drop it, all right?",3 3949,Not even if her mom's hot.,0 3950,"No, Scooby, you, uh... stay!",0 3951,Sandwich brownies?,1 3952,Truth. Hey. I have a question.,1 3953,Yeah?,3 3954,Dude. Listen to me. You have nothing to be ashamed of. That calzone sounds amazing.,1 3955,"Oh, my God! I found Scooby's wallet.",2 3956,Me neither. He must've figured out how to open it himself.,2 3957,"Hey, have you seen Scooby?",4 3958,"Your heart's talking to you, Barney. Do you have the guts to listen to it.",2 3959,I lied.,0 3960,"So am I. This, all of this, this is totally new to me, but I know it's what I want. I want to be confused. With you.",0 3961,"Ted. This is your seduction lounge. Sex swing there, vibrating Jell-O pit right there, rotating Vietnamese Shame Wheel right here. Don't ask; you're not ready. And that basketball hoop? Outdoor stripper pole. We'll just tell the ladies to be careful in the winter. You think a tongue stuck to a frozen pole is bad...",0 3962,"Barney, I can't believe your giant TV is broken. It's March Madness.",3 3963,"Sure thing. Luis. Barney Stinson, 12 H. I got a hundred bucks if you can be here in five. Thanks.",0 3964,You call the super for a screwdriver?,2 3965,""So, how 'bout those last 30 Super Bowls"?",2 3966,"Well, to be fair, everyone has some glaring gap in knowledge, something really obvious you somehow never learned.",4 3967,"Ted, that wasn't easy. It took a lot of "ch-aracter" to admit that.",4 3968,Where do I begin?,0 3969,"I love you, Daddy. I'm so glad we're best friends now.",0 3970,"Guys, my dad's awesome. He's the mother of all fathers. Check this out.",0 3971,Do you... get laid a lot?,0 3972,You're a master. You are legen... wait for it...,0 3973,"I hope Barney's dad isn't just pretending to be something he's not, you know?",1 3974,Yeah. That would make Jerry a real chamma-leeon.,2 3975,You have terrible aim.,1 3976,I think I need a drink.,0 3977,"Yes, yes, yes.",0 3978,You ever bang Stevie Nicks?,0 3979,"Oh, my God, you're a natural. Think of the pickup plays we can run as a father-son duo. There's the "Father Knows Breast," there's the "Bush Dynasty," the "Lick Father, Lick Son."",0 3980,Why?,0 3981,What?,0 3982,"No, I most certainly am not. Look, I met him. He's not my kind of bro and that's that.",0 3983,"Awesome. Um, Lily, keys. (She throws them way too hard, they land in the trees) I'm literally 11 inches from you.",3 3984,"Okay, I'm not an idiot. Reindeer are obviously f... re... fake?",4 3985,"It ages well, that's the thing.",0 3986,You guys like my new soul patch?,3 3987,"Righteous hair tab, brotha.",4 3988,"Well, I guess maybe one gap you have is... you can't wink.",1 3989,"Oh, well, huh, now we all know you make excuses. I was talking about money.",0 3990,"Sounds like you're having your fourth period. Am I right, Dad?!",0 3991,You always add too much water to oatmeal.,1 3992,It's like I'm blind.,3 3993,You're too old to ask to see the cockpit.,2 3994,"J.J. gets a childhood, a dad, a real family and a basketball hoop? No, no. I at least get the hoop. I'm taking it with me.",0 3995,Can you help me with this?,0 3996,"Oh, well, I also really liked your outdoor stripper pole idea. Yeah, it's fine.",1 3997,Or maybe he was. Think about it. The way that she bats her eyelashes and shakes her tail feathers in his face? (chuckles) She wants it.,4 3998,Quit GNB?! Why?,0 3999,"I need to do better things with my life, okay? There's-There's an opening for an environmental lawyer at the National Resources Defense Council. Sure, it pays less, but I'd be saving the oceans, saving endangered species...",3 4000,"Well, I know that a trip there costs some serious lira.",0 4001,It's dinero.,1 4002,"The point is, you can't trust graduation goggles. They're just as misleading as beer goggles, bridesmaid goggles, and that's-just-a-bulky, outdated-cell-phone in-his-front-pocket goggles. That one was a bummer.",4 4003,I'm starting to feel bad for Ted and Zoey.,2 4004,And I said my name was...?,0 4005,What? Why?,1 4006,"...so, if the Landmarks Preservation Committee sides