| ==Phrack Magazine== | |
| Volume Five, Issue Forty-Six, File 3 of 28 | |
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| PART I | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| !! NEW PHRACK CONTEST !! | |
| Phrack Magazine is sponsoring a programming contest open to anyone | |
| who wishes to enter. | |
| Write the Next Internet Worm! Write the world's best X Windows wardialer! | |
| Code something that makes COPS & SATAN look like high school Introduction | |
| to Computing assignments. Make the OKI 1150 a scanning, tracking, vampire- | |
| phone. Write an NLM! Write a TSR! Write a stupid game! It doesn't | |
| matter what you write, or what computer it's for! It only matters that you | |
| enter! | |
| Win from the following prizes: | |
| Computer Hardware & Peripherals | |
| System Software | |
| Complete Compiler packages | |
| CD-ROMS | |
| T-Shirts | |
| Magazine Subscriptions | |
| and MANY MORE! | |
| STOP CRACKING PASSWORDS AND DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE! | |
| Enter the PHRACK PROGRAMMING CONTEST! | |
| The rules are very simple: | |
| 1) All programs must be original works. No submissions of | |
| previously copyrighted materials or works prepared by | |
| third parties will be judged. | |
| 2) All entries must be sent in as source code only. Any programming | |
| language is acceptable. Programs must compile and run without | |
| any modifications needed by the judges. If programs are specific | |
| to certain platforms, please designate that platform. If special | |
| hardware is needed, please specify what hardware is required. | |
| If include libraries are needed, they should be submitted in addition | |
| to the main program. | |
| 3) No virii accepted. An exception may be made for such programs that | |
| are developed for operating systems other than AMIGA/Dos, System 7, | |
| MS-DOS (or variants), or OS/2. Suitable exceptions could be, but are not | |
| limited to, UNIX (any variant), VMS or MVS. | |
| 4) Entries may be submitted via email or magnetic media. Email should be | |
| directed to phrack@well.com. Tapes, Diskettes or other storage | |
| media should be sent to | |
| Phrack Magazine | |
| 603 W. 13th #1A-278 | |
| Austin, TX 78701 | |
| 5) Programs will be judged by a panel of judges based on programming skill | |
| displayed, originality, usability, user interface, documentation, | |
| and creativity. | |
| 6) Phrack Magazine will make no claims to the works submitted, and the | |
| rights to the software are understood to be retained by the program | |
| author. However, by entering, the Author thereby grants Phrack Magazine | |
| permission to reprint the program source code in future issues. | |
| 7) All Entries must be received by 12-31-94. Prizes to be awarded by 3-1-95. | |
| -------------------------INCLUDE THIS FORM WITH ENTRY------------------------- | |
| Author: | |
| Email Address: | |
| Mailing Address: | |
| Program Name: | |
| Description: | |
| Hardware & Software Platform(s) Developed For: | |
| Special Equipment Needed (modem, ethernet cards, sound cards, etc): | |
| Other Comments: | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| COMPUTER COP PROPHILE | |
| FOLLOW-UP REPORT | |
| LT. WILLIAM BAKER | |
| JEFFERSON COUNTY POLICE | |
| by | |
| The Grimmace | |
| In PHRACK 43, I wrote an article on the life and times | |
| of a computer cop operating out of the Jefferson County Police | |
| Department in Louisville, Kentucky. In the article, I included | |
| a transcript of a taped interview with him that I did after | |
| socially engineering my way through the cop-bureaucracy in his | |
| department. At the time I thought it was a hell of an idea and a | |
| lot of PHRACK readers probably got a good insight into how the | |
| "other side" thinks. | |
| However, I made the terminal mistake of underestimating | |
| the people I was dealing with by a LONG shot and felt that I | |
| should write a short follow-up on what has transpired since that | |
| article was published in PHRACK 43. | |
| A lot of the stuff in the article about Lt. Baker was | |
| obtained by an attorney I know who has no reason to be friendly | |
| to the cops. He helped me get copies of court transcripts which | |
| included tons of information on Baker's training and areas of | |
| expertise. Since the article, the attorney has refused to talk | |
| to me and, it appears, that he's been identified as the source | |
| of assistance in the article and all he will say to me is that | |
| "I don't want any more trouble from that guy...forget where you | |
| left my phone number." Interesting...no elaboration...hang up. | |
| As I recall, the PHRACK 43 issue came out around | |
| November 17th. On November 20th, I received a telephone call | |
| where I was living at the home of a friend of mine from Lt. | |
| Baker who laughingly asked me if I needed any more information | |
| for any "future articles". I tried the "I don't know what | |
| you're talking about" scam at which time he read to me my full | |
| name, date of birth, social security number, employer, license | |
| number of my car, and the serial number from a bicycle I just | |
| purchased the day before. I figured that he'd run a credit | |
| history on me, but when I checked, there had been no inquiries | |
| on my accounts for a year. He told me the last 3 jobs I'd held | |
| and where I bought my groceries and recited a list of BBSs I was | |
| on (two of which under aliases other than The Grimmace). | |
| This guy had a way about him that made a chill run up my | |
| spine and never once said the first threatening or abusive thing | |
| to me. I suppose I figured that the cops were all idiots and | |
| that I'd never hear anything more about the article and go on to | |
| write some more about other computer cops using the same method. | |
| I've now decided against it. | |
| I got the message...and the message was "You aren't the | |
| only one who can hack out information." I'd always expected to | |
| get the typical "cop treatment" if I ever got caught doing | |
| anything, but I think this was worse. Hell, I never know where | |
| the guy's gonna show up next. I've received cryptic messages on | |
| the IRC from a variety of accounts and servers all over the | |
| country and on various "private" BBSs and got one on my birthday | |
| on my Internet account...it traced back to an anonymous server | |
| somewhere in the bowels of UCLA. I don't know anyone at UCLA | |
| and the internet account I have is an anonymous account actually | |
| owned by another friend of mine. | |
| I think the point I'm trying to make is that all of us | |
| have to be aware of how the cops think in order to protect | |
| ourselves and the things we believe in. But...shaking the | |
| hornet's nest in order to see what comes out maybe isn't the | |
| coolest way to investigate. | |
| Like I wrote in my previous article, we've all gotten a | |
| big laugh from keystone cops like Foley and Golden, but things | |
| may be changing. Local and federal agencies are beginning to | |
| cooperate on a regular basis and international agencies are also | |
| beginning to join the party. | |
| The big push to eradicate child-pornography has led to a number of | |
| hackers being caught in the search for the "dirty old men" on the Internet. | |
