,text,character 0,"Oh, thank you very much. And I love your...coat. I love your coat.",0 1,"Well, it's not but I'm still mad about it.",3 2,How are you going to get everything done?,4 3,"Lily, where'd you get that?",1 4,I'll come with you.,0 5,What?!,3 6,What are you... What you're talking about?,1 7,"In the mail or in my mind? Zero. She's up three-zip. Oh! Cupcakes! Great. I bet they're delicious, too. Yup, they're delicious. Damn it! I don't deserve these delicious cupcakes. God, I hate myself right now.",1 8,It means nothing.,2 9,I'm lost. What do I do?,4 10,"He moved to Hong Kong for work and I was like, good enough.",4 11,"Thank you. You wrote all that you love our queen of the day. And Lilypad, you must guess who wrote what. "From his friends to his students, Lily that everyone in his life..."",3 12,"You know, this is perhaps good that you called Karen.",2 13,"I'm sorry, dude, it was funny.",3 14,My God. You just do it again. You've mosbysé!,0 15,"Got out"? What do you mean?,4 16,Robin?!,1 17,"Lily, you're being a wee bit intense about this band thing.",1 18,It's some sort of mutant combination of the two. It's as if a cockroach and a mouse...you know...,2 19,What does this button?,0 20,"Third base. Seriously, third base.",3 21,So are you gonna go to dinner with him?,4 22,"Why, I mean, there's just so much you need to know about her. Okay, for starters, don't ever cry in front her.",1 23,"OK, I'm just asking. You really want to recover?",2 24,"Barney, I'm only gonna say this once, so listen up. I love you and I love Robin. And I want to make this work. So if you give me a few weeks of attention, I could give you a lifetime of happiness. Can you do that for me?",1 25,"Whoa, whoa, you have got to be kidding me. Ted...",0 26,"Oh, come on, you have been throwing yourself at me all night.",0 27,"Hey, where the hell did you disappear to last night?",2 28,You know what I'm going to do? I'll call on. I will do "you remember me? It's been a ". It's funny because I just saw.,1 29,"Well, well you do. You're going to confront it.",3 30,"Pant, pant...",0 31,"Now I have letters from Becca who say, "I'll come see you the day I get out of here. I'll hang your eyes in my rearview mirror. "Women, eh?",0 32,Of course. You think I'm sleeping in it?,0 33,"Dude, I'm a girl. Our female parts are like a cobweb.Sometimes you jokes of things you want to.",4 34,"Oh! A ferret. I'll buy it some food next door at the Pet Palace. I've always wanted one, but Marshall have this secret phobia of ferrets.",2 35,I got a job.,3 36,Exactly. This is an important secret. How do you say "secret" in Spanish?,3 37,I know... I was this close to being a huge slut.,4 38,"Oh, that's a tough one. You know who I think could handle a problem like that?",1 39,"Hey, Dracula. Come on. Give me your candy. Gimme!",1 40,"Hey, man, how are you?",1 41,That's great. Like "right now" ready? (She laughs),1 42,And who's gonna represent you? Dibs on Marshall as my lawyer!,0 43,"Hi, Abby.",0 44,"If you want to make one of your classes exciting, I could read it from someone a little more fun, your students can pay attention and learn.",4 45,g*n! She's got a g*n!,0 46,"I hate to say this, but I think you're going to have to sell your stuff.",3 47,Have you ever fallen asleep while eating ribs?,1 48,"All of it. The fact that I became a lawyer to save the environment, and now I'm working for the bad guys instead. The fact that I am stuck in this job because of a mortgage I can barely afford on an apartment that is crooked. The fact that I am a grown man, and nobody, not even a*tillery Arthur, has the right to talk to me like that!",3 49,It meant nothing to us. It just felt really really really good.,2 50,What the hell?,2 51,"Lily, the downside to having giant, Japanese anime eyes is that they're easy to read. And yours are screaming, "What about my trip to Spain, b*at?"",1 52,"Hey, if you and Jessica are BFFs, how come we've never met her?",2 53,"No, no turning back. Ranjit, party number three.",1 54,"Yeah, I do. We ode that dude big time.",3 55,So badly.,3 56,"What? Wait, you were aware? You lied to me?",2 57,"Hey, Ted, are you busy?",2 58,Here's the deal. My friend just got dumped so he's a little shy but he'd love to buy you a drink and get to know you. The problem is he thinks a pretty girl like you won't go for a guy like him. So would you slap me across the face so he could see you're not into guys who feed you lines? What do you say? For my friend?,0 59,I knew it. I've always known. It remained the same trail irresponsible. And when I see Barney...,1 60,You know what will happen?,3 61,And a pineapple.,3 62,Flowers?,1 63,"Look at that, our table.",3 64,Wait. Expect. I want to say.,0 65,A van is more expensive.,1 66,The police officer was unharmed but um...,4 67,"I'm gonna call Barney, see how they're doing.",1 68,"Marshall can't know about this. Look, Ted, it's dark, I don't know how to change a tire, and I've stumbled into the beginning of a very scary campfire story. Can you please hurry?",2 69,"yeah, well... I think it'll be okay.",0 70,What?,0 71,"God,I hope not. Hey, cool murphy bed.",1 72,It works like this: one of us goes into the office the other and said...,0 73,"Oh, God. Oh, bite me!",4 74,"Oh, my God.",0 75,No. Are you? Just because a woman lives alone doesn't mean she's a les...,4 76,"Yes, no, I know. Pete, we drank together yesterday.",3 77,Nice.,1 78,It is. It... is... go! It is.,3 79,I love you.,0 80,"Forget it is located. If you try something, they'll know it's us. We should all go...",3 81,"Stop! I'm not pregnant. This is an intoxication. I ate something at the restaurant, three hours later, I vomited like a fountain.",4 82,"Uh... Okay, I did a bad thing last night. I looked up his address.",1 83,"So I said, "the cab, of course"",4 84,This kid doesn't stand a chance.,2 85,Anhedonic?,1 86,"Dude, you walked out of the room, the laws of physics stopped and the laws of awesome tripled.",3 87,I said I'd get us.,0 88,I hate them. Swedish architecture collective.,1 89,"And you got what, if you succeed?",1 90,"We all change, Lily. You know, you don't spell "women" with a "Y" anymore. And I'm okay with that. And you need to be okay with the fact that I may never become an environmental lawyer.",3 91,"But you did not do it, you've continued to insist.",0 92,And become an environmental lawyer?,2 93,"I'm... So glad we're trying, and I'm going to be really excited for when it happens, but this isn't a race.",3 94,Really?,2 95,"What kind of dirtbag doesn't stand by his best friends, but instead sides with some self-righteous bitch with a pointless cause and a megaphone?",0 96,How they made you call the Hurricane Hector when he was pouring with rain?,2 97,No. (And hangs up),4 98,"There's no way that's a picture of me. That woman has on hoop earrings, I don't even own hoop earrings. I have one pair and they're gold. Those are Fruit Loops.",4 99,Good luck on your date. I hope she's everything you're looking for.,4 100,"So, where did they find?",4 101,"No, you're not.",2 102,What do you want?,4 103,The worst.,0 104,"People often ask me "Barney, how is it that you're so psyched so much of the time?"",0 105,What Web site?,0 106,"Room 1506. My treat. You kids go nuts. Actually, don't use the mini-bar. Do it. Come on, Ted, do it. This is one of those things you have to do before you turn 30.",0 107,"Hey, hey. I bet it's not that small.",3 108,There are no points.,2 109,You want to know.,4 110,Why did not you asked the guard to recover your wallet?,0 111,Incredible!,4 112,You must cancel the luncheon.,3 113,"Of course we do. And you know what, I actually feel closer to you now. I want to know you. Like, know your soul.",3 114,No you weren't.,1 115,"Thank God that I'm not dating. If I thought that Lily talked in that much detail about our sex life, I'd probably k*ll myself. Oh, no. What did you tell her?",3 116,"Oh. OK, OK, we'll, we'll sneak her in.",2 117,Lose the cast.,1 118,A sun dress.,1 119,It hurts because I love... when Ted... layer with women. I am a very devoted friend! Lily is the only one I can talk. Tell him to talk to me.,0 120,"No, that's not it. I mean, you basically lived here all along. Ted loves you.",3 121,"My God, have you seen this guy. I want Barney is my new boyfriend. No, thank you.",4 122,"Where's the poop, Robin?",2 123,I'm not eating that burger.,4 124,"Dude, I thought we cleared this up last year.",1 125,That would have been bad.,0 126,"Of course I know. She couldn't look at us. Her face got flushed. That's shame. Our friend, Robin, used to do p*rn, wait for it, ography.",0 127,But?,2 128,What?! This night couldn't have gone any better. We've just survived a mugging. You know what that means.,0 129,That is great.,3 130,Totally. But hum... Where do you see this relationship going?,4 131,"Okay, what drink can fix this?",4 132,I read that. More like "Love in the Time of Don't Bothera.",4 133,This is so going in my blog!,0 134,"For the record, I was in there once by accident. I'm pretty sure it's pronounced Lamé.",3 135,It's about me.,1 136,"What? Lily, what? Are there more members of my family that you want to crap all over?",3 137,Who is it?,2 138,Happy New Year.,1 139,"You must tell the truth to your mother, OK? Listen, this is a nice woman, loving, a little too direct that deserves better.",3 140,Then open it!,2 141,Hey little old books. Ready for a little fifteen minute recess?,2 142,All was going well. Our techniques dodges worked perfectly until the skiing trip last weekend.,0 143,Stop! Amy?,0 144,Ooh. What-What is that?,1 145,"Guys, I'm kind of screwed here. I don't want to lose Victoria, but I can't ask her to stay just for me. And long distance definitely isn't an option.",1 146,I think 's nice that Ted knows you that well.,2 147,"What's wrong, baby?",2 148,"Claudia, it's all gonna be OK.",0 149,Husband's name?,1 150,"All right, everyone out! I said everyone out!",4 151,"Oh, no, Ted, your blazer!",2 152,I can't go. I've got this thing.,0 153,"What? Without fault? Flawless, faultless, flawless! Grow up a little!",2 154,Huh. I had no idea.,1 155,What do I do?,1 156,"No, there was a toothbrush in the bathroom, and it was mine.",1 157,"I know, baby. I'm pregnant.",2 158,"Yeah, I told Zoey you hate her.",4 159,Paying the bills.,1 160,I can't believe you're accusing me to be too hard on him. You're the one who said tough love.,1 161,"Yes, and you can still enjoy it even if you're not a pretentious douche.",4 162,"I sent her another email. "Dear Liz. I hope it didn't sound like I was trying to oversell Ted. The truth is, he is a genuinely nice, down to earth guy, and I think you two would really hit it off."",4 163,"I can. Good luck in Chicago, Don.",4 164,Ted? He's at work.,0 165,"Oh, but it is. She has... Wait for it. Here it comes. Almost there...an identical twin. Yes!",0 166,"I don't know, Robin. I made such a jackass out of myself here, every time we start hanging out it'll be like, "Oh-that's right-I'm a jackass."",1 167,How was it?,3 168,"Wrong. The answer we were looking for was "I don't care, it's dumb". Let's go buy something that's bad for us and then sue the people who made it. That's America, Robin.",0 169,"He's gonna want the apartment. I'm gonna want the apartment. It's gonna lead to an argument, so no.",1 170,"It's ridiculous in here, why don't we go somewhere else?",4 171,"What? Nora? No, I don't.",0 172,"Wonderful, we still speak of that!",0 173,Coat check girl.,1 174,Oh my God.,1 175,"So Ted's in love with Zoey and Zoey's in love with Ted? Well, that-that's not going to work. I got to call Ted.",3 176,"Great. Oh, hey, Ted...",2 177,"Hey, so, now that I'm working here, are you finally going to tell me exactly what your job is?",3 178,"Oh, right.",0 179,Bourre.,2 180,But nobody in five years?,1 181,I want to say- Jefferson?,4 182,"She does. It's Robert De Niro, but, like, super buff, like in Cape Fear.",4 183,We talked about it a million times! You get no slogan!,0 184,"Hey. How do you like my date's tux? Ooh! Uh, a-thank you! Oh, none for him. He's stuffed.",4 185,"No. It's called manners, jerk. Now, what's-what's going on in New York? Give me something.",3 186,"And right before my eyes, your father broke down in tears. (Actually, it's Marshall who starts crying) Stop it! You come to Thanksgiving!",3 187,"Anyway, I get Honey back to her place.",0 188,We're done here.,1 189,Whoa. That is a butt-load of motivational posters.,3 190,I have so many questions. Why would you do this? What were you thinking? Who the hell is that guy? (showing a guy in the classroom).,4 191,"You're right. She's all yours, buddy. I'd say hump her brains out, but someone obviously already has.",1 192,"OK, that's awesome.",2 193,"Oh, my God, it's the T-shirt, isn't it?",4 194,"Pete, it's Lily Aldrin. I'll be brief. You're going out this video of Marshall. You know why? Because I am friends with three girls with whom you came to school, and girls say it all together. Every small detail.Huh. So... tick, tick... Pete so goes the clock in the little dick.",2 195,"Yeah. I guess our relationship had to take a hit so a new one out there could blossom. Oh, crap!",2 196,Now we go back to exactly the way things were before.,4 197,I have one. Terminator.,4 198,"No, no, no. I didn't mean that.",1 199,"Believe it or not, that duff bag thing worked.",0 200,"Ted, what does your mom always say?",3 201,Worse!,3 202,"Come on, let's go.",0 203,Good idea. I have the tape.,1 204,Me too!,1 205,That is a fat sandwich.,1 206,"Oh, my God, what are they doing home?",2 207,My phlegm feels looser.,4 208,Being single's the best.,0 209,"I don't have 20,000.",3 210,"Well, it was implied. Who buys a razor without buying shaving cream?",4 211,"Hey, Toy-man!",0 212,"It's bad, guys. Mama needs it bad.",2 213,"Well, the bus runs more often on weekends. Take the M-7 to the M-5.",1 214,Do not listen. It's decided.,1 215,You b*at him or I do it?,1 216,"I drink to forget the 1999 NFC Championship"?,4 217,What? I love New Jersey. Why you say that?,1 218,Those are for the hungry.,1 219,"Slut would have been better, but I'll settle for bro. Especially now that Ted's with Victoria and can't drink. Because he's pregnant. Cause he's the girl.",0 220,I hate you more.,3 221,Hi.,1 222,♪ And we bang chicks in Ted's room. ♪,0 223,"Uh, yeah. I actually went apartment hunting with her today.",4 224,Why do you want as I go on the roof? You made me a surprise party?,1 225,"You bring her girls at our parties, and it lets them believe that things are serious. After the largues when you, you know to whom they turn? Me. I was the cleaning crew of your girlfriends for years.",3 226,"Ah, Canada in June. That's great.",1 227,There was a fight here.,1 228,Ever.,1 229,"Worst idea ever! My junk ended up in some stranger's pocket. If there phone was on vibrate, I basically dry-humped them.",3 230,The pants. Still tells.,0 231,"You're just waiting for me to speak, so you can...",1 232,Jorge Posada!,4 233,"Hey, look, Barney has yet fallen one.",4 234,Sure.,2 235,I hope not.,2 236,"Well, it's complicated. I think it would be when you have expectations, emotional involvement...",2 237,But I'm your best friend.,0 238,(singing) Studyin' law. Making a responsible choice for my future... on a Friday Night. Bein' a lawyer had better be awesome.,3 239,"Oh, she sounds great. And who knows? Maybe we'll wind up getting married someday. You know, if we can get a blessing from her pimp.",1 240,Let's start with this one.,1 241,Leave the bat.,1 242,Really?,3 243,"Yeah of course. Why, why wouldn't I be?... (picks up) Go for Barney.",0 244,Leads to me!,4 245,It's a cockamouse.,2 246,"How do you n...Oh, you didn't!",2 247,"Well, good luck, baby.",2 248,Are you gonna hook up with him?,1 249,What do you mean by "delicate"?,1 250,"Well, Ted, what else did she said? Did she gave you any kind of explanation?",4 251,"What, you think you're gonna upset me? Please, give me your best sh*t.",0 252,"Oh, baby, what's wrong?",2 253,"Correct! And if she achieves that, will she truly be happy?",1 254,"What? Barney: I just made that up mid-pee. It worked on you, it's definitely gonna work on that blonde chick at the end of the bar. Unless you're a total idiot. What's your name?",1 255,False! Never lie to his friends. I should never have lied.,1 256,"Oh, sorry for you. Wanna go out tonight?",1 257,"But what...? The Book of the Rolls, this is gold. Granted this is truly spectacular.",0 258,"Why do you say that? I mean, you got married pretty young. That wasn't a mistake. Was it?",4 259,"Thank you, everyone. Thank you, everyone. It's been fun. It's Wendy the waitress. Tip her well. Thanks a lot, guys. Troilus and Cressida. Neighborhood Playhouse. Check them out, they're good.",0 260,And the intense eye contact thing?,4 261,Damn it!,4 262,Lily?,1 263,"Almost exclusively. But here's my point: If they ask GNB's chief architect... aka me... if The Arcadian should be a landmark, and I say "yes"?",1 264,"And see Coney Island. I've still never been. See, we have a whole bucket list of things to do before we start having kids.",3 265,Really?,1 266,Your nose is growing. You've become best friends with Jillian now?,2 267,We totally did.,1 268,"You've hurt me before, why should I trust you now?",4 269,There's so much of your mom in you.,0 270,"Good news, I talked to the guys.",3 271,"I do not care, I can eat. Yes, we would like nachos.",1 272,"No part of Barney Stinson does not run at less than 110%. If one of my Michael Phelps escaped, he swims for gold. It's a nightmare. I want no children. How can want to have children without being mad?",0 273,Barf.,4 274,I thought he was here helping you.,2 275,"No, I just think it will be great both on the air.",4 276,But just one. This is the first and the last cigarette of my life.,3 277,"Baby, where you going?",2 278,Very good program.,4 279,"Well, that's the best part. A gay couple without kids. A G-CWOK!",2 280,"Hey, word play. Funny.",1 281,I searched my bag to get my stuff working...,3 282,"Okay. Maybe, eventually, I could settle down. 50 years from now, if I have like a Hefner thing going on with some really hot twins. But those twins won't even be born for another... 32 years. I mean... Nora's great. She's wonderful. But...",0 283,Tom Petty. You're Tom Petty.,1 284,"Alright, one beer.",1 285,"Holly explained everything to me, it was just a misunderstanding. All is well now.",1 286,"Oh, uh, that reminds me, I invited Bob.",4 287,"You auditioned, didn't you?",1 288,"The Magnificent Kevin.",2 289,We've been over this. Unless I say "flugelhorn" you haven't gone too far.,4 290,I can not believe Robin supports it.,3 291,I can't design the building.,1 292,What? You told me to meet someone.,4 293,What a jerk!,4 294,"My friend in Canada who got married way too young, they had to do their vows twice, once in French.",4 295,"Oh, okay.",2 296,I have a bingo.,0 297,The boss.,3 298,Are you married?,1 299,"Seriously, Claudia and Stuart?! I mean, I've hooked up with the odd lass who was beneath my level of attractiveness, but, you know, I was drunk. There's no way Claudia has been drunk for three years.",0 300,Where does she get off? She doesn't know how much money I make.,2 301,"Man, I am losing my touch.",2 302,"OK, that's enough for tonight. I'll go slowly.",2 303,Wait. You go to the hardware store to pick up girls?,4 304,I wanted to call you.,0 305,"Baby, do not worry for me, I mean, yes, I'm a little scared, but I am New York. I will not let me change it.",2 306,Crab puffs were incredible.,3 307,Yuck? Are you kidding? There is no one left to do...,1 308,What the hell was that? Doug: That was my new mommy.,4 309,What are you charpy about?,2 310,"Leaving space dismissal, you get into what I call "the Renaissance Corridor Quiet." Here, an oval room of rest with psychological support. Right there, after the fountain of the New Departure. And here it is. Instead of a sad and gloomy cell, a protective womb... giving birth to a new life.",1 311,(scoffs),1 312,"Well, I figured you'd be busy, reading What to Expect When You're Expecting to Expect.",4 313,He's not a dog.,4 314,"Man, this is like "Where's Waldo" of exposed genitalia. Except that it's really easy to find Waldo.",2 315,So there's more surprises? Like what?,2 316,Tell me your last name.,1 317,"Baby, I'm not trying to pressure you one bit.",3 318,(hits him) No! As your sponsor I will not let you relapse. You blew it; it's over-move on.,0 319,"Oh, thanks.",4 320,D'you ever lick it?,0 321,"You're extremely fertile! Oh, my God. I told you there was nothing to worry about. I got to call my dad and tell him the good news. If you're fertile, um, then that means I'm the problem.",3 322,You slept together?,2 323,"Actually, I spoke to Robin. It is a little late, but it will be there on time.",1 324,"Oh, yeah. Weirdly hot, right?",3 325,Hey. What are you doing here?,1 326,How good was that movie?,1 327,Good for her.,1 328,"Yes, she does! She likes you. She told me.",2 329,What is that thing?,1 330,"Wait, you mean that hawaiian place where they wear those embarrassing outfits?",1 331,Goes?,1 332,I love Chow-man. They can not fire him. You know what I like about Chow-man?,3 333,"Translation: 'cause I got game, bitches.",0 334,Okay. Let's talk.,4 335,They can't... get divorced.,0 336,"Yeah, how'd you know?",4 337,"Oh, thank God. I'll go first. Ted, this hous you bought for your hypothetical family is super weird. We talk about it all the time behind your back.",0 338,"I don't know, I got a feeling. This could be the year. Halloween is a night of wonder and magic.",1 339,Right?! I found someone who can fix the Viking lamp!,3 340,"For your information, my fiancee did.",3 341,"That guy gave you noogies? What, did he carry a stepladder?",1 342,Not that nervous.,3 343,""Is he going to rock your world in bed? No. But he's clean, open to criticism, and not into anything too weird. He's not bad at all. Not bad at all."",4 344,That is a terrible idea!,2 345,"Okay, we can go to the bar, just stop talking.",2 346,Well done.,3 347,It's beautiful. And it helps you to find other girls to sleep with?,0 348,I thought we were done with that?,0 349,And did it work?,2 350,"Seriously Robin, you should have the slap. You're a big baffeuse. In fact, I want to study the slaps in your tutoring. I wanna be your apprentice-slap.",1 351,"Well, that's a little weird, but yeah, it is.",3 352,"Hey, we're still those people. One of these days, Marshall's going to quit his job and go to work for the NRDC, and save the world, right, baby?",2 353,"When we get home, we're gonna go to a little meeting. Okay?",1 354,I cannot believe that she gave him her number.,3 355,It will not work. If?,3 356,MAQACENJaR?,3 357,"Well, tt's just getting a little bit too serious with the kid. You know, it's just not what I'm looking for. So, better that I break it off now before he gets too attached.",4 358,Are you kidding? Ted's never been here. You've already flown higher and faster than he ever did. Still...,0 359,"Stay out of it, Brigitte Nielsen and Dolph Lundgren in Rocky IV! We need Marshall and Lily.",0 360,Where is Barney?,2 361,"No, Was was Closed. Once Was shut down, it reopened as Closed.",0 362,"Man, I hope so.

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Meanwhile, I'll make sure",4 371,"... I want to sleep with her, at least one last time. She is mine!",0 372,"Sorry. It's just... I can not concentrate during the Wheel of Fortune... A penny saved is a penny, Helen!",1 373,Just one thing: no nightgown.,4 374,"Oh, no, not that one. That's the booker for the club that my band plays at. You know, my all-lawyer funk band... you remember... The Funk, the Whole Funk and Nothing but the Funk.",3 375,I asked her out.,1 376,"Ah, I know that move. You cut a hole in the floor, she reaches into the living room, finds the tree... Nice.",0 377,"You know what, fine, if you don't think the Jerky Boys are funny, then I'm not sure that I can raise a child with you, liver lips.",3 378,Yeah!,3 379,"Hey, Lily. Found a ship captain.",3 380,Ah! Don't! Stop saying that! Why do you keep saying that? You... I don't want to know that. I'm not going to be able to look the guy in the eye. I'm certainly not going to be able to call him "Max.",3 381,That's my wife.,3 382,kablammo.,4 383,"Barney, he did not need your advice. You never called Nora.",4 384,"Ted, you do not have more game than me. By sheer numbers alone, I win. Come on, dude, you've seen my list.",0 385,Robin was into me when we first met. Fact.,1 386,I'm on it.,0 387,"Ted, he's right. You overthink. Maybe you should overdrink.",3 388,All summer.,0 389,It's not like I have a list.,1 390,He's even getting me into the VIP room.,4 391,"I threw up? My streak is over. Vomit-free since '05 doesn't sound good. Sorry, Carl, go on.",1 392,"So, Ted? You were worried that I oversold you to Liz. Well, I fixed it.",4 393,"You try this shit of course you're alone, look at you, poor trail.",0 394,That's a woman.,4 395,"You know what? No. I don't agree with what you did, and so I refuse to comfort you, despite how adorable you are when you cry.",3 396,"So when you tell this story to your friends, could you avoid the word "psycho"? I prefer...eccentric.",1 397,"All right, next stop: Chicago.",1 398,"Yeah, it's really, it's a cool game.",1 399,No.,1 400,"Well, that's cool. You got to pay the bills somehow since your whole music thing didn't really pan out, did it?",2 401,"You guys don't get it, okay? None of you do. My dad was my hero. And he was my teacher. And he was my best friend. He always came through for me. And now he's just gone. And what am I left with? (scratchy electronic sounds) Thanks a lot, God! Thank you! You took my father, the greatest man that I have ever known, and you ripped him off this Earth, way too young! And he'll never get to meet our kids, Lily. (scratchy sounds continue) But we got this voice mail. Thank you so much for the voice mail! It's a great comfort! 'Cause whenever I'm starting to feel lonely or sad, or-- or you know what, or maybe a little bit cheated, at least I got the sound of his pocket to console me. How is this fair? You know, like, an entire human life and it just ends for no reason, and... and what are we left with?",3 402,Flowers? Robin: Azaleas.,1 403,"Then, why did I wake up",2 404,"OK, we're way past truth-telling Lily and about to hit Cinco-de-Mayo-1998 Lily, and I'm not cleaning that up again. So, congratulations. You win, she's happy.",1 405,How do you know that?,2 406,Hey.,2 407,"Hey, hey, hey, hey! (showing a girl who spits on the ground)",0 408,What am I gonna do? My girlfriend's married. Do I ask her to get a divorce?,1 409,"Well, I guess you could - well, you could try going to brunch alone.",1 410,"Oh, now you're gonna bash her figure. Real classy, Ted.",0 411,He had a manicure.,4 412,She already has his ticket.,1 413,You really used the phrase Jed Mosley?,3 414,"Okay, out of curiosity,when do we tell him about the baby?",3 415,None of this is true! The truth is that... Betty and Tyler are actors I hired to pretend to be my family.,0 416,"Uh, no, I know Moby and that's Mo... Does he have a g*n?",2 417,"For us, Karen is an idiot. For him, this is the first to have touched his penis in hand himself, his mother and pediatrician.",3 418,Then you'll die in there.,2 419,He's not perfect.,4 420,"Oh, is that what those wooden things are floating between the garbage?",1 421,You got it.,1 422,Why?,1 423,I just wanted to tell you go... (She takes a megaphone) To all those watching. Go! Standing New York! BUT HUM!,4 424,What do you mean something?,3 425,Holding up your phone number on national TV.,2 426,"Fortunately, the cleaning lady comes tomorrow.",0 427,"It's not that easy, okay? You're not just deleting a number, you're deleting a part of your life. You know, all those memories, all those experiences. It's like you're admitting they're gone forever.",4 428,It's terrible. And bad... also.,1 429,Why have the class at any time?,3 430,"I know you're only just getting started, but this is already gross.",2 431,"Well, baby, we could watch Predator here. No, my mom can go rent it for us after she's done digging out the car.",3 432,"There is no place I would rather be and no one I would rather be with... (phone rings) I should get that. (picks up in the kitchen) Go for Barney... Look, I'm sort of in the middle of someone, something right now and I... You're a hot lady bullfighter?... (to the girl in his room) You gotta go.",0 433,"Okay, Scherbatsky. You want to tussle? I'll tussle.",1 434,Yes. Nothing b*at the immediacy of live theater. But which one of us is going to take the hit?(Barney hits Ted in the nuts) So that's it? No discussion?,1 435,"But as the night's progressed, she's gotten crazier but no hotter which has caused her to drift across the Mendoza diagonal and dangerously close to the Shelley Gillespie zone.",0 436,"(on the Phone) Hi, Ted.",4 437,Come on! Marshall?,0 438,"Come on, Marshall, it's the greatest pickup line of all time. Barney.",1 439,"Well, that guy is cheesy, and if you think he's not cheesy, then you're cheesy, too, and now I want something cheesy. Who's feeling nachos?",4 440,Not enough.,1 441,The Second Amendment protects my right to bear arms...,4 442,"Seriously, Doc, why isn't this happening?",2 443,That's easy. I took it.,2 444,"You have not lost a sock, little guy? This is probably the cutest little thing I've ever seen.",3 445,"You guys live in New Jersey, not New York?",1 446,"... a couple were atrocious. It did not work. You always love Robin, but remember the other women... And above all, the other breast, and all the cool stuff you do with breasts... Y to the head, juggle... squeaker squeaker... I'm a hopeless romantic.And there are drawings of breasts.",0 447,And we have a free bottle of champagne.,4 448,"Architecture is k*ll you and it k*ll us to see her k*ll you.You're like the goat with the mop. You want it so much, and whenever the world try to get the resume, it hooks you. But you know what? This is only a wimp. Why do you want?",2 449,I guess I made a mistake. Must have been Alexa.,1 450,I would say Amanda.,2 451,"(crying) It was just one thing after another at work today, and then... (sniffling) I found out my aunt's in the hospital. I'm just, I'm feeling so overwhelmed and it's just...",4 452,Okay.,4 453,"No, Barney, I said we're not watching this.",1 454,"No, I'm not. Listen, Gael, I need to talk to you about something.",4 455,I know.,1 456,Like you could possibly know that.,3 457,"Oh no, I think he'll resign. Sorry Maggie, I have to go stop him. (Lily comes out in pursuit of Marshall, leaving Maggie alone. A man turns to Maggie) Ted I had to leave the bar but it's good she is with Robin.",2 458,"I still don't get this. Why, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, do you want to ruin... Wait a minute. Who's the girl?",0 459,Teleconference. Now.,3 460,You invited me up to your apartment to "play Battleship." Is that not an internationally recognized term for sex?,0 461,"Sorry, Ranjit, but it is a ritual, and I back this beer. If you could put it in the car. I'll give you $ 50.",2 462,"Do not be nervous. We will sit down... It's that thing, whore?",4 463,I think that's just called a dog.,3 464,"Look, I don't know why you would possibly say yes to this, but would you want to grab a cup of coffee with me sometime? 20 minutes. I was such a jerk to you. You can spend the entire time calling me every dirty name in the book.",0 465,"Yeah, you do.",0 466,"Listen to this. You know, this fight? The guys were pretending.",3 467,"It's not what I say... but it's true. And suddenly, we argue as to who works the hardest.",3 468,Busted.,0 469,"Barney,you've clearly got some serious mother issues that have left you the emotional equivalent of a scavenging sewer rat. But, in my other apartment, I would be living with an actual scavenging sewer rat, so you win.",2 470,It was not.,4 471,"Wait, where is Maggie?",1 472,"This is the best time of my life, Marshall. What I feel in having no children? I have never thought something like it as much. That's why I created a public holiday. Now, today is "Day of Non-fathers."",0 473,So what you're saying is that you got the monkey trapped so you give him your wallet?,0 474,Of course not. I let another of your bitches spoil my memories.,2 475,"In the season's Super Bowl, but if they mean the Super Bowl. Go Vikings!",3 476,"Not you, Barney.",4 477,"Professor Lewis, hi.",3 478,"How did it happen? Huh? Barney, I want to know. Tell me exactly how it happened.",1 479,"One time I used warm water to make a guy pee. Of course, I didn't make a career out of it.",1 480,"What?! What? No! No! No, no, no. Marshall, no. No. I... I just saw that board of specials, and I thought, you know what sucks? Being bored. Which I am not. So that clears that... right up.",4 481,"Uh, yes. (Robin arrives) Yes, it does.",1 482,I understand. Zoey has magic lady bits.,0 483,I love you.,2 484,Nice.,4 485,No!,1 486,With him that Stella is gone. This film tells the story of our breakup.,1 487,"Maybe that smoking is not so bad, at least it is outdoors.",2 488,Yeah. Waking up for breakfast at 7:00 A.M....Sharp.,3 489,"Ted calls you? Indeed, he has a problem.",0 490,"Aw, man! Why?",4 491,"After that, they broke. Ted was totally depressed, and we waited the necessary time to tell him what we thought of it.",3 492,Everything here is dark and sketchy and seems illegal. It's like shopping in Barney's mind.,3 493,Great! Great! I Simulates-man!,3 494,"It's not the makeup! It is a sun cream with a subtle shade of... It is for men. It's good, I want my eyes stand out.",1 495,"Thank you, Ted.",0 496,"Yes, right away, and me is Marshall.",3 497,This is interesting.,0 498,Ted.,4 499,"Well, hi guys.",0 500,"Lily, I need a dress.",4 501,"Oh, OK, well I just wanted to say they're gorgeous and Ted's gonna love them.",4 502,"Uh, outlet. Thank you. Oh...",3 503,"Robin, I'm an attorney.",3 504,"Yes, you are. I don't wanna get married right now, maybe ever and if we got together I'd feel like I'd either have to marry you or break your heart and-I just couldn't do either of those things. Just like you can't turn off the way you feel.",4 505,As a vaginal rejuvenation?,1 506,Why hasn't she called yet?,1 507,"I know. I live with Marshall for 12 years. Every time I put something, it's a victory.",1 508,"Perfect. You see? Even in a role that you hate, you manage to love what you do.",4 509,"Nothing has changed, okay? I still want to help the environment. I just thought that maybe I could make some money for a few years. We could buy an apartment, send our kids to good schools. You could quit your job and focus on your painting. I know that you say you don't need it, but... I love you and I want to give it to you anyway. I want to give you the package.",3 510,"Yes, totally.",0 511,Mm-hmm.,1 512,A waste?,3 513,Yes!,4 514,Uh. Other cultures!,4 515,(Subtitle) "14"?,1 516,"No,actually I went with a friend from law school.",3 517,This is no time for laws!,0 518,"Barney, I don't like Ted. He's moved on, and I'm really happy for...",4 519,It's horrible. Why have a special room to turn people?,1 520,"If you fall in there, you break my heart, but sorry, you're sdébile.",4 521,"I do not know what it is, this shrew. Okay, she has boobs, but... In fact, I see.",0 522,"Okay, okay, no, no, we'll just start, you guys'll pick it up. Newbie goes first. Roll.",3 523,Judged. By nature.,3 524,And your feet maybe? I do not know the rules.,3 525,Really?,1 526,"It was! Oh, I love you funk legend George Clinton.",2 527,"Okay, first of all, you look like the last pick in the draft. And, second, why are you so excited about some bank?",1 528,"Yeah, all right. After a while, crocodile.",1 529,"Nice to meet you, Marshall. Guess we're hallmates.",2 530,"Yeah. I've been there, too. Every time I'm done having sex with a woman, at first,I never want to see her again. No, that's pretty much it.",0 531,"(from Robin's room) Hey, Ted, door five! Were you there?",0 532,"Yeah, well, honestly, I'm having trouble remembering what she looks like. The more I try to picture her, the more I can't. Like, I remember how she makes me feel. I just... I don't completely remember her. It's like I'm trying to preserve something that's already gone.",1 533,"Super! Thank you, Herm.",3 534,What?,4 535,"Okay, well, what I was saying is...",4 536,Criminals of New York! Attention! This man is wearing a diamond-covered suit! You could retire on the pants alone! Merry Christmas!,1 537,Hi.,4 538,"No! I wasn't. I was checking out the hot body underneath the shirt. Okay, look, maybe I was looking at your shirt, but it's a, it's a funny, funny shirt.",1 539,"Well, feel terrible later. Right now, we gotta fix this. Lily, you go down to the bar and comfort Claudia. Ted and I will go and try to talk some sense into Stuart.",3 540,: There's office material...,1 541,He's been drinking his milk.,3 542,What!?,2 543,I'm not any Blitz! You're The Blitz! You're all The Blitz! I slept with that cute Indian girl who cuts my hair!,0 544,"Wait, no, thing number two. The dress, we got a dress.",2 545,"Lily decided that once you have seen all the doubles, we try to have children.",3 546,"You're going blind, and you're trying to soak up all the beauty in the world before the darkness descends.",4 547,"No, it's not a problem. I'll do it.",1 548,And I forgive you. I love you.,0 549,"I don't know, I think I might need one last story to get me through it.",0 550,Oh well with the slight assist from the Wesleyan housing department.,2 551,"Barney, am I crazy? Marshall talks to his dad way too much, right?",2 552,"Oh, well, yeah, I'm bringing a date, so I'll be off the market.",1 553,It just means you're less than 0.5% was thought disgusting.,3 554,"Come here, you two.",2 555,"Come on, Ted, what do you say?",2 556,Shh!,0 557,"Damn it you guys, be psyched. Yes, we see each other every day, but i think it's going really well.",4 558,"Well look, the sun rises.",1 559,Right. Stay with me. We are on the cusp of moving from out-of-towners to in-their-pantsers. Ay-o?,0 560,Hello?,3 561,I got a great deal...,4 562,"How can I help you as your lawyer? You didn't break any laws, did you? Robin knows you slept with her, doesn't she?",3 563,For torturlute? You're right.,1 564,I don't know. Is it so ridiculous to think that you might be?,4 565,This is your masterpiece.,1 566,"Man, that guy is a total, well... (gestures to the building model)",2 567,No!,2 568,"Yes. Look, I've spent the last,six years in this city, focusing on my career, all for nothing. Some lady almost got me k*ll. Maury Povich stole my cab. I swear, this city is starting to reject me like a bad organ transplant. You know, everyone keeps saying that I'm not a real New Yorker. Well, maybe I should just stop trying.",4 569,Oh... You're a jerk.,2 570,From cold bl*od.,0 571,"It's like love letters, directories or the ashes of people.They take up space. In addition, she will let you not keep half your mess.",4 572,Thank you.,4 573,"Because I look good. Now focus, you and Marshall are roommates. You have an amazing apartment. Marshall and Lily just got engaged",0 574,"That's... a great name for a bar! And also, Puzzles: no nightcap.",1 575,"Dude, everyone sees Maury Povich.",2 576,"So, by that logic, if you and I were to, say, go out on a date.",1 577,"OK, Ted, go win the bet. You have my blessing. She's a wonderful girl. I should know.",0 578,"Now, you want to add a w*apon in this equation?",3 579,But the thing to do is-is tell him you've had enough.,1 580,It'll be fine. We'll be out of here in a jiff.,1 581,"Baby, there's something I have to do, and if I do it in front of you, it'll change the entire nature of our relationship.",2 582,I have to pee.,2 583,Fine.,3 584,"If by 'like the Loch Ness Monster,' you mean, totally exists and is awesome, then yeah, it's like the Loch Ness monster.",3 585,"Okay, you can be Robin's partner.",3 586,Stop.,1 587,"No, see ya. (evil laughs, sparks something in his hands) Ow.",0 588,"Me, too.",2 589,"Back in college, Ted and I used to take these crazy road trips from Connecticut all the way to Chicago just for Gazzola's pizza.",3 590,"Okay, Ted, the downside to having a woman's mouth is, your feminine pout gives away your true feelings. And yours is saying, "Oh, Zoey, why can't I be on top just this once?"",2 591,"Marshall stood here. Eating and yelling, yelling and eating. Lily stood here. Crying. (Ted takes a handkerchief on the bar of the kitchen)",1 592,"As if everything on your resume is so important?"Program Director, Radio Wesleyan University"?",4 593,No thank you.,4 594,"Falling in? ",1 595,"Um, hello, somebody already solved that crime using math, remember?",1 596,Let's go to your room. Far from it. And can be the whistle.,0 597,"OK, where was I? It was June 2006 and life had just taken an unexpected turn.",1 598,"You know, that was really cool what you did. When we all needed it, you got us back on the right path.",4 599,We get married on Sunday? It is sure to be ready for this?,1 600,I wish Marshall would call. I guess the circuits are jammed.,2 601,Resists sweetie!,2 602,Hmm.,3 603,Yes.,1 604,You're not a jackass. I'm sorry. I only moved here in April and I'm always working and-I just haven't met a lot of good people so far. But I understand.,4 605,Let's do all the stuff we talked about doing and never got around to.,1 606,That's one.,3 607,"And it rocks here, yo!",0 608,Lily!,3 609,"Plus, the alien thing.",0 610,"No. You're messing with me, right?",1 611,"Shh. Child, listen. If you're really hurting for it, I'd be more than happy to throw you one.",0 612,"What do you think guys? Beagle, or Boston terrier?",3 613,Simon. What are you doing here?,4 614,Just knock. Okay.,4 615,You see? It is useful.,1 616,I promise.,1 617,"Barney, we know that you are going you may get fired. Wait, you ought to speak. You turn away from reality, kissing unnecessarily on all sides.",2 618,Or just the pants?,4 619,"Yes, we know.",2 620,"I wanted to join a club that I left three days later, because the clubs are stupid and elitist. And I also discovered that it was not a club.",3 621,Ready for what?,1 622,"Hello, Arthur.",2 623,Foreign Correspondent. I... moved to Japan.,4 624,"I'm not done. So, your dad stays to finish his drink, but I take off because I have to be up early for Mass with your mom.",0 625,"You guys haven't had sex yet!!?? When Marshall and I were two months, we were doing it 24/7.",2 626,"Great, so let's flip for it.",1 627,"What are you doing to me, man. I got a paper to write.",3 628,I know you're upset.,0 629,I think he just spat on me.,2 630,Anything.,1 631,You're my sister.,1 632,I got this.,4 633,"Shit. Okay, put a microphone.",4 634,This makeup has one month to go. I met with parents of Lily. I have never looked so stupid.,3 635,This is the permission I needed.,3 636,What?,1 637,He came by my place tonight...,4 638,It's not very hygienic.,1 639,"I want to eat your brain, but only if it is organic and free range.",3 640,Not a bit.,2 641,And this guy So what con.,2 642,It's almost 2am. I must work.,4 643,"Well. Well, this could actually be fun. In fact, I believe it was Oscar Wilde who said, "Man is least himself when he talks..."",1 644,"Oh, um, Ted, this is Sandy.",4 645,"I want... to take this burger out to dinner, then maybe a movie, then take it back to my place, put on a little Terence Trent D'arby, and then I would just... fool around a little bit. Nothing serious, just take it slow, you know?",0 646,"Dammit, I have to see her again.",1 647,I really gonna have to bring my A-game to satisfy this woman.,1 648,This is insane. Has Lily even worn half this stuff?,1 649,"Dude, that is just like... a weenie ass idea.",3 650,I'm so glad you have to go to your parents' next weekend.,1 651,And there's kids playing hockey on the back. It's like you want us to make fun of you.,0 652,Really?,0 653,Who would I even scream at?,3 654,Why? They will do anything q'ils learn that I am...,4 655,"And now it's time for "Puppy Corner," some little angels looking for a new home, courtesy of the Midtown Animal Shelter.",4 656,"Come on, Lily.",1 657,"Man, Vampire Lou just looks great.",3 658,"Oh, what's done is done.",2 659,Exactly!,1 660,"No, you hang up.",1 661,"Marshall, no.",2 662,"Wow, that was really specific.",3 663,"And I drank... a lot. So you guys think I should have kissed her? Well, I'll tell you what, I'm gonna go kiss her right... now.",1 664,"No, it's not like that. We're juicing as friends. See, I have this girlfriend, I would never cheat on her. She lives in Germany. See, she was supposed to call me four hours ago to have a serious talk. I still haven't heard from her. I don't know. Sorry to bug you with my problems. Guess cab drivers are the new bartenders, huh?",1 665,No. I-I swore you to secrecy on that.,1 666,Really? Cool.,3 667,You know what? We'll see later.,0 668,I'm going to be a marine biologist... Slam poet... Beekeeper! Not a beekeeper.,2 669,I have not hated.,4 670,What are you doing?,4 671,I agree. You've seen one called The Snåsa?,3 672,"Thank you, girls.",2 673,"I mean, we knew we were gonna have fun tonight, but we had no idea how much.",0 674,Finish him!,3 675,Your business is already in my apartment.,0 676,Jerome Jr...? Oh. He's... he's named after you. Excuse me.,0 677,"One, two, three, four, five.",1 678,"Captain, quick question: How do you feel about the Jonas Brothers? Ooh.",4 679,Carpet Biercules! Yeah!,3 680,"OK, I should get going. I got a date.",4 681,You've only had sex with one girl in your whole life.,1 682,"No, Ted, I don't. And you know what? That's okay. I don't plan out every second of my life like you do.",4 683,Absolutely.,2 684,"Ah, didn't compliment. Just observed.",3 685,"Baby, it's lunch and I love you.",2 686,I can Woo.,2 687,"Oh, we know you do, honey, but we're worried about you.",2 688,"No, he remains a. "The beer funnel. "",0 689,You were a real assh*le to Robin when she was in her period of mourning.,1 690,Yes.,0 691,"Right on. Hey, you want to go play Battleship?",4 692,Why are you trying to destroy American Thanksgiving?!,2 693,"Ted, hurry, you gotta help me. My boat is sinking.",0 694,But this reporter takes pride in...,4 695,I see.,0 696,"Marshall forgot his pants, so I brought him one.",2 697,No. No way. I promise myself to the NRDC. I'm not that kind of lawyer.,3 698,What are you doing?,1 699,Candy.,3 700,"Marshall, your zipper.",2 701,"No, but we haven't, because I want to keep some of the mystery alive.",2 702,Take him to the vet?,4 703,They are? Are you sure?,1 704,"Look, I understand you to be upset but this is not a reason to k*ll you.",1 705,On a silver platter! Bon appetite!,0 706,Ooh! Duck! That is sick! Why would you do that?,3 707,"Yeah, you, too. If you're ever in New York.",1 708,"I know. I'm so psyched we did this. Look at all these people, giving up their Thanksgiving to help their fellow man. These have got to be the best people in New York.",1 709,Yum!,0 710,This is an annual gala that honors the greatest architects of the city?,4 711,"I said "almost." All those things happened after 2:00 a.m. because after 2:00 a.m. is when things get-- audience, say it with me-- legendary.",0 712,"Hey, just real quick... (the girl pepper-sprays him, he writhes in pain) you wanna marry my friend Ted?",3 713,Dude!,3 714,What is the purpose then?,1 715,Why?,1 716,Getting that kid's nose surgically removed from your ass.,2 717,"No, but I do have a hug.",0 718,This is where the story gets really good. So it goes...,4 719,What it's related to your job as mistress?,1 720,You're dirty. It is you who should be in the sink.,2 721,No.,1 722,Okay. So it wasn't entirely a peaceful moment of closure.,4 723,I'm so glad we finally get to hang out just the two of us!,2 724,"Dude, it's a barrel!",4 725,So... you want to get pizza later? Or...,4 726,"Ted, the only reason to wait a month for sex is if the girl is 17 years, 11 months old.",0 727,"Not now, Ted!",3 728,You will not believe who we saw tonight.,0 729,"No, I did not...",1 730,For free.,4 731,Welcome to my humble abode.,0 732,You can't keep saying you have one rule if they're always different rules.,1 733,Are you jealous?,2 734,Your nails?,0 735,Guess we're not.,1 736,Emily.,3 737,Your own line of handbags? That's crazy.,0 738,"Mistake number 3, dude, where was the hat? Cause if you're not going to wear it, I'm taking it back.",3 739,Just look at that eye. You look like a bad boy. I did not know you had it in me. You. That you had it in you.,4 740,"It's a long story. As you know, my father had to leave my mother when I was a baby because he became presenter of the Just Price.",0 741,"You know what? Instead of coming with references typical last minute like that, you should spend some time, I dunno... washing a dish.",4 742,"Good. Good, I think it'll be really good for the family. By the way, how's Grandma? She hasn't returned my last couple calls.",1 743,Manos: Hands of Fate.,1 744,"You've known about this for two and a half years? So every time you've talked about wanting to be an environmental lawyer since then, that was a lie.",2 745,Parents?,1 746,(staring at turkey) Oh my.,2 747,"Well, Derek and I just broke up.",4 748,"No way. The last time I did this, the girl turned out to be engaged.",1 749,Count again.,0 750,"Okay, fine... what, you want me to yell at you?",3 751,That's not bad.,1 752,"So, what happened next?",2 753,Couldn't you have gone before we left?,1 754,They love each other.,2 755,"You want us to go over there right now and say to those girls, 'daddy's home.' Really think about that, Barney.",1 756,Why would you even say that?! It's the most ridic...,1 757,"Lesson three, don't even think about getting married till your thirty. And lesson four, be totally silent for the next five minutes.",0 758,"Yes, why not.",2 759,"Ooh, 'plus one', you make it sound so romantic. Ted: Fine. You wanna be my date?",4 760,I come from the grave of my wife. I buried her there was just one year. I miss her. I need comfort.,0 761,"Oh, God, totally!",4 762,"Hi, Marshall. Ready for the film?",2 763,A friend of mine in Canada got married way too young and it really turned her off to marriage.,4 764,That's not true.,2 765,No.,3 766,And...,0 767,Wow. I just realized something.,4 768,And it does not stop there. We argue non-stop since.,0 769,A rain dance.,1 770,Marshall?,0 771,Half the time the relationship.,2 772,So Closed is open.,3 773,"Um, he speaks perfect English.",1 774,"Well, that explains where Barney is.",1 775,It's fine.,3 776,What? I... There's no g-girl. Why would you even... Her name is Zoey.,1 777,"No. Sit down, define the relationship, write down that definition on a piece of paper, slip it under the door, and if I like what I read, you can go.",2 778,"Boy, this sure is another table. What are we talking?",0 779,Stop!,0 780,"It was cool, huh?",3 781,"No, thanks. I think I figured out what I want to be when I grow up.",2 782,Could we get the check please. We're trying to make a movie in 15 seconds.,1 783,"Well, I'm pretty drunk. Look, I know that odds are the love of my life isn't going to magically walk through that door in a pumpkin costume at 2:43 in the morning but it seems as nice a spot as any to just, you know, sit and wait.",1 784,"Hey, guys. Thanks. Hey. I just had the best first day at the NRDC.",3 785,"Thus, if she's this crazy, she has to be this hot.",0 786,"Hey, Ted, if I, um, if I ever get married and you're not the guy I'm marrying...",4 787,Who is Dr. X?,4 788,What? You're my wife. You can tell me anything.,0 789,You slept with Robin?,3 790,"Oh, God! don't slap me again! I don't want to get slapped again, and the first two times hurt so bad, I don't like it! I don't like it one bit!",0 791,I was winning?,1 792,"I don't know, i guess Wendy the Waitress brought it to him.",1 793,I'm so sorry.,1 794,"Oh, I'm sure there is. Just like I have a friend who wet his bed till he was ten. Use your brain, Ted.",3 795,Captain. I...,1 796,Sorry about your guy.,1 797,"Speaking of easy, bridesmaids, Ted. Bridesmaids.",0 798,"Wow, two in a row, Barney is thoroughly.",2 799,That's it!,3 800,"As Lily's best friend, you are the last person on the planet o's allowed to turn into a mermaid.",3 801,thank you God.,0 802,"Ted, this is new york city... You're never gonna drive it. This is a really, really stupid purchase, and I'm sorry, but none of us can support it. g*n for eternity!",0 803,"Of course, for you. You had it turned into a zombie of andouille.",2 804,"Okay, I start again. She exaggerates, there, right?",1 805,"It's sad for your father, Robin, but congratulations for this game.",3 806,"Come on. I know Bob Barker's not really... you know. I'm not crazy. I just... I needed that. I know it may sound stupid, but I didn't always feel so great about myself growing up, and so having a celebrity dad made me feel special. But you're right, James. It's time to let go of the fantasies. It's time to grow up.",0 807,Thanks Ted.,4 808,What happened?,2 809,No you couldn't.,1 810,What? You say anything. A friend can not clean the apartment of another friend like friends do?,0 811,A week? That's like-a year in hot girl time. She'll forget all about you. Mark my words: you will never see that one again.,0 812,"Lily, you were right. All that crap was right. So, no. No, we can't get back together. We shouldn't. At least, not right now.",3 813,Ted Calls. I want to go.,0 814,OK.,2 815,I'm sorry about your girl.,4 816,The emotional baggage is the foundation of American cultural export the most important.,0 817,"But if he did, you would love all the same. And to be honest, you do not love to come across a video of him running down the street naked shouting, "Hey, Marshall, look at me! I have a stalactite on the head! "",2 818,"To hit me and slam me all night? I swear, as soon as you fall asleep, it looks like it push you arms. One would think sleeping with an Indian goddess.",3 819,"So I was talking to her last night. And, I should tell you, we've been talking on the phone every other night for, like, an hour and a half. Eventually you just run out of stuff to say.",1 820,"Is that all? Come on, you're always in costume.",4 821,You know Robots vs. Wrestlers?,0 822,Dibs were implied.,1 823,You can tell us. This is a secure area.,0 824,"But those things coming out of his head, those were antennae",2 825,It was the only think I could think of.,4 826,Your feelings are quite natural.,3 827,Posititochadochmecochepopocha.,3 828,Well. I have to have a job.,4 829,"All right, fine. Guess it'll just be me and Zoey.",1 830,"Just a bunch of drunk, sloppy idiots, fresh off a night of partying in the city, just desperate to hook up with anything that moves.",2 831,"Hey, are-are you sure it's okay with Zoey that you're here for Valentine's Day?",3 832,Where's Mike?,2 833,"I love your painting, I just... I'm trying to be realistic.",3 834,"That's the one, Mr. Philbin. Do you remember where it is?",3 835,"No, the answer is Elton John. Question two: "What the hell is this?"",0 836,"No, no, I love it so much. It just keeps ringing and ringing and ringing. Give it, give it.",1 837,"We called a truce, we hugged, and when I tried to pull away, you kept your hand on my neck.",1 838,Of course.,0 839,"Ted, what is wrong with you?",3 840,"I know, I know.",3 841,"Yeah, um...",2 842,"I hit Ted and me, so...",0 843,"Ranjit, screw Gregor's. Let's go to Coney Island.",3 844,"Okay, that's it! You and me! I'm not afraid of you!",0 845,"Okay, I just found out...",3 846,Anyone not in class tomorrow gets an "F.",1 847,Your real age.,0 848,"Yes, nice and called Ted Mosby.",2 849,I don't know. Maybe her? Or her.,0 850,"I love you. Uh, no. N-not right...",0 851,A problem?,2 852,"It's just that... I have never heard of this before Jillian, and suddenly, it's your best friend. You do not stop talking about her.",4 853,Lawyered. Robin?,3 854,"Dude, I'm kind of in the zone here.",4 855,What?,0 856,Damn. Swisher is back in play Swisher is back in play!,3 857,That's not an expression! That has never been an expression!,3 858,I like my teachers.,1 859,"Sure. I mean, even though we stopped having sex, we still get together, like, once a month to chat and catch up, and of course I'm not in touch with her!",0 860,Sorry to have run away like that.,1 861,Did we just start planning our wedding?,2 862,Marshall Eriksen. Nice to meet you.,3 863,Not now.,2 864,It's not stiny water bottle. Notice the label is peed off.,1 865,This is stupid.,3 866,"Yes, but you can not!",3 867,And we're here.,3 868,It's 'cause I used to practice all the time on my grandmother.,1 869,No fries for this guy.,4 870,I know what you did back there.,1 871,"(mouths) Hi, I'm Ted (Robin takes the beer to the table. Ted watches her while the Cute Girl talks to him. Robin looks back. Smiles. Ted engages into a conversation)

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(He looks at Robin, picking her teeth) Okay, I'm better now.",3 905,"Forget it. It really is not class. At best, it sucks.",0 906,Define "serious".,1 907,"You're doing it, Marvin.",1 908,You and The Arcadian are ruining my life! What?,1 909,Shit.,0 910,your best to not cry when Big came to Carrie at the end of the film Sex and the City?,0 911,"Well, I received another.",3 912,That was you?,1 913,"Okay, here we go.",3 914,"I have. I left her, like, 20 messages. I said, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. It's all Ted's fault!"",3 915,"Oh, bye-bye.",3 916,You been here before?,1 917,I can hear yours?,1 918,Natalya.,0 919,Oh. Ha-wink,0 920,"I'll get us something to eat, and we'll talk about it until it is clear.",3 921,You see? Are you afraid of Becca. Lily is afraid of Gazeur. (Marshall head out from under the table) are still under the table.,1 922,"Marshall, look!",2 923,I just said I don't like Chinese.,0 924,Good luck k*ll James Bond. (Zoey takes Ted away) Are we allowed in here?,1 925,"I mean I stand by what I did, Ted.",2 926,You can not b*at A.C. Pity! Nobody needs to know.,0 927,I know what you mean.,4 928,"All right, fine. Set it up.",1 929,No.,3 930,The problem is that the distributor...,1 931,"Who, me?",1 932,"Yikes! I'm surrounded by a bunch of dum-dums. Good thing I don't have any gaps in my knowledge. I am perfect. Oh, for the love of God, guys, enough already.",3 933,What about animals?,1 934,"Sir, the fact is that...",3 935,I got this.,4 936,"Hi. Hello. Uh, we need a marriage license, but we need to skip the waiting period because... We're in love.",3 937,"You wanna talk drop? I described as the perfect guy "funny, intelligent, passionate, ambitious." And apparently, I just... "In my apartment." You thought that you would have understood, now?",4 938,"They sit there with their stupid bottles. They cry. They vomit. That's why babies, it sucks.",4 939,Oh! Call an ambulance!,0 940,"A Pringles, but still.",0 941,He's 41! Why are you bashing on him so hard?,4 942,So don't answer it.,4 943,(V.O.) It was that summer I lived in San Francisco. I hadn't had been with Marshall since two months and 19 days. (There is a shock. And Lily likes the sensation which that gets her.),2 944,"Hey, uh, come on in.",1 945,"Baby, birds can get caught in those and then they dwown in a sea of wubbish! Weren't you listening? Don't you care about Garbage Island?",3 946,I... leaned into it?,4 947,"You're not serious, my students are going to catch me so I do them a lesson. I have not even my slide projector.",1 948,Yeah. Somebody did just quit.,1 949,"You know, over at the NRDC, it's a bunch of really committed people who take their job of saving the earth very, very seriously. Which is great, and everything, but I can't imagine having this much fun over there.",3 950,"Not so loud, shit.",4 951,"So, I find her shampoo. I guess she left it here. It smells like her. Like lavender and seashells. Hope. Somehow erotic and comforting all at the same time.",3 952,"I'll just, uh, take this down to the lab. (He wants to take the wonderbra. Robin grab it from him).",0 953,Yeah. That argument has no traction whatsoever.,4 954,I can not believe it. I need another drink.,1 955,"Robin, no one watches the news unless it's a car chase or a nip slip. You are now a professional scotch taster. Lily, Jerry needs to learn that other lifestyles are just as fulfilling as monogamy, so now you and Marshall are in an open marriage.",0 956,"I see. Between you and me, i'm also interested in this apartment. So is there any way i could come back later and check it out while you'rte showing them other places?",0 957,"Oh, I-I don't know. I threw them down the garbage chute. Let's just use the handcuffs instead.",2 958,Nope!,0 959,"It's just, this is a really good parking spot.",1 960,"Barney, it was awful. I was teaching...",1 961,Really? And who watered the philodendron on your bookcase and sang it back to life?,1 962,"Oh, a cradle list.",2 963,Finally.,2 964,How am I supposed to see that's a five?,0 965,"Yes, yes.",3 966,So what time are we leaving for Gazzola's tomorrow?,3 967,We're building an igloo in Central Park. It's gonna be legendary. Snow suit up!,0 968,"What about me? I got so fat, at the end of a date, you'd unhook my bra.",0 969,Have fun.,1 970,"I know. For whatever reason, Mr. Druthers just doesn't see it.",1 971,We kept trying to have the talk and then we realized we hate the talk.,4 972,It makes sense. Do not say anything.,1 973,"Put it there, guys.",0 974,"Oh, I see what happens. That's about all that history of strong and weak.",2 975,Yes.,1 976,There's one for awesomeness?,3 977,I hate my job.,4 978,"Yes, it is.",0 979,"Oh, God here we go. He had a detective club as a kid.",4 980,"Mmm... Oh, oh, oh... Yeah...",2 981,Me begging Marshall to take me back and him rejecting me?,2 982,Damn!,3 983,"I still have it. I know exactly where it is, and I can go get it whenever I want.",4 984,"Yes. This is our first Thanksgiving. 30 years from now, we're going to look at the photos and say, "Oh, there's the four people I love most in the world... and Bob."",2 985,I arrive.,1 986,Of course I will.,1 987,"Yeah, I know who you are.",1 988,Thank you! (They hug),2 989,I'm goanna go kiss her. Right now.,1 990,"Yeah, and I disagree with Barney. Just 'cause this guy is spending a lot of money doesn't mean you have to put out. Take it slow, Robin, take it slow. Slow.",1 991,"Barney, you're not at your therapist. These children also have their problems, you know. Ben's parents divorced.",2 992,"Oh, I can't, I'm taking Victoria out for dinner.",1 993,You think so?,4 994,"Me too. She speaks little, but that thing with his father gave him much trouble.",1 995,"It could be sooner, we're not that careful with our birth control Two-zip.",3 996,"What took you so, one time!",4 997,"Okay, yes, Judy and I aren't besties, but today, whatever she needs, I'm there. I'm on Judy duty.",2 998,"Marshall, I'm your best man.",0 999,Robin never deleted Don's number.,2 1000,You must order more food?,3 1001,We can b*at the odds.,1 1002,"On Monday, I'm gonna have to tell my kindergarten class who I teach not to run with scissors that my fiancé ran me through with a frickin' broad sword.",2 1003,I'm guessing you haven't always had this rule.,1 1004,"Come on, Brad, that's... Wow, There's really six of them. But, I can't.",4 1005,"(going on the stage) Lily!

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F.D. » Transcripts » TV & Movie Transcripts » H » How I Met Your Mother



She come over Ted and Barney's table) Hey. 'Sup, dudes? Fries?",4 1012,"Before being your best friend, what was she? That's it. One of my random sluts.",1 1013,12 of them.,0 1014,Direct. I like that. The name's Barney. What I want... is you.,0 1015,"Let it go. And who gets trapped under a fake boulder at the mall? Ted: Not me in Ohio when I was nine, that's for sure.",4 1016,"Oh, I like the way you say that. Hey, you want to see the building that will make every man in Spokane feel inadequate?",1 1017,"Yeah, I mean, all... yeah.",2 1018,All the things you do when you know where the next ten thousand lays are coming from.,0 1019,One important thing to remember when designing a bridge.,1 1020,"Come on, Barney, I'm sure they've talked about who gets the apartment. You talked about who gets the apartment, right?",4 1021,You want me to go to a wedding with you?,3 1022,I can do it alone.,2 1023,Wait... Don't... all leave! Architecture's fun! Look! I brought a hacky sack!,1 1024,You should be more delicate with Stella about Robin.,2 1025,"Baby, you can do the dishes?",2 1026,"So, are you gonna talk to Marshall?",4 1027,"So, after the shower, I was brushing my teeth, and I was like, oh man, I wanted to have some orange juice, I should have done that first, but I already had the toothpaste on the toothbrush so I just went ahead and brushed them anyway.",3 1028,"Okay. No. See, look, that all sounds good, and we'll still be friends and move on, but..., did he have to be so hot? The guy's an Adonis.",1 1029,"Yeah, we'll call you.",4 1030,Shut up...,4 1031,"Really rich"?,0 1032,"...no no no, you can't spell game without me, and me has the best game.",0 1033,Or a stove in your bathroom?,4 1034,"Robin, this is the biggest celebrity event of the year. In taking a girl at the ball, man, you reached third base. Whatever the girl I invite, it will be the steady girlfriend of Ted Mosby by the end of the evening. Ok, we stop to sit between two chairs. Robin, bring me my notebook. It's time to make lists of pros and cons.",1 1035,The same thing happened at the pet store yesterday.,0 1036,"You are truly the best friend Ted. And me too. Tie.Thank you, Marshall.",0 1037,Hi.,0 1038,"Oh, no! That means the poor guy's out there with no identification.",3 1039,"Well, I don't know if she is. It's still so early, but yeah, she could be.",1 1040,Ted?,0 1041,Can I borrow your copy?,1 1042,"Bring it on, Princess.",1 1043,"Come on, I know it didn't work out between us, but we did... have a relationship.",0 1044,"Yeah, sorry.",3 1045,"It's gonna be 10,002 Maniacs, because I have tickets to Natalie Merchant...",1 1046,(on TV) What?,4 1047,"Yeah, merguez. My mother's marinated in beer for 2 days. That's it. It's weird, I could have sworn that what those big, succulent smoked sausages had writing on it. Bizarre.You were saying?",3 1048,"Hang on a second. "A half million dollar fine "any time Mr. Stinson can't 'rise to the occasion,' cue sad slide whistle sounds"?",0 1049,I have no idea. (it knocks again),3 1050,Guys! I just tasted an amazing caterer.,0 1051,I work harder than anyone in my division.,3 1052,"Marshall, right now, I don't give a wat's ass about Garbage Island.",2 1053,"So, Barney, who's your new friend?",1 1054,Hello.,4 1055,"You know, if you had just called me, I...",1 1056,"Robin, we must do together.",1 1057,What?,4 1058,"Hey, I will hate her until I get my money back for You, Me and Dupree!",2 1059,My camping trip got rained out.,4 1060,I know. It's weird.,0 1061,Daniel Burnham was an architect whose ever-shifting style and aesthetic made him a true architectural chamma-leeon. And only the most gifted chamma-leeon could've designed classic beaux arts masterpieces right alongside sleek modern flatirons. His name might as well have been Daniel Chamma-leeon.,1 1062,I don't think so.,1 1063,More...,0 1064,"Well, I went up to Lily's floor...",3 1065,That might be it. There may be too great there.,4 1066,Go to that French-Vietnamese place we keep passing and say we want to try?,1 1067,"You're right. I-If you and Zoey are happy, then who am I to judge? I'm so sorry.",2 1068,Mosbius Designs.,1 1069,"Oh, it was. I feel like the Robin who left is not the same Robin who came back, you know.",4 1070,I understand. "Ack-Ted. "I understood.,1 1071,How important it is for you...,1 1072,"It is not a company. It is a collective. ",1 1073,"And the worst thing is, tomorrow morning I have to walk into Arthur's office and give him the ninja report.",3 1074,"Hi. Um, I got some vegetables. I got carrots, I got beets.",1 1075,"I loved Pee Wee basketball. Well, until they kicked me off the team... I was so awesome, the coach asked me to quit because it wasn't fair to the other kids.",0 1076,Guess now we wait.,2 1077,How did you know that I would be here today?,1 1078,"me, too.",1 1079,"Marrying? I have something even more special in mind. Petra, if all goes well, will be my... wait, my 200th! Can not wait. Too exciting.",0 1080,This is my favorite book of madrigals.,1 1081,"What? You know what you're doing down there. Oh, Teddy Westside can bring it. We know this.",4 1082,"And then when those guys pounded the stuffing out of you, I thought, "Yeah, Canada's pretty cool, too." I may have taken a few pokes myself. So, I've decided, dual citizenship. I'm going to be American and Canadian.",4 1083,"Eh, you sometimes like to do a little catch and release.",0 1084,I never played any team sports,4 1085,"At the second she sits next to Swisher, we reach the end.",1 1086,"Wait, you're really going out with a billionaire?",1 1087,"Oh, yeah. That's who I hate. Guys, we hate Kate Hudson.",2 1088,Bye.,1 1089,What?,1 1090,You have the? This is the smallest!,0 1091,"Oh, Captain... don't blame yourself.",1 1092,"Ted, she's leaving.",3 1093,Where are you going?,1 1094,We're breaking up? But what about the Peace Corps?,0 1095,"OK, great, rule number one no eye patches or props of any...",1 1096,"Ted Mosby is solid as a rock." No. "Dependable." No. "Rugged." No.,1 1097,"The friends, follow me! (They leave) Look! The fifth double.",2 1098,I bought a motorcycle!,3 1099,We won!,2 1100,"Really? The last time I overcame a background, it was that of a certain Stella, and, damn, I draw a blank. How did it end?",1 1101,Is this lame?,0 1102,"Guys, this is Garrison Cootes.",3 1103,I don't want a girl. I just want a little boy.,3 1104,"Fine, I'll take it back.",1 1105,Canadian Thanksgiving celebrates explorer martin frobisher's valiant yet ultimately unsuccessful attempt to find the northwest passage.,4 1106,We don't want any of that. Just your basic quickie wedding will be fine.,3 1107,What happened?,1 1108,"To achieve the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn is what you need, basic knowledge in web design and a truly unique fake name. So think about your fake name right away. You? Fine.Now choose your target. (It is now at the bar) Preferably a girl with a great big... phone. (He approaches the counter Shelly installed) Yeah that's me.",0 1109,"No... Hmm. What could she mean when she says 'no'? I don't know, it is totally cryptic.",4 1110,I'm in a world of amnesia with lots of pictures of my son and an alliance. I will find the best woman / woman and we will...,0 1111,You guys take care of me. You guys are the best. I love you guys so much.,1 1112,Really. We sat down. We had the talk. Barney's my boyfriend now.,4 1113,Robin Mosby!,1 1114,That is a lie!,0 1115,What the hell happened to these two?,0 1116,"Good, cause this thing's empty.",3 1117,I'm one of the lucky few.,2 1118,"Come on, go out with him.",1 1119,A little bit.,2 1120,"Let me call you back. Honey, there's a situation developing. Do you remember the huge secret that you told me that you weren't supposed to but you did? The thing... about Robin?",3 1121,What? I panicked!,1 1122,"Wait, where are you... That's a compliment. You are the least needy woman I've ever met-- that's awesome. I mean, no guy's gonna say "Who's your daddy?" to Robin Scherbatsky. You're your own daddy. And mommy. And weird survivalist uncle who lives in a cabin with a g*n blaming stuff on the government. And that is what makes you the most... amazing, strong... independent woman I've ever banged.",0 1123,"Only if we bet on it, Marshall!",1 1124,"Wow, set it up.",1 1125,They want you even more. So they increased their offer by 10%. Congratulations. Looks like you'll have to stay.,0 1126,"Ted's still coming to this thing, right?",4 1127,"See, now you went too far in the other...",1 1128,You heard me. You got attacked by a monkey. You want to go to the issuance of Robin because you're afraid of being ridiculous.,0 1129,But I'm in a hurry. I can give it to you?,2 1130,We just snuck in the back.,1 1131,You suck!,2 1132,But the worst... the worst... it was the end. They are to marry...,1 1133,"TED! TED WAIT-GET FRENCH ONION. (Closes door) Can you believe this guy, I got a paper to write. (Lily smiles) Okay, fine-(they walk into the bedroom) but it's gotta be like super quick.",3 1134,I'll never see him out of friendship for you.,4 1135,It's a good guy.,4 1136,"This is Don. It's not us. Our new way to sleep is only going to get closer. Now, get out of my bed.",3 1137,Lily. (hands her the phone). No. No! (Barney grabs his neck) Aaaargh.,3 1138,"I'm telling you, you should use the architect angle with the ladies.",0 1139,It works!,0 1140,"Ted, it's Robin.",4 1141,Where?,1 1142,Beer.,3 1143,"Damn it Ted, i've worked out this whole thing where the golden rule is "love thy neighbor", ok?... Now the golden rule is "love thy neigbor". But, there's one rule above it: the platinum rule: "never ever, ever, ever, love thy neighbor."",0 1144,"Hey, Ranjit, pull over.",0 1145,"Hello, we're home!",3 1146,Kind of.,1 1147,You're fired.,1 1148,It really stops.,2 1149,You must tell your story with Stella Royce. It will be released at one time or another.,2 1150,Totally.,0 1151,"(On Machine) Maybe we should just, call it a day? But you're awesome. Okay, bye. (Hangs up)",1 1152,"Where's the poop, Robin?",2 1153,"That's all of them. Okay. Stay calm. Let's think this through. One of the girls who I lied to, seduced and abandoned is trying to ruin my life. Shouldn't be too hard to figure out which one it is. Oh, dear God!",0 1154,How can you guarantee that?,2 1155,"How much is a coffee today, $ 50? And here we go.",0 1156,That of Punchy.,0 1157,"The match. The Vikings were 2 minutes to go to the Super Bowl, when our striker, who had not missed a year's messed up a penalty and we lost in overtime. Damn!",3 1158,Booger.,0 1159,"Dude, you're talking to the kid.",3 1160,"Okay, can we skip this part, please?",3 1161,Carpet Biercules! Yeah!,3 1162,That's good.,3 1163,""... you better drive a camaro or a super van. This is priority numero uno. And your ponytail should happen to you at the knees. You can always dunk course and change your name to "Vanilla Thunder". Your wife, girlfriend, 1m80, a great body and take care of yourself. "",3 1164,Are you okay?,2 1165,"Wait, you mean that hawaiian place where they wear those embarrassing outfits?",1 1166,And when we missed the penalty and lost...,4 1167,Shut up.,4 1168,"Auditing"?,4 1169,Complimenting the odors and their collection of needle-point geese.,2 1170,"You said "not altogether, doll?"",2 1171,What?,0 1172,"It's a travesty. It's gonna define the skyline of the city. If it was me, I could've designed something amazing. Instead, I'm spending 12 hours a day designing the cornices.",1 1173,"Look, think of it this way: you get to hear your dad's voice one last time.",1 1174,"That, my friend, is the Dominator 8000, the best bullwhip on the market, according to my whip guy. Yeah, I have a whip guy.",0 1175,And here's a few of his contributions to architecture and now... We remember him for just one thing. My friends this is the sad legacy of Gregorio... Franchetti Gazibo. Questions?,1 1176,"Tell me, other girls in your class have the dancer's hip?",4 1177,Being around Ted.,0 1178,Internet footage of a guy getting hit in the nuts.,1 1179,"No, I can see out of my left eye again.",0 1180,"Peace talks in the region have been described as, "productive." Becky?",4 1181,"I don't know, Barney. I mean, sometimes persistence pays off. I said "yes" eventually.",4 1182,"Well, you're right--",4 1183,"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Big Fudge. "With"? I am not "with" Nora. Wrong preposition. Later tonight I'm hoping to be on Nora, right? Or under Nora, right? Or, we're all adults, I'll just say it... behind Nora.",0 1184,Do you know what I had to do to will myself to show up every day?,3 1185,"Lesson two, get a suit. Sutis are cool. Exhibit A.",0 1186,"I hate to say it, buddy, but you're kinda' irrelevant.",1 1187,"Sometimes, yes, to protect them.",3 1188,"Not again. Come on, dude, we all know how this movie ends. Ted falls in love. Love kicks Ted in the sprouts. Roll credits.",3 1189,"Great. Wait, what?",1 1190,"I felt absolutely powerless. Flaccid... Hell, I... I felt castrated.",3 1191,"It puts you in the mash, then. Your only hope is to be negative.",2 1192,It turns people here.,3 1193,"Sorry, you're right. She did not like anyway. She said it woke her up. Does she said "But um" so often?",0 1194,"I don't want to do anything. Don't tell anyone about this, okay?",0 1195,Oops.,4 1196,Rule number one: purely physical relationship. There are no feelings.,1 1197,"Oh, it's actually a common thing. When you're around someone from your past, you kind of revert back to who you were when you knew them. There's not really a name for it, though.",1 1198,"Blah, blah, blah, I'm an architect. Blah, blah, blah, I don't wear suits. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.",1 1199,"Yes, we do, but you know what we say? "I hit that.""I got some.""I tapped it." "I squeezed those." Discreet and efficient.",3 1200,"Okay, that's good. Well, I invented the last, but everything else, I swear it was true. Come on, man. Your mother is a cougar.",0 1201,"Ted, screaming never solves anything.",0 1202,What?,1 1203,Nothing good ever...,1 1204,"Great. So not only did you guys betray me, but you broke my oven on Thanksgiving?",1 1205,"Come on, come on. Make me a baby. I'm ready. Hey, look. The types of the other building make me cuckoo. Hello, gentlemen! We will make a baby!",2 1206,"Oh, geez.",4 1207,"But you never missed Robots vs. Wrestlers. It happens that way. First Robin us loose, and now you? And for those pretentious snobs and old game?",0 1208,$ 25!,1 1209,Hmm.,1 1210,This is so exciting. Right now there's some out there who has no idea that tonight they're going home with just... just the best barrel.,3 1211,Happy to have you helped you remember.,3 1212,Whoa. Guess we were gone a while.,1 1213,500 bucks?,1 1214,And a little Scottish.,1 1215,Still going strong?,2 1216,"Okay. You want to, uh... go on a a two-minute date with me?",1 1217,Several reasons.,3 1218,"Come on, I insist.",1 1219,"No, he went to see green day.",4 1220,Great. I'll put the paints away. You just go show him.,2 1221,Sit down or buffet.,1 1222,Don't do this Ted.,0 1223,He's coming upstairs!,2 1224,yeah!,4 1225,I'll pretend to be the girl that you're hitting on.,4 1226,"Oh, honey.",3 1227,"Come on, Mary, there's no one else around. You're a hooker.",1 1228,Let's go back to party number one.,3 1229,"Robin! Robin. (Waves her left hand ridiculously to show that she has no ring. Robin walks over) Hey, I'm over here.",2 1230,"Come on, baby. please, no. You don't understand. What have I done? This is the worst. How could you...? (The girl is gone. To Lily) You're not going anywhere. Live claritin clear. Wow, that was close. That hippie chick wouldn't leave. She was ready to squat here.",0 1231,Now that's a very big check.,1 1232,Lily can know nothing of what?,4 1233,"I don't know, she may have been right about that lion's head. It gave The Arcadian a regal elegance. Then again, it goes really nice with my duvet. (He takes out a normal size screw driver) I hope I used the right screws.",0 1234,He doesn't sign. He's embarrassed by his hands. They're tiny and lady-like.,0 1235,"It's not my... Stop, okay. She hits his knee. Stop that, Lily.",0 1236,I can't believe you got dumped by a 6-year-old.,2 1237,"Great, funny. God, with a wingman like Ted, I might need to resort to meeting someone in a super desperate and lame way, like online. Online. Online.",0 1238,"I'm flattered you think we have two viewers. She's not going to break up with you, Ted. You're awesome.",4 1239,We did that ready.,1 1240,Seven-layer salad?,2 1241,And you know your worst baggage? You're too nice.,4 1242,Ladies.,0 1243,I feel a little breeze there. It's nice.,0 1244,I think it's cool.,1 1245,Hey. Come on in. Would you like a margarita?,2 1246,His whole life is a call for help. But we do not mess with a man who is in the midst of a no...,1 1247,"Guys, just stop hounding him. Oh, geez.",4 1248,"OK, I know you're afraid of not being ready. But we think ever be. You just take the plunge and it will come naturally.",1 1249,You have not been attacked by a monkey?,2 1250,"Hey, Lucy. What are you doing up?",1 1251,I don't know.,1 1252,"Wait, wait, wait, before you leave, please do respond to this survey to help me better to seduce you in the future.What does not work for you in this game of seduction? Does A do not you think that I hold a bailiff of the world? B or fingernails disgusts you? (He shows her nails, very long and the girl goes away) Sea...",0 1253,What damage did I do?,4 1254,I've never need the beer more than I do right now.,3 1255,I'll give you some privacy.,1 1256,"Robin, it's a mistake. Remember what happened with me and Marshall? The Gerards across the hall?",2 1257,For my biographer?,0 1258,You're currently whining?,0 1259,"(Shocked) It is, it's tonight. This Friday, Did I say next Friday? Yeah-sorry-cuz I've been saying "next Friday" all week, but yeah it's tonight. The-uh-party's tonight. But, you know, whatever.

(Lily throws up onto Mr. Buttons 2. She leaves the shool, running to her apartment in order to stop Marshall from eating the soup) Marshall! Don't eat the soup! Oh, thank God.",2 1282,You make tables work?,1 1283,"So that means... Pauline is not the 199th, it is the 200th?",0 1284,You're on the side of Lily? You... (The chairlift stops) No. We will argue and I can not spin.,0 1285,There she is Florence Night-In-Bed-With-A-Stranger.,0 1286,What has happened with your apartment?,2 1287,"Don't worry, we're not. I just, I feel bad Zoey's having such a hard time.",1 1288,How the hell am I supposed to face this guy again?,3 1289,"Why do you want me to pause?! (She throws herself on him et kisses him) That's just a great use of the pause function, baby.",3 1290,You can leave it open a little more? We monitor everything.,1 1291,"But we didn't go away, we're in the bathroom.",2 1292,"Go home, Ted.",2 1293,"Oh, I don't know, if anything, it's kind of... (Marshall starts unzipping his knee zips) What are you doing?",2 1294,You lost him? I can't believe it! He's gonna go down to that hotel.,1 1295,Ohh!,3 1296,"All right, we'll swing by the party.",4 1297,I was dying to ask. I was just trying to play it cool. But really...,2 1298,"Yeah, it's boring as hell and I'm not learning anything.",0 1299,"I can't believe a high school senior unloaded like that on me. I'm going to ask you something and, um, maybe it's crazy 'cause you guys are the cutest couple ever. But, um, are you having second thoughts?",4 1300,Come on.,4 1301,Hi.,4 1302,"You just made the list, bitch.",2 1303,Ted is not...,4 1304,"Yeah, but it could have been.",4 1305,"Robin. My name is Robin. Like the bird, remember?",4 1306,No need to remind me.,3 1307,"Really, as usual.? Think the funniest thing that ever happened.",0 1308,a date tonight?,4 1309,Nice.,3 1310,"Lily, this is Mr. Druthers, the head architect on the project. Lily's going to be our new office assistant.",1 1311,Small?,2 1312,I'll call you.,0 1313,Actually...,1 1314,Your cell phone rang. I answered. Hope it bother you. Lily is at Marshall. She is fine.,1 1315,Sorry.,3 1316,Gimme the card! I swear I'm gonna...,3 1317,I read six of the words you just said about this jacket.,3 1318,"Why would I have to leave? I can have anything I want delivered, and New York City cable is awesome. Have you seen this public access show with the old Jewish lady in a bikini? (Laughing) It's disgusting.",3 1319,"Well, whatever you do, do not name your baby "Becky," right?",4 1320,"We did not meet him at a strip club. No, sir. Because... Barney don't go to no strip clubs.",3 1321,A list of things that you are too young. Do all these things and tell me if you still want to be old.,4 1322,What's the hard way? Security roughs me up and tosses me out?,0 1323,Barney and Marshall's feud got us banned from the bar. We lost our booth.,2 1324,"Oh, my God. He's coming over. Everybody be cool. Everybody be cool.",0 1325,Not "Ryan.",2 1326,It did not last long.,1 1327,I know. I just like smelling it. It's like eating with your nose.,4 1328,"Wow. OK, I'm in.",1 1329,"Two years ago, I had just hired a new assistant at GNB.",3 1330,Sure.,0 1331,He's so smart. We should get him on Letterman doing tricks.,1 1332,"Yeah, you're happy with him, and i adore you as a roommate, I want you to do what is right for you.",1 1333,"Conformity. It's the one who's different that gets left out in the cold." This is a motivational poster?,3 1334,"I guess, what, we'll need fake names?",1 1335,"Well done 'man, right on target this time. I really needed the right arm of Himan, and this old book of Mad Libs.Pet went to fart to fart loud. This is good. Thank you 'man.",3 1336,I cannot stop staring at that girl's face.,0 1337,She's a pretty private person.,3 1338,"Come on, Ted! This is your dream.",0 1339,Hey!,3 1340,How could you guys let me date Wendy the waitress?,0 1341,"Yeah, me neither. It kind of complicates things, doesn't it?",3 1342,"I must say something. Long ago, I left that horrible daughter, Stella, break my heart. And now she is with this jerk who wrote a movie about it and this movie is called... The Future Bride.",1 1343,"Hey, what about me? What's my job? What do I get to do?",0 1344,Grave. It's not a competition.,0 1345,"I'm sorry, is this a discussion of the degree to which you stabbed me?",2 1346,There's no way.,3 1347,My prom date?!,1 1348,I don't think that's gonna be a problem.,3 1349,"Good. Me, neither.",0 1350,"Oh... Baby, we can do this.",2 1351,The iron man. oh!,4 1352,"Lily, your apartment makes the best Shanghai dumplings.",4 1353,"Usually I just lean in and whisper this one thing in their ear. You're a little turned on right now, aren't you?",0 1354,Look at the bright side. At least you got some closure. She's made her choice and you can finally move on.,3 1355,Or you called? It's not that I want to know. So what? I do not care. You did?,4 1356,What? Him in your program? And my model?,1 1357,Let's go to Atlantic City!,4 1358,You're pretty good on your feet.,1 1359,What's wrong?,2 1360,Hey.,4 1361,"Ted, will you be my best man?",4 1362,Mmm. Your dad?,3 1363,Good man.,1 1364,The one on 5th.,1 1365,I want to be a father now.,3 1366,"So then, I was promoted to assistant ménage-er. Manager. Why do I keep doing that? (Lily arrives.) Lily?",0 1367,"Yeah, and she also sheds, eats out of the garbage and can't control her bobowels.",3 1368,"You argue. Robin, we do not fight.",0 1369,"The tie is well, and you know, this is perfectly normal pinball shortly before his marriage.",1 1370,"You're right, I do deserve that. That's all I came here to say. You know what? I don't care who knows about it. Excuse me. Excuse me. I, Ted Mosby, am a jerk to women. Tell your sisters. Tell your daughters to stay away! Ted-Mosby-Is-A-Jerk-dot-com.",0 1371,"Dude, Robin's not coming.",0 1372,I just need some air.,3 1373,Did you hear that?,0 1374,What happened to Shocky?,1 1375,"So, Ted, would you like to split some jalapeno poppers?",0 1376,"Yes, Susan?",1 1377,It's not too much.,3 1378,"I don't know, maybe because I'm a smart, talented, professional.",4 1379,Here's your think-about-it for the day. Every single person in this room... is already an architect.,1 1380,"You told him? Lily: I had to. I'm Slap Bet Commissioner. Baby, this hurts me more than it's gonna hurt you.",3 1381,Third: it says too early personal things.,3 1382,"Okay, I'll tell you. Just... There's a... There's a girl sitting at the bar. Don't look!",1 1383,Proof A.,3 1384,"Marshall, don't make me scream at you.",1 1385,"No, no. The countdown ends at 3:00 p.m., the day after Thanksgiving. I counted it out.",0 1386,So you do really? You really gonna go to work at 2am.,3 1387,"Yeah, so?",1 1388,"What is wrong with you? God, I feel like I'm teaching love as a second language here. Okay, you know how when he tells you boring work stories you're supposed to listen? Well, when he picks up some random girl at a bar, you're supposed to freak out.",2 1389,No. It is a drum. I want a six pack.,2 1390,December chill... so great.,4 1391,"Yeah, I got it. I thought it might look cool. Of course my colorist took "highlights" to mean, "I want to look like a tiger," hence the hat.",4 1392,"Okay, yes, it's-it's a terrible building, but... does that mean we have to knock it down? I mean, it's not bothering anyone. Just anyone who lives in it... Or looks at it... Or smells it.",1 1393,Where do I know this song from?,0 1394,"Oh yeah, OK, that's a pretty fair assessment of our two arguments.",3 1395,I have no idea who that is.,1 1396,"Hey, check it out! We're in the last 20 seconds of Marshall's countdown to nothing.",0 1397,"Ted, I just saw the news and a truck carrying sulphuric acid overturned right in front of Robin's house. And it's melting through the sidewalk. You can see straight down into hell. It's bad. You should go home, dude.",3 1398,"Do you remember your first time with Ted? You wanted to get on the train Ted, visit his yard.",3 1399,"So, tell her that.",2 1400,Friends isn't gonna work.,4 1401,I never said "never.",4 1402,Thank you. You have a daily special?,1 1403,"Because it is... Yeah, well... We had 3 rencards. It's nice.",1 1404,We already have a caterer.,2 1405,"What? No! N- n-n-n-no! N-n-no! I'm not The Blitz! The only thing I missed last night was my best friends stabbing me in the back by hanging out with my worst enemy. Guys! I hate Zoey! That means you're supposed to hate her, too! Th-that's your rule, Lily!",1 1406,He's not an Adonis.,4 1407,You said what?,2 1408,"No, you found it. I came with you. Go on.",4 1409,Show me you're psyched! Let's do this! Ow! That hurt!,0 1410,"It's out there, it's a thing. The lemon law is a thing. Damn, I should have called it Barney's law.",0 1411,I'm flattered but Lily should.,3 1412,"Warm? Remember to marriage, I said we would be together forever? On our return down the aisle, your mother leaned over and said, "Not forever, darling. Marshall will go to heaven. "",2 1413,"Oh, this store in the Village had one of those crazy sales. It was a footwear feeding frenzy.",2 1414,What? I did not chicken out! You know what? I don't need to take first kiss advice from some pirate who hasn't been single since the first week of college.,1 1415,Ted?,4 1416,"I know, but I learned the lesson. I no longer interferes. I let things.",2 1417,"So, get this: Last night, I was watching TV, and it turns out, some random satellite channel picks up a certain local Chicago newscast.",4 1418,What?,3 1419,"Ted, now's not a good time. Where do you keep your condoms?

(whispers) I'm sorry.,0 1490,Okay.,1 1491,I'll show you things you never seen before! I used to box in the Army!,3 1492,"Monday, September the...?",1 1493,Hey! I'm not perfect; I'm an eight... and a half.,1 1494,Guess what I have behind my back.,0 1495,Easy. You? He speaks clearly to me.,0 1496,"All right, see you later. Happy hunting.",0 1497,Marshall. Lily's a catch. But do you really think you're going to hang onto a girl that great without the package?,0 1498,"Yeah, I took a pack of 144. The rest is in the trunk.",1 1499,A family must be close like that. And I want our future family is. And that includes your father.,3 1500,So Ted didn't care that you wanted to make a move on me?,4 1501,But I...,4 1502,"Yes, we stop.",3 1503,"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Just allergies or something. I'm fine.",4 1504,It wasn't a date. She came over to the apartment looking for you.,1 1505,This is my masterpiece. And then they saw us? It will work anyway.,2 1506,What are you doing on Friday?,0 1507,Fine. (He takes the money),0 1508,No...,4 1509,And you know that girl I made out with at the freshman orientation party?,1 1510,And how!,2 1511,No! Maybe we're just out of firsts.,2 1512,They would be if Marshall was not on it.,0 1513,Old is always better. I can't wait to be old.,1 1514,Come on. Stops.,3 1515,"Okay, look, Ted, I need a favor. Would you mind driving out to Kennedy with me to pick up this famous ecologist for Marshall's fund-raiser? Apparently, he only speaks Spanish. And you speak Spanish, right? (Ted says something in spanish) Perfect. Let's go.",2 1516,"It's great to fantasize about, but nobody ever actually does it.",3 1517,"Well, we all have embarrassing stories. Sometimes it's good to-to talk about it.",3 1518,That's great!,1 1519,You consistently miss at least one belt loop.,4 1520,I hold in my hand the last words my father will ever say to me. I'm gonna hit play.,3 1521,"Hey, sorry I went little too far last night.",0 1522,"So, her sister's driving up to baby-sit Lucy, and we're getting a hotel room in the city Saturday night.",1 1523,Sleeves.,3 1524,"Me. Or maybe we should make the hot sauce on Barney, now that's a sissy.",2 1525,"Oh, are you guys leaving?",1 1526,"Hey, Ted, you know what always picks me up when I'm down? Other people's misfortune. You missed something so amazing.",0 1527,I really hate parades. (Laughs),1 1528,What?,1 1529,"I mean, it's still huge... The building, you know?",1 1530,You're gonna say what?,2 1531,"No, that's fine.",0 1532,"No, it'll take a while. I have to drop a massive New Jersey.",1 1533,No! Shut up! You have not a kind of toothbrush to share or something like that?,4 1534,"I won! Because I'm now in possession of a magic phone that always rings. And you know who's always usually on the other end? A chick. So how many chicks do I have calling me now? Infinity! Guys, remember Ranjit?",0 1535,Good grief! Mom!,0 1536,Don't think...first thing that comes into your mind.,1 1537,Hold on. (Gets up) Wait a minute. (Hands him Olives) Promised you these.,4 1538,"I did not challenge. I would love to see it, but I've not challenged.",3 1539,No. I know why Randy is smiling. You're smiling because of Robin.,2 1540,You got me. My sisters taught me how to bake and how to listen.,0 1541,This isn't happening.,2 1542,Monogamy is the best.,0 1543,Really? I've never heard of them.,1 1544,Oh! Oh! Someone there mentioned generous donation? I'm Marshall Eriksen. But you can call me Biercules!,3 1545,Really?,3 1546,I have to go to Germany and surprise her.,1 1547,"Hey, Mrs. Eriksen, it's Lily. Thank you so much for the delicious cookies. Mayonnaise. Really? Never would have guessed. Well, I will definitely give Marshall a kiss for you. Okay. Take care.",2 1548,Yes.,1 1549,"It was brutal, But the worst was a few minutes later.",3 1550,Lose the cast.,1 1551,"Yeah, it's ugly. I'll go talk to them.",1 1552,They're kissing?! Yeah! (screams) They're kissing!,3 1553,I understand.,1 1554,No!,2 1555,Thank you.,0 1556,... who was the scorer who missed the penalty?,3 1557,Is this what you want? (Imitating Chris) Thirty year fixed mortgage. (Imitating Claire) I'm three months pregnant. (You see Claire behind him) That was awkward. (Claire turns around and leaves),3 1558,You're kidding me.,0 1559,Yell at me.,0 1560,Sure.,3 1561,Faster. Mush! Mush! I need this win. I need this win.,0 1562,"Damn it. Okay, yes, I am in a bit of a dry spell. But I just started a new job, and dating's been on the back burner, and...",4 1563,You okay?,3 1564,"Jamie Adamic. Salvation. Brian Glow-atz. Glau-atz?Salvation. Well done. Add a false name on the call sheet, very original guys. You know, I expected a little maturity, coming from students like you, and frankly, more creative. I mean, seriously, what kind of fake name is Jen Coulin?",1 1565,And my dress. And your dress. You put a dress at one point.,2 1566,But you need a plan and you need a wingman!,0 1567,Seriously?,1 1568,"You've nailed. And be glad it is not the tie-duck. Oh, the tie-duck.",1 1569,You know what?,3 1570,Does anyone know why we're here?,0 1571,"It's not because I'm mad at you. Barney, The Arcadian was designed by a guy named John Clifford Larrabee. And even though he's been dead for half a century, it's my duty, architect to architect, to keep his work alive. Please tell me a little part of you understands.",1 1572,"Division of labor. Everyone's got a job to do, so listen up. Okay, Robin, you and Ted go to the florist.",2 1573,"I know, it's crazy. It's easier to let the universe decide. Why?",2 1574,"I just can't believe her. (He walks into the room with only his chin shaved) We have this totally amicable split, everything's cool. And she comes back from vacation with THAT guy? You know what she's doing? She's trying to win the breakup.",1 1575,Yeah. Thanks. Well... Good night.,1 1576,I will remember Pete.,3 1577,Do... you come back?,3 1578,"Dude, this is your chance.",0 1579,"Oh, what now? Marshall? What are you doing?",1 1580,You are Holly! So Ted did not send messages to Holly? He sent to you?,4 1581,Ted's not my date. He's a friend.,4 1582,More around the eyes.,0 1583,Hey! Come on! Elizabeth!,0 1584,Pulling... Them... Off.,1 1585,And I'm a good hand shaker,1 1586,"Robin, seriously, I love you, but it's like you have squiggly cartoon odor lines coming off of you right now.",0 1587,Holly just told me what she wears. It's pretty exciting.,1 1588,"Euh, oh, hum, heu...",4 1589,We spent 18 hours.,3 1590,"But it is. Finally, everything changes. I will live with Stella, you will be in your new apartment. You start a new job in Tokyo. This is the end of an era. We should make a toast, but not with the usual shit. Your bottle of Scotch the most expensive.",1 1591,"Oh, come on, it wasn't so bad, was it?",4 1592,This is "ridikilus.",0 1593,"No, that's not it.",4 1594,Fine.,0 1595,Let's see what happens.,1 1596,"Oh, that's okay.",2 1597,The same he had with you the first time.,3 1598,I knew you had not of paddler!,3 1599,"Great. I'm Robin, this is my friend Lily.",4 1600,Petra Petrova.,1 1601,"I thought he was talking to a girl he just wanted to jump. Or Ted, but now I know more.",3 1602,"There is no "would" in sex. There totally is. I'm just no good at this Barney! I'm good at being in a couple. I'm good at being Lily's boyfriend. Being single, forget it.",3 1603,Unless your dating life is the glue holding the entire universe together... Whoa. Chills. Anybody else get chills?,3 1604,"I can not stop now, not before the most important interview of my life. It's too stressful.",4 1605,The taxi driver looked like enough to Barney.,2 1606,We're only just getting to know each other.,4 1607,What? It's still one-man band? Because it was crap.,4 1608,"As the musky scent of man and Marshall's sure-footed traction intoxicated and overpowered me.",2 1609,"Oh, you don't think I've tried?",3 1610,"OK, all I need to seal the deal is the Wilco CD...Barney.",1 1611,It was an whole chicken. And did I mention she had 12 sides?,1 1612,Do not sleep with Anita.,4 1613,"Sure, honey. (She throws the key toward the wall besides Marshall)",2 1614,For charades.,4 1615,Who is Nicole Barsamian?,4 1616,Check.,2 1617,"Wait, two things. First of all, I've been laying groundwork all afternoon, totally subtle, totally cool, not pushing, not even nudging. Just the theme of today is Ted rocks. And she's picking up on it lying down.",2 1618,I didn't get it. That first apartment. I... I waited too long and somebody else got it. (She starts crying).,2 1619,No.,0 1620,"Stop saying that, I'm serious. Ask me what you want.",0 1621,"Dude, that is cold-blooded.",3 1622,It's you again...? You sing a song about you?,1 1623,I quit my job.,4 1624,"That's it. I know what you're jonesing for. Ranjit, take us to Gray's Papaya!",1 1625,What? Why?,2 1626,Louise Marsh?! That's a whore's name if I ever heard one.,2 1627,We can make love.,4 1628,Where are my pants? Where's my pants!,3 1629,She remembers me.,1 1630,Wait! We have one more idea for you.,1 1631,"Yeah, I'm a ghost! Died fifteen years ago, like that pickup line.",4 1632,Oh.,0 1633,"Okay, Mother Teresa, throw me one.",4 1634,"Super. Thank you, Ted.",2 1635,"Oh, Ted, I'm so sorry. That's just terrible. I feel awful.",4 1636,Robin.,2 1637,Whoa. What do you think came between Robin and Jessica?,2 1638,"Well, I hate to take his side... but come one a wine tasting? What's the big plan for next Saturday, scrabble night?",4 1639,How did you know that Heather was coming?,1 1640,"Oh, my God. It's horrible. It'll be along to commute.",0 1641,"...at your place, then you failed. Truth is, I'm not scared.",0 1642,Whoo-hoo!,1 1643,"Young lady, get back here! Thanks for your help.",2 1644,Poor Stella must be the crazy one month in three days.,2 1645,Everything's fine. These things take time.,2 1646,"Hey, she's goanna show up. (Silence) She'll show up.",1 1647,"Okay, great. How 'bout you instead?",0 1648,"Hold up, there are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated. Breast, Implants.",0 1649,These stories suck.,1 1650,Yes.,1 1651,"Marshall, whoa! Wait. A big package just arrived.",2 1652,I guess it's true. You and I never really hang out alone.,3 1653,"I grew up here, I speak conductor. Damn it! (she gets off the train) Damn it!",2 1654,I told you so.,3 1655,"Well, it's not that simple. I'm a Canadian. I was born there. My family's there. It's who I am.",4 1656,"No, I guide him.",1 1657,"All right, I'm ready, let's hit it.",1 1658,"I'm in a computer, Mom.",3 1659,Awesome! You're finally getting better.,1 1660,"OK, and Breakfast Club?",2 1661,Okay. I'll write you a letter for my death folder.,2 1662,"Wow. So he's right there making you say all this, huh?",4 1663,"See, it started off with me throwing Marshall's jersey on my body pillow. And, well, things kind of spiraled from there. I'm sorry I yelled like that before.",2 1664,She'll be happy.,3 1665,You got more fans than I thought.,2 1666,"Yeah, well, Marshall and I are about to get pregnant, and I know she stopped being friends with you when you had a baby, so...",2 1667,She gave you her hook.,4 1668,I should go help Robin.,2 1669,"Me too. When we're ready, I know you'll be fantastic.",2 1670,"Well, I could try, but you might end up looking like a midcentury tri-level. Hey, if you want, my friend Marshall invited me to this party we could all go to. Marshall's great. He's just a lawyer, but somebody has to push the paper around for us creative types. Am I right?",1 1671,"Oh, it's good. You see, after that night, none of us heard from Zoey for a while.",4 1672,"Oh, really?",3 1673,Ranjit! Party number two.,1 1674,"I'll tell you anything specific. But all I will say is that he is Canadian, but you know it. And he brought home by offering to show me a single collection.",4 1675,What shall I do? I'll tell you that Ted and I will do. We will introduce and apply the PQ everywhere.,0 1676,"Baby, it's me. My flight was canceled because of a snowstorm and I will not fly until Thursday, I'm still stuck here for two days. It's lunchtime and I love you.",2 1677,Styrofoam trees.,1 1678,"Hi, I'd like to see Dr. Zinman, please.",0 1679,"Anyway, I need you guys to come out to Staten Island on Saturday and help box everything up.",0 1680,"Dude naked"!,0 1681,Hey. We wanted to say we're sorry.,4 1682,She hates olives! Awesome!,3 1683,"And besides, it was a big mistake. I will re-stain the hair.",1 1684,Robin. Hi. So nice to see you again.,4 1685,"Oh, awesome. It's great, right?",1 1686,We have the remains cremated. Its buttons have saved a sick jacket of the Upper East Side.,0 1687,"Charity? You're seriously talking to me about charity? Dude, I am Mr. Charity. I frequently sleep with sixes, chubsters, over-thirties... I am the bill and Melinda gates of the sympathy bang.",0 1688,That's great!,3 1689,"Oh, yeah! Look at us. Riding around in a limo. Eating hot dogs. It's like we're the president.",3 1690,Oh my god! I... I'm so sorry. What happened?,4 1691,"Well, when a kid like Johnny acts up in my class...",2 1692,"... place. And then this... guy talking about this thing with the stuff of which I spoke the other day about this place.Well, anyway... it happened.",4 1693,"No. No... No. No! No! (On the phone) Ted. Um, Brad got me flowers.",3 1694,"Gather around, Ted, you're gonna wanna see this.",0 1695,Yeah.,2 1696,"Yeah. You, too. If you're ever in New York...",1 1697,He asked me out.,4 1698,"Funny? I think it's hilarious. In fact, I liked so much that I think I'm pissed.",4 1699,I was training.,2 1700,"Barney, I don't know if the oven is deep enough. Plus, it's a display made of cardboard.",1 1701,No.,4 1702,"Exactly. Two awesome cancel out, and... I'm tired of being canceled.",0 1703,"Taking the newspaper, think to watch the ads for marriages.For yours.",1 1704,"Dude, that's, like, seven miles. You can't do that. You can't b*at the bus!",1 1705,It's been a while.,1 1706,"Barney, here is a list of all the things I talk with my dad about: baseball.",1 1707,I have used questionable methods to skip a very silly girl.,0 1708,Zoey.,1 1709,Serve the g*n first?,0 1710,"Ted, I'm sorry. No matter who you marry. I know it will be great because she will think you are. To prove my sincerity, I have prepared a surprise for you and Karen at the top. Kisses, Lily.",2 1711,Welcome.,2 1712,"It's, no, it's nothing.",3 1713,Absolutely not!,0 1714,How do you know?,1 1715,A sandwich and gravy fries.,3 1716,I guess we're not.,4 1717,"Yes, but we'll need a diversion.",1 1718,Should we move to the bedroom?,1 1719,"Okay, okay. You want a second opinion? Fine.",1 1720,I'm sorry. Did you say someone knocked down the blue whale?,4 1721,We could just do it right here.,0 1722,Big Tiger. You holding up? Want a hug? You mean yesterday? You're safe here.,0 1723,I know.,1 1724,You guys just had sex? Oh! Wasn't me.,0 1725,"beep, beep, beep, beep. Target acquired! And now it's time we play a little game I like to call "Have You Met Ted?"",0 1726,I'm single. Maybe that's just who I am. And you know what? I like being single.,1 1727,You've slept with one of my best friends!,1 1728,Oh my God.,0 1729,Oh my god!,3 1730,"Hey, say no more. I mean, when I pulled you out of that burning wreckage, I wasn't doing it to have a battleship named after me. But if you insist, yes, I'll be there for the christening.",0 1731,Fine!,2 1732,Stop doing that.,1 1733,I can not believe that "The guy with hair 'market has on you.,1 1734,"Yeah, I know. You turned it down. We hired someone else.",0 1735,"That is the saddest thing I've ever heard. Dude, Lily gets you in real life She has no business in your fantasies.",0 1736,"Brad, we can't fight like this all night! We both got some good shots in. Let's call a truce!",0 1737,Are you sure?,3 1738,What?,2 1739,He forgot his pants!,0 1740,Are you okay?,2 1741,Just watch it without me.,4 1742,"Yeah. Penis feelings. Because she's hot. Guys, as you know, I only have one rule...",0 1743,You don't.,4 1744,"You can always have problems with any decision, but you can not let that stop you. First day in college, Marshall knew he wanted to spend his life with you. And if someone was there to contradict his decision?",1 1745,I'm stuck. I find it the last 2.,2 1746,Just me.,0 1747,Hi.,1 1748,"The Collective Namaste Yoga and Meditation.",0 1749,"Come on, man, you're on it for three days without stopping. This is your birthday. Come have a beer on the roof.",3 1750,Look at this guy. How is my best friend for 12 years?,3 1751,"Well, actually, I've got five dogs.",4 1752,"Hey, uh, can we get this in singles? Before we get the apartment i want to put in a kiddie pool and swim around in it naked. (laugh)",3 1753,"Wait, wait, wait. That's was a subway announcement in the background. I speak conductor.",2 1754,Robin's not married.,3 1755,"OK, I know that you've all dismissed this theory before, but is there any chance that Carl is a vampire?",3 1756,"Hey! Morning, Blitz!",4 1757,Violent... Viola...,3 1758,"Of course, officer. On.",0 1759,Works for baboons. It's called "presenting.",3 1760,"Oh, yeah. I bet even Cro-Magnons used to give cave hookers, like, an extra fish for putting out.",0 1761,Sad? No. I think what you call sorrow was only... jovial nonchalance.,1 1762,Teddy Westside? Continue.,3 1763,Bands on me?,4 1764,"She's miserable. She's realized she's made a huge mistake. Her and Marshall will be back together in a week, I love it!",1 1765,"Look, I'm not suggesting that we move here tomorrow. I'm just...",3 1766,"All of these little rituals, nice, cute... This is stupid. Say what we ate? They look like kids playing in the dinette.",4 1767,"A few months ago, my architecture firm was approached to design this new building...",1 1768,It's great. This is for what?,1 1769,I hired an actress to play my girlfriend "Betty". His real name is Margaret. It is mainly small theaters. Superb actress.In it a Moliere. I say no more. This is political. I should not talk about it. But there is a problem. Betty has a slight tendency to improvise.,0 1770,"Look, I'm not there to pick you. I am here because I need to know that you know you've made the worst mistake of your life.",1 1771,"Then I'm also crossing off, um, "Shaquille"... Mm-hmm. "Hakeem," and "Dikembe." Hey, what about "Rob"?",3 1772,"Jealous. Jealous. Hero. Strangely silent during this conversation on his number of sexual partners. Hero. The grand total, it is the only number that matters.",0 1773,"Oh, you mean how Robin's in love with Ted?",0 1774,I do not like this scenario.,3 1775,A little.,4 1776,"Oh, god, I can't believe I said that. Why did I say that? Who says that? I should just go. (Gets up)",1 1777,"Marshall, I gotta go. In fact, there are toilets here, if you want to use.",0 1778,I first noticed it at the bar.,3 1779,"Oh, I wish I could come with you guys but Derek should be coming by any minute to pick me up.",4 1780,See ya.,1 1781,"What? No, that's... that's not mine. I've never seen that before in my life.",1 1782,"Don't worry, I slept through it. (laughs) I totally didn't sleep through it. For a little girl, you've got a big t*nk.",0 1783,"Yeah, right.",3 1784,"Seriously, I thought it was the only one. Too much!(Robin arrives in the basement) You're glowing. Tape the Barnacle.",0 1785,It is perhaps not in love with us.,3 1786,How? We'll never get a cab.,1 1787,"Hey, Punchy, I've given this some serious thought. I think I know how we can crush these floral arrangements.",1 1788,We would still have had to make their numbers.,1 1789,"Barney and Robin are in love, but they are more Barney and Robin. They are big and old.",1 1790,"Stella! You have a serious girlfriend now! You're over this one. Robin who, right? Stella makes this one look like a filthy bag of gbabage, am I right? Happy birthday, bro.",0 1791,Mexican?,1 1792,"Oh, you think you're not learning anything, huh? Okay. Pop quiz.",1 1793,I'm really loving my new job.,3 1794,A lot of things in the helmet of the space of 50 years who serves as its head.,4 1795,"What is she goanna-is she goanna bat her eyes at you in Morse code (bats eyes)?? Ted (bats eyes) Kiss me-No, you just kiss her!",0 1796,Oh.,4 1797,Wait. She's gonna let you name your kids Luke and Leia?,2 1798,"Oh, yeah, yeah? Be my guest. Fall in love with her. Get married. Just know this: When I step up to make my toast as your best man...",0 1799,I'm so excited you're here.,1 1800,The Captain?,0 1801,It's not obvious?,4 1802,He's right.,3 1803,I'd love to!,4 1804,You're in love with Robin? You're in love with Robin.That's why you not want people sleeping together.,1 1805,"Yes. What, you don't believe me?",1 1806,"Well, who's not getting a tip because of her attitude?",4 1807,"A green tea with lemon for me, and for my friend here, the meatloaf, please.",0 1808,"Oh, it's been stuck in my head ever since I heard it this weekend at brunch.",1 1809,It happened to us? Where was I?,4 1810,Oh... The boots...,3 1811,Reg... (He takes his phone.) That guy scares me. I think I'll leave him a text.,0 1812,Where is she?,3 1813,"Great. So go make nice with Captain Creepy, and problem solved.",2 1814,"No, she can not mosbyser.",2 1815,I'll think about it.,4 1816,Shhhhhhhh. (loses his mind) aaahhhh,0 1817,"No! Of course! Absolutely!

     

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F.D. » Transcripts » TV & Movie Transcripts » H » How I Met Your Mother



