hacking

	==Phrack Inc.==

	Issue XIV, File 7 of 9

	^^ PWN ^^ PWN ^^ PWN ^^ PWN ^^ PWN ^^ PWN ^^ PWN ^^ PWN ^*^
	PWN PWN
	^^ ^^ Phrack World News ^^ ^^
	PWN Special Edition I PWN
	^^ ^^
	PWN Edited, Compiled, and Written PWN
	^^ by Knight Lightning ^^
	PWN PWN
	^^ PWN ^^ PWN ^^ PWN ^^ PWN ^^ PWN ^^ PWN ^^ PWN ^^ PWN ^*^

	Welcome to the first Phrack World News "Special Edition." In this issue we
	have two parts. The first section deals with possible news stories of the
	future after the weekend of June 19-21... SummerCon '87! The second section
	is a presentation of acronyms that never were, but should be. All posts have
	been taken from Metal Shop Private prior to its takedown in June. Posts have
	been edited for this presentation.

	PWN Special Edition is not a regular series and will only appear when the
	author deems it necessary to release one. Please keep in mind that all
	material in this file was written several weeks prior to SummerCon '87 and
	therefore the events chronicled here are supposed fiction and comedy.

	Thank you -KL.

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	Name: Phantom Phreaker

	SummerCon Prank Backfires June 31, 1987
	~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
	Well, the SummerCon went over well, except when the convention attendees stole
	every payphone in the building and placed them in front of Taran King's hotel
	room, rang the door, and shouted "Room Service." Needless to say, Taran King
	is now in jail until he can pay for all the stolen payphones.
	______________________________________________________________________________

	Name: Knight Lightning

	Phreak/Hack World Shut Down! June 21, 1987
	~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
	It happened yesterday when John Maxfield accompanied by Ralph Meola, Richard
	Proctor, Dan Pasquale, Edward P. Nowicki, and several members of the FBI,
	Secret Service, National Security Agency, and local baggers 402 literally
	invaded SummerCon '87, the annual phreak/hack reunion. It has been reported
	that a total of 97 suspects have been placed in custody with crimes linking
	them to jay walking, loitering, curfew violation, disturbing the peace, and
	belching in excessive amounts.

	Details are sketchy but it appears that it all started when a very drunk pair
	of twins decided to visit the local McDonald's and demanded a COSMOS Sundae
	with passwords on the side. When a very confused McDonald's employee refused,
	they became agitated and whipped out a blue box, using it to open the "trunks"
	of all the cars in the parking lot and then finally throwing it at an
	employee. A mad crowd of people rushed to the Best Western Executive
	International Inn and tried to storm the building when the other previously
	mentioned uninvited guests arrived.

	Final remarks from the twins... "So who wants to discuss CAMA?"

	Information provided by F. R. Newsline Services and on the scene reporting by
	Broadway Hacker (arrested for attempted prostitution).
	______________________________________________________________________________

	Name: Thomas Covenant

	SummerCon '87 "Laugh Riot"; Numerous Phreaks Still Missing June 25, 1987
	~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
	(St Louis, PP) Authorities are still searching for the nearly 100 missing
	telecom enthusiasts who gathered in town over the weekend for a convention.
	Apparently the missing parties were sitting around, undergoing the intake of
	many assorted consciousness altering chemicals, when a strange young man with
	shoulder length hair and wearing a Judas Priest jacket appeared. He forced
	them all into a white 1957 Chevy pickup and took off, leaving only Evil Jay
	and Thomas Covenant behind. Evil Jay was quoted as saying it was a "laugh
	riot." Thomas Covenant had nothing to say as he is in shock from the incident
	and currently undergoing treatment at the St. Louis Home for the Terminally
	Bewildered.
	______________________________________________________________________________

	Name: Phantom Phreaker

	Computer Enthusiasts Infected With The AIDS Virus June 22, 1987
	~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
	>From St. Louis Post Dispatch

	They called it "SummerCon," a gathering of "phone phreaks" and computer
	hackers who are loosely organized around a network of computer bulletin
	boards. However, tragedy struck the meeting when the hacker named Evil Jay
	tricked another hacker, Suicidal Nightmare, into entering the room belonging
	to Broadway Hacker. Suicidal Nightmare was found in the parking lot with a
	torn anus.

	As if this wasn't bad enough, Broadway Hacker then went wild and began trying
	to molest the smallest hackers there. He could be seen chasing Kango Kid
	while screaming about a flaming mailbox and rubbing his genital area.

	Other problems arose from the hackers meeting. Several people were arrested
	for possession of cannibus and illegal possession of alcohol. The other
	charges included:

	o Intoxicated Pedestrian
	o Disturbing the Peace
	o Contributing to the delinquency of a minor
	o Failure to yield at stop sign
	o No turn signal
	o Theft of telephones
	o Verbally harassing telephone operators

	As you can see, these computer 'hackers' have no morals and decency and should
	not be allowed to meet.

	(C) Post Dispatch 2050
	Written by Jack Meoff
	______________________________________________________________________________

	Name: Knight Lightning

	Phreak World Crippled; SummerCon Causes Despair June 22, 1987
	~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
	Today, the phreak world was astounded and dealt a horrifying blow as all the
	phreaks who attended SummerCon left with their entire phreak knowledge
	literally erased from their minds due to an excess of drinking and other
	unknown mind altering substances. It is unknown as to if these effects are
	temporary or a life-long destruction.


	Anarchy World Takes Charge June 23, 1987
	~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
	MetalliBashers Inc. have become the new "LOD" of the modem world since all of
	the LOD members no longer can even remember what LOD stands for (in fact, no
	one can, and forget I mentioned it!). With MBI taking charge, the new wave of
	the modem world has turned strictly anarchy, although there are rumors of
	various pirating organizations beginning to unload new wares soon.