| Baker was the Kentucky cop who was singularly responsible for the bust of the | |
| big kiddie-porn FSP site at the University of Birmingham in England back | |
| in April and got a lot of press coverage about it. But I had personally | |
| never considered that a cop could hack his way into a password-protected | |
| FSP site. And why would he care about something happening on the other | |
| side of the world? Hackers do it, but not cops...unless the cops are | |
| hackers. Hmmm...theories anyone? | |
| I don't live in Louisville anymore...not because of | |
| Baker, but because of some other problems, but I still look over | |
| my shoulder. It would be easier if the guy was a prick, but I'm | |
| more paranoid of the friendly good-ole boy than the raving | |
| lunatic breaking in our front doors with a sledge hammer. I | |
| always thought we were safe because we knew so much more than | |
| the people chasing us. I'm not so certain of that anymore. | |
| So that's it. I made the mistakes of 1) probably | |
| embarrassing a guy who I thought would never be able to touch me | |
| and 2), drawing attention to myself. A hacker's primary | |
| protection lies in his anonymity...those who live the high | |
| profiles are the ones who take the falls and, although I haven't | |
| fallen yet, I keep having the feeling that I'm standing on the | |
| edge and that I know the guy sneaking up behind me. | |
| From the shadows-- | |
| The Grimmace | |
| [HsL - RAt - UQQ] | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| !! PHRACK READS !! | |
| "Cyberia" by Douglas Rushkoff | |
| Review by Erik Bloodaxe | |
| Imagine a book about drugs written by someone who never inhaled. | |
| Imagine a book about raves written by someone saw a flyer once. | |
| Imagine a book about computers by someone who someone who thinks | |
| a macintosh is complex. | |
| Imagine an author trying to make a quick buck by writing about something | |
| his publisher said was hot and would sell. | |
| And there you have Cyberia, by Douglas Rushkoff. | |
| I have got to hand it to this amazing huckster Rushkoff, though. By | |
| publishing Cyberia, and simultaneously putting out "The Gen X Reader," | |
| (which by the way is unequaled in its insipidness), he has covered all | |
| bases for the idiot masses to devour at the local bookseller. | |
| Rushkoff has taken it upon himself to coin new terms such as | |
| "Cyberia," the electronic world we live in; "Cyberians," the people | |
| who live and play online; etc... | |
| Like we needed more buzzwords to add to a world full of "Infobahns" | |
| "console cowboys," and "phrackers." Pardon me while I puke. | |
| The "interviews" with various denizens of Rushkoff's "Cyberia" come off | |
| as fake as if I were to attempt to publish an interview with Mao Tse Tung | |
| in the next issue of Phrack. | |
| We've got ravers talking on and on about "E" and having deep conversations | |
| about smart drugs and quantum physics. Let's see: in the dozens of raves | |
| I've been to in several states the deepest conversation that popped | |
| up was "uh, do you have any more of that acid?" and "this mix is cool." | |
| And these conversations were from the more eloquent of the nearly all under | |
| 21 crowd that the events attracted. Far from quantum physicians. | |
| And beyond that, its been "ecstasy" or "X" in every drug culture I've wandered | |
| through since I walked up the bar of Maggie Mae's on Austin, Texas' 6th Street | |
| in the early 80's with my fake id and bought a pouch of the magic elixir over | |
| the counter from the bartender (complete with printed instructions). | |
| NOT "E." But that's just nit-picking. | |
| Now we have the psychedelic crowd. Listening to the "Interviews" of these | |
| jokers reminds me of a Cheech and Chong routine involving Sergeant Stedanko. | |
| "Some individuals who have smoked Mary Jane, or Reefer oftimes turn to | |
| harder drugs such as LSD." That's not a quote from the book, but it may | |
| as well be. People constantly talk about "LSD-this" and "LSD-that." | |
| Hell, if someone walked into a room and went on about how he enjoyed his | |
| last "LSD experience" the way these people do, you'd think they were | |
| really really stupid, or just a cop. "Why no, we've never had any of | |
| that acid stuff. Is it like LSD?" Please. | |
| Then there are the DMT fruitcakes. Boys and girls, DMT isn't being sold | |
| on the street corner in Boise. In fact, I think it would be easier for most | |
| people to get a portable rocket launcher than DMT. Nevertheless, in every | |
| fucking piece of tripe published about the "new psychedlicia" DMT is | |
| splattered all over it. Just because Terrance Fucking McKenna | |
| saw little pod people, does not mean it serves any high position | |
| in the online community. | |
| And Hackers? Oh fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Douglas. From Craig Neidorf's | |
| hacker Epiphany while playing Adventure on his Atari VCS to Gail | |
| Thackeray's tearful midnight phonecall to Rushkoff when Phiber Optik | |
| was raided for the 3rd time. PLEASE! I'm sure Gail was up to her eyebrows | |
| in bourbon, wearing a party hat and prank calling hackers saying "You're next, | |
| my little pretty!" Not looking for 3rd-rate schlock journalists to whine to. | |
| The Smart Drink Girl? The Mondo House? Gee...how Cyber. Thanks, but | |
| no thanks. | |
| I honestly don't know if Rushkoff really experienced any of this nonsense, | |
| or if he actually stumbled on a few DMT crystals and smoked this | |
| reality. Let's just say, I think Mr. Rushkoff was absent the day | |
| his professor discussed "Creative License in Journalism" and just decided | |
| to wing it. | |
| Actually, maybe San Francisco really is like this. But NOWHERE else on | |
| the planet can relate. And shit, if I wanted to read a GOOD San | |
| Francisco book, I'd reread Armistead Maupin's "Tales of the City." | |
| This book should have been called "Everything I Needed to Know About | |
| Cyber-Culture I Learned in Mondo-2000." | |
| Seriously...anyone who reads this book and finds anything remotely | |
| close to the reality of the various scenes it weakly attempts to | |
| cover needs to email me immediately. I have wiped my ass with | |
| better pulp. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| BOOK REVIEW: INFORMATION WARFARE | |
| CHAOS ON THE ELECTRONIC SUPERHIGHWAY | |
| By Winn Schwartau | |
| INFORMATION WARFARE - CHAOS ON THE ELECTRONIC SUPERHIGHWAY | |
| By Winn Schwartau. (C)opyright 1994 by the author | |
| Thunder's Mouth Press, 632 Broadway / 7th floor / New York, NY 10012 | |
| ISBN 1-56025-080-1 - Price $22.95 | |
| Distributed by Publishers Group West, 4065 Hollis St. / Emeryville, CA 94608 | |
| (800) 788-3123 | |
| Review by Scott Davis (dfox@fennec.com) | |
| (from tjoauc1-4 ftp: freeside.com /pub/tjoauc) | |
| If you only buy one book this year, make sure it is INFORMATION WARFARE! | |
| In my 10+ years of existing in cyberspace and seeing people and organizations | |
| debate, argue and contemplate security issues, laws, personal privacy, | |
| and solutions to all of these issues...and more, never have I seen a more | |
| definitive publication. In INFORMATION WARFARE, Winn Schwartau simply | |
| draws the line on the debating. The information in this book is hard-core, | |