Woodworthy Manor,",1 1835,"Wait, Ted. And your speech?",3 1836,"It's called class, Ted.",2 1837,Hello?! (He hangs up) A guy answered. There is... There is a guy in her room. I'm going down there.,3 1838,Momentary grudging respect.,0 1839,What is the name there?,2 1840,Big?,3 1841,I had an aunt in the Coast Guard.,1 1842,"Think again, Cher made some great concerts. But I'm not gay.",1 1843,"No, no, no, no you were at party number four. You must have looked at the list wrong.",1 1844,"Hey, Robin, how are you?",1 1845,And you got our wedding vows off the Internet.,2 1846,Not Okay. That place is lame.,1 1847,Grave. We are going. It's time for Robots vs. Wrestlers.,3 1848,Wow.,1 1849,"So long, guys.",4 1850,"Look, I'm crazy about this girl, if waiting is what it takes, then I'm fine with that. And totally unrelated note. Does anybody have gamma icer or a piece of bark that you are not chewing?",1 1851,"Whaaat?!! (in a high voice) (huffs) Nooo, I HATE Don! I-I-I can't stop thinking how much I hate him, it's like, it's like... all the time. I just wanna attack him and rip his stupid clothes off and spank him with his little paddle until his bum's all red. SHUT UP!! (leaves the table)",4 1852,"Yes, both are non-negotiable refusal.",3 1853,When a second uterus plumped becomes...,1 1854,"Abby, I've... I've got some bad news. I can't marry you.",0 1855,"You know, a reading of poetry.",1 1856,"Yes, I do. You got me. That is exactly what I want right now. And so what? I want this. She wants this. It's happening, and if you have a problem with it, don't be in Germany. It's been nice pretending to talk to you. Thanks for not calling me and good night.",1 1857,This is my story. It is written by Tony Grafanello.,1 1858,Peace. I'm out.,1 1859,There is a pharmacy across the street. Would 20 bucks buy me a razor?,4 1860,"I know, right?",3 1861,"Right. And I'm serious, do not tell anyone.",4 1862,But we can barely afford that to begin with.,2 1863,"That's between me and my wife, sir.",3 1864,And I just slept with my ex-boyfriend's really good friend.,4 1865,"Are you sure? Marshall: If it wasn't, I peed in the wrong guy's shampoo, man.",2 1866,"Tomorrow, the cougar hunt begins.",0 1867,"Uh, look, I got to go. Take a picture.",1 1868,Nobody. What did you guys talk about in there? Anything interesting?,3 1869,"Anyway, uh, I came across this.",1 1870,"Let them! In a sense, it's sad, right? Barney who abandons his p*rn. He has love handles. They eat the same thing every night. We are witnessing the end of Barney Stinson as we know it.",1 1871,"You know what? This is not nothing. Clay, my friend Ted has designed a building, Clay. What do you do, Clay?",3 1872,They even try to help!,0 1873,(mouths) Wow.,1 1874,"Wait a minute! Aldrin was seen. She tries to escape, she jumps, and... I thought she would not do that.",3 1875,"Yeah, it has to go. I'm the bride, you can't look better than me.",2 1876,"Impossible, the presentation is tomorrow. These hats are not alone.",1 1877,"Okay, I look at my calendar, see when I'm available. But I want a list of questions in advance and nothing about my private life.",1 1878,"The big three-oh. You know, my 30th birthday's this friday. Did you forget? What kind of friend is this guy?",1 1879,"Ok, It's like this. After we kissed, we sat down to have the talk.",4 1880,It is?,0 1881,"Yeah, I have one.",4 1882,"Let's do it again, soon.",0 1883,Marshall!,2 1884,I can't believe Ted's getting back together with Zoey.,4 1885,...and drive her home like a pack of sled dogs!,2 1886,"Uh, I have perhaps not been clear is the... Robin Ball Architects.This event is a very hip.",1 1887,"Right, um, okay, Jeff, I've actually given this a lot of thought...",3 1888,Doesn't matter. And you'll know it's coming when she mentions my cousin Stacy: six kids in five years. The woman's basically a ride at a water park.,1 1889,It is tonight. Whoo!,1 1890,"I hate to tell you this, but...",4 1891,Wow. It seems like a great trip.,2 1892,What? But you do anything in your video. You were right next to a horse and sitting on a motorcycle.,4 1893,"Let us raise our glasses. During the last 3 years, Marshall has worked so hard, and I am so proud of you.",2 1894,"I promise you, after tonight, that cougar will be my pet, and I its master.",0 1895,You're never going to find this girl.,2 1896,It had to happen eventually. I tried so hard to suppress my... "side-idiot-who-is-not-care-for nothing" he rebelled and has struggled!,3 1897,Never! Six.,2 1898,"Hi, Dad.",1 1899,Don!! You're wearing pants!,4 1900,"Listen, Randy, I'm sorry, but I broke my own moral code once and I felt evil. I will not let GNB change me. I will never fire anyone again ever.",3 1901,"A kid! Mom, are you? You always make a fuss about nothing.",3 1902,"Well, jeans will only get you so far. I'm going home with him.",4 1903,What's wrong with MacLaren's?,1 1904,Are you sure?,3 1905,That's a line.,0 1906,He wanted a son and the fact that I am a girl has not changed.,4 1907,Really? Why?,2 1908,What about now?,0 1909,Coming up at 11:00: Are there piranhas in the East River? What you don't know... could eat you.,4 1910,Do you have any?,3 1911,"Hilarious! There was a jar of cherries in the fridge, then Jenkins said: $ 200 and I eat the whole pot. So we gave him $ 200, and he ate the whole jar!",3 1912,"OK, but this time, jump up and I'll swipe your legs.",1 1913,"They suck, suck!",2 1914,What?,0 1915,"God, no... Brad, no... This is about me and Barney.",4 1916,"Welcome to big Wave Luau. Can I tiki your drink order? Aw, crap.",2 1917,That was the signal!,3 1918,"It's you. "" It's me. "" I saw you in the street. "" Are you Annie? "" Yes. ",1 1919,"And not a single passenger would listen to me. I mean, am I a bad teacher? Do I just put people to sleep?",1 1920,Too green?,1 1921,We all know what it gave.,0 1922,Mmmm...,0 1923,"It's a circle, Ted, I called it a circle.",0 1924,oh!,1 1925,"I can not wait, buddy.",0 1926,"Yeah. So would you maybe, um... want to go out again?",1 1927,"Seriously, they're your friends. You got to go apologize.",1 1928,"My God, Barney! I work for GNB, too. All I got was $15 gift card to Costa Coffee.",1 1929,"Ted, so now that things with you and Victoria are going pretty well, I assume you're over all the girls you were into before, right? I take your silence as a yes, so say I were to hook up with someone, say Robin, you'd be cool with that, right?",0 1930,It's only been two months.,2 1931,"No, not the New York Public Library. This is the library Nouillorc, in Dakota. Their books are in two parts: fishing and not fishing.",1 1932,There's alcohol in here.,4 1933,My God!,4 1934,Who?,3 1935,No reason.,1 1936,I got it! I don't ask her out... I invite her to our party next Friday.,1 1937,Get in the cab. Marshall you too.,0 1938,Come on. Lily saw you.,1 1939,Wait... What if somebody else told their most humiliating story?,2 1940,"And then he walks past me. I hate you not respect the queue more than New Jersey. In fact, this is false. There's nothing I hate more than New Jersey.",1 1941,"Hey, guys. Good news. First of all, you can ignore all the e-mails and texts we've sent you.",2 1942,I know how important it is to you.,3 1943,"Oh, please, what's your biggest problem? Having to sail back to the marina because the Captain's all out of white Zin? Oh. Great. Now you're crying. Like that's going to get my sympathy.",1 1944,"You mean, who is the Slutty Pumpkin? It was four years ago.",1 1945,"Wow. Wow. Great stuff, Tommy Lee. See what you don't understand is, I'm Ted wingman. It's a sacred bond, much stronger that any... They're making out again!",0 1946,How is she doing?,1 1947,You brought the game to the bar?,2 1948,"So, your dolls are favorites of Rhinebeck prices next month.",4 1949,It is simply impossible.,3 1950,"I know, right, isn't that amazing? I spent half an hour making these happen. Its tape in there, cotton balls, half of a Nerf football, but it works, right?",4 1951,"I'm telling you. The power of Valentine's Day. I'm Huey Lewis, and you just heard the news.",0 1952,I should get a Christmas-themed movie snack for tomorrow night.,1 1953,Hi Katie. Barney.,0 1954,But you want to be an environmental lawyer.,2 1955,"Hey, that is...",1 1956,"Oh, baby, can you just hold me, please?",2 1957,"What? No, you wouldn't. Somebody help me! Somebody help me!",3 1958,"Listen to you. That? You know, women aren't objects. They're human beings. And FYI, Shannon and I have decided to wait till we're married. You can read about it in my zine.",0 1959,"Okay. Right. So, Robin?",0 1960,"Finally... Robin, you're dating Ted.",0 1961,There she is...,1 1962,"She could've knocked on any door to find someone to fix her stereo, but she knocked on mine.",3 1963,All was well until he sends a text message for Lily and ruins everything.,0 1964,"And with a little luck, in a few days, Farmer Frank's cold will be all gone. And that's why Farmer Frank's breath smells like medicine. Right, Farmer Frank?",2 1965,"Oh, God. Tell me you didn't go over there.",4 1966,What? What are you talking about?,1 1967,You're going to show me your hair?,1 1968,Finish line of a woman 10K. Salty girls on an endorphin high who just want to lie down. Yeah.,0 1969,...that kind of money only goes for real paintings.,3 1970,"I'm glad. Sometimes, i don't. A place like this really needs a lady of the house. I know it's early to be thinking of you as... Oh, God, i'm freaking you out, aren't I? It's just you make me feel so safe. I didn't..."",0 1971,"Uh, okay, Barney, you can stop.",1 1972,"Well, I teach kindergarten and the school board took away my nap time, the kids' nap time.",2 1973,"Guys, you did not... This is a picture of me without children. And with macaroni glued to the frame. Guys, I love it.",0 1974,"And nope. I'm sorry, Barney, but no girl is going home with a guy with a flower on his chest. Unless he's a clown, and she's in the trunk of his car.",4 1975,"I'm sorry,but you know I'd only come here if I had no other choice. But earlier today, I was getting ready to go to sleep and...",2 1976,What am I doing with my life?,4 1977,"Of course, of course.",0 1978,"Bingo! So, I was talking to this girl...",0 1979,FINE! I CAN SEE IT! YOU WIN!,3 1980,You should put yourself on track.,3 1981,I hit redial on the phone. Divorce lawyers?,1 1982,"Hey I'm at a point in my life where my suits are my family. Look around you Lily. You are in the heart of bachelor country, and as a woman, you are an illegal immigrant here. Now,you can try to apply for a sex visa, but that only lasts 12 hours. 14 if you qualify for multiple entry.",0 1983,Okay. OK. I recadrerai.,3 1984,Hello?,3 1985,No way.,1 1986,"Hey. Barney, let's go outside for a second.",3 1987,"Bro, I told you, if you ever need a wingman, I'm your guy.",3 1988,"And if anything didn't go according to plan, they would freak out.",0 1989,Bowl.,1 1990,"Well, don't stand out here and b*at yourself up. Get in there and b*at Ted up. I'll handle the slutty kickboxer. Actually, I'll take Ted.",2 1991,"Okay, if you don't, I will.",4 1992,"Goodbye, Sparky.",3 1993,We most certainly did.,3 1994,Yeah.,3 1995,What are you doing?,1 1996,"You hate olives? Lily loves them, you can't stand them.",0 1997,I'm here to...,1 1998,"Yeah, no, it did. I mean, I kinda liked the rusty taste. I'm used to it. I don't know.",1 1999,Uh-huh.,4 2000,"No, um... I'll be right back.",3 2001,Go to the basics!,3 2002,What I should have done there is a lease.,0 2003,Ted. Ted. Ted. Ted. Ted.,0 2004,Right.,2 2005,(laughs) What?!,1 2006,Am I blushing or...?,4 2007,"Yeah, I guess. Just not sure if Lily's gonna like it.",3 2008,"I do not care, why do such.",2 2009,"No, sir, I'm saying instead of getting rid of someone when they screw up, we should... we should help them. We should nurture them.",3 2010,"Wow, that's a pretty sophisticated trap. You think the road runner's gonna fall for it?",4 2011,"You're going. That's awesome. Oh my God, four days to find a dress?",2 2012,"Yeah, I'll go with you in just a second......",2 2013,Let's order!,4 2014,"You're the 3rd floor of the home student next to the playroom, dork.",3 2015,You can stop with that?,3 2016,"So, Barney, I hear you and Nora had a fun time at laser tag.",4 2017,"Mom, you leave us a moment?",0 2018,What?,2 2019,"Even you, you will meet more girls in 22 years when you get 80.",3 2020,And she...,1 2021,Eew. I'm just assuming.,2 2022,"Ted, why don't you just talk to him? He's your best friend.",4 2023,"I can not remain indifferent... ",0 2024,No. Scott Crable?,1 2025,Butterscotch is to Canadian women what chocolate is to American women.,0 2026,"Here's your speech. "In single file, girls. No big. "",0 2027,Dogs? I live with her ex-boyfriend. I think she's a little more allergic to that.,1 2028,Certainly not.,3 2029,Wooo!,2 2030,That's it! You know what? Five-minute time-out! Corner booth! Now.,2 2031,"Yeah, why?",4 2032,"Maybe. She was right. We were not ready. We needed to move forward, we do our stuff. It is always the case.",1 2033,A little.,0 2034,"Okay, but you better not be as they stuck together when I cans on the roof. "My ears. The neighbors called the cops.You almost hit me. "",4 2035,"False. Sidebar, tuck in your shirt. You look sketchy.",0 2036,"Thanks. I, uh, figured, new city, new color - uh, old color. (Music 'It's gonna be different this time' / Later). And the pizza there. Worst pizza ever! I'm so glad to be back in New-York.",2 2037,We go back home...,0 2038,See you.,0 2039,"Where's the poop, Robin?",2 2040,What else?,4 2041,Okay. Bye.,2 2042,"Don't poke the dragon, Robin, 'cause the dragon will poke you back.",0 2043,But designing a building in New York City is your lifelong dream.,2 2044,"For your information, my boss is about to bump me up to the City Hall b*at.",4 2045,Nice.,3 2046,"Guys, I wonder, you also are interviewing the mayor tomorrow, or it just me? Don was in the teeth, while I'm smoking a. Lighter Marshall.",4 2047,What do you mean?,0 2048,What about the no-shave rule? What happened to your convictions?,2 2049,"I have no idea. And it's k*ll us, Claire. It k*ll us!",3 2050,(reaches in his Jacket) Click. Off. Let's make out.,1 2051,No.,0 2052,Ok,1 2053,So you did what?,4 2054,"Hey, baby, how's the dress place?",3 2055,"It, it means he will not.",0 2056,I got four sessions left. Ther-There's got to be an angle I'm not seeing.,1 2057,It is so much fun.,3 2058,"No, thanks. I think I figured out what I want to be when I grow up.",2 2059,"No, that's what mom was doing with his two jobs. This man broke my heart every day for 20 years.",2 2060,"You know, Ted, in hindsight, it is too early to choose between these two girls. Takes a friend. Like, I dunno, maybe a friend who has a poster of Lenny Kravitz on his wall, and may or may not have dated this post and transported from his high school...",4 2061,... three.,4 2062,"Hey, she's the one who rolled a three. Victoria, "Have you ever cheated while in a relationship?" Wow, good question.",3 2063,"Ted, to your heart, you know that you love one more than the other.Believe me, takes the other.",4 2064,"Oh, dear god.Marshall, we've been over and over this. You have to stop sending those to people.",2 2065,"You may not have much range, but at least I'm marrying a guy who knows how to make pancakes.",2 2066,"Okay, so you just... You want me to give my dad a stroke?",3 2067,Yeah. I have no idea what that's all about.,1 2068,She's got you making pies for this guy?,0 2069,"The realization that hope springs eternal. Ca and the little purple pill box found in my bag. I do not know what they are, but they are amazing!",0 2070,"Ok, promise me two things. One, believe in you again, and two, do not cry during the toast, Schmosby.",4 2071,What?,1 2072,I feel kind of like Richard Gere.,1 2073,"Why can't I?! Nowhere in the rules does it say that I have to sit through sort of mental torture! You are allowed to slap my face, Sir, but you are not allowed to slap my mind! Good day!",0 2074,But the Nicaraguans need us!,0 2075,Okay. Say it.,3 2076,This isn't my phone.,1 2077,"And you earned it, buddy. Check out what I'm gonna buy for myself. The dibiase. See those pinstripes? Diamonds. It is the uppest a person could ever suit.",0 2078,"Well, what are we doing? It's Thanksgiving.",4 2079,The Little Barney says "Mahalo.",0 2080,It will never be together in any sexual way again.,2 2081,You're the best.,4 2082,That's what everyone thinks and then along comes step 3: Submission.,0 2083,It is called Paxton.,2 2084,"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of a butterfly landing on a leaf about three blocks away.",0 2085,Hi!,4 2086,Okay.,1 2087,... but I can not help thinking that goes well together.,4 2088,A twin isn't the same person.,3 2089,What... Why didn't you tell us?,1 2090,"Well, at first I wasn't sure, but then she said something that got me thinking.",1 2091,What? She needs to get psyched. Fine.,0 2092,"Natalie, its Ted Mosby.",1 2093,Yeah. He's stuck in Duchess County.,0 2094,"Are you kidding? He's Hammond Druthers. He's a legend. I'm just part of his team. This building is huge for the firm, so it's really important we don't blow it. (Giggles) All right, enough!",1 2095,"Aw, man! You said I could leave the room!",0 2096,"Our costumes...yes, that is why we're best friends.",3 2097,Yes.,4 2098,I changed my mind. I don't want to meet her.,1 2099,"Oh, God! This gonna be another one of your weird all-guy parties?",0 2100,No.,4 2101,"Oh, it's gonna be a tough sell.",1 2102,"Oh, you had to be there, Blitz. Yes.",2 2103,What did you have in mind?,0 2104,I am definitely getting psyched.,1 2105,I heard a joke at work.,0 2106,"Video's pretty good on this phone, huh?",0 2107,I know.,1 2108,"She wants to do a doctorate, she reads the philosophy for fun, she finished the crossword in the Sunday New York Times.",1 2109,"Man, I always thought I had it rough not really knowing my dad, but... now I realize at least I'll never have to suffer like this. Our next video is called "German Shepherd Activates Tennis Ball Cannon While Fat Kid Sips Energy Drink."",0 2110,"OK, to Saturday. (Marshall is in the doorway) I was thinking of a brunch, and perhaps a hike. I love you too.",0 2111,"Are we? You don't return my calls, we never hang out and now you're trying to make my jealous by waving Edward R. Moron in my face?",1 2112,Correct! What is Robin's dream job?,1 2113,There should be a bar.,1 2114,"Are you kidding me?! All you ever talk about is having kids! And now you have one little freak-out and you want to get a dog instead?! No. Unacceptable! You're gonna turn around, you're gonna go home, get naked, lie together as man and wife until Lily is great with child. Right now! I'm serious! Go, go, go!",1 2115,I totally pull them off! It's a classic Western look.,1 2116,"Look, Robin, you're not going home. Come on, it's New Year's Eve. Look, so your date fell through. So what? What do you need a date for? Someone to kiss at midnight? Fine. I'll kiss you at... a little bit after midnight.",1 2117,Married!,3 2118,I'm heading up to the roof.,1 2119,Done. (Barney is McClaren's) "Drinking shots with strangers. "Done.,0 2120,It's not a nice bag?,3 2121,"Barney, do you want to come back to my place?",4 2122,"Wow. I'm not American, and apparently, I'm not Canadian either.",4 2123,"Oh God, I'll be right there.",4 2124,You're not happy. You just think you're happy because you feel happy.,2 2125,"You're doing this all wrong! Ted, there are couples in my kindergarten class who have moved faster than you two. Granted, their home lives are not great.",0 2126,Yeah. Nail-biter.,4 2127,You sure?,0 2128,"You sure it was not a monkey on the shoulders of another monkey, wearing a trench coat?",0 2129,"Five weeks, three days by my estimation.",0 2130,"Oh, where're you headed?",1 2131,It's like they never challenge each other. They just automatically agree all the time.,1 2132,Ow!,1 2133,But just before takeoff...,2 2134,"You know, I do not believe all this stuff cute and adorable, it's not them. And I know for a fact that Robin hates nicknames.",1 2135,Robin.,0 2136,"We didn't really get a chance to meet. I'm Lily, and this is my fiance, Marshall.",2 2137,"And dude, dude, dude, dude... The name of our bar will be... Puzzles. People will, "Why Puzzles? "That's the puzzle.",0 2138,Wait-wait-wait a minute!,0 2139,"Did you send her an e-mail, or did you "collar"?",2 2140,"That's it? That's what passes for communication in our family? Man, when I have kids, and I tell them how I met their mother, I'm gonna tell them everything, the whole damn story.",1 2141,"Marshall, hey. Sorry, I, uh, I had to park and-and grab some ice. Sorry.",2 2142,Who's the wimp now? Answer: you.,3 2143,Well?,0 2144,I confirm. You can uncross your legs?,2 2145,"Yes, of course.",4 2146,Freakin' briefcases.,3 2147,"As Gandhi said, "A smile costs nothing, baby."",0 2148,And a pineapple. Am I the only one who's curious about the pineapple?,3 2149,"Yeah, you're right.",1 2150,This list of pros and cons leads to nothing. I need a color scale.,1 2151,I took an introductory karate class.,2 2152,"So, this is the Europe Germany?",1 2153,"Look, I appreciate your help, but... who am I kidding? I'm Canadian. I always will be.",4 2154,My ex.,3 2155,"You can pay Arthur? I have the slab! How is your father, anyway?",3 2156,You want to judge a fellow human being based solely on one external characteristic? That's racism. And I do not drink with r*cist. Good day.,0 2157,"Yeah, but the constant fear of knowing that at any moment you can get slapped in the face would drive you crazy.",1 2158,"Dammit! OK, so how do we get the truth out of her?",4 2159,We invented it. It's the most dangerous and awesome sport in the world.,3 2160,Of you? Please. I'm a kindergarten teacher.,2 2161,We're going home.,2 2162,Thank God you're here. She's been messing with the exhibits.,0 2163,"I explained. I said, Madeline, every international conflict essentially boils down to sexual tension.",0 2164,"Uh, listen Marshall...",1 2165,But it wasn't.,4 2166,I'm flippering you off.,0 2167,"If the last person I wanted to see, came in I would not talk to him.",4 2168,"Yes, I am.",3 2169,Why would Natalie hang up on you?,2 2170,"Okay, fine, I have feelings for him.",4 2171,For a monkey. I got mugged by a monkey.,3 2172,"Ted, Ted... you're not even looking.",0 2173,Um yeah. How about you do it for free or every time we hang out you have to watch this. (To Robin) Come here my little baby. (Ted and Robin are making out),1 2174,Then what am I supposed to do?,1 2175,I'm going to the bathroom right now.,4 2176,There is a werewolf on the ground! It can not be legit.,3 2177,What?,2 2178,You're right. Who am I kidding?,3 2179,"Look, I don't need you to teach me how to live, okay. I know how to live. If you want to go lick the Liberty Bell just go lick it yourself.",1 2180,Really? I hate your mother.,2 2181,"Really? It starts with a Gladys. And suddenly, a few gay guys not so fabulous fall into the ranks. And before you know it, the girls look like pharma team to a Southwest flight to Albuquerque in Little Rock. It's over!",0 2182,"Ooh, I am smelling dirt. What is the story of the re-return?",2 2183,Covered in protective plastic.,3 2184,I spent 18 years without a woman does not affect me. I can do it again.,3 2185,My cleats signed by Bernie Kosar. My lamp elephant.The English phone booth. My sombrero!,1 2186,Thank you.,4 2187,"Barney, Barney, Barney, it's not worth it! Let it go. We need to get back on schedule.",1 2188,"OK. I know what I did a couple nights back was is in a moral grey area. But the great news is she loved you. If things had gone your way, you'd gone out a couple time, I think she definitely would've had sex with you.",0 2189,I feel terrible.,1 2190,We think you should give him another chance. That's the real reason we're out here. He lives ten minutes away.,2 2191,"Um, something about fur trapping.",1 2192,"Look, I miscalculated. I thought she'd be old and fragile, like most cougars. But kitty's got claws. Don't worry though. Tonight, I'm seeing her again.",0 2193,"I get it. Because I am happily married, I'm a schmuck?",2 2194,I love Toy-man.,3 2195,"Okay, you refused to talk to Robin. So I thought that you might like to talk to... the organist for the New York Rangers. Jessica Glitter?!",3 2196,"Yeah, how'd you know?",3 2197,It was a bad spot.,3 2198,It's not my office. The building was well Ted. That of Sven was better. And I will not let the fact that I am the best friend of Ted influence business.,0 2199,Unsubscribe.,3 2200,"Yes, sir. But I have good benefits and I have made a great decision. I'll start my own box.",1 2201,I'm going to recover.,1 2202,Mom!,3 2203,"Oh, geez, Barney, don't do this.",4 2204,"Look, you're new at teaching. In my kindergarten class, I have had plenty of troublesome students. Like Johnny Marley...",2 2205,Put him on speaker.,0 2206,"I thought that after marriage, Lucy and you could sit here.",1 2207,"Robin, don't disagree with Marshall.",2 2208,That's what happened.,1 2209,"So, you get up very early to discuss the European market? How is it?",4 2210,"Dude, don't do that. All they're going to hear is "$12 million," and all you're going to hear is the sound of the door smacking your fired ass. And some muffled laughter. Which I apologize for in advance.",0 2211,You're saying...,1 2212,You're right. You're right. I can design it however I want.,1 2213,"Yeah, it is. Come down here.",1 2214,"Well, can we just go ahead and do it in my husband's name? He's the head of the household. He earns the big bucks. I mean, can women even own property?",2 2215,Yeah.,1 2216,(Subtitle) Nice eyes. Cute smile. Out of your league.,1 2217,You were supposed to be on a motorcycle to say that?,1 2218,"Mmm, totes, toots. She's here on a date. She brought the book because she got here early, and she also wants to impress the guy she's meeting. Girls like to come across all classy and smart, you know? (She gets a giant hamburger out of a paper bag)",4 2219,"Look, I highly doubt the Great Spirit is a stickler for choreography. It's the thought that counts. She's leaving in half an hour.",1 2220,You want to sleep with Jenkins?,1 2221,We frightened a couple great just because we share a toothbrush.,3 2222,"Okay, Neruda, this play is extremely complicated.",0 2223,How?,1 2224,An agreement of honor!,4 2225,So they are to marry...,1 2226,Great. How do we get in touch with the bridesmaids?,2 2227,"Well, uh, I've been to a couple funerals, so I know my role: I'm Vice Girl. Whatever Marshall needs to get through this day, I got it right here.",4 2228,A...,1 2229,Yes. Proof. Go word. I'm glad you brought that up. Barney's briefcase. He forgot it here this morning. (taking Barney's briefcase).,4 2230,"But it's not his fault, okay? It's nobody's fault. You and Zoey have nothing in common. For God's sake, Captain, she hates boats! You're just not right for each other. Look, I know it's tough to face, but I'm sure a small part of you has always known that.",1 2231,I will not get it.,3 2232,"Well, it's still early.",4 2233,"Yeah, I thought I'd just spend the day giving back, you know, doing some good.",1 2234,I'm not lying! I swear on my mother. I swear Goliath National Bank. I swear on my costumes. I... do... mens... not.,0 2235,I want to press it!,1 2236,Come on. Give her a chance.,2 2237,This is not what I ordered.,3 2238,"Amanda, was it that simple? You know, the fight in melee, it is more than using force against his opponent, huh B?",1 2239,Yeah. That doesn't go away.,0 2240,"Sloppy Joe, shrimp cocktail and a milk shake.",3 2241,"Bad move, Scherbatsky.",0 2242,"Oh. You know what, Ted? That was very nice. You have earned these screws back. Don't sit in your desk chair until you've put them back in.",2 2243,"Dude, this is your chance.",0 2244,What series?,0 2245,Those charges are from a month ago.,0 2246,"Yeah, thought I'd whip up some pancakes.",2 2247,"Me first. Mom, there's something that I need to ask you, and I... I want you to be honest with me. Why do white people like Carrot Top?",0 2248,You lost it.,0 2249,"Marshall, the teleconference begins soon.",0 2250,Abby is...?,1 2251,"That's the guy, the official caps of no fault of Barney. I was going to make t-shirts, but you know, sizes, all that, and it would hurt me to think.",3 2252,"Sorry about that, Summer Breeze is my guilty pleasure song.",1 2253,I know.,1 2254,"All right, and party number one that's where we get to meet Mary Beth?",2 2255,"My God, this is the worst break.",1 2256,"There is a lot of ketchup on that burger. Sorry, what happened?",1 2257,There are no black people?,1 2258,"Hey. Hey, wait. Come on. I was kid... Wait, wait, wait! There's another addendum to The Mermaid Theory. A pregnant woman who's become a manatee can become a mermaid again through one simple act.",0 2259,"Back already. How was flying solo? And by "solo," I mean so low that you got sh*t down.",3 2260,This is my apartment!,2 2261,I've been trying to call her. I can't get through. All the circuits are jammed.,3 2262,"I am not won... Okay, even if I am wondering that, it's only 'cause you put it in my head.",1 2263,Go with the 10 now.,1 2264,Okay is Lame? I thought Lame was a gay bar. Or is that Wrong?,4 2265,This is a tough one.,3 2266,"Damn it, Max. That's Maury Povich.",4 2267,"Yes, two weeks, good idea. I'm calling her now.",1 2268,"Me, too.",2 2269,I brought this large turkey so far.,1 2270,"Come on, we've had a good run. Why end on a fight?",1 2271,The 'N Sync concert.,0 2272,Hey Brad!,0 2273,We take turns! Sometimes.,1 2274,"No, it's my fault for thinking that you might care. Ranjit, stop the car.",4 2275,No. Of course not.,2 2276,"Yeah, she... she's still in town.",1 2277,"And in any other relationship, that would be it. End of story. But because you have to see this person again, there's a step 8: FALLOUT.",0 2278,"Dude, actually, we made other plans, so... okay (Michael mimes) one word. 2 syllables. Sounds like... parades: charades.",3 2279,Please tell me you are hooking up with one of your co-anchors again. (laughing),0 2280,"A certain standard of living"? You didn't pay a single...,0 2281,There's been no light.,0 2282,"Robin, you do look super hot.",0 2283,Nice shirt.,0 2284,Hey!,3 2285,"No, we are not!",0 2286,Come.,3 2287,What's with the face?,0 2288,Not at all.,3 2289,"Well, most nights. Mama don't let no ring get in the way of a good time.",2 2290,I'm in love with Zoey.,1 2291,None of this stuff...,2 2292,Here's the first thing you need to know about laser tag.,0 2293,"Me and Robin. Me and Robin, I have to make one more call.",1 2294,"It's so much better when you said but with me, it turned into an argument. And when we started arguing, it starts to mutate and multiply.",3 2295,"It's cool. Time to activate plan B. Scherbotsky, how comfortable are you with a crossbow? Scherbotsky?",0 2296,Really?,4 2297,"Marshall, your dad went through a lot of trouble to set this up. You can't just pull out at the last second.",2 2298,"Okay, it's not p*rn, it's a kids' show.",4 2299,Why are you doing this to me?!,3 2300,Look who I ran into!,2 2301,"What is your problem? This is the big break of Ted!You have betrayed to work in the brain of a Tyrannosaurus, which, incidentally, if you knew the dinosaurs is very, very small.",3 2302,"Well, he didn't have anywhere else to go, and I didn't know what to say. Is it really that big a deal?",4 2303,"Lily, he can't see my legs like this. I look like a Turkish lesbian",4 2304,Get in the car.,2 2305,"... Until more advanced maneuvers, such as the Ms. Stinsfire.",0 2306,"It's a lot of pressure, isn't it?",1 2307,"Well... good luck out there, Jen.",1 2308,"LILY WAIT, THE SHIRT! I KNOW, IT WAS A MISTAKE!",1 2309,You really think that's true?,3 2310,"Oh, you went around the bride. "Oh, this hornet's nest looks harmless. Maybe I'll poke it with a stick. Oh, look, some gremlins, let me go feed them after midnight." Did you known about this?",3 2311,Ted. Ted you should see this.,4 2312,"OK, I'll do it! Stop being a couple.",0 2313,"Wow. Gael, you're peeing while I'm in the shower. Okay. Okay, old Robin would have been like, dude, ocupado. But now, you know what, I'm cool with it. Pee it up. In fact, when you're done, why won't you come in here and join me?",4 2314,"Barney? I was looking for you. I have tickets for the hockey game tonight. It's stupid. Want to go? It can run late, we could go see a drink after.",4 2315,Really? I remember that sale.,1 2316,Aliens.,3 2317,"I love you, too.",1 2318,Lily.,0 2319,Scherbatsky... I'm gonna crush it.,1 2320,We're a dream a baby's having. We're a dream a baby's having.,4 2321,"Well, what happened?",2 2322,And here I am at the drum circle.,4 2323,Is anyone else suddenly craving green eggs and ham?,4 2324,"And I have 30 students in my class, which means, go, 30 times your hearing. We're going to buy Scotty a drink for old teacher. Scotty then, a question on neoclassical architecture, and it's good.",1 2325,"Will in, little rascal! I'll see you at the bar?",0 2326,What?,1 2327,I'm still friends with Punchy.,1 2328,"Yeah, that's me.",1 2329,"Oh, it gives us a rare insight into the makings of Barney Stinson. Like, look at this. Who was a cute little basketball player before he became the biggest pervert in the world?",2 2330,Lily did not discover. I have a system.,3 2331,"Oh, Robin, I'm gonna tell you for real. Simon's a dawg. You feel me, Chelle?",2 2332,Listen to the Sparky book again.,3 2333,This morning.,1 2334,"There is, little lady. I've got a guest room.",1 2335,Hi. Barney Stinson.,0 2336,"I'm not coming up there, Robin, I'm not. You have to come down here!",1 2337,I know not what I was doing. I had panic there.,1 2338,This thing with your uncle.,4 2339,Marshall!,2 2340,Why don't you admit that your girlfriend challenging your every move is getting you a little m*rder?,2 2341,"Weird meats, funny music, side of rice. Why are we splitting hairs?",0 2342,Six cups of mayonnaise? That can't be right.,2 2343,"I'm working on it, darling. Okay? Just stall them.",3 2344,"Oh, no, what'd you fight about? (He puts his headphones on).",0 2345,"Marshall, I'm sorry. I just... I just need to go to San Francisco and do this art program and figure out who I am outside of us. And the only way that I can do that is if we don't talk for a while.",2 2346,"Come on! You've been doing wedding stuff nonstop. Take a break. Once you're married, if we go out and you get so drunk you throw up, it'll be sad, but if we do it tonight... it'll be less sad.",1 2347,Say yes to that.,4 2348,"What? Let me see. Sixty... Once. Oh, my God. Wait...I counted the same girl twice? That means I'm only at 198?",0 2349,I will fix it but promise me not to do anything stupid.,2 2350,Hey.,0 2351,Upset me? Wait a second. Do you think that......Do you think that I'm jealous of Bob?,1 2352,We...,0 2353,"Mm-hmm. You, too.",4 2354,"Well, it turns out that Heads or Tails has a job opening.",4 2355,"Let's leave, then the waving will make sense.",2 2356,Ted.,1 2357,"How it happened at school today, Ted?",2 2358,Okay. I call it. But it is 4:30 am. It will not be awakened.,4 2359,"Come on, Ted. She left you on the altar.",0 2360,"Actually, I already made my decision. Friends, I must accept.",4 2361,"It is an art. The noble art, as it were.",1 2362,"OK, I'm going to give you a choice. Either ten slaps right now in a row or five slaps that can be doled at any point from here to eternity.",2 2363,"Uh, Zoey, um, did you just say you were out with friends?",1 2364,"Judy, do you need a break? I'm happy to cook for a while.",2 2365,a deal!,2 2366,"Come on, Lily. We're running out of time.",1 2367,Are you kidding? You guys never talk about anything.,2 2368,"Musky scent of man.",3 2369,You will perhaps have to do it again.,2 2370,"So he's the guy who... How shall I say this like a gentleman? Robin, did he take your maple leaf?",3 2371,Hi! I'm here to help Marshall.,1 2372,"OK, fine, I have feelings for him. Happy? Lily: Kinda, yeah.",4 2373,I left it somewhere... I forget.,3 2374,"You want to go to the current GNB building and just... I dunno, just a little pee on it?",3 2375,"About a month ago, I started getting insomnia. Marrying Marshall had been all I wanted for a long time. But, now that it was really happening, it seemed kind of huge and scary.",2 2376,"That's adorable. Ted, you're such a hayseed. The companionship business is the growth industry of the 21st century. You do realize that one out of every eight adult women in America is a prostitute.",0 2377,"No, Ted. Brunch is not cool.",0 2378,"Oh right. Most amazing night ever, and go.",2 2379,"Barney, are you wearing sweat pants?",1 2380,Or you could tell him you're into him and then you could both be happy.,2 2381,"Yeah. Check it. I just drove a pedicab 26 blocks, and I still smell incredible. Smell me.",0 2382,"After he proposed a career change, I made an impromptu presentation with a four-step approach that put him in the knee.",1 2383,no.,0 2384,"Then why don't we take, a rabbit, a duck, stick 'em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out?",1 2385,Barney?,1 2386,"Okay, I did not know. Mea culpa. So, from now, more lies. I never lie to you. I'm serious. Ask me anything.",0 2387,"Robin, I'm sorry. You're not a robot. If you are, you are a very advanced model, and the human race has no chance. You did not choose to show your love through rituals tacky, and that's good. But maybe we did that because we have always done and we know no other way. What I know is that if there sitting alone at the airport, I have to go get her.These are the rules.",3 2388,What's the matter? You look rattled.,4 2389,I have not slept with Mitch because he was naked.,4 2390,A max.,2 2391,"Yeah, sure. Anything you want.",4 2392,"You know, first day at college, I showed up, I was so freaked out and I got up to my room and there was my roommate, lying on the bed with his feet up on the wall. He had headphones on, a big smile on his face like he just didn't give a crap. Happy. Confident. Not afraid of anything. That guy was you. You before you met Lily.",1 2393,Yeah? Craps?,1 2394,"Because I live here. That's right. I live here. Yes, we're full of crap. Yes, we pretended to be from out of town so we could sleep with you and leave in the morning. But you know what's even worse than that?! Saying you're a new yorker when you're not. Because, this is the greatest city in the world and you have to earn the right to call yourself a new yorker. So why don't you girls crawl into the open sewer pipe you call the Holland tunnel and flush yourselves back to "pretty much New York"? Because I will do a lot to get laid, but I am not going to New Jersey!",1 2395,It's face.,0 2396,"Marshall, you have to get over this paranoia. You are not gonna get mugged.",1 2397,And the way it...,2 2398,Thank you.,1 2399,"No, after I hosed you down with a beverage g*n, I brought you back here.",0 2400,"I remember in college, Maggie wanted to be a marine biologist by day and tutor children in difficulty at night. What you ended up doing?",2 2401,"Okay, you're making yourself crazy. It's Saturday night. Go out and do something.",4 2402,You're a millionaire art thief casing the joint for a thrill money can no longer give you!,3 2403,Yep. That's a wrap.,0 2404,All right. Yes. I... hate you.,1 2405,You've hit with a chair?,0 2406,"Yeah. Yeah, just like that.",4 2407,Emily?!,2 2408,Robin! Pull yourself together! (The timer sounds and "something sprung from the game) What just happened?,1 2409,Here's what I would do if I were you.,4 2410,"Oh, Robin, that's a really cute outfit.",2 2411,So that's what we hide you? You did not want people to know that you're a momma's boy.,2 2412,"Ted, it looks like this guy asks you to design...",4 2413,"Oh, Ted, relax, it's Cuban. People pay to have their car smell like this.",0 2414,I can think of tons of things there's no way Marshall told you,0 2415,You're not a bit old for that stupid doll?,4 2416,"You must come to Brazzaville, in New Jersey to take me out.",0 2417,I'm thinking about giving some money to charity.,0 2418,Why are you in our room? (Robin's turn to...) Why are you in our room? (Followed by Ted) Why Ellen DeGeneres is in our room?,3 2419,"Hey, do you think they'll have Wookiee to English dictionaries there? I mean, even just an everyday phrase book would be helpful.",3 2420,It's OK. They offer me another.,4 2421,"Wow. Looks like bye-bye, iPod.",2 2422,I was color blind for two weeks after that.,1 2423,With the girl from the elevator. You're with her tonight?"Dude naked"!,0 2424,It will not come out. Remember when she talked of going to college here? And then the day of admission...,1 2425,So these guys... One of them's an architect.,4 2426,"Try to sleep with seven women in seven nights, that's not what I would call "very well get out." It is a cry for help.",2 2427,What? Where?,2 2428,Doesn't matter. Robin hates kids.,1 2429,So are you in or not?,3 2430,"Testing me, that's insane.",1 2431,"I wanted to ask about the novel you're writing right now, but um...",4 2432,I'm gonna go with the five for eternity.,0 2433,"Sorry, I'm, uh, I... I- I don't know, washing my hair.",2 2434,'Cause it's p*rn.,0 2435,It's positive.,2 2436,Nice recovery. I think it's working.,0 2437,Archie Bunker's neighbor was George Jefferson.,0 2438,"(repeats like a parrot) So, what do you think? (squawks)",2 2439,Karen is here?,2 2440,Nothing to be done. I will not sit here and insult me.We're not going to the airport. We go. (The snowplow passes and buried under the snow) It's been what?,4 2441,"You know what? This may be because... when it's good, you know.",3 2442,"Well, I'm gonna call Dr. Stangel. It can't hurt.",2 2443,Not bad. You got maybe something.,0 2444,"Ted, it's a poem. Last call was approaching, and my fortunes looked bleak. Then I turned to my left and stifled a shriek. She had a peach fuzz beard and weighed 16 stone. She gobbled up hot wings and swallowed the bones. I muffled a scream and threw up in my mouth.I asked, "where do you live?"And she said, "one block south.". I swallowed my pride and six shots of whiskey. And prayed to the gods that she wasn't too frisky. Back in her cave, she prepared us a snack. 'neath her mighty hooves, the floorboards did crack. But when she returned, she found a sound sleeper. And thus she became the sexless innkeeper. And so are you",0 2445,We should just spend the first 24 hours after a piece of cake.,1 2446,"Robin, how can I possibly live up to that review?",1 2447,I think sometimes it's the case.,2 2448,Lil...,1 2449,"Sweetie... It would be cool to have some extra money, but, but, if you're unhappy, it's not worth it.",2 2450,Wait. Is that what this whole stupid running thing has been about?,1 2451,I win.,0 2452,Mhmm.,4 2453,Someone won a trip buttocks until the first dance floor of the canyon of spanking!,4 2454,"Which is funny, because usually it's the innkeeper who offers turndown service. Oh!",4 2455,"It's funny. When you date someone, it's like you're taking one long course in who that person is and then, when you break up, all that stuff becomes useless. It's the emotional equivalent of an English degree. I guess I just liked the idea of putting all my Robin Scherbatsky knowledge to good use, you know?",1 2456,Thank you.,0 2457,"Well then, to the last Fourth of July weekend I'll spend getting eaten alive by mosquitoes.",0 2458,... never...,2 2459,"Bluntly. I think. Perhaps. I dunno, you think what?",1 2460,"First of all, Bob and I are not sleeping together. We're just dating. Secondly, have I said one word about the parade of dubious conquests you've been marching past me the last few months? One of whom got you a butterfly tattoo?",4 2461,"No, I'm fine.",3 2462,Hi!,4 2463,"Wine... not? Well, that's the stupidest thing I've ever said.",1 2464,You never gonna believe what just happened.,2 2465,"Don't worry. Relax. We'll get you a veil, honey.",4 2466,"I'll show you. "Dad, there's, uh, there's something I need to tell you, and it's going to come as a bit of a shock to you, but here goes. You are speaking to the 2011 Tri-County Laser Tag Co-Champion".",0 2467,Bowl.,1 2468,"Okay, I left Don another message.",4 2469,Oh yeah!,3 2470,Bowl,1 2471,... we...,0 2472,"Stuart, you are so... That's not gonna be us, right? I mean, how hard can it be to name a baby?",3 2473,"If serious, this is too funny.",0 2474,This is outrageous. Thou hast embraced evil!,0 2475,Marine biologist.,1 2476,"Okay, I'll do it!",1 2477,I know.,2 2478,"What should I do? I should totally go down there, right?",1 2479,Really...,0 2480,"Robin, nothing to add?",1 2481,It was the first week of college. I was way into Wu-Tang Clan.,2 2482,"Eh, he kept me waiting. I can keep him waiting.",4 2483,So the tour is canceled and you really have lied to me.,1 2484,Where are they?! I'm getting a cramp.,3 2485,"Kids, have I ever told you the story of how I met your father?",4 2486,"I destroyed an $8,000 wedding dress.",2 2487,Ejected!,4 2488,"Alright, we threw two parties. Everybody had fun. Everybody wanged, everybody chunged. Now the kid has got to get to work, and the kid is not to be disturbed. Repeat after me, "I will not have sex with Marshall".",3 2489,A fight. We gotta go?,1 2490,Not so great that.,0 2491,Did you just say "snakes"?,1 2492,"Uh, hi again. Ted. Oh, and, Jerry, you remember my girlfriend.",1 2493,What do you want for dinner?,1 2494,"Hey, check out this one. It actually looks like Butterfield.",0 2495,Okay. Convinced.,2 2496,"Well, it's back on.",4 2497,"'Sup, Blauman? b*mb here. We still on for karaoke? Dope. I'm going to rock you on the mike so hard your hears are going to bleed gravy. Catch you on the flip, butt puppet.",3 2498,Nothing.,1 2499,"Why, am I under arrest?",0 2500,Fine. This night's a little awkward.,4 2501,(To Ted) We're going to Sascha's?,0 2502,Dad?,0 2503,"Lily, come on. I'm proud of you. Who-who bought it?",3 2504,This tower was the dream job and it went up in smoke.,1 2505,"Well, they might be. Donna Bromstead's husband is a cop.",1 2506,"Yes. The chain of screaming starts at the top. Arthur's boss's boss screams at Arthur's boss. Arthur's boss screams at Arthur. Arthur screams at you. You go home and scream at Lily. Lily screams at one of the kids in her kindergarten class. Then that kid screams at her dad, Arthur's boss's boss. And the whole thing starts all over again, Thus completing the circle of screaming.",0 2507,"Marshall, Geez.",0 2508,"No, wait, wait! Of c... of course I believe in you!",3 2509,"Uh, okay, while not all of us possess your lofty sense of decorum, Drug-DealerFrom-An-'80s-After-School-Special, we have to laugh today. It's healthy.",1 2510,"I do not feel well to the idea of lying to a woman so warm, OK? It reminds me of my mother. What?",3 2511,What's happening?,3 2512,"Yeah, we like hot dogs.",3 2513,"Okay, guys, come on. It's a kids' show! Like Electric Company or Sesame Street or, um...",4 2514,"My God, what a band of cowards! Frightened by the slightest change. Terrified by all that is new. Desperate to cling to your comfort zone. I can not go to Japan. What was I thinking? It's so far. I speak the language. I have not even good pictures of you.",4 2515,This is my blanket. We'll see later. But I need these tables.,1 2516,Really? I seem to recall...,4 2517,Mmm... (muttering) I thought she was charming.,1 2518,"Uh, no, uncle. Jerome Whittaker is my uncle.",0 2519,"I have the chance to build a skyscraper in the best city on Earth, and who's the one leading the charge to k*ll that dream? My girlfriend!",1 2520,"Look, I know you don't care about this stuff, but I'm about to become a mother. And as a future mother, I'm gonna need the support...",2 2521,"I love your idea about a giant rooftop ring of fire you can jump through with a motorcycle, but I tweaked it slightly and... This is still super bad-ass. It's now a patio garden where you can bring a nice bag lunch.",1 2522,"It's okay. College Lily thinks those are orgasms. No, it's... it's none of that. It's just this new Marshall... Corporate Marshall... he wears suits all the time. He doesn't care about saving the world. He's not you. I want you back.",2 2523,It's for sure!,4 2524,"Shhh, shh. You're the v*ctim here. We both are. Let's get out of here.",0 2525,"It's not a rut, okay. It's a routine and I like it!",1 2526,It's a breast.,1 2527,"Come on. There is no question of moving his arms, stomping feet and get angry. This is Stella and I finally communicating. Clearly, it was...",1 2528,"No, it's... it's not like that. I'm just... it's, it's, it's.",1 2529,Friends. Plural. Like-Like there was more than one of me.,1 2530,I have changed my mind.,2 2531,(to himself) But she has a pug that she pushes around in a stroller.,3 2532,"Any Kim from any cool band, really. Can't be too picky.",1 2533,"Oh, I'm so glad.",4 2534,Throw me one? Yeah.,4 2535,"Wow, half? Ted, on behalf of Goliath National Bank...",0 2536,"Dude, Ted will be devastated.",3 2537,Okay. All right. I'll just... take my chair and leave.,0 2538,"So get this, I was on a date with this girl, Jackie.",0 2539,"Sorry. Oh, my God, this is Nora. She finally ended up reminding me.",0 2540,"Oh, so, Mary the paralegal. What does a paralegal do exactly?",4 2541,"Wow, who knew being committed in a heterosexual relationship could make a guy so gay.",0 2542,"No, it's not. It's fun. Here, watch this. Hey, Lily... Who's your daddy?",3 2543,You live in a two-bedroom apartment. You have one room just for your suits.,2 2544,They're barbecue.,4 2545,Wait... Where's Barney?,3 2546,"Do you know why you're not over Lily yet? It's 'cause you can still picture her naked. You can't get over a woman until you can no longer picture her boobs. It's a scientific fact. The average male brain can only store a finite number of boob images, or BPEGs and your hard drive's filled to capacity with Lily's.",0 2547,"Yeah, this is fun, right? We're outside, it's a beautiful day. The Indians are winning!",1 2548,Excuse me a moment. Estonia Baltic countries would complete!,0 2549,"Bigger like, uh, gorilla with an up-right bass? Sorry, you're really pretty. (Robin laughs and waves to her friends) Oh, your friends don't seem too happy.",1 2550,It can fly.,4 2551,"Wow, you seem to know a lot about husbands.",1 2552,"No, I can't, it's kind of a secret.",1 2553,With which you fought?,1 2554,"Yeah, I-I think it is so cool that you started your own law firm.",4 2555,The goat.,1 2556,"Or set me up with one of your friends. No, I'm kidding. That would be weird.",1 2557,"This is stupid. You know what, we forgot about this. I'm sure Ted did also.",3 2558,"That's enough, the trick of "old."",3 2559,You should know that I tried to contact the town hall so we could get the mayor on the show.,4 2560,"All right, stay there. I'm on my way.",1 2561,"So, you were an Olympic gymnast?",0 2562,"Hi, there. You know, we've had a lot of fun tonight...",0 2563,"Oh, great! I began to think that you would not come.",1 2564,"So now, whatever nice things Ted does for her, in her mind, I'm the guy who's even nicer than him.",0 2565,"So, what? You actually like this guy now?",1 2566,"Well, maybe if they weren't such idiots, I wouldn't have to call them that.",4 2567,Wait a minute. You're able to cross the threshold of a church?,1 2568,"Small town, big men, then tope.",0 2569,"Well, that's exactly the kind of crap to throw away.",4 2570,So it is?,1 2571,I don't know. Sometimes... things have to fall apart to make way for better things.,1 2572,"And we think this design will radiate timeless power and stability of the Goliath National Bank. Thank you, gentlemen.",1 2573,I put the forms there.,3 2574,"I don't think you need to be. I was at that party. It was dark, and granted, I had eaten quite a few sandwiches but I'm a hundred percent sure that unreasonably-small-mouth-opening girl was Alexa Leskies, it's not Lily.",3 2575,Let me do it. It was my idea to call the objects found in the prefecture.,1 2576,Mmm.,1 2577,"I guess, in a lot of ways, Barney doesn't stack up.",2 2578,It's fine.,4 2579,"Well, The Meatloaf Charlie?",2 2580,"Trainer with an ex okay, two at a pinch. Shit, two is even better. Because strawberry...",1 2581,What are you talking?,3 2582,I have seen plenty of other famous people. Last week I saw... Maury Povich.,4 2583,I didn't catch your name. Did you guys catch her name?,0 2584,13 years??!!,0 2585,Thanks.,0 2586,Yeah.,4 2587,"No, they're not because I'm not gonna give them the chance. I'm gonna find a ship captain and we're gonna be married tonight.",2 2588,"Yeah. So now, whatever I send her, she'll know I sent it after I talked to her. So that's the problem. You work on that. I'm gonna eat this cupcake.",1 2589,"Right, and if you recall, her computer had a web cam and a T-1 line, so I...",0 2590,We were gonna take cooking lessons together and we were gonna go on camping trips together and then we were gonna sit around telling funny stories about our cooking lessons and our camping trips.,2 2591,I'm tired and sad.,3 2592,"It was fun when we were younger, but we exceeded it. When mature, the relationship matures with us.",3 2593,"Jerry, we have got to get you home in time for that fishing trip.",0 2594,"Yes, yes, pep talk. You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can't. You're way out of practice and she is way too hot for you. So, remember, tonight isn't about scoring, it's about believing that you can do it even though you probably can't. Go get him, tiger.",0 2595,What do you mean?,2 2596,"Listen, Ted, um, I got to tell you something about Zoey.",3 2597,"Sorry, sir. This is... Architecture 101. Who invited their dad, right?",1 2598,I guess. Wait a minute. You said Liz was a total ten. Why would she want to meet the incontinent freak show you described? You oversold her!,1 2599,"We have a deadline, does not it?",1 2600,"Ah, Lily Aldrin, half of the world's most perfect couple! I was thinking about that woman's mouth comment, and I have three good comebacks. One: your mom didn't seem to mind it last night on her...",1 2601,"Boy, you've almost had us still.",2 2602,"I was gonna make a sandwich with that, Dad. Dad, don't they have food on the plane?",3 2603,"Whoa, you're up early.",1 2604,"My naked...? Oh, that's nothing. I was playing in a One Man Show at Fiddler. There was this scene...",0 2605,"Sorry, can not stay.",1 2606,And he's awesome. He looks nice in a suit.,4 2607,"Tell us, what was this concern?",0 2608,Mm-hm.,1 2609,"So, where should we eat today? (looking at the assistant with a whole chicken in a container) Oh awesome, you brought lunch for everyone? (the girl leaves, crying)",1 2610,"OK, let's do this.",2 2611,""And the cat is in the cradle and the silver spoon Little Boy Blue and the Man on the Moon. When are you going back home, Dad? I do not know when we're together then, son I know we will have a good time. "",0 2612,Yeah.,1 2613,"I'm glad you and Lily try to fix things. You want to welcome into our family, I would like to offer you the slap.",4 2614,So you need a hand throwing it out?,4 2615,Nope.,2 2616,Arrr-by's,2 2617,"Wow, this sundae looks so good I could eat the whole thing.",4 2618,Thanks for letting me see your aquarium. You save my life.,0 2619,"Then why is your right cheek twitching? It's not... maybe it's because future me slaps future you so hard, it reverberates back to the present, shattering the time-slap continuum.",3 2620,"All right, I'll tell you! My mother is selling the house I grew up in. All of my childhood memories gone, just like that!",0 2621,"That's... Nora. Sorry, sorry. I was thinking of a funny thing that Nora said. Hmm. Stop it. No... ra. Nah... Damn it, what is the matter with me?",0 2622,You know that is important to me. Why won't you just write the letter?,3 2623,Puzzles.,1 2624,Pretty.,2 2625,"Already? Oh, honey.",2 2626,We'll never know unless I try tonight.,0 2627,Exactly. Draw. But it's all about to change. Is it correct that you are an architect?,0 2628,And if I did not think the books?,1 2629,It's really bad outside. They will not.,1 2630,What are you talking about? He's forty-one.he looks great.,2 2631,"Don't stress, baby. I'll try to find us something relaxing.",3 2632,"So, first day of work?",1 2633,"You're the fifth double. How can you be you? I called you, Barney. And we talked about!",3 2634,"You guys, have fun of your duble date.",1 2635,You actually expect any of us are gonna come to your third wedding?,1 2636,Don't check your email.,2 2637,He will watch it.,3 2638,"Tell Dale not like that, ok? It is twice as good as you never will!",4 2639,"So big, that when you sit next to on the plane, you wonder if the check would not have had to buy two seats.",4 2640,She cried? Real tears? It means...,3 2641,"Oh, the art program, best thing ever.",2 2642,I'll tell what you win. I'm taking you away this weekend.,1 2643,That's where is my CD of Creed.,3 2644,"When I said I lied, that was a lie, and I'm sorry.",0 2645,"You know what? I feel bad for you Americans, that you can look at this wondrous and educational adventure through space, and see something obscene. Can you just please try to look at this with the innocence of a child?",4 2646,"Oh my God, there is some serious baskiceball going on out there. Dad totally nailed Marcus in the face with a snowball, which is a foul because you only get one snowball per possession, so I nailed him in the shin with my skate and I totally dunked it.",3 2647,"Yes, I drown the son of a bitch.",3 2648,"I slap bet Marshall that you did p*rn, so I win.",1 2649,And what was the second rule?,0 2650,Ooh and she's holding hot coffee. Maybe she'll throw it in your face.,2 2651,It's still in the family.,4 2652,"You know, if you reedit it, there's a tampon commercial in here somewhere. Do you seem how lame you were back then?",0 2653,So all those interesting people you met on the bus...?,1 2654,It... "Helped to move the sixth floor walk against pizza and beer.",0 2655,He looks like zero.,2 2656,"Oh, it's the same exact spelling as my name.",1 2657,"No. This is not true, no. This is not true, no. No. Robin is all yours, man. Exploding yourself with it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go sleep with other girls.",0 2658,Trudy?,3 2659,How could you not tell me this?!,1 2660,Of course.,1 2661,"Oh, Robin, hi. Um, no, Ted's not here tonight. He's, uh... he's working.",3 2662,Hey? What's taking so long? I have to go.,4 2663,"Oh, there was a snake in the swamp?",3 2664,Open it.,2 2665,Look. Three beautiful blondes drinking bad decision juice at 8am.,2 2666,That would be the right size.,1 2667,We're just not feeling it right now. But we'll totally still be friends.,4 2668,"Come on, Lily, the only way that that was a cockroach was if it was wearing the skin of a mouse it just k*ll.",3 2669,The monkeys attack people? It really is a jungle out.,1 2670,I can't believe I used to be able to eat a whole sandwich by myself. Now it's like two bites and I am done.,1 2671,Barney... I...,4 2672,"Damn, Marshall.",4 2673,"Oh, well, sure. I mean, if I was actually...",1 2674,"Baby, no. I have a twenty-five paged paper on unconstitutional law due on Monday, I barely started,",3 2675,It is perfectly normal.,2 2676,Lawyered.,1 2677,Stop cuddling! You got no right to interfere in my relationships you. You're lucky. You have found the love of your life in a dorm you turn 18. It gives you no right to play God while others are still looking for. You worry so much about who will finish with you on the porch. You know what? Keep it for you.,1 2678,"Your loss. All right, it's dead in here. I'm gonna call it a little early.",1 2679,"Oh, my God, is that how support feels? It's so warm and wonderful. Oh, Lily, I've been so unhappy.",1 2680,You think Cerrano's got a sh*t at the RBI title?,1 2681,Yeah... And steal her purse.,4 2682,No! You can not have children! You want to raise a child in this crazy world.,0 2683,"It's true... I had a friend astronaut, totally in love with his fiancee. On the eve of her mission, she surprised him with four other girls and two guys. It has become intense. She ended up sneaking into the space shuttle...",3 2684,"Apparently, Robin and PJ are together again.",3 2685,"I don't know, Ted, I don't know if I can just play along with your crazy girlfriend's fake story. Now, if you had said fake breasts...",0 2686,"Everything was going well. I felt more and more comfortable, more confident. I could conquer the world. One morning I'm in the eighth with a magazine.",3 2687,"Teddy bear... (They kiss, Barney mimes his death with a sword. Ted and Robin look at him and keep kissing)",4 2688,This is what happened in Paris?,4 2689,You want to have our wedding in two months? No. It's impossible.,2 2690,"I'm sorry. I've seen "Let's Go to the Mall" about a thousand times, and you, sir, are not in it.",0 2691,"Marshall, tell her. We're all friends here.",0 2692,"Come on, Lily, he'll find a job eventually.",1 2693,"Oh God, I didn't even think of that...",3 2694,I've moved up.,3 2695,"Then I make up some cabinet meeting, heart surgery, rocket test flight I've got to be at, slip out of the apartment and never call you again.",0 2696,Theodore.,0 2697,"It's all there. Everything, starting from the basic, like Le Bois Do Not Ca...",0 2698,"S *****, do not even think about.",2 2699,What?,4 2700,"Oh, wow!",0 2701,"And she meant it. Trust me. I dated Robin for a year-- if you don't want to lose her, you gotta try a little harder. Be more attentive to where she is emotionally. You know, just be present.",1 2702,Now you've spun him hiccups.,3 2703,Well...,4 2704,Maybe some other time.,0 2705,Stop! Too slow. Switch.,0 2706,"You're finished with the sports page, Sherbs?",1 2707,"That's terrible. Well, see ya.",0 2708,Oh...! These pancakes are delightful.,3 2709,Ooh! How did you do it?,2 2710,"What, that's it? You're upset because a guy talked loudly near you?",0 2711,How does it "end of discussion"? It never was.,1 2712,And the Heisman?,0 2713,You want to grab a drink right now?,0 2714,"Yeah, you're right. This is Cleveland. "In single file, girls. "",0 2715,"So, plasmas are better in low light, but the LCD is best to play?",0 2716,Want to go touch a bunch of stuff?,0 2717,""Happy 42nd Birthday, Lori."",2 2718,"Randy, hey, have you seen the...",3 2719,Aw... That's actually really sweet.,2 2720,"Well, technically not together. You won't have access to my floor.",0 2721,Lovers of wicker?,0 2722,"Yeah, we don't care about this...",4 2723,But you always said that Foxy Boxing girls were neither foxy nor good at boxing.,0 2724,"Ted, you sat here in this very booth and you said...",3 2725,"Right there. Leonard Kravitz, world-renowned architect. This guy is a star. He will make his famous reading of 90 minutes on the beams.",1 2726,Does it smell like strippers in here?,4 2727,"Lily, you have to get out of there this instant. That's not Moby.",1 2728,"And she sticks the landing. Why don't you start stretching, and I'll... be right back. Hey, hey, sorry.",0 2729,"It was legen-- wait for Ted to leave, 'cause he's now The Blitz-- -- dary. Legendary!",0 2730,"Everyone, this is Blah-blah.",1 2731,"Wait, you turned down the job? When?",3 2732,No. Don't you remember what you said to me when I was a kid? "Never stop partying.",0 2733,But that's part of his charm.,2 2734,"Lily, come on.",1 2735,"It was faultless. 7 nights, 7 girls, 0 rejection.",0 2736,They were together nine years. It's only been a month and a half. He just needs to go his own pace.,1 2737,"Zoey was married to this super rich, super creepy guy called The Captain. So when Zoey and I became friends, I was careful not to cross any lines.",1 2738,"Hi Nora, thank you for coming.",0 2739,You're acting like he has six months to live.,4 2740,It's gonna be Ted.,4 2741,"You said what, you got to drink!",3 2742,"Not what it sounds like, folks.",1 2743,"There is no reason to take it seriously, though?",1 2744,Robin puts it.,1 2745,"Apartouze". You have what?,0 2746,"I can't believe you, of all people, are saying this.",1 2747,Don't worry. We'll... We'll snap Barney out of this when he gets back.,2 2748,The business returns for Mr. Popol.,3 2749,Potato chips.,2 2750,Is it something I did?,2 2751,"And we could not be more proud of you, my angel.",0 2752,Winning? There are no points.,2 2753,"Tell not the end! This is what I would say, if ever, I wanted to see a movie as bad. Continues.",3 2754,They always told me that working at a big law firm was like being at w*r...,3 2755,The what?,1 2756,"Look at your beer, dude. You always do that when you're nervous.",3 2757,I do not either.,1 2758,I may have made some wildly inappropriate homoerotic comments to a gentleman wearing your shoes.,3 2759,"Deer carcass, really? That's the metaphor you're going for?",1 2760,I wonder what end it's coming out of Lily right now.,0 2761,Definitely not "Jeremy." His stuff was so derivative.,2 2762,Yeah. Good night.,1 2763,You're kidding!,0 2764,"Okay, you can look. Just-just-just be cool for once.",1 2765,Lisa?!,3 2766,And I forgive you. Now I can have my place and meet Lenny Kravitz?,4 2767,And the two little...,2 2768,"No, I didn't say, "He a dawg." I said, "He's a dog." As in, a dog. I think we've all noticed a few curious mannerisms. Or rather, doggerisms.",3 2769,Bluntly.,1 2770,"Right, well...",1 2771,Take care. Bye.,2 2772,"Judy, I...",4 2773,"I totally understand the game, Theodore. Barney, split your tiles. You can triple your money if you find the jellybean.",3 2774,Stanley Cup game six? The Rangers will regret having met with the Canucks.,4 2775,I don't understand. Why would you fire me?,0 2776,"No, this is not one. They had the wrong table. You can imagine we are married?",0 2777,"Uh, you didn't win. I gave it to you.",1 2778,Of course.,4 2779,You're leaving?,4 2780,"Iron Man." I could do "Iron Man.",3 2781,"Sit. Good boys. Okay, remember, stay out of the liquor cabinet. I'll see you tonight.",4 2782,"The olive theory is based on my friends, Marshall and Lily. He hates olives, she loves them. In a weird way that's what makes them such a great couple. A Perfect balance (eats olive).",1 2783,"Robin, you've got to get over this Ted and Victoria thing. You had your chance, and now he's moved on. Can't you just be happy for them?",2 2784,Thank you.,3 2785,"Because you are sat here all night. You could leave, but you did not. Listen, Nora, these lies, it was the old me. But I swear I try to change.You... make me want to change.",0 2786,yeah!,3 2787,"My full name is Robin Charles Scherbatsky, Jr. And it only got worse.",4 2788,Yep.,1 2789,"My rule of three days, it is anything. Who invented it?",1 2790,"No marriage will be as bad as that one, huh?",1 2791,Let me talk about him. He keeps saying that nobody should have children before 45 years.,2 2792,I have others. Ties-Fun-man.,3 2793,Her ass?,0 2794,"No, Barney, this is as far as we're going to go. I'm not showing anymore...",4 2795,It's BarnExclussif.,0 2796,"One second, Ted. Um, you know, a lot of people ask me that. The truth is,",4 2797,"Are you kidding? She'd sprint down here with a purse full of singles and a poncho for the 10:30 Jell-O show. BT-Dub, I called ahead it's lime.

(Barney joins them at the booth) Barney. I brought a copy of the bracket. Which one is she?,3 2837,"Honestly, I played a really Ted, I tried not to be him.",1 2838,Tell them about the underpants.,1 2839,Wow.,0 2840,Bluntly.,1 2841,It was New Year's tradition But you know what we did this year?,2 2842,Gobstoppers.,1 2843,"(hugging her) Oh, sweetie. Can I get you some butterscotch?",2 2844,"No! No! If you call her, when she asked you not to, you're just gonna look weak and you're gonna regret it. Now, listen. Whenever you feel like calling her, you come find me first... and I will punch you in the face.",1 2845,"(Subtitle) Oh hey, I can't see her face. Is she hot?",0 2846,"Oh, Quinn? Yeah?",3 2847,"Hey, Randy. Could you come here for a minute? (Randy releases a box. And comes in Barney's office by running) Good news. I'm calling you up to the majors. Starting tomorrow night, how would you like to be my new wingman?",0 2848,So you're not mad?,0 2849,"Yeah bro, up top.",3 2850,The iPod was on shuffle! (Rock music stops) The Jerky Boys! Our baby heard the Jerky Boys!,2 2851,That rocked.,4 2852,Pause!,2 2853,Just stop it! No one's buying a bar. Right now we have a little problem. Let's just think of a solution.,2 2854,"Robin, look I didn't invite you to this party to set you up with Carlos. Or the one before that. Or the one before that. (Robin smiles) I threw these parties because I wanted to see you.",1 2855,"Could happen at any time and obliterate all life on earth, which is why I live by three simple words. Don't postpone joy.",1 2856,"Relax, everything is under control.",4 2857,What?,2 2858,We totally have to get that brown dipping sauce.,2 2859,I am impressed. For you too have worn it all day?,4 2860,Ooh. terrible.,0 2861,"Hey, baby.",3 2862,"Ha ha ha. It's not gonna get happen... but yeah, do that!",4 2863,"Hey, man.",2 2864,I don't hate kids.,4 2865,"Yeah, you did.",3 2866,They look at us.,0 2867,"Well, yeah.",2 2868,"God, the idea of standing up there in front of all those people who hate my guts... Just makes me want to run off to Atlantic City and get married today.",2 2869,He just walked out of the apartment. Someone must've left the door open.,1 2870,I'm ready. This is the big night. Removing your seed melon-headed in my belly.,2 2871,Not a drop.,4 2872,So what about becoming an environmental lawyer? What about saving the world?,2 2873,Right. Sorry. We're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's talk Thanksgiving.,3 2874,I'll give you the crab puffs. The crab puffs are good.,2 2875,It always does.,0 2876,"It's a shame, too. She was a really great laser tag partner. She's tiny, so she's allowed to push kids.",0 2877,"Sweetie, this is crazy. You're never gonna find a ship capt...",4 2878,No. I do not know what she's doing there. It must have fallen into it. Bizarre!,4 2879,Ted begged me not to. I think he's in love with you.,0 2880,"Wait, Ted, Barney has a point. Remember what happened with me and curt down at the station?",4 2881,Fort Lau-ger-Dale! Get it?,2 2882,"You know, it was great. I met this crazy girl, I almost got a tattoo. Don't worry, I didn't. But it was... It was amazing. I think it's safe to say, I am winning this breakup.",1 2883,Another cake?!,3 2884,"So, what do you want to do next?",1 2885,"Ted, what's the first syllable in rutting (trying to make it sound like "routine". Ted gives in and jumps in the cab) Peace out, suckers. (Cab speeds off.)",0 2886,"Casey, that's not how we treat people. You'll get this back when you learn to be nice.",2 2887,"...and there's theChryslerBuilding. And the Empire State Building. And at 12:00, a rotund couple going at it against the glass.",1 2888,No.,1 2889,"Bravo, Lily. I mean, what a b*mb. Who saw this coming?",3 2890,Best man? You're being summoned.,2 2891,"How you feeling, Counselor?",4 2892,It happened... you left a wild animal in our apartment. I've been attacked.,1 2893,What?,3 2894,It's not over.,4 2895,It's... just... if... Excuse me one second.,0 2896,Are you sure?,0 2897,"No "You not married, Ted?" No "You're making a big mistake, Ted?" Have you stopped the fight against marriage?",2 2898,That's you?,3 2899,"Wherever you are, or whoever you're under, you must get home alone by 11:59 p.m. Otherwise, you're on a date on Valentine's Day.",0 2900,"Okay, well, it was a long time ago, okay? I get a Christmas card from her every year, but we're not really friends anymore.",4 2901,You can not.,2 2902,I just... I just don't want everything in my life to be decided already.,2 2903,"I swear to you, I did not.",2 2904,I didn't catch your name. Did you guys catch her name?,0 2905,It goes back to my birth.,4 2906,"Baby, I can not do that. I have to tell someone that we are pregnant.",3 2907,"It's fantastic, Mr Cootes!",3 2908,"It's getting late, I'll get your coats.",1 2909,This is taking forever. Are you sure you did it right?,3 2910,You're right next door!,4 2911,"Stella has not found a babysitter, you're stuck. Instead, we'll all stay here and it'll be awesome.",1 2912,"Uh, I don't know. Things have been so weird between us.",4 2913,She's an architecture nerd! A hot architecture nerd! That's the dream!,1 2914,Too great.,1 2915,Someone's trying to break in-- call the cops.,1 2916,"Dude, are you kidding? It's you and Lily! I've been there for all the big moments of you and Lily. The night you met. Your first date... other first things.",1 2917,You know what? I'll take one.,3 2918,Thanks Carl.,1 2919,I'm going home.,2 2920,Bluntly!,1 2921,"Dear Ted future, never returns with Karen, because it is a pretentious snob. And she has deceived you. Sorry that you discover the way. You see? We laugh now.",1 2922,"You know, he mentioned he was divorced last night. I totally spaced on that. Ooh, no line at the omelet station.",0 2923,I want to hear!,1 2924,"You having fun? Lily: Yeah, but I kinda miss you. Could you stay in here for a little bit?",3 2925,"Whatever it is, we can talk now.",1 2926,She hugged me. What was that all about?,0 2927,Wow.,1 2928,I'm going. He needs a brother. Hey buddy.,1 2929,I went out with this guy.,4 2930,"Look, it did.",0 2931,Mr. Goat? It's a girl. Her name is Missy.,2 2932,"I'm not even here. Randy, the coffee.",0 2933,"With her new hippie husband, Clint. The comfort of home is a little ruined when someone turns your old room into what I'm pretty sure is a Tantric sex temple. With all the bamboo, pot smoke and '60s music, it's like my old G.I. Joes are frozen in some weird Vietnam flashback.",1 2934,"Oh, come on, Robin. Barney's not the type of guy who would... Go on.",2 2935,This one is better?,0 2936,"I guess you could stay open longer. As it is you and the group? (The bar is crowded) Melissa, what kind of group is it?",1 2937,"If it's a lie, it's really bad. And I will do what?",1 2938,"Hey, is this milk any good?",1 2939,"Flared nostril ridges. Wide, unblinking eyes. If you ever, ever see this face, Barney, run. And don't take a picture of it. She will punch you. And you will cry... for the third time... that night. Which brings us to an important point: defusing the b*mb.",1 2940,"You do not need a w*apon. All studies in the world come together to say that a home is safer with no w*apon, especially ours. You know how I ever hurt you unintentionally.",3 2941,"Come on. Mr. Officer, please, my wife is having a baby! She just lost the waters!",0 2942,"(realizing) No, you are too old to be scared to open a bottle of champagne!",2 2943,"Ted, I only have one rule.",0 2944,"Oh, the farm. I'm sorry, is that you have experienced something traumatic, and we try to be there for you, but do not you leave us, and it irritates us, selfish little whore. Sorry.",2 2945,Okay. But will you be happy knowing you could have made her a lot happier.,0 2946,It's a real job.,3 2947,Today's your birthday! I... I didn't get you anything.,1 2948,"Well, we're in love.",2 2949,"Nothing. It's a game, I gotta just-keep playing it.",1 2950,"Yeah, right.",0 2951,"Speaking of disappointing weenies... Ted, tell them what you told me.",0 2952,But no.,1 2953,That's not true.,1 2954,You knew before you start. (Lily gets up to join his bed) Wait. Forget your sweater. Nice try.,3 2955,You have a group? We will perhaps see you.,1 2956,"No, Marshall, we are gonna get married today.",2 2957,thank you God.,0 2958,"You are correct, Sir.",4 2959,"Betty, I'm pretty sure it's pronounced "chamma-leeon," so... Class dismissed. No homework. For a while.",1 2960,"No, no, I understand. Your origins are part of what you sell. Moreover, in 'Special jurisdiction' on my resume, I put that in Minnesota, I was dunk champion Nicollet County in 1995.",3 2961,Thanks.,1 2962,"Come, let's check.",3 2963,I'm portraying someone who succumbs to peer pressure.,3 2964,"No, I'm not.",1 2965,"Shannon, there is no...",0 2966,"You are unbelievable, Marshall. No-(Scene splits in half and shows both Lily and Marshall on top arguing and Ted and Yasmine on the bottom mingling)",2 2967,"Marshall, you can't tell sex stories about "this chick," because everyone knows it's me.",2 2968,"It was amazing. He was passionate, animalistic, a complete stud.",2 2969,Is it over? I call on top.,2 2970,Ooh.,4 2971,"Thanks, baby. (phone chirps) Oh. Ooh, I gotta go. The invitations are ready. The party's for a bunch of environmentalists, so I found a guy downtown who makes biodegradable party invitations that can also be used as toilet paper.",3 2972,"No, it's just, um... I'm just a little embarrassed. I thought this was a date. But it's no big deal. Don't worry about it.",1 2973,"Yes, because it is... this kind.",1 2974,"I... What do you think it was, Murray?",3 2975,"What, this old stuff?",1 2976,"Marshall? Knowing how important it is for me, you think that Lily... I would do the job...",0 2977,"Honey, come down here, please.",2 2978,Yes! Where the bartenders wear sexy judges' robes.,1 2979,Hmm! Did you know that Barney is French for "sad little guy who works way too hard to get laid"",4 2980,How dare you?,0 2981,"This is a dream, right? Because, Barney, I swear to God, if that's you...",1 2982,"Dude, you got to flick it.",3 2983,"Why would anyone lie? Look, Zoey and I are just friends. If there was anything more than that, I wouldn't hang out with her.",1 2984,"Uh, if there were any shame in a dude getting a pedicure I don't think there would have been a feature about it in Details magazine.",0 2985,"Aldrin Justice, the last word.",1 2986,7:30.,2 2987,I wear this jumpsuit since 1:30!,0 2988,You're welcome.,0 2989,"She made reservations for two deluxe rooms, massages, and dinner at the Palm, and in return, I made her cookies.",0 2990,"Wait, my eyes or my testicles? Lily: One of each.",0 2991,Just a new website. Slapcountdown.com.,3 2992,"Let me guess: Did Marshall get, like, super intense about the cheese?",1 2993,And then you slip it to the guy with a discreet handshake and he'll get it done.,0 2994,"This is good. We're learning stuff. You know what we should do? We should retrace the rest of that night and figure out what else we do wrong on first dates. 'Cause let's be honest, we are scaring people off, Jen.",1 2995,"Oh, my God, guys! Great new game: "Drunk or child? "I was what? Guess.",3 2996,You're right. I owe you a real breakup call. I'll call you tomorrow.,1 2997,This is a disgusting issue.,4 2998,Oww,0 2999,Trapped under a fake boulder at the mall? Robin: Let it go.,1 3000,"No, we're not. We're ugly and gross.",3 3001,There was no lull. You just think he's incredibly hot.,3 3002,Of course not!,2 3003,"Oh, God! Ow... Why would you do that to your own jacket?!",3 3004,"Hey. Um, Lily, question for you. Why did I find Mr. Druthers' baseball signed three times by Pete Rose in your desk drawer?",1 3005,I do not understand any of these words.,2 3006,She told you? Great. I guess you marrez my back all this time.,0 3007,Wow.,4 3008,I just touches the bottom of the net. You know my legs are so bad that I have a hard time getting approved.,3 3009,"Don't b*at yourself up. He'll be fine. I mean, the guy's like a billionaire. He can put his platinum card on a fishing line and reel in 10 chicks hotter than you.",0 3010,"Oh, God. What did they find?",1 3011,"No, I mean it.",3 3012,Hey.,2 3013,"(On Phone) Marshall, we're going to Sascha's!",0 3014,"The only reason I'm jealous of Bob is that we can only talk about the first Thanksgiving,",1 3015,I don't-I don't know.,4 3016,I have to save the planet!,3 3017,"OK, let's not lose hope. We'll call the hotel, maybe she was staying there. We'll have them check the registry for anyone named Victoria. Or maybe she goes by Vicky or Tori...",2 3018,What do you mean? Ted: When someone wants to set you up they always tell you the good qualities first but then they leave out their huge flaw.,2 3019,You neither.,0 3020,Why not?,1 3021,"Well, I think. It may take a while to recover, but... You had a thrill?",4 3022,"Maybe I will not avoid it. I am perhaps. I have not wanted for a long time. But with you, it does not look so...difficult. I know not. I thought... you felt the same.",0 3023,(angrier) Uh-huh...,2 3024,But isn't it nice to know that people are watching?,0 3025,Zero.,1 3026,"Lily, here's what you just said: "Ted, whatever you do, don't go up there. There's a beautiful girl who wants to have sex with you. And then she's gonna make you some delicious juice."",3 3027,Unpause?,2 3028,Lily's been arrested.,3 3029,"And you know what? I think he was Asian. Yeah, this guy was a little Asian with a graying goatee and belly.",2 3030,"Yes, spaghetti with meatballs... Mate it. Look!",1 3031,Thank you.,0 3032,Hang up now!,1 3033,I would not?,3 3034,"Anyway, uh, we're psyched to be here, Kendall. What do you need us to do?",1 3035,I dance... more than you think.,3 3036,Barney will take the envelope of cash I gave him and head straight into our trap.,4 3037,Yeah.,3 3038,No. No! I cannot go back to that strip club. I seen some things.,1 3039,Vans have doors-- let me see your hair.,1 3040,Marshall?,2 3041,don't k*ll the bar dude.,3 3042,It was ri... it was right here. It was... it was right on this very spot.,3 3043,"We gotta go. Goodbye, my dear friends. You were always there for me. We will miss you.",0 3044,"Come on. She will not like it. It's funny for the guys, not girls.",1 3045,"Well, I'll believe that when I see it.",4 3046,"I have to really work, so...",1 3047,"I've supported when our neighbor, Mr. Sias, died in your sight.",3 3048,Nice shirt!,4 3049,No one likes the dark.,4 3050,They're my feet. I'm actually more of a kicker. So I went to his apartment.,1 3051,How was the audition?,2 3052,"Isn't it sad? I mean in 2007, some countries actually still condone corporal punishment.",2 3053,"Look, do you want a quality suit and a free rabbit or not? Ted, Sergei says stop moping around. You're distracting him from his process.",0 3054,"It's all a big lie! She's just gonna break your heart! (Men drag Marshall out of the stadium) You can drag me outta here, but she has no soul!",3 3055,Credit card... s.,2 3056,It's The Diver.,1 3057,"Uh, okay, listen, I think we've made great progress for today. I got to go. Bye. Mom! Marcus!",3 3058,What just happened?,0 3059,What?! I thought it would break the ice.,1 3060,"You think I can not blow a fine? You think I can not blow my fine? I am Barney Stinson, master of manipulation. If I managed to make me pay for a stripper to dance, I can blow a fine. Challenge accepted... wait.",0 3061,Yeah? Hard to believe.,3 3062,"Ted going all castrati over another girl is exactly not a good cause. Sorry, buddy, I wish I could help you, my hands are tied. Oh no, wait, that was last night.",0 3063,Party number one!,0 3064,New Jersey?,1 3065,This is fine. This is totally fine.,1 3066,I do! It's just not that easy.,3 3067,"Co-witness, I'll handle this.",0 3068,You can't get back together with Zoey just because you're freaking out over a lightbulb.,4 3069,"Ha,ha,ha,ha. It wasn't a date. Okay, it was a date and it got way weird.",3 3070,"No, sir. I like to play by the rules. While I can not say I did not propose to.",0 3071,"Ted, you are spitting on the grave of Sir Walter Dibs, inventor of the dib. It was 1652... The SS Dibs was lost at sea...",0 3072,What? Yes. Much.,4 3073,"Finish the story, Red.",1 3074,"If you go see them, it is not better than blondes showing their tits at a concert by Van Halen.",0 3075,Hey.,0 3076,That's my dresser! And this is my closet.,2 3077,What?,4 3078,"We love you all. If you ever leave again in Canada, we jump on a plane, you are pursuing, and after that Barney has dragged some of the club with which you have spoken, we will bring you here where you are supposed to be. This is not New York without Robin Scherbatsky.",3 3079,"Robin, you dropped a little ice cream...",1 3080,"My God, were you born without taste buds? (Marshall smiles and laughs)",2 3081,20 bucks.,1 3082,"All right, Robin, give it to me.",0 3083,I know I can't do this. I'm not doing this. It's just... it's a shame. She's really cool.,1 3084,No. I would have accepted it.,4 3085,I know. Maybe not.,2 3086,"Scenario number 12. We're in a horrific car crash, you die, I'm left paralyzed. Two sexy nurses with a six-pack of wine coolers sneak into my room late at night. I try to blink at them in morse code, "Please, don't, I love my dead wife," but they're medical professionals and I gotta think somehow they're saving my life.",3 3087,Yes.,1 3088,No.,1 3089,"Last night, after admitting defeat, I just let myself go.",0 3090,"Even though she didn't want a relationship, we had an amazing kiss on the roof. Fact.",1 3091,It's still in the family.,4 3092,"Why? Lily loves a clean sink so I do the dishes right away, what's the problem?",3 3093,"Trudy. Oh my God, I haven't seen you since...",1 3094,"This is not the person is the sexual act. It's like the Sacramento Turtleneck, but with maple syrup.",4 3095,I'll give you this. That was a very creative use of syrup.,3 3096,Wait! (He looks at the judha: Ted is alone),3 3097,"Guys, what's up?",3 3098,Yeah. But you're Canadian.,1 3099,"Okay, well, hang on. I'm coming to get you.",3 3100,I thought you deleted his number.,2 3101,"This hand gesture thing doesn't really work on the phone, does it?",0 3102,Hi. What are you doing tonight?,0 3103,"Oh, baby, it's just not fair. You've been working so hard. Late nights, weekends. I never see you. We've barely made love in weeks. It's bad, guys, mama needs her sugar.",2 3104,But... it's a mistake.,0 3105,"Oh, okay. Well, I'll go handle your parents. And you handle your, well... Wait, wait, wait. Marshall.",2 3106,"Dude, he lives in Cleveland. You see him once a year, at which point, he punches you really hard in the arm and tells everyone how you dookied your pants. I know, on paper he sounds great, but you guys aren't really friends.",3 3107,"Wow, it sounds like this is getting pretty serious.",4 3108,"He forgot his pants. It's pretty funny. Less than a chimpanzee wearing two tuxedos. I mean, he... he forgot that he was already one? Moron, the monkey.",4 3109,Bye.,0 3110,No! Wait! You ate a potato chips! Where's the chips?,4 3111,Thank you.,3 3112,"Yeah, with those people. I'm your boyfriend. Come on, what is it? Did you get arrested in a mall?",1 3113,You can not go to jail! They are dying in the hallways!And meals are really heavy.,0 3114,"No, of course. This is an old tape. Barney is pleased with Robin.",2 3115,I thought you were going out.,2 3116,"Yes, but it was a great apology. And a perfect way to end my scrapbook. I'm going to call this photo "Barney's Redemption." Could you stop giving me the finger?",2 3117,"And the answer is right here... my own, personal "get psyched" mix. Now, people often think a good mix should rise and fall, but people are wrong. It should be all rise, baby. Now prepare yourselves for an audio journey into the white-hot center of adrenaline. Bam.",0 3118,"Okay, Ted, can you just please think about this before you...",4 3119,Say what you will about the p*rn industry... they are hard workers.,2 3120,"Well, let's dig in, Mi... Mi... Microwave Oven.",4 3121,What about "Tara"?,2 3122,"Oh my God, it's Brad. Laugh like I said something really funny. (Ted laughs)",3 3123,The belt.,1 3124,You see? You need it. You need that thing that makes you a man.,0 3125,"OK, new topic. How do I pick a tie?",1 3126,You know what? That will not work between us... ever. I'm done. (He takes the jacket on the bed and hand) And that's really better for traffic if you weight the arch with your thumbs. Now I'm done.,1 3127,"Yeah, it's OK. I wasn't that into him. Story of my life. Everyone else is all falling in love and acting stupid and goofy and sweet and insane, but not me. Why don't I want that more? I want to want that. Am I wired wrong or something?",4 3128,You jealous?,1 3129,And this is the best friend I ever had.,1 3130,"Glad you asked Lily. I have crafted a list of every vehicle land-based, aquatic and airborne in which/on which it's possible to have sex. And of those 33 vehicles, I have had sex in/on 31. Windsurfing board, not on the list, not possible. Oh, P.S., in order to hit 33, all I need is bobsled and the Apollo 11 space capsule.",0 3131,I don't know. I think Barney's been single for too long.,4 3132,"Wow, you really are desperate.",0 3133,"I think we should stop sleeping. Ted and I, it's like cigarettes. You take one into thinking it is good. And very quickly, you buy one carton per week. I must stop it.",4 3134,"Thank you, Will Shortz.",1 3135,You got b*at by a girl.,3 3136,"Okay, well, if you really think this is going to help your image.",4 3137,Let's go to the table all together.,2 3138,Really? That's your take-away? Nothing on the bear in the bra?,1 3139,What?,2 3140,What's wrong?,4 3141,"Oh! I know why. You're gonna win, aren't you?",2 3142,"Hey, guys.",1 3143,Hey.,1 3144,"It is true. You're not upset because you're worried she's mad. You're upset because you'd rather be with her, eating muffins than here with me, eating this delicious... I think one of my mushrooms just crawled away.",1 3145,Brief.,2 3146,"Oh, I see what's going on.",4 3147,I love this guy.,1 3148,Do not let... anyone here know that you're not from Minnesota.,3 3149,"Come, Grand Chief.",0 3150,Who wants a party hat? I'm a bird! All do the bird!,3 3151,The trash can is full.,4 3152,"This slap is mine, Mosby. I never slap Barney... above the belt.",4 3153,(taps woman) Hi! Have you met Ted?,0 3154,Yeah!,3 3155,I do not do that.,3 3156,But no.,4 3157,"Wait, so you weren't wearing a fake beard and examining girl parts all day?",2 3158,When was the last time you were there?,4 3159,What? The walls are thin.,2 3160,"Well, that did it.",3 3161,... marriage...,3 3162,"Shh, shh, shh. What you need to do is talk through this stuff.",0 3163,"Well, it's just an internship, for the record.",3 3164,"What? We agreed, I suited up.",1 3165,Mr. Clean?,1 3166,Yeah.,1 3167,Nothing good ever happens after 2:00 a.m.,2 3168,And you got me pinched cheeks very hard for them to be pink.,4 3169,You could have a good time in prison.,3 3170,Who the hell are these people?,0 3171,Chain of screaming?,3 3172,"Yeah, kid stuck in a crane machine, how sweet of you to call it news.",4 3173,Anyway... We were happy together.,1 3174,We'll make it work.,2 3175,"No! No, come on.",0 3176,What?,3 3177,"Oh, hey, Simon. Great show. You guys still rock.",4 3178,It was not very satisfactory. When I tell that he was attacked by a monkey. And I keep the stuff of banana. It was good.,0 3179,"No, no I'm just writing my paper. Hitting the books.",3 3180,Bottle for Marvin during takeoff.,3 3181,No. And it either.,1 3182,Okay. All right.,0 3183,"What's it to you, giant turtle?",3 3184,"Anything, bro.",0 3185,I think Barney just won game night.,3 3186,"Your friend has a birthday here? She has what, 19?",4 3187,There's no shame to admit it. We were all hooked and we all hooked someone.,2 3188,"Okay, that is so weird.",3 3189,The chairman asks you...,4 3190,"No, no, you have to do it. I'll help you study. We're gonna stay up all night long. I'm gonna drill you, and then we're gonna study. No, seriously. We're gonna do some cramming and then we're gonna study. No, seriously. We're gonna bone up on...",0 3191,"It's dipping stuff in hot cheese, what's not to love?",2 3192,So... y-you didn't like my painting?,2 3193,"It will not surprise you, but the rest of the trip was horrible. I did a picture of a romantic kiss in front of the Eiffel Tower, I actually had. It was just between Karen and Francis, our server yesterday.",2 3194,Why?,0 3195,"Qua na you exchange a number, you give him the opportunity to call to cancel. If you give a number without an appointment, they must come. Checkmate! No number, just my fingers. Truck.",0 3196,Go! You want that!,0 3197,Oh yeah? What you gonna do?,1 3198,"No, not at all!",2 3199,Baskiceball? Not iceketball?,2 3200,For me it's Ted.,1 3201,My favorite cop show.,3 3202,What?! I have no love handles. This is ridiculous.,0 3203,"Ted, bring your coat, we're leaving.",0 3204,Not possible. You cannot have sex on a windsurfing board.,0 3205,A charity dinner.,4 3206,"I know and I love it! It's great! Sir, we will pay gladly handle that has been broken. I love Ted angry!",3 3207,"White or Asian? You see, I hardly know him.",0 3208,"Marshall, no.",2 3209,Of course. Look at this.,1 3210,I wish I knew you guys back then. You know why? Because you can't kick a story in the nuts.,4 3211,"And fame, this is Harvey Léplateaux?",3 3212,"Yes, Lily, my cousin, the drummer from Led Zeppelin, who died in 1980, got married two months ago.",1 3213,"This rule is completely outdated. They know exactly what you do. I have another rule. It's a bit crazy, but I call it, "you like him, you call him."",1 3214,Yup!,0 3215,"A little to the left, Marshall. Lily, squat down.",4 3216,"I disagree. If there's some potential 'oh' moment, I want to know about it right away. I mean, what's the alternative?",1 3217,Yes! Put him in a body bag!,1 3218,"Well, they're not talking. They're not even looking at each other. That reminds me of those awkward Sunday dinners with my mom, my dad and his mistress. Families, right?",4 3219,Good grief. I told Heather to put everything back as it was on your desk.,0 3220,It's true.,1 3221,What?,3 3222,"(On Phone) Ted, Ted, Ted. (Does I'm watching you hand gesture) Yes, we are.",0 3223,"Look, Lil, we're all tolerating this prolonged nervous breakdown you're clearly having, with the punk band and the beekeeping and the petty larceny, but this is my career you're messing with.",1 3224,what's matter with you?,0 3225,Wait. That... You think that's what she means by "baking cookies"?,1 3226,We weren't exclusive!,0 3227,I can have two shots ahead. There is a flaw in there and I will get it.,0 3228,"Shoe's untied. I got it. Yeah, this is over.",1 3229,"So whatever you do, don't tell him here tonight, 'cause...",2 3230,"Marshall, it's a 78-story pink marble tower with a rounded top and two spherical entryways at the front.",1 3231,It's just that all I've ever done is teach kindergarten. I want to get out there and change the world. I want to find my passion.,2 3232,Can't go. Tournament.,3 3233,What?,0 3234,"OK, you can do it. You can do it! You can do it.",0 3235,It's time to talk?,0 3236,Maybe a little.,4 3237,It's good.,0 3238,"Hey. Listen, dude, I gotta talk to you, but you gotta promise me that you won't tell Barney.",3 3239,Yeah. It is even more in Manhattan. Where does this girl?,1 3240,"Get rid of it. This phone is cursed. Cursed, I tell you! I tried to ignore it but it just never stops ringing. It's ruining my life! I should get that. (Marshall takes it away from him) No, please, please, please, Marshall, let me answer it, it could be an emergency, she could be trapped in a giant bra.",0 3241,That was some pretty grownup stuff we did this morning.,3 3242,"Wait, we take what poses? The two cops friends?",1 3243,"May the heroic story of Barney to be remembered, and transmitted from generation to generation.",3 3244,Fine.,2 3245,"Ted, I honestly don't know what you're talking about.",2 3246,That's hilarious. You are hilarious. I'll go get it in my bedroom. The CD's in my bedroom. Bedroom.,1 3247,"Lily, I don't want to get into it, okay?",4 3248,"It's the best, as long as I don't have to spend it with a bunch of phonies.",1 3249,"(to Barney) And you. You know, I got it into my head this week that you were cheating on me. I even broke open your briefcase to look for evidence.",4 3250,(whispers too) Federal law expressly dictates that a foreign national can't maintain residency for longer than six months without a work visa.,3 3251,This is the last time it's ever going to be just the two of us. Shouldn't we be enjoying that?,3 3252,Well. Hotdog! Should we... you want to just meet here in front of Mac... MacLaren's pub?,0 3253,"Oh, my God. These pancakes are delicious!",2 3254,"Yeah, because if I did sacrifice all my values just for an easy buck, what would that make me?",2 3255,Was that all?,4 3256,I'm sorry. Are you sure mine is decaf? You used the same coffee.,2 3257,Always.,0 3258,Barney told you.,4 3259,"Hold a bar, it sucks. Is closed.",1 3260,"Because if you were gonna be some lame suburban dad, why couldn't you have been that for me?!",0 3261,You guys talking to each other? Nobody's listening.,3 3262,No.,1 3263,I need to make one more call.,1 3264,Twice!,0 3265,Do not fight in...,1 3266,"Hey, I want the Slutty Pumpkin to recognize me and she knows me as a hanging chad.",1 3267,A Break?,3 3268,"Don't k*ll the bar, dude.",3 3269,"God, these girls are so hungry for male attention. It is like being a hunter and having the deer walk up, tie itself to the hood of your car and beg to get mounted.",0 3270,"Yes, Barney?",4 3271,"Did you guys see me? I was on fire tonight. Man, I can't wait to get back to the shore. God, I love gambling!",0 3272,"No, Barney, I like Vicky. It could be serious. I want to do anything stupid to jeopardize that.",1 3273,"Oh, dear. That's what the guys know that after moving in with a woman. All your stuff are idiots.",2 3274,They fight because of you!?,4 3275,Okay.,0 3276,Whoa. Is there going to be a fight?,0 3277,That's right.,0 3278,We're seeing a Christmas movie. It's a Christmas-themed movie snack.,1 3279,"Well, that's why I left a note.",2 3280,"This is your fault, you and your stupid bank. You did this.",2 3281,"Oh, mucho sexy. You quiero Marshall.",2 3282,"Okay, you don't have to hold back anymore. You may now say what you really think of Zoey.",1 3283,I love him.,2 3284,I'm not gonna nail the receptionist.,1 3285,"Our company just bought them out in a ruthless takeover. Took two months. Cost 2,000 jobs. It was brutal. Who wants a T-shirt? (He throws one to Ted.) Hey, Marshall, they're hiring in the legal department. I could get you a job.",0 3286,"Uh, that's Jeff Foxworthy, dumbass. End of story. Now shut your stupid face.",4 3287,"What do you know about this,Marshall?",2 3288,(after short silence) Yeah. (hands it back),3 3289,"Guys booty-call girls after 2:00 a.m. with a drunkenly slurred, "What ya doing?" But when a lady booty-calls a guy, she invents a respectable excuse to mask the fact that she wants to get stuck real good.",4 3290,"Think about it, Marshall. All entrants get 20% off at the snack bar! Oh, BT-dub, the receptionist. What's her situation?",0 3291,"Hey, stace. What happened? He did not. Stay there, I'll be right over.",0 3292,"I do not need help, OK? I can look after myself. And yes, maybe some girls do not like to be called away or they may say too, but guess what? These are not good for me. Maybe the good is the one that loves me to do that, because... this is who I am and I will not change because of a stupid rule of the Three Days. Holly spells his name with an "I".",1 3293,I call him "Marshpillow." And he calls me... nothing because he's a pillow.,2 3294,"Barney, come on, we've covered this.",1 3295,"She was completely amazing. She was amazing and funny and we connected on every level. And, I'm never gonna see her again.",1 3296,What design?,2 3297,"So, how is Barney?",3 3298,"Someone get him a sh*t, he's thinking again.",0 3299,"Well, there's ninja, back of horse. Where's front of horse? That guys a riot. Where is he?",1 3300,"I would love that. What are you doing here? Great. See you in 10 minutes. Super. Sorry, Henrietta, something unexpected.We redo it, my friend?",1 3301,"Hey, Barney! Give me the good news.",1 3302,"There is so much to learn. You are only v*ctim of...the effect cheerleaders. Good question. The effect cheerleading is when a group of women air cannon, but only in groups. As with the cheerleaders. They look like cannon, but take them individually? Cod.",0 3303,The pants! The pants!,0 3304,I understand.,3 3305,"Dude, what are you doing?",3 3306,I do not really talk about the tie.,0 3307,"Well, Robin's actually...",1 3308,You're a big... stupid octopus head!,2 3309,Why not?,4 3310,"OK, we get it. You're skeptical. But Marshall and I, we're believers. We believe.",2 3311,"You had to take that away from me, didn't you? (He takes a bottle of Bourbon out of his bag and put it on the table)",1 3312,"Yeah, come on, dude. Ask her about the cake.",3 3313,"You look gross when you cry, you know that? Some women look cute. You look like a basset hound.",1 3314,I stay on my position. It was bold and romantic.,0 3315,"So he stays home all the time not getting laid? No, see, that's what you do when you have a fiancée. He should be down here celebrating. He's free. He got that red-head-tumor removed.",0 3316,This Indian restaurant where the cat jumps on the tables?,1 3317,"Yeah, sure, okay. So Andrew, what's your big plan? What's life going to be like after tonight?",2 3318,"Hey, here's one. Private building, recently renovated, hardwood floors, tons of light, two bedroom, 2 bath.",3 3319,"Well, the thing naked is not bad. It was weird.",1 3320,"Listen, Ted, I can't really talk right... '93? Dude, that's impressive.",4 3321,Lilly?,3 3322,"OK, well, don't worry, I'll come down and help you figure it out.",2 3323,BOOGITY BOO! And that's all of them! I'm goanna go... cook. (Leaves),3 3324,It's not me.,4 3325,"Oh man, we're gonna be doing this all the time, now aren't we?",3 3326,And now you have to do what every dysfunctional couple has to do: Break up.,4 3327,A good one. He won full custody.,2 3328,Thanks for ruining the memory of the anniversary of our six months.,3 3329,We are two dominant sets.,3 3330,Yes,4 3331,I still am.,1 3332,"Sorry, I have my own way tonight.",0 3333,Yes. Because she's perfect. So what am I doing here?,1 3334,"Well, that's perfect. That's why I called you. Ted, you're for children. Robin, you're against. Councillors, please proceed.",2 3335,He wasn't ready for a commitment.,3 3336,"Big fan. Barney Stinson. So, uh... what about this party?",0 3337,"In order for me to get total closure on this whole my-girlfriend-has-a-husband thing, I think I'm gonna need a little bit more information. Like, what month did you get married? Robin: June. We had a June wedding.",1 3338,"Yeah, right. (They kiss)",2 3339,I think it'll work.,3 3340,"Um, most Thanksgivings.",0 3341,I want to slap Barney since I met him!,1 3342,"Slow your roll there, Lilypad.",4 3343,"How about we just go wildly to both extremes and just let them balance each other out? "Ted Mosby is really handsome, but extremely violent, and really rich, but lacks bladder control." Oh, damn.",4 3344,Of course.,1 3345,You have a butterfly tramp stamp.,4 3346,But why would you use Ted's name?,4 3347,"Seriously. No chance it works on Robin. It will come, take a look at this idiot and send tampers.",0 3348,I guess I made a mistake. Must have been Alexa.,1 3349,"I love you too, Marshmallow.",1 3350,"Cut! You're mired in details. We need you to be vague, at ease with buzzwords like "synergy" and "dynamism". You can invent a word, as... "Relationality."",0 3351,"Well, that's what you say at the end of a crappy date.",4 3352,"I'm telling you, no architect would ever design a giant exposed vent right over a Death Star's core reactor. That's Space Architecture 101. It had to be the contractor. Barney, back me up. Barney. Dude, this is important.",1 3353,Prince of Norway! How could it not be Prince of Norway?!,1 3354,"No, no, no. Just... forget it. Ha, ha! A little prank. I'm not in Duchess County.",1 3355,Run him over.,2 3356,Yeah.,3 3357,You should write and illustrate children's books.,1 3358,You weren't kidding. It really does look like a giant penis.,2 3359,"Oh, "screwed up" doesn't even begin to describe...",0 3360,You set me on fire. And who's the girl in my bed?,1 3361,Crazy Willie! Barney Stinson.,0 3362,You know...,0 3363,"Oh, thank God. I keep thinking there's something wrong with me.",2 3364,What is she doing for money through all this?,1 3365,"I wanted to confront him, but I couldn't. I guess I got the let's-not-talk-about-anything-uncomfortable gene",1 3366,"But Barney, you've done way dirtier stuff than Ted. You're disgusting.",3 3367,"Stay strong, Teddy. We can do this.",1 3368,"Ted, many a man--nay, many a soul--has their own tale of the sexless innkeeper. Why, I had run-in with one just last year. I even composed a poem about it. Would you care to hear it?",0 3369,"You like architecture? We should get married. Ha-ha.MDR. Just kidding. So what? ",0 3370,I'm sorry. You are in New York?,1 3371,Anything you want. What's the matter?,1 3372,"No, I mean it.",3 3373,"You're right. For the first time he likes a girl, she pushes him away? And not just any girl. It's going to destroy it.",4 3374,"Wait a minute. When we went out together, you borrow the toothbrush all the time.",1 3375,You do not know how right you are.,0 3376,"Oh, you should talk.You slept with Barney.",2 3377,"Pretty easy, huh? (And send the cork in the eye of Lily. Marshall and Lily sleeping when Marshall is a slap to Lily. Marshall before the fridge and opens the door when Lily arrives. They dance loose Lily and Marshall) Dispatch, baby. The party will begin. (Lily is dressed up and scared a k*ll Marshall puts his fist) You had to disguise yourself in sexy chat!",3 3378,Oh my God. Wow.,3 3379,What?,3 3380,I'm sorry?,2 3381,"Hi, guys. Bad news: I was Karen plated. Go ahead.",1 3382,"Exactly. Thank you, Mary.",2 3383,"I didn't have any of the experiences I set out to. The travel, the bohemian art life, my big lesbian experience. I didn't do any of it.",2 3384,Sorry. Can you repeat that? I do not mean the f*ck.,0 3385,This is where it's interesting.,1 3386,Hi Nora. Thank you for reminding me. The reason I'm calling...,0 3387,"Well, I should go get dressed.",4 3388,"Moby... the recording artist, Moby.",4 3389,It's kind of an emergency.,1 3390,What?,4 3391,"Oh, get this, she plays bass in a reggae band. They're having a show this Friday. How cool is that?",1 3392,What am I doing with my life?,0 3393,Are you kidding? This flapper-for knocks.,2 3394,"Yeah, well, it was supposed to be, but my professor's like the toughest grader I've ever seen. She had like a bad divorce this summer and now she's taking it out on us. To tell you the truth, I think she just needs to get laid.",3 3395,Barney's offering me fifty bucks to say some stupid word on a live news report.,4 3396,"Nobody cares, just say it.",1 3397,"Yes, Mr Cootes. How are you?",3 3398,Naughty.,0 3399,Checkmate.,3 3400,"Think of all of us, five years ago, when we met you.Marshall and Lily were friends as little. Today they are married and think about the children. And Barney? He would never get involved with anyone. And last year, he fell in love. And me? I was chasing a girl, convinced she was right. Today it is one of my best friends. And you? 5 years ago, you would never put love before your career, but now you did it.",1 3401,It was a completely random moment. The kind that you can create yourself... At least I thought.,1 3402,Look at this. A photo of the day we moved. So many good memories.,1 3403,Give him his ball back right now. People are going to get fired.,1 3404,"Okay"!? Awesome!!,0 3405,And a little cutesy.,4 3406,Not as much as me.,4 3407,"Okay, you're the one who put the Far Side calendar up over the toilet. You know I laugh with my whole body.",3 3408,"And I'm Marshall, Barney's wingman.",3 3409,Crap.,4 3410,I'm sorry.,4 3411,"You know what, Clay? It's nothing.",1 3412,"Oh, right. Hi.",1 3413,Clearly. This is the end.,0 3414,"It bothers you that we sleep together, right?",1 3415,I don't know. Good night.,4 3416,Yeah.,3 3417,"Barney, we love this bar.",1 3418,I still kind of think it's Barney.,2 3419,Totally. Totally. Call me tomorrow.,4 3420,"OK, I'm hot. Let's go.",0 3421,"Oh, my God, my secret crush is here.",4 3422,"I never thought that I would think, but... I thought about it.",4 3423,"I can. And I'm freaking out, too! There's an alien growing in my stomach that's gonna explode out of my vagina!",2 3424,They're not gonna get...,4 3425,"Hmm, too bad. I got candy.",4 3426,Then why did you ask me to come?,1 3427,"Lily, if one of the Vancouver Canucks came here, I fall on my ass so that there would be a hole halfway to China in the soil.",4 3428,Lily was mentally deranged.,1 3429,You will not believe what Jenkins has done this time.,3 3430,"Hot top, Bro, is it new?",3 3431,"Robin, girls are like cartons of milk. Each one has a hotness expiration date, and you've hit yours. I'm not saying the occasional guy won't still open the fridge, pick you up, give a sniff, shrug and take a sip anyway But it's all downhill from here.",0 3432,"Ah, that's the stuff.",0 3433,"Anyhoo, while I got you-- big smile. "We care about making dreams come true," in three, two...",0 3434,"It's a big secret, so don't tell her I told you, but she's very vulnerable right now and you have a girlfriend. Go home, Ted.",2 3435,Right. Get what done?,3 3436,"Wow, Ted, sounds like you're her perfect woman.",0 3437,You are good.,0 3438,"Yes that's right, it's hilarious, I became a business poor guy. I work for GNB, the bank most unhealthy existence.",3 3439,It's not your phone. (they fight over it),0 3440,It was agreed that you do not speak of those things.,1 3441,"Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It's like the universe was saying, hey, Barney, there's this dude, he's pretty cool but it's your job to make him awesome. Your brain screws you up, Ted. It gets in the way. It happened with Robin, it happened with half-boob. And it's gonna keep on happening until you power down that bucket of neuroses inebriation-style.",0 3442,Just because James is getting married doesn't mean things are going to change.,3 3443,Why?,0 3444,"... and that you face all that, but... you only have one chance. Take a moment and think about what you will say.",2 3445,I hope this was not the same nights.,2 3446,"What are you doing here? Oh, God! You're dating one of my students. It's Rachel, isn't it? Barney, I know she wears provocative sweaters, but she's 19! Now I'm gonna have to hear all about it, right? Go on, tell me every detail.",1 3447,Yeah. Why do I doubt that? Hello.,1 3448,"Hey, happy Thanksgiving.",1 3449,Anyway... I don't get it. She should be into me by now.,1 3450,It's okay. All withdrawals at ATMs are free.,0 3451,Lily is not there.,4 3452,"No, no, this was my apartment. My dresser was right...",2 3453,"The Girl of the Year in May, according to Bro's Life magazine. A delicate flower in stiletto heel leopard thong and riding a 4x4.",0 3454,A plus.,0 3455,"Good night, Ted. (Shake hands.)",4 3456,"Hey, Lily, (his voice cracks) Can you get me a mojito? Normally, you would've given me crap for an hour about a voice crack that pubescently girl-like, but nothing. So then I started to test you guys. [...] The Phantom Menace is by far the best Star Wars movie.",3 3457,Marshall made me go.

Okay, I need to figure out if Victoria ever got engaged.",1 3464,"You two, the fact that it is not real sexy! She is sexy thanks to circumstances! Look.",4 3465,"No, your tatts... toos. Your tattoos.",1 3466,The ski babes are back!,4 3467,Yesterday you said the best feeling on earth was getting your toes sucked. Then you requested a high-five with your foot.,4 3468,"Hi, I'm Barney.",0 3469,"Baby, I did it! I quit. And then I walked right over to the NRDC, and I took that job.",3 3470,What are you doing?,1 3471,"Yes, yes, good idea. Let fate decide? I will choose the left.",1 3472,"oh, um, i'm sorry, i-i guess i just forgot.",4 3473,"Sorry for the delay. I was typing a Scherbatsky. She used all my stamps, so in short, the postman rang twice. Should you stamp it!",1 3474,See you tomorrow.,1 3475,Just take off your damn shirt. Okay.,4 3476,It's just a guy we know who has a blog and really bad.,3 3477,"Not good, not good at all.",3 3478,What do cigarettes now? You believe they think of us?,0 3479,And if you came to ask us?,1 3480,It's amazing!,4 3481,"No... no, Ted. Random number guy just sent me his wang back.",3 3482,"Wait, are we breaking up?",4 3483,Looks like they're about to have theirs.,3 3484,And let me guess: it's not gone further than that.,4 3485,"Well, I got a big morning, so... Dry cleaners, bank, you know, so...",1 3486,You think?,0 3487,Only if you rub hard enough.,0 3488,Obviously the whole thing is shrouded in mystery.,2 3489,"Yeah, if you and i are such good friends, why couldn't you just tell me that's what we were doing? Okay, maybe we should talk about this later. I-I should get going.",1 3490,We have to find Arthur right now.,1 3491,"And tell me, would you have accidentally made this chocolate cake?",2 3492,"Great, now I'm crying. Look, we may have some really big decisions to make in about 10 seconds but right now, I don't care where our kids grow up as long as they have you for a father.",2 3493,Six days.,2 3494,I just said I don't like Chinese.,0 3495,Aw.,4 3496,"What? Kara broke up with you? I'm sorry,man. That sucks. Brad,do you like brunch?",3 3497,To the Willowbrook Mall!,0 3498,I do not want to have sex with Marshall.,4 3499,Who is Carlos!?,0 3500,"Wait, wait. Did he break up with you and tell you he's just not that Inuit?",2 3501,46!,0 3502,That's what you're wearing?,1 3503,"Whoa whoa whoa, let's not skip over this. Raise your hand if earlier today you hit on an engaged woman.",2 3504,And she called it the Tootsie Roll.,0 3505,"Loving the dirty talk-- but you know what's even hotter? If we face this-a-way. Ooh, we're bad.",3 3506,Today at lunch. And I had a an apple brie panini with potato salad....,1 3507,Married? What does have to do with the mall?,1 3508,7 years. I miss him so much!,0 3509,"I can't do it, Doc. Is there, like, another option? Could I... Could I take this home?",3 3510,Ted. Where's Lily? I need to tell her about these awesome shoes I just bought.,4 3511,"Yeah, well the owner goes to my gym. It turns out that he is a fan of my reporting for Metro News One. So now, I'm on the list for tonight.",4 3512,You guys will not believe this. I've been talking to my lawyer all morning. You know that guy I have a slight disagreement with at the Hoser Hut? He's filing as*ault charges.,4 3513,"Yeah, big day.",1 3514,"Alright, alright. I was too hard on him.",1 3515,I am such a jerk.,3 3516,"The bus? Every time I take the bus, there is one crazy person no one wants to sit near. That's why I have never taken the bus. Plus... I can run faster than a bus.",0 3517,Thank you.,1 3518,"Yeah. Yeah. I'm really looking forward to it. I mean, I know they're gonna ride me pretty hard but they're great guys.",1 3519,"Now you want to know what the diver. In fact, it was on the last page of the Book, but I pulled in case. But do not worry.You will see it in action. You see the blonde next to the bar?Cizzible repérizzée.",0 3520,"Uh, yes, she does.",0 3521,"No, they're not. It's just a tantrum, Ted. I saw this in kindergarten all the time.",2 3522,"Yeah, she was.",0 3523,No.,2 3524,Too-much-tongue guy? Yeah.,3 3525,"Crusts cut off! No, Ted. What are we...? We're men. Mom! Leave the crusts on! They forced their opponents to scatter, picking them off, one by one, in a swift and merciless slaughter.",3 3526,I'm really proud that we have helped Stewart.,4 3527,"God, you're hot right now.",2 3528,"Oh-Dude, it's midnight. As your future lawyer I'm goanna advise you: that's freakin' crazy!",3 3529,"Yeah. Right? God, it's been forever since I had potato skins. I remember them as being pretty much the most delicious things ever. (He eats the potato skin) Huh. That's surprising.",1 3530,The Captain?,3 3531,Nice.,0 3532,Yeah.,1 3533,"No, as you stop scams and confidence tricks, deception, underhand, tricks, schemes and embobinages.",2 3534,"You're right. (Ted stops an elderly woman who was about to enter the Intersection) Um, excuse me. Can you give this to the blonde sitting alone in there and tell her Ted's really sorry? Also... indirect sunlight. Don't overwater. Half a cup a week is more than enough. (The elderly woman enters and gives theflowers to a blonde sitting alone, but not the right one) No. Hi.",1 3535,Well done.,0 3536,"Hey, it works.",1 3537,"Oh. You know what, Ted? That was very nice. You have earned these screws back. Don't sit in your desk chair until you've put them back in.",2 3538,And if you fail?,1 3539,"Okay, those guys were mean at first, yes, but they're actually good guys, and if you got to know them, then you would see that. Come karaoke with us tonight, and you'll see how totally not that lame they are, okay?",3 3540,Of course.,1 3541,"God, your eyes are so blue.",1 3542,"Wait, where are you guys going? Don't you want to stay and see the cockamouse.",2 3543,And what do you plan on doing with it?,2 3544,"They think we went away. Oh, it is on for my boy, Ted.",3 3545,"(on TV) Thanks Bill, I'm reporting from the Razzle Dazzle Supermarket on 75th in Columbus",4 3546,Come on. It's funny. This is...,0 3547,"Guess who loves Robin? Kids, kids love Robin. Doug thinks I'm pretty cool.",4 3548,Which moves are we talking about? Did he do the thing where he brags on himself in the form of a complaint?,4 3549,"Look at yourself, Marshall. You're not happy. And you know why? Because you're different. Now, I suppose you could learn to love yourself for the unique little snowflake that you are, or... you could change your entire personality, which is just so much easier.",0 3550,Yes! Continues? You mean "start." He means "start." We went to a strip club.,1 3551,"Oh, you're not upset. Good. Baby, guess what I found.",3 3552,"Yeah, I was trying to think what's the quickest way to get rid of a girl you just met?",0 3553,"Hey, Barney. Hey, Rachel. Rachel, why aren't you in class?",1 3554,Let's go talk to those girls.,0 3555,"Thank God we're not sentimental saps who panic and get back together. Seriously, why would people do that?",0 3556,I just think you have no idea of the difficulty of succeeding in New York.,1 3557,How she livin'?,2 3558,"Oh my god, Barney, I'm so sorry...",3 3559,"I'm calling you. We're breaking up. I'm doing this right now, I'm coming out of this bathroom a single man.",1 3560,"Okay, Zoey wrote, "Meet me at 6:00, where it all began, where you gave me the orchid at the intersection."",4 3561,"Oh, come on, Ted! You know what story I want to hear. Everyone else here has manned up tonight and told the truth. Why can't you?",0 3562,"Wait, wait, wait. Did he...? I think I'm out.",3 3563,He's just staring into her eyes.,3 3564,Yes. Even the side where you route the East Village naked.,2 3565,"Oh, penguins are cool, kinda like black and white Ewoks. I approve.",3 3566,"Ted, no. Let it go. She's about to get married. She's got enough to worry about.",3 3567,"I'm calling him. I'm telling him that I was wrong and I'm sorry, and I totally want to listen to his stupid stories.",4 3568,"Look, none of us meant for it to happen, but, well, we had an awesome night with her.",4 3569,"Marshall Eriksen, suit up!",0 3570,"Okay, here's what we're gonna do. Hey, Meg! Over here! Look who it is! Yo old friend Meg: Barney! Barney?",2 3571,What? What?,0 3572,"No, I meant the wang.",4 3573,"Basically, you're sort of a general office assistant.",1 3574,You're in the eye of cycorde.,3 3575,"We agree, it's insane to have a child before he saw the five doubles, right?",2 3576,She was freakishly immune to everything in my apartment... Except you. You're better than p*rn.,0 3577,It was not me!,3 3578,There are jerk faces and there are buttholes.,1 3579,"Exactly, low in trying to conquer another out of reach, and the strong will go back down to be with the other person less.",1 3580,Our help?,1 3581,"Come on, when's the last time you got screamed at at work?",1 3582,We are just two peas.,1 3583,"Robin, nothing to add?",1 3584,So I am not too-much-tongue guy.,1 3585,She would have called me and...,3 3586,Italian.,0 3587,To Ted.,4 3588,It failed him.,4 3589,What...,2 3590,Just get out. This is what I get after I worked as a stripper for four years to put you through medical school? I got breast implants for you. I... (The girl is gone) I was just about to turn on the tears.,2 3591,And the dress.,2 3592,Shit!,4 3593,"Yeah. Yeah. Although I hear there's a lovely rooftop patio where folks can enjoy a nice bag lunch, so...",1 3594,Thanks Ted.,4 3595,And they will respond?,1 3596,Kashmir? This is the virgin merino hand-woven. The fibers of this costume are spaced less than 12 microns.,0 3597,"I, uh... I wanted to apologize for everything that happened.",1 3598,That's exactly what you are.,1 3599,"Okay, look, so, so this, this isn't the place. All right, it's no big deal. It's another place with a green door and a red neon sign that says "Burger". I'll just... I'll call every restaurant in Manhattan and ask 'em what colour their door is. No big deal, right? Let's do this.",3 3600,Not yet. Soon.,1 3601,Okay. It's good. You have your own list.,4 3602,"Thank you very much, man. Tonight I will not sleep.",3 3603,"Lily, how could you do... exactly the same thing I did? You're supposed to be the sane one.",3 3604,"Yeah, cause I would never, could like, standards, so... you know... I thought this was a party.",4 3605,"Three: My grandfather was Olaf and he died at 107 years. Four: No elastic waistband leaving its mark around my Thanksgiving belly. And five: each night as I sleep, it's the most wonderful and free feeling in the world. I feel... as if I was flying. That's how I'm going to bed at night: happy, light. With a heart full of joy. And you?",3 3606,"Stop being sarcastic. It is a super-important dessert scholarship. Wow, that's hard to say without sounding sarcastic. Look... I know you're not Victoria's biggest fan, but she seems to make Ted happy. So think about that before you use your miles to buy her a plane ticket.",2 3607,Tonight was fantastic. We should do it again.,3 3608,"No, that you really suck. You're boring and lame and you're getting sand everywhere. Seriously, where is all the sand coming from? You're not the real me. All you are is me on vacation trying to get away from a break-up.",4 3609,You wish.,3 3610,"I'm not gonna scream at the waiter, barney.",3 3611,Hi. How are you?,2 3612,"And they were so nervous, that they weren't even making sense half of the time.",4 3613,Give me that phone.,3 3614,Why do you guys put yourselves through this? You lose every year.,2 3615,Yes.,3 3616,"(winks) Scenario. Couple of girls fly into town, looking for a fun weekend in NYC when they meet two handsome international business men just back from a lucrative trip to Japan. Sample dialogue, "You have a wheelie bag? Wh... I have a wheelie bag!"",0 3617,"Really, you watch my show? You flatter me see. Other fans here?",4 3618,Are you kidding me.,1 3619,We're in!,2 3620,"Great, a little nervous.",3 3621,Wow. It's beautiful.,2 3622,"Look, I-I might be crazy right now... No, you know what? I am definitely crazy right now, but I have a plan. That girl you used to go out with, Penelope, wasn't she getting her PhD in Native American culture?",1 3623,Pants. Don's... a duck. (Lily and Marshall sigh in awe of Ted) Permission to say "lawyered"?,1 3624,Normal if it is good guitarist.,1 3625,What are you talking about?,0 3626,"You know, you didn't mention all the foliage around the base. If you trim that back, the rest would look bigger.",4 3627,"Exactly. And the worst part is, this piece of my hallway door to the toilet. It's exposure to criticism.",3 3628,"Oh, right, is that the...?",2 3629,Please.,3 3630,Really? You don't want kids?,1 3631,"(holding up appropriate number of fingers) 3 beers, 5 minutes.",1 3632,We ruined their lives. And the worst part of it is that you didn't apologize to any of those women.,2 3633,"Hey, buddy, how was your night?",3 3634,Come here a minute.,3 3635,Yeah... no. This morning I was talking to the foreman.,1 3636,It's you who will be covered by the sheet if you leave your model not stupid.,4 3637,Nope.,2 3638,No way! We can't go out there now. They'll know that we've been sitting in the bathroom the whole time. It'll be too weird.,2 3639,"Wait. Randy, did you send the Hermanson contracts downtown?",3 3640,Right.,1 3641,"Danny is not here, Mrs. Torrance.",2 3642,"Guys, despite the wit and wisdom of Wang Guy, Zoey and I are never going to be friends. We're just here for her oven and that's it.",1 3643,"That's what makes you so special, baby.",0 3644,"It's the funniest thing. I was on the net, looking at hotels when I realized something.",3 3645,Where is she?,2 3646,I don't get it. How can you and Glitter just stop being friends? Best friends don't do that.,2 3647,"and in this case, you're paying them... then yes, it counts.",2 3648,Who cares?,0 3649,"Well, that guy who came over here who thinks we're dating, I kind of have a crush on him. Can you help me clear it up?",4 3650,"I'm not gonna remember that. Now, if you'll excuse me, random chick from earlier tonight, as you shall henceforth be known. Ted and I have a schedule to keep.",0 3651,"Oh, really? Then why am I not in prison for perjury? But I don't want to talk about work. Something weird is going on here.",0 3652,No. Shut up!,4 3653,What has happened?,2 3654,"Wow. Thanks. And, yes.",4 3655,There. A great reception.,1 3656,"Thanks, baby. I'm-I'm so lucky I have you. And stripper you.",3 3657,"It's bad, it's really bad. Short in front, long in the back? That is the mullet of wedding dresses.",4 3658,"Dude, I do not believe that you've ever done this far.You'll have to go back and redo all that way again tomorrow.",1 3659,Can't wait to meet him? Why did I say that? I don't wanna meet his kid.,4 3660,"Barney, you came home!",2 3661,I know it was weird showing up with Gael. I'm sorry.,4 3662,Put it!,4 3663,"Ugh! God, this is, like, the fifteenth time my dad has sent me a friend request.",4 3664,I'm going.,4 3665,I still can't believe you're going all corporate on us. "The kid" has become "the man.",1 3666,"Cigarettes, alcohol... Are these firecrackers? My God, Robin, you somehow crammed Tijuana into a purse.",1 3667,"I do we go to the party, that's what! (He goes to Marissa) We met at the meeting of ornithophilic.",0 3668,"Before you say anything, I just want to say, I really like working here at Metro News One.",4 3669,That's ridiculous and I'll tell you why.,1 3670,"It's okay, baby.",2 3671,Have you tried breast-feeding? Nailed it!,0 3672,"Do I look like I'm four? All right, what kind of prize are we talking?",1 3673,At tomorrow night.,0 3674,"Even worse, I'm 90% sure that this kind in which you spoke was the lead singer of Spin Doctors.",3 3675,"Oh, hi, Lily. We were just in the neighborhood, thought we'd get some lunch. We didn't even know you'd be here. (Marshall takes a photo of her).",0 3676,A surveillance van.,3 3677,8:00? I have to go to hospital.,3 3678,"Yeah, right.",1 3679,But we think some kind of sport in which robots wrestlers.,1 3680,Hard-core? That's the only way I play. (Barney strips down),0 3681,"No! Ugh! And I can't believe it's my first day, and already I'm the girl who slept with the host of the show.",4 3682,I had implied dibs.,1 3683,"First prize, $50 gift certificate at the bar.",3 3684,Well... ish.,1 3685,That's seared scallops with a mango chutney.,2 3686,"Damn it, Marshall.",2 3687,It is true. It's very rare that two people just meet and fall madly in love... like Robin and Don.,3 3688,"Hey, Randy. Uh, you want a beer?",3 3689,"Rabbit. Sorry, guys, I gotta go. (he leaves)",1 3690,"I like beer. We should go to Germany. MDR. JP.MDR. ",0 3691,Sadly not out of character. But I know now it's just a mirage.,1 3692,"You know who published an article on great Walt Whitman, and political semantics? Professor Hammersmith Oxford.",1 3693,"Yeah, that's just what Santa needs at 3:00 a.m. when he's battling a snowstorm over the Rockies: a sugar crash. No. Santa needs protein.",3 3694,Yes!,0 3695,Really?,2 3696,"Oh, welcome. You look really familiar. Are you a former athlete?",4 3697,Hmm.,1 3698,"Listen, if there is anything I can do to even begin to make things up to you.",2 3699,My apartment is a Chinese restaurant. What am I gonna do?,2 3700,"Glen McKenna, neat.",0 3701,"(baby voice): Uh-oh, I'm in "twubble."",0 3702,Uh... Simon dumped me in his van after the show.,4 3703,"First, I'm flattered. Then it's just jokes. A friend can joke on a friend's sister. Does not mean I'm going to act.",0 3704,You sure you're not upset?,0 3705,Uh-huh.,2 3706,What would your viewers think?,3 3707,You invited him to brunch?,1 3708,"Ahoy, The Captain.",3 3709,It was an whole chicken. And did I mention she had 12 sides?,1 3710,What?,1 3711,What happened?,4 3712,"Uh, yes. Salvation. I'm Ted.",1 3713,I know I'm sorry. It's terrible (grabs coat) I'll buy more dip (runs out),1 3714,"Excuse me, Captain, how do you feel about Ted and Zoey having an intimate chat by candlelight? It'll be the last dinner they ever have.",3 3715,I know. It's been what?,1 3716,"I'm sorry, Ted. I just can't do that.",2 3717,So? Possibly last day of work?,1 3718,(singing along with jukebox) Please can I see you every day?,1 3719,No.,2 3720,"Yeah, the talk sucks. You have to, like, talk. And be all, "I don't know.",0 3721,Really? 'Cause I could swear you fell straight out of heaven. Angel... Give him your number. What? Give him your number. What?,0 3722,"You know, the celebrities, they like really weird sex stuff. Believe me.",4 3723,Thank you. So what's new?,2 3724,"Red! Honey, be careful.",2 3725,Why are you wearing that?,4 3726,Sure.,3 3727,"According to Barney, Lily asking you to do your own dishes right away is a sign that your marriage falls apart.",1 3728,"Great, voicemail.",4 3729,"Hey, Chad, how's it hanging?",4 3730,"The Frozen Snowshoe. Oh, my God! You know Racket jelly? This is the most famous pro wrestler of Canada. I met him after his victory over Rick "The Daredevil" at the Rogers Memorial Arena in Kamloops in 2002. A classic.",4 3731,What? No. It's 2:30.,0 3732,"Oh, gross. What, you have some puritanical hang-up about prostitution? Dude, it's the world's oldest profession.",0 3733,"Yeah. I wish we had a dog, so they wouldn't go to waste.",2 3734,"Since I went out with Robin there is a trick that I have not used as much as I wanted. It is... rather large, surprisingly heavy, with the skin, and it's black. My friends, this is the book of... Roles.",0 3735,Hello?,1 3736,"You do not do anything wrong. It's great that you lost, because in life, no matter the effort you make, or how much you try, people give you things. Since graduation, jobs, promotions. No matter what you do on the ground, as... As you're having fun.",3 3737,Oh...!,0 3738,Two days straight?!,3 3739,"Ted, trust me. You don't want to do this.",0 3740,Of course. How could I forget?,3 3741,"Barney argued logically. Lily is a reasonable woman. I think if I explain, understand and can go in my opinion.",3 3742,"Oh, hey, Ted, there's a message on the machine for you. Dr. O'Brien.",3 3743,And we can explore how those policy changes will affect Iraq.,4 3744,She's gonna try to k*ll me. This is poisoned.,0 3745,"My book? Buddy... in two volumes, right here.",4 3746,"Yeah, why not?",4 3747,"Victoria, I deem your offering... worthy. My saga... continues.",0 3748,He left his phone in the limo. He's out looking for you.,0 3749,Lily... I'm sorry that I said all those things.,3 3750,"No, you shouldn't have! I love you, Lily.",3 3751,What guy?,1 3752,Gender: joy joy!,2 3753,Wow.,0 3754,"So, what happened next? Did you do it? Ted: Doesn't seem right to talk about it.",0 3755,"Oh, I love it. What are my powers?",2 3756,"You, shut up, baby-phobic.",1 3757,"Uh, yes. Salvation. I'm Ted.",1 3758,"You're right. You're right. I promised brad I would go to the wedding with him,and then that is it.",3 3759,This is a tough one.,3 3760,Really?,1 3761,"Hi, Douglas.",3 3762,What is wrong with you? You're just looking. It's like fantasizing about other women. It's harmless. Wait. Don't tell me you don't fantasize about other women.,0 3763,"This is me yelling at you, Barney!",3 3764,Bye.,2 3765,"Wow, wow, thanks for being so cool about this 'cause you know Claudia said...",1 3766,"Yeah, but we could still have some more romance. Now, you just say, "Want to do it?" And I say, "Yeah."",2 3767,You want to grab a drink right now?,0 3768,How do we know you two won't hurt us again?,2 3769,"Oh great, here comes the 'little Barney' speech.",1 3770,"Okay, the Turturkeykey is officially cooking.",1 3771,"Sure. Hey, where's the...? No! Aah!",3 3772,"You're not gonna tell him, are you?",4 3773,"OK.OK! Resolved. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to start being OK. Cheers.",3 3774,She can handle her Scotch.,0 3775,Terrific. I will see you there. And I'll be the guy in the awesome blazer. Ah ah ah I think you'll know the blazer when you see it. Oooh! I gotta go.,1 3776,"You know, there's one little flaw in our plan.",1 3777,I'll miss you too.,4 3778,That was not the signal!,1 3779,"Just to be clear, "I've done it again!"... Am not referring to my current state of inebriation.",3 3780,"Hi, Lindsay.",0 3781,"OK, I, I went to Love Solutions and I saw on Ellen Pierce's computer that you and I are a 9.6. Your fiance's only an 8.5.",1 3782,Baby...,3 3783,Sold.,4 3784,So... nobody saw The Young and the Restless?,2 3785,"Not everyone is you, okay, Barney? Even when I do start to have a dirty thought like that... it seems so much like cheating on Lily, that I feel guilty. So first, I need to have a different fantasy.",3 3786,"Ted Horn, critique my painting, anything, that's your business. But I catch you eyeing the mess of my guy and you lingered? You'll be received well.",2 3787,"Oh, I know. Can you imagine if we'd gone? We'd be just getting there now, all tired and cranky.",3 3788,I've finished your video resume myself. I posted it to all channels of the city. A guy called from Channel 8. He adores you. He wants you to pass an audition.,0 3789,Your new husband dismounted me out three times a day.,4 3790,The Foreskins are still playing?,4 3791,What?,2 3792,"Oh! Ugh! You are worse than my shrink. "Barney, we have to talk about your father." "Barney, I'm not going to teach you how to hypnotize people. You'll only use it for evil." "Barney, I am not going to conduct a couples session "between you and this woman. She's obviously a prostitute." I don't need this!",0 3793,"Robin, you gotta not worry so much about being liked.",1 3794,"Hey, punk! Bit of advice. Next time you step on a kindergarten teacher's neck, you better finish the job.",2 3795,"My God, it's hot!",4 3796,Don't you have a big date tonight?,3 3797,You have feelings for Ted.,2 3798,"Dude, you're k*ll me. You didn't tame the cougar. You just made her angrier.",3 3799,"And if you took a glass of wine first? (It shatters his glass on it voluntarily) Oooh boy! I'm dirty, it's me! I'm just a dirty, dirty girl... that would defeat the second base with a friend of a friend.Tui love it! It's pig!",4 3800,Okay-that's my Barney Limit. (Starts to leave the cab) I'm goanna see if that Bodega has a bathroom. (Leaves),2 3801,"Guys, listen to what just happened.",2 3802,Poor guy's gonna crash and burn.,0 3803,That's what we thought.,2 3804,"Like gangbusters. We're buddies again. After class, we hacked a little sack to the thumpin' strains of my Prof Rock CD. And no, none of them had heard the Pixies B-side. Actually, none of them had heard of the Pixies. Or a B-side.",1 3805,"No, Brad, no, it's...",4 3806,"So you can drive him to the fund-raiser. Supporting Marshall this much is driving me crazy. I'm going to Spain-- my flight leaves in 45 minutes. Adios, muchacho.",2 3807,I'm from New York. We think getting minors drunk is funny.,2 3808,I'm gonna help lily pee.,4 3809,"So, we're hitting it off and then her friend shows up and they're kinda competitive.",1 3810,On the other device.,3 3811,"Hmm, tell you what... no dice.",1 3812,"Oh, once I am the soul man. There was this pretty girl who only go out with black.",0 3813,(Stopping him) Please. (Silence) We are international businessmen. My colleague accidentally left the bags there now please let us go before we miss our international business meeting.,0 3814,"Super. Here are your tasks for the weekend. Ted, you're gonna go see the neighbors. Marshall, you go see Lily. Robin and I need you for a crouched position on an animal skin in our chalet. Ready? Break!",0 3815,"Worse. Pregnancy. If a baby's on board that train, it is headed straight back to Manatee City... where the grass ain't green and the girls ain't pretty.",0 3816,"Yeah, me, too.",3 3817,No.,3 3818,So what do you guys have going on tonight?,2 3819,"Ted, I hate to say this, but I think it's "nail the receptionist" time.",4 3820,Oh! I can't decide. It could be any one of them.,4 3821,"Not only are you wrong, but you are belligerently sticking to your g*n and insulting me in the process. Robin Scherbatsky- you are an American.",0 3822,"tss (He looks at a girl but Wendy is right behind, she smiles, he looks desperate)",0 3823,They've been surgically removed by Dr. Awesome.,4 3824,"Huh, guy didn't jump",3 3825,Straight to the hotel?,1 3826,"Susan, her name is Virginia.",0 3827,I didn't want to just viciously attack someone out of the blue like some kind of...,4 3828,Water has flowed under the bridge...,3 3829,What's happening guys?,4 3830,"No. I need a ruling. Um, I'm... Yeah, this is stupid. It's not even a big deal, but I'm on my way over to Robin's right now. She got a new juicer. Whatever. We're going to test it out.",1 3831,"Here is another. More random bitch to my birthday! Hey, baby!",2 3832,"I know what it is. I am a presenter. But I had to accept a job on a morning show that starts at 4:30. I thought evolve much faster than that, you know? I'm almost 30 years.",4 3833,"Oh, OK, OK, I see what you're doing.",1 3834,Pfft. Not us.,0 3835,Hey.,4 3836,I'm sorry. Go ahead and jump.,2 3837,"No, it wasn't like that.",4 3838,So how was your first prom?,1 3839,"And Shea, well... She's...",2 3840,"Wait, how can a pumpkin costume be sexy?",4 3841,The crocodile you saw?,3 3842,"Hello, good topics. Look what I won at the festival.",1 3843,"Because you're acting like one of those guys, and those guys are lame.",2 3844,(to himself) But she's afraid of commitment.,1 3845,"No, I'm not going to wear the medal of honor. That would just be tacky.",0 3846,Where?,1 3847,Wh-what plant? What are you talking about?,2 3848,You have not chosen one of Sven because he was better. You wanted an office dinosaur.,3 3849,You're lying.,4 3850,Yeah. This intervention isn't for me. It's for you,1 3851,"Yes, I just told them you were wimps. It has made us laugh. Poilade good, actually. I said that you did manicure every month.",3 3852,"Okay, let's have a big hand for Robin the reporter. All right, our next guest is another friend...",2 3853,"Hey, how was your day?",1 3854,What the hell was that? You trying to get it drunk?,2 3855,What are you doing?,0 3856,It's always food.,0 3857,If you hang up no...,2 3858,You were picturing your crush!,1 3859,"So, she lied to me? What, what am I gonna do? I can't confront her 'cause then she'll know I told you.",1 3860,Of course we can still be friends.,1 3861,"Sweden, this is not France. You know that?",3 3862,Call her.,1 3863,What's the matter?,4 3864,"I promise you, she's not married. She's not great at parking legally either.",3 3865,Need i remind you what happened with me and Wendy the waitress?,0 3866,"As honored as I am by the offer, um... (Phone chirps) Oh, my God. They're not having a baby. What am I getting all up in my head about? That research job sounds hard. And I'm pretty. I'm really, really pretty.",4 3867,I still do.,2 3868,"You know, been... on a "date."",1 3869,"The handles are great. Listen, Lily, if you learned something today, is that honesty is important in a family.Whatever your feelings about my mother, we've been together for 12 years, baby. I think I can handle it.",3 3870,Claudia.,1 3871,"No, I must go.",0 3872,"Actually, I just resign.",1 3873,"Oh, God.",3 3874,"Wait, Robin, what exactly did Don say when he asked you out?",2 3875,Telepathically?,1 3876,"Oh, we never joke about b&b's, especially at the height of syrup season.",3 3877,How about her?,0 3878,"No, I'm really not gonna go.",4 3879,"Oh, you're bad.",2 3880,"OK, I need like five minutes to change and um, I'll call you from the cab...",4 3881,We're so lovable.,2 3882,Right?,1 3883,Sure you don't want one?,1 3884,"She didn't say her name, but she had blonde hair, boobs. Kind of trashy.",2 3885,"No, you... (His phone starts beeping) Hold on. (beep) Hello?",1 3886,"Five years! God, if I even went one year, I would be out on the street selling it for a nickel.",2 3887,"Come on, give us a number. Lily guessed eight, but I know my boy got to double digits.",3 3888,That goes on for three-and a half minutes.,4 3889,I want the perfect group sh*t. Marshall put yourself between Robin and Barney.,2 3890,That's not the same with me and Tiffany. Listen.,1 3891,"Uh, no, thank you. Still got it.",1 3892,"Ted, you're my cabron. You think I'm gonna stick you with some toothless tr*nny from the Port Authority? Look at how hot she is. Robin would be so jealous.",0 3893,This ought to be good. I can only imagine the quality of girls...,1 3894,"Well, you didn't get your dad's close-the-deal gene, that's for sure.",0 3895,Damn it then!,2 3896,"Lily, it does not work. You should not be there.",4 3897,"No, no, no, do not drink, it's a trap!",1 3898,Come on.,1 3899,A song about the number of girls that Barney has typed recently.,3 3900,Looks great girls. Who wants crapes of,3 3901,Lenny Kravitz will be there?,4 3902,"OK this is fun. Look at this picture. It's a rabbit! You can look at it for hours and be absolutely sure it's a rabbit. But then one day, you look at it and you realize, "wait a second, it's a duck!" Rabbit, duck, rabbit, duck. Isn't it fun?",1 3903,"No. For two reasons. A, pigeons are smarter than you think. They are resentful. And two, it's our last conference call, Mr. Stinson. There are repercussions to ride a friend.",3 3904,Really? Look. Tyler? Tyler? Tyler? Grant?,0 3905,Too close. (Someone knocks on the door) You've got to be kidding me. What do we do?,2 3906,But but Lily Project!,4 3907,"Arthur, I'm here because I made a mistake. I fired Randy yesterday.",3 3908,"My God! It's horrible. Dandelion will make it? Okay...You're strong! Dandelion is not sick, huh?",3 3909,"Hey, I'm just sitting here. Wearing my ring... my beautiful ring. Kind of makes wearing other stuff seem wrong. Like my shirt. Kind of don't wanna wear my shirt anymore. Or... my underwear. Oh-that's right-I'm not wearing any.",2 3910,"500 bucks! Who's a real painter now, Marshall?",2 3911,"Oh, right. That key. Yeah, I lost it.",2 3912,Please don't put that kind of pressure on me! It's too much!,2 3913,Do not be jealous. We hang out together all the time.,2 3914,"No, I just thought it would be cool to get a caterpillar tattoo, and then a few weeks went by, and all of a sudden...",1 3915,"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I get it, okay, you guys know I'm a little superstitious, and you guys are trying to freak me out. Well, guess what? It didn't work. So, there.",3 3916,"Suck it, grand-butt!",3 3917,"Who wants espresso?",2 3918,"Okay. Albondigas. This will be our little albondigas. I have balls, please? Arthur and Nasmith, the eccentric genius, investment guru, it's actually... Arty the cracked one-man band of 15th Street. (In the street...) Excuse me. One can argue?",3 3919,And you invited back for a second interview.,1 3920,"But, yeah, no, it'll be great.",2 3921,(hitting Ted with every word) Never...break...up...with...a...girl...on...her...birthday!,2 3922,"Damn, he's looking mighty fine in that tux.",1 3923,What? You're crazy. This is false.,4 3924,I don't think that's how you're supposed to greet a customer at Big Wave Luau.,1 3925,It's a disease?,3 3926,You're more amazing than a Tim Hortons donut. Timmy Ho!,4 3927,"Yeah, but where we're going to end?",2 3928,We fought with him. So we will go and tell everyone the legendary story of how we b*at types. And everyone will find it great and everyone goes back to bed with me.,0 3929,That's her napkin.,3 3930,"Please. Kids, let's rap. You guys don't give half a brown Crayola what I do for a living, do you?",0 3931,"Because I love her. I love her! I told her that the first night we went out, and here it is, eight months later, and nothing's changed. So yes, I know this isn't gonna work. But it has to work! You hear me, universe? This is Ted Mosby talking! Give me some rain! Come on! Come on! Come on...!",1 3932,We broke up.,1 3933,Marshall!,4 3934,Really?,4 3935,"For the last time, Barney, I will not be your butler.",3 3936,"Wow, you really are awful at this, aren't you?",0 3937,"Yeah, what are you doing tonight?",3 3938,"Really? Are you sure? Wow, that snuck up on me.",1 3939,I have not spent... It is not that part of the night I was talking about.,1 3940,"See. All this time, I thought you need a wingman to fly, but the truth is you... you've got your own wings now.",0 3941,We get it.,1 3942,"Well, that's why I left a note.",2 3943,What's a woman in her 60s or 70s? A turtle?,1 3944,"Use your words, Ted.",0 3945,"Oh! Okay. Okay. Thank you, Randy. I've been meaning to cut back on my caffeine.",3 3946,Your ink arrived.,4 3947,"Hey, look at you.",0 3948,"Yeah, I'm sure my folks are gonna want...",1 3949,Scooter works in the Ikea cafeteria 'school. We talked.,2 3950,"Certainly not. Unless you were thinking... "Baffegiving two: Revenge of the lower" in this case, yes, that's what I'm saying!",3 3951,"It's fantastic, Mr Cootes!",3 3952,"Okay, how 'bout if I, um...",4 3953,No thank you... drag ignorant.,2 3954,"I know, sweetie. I know. Delete it!",2 3955,"You not count... What interest not to do? How do you know... Lily, what were you doing with the team before I arrive?",3 3956,"Yeah, but you always keep your toothbrush in the bathroom, which is, incidentally, also weird.",1 3957,You told Marshall?,4 3958,You see? All the time.,3 3959,And I'll call.,0 3960,"And some French influence inside! He was an architect with a poet's soul, really.",1 3961,"God, my stomach! Damn you, Gazzola's!",3 3962,I didn't know I still had this.,2 3963,"Actually, what you did not care for us? I thought you had the perfect plan.",4 3964,What?,4 3965,We're combing upsars? What does that mean?,3 3966,You know what? To hell with your dibs. I'm going over there right now and talking to her.,1 3967,And for your naturalization.,0 3968,"Absotively. But let's just remember, I mean, nobody's the same as they were in college. You know, it's like, I wear a suit to work every day.",3 3969,Styrofoam trees.,1 3970,"Forgive you for what? (Lily leaves with he car) Lily. Lily! Hey, Lily, this is Ted, the guy you left stranded by the side of the road. I just wanted to say good luck with the interview, remember to pick up some milk... Oh, and, when I get home, I'm going to k*ll you. And, also, I texted you the same thing. (He calls Barney) Hey, I need a big favor.",1 3971,"Yeah... here's the thing about me and tools... the only one I know how to use is attached to me, and I am not going to try putting it in the TV. Again.",0 3972,What do you want?,2 3973,Yes!,2 3974,Is that an abbreviation for something?,1 3975,Then you're fired.,1 3976,"Oh, San Francisco!",2 3977,"They know who you are. All right, guys. It lets you go without kick your ass. This time. Okay?",0 3978,For America.,3 3979,"Pete, please. I am unemployed. I have a huge mortgage. A baby arriving. And I'm about to lose a job that I really need because of a drunken video of 15 years ago.",3 3980,No thank you.,1 3981,"Dude, that's my girlfriend.",1 3982,"Exactly, yes.",2 3983,Great. So you want to come over and make juice?,4 3984,"Well, i don't. I don't have one and i never will be because it's a great idea. Come on, guys! She's gullible. I'm bored. We're perfect for each other.",0 3985,That's totally you.,3 3986,What the hell are you doing? You can't buy this place; lily you have a debt of the size of Mount Waddington!,4 3987,$ 500? No worries.,4 3988,Pack milk Manitoba?,2 3989,I guess you also think she is sexier than me.,3 3990,I was not...,2 3991,Who was that?,4 3992,"(to Barney) Dude, I'm starving. Let's... Let's just have the stupid talk. Come on.",4 3993,"Man, this is great. I was expecting bad news. I really was.",3 3994,"Okay? It's awesome. It's a win-win. Ted got to vent and I don't have to hear it. Maybe after he's done with the talkie-talk, he'll come over and I'll get the fun part.",4 3995,"Oh, good luck, baby.",2 3996,Yep. Off the market. He's taking her to Cafe L'Amour this Friday night.,4 3997,"We will hit all five parties before midnight, and then narrow them down to one, the most awesome party in New York City and that is where we will ring, nay rock, in the new year.",1 3998,"Oh, I know. But did he tell you the whole story?",2 3999,Damn it!,3 4000,"She's giving me nothing! He's just staring at me! She's just staring at me! It's making me nervous. Great, now my left eye is twitching.",3 4001,"Hey, so I talked to Robin. I guess she and Max hooked up last night.",2 4002,"I'm sorry. I can't do this if it means tearing down The Arcadian. It's an architectural landmark. Plus, people live there. How does GNB plan to get hundreds of residents to just up and leave?",1 4003,You don't know the first thing about architecture.,1 4004,"Ted, you're ruining this for everyone.",3 4005,Your son?,3 4006,"Boy, Barney, stop with your abandonment issues. Ted has the right to have a life outside the group. As we all.",2 4007,"This just in" is what I'm gonna say when I'm stabbing you.,4 4008,It's like an entire country without a tailor.,0 4009,I had left to do... flawless.,0 4010,"No, the other part, please.",3 4011,OH COME ON!,1 4012,"No, I'm just kidding. This is great. I really, I really missed this.",3 4013,"Apology accepted, Barney. As you can see, I do just fine on my own. I don't need a baby-sitter.",1 4014,I would like to have your insurance.,3 4015,"Look, I miscalculated. I thought she'd be old and fragile, like most cougars. But kitty's got claws. Don't worry though. Tonight, I'm seeing her again.",0 4016,"Do you like is great, you, me and Marshall. Really, think about it.",2 4017,I had a message from Barney. "Look under the table." (She looks under the table and finds an envelope) A page from the Book of Roles.,2 4018,"You look fantastic in them, Robin. But don't you think they're a little high for that dress?",2 4019,You can't call g*n for eternity.,4 4020,"Mary is a friend of Barney's. Barney invited her. Just met Mary ourselves. Don't know too much about Mary. Look, a beer.",3 4021,I do not know but we should bring him in and discover.,3 4022,"Yeah, well, we'd better get going, it's like a four-hour drive.",2 4023,You know what? It's a new batch of old coasters. I will confirm with the bartender.,2 4024,"Yes, it's... a little hot. I hope this is not a problem.",1 4025,"No, I'm just gonna wait for the next time Marshall really screws up, and then, I'll just slip this in, and it won't seem so bad by comparison.",2 4026,No.,0 4027,"Oh, my God. I'm gonna be an uncle?",0 4028,"Please, stop.",1 4029,"Well, last night, it was nice today, less.",1 4030,I think your prospects are good for GNB. U you have shown me that you can take any position.,0 4031,I'll get the video camera.,0 4032,Oh my God. He's trying to seduce me.,3 4033,You can get rid of it.,2 4034,Not good enough.,2 4035,"Yeah, I got mugged by a monkey. I was embarrassed, so I invented another story. The important, Lily, you do not need a w*apon.",3 4036,Best friend.,0 4037,"Oh, my God.",1 4038,I stole a blue french horn for her... I was with her for a year.I wanted her to be the mother of my children and spend eternity in his arms.,1 4039,As your best man...,0 4040,I'll try.,0 4041,Two dudes on the couch together watching p*rn? That's kind of weird.,0 4042,83 years. How old are you?,0 4043,I hate Robin not to have done better.,3 4044,T-Diddy! You've missed that!,0 4045,"Oh, slap bet. We used to do those when I was a kid.",1 4046,You're going to the hospital?,4 4047,"You can't give up now. What if I told you that you could relive that night with the exact same conversations, the exact same jokes, only this time you get her and I don't.",0 4048,"Okay, you know, cute coincidence, Barney. Whatever. I just got on the phone with the NR...",3 4049,"It works for me. Robin, you do the honors?",1 4050,This is a bride. There will be another crisis.,2 4051,What?,1 4052,It's going to happen.,1 4053,Hi.,4 4054,"Oh, yeah!",3 4055,"Robin, a word of advice: play along. Okay, the more you fight it, the worse it's going to get. It's like when your car slides on ice, you steer into the skid.",1 4056,And there's more. Do you still do that thing where you give people in need clothes for job interviews?,0 4057,Yes.,4 4058,You're not convinced a girl that you were the first to walk on the moon? It was seven years before you were born.,1 4059,"Scooter, when I go off to college, that's the end for us.",2 4060,They're going to fire him? That sucks. He loves that job.,1 4061,Is the card laminated?,3 4062,"Wow, wow, wow, Girlfriend? Hey, come on.",0 4063,We shall.,2 4064,"Ted. I think these local new yorkers know more about the city than we do, so relax. We're in very capable hands.",0 4065,"And I love you, Shannon.",0 4066,"No, I mean, I guess I don't know how to do this girlfriend thing. I've never been in a relationship this serious before. I should probably go tell him I'm sorry, shouldn't I? You're trying to do it right now, aren't you?",4 4067,You are wrong. The ladies dig the professor look.,1 4068,"If it's someone you see on a regular basis, and you can't avoid them...",3 4069,"Kids you know that photo in the den? It was taken back in 2006, when Grandma and Grandpa came to visit me and we all went out to brunch. We all look pretty happy, right? Wrong.",1 4070,I'm ready. Let's get married.,3 4071,"Oh, yeah, I agreed to that.",4 4072,You have swallowed this painting?,1 4073,And old friend from Canada is in town and I'm meeting him for a drink.,4 4074,Is this just 'cause you lost your "Get Psyched" mix?,4 4075,"Wait, so... they attack Doug.",1 4076,"Oh, cool. I wish I didn't have to go to work in the morning.",4 4077,"Lily, I told you not to call him that.",4 4078,Robin Stinson!,0 4079,Yeah?,0 4080,Independents. Every relationship goes through there.,2 4081,"So, I am responsible for... Excellent. Excellent.Excellent. The next tour is for me!",0 4082,"Right, because here it is. It is this type! (A woman enters) Let him at least a chance. Get out a bit with it, see if it can give something.",3 4083,"Marshall, you wanna do?",2 4084,"Oh, uh, once or twice.",0 4085,"You know what, Doug? I will gladly pay. And why?As adults do. They pay their glasses, and they fight it. You know what I did when you were kids? That's what I did.",3 4086,"Yes, they did. And you're just in time. Girls, I got to go, but I'm leaving you in very good, if slightly sullied hands.",1 4087,"No, that wasn't the lie. The lie was when you told Nora you were lying. Because you weren't. You want that stuff, Barney, I know you do.",2 4088,Mike!,4 4089,"Okay, you can have a baby, but only under the following conditions: 1-You promise to always love me more than the baby, 2-Once a month, I can use to shake the baby, 3 - It may include a drop baby from the first floor and that saves me; 4-No breastfeeding in front of me. Forget the five-four, get out your breasts when you want.",0 4090,I'm staying.,1 4091,"Yeah, this whole thing got us thinking. Maybe we're not ready for kids yet after all.",2 4092,What if it's worse than Crocodile Dundee III? I can't do this. I can't... My mom is about to collapse. I'm gonna...,3 4093,"OK, it's back and this time we got a good look.",2 4094,You'll be on the other side of the river. You'll be in New York all the time.,3 4095,"This stupid feud isn't going to end until Marshall and Barney finally talk about their feelings, cry, and then hug it out like they do on Oprah.",2 4096,Let me get this straight. You're gonna trike block me? That is so petty. It's like you're...,1 4097,"Yeah, but Zoey is friends with us now, too. It's not like Ted can just ghost out on her. She'll always be around.",4 4098,He hasn't been back home to Minnesota since Christmas. He's a little excited.,2 4099,"Well, I'm sure they don't remember. I mean, it's been like 30 years since that completely made-up story didn't happen.",4 4100,I am already involved with Ted.,4 4101,I think I'm in love with you.,0 4102,Comparable.,1 4103,That was a hundred?,3 4104,"Yeah, okay, now we're getting to the good stuff.",0 4105,"Okay. Wait. Right click, save as... Into the.bpeg folder, and okay. This never happened. It's a good plan.",0 4106,Are you legally certified by some type of gouverning entity?,3 4107,Yeah.,2 4108,"Oh, you're exquisite. You must let me paint you.",0 4109,"Oh, crap. My mom sent cookies?",3 4110,Lost at sea!,3 4111,"Sorry, big guy. Honesty is hard, but ultimately it is the softer alternative. (Mike enters with the laundry basket) I must tell you something. You've finished the laundry fragile?",4 4112,I still think we should have won as Sonny and Cher. Maybe if I had worn that red dress. Ha! If I could turn back time.,3 4113,I think that's true.,4 4114,Okay.,2 4115,I love you.,2 4116,"Oh, I wish I could... I think Lily and I are just goi...",3 4117,"That's great, Ted.",2 4118,"Hey, buddy, I think you got a tiny little bit of marinara sauce on your tie there.",3 4119,"Well, guess what, I haven't been crazy or jealous or paranoid in months, and I really miss it.",2 4120,Don't get cocky. Wimbledon lasts a fortnight.,0 4121,Ted will not be much there. It follows Cher's tour.,4 4122,It's a Christmas-themed movie snack!,1 4123,"Yeah, you see, guys, we were really struggling with this decision.",3 4124,No time.,1 4125,"Oh my God. This is huge! I am invited to the Ball of Architects, the annual gala honoring the greatest architects of the city. Oh no. You guys see the problem?",1 4126,"So I threw the pressure air oxygen into its mouth. I sh**t the t*nk, boo, nomore shark. Mr. Hall and I swam back to shore. Hey,let me serve you a drink.",0 4127,"Oh please, I'm so sick of the "meet-market" scene. Guys are like a subway. You miss one, another one comes along in five minutes.",4 4128,"This guy is awesome. It's funny, smart, beautiful. You have him to nab it before someone else.",3 4129,She just sent me a message clearly intended for someone else.,1 4130,"Give me ten sessions, I'm going to turn that "no" into a "yes."",1 4131,"I thought you had mentioned, sorry. (The waiter brings them two glasses of champagne) This is an engagement ring?Are you...?",4 4132,"No. No, we don't know where it is.",0 4133,"Oh. Hey, buddy, that's Lily. I should take that. But, uh, you're a good guy, Ted. Hey, baby.",3 4134,Freaking ten ends.,3 4135,"Stop trying to chase down some magical, perfect New Years, Ted. It doesn't exist.",0 4136,"Oh, that sucks. Although I like you two together.",2 4137,"Well, that's just not true.",1 4138,Yeah. Just one thing we got to do first.,3 4139,Exactly.,4 4140,Do it yourself.,3 4141,Last night? 8:30.,0 4142,"Yeah, I heard you moan from below.",3 4143,Where was your meal?,1 4144,There are several different versions.,1 4145,OK.,3 4146,"What are you talking about? I got the low-maintenance, just-rolled-out-of-bed look.",1 4147,Gonna miss the old place.,3 4148,So fame was...,2 4149,Wow. That's a pretty good omelet.,1 4150,Not if you don't get the signal.,1 4151,Us? What would we do?,2 4152,What...,0 4153,Why in God's name would I say that?,1 4154,I'm bigger than him.,1 4155,"Baby, what are you talking about?!",3 4156,"So, you don't think there's any friend from Canada?",1 4157,"So, that's it, huh?",4 4158,Did she used an excuse for physical contact?,1 4159,She loves lasagna.,1 4160,"You're the man every boy should be and every girl should marry. You know what? I have two boys under way that will not stop fighting. If you come to school tomorrow to tell them your story of choice of the path of nonviolence, it could put them right. And avoid me getting up early to prepare lessons.",2 4161,OK.,1 4162,Chicka-chicka!,1 4163,Look what we did yesterday.,1 4164,I gave them to you for your birthday.,4 4165,Milk and lutefisk? Santa doesn't get cookies in Minnesota?,2 4166,Sweet.,1 4167,I think that emergencies are taking applications like that.,3 4168,"Hey, there's the anchor lady! How was it?",2 4169,What?,1 4170,18 weeks.,0 4171,"Oh, and I suppose I didn't get a real T-shirt for running in their 10K.",0 4172,"I plotted my revenge for weeks. But nothing seemed right. Then it hit me. The answer was so elegant and simple-- an exploding meatball sub. For months, I experimented. More... marinara sauce. Finally, the sub was perfected. The plan was in place. The snare was baited. And then...",0 4173,Bluntly.,1 4174,"You're welcome. There is also "revenge", "bounce back", "parachuting". When you're traveling, but instead of going to the hotel, you'll live in a bar to find a girl to get a foothold.",0 4175,They have a big problem.,0 4176,"Yeah, but... and I don't want to be rude here, but my work stories are interesting. I'm a television news reporter.",4 4177,She's superhot and she's so successful.,3 4178,"There were three of them, at least two g*n... they took all our money.",1 4179,So that's what you decided?,1 4180,"Funny, you look like you just got two vodka and tonic in the face.",1 4181,It just fell.,0 4182,"I can't stay in these heels any longer, I just can't. There's a cab over there. I'll just run back to the apartment and change shoes.",2 4183,"Yes, I cry! You hit me in the nose!",1 4184,"It wouldn't, would it? Any one of those three. Whichever's easiest and right nearby. And not the beer.",1 4185,"Butterfield is going to retaliate within the next four hours. That's been his pattern. This is w*r, Eriksen. I need you to clear your schedule, call Lily, tell her you'll be home late.",0 4186,This thing with your uncle.,4 4187,What is it?,0 4188,That's awful.,1 4189,I know you do. Come here. It's okay. Look... Marriage is big. You're allowed to freak out.,1 4190,"I mean, it is just a burger.",4 4191,Ask her about the pineapple.,3 4192,We want him. We are all really happy for you.,3 4193,"Actually, I met him in the park.",4 4194,That was close.,3 4195,"Yup. If she tells you you're an idiot, you're a lucky man. And if she does say "I love you," she's already broken up with you in her mind.",1 4196,"Okay, that's been going on a while.",3 4197,Barney and I have this running joke that the first guy to actually pull this off would win the championship belt.,1 4198,"Monday?! Where's she going to sleep and eat and go to the bathroom?! Okay, where's she going to sleep and eat?",1 4199,"Are you nuts? That would involve me speaking to a woman I've already had sex with, which, frankly, is a little t like changing the oil in a rental car.",0 4200,"Actually, Anita Barney went to see him because I have requested.",4 4201,"Oh, my God, that sucks! Yeah. I'm gonna go do push-ups in the kitchen. Tantrum!",1 4202,It was Legen... wait... the Autumn. Legends of the Fall!It was fun.,0 4203,"Hey, Mister Whisper. You should not be up there to draw your super PTE?",3 4204,"Whoo! I did it! I got a girl's phone number! Oh, and her handwriting is so cute. Look. I'll take her out for Chinese food and then we'll walk through the park. It'll be so... What?",3 4205,Why not arrange to meet you here tomorrow night to 22h.,0 4206,Just like old times!,1 4207,I'm gonna go pay.,3 4208,Pete has a small dick?,1 4209,"Well, the movers arrive in 14 hours. We have to go back to finish the boxes.",2 4210,"Wow, so it's the whole package.",3 4211,There is one other thing we could do. If you're up for it.,0 4212,We're just trying to make sure he's not a heel.,2 4213,"Ok, I have never said that, but over the years, some of my friends from high school asked me to give speeches at their weddings, and they have not gone well.",1 4214,Or Lily put it there for fun. That bitch is stuffed. I took it.It's just... so cute. Sock.,4 4215,Let's go!,2 4216,"Not bad. And: "I k*ll a man with a shovel, and those feelings resurface"?",1 4217,"Okay, if it's that easy, I'm gonna delete one of your numbers from your phone, see how you like it.",4 4218,You want to tussle? Let's tussle.,4 4219,"Hey, Christine.",3 4220,"Oh, hell, no!",2 4221,I never said I'd do that. I thought it arrives. That would be the worst disaster if I called?,1 4222,We can tell you...,0 4223,"Tell me... Did you see the real Barney driving the taxi, and you thought it was a little Asian pot-bellied.",3 4224,"Barney, this is the third time you've hit on me by accident.",4 4225,I can borrow your mini pig?,1 4226,"Barney, you know what? If you're going to be disgusting, we're not watching this, okay?",4 4227,Let me guess. Someone wants to knock... boots. Boots. (imitating g*n),1 4228,You took the Heads or tails job?,1 4229,Maybe we should just go back to being neighbors.,3 4230,"Robin! Hey, Robin! (Robin opens up her window) Oh, thank God you're here!",1 4231,"Bye, Mom.",3 4232,No more than I do.,3 4233,What?!,0 4234,I keep thinking there's something wrong with me.,3 4235,"Oh, by the way, we're all baking pies at robin's tomorrow. Marshall can't be trusted in the apartment with pies overnight.",2 4236,Yeah.,4 4237,"Okay, let me get this straight. You just snuck this girl into some stranger's apartment?",4 4238,I want to go into this club and find my fiancé.,2 4239,I sent them shit.,0 4240,"Pete, please, remove the video.",3 4241,Friends don't let friends drink and dial.,2 4242,I think so. My two best friends have planted and I saw nothing.,1 4243,"No, uh, we're good. We're good. Happy New Year, Not Moby.",0 4244,It was really nice.,3 4245,You can not get back with Karen.,2 4246,And then...,3 4247,You amaze me that such an expert is to keep people on your hook. And this poor cameraman your job?,1 4248,"Ted, didn't you tell me they need a new assistant in your office?",4 4249,I was on the spot. This is your fault.,0 4250,"Biking upside down. Well, listen. If it should happen on occasion, they say nothing to anyone. Sold.",1 4251,"Oh, baby, you were also going to run over Ted.",3 4252,You know it.,1 4253,"Ted, Ted, Ted, look, I got a bridesmaid, Ted, look, look, Ted, the second hottest bridesmaid, Ted, look. See ya Ted.",0 4254,I told you.,0 4255,"I never thought this would be a bad thing, but my wardrobe just isn't slutty enough.",4 4256,Hmm... Boo... freakin'... hoo.,1 4257,"Good night, Barney.",1 4258,Oh guys.,4 4259,"It's not a euphemism. Listen... Wait, what does that mean?",3 4260,You go out with idiots cute?,1 4261,Free beer for everyone!,3 4262,It's happened before.,0 4263,"Oh right, hi.",1 4264,I won a Tony!,3 4265,"Yeah, I understand.",4 4266,"Awesome! I bet the guys were going crazy. Oh, I bet they wanted to touch her so bad. But all you can do is look, unless you go into the back room, but honey, you got to pay for that.",2 4267,"(On Phone) Really? Well I thought it was kinda weird, but if you're cool with it. Yeah. It's off and she's talking to some guy. Do you want me to go over and...",4 4268,The Foreskins? How'd you guys come up with that name?,1 4269,"Oh, dude, not now!",3 4270,Nothing. I think you are... very beautiful today.,3 4271,"Internet footage of a guy getting hit in the nuts, exactly! So we are gonna get our bro a four-star nad rattler. You search knees, feet, banisters, fire hydrants and diving boards, and I'll cover bats, rackets, hockey sticks, golf clubs and riding crops.",0 4272,Are you as terrified as I am?,2 4273,"Okay, well, we'll make a deal. You go first and then I still do not tell you what's wrong.",4 4274,She is.,3 4275,I should have mention the recoil.,4 4276,"No, you know what? This is fate. I am never supposed to see this girl again. That was the whole point of the night. I've just been saved from myself. Let's drink many beers.",1 4277,What the hell was that?,4 4278,"Helen, dryer stops!",1 4279,Natalie... I.,1 4280,"What? That was the off switch! And I turned it off. I mean sure yes, I wanna fall in love get married blah, blah, blah, but-on the other hand... you... me...the roof.",1 4281,I shop the sales. There were in the closet when we moved in. I steal. I'm a criminal. I once sh*t a man just to watch him die.,2 4282,I understand.,4 4283,Yeah. Or... it pretends to Holly and we are in the bath.,0 4284,"Well, thank you to her, the only thing that can prevent a stroke insured was about to walk out the door. A member of the New York Yankees World Champions in 2009.",0 4285,Implied dibs?,0 4286,That's putting it a bit strongly.,4 4287,Thanks for taking me.,4 4288,Friends that are found. I like it.,0 4289,"Well, I figured if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this right.",4 4290,"Lily, let us out of here.",4 4291,"Oh, Teddy, you are so going to spread your legs and design that building.",4 4292,Marshall had the writing translated.,1 4293,"You know, I am sensing a pattern here.",1 4294,Wait. What about sushi?,1 4295,I was gonna...,4 4296,"Either you stay here, or we break up. Wow. Um, look, let's just see how things progress, and if by September, we still feel...",1 4297,I would surely be in Argentina.,4 4298,I like your tatts.,1 4299,"I do not care if the dishes are not done. If you do not give a damn, do it.",3 4300,"Robin whining during the song Clint. Oh, I've already said. The super good sister of Ted, Heather!",0 4301,"Shh, don't say my name. Lily can't know it's me. Just pretend you're talking to Stella. Be all lovey dovey.",3 4302,"Need a ride, cowboy?",4 4303,I didn't say a thing.,4 4304,"Um, sorry I kept calling you like that. I was very drunk.",1 4305,"So what is the problem of Lily, not yours.",0 4306,"Well, we have to get in. I have to see this band, 'cause we have to make a decision by Monday, 'cause I'm getting married in 71 days, and we still don't have...",2 4307,But it's empty now.,3 4308,Is Bob coming?,1 4309,"I'm on the forums every day. In 3-5 Thanksgiving, I découperai turkey with my saber green.",3 4310,"It's for work, idiot! I make a great show and if I have not these pictures, I'm gonna get fired!",3 4311,"So, Jillian, it seems that when you not flash the bartenders, you are mistress of CE1. How is it?",4 4312,The whole world full of endless possibilities.,1 4313,Had to.,0 4314,That wasn't me.,2 4315,You know why jalapeno poppers are so good? It's the cream cheese.,1 4316,What is your problem?,1 4317,Ted.,1 4318,"Hello, Abby. So, uh, s-so you guys are dating now?",1 4319,"Come with me and Jillian, then.",2 4320,"Okay, be cool with me. This is a first draft.",1 4321,I'll bet anyone ten bucks I can get Ted to grow a moustache.,0 4322,We've been on this exact blind date before.,1 4323,I'm pretty impervious to stuff like that.,1 4324,Why don't you want me to have your grandkids?,4 4325,Yeah. Somebody did just quit.,1 4326,"Oh, wait, wait, wait. We have to turn around. We left Natalya.",0 4327,I'm gonna get a drink.,4 4328,... but I can not help thinking that goes well together.,0 4329,"You have lost your mind? You knew they were playing that first deflates, and what? You give them an engagement ring!Okay, that's good. I care. I return to the center stage for a final rupture.",2 4330,Cheers. Well said.,0 4331,"I'm not, I'm just trying to support her. She got a super-important dessert scholarship.",4 4332,"Oh, my God! Thank you! Oh, I k*ll my arm. My arm has never been so sore since I was 13 the day I knew how to close the bathroom. Cool!",0 4333,"Yeah, yeah. It was crazy. This one girl was like... Oh, hey.",1 4334,"Maybe for the same reason that I kept saying that I could run seven miles. I... I'm trying to be really, um, confident and positive about all this, but, baby, I'm really scared that we're not pregnant yet.",3 4335,"Hi, Matisse.",1 4336,"The Gazeur nickname stuck. He had so much ridicule, he had to change schools.",2 4337,You think it was kind of weird that Ted didn't invite me out with him?,3 4338,The Mosby! It's great! And... excuse me.,4 4339,"um, how about "Ryan"?",3 4340,But what are you doing?,4 4341,And her birthday might have been coming up.,1 4342,"Who was that, um, guy from Mash? The main guy. What...? Hawkeye from Mash. How can I be blanking on this?",0 4343,"Yes. The sea is all like, "Ted, come hang out."",1 4344,"This is the easiest date ever. You know what I'm gonna try next? A knock, knock joke.",0 4345,I dance more than you think.,3 4346,The girl who thought he had 12 hours to live has way more cause to ruin his life than the girl he faked proposed to.,2 4347,You can at least promise to not get pregnant within a year?,0 4348,You think they're doing it in front of the dogs?,0 4349,"What's up, G?",1 4350,"I know! They are not horrible? So really, you angry with me?",0 4351,Why do you say "the restaurant"? You've embraced elsewhere?,2 4352,"What are you waiting for? Ted, run!",3 4353,Barney.,1 4354,Tuesday at work. Some of the senior partners are really getting up there.,0 4355,"Why yes I am. Sorry, I could tell what you were just thinking.",1 4356,"Yeah. Yeah. This is some solid small talk. I had that other phone, and it was good, but I think the whole time a little part of me wanted this phone instead. This phone... um... feels right.",1 4357,"Suit up"... not convinced. This whole thing stinks to high heaven.,2 4358,"No, it is a mess.",2 4359,"60, 80, 100. $ 18 000 in cash. It's nothing. I'll bring it home and put them in a safe place. (Marshall is in the street) OK, walk down the street with money in his pocket. Not touch the money. It's so obvious. Be natural. The baby looks at me.Babies can smell money. It is known! I carry a lot of money!",3 4360,Yeah! Maybe that's where Scooby went.,1 4361,They rule. And yours is 100% wool so you won't get hypothermia like last year.,2 4362,I can... in a minute.,0 4363,I'm not The Blitz!,1 4364,"New bet, then. If you can finish your list before me, we will cover the laser PQ and you pay toilet paper.Biodegradable and not this crap. I want up there forever.",0 4365,"Ugh, that is bad. That is, like, high-school-literary-magazine bad.",2 4366,I say nothing.,4 4367,"Nothing to Ted, your course was on my way to work.",4 4368,One because you lied. And two for being prematurely slapped. Three slaps.,2 4369,Super. Relations are deadly...,0 4370,"It was a coincidence. After all this is how your romantic quest comes to an end? You hide in the wedding of another in his house in his life, without thinking twice. This is not the end spectacular than you deserve. It's not Ted Mosby.",4 4371,"See,Marshall? We got to have a bros' night at a strip club and both of our ladies are totally cool with it.",0 4372,"Well, you have to try. If you ever want to have closure...",2 4373,"Oh, maybe when you said you wouldn't let me do it.",2 4374,"Well, don't worry, the next exit's the hotel. We can go there.",3 4375,"Ok, name one celebrity who will be there.",4 4376,"Right there. Leonard Kravitz, world-renowned architect. This guy is a star. He will make his famous reading of 90 minutes on the beams.",1 4377,"You're right, no more gimmicks. One more gimmick.",1 4378,"Next time we go to Great Adventure, you're carrying your own sunblock.",1 4379,What? Why?,3 4380,Excuse me one minute.,1 4381,My dad's last words to me were a string of odd racial stereotypes.,3 4382,"Look, mister, you are very convincing, and I am very flattered. Confused, even. But I'm not looking...",1 4383,"Yes, you did, last night.",4 4384,"Come on, guys. It did not hurt while dancing.",2 4385,Check and check. She wants two kids... a boy and a girl.,1 4386,Making pies.,4 4387,"You, Me and Marshall are friends since college. Imagine how they account for one another. So when I look to the future, I see us all together. (Lily imagines the scene) When will retirees, sipping tea on the porch of our house, playing bridge all day.",2 4388,"Wow. She sounds pretty great, Punchy.",1 4389,Exactly. So I'm just going to wait for her to come to me. I am done trying to plan the unplannable.,1 4390,"You know what? I'm excited about this, Randy. You will be my next masterpiece. It's like with Ted. When I first met him, he was an even bigger loser than you.",0 4391,This is one of my best friends.,2 4392,Maybe watch some TV.,3 4393,How much did you guys drink last night?,4 4394,Good enough. Pretty... pretty good.,4 4395,"Hm, that's real healthy. So, when a serious issue comes up, your response is just to avoid it.",4 4396,"A little bit. Oh, a panda!",2 4397,"Oh, that? It's nothing. It cost me three months' rent, and uh, I have never worn because I bought it for a big party to which you would have asked what did not happen. But, you know what? Do not feel guilty.",4 4398,"Hello, lying bastards. No lies before I go to work to get fired?",1 4399,We're exes. We're probably due for a backslide. Or we could just do it the normal way.,0 4400,"Sup, Carl?",1 4401,Guys. Get yourselves together and start looking for Scooby. I'm on my way home.,4 4402,"But I think I know what happens. Yesterday, Barney felt obliged to say goodbye to someone he really likes. And it made him think... A baby joining our group might not be the worst thing.",2 4403,"No, Barney's got his own Thanksgiving tradition.",1 4404,How's it going with Robin?,3 4405,"No, you've just got to make it fun. For example, uh, every time I spot a grammatical error, I do a sh*t. I'm trashed right now, and I blame our public school system.",1 4406,"Oh, come on!",0 4407,"Ted, you should pitch your building to Druthers.",2 4408,"(On Phone) Hi, Marshall, it's Lily. We're not going have sex for at least a month. But you're awesome. Okay bye-bye. (Hangs up)",2 4409,Huh? Huh? Let's go.,0 4410,No! Do her! Do her now!,2 4411,"Uh, are you forgetting I've done this before? I was Marshall's best man.",1 4412,Seriously!,1 4413,Seems like I become more and more stupid.,4 4414,What's the Slutty Pumpkin?,4 4415,"Go, Barney. Go mount and stuff that cougar.",3 4416,Yes.,1 4417,We must stop smoking.,1 4418,I do not want to bite.,4 4419,"Yeah, it's really hard, even when you're sober. That's what I tried to explain to the cop.",2 4420,"So... Look, I know it didn't go as planned, but I can't help it. I mean... he's still got it.",4 4421,"Look who thinks he can come here and repeat the group. Well, you can forget. Pity, remake the group! I want to lose anyone yet! We're sorry. You can recite all the poems of assh*le that you want, we never say anything bad on it, I promise.",0 4422,"So, call him and tell him we decided not to have a baby.",2 4423,"Okay, meet me at the bar in fifteen minutes-AND SUIT UP!",0 4424,"Ooh, my story's on. Ted, pay attention. Carl, turn it up.",4 4425,"Oh, my god. Are you alright?",3 4426,Legendary!,0 4427,Okay.,0 4428,"I appreciate you, Don. Both, we love a good scotch, one likes my stories compelling. And we went out with Robin.",0 4429,"Yeah, I can not hang out with you.",2 4430,"Would you just have the talk, okay? It's a five-minute conversation, and then you get to have sex afterwards. It's great! Back me up, Ted.",3 4431,"Once mermaid-ified, there's only one way a woman can go back to being unattractive again, but it's pretty gruesome.",0 4432,I just called it.,0 4433,"Victoria, that was an honest and mature answer. You may advance to The Gumdrop Mountains.",3 4434,Want to have dinner with us tonight?,2 4435,"Hey, man, you would not possibly let someone who does not like a kind of mania old driving license?",3 4436,There must be some mistake.,1 4437,Hot wax?,2 4438,We've been waiting all day!,1 4439,"And we love you, drunk Ted.",3 4440,This is architecture. Go will study.,1 4441,"I know, I know... but no, then we met her and Ted... she's a world-class violinist, she's a gourmet cook and she can quote every line from Caddy Shack.",3 4442,"Hey, Stella. Sweetie, how's it going?",1 4443,"Hey, Arthur!",0 4444,A second time. This is a bad idea.,1 4445,"Oh, my gosh. That's so sweet. I'm so glad you're here. Hey, um, before I forget, Mom, did you remember to get more double-A batteries?",3 4446,Less interested.,1 4447,Say... "Ah...",4 4448,I got this.,4 4449,"Apparently, this big merger last week went wrong, and Barney wears the hat.",3 4450,"We wanted to call the chopper too early, but then he... sent text messages.",3 4451,What are you doing here? Lily let you go?,1 4452,"It's more than that, OK? This is our little rituals. You know what we did when I got home?",3 4453,"What happened is horrible, it does not mean that is the case for everyone.",2 4454,"This has to stop! Ted, we just started dating. We agreed we don't wanna move too fast and yet somehow we have a baby. He can't feed himself, he cries a lot, he keeps us up all night...",4 4455,What are you talking about?!,0 4456,Track maintenance? 20-minute delay?,2 4457,You can't. you can't tell anyone. Attorney-client privilege.,0 4458,You're sure they've seen us?,3 4459,And if I had already bought the son of a bitch?,1 4460,How about martinis?,2 4461,Hanging up on you once wasn't enough. (And then Barney hangs up),0 4462,No nightcap!,0 4463,Stashed a cooler behind the pulpit. Beer be with you.,3 4464,It's not like if you followed my progress. It is not even in the same department.,1 4465,"You're maybe Ohio, but you live in New York now. We do not bury our emotions in New York. We take our emotions and they are sent to the other side!",2 4466,"Just keep your eyes open. That's all I'm saying, Ted. Little things are gonna be changing around that apartment.",0 4467,"So, Lily and I go back to university bar. And you wonder if maybe you would come... You could watch me play skee-ball... do exactly what you did the other night, something like that. It's really up to you, I mean...",3 4468,Ted! Look at the facts. I dump her and she says "no hard feelings". She's a psycho! What other explanation is there?,0 4469,"I get it. And you were right. He's a nice guy. I mean, he can be a little scary.",1 4470,I offer you what? A drink? Money? These two girls over there?,0 4471,Barney. Go get her.,4 4472,""I just want to make sure you're okay with this"? Damn it! I can't believe she's the one that gest to say that. She's winning, isn't she?",1 4473,"Dude, that was weird.",3 4474,"There is more in 1950. Yes, you can.",0 4475,Really? You're like "Weird Al" Yankovic to write that song on how to jump my sister.,1 4476,"Marshall, do you know how the myth of mermaids came to be?",0 4477,"Condoms will expire.",0 4478,I just remembered how Ted is awesome.,2 4479,"Robin, you want to get coffee sometime...?",1 4480,"Look, I don't wanna be exactly like my family, and don't take this the wrong way, but I don't wanna be exactly like your family either.",3 4481,Finally.,2 4482,Hey.,1 4483,"I am so angry at my dad! Guess who called me today. Go on, guess.",0 4484,"Mr. Buttons? Oh, you son of a bitch. Fine. I'll be nice.",2 4485,"Of course, you idiot! (hugs him and they fall back)",2 4486,"Nobody likes being challenged! Couldn't she agree with me just once, even on something little, like... like what movie to see or-or what topping to get on our pizza or... oh, I don't know, my lifelong dream of building a skyscraper in New York City?!",1 4487,Right?,1 4488,"Hey, Ted.",3 4489,"Woman, you best check yourself.",0 4490,I did.,4 4491,"Okay, that's it. Do we must etablire rules?",1 4492,Simple. Remember in the movie Predator...,0 4493,I have not really been attacked by a monkey. I invented it for that Lily buys a g*n.,3 4494,You work right?,0 4495,I don't.,2 4496,"So guys, Marshall and I wanted to invite you to our place for a little couples' night.",2 4497,Marshall... we just named our baby. Jamie.,2 4498,I regret it at all.,3 4499,"Oh, that was a good one. This sales guy was rude to Robin, so I took a pair of khakis.",2 4500,"Ah, but "new is always better" is my oldest rule, which makes it the best.",0 4501,"Uhm, smells delicious.",0 4502,"Really? I couldn't imagine you cranky.",2 4503,What?,1 4504,Do you want to come over?,4 4505,Good.,4 4506,"Please. If you guys really want me to get over the worst tragedy of my life, I'm begging you, tear me a new one. But not like Rex tried to in my sleep last night.",3 4507,"All right Marshall, we're deciding right now who gets this apartment. It may lead to an argument, but we're settling this.",1 4508,"We have the same job, Barney.",4 4509,"I'm pretty sure that's what stunted my growth. I hit 6'4" in the fifth grade, and then I just stopped.",3 4510,Hmm?,0 4511,"Marshall, I'm sorry, really. Here's what happened.",0 4512,Come here.,2 4513,"Ok, Ted, we're not in college anymore, okay? We don't have to drive all night.",3 4514,"Ted, that beret looks stupid.",2 4515,I did worse after the premiere of "The Phantom Menace."It's been like that since we broke up?,0 4516,"Come on, Barney. I know that Marshall has not been mugged by a monkey.",4 4517,There is absolutely right.,1 4518,"Oh, uh, no. Um, the right one's ticklish, I guess. But the left one, yeah, I'm glad you're back there. Because that is just some sweet, sweet lovin'.",4 4519,"So, without you we would come out still together?",4 4520,You have nothing that resembles a mini cheeseburger?,3 4521,How do you know?,1 4522,Thank you.,1 4523,Sorry.,2 4524,"Yes, except I hate it. I'm too big for New York! I try to hold seats in the cramped subway or stoop under doors over 150 years. People are taller, have larger doors. What is your problem?",3 4525,Who?,4 4526,"Well, it was much better before you decide to go to your stupid super hot date with Anita. And now she broods, God knows where.",2 4527,You can not do it!,3 4528,You know what? That's good. I want my children to see every part of me.,3 4529,You wanna throw me out because of something with milk?,4 4530,See you on the other side.,4 4531,Let's go.,3 4532,"Guys, guys, what if-- God forbid-- all of your dads died right now? What would their last words to you have been? Seriously.",3 4533,And that? After World T.C Boyle?,1 4534,Vive la vodka.,0 4535,And how much did you pay for your costumes?,1 4536,I wonder where Ted went.,4 4537,"Ted's phone. Oh, hi Claudia. What?",2 4538,And?,1 4539,It's you who love the Chianti 2002.,1 4540,Hi. Two for dinner.,4 4541,Sounds like?,2 4542,Because I will not invite him to lunch... again.,1 4543,What?,4 4544,Because he's a thousand years old.,1 4545,"I'd have your back, too.",1 4546,From my vacacation in Vermont.,4 4547,Good luck buddy.,3 4548,"Oh, don't worry, it's gonna be great. I'm so excited.",1 4549,"Robin, do not smoke this cigarette.",3 4550,"But if he did, you would love all the same. And to be honest, you do not love to come across a video of him running down the street naked shouting, "Hey, Marshall, look at me! I have a stalactite on the head! "",2 4551,What? Why not?,1 4552,"The other day while playing with the little Jeremy, I was talking with his mother.",2 4553,"Sorry. Five. Recently widowed. So, I'm talking to this girl...",0 4554,It takes a surveillance van!,3 4555,Last week you were a waste that nobody was looking.Now you're Sports-man.,0 4556,We gotta go back to Paris.,2 4557,"But if, little flirtatious.",0 4558,This morning I was in the gymnasium of the box to play basketball. The guys from work can be quite violent with their taunts.,3 4559,"Relationships are like that. I mean, look, when you first met Don, you hated him, you thought "This guy's a duck", but one of these days you're gonna realize "This is actually someone that I love, he's a rabbit".",3 4560,And Marshall who works all the time?,4 4561,I was hoping that you say that.,3 4562,"Well, that did it.",3 4563,"Now it's ironic, the girl I used to like is helping me impress the girl I now like.",1 4564,"No. no, no, no, I don't want any more secrets, especially now that I know what you guys did to the drinking water in lisbon. I...",3 4565,I've never seen.,0 4566,"yeah, well... I think it'll be okay.",1 4567,"It was funny at first, but then it became a daily thing. I thought, "Okay, well, at least he's not leaving the house like that." Then, one day, he opened the door to get the paper. Day after that, went downstairs to get the mail.",2 4568,You're at least they said we were one of the best medieval music group of the academy?,1 4569,"Wait, wait. Jerry, I got to tell you the truth. Guys, I'm gonna tell him. We're also a band.",0 4570,We're going out tomorrow night.,1 4571,"Yeah, I'm freaking starving. I just finished a seven-day cleanse.",4 4572,"Come on people, get excited for us! We've got a great thing going here.",2 4573,"Hello, Ted Mosby Mosbius Designs. I learn about your design needs, present or future.",1 4574,"We aren't friends, are we? Not really. We avoid each other. We smile politely. We're two people who pretend to be friends because it would be inconvenient not to.",1 4575,"Oh, really?!",2 4576,"Yeah, sure, come on over.",1 4577,"Oh, my God. Scooby ate the whole tray. Wait. Where is he, anyway?",1 4578,"Why? Because it is important to Don, the issue is important and my career. Not like you, you incompetent. You're boring, you are bad, and I want you to work at least as hard as the elastic of your underwear.",4 4579,44.,2 4580,Our DVR won't recognize it as a television program.,3 4581,We're sure it was a w*apon?,1 4582,"Check it out. Saturday we've got apple-picking, antiquing, then a hated hay ride.",2 4583,They even found the video of me getting attacked by an owl.,4 4584,Thank you.,4 4585,Solid point. And she did have hair of gold.,1 4586,Poor guy. It must pinball.,4 4587,"Wow, Ted, you were right. You shouldn't have told that story. But you did earn yourself the right to the end of mine. We fast-forward eight years into the future.",0 4588,"I sometimes have dreams about my gay best friend. ",0 4589,You could not.,3 4590,Apparently I'm better actor than your son. Bring those from 11!,0 4591,And I'll be home trying to get over the fact that no one invited meto the big hair washing party.,0 4592,Yes!,3 4593,Are you kidding? What kind of sociopath told you like that?,2 4594,"Oh, Abby. I thought you said "Alan."",1 4595,"Friends, good news. Tiffany broke up with her boyfriend. So I'm not the hook.",1 4596,""Thank God we're alive" sex. It's even better than "I can't believe you just proposed to me" sex, which I've only had, like, four of five times. Ted, please, we are so close.",0 4597,"Attention Lily. The world badly needs the Woos. If there were not Woos, there would not Girls Gone Wild, no bachelor party girl, no pool bar in Las Vegas... all the things you hold dear would not exist.",0 4598,Shut up.,4 4599,"You kept it for quite some time, eh?",1 4600,He's not here tonight.,1 4601,"Baby, I have some exciting news.",3 4602,"Hell, yeah, I'm in! Just... I'm almost done.",0 4603,Who are you playing anyway?,3 4604,"Why, it's elementary, my dear Scherbatson.",2 4605,"Ew, Third Base is all frat guys.",4 4606,Who knows? This feud goes so far back I can't remember who fired the first sh*t.,0 4607,Who the hell is Phil?,0 4608,We can at least get closer?,2 4609,Take off your dress.,3 4610,He starts singing and objects come alive and dance with him.,1 4611,"Dude, we haen't hit legendary yet. We're only at the "le". We still got the "gen." The "da." The "ry."",0 4612,"Okay, I'm done.",1 4613,"Sorry Robin, but cate with this type suggests that all that separates you from sex, it's the clothes.",3 4614,She's unbelievable! Unbelievable!,1 4615,No. I am done with this city. It wins. I just want to move somewhere new and start over.,4 4616,"Yeah, well, you did, thanks.",0 4617,"I will not do, huh?",0 4618,What are you talking about?,0 4619,"Dear Lily and Marshall, I don't know if you know this, but I never took your names off the lease.",1 4620,"Well, no!",1 4621,Yeah.,3 4622,We'll make it work. (They kiss.),2 4623,It isn't funny if you explain the joke.,0 4624,What do you think of Robin?,0 4625,He's right.,3 4626,No. No.,1 4627,Sorry?,4 4628,What? No. It was an accident.,1 4629,That this is kinda awesome?,3 4630,He's gonna say it.,2 4631,"Come on, Barney. You have no idea of the difficulty of getting a job beneath you. I really liked your tip on the bones of dinosaurs.",4 4632,It will take over.,2 4633,"OK, fine, so a judge is making me do this but I'm still doing it, and kicking ass at it, BTW.",0 4634,"Wow, that's pretty cool. When I was a kid, I knocked down the blue whale.",0 4635,"No, you hang up! (Later) No, you hang up.",1 4636,"So, what's good?",0 4637,"Not this stuff. You know, something. Toy-like man.",0 4638,What?,4 4639,So it was indeed a black bonnet. J'l'avais said!,0 4640,"Oh, so is New York.",2 4641,Dad?,0 4642,Death?,3 4643,"Well, have fun in yoga.",1 4644,It's an evening.,0 4645,What?,2 4646,"Oh, you know, just-uh-Shopping for-uh-dip (holds dip) I love dip... I mean I don't love dip, I like dip. As a friend, you know. So-uh-hey, you-uh-reporting a news story or something? (puts dip back)",1 4647,"I'm sorry. Lily, Nick Swisher think it's cute.",3 4648,"And that made all the lies related to space. Let the world of sports. Oh wait, I forgot for a space: "I was bitten by a snake space. You have to suck all the poison around my... "",0 4649,You? Great! I'm coming. (She hangs up his phone) Ranjit?,2 4650,"Oh, Interesting. Look who just took a commanding lead. Now, with you out of the picture, I can take my sweet time.",1 4651,"(Whispering) Okay, yeah. I'm calm... I'm totally calm.",1 4652,Styrofoam trees.,1 4653,Miss.,0 4654,"Okay, you're right. He dropped it.",3 4655,"Oh, yeah, that story is legend... (phone ringing) Hold on....dary. And, um, would you happen to know what that young man's name was?",0 4656,"A four? God, you are, like, the worst judge of guys ever. Okay, if he is a four, what are you?",4 4657,"You're right. Victoria, I'm sorry I haven't told you this yet, but a while back, I was kind of into Robin. In fact, on our first date, I might have said, "I love you." Understandably, she freaked out and I left. But unfortunately, the night did not end there.",1 4658,It was smaller than Barney!,2 4659,Boogers.,1 4660,Good night.,4 4661,Oh...,2 4662,"So, what are we protesting tonight? Rising cost of jet fuel? The government's oppressive top hat and monocle tax?",1 4663,"So, what, you think fate's just going to take care of it?",3 4664,Girls talk about everything.,4 4665,Right?,1 4666,Bye-bye.,4 4667,Flugelhorn. Did you do this?,4 4668,How did you get in here anyway? We put Ted to bed around one.,3 4669,"I've always believed in fate, you know? I will go in a magazine Bagel, I would see a pretty girl in the queue reading my favorite novel, whistling the song I had all week in my head, and I would think, "Wow, this is perhaps the good. " Now I think "I just know that bitch will take the latest Bagel."",1 4670,"Hey, it's me again.",1 4671,Here's Framboise.,1 4672,I'd to 4 glasses without eating.,3 4673,Another chicken and stick to you the crown!,3 4674,"I always find it silly. What happened to "when you grow up, the relationship matures with us"?",4 4675,The routine.,4 4676,"Hey, cut her some slack! She's our friend too. She's just trying to figure out who she is.",4 4677,"What? No. I've never been happier. Anita and this seems great. I'm so glad... by the merest chance, you found yourself. It warms my f*cking heart.",4 4678,"Put on reading glasses. "Done. "Yelled the boy from the neighborhood. "With pleasure. (Ted was about to leave when Robin and Barney come but this box) What happened to you?,1 4679,"Dude, what do you do?",0 4680,This is it.,3 4681,How do you know that?,0 4682,"Cat-sitting for Lily's mom, cat-sitting for Lily's mom, it's gonna be fun, it's gonna bring us all closer together. (in the video,Marshall let the cats going out by the window)",3 4683,"And finally, all over again from scratch.",2 4684,You really should have a bar.,1 4685,"Karate Kid's a great movie. This is the story of a young karate enthusiast whose dreams led him to Karate Championship All Star Valley. Unfortunately, he loses in the final against another loser. But he learned an important lesson in accepting his defeat.",0 4686,"Hey, Robin, you should dance on the oven.",0 4687,"Barney, I've already told...",3 4688,The last three.,3 4689,"No. No, no boyfriend.",4 4690,"Come on everybody, come here. Let's make a memory.",2 4691,Can you clarify something for me about your critique? Are the colors "neat" or are they more "neato burrito?",1 4692,You got nothing on me.,3 4693,I need the Filbert contract!,3 4694,Hey guys.,1 4695,It's the same thing for the Yankees.,1 4696,"Hey you two, smoking, like us.",4 4697,Why would you tell her anything?,4 4698,That's not true.,1 4699,100! We only got to 82 on our honeymoon.,2 4700,"Oh, thank God.",1 4701,"And firing half my department freed up the money to double my own salary. And this chick from Boston was wicked hot in bed last night, and I'm getting more muscular, even though I've stopped working out, and I've got this amazing poker group.",0 4702,"No, Ted... "you're bigger".",4 4703,"How did you become this? I mean, I love my life, but... I'm not sure I like loving it. Sure, strip clubs...",0 4704,I'm going to k*ll him.,1 4705,"28. Two more 'til the big one, three-oh.",2 4706,"That's why they watch. They did a drinking game on you.Every time you say "But um", they take a sh*t.",1 4707,What changed your mind?,1 4708,Too bad you'll never find out.,0 4709,"I'm not questioning the lunch part, Ted. What database did you use?",4 4710,Wh-what?,4 4711,The walk-by with the stink eye.,2 4712,"Your show has a clown to present the weather? It's a bit nase, right?",1 4713,"OK, I get it. Don't worry, I'm not gonna ted anything up or out. I'll just give it a few more days.",1 4714,Maybe I've met her already.,0 4715,I need a lawyer. I'll pay you.,0 4716,Okay.,4 4717,"I don't know. It was around the time when everyone was going, "Wassuuuuuuup!"",2 4718,"Yeah, we're gonna make some crop circles.",0 4719,We had sushi last night.,2 4720,See? Why didn't you lead off with that?

