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Provost: But what likelihood is in that? DUKE VINCENTIO: Not a resemblance, but a certainty. Yet since I see you fearful, that neither my coat, integrity, nor persuasion can with ease attempt you, I will go further than I meant, to pluck all fears out of you. Look you, sir, here is the hand and seal of the duke: you know the character, I doubt not; and the signet is not strange to you. Provost: I know them both. DUKE VINCENTIO: The contents of this is the return of the duke: you shall anon over-read it at your pleasure; where you shall find, within these two days he will be here. This is a thing that Angelo knows not; for he this very day receives letters of strange tenor; perchance of the duke's death; perchance entering into some monastery; but, by chance, nothing of what is writ. Look, the unfolding star calls up the shepherd. Put not yourself into amazement how these things should be: all difficulties are but easy when they are known. Call your executioner, and off with Barnardine's head: I will give him a present shrift and advise him for a better place. Yet you are amazed; but this shall absolutely resolve you. Come away; it is almost clear dawn. POMPEY: I am as well acquainted here as I was in our house of profession: one would think it were Mistress Overdone's own house, for here be many of her old customers. First, here's young Master Rash; he's in for a commodity of brown paper and old ginger, ninescore and seventeen pounds; of which he made five marks, ready money: marry, then ginger was not much in request, for the old women were all dead. Then is there here one Master Caper, at the suit of Master Three-pile the mercer, for some four suits of peach-coloured satin, which now peaches him a beggar. Then have we here young Dizy, and young Master Deep-vow, and Master Copperspur, and Master Starve-lackey the rapier and dagger man, and young Drop-heir that killed lusty Pudding, and Master Forthlight the tilter, and brave Master Shooty the great traveller, and wild Half-can that stabbed Pots, and, I think, forty more; all great doers in our trade, and are now 'for the Lord's sake.' ABHORSON: Sirrah, bring Barnardine hither. POMPEY: Master Barnardine! you must rise and be hanged. Master Barnardine! ABHORSON: What, ho, Barnardine! BARNARDINE: POMPEY: Your friends, sir; the hangman. You must be so good, sir, to rise and be put to death. BARNARDINE: ABHORSON: Tell him he must awake, and that quickly too. POMPEY: Pray, Master Barnardine, awake till you are executed, and sleep afterwards. ABHORSON: Go in to him, and fetch him out. POMPEY: He is coming, sir, he is coming; I hear his straw rustle. ABHORSON: Is the axe upon the block, sirrah? POMPEY: Very ready, sir. BARNARDINE: How now, Abhorson? what's the news with you? ABHORSON: Truly, sir, I would desire you to clap into your prayers; for, look you, the warrant's come. BARNARDINE: You rogue, I have been drinking all night; I am not fitted for 't. POMPEY: O, the better, sir; for he that drinks all night, and is hanged betimes in the morning, may sleep the sounder all the next day. ABHORSON: Look you, sir; here comes your ghostly father: do we jest now, think you? DUKE VINCENTIO: Sir, induced by my charity, and hearing how hastily you are to depart, I am come to advise you, comfort you and pray with you. BARNARDINE: Friar, not I I have been drinking hard all night, and I will have more time to prepare me, or they shall beat out my brains with billets: I will not consent to die this day, that's certain. DUKE VINCENTIO: O, sir, you must: and therefore I beseech you Look forward on the journey you shall go. BARNARDINE: I swear I will not die to-day for any man's persuasion. DUKE VINCENTIO: But hear you. BARNARDINE: Not a word: if you have any thing to say to me, come to my ward; for thence will not I to-day. DUKE VINCENTIO: Unfit to live or die: O gravel heart! After him, fellows; bring him to the block. Provost: Now, sir, how do you find the prisoner? DUKE VINCENTIO: A creature unprepared, unmeet for death; And to transport him in the mind he is Were damnable. Provost: Here in the prison, father, There died this morning of a cruel fever One Ragozine, a most notorious pirate, A man of Claudio's years; his beard and head Just of his colour. What if we do omit This reprobate till he were well inclined; And satisfy the deputy with the visage Of Ragozine, more like to Claudio? DUKE VINCENTIO: O, 'tis an accident that heaven provides! Dispatch it presently; the hour draws on Prefix'd by Angelo: see this be done, And sent according to command; whiles I Persuade this rude wretch willingly to die. Provost: This shall be done, good father, presently. But Barnardine must die this afternoon: And how shall we continue Claudio, To save me from the danger that might come If he were known alive? DUKE VINCENTIO: Let this be done. Put them in secret holds, both Barnardine and Claudio: Ere twice the sun hath made his journal greeting To the under generation, you shall find Your safety manifested. Provost: I am your free dependant. DUKE VINCENTIO: Quick, dispatch, and send the head to Angelo. Now will I write letters to Angelo,-- The provost, he shall bear them, whose contents Shall witness to him I am near at home, And that, by great injunctions, I am bound To enter publicly: him I'll desire To meet me at the consecrated fount A league below the city; and from thence, By cold gradation and well-balanced form, We shall proceed with Angelo. Provost: Here is the head; I'll carry it myself. DUKE VINCENTIO: Convenient is it. Make a swift return; For I would commune with you of such things That want no ear but yours. Provost: I'll make all speed. ISABELLA: DUKE VINCENTIO: The tongue of Isabel. She's come to know If yet her brother's pardon be come hither: But I will keep her ignorant