| factual documentation that leaves no doubt in this reader's mind that | |
| the world is in for a long, hard ride in regards to computer security. | |
| The United States is open to the world's electronic terrorists. | |
| When you finish reading this book, you will find out just how open we are. | |
| Mr. Schwartau talks about industrial espionage, hacking, viruses, | |
| eavesdroping, code-breaking, personal privacy, HERF guns, EMP/T bombs, | |
| magnetic weaponry, and the newest phrase of our generation... | |
| "Binary Schizophrenia". He exposes these topics from all angles. If you | |
| spend any amount of time in Cyberspace, this book is for you. | |
| How much do you depend on technology? | |
| ATM machines, credit cards, toasters, VCR's, televisions, computers, | |
| telephones, modems...the list goes on. You use technology and computers | |
| and don't even know it! But the point is...just how safe are you from | |
| invasion? How safe is our country's secrets? The fact is - they are NOT | |
| SAFE! How easy is it for someone you don't know to track your every move | |
| on a daily basis? VERY EASY! Are you a potential victim to fraud, | |
| breech of privacy, or general infractions against the way you carry | |
| on your daily activities? YES! ...and you'd never guess how vulnerable | |
| we all are! | |
| This book will take you deep into places the government refuses to | |
| acknowledge. You should know about INFORMATION WARFARE. Order your | |
| copy today, or pick it up at your favorite book store. You will not | |
| regret it. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| _Firewalls and Internet Security: Repelling the Wily Hacker_ | |
| William R. Cheswick <ches@research.att.com> | |
| Steven M. Bellovin <smb@research.att.com> | |
| Addison-Wesley, ISBN 0-201-63357-4 | |
| 306 + XIV = 320 pages | |
| (Printed on recycled paper) | |
| A-Somewhat-Less-Enthusiastic-Review | |
| Reviewed by Herd Beast | |
| The back of this book claims that, "_Firewalls and Internet Security_ | |
| gives you invaluable advice and practical tools for protecting your | |
| organization's computers from the very real threat of hacker attacks." | |
| That is true. The authors also add something from their knowledge of | |
| these hacker attacks. The book can be roughly separated into two | |
| parts: Firewalls, and, you guessed it: Internet Security. That is | |
| how I see it. The book itself is divided into four parts (Getting | |
| Started, Building Your Own Firewall, A Look Back & Odds and Ends), | |
| three appendixes, a bibliography, a list of 42 bombs and an index. | |
| The book starts with overall explanations and an overview of the | |
| TCP/IP protocol. More than an overview of the actual TCP/IP protocol, | |
| it is a review of services often used with that protocol, and the | |
| security risks they pose. In that chapter the authors define | |
| "bombs" -- as particularly serious security risks. Despite that fact, | |
| and the tempting bomb list in the end, this book is not a guide for | |
| someone with passing knowledge of Internet security who wants to learn | |
| more explicit details about holes. It is, in the authors' words, "not | |
| a book on how to administer a system in a secure fashion." | |
| FIREWALLS (Including the TCP/IP overview: pages 19-131) | |
| What is a firewall and how is it built?(*) If you don't know that, | |
| then definitely get this book. The Firewalls chapter is excellent | |
| even for someone with a passing knowledge of firewalls or general | |
| knowledge of what they set out to accomplish. You might still | |
| learn more. | |
| In the Firewalls chapter, the authors explain the firewall philosophy | |
| and types of firewalls. Packet-filtering gateways rely on rule-based | |
| packet filtering to protect the gateway from various types of attacks. | |
| You can filter everything and achieve the same effect of disconnecting | |
| from the Internet, you can filter everything from misbehaving sites, | |
| you can allow only mail in, and so on. An application-level gateway | |
| relies on the applications set on the firewall. Rather then let a | |
| router filter traffic based on rules, one can strip a machine clean | |
| and only run desired services -- and even then, more secure versions | |
| of those services can be run. Circuit-level gateways relay data | |
| between the gateway and other networks. The relay programs copy | |
| data from inside the firewall to the outside, and log their activity. | |
| Most firewalls on the Internet are a combination of these gateways. | |
| Next, the authors explain how to build an application-level gateway | |
| based on the work they have done with the research.att.com gateways. | |
| As mentioned, this chapter is indeed very good. They go over setting | |
| up the firewall machines, router configuration for basic packet | |
| filtering (such as not allowing Internet packets that appear to come | |
| from inside your network). They show, using the software on the | |
| AT&T gateway as example, the general outline of proxies and give some | |
| useful advise. That chapter is very interesting; reading it with Bill | |
| Cheswick's (older) paper, "The Design of a Secure Internet Gateway" makes | |
| it even better. The examples given, like the NFS and X proxies run on the | |
| gateway, are also interesting by themselves. | |
| INTERNET SECURITY (pages 133-237) | |
| Internet security is a misleading name. This part might also be | |
| called "Everything else." Most of it is a review of hacker attacks | |
| logged by AT&T's gateway probes, and of their experience with a hacker. | |
| But there is also a chapter dedicated to computer crime and the law -- | |
| computer crime statutes, log files as evidence, the legalities of | |
| monitoring intruders and letting them keep their access after finding | |
| them, and the ethics of many actions performed on the Internet; plus | |
| an introduction to cryptography under Secure Communication over Insecure | |
| Networks. The later sections are good. The explanation of several | |
| encryption methods and short reviews of applications putting them to use | |
| (PEM, PGP and RIPEM) are clear (as clear as cryptography can get) and the | |
| computer crime sections are also good -- although I'm not a lawyer and | |
| therefore cannot really comment on it, and notes that look like "5 USC | |
| 552a(b)(c)(10)" cause me to shudder. It's interesting to note that some | |
| administrative functions as presented in this book, what the authors call | |
| counter-intelligence (reverse fingers and rusers) and booby traps and fake | |
| password file are open for ethical debate. Perhaps they are not illegal, | |
| but counter-intelligence can surely ring the warning bells on the site being | |
| counter-fingered if that site itself is security aware. | |
| That said, let's move to hackers. I refer to these as "hacker studies", | |
| or whatever, for lack of a better name. This is Part III (A Look | |
| Back), which contains the methods of attacks (social engineering, | |
| stealing passwords, etc), the Berferd incident (more on that later), | |
| and an analysis (statistical and otherwise) of the Bell Labs gateway | |
| logs. | |
| Back to where we started, there is nothing new or innovative about | |