(He imagines his daughter, pregnant et in a wedding gown)",3 4728,Did he get to keep the purple giraffe?,1 4729,Why didn't anyone come?,0 4730,You're not perfect either. Between the food and ants. But... I still want to be with you.,2 4731,Excuse me?,0 4732,"Yeah, it was surely the ruckus in the playroom of Eriksen.",0 4733,"Well, no-- now she doesn't, but how's she going to feel in a couple years, when she's supporting you on a kindergarten teacher's salary while you're off in court defending some... endangered... South American... flying beaver.",0 4734,"Look, call me crazy. I just... I don't think having a goat in the apartment is a good idea.",1 4735,"Hey, Lil. Looks like, uh, Jasmine's having a hard time getting out of those boots.",3 4736,Well one day you will marry her.,3 4737,"Just Doc. He's creepy. I mean, the guy went to medical school. What's he doing living with six coal miners?",4 4738,"So, here's the plan. Take a horse-drawn carriage through the park, and it just so happens the Philharmonic is playing an open-air...",1 4739,Boy. That's going to be really weird.,3 4740,"Oh, man, I'm so excited. I couldn't sleep last night. I bet you guys couldn't either.",0 4741,"Ted! Fine, fine. You cannot play it. Shannon! I love you! I love you so much. What about us changing the world together? Don't tell me you've forgotten. I know I haven't. Will I ever see another rainbow? Will an eagle ever soar through this tempest of woe? Baby, please Don't go There's a thief in the palace, she's stolen all my love There's a thief in the palace and she's...",0 4742,"Ted, even if she is married, it's a Canadian marriage. It's like their money or their army. Nobody takes it seriously.",2 4743,"Victoria, "How many boyfriends did you have before you started dating Ted?"",3 4744,"Terrific. Uh, look, I should run. I'm getting brain surgery from some guy who's seen a couple episodes of E.R. I can't believe this. We've been up here for the past hour making complete asses of ourselves.",1 4745,They broke up over the summer. Lily totally ran off to San Francisco and these two just had sex in the closet. What? We're under oath.,0 4746,Ee-(Kisses Marshal) Did Marshall give me the signal?,0 4747,"Okay. What is it? And don't give me, "It's beautiful." Don't give me, "It's magnificent" What is it about this place that makes you so passionate to save it?",1 4748,"There's something here, look, unless I'm crazy.",1 4749,"The last 3 kilos: how the push to lose. ",1 4750,"Barney, you have more 18 years. If you did the whole list, you would die. It was not a challenge.",1 4751,D'oh! Told you. The Mermaid Theory. It's a thing. You owe me 500 bucks.,0 4752,"Hey, Marsh, you know that's another mirror, right?",1 4753,"Hi. I'm Barney. Great to meet you. Hey, you want to see a magic trick?",0 4754,That is the greatest story ever!,3 4755,Not even at all.,0 4756,Thank you.,2 4757,I'm not The Blitz!,1 4758,Robin?,1 4759,You know Neil Young is my favorite musician.,4 4760,I feel so young again except for the chest pains.,3 4761,It's a noble creature.,0 4762,"Fine, fine, fine. I have a phone call to make.",0 4763,"Where, I don't, I don't see...",3 4764,Why would you tell me that?,3 4765,"Oh, baby.",3 4766,Really? And the Eriksen family dinner every Sunday?,2 4767,Wait a minute. Y-You don't mean...,1 4768,"Why take it away to bring him back in New Jersey, anyway?",4 4769,"Excuse me. Did you guys change cooks or something? Because my husband was here 5 years ago, he's sure he had a different burger. Robin is trying to take the plate.",2 4770,"Yeah, I know, Barney, you showed me. And that still doesn't count as a Christmas present. So go over there and apologize.",2 4771,"Look, I understand why you have not told him? You really think she would be jealous too.",1 4772,Guys. It's looking like this isn't gonna happen.,3 4773,"Look, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. But let's be honest. You've been super sensitive lately.",2 4774,"(Decides he's going to leave) Well, this is my stop.",1 4775,"I'll give you 50. There's sex reconciliation... breaking sex, and sex "a friend told you about a new position."",2 4776,Music. Imagine a patriotic music.,0 4777,I'm not wearing a suit.,1 4778,"Super, meals included, right?",3 4779,"Feliz cumpleanos, baby. The theme of this breakfast in bed is... "Spanish Interlude." (A musician enters the room and opens the curtain Marshall) How have we landed on the lyric rolling hills of northern Spain? Baby, it will be huge tonight. We five, dinner well dressed, and Ted brings your cognac cheesecake Pumpkin at Edgar. I'll go shopping super secret birthday. And I took him because I do not like the way he looks at you.",3 4780,"I tried the he will not come, and it worked. Monstrous.You should have seen this girl.",0 4781,"Thank you, Jim. I would never have done it without the help of my friends.",0 4782,You come here and you watch your daughter go without care. And now you destroy the Thanksgiving dinner! Lily is on it since this morning!,3 4783,"I knew it. Ted, left or right?",2 4784,"So, where did we land on the whole 'plus one' thing?",1 4785,Incredible lover.,4 4786,And the market is really hot right now.,3 4787,"ok, the trick underwear was your choice. And I would not keep that going.",4 4788,"Milk? Oh, you're taking it easy. Crazy night?",0 4789,"You know what, dude? Forget about Robin, okay? You're hanging with us tonight. I've got an awome party lined up.",3 4790,"I know, but the song is rather catchy.",2 4791,What is your problem?,2 4792,"No, Stella, it should help. Pay for dinner. Do not worry.Taking Charge.",1 4793,It's not a stormtr... We're going from here?,0 4794,And Marshall's the winner.,0 4795,There's a girl in there.,2 4796,"Why not St. Cloud? I mean, I loved growing up St. Cloud. St. Cloud is a great place to have a childhood.",3 4797,"I do not care when you take out. But if it is made of cheese as a good ziti, do soak.",2 4798,"Well, it was either that, or a musk ox turd, and I figured,what the hell would a musk ox be doing in here?",4 4799,Your room?,0 4800,We want to encourage you.,2 4801,What?,4 4802,thank you.,3 4803,"Actually, no!",3 4804,"If you tell them, they are invited in at the most private and intimate of our lives.",2 4805,"Oh, no! The slap-petizers.",3 4806,"Hey, guys, sorry, uh... I left my charger back in New York, so my phone's out of juice. Does anyone have...?",3 4807,"Love you too, buddy.",3 4808,"Hey, baby.",2 4809,"God. The doorknob's broken off. We're locked in here. Did, did you do this?",4 4810,Tell me which of you is going to slap me!,0 4811,"Yeah, about that... So Arthur's busy giving me the full screaming treatment... Face turning red, vein in his forehead about to burst, spittle flying like shrapnel. Everyone you work with walking by your office, peering in. And suddenly, I just felt all of it.",3 4812,"And I just want to make sure you're okay with this. (Both laugh) Okay, how do we do this?",4 4813,"Yeah, I do. I make a ton of money. How much do you make, J.J.?",0 4814,So I'm not going to jeopardize my promotion by saying "Booger" for fifty bucks.,4 4815,Amazing first date with Zoey! We met at the intersection... (The rest is unintelligible),1 4816,"Dude, what's Krav Maga?",3 4817,I love to snack.,3 4818,"If Robin thinks for one second that Barney wants to marry her, she Petera a lead and they will break.",1 4819,"I read that Kim Jong, he says it's his second favorite movie. Just after he made a film where the horse in slow motion.",4 4820,Total booty-call.,0 4821,Why? J.J. started it. What does J.J. even stand for anyway? J... Jerky... Jerkface?,0 4822,Thanks again for letting me have the U2 box set.,2 4823,You could get tons of cool stuff on the sell and they all use for great cause.,3 4824,"It's hopeless, isn't it?",0 4825,Why do you have told me? Schlegel's? Thank you! I'll have to find another New York place that serves bagels.,1 4826,"*Honey, if I get restless*",3 4827,You guys stole my blackboard!,2 4828,"Oh, wow, Lily, this is... Oh, this is all of it.",1 4829,It's all the information your spouse might need all in one convenient location.,3 4830,Oh. Okay. That's not weird. She's bringing a date. I'm glad she's moving on.,1 4831,I look at the future... of our two companies and it seems very... naked. Will you excuse me one second?,3 4832,"Yeah, I thought so... so I got to do something on this list I will feel more so old so I... I came here to dunk.",3 4833,"I was there. Damn, this guy could play.",3 4834,Why do you always have to bring that up?,4 4835,"November 14, 1998. The night train to Monte Carlo. I was in the car pool arnaquant Algerians few thousand dinars, while thou séduisais my bride! Who is blind and took you for me.",1 4836,"Claudia, I'm pretty sure I checked...",1 4837,(To Lily) will you marry me?,3 4838,"Hi, baby. Good workout.",2 4839,I quit!,3 4840,What are you doing here?,3 4841,"Okay, I did not know. Mea culpa. So, from now, more lies. I never lie to you. I'm serious. Ask me anything.",0 4842,Marshall got it in college. He used it as a nightstand for years.,2 4843,"Oh, cute dog!",4 4844,"Prem's, prem's prem's.",0 4845,"Yeah, it's called "Lily-and-Marshall-sell- their-stuff-dot-com."",3 4846,Bye Ted.,4 4847,"Oh, there was a snake in the swamp?",3 4848,"If I recall, they didn't dump us until you brought up thatVermont trip. It was way too early. First, a boat ride around the city, then a trip toVermont. It's a rookie mistake, and you're better than that.",3 4849,I'm not selling that. I've already made the Website.,3 4850,"Well, it's not like a candy store. It's a lawless, post-apocalyptic wasteland. I may be your best friend...",0 4851,"No, actually it was for his good. It protects it from itself. He really likes this girl. He had that look.",3 4852,Why? Was he being mean?,4 4853,"Hey, baby, how'd it go?",2 4854,Hmm?,4 4855,"Remember how I said I was gonna give that big speech that Lily told me to give, be firm but respectful? Well, it didn't totally go that way.",3 4856,"What? We brought you a surprise party, last year.Thou shalt have no surprises on two holidays. The fact that the world has come to the first was surprising. Not? Two surprises on Christmas! It is very strong! It is very strong! Great!(Marshall goes on the roof) Super... It still will not mount.",3 4857,"Mrs Theatre has won my heart once and has never left me. Every year at Christmas, I created a piece for parents with all the kids.",1 4858,I did not Ted...,3 4859,He's not a billionaire. He's a hundred millionaire. Why do people always round up?,4 4860,"And not to mention the girls with names ending in I instead of a Y. These girls are like rides. You make the long tail, but once inside, you hold on, hoping not to lose your keys.",0 4861,This dish is my manhood! And I want to leave my manhood deep in the dirty sink full of ketchup and pasta...,3 4862,"Guys, let me assure you that if you let me... the window will reopen in about 10 minutes.",0 4863,"Uncle Ted is here! How you will handle the story of Santa Claus? You should be honest. Damn, I will disguise myself.",1 4864,I had a feeling I'd find you here.,4 4865,So what does this mean for you? Is she ever wanna want to get intimate?,2 4866,She seemed happy after the break.,1 4867,"No. It's a phenomenon where, when you're around people from your past, you start behaving like them.",3 4868,"No nightcap! (The phone rings) Puzzles, Barney here.",0 4869,"Easy, that's the plan: A, layer with Jenkins. Two, I sleep with Jenkins first. Three, the second rule is the first I'm going to rule 2.",0 4870,"I'm in the limo, right outside of Ted's office.",0 4871,It was a lunch and not eat wheat. It was nice to be back.We even laughed at the idiots we were.,1 4872,"And you? Hey, man! You got anything in the leg?",3 4873,Interested.,1 4874,I understand. You're right. We miss you much.,2 4875,Not making me feel better.,2 4876,Happy Halloween.,2 4877,I wanted to surprise you.,2 4878,"Barney, what are you doing here?",4 4879,Friends.,4 4880,It's a good idea.,2 4881,Well guess what? She cried! You just didn't have the sack to face those tears.,2 4882,Hey. Did the cold wake you?,0 4883,I know. My whole life is here.,4 4884,I can not believe that thou hast brought him bad luck.,1 4885,The timing. But the timing is a bitch.,4 4886,You really do speak of your pants?,4 4887,That's how it was in the movie...,1 4888,"(On Phone) We're on a Tarmac in Philadelphia, crazy adventure.",1 4889,We're coming with you.,2 4890,"You lucked out with my mom last night, huh? What a relief, right?",1 4891,"Awesome. Say that is a tailor and you have found a nice suit. A nice suit Canada. Superb chest. You try it, but it does not suit you perfectly. So you return it. Then I try it. I'm not too keen... a suit that you have caught the eye, but at the same time, I love this costume.",0 4892,Well that's doesn't seem like that long ago.,4 4893,"Uh... since about (points to glass) here. Lily recognized me from the news and-(Lily and Marshall kiss) Hello, Sailor!",4 4894,What?,2 4895,"I'm sorry, it's just... God, I... I'm crazy about this girl. It feels like maybe... I don't want to say it.",1 4896,"Absolutely not. It would be stupid. Stinson, Barney Stinson singing this song, it would be really stupid. One of the fans who think this guy is awesome. Perfect and available.Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great... Great, great. Barney Stinson, committed. This jewel has earned me 11 jobs.",0 4897,Not Okay. Okay is lame.,1 4898,"Tell him, you're his best friend.",3 4899,Tell us about it!,2 4900,"Was that necessary? He is not making smart decisions. Barney: Exactly. It's like, what's he gonna do next. I don't know, but I want to find out.",2 4901,"Guys, guys, guys, Robin doesn't like malls. If she doesn't want to tell us why, she doesn't have to. I think we should all just respect her privacy.",1 4902,Just a second.,4 4903,I can not find my file.,3 4904,"Uh, Robin, I-I gotta go. Just knock, okay?",2 4905,It's over.,0 4906,Hakuna Matata!,2 4907,"I know! I just got in the zone and... Not the point of the story. And then I started thinking about Victoria and how she followed her dream to Germany, and I found that art fellowship.",2 4908,Buttercup Bakery. This is it.,2 4909,"Yeah, he just wants to show you his own VIP if you know what I mean...",0 4910,"Marshall is always at work, and I'm afraid to hit all the work if we have one now.",2 4911,"So, how long has this been going on?",2 4912,Why?,1 4913,"Yeah, to Brooklyn.",2 4914,"Plus Marshall's found the love of his life. Even if I was ready, which I'm not, but if I was it's like, "Okay, I'm ready! Where is she?" (Spots Robin)",1 4915,(Opens ring) Will you marry me.,3 4916,"Is it in the room with us right now, Ted?",0 4917,"It looks like she has read this book, Of course you're alone, look at you, poor trail. What? It was this book that helps girls find a husband. It is that of Robin. I just laminated. Okay! Barney, when you were with this girl, she subtly used the word "sex"?",1 4918,Fine. I'll have a three-way with hot and kind of hot while Giggles works the camera. I ride!,0 4919,Why it looks silly? She had a stroke?,3 4920,"guys, we like you a lot...",3 4921,Isn't she awesome?,0 4922,"Think about it, this is perfect. A: it will make Robin insanely jealous... B: you get to have sex with her... and C: maybe by getting to know Mary, you'll come to see that courtesans are people, too. And D: "B" all night long.",0 4923,You know what's on her shelf? That self-help book 'The Power of Me'.,1 4924,"Just more courageous. We all looked for the 5 lookalikes.But eventually, over time, we all become our own doubles.These completely different people who look exactly like us. The "Robin, there was 5 years"? This girl was pretty cool. Robin lookalike? She's great. (They are close) We drank a lot.",1 4925,"Well, it's not exactly the clientele I had in mind, but... thank you for believing in me.",2 4926,"No, it's you.",0 4927,Honestly? Since my first day at GNB.,3 4928,Marshall!,2 4929,We're having an auction to rise money for the children's hospital of Los Angeles,2 4930,"And we don't care about some stupid, sexist, corporate holiday.",4 4931,I think there's still one left.,2 4932,"Actually, it was a good day.",4 4933,T-Mose was great. I think of the show.,1 4934,Don't wait up.,0 4935,Okay.,4 4936,"How cute, Marshall. But I think mom knows when she was a hit. I mean, he could not help but look at me.",4 4937,But the one that's me.,2 4938,This is mine.,0 4939,... as long as she is equally hot.,0 4940,I'm sorry. You did too good of a job writing this thing. It's-it's iron-clad.,3 4941,Okay is not Lame. Lame is a gay bar.,4 4942,I know. She looks good?,1 4943,You... Been to Ted?,0 4944,"Hey, thanks for picking me up.",1 4945,Are you blind? I'm making out with a 12. I am winning.,1 4946,"Hey, guys. Miss me? I missed you, too. Hi, Ted, it's Robin. Um, listen, I know it's late, but do you want to come over? Ted?",4 4947,"Make it like a dollar or something, you know. Who cares? No big deal.",3 4948,You wanna come to my house and watch the collection of snowballs?,0 4949,"Mm-hmm. Once a mermaid gets pregnant, she becomes a manatee again. Never thought I'd say that sentence.",3 4950,"Oh, my God, you've really pushed to the limit.",3 4951,"What are you guys doing here? I've got, I've got...",1 4952,"Well, how do you afford all of these expensive clothes?",4 4953,What do you think of this tie?,0 4954,There is an off switch... and it's off.,1 4955,Absolutely.,1 4956,Nope.,1 4957,"I don't care what either of you say, I am going to the Popover Pantry with Brad. We're here. We're hungry. Get used to it, brunch.",3 4958,Then why are you still in my office?,4 4959,"And when Whitney, your maid of honor, had died in your sight.",3 4960,I can't believe how Mr. Druthers treats people. And that building? Talk about overcompensating.,2 4961,Ted Scherbatsky. I would take his name. I do not care.,1 4962,"Gentlemen, I am a professor at this university and you are minor, so it is my duty to confiscate it, and that, and... the cooler?You know what, Boomer? You can keep it.",1 4963,"Fine, I don't need friends. I got you guys. You guys are my friends, my cold refreshing friends. I'm talking to beer.",1 4964,"Ladies, couldn't find your coats but I did find tequila.",1 4965,"I'm sorry, I gotta let you go. It's just too many good wingmen out there. Ted are you crying?",0 4966,You made me break with Karen? Are you sick? What right did you do that?,1 4967,Welcome.,2 4968,"Healthy communication? That's the worst idea ever. Look, you held off their first advance. That's good. Now it's time to counter-strike.",0 4969,We're snowed in. Lily got the last flight.,1 4970,... last cigarette... my life.,3 4971,"Never take questions on the first day. It shows weakness. Also, don't look right here (showing girl's boobs). Okay, good luck. Byesies.",0 4972,"No, 'on', it is the people of the great state of Ohio. When life is hard, we take the pain and bury us. And if the pain goes, is buried pain over another. Why cope when you can avoid?All I have to do is to never see her again, and I will have a long happy life. So who wants to eat?",1 4973,Only because your hand was still around my waist.,4 4974,What does that mean?,1 4975,what?,0 4976,Lenny Kravitz.,1 4977,Are you positive?,1 4978,What?,0 4979,Lily left the lid off... (Ted put dark sunglasses) and marshall blew heads.,1 4980,"Hey, Lily!",4 4981,Lily.,3 4982,Hi.,4 4983,"Oh! Wow. Thanks, Lily. You saved me. You saved us. Look, I know you didn't mean whatever it was you said that made me so mad.",0 4984,The highest good of all those with whom you're never out! Ever!,0 4985,Plugging in.,1 4986,"So, do you like Mike?",4 4987,"Well, Robin. Nobody likes reading a magazine at work. You leave your office holding a magazine...",3 4988,"Of course she is upset. Look at you, poor trail.",2 4989,"Okay,",2 4990,"Thank you. There was no food in the fridge, so I picked up... (Barney puts the breakfast in the trash) What are you doing?",2 4991,"List of lifelong dreams, you're not half as long. Crap. I'm missing one of the screws for this table",3 4992,"Oh, yeah. I'll give her a call, see if she wants to hang out.",2 4993,"I... can ex... How do you know about the north thing? Um, um... And what are you doing with those lemons?",3 4994,"No, it's protective armor.",0 4995,I like it.,0 4996,There's no more milk.,4 4997,"No, sweetie, just-just put all that out of your mind and relax. Look, I got you a six-pack of tall boys from the deli.",2 4998,Give it.,3 4999,You guys want to go gamble?,1 5000,I wear them right now and they are very sexy.,1 5001,"Not if I knock down her favorite building, she isn't. Barney, I'm sorry.",1 5002,"What if I reimburse you for the boots, full retail?",1 5003,"Green door, red neon sign that says "Burger?"",4 5004,I'm pregnant.,2 5005,Doesn't hold a candle to your Crocodile Dundee thing.,4 5006,Yeah. It's called Tail-Dalle.,2 5007,"Yeah. What is my third favorite word that begins with b-o-n? (Imitates buzzer) Bonus. As in, my end-of-the-year bonus check.",0 5008,"Yes, I avoid it. What is the problem? It goes like this.",1 5009,You know what? I hate you!,3 5010,"You can't just call things, barney.",4 5011,"Whatever, red cowboy boots.",4 5012,"Well, it looks like Jessica wins in the first four categories.",2 5013,You did what?,4 5014,"God? It's me, Barney. Are you okay? I know we will not speak often, a bunch of girls said your name on my account. Great. But, God... If you could get out of there, I swear I'll never, never... never, never, never... (His phone rings and people have turned to him) Wait, man. Barney to the device.Really?",0 5015,So we're making a pie for Bob.,1 5016,"look, I know it sounds insincere when people say that but... we could.",4 5017,Told him what?,1 5018,"Ted, let me be clear. That girl is poison and you have to forget your life forever.",0 5019,Why?,4 5020,Wieners and gonads.,1 5021,"Okay, just shut it down. Okay, just ignore your feelings. If-If she asks you for ketchup, tell her to get it her own damn self. Look, I like Zoey. Without her, my dinner party wouldn't have been such a success. So those feelings of yours... shut 'em down.",4 5022,That is a huge violation of my privacy! Go on.,0 5023,"Ted, Ted, Ted. Right here! This is happening. Now you can either put your bags on the carousel now, or you can listen to me give you a really long speech convincing you to put the bags on the carousel. Your move. (Silence) Ted, since the dawn of time mankind has struggled... (Ted puts bags on carousel)",0 5024,Wow.,1 5025,I'm not going back either. I'm taking the rest of my bonus to God's strip club.,0 5026,"Oh, sure, it's good. It's solid. But a 9.6?",1 5027,Stop!,1 5028,"Okay, if you don't, I will.",4 5029,"When listening to this joke of peanut butter and jam, I was completely disgusted. But this morning in the shower, I thought about it and it made me laugh. Peanut butter. So I think I could win. According to Marshall.",2 5030,"This is a lucky girl, Barney was my best sh*t.",4 5031,"Actually, yeah. Oh, he is such a cool guy. He was here earlier.",4 5032,Like the time we celebrated the success of Marshall to the bar.,2 5033,"No, we hate Zoey! I'm so furious at you all right now, but it's Thanksgiving, and I have a Turturkeykey to make. And not that I'm The Blitz, but could everyone please come with me into the kitchen? (all murmuring) Okay, I'm, uh, just gonna preheat the oven.",1 5034,We were bros! These swords represent our bro-hood. And you took 'em down to make room for your fiance's stupid painting?,1 5035,And now she's totally winning Celebrity Rehab.,4 5036,I don't know. This will be your second date.,4 5037,Tramp stamp?,1 5038,Not me.,4 5039,It's hidden.,2 5040,You got me. I was just nervous. I got mugged by a monkey.,3 5041,Wow. Both sides. You wrote on both sides of a thank you note to my third cousin for a blender that you haven't even taken out of the box.,3 5042,Bring it.,1 5043,"You crazy not me, Marshall. Let's be honest. The group is finite. Ted is gone, like Robin. That separates us as well.",0 5044,"You're kidding me. Seriously, aren't you sick of these things?",2 5045,I got this.,4 5046,With quill?,0 5047,"Hold on, I've got to get another book.",1 5048,"Oh, no. I got called back in to work. Can you keep an eye on him until I get back? He's new to the city, and he doesn't really know anyone.",4 5049,You too.,3 5050,"(Phone) Hey loser, how's not playing laser tag? Because playing laser tag is awesome! Oh, I k*ll you Connor; don't make me get your mom!",0 5051,I'm ready to be proven wrong.,1 5052,"Barney, this is about the building.",1 5053,Yes!,2 5054,What?,4 5055,Maybe theres...,0 5056,No. She will be angry and you will play.,1 5057,You could not be more evil.,2 5058,There it is... she's a mom. It's just not gonna happen.,1 5059,"... two, one, chug!",3 5060,YAYYYYY.,4 5061,"Of course, it is. What do you think "identical" means? "Ident-" - same. "-ical" - person. Same person. Hey, we could double date.",0 5062,And the movie was awesome.,3 5063,What?,0 5064,"I've never touched. I can pee in a jar if you like, Jim Nantz.",0 5065,I know you've all been excited to meet...,1 5066,That's awesome.,4 5067,What? No. Shut up. I hate him.,4 5068,"Sure. You spoke of the beds. No, I'm not.",3 5069,I have a technical question. Is it easier to dance when you do not have external genitalia?,1 5070,It's locked?,4 5071,"Everyone's got an underpants radius. For most of us, it's the distance from the bedroom to the bathroom, but as your self-esteem gets smaller, your underpants radius gets bigger.",1 5072,I've decided to seduce Wendy the waitress.,0 5073,Did you try his cell phone?,3 5074,Great! Give her milk!,1 5075,I'm thinking. Do I want to date a girl that Barney was typed?Help me for harmonies. Of course.,1 5076,This is a great idea. This is gonna work. Let's go. (To a woman) Excuse me. Are you a ship captain?,2 5077,I really want to slap!,1 5078,That's not possible.,3 5079,"Look, uh, Doug. There's no good way to say this.",4 5080,"Gay pirate, where are you getting that from?",3 5081,I'm just happy Robin's happy.,1 5082,"Oh. Oh, right.",0 5083,Wow! Wow! That's... I'm-I'm really happy for you.,1 5084,Yeah! She had just as much sex with Barney as Barney had with her.,2 5085,"Fantastic, I was fed up that you piquiez me my smokes constantly.",4 5086,"What, in fate?",1 5087,I'm a parrot.,2 5088,"Ted, do you remember in college when Lily did that summer art program in Paris?",3 5089,It's always food.,3 5090,"Hey, Barney, can I talk to you?",4 5091,"A single interview proper, it would be nice for a change.",4 5092,Your English phone booth arrived.,3 5093,"My career. This is my new priority. From now on, more a date. The job.",4 5094,Of course you should. And now you're gonna do it for free.,1 5095,Attorney-client privilege.I can't talk about it.,3 5096,What design?,2 5097,"Oh, my God, Robin, are you going to kick this girl's ass?",2 5098,Actually.,1 5099,"Well, after the newscast, I was so excited, I decided to surprise Ted by going to the reception.",4 5100,"I think that's great, Ted. You can do whatever you set your mind to. In fact, you've inspired me. I'm going to stop biting my nails.",2 5101,"Marshall, I don't like this.",2 5102,She made the cake.,1 5103,The Prison?,0 5104,What is this test?,1 5105,Damn.,2 5106,"Oh, come on, if we jump in a cab, we'll be there in 15 minutes.",4 5107,I call that I can call things!,0 5108,You've invited?!,2 5109,"I will not give up, but yes. For, thanks to the book of Ted...",0 5110,What?!,1 5111,There are currently no positions available.,0 5112,Enjoying your vacation so far?,1 5113,Give a hand to the stormtrooper.,2 5114,"Oh, sorry Ted.",2 5115,"Ted, you always do that. You bring a girl knows that not all our evenings with us.",2 5116,"Actually, I was going to show you my breasts, but... sure, we can do hair.",4 5117,I do wish you were a dude.,4 5118,I've done all three of those things with Robin. Is she my girlfriend?,0 5119,Three months! Three months?,2 5120,"We'll end up out of a job, all thanks to some stupid, only sort of awesome lion head.",0 5121,I Can Vote? Street bitch! Street bitch!,0 5122,Seven years!,0 5123,What?,1 5124,We saw the third doppelganger!,0 5125,The No-Fathers Day is a success! Laraby Finklestein and help me celebrate. Matt. Mugs "Best Non-Father of the world." There... T-shirts "Who is your daddy? "Available on fetedesnonperes.com. Looking greeting cards.,0 5126,And Marshall never would've listened to The Indigo Girls if it weren't for Lily.,1 5127,"I'll stop. These are the costumes. Stops just bullshit.Two, three, four! Girls come and depart, but the clothes remain constant! Each buddy dépote and rambling, it is no substitute!Sorry, my costumes, I give you my life. My Sunday clothes are my best friends! The casual clothes go in the basket because nothing goes better with the undisputed often praised, claiming to fame... a true... Expect more... Costume...",0 5128,What are you talking?,2 5129,"In the crapper, the plan. I wanted to be a famous artist.Marshall wanted to be environmental lawyer. Robin wanted to be a TV reporter.",2 5130,"Look, I'm having fun here, so I'll pass Robots vs. Wrestlers.",1 5131,"Yeah, I-I just thought it might upset you.",4 5132,"Good question, there are four reasons for a "meal ex '.1: They want to get back together.",0 5133,"Not your TV, the decor of my show. If my best friends do not watch, will watch it...",4 5134,THAT PLACE MAKES GREAT SALADS!,0 5135,You can do it.,4 5136,"You know, I guess this place isn't so bad.",1 5137,Did you put on pants today?,2 5138,What? No!,3 5139,No! Barney's been "putting the moves" on Ted.,3 5140,"I beg your pardon, sir, But I ordered a sandwich and gravy fries, And as the customer, I'm always right, so...",3 5141,"(yells) I think I do! I really think I do! So now, I'm yelling!",1 5142,I would never...,3 5143,Then you're fired.,1 5144,Yes.,4 5145,I'll tell you why my opponent says it all. Three words: fear of... babies.,1 5146,"Okay, I love these shoes, but the pain-to-hotness ratio is pretty steep. Can we swing by the apartment, so I can change?",2 5147,Barney. This is not a one-night stand. We're dating. Come back to bed.,4 5148,"Oh, um, Marshall wanted to know where you guys got that cake.",1 5149,Two out of three?,1 5150,"So, you stop that, huh?",4 5151,"At noon, when you go to any walk of reflection, that leaves us time to spend together.",4 5152,"Penelope, I really need to make it rain this weekend.",1 5153,I guess so. I guess so.,1 5154,Best friend alert!,2 5155,"Really? Well, 'cause she gave me a videotape to give...",2 5156,"Yes, even more impressive now, right?",3 5157,Marshall?,1 5158,She should be here any second.,1 5159,"Ted, have you ignored all my teachings? Ted: For the most part, yeah.",0 5160,What? No. Yes!,0 5161,"My name is Anuhea. It means cool and fragrant,much like any of our 12 specialty drinks.",2 5162,Ted Mosby?,1 5163,Something to three.,1 5164,"Come on, dude, you should be thanking me.",0 5165,"Oh, sh**t, dropped my keys.",4 5166,We were just upstairs watching TV.,2 5167,Excuse me?,2 5168,"Lily always made the pancakes. God, I loved her pancakes. So soft. So warmed. So perfectly shaped.",3 5169,You were right. I don't know how to be a girlfriend. I took the nicest guy in the world and I made him a cheater.,4 5170,"Bring 'em in, boys! Merry Christmas.",0 5171,"Once launched the website, printed brochures, and the choice of games at the business seminar, I will call.",1 5172,Why? Just why?,1 5173,"Well, not anymore, Blitz.",0 5174,"Yes, I made my decision. I appreciate the offer, but I can not accept it. Thank you.",4 5175,Wh-- Did we take an oath? Do you even know what an oath is?,1 5176,"No, that was awesome. I feel bad because the Bro Code clearly states "No sex with your bro's ex." But if you, my lawyer,can find a loophole somewhere, then that bad feeling will go bye-bye.",0 5177,That's not what I'm hey-ing you about.,1 5178,You go first.,4 5179,"You know what? Just to make sure, I'm gonna pee on this again.",2 5180,That long lingering handshake-you should've kissed her!,2 5181,"I'll explain later. Hey, we're headed down to MacLaren's.",3 5182,What do you think of the good old "Baby Cadum"?,1 5183,"(to Claudia on phone) Uh-huh, uh-huh.",2 5184,"Well, you really got to me the other night. I want to get involved with "Save The Arcadian."",1 5185,Completely.,0 5186,What the hell happened to my jacket? Marshall: Whoa.,1 5187,We might be starting a family soon.,3 5188,Lily!,3 5189,The whole thing was a sign. Let us end this ancient ritual. I will not get it.,3 5190,"Carl, did you know the word karaoke is Japanese for empty orchestra? Isn't that hauntingly beautiful? Are you a vampire? Carl: I am cutting you off. Go home and get some sleep, Ted.",1 5191,"OK. Barney, I'm about to go for the belt.",1 5192,How do you go?,2 5193,Forget it.,2 5194,"Ooh, ooh, I got one. You think John Kennedy and Jack Kennedy are the same person. (laughs) Right? What?",4 5195,"Ted, how do I explain this to you? Last night I had the best cake of my life. You think I'm gonna let that cake out of my life? Hell, no. I'm gonna find out what bakery made that cake and then I'm gonna get some more cake.",3 5196,It looks like we had our man. I not think there need to see...,0 5197,"Well, you should talk. You know, you're the one who's freaking out because you have one mediocre review and, like, 50 great ones.",3 5198,Good boy.,2 5199,"(Subtitle) So, how do you know Robin?",1 5200,"Lily,listen, we really need the money. I have some leads on a job, but until then, I just... I don't know what else we can do.",3 5201,"Yeah, hate olives.",3 5202,"Things with Zoey are moving really fast, and the divorce just makes everything more complicated. I just, I needed to take a step back.",1 5203,"Good job, guys. At least, there are no points, eh? No idea of the score. It could be 53-0. It could be something else.It's 53-0.",3 5204,"Lily, what are you doing here?",0 5205,"Happy Thanksgiving, guys.",1 5206,It was pretty awesome. You should try it. I still have a few.,3 5207,Good manners are what separate us from those "elbows on the table" Wisconsinites.,3 5208,"When it's stomach stuff, you just say "under the weather" or people start picturing you doing unspeakable things.",2 5209,"That's insane. I mean, just because you know Max has a small penis...",2 5210,I will repeat once. This is a bad idea.,1 5211,"Oh, it's Robin. Good luck.",2 5212,Future Ted and Future Marshall.,1 5213,I really am.,0 5214,Hey!,2 5215,"Robin, who'd you sleep with?",2 5216,But you got in. Slow and steady won the race.,1 5217,Nuh-uh.,0 5218,Oh. (Marshall puts index finger on his nose),3 5219,"Well, all skyscrapers kind of look like a...",3 5220,That's because he met her in high school. This is his first girlfriend.,2 5221,"I thought about that. And I gotta say, Ted has upheld this thing time and time again. For example, article 87: "A bro shall at all times say yes."",3 5222,How is that a disaster?,4 5223,Thank you.,1 5224,"So, I got up this morning, its freezing. So I walked over there. And I don't know why I am still talking. Because clearly we are all asking the same question. What in God's creation is going on with Robin's breasts.",1 5225,You...,0 5226,"Yeah. I am. Let's just not tell anyone about this, okay?",4 5227,My on-base percentage was off the charts!,1 5228,I'm so sorry that we left you.,3 5229,Probably not the same guy.,0 5230,I gotta run.,1 5231,Fine.,1 5232,"Fine, I'll go.",0 5233,"Dude, why are you so upset that Ted does not sleep with the people he hires?",3 5234,Do not worry. It also has a good way to avoid arguments.,0 5235,Just a minute.,2 5236,"Hey baby, what do you do at home?",2 5237,I want one of those burgers right now! Do you think they're still open?,1 5238,How can he dance here? He should be trying to smash the car with a club of Stella.,3 5239,"Yes, Ted. Come on, buddy!",3 5240,I don't know! I just have this feeling. She's the future Mrs. Ted Mosby.,1 5241,"You know what you are? You're a snob of love. There's lots of ways to live a relationship, you would know if you left your little club "Snob love."",4 5242,What? Oh. I have never seen you guys looking so at peace. To Lily and Marshall.,4 5243,"Hey, uh, what time are you guys going to robin's?",1 5244,"So you got to admit, The 88 are rocking our song.",3 5245,You think I'm trying to steal your bar? Host.,4 5246,"Oh, wow. Oh, yay. Wow, thank you. One, two, three, four.",1 5247,This whole Arcadian thing is classic Mosby. Changing your personality to fit some girl.,0 5248,"Wait up, I'll leave with you guys. "Ted Mosby, architect". Trust me.",0 5249,We like this bar.,1 5250,Without a breath? That's gotta be some kind of record.,1 5251,"And if we don't get it, we could go under.",1 5252,"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but seriously there's nothing going on with me and Robin.",1 5253,"Lily Aldrin, little secretive. For years, I say that our gang needs a Woo, and thou hast hid me in a whole herd.",0 5254,We just go across the hall.,3 5255,There was no Victoria at the wedding.,1 5256,Sorry! All is well! Sorry.,3 5257,"It's embarrassing, but I... I came home one evening with a celebrity.",4 5258,"You know, when you think about that, that phrase is really creepy.",2 5259,What? The best part's the last 20 minutes.,1 5260,Hang up now! Hang up now! Hang up now! Hang up!,1 5261,"Hey, just out of curiosity. If a guy told you he was an architect, what would you think of that?",1 5262,"And I smell incredible. Smell me. Just, seriously, smell me.",0 5263,"Well, you did the right thing, baby.",3 5264,"No, wait, uh... Maybe you should just knock.",2 5265,I'm making a scrapbook.,2 5266,I'm lost.,4 5267,"Three years ago, Shelly started working at my school.When I saw her, I said, "It's perfect for Ted."",2 5268,Bourre.,4 5269,And as we can count on Lily to sneak.,0 5270,"Uh, really? Name one wrong thing.",1 5271,I see what you do.,3 5272,We come back.,4 5273,But don't you think the universe has more important things to worry about than my dating life?,1 5274,"The pleasure is mine. And you know, you might find it interesting.Some of these guys represent the history of New York.",1 5275,"Ah, no I think we're going to wait on the baby thing. I mean I love babies. Babies rule. Pudgy arms and stuff, but they make you old. Kind of like this anchor weighing you down to one spot...forever.",3 5276,"Sonny, where's Cher?",1 5277,Really.,0 5278,"This is awesome... You're designing our new headquarters. Now, there will be voices that tell you a hockey rink on the roof is unfeasible. You've got to shut those voices out.",3 5279,"I will, some other time.",3 5280,It's Robin.,1 5281,Where did you get that hat?,2 5282,He stops.,1 5283,"But it doesn't help it that when Lily gets going; she sounds like a velociraptor from Jurassic Park. But then I realized a man can do a lot of living in three hours. So, I'm out experiencing this beautiful, crazy dance called life. Ah, my last meal. MacClaren's famous jalapeno poppers. My doctor says I need to eat healthier, so I figured the round-trip flight these babies are about to take will land them permanently on the no-fry list. Good-bye, my friend. It's been a hell of a ride. I have to...",3 5284,But Barney hasn't done...,1 5285,thank you God.,0 5286,Fake baby!,1 5287,"Seriously, it's OK. This is so Trudy. She's really shy, I think.",1 5288,We're not sneaking in to a high school prom.,3 5289,"Oh. Yeah, I don't want to see The Captain. I mean this in a super manly way. That guy scares the panties off me.",1 5290,"You do realize they were lying, right?",1 5291,"Well, I guess I'm just better friends with her than you are.",0 5292,"Well, it could have been worse. It could have fallen in your lap.",4 5293,"Oh, I don't know. Probably hanging out with Mike, this guy I've been seeing.",4 5294,Scooby got out!,2 5295,False!,0 5296,You said that?,2 5297,Yeah.,2 5298,That's not true.,1 5299,"To your point, Ted, as an innkeeper. Do you do that cheapy thing where you only change the linens upon request? I mean, I mean, I mean, how much water is that actually saving?",0 5300,Respect.,0 5301,Wow. Uh... I'm going home.,1 5302,"Oh, so, I made a a decision. I'm going to go through all my old stuff, And I'm getting rid of anything I have no use for anymore. Hmm. Barney, you want my xbox?",1 5303,One more.,4 5304,Stop it.,4 5305,What happened to the plastic rings that held the six-pack together?,3 5306,I'm really sorry I asked you out. If just felt like there might be this weird connection between us. How crazy am I coming off here?,1 5307,You're going to plan everything? This is cutesy and romantic?,0 5308,"Oh, that was fast.",1 5309,Why do not I decide? What is the difference between jam and Nutella?,2 5310,Never go out with the same girl more than once.,0 5311,Or parades.,1 5312,Well...,2 5313,"It's half you're pathetic, half I have to pee.",1 5314,Where's the tape?,0 5315,Daddy's home.,0 5316,Aren't you going to get it?,1 5317,I love everyone in this bar.,1 5318,""Thank God, we're alive" sex.",1 5319,"So, all these years, there's this one question I've been dying to ask him.",0 5320,No!,1 5321,"Friends, tonight is the night. I invite Tiffany home to see my collection of vintage cameras.",1 5322,"I'm not going to let you do this. When Nora gets back here, I'm blowing the whistle.",2 5323,"Tony, stop. It is also a great day for Lucy. You'll have to put your problems aside and think about what is best for her.Whether you like it or not, it really should be the wedding of his mother. I take Lucy with me.",1 5324,"No, not at all.",4 5325,I got ya.,4 5326,Marshall?,2 5327,I'm sorry I yelled out "Abby.",0 5328,"Uh, yeah, it's right in here... Scooby.",1 5329,What?,3 5330,Hi guys! What is it?,4 5331,Tom Petty.,3 5332,Comparable.,3 5333,I know.,1 5334,I unpack. I never leave this apartment.,1 5335,"Saving chicken bones and an old boot to make hobo soup? Marshall, you can't pay your mortgage with Hacky Sacks and good vibes.",0 5336,"Look, I'm sorry your stepdaughter didn't want to spend Thanksgiving with you.",1 5337,"Right. There will be two beds for sleeping, one for sex, and I thought an ottoman for birthdays.",2 5338,That's only two.,1 5339,"Dear wife, thank you for the interest you have for Barney Stinson...",0 5340,I tell you what. How about I make it all dirty stuff and slip in a little clean stuff?,2 5341,It's serious there.,0 5342,"You're wrong about that, man.",4 5343,But none of those places even came close.,3 5344,"Great. Okay. Hey, guys, Zoey just told me about this great Frank Lloyd Wright retrospective tonight. Who's in?",1 5345,I need another beer.,1 5346,"I ate no banana! If you tell it, do it well.",3 5347,"Oh, so many drinks.",4 5348,We're going to Atlantic City to elope. You got to come with us.,2 5349,Because... the slap did exactly what I hoped. It brought us together. And it forced us to recognize the weakness and at the same time the greatness in ourselves and in others.,3 5350,Poor. This is very bad.,3 5351,"Oh, no!",1 5352,"It's fake proposal girl. I mean, she hired a wedding planner!",4 5353,"Yeah, about that.",1 5354,"I'm on it. Hey, man?",3 5355,"I'm all right. Ted, I've just had the most amazing burger of my life! It's this awesome little place, Regis Philbin eats there, so it's sort of like a celebrity hot spot. But the burger. The burger. Dude.",3 5356,"Guys, finish unpacking. I will bake cookies to fill R2-plump.",2 5357,"And it took one year, three months, and 16 days, but eventually...",3 5358,""You still wear overalls faded because it looks torn.And more importantly, you better save the world, and if you became a poor guy then throw yourself off a cliff, because you suck. And I "Licky boom boom down".",3 5359,I repeat...,3 5360,I was...,3 5361,It is said? It should.,0 5362,They never do.,0 5363,"Whatever. It's over. I lost. I guess you, uh, you don't get second chance.",4 5364,They have broken.,4 5365,"Reason 48: "To reinforce good behavior, such as shaving or dental hygiene." Now you conditioned me? Great!That's why I have an erection when I go floss.",3 5366,"Oh, yeah. Do you like it?",4 5367,"No, no, no. You guys can't be objective. You still feel guilty about last night.",1 5368,"It's the picking, I suck at. I pick the wrong girls. But you guys, you're the best pickers I know. You picked each other.",1 5369,75th and Amsterdam.,1 5370,The olive theory.,2 5371,You have the right answer!,0 5372,I'm pretty sure this is a mixed tape you made me in sophomore year.,2 5373,You're already past the cable?,4 5374,Scooby!,3 5375,"Great, we'll take five of those.",4 5376,You must have a permit to be as pretty. And this body? I imagine that something as expl*sive must be registered with the authorities.,0 5377,I hope it's not that you just won some sort of race here.,2 5378,"Oh, sweetie. I have a trick to help you sleep. (She pulls out his g*n) Glue this under your pillow. You'll sleep like a f*cking baby.",4 5379,Licensing and registration papers.,0 5380,Thanks.,1 5381,Exactly.,1 5382,"You, too. (Arthur leaves Marshall's office) You never know who's gonna get hit...",3 5383,"Wait, she's right. Maggie deserves a little time for her.Nobody likes to be alone, especially after a break but... This is where we discover who we really are... and what you really want. She deserves it!",1 5384,"This is ridiculous. We are two grown adults standing among the greatest collection of natural artifacts in the Western hemisphere, and look at what we're doing.",0 5385,Nothing. I just want to win this really badly. So badly that I just ditched my best friend when she needed me.,2 5386,"Yeah, cuz nothing says "Casual" like inviting a hundred people over just to "Mac" on one girl. Oh, and Lily-that's my leg.",0 5387,"Oh, I love Park Slope. When did you move to Manhattan?",4 5388,It's been two minutes.,2 5389,"Come on, it'll be fun.",1 5390,"Yeah. Summer in Canada is pretty much the last week of July. Anyway, one night, his band just finish playing this gig...",4 5391,What do you mean?,0 5392,Why?,1 5393,"Hey, Claudia!",1 5394,My journey was transformative and I reassert my commitment to both the aforementioned paramour and the philosophies he espouses.[/b],4 5395,"Yes, finally I don't have to wait half an hour for a drink.",3 5396,You're probably right.,4 5397,Oh that's good. But hmm. But um...,4 5398,"So, first thing tomorrow I'm going to talk to him, convince him to let me take Lucy, then boom, crisis solved. Stella is happy. Robin comes to marriage.",1 5399,"I'm worried about work, ok? They just hired a new chief legal department... and it will turn people.",3 5400,Really? Because I think I want to tell you the same thing.,1 5401,"I'd love to. (He kisses her) There's just one little thing, and it probably doesn't matter, but... I don't want to get married. I've been saying that all night just to get in your pants.",0 5402,"I can't believe we're leaving a party that had pigs in blankets. If you think we can b*at that, you got some brass ones.",3 5403,No.,1 5404,I spend a very bad day. I've stolen scotch at the duty free. It tells you?,4 5405,Lenny Kravitz will be there?,4 5406,"Yeah, smooth but slowly. God, close the deal, already. It's been, like, 45 minutes... we could have had sex three times by now.",3 5407,"Well, off to meet Steph. We're adrenaline junkies! [...]Penelope is taking me to the Battle of Gettysburg. We're gonna eat squirrel! [...] (Ted enters the living room, dressed up as a wizard) Look, she's really hot, okay?",1 5408,What?,3 5409,"Absolutely. I'm juggling four right now. There's Lisa in Madrid, there's Erica in Tokyo, there's Laura in Denmark, and Kelly on 34th Street. The lass thinks I'm a humble sheep shearer from k*ll.",0 5410,This is an old story of married women.,1 5411,Apparently you can.,4 5412,"I love you, Marshmallow.",2 5413,"I, uh... I am an architect.",1 5414,You're not as sick of all these games? I just want to settle down and have an army of toddlers at once.,0 5415,"Well, boys, looks like it's just the three of us. What's that? Self-five? Nice. (high fives himself) We out.",0 5416,"Barney, I really... I have to grade these papers.",1 5417,"Oh, it's good...",0 5418,I love that blazer. Almost as much as Robin loves Don.,3 5419,How did you find this place?,4 5420,No.,2 5421,Nah.,2 5422,"No, The Force. It's a Star Wars reference.",0 5423,What does that mean for your company? You're going to be fired?,2 5424,"Karen was the first girl I really loved. And after the year I had, I dunno, I think of lunch with her reminded me what it was to turn 18 and life ahead. And I would remind everyone that at least I was wearing pants.",1 5425,"So, Barney, you gonna sing anything?",3 5426,"So, what, now it's a cockapotatomouse?",4 5427,And she's already pregnant again.,2 5428,"That's not justice. It's shoplifting,and it's a crime.",1 5429,Nailed it.,2 5430,"Oh, I know, sweetie. Come here. Is this a hundred percent silk?",4 5431,"Okay, which one is this again?",2 5432,You've already read the intervention on my pronunciation. Where is the letter of Stella?,1 5433,"Oh, my God. We're making out.",4 5434,"No! (To Lily) I didn't, I swear.",3 5435,"You know when you're a kid, you give the terms of hockey at all? The blue line is the kiss, the red is to be naked, and I think that "crease" speaks for itself. After that, my relationship with my father has cooled. I moved with my mother, let my hair grow, was a Canadian pop star. Young normal stuff.",4 5436,Where did Marshall get that hamburger?,0 5437,"Last night, we go to MacLaren's for a drink, right?",0 5438,I love you too.,3 5439,I'm just not ready.,4 5440,Thanks iron man we'll be right back.,4 5441,Yeah.,3 5442,I never thought about Barney so scared.,3 5443,"Well, I'm glad that you're safe. Hey, weird question, why did you drive three miles down Route 23 and take a pee behind a convenience store?",3 5444,There will be 26 events spread out over 11 weeks. We will travel to a neutral city where a panel of international judges...,0 5445,Of course not. You and Robin need to have the talk.,2 5446,"Barney! Oh, my god!",4 5447,"No, it's not. Not anymore. And you know what? Letting go of that dream was the best decision I ever made. You guys actually think I have some lingering itch to be an architect? Work 20 hours a day and weekends? To get ulcers and pull my hair out and worry and doubt myself and then at the end of it all, have the rug pulled out from under me? I love being a professor, okay? All that stupid crap they tell you about how fulfilling teaching is? It's all true. I'm happy, and I'm not letting go of that. My answer's no.",1 5448,Really?,1 5449,Stretch-man?,3 5450,Dubble Bubbles.,1 5451,"Ted, you're not going out so easily. While the history of pants is fun...",2 5452,"The green initiative, for only $12 million, will change the way...",3 5453,Have I ever... If I'm totally honest... Yes.,0 5454,"No, I-I can't. Lily's waiting. I gotta... I gotta find her. Okay, I'll meet you at party number three.",3 5455,She never showed?,4 5456,What point?,1 5457,"No, my secret crush. We met a few years ago.",4 5458,"Challenge accepted. The next 24 hours, I will do everything on the list. And after that, you go to the PQ laser tag with me.",0 5459,"And on the couch, the bed and on the coffee table.",1 5460,Johnny? Johnny!,2 5461,"Let's b*at them up. Ted, come on. You two. Our table.Go. Now!",0 5462,"Baby, are you okay?",2 5463,"Dear Marshall 60 years... Now you would work in a place that contributes to a better world. Or at least you try. No pressure man! I mean, sir. So... If time travel is possible, could you give me a little sign? Tuesday, December 8 at 8:29 p.m.....",3 5464,Are you serious? You're trying to sneak this apartment away from Marshall and Lily?,1 5465,Wait! Don't ask! That's so lame! I don't even want to go anyway.,1 5466,No. Peppermint schnapps turns Barney into Richard Dawson.,4 5467,Make me one.,4 5468,"You are. You definitely are. Listen, you're gonna have to leave now. I just talked with the twins and, get this, I'm going home with both of them! Yeah. That's happening.",0 5469,"So you take it all and you can avoid to argue, eh?",1 5470,"Hey, Maggie. I was just, you know, hmm... How are you?",1 5471,"Hey Robin, what do you think? The girl sitting at the bar. Shields up?",1 5472,"I'm not a smoker. I do not smoke on certain occasions.After sex, when I'm with German, sometimes both at the same time. During sex, for birthdays, to annoy my mother, just before sex, on a sailboat. The day the mentor MC mailly eliminated each year, and of course... wait, because God knows it's true: fear of pregnancy.",0 5473,"Dude, that is cold-blooded.",3 5474,You set this up! You set this whole thing up!,3 5475,"I did not invent it! It happened, this woman kissed me.With language, his tongue was in my mouth.",3 5476,"It's gonna be all night, and I think I want a clown there. I'm a little bit scared of clowns, but for you, I'm there.",2 5477,What's happening?,4 5478,(On Phone) Let's go to MacLaren's.,2 5479,Marshall! Marshall!,2 5480,"Nice to fly to Neverland with Peter Pan? Me, again! It was nice to get out of bed to accompany Charlie to the chocolate? Oh, me, me! Something about Scrooge! Come on, guys. I do all the work.",0 5481,"I am hot! Oh, crawl for it, stripper me.I is awesome. Baby, can I get another hundred?",2 5482,"Sure, it was a good one. Personal memo: leave it lying around the pizza box more often.",4 5483,I'm leaving.,4 5484,"This is our apartment. You let a cake on the counter, Mama's going to offer a slice.",4 5485,The window is open.,1 5486,"(On Phone) Oh, it's totally the ring. If you took that ring off your finger, you'd have a ton o' guys crowding around your junk.",3 5487,"What, this? Just a quick foul '. Just a kid like me has to worry about. Then, "pushing a medical" on the list. (His phone rings) Hold on. Bar here...",0 5488,"Ow! Nails, nails!",2 5489,"Yeah, what are the rules to that game, anyway? Marshall: There are no rules, we just wail on each other.",2 5490,Laptop! Laptop! Laptop! (She sighs when the laptop fall over),4 5491,You were just freakin' teasing us.,3 5492,"We'll have to go elsewhere. In this bar, I will always be the guy left at the altar. It sucks!",1 5493,I was working and I had to take a leap here...reading this magazine. In... the room there.,3 5494,"We went to college together, she's great. Everybody liked him.",3 5495,Yeah.,0 5496,We just sent you a picture of her from six months ago.,0 5497,"Oh okay, you can stay here for two days. But I only have one rule. You can't change anything.",0 5498,I think we're clear.,3 5499,"No. Ted, not quit. I'll remember. Ted is on the other line... and I think he has a problem.",4 5500,"It was that day... July 23, 1981. My mom got pretty mad that he let me destroy a New York City landmark.",0 5501,You can't tell at all.,1 5502,I don't know.,4 5503,"Oh, Barney.",2 5504,No Stella.,3 5505,So if I want a very good contrast ratio...,0 5506,You went home with her!,3 5507,A two-syllable "damn." That's the dream.,4 5508,Of course it is. Marry them! It.,1 5509,Barney! Do you have a problem with this class?,1 5510,"Uh, Lily's busy.",1 5511,And the Captain wasn't glaring at you.,4 5512,"Yeah, stay (mouthing "go")",0 5513,... seriously guys.,1 5514,Take off the rest of your pants.,2 5515,"Thank you, God!",0 5516,"Yeah, cause MacLaren's is fun...",1 5517,"Wait a minute! Today, we are gonna make Marshall laugh.",0 5518,Oh... You like her. You think she smells like rain.,4 5519,It's cute.,1 5520,"Yeah, we'll just call the high school, they'll let us stand in the back and watch.",3 5521,"Two weeks ago, Spanish bar on 79th Street, dish of olives-you had some. What up?",0 5522,"Please tell us, just tell us. I'm begging you. Tell us, tell us, tell us, please, please, please, please, please.",2 5523,"And you've got the couples version of the hots for them. Oh, yeah, you want to browse at pottery barn with them. You want to go antiquing with them, don't you? Oh, yeah, you want to antique the crap out of them.",4 5524,Thank you.,4 5525,I hate to be the one to tell you. Marshall and Lily get divorced.,0 5526,Wait a minute. It's your voice of truth.,2 5527,And I'm saving the best for last.,1 5528,Who's this guy?,3 5529,A new car!,1 5530,Congratulations.,3 5531,You're an idiot.,4 5532,"My father was a cigar fanatic, it was the only way to get his attention.",4 5533,Say you're my bitch.,4 5534,You have bought us a dishwasher?,1 5535,"Oh, baby, why aren't you in bed?",2 5536,"I don't know honey, it's not really a sport for a girl.",3 5537,"Huh... I'm gonna spin that as good. Lots of guys are "something", I'm "something else".",1 5538,Well done.,3 5539,So long as you can find someone you can sit on the couch and put off cleaning the bathroom with.,1 5540,"Oh, yeah, we do that behind your back. Ted-out: to overthink. Also see Ted-up. Ted-up: to overthink something with disastrous results. Sample sentence: Billy Tedded up when",0 5541,"Yeah, I heard him.",1 5542,"Marshall, stop that. Remains strong. Can not you let me hold a little baby with his little cheeks... so cute... and little arms and little legs... This little bastard has dimples. We will tell everyone I'm pregnant.",2 5543,A duty that day of my 15 years. Write a letter to your future you with a list of things you hope to do. "Dear Future Me...",3 5544,What about the graphics.,0 5545,That was really...,2 5546,It's good. It's good.,3 5547,"Hi. Excuse me. I was wondering if you guys could play "Good Feeling" by the Violent Femmes. I know it's probably not in your repertoire, but I'm getting married and my fiancé wants to hire you guys as the band, but I can't sign off on it until I hear you play "Good Feeling" because that's our song, and what kind of wedding band would you be if you couldn't play our song, right? Right?",2 5548,***** S!,3 5549,"Oh, I'm so dead.",3 5550,"What do you mean, no?",1 5551,"Come on guys, you would have at least been able to make it sound right. Jen Coulin?",1 5552,Already? Who?,3 5553,yep.,1 5554,"Guys, guys! Guess what Robin has done.",0 5555,"Lily, it's people too.",0 5556,"I can't believe it! If you're not gonna yell at the waiter, Yell at me.",0 5557,I better not have gotten b*rned.,1 5558,Okay.,0 5559,"Ah, there she is.",0 5560,"I'm birthday suiting up.vI'm sorry, did you want to undress me?",0 5561,"Who, him?",4 5562,Guys! Something went terribly wrong.,1 5563,Not Okay!,1 5564,What?,2 5565,How could your parents not know about me? I'm delightful.,0 5566,Barney. W- What number is this?,3 5567,There's always a guy.,0 5568,And you're "Big caramel.",1 5569,Is it always rebounded against you?,1 5570,"I love my sister, and as a big brother, it's my job to protect guys like you.",1 5571,"Why do I hate you? Are you kidding? Uh, you're actively trying to prevent me from realizing a lifelong dream. So there's that. Plus, you're stubborn and-and-and argumentative. And what kind of name is Zoey, huh? What is that, short for Zoseph? (cell phone ringing) Go on, get it. I'll have more in a second.",1 5572,Uh... okay.,1 5573,To tell you how I feel.,0 5574,What does this mean? Marshall? Ma...?,0 5575,"Someone sent these chicken wings because they were too hot. I do... too hot, you're crazy? So chicken wings free.",2 5576,"So, Gael, huh?",2 5577,So when you think you will play and you get up you go?,1 5578,"No, this rule comes from the american medical association. Doctors aren't legally allowed to date their patients.",1 5579,You can not. You must wait three days before calling.This is the rule.,0 5580,How was your day?,1 5581,It gauze?,1 5582,Impossible.,1 5583,Do not depict me as a monster for wanting to remain independent. In there is a lot of people who do not want it.,4 5584,"Wait, I'll find Amanda.",1 5585,Terrific.,3 5586,"Ted, to your heart, you know that you love one more than the other.Believe me, takes the other.",4 5587,Call you afterwards?,1 5588,"Yes, Moby's party. Check it out. He signed my shirt. And guess what I found. Yeah, I heard it playing at the party, so I swiped it. Yeah, I know. Come on.",3 5589,Hey.,4 5590,You've been mugged by a monkey?,0 5591,"Oh, no. Oh, no.",1 5592,I know! They all bought into.,4 5593,I can stay here tonight?,3 5594,"Yeah, probably.",2 5595,Thirty?!,1 5596,"That's what I thought. Uh, I'm sorry.",4 5597,Girl?,3 5598,"God, i'm such an idiot.",4 5599,"And now they sleep together, we argue more.",4 5600,Yes. He is there every year. And it's a rock star.,1 5601,There are babies everywhere. It's minefield of sweetness. Look at this little bastard.,3 5602,You wanna tell me something?,3 5603,It's 'cause of The Mermaid Theory.,3 5604,"Wait, you're... you're actually gonna hook up with these girls that call you?",1 5605,"Wait. Blitz was there, too?",1 5606,"Mr. Druthers, thank you again for understanding about Lily.",1 5607,"Okay, straight, straight, straight. Now, wait, a little to the left. We'll pass a state trooper.",1 5608,I even understood when Mr. Park to the grocery store downstairs was dead in your eyes.,3 5609,What? What's the matter?,0 5610,"Yeah, really cute.",2 5611,"Oh, I'm sorry about that.",1 5612,Hi.,1 5613,And so began the longest 7:30 of Marshall's life. When I went to look for...,2 5614,Just tell me how!,0 5615,Weather.,3 5616,Your last lap dance ever.,2 5617,I'm back baby doll!,1 5618,"Well, it's just we're leaving sunday morning. It sure would be nice to have some real New Yorkers show us around.",1 5619,"Here, Lily, you answer it.",1 5620,(to the sad girl at the bar) Stay sad! I'll be back!,0 5621,Another robot? The stormtroopers are not robots.,1 5622,"My parents divorced two years there. It was really hard. MDR. ",0 5623,Mmm!,3 5624,Children!? No! Rule: no children under 45! You never read my blog!? He has improved a lot.,0 5625,"Don made sushi, it's cool, huh? He learned in Japan.",4 5626,"Wait, why did you vomit?",1 5627,From grandmother.,1 5628,"Robin, you better check yourself before you trebek yourself. You're a journalist! What is the matter with you?",1 5629,"Hey, guys. Do you want to take two hot girls to prom?",4 5630,It's a good idea.,2 5631,"Ted, didn't you tell me they need a new assistant in your office?",4 5632,"Folks, sorry to stop you before Marshall falls into tears, but Robin, check it out. What you need is a super video resume. Like mine. I present to you: Barneysvideocv.com.(The video starts with an expl*si*n) Hello. Barney Stinson, you have achieved great successes in business, sport and personal relationships, and have been an inspiration to many people.",0 5633,"Baby, you...",2 5634,I've been meaning to clean out that file cabinet for ages.,3 5635,"Oh, crap!",3 5636,I lost 5 kg.,3 5637,"Don't be a hero, Scherbotsky.",0 5638,Why does it need to rhyme?,1 5639,(On Phone) I'm not going to take off my ring! Wouldn't you be jealous of guys swarming all over my beeswax?,2 5640,"And a girl naked, tied to your bed.",4 5641,"Look, it's Halloween. Just put on the girlfriend costume for the night.",2 5642,Thanks for stopping by. I hacked the thermostat for 1 h before it was seen that the intercom.,4 5643,Did you talk to Marshall about it?,1 5644,"Alright, so what's this legendary plan.",1 5645,They're totally onto us. What do we do?,3 5646,"Oh, Barney! Oh, I'm so proud of you. That's not her. I'm so sorry.",2 5647,"Hey. If we're going north, why did we cross over the FDR? We should have taken the Hudson.",1 5648,"It looks like a spring day in Minnesota, there was no q'il all the taxis, the skyscrapers and the blacks.",3 5649,"Hey, um.. When I was a kid, you used to be a roadie. You still do that?",0 5650,"And Marshall. Lily, all these girls here tonight are looking to catch what you've already got.",4 5651,I kept looking at the clock and sighing... totally clueless.,4 5652,"Well, I'm not.",1 5653,"No, I mean, he's not my boyfriend. He's just this guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks.",4 5654,"I guess, but, dude, you're writing checks my vagina can't cash.",2 5655,I just want to make sure you're okay with this.,4 5656,I'll go to Vermont with you.,3 5657,"Yeah. Yeah, she did.",3 5658,"Ted, I don't want to swear in front of Korean Elvis, but what the bleep are you doing, dude?",3 5659,Huh. I should probably disconnect the gas.,0 5660,"New Jersey is not so bad. Stella has a lawn. You can have a lawn mower. They sell there. I've seen with a cup holder. I saw a deck chair with a cup holder. I even saw a hammock with a cup holder. You live in New Jersey, you will not have to hold a cup.",3 5661,Find me someone.,1 5662,"Okay, I'm almost ready to leave. Let's just go through the checklist. Candles?",3 5663,"Aww, that's sweet. While guys like Ted and Marshall may hide their p*rn, I had mine professionally lit. Girls see this, they can't get out of here fast enough.",0 5664,I'm too old for this stuff.,3 5665,"Oh, my God, he's cheating on me with some college girl. I knew there was a skank but I thought she'd at least be dumb.(reading the notebook) "Birthday: July 23.Favorite hockey team: the Vancouver Canucks. Age: 29, but tells people that she's 26." Oh, my God,these are notes about me. Or some 29-year-old version of me.",4 5666,I just hope Ted's okay.,4 5667,I understand why they want to live in New Jersey when you can live in Manhattan? I thought my apartment was one of his reasons for marrying me.,1 5668,"Whenever you take a plane, you lick.",2 5669,"Yeah, we'd love to.",1 5670,"Oh, look. We got an answer. Here it is. "Yes, enemies can become friends. "Remember what Gandhi said. 'Be the change you want to see in the world.'"",3 5671,"Oh, I'm going back home next weekend. It's too bad it's not tonight.",4 5672,"Oh, Barney, come on, I'm having fun. It's really great seeing these guys again.",1 5673,Sure. What's up?,1 5674,"Well, I'm better friends with Ted than you are.",3 5675,Yeah!,4 5676,Carrots and peas.,4 5677,"Step one, talk to a friend Book Roles. Step two, play with one of his colleagues and make angry she steals the Book.Step three, put the combi and say you will do a final round, The Diver with the sexy girl next to the bar. Your friend, let's call her Lily, told him everything about the book. Now the hard part.When Lily and daughter are questioning The Diver, remove the mask, and pull out the stops on your deepest insecurities that do not exist because you are awesome. Sad for you, Lily talks about you to the girl who agrees to have coffee. And... is... gone.",0 5678,Okay.,0 5679,"And well, do not push too. People can be fragile. And sometimes, without even trying, you can tear someone's heart, and crush it in front of a roomful of 26 people and a teacher's assistant.",1 5680,Here she comes. Here she comes.,3 5681,Keep going.,0 5682,The dialogues seem pompous old now.,4 5683,They're happy.,1 5684,How much does Korean Elvis rock? I'll answer that. Infinity. He rocks... infinity.,3 5685,"Hey! No! You don't get to hear the beaver song! It is a sweet song about friendship, and you guys are being disgusting, and beavers are adorable!",4 5686,"Lily, we can't let our kids play baskiceball. Baskiceball is really dangerous.",3 5687,"Are you kidding? They still come to turn a guy in my box.Bilson, is heavy, it is clear, but without this project, I have more work.",1 5688,"Wait. Barney and James are two years apart. If Sam only knew Loretta for a few months, he couldn't possibly be Barney's father.",1 5689,What?!,0 5690,Leave covered?,3 5691,I just met the perfect woman. She's funny. She's beautiful. She loves Star Wars.,1 5692,Colocs?,4 5693,"You're talking about her boobs, right?",1 5694,"(Laughing) Alright, I promise. Let's get Marshall and go, okay. (Takes coats off. To Coat Check Girl) Hey. Thanks for saving my night. I'll talk to you soon? Umm, hey... tip her, Barney.",1 5695,Are you sure you want to do that? You know how it is.,4 5696,How did you do?,1 5697,"Okay. You want to fire me from here, I go out. I look forward to seeing what the universe has prepared me.",1 5698,"This better be good, I'm about to enter nirvana. By the way, I should give you Nirvana's phone number, she gives a great massage. Say what?",0 5699,"Okay, no. Jeff, this is all very impressive, but I just don't think that...",3 5700,"Anyway, speaking of engaged, check out what got back from being resized.",4 5701,"If this is so important, Amanda is not in the picture. It does not spoil your birthday. Give him a chance.",1 5702,Write yourself a letter. That way you will remember the reasons for the break when you miss.,1 5703,Oh! What do I win?,4 5704,You really want to hear about boring architect stuff?,1 5705,It was last call. In this very bar.,0 5706,"(On Phone) Wow, okay-well I'll be there.",4 5707,Alright.,3 5708,I can't not answer. It's impolite.,3 5709,"Oh, my God.",3 5710,"Hey, toots! How about a ride? Oh. Hey, Robin, it's you.",0 5711,"Hey, Barney... love the new identities. Little thing... instead of being a naked super ninja, can I be Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada?",2 5712,Did you know that some mushrooms are carnivorous? Probably... not?,1 5713,Really? Who sings that?,4 5714,She hot?,0 5715,Think about it.,1 5716,"Yes, exactly, plus, we're on a tight schedule. I've got the entire evening perfectly planned out... Spoiler alert: Our last stop is an after hours club so after hours, it's three days from now. What up?",0 5717,More hungry...,0 5718,"It's good, but I think it comes down to trick the three months to live.",4 5719,Party number three.,0 5720,Come on. You have no idea what kind of criminals with whom they put me.,0 5721,Super Stan. Who is it?,4 5722,Wait a second. Want it called?,2 5723,What was what?,1 5724,How we came up with that?,1 5725,So you're saying you would forbid me from going?,2 5726,"Okay. Well, if you didn't want the painting, can I... can I at least get it back?",2 5727,"Blah, blah, blah, blah. Rambling architecture anecdote. Blah, blah, something about a bridge. Blah, blah, blah...",1 5728,I'm worried. That woman is actually wearing a-a garbage bag.,3 5729,And hast me you vomit in your Stormtrooper helmet.,3 5730,"Okay, there's her building. When she comes out, I'm gonna hide, and once you figure out if she's the girl from the bar, we run like hell.",0 5731,""For now" you draw a picture of a future where everything will be magical, but in truth, it'll never happen.",3 5732,Scott?,3 5733,"I did, but it turns out, I memorized it. You can't delete contacts from your brain, Lily.",4 5734,My God. He goes to see now.,2 5735,It's one of New York Magazine's "Top five romantic getaways on a budget." Who says sexual can't be sensible?,3 5736,"Duck's good... (long pause, then whispers...) rabbit's bad.",3 5737,"No, it wasn't a cockroach. It had fur and only mammals have fur.",3 5738,What would I be doing?,2 5739,Because you have feelings for Ted.,2 5740,"Fine. If an act of God is what it takes, then an act of God it is.",1 5741,"At first, yes, but we figured out a great way to deal with it: we never talk about it. And since then, we've really been enjoying each other's company.",1 5742,"Great! Who commissioned illustrated soap? Marissa Heller, I like your style.",2 5743,I really should give this money to the Peace Corps. They've done so much for me lately.,0 5744,"I missed that glitch. I know, do not bother to say. There's no glitch in the wine.",1 5745,The period of mourning? She has not had a period of mourning.,0 5746,Stop the cab.,1 5747,"Hey, kid. (With another couple and their child...) So this little angel is already every night?",3 5748,"I'm delighted that you stop it. And frankly, the real Barney is better than all the false Barney's Book of Roles.",2 5749,I have a kind of mole on my back. It's probably nothing but I'm a cautious guy.,1 5750,"You know, you can do this, Ted. I said that I would stop biting my nails, and kablam-ey. It's just a challenge. It can't be easy to woo someone while you're sticking your naked butt in their face.",2 5751,"It's a smurf penis, we're no dice.",4 5752,Nailed it!,2 5753,Just this one little thing and the rest of the night is ours.,0 5754,You're not the only one who provided e "Dude-haired.",1 5755,It's called body language. Remember when she was touching your arm and leaning in real close?,0 5756,Girly.,4 5757,"It's just... It was so hard to watch, Robin. You're usually so cool.",3 5758,"Oh, big news. The board finally settled on a site for the building.",0 5759,"Yes, let's go get dinner.",4 5760,Bowl.,1 5761,Whatever the girl I'm trying to point is that I go with her tonight. And... they're off!,0 5762,"Really, that's great. You and George, all thanks to me.",2 5763,"And this restaurant that you draw, what form it, Hoss?",4 5764,"I do not care about your reasons, you know what I think of smoking. Now give me the cigarettes! And the lighter. (Lily lights a cigarette) Aaah, that thing!",2 5765,I'm sorry. Is he all smooth down there?,2 5766,"* A bang-bang, bangity-bang. *",0 5767,"It means everything. If you come not to Robots vs. Wrestlers, it's the end of our friendship.",0 5768,I was a teenage pop star in Canada.,4 5769,I did not say that!,1 5770,lame or "Casual"?,1 5771,I can do anything!,3 5772,"Okay, so I have no money on me... it's because... I was as*ault.",3 5773,"Oh! Zoey! There you are. Oh, my God. You have a monocle. Is this real? Is this really happening?",1 5774,"Okay, time's up. What are we talking about?",0 5775,Yeah. First guy we talked to. Ship captain. How great is that?,1 5776,That's the intersection.,0 5777,You're right. The banana was on the floor.,0 5778,What? No. I'm just hoping it doesn't rain. Why? Do I look nervous?,1 5779,"Ooo. She's cute! (To Carl) Hey Carl, turn it up!",2 5780,"A little bread, chicken, celery sticks and a spoon of peanut butter. We f*ck like rabbits?",2 5781,"Gender, body language. Okay, we had a drink last week.",3 5782,It's amazing.,0 5783,Thank you. Thank you. That's perfect. That totally takes the pressure...,1 5784,I am freaking out. Is there a chance that I can't have kids? I've been hit in the nuts a lot.,3 5785,"Unfair? I wouldn't let you take care of the imaginary kids I make up to score with single moms. That's it Ted, we're going home. Ted? Ted, you okay?",0 5786,It's a pleasure to see you again. I really enjoyed it last night. So how does it feel to hold a Pizza Hut? Who had the idea to put a pineapple in the...,4 5787,Prem's.,1 5788,Fine.,3 5789,"As Undersecretary of Finance, I had a great influence on this legislation. Now, I wonder if you will accompany me in the map room to stimulate my package.",0 5790,I guess I'm impressed by how much you remembered.,4 5791,"All right, going down to the bar and ordering three beers, I'll see you in five minutes.",1 5792,"Yeah, but Ted provoked me.",0 5793,But... food.,4 5794,"No, don't stop the car.",0 5795,"Ted, you can't do this. Please, we're to be friends and now you're making it all confusing.",4 5796,"I was on my favorite site for real estate auction... Come on, we all did... visit some properties on the site.",1 5797,What's going on? There are queuing outside the McLaren's.,2 5798,Or Robin. Or Robin. You made us break too? You made us break too?,1 5799,I'll take what I can get.,1 5800,"Oh... I'm sorry, Lily. I'm just never going to like that woman.",1 5801,"Wait, so you haven't had sex since like Thanksgiving. Do you know how many big federal holidays have come and gone since then.",3 5802,"Uh, Scooby, the tag's still on your jeans.",1 5803,"I want to k*ll him, of course people watching this show.You look at her. My God, you still have not seen the program.",4 5804,"The irony is clear, Ted.",4 5805,It's not a good idea. Heather and Barney alone in his office? And I do not want to be guarantor for the lease.,1 5806,"Well-uh-maybe in a few months after it's not so fresh, we could all-uh...you know, get a beer.",1 5807,"Well, he's not my dad. My dad's Bob Barker.",0 5808,"Barney, do you want...?",4 5809,"Now, the g*n is pointed at me, and our future children, and our future little monkeys. Depends on who wins the game is played for 3 years.",3 5810,A hat-shaped building.,1 5811,"Guys, cut the act. I know. I know about the surprise party you guys are throwing me. Marshall let it slip earlier today. Hey, I'll totally act surprised and everything. Just be sure to invite Stella.",1 5812,"Yes, it would. It really would.",3 5813,"All right, you're suit up, I bearded down. Let's get out there and win this thing.",1 5814,"No, but, baby, I yanked on his beard.",3 5815,You filled it. Grub-man has a panna cotta in his office.,0 5816,"Single, recently single, recently divorced, lesbian who will let me watch.",0 5817,"Well, maybe to him you are, but in the story of picking up the box for Zoey, you're the hero.",4 5818,Weird? Why would it be weird? Because you used to date our best friend or because my wife thinks your new boyfriend is incredibly hot?,3 5819,Wasn't expecting bunnies.,1 5820,It means... maybe you belong in that box.,1 5821,"Oh, thank God. (chuckling) I couldn't agree more. That's total crap. I see people reading that on the subway and I just want to shout, "Get a life, people!"",1 5822,Here's the plan.,1 5823,"Oh, no. How have I landed on it? Salvation. Ted Mosby. (With another woman) I plead guilty. Salvation. Ted Mosby. (And another) It's embarrassing. I will be on the cover of "An egg on my face" magazine. But I'm not. I'm on the cover of that one. Salvation. Ted Mosby.",1 5824,Check.,2 5825,"Well, here's hoping he cheats on you.",4 5826,Hey!,3 5827,Robin Shit! I knew Barney first. This is for me to slap.,1 5828,Whoa.,3 5829,"Hi, Mary. Have you met Ted?",0 5830,"Ted, you're not gonna like this, but we do have one other option.",2 5831,"In the first year of college, I studied in Paris, and I had not seen Marshall since 2 months.",2 5832,He was trying to earn money to feed his family.,3 5833,I'm making more money than you.,3 5834,"Hum. Really, never? Not even if, say, butterflies flew out of his ass?",2 5835,You told your dad we're trying to have a baby?,2 5836,I once took a ballet class. Not ashamed.,1 5837,"Oh, so much better.",4 5838,What happens after that is out of the jacuzzi. Great?,0 5839,"Oh, hey, hey-o. New guy entering the cockpit. Could it be the navigator, Ted Mosby.",0 5840,"You want us to go in New Jersey? Oh, that's great.",3 5841,"Oh, Ted, that's so romantic. I want to fill a pillowcase with dead batteries and b*at you with it.",0 5842,"Oh, I wouldn't even wait to find out. I would be on the next plane to Germany.",4 5843,"Yes, but I'm the bride so I win.",2 5844,I will face it.,1 5845,"Robin, your revertigo is really starting to affect your work.",3 5846,"But I'm not doing it, I am a journalist.",4 5847,It's good. I will emigrate to a country where nobody saw the bride.,1 5848,"No, even if you pay me. I have an inner ear problem.",0 5849,It's gonna work. We're going to make it work-- it'll work.,1 5850,Can I talk for a second?,3 5851,Awkward conversations with middle-aged couples trying to stave off divorce.,3 5852,I'm just really feeling this cheeseburger.,4 5853,I needed one that rotates.,0 5854,"Hi, Robin. A more.",1 5855,Okay. Your turn.,2 5856,"I wish I could join you guys, but I got to get back to my apparently boring job.",1 5857,(On Phone) I totally wanted to come; I got stuck at work again. I feel like I live there. I'm sorry I missed your party...again.,4 5858,"Whatever, whatever. I don't care what you think.",1 5859,What?,3 5860,"I feel sorry for you, man.",0 5861,Oh! what a horrible smell.,2 5862,"There is no fire. In fact, you know, there's a fire in the barbecue where I go. Nothing special. Burgers, chops...merguez.",3 5863,"That can't be right. Eight? Really, eight?",1 5864,"Yes, ma'am. What is ironic is that...",3 5865,One. "Vancouver Canucks 2004 Division Title.",1 5866,Uh... That's my parents.,0 5867,"Well, if it's not yes, then it's a no.",4 5868,You do not like playing the son of Barney?,4 5869,"No, never.",2 5870,"Marshall... Something's happened. Um... Your father, he had a heart attack. He... he didn't make it.",2 5871,"Okay, nobody get down. We knew this going in. We're a man down. That just means we're gonna have to party that much harder. Ranjit! Party number one.",1 5872,"I am a person who... Well, are facing. There are a bunch of people I do not want to see... as the group of "girls that I skipped"... but if one of them came here, I would stay there, and I would look into his eyes. For some, this would be the first time.",0 5873,Nice set of forms.,1 5874,Madam... that is an insult that cannot be borne! I demand satisfaction!,0 5875,"Wow, it is like looking into a poorly dressed mirror.",0 5876,If I could see her naked. If I could see her naked. If I could see her naked. And fours.,0 5877,"To summarize, I have a date tonight. (We hear screaming outside) Thank you, New York! I try not to screw up.",1 5878,"The Arcadian has to go, doesn't it?",1 5879,"I will raise this child with you. You're not alone. You can get married if you want, but I want to see other girls, it would be one of those marriages...",1 5880,"Puffy cheeks, smudged mascara, slightly red nose... That girl was just crying. She's so sad and defenseless. Anyone have a condom?",0 5881,So?,0 5882,"Oh, and she's totally hot.",4 5883,Mom. Dad. Uh... What are you doing here?,3 5884,You do?,2 5885,"Where's the poop, Robin?",2 5886,"I appreciate your help, but there's a reason your name is Robin, not Batman.",1 5887,"Wait, so, this is real. Barney does this?",1 5888,No one wants to see a guy who comes to play with dolls.,4 5889,Got it.,1 5890,What song? There was a piece?,0 5891,"Yeah, with the whole "I want to get married" thing. You can't just tell someone exactly what you want out of a relationship. This... isn't England.",0 5892,"Yes, you do. Whenever you haven't seen someone for a long time, no matter how much you want to deny it, there's always a clear winner and a clear loser.",1 5893,"Because, you're my best friend, alright? You don't have to tell me I'm yours. But the way I see it, we're a team. Without you, I'm just the dynamic uno. You know what, fine. If you wanna go home... then we'll go home.",0 5894,You do not give a lecture tonight?,4 5895,"Ted, let's go to New Haven.",2 5896,"Dammit that's intriguing! OK, I'm in.",3 5897,What?,2 5898,"Yes, I went for 4 months.",4 5899,What thing?,4 5900,"Yeah, jealous, because she's got it, and you've lost it.",0 5901,Bowl.,1 5902,Great.,1 5903,You said it was gonna be three days.,1 5904,"Ted, that girl didn't quit. You destroyed her.",4 5905,"It not return until Thursday. It was all the way here and not return until Thursday. I feel stupid. Listen, they say nothing to Lily about everything, OK? Especially the part where thou dredges.",3 5906,"Yeah. When he finds it, he'll understand why his ball was taken away, he'll stop being mean, and the office will be a nicer place to work. Maybe he'll even be open to hearing your ideas.",2 5907,A rainbow? Sounds like that bitch had it coming.,1 5908,"If you want me to say yes right now, I-I can't do that.",1 5909,No. Because you slept with her on Halloween.,2 5910,Bedford Hills Federal Penitentiary.,0 5911,"And there, a tiny detail has surfaced, and it ruined the whole evening.",3 5912,"It may seem insignificant, but they got to our table.",0 5913,It seems more important than it is.,4 5914,"No, you idiot. That was me.",2 5915,"Yeah, we spent the night.",0 5916,"Well, I think we should love again.",1 5917,Locker room talk. Do you want to know what it's like in a men's locker room?,3 5918,Why else would he buy me flowers? He's gettin' some on the side.,4 5919,Because I love you always!,1 5920,"I'm fine, really.",4 5921,"All right, let me see that.",1 5922,"I accept your invitation. Marshall Eriksen, from this day forward, I will be the wingman of your mind. Now, focus on the next dancer. Put Lily completely out of your mind.",0 5923,"Uh, L-Lily, uh, talk about your open marriage.",0 5924,"OK, bring the mockery. Fine, I can take it. Come on, wouldn't it be the coolest story ever if the Slutty Pumpkin turned out to be my future wife?",1 5925,And then we brought you home and put you to bed.,2 5926,"Yeah, I felt really bad bailing on Ted though.",4 5927,The waiter asked him: "Do you want covered? "And she said:" I'm going home. ",3 5928,"Oh, yeah.",3 5929,Hey.,4 5930,You must embrace strangely.,3 5931,No. What about Lily and Michelle?,0 5932,"You may not realize this, but since we broke up, Robin and I have never really been alone together.",1 5933,"Huh? Yeah. Why wouldn't we be? Oh, the baby thing.",2 5934,"What? What's the matter with you? Anyway, both of these girls are into you. Take your pick.",2 5935,"Arise, New York. Trust. Recycle. Exit covered.",4 5936,"Passed. Who wants to do something to 3? (The two women throw their glasses to him the figure) Lisa, wait.",0 5937,"The slap bet commissioner's word is final, so get in the kitchen and mash some potatoes, now. And for the rest of the day, we are going to enjoy a civilized, grownup holiday.",2 5938,Whoa. Put that away.,3 5939,Just go with it.,2 5940,"Every woman wants a date on Valentine's Day. That neediness reaches its climax... what up... on February 13. A magical night when a ten has the self-esteem of a four and the depraved enthusiasm of a two. Now, there's only one thing you can't do.",0 5941,Super.,1 5942,"You know what else is a mouthful? All that double-talk other banks give you. At Goliath, customer satisfaction is our most important investment.",0 5943,That's it? I suck. Lily.,3 5944,What are you saying?,1 5945,"Seriously, dude, he has got to go. You need to be like, "You are the weakest link. Goodbye." Punchy, the tribe has spoken. Please pack up your knives and go. Your work of art didn't work for us. Your time's up. I have to ask you to leave the mansion. You must leave the chateau. Your tour ends here. You've been chopped.",0 5946,All right.,2 5947,You look good. Have you lost weight?,0 5948,Give what a rest?,1 5949,You do not think you'd feel better if you talked to him?,2 5950,Stop please.,1 5951,we could be friends (shrugs),4 5952,What are you doing here?,4 5953,"BUT MAN, WHEN I FIND HER. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SOME BADASS WINE TASTINGS.",1 5954,"Well, I got a dinner res... (Ted ducks out)",1 5955,"Yes, you're right. But also... you just sat down in the cake.",4 5956,What the hell comes before "Q"?,2 5957,"You know what, the kid is not a problem. I wanna meet this guy.",4 5958,I can't believe Barney is talking to his dad right now.,3 5959,"Ted, card.",0 5960,you don't have... (Wendy the waitress comes and serves food to Barney),0 5961,"I saw them two months ago at my cousin Bonzo's wedding, they were great.",1 5962,"But "L'Amour" means love! They're going to the cafe of love! I'm fine. It's fine. Point is, Robin, I don't even like Nora. Damn it!",0 5963,"I go step-louse. If you are looking for Ted, he was released. And... our little arrangement is... completed, by the way.",4 5964,Wow. OK. Yeah. Wi... Will we still see each other?,2 5965,Oh. Do you want to cook dinner tonight?,2 5966,"Okay, I love you because, one, you made me a sack lunch and two, you laugh every time you say the word "sack".",3 5967,Since like an hour ago.,4 5968,"Well, there's only one possible way to avoid getting deported. My lawyer said I could become an American citizen.",4 5969,Really? Why not?,3 5970,"No, he's not. He doesn't exist. I made the whole thing up to see if you like her. And you do. So you should just call her. Here is her number. And I also programmed it into your phone while you were in the bathroom. Wow. That was a joke. You just got here, remember? You really are smitten.",4 5971,(muttering to himself) I am never not wearing a suit again.,1 5972,Go for the new girl.,0 5973,"Yeah, I'm pregnant.",4 5974,"Oh, no! Take pictures, okay?",1 5975,"Ranjit, stop the car. I'm getting a cab.",1 5976,I think the first who plays Barney deflates.,3 5977,It should. Or... it is said that red is our favorite color and found the look "cowboy" sexy.,0 5978,Damn!,1 5979,"Glad to know she's also mouthy in a good way. What up? Dude, that's his girlfriend.",0 5980,"So, the machines... k*ll everyone. And there are only you, me, and Barney. Who among us would you... you?",3 5981,"Not good, not good, not good, not good.",1 5982,"Okay, I'm done.",1 5983,Really?! (excited),1 5984,I've never seen that woman before in my life! Sorry. Force of habit. Congratulations!,0 5985,Close your eyes. It will soon be over.,2 5986,You were serious with this story of the fifth lookalike?A baby is big enough to let the universe decide.,3 5987,At least it's better than booger. (Laughs) Booger.,2 5988,I want to press the button to blow up The Arcadian!,1 5989,So what do you mean "it wasn't a date"?,3 5990,"Really? Well, believe me, Mosby. One day you shall tell this story and you'll see things my way.",0 5991,"I completely forgot, I teach a class tonight. How would you like to come and see what happens during an architecture?",1 5992,(To Ranjit-Cabdriver) Stop the car. Uh-pull over right here. I gotta do something.,1 5993,You want to get out of the way?,1 5994,"No, I refuse to believe that Ted is getting back with Zoey because of lightbulbs.",0 5995,Bluntly.,3 5996,"*Baby, you're not that kind...*",2 5997,Whoa. I got to dial back on the Tantrum.,1 5998,"Really. And that I had with Becca was a perfect relationship. She was allowed to call me once a week. If it becomes too sticky, the armed guards stoppaient. I've never had to pay for dinner. In fact, this is false. I pay taxes. I guess we all paid for dinner. Thank you, guys. Anyway, at the last visit, I screwed up.",0 5999,Violent Femmes. I love this song.,3 6000,Just tell me who you slept with!,2 6001,"No, wait. I have something to say. Everyone. Let me tell you something about Canadians.",4 6002,""Baby, I got to eat at Generro. I come home soon. "Yes, it sounds bad, but thinking a little. It is perhaps for his brother or father who is ill.",4 6003,You really feel this ring now.,3 6004,Okay. Yep.,1 6005,"Down to the sweet 16. And coming out of the Upper West Side, we have the number three seed, "Girl who thought I owned Google," up against the number seven seed, "Girl who thought I was a scuba instructor."",0 6006,Painting for sale! $500! Lifelong dream hanging in the balance! It's like they don't even see us.,2 6007,In California?,3 6008,"Don't blame this on me, Marshall. I told you to yell at someone beneath you. The circle of screaming is... The chain of scr... Pyramid... the pyramid of screaming! The pyramid of screaming.",0 6009,Yeah.,3 6010,Thank you. Because I really need you to handle it.,1 6011,"It's fine, Claudia. Don't worry about it.",1 6012,"Well, so could Heads or Tails. (snorts) The first currency rotation specialist went on to be a semi-finalist on The Bachelor, and then, she lost, like, a hundred pounds on The Biggest Loser, and now she's totally winning Celebrity Rehab.",4 6013,Funny...,2 6014,Think I just got over being chunky in the ninth grade.,3 6015,Do you remember what happened?,1 6016,"Not funny, dude.",3 6017,"Oh, come on! You leaned into it.",1 6018,"Your call, buddy.",1 6019,Do you take credit cards?,1 6020,"So many questions. Firstly, what do you think would happen if a guy walked into that store wearing a suit of boots?",0 6021,Ted?,0 6022,There is nothing serious. And certainly nothing serious enough that you hold my hand.,1 6023,You said she looked like a movie star.,1 6024,"I'm challenged to have sex with overalls. And if you stay on my path, then you let Barney win. And you do not want that!This place will never tell us the end of history.",0 6025,Let it go.,4 6026,You know what?,4 6027,So? Did you kiss her?,3 6028,Maybe North Korea?,2 6029,And then you go up on the roof... and drink beer.,0 6030,Get rid of your demons!,4 6031,"Sorry, you talk about the fourth book of madrigals?",1 6032,"Oh, well, that's good. I'm OK, thanks.",4 6033,Show me "owl attack".,1 6034,What?,4 6035,"It is near the gym Stella. We could cross. Everywhere else, it's going.",1 6036,It seems that the lamb is great here.,1 6037,"So, Ted, yesterday at work, I totally talked you up to that super-hot makeup girl, Liz.",4 6038,If you say so.,1 6039,That one is good. And... end! What is the total?,3 6040,Robin's bringing a date.,3 6041,"Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?",1 6042,I'm not going to a matchmaker. That's like giving up. It's the man version of getting a cat.,1 6043,Hi.,4 6044,Whoa. Are you okay?,1 6045,"Marshall, try this. Keep your eyes closed until the last second and when I say, open them.",1 6046,"When I think about going for anything more than that, I look at my life, and who I am, and... I'm too far gone. I'm broken.",0 6047,"Damn, baby, be cool!",2 6048,You should have seen.,0 6049,"Isn't it weird that we should run into each other like this? Two souls of equal levels of attractiveness, both fitting together like two pieces of a very attractive puzzle.",0 6050,And Sarah.,1 6051,Enter!,1 6052,"It's not so bad. You can put a mini fridge, there, and perhaps an air hockey.",3 6053,"Basically, Lily made us break.",4 6054,"No doubt, Robo Cop.",3 6055,Are you okay?,2 6056,You don't believe in me.,2 6057,"No, I would never do that. I don't wanna go anywhere. I'm all yours.",4 6058,Whoo!!!,2 6059,Yes!,0 6060,"Victoria, I know this must be...",1 6061,Fine. But if we're stuck in here... I'm turning up the volume. Shh. Shh.,3 6062,Say I had a picture of Moliere on my backpack.,1 6063,There... a girl in the gym. Pauline. She runs after me for a while.,0 6064,I'll see if the toilet. I also want to bring you back buffer.,4 6065,What? You had not interviewed the mayor?,3 6066,"You've ruined Lily's birthday and you want me to apologize? At worst, you should apologize.",3 6067,"Yeah, seriously, Ted, you not discolor hair.",2 6068,"Hi, this is Barney.",0 6069,"Lily, it's horrible!",4 6070,"Good evening, tonight we will quickly see the different bridges. There are 6 types of bridges, small, large, with suspension and three others. You land on each side and water in the middle. See you next week.",1 6071,Another couple? No! We want it. Sell it to us. We'll give you so much more money.,3 6072,I'm pregnant.,2 6073,Barney is right. It is impossible to deny that.,3 6074,How?,4 6075,Hello.,1 6076,"Whoa. Whoa. Guys, my dad just died.",3 6077,I've taken a light beer. I know the dancers count calories.,1 6078,"Exactly. I say, Marshall, my good man, how's my bow tie?",0 6079,"You really don't remember, Superbrain?",3 6080,What has happened?,2 6081,"Last year you were abandoned at the altar. You lost your job. You did so along way. I am so proud of you, Ted. You deserve to slap someone in the face as hard as you can.",4 6082,"Okay, now we need to get them something that will make them emotionally vulnerable and completely, pathetically honest.",4 6083,"We're not going to the "Origins of Chewbacca" exhibit,Marshall. It's inHouston this year. Everyone knows that. I just wanted to get rid of the girls.",0 6084,"Exactly, the platinum rule. Stella reads my blog.",0 6085,"Well, in her defense, hamburger pizza, Ted? What are you, 12?",2 6086,"I had just returned from a marathon to study the law library. Hi, Natalie, where is Ted?",3 6087,You remembered my birthday!,4 6088,Gruesome.,1 6089,A prom? Can... can we go to that?,2 6090,"Hey, it's Robin. Um, Lily needs you to download the sheet music for "Good Feeling" and bring it out here, like, now.",4 6091,"Ok, you know this old video of me?",3 6092,We saw.,2 6093,"Oh, no. He's very open about that. That's Gregory. Nice guy.",4 6094,Ooh!,2 6095,You have not finished? Why is it so long?,4 6096,Who was that guy?!,2 6097,"Yes. So you see why it would be a very bad idea for you to go up there. Go home, Ted.",2 6098,I'm staying.,4 6099,"Or it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter. Even better, triple threat-- hotter and bigger boobs.",0 6100,"There was a problem at school, it was therefore the day. I thought to visit you, eat something with a nice little dessert.",2 6101,"My God, this is incredible. We're like the same person. Sarah O'Brien loves brunch.",1 6102,"Okay, fine. It's about the girl! I am doing this for Zoey! I'm in love with her. Look, I know it's early, but there is a very good chance Zoey might be the mother of my children. So, in addition to doing this for John Clifford Larrabee, I'm also doing this for Luke and Leia.",1 6103,You can dunk more.,1 6104,"It was an honest mistake. Look, when somebody opens up a container with an entire chicken in it, it's okay to assume they made lunch for everyone.",1 6105,Really?!,2 6106,You understand?,4 6107,"Hey, Barney, there's a bunch of models in the lobby, and the gossip is one of them is really a dude. You want to play "Who's Hot and Who's Scott?"",1 6108,"So, (looks to the cabdriver) Ranjit... you must've done it with a Lebanese girl.",0 6109,"So now with Ted out of the picture, I'm gonna swoop in and take the whole thing.",0 6110,No!!,3 6111,"Hmm. You're not wrong. (He looks on his phone) According to the web site, of the far superior Ted Mosby... he's been in the business three months, and he's made 125 movies.",0 6112,Three: "Emperor Penguins.",1 6113,I'm always on the verge of sleep Ted.,0 6114,So disappointing.,2 6115,So last Christmas...?,1 6116,"Hey. Carlos, can you give us a minute?",1 6117,It might help you feel better.,1 6118,"And then I'll come in, looking hot as all hell.",4 6119,"Hi. Uh, Ted Mosby for Dr. Zinman.",1 6120,"(happy) look at you, you beautiful bastard, you suited up! This is totally going in my blog!",0 6121,Yeah.,0 6122,Yes. Why you ask?,0 6123,I've got five dogs.,4 6124,Bizarre. It's weird.,3 6125,Tree?,2 6126,"Oh, I like Focus. Let's go there.",4 6127,I do not love Don.,4 6128,"Oh, I just want to see her. Want to look at her, see what she looks like.",0 6129,I Tail-Dalle.,2 6130,"So at any point in this did you say, "Barney, I know what you're doing, and it's not going to work. I am not taking that job"?",4 6131,Marshall?,4 6132,You know what else wakes you up in the morning? Coffee.,3 6133,What is?,4 6134,And Barney.,4 6135,"Yeah. And I broke it. I'm sorry. But, Ted...seriously, this suite at the Bellagio...",0 6136,Sure.,1 6137,What?!,2 6138,What are you talking?,1 6139,"No, it's not like that. It's just us and a bunch of other people.",4 6140,"Oh, you're entertaining? Last night there were 3 minutes of silence where you tried to patch up your sweater.",1 6141,He's going to masturbate.,2 6142,This is going to be the second-most fun I've ever had on an Asian leg. (both laughing),0 6143,What's it look like?,1 6144,It's not a doll. It's a stormtrooper.,0 6145,"(scoffing) Now he knows all the streets. Someone's been watching too many "Steinfield reruns". (Woman laughing, Ted laughts sarcastically)",0 6146,And you know what happens right after a fight? Gender reconciliation. What is different... when you're in a loving and lasting relationship.,0 6147,"Did I? No, I, I love Marshall's family.",2 6148,"Well, you know, auto focus, speed of obstruction, zoom...",2 6149,Yeah. So...,1 6150,Who are you calling?,2 6151,Is it her?,0 6152,"Oh, this is good!",0 6153,That's not even possible.,3 6154,"Oh my God, guys, I still have a hangover. Did I really ruin a marriage?",3 6155,Dude!,4 6156,"Yeah. No, I don't know. They're old sorority sisters.",1 6157,I know.,1 6158,I know.,1 6159,"Actually, I like those pretentious snobs and they are not old fashioned fart noise when I open my mouth. I remain. See you tomorrow.",1 6160,You kiss?,0 6161,"Yeah, he's a creepy dude. But I like him. And I just want to make sure you and I hanging out doesn't, you know, cross any lines.",1 6162,"Wow, Jackie, you make a really great first impression. I have a feeling that tonight you might end up being Jackie O.",0 6163,Leave him alone! Sometimes even the greatest warriors sh**t themselves in the foot.,0 6164,He wants to be fought? As with our hands and stuff?,1 6165,Holly and I are going to dinner.,1 6166,"Oh, hey! Thank you so much. We're super excited. We're thinking June. (laughs) Yeah, okay. Okay, jerk, do you remember how you ended up buying those red cowboy boots?",4 6167,"And I went with a bang. Why did I do that? It comes perhaps my father issues, but... basically, I allowed my best friend to sleep with the girl of my dreams. I completely sabotaged. And now, I smoke. I smoke.",0 6168,"So, did she get the awesome care package yet?",4 6169,"Sure, of course. As long as you're happy, I'm happy.