	Investigators Lose Jobs! June 24, 1987
	~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
	John Maxfield reportedly lost ALL contracts today when it was discovered that
	the phreak/hack community was completely destroyed, thus no one needed
	protection from them. He has now taken a job with the local sanitation
	management firm to help figure out what to do with all the garbage now that
	the phreak community wasn't stealing 1/3 of it anymore.
	______________________________________________________________________________

	Name: Evil Jay

	Suicidal Nightmare - History June 23, 1987
	~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
	Suicidal Nightmare met death head on when Evil Jay knocked on his door
	pretending to be a lineman checking on his line. Once inside, Jay proceeded
	to swing a hand set at him with amazing accuracy. Once dragged outside, Jay
	then proceeded to tie Suicidal naked to a tree and call the ever-lovin'
	Broadway Hacker over to do his stuff. Jay was last heard pleading insanity.
	Suicidal Nightmare remains in intensive care, and Broadway Hacker is happy.
	______________________________________________________________________________

	That is the last of the news reports, now on with "Those Amazing Acronyms...!"
	______________________________________________________________________________

	Name: Doom Prophet

	FUCK-Facilities Utilization Control Kitchen. A really hot office. They keep
	backups of all systems per a LATA, or in special cases, the entire BOC
	area, along with user logs and passwords. They use the CUNTLICK system
	to interface with SHIT, explained momentarily. They are difficult to
	reach as no one knows their number, and anyone calling it has to enter a
	special queue dispenser where he enters routing information to reach the
	FUCK ACD. The FUCK technicians answer as normal subscribers and you have
	to tell them a codeword.

	PENIS-Plant Engineering Network Information System. Used by the PMS to deal
	with outside plant details and layout maps.

	CUNTLICK-Computer Utilities Network In the Control Kitchen. Used to sensor
	with SHIT.

	SHIT-Supreme Hardware Inventory Totals. Self explanatory.

	CRAP-Customer Repair Analysis Service. They use PENIS to supply PMS with
	info.

	PISS-Primary Intertoll Switching Servicemen. Co-ordinate classes 1 through 4
	toll offices and monitor the STP's.

	BITCH-Building Installation Table Channel. Used by SHIT technicians to obtain
	new switch and office status.

	SCAB-Switching Cable Analysis Bureau. They work with PMS for trunk testing
	and maintenance. The systems they use are FART and DOPAMINE.

	BASTARD-Box Accessible System To Aid Real D00ds. A special in band NPA with
	full OSC support for blue boxers to experiment within legally. Only
	operating in special areas.
	______________________________________________________________________________

	Name: Phantom Phreaker

	DOGSHIT-Division Operations Group SHIT (see above post). DOGSHIT is like
	SHIT, except that DOGSHIT is in a division.

	CATPISS-Centralized Automatic Tandem Priorities Interexchange Support System.
	Self-explanatory.

	BEER-Bell Electrical Engineering Research

	COOL-Computerized Operations On Loops
	______________________________________________________________________________

	Name: Taran King

	BOOGER-Bell Operational Office for Generation of ESS Reports. Self
	Explanatory.

	STAN-Spanish Tacos And Nachos. This support group, Californian based,
	maintains food services for all superior employees (all employees).

	NATE-Nacho And Taco Emissary. This department secretly interfaces STAN with
	the rest of the network due to the STAN group's inability to fit in with
	society. **Due to divestiture, NATE and STAN are no longer part of the
	network**

	IL DUCE-Not an acronym, but the janitorial services department of the network.

	PUMPKIN-Peripheral Unit Modulator Phor Kitchen Installations of NATE. This
	group is in charge of interfacing kitchen activities through Project
	Genesis. See RAPE.

	BRRR-RING-The official word for the sound an AT&T phone makes receiving an
	incoming call.

	BANANA-Basic Analog Network Analog Network Analog (No wonder they went
	digital)

	RAPE-Red Afro-PUMPKIN Enthusiast. This group, led by Peter, cheers IL DUCE
	while he sweeps the floors.

	SCOOP-Secondary Command Output Only Procedure. This converts all text to
	lower case. It is a function used in most Bell computers along with
	LEX.

	LEX-Lengthy Explanatory Xlations. This program, found alongside SCOOP,
	converts all lowercase text, from SCOOP, into upper case and 40 columns
	surrounded by "$"s.

	** Warning! Never leave SCOOP and LEX running simultaneously or you will
	surely cause L666 to occur. **

	L666-The warning message generated by computers indicating endless loops of
	conflicting jobs. This also indicates that everything is fucked. See
	LOKI.

	LOKI-Life Over-Kill Incentive. If you find this error message on your
	computer, do not reboot the computer, but be sure to reboot something.
	______________________________________________________________________________

	Name: The Disk Jockey

	SNATCH-Senses Nodes And Traps Code Hackers

	TITS-Telephone Involved in Tandem Skipping

	PUBIC-Plastered Uniforms Brought Inside CO (An employee infraction)

	RAD-Receive Analog Department

	DISC-Deadbeats Instinctively Scanning for Carriers

	LAP-Local Area Payphone

	Or use the codewords that Linemen and Telco employees use....

	This Means This
	---- ----------
	"OHFUCKNIGS" "I'm trapped in a phone booth in a black neighborhood"
	"FIDOFUCK" "A customer's pet dog has me trapped up a pole"
	"HOMEBONE" "I got laid while doing a customer's installation"
	"SNOOZEBOX" "I'm sleeping, but saying I'm fixing little green boxes"
	______________________________________________________________________________

	This concludes Phrack World News Special Edition. I hope you enjoyed it. If
	you have any comments or ideas be sure to get in touch with me or Taran King.

	:Knight Lightning

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