of her good, To make her heavenly comforts of despair, When it is least expected. ISABELLA: Ho, by your leave! DUKE VINCENTIO: Good morning to you, fair and gracious daughter. ISABELLA: The better, given me by so holy a man. Hath yet the deputy sent my brother's pardon? DUKE VINCENTIO: He hath released him, Isabel, from the world: His head is off and sent to Angelo. ISABELLA: Nay, but it is not so. DUKE VINCENTIO: It is no other: show your wisdom, daughter, In your close patience. ISABELLA: O, I will to him and pluck out his eyes! DUKE VINCENTIO: You shall not be admitted to his sight. ISABELLA: Unhappy Claudio! wretched Isabel! Injurious world! most damned Angelo! DUKE VINCENTIO: This nor hurts him nor profits you a jot; Forbear it therefore; give your cause to heaven. Mark what I say, which you shall find By every syllable a faithful verity: The duke comes home to-morrow; nay, dry your eyes; One of our convent, and his confessor, Gives me this instance: already he hath carried Notice to Escalus and Angelo, Who do prepare to meet him at the gates, There to give up their power. If you can, pace your wisdom In that good path that I would wish it go, And you shall have your bosom on this wretch, Grace of the duke, revenges to your heart, And general honour. ISABELLA: I am directed by you. DUKE VINCENTIO: This letter, then, to Friar Peter give; 'Tis that he sent me of the duke's return: Say, by this token, I desire his company At Mariana's house to-night. Her cause and yours I'll perfect him withal, and he shall bring you Before the duke, and to the head of Angelo Accuse him home and home. For my poor self, I am combined by a sacred vow And shall be absent. Wend you with this letter: Command these fretting waters from your eyes With a light heart; trust not my holy order, If I pervert your course. Who's here? LUCIO: Good even. Friar, where's the provost? DUKE VINCENTIO: Not within, sir. LUCIO: O pretty Isabella, I am pale at mine heart to see thine eyes so red: thou must be patient. I am fain to dine and sup with water and bran; I dare not for my head fill my belly; one fruitful meal would set me to 't. But they say the duke will be here to-morrow. By my troth, Isabel, I loved thy brother: if the old fantastical duke of dark corners had been at home, he had lived. DUKE VINCENTIO: Sir, the duke is marvellous little beholding to your reports; but the best is, he lives not in them. LUCIO: Friar, thou knowest not the duke so well as I do: he's a better woodman than thou takest him for. DUKE VINCENTIO: Well, you'll answer this one day. Fare ye well. LUCIO: Nay, tarry; I'll go along with thee I can tell thee pretty tales of the duke. DUKE VINCENTIO: You have told me too many of him already, sir, if they be true; if not true, none were enough. LUCIO: I was once before him for getting a wench with child. DUKE VINCENTIO: Did you such a thing? LUCIO: Yes, marry, did I but I was fain to forswear it; they would else have married me to the rotten medlar. DUKE VINCENTIO: Sir, your company is fairer than honest. Rest you well. LUCIO: By my troth, I'll go with thee to the lane's end: if bawdy talk offend you, we'll have very little of it. Nay, friar, I am a kind of burr; I shall stick. ESCALUS: Every letter he hath writ hath disvouched other. ANGELO: In most uneven and distracted manner. His actions show much like to madness: pray heaven his wisdom be not tainted! And why meet him at the gates, and redeliver our authorities there ESCALUS: I guess not. ANGELO: And why should we proclaim it in an hour before his entering, that if any crave redress of injustice, they should exhibit their petitions in the street? ESCALUS: He shows his reason for that: to have a dispatch of complaints, and to deliver us from devices hereafter, which shall then have no power to stand against us. ANGELO: Well, I beseech you, let it be proclaimed betimes i' the morn; I'll call you at your house: give notice to such men of sort and suit as are to meet him. ESCALUS: I shall, sir. Fare you well. ANGELO: Good night. This deed unshapes me quite, makes me unpregnant And dull to all proceedings. A deflower'd maid! And by an eminent body that enforced The law against it! But that her tender shame Will not proclaim against her maiden loss, How might she tongue me! Yet reason dares her no; For my authority bears of a credent bulk, That no particular scandal once can touch But it confounds the breather. He should have lived, Save that riotous youth, with dangerous sense, Might in the times to come have ta'en revenge, By so receiving a dishonour'd life With ransom of such shame. Would yet he had lived! A lack, when once our grace we have forgot, Nothing goes right: we would, and we would not. DUKE VINCENTIO: These letters at fit time deliver me The provost knows our purpose and our plot. The matter being afoot, keep your instruction, And hold you ever to our special drift; Though sometimes you do blench from this to that, As cause doth minister. Go call at Flavius' house, And tell him where I stay: give the like notice To Valentinus, Rowland, and to Crassus, And bid them bring the trumpets to the gate; But send me Flavius first. FRIAR PETER: It shall be speeded well. DUKE VINCENTIO: I thank thee, Varrius; thou hast made good haste: Come, we will walk. There's other of our friends Will greet us here anon, my gentle Varrius. ISABELLA: To speak so indirectly I am loath: I would say the truth; but to accuse him so, That is your part: yet I am advised to do it; He says, to veil full purpose. MARIANA: Be ruled by him. ISABELLA: Besides, he tells me that, if peradventure He speak against me on the adverse side, I should not think it strange; for 'tis a physic That's bitter to sweet end. MARIANA: I would Friar Peter-- ISABELLA: O, peace! the friar is come. FRIAR PETER: Come, I have found you out a stand most fit, Where