(Ted hits him where it hurts the most...) Who punches someone in the groin? Okay.Okay. I deserved that. I deserved that. But what's important now is... we're passed this whole Robin thing now, right?",0 6319,"I mean, why else would he let 30 years go by? He's ashamed to have me as a son.",0 6320,"And you! Ooh. Barney, you look real stupid in that suit. You're gonna go get your money back and give it to charity. And I don't mean that stripper you keep e-mailing us about, even though we beg you to take us off that list.",1 6321,Okay.,4 6322,(To Barney) He has no idea. (Barney falls backward) And up we go.,3 6323,"Eventually, he just gave up and left. And then his cousin's website t*nk. And then he became a janitor at an old folks' home and moved into a one-room apartment above a bowling alley.",0 6324,No.,0 6325,I'll get another bottle.,1 6326,So these poor women must still walk? Expect. Scooter works in your school?,3 6327,"I'm an architect. I would find a way. And if I start now, this is over so that my wife and I can move.",1 6328,New plan: Meet me at the entrance in five minutes.,0 6329,It will get better with Tiffany.,1 6330,Barman. Triple Sec.,1 6331,But may I suggest one little modification.,0 6332,Prove that I will be just as great at 80. I'll go out with a girl of 22 years with my old man makeup.,0 6333,"Wait. But, wait, if you leave now, Colonel mustard just gets away with it.",3 6334,"There can be only one explanation for that. Tiffany is a representative... e, pharmaceuticals?",0 6335,"Your plans were the best and you deserve it. You should know one thing that you did not get the job early. You see, Ted...",0 6336,So... Strip club.,4 6337,Tonight's the first time I'm taking my deaf brother out since our mom died.,0 6338,Positive?,1 6339,"Now, Robin... You work in television. We're experiencing some technical difficulties. ( she laughs): You get that? We're still laughing. Right? Laugh,Marshall.",2 6340,So what do we think of Ted?,2 6341,That's the one.,4 6342,"Yeah, yeah, yeah... I sent you some pictures on my phone, check it. (Pictures show Barney doing "I see you" hang gesture) Philly! (Hangs up. To Ted) Admit it, you're having fun. This much fun. Thirty-five thousand feet of fun!",0 6343,"Oh, come on. It's-It's past midnight. Desperation Day has come and gone, and you have neither gone nor come. You know why? You like Nora.",4 6344,"Oh my God, good evening.",2 6345,Waddington?,2 6346,"Wendy, you can take a picture?",4 6347,Yeah. Yeah.,3 6348,Don Tokyo... You ever do that... in Japan? Wasabi!,0 6349,"I, yes. Follow me. I... been betrayed by my best friend.How could you do that, Ted? Think of the poor Tyler who tries valiantly to hold back tears. It's good my boy, you can cry.Weep!",0 6350,It wasn't me.,3 6351,Do you remember when you could smoke in bars?,0 6352,Way ahead of ya.,0 6353,"Hey, what are you doing here? Returns to the bar!",1 6354,Hmm...,1 6355,"Whoa, you guys went all out.",1 6356,"Oh, you're gonna wanna bring your A game.",1 6357,I say we just move on.,4 6358,I give you two: Clean and gentlemen Solcarlus.,0 6359,"OKAY, okay... I... look, look. I know you're mad. Happy Birthday (hands her a sock monkey) Three years ago.",1 6360,"Baby, come here.",2 6361,For starters (turns music on. Leaves to the kitchen),4 6362,"Well, we don't know what we are. I mean, my heart says "leap into it." My brain says "it's a bad idea."",4 6363,"I know what you said. I also know my best friend, Ted Mosby. Listen... for all time, all the years I have told you... "Slow! Not go too fast with this girl! "You've not heard a single f*cking time. Your heart is both drunk and child.",3 6364,Do you think she was flirting with me?,3 6365,"Robin, I love you!",0 6366,"I say what I see, and... I think until you're the most beautiful woman in the world.",3 6367,"Okay, I didn't do it.",4 6368,A few hours later...,2 6369,"No, I'm fine. It's just... This roll is really spicy.",3 6370,I do not like with you either.,4 6371,"Well, did I bring it? Or did I bring it?",4 6372,It's totally okay.,1 6373,"Article 53: "A bro will, whenever possible, provide his bro with protection."",3 6374,You are so playful.,3 6375,"Bislon, saving your...",0 6376,Why'd you wait so long to contact me?,3 6377,lame.,0 6378,No one? Do I understand that there is not one fan of soap in this elevator?,2 6379,Vermont?,3 6380,Where at?,1 6381,What next?,1 6382,I'm sorry! I couldn't take it anymore.,3 6383,"Baby,please... -no!",3 6384,I have a secret. No! It has not happened. It happened something.,2 6385,So?,2 6386,"You're finally gonna watch "Goonies AGAIN? Slow love, Chuck".",3 6387,"Wait, hot-crazy scale?",4 6388,"Barney, don't, okay.",4 6389,"Oh, does she know that one song? Mm-hm chaka, mm-hm chaka. What's that song called? Oh, right, it's called every reggae song.",0 6390,"How he's always like, "Oh, I want to fall in love and have a relationship. I care about the people I have sex with." He's so lame.",0 6391,"Yes, yes! Juice is perfectly harmless. In fact, it's healthy.",1 6392,"Well, you know what? If you're trying to freak me out about spending Thanksgiving...",0 6393,It's pouring. You come up.,4 6394,We're a happy family.,0 6395,Yeah. Actually... You know where I've been meaning to visit?,0 6396,"No. Look, I gotta go. They're gonna think I inherited my dad's imaginary bathroom issues.",1 6397,What? No.We had sex yesterday.,0 6398,"Funny story, Barney was grinding with this girl all night...",1 6399,I know it.,1 6400,And Kyle and I are doing anything serious. It was only the blue line.,4 6401,Must be tough.,1 6402,"I have not worked as hard to finish in a crappy job. Get me wrong, Lily.",1 6403,"Wait, wait, wait, wait. why would you be mad... you started it?",1 6404,"My friends are goanna love you-like you-you know, as a friend. (Robin giggles) Jackass.",1 6405,"I still could not sleep, so I watched Lethal w*apon 2. And then 3. And in the middle of Lethal w*apon 4, I realized...",1 6406,"I can be a bit watered down dialogue, whatever...",3 6407,Were there slippers for the morning?,4 6408,And.. why should I "make me" one of you?,1 6409,This is our journal.,2 6410,"These girls have ruined so many things, or you forget Paris.",2 6411,"Oh, I'm no hero, Wendy. You know who is a hero? My Dalmatian, Smokey. He... didn't... make it out. I'm sorry.",0 6412,"It happened, and it changed me. How about daiquiris?",4 6413,It was... fine. Nothing exciting. How was yours?,4 6414,Yeah. We need to get them up and having fun.,2 6415,The show was zero.,2 6416,"How do you do this, Ted? How do you sit out here all night on the roof in the cold and still have faith your pumpkin's gonna show up.",4 6417,I control. I can remove it whenever I want.,3 6418,"on my suggestion, you... (Barney looks at a girl)",3 6419,Ten-pound? Eight-pound?,3 6420,"Uh, sure. Why not?",4 6421,"Oh, yeah... Bjorney.",3 6422,"Robin, I just want you to know, it's either this story you're telling me or another game of Clue against myself, so make it good.",3 6423,(Subtitle) Is that near Westchester?,1 6424,I thought Focus was closed.,2 6425,"It's crazy. Yeah, I understand. I was just, uh, checking out the old bookshelf here. I see you've read 'The Power of Me'. It's funny...",1 6426,"We need to talk. I just think, um, we both could use some space right now. It's not you, it's me. I know this hurts but you deserve someone better. I'm just really trying to focus on my career right now, you know. I just hope we can still be friends.",4 6427,"No, it's time. Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do but if it's out there, there's no point in trying to hide it anymore. Let's just watch it and be done with it.",4 6428,I doubt it.,1 6429,What?,1 6430,"You have to do, okay? A great guy like Don, it's rare.And speaking of rare, first one side, do not forget. Thank you.",3 6431,"I mean, uhm... Well, I... I realize that we haven't really discussed whether us getting back together means us getting married, but... I still wanna. Do you still wanna?",2 6432,"He had eaten my fruit bowl. The fact is that Karen is a dirty pervert, you can not bring into our lives.",2 6433,"Sorry, I only give high twos.",0 6434,Great! What am I going to do when Robin shows up. (Silence) She'll show up.,1 6435,Do not say that.,4 6436,"It was an amazing safari. I can't wait to show you guys the slides!

     

Gumballs 25 cents


F.D. » Transcripts » TV & Movie Transcripts » H » How I Met Your Mother



singing...) *sh*t through the heart And you're to blame, darling*",4 6478,"Just take a look, will ya? Okay, corner office. Top floor. Check out that guy. Name's Clark Butterfield. He works over at Nicholson, Hewitt and West and every morning, he orders a sandwich from the deli downstairs.",0 6479,Owl. How do we go? We will do what? Jump?,0 6480,Mama's done with this drama. What drink can fix the headache these clowns are giving me?,2 6481,Yes. Even the side where you route the East Village naked.,2 6482,That's exactly what they would do in this series.,3 6483,"Well, if you love that blender so much, why don't you just marry it.",3 6484,The worst moment came in my 14 years. My junior hockey team had just won the "Squamish Invitational." And everybody came to my house to celebrate.,4 6485,We must bring back Amanda.,2 6486,"Yeah. Dude, that was awesome, but how are you ever going to top that?",3 6487,Not as much. Not as much.,3 6488,But...but you're the guy...oh.,2 6489,"Marshall, I came here because I was cold and it was the only place that was open. I would not even look at Mr. Park in the eye. And then I discovered that... Mr. Park's death. He really died for me. And if I feel so bad to have never forgiven Mr. Park, a guy who literally did not mean anything to me? We have to get my father.",2 6490,"Dammit, Trudy, what about the pineapple? Sorry.",3 6491,Best...,4 6492,"Watching my mother to marry, I realized how I was late in relation to it on my life. I'm just going to leave here. So I walked into my hotel room and I went on a website where I go sometimes when I have trouble sleeping.",1 6493,"I don't know. There's nothing girly about a horse, nothing girly about a horn, but put them together and you get a unicorn.",1 6494,How did it go with Dale?,2 6495,"All right, first of all... there's nothing lame about brining a Turturkeykey, copyright pending. And secondly, I don't believe "The Curse of The Blitz" is real. (gasps)",1 6496,I gotta go.,1 6497,It's an elaborate costume.,3 6498,"When he got up, the forms were more revealing, you should go out with him.",2 6499,"Oh, yes. Ted, you rock.",4 6500,"Okay, I was... I was having second thoughts. But I'm not any more. I... I mean, this flat tire was a sign. I'm not supposed to do this. I'm supposed to go home and-and be with Marshall. You must think I'm so stupid.",2 6501,"Marshall, he's gay!",2 6502,"And then I was all, "No, Frank Gehry, you're on your own this time." And that, my dear, was the end of that hack's career.",1 6503,Nothing.,1 6504,Great. And... go. Taxi!,1 6505,Yeah! I knew it.,0 6506,But you see my point.,2 6507,"Me too. Yeah. But you know, life goes darling.",3 6508,"Marshall, you're in the field!",0 6509,Yes. First thing tomorrow.,1 6510,"Forbid? Who said forbid? I was just reminding you that there's this wedding coming up in a couple of months, and I was kind of hoping you'd save the day. Look for me... I'll be the guy in the awesome suit. Come on, Lily. It's what you've always wanted.",3 6511,"In commemoration, at the entrance to the Barney legend, this tie, worn during his seventh night of her flawless, freshly removed.",2 6512,...Barney?,1 6513,""Making an autoresponder message to two annoying."Done. It will probably cost me a few appointments, but it's okay.",0 6514,"Really? I'm getting mixed signals from you. I feel like you've been staring at my ass for quite some time. What, you're married?",1 6515,And you Robin? You leave it in play? Where is your book of Roles?,3 6516,"Lily, why is that force him to face a problem that can not adjust will help?",1 6517,You say...,4 6518,That guy...,0 6519,"So, my 9.6, beautiful, charming, intelligent, engaged.",1 6520,And there it was.,0 6521,I'm starting to cry.,4 6522,Short version. Who's your daddy?,0 6523,It is Jenkins.,3 6524,remote!,3 6525,"... and the president's economic team hopes to have a proposal before Congress by the end of the month. All of us at News 10, have a great evening. So, good night, New York.And that the road ahead is illuminated in dreams and tomorrows. Which are lit with dreams... also.",4 6526,"Unfinished. Gaudi, to his credit, never gave up on his dream, but that's not usually how it goes. I mean, usually, it isn't a speeding bus that keeps the brown, pointy, weird church from getting built. Most of the time, it's just too difficult or too expensive, or too scary. It's only once you've stopped that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it. But it's always there. And until you finish it, it will always be...",1 6527,Just shoes and a shirt. That's a look.,2 6528,"Yeah, like, a billion years ago.",4 6529,I will get my problem.,1 6530,Amateurs.,0 6531,"You may be able to talk the brain surgeons you pick up into doing whatever you want, but it's not gonna work on us.",2 6532,"Hm, (putting up left hand) Victoria's Secret models prancing around in bras and panties, or (putting up right hand) Yale preppies reuniting their stupid a capella group. What's that left hand? Right hand sucks? Word.",0 6533,You lied and said you were broken up with Victoria before you actually were so you could try to nail Robin and you wound up losing both girls in one night?,0 6534,"It's really nice! You're right, Marshall. I have to go retrieve it.And I know exactly where it is.",1 6535,"Well, there's a citizenship test tomorrow.",4 6536,Oh my God!,3 6537,What?,2 6538,This is the life.,3 6539,"No. It's just that this is a big deal for you. I mean, it's like your virginity: the sequel. (She laughs)",1 6540,--HAD OTHER PLANS. I MEAN LATELY...,1 6541,"Uh, Lily's phone.",1 6542,"Yeah, and say what? What's our big opening line?",1 6543,"Tried?! Lily, do you have any idea how many people I've blindly hated for you? I hated Renée Zellweger with a burning passion for eight years, only to discover you meant Reese Witherspoon!",1 6544,"Get it together, bro.",4 6545,"Oh, Lily, I'm sorry. Hey, you want to see a magic trick?",0 6546,Congratulation for us all.,0 6547,"This is great. My dream of becoming an artist is dead, and now I'm watching my wardrobe disappear piece by piece. There goes my favorite dress. This dress meant a lot to me.",2 6548,What's new?,3 6549,"Hey, you really think Lily's pissed?",1 6550,"Main Lobster. They spelled "Maine" without the "e." Good to know we're not getting the crappy understudy lobsters, right? Tonight, the role of pound-and-a-half lobster will be played by...",1 6551,But you can see.,3 6552,"Come on, it's not that bad. We're really starting to click with these guys. Claire and Austin just invited us to their fondue fest next Saturday night.",2 6553,Hey.,4 6554,"What? No, don't go! You want to see a magic trick?!",0 6555,"Fine, I won't tell Barney. What is it?",1 6556,You know what his real last words were?,0 6557,I can't stop thinking about you. Please give me another chance.,0 6558,What? No.,1 6559,Oh yeah? I'm the New York state gaming commissioner.,0 6560,McLaren's pub.,0 6561,"Oh no, the night's ruined!",0 6562,"I do not lie! We made love, I have pictures!",0 6563,"You're bigger".,4 6564,Wooo! ("My career and my love life going nowhere!"),1 6565,"They're trying to make me one of them, Diary.",4 6566,Sorry. Congratulations.,1 6567,"And so, due to one architectural oversight, the Toledo Bridge Disaster of 1906 claimed the lives of 75 people. Now, I hate to stop while I'm on a roll, but happy Halloween, ya crazies!",1 6568,So I grew up in Park Slope.,2 6569,He's still sound asleep.,2 6570,What? I knew exactly what he was going to say. I was just helping him get there faster.,4 6571,"I know, it was hilarious.",0 6572,Go back in your little head it.,3 6573,"I don't know what I'm going to use this for, but it's great stuff.",3 6574,He wore no black cap. It is wearing nothing at all.,3 6575,I am the master of possimpossible.,0 6576,"Hi, Becky. My, you're perky.",4 6577,Wait. Dad! James! Where are you going? That's the best part. Can we go camping?,0 6578,"Looks like you're not income from a lease, a guy called "Big caramel" you're passed.",1 6579,I'll see you on the other side.,1 6580,Great. Amazing. This is so much fun. Me and the girl are really cliking.,3 6581,It's... I can't explain it.,1 6582,I see it. I see it. (Robin enters) What is it good?,1 6583,"Yeah, I don't know about "revertigo."",1 6584,"There was that one time we thought we had a break in the case, remember?",1 6585,"I can't believe he's cheating on me. You know how many times I could have cheated? Six... no seven. And you know two of them, and they would surprise you.",4 6586,You see nothing. Typical of a guy. She was obviously devastated.,3 6587,"Calm down. Your husband is here. Trying to hide it, at least.",0 6588,"So, those new Star Wars movies... Those are better than the old ones?",1 6589,Robots vs. Wrestlers?,3 6590,Thanks.,0 6591,Mom!,0 6592,So what do you think? 9:30 or 10 o'clock? (They both hang up),0 6593,"Look, it just, it just means that-that we need money right now and I'm not sure that selling your paintings is-is how we're going to get it.",3 6594,We love scotch. It is awesome.,0 6595,Maybe we should each take some time to think about what we want. We'll meet up tomorrow to discuss it.,1 6596,Nice.,0 6597,"Sure, why not?",4 6598,"So, Lily, what do you say? Do you want the job?",1 6599,"Oh, yeah, and remember what happened with us and the gerards across the hall?",3 6600,"Hell, yeah.",2 6601,"We... We redecorated my place. We stayed in on a friday night to watch "Letterman", and then slept together and didn't have sex? Oh my God! We're in a relationship!",0 6602,"I don't know, Barney, he worked a triple, it just...",3 6603,Pecan pie? Why are we making that?,1 6604,This is obvious. Barney eats too much because he hates to lose his freedom. Robin and stress because she hates what has become Barney.,1 6605,Bill's bachelor party in Memphis.,0 6606,Canceling out Barney.,0 6607,Thou hast broken my heart.,0 6608,This is my look "you're dead to me.",3 6609,"Oh, no. (He makes a phone call) It's Barney. Help me.",0 6610,Pause.,2 6611,Right. Okay.,1 6612,But not for us?,3 6613,He has a lot of keys.,3 6614,Hey! How was your first day?,2 6615,What happened? I saw it!,0 6616,All right. Wish me luck.,1 6617,We should totally have them at our wedding.,2 6618,What?,3 6619,"Guys, guys, guys, check this out. Ted Mosby p*rn star's bio says his hometown is your hometown. Shaker Heights, Ohio.",4 6620,"Your mom's a slut, and I'm sorry, Barney, but you and your brother clearly have different fathers, And you know why? It's probably because your mom is a slutty slut!",3 6621,Please. I'll get the yes. Barney Stinson always gets the yes.,0 6622,Gary Anderson. He is retired. It was a case of fly fishing... in Canada.,3 6623,The flute section does she see anyone?,0 6624,"Please, calm down. You swallow too much air.",3 6625,Did you know there's a pop tart under your fridge?,2 6626,What are you going to wear?,1 6627,"So whenever you go out with someone for a while, I take the test of the porch. How that person will fit over the years?And when I think of Karen...",2 6628,"I had to. We were growing apart, and we're better off without each other.",2 6629,OK.,1 6630,That beer looks a little flat.,1 6631,"Seriously, it's over.",3 6632,Yeah.,3 6633,Why? She sounds perfect.,3 6634,Nobody's gonna do that.,4 6635,"OK, what do you say that. You know that someday in the future, machines will rebel?",3 6636,"Yeah, I'll sell my paintings. Good oil paintings go for like, $500.",2 6637,This is ridiculous.,2 6638,"So, let's raise our glasses of scotch at $ 2 500 for a year of hell.",1 6639,"Oh, I woke up and I smoke. Robin, you know how it's dangerous to wake a smoker sleeps.",0 6640,Me?,1 6641,"Hold on, Jimbo, it is extraordinary.",0 6642,"(in the phone) Pitt, Barney Stinson!",0 6643,"I'm on it. This lift uses the same mechanism from its installation in 1906. It seems that Lamar Louis Skolnick, the architect of the building, has cut the panels himself.",1 6644,Too! Tell him we slowly drag our... What do we do?,0 6645,"Come on, Ellen, I mean, a pint of ice cream isn't that a bit cliché?",1 6646,"Oh my God, that does describe a vampire, or you know, a bartender.",4 6647,"That's what I thought, too. Then I got this e-mail from Butterfield.",0 6648,"Thanks, man.",3 6649,But you can see the exit sign.,3 6650,You've been treating me with kid gloves ever since my dad died.,3 6651,What game?,4 6652,I do not know. Sometimes you just let his ego aside.,3 6653,Finish me!,1 6654,"(from her room) Nice job, Ted.",4 6655,Really? It's three months away.,4 6656,That was why? The sandals? Hair products?,1 6657,Uh...,0 6658,Okay. "I would have stolen you a whole orchestra." There. What's the rush?,1 6659,It's weird.,4 6660,"I do not bite my nails, I try to suck the rest of nicotine on my fingers.",0 6661,"Backgammon, obviously.",4 6662,You've always been so beautiful? You're going out on "In high school I was super shy and I in my skin"?,1 6663,We are so gonna win the costume contest this year.,2 6664,"Baby, if this is what you need to do, we'll figure it out. How's Barney handling you leaving?",2 6665,"Oh but we're not even like going out for dinner, we're just hanging out at his place.",4 6666,I'm not sure.,1 6667,The Russian beer? I will take a bierofski. Bierofski. Got it?,4 6668,"Yeah, a stroke of genius. This speech is really good.",1 6669,"You guys need to get out of here right now. Please, take the fire escape.",1 6670,"Oh yeah, how long did it take for you to tell Marshall my biggest secret in the world?",4 6671,"Yeah, well, well, not literally because, you know, I'm keeping my name.",2 6672,I can't sleep with her again. She hates me.,0 6673,"Oh, that's not a tattoo. That, dear boy, is a tramp stamp.",0 6674,You couldn't find it?,4 6675,You have brought back an old turkey replacement.Why I have not listened to the message of former mayor Ed Koch saying not to forget my business.,3 6676,"Lily, listen to me. I had a plan, right? A woman, a house, children, and it turned out that the universe is really shit to what is the wife and children. So what is the thing I can control? The house I bought. It's not a huge mistake.",1 6677,"No problem, you just described your mother.",2 6678,"Hey, Rob. What are you gonna make? A turkey?",2 6679,Answer it!,2 6680,"Uh, yeah, you did, and you're welcome.",1 6681,"Yes. You got the job yet. Must push the door, not pull.And that's it. Thank you for having watched yesterday. Maybe I was wrong. She seems to have been able to manage with Barney. It will perhaps manage New York.",1 6682,"There she is. Hey is it cold in here, because I can kind of see Robin's nickels? Now for your next challenge...",0 6683,Yeah. I never got to go to my prom. We always had field hockey nationals in the spring.,4 6684,"Oh, please. How's it's going to come out? "Uh, pass me a towel. P.S., I have sex for money."",0 6685,What?,4 6686,"4:56, 4:57, 4:58.",0 6687,Stella?,2 6688,See you.,3 6689,I'm bored. Come and dance. Come fly a liquor store!,2 6690,"We had this debate, and this is the sock that makes you make the decision?",4 6691,Hey.What's with the blackboard?,4 6692,"Well, there you got wrong.",3 6693,"Hey, so it's a pocket dial. You have so many great memories with your dad. Who cares about the last one?",2 6694,Robin canceled his hot date.,3 6695,Derek?! Derek.,4 6696,"For all we know, that was the contractor's fault.",1 6697,Mmm. Sunshine.,0 6698,You are now.,1 6699,"What are the first ten amendments to the Constitution called?",0 6700,"That was "something, something, I am going to something you like a something donkey.",2 6701,"Enough with the... we'll go get pizza later, all right? Just...",1 6702,"How was your weekend, or any other topic?",4 6703,I'm not sure I like your tone. You know what? Now you just lost the ball.,2 6704,But your mom doesn't need you. Your life in New York needs you. It needs you really bad.,2 6705,I think we went to MacLaren's.,1 6706,We certainly do not talk about that!,3 6707,It's 8:00.,0 6708,Just the best.

(Marshall gets out of the car),3 6713,"It's fantastic. Thank you, Mr Cootes.",3 6714,"Marshall, just tell them what's going on.",2 6715,No way!,0 6716,"Hi, Barney's there?",3 6717,Sascha. (Points to Security Woman) She's having friends over for drinks at her house. It's goanna be legen... wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose intolerant 'cuz the second half of that word is... dairy.,0 6718,Turn drink.,3 6719,"The last time Stella had sex, The Da Vinci Code had just come out.",3 6720,(on Phone) I'm so sorry I missed your party.,4 6721,"Damn! Stop changing the subject. You have gone too far. You are complicit in breaking the heart of this poor guy.And you, you are best placed to know how it feels.",3 6722,I don't know. I'd expect you to have one already.,2 6723,"It's not bad. Also, for posterity, a statement drunk guy! I would not drink again.",3 6724,"You're talking nonsense. Now, listen... You slipped up. It's fine. The test is in a few hours.",0 6725,You just checked out Robin's ass.,0 6726,"I'm sorry. But for what it's worth, this week was not a waste of time. We all had a horrible week, and you have helped us change a little air.",3 6727,I hope not because I plan on getting hammered.,2 6728,"You're joking, right?",3 6729,"Nice try, buddy.",0 6730,Wow. This is so dirty.,0 6731,You okay?,4 6732,"I just wasn't looking for a big commitment at the time, of course now a big commitment doesn't seem so bad... maybe I should call her? What do you guys think?",1 6733,"The universe has spoken. Marshall Eriksen, make a baby.",2 6734,Should I just kick the door in?,4 6735,Hey! He is an expert. He's a great teacher!,0 6736,"Oh, really, Marshall? Nothing comes to mind?",0 6737,"Okay, what does Barney do at GNB?",2 6738,"Apparently, our sweet, innocent, little Robin led a lover. A young skinny named Mitch.",1 6739,"Justice, sir. You see, we are all born with certain incontrovertible rights, the most fundamentally paramount of which is the right... Wait, you can't be fundamentally paramount. One means highest, one means lowest.",1 6740,"Alright, man, tell her the truth. She's goanna cry.",3 6741,"Change your personality? That is so awful, and not at all motivational.",2 6742,"What are you doing in the men's room? What am I doing in the ladies' room? Oh right, I came in here 'cause I thought I was gonna throw up.",1 6743,Handling a police officer with your sausage. It's sexy.,4 6744,That's my private personal business!,0 6745,"It works, yeah.",1 6746,"What are you doing, Mitch?",1 6747,"Guys, guys, look!",3 6748,"That a b... Since time immemorial there has always been a professional edge to which girls g*n, like Tiffany, have flocked. I'll redo the story?",0 6749,I'll be right there.,0 6750,"Yeah, I'm also "oot. Okay, now I'm really out.",1 6751,It is not play "You know Ted.",1 6752,(looks around for sign of Lily) You have to swear that this does not leave this cab.,3 6753,"Look, I'm not proud, but Don left so quickly that I never got the chance to have that final showdown. So yelling at him, even on TV, felt kind of good. And you know what? Now I truly am over him.",4 6754,I'm fine.,4 6755,Binoculars. Second pair on my desk.,0 6756,"Ranjit, put her in park. Dudes, I'm sure party number five is awesome, but it's not the best party in New York. 'Cause this is, right here.",1 6757,You've ever watched?,4 6758,"Why are you like this? Anyway, this is serious. I know Lily and Marshall. All the tell tale signs are here. Like this",1 6759,And now... we wait.,1 6760,Playing laser tag really takes me back. You know what game I really miss? Battleship. I've never lost a game.,4 6761,"Um, sure, why not?",4 6762,"My God! Guys, guys! That's him! This is "The guy naked"!",1 6763,"I'm not freaking out because in my mind, she's fat.",4 6764,I thought about it.,4 6765,We need to talk.,4 6766,"Hey, it's me again.",1 6767,Another girl I dated. She gained twenty pounds and tried to k*ll me with a brick.,0 6768,To go home?,1 6769,"Do not do that, please.",3 6770,It would not bother me. Tony is great. Invite him too.,1 6771,"Hey, where are you?",2 6772,The best tradition of all time!,3 6773,"Look, Lily, I think this girl wants our seats. Should we leave... or stay here Lionel Richie style "All Night Long"?",4 6774,"Right, but, uh, we'll play that one by... (showing his ears)",3 6775,My mother.,3 6776,Oh! Thanks!,2 6777,"(On Phone) Not with a ring on your finger. I mean, you know, guys see the ring and it's like Cha-Chung! Marshall parking only.",3 6778,Shit. I read this entire book and I find no fault. What will I do?,0 6779,First we got to pick someone up at the airport.,0 6780,At a close-out sale at Dawes.,4 6781,"Magne! I will research how to wait. (Marshall back in the room) Sorry, there is a little late with the tables. But we'll begin in a moment. Fish are weird, right? I mean, what's their problem?",3 6782,And you get to keep the duffel bag.,3 6783,Who's Scooby?,3 6784,Yeah you were.,0 6785,"Oh, well, good for them. And, you know, if Ted likes her, she's probably pretty cool.",4 6786,Did one of your whores tell you that?,4 6787,Sure baby.,2 6788,... and it makes no sense...,0 6789,So you come back to Robin.,2 6790,"We have been looking forward to this magical, special night for two weeks now. And, sweetie, during that time, I have been... How do I put this delicately? Saving all my love for you.",3 6791,"Okay, would you freakin' marry me already?",2 6792,But if. I talked to full time. "Scooter canteen.",2 6793,Not this time.,1 6794,"Come on, Ted, this is an incredible opportunity. We'll meet our soulmates, nail 'em and never call them again. (chuckles)",0 6795,I got it a little bit.,4 6796,"Well, now it doesn't.",0 6797,"Honey, I never said you weren't a real painter.",3 6798,Which brings us to step 6. You finally realize you've made a huge mistake and now you have to live with it. Step 6 is called purg... wait for it. Keep waiting. Keep waiting for the eternity only to dicover there's no escap-atory.,0 6799,"Uh, well, their perimeter sh**ting has been a little bit off this season...",4 6800,Let me do it. I will plan everything.,1 6801,"God, you were just a kid. Well, look, let's just have a few drinks. We'll relax and...",1 6802,"I'm fine. Hey, Ted.",0 6803,Thanks.,3 6804,"So, moving from Canada, that transition must have been pretty "ruff."",1 6805,"Yeah, right.",4 6806,You really don't know Marshall at all.,2 6807,"Hey, you can't just kick me out! I put a lot of work into this place, and I've grown accustomed to a certain standard of living.",2 6808,"I know it's stupid, but... And the dragon. They are happy, you know?",4 6809,What is she doing for money through all this?,1 6810,"I mean, I like being single, but secretly, I want to have kids.",0 6811,No!,1 6812,"Yeah, I'm kind of real focused on the job hunt right now.",3 6813,That was five years ago. Now you can get prescription-level antihistamines over the counter. Oh snap. What else you got?,3 6814,"Come on, darling, kiss him.",0 6815,"Pancakes, fresh bacon. It is so yummy.",3 6816,What?,1 6817,"At first she seemed great, beautiful, smart, way out of your league. But then, I overheard this conversation.",0 6818,"There is a charge from earlier today. The Kellet Hotel, on Fifth. I don't believe this. Lily is back in New-York. (...) I can't believe this. Lily's in New-York? I guess I'd been thinking when she got back she's call me. That's the only reason I've been able to hold it together so far this summer.",3 6819,"Please, no.",4 6820,What?,2 6821,Mini pig... I do not wanna be with you. Ever.,2 6822,"Well, why do all those things?",0 6823,"I need a new bro, what do you say?",0 6824,"And when you're at a g*n n' Roses concert, you're like, "Yeah, yeah, Paradise City, whatever. When are they gonna rock me some Chinese Democracy"?",1 6825,I have a message from Barney.,4 6826,"Yeah, it's like that.",3 6827,Hi!,3 6828,"I'd call your ex a dog, but that would be an insult to little Ladybug here.",0 6829,"Oh, come on, Barney. It's for a good cause.",2 6830,"What? Wait, what? I thought your body would become a machine fueled by desire, greed and a hunger only to satisfy my every carnal desires.",0 6831,No.,1 6832,"Wow, you look incredible.",4 6833,Yes!,3 6834,"Sure. Sure. (Brad leaves) Even if you don't believe it, tell me he looks fat.",3 6835,"I have read 11 books on conception. I have cut out alcohol, caffeine and sugar. I take my temperature every hour. But good for you for not playing with yourself.",2 6836,What?,0 6837,Ah gosh.,3 6838,"Oh, yeah, I'm gonna take that flower grenade and chuck it into the crowd and scream, crawl for it, bitches. It's just what girls do.",2 6839,"Ah, tweed. Textile of the eunuch.",0 6840,"For now"? You got to the earnest Scooter? You must release your scooter hook.,3 6841,"Barney, I gotta tell you something.",1 6842,Are we having this fight again? Writing plays is a real job!,3 6843,"Dude, who doesn't.",3 6844,Why would Ted just give up the button like that? And he forgot his phone. "See you in an hour.",4 6845,I passed the bar!,3 6846,Did you show lily your design?,4 6847,"This next clip is entitled, "Guy Playing Bagpipes Gets Hit in the Nuts by Low-Flying Seagull"",0 6848,Yes. That's why I was all "you invited him to brunch?",1 6849,"Top Ten Robin Scherbatsky Facial Expressions and Their Meaning.",4 6850,"Man, this guy's so rude.",1 6851,"Number six. Yeah. Oh, God, I am a bad husband. No, uh, no, I'll just write, I'll write Lily a letter tonight, everything'll be fine.",3 6852,"Yeah, I'm very excited that they're here, too. But right now, I have to get excited about something else.",3 6853,"Lily, come on.",1 6854,Of course not.,0 6855,"It's not that I want to be a troublemaker. Fair, I must be one. I'll be a dad. You have children one day, you will understand.",3 6856,I wish I was the office slut.,4 6857,No no no no no no no. Give me this.,1 6858,It's nothing. Forget.,3 6859,Could we bring Ted?,2 6860,Why are you brown taxi driver?,3 6861,I don't think you're stupid.,1 6862,"In honor of the 32nd anniversary of Lily, I expected a lot of great games, beginning with... "Lil-ial Pursuit." Who has the number 1?",3 6863,"Hey, Doug.",4 6864,"Oh, my God. That's it, and that's it, the style Ohio. The problem manifested itself. It has been avoided. It is a party.Here you can dine in peace...",1 6865,"We prefer Local Area Media Award. Um... there's going to be this big banquet. I know these things aren't much fun, but it would really mean a lot to me if you guys came. And there's an open bar.",4 6866,"Yeah, Barney sees girls, it could not be happier.",3 6867,Pies. They're things that friends make together.,1 6868,"Ted, you can not go on like this where you will make your life. It does not work like that.",2 6869,The main character is a young spoiled prince thrust into leadership after the death of his father. It's obviously a modern-day retelling of Henry IV!,1 6870,I don't know.,4 6871,This idea of being a guide is to procrastinate the fact of calling customers.,4 6872,What?,1 6873,I don't have to take this. But I do have to take this.,4 6874,I wonder if this will be a disaster. And if it was the worst of all marriage?,0 6875,"Not great, it does not matter that Arthur Hobes not like Marshall, he loves no one. It is the people he knows that he has to separate. He just fired, "What's his head? ".",0 6876,Because now... you're in.,0 6877,I think I love you.,4 6878,"Uh... no. (laughs) The only good thing about how ugly that shirt is, is that it distracts from how terribly it fits you.",4 6879,"Attractive, college-educated, she wants two kids-- a boy and a girl...",1 6880,Jen Coulin!,2 6881,"Man, those Gazzola trips, that's... that's when we really became bros.",3 6882,"The only court where you show up, then get served.",0 6883,Yeah. Yeah. How you doing?,3 6884,Huh? Huh? Who's got your back? Now let's have dinner!,2 6885,Is this gonna work?,4 6886,What? That's... What is that word you taught me? "Bull" something?,0 6887,"Come on, stand New York.",4 6888,Goodbye Barney. (He hangs up),1 6889,Shea...Shea is just...,3 6890,"She was the wife of Archie in All in the family, or the same voice?",0 6891,"Girls, stop!",1 6892,"Well, makes sense.",4 6893,"Ladies, gentlemen... Ted. This has been a wonderful evening. I got great dirt on all you guys. I got Ted to tell the re-return. I finally nailed Shannon! Told her I'd call her tomorrow. Yeah, right. And I rediscovered just how awesomely awesome my life is. Peace out, hombres!",0 6894,"Really, guys? At a funeral?",4 6895,"Well, um, I better get back to these styrofoam trees.",1 6896,Do you think the others can tell we're freaking out?,3 6897,"I guess I have time for a drink and 45 minutes to an hour for other activities, but after that, I must return to the top secret research project I'm working on.",0 6898,"Oh, damn it, it really hurts. I need like, some ointment or something. What is this? Spanish massage oil. Spanish massage oil? What happened here last night?",1 6899,"As a matter of fact, no, there isn't.",1 6900,waouh. I've got to hand it to Wendy the waitress that was very mature of her.,1 6901,"Yeah, I'll be there, absolutely.",0 6902,I totally could have taken that kid.,3 6903,"No! Stop! Stop! Eye contact. Listen to me. Robin Scherbatsky is many things: friend, confidant, occasional guest star in some confusing dreams that remind me a woman's sexuality is a moving target. But she is no crazy, jealous stalker-bitch. (snatching the briefcase) Let go.",2 6904,"I am. Earlier today, I burst into tears...",2 6905,"I-I recently started giving, and it felt surprisingly good. I want to do more.",0 6906,"I will not be a presenter at Channel 10, right?",4 6907,Are you kidding me?,4 6908,"Barney, I'm fine! It is not necessary, and it is rather unhealthy. Sorry, ladies.",1 6909,"Or, actually, Robin, why don't you go to the florist? And, Ted, I could use your keen architectural eye on... on the invitations.",2 6910,And it was the best thing in my life 3.,0 6911,"I think so. Good job, Barney.",2 6912,What?,2 6913,"Uh, these were supposed to be for a romantic dinner on our balcony as we were serenaded by the sounds of the ocean. But I guess we'll have to settle for what sounded like two very large men having sex next door... with a third very small man.",1 6914,"Hey, I'm trying to open up to you...",0 6915,"Marshall, remember this night. When you're the best man at our wedding and you give a speech, you're goanna tell this story. (exits cab)",1 6916,An agreement of honor!,4 6917,"Marshall, I'm going to get you an early wedding present. Don't get married.",0 6918,"Barney, you tried, I think that's great, but we're going.",3 6919,"Really? Like, anchor anchor? What happened to Sandy? OK, OK, sure, what time do you need me to...Right now! Oh.",4 6920,"No, baby. Baby, you go with them and I'll meet you at, at... party number three.",2 6921,Kyle?,0 6922,Blackjack?,1 6923,I hope not.,2 6924,"Barney. What, you're back?",1 6925,It's not for sale! My clothes are not for sale!,2 6926,"When I moved to the States, I swore to myself, I wasn't going to change. And yet, here I am, in the most Canadian place in the universe- Tim Horton's- around the corner from the Hockey Hall of Fame, and I don't belong. It's like I don't have a country.",4 6927,"And the flag was b*rned. Why new? And there are letters from you all, with "Ted" written on it. You prepare a response for me?",1 6928,"Uh, let's see. Uh, first, I took the subway to school, and I got a bagel. Then I went to the library and found out Robin was never married. Crazy. And then I was hungry again so I went down to the vending machine...",3 6929,"Yeah, I'm sorry, but unless I see Barney at the same time, I... I'll never be sure that Dr. Stangel isn't him.",2 6930,Good night!,2 6931,"I have the ninja report right here. But Arthur, in the future, if you want someone to do their best work, try to motivate them, not with fear and intimidation, but through encouragement, inspiration and respect.",2 6932,Oh! Sweet Lord.,3 6933,Not really.,1 6934,It looks like your storm-merdeur the changes we need.,4 6935,Barney?,1 6936,I can jump as far.,3 6937,"Sugar Bear, where were you?",0 6938,That's my little angels. You are luminous beings of light.,2 6939,"Robin, this is the biggest celebrity event of the year. In taking a girl at the ball, man, you reached third base. Whatever the girl I invite, it will be the steady girlfriend of Ted Mosby by the end of the evening. Ok, we stop to sit between two chairs. Robin, bring me my notebook. It's time to make lists of pros and cons.",1 6940,"And later at the bar, you tell your good friend Robin the story of your latest conquest, and she thinks to herself, "who is this sad, self-loathing idiot who climbed into bed with Barney Stinson?"",4 6941,It's the guys the most virile of the universe?,2 6942,"How many stars are on the flag?",0 6943,And if you and I are such good friends... why is baking a pie for Bob so weird?,4 6944,What are you doing?,1 6945,"Ted, think of the stories I've told.",3 6946,Doggie ate his pants. Yep.,2 6947,Punchy!,1 6948,"Look, Lil, we're all tolerating this prolonged nervous breakdown you're clearly having, with the punk band and the beekeeping and the petty larceny, but this is my career you're messing with.",1 6949,A rainbow! That's beautiful! What a beautiful rainbow! Another rainbow? It's beautiful!,2 6950,"Yes I do. For all I know, that guy's my soul-mate.",4 6951,"All right, we got to fix this.

"You are so beautiful. "Why can't you see me? "Someday, I'll make you see me "and we'll be together. "P.S. I love you. "P.S. I love you. P.S. I love you. "P.S. I love you. "P.S. I love you. P.S. I love you.",4 6982,"A bassinet? Oh, my... He must've made it in his wood shop. Wasn't that sweet of him? Lil? Isn't that sweet? Lily?",3 6983,I know Paul Schaffer's sandwich guy. This could happen.,3 6984,So you really don't believe in the cockamouse?,3 6985,"So he's not a snob. He's from a different part of Canada, you know? The maple leaf flag on the back of the pickup truck? He's Red Province. He's from the Deep North.",4 6986,You are so in denial right now. And you're doing what you always do in relationships.,2 6987,"Uh, I'm going to go to the bathroom now, but, uh, when I come back we'll go to my place and have sex.",0 6988,""Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair""",1 6989,"Oh, we've got the big LPC meeting in two days. I have my whole presentation worked out. I just need to find a good rhyme to end on.",3 6990,"Well, it would be. Good-bye. Eriksen residence, Marshall speaking.",3 6991,"(Subtitle) You really like this place? (Kelly nods. Subtitle) You have no idea what I'm saying, do you? I'm from outer space! I got thrown out of Sea World for humping a dolphin! (Music stops. Ted yells) I'M WETTING MY PANTS. (Everyone stares at him. Music begins again)",1 6992,All-Nighter?,4 6993,"All right, all right, hold on, hold on! Let's just forget about it. Who cares? I mean, there's no way to find out who's right anyway. First person there wins! (Everyone stand up et run outside)Doesn't matter how you get there!",1 6994,"Nice try Robin. So, the next thing Lily did was give Marshall a few hours to cool off about the peanut butter. Then she called him to apologize, which is why the last number dialed is... (Ted take the phone and see the last number)",1 6995,Totally.,3 6996,"Marshall, 4 of 5 dentists have just vomited on.",1 6997,Lily?,4 6998,"I think I left something on the bookshelf. Whoops. Oh, no, oh, look (he shows her his p*rn) Oh, I'm disgusting.",0 6999,Already?,4 7000,I thought it was a Mr. Miyagi kind of thing.,0 7001,You can not come to the wedding.,1 7002,(Imitates a rewinding tape) a date tonight? (smiles),4 7003,"... that Murtaugh kept repeating: "I'm too old for this stuff," but every time he says, he changes his mind, made another movie, and stuff. What I'm trying to say is that... the toilet, age.Will cover the PQ laser tag.",1 7004,"Oh, Lily, it's not as bad as it sounds. Bob and I aren't that serious, and what happened last night with Ted was a fluke.",4 7005,"Can you believe that?! I can't be unemployed, Robin! My job is my identity; It's who I am. It gives me the confidence I need to convince girls I'm a fighter pilot.",0 7006,And yet this is not the worst. Do you saw My Penis grants wishes?,3 7007,"Ha ha ha ha. Look, are we going or not?",1 7008,You've gotta hear this.,4 7009,I have not called yet.,4 7010,"All right, Ted, if you're about to go for the belt, then the bylaws require me to ask the following questions. One, is the aggregate age of all the participants under 83?",0 7011,"Marshall, I'm going home.",2 7012,Kiss.,1 7013,It's not.,2 7014,"Man, what are we going to do without her?",4 7015,She's leaving tomorrow.,1 7016,Last glass.,0 7017,According to the film...,1 7018,"It's you Lisa? Sarah, wait. Listen. I'm Neil Armstrong.Sorry I lied.",0 7019,"Wait... You do not want Amanda on the picture, right?",1 7020,"Ted Why send text messages to a girl he barely knows, where he says he dreams about me gay?",3 7021,"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. What could be wrong? Except that when you die, I'm gonna find out that your parting words to comfort me for all eternity were "Cancel Vogue".",3 7022,"When Robin's PMS-ing, what kind of chocolate should you get her?",1 7023,Hi.,2 7024,"I will not in this table. Possibly, in this one.",0 7025,"Please, shut up.",4 7026,"Oh, my God. Barney's dad.",4 7027,"Theodore Evelyn Mosby. Of course I gave him. I gave him my word. It is concrete. For cons, I made a few alterations.",0 7028,"(On Phone) Ouff, yeah... I bet she gets that a lot.",3 7029,A little? Completely. The poor showed up at our wedding hope you recover.,3 7030,"Marshall's mom hasn't eaten, slept or sat down since we got here. Wait! That can be my role! I'll take care of Judy!",2 7031,How could you possibly know that?,3 7032,"Hey. Before you say anything, I am done with this stupid Robin 101, okay? Here, I'll get rid of the notebook. (he throws it on the barrel) But there's... there's something that I did want to say to you. Robin, I have been with a lot of women, blondes, brunettes, redheads, big boobs, small",0 7033,"Hey, check the porch, huh? Go. I will put a gate there.Every Sunday here, it'll be a huge party sausage.",1 7034,It teaches kids... I can eat a lot of hot dogs very quickly.,2 7035,Do not underestimate. You're a rock star of slaps. Your name should be Eric Baffe-PTON.,4 7036,I don't want to talk about it.,4 7037,We should go.,1 7038,Colocs.,1 7039,"Kids, out of my way! Sorry. Coming through. Excuse me. Coming through.

All gone.,4 7044,"where four year old, Leroy Ellensburg, climbed inside a grab a prize machine (You see child stuck in toy machine) and gotten stuck.",4 7045,Sorry. It's a rich area.,0 7046,"What...? So that's it? A couple of white Urkels offer you sausages, and you're gone? What about the sisterhood? Solidarity? The color purple?",4 7047,"Yes. For example, everyone, how many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb? "What? No, the bulb is dead? I'm afraid! "",3 7048,Weird day.,4 7049,What do I do?,0 7050,"Look, Jen, I wish I could go back and talk some sense into 2002 Ted, but that guy's a lost cause. He's 24. He thinks a little facial hair makes him look like John Depp. And he has no idea what a great girl he's missing out on. But I've learned a lot since then. I've learned a lot tonight.",1 7051,"A cougar. An older woman, usually in her 40s or 50s, single and on the prowl for a younger man.",0 7052,"My God. This burger is so good. It's like Christmas in my mouth, meat Christmas.",2 7053,You're right. I'm sorry. We were fighting to see who gets the apartment. And I won.,3 7054,Lily is asleep. I suppose I could reschedule my pedicure. What the hell? But only light beer because we have a couple hike in the morning.,3 7055,Daddy's home?,1 7056,Bizarre. Holly sent a message to Ted talking about a meal Generro. A second. Band of bastards!,4 7057,10 minutes?,1 7058,He really is growing at a time.,2 7059,Maybe I did oversell you a bit.,4 7060,What do you mean "could"?,2 7061,"So, what happened next?",1 7062,"Wow, Mario's bistro. What a perfect place to whore around.",2 7063,"Lily, I have to! (He stands on the edge of the roof) It's useless to procrastinate.",3 7064,"Really?! It's great, I love this stuff. Guys why this kid staring at me? I understand, I think it happens at last. I recognized my show.",4 7065,"Oh, congratulations, Lily. Marshall, you're getting married? What the hell?",0 7066,Oh really? Prove it. Go talk to him.,2 7067,It was the perfect girl next door.,3 7068,"We've only been dating two months. Oh, it's not fair. It's not fair that we have to break up. I hate this.",1 7069,What do you mean "no"?,0 7070,"Hi Nora, thank you for coming.",0 7071,"Ew! Ew! She lied to her husband? Uh-oh. So, what did you do?",2 7072,"Robin, you could not be more... What do you mean I missed my sh*t?",0 7073,I'll tell you what's the problem. You know how I was always the best single? Now I'm the best in relationship. Even better than you and Lily.,0 7074,Are you okay? You looked upset on the phone.,4 7075,We solved the mystery of the missing retainer.,1 7076,"(On Phone) No, we can't just... we're going home!",1 7077,"Ok, I confess! It all started a few weeks.",3 7078,You can't be serious.,4 7079,"So, what, we ready for tonight?",1 7080,"Oh, I'm sorry, I can't hear you with that corporate noose around your neck. And don't even try showing up to the drum circle this weekend.",3 7081,Tell us what?,3 7082,Saturday night?,4 7083,Yeah. Getting to stand next to me while I press the button. That is going to be legend... wait for it...dary adjacent. Legendary adjacent!,0 7084,No!,1 7085,"Great, huh?",1 7086,You're a jerk.,2 7087,"I know. I am so proud of these two. After all they've been through. In fact, that crazy road has led them all the way here to Atlantic City...",1 7088,(on Phone) Are you alright?,1 7089,Let's get out of here. Let's go somewhere else.,0 7090,Of course purifier. Or rather Gazeur. Gazeur!,2 7091,"Yeah, I know, the bangs were a mistake. Where's my stuff? Waitress: It's all in the back. We could wrap it up for you. You want it to go?",2 7092,"Look, I know this is turning into a bit of a disaster, but believe me, it's better than the alternative.",2 7093,What? What uh-oh?,1 7094,"Let them score easily. Now you're sitting. Great.Addison is not football. Do not sh**t! Unless you find it funny, in this case, have fun though. It was not a foul, referee?",3 7095,"All right, the beers are here.",1 7096,Oh!,4 7097,I love you...,2 7098,Go! Iliopsoas tendinitis. This is the name. This is the only name.,3 7099,"I assume you're talking about cooking, otherwise I would have other issues.",2 7100,"Okay, honestly, I've never thought about having a girl. I don't want to think about having a girl. Tara, Esther -- can you imagine being one of those girls' dads?",3 7101,"Look, you know, whatever anthropology you do at work is your business, but please don't act like that around here.",2 7102,We made too many interventions.,1 7103,"Does it, uh, look anything like a real rain dance?",1 7104,The most expensive beef in the world.,3 7105,I went very confident. I knew it was just me against two other girls.,4 7106,"I know, and if this woman was almost as sexy as mine, so I admit, but it is not the case.",3 7107,"Okay, Ted. The thermos.",0 7108,Fine.,1 7109,"Barney, I'm going to the airport. Sascha, thank you... and uh... tell your grandpa I'm sorry I walked in on him in the bathroom. (Leaves)",1 7110,"I've brought here because... I was sorry for you. And there, it looks like you're trying to steal my bar.",3 7111,Damn it. Why is there something so attractive about a bad boy... And girl?,2 7112,Wait a second. It says here that the class meets at 6:15 on Tuesday.,4 7113,Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?,2 7114,I just said.,0 7115,See? It's stuff like that. Why-why do you talk that way?,1 7116,He said he had found a tramp?,3 7117,It's my building.,1 7118,How are you feeling?,1 7119,"Um, can boys aim? 'Cause it seems to me like I'm taking a mop to that bathroom floor every two days.",2 7120,Sorry?,4 7121,"Well, moving past the horrifying image of your hair helmet clanging against the headboard, don't get involved with people I work with.",4 7122,You know a long time. He told the truth?,0 7123,"Um, not for me. Now it's just like we're friends. It's like we're brother and sister.",3 7124,Thank you explained that. I get confused easily.,2 7125,Leilani! What's your problem?,2 7126,Sorry. I know. I know.,0 7127,He ended up apologizing.,4 7128,"Everything he said was nice, but I am profoundly scared.",0 7129,"Ah... Happy birthday, Ted.",0 7130,20 minutes late on your first day? That's rough.,2 7131,12.,4 7132,"Okay, bye. She totally wants you to come.",3 7133,First heartbreak!,3 7134,Screw that. This ain't over.,1 7135,"Come on, guys, get a room.",1 7136,He is so not going home. I cannot believe you just told him that.,3 7137,Not possible. Your building is new. And I have one rule: New is always better.,0 7138,"Great, tell it to America. Five minutes.",4 7139,"No, forget it. You're such a jackass!",3 7140,"Yeah, yeah, tell him, tell him!",2 7141,"Deal. $5,000, okay, we can do that. Come on, everybody. Fork over your cash. Don't think. Just do it.",2 7142,"Yes, I realize it's raining, but, come on, it's 2021. We can make cell phones that project holograms, but a light drizzle shuts down a whole airport?",1 7143,"Ah, BFFs. Did you guys have sleepovers? Get mad at each other and wrestle, but then end up kissing in a tender embrace? Here, show us on Lily.",0 7144,"Oh. When Zoey booted us, it made me want to steal something of hers again. Apartment full of designer labels, and what do I grab? "Happy Turkey Day, Hannah. Love, Zoey." I wonder who Hannah is.",2 7145,"Yeah, marriage, man, unconditional love. You can wear what you want and you get laid.",3 7146,"Okay, you got some volume, now give me some content. Make it hurt.",0 7147,(On Phone) Why don't we go to MacLaren's?,1 7148,Bilson fired me.,1 7149,"Yup. "'You're like a Greek god, I moaned, as the..." I can't read that, baby.",2 7150,"Look, I may not see him a lot, but it doesn't matter. Observe.",1 7151,I want to ask the board at GNB to move the site for the new headquarters so we don't have to tear down a classic old building.,1 7152,"Really, you moved on?",4 7153,I think it's just realistic.,4 7154,"Well, it's been nice knowing you guys.",4 7155,Thanks Wendy. Of course we can.,0 7156,I barely slept.,0 7157,"All right. Do not do it. There are many exciting stories to cover in Canada. I just read it, the nephew of the mayor of Winnipeg went fishing on the ice and took a pole of 7 Kg Live from the worst place in the world, I'm Robin Scherbatsky.",0 7158,What are your credentials?!,0 7159,I can't. I married you. That's how we got the blender. What's wrong?,2 7160,There is not enough drinks in the world that I drop my scourge.,1 7161,The Barnacle.,1 7162,That sounds ridiculous.,3 7163,Why?,4 7164,I was unfairly punished because the wall belonged to the judge's church.,0 7165,Let's just go take a look at this place.,3 7166,Tony left you?,1 7167,Lily's there's a problem.,1 7168,"W-Wait, what do you mean you're going to Spain?",1 7169,That is so true.,0 7170,Robin has had the job of presenter.,2 7171,I think that's the reason that I pass out when I hear church bells.,3 7172,"I can not do it. I can not take that away from you, Ted.",4 7173,Oh I know what we do here. Tell me when it stops.,0 7174,Absolutely. I just have to go to the ladies room. I've got TB...tiny bladder. I'll meet you out front?,4 7175,"Maybe that door below, a black bra with lace.",0 7176,How do you not like Field of Dreams?!,1 7177,This is impossible. There's too many girls. How the hell am I gonna narrow this down?,0 7178,"Yes, okay, Ted. This bitch has proved some nice, but except for bitches, not the rule of bitches.",2 7179,I don't know but I cross-checked every record in Canada. There's no record of her ever being married.,3 7180,"I just had two rencards following. With two adorable girls, four cappuccinos and wait... (2 minutes later...) I do not know which was the best. Here are the girls: Jessica is a student in Rhode Island, she traveled around the world, speaks four languages and plays the piano. Claire and fought for the bill. So I do not know. It is torture. You see, the two girls have the potential to be really special. They both deserve a second round.",1 7181,Really? Sixteen no's. Really?,0 7182,Why hasn't she called yet?,1 7183,"Finally, you can abandon the quest for so-called sexy barmaid.",4 7184,"Hey, what's not for everyone?",1 7185,That's how I'm gonna use mine.,0 7186,I do not ask where he kept his w*apon.,0 7187,"Okay. In fact, you've dumped your loser of guy?",1 7188,Can you promise me that that's not gonna happen?,3 7189,"No, you guys go ahead. I'm going to find the veil. (He leaves)",0 7190,"Ted, I have to go. It's a company camping trip.",4 7191,"You just made the list, bitch.",2 7192,You can catch two fish with a hook.,3 7193,"Yes, not that one.",4 7194,Why are you here?,1 7195,"Oh, God. Okay. It's coming back to me. I, uh, I went into the Hoser Hut... And I met this women's curling team.",4 7196,"Ah, ah, very funny, Wendy. Now we know you watch p*rn. (She leaves) This Ted Mosby must be getting kind of famous.",1 7197,"Calm. Calm down. Seriously, what's the secret?",4 7198,Yes! Look at you. You suited in an unmistakably upward direction.,0 7199,We did not have sex.,4 7200,And only 60% of them are prisoners.,1 7201,"Sorry, I'm in a hurry. I go to before I go down first.",4 7202,"Damn it, Barney, you failed my test! You know, I- I try to root for you. Even as your ex-girlfriend, when you meet someone, I'm like, "Yeah, Barney, go get her!" But you know what? Just forget it. You're never gonna change. I'm done trying to help you.",4 7203,I've done everything to change their minds. But they did not budge. I'm sorry.,0 7204,"Oh, honey.",3 7205,Did you grow up in that Footloose town?,2 7206,I think I love you.,1 7207,You don't have to answer that.,1 7208,"Okay, Lil, why is it so important to do this today?",4 7209,"Nice. You know, we should have a cheaters grudge match. I think I still have a... Hello. Target acquired. Hottie by the jukebox.",4 7210,We'll just be here. (He gives a hug to Max)You're great.,3 7211,Oh come on.,0 7212,"Listen, Scooter. There is no way we ever be together.",2 7213,There she is!,1 7214,(Looks up and mouths) Thank you.,1 7215,"Hey, I know my neighbors!",1 7216,Lies!,2 7217,"Okay. Good night, Robin.",1 7218,Ooh...Tick-tock goes thegouda clock.,3 7219,"Hook, line, and sinker. We are good.",0 7220,This is the effect cheerleaders.,1 7221,"Uh, yeah. You guys never found me a match.",1 7222,He was gonna take the swords down. Can you believe that?,1 7223,Word expert.,2 7224,"Really? That guy? He was, like, a four.",1 7225,"Well, I found a guy who said he'd be willing to put his boat in my slip, so we're getting closer.",2 7226,I'd love to!,4 7227,"Hey, did you know that the first pies in recorded history came from Ancient Egypt?",4 7228,What'd she say? What'd she say?,1 7229,How'd things go at the doctor?,1 7230,What challenge?,3 7231,"Actually, I want to have four kids.",3 7232,No.,0 7233,"Why not? Everyone has one: mothers, fathers, soldiers. Why not a day for singles who like it?",0 7234,"Guys, just pick a club, okay?",3 7235,"Wait, you know what, these guys are not going to get all mushy sober. We need to get these bitches drunk.",4 7236,"No! Bad lawyer! I need a loophole! I want to feel better, Marshall! I can't keep buying things! I have six self-cleaning litterboxes and I don't even have a kid. Wait. How about this? Ted's probably broken this thing himself, right? And if he's broken the Bro Code, then I'm off the hook.",0 7237,Know what?,1 7238,"Yes, how did you "whisker" off her feet? Shed a little light on the matter.",1 7239,"Why do you have those suitcases, and who are we picking up?",1 7240,That was you? It's crazy!,1 7241,"Okay, my dad's almost here. I need everything to be as awesome as possible tonight.",0 7242,"Are you a total idiot, Ted?",0 7243,Remove from here.,1 7244,Are you joking?,1 7245,Beer! Salvation.,1 7246,"I've never known so far, but I've always wanted.",0 7247,So hurry up and vote for the cutest dog in New York.,4 7248,We're not good at being friends. We're not good at being in a relationship. What are we good at?,0 7249,Who's going to draw?,0 7250,"Really, 'cause I didn't mean to attack you personally, It's just that i...",3 7251,"Actually, it's not bad.",0 7252,"Well, I believe that you saw something perfectly normal but you've exaggerated it in your mind, you know, um, like the Loch Ness Monster.",4 7253,"Exactly. All those "famous last word" people supposedly said? They're all made up. Like that patriotic dude, Nathan Hale, from third-grade history?",0 7254,""This long-distance thing sucks, huh? And I really need to talk to you tonight."",4 7255,Yeah. Got a little time to k*ll.,1 7256,"Do we get a room to pull all this out? It seemed like a good compromise, although I have to work my positions. I love you too.",3 7257,"You know, I don't think I'm gonna watch.",1 7258,"I know, right?",0 7259,"I'm sorry, I should have been more clear.",3 7260,Maybe we should.,1 7261,"Uh, yeah. Courthouse. Oath. We're under it.",0 7262,"I'm Canadian, remember? We celebrate Thanksgiving in October.",4 7263,"So, you're not still gonna be his roommate when he gets married, are you? Someone's going to move out. So who's it gonna be?",0 7264,And in elementary school? We all have school pictures ugly.,4 7265,The truth? She's not the one.,1 7266,"But you enjoyed the e-vite, right? Thas an actual picture of my pants.",0 7267,"No, I have fun. But this thing of a "partner", it sucks sometimes. I always talk about you. I can not play "I never," because everyone knows all the quirks that I let you do.",2 7268,No! What Robin really wants deep down...,1 7269,"Oh, I'm trying to fix the hardwood floors in my new apartment. You?",2 7270,I hope so too.,0 7271,The doctor will see you now.,0 7272,"Look, Lily. Robin is clearly getting tired of you constantly talking about babies.",3 7273,Thank you. Can I see the menu?,1 7274,"Well, let's. Let's have dinner together, just the two of us.",4 7275,You should tell her that looks really good with a chocolate boot.,2 7276,You mean what you done to him.,3 7277,Of course not. It's not like what you said was nonsense.You you were worried.,1 7278,"A bunch of cobras got loose in Central Park. You and I are jogging, training for the Death Valley Iron Man. No big deal, we do it every year. Suddenly we see these snake bastards sneaking towards a little baby. Not on our watch. You grab the kid, I strangle six cobras with my bare hands. Women of New York, one at a time please.",0 7279,I don't know. Is there any version where you don't sound like a 16-year-old?,2 7280,What's so special about the roof?,0 7281,Actually I kinda need this hand to eat.,4 7282,And you said...?,0 7283,"You know, quiet time with the fiancé.",2 7284,"Oh, thank God. Cause, i mean, if you did then who'd be the lame married couple i get to make fun of? Like 'Hey Marshall, you're married mrs right, you just didn't know her first name was Always.' That stuff is cold.",0 7285,"Okay. So before you Lily all over the place, maybe you should try hanging out with Robin and not talking about babies.",3 7286,"We never used to put on underwear! That was the fun of a bro's trip to Gazzola's! We left everything, and everyone behind. It was just you and me! But now it's like you've disappeared into Lily.",1 7287,"So, I'm assuming you all read the chapters on the Greek Revival architecture. Any questions?",1 7288,"Well, after that rather unpsyching experience, you know what it's time for? It's time to... what? That's right, re-psych. Re-psy... Where's the...? Oh, my God! Not Moby took my "Get Psyched" mix!",0 7289,Why?,4 7290,"I'm sorry, but neither of us are getting any action until I find those rings.",3 7291,The... whole... time.,2 7292,Yes. It's true. And it's great. It's great. (Tracey returns) So Robin does not like me.,0 7293,"Oh, boo-freakin-hoo.",3 7294,Seen 'em.,1 7295,Dusty rose and sienna.,4 7296,"Marshall, do not do that. Do not jump, please.",2 7297,So maybe we could go back to just being coworkers.,4 7298,"Hey, you wanna do something tonight?",1 7299,"Oh, yeah...lefty like that.",1 7300,"Sweet! I get that a lot. Well, once.",3 7301,It's 12 hours to live! That girl flew them both to Paris!,1 7302,You just want to do to change the subject.,3 7303,That's not hard. I know at least...,2 7304,So you're going back over there?,3 7305,Thank you. I would have done well at some point.Sometimes you have to... You have to say and... go there.,3 7306,I do not believe you. What gives you the right to do that?,2 7307,Can we draw boobs on the chalkboard?,0 7308,Jen Coulin.,4 7309,"The third time, I was super fast. I got not even one hour after their breakup. The only thing she has made between the break and I arrived, it's down to her mail.",1 7310,You share a toothbrush?,0 7311,It's going fine. How is yours?,3 7312,"Come on man, no one will believe we fought, we look at.",1 7313,"3-C, let's do this. You ready?",2 7314,"Yeah, that really expensive hotel room you put on your credit card-- never checked out. By the way, you know what's super fun? Pouring Dom Perignon down a bathtub drain. Well, it's almost 3:00. Got a massage. Toodles.",1 7315,I've done it again!,3 7316,The best I can give you is a fake smile and dead eyes.,4 7317,"Awesome. Here's the thing: tomorrow night, dress up well, it will move!",0 7318,"Gentlemen, Mr. Li, if you will go to page 5 of your file merge. I think...",3 7319,Sorry darling.,3 7320,I know. I think... I would say... average.,3 7321,I don't care how unpleasant it is. You have to talk to him.,4 7322,"A girl dreams of hearing those words. A million times, yes!",4 7323,See that? Another boy expecting a woman to clean up his mistakes. That's why girls are way better than boys.,2 7324,"And so Puzzles got a bouncer,",3 7325,Who wants to hear me talk about bridges for 1 hour? (All raise their hands) Really?,1 7326,"I, uh... I can't be friends with you anymore. And this may seem strange, but... you can't ask me why.",1 7327,I'm going.,1 7328,Because you're going to bring your own date.,0 7329,She's a paralegal.,0 7330,"You are such a loser. Come on, I came back for you, Ted. I penguin-suited up to show you the error of your ways. And to score hula girl's number. Check and check.",0 7331,Exactly. I worry about you.,0 7332,"Well, I do love it. It's doing a nice job covering up that chair.",0 7333,Big board equals big luck!,3 7334,Cwap.,2 7335,You know what? Looks good. Do not tell Marshall.,4 7336,"This is great. I'm happy. I'm so happy, my heart's pounding. And I'm sweating. And I can't breathe. This is what happiness feels like, right? Oh, crap. Lily's having a baby and I'm having a panic attack. I hope she can't tell what I'm thinking right now.",3 7337,I'm in love with you.,1 7338,"It's not great to finally see blossomed emotionally, spiritually and sexually?",0 7339,"Fine, do you want to know what Robin's secret is?",0 7340,"Yeah, but how good would it feel to walk in there tomorrow, tell him off and then quit?",1 7341,"Ted, every little boy wants to grow up to nail the doctor or the lawyer. Somebody's gotta nail the receptionist.",0 7342,"So, do we want it?",3 7343,Thanks.,4 7344,"I'm just saying, if they do... I'll just say "Well, I got a dinner res" and then, wait this is the last part, I've been working on it for a while... I'll duck out.",1 7345,"I'd ask you how last night went, but we had a pop quiz today. Nobody got higher than a c-minus.",3 7346,"Man, every time I take out my business card and women see the GNB logo, they throw themselves at me. I miss the chase. It sucks! (...) Man, the courtside Knicks seats that are available to all upper level GNB employees are too close to the action. I keep getting sweat on my suit. It sucks! (...) Man, GNB's benefits package is so comprehensive it gives me the freedom to see any doctor I want. It sucks!",0 7347,I would.,1 7348,"Maybe you can not dunk now. But you did more in 30 years that this 15 year old could have dreamed. You are a graduate of law. You had the good sense to cut you that stupid ponytail. And, you married this super b*mb that is unlike any points to your mother. This entitles you to 30 cm less to dunk. (She drops a little basket) Go ahead Thunder vanilla!",2 7349,"I mean, i don't like you that way. I used to like you that way but now that i've seen everything there is to see, i don't know, i kind of want to see those same parts just on other girls.",0 7350,All right.,1 7351,I love you. And I'm gonna love the crap out of whatever baby we have.,3 7352,"Sometimes when you're married, the smell of breakfast wakes you ready.",3 7353,You have Super Mario Kart?!,1 7354,"Oh, God, the things people waste money on in Atlantic City.",1 7355,"So, right after that, I took her home.",0 7356,That's not how it is written.,2 7357,"Oh, sweetie, I totally understand. Delete it!",2 7358,"Where are you taking me, Barney?",3 7359,"We go to Marshall and Lily get a full Kathy Bates, Misery exception. Want to go? He hung up.",1 7360,The girls of pharma are more than g*n. This is the end of an era.,0 7361,It's stupid and childish.,2 7362,"Relax, my guy does everything for one third the cost. And there is no way you're getting married in that sarcastic-quotation-marks "suit." Tomorrow, noon, my tailor.",0 7363,"Friends, I'm doing well. Robin has something important to say.",1 7364,"So, your third book is your new novel, but um...",4 7365,"Robin, I'm his best friend. That's a commitment. Girlfriend? That's like a bad flu. Out of your system after a couple weeks in bed. High five!",0 7366,"You know I don't have $400,000, right?",1 7367,Nice.,1 7368,"The Lilium, not stupid. Sorry, I have no scooter for you.",2 7369,"Dude, why are we pulling to the highway? Ted, where exactly are we going to get this beer?",3 7370,"Wow. 3 girls in 3 nights. This is gross, even from Barney.",2 7371,"It was always like that. You remember, in law?",2 7372,"Guys, guys, guys! We must fix that.",1 7373,You still broies black to the end of the era of the daughters of pharma?,1 7374,How long ago did you take that class?,4 7375,Mushrooms. Mushrooms. Portobello mushrooms for everybody! Take them and run! They're very expensive!,1 7376,"Well, I would love to help by writing a check for... one, zero, zero, zero...",0 7377,What?,1 7378,The sea is blue.,4 7379,"Wow, you two are already saying the "l" word, huh?",2 7380,Wait a minute. Wait a minute.,0 7381,"Yeah-No! I can't ask her out, because if I ask her out I'm asking her out. So how do I ask her out, without asking her out? (thinks)",1 7382,I remember the night before. They made me a farewell party. They gave me a camera to take pictures and send them home. Everyone was sure I will have much success. You will really miss.,4 7383,"OK, I'm hot. Let's go. What has happened?",0 7384,Wait.,2 7385,Something bad happened.,3 7386,(reading) "Class number two.",2 7387,Lily!,3 7388,You saw it?,4 7389,"Marshall, I'm serious.",2 7390,"Oh, no you're not. There's no way you're having a baby while you're in law school. It's gonna be at least three years.",1 7391,So you're happy?,3 7392,Are you sure this poo-poo didn't happen on your watch and you just ran out the clock until it was my problem?,3 7393,"How lame is free a*t*matic bill pay? How lame is 3.3% APY online savings? Yeah, that's right. Hate to make you look stupid in front of your friends, but you left me no choice. He laughs.",0 7394,"Ted. (Both yelling) Oh, do you take one to be your lawfully wedded wife? Oh, God, I'm freaking out. Why did I chose Ted to be my best man?",4 7395,Buy the costume. It is important to you. Tell him how you feel.,1 7396,- And not be groped!,2 7397,"When I was seven, I needed to have my tonsils out.",2 7398,Marshall!,1 7399,"Look, I have to go down there. I don't know what's gonna happen when I get there but I have to give it a sh*t.",1 7400,"Great! Well, that answers all the questions I didn't ask.",4 7401,"So, naturally, I snapped the rib off a triceratops, blahbity-blahbity-blue, I knocked down the whale. I'm surprised security didn't stop me on the way in.",0 7402,"Hey, Carl, is Ted still here?",4 7403,We just had.,2 7404,"On the roof, a Zen garden to pray silently. In the lobby, a fountain where local kids can make wishes. The new GNB, your workplace and your home. Thank you, and.. welcome home.",1 7405,My phone. I'm taking it back. And I'm taking your cool nickname too. Barney Westside speaking.,0 7406,It's unfortunate!,0 7407,Let's go.,3 7408,Sandy Rivers?!,1 7409,"Oh, oh, I should go. Lily, can I talk to you for a second? So, um, I made an appointment with that cardiologist.",0 7410,"The bank statement arrived today. You have booked a hotel two blocks from your school, a Tuesday.",2 7411,I love Marshall.,2 7412,I always find that reassuring.,1 7413,Out!,3 7414,"I just go to the bathroom and I'm off. Ted, I do. I "The guy naked"!",0 7415,"Yeah, normally I wouldn't wish one of his dirty diapers on my worst enemy, but now I kind of miss popping the hood in the morning and finding that first big juicy, black...",2 7416,"Whoever's right gets to slap the other person in the face as hard as they possibly can, but no rings.",3 7417,Wow.

(To Barney) Okay, you were right - the architect thing totally works. But I've got a girlfriend and I've got to get back to work. This project is getting harder and harder.",1 7591,"Barney, where's Marshall?",2 7592,I really do.,3 7593,Milk first it is.,4 7594,Dude.,3 7595,Hello?,1 7596,You ralphed and ran?,2 7597,It has happened to you what?,1 7598,"50, one for each state.",4 7599,"Wow. You really want to open this up again. Oh, I forgot, you open everything up, even if you're not supposed to until I'm dead.",2 7600,"Thanks a lot for coming out here, man.",3 7601,"Oh, good to be back. Although it's weird, vacation Robin popped into my dream again last night.",4 7602,"Two wonderful weeks... and oh yes, I will continue to wear it.",3 7603,"I do not know what to say. It's Thanksgiving, but "thank you" does not seem enough.",3 7604,Thank you.,4 7605,That sounds real.,4 7606,"Oh, really? Then I guess those shoes aren't the thing you're most wrong about today.",0 7607,Yes. Sorry. You got a Brechtophile before thee!,1 7608,You were emptied from the top and bottom.,1 7609,"Hey, can I ask you a question that's plagued me for years? Can girls aim?",3 7610,"And then, right when I started to get a little hungry, I turned a corner...",3 7611,This monkey has our address. And if it belonged to a gang?I hope he will climb to see us.,2 7612,His identity is still secret.,1 7613,"B... Barney, this says $4,000. I thought you said that it was one-third price.",3 7614,I do not steal. And I do not wear glasses. Marshall.,3 7615,"Some guys are sitting at our table. But you know, it's good.",1 7616,So is being mean.,2 7617,Zoey.,1 7618,"Um... Actually... I'm at Robin's. Yeah, and, um... I might have done something bad. I just lied and told her I broke up with Victoria.",1 7619,Whoa.,1 7620,It's waiting for you?,3 7621,I know.,1 7622,"All right. (imitating Clint Eastwood) Hey, dummy (to a mannequin). What did tell you about smoking in here?",1 7623,She's strengthening her core. That's gonna be good.,1 7624,This time we went all the way. Tell you one thing. She is maybe sandy but that chick knows what I like.,4 7625,which brings to step 6.,0 7626,Come on.,1 7627,Steak sauce?,2 7628,"Well, this has never happened. And I can lie to you because you are my best friends.",3 7629,I thought the oven was Celsius.,4 7630,"No, I love you even more.",2 7631,You can never be in town in 30 minutes.,2 7632,You visit? You really should.,2 7633,It works in 100% of cases. No fighting if you're not there.This is what Gandhi said.,0 7634,No. You can't do that on television!,3 7635,I can't even look at you two right now.,1 7636,"Dear Wang Guy...Can enemies ever be friends? Just wondering.",4 7637,It will take about 5 minutes.,3 7638,Interesting,3 7639,"Ted, for the rest of our lives, we are going to be telling the amazing story of how we went to Atlantic City and got married. Don't you want to be in that story?",2 7640,How so?,3 7641,"Rule number two: No sharing food. In fact, anything involving saliva is off-limits. Toothbrushes, thermometers, lipstick.",2 7642,"Oh, good God, woman. You're a disgrace.",0 7643,I think I'm falling in love with you.,0 7644,"Stop the tape, rewind-play it again.",2 7645,I had the most amazing night ever.,1 7646,"Ranjit, party number three.",1 7647,"That's funny, I didn't even "look" in the mirror today. That's not anything, is it? So, I made a reservation at San Marino tonight for 8:00.",4 7648,I can make another cast. Will remember your sentences for the big dinner scene.,0 7649,"Pete, please. I am unemployed. I have a huge mortgage. A baby arriving. And I'm about to lose a job that I really need because of a drunken video of 15 years ago.",3 7650,New is always better?,1 7651,I drank a Big Gulp of Mountain Dew during that Quantum Leap marathon.,2 7652,Hey.,1 7653,"No, and why does this keep coming up today?",4 7654,"Um... it's a new car, so just be careful...",1 7655,"Can you stop talking about your other patients?! I'm dying here, woman!",3 7656,It starts with an... "L?",0 7657,She's gonna tell some bogus story about a cooking class because she's embarrassed we met online.,1 7658,"Hey, is that Marshall? (Takes Phone) Marshall, stop whatever you're doing, get in that hoopty-ass Vierro of yours and come meet us in Philly. It's going to be legendary.",0 7659,You're still getting slapped.,3 7660,Since when?,1 7661,"Ted, this may hurt a little, I'm recycling your old Architecture Weekly magazines.",4 7662,"I couldn't listen to it. Guys, this is hard.",3 7663,"No, you know what? Don't erase the tape. And for what it's worth, I don't think she's throwing temper tantrums. I just think she's, you know, standing up for what she believes in. I respect that.",1 7664,"With Jenkins, of Jenkins, near Jenkins. You said it, I want to put like a sock.",0 7665,"It leaves you on the altar, and it's you who're avoiding?",3 7666,"This is great. We're having fun. You're having fun, right?",2 7667,Come on. Tell me.,1 7668,No problem. I just need to tidy up a little. Of clothes on the floor and...,0 7669,Not according to her.,4 7670,"No, sir. Not at all.",1 7671,"Yes. Thank you, Barney. You were right. Peace was established. More than once.",4 7672,I'd be glad to. Just as soon as you and Barney have the talk.,2 7673,"Yeah. You look great. You got hotter, like that's possible.",4 7674,What?!!,3 7675,Lil '? It's good!,3 7676,I am never drinking again.,4 7677,"Yeah, and I want another drink for this girl, Doris. I know I can ask this aircraft lesbian.",0 7678,"Guys, when Dale called for a second hot date, what do I tell her?",4 7679,She'd stab me with a fork...,0 7680,"Ted! How many times have i asked you to put the lid back on the peanut butter jar? (Ted wants to speak but Marshall goes on) It's this sort of incoiderate, immature jackassery that makes me feel like i'm living in the Realworld house, and not the early years when they all had jobs and social consciences. I'm talking about Hawaii and after! I can't take this anymore!",3 7681,"Bislon, saving your...",0 7682,"Don't "Hey, Lily" me. I smelled poop all the way from the hallway.",2 7683,You are so dead.,1 7684,"iliopsoas tendinitis. It's a basketball injury. Finally, nothing incredible.",3 7685,Why are you lying all the time?,1 7686,"He's out printing out a whole new batch of résumés because he misspelled the phrase "detail-oriented." And when he gets back home, he is going to find his favorite soup there waiting for him.",2 7687,Damn it.,2 7688,"It was a complete disaster and since then I have not even managed to look at another woman. Except the old lady in the subway that makes break dancing. I look at it that way. I just watched. Finally, it is an old lady who made the break dance.And it is good. I will give him a dollar, the next time. Let's pretend I said it: These travel lift were asleep the moment of my week, and I would like to see you Friday night. In a lift. At the restaurant, nice. What do you think?",1 7689,You look nice.,1 7690,"No, thanks. Where are you? Why haven't you called?",1 7691,"I can look happy, but do not believe it. Barney Stinson is suited for celibacy. (Marshall and Lily have joined Ted) Out of pity, if our best friends account... And yes, Marshall, I'm his best friend, how you take it? So, get me out of here. And finally, since you hoping to see some p*rn... (Barney turns the camera towards the bed where a woman waits) Do not worry. The green light means it is off.",0 7692,"Okay. See? We're getting to know each other. Stella, I had a lovely... Doggy bag? Stella, I had a lovely time.",1 7693,"Well, if I can't share her lipstick,there's really no pointin even going.",1 7694,Hold on to it. Never lets go! I have never seen more beautiful girls. They all work with Tiffany?,0 7695,"Okay. See, that's so weird to me. One second you're defending Zoey, and the next, you're talking about her going down.",2 7696,"Not necessarily. Okay, at first, I was appalled, but then I realized it's just like Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-Vasquez in Life Among the Gorillas. I have to gain the acceptance of the herd by behaving exactly like one of them. It's an anthropological study. Isn't that cool?",3 7697,"Yeah, an 8.5 guy. Look, if I was marrying the wrong person and the right person was out there and knew it, I'd want that person to come down to my dermatology office and tell me so.",1 7698,"You know what? That's it! This is Thanksgiving. Solve this right now. And if you have sex again, neither of you gets dessert! Oh, what the hell kind of Thanksgiving is this anyway?",2 7699,"All right, you've clearly had a rough night. I want you to go in there with a smile on your face, so, uh, here's what I'm going to do.",4 7700,"Okay, I get that he's mad at me for turning down the job, but acting like I'm not even here?",1 7701,And a healthy splash of Drakkar Noir. (they hive five) (Robin giggles),3 7702,"No, I'm a visionary. Lemon law, it's gonna be a thing!",0 7703,"We can sell my stuff, too, but I got to tell you, I think your Marc Jacobs cocktail dress is going to go for a lot more than my "Split Happens" bowling shirt.",3 7704,"No, Ted, you don't mess with a honeymoon.",2 7705,"Oh Ted, I'm sorry, maybe I should move closer to your ass!",3 7706,"You and your big, huge heart.",0 7707,"Okay, that's ridiculous. Everyone should know how to use tools.",1 7708,"Barney, I do not understand. You doing anything in these clips.",2 7709,"You know, I've always wondered why those tweed jackets have elbow patches.",3 7710,I know. His mother called such five times to ask where he was.,4 7711,"Ted, I'm glad you asked.",0 7712,"It's weird. By removing the closet, I thought I saw the banner.",1 7713,I love the passion you have for your Vikings. It's like looking for hockey in Canada... What?,4 7714,Great.,1 7715,I don't know any Carlos.,1 7716,"It's still him. I should answer. Hello, Barney.",1 7717,Stop. Perfect.,4 7718,"We can get rejected by supermodels any night of the year. Tonight, I'm going up to the roof, I'm gonna have a few beers, I'm gonna wait for the Slutty Pumpkin. That's just what I do.",1 7719,What?,1 7720,"Yeah, we were thinking maybe we would just get a dog.",3 7721,"Hello Robin, it's Ted.",1 7722,What are we doing in Madison Square Garden?,2 7723,You have a good time?,1 7724,"Driven by concerns about the environment and oil prices, sales of hybrid vehicles rose 11% over last year.",4 7725,Do you not see the powerbar in my hand? I'm fueling up.,0 7726,It's weird when I see him at work.,2 7727,"Marshall's not doing so well, guys. He really needs to get a job.",2 7728,"You guys will thank me for this later, okay? Listen, Don, Ray, can't we all...?",0 7729,What?,4 7730,"What happened to respecting my privacy? Ted: Just say, "no, I'm not married."",4 7731,Really?,4 7732,I like being with you.,4 7733,": Okay, you got to swim for it, Mosby. Man versus sea. You can do this. You didn't get a "Good Effort" ribbon from the Shaker Heights JCC Swim Camp because you don't have what it takes.",1 7734,"Lily, no!",3 7735,"He's gonna k*ll me. Okay, calm down, Teddy. He's not jealous. He hasn't even mentioned Zoey.",1 7736,Who is this? Merideth?,1 7737,"God, this is taking forever.",3 7738,That's crazy. I don't hate you.,2 7739,You know since when?,4 7740,It's pronounced "guy-el".,4 7741,"So, that's what happened to the bouquet. You know, good for Victoria. It's such an evil tradition.",2 7742,"Oh, just grab my boob already.",2 7743,So you got the monkey attacked?,1 7744,"See! That right there is what free will gets you. Constant ego-shattering uncertainty. I'm done with that. I want what Ranjit has. I've spent my entire adult life looking for the perfect woman and I'm spending Valentine's Day scrubbing the toilet. I need someone else to find me that woman. Marshall, Lily, arrange-marriage me!",1 7745,"Marshall, being a single guy in New York city is like... Pfff... What does everybody like?",0 7746,Doesn't count.,0 7747,Aaaaaaah!,0 7748,"Pff. That's not true. Uh, sometimes smaller is better. "Hey, look how big my cell phone is!" You don't hear people say that. No. You want something compact and efficient that fits comfortably in your pocket, and I think Max is just a great guy.",3 7749,"Wait, you knew?",3 7750,Aaaaaaaaaaah!,2 7751,Dibs on his wings!,4 7752,I think so.,1 7753,I knew it. I had a hunch about that girl and I was right.,2 7754,(he laughs) You're the sexless innkeeper.,0 7755,And the most important rule of all...,2 7756,What's going on?,1 7757,Why do not you talk to me now?,1 7758,A little cutesy.,4 7759,"Oh, I was just telling Ted a story.",3 7760,"Thanks. So, uh... how was your night?",1 7761,"How about you get in the shower, and i will make us some waffles.",0 7762,I think you're gonna enjoy this.,3 7763,That wasn't one.,1 7764,"Thanks, enjoy our bedroom.",2 7765,"I don't know. It might come to something. You know, girls find architects very hot. (They kiss)",4 7766,You can look at page 44 of the contract?,3 7767,(yelling)I'm just saying it seems like a kind of bar a lot of cool people would hang out there.,1 7768,Not if Prince is on tour.,3 7769,"Let's do this! Come on! In! Go, go, go!",1 7770,"You can't turn a "no" into a "yes," Ted. Can't be done.",0 7771,"Know that this is quite normal. The major change can be frightening, and fear... it is one of them. So... why not you give me the kn*fe? Give it to me. Go. That way I can unpack too. I will stay with you forever! We had a nice life here.That's why we rejected the package. Because unconsciously, we all know that it would be stupid to leave. It's safe and warm here. There is a downstairs bar, a robot cookie in the kitchen.This is my house and I never leave!",3 7772,You hate me?,4 7773,I'm going to miss Victoria. I should just skip this thing entirely. Robin's still pissed at me after... you know.,1 7774,My purse?,4 7775,Hello?,4 7776,Sure. You're doing well in the Baltics.,3 7777,Flugelhorn?,0 7778,"I remember, this is Sarah.",1 7779,Thank you.,4 7780,I'm leaving. And I'm also... spontaneous. (He throws a glass of water on his face) I would not have done that.,1 7781,"And by the way, I bought these glasses. I bought them at Ikea. These are my glasses.",2 7782,Isn't that great?,1 7783,You realize that you will remain one. Are you sure you want to spend a day.,4 7784,"He... Oh, really? And-And what did Ted say, exactly?",2 7785,"Nice going, Scherbatsky. You're becoming a long and difficult-to-spell household name.",1 7786,"Barney, where have you been?",4 7787,"Yes, it does! Everyone knows that. It's like general knowledge.",3 7788,I think there might be some internal bleeding. Probably some fractures. We got to get her to the hospital.,0 7789,"You heard right. (whispering: ) I'm getting a reputation. So, what you need, mama? Come here.",4 7790,"guys, are you here? I forgot my keys. Can you open up?",1 7791,I'll be in the cab.,1 7792,"Oh, OK.",1 7793,"No, it's not. Okay, you know what? There, gone. Your move, Scherbatsky.",2 7794,That's where my story ends. Now I'm doomed to walk the earth forever searching for that green door and that red neon sign that says "Burger.",3 7795,"Yeah. Account info, important addresses, a letter to the other person, all that stuff. I'll get the next round.",2 7796,"Hi, Shannon.",0 7797,"Less talking shop, more slaps.",2 7798,"Okay, this isn't about the Bro Code, and you know it. The reason that you're upset is because what you did was wrong. And the only way you're ever gonna feel any better about it is if you tell Ted what you did.",3 7799,And it's coming. It shows all the telltale signs.,0 7800,"Listen, what do you want me for?",3 7801,Champagne?,1 7802,"Then, after I saved you from destroying",2 7803,"You know who she is? But, you weren't even at the wedding.",2 7804,Nothing. Give it.,3 7805,Wow.,2 7806,What?,2 7807,"Because no woman in history has never, "asked to read architectural magazines in my old... uniform cheerleader. "",4 7808,"Yet. Oh, I almost forgot. Sergei sent me your bill.",0 7809,"Oh, hi, Lily. We were just in the neighborhood, thought we'd get some lunch. We didn't even know you'd be here. (Marshall takes a photo of her).",0 7810,"You believed in me. It's my turn to believe in you. As far as I know, this is good.",2 7811,Yeah.,2 7812,"No. Look, I can do this, okay? I mean, how else are you going to find out who this girl is.",4 7813,What? What? No. Can't you just call Marshall?,1 7814,Wait. You can not just sit there and have your date with us?,3 7815,"I don't know what it is, but margaritas make me sexy.",3 7816,What?,4 7817,Can I help you? Are you happy. You like him.,1 7818,Here's the important part.,1 7819,Slim.,0 7820,"You know, ever since college it's been Marshall and Lily and me. Now it's going to be Marshall and Lily... and me. They'll get married, start a family-before long I'm the weird, middle-aged bachelor their kids call "Uncle Ted".",1 7821,No. You'll give it back or you're fired.,1 7822,"Wait, wait, I know magic. Well played, Eriksen. Well played.

     

Gumballs 25 cents


F.D. » Transcripts » TV & Movie Transcripts » H » How I Met Your Mother



(Lily's phone rings). Oh, hold on. This could be about he apartment. (She leaves the room).",2 7897,It's true.,0 7898,How does everyone know that's a goat turd?,1 7899,"No... No, no! No! No, don't turn!",3 7900,My lips are always like this (drinks martini and drops it all over her blouse),2 7901,"And that's what you always wanted, is not it? A strong man to take care of you? Of course, teenager, you were a feisty, playing hockey with the boys, you skinned your knees on the ice. But what you could say to your teammates... or even to yourself... that is all you really wanted was this pretty white dress in this beautiful white chapel. And at the end of the aisle strewn with pretty white flowers, a man to take care of all your slaps.",0 7902,"You know, when I asked you to be my roommate, I said, "A girl, she will be careful." But no, you're an ogre Revenge of the Nerds.",1 7903,"Ok, I stop.",4 7904,"PJ is a great help. Install the desktop, create the Web site. And in return, I guide a young brilliant mind.",1 7905,It's serious to me.,1 7906,No.,3 7907,"You know, I was just thinking, we haven't seen your friend Michelle in a while.",3 7908,"Thanks for your honesty, Crazy Sock Guy. Oh, I'm never gonna sell this...",2 7909,Already? Were you planning on eventually sleeping with the host?,1 7910,"Lily, it's over. The good guys lost.",1 7911,I'd love to meet your parents.,0 7912,"Adult Video Weekly? Oh, no...",1 7913,"Ted Mosby, suit up, 'cause here's the plan. There's a Miss Nassau County pageant. We'll pretend to be judges and, yes, our votes are for sale.",0 7914,"Good for them. Letting a guy eat pizza off your back, that's love. So, um... I know this wasn't the best",1 7915,"No, wait. Come on. Wait. Marshall! 81st and 1st please. (He pulls the card out of his sleeve). Oh, she does have a cute handwriting.",0 7916,A: You can not wear anything underneath.,3 7917,It was not necessary.,3 7918,"You were in love with her, throughout the year and when she feels the same, you love him more.",2 7919,We can't get anywhere with our wedding plans because I want it to be fun and Marshall wants it to be lame.,2 7920,"Sweetie, just calm down. Do you wanna go somewhere and talk?",2 7921,"Oh my God, look at this little baby. She's so cute. All I want is to put her little feet in my mouth. You have created something really beautiful.",3 7922,Are you sure?,1 7923,Maybe. When Marshall has daiquiris... he gets really into how beautiful he is.,2 7924,"Yeah, I ship out tomorrow for two years. You know, some people say the Peace Corps is the most noble thing a person can do. To those people, I say, "Is it?" And usually they say, "yes it is."",0 7925,"A single solution. You must stop sleeping together, please.",0 7926,Your cops are called Mounties.,1 7927,I'll help.,4 7928,"Hey, Schmosby, remember when you dookied on our couch in the form of your idiot high school friend? Unbelievable!",4 7929,No.,1 7930,"Really? Laid, you say?",0 7931,But we still house boudoirs and hot dogs.,1 7932,West Orange? New Jersey?,1 7933,Fantastic! That must be the previous tenant. I wonder how it looks.,1 7934,Uh-oh.,1 7935,We didn't just talk about her and fantasize about her... We wrote songs about her.,3 7936,You know what this is? We made love. Men and women need sex to live together. It resolves all disputes.,4 7937,"Yes, lucky.",3 7938,That's good that we have broken. I had totally forgotten your psychosis on the kids.,1 7939,"OK, wait for it.",0 7940,I understand. (To Ted) Get in the cab.,0 7941,"Well, I do. I got to find those rings!",3 7942,"Scooter, you're gonna be an umpire someday.",2 7943,"(on phone) Tanya, he's a dude. He's not gonna know what kind of shoes she was wearing.",0 7944,"'Definitely. Great! "Dude, these students seem stupid.",0 7945,Super. Look who's here!,1 7946,An actress. Of course. That explains his perfect diction and style of Drag.,0 7947,"No, no!",3 7948,"Really? Laid, you say?",0 7949,Can you imagine... That would be the cutest thing!,3 7950,You're calling Robin.,0 7951,Right. And I mistook you for a prostitute right... here.,1 7952,So you never slept with her?,1 7953,There's just so much to do for this wedding. My head is swirling. It's just all moving too fast.,2 7954,"Yeah, well, at least Barney wouldn't take the swords down.",1 7955,"Okay, g*n violence might be the answer to everything up in Canada, Robin, but here in America, we solve our problems with words. Marshall, you go in and you dazzle this guy with a big eloquent speech defending human dignity. Like abraham Lincoln.",1 7956,"No, the worst part is that we still have no idea who my stalker is.",0 7957,I guess so.,3 7958,Robin Good show.,3 7959,"A lemon law, like for cars.",4 7960,"I've just been losing my mind lately, and do you know why I feel so bad?",0 7961,Yeah it did.,3 7962,"I told him he's crazy because he's crazy, right? I mean, how crazy is that?",1 7963,I guess that's one drawback to being engaged. I'm sure that's why he didn't...,2 7964,"Nerds who aren't good at math? Life's going to be rough, boys.",4 7965,"Oh, buddy, I'd love to, but I can't.",3 7966,Can I talk to one second in the kitchen? Not touch the chair. I praise him. I can not believe that thou hast hid thy sister all these years.,0 7967,"Figure out who she is? She should call me. I got a whole list. She's selfish, she's immature, she's...",1 7968,(reading): We're just hanging out.",3 7969,"OK, this is getting weird, the similarities go on and on. She hates phonies. I totally hate phonies too. She's a dermatologist. I have skin.",1 7970,Try? I will absolutely say no. Our friendship is too important.,1 7971,Did you show lily your design?,4 7972,Ro! we are such idiots!,3 7973,He is.,0 7974,I love you.,0 7975,No. Marshall.,0 7976,"No, i just thought...before we eat, maybe the chef would like to say a few words.",3 7977,"You know, looking at the names on this list, I do not see a lot of ethnic diversity. It should really be questioned.",4 7978,"Guys, can we cease and desist with the lawyer speak for a minute? Love died. The love that made you all believe in love, that's dead now.",3 7979,"Oh, wow, you just got b*rned, phonics style.",3 7980,Slow loves junk,2 7981,"God forbid, if you manage to find a job, sell your apartment.Marshall and I, we have a free room. You can stay as long as you want.",2 7982,I'm going fishing with my dad.,0 7983,"Never really clicked. I felt bad though, he was pretty bummed.",4 7984,What was what?,3 7985,"I don't recall saying "snakes". Ted, I know you love crappy old stuff no one cares about. But I'm gonna give you four words to live by: New is always better.",0 7986,I'm not gonna force sports on them unless they're interested.,1 7987,that's a pretty great hand shake. (Looks him in the eyes),4 7988,Of course I want to get married. I... It's not like I was ever going to do it. I just... I just really wanted to see if I could get this.,2 7989,Why not?,3 7990,"Hey, how was the big couples' night with Marshall and Lily?",1 7991,What the hell are you doing?,0 7992,"What are you talking, baby? Of course I do.",3 7993,"She was really hot, okay?",1 7994,"Well, that's very complicated.",1 7995,Wake her up and say what?,1 7996,Y-you don't remember?,0 7997,Well.,1 7998,"You think that this is just about Robin? This is about... You know, I've seen you do some bad stuff. I mean some really terrible stuff to a lot of different people. I just always thought there had to be a limit. I always thought I was the limit. You're always spouting off these rules for bros. Isn't one of them, "don't do this"?",1 7999,"Well, there, you said it again.",0 8000,"The evening started well, but... not as good as I hoped.",1 8001,Pete Durkenson.,3 8002,We're having a party next Friday?,3 8003,You did what?,3 8004,"Ted, Ted, Ted. Dude.",0 8005,"And at first I was totally sympathetic. But damn, Ted, over the years, you made me cynical.",3 8006,The Bro's Life magazine. Page 83. Look.,0 8007,"Okay, your job is very simple. At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone even remotely related to me.",2 8008,"This guy. Life is a meal and old age, the dessert. I get so many worries about the future. Where will my career? Who will I marry? When you're old, you do not worry, because all this has happened before. You got pumps and a comfortable seat for the stairs. That's perfect.",1 8009,It's all right. We can do this.,3 8010,Best idea ever!,3 8011,"Oh, come one, you gotta give me aliens. Stonehenge. Area 51. There's alien crap all over the place.",3 8012,"It's the same. Mostly, except I think I might be getting carpal tunnel. My hands keeps cramping up.",3 8013,You can be at 22h.,0 8014,Hi kid. It looks to go. How are things at home?,1 8015,Stuffed mushroom?,1 8016,You're leaving. Robin begins to coat. I never heard anything so stupid.,3 8017,"I mean, you can't talk about how close you used to be. You can't talk about how close you're not now. You just feel like everything you say is gonna make things worse.",1 8018,"Well, as tempting as that sounds, I'm hanging out with my friend who just got dumped. She really needs some support... or a stranger's tongue down her throat. That seems healthy. All right. Guess I'm in.",4 8019,I'm pregnant.,2 8020,It is so great to see you Ted. Ah! I'm gonna get the key for the lockbox.,2 8021,It is freezing outside. Where is your jacket?,1 8022,My boat is sinking.,0 8023,It's been 12 minutes!,3 8024,I knew it! You have not even given a single sh*t.,3 8025,"Hey, you guys remember the time that Lily kicked Korean Elvis in the Nards?",3 8026,"Aloha, island visitors. The big wave brought you to our humble luau. For that, we thank you. Or in my native tongue, mahalo.",2 8027,Hi. Ted Mosby for Dr. Zinman.,1 8028,"Uh, they just called. They're both super swamped preparing for tomorrow.",4 8029,"Look, if you want Marshall back so bad, how come it took you two days to ask about him?",1 8030,"It's been an incredible thing. I was talking to Robin, I would tell him my feelings, but just before, you will believe what ever she said.",0 8031,"You know, I'm glad Robin have guessed. Because it is really sensitive and fragile. I talk about the times she cried during the song Clint. And while I whisper, I hope she hears me.",0 8032,"Your dad is the last person you should tell! The man is too involved in our lives! It's like, every time the phone rings...",2 8033,I know. It was the worst summer of my life.,2 8034,"That sucks, dude. You did not manage to blow it up?",3 8035,"You want a good holiday drink, try his Kwanzaapolitan.",1 8036,Completely naked!,3 8037,"Wow, that is weird.",4 8038,"Oh, Esther gets naked. But she doesn't dance.",0 8039,A half hour?,2 8040,"What if I do, Ted. I don't have a switchblade. I don't know how to break-dance and win the begrudging respect of a street gang.",3 8041,"Uh, then again, red cowboy boots.",4 8042,"Well, guess what? I broughtMarshall with me, so maybe we'll do the same.",2 8043,"Uh, about once a week.",1 8044,Absolutely not.,1 8045,The 88. They're this awesome band. They played my law review party. They were found guilty. On three counts of rocking.,3 8046,"Wait, did I gave you a reason or were you looking for one?",1 8047,The piercing was cool.,0 8048,"Interesting. Wow Lily, you, uh, seem to be having a pretty strong reaction to losing this apartment. I wonder is it because it reminds you of something you lost because you couldn't commit?",1 8049,"Barney, Marshall didn't quit his last soul-sucking corporate job just to go work at a bank. He's gonna be an environmental lawyer.",2 8050,"I'm sorry, dude, this corporate thing, it's just... it's not for me.",3 8051,"(with an accent) You're not from Missouri? Well, I will be a monkey's unc...",0 8052,Look.,2 8053,"Oh, God, I never should have said no! Come on, GNB didn't really hire a new architect. This is just one of Barney's moves.",1 8054,"Sorry, sorry.",0 8055,It's simple.,2 8056,"You did the right thing. You got a well deserved boost. And then it would have disappointed Ted, and it is finally... very happy for the moment.",3 8057,"Oh, Barney, you're never gonna figure out which one of these is the mystery woman. All of these women have a right to hate you.",2 8058,You can never tell Marshall.,2 8059,"It's not bad. Also, for posterity, a statement drunk guy! I would not drink again.",3 8060,What are you doing?,1 8061,You have made us break up?,1 8062,"(Smiling) Hey. (Silence) I'm engaged, sorry. (Puts ring on) I took my ring off! It's very, very sweet of you to come over and talk to me, but I... just...",2 8063,"Well, yeah, actually (smiling). I'm a different guy now. Give me another chance.",1 8064,"I know, she's terrific, but I have to break up with her.",1 8065,"She was not home yet so I waited. And expected. I woke up, covered with snow, after 4h. And then I saw them. The footprints of Lisa. She had passed right by me to the house.",3 8066,What?,1 8067,It's good. It's good.,3 8068,"Yeah, we're not gonna make it.",0 8069,"Oh, baby, they have our song. Let's do "Don't Go Breaking My Heart."",2 8070,Sure. Good luck with that. (He hangs up) Sorry about that.,1 8071,The alien time machine has a withdrawal limit. That's what I'll do. I give you a dollar... per day... for a million days.,1 8072,It was your girlfriend. You might want to call her back.,4 8073,We got to go. See ya.,2 8074,My visit to a certain Dr. Stangel.,2 8075,"Hey. So, uh, looking forward to tonight?",3 8076,"Well shit, it's my right! I will wipe my manhood when I'm ready!",3 8077,"He asked you out?! Oh, step into my web, Simon.",2 8078,I know. Are you gonna do?,2 8079,"You proved it, all right? The whole "Ted Mosby, architect" things works.",3 8080,That's what the fireman's helmet?,4 8081,Why? Was he being mean?,4 8082,"Wait, you're saying that girl just used me for a place to crash?",1 8083,(Subtitle)...Okay...,1 8084,"If we want them to open up, I say we go straight-up gin.",4 8085,Shh.,1 8086,"Oh, my God. At school, she is so calm and normal. I thought it was not... a Woo.",2 8087,"Ahh! Okay. You can lick my hand all you want, I will not let you ruin... Ouch!",3 8088,"Yeah, he's out there somewhere, just like the Slutty Pumpkin. (echoes) pumpkin-pumpkin...",1 8089,The Olympic gymnast successful landing.,0 8090,"Yeah. Plus a*t*matic out, you're leaving in a couple of days. God, I wish we were tourists.",1 8091,"It's a great idea. No, really. Hat guys. I saw in the future and everything works perfectly for everyone.",3 8092,last cigarette of my life.,3 8093,On the wall.,0 8094,You said to me that being single would be like being in a candy store.,3 8095,"Come on, Ted, let's get you a hooker. It'll be fun.",0 8096,"Baby, how can you not want you to do? I want to do it. If you do not wanna do it, sorry, but you must be gay.",2 8097,I should have just worn that stupid eye patch.,1 8098,He moved there for business.,4 8099,...rather than rolling around next to some eyeliner in Robin's purse. Stinson out!,0 8100,I'm still convinced she k*ll my turtle.,1 8101,Cite me a buddy in the story of friends who has already done that.,1 8102,I slept with Barney!,4 8103,That's enough. What's wrong with you?,3 8104,"Dude, seriously, I'm sorry about your dad.",1 8105,This one wakes me up at 4am sometimes just to have a little night out.,3 8106,g*n.,0 8107,"No, it's too dumb to whether adult. It should be child when it happened.",0 8108,"Stop it! Don't, don't!",1 8109,"I buy designer clothes and accessories that i can't afford. I have 15 creditcards and they're all maxed out. And no one outside of this room, not even my husband, knows. And i feel terrible because all i want to do right now is ask you (to a girl of the meeting) where you got those shoes? They're adorable.",2 8110,"Uh, I'll talk to him.",2 8111,Guys? Wait a minute. Where's Barney?,3 8112,Ok,1 8113,Yes.,1 8114,They totally pull focus up from that whole chin situation you got going on. To Chrissy.,0 8115,They know us here! You're gonna get us in trouble.,0 8116,"But when we said, "Hey, Moby," you said, "Yeah."",0 8117,Impossible. It has already been the worst of all marriage.,1 8118,"Tequila. It's her weakness. Three shots, she tells you the truth about anything.",1 8119,It looks like a big day of Valentine's Day.,3 8120,She slapped me and stormed off.,1 8121,"I don't know. I see a short bald hipster, my mind goes straight to Moby.",1 8122,Is also tomorrow.,1 8123,"Oh my god lily, have you seen this kitchen?",4 8124,sh*t of Jim Beam?,1 8125,Hey.,4 8126,"Ah, no thanks. I don't need an algorithm to meet women. It's New York City. You know, plenty of fish in the sea.",1 8127,He slept on our floor last night Ted.,4 8128,"Well, if you're so worried, why don't you give her a call?",1 8129,philosophical riddle. Idea against execution. Itemize your arguments.,0 8130,You're an idiot.,4 8131,"Mmm. Love you, too.",1 8132,"A hat? This is brilliant. I love it! Nothing better to say "delicious" as inside a cowboy hat. I tell you, I'm your man. I think being born to draw this building. I... I see.",1 8133,We should really get Lily.,3 8134,"Punchy, it's time to go back.",1 8135,"You know what? I'm glad you know it because I am proud to be Canadian. It was not a good NFL team or Prince, but we invented Trivial Pursuit. Anything, the Earth! In addition, in Canada, you can go to a strip club full of alcohol and order. And yeah. Moosejaw in the Bay of Fundy, you can whistle your pint of Pilsner while watching a minor girl to get naked. Jealous? In Canada, people do not care where you come from, as you are whisked away nice and possibly a cigarette, or when a donut. I am proud to come from the "Great White North"... and I want to be right now. And was not afraid of the dark. Finally, we do not really like, but like everyone else.",4 8136,Pablo Neruda.,1 8137,Thanks for taking me.,4 8138,But umm...,4 8139,Not at all.,0 8140,Yeah... Cream cheese has a mild flav-flavor so it... it balances out the spiciness of the jal... the spiciness of the... Dude!,1 8141,"Ted, she has a name! And just what are you accusing me of?",0 8142,"(closing the book) Okay, can I just say that my deepest need in life not to have my father to say, "I am proud of you, eh?"",4 8143,Forget. I took my retirement. I no longer.,2 8144,Thanks.,4 8145,Thank me later. Let's keep moving. These little bastards are everywhere.,4 8146,"Your place? Thanks, but no thanks, 1994 Courtney Love.",0 8147,Well...,1 8148,Wow. I did not understand a word you just said. Lingerie models on a boat!,0 8149,From joy. I am so happy for them.,0 8150,Exactly-the guy doesn't even own a suit!,0 8151,"Oh, well... hello you!",4 8152,I understand. I really want it back.,0 8153,"What, you really had something to talk about?",0 8154,"I'm sorry. Did you just say Canadian Thanksgiving was and I'm quoting,"the real Thanksgiving"? What do Canadians even have to celebrate about?",0 8155,"And, oh, he is a masseuse.",1 8156,"Are you kidding? He's Hammond Druthers. He's a legend. I'm just part of his team. This building is huge for the firm, so it's really important we don't blow it. (Giggles) All right, enough!",1 8157,What?,1 8158,How could that be me? He is an Englishman. What would you recommend to your many admirers who want to reach the peak of their potential?,0 8159,"Sorry that my search for love has you so upset. You know, your precious photos might be better if I was not over.",1 8160,Totally. Let's let those guys handle it.,3 8161,Who is she?,0 8162,I moved here.,1 8163,It's a good question. I have not really thought.,1 8164,No. Lily is my friend and I'm not going to make fun of her for trying to follow her dreams.,4 8165,Groins on Ice.,1 8166,"Oh, geez.",1 8167,"Harsh? Robin, a single guy and a married woman cannot be friends if one's in love with the other.",2 8168,Get off me!,3 8169,A water bott.,4 8170,That's great!,1 8171,"Actually, it's really sexy.",1 8172,No.,4 8173,Okay.,0 8174,"It's OK, it's OK.",1 8175,Oh my God. It's real.,4 8176,(to herself) But her last boyfriend had to get a restraining order against her and then his cat and new vacuum cleaner both went missing.,2 8177,"I'm not scared. It's just that I think once I'd put this tie, I could never remove it. I should wear it again and again. And of course this tie is fine now, but how I will cope when it becomes big and it annoy me? Do I made a mistake? Is what I would have been happier with the other tie? Ted, I can tell you a big secret?",0 8178,"Let 20. So 20 girls a week, that's 1,040 girls a year.In its 16 years of sexual activity, it would mean that he has dredged 16,640 girls. If he has slept with 199, it's a success rate... slightly higher than one per cent. This is an average of 12 hits, eight times worse than average in career... launcher in one hand, the launcher... Jim Abbott.",3 8179,I will prove it. I'll show you how much I'm serious. I will not leave this restaurant as I have not got a second date with you.,0 8180,The dress I wore to my actual prom.,2 8181,"We're talking about this. Look, I can handle you trying to prevent me from fulfilling a life-long dream. That's just being in a relationship. But now? You turn my best friend against me?",1 8182,You should work at a carnival.,2 8183,"What do you mean, win? You couldn't even talk to her. You tried, you got slapped.",1 8184,Hhhhh Don.,4 8185,Oh? So do I.,2 8186,"Oh, that was a good one. This sales guy was rude to Robin, so I took a pair of khakis.",2 8187,"Oh, it's just... We haven't seen you guys all week.",4 8188,"Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.",1 8189,"Tonight is my last issue. I arrived in Metro New One as a small caterpillar. And for 4 years, this office was my cocoon.But tonight, I turned into a butterfly ambitious.",4 8190,"Sure, I have an opening. If Madame Lily is jealous, young Marshall can not move, then by chance, the "Big caramel"... may move, ok let me try again.",3 8191,"All right, guys, I have to go. I have a big meaningless stack of paperwork that I have to get off my desk to make room for tomorrow's big meaningless stack of paperwork. But it's all worth it, you know, 'cause at least I know I'm making the world a... place. All right, see you guys later.",3 8192,"That's exactly it, according to the website!",0 8193,What? No.We had sex yesterday.,0 8194,"To us, sure, in very small, infrequent doses. I mean, come on, you're not exactly the kind of friend parents want their kid to have.",4 8195,"Give it back. Hey, give it. Gimme... Give it!",3 8196,Oh...!,0 8197,"Hey, Barney, uh...",4 8198,"Barney, that was really embarrassing for both of us. We just earned a huge chunk of story.",3 8199,"Dude, if you do not stop moving your feet, I'll tear it off.",1 8200,"Trudy, come on out.",1 8201,I have not really want right now.,4 8202,Or four: You taunt with their success.,0 8203,Let's start.,0 8204,"No sweat, we'll just sneak in.",0 8205,"Well, I called her. And get this, she changed her number. Well like I'm gonna stalk her or something? Like she's so special?! Like she's the only Lily Aldrin out there? 'Cause there are four others in the San Francisco area alone, and they all seem a lot better than her, based on the brief conversations I had with them!",3 8206,"Yes, of course. They're playing with their hair and touching your arm. Class green light.",2 8207,I still think it's stupid.,4 8208,"Wait. If I pay a woman $ 200 an hour to feel better, it will not discuss. And there will be both on the couch. The woman in my scenario, she is a prostitute. Dirty, vulgar, all redone, from Eastern Europe...",0 8209,Why do you want me to promise you that?,3 8210,"Abby. A few weeks ago, Ted dumped me as his wingman. You had a crush on him for a couple weeks? I was Ted's best friend for seven years.",0 8211,Yeah. It's nonprofit. They just want to disseminate information.,0 8212,"This is the ideal plan. Each time you start to yell, he lieth in place. One minute you're on the back of each other, and the one after that, well, the same thing.",1 8213,What was what?,2 8214,"Come on, daddy, break me off a piece of that white chocolate.",4 8215,Um.,4 8216,"Man. Doug was right, you are a pain in the ass.",4 8217,"You do not let these bitches destabilize you, right?",2 8218,"Yeah, you need to go there.",1 8219,"First, I wear a sweater off, which has horizontal stripes. And I also... I ate salty... So I... You know what? Shut up!",3 8220,"No, it's just this guy at the station. I never get involved with co-workers, but he asked me and I said yes. Is it going to be weird?",4 8221,"Nothing. (She leaves the table to go to the bathroom, the door is locked, she knocks.)",4 8222,What's wrong? Other than the fact that this five dollar bill they gave you is blue.,0 8223,It hurts!,0 8224,"What do you think, make obsess?",0 8225,"Shh! Shh! Baby, don't worry about it. I called The 88!",3 8226,"Anyhoo, we can't stay long. We're just gonna grab a quick beer and then take these kooks for a boat ride around the city.",2 8227,"You can fly it into the lamp? Fasten your seat belts!Not you, Ted.",0 8228,Bro.,1 8229,Where's Lily?,1 8230,"Here comes the groom in his favorite blazer, gonna meet my wife and I'm...laser, tazer, gaze her, take, bathe her?",1 8231,"Why do you dance much, and I do not know why?",2 8232,"(To Yasmine) Hi, I'm Ted.",1 8233,"Only way I know how, Doc. Only way I know how.",3 8234,Is that Ted?,3 8235,"(on TV) You know, Metro News One may not be number one in viewer ship. But this reporter takes pride in... (trips and falls off camera) Whoa!! OH! Oh, my god! I'm covered in horse crap! It's in my hair!! Oh my, ow... ow my knee.",4 8236,"You will say nothing. Ted, Heather begged me not to tell you. She hate me if she knows that I sneaked.",2 8237,"Actually, the p*rn. Only women with major baggage make p*rn.",0 8238,He now works at a water slide park outside of Ottawa.,4 8239,Come on! You always took charge of everything.,1 8240,"Listen, that was a dumb move for me to just assume...",1 8241,"You will meet her, buddy.",3 8242,"Honestly? Probably something pretentious, and pseudo-intellectual, like...",3 8243,What does that mean?,1 8244,No need for it. We can do it alone.,1 8245,FINE! Just... eh. (Leaves),0 8246,"Oh, baby. No, no. Not the slipper socks with the rubber soles. I work so hard to-to set the mood, and-and when I see those, I feel the egg go right back up my Fallopian tube.",2 8247,Two girls are allegedly vying for Ted's affections and I think...,0 8248,"But, I'm Robin Scherbatsky. I'm a reporter for channel one.",4 8249,"Yes, it's definitely, you are going to buy a horse.",4 8250,Guess what came in the mail today?,2 8251,"You have 10 minutes to get here, the window closes.",0 8252,Pet store?,3 8253,I just want to hit that perfect middle ground.,1 8254,""... feel loved. She makes the best cookies oatmeal raisin-, The Goonies knows by heart... "",3 8255,Prove it. Delete contact.,2 8256,I'm sorry.,4 8257,Hello?,3 8258,"I'm not stupid. I know what you think of my paintings and graphics. In fact, I made a picture of your reactions to my paintings. See it. Yes, that's true, since Cecilia, your interest in my paintings do not stop falling. But based on recent trends, I also... projection boards! And look... a large peak of interest is coming! And it's not just a blip dead cat. It is a long-term growth.",3 8259,I don't know what you're talking about.,4 8260,"Come on, I wait, swing all your jokes about Jen Coulin.",1 8261,Should we take this to the bedroom?,1 8262,"Poor Marshall., Lily's this gourmet cook, and all she letsMarshall do ss pick out one sad block of cheese.",1 8263,"Seriously, it's time. What are my gaps?",3 8264,What kind of gadgets you talking about?,2 8265,Look what I saw yesterday.,0 8266,C minus? What are you talking about? I just pulled an all-nighter!,0 8267,"No, you guys just have to look at the whole picture. Fact.",1 8268,"Listen, um, I hate to go up against my two best friends, but... I really, I really need this right now. I mean, we're, we're cool, right?",3 8269,"Okay, I may have exaggerated that last one, but the point is, he was mean. And that's why I took away his ball.",2 8270,Not "Tara.",3 8271,"Well, that's funny, cause I did!",0 8272,It's a little embarrassing. So what?,1 8273,Hello?,1 8274,I can not believe my father had read this letter at our wedding.,3 8275,It's just that all I've ever done is teach kindergarten. I want to get out there and change the world. I want to find my passion.,2 8276,Hey.,1 8277,What?,1 8278,It's true.,0 8279,Yeah.,1 8280,McLaren's pub.,0 8281,"It was just one time, it, it was the night that Simon dumped me and I was in a really vulnerable place and I, I wanted to just pretend like it never happened, but I couldn't, and... I can't. I just, I had to tell you. And... I just hope that we can still be friends.",4 8282,It's called a shirt.,0 8283,Shit.,0 8284,"Oh funk legend George Clinton, I am so glad you spotted me at your concert an drag me on stage to dance with you Courteney Cox style.",2 8285,"Lily, you're marrying your best friend in the world. I mean, isn't that worth all the other experiences combined?",4 8286,"Oh, God, I'm so sorry about this. You guys had your schedule and I screwed it all up.",4 8287,Mm-hmm.,1 8288,Really?,4 8289,"Well, I'll just say it right now, all sorority girls are sluts.",2 8290,"Wait. If they canceled the project a month ago, why did I go every week to see the new working group?",1 8291,"Come on guys, you do it!",0 8292,"Dude. That's my girlfriend. And you know what? I'm on her side now, too.",1 8293,Fine. Let's go talk to him. Where'd you meet this booger-eater anyway?,1 8294,"(to Robin) Be cool, baby. Damn! (toMarshall who is leaving with his barrel) See you, sweetie. Good luck.",2 8295,"Okay, very good, very good.",4 8296,"God, that sucks, man. I'm so sorry.",3 8297,"Was it good?! Not that I'm interested. This is for girls.But it could take me there, like, 7:10 p.m. at the session tomorrow, 9:40 p.m. where because of my meeting. But I will leave soon, we will try to 7:10 p.m..",3 8298,Is that the blackboard from my classroom?,2 8299,"Hi, Dad.",2 8300,"Well, I'm sorry Randy, but that's called fraud.",3 8301,Consistently.,3 8302,"No one challenged you, so it wasn't really a challenge.",1 8303,No?,1 8304,I'd rather not.,1 8305,"Dude, he's right. How many times do you have to watch this crash and burn before you say, "enough"?",3 8306,Amazing.,1 8307,"A Guide. I guided a young, once. I made him my co-pilot. Then one day, he hired an assistant to work 3 meters from her room, which... Check it out... is not a hottie, proving he has never listened. You know how to call this type?",0 8308,Hi! I'm Ted! Robin's boyfriend! Nice to meet you.,1 8309,"That Friday, I met Robin to see how it went at "fire o'clock."",1 8310,This is the guy who convinced you to run around campus naked?,4 8311,"Oh, that's sweet, Lil, but didn't you guys get food poisoning here one time?",4 8312,Today is your birthday?,1 8313,I can not wait to tell everyone.,3 8314,And I only stirred that with my pinky.,0 8315,"I'll try, but no warranty. She is still shocked by this joke. This joke. It tore our group, which turns the people I love against the other. Frankly, I would... I would like this joke is never entered our lives.",3 8316,I want you to be happy. I will speak to him.,1 8317,"Robin, would you mind not sleeping with Ted tomorrow night? I... prepares a special dinner for Marshall.",2 8318,"Oh, hold on. Ted's texting me. (reading text) We're combing upsars.",0 8319,Sorry about what happened inside. I was stupid. I should say anything.,3 8320,"Do not misunderstand. You're disgusting and the cops should put a shoe on your part, but this number should be higher. After Barney told me about that, I reviewed the figures and... I have some graphics. Barney dredge about 20 girls a week.",3 8321,"Okay, one: It has never been proven. Two: If anyone had any dreams about gays one of us would be on me! Finally, look at me. Now look at you. An octogenarian still in her closet would not be in this state.",0 8322,"The last great idea for Fathers Day-No, a pregnancy test, but instead of a blue line, there is a small blue Barney who does that.",0 8323,When?,4 8324,Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. What's her take on Ewoks?,3 8325,I remember.,2 8326,Lily hates you. She hates you so much it's hard to be around you. So we can't be friends.,1 8327,"I'm not ready for this responsibility, let alone to be the stepfather of a 7 year old daughter. If I get married and moved to the suburbs, in a twinkling, I exchange old!",1 8328,"I'm sorry, i shouldn't have led with the divorce lawyer part.",2 8329,It looks good.,4 8330,"You wanna know why I have to work tomorrow? My firm's designing an executive lounge for a tobacco company. In the fight against cancer, I'm on the side of cancer.",1 8331,I thought that thing was canceled.,1 8332,John "Bonzo" Bonham from Led Zeppelin?,2 8333,Bye.,1 8334,You should! You should!,2 8335,"I know. Looks like something covered by a sheet. If you want to discover, you will have to do a story on it.",1 8336,"Well, love to join you at that one. But I got tickets to Foxy Boxing.",0 8337,HUm the Mosby boys cracked a lot of big cases.,1 8338,"All right, you know what? You two are just threatened because I'm a single guy moving in on your couples' stuff. Well, guess what? It's my territory now. I'm peeing all over brunches, fancy dinners and musicals. That's right. Brad and I are taking back Broadway.",3 8339,(Closes laptop screen) No underwear?,3 8340,We need someplace to hide.,0 8341,Do you think they've been in there the whole time? I don't know whether to be proud or concerned.,2 8342,He seems like a good guy. He wears those red pants.,1 8343,I'll go put it in the oven.,2 8344,Why?,3 8345,There he is.,1 8346,"Ew, gross. Just stop it.",2 8347,"You can compete with anyone. You're Robin Scherbatsky. Confident, strong, great. With super long legs that look great in shorts.",2 8348,Break it.,1 8349,What about "Esther"?,2 8350,No!,4 8351,"Stella, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told them. But they're my best friends. I tell them everything. I-I didn't even think about it.",1 8352,I'm worried about Marshall. He doesn't seem like himself lately.,1 8353,What? You done? Great. Check out table number four. See that little hottie on the end. She's short but has an ample bosom. I love it. She's like half-boob. Let's go.,0 8354,Are you a model? That one's good because it's flattering to the girl.,3 8355,Anything.,1 8356,I hope you do not talk to you.,4 8357,Right. This is embarrassing. I got highlights.,4 8358,Moby?! She's upstairs.,0 8359,"Yes, but I always cover it with a cough.",2 8360,"And thursday at 3:01 p.m., your face is going to show my hand.",3 8361,"Because we love to madness, right?",3 8362,There is no such Bizarros who share everything.,3 8363,It's good. God thank you. What brings you here?,1 8364,"Crap, she bought some expensive shoes. She's really looking forward to this. Do you think she's into me?",1 8365,"Sure. Imagine, you have a g*n to his head, you have to say that one of us is low.",3 8366,"Yeah, I realized that Barney.",1 8367,"I don't know, Barney. I only saw her face.",2 8368,So you'll clear your schedule.,2 8369,You guys are in screaming matches all the time.,2 8370,Question. Awesome. Hit it.,1 8371,So how long have you felt this way?,2 8372,"Lesson two, get a suit. Suits are cool. (Points to self with bear bottle in hand) Exhibit A. (Flirts to a woman unseen) Lesson three, don't even think about getting married till you're... thirty.",0 8373,"Ted, the wedding was yesterday. It's been 24 hours.",2 8374,"Hey, new is always better, right?",1 8375,"Basically, you're sort of a general office assistant.",1 8376,"Oh, honey, I really try.",2 8377,"Come on, guys, free nachos. What?",0 8378,"I meant, me and my dad.",3 8379,"Okay. So, if I can sell three of my paintings at 500 bucks a pop, then I get to keep all my clothes.",2 8380,You have not seen the show?,4 8381,Brava. That was incredible. And that slap was genius. You did not hold back.,0 8382,Let me see.,2 8383,This is how people act in relationships.,2 8384,"Wow. Thanks, Barney. You saved me. You saved us. If there's one thing you never do, it's call a woman "fat" right to her face!",2 8385,"Okay, I guess I can take her off your hands for an evening.",1 8386,"Hey we're wearing the same shirt! Oh, wait no that's just my shirt reflected in yours.",2 8387,"Well, those swords have been up there a long time.",3 8388,"The brides are very stressed before a wedding. Well, of course, I was under control.",2 8389,There's nothing to admit!,3 8390,Keep it.,4 8391,I can not believe that Robin is going to lose.,1 8392,Geez.,1 8393,"Lily, we live in the center of art and culture in America. I'm sure you could find a program here that's just as selective. But you chose one in a city 3,000 miles away, and you didn't tell Marshall. I think it's pretty clear what that means.",1 8394,So my father and I were in the NFC championship game by 99.,4 8395,"So, is there anything else you need, sweetie?",0 8396,"Look, guys, I know milk is important-- it's got vitamin A, vitamin D, it's a great way to start the morning-- but Ted just had a huge date. How'd it go, dude?",3 8397,I'm too-much-tongue guy.,1 8398,Classic.,3 8399,"Lily, if we have a baby right now, that is just it for me. The cement will dry, and I will be stuck at GNB forever.",3 8400,What does his ball have to do with anything?,1 8401,That's weird?,2 8402,"Excuse me, guys. Coming through.",0 8403,"And more importantly, I honestly love that painting and I couldn't stand to think of it in a trashcan someplace.",3 8404,As you can see on page 44 of the contract...,3 8405,Save it. Let's just do the news.,4 8406,You mean the spa the judge ordered him to go to to quit cocaine?,1 8407,"I was left on the altar, there is one month.",1 8408,Didn't care at all. Oh. Oh...,0 8409,"I realize why I'm still single. I'm picky. I'm not going to settle. If I'm going to marry someone, she has to be perfect.",1 8410,"She thinks she is strong. That's right, I have to prove that I am not the weak. I will make her jealous.",3 8411,I'm sorry. We're waiting. It's cool.,1 8412,Summer fellowship?,3 8413,Yes.,4 8414,"Baby, you just saw Barney.",3 8415,What idiot. He chose a beautiful girl for my role?,4 8416,What?,4 8417,"Ted, these chicks are desperate and hot. That's a perfect cocktail. Shake well, then sleep with.",0 8418,"Yeah, that's what I was talking about me too. As I said, let me think. I agree.",4 8419,"No, I would fight for three things, the closing of a stubborn bra, accusations of sexual harassment... 9 of 9! And wanted to vomit when I see someone wearing brown shoes with a black suit.",0 8420,"Well, lead the way, sweetie pie.",4 8421,"Yes! Let's! Oh, driver?",1 8422,"Ted, oh my gosh, I love this moment. You know why? Because I'm gonna say it and this time you're actually gonna say yes. You ready? You ready to say yes? Ted, suit up!",0 8423,"Sorry, but I have to.",3 8424,Three?,3 8425,"Just gonna make a quick call. Hey, silly question. What are our exact nautical coordinates?",1 8426,So get an escort.,0 8427,What are you doing here?,4 8428,"No, the real story.",1 8429,"Oh, Robin! Hey, yeah, guess you never showed up did you?",1 8430,It was downright terrifying. I would just like to forget what happened and continue to live my life.,0 8431,Okay.,1 8432,The goal is to make it five in a row.,0 8433,"'Kay. Oh, go on, touch it.",1 8434,"Or, he could just let him have this one.",3 8435,I was gonna go with "chastity bracelet.",4 8436,My co-anchor's a woman.,4 8437,Wendy the waitress hyphen Stinson.,4 8438,"Oh man, I'm really sorry.",1 8439,"There is a history of architecture on a famous architect who designed the library. She was perfect. But every year, sinking a few inches into the ground. Obviously, the building was condemned. He forgot to take into account the weight of books. This box... it's just me. If I ever thought not to books?",1 8440,"O right Dowisetrepla! No, i'm from New york. I know this neighborhood. I'm down in the D-town.",2 8441,Here's the thing.,2 8442,"Damn, Lily!",4 8443,"This is love. And this was my grandmother's watch. Anyway, now I have only one course of action in front of me: I have to end my friendship with Zoey.",1 8444,Thank God.,2 8445,I can handle this; I'm full of surprises tonight.,3 8446,But friends and others.,4 8447,Garbage Island. You haven't heard of Garbage Island? It's an island... made of garbage! It's in the Pacific Ocean. It's twice the size of Texas!,3 8448,Again?,3 8449,"Lily, this is Mr. Druthers, the head architect on the project. Lily's going to be our new office assistant.",1 8450,"Maybe there is something in it that people do not like.We'll watch it, OK?",1 8451,Wait a second. Is it possible that Barney Stinson secretly hope they have children?,3 8452,"I'm really sorry. I hated to do it again, but Karen had to leave.",2 8453,Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!,2 8454,I don't scream at Lily.,3 8455,"And if you got no time for all this, just tell him that it happened and that you're sorry. And if you're really in a hurry did not tell him you're sorry. Just as it happened, what is most important. It really happened. Thus abbreviated it as much as you can.",3 8456,"Exactly. Science. There is an 83% correlation between the times men wear boutonnieres and the times they get laid. Think about it. Proms, weddings. Grandmas' funerals. Thanks for the redhead, Nana. The "everyday boutonniere" by Stinson.",0 8457,"Thanks, Barney.",3 8458,Sounds like Brad's got quite the night planned out. You better bring your "A" game. That means no granny panties.,4 8459,"Well, I just ralphed.",2 8460,I think it is the toilet.,3 8461,"So, it's over?",4 8462,"Fair enough. I have to say, it's kind of nice having food around here for a change.",0 8463,"Hey, a lot of puppies got adopted. Of course, a lot of the people calling in thought we were going to k*ll them.",4 8464,"Good luck. This film is international, it's great.",4 8465,Every Halloween Ted waits for the Slutty Pumpkin.,2 8466,Surprise me.,1 8467,"I was a single case. This is not Holly Robin Scherbatsky. What is wrong with her hair? News Flash: detangling, it exists for not having a helmet. I'm so mean.",4 8468,Ah!,0 8469,"Man, those Canadian doctors banded me up, reset my jaw, put my shoulder back in its socket, and they didn't even bill me. Idiots. All right, I guess they're no idiots. The coffee was extraordinary. Huh. I guess Canada's not so bad. They play their cards right, maybe they can even become a state someday.",0 8470,"No, not a word. But that does not have to be like that.We can fix that, right?",3 8471,You're right. I go to you... I go to the bathroom. And then I'll break...,0 8472,"Oh, thanks. Um, Sandy, do you want to get a cab?",4 8473,Sorry I'm late. Where are Marshall and Lily?,1 8474,Do you really think about all this?,3 8475,A drunk audience.,0 8476,"Surprise! Just a decoy, my friend.",0 8477,Wow. You're here and not in stall two.,3 8478,But I told you the last time I saw you I was coming home.,1 8479,Thank you.,1 8480,It's gotta be a lousy picture of you.,4 8481,You heard me.,0 8482,It's your board that is zero.,4 8483,This won't be.,1 8484,"I love you buddy, but it is impossible that the blond you go well.",3 8485,"Invigorating, thanks.",0 8486,Yeah.,1 8487,"Something troubling you, kiddo?",1 8488,I'm sorry.,1 8489,"You needs it. Guys, you can't just keep hooking up and not at least try and figure out what you mean to each other.",2 8490,"I'll marry you. Of course. But, uhm, until you see a ring on this finger, don't expect me to put out.",3 8491,"It's a bit serious, huh?",1 8492,"Oh, I do see that.",4 8493,I'm so excited to remake love.,3 8494,"Oh, my God. It's the beaver song. Okay, which one of you put this on?",4 8495,How do you guys know each other?,4 8496,You will be my bridesmaid?,4 8497,"Oh, yeah. And tonight, just like John Mellencamp, I am going to get rid of the "cougar" once and for all. Get it? 'Cause that's what he did with his name.",0 8498,It works.,2 8499,"An occasion that was supposed to be joyous suddenly turned tragic when Ethel and Sadie Marsolis, New York's oldest twins, suddenly passed away on this, the eve of their one hundredth birthday. I'm a dirty, dirty girl (Slaps behind). Ow. Reporting live, Robin Scherbatsky, Metro News One.",4 8500,"Wait, can I stay here maybe?",2 8501,What?!,4 8502,"Yeah, he's going to eat it too, it's another record.",4 8503,"Hi. Uh, could you tell me what room Lily Aldrin's in? Thanks. Marshall!",1 8504,"Ah, here we go.",2 8505,That's the craziest thing I've ever heard.,1 8506,"No, no, no. Not right away. I gotta seem casual. (Answers phone) Hello?",1 8507,Just the best.,0 8508,What?,3 8509,Calm down! Let us be calm! I have a question. This is how when you're in bed?,0 8510,You guys are idiots!,0 8511,"Damn, that's cool.",1 8512,Lying?,1 8513,"Wait, you guys were serious about that?",4 8514,That's good too.,0 8515,Bluntly.,3 8516,"It's Robots vs. Wrestlers, Lily. This is obviously a tradition. It starts like this. First, Robin moves in with Don and Marshall and Lily have a baby, then Ted...",0 8517,Hi. Have you met me?,0 8518,Damn it! (To Lily) He checks out...,3 8519,What do you mean?,1 8520,Really? Because it also kinda sounds like a date. With Sandy... and his weenie. I mean is this not a date?,1 8521,Why did you abandon me?,2 8522,Nice to meet you.,2 8523,"(upset/tired) Thanks. (Walks down the steps. Robin begins to walk in) You know what? (Robin stops. Ted turns around). I'm done being single. I'm not good at it. Look, obviously you can't tell a woman you just met you love her. But... it sucks that you can't. I'll tell you something though, if a woman-not you... just some hypothetical woman-were to bare with me through all this. I think I'd make a damn good husband. Because that's the stuff I'd be good at. Stuff like making her laugh and being a good father... and walking her five hypothetical dogs. Being a good kisser.",1 8524,Improvements?!,3 8525,"Sorry, Ted. We can explain. After you Blitzed out last night...",2 8526,""Brother and sister"?! Okay. Fine, yeah, I'll see you at the restaurant, bro. (She leaves)",2 8527,"I don't know. This does have all the earmarks of p*rn. Stripper pole, bad lighting, delusional girl who thinks it's a stepping stone to mainstream success.",1 8528,"Sex. Oh, excuse me, ma'am. This bastard's kicked.",4 8529,(flirting back) they're all yours.,4 8530,"you're afraid that if you spend too much time alone with me, I'll turn into a mermaid?",4 8531,"I am preparing the couch, man.",1 8532,"Oh, God, I'm sorry, man.",3 8533,And say we want to have a dinner party exploring the wine and cuisine of France's Loire Valley.,2 8534,upside down Viré.,0 8535,"A boat! Oh, wait, that is how you say it.",2 8536,Can you believe this one? Wants our booth. Keeps giving us the walk-by.,2 8537,Oh my God. Barney...oh my God.,1 8538,"What, she is upset?",0 8539,"You haven't changed, Scherbatsky. You're a sophisticated, scotch-swilling, cigar-smoking, red-meat-eating, g*n new yorker.",0 8540,Or listen to the Sparky book again?,1 8541,What?,0 8542,"It's funny, it's also my recollection. But according to the film...",1 8543,"So, what's he PMS'ing about?",2 8544,"Baby, no one can tell anyone. Not before three months. I do not want you to have bad luck.",2 8545,"Once on a dare. The other times were just for fun. I'm not in college anymore. I'd love to go back and be that person again, but you can't move backwards you can only go forward.",2 8546,You're Captain Hook.,1 8547,I'm too old for this stuff.,3 8548,MacLaren's is this much fun. What I'm offering is the chance to have this much fun.,0 8549,I thought it was a lunch.,3 8550,"As drunk as she was, when she woke up the next morning, she still remembered room 110. That's why she knocked on the door. She was looking for me.",1 8551,Where do you see yourself in five years?,1 8552,What's up?,4 8553,"Oh my God. This is huge! I am invited to the Ball of Architects, the annual gala honoring the greatest architects of the city. Oh no. You guys see the problem?",1 8554,Why?,2 8555,"Well, you're a big... stupid octopus face!",2 8556,And that was it. No more Zoey.,1 8557,"Yeah! This video is entitled, "Little League Coach Gets Hit in the Nuts by a Foul Ball and Then Vomits in a Garbage Can." I don't wanna give anything away. Let's just watch.",1 8558,The only oddity that I did was to open my heart and my soul when I had put me to hair when the room was empty.,3 8559,Why?,1 8560,"Everybody says it's good to change, right? But it's what's good?",3 8561,"Wait a minute. So, where is Woody Allen?",4 8562,No!,0 8563,"Look at you, Scherbotsky, blatantly trying to make Ted jealous.",2 8564,They hated it!,2 8565,I was just hoping to get those olives... that you said I could have.,1 8566,"Yeah, I'm gay. Gay for you.",3 8567,Yeah! He has not signed a check.,1 8568,"Okay, you want the truth? Yeah. I like Simon. I do. We have fun together.",4 8569,I can not undress. It's freezing here. I'll be hypothermic.,4 8570,"There is one thing that's been going on. Uh, it's about Ted... and Zoey.",4 8571,He's not cool with me moving in.,2 8572,"Well, let's get an outside opinion.",4 8573,"Krav Maga, how cool is it that she does Krav Maga?",1 8574,"(enters) Lily, I thought tonight was about us hanging out, what are you doing?",4 8575,He's a duck. That dude be straight-ducking. "And I think that I'll amaze her". Nailed it!,1 8576,"Medium rare. But that's not important right now. Look, I know the city better than any of you guys, okay?",0 8577,I'll take it.,3 8578,"What about your place, Barney? I know it's shrouded in mystery, but it's gotta have a couch.",4 8579,It was earlier called for the drink of Seattle.,2 8580,"No, the worst movie... Manos: Hands of Fate.",1 8581,Did you guys?,3 8582,"Uh, yeah. It's hard to take criticism from someone who just recorded seven episodes of Million Dollar Heads or Tails.",1 8583,"No, just a $30 gift card to Costa Coffee.",3 8584,Definitely. Ducks are better than rabbits.,2 8585,"Okay. If you were new in town and had just ingested an eighth of sandwich, where would you go?",2 8586,And no cuddling after.,3 8587,"Baby, you come to revolutionize modern marriage?",3 8588,That girl she's talking to? I dated her.,1 8589,"Let's be crazy! You're going to drink for two tonight, baby.",2 8590,"Go. Please, I can not ask him to leave at Thanksgiving.",3 8591,You just made that up.,3 8592,What is Generation X?,1 8593,"Okay, clearly, when we're watching Tommy Boy, we're watching two different movies.",1 8594,Where?,0 8595,Flip it.,3 8596,Her words exactly.,1 8597,I prefer to call them "justice khakis.",2 8598,She said "doody.",0 8599,"Are you kidding? I have hated as soon as I saw them. So they are cannon. In fact, I've hated almost as much as Robin when I've ever known.",2 8600,How's the hot dog?,0 8601,They don't know that. All we have to do is hide out in here until Ted moves his mojo into the bedroom.,3 8602,"Lily, you have to tell him. That dress cost a fortune.",4 8603,Shall we?,3 8604,Yeah. Really.,0 8605,I do not care. I will take it to my grave. It's a silly movie anyway!,1 8606,Nice! I love that guy. Max is both his name and his level of awesomeness.,3 8607,"Okay, it matters not.",3 8608,She's still drunk from last night.,1 8609,Why would Barney have a notebook full of information about me?,4 8610,"Oh, when they had to pump out all the nickels from his stomach?",2 8611,"Guys, guys, this is not helping, okay? I can't have some big confrontation with Arthur. I need this job, i... I need the money.",3 8612,What the hell do you two think you're doing?,4 8613,"Anyone of Rush, a Meat Pie from Montreal and a lunchbox superhero.",2 8614,Lily?,1 8615,"Yes, we do.",0 8616,That's Kate Hudson!,1 8617,Great.,2 8618,"That's great, Sven. You are so much cooler than Marshall. He has not even mix. Who wants a foam?",0 8619,What the opposite of name-dropping?,0 8620,"Dude, um...",3 8621,I do not like nicknames.,4 8622,"Oh, no.",3 8623,I'm here.,3 8624,"Yeah, no, I get it. Um, but when I was a kid, you... you were this total badass.",0 8625,"Hey, look at that! Liz still wants to meet you. That's great!",4 8626,"All right. As a former... before you embark on anything, I'm meeting this guy. I think it's pretty weird not having yet met.",0 8627,I know. It's... Isn't it amazing?,2 8628,Absolutely. A background. It could not get better. I make fun of that? I need you.,0 8629,This is about the exaggerated English accent.,1 8630,"Yeah, no problem, of course.",0 8631,A pile of rotting seagull carcasses covered in toxic sludge.,3 8632,There's no alcohol.,2 8633,"Yeah, du he's in pretty good shape. He could probably kick your ass.",3 8634,"Hey! So, did you hear the big news?",4 8635,"We've been trying and trying, and still nothing's happened. I'm just worried we can't have children.",2 8636,"You know, I don't look like this every day. On a real weekend, the real Ted wears a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt with bleach stains on it.",1 8637,"Oh, thank god, you're here.",3 8638,"First of all, that line makes me sound like a hooker and saying it makes me feel like a hooker, so.",3 8639,It isn't a race.,2 8640,Okay. Final round. What simple act will get the boys to finally forgive each other?,2 8641,Check.,2 8642,"Exactly. From the moment the date begins you have five minutes to decide whether you're going to commit to an entire evening. And if you don't, it's no hard feelings just good night, thanks for playing, see you never. Huh? Huh? The lemon law, it's gonna be a thing, possibly starting right now.",0 8643,No.,4 8644,It's not weird. That means you're not ready. Sorry for wanting to rush things. Our baby can expect the real dead ringer for Barney.,3 8645,I love it when you quote Scripture.,1 8646,Sure.,3 8647,So...,1 8648,Was it...?,1 8649,""Oh, and my sperm don't work. Yeah, yeah, the laser tag thing is awesome".",0 8650,Yeah.,3 8651,"That's so cute. But it's Scotty, one of my students, and he looks at me me. Weird that I'm more famous than you.",1 8652,That's what i thought.,0 8653,"No. If you get a dog, I'm going to be the one stuck taking care of it.",1 8654,"We have one hour before sunset, and none of us baffera Barney.",4 8655,"You must stop, seriously. The last thing I'm looking for now is a relationship.",4 8656,"You know what, I don't care. I've been with one woman for too long. I need me some strange.",3 8657,"It comes back. (They go back under the table) We all think that you need... Wait, where is Barney? (Barney is in the next table) We think you should talk to him.",3 8658,I did not.,1 8659,I've done it again!,3 8660,What about your guy? It's midnight. Go kiss him.,1 8661,Now. For I have explained.,0 8662,"Yeah, he's here and he's great. Hang on. Marshall, tell Ted... Uh-oh.",0 8663,What is the Mosby?,4 8664,"Thanks, Barney. You know, um... there's something that I wanted to ask you, and I don't really know how to say it so... here goes. Who's the crazy chick in the apron?",4 8665,You sure about this?,3 8666,It's a good thing?,1 8667,"Whenever you try to pretend that you're kidding but in fact it is profoundly true, you are using that voice.",2 8668,"Well played, sir.",0 8669,No.,4 8670,I wish I had power.,0 8671,I've never need the beer more than I do right now.,3 8672,Thanks.,3 8673,Wait. What?,3 8674,"Oh, daddy's back. See, if you'd taken a moment to think about that...",1 8675,"Yeah, more like the opposite. He's been ignoring me all night. Barney wants me to take the job so bad he's putting the moves on me?",1 8676,I say ***** s!,3 8677,Sure.,3 8678,Running the water.,3 8679,"Thank you, Lil.",1 8680,So she's not...?,3 8681,That was me. Me. The one time Marshall forgot his pants?,1 8682,"Oh, I've got references.",1 8683,It is what happened to your jacket?,2 8684,It gets worse.,3 8685,I don't want perfect. I want Robin.,1 8686,I promise.,0 8687,"The point is, last words are overrated.",4 8688,"Hey, I'm sorry I took the swords down.",3 8689,"I don't want to be tied down. I want to live in France and Spain and Italy and just soak up life and put it on a canvas, even if it means being a waitress in crappy cafés for five years, I don't care. I'm going to be a painter. And I can't do any of that with a, with a boyfriend shackled around my neck, you know? But anyway, I'm blabbering. Way to make new friends, Lily. I'm sorry. What was your name again?",2 8690,"Because... If we don't do it today, I just know we're gonna wind up having a huge wedding with a huge crowd full of huge Midwestern people looking all disapproving and judging me while sipping little cups of mayonnaise and cracking runaway bride jokes all night long.",2 8691,"Ted, thoughtful. You go out jokes father of super lame.",4 8692,What you think you say?,4 8693,There's no Hershel! I was just saying that to make you jealous! Why do you insist we play these games?,0 8694,"Now, all's right with the world again.",4 8695,"Listen, Zoey, I, um... I need to tell you something. Um...",1 8696,"Just to know, but it would do the same if we had not seen the Barney look-alike, eh?",3 8697,"Thank you. I needed it. Well, I go back to work. I must insert a plank in the dark hallway of Bilson. You have understood me.",1 8698,"Hells, yeah!",3 8699,"Look, it's been 30 years. And now you just show up out of nowhere? This is... this is going to take me a minute.",0 8700,Short version.,2 8701,You're makeup?,4 8702,Jen Coulin!,1 8703,Yes. You told her you were Ted and that you were an architect.,2 8704,"Ted, have you considered telling her the truth?",2 8705,"Well, she's not getting any younger.",3 8706,"Hey. Something kind of cool just happened. My story on Pickles, the Singing Dog, just got nominated for a Local Area Media Award.",4 8707,"Yeah well, "the one" is heading up to "the roof". (Robin leaves to the roof with Carlos)",0 8708,I can not believe you're kicked out of laser tag. Are you gonna do?,3 8709,Marshall was here yesterday. They just learned the word "fiancé.",2 8710,You say...,4 8711,"So ten months ago, you just up and decided to get divorced without telling me?",1 8712,"All right, you proved it. The whole "Ted Mosby, architect" thing works.",3 8713,Huh?,4 8714,"Come on, Barney. It's a sweet song about friendship.",3 8715,"I know, it's so, uh... You know, I totally forgot to tell you, but, um, the other day, Arthur offered me a five-year contract.",3 8716,Kissed my husband! MY HUSBAND! Nobody embraces the father of my future children besides me.,2 8717,"And "Oops, I did not have you seen?"",0 8718,Robin! Stop the news!,3 8719,It's Robin. That's Robin in there.,1 8720,"I'll be cool. Ah, Ted. You got your beer label in a bunch over nothing. Listen to your Uncle Barney. You have no reason to be nervous. None whatsoever. And I'm going to tell you why in one word.",0 8721,Barney's prenup,4 8722,And the streak continues. Vomit-free since '93.,1 8723,"This is totally stupid. We were together, you know, we laughed...",1 8724,"Well, I count three for and one against.",0 8725,Right. The most important facial expression of all.,1 8726,What the hell were you doing? Let's review: you and Ted broke up six months ago. You're dating another man...,2 8727,Uh what's the harm... Hello!,1 8728,Lenny Kravitz.,1 8729,You want us to arrange your marriage?,3 8730,What?,4 8731,"Okay, carousel four is tapped out. Ready? Because I'm about to drop some knowledge. Cute girls are not from Buffalo. Time-out. Ten o'clock. You ready to rock this, Tedder?",0 8732,Yeah.,4 8733,But it's Thanksgiving.,2 8734,What?,1 8735,"Sorry. (slower) Whoo! It's just they kissed! They're finally a couple. Oh, my God, you guys! This is our first double date! First of millions! What if our kids get married?! Oh I love this!",2 8736,Um... yes.,1 8737,What do you mean something weird happened last night?,3 8738,Let's just go inside then. Shall we?,3 8739,What are you doing?,4 8740,It had to happen eventually. I tried so hard to suppress my... "side-idiot-who-is-not-care-for nothing" he rebelled and has struggled!,3 8741,"No, we ran out of Cheetos last week. Oh, yeah, it's a Cheeto. Dibs.",4 8742,"Baby, baby, I was so worried about you. Why didn't you call me?",2 8743,You're being ridiculous. I'm gonna be up on that wall one of these days.,1 8744,"Oh, stay there. Huge hole on the second floor. I just want to be sure the report is accurate.",2 8745,You wanna buy a g*n?,3 8746,She's gonna k*ll you.,2 8747,Thank you. Yours is.,2 8748,"...You get out of law school, it's like getting out of boot camp. That first day at work, you're storming the beaches, full of piss and vinegar...",3 8749,"Ted, seriously, relax. Everything's... Okay, and it's raining.",3 8750,I can not believe it.,0 8751,"And also, it was really funny.",0 8752,"Geez, what now?",1 8753,Excellent choice. I love this guy.,1 8754,Let her go. She belongs out there in the wild. You should feel proud. You fought the cougar and lived.,3 8755,"I sometimes have dreams about my gay best friend.",3 8756,Yes.,3 8757,It's Robin.,3 8758,That's ridiculous.,1 8759,Really?,4 8760,Lily thank God.,3 8761,"All right, here's the message. (clears throat, then reads Barney's note) "Oh, hey, guys. Didn't see you there. I was too busy feelin' fine and..." Really? "Feelin' fine and gettin' some 'jine. You may have noticed the giant plate of hot wings in front of me. I know how much you love hot wings. Too bad someone bribed the kitchen to take them off the menu tonight. So, if you want some, you're going to have to come back to GNB. But hurry, this offer will be gone lickety-split. (Barney licks his hot wings peace by peace then throws them down) Do evil laugh." Oh, um... (makes a poor impression of Barney's laugh) So, what are you turds up to?",4 8762,"Hey, hey, hey, hey. Spiders gotta die so trees can grow.",1 8763,It's weird. You know how it feels to be one of the former married?,4 8764,(on Phone) Yeah.,3 8765,Thank you.,1 8766,It's been what?,1 8767,Tagline!,0 8768,Your teacher of calligraphy called...,4 8769,"Oh, thank god, you're here!",3 8770,Evil twin!,3 8771,"Stuart, you don't have to be one or the other. Everybody feels this way sometimes.",1 8772,If he thinks. Do not bother to pretend that other women are not attractive just for my own good.,2 8773,"This is the moment I've been waiting for. Starting tonight, I'm gonna teach you how to live. Ted, you're out of chance, Marshall's in.",0 8774,Amazing.,4 8775,"I drank all five, bitch.",1 8776,You don't seem to care what's going on in our lives unless it's an eight or higher.,4 8777,The fact that I found a porno starring a guy named Ted Mosby... Let's do it!,0 8778,He's cheating on me.,4 8779,What?,1 8780,"Yes, you can borrow.",0 8781,"Massage therapist. And you know what, "Gayle"? Your piece of chicken looks a little tense to me. Oh, oh, does that feel good, Mr. Chicken? Well, guess what? I didn't wash my hands. Got him.",3 8782,"Anna, hi.",0 8783,"Yes, Lily, thank you. That was gonna drive me crazy all night. Hey, Ted! Marshall's just checked out your girlfriend's ass.",0 8784,"I promise, I'll wait three days. Stop talking.",1 8785,What did Barney mean when he said "calzone"?,1 8786,Chicago.,1 8787,"Ok, I'll get your mom...",1 8788,So all we need is one large shipping box and 100 white mice.,3 8789,"Ted, I did it to help you. You're addicted to the commitment. You fell in love with these women, even if they do not deserve you.",2 8790,"Damn it! Okay, in the process of truly getting over him, I may have called him and left an... indelicate voice mail.",4 8791,I played tennis in high school. You know why? Because it was just me out there. I couldn't even stand playing doubles. I just got dumped.,4 8792,Do you guys wanna hear one of my lines?,3 8793,"He just left, in the middle of our own party, you don't do that. Unless, of course, you're chasing after someone who's already done it, and then I think it's okay.",2 8794,Really? Wang Guy? We're asking Wang Guy?,1 8795,I think I brought it.,4 8796,75th in Columbus. (Gets up and grabs coat) Game on! (Leaves),1 8797,"Hello again, Ted.",4 8798,"Oh, yeah, that'll get it out.",0 8799,I can see my hand print on your face.,3 8800,"Hey, Barn? What do you say you let us sub in for you, scoop stuffing for a little bit?",1 8801,"... never happens by accident. Each technique used to drag a woman has been thoroughly field tested. By eliminating improper techniques in small markets like Cleveland. I know which will go to New York. For example, tonight marks the inauguration of the escaped prisoner. Do prisoners on the run are sexy?",0 8802,Then we pretend to break up.,0 8803,Bro Code article one:"Bros before hoes.",0 8804,Do you know about the time the Marshall was in Trenton?,0 8805,"So, we came up to me, and I go to my room to prepare the camera... lighting candles... and when I go out, nobody, paper and more roles! We all know who is responsible for that.",0 8806,We should figure out what this is.,4 8807,I'm sure you do.,1 8808,"Hey Barney, see that girl?",1 8809,We have a confession. This wasn't really about seeing Ted's house. It's an intervention.,2 8810,"Ooh, floor's cold. Grab that afghan your mom made.",2 8811,What's that supposed to mean?,2 8812,"Oh, dear. You're still drunk. I can not believe that I made the bet.",2 8813,I bring these girls to party because you are important. You are my family.,1 8814,Give it.,1 8815,"I want to get tiny fitted sheets for this burger, and just... crawl into this bun, get all cosy, and die there.",2 8816,"Yeah, we've talked about it.",1 8817,No list of Murtaugh.,0 8818,"Uh, listen, Barney, I saw you talking to that bridesmaid last night. Did you happen to get her phone number?",1 8819,"I mean, if either one of us had even the slightest hint of feelings for the other, we shouldn't hang out. You don't, do you?",1 8820,"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. OK, look, if there's anything I can do to make it up to you, just tell me, I'll do it.",1 8821,I can not live here. I hate being here. I would k*ll myself.,1 8822,There are certain justices that cannot or will not be inalienable... as such... for the future.,1 8823,"Well, hopefully you never will. They said that they might not even use it.",4 8824,It's "Dead wife's kidney." How are we even discussing this?,3 8825,"Sold. Victoria, what's wrong?",2 8826,"Christmas morning, there was 4. Our first Christmas together, just us five. Here's another nice little game. It's called, Appoints This Bitch.",2 8827,It's nothing.,4 8828,I think you'll love what's happened at work.,0 8829,"What? No! You can't go now. It's the night before Thanksgiving. College chicks are back in town. Their moms just made a snide comment about the weight they gained. They called her a bitch, but deep down, they know she's right. And they're about to walk through that door, where we will be waiting with some light beer and some rock hard approval. Wh-what u-up?",0 8830,"You're joking. I have mad game, bra.",3 8831,"Look, our forefathers died for the pursuit of happiness, okay. Not for the sit around and wait of happiness. Now if you want, you can go to the same bar, drink the same beer talk to the same people everyday, or you can lick the Liberty Bell! You can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it!",0 8832,"Marshall, you can pick up Ted?",2 8833,Post rap? On which it would work?,4 8834,"Of course. I'm sorry, I forgot to call you. That's not the place. The real place is on 106th and Manhattan Avenue. We're headed there right now.",0 8835,"How much fun is this? All of us reminiscing about how we met me? Robin, have I told you how I met Marshall? Robin: Yeah, like five or six times.",0 8836,"Oh, excellent. We'll take this one.",0 8837,"Honey, you're there. You're really there.",2 8838,"You take a beer with a Yankee, if that's not cool!",1 8839,"No, if I wanted to make it personal, I'd call you a bored little trophy wife who likes to play activist when the shops on 5th Avenue are closed.",1 8840,"I'm so gay, eh, Donnie?",1 8841,"As a quarterback to stay on top. Monday morning, he sits on an ice pack and are studying the tape of the match.",0 8842,"He won? He won. Oh God, getting the kid is winning, isn't it?",4 8843,That's actually true.,1 8844,I love this thing someone said about three months to live.,4 8845,Watch out!,2 8846,"City Hall? (Pans In) Oh, my god.",4 8847,"I mean, I shouldn't be surprised. Clearly, he wants nothing to do with me.",0 8848,Sorry. I don't get in vans with strangers.,1 8849,"The honeymoon phase may be over, but now you can get down to business. And honestly, it's the best part.",2 8850,"Although, I'm gonna be hitting it pretty soon.",3 8851,"The jokes about magic, the stormtrooper...",0 8852,It's good. It's good.,3 8853,You don't want to get married.,1 8854,"Sex, "He says he loves you, but do not want to say the same."",4 8855,"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?",0 8856,The women hot there?,0 8857,"I feel the same. And yet, strangely different.",3 8858,"So we can sit around and cry, or we can run, and do awesome air kicks before our leg gets chopped off.",1 8859,You're welcome... Earth. Phase two: GNB. Tomorrow I'm going to make a presentation in front of the board about how we can cut our carbon footprint by half for only $12 million.,3 8860,Do you mind?,0 8861,I broke up with Karen.,1 8862,"Okay, okay. You know what, what does that even prove, okay? You chant anything, people we join in. (Chanting) Canada, Canada, Canada, Cana... Okay, they won't chant anything.",4 8863,A cocktail she invented herself.,3 8864,Fine.,2 8865,"We will not make jokes, Ted. I mean, this girl must really be in the hole.",2 8866,"Look, don't you think you're being a little impulsive marrying a guy you just met a few months ago?",1 8867,And it's pissed.,2 8868,"I'm not kidding! Oh, by the way, Arthur, uh, how are things with you and your wife?",0 8869,I guess we're going home.,1 8870,"With my father, no mercy and I did not ask. I really need to call this guy. Continue stretching!",3 8871,I did not specify on what scale.,4 8872,"Hey, guys!",0 8873,You look pretty.,3 8874,"Yeah, she has a pile of debt the size of mount... Rushmore",4 8875,Told them what?,1 8876,"Honey, you did it!",2 8877,That's great. You're right. Roomies! I love it.,1 8878,How do you know he'll call?,3 8879,Come on... Just a cup of coffee. (Pretending the sock monkey's talking) Please Natalie. Give the guy a chance. (Natalie looks at the sock monkey) Self respect is over-rated! (Monkey raises right arm as though it's a fact. Natalie laughs),1 8880,Bill Pepper? Mm-hmm. Kind of a coincidence there happens to be a bill and a pepper shaker here on the table. Any chance you and Bill had a three-way with Fork Napkin? It's someone we know!,2 8881,You know what it might be. This is gonna sound a little crazy but what if robin's married?,3 8882,"So, I have the job.",4 8883,Welcome.,1 8884,Sorry.,1 8885,"I'll tell you, I will eat more chops.",3 8886,"Yeah, I thought we could finally go talk, and you're not listening to me, so I'm going to walk away. (notices Lily is busy staring at a stranger)",4 8887,We had a friendly discussion and we resumed our respective paths.,1 8888,I yawned like a million times trying to get him to leave.,4 8889,Yes.,3 8890,"When I was a kid, I had a dog named Bean. Whenever he made the face that you're making right now, you just knew he pooped somewhere in the house. Where's the poop, Robin?",2 8891,"Yeah, definitely. I mean, so does Shocky.",1 8892,"Oh, that's cool, I was gonna get outta here anyway, I'm really tired.",1 8893,The daughter of the lottery is there.,0 8894,Hello?,3 8895,I'm not gonna cheat on my girlfriend.,3 8896,"It is not a date,okay. It's just two bros taking in a Broadway show.",3 8897,It's OK. Later.,3 8898,"Marshall, I can't let you waste a suit this nice fighting a losing battle for our planet's survival. This is a suit for winners. I am getting you an interview at my office. We need good men like you in our legal department. We get sued a lot.",0 8899,"Hey, Robin. Come here!",1 8900,I don't know. I'm sorry. This is stupid.,1 8901,Thank you. You believe not just enter. Look! Look! Why not look at you! This is Slash from g*n N'Roses!,0 8902,"Everybody out, everybody out of the new car! Out of the new car!",1 8903,"Oh, Teddy boy.",4 8904,What better reason could there be?,3 8905,I was never going to take it.,2 8906,It's your fault. You took advice in love with Barney.,1 8907,Hmm... sausage party?,3 8908,Yeah you're good in that. Let's go.,0 8909,Who?,1 8910,"All right. So dude, check it. I'm in San Diego with two of my bro-sephs from Kappa, and they're all, "Yo, Eriksen, let's roll to the strip clubs." So I'm, like, "Snapadoo!" So we find this choice nudie nest near the airport......and that is when the bouncer kicked us out. Now, I have no idea if Svetlana ever got her green card, but dudes, fake diamond ring? Worth every penny, bruh.",3 8911,"Did you know that before intercourse, the male and female emperor penguins bow to each other? Mr. Penguin (bowing). Mrs. Penguin (boxing). Oh, God, silly penguins, acting all fancy. ( she laugs) What were we talking about?",4 8912,"Oh, you should go. I mean, you're not gonna take the job, but you might as well get a great meal out of the deal.",2 8913,Can we please get back together?,2 8914,"I'm trying to eat here, buddy.",1 8915,"Look, um... I know you're going through a lot right now. Getting divorced, being single, figuring out who you are on your own.",1 8916,Stop and think only of money.,3 8917,"But I can't reach the worst part. (He picks his phone and calls someone) Hi, Karen. Want to get coffee sometime?",1 8918,"Oh, well you did the right thing. I'm proud of you.",2 8919,"Oh, my God, I've lost the ability to talk to girls without the Internet.",1 8920,Who carries a duck's foot for good luck? Anyone?,3 8921,Yes.,4 8922,Anhedonic. It means you can't enjoy anything.,3 8923,"It's Barney. Wow. Really, dude, bravo. You almost got a peek. But seriously, what second-rate community theater did you get...?",3 8924,"In short, the arms of the Erasmus student have dropped and there fell of my swing. Seriously, I have not found a girl who can do that from Robin.",0 8925,"Do you believe? He says it's my fault. And by the way, Ted, I bet she go out with you again.",2 8926,Now you mention the movie.,1 8927,"Yeah, so?",1 8928,Robin.,4 8929,"One of your best friends. The point is, maybe it's time for some healthy communication.",4 8930,Oh come on!,0 8931,"Yes, but my apartment is close to the Metro.",1 8932,Bye mom.,1 8933,"Aren't you a little worried that a certain somebody might find out that you're doing this? This isn't you, Ted.",3 8934,We have to find Ted a wife. We're being too choosey. It almost doesn't matter who it is at this point. (both look over at Barney's phone),3 8935,"Look at this meatball. He's headed right towards me, showing me no respect. Well, if he wants to play chicken, this rooster ain't backing down! Oh. Mirror.",3 8936,Vegas.,0 8937,Now known as a real customer.,4 8938,Yeah.,1 8939,"Baby? Uh, you know, I hadn't really thought about it at all.",2 8940,"Oh, my God!",2 8941,"What's the matter with you? I'm his girlfriend, and I'm not even trying that hard. Way to wreck the curve, kiss-ass.",4 8942,It's really not such a big deal. I mean it's the odds. It's like you lost the lottery.,1 8943,Somebody spilled gorgeous all over it. Love it!,2 8944,"Yes, I'm lovely, beautiful and brilliant, but it's enough?",2 8945,You're the lemon in your hair.,3 8946,"The Jerky Boys aren't funny, they are awful.",2 8947,And when we saw my cousin and her baby? She's so cute!,1 8948,Why did I say that? I think frosting makes me lie.,1 8949,And we miss you. But the cousin thing mostly. Let's get that going.,1 8950,"And, Lil,Marshall shouldn't have to go to so much trouble just to have an innocent fantasy.",0 8951,Let me ask you something Ted. Why are you so much madder at Barney than me?,4 8952,"It's good to see you, Lily.",0 8953,What?,0 8954,The pants.,4 8955,"I'll call you. You look beautiful, by the way. And here I thought it was too late for sundresses.",0 8956,"(picks up) Hey, baby...",0 8957,"Am I? No I'm not. I'm a news anchor. Smiling's a part of the job. Thousands died in a tragic avalanche today. See? You're smiling, too.",4 8958,"No, Shut up shut down. I can't believe I don't know the clubs anymore.",0 8959,"It's fantastic. Just for fun, Ted's been working on his own design. And it doesn't look at all like male genitalia. At least, not healthy male genitalia.",4 8960,"No, because I now realize it isn't my destiny to win the belt. It is my destiny to help my friend win it. Ted is fated to go there first. He is our Neil Armstrong. (laughs) Space-suit-up, Ted, 'cause you're going to the moon. Step 1.",0 8961,"Okay, fella. Baby knows how this game's played. How's a $20 help your memory?",2 8962,"Listen, um, about Barney...",3 8963,It haunts me.,3 8964,Thank you.,3 8965,"It's crazy that last week, it happened the same with our toothbrushes.",3 8966,You're too young. This isn't fair.,2 8967,"Hey, we always have our market 40 years? If you are still only 40 years...",1 8968,I just had a little "screw up my knee and it hurts" incident.,0 8969,What was that?,0 8970,It was silky... and hard as a branch of starfish,3 8971,It smells like hair!,2 8972,Only if she sleeps in the bed and i sleep on the couch.,0 8973,Which is all gone.,1 8974,"Okay, that's not too bad. Two single guys on the prowl. It'll be like "Wedding crashers".",1 8975,"I gotta admit, it is really nice to be outside.",3 8976,"Sugar snap pea? Pea... That reminds me, I have to pee.",2 8977,Sorry. Wrong number. Finished with that.,4 8978,"PJ is a guy? PJ, this is not a hottie you f*ck?",0 8979,Don't care.,4 8980,"You're right. Tomorrow, I'm quitting GNB.",3 8981,"Except where everyone ended up spending the best night of his life, then we put the chairs on the tables and pulled out the margarita fountain.",1 8982,It's Ted.,1 8983,"Oh, come on. That wasn't my fault. And need I remind you, I gave a beautiful toast.",1 8984,"Well, here's our screwdriver now. (Barney opens the door, then whispers loudly:) Guys, I'm pretty sure that's not Luis, but I can't be certain. Someone introduce yourself.",0 8985,It looks to me like cutesy and romantic. Box strip?,0 8986,"Man, birds do not get you.",3 8987,Hey. What's wrong?,0 8988,Fine.,3 8989,"Well, obviously, I've been proven right, so in the interest of Robin's dignity, I won't show anymore. Plus, it's getting late. It's already slap o'clock.",0 8990,I need a drink.,1 8991,"Voluntarily, you abandon your p*rn...? You're really serious.",2 8992,I'll design it for half of what you're paying the other architect. And you know I will do stuff they would never do. Lobby stuff.,1 8993,You're right. There must be a mistake.,4 8994,"But see-at least, tonight, I get to sleep knowing, Marshall and Me... never going to happen. You should've kissed her.",0 8995,"Thanks, Robin.",0 8996,Way to go.,3 8997,"Actually, I'm not sure.",1 8998,I... I'm so sorry.,1 8999,"Ted, of all the women in New York, you had to go out with an eight-year-old girl?",4 9000,"Well, why did you have to throw your beautiful boobs at me? You know you have... boobs.",3 9001,Did you have to laugh like that every time? Robin: Yes.,0 9002,When you played third base for the softball team GNB.,3 9003,What does it mean to be a reporter for you?,0 9004,"Who, the guy who kisses an urn full of ashes costume. This guy?",2 9005,Yesterday I was with this girl so sexy that pharma should call a doctor if you have no erection for more than 4h. I have no reason people?,0 9006,Last night got weird.,3 9007,Asian girls love them some Jews.,0 9008,"I'm gonna stop you right here, Marshall. You name a chubby white kid "LeBron," and he's the one getting stuffed in the basketball hoop.",1 9009,"You wait for the next crisis, the rules you, you're a hero.After, you dealt with on about Robin, but this time she will say yes.",2 9010,And the "Captain Morgan"?,1 9011,So you went to a strip club?,2 9012,"So... when she said love me, she meant... otherwise.",0 9013,Our toothbrush?,1 9014,Sold.,3 9015,Right?,4 9016,I have to do this face-to-face. I just... I don't know what I'm going to say!,1 9017,"On the contrary. Why do you think the Woo Woos have to when they win a drinking game? Or when a guy takes off his g*n t-shirt? Because that's all that life brings. These are...People really sad. And when she go out with someone who has it all, someone like you, it's disappointing. It takes them Woo.",4 9018,"Oh, it's at a mall? I'm not going.",4 9019,You noticed that Barney is weird lately?,2 9020,Do it helped you feel better?,2 9021,"Hey, Marshall. You up for some super loud, repetitive music that hasn't changed since the mid-90s?",1 9022,Just stop. You're bumming everybody out.,1 9023,"Oh, my! Look at that. That means we're in the final hour of the countdown.",3 9024,"We get up, f*ck. You remember last night?",4 9025,What up! Freeze frame high five!,0 9026,She's alone! There's still time! But where the hell is Ted?,0 9027,Cheap Trick? Oh Ted.,3 9028,"No, that's fine.",1 9029,No. Absolutely not.,1 9030,I don't want to talk about it.,0 9031,No chance.,2 9032,"Oh, well, you know, it's not a show. It's the news.",4 9033,Let me guess. It's somewhere far away.,1 9034,"Baby, you're an angel, but compared to this woman, I am a big trash bag 3 days.",2 9035,"Yeah, that was a bit. We were doing a bit.",0 9036,"Oh, oh, oh, you want us to say your name and un-jinx you?",2 9037,But this is the first time she's meeting me.,4 9038,"Ever, like, stick your head inside it?",0 9039,I see what this is about. Have you forgotten what I said to you the night we met?,0 9040,"As in a tree? No, it was not done in a tree. What is his problem?",1 9041,Oh.,1 9042,"Oh, yeah, definitely.",3 9043,We all ended up at the bar with our cab driver Ranjit.,1 9044,This bar is like home to us.,1 9045,"Well, we did promise them one dance.",4 9046,"Exactly! Ted, let's wrap. Statistic, at every New York party there's always a girl who has no idea whose party she's at. She knows no one you know, and you will never see her again. Do you see-where I'm going-hu-with this?",0 9047,Your age on arrival in New York after a photographer you have "discovered" to be published in Vogue.,0 9048,So go to the bathroom.,0 9049,I didn't check 'plus one'. You were right. Barney: Of course I was right.,1 9050,"Wow, she crawls fast.