with Zoey, your whole project goes down the tubes? You must be furious.",4 4007,Why don't you admit that Marshall quitting his job and taking an unpaid internship is k*ll you?,1 4008,I'm sorry. Sorry. Something Hershel said at work today.,0 4009,Hershel?,4 4010,"Barney, I'm not playing...",3 4011,"Baby, you have my full support.",2 4012,"Care? I don't care. I'm like, whatever. Marshall who? He's stupid. Hershel's way better.",0 4013,"Okay. Well, um, you want to go grab some lunch?",4 4014,"You were right, Lily. I mean, Zoey's great, but... sometimes I do wish we were a little more like you and Marshall. There he is. Here we go. (Ted says some incomprehensible things in spanish)",1 4015,"I honestly haven't thought it all the way through, and I don't intend to. All I know is that I'm a ticking time b*mb, and if I don't do something for me right away, I swear I'm gonna explode!",2 4016,Marshall's been asking a lot lately.,2 4017,"You trashed your office today. I mean, you obviously have some deep feelings you're not confronting. And I think they're about your dad.",4 4018,"I don't want to talk about it, okay?",0 4019,That's... the most harrowing story I've ever heard. Is it true?,0 4020,"Hey, Professor Rodriguez, thank you so much for coming.",3 4021,What?,3 4022,"Oh, thanks, babe. You would not believe how much this one has done to help throw this party, Ted. I don't know how she does it. Can't be easy, huh, Lil?",3 4023,"No, you know what? Me, too. Um... I want to thank you for being so supportive of me in all this. I've been at the NRDC for less than a week, and I've already done more to be proud of than in two years at GNB. I can't believe how good it feels. But now, it's time for me to find a way to help the Earth and get paid for it, because I can't put that burden entirely on you. So, starting tomorrow, I'll look for something with a paycheck. What do you think?",3 4024,This you can be supportive of?!,1 4025,"Yes, of course, of course... anything.",3 4026,"Ooh, hold on, let me check my personality. Oh, no. Turns out I would never do that in a million years.",0 4027,"Wow, you know nothing about the suburbs.",4 4028,"Well, this Saturday night, I am bustin' him out. I'm gonna make Jerry realize he was wrong about giving up his old life by showing him the awesomest night of all time. And for the awesomest night of all time, I'm going to need the awesomest friends of all time. Okay, who do I know? Guys...! Do any of you know George Clooney?",0 4029,Yeah.,0 4030,Gross!,3 4031,Ah. You're right... "No quoting Oscar Wilde.",1 4032,"Playwright. We're all writers, just some of us don't know what our story is yet.",3 4033,"Lily, his wife.",0 4034,"Oh, No shut down, too.",3 4035,"Guys, shut up.",2 4036,"I had to leave before we could finish talking, so that was it. You know, ever since then, I've always... Oh, my God, he's coming over here. Oh. Hello.",4 4037,"I sleep around, too. Just as much. A little more, even.",3 4038,I work 90 hours a week subsidizing your "real job.",2 4039,I brought French cooking to America!,2 4040,What?,3 4041,"Barney, how is that awesome?",4 4042,"No, of course not. I... I just...",0 4043,"Hey, Robin.",1 4044,"All right. Whoa, stop.",4 4045,What?,1 4046,"But I... I can't see, and you can't see me.",1 4047,"(laughing): Hey, hey! There we go!",0 4048,"It's okay, Dad. I never thought tonight would be so awesome! So... next stop, strip club. The Lusty Leopard has a special...",0 4049,What?,0 4050,A drunk audience.,0 4051,"Well, here's something you didn't know... I'm a pretty good magician, too. (They escape and run away) Abracadabra!",0 4052,"I, uh... Oh.",4 4053,"Hi, Robin. Could I have your phone number?",3 4054,"No, Jerry, this is not the time to go to another club! We've got to get you back home in time for that trip. But there's no more trains, there's no cabs.",0 4055,I am not going to buckle up!,0 4056,I won that race. My prize... sex in the bathroom.,2 4057,"Aw, sorry that secret crush didn't work out for you.",2 4058,This... sucks.,0 4059,Your move.,3 4060,"Invitations