you may have such vantage on the duke, He shall not pass you. Twice have the trumpets sounded; The generous and gravest citizens Have hent the gates, and very near upon The duke is entering: therefore, hence, away! DUKE VINCENTIO: My very worthy cousin, fairly met! Our old and faithful friend, we are glad to see you. ANGELO: Happy return be to your royal grace! DUKE VINCENTIO: Many and hearty thankings to you both. We have made inquiry of you; and we hear Such goodness of your justice, that our soul Cannot but yield you forth to public thanks, Forerunning more requital. ANGELO: You make my bonds still greater. DUKE VINCENTIO: O, your desert speaks loud; and I should wrong it, To lock it in the wards of covert bosom, When it deserves, with characters of brass, A forted residence 'gainst the tooth of time And razure of oblivion. Give me your hand, And let the subject see, to make them know That outward courtesies would fain proclaim Favours that keep within. Come, Escalus, You must walk by us on our other hand; And good supporters are you. FRIAR PETER: Now is your time: speak loud and kneel before him. ISABELLA: Justice, O royal duke! Vail your regard Upon a wrong'd, I would fain have said, a maid! O worthy prince, dishonour not your eye By throwing it on any other object Till you have heard me in my true complaint And given me justice, justice, justice, justice! DUKE VINCENTIO: Relate your wrongs; in what? by whom? be brief. Here is Lord Angelo shall give you justice: Reveal yourself to him. ISABELLA: O worthy duke, You bid me seek redemption of the devil: Hear me yourself; for that which I must speak Must either punish me, not being believed, Or wring redress from you. Hear me, O hear me, here! ANGELO: My lord, her wits, I fear me, are not firm: She hath been a suitor to me for her brother Cut off by course of justice,-- ISABELLA: By course of justice! ANGELO: And she will speak most bitterly and strange. ISABELLA: Most strange, but yet most truly, will I speak: That Angelo's forsworn; is it not strange? That Angelo's a murderer; is 't not strange? That Angelo is an adulterous thief, An hypocrite, a virgin-violator; Is it not strange and strange? DUKE VINCENTIO: Nay, it is ten times strange. ISABELLA: It is not truer he is Angelo Than this is all as true as it is strange: Nay, it is ten times true; for truth is truth To the end of reckoning. DUKE VINCENTIO: Away with her! Poor soul, She speaks this in the infirmity of sense. ISABELLA: O prince, I conjure thee, as thou believest There is another comfort than this world, That thou neglect me not, with that opinion That I am touch'd with madness! Make not impossible That which but seems unlike: 'tis not impossible But one, the wicked'st caitiff on the ground, May seem as shy, as grave, as just, as absolute As Angelo; even so may Angelo, In all his dressings, characts, titles, forms, Be an arch-villain; believe it, royal prince: If he be less, he's nothing; but he's more, Had I more name for badness. DUKE VINCENTIO: By mine honesty, If she be mad,--as I believe no other,-- Her madness hath the oddest frame of sense, Such a dependency of thing on thing, As e'er I heard in madness. ISABELLA: O gracious duke, Harp not on that, nor do not banish reason For inequality; but let your reason serve To make the truth appear where it seems hid, And hide the false seems true. DUKE VINCENTIO: Many that are not mad Have, sure, more lack of reason. What would you say? ISABELLA: I am the sister of one Claudio, Condemn'd upon the act of fornication To lose his head; condemn'd by Angelo: I, in probation of a sisterhood, Was sent to by my brother; one Lucio As then the messenger,-- LUCIO: That's I, an't like your grace: I came to her from Claudio, and desired her To try her gracious fortune with Lord Angelo For her poor brother's pardon. ISABELLA: That's he indeed. DUKE VINCENTIO: You were not bid to speak. LUCIO: No, my good lord; Nor wish'd to hold my peace. DUKE VINCENTIO: I wish you now, then; Pray you, take note of it: and when you have A business for yourself, pray heaven you then Be perfect. LUCIO: I warrant your honour. DUKE VINCENTIO: The warrants for yourself; take heed to't. ISABELLA: This gentleman told somewhat of my tale,-- LUCIO: Right. DUKE VINCENTIO: It may be right; but you are i' the wrong To speak before your time. Proceed. ISABELLA: I went To this pernicious caitiff deputy,-- DUKE VINCENTIO: That's somewhat madly spoken. ISABELLA: Pardon it; The phrase is to the matter. DUKE VINCENTIO: Mended again. The matter; proceed. ISABELLA: In brief, to set the needless process by, How I persuaded, how I pray'd, and kneel'd, How he refell'd me, and how I replied,-- For this was of much length,--the vile conclusion I now begin with grief and shame to utter: He would not, but by gift of my chaste body To his concupiscible intemperate lust, Release my brother; and, after much debatement, My sisterly remorse confutes mine honour, And I did yield to him: but the next morn betimes, His purpose surfeiting, he sends a warrant For my poor brother's head. DUKE VINCENTIO: This is most likely! ISABELLA: O, that it were as like as it is true! DUKE VINCENTIO: By heaven, fond wretch, thou knowist not what thou speak'st, Or else thou art suborn'd against his honour In hateful practise. First, his integrity Stands without blemish. Next, it imports no reason That with such vehemency he should pursue Faults proper to himself: if he had so offended, He would have weigh'd thy brother by himself And not have cut him off. Some one hath set you on: Confess the truth, and say by whose advice Thou camest here to complain. ISABELLA: And is this all? Then, O you blessed ministers above, Keep me in patience, and with ripen'd time Unfold the evil which is here wrapt up In countenance! Heaven shield your grace from woe, As I, thus wrong'd, hence