I saw you at orientation and I needed an excuse to meet you, so...",2 9098,"Okay, Robin, your roll. Five! Another Autobiography... for the player to your left, which... Victoria!",3 9099,""Yes. The Arcadian should be a landmark." And then the crowd gasps: "Oh, my God! Did he really just say that? Oh, heavens! Oh, my stars! I must clutch my pearls!"",1 9100,And now everyone calls me Scherpoopie. It's not funny.,4 9101,"And when Honeywell starts trusting your stamp again, he'll seek out your opinion on things.",2 9102,Do guys really think this is me?,4 9103,Good to see you.,3 9104,She ruined crossword day! I can't believe this. She singles me out by name. Calls me a "fat cat." Me and my "fat-cat friends." We're not fat cats.,1 9105,"Yes it was, at the freshman orientation party.",1 9106,Hey.,2 9107,Not "Rob.",2 9108,Meeker doesn't hate you.,2 9109,"So, uh, I just met with the contractor. and it turns out, that fixing the floors of the new apartment is going to cost a lot more than the estimate.",3 9110,I talk to my friend who is going through a difficult period.,2 9111,"It is rather a hurry, so we'll take the beer.",2 9112,"Well, she-she said I hooked up with her? What was her name? What did she look like?",0 9113,17. He always reverse.,1 9114,Of course not. It's a two-day job.,0 9115,"No, tonight.",4 9116,"Look, it's a private thing between me and Ted.",4 9117,Aren't we supposed to go on a double date with Ted?,3 9118,This is ridiculous. It changed his mind.,2 9119,"Come on, Ted, who are you going to listen to? Me or Mr. Goody-goody over there.",0 9120,That was close.,0 9121,A painting fellowship?,3 9122,"No, he wouldn't.",0 9123,"I know, and, look, he seems plenty nice, but I didn't mean bring home the first guy you bump into on the street.",3 9124,"You abandoned easily. Game, set and match!",1 9125,"OK, I've got it. Here, put on this eye patch.",0 9126,"OK, ask this guy. Nine years he's been with Lily. He's the pro. This guy knows relationships. Tell him, Marshall.",1 9127,"But? Lily: Fine, but he has a kid.",1 9128,"Marshall, come on.",1 9129,"I've been hooked. Lisa Walker. See the scene... In 1994, St. Cloud, Minnesota.",3 9130,"Maybe because I've always been faithful, while you... I love you...",1 9131,Challenge accepted.,0 9132,What Marshall is going to buy a horse.,1 9133,Of course not.,0 9134,I swear.,0 9135,"Hello, this is Robin Scherbatsky.",4 9136,I forgot. You have a bringest me.,3 9137,Where's the poop?,2 9138,What was that?,4 9139,"Sure, I'll just summarize it. (imitating squeaky bedsprings)",0 9140,Your challenge not interest me but you're cheating. Wear a suit under the overalls.,4 9141,But I thought you talk to your dad about everything.,4 9142,I miss Barney. I haven't "high five" with anyone like a week. I think I might be starting to lose my fist bone careless.,3 9143,And you never thought to say?,0 9144,"All right, what if I ask Robin point-blank if she has a husband?",1 9145,I was at this Halloween party up on the roof of our building. I'm about to call it an early night when out of nowhere appeared this girl in the sexiest pumpkin costume.,1 9146,How are you?,3 9147,No.,4 9148,Don't worry about me. I'll get in. Oh... I'll get in.,0 9149,18 minutes...,1 9150,Why is that?,4 9151,What?,1 9152,"I know. For whatever reason, Mr. Druthers just doesn't see it.",1 9153,"And then watch out, because it is on!",3 9154,"On the night of July 2nd, 1947, conditions were clear over Roswell, New Mexico.",3 9155,Oh.,0 9156,I think I just had my first burg-asm.,2 9157,You're Ted Mosby. You do it again to believe it.,4 9158,I don't care how unpleasant it is. You have to talk to him.,4 9159,Hello.,2 9160,"Right. But I'm the bride, so I win.",2 9161,Does anyone know who won the Superbowl?,0 9162,Where is Barney?,3 9163,No one.,1 9164,(On Phone) You're going to Philly? Why...,2 9165,"I don't believe this, Claudia is crazy.",1 9166,I'm gonna drive her home like a pack of...,2 9167,Two: "Proper g*n Cleaning and Maintenance.",1 9168,What?,2 9169,"... hat cowboy. Listen, I need this job. I have no other option.",1 9170,Is Arthur a*tillery? Your former leader.,1 9171,We only lied to you to make you realize that you want this job.,0 9172,I've done it again!,3 9173,We're the same height.,1 9174,"Maybe. Don't tell Lily, okay?",3 9175,Really.,1 9176,What?,1 9177,It is getting it soon.,4 9178,"If I got a celebrity, it would be Lily. This is the star of my heart.",3 9179,Exchanges and compromise...,0 9180,"(Doing "I see you" hand motion) Ted, Ted, Ted. Right here. You keep going to the same bar, you're in a rut and I am a rut buster. I'm going to bust your rut (Smiles).",0 9181,"...daddy! Legendaddy! The man is a god. And he's still out there, living the dream.",0 9182,"Tomorrow morning, Barney's going to send out the package, and Butterfield's going to be knee-deep in angry white mice. Oh, hey, dude.",3 9183,No one knows. It was a mysterious and awesome DJ.,1 9184,"'twas the night before, I had hours to k*ll. (the whole story is illustrated with images) I sat in the tavern, grading parchments with quill.",1 9185,"Dude, dude, what are you doing?",3 9186,Don't worry. I'm sure that everyone will get it's a joke.,4 9187,"If she goes to her, why you go to...? Oh, my God. Tony lives in the city center. "At home" is Tony's apartment. She would move in with me in New Jersey and moved to town, Tony? The bitch!",1 9188,The show! Sorry. It happened something?,0 9189,I can't believe you sent them one of those. They think we're insane now.,2 9190,"Hi, there. We've had a lot of fun tonight, but on a more serious note, this is the time of year when we remember the importance of giving. And there's no greater gift than the gift of booty. So, this holiday season, why not bang someone in need? I'm Barney Stinson, and that's... One to grow on.",0 9191,Oh no.,3 9192,"Barney, it's crazy.",2 9193,OK.,1 9194,"Ted and I, we lived. I know what he likes. There are things I can do it... he époustoufleraient Why do they sleep with Ted?",3 9195,"Thanks, I feel a lot better. Think I'll get that drink now.",4 9196,"Funny story, the other night, this little rascal had a nightmare. He came to tell us what it was, you remember what you said?",0 9197,"I'm back, baby doll! Ted: And I am gonna throw up.",1 9198,My elbow slipped!,0 9199,With your lips and everything...?,4 9200,Baffe-solument.,4 9201,It's so rude.,4 9202,Ted?,0 9203,"Sometimes, all you need is to get in touch with your feminine side. (We see Marshall sh**ting and laughing maniacally )",4 9204,Slow.,1 9205,Okay. I tell anyone.,3 9206,"You're hitting on someone right now, aren't you?",1 9207,In Argentina?,1 9208,"Look at them heading home after their dirty, filthy hookups.",3 9209,Uhm?,1 9210,"Well, it's too bad you're not gonna get some tonight.",1 9211,"Oh, cool.",0 9212,"I've realized that you forgot something this morning, so I thought I would bring thee: thy pen.",4 9213,"With Robin we went to the objects found in the prefecture and there, sitting in their fridge... Is this your turkey?",1 9214,There were two difficult months both. I have a room free.Why not come to me in the meantime?,1 9215,"Lily, we are Ted's best friends. Our job is to hate that guy.",3 9216,"No,Marshall, you must. And after an appropriate number of years, you should find someone else. Someone like that busty delivery girl from that one time. And plow her like a cornfield.",2 9217,"Well, a deal is a deal.",1 9218,"Last Thursday, the mustard? You have a goldfish memory.",3 9219,"Yeah! Let's do it! Uh, maybe fix the tie. But mostly, party!",0 9220,Dr. Stangel's office. I'm extremely fertile.,2 9221,I remember that.,0 9222,"All right, here's what you do: Put together a care package of stuff from New York-- some H&H bagels, an Empire State Building keychain... and then, top off the package with a New York Times... Ready? From three days ago.",4 9223,"My name is Marshall Eriksen. I'm 33 and if my potential future employer, Garrison Cootes, look at this... Prostrate to Biercules!",3 9224,What?,4 9225,The problem may be your CV. Have you seen like mine is ventilated? Yours is too busy.,1 9226,"Lily! We kind of had a plan tonight, remember? Candles? Banjo?",3 9227,Not that. You made the sound of the naked girl.,4 9228,He as*ault you naked?,2 9229,She did!,3 9230,What? You're being ridiculous.,1 9231,He panics and says the first thing that pops into his head.,4 9232,No way.,1 9233,The celebrities extend their clothes? I also extend my machine. (The man breaks the wall of the toilet where Marshall is located) Do not enter!,3 9234,Why does he get to be the best man? (Shouts out) I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND!,0 9235,It worked.,1 9236,Oh! Oh! Someone there mentioned generous donation? I'm Marshall Eriksen. But you can call me Biercules!,3 9237,Do it.,1 9238,Do strategies ever work for you?,1 9239,Get a hotel.,4 9240,"That's got to be it, right, Lil? Lil?",3 9241,"Yeah, I think you're right. Are you wearing a push-up bra?",3 9242,Their story is not as magical as it seems.,1 9243,"My dad was your wingman? This is really messing with my head. Barney, is... Is my dad cool?",1 9244,"It said: "Ownership of Minnesota police, Jorgensen."You like merguez, Jorgensen agent?",3 9245,That's his problem.,1 9246,"Hey, you know what, not every setup has a 'but'. What about, um, Jamie, that girl that Lily set you up with? She was really nice.",4 9247,"Lily, please, he's really cute and I really like him. And he's got a British accent.",4 9248,"God thank you, you're not my mother. You're an ice queen. All you have breastfed baby by a frozen brain.",1 9249,"Hello, everyone.",2 9250,"Uh, no, it doesn't.",0 9251,What?,0 9252,"No! Robin's deep-seated need for attention can traced back to her father's emotional distance, and no amount of success will ever make up for what she truly needs, which is six simple words from her Dad: "Robin, I'm proud of you, eh?"",0 9253,I was abandoned at the altar.,0 9254,What are you doing?,4 9255,"Yeah, you are.",4 9256,"Well, somebody had to.",4 9257,No.,1 9258,Don't do this Ted. Don't (He brushes his hair in a mess),1 9259,"Sorry, Trudy, go on.",1 9260,"Look, I know this is hard to understand, but right now, I have a quiet, simple, happy little life. And I like it that way. I know what my answer has to be.",1 9261,Ted Jenkins here.,3 9262,"Exactly, and I don't want to mess it up. I don't want you to ever wonder if was worth it.",1 9263,"Guys, come on. What is it?",3 9264,"I only made out with one other guy in college before I met Marshall, and it was just some random dude. I don't even remember his name. I just call him too-much-tongue guy.",2 9265,Yes.,0 9266,"OK, buddy. Sometimes people make bad decisions in life. Like your mother.",0 9267,"(still yelling) I liked it too, but it was getting kind of hot. Maybe in the winter, I'll grow it back out! (quietly) Okay, I'm done.",1 9268,Issues mother.,2 9269,"Okay, this is a good plan B. Judges are people. People go to the bathroom. A judge is bound to come by eventually, and we'll get married. I'm sure we won't be waiting long.",2 9270,You're really gonna pretend this never happened?,0 9271,"Shhh! Bring me the dirtiest, greasiest tuna melt you got. And a milkshake.",2 9272,"That's New Year's Eve for you. Well, look, we'll just swing by Moby's party and then afterwards...",1 9273,It was late August 1996,2 9274,"An accident? Well, is Uncle Rudy gonna be OK? Robin: Aunt Kathy's got an itch that only you can scratch, big boy.",0 9275,Repeat-a. The first seven!,0 9276,right on target.,3 9277,"Oh, so it's a metaphorical belt, right?",3 9278,"Even better, seeing him naked.",4 9279,"Hey, guys. What's going on?",4 9280,"But... you are an inspiration to us all, you are so dedicated and linked. I look at you, and that's all I want in the world.",1 9281,Good. 'Cause if you didn't......that would be mighty shellfish.,1 9282,I'm too upset to talk with him. I have to avoid the time I decide what I want.,4 9283,"How do you keep a girl from becoming your girlfriend? Simple, the rules for girls are the same as the rules for gremlins.",0 9284,"It's just... when I was young, I was so... vulnerable and-and open to things, you know? And... I guess I just... I wanted to feel that way again. I wanted to be 16 again.",4 9285,"Wow, this is kind of exciting. Our names will forever be shrouded...",1 9286,Freedom... No actually it tasted like pennies.,1 9287,Problem?! You can't get a girl pregnant. That's the dream. I'd give my firstborn to not be able to have children.,0 9288,Really?,1 9289,Damn it! Nothing's going to happen.,1 9290,"So, I was your backup plan. It's flattering.",1 9291,"Oh, indubitably! I'm meeting the first one here any minute. Keep your eyes pealed for a red sweater. Based on her texts, she's dirty, dyslexic and want to 96 me, semi-colon and parenthesis.",0 9292,I ran into Claudia and she told me I didn't check 'plus one' on the reply card.,1 9293,So?,3 9294,I wish your eyeballs would explode.,3 9295,"We're not really doing shots, are we?",1 9296,That's it?,3 9297,And I don't know which one to go for.,1 9298,"Yeah, sorry. I'm so clumsy! Oh, thank you. I think I twisted my ankle. Do what you can bring me some ice?",2 9299,"22 hours. No map. We'd just jump in the Fiero and drive. We were like Lewis and Clark, if Lewis and Clark peed in empty soda bottles and had a bong made out of a cantaloupe.",1 9300,Whatever.,0 9301,(Laughs) Heyow.,2 9302,"But, baby, you love biting your nails.",3 9303,What are you...? Come on. They're not going to stop 'til you give me your number.,0 9304,I guess it's 'cause we never hang out alone together.,3 9305,"That's all you, baby.",2 9306,Guess who is not lactose intolerant: Tyler. Tyler will go there and enjoy every bite.,0 9307,You can do it watching TV!,4 9308,"That does happen, like Ted.",2 9309,"I'm sorry, Ted. I am a New Yorker pure juice. I am programmed to despise and hate New Jersey and all it represents. Why I say that? You hate him more than anyone.",2 9310,So how do you do it?,0 9311,"I'll give you the teeth of happiness. A little here, a little there.",4 9312,"Vintage rolltop desk here. I haven't decided whether to put the fern on the right or the left side, but you know, sometimes you just gotta wing it. Right? Left side. Oh, and right outside, I want to put up a basketball hoop for the kids.",1 9313,"What are you gonna tell Marshall, huh? And when are you coming back?",1 9314,"One of the twenty-four similarities between girls and fish is that they're both attracted to shiny objects. You really never read my blog, do you?",0 9315,Thanks. You're the only one who's nice to me about this.,0 9316,That's just the pick-me-up I needed.,3 9317,Okay. I promise. I will call not before three days.,1 9318,"Look, I realize we've been down this road before, but the fact is, whatever I do, it all keeps coming back to Robin, so... I gotta do this. (Barney slaps him) Ow! What the hell?",1 9319,Me too. We separate?,4 9320,That's not the plan.,1 9321,"Oh, looks like Pocahontas has a couple of wounded knees.",3 9322,"It's OK. Can you imagine not traveling I did. I was on a plane, a whole day. But it was worth it to see you get married.How I would have missed it...",4 9323,"Okay, yeah. I know.",1 9324,"Well, I have good news. As you know, I recently decided to start out and see the girls.",1 9325,"Damn! I got these tickets like months ago for me and Lily and now I can't find anyone to go with me. This is what I miss about being in a couple. I always had someone to go to concerts with, or farmer's market, or brunch. God, I miss brunch!",3 9326,Like what?,2 9327,Mom. Stop.,0 9328,Marshall thinks you're a vampire.,1 9329,"You know, Ted has played cool, that's exactly what he should do. In fact, I would say on a scale of...",3 9330,"Millions. But when I go in search of a mirror or the remote because Lily and I had an argument and she has hidden there, whereupon I fall? Frozen waffles. It's like that. You go out to get the newspaper, but you come back with frozen waffles.And there, frozen waffles he's a guy. As long as you're there, you take it back frozen waffles? And there, frozen waffles are... frozen waffles.",3 9331,"Sorry, Lily.",1 9332,Free beer for everyone!,1 9333,"I'm sorry, Gayle?",1 9334,Wait. I still can't resist getting one last sh*t in.,2 9335,"Yeah,I know it's small, but it's got character. Thank you. And I am learning Lithuanian from my neighbors. They're great. They're always out there in the hall, you know, cooking and gambling and giving each other haircuts. It's nice.",2 9336,No argument.,1 9337,"I finished early, OK? (To Wendy) Five of those.",4 9338,She's gone!,4 9339,I'll tell you.,0 9340,Fine.,1 9341,Did that really bother you?,4 9342,"You said if I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't have to.",4 9343,(shy) Oops...,2 9344,Barney's phone... I wonder how it got in there?,1 9345,"I have no room. In fact, I thought I could stay with you.",4 9346,You sure are.,4 9347,Excuse me one second. (Barney leads Ted to the bar entrance) What is your problem? We will not see them play.,0 9348,That's what you think happened.,0 9349,Make a beautiful woman feel self-conscious and unattractive and she'll be putty in your hands.,3 9350,"No. Lily, what the hell is the matter with you?",3 9351,That's a seal.,3 9352,"Guys, guys, guys! Can I tell my news? It's pretty...",3 9353,"Right, so, um, they told me they threw it in the building's Dumpster.",3 9354,"Yes, Robin.",3 9355,Nailed it.,3 9356,"Uh, I have perhaps not been clear is the... Robin Ball Architects.This event is a very hip.",1 9357,"That night, I spoke to Lily.",3 9358,Okay. (He takes the bat discreetly.),3 9359,(On Phone) Don't you bet I get that a lot?,2 9360,"Honey, this magazine says more and more couples are opting to have nontraditional weddings out in the woods.",2 9361,"I'm not done. She likes dogs, Otis Redding, does the crossword. She's into sports, but not so much so that her legs are, like, more muscular than mine. That weirds me out. And she plays bass guitar like Kim Deal from the Pixies.",1 9362,You're on.,4 9363,I know. It's just fun to say.,3 9364,It will not go super hot date. It is you who will go.,0 9365,"Okay Okay, not a problem. He'll jack it up, slap on a tire and we'll be at party number three in no time.",1 9366,"This isn't kindergarten. Mr Druthers is an adult, and he wants his ball back.",1 9367,"Barney. It's a poem. A busty, young lassie flashed me a grin. Her garb said "classy," but her eyes whispered "sin." She said, "you're a teacher?" I said, "yes, indeed." "I must have you," she moaned."I'm turned on by tweed." With haste we did scamper to my chamber anon. We fell to the couch, and, bro, it was on. I unlaced her bodice. Our passions grew deeper. And thus ends the tale of the sexless innkeeper.",1 9368,I'm off to the airport.,4 9369,"I know it's hard, baby, but I'm in a prison too.Imprisoned in my heart. This room is ready or what? We can...?",0 9370,"This is a joke, right? You don't actually volunteer here.",4 9371,Look at this.,3 9372,Tell Claudia I'm sorry. Did she seem pissed at me?,1 9373,On the eye? Barney: Yes.,1 9374,Nothing.,4 9375,But umm?,4 9376,"Yeah, actually, there's another reason that I didn't go home with her.",1 9377,"My friend's dad passed away from a sudden heart attack. So I'm just getting myself checked out, too.",0 9378,It sounds kinda like peer pressure.,2 9379,I confirm. You can cross your legs?,1 9380,"Oh, great, okay. I don't want my Game Boy to crap out. I'm having the sickest Dr. Mario run of my life. Okay. I'll be right back. I love you, Lily. Okay. You're the best, Mom.",3 9381,"Canadian p*rn. Trust me when I tell you their universal health care system doesn't cover breast implants. If I have to sit through one more flat-chested Nova Scotian riding a Mountie on the back of a Zamboni, I'll go "oat" of my mind.",0 9382,"So, I had a great time, too.",2 9383,Neither one is giving ground. I could not tell who was the third wheel.,2 9384,Louisa. What can we do about it? Do not like you not understand. You feel the same. After all!,1 9385,I bet he will love it.,2 9386,"Perfect. Just to be safe, I'll get there like 8:00, 8:30.",1 9387,"Yeah, I can't believe you let her and Lily go to the ladies' room together, man. Secrets come out in there.",3 9388,"Okay, I got the veil. She wasn't ready to be married. All right, let's talk bachelor party. Are we thinking full-on strip club, or should we rent a room and have a private toy show?",0 9389,Yeah. I know that.,1 9390,"It's not a competition. Now, your 80-day ballon race around the world, that was a competition.",2 9391,You like Ted. Wow. This is huge.,0 9392,"Gosh, I hope you're the father. Just a little joke to lighten up the mood.",2 9393,So if we continued the evening up there?,2 9394,"Good for you. Ted Mosby does not take advantage of poor, helpless honeys.",4 9395,"No, I'm not. I can't be anyone's boyfriend, Robin. If I got serious with Nora, it would be like if Mother Teresa focused all her attention on one really hot orphan. With great penis comes great responsibility.",0 9396,Nora...,0 9397,She's so cute and she's so smart.,2 9398,"Ted, do not do that...",3 9399,"Yeah, but here's the funny thing. By that point, I didn't have time to think about what kind of teacher I was going to be. I just got up there and talked about architecture. And it was kind of great.",1 9400,"So, Captain. How'd you get that name, anyway?",1 9401,"Oh, thank you so much.",2 9402,"Life is full of changes. One day you have an apartment, the next day it's a house of dumplings. But the important stuff doesn't change. To the important stuff.",2 9403,"Congrats, that's so cool.",2 9404,"Barney, there's condoms in the drawer. Just take them and get out.",1 9405,I'm not playing laser tag.,3 9406,That's it. A house of horror.,4 9407,Ted!,4 9408,It's good enough!,1 9409,"You look so classy and nice. You're going to stick out like a sore thumb. Have you seen how the kids are dressing these days, with the Ashlee and the Lindsay and the Paris? They all dress like strippers. It's go ho or go home.",0 9410,"I know this is our second hot date but, Lily Aldrin, I will marry you.",3 9411,"No. Nope, I'm good. I don't need any milk.",2 9412,No.,0 9413,"All women of New York. That's right, Barney Stinson is back on the market. Mother, lock your daughters. Daughters, lock your MAQACENJaR.",0 9414,"Well, I love commitment. I wish i could marry commitment.",0 9415,"What? Ted: We're volunteers, we're unpaid help. Can you really ever have enough unpaid help?",4 9416,"Oh, crap. I don't have a veil. I'm a bride, I can't get married without a veil. And a bouquet. I need a veil and a bouquet. Oh, my God, we're getting married.",2 9417,"Yeah, I was testing you and you failed, and now you're never gonna know why I never go to the mall. And it's good too.",4 9418,"True... But for these two... And, for that... Finally, for her... I'll stop wearing, wait...",0 9419,It's been five months for you too?,1 9420,I wish we were ninjas.,2 9421,"You're all wearing matching sweaters. That's cute. Look, I got to get going, Jerry. But, uh, this was great. Glad we did this.",0 9422,"Park Slope, Eighth and Eighth. Okay, here's where I left off with the last guy. See, I have a girlfriend, but I'm going over to this other girl's house...",1 9423,What?,2 9424,Pete has a small dick?,1 9425,How could you do that to Ted after all that happened with Stella? You are an egoist.,3 9426,You want me to tell all the lies I have told to put a woman in my bed?,0 9427,What?,1 9428,Maybe we should go back to being just friends.,0 9429,Right. The DMV it is.,1 9430,"(Silence) It did indeed, the party continues tonight. (Marshall grabs for him, Ted runs away) Yeah. Last night people were like, "KEEP IT GOIN' BRO! PARTY TRIFECTA!"",1 9431,(reading the new note slipped by Robin) "We're seeing where things are going.",3 9432,I'm bleeding internally.,1 9433,"Well, you must have done something. Why did you guys break up?",2 9434,Hey! How's the open marriage going? Who was the first one to get the five numbers?,1 9435,"I feel you, buddy.",1 9436,"Um, Ted, can I talk to you outside for a second?",4 9437,"I've never told anyone but I slept with the mother of my best friend. ",1 9438,"Cock-a-mouse. Part cockroach, part mouse. It used to live in our apartment. It must have settled here, and... Oh! Look, it had babies! Good for it.",1 9439,"Come on, tell me that happened to you on time?",3 9440,"Okay, you're making yourself crazy. It's Saturday night. Go out and do something.",4 9441,"False! You got to let the right answer in your pants, because that's exactly what did not happen.",1 9442,"What? Marshall: If dating is the game, then marriage is winning the game.",0 9443,"Wait, you're...",0 9444,"Oh, yes.",2 9445,"Let me tell you where I am... I want to sleep with a girl in order to remove this jumpsuit. (From Ted) Go, go. You gotta help me, I have to remove this damn thing.",0 9446,A little girl?,2 9447,"High heels chafe my shoulders. But you don't have to worry about that anymore. Ever since you got pregnant, you're just a big fat manatee.",0 9448,Cervezas? Did he fall?,1 9449,"Hey. Come on. I mean, just because her life went one way and yours went another, it doesn't make your life any worse.",2 9450,"Come on, Ted! I need my pictures! Only for today and I promise to never ever do. I suffered a lot of pressure. I need my paintings, Jack!",3 9451,"See, Marshall, if getting fired is an execution, at least the guy had a last meal. I promise you, tomorrow you'll feel a lot better.",0 9452,You're much ignored the problems of dental hygiene for a dozen years. And yet you seem to...,1 9453,"I'm sorry, dude, but you saw how stressed out she is.",3 9454,"Well, thank you. I mean, we've never been happier.",3 9455,"Oh, thanks, but I don't actually cry in front of people, or cry at all for that matter. Man, it's gross. Does everyone snot up this much when they cry?",4 9456,"Barney, are you awake? Barney?",4 9457,I'm losing interest in your story.,0 9458,"Okay, we have to get Lily out of that apartment. Her roommate is a raccoon.",1 9459,(pointing to Lily) Say what?!,3 9460,"(kissing his hand and looking up and ) This one's for you Lily. (to the delivery girl, opening his shirt) Where do I sign?",3 9461,"Probably not. I'm never here, so...",3 9462,The table! There was a table... Back. (The cameraman has fun throwing papers) were returned.,4 9463,No.,1 9464,This table just told me that you're an idiot.,4 9465,"Look, I'm sure he's in a better place. Now let's find you a sturdier ladder.",0 9466,You're answering it? He's answering it!,3 9467,"And I don't scream at my kids, none of whom have parents who work at marshall's firm.",2 9468,"Kiefer Sutherland, souvenir glasses, tights and a Pancake.",3 9469,"You think I wrote that? Oh, Marshall, don't you know the glorious history of the Bro Code?",0 9470,"Yeah, just the end.",1 9471,"Well, thank you. I mean, we've never been happier. Can't imagine anything bringing me down right now.",3 9472,I'm so happy. I do not know how we will keep this secret for three months.,3 9473,I know.,1 9474,"Machines are overrated, and someone needs to take them down a peg.",3 9475,But why am I the only one? How come Marshall isn't doing anything crazy?,2 9476,"I don't know, but we have plenty of chocolate here.",2 9477,"I know, I know. I already called an animal rescue, and they're going to come get her on Monday.",2 9478,Did you know? Whether you're fired?,0 9479,And what did you learn?,2 9480,(Whispers to Marshall) Simple no would have sufficed. (To Ranjit) She's lovely.,0 9481,Why wait till then?,1 9482,Not even if she's hot?,1 9483,Yeah. I think I need a drink.,0 9484,Come on! I'll teach you all my strategies!,0 9485,"She came to see you in college and when you had my back turned, she brought the guys in your room?",4 9486,"Okay, that does sound good. But it's dipping stuff in hot cheese with boring people.",3 9487,16 pm! Supper time.,1 9488,How are you?,4 9489,"Yeah, it turns out she was asleep in the front seat the whole time. Ranjit, why didn't you tell me?",0 9490,It is.,1 9491,Sounds great boys! Who wants chocolate pancakes?,2 9492,"All right, I'll give it back if you show him your plans.",2 9493,"I don't get it, man, Natalie is awesome.",3 9494,Apartheid?,1 9495,"San Francisco. But it's not like I'm going to do it. The dates conflict with the wedding. But I love painting, and I've always wondered if I'm any good. This was a way to find out. And the interview is tonight. In New Haven.",2 9496,That is: no sex before hot date 17th.,1 9497,What's the matter?,2 9498,"I'm in trouble, Ted. Ted, I'm freakin' out, man.",3 9499,"No, I don't. She's gross.",0 9500,"C! And that wasn't spanish, that was cup size! What up!",0 9501,You're gonna go play hockey?,2 9502,Do you think he's winning?,4 9503,"Robin, going, going on the roof! We said no smoking in the apartment... after that you have set fire by the pumps.",1 9504,Gruesome?,3 9505,"Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.",3 9506,"What? What happened to that, uh, cutlet you were grinding with?",1 9507,"Come on, they just got excited. They've been looking for couple best friends forever. Plus, I'm sure they weren't that bad.",1 9508,It is a good time. Not much traffic...,0 9509,"Told you. That Lily, she's a shrewd one.",0 9510,"I'm not k*ll the bar. Wendy the waitress has seen how i operate in this place. It is perfectly clear to everyone involved that this is nothing more than a temporary fling. (Wendy starves him, lovely) It's fiiine.",0 9511,"Well, did you guys at least talk about it?",2 9512,I'm not ready.,1 9513,You guys lied to me?,1 9514,"It's been years! You had to know, you lived with us.",3 9515,She wants me to live long.,0 9516,Did you Mystic Tan your calves?,2 9517,What action?,1 9518,"Ok, next tour for me.",4 9519,"I wouldn't dare. (Marshall starts crying) Marshall, no. We're on pause. There's no crying in Pauseland! Pauseland is a magical place, with... with popcorn shrimp mountains and butter sauce rivers! Damn it!",2 9520,Or... we remove our shirts.,0 9521,It's not look comfortable at all. You wear a tie.,3 9522,"Rob"? No.,2 9523,The cafe also. Sometimes she even puts a vase of fresh flowers.,3 9524,"We're just seeing a movie. If it seems at all weird, i'll back off.",1 9525,"Ranjit, take me to Gregor's.",0 9526,This is like telling Fonzie be cool.,4 9527,So this...,3 9528,"First, it was not what you think. Secondly, you got a guy playing with dolls.",1 9529,"Yeah, I got my first drop.",1 9530,"Then he gets this panicked look on his face, says, "I can't do this," and storms out.",2 9531,"Well, thanks, Stu, it's gonna be a great wedding.",1 9532,But before you can answer...You're hit in the neck with a blow dart fired by the ninja Zoey's ex-husband hired to assassinate you.,4 9533,"I know, this rules.",3 9534,No snakes on that plane.,3 9535,You know what you should do? You should call up the G-CWOKs and offer them a free painting if they throw a private art party for all their G-CWOK friends.,1 9536,"Yeah, if you say so, yeah.",4 9537,But I checked 'plus one'. I always check 'plus one'.,1 9538,"Come on, it's not weird.",1 9539,I'm sorry for saying all this stuff.,4 9540,Ow!,1 9541,"No, I mean I'm seriously going to k*ll him.",1 9542,"Okay, I've missed you. Not in a we're-going-to-make-out way, not even in an I-forgive-you way. Just in a I've-missed-you way.",4 9543,"Yeah, we did.",1 9544,"No one who scares. A tiny Beretta pink that goes with these cute sandals I just bought. In fact, our new credit card works.",2 9545,"No, Ted! What are you doing?",2 9546,I hate this guy.,1 9547,"Wow... thanks, Barney. You saved me. You saved us.",2 9548,"Wait, wait. I will find. Left.",2 9549,Tell us at least the weird thing he wanted to do.,0 9550,I do not know how to answer that.,2 9551,"So what, I should do anything?",1 9552,Barney's office. It was the fifth double.,3 9553,45. It gets a little tough.,2 9554,"The Teddy Bear, BarnExclussif.",4 9555,Did you ride his Zamboni?,0 9556,"How could you, my best friends in the world, hang out with my mortal enemy, then let her sleep in the tub where I clean myself?!",1 9557,Wow.,4 9558,"Although, you might want to bring out the big hawaiian drum because I'm pretty sure today's my birthday.",4 9559,You're not really looking for it?,1 9560,You lied to me!,1 9561,I'm just happy Robin's happy.,1 9562,It's a boom-a-wang.,2 9563,"Hey. Um, Lily, question for you. Why did I find Mr. Druthers' baseball signed three times by Pete Rose in your desk drawer?",1 9564,"What, you're a dinosaur?",3 9565,Kidney!,1 9566,"Yeah. Come on, Barney. It's just a cute little story about... What exactly is this about?",2 9567,"Dude, I am sincerely ticked at your dad right now.",0 9568,"Oh, my God!",2 9569,I'm saying I don't want to be friends anymore.,1 9570,"Our apartment is so crowded these days, I don't get a minute to myself!",2 9571,Whew.,1 9572,"Well, the only thing that carries the woman is skates with his hands.",4 9573,Guys?,1 9574,"good, then we've got a solid half hour. And in that time, we will convince you not to set foot out that door. It's a story older than time, my friend, and it always plays out in the same eight steps. Step 1: Attraction.",0 9575,"It's fantastic. Thank you, Mr Cootes.",3 9576,"We spent the weekend hugging the fireside. No black diamonds, nothing but red hearts. I'll unpack my bags.",4 9577,Is that you? You INTERVIEWED yourself?,1 9578,"The only reason I'm jealous of Bob is that I'm just an architect, but he discovered fire. How do you top that?",1 9579,"I'm frustrated. The least innovative thing in my drawings, Bilson cuts with a machete. I hate to depend on what kind of guy.",1 9580,It's not really my type.,0 9581,"Observe. I think there's a dynamic quality to the brushwork that, combined with the fluid composition, creates an almost Kandinsky-like emotional resonance.",1 9582,You share it? Your share forever.,1 9583,Not cool!,4 9584,"Last night, Robin left a pizza box lying on the floor, so we had sex three times.",1 9585,"Yeah, it'll be pretty hard now that she's dead.",4 9586,"You love her? What, you do call my romance? It's your strategy? Because this guy is gone. You can have me over like that. I am attached to nothing, thanks to you.",1 9587,We'll never sleep on thegouda again.,0 9588,"Well, I thought marriage was about two equal partners sharing a life together.",3 9589,"I'm not saying he loves pizza, but the last time he went, the doctor said, "stop eating pizza. "Marshall:" Why? "Doc:" To you examine. " But seriously, we laugh because we love you.",0 9590,"Well, it certainly was a first.",3 9591,You're not the dean.,3 9592,It says what?,4 9593,That's enough tables.,4 9594,I have not officially got the job.,4 9595,"Hmm. Wait, are you telling me that they actually have conventions for p*rn?",2 9596,"The co-pilot who jumps on the grenade to a friend.",1 9597,"But I have not done. So now, whenever I talk about Jenkins, I avoid pronouns.",3 9598,"I'm sorry. Being in a couple is hard and committing, making sacrifices, it's hard. But if it's the right person, then it's easy. Looking at that girl and knowing she's all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world. And if it's not like that, then she's not the one. I'm sorry.",3 9599,Hey. Guess what your wife brought home.,1 9600,"It happens, whatever you say. It is a law of nature.",1 9601,"No. And here's the secret, every time we say we're going to argue...",0 9602,"Yeah. You know, there's more to New York than Times Square. There's the Village, the Lower East Side, Central Park...",1 9603,Barney![End of the phone call],1 9604,And you met him at McLaren's?,2 9605,Exactly.,1 9606,"Sorry, Randy, but... this just isn't working out.",3 9607,I'm committed. I'm riding this wave straight to hell.,3 9608,There is another option... but you're not ready.,1 9609,Gamin.,1 9610,(signing) He's lying to you. Just give him a fake number.,1 9611,I'm not cool with it.,4 9612,Husband.,1 9613,"Yeah, the Barnacle.",0 9614,Hang on. It's Robin. She wants me to go to prom. Can Ted come?,3 9615,"Go ahead, just give him your social.",3 9616,Oh! Hi guys! Oh! My neck! Uh... oh! Hey! Look at this!,0 9617,"That's right, it's resplendent.",0 9618,"It's a foregone conclusion. Ted is Charlie Brown trying to sh**t and Karen, it's Lucy who takes away the ball at the last second and sleeping with. You have understood me.Ted falls in love, and Karen is going wrong with a playboy, who says... "Sorry, dude."",3 9619,I do remember that. I climbed up on that dude's lap and told him what I wanted for Christmas.,0 9620,"Whoa, they grow big out here.",4 9621,The shuttle's here!,3 9622,"It's not funny. The doctor said if it gets worse, I should have surgery.",3 9623,He is serious?,2 9624,"It's supposed to look like we're about to hook up, Robin.",0 9625,"Oh, stop it.",4 9626,"No! Y-You... Robin, Robin. I will pay you to be The Blitz. $100! No-- $10,000. No-- 60 bucks. That's a lot of money for someone like you.",0 9627,"In Cabo, I saw Sammy Hagar eating a Belgian waffle!",3 9628,We had just started dating. I was being nice.,4 9629,"No. I've never been to prom before, okay?",4 9630,"You didn't do it. Yes, you did. You did. No, you... Just tell me!",0 9631,"Wha... no, you have me confused with someone else.",1 9632,The 80's didn't come to Canada till like '93.,4 9633,The package. The house. The car. Sending your kids to a great school. A vacation once in a while.,0 9634,I'm sketchy?,1 9635,"(laughs) Time's running out, Scherbatsky. Last chance for the lemon law.",0 9636,"Wait. Why do you say that all of a sudden? My God, you're pregnant!",0 9637,What?,1 9638,That last bump just made me hit send.,4 9639,You don't know about Lily and Michelle?,1 9640,"The bathroom is. (His phone rings) You know what, I will respond.",4 9641,Because you're dead inside?,1 9642,About 20 minutes. Can't seem to shake it.,0 9643,Errrrrrr...I... OK.,4 9644,Yeah...,3 9645,"Lily, the restroom's the other way.",3 9646,Come off the bus from Iowa! How lucky that apprentice... dancer off the bus from Iowa... meeting... the producer of the Rockettes?,0 9647,Hey.,1 9648,"Look! I'm sorry that we have been dodging your calls, but we respect you guys too much as friends to give you some song and dance. You deserve the truth. (he sighs) The US Navy has found intelligent alien life at the bottom of the ocean. For reasons I can't explain, Robin and I have been tapped to lead the expedition.",0 9649,It's really happening?,1 9650,Thank you. I will make great photos of our group with that.,2 9651,It will not work.,4 9652,"Not without a chew toy from Uncle Barney first. And when I got back... I'm sorry,I'm already spoiling her but diamond in the rough... Could your heart just melt?",0 9653,You can not do this house!,4 9654,(Shows up) My bitches! Check this out. (To Doorman) They're with me. (Doorman allows them in),4 9655,(On Phone) Fine! (Hangs up),3 9656,You can not even give five.,0 9657,"No offence Randy, but there is a long list of candidats for this slot. This slot is for vice president of awesome. And you are like assistant under secretary of only ok.",0 9658,"Yes, totally. Yeah. Only thing, and this is just me--",0 9659,"Lily, the window is open. Fight your way, watercourse Ted, run!",1 9660,"Oh. Uh, I thought you, um... It's great.",4 9661,""For everything you do for your pear, for all the tape on your desk, on the road darkens your Porsche Carrera, I wish you... a night of threesome. Happy Birthday Non-Fathers. "",3 9662,"Wow, tha... that's an evocative metaphor to use for your nonthreatening, totally patriotic emotions. U.S.A.! Okay, Lily, I get it.",1 9663,"You're kidding. Barney, every time I mention a woman you don't know, the first thing you say is, "Boobs?" Not the complete sentence, "Does she have big boobs?" Which also would not be great. Just: "Boobs?"",2 9664,"Dude! That's my girlfriend. And ya know what? I'm on her side now, too.",1 9665,"Wait, were you here when I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night?",2 9666,"Actually, we all decided to stop.",3 9667,I don't hear anyth...Ted (going out of the bedroom): He's calling her! (Tackling Marshall) Argh!,4 9668,"For one thing, you cry openly.",2 9669,"Me, too. (Ted's phone starts ringing) Hey, Robin.",1 9670,"Well, i'm sick of all the rules! There's too many of them! The hot/crazy scale, the lemon law, the platinum rule! If everyone in the world followed every one of your rules, the human race would cease to exist. Yes chances are to Stella and I are not going to live happily ever after the overwhelming odds have it ending badly. And when that happens, it'll be for one of a million possible reasons. But that doesn't mean i'm not gonna try. And when it does fail, so help me god, it's not gonna be because of some rule. (He watches himself in th mirror) PS: you just made my hair look awesome. Good night. (He leaves)",1 9671,THEY PLAYED SOME GOOD SONGS TONIGHT.,0 9672,No. You know what? Papa don't back down from a fight. So why don't you tell Robin... about this!,3 9673,I still think about him in the shower.,4 9674,"Well, um, I better get back to these styrofoam trees.",1 9675,"Oh, honey.",3 9676,Are you asking what I think you're asking?,1 9677,"Part shopping. Leave a message, you are reminded...",0 9678,By yourself?,2 9679,"(on Phone) Man, I wish I could, guys, but...",3 9680,Dale you called?,1 9681,"A 20% tip, really, for that waiter?",0 9682,"Dude, you are so in. That is so awesome. A high five doesn't even cut it. High six!",0 9683,"Yeah, okay. It's just that... You know, I want to spend time with you, with my friends. I seem to spend my life on the train.",1 9684,You can't call g*n for eternity.,4 9685,A friend of yours named you?,1 9686,That's why we're all here. For Robin to deter...,0 9687,How did you find Glitter?,2 9688,"I was polite. If someone will slap, it will be me.",1 9689,"Barney, what are you doing here?",1 9690,"My dad made out with Wendy the waitress? He cheated on my mom? No, that's impossible.",1 9691,I know. I know all about it. It's not gonna happen with you and me. And I'm sorry I've been going crazy with this baby stuff. I know you hate babies.,2 9692,"She's probably on the subway by now. You could call her Voice Mail. Beep, dumped. Click. Done!",0 9693,"I was lying, bastard! Go ahead, jump! I hope u gonna die!",2 9694,"Look, I can't do business with people who lie to me.",1 9695,Uh... I'm here to meet your parents. They must be dying to meet me after all the legendary Barney stories you've told them.,0 9696,"Michael was next to me in Biology. It was a failure for the entire college, but the summer before the third, he grew 30 cm and joined the baseball team. It was becoming a cool guy.Until one day...",2 9697,What? Too-much-tongue guy? I'm not surprised to hear that coming from unreasonably-small-mouth-opening girl.,1 9698,"I can share dessert. He better want the brownie sundae, but yeah, yeah, I can totally share.",4 9699,That's right. I saw it with my sister.,1 9700,"Oh, Marshall, you only think you're happy. Just wait, because tonight, (imitating Oprah) is Barney's Favorite Things!",0 9701,Close your eyes.,4 9702,"Guys, there was no monkey! He was a man with a g*n.",3 9703,"I'd ask you how last night went, but we had a pop quiz today. Nobody got higher than a c-minus.",3 9704,"I see what happens. You, my friend, you suffer from a disease little known... "little known" because I just invented it... called Adequacy of New Relationship. Robin, you are in your honeymoon stage. Everything is perfect. The songs on the radio talking about you. Other couples are concerned. Enjoy it. The SNR does not last forever.",1 9705,"Okay, but I don't want you expecting 78 storeys or anything. (They kiss again)",1 9706,I peed in an alley which happened to have a church which I did not see because I was drunk.,0 9707,Ted's my best friend.,3 9708,Damn. This is Barney.,1 9709,"He understood, there is little time, he could hold a conversation with just the titles of sitcoms "black" of the 70s and 80s.",1 9710,"When I leave the job, it is 5:30 am. Got an idea of guys I meet?",4 9711,(On Phone) Well it sounds like you're having a lot more fun than I am. I'm just talking to guys' backs while they hit on Robin.,2 9712,"If you want to sleep with Van Halen, do it on your spare time. We're not guys who-could-come-you-see. It is the other guys, those older, who ever came and whose recognition is required.",0 9713,This brain is unstoppable. This brain...,1 9714,So these guys think I chickened out. What do you think?,1 9715,"Eriksen residence, Marshall speaking... Listen, Robin. I know. I apologize for my wife. She never should have...",3 9716,"Thank you, baby. You're the best.",3 9717,Nope.,2 9718,You'll get this back at the end of class.,2 9719,Forget it. There is no chemistry between Barney and me. It's over.,4 9720,We believe in it all.,4 9721,"Just tell me one thing. Why Tony? I mean, it's money, pajamas kung fu? Finally... What is it?",1 9722,Congratulations.,1 9723,"You know... Light, color, balance, aperture...",2 9724,"I can't right now, 'cause my mom needs me.",3 9725,What!? Where did you get it?,3 9726,I do not want to play Edward bottles money.,3 9727,It's me. You're welcome.,1 9728,"Look, us breaking up, it was the right thing. But it took some time to get over you, you know? I-I'm still getting over you. But you, you were over it the minute they started the in-flight movie.",1 9729,That's nothing compared to this crazy thing with Karen.Ends.,2 9730,Yes.,1 9731,"I know. As not to become huge, that sort of thing.",1 9732,What?,3 9733,Who?,0 9734,Oh yes it can.,0 9735,Okay. Let's listen to it again.,1 9736,I cannot allow Ted to do this.,0 9737,"I'm fine, I'm fine.",4 9738,"Wow, she nursed you back to health?",2 9739,Wanna drink the melty part?,4 9740,"Wait, eight years, that's, that's this year.",3 9741,"You're getting on board with Barney's idea? Man, you really have snapped.",1 9742,"Barney, stop lying. You can not put another end because the conclusion does not satisfy you.",1 9743,I'm really sorry.,2 9744,"Cute kid (wipes forehead) Um yeah it's f-it's so funny running into your we're having a party next Friday if-if you like swinging by! But, you know, whatever.",1 9745,"Guys, I'm sure the dog had to soaring after swallowing the tablet X. Too good! Go!",0 9746,"(On Phone) No, Marshall, we're going back.",1 9747,Oh is that right?,3 9748,Marshall? Sidebar. Your tie is steak sauce. It means A-1. A-1? Get it? Try to keep up.,0 9749,What? You are over your hand issues. It's about time.,0 9750,"Me too! (Followed by Barney) Guys... watch what face. The next time you see it, it will be distorted as the sexiest possible. Because that's what I am: a real man. I like to fight and do battle in the dirt. You find me a wooden hanger for that?",0 9751,Horrible.,0 9752,My robot was... a thousand times better.,3 9753,"Which is exactly how much time I need. Ranjit, stop the car.",2 9754,Or you helped steal the sixth floor. They were in a hurry and left the pictures.,4 9755,"Well, then, I'd like to say something. If that's cool? Um... today, Lily did something great. Not only did she gather us all here together and cook a delicious meal, but she also started a new tradition. We're gonna do this again next year, and the year after that... maybe for the rest of our lives. I think that's pretty amazing if you think about it. And it's all thanks to you,Lily. I love you. So, to the first of many Thanksgivings together.",3 9756,What has he?,2 9757,"Oh, here's a good one. "Top Five Things Never to Do Around Robin."",2 9758,"How did you find me, anyway?",4 9759,"Well, I mean, not exactly in those...",1 9760,Miss Lily in the living room with the chancellor.,2 9761,My God.,3 9762,"Listen to me, trust me, I fought hard. There is no pride to be learned.",3 9763,Robin Stinson!,0 9764,"Okay, I'm ready.",1 9765,"We"?,1 9766,Are you kidding?,1 9767,"What?! Wait, you...",0 9768,Why did I get so crazy about this?,2 9769,Yes. We are a family. So why these parties can not they be us?,2 9770,Hi everyone!,3 9771,We're good friends. Why risk everything? Friends?,0 9772,"False. You think the Santa Claus, because it was Christmas.",2 9773,"On our first date, I ordered a Greek salad; Lily asked if she could have my olives. I said, "Sure... I hate olives."",3 9774,Really? You want to eat here?,1 9775,"Of course. And that for me, too. Later, she spoke with Jerry, and the discussion was that it avoided breaking with me.",1 9776,I had no idea he had a deep down.,2 9777,"I don't have time to be creepy, dude. I have a lot of work to do.",3 9778,Where's this great TV?,1 9779,You guys will never believe what just happened to us.,2 9780,"Oh, wait, Ted. Do you have a specific reaction to any kind of alcohol?",2 9781,"It's not the best. We three, we'll work together.",0 9782,Have you booked a hotel room just to read a magazine?,4 9783,You should!,2 9784,"Relax, it was Doug. Doug supports us.",0 9785,"I want you to know tonight, as crazy as it was, took me out of my shell.",1 9786,"I'm sorry, but it is just so cute. I just want to cuddle him all day. Oh, yes.",2 9787,"Wait, so...",1 9788,"It's Barney. (To Barney, in the phone) Dude, seriously you need to stop calling me.",1 9789,"You're at home, every night, and Lily layer always with you?",0 9790,"Goliath National Bank. The world leader in credit and banking. God, I love Goliath National Bank!",0 9791,"Oh, it might be weird. We're kind of on a double date. Wouldn't want you to feel like a fifth and sixth wheel.",2 9792,"Follow me. Hey, Nick Swisher! This guy and his wife share a toothbrush!",1 9793,"Hey, Lily, can you toss me a beer?",3 9794,But the thing of the pack?,1 9795,"Lily, you're all been there. When we loose one, it's not pretty.",0 9796,"Wait wait wait, what belt?",3 9797,"I paid for it. And apparently money's tight now, so...",3 9798,"(worried) What have I done?

     

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F.D. » Transcripts » TV & Movie Transcripts » H » How I Met Your Mother



(chuckles) Now, uh, can you get this freak out of here? I'm really scared.",0 9875,"That was my cousin, Leslie.",0 9876,Same.,1 9877,Wow! You guys are getting married in two months.,1 9878,Shit.,4 9879,For crying out loud. You broke up with Robin?,3 9880,Nice.,1 9881,"Come on, Barney, this is not about the odds, this is about believing. This girl, she represents something to me, I don't know, hope.",1 9882,"Hey, Ted, you'll never guess what happened?",3 9883,Fine. I'll go get it.,2 9884,It's funny you mention the project. Because...,0 9885,No. That's why I brought these guys. (He gets several cards out of his inside pocket) I've made some minor improvements to your identities. Uh. Mm! You'll find them on these cards.,0 9886,This girl is special.,1 9887,I did check 'plus one'.,1 9888,"No way, I wonder why Ted didn't tell me about that. Like I said, I'm a huge reggae fan.",0 9889,She's moved on?,1 9890,"Seriously, this is nothing. I'm on it.",1 9891,Yeah.,4 9892,"Well... Uh, it's a... it's a funny thing about that...",1 9893,Mr. Druthers asked if you were making the trees or waiting for them to sprout on their own. Then he stared at me until I laughed.,2 9894,(Subtitle) There's Barney. I'm leaving. (Marshall wobbles over to Barney),1 9895,"Dude, it's just a wedding toast.",3 9896,"Oh, yeah.",4 9897,"Casey, that's not how we treat people. You'll get this back when you learn to be nice.",2 9898,"Yeah I got to agree. Duck's up, rabbit down.",4 9899,"Look at you. You got a girlfriend for 5 minutes and you think playing in the big leagues. Adorable. Son... I'm in a relationship for your ponytail and that you were playing the guitar with Dave Matthews Mom. I am a good boyfriend when I sleep. I can do a k*ll foot massage, hand and prepare a great chamomile on the other, which would make you cry. Damn, I know more about how to make popcorn and watch movies with Sandra Bullock in that you'll ever know, but thank you to worry, blue.",3 9900,That's it!,0 9901,"Well, it's got to be around here somewhere.",1 9902,"Yeah, it did.",3 9903,No.,2 9904,We will order food.,3 9905,"Um, to be honest, I'm getting a little freaked out about the idea of having a daughter. I know you two probably aren't the right people to talk to about this. You had all boys.",3 9906,"Dude, you lost us. Can't you just call it something cool like "the ninja report"?",1 9907,Tantrum!,3 9908,I know it did not work the first time...,4 9909,This is the worst.,0 9910,What?,3 9911,"No, okay? Me first. I've been pulling away from you, and I'm sorry. It's just, the last time my best friend had a baby...",4 9912,Pause.,3 9913,Mila Kunis?!,2 9914,Know something; I'd take a pee in the gutter over Julia Roberts any day. (They realize it sounds gross and laugh),2 9915,You always mycoses?,3 9916,"The more I delayed the launch of my box, the more it can remain a dream and not something that I screwed up. It's like if I quit before it began.",1 9917,And we must have a pool.,0 9918,No more dreams? Nothing disturbing or erotic?,0 9919,"Lily, what was the first rule again?",0 9920,"Oh, my God, Lily, please tell me you have to go pee!",1 9921,What is it?,0 9922,So... what do you think?,1 9923,Inspiration... do your work.,1 9924,"Nine or ten for most. There has been a 4 once. It was an easy girl.But, Nora, after that, I had to flee so fast. Honesty is good.",0 9925,"I can not work for large corporations with no heart. In selling me your "working group", I was the most inspired work of my career. In fact, you reminded me how my job could be fun when I'm not dealing with Bilson, so... I resigned.",1 9926,You were just thinking that this dinner is really boring. That's what made you think of your boring class in college.,3 9927,Sold.,3 9928,"Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get the yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity. It requires a level of connection and eye contact that sex just doesn't. Call me old-fashioned, but I need to have sex with a girl at least three times before I'll even consider having dinner with her.",0 9929,"I'm evolved, and I'm enjoying living my life a little bit closer to the way Gael and I did in Argentina.",4 9930,"Yeah, had to. See ya. (He leaves)",1 9931,Tell her how you feel?,3 9932,I was ready to jump the turnstile.,4 9933,"God, I love brunch.",3 9934,"I have the ninja report right here, but...",2 9935,There is a new crisis.,1 9936,"Oh, I thought the red sauce was like aweome.",3 9937,All that stuff was really nice!,4 9938,"No we're not getting divorced, not even on paper. Lily, when i married you, i married your problems too. The ones i knew about and the ones i didn't. So that was the deal, we'll figure this out together. (They kiss, the waitress comes)",3 9939,Wow! I really like that painting! It's neat! The-the colors are neat. The-the shapes are neat. It's really just... neat. What?,4 9940,No questions!

     

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F.D. » Transcripts » TV & Movie Transcripts » H » How I Met Your Mother



*What is this feelin' that's put you in your place a hot, red burnin' on the side of your face you feel the bl*od rush to your cheek. Tears start to fill your eyes and your lips are tremblin' but you can't speak,you're tryin', oh, you're tryin' not to cry! You just got sla-apped-oh, oh! Across the face, my friend-oh, oh, oh! You just got slapped. Yes, that really just happened. Everybody saw it and everybody laughed and clapped, it was awesome. Wait,you just got... slapped. Happy Slapsgiving, everybody.*",3 10073,I can't. The damage is done. Can you just hold me?,2 10074,"(On Phone) Yeah, we just got released and we're heading back on the next flight. Meet us at MacLaren's maybe we can still make last call.",1 10075,I think I know how to speed things up,3 10076,Only if you want to give this a stroke.,2 10077,Starts with it too.,3 10078,And the two little...,2 10079,A film of Barney begins like that.,1 10080,"Because he was naked. Sorry, but I disagree. There is only one reason to sleep with someone, and it is "love".Marshall is a big girl because he believes in love and read "And it was true" because the secretaries were forced to join the Oprah book club. But you know I'm right.",3 10081,"Yeah, she was.",0 10082,So what do you do?,1 10083,"Yes, but I'm okay with that.",2 10084,"Oh, I know just how to decide who.",3 10085,Ah!,0 10086,What? No! The panda and the koala Mahatma Luther King tell you that story to show...,3 10087,"No. If I was your mom, I woulsay, "We forbid you from seeing this boy."",2 10088,Violent... Viola...,3 10089,"Cute? I can draw concert halls and bridges. Bridges so beautiful they could be in museums. And I could draw these museums. But I draw, what instead? Where is my career? A two-story Stetson... with a terrace on the edge. It's a cosmic joke. The universe conspires against me.",1 10090,"Of course, I love you.",2 10091,I'm awesome. 200. Now what?,0 10092,Really?,4 10093,He asked you out?,2 10094,... one day she was taking a nap...,2 10095,I need another drink.,0 10096,"Penelope, this is the girl I love. If it doesn't rain this weekend, she's gonna end up with the wrong guy. Please.",1 10097,Now we all got to drink.,3 10098,I love it. I worked hard. It's nice to be appreciated at its true value.,3 10099,Yes!,0 10100,I just got a text from Robin. It says...,2 10101,"Okay, see you later.",1 10102,"Stu... Come on, man, I didn't recruit you to work here for your lawyering k*ll. I recruited you to be my executive mischief consultant.",0 10103,Nursery's painted!,3 10104,OK.,1 10105,"Not as much as me, Robin. Guys, guys! Guess what Robin has done.",0 10106,"Okay, Barney.",4 10107,My pleasure. Dear Barney... the future... This ink is too cool.,0 10108,You have to promise me you won't lie to Nora!,2 10109,She-she likes me?,1 10110,This is really bizarre. The only other famous Mosby I know was a confederate general during the civil w*r.,1 10111,"Every inch tasted like roast beef and creatine. But I did. I did and I still have 30 minutes before meeting with Petra.Robin, you have the foundation? I want to cover bruises and razor burn.",0 10112,So I wrote him a letter. And I poured my heart out. And I gave him my number and I told him to call me. And he still hasn't called me.,0 10113,Big-time manatee.,3 10114,"Well, if he needs a transplant, he can have mine. I'll be right there.",0 10115,"Oh, hey. You guys seen Russell? I'm supposed to drive him to his mom's funeral.",1 10116,Dude... don't poop where you eat.,0 10117,"Okay, babe, look, before you get mad, let me...",3 10118,It's a hole in your jacket?,4 10119,"As Lily not speaking to me, I must tell you something.And it's not easy to say, OK? I... wait... 'm... wait... love...wait... of... wait... a... wait... some... wait...",0 10120,Well why'd you guys break up?,4 10121,And that's why I avoid relationships.,4 10122,"You're my best friend, Barney.",1 10123,There's Where?,1 10124,"It is driving me crazy. When PJ was working, he was sexy. The keeper of the key toilet. A sexy guy that says when you can go to the bathroom or not? It's the dream.",4 10125,"I can not believe you take her part. Let me be clear. This man will never set foot in this house, ever!",2 10126,Fine. Um... oh! The green testicle story. So I was playing ultimate frisbee in college and there was this barefoot dude with weirdly sharp toenails...,1 10127,You know who might have something to say about Ted's future with Robin? Robin. Go wake her up.,2 10128,"She and Greg dated for a while and then split up. But here's the real kicker: Shannon's a mom. She has a little kid named Max. That's crazy. That could have been my kid. But instead, what do I have? My whole life's some money in the bank, some suits in my closet and a string of one-night stands.",0 10129,I said no. Robin Scherbatsky do not audition. He is given the job or anything.,0 10130,You are driving me crazy. No wonder your fake husband moved to Hong Kong.,1 10131,Surprise. We thought it would help to bring you to confront your abuser.,4 10132,"Marshall, I need to talk to you. Can we go somewhere in private?",2 10133,"Yes! There is one thing we can state with absolute certainly, it's that Marshall Eriksen is not going to die before writing that letter.",1 10134,"Oh, Barney, no, no. We said no fireballs at the table.",4 10135,Uh-huh. Wesleyan.,1 10136,"I said, good evening everyone!",3 10137,"Yeah, there's always a 'but'.",4 10138,"Right here, babe.",3 10139,I know. They're a total train wreck.,0 10140,"Ok, so the red bar indicates the level of attractiveness, blue, intellectual stimulation, green, emotional connection, yellow, compatibility aspirations of life, and purple, so she tried to pay or not.",1 10141,"You talk during movies. You-You-You sneeze with your whole body. Uh, to my knowledge, you do not speak Portuguese.",1 10142,It's not really the place I imagined for the wedding of Ted.,2 10143,"Um, alright. I'll be right there. (To Ted) I'm sorry. I had a really great time tonight.",4 10144,You know who else has a really cute story of how they met? Marshall and Lily. You guys should tell that story right now.,1 10145,You think you're there for something?,0 10146,Extra key? Do I have an extra key to your apartment?,2 10147,"Well, how come we're all allowed to bust on barney when he dates some skanktron, but when you sleep with the crypt keeper's dad, I'm not allowed to say a word?",1 10148,"And now he's coming here? Robin, why do you want to see this guy?",3 10149,He speaks to p*rn.,4 10150,Period.,3 10151,"Yeah. No, they won't.",2 10152,A... Chinese guy?,0 10153,"I do not know why you act like that. Maybe you've never had a better job offer, but I still can, so I really want to focus.",4 10154,"Oh, I'm sorry, you must have me confused with the shirt you were wearing that day.",4 10155,Hi.,1 10156,It's gold! But I'd rather say 'put me behind you. ",0 10157,"oh, but Ted, if you get rid of the butterfly, how's everyone gonna know you're a stripper fron reno with daddy issues?",2 10158,Hey.,2 10159,You know their names?,4 10160,"Hmm, no, it's the shoulder hair.",4 10161,A... LAME-A?,2 10162,"A new camera! Thank you, Marshall. I love it!",2 10163,We'll tell him about the baby when there's a baby to tell him about.,2 10164,"Oh, man, I got a kernel stuck in my teeth.",3 10165,"I was someone there, behind! Everybody loved me.",4 10166,No what?,3 10167,Yeah.,1 10168,I've realized that their reign had to stop to give way to a sexy new profession. It may be... communications officer in an intergalactic spaceship to a distant solar system that we can imagine. Maybe it will be... contract. It is not known. But one thing is certain. The future shines... as a huge sun throwing rays of orange light over our heads and our spirits.,0 10169,"You've had a rough year. But you're tough. And I love you like crazy. If you left, I'd have to follow you. And Marshall would follow me. And Ted would follow him. The only upside is that we might get rid of Barney. Bring it in.",2 10170,Maybe she goes to his office.,1 10171,"Hey, your name is Steve. And her ex-boyfriend's name is Steve. What are the odds of that...? Wait.",1 10172,And how.,2 10173,No matter. You understand why I'm the only guy she does not know this bar?,0 10174,"My friends, I made a song for tonight. Follow me, the chorus is this: Merry, Merry Lily-anniversary...",3 10175,Why did you do that?,0 10176,People donated this food thinking it was going to feed the hungry.,1 10177,What do you mean?,4 10178,They tracked.,3 10179,Was it...?,1 10180,Oh? I see it.,2 10181,"Babe, can I get you a drink?",2 10182,$ 20 if you manage to run it through the door.,3 10183,Okay. May we please get married today?,2 10184,"spit, spit!",4 10185,Speaking of the power of Valentine's Day...,4 10186,"Well, you know, soul of an artist, hands of a master craftsman. It was inevitable, I guess.",1 10187,"I can not believe that we have this discussion. Ted, you're 30, you're too old to act like that.",2 10188,"Baby, The 88 don't audition. They're, like, the Wiggles of wedding bands.",3 10189,"Don't patronize me. If anything, he may even be a little bit taller.",1 10190,To read the letter.,1 10191,"Ooh, look a booth opened up.",4 10192,I don't know if that's totally true.,1 10193,No.,4 10194,"Wow I think you got it backwards there, buddy. The duck is the thing you love, the rabbit is the thing you hate.",1 10195,You can not?,3 10196,"ok go go go. (They go out but the door of the Gerards opens, they gets in quickly)",2 10197,I have an appointment with.,0 10198,Hmm... I bet nobody in history has ever licked the Liberty Bell! If someone were to pull that off I dare say it would be... what's the word?,0 10199,"Hey, this is a chair, but go ahead and drag it.",0 10200,"The angry, irrational, violent Doug, who now knows, you pushed under a bus.",1 10201,The Gentleman!,2 10202,"I was stopping by Lily's kindergarten class to say hi, but they were all at recess. I really had to pee, so I went into the class's restroom. It was a-a smaller target than I'm used to, so I figured I should sit down. What I didn't realize was, it was a shared bathroom. I wish I'd pulled up my pants.",3 10203,"Oh, and, um... don't worry, yours is in the mail. I sent it a couple days ago. And it's awesome. Really, really awesome.",1 10204,I don't like Chinese.,0 10205,Damn. Want to go get a soft pretzel?,0 10206,"Well, wait. Which one are you gonna tell him?",2 10207,Hooray?,1 10208,Damn! They see us.,2 10209,"Your date? I'd love to. Um, how fancy are we talking about here?",4 10210,Queen Elizabeth II.,4 10211,"When she moved here and broke up with her boyfriend in college, I waited one month, not to go for the spare wheel. And the spare wheel well, he stayed two years. After their breakup, I have waited a week. Late again. She stayed with guys for 3 years.",1 10212,There is no futon.,4 10213,"It's just a thing we said, we were kidding around.",1 10214,When did you find out?,0 10215,You've gotta be kidding me.,4 10216,Saving game.,3 10217,"Of course, Ted.",0 10218,Yeah.,4 10219,"(Finally Randy is ready, so Barney goes talking to the girls) Hey, laddies. Have you met... (He points the finger towards Randy and turns around. But Randy hid under a table.)",0 10220,"Taking a break from the first of many viewings, I can't help but notice that this isn't p*rn.",3 10221,"Right. So where was I? Oh, yeah. Shannon was sucking face with her dad.",0 10222,"Look, I love you. But, baby, with little energy I have left after work, I want to cover you with love, not washing dishes.",0 10223,Is that your water? May I?,0 10224,What about you?,0 10225,The group played shows your roommate or...?,1 10226,What would I be doing?,2 10227,"Yeah, look around. The universe is mysterious and awesome. You got the Bermuda triangle, ghosts, Big Foot.",3 10228,"That was ten years ago. People evolve. I mean, are you the same person that you were in high school?",4 10229,"Ted, what's going on?",2 10230,And those girls over there? They are cannon.,1 10231,"Mom, d-do you want me to leave?",3 10232,We don't.,3 10233,"Robin, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth. You want to be 16 again? I have watched your first Robin Sparkles video 1,000 times, and it's not because I'm proud of you as a friend. It's because you were totally, totally lame back then. But now, come on. Pa-cow! You're the most awesome person I have ever known. Well, second most awesome.",0 10234,You remember when we first got these swords?,3 10235,"You know who gets really bad revertigo? (whispers) Lily when she around her high school friend, Michelle.",3 10236,"Well, we're closing in on the half. Let's see how Blah-blah's doing on the crazy-hot scale.",0 10237,"No. Backgammon sucks. I took the only good part of backgammon, the "gammon," and I left the rest of it in the trash where it belongs.",3 10238,"No, the leg is a metaphor.",1 10239,"You know what, the Jerky Boys are funny.",3 10240,I know. But... come on...,1 10241,"Boyfriend. Barney Stinson is my boyfriend. I've said it, like, a hundred times it still sounds weird to say.",4 10242,"Okay. Hey, you guys see Deadliest Catch last night?",4 10243,Make a muscle.,0 10244,It is Sunday.,3 10245,"Ding, class dismissed. Here you go, kid, you call whoever you want.",0 10246,You sat down next to me and took most of your pants off.,2 10247,"Not only is she funny, hot and genetically female, but get this...",1 10248,Nowhere. At the beach. It's winter. Laser Tag. At home. Shut up! It is you who are going somewhere.,0 10249,(like parrot) Each.,2 10250,"Uh, yeah, will you just excuse us for one minute? Barney.",1 10251,I'm not sure that you know who Gandhi is.,1 10252,"Oh, come on, man, you don't mean that.",3 10253,"Give it a rest, Ted.",0 10254,Your boat is sinking. That was good.,1 10255,The equity in my life brings me nothing but stress. It's easier that he is dead to me.,2 10256,Here's to nine more great sessions.,1 10257,Right.,0 10258,Oh. Did you... did you get my tape?,0 10259,"Don will not be part of the group. Neither do I. At least for a while. Guys... with Don, it works well. I want to see where it goes. And I could not do it if I continue to hang out with my ex. It will not. I moved in with Don.",4 10260,"You see, you should have waited to see all the problems that home.",2 10261,Are you saying you don't wanna be bros anymore?,0 10262,That's not a thing.,4 10263,"Okay, first of all, I have a girlfriend. Second, the architect angle doesn't even work on her. And, third, I can't imagine that working on anyone ever.",1 10264,"Wait... Nora, wait. Wait. I'm sorry I misled you.",0 10265,Oh!,2 10266,"Oh, she just had to make an appearance at this other party. It's no big deal.",1 10267,I think I'd look way hot with some ink.,1 10268,I do not wanna hear about f*ck like rabbits.,4 10269,"How much hotter is she than your girlfriend? Marshall: There's no comparison. What do you think, Ted? Go for it? Ted: Oh, don't do it, man. Think about Lily.",0 10270,No. Good. That was pretty lame.,0 10271,Push yourself. I recorded The View. This problem and was unemployed and sleeping on the couch.,4 10272,I don't even know if he's playing.,1 10273,Who the hell is Frank?!,1 10274,Ted! Stop!,0 10275,I should really make this call.,1 10276,"... I quit, Arthur! I quit!",3 10277,Poor. This is very bad.,3 10278,Who are we gonna...,1 10279,"The ground was shaking like. Robin, where are you? Those Boy Scouts have grown a foot since last year. They're terrifying!",0 10280,"Ooh, we don't need the details.",2 10281,"And because of my new job, we are in such a strong place financially.",3 10282,Comes on a little strong.,4 10283,"I-I don't know, tell him, tell him you saw a ghost. Tell him it's haunted.",4 10284,They f*ck like rabbits.,3 10285,"He needs her password. Its not like he has her password. Ooh, he has her password. This is... He has her password.",0 10286,"Ok, name one celebrity who will be there.",4 10287,"Oh, it is on! It is on (imitates robot) till the break of dawn.",3 10288,"Oh, same thing as you-- I read the paper every morning. But then after that, I finish my coffee and I go to my real job as an architect where I make an actual contribution to the world. I'm just kidding. Love your show. You're terrific.",1 10289,Wish me luck.,1 10290,No (smiles)...it's-not.,4 10291,"Okay. I promise I won't, I won't open that until you're dead.",3 10292,"You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. (almost yells) I wrap myself in one stuffed with duck feathers. Who's cosier? No, no, no, no, no, no... who's cosier?",4 10293,I just want to sleep!,2 10294,Last week!,0 10295,Yeah.,4 10296,Okay! Lily came to the office to bring me my pants...,3 10297,I'm saying I don't wanna be friends anymore.,1 10298,What happened to giving the money away?,1 10299,Lily.,4 10300,You should listen to it. Just don't put too much pressure on it.,4 10301,"Dude, none taken. Yes, GNB is, the Empire from Star Wars. But the Death Star's gonna get built either way. And don't you think the architect of the Death Star is pretty psyched to have that thing on his space resume? I mean, yes, his design was flawed in the sense that a single b*llet fired into a particular vent would explode the whole thing.",3 10302,Doo-doo.,3 10303,That is a truth-fact.,4 10304,"Look, you didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't you, Barney.",3 10305,Why would you do that?!,1 10306,"Not slippers, exactly.",1 10307,"Okay, look what I got (runs to the fridge. Takes out wine bottle)",3 10308,"Yeah, they have a meeting Friday to see if he keeps his job or not.",3 10309,"You stop it. (Robin drinks the glass of a sudden) My God, so, stop.",4 10310,I could not resist. I wanted to see Marshmallow coach at work.,2 10311,"Sex... I'm right? Fortunately, it is becoming rare. I'm still hungry. You're hungry?",0 10312,It's been 50.,3 10313,As if she had to "borrow a book" or "listen to old vinyl.",1 10314,"I'm sorry. I don't want to talk about it. It was the most embarrassing, and humiliating thing that ever happened to me.",0 10315,"Sorry, dude.",1 10316,"It's time you know. A few weeks ago, Bilson called us.",3 10317,Was that Korean Elvis?,1 10318,I know.,3 10319,Of course it was me.,4 10320,"Like I said, she's here on a date.",4 10321,"So Lily is not back in town and she doesn't have a boyfriend. That's good news, right?",1 10322,I'm looking at you. What?,1 10323,I think my soul just threw up a little bit.,2 10324,"And then I'm just going to leave her there... buck-naked, covered in candle wax, tied to the bed.",0 10325,"Oh, Robin, are you tearing up?",0 10326,Or we could just stay home.,2 10327,It's all I want to be.,3 10328,"By the look of those shoes, here comes your bathroom buddy.",0 10329,"(smiling) no, it's not.",4 10330,"No, you didn't. You were like, "No, we can't, we're friends. It would mess up the dynamic of the group."",0 10331,So... You're in love with me?,0 10332,Wow. There's a lot of nude people in here.,2 10333,It's not awesome!,1 10334,"Man, I love the office Halloween party. It is so much sluttier than the office Christmas party. Though not as freaky as the office President's Day Rave. Or the office Tu B'Shvat Pajama Jammy-Jam.",0 10335,Um... only always.,3 10336,All right. I'm in. I've never worked this hard for anything in my life.,1 10337,I knew I could have talked to my friends.,4 10338,"Good. Now, here's the thing. It sucks that you came back from Argentina with someone as awesome as Gael. And I know I have no right to be upset at you. We're broken up, life goes on, whatever. But you know what? We-we never did this. We-we had this polite breakup with no irrational yelling and that's just wrong. So I'm gonna yell irrationally for a while and you're just gonna have to stand there and deal with it, okay?",1 10339,"It's not serious, but listen to this! After the show...",4 10340,"Brilliant. But wait, he had a huge head start on us. There's no way he's still in there unless he spent a half an hour picking out the perfect orchid.",0 10341,I'd rather not say.,4 10342,You're worth it!,4 10343,Yes!,2 10344,What big event?,1 10345,By being the best architect available?,0 10346,Lily.,3 10347,"I'm so happy for Marshall, I really am. I just couldn't imagine settling down right now.",1 10348,"Now look at me. Declawed. Neutered. What was once my jungle is now my zoo and i am forced to mate with the same old lioness again, and again, and again while families pay to watch.",0 10349,"You know, it's very rude to wear a hat indoors. I'm just saying.",1 10350,So you're happy?,3 10351,"Hi, have you met Robin?",0 10352,"Yeah, i know, my sudent loans are pretty big.",3 10353,"Within a triad of solar periods, you'll recognize your dearth of compatibility with your paramour and conclude your association.",0 10354,"Yeah, but that's a good lie. Like when we tell Ted he'll meet the right girl and settle down.",3 10355,"Well, but this day is tough on you, too. You sure you can absorb all that?",1 10356,You're the world's worst wingman. You know what? I'm out of here.,0 10357,"Oh, what firm?",2 10358,I did what I had to do.,2 10359,"Okay, okay. I know. I have not found Ms. Mosby yet, but I will get it. Knock on wood.",1 10360,Right?,1 10361,Right here.,1 10362,"Well, what drink finally did the trick?",4 10363,What did you do?,4 10364,"Judy duty.",1 10365,What? Ted and I never made out.,2 10366,"I knew it. I knew it. I knew if you got a dog, I'd wind up taking care of it.",1 10367,"Third base. Seriously, third base.",3 10368,You gave me some chips.,2 10369,More like ex-best friends. Just like you.,2 10370,"Yeah, I mean, I'm way too young to have a baby, right?",2 10371,"So, third day of work?",1 10372,The Commissioner of the bet-Baffe says it's good.,2 10373,"Hey, Ted?",4 10374,"O, Actually we live on the Upper West side, so...",3 10375,Karen has failed the test of the porch. She had to leave.,2 10376,I think Robin...,1 10377,"Oh, yes, you do.",4 10378,"So, Mary, what do you do for a living?",4 10379,"No, you won't accomplish anything you set out to. You'll get a girlfriend the first day of college and you'll give up your independence and you'll never live abroad and you'll wind up old before your time wondering "Whatever happened to my hopes and my dreams?"",2 10380,"I lied. I called, like, five times. Wait, wait! You guys you know better than anyone how I show this stuff. Will you help me please? I would like just once to see what it feels like when you do not quite fair.",0 10381,"Oh, no, I don't have a fiancé.",4 10382,"Yes, I do! I don't why they make phone books anymore. Everything's online, right?",1 10383,I love you.,3 10384,No way.,3 10385,"Tell me more. Tell me more. Like, did he have a car?",0 10386,"But you have to promise me you're not gonna steal my new twin and leave me with your old, used-up twin.",3 10387,Why would I do that? I'll see him at poker on Tuesday.,0 10388,Exactly.,1 10389,Holy shit!,3 10390,"Who do I crazy? I'm not ready to be a father. I thought I was, but it's like... My father never did such things, you know?",3 10391,Stella hated Star Wars. She lied to you. Seeking your feelings. You know it's true.,3 10392,"No, no, no. Wow, that did not end well. But it's all for the best, 'cause now I'm married to an amazing girl, we have two kids. It's actually a funny story of how we met. I was a best man at this wedding...",1 10393,"Look, just because your class prefers me to you...",4 10394,"Happy Thanksgiving. As in check out the chick buying the knock-up test everybody, wonder what must be going through her head. Yeah, well, since you asked, a family of mayonnaise-guzzling giants is trying to suck me into their suburban nightmare. And there's a solid chance that I have an Ericksen the size of a 15-pound turkey growing inside of me.",2 10395,"Good morning, everybody... Where's my class?",1 10396,"I, yes, but still.",0 10397,"Jeremy.",3 10398,That was my first question.,0 10399,You're not pressing the button! It's my button!,1 10400,"Oh, just the Lord's work.",0 10401,Totally committed to the bit.,0 10402,"Well, maybe we should stop pretending.",4 10403,Talk about what?,1 10404,"Well, maybe you're just going back to the person you were before the trip.",2 10405,"Well, dog my cats! I think I know what's going on here. Robin... did you WANT Don to ask out?",3 10406,Something is seriously wrong with you.,4 10407,It is hot.,0 10408,He "give" something. Understood. Nice.,0 10409,What are you talking about?,1 10410,bup bup bup bup bup... Theres's only one possible conclusion. Lily and Marshall are fighting about peanut butter.,1 10411,"I know, right? The end? Tears.",0 10412,"Since Lily and Marshall have their apartment, her mother keeps sending him old things she wants to get rid.",1 10413,Was that chick at the end really a client?,0 10414,"Which Chumbawumba song? Barney: Well, what an interesting turn of events. It looks like I'm going to win.",3 10415,""Distract" me? Oh, that is so condescending. These guys are really starting to piss me off!",4 10416,"Yes, advantage Ericksen.",3 10417,The Unicorns? Who will cut our hair When We're Gone? I thought I was the only one with this album.,1 10418,"Almost. This is Leilani. She had to come at Christmas because, you said, "Folks, this may be good." And this is not the only "maybe good". Eve 2007, Barney, Lily, Robin, Ted, Marshall and "It's good" Emily. The funeral of Uncle Cecil Robin, Marshall, Lily, Robin, Barney, Ted and... "It proves that you selected the eyes closed" Isabelle. My appendicitis, Robin, Marshall, Barney, Lily, Ted, and it... you've admitted, you just wanted to make. Compliance.",2 10419,This is something that was cool 8 years ago.,3 10420,That's you.,0 10421,What would you choose: a million girls and one three parts?,4 10422,"Ironic because we both work at a homeless shelter where I serve the food. Where do you volunteer, Robin?",0 10423,"What the hell, man? I thought we had a deal.",4 10424,"Honey, it's you. And if you're gonna break up with George, you have to break up with his kid too.",2 10425,Good morning.,0 10426,"I'm so glad to hear you say that because I volunteered our apartment for a big NRDC fund-raiser tomorrow night. You're-You're cool with that, right?",3 10427,Ted. What an idiot. With his stupid "meaningful relationship" with Stella.,0 10428,Check.,4 10429,"Wait. Where'd you get that? (The guy is holding a cup, on which is printed "The Intersection")",4 10430,"Yeah, yeah! And, you know, since, since it doesn't really matter who Zoey's dating now...",1 10431,Arthur?,1 10432,It was a cockroach.,2 10433,"Why, why?",1 10434,I'll sell my paintings!,2 10435,"Ted, darling. Go outside and bite the curb. I arrive in 1 minute.",2 10436,"OK, Milt, you won. I will give one million.",1 10437,"You're super good. Keep it up, man. Your hair, your teeth are beautiful now. You shine like a diamond!",3 10438,Let's just hold hands. This is nice.,2 10439,That's great. Good for you.,1 10440,"That girl in there is alive, right? Ted: I should call Barney, maybe he knows what happened.",2 10441,"More than once... Wow, this is... I guess if we... so, technically, there were a number of times I've lied to a woman to sleep with her.",0 10442,We are now-Casual,1 10443,"She took the other car. It's Italian leather, so... I... go...",0 10444,Ted...,4 10445,"No. Because the beauty of a moment is that it's fleeting. By its very nature, it... slips through our fingers... making it that much more precious.",1 10446,Now my students have taught me that Jen Coulin abandon my material.,1 10447,"What I don't get is, why is Claudia marrying Stuart? She's way hotter than him. How way? Way way.",0 10448,Pants.,2 10449,"Wait. Are you saying that for 8 years, you have shared a toothbrush every 3?",4 10450,"It was to create a link with my boss, you should have seen me up there.",3 10451,""Dear Marshall, I do not like that stupid hat. I want to cut with a scythe. Or, cut the chisel, for you looks like a real jerk. "",4 10452,Okay. Do you want to walk it?,1 10453,How long are you here?,1 10454,"Ted, you violated a dead turkey with another dead turkey. Don't let that be in vain.",4 10455,"Hmm, do you know anyone at this party?",0 10456,"Well, I like it, so I'm just gonna keep it right here, if that's cool.",1 10457,"No, see, he's gonna go back over there and I'm gonna call him and he's gonna pretend that it's an emergency call from a family member at the hospital.",1 10458,What do we do?,2 10459,A coffin.,1 10460,(chuckles) Happy ending.,0 10461,"(Fake laughs) Good one. Okay, fine. I'm just going to leave this sock monkey here (Pretends to walk away) Goodbye.",1 10462,"Ted, I must tell you the truth. I love... (Robin out the trash) tacos. What are you doing?",0 10463,She spent a year in Antarctica studying penguins.,1 10464,One week per month spent together.,3 10465,What?,4 10466,Whoa... this place in lourd!,1 10467,"You know, just because Zoey and I are a different kind of couple than you and Marshall doesn't make us a worse couple.",1 10468,Wow. Zoey's in love with Ted.,3 10469,"Oh no no! no, no, no",2 10470,"Marshall, it's fine. Nothing's going to happen.",1 10471,No I didn't.,2 10472,"Yes, why not? Many companies have a basketball team. They like that TonnerreVanille can still crash into the net.",3 10473,What? I'm tweeting about you. You should be flattered. How do you spell blah-blah-blah- "H's" or no?,0 10474,What?,1 10475,What happened?,1 10476,"It is not the worst, no. That would be the fourth worst.1: Super volcano. 2: An asteroid falls to Earth. 3: Any record of Evel Knievel is lost. 4: Ted called Karen. 5: Lily is eaten by a shark.",3 10477,"Oh, my God! No, no! No physical retribution! Stop!",1 10478,"Yeah, it's Ted. No, no. I have not approved the change in plans for the new GNB headquarters, which I am the chief architect, just 30 years. Yes, I'm single and I give to charity.What is the relationship? Okay, bye, Mr. Mayor. You know it was bogus?",1 10479,But all those crazy things you did.,0 10480,Tony is rich? Tell me that you wrote a check. Tell me that you did a very big check. So big that he not remove his shirt to go swimming.,3 10481,Exactly!,0 10482,Finish Your Beer. Fill the machine.,0 10483,I do not for me. I do it for the fans.,4 10484,It was nice to be the ideal couple for one minute.,4 10485,Hit the horizontal ten-legged interspecies cha-cha?,0 10486,"Even when I arrived here, she still will not touch with a man. I feel good tonight, this evening will be well.",0 10487,And a half?,1 10488,How?,4 10489,It's decided. A new beginning! May the winds be with you...,0 10490,It's nothing.,3 10491,"Oh, it is. Plus, if you win, you get free pizza. This is my teammate for tomorrow.",0 10492,"Really, Ted? You think so? Well, tell me, how did the rest of that session go?",0 10493,"What do you...? Kind, you think she is sexier than me?",3 10494,No way. You made that up.,0 10495,"(On Phone) Listen to me, you're both American citizens. Don't let them pull any patriot-act voodoo. You both retain the right to refuse to answer any questions without an attorney present so don't say anything until I get there, alright? Okay, goodbye (Hangs up. Sings) To Philly! The adventure continues! Destroy!",3 10496,"Fire Marshall".,3 10497,"So, uh, we're at the bar and I see her mix kahlua...",1 10498,"No, I mean do you want to play craps.",1 10499,"What about World Wide News, your I.D. badge? You made a New Year's resolution.",1 10500,It tells me nothing!,4 10501,Look what I just bought. Right? Right? (He is wearing the Red Boots),1 10502,I don't think anyone wants to hear that story.,1 10503,Look... I know this sucks. It's just something I'm going through. I'm not asking you to understand it. I'm not asking you to be happy about it. I'm just asking you to support it.,2 10504,"I know! Does July 4, 1995 does remind you of anything?",3 10505,"Yeah. You know, there's this new Italian restaurant on 79th that's supposed to be amazing.",1 10506,A girl is allowed to be crazy...,0 10507,"Yeah, but that wasn't the crazy part.",2 10508,Where? I want his autograph!,0 10509,"Well, I hope you're happy.",1 10510,"Man, I made a big mess by canceling this wedding, didn't I?",2 10511,That's the general idea.,4 10512,"Love Solution's Ellen Pierce, a beacon of hope for New York city's lovelorn. Robin Scherbatsky...",4 10513,"Hey. Um, when we were dating, did... did I make you feel needed?",4 10514,"Baby, more than ever, you have my full support. (Lily and Marshall kisses)",2 10515,"Yes. Moby... Yeah, it should start high, get higher. This mix is my pride and joy. I never leave home without it.",0 10516,"Lily, my students are adults, and I treat them that way. I'll just give them more candy and make them a mix CD. Problem solved.",1 10517,"Man, how did things get so screwed up?",1 10518,"You're like me, people? Have you ever considered the amount of fish species? And... the name of these fish?Here are a few. "Trout. "Right? "Sturgeon. "I think so buddy."Salmon. "I'll say it again... Salmon. Who thought it was a good idea? "Bar. "This guy is what I mean. "Halibut. "Thank you, good evening. How do I?",3 10519,It wasn't?,1 10520,"So the night went on, and eventually everyone went home, except for Ted and Honey.",4 10521,I can b*at a bus or a cab or a train!,3 10522,"Very well, then, let's get started. (clears throat) Some examples of Greek Revival architecture...",1 10523,Why in the world do you care so much whether Marshall works at GNB?,4 10524,"Hey, stay hydrated.",4 10525,You're mounted on it? You did a tour?,3 10526,"Oh, nothing. I must have coffee with Nora. She is still angry, so I need some "sympathy points". She loves musicals, so I'll tell him that I fell off stage during a performance of "Man of La Mancha." What do you think?",0 10527,I! A photo ugly.,4 10528,Why do they call 'em coasters?,0 10529,"Bine sure if. Finally, I could... until there is little.",3 10530,"If you feel like you need to do that, then...",4 10531,Barney.,0 10532,Ok we'll do it now!,1 10533,"Come on, blah-blah, it's not like that.",1 10534,I'll give you $ 100 for hitting my fist. $ 200.,0 10535,I am a TV reporter. I am on the air at 4am.,4 10536,"As in high school. Sorry, I had to.",4 10537,Bye babe.,3 10538,Wait. That's your pajamas? You sleep in pajamas suit?,2 10539,So you're saying you should not do the dishes because you work harder than me.,2 10540,What did he say?,4 10541,That's what you think a relationship is?,2 10542,No way. You're making this up.,1 10543,"Lets get out, man, let out.",3 10544,Did you guys get high?,2 10545,I don't know. How about somebody who's disappointed you? Someone who's let you down. Someone who's gonna bring you meatloaf when you explicitly ordered a sandwich and gravy fries.,0 10546,She thought it was presumptuous and asked me to leave. It's-It's not like I brought a ton of stuff.,1 10547,"Oh, my God. You always have feelings for Barney. Admit it, you still have feelings for Barney.",2 10548,I do not understand men.,3 10549,"Just keep smiling, maybe wave. No, don't wave! That makes no sense!",2 10550,"Not given, lent. They said they would send a check, so Marshall gave our address. What prevents them from coming home one night, and maybe tie me? With Marshall, sometimes we pretend for real but it's terrifying.",2 10551,He's the Cadillac of rebound guys. Marshall has a crush on him. The guy's perfect.,1 10552,"Actually, you usually say that out loud. So...I just slept with my best friend's ex-girlfriend",0 10553,You're right. They're delightful.,2 10554,What you got mugged...,1 10555,It's nothing!,3 10556,What never happened? What are you guys talking about?,1 10557,"Well, still, legally, they can't just toss you out onto the street. You have a lease.",3 10558,Marshall Eriksen... put a baby in my belly.,2 10559,Oh. Okay. Thank you.,3 10560,(looking at the girl) Nice.,1 10561,"Oh, tell me about it. I'm a third year at Columbia Law, so... If the workload does k*ll you I can probably get a conviction. Yeah.",3 10562,"Uh, thirty.",0 10563,So you're saying you want me to throw away a super hot girl just because you didn't help me get her?,1 10564,"Damn it, ring!",4 10565,Okay. This never happened. Never happened. Never... happened.,0 10566,"Guys, I'm going environmental, okay? Phase one: the bar. I've already convinced MacLaren's to implement a new green initiative.",3 10567,It's a huge Karate Kid poster above your bed.,3 10568,"Let me guess, (points) Ted?",4 10569,"OK OK OK buddy, how about you do this? Go nail that girl, then read your texts.",1 10570,"Marshall, you want anything?",1 10571,Really. That... what...,3 10572,We accept.,3 10573,"An invitation to the annual Spring Jefferson Van Smoot, for Saturday night... in his apartment in Alberta! Friends... This is the most beautiful building in Manhattan! We gotta go!",1 10574,"They can suck on each other's fingers for an hour, but there's no time to take two steps to the bedroom?",3 10575,Thank you!,3 10576,"Uh, has it ever occurred to you to give some of this to charity?",1 10577,How did you get here?,4 10578,"Why? Because I made it rain, that's what I did today! And that's enough. I-I've done my part. Now, get down here!",1 10579,"Oh, hey, since you mentioned husbands, this is great, you're gonna love this. Marshall, you know Marshall. He thinks that the reason you didn't wanna go to the mall the other day is because you got married in a mall and have a husband in Canada.",1 10580,"OK, wait. Wait...",2 10581,Sold.,4 10582,What?,2 10583,And then Ted does the thing that he always does when there's an awkward silence.,4 10584,What? It's like fat pants. You hope you never have to use 'em but you're glad to know they're there.,2 10585,"Mint on the pillow, Ted! And don't charge for wi-fi. It seems greedy! It does.",0 10586,Don't worry. I'll be prepared.,3 10587,"Hey, uh, so Robin told me about this whole Ted and Zoey thing.",3 10588,"That wasn't so bad, right? No lengthy, awkward silences. Dessert ran a little long, so... I had to cut the good-night kiss.",1 10589,Unreasonably-small-mouth-opening girl? Yeah.,3 10590,"Remember that guy, Ted, that I was telling you about? Well, I came home and I found him waiting in my apartment with a string quartet and roses and chocolates...",4 10591,I love this song. I haven't heard this in forever.,3 10592,"Yeah, see the one in the middle just got dumped by her boyfriend so tonight every guy is... "The enemy".",4 10593,Ted. Are you listening? You're a good guy.,4 10594,"No, no. We're going to get you out of this. Okay, how about... "It's not you it's me"?",3 10595,"Uh-oh. I know that smile. Lily, there's no easy way to say this. Marshall's dead. Randy m*rder him.",0 10596,"Yeah. It has six legs, a hard exoskeleton like a roach...",2 10597,"You know what? Everyone, stop! Alan thicke, close it!Marshall is a break. Put-in-t. Ted, stop talking about p*rn. And for God's sake, give the pizza stormtrooper!",2 10598,"Guys, this is real. And if you don't make me look good in front of Nora, just remember: I've got dirt on each of you, and I am not afraid to spill it.",0 10599,It was Ted.,3 10600,"I don't say this enough, but you're a great woman, and a great reporter. You should be on 60 Minutes. You should be one of the minutes.",1 10601,"Jerry, you remember Marshall... he's a well-known writer.",0 10602,Wow. You're a little bit crazy.,1 10603,These magazines are broken. It is certainly retouched.,1 10604,"How does that help me? How does any of this help me? Can somebody, for god's sakes, please give me one piece of useful advice?",3 10605,"Thanks. Anyway, it's almost 11:00. I should let you go. Break a leg.",1 10606,I'm too old for this stuff.,4 10607,To be fair... your ex is here.,1 10608,"Hell, yeah. I love clubs. I mean, I was going to design a cathedral tonight, kind of take a whack at the whole relationship between God and man conundrum. But sure, let's go dancing.",1 10609,"Wait, Nora, waiting... No, please. I'm sorry.",0 10610,You've had a terrible fall.,0 10611,Is there a wrong way to pee on a stick?,2 10612,So why are you smiling?,2 10613,"The crazy eyes, "I'm going too fast and I will f*ck up everything."",0 10614,Are you kidding me? You guys are calling off another wedding?,1 10615,This morning I made the heart of the Ambassador of the Netherlands. I hope he gets better.,0 10616,How did you guys get in here?,0 10617,"Okay, Ted. (His phone starts rigging) Hello.",3 10618,"Wayne Gretzky, former Hot Wheels, an Eskimo kneeling.",0 10619,"Hans Gruber, the villain class. At the end, it is trapped.This is the title character.",0 10620,"I think you won the dish-off tonight, baby. This steak totally bitch-slapped my pork chop.",2 10621,"Honey, all this stuff I'm telling you is important. It's all part of the story.",1 10622,Did you just say you got a kid!,0 10623,"Oh, everyone thinks it's so easy. Give me your phone. Let's delete one of yours.",4 10624,Stop.,4 10625,"Yeah, thank you.",4 10626,I'm all out of "A" to "G".,2 10627,I saw a couple up front that were nice.,4 10628,"Wait, no no. They'll do lab experiments on it. That's so mean. Shouldn't we just b*at it to death with a bat?",2 10629,"Yeah. Remember how last week we fired up a sandwich, and we listened to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon while watching The Wizard of Oz?",3 10630,"I wanted to leave, but i couldn't stick her with making all the pies by herself. She was exhausted.",1 10631,Let's go (pulls Marshall up),2 10632,When will you be ready?,0 10633,Pub with baby talk.,1 10634,Sure.,4 10635,Oh! Hi guys! Oh! My neck! Uh... oh! Hey! Look at this!,0 10636,"All right, bring it home, boys!",3 10637,"Thanks for telling me your secret. It means so much to me that you could be so, what's the word I'm looking for, honest.",1 10638,You wanna make me jealous so you invent a story with Jenkins.,2 10639,"Oh, can she? Can she get a dog, please Dad?",2 10640,"No, it's just the raver's hump. I like it. It brings me closer to my glass. A youth! (He can not drink his glass) You should have a straw?",0 10641,"Better get used to that lion head. As of tomorrow, it's gonna be there till the end of times. And all because of my sweet, sweet rhymes.",3 10642,"It's decided. Barney, go. Come on the throne.",1 10643,Because I don't fit in here. I'm not eight feet tall and I don't think you can call it a salad if it has Funyuns in it.,2 10644,"It was broken, there is more than a year.",1 10645,Please. I bet it doesn't look that bad. I bet it looks grr-eat!,1 10646,I'm pregnant.,2 10647,Moving is very moving.,3 10648,"You've thought of consulting as "I win, you lose"?Suddenly, your 100 girls in fifth, it is so impressive.",0 10649,"Yeah, I agree with Ted. In a real relationship, you share everything. That's why Marshall and I don't keep any secrets.",2 10650,"I'm sorry. That was your cue. I should not have my own.But every year during the holidays, I am homesick. And so far, every year, I had a reason to stay: a boyfriend, a job or something. But... This year, for the first time, I have nothing.",4 10651,"Those guys were morons. Of course, they had cool ideas... really cool ideas. In fact, I wonder if it's not too late...The fact is: you have the job.",0 10652,"Um... thank you for, um, not using a first name in that story.",4 10653,And she's my girlfriend.,0 10654,"Hey, good, good news is that the inspector has k*ll some cockroaches at the time of impact.",4 10655,"You know, Ted, it's been four years. She could be engaged or married or, God forbid, fat.",0 10656,You know who has not made a lot of vaginas in college?,3 10657,"So, uh... you're Sascha's friends, huh?",0 10658,Three... one of each. You?,0 10659,"Yeah. Well, now it's Ed's.",3 10660,What I miss most is the kiss of midnight New Year,3 10661,What? Here?,4 10662,Thanks. It's not like it will ever come to anything.,1 10663,And the lotto numbers for tonight are...,4 10664,A job?,1 10665,Out for three months?,2 10666,I told you-- Randy. He was a machine.,4 10667,"Seriously. Jesus began this thing for three days. He waited three days to return to life. It was perfect. If he had waited one day we would not have known he was dead! They would have said: "Jesus, are you? "And Jesus would probably have said," You okay? I died yesterday! "And they would say:" You have the air alive, man. " And they should explain his resurrection. And the miracle. And then the guy would say, "Okay, whatever you want, dude."",0 10668,Ineffable... good word. So when are you going to do it?,3 10669,Did she see your tattoo and assume you were gay?,4 10670,"I know, right? But then one day, Zoey and The Captain had a huge fight. He flipped out and demanded a divorce. And she was heartbroken. But after a little soul-searching, she ended up back in my and the rest, as they say, is history.",1 10671,That's what I do.,3 10672,"No, no no no no no no no no no no no no no. Barney and I are not together. No. No.",4 10673,"(stops) Yeah, (agrees) What the hell (passes number to Ted. Throws drink on Ted's face) JERK! (Walks away. Whispers) that was fun.",4 10674,"Yeah, that never happens. Oh wait, except you and Robin. That's how you guys met, right?",0 10675,We talked and we realized we had some difficult months.It deserves a little fun.,1 10676,"I was, uh, just going through some old stuff and I...",1 10677,Or parades.,1 10678,"Hey, if I wanted a psychological evaluation, I'd hire the guy we pay to hint notize us before depositions. Now, get cracking!",0 10679,The quiz of love in the last Gala?,1 10680,My mom.,1 10681,Huh.,4 10682,The poor. It's moved if I return to Canada on sex?,2 10683,"Guys, it's 3:00 in the morning and it reeks in here.",3 10684,I'm trying.,3 10685,"Robin, I am here for you. Whatever you need.",1 10686,"No, you won't.",2 10687,It's not your fault.,4 10688,That's it. This is the problem.,1 10689,"Oh, honey.",0 10690,As if I had just flossing.,3 10691,"For new charges, you have to go to her online account. You can see credit card activity from like two hours ago. But... You know... Don't... (Marshall leaves the bar, running).",0 10692,"The Thankstini. A fun and delicious new novelty drink I invented. Cranberry juice, potato vodka and a bouillon cube. Tastes just like a turkey dinner.",0 10693,"It's here, Lily. It's looking at me. The kid, what do I do?",4 10694,"Aloha, island visitors. The big wave brought you to our humble luau. For that, we thank you. Or in my native tongue, mahalo.",2 10695,"Dude, that's awesome! You're finally forgetting about that short redhead.",0 10696,"Okay, he's in. Go. Go. g*n it.",2 10697,Is not it?,2 10698,"It's good. Sorry, everyone. Lily does not want me jumping. (He descends from the rim) Thank God.",3 10699,"Actually, sorry, man. I had you taken to Lily.",3 10700,"So, you'll probably quit GNB in a couple years, right?",2 10701,I will never love again.,3 10702,We're still friends.,4 10703,You have a boat?,1 10704,"All right, that's it, I'm out of here. In a minute.",3 10705,I've never done that.,1 10706,"Well... I'm just saying as your wife, you know i'm cool that you spent tens of thousands of dollars on a brand name law school because i know it make you feel good and pretty.",2 10707,How's it going?,3 10708,"Of course I do! And for sure I'll hear you admit it, manure!",1 10709,"I know it was stupid, but, see, at that time, I was still depressed over the break. I was in my phase of mourning. It means a lot of tape and long nights at the sh**ting range.",4 10710,Dibs.,3 10711,This is an intervention.,2 10712,Will you taste this latte for me? I think they gave me decaf.,0 10713,"All right! You leave me no choice. From this moment on, I will spend every waking minute ching down this tape. I will not sleep. I will not eat. My life will be a living hell of search engines and overseas phone calls, chasing down something that possibly can't be found.",0 10714,"Oh, my God, he just did it again!",1 10715,"(holding up small yellow piece of paper) Then Daddy wouldn't have gotten this seven-digit Father's Day card from Amy, huh?",0 10716,No one said this in Star Wars.,1 10717,I'm gonna help marshall pay.,1 10718,"No, before that.",1 10719,My dad!,0 10720,Thank you.,0 10721,"Here, Ted. Capture the moment!",0 10722,"Tell me about it, that cake, best cake I ever had. Seriously. My stomach was like, hey bro, I don't know what you're eating 'cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down gullet alley.",3 10723,Come on. I worry about the guy. He's had the same dead-end job at a car rental place for 15 years.,1 10724,You got to go scuba instructor.,1 10725,How many dates has she been on with your dad?,4 10726,"Oh, boo-hoo, poor little Ashley.",0 10727,"Ooh, I don't know. It was here when we sat down.",2 10728,What?!,2 10729,Why don't we just call Duluth Mental Hospital and say my Uncle Linus can live with us?,2 10730,"So, what does a fella have to do to get lei'd around here? Yeah.",0 10731,"So which is it, a cockroach or a mouse?",4 10732,"What our 21st president, Chester A. Arthur, is trying to say is that in every breakup there are winners and losers.",3 10733,I love that you are always so many friends after this clip.,2 10734,"Robin, just...",0 10735,"No, that's terrible, are you OK?",2 10736,We were in Queens and we decided to stop by my apartment.,2 10737,You can't swallow pills.,2 10738,"(on the phone) hey, so you know how I've always had a thing for half-Asian girls? Well, now I've got a new favorite: Lebanese girls! Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians.",0 10739,"Yeah. You know, that's exactly what it sounds like. But if that's true, that's awesome.",3 10740,YOU CRAZY? YOU THINK I LIKE GOING TO THOSE CLUBS? I'D SO MUCH RATHER GO TO YOUR FRUITY LITTLE WINE TASTING.,1 10741,"Oh no, no, no. God, no. Lily, it's not you. It's us.",4 10742,I don't know.,4 10743,"You know what? The two geniuses are going to remove that crap on their CV. You're not Dr. X, and you can not do the dunk. Forget.",2 10744,Of course it was.,2 10745,You can always ask Stuart.,2 10746,"Okay, I got it all planned out.",1 10747,"I'm serious. Think about it. He always wears black, we never see him in the daylight, only after dark.",3 10748,"Ah, Lily, will you tell these guys how stupid they're being?",1 10749,"Oh, no.",0 10750,"Waow, You can't even think of one. Headlights. Dear. Lily, for the last time, things with me and Robin are as good as they can possibly be. Oh, hey, look, Brad's here.",0 10751,Of course I do. Do not you see how to talk continually of your conquests makes me feel like another number for you?,4 10752,That was one of the most inspired designs of my career. I was so excited.,1 10753,In a totally new costume.,1 10754,"Hell, yeah, look at this. (She turns on her musical bouquet, playing the Wedding March)",2 10755,"Man, isn't this place great?",0 10756,Tradition? It was never done.,2 10757,"Well, then, you're not going to be able to pay for that trip to Spain that you've been planning. (Barney snickers) Say good-bye to riding around in gondolas, and eating bratwurst and seeing the pyramids.",0 10758,"It's okay. It's over now. I have to leave, but that's what happens: you call it now, tell him what you did and apologize.Got it?",4 10759,Wh-Where'd you get a meatball...,3 10760,"Tell me, PJ, I have a question for you architecture.Ted's ass what taste?",4 10761,"By "escort," you mean prostitute?",1 10762,"Someone who likes you, really. And suspicious, and probably accurately you do it over more later, and therefore he feels the need... I'm sorry, you spoke of this fantastic pair of tits, right? Because I seek, and I do not see them.",0 10763,"Yes, an ordinary night for the "Big caramel."",3 10764,They are. Put me know. It's been what?,4 10765,"Okay. When you have finished, you could ask a magician to heart.",1 10766,Ahoy.,0 10767,This is so exciting.,4 10768,"I'll make Ted swear not to tell anyone what he knows about you, and he'll cave immediately.",0 10769,"She's here, Lily. She looks at me.",1 10770,I'm having so much!,4 10771,"Plus, he keeps saying he's working late. But when I call his office, they say he left hours ago.",4 10772,"I'm so sorry. I just lost it. But I can fix it. First thing tomorrow, I'm gonna go in there on my hands and knees and beg for my job back.",3 10773,"I didn't realize you were small potatoes. And to be clear, I am referring to your testicles.",4 10774,You've gotta be kidding me.,1 10775,"It does. She will be in the next Muscle Sexxy. And like many women in this magazine, Sexxy has two X and one Y.",0 10776,"You do not want the truth, because deep down, you want me to watch over you. And basically, you know that none of these women would have been the mother of your children.",2 10777,Never. What else?,4 10778,We said no last drink. We must do.,1 10779,"And we will be celebrating the fact that we don't have to spend it with some dippy guy carting around roses and stuffed toys all night. Oh, no offense, Ted.",4 10780,You're right. I'll do the dishes. Just after doing this.,2 10781,(sees Don with imaginary rabbit's ears) You could say that.,4 10782,It says you're great and everything will be fine.,3 10783,That's why it's funny!,1 10784,That's your scrotum.,1 10785,"Of course not, because now you're saying "Nipple" and it's a hundred! (Whispers) Step into my web.",0 10786,"Hell, yeah. Nothing better than a weekend at a good bed and breakfast.",2 10787,You have a time sheet. No one else has a time sheet.,1 10788,Oh!,0 10789,"OK, I think this wall...",1 10790,Too green?,1 10791,Forget the w*apon. It is on that now.,2 10792,"(To waiting woman) So...uh, did you just get in from Detroit? (Points to self) Japan. (Woman leaves)",1 10793,"Great, now I gotta go to the locksmith.",4 10794,It's okay. We got hot dogs.,1 10795,One of my best friends. He wouldn't do that to me.,1 10796,"No, it's the collection. Harvey trays. These orange trays they give you when you eat at Harvey. Restaurants? Will you take a trip on the Trans-Canada Highway, you have a hollow between Milverton and Wawa, where you stop eating, eh? At Harvey. More than 12,000 customers!",4 10797,Say good-bye before you leave?,4 10798,"I have to, it's my birthday present to Ted.",0 10799,Come on! Oh! Oh!,0 10800,You're a doofus and a half.,4 10801,"Or... literally. That's how it starts! I'm afraid, Teddy!",0 10802,"Hey, baby.",2 10803,"You are a catch. You're gonna make some girl very happy, and I am going to help you find her.",4 10804,You're who?,1 10805,How much?,3 10806,What about Natalie!,2 10807,"I can't have any single female friends lying around. My dad'll be all, Why don't you marry Robin? You guys are cute together. Deep down, you know you were never happier than when you were with her. Uh... (chuckles) no, thanks.",0 10808,How can you say such a thing!,3 10809,"Because he's going through a lot right now. He, he's looking for something to believe in, and you took advantage of that. You're, you're just like those Internet swindlers who tricked him into paying 300 bucks for a lock of Sasquatch fur.",1 10810,And something blue. Somebody should really check on this lady.,3 10811,"Also Lily's coffeemaker doesn't, you know, shock you.",3 10812,"Oh, it's weird. He said nothing.",2 10813,Mamma mia!?,1 10814,Yes,1 10815,"Nothing, baby. Don't worry about it. Fine. Do what you want. Hey.",3 10816,"Redo"? How many times you made me break with my girlfriends?,1 10817,"Yeah, I have to break up with her.",1 10818,"Barney, what's up? I thought you had a super hot date.",4 10819,Talk about Space Orgy?,1 10820,And you did not give him.,1 10821,"Okay, okay, answer me this. Are you absolutely sure it had nothing whatsoever... to do with the boots?",1 10822,Amazing. And what's your newest scotch?,1 10823,"Well, I should head up.",1 10824,Oh my God!,3 10825,What?,1 10826,"Maybe so. I mean, of course it does. The kind of thing that leaves no one fell swoop. I'm not a guest over.",4 10827,"I already see myself in front of my children, trying to tell them when their uncle Barney kissed 7 chicks in a row.",1 10828,"Well, guess what? I've got some good news. When that baby comes, you don't have to see it. In fact, you don't have to see me. This whole friendship thing? Done.",2 10829,"Kazouwee. Vanquished, old bean.",3 10830,(On Phone) Bye.,2 10831,Why are you trying to ruin my life?,0 10832,Mad.,1 10833,And it started out as an innocent modeling job.,4 10834,Look at those colors! Green and brown together at last!,2 10835,I think I probably didn't.,2 10836,Aww! Come on! Come on! We all change a little for whoever we're into. Barney pretended to be a rabbi to get laid.,1 10837,"Well, I know, baby, I'd love to go, but it's two against one.",2 10838,Everything's so fluffy and white. It's like shopping in a marshmallow. How's Barney's tailor?,2 10839,I showed up with wet hair once! Once!,3 10840,Not really. Want to talk?,1 10841,Served.,1 10842,"I'm not The Blitz! (Ted goes into the bathroom, he hears a person yawning and opens the bath curtain) Zoey?",1 10843,"So, throw it.",1 10844,"Robin will soon get on the plane. In addition, it unleashed a lot of work for that.",1 10845,What productivity? You did not call a single customer.,4 10846,I don't know. Girl of your dreams dating a billionaire.,3 10847,They just got engaged.,1 10848,What do you mean?,1 10849,Sorry about what I said before. You want to go to the store and get some beer?,1 10850,The whole time?,4 10851,Really? Well.,1 10852,Tell me about marriage.,0 10853,I just let something like that to my apartment.,0 10854,"You got the job! Oh, yeah!",1 10855,"Oh, disco! I am so happy for you.",2 10856,I did not worship the book.,4 10857,"If you complete that call, I will set your coat on fire.",0 10858,"Oh, and I'm loving seeing you this happy.",2 10859,Absolutely.,1 10860,"No, I'm sorry. This is our house now. Marshall, you should also read a magazine. Give me your key.",4 10861,And I won that race.,3 10862,"No, I can do it, Brad. Okay,thank you.",3 10863,"My God, you are beautiful. How about I get you a headset so you can see with your ears like I do? I couldn't have been gone more than 20 seconds, but when I came back... Hmm.You know, I also love the smell of great art.",0 10864,"Okay, okay, everybody! Hands.",0 10865,What?,4 10866,"Come on, she was just frowning under direct light. And besides, that's not even what I liked about her. It was her... It's not important.",1 10867,"Sex now, we'll do the foreplay after.",2 10868,"So that was cool. I can remember, or...?",0 10869,Thank you.,4 10870,"Oh, this ought to be good.",0 10871,Why not?,1 10872,"It ripens, just as you see it yet.",2 10873,"Yeah, we're-we're really sorry about that.",1 10874,What do you want from me? People break up. It happens.,1 10875,"Oh, do I?",4 10876,"I've supported with these unknowns, but it's your father, okay? We can at least give him some turkey?",3 10877,"Oh, my God! They're really having a baby. What am I doing with my life? Starting Monday, I'm a currency rotation spe... Oh, who am I kidding? I'm a coin flip bimbo, and I'm still single. Okay, let's not go there, Scherbatsky. That's a whole other thing. I've got to take that World Wide News job.",4 10878,Oh for God's sake. (Lily grabs Mike's hand and eats food from his fork),2 10879,"This is the P.T.E. 18th floor. Basically, Bilson wants a piece like that, two floors above us.",0 10880,"Okay, relax, Robin's just a friend.",1 10881,"Yes, I do. I'm sorry about earlier. To tell you the truth, I never even saw all of Field of Dreams. I fell asleep half way through.",4 10882,Yes.,2 10883,"So Victoria, did you ever re-return to this guy?",0 10884,"Yes, tell us the truth.",4 10885,"If Ted says that PJ is necessary to society, then PJ will go nowhere.",0 10886,"What would you say, against all your costume you were offered eternal youth?",3 10887,"I love you too, and i want us to have our dream home. And well, i don't know, it seems like this is a way to do it. So Marshall Eriksen, will you divorce me?",2 10888,In a coined word "asshole-Apocalypse.",0 10889,"No, no, no (trying to hold Barney who tries to kiss Robin). You need to define the relationship. You ne to have the talk.",2 10890,Of course! Why was not yet formed a band?,1 10891,I begged my body not to do it. But it was no use. I just... I just...,3 10892,"Well, what's your plan, Marshall, just have unprotected sex day after day after day in every position imaginable until...? Wait, it sounded worse in my head.",2 10893,"What, you think this is the moves? Believe me, you'd know the moves. People ten tables away would know the moves.",1 10894,"I want you to Maggie Robin, my roommate.",1 10895,"Oh, now you're gonna bash her figure. Real classy, Ted.",0 10896,"Look, I'm sorry, Ted, I just, I gotta do this. (Lily leaves)",2 10897,"Oh, no...",2 10898,Dr. Greer? Who's Dr. Greer a-and why did he take my painting?,2 10899,Barney. We met at the urinal.,0 10900,Yeah.,3 10901,Ahh! This is it.,0 10902,It would be nice to see you on TV.,2 10903,"Or, you know-now. (Robin looks at Ted) We could all get a beer now.",1 10904,Why would Ted get back together with Zoey? He's doing great.,0 10905,"Come on, Ted. I was given aspirin and I do not think it was.",0 10906,I do not want to play Edward bottles money.,3 10907,First: he jokes with the marriage.,3 10908,It's OK.,4 10909,I'll show them. My body can outrun any motorized vehicle. I'm like John Henry when he b*at the steam engine. All I need is a great folk song.,3 10910,"J.J., I'm talking to Dad right now. God.",0 10911,"OK, first... Second, there is a trick you can try. It's risky, but it can pay off. Lack of anything better, I'll call it... The Mosby.",3 10912,You can slap him.,2 10913,"Good to know. Um, okay. Good-bye. (He hungs up) She's a cat person. I don't know this girl at all.",1 10914,"Hey. I was in the neighborhood. I just wanted to check in on you. You seemed, um, you seemed really upset the other day.",4 10915,"No, no, no-we're not playing "Have you Met Ted!"",1 10916,"I didn't go. That night, I recorded my video and mailed it to Shannon. I didn't see her until a week later. There's sugar in the basket. Shannon! Shannon, you came back!",0 10917,It k*ll!,3 10918,I'm worried. I do not want that divorce.,2 10919,"Apparently, there's a rule that says i can't date Stella.",1 10920,"Well, yeah.",1 10921,Really?,1 10922,I said this is going to be the best Thanksgiving ever.,3 10923,And then the fat kid loses his swim trunks.,1 10924,"Save me, Ted!",0 10925,Where the hell are Marshall and Lily?,1 10926,"It's sexist! When it's funny, it's funny. Lily's cool. She'll love it.",0 10927,"Ok, you know what, it's good. I'll be a father, and I want to be the kind of man that my child can watch. Therefore, new resolution... I will never drunk! I'm serious!",3 10928,A what?,4 10929,"Well, it's romantic, right? Zoey and I are getting serious on Valentine's Day.",1 10930,I gotta go.,3 10931,You made me break with Robin?,1 10932,And take ballroom dancing.,3 10933,(embarassed) Oh. Yeah...,4 10934,"You know, Victoria, Marshall and I did long distance once. In college, I did an art course in Paris. I was the only American there. It was really lonely. I only had one friend, Gabrielle. She was kind of homely and strange-looking, and she was really self-conscious about this little moustache she had. Anyway, halfway through the semester, she just stopped talking to me, and I never figured out why. And then I had nobody. The only thing that got me through was knowing that my soul mate was back at home waiting for me. If Ted's your soul mate, then it may be worth it to hang onto him.",2 10935,"Really? Ted's not afraid of cooties. OK, well then I guess you'd have no problem having a sip of my gin and tonic.",0 10936,"Hey, Ted!",4 10937,Want to hang?,2 10938,"I mean, yes, this is a huge, divisive issue for them. Which means no matter what happens, there's gonna be a lot of resentment. Probably lasting for years... infecting every single moment of the rest of their relationship. So, in conclusion, I'm with Robin on this.",2 10939,"Right. Right, I thought I said "Alan."",1 10940,"Drop it, Barney. Your arm should make you suffer.",2 10941,All right.,1 10942,"Lily, it's a miracle. I didn't get sick. I didn't get sick.",3 10943,"Thank you, Ted. I have some ideas, so it will be one week, two large max.",4 10944,"Tomorrow night, my place.",1 10945,I know.,1 10946,"Well, it's too late now. If I don't bring a date, a $200 piece of chicken-slash-salmon will go uneaten. I gotta bring someone, but who?",1 10947,Okay! It makes one. But I dare you to...,3 10948,"Okay, don't you dare tell me to steer into the skid, okay? It's too late. I'm already wrapped around a hydro pole. It's a Canadian telephone pole. I never should have taken this job.",4 10949,"Sleep it off, bra.",0 10950,"So then this hot intern leans over my desk, I can totally see she has a pierced... (Robin and Lily walk across the room) Brosnan. Pierce brosnan is my favorite of all the bonds.",1 10951,You're gonna...,0 10952,You sing what?,1 10953,"I think you'd need Salvador Dali to capture this particular moment, but I'll give it a whirl.",1 10954,So that's why you're worried?,1 10955,Don't worry. I am never doing that again. It was a one-time thing.,4 10956,"Yeah, because we're friends!",0 10957,Lily hates you.,1 10958,I'll break!,4 10959,"Hi, Ted, it's Robin. Um, listen, I know it's late, but do you want to come over?",4 10960,"Oh, I guess I missed it.",4 10961,"Stand ready, Cleveland. The last guy who has conned you so hard and then disappeared was LeBron James.",0 10962,Incredible!,1 10963,"Yes, of course.",1 10964,It was not that bad.,1 10965,What does it therefore reference?,2 10966,Speaking.,1 10967,Thank you.,1 10968,Why would Ted order the rabbit if he's just gonna run out?,3 10969,"Hey, Mr. Architect, big day for you tomorrow, huh?",4 10970,"...the shells start to fall. Hello, Arthur.",3 10971,"Henry, as New York's oldest handsome cab driver, you've seen quite a lot.",4 10972,I think I'm falling in love with you.,0 10973,"Sure, why?",1 10974,"Who's the master, Leroy?",0 10975,"No, Ted, I'm really looking at her face.",0 10976,"Yeah, right.",0 10977,"Hey, that looks familiar, where did you get it?",2 10978,"Come on, Ted, Victoria's Secret party now. Let's go.",0 10979,"Yeah. I snapped this photo of him last time he dropped off Zoey.Observe. The bottom half of his face... is smiling. He seems happy. Seems like a nice guy. (everyone is murmuring happily) But the top half of his face...wants to m*rder you! Cheerful. Wants to m*rder you. No. Cheerful. Wants to m*rder you. Now, hold on. Let me ask him a question. Captain, what do you think of ice cream? Oh, he loves it!",3 10980,And a world at peace would be within your reach?,2 10981,Horrible call.,1 10982,Okay. Don't think I'm overlooking the obvious fact that I should just be mad at you. But Executive Mischief Consultant Marshall Eriksen reporting for duty. Let's make that bastard pay. You think that we should brush our teeth first?,3 10983,Yep. Go.,1 10984,"Trust me, it's going to be legendary.",0 10985,"Baby, can we grow sandwiches behind the garage?",3 10986,"...before me fell for. Wow, respect.",1 10987,"I was so awesome, the coach asked me to quit because it wasn't fair to the other kids.",0 10988,He peed on the conference table?,3 10989,"Well., have fun in yoga",1 10990,I was pissed 3 times this morning. I can not say.,2 10991,You wanna be her boyfriend. She already has a boyfriend. It's uncanny.,0 10992,Members of the G-8 convened today in Vienna to discuss plans to fight climate change by re... What?,4 10993,"We're not even working together, Barney. I'm in the legal department and you're... Seriously, what is it that you do?",3 10994,So now we've gone from "I was never gonna do it" to "I need to do this"? Did I leave the room at some point? When did that happen?,3 10995,"Oh, God, no. Long-distance is a lie teenagers tell each other to get laid the summer before college.",1 10996,"There will always be a bag. Even if it goes well, it ends one day by spoiling.",1 10997,"You're like Mary Poppins, if her magic purse was also filled with drugs.",1 10998,"Good question, Norm. For the first, I was an intern for Channel 22 in Red Deer. Alberta. In Canada. The snow falls hard enough, but these intrepid fishermen are still happy to contribute to the gathering of bass fishing Lake Athabasca, a tradition of 1 August To you, Norm. What? It was my first job. It shows where I come from.",4 10999,It was downright terrifying.,0 11000,Three months ago.,2 11001,"See that wall? 300-inch flat-screen. They only sell them in Japan, but I know a guy. Had to ship it over in a tugboat like freakin' King Kong.",0 11002,I switched to running a small business. This is the lung of the economy.,1 11003,"We saw something, up in the apartment.",3 11004,"Look at this money! This one has a moose, this one has a beaver, and they all have Elton John on the back.",0 11005,This is gonna be great.,4 11006,"So New Jersey is not my favorite place. But when we get married, and they have moved in with me, I will never stay there. Unless I see the Giants and I evacuated New York or I get rid of a body.",1 11007,"Unbelievable. That is just a recipe for disaster, they work together (Carlos and Tatiana are making out)",0 11008,Correct.,0 11009,What?,1 11010,I need a date to this wedding. Wish me luck,1 11011,"Yeah Ted, we're not on you anymore.",0 11012,What?,4 11013,Who the hell is Sascha?,1 11014,"Thanks, Lou. Boy, too bad. Our big Metro News One camping trip was going to be this weekend.",4 11015,"No, there is not going to be another challenge, I don't care how much you offer me.",4 11016,Which one of us has more game?,0 11017,Dude! ya! It was perfect! You're such a jerk!,1 11018,Why can't two guys who are friends go to brunch?,3 11019,You're having dinner with him tonight.,3 11020,"No, you're a hooker.",1 11021,I'm free.,0 11022,"No, no, no, it has to be today. That's the whole point.",2 11023,We've been sitting here for hours and nobody's even glanced at my painting. Come on. Let's start talking it up.,2 11024,I know but it's Barney. It's just hard not to be curious. Did he have like devices and stuff?,2 11025,"Not before I share with you what being in a relationship leads to, Ted. Abby, Pookie Bear... I am so pathetically desperate for you that... aw, heck, I'll just say it. Would you marry me?",0 11026,I can't believe they broke up with us.,3 11027,You have to read a magazine. That's why there has magazines.,3 11028,"Travis Frenchroy, replacing bartender told me... "I'm done with all these rencards. I want to concentrate on my fan fiction of Star Trek. "Six months later... Married!",1 11029,She's not even on the hot-crazy scale. She's just hot.,1 11030,"So, she says, changing the subject. Big date tonight. How does she rate on the Mosby checklist?",4 11031,"Robin, this guy doesn't deserve a second chance. Not after the way he treated you.",2 11032,"Oh, no, I'm fine.",0 11033,"Good... good enough. That's not good enough. You order pancakes and you get waffles, that's good enough.",1 11034,"Oh, so good.",4 11035,I have done. It was... when? In 1998.,3 11036,"I wanted to watch it but I was too busy sleeping with this story. It took me all night, after 8 hours of the clock.",1 11037,"Okay, fine. I guess I'll actually floss.",2 11038,"Much like our friends, the Space Teens, I think I can solve this crime with math. Okay... Okay, here is a Christmas card that Jessica sent Robin. Lily, how old would you say that kid is?",1 11039,"Chinese restaurant, I still don't believe it.",1 11040,That's impossible. That simply can't happen.,4 11041,You've lost your mind?,0 11042,Is it? Describe your first 8.3 seconds with Stella.,0 11043,What time was your dinner reservation?,2 11044,"Yeah, yeah...booth (throws purse to Robin, spots a man. Robin leaves to booth. Man walks up to Robin.)",2 11045,"And what did this "Zoey" say when she found out that you're the one tearing down her beloved Arcadian? That you, Ted Mosby, are the Architect Of Destruction?",0 11046,"Marshall, tomorrow's Valentine's. Don't you want to be at home on our couch, cuddling up under a warm blanket, watching the Predator use his heat vision to stalk helpless prey?",2 11047,You're such a pig. You're not even going to say good-bye?,4 11048,"That's the history of Heather. It has been six years and three high schools for his baccalaureate. She took the opportunity to ruin two cars, being married for five days, and spent nine weeks in a tree only to find that no one intended to k*ll him. And there, Heather said she moved to New York.",1 11049,Leave me alone!,0 11050,"When I discover his luggage. I feel it. I do not know what it is, but when I know, it'll be over.",1 11051,I really have to get this done.,1 11052,You know why?,1 11053,"I have to do something at work, it will not be long.",3 11054,"Hmm. Grape scotch. Not bad. Ted, you only think The Arcadian needs to be saved because some pretty girl thinks that. And seriously... Boobs?",0 11055,We did have sex.,4 11056,"I'm up on burners, playa. Too many crazies had my old number, so now I'm all about disposable cell phones. I'll use one for a while, have my fun, then dump it and get a new one. And then I'll do the same with my phone.",0 11057,"Come on, Grant looks pretty good.",1 11058,I had a speech prepared.,3 11059,"Man, Ted's right, it's tough out there.",2 11060,It's this big skyscraper in Spokane. It'd be a huge project for his firm.,4 11061,I know. Can you believe your dad rack-jacked me like that?,0 11062,"Well, stay tuned, I'm working on some stuff. But in the meantime, wish me luck.",0 11063,"Simple, really. I used my powers of deduction. You see, I knew Glitter used to be a keytarist, which is basically a piano, so I just made a list of all the keyboard-based occupations and then I cross-matched them...",3 11064,"Oh, no. I am all about the dudes. Although pickings are pretty slim tonight. Only hot guy here is blondie in the suit, and he's playing hard to get.",4 11065,"No, I'm kidding... keep going.",0 11066,"I'm sorry, Milt? I think these are my paintings.",1 11067,Come again for Big Fudge?,0 11068,Did we bet on this?,3 11069,"Yeah, dummy. Instead of being a woman with no country, I'm going to be a woman with two.",4 11070,"But the best part of SF - oh that's what we call San Francisco - the people. Even just riding around on the bus all summer, it was like a human tapestry.",2 11071,"Yeah. Uh, I should probably take this.",1 11072,"Uh, it's not gambling if you absolutely know you're going to win. I'll get us that money. I swear it, nay... I oath it.",0 11073,"How to say goodbye in these situations? A kiss on the cheek, too familiar. A handshake, too formal.",4 11074,(from inside apartment) Just a second.,4 11075,I once knew such a girl.,0 11076,"I don't know, he could be right. She does have the fake orgasm noises down.",2 11077,"Apple tart, excellent choice, Lilypad.",3 11078,I love you.,1 11079,Do you like heroin?,2 11080,"Oh my God! Well, I hope you are pleased with you.",0 11081,You go on your date. Happy Valentine's Day.,4 11082,"Oh, but, baby, what if you hit the jackpot early?",2 11083,"Oh, come on, Ted can't be pregnant. You need to have sex to get pregnant.",4 11084,"Actually, I kind of was.",4 11085,"Oh, come on, you know damn well I move out that room's going unused.",1 11086,"Why Canadians are not of birthday wishes? Because they are too afraid to put out the candles. My God, I love this place!",4 11087,*Out of control.*,0 11088,What?,2 11089,And why ignore it will fix things?,2 11090,Friends! We forget what is really important here. Ted is blond.,0 11091,"You do not have to do that, you do not need to smoke.",1 11092,Mmm. Anything I can do to help you with that?,2 11093,"It's diet is not unlike our own, grains, cereals and it's awfully fond of cheese...",3 11094,You did a manicure?,4 11095,"Okay, bye. Okay, look, I just need to see the band. I'm getting married in two months, and...",2 11096,What?,3 11097,Fine. Here's the ball. At least you have one now.,2 11098,Hm. Band of DJ?,1 11099,"Seriously, don't sleep on thegouda.",3 11100,"No no no, you don't understand. I need that Kit Kat. She wrote her number on that wrapper. Where is it?",1 11101,You want to finish your bacon first?,2 11102,BACK OFF HOMBRE. I'm not that afraid to fight you. You wanna test this guy? Be my guest!,3 11103,It's our NCAA bracket.,1 11104,There's that you have beautiful hair. Front and back.,1 11105,Ted going bonkers. The movers arrive in 10 hours. His bride awaits in New Jersey. We must do something.,2 11106,"While it is heartwarming to watch your firstborn teethe on a jalapeño popper, wasn't Mickey gonna watch him today?",1 11107,"Me too. My God, I moved to New Jersey?",1 11108,It was horrible! You've just read a list of fish.,1 11109,"I have a big interview coming up, and my suit has holes in it. I can't sew, I don't own Navy boxers, so, yeah, I'm coloring in my butt.",3 11110,It's not just the coffeemaker.,1 11111,"Actually, it didn't end at all. I started getting bummed out, so I came here. It's what I do. When my grandma died, I got a perm.",4 11112,"Really, not one? Not even... Gazeur?",1 11113,"And then, once you're off the phone with Lily, I'll be down in the bar ready to have sex. Mm-kay?",0 11114,Box strip.,1 11115,Velour track suits!,0 11116,And you've said anything since? Bravo.,4 11117,"Yes, you can! You love her!",1 11118,"My hen, Ted did not miss much. She is brainy, boring, a bit boring in bed. In fact it would have been perfect for Ted.Oops! (Lily hits him) If I had known she was there for Ted, I would have obviously not done, but... given the circumstances, I think Ted would be proud of me. I managed The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.",0 11119,"Well, we love this bar. You can't dump her. Marry her if you have to.",2 11120,Lily.,1 11121,It's all yours.,4 11122,"I was thinking 9:00, 9:30.",1 11123,I can't believe you talked me into this.,0 11124,The sex "hotel room".,1 11125,We're so happy for you!,3 11126,Your mother and I were at second base.,0 11127,"Dude, The Blitz isn't something that can be bought or sold.",3 11128,And I think my boss is already sexually harassing me. But he saw the video and he does not care!,3 11129,I already have a father. And his name... is Loretta.,0 11130,I don't think so! Whoo!,4 11131,What are you talking about? Barney: I know Robin was never really married.,3 11132,"One more. One more time. One more big, beautiful, stupid romantic gesture. And then, whatever she says, yes or no, that's it. If it's yes, great. If it's no, then I am done going after Robin forever.",1 11133,Right this way.,1 11134,"And you know what else? I'm still finding sand everywhere. I mean, we haven't been to the beach since Argentina. Where is all coming from?",4 11135,"One second. This slap was supposed to be a wonderful thing, a gift, and it has turned against each other.",1 11136,You bros going to get dinner beforehand?,1 11137,"(yelling at Ted) Edward, this is Audrey.",0 11138,"Oh, it's not possible! I love pictures of dogs ironic. You got it there with the dog Welsh dwarf who is a missionary?",4 11139,"It's funny anyway, right?",0 11140,"Number four: "Unless you want to see it 80 times a day, for the next month, never show Robin a YouTube clip of an animal playing a musical instrument."",1 11141,"Oh, Lord, fake emergency? That is lamest, most pathetic cop-out in the book. I expect more from you, Barney.",4 11142,"So, Jen, what do you do?",1 11143,"Barney, I'm not taking the test.",4 11144,But BFFs are forever.,2 11145,I do not like it myself cuddly.,3 11146,SUCK IT LOSERS! (Burps),2 11147,"It's not crazy at all. I'm the same way. Look, Zoey, The Arcadian should be a landmark, it should. The lion head stonework is iconic. I hate that we have to tear it down. I hate working for GNB. They're a bunch of wieners and gonads.",1 11148,No. I was returning a hot dog costume that you all enjoyed.,1 11149,"Relax, it was just one night! And three after. And one morning. But at least I had pants. Even if, in fact, I had not.",1 11150,Oh!,3 11151,"Gentile? This is the worst baggage. The best: she hates her father, and she believes to be big, but no. Steamy sex at first date, and have brekky, she left. Why are you with me?",0 11152,"Uh, Ted. Sidebar?",3 11153,What?,1 11154,"Awesome air kicks, huh?",1 11155,From spicy tuna? My favorite.,2 11156,It's too stressful!,0 11157,Why are you smiling?,2 11158,What's that like?,0 11159,So did you get a good look at it?,0 11160,I'm good.,4 11161,"Her favorite CD in the Otis Redding box set? Disc three. My favorite? Any guesses? Anyone? Come on. Disc three! God, Victoria's so amazing! I could talk about her for hours.",1 11162,(mumbles) OK... (cries into Ranjit's shoulder),0 11163,You can come back later? It takes a nap.,3 11164,Okay. Are you ready?,2 11165,I have been so busy.,1 11166,I don't have a back door.,3 11167,Gravy.,1 11168,"She'll b*at him up, yes.",2 11169,Our costumes? Do they rule?,3 11170,"So you went on one date with one of her friends. It's not necessarily a big deal. I mean, did it end on bad terms?",4 11171,"You know, something that makes you funny and loved, as Marcus Denisco.",0 11172,How?,3 11173,"You gotta help us, Marshall. We're the Three Musketeers! If I let Ted I how long?",0 11174,Which brings us to the most important piece of information from tonight.,0 11175,"We'll be buried under the snow, that's what will happen.",3 11176,You have a husband? Robin: I was young and stupid and we got married at a mall and we broke up at a mall and I haven't been to a mall since.,1 11177,"Actually, I do have a standing invitation from The Captain to go for a ride with them on his boat.",1 11178,I'm sorry. So it's Gayle?,1 11179,"No, no. It's a real package from your dad.",2 11180,Of course.,4 11181,Hello?,1 11182,She cried to the song of Clint.,0 11183,(laughs) Ted's something else.,4 11184,I got it. The ultimate wager. Slap bet.,0 11185,"Patrice, can you grab my computer from the bedroom?",0 11186,They are magnificent... manly tears of pain. They are not emotional. They are a little emotional.,0 11187,"So, where are you from, Natalya?",2 11188,How do you know?,4 11189,Yeah. That guy. Look at how easy he has it.,1 11190,"Barney, put it away.",2 11191,"Oh, I make this great frisee and endive salad with a coriander lime vinaigrette.",2 11192,"Come on guys, you promised. We stay there and we try to have fun. We're all here. Being with friends. It's not that the primary?",1 11193,"Baby, we're holding up the shuttle, do you have everything you need? Toothbrush, pajamas, underpants. Underpants.",3 11194,Yes of course. Let's eat.,2 11195,I'll never wear.,1 11196,Ted! Come on. Big date.,4 11197,Why do you mention that? There was nothing between us.,1 11198,I don't know.,1 11199,"Seriously? I step away for five seconds, and you eat all my onion rings? No surprise there.",2 11200,What are you doing?,3 11201,""To pierce the ear. "Done. Well, I go to a laundry at my mother. (Barney hand, then returned several hours later) Do you mind if I use your futon?",0 11202,"Uh, that you're letting yourself believe she's crazy so you don't have to face the far more likely possibility that she doesn't want to date you either?",1 11203,"Thank you. I am calling her; this is crazy I haven't talked to her in, like, three years. I wonder if she even remembers me.",1 11204,You got it.,3 11205,You two never hang out alone. You just made up those nicknames right now.,2 11206,"Hey, you were right. The Kangs did, in fact, have an umbrella.",3 11207,Who are these girls? It was rhetorical. Show me the list.,1 11208,"Wait-- no, no, baby... Baby, I got it. Let me.",2 11209,"What do you say that? We agree that it makes no sense to have a child before he saw the five doubles, right?",2 11210,You are good.,0 11211,I knew I'd catch up with you guys eventually. So much to tell. I couldn't find Lily at party number three so I walked... I walked to the next party on the list.,3 11212,"You know, in a way, I was right. You cheated. You can't get some crib sheet on dating me. That's not how it works. If we didn't figure out how to be with each other in a real, honest way, I don't see the point of even trying.",4 11213,"I got this. So, emperor penguins-- crazy, huh?",0 11214,Really? That'd be great.,2 11215,You just did it again.,1 11216,"Not Lily and Marshall, no way.",1 11217,"Oh, she works in my office. She seems like she might be into me. She's always finding reasons to hug me. So tonight...",1 11218,"Where's where Was was, isn't it?",2 11219,Marshall!,2 11220,It's Canada. Question one: Do you want to be Canadian? Question two: really?,0 11221,Here's your sack lunch.,2 11222,"No, you're not a real New Yorker until you've k*ll a cockroach with your bare hands.",3 11223,Right. (he hangs up end takes the other call)- Hello?,1 11224,Thanks.,2 11225,Hey. How are you feeling? You looked kind of feverish last night.,2 11226,"It's going pretty fast, do not you think?",0 11227,There he just says the obvious.,0 11228,Right.,1 11229,Saving money. Making new friends. No downside.,1 11230,"That's an intervention. You could not stop eating, so we threw your cam.",1 11231,But I can not lie on national TV.,3 11232,"No, she doesn't wanna wait.",1 11233,Marshall is really excited. But I think he sees only the good sides of it.,2 11234,He wears a diaper.,4 11235,A butterfly? (Everyone laughs) What?,1 11236,And do not forget...,1 11237,"So, who's the lucky patient?",2 11238,"If you wonder, I would be at McLaren's playing a character from the Book of roles being called The Diver. That's all.",0 11239,"City hall, Miss Thang!",2 11240,That's not what you think.,3 11241,"Congratulations, buddy.",3 11242,"So, ladies, why don't we move this party to a more horizontal location?",0 11243,"Or, there is a bench in the elevator.",0 11244,"See? 'Cause, 'cause he got hit...",0 11245,You'll fall in love.,1 11246,Lily told you.,4 11247,"You can not manipulate people like that! I've known you for 12 years, but I've never been back!",1 11248,Even if we're not.,1 11249,"Oh, uh, only 'cause you have nothing to do all day.",2 11250,"Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God, if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her, I will take those peanuts you try to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard your eyes pop out and then I'll feed them to you like grapes.",2 11251,"What? Okay, this is getting creepy. Who, who is this guy? I gotta find him.",1 11252,"Trick question, Marshall's never been to the Pacific Northwest because he's afraid of Sasquatch.",2 11253,Fooled ya. Leave a message after the beep. We'll get back to ya. Beep.,2 11254,...any aspirin?,3 11255,"At the other end of the hall, there is... Clax... pa... I.",1 11256,Best night ever!,3 11257,Lily was mentally deranged!,1 11258,"No. Look, I need this, too. I've only been a professor a few weeks. Being up here, it's, it's good practice for me.",1 11259,I'm not wearing a suit.,1 11260,And the thing where he establishs intimacy through physical contact?,4 11261,*I couldn't if I tried*,2 11262,"You gave me Chlamydia, you jerk! (She throws a drink at his face and leaves)",2 11263,It's a girl I plugged in a few weeks ago. It is not certain.She sees the doctor tomorrow.,0 11264,The guy who was basically a dog?,2 11265,"Oh, he is good. Classic seduction technique.",0 11266,Tony Bennett passed Ted the mike and he sang "Twist and Shout!",4 11267,200 is too much.,1 11268,Hey Brad.,0 11269,"You blew it, dude. Now that Lily's there, it's a whole new dynamic. They're edging you out.",0 11270,The painting!,2 11271,Okay. This is certainly the biggest con on this planet.,2 11272,"No, you have to. She likes you. She said so herself. (clearing throat) I mean...",2 11273,Dad returned.,0 11274,"Oh, hey guys, hey Ranjit.",4 11275,"Oh, God.",2 11276,"You don't remember the last thing you said to me when I was a kid? Well... you know, why don't you just go back home?",0 11277,Whatever... This proves my point. You lied to me to protect me.,3 11278,"You don't have to tell me. And, um... just for fun, I've... I've sort of been working on my own idea of what I think the building should be. What do you think?",1 11279,"Every Halloween, I bring a spare costume in case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. That way I have a second chance to make a first impression.",0 11280,"Hello Robin, it's Ted.",1 11281,Exactly.,4 11282,"Finally, Ted called her up.",4 11283,"Uh, hey, guys.",1 11284,"Wait. Before that, I must tell you something.",4 11285,"No. Ted. We got her. It's, it's the craziest thing. We were searching all week and then a couple hours ago...",3 11286,You're scared of the Seven Dwarfs?,1 11287,"See, you say that. You say it's going to be this much fun. But most of the time it ends up being this much fun. This much fun is good! It's safe. It's guaranteed!",1 11288,"Jeff Foxworthy? No, it's Jim Varney. You're kidding me. You don't know that?",0 11289,I know.,1 11290,Hey. You feeling better?,1 11291,"Yes, we are. It's the only way.",2 11292,I love a scotch that's old enough to order its own scotch.,4 11293,"Hey, random question. How do you feel about cats?",1 11294,Big luck!,3 11295,And how!,1 11296,"Yeah. Hey, what's my 'but'? You know, I'm really nice, but...",4 11297,"What? What, what were you guys gonna do but never did.",1 11298,"Oh, I don't know. Why don't you ask the new substitute weekend anchor. Robin? Thanks, Robin, it was awesome. Back to you, Robin.",4 11299,"That's all, Vampire Lou. Nicely done.",0 11300,It is as limp as spaghetti.,3 11301,"Run! Oh, my God, Not Moby's party is party number four. What are the odds?",1 11302,"Dude, your narrow-minded views on professional fornicators were harshing my mellow. So I got you a date for the evening.",0 11303,Hey! How'd it go? You pregnant yet?,1 11304,"Yes, yes. Where is Lenny Kravitz?",4 11305,Wow.,4 11306,"Now, we talk about it.",0 11307,"I'll have you know I composed a lovely form letter for use in just such an occasion. Just fill out her name and then... Something with a "A." A... A... I'll just put "resident." Go, go, go, go.",0 11308,I can't sleep.,3 11309,Go.,2 11310,"Cat funeral, cat funeral, it was an accident and not entirely my fault, cat funeral, meow, meow, meow, meow, ca funeral, meow, meow, meow, meow. We'll miss you, whiskers, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow...",3 11311,"I think what Barney's saying is that definitions are important. You're their teacher, not their friend.",2 11312,Was there more to that story?,1 11313,Who's "he"?!,3 11314,Go. It's not like that.,2 11315,I don't have another one. I'm flat broke. My only other suit options are track or birthday.,3 11316,"No, it's Marshall. Married to Lily.",4 11317,"A gifriend's a bit much, Brad, okay?

