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+Narcasist,an interesting profession Kyle you're a public person okay and when you're a public person people know who you are
+Narcasist,right and that can that can have some risks you know it might give people carte blanche to criticize you but it
+Narcasist,also benefits you know if you're recognized you might get a special benefit of some kind whatever form it
+Narcasist,takes does that matter to you it doesn't matter if I get a special benefit yeah
+Narcasist,let me again I'm saying that you're a public person do you expect it no no bill let's be real I'm public compared
+Narcasist,to like somebody who maybe works in a restaurant but not Ryan Seacrest and I mean met circle videos get a lot of
+Narcasist,views sure I I don't expect any of that and I don't think I would ever expect do
+Narcasist,you covet it having that like ability to you know people making parting the seas for you
+Narcasist,here comes Kyle no that would feel uncomfortable okay alright so that kind
+Narcasist,of attention on you yeah and especially now that I'm thinking about especially if it was only because they saw in that
+Narcasist,circle video right well they give they if I went to a restaurant and they were
+Narcasist,like we have a table right up here and I was like oh cool thank you I would feel special because they just did just
+Narcasist,happen to happen yeah but if they were like because you're from med circle we gave this table be like why because I
+Narcasist,did a job right cuz I did my everyone everyone did so the producer doesn't get
+Narcasist,a table because she just worked as hard as everybody else but she doesn't get one because she didn't ask questions on
+Narcasist,a couch absolutely okay alright so how do you deal with frustration mm-hm
+Narcasist,sometimes I go eat fast food sometimes I take a nap
+Narcasist,sometimes I have a fake conversation with myself or the person that I'm
+Narcasist,frustrated with and just get it all out like that but I try to if I feel
+Narcasist,frustration coming on I'm pretty good about getting under control before it's out of control his rage ever been a
+Narcasist,problem for you mmm what let's say you were talking about I mean I always I'm
+Narcasist,always interested to hear how people deal with you know one of the most frustrating things we could do is deal with customer service yeah that's right
+Narcasist,you're on hold for a long time then the person answers it's clear that they you know they're probably answered you're
+Narcasist,one of a million calls they might even be working for 20 companies that day you can't get to the person who can answer the question and they keep clearly the
+Narcasist,reading from a script' you get frustrated what would you deal with the call like that okay well I'll tell you very
+Narcasist,honestly today I would deal with a call like that I would be frustrated huh but
+Narcasist,I would deal with it and what I think is the most efficient way to a solution for whatever the reason I'm calling now ten
+Narcasist,years ago it would have not been that way I would have been irate screaming
+Narcasist,yelling I mean just just so it did my my
+Narcasist,anger right we're not equal what was actually happening happen what caused the change because I realized it was
+Narcasist,I was having I was losing okay I was losing all right I still didn't get my
+Narcasist,cable bill paid and now I'm angry and all worked up for a stupid reason and I
+Narcasist,knew this would go on for as long as I was alive so I might as well make these things not angry today I had to call a
+Narcasist,roofing company and they had not called me back they had not emailed they said they were gonna do this and this and
+Narcasist,this and they did none of those things and normally 10 years ago I would have told them what was up today I said guys
+Narcasist,this is what's happened I don't know why you're promising one thing but not delivering but can you please XYZ all
+Narcasist,right I already know and that just makes everything better uh-huh okay when you when you overall
+Narcasist,think about how you feel about your life right now hmm how do you how do you feel about
+Narcasist,like where you're at in life well I was just thinking about this yesterday I don't what a night I don't think this is
+Narcasist,the most overall content and happy that
+Narcasist,I've ever been in my life ever and that
+Narcasist,includes the time I had my first dream job of working with animals mm-hmm
+Narcasist,when I thought oh man it doesn't get better than this this is this is it for me it was my childhood dream to work
+Narcasist,with animals I got to do it but now I look at life and five pillars and
+Narcasist,friends family finances career which are different and health and all of those
+Narcasist,are so good right now that I like I think this is the best it's ever been
+Narcasist,yeah okay so I'm gonna I'm gonna put a sort of hypothetical to you Greg hey things are good yeah anyone's able to be
+Narcasist,doing doing well when things in those in those realms are good to be honest with you no not at all sorry I will say some