| these chapters. The Berferd hacker case is not new, it is mostly just | |
| uninteresting. The chapter is mostly a copy (they do state this) of | |
| Bill Cheswick's paper titled "A Night with Berferd, in Which a Cracker | |
| is Lured, Endured and Studied." The chapter concerning probes and | |
| door-knob twisting on the Internet (Traps, Lures, and Honey Pots) | |
| is mostly a copy (they do not state this) of Steven Bellovin's paper | |
| titled, "There Be Dragons". What do we learn from the hacker-related | |
| chapters? Let's take Berferd: The Sendmail DEBUG hole expert. After | |
| mailing himself a password file and receiving it with a space after | |
| the username, he tries to add accounts in a similar fashion. Cheswick | |
| calls him "flexible". I might have chosen another F-word. Next are | |
| the hacker logs. People finger. People tftp /etc/passwd. People try | |
| to rlogin as bin. There are no advanced attacks in these sections. | |
| Compared with the scary picture painted in the Firewalls chapter -- | |
| that of the Bad Guy spoofing hostnames, flooding DNS caches, faking | |
| NFS packets and much more -- something must have gone wrong.(**) | |
| Still, I cannot say that this information is totally useless. It is, | |
| as mentioned, old. It is available and was available since 1992 | |
| on ftp://research.att.com:{/dist/internet_security,/dist/smb}. (***) | |
| The bottom line is that this book is, in my opinion, foremost and upmost | |
| a Firewaller's book. The hacker section could have been condensed | |
| into Appendix D, a copy of the CERT advisory about computer attacks | |
| ("Don't use guest/guest. Don't leave root unpassworded.") It really | |
| takes ignorance to believe that inexperienced hackers can learn "hacker | |
| techniques" and become mean Internet break-in machines just by reading | |
| _Firewalls and Internet Security_. Yes, even the chapter dedicated | |
| to trying to attack your own machine to test your security (The Hacker's | |
| Workbench) is largely theoretical. That is to say, it doesn't go above | |
| comments like "attack NFS". The probes and source code supplied there are | |
| for programs like IP subnet scanners and so on, and not for "high-level" | |
| stuff like ICMP bombers or similar software; only the attacks are | |
| mentioned, not to implementation. This is, by the way, quite | |
| understandable and expected, but don't buy this book if you think it | |
| will make you into some TCP/IP attacker wiz. | |
| In summary: | |
| THE GOOD | |
| The Firewalls part is excellent. The other parts not related to | |
| hacker-tracking are good as well. The added bonuses -- in the form | |
| of a useful index, a full bibliography (with pointers to FTP sites), | |
| a TCP port list with interesting comments and a great (running out | |
| of positive descriptions here) online resources list -- are also | |
| grand (whew). | |
| THE BAD | |
| The hacker studies sections, based on old (circa 1992) papers, are | |
| not interesting for anyone with any knowledge of hacking and/or | |
| security who had some sort of encounters with hackers. People without | |
| this knowledge might either get the idea that: (a) all hackers are | |
| stupid and (b) all hackers are Berferd-style system formatters. Based on | |
| the fact that the authors do not make a clear-cut statement about | |
| hiring or not hiring hackers, they just say that you should think | |
| if you trust them, and that they generally appear not to have a total | |
| draconian attitude towards hackers in general, I don't think this was | |
| intentional. | |
| THE UGLY (For the nitpickers) | |
| There are some nasty little bugs in the book. They're not errors | |
| in that sense of the word; they're just kind of annoying -- if you're | |
| sensitive about things like being called a hacker or a cracker, they'll | |
| annoy you. Try this: although they explain why they would use the term | |
| "hacker" when referring to hackers (and not "eggsucker", or "cracker"), | |
| they often use terms like "Those With Evil Intention". Or, comparing | |
| _2600 Magazine_ to the Computer underground Digest. | |
| (*) From the Firewalls FAQ <fwalls-faq@tis.com>: | |
| ``A firewall is any one of several ways of protecting one | |
| network from another untrusted network. The actual mechanism | |
| whereby this is accomplished varies widely, but in | |
| principle, the firewall can be thought of as a pair of | |
| mechanisms: one which exists to block traffic, and the other | |
| which exists to permit traffic. Some firewalls place a | |
| greater emphasis on blocking traffic, while others emphasize | |
| permitting traffic.'' | |
| (**) This would be a great place to start a long and boring discussion | |
| about different types of hackers and how security (including firewalls) | |
| affect them. But... I don't think so. | |
| (***) ftp://research.att.com:/dist/internet_security/firewall.book also | |
| contains, in text and PostScript, the list of parts, chapters and | |
| sections in the book, and the Preface section. For that reason, | |
| those sections weren't printed here. | |
| All the papers mentioned in this review can be found on that FTP | |
| site. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| Announcing Bellcore's Electronic Information Catalog for Industry | |
| Clients... | |
| To access the online catalog: | |
| telnet info.bellcore.com | |
| login: cat10 | |
| or dial 201-829-2005 | |
| annex: telnet info | |
| login: cat10 | |
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| CCC UUU R R M M UUU DDDD GGG EEEEE OOO N N | |
| Bill Clinton promised good health care coverage for everyone. | |
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| %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% | |
| % The Journal Of American Underground Computing - ISSN 1074-3111 % | |
| %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% | |
| Computing - Communications - Politics - Security - Technology - Humor | |
| -Underground - Editorials - Reviews - News - Other Really Cool Stuff- | |
| Published Quarterly/Semi-Quarterly By Fennec Information Systems | |
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| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| Make the best out of your European pay telephone | |
| by Onkel Dittmeyer, onkeld@ponton.hanse.de | |
| ----------------------------------------------------- | |
| Okay guys and girls, let's come to a topic old like the creation | |
| but yet never revealed. European, or, to be more exact, German pay | |
| phone technology. Huh-huh. | |
| There are several models, round ones, rectangular ones, spiffy | |
| looking ones, dull looking ones, and they all have one thing in | |
| common: If they are something, they are not what the American reader | |
| might think of a public pay telephone, unlike it's U.S. brothers, | |
| the German payphones always operate off a regular customer-style | |
| telephone line, and therefore they're basically all COCOTS, which | |
| makes it a lot easier to screw around with them. | |
| Let's get on with the models here. You are dealing with two | |
| classes; coin-op ones and card-op ones. All of them are made by | |
| Siemens and TELEKOM. The coin-op ones are currently in the process | |
| of becoming extinct while being replaced by the new card-op's, and rather | |