Hey there, Scherbats, your voice of reason here.",4 11392,Hy! My name is Lily and I'm a shopaholic.,2 11393,It hurts my eyes.,2 11394,"Mouse? Sweetie, that wasn't a mouse. That was a huge cockroach.",2 11395,This isn't hopeless. You're gonna find someone for me.,1 11396,Yep. Yesterday.,1 11397,"I realized that no matter what my friends think of my girlfriend, but it really matters what my girlfriend thinks of my friends.",1 11398,"So, we drive. It's time. It's time to get back to real life. It's time to grow up. Yeah Mom! Can you make us some PB and J's for the road?",3 11399,"Hey, Robin.",3 11400,Both? (To Barney) Both of their boyfriends are linebackers.,1 11401,You have nabbed seven in a row?,3 11402,"Hey! Hey, guys.",3 11403,With this economy?,0 11404,That was after you to be part.,0 11405,It was a completely random moment. The kind that you can create yourself... At least I thought.,1 11406,"Maybe. But I think I just found it. Right here. Baby, I'm giving you sexy smoldering with just a hint of crazy eyes.",3 11407,I was a presenter here for Metro News One.,4 11408,It's an audio book about a boy and his dog. It made Elisabeth Hasselbeck cry.,2 11409,"Okay. All my friends from high school, are there with their wives and children. And me? My appointment is a dirty magazine.",1 11410,How?,3 11411,That bitch is not giving us the walk-by.,4 11412,"Oh, yeah, that's what I was doing. I was building him up so few minutes later, I could totally cut him down.",2 11413,I know.,1 11414,I went back to the coffeehouse to find Shannon.,0 11415,I tried.,2 11416,"Okay. Lily, I'm sorry that I lied about wanting to settle down.",0 11417,What did Ted this time?,4 11418,"Yes, it's just... It's not really... that, you know?",4 11419,Really? Why? You with her?,3 11420,That wasn't a real secret.,1 11421,"If, when you're great like me. Listen to this. Robin taking into account the number of beds in which we did. One is 83 and a half.",0 11422,"Ted, what is the truth? Why do you want to break up with her?",2 11423,(at various pitches) Bowl. Bowl. Bowl. Bowl.,1 11424,They're just patching her up. She's gonna be fine.,3 11425,Rule number one: don't go anywhere that has candles.,2 11426,"Actually, you're way better now. You last, like, two, three times as long.",2 11427,(arriving behind Robin and putting his hands over her eyes) Guess who?,1 11428,Here's the disgusting smelly hippie with whom I go out.,1 11429,And you would pay me for that?,3 11430,"Yeah, for 89 bucks a night, we're doing it. I would like to propose a toast. To the most awesomely mellow anniversary ever.",3 11431,"Look out, man.",3 11432,We're idiots.,3 11433,Your relationship sounds exhausting.,2 11434,"I knew I was a bad boyfriend, but I had no idea that I was worse in the former boyfriend. I'm sorry. How can I be forgiven?",0 11435,I have a spaceship.,3 11436,I don't recall.,2 11437,"I know! When I got that left-hand- yellow, I was like, "what?!"",2 11438,You realize what a hero I'd be if I brought this project to my box?,1 11439,This is it.,3 11440,(On Phone) Robin! Uh... Where's Lily,3 11441,Hey.,3 11442,"Or rather, look for a husband.",1 11443,"Band? Check. Two months, baby. Two months.",3 11444,I know but tonight...,0 11445,The last time you and I are just competing for the title of best friend Ted.,0 11446,So the mystery celebrity who collects something mysterious asked you to do a mystery Canadian sex act.,2 11447,"My God, I hope that Arthur is well. I reserve her office in case.",0 11448,Come on...,0 11449,I had a job offer in Chicago.,4 11450,"Hey, I'm project manager now, so, if you want your old job back...",1 11451,"How? How would one do that exactly? Seriously, don't giggle. Tell me.",0 11452,"Barney, I'm no shrink, okay, but don't you see that this is just a desperate way for you to avoid an unpleasant confrontation with Ted?",3 11453,"Oh, Baby! And if instead of going to dunk on your desk... you allongeras and I'd put the banana oil everywhere?",2 11454,"I don't understand. If last night went so horribly, why do Lily and Marshall think it was such a hit?",1 11455,Then can I have the...? That's cool. You keep that.,2 11456,"Damn Robin, think about it a moment, Blue Bug is the mayor anti cigarette. You really want to go to the interview smelling cigarettes? It's like interviewing a feeling the vegetarian steak.",1 11457,"Oh, baby, this is it. Let's do this thing.",3 11458,"Ladies and gentlemen, the McLaren's hired a sexy barmaid.",0 11459,It can get warm with a glass?,1 11460,"Now, we all know Robin's not what you'd call "touchy-feely." She doesn't say, "I love you," like a normal person. Instead, she'll laugh, shake her head, give you a little smile and say, "You're an idiot."",1 11461,"Yeah. I mean, you basically live here anyway. It's not like it'll change anything.",1 11462,A very big check!,0 11463,"Well, no matter how bad things got... Ted really did love Zoey for a minute there. Didn't he?",4 11464,"Lily, we are living with a possum. Rex is violent and he hates us.",3 11465,"You can make us one of those rum and beer, that your father loves so much?",0 11466,"You see, it's really annoying.",2 11467,"You know how they caught him, huh?",1 11468,"Okay my... my social is, uh... 1glmmdhgj2.",2 11469,(signing) I'm Edward. Nice to meet you too.,1 11470,"Guys, there's not way Robin's married. It's ludicrous to even suggest it.",0 11471,Because Robin is your best friend.,1 11472,Neither have I. Of course I cheat.,0 11473,The tie m*rder by Robin.,0 11474,I put him in a cab.,4 11475,"So, have you thought more about coming to work for Barney Corp?",0 11476,We talk about a woman that Barney Stinson has worked. I vote for Narnia.,4 11477,Shut up!,4 11478,What?,4 11479,"Oh, somebody should lock you girls up.",1 11480,"Ted, you should be happy Robin has a secret. The more you learn about a person, the better chance you have of hitting the fatal 'oh' moment.",0 11481,Guys... I just bought the house of my dreams.,1 11482,Thank God.,1 11483,Great. Nice.,3 11484,"I gotta tell you, just by looking at your room, I know we have much in common.",1 11485,And my abs muscle nicotine. I... am... muscular.,0 11486,Right? Right?,3 11487,We can not decide for you. It's huge.,1 11488,"Yes sweetie, and you are very pretty.",2 11489,"You can be choosey? You're in a bar on Valentine's Day, uh!",2 11490,You missed it!,2 11491,"It's helping. You slept with Robin?! I... I cannot keep that secret. I mean, you know I at least have to tell Lily.",3 11492,"OK, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. People with real game don't need eye patches.",1 11493,We're having a baby.,2 11494,"Yes, our plan worked better than we ever dreamed. You have to go to him. Here's his home address. But you know what? He works late, so I wouldn't go before 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning.",0 11495,You guys said I was definitely going to spend the night.,1 11496,"Look. We're all friends again! Now working on the harmonies. Merry, Merry Lily-versary! Merry, Merry Lily-versary!",3 11497,What's going on?,0 11498,"Remember? When it comes to you, how could I forget?",0 11499,Really?,2 11500,What if I can't have a baby? That could happen. I could totally let you down. Has that thought not occurred to you?,2 11501,You don't have to answer. You can just let it ring.,4 11502,"Only hell, yes. Oh yeah, yeah. This is what I needed. I felt so powerless this whole time but this... This is power, this is... (He sh**t and falls down)",3 11503,What?,0 11504,"Okay, no onions.",0 11505,"Men... Actually, that's true. I went there.",2 11506,"This! This whole thing! We were having a perfectly nice trip, and then you kidnapped me. You didn't even let me, put on underwear!",3 11507,"Yeah Robin, I mean my God... not only is it a bad habit but... Do I have one?",3 11508,Can I get you a beer?,1 11509,"This? No, no. It's a heart monitor. It's a medical thing.",0 11510,Please stop!,2 11511,Your hair is adorable!,4 11512,thank you.,4 11513,"Wait. If this was last year, why are you acting like it was Oliver Twist?",1 11514,Philly? That's where we're headed!,0 11515,"No, that's not it.",3 11516,"I thought of something to become indispensable.The Ecolo-man! Everyone loves recycling, eh?",3 11517,"And when the van is gone, which shows up if it is not the owner of the apartment, which had just been robbed help. And that was hard to explain to the police.",2 11518,"Get this, she's a marine biologist. She spent a year in Antarctica studying penguins.",1 11519,"We're sorry, Ted. It'll never happen again.",3 11520,"I will never use a Goliath ATM ever again. Goliath National Bank sucks. It's the worst bank on the face of the earth. Attention, New Yorkers, this bank sucks! They suck!",2 11521,I can't... I can't do this! I can't stop thinking about you and Robin!,3 11522,"Well, Barney, you go out... You just get out of a sincere relationship. You're a big boy now. You can return to your towers to two euros.",2 11523,"I guess this is the best choice, Robin. Finally... the men are stronger than women.",0 11524,"This look is hunger. If you ever see Robin looking like this, get some food in her quick,or one of two things will happen. One: weird, out-of-context laughter. (changing the photo) Or two: spontaneously falling to sleep in strange places. But the most important facial expression of all?",1 11525,And me too. He has how many hands?,0 11526,"Yeah, I'll sleep with her. After, he'll tell her he loves her.And you can do... what you want. Is there agreement on the order?",0 11527,No. I've made my decision.,3 11528,Cannibal.,2 11529,"Totally lady bone k*ll, but not an eight.",4 11530,"Yes, exactly. It's not something you want to be. It's something you need to be. You don't have a choice, right? None of you has a choice.",1 11531,Don't... You...,0 11532,"Oh, you can't tell her that. That's horrible.",3 11533,how Kristof?,2 11534,You have a boyfriend?,1 11535,"Oh, come on, dude! Three months working with me, you'll make more than Lily makes in a year.",0 11536,"You know, the more I watch this, the less convinced I am that it's the greatest pickup line of all time.",4 11537,"Oh, thank you! Wait. Good evening, New York.",4 11538,Why?,4 11539,I can not believe that Robin is upset.,0 11540,"God, you're smart!",0 11541,"I know. I mean, I guess if you get all this for Karen, then it may be better.",1 11542,"What? I was not afraid! I did a lot of fights, OK?",3 11543,"Why? It's a trap, you're a fan of the Packers? My wife knows I'm here. She has no money, however it has very special k*ll.",3 11544,Someone has already put on YouTube?,4 11545,How many bridesmaids? Robin: Seven.,1 11546,How so?,0 11547,"Oh, really? Then why don't you tell us your most humiliating moment, Marshall? Show me how good it is.",0 11548,"And one day he will be the best uncle in the world. Because it Barney, he is part of our family.",2 11549,"Oh, it's my dad.",3 11550,"Do like I was nice. I mean, it's really nice of you, Judy.You too. See you soon.",2 11551,It turned 'What is his head? "Ted! And "What's his head? "Was priceless.,3 11552,Okay. Let's get this started.,2 11553,"Maybe. But, Marshall, if you have not been attacked by a monkey, Robin must not speak on his show. It would be more credible.",1 11554,"Sorry, Marshall. But if I have to, you have to.",4 11555,It's not a burger place anymore; it's a Goliath National Bank ATM.,1 11556,"No, Barney hit us head to pretend. Without in December ', Marshall!",1 11557,Heads! It's going to be heads. It's almost usually heads.,3 11558,"20,000 says it's p*rn.",0 11559,What are you doing?,4 11560,That was you? Awesome!,1 11561,"Did I bet someone that they'd call it off? I did, didn't I? Who'd I bet?",0 11562,I had perhaps not done playing with. I just left to play with something else for a while.,0 11563,"No... a friend of mine named, shut up.",0 11564,What?,4 11565,It was increasingly hard for him to act as if I was a boy.,4 11566,Hello.,2 11567,"oh, that's not a tattoo. That, dear boy, is a tramp stamp!",0 11568,"Ted! It was our first post! It is popular. It was... a golf magazine for... Marissa Heller. A catalog of wicker furniture, also Marissa Heller. And a voucher for a bird shop... addressed to Marissa Heller... or check it out... "Current Resident." It's us! It has mail!",3 11569,I shall write this set of rules. And I shall inscribe it on theacack of the Constitution. To save paper.,0 11570,"She made that cake. Ted, this is the girl. You gotta marry her, today. She has to move in with us.",3 11571,"Oh, God, no!",0 11572,Where is Robin?,2 11573,"Well, then why did you have me drink it?!",3 11574,You do not have any illusions.,0 11575,"Oh, that's such a cliché.",2 11576,"She's dead, isn't she?",2 11577,Mm. We ate nothing but jerky.,1 11578,Bob Barker is your father.,3 11579,"Like, the other night, I wake up at 4:00 a.m",4 11580,I don't know-- more people might be harder to sneak in. We don't want to mess things up for Lily.,4 11581,"I know. I love you, but I want this new bed is a sanctuary of my sleep and my sleep only.",2 11582,"Okay, baby, what gives?",2 11583,Looks like the earring Robin. Bizarre. It's you...,1 11584,"No, Virginia, you're delightful, I am deligh-ted. And he's just Ted. I'm really not planning these things; they just keep happening.",0 11585,I know.,3 11586,"Sorry, Ted, I won't be able to make foxy boxing tonight.",0 11587,Shut up.,3 11588,And so... there will not slap... of... today.,3 11589,"It's funny, I also had a drinking game based on Robin, Robin finally. At the bottom of her stomach...",0 11590,Excuse me.,4 11591,"I had no cowboy hat, and it was the day of fire safety at school... My God, ***** s. This is our theme.",2 11592,So we've got the whole place to ourselves.,3 11593,I will prove it. I'll show you how much I'm serious. I will not leave this restaurant as I have not got a second date with you.,0 11594,"I can't, I'm waiting...",1 11595,"So Love Solutions, did you meet the love of your life?",4 11596,That's not true.,4 11597,I like the beard.,4 11598,"Yeah, sun's gonna come up soon. Wouldn't want to be around for that, would we?",1 11599,Space Teens?! Is this a porno?,0 11600,"Guys, I dated you both, and neither of you is good at pressing or even finding the button. After some awkward pawing around, that building's going to fake an implosion, say, "Baby, that was great"" and go to sleep.",4 11601,They're back.,4 11602,Really. New Jersey wins.,1 11603,I'm gonna go home tonight with a lot of great memories and one really sucky memory: the memory of you walking out that door.,1 11604,Don't reach into the living room!,2 11605,"Well, kind of a reporter. I do those dumb little fluff pieces at the end of the news, you know. Like-um-monkey that can play the ukulele. I'm hoping to get some bigger stories soon.",4 11606,One second. It is not our chair. You've made yourself?,1 11607,"And now, here's Curt "the iron man" irons with sports. Curt? (he's demoralized) Curt?",4 11608,That's right.,1 11609,We didn't know our way around. Just getting back to the apartment took us three hours and one very helpful drag queen.,1 11610,"In a few minutes, the young me your time will enter through this door. I know it sounds crazy, but to save the planet, you have to sleep with him tonight.",0 11611,"Bro Code article 89: "The mom of a bro is always off limits, but the stepmom of a bro is fair game if she initiates it, and/or is wearing at least one a article of leopard print clothing."",0 11612,So prove it. And... take me a pudding.,3 11613,They surprised you with a girl?,3 11614,"Fine, I'll call them tomorrow. I'll call them right now.",4 11615,You think so?,1 11616,"Listen up! You sound like that big beta colo. "Mom, Dad, I want to go. Cool boys play hide and seek with my inhaler. "",4 11617,I will not tell him to come.,1 11618,"Uh, you're right. I'll, uh, I'll see you at home.",1 11619,"So, admit it, this wedding is both indoors and amazing.",3 11620,Why not? Lay it on me.,4 11621,I'm in a hurry to meet him.,2 11622,Nice.,2 11623,"Removes "colonoscopy" and "sleeping with an old", and is a cinch.",1 11624,"Fran, I will not bother you, but I have a presentation tomorrow and it would help me if I could have tables and graphs. Can you help me?",3 11625,"Oh, Sichuan Garden! Are we really bailing?",3 11626,"Uh, I know this is a long sh*t, but how about tomorrow night?",1 11627,I didn't go.,1 11628,"Universe. So, this plan you speak of?",2 11629,We got to make a decision. Todd and Valerie are in motion. Van Smoot!,3 11630,I have an idea. The next two months Ted has paid anyway. We could not let it continue and not to tell her? He had a tough year. Let the fun a little.,3 11631,You want to dance? Let's dance.,4 11632,Smile.,2 11633,Absolutely.,0 11634,"Come on, Lily, don't hate the player, hate the game.",0 11635,I have to listen to it. It's a pocket dial. It's nothing.,3 11636,The blue line?,0 11637,"Okay, fine, I'll watch it with you. Yeah! But if either of you makes even one peep about the show being dirty, I'm turning it off.",4 11638,"Ranjit, turn it around.",1 11639,"Alright, cool kids are leaving now. Grandma, grandpa... don't wait up.",1 11640,"I deserve this apartment, Marshall.",1 11641,"Clearly, we need to ignore this.",1 11642,"I know, right? I'd really miss them too. So, maybe Marshall's room?",1 11643,"It was 300 years ago. Sailors stuck at sea would get desperate for female companionship. It got so bad that, eventually, the manatees out in the water started to look like... beautiful women. Mermaids. Let's go get some tail! Oh. You see, every woman, no matter how initially repugnant, has a mermaid clock... the time it takes for you to realize you want to bone her. Sure, today you see Iris as a manatee. But she ain't gonna stay that way. Marshall, your secretary's mermaid clock starts right now.",0 11644,How long have you been there?,0 11645,"Okay, awesome. Well, Lily doesn't let me do truths. So, dare.",3 11646,I won't.,1 11647,"What are you doing, Ted? And if one breaks?",3 11648,"OK, Ted, I found a way for you to help someone, to do some good. This is Walter, and Walter is homeless. And Walter would like a lap dance.",0 11649,"Oh, we're not drinking here. Tonight we're going big. Let's see, what club should we hit first? There's Club Was, there's Wrong...",0 11650,"Hey. Hey, put that away. Tonight's on me.",1 11651,What? Who was he?,1 11652,"Ay, Chihuahua.",3 11653,What?,2 11654,What? We do break? What does that mean? And why they wear a night gown?,4 11655,Why are you here?,1 11656,"Marshall, when it's stomach stuff, you just say "under the weather," or people start picturing you doing unspeakable things.",2 11657,"Oh, well, what about Chucky?",2 11658,"Yeah, that I just always wanted to do.",2 11659,No!,0 11660,I authorize you to do.,3 11661,Encyclopedia?,3 11662,Because... gross?,1 11663,"Yes, Barney, your submissions were received and no, we will not be attending any parties in your pants.",1 11664,... and the magazine says one thing and no one.,3 11665,"And so, inevitably, you have to do the thing you've been dreading all along. Now, a relationship-ectomy is a delicate surgery as it is, but in the case of the platinum rule, it takes a very, very steady hand, and that's step 7: CONFRONTATION.",0 11666,"You know, it's funny. I remember when you told me stuff like that.",3 11667,"I can't. Marshall's right. I was young and I got married. It was a mistake and he moved away, but, yeah, I'm married.",4 11668,Nothing. Nothing happened. We... We just went to sleep.,2 11669,Where are you going? We just got here.,2 11670,"Let me reassure you. I do not want to Stella. She lied to me, dumped me at the altar. Who can do that? I'm better off without her. It is all yours, buddy.",1 11671,"four, eight... thirteen, you stay. The other, you can leave.",0 11672,"Kind of amazingly. Uh, she's 28, like me.",1 11673,"It must have Petra! Petra was to be the 200th!Beautiful, feminine, "unrestrained power in bed", Petra!",0 11674,Hey! What are you doing here?,1 11675,"I feel sorry for Paris and group photos ruined, but... when you're single, you must hope that every girl is good. I mean, Erin.Irene.",1 11676,"No, it has to be the two of us.",0 11677,"Abby and I are in love. Not hot passionate love. Couple love. You know, movie night with my girlfriend, then waiting for her to go to bed so I can steal one pitiful moment of hollow ecstasy by the cold, blue light of my computer monitor.",0 11678,"Oh, please... your company is not called Barney Corp.",3 11679,I can not. You're sexier than she.,3 11680,"I'm okay. In fact, here's how okay I am. I'm gettin' a tattoo.",1 11681,"And Henrietta, in any way, are not losing time with you, huh?",4 11682,"The children, who wants to stop earlier and eat orange slices?",3 11683,You see that guy over there in diving suit? You think you're going to go talk to him?,2 11684,"What? No no, that's some other guy and he was a kick-ass fighter pilot",0 11685,Fine (takes bottle. Looks at it for a couple of seconds) Please open it (hands it to Lily),3 11686,Come down.,1 11687,I don't see anything.,1 11688,(Comes out wearing many coats) Barney.,1 11689,You and me in the closet of the Spanish supermarket next door.,0 11690,You don't have a 'but'.,1 11691,Let me tell you a story that happened to me recently.,0 11692,"Oh, great, there it is. Thanks, Lily. You're a peach. Oh, wow, look at that. Robin landed on the Chocolate Swamp. That's five chips for me.",0 11693,How can he not see it? I mean there's the...,2 11694,"Well, technically, they'd get an incomplete, but I thought "F" had a nice, scary ring to it. Right?",1 11695,Where may well be nuts Ted? You should check the garage in the grip of Stella.,0 11696,"You say stuff pictures. Expect. You do not want it to look like a couple, right?",4 11697,"OK, you know what? I'm calling her.",3 11698,"New objective: Our marriage is to kick the ass of hers.Our marriage is to take the head of his, press it down the toilet and flush 20 times.",1 11699,"Good night, Mommy.",0 11700,Why are you sleeping in our tub?,1 11701,Ted Mosby... Architect.,0 11702,Give me your phone. We're deleting Don's number.,2 11703,It is too much to your hook.,4 11704,"Seriously? The North Pole? Okay, pal, if you want to break up with me, just tell it to me straight. Don't pretend you're going someplace we all know doesn't exist.",4 11705,"I swear, I gave up these shots there. I became legit. I am now matchmaker.",2 11706,"Yeah, I'm gonna have to break up with him.",4 11707,"How do you do that? You are like a b*mb dog, except with poop. You are a poop-sniffing dog.",4 11708,"Ted's in love with Zoey? But, but she's married. That boy needs an intervention.",3 11709,"You know not to play bridge, eh?",0 11710,Served.,0 11711,So... what do we do now?,4 11712,"Robin, you know I'm right. Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away. Usually, it just makes it bigger.",1 11713,No.,4 11714,What?,1 11715,I do charity work all the time. Remember when I said I'd find you a girlfriend.,4 11716,"Humans are not made to share a bed. Sex and sleep are associated, but these are two different things.",3 11717,Maybe. But hum... I don't want to stop having sex.,4 11718,"Oh, please, what does Carlos have that I don't?",0 11719,"February 5,... In 1998. I painted...",2 11720,Oh! You know what? I bet sleeping at this angle is good for you. For some reason.,4 11721,"I thought I ruined it by putting a clock on it, Barney?",3 11722,Pete arrested me before I could look at it.,2 11723,It should not come.,3 11724,"It's going to come. You see, I knew it was wrong. You two were too happy, too radiant, too "surnomants". It was not right.Never disputes? Crap. You argue all... the... time.",1 11725,Sorry guys. I'll just make a fruit cup.,2 11726,"Well maybe eventually. Some fall day. Possibly in Central Park. Simple ceremony, we'll write our own vows. But--eh--no DJ, people will dance. I'm not going to worry about it! Damn it, why did Marshall have to get engaged? (Yasmine laughs) Yeah, nothing hotter than a guy planning out his own imaginary wedding, huh?",1 11727,What does that mean?,0 11728,"They've turned, eh?",0 11729,"What do you mean "Win the breakup", old timey inventor.",2 11730,"Well, I don't need it, but thanks.",3 11731,Scooter canteen was still there today.,2 11732,"Natalie! Hey, Happy Birthday! Listen...",1 11733,"Dude, seriously, relax.",0 11734,"You didn't happen to bring an umbrella, did you?",3 11735,I will not say explicitly.,1 11736,I thought so.,2 11737,That's not it. Guys... I'm not as*ault by a monkey.,3 11738,You know what? It's not. This woman needs it bad. Anything you do is going to be fireworks. I remember my longest drought...,2 11739,"199 satisfied customers. Finally, the big night is Thursday. I give a reception before, in McClaren's. Prepares a toast. Tuxedo optional but desired. Gifts are, I would say useless, but follow your heart.",0 11740,God.,4 11741,"No, I meant punching Brad.",0 11742,You think I'm proud of this?! I'm horrified that this happened.,0 11743,There. Deleted.,4 11744,We've got to stop Ted. Where are they meeting?,0 11745,"No, it's true! I love it! I have a culture of hockey. If a guy is a fighter, it is rather sexy. And scars, seriously! If a guy has one, it has a Robin. And if he lost a tooth, I lose my panties.",4 11746,What was it with Bilson?,0 11747,You have to say it.,1 11748,"Uh, it's delicious enough.",4 11749,Why are you guys even a country?,0 11750,"Try not to laugh with you that, man.",3 11751,Point Robin.,2 11752,"Yeah, all day long, you've been busting my apple bag about finding this girl.",1 11753,"It looks bad, is what it looks like. You cannot do this.",3 11754,"Zoey, wait! I don't hate you! We just can't be friends anymore because... Robin hates you.",2 11755,Leave me alone.,4 11756,"No, Was wasn't where Where was, Was was where Wrong was, right?",0 11757,You are? That's so nice!,4 11758,Hello.,3 11759,"Yeah, I-I know.",2 11760,"Look, Stella, I understand that coming from New Jersey, you think not to like New York, but believe me, Marshall did not believe it either, and now he would move for anything.",2 11761,"Oh, Barney's done.",4 11762,"Well then, what do you have?",0 11763,Our characters had pet beavers.,4 11764,"No, I'm sorry, I... I can't do this anymore. I need an answer.",4 11765,"Yeah, we all know that one.",1 11766,"Oh my God, I had totally forgotten that.",3 11767,I'm gonna rip that girl's clothes off...,2 11768,I can do better. Take me back. You son of a bitch!,3 11769,"I think I'm gonna go to a homeless shelter, serve food.",1 11770,"Oh, thank god... I've never been in a fight before. (hugs him)",3 11771,"Okay, um... the pecan pie is gonna take the longest. Why don't we put that one in first?",4 11772,"All right, let's do it.",4 11773,"(laughs) You wanna scoop stuffing your first day out? Hello, NFL, can I be quarterback this Sunday? Dude.",0 11774,"Yeah, I guess.",4 11775,"But, Judy, you said...",2 11776,Wait. Look at these pictures. Barney always has the same pose and all these years.,4 11777,This is bad.,3 11778,"This part is right. It is not unusual, right? Thailand, China, Costa Rica, people are attacked by monkeys all the time.They are gatherers. Because of their dynamic inter-social, have a predisposition to flight, gives them a genetic advantage.",3 11779,I have to get Robin.,0 11780,"I see. Why not: "I have told anyone yet, but I only have three months to live"?",4 11781,"Well, I'll admit, at first, I felt a little weird. But after the initial shock, I realized something: I've moved on. Finished with that. It was a peaceful moment of closure.",4 11782,"Hey, Zoey. That cousin of yours... Honey... yowsa! I must say, your family tree has got a couple of pretty big coconuts.",0 11783,She touched my nose.,1 11784,My brothers.,3 11785,"Before you go meet your future wife, why don't you swing by Don's party with me?",4 11786,What is that?,1 11787,Of course there are.,4 11788,"Hi, Ted. It's Robin. Um, listen, I know it's late, but, uh, do you want to come over?",4 11789,"Yes, they do.",1 11790,"Guys, Barney's losing his childhood home, he finally admitted Bob Barker's not his dad, and then he watched James meet his real father. It's just a lot to go through in one afternoon. Can't we just let the guy be black for a day?",3 11791,"You're waiting for me to comment on your self-assigned nickname? Well, here's my comment. I love it.",3 11792,You're also trying to get me excited about fondue?,3 11793,That's outrageous.,0 11794,"It's because I'm in love with Zoey, and she's married, so it needs to stop. And... intervene.",1 11795,"I know! I hate this. These past three weeks have been great. I should be in love with her, but I'm not feeling that thing. It's ineffable.",1 11796,Really? You?,1 11797,That's a handy new trick. (They run up to the dance floor),1 11798,"That, Barney, is the American actor, beloved by millions, the "Hey, Vern" guy from the popular series of Ernest films. And his name... Jeff Foxworthy.",4 11799,Costumes!,0 11800,It's downright hell.,0 11801,We must control our...,3 11802,And Robin.,4 11803,Lily told me.,3 11804,"Peonies, lavender blossoms with a halo of baby's breath for an ambiance of springtime rejuvenation.",1 11805,"It was Bilson. Bilson wanted to have a head office in the dinosaur, Barney convinced him that it was really, really stupid.",3 11806,"So, Gatsby, what are you goanna do when Robin shows up?",3 11807,That guy you fell in love. I hope his girlfriend is not jealous. He spoke of a friend or...?,4 11808,It's pretty awesome.,1 11809,I need to go to the restroom.,2 11810,"'Cause if you can't promise me that, we shoul just break up right now. I'm not gonna wait around for three months just to have my heart ripped out.",3 11811,That's ridiculous. Wait. Really?,1 11812,"Yeah, you should have.",3 11813,I should go talk to her.,3 11814,It was on his way and Marshall wanted to stop to help guys to load their van.,2 11815,"The magic tricks? Guys, interventions are meant to help people, not to address every aspect you do not like.Sorry, but it warms me. It makes me boil! I mean, I am filled with a burning rage! (There is a magic trick, but set fire to the banner) Thanks! Oh, shit.",0 11816,Have you seen my show?,4 11817,How's you all?,4 11818,"Well, they and Ted.",4 11819,I know. The last one is kinda cute.,3 11820,We're going to Atlantic City to elope right now!,2 11821,"Barney, no.",3 11822,No.,3 11823,"Shouldn't we hold out for the person who doesn't just tolerate our little quirks, but actually kind of likes them? Even if it means finding ourselves on another blind date with each other, seven years from now?",1 11824,"Robin, seriously, just make this easier on yourself and give us the tape.",0 11825,384 West 22nd.,1 11826,Pregnancy?,4 11827,It's not ideal.,1 11828,"I do not see it. It must be voluntary. So, another bar?",2 11829,No way! March does not have 31 days.,0 11830,It may be that I moved to Chicago next week.,4 11831,I can't think straight! Why do you have to wear that shirt? This is not how I thought this night was going to go!,3 11832,"Hold it, I- i don't understand. Did we do something wrong or...?",3 11833,I'm gonna go find him.,4 11834,I've moved on.,1 11835,"Hmm, but, girlfriend, you cannot pull off a tall kitchen.",2 11836,"You mean, the girl who chalked your pool cue and snuck down the fire escape.",0 11837,Maybe he's going to buy you one.,2 11838,selfish bastard! There are two cannons girls who come to us here.,0 11839,"Okay. Come on, get up, let us see how bad it is.",4 11840,You know...,4 11841,Have you ever looked.,4 11842,"A little Barney. And you know what he said? (changing tone of voice) "Ted, you will bring no dates to this wedding. You will hit on drunk bridesmaids with actual-size Barney."",0 11843,"Hello, Marshall.",2 11844,What? Why?,3 11845,"No, I mean, that's how you're gonna do it? "Do you still wanna?" That's like the lamest proposal ever. When I did it, I got down on my knees... I don't know, I'm just saying.",3 11846,I had put aside for Ted Shelly for 3 years.,2 11847,"Oh, oh, and ready? It's a theme bar. It's a courtroom.",3 11848,How can he not see it? I mean there's the...,2 11849,Get this. You know who works out at my gym? Regis Philbin.,0 11850,I have already called to add a person.,0 11851,"The truth is, I feel kind of weird being out with you.",4 11852,"But that city he sings? This is not "Secaucus, Secaucus."",1 11853,We've cross-referenced every alcohol with Marshall and Barney's reaction. What's the right drink for this situation?,2 11854,"Excuse me, someone is using this stool?",0 11855,"Yeah, that'll solve everything. I have not slept for 34 hours, but a bagel is the answer. Cinnamon and raisin bagel with some cream. It looks good. I'll buy one.",1 11856,You should live with him.,1 11857,Names that bitch.,2 11858,What?,4 11859,"Ted, fancy bumping into you here. Have you guys met my girlfriend Abby?",0 11860,"No. My costume gave his life for this cause, and I do not should rest before these two... Well, it... Finally,... Be it mine.",0 11861,I thought they came to live with you.,2 11862,The ones you do not b*at. They will not go to trial.Lawyer.,3 11863,Excuse me?,4 11864,"Marshall, I've thought it over and I accept your challenge.",0 11865,"Well, I'm gonna be late. You guys have fun. Bye.",4 11866,The hell I can't. I'm enjoying this.,1 11867,"So what, is that a no?",1 11868,"No, Barney. I'm never gonna talk to my dad again. But your dad is alive and he lives just down the road.",3 11869,"Okay, uh, I think I see what the problem is. Barney, can you grab me a screwdriver?",1 11870,I did it!,3 11871,"Uh, hi, who is this?",1 11872,Let's go. A more.,2 11873,"Why, why have you never told me that?",1 11874,We most certainly did!,3 11875,"Or we looked everywhere, and we couldn't find one.",1 11876,"(Laughs) Did you hear that, Ted? Dana works security at the Liberty Bell.",0 11877,"Barney. I don't think you're mad at me. You're mad at yourself. You let down your guard, and let someone into your life, and... And it actually felt okay. And that terrifies you.",2 11878,A reference card I made. A guide to places where you can meet Stella Zinman. The red areas: to avoid. White: OK.Blue: the sea,1 11879,You know who's a million times hotter than the hottest girl I've ever slept with? Her okay-looking friend I haven't seen naked. Why? Because new is always better.,0 11880,What?!,4 11881,"You know what else is a good story, how Barney and I met. Barney, tell that story, right now. Please.",1 11882,Sure.,3 11883,"Well, I should get back to the station. See you guys. (Marshall raises a hand while still kissing Lily) Nice seeing you, Ted.",4 11884,I knew you were lying. Get up early for the feint-T Mose.,1 11885,Because it hurts!,0 11886,I love you.,3 11887,Why is this kid around anyway? Shouldn't he be with his mom? What kind of lawyer does this guy have if he has to take care of the kid all the time?,4 11888,Burrito. Carnitas Burrito.,3 11889,I told them I had a vision for this thing. They want a drawing in a week and I have nothing!,1 11890,"Also, Marshall, you can't just be unemployed, so you are now a gin-swilling, womanizing playwright. And, Ted, just be yourself. (chuckles) Just kidding. Here's a giant pile of topics you should avoid talking about.",0 11891,There's the second scenario.,4 11892,What? I will be deported. I would try anything.,4 11893,You went to San Francisco for three months.,3 11894,I think. Shit. Following happens. After which you and I can not become friends again.,0 11895,"Oh, she's been waiting tables at Big Wave Luau.",4 11896,I really am.,2 11897,"Henrietta, I'm sorry if it's brutal but I think you duty. I do not wanna be with you.",1 11898,"So, Scooby, we were thinking if you're going to be hanging out with our Robin, you should be properly vetted.",3 11899,"Ops, wrong room. Where do the grown-ups go for the real karate class?",2 11900,He has no chance.,3 11901,"Well, who uses ink? Sorry. OK, I'm a bit set in my ways. That doesn't mean that this won't work.",4 11902,She's in the bathroom.,0 11903,"Yeah, you're right. Besides, Marshall and I have been planning on having a guy's night out before the wedding. Why don't we just make it tomorrow night?",1 11904,Yeah...,3 11905,What changed everything?,3 11906,Ooh.,1 11907,Are you suggesting that guys don't talk about sex?,2 11908,The "Burt Reynolds".,0 11909,Lily calling off the wedding and dumping me?,3 11910,Slapsgiving.,0 11911,"Robin Scherbatsky's Surprising Erogenous Zones." Right knee-- ticklish. Left knee...,1 11912,"You are such a cutie pie. Here's a quarter, go play something on the jukebox.",0 11913,You peed on a church?,1 11914,Wish me luck.,0 11915,"Catch it, guys!",1 11916,"I don't know, homegirl is pretty diabolical. If there is a plan that'll get us out of this, it's somewhere inside this butter churn. She'll think of it. I'm just gonna sit here... and watch it happen. (Lily starts to jiggle) And she's got it! Lily, what's the plan?",3 11917,I haven't seen him in years. It's just a part of my life I wanna forget. Just please don't tell anyone about this.,4 11918,I'm canadian. You know that.,4 11919,He screamed at me.,3 11920,"Mm. Thanks. Wait, you didn't tell them I had food poisoning, did you?",2 11921,Yes!,3 11922,"Well... it's a bit early... but... of course, I might consider... I moved here, let me think.",4 11923,"I pass this building, so I see you in three days.",1 11924,"It's called "Marsh-gammon." It combines all the best features of all the best games... Candy Land, I Never, Pictionary.",3 11925,"But the news that I might not be able to give him a grandchild? You know, like, I don't even know how to have that conversation.",3 11926,over there... YOU... you're the pretty young thing...is what i meant. Champagne? Would you? on me.,0 11927,"These clothes are ridiculous. In addition, the armor of the amazon princess itch.",4 11928,It's called "revertigo.",3 11929,"Okay, I'll tell you. Okay. One time Barney saw me drop a calzone on the sidewalk, pick it up, and then keep eating it. It feels so good to finally say that out loud. I...",3 11930,"It, it was a mouse.",3 11931,I want you.,2 11932,I didn't say a thing.,4 11933,"Please don't do that. Hey, is this milk any good?",1 11934,Why not?,0 11935,I'm saying that the coffee industry is causing irreversible...,3 11936,"wait, it's only the break of ten-thirty. What happened?",2 11937,And then we all ate chocolate cake in my bed.,4 11938,You stop! It all stops.,1 11939,I just do. It must be tough.,1 11940,"Pfft, who needs 'em?",4 11941,Wait. Where are you going?,2 11942,"Speaking of pickups, can we try the first one again?",0 11943,"No, we're not.",1 11944,"What's that? Interesting theory, Barney, but I'll need some proof? Okay. Korean Elvis. How would you like to have a drink with me and my friends?",0 11945,These are your awesome years. You're wasting them on this girl. This isn't gonna work!,0 11946,Yes. Have you noticed I haven't asked about it because I'm too scared of the answer?,1 11947,"These are my friends. Ted, Marshall, Lily and Robin.Guys, here is Loretta. My mother.",0 11948,"Oh, I bet it was an "Incredible Journey""",2 11949,Interesting. Show your work.,3 11950,What?,1 11951,"Look, you... Wait, wait... Robin, hold on. If you want to talk, I'm right here.",0 11952,And she's been throwing up ever since.,4 11953,Yeah.,1 11954,"I know. It looks pumped. An old cop associated with a young and rebellious. It reminds you of anything? Mackleroy and LaFleur. Do not tell me you have never seen Mackleroy and LaFleur. This is the best action movie of all time Canadian. Mackleroy is a young Mountie whose horse is k*ll by evil Americans, and LaFleur, his old partner grumpy and Afro-Canadian, just buy a nice fishing shack in northern Alberta...",4 11955,"Hey! Hey, wanna get married?",3 11956,I want to tell you.,4 11957,We will not smoke.,2 11958,"Super. Sit down, put yourself at ease. Relaxed, everything is relaxed. Listen, you want me to find the perfect girl for you so all together, it's her. Do not let a guy to approach her. No server to take our order, clean the table, and if it ignites, I want a female firefighter to extinguish.",1 11959,Yes.,1 11960,We expect someone else?,2 11961,"Whoa! Baby, you're packing snowballs, and your breath smells like a mermaid fart.",2 11962,A metaphorical leap. A metaphorical leap!,2 11963,"Ah, I do.",2 11964,Thank you for your time.,0 11965,Let's see it. Already heated to perfection? The smashed out? Ok I will deal for Big Mac.,1 11966,"Sounds awful, it's a date.",1 11967,So I can go to the second two with no problem?,1 11968,"Don't you think we're a little bit past sushi at this point? God, you are so terrified of anything real. It's like you're floating out in space. Touch the ground, Robin. Live in the world, make a mistake. Make this mistake.",1 11969,"No, here's the awful part.",4 11970,"Dude, it's going to be weird.",3 11971,Have you noticed that all day today Chinese guys have been coming up and saying hi to me?,0 11972,"No, I mean I'm seriously going to k*ll him.",1 11973,"I'm sorry, what?",3 11974,Marshall stormed out.,2 11975,But I love you.,0 11976,"Ok, I gotta go!",1 11977,"No thanks, dude. (Barney grabs Marshall's pants and tears them apart) Noon?",3 11978,"thank you God, the song is over. Who was the old devil who sang?",0 11979,He is not trying to seduce me. He didn't even offer me the job.,3 11980,This is a modified version of one I did when I left the swim team because of an ear problem.,1 11981,are you gonna do? You will find not a partner in the next 2 hours.,1 11982,"How are you guys not seeing this? He's 150; Robin's 27. Barney, come on,what do you got?",1 11983,"Well, we can't.",3 11984,"A glass of the J-Jumbo Jim's Grape Scotch sounds lovely. Lots of ice. New is always better, Ted! That's a rule. Just like bigger is always better!",0 11985,Ted.,3 11986,Hey.,1 11987,If great.,0 11988,What?,3 11989,"But tonight, I'm going to make you the greatest wingman in the history of wingmen.",0 11990,Right here.,2 11991,"That is exactly how it happened. So Ted did his best to impress her, but as per yoozh, he bored the pants very much on her.",0 11992,"Hello, everyone.",4 11993,Maybe this isn't the intersection.,0 11994,Is he laughing?,1 11995,Hello.,3 11996,"It puts an end to all this conversation about the bitches.Back to the birthday song! Barney, your part is this: "She's cute She's cute."",3 11997,"Hey, Don! It's Robin again. Look, I am sorry for all the calls. It's just, I saw you on the news, and it made me a little crazy for a minute. I guess I wasn't as over our breakup as I thought. But I want to say, from the bottom of my heart, I am going to k*ll you. No... No, I'm not. I am happy for you. And that Asian slut on your Facebook page. She's dead, too.",4 11998,Do not sh**t. There was no banana!,3 11999,Great news.,2 12000,"Oh, I had no idea laser tag still existed!",4 12001,"Be well, my friends! Aw, just how we left them.",2 12002,"I wanted to go to a concert. Him at a party. We could obviously do what the other wanted, so we stayed to watch a movie on cable.",4 12003,You do?,3 12004,"Well, by some million to one sh*t, and I'm not rooting for this, you wind up not getting married this weekend, give me a call.",1 12005,Tell us the "tail",3 12006,"Oh, Robin-(laughs)-Hi.",1 12007,"Marshall, it's time for us to grow up.",2 12008,You would surely be in Tokyo or Paris.,2 12009,Marshall.,1 12010,"Ted, you klutzy, great guy, you! (Barney shoves Ted into two lady's cart and Ted trips backwards. To Women) Hey, Barney. (Adjusts tie)",0 12011,I just want to shut my eyes for a few seconds before it starts. (He lyes down onto the bed and falls asleep),3 12012,There she is. (Between Tiffany followed by several other women) It has led to colleagues.,1 12013,"You took longer to get here than I thought, we bonded, I'm keeping her. The point is, you now have a chance to design your own building. Dude, you can do whatever you want with it.",0 12014,"How can they call it a "daily"? 4h, it's still the middle of the night. You impressed me.",2 12015,"Damn you,brunch! This guy's crazy, right?",3 12016,He watches football and I'm...,4 12017,"No, not at all.",0 12018,Marshall ran away from a cockroach.,0 12019,"Ted, this is funny. Still funny. Still fu... And now it's sad.",0 12020,"Hey, where's the goldfish?",2 12021,"Uh, I don't think so. I earned it fair and square. I'm calling you.",0 12022,"Mellow order, bro, mellow order.",0 12023,"Okay, my head's about to explode, and I don't want to get it all over everyone's waffles, so I am leaving. (He leaves, following by his parents and Robin)",1 12024,What?,4 12025,Sure. Stand a little more this way. I'm scouting some talent. Pretend we're talking about something important.,0 12026,But...that's part of my charm.,1 12027,Totally.,3 12028,"Hey, you do better than me at a lot of other things, like digesting dairy... and reaching for stuff.",2 12029,Better.,3 12030,Okay.,0 12031,"For what it's worth, I think we are ready. We love, we are financially stable, and frankly, it would change that much the way we live.",3 12032,I found at Marshall's arguments Lily were zero then it will never have to wash another dish. Slap me in two.,0 12033,You know it.,0 12034,Wow. That got real o'clock.,4 12035,Are you kidding me?,3 12036,"Look, Ted, the future is scary. But you can't just run back to the past because it's familiar. Yes, it's tempting.",4 12037,"You lying little minx. I happened to be at Cafe L'Amour tonight from 5:00 p.m. until closing, reading a newspaper with two holes cut out of it, and I never saw Nora or this Italian race car driver she's dating.",0 12038,Are you guys OK? Marshall (yelling over to bartender): Another round and back it up for me and Lily.,4 12039,It still is. And you're ready.,2 12040,Why?,0 12041,"I warned you. When ex relapse, ultimately, it hurts someone. But nobody is listening. This is the story of my life.My nice face that prevents people listen to my message.",2 12042,"Ooh, the oven's pre-heated!",1 12043,"It was not my first day. I arrived and there were 20 people. In fact, I have not really got the job. I just had an interview.",4 12044,I cannot wait to see what's on this DVD!,0 12045,You really put a knot!,0 12046,Go!,2 12047,"Okay, seriously, how are you doing that?",1 12048,I've had some recent bad press on the World Wide Web. So I'm taking a T.O. on the whole "using my real name" thing.,0 12049,"And then there was Derek and counting you, that puts the total up to...",4 12050,Starred in it is more like it.,4 12051,Hi. Shall we?,2 12052,"That's right, I know your secret, Robin. Or should I say Robin Sparkles? Robin: How do you know that name? Barney: 'Cause I know the truth. And I am about to show it to you right now.",0 12053,"They are up to their necks. A single argument will not suffice. We must revive the four largest arguments they've ever had, at one time. Number one, the battle of dirty dishes. Number two, the conflict of ex-girlfriends.",2 12054,"Oh, look at you, Robin. You're jealous.",0 12055,"Yes, we should. Or. Or...",0 12056,"Ted, have you not been listening? Attraction, bargaining, submission, perks, tipping point, purgatory, confrontation, fallout! These things will all happen to you as surely as they happened to all of us! It's a rule of nature.",0 12057,(yelling) I'm canadian!,4 12058,To tell you how I feel.,4 12059,"Well, Lily, I guess it's just you and me. You wanna hang?",0 12060,Brutal.,4 12061,Ay ay ay.,0 12062,"Go ahead, Sarah, you can tell me anything.",1 12063,Bar k*ll.,4 12064,"Oh, how rude of me. Uh, Robin, Sandy... Rivers... this is Mary, my date.",1 12065,You suggest a complicated lie in the long term that implies a lot of discipline. A guy like you will not succeed.,0 12066,"Well, those are my old gambling buddies. Truth is... I used to come here all the time. Play an old Chinese game called "Shing Hasabu Shing". Had a small gambling problem. Actually, it wasn't so small. I kind of lost my entire life's savings. But tonight, I don't know, I'm feeling hot. I think I can win us that money.",0 12067,"Well, since you know me pretty well... am I fooling myself with this whole Barney thing?",4 12068,Lily. What are you doing here?,3 12069,Why do you talk? Why do you talk?,1 12070,In your opinion? What we can say to that?,0 12071,Really?,3 12072,Why would you do that?,1 12073,Wow. It's funny that you say that. Me too.,1 12074,Bright side: the bachelor party continues!,0 12075,"Not some stupid word, "Booger".",0 12076,The Spanish restaurant with the cradle?,1 12077,I bet it's her tushie.,4 12078,"(in childlike voice) Wow, lady. You got some tig ol' bitties! Gosh! Your body's a perfect... this many. (To another girl) Hi. Do you want to wrestle with our special bathing suit places? Come on!",0 12079,I've never seen.,0 12080,What the hell is wrong with you?,3 12081,"Oh, my gosh! Me, too! Um, is it getting crowded in here, 'cause I think there are two peas in this pod?",0 12082,"Okay, until Robin sleeps with my assistant.",1 12083,"You were supposed to be the vaccine, but you gave me the disease. You gotta go.",0 12084,Yeah.,2 12085,"Uh, but in my case, it was just the one, and you found it, so, uh... Just the one.",4 12086,"It's good but um, this was not your first spelling bee, does not it?",4 12087,"If you think people liked your show, it's wrong...",3 12088,Maybe. But they're Armani.,0 12089,This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.,2 12090,"It's been almost a month. I'm used to. And then the show is not bad, right?",4 12091,"During the 1999 NFC Championship, when the Vikings lost...",3 12092,"I have Marshall Eriksen. We had a pretty intense argument. As I've suggested that you take your head and you put yourself in the..., inside you. At a place that could reduce its exposure to the sun.",3 12093,And my dress. And your dress. You put a dress at one point.,2 12094,"Oh, I'd love to. I've got this knot in my neck that's so annoying.",4 12095,That's crazy. She-She wants to bake.,1 12096,"How do you receive mail if someone knows where you are, moron?",2 12097,"Amen, sister.",3 12098,I love crushed nuts.,3 12099,What?,0 12100,So I was on the phone with Chicago.,4 12101,"Yeah, I wasn't listening, either. Ted really can go on about a bitch.",2 12102,"Marshall, what makes you cry?",2 12103,But I thought that you...,2 12104,"I don't know. Um, over the piano?",2 12105,I promise to do anything stupid.,1 12106,Nothing but the TV is 2000 balls.,1 12107,See ya next year. Go get 'em.,1 12108,I need to hear Lily.,3 12109,How Canadian?,4 12110,I will too. We're not getting married for like a year.,2 12111,"Ted, it's a well-known statistic that 83% of people married longer than six months are seeing someone on the side.",0 12112,"That was me then, okay? This is the new old shirt-wearing, sack-having Ted. I'm gonna make this right.",1 12113,Oh.,3 12114,It should have separate beds.,2 12115,I bought a packet on the way home.,4 12116,Beer.,3 12117,Yes.,4 12118,Noted.,1 12119,"He forgot his pants. Good thing you came because today it has an important meeting, and it would be embarrassing and not at all funny if it were to show no pants. I will make sure he has.",0 12120,Baby. It's lunchtime in China.,3 12121,"...he quit, Robin, he quit! It's Meatball Sub Day today, which is why I wanted Marshall to come over and have lunch. But no. All that work wasted. (quiet sobbing) You want to make God laugh, tell him your plans, right?",0 12122,Because brunch is kind of...,1 12123,"Hey, guys. Big announcement.",3 12124,I can't believe she's making you wait a whole month. I would never put up with that.,3 12125,The server arrives.,1 12126,"So do I. And yeah... My family might still be upset with you. But when they see us up there, they're gonna see how much we love each other and none of that other stuff is gonna matter.",3 12127,You throw me like that?,2 12128,"A coffee, please. But only if it is decaf. I want to sleep tonight.",2 12129,Bye.,0 12130,"Okay, Barney, is it possible that with everything that's gone on with your dad lately, you might have some unresolved abandonment issues you're transferring onto Marshall?",4 12131,"Bring, bring.",3 12132,"I hate to refuse, but you told me that the turkey was extremely thin, and see for yourself.",1 12133,I don't do that.,1 12134,"Oh, please. You barely know this girl. What's her favorite color? Is she a cat person or a dog person? Is she open to a three-way? Ted, I do more research than this before buying a cell phone. FYI, yes, I have three-way calling.",3 12135,Got it.,4 12136,I'm... I'm going to... I'm... I'm going to...,3 12137,Just meet with the guy.,3 12138,Aww-(They kiss) Are you sure that's a good idea after last time? You looked really creepy without eyebrows.,2 12139,""This project was so demanding, I can't tell you how many nights I spent bent over a table."",2 12140,"I'm flying out tonight before the big storm, and I want you to come with me.",2 12141,This is worse than the pork chop.,3 12142,You're the new coin flip bimbo?,1 12143,Let me go. You'd do the same if you were in this situation.,1 12144,Barney Stinson.,0 12145,"Well, there you should also apologize. We said some pretty hurtful.",0 12146,Hum. Ted? Could you grab me the fondue pot?,3 12147,"Woe is me. I'm not married yet. My ovaries are shrinking. Ted, if you wanted to be married by now you would be but you're not. And you know why? Because you're irrationally picky. You're easily distracted and you're utterly anhedonic.",3 12148,(Subtitle) AAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!! (Pulls out crown),3 12149,Three minutes!,3 12150,Nope. I hit the snooze button.,1 12151,Let me see!,1 12152,Is there a part of you that wants to try again?,4 12153,I can't believe you did that. That's so gross. Was it amazing?,2 12154,"There was a surprise party that night? (Natalie nods) How come nobody told me? People think I can't keep a secret but I totally can! Sorry, not the issue... Look, Natalie, I was just a stupid kid back then, terrified of commitment.",1 12155,So I'm in good hands. You found me a match?,1 12156,"Yeah, what do you say after three decades of not seeing each other?",4 12157,"Well, let a good program for what is half drunk.",4 12158,"Who do you rather have grading your papers: a savage, man-eating jungle cat, or a purring, satisfied kitty?",0 12159,What?! I did the opposite! I threw some other girl at you.,4 12160,"I know you're nervous, but we must stop procrastinating. You've spent two days to choose the pen official Mosbius Designs.",4 12161,"And then I discovered this area, North beach. Best beach ever! Oh, I've been blabbering on about my summer. How are you guys doing? And hey, how is Marshall?",2 12162,Hi. How are the children?,0 12163,Edwin.,4 12164,"And here's the most amazing part. Because I told her I converted all my money to India dollars, she gave me fifty bucks to take a cab to the airport. That's right, I just got paid for sex.",0 12165,"...but at some point, my stupid male brain will transform you into a foxy fish-babe singin' "Part of Your World" to my pants.",3 12166,"Yeah, it's true.",3 12167,Interesting.,2 12168,"Oh, wait. Just the two of you? Tread lightly, Mosby. Any time a single guy hangs out with a married woman, there are rules that must be followed. Rule number one...",2 12169,"Well, go ahead, feel free to me.",3 12170,Public urination. Who gets arrested for public urination?,1 12171,"Uh, you don't strike me as the athletic type, Jayj. Dad, check it. Triceps. What gym do you go to?",0 12172,I gotta go.,0 12173,Of course it does. My sensors indicate that your shortbread levels are dangerously low.,3 12174,"Zoey's in love with Ted and Ted doesn't know. So Ted and Zoey... they're in love with each other, which would be fine if Zoey wasn't married to Colonel Mustard. I mean, The Captain. Except now, as Honey informs me...",3 12175,"Congrats, buddy.",1 12176,Or New Year's Eve.,1 12177,Yeah.,2 12178,Because I'm afraid of how I could love you.,4 12179,Let's do this.,4 12180,"Oh, honey.",3 12181,"Ooh, classy touch, dude. Too bad!",0 12182,"Nine or ten for most. There has been a 4 once. It was an easy girl.But, Nora, after that, I had to flee so fast. Honesty is good.",0 12183,"All right, okay. I was playing you before. But I was really doing you a public service. It's February 13... a day many are now calling Desperation Day. It's kind of a thing. And you walking around, saying you're a gooey romantic? It comes across a bit desperate.",0 12184,"Well, I ran into Zoey yesterday.",1 12185,No. I like Stella.,1 12186,No arguments here.,0 12187,"To call. Texting, it's different.",1 12188,Why?,1 12189,No.,1 12190,"Ooh... You know what would be stupid? If we made out. That would be so stupid. Hey, I dare you guys to dare us to make out.",2 12191,"Oh? Look at that one. Halloween, there is 2 years old. You had not played because you wanted to disguise yourself as a penguin.",1 12192,"Hey, you were really a virgin before he met Lily.",4 12193,"We're both afraid of commitment but... the fact is, we also can't live without each other.",4 12194,"If you must conclude in one hot date, a date that must be crazy. I do not speak of a restaurant-cine. Or mini golf. I speak of... 17 romantic rendezvous grouped into one incredible night. I mean... a super hot date.",1 12195,It's "I have breasts.",2 12196,"Wait, the card actually says "Ted?"",1 12197,Unbelievable? What's unbelievable?,3 12198,Why didn't you check 'plus...,2 12199,"Under six percent, under six percent, please",3 12200,"we can't buy, we have debt.",2 12201,So you're going back over there?,3 12202,Who likes that?,1 12203,You know what's fun? Is cold weather sports.,3 12204,My God. I am so excited. (Robin passes him a paper) I will read.,2 12205,But here's the crazier part.,2 12206,There's just-- there's so many decisions to be made. What if I make all the wrong ones and my building just sucks?,1 12207,What?,0 12208,You named the rabbit?,1 12209,Agreed.,3 12210,"No crime? In 1994, the cashier of the grocery store was robbed. Besides, I like being friendly, okay? I will change not it.",3 12211,Have you thought about maybe not reading a magazine when you read a magazine?,4 12212,Great! What is it?,2 12213,"What's that, Barney?",4 12214,Damn you Old Navy and your reasonably-priced three-packs!,2 12215,"Ted, I'm gonna teach you how to live.",0 12216,"Oh, I am. I'm, I'm psyched.",3 12217,I found it. Are you ready to... What the hell are you doing?,4 12218,You don't remember?,4 12219,"Everyone. This is a participation trophy, everyone has one.",2 12220,"Okay, I'll see you soon.",1 12221,"My God! My God, really? I saw you look fat...",3 12222,I know not what to answer.,3 12223,"Oh, Ted. Oh, no.",4 12224,Oh no.,3 12225,"Hey, you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night?",1 12226,"No clue. Hey, is that Maury Povich?",2 12227,A small long road.,2 12228,What?! Nothing. Nothing. You're beautiful. I would love the photos. Have I told you how beautiful you look?,3 12229,"Barney? Oh, my God. What happened last night?",4 12230,She's right. Your dad was hilarious.,0 12231,"Great, I have it right upstairs. It's in my apartment upstairs. Let's so upstairs.",1 12232,What do you mean you're divorced? Since when?,1 12233,Treat yourself my friend. Treat yourself. Oh no.,3 12234,"Ted, do not do that, you're a good guy. This is your greatest quality.",2 12235,A cereal k*ll! A cereal k*ll!,1 12236,Thank you.,1 12237,Oh let's see (thinks) she likes dogs?,3 12238,"It's kind of a mess. I didn't make my bed this morning, so...",2 12239,"But on this one, he may have a point. I mean, look... the idea of renegotiating the terms of the relationship, that's valid.",3 12240,"This is a nightmare. I can't believe she kept that tape. The LPC's gonna come back with a decision tomorrow, and based on today...",1 12241,Order in some Chinese.,2 12242,"Uncle Larry, sky gods. Niagara Falls. It is empty.",0 12243,"See, this is way better than Marshall's intership.",0 12244,"So, what are the eye patches for?",1 12245,He is. It is so great and attentive and intelligent.,2 12246,"No, not that. I'm going to unleash my calves.",3 12247,Do not say that. I'm sure you were great.,3 12248,Where are you taking me?,3 12249,"Food going in isn't the problem, it's what's coming out, or not coming out.",3 12250,What up?,0 12251,"No, Ted, they don't realize they weren't lying.

Dear Diary.,4 12268,Claw tape!,0 12269,"My short-barreled 38 Special Police! I knew that I had left it somewhere. Every time I watch the news, I pray it is not my g*n.",4 12270,"That's true, this is my best friend. Girl friend. My best friend girl.",1 12271,Like everything else you bought the medieval festivals.,2 12272,Just a little script. Things that my mother will be pleased to hear.,0 12273,"And yet you can say with absolute confidence that ten weeks from now, if I ask you out on a date, your answer will be...",1 12274,"Okay, I am.",4 12275,I have a permit for that. And the other thing is a gift.,4 12276,"Be nice. You want it just because you can not have it. Like saying "Sit wherever you want, except on that chair." You will be so...",1 12277,(to bartender) They all drink vodka cranberries.,0 12278,"Oh, but it can.",2 12279,I know.,1 12280,Styrofoam trees.,1 12281,Shut up...,4 12282,Really? You really gonna sit and watch the door all night because Tiffany said she would try to pass?,0 12283,I don't know.,3 12284,"Yeah, I got it.",1 12285,"On the other hand, I bought a big bag today.",4 12286,"Yes, we do. Or. Or...",0 12287,Yes.,0 12288,"Yeah, do you need a drink or something?",3 12289,"You're gonna use force? 'Cause that sounds wrong, bro-da.",1 12290,But... hot dogs.,3 12291,"See, this is the problem with guys, you don't know how to deal with heartbreak.",4 12292,"Well, a teacher at my school, Jillian, a birthday. What?",2 12293,Take the damn picture. (squawks),2 12294,"Three: "Never, ever play the 'Guess Who' game with her."",1 12295,I ate like four whole cans of dip!,3 12296,"Well, I mean, single people can have fun here, too, right?",3 12297,"So, Robin, when you're in for the job and apartment?",3 12298,Deuzio: it's far too early suggestions crazy travel.,3 12299,I think the smaller turkey just tried to crawl further inside the bigger turkey.,4 12300,What time is the interview?,3 12301,"Oh, fine, I'll take the dirty pictures.",2 12302,You know what? This was a mistake.,0 12303,"Oh, I thought we were...",1 12304,"I may have mentioned it in passing to a couple of colleagues at work. I'm sorry about that, but you know what? I got to be able to tell my dad.",3 12305,Hey.,3 12306,"Dude, that's not a rain dance, that's a fat kid with a bee in his pants.",0 12307,I was playing it. I was working.,1 12308,What are you doing here?,1 12309,"Of course she was not jealous, it is the dynamics of your relationship.",1 12310,Yes! You're there! This is fantastic!,2 12311,"Oh, God, I'm so sorry. That's just, that's just... (to bartender) two vodka cranberries.",0 12312,Because of that? Come on. That's my thing. I'm always punching guys. Girls... I'll punch a baby. I don't care.

So, kids, I settled in for a Christmas alone.",4 12332,The world is pretty cool right now.,3 12333,You do not have the right to do this to me.,4 12334,We can. We can be buddies. Just not on a boat.,1 12335,That must bother you a bit.,2 12336,What?! you're crazy!,4 12337,That's the plan.,1 12338,You said what?,2 12339,"I ate at the "Staten Island Chili's," and I jumped a hairdresser completely stuffed. Are you happy, Ulysses?",0 12340,It was violent.,1 12341,"You said no, right?",1 12342,It's a beautiful dog. And it is your children?,3 12343,"Oh, because they were buried in a shallow grave.",2 12344,"I am going to make her... a mix CD. No, I'm kidding. I got a plan. Lily, I'm going to need the spare key to Robin's apartment.",1 12345,"So why is it okay for guys to talk about boobs, but the moment we bring up a topic like Max's small penis... I'm gonna pretend this conversation never happened.",2 12346,"Here, try this, but really go for it. Remember, this guy ruined your life.",0 12347,"Some stories you tell, some stories you don't.",1 12348,I do not either. I was hoping that you find.,2 12349,"Hello. Oh my God, tonight? You're kidding. Robin: (to Ted) They want me to anchor the news tonight.",4 12350,What does that mean? We're supposed to be friends.,4 12351,You call your mother every day?,4 12352,It's not me.,4 12353,"Oh, you laugh.",3 12354,"Tracey, tell Lily what you just said.",0 12355,"Lily, if I wanted a fridge full of groceries or fresh coffee in the morning, I'd be in a relationship. But I don't want to be in a relationship. That's why I make it crystal-clear to every girl that walks through that door that this is not a place to leave a toothbrush. This is not a place to leave a contact lens case. This is a place to leave. Come on, 'll give you a tour. Uh, no flash photography please. Bienvenido to the bedroom. Dig this: King-sized bed, full-sized blanket, one pillow. Everything about this bed says "our work here is done." Next we say bienvenue to the bathroom. What, only one towel? What, no hairdryer? You know where I keep that stuff? Your place. b*at it. And the coup de grâce... Yeah, that's right. Patent-pending. And wilkommen to the hallway. While guys like Ted and Marshall may hide their p*rn...",0 12356,Indian isn't Chinese.,1 12357,"Right. Well, uh... I'm engaged, so--",3 12358,I love to do that.,1 12359,"I was thinking like this collared shirt and these pin... (Ted and Robin laugh) Oh, you know what? Shut up.",3 12360,"What does mean to be ready? I thought I was ready last year and I was left on the altar. I'll be honest. I'm scared! Ok, Luis and Betty!",1 12361,"Okay, you and me, that's insane. If you even thought about it for one second...",4 12362,"Oh, you're wearing a flower.",3 12363,"And as you do it, you say this, "Elbert Ickey Woods. The bangles were fools to cut you in '91. Your 1521 rushing yards and your 27 touch downs will not be forgotten. So Coach Dave Shullah, screw you and your crappy steakhouse."",0 12364,"Get on the phone, call Robin and fix this.",3 12365,"Yeah, but it's one thing to say it, it's another thing to show it. Show it.",0 12366,Hotel?,1 12367,Sorry. Who said anything about an...?,4 12368,You really soiled the name of Jen Coulin.,3 12369,"Yes, and you know why? Because I love you. And I'll show you how. Ted Mosby and Robin Scherbatsky, I bring you... the fourth slap.",3 12370,And that's the only time my father ever said he was proud of me.,4 12371,Lies!,2 12372,"Oh, change of plans. I thought violent images wouldn't be good for my future fetus, so instead, I rented this video of a live water birth.",2 12373,"So are we ever gonna see you again? Because, if I recall correctly, you owe me a date with your hot cousin.",1 12374,I'm not ready.,1 12375,And it was a huge mistake.,4 12376,"Are you asking me if I'm married? Ted: You can ask me. Nope, I'm not married. Your turn.",4 12377,Okay.,2 12378,(On Phone. Sighs) Fine. (Beep) Hold on I have another call. (Presses button) Hello.,3 12379,And you do that thing that all fathers are with the waitresses.,4 12380,Room for Transitional Employees.,0 12381,Of course I did. I tell my dad everything. My dad is my best friend.,3 12382,"Eriksen residence, Marshall speaking.",3 12383,It's that "one" small dicks?,3 12384,I'm the luckiest girl alive (runs into bedroom. Marshall strips.)

The Ho-be-gone Sleep System,0 12476,No.,4 12477,I'm gonna make it rain. I can't let Robin go camping with this guy. So how do I keep that from happening? Simple... I make it rain!,1 12478,Welcome to our fraternity of non-paternity. In is one of ours.,0 12479,"And then I just tell you guys what Robin has done, but you were there for. I must tell you the rest of the wedding. Aunt Meredith!",0 12480,Question?,0 12481,"Yeah, that's what your mom said.",1 12482,"It is too noisy, all the time. Yes, it is the city that never sleeps. Well, I would sleep well. I'm tired for 8 years. Tired and scared, with black and blue marks on my elbows to try to keep between the gateway for elves. New Jersey's great. There are department stores, and lawn and you do not have to wear a cup. For the rest of your life. I'm not afraid to say so. I love New Jersey. Just kidding.",3 12483,"You know, yesterday I went to bed at 20h because it was on the list and I could not sleep... because it was 20h. So I watched Lethal w*apon.",1 12484,"It's you, sustained growth.",0 12485,"How can... With your dad? I mean, I know judge not lest ye be judged, but gross!",0 12486,(hanging up his cellular) Sorry about that.,1 12487,Are you kidding?,2 12488,"Lily, will you help us get the next round?",1 12489,"But I need the freedom to really chase my passion, which was painting but now, I think it's music, or spoken words. Maybe both. God, isn't life amazing.",2 12490,I-I guess. That... seems like a whole other thing. We need a drink that will start a fight.,2 12491,"My God, it was a real idiot.",2 12492,What?,1 12493,"She doesn't need a place card, she knows her name.",1 12494,I just have...,3 12495,"Assumption. He is not pretending to be happy. Ted is really happy. He did not want to marry from the start. Ted had the best train dodge since Stand by Me Well, not the first kid, but others.",0 12496,From this! That's what I mean. How does it feel in my champagne?,4 12497,"I'm goanna knock back this beer. I'm gonna knock back one more beer. I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna write a twenty-five page paper. I'm gonna hand it in and I'm gonna get a A. My name is Rufus, and that's the Trufus.",3 12498,Should have just let you get a dog.,1 12499,Hmm?,4 12500,"You do not understand, this girl is like a magnet to men... k*ll.",1 12501,"It's going against the internet now! It's okay, grow up.",1 12502,"Okay, even if that happens, is there any way to un-mermaid me?",4 12503,"Just listen. When you left me for that guy Greg, it changed me. Now I'm this. I-I know this is crazy. It's just, you were once such a big part of my life. And it just seemed insane that you didn't know who I am now. So here I am. And then she told me about her life.",0 12504,And it's so conveniant. They're right across the hall. Say it's sunday and we want to have a brunch double date with someone.,2 12505,"Uh, no, her name was Victoria, I don't know her last name.",1 12506,Really?,4 12507,Okay. That's what happened.,3 12508,Marshall. She was not a ghost.,1 12509,I love you.,3 12510,Get out of my way.,1 12511,"You okay, Barney?",2 12512,"The camera loves me. Much more than that. The device I want. The unit wants to put on underwear, put an Al Green CD, dim the lights and do all the work while I was still lying with closed eyes.",0 12513,"I mean, if you're not afraid you do not try your luck... and if you do not try your luck then... What are you doing? Not?",1 12514,I got it.,4 12515,Deal.,3 12516,"This is Ted. Everyone! Ted, are you?",2 12517,"They have to come out soon, it's Monday.",3 12518,What?,0 12519,Okay. Decides that the piece.,4 12520,"Uh, well, maybe the problem is your attitude. You're not listening to a word I say.",1 12521,There is an explanation very simp...,1 12522,"Right, for his daughter's life.",2 12523,"We, we-- you and I-- are going to open it up and look for evidence. Ted probably has a sledgehammer around here somewhere.",4 12524,"Oh, easy for you to say. Everybody loves you at your job.",4 12525,"Sorry, there is a star of earth? (Ted comes into the meeting room with tables) start.",3 12526,"Okay, this is clearly a sign. Let's just call it a tie. Forget about the race. Head back to the bar.",1 12527,Genre?,4 12528,Is that Tiffany? Mm-hmm. You are so rad. It's everything I want it to be and more.,0 12529,"Just a burger? It's so much more than just a burger. I mean, that first bite... Oh, what heaven that first bite is. The bun, like a sesame-freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below. Flavors mingling in a seductive "pas de deux". And then... a pickle the most... playful... little pickle, and then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce, and a... a patty... of ground beef, so... exquisite...swirling in your mouth, breaking apart and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savories so... delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread. This is God... speaking to us through food.",3 12530,Not... good enough.,2 12531,This is the best Thanksgiving...,0 12532,"Oh, okay, um... You guys, you're a little too close to the camera. Can you back up a bit?",3 12533,"And you should move into the new apartment, and Robin should go to Japan.",1 12534,"It was just too much pressure too soon. I mean, maybe it was silly to even think... Yes, Marshall, I see your new suit, and it's awesome.",1 12535,You say that to make me feel not like an old married.,2 12536,Sure baby. Why we would not do that here?,3 12537,You sure you're okay giving up your Friday night to hang with an old almost-married lady?,2 12538,"Amanda? Oh, Denise-Sorry you totally sounded like Amanda (Does weird hand thing with Marshall)",1 12539,"One for It's a Wonderful Life, please. Thank you.",1 12540,"Yeah, and he's going to sit there and he's going to take it like a man.",2 12541,Hello.,1 12542,"Ted? No, he's not seeing anyone. Remember, he asked us to find...",2 12543,Marshall and I are the only ones here with shit on our resume?,1 12544,"Yeah, that felt wrong.",4 12545,We are crazy.,3 12546,So you don't want coffee.,1 12547,Great!,1 12548,"Alright, Tin-Man. Let's hit it.",1 12549,"Barney... With his madness, his theory goes well thought might work.",3 12550,"And now you to take Anita you barely know, this extraordinary hot date, then you do not ever offered me that. It's just that... It sucks, that's all. It sucks.",4 12551,Thanks.,4 12552,"You know, I've had a jar of olives just sitting in my fridge forever.",4 12553,"I think you should leave it, buddy.",3 12554,"Listen, Ted... Usually in life, when you make a huge mistake, you must learn to live with. But how many times you got the chance to take a mass break out and all?",2 12555,A true gentleman invents an excuse to bring home a respectable lady. Something interesting or beautiful that can claim to admire for 5 minutes before it starts on the track.,0 12556,Even alcohol cannot stop this brain.,1 12557,"Hey, um, sir, can we get ride, too?",0 12558,"Yes! Thank you. Uhm, I learned how to cook while you were gone this summer.",3 12559,That's your excuse to unleash pretext for physical contact number one.,0 12560,"Yeah, you know what else is in that locker room? A naked dudes hanging brain. Ted, you need a lady. And I've got the next best thing-- Mary. She lives in my building. She's smart, she's hot, she's totally cool.",0 12561,"I've gotta get one of those blue French horns for over my fireplace. It's gotta be blue, it's gotta be French.",4 12562,"Believe it or not, my friends do not have a say on which I frequent. This is my life. I decide.",1 12563,"You're, you're friendly.",2 12564,"No, we should get some sleep. But this was fun.",1 12565,Really?,3 12566,I love it. It's a masterpiece. That's it. We're selling the TV. I just want to come home and stare at this all day. Aw. Somebody call the cops! My wife stole an awesome painting from the museum!,3 12567,What about that chick...um...Jackie?,3 12568,Yes! But I guess you're right. You haven't learned anything. Sorry to have wasted your time.,1 12569,Hmm? Yeah?,2 12570,"Yeah, yeah.",0 12571,What did you have for lunch today? Oh. Rye bread. Yeah.,1 12572,"Three times. But they're really nice about it. Their policy is, "Get sick, get a free gallon of soup".",2 12573,Oh my God! How long have you been doing this?,3 12574,"I'll finish for you. Ted left without saying anything, and Karen got exactly what she wanted.",2 12575,"So, just to be clear, you wanted everybody to go to the mall today?",2 12576,She may be 98 years old but she's still...,2 12577,"Dude, Carl is going to k*ll us if we turn not everyone immediately. I'm serious. He promised not to mess. Okay, you score a point. The bar is open! Who wants a beer?",1 12578,"Before refusing, you should know that in this neoprene combined with what appears to be a pair of socks...",2 12579,Thank you Lily. It was fantastic.,1 12580,Stinson.,0 12581,That's crazy. Nobody's turned on by men's calves. They're a thoroughly unerotic body part.,0 12582,The costume is Robin. I know! Okay?,0 12583,"So what does the diver? Claire and here, in passing.",2 12584,No.,1 12585,Robin wants to keep this a secret so it's gonna stay a secret.,1 12586,Do you have these in a size 11?,1 12587,"Marshall, it's cool. She doesn't see it. What the hell's going on with his eye? Am I supposed to not talk about that? Great, now my right eye is doing it.",4 12588,"Sir, the fact is that...",3 12589,Fine. I'll shut 'em down.,1 12590,"Oh, come on. Zoey's not shutting anything down, standing out there with her stupid megaphone, screaming in the wind; butt cheeks trembling with fury; her perky breasts heaving; her self-righteous nipples...",0 12591,The Mosby boys? You mean you and your sister.,4 12592,Because they love.,1 12593,Yeah.,2 12594,"I understand, OK? I see what you mean. I guess... we could live in Brooklyn.",1 12595,We're getting closer?,2 12596,"Do you remember this strange girl who wanted you to marry him after two months? You loved him in trouble, but you thought there anyway, so...",2 12597,"Oh, I don't want to brag, But it seems chicks are really digging the whole professor thing. Last night, she picked me up at the bar. And then... Well, she actually wound up falling asleep on the couch. But, hey, that happens.",1 12598,Ted and Robin broke up there for years. This is not a problem.,2 12599,No!,3 12600,Let's say yes.,0 12601,Just hanging out? Not good enough.,2 12602,Are you kidding? And this daughter of the university library? Henrietta?,4 12603,... is an incredible kind. He's funny and it's one of my best friends. And he came out with this g*n.,2 12604,You have to make things clear.,2 12605,"Right. So, um... Chinese?",0 12606,Fine. I'll go next.,4 12607,"Yeah, sorry.",3 12608,We hate Ted now. Get on board or the sexting stops.,2 12609,You hate Karen. You told me to break it. It's you. Did you put the loop in my bed for Karen to find.,1 12610,I'm serious.,4 12611,Yeah. Here's the model.,1 12612,What is the Murtaugh list?,4 12613,Mini pizzas? French fries? Something that makes me think I'm a giant?,3 12614,"But, I'm an architect. And you said I'm cute. I'm a cute architect.",1 12615,"I love to listen to you, Mom.",1 12616,I do not think she was going to make. So I decided to fulfill his wish. Mom. This is Betty. We're engaged.,0 12617,"Yeah, she told me already. Go on.",0 12618,"Just write it down for me. What do I care, it's not like anyone's watching anyway, right? (Sits down)",4 12619,"And it's Sunday, they are all already in the church.They are all there, "No, Jesus died." Then, bam! He burst through the door, crossed the aisle, everyone is excited. And by the way, that's where he invented the "tope there! "3 days.We wait three days to call a woman because it is the time that Jesus wants us to wait. True story.",0 12620,"I know mine. When I was in Cleveland last month, I went to visit my dad at his... post-divorce bachelor pad.",1 12621,It's good. You see that guy over there in diving suit?,2 12622,"hey, Wendy, uh, do me a favor and send a glass of champagne to that pretty young girl over there.",0 12623,"That's brilliant. You're brilliant. You know, it's funny, not so long ago, I was coming to Marshall and Lily for advice on how to impress you.",1 12624,"He said "Ted", right?",1 12625,"What's so funny? Claudia: Plan a wedding, you'll see.",1 12626,(holding a tray)Gouda?,3 12627,It's not in the story. I waited a long time to say that.This girl... is the daughter.,0 12628,"The billboard, Barney.",1 12629,"Hi, guys,",4 12630,This is torture. Put me in the chair...,0 12631,What?,2 12632,I'll leave you alone. I'm sure you had your reasons.,2 12633,"Do you want to have diner with me? Uh, us?",2 12634,"It's gonna be positive. Eriksen man are hella fertile. When Uncle Morris was 16, he got his girlfriend pregnant just by holding her hand too tight in the backseat of a car. Now I'm thinking my parents lied to me.",3 12635,Good.,1 12636,"I know, I was in the top bunk. Also sat next to you at football games.",1 12637,"I just had a conversation strange. A woman at the GNB told me that the new tower was abandoned last month. It's crazy, right? What is this look?",1 12638,Huh? I don't know what that is.,3 12639,What's your name?,2 12640,Robin!,2 12641,"That's a great point, Persian nightclub owner.",0 12642,"Showdown. You're not the first to wear it here. But it expresses the power. And that, too. Now, I need you break these 15 bricks with your forehead.",0 12643,Will the yelling.,3 12644,Thanks.,1 12645,I'll do it.,2 12646,A fedora! (he puts it on his head and pulls out a whip) I'm Indiana Jones! I'm Indiana Jones!!,1 12647,I'm almost to the point of taking this book and put it on the net for everyone to see.,2 12648,"Dad, you're not looking!",0 12649,Do not tell! You're going to jinx him!,3 12650,I asked Barney the same thing.,3 12651,"Yes, Mr Cootes. How are you?",3 12652,"Good morning. 'Sup, dudes? Silence! This is Architecture 101. I am Professor Mosby. But you can call me Ted. Professor Mosby. T-Dawg. Do not call me T-Dawg.",1 12653,Where the party that Lily had done for her friend Erika?You do feel for this baby?,1 12654,Alright-so call her up!,3 12655,"I know. God. It's like freshman year all over again. Only this time, my sweet dance moves aren't going to be enough to win them over. Not even Old Reliable.",3 12656,"No, great idea!",3 12657,How?,1 12658,"Yeah, almost.",0 12659,"Hi, Frank.",0 12660,"Mad? I feel the same way. I suck at relationships. I mean, except with Ted. He really got it right. I know it's a cliché, but... he really ruined me for other men.",4 12661,How we doing on time? Taxi!,1 12662,Styrofoam trees!,1 12663,"Ah, great.",0 12664,Uh-oh.,3 12665,We weren't there for very long. It's not like I had time to have a lap dance or anything. I got a lap dance.,3 12666,What?,1 12667,"I'm not dressed, Ted. No. Come up.",4 12668,I know.,1 12669,What can you have to say for yourself?,0 12670,I'll take it.,0 12671,"Come on, it's on me! I'm buying three of you foot massagers and one of you a nose hair trimmer. You know who you are.",0 12672,Eriksen!,3 12673,It's amazing.,3 12674,"Who do you rather have grading your papers: a savage, man-eating jungle cat, or a purring, satisfied kitty?",0 12675,"Technically, I never lied. You asked me questions, and I responded with made-up words.",3 12676,(To Ted) Those bags were your responsibility.,0 12677,"Do not even try, baby. Wait, what?",0 12678,"Okay, one cup. The kid needs to be alert. First day on the job and everything.",3 12679,"Ah! Sweet damn, that's a hot plate.",2 12680,Negative.,2 12681,It's really bad. After the way the last few months have passed... I guess I'd need more than I thought.,1 12682,I just want to forget what happened and continue to live my life. It's great. But I think I'll add a tear.,0 12683,Wait. You're going on a date with Simon? That Simon?The one we met?,1 12684,Zoey and The Captain are getting divorced. Which means...?,3 12685,"Yeah, I had it made. Sit.",0 12686,I called Joel.,4 12687,"Not that I'm worried or anything, but, um, back to the sun rising over Ted and, uh... Oh, what tasteful way did you describe her?",4 12688,"The thing is, we gave you so many opportunities.",3 12689,"So, on New Year's kiss, calls for lunch, all... "I ate it today," you're really going to drop it?",1 12690,I'm not making this up. She must have climbed out the fire escape.,1 12691,"Royce, if you...",1 12692,Yeah.,4 12693,oh persephone! oh daphne! these'll be perfect additions to our upcoming mother-daughter exhibit at the Met.,2 12694,"I dunno, I want to know. These people are crazy.",4 12695,Check out Robin's date.,3 12696,So? Robin and I are like that. That doesn't mean anything.,1 12697,"You k*ll me off?! I mean, fantasize about other girls all you want, but could you maybe not m*rder me?!",2 12698,Well done! I have too much sleep last night. Can you imagine that I almost buy a g*n? I'm glad you as*ault by a monkey.,2 12699,"We'll talk later, OK?",1 12700,So that's it? We're breaking up?,3 12701,I am her therapist.,3 12702,"Oh, that's cool.",0 12703,"Marshall, I am proud of my work as an artist. My paintings are good. I bet Robin would buy one. What now?",2 12704,"Hi, Marsh.",1 12705,We'd love a cornmeal body scrub!,2 12706,"Okay, now I feel bad about making fun of him for the tool thing. My dad was the one who taught me all that stuff.",1 12707,"I thought I was your best friend. Ted, say I'm your best friend.",0 12708,Fine.,3 12709,Can we have class outside?,0 12710,"I thought that I would not say that this coir, but... Robin and Barney, the happy couple.",1 12711,"It's me, I'm at the bar. Don't look, just call me mom.",2 12712,"Once I have his attention, it's time to get out the heavy a*tillery.",0 12713,"My body has been letting me down, and I just wanted to prove that it could still do something, but it can't.",3 12714,"Oh, God, I have been craving this burger all day.",4 12715,Stan. What?,0 12716,"All right, that's it - I want The b*at Anthology.",2 12717,"Um, or you could be in the 47th Semi-Annual Laser Tag Tournament in Poughkeepsie.",0 12718,What? She was super excited there is one hour.,1 12719,And what's that word?,1 12720,"Guys, get it through your heads. I am never gonna talk to my dad again.",0 12721,"Rita, you are anxious... to move to Florida?",3 12722,I didn't know they were playing today.,1 12723,(YELLS),2 12724,Hello.,1 12725,"Barney, you wanna go and get my stuff does not Marshall?",2 12726,Hey.,0 12727,"Well, here I am.",4 12728,"Okay. I'll tell you my story. Believe it or not, I was not always as awesome as I am today.",0 12729,"I love you, man.",1 12730,That is so funny. You are so funny.,4 12731,Go on.,3 12732,"Ted, I am happy for you. Sorry, not for you, not to be you.",0 12733,All you have to do is say "I care about making dreams come true.",0 12734,Is that all? It's the story?,4 12735,That's all. It was just a kiss in a restaurant.,1 12736,I'm done.,1 12737,Careful! Michael Jackson sent me this glove for my tenth...,0 12738,"I will say nothing. I bet you will spend a good evening. And not, however, a great night. A great night will be spent by Barney during his date with Anita. A carriage ride, dinner at "Tombeur panties." They call it a super hot date.",1 12739,Stella! Glad to see you again!,1 12740,Shekwakie.,3 12741,"Sh! Let it out, let it out.",0 12742,"Yeah, they've done a few tours, they put out a new album.",2 12743,"Uh, it's in a neighborhood called... Dowisetrepla?",3 12744,How was this date?,3 12745,"See, Lily? She was worried.",0 12746,Dude!,1 12747,"I do not procrastinate. I just want everything to be perfect, right? I have only one test.",1 12748,Okay. (He dunks your man sack in a big old bowl of ice) Mm-hmm.,3 12749,Really?,1 12750,"Nice monkey suit, Russell.",3 12751,"All right, Ted. Imagine the heads of two Irish babies. Let's call them...(bbllluuuuu) and (bllluuu)",0 12752,Smell me.,0 12753,"It is really great! So for that you will marry, one that will join the Team Géniale, the bar is very high. I say that I did well, but...",2 12754,"Now, can we please get out of here?",2 12755,"(Smiling) Uh, no she is. (Points to Lily)",4 12756,Have you met Ted?,4 12757,"Because, Robin, they are like fuzzy tube-shaped rats.",3 12758,"Okay, back to the G-8 conference. Hello? Mike, can I get in the sh*t? Fantastic.",4 12759,"A crisp, Barney?",4 12760,"No, totally. It sounds like a really, really fun, exciting, third date.",1 12761,"Well, I think you guys look great.",1 12762,"Uh-uh. against car rules, it's against car rules!",1 12763,"Yeah, Simon?",4 12764,"Wait, I thought you said that a cougar could not be more than 50 years.",4 12765,Happy Birthday! Here is Amanda.,1 12766,Bring me a razor.,4 12767,"Right? I mean, just look at her. Yeah. She's clearly a...",2 12768,"That's not a bad idea. Let's think, Ted's greatest hits... what about that girl, Steph?",2 12769,I won!,4 12770,"Well, did she cry her eyes out?",2 12771,And it took us exactly 18 minutes. We went to a strip club.,3 12772,Is Chicago.,4 12773,"Wow, I forgot how tall you guys are.",2 12774,Yeah.,1 12775,"No, no. Okay. You won, I hate it. I hate it. My back is k*ll me. At the rave, I was mistaken for a cop. I have an earache so I can hear... I hear my own ear. Think about it. My clothes... What... Take that! I have redeemed you your best costume for twice its price. This is... $ 30. And throw the shoes. You won, Ted. I will not make anything of the Murtaugh list. I'm too old for this stuff.",0 12776,What? There's only one reason he's taking her to this dinner and it's not so little Mutu can get his malaria pills.,0 12777,"Ted, Ted, what are you doing? It is the marriage of your mother!",3 12778,"Okay, Jerry's gone; Let's break up.",4 12779,"I love you. There, i said it and i'm not taking it back.",0 12780,A mess. And one must be there for him.,2 12781,Not today I wasn't.,0 12782,"I was just hoping for later, like in 20 years when I'm a cougar and he's as hot as his dad.",4 12783,"Oh, good for her.",1 12784,"Yeah, I know, I just told her.",2 12785,Oh my God. This totally explains the thing at my doctor's the other day.,1 12786,"Yeah, so sorry. But seriously, what was up with the tape? No, no, stay.",2 12787,"It's a long story. You see, he just break...",2 12788,"Your father was hard on you. It's ugly, but you do not have to be like him. You can learn from mistakes.",2 12789,It's me! This is Barney. With the help! I have big problems!,0 12790,Okay.,0 12791,Sure.,4 12792,"...she knows what you look like, so just hang out at the jukebox, and don't draw any attention to yourself. And the guys will be in the booth, just pretending to have a normal conversation.",4 12793,Bowl. Bowl.,1 12794,Why it's almost that guys?,4 12795,"Lily, this girl hates me. I hooked up with her in an apartment I was pretending was my own, told her I loved her, and then ditched her there. She got arrested for trespassing, bit a cop, and spent eight days in jail. Oh, crap, there she is! If she sees me, she's gonna k*ll me!",0 12796,Congratulations!,1 12797,"I know you think that's a compliment, but I'd rather you took your time.",2 12798,"That's what I thought about your bangers and mash down there but I guess we're both wrong, governor.",0 12799,How'd you know that was a goat turd?,1 12800,Grademyteacher.net?,1 12801,How long have you been sitting there!? Stupid eye patch.,2 12802,"Oh, Ted, you're such a doof. I mean, this girl sounds amazing.",2 12803,"It's nice to meet you, too.",1 12804,"Come on, Lily. Do not your Ted.",4 12805,"Marshall, our future isn't money or an apartment. And it's definitely not you being miserable at that horrible job. I'm just happy to have my husband back. We'll figure the rest out.",2 12806,Oh!,2 12807,We have to go back to Zoey's.,1 12808,Face.,4 12809,Unmitigated disaster.,4 12810,Really?,1 12811,"I don't buy it. That's crazy, even for Barney.",1 12812,Hi.,4 12813,Aw. Sweet. Thank you.,2 12814,"Lily, I guess that leaves just you and me. Want to hang?",0 12815,Bad maps. Creaky houses. Hillbilly in a gorilla suit.,4 12816,"Oh, dear. You're still drunk. I can not believe that I made the bet.",2 12817,Get out of my house!,3 12818,What the hell is "the sexless innkeeper"?,1 12819,"No. You know, Mary, I've never done this before.",1 12820,A Turturkeykey?,2 12821,"Yeah, well... there we go.",3 12822,Whoa-whoa-Hey hey. I got that roof reserved!,1 12823,Does Marshall know?,1 12824,"I've never been good at that. And now, ever since his dad died, I-I feel like it's my job to just be fine with everything. But I'm not. I'm not fine that he volunteers our apartment for a giant fund-raiser and that he's not thinking about how we're gonna pay any of our bills and that, apparently, we've given up on trying to have kids.",2 12825,"It's a bit harder than I thought. Registration fees, transaction charges penalty, I... keeps a lot of money.",3 12826,"hey, can i get a gin and tonic?",0 12827,"I do not know, maybe history: Jenkins pissed out the window of a taxi.",1 12828,"I was relaxed, two seconds ago.",3 12829,"I'll have a Johnny Walker Blue, neat, and a Montecristo No. 2 Thanks.",4 12830,"Okay, if we're at the "le," then I say we follow it up with a "t's go home."",2 12831,"Sure, it goes without saying.",3 12832,Worst superheroes ever.,0 12833,Marshall brownies.,1 12834,You should buy a place!,3 12835,"Let's go in and see what they remember. And they are my best friends, so don't be surprised if they suddenly "can't think" of anything I do wrong.",1 12836,"Canadiansexact.org, this is a favorite.",0 12837,"Yes, that's the young lady.",4 12838,"I know, but... guys, I'm sorry, I'm going to say it. I have a feeling Victoria's going to be around for a long time.",1 12839,"Look, I am defeated. I hate it.",1 12840,You've put champion dunk in your CV?,1 12841,"He wanted to do weird things with me, so I left. That's it.End of story.",4 12842,"Wow, take care. Namaste.",0 12843,I remember that.,3 12844,It's gonna be the worst phone call of all time.,1 12845,"It's tricky. It must be interesting enough that the girl up, but not too much not to spoil the evening.",0 12846,I'm sorry you didn't get your burger.,2 12847,Dude.,1 12848,"All right, hold your horses. Now to prove that you are as American as apple pie and the childhood obesity it leads to- who is this?",0 12849,"Lily, those are cartoon characters, and I'm pretty sure you're making up episodes. And if Zoey is a cartoon character, she's Cinderella's evil stepmother!",1 12850,"No, I say there are plenty of legitimate reasons to fight, it is perhaps not beautiful, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.",4 12851,"Okay, about that. Ted, listen. I know myself pretty well. And, some time over the next few months, I'm going to want to sleep with you. And when that happens, you have to try to say no.",4 12852,Someone told me of a tapas bar located in the white zone.,2 12853,"I found an amazing Viking lamp that fits right on the coffee table, as long as we don't mind stepping over the cord.",3 12854,"I know. It's like riding a bike, man?",4 12855,Hi.,1 12856,"And your tombstone will read, "got slapped by Marshall so hard, he died."",3 12857,"That notebook, um, does contain a lot of personal info, and I think it has my home address.",4 12858,"Cool, okay. You know, whenever.",0 12859,I don't get it. I mean...,1 12860,No.,4 12861,"Because that's the point of playing, having fun.",2 12862,But you're part of.,1 12863,"Okay, let's take a look. Oh, yeah, it's a cougar all right. A prime specimen. See, you can identify a cougar by a few key characteristics. Start with the hair. The cougar keeps up with current hairstyles as a form of camouflage. The prey may not realize that he's engaged a cougar until he's already being dragged, helpless, back to her lair. Now, the blouse. The cougar displays maximum cleavage possible to captivate her prey. If you're watching them bounce, she's about to pounce. See the claws? Long and sharp, to ward off rival females... Or open alimony checks. Yeah, this one's a beaut. Okay, let the hunt begin.",0 12864,"I need alcohol. I'm not gonna do that stuff with Robin.Look at that. Berry cocktail, conditioner meninges. I dream, these drinks could make a girl smarter. What hell Ted brought us?",0 12865,How do you respond to something like that?,2 12866,There are six chicks here.,0 12867,"P.S., not sitting great.",4 12868,She'll be back.,0 12869,What?,1 12870,"Barney, we have to talk.",1 12871,Oh there is nothing behind your... Ohh!,0 12872,Or we could flip a coin.,3 12873,What exactly is "Ted's fault"?,1 12874,Still wow.,1 12875,And that's the last time you saw her.,1 12876,"Uh, yeah. Isn't that him taking a leak on that fire hydrant?",0 12877,You're smiling.,1 12878,"Oh, but it's OK to hand him a 9 mm? Yeah. He told me. So you're a g*n nut?",1 12879,"Life moves pretty fast, Barney. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it.",3 12880,"Hey, hey.",3 12881,"Okay, I know. You remember the other night, the game of skee-ball, when you did your good score?",1 12882,This is an annual gala that honors the greatest architects of the city?,4 12883,"Well, you're lucky, because mine are the tightest. And touched, they are more gentle.",0 12884,Barney wanted to be a violinist. Need not tell me. You can not draw your life as a building. It does not work like that. You must live it and draw it to itself.,2 12885,"Okay, how's this for a plan? We start walking now, we get to party number three by 12:45. We celebrate the New Year in Central Standard Time.",1 12886,"Yeah, I don't think you did. You know why? Because deep down, you didn't want to show up at this thing with a date. See, for all your big talk about being ready for a relationship, deep down you're single. It's your default setting. Ted, you know what's in the back of your brain?",0 12887,I take the CRT.,0 12888,That was really great. Wh... What went wrong?,1 12889,Isn't it hard for you guys to be on opposite sides of something like this?,2 12890,"Yeah. I don't know if you'd even want it, but if you do, it's yours.",1 12891,"You know what, Matthew? One day, I would have done with 200.",0 12892,Look.,3 12893,"That's just it. It would be useless. This is history, it's done. I would say what? "I wish not to be raised as a boy, that thou teach me not to hunt, fish and smoke cigars and drinking scotch because girls do not do that. And you know why I run like a girl? Because I am one. "",4 12894,"(on Phone) hey, am I interrupting anything? (Holding party mixes)",1 12895,Thank you.,2 12896,I got to see her ankles.,1 12897,Who canceled? Your coven?,1 12898,What kind?,4 12899,"Well, you make a good bro. You're a better Ted than Ted. Hey, in fact, you have just earned yourself an invite to Marshall's bachelor party. And you don't even have to come out of the cake.",0 12900,It was not jealous at all.,3 12901,No weak link in this scene. Bravo!,0 12902,You're a father too.,2 12903,Sorry!,2 12904,But I... Do it.,0 12905,"Robin, Don didn't ask you out.",2 12906,I love you.,3 12907,Am I wrong or is that exactly what Barney says when he's putting the moves on a girl?,1 12908,"God, I love being single.",1 12909,Marshall has really ruined all that.,1 12910,Why?,1 12911,Wait-- did you go out with Ted Mosby?,4 12912,And you played the harp in the dance club of the pre-reform in college.,3 12913,"This is Peter Bogdanovich, talking to Arianna Huffington and Will Shortz, crossword editors of The New York Times! Try at least, Chow and alcohol free. 20 minutes and off we go.",1 12914,Wrecking ball. Don't go swinging no wrecking ball.,3 12915,"Okay, Lily, you sound about as convincing as you did the time you "accidentally" shredded my Joey Buttafuoco pants.",3 12916,What?,1 12917,You're always on the hook.,4 12918,"For a while? Try never, OK? You walk out that door and we're done. You're never gonna hear my voice again.",3 12919,"I think you're taking a "chausettogari", eh, Robin?",1 12920,"Well, it happens. I've fallen out of love faster than that before. Sometimes, boom, with no warning whatsoever. One day we're in love, the next day, he's dead to me. But we're great! Honey?",4 12921,Unbelievable.,4 12922,"No, it wasn't. I had a great time tonight. And seven years ago, if you think about it, we didn't miss by that much. If a couple things had gone a little bit differently... who knows what",1 12923,Who the hell... The Old King Clancy is?,3 12924,"Whoa-Whoa rabbits! Come on, I got that roof reserved.",1 12925,"I'd do that, of course... if he had not already occurred.",1 12926,"Seriously, who talks like that?",2 12927,See ya.,3 12928,"What's going on, did I just have a stroke?",1 12929,"OK, Ted, this is a crazy story. You're gonna love it.",0 12930,"So, Simon, how did you guys meet?",0 12931,He's my boyfriend.,4 12932,"Oh, curling. Um, it's a sport played...",4 12933,So?,0 12934,"OK, well, I better get out there. There's a lot of food to give out. And a lot of smiles.",0 12935,"Well, here we are. I had a reservation at a four-star inn overlooking the ocean but, uh... How can that compete with such a beautiful, magnificent hotel? Welcome to The Arcadian. So here's the deal. If you can last until sunrise in your precious Arcadian, I'll join your side.",1 12936,"Actually, Jane's Addiction got back together.",2 12937,"Uh, yes I am.",1 12938,"Baby, these satin sheets are slippery. Papa needs traction.",3 12939,Needed? (scoffs) She makes training wheels feel needed.,4 12940,"Never ever, ever, ever, ever... times infinity.",4 12941,Two out of three. He assured me.,1 12942,See that over there? That's the old Arcadian Hotel. Fun fact... While today its neoclassical fenestration is considered to be... (the driver suddenly pulls the breaks),1 12943,Barney!,1 12944,"That sucks. I've been there, buddy.",1 12945,I'm just saying that I bet it's bigger than he thinks. And thick.,3 12946,And then we met Stan.,0 12947,I did. I just pee a lot. You'll see.,2 12948,Maybe. But it's a mistake I have to make.,1 12949,Really bad.,2 12950,"Peter Mayhew, in the fur. Who's with me?",0 12951,What are you parl...,0 12952,Still drinking that?,2 12953,Lost at sea!,3 12954,And the lotto numbers for tonight are... 17...,4 12955,"I will say, "Sorry it did not work. "We will discuss in adults. She'll tell me his views and... I will listen. What I should have done more before.",1 12956,"You love them, right?",4 12957,"Marshall I am aware. It was Marshall, Marshall Eriksen.",3 12958,"Oh, she's gorgeous.",1 12959,And really learn how to ski. Not just up and get faced in the lodge.,2 12960,Good call.,4 12961,"Everything's so bright, even at night. No wonder the city never sleeps. (Barney and Colleen laughing)",0 12962,"Marshall, not only is it this year, it's tonight.",0 12963,It's... not that arbitrary...,4 12964,"Um, pause... you can go wherever you want. I guess the question is where do you want to go?",4 12965,I was...,3 12966,Exactly.,1 12967,"Well, that explains the ankle.",1 12968,You think it is possible that Barney Stinson has a girlfriend?,2 12969,"There, there.",0 12970,""Riggs. "I'm too old for this stuff. In fact, it's Lethal w*apon?",3 12971,You can not.,0 12972,"Barney, I think you've officially...",1 12973,"I'm not gonna yell at you, Barney.",3 12974,"Ok, you know this old video of me?",3 12975,""Dear Ted, it's encyclo-pe-die, not encyclo-pil-die. Why you always want to say things so pretentious? Looks like a moron, and it's cr-e-tin and non-cr-ay-tin. "",4 12976,Ooh! The champagne.,2 12977,You can't have to go again. It's not humanly possible.,1 12978,... two...,2 12979,"Oh, boy.",3 12980,We are concerned that you faced not what happened with Stella. Do you remember when Lily left me? How I buried my emotions?,3 12981,I'll watch the film again with you.,1 12982,"Babies are scary, OK? With their giant eyes. And seriously, the fontanelle? If there is a self-destruct button, at least, hide it where it will not accidentally press.",4 12983,Family money?,3 12984,"No! It's not! It's Thanksgiving! Our first one as a married couple, as grownups and you're not even trying to be a part of it! None of you are! So... as slap bet commissioner, I'm issuing a ruling. Thanksgiving is a day of peace. There will be no slaps today!",2 12985,How many of these coats do you think I could put on all at once?,1 12986,"I did not, too.",1 12987,No!,2 12988,She did it too!,0 12989,Jen has not come into being today.,1 12990,"Urgh, I should've kissed her. What about when she gets back from Orlando?",1 12991,"Sorry, I gotta go.",3 12992,"(On Phone) Legendary, that sounds awesome!",3 12993,Why not?,2 12994,"It's funny when I think about it. I was sure that Stella was good. When she left me, I was so devastated. But you helped me overcome that. Now the hard part is over. I came out a little louder. You know, I do not think further of it. This is the work of time, I guess.",1 12995,"Yeah, but I was actually thinking we could reinvest it.",3 12996,"One time I was with this girl and I tried that model line, and I totally got some over-the-shirt boob action at a Just Say No assembly.",3 12997,She's not just "one of them" she's the one.,1 12998,The same things are funny as singles.,2 12999,"Oh come on, we agreed...Did Marshall take his pants off?",1 13000,Stella has already warned me.,4 13001,"No, ok, I'm glad Lily, but Lily is as lucky as me. None of us is low.",3 13002,"Yeah, what the hell? It's prom. That tastes like cough syrup.",4 13003,Yeah she was pretty.,1 13004,Simon. I thought he was the coolest guy ever. He smelled like Drakkar. He could ollie on a skateboard. He had the most amazing collection of Hard Rock Cafe T-shirts. We spent the whole summer madly in love.,4 13005,"Well, what's perfect?",2 13006,I don't have much time!,0 13007,"Exactly, that's why Lily can know nothing.",3 13008,I don't recognize her. She's not on the Top 64.,0 13009,Are you crying?,0 13010,I am so turned on right now.,2 13011,"Mom, I've got something to tell you. Something I should have told you long ago. Tyler is dying. And Betty said that when he is gone, it will go out. So it may soon be over.",0 13012,Hi.,2 13013,"Maybe because I've always been faithful, when thou hast deceived me 6 times, bitch.",1 13014,"Wait a minute. On their first date, he brought her an orchid. How much do you want to bet he's gonna do it again?",4 13015,Nice.,0 13016,"Dude, you were awesome last night. You were charming, you were funny. You were totally working that girl.",0 13017,"Forget it, kid. If anyone should be angry with me, this is Robin. She loves the book.",0 13018,"You, uh, still want a basketball hoop out there?",0 13019,"I'm gonna shower... till June, and, um, since you were never here to begin with, you won't be here when I get out.",4 13020,"Cut! Cut! Grandpa and Grandma will be there in half an hour, and you always skinned my words. I feel like I'm going to write, direct and play this thing. Give me your elf hat. Sit down.",1 13021,I'm bored.,0 13022,"It's beautiful. She is 10 pounds. It is organic. Do you remember my uncle Heinrek bald? Looks like his head squarely.(The taxi hand) Oh, my God! My my turkey... turkey!",3 13023,Getting back to Greek Revival...,1 13024,"Wow! Ted! It's really you on the cover of New York.Now, you say "yes."",3 13025,Now. As I explained...,0 13026,Or... or cost-saving alternative: you could get checked out by someone who looks just like him. I'm gonna go scrub up. I'll meet you in stall three.,0 13027,You should work at a su1c1de hotline.,2 13028,It can... As an organ donor?,0 13029,I think Victoria's about to break up with me.,1 13030,"So, how's it hanging?",1 13031,"Shh. Sweetie, just focus on one thing at a time, okay? Right now, you just have to dress like a whore and that's it.",4 13032,Tell it.,2 13033,So I can go to the second two with no problem?,1 13034,(to himself) But she has a dead tooth.,0 13035,"If architects had only two b*ll*ts, eh Ted?",4 13036,A-7.,4 13037,Shannon? Start the music...,3 13038,"Robin... I've sort of said this already. I mean I've half said it. I've tried to say it, and I've said it badly. So this is me, just saying it. With strings. I'm crazy about you. I think we should be together. What do you say? What do you say?",1 13039,"My list? Dude, do not pretend you're not the kind of guy who keeps a list of all the girls he's slept with.",0 13040,"Not only do you quit the job I stuck my neck out to get you, now you sabotage the project I'm in charge of? Is this because I brushed Lily's boob with my elbow, the other day?",0 13041,What? How?,3 13042,"What the? Haha, joke's on you, I have a cold.",0 13043,"Ooh, third date. You know what that means.",4 13044,I shall spin you 500 dollars if it happened to you instead of me.,0 13045,"No, wait, why get 10 when you can get 5?",4 13046,"Absolutely, Mike, great idea.",4 13047,"What do you expect from me? It's Robin. Victoria's great, but, it's Robin. I've made up my mind. I'm going to end it with Victoria.",1 13048,I guess that's just what they said when I was gone.,0 13049,"Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. Growing matches.",1 13050,It feels good to have you said those things. I'm happy to open myself to you.,1 13051,"Lily, this year, this nasty schoolyard bully of a year will not stop punching me in the face. How did we kick off 2011? My dad died. And now after five months of unemployment, I just blew my dream job. The good news is, in a few seconds, I'm gonna start heaving my guts out because that's what life is for me now: just losing what's inside until I'm just empty.",3 13052,I'm not. I'm just joking around. That's what friends do.,1 13053,"Zoey does what she believes is right, and I want to do the same thing. We have to find a new site for this building.",1 13054,I want to press it!,0 13055,"Uh, hold up, hold up.",4 13056,"But, um, I would much rather share this small, one-scoop sundae with you, Mike.",4 13057,Oh crap.,4 13058,"Okay, but I say only if you find the person, the act and the collection.",4 13059,"Hey, I'm project manager now, so, if you want your old job back...",1 13060,Just one.,3 13061,Oh. No. Robin.,0 13062,I'm sorry. I just thought the mature thing to do would be...,1 13063,"Hey, Lily, what brings you to the crib?",4 13064,I have no idea.,4 13065,"Those two worry me, really.",4 13066,Are those...,3 13067,I will tell you why he is not mad. Because he is so happy with Stella.,2 13068,"I was totally going to tell you to go, but then you gave me this cupcake, and it reminded me how great you are.",1 13069,"Okay, to bring to the banquet and hang out with ironically or to actually have sex with?",1 13070,"I'm not impressed by the talent here tonight. And more I drink, the less it is attractive. I'm a whiskey and Coke in the Cantina scene in Star Wars.",0 13071,Holding the towel.,4 13072,So you talked to the neighbors?,4 13073,I know.,2 13074,Welcome to Robin 101.