for the demolition of The Arcadian. As head of the project, I get to decide how we knock it down. I'm torn between training an actual coyote to use an ACME dynamite plunger, or hooking up a fuse to Eddie Van Halen's guitar that goes off the second he hits the last note to "Hot For Teacher." Barney! Barney! Bar... No, no. I'm going to go coyote.",0 4061,"Wait. While no one wants to see a, uh, coyote wearing a little hard hat more than me, remember: Zoey's protest could still shut your whole project down.",4 4062,"Point is, we are taking her and The Arcadian down. Am I right, Teddy Westside?",0 4063,You know it.,1 4064,Isn't it tough dating the woman that's trying to prevent your building from being built?,2 4065,"Wait, Marshall's helping you save The Arcadian, now.",4 4066,"So, they found water on Mars. What?",1 4067,No. I' was... I was...,0 4068,"Pfff. Try 283. 250 was months ago. No, no, no. No, I mean, you're totally 250, baby. No, don't. (The girl leaves)",0 4069,"Oh, boy. Look who's back.",2 4070,Are you sure it doesn't taste like anything else?,0 4071,"That's what you get, you traitor!",0 4072,"Oh, really? Really?",3 4073,"Yes, but the right kind of drunk. Uh... we should go with something mellow. Maybe red wine?",2 4074,"Oh, I don't know. Red wine has kind of an odd effect on Barney. He reaches a point of sad clarity.",4 4075,Absolutely not. I'm not going anywhere near you and a martini.,4 4076,I only say that because it would be so stupid if we did. So stupid...,2 4077,"Oh, yeah? Well... what about you and absinthe?",2 4078,"I don't know. We could have water, soda, purple stuff...",3 4079,Peppermint schnapps?,2 4080,Who?,2 4081,"The crazy old host of Family Feud, who greeted women by kissing them on the mouth.",4 4082,Show me chicken wings!,0 4083,"Well, enjoy Martha's Vineyard. Hopefully by the time you get back, we'll be allowed back into MacLaren's.",4 4084,What do you mean?,1 4085,Okay. You know what? We're settling this once and for all.,1 4086,"Yeah, we need a drink that, that takes subtext and turns it into text. Yeah.",2 4087,"Ever since my father walked out on my childhood, I've had serious abandonment issues. You walking out on me like that...",0 4088,That's what everyone keeps saying but people just keep leaving me.,0 4089,"Dance, my puppets, dance!",4 4090,Now do you see why I'm always interfering in other people's lives?,2 4091,"Dust just flew out of that comforter in the shape of a skull. Whoa, something just passed through me. Can you get STDs from the ghost of a prostitute?",1 4092,What are... What are you doing in our bathroom?,1 4093,"Again, just a whole other thing, sweetie. Where'd they go? Oh, no. They did shots.",2 4094,What's the worst thing they could possibly drink right now?,2 4095,Your place or mi... Your place or mi... Le-Let's go to your place. Mm.,0 4096,I love you.,1 4097,"Uh, no. N-Not right...",0 4098,"Oh, my God! It's the cock-a-mouse!",1 4099,"Oh, yeah? Hey! Hey! Do you guys have some pancakes, because I... would really like some pancakes. They're fantastic. Let's be honest, I love them. But I hate this guy!",3 4100,We gave them one drink too many. They must've blacked out and forgotten the whole thing.,4 4101,Right?,4 4102,Time is music the planets make. Music the planets make...,2 4103,"Yeah, I have that, too.",4 4104,"If you end an argument with a rhyme, it's convincing all the time.",3 4105,And she hasn't since.,3 4106,What?,1 4107,"Zoey's lady bits... are magic, and that's how she controls your mind. You see, every few hundred millennia, lady bits leap forward...",0 4108,What...?! No... What?!...No... What?!,0 4109,Come on. This is so about the girl.,0 4110,"Hi, Arthur. Everything okay?",0 4111,"Oh. That's fine, then. So listen, you know Ted, the architect?",0 4112,"So, if Ted stood up at that big meeting tomorrow and said that he thought The Arcadian should be a landmark... You wouldn't just fire him, would you? (laughing uncomfortably) Right? You wouldn't just... You wouldn't just... yeah...",0 4113,By... being Latino?,0 4114,"Guys, I'm