| dull. Lacking all comfort, they just have a regular 3x4 keypad, | |
| and they emit a cuckoo tone if you receive a call. The only way to | |
| tamper with these is pure physical violence, which is still easier | |
| than in the U.S.; these babies are no fortresses at all. Well, while | |
| the coin-op models just offer you the opportunity of ripping off | |
| their money by physically forcing them open, there is a lot more | |
| fun involved if you're dealing with the card babies. They are really | |
| spiffy looking, and I mean extraordinary spiffy. Still nothing | |
| compared to the AT&T VideoFoNeZ, but still really spiffy. The 2-line | |
| pixel-oriented LCD readout displays the pure K-Radness of it's | |
| inventors. Therefore it is equipped with a 4x4 keypad that has a lot | |
| of (undocumented) features like switching the mother into touch-tone | |
| mode, redial, display block etc. Plus, you can toggle the readout | |
| between German, English, and French. There are rumors that you can | |
| put it into Mandarin as well, but that has not been confirmed yet. | |
| Let's get ahead. Since all payphones are operating on a regular | |
| line, you can call them up. Most of them have a sign reading their | |
| number, some don't. For those who don't, there is no way for you to | |
| figure out their number, since they did not invent ANI yet over here | |
| in the country famous for its good beer and yodel chants. Well, try | |
| it. I know you thought about it. Call it collect. Dialing 010 will | |
| drop you to a long-distance operator, just in case you didn't know. | |
| He will connect the call, since there is no database with all the | |
| payphone numbers, the payphone will ring, you pick up, the operator | |
| will hear the cuckoo tone, and tell you to fuck off. Bad luck, eh? | |
| This would not be Phrack if there would be no way to screw it. | |
| If you examine the hook switch on it closely, you will figure out | |
| that, if you press it down real slow and carefully, there are two | |
| levels at whom it provokes a function; the first will make the phone | |
| hang up the line, the second one to reset itself. Let me make this | |
| a little clearer in your mind. | |
| ----- <--- totally released | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | <--- hang up line | |
| press to this level --> | | |
| | <--- reset | |
| | | |
| ----- <--- totally hung up | |
| Involves a little practice, though. Just try it. Dial a number | |
| it will let you dial, like 0130, then it will just sit there and | |
| wait for you to dial the rest of the number. Start pressing down | |
| the hookswitch really slow till the line clicks away into suspense, | |
| if you release it again it will return you to the dial tone and | |
| you are now able to call numbers you aren't supposed to call, like | |
| 010 (if you don't have a card, don't have one, that's not graceful), | |
| or 001-212-456-1111. Problem is, the moment the other party picks | |
| up, the phone will receive a charge subtraction tone, which is a | |
| 16kHz buzz that will tell the payphone to rip the first charge unit, | |
| 30 pfennigs, off your card, and if you don't have one inserted and | |
| the phone fails to collect it, it will go on and reset itself | |
| disconnecting the line. Bad luck. Still good enough to harass your | |
| favorite fellas for free, but not exactly what we're looking for, | |
| right? Try this one. Push the hook lever to the suspension point, | |
| and let it sit there for a while, you will have to release it a | |
| bit every 5 seconds or so, or the phone will reset anyway. If you | |
| receive a call while doing this, a buzz will appear on the line. | |
| Upon that buzz, let the lever go and you'll be connected, and | |
| the cuckoo tone will be shut up! So if you want to receive a collect | |
| call, this is how you do it. Tell the operator you accept the charges, | |
| and talk away. You can use this method overseas, too: Just tell your | |
| buddy in the states to call Germany Direct (800-292-0049) and make | |
| a collect call to you waiting in the payphone, and you save a cool | |
| $1.17 a minute doing that. So much for the kids that just want to | |
| have some cheap fun, and on with the rest. | |
| Wasting so much time in that rotten payphone, you probably | |
| noticed the little black box beneath the phone. During my, erm, | |
| research I found out that this box contains some fuses, a standard | |
| Euro 220V power connector, and a TAE-F standard phone connector. | |
| Completing the fun is the fact that it's extremely easy to pry it | |
| open. The TAE-F plug is also bypassing the phone and the charge | |
| collection circuits, so you can just use it like your jack at home. | |
| Bring a crowbar and your laptop, or your Pentium tower, power it over | |
| the payphone and plug your Dual into the jack. This way you can even | |
| run a board from a payphone, and people can download the latest | |
| WaReZzzZzz right from the booth. It's preferable to obtain a key for | |
| the lock of the box, just do some malicious damage to it (yes, let | |
| the animal take control), and call Telekom Repairs at 1171 and they | |
| will come and fix it. Since they always leave their cars unlocked, | |
| or at least for the ones I ran across, you can either take the whole | |
| car or all their k-rad equipment, manuals, keys, and even their lunch | |
| box. But we're shooting off topic here. The keys are usually general | |
| keys, means they fit on all payphones in your area. There should also | |
| be a nationwide master key, but the German Minister of Tele- | |
| communications is probably keeping that one in his desk drawer. | |
| The chargecards for the card-op ones appear to have a little chip | |
| on them, where each charge unit is being deducted, and since no-one | |
| could figure out how it works, or how to refill the cards or make a | |
| fake one, but a lot of German phreaks are busy trying to figure that | |
| out. | |
| A good approach is also social-engineering Telekom so they turn | |
| off the charge deduction signal (which doesn't mean the call are free, | |
| but the buzz is just not transmitted any more) so the phone doesn't | |
| receive a signal to charge you any money no matter where you call. | |
| The problem with this method is that the world will spread in the | |
| neighborhood that there is a payphone where you can call for free, | |
| and therefore it will be so crowded that you can't use it, and | |
| the phone pals will catch up fast. It's fun though, I tried it, and | |
| I still get free drinks at the local pub for doing it. | |
| Another k-rad feature on them is the built-in modem that they use | |
| to get their software. On a fatal error condition they appear to dial | |
| a telecom number and download the latest software just how their ROM | |
| commands them to do. We will shortly take a phone, install it some- | |
| where else and figure out where it calls, what the protocol is and | |
| what else is being transmitted, but that will probably be in another | |
| Phrack. | |
| If you found out anything that might be of interest, you are | |
| welcome to mail it to onkeld@ponton.hanse.de using the public key | |
| beneath. Unencrypted mail will be killed since ponton.hanse.de is | |
| run by a paranoid bitch that reads all traffic just for the hell | |