unbelieved go! DUKE VINCENTIO: I know you'ld fain be gone. An officer! To prison with her! Shall we thus permit A blasting and a scandalous breath to fall On him so near us? This needs must be a practise. Who knew of Your intent and coming hither? ISABELLA: One that I would were here, Friar Lodowick. DUKE VINCENTIO: A ghostly father, belike. Who knows that Lodowick? LUCIO: My lord, I know him; 'tis a meddling friar; I do not like the man: had he been lay, my lord For certain words he spake against your grace In your retirement, I had swinged him soundly. DUKE VINCENTIO: Words against me? this is a good friar, belike! And to set on this wretched woman here Against our substitute! Let this friar be found. LUCIO: But yesternight, my lord, she and that friar, I saw them at the prison: a saucy friar, A very scurvy fellow. FRIAR PETER: Blessed be your royal grace! I have stood by, my lord, and I have heard Your royal ear abused. First, hath this woman Most wrongfully accused your substitute, Who is as free from touch or soil with her As she from one ungot. DUKE VINCENTIO: We did believe no less. Know you that Friar Lodowick that she speaks of? FRIAR PETER: I know him for a man divine and holy; Not scurvy, nor a temporary meddler, As he's reported by this gentleman; And, on my trust, a man that never yet Did, as he vouches, misreport your grace. LUCIO: My lord, most villanously; believe it. FRIAR PETER: Well, he in time may come to clear himself; But at this instant he is sick my lord, Of a strange fever. Upon his mere request, Being come to knowledge that there was complaint Intended 'gainst Lord Angelo, came I hither, To speak, as from his mouth, what he doth know Is true and false; and what he with his oath And all probation will make up full clear, Whensoever he's convented. First, for this woman. To justify this worthy nobleman, So vulgarly and personally accused, Her shall you hear disproved to her eyes, Till she herself confess it. DUKE VINCENTIO: Good friar, let's hear it. Do you not smile at this, Lord Angelo? O heaven, the vanity of wretched fools! Give us some seats. Come, cousin Angelo; In this I'll be impartial; be you judge Of your own cause. Is this the witness, friar? First, let her show her face, and after speak. MARIANA: Pardon, my lord; I will not show my face Until my husband bid me. DUKE VINCENTIO: What, are you married? MARIANA: No, my lord. DUKE VINCENTIO: Are you a maid? MARIANA: No, my lord. DUKE VINCENTIO: A widow, then? MARIANA: Neither, my lord. DUKE VINCENTIO: Why, you are nothing then: neither maid, widow, nor wife? LUCIO: My lord, she may be a punk; for many of them are neither maid, widow, nor wife. DUKE VINCENTIO: Silence that fellow: I would he had some cause To prattle for himself. LUCIO: Well, my lord. MARIANA: My lord; I do confess I ne'er was married; And I confess besides I am no maid: I have known my husband; yet my husband Knows not that ever he knew me. LUCIO: He was drunk then, my lord: it can be no better. DUKE VINCENTIO: For the benefit of silence, would thou wert so too! LUCIO: Well, my lord. DUKE VINCENTIO: This is no witness for Lord Angelo. MARIANA: Now I come to't my lord She that accuses him of fornication, In self-same manner doth accuse my husband, And charges him my lord, with such a time When I'll depose I had him in mine arms With all the effect of love. ANGELO: Charges she more than me? MARIANA: Not that I know. DUKE VINCENTIO: No? you say your husband. MARIANA: Why, just, my lord, and that is Angelo, Who thinks he knows that he ne'er knew my body, But knows he thinks that he knows Isabel's. ANGELO: This is a strange abuse. Let's see thy face. MARIANA: My husband bids me; now I will unmask. This is that face, thou cruel Angelo, Which once thou sworest was worth the looking on; This is the hand which, with a vow'd contract, Was fast belock'd in thine; this is the body That took away the match from Isabel, And did supply thee at thy garden-house In her imagined person. DUKE VINCENTIO: Know you this woman? LUCIO: Carnally, she says. DUKE VINCENTIO: Sirrah, no more! LUCIO: Enough, my lord. ANGELO: My lord, I must confess I know this woman: And five years since there was some speech of marriage Betwixt myself and her; which was broke off, Partly for that her promised proportions Came short of composition, but in chief For that her reputation was disvalued In levity: since which time of five years I never spake with her, saw her, nor heard from her, Upon my faith and honour. MARIANA: Noble prince, As there comes light from heaven and words from breath, As there is sense in truth and truth in virtue, I am affianced this man's wife as strongly As words could make up vows: and, my good lord, But Tuesday night last gone in's garden-house He knew me as a wife. As this is true, Let me in safety raise me from my knees Or else for ever be confixed here, A marble monument! ANGELO: I did but smile till now: Now, good my lord, give me the scope of justice My patience here is touch'd. I do perceive These poor informal women are no more But instruments of some more mightier member That sets them on: let me have way, my lord, To find this practise out. DUKE VINCENTIO: Ay, with my heart And punish them to your height of pleasure. Thou foolish friar, and thou pernicious woman, Compact with her that's gone, think'st thou thy oaths, Though they would swear down each particular saint, Were testimonies against his worth and credit That's seal'd in approbation? You, Lord Escalus, Sit with my cousin; lend him your kind pains To find out this abuse, whence 'tis derived. There is another friar that set them on; Let him be sent for. FRIAR PETER: Would he were here, my lord! for he indeed Hath set the women on to this complaint: Your provost knows the place where he abides And he may fetch him. DUKE VINCENTIO: Go do it instantly. And you, my