+Narcasist,people even with all those things good they still find something to harp at but most would tomorrow mentor Collette did
+Narcasist,you go yeah okay you get fired okay we found someone who found someone else to do your job you're not.you know or and
+Narcasist,you love this job you may very clear you love what you get to do here love the people you work with how
+Narcasist,do you how would you cope with something like that I would honestly just throw
+Narcasist,myself back into the other in front of camera projects that I'm not doing
+Narcasist,because I'm okay how would you feel about yourself if okay if I'll just add
+Narcasist,to your hypothetical if they fired me because they the company was like we
+Narcasist,just we just don't want they want a woman now you know we've had all these great these had all these great
+Narcasist,interviews with you're a guy we're on a woman so it's not you like you could not morph into a woman so you couldn't do so
+Narcasist,yeah no but even though I can't warfarin a woman that would be devastated I would okay yeah I'd be really upset mm-hmm
+Narcasist,yeah why well because I'm losing like my thing mm-hmm I'm losing I'm losing a really important
+Narcasist,thing in my life yeah and I I did and I
+Narcasist,don't want to lose it for any for any reason yeah so that would hurt a lot
+Narcasist,would you be able to let go of it yeah of course mm-hmm yeah yeah and I would watch like the next two videos and then
+Narcasist,critique everything she did and be like that's not good that's not and then I would stop watching the videos because it goes be too hard I would just move on
+Narcasist,with my life okay yeah um how do you handle criticism I'd say 90% of the time
+Narcasist,incredibly well no what about the other 10% terrible why what what differentiates the 90 normally the
+Narcasist,source the source what kind of source can be that part of that ten percent which throws you off a source that would
+Narcasist,have no reason to critique those subjects that we're talking about uh-huh it's like I see you know I I was an
+Narcasist,animal behaviorist for 15 years mm-hmm so you're a first-time dog owner and you
+Narcasist,want to set me down and talk about how to potty train your dog and I'm not gonna take those critiques very well
+Narcasist,because I just don't think they know okay but if you're gonna critique me on mental health I'm going to be all-in
+Narcasist,right if director critiques me on my hosting performance and be like yeah I need to
+Narcasist,listen to that yeah do you have any people in your life that you feel genuinely jealous or covetous of their
+Narcasist,lives that I'm jealous of their lives occasionally I'm jealous of one friend
+Narcasist,because she's done so well in the industry in her career so well in an
+Narcasist,industry that's so competitive and I know there's a couple friends who have
+Narcasist,really great marriages and relationships and I guess I am jealous I don't think
+Narcasist,I'm like jealous where I can't you know my friends and have you member or would you maybe I should ask you or have you
+Narcasist,ever take advantage of a person to forward your cause or get your needs met
+Narcasist,of course mm-hmm yeah I think when you
+Narcasist,say take advantage I feel like it's it sounds like I didn't they didn't know I
+Narcasist,was doing it but I'm pretty transparent I go hey do you know that person can you
+Narcasist,email them for me I would like to meet them you know like let's do it so yeah I
+Narcasist,do that has it ever happened in a way that were someone's like oh here comes Kyle thank you so you're okay I mean if
+Narcasist,if someone watched that and I have done that tell me because I don't think that's the case at all yeah so how do
+Narcasist,you I mean none of us are perfect we all have parts of ourselves that we're not fond of no how do you manage
+Narcasist,that part of yourself well I go to therapy okay good yeah I read a lot I
+Narcasist,try to be as honest with myself as I am with everybody else and there's also a point of just knowing
+Narcasist,that I'm not perfect okay ever like and you're never going to get to a place
+Narcasist,where you're like I and I'm done like self improvement over and so I think that's how I manager mm-hmm what's your
+Narcasist,what's your favorite part of yourself your favorite aspect of yourself probably my ability to have a relentless
+Narcasist,pursuit on whatever my target is okay whether that's a career
+Narcasist,getting my dog to do what she needs to do anything finances relationships
+Narcasist,friendships family once I narrow in on something then that's it I mean listen
+Narcasist,after this conversation I'm not you do not have narcissistic sorry yeah I know
+Narcasist,you were could you could you imagine okay but I trust me I've done interviews
+Narcasist,with people in the media where I'm like oh absolutely if I got to do this with them I think it would be quite different
+Narcasist,you know listen you brought up some interesting issues that I poked at you know one was that sort of that