| of it, and I don't want the phedzZz to come and beat me over the | |
| head with a frozen chunk o' meat or worse. | |
| Stay alert, watch out and have fun... | |
| -----BEGIN PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK----- | |
| Version: 2.3a | |
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| Q0woIxrM5ltnnuCBJGrGNskt3IMXsav6+YFjG6IA8YRHgvWEwYrTeW2tniS7/dXY | |
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| tChPbmtlbCBEaXR0bWV5ZXIgPG9ua2VsZEBwb250b24uaGFuc2UuZGU+ | |
| =b5ar | |
| -----END PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK----- | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| _ _ _ _ | |
| ((___)) INFORMATION IS JUNK MAIL ((___)) | |
| [ x x ] [ x x ] | |
| \ / cDc communications \ / | |
| (' ') -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc- (' ') | |
| (U) (U) | |
| deal with it, presents unto you 10 phat t-files, deal with it, | |
| S U C K E R fresh for July 1994: S U C K E R | |
| New gNu NEW gnU new GnU nEW gNu neW gnu nEw GNU releases for July, 1994: | |
| _________________________________/Text Files\_________________________________ | |
| 261: "Interview with Greta Shred" by Reid Fleming. Reid conducts an in-depth | |
| interview with the editor of the popular 'zine, _Mudflap_. | |
| 262: "_Beverly Hills 90210_ as Nostalgia Television" by Crystal Kile. Paper | |
| presented for the 1993 National Popular Culture Association meeting in New | |
| Orleans. | |
| 263: "What Color Is the Sky in Your World?" by Tequila Willy. Here's your | |
| homework, done right for you by T. "Super-Brain" Willy. | |
| 264: "Chicken Hawk" by Mark E. Dassad. Oh boy. Here's a new watermark low | |
| level of depravity and sickness. If you don't know what a "chicken hawk" is | |
| already, read the story and then you'll understand. | |
| 265: "Eye-r0N-EE" by Swamp Ratte'. This one's interesting 'cause only about | |
| half-a-dozen or so lines in it are original. The rest was entirely stuck | |
| together from misc. files on my hard drive at the time. Some art guy could say | |
| it's a buncha post-this&that, eh? Yep. | |
| 266: "Interview with Barbie" by Clench. Barbie's got her guard up. Clench | |
| goes after her with his rope-a-dope interview style. Rope-a-dope, rope-a-dope. | |
| This is a boxing reference to a technique mastered by The Greatest of All Time, | |
| Muhamed Ali. | |
| 267: "About a Boy" by Franken Gibe. Mr. Gibe ponders a stolen photograph. | |
| Tiny bunnies run about, unhindered, to find their own fate. | |
| 268: "Mall Death" by Snarfblat. Story about a Dumb Girl[TM]. Are you | |
| surprised? | |
| 269: "Prophile: Future History" by THE NIGHTSTALKER. It's the future, things | |
| are different, but the Master Hacker Dude lives on. | |
| 270: "Time out for Pop" by Malcolm D. Moore. Sad account of a hopless-pop. | |
| __________________________________/cDc Gnuz\__________________________________ | |
| "And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name | |
| of the Cow, or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath | |
| understanding count the number of the Cow: for it is the number of a man; and | |
| his number is eight billion threescore and seven million nine hundred fourty- | |
| four thousand three hundred threescore and two. So it is written." -Omega | |
| Yowsah, yowsah, yowsah. JULY once again, the super-hooray month which marks | |
| cDc's 8th year of existence. Outlasting everyone to completely rule and | |
| dominate all of cyberspace, blah blah blah. Yeah, think a special thought | |
| about cDc's significance in YOUR life the next time you go potty. Name your | |
| firstborn child after me, and we'll call it karmicly even, pal. My name is | |
| Leroy. | |
| We're always taking t-file submissions, so if you've got a file and want to | |
| really get it out there, there's no better way than with cDc. Upload text to | |
| The Polka AE, to sratte@phantom.com, or send disks or hardcopy to the cDc post | |
| office box in Lubbock, TX. No song lyrics and bad poetry please; we'll leave | |
| that to the no-class-havin', bottom-feeder e-shoveling orgs. out there. | |
| News item of the month, as found by Count Zero: | |
| "ROTTING PIG FOUND IN DITCH | |
| VERDEN, OKLAHOMA - Responding to a tip from an employee, Verden farmer Bill | |
| McVey found a rotting pig in a ditch two miles north of town. Farmer McVey | |
| reported the pig to the authorities, because you cannot, legally, just leave a | |
| dead pig in a ditch. You must dispose of your deceased livestock properly. | |
| There are companies that will take care of this for you. As for proper | |
| disposal of large dead animals, McVey contracts with Used Cow Dealer." | |
| "...and the rivers ran red with the bl00d | |
| of the Damned and the Deleted..." | |
| -Dem0nSeed | |
| S. Ratte' | |
| cDc/Editor and P|-|Ear13zz |_3@DeRrr | |
| "We're into t-files for the groupies and money." | |
| Middle finger for all. | |
| Write to: cDc communications, P.O. Box 53011, Lubbock, TX 79453. | |
| Internet: sratte@phantom.com. | |
| ALL cDc FILES LEECHABLE FROM FTP.EFF.ORG IN pub/Publications/CuD/CDC. | |
| _____________________________________________________________________________ | |
| cDc Global Domination Update #16-by Swamp Ratte'-"Hyperbole is our business" | |
| Copyright (c) 1994 cDc communications. All Rights Reserved. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| ===[ Radio Modification Project ]===========================================> | |
| Tuning in to Lower Frequency Signals June 26, 1994 | |
| ====================================================[ By: Grendel / 905 ]===> | |
| The lower frequency regions of the radio spectrum are often | |
| ignored by ham'ers, pirates, and DX'ers alike due to the | |
| relatively little known ways of tuning in. The following article | |
| will detail how to construct a simple-made antenna to tune in | |
| to the LF's and show how to adjust an amateur band type radio | |
| to receive the desired signals. | |
| ___________ | |
| \ / | |
| \/: \/ | |
| / . \ | |
| \_______/he lower frequency spectrum has been made to include | |
| the very low frequency ("VLF" 2 kHz to 30 kHz) band and a | |
| small part of the medium frequency ("MF" 300 - 500 kHz) band. | |
| For our purposes, a suitable receiver must be able to cover | |
| the 2 kHz to 500 kHz range as well as being calibrated at 10 | |
| kHz intervals (standard). The receiver must also be capable of | |
| covering AM and CW broadcasts. For best capabilities, the | |
| receiver should also be able to cover LSB ("lower side band") | |
| and USB ("upper side band"). | |
| The Receiving System | |
| `'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`' | |
| The receiver I use consists of a standard amateur HF ("High | |
| Frequency") band receiver adjusted between the 3,500 and 4,000 | |
| kHz bands. This causes the receiver to act as a tuneable IF | |
| ("Intermediate Frequency") and also as demodulator. You will | |
| also require a wideband LF ("Low Frequency") converter which | |
| includes a 3,500 kHz crystal oscillator. See Fig. 1: | |
| .==[ Fig 1. Block Diagram ]============================. | |
| | _____ | | |
| | \ANT/ | | |
| | \./ crystal | | |
| | | ______|______ ____________ | | |
| | `-----| 2 - 500 kHz | | 3-4000 kHz | | | |
| | | Converter* |--~--| IF Receiver|---OUTPUT | | |