(He climbs on a chair) Attention, Canada! I am Barney from America. And I'm here to fix your backward-ass country. Number one: get real money. Don't know what board game this came from, but it's a "jhoke". Number two- and this is the biggie- Quit letting awesome chicks like Robin Scherbatsky get away because, guess what? You don't want her? I'm planting my flag in her- if you know what I mean, which you probably don't- and getting her the hell out of here. You may now return to being pointless. (He sits down and three men arrive behind him) Ah, this coffee is excellent. Oh. Hey, fellas. It's called a "tie".",0 13218,"Well, we know that there's no such thing as a cockamouse. What we don't know is what you guys have been smoking.",4 13219,"Oh, Marshall, switch seats with me. I called g*n for all eternity.",0 13220,Like Prince.,0 13221,"I was six. My uncle Jerry brought me here for the day. He said, "Don't touch anything". To a kid. That's like someone telling us "Don't look at that girl's perky and impossibly symmetrical knockers."",0 13222,"Whoa! Marshall, that's just a game we play in the bedroom.",2 13223,"Well, lucky for you, I happen to know the head waitress, which is ironic because...",0 13224,"No, no. Thank you, mr. President. (He hungs up) Sorry.",0 13225,"My phone's been out of juice, so he must've called me the day the he, uh...",3 13226,"Let's hope Santa brings you a girlfriend this year, Teddy.",4 13227,"But before you poursuives, I'm flattered, but technically I'm not a celebrity. Also, one last time, the mask, it was a joke.",0 13228,"No, I mean it's just that girl that interests me very long time.And tonight this is my chance to get away with it.",1 13229,"Well, what if I'm just a cold person? Tonight, Mike was willing to look like a complete idiot for me, but I couldn't be Gretel. Why can't I be Gretel?",4 13230,What? It is. And we grew up just fine. And we grew to the proper size and then we stopped.,2 13231,"I'm not lying! Guys, Nora's really special. In fact... I think I'm... falling in love with her. Guys! I'm serious.",0 13232,"Yes, but here's the thing... WNKW is...",4 13233,"Oh, how I used to love Meatball Sub Day. And then, the most humiliating moment of my life.",0 13234,I will not fall in love with him.,4 13235,I listening.,0 13236,ArchiSexTure. That's not how you write "Buckminster Fuller.",1 13237,"Really? So, let us walk bitch Street Shuffle.",2 13238,"We know, baby. But you'll always wonder, if you don't. Your dad loved you. It almost doesn't matter what he said.",2 13239,What if he never wants to talk to me again?,0 13240,My dad's dead?,3 13241,"This is all gonna returns to masticate you in the gluteals. Support my hypotehesis, Ted.",0 13242,"Don't you think that maybe we should go home and, uh, "do the laundry"",3 13243,"Yeah, I'll walk out with you guys.",2 13244,"Thanks. I did just start subscribing to esquire. They have some helpful columns. The following, is from the October issue.",1 13245,"I think this right the place where lily and i start a family, I can see it now.",3 13246,"Oh,did you try and take a shower? I'm sorry, I only have one clean towel.",0 13247,Oh my God.,2 13248,"Who is this guy? Are we related? Do, do I look like him?",1 13249,Yeah.,1 13250,Daddy's home.,0 13251,"Mom, mom, it's good. You're not obliged to ask you with him. There's full of guys...",1 13252,"No, I didn't dump her... right before her birthday.",1 13253,You cling to Barney and Marshall.,4 13254,I don't know.,2 13255,"I can even say, without a fault. I'd love to say the same of my friends.",0 13256,Carl!? (turns to friends) You guys weren't there.,1 13257,Folliculaphilia?,1 13258,"So, I started the Powerpoint... (rubs Barney costume at Marshall) Barney?",3 13259,"Lily is evil! She just wore that dress to torture me. Well, you know what? Two can play at that game. See, at brunch, I'm going to torture Lily right back. Yeah. There's a part of my body that she's got a weakness for, too.",3 13260,"Totally what I was thinking. Get out of my head, man!",4 13261,What makes them jerks?,2 13262,"Well, I have good news. As you know, I recently decided to start out and see the girls.",1 13263,You pass me the salt?,2 13264,I said nothing.,4 13265,No. I want to.,3 13266,"Intense? I have a wedding to plan in nine weeks for 200 people. Even if a dinosaur should poke his head out of my butt and consume this coffee table, I need you to roll with it, okay?",2 13267,It's on the list. "Landing on the futon with a friend rather than going to the hotel. ",0 13268,"Yes, a mini fridge. And separate beds.",3 13269,"It was an honest mistake. Look, when somebody opens up a container with an entire chicken in it, it's okay to assume they made lunch for everyone.",1 13270,"So when we finally see a dead ringer for Barney, this is the message of the universe to tell us to do. And at that time, we'll try. Deal?",2 13271,"Right downstairs, come find me. Without Lily.",3 13272,... seen.,0 13273,"Yeah, so.",0 13274,This okay? Am I hurting y...,1 13275,Why?,4 13276,"It's just a button, okay? Can we just talk about something else, please?",4 13277,Wait. You encourage me to cry at your own wedding?,1 13278,Exactly.,0 13279,"That was a poker game. What is wrong with you? No, it's the first law school party of the year and it's gonna be awesome. I haven't seen this guys since, like, last year before Lily and I broke up. So I'm gonna have to break the news to everybody. It's really gonna bum them out. This party's gonna suck.",3 13280,"Listen, PJ. And I want you to think seriously before answering. You tell me I can not go to the bathroom with me?",4 13281,Self-clink.,0 13282,Great (before Robin closes the door) Umm... how do I get to the F Train?,1 13283,"Ted, this woman is an anarchist, a sociopath, a lunatic, and for the love of God, boobs?!",0 13284,"Sure baby, but there is something odd. I flipped through the whole book. There is no role called The Diver.",3 13285,I should call her.,3 13286,"That's it. You're too polite to brag. Well, fine. Let me do it. Because the only person on Earth who loves more than Ted Mosby Marshall Eriksen Marshall Eriksen is drunk. So here we go.",3 13287,Spare key! Brilliant!,1 13288,What?,2 13289,"Robin, the point is, what are you doing? I mean, this guy?",3 13290,Derek's stuck in Connecticut closing some deal. Who works on New Year's Eve? Okay. Now I feel worse. I was really looking forward to this night. This sucks.,4 13291,"Um, everything here is dark and sketchy and seems illegal. It's like shopping in Barney's mind.",3 13292,"Thanks, Lil.",1 13293,(Taps Robin's shoulder) Hi! Have you met Ted? (Leaves),0 13294,"Please, stop.",1 13295,"Oh it does not tell you goodnight, he tells you how he feeds his horses. I could sit there and tell jokes Farmer on you all night. Challenge accepted.",4 13296,You did a commercial?,4 13297,Hit it Ranjit. (They drive off),0 13298,$ 10 000.,0 13299,Typical of a guy.,3 13300,I would like the Spice Girls back together. They were awesome. The worst. (At the bar...) It was me. I farted. It is this type. (At Ted's apartment...) birthday gift from my father. All I want from him is that he tells me he loves me. Just kidding.This pen is sufficient. It's enough. It is completely sufficient.,4 13301,"No, no. No good can come from looking at this. You've made too much progress already.",1 13302,"On the bright side, he came in handy standing in for you during the role-playing exercises.",0 13303,"And if you changed yet? Go Lily, listen to yours.",1 13304,"Really? Stuart: Sure, the more the merrier.",1 13305,"Hi Mom, how's dad's colon?",1 13306,True story.,0 13307,"I know the law prohibits us from going out together. But he also says "Do not teach in having drunk" and I do it all the time.The fact is... I really appreciate you. You're cute, funny. You write a thesis which is entitled, Foreign direct investment and intergenerational ties of consumption behavior. It's too sexy! I know it sounds crazy, but... I feel that our paths are supposed to meet, and... I do not want to miss meeting you.",1 13308,"Of course, we should have a bar!",0 13309,I'm your bitch. Why this time?,1 13310,"No. We always do this. We spend an hour arguing about where to eat, and we end up here anyway. I haven't eaten for two days. Can we please, for the love of God, just order something now?",4 13311,"Ted, don't be crass. I would never demean the women that I've slept with by putting their names on some tawdry list.",0 13312,"No way, no one could sleep while wearing it. Challenge accepted. I, Barney Stinson, brilliant mind in an extraordinary body, this will overalls, and lie with a woman.",0 13313,"Barney's fault entirely. As fat burning on the mantelpiece, for that matter.",1 13314,"That's why I'm here, baby. I am your strength. I'm...Oh, my God. Hello, stranger. (He hangs up with the first woman prisoner and will talk to another who has just arrived) Barney Stinson, attorney. Let's talk about your output.",0 13315,Why didn't you get divorced?,1 13316,"Take an umbrella. It's going to rain, according Galoshes, our clown-weather.",4 13317,"Yeah, well, it's nice to know "past me" wasn't a total jackass, huh?",1 13318,Do not tell me anything! You know I can not keep secrets if it's almost Christmas! Robin offers you an iPod!,2 13319,"It was well played, well played, well played.",1 13320,"And if the alternative is not being together, then it's worth taking this risk 'cause... she's awesome.",0 13321,You went Canadian.,0 13322,"No. Look, you didn't want to be with me so clearly you have abysmal taste in men.",1 13323,It's a disaster. How I will recover?,1 13324,Marshall is a very good father.,1 13325,And they kept shoving platters of food in our faces.,0 13326,"Oh, that's the point. It's to hide the point that I haven't shaved my legs. I've g*n a strict no-shave policy for the first three dates. It's all about self-control. If I don't shave, I must behave.",4 13327,Barney Mom? Loretta.,3 13328,Calm down! You're my only match! There was a computer and there were 8 fish in the sea full of lesbians.,1 13329,"Real suede wouldn't have gone up so fast. You got robbed, this is a blend.",0 13330,That's easy. I took it.,2 13331,What kind of fuel?,0 13332,It's Sunday. It's pancakes day.,3 13333,"Johnny?",3 13334,Let me talk to Stella first.,1 13335,"Man, I can't believe these are vegan.",0 13336,Never having to go to a farmer's market.,0 13337,"Okay, okay. A couple of things. Lily, how'd I do?",0 13338,Dowisetrepla?,2 13339,"You were right. If I hear myself say "Baby, you have my full support" one more time, I swear I'm gonna m*rder someone!",2 13340,"No, silly. One day we all move forward in our lives. It's called growing up.",2 13341,My first solo batch.,1 13342,"Barney, we... we know you're psyched, but just... be careful.",2 13343,Let's go get a drink.,4 13344,The hidden camera in the headboard.,4 13345,"Okay, so, here's what happened. I was at home, waiting for Marshall.",2 13346,I hate you.,2 13347,"Largue Tiffany and join the Barnacle in a buffet of girls pharma. There may be loss of clothing, knees b*rned, respiratory weakness and sore abs the next day. That the world give a damn five?!",0 13348,Marshall...,2 13349,We'll see what happens.,3 13350,"Bluntly. It's as if someone was orchestrating things for this specific purpose. Okay, but you must promise to behave well.",4 13351,It was fine in the end. It freed me from its hook.,3 13352,"Well. You and me, we have to bend over backwards to get a woman to, well, bend over backwards. But that guy... every woman in the bar is hanging on his every slightly mispronounced word. And why?",0 13353,a tramp stamp?!,1 13354,"Some woman that I slept with and screwed over is trying to ruin my life. God, why is this happening to me?",0 13355,Easiest? Somehow we have managed to find the two lamest new yorkers of all time.,1 13356,"Oh, of course it's not for you. It's for Lily.",0 13357,What happened?,2 13358,"We can do it against the door. It'll be hot! It'll be like a three-way: you, me and the door.",1 13359,"For Ted's sake, I hate to say this,",2 13360,Van Smoot is available.,3 13361,"Guys, I found this on the floor.",2 13362,Who's your daddy?,0 13363,I fade hair!,1 13364,Hi everyone.,3 13365,"Please, tell me you repliest not emotional baggage.",0 13366,"In my defense, the breasts, is not it great?",0 13367,"All right! Here we go! You, Me and Ted!",0 13368,It continues? Bravo.,2 13369,"Hey, uh, hey, Jerry, y... you really want to be out here like this?",0 13370,"Well, guys have fun.",2 13371,Yes. I know a great American architect who would be perfect. Ted Mosby.,0 13372,Okay.,0 13373,"Oh, six is great. You are gonna love six. Six is when they really start to... (Robin nods) I hate kids.",4 13374,This is Robin.,3 13375,Come on!,0 13376,You were drunk at 8am?,3 13377,"See, we're both impulsive. We're perfect for each other.",1 13378,"Uh-uh, no. Can't do it.",2 13379,"Yeah. You're welcome, God. Nervous?",3 13380,"Guess who will not fall under his spell? I will make him "Do not try, baby. Papa needs a gin and tonic. "And when she will, I recracherai saying" Do it again. " The dominant male where it should be: on top, and after a few minutes below. Why should I do anything?",0 13381,Worth every penny.,1 13382,What is it?,2 13383,"Hey, I thought it was going to be just us tomorrow. What's with inviting Punky Brewster?",4 13384,Marshall Eriksen.,3 13385,That is funny.,4 13386,You create a holiday?,3 13387,"You know, Lil, when times are tough, I like to remember the uplifting words of my favourite song. He starts singing. "We'll be on your side when you need a friend. Through thick and thin you can always depend. On the world leaders in credit and banking. Goliath National Bank." Member FDIC.",0 13388,"Journalists lie constantly. Sorry, but I believe that Jack Palance is dead when I see the body.",0 13389,Lesbian?,1 13390,What about the guy you set her up with? Is he a 9.6 compatibility rating?,1 13391,"Yeah, but Marshall is still there. There was not much time to talk, just us two.",4 13392,Can you believe it? This is awesome!,0 13393,No! Tell me you did not load the drum set.,1 13394,His flight was canceled. He has never taken off.,4 13395,"Well, that's it. Barney's still got to 6.",1 13396,"Okay, I learned that word by reading it. That's how I've always pronounced it.",1 13397,So you really think that I should not call?,1 13398,Oh! Sweet. No candles.,2 13399,"I do that when I'm alone. When something good happens, and I'm excited and move, and I... I dunno, I want to talk about it.",3 13400,"Dude, Robin has to be there.",0 13401,"Yeah, think of another way to phrase that and you'll be fine.",2 13402,"I hate New York! Sorry, but it's true. Today, I passed PriceCo. You've already been? It's huge. The New York stores are cramped. When I turn, I spill something. I'm like a big monster out of the ocean to destroy bodegas.",3 13403,It's not so sexy.,4 13404,How are you doing?,0 13405,"Lily, I can explain...",0 13406,Derek. Hi. How's work?,4 13407,Hey.,2 13408,Natalie?,3 13409,No! The other part!,3 13410,"I am never going to have closure. Okay? Closure doesn't exist. Okay, one day, Don and I are moving in together, and the next thing I know, he's on a plane to Chicago. It just... ended. And no matter how much I try to forget that it happened, it will have never not happened. Don and I will always be a loose end. We'll always be...",4 13411,I... I... I'm... I'm...,0 13412,What the hell?,2 13413,"Well, tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and everything is pink and red, so Bev very thoughtfully suggested that we wear purple to show how little we care.",4 13414,Still Ted.,1 13415,You know what? That's good. I want my children to see every part of me.,3 13416,"Yeah, you know? Doors-jinx, it does not exist.",2 13417,"You're really pretty, but abnormally high and you will not believe in ghosts.",3 13418,What is it?,1 13419,"Marshall, I love you, but there are plenty of reasons to lie.",2 13420,I offer you a drink?,0 13421,You like the phone booth. It stays. I like this painting so I'm just gonna hang it...right here on the wall.,3 13422,"You know, there is something to that. I remember thinking my tenth grade math teacher was very sexy. I wonder if Harold's still in jail. What? Tax evasion. Among other things.",4 13423,"I'm, I'm gonna stop you right there. Dont bother with the hard sell. This place is, is way out of our price range, and besides, we've only just started to looking.",3 13424,"We will not get there, OK? Nobody will get hurt. It has established rules.",4 13425,"I think that we should not lie to kids, Moo-Moo!",4 13426,It is a great ass.,2 13427,"Mm, I just need two seconds, baby.",3 13428,Wait. Do they have a wave pool?,1 13429,World of Warcraft? The online role playing game? That's how you two met online?,0 13430,Damn it!,1 13431,Okay. Wanna see my post of rap?,3 13432,"Yeah, I guess she's kind of hot, yeah.",3 13433,It is time for some tough love. We need to get him out of that apartment. He needs fresh air. He needs sunshine.,4 13434,"Oh, but you find it irresistible when Becky does? I don't get it. The Ted that I went out with was attracted to the kind of woman who could use a steak kn*fe without supervision.",4 13435,Oh. Our movie snack.,0 13436,In you.,3 13437,It's building the coolest of the universe. It could not be more awesome.,0 13438,"Specifically, those with fire.",2 13439,You deserve better than that.,3 13440,"Where is he was not riding? Hey, Barnstormer.",4 13441,"So, you've not been mugged by a monkey?",1 13442,We are not having the talk!,0 13443,Dr Stella Zinman. She's the best in the business. And she's rather cute in fact. In fact... we're going to a movie together tonight.,1 13444,So I just got a very interesting phone call.,0 13445,"Right. Of course, the-the first being you.",4 13446,"Okay, well, I guess now is as good a time as any. In keeping with tonight's award show motif, I'd like to announce this evening's big twist ending! Vampire Lou, would you do the honors?",0 13447,This cheeseburger is so...,4 13448,"Hi. Amy, do you like... magic?",0 13449,"Hey, Mom. I'm ready to meet my dad.",0 13450,"Well, I must go to Stella. Tonight is the big night. I tried before, I always failed. This time I will succeed. Tonight... I am a lesbian. Robin, your lipstick.",0 13451,"Legendary! So, what's on your mind?",0 13452,"He is, he's in... just in his office next door.",3 13453,Lawyered. Lily?,3 13454,"Lily, control your woman. The lesson of Blauman is that when your boss screams at you, you never scream back. That's why there's a little thing in corporate America I like to call the chain of screaming.",0 13455,That man is a god.,0 13456,"No, I'm not... I'm not just going to throw her out, okay? Mabel's like family.",3 13457,"I know that place. I've walked by it a million times. It's on West 12th, right off of 7th.",4 13458,"I will not attack, Lily. I attack this pervasive culture of failure. I have to toughen them if you want to win the match tomorrow.",3 13459,Wait! Marshall did nothing. It's me. I made you break.,2 13460,Bingo!,0 13461,Now?,2 13462,Dude!,0 13463,"Uh, it looks disgusting.",4 13464,"So, I went inside.",3 13465,"Hey Marvin, you're the dorko, dorko!",3 13466,Okay! I made a list of awesome baby names. Starting at the top: number one...,3 13467,I can not do it. Why I can not do it?,2 13468,Exactly! (To Ted) We have a lawyer?,0 13469,Why did not you say anything?,4 13470,"Okay, I'm psyched about this. But if I'm going to mentor you, I need to know you're psyched about this, too.",0 13471,Wait. It's really funny?,4 13472,"Was in line for the pictures, my hair is in the air... I want to live in New Jersey.",1 13473,What? No. Robin must come.,0 13474,"When I was Dandelion, her complexion was of a deep hazel, unfortunately, his barn is located near a chemical plant, which contaminated water. Over time, it became a dull gray and the vet can not do anything to help.",0 13475,"If you go in there with Lily's kindergarten nonsense, you're gonna get torn apart. I'm here to save your life. you hungry?",0 13476,"I watch this young man dancing near the jukebox, and I can not help thinking... Stella may have made the right choice. Ouch!",0 13477,Yes!,2 13478,"Excuse me, Jen?",3 13479,It all started months ago in the GNB commissary. It was Meatball Sub Day.,0 13480,Why am I freaking out all of a sudden? This is crazy! I'm not ready to settle down.,1 13481,There... there is one last thing I should do.,1 13482,"Ted, I admire your loyalty. You've had that hairstyle forever. You don't care that it's out of fashion or that it's been co-opted by the lesbian community. You stick with it. To Ted.",0 13483,"Sounds to me like he gave you your first "O, Canada!" face.",0 13484,"I would say even more. You, sir, did think Stella. "Ted looked so cool now. Do I chose the wrong? "Wait a week. The bush on the back. And belly. Have you felt that? There was an earthquake "Tope-there".",0 13485,No. I was...,3 13486,"You adore this place. If I tell you, it will ruin it.",4 13487,Oh. I gotta see this.,1 13488,You got a boyfriend?,1 13489,Why not?,2 13490,I can't believe I'm on a date with a hooker.,1 13491,"Yeah, that's Future Marshall's problem. Let that guy deal with it.",1 13492,"Wow, I am so happy for you.",4 13493,What's a sixteen?,1 13494,I'm proud of you for giving Ted the button. It meant a lot.,4 13495,How so?,1 13496,(Subtitle) Yeah. No tannins.,3 13497,"It's not that she would not, but she said that penguins are zero. Penguins.",3 13498,"You know what might... make you feel better, buddy?",0 13499,What are you gonna do?,3 13500,And that's when the night turned to absolute crap.,3 13501,That's not why it's good.,1 13502,"Randy, great news! You're not fired!",3 13503,The good? Mitch? The guy naked?,3 13504,Really?,1 13505,Who else?,1 13506,"Yeah, you're right, I'll ask for another room.",3 13507,"Please, I'm ageless, Scherbotsky just needs a good night's sleep, and you've got "statutory" written all over your body.",0 13508,Ted did not get the job. But this is not the biggest disappointment of the day.,2 13509,"No, you did not ruin a marriage. Only reception.",1 13510,No. That's the bro code. A bro doesn't tell a mutual bro that a third bro has a crush on him. Just like the third bro doesn't tell the mutual bro that the original bro went bare pickle in front of her. It's quid pro bro.,0 13511,"Barney, this guy has slept with Robin, you say that being in love. How it makes you excited?",2 13512,"Oh, man, it's bad enough to have to go through a horrible breakup, but then have that person pop up on your TV? Are you okay?",1 13513,It's important to stay active.,3 13514,What do you think of this wedding cake?,2 13515,"I only like to call my dad with good news. I mean, telling him good news is what makes it feel real to me.",3 13516,Nope!,3 13517,I gotta go get some air.,3 13518,"No. The summer of 2006 was both wonderful and awful. For me, it started out great. (In 2006, Ted and Robin are kissing after the rain dance) In fact, day one was amazing. I'd finally gotten together with Robin. But while I'd been off having one of the best nights of my life, your Uncle Marshall had been having one of the worst nights of his (Ted finds Marshall on their stairs, holding in his hand Lily's engagement ring).",1 13519,Currency rotation specialist.,4 13520,"Robin, this show is so dirty, I don't know whether to hug you or run a shower for you so you can sit there alone, crying and clenching your knees.",1 13521,I can't do it. I can't run that far. I can't outrace anything. I... I can't... I can't get my wife pregnant!,3 13522,"Put a baby in me, Marshall. I'm ready.",2 13523,Yes. Thank you.,4 13524,That was my card!,0 13525,"There's still so much I want to do. I want to travel, live overseas as an artist, maybe have a lesbian relationship. Plus, I think I was just dating you 'cause you look a little bit like Kurt Cobain.",2 13526,"I have a feeling at this point, Rip Taylor is Rip Taylor in a diaper.",3 13527,Yeah. (They kiss) I will do you nothing!,0 13528,"No, I'm not married. Um, I'll explain after you hide.",1 13529,What?,1 13530,"Geez, you go to a vending machine for 30 seconds.",3 13531,Wow. A lot of these girls are young enough to be our daughters.,3 13532,Cheap sh*t. Low blow.,3 13533,"Well, the joke's on the rest of the world cause we can do that on our own.",4 13534,Make it a big glass.,1 13535,No! It is only 21h.,1 13536,Not to mention classy.,4 13537,"Mini Pig, it is impossible that I may one day with you. For now.",2 13538,You forgot what looks like Barney?,3 13539,"Stella...now that I'm no longer your patient, would you like to have dinner with me?",1 13540,"Dude, dude, what are you doing?",3 13541,Yeah.,4 13542,"Exactly! Or when your... I don't know... friend invites you to a laser tag tournament, you don't fight it. You just strap on the vinyl holster and race into that abandoned JCPenney g*n a-blazin'. I'm just agreeing with Ted.",0 13543,They are not all bad. Like... this. Look. I have my eyes open.,3 13544,"It's not a cliché, it's a classic. It's the stairway to heaven of breakup lines.",3 13545,Now I think you're not really mugged by a monkey.,1 13546,"Okay, look, Mary, I like you a lot. I'm sort of amazed at how much I like you, but I can't do this. You're a hooker.",1 13547,"What do you mean, you're going to say yes?",2 13548,It's been closed for six years.,1 13549,Oh. (Laughs),4 13550,What? Why do this?,1 13551,"Well, Lil '!",3 13552,"I dunno, I typed the eye! I even know what I say! I have a great right, either. You ready?",0 13553,But why?,4 13554,But you're wired just fine.,1 13555,Ready for what?,0 13556,"Yes, you can, Virginia. There's a story behind that broach, and I'm going to hear it.",0 13557,"Late again. And she went out with him four years. I would not let me have it again. So I begged her neighbor, Ms. Doglas, call me when she and David have broken loose.",1 13558,"Oh, let's not forget the menu typo gold mine. Keep pannin' that river, buddy.",2 13559,Hey baby! I thought you came here to resign... I forgot the basket.,2 13560,I spent many sleepless nights... to design this building.(The baby makes a return to the magazine) Nothing symbolism there.,1 13561,"It's nothing. Once you're with someone, it is natural to let some go. Trust me. It's been there.",3 13562,"By omission, because this idea of "let the world decide" is crazy.",3 13563,"I mean, did she really think that your college girlfriend Cheryl would pop out attractive children? 'Cause I've seen pictures, and, I'm sorry, that girl had a brow ridge like a caveman.",4 13564,"Marshall, you can't do that!",4 13565,"Oh, well, don't turn him down here in public. I broke up with Scooter at the prom. Right before the picture, too.",2 13566,"So, Lil, Marshall's family. Whole weekend with the future in-laws, you excited?",1 13567,What was with Royce?,4 13568,Great. He could be anywhere. We're flat out of clues.,4 13569,"If you're gonna get it on in a Port-O-Potty, do it early in the day [...] Never screw over a girl whose last name ends in a vowel. 'Cause she's got brothers [...] Never date a girl with a hook for a hand [...]",0 13570,"God, why didn't you throw it away?",1 13571,"No, no, this doesn't prove anything because...",1 13572,Well... I'll see you next time!,1 13573,With small fish.,2 13574,...To me.,0 13575,"No, for that.",0 13576,"Good night, Dad.",0 13577,"No, it's not good! Damn, you're in the working group!",1 13578,"Well, heeellooooo. (to a pretty girl ; phone rings) Sorry, babe, I gotta take this. Barney's phone, Teddy Westside speaking.",1 13579,You again. You even found a way to spoil it. Why?Why let yourself do we as a country?,0 13580,But that's impossible. You deleted his number.,2 13581,Come on. This is boring! I knew it was a bad idea.,4 13582,What hat?,3 13583,I'm not sure how to start this.,0 13584,I will work.,4 13585,"Thank you, kindly stranger.",0 13586,"Well, maybe yours is a bit lazy.",1 13587,It's getting serious. You see?,3 13588,I changed! I like the w*apon now. Charger.,2 13589,You know since when?,4 13590,"Come on, you just know he's an Italian race car driver.",0 13591,Terrible. And because of you! I listened to your advice stupid!,3 13592,"Ted, she is going on that camping trip. Dude, barring some act of God, Robin's gonna be with Sandy this weekend.",0 13593,"Because at the Non-Fathers Day, you have a Thai girl you a blowjob. Tope, puns!",0 13594,What?,4 13595,Lily... are you trying to k*ll me?,3 13596,"Welcome to big Wave Luau. Can I tiki your drink order? Aw, crap.",2 13597,"Got it. Anyway, Ted, part two of my story: my friend Kelly's going to be there.",4 13598,"Our two children, our 8 grandchildren, 11 great grandchildren our, our plane piloted by Oprah, and it is poised to spits at an art museum that contains all your favorite pictures, and the only way save everything, and answered: Art thou the weak or strong?",3 13599,"No, that's what you had for dinner.",1 13600,"Well, tried to explain to him it wasn't a real class, but I don't think he speaks much English.",1 13601,"Mm-hmm, at $500 a piece.",3 13602,I...,0 13603,False! I once fantasized about that silhouette chick you see on a truck's mudflaps. Took me less than a mile.,0 13604,Philly!,0 13605,"Listen baby, I know it's scary, but look at me. I'm fine.You can put this behind us?",3 13606,"Oh, I understand. Duck Stan is a good bro. I'm happy for you. Best of luck. (He hangs up)",0 13607,"Okay, hurry! (They come down to the rescue ladder) Michael and Laura are probably...",2 13608,I don't understand. Where is the burger place?,4 13609,Where did Barney? It's been over an hour.,1 13610,You're still their father?,1 13611,"Ok, how about Hurley's?",4 13612,Best man? You're being summoned.,2 13613,Thank you kind sir. At least someone appreciates the fact that I'm doing and not thinking. And now I don't think I won't not go to the bathroom.,1 13614,"I don't know where it is, Regis, I swear!",0 13615,"Uh, you know, Mike and I joked about doing something together but we decided not to dress up.",4 13616,It's silly.,1 13617,It's actually a great book. It taught me the power of complete memory.,3 13618,I'm gonna head out to a reggae concert. I'm a huge fan of reggae.,0 13619,What are you talking?,1 13620,Thanks for watching.,4 13621,Um (clears throat) She couldn't make it.,1 13622,"OK, what the hell.",1 13623,"Oh, right, is that the...?",2 13624,Oh...,4 13625,"I know, but I'm doing this for Ted. Hmm. God, this is really hard.",2 13626,"Hey, just so you guys know, there was a tiny expl*si*n at the sewage treatment plant across the street from our apartment, but I'm sure it's fine by now.",3 13627,That's the problem. I must be Brunivers in East Meadow in one hour.,2 13628,"Sorry buddy, I'm taking this one too.",0 13629,It was the same size!,3 13630,What? Where?,2 13631,How many dances are we talking about?,2 13632,I can not tell you.,4 13633,"Yeah, absolutely. Um, listen, something happened at the airport. Um...",1 13634,My wife's always getting on me about my dry elbows. So good to be in a relationship. Anyone special in your life? Or maybe just someone you're interested in? Interes-ted in?,3 13635,"Come on, I can't stand to watching my delusional friend waste another precious Halloween. The Slutty Pumpkin is not coming.",0 13636,"Carl, listening. No. I do not want to leave. Mercy, mercy, do not force me to leave.",4 13637,No.,0 13638,It was a pre-made.,1 13639,"I hope that's his end game. Actually, I don't. I like you two together.",3 13640,So young. You can not do anything else?,0 13641,I paid for the cab.,2 13642,"So far. Tells the story, tells the story!",0 13643,I'm not dressed for it.,3 13644,"Yeah, they do.",4 13645,"Relax, man. I'll take the Fiero.",3 13646,Stella?,1 13647,"It began 2.5 million years ago. The man was a hunter.So the profession's sexiest moment? Picker. h*m* erectus, indeed. With improved technology, the profession's sexiest moment was changing. I'm sure it's a hernia. You can double-check? And then the man grabbed the heavens. So girls sexy stiletto heels began and became a flight attendant. I'm right and ready to fire. Then the man said, "Life is hard. I should start taking lots of drugs. " So sexy girls landed in medical offices, hot enough to make these pills erection ironically unnecessary. So today, girls are pharma's sexiest moment.",0 13648,Good boy!,1 13649,"I see where this is going. Ted, waiting naked in a girl's bed wearing whipped cream undies does not work... usually. The setting-- Martha's Vineyard, 1999. The characters: Yours truly and a raven-haired au pair by the name...",0 13650,C minus? What are you talking about? I just pulled an all-nighter!,0 13651,It's disgusting.,4 13652,"That's not allowed. Lily, you're the slap bet commissioner, is that allowed?",0 13653,"Dude, I feel like I haven't seen you in a month.",1 13654,"Well, if Ted does not say, I will. I love you.",0 13655,"And this is true for a former Yankee. When I arrived here, I was the fourth date with a girl I loved a lot before I do the fly by Phil Rizzuto.",1 13656,"In a minute, baby. I've only got so many hands. You see what I got going on here? They're turkeys, but they're also hands, because later, we're going to eat turkey... and then i'm going to slap you in your face.",3 13657,There's billions of guys on Earth. Why do you sleep with him?,1 13658,"Yes, Lily Aldrin. I sold you the painting earlier today.",2 13659,"It takes longer than five minutes to really get to know someone. You keep giving up on people so quickly, you're gonna miss out on something great.",4 13660,"Robin, what are you doing for Halloween?",3 13661,I would love that one bag of Royce or she is nice.,1 13662,A Taco?,0 13663,Really? That's Wife... vantable.,0 13664,No! It's my ice cream; you can't have any.,0 13665,"Okay, fine.",4 13666,"That's the crazy part. I've had this shirt for, like, six years... Until this morning I wasn't into it at all, but now it's like my tastes have changed.",1 13667,"Okay, it's just an internship to make a little money. After law school, I'm going to work for the NRDC. They're gonna stop global warming.",3 13668,How dare you?,4 13669,"Well, we just had our first fight.",1 13670,Desperate "Please-don't-leave-me" sex is amazing.,0 13671,"Barney, I hate to break this to you, but working for a bank's kind of lame.",2 13672,"What happened to classic? Sat Troulcu, Ted and Bill Oukoi, Maby Stoukette, Roland Cule, that's false names, but Jen Coulin?",1 13673,But she's so cute and furry and soft.,2 13674,"Talking, we should be talking. Words. Here are words. Why is this so hard? Laughter!",0 13675,"So when we finally see a dead ringer for Barney, this is the message of the universe to tell us to do. And at that time, we'll try. Deal?",2 13676,"Dude, I'm just reading my paper.",4 13677,It's Robin.,1 13678,"Lesson one, lose the goatee, it doesn't go with your suit.",0 13679,"Well, what can I say except... um But I am! I can always come? I will pay?",1 13680,"Damn it, Marshall. I'm not paying you to tell me what a saint Ted is! You're my lawyer! The answer is in there! Find it!",0 13681,"Good night, psycho (smiles). (Ted sarcastically clutches heart. Realizes friends left him)",4 13682,"All right, what's the message? 'Cause if it's another hypothetical yet eerily accurate drawing of my boobs...",2 13683,What is wrong with you?,4 13684,You weren't trying to win the break-up?,1 13685,"But, Marshall, you love New York.",2 13686,I always wanted to be an actor. It is this kind of dream that flies away with time.,1 13687,Sorry about that.,3 13688,I have a hiding on the roof.,0 13689,"OK so I didn't have a written lease as such but, but go ask my landlady, Mrs. Conroy.",2 13690,It is Canadian! Robin is Canadian! She is Canadian.It comes not from Bemidji and she knows bugger all about the Vikings.,3 13691,"I love you, Marshall.",2 13692,"Come on, it can't be that bad.",1 13693,"Uh, is this working for you?",3 13694,"Ted, I challenge you to a picking-up-girls Olympiad.",0 13695,I was just stopping by to pick up some of my things.,2 13696,So you keep a photograph?,1 13697,"Probably not, baby.",2 13698,"Sorry, toots. He's taken.",4 13699,Yes.,4 13700,Really?,3 13701,"The capabilities of Gilbert reading have improved considerably... "This is a letter I had to give one of my students.,2 13702,"Sir, none of that is...",3 13703,I do not even know why we laugh!,2 13704,"Oh, I had this move. So I came here to bust it. Can you get me in? (Motions to doorman that he's with her)",3 13705,That's crazy! And they use "Ulee" because of the vowels.,1 13706,Do not look at me like that.,2 13707,I did that one time.,1 13708,To Lily and Marshall.,4 13709,I'm just like super busy right now.,1 13710,Well done.,0 13711,Have I ever... If I'm totally honest... Yes.,0 13712,Not even on bracket. Cinderella story comes out of nowhere to win the whole thing. That'll warm your heart.,3 13713,Absolutely not.,0 13714,"You didn't phone-five did you? I know when you don't phone-five, Ted. Come on, we always go to MacLaren's.",0 13715,"Oh, no!",1 13716,It is Sunday.,3 13717,It's hot.,0 13718,"Yes, we'll juice.",4 13719,"Sam. Uh, father. I-I don't mean father father. Unless...",0 13720,Meeker got fired because of me. I'm the bad guy.,3 13721,(Sipping drink) Mmm... Who's bourbon is this?,1 13722,"Yeah, buddy.",1 13723,Who is Jenkins?,1 13724,Not a good game but okay. Five tickets well placed to Robots vs. Wrestlers.,0 13725,I've not dredged.,4 13726,Wh... you sure? We got big plans.,1 13727,"(Subtitle) Come on, let's go. (Marshall refuses)",1 13728,You can't just... Wow!,0 13729,"Lily, kidding. I want to look cutesy and romantic, but this weekend, Robin will be the only girl that I will draw.",0 13730,"Not that I want to make you say, but surely you want to get married.",2 13731,Yes.,1 13732,He was the worst kisser I've ever been with. But the moment I decided to dump him...I suddenly got kind of wistful. (as speaking to a dog): He was a good boy.,4 13733,We must break them. You're right. Barney and Robin are unhappy together but they are too stubborn to admit it. We must make the break.,3 13734,"Oh, okay, Lily.Why don't you have a baby with your butt?",3 13735,"Do not worry. If I can jump tonight, it will save the evening.",3 13736,Define "serious".,1 13737,"Totally. Well, look, if you would just... help me fill out these forms, that would be great.",0 13738,Dude!,0 13739,"Lily, I love you.",3 13740,Okay.,4 13741,"Don't k*ll the bar, dude.",3 13742,"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry.",2 13743,No.,2 13744,"Yeah. You're writing constantly. There's forms we have to sign, our death folders, thank you notes...",2 13745,Have you been outside?,2 13746,"Yosemite Sandy, definitely.",3 13747,"I know, do you wanna get a...",1 13748,I'll get my bag. (Ted go to his bedroom),1 13749,This is the toughest time in Marshall's life and I feel absolutely useless. What can we do to help?,1 13750,Excuse us a minute. (Barney leads Ted still at the entrance of the bar) Have you gone crazy? We do not want their numbers.,0 13751,"I know, and it's provided us with a lot of laughs. But, Robin, if you want to live here, work here and throw chairs at people here, you have to do this.",0 13752,"Pete, please, I'm tired...",3 13753,I thought we did everything right.,2 13754,How does it... Wait.,3 13755,"Of course, sweetie.",1 13756,"Oh, lobster, lobster, lobster, you are delicious!",2 13757,"It's so nice to meet you, Mike. You guys are really cute together.",2 13758,All right.,1 13759,I will quote 50.,2 13760,"Yeah, I was almost too tired for all the sex.",1 13761,It's not comparable. She is younger than you.,2 13762,"Look, I don't have time for a fake history lesson, so I'll keep this simple. You go over there and talk to that girl, I will see you in court.",1 13763,Yeah?,1 13764,"You find pepperoni fascist and you're so right, so... (He finds Karen in bed with another) Oh, my God! Karen!",1 13765,Here's a fun fact. See the Alberta Building over there?,1 13766,"You throwing a big, free party with lots of booze and food and all your single, desperate girlfriends from college? Yeah, glad we dodged that b*llet.",0 13767,"Well, you're gonna need to get in touch with her. She's gonna teach me how to do a rain dance.",1 13768,She would love that! It does look fun in the movies.,4 13769,"Yeah, um, isn't it a little early in our relationship to do something that would end our relationship?",4 13770,"In your car, um, then you'll take it...",1 13771,"Oh, what is wrong with you?",2 13772,"You're right. You're completely right. I love you, Lily.",3 13773,Ooh!,2 13774,Yeah?,1 13775,Cher?,2 13776,"Well, I'm glad you like your new co-worker.",2 13777,"OK, here I go.",1 13778,"Down where? To the yacht club? Oh! I would love to. W-w-wait. I'm half Jewish, will that be a problem?",1 13779,"Truth is, my friend... he does this thing where he goes to airports with fake luggage to pick up girls and we followed some here to Philadelphia. That's it! That's all this is!",1 13780,Yeah.,0 13781,"Jeremy, no!",2 13782,Damn it.,3 13783,"Oh, no. (A man is proposing to his girlfriend. Marshall stands up and throws a hotdog at the engaged couple.)",1 13784,Yeah.,4 13785,"Mark my words, Marshall. Someday you will find Iris so excruciatingly attractive, you won't be able to look her directly in the boobs.",0 13786,Fall off. Shorts just fall right off.,0 13787,I'll tell you where things aren't doing... out of that bedroom. Not good enough.,2 13788,And that's not happy?,0 13789,"You're an idiot"?,0 13790,"You've got a whole meat locker at home full of corpses, don't you?",1 13791,They told what they had eaten at noon.,3 13792,I don't even believe it myself.,4 13793,You ready.,1 13794,"Wow, Barney. You've been crying about this guy or what?",4 13795,"1998. Cleveland's g*n Arena, front row. Caught JC's shirt. What else you got?",1 13796,"Careful, Robin, I'll do it.",0 13797,"No, you were right. A kid needs a hoop.",0 13798,Um...,0 13799,"I could take 20 minutes, but a friend called me in tears.",4 13800,You can not live like this.,2 13801,No.,1 13802,Ow this is exciting!,3 13803,Zoey... Zoey!,1 13804,Stop fighting!,2 13805,Let us be clear... this woman is angry against you because you lied to him. So your solution is to claim that you broke your leg?,2 13806,Oh my God.,2 13807,"No, lose your virginity. What up. Statistic-- men who have had at least one relationship with a prostitute are 75% more likely to have success in future relationships.",0 13808,You know what I hate most about Ted?,0 13809,"Nothing, it's just, you know, you have love handles.",3 13810,"So, why did you lie?",3 13811,"Yeah, me, too.",0 13812,"Okay, first hear my demands. One, Ted and Barney keep their jobs. Two, when you guys do finally blow up The Arcadian, one of them gets to push the button.",2 13813,"Oh, hey, Nora.",4 13814,"Day of Non-Fathers, it sucks. It's a feast for the losers.",1 13815,"Jim, there is nothing in my usual way to pack.",0 13816,"How do you even remember that? Lily, this is a number that you will never dial again.",4 13817,You and I are married. So it is also part of my family.(Marshall will open the door for the third time) Enter.,3 13818,You have a dojo?,4 13819,"No, Lily, they love me, but that's not the important part.",3 13820,I took it in passing. It's nothing.,0 13821,"Uh... Claws, paws, talons, hooves, beaks and clenched monkey fists. We can do this!",0 13822,"Ted, we found a stripper who looks exactly like Lily!",0 13823,It's a very pretty name.,1 13824,To become the most successful female TV journalist of all time.,0 13825,I hope I can pass this hot dog.,0 13826,"I know. That's all I advance. A new chapter in my life begins today, and we'll celebrate. Here, we need two things.We need Kool and the Gang. It's time the jukebox!",1 13827,I think we'll... have sex with Ted.,3 13828,"sweetie"? Really? (They walk into the kitchen Barney mouths) Sweetie?,0 13829,"Come on, we're friends. In addition, we already had our Thanksgiving last relapse, it is not old.",1 13830,"Oh, my gosh, it's perfect! Oh! This dress is totally going to get me laid on my wedding night.",2 13831,"GNB treats people like they're disposable, and I will not be a part of that. Marshall Eriksen does not fire people, period.",3 13832,"Carl, a round of champagne.",2 13833,So how did Zoey react?,4 13834,What does that mean?,0 13835,Why?,2 13836,"I mean I stand by what I did, Ted.",2 13837,You too.,4 13838,You're right. I exaggerate with this story of Robin. What is an announcement? Wife Robin Don. I'll die alone! Ted eventually eaten by her cats!,0 13839,"Oh I wouldn't be so sure about that, Robin. Think about it. Don... Donald. Donald... Duck. (Marshall sighs heavily) And what, I wonder, does Donald Duck never wear?",1 13840,Sandy time. Sandy time!,1 13841,Wrong. It's a mistake you don't have to make. Look at the evidence. You and Robin have tried this again and again...,3 13842,Why are you becoming this person? I heard that in college you flashed a campus tour group on a dare.,4 13843,Perfect. Problem solved. Welcome aboard.,0 13844,"I'm here, I'm fine, my head is bleeding. Going down again.",4 13845,"Ted, anyone who's single would tell you the same thing. Even the dumbest single person alive, and if you don't believe me...call him.",2 13846,Both of us.,1 13847,"No, go ahead. I'm listening.",1 13848,"Robin again? Ted, the universe clearly does not want you and Robin to be together. Don't piss off the universe. The universe will slap you.",0 13849,"Okay, wait, wait, wait. That's professor Lewis's office there.",3 13850,Wait. We just want...,4 13851,At least it was a great party.,2 13852,The apartment is a metaphor for Marshall! (Robin gives back Ted his five dollars),2 13853,"Oh, Teddy boy.",4 13854,"But to be fair, she's also hot.",0 13855,What do you want?,2 13856,Unless...,1 13857,Now that I think a call would have been nice.,1 13858,"No, no, no. You don't even know! Right here!",0 13859,We're not a couple.,2 13860,Where do I sign?,1 13861,I have to stop it.,1 13862,"No. No. We are already behind schedule. Ted, come on. We have an hour and a half before midnight I don't want to be kissing Ranjit.",0 13863,Of course.,1 13864,So you went out with Barney last night?,1 13865,"Wow. Ted, this is amazing.",4 13866,"OK, I just want everybody here to know that I'm not a gay pirate. I have sex with my parrot all the time. That came out wrong. Oh yeah, it doesn't matter! We won!",3 13867,It must go talk to him.,2 13868,"Well it feels good to finally meet the famous Jenkins, after all these stories.",1 13869,What?!,3 13870,"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a turturkeykey to baste.",1 13871,"Hold on. We were dating then. I specifically remember, because we had great sex that night. Great sex.",1 13872,"Um, other than confirming a lot of European stereotypes about Americans, did that little story have a point?",1 13873,That's going to take a week?,1 13874,It... I... miss him so much.,3 13875,"It's not her nose that's in my ass, Lily, it's her heart. My class loves me; I-I'm really making an impression on those guys. I'd like to make impression on those guys.",1 13876,"We were having a conversation about prostitution, and then Barney calls her up and then she shows up at the bar and now she and Ted are upstairs.",3 13877,"Bro, we are already the four jiggity-jamminest dudes and dudettes this side of... Okay, let's see the cards.",3 13878,Again?,3 13879,"Hey, babe. The gang says feel better.",3 13880,I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! You guys are boyfriend and girlfriend.,2 13881,"Because of your bickering roommates are always a source of conflict between you two, I wanted to help. In fact, I went to the post. I took you stamps. In about 10 000. That should be enough.",0 13882,"(On Phone) Is she talking to some hot guy? Oh, you can tell me. It's totally cool. It was my idea! Hell, I told her she could take the ring off.",3 13883,"Green door, red neon sign. Guys, this is the place. I've actually, I prepared a few words.",3 13884,"Hey, guys. What you talking about?",4 13885,"Uh, hey. Where are you guys?",1 13886,Taxi!,2 13887,"Private Booty, reporting for duty.",2 13888,"No. I'm going to show everyone this embarrassing video of you. It's Robin Sparkles III, y'all!",0 13889,"Please stop. Okay, fine.",1 13890,"Okay, Lily, I have no choice. If you have a daughter, day, no, the minute she is 18... Gong!",0 13891,A cycorde.,4 13892,I might.,2 13893,"And also with you. Man, this is what church has been missing. Dude, you fixed church.",1 13894,"OK, I'm flipping it, here I go.",1 13895,"No, I'm kind of tired.",4 13896,"It's not you, that.",4 13897,(With only a mustache now) What a jerk? I don't go to your stupid country and try to seduce woman with my sexy accent.,1 13898,You asked him if she had reached the right exit?,4 13899,"Yeah, tough love, not hand the guy a noose.",4 13900,"Yes, I do. But you always said that when we had kids, you wanted to move out of Manhattan.",3 13901,Barney Five... order something.,3 13902,"m*rder?! No! I, baby-no. You develop a chronic illness! I spare no expense for your care! I even stand up a foundation in your name. We're, like, this close to a cure.

Heads or Tails is looking for a new currency rotation specialist.",4 13939,"God, I hate being single!",3 13940,"My favorite, number seven. Create a mystery about yourself. That way, they become so intrigued that they have to hang out with you all night.",0 13941,384 months.,2 13942,But you're the best.,3 13943,"No, go up. Wait... When they blew the Death Star with thousands of stormtroopers it was human?",2 13944,"What? Ted, it's too late.",0 13945,"No! We have to go to Vegas. Look, Ted, I didn't want to say this, but... there's something that I have to tell you, and I wanted you to be in the best possible frame of mind before you heard it.",0 13946,"Yeah, Robin, that was, like, ten years ago.",0 13947,"Henrietta knows we're just friends. In fact, I'll call and get away with it tonight, friends.",1 13948,"It's hard. I imagine it would be... Holly. Robin told me everything. That's why I invented everything. Guys, here is Holly. And I have not waited for your precious three days to call. I knew where she was working so I found. Let me ask you? It was too early?",1 13949,She's...,0 13950,What?,1 13951,"Ted, this is so...",4 13952,"...I could really use someone like you. You know, in case I freak out. When I freak out. You interested?",4 13953,You want me to send it to Ted. I knew it.,3 13954,"Very friendly, the security camera, too. And there is one another. And a security guard.",1 13955,What? I am not irrelevant. I know tons of stuff. I could help you guys. I don't wanna be left out.,3 13956,"Sorry, but I did sleep with that girl twice. As Barney and Larney. Okay, we're down to the Final Four. What do you think, people? Come on, dig deep.",0 13957,No one.,4 13958,Sleep with her mom?,0 13959,"Wow, we're gonna watch this a lot. Robin: I even wore a bedazzled jean jacket.",0 13960,"Lily, I am delighted that you mention.",3 13961,"Well, that's because you're going about this all wrong. I mean, why chase someone who's following you? All you need to do is go down to the bar, hit on someone, and wait until she turns up.",4 13962,(shudders) Looks like that bee got busy.,0 13963,"Dude, what's your thing with the breasts of my woman tonight?",3 13964,"Whatever, Ted.",0 13965,This is obvious.,3 13966,"You mean how Lily and Marshall broke up and Lily is gone and nothing else even remotely important happened last night? Yeah, I think he knows.",1 13967,"As a manager, I threw in the towel. This bet is over.Your ear looks like a Danish pastry in a French breakfast.",4 13968,It all tastes the same once it's in the bowl.,4 13969,"OK, so please, just play along with her fake story. We met in a cooking class.",1 13970,Anyone up for a drink at MacLaren's?,0 13971,"Like I said, it was stupid.",2 13972,Unpause.,3 13973,"I know, i know, i know, i know! But what do i tell him?",2 13974,"Oh, honey.",2 13975,I'm going to go get another round.,4 13976,So our usual wager. Deal.,2 13977,Why?,2 13978,And?,3 13979,So you're not mad?,4 13980,What's wrong with this shirt?,3 13981,They're called British morning socks.,1 13982,"Okay, yes, it's sweet in theory, but isn't it also kind of crazy? I mean, a string quartet in my living room... who does that?",4 13983,Children? Why...,4 13984,"Oh, yeah, I'm just tired. And when I get tired, I get cranky.",2 13985,"Dude, call it. Hold on, I'm gonna make some popcorn.",3 13986,Exactly-- kind of. Randy doesn't need to be fired. He needs to be fixed.,3 13987,"Okay, you know, maybe I wasn't clear enough. I will come at you with everything I've got. I will stalk you like the lioness stalks the gazelle: careful, patient, deadly. And if you let your guard down for so much as a second, as sure as you were born, I will hump your brains out.",4 13988,You really want to know? This is Schlegel's Bagels.,4 13989,"Friends, Will Shortz, editors of the Times crossword. You know, I always say they use "Ulee" of Gold Life for vowels? Tell them.",1 13990,"That's not true. It's just temporarily dislocated. Seriously, I'm fine.",0 13991,"Because you are sat here all night. You could leave, but you did not. Listen, Nora, these lies, it was the old me. But I swear I try to change.You... make me want to change.",0 13992,"Come on, everybody. Come here. Let's make a memory.",2 13993,"Come on, Lily, we have a tightly scheduled evening of awesomeness ahead of us. I need you to power through the pain.",1 13994,I'm not mad at anybody. I've forgiven you. And I've outgrown Barney as a friend. It's that's simple.,1 13995,"Guys, we just met. And we both screwed up relationships in the past by jumping in too quick, so we talked about it, and we decided to take this one slow.",1 13996,This is incredible!,0 13997,"Oh, what about you forgetting to check the egg timer for charades? I gave you one thing to do,Marshall. One thing.",2 13998,This is false.,2 13999,We almost lose control.,1 14000,What are you talking about?,2 14001,You what?,1 14002,Really?,1 14003,Arizona... You know... I always wanted to see what looks like a license in Arizona.,1 14004,"Ok, game plan Maggie arrives, a few minutes of gathering and presentation, and everyone leaves us. This is my only chance, and I will not go wrong.",1 14005,"Rule number two, this bet is for one million dollars.",1 14006,"Sorry, you just said...",1 14007,"Yes, I know I didn't realize that it was...",1 14008,"Hi, Kara. So you guys,are like back together now?",3 14009,I don't want this anymore.,3 14010,How do you know?,1 14011,Man you're a dork.,2 14012,Hi.,1 14013,"Hey, kid.",0 14014,Lubricant is public property. (Robin groans),0 14015,"Okay, one night. Got to go.",4 14016,Which brings us to step 5: THE TIPPING POINT.,0 14017,I don't know guys. It's not awkward unless we let it be awkward.,3 14018,Let's cuddle.,1 14019,"Yeah, Right. Thanks.",0 14020,"Well, heeelllooo.",0 14021,Nice to meet you.,3 14022,"Oh, my God. It's me!",0 14023,I love juice.,1 14024,"No, they don't.",1 14025,Two beautiful flowers for two beautiful flowers.,0 14026,"Oh, um, that's my other line. It's not a number I recognize.",3 14027,You're going to try to make you anybody here?,4 14028,Good night.,4 14029,Observe.,1 14030,It's T-Mose.,1 14031,"Carl! Oh... This has nothing to do with us. You're totally ridiculous. (The girls stand up and leave the booth; the other girl sits down at their booth) Don't look, baby. Just don't look. Come on.",4 14032,"Hello. Uh, I'm looking for my wife, Ms.Aldrin.",3 14033,"When I was with Robin, you remember the only thing that made pinball?",1 14034,And?,4 14035,He put the boots!,0 14036,"You're not Lily. Lily is a diabolical puppet master, the subtle situations to achieve its ends. This is evil incarnate. You have the right. Cling to it.",0 14037,Are you kidding?,1 14038,"I love you more than anything, but you're worse than a kettle. I'm surprised that your pee breaks are not as steam.",3 14039,Barney Stinson.,0 14040,"Of course... the chemical stuff, yes. But, what grows in nature, they can try, like, a couple of times.",4 14041,What do you mean?,1 14042,"I found her online. I'm tired of the whole bar scene, the one-night hookups. I'm looking for a soul-mate, someone who I can love and cuddle, or so it says in my profile. (evil laugh) But this girl, she wants the same stuff and it's bumming me out. All right, Ted, call me from the hospital.",0 14043,Why is there a bag of pants marked "April 2008" in your closet?,4 14044,"Honey, will see the dirty hippie to the reservation there, we, we'll take to drink.",2 14045,"Okay, I'm outta here.",1 14046,"Yeah, Doug sees someone?",4 14047,Ready to go?,3 14048,It's nothing.,1 14049,Sorry?,0 14050,I thought they made up last night.,2 14051,"I assure you, that's not a nickname that I...",0 14052,Yes.,1 14053,This is outrageous! And relevant.,4 14054,"But Ted, remember your answer, because... The costume is Robin. I know! Okay?",0 14055,I looked confident?,1 14056,... up...,3 14057,"Well, what did you expect? You've seen my penis.",3 14058,Let's do shots.,0 14059,Or put posters on the wall without a frame.,1 14060,The 18th can't get here fast enough.,1 14061,"Oh, this is so embarrassing. I could've sworn I have some change. I know, I know, I'm sorry. Oh, here we go. No that's, that's a button... It was a button. Do you take credit cards?",2 14062,"No, but what is your favorite.",2 14063,Alan Thicke?,1 14064,"Ted, Derek stood me up.",4 14065,Owl?,1 14066,You bring it up every time...,4 14067,"He's forty-one. Hey, bob! Over here!",4 14068,"First, I no longer have my gold medallions. I sold them when they are out of date, 400 years ago.",0 14069,"And then, well, see, my dad grew up in a small town, in another generation, so sometimes - totally well-meaningly - he'd say stuff like...",3 14070,I'm stunned.,3 14071,I missed a skateboarding dog?,1 14072,"It was Italian. Classic, elegant. And my God he knew how to deal with women. They could not say no.",0 14073,I slipped a note of the type 20!,4 14074,"It's France. No matter, I told Bilson...",0 14075,"I was just so uptight in New York, you know? I mean, down here everybody shares everything. It's like we're all one big shimmering ball of positive energy. I wonder if anyone's ever thought that before.",4 14076,The drawer under the oven. I can not wait. You're the best!,2 14077,"(knocking at the door) Ted, are you out there?",4 14078,"Whoa, he hates them.",3 14079,"'Cause, you know, you be a bad, bad man, and I be an outlaw.",3 14080,"All right, Polly gotta pee.",2 14081,I got it? I got it!,4 14082,"What, you don't think you'd need my help? You don't know what I can do. I'm like... like a berserker.",1 14083,I did it for your own good. You do not see how it was horrible. She failed the test of the porch.,2 14084,Thermos.,0 14085,Once?,1 14086,All right. Let's meet your new doppelganger. Or should I say doppel banger.,0 14087,Honey. You're always sorry for the joke of the dancer?They joked. We all know that this is a basketball injury.,2 14088,You just made my night.,1 14089,"I'll get your coats? Ted: I don't know why I said that. Why did I say that? It's the opposite of what I meant. I wanna take clothes off them, not put more on.",2 14090,Stack between his office and dry cleaner. Sorry.,1 14091,It started with the dishes but after...,3 14092,This is not true!,2 14093,"OK, Robin arrives. You know, I'm fine. The former should be able to go to weddings. I'll tell Stella to do with.",1 14094,"It's true. I can hear them. What's that, little boys? What's that? You wanna go for a... rock?",0 14095,What's revertigo?,2 14096,"Really? You watch his show? It's like watching an aquarium lit, and less interesting. And now that I think, not even informed.",1 14097,But he's The Blitz.,0 14098,I know. "We're Swedish. It's so cool with our baguettes and our Eiffel Tower. ",0 14099,I just said "No Stella." It was perhaps for your hearing problems.,3 14100,You know if you don't make your friend feel better you could throw a drink at my face. I don't mind.,1 14101,"You guys are adorable. You seriously believe that I, Barney Stinson, can't talk you into this? I got the Queen to give me a fist bump.",0 14102,"Okay, you know what?",3 14103,"Ew, that was on the floor.",4 14104,"No gift, it would become personal if I told you that just because you pass emission issue, it's because you're losing. A loser lazy and obnoxious.",4 14105,"Well, looks like someone's going out in the cold to get more ketchup.",1 14106,Amen.,0 14107,"No, Robin, it's just a bad cough. I'm not really a bad cough. We all know that the "roommate in college," it's you, ***** s! Nobody has a Strepsil?",3 14108,"Marshall Good God, do what you need to keep single until my return. I pay the bill, but do not abuse.",1 14109,"I said, "Nipple" on the news! That was so unprofessional! I said, "Nipple" on the news!",4 14110,You can't do that on television.,3 14111,"Dear genius relations, Stella has left you at the altar, you'll love me maybe more. And you will surely die alone. It's not so sad written in calligraphy.",1 14112,"Of course you feel that way, Lily. You and Marshall have basically melded into one big hermaphroditic blob. And that's fine for you guys. But some of us want a partner who challenges us to grow and evolve.",1 14113,"Man, you know something, Stuart's my new hero. If that dude can bag a nine, I gotta be able to bag like a sixteen.",0 14114,"Ro, don't let Marshall fall in love with this apartment.",4 14115,It's a great idea.,1 14116,"In your own words, describe what happened.",4 14117,You're wrong. I do care. And I'm still quitting.,1 14118,And now I'm e-mailing said picture to him.,0 14119,"Slim, Barney. I was really, really, really for both of you.Who wants chicken wings?",4 14120,Do not you remember?,3 14121,You got a mini pig?,2 14122,You have a voice mail from your dad?,2 14123,"(sitting behind the door) Ted's not here, Robin.",2 14124,"His funeral? It fell into the water, he emerged miraculously from his coma.",1 14125,"I'm really relieved because in reality, I am also far from being a married man can be. My stories with women you would shock and horrify you.",0 14126,Nothing too huge or-or poofy. I'm not really a girlie girl. But I would like to look like a beautiful princess.,2 14127,"First, it was spoiled. Then we shared a chocolate cake.Then, well, I did not used to join the discussions of changing rooms, but I made her a foot massage... rather sensual.",1 14128,"Because the FBI wanted to be occupied while they searched his home. Come on, Marshall. I need history. It has everything. Crime, monkeys, no stupid model of the Empire State Building, which takes me all my living room and smelly glue everywhere. Go. Do this for me... As a friend?",4 14129,Good.,0 14130,Do not worry. I will say nothing to Marshall.,4 14131,You were in this video? The guy with the tan of a farmer?,1 14132,"Oh, this is great. It wasn't Ted. Everything's okay.",2 14133,"I went down there and checked her out for myself. Yeah. And while I was down there, I discovered that she had a secret, a terrible... terrible secret.",0 14134,"Lily, at our apartment, you're the one who pees on the floor.",3 14135,"Hi, Dad.",4 14136,"(On Phone) Marshall, don't come to Philly.",1 14137,Have a great night.,4 14138,"Professor Lewis, hi.",3 14139,"Oh, come on, Lily. Nobody stays friends with their high school friends.",3 14140,"No, not the end of history. I need to know who, what, when and where. Balance!",2 14141,So what's the annoucement?,4 14142,It is said that it was after 40 years we know each other really.,0 14143,"Wait, wait. Who is the fifth ticket?",2 14144,"I hate change, but take us brushettes and fresh mozzarella. Grazie.",1 14145,"Yeah, she's like the best girl you've dated in years.",3 14146,Say it.,4 14147,It's graduation goggles.,4 14148,Go ahead.,1 14149,"Yeah, you know what's probably the best part about your honesty? How truthful it is.",1 14150,Can you promise me to present it so that I am not ridiculous to myself as*ault by a monkey?,3 14151,Barney stops eating your fingers.,2 14152,"Yeah, I invited him to brunch. Why? Is that weird?",3 14153,Me too.,2 14154,"That's great, Ted.",2 14155,"I wasn't in love with her, okay? I was briefly in love with the abstract idea of getting married! That had absolutely nothing to do with Robin. (Finds Lily and Robin chatting at a table.) Robin!",1 14156,"Thanks, guys. Just need a minute. Sort of a big life decision. Love the blue instruments, though. Kind of an inside joke. Thanks. (The musicians leave) You're crazy.",4 14157,"No, we're not letting you gamble all our money away.",4 14158,"Lily, I have pounded three cappuccinos waiting for you. Pretty soon I won't have to shave, the hair is going to vibrate off my legs.",4 14159,Do you want these? (Holding up remaining olives from her plate) I hate olives.,4 14160,"(annoyed) I don't know what kind of architect? Houses, buildings, that kind of crap.",2 14161,Affirmatootly.,3 14162,"Oh, you don't want my opinion on that.",0 14163,"I'm not happy. Finally, I would be. Nothing would make me happier than to be happy, but... I'm not.",0 14164,"I thought you said your semester was gonna be a piece of cake. I remember because you were eating a piece of cake at the time and you said, "dude, my semester is gonna be this."",1 14165,Can we please get back together?,2 14166,That's right now.,4 14167,"So we're in the kitchen, starting on the pies, and we realize, we don't have a damn thing to say to each other.",1 14168,"MacLaren's Bar, four years ago...",1 14169,"Congratulations, Marshall. We live in an apartment with swords on the wall.",1 14170,"I think she wants to make sure we are serious first, that's why she hasn't introduced me to her daughter either. She wants to take things slow.",1 14171,What kind of guy? A cheesy guy or a cool guy?,1 14172,There are no women for me out there? I thought you said there were 8.,1 14173,"So, is this how we're deciding who gets the apartment?",1 14174,"All my least favorite students have been boys. So I Googled "how to make a girl some really weird stuff came up but finally, I found this conception Web site that said you should point south at the moment of conception... eat a lemon......and heat up your lady parts to a balmy 105 degrees. (blow-dryer whooshing) Ooh... ah... Oh, that's not bad.",2 14175,"I don't need to go to a heart doctor. I drink every day, I sleep three hours every night, and I have multiple sex partners. I'm doing everything right.",0 14176,"Sure, there's plenty of room in the woods.",2 14177,For real.,2 14178,Loves them.,1 14179,"I can't give this suit back. Ted, I glow in the dark. I finally glow in the dark!",0 14180,Two blocks from her mother's hairdresser.,1 14181,And then it got ugly.,4 14182,"In other words, one-eighth the size of Canada. So...",4 14183,"Ah, this'll be nice, the three of us living together. I think it's a good setup.",1 14184,I will in... five...,0 14185,I can not choose. They are both extraordinary.,1 14186,"Yes, it is épousvantable. What has happened?",0 14187,"Hi. Can I see a menu, please? No rush.",0 14188,Cite me one.,3 14189,"Wait, I don't understand, people get married in Atlantic City all the time.",1 14190,No.,2 14191,"Mr. Druthers, thank you again for understanding about Lily.",1 14192,"No, it's because of the...",3 14193,You're right I know. Hey do you wanna get some coffee and have an actual conversation?,2 14194,"Yeah. Well, it's getting late. I should get back to my room.",1 14195,I would probably get married.,1 14196,"Yes, it could be a problem.",1 14197,Of course I do.,1 14198,"Lily, let's be honest. We know both your motives. You hate Karen because she lingered.",1 14199,Say I'm right and this could all be over. This could be your call from the hospital.,0 14200,Simple. I rented the chair. The bunny was here already. That was lucky. I waited to do the dramatic swivel until I heard your key enter the door.,0 14201,"Ted, Walter's been to three shelter dinners. You know where he hasn't been? To heaven with Samantha. Look, it's the one chance you've had all day to help someone in need. Now buy this man a lap dance.",0 14202,That's not true?,2 14203,Ha ha. Delightful. How is that little project coming along anyway?,1 14204,"Because you're pathetic! I'm sorry. But right now, you are not Marshall. You are the miserable, whining, shampoo-sniffing ghost of Marshall and frankly, a guy like you doesn't have a sh*t in hell with a girl like Lily. You know who might have a sh*t somewhere down the line? Marshall. The real Marshall. But if you go down there now like this, you'll blow it for him and he's never gonna forgive you. Of course, whatever I say, you just will do the opposite so, have a great weekend, good luck screwing up your life. Come on, Robin... Is it still OK if we borrow the car?",1 14205,Hello.,1 14206,"Come on, those calls weren't that weird.",1 14207,"Oh, no.",1 14208,There was no second rule.,2 14209,"Don't say you're going to k*ll someone in front of airport security, not cool. (To security) Not cool.",0 14210,Robin!,2 14211,"Wow. You sent a wang out, and you got a wang back.",4 14212,"Deal. Come on, come on.",2 14213,"Oh, Ted, I'm so sorry.",2 14214,"Well, maybe they should have moved that part up a little bit earlier, 'cause... You know what, um... What I'm trying to say is... I love being the person you bitch to. So how was your day, Mr. Architect?",4 14215,"Okay, guys, that's starting to hurt.",1 14216,Yeah. We heard. I would explode if it had been that long since I had a "night out".,2 14217,"I think you will recognize. I will throw your body anyway. I will throw your body into Canada Day! Dude, you can split the screen. We know the words.",3 14218,I say nothing.,4 14219,I do not laugh. It is a restaurant 24h/24. I will stay forever if necessary. And I will. Just water for me please.,0 14220,Ready? What is the difference between jam and Nutella? (Marshall laughs) It's funny.,0 14221,"OK, enough! I can not believe you hast slept with my sister!",1 14222,Are you really gonna do that? That's so immature. Marshall: You can be Slap Bet Commissioner.,2 14223,"No, you pent-up old perv. I brought you a present. Recognize this?",0 14224,"Ted, Ted, Ted, guy in the hat! Three stripes, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ted Mosby, p*rn star.",0 14225,Are you trying to get me drunk?,1 14226,I love the work you do.,3 14227,"Wow, that sounds awesome.",4 14228,"Well, this guy has flaked out on your whole life. It sounds like he just might be telling you what you want to hear.",1 14229,"And the fertilizer is seeping into the ground water, causing...",4 14230,That was not funny.,1 14231,I'm pregnant.,4 14232,Zero right! We're not getting too old for anything.,0 14233,Diff'rent Strokes.,0 14234,"Hey! How was your day? Don't answer. No time. Bedroom. No, no. No time. Floor. No, no time. Against this wall!",3 14235,"Ted, where were you?",2 14236,"That sucks, but I can do what? I will not have another job. You would have seen other women in the interview. They were all more experienced, more "ethnic". There was a black girl with blue eyes. How can I compete?",4 14237,"And then I told him everything. It came out at once. And in the end, she said...",4 14238,"You're right. A cervical neck brace! Thank you, Lil. I should have to talk to you soon. I trained all day with these crutches and one who has left in my hall is likely to need it.",0 14239,Which means Jessica got pregnant five years ago. Right around the time she and Robin stopped being friends.,1 14240,Ow!,1 14241,I'm proud of him. It takes a lot of Pringles to be as vulnerable.,3 14242,And like the majestic seahorse it's hermaphroditic.,3 14243,That was awesome.,3 14244,"And then I want to... you to take me on the couch."Maybe not a sick father. Father or a really sick... Right? Sorry.,4 14245,"Dinner, it's a baby!",2 14246,Big board!,1 14247,Minne-Cider! Get it?,3 14248,And it has everything... heard. So Phil told me that Ro-Ro and Barnstormer argue... a lot. Explanations?,1 14249,"So guess what I did to that sandwich? Here, I took a picture.",0 14250,And it has,3 14251,You're a terrible couple. Lily has taken all the man out of you. I used to think that's just every relationship. But what I've got with Robin proves that you can have a girlfriend and fully functioning male genitalia all at the same time.,0 14252,You set me on fire.,1 14253,"Yeah, your nose is bleeding like a faucet.",4 14254,Why do they call it karaoke anyhow? Was it invented by a woman named Carrie Okie? These are the kinds of things I think about. Trudy: Karaoke is Japanese for empty orchestra.,1 14255,"Actually, you'll Sports-man. We have already Simulates-man.",0 14256,"Yeah, that would be a good place for it. Too bad the swords are there. We kinda love those swords.",1 14257,"I've never ridden the tricycle. I was on the verge last year, it was so close.",0 14258,"Yeah, let's flip a coin.",1 14259,"Hey, guys, this is Nora.",0 14260,Styrofoam trees!,1 14261,"Um, Marshall, your mom asked me to carry this up. She turned her ankle on your Hot Wheels. Is my track okay? It's fine, but, Marshall, I thought you were here taking care of your mom. It seems like she's taking care of you.",2 14262,What? Why me?,1 14263,"Please, no scene.",3 14264,"But, uh... if you had to summarize your book in less than 30 words...",4 14265,I have to check my tuxedo.,3 14266,"Oh, my God. This is...",4 14267,It's simple.,2 14268,"Yes Jamie, she is very pretty. We can now finish the course. Betty?",1 14269,You look like the classiest and most expensive of all prostitutes.,1 14270,Right? Right?,3 14271,"Who wants to go to the same old bar, sit at the same place and drink the same thing? The same thing! My favorite!",1 14272,You know what? Let her.,3 14273,I need you to come up to Duchess County and pick me up.,1 14274,Folliculaphilia.,0 14275,"Okay, I'm ready to have sex now.",4 14276,Gonna?,2 14277,"Okay, look, mistake number 1 was taking that girl's question. You don't take questions on the first day. It shows weakness. Mistake number 2 was you should've hit that. Dude, your pants were already off, you had a classroom full of people to cheer you on, and you can't knock her up 'cause it's a dream. Class dismissed.",0 14278,It's the goat jumped on me! Can I go?,1 14279,"Um, if a problem arises and we need a ruling, that's your job. Barney: But you have to be unbiased and put the integrity of slap bet above all else. This is an honor you will take with you to your grave. On your tombstone, it will read "Lily Aldrin, caring wife, loving friend, Slap Bet Commissioner."",3 14280,"Hey, now that you're a mom, are you gonna start wearing those totally awesome jeans that go right up to your boobs?",3 14281,"Come on, guys. You are four young people active in the most exciting city in the world. And you have nothing to tell me?",4 14282,You see? You need something. Youtube-like man.,0 14283,"Because you get up in your head, man. Start thinking, I can't do this. It's two women. That's two of everything, four of some things. The logistics alone are enough to cripple even a pro like me.",0 14284,Something bad.,2 14285,Did it hurt?,2 14286,Ted! How could you do that?! Robin has just released his period of mourning!,3 14287,And I espionnerai. And shit!,2 14288,"Yeah, well, I want to hang out with Crazy Jerry, not Stay-at-Home Jerome.",0 14289,"There he is, gentlemen. Rib Town. Is it not? Is it not?",1 14290,"Yeah, you know why all the circuits are jammed because everyone's calling their loved ones, everyone around the world. Everyone except Barney. Oh, sure, laugh. Laugh for Barney Stinson. Laugh for the sad clown trapped on his whirling carousel of suits and cigars and bimbos and booze. Round and round it goes. And where's it all heading? Nowhere.",0 14291,I haven't worked since March.,3 14292,"I'm not trying to make Robin jealous, Barney. Look, I... tell Mary, thanks, but no thanks. I have a soul.",1 14293,You're an animal!,1 14294,I promise.,0 14295,"It made me always feel guilty. But if Gazeur... Michael...came now, as hard as it may be, I would go to Gazeur...Michael... and I should settle things between us.",2 14296,"Hello, Claire. I am Lieutenant Frank Lyman. I train dolphins b*mb detectors for... You know what? I can not do that.Robin, I'm sorry. I think this break is harder for me than expected.The Book of roles was just a way to change my mind.",0 14297,Where's the fuse box?,3 14298,"Oh, uh, sure.",4 14299,"Not the movie, the book.",3 14300,"Come on, Ted. Why he would invent something like that?",0 14301,"Dude! I worked really hard on these slides, okay? Can we just...",1 14302,You're gonna be a father? How will it happen?,1 14303,Oh. A little cold.,1 14304,"Actually, I can't even get myself in. I was such a dork. I get recognized one time and I start thinking I'm Julia Roberts. No VIP. I'm not even an IP. I'm just a lonely little P sitting out here in the gutter.",4 14305,What? Of course not! She had to be found in the laundry.,1 14306,I should give her a call.,0 14307,(to the 1st one) Wanna marry my friend Ted? (to the 2nd one) Wanna marry my friend Ted? (to the 3d one) Wanna marry my friend Ted?,3 14308,"Yeah, you were acting so weird about it, I gave you Ted's graduation tape instead. So, should we pop it in?",2 14309,They are perfect together.,2 14310,Whore posting!,2 14311,"Seriously, Ted is fine? I mean, I know that the weekend was hard, but hey... it's weird radio silence.",2 14312,"That's the spirit. Now, ladies, slut up!",0 14313,It's for sure!,4 14314,"Let's do it! Uh-huh, got it. Okay, that seems easy.",2 14315,"What someone looks, please.",4 14316,Absolutely.,3 14317,It is what color?,3 14318,"Fine, then I'll try to work in a little light spanking. Just do this for me.",1 14319,Glad you asked.,0 14320,And Oprah has tried everything?,2 14321,Keep smiling. He can still see us.,1 14322,You take the barrel.,2 14323,"Bye, Pop.",3 14324,I have big news!,0 14325,Just because you were right doesn't mean I'm wrong.,0 14326,What does it say? Lily: I'm afraid to look.,3 14327,You just gotta find a way to make you absolutely critical.,0 14328,Flip it.,3 14329,Is that who I think it is?,3 14330,Really? That's why he tries to Lebron anything that moves?,4 14331,Unpause?,2 14332,Do you mind giving my friend your phone number?,0 14333,This is ridiculous!,1 14334,Did she love it?,4 14335,Ted gave me your spare key.,2 14336,What?,1 14337,"Barney, I really don't think this is gonna help.",3 14338,"So, he explained everything and once finished, there was something fascinating.",3 14339,"Actually, there's maybe something you can do for me. But you can never ever ask me why.",3 14340,"I've got a situation. Trudy is here, you know, the pineapple incident.",1 14341,"Dude, you've been trying for two months, not two years. That's nothing.",1 14342,"No, Lily you're crying over the crown moulding and the real hardwood floor. There's no deeper meaning, right Lily? Just quit crying and tell him.",4 14343,"Alright, so you guys are in. Should I invite Marshall and Lily?",4 14344,"That's a goddess! Her skin glows. Her legs are super long.And that ass? I do not mind having it, even on the head! That night, I admit, I thought about it a little more than once.",2 14345,What Gazzola's?,4 14346,"I should go listen to this... alone, okay? I'll be back.",3 14347,""Okay" is the name of a club. Yeah, it's supposed to be incredibly exclusive. This friend of mine once waited outside for two hours, he couldn't get in.",0 14348,You know what? I hope those underwater aliens are cold-blooded. 'cause then you guys will get along just fine.,3 14349,"Marshall, can we keep the goat?",2 14350,The number of nude photos that he has done before you realize he had no connection to Vogue.,0 14351,That is a real slap in the face.,3 14352,Wait. Is that why you slept on the couch last night?,4 14353,"Every time we step out the door, they're out there waiting for us. Sometimes, we'll send Ted out first as a scout. Nobody's there. Then we'll go out one second later, and there they are.",2 14354,Yeah! It's like being in a candy store. You just walk right in and grab yourself some Whoppers. Yeah. Is Whoppers the best ones?,0 14355,I knew it! I knew you were too cute and perfect!,1 14356,You have anything like Scotch?,0 14357,Right. What?,3 14358,He said no?,3 14359,"Well, that's just what Minnesota guys are like... strong, silent, you know, man's man.",4 14360,What do you think of this tie?,0 14361,Wow it must be really well cornered off over there. You ever go behind the rope and touch it?,0 14362,Our parents really want to meet you!,2 14363,Is that okay?,4 14364,"Robin did not use the super secret signal. We put the old menu on the handle. This restaurant had to close. Mr. Popol...No need to explain why it's funny. I'm off. When leaving, take the pillow with you. This is a waste now.",1 14365,They're not bimbos!,4 14366,I met a girl last night.,0 14367,"You don't bring a date to a wedding. That's like bringing a deer carcass on a hunting trip. Oh Ted, oh Ted, no, no date.",0 14368,"Gremlins. Rule number 1. Never get them wet. In otherords, don't let her take a shower at your place. Number 2. Keep them away from sunlight. I.E. Don't ever see them",0 14369,Did you just need to get out. Take a walk. Pay yourself a bagel.,4 14370,Give me that.,0 14371,You told to go and see Anita Barney? How you know her?,2 14372,"Good night, Ted.",2 14373,"Okay, when Stripper Lily gets out here, you have my permission to fantasize about her. And since she's basically me, maybe you won't feel guilty.",2 14374,I slept with 200 women.,0 14375,"Thanks a lot, buddy.",3 14376,"Nothing. How was your day? Oh, goat turd on the floor,I see. Is that new?",3 14377,The addicts who have not sold their TV?,1 14378,"Great, I'm late for my presentation. Thank you, Mr. Goat.",1 14379,"Oh, but when we tell the story, can you leave out the part where I hesitate?",1 14380,You love that move. It's a classic Marshall.,3 14381,We're at a fundraiser helping young women raise money for college.,0 14382,"Stack we make love, we order a pizza face and it stays there to moan.",0 14383,"Oh, hey, hey, how's it going?",3 14384,The taxi is here.,4 14385,I thought he's never go to sleep.,4 14386,"I don't even recognize her. I don't remember you. I've spent the last two days trying to remember every girl that I've slept with and all the horrible things that I have done to them. And I have done some horrible things. I mean, at one point, I'm pretty sure I sold a woman. I didn't speak the language, but I shook a guy's hand, he gave me the keys to a Mercedes, and I left her there. I'm the guy who keeps a scrapbook of all of the women I have slept with, but I never thought I was the guy who would sleep with a girl and not even remember her. So from the bottom of my heart, for whatever I did to you, I apologize.",0 14387,There's a side admirable in its way to remain young.Who wants to be old?,4 14388,It is a slap bet?,3 14389,And that's how the role of Tyler went to... Grant.,0 14390,"Oh, that's real mature.",3 14391,"Ted, his name is Mitch. And... this is my boyfriend. So...",4 14392,For it is the love of your life.,3 14393,"Look, I would love to have a second date, I would. But I understand that you really don't have time right now, but if you ever do, will you give me a call?",1 14394,I'm so glad none of those girls were right for you.,2 14395,"Sorry, a "Bingo party student"?",1 14396,I forgot my pants.,3 14397,"Well, that explains a few voicemails. Listen, Zoey, I think we can save The Arcadian. No. Maybe not in the way you were picturing, but I stayed up all night working on a new concept, all right? What if my design could incorporate The Arcadian's facade into the new GNB headquarters?",1 14398,"Guys, guys, guys. When you've had the best burger in NY, every other burger tastes like my grandpa's feet. But you guys eat up, enjoy my grandpa's feet.",3 14399,"You take this one, I'll save it for the next one.",2 14400,"No, I didn't feel like you needed me at all.",0 14401,Do you know what I had to do to get you that job?,0 14402,"Please, go ahead, start.",4 14403,"No, I didn't know...",1 14404,"Ted, this hydro bill is bigger than Louis Cyr's biceps. What, you leave the garburator on all night, eh?",4 14405,I have a voice mail from my dad.,3 14406,Here we go.,4 14407,What...,1 14408,"Hey, listen. I need your opinion on something.",1 14409,"Hey, Penelope, you sure I'm doing this right?",1 14410,The bagpipe seems different today. There was an echo.,3 14411,Why do you...,4 14412,"You sure? Ok, do as you like. What time is it?",3 14413,"Here, you need a mint.",0 14414,"I just got off the phone with the Realtor. We told her that, uh, because of our finances, we're not getting the place. It's just --it's not the right time.",3 14415,What?,3 14416,"Wow, you sound really lonely.",0 14417,"They are always in contact. I had his number on the mobile Robin. Seriously... amateurs. (She plunges into the scene) So, Alan Thicke stimulus battle USA / Canada. Just then, Meg-the-crazy happens. Then, a stormtrooper happening in the street.And just when they are tired, a diver passes with a basin full of what? Dirty dishes.",2 14418,You know what? We get it.,3 14419,Tell me what? Tell me what?,2 14420,They need a finger to do what I think.,4 14421,"Lily, in my travels, I've developed a finely calibrated sense of how long it's been since... How do I not put this delicately?... a girl's been porked. And, boo, you've been pork-free so long, you're practically kosher.",0 14422,"Aww. You've got a little crush on Wang Guy, don't you?",2 14423,Again? Really? Wait...,0 14424,You re-returned for me. That's really sweet. Though you kind of ruined my customized Scherbotsky doormat.,4 14425,"Should we go to my room? I mean, there's five dogs in there, but...",4 14426,(To Yasmine) you wanna go out sometime?,1 14427,""Curiosity," style, "Me have always wondered how to do this is with a great girl." Big guy not a girl, just great. Like...if a normal girl was 2.10 m, 2.25 m high, and... wearing a mini denim skirt. I wonder how it is.",0 14428,"Yes, you will. (Girls leave. To Ted) Follow them, tickets on me.",0 14429,I want you to stay.,1 14430,"In addition, Alan.",4 14431,I want you back!,1 14432,(smiles) to the future!,2 14433,"Concentrate on the letter, ok? At Ted, Robin is the ideal girl for you, but she will not engage. You need someone who wants to settle. So, until Robin is ready for this, it is not for you. I still remember stealing the blue French horn, our first kiss, her eyes when she told me she loved me. And shit. I want it back.",1 14434,She will not like it.,3 14435,"All right, we totally suck at this. We really, really need to get out of here.",2 14436,"Okay, I'm going to stop you right there, because it seems like you're about to say something that's going to pretty much ruin Vegas.",0 14437,"Wanna bet? (They get up) Follow my lead. (To doorman) Hey, big guy. (Flashes doorman, geeks watching.) I said follow my lead.",2 14438,"Yeah, Victoria, way to step up!",3 14439,"No, they won't. They're going to think... Wait. "Everyone"?",1 14440,"I will say out loud something that I had managed not to say out loud. Have you, Tony and you... That at one point I thought I had with you... I know that Marshall and Lily... I want that. I want to. I keep waiting and waiting for that to happen and... I guess I'm just... tired of waiting. And that's all I have to say about it.",1 14441,Robin... LeBron.,1 14442,Then I guess it's not meant to be.,1 14443,"Well, it could be anyone. And thin, I had forgotten this story Biercules.Who made this site first?",2 14444,What a sad commentary on our national attention span that we could forget such a turbulent time in our political history.,3 14445,"Come on, I'm hungry.",4 14446,"And since, in every mail we receive, the picture becomes clearer. But we know not how it looks. I will follow it as always...",1 14447,"You know, Lily and I was looking for a new couple of friends since we lost Robin and Barney, and Ted and Stella and Ted and Robin, and Ted... Ted and Victoria, when do you arrive to keep one?",3 14448,"oh, no, this doesn't count.",1 14449,"Okay. Here we go. This is the big number that's supposed to impress me and... (He looks at the paper) whoa, that's a BIG number.",3 14450,"What does your paintball on your personality? ",1 14451,"Three! You got Autobiography. Now, that's where you have to answer a personal question about your dating life truthfully in order to move on.",3 14452,"Do not change, baby. I find it pure. Pure. (Marshall gets up to the counter) Mashed mother of God is a moron sometimes. He lent them money to refuel.",2 14453,Absolutely. (Barney out of the apartment),0 14454,"Robin, I will have to borrow the butt of your g*n.",2 14455,Sure. But... no one move while I'm gone. (whispering): I'm scared.,0 14456,"You are hearing this secret, Marshall. I... I slept... (Marshall covers his ears with his hands and starts singing) Stop..stop doing that. (Barney throws a bowling ball at him, Marshall catches it) I slept... I slept with Robin.",0 14457,How was the trip?,1 14458,"Great! OK, the important question: What will your pose "naked guy"?",0 14459,Are you hungry?,1 14460,"(little boy voice) Hey, want to have a three-way with me and my imaginary friend? His name's Otis. Hey, hey, want to come to my house and play telephone? I got the string; you got the cans. (giggles) I wet myself! Will you change me? Can't blame her on that one. Guys... I have some terrible, terrible news. I, Barney Stinson, can't pick up a girl whilst talking like a little boy. Challenge forfeited.",0 14461,We change the plan for Saturday. Evening Marissa Heller for alcohol and Robots vs. Wrestlers. But one of us should pretend to Marissa Heller.,0 14462,You thinking about coming to work here full-time?,0 14463,Don't knock long-distance relationships. I really think they can work.,0 14464,"...Zero... (Cell phone chimes) Woops. Hold on a second. Wait. They're not doing something meaningful with their lives. Well, this changes everything. Oh, no, I've already written four zeroes. Thank you, decimal point. One hundred dollars.",0 14465,"You're right, it counts. It counts as one. You've had sex once. How was it? Marshall: I still matter.",1 14466,Nothing! I just forgot to brag about it before!,0 14467,Hi.,1 14468,Since I was little...,4 14469,I can't believe we just... You and I... What have we done?,0 14470,Do you watch the Jets game?,1 14471,"Uh, Barney, you got a little marinara on your pajamas.",1 14472,Lily is a teacher. Hence the "students".,1 14473,"Squirrels don't get married, Marshall.",2 14474,"Hey, Marshall, it's me. Listen, I know I've been kind of a jerk about your leaving GNB. I just wanted to call and say I'm sorry. No apologies necessary. We're good. Good. Um, hey, any chance you might maybe... I don't know... if you're not busy, uh, want to have lunch today?",0 14475,You worry about me?,1 14476,Bring out Stripper Lily!,2 14477,I know what kind of plane this is. It's a "boing".,4 14478,"Damn it, Hordichuk! You miss another gimme like that, I'm gonna come down there and put a slapper right up your beerhole! Come on!",4 14479,"If being at home with a baby, tonight we have never seen a dead ringer for Ted. It would make you what, if we had missed it?",2 14480,Why did we think that guy was Moby?,0 14481,"Come on, Robin, trot our your new fella. Let us judge and evaluate him behind your back. It'll be fun.",2 14482,"You have the eye to notice such details, Jim Nantz.",0 14483,"And now I feel better than ever. It sounds crazy, but I think that I am attached to this girl.",1 14484,You're not going to that show tonight!,2 14485,"um, well, we actually have tickets...",2 14486,How quickly you all forget. I haven't puked since high school. I am vomit-free since ninety-three. Vomit free since ninety-three. That's funny. I'm funny.,1 14487,"Good time to get into print media. Am I right, Dad?",0 14488,"Oh, you were so right about the roof. The roof. The roof is on fire, Ted! Girl from last night, took her back to my place then this morning took her outside, spun her around a couple of times sent her walking-she will never find her way back and there she is. How did she get here? Did you invite her?",0 14489,"Okay, fine. On one condition. You have to promise me you won't lie to Nora. She seems like something special.",2 14490,There's no such thing as the signal. But yeah-that was the signal.,0 14491,"Ted, I don't understand why you can't...",4 14492,"It's just a button. Can we talk about something else, please? (Barney sees Norah, Robin says something to him that we can"t hear, then Barney walks up to Norah) Norah.",0 14493,You were the only boyfriend I ever motorboated.,4 14494,Onions?,0 14495,So you really believe that if we were in an open marriage that you would do better than me?,3 14496,"Definitely. Hey, we just agreed on something.",3 14497,"Yeah, Ted, I hate to tell you, but the bourbon only makes it sound good to you.",2 14498,Go for Barney.,0 14499,"(Unbuttoning sweater) No, this place is great (positions mouth in an inviting kiss position)",2 14500,She took to win.,3 14501,But I thought you liked being challenged.,2 14502,The Thinker?,1 14503,"Oh, she only bought him a one-way ticket!",4 14504,"See, it's hard to hit that delete button, isn't it?",4 14505,On the great grandmother.,0 14506,"Well, actually, Marshall and I have this little dance routine.",2 14507,You know it.,3 14508,"If you watch this tape, and I knew it... is that you are in possession of all my p*rn. It can only mean two things, either I'm dead or I'm in a committed relationship. If I died, I want you honor my memory by taking my body in the Hamptons and recreating Weekend at Bernie. I want to dance. I want to make love. And I want to go fishing. If, on the other hand, I'm in a relationship, as best friend, I have one favor to ask. Please, for God's sake, get me out of here!",0 14509,"Okay. Hey, what was it you were saying before about the guy with the butterfly tattoo?",3 14510,"Totally her idea! But, I don't know, I'm really into this girl, and if going slow is what it takes to make this happen, I say bring it on.",1 14511,"I don't know, we used to be even more nauseatingly into each other than Ted and Victoria. Now look at us.",2 14512,"You're right. A cervical neck brace! Thank you, Lil. I should have to talk to you soon. I trained all day with these crutches and one who has left in my hall is likely to need it.",0 14513,"What? Oh, no, that was Ted. He's just a friend. I mean, there was this moment where we almost dated, but we want completely different things. Anyway, now he has this girlfriend in Germany and he thinks she's calling to dump him tonight, but I don't think she is. And besides, we want completely different things.",4 14514,I wanted to see Avatar.,3 14515,Wait... Ted doesn't like that girl?,0 14516,And it begins.,0 14517,This is stupid.,3 14518,"Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I was all like, "He knows a woman's body better than she knows her own, endless waves of pleasure just cresting and breaking for hours and hours..." Blah, blah, blah. "Orgasms so intense that you just black out." All that stuff.",4 14519,You really need to talk to Don.,1 14520,"Well, I'm starting. Bryan Adams. He collects baseball cards and he wanted to make you... an oily Kayak.",2 14521,Mm. What's your secret?,3 14522,"Oh, you didn't hear? She's the office slut.",1 14523,"Um, it's my favorite.",4 14524,What happened to you?,2 14525,"That's right, girls.",0 14526,Sandwiches make me hungry.,3 14527,"...When dealing with a bully, the most important thing is to be constructive and positive.",2 14528,So it's not a circle.,4 14529,Oh.,3 14530,"No, no. But you keep it in your phone because it reminds you of a version of yourself that you could be, even if it's a version of yourself that you'll never become. And that's okay.",4 14531,I know. I just said that you had the sniffles. No one is picturing anything but little red-nosed you under a blankie with some hot tea.,3 14532,"Wait, you can do that?",0 14533,It did not last long.,3 14534,G-CWOK-approved.,1 14535,"No, my wife will give birth! I have a sausage with your name!",0 14536,I'm more about the project.,1 14537,"yes, yes, enjoy these final moments of mockery because in just ten surprisingly expensive sessions, Stella is gonna zap that butterfly right off the face of my lower back.",1 14538,We need advice.,0 14539,The board of the Fed voted not to change the... rates.,4 14540,"Dr. John Stangel? I don't know, baby, do we really need a specialist?",3 14541,How much longer do you think you can hold it?,3 14542,Transformatation.,4 14543,"What? It's crazy. Usually, you see clearly in my game, but there you are mistaken.",4 14544,Wait... What did you just say?,3 14545,"Lily, we have to relax. There's no need to panic. True, there's a lot to do, but we've got nine months to prepare. So I say that we just make a list of everything that needs to get done before the baby arrives and do everything on that list tonight!",3 14546,Well...,0 14547,"Sharing a brandy. Which is what I walked in on my parents doing once. Brandy was my father's mistress. God, parents. Right?",4 14548,Bowl?

phone chimes) I didn't mean to upset you. It's Becky. Aw, she's trapped in a revolving door.",1 14659,"Oh, let's go celebrate.",2 14660,"A fight was not a good idea, actually. And that's my story.",1 14661,"Yeah, but there's a lot of things I've always wanted, and I haven't done any of them. I'm sorry. I just need to do this before settling down forever.",2 14662,He and that little stuffed horsey raised all kinds of hell. But I have a simple method for shutting down troublemakers. You know that '98 Taurus that's always parked outside? The one with the really annoying alarm?,2 14663,"No, I don't. I mean, I know I said I did, but that's only because I fell for the same creepy, pickup artist voodoo of yours that countless women...",1 14664,You can... just look at your mug.,4 14665,"It could happen. And so really, what's it gonna matter in 50 years if I jump the g*n by one night? Look, I-I know this is a moral gray area, but... It's Robin. And I'm exhausted. I am. I'm exhausted from pretending I'm not in love with her. I think that makes this okay.",1 14666,What's happening? What is this window?,4 14667,"Oh, so you finally agreed on a name?",2 14668,Is it here? Tell me!,1 14669,"Yes, but these girls they sleep with Van Halen after?",1 14670,"Make him whip the habit! I'so excited about this whip! I got whip fever! Just whip him, Ted! Don't even aim! Just whip him!

(Mouse squeaking) Aaaaaah!",2 14677,Give him his ball back right now. People are going to get fired.,1 14678,"You didn't do it. You did it. You did it, didn't you? Did you?",0 14679,We're home on earth!,2 14680,"Yeah, we'll walk across the Brooklyn Bridge.",1 14681,Dr. X.,3 14682,"Marshall, you can avoid the attack today?",2 14683,Crusts cut off.,1 14684,"My God, it was for Stella.",1 14685,Your brain is too predictable associations.,3 14686,It is impossible that you're doing this to me again.,3 14687,So where were we?,0 14688,"You see? This is amateur work. Believe me, the child stars had better possession in the 80s.",0 14689,Please stop. I gotta call Claudia. If I just explain to her...,1 14690,"Ted, you know that I hate her. How could you go out on a date with this girl?",4 14691,"I'm sorry, ted!",3 14692,Thank you.,4 14693,"Owl. The girls with a name ending in LY are dirty.Holly, Kelly, Carly, Lily.",0 14694,Your team lost 20 minutes ago.,0 14695,Watch out!,2 14696,"Sorry, I can't leave now.",2 14697,"Oh, I don't know how we know Barney. How does anyone know how they know anyone? I like your pretty hair, help me.",2 14698,Whew!,0 14699,You know I'm curious. What do you say to these girls to get them to come home with you?,4 14700,Wait. I do not know. Yours had better be really good.,0 14701,"Wow, Roger Daltrey just rolled over in his grave. That's not the right guy, is it? He's not even dead, is he?",4 14702,You're a good friend Ted.,3 14703,I didn't. You followed me up here.,1 14704,"I have no idea how to raise a daughter! What if she makes bad choices? I mean, what if she winds up dating some... Oh, God.",3 14705,Which of these girls look the most stupid?,0 14706,Liking video games?,1 14707,She must have left. She...,2 14708,"Oh, no. No, she didn't.",1 14709,I will... the call.,0 14710,"No. Perhaps. Ever. I know not. Listen... I just need to get rid of that idiot PJ. If Lily was there, she would know how to get rid of him.",0 14711,"Oh. Oh, no. I understand. It's fine. Yeah.",4 14712,"Okay, so I didn't wanna get a boyfriend level gift for a girl I was just about to break up with.",1 14713,"Aww, Ted that's so sweet. So you chickened out like the little bitch.",2 14714,"Because, that.",3 14715,Mounds.,1 14716,Are you sure?,1 14717,"Yeah, we do.",3 14718,What?,0 14719,Funny. Every year my mother took tea with her friend Easter Bell. Not so funny.,4 14720,Do you know Marshall? Lily?,0 14721,"Oh, once I am the soul man. There was this pretty girl who only go out with black.",0 14722,Hold on. (To Robin) Brad got him flowers. (They laugh) I'm sorry. It just got funny again. (Marshall hangs up),1 14723,I-I want to keep working at GNB.,3 14724,Thousands?,4 14725,You said you wanted my help.,1 14726,"31 years! I was happy, very happy, thinking that because I put a 28 year old daughter who has taken too much sun. People want to lie. Marshall, they need the lie, that's why, in my case, you've been mugged by a monkey. As far as I'm done with this plan 3. I am the best in the world!",0 14727,"Positive. They both want you bad. It's a clearance sale and you're the boots, baby.",2 14728,What...,1 14729,Step on it! Jerry...,0 14730,"No, I know how it was. It was awful. Ooh, you want to rent a movie tonight?",4 14731,What is that supposed to mean?,2 14732,You're going to get my boat?,0 14733,"Yeah, that was made out of silk, Ted.",4 14734,"It's not that I haven't thought about this. You know that I have, but let's look at this, okay? We only just started being friends again.",4 14735,Wow. Look at this place. I guess I'll have my pick of something old.,2 14736,"Okay, Robin, what you need is indeed something that buries a bone, but I'm not talking about a dog. I'm talking about a man.",3 14737,Sorry to interrupt but check it out.,4 14738,No.,2 14739,"Oh. Well, so can we see a judge?",2 14740,"Do not do it. It's scary to bet on itself, if you do not, nobody will. I'm not saying that to pat my fist. Even if a punch would be great. I mean it.",0 14741,Ann has...? Anna?,1 14742,And Miztva Bar next door.,4 14743,Yeah.,1 14744,"How does it feel, Marshall,to sit there, impotently... your large, flaccid hand,just dangling in the wind?",0 14745,"Thanks, Tracy.",0 14746,"Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm good. The best, really. But it's the greatest samurai who lets his sword rust in its scabbard.",0 14747,I just... reading a magazine. Here at work.,3 14748,Jen?,1 14749,Like what?,1 14750,You know what? You're an adult with perfectly valid opinions. You shouldn't have to apologize for them.,1 14751,3: They make you really want your business.,0 14752,"I know. Sometimes, honesty leads people to say bad things about the woman who always took care of me because I was the runt of the family. For God's sake, I'm just a 92 m!",3 14753,"Ok, this is crazy. You can not believe that New Jersey is better than New York. In New York, there was Broadway. No need to say more.",2 14754,Father issues. Hot.,0 14755,You guys are jerks!,3 14756,"Well, we know it's not Moby and it's not Tony.",0 14757,"Very, very far.",2 14758,"Come on, pick up. Damn it, Victoria, where are you? Pick up, pick up!",1 14759,Target secure.,2 14760,"And thoughtful. If the rules are so strict, you could put your work in.",2 14761,Wow. Weird.,4 14762,"Since you and Robin split, you've been gestating. Growing in your cocoon. And last night... you burst out of that cocoon..., like a majestic, uh... gosh, what is it that comes out of a cocoon? I was always bad at science.",0 14763,Member FDIC.,0 14764,"Wait, Mitch, I have to thank you. We all tried "The guy naked," tonight.",1 14765,"Rick Moranis, the Reverse Rich Moranis, of Jewish antiquities. I give up. It's been three days that I seek. I stop. If that means I could ever be.",2 14766,No.,4 14767,What? Why?,2 14768,Behind my ear.,3 14769,"Wait, wait, wait, she was sitting across from a couple of bridesmaids. She must have been at their table. Maybe they know who she was?",1 14770,That was on purpose!,2 14771,P'tain.,2 14772,"I have to face an ugly truth. Jerry Whittaker, my own father, is anti-awesome-etic. I know Crazy Jerry's still in there somewhere, but he's trapped under 20 years of lawnmower parties and carpool barbecues.",0 14773,"Hey, what's up?",2 14774,Pickles would have helped that sandwich!,3 14775,"Well, she's not alone. Whenever Marshall was acting too hyper, his mom would suddenly decide he was "sick" and give him cough medicine until he passed out.",2 14776,"Fine, sleep with your nurses. Tonight you ride the unicycle.",2 14777,What next?,3 14778,Bowl. Bowl.,1 14779,Where?,4 14780,Your job's not boring.,3 14781,"You know... Oh nah, never mind.",2 14782,"So, wait, not only have you not done any good for anyone today, you're actually helping someone steal from the homeless. You know, Ted, it's called Thanksgiving, not Thankstaking. Damn.",0 14783,Done. The painting's done.,2 14784,You know nothing of love. You're like a robot that someone would cry and say that... "Why this human leaking?",3 14785,"Really, you hide from anybody? Not even... Becca Delucci?",1 14786,You see? She has not bought the briefcase! It is responsible! And no chance that she slept with someone here.She turns the page.,2 14787,(drops the phone into a pitcher) Oops.,2 14788,"Hey. Tell us everything. How'd it go, bud?",1 14789,"This wouldn't work. Zoey, The Arcadian was a really great building once, but it's falling apart, and it's full of snakes.",1 14790,"You wanted to see me, Mr. Adams?",4 14791,"Oh, don't be gross.",2 14792,Except international waters. So let's find a ship captain. A ship captain can marry us. There's boats all over this place.,2 14793,"Oh, I use it all the time. First I buy her... and by her I mean you... a drink. Now, I'm the guy who gets her what she wants. Then I pretend to care about whatever idiotic thing she cares about. For you, that would be the enviroment. Now, I'm the great guy who shares her interests. And before you know it, you're naked in my apartment, shouting "oh-oh Bar-r-r-ne-e-y"! And by you, I mean her.",0 14794,I want to take this moment.,0 14795,Ted's only teaching Barney horrible things about me.,4 14796,You know what these pictures? A big lie. We ask. They are retouched. They are what you want but not the reality.,1 14797,"Okay, just try to proclaim your sound of the naked girl.",4 14798,"Hey, drunk legal dude, um... Have you seen Marshall Ericksen? He was with a guy named Ted.",4 14799,"I have no idea. Well, what do you take?",2 14800,You said you wanted to see the joy in someone's eyes.,4 14801,I don't want 'em now.,3 14802,"What are you going as? Oh, like I even have to ask.",2 14803,News from Dale?,1 14804,(to himself) But she didn't like Field of Dreams.,3 14805,"Oh, honey. Oh! Honey! Zoey's cousin.",3 14806,"Holy shit! f*cking. My father that I had never seen him cry in my life, wiped away a tear and said, "A small part of me just died, son. "",4 14807,And they're not even high.,3 14808,Hello.,4 14809,"You thought I was...Oh, I was just kidding. I gotta stop making jokes in e-mails. It's so hard to convey tone.",4 14810,For god's sake!,1 14811,"I went, uh, to the bar.",3 14812,Prem's.,1 14813,(laughs nervously) Twins. Twins!,2 14814,(sighs) me too.,4 14815,Ladies and Gentlemen... I... had dibs.,0 14816,Really?!,4 14817,"Oh, no, not this again.",4 14818,And then you throw the bodies of cans at pigeons.,0 14819,"It's easy for you to say that, you come to the family the most ridiculously close to the world.",2 14820,Robin's gonna dump me!,2 14821,"Yeah, it's you.",2 14822,Yeah. Showing videos of guys getting hit in the nuts wasn't going to do anything. I'm just stupid.,0 14823,Once. I was on medication!,1 14824,"Sorry, kids.",4 14825,"No. Actually, he was my first boyfriend.",4 14826,Listen. I want to be with you.,2 14827,You expect us to spend a whole day packing up your mom's house?,2 14828,"Wait, what is a P.T.E.?",1 14829,"It gives you false hope, but it does not engage with you, but it keeps you in the corner, just in case, like... an old canned chili in the pantry.",4 14830,That's not a real Web site.,1 14831,You slept with Robin.,1 14832,Not "Johnny." Or "Gil.",2 14833,"Oh, I know, sweetie. And since I'm a professional artist now, I'm going to sketch you an Aldrin original, you know, to say thanks for being such a supportive husband. I'm thinking about calling it... "Suck It!"",2 14834,"Not exactly the point I was trying to make, Marshall. That is a terrible way to break up with someone.",2 14835,The fortress of barnitude? No way.,0 14836,"Listen to this. Lily sent me a text message. It was at this bar, The Giddy Ups with full of Woos.",3 14837,"No, no.",0 14838,"Really, Lily? Even if I were to mention, oh, I don't know... your kindergarten class's pet guinea pig?",0 14839,"Thanksgiving in a strip club, who's in? The Lusty Leopard has a surprisingly good Thanksgiving buffet. Plus, they do this thing. Heather dresses up as a pilgrim and Misty dresses up as an Indian, and they share a meal.",0 14840,That my girl Michelle?,2 14841,"It made me wonder, "What could I have done to make him stay?"",0 14842,I'm calling Robin.,1 14843,And if we have not done?,1 14844,Weird day.,1 14845,I don't think you know what Spain is.,4 14846,I am not that kind of architect. So get this...,1 14847,A bed for sex. For hot sex and bestiality.,2 14848,"Okay, you know what? We'll all calm down. We do not need a g*n. I just want to forget what happened and continue to live my life.",3 14849,Barney gets three slaps.,2 14850,Okay... bye.,4 14851,Who would buy a can of chili for not eating it away?,2 14852,"Let me guess, you guys met in prison.",1 14853,And... hence new identities.,0 14854,"Hey, thanks for telling me to stand up to Druthers and pitch my idea. Seriously, none of this would have happened if it weren't for you.",1 14855,Air Hockey. Well done my fat.,0 14856,And it was Barney.,4 14857,"Oh, God. These brats have us completely surrounded. I counted nine, maybe ten. I'll lay down some cover fire, you make a run for it.",4 14858,Fine.,3 14859,Lily was mentally deranged.,1 14860,"Marshall, your mom wants you out of here.",2 14861,Let's go.,0 14862,Wow! I can't wait to see it.,1 14863,"But other than that, things are good?",2 14864,I tried!,2 14865,(On Phone) Can't we just... just...,3 14866,Um... (clears his throat)... okay. Go.,1 14867,Yeah... so glad we can we can talk about our sex lives now. That's totally an improvement.,1 14868,Barney.,2 14869,"Hi, Ted.",0 14870,"I love you." My father's last words to me are "I love you.",3 14871,"Dad, this is...",3 14872,"Glad you asked. The Lorenzon Von Matterhorn will be my comeback on stage. Or, you know, in my bed. In fact, my bed is on a stage. I put it on a platform and installed lighting. A real production. Barney goes!",0 14873,Withdrawn.,0 14874,"She's right. I mean, this idea that someone's last words have to be profound and meaningful? I mean, who can live up to that?",1 14875,"Oh, my God!",1 14876,You know what? Screw this. Game on.,3 14877,Hey.,0 14878,"Hey, man. It's Marshall. Check your e-mail. Sent you something.",3 14879,That's... What is it?,1 14880,"Ted, you mentioned that you live right upstairs. She saw the tweed jacket",0 14881,Duh. Of course there's a girl.,4 14882,TEN SECONDS!!,3 14883,"Ranjit, are you sure I can't help?",1 14884,Lily stole my boss' baseball signed three times by Pete Rose.,1 14885,No. No. The first is this guy who lives in a place called the mirror. What up?! I'm saying that you are way more awesome than Simon ever will be.,0 14886,"Oh, it's okay. I guess it just wasn't meant to be.",4 14887,Aw! You're giving Mabel away?,1 14888,"Randy, hey, what's going on?",3 14889,Oh. I wish you had called.,2 14890,Mosby?,0 14891,"Look,I don't think he's crazy. I just think he's suffering from a severe case of girlfriend withdrawal. And unfortunately, you're his nicotine patch.",1 14892,"Awesome. So awesome. God! Best girl ever. Screw these pancakes, I should cover you in syrup and gobble you up.",3 14893,"Marshall, they were in kindergarten. It teaches not basketball like that.",2 14894,"No Moon you know, but I went on Slune.",0 14895,Congratulations.,0 14896,You speak of beds yet?,3 14897,"So get off the field at the Superdome, because you ain't no saint.",4 14898,"Kelly Harris, a fellow law school, said... "The law school is too hard, I want to focus on courses. "Six months later?Married!",3 14899,"This is a job for me, Barney. It's a way to make some extra wedding money, and that's it. Now I'm sorry, but I have work to do.",3 14900,WHAT?,0 14901,Yes. (Barney slaps him once again and Ted slaps him back. Barney tries again to slaps Ted but he stops him) We're finding Penelope!,1 14902,"Maybe. I know not. I am not good to face the feelings.There is clearly something... between us. Maybe my head said, "stifles it in the bud" because my heart said... something else. Listen... I feel for you. Maybe even that I love you.",4 14903,New York has Greenwich Village.,1 14904,How could you?,0 14905,They were your bags.,1 14906,"Don't you get it, Ted? We're tearing down The Arcadian either way. It's a stupid old piece-of-crap, run-down, snake-infested dump!",0 14907,"Well, while that was happening, the straw in her drink was pointed right at me. I mean... that's as clear as a signal gets, so... I'm so sorry, man.",0 14908,"How did we get here? Couple of days ago, the biggest problem in my life was, did Ted eat the last pudding snack pack in the fridge.",3 14909,She likes me?,1 14910,OK I've enlisted Ranjit's services as my personal driver because for the next week I'll be sleeping with hundreds of women and I don't want to take the subway cause... you know... germs!,0 14911,"Lily, go. It's been 3 years. This is long enough.",3 14912,"And tonight, you had to, but um...",4 14913,I was only gone for a second when...,0 14914,"I'm not gonna die alone. Look at me. I'm bright, I'm attractive. You just have to get back out there and keep looking.",1 14915,The other thing.,1 14916,"Hey, you know, a... a pretty good magician like you probably knows how to, say, get out of a standard set of handcuffs.",0 14917,"And everywhere... the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room, outside in your wait... the kitchen.",3 14918,We all came out a year.,1 14919,Easier for taxes.,4 14920,He decides his v*ctim.,1 14921,So what do you do when you have to...?,2 14922,I did it because I care about you!,2 14923,"Yeah, let's never do that again.",1 14924,"You sure? I feel like we collectively learn the opposite lesson, like, at least once a year.",1 14925,"Hey, Ted. Nice shirt! Is it yesterday already?",2 14926,I miss sometimes. I wish I could close my eyes and find myself one hour in Canada.,4 14927,So that's your go-to bad movie? The number one example on the tip of your tongue of a bad movie is Field of Dreams?,1 14928,"What's the point of going out? I got a girlfriend... for now. Besides, if I go out, who's going to watch the news? I'm, like, half your viewership.",1 14929,Damn it.,4 14930,"He searched his bag to get his stuff, and... No, say it.It's more fun if you say so. Let me say it. No, say it. You say.Say it. At the same time. No, go ahead.",0 14931,"I don't know. So far, in the name of saving the planet, I've ruined your night, I practically broke Wendy's back and I got Meeker fired. The guy must hate me.",3 14932,I like your hat.,1 14933,"Oh, God, not this again. Ted, it's a mistake.",3 14934,...just throw her on the bed...,2 14935,Pfft.,1 14936,He thinks he fought with him.,1 14937,It happened. And these people don't forget. This is not the Natural Stuff That Happened No More Than Five Minutes Ago Museum. Huh?,0 14938,"Oh, that's great, honey.",2 14939,But I... Can I go smell her first?,0 14940,"Well, maybe it is and we're too late. Man, I wish we'd gone to Brooklyn sooner.",4 14941,"She wants casual. Okay, I'll be casual. I'm gonna be a mushroom cloud of casual. You know why? Cause it's a game! I wanted to skip to the end and do the "happily ever after" thing but you don't get there unless you play the game.",1 14942,"Hi, Natalie. You want to get coffee sometime?",1 14943,Are you kidding!,2 14944,To Ted! The youngest person to ever design a building over 70 stories... Probably!,4 14945,Yeah.,1 14946,"Try not to speak. Here, sit down. Just don't talk, don't talk.",0 14947,"Lawyered. The point is, how long has it been?",3 14948,You're a good guy.,2 14949,"(laughs) Well, good luck. I mean maybe New York's just too big a town, you know? There's millions of people in this city. How in all this mess is a guy supposed to find the love of his life? I mean, where do you even begin?",1 14950,What's his 'but'?,1 14951,"Okay, I'm totally lost here. Where's Ted?",4 14952,Are you sure? It's nothing. We can go around back and throw the box in the trash.,2 14953,Hey.,4 14954,"Hey, it's 49! It worked?",2 14955,"Well, you know what? That mushroom's not the only thing that's living. Car keys, please.",3 14956,"Just as i suspected, Cherry Garcia. Given the liquid consistency, i place the fight between... noon and 1.",1 14957,Stay with me! Barney is wrong.,1 14958,Okay...what do you think?,2 14959,"Hey, guys.",4 14960,Maybe you think it's stupid because you've never had a relationship that lasts long enough for that.,3 14961,"Oh, Tanya, I'm so glad you said that.",0 14962,"Oh, well, this... This is something important. Um, I'm having a... A really rough time at work. You know, the whole Becky thing...",4 14963,Maybe we shouldn't have brought these Sloppy Joes.,3 14964,"Yeah. He's a sweet guy. She feels really comfortable with him. They bonded over hockey. I guess he has a small penis, but they want to double-date next weekend.",2 14965,I'm crazy and you're crazy for tiramisu.,4 14966,What are you doing in Duchess County?,0 14967,I like this. Seduce the receptionist. That's a great plan.,0 14968,"Yeah, but you'd be surprised. It doesn't even come up that often.",1 14969,"Well, what I teach my kids in kindergarten...",2 14970,And cake.,4 14971,One of them is supposed to be famous?,0 14972,"My, oh, my there are some ferocious looking cutlets here tonight. Alright, hookup strategy, colon, find a cutlet; lock her in early, grind with her all night till she's mine.",0 14973,"Ted, belt.",0 14974,Not me. The key? Discard tips and not looking back. I go to Japan. It took me half an hour.,4 14975,"This is my overalls. I wore this little baby, during high school.",3 14976,I hear something burning...,4 14977,You want me to tell all the lies I have told to put a woman in my bed?,0 14978,That's a building.,0 14979,What?,1 14980,Holly.,0 14981,Of course. Robin hates kids.,3 14982,"Hey, man.",1 14983,You take too long to get ready,0 14984,Okay. "Take time to answer the phone. ",1 14985,"(On Phone) MacLaren's is bore, snore. Ted, tonight we're going to go out. We're going to meet some ladies. It's going to be legendary. Phone-five! (High-fives the phone)",0 14986,Sorry. It was just trying to help you.,3 14987,"Scooby, we're in our 30s. We don't smoke sandwiches anymore.",2 14988,"Needless to say, we've both changed our e-mail addresses.",0 14989,"I don't know. You said "mistake" a lot. Lily, don't do this.",1 14990,You? It was you?,0 14991,This isn't about the girl. It's about the building.,1 14992,"Uh... Marshall. Hi. Yes. Yes, I do.",1 14993,You remember the yoga teacher that got you into my birthday?,0 14994,Okay.,0 14995,""Dear Barney... I sincerely apologize about losing all the invitations you sent out to your eighth birthday party. That's why none of your classmates showed up. Not because you threw up when they turned the lights off at the Planetarium. No one even noticed that. Also, Janey Masterson's mother is a whore, and with gin on her breath at 10:00 in the morning, she's got some nerve kicking us out of the carpool. Love, Postmaster General.",0 14996,Totally.,4 14997,No.,1 14998,What?,1 14999,"OK, guys, be cool.",1 15000,Why?,3 15001,"For the millionth time, sleep-eating is a very serious and delicious medical condition.",3 15002,"Oh, my God! You're not even pregnant yet.",4 15003,"Exactly. I mean, it's almost like he's putting the moves on you.",3 15004,"All right, let's hit the road.",2 15005,"What, what, what...?",1 15006,"Length, resemblance to a historical figure, such as Winston Churchill... Yes, that's one of you. Girth, grooming...",4 15007,So that's the prank? That you're not in Duchess County?,3 15008,"Oh, come on. He's hot, he windsurfs, he massages things. Name one way I'm better than that guy.",1 15009,"Sorry, sweetie. I swear I'll be a great friend at the finish line, but the conductor just said you're going express to Borough Hall, which means you're screwed, sweetie. So long, sucker. (the doors of the train opens) Damn it. (she makes a phone call) Hey, it's Lily. Help me.",2 15010,"Thus, if I may... When Glitter's womb a fruit did bear, Robin said, "To hell with this, I'm outta hare. Glitter got pregnant, so Robin dumped her.",1 15011,"(exhales) you're not crazy. I-I don't know, Ted, I mean we barely know each other and you're looking at me with that look and it's like-(struggles)",4 15012,I know it must be tough. But are you ready to hear something that will not only make you feel better but will actively excite you?,0 15013,"The guy naked?",1 15014,It's okay.,4 15015,"Bilson? I just wanna say, I know that you chose Sven, but... Ted Mosby is extremely talented, and... he would have made a hell of a job.",3 15016,"Yes, that is the unabridged story of how Lily and I met. How embarrassing. Who wants another round?",1 15017,(from window) Ted?,4 15018,"Yeah, after you turn'm doing... then you can k*ll you. As "What is his head? ". Now I think it is, where is his head?",0 15019,Enchanté. That's French for "What's with the purple?",0 15020,Pretty! What made you ask?,1 15021,"Dude, I'm his best friend.",3 15022,"You see, Mom? I found someone who makes me happy. As you wished.",0 15023,Keep your job has nothing to do with being a hard worker. You need something.,0 15024,"I guess, uh... Bea Arthur.",3 15025,Your ear begins to feel.,4 15026,"Still no. What's up with that? I mean, I juggled.",1 15027,"Dear Ted future, stay away from Natalie. And girls who b*at you to the ground for no reason, before a cheering crowd. PS... Check out a shrink to find out why it has you a little excited.",1 15028,"Well, if I finished first, it's six hours of study of American architecture from the early 20th, and you can not ever do something in the list of Murtaugh. This is for your own good.",1 15029,Look who's got game.,3 15030,I never joke about the sublime art of burlesque entertainment.,0 15031,"Ted, what's the one thing that always cracks him up?",0 15032,I'm Architect Mosby. Sorry I just wanted to say my job too.,1 15033,No I'm not.,1 15034,But you're supposed to take me to see that Zeppelin cover band next week. The night is gonna be... Led-and-Jerry.,0 15035,"Oh, I've had that a couple times. Just lean into it and let it fuel things.",2 15036,Have fun.,1 15037,"Babe, we need money fast.",3 15038,It will not help me find a job. I'm going to evict. I know what to do. (Robin enters an office) This is where the auditions for the daughter of lottery?,4 15039,"Aw, honey.",2 15040,"Dude, this black-haired Goth chick stopped by today, (singing) wanna tap that.",3 15041,Uh-huh.,2 15042,"Dude, Robin and I are just friends. She doesn't even like me that way.",1 15043,Ted.,3 15044,"Yeah, I couldn't get her face in it. But she looks just like you.",0 15045,"I had to. Now that you have no sh*t with the girl, you'll realize you never cared about the building, and everything can go back to normal.",0 15046,"See, i bet you didn't pay for that gin and tonic.",1 15047,"Yeah, and in all these years Lily and I have never spoken about it, so again, mum's the word, OK?",1 15048,"Okay, let's take a look. Oh, yeah, it's a cougar all right. A prime specimen. See, you can identify a cougar by a few key characteristics. Start with the hair. The cougar keeps up with current hairstyles as a form of camouflage. The prey may not realize that he's engaged a cougar until he's already being dragged, helpless, back to her lair. Now, the blouse. The cougar displays maximum cleavage possible to captivate her prey. If you're watching them bounce, she's about to pounce. See the claws? Long and sharp, to ward off rival females... Or open alimony checks. Yeah, this one's a beaut. Okay, let the hunt begin.",0 15049,"No, no. Dude, dude. Sweet! It's a kids' show.",4 15050,We know you're gonna say "costumes".,4 15051,Ugh. All talking and no sex. k*ll me now.,2 15052,"So, this college boyfriend, who, who won him?",1 15053,Are you sure?,0 15054,I'm going to k*ll him.,1 15055,What?,1 15056,"Still, you know, another year older. Still single. You don't hear your Tedological clock ticking?",2 15057,"It was a tough summer, but I think our girl's been a real trooper. She's... Is this a Cheeto?",1 15058,"It's you who wrote, right?",2 15059,Really? Ted: Yeah.,0 15060,Wow. That is disgusting.,1 15061,"Please, can I have more... pants?",0 15062,No.,3 15063,I forgot...,3 15064,Wait. This is it.,3 15065,"Oh, yeah, sure, on the stupid stuff, like who comes.",2 15066,I'm in love with her.,1 15067,I can't believe it. We got Van Smoot House.,2 15068,So I'm the bad guy. Great.,1 15069,Looks like your dad came through one last time.,2 15070,"Go outside, go, go.",1 15071,"Okay, wow, it's getting weird in here. I'm going to call Marshall.",2 15072,"I lost my wisdom tooth. Without surgery. Local anesthesia. Frankly, it's nothing.",0 15073,"Because tonight, I am getting us all into "Okay".",4 15074,Not really.,1 15075,"Woody Allen is eating at Gregor's, and Robin thinks that we should go see him.",3 15076,Hello.,3 15077,"No, not at all.",2 15078,Brain freeze.,4 15079,To the study?,1 15080,"But I don't want to. I was so happy down there. No, you know what? I'm done complaining. I'm evolving. Just gonna go with the flow.",4 15081,Look at that one. This is the first picture of us three.,2 15082,I think I love you.,4 15083,"And that was fine with Blair Witch, and she tried to haggle on closing costs?",0 15084,I was there. Trust me. It's fake baby.,1 15085,Woah!,1 15086,"He's insane. My dad is insane. I'm so sorry, Lily. He's just... He's so... enthusiastic. It's ridiculous, you know? Like, who's like that?",3 15087,Fake baby!,2 15088,I got you a tandem bike.,1 15089,"She said something about me didn't she? Come on, spill it, Red.",1 15090,"The famous Jenkins, gosh. I imagined a man, in short, we eat?",2 15091,"This is awful. My-my tenth session is next week. I'm gonna ask her out, and she's gonna say the most demoralizing syllable in the English language... no. You know what? Just forget it. I'm not even gonna ask her.",1 15092,So you haven't told your dad that you're pregnant yet?,3 15093,"Let me guess, it was in the garbage.",4 15094,"Well, it's not fair to compare us to Ted and Victoria. This is their first time.",3 15095,"Ok, let me do it the Canadian So how do you react if one of those guys with skates and sticks came back here?",2 15096,"Magic phone, guys. (whispers) Magic phone!",0 15097,It's just Ted!,2 15098,Can you believe...,0 15099,"I don't know. We struggle so hard to hold onto these things that we know are going to disappear eventually. And that's really noble, but even if you save every rainforest from being turned into a parking lot, well, then where are you going to park your car?",1 15100,"And then I thought what do you do if you got a wife who won't stop crying, three idiots who won't stop bribing you, and a universally beloved k*ll for gamesmanship?",3 15101,"No. He cursed me and hung up. But after Channel 12, called. They'll love it too. They offer you to host their new talk show in the morning.",0 15102,"Uh, yeah. We hope our nosiness doesn't give you "paws."",1 15103,"Hey, Marshall, I need your help.",0 15104,Terrible.,3 15105,What?,0 15106,You know what he needs? He needs to see just how horrible he is when he's in a relationship.,0 15107,"Hello, Robin, it's Ted.",1 15108,"You know, Ted, not everyone is as much of a woman as you. Hey. I'm driving. Look at that. 8:56. You're early.",4 15109,I'm not lying to our kids.,2 15110,"First-class tickets, a four-star hotel--",4 15111,"Are these people Irish, Polish, blondes... what are we dealing with here?",0 15112,What are you doing here?,0 15113,"Yeah. When he finds it, he'll understand why his ball was taken away, he'll stop being mean, and the office will be a nicer place to work. Maybe he'll even be open to hearing your ideas.",2 15114,Two months.,2 15115,"That's so weird. Just, like, an hour ago, when we were leaving work...",3 15116,But they're twins.,0 15117,"Excuse me waitress, I'll have a mojito! And you'll have a no-seat-ho.",2 15118,"No, you just need to spend time with her and The Captain together. If you're friends with the both of them, then there's not a problem.",2 15119,"The first thing to know about success is that it will not come to you. Most people associate success with money and power, but in fact it is a mindset.",0 15120,And she's looking to get married and have kids?,4 15121,"OK, this would be weird without Robin. But not contradict the bride.",2 15122,I'm Lily.,2 15123,"I don't know, guys.",0 15124,"I don't care what I said. This is gonna happen. She can't say it's not meant to be. It is meant to be, and you know why? 'Cause I mean it to be.",1 15125,"The hostess in me who's using her wedding china for the first time wants to say hell, no, but yeah, I 'm going to allow it.",2 15126,"(for himself) Wait. Does professor have one "F" or two? Oh, my God... Oh, my God! Professor. Pro-fess-or. They're all staring at me. I don't know. Just do something! Two "F's". That looks right. I think that's right.",1 15127,"Oh, oh, oh!",2 15128,"Yes, at this point, I have never an old head on the photos. Neither ever or always.",0 15129,"Oh, come on-- you're the one who let in a kid with nunchakus. You call yourself security guards? I was just defending my boy here.",1 15130,It's weird.,1 15131,I love you.,3 15132,It's super boring.,1 15133,I couldn't really tell.,1 15134,I know. I'm sorry.,1 15135,"I can't go to Paris, I'm going camping.",4 15136,I'm not taking a prostitute to Robin's banquet.,1 15137,Wha...? I thought you said you were together all summer.,0 15138,Wow.,4 15139,Answer it.,2 15140,"Yeah, if you're playing in the women's league.",1 15141,"I'm not But um, I never told But hum.",4 15142,"Well, you didn't keep your promise either. I don't see any dirty pictures in here.",3 15143,You wouldn't have to take care of it.,4 15144,You're right.,4 15145,Where the hell is Barney?,1 15146,I pull these off! (Everyone is laughing at him) I pull these off!,1 15147,"Well, I'm always putting my career ahead of my relationships, and... to be honest, there's a lot of lonely nights in that job description.",2 15148,Because you just haven't met the right Hansel yet. One day you're gonna meet a guy who's gonna make you want to look like a complete idiot.,1 15149,"Okay. Well, after a long day of style meetings and photo sh**t and being way too mean to my assistant, I sometimes bang an underwear model.",2 15150,Super. So I'll call you.,1 15151,"(To Ted) No! No! The night is just started. Look, airport bar. Flight attendants! They'll get your tray table at its full upright position. Say what? (Goes for a high five)",0 15152,"Seriously it's not a big deal. He wanted to be a 'we,' and I wanted to be an 'I'. Dudes are such chicks. You guys, I'm fine.",4 15153,A mini pig? On which it would work?,1 15154,"God, this is awkward.",0 15155,And if I assassinate and bury you somewhere else?,1 15156,"Oh yeah, but that one's not for rent. It's for sale!",2 15157,Dammit. Stop it. What the hell?,4 15158,You mean... what position? (They starts fighting) Stop it! Stop it!,0 15159,Or see your new poster rap.,3 15160,"Didn't used to. There was math, I got confused.",1 15161,Lying trolls.,0 15162,You can be professional?,4 15163,"Oh, good for you, sweetie.",2 15164,"Yeah, it's going to be sweet, too. Like tonight we're tasting all these different wines, pairing them up with these cool gourmet cheeses...",3 15165,What?,4 15166,"Yeah, who needs a car in new york city, right?",1 15167,"Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god you say, "Yes!"",4 15168,What do you mean you forgot your pants?,2 15169,Why not?,2 15170,My lap of honor was bogus?,1 15171,"No. No, don't answer it!",3 15172,"The dancer's hip, Marshall's ax dancer.",2 15173,What?!,1 15174,""Mrs. Gorbachev, removed her underwear."",0 15175,"Barney, we love this bar. If you screxw over Wendy the waitress, you're going to k*ll the bar.",1 15176,"I know, you're right, but every time I close my eyes, I see this guy pointing a g*n at you. And... you're my world, Marshall. If something happened to you one day, I would...",2 15177,New Jersey is not "pretty much New York". You are not "pretty much new yorkers".,1 15178,Are you sure it's not more than that?,4 15179,"I'm sorry, Simon. Here we are nattering on about our big celebrity. What do you do for a living?",0 15180,This list of pros and cons leads to nothing. I need a color scale.,1 15181,"Impeccable, old bean. To industry!",3 15182,"This is a scrapbook of all of the women I've slept with. I made it at the Scrapbook Barn on 7th. Ask for Heloise. Tell her I sent you. What do you think, Lil? You recognize the saboteur?",0 15183,"The poor man was sobbing. What could I do? A fool and called him a girl, what I found unjustified.",3 15184,"And Robin's my girlfriend. I know it sounds nuts, but it feels good to say.",0 15185,What? There's no stigma anymore.,1 15186,A new super sexy barmaid.,2 15187,"Do you mind, um, maybe slipping in a little bit of dirty stuff, too?",3 15188,Stop it!,0 15189,"Aw, man! No, no! Let's get one thing straight, okay? I am not The Blitz.",1 15190,Remove your hair in the bathtub once you're done? Looks like you want to make a bath mat.,1 15191,"Yes, it was them.",4 15192,"I'M SORRY, I JUST ASSUMMED YOU...",1 15193,How did you do it?,0 15194,"Ted, you still with us?",0 15195,Gamin.,0 15196,"Coming up, are there snakes living in your walls? The answer may surprise you, after the break.",4 15197,"I would like it if you threw me one. Fastball, right down the middle. Actually, if I recall correctly, a slight curve.",4 15198,"You married. Listen, this is precipitated. It's as if you started a book by the end. You are the most romantic. You stole a blue horn for me. You tried to make rain.",4 15199,I was never going to take it.,2 15200,What... You can't call dibs on a girl I've been sitting here thinking about maybe talking to eventually at some point.,1 15201,Is there anything in the sauce that you've made? It tastes like... coriander. And... you know that cilantro makes me...,0 15202,"My name is Anuhea. It means cool and fragrant,much like any of our 12 specialty drinks.",2 15203,"If I died, I'd just come back and haunt your penis.",2 15204,What happened next?,2 15205,"You know, it'll have you "dia-pays" for it.",3 15206,Sleep with a prostitute?,1 15207,"No! You're not calling her. This changes nothing. (To Barney) You, come here. (Barney and Robin follow Ted in the kitchen). While we're away this weekend can you keep an eye on him? Make sure he doesn't call her hotel.",1 15208,"Thank you, Lily.",3 15209,"You see, Sports-man. People adore you.",0 15210,And that's sports.,4 15211,Wait wait! Robin. Can you pick up some calzones?,1 15212,"What? No, what are you talking about? It can be our first double date as couples! And plus, it sounds awesome! Is the original Chewbacca going to be there?",3 15213,Just come back to GNB already!,0 15214,What?,1 15215,You gonna put out?,0 15216,It was your girlfriend. You might want to call her back.,4 15217,"Mamma mia!. You know what? It's supposed to be a great musical, okay? It won all sorts of Tonies and stuff.",3 15218,"No. It's stupid. It's not cool, like Simon's shirt.",4 15219,You will not believe. Don also has twin beds.,3 15220,It's all in the assessment of your enemy. I knew he loved the sausages because he was out of breath just by coming to my car and he had mustard on his holster.,3 15221,Bizarre. Look at what is mixed with your fan mail.,0 15222,Welcome to my new home.,2 15223,...became the 2010 Tri-County Champions.,0 15224,Barney here.,0 15225,(Hitting with every syllable) Why... couldn't... you... leave... that... poor... girl... alone?,2 15226,No. You'll give it back or you're fired.,1 15227,"What? Journalist? You do the little fluff pieces at the end of the news. Old people, babies, monkeys... that's not journalism, that's just things in a diaper.",0 15228,"Wow, I-I thought you guys would be devastated.",1 15229,Hello?,1 15230,What the hell was that?,1 15231,"Thanks, Brad.",3 15232,I checked with Ted.,0 15233,"No! You can't quit tomorrow! The lady with the big nipples is coming back to give another sexual harassment seminar, and I bribed one of the maintenance guys to keep the room at a brisk 55 degrees!",0 15234,"Just let it go, man. You're making things worse.",3 15235,There's no meat.,3 15236,You've got to tell us.,2 15237,"Call her? she had a nice face, her booty was in place, but Barney don't chase.",0 15238,It was my head.,3 15239,"Ooh. That must be Adam. 'Sup, Punchy?",1 15240,I do not do that.,0 15241,"So, Simon, Robin's a bit of a local celebrity here in New York. She's the lead anchor at Metro News One. Tell him, Robin.",2 15242,"Well, my semester's over and the GNB building is finally done.",1 15243,The only thing missing from that bathrobe are your initials.,0 15244,Looks like someone suffered from premature slapulation,3 15245,Wait. You did role-playing exercises where I was played by Shin-Ya?,4 15246,Really? Your last name is "Sosie"?,3 15247,Lowest.,0 15248,There's no 'p' in husband.,4 15249,"Well, I'm out of money.",2 15250,"Come on, let's do it.",0 15251,"Then we'll move on to the hot apps station. And, depending on how things are going, Some lively pre-dinner charades.",2 15252,"Inventing your own word shows creativity and vision..."Visia-ness." If I can leave you with one thought, is this one: nothing... and all... is possimpossible. (Several assembly passes with a song) This guy is awesome.",0 15253,"OK, we should get started. I have much to sh**t, I can not use the tapes I have of you.",0 15254,It can wait.,4 15255,Whatever you say.,0 15256,Because I don't. And why am I explaining this to you? You're the most secretive person I know. You never tell anybody anything.,0 15257,"She didn't see us high-six, did she?",1 15258,Do you like Mike?,2 15259,The possimpossible? Oh yeah?,2 15260,Sorry?,4 15261,"Hi, Mary. Wow. It's, uh, nice to meet you, too.",1 15262,"I'm usually so good at being a boyfriend, but this never-seeing-each-other thing, it's a bitch. Maybe it just can't be do. I think it's clear what I have to do.",1 15263,About the hat.,1 15264,It's strange.,1 15265,"You're not taking a step back. You're running away. And hiding out here, hiding out here is not gonna solve anything. You're just holed up in Minnesota because you're too scared to face reality, and it's... We got to go back to New York, tonight.",3 15266,"Thanks. You're very sweet. So, are you a friend of the bride or groom?",4 15267,I-I don't understand. Why would he fire you?,4 15268,"So, where should we eat today? (looking at the assistant with a whole chicken in a container) Oh awesome, you brought lunch for everyone? (the girl leaves, crying)",1 15269,What?,3 15270,"Because it will age like it or not, then the real question is: do we want to go forward or clinging desperately to the past and end up like that?",1 15271,No.,0 15272,"I thought you said your semester was gonna be a piece of cake. I remember because you were eating a piece of cake at the time and you said, "dude, my semester is gonna be this."",1 15273,Sorry.,3 15274,"(laughs) yeah, sorry. We thought you were asleep.",3 15275,Tours to two euros?! None of these towers is. The Tower A except two Euros.,0 15276,Can't a brother go apple picking without getting the third degree? Damn!,1 15277,I just abandoned my wife. How am I supposed to have fun?,3 15278,No....Dammit.,0 15279,"So, he just gets no notice? He just walks into his boss's office, and says, "I just had a grandson. I'm gonna be out for three months."",3 15280,"That's better. It is not the best couple in the world, so what?",4 15281,... Huh?,0 15282,"Okay, uh, uh, where are you staying?",1 15283,It's nice home!,1 15284,Great. I hope you're happy. You sunk my battleship.,0 15285,A look of love.,3 15286,Really? I thought you'd be totally into it.,3 15287,(blocking their way) There's still pie.,2 15288,Stella.,1 15289,Twin beds? I can not sleep in separate beds. We should complain.,2 15290,I just find it really confusing to be around you right now.,3 15291,Or. Or...,0 15292,"Even if I wanted to fire you, after my talk with Arthur...",3 15293,My sperm is fine!,3 15294,Pretty radar chest. This is my wife.,3 15295,"Oh, my God, that is so fantastic! I don't know if I can just leave work.",4 15296,Err no he didn't.,1 15297,"Oh, come on. Does that really work?",3 15298,"Marshall, are you okay?",2 15299,"So, every time The Arcadian comes up, you guys just awkwardly change the subject?",2 15300,What advice do you have for a budding anthropologist?,3 15301,"God, that is so me at 15.",3 15302,"You know, I had this really boring poetry class in college.",4 15303,"Yeah, I was there for the "insertion." He used shoehorns. I'll be having sides.",4 15304,"Okay, now, well, that's just not cool.",0 15305,I know. I want to hire you.,0 15306,Wear what bad luck?,2 15307,It happened! Have you... meatballs?,3 15308,"Yeah, but she's not Robin.",1 15309,"I'm flipping. But before I do, I just wanna say something. You didn't even wanna move in here in the first place. You said a pre-war building was bad for your allergies.",1 15310,"I know I was a little hard on you, the last two days.And I apologize. Today, we will not think of victory. We'll go there and... have fun.",3 15311,Why would I want to tire them out?,1 15312,"Hey, we've got four more parties to hit. If party number one turns out to be the best, we'll just limo on back to it.",1 15313,I know what it is. You're like... a kid who threw his toys and wants them back as soon as another plays with.,1 15314,No. It meant nothing. It was just a reflex when we were a couple. But I did everything go wrong.,1 15315,There's nothing to talk about.,0 15316,Yes. He is there every year. And it's a rock star.,1 15317,"If you know what you do, 2 minutes.",3 15318,(leaving the building) She bought it.,4 15319,"Yeah, I agree. This is perhaps the dumbest thing you've ever done.",4 15320,Sounds awesome. We should go out and just get freakin' weird.,3 15321,It's positive? It's positive.,3 15322,No!,2 15323,"Trying to turn this night into anything more than what it is, which is New Year's Eve which is the single biggest letdown of a night every single year.",0 15324,"Lily, come on.",1 15325,"Now that you have been looking more closely, admit it: the bartender is the sexiest of the Bar.",2 15326,It looks to be a... sacred... spa.,3 15327,"That happened to me, it was pretty hard. I am not fully recovered.",1 15328,Don't wanna leave out the righty.,1 15329,"Oh, my gosh. That's amazing news.",3 15330,"Damn, Ted was torn. Embarrassing...",0 15331,"Guys, focus.",0 15332,Or Ictor. Probably doesn't go by Ictor.,3 15333,"Ah, only the gala event for the grand opening of Sharper Image's 500th store. Didn't you get my email?",0 15334,I imagine that something as expl*sive must be registered with the authorities.,0 15335,"No, I'm sorry, but it's for your own good.",2 15336,Isn't that animal cruelty?,0 15337,"I suggest we play a little game I like to call, "Have you Met Ted?"",0 15338,"Bob Barker's not your father! You've concocted this delusional idea that a game show host is your real father, and he's not! You were abandoned, Barney! You were abandoned, and you never dealt with it, and so now you never allow yourself to feel anything, and that's how you survive in this corporate world, and if I keep heading down this path, I'm gonna turn into you! And I don't want that! I don't want any of this! This is not why I became a lawyer. This is not the person that I wanted to be...",3 15339,"Even I who works with him, I just learned this afternoon when I walked past the office of his boss.",3 15340,And nothing about the twins' story?,4 15341,"Oh, yeah, me, too. The trick is to bend the aircraft carrier so it makes an L.",4 15342,I think Lori's age made him very wise.,4 15343,"So that brings us to today. A little background. So I'm working on this report called "Using 23-b-3 spurious class action precedent to contest a class certification order based on a lack of commonality, numerosity..."",3 15344,"Oh, no.",1 15345,Some old?,4 15346,Damn Marshall. It has four lamps and Viking smoking k*ll.,2 15347,What?,0 15348,You never called dibs.,0 15349,"Hey, Robin, where's Barney?",3 15350,Apparently.,1 15351,And a few tears wouldn't hurt.,3 15352,"No, it was my birthday.",2 15353,""Dear Ted, Stella seems to be wonderful. But you do not know enough to get married. You do not know probably not enough to get involved in raising a child with her. You do not restore her service or her child or yourself by throwing yourself like that. Just take a little longer. " It was there for months, OK?That was before we know Stella and that way as she's great and what you train super torque. That's why we decided to not make this statement.",3 15354,"So, what's the deal with you and malls?",1 15355,That's not true.,4 15356,"Oh, no.",0 15357,"Yeah, Ted, hold on to that one.",2 15358,Okay.,1 15359,I did not call.,0 15360,"I want to call my mom, just tell her I love her.",1 15361,"Yeah, dude, come on.",1 15362,"Uh, yeah, I don't think Abby knows you're kidding.",1 15363,"Or we could stay on dry land, hang out with some... witnesses.",1 15364,Did you just say "eggs"?,1 15365,They just moved here fromHawaii. Py is a total foodie,2 15366,"Hey, guys. I just got in last night. Um, uh, this is Gael.",4 15367,I have not lost it.,4 15368,I'm a reporter for Metro News 1.,4 15369,"Yeah, I guess she's kind of hot, yeah.",3 15370,"The top 64 women I've slept with, split into four regions. This tournament will systematically narrow down which girl has the most cause to hate my guts. Last girl standing has to be the saboteur.",0 15371,Sorry for my delay. I was stuck at work. I had this presentation on taxes on dividends.,3 15372,You said I could slap.,4 15373,"It was an amazing safari. I can't wait to show you guys the slides!