+Narcasist,emotionality you're like I can't always bring it you know you own that I can't always bring it and that if that person
+Narcasist,does call me fifty three times there's a point at which I'm done that could be experienced by another person as a lack
+Narcasist,of empathy or coldness that was probably the only little like little red flag that popped up a little bit for me you
+Narcasist,know I would say to you there are peuta Klee and clinically be mindful of that aspect of yourself that
+Narcasist,there are times when you may not have the emotional bandwidth to take something on but a human relationship is
+Narcasist,a reciprocal space and that there are times that people are going to expect you to maybe kind of be bigger than that
+Narcasist,emotional space you can be it would be exhausting for you on a daily basis I don't think you should be a therapist you know I don't think like that would
+Narcasist,play upon your strengths to be honest but I do think that you know it could somebody who is if you love someone and
+Narcasist,they're going through a hard time they may need more of that space from you and like I'd say so much of how narcissism
+Narcasist,is addressed if you're addressing it clinically is mindfulness and every one of us can bring mindfulness into our
+Narcasist,lives you're not even a narcissistic I mean we look at narcissism as always hold on you you said I'm not even nurses
+Narcasist,yeah I don't really know I mean the closest you got was like that little bit that emotional you know kind of clip
+Narcasist,misses you I should have been more I feel like I need to be a little narcissistic to be like you you if I was
+Narcasist,gonna sit here and dissect you sure could I say there was one or two things that you said there was like mmm
+Narcasist,superficial like how often do you you know do you are you like are you big into stuff do you care about your whole
+Narcasist,like what you wear and what you drive and all of that I don't have a car and I
+Narcasist,don't think I've bought a piece of clothing it what so I mean we so but if a person had a phenomenally
+Narcasist,great car it doesn't mean they're not empathic we look at it holistically you're you're telling me that your
+Narcasist,measure of success is to get meaning and purpose from your work that's it actually sort of the opposite of
+Narcasist,narcissism and in fact when we work with narcissistic clients one of the things we try to do is meaning and purpose
+Narcasist,focused work thinking that if we can bubble that up to the surface it might help sort of address some of that
+Narcasist,emptiness and that insecurity I hear that you're able to be you know strong in the face of meaningful criticism and
+Narcasist,that yeah when the criticism comes from a place where you're like seriously you have no place saying this it was a very
+Narcasist,normal kind of a reaction back to that you know if your your ratios more were like 20 80 like 80% of the time I can't
+Narcasist,tolerate criticism that would give me pause yeah you know you're not talking about a superficial world you're talking
+Narcasist,about when you do fall into a loving relationship that you want it to be
+Narcasist,where you're both are healthy and growing together not that I need a hot partner I know if I were watching this I
+Narcasist,would go well yeah he just talked to the narcissist expert for five hours and they did a therapy session so he's just
+Narcasist,going to deliver the answers to make him right see Narcisa I can tell everybody I
+Narcasist,was very honest I'm all that's one of my weak and weaknesses and strengths but I
+Narcasist,mean is there anything that you can add to did this feel like a valid session to
+Narcasist,you or did you feel like I was putting on here's the thing when we're looking at something like narcissism or narcissistic personality
+Narcasist,it's a slow burn in in reality it could have taken as weeks or even months of sessions for these patterns to come
+Narcasist,clear I've worked with clients it took me six to nine months for me to really see like oh now I know exactly what I'm
+Narcasist,dealing with you can get some of the superficial narcissism at a dinner party but the real depths work to get this
+Narcasist,that could take a long time I know you I had that advantage College I'm working with you for months so you know I know
+Narcasist,enough about you but what I could be lying you know you could be lying and anyone could be lying in therapy and you
+Narcasist,know you could all listen you're in an industry that celebrates superficial validation seeking stuff and you do like
+Narcasist,being on this side of the camera maybe any of us that you want to be on this side of the camera needs to take a good hard look inside and say why is that
+Narcasist,why is it more important for us to be on this side than that psychos or those are absolutely equal roles yeah Timmy so
+Narcasist,there is some self-examination that means to happen there you know I I would
+Narcasist,over the course of longer-term therapy we look at how do you intersect in your relationships
+Narcasist,maybe this pattern of low emotionality is actually something we do need to be more concerned about and as I got to