telling you, if Ted Mosby isn't fantastic, fire me.",0 4115,No idea.,1 4116,"Okay, Ted... you know I love Zoey. But, look, sometimes... I go play chess in the park. And the key to chess... Okay, I play online. But the key to chess... Okay, it's Angry Birds! But the key to Angry Birds is to always try to see every possible outcome. And to... hit some pigs with rocks or something. I don't know; I don't play. I can't get it to download. The point is, this thing with you and Zoey? I can see it going three possible ways. There's the first scenario.",4 4117,The chairman asks you...,4 4118,And Zoey dumps you on the spot.,4 4119,The chairman asks you...,4 4120,"Okay, first of all, no ninja's getting a jump on me. I have the reflexes of a jungle... (Robin slaps him by surprise)",1 4121,Exactly.,1 4122,What are we gonna do? We should buy a bar.,1 4123,We should totally buy a bar!,0 4124,We should absolutely totally buy a bar!,3 4125,It's really the only sensible idea right now.,4 4126,Ho! You're judged by a jury of your beers.,4 4127,"Listen, Arthur, Marshall's wife has an idea for how we can save, not saving The Arcadian.",0 4128,That's the first time since the breakup. How's she doing?,4 4129,I want to press the button!,0 4130,This was about to be my third bowl. Why shouldn't I eat the soup? Why shouldn't I eat the soup?,3 4131,"You know, Rod, um, I'm loving that nickname, and I can tell it's totally affectionate, but, uh, I'd prefer Ted.",1 4132,"50,000 lightbulbs! What if this one's too bright? What if this one flickers and gives everyone a weird headache? Do you know how many people it takes to change 50,000 lightbulbs?",1 4133,"Oh, hey, buddy.",0 4134,Hey. Everything okay?,4 4135,"Lily got food poisoning from some soup. And then I ate the soup exactly three hours later. Which means I can see exactly three hours into my future, and it... doesn't... look... good. I tried to be supportive.",3 4136,"Of course, baby. (He hesitates, then put one finger onto her back)",3 4137,"Um, I...",3 4138,"I bet it's both. Hey, speaking of explosions... enough already, Ted! That button's mine!",0 4139,"I got you this job, so I... Say what?",0 4140,Whatever. It's yours. I gotta run. (Ted leaves the Bar),1 4141,Who's that from?,0 4142,Zoey. They're meeting for coffee. Ted's getting back together with her!,4 4143,"Uh, Ted's gone back for less.",4 4144,"Well, that's good. All we have to do is think back to the time Ted told us about his first date with Zoey.",0 4145,"Aw, that's sweet.",4 4146,"I was in a coma. I mean, who pays attention to that sappy romantic crap?",4 4147,"Okay, we're never gonna find him.",4 4148,Got it. Ted's at... (Lily runs to the bathroom and throws up) Oh... Ted's at Smith and Ninth Street.,2 4149,That's in Brooklyn. How are we ever gonna get there in time?,4 4150,"Hello, hi.",3 4151,"Yeah, almost as bad as us.",0 4152,"We were a mess. Do you remember how awful I looked by the end? My hair was falling out, my skin was gray, my back was hunched.",4 4153,I guess I get it.,4 4154,What do you mean?,0 4155,"Yeah, she did.",4 4156,"Okay, where the hell are they?",4 4157,I have food poisoning and I'm about to start volcanoing toxic sludge out of both ends! (Marshall leaves in a hurry),3 4158,"Thanks, Julia! No, on second thought. (Barney and Robin jumps on him, all three fall down)Ooh! Come on. What the hell?!",1 4159,"I'm not freaking out over a lightbulb! I'm freaking out over 50,000 lightbulbs! I can't do this! I only got this job because you gave it to me, Barney. I didn't earn it!",1 4160,You sure?,1 4161,Yeah. You earned it.,0 4162,How you been?,0 4163,"Geez, what now? (He goes inside, enters a room) I heard the groom needed me.",1 4164,Hi. Guys before you go that you bother to read my toast for the wedding?,1 4165,"These marriages have become associated as the worst moment of my life. The love between Joel and Mora is magnificent. I thought I had the same thing... Until my fiancee left me at the altar last week. I was asked not to talk about that, so I will not do. I sit in front of