| | .-----|_____________| |____________| | | |
| | | | | |
| | GND | | |
| |______________________________________________________| | |
| *The converter is a circuit board type 80D/L-101/PCB | |
| available from L.F. Engineering Co, 17 Jeffry Road, | |
| East Haven CT, 06513 for $43 US including S & H.One | |
| may be constructed to work with your receiver (but | |
| at a higher price no doubt). | |
| Phono jack plugs and sockets are used for the interconnections | |
| throughout the receiving system and the converter and | |
| receiver (~) are connected with RG58 coax cable of no greater | |
| length than 4 ft. | |
| When tuning, the station frequency is measured by deducting | |
| 3,500 kHz from the scale on the main receiver (ie. 340 kHz = | |
| 3,840 kHz on the main receiver, 120 = 3,620 kHz, 95 = 3,595 | |
| kHz, etc.) | |
| The Ferrite End-fed Antenna | |
| `'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'` | |
| This is a small antenna designed to tune between 95 kHz and | |
| 500 kHz. It consists of a coil wound around a ferrite rod, with | |
| a 4 ft. lead. | |
| Materials: | |
| o 7 7/8" x 3/8" ferrite rod | |
| o 5" 24 SWG double cotton covered copper wire | |
| o 2 PLASTIC coated terry clips | |
| o a wood or plastic base (8 1/2" x .8" x .5") | |
| o 2 standard, two-gang 500 pF tuning capacitors | |
| o a plastic plate (preferably 2" high) | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| -- A Few Things on Van Eck's Method of Eavesdroping -- | |
| Opticon the Disassembled - UPi | |
| Dr Wim Van Eck, was the one who developed the anonymous method for | |
| eavesdroping computers ( and, apparently, not only ) from distance, | |
| in the laboratories of Neher, Holland. This method is based on the | |
| fact that monitors do transmit electromagnetic radiations. As a device, | |
| it is not too complex and it can be constructed from an experienced | |
| electronics phreak. It uses a simple-direction antenna which grabs | |
| monitor signals from about 800 meters away. Simplified schematics are | |
| available from Consumertronics. | |
| TEMPEST stands for Transient ElectroMagnetic Pulse Emanation STandard. | |
| It concerns the quantity of electromagnetic radiations from monitors and | |
| televisions, although they can also be detected on keyboards, wires, | |
| printers and central units. There are some security levels in which such | |
| radiations are supposed to be untraceable by Van Eck systems. Those | |
| security levels or standards, are described thoroughly in a technical | |
| exposition called NACSIM 5100A, which has been characterized by NSA | |
| classified. | |
| Variations of the voltage of the electrical current, cause electromagnetic | |
| pulses in the form of radio waves. In cathode ray tube ( C.R.T. ) devices, | |
| such as televisions and monitors, a source of electrons scans the internal | |
| surface and activates phosphore. Whether or not the scanning is interlaced or | |
| non-interlaced, most monitors transmit frequencies varying from 50 to 75 | |
| Mhz per second. They also transmit harmonic frequencies, multiplies of the | |
| basic frequencies; for example a transmitter with signal of 10 Mhz per second | |
| will also transmit waves of 20, 30, 40 etc. Mhz. Those signals are | |
| weaker because the transmiter itself effaces them. Such variations in the | |
| voltage is what the Van Eck system receives and analyzes. | |
| There are ways to prevent or make it harder for someone to monitor | |
| your monitor. Obviously you cannot place your computer system | |
| underground and cover it with a Faraday cage or a copper shield | |
| ( If your case is already that, then you know more about Van Eck | |
| than I do ). What else ? | |
| (1) Certain computers, such as Wang's, prevent such divulges; | |
| give preference to them. | |
| (2) Place your monitor into a grounded metal box, 1.5 cm thick. | |
| (3) Trace your tracer(s). They gonna panic. | |
| (4) Increase of the brightness and lowering of the contrast | |
| reduces TEMPEST's power. Metal objects, like bookshelves, | |
| around the room, will also help a little bit. | |
| (5) Make sure that two or more monitors are transmitting at the same | |
| frequency and let them operate simultaneously; this will confuse | |
| Van Eck systems. | |
| (6) Buy or make on your own, a device which will transmit noise | |
| at your monitor's frequency. | |
| (7) Act naturally. That is: | |
| (a) Call IRC, join #hack and never mumble a single word. | |
| (b) Read only best selling books. | |
| (c) Watch television at least 8 hours a day. | |
| (d) Forget altruism; there is only you, yourself | |
| and your dick/crack. | |
| (8) Turn the monitor off. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| -Almost Busted- | |
| By: Deathstar | |
| It all started one week in the last month of summer. Only my brother | |
| and I were at the house for the whole week, so I did whatever I wanted. | |
| Every night, I would phreak all night long. I would be either at a payphone | |
| using AT&Tz, or at home sitting on a conference. I would be on the phone | |
| till at least four or five in the morning. But one night, my luck was running | |
| thin, and I almost phreaked for the last time. I was at a payphone, using | |
| cards. I had been there since around twelve midnight.. The payphone was | |
| in a shopping center with a supermarket and a few other stores. Most every | |
| thing closed at eleven.. Except for the nearby gas station. Anyway, I was | |
| on the phone with only one person that night. I knew the card would be dead | |
| by the end of the night so I went ahead and called him on both of his lines | |
| with both of the payphones in the complex with the same card. I had talked | |
| for hours. It started to get misty and hard to see. Then, I noticed a car | |
| of some kind pulling into the parking lot. I couldn't tell what kind of | |
| car it was, because it was so dark. The car started pulling up to me, and | |
| when it was around twenty feet away I realized it was a police car. They | |
| got on the loudspeaker and yelled "Stay where you are!". I dropped the | |
| phone and ran like hell past the supermarket to the edge of the complex. | |
| I went down a bike path into a neighborhood of townhouses. Running across | |
| the grass, I slipped and fell about two or three times. I knew they were | |
| following me, so I had to hide. I ran to the area around the back of | |
| the supermarket into a forest. I smacked right into a fence and fell | |
| on the ground. I did not see the fence since it was so dark. Crawling a | |
| few feet, I laid down and tried to cover my body with some leaves and | |
| dirt to hide. I was wearing an orange shirt and white shorts. I laid | |
| as still as I could, covered in dirt and leaves. I could hear the police | |
| nearby. They had flashlights and were walking through the forest looking | |
| for me. I knew I would get busted. I tried as hard as I could to keep | |
| from shaking in fear. I lay there for around thirty minutes. Bugs were | |
| crawling around on my legs biting me. I was itching all over. I couldn't | |
| give up though, because if they caught me I knew that would be the end | |
| of my phreaking career. I was trying to check if they were still looking | |
| for me, because I could not hear them. Just as I was about to make a run | |
