| ==Phrack Inc.== | |
| Volume Two, Issue 13, Phile #4 of 10 | |
| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |
| /|\ the Neon Fucken Knights /|\ | |
| \|/ present with no alternative \|/ | |
| /|\HOW TO BUILD A PAISLEY BOX! /|\ | |
| \|/ by the fucked up Blade \|/ | |
| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |
| All right, so i mfucken in 40 cols..what's it matter? i just | |
| realized that many idoits out ther still dont know how to make one of | |
| the greatest anarchiust tools ever, the Paisley Box. This little | |
| beauty will do just about anuyt6hing ya want, including: | |
| --Seize operator lines | |
| --Remote control over all TSPS and TOPS consols | |
| --All other box functions combind in oine, includin blue, beige, and | |
| blotto | |
| so ya wanna know how to build this fucker and go out terrorizin ma | |
| bell..well sit tight, we wont bother with any fucken diagrams cause | |
| those are for dweebs (right necro? right!) here we go! | |
| first of all get about 20 lbs of quality drugs and 3 or 4 kegs. you | |
| might | |
| think that you need this for the contruction of the box but, you don't | |
| you take it all yerself!! | |
| this will mellow ya out enuf to follow our planz. lessee, oh yea | |
| parts list: | |
| --about 50 ffeet of copper wier, hopfully insulated | |
| --an old (prefer touchton) phone that ya dont need no more | |
| --a honda genorateer (don't pay for it, just card it. right necro? | |
| right!) | |
| --and one of the empty kegs that ya drank to put it all in. the | |
| genarater will fit fine and the rest ya can attach to the outsid if | |
| thats your fucken urge. | |
| now for tha actualy construciton details: | |
| oh shit, we forgot one fuckin thing. go to you local hadware stoer and | |
| find the guy who owns it, get a gun and blow his fuckin head off (you | |
| can card the gun two) this isn't for the box but, it fun and it will | |
| make satan happy so yor box will work better. | |
| now with the empty keg and all the stuf we put up there ( i think | |
| about 20 lins ofr so up )_ attach the genarater to all the other shit | |
| however ya please, now get some nice paisley wallpaper from your mom | |
| 9(steal it if she wants it still) and put it all on the oputsid of teh | |
| keg. you now have a 100% genuine Neon Knights approvd Paisley Box! | |
| How touse: | |
| hook that son of a bithc up to yir modem (thats only if you got a 212 | |
| cat. if you don't then you are an asshole anyway and the box will | |
| blow you fucken house aprt but, satan will be happy.) | |
| now turn yer dam computer on, and when the prkmpt comes up( | |
| hardwird into the box of cors! whatdday think we are, stupid? ) | |
| type: 666 (space) SATAN RULES (space) MY SWEET SATAN! | |
| then the menu will coume up on you screen and it will say. | |
| 1) fuck the operator around | |
| 2) take control of the pentagon | |
| 3) imitatte boxes (blue, blotto) | |
| 4) fuck-a-geek | |
| choose whatever ya want, except if ya get tired of it and want to | |
| trash th thing type 666 for a choice. the box will sef destructt, yer | |
| computer will explod, anmd in its trahsing death throes speak an | |
| chant taht will summon satan to take you away to the depths of | |
| HELL!!! | |
| use this masterpece proerly, and remember: NO FUCKEN LOSERS! | |
| `'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`' | |
| Call these genocidal systemz: | |
| The Gatest of Hell 555-51325-634637-3 | |
| 1200 ONLY DAMMIT! | |
| Mephisto's Suicidal Nightmare 2436-234-666 (of course!) | |
| 1200 ONLY DAMMIT! | |
| The Dead Fuckers Realm 2436-99-2309 | |
| 300 only for now (dammit!) | |
| sorry for the sloppy look compared to our usual k00l neat files, but my | |
| computer got confiscate d by the fucke n pigs so i have to | |
| telerwit this fucker usin a dumb terminal, until i card another! | |
| should be within the week! | |
| but don't forget to call the rad Metal AE | |
| 201-879-[666]8 9600 baud only (god fuckin dammit) 4 drives with 710 | |
| megs soon (we promise this time). | |
| Kneon Nights "We're Rad, we kill children!!" | |
| end of file | |
| i said end of file dammit! | |
| what are you still fucken readin for? hit escape you stupid | |
| shithead! | |
| if you dont fucken hit escape i will call satan on you!!! | |
| fuck the dead! | |
| *** | |
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| *********** | |
| *********** | |
| *** | |
| *** | |
| Oral roberts is the anti-christ!!! | |
| oh and remember: this has been a fucken parody from thomas fucken | |
| covenant and double fucken helix. Call Thieve's World, the last | |
| bastion of free thought: 616-344-2718. | |
| "Whaddya mean I don't believe in God? ... I talk to him every day!" | |