her home at night sometimes. It changed hairstyle. (In 2009...) After losing my job last week, I asked not to give this toast... (A man tries to take her microphone) No, no, no! The happy couple should hear. It's over. But from the ashes of your divorce statistically probable, hope can be reborn. That is why I opened my own architectural firm Mosbius Designs. (3 months later...) Mosbius Designs went bankrupt. But the love of Alex and Jessica reminds us that... Oh, my God!",1 4166,Wow. Punchy has posted weaknesses of your life?,4 4167,I will not Punchy's wedding to brag... cover of a magazine.,1 4168,Has it been crashed once?,3 4169,Do not say a word until we know that all is well. Ok?,2 4170,"Four beer, plus a non-alcoholic.",2 4171,"My God, Barney, tonight is a magical night between the annoying friend of Ted and that is what this-face. A little respect.",4 4172,"It's not just be someone. This is a market survey. You see, my legendary success rate of 83%...",0 4173,"Lily, you go getting drunk tonight.",4 4174,In nine months I would push a baby Eriksen with a pumpkin head out of my hoo-haa. I think Dad can handle a few cocktails and more.,2 4175,My what?,4 4176,"You're more drunk than I thought. I mean, look at this type.",4 4177,"I've told you, I'm not here to brag, ok?",1 4178,Barney and I have tried and failed. It was there two years. Why would I start? It would not make sense.,4 4179,"It does not make sense. It's chemistry. Listen, I always them a sixth sense for these things. And now that I'm pregnant... deep in me in my uterus, I see things more clearly. You and Barney have that kind of chemistry that is still there.",2 4180,"It does not work for you because A vampires are offside, B or pretend that I invented Facebook was a bit too?",0 4181,"Hear, hear, Clay. No major publication does write about your small agency?",3 4182,"Because in the depths of himself, even if he does not know yet, Barney wants to be with you. And if it does not happen, he deserves to know.",2 4183,"I know what you gonna say. Show in Cleveland, how it goes.",0 4184,I know it did not work the first time...,0 4185,... and it makes no sense...,4 4186,"Eriksen, be strong. Keep it a secret.",2 4187,Yeah!,3 4188,Are you okay?,1 4189,Not even a little bit.,4 4190,You've been too focused on your work.,4 4191,"A chemistry. If there is alchemy, you just need another thing.",4 4192,"I'm all yours. Unrelated, architects make a lot?",4 4193,We are here tonight to celebrate love. The love that brings us a new life...,1 4194,Hey! (Marshall took the microphone from the hands of Ted) This is not a whiner. They are tears of joy. Ted is happy for his friends because it's the best guy I know. And do you know why he is happy? For the beautiful young lady is pregnant here.,3 4195,"I chose the right tie, huh?",0 4196,"Oh, I'll cry too.",1 4197,Between.,0 4198,"Ted, the bride wants to see you. Seriously? Will you be wearing this tie?",2 4199,A one-man show... I love it!,0 4200,"Oh, no. How have I landed on it? Salvation. Ted Mosby. (With another woman) I plead guilty. Salvation. Ted Mosby. (And another) It's embarrassing. I will be on the cover of "An egg on my face" magazine. But I'm not. I'm on the cover of that one. Salvation. Ted Mosby.",1 4201,"completely random 16 times in one day, and 16 of these, 10 were single. Of these 10, seven have loved what they saw. Of these seven, four were women. And these four, two have given me their real number. And I go with both.",1 4202,"If I did not work, I could finish... in kind, a Taco Belle somewhere. And nobody wants that. Unless you want to do this, like this you would have free tacos, since you are my friends. But now I need you all calmiez! (He finally won) Hello.",3 4203,He's interested!,3 4204,"I just had two rencards following. With two adorable girls, four cappuccinos and wait... (2 minutes later...) I do not know which was the best. Here are the girls: Jessica is a student in Rhode Island, she traveled around the world, speaks four languages and plays the piano. Claire and fought