     

Gumballs 25 cents


F.D. » Transcripts » TV & Movie Transcripts » H » How I Met Your Mother



You weren't there.,1 15376,Maybe is whole thing's a big mistake.,4 15377,"No, I have to work on Friday. You?",1 15378,"I'm sorry, too. Of course we're friends. I'm glad we're friends.",4 15379,"Of course. So, should I just put it in?",0 15380,I'm here with someone.,0 15381,Try me.,2 15382,"Because we just hooked up last night. I can't call the girl the next day. I have to wait at least, like, forever. Oh snap. Never gonna call her. Besides, she thinks I'm on my way to India.",0 15383,"Oh, I don't think you will. Hmm. Because you don't want to screw things up with Nora. Hey, prove me wrong. Tomorrow night, my place.",4 15384,I can't believe you guys are closing.,1 15385,Magic's not lame.,0 15386,"It's kinda hard to talk about with Ted here, but I just want someone who's not afraid to hold me at night when the tears come. Ellen, can you help me find her?",0 15387,Direct. I like that. The name's Barney. What I want... is you.,0 15388,"The... mmm. Social experiment. (Chanting) U.S.A, U.S.A, U.S.A, U.S.A...",0 15389,You can not blow a fine.,0 15390,"Oh, that reminds me. I got you a little airplane. It represents the spirit of adventure. Do you like it, Ted? Do you?",0 15391,"Mayor McWouaf. It teaches the children clean, dressed dog. Finally, it is supposed to.",4 15392,I believe that wearing anything underneath.,3 15393,"Anybody'd be stressed out meeting new people. She's not crazy. Crazy generous maybe, buying us drinks.",1 15394,"Marshall and I have been together 15 years, and the only debate we've had about Tommy Boy is whether it's awesome or super awesome. That's love, bitch.",2 15395,What's the matter?,0 15396,What?,0 15397,I-I guess I'll keep her up on the roof.,2 15398,Ah!,1 15399,Marshall!,2 15400,"Oh, yeah, my friend did the remodel. You should see the rooms. The views are amazing.",1 15401,"Oh, yeah, I wouldn't worry about that. That's made of candy. Later.",0 15402,Damn. Loretta really lied a lot to her kids.,1 15403,"I do not know what to do. We never had to fight so long. It's as if I no longer existed. Sunday morning, she made a pancake, Ted. A pancake and a slice of bacon.",3 15404,What happened?,0 15405,"About 1,500 bucks.",3 15406,"During the season of super bowl, but if they mean the super bowl. Go Vikings.",3 15407,You have to take away the internet. Genre immediately.,3 15408,Well... it could be anyone...,2 15409,I wouldn't consider any part of that bragging.,0 15410,"Well, he's right, it's a dead heat.",2 15411,"Of who? Santa's elves? Rudolph? You know what? I'm going on a trip, too, Scott. It, uh, starts in Narnia. It works its way up to Candyland, and then, hey, congratulate me, because I'm the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Expelliarmus!",4 15412,It is tonight.,0 15413,"It asks me no problem holding a cup, unlike you.",1 15414,"No. But it did get you to drink three scotches, which is why you're ready to spill your guts.",4 15415,"It's from a porno. I saw him. Shit, I did.",3 15416,I want this apartment.,1 15417,"Natalie. Come on, I just want to say I'm sorry. I only came down here because you wouldn't take my call.",1 15418,"It was nothing! I had a small problem, so I called Lily.",3 15419,I do not either.,1 15420,"Lily, you just said, "yeah, no."",4 15421,"So, where did you guys go?",3 15422,"I do care, Barney. Look, we're dating now, okay? That changes things. We have to have a serious talk about this.",4 15423,... then get a boob job.,0 15424,They're different eyes. I don't see why this bugs you. Patch up!,0 15425,Hello.,4 15426,"I don't know, it was just a, a rough day and the only person I wanted to see at the end of it was you. So... um... how was the big phone call with your girlfriend?",4 15427,"Uh, Jim, I told you I wanted to talk about it.",0 15428,Affirmative.,3 15429,"I never got in touch because I was too embarrassed. I screwed everything up. I have no job, no place to live. I lost the love of my life. Look, I know I have no right to ask this but do you think Marshall would take me back?",2 15430,"No, between. It's not weird at all.",1 15431,"Seriously, honey, men are working, here.",0 15432,"No, Kelly works with the news breakers...",4 15433,You want to go?,1 15434,"Ewww!...Is something some lame, judgmental chick would say, but I say give me multiple high fives.",2 15435,"Yeah, Dad?",3 15436,"(voice) I had no idea how Barney redirected the cab without me knowing, but we got out, Dana let us in and by god we licked the Liberty Bell. And you know what it tastes like?",1 15437,"Lesson one, lose the goatee. It doesn't look good with your suit.",0 15438,"The best is that it is possible that the story goes on national TV. Guys, this story of the monkey attacker can make me famous.",4 15439,"Caring for a bar, it's boring. We should stick to what we know.",1 15440,New pajama bottoms?,3 15441,"I see what you're doing here. "another couple", please, that crap is page one out of the Realtor's playbook. And we're not buying it.",3 15442,"And by "me", he means Marshall Eriksen, star of Ted's gay dreams.",3 15443,Why would I change anything? This place is... Perfect. Except for the fact that you don't have a TV.,2 15444,It's his life. These girls had it coming if they are stupid enough to be fooled.,4 15445,I thought you started that yesterday.,3 15446,"Okay, guys, I've got some bad news for you. So I'm just going to come out and say it. You're a couple. And no matter how hard you try to fight it, couples need other couples. That's why you miss Marshall and Lily. And can't you just admit that?

(They are now with Ted in an other building) Shut up and talk about Marshall. Shut up and talk about Marshall! Shut up and talk about Marshall! Marshall! Marshall! Marshall! Marshall! Aaah I gotta ask! (Then, the three of them are in Robin's apartment) And, hey, how is Marshall?",2 15472,"Yeah. Yeah. Oh, hey, I just remembered, um, my mom is coming into town next month. Maybe you'd like to nail her, too!",1 15473,"Oh, sure. She's great. Oh, what? Because of the whole thing where I said I liked Ted? No. Victoria's great. She's fun, she's free-spirited, she's great. I said, "She's great" too many times, didn't I?",4 15474,"(To cabdriver) Estaban, doors! (Cab doors lock)",0 15475,"Well, just to be fair, it didn't go all the way through.",3 15476,Fine! The reason I'm upset about Marshall leaving GNB is... is...the meatball sub.,0 15477,"Okay, but a screwdriver? Come on, I don't have any gaps that fundamental.",1 15478,Excuse me?,2 15479,You should listen to Robin.,2 15480,"Hey, is that Gary Oldman? (pointing behind Mike and Marshall)",4 15481,"So, to end modern architecture is very short, experimented with the houses in V. (Robin enters the classroom Ted) Excuse me one second. What are you doing here?",1 15482,"August 5, one charge - tickets. To what? George Clinton and the P-Funk All Stars. August 10, one charge, Tennis Emporium. August 18, two charges. Mario's bistro and - get this - Pet Palace. You guys see what it means right?",3 15483,Does lefty like that?,1 15484,"Look, it's just two cigarettes. Ok, I can collect 2. As it is not 3 within 24hrs I replongerai yet.",3 15485,Color scheme?,1 15486,It was all lies.,2 15487,Let's hope. This weekend is my best chance to start with it.,0 15488,"Oh, my God, that took you five seconds.",0 15489,Kahlua and root beer,2 15490,"Thanks. You're right. I'm being crazy. So I should still buy that plane ticket, right?",1 15491,"I'm not going to listen. "Rent Crocodile Dundee II" are the last words that my father will ever say to me, and I think I can live with that.",3 15492,Continuous. Continues.,0 15493,Yes. And we miss you. But the cousin thing mostly. Let's get that going.,1 15494,And Tony! What a nice surprise.,1 15495,"Point is, something good is going to happen to me. Maybe your computer will help, maybe it won't, but it'll happen.",1 15496,Or... I send them a text message that will really confuse them.,1 15497,"Actually, that is a perfect metaphor. By the way, did I congratulate you two? (Raises glass to Lily and Marshall)",0 15498,"Yes, yes, but they are not here. They are somewhere else. We have total privacy because privacy is essential when you're listening to music.",1 15499,Mom!,0 15500,"Forget that. That's a Tuesday for me. New shredder. This baby'll chew up a bicycle in 17 seconds. From sky mall. It's all from sky mall. Whenever I get upset, I shop at sky mall. Want a hot dog?",0 15501,The beaver is the official animal of Canada. It's our national mascot.,4 15502,"No, no, no, no. Ineffable, ineffable means it can't be explained.",1 15503,Can you please keep it down?,4 15504,"They look at you all, we are all impressed and if you smoke this cigarette, we shall return it to us too.",3 15505,"Our group is divided into smokers and nonsmokers, and it's great.",1 15506,Works at every time.,0 15507,"Well, this kind of sucks.",2 15508,Court-mandated community service.,1 15509,Hey!,0 15510,"Don't k*ll the bar, dude.",3 15511,I was high that day. I was. I was so high I thought you were the dean.,3 15512,Really? For brunch?,1 15513,"Okay, here's how it's gonna work. Now, Lily...",4 15514,"Well, she kept talking about this cheesy French guy, Gabriel. So, I went out to visit, and there was this party. And who shows up but Gabriel. And he's got this weak-ass, thin French moustache. I'm not much of a fighter, but I knew I could take this weird little dude. So, I took him aside, and I got all creepy quiet, I got the crazy eyes going, and I said, "You stay away from Lily, or I swear to God I'll eat that moustache right off of your ugly French face." Yeah. Yeah, he literally ran away. I think he was crying. I never told Lily about it. To be honest, I'm not very proud of it. To be even more honest, I am.",3 15515,Barney's stupid ideas you have put into this mess. There is no escaping it. Make this stupid dishwasher.,1 15516,"You wouldn't be into her.She's, like, in her late 40s.",3 15517,"Piti texting"?,0 15518,"And we want different things. That's still there. That's not going away. I mean, what if we do this and it doesn't work out and I'd lose you as a friend? I gotta think about this.",4 15519,"Oh, believe me I've been there. I have this line that I use when guys come (Guy#3 walks by) Check it out.",2 15520,Noon. See you then.,0 15521,That's comedies these days? I fall off my chair! I really fell off my chair. It was funny.,3 15522,And you give him?,2 15523,"Mind-blowing entertainment, like a naked fire show or a naked magic show.",0 15524,You're bluffing.,1 15525,"Well, she'd have to with your spring-loaded toilet seat, wouldn't she?",2 15526,"Marshall, you can b*at this.",4 15527,You clearly don't know Ted.,3 15528,The coffee too?,0 15529,"No problem, it is occupied. The bother, come on.",2 15530,What is the result with the bimbo?,4 15531,We've gone nine years without peeing in front of each other. You always think there'll be more time.,3 15532,I thought it was a chain of screaming.,1 15533,"Girls, I'm fine.",1 15534,So you're not coming to make pies.,1 15535,"There's nothing on this list for which you're too old. In fact, if you did everything on the Murtaugh list, I would call it a nice weekend.",0 15536,I'm not crying.,4 15537,"I'm sorry. It is both. We drank and we were stupid, but... We will do everything we can to ensure that Don is part of the group.",1 15538,And that's Robin on the other line.,3 15539,Of course they do. And you'll find one. And you'll be much happier with her than you ever were with Zoey.,1 15540,She said it'd take three days. It's been five days. Should I be worried?,1 15541,Give a cigarette!,2 15542,"No, he wouldn't.",0 15543,"Hey, thanks for telling me to stand up to Druthers and pitch my idea. Seriously, none of this would have happened if it weren't for you.",1 15544,"Marshall, wait. (He opens the door) This was our first fight as a married couple.",2 15545,"First, you can not control the Grand caramel. Secondly, I see it as a big brother, who has breasts. My older brother had also, in short.",3 15546,"Four. Teen. No, just four. And the icing from two more. So, anyway, here's the problem.",1 15547,I can not live here.,1 15548,"Well, you did.",3 15549,"Hello, Aunt Kathy, what's up?",0 15550,Yeah?,2 15551,Sorry.,4 15552,"My way of saying thank you. Okay, you wanna see my designs for the building?",1 15553,You know this girl. Where does she live?,4 15554,"Ted, what are you talking about?",2 15555,"Ted, you can hit you something else to this marriage.Let the big binder. The only thing you have to bring it to Cleveland.",0 15556,Does it get any better than this?,0 15557,"Every year, Playboy publishes a list of the best student parties in the country. I take the top 25, and I do... a bingo card. All I need now that Arizona Tech, which is crazy. In a contest, it would be given automatically.",0 15558,I'm absolutely not playing laser tag.,1 15559,"Wait, I thought you had a very small studio.",1 15560,"It was Robin! "What! "Yes, it was Robin who cried at the song Clint! But she said... I know what she said. But that's not what she wanted you to know.",0 15561,"See you in two shakes, Mare. You two make yourselves comfortable.",0 15562,"It's going to seem crazy, but I thought Jenkins was a guy.",1 15563,"Yeah, well, you still shouldn't have told us. I mean, what kind of boyfriend are you?",2 15564,Marshall!,4 15565,"Yeah, it does. Why did you have to throw your magnificent calves at me? You know you have a punter's leg.",2 15566,I can not. And I see no reason that you did not come to New York.,1 15567,"B-plus?! Marshall, after I've gone through my eight weeks of physical therapy, I am going to get you that "A"!",0 15568,"Hi, Nicole.",3 15569,I was about to jump. You've not heard saying "OK" loop?,3 15570,Hey.,4 15571,"Of course, we all live here so we should all be able to have things the way we want them.",3 15572,What?,2 15573,Aw.,4 15574,It's exciting.,2 15575,"Okay, well, think about it. We've seen his moves countless times. What does he do after he's done ignoring a girl?",3 15576,"So, Lily, what do you say? Do you want the job?",1 15577,"Wow, wow!",1 15578,"Um, I think you got that backwards there, Chief.",2 15579,"Okay, in my client's defense. Is there an unterrible way to break up with somebody? No. Personally I'd rather hear the bad news on an answering machine than face the humiliation in person. (Lily Picks up her phone) It's the least painful way you can do it. Who are you calling?",3 15580,"Oh, the moon, the stars, the shimmering skyline. You can't not fall in love on that roof.",2 15581,But you have a job here and a life; I'd have nothing there.,1 15582,It's Teddy Bear. Want some honey?,1 15583,What do you mean?,4 15584,"He replied! "I probably should not tell you, finally, we barely knew, but never mind, I say it anyway. "",3 15585,Whoa.,4 15586,"Uh, college educated-- check. Plays tennis-- check. Uh, favorite book is Love in the Time of Cholera-- check.",1 15587,Good news: I don't have to cover the cat show tomorrow night. Who's up for hanging out?,4 15588,"Uh, this is Professor Mosby.",1 15589,"Barney, it was not a gamble. Person...",3 15590,I think that the knees are made to bend like that. He may have torn his cruciate ligament.,3 15591,"Yes, you got me. I guess you can leave.",0 15592,What's going on?,2 15593,Screw the environment!,3 15594,"He's bold and uninhibited, so why not? And guys, you know what? For fun, why don't we ask him what he does for a living? Wouldn't that be fun? Just ask...",4 15595,"Peace, I'm out.",1 15596,"I know, right?",0 15597,"Alright, see you guys later.",4 15598,"What, wear a wrinkled suit and not give a damn about what your hair looked like?",0 15599,"Well, Marshall's gonna get yyou guys, Lily's gonna get me.",4 15600,What was that?,4 15601,I'm doing this. (Starts to leave),1 15602,Those two eight's right over there. Yeah.,0 15603,That's not a chocolate.,1 15604,"Oh, hey, by the way, if anyone wants to come over early thursday, we can watch the Slapsgiving day parade.",3 15605,They're actually called British morning socks.,1 15606,"Sorry, I know, OK?",4 15607,"This is my collection of p*rn! I offer you my p*rn. Now that it goes really well with Robin, I need more.",0 15608,"Oh, there's a stigma. That's why people always say there's no stigma anymore.",4 15609,"You guys, let me get a picture.",4 15610,"Okay. Today, I had a $ 200 fine for speeding.",0 15611,"If he heard that, it would destroy him.",1 15612,"Look, Robin, I don't wanna crowd you on your little date here, so if things start to get hot and heavy with Don...",1 15613,"Oh, I'll bring it. I'll bring it so hard the bride's gonna look like a big white bag of crap.",4 15614,"Four workers were electrocuted when a subway train derailed. Stay here for more... de-rail shocking. Joel, people died.",4 15615,How would you know that?,4 15616,"Oh. Oh. I have to say, as much as I hate to agree with Barney, this does seem to be a veritable pornucopia.",2 15617,Why does this keep happening?,0 15618,"Zoey? Well, well, well.",1 15619,Great. I'll put the paints away. You just go show him.,2 15620,Dibs!,0 15621,"And so the life of a television reporter is very rewarding, and I stronly urge you to consider it as a career. Thank you. Yeah?",4 15622,You ready?,0 15623,What?,2 15624,"Lily, you're a kindergarten teacher?",4 15625,"Oh, I like it. Hey, you remember that friend of mine in Canada who got married too young? Her wedding cake was a Mrs. Field's giant cookie.",4 15626,"I don't know Lily, after five years, her expectations have gotta be pretty high.",1 15627,"You think being in love, it's just to have pet names. Or let the words stupid or darken in the blizzard for no reason.",4 15628,"Okay, seriously, what is going on with Ted lately? Is he having a nervous breakdown?",4 15629,Right. Come on.,1 15630,You can sleep with Marshall.,2 15631,"Well, it's complicated. I think it would be when you have expectations, emotional involvement...",2 15632,Thank you!,3 15633,How could you let me do? You're my wife. You must avoid that I ridiculed in public.,3 15634,"And great TV was had by all. Alright Scherbatsky, new challenge. And this one's big. But so, is the cash reward. For one thousand dollars, you heard me, all you have to do is get up there on the news and do one of these... (does odd dance)",0 15635,You know what I miss? The call for lunch.,2 15636,Very bad robot voice.,3 15637,You let him with Barney?,1 15638,Wow.,3 15639,I want to see a pretty girl.,0 15640,Species of bastard! I brought the blue French horn!,1 15641,You're the best. And maybe a couple polaroids?,3 15642,You made a noise.,4 15643,"Ted, do you know how long it takes a woman to decide whether or not she's going to sleep with a guy? 8.3 seconds. After that, her decision is made. She will not change her mind.",0 15644,Whoo-hoo!,2 15645,How the hell could you do that?,1 15646,You've been together all summer. I don't get it.,2 15647,"No, no thank you!",3 15648,No reason not to do so.,0 15649,"Yeah, yeah. Look, are we gonna play Battleship or what?",0 15650,I find a 1939 penny on the subway. Just imagine the history this little copper guy's seen...,1 15651,"No, Marshall, it does not matter.",2 15652,PROBLEM IS... YOU CAN'T DO ANY OF THAT COUPLE STUFF UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO DO IT WITH. AND THE ONLY WAY I'M GOING TO FIND THAT SOMEONE IS BY GOING OUT DOING STUPID SINGLE STUFF WITH BARNEY.,1 15653,Of course. Well...,0 15654,"Marshall and Lily. I just realized that I am about to have a little niece who looks up to me. And I don't want to be sad aunt Robin, the aging coin flip bimbo who gives her the creeps. I want to be cool aunt Robin, the respected journalist... (quietly) Who gives her beer.",4 15655,Ted's goanna get it on with a TV reporter (nods. Laughs.) This just in. Okay (holds hand up for high-fives),0 15656,"Baby, real estate is always a good investment!",3 15657,And twice that.,0 15658,"What, so it's... the end of the discussion?",1 15659,"Let's bail, this place is dead.",0 15660,It's normal.,3 15661,Alan Alda. It was Alan Alda.,0 15662,The crocodile you saw?,3 15663,I don't think that's how you're supposed to greet a customer at Big Wave Luau.,1 15664,"Yeah, it was about the girl.",1 15665,"Exactly. And you know why? Because you don't want to hurt someone you really care about, especially around the holidays. I mean, what decent human being would want to cause any kind of emotional or physical pain...",0 15666,An actress friend.,2 15667,"No Country for Straight Men.",3 15668,Kiss the crap out of that girl,3 15669,"No, he's not going up there. He has more sense than that.",2 15670,"Okay, tomorrow... oh, and I should mention this is going to rock your world-- tomorrow I'm taking you to my personal tailor.",0 15671,Thank you.,2 15672,You really think it'll take more than five minutes to realize there will be no date number two?,0 15673,"Well, he's not going to have the chance, because I am putting old Mabel in the Bermuda Triangle.",3 15674,"Yes, he's that lame. Tell them you're that lame!",1 15675,"Okay, Ted, but these dogs are really barking.",2 15676,Really?,0 15677,"Alright, um, I think we need to refine our back-story first. How did we...",1 15678,Completely naked!,1 15679,"OK, guys, I gotta say something. I think my feelings for Robin may be resurfacing.",1 15680,(Subtitle) "7"?,1 15681,"All right. So you do most of our group, forever. You can ask to return in 2 years. Come see wrestlers fight like robots. I'm embarrassed. I forgot something.",0 15682,"(in the phone) Yeah I never called you, you called me fifteen times and my parents twice.",1 15683,"Excuse me, pardon me. (grabs the Blue French Horn) Enjoy your coffee. (Runs away)",1 15684,"I'm doing this contortionist Portuguese, and I swear... it is so flexible, at a time, it was about me and beneath me. A top and a bottom! One and two! Which is empty?",0 15685,"Here. You know what? Hold this, okay?",1 15686,Bon Jovi?,1 15687,"When suddenly, an array of",3 15688,"Man, it's amazing out there. I've done so much good today, I've got like a soul boner.",0 15689,"Well, we're not quitting just 'cause Ted's so far ahead.",3 15690,"I do not know... what comes to the bread here, but it touches me... here... and here.",3 15691,I'll call and beg Joel for giving me my job.,4 15692,Marshall Eriksen... put a baby in my belly.,2 15693,It was so magical.,1 15694,"Mr. Stinson... I had to rush down as soon as I got your results. I'm sorry, but your crabs have super-herpes. (The girl leaves in a hurry)",3 15695,"Oh my God, guys, I still have a hangover. Did I really ruin a marriage?",3 15696,The slot machine is too much fun. And a trampoline... that's actually too dangerous. But I finally found the perfect bait... A mini pig.,0 15697,"I'm happy for my bladder, yet sad for us.",2 15698,"Hey. Mary seems nice. Have you kissed her yet, or are you waiting until you're in a serious relationship with someone else?",4 15699,"Dude, we're 42.",2 15700,Hey.,1 15701,You have tested those purple shots in test tubes? I took five. I believe that there is no alcohol in it.,3 15702,Can we come?,1 15703,"What do you mean, no?",1 15704,"Yeah, so you spend one more amazing day together. Ted, think about it this way: if you knew that you were going to lose your leg tomorrow, would you sit on the couch and cry about it, or would you run, and jump, and do some awesome air kicks while you still could?",3 15705,"Yeah, school girls... The more they ignore you, pretend to hate your guts, lock you in the coatroom over winter break, the more they secretly like you. This isn't... Who's Sam Gibbs?",0 15706,You hit me in the nose!,1 15707,I really wasn't expecting that to happen.,2 15708,Only two things can cause this turmoil.,0 15709,Terrific.,1 15710,What a c**t.,0 15711,No one will pay a million for these pictures!,1 15712,"It is the party's tonight. (Marshall's mad) Yeah-uh-it's a two day party. Because that's just how we roll. Uh-so if you wanna swing by its-uh-you know, Casual. See ya. (hangs up) So that was Robin.",1 15713,Are you kidding? Robin is a pretty girl. They have no fines. I bet she was often stopped and has never had.,3 15714,"Okay, yes, it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake. But there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake, and look back, and say, "Yep. That was a mistake." So, really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake, because then you go your whole life not really knowing if something is a mistake or not. And, damn it, I've made no mistakes! I've done all of this-- my life, my relationship, my career-- mistake-free. Does any of this make sense to you?",2 15715,"...and if economic sanctions and trade restrictions aren't enforced, the destruction of the rainforests will continue and over a million species will be wiped out.",3 15716,"What is this, opposite day or something?",1 15717,"Ted, I know I shouldn't do this but I have to!",3 15718,So your name is Tony?,1 15719,This is Holly who writes to you? You're not promised to wait three days?,4 15720,"Chrissy, I love your glasses.",0 15721,Let's do this!,0 15722,"Just talk to him. You can do this, Robin.",2 15723,"I KNOW, I KNOW. IT JUST SEEMS LIKE SUDDENLY WE'RE LIVING IN TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS. MAYBE YOU'VE GOT MORE IN COMMON WITH BARNEY.",3 15724,"Lily, Sometimes I think about other women. Okay, it happens. But even when I do, I feel so guilty that I have to imagine you... passing away first, because even in a fantasy world, I could never cheat on you. You're... you're just my life, baby. And I love you.",3 15725,"Where do prejudices? A stereotype appears, and suddenly, it spreads like fire. Asians misbehave, the Scots are stingy, the Brazilians are too many stamps. I doubt it works.You can not hang out with people who belittle your beloved country. I take you back.",3 15726,"Oh, my God! Look at this. My letter from the Postmaster General. I still can't believe he took the time to write this...",0 15727,What's the matter?,4 15728,I know.,1 15729,Cleaning. You go on your date. Happy Valentine's Day.,4 15730,"Me too, buddy.",0 15731,What do you mean?,1 15732,"Hum. This is Barney. Barney, Amy.",1 15733,(whispers) She needs to get married.,2 15734,"Wow. So, maybe I should call him?",2 15735,"Oh, hey, guys. This is Nate. Nate, these are my friends.",4 15736,"Come on, Barney, you're just being paranoid. OK, seriously, what is this girl's deal?",4 15737,Yes!,1 15738,I'm furiously enjoying being challenged.,1 15739,Right? Right?,1 15740,"It's not perfect, it's pathetic. You can not skip to the end.The best thing is the journey.",4 15741,"You know, what's thick? what's thin?",3 15742,"(Turns around nonchalant) Robin, wow! What are the odds?",1 15743,You...,0 15744,I just... I canceled.,4 15745,"Robin was different. I did not mean that you break, but you wanted different things and you refused to settle it. I could imagine the porch.",2 15746,The robot! Hey!,3 15747,""Uh, is this working for you?"",2 15748,I hate Ted more.,0 15749,So what are you doing in Duchess County?,3 15750,"Number three, the altercation Star Wars.",2 15751,I think we should talk about advantage and get down to business.,4 15752,"Wait, Nora, waiting... No, please. I'm sorry.",0 15753,This building is fabulous! You saw the gate and terracotta panels outside?,1 15754,"Yes, Robin?",1 15755,You have defiled the marital bed because you could not sleep?,3 15756,So far. Hang in there. I will not be eternal.,3 15757,"Ow, I should explain. We got in a pretty big fight.",2 15758,"No, I said. This is my story. You see, the young Marshall was at the zoo, eating a banana...",0 15759,Can... I... borrow... an adult diaper?,3 15760,"I teach architecture. Get 50% off so, that's pretty sweet.

Jeanette,",1 15833,"Hey, don't you have a paper to write?",1 15834,"Marshall, the chain of screaming is a real thing. Arthur screamed at you... now you have to scream at someone else.",0 15835,You can see the mini pig?,4 15836,Yes.,2 15837,"Damn it, I know what happened.",4 15838,"Café l'amour. (Ted and Robin laugh) Brad says the food is really good there, okay?",3 15839,These look kinda like bl*od.,2 15840,What are you doing?,1 15841,Picture a well-,1 15842,"Then I held her tight and told her it was all gonna be okay. By the way, I think I only wounded the spider. It crawled off into my bedroom.",1 15843,What do you want?,0 15844,"That's what I tell my son. If I am fortunate to have a son, I will call Rashad Tarkenton.",4 15845,"Oh, my God. I just want you inside of me.",4 15846,"Yes, perfect! And then you're engaged, you pop the champagne! You drink a toast! You have sex on the kitchen floor... Don't have sex on our kitchen floor.",1 15847,Her idea.,3 15848,"Oh, I actually think he's quite intelligent for what he is.",3 15849,"Whenever Ted's friend Punchy comes into town, it's like, all of a sudden, Ted's in high school again.",2 15850,Mm-hmm. And yes... we can.

Okay, quick,",1 15895,"It's true. We went out together, but... we have moved on.And we got what we wanted. I marry, You have the job of your dreams in Tokyo. And they lived happily...",1 15896,"Yeah, she did.",0 15897,And why you smoke there?,1 15898,"I don't know, Barney. I don't recognize any of these women. I mean, some minor celebrities, one government official, and what appears to be a national fast food chain mascot.",2 15899,"No, don't think. Do.",0 15900,Stop it. Stop looking at me like I'm the only person in the world who matters. I'm not designing the GNB Tower.,1 15901,"Me too. And snacks, but that's all. You know what we should do? Buy a third bed to make love.",3 15902,Yes! In your face! Not my face... your face!,0 15903,It just doesn't seem like it. You won't share your food. You won't wear a costume.,2 15904,"It's okay, Mom. I don't need it.",0 15905,Hey.,4 15906,Rashad Tarkenton.,4 15907,"Look, I don't hate all of it. Tonight's fun. Take a look around. I mean, this is pretty high-class.",3 15908,And it's the size of a potato.,3 15909,"Hey, Penelope, have you, uh, have you ever actually seen a rain dance performed?",1 15910,How long have you been sitting there?,3 15911,No.,1 15912,"Ted, many women have a period kleptomaniac. And yes, maybe sometimes they happen to mow a small object because it excites them in a strange way they are not explained. But... If it reassures you, I will accompany them to GNB, tomorrow. I will say that I'm going to lunch with Marshall, but in fact I espionnerai.",2 15913,"I mean, I put an online auction and I won the next day and I was accepted. I have just finalized all the paperwork.",1 15914,Yeah. That little guy saw some stuff i'm not proud of.,0 15915,Canada isn't across the Atlantic.,4 15916,"No, I just didn't know how to answer because we did butlered hors deouvres in the atrium, but the actual dinner was a buffet in the food court featuring a filet mignon or roasted potato-crusted salmon with a lobster scallion ber blanc.",4 15917,"Uh, I, I have to tell you something.",4 15918,You know I won't.,0 15919,"Well, beers, what do you want to do? Stay here, or I know this other place called my belly.",1 15920,"Instead of stuffing, I'm going to fill the turkey with... a slightly smaller turkey. It's called a Turturkeykey!",1 15921,Wait a minute. You're going to handle two girls at once? You do not think you should pick one before it gets too serious?,2 15922,You're friendly. I haven't eaten dinner yet. Is there anything to eat in this thing?,4 15923,I'll allow it!,3 15924,"No, it's not what happens. Tuck, Mrs. Matsen. Delighted to have you review, Stella.",1 15925,"Yes, that's what I meant by "you know." I haven't seen her in three weeks. She won't return my calls. Look, I shouldn't go.",1 15926,Remember? (showing the Mc Laren's bar),1 15927,"Ooh, that's one too many. What's going on?",2 15928,"No, how you've arrived there.",0 15929,"Yeah, that was good.",1 15930,"Oh. Look, coffee and dessert?",1 15931,Oh my god. I'm never brushing my teeth again unless it's with a toothbrush made from this burger.,1 15932,"You know, Barney, for anyone else, this would be a new low, but sadly, for you, it's just a new middle. Oh, my God, I used her lipstick! Ah!",2 15933,"Uh, okay. Bye. (She hangs up) Marshall just lied. Ted's cheating on me.",4 15934,"Fine! You want it to be a chain of screaming, it's a chain of screaming. I came up with the circle idea halfway through, 'cause I thought it was a more elegant metaphor, but fine, ruin it! You guys always undermine me when I'm trying to make a point, and I'm sick of it! God, I'm surrounded by idiots! Idiots! See, doesn't everyone feel better now?",0 15935,Who are you?,4 15936,"Ah, yes... the sweet, smoky taste of victory.",3 15937,"No, I recognize a lost cause, when I see it. That's why I'm not recycle. In addition, Ted getting married, it is my interest. You know...",0 15938,You're not gonna like it.,4 15939,What happened to your leg?,2 15940,Since when do you guys know each other?,1 15941,He's doing very well.,3 15942,"Lily, how old am I?",3 15943,Do you want me to go with you because you're a lot scared?,2 15944,"No, not really.",0 15945,That's great.,1 15946,No. It was just love to do more fighting.,1 15947,"Not the Barnacle. I always look awesome mortally. Not like Marshall, who seems to be ingeniously death.",0 15948,Those with a show at 5am?,2 15949,Epousvantable?,4 15950,"Well, no, no, no. you can't leave.",3 15951,"It will perhaps shock you Barney, but people do not like lying to them.",1 15952,"Where are you going, buddy? Hot date?",1 15953,Drank nothing but Tantrum.,3 15954,It's odd that we all still be friends with Barney.,1 15955,The Robin.,0 15956,"Look at these guys, individually. These geniuses are not childless by choice, my friend.",4 15957,Answer to no one.,0 15958,Not entirely.,2 15959,Right? I told you so.,0 15960,Can I do that?,1 15961,"Ted, I have a great idea.",4 15962,"Hi, Arthur.",4 15963,And?,3 15964,Why wasn't I told about the belt? I could go for the belt.,3 15965,"Oh, the Popover Pantry! That place is great. Can we go get brunch tomorrow?",4 15966,"Oh, you know what? That's just getting distracting. Um, say "carrots and peas". Carrots and peas. Guys, I can't stop staring at that girl's face.",0 15967,You have made us break up?,1 15968,"...and I had this little speech in my head. Everything I've been wanting to say to her all summer about love, loyalty, respect. I knocked on the door. (A man is opening the door and Marshall is punching him in the face).",3 15969,"You stop my chick. (She removes the cigarette from his hands) I know I did not call you chick normally, but it does with that voice. Chick.",2 15970,"oh, that's not good.",1 15971,"You're right, Ted. I'm just making that up.",0 15972,No problem.,3 15973,Quick question.,0 15974,Thank you.,4 15975,It's working.,2 15976,Yeah.,1 15977,"No. Why, is that so odd?",1 15978,"And once I figured it out, I started doing crazy stuff to see how far you'd let me go. [...]Hey, guys. This is Rex. He's a possum. I found him in the trash. He lives with us now.",3 15979,I withdraw the question.,3 15980,Shh...,3 15981,You brought an overnight bag?,2 15982,"So, hi... I'm Ted.",1 15983,... Mom.,2 15984,Why aren't you inside?,3 15985,No. And you?,4 15986,"So, um, what are you gonna do with Mabel?",4 15987,Because they understand that it's healthy for us to do that from time to time.,0 15988,Because of our thing.,0 15989,What do you mean?,4 15990,"Hey, I got an idea how to pass the time. A little trivia game. Robin, reindeer: real or fake?",3 15991,"No, something that's true-- come on. The man made you cry. Make me cry.",0 15992,(Toasting) To my fiancé!,3 15993,"Aw, yeah. Maybe adoption.",3 15994,"Oh no, no, it does that.",3 15995,"Not so fast, Scherbotsky. I like the way you think. That mirror thing. Simple. Elegant. Okay, limited-time offer: I need a "bro" for my bro-ings on about town. How would you like to be said bro?",0 15996,"Well, anything sounds weird if you say it a hundred times. Bowl. Bowl. Bowl.",1 15997,"It's not an anecdote, it's a porno.",1 15998,"And then who knows? Maybe in 40 years, if you have not found anyone...",0 15999,Thanks for calling friends.,4 16000,"It's pathetic. It's Saturday night. We should get drunk in a bar. I know this sounds depressing, almost tragic, but it is a fact.",3 16001,"Okay, Barney. What's this going to cost me?",1 16002,Damn.,3 16003,Thank you Barney.,1 16004,It's okay. They're my friends.,4 16005,"Uh, listen, can I speak to you outside for a sec?",1 16006,"Go, Barney. Go mount and stuff that cougar.",3 16007,I'll do it for the child.,3 16008,Wooden beams immersed in natural light from the atrium.They will love it!,1 16009,You do magic. How is juggling any lamer than magic?,1 16010,That's exactly what happened. It was all good. Even the thing with nunchakus.,0 16011,Or we could just drink wine.,4 16012,That's it. Barnacle out. (Barney walks away),0 16013,Ah... Valentines. The second base of third grade. I always got a Valentine from every single girl in my class.,0 16014,You should have thought before b*at them.,3 16015,I take my costume. It is expensive. Just tie...,0 16016,"OK, I'm flipping. Heads or tails.",1 16017,"How do you say? I entered and he was naked. It was funny. I laughed, he laughed. And then it happened. I know not.",4 16018,"Oh, well maybe that's just 'cause you haven't seen me play.",2 16019,Slapsgiving.,3 16020,"Yeah, in America, but German guys? Whew! I would let them bread my schnitzel any day, if you know what I mean.",4 16021,I thought "Superman.",0 16022,"I was an idiot. It was my first real girlfriend. I was crazy about her. We've all done things we regret in college. In the third year, Marshall has grown the goatee, wearing a beret and Rasta required to be called MJ Cool.",1 16023,"Ah, make yourself at home. Please get comfortable. If you see something you like, just take it.",0 16024,"Lily, you're a psychopath.",1 16025,"Well I didn't think we'd be on a flying to Philadelphia when I woke up this morning, I'll give you that.",1 16026,"I do not! Shut up! Oh, my God!",2 16027,Guess who just got four tickets to the "Origins of Chewbacca" Star Wars exhibit?,0 16028,And I'm unreasonably-small-mouth-opening girl.,2 16029,Questions?,2 16030,What will Lily say when you learn that you smoked?,1 16031,I have not spoken to him in 3 years and I want to start now.,4 16032,I'm so excited Victoria's coming.,2 16033,"I know why they are given all the attention. In fact, it's me, the real hero.",3 16034,Yes. Hello?,3 16035,"Yeah, but that's the problem. Ted did not say "I love you" as easily as we thought.",3 16036,It's not me who cried during the song Clint.,4 16037,"Actually, I was talking to my martini.",4 16038,"Wait, you're gonna slap me on Thanksgiving?",0 16039,That's not the plan. And how would that help me with Stella?,1 16040,"That's how it goes boy, every relationship has a low and high.",4 16041,"Yeah, some people just can't take a hint. By the way, I'm really swamped in here.",2 16042,Are you sure you did it right?,3 16043,"Ooh, ooh, ooh!",2 16044,"I know. I'm sorry. But you guys just don't understand. The fact that he kept the band going...that's impressive! I mean, I gave up my musical dream.",4 16045,"So, trust me, you want to postpone knowing anything about each other for as long as possible.",0 16046,"What? I forgot, I'm blond. I have blonde hair.",1 16047,""Plane food is ass." Those are the last words my father will ever say to me. Right after I denied the man a pork chop. Oh, God. Wait! I'm wrong! I'm wrong! That wasn't it! They couldn't find a cab so my dad called up from the street.",3 16048,"Congratulations, buddy.",3 16049,"Oh, that's a great idea. I think I have some Jerky Boys.",1 16050,"I just wanted you to think I had the life you wanted for me. I wanted you to be proud of me. It sounds crazy, and I'm sorry, Mom.",0 16051,"Baby, you can wash it?",2 16052,"I have a problem, it was my wife. The first time I spoke to you, she thought you were a man, so...",3 16053,I'm a veterinarian.,1 16054,Hello?,1 16055,What is a Zamboni with 2 hands?,2 16056,I thought you were shaving your face!,2 16057,Well. I only had traveler's checks.,0 16058,"Wait, wait, wait, no, no, no! I remember that. I was not checking out a girl.",1 16059,"Dude, I read a magazine at work every day. I will not say how many meetings where I was late because I 'was reading a magazine. " But I'm not ashamed of that. This is my moment. Sure, "magazine is read" is not sexy, but you know, this is something I have to do. Why be ashamed? Wait, "read a magazine" that's wank, right?",0 16060,I can not spoil the Tijuana Tuesday.,2 16061,"So, what do you guys want to do for dinner?",1 16062,Where do you wanna hang it?,3 16063,"You know what, in some countries, if you've been separated for longer than five years, technicall, you're no longer married. I can check it out at the law library at school.",3 16064,(Whispers) Philly!,0 16065,You were there. It was the...,3 16066,"Ah, sweet damn, that's a hot plate.",2 16067,"So, I'm Ted.",1 16068,I know. Daddy's home. And Granddaddy's home! Tonight rocks so hard!,0 16069,"That's awesome, Ted.",2 16070,How many days are in october?,1 16071,"It's always the one in the turtleneck, Ted. And no, I don't want to play. Stupid Marshall-... ruined everything.",0 16072,"But the guy is really great. And his kid's sweet, he's in my class.",2 16073,"Yeah, but she's still in town.",3 16074,"Good luck, dude. Grab me a cupcake.",3 16075,Oh.,2 16076,"I know. I would've done it for free. But, no. You owe me ten bucks.",0 16077,"Where's the poop, Robin?",2 16078,You really want to slap Barney the point of lying and pretending to be in love with me?,4 16079,Oh good. I don't know why people are so cynical about Ewoks. The Rebellion would have failed without the Ewoks.,3 16080,Define the relationship.,2 16081,Hey Tiffany!,1 16082,Yes you do. Seeing him with someone else and crying about it. Guess what? That's how you feel. That is nothing but how you feel.,2 16083,"At least in that scenario, you get to do the dumping. Come on, it's Sunday, it's pancakes day!",1 16084,He is pinball.,1 16085,It sounds like your mother kept your child's room as you had left.,2 16086,Normal Marshall dies at age 68.,1 16087,That's Marissa Heller. She is pretty.,1 16088,Whoa! Lighting change!,1 16089,"Guys, Lily and Marshall haven't been to the bar all week. They're taking this really hard.",1 16090,"Because it's illegal, Ted!",3 16091,"Oh, God. Okay, listen. When we meet them, we have to keep it together. Can you keep it together?!",3 16092,"My God, you're right. This fruit has changed in immaculate slap-poisoned apple. You know what? Seriously, do it.",4 16093,He is or not?,1 16094,"Well, congratulations. You're the first person to cheer him up all summer. You win.",1 16095,"I'm something stupid, do me.",1 16096,"No, we don't. He's just starting to get better. Going out with Barney. How do you think he'll feel when he hears Lily's moved on?",4 16097,So I take it you've tried the Corner Bistro.,4 16098,It was said not this time.,2 16099,"No. Mary's just a paralegal who lives in my building. Oh-- ha-ha! And here's the best part-- she has no idea that Ted thinks she's a hooker. Oh, come on. If you don't laugh, it just seems mean.",0 16100,"What, baby?",2 16101,Mr. Druthers asked if you were making the trees or waiting for them to sprout on their own. Then he stared at me until I laughed.,2 16102,"Yeah, totally.",3 16103,empty.,4 16104,"I speak of New Jersey in general, not the basement. She wants me moved? I do not get it. It was discussed there for months.",1 16105,"No, Dude. This is dowisetrepla.",3 16106,You lied to me all night for your own selfish reasons? Daddy...!,0 16107,And you've had the best burger in New York?,4 16108,"It's so good to be home. Mom, Lily, good job. "Good meat, good food, good Lord, to the food. "No? OK, let's go. Put your glasses. (Everyone dons glasses and takes out a sword Marshall Green) Okay, pass me the plate. Lily, white or red meat?",3 16109,Day's not over.,2 16110,"Oh, come on.",4 16111,"I know. Forgetting to send the photo. That poor sculptor had to work from memory. Those statues probably look nothing like us. Damn it, Mom!",0 16112,I'm so relieved to hear you say that.,0 16113,I have any cash.,1 16114,"Pssh, nah...",1 16115,"If people don't know their place, nobody's happy.",2 16116,"I agree. In fact... I even wrote another letter. Dear Barney the future, you think you want to get Robin, thou wilt not true. Let her. Sincerely, Barney's past.",0 16117,I'll allow it.,3 16118,Victoria was great.,1 16119,"Seriously, Barney, from what I've lived with Stella, I have this opportunity... it touches me.",1 16120,Yeah? And I'd sure love to give a rat's ass.,3 16121,"Hey, so, today at work...",1 16122,Hey.,2 16123,"Why, I didn't check a coat. And even if I did, on principle tip jars have become so...",0 16124,See? Skid-proof.,0 16125,"All right, I'll give it back if you show him your plans.",2 16126,Let's go.,1 16127,"I can not believe they're smoking outside, it's really cold.",1 16128,"Well, I-I don't want to go if it would make you uncomfortable.",2 16129,"Um, you know, Ted is kinda against g*n.Robin (turning to Marshall, her g*n still in her hand): That's why Ted never gonna find out about this. Whoa! That sort of got scary with me holding a g*n, didn't it? No, I just mean, please don't tell Ted. You wanna try?",3 16130,What the hell?,1 16131,They're gonna landmark the hell out of that place.,4 16132,Tips to captain the football team because he gave you his ring and you were so cute in your evening gown?,4 16133,We are two peas.,0 16134,I am so sorry. It's a sickness. I'm the real v*ctim here.,0 16135,"Hi, Colleen.",0 16136,"What? Oh, it will try with the girl holding the burger there.",1 16137,Boo... freakin'...,1 16138,"Speaking of which, Victoria, have you decided what to do about your doughnut fellowship?",4 16139,I do not care.,4 16140,"Yeah. I just, um... I have to run to the bathroom real quick.",1 16141,I'll be waiting by the phone for your apology.,0 16142,"I could be more unfortunate. All night, she goes back on me. I brought her back home and she runs away? When I loose a daughter, I am polite to sleep with her before. It is good manners.",0 16143,"With an eye on the horizon, a look at the truth, and an eye on you all.",4 16144,I'm not afraid of Sasquatch. I just think we should all be on alert.,3 16145,"I never, never slept with a barmaid sexy, until tonight.",0 16146,How are you?,1 16147,Bowl.,1 16148,"Hey. So, are you going to be okay hanging out with Victoria tonight?",2 16149,Or so I tried the jump?,0 16150,But not play well enough. All this week was a waste of time. And tomorrow I'm getting fired.,0 16151,"I would have done that too, if I went to a barbecue.Slim, I went there.",0 16152,"Hey, this may sound weird but it'll definitely sound more weird once my shirt's off so I'm gonna ask you now. Do you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night?",1 16153,Is there a part of you that wants to try again?,0 16154,What?,3 16155,Does your mom make stuff like that up a lot?,3 16156,"Oh, I guess I did. You know why? I've invented a new holiday: Slapsgiving. It's the one day we set aside each year to gather together and give slaps.",3 16157,Decided!,3 16158,"Starry Porten, Barney Stinson.",0 16159,"Hey, Robin, do you want to go get a Korean massage on Saturday?",2 16160,"Ted, up here.",4 16161,(On Phone) It's Robin.,4 16162,Oh my God.,1 16163,"But that is not the point. I mean, you broke the first rule of setting people up: undersell. It's like, if someone's never seen The Karate Kid, you don't say, "It's the greatest movie ever." You say, "Uh, it's pretty good" And then they see it, it blows their freakin' mind. Because Cobra Kai sensei's all like, "Sweep the leg!" And Daniel-san's all like... (high-pitched vocalizations, (mitates whooshing sounds)",1 16164,She looks happy? She talked about me? I do not care.Where are the almonds?,1 16165,"Sorry, Mr. Madsen.",2 16166,"Actually, Virginia and I spent a special time in 2006.Before Clint.",0 16167,Read it.,3 16168,"No. Look, I know this night isn't turning out the way I planned, but...",1 16169,Or "Casual"?,1 16170,"Thank you, The Captain.",3 16171,Oh my God. Are you gonna cry? Marshall: No. You're gonna cry.,0 16172,What about Lily?,3 16173,What? What's gone?,1 16174,You must learn to express your feelings. Perhaps you should see a psychiatrist.,2 16175,"Hey, excuse me. Did I sleep with you and then totally screw you over?",0 16176,Robin is not in p*rn. I'll bet you anything that she's married.,3 16177,No.,1 16178,I wish your eyeballs would explode.,3 16179,"Now, notice the vacant eyes, the pale, queasy expression, suggesting nausea. What do these mean?",1 16180,You just made that up.,3 16181,"Hey, random question: how do you feel cats?",1 16182,"Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, well, go ahead. We'll, uh, we'll wait.",1 16183,Hey!,3 16184,"No place I'd rather be, no one I'd rather b... (phone rings) baaah... for Pete's sake. (picks up in the kitchen) You're a HOT chick? (to the skater) Sayonara.",0 16185,Uhh... because he's getting laid.,0 16186,"What? That's crazy, I haven't been staring at any girl...",1 16187,"What are we doing wrong? We love. If it does not work, what then? We are so similar.",4 16188,Please stop calling yourself "Papa.",2 16189,"Besides, they have a spa. What kind of treatments do you offer?",2 16190,"You wanna be single? (Laughs) You wanna fight off loser guys all night, does that seem like fun to you?",4 16191,A drum circle! They're different every time. Let's go watch!,4 16192,"Shh! Shh! Look how cute she looks. All tuckered out. Hey, babe. Hey, little one. Hey, Lilypad.",3 16193,I think you've been great.,3 16194,"Great, see you tonight. (hangs up. Looks to Marshall) So that was Robin.

(He turns to Barney who disappeared). How did you do that?",3 16218,What do you mean "too"?,0 16219,"Baby, it's Santa. Don't you want our kids going to sleep on Christmas Eve with their hearts full of hope, their heads full of crazy cough syrup nightmares, knowing that downstairs Kris Kringle is stuffing their stockings full of joy and stuffing his belly full of milk and lutefisk that they left him?",3 16220,"Put a bell around my neck and scratch my belly kids, for i am just a docile housecat now. Miaou!",0 16221,"Yes, you are, with the hottie that just walked in. Look at her.",0 16222,"To get that last one, you'd have to break into the Smithsonian.",2 16223,"Hey, if my bed's going suit up, it's going to do it right. Want to give it a whirl?",0 16224,Sorry. Go back to sleep.,1 16225,"And seriously, mouthwash after coffee.",2 16226,"It's this awesome site where students can go say what they really think about their professors. Hey, you're probably on there.",3 16227,"Barney, come on, this is important. We need you around for a long time. Without you, we'd have to find some other sex-fueled, depraved animal to entertain us.",1 16228,What do you mean?,0 16229,"And even though that girl ended up giving me a fake number, I knew that Ted and I would be each other's wingmen forever.",0 16230,"That's great, I'm all baseball. Mookie Wilson, while a player eh?",4 16231,"Right. On this subject... After breaking up with this guy, we went out, we slept since we're together. It's really okay, this time it's different. Here it is. Be nice!",1 16232,"Come on, it does not really work, though?",4 16233,"Apparently, Uncle Marshall and his brothers did more than fight.",3 16234,What did you say?,3 16235,"Look at me. I promise, I would not fall in love with your roommate.",1 16236,Because...,2 16237,The calzone?,0 16238,"Drum roll, please. I was... Drunk!",3 16239,"Well, thank you for acknowledging it. It was weird that you hadn't. Look, I understand that you guys had to break up eventually, but why today?",3 16240,I paid the taxi.,4 16241,"Hi, guys.",1 16242,No. (screams) No!,0 16243,Please tell me we can drink the wine now.,2 16244,What...,1 16245,"You know, for a turtle, he's surprisingly quick.",1 16246,"Still looking for that CD, so...",1 16247,"Hey, guys. A yuletide riddle. What is my second favorite word that begins with b-o-n?",0 16248,It invites you to come out? Say yes! Say yes!,3 16249,Fine. It's Bill Pepper.,4 16250,It was carved in strategic places.,1 16251,We're going.,3 16252,"You're not Moby, are you?",1 16253,Timeout. You do not like fish?,3 16254,You think I should not marry Stella. You think I should not marry.,1 16255,"My fiancé...suddenly, she's my fiancé.",3 16256,"No, it shouldn't be a landmark. There are a lot of important buildings in New York. The Arcadian isn't one of them.",1 16257,It's been 4 months since you broke up with Barney. It's time to get back on the market.,2 16258,Why are you angry against me?,0 16259,"No, I need you to clarify a situation for me.",2 16260,"Stay with me. It's going to come to me. No. Ah, okay, here's the point. You thought that Mary was a sure thing, right? So what happened? She took you up to a hotel room on the first date. All you have to do is be that confident with every girl you meet and your slump is over.",0 16261,"Yeah, it won't be weird.",0 16262,"Wait... hey, baby, why are you facing me north? You're trying to make us have a boy.",2 16263,Did you just say a "rain dance"?,0 16264,Of course. Back to the pizza place!,3 16265,You hitting that?,2 16266,"No, it's more than that. I stopped believing. Not like some depressed, I cry during my speech. Not the way I had not even noticed, until tonight. It's just that every day I think I believe a little less and a little less and less. And... it sucks. What should I do about it, Scherbatsky?",1 16267,Sure. We were all agreed that it was a guy who had b*at and that you had nothing to do with it...,3 16268,How could you?,1 16269,"Wait, there's more.",0 16270,"Yeah, with some sort of catchy name.",4 16271,Wow. A pedicure.,1 16272,This moment is fleeting because it's being chased by another moment.,3 16273,"He's not usually this bad. It's just that the partners have made it very clear this project is make or break for us, so lately he's been a little testy. (The girls giggle) You know what I mean: crotchety. (Giggles) I'm just saying it's been hard on him. (More giggles). All right stop.",1 16274,"So we should make lots of Star Wars references around girls, that's what you're saying?",1 16275,It's your family. And I'm sorry but we do not separate the family.,3 16276,I am beautiful.,3 16277,Whoa. He's staying here? You're staying here?,4 16278,"That brings us to the second night. You see the b*mb that pampers its Black Russian (Vodka and coffee liqueur)? She left to exchange it with a White American. Enter me five! You know... If you're not careful, you'll lose me.",0 16279,"Yeah, well, what am I supposed to do?",1 16280,"Wait, you said you'd never recalled.",4 16281,How dare you? These hips can...,3 16282,"I totally checked 'plus one', I'm sure I did.",1 16283,Does anyone else have a...? Yes?,4 16284,But he left his phone.,1 16285,"Yeah, that's the stuff.",4 16286,"So what's this big, beautiful romantic gesture?",2 16287,The ballet class.,0 16288,"Brace yourself, dude. This is gonna blow your mind hold.",3 16289,(Subtitle) There's Kelly. (Leads them through the crowd),4 16290,"What's this? Lily: My coffeemaker from my apartment. Makes great coffee, right?",1 16291,"Hi, Honey, I'm Ted.",1 16292,You've stolen the Ca sock Jeremy.,1 16293,You eat cookies and you glue stuff. And other disputes are parties. Until there is so much we can no longer follow.,3 16294,Handsome.,4 16295,Yeah. Ted.,2 16296,The best memories of our 20 years were held in it. It's not that throw stuff in a box. You look back at the past.,1 16297,"But um, it would seem, she often said.",1 16298,"Look, um, you guys have always been like the parents that I still have and, in fact, moved here to get away from. However, could we skip the traditional interrogation of the new girlfriend tonight?",1 16299,You're not in it.,1 16300,I will do what?,4 16301,"Baby, you have my full support.",2 16302,I love you.,0 16303,...unless she's hot [...]...unless she's hot [...]...unless she's hot.,0 16304,Really? 'Cause it feels more like my insane friend renting a costume and breaking into my apartment in the middle of the night for what I wish I could say was the first time.,1 16305,We're both zero for that. But... I think we need to change.Why do not I would start? You are really hurtful and reckless.Goodbye.,1 16306,"Have fun, Barnacle.",1 16307,You know what else? My younger sister just got married and I'm about to turn thirty-sex. Fantastic.,0 16308,"Yes, really.",3 16309,What happened to your leg?,2 16310,"Okay, it's the National Resource Defense Council, and it's my dream job. Except it's only an internship, and I won't be getting paid. Mostly getting people coffee. But the people I'm getting coffee for... their bosses are going to save the world.",3 16311,Would you jealous of the attention? Imagined would be the sexiest girl in the bar?,1 16312,you should be a reality show.,4 16313,Lily.,3 16314,"That's the trick. I hug you, no. Who would not want to cuddle in this case, on Sunday morning? Wrapped in the quilt while it is raining, and there are muffins in the oven. I'm cuddly, bitch. You must do.",3 16315,"Absolutely. Looks there's two sides to dating, right? Picking and getting picked. Getting picked, I'm good at. Ladies looove Teddy Westside.",1 16316,Want to...,3 16317,"Uh, yeah.",1 16318,"Well, you didn't ruin it; you made it so much worse! I can't eat. I can't sleep. I've lost ten pounds; my suits are wearing me. You know what? I'm outta here.",0 16319,(On TV) In your past sixteen years on the job what is your most exciting memory?,4 16320,"Lily, Ted is our best friend, so let's get something straight: Male Gayle is not hot. He's not our friend. Don't even look at him. Just... no eye contact.",3 16321,What?,4 16322,What?,2 16323,"No, but I was just at party number three.",2 16324,"So, Marshall. This "Olive Theory" based on you and Lily?",0 16325,So a chimpanzee wearing two tuxedos?,4 16326,No.,4 16327,OK Victoria's Secret party right now.,0 16328,"Oh, there you are. Robin, I owe you a huge apology.",2 16329,"No, I was just going to say maybe we should listen to something.",2 16330,"Crocodile Dundee III is the second-best of the Croc trilogy, so maybe I can live with that. (cell phone beeps) Oh, sorry, my phone's charged.",3 16331,"My brother, lay your hand on the box tops and repeat after me. Me, the false name you give to women.",0 16332,"At 8, he took me hunting for the first time. I want to sh**t a deer.",4 16333,"Man, she's gonna cry.",1 16334,Big-time.,0 16335,What? Where?,0 16336,"Hello, Lori, me, this is Ted. I will be your customer tonight.Before leaving, tell me. What is a k*ll in a wheat field? No index.",1 16337,The nostrils dilated. They do it when she gets mad. I love it. As now. Like now!,0 16338,You love me?,4 16339,And I would not slap?,4 16340,Only three.,0 16341,Sports-man. I heard people talking about your club.,0 16342,"I know, i know but he used to play hockey, and i'm canadian. I can't help it. If he were missing some teeth, i probably would have already hit that.",4 16343,Until we found out that Lily was allergic to barrel resin,3 16344,"You demand!? No, no, no, no, no... he does not demand. We... we... we have no demands!",1 16345,"No, no, no. It's totally anthropological and it's cool and I'm doing it.",3 16346,I love you.,4 16347,"They won't go away until you overwrite them with images of other women's boobs. Now, this journey may take as many as a million boobs so we begin here tonight my friend. Two at the time. Those count as four.",0 16348,Silence embarrassed. Tope then.,0 16349,"No, guys. I came home from work on foot. Through Central Park, and I stopped at the zoo.",3 16350,Nothing but respect for that man.,0 16351,Just as I did!,2 16352,A fi...? In what moon man language is that a five?,0 16353,"Okay! Well! Well, just remember that we all did stupid stuff in our lives, okay? For example, once I tried to cycle on an extension ladder to a roof of a two-story house. The only question is I was a kid or drunk? Drum roll, please.",3 16354,... no one sits at our table.,0 16355,"Uh, no. Back-Back to Cleveland.",1 16356,You loved them.,1 16357,Yeah.,1 16358,"The biggest. In fact, I must tell you something. I invited Jenkins.",3 16359,"You know, you could have just told me it was for Bob.",1 16360,"And you're happy for, like, a second, until you realize the building you helped save has just become a monument to everything this woman made you give up, and you resent her for it, so much so, in fact, that you dump her.",4 16361,The answer might surprise you. It's all rodents.,4 16362,"I'm sorry, Lily. I'm so sorry. Take us to the hospital.",3 16363,"Wait, does that mean that I'm a manatee right now?",4 16364,You don't want to see me when I'm angry!,3 16365,Totally! I can't believe I almost didn't come tonight.,3 16366,The teacher who is watching. This is the only one who passes the whole movie in a suit.,0 16367,Bait?,2 16368,I'll get the ketchup.,1 16369,"That's 'cause you're always like... (Dully) "Ted Mosby, architect". If it were me, I'd be like... (Confidently) "Ted Mosby, architect". Anything sounds impressive when it's said with the right attitude.",0 16370,"Actually, I came to see you.",4 16371,Totally get some.,1 16372,Absolutely. Just let me run up and get my bag of vet supplies. Okay. Why would I say that?,1 16373,Me? You dragged me into this?!,3 16374,"Baby, please don't ever take that ring off again. No matter how awesome I say that it is.",3 16375,"Well, that was kind of presumptuous.",1 16376,This conversation never happened.,0 16377,What the hell is that?,4 16378,The penguins?,3 16379,"OK (She leaves the grocery store, coffee in hand. In his bed while sleeping Marshall)... You dirty bastard! (It returns in pajamas to the grocery store) It was not decaf!",2 16380,We saw the fifth lookalike!,2 16381,Yes. Hello?,3 16382,Well.,3 16383,"Yeah. Okay, get that camera out of my face before I flip you like a cheese omelet.",3 16384,Marshall.,0 16385,Looks like that French maid didn't turn down somebody's bed.,1 16386,""Immediately switch the conversation To one of the following, "unless you want Robin to start throwing her shoes."",2 16387,Hershey squirts.,1 16388,Unbelievable.,1 16389,I know. You should tell them that you are not fooled.,4 16390,"Ted, you've been living your whole life in a seatbelt. It's time to unclick. (Unclicks)",0 16391,"We've tried everything. Baseball, strippers. The guy still won't eat a damn pancake. I think he's beyond repair.",1 16392,The poor girls... and Ted. I want to give them a hug.,2 16393,This is ridiculous.,1 16394,You got nothing on me.,2 16395,What? You said it was fine.,4 16396,I dont' know... Robin and I broke up two weeks ago. I'm... I'm not ready.,1 16397,So what you did last night?,2 16398,"Well, clearly i wasn't!",1 16399,I'm going to get the bouquet. You guys get the veil. We'll meet in the chapel in 20 minutes. Ready? Break. (She leaves),2 16400,"Look, who are we kidding? You and I are both attracted to each other. We're young, we're drunk, half of us anyway. And we only get one life.",1 16401,"First of all, Robin, my dad could b*at up your dad. Second, you don't have to worry. He's cool. Now if you'll excuse me... I have to go renew my passport, and get a travel-sized rotating Vietnamese Shame Wheel. Don't ask; you're not ready.",0 16402,Is "boy" the right word?,4 16403,"I said, "shipper".",2 16404,You knew that Robin was in mourning? It looked good after the break.,3 16405,That's crazy. They're not edging me out. Marshall's my best friend.,1 16406,"I think if I had to really say, maybe I'm strong.",2 16407,"What I'm saying is, there's a version of you without Lily and... It's not this. You can't let Lily stole your identity the way that guy stole hers.",1 16408,Bluntly.,1 16409,Sweetie? Are you okay?,2 16410,Now that we need is a motive. The million dollar question what were they fighting about?,1 16411,"Oh, no, I actually feel great. It is kind of warm in here, though, isn't it?",3 16412,It was cute.,2 16413,"And that was it, probably never see her again. (Silence) What?",1 16414,"We'll have fun. (At the bar...) I ranked the presidents in order of disloyalty. A: Johnson. Two: Bush. Three Harding.Four: Polk. (At the apartment...) This circle represents "Those who break my heart." And this circle represents "Those who constantly undermine my confidence. "And where they meet: Cecilia. (Back at the bar...) This is a pie chart describing my favorite bars. And that is a graph describing my favorite pies.(Ted, Barney and Robin Marshall waiting for a response) What is it?",3 16415,She has beautiful teeth. It should not need the reminder cards to go to the dentist.,3 16416,Hello.,2 16417,Mmm-mm. Me too. So where do you live?,0 16418,(signing) My brother's a great guy. You should give him your phone number.,1 16419,This is the man of the evening. It's time to let the monster out of his cage!,0 16420,What?,4 16421,"This isn't kindergarten. Mr Druthers is an adult, and he wants his ball back.",1 16422,"Hey, by the way, do you like this scarf?",2 16423,"Barney, what are you doing?",1 16424,"First, I get lots of compliments. Then tell her.",1 16425,I'm okay. You okay?,2 16426,"I brought the blue French horn! Ted has just given me.Sorry, I was there before you.",0 16427,(To VIP room doorman. Subtitle) Robin Scherbastky? (Door man shakes head) Robin Scherbatsky! (Doorman refuses. Robin walks away),4 16428,"Oh, no! No, I meant, that Ted Mosby, he really knows what he's doing. Like all Ted Mosbys. (to Marshall) Wow, NRDC! Way to go, Marshall.",4 16429,"In his defense, I had just the muscle.",3 16430,"Wait. Baby, what are you doing?",3 16431,"Oh, I like where this is going.",4 16432,"The towels in the bathroom, a real mess. So, give me 10 minutes... to restore order...",0 16433,I gotta go.,3 16434,That's wrong. That's not Wrong.,3 16435,"*Dah, dah-dah, dah-dah, dah...*",4 16436,"OK, yes, kids are not my favorite thing in the world but I like them.",4 16437,Charge!,3 16438,Me?,2 16439,I do not either.,1 16440,Who speaks it?,4 16441,Guilty.,1 16442,I had totally forgotten that. Marshall and I were together for only a few weeks and you invited me in the photo.,2 16443,Yeah! It's positive racism!,2 16444,Where is it?,2 16445,"So, let's get to work, man. What else do you know about her?",3 16446,I am gonna k*ll Marshall.,1 16447,If people found out Sandy wears a toupee...,4 16448,What?!,0 16449,There's this girl...,1 16450,"It's smoky, with hints of cedar and old... You see the difference between that and tape for $ 10?",1 16451,Not an eight.,0 16452,"Oh, man, we went through a whole case of Tantrum one trip.",3 16453,"Yeah, four years ago, but nobody remembers what the hell a hanging chad is.",2 16454,"Dude, you can't...",1 16455,A cat person. Why am I not surprised?,4 16456,Why does Barney do anything ever?,1 16457,"It was 1998. I was just out of college, and I was working at a coffeehouse with my girlfriend. My girlfriend... *Shannon. Yeah, you were meant for me And I was meant for you. Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh.* Thank you. All right.",0 16458,You OK?,3 16459,You know?,1 16460,"You know something? Mary the paralegal is awesome. And you know what else? I didn't come here tonight to make you jealous, I came here to support you as a friend. And frankly, I'm sick of trying.",1 16461,Really? Sweet.,2 16462,(shrugs) See ya.,1 16463,Holy crap. We got it! What do we do with it?,2 16464,"Robin, he's upset because you wouldn't listen to him, not because you didn't like some movie.",2 16465,It was downright terrifying.,3 16466,Yeah. I guess we're just a threesome tonight.,0 16467,Because... It... It... because I like Mitch. Much. There was a... connection specificity. Specificity and feelings.,4 16468,Your hand is monstrous.,0 16469,"Ooh, good eye, Scherbotsky. I got someone for you. Two o'clock, blue shirt.",0 16470,No way.,4 16471,"You wanted to see me, so I guess that means we're talking again?",3 16472,Lily?,3 16473,"Well, I guess we can come out now. I don't believe it. They're gone.",2 16474,You can trust me.,1 16475,Why does it excite me?,4 16476,"We know, we know, Ted. Well done, this is very impressive. Up top.",2 16477,Abbreviates!,4 16478,Give it!,1 16479,"Yeah, like how Barney's holding these three hours over Ted's head.",2 16480,Who I'll lie. I want the highest "Tope there.",0 16481,I can't un-picture it.,1 16482,Every time.,4 16483,This is nonsense. They are still playing the bagpipes.,4 16484,"Hey, guys.",0 16485,"Wow, weird, pulled out all the toilets at the same time.",3 16486,It gets worse.,3 16487,"Yeah, Lily, listen.",0 16488,What does that have to do with anything?,4 16489,This sucks.,2 16490,I think I need it.,1 16491,I smell pancakes with chocolate?,3 16492,It is this server?,2 16493,"Oh, hi, welcome to the building. Yeah.",3 16494,You see this. Game face.,1 16495,What's wrong?,4 16496,It's just a little something that we got for you that used to belong to my favourite professor of all time.,3 16497,"Ok, but we do not add too. I do not want it to catch proportions.",1 16498,"Marshall and I, we took the decision to have a great...dinner. And I thought I was ready for a... dinner. But he called to cancel, and it got me thinking. Is it too early for us to make a... Dinner?",2 16499,"OK, in a few hours. Have a good flight. Bad news. I can not have it. Robin is gone.",0 16500,"A lot of people... Bedrin the insomniac, who portrays Blongs front of department stores. People to the emergency room where the TV is in a cage, and you can not change channels.",3 16501,Of course.,0 16502,And I forgive you. Now I can have my place and meet Lenny Kravitz?,4 16503,Because the belt is my birthright. You can't claim it before I do. That would be like Jimmy Olsen capturing Lex Luther while Superman watches impotently from the bedroom.,0 16504,Great. Thanks.,1 16505,What the...,0 16506,You're a paralegal.,1 16507,Why are we even talking about this? This is way down the road.,3 16508,I know.,2 16509,Wait. Empty your pockets. Come on.,3 16510,"Robin Scherbatsky, you get the idea of having children?",1 16511,It still seems fast.,2 16512,Daddy's home.,0 16513,No thank you. I play not with aquariums unless they are my two favorite animals: the pilot fish and torturlute. Did you see!,0 16514,"Hey, Don, here's some breaking news: there's a zit breaking ou on your forehead. Finished with that.",4 16515,It's been that Ted did not like someone. He stored much... We thought him to say "I love you" when he contacted her.,3 16516,"Yeah. Listen, Marshall, I-I need to talk to you about something.",2 16517,We've talked about this. It's a fire code violation.,2 16518,"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's peer pressure. We have an assembly every year.",2 16519,What?,3 16520,You know how to make crepes? That is so cool.,1 16521,"Prisoners on the run are not sexy. At the same time it was a faulty concept. Next step, the patient zero.",0 16522,Really?,4 16523,Oh. One example of that springs to mind. I think we all know what it is.,2 16524,"Oh come on. You've gotta give me this one. Those five shots got you farther with Robin than your brain ever did. See what happens when you don't think? You do! More importantly, you do Robin. Come on.",0 16525,Why could you come in? you hear me shaving!,1 16526,False. This has never happened.,4 16527,Yeah.,2 16528,"Now, turn around.",0 16529,"No, no, not again. Not this year. You're going as my wingman. Flight suit up!",0 16530,A collection of snow globes?,3 16531,"Oh, I hate that guy.",1 16532,Hey.,1 16533,"No, they're not. It's just a tantrum, Ted. I saw this in kindergarten all the time.",2 16534,Have you finished?,1 16535,How did that even happen?,0 16536,"Is it true? Claire, you must have heard a lot about the real Barney tonight. Want some coffee?",0 16537,"No, Barney.",2 16538,Thank you.,1 16539,"Hey, ho, hey!",0 16540,"I'm sorry, Native American.",0 16541,One for the Road?,4 16542,"That foxy young thing you were chatting up, take her up to the roof and have sex with her! Crazy monkey-style.",0 16543,I'm going shopping after work. I'll pick up some milk.,2 16544,They're talking to a guy now.,4 16545,"My poor. Being forced to grow up in Canada with America, right next door.",0 16546,Yes.,4 16547,"Ted, it's a simile.",0 16548,Funny you should say that.,4 16549,It is not I who make the rules.,0 16550,"Solid C-cup, perky bounce.",1 16551,Really? Dogs like my paintings?,2 16552,"Hey, can I call you sometime? Trudy: OK.",1 16553,Yes?,2 16554,"Lily, I won't, I promise.",3 16555,I prefer to call them "justice khakis.",2 16556,Guys!,1 16557,"And this, my friends, is "the effect cheerleaders." Also known as the paradox of a bridesmaid syndrome sorority, and for a brief moment in the 90s, the conspiracy of the Spice Girls.Scary Spice, indeed. (His phone rings) Barney Stinson. OK.Understood. Great, we remember.",0 16558,"Okay. Oh, hey, you guys want to take five?",1 16559,That's exactly what my mom would say.,4 16560,"I only have one rule. Never, ever, ever meet a girl's parents.",0 16561,Name two places where things get stuffed.,0 16562,Hello.,2 16563,I'd wait.,4 16564,"Oh, she's been waiting tables at Big Wave Luau.",4 16565,"My God, what has happened?",0 16566,Could not,1 16567,You're yucky.,2 16568,"So, the dress?",2 16569,"What's the movie about, anyway?",4 16570,"That's not true. It's just temporarily dislocated. Seriously, I'm fine.",0 16571,"(On Phone) And it's not that I care so much about getting into the VIP room, I have been in tons of VIP rooms, not exactly a VIP room virgin. (You see doormen changing shifts) Seriously, call me back. (Turns around to doorman #2) Oh, um... I was just in there. Robin Scherbatsky, I'm on the list.",4 16572,"So you remember who this one is, right?",0 16573,"Yeah? No way! Oranges, it's for the winners, and you little shits, you have not yet put one basket! Shame on you, shame on you Miss Aldrin, and worse, necks make me ashamed! Enough! su1c1de, on the line! And make it snappy!Here we go.",3 16574,"Sorry, dude, but it is the nightwear most ridiculous I've seen in my life. Finally...",3 16575,"Hey, Ted. You ready to, um... Where'd the goat turd come from?",4 16576,"Yeah, the point is that even though Lily is my soul mate, long distance still almost k*ll us. If you think that there's any chance that Victoria is your soul mate, you should ask her to stay.",3 16577,"Marshall, you're not eating. Did something spoil your slap-petite?",0 16578,"Yeah, pants are off.",0 16579,"But we have seen, which means that the universe in its infinite wisdom, tell me of planting, and apply yourself.",2 16580,It's not it.,3 16581,How was your lunch with the rich? It started well.,4 16582,It has returned to you.,1 16583,"So, who's the eye broccoli?",0 16584,Woow.,0 16585,I know. I understand something is "no ex". Why would we want that history failed to come see one successful?It's like inviting the Seattle Mariners World Series. It's embarrassing for everyone.,3 16586,"You guys, take it easy, guys. Are you sure about this?",3 16587,"No, you don't.",1 16588,How dare you pronounce this name to me?,2 16589,"And then my mother went better. It was miraculous.But I had to keep "Betty" and make a casting to find my son, Tyler.",0 16590,But it was a fake secret.,1 16591,Did? Tell me. You know if he did it?,0 16592,Whoo!!!!!!,2 16593,"Oh, thank God it's just you.",3 16594,"Why would he make a film? It's not him, the villain?",4 16595,"Okay, I'm gonna go pick up Zoey, then we're off. See you Sunday.",1 16596,I know where.,0 16597,I have to quit.,3 16598,A what?,4 16599,Oh (clutches heart),1 16600,It's physically impossible for me to take a picture ugly. I know why. Ask God.,0 16601,"You think about it? You hardly know him. In addition, the guy is a draw with a job that is worthless.",0 16602,"Oh, Sean, look, um, you're a nice guy, but I just don't... No, you're not getting lucky tonight.",4 16603,"Inspiring as always, sir. Lily? Where's she put those paints? (Ted opens one of Lily's desk drawers and find the ball)",1 16604,Why should I tell him about that?,4 16605,She was joking.,3 16606,"Kendall, they're cool.",0 16607,"Hey, I thought we were gonna follow those bread crumbs back to my place, Hansel",4 16608,"She's right. Perhaps you're single and childless, but you're really a redneck dad.",2 16609,You know what they're doing in there right now? They're watching Claire's ultrasound video and I swear to god even the baby looks bored.,3 16610,It's case by case.,4 16611,Hello? Guys? (Marshall looks again and see the Gerards go out their apartment),1 16612,You were never married.,1 16613,Let's go get a snack.,2 16614,"Hold on, I gotta pee. (He stands up et goes to the toilets) Okay, I'm back. What's going on at work?",0 16615,"You called me, said you were never coming back. So, I jumped on a plane, flew across the Atlantic...",0 16616,Yeah.,4 16617,"I'm sorry, did I accidentally oprima numero dos when I called? Do you speak English? I want to see her!",0 16618,"I'm fine, thank you.",0 16619,"They look different, the children, but make sure they feel surrounded.",2 16620,Thank you.,1 16621,"Marshall, if you want to quit your job and go work for the NRDC right now, then you need to do that right now. And then, once you've cleaned up all the oceans and saved the planet... you know, like, a year from now... then we'll start a family.",2 16622,Good news! I'm not a father!,0 16623,"Hey, I'm going to, uh, try to remain cool. But you know Patrick Swayze?!",3 16624,"Fortnight. British words are so cool. Plus, did you know lawyers there get to wear wigs? I wear a wig to work, I'm a jackass.",3 16625,The Alanis Morissette concert.,3 16626,But it doesn't change anything. I still don't wanna get married and he's still... Ted. What I should do is just tell him who Victoria is so he could be happy.,4 16627,"Last night, it was just... I share between work and drunk baby Lily, it was too. I just begin with this job, I work long hours... I love you. And I really want to have children one day.I just want... I want to be ready for that.",3 16628,You went to the hospital?,4 16629,Dude. Feel the room.,3 16630,"Dear Marshall, I know this is a strange way to apologize, but I'm sorry I let Carl name your drink after me.",4 16631,"Ooh, can I do it?",4 16632,Found it! I found Natalie's number.,1 16633,"No, sir, that is what's wrong with this company. How can we say "GNB Cares," and then turn around and treat someone like that? I mean, sure, he made a few mistakes but everybody makes mistakes. Like, like Tugboat here. Aw. I bet you he's made some mistakes. And you didn't fire Tugboat, did you?",3 16634,It's this thing they recommend you do in case one spouse died unexpectedly.,2 16635,Are you guys okay?,1 16636,"Yeah, it is. It's weird.",1 16637,Did you just use my name as a verb?,1 16638,"Uh-huh. I don't believe you, Doctor.",1 16639,You got smoked!,2 16640,"Mary, Ted is a great guy. You hold on to him. Don't let him out of your sight for a minute.",4 16641,What the hell happened here?,1 16642,Mm-hmm.,1 16643,How about that? He did it.,0 16644,She'll have a back rub and a crumpet. She'll be fine. Relax. Have some fun.,1 16645,Dude!,4 16646,"I know what they were fighting about, and it wasn't peanut butter.",4 16647,It's as if you had done.,2 16648,"What? I... Lily, I really don't want to talk about this.",4 16649,Wait 2 seconds! It could easily be Barney who tries to f*ck chicks.,2 16650,When?,2 16651,"(on Phone) Hey, guess where I am? I'm on a... ready? Plane to... ready?...Philadelphia.",1 16652,"Ted, you had to bring a cheesecake, but you've brought two shopping bags and a girl who knows not. My name is Marshall. Welcome. Ted talks.",3 16653,"Well, not unless he somehow passed all his licensing exams.",1 16654,"No, I don't go to malls! Sorry, I just don't like malls.",4 16655,"See, ever since the death of my father, I have been drawn to the idea of preservation. That's why The Arcadian speaks to me.",3 16656,"Okay, a-a week.",3 16657,My hand.,1 16658,"Okay, but PJ does not help.",4 16659,"No, Lily, we cannot pause this anymore. Can you promise me that that's not gonna happen?!",3 16660,I'll wait.,4 16661,Number one: last Thursday.,2 16662,"Oh. You know, we're actually kind of relieved. We were freaking out for about a day and a half there.",3 16663,What?!,0 16664,Great,3 16665,"OK, Regis, we will, we will.",0 16666,"I love you too, Lilypad.",3 16667,The Yeti is not fictitious.,3 16668,"You've been evicted from the Big Brother house. Your dessert just didn't measure up. Sashay away. Give me your jacket and leave Hell's Kitchen. I'm sorry, you did not get a rose. You have been eliminated from the race. You are no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Model. You're fired. Auf Wiedersehen.",0 16669,Mm-hm.,1 16670,"You're gonna lock us in here? Well, guess what? Maybe we'll spend the whole day having sex!",4 16671,"I know what you're all thinking. Who's this cool peer of mine up in front the class?" I know the board says "Professor Mosby," but to you I'm Ted.",1 16672,You can not change the subject like that.,3 16673,"You're f*cked up. He f*cked up, right?",4 16674,"No! Oh you thought that-oh, no! I c-okay yes. You got me-I-(laughs)-one of the reasons I threw these parties was so that I could introduce you to uh-(Barney throws Ted a random guy) this guy. I figured, you know, since it didn't work out between us and now we can just laugh about it (nervously laughs)-Anyway Robin, this is.",1 16675,Sock.,0 16676,"Okay. Bye. (She hungs up) I thought it was mine, so I answered it.",4 16677,"For a while, it was enough to borrow / keep the baby from neighbors. And once at Christmas, my mother was drunk at the grog, I went out with a bag of flour and a Chucky mask.But eventually I had to audition.",0 16678,No.,4 16679,Why would you do that to yourself?,3 16680,"(walks by, phone ringing)Or this one, or this one, or this one...",0 16681,Stop your bullshit.,0 16682,Marshall just ditched out on our own party. Can you get me in there? I kind of need to k*ll him.,2 16683,YESSS.,1 16684,They kiss? They should not! Why it does not work?,2 16685,"Barney, we just don't want to see you get hurt.",4 16686,But a five-year contract. I thought you hated GNB.,2 16687,"Pleased to meet you, Buttercup. I'm Lando Calrissian.",1 16688,You can whip me if you want.,1 16689,"that's great, Ted. You'll be the most "Casual" stalker ever.",2 16690,"Aha, so then the oldest profession would be fishermen. Kaboom! You've been lawyered.",3 16691,We're idiots.,2 16692,"Uh, no, but I would love to buy one of them if... Where can I get one?",4 16693,"Whoa, a hottie with a body! Boing...!",0 16694,It's part of the team.,1 16695,She's happy? Marshall had the worst summer of his life and she's happy. And I suppose her art program was fulfilling or whatever.,1 16696,"oh, i paid for it.",0 16697,"That's right. I am done with this whole being awesome thing. Now I'm all about farmers' markets and day hikes in matching khaki cargo shorts. Isn't that right, sweetie?",0 16698,Ted... I thought you were going to talk to Marshall about coming back to New York.,2 16699,"If you work the costume, they will pay us.",1 16700,The Cold w*r?,1 16701,Go ahead.,3 16702,It's maybe not a break. This is perhaps... two friends... who find themselves.,4 16703,Great. Thanks.,1 16704,When I what?,1 16705,I'm sorry. The answer is no.,0 16706,Me too!,1 16707,So should I wear my hair up or down? Lily.,4 16708,They never arrived at the downtown office.,3 16709,(On Phone) She's uh...,4 16710,Let's go get some dinner.,3 16711,"Ok, you know what, it's good. I'll be a father, and I want to be the kind of man that my child can watch. Therefore, new resolution... I will never drunk! I'm serious!",3 16712,She got the bends!,1 16713,"OK, think about this, is there even a single item on the menu that has garlic in it?",3 16714,Thanks. (She leaves and he throws the drink) Crazy!,0 16715,"Oh, not that much. Now I am a total disaster for all my old high school friends. And a lot of people in Finland are the big stuff. This is why I have to type this toast.",1 16716,You're trying to make us have a girl! You are trying to make us have a girl.,3 16717,So're you gonna ask her out?,3 16718,(On Phone) I guess there's no change your two-dayer turned into a three-dayer.,4 16719,Sort of on a date with her.,0 16720,"It's done. 199 made of, more than one. Have you finished your drink? (He takes the ice in the glass of Ted and puts them under the table) That's better.",0 16721,And your work address.,0 16722,You...?,2 16723,Do you remember your proposal to me? (She puts her hand on her eye),2 16724,"It's not a move, dude. The senior partners were getting impatient. I thought you didn't even want the job.",3 16725,Are you sure it's love?,2 16726,"Oh. Oh. Hey, Barney. That prime rib was surprisingly good, but it's 10:30 in the morning. I don't need to see a lady get naked and dance.",3 16727,"(Subtitle) I'm staying. (Marshall dances ridiculously, in pain)",3 16728,We did a little karate?,1 16729,"Don... Listen, it's... it's really nice of you, and you're really great...",4 16730,Bowl. Bowl.,1 16731,That thing between me and Robin is completely innocent.I flipperai if you tell me not feel something for her. This is the case?,1 16732,"We're not going anywhere, buddy. We're gonna stay here right till the end.",3 16733,I have to go.,1 16734,So you now have two on the line?,0 16735,"Yo, Glitter... Be cool.",3 16736,"Diamond suited up. Hey, Ted, can you spot me for the movie? I don't like to carry a lot of cash on me.",0 16737,Get her up to the roof and the roof takes care of the rest.,1 16738,"Right over there. Enjoy. Hey. Hey, thanks for picking him up.",3 16739,"380 West 22nd, please. And step on it. We're in a hurry.",1 16740,The strippers in this weird time between work and waking the children?,0 16741,"Maybe it's not such a bad idea to think about this one. You and Robin went down this road before, you got dinged up pretty bad.",3 16742,Wait! Go! Go! Cocoa break.,3 16743,You did not have.,0 16744,"The naked guy" works! It will revolutionize the blows of an evening! It's like the forward pass in American football.Dunk the basketball. This stuff barber where they hold the wick and cut above. It changes everything!,0 16745,"Bye, babe.",3 16746,"Let me free, Marshall.",0 16747,What was the pizza again?,0 16748,I have a surprise appetizer for us today. Check it out. Potato skins.,1 16749,"First of all, I did not ask to see that list and I am still horrified. True game is about quality, not quantity. And a quality girl would pick me over you any day.",1 16750,(At the same time) Oh my God! I can't believe it!,3 16751,"Okay, well, we all started brainstorming ways to mess with her. There were a lot of different ideas kicking around.",2 16752,"Oh, my God, you went and saw her, too.",1 16753,Write it.,1 16754,Who's your daddy?,0 16755,"No, not at all. I hate doing the dishes right away.",3 16756,Bye.,3 16757,The slaps are transferable.,2 16758,"The world needs Marshall and Lily... together... I'm not crying, there's something in my eye.",0 16759,And so bourgeois. Many of plays are about the bourgeois. And ennui. And one rock opera about... a frozen yogurt shop.,3 16760,"Oh, my god. Incredible.",0 16761,"Oh, you know, how funny you are...",4 16762,You... enfoirée dirty!,0 16763,"Hey, you never know. People don't stay enemies forever.",1 16764,I love you.,3 16765,Hi Robin.,2 16766,"Oh, my God, is that a drifter with a hook for a hand? No, drifter, no!",2 16767,"Please, you took out all the suspense. In a horror movie, the k*ll does not grab a bullhorn and announce, "Attention unsupervised teens here at the lake house: at precisely 3:00 a.m., I'm gonna jump out of that closet right there and hack you all up with a machete. P.S. fire is my one weakness."",0 16768,Damn.,0 16769,"And it's weird, right?",1 16770,"Okay, we're back live in 30 seconds.",4 16771,She's totally hot and really fun.,0 16772,OK.,1 16773,We play Pyramid. What people are saying just before meeting the love.,1 16774,"I think naked in a tree, throwing his feces.",2 16775,Or Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth.,3 16776,"You too, sweetie.",0 16777,"I get it. Thank you, Tracy.",3 16778,"It should take one. We have ordered pizza, watched through binoculars and said, "That's not why I signed," or stuff like that.",3 16779,"Curt "the iron man" irons keeps leaving me love notes on post-its. On the teleprompter, on my desk, on the coffee-maker, on the jar of sugar packets next to the coffee-maker.",4 16780,What...? I thought I had seen in one take.,3 16781,"Yes, it's been two weeks.",2 16782,I'm going.,4 16783,"Nice! Marshall, we're doing this. I am not taking no for an answer.",0 16784,We're committed to one another.,4 16785,"Hey, hey hey hey, he rallies. And the night begins now.",0 16786,"Curt, we need to talk. I like you...",4 16787,You wanna hang out?,4 16788,We won the fingers in the nose...,0 16789,"Actually, it was a good evening.",3 16790,"I got... ducks are... ducks are... rabbits are adorable. Ducks are aargh. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? I mean, ducks are... jerks.",3 16791,You can spin us a hand?,1 16792,I take it anymore! Your coaching is crazy!,3 16793,"Aw, man! Wait. Which half?",0 16794,"Oh, yeah, that totally got me yesterday.",3 16795,How did you meet?,2 16796,"Don't change anything"?,2 16797,"Barney, do not do that. Not with Jesus.",3 16798,"One thing? (Lily nods) One thing? Wow. Really? So, I guess that gouda Just walked itself right through the door...Sliced itself up, and arranged itself in a perfect semi-circle around not three, not four... But five different kinds of sturdy, cheese-bearing crackers?",3 16799,"Oh, there's Bob! By the way, heads up, he's a little bit older than us.",4 16800,"That is so true, Ellen. I really think I'm ready to stop being a me and start being a we.",0 16801,"So, do you have any other hot single fr...",0 16802,Mom! Get off the phone!,3 16803,"Sweetheart? Sweetheart?! The only sweetheart in your life should be the woman you married 30 years ago, not the waitress at the bar last night and not this clumsy floozy! (To the waitress) I'm sorry, you're not a floozy. I'm upset, I don't know what I'm saying. But stay away from my dad.",1 16804,I'm sorry. Am I not allowed to have a pensive side?,0 16805,Absolutely. A small road.,3 16806,Wow. "The future of Goliath National Bank"?,2 16807,"Dude naked"!,0 16808,"Ted, your perfect woman can only be attracted to men with moustaches.",0 16809,"Legendary, Ted, LEGENDARY!",0 16810,"I have. A sweet brunette, eight o'clock. Nine o'clock. Ten; thirty. She's walking to the bar.",3 16811,"No, no, no, you can't fire him.",1 16812,I can not believe. Friends... This is it! She wrote the book! It must be named Anita. My plan was to sleep with her but it changes everything. New plan: I'll sleep with her.,0 16813,"No, I blocked your address after the fourth time you sent me the video of the monkey sniffing his own butt.",4 16814,"short, and your weekend?",0 16815,"Yeah, it really is.",1 16816,"Look, all the couple-y stuff, it's just not us. Barney and I are barely equipped to date each other, let alone you guys.",4 16817,My God! This is Fisherman's Quest? I played all the time FQ at the time!,4 16818,So Oprah's retiring. Oof! What's that world gonna be like?,1 16819,The last thing she would want to do is hang out with some little brat.,0 16820,"Wait, wait, wait.I'm not so sure I'm comfortable with you hunting my constitutional law professor.",3 16821,"Guys, just let the man explain how it's all about his wearing a lady's watch.",0 16822,See? Marshall's still hung up on our breakup. Why? Because I listened to him. It was a strong and nurturing relationship that I threw away like old gum.,2 16823,"Well, I can tell you're really busy so I should... I'll let you go.",1 16824,"Guys, Stella and I have a little problem.",1 16825,You pretend to be a struggling young artist who needs a new muse.,2 16826,"I love you, too.",2 16827,"Wait, how you know all this?",2 16828,Max has a small penis.,2 16829,You hate that job.,2 16830,What up! Maybe we should just go out there.,3 16831,"You're a sturdy, cheese-bearing cracker!

Could not,1 16835,"Um, interesting. There I am in the office of Jefferson Coatsworth and I figure I'm not gonna take this job anyway, I might as well give this old bastard a piece of mind. Jefferson Coastworth wasn't what I expected.",3 16836,"Okay, let's do this!",4 16837,"Well, not unless he somehow passed all his licensing exams.",1 16838,"Robin, please don't panic. I'm only going to show enough to prove to Marshall that I was right.",0 16839,It's true. They have nothing to do with it. Look at them.,3 16840,"Okay. I'd offer you some coffee, but I don't have any, so you're gonna have to...",0 16841,Yeah.,2 16842,"Okay, go. You are not obliged to return, but you can not stay. I always wanted to say that. I mean, in a bar. I say all the time with me.",0 16843,"You have not turned the page. You want it as much as me, but you not admit it.",0 16844,"No,not that. Lying. Think about it. We spent the whole summer lying about being just friends. Why not just keep lying?",4 16845,"Hi, I'm Robin.",4 16846,"What do you mean, Barney won't return your calls? He said you two had an amazing night together.",2 16847,"Take me home, Barney.",1 16848,"Right. Cause you blew it. The worst part about getting slapped is not knowing when it's going to happen. But now I know exactly when I'm gonna get slapped. So, you took all the suspense out. You showed your hand.",0 16849,"You know what it's like? Wait, I have to get a book. Give me 30 seconds.",1 16850,"I'd let you, but I don't have any room.",0 16851,"It's time, baby.",2 16852,I've never seen.,0 16853,"Ooh, sorry. Gold's the only thing that really counts.",0 16854,How so?,1 16855,And he's been doing it for years.,3 16856,"(Robin is standing at the door) Oh, my God!",4 16857,"Okay, look, look, look. I know that it's sudden, but check it. If we don't take this, guess who's on their way with a deposit check.",3 16858,"Can you believe it? He's resorting to the oldest move in the book. The classic, "pretend to take the offer off the table so I'll want it more." It's so obvious, right? As if that's going to make me be like, "Oh, God, I never should have said no."",1 16859,You're the perfect woman.,3 16860,I would like Stan to be there.,3 16861,"Marshall, I've thought it over and I accept your challenge.",0 16862,Clearly.,4 16863,What do you mean "collection"?,3 16864,I did NOT...say... it was a good plan.,1 16865,Call me.,0 16866,It would not look good.,4 16867,Thank you.,1 16868,"Yeah, Lily, that may seem like a good idea after a couple of drinks but tomorrow morning you're going to want this thing out of your house.",4 16869,I had to. You're my only match. Aren't you even a little curious? The woman who set you up with your fiancé thinks we're a better match.,1 16870,Hello Moo-Moo! Monty did you do an extra-fine pizza just as you love them! Are you okay?,4 16871,In what?,2 16872,"Right. Look, don't even worry about it. It's...",4 16873,"She steps through the door, and where's Ted? Not eagerly waiting by the door. Nah I'm across the room at my drafting table showing some foxy young thing all my cool architecture stuff. So Robin strolls over and I casually give her one of these, "Hey, what's up?" She says, "Hey, nice place" etcetera, etcetera. And then I say, "Well make yourself at home," and I casually return to my conversation. Then, an hour later, "Oh, you're still here?" I say like I don't really care, but it's a nice surprise. And then very casually, "Wanna see the roof?"",1 16874,Of course. Why are you upset?,3 16875,"Well, we got there, and, uh, Lily...(sighs) Lily...",1 16876,Challenge accepted.,0 16877,The cough is supposed to cover the "lesbian.",4 16878,"So, this chick and I are going at it behind the Central Park Zoo. The Bonobo chimps start giving us a standing O, and just when I'm about to give her the same thing... What up?... I... I can't. I just... I can't. Guys, I know you count the minutes until you can escape from your humdrum lives by hearing how awesome mine is, and I love doing that for you, but I just can't tonight.",0 16879,Top of the morning.,0 16880,It's easy. I just have to stop wearing costumes.,0 16881,I know. So much running around and freaking out. For what?,4 16882,She's right.,3 16883,"Well, it could be anyone. And thin, I had forgotten this story Biercules.Who made this site first?",2 16884,"Okay, I understand.",1 16885,"Exactly. And that, in a nutshell, is why I'm not putting the moves on you.",1 16886,Atrocious.,2 16887,Micro and makeup in place. The socks of the arch duchess.,1 16888,This can't be happening.,1 16889,"I never kid. Remember you said if I ever slept with that girl from Days of our Lives, I'd be the king? Well...",0 16890,Great.,4 16891,Correct! Why?,1 16892,"Lily, you're not going to believe this. Something amazing happened.",3 16893,Oh... last time Marshall got gin-drunk was at that douchey bar Barney likes to go to. Marshall almost got in a fight that night.,2 16894,"FYI, it doesn't matter, baby. Guys just wanna get on the green. They don't mind going through the rough.",0 16895,"You do not care what, guys? You are back together?",3 16896,""42nd"? Does the f*cking b*mb appeared to have 42 years? Or worse, she has a mind to call Lori?!",3 16897,"Um, Amy, this is my friend Barney. Barney, this is Amy.",3 16898,No.,1 16899,I just find a porno starring Ted Mosby!,0 16900,GNB think we need a safe place to meet new.,3 16901,Hey.,1 16902,"Errors? Lily, result. The guy was successful. He taught me to be a winner. This is what I teach these kids. And besides, this is what I will do with our children.",3 16903,"Hey, Barney. I got a little poem for you. You want to hear it?",1 16904,This place seems great. Is Kelly here?,1 16905,"Wow, you're a great interviewer. Aren't you gonna ask how my day was?",1 16906,You shredded them?!,3 16907,Hey. You will not believe who I just ran into.,1 16908,"Yeah, you too. (Robin leaves, Barney walks closer) Damn it.",1 16909,No. Finally yes. When you design a bridge remember: "Make Adjustments... Fetch energetically" ("Make Ajustments Energize Go Get It" Maggie acronym in English) Good advice in general too.,1 16910,Totally empty. you?,3 16911,Again?! One too many!,3 16912,"Well, maybe she got married at the mall. Back home in Minnesota a ton of people would get married at the Mall of America, it's great. It's a gorgeous indoor golf course for pictures. Numerous fine dining options, and talk about a reasonable price...",3 16913,I checked 'plus one'.,1 16914,Thank you. My God.,0 16915,"Thanks, Marshmallow.",2 16916,"Wow, kid in a crane machine (approached machine. To boy) You just had to have that toy didn't ya? Couldn't play the game like everyone else.",1 16917,"Come on,Marshall.",2 16918,Barney?,3 16919,Of course.,2 16920,"No, I...",4 16921,And he had not finished.,0 16922,That's the Hermanson contract?,3 16923,"Marshall, you can't look me in the eye, you're blushing, coughing, and your hands are shaking.",4 16924,So this Italian place? How's their cannoli?,3 16925,"For the love of God, will one of you idiots hang up the phone?",4 16926,What? Of course I do! I did not sleep with you just because you were naked.,4 16927,"Second of all, I don't care that the odds are stacked against us. I'd rather try to make this work with Zoey than spend the rest of my life alone playing Angry Birds, which, by the way, I've shown you how to download, like, 20 times.",1 16928,We got bit.,0 16929,Totally.,0 16930,"Guys, boundaries! There she is!",1 16931,You are. You're loving the attention.,2 16932,Where is she?,1 16933,Yeah.,1 16934,He was my sidekick. He had to be.,4 16935,"Oh sweet, can I get a toot?",4 16936,Preserving something that's already gone. Sounds like environmental law.,3 16937,I live just above.,4 16938,You're making me wonder if this pizza is worth the 22 hour drive.,3 16939,"Bro, that is awesome. Motility five!",0 16940,"So if any of you have even the slightest inclination to do anything with your life other than become an architect, you're wasting my time and yours. There's the door... You can go. I'm serious. Get out, now.",1 16941,Lily? Pfft. Who cares right?,3 16942,(To Barney) Baby's going to think about it.,4 16943,"Negative? Well, we know it's not me.",3 16944,Whoa. Whoa. What are death folders?,0 16945,"Since you're clearly a man of impeccable taste and style, I-I came down here to ask you: what do you think of the boots?",1 16946,His thing arranged? A real disaster. She sent me text messages all night. She just let go to use the bathroom.,2 16947,"Well. Barney, just to make things clear...",4 16948,"Okay! Okay, I... I cried during the song Clint.",4 16949,All right.,0 16950,"Really? Marshall: Yeah, I'm positive. And too-much-tongue guy was Colin O'Riley.",1 16951,"Yeah, that's right. They are the heart and soul of the art-buying community.",2 16952,What are you talking about?,0 16953,"Barney, what was on that tape?",2 16954,"Whoa, whoa. Look, let's not get carried away.",3 16955,What happened to Marshall and Lily?,0 16956,"Okay. No problem. If you can find a number that I don't need or shouldn't have in here, be my guest, but good luck. I keep my phone tight.",3 16957,It's a good point. Rebuttal?,0 16958,"I'm glad you mention it. No. And that's why. I know you do not like dirty sinks. But do it for me to clean it? If one day I looked up the ceiling of the room and think, "Hey, I want a replica of the Sistine Chapel" is what you will paint the?",0 16959,"Oh, come on. We bust on each other. We're just at that place in our strong friendship.",4 16960,"Yes, it's cruel to ask it.",1 16961,"No, you know, Ted is not screwed. You know why I'm nice? Because I'm crazy baggage people. Most people see another person with this big suitcase, and they spend doing nothing. But not me. I look at them and say, "Hi, stranger. Can I help you? "And you know who taught me to be like that? A Ted Mosby. A decent and sincere guy who has faith. And you know what, Ted? Inside you, you're still that guy.",3 16962,"You like to have Henrietta close for the same reason that Tiffany likes to have you close, it flatters the ego.",4 16963,Machines force you. They want to watch. That's how they erupt.,0 16964,"And look, you can still travel, I mean, you can still paint. And as far as your lesbian experience... Happy?",4 16965,Hi Ellen. I think I want my money back.,1 16966,What are you talking about?,1 16967,"Seriously, does my eye liner look OK?",3 16968,You're not another number for me.,0 16969,"Oh, my mistake. Or is it?",0 16970,"Hey, Marshall.",1 16971,Are you crying?,4 16972,I used to be a dude.,4 16973,"Ted, look across the bar. Three chicks: one hot, one kind of hot and one who I'm assuming is really funny. We ride! What's wrong?",0 16974,"Well, that doesn't prove anything.",2 16975,"Come on, Ted, it's obvious. Honey's vibing on me.",0 16976,I don't know where you heard that. It was a disaster.,0 16977,"What? Did I not tell you guys that it was Tuxedo Night? Doesn't feel very good, does it?

     

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F.D. » Transcripts » TV & Movie Transcripts » H » How I Met Your Mother



(gestures to the building model)",2 17007,I have not slept with Mitch because he was naked!Mitch and I have something special. My fingers are crossed.That may be correct.,4 17008,"It comes down to one word: "you". Are you ready to put your dreams in the background? Back in college, taught art at the university? You have to concentrate on the project before starting Lily Baby Project. Otherwise, you'll regret it forever.And it would be good neither for you nor for the baby. What is it?",4 17009,What is happening?,1 17010,"I'm a professor, okay? I teach this stuff at one of the best colleges in the country. I don't go down to your place of non-employment and lecture you about how your little protest is a misguided waste of time, except whoops, I just did. Ha-burn.",1 17011,The backhanded compliment to lower her self-esteem... a proven winner.,3 17012,"Hey, where's my, uh, Kit Kat? I put it right here on this table.",1 17013,(to herself) But she's a g*n nut.,2 17014,Jealous?,0 17015,"Gregor's Steakhouse, downtown.",4 17016,What?,1 17017,"Yeah, she's not usually like that.",1 17018,"Barney, you've always taken care of me. You are a gentleman and a scholar. Go into my stable and take my finest stallion. He's yours, his name is Windjammer.",1 17019,"Give it to me, give it, give me...",0 17020,Are you kidding?,4 17021,"If you need to go there at night, or you turn on the light or toilet you sit.",2 17022,Okay. Game time. Let's review the flow of the room. (moving in the room) Barney and Robin enter here. Stop here for margaritas. That's a great conversation starter. We can tell them about nour trip to Cabo.,2 17023,"Nothing. It's nothing. And speaking of digging up dirt, can I count on you two to behave around Victoria?",1 17024,"Ted, relax. I am already 6 of 6.",0 17025,Me. I'm the bad guy.,1 17026,"Ok, yes. There are problems. But I see this house as I know it can be. I see a swing on the tree outside. I see a crown on the front door at Christmas. I see a barbecue outside on the patio or I would make Barbec every weekend. I see a life I know I can be here.",1 17027,"I should go, too. I hooked up with this Chinese girl last night and I don't know, it's weird. I already feel like seconds.",0 17028,Apparently you can. And his two non-mushroom-throwing friends.,4 17029,"You did not ask. Tell him it's just important that it is here. In less than two, it will be a games convention in Toledo, to give money to your dental apparatus in a so-called Milton Bradley.",2 17030,"I am the bassist for Tower Two Euros. And even that involves expensive hair extensions. Now, if you allow, I have to prepare for the event tonight. The I exécuterais he will not come.Glad you asked.",0 17031,Damn it! I was kidding?,0 17032,You have to lunch?,2 17033,"Ranjit! Dude, you're driving a limo now. That's awesome.",0 17034,"After midnight? No way. We can't tabooty-call them, it's pathetic.",4 17035,"You're a good best man, Ted. You'll cry during the toast, right?",0 17036,Good night!,0 17037,"Well, I did, but they only offered me a boring, low-paid, off-camera research job.",4 17038,Music for when we're actually doing it?,3 17039,"No, if Marshall says this isn't the burger, this isn't it.",2 17040,"Look, Natalie, there's something I have to say and there's no good way to say it. I wanna break up. I don't think you're the one for me. I don't want to waste your time because I really like you. I wanna do right by you, and I think the best way to do that is just to be honest. I'm sorry. (Natalie covers her face) Just let it out. They're only tears. (Throws her spaghetti on him) Aah!",1 17041,And then there's the most popular parental lie in history. Santa.,2 17042,I can not. I can in good conscience you plant.,3 17043,"Uh, hey, Marshall, can I call you back? I'm out in the hallway with... She is? She is? Marshall, I got to go.",1 17044,"Okay, if you don't, I will.",4 17045,"And just like that, it's all okay. Roll credits.",4 17046,(to a student) You... Why do you want to be an architect?,1 17047,I will not do it!,1 17048,All right.,1 17049,We're ready for this.,3 17050,"Well, I just think that maybe she's not that into you and that's why she didn't give you her number. Robin, care to chime in with anything? Robin: Yes. Ted. Go get her.",2 17051,Hello.,2 17052,My God! How do you know that?,0 17053,Strip-club. Nice. Is Marshall OK?,1 17054,"To be clear, you're saying that you do not have boots red cowboy?",0 17055,No.,2 17056,"No, we got to get going to the...",3 17057,What... (stammers) Do they make out?,0 17058,"Ugly, ugly, ugly.",4 17059,"If memory serves me, she had a huge 'but'. Her huge butt. Nailed it!",0 17060,And to the lemon law.,0 17061,"I've got to say, I'm with Ted on this.",2 17062,It's mean.,4 17063,"I mean, I come home, I was going to watch Jeopardy and there's a string quartet and... I have to pee.",4 17064,"No, you hang up.",1 17065,"Zsa Zsa Gabor is still sexy, but other than that, it is rotten this holiday.",0 17066,"Just to be clear, "I've done it again!"... Am not referring to my current state of inebriation.",3 17067,"No, Brad, uh, I don't want to hear it. I do like you. And calla lilies are my favorite flower. I don't know how you knew that. I guess you just get me, but this is not cool, man. I can't believe that you would...",3 17068,I regret to inform you that at this time...,0 17069,"Baby, you have my full support.",2 17070,"YOU KNOW, TED, I DON'T SAY THIS NEARLY ENOUGH BUT REALLY...",3 17071,"Wow. You know, I've been thinking about this. I think I want to have zero kids.",4 17072,"Well, if a magazine says so, we should go get married in the woods like a couple of squirrels.",3 17073,"Come on, Lily. How many women can say they've been personally serenaded by Korean Elvis?",0 17074,She turns around.,4 17075,Can I call you tomorrow?,1 17076,Mom? Who's my dad? All the other kids at school know who their dad is. Who's mine?,0 17077,How is this possible? It's all there waiting!,0 17078,Why not?,3 17079,"Oh, my God! Is that really...? Oh, my God!",1 17080,You're probably wondering why I've been quiet all night.,4 17081,"Okay, why not: from now until tomorrow afternoon, I do this, and then tomorrow night, I do that.",3 17082,Eh. After the monologue.,0 17083,I even caught a pizza in the shower.,2 17084,I live for the dance.,0 17085,"Hello, Lily Aldrin's room please. Thank you.",3 17086,"Well, we don't want to jinx it, but, uh... We kind of think they might be the two. (he touches the table) Ooh.",3 17087,"Just admit it, you came here trying to seduce me.",2 17088,"Did she tell you that Bob Barker was your dad, too?",4 17089,"No, Marshall. That was beyond my wildest dreams (Robin's wailing on TV)",0 17090,And then I promised Lily that we'd stuff 200 wedding invitations.,3 17091,It was broken.,4 17092,"Unfinished. Of all the words you could use to describe La Sagrada Familia... Brown, pointy, weird... The one that really seems to stick is "unfinished." Why? Because on June 7, 1926, the architect Antoni Gaudi... Whose beard was also brown, pointy, weird and unfinished......was run over by a bus. And so, his greatest masterpiece would remain forever...",1 17093,I like you Ted.,0 17094,(singing along with jukebox) Plain to see again.,1 17095,I'll take my hat fisherman. Thank you for bringing me here. This is mine.,4 17096,"Robin, hangs up. Do not do that.",0 17097,"Honey, I do not have to worry about you and another woman.",2 17098,Go and eat your ice.,0 17099,So long! And now he's staying even longer. His mom has been having a really hard time since the funeral. He's waiting on her hand and foot. But... it's Valentine's Day. It's not going to be the same without the two of us watching Predator together.,2 17100,I know.,1 17101,Table for one.,3 17102,What's there in the box? What there was in the boiiite?What there was in the boiiiiiite?! What there was in the boiiiiiiite?! Not bad eh? Nothing. I'm the idiot huh? What there was in the box?,4 17103,"Yeah. It's why in our apartment: If you're a-hopin' to score, don't leave your socks on the floor.",2 17104,No December '.,3 17105,Excuse me. I left something in New Jersey.,0 17106,She bought Yankees season tickets to watch him play!,2 17107,Okay. (Ted is still in the taxi) This is what I say.,1 17108,"It was so special, you know? We should observe a minute of silence. Followed by about 20 minutes of grunting.",0 17109,"Punchy, what are you doing here?",1 17110,...an event Ted is also attending.,2 17111,The age that you say you have.,0 17112,It was not the fact that Maggie was good. It was the...,1 17113,You know that "coffee" is code for "I want to get back together" right?,4 17114,And she's looking for some action. Sounds to me like she could be a cougar.,0 17115,"Well, I couldn't do it. I broke up with her. Thanks a lot by the way. A beautiful, sexy girl and all I could think about was you being there first. You were stuck in my head like a Chumbawumba song.",1 17116,"You'll never there. Too many opportunities. The first bridesmaid drunk, you'll have your head under the dress as a photographer of yesteryear.",2 17117,Not so fast. I'm not that easy.,1 17118,"No, you know what would be a better name for the site? Guy-forces-his-wife- to-dress-in-a-garbage-bag- for-the-next- three-years-dot-com. That's real.",2 17119,Jealous?,4 17120,And you?,4 17121,It was perfect!,1 17122,"No! I just mean on papers, so that you can buy the apartment without my bad credit dragging us down.",2 17123,You have to take away the internet. Genre immediately.,3 17124,"Let me guess. You got a huge bonus check, too.",1 17125,"Papa! Look at us!nIt's like three of the same guy. Oh, my God, this explains why I was always so awesome at basketball. Guys, I'm black! Sorry. African-American. No. I'm allowed to say either. I got to go get my camera!",0 17126,"Ted, why you work so hard on this speech? Punchy has applied with a karaoke microphone in a bowling alley.",4 17127,It's true. We live.,3 17128,"Hi, sad-eyes. What's got you down? Claudia: Stuart and I just broke up.",0 17129,Thanks.,1 17130,But I bet you have no special bed sex.,3 17131,"Friends, then.",4 17132,I do not care. It's comfortable.,3 17133,The dumbest thing that ON've ever done.,0 17134,It does not stop a fight between girls! Ever!,0 17135,"Hey, uh, listen, Honey, while I've got you, do you have any idea what kind of difficult stuff Zoey's been going through?",3 17136,"Welcome home, Scherbatsky.",0 17137,Really.,2 17138,"Congratulations, buddy.",3 17139,I can... I can give you some ideas I have?,1 17140,No.,1 17141,You will not believe what just happened.,1 17142,"Oh, well, that doesn't count. The bet started the moment we shook.",1 17143,It's a stormtrooper?,4 17144,Hello.,4 17145,Nothing. Pizza. What are you talking about?,2 17146,More Cosmos?,4 17147,Like what?,1 17148,So is being mean.,2 17149,And why is that girl checking you out?,4 17150,"Actually, I think I'm gonna say no.",1 17151,Aside from a woman who appreciates a nice tie.,0 17152,"What is the title, Robin? Who among us has not shed a tear when his small red eye goes to the end and he can not k*ll these people? Sorry. The film...",0 17153,"It's just bad camera work, okay? Wayne, our camera guy... he wasn't that great.",4 17154,Becca is this girl who lives in the North. I saw her from time to time.,0 17155,Can I observe something?,1 17156,OK then.,0 17157,"So, should we just go ahead and lock the four of us in for new year's?",3 17158,Yes finally!,0 17159,"Wait here, I should go talk to the band.",3 17160,"Oh, okay, uh, today's category: classic Westerns that involve red cowboy boots. Ooh, ooh! Robin.",3 17161,Um...,4 17162,I already did that. 21 years.,0 17163,Barney! Your wife just called from the hospital! It's a boy!,3 17164,"All right, so, Barney, are you doing this or what?",1 17165,I'm gonna k*ll him.,1 17166,"Baby, are you okay?",2 17167,After I spent all this money on a bridesmaid shirt?,4 17168,"Wait, I can find. With Mothers Who I'd like Sunset And Never Forgot.",1 17169,"Hi, Captain. The Captain. Captain.",1 17170,"Baby, you can do the dishes?",2 17171,I thought you would be interested to learn some stuff about this movie that you love. It is rotten. And you are all stupid to love.,1 17172,Who is a fan of a program broadcast at 4am?,3 17173,"I don't know. If we're gonna do it again, I'm gonna need some Gatorade...",0 17174,Come on.,0 17175,It's good but...,4 17176,"Barney, I don't wanna say-",1 17177,But you're Satan.,1 17178,"OK, fair enough. I've got to prove a point to a friend, so you just gave me your number and your name is Amy.",0 17179,"No, you just want Lily to be miserable. The truth is she's happy.",4 17180,"Oh, really? What is all of this? I mean, why can't you just say, "Hey, Robin, let's go get some sushi?" No, it has to be a-a string quartet and-and Paris and flowers and chocolates and let's spend the rest of our lives together.",4 17181,"Look, maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I'm sorry, that's a deal-breaker for me. I'm not going to have sex with a prostitute.",1 17182,She's a slutty nurse.,0 17183,"Nice catch, Robin.",1 17184,I gotta go.,1 17185,"If there's one thing you never do, it's call a woman fat right to her face!",2 17186,She stops.,2 17187,Really?,2 17188,It's actually working.,2 17189,"Well, that and the fact that elaborate lies really turn us on.",0 17190,"Yeah, let's go.",4 17191,"I know it's silly, but... And the dragon. They are happy, you know?",0 17192,I think....,1 17193,"No. I mean, I want you as opposed to who you've become. You've changed so much.",2 17194,It's the tallest mountain in Canada. It's like 4000 meters high.,4 17195,Going. Getting.,1 17196,"I know. I know. Listen, I must confess something. This attack did not go exactly as I said.",3 17197,106. A numbered street. Of course.,3 17198,"Lily, you squeaked?",1 17199,Are you okay?,1 17200,"Marshall, please. Don't you think I know what I'm... My God, you're right.",0 17201,Nope.,0 17202,"What's that supposed to mean? Are you calling me fat? If there is one thing you never do, it is call a woman fat right to her face!",0 17203,"They're Kappas and I think I can score with one of them. I don't know which one and if I choose wrong, I lose 'em both.",1 17204,You invited Lily?,1 17205,You realize this kind of screws up my personal life.,1 17206,Could have licked the Liberty Bell.,0 17207,Uses a hybrid steel tube structure...,1 17208,"No, we're not.",4 17209,"All that crap you said to me about "we need to figure out who we are outside of us, and we need to learn to do things on our own.". It broke my heart. Three months ago, you broke my heart.",3 17210,"Well, let's see... uh, Wheel of Fortune, naked push-ups, naked chin-ups... I was at dinner.",0 17211,"You were right. It was a huge mistake. It's just that... the world is changing, but me... You have a flat 'for years. It's getting serious between Robin and Don. Barney, perhaps this is a new tie?",1 17212,Then my father said the last words that he'll ever say to me: "Rent Crocodile Dundee III. I caught it on the cable last night and it totally holds up.",3 17213,"Every time. Um, can you just sit in front of the computer like normal human beings? Perfect! Perfect.",3 17214,"I don't know if you caught that, but he did the "we" thing.",0 17215,You did this all day? This is wicked.,4 17216,Lily and I were both freshmen moving into,3 17217,Randy. This is delicious. You're fired.,3 17218,Hmm?,1 17219,"Hey, back when I was a kid, you used to be a roadie. Do you still do that?",0 17220,"Seriously, stop the car.",4 17221,There's no way it's Barney.,3 17222,Really?,4 17223,Not Jamie.,2 17224,Martini?,0 17225,"Ted, you know, I'm not a saint. And yes, it is true that the times I drove your mother at the airport, say that there has been a... sexually confused and confusing time in the parking lot, but I said I draguerai not your sister, and I thought. You should have me believe.",0 17226,Thank you.,3 17227,Damn it.,4 17228,"More than once... Wow, this is... I guess if we... so, technically, there were a number of times I've lied to a woman to sleep with her.",0 17229,A species of bastard.,2 17230,You know what's not a drag? Getting a home equity loan at Goliath National Bank. I'm just saying.,0 17231,"Please. "I can not remain impassive while you make the biggest mistake a man can do... get married. Keep my words, it will all part... "Flames! Oh, shit! I sent the flame too soon. I had so many important things to say, and... The fact is, Ted, marriage is stupid. Each year there are a million girls aged 22, sexy, who go to bars and call me, "glass half full", but I think they become beasts.",0 17232,"relationality, this is mine.",0 17233,"OK, Ted, let's go.",0 17234,What do you want to hear?,2 17235,"This is NYC.You don't get close to the neighbors. You nod at them politely in the hall. You call the cops if you haven't seen them in a while and you smell something funny, and that is it.",1 17236,How many people are on this festive bingo student?,1 17237,This is my marriage. You gotta be there.,1 17238,"Okay, all right, I, uh, I think I'm ready.",3 17239,Why not let the solid brick to remind us not to buy?,1 17240,That sounds plausible.,3 17241,"The one day I miss the sack circle, you guys sub her in?",1 17242,You're sure it's not a fever?,3 17243,"Okay, I'm done... but I really don't want you reading this unless... you know, something happens. Can you swear to me you won't open it?",2 17244,You sure?,0 17245,Yeah. It wasn't Lily's boyfriend.,3 17246,"All right, so what did I do wrong next? Let me have it. I'm here to learn.",1 17247,"Look, maybe your kids resent their friends sleep together, but not me. I have never been better.",0 17248,"Oh, great. Real mature.",1 17249,(singing along with jukebox) I fell in love...,1 17250,"Yeah, you did.",3 17251,"Do you know that when you make up a statistic, you always use "83%"?",1 17252,What am I doing? All this was a mistake.,2 17253,"Oh, for the hundredth time, I'm sorry, there was a lull.",2 17254,"Marshall popped his cherry! Oh! Come on, Marshall, you have to admit, the guy was a disaster. I mean, it reflected badly on the company. He was an embarrassment. A huge embarrassment.",0 17255,Yes.,4 17256,"Oh, I am so beautiful! Oh, don't tell me how much it costs. Just snap my neck now, so I can die this pretty.",2 17257,You sure? You want to practice your story one more time?,0 17258,"Should be the plan, I mean look at her. Ted, look at her. She's smokin'!",0 17259,"You have gaps, too, Lily.",1 17260,"I'm serious. It's a great look. I think it could come back, but one question. Does it cost half as much as glasses?",1 17261,The 200th with that... get laid?,1 17262,I finally know what it's like to be embarrassed by my dad.,0 17263,"Okay, that's Iris, my new assistant. And yes, she's a little plain, but I'm married, so that's good.",3 17264,You're right. I need something.,3 17265,Uh-oh.,2 17266,You dirty bastard...!,2 17267,"Is it I who betrayed, or that you have betrayed me?",1 17268,"All right, Marshall, remember. It might not taste as good. This place has changed, you've changed, New York has changed. Just... don't get your hopes up too high, okay?",1 17269,"And you, mine. And I promise to dedicate ourselves more time. Marshall did not need to paste something from being done.",2 17270,It was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through.,3