noble and well-warranted cousin, Whom it concerns to hear this matter forth, Do with your injuries as seems you best, In any chastisement: I for a while will leave you; But stir not you till you have well determined Upon these slanderers. ESCALUS: My lord, we'll do it throughly. Signior Lucio, did not you say you knew that Friar Lodowick to be a dishonest person? LUCIO: 'Cucullus non facit monachum:' honest in nothing but in his clothes; and one that hath spoke most villanous speeches of the duke. ESCALUS: We shall entreat you to abide here till he come and enforce them against him: we shall find this friar a notable fellow. LUCIO: As any in Vienna, on my word. ESCALUS: Call that same Isabel here once again; I would speak with her. Pray you, my lord, give me leave to question; you shall see how I'll handle her. LUCIO: Not better than he, by her own report. ESCALUS: Say you? LUCIO: Marry, sir, I think, if you handled her privately, she would sooner confess: perchance, publicly, she'll be ashamed. ESCALUS: I will go darkly to work with her. LUCIO: That's the way; for women are light at midnight. ESCALUS: Come on, mistress: here's a gentlewoman denies all that you have said. LUCIO: My lord, here comes the rascal I spoke of; here with the provost. ESCALUS: In very good time: speak not you to him till we call upon you. LUCIO: Mum. ESCALUS: Come, sir: did you set these women on to slander Lord Angelo? they have confessed you did. DUKE VINCENTIO: 'Tis false. ESCALUS: How! know you where you are? DUKE VINCENTIO: Respect to your great place! and let the devil Be sometime honour'd for his burning throne! Where is the duke? 'tis he should hear me speak. ESCALUS: The duke's in us; and we will hear you speak: Look you speak justly. DUKE VINCENTIO: Boldly, at least. But, O, poor souls, Come you to seek the lamb here of the fox? Good night to your redress! Is the duke gone? Then is your cause gone too. The duke's unjust, Thus to retort your manifest appeal, And put your trial in the villain's mouth Which here you come to accuse. LUCIO: This is the rascal; this is he I spoke of. ESCALUS: Why, thou unreverend and unhallow'd friar, Is't not enough thou hast suborn'd these women To accuse this worthy man, but, in foul mouth And in the witness of his proper ear, To call him villain? and then to glance from him To the duke himself, to tax him with injustice? Take him hence; to the rack with him! We'll touse you Joint by joint, but we will know his purpose. What 'unjust'! DUKE VINCENTIO: Be not so hot; the duke Dare no more stretch this finger of mine than he Dare rack his own: his subject am I not, Nor here provincial. My business in this state Made me a looker on here in Vienna, Where I have seen corruption boil and bubble Till it o'er-run the stew; laws for all faults, But faults so countenanced, that the strong statutes Stand like the forfeits in a barber's shop, As much in mock as mark. ESCALUS: Slander to the state! Away with him to prison! ANGELO: What can you vouch against him, Signior Lucio? Is this the man that you did tell us of? LUCIO: 'Tis he, my lord. Come hither, goodman baldpate: do you know me? DUKE VINCENTIO: I remember you, sir, by the sound of your voice: I met you at the prison, in the absence of the duke. LUCIO: O, did you so? And do you remember what you said of the duke? DUKE VINCENTIO: Most notedly, sir. LUCIO: Do you so, sir? And was the duke a fleshmonger, a fool, and a coward, as you then reported him to be? DUKE VINCENTIO: You must, sir, change persons with me, ere you make that my report: you, indeed, spoke so of him; and much more, much worse. LUCIO: O thou damnable fellow! Did not I pluck thee by the nose for thy speeches? DUKE VINCENTIO: I protest I love the duke as I love myself. ANGELO: Hark, how the villain would close now, after his treasonable abuses! ESCALUS: Such a fellow is not to be talked withal. Away with him to prison! Where is the provost? Away with him to prison! lay bolts enough upon him: let him speak no more. Away with those giglots too, and with the other confederate companion! DUKE VINCENTIO: ANGELO: What, resists he? Help him, Lucio. LUCIO: Come, sir; come, sir; come, sir; foh, sir! Why, you bald-pated, lying rascal, you must be hooded, must you? Show your knave's visage, with a pox to you! show your sheep-biting face, and be hanged an hour! Will't not off? DUKE VINCENTIO: Thou art the first knave that e'er madest a duke. First, provost, let me bail these gentle three. Sneak not away, sir; for the friar and you Must have a word anon. Lay hold on him. LUCIO: This may prove worse than hanging. DUKE VINCENTIO: ANGELO: O my dread lord, I should be guiltier than my guiltiness, To think I can be undiscernible, When I perceive your grace, like power divine, Hath look'd upon my passes. Then, good prince, No longer session hold upon my shame, But let my trial be mine own confession: Immediate sentence then and sequent death Is all the grace I beg. DUKE VINCENTIO: Come hither, Mariana. Say, wast thou e'er contracted to this woman? ANGELO: I was, my lord. DUKE VINCENTIO: Go take her hence, and marry her instantly. Do you the office, friar; which consummate, Return him here again. Go with him, provost. ESCALUS: My lord, I am more amazed at his dishonour Than at the strangeness of it. DUKE VINCENTIO: Come hither, Isabel. Your friar is now your prince: as I was then Advertising and holy to your business, Not changing heart with habit, I am still Attorney'd at your service. ISABELLA: O, give me pardon, That I, your vassal, have employ'd and pain'd Your unknown sovereignty! DUKE VINCENTIO: You are pardon'd, Isabel: And now, dear maid, be you as free to us. Your brother's death, I know, sits at your heart; And you may marvel why I obscured myself, Labouring to save his life, and would not rather Make rash remonstrance of my hidden power Than let him so be lost. O most kind maid, It was the swift celerity of his death, Which I did think with slower foot came on, That brain'd my purpose. But, peace be with him! That life is better life, past fearing death, Than that which lives to fear: make it your comfort, So happy is your brother. ISABELLA: I do, my lord. DUKE VINCENTIO: For this new-married man approaching here, Whose salt imagination yet hath wrong'd Your well defended honour, you must pardon For Mariana's sake: but as he adjudged your brother,-- Being criminal, in double violation Of sacred chastity and of promise-breach Thereon dependent, for your brother's life,-- The very mercy of the law cries out Most audible, even from his proper tongue, 'An Angelo for Claudio, death for death!' Haste still pays haste, and leisure answers leisure; Like doth quit like, and MEASURE still FOR MEASURE. Then, Angelo, thy fault's thus manifested; Which, though thou wouldst deny, denies thee vantage. We do condemn thee to the very block Where Claudio stoop'd to death, and with like haste. Away with him! MARIANA: O my most gracious lord, I hope you will not mock me with a husband. DUKE VINCENTIO: It is your husband mock'd you with a husband. Consenting to the safeguard of your honour, I thought your marriage fit; else imputation, For that he knew you, might reproach your life And choke your good to come; for his possessions, Although by confiscation they are ours, We do instate and widow you withal, To buy you a better husband. MARIANA: O my dear lord, I crave no other, nor no better man. DUKE VINCENTIO: Never crave him; we are definitive. MARIANA: Gentle my liege,-- DUKE VINCENTIO: You do but lose your labour. Away with him to death! Now, sir, to you. MARIANA: O my good lord! Sweet Isabel, take my part; Lend me your knees, and all my life to come I'll lend you all my life to do you service. DUKE VINCENTIO: Against all sense you do importune her: Should she kneel down in mercy of this fact, Her brother's ghost his paved bed would break, And take her hence in horror. MARIANA: Isabel, Sweet Isabel, do yet but kneel by me; Hold up your hands, say nothing; I'll speak all. They say, best men are moulded out of faults; And, for the most, become much more the better For being a little bad: so may my husband. O Isabel, will you not lend a knee? DUKE VINCENTIO: He dies for Claudio's death. ISABELLA: Most bounteous sir, Look, if it please you, on this man condemn'd, As if my brother lived: I partly think A due sincerity govern'd his deeds, Till he did look on me: since it is so, Let him not die. My brother had but justice, In that he did the thing for which he died: For Angelo, His act did not o'ertake his bad intent, And must be buried but as an intent That perish'd by the way: thoughts are no subjects; Intents but merely thoughts. MARIANA: Merely, my lord. DUKE VINCENTIO: Your suit's unprofitable; stand up, I say. I have bethought me of another fault. Provost, how came it Claudio was beheaded At an unusual hour? Provost: It was commanded so. DUKE VINCENTIO: Had you a special warrant for the deed? Provost: No, my good lord; it was by private message. DUKE VINCENTIO: For which I do discharge you of your office: Give up your keys. Provost: Pardon me, noble lord: I thought it was a fault, but knew it not; Yet did repent me, after more advice; For testimony whereof, one in the prison, That should by private order else have died, I have reserved alive. DUKE VINCENTIO: What's he? Provost: His name is Barnardine. DUKE VINCENTIO: I would thou hadst done so by Claudio. Go fetch him hither; let me look upon him. ESCALUS: I am sorry, one so learned and so wise As you, Lord Angelo, have still appear'd, Should slip so grossly, both in the heat of blood. And lack of temper'd judgment afterward. ANGELO: I am sorry that such sorrow I procure: And so deep sticks it in my penitent heart That I crave death more willingly than mercy; 'Tis my deserving, and I do entreat it. DUKE VINCENTIO: Which is that Barnardine? Provost: This, my lord. DUKE VINCENTIO: There was a friar told me of this man. Sirrah, thou art said to have a stubborn soul. That apprehends no further than this world, And squarest thy life according. Thou'rt condemn'd: But, for those earthly faults, I quit them all; And pray thee take this mercy to provide For better times to come. Friar, advise him; I leave him to your hand. What muffled fellow's that? Provost: This is another prisoner that I saved. Who should have died when Claudio lost his head; As like almost to Claudio as himself. DUKE VINCENTIO: LUCIO: 'Faith, my lord. I spoke it but according to the trick. If you will hang me for it, you may; but I had rather it would please you I might be whipt. DUKE VINCENTIO: Whipt first, sir, and hanged after. Proclaim it, provost, round about the city. Is any woman wrong'd by this lewd fellow, As I have heard him swear himself there's one Whom he begot with child, let her appear, And he shall marry her: the nuptial finish'd, Let him be whipt and hang'd. LUCIO: I beseech your highness, do not marry me to a whore. Your highness said even now, I made you a duke: good my lord, do not recompense me in making me a cuckold. DUKE VINCENTIO: Upon mine honour, thou shalt marry her. Thy slanders I forgive; and therewithal Remit thy other forfeits. Take him to prison; And see our pleasure herein executed. LUCIO: Marrying a punk, my lord, is pressing to death, whipping, and hanging. DUKE VINCENTIO: Slandering a prince deserves it. She, Claudio, that you wrong'd, look you restore. Joy to you, Mariana! Love her, Angelo: I have confess'd her and I know her virtue. Thanks, good friend Escalus, for thy much goodness: There's more behind that is more gratulate. Thanks, provost, for thy care and secrecy: We shill employ thee in a worthier place. Forgive him, Angelo, that brought you home The head of Ragozine for Claudio's: The offence pardons itself. Dear Isabel, I have a motion much imports your good; Whereto if you'll a willing ear incline, What's mine is yours and what is yours is mine. So, bring us to our palace; where we'll show What's yet behind, that's meet you all should know. SLY: I'll pheeze you, in faith. Hostess: A pair of stocks, you rogue! SLY: Ye are a baggage: the Slys are no rogues; look in the chronicles; we came in with Richard Conqueror. Therefore paucas pallabris; let the world slide: sessa! Hostess: You will not pay for the glasses you have burst? SLY: No, not a denier. Go by, Jeronimy: go to thy cold bed, and warm thee. Hostess: I know my remedy; I must go fetch the third--borough. SLY: Third, or fourth, or fifth borough, I'll answer him by law: I'll not budge an inch, boy: let him come, and kindly. Lord: Huntsman, I charge thee, tender well my hounds: Brach Merriman, the poor cur is emboss'd; And couple Clowder with the deep--mouth'd brach. Saw'st thou not, boy, how Silver made it good At the hedge-corner, in the coldest fault? I would not lose the dog for twenty pound. First Huntsman: Why, Belman is as good as he, my lord; He cried upon it at the merest loss And twice to-day pick'd out the dullest scent: Trust me, I take him for the better dog. Lord: Thou art a fool: if Echo were as fleet, I would esteem him worth a dozen such. But sup them well and look unto them all: To-morrow I intend to hunt again. First Huntsman: I will, my lord. Lord: What's here? one dead, or drunk? See, doth he breathe? Second Huntsman: He breathes, my lord. Were he not warm'd with ale, This were a bed but cold to sleep so soundly. Lord: O monstrous beast! how like a swine he lies! Grim death, how foul and loathsome is thine image! Sirs, I will practise on this drunken man. What think you, if he were convey'd to bed, Wrapp'd in sweet clothes, rings put upon his fingers, A most delicious banquet by his bed, And brave attendants near him when he wakes, Would not the beggar then forget himself? First Huntsman: Believe me, lord, I think he cannot choose. Second Huntsman: It would seem strange unto him when he waked. Lord: Even as a flattering dream or worthless fancy. Then take him up and manage well the jest: Carry him gently to my fairest chamber And hang it round with all my wanton pictures: Balm his foul head in warm distilled waters And burn sweet wood to make the lodging sweet: Procure me music ready when he wakes, To make a dulcet and a heavenly sound; And if he chance to speak, be ready straight And with a low submissive reverence Say 'What is it your honour will command?' Let one attend him with a silver basin Full of rose-water and bestrew'd with flowers, Another bear the ewer, the third a diaper, And say 'Will't please your lordship cool your hands?' Some one be ready with a costly suit And ask him what apparel he will wear; Another tell him of his hounds and horse, And that his lady mourns at his disease: Persuade him that he hath been lunatic; And when he says he is, say that he dreams, For he is nothing but a mighty lord. This do and do it kindly, gentle sirs: It will be pastime passing excellent, If it be husbanded with modesty. First Huntsman: My lord, I warrant you we will play our part, As he shall think by our true diligence He is no less than what we say he is. Lord: Take him up gently and to bed with him; And each one to his office when he wakes. Sirrah, go see what trumpet 'tis that sounds: Belike, some noble gentleman that means, Travelling some journey, to repose him here. How now! who is it? Servant: An't please your honour, players That offer service to your lordship. Lord: Bid them come near. Now, fellows, you are welcome. Players: We thank your honour. Lord: Do you intend to stay with me tonight? A Player: So please your lordship to accept our duty. Lord: With all my heart. This fellow I remember, Since once he play'd a farmer's eldest son: 'Twas where you woo'd the gentlewoman so well: I have forgot your name; but, sure, that part Was aptly fitted and naturally perform'd. A Player: I think 'twas Soto that your honour means. Lord: 'Tis very true: thou didst it excellent. Well, you are come to me in a happy time; The rather for I have some sport in hand Wherein your cunning can assist me much. There is a lord will hear you play to-night: But I am doubtful of your modesties; Lest over-eyeing of his odd behavior,-- For yet his honour never heard a play-- You break into some merry passion And so offend him; for I tell you, sirs, If you should smile he grows impatient. A Player: Fear not, my lord: we can contain ourselves, Were he the veriest antic in the world. Lord: Go, sirrah, take them to the buttery, And give them friendly welcome every one: Let them want nothing that my house affords. Sirrah, go you to Barthol'mew my page, And see him dress'd in all suits like a lady: That done, conduct him to the drunkard's chamber; And call him 'madam,' do him obeisance. Tell him from me, as he will win my love, He bear himself with honourable action, Such as he hath observed in noble ladies Unto their lords, by them accomplished: Such duty to the drunkard let him do With soft low tongue and lowly courtesy, And say 'What is't your honour will command, Wherein your lady and your humble wife May show her duty and make known her love?' And then with kind embracements, tempting kisses, And with declining head into his bosom, Bid him shed tears, as being overjoy'd To see her noble lord restored to health, Who for this seven years hath esteem'd him No better than a poor and loathsome beggar: And if the boy have not a woman's gift To rain a shower of commanded tears, An onion will do well for such a shift, Which in a napkin being close convey'd Shall in despite enforce a watery eye. See this dispatch'd with all the haste thou canst: Anon I'll give thee more instructions. I know the boy will well usurp the grace, Voice, gait and action of a gentlewoman: I long to hear him call the drunkard husband, And how my men will stay themselves from laughter When they do homage to this simple peasant. I'll in to counsel them; haply my presence May well abate the over-merry spleen Which otherwise would grow into extremes. SLY: For God's sake, a pot of small ale. First Servant: Will't please your lordship drink a cup of sack? Second Servant: Will't please your honour taste of these conserves? Third Servant: What raiment will your honour wear to-day? SLY: I am Christophero Sly; call not me 'honour' nor 'lordship:' I ne'er drank sack in my life; and if you give me any conserves, give me conserves of beef: ne'er ask me what raiment I'll wear; for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet; nay, sometimes more feet than shoes, or such shoes as my toes look through the over-leather. Lord: Heaven cease this idle humour in your honour! O, that a mighty man of such descent, Of such possessions and so high esteem, Should be infused with so foul a spirit! SLY: What, would you make me mad? Am not I Christopher Sly, old Sly's son of Burtonheath, by birth a pedlar, by education a cardmaker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of Wincot, if she know me not: if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me up for the lyingest knave in Christendom. What! I am not bestraught: here's-- Third Servant: O, this it is that makes your lady mourn! Second Servant: O, this is it that makes your servants droop! Lord: Hence comes it that your kindred shuns your house, As beaten hence by your strange lunacy. O noble lord, bethink thee of thy birth, Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment And banish hence these abject lowly dreams. Look how thy servants do attend on thee, Each in his office ready at thy beck. Wilt thou have music? hark! Apollo plays, And twenty caged nightingales do sing: Or wilt thou sleep? we'll have thee to a couch Softer and sweeter than the lustful bed On purpose trimm'd up for Semiramis. Say thou wilt walk; we will bestrew the ground: Or wilt thou ride? thy horses shall be trapp'd, Their harness studded all with gold and pearl. Dost thou love hawking? thou hast hawks will soar Above the morning lark or wilt thou hunt? Thy hounds shall make the welkin answer them And fetch shrill echoes from the hollow earth. First Servant: Say thou wilt course; thy greyhounds are as swift As breathed stags, ay, fleeter than the roe. Second Servant: Dost thou love pictures? we will fetch thee straight Adonis painted by a running brook, And Cytherea all in sedges hid, Which seem to move and wanton with her breath, Even as the waving sedges play with wind. Lord: We'll show thee Io as she was a maid, And how she was beguiled and surprised, As lively painted as the deed was done. Third Servant: Or Daphne roaming through a thorny wood, Scratching her legs that one shall swear she bleeds, And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep, So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn. Lord: Thou art a lord, and nothing but a lord: Thou hast a lady far more beautiful Than any woman in this waning age. First Servant: And till the tears that she hath shed for thee Like envious floods o'er-run her lovely face, She was the fairest creature in the world; And yet she is inferior to none. SLY: Am I a lord? and have I such a lady? Or do I dream? or have I dream'd till now? I do not sleep: I see, I hear, I speak; I smell sweet savours and I feel soft things: Upon my life, I am a lord indeed And not a tinker nor Christophero Sly. Well, bring our lady hither to our sight; And once again, a pot o' the smallest ale. Second Servant: Will't please your mightiness to wash your hands? O, how we joy to see your wit restored! O, that once more you knew but what you are! These fifteen years you have been in a dream; Or when you waked, so waked as if you slept. SLY: These fifteen years! by my fay, a goodly nap. But did I never speak of all that time? First Servant: O, yes, my lord, but very idle words: For though you lay here in this goodly chamber, Yet would you say ye were beaten out of door; And rail upon the hostess of the house; And say you would present her at the leet, Because she brought stone jugs and no seal'd quarts: Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket. SLY: Ay, the woman's maid of the house. Third Servant: Why, sir, you know no house nor no such maid, Nor no such men as you have reckon'd up, As Stephen Sly and did John Naps of Greece And Peter Turph and Henry Pimpernell And twenty more such names and men as these Which never were nor no man ever saw. SLY: Now Lord be thanked for my good amends! ALL: Amen. SLY: I thank thee: thou shalt not lose by it. Page: How fares my noble lord? SLY: Marry, I fare well for here is cheer enough. Where is my wife? Page: Here, noble lord: what is thy will with her? SLY: Are you my wife and will not call me husband? My men should call me 'lord:' I am your goodman. Page: My husband and my lord, my lord and husband; I am your wife in all obedience. SLY: I know it well. What must I call her? Lord: Madam. SLY: Al'ce madam, or Joan madam? Lord: 'Madam,' and nothing else: so lords call ladies. SLY: Madam wife, they say that I have dream'd And slept above some fifteen year or more. Page: Ay, and the time seems thirty unto me, Being all this time abandon'd from your bed. SLY: 'Tis much. Servants, leave me and her alone. Madam, undress you and come now to bed. Page: Thrice noble lord, let me entreat of you To pardon me yet for a night or two, Or, if not so, until the sun be set: For your physicians have expressly charged, In peril to incur your former malady, That I should yet absent me from your bed: I hope this reason stands for my excuse. |