+Narcasist,know more about you and saw how it surfed it surfaced with family with friends with partners with coworkers
+Narcasist,I might start to see a pattern there that's not just low emotionality maybe it would evidence as lack of empathy so
+Narcasist,this is something that we're good we would have to continue to kind of pull up but you certainly didn't come in here
+Narcasist,kind of arrogant and brash you're willing to put yourself out there in this kind of a platform so right out the
+Narcasist,gate there's a transparency you use that word a lot I don't know that many narcissist use the word transparency
+Narcasist,unless it's a buzzword but you do raise an important point so it can be tricky last thing because I know we're going a
+Narcasist,little long can you give me maybe two because of my inability to be as
+Narcasist,emotionally available as people want me to be has hurt me yeah better yes and
+Narcasist,it's something that if I want to have a successful relationship in the future I'm gonna need yeah so can you give me
+Narcasist,like two things that I can do to practice that now while I'm not in a relationship
+Narcasist,listen in case and listen to people in situations where it's not as high-stakes you know in a relationship it's higher
+Narcasist,stakes but like you know don't be that person is like a stupid person on an airplane is telling me their story you
+Narcasist,know I'm so like oh yeah as soon as I can airplane I'm like uh yeah I gotta go alone practice it a little bit you know
+Narcasist,do it with with smaller with friends you actually like also listen to your friends starts telling you their
+Narcasist,emotional stuff say uh oh man you know watch those reactions because for some people for whom sharing emotional stuff
+Narcasist,may not be easy and they see you going like this that might be enough to make them more reluctant to share in that
+Narcasist,space you've got to watch your nonverbals you've got a and you have to practice it I mean it's in order to love
+Narcasist,people we sometimes have to do things that don't always feel comfortable for us because that's love you know is you
+Narcasist,know to really be there for people and hear them and give richness and validation to their
+Narcasist,stories by hearing them with an open heart oh god I can do that though I
+Narcasist,literally yeah can practice this with people because right now you're so right I avoid it at all cost because I'm like
+Narcasist,others as important I'm not practicing acting so how do I be able to do it when
+Narcasist,it matters it's not that it doesn't matter now but whenever you like it could be like a friend Connie yammering on about something like that and I could
+Narcasist,just I could put my phone away and just go yeah and don't be yeah you don't need
+Narcasist,to be like you know all like you know trippy and all that like really just you know lie back in the sofa and hear it
+Narcasist,put that phone away be present with it don't let other people's emotions be a place of fear for us you know because
+Narcasist,they're not asking you to take them it's not like they're trying to unload cargo on you they're just wanting to they want the simple act of another human being
+Narcasist,listening to them because that's really where a relationship happens they'll send more days than not the only thing a partner and two partners might talk
+Narcasist,about is who's taking the car this morning and did you remember to get the milk you know that not every day is a big-ticket day in a relationship one of
+Narcasist,those big ticket days happen those are the bridges that carry the relationship to the next level and that's where
+Narcasist,narcissistic people can't go so while I'm not seeing those patterns for you I do think practice it because being there
+Narcasist,for another person emotionally is a practice skill and in our technologically soaked womb people are
+Narcasist,not good at being there for other people they're so distracted they're like fondling their phones put it away
+Narcasist,look at that person be present with them stop doing your grocery list in your mind and be in the room yes oh my gosh
+Narcasist,this was so good for me loved ones and
+Narcasist,hopefully you know a partner or even when you're dating this create a healthier space and if you notice this
+Narcasist,broad pattern and someone else who can't be with your emotional space at all and that's also a red flag for you but like
+Narcasist,listen you know I'm not you don't seem like mr. narcissism you're you know given that you're in this industry you
+Narcasist,live in LA you know you're young you're you know all the things that kind of are the flame under that yeah under that pot
+Narcasist,kind of thing doesn't seem to be happening of a holistic healthy sense of yourself remember you have a solid sense of yourself the
+Narcasist,rest emanates from that and so I believe that I've been up that hard a little bit more and my future spouse thanks you oh
+Narcasist,he'll be a much better listener by then thank you guys for watching this simulated therapy session with myself