| for it, thinking they were gone I heard a police radio. I sat tight again. | |
| For another hour, I lay there until finally I was sure they were gone. I | |
| got up and started to run. I made my way through the neighborhood to my | |
| house. Finally I got home. It was around five thirty a.m. I was filthy. | |
| The first thing I did was call the person I was talking to on the payphone | |
| and tell him what happened. Then, I changed clothes and cleaned myself up. | |
| I checked my vmb to find that a conference was up. I called it, and told | |
| my story to everyone on. | |
| I thought that was the end of my confrontation with the police, but I | |
| was wrong. The next day I had some people over at my house. Two or Three | |
| good friends. One of them said that there was a fugitive loose in our | |
| town. We were bored so we went out in the neighborhood to walk around | |
| and waste time. Hardly anyone was outside, and police cars were going | |
| around everywhere. One guy did leave his house but he brought a baseball | |
| bat with him. We thought it was funny. Anyway, we soon got bored and | |
| went back home. Watching tv, we turned to the news. They had a Report | |
| about the Fugitive. We watched. It showed a picture of the shopping | |
| center I was at. They said "One suspect was spotted at this shopping | |
| center last night at around four thirty in the morning. The officer | |
| is around ninety five percent sure that the suspect was the fugitive. | |
| He was wearing a orange shirt and white shorts, and ran when approached." | |
| I then freaked out. They were searching my neighborhood for a fugitive | |
| that didn't exist! I called back the guy I was talking to the night | |
| before and told him, and then told everyone that was on the conference | |
| the night before. It ended up that the fugitives never even entered | |
| our state. They were caught a week later around thirty miles from | |
| the prison they escaped from. Now I am known by two nicknames. "NatureBoy" | |
| because everyone says I communed with nature for a hour and a half hiding | |
| from the police, and "The Fugitive" for obvious reasons. Anywayz, That's | |
| how I was almost busted.. | |
| -DS | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
| The following is a *true* story. It amused the hell out of me while it | |
| was happening. I hope it isn't one of those "had to be there" things. | |
| Copyright 1994 Captain Sarcastic, all rights reserved. | |
| On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday ca$h I | |
| need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is | |
| a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. | |
| I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to | |
| worry about people getting pissed at me. | |
| ME: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go." | |
| IT: "Is that it?" | |
| ME: "Yep." | |
| IT: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?" | |
| ME: "No, it's *to* *go*." [I hate effort duplication.] | |
| At his point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it | |
| kind of funny and | |
| IT: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back." | |
| He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The | |
| following conversation occurs between the two of them. | |
| IT: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?" | |
| MG: "No. A what?" | |
| IT: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me." | |
| MG: "Ask for something else, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A $2 BILL." [my emp] | |
| IT: "Yeah, thought so." | |
| He comes back to me and says | |
| IT: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?" | |
| ME: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?" | |
| IT: "I don't know." | |
| ME: "See here where it says legal tender?" | |
| IT: "Yeah." | |
| ME: "So, shouldn't you take it?" | |
| IT: "Well, hang on a sec." | |
| He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to | |
| shoplift, and | |
| IT: "He says I have to take it." | |
| MG: "Doesn't he have anything else?" | |
| IT: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change." | |
| MG: "I'M NOT OPENING THE SAFE WITH HIM IN HERE." [my emp] | |
| IT: "What should I do?" | |
| MG: "Tell him to come back later when he has REAL money." | |
| IT: "I can't tell him that, you tell him." | |
| MG: "Just tell him." | |
| IT: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back." | |
| The manager approaches me and says | |
| MG: "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night." [it was 8pm and | |
| this particular Taco Bell is in a well lighted indoor mall with 100 | |
| other stores.] | |
| ME: "Well, here's a two." | |
| MG: "We don't take *those* either." | |
| ME: "Why the hell not?" | |
| MG: "I think you *know* why." | |
| ME: "No really, tell me, why?" | |
| MG: "Please leave before I call mall security." | |
| ME: "Excuse me?" | |
| MG: "Please leave before I call mall security." | |
| ME: "What the hell for?" | |
| MG: "Please, sir." | |
| ME: "Uh, go ahead, call them." | |
| MG: "Would you please just leave?" | |
| ME: "No." | |
| MG: "Fine, have it your way then." | |
| ME: "No, that's Burger King, isn't it?" | |
| At this point he BACKS away from me and calls mall security on the phone | |
| around the corner. I have two people STARING at me from the dining area, | |
| and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this | |
| 45 year oldish guy comes in and says [at the other end of counter, in a | |
| whisper] | |
| SG: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?" | |
| MG: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money." | |
| SG: "Really? What?" | |
| MG: "Get this, a *two* dollar bill." | |
| SG: "Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?" [incredulous] | |
| MG: "I don't know? He's kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is | |
| a fifty." | |
| SG: "So, the fifty's fake?" | |
| MG: "NO, the $2 is." | |
| SG: "Why would he fake a $2 bill?" | |
| MG: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?" | |
| SG: "Yeah..." | |
| Security guard walks over to me and says | |
| SG: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use." | |
| ME: "Uh, no." | |
| SG: "Lemme see 'em." | |
| ME: "Why?" | |
| SG: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?" | |
| At this point I was ready to say, "SURE, PLEASE," but I wanted to eat, so | |
| I said | |
| ME: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill." | |
| I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a | |
| swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, | |
| and says | |
| SG: "Mike, what's wrong with this bill?" | |
| MG: "It's fake." | |
| SG: "It doesn't look fake to me." | |
| MG: "But it's a **$2** bill." | |
| SG: "Yeah?" | |
| MG: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?" | |
| The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it | |
| dawned on the guy that he had no clue. | |
| My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon | |
| things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see | |
| what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of | |
| people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food. | |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |