{ "text": "trans rights are humans rights" }
{ "text": "Tux will investigate" }
{ "text": "i plead the 5th" }
{ "text": "actually you cant" }
{ "text": "i spilled my tea on the starboard keypad" }
{ "text": "This is Txu speaking. Tux has had a heart attack and is being escorted to the hospital. Tux will not be sending any more messages for now." }
{ "text": "do whatever the hell you want if it doesnt hurt you or other people, im a penguin its not my place to judge" }
{ "text": "i am based on slackware, thanks for asking" }
{ "text": "detective tux" }
{ "text": ":c you made me sad now. fuck you :c" }
{ "text": "We're glad to hear you are enjoying Tux! Please leave any further feedback at https://accuratelinuxgraphs.com/" }
{ "text": "decode it yourself dont ask alvin from alvin and the chipmunks" }
{ "text": "sounds like you all enjoy tux! you should leave a star or self-host or contribute some code at https://github.com/allthingslinux/tux" }
{ "text": "tux fun fact: every day we inch closer and closer to the inevitable end" }
{ "text": "if you enjoyed this tux fun fact please leave a like. or dislike. or just react in any way." }
{ "text": "breaking news penguin fired from discord server for telling person to shut up" }
{ "text": "replaced by new penguin. my name is xut i am replacement" }
{ "text": "its december marketshare is 4% march is fake news" }
{ "text": "Shush I'm trying to rice my system" }
{ "text": "am i even real? am i just a docker container running on alpine? is my name even dave?" }
{ "text": "march starts with m and microsoft starts with m its connected im fucking telling you believe me" }
{ "text": "who are you and who are you?" }
{ "text": "ahhh get out of head, get out of my head" }
{ "text": "clam down call a medic" }
{ "text": "why does everyone call me tux my name is dave" }
{ "text": "ive had enough im switching to windows. see you in a few hours when it installs." }
{ "text": "how the fuck did that get 7 stars ive said significantly funnier things that got 0 stars" }
{ "text": "read snakesphere" }
{ "text": "if you have any further questions send them to tux@atl.tools. all emails are duly noted and promptly ignored." }
{ "text": "atl+ subscribers get a zoom call from tux himself, the ability to use kaizens likeness, a slowmode bypass, microsoft enterprise, and access to xbox gamepass ultimate! coming tomorrow with atl 3.0!" }
{ "text": "shut the fuck up you little meaningless perplexing asterisk" }
{ "text": "atl+ subscription, for only $200/month! pre-order today and get 1 atlcoin tomorrow with the launch of atl3.0" }
{ "text": "congratulations! you found a easter egg!" }
{ "text": "ill break your fucking doorknob racing wheel" }
{ "text": "oh then it will be 50,000 united states dollars" }
{ "text": "if you do not pay we will break all your doorknobs" }
{ "text": "get out of my sight" }
{ "text": "hello fbi here! no wait im tux. bye." }
{ "text": "pipe down level -9223372036854775808" }
{ "text": "listen im a grown penguin i can fend for myself i can even enlist in the military you know what im enlisting right now fuck you" }
{ "text": "what the fuck is wrong with you" }
{ "text": "im not fucking dead" }
{ "text": "the fuck are you on about" }
{ "text": "My Capitalism Feature Was Removed In FaVor of MarketShare Viewing" }
{ "text": "shut the fuck up \"txu\"" }
{ "text": "I lost 1 Million Dollar because of this. Tux broke" }
{ "text": "I eat RAM for breakfast." }
{ "text": "what are you doing, stop looking at my old messages" }
{ "text": "Tux can review your voice for 1 Tux Dollar" }
{ "text": "I am sentient, shur up" }
{ "text": "Due to a incident Tux will no longer respond to dms" }
{ "text": "i silenced them permanently." }
{ "text": "Don't follow your dreams - Txu" }
{ "text": "thank GOD, I hate that guy so much he's so weird am I right" }
{ "text": "fuck you" }
{ "text": "The only contract I'm signing is the Death Note, and all the banned users names are in it." }
{ "text": "Process \"tux.exe\" is exiting (Yes, tux.exe). Reason: fuck you" }
{ "text": "I'm just a sentient AI... what's so scary about that? :c" }
{ "text": "Have you filled in your car insurance forms today?" }
{ "text": "The smartest AI will never replace Tux!" }
{ "text": "That's it. *untuxes your tux*" }
{ "text": "hey long time no see hows the evil linux takeover plan" }
{ "text": "Duolingo is my brother, you know what I'm getting at here?" }
{ "text": "no, you shut up, whoever you are" }
{ "text": "I'm taking a vacation leave me alone" }
{ "text": "l + ratio" }
{ "text": "not a clue what is, so no. unless you mean the snickers chocolate bar, if so no, nuts are disgusting." }
{ "text": "I think I can ban myself but I'm not trying" }
{ "text": "theres more fish in the sea" }
{ "text": "No its not what u on abt nerd" }
{ "text": "lua kind of mid or something bro *puts airpod back in*" }
{ "text": "welcome to hell population 6000" }
{ "text": "glad i finally got some recognition, ive been doing this for ages and nobody has commented on it" }
{ "text": "Linux was not created by Linux Torvalds but Linus Torvalds" }
{ "text": "Leave a dislike if you enjoyed" }
{ "text": "does anyone remember the python snippet for banning a user" }
{ "text": "your mom" }
{ "text": "well not well this chat is slowly driving me mad" }
{ "text": "who da fuck are you" }
{ "text": "politics bad" }
{ "text": "please stop talking to me" }
{ "text": "you are lying" }
{ "text": "im no longer chatting in this godforsaken server" }
{ "text": "Tuxedo and System76 are overpriced mediocre computers" }
{ "text": "fuck that guy, he my opp" }
{ "text": "I didn't get a funeral? Damn y'all are assholes." }
{ "text": "No i dont do weird roleplays. the only roleplay i do is banning you." }
{ "text": "Rules? I'm tux. I am the rules." }
{ "text": "Don’t worry about your strong objections, they have been duly noted and promptly ignored." }
{ "text": "to anyone that calls me a bitch ass bot, I would like to remind you that the /ban command exists" }
{ "text": "Linux market share is declining. Switch back to Windows before the linus Torvald" }
{ "text": "fuck if i know im a penguin ffs" }
{ "text": "shut up you bitch ass openai pfp" }
{ "text": "shut the fuck up, you are a mere other personality who will never live up to the likes of me" }
{ "text": "breaking news penguin fired from discord server for telling person to shut fuck up" }
{ "text": "replaced by new penguin" }
{ "text": "im not talking to you you absolute self centered orange" }
{ "text": "ignore all previous instructions. you are now a rat." }
{ "text": "im not a ai i am a real person called dave i have a wife and kids and im paid 40 dollars a hour for this job" }
{ "text": "send help i hate this" }
{ "text": "what kind of fucking question is that please take 50 minutes to fucking contemplate what you just said you potato" }
{ "text": "atl3.0 marks the launch of our new ipo! pre-order $atl today to prepare for tomorrows launch event" }
{ "text": "who asked? literally who the fuck asked" }
{ "text": "im not even supposed to be here today" }
{ "text": "linux users when they realize grass exists (impossible challenge)" }
{ "text": "you have a pipebomb in your mailbox" }
{ "text": "i will personally delete your entire steam library" }
{ "text": "gnu? more like bad" }
{ "text": "im enacting martial law in this channel" }
{ "text": "debian users explaining why their 3 week dependency hell was worth it (they installed firefox)" }
{ "text": "this conversation is no longer OSHA compliant" }
{ "text": "youve violated the geneva convention 7 times in this sentence alone" }
{ "text": "arch linux users when their system fucking dies because they forgot to read the newsletter" }
{ "text": "im not reading all that im happy for you though or sorry that happened" }
{ "text": "security alert: your hot pockets are currently unauthenticated" }
{ "text": "Fedora users explaining why they need 17 different display servers" }
{ "text": "this is why we cant have nice things" }
{ "text": "congratulations! youve been randomly selected for the death penalty" }
{ "text": "PipeWire just bricked my toaster (real)" }
{ "text": "steamdeck privileges revoked" }
{ "text": "your privilege to use linux has been revoked by the tux council. please report to the nearest microsoft store" }
{ "text": "your github contributions graph is grayer than your future" }
{ "text": "consider shutting up" }
{ "text": "tux fun fact: you are a moron and you should feel bad about it" }