for the bill. So I do not know. It is torture. You see, the two girls have the potential to be really special. They both deserve a second round.",1 4205,Pete Durkenson.,3 4206,This is the guy who convinced you to run around campus naked?,4 4207,"I wanted to join a club that I left three days later, because the clubs are stupid and elitist. And I also discovered that it was not a club.",3 4208,"Pete, Pete. Hey!",3 4209,"I do not have time to explain how I got there. I just need someone to suck the poison. The surgeon gave me a new face, darling. You realize that I am alive? My name is David Beckham. If I castais only the white swan, is the role for you. No, I am a lesbian. What I wear is just very realistic.",0 4210,There is no club.,3 4211,"It's not that I want to be a troublemaker. Fair, I must be one. I'll be a dad. You have children one day, you will understand.",3 4212,"And that made all the lies related to space. Let the world of sports. Oh wait, I forgot for a space: "I was bitten by a snake space. You have to suck all the poison around my... "",0 4213,I do not laugh. It is a restaurant 24h/24. I will stay forever if necessary. And I will. Just water for me please.,0 4214,"Well, it looks like Jessica wins in the first four categories.",2 4215,"Oh, that? It's nothing. It cost me three months' rent, and uh, I have never worn because I bought it for a big party to which you would have asked what did not happen. But, you know what? Do not feel guilty.",4 4216,What big event?,1 4217,What does it therefore reference?,2 4218,"Oh, I told Nora that I would not leave until I have no second appointment, and I intend to do. I am here since 9 o'clock. I still need another minute. Say I'm crazy, but I'll stay here as long as it will not be returned.",0 4219,"Yes, yes. Where is Lenny Kravitz?",4 4220,"Well, great. I'll go find one myself and hang myself.",4 4221,"No, you did not ruin a marriage. Only reception.",1 4222,And Miztva Bar next door.,4 4223,I've done it again!,3 4224,"Oh, nothing. I must have coffee with Nora. She is still angry, so I need some "sympathy points". She loves musicals, so I'll tell him that I fell off stage during a performance of "Man of La Mancha." What do you think?",0 4225,A one-man show... I love it!,0 4226,"completely random 16 times in one day, and 16 of these, 10 were single. Of these 10, seven have loved what they saw. Of these seven, four were women. And these four, two have given me their real number. And I go with both.",1 4227,"Guys, this is Garrison Cootes.",3 4228,"If I did not work, I could finish... in kind, a Taco Belle somewhere. And nobody wants that. Unless you want to do this, like this you would have free tacos, since you are my friends. But now I need you all calmiez! (He finally won) Hello.",3 4229,I love the work you do.,3 4230,"My naked...? Oh, that's nothing. I was playing in a One Man Show at Fiddler. There was this scene...",0 4231,"Someone who likes you, really. And suspicious, and probably accurately you do it over more later, and therefore he feels the need... I'm sorry, you spoke of this fantastic pair of tits, right? Because I seek, and I do not see them.",0 4232,Wait a minute. You're going to handle two girls at once? You do not think you should pick one before it gets too serious?,2 4233,Treat yourself my friend. Treat yourself. Oh no.,3 4234,Of course.,1 4235,"Pete, Pete. Hey!",3 4236,"Hey, I tried to call you all night.",3 4237,Who are you playing anyway?,3 4238,"I do not have time to explain how I got there. I just need someone to suck the poison. The surgeon gave me a new face, darling. You realize that I am alive? My name is David Beckham. If I castais only the white swan, is the role for you. No, I am a lesbian. What I wear is just very realistic.",0 4239,"If architects had only two b*ll*ts, eh Ted?",4 4240,"I knew it. Ted, left or right?",2 4241,"Yes, yes, good idea. Let fate decide? I will choose the left.",1 4242,There is no club.,3 4243,"Pete, please, remove the video.",3 4244,"Well, I count three for and one against.",0 4245,"Ok, so the red bar indicates the level of attractiveness, blue, intellectual stimulation, green, emotional connection, yellow, compatibility aspirations of life, and purple, so she tried to pay or not.",1 4246,"His funeral? It fell into the water, he emerged miraculously from his coma.",1 4247,"My name is Marshall Eriksen. I'm 33 and if my potential future employer, Garrison Cootes, look at this... Prostrate to Biercules!",3 4248,"Pete, it's Lily Aldrin. I'll be brief. You're going out this video of Marshall. You know why? Because I am friends with three girls with whom you came to school, and girls say it all together. Every small detail.Huh. So... tick, tick... Pete so goes the clock in the little dick.",2 4249,"I have no idea. Well, what do you take?",2 4250,"Barney, what are you doing here?",4 4251,"Oh, I told Nora that I would not leave until I have no second appointment, and I intend to do. I am here since 9 o'clock. I still need another minute. Say I'm crazy, but I'll stay here as long as it will not be returned.",0 4252,"That's what I want. Barney's feelings for Nora, I want to feel again. I do not want to choose between two girls. I want to be completely baba one of the two.",1 4253,I got the job.,3 4254,Saw what? Maybe the video is not so bad after all.,2 4255,You know what? Let her.,3 4256,I will remember Pete.,3 4257,"The pleasure is mine. And you know, you might find it interesting.Some of these guys represent the history of New York.",1 4258,"Well, great. I'll go find one myself and hang myself.",4 4259,Ok,1 4260,"Get it together, Mosby.",1 4261,I gots to know!,1 4262,"Hey, guys, for the last time, this place is enormous--",4 4263,"Hey, guys!",3 4264,"Insane Duane was your father's best friend, back in the days before he met me or your Uncle Ted.",4 4265,No way.,2 4266,"Anyway, Dad, Ted and Barney's New Year's Eve wasn't off to a great start, either.",3 4267,I never let myself believe this day would really come.,4 4268,Well...,1 4269,"You know what, Robin?",3 4270,Nice.,0 4271,Ted came out of that bathroom looking like Joe Frazier after the Thrilla in Manila.,4 4272,But then...,4 4273,Was it really that high?,4 4274,The TV happened,4 4275,I get... turned on watching myself do the news during sex.,4 4276,"Wait, I'm confused.",0 4277,I can't believe I have to go back to work on Monday and we still haven't found a nanny.,2 4278,Yay.,2 4279,"Ted, how are things going with Victoria?",3 4280,Ooh.,3 4281,"Okay, Robin, what would you do, and remember, "President of the World called parents away for a super-secret space mission" has already been taken.",3 4282,"Hey, guys.",2 4283,"And then you build to something else small, like a tasty snack.",2 4284,"Ted, you were never a badass.",2 4285,"The other week, Barney made a move, but I turned him down.",4 4286,"Starting at quarterback, the pride of Cleveland...",1 4287,Meet us at the swim class you apparently signed Marvin up for.,2 4288,"Hey, Ted. Hey. Where's Marvin?",2 4289,But I-I think that we've figured out what's going on with you.,3 4290,"Robin, seriously, this obsession isn't healthy.",1 4291,There are jerk faces and there are buttholes.,1 4292,"Let me free, Marshall.",0 4293,Are those...,3 4294,The Robin.,0 4295,"Lily, do you remember the band you guys almost hired for your wedding?",0 4296,"Really? Really? I just saved someone's life, and you guys are focusing on this?",1 4297,Wow.,2 4298,"Wait, did you steal my dream journal?",1 4299,But you two have to get married--,0 4300,"Hey, Marshall, you got to see this.",2 4301,This is the most,1 4302,Just like Jeanette.,1 4303,He sounds pissed.,3 4304,"Then, after I saved you from destroying",4 4305,"Robin, no, I don't want",0 4306,"It's fine, Ted.",0 4307,"Ted, wait.",0 4308,You know what's not a choice?,4 4309,Thank you so much.,4 4310,And Liddy would be all...,0 4311,Really?,1 4312,Wow.,1 4313,How'd you even do that?,3 4314,"What the...?! LILY: Oh, my God, yeah!",1 4315,Okay.,1 4316,"Even now, after all these years,",1 4317,"And hey, just think, one week from right now...",2