start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1662037466 | 1662039770 | t3_x376ab | t5_2to41 | 107 | [deleted]: TIFU by calling the police on my wife
[deleted]
BigSquibowski: Just remember, kids-The police will only make a bad situation worse.
Devittraisedto2: Really depends on the situation
If someone's being murdered, fucking call the police
If you're being physically abused by your significant other, call the goddamn police
If it's a minor disagreement, no need to escalate it to the police
There are times not calling the police will make a bad situation to worse.
BigSquibowski: Domestic violence is a tough one with regards to the cops. How many times have you heard stories about a man being abused but the cops still arrest the guy? Too many. It's a crap shoot and unless my wife was seriously trying to kill me, I'd just remove myself from the situation before ever calling the cops.
Devittraisedto2: It depends on the country I guess, and the circumstantial evidence.
OP was sober, his wife drunk as hell. He called the police and they took action against his wife. There's for sure marks to prove it as well if OP was being choked.
BigSquibowski: Absolutely, and I'll admit after dealing several times with sketchy/crooked cops that I'm a bit biased against them.
| 6 | 17.833333 | |
1662037676 | 1662085025 | t3_x3791x | t5_2to41 | 643 | BluePinky: TIFU by not wearing a life jacket
We went up to spend the day by a relative who has a cabin on a lake. Was a nice day up in the mountains, a bit overcast and breezy, but overall nice. Got there in early afternoon, kids got in the water, and I decided to take a kayak and go across. Not a huge lake, seems much larger once you're actually in it, but no big deal, right? Most life jackets at the dock were child size, didn't want to dig through until I found one, and hey, it's a plastic kayak (the kind you sit inside of), so should be fine. Dumb, I know. So I dig the oar in and shoot across the lake. Took quite a bit longer than I thought it would, but made it just fine, though I worked much harder than I anticipated. Return trip across was slower, but went well. Was kinda worn out at that point, so took a break. Decided to go across again for some dumb reason I can't figure out. About halfway across the wind started picking up and the water getting really choppy. My arms and shoulders were not happy with me and I took a break in the middle, riding the chop. I noticed the front of the kayak starting to point upward, which is weird. I turned around and the back of the kayak was completely underwater. I tried pulling as hard as I could towards the shore, but after about 2 minutes, the entire thing was underwater and I was outside it, holding on to it. The shore looked really far away once I was in the water. Tried swimming for it, but my arms and shoulders were dead weight at that point and I knew I would never make it, especially with the water so choppy. Turned around to the kayak, which had now overturned, and held on. I could not put any weight on it, whenever I tried, it just went under. Yelled as loud as I could, but the adults on the other side were busy with the kids who were making a lot of noise, and nobody heard a thing. After what seems like an hour of yelling (probably 15 minutes in reality), someone heard me from the opposite shore, took out their little outboard, and here I am. It got really scary there for a few minutes.
TL;DR: Didn't wear a life jacket and almost didn't make it. Wear a life jacket, folks.
gowithoutusername: Glad you're okay! That's a mistake you'll never repeat
Avatorn01: Always wear a life jacket (Always! Even in school and while walking down the sidewalk)
And always choose plant-based products over murdered animals :
Advice from the Vegans, South Park.
dev-246: And don’t forget to bring a towel!!!
chakabra23: *Douglas Adams approved*
dev-246: 
| 6 | 107.166667 | |
1662044319 | 1662047393 | t3_x39srq | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by disrespecting my mother on laundry day
[deleted]
Roonil_Wazlib97: Dude, you're in college. Time to do your own laundry.
evilsir: for. real. and OP better not be tryna hand us the old 'she likes to do it for because it gives her something to do' line neither.
InternationalBunch22: His mom just offered to do his laundry. Would you cut the nose to spite the face?
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1662045715 | 1662086646 | t3_x3adpg | t5_2to41 | 730 | Icy-Annual3158: TIFU by leaving my phone on while watching reddit porn
This happened like 15 mins ago and I'm shaking and I want to die. So I was alone in my room on holiday (its shared so my whole family are in it) and I was bored so opened up reddit porn. Unexpectedly, the buzzer goes off so somebody wants to be let in. I scramble to turn my phone off and let them in. I'm wrapped in a fucking towel. My dad walks past my bed and I see he glances at my phone. I didn't turn it off. Its a fucking video of a woman getting ploughed. He pretends to ignore it and starts whistling. We make small talk and he leaves to go back to the beach, leaving my brother in the room (which is why they came back early). I actually want to fucking die, nothing like this has ever happened to me. I wanna wake up from it as if its a dream 😭😭 I'm so embarrassed I'll never live it down. I really hope he doesn't tell anyone, ESPECIALLY my mam because she'll bring it up, I feel so ashamed 😭 I never do shit like this and I was bored. I'm so fucking stupid. How do I forget this ever happened?
I don't know if it makes it worse but I'm 18F so extra embarrassing.
TL:DR Dad seen my phone which I thought I'd switched off while on reddit porn :(
Toadipher: Ahh to be a teenager again.
Icy-Annual3158: 🥺 I'm so embarrassed. I've still got like 5 days left with them too
killedjoy: Don't worry. Your dad's phone is dirtier than yours. Source: I am a Dad.
TheImpossibleBanana: Do you clean them often? Cuz they rust when you leave it dirty for a long time. I usually have a cloth to wipe my eye glasses and phone when I see them dirty.
killedjoy: There always seems to be toilet paper nearby when I need to clean it. I guess it's one of those problems that solves itself
kotoku: Toilet paper is coarse and causes degradation over time.
killedjoy: 3-ply my friend
kotoku: ...are we still talking about glasses?
killedjoy: We were talking about glasses?
kotoku: I mean, I thought we were and I felt bad for your glasses.
But if we weren't then I feel good for your ass.
killedjoy: Just to be clear, that's 3-ply after a warm bidet
kotoku: Stop!
I can only get so aroused.
| 13 | 56.153846 | |
1662045987 | 1662047492 | t3_x3ahir | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by realizing I made a typo when making my Reddit account. Instead of typing “LilNastii” I accidentally typed “LilNasii” implying that I’m a literal Nazi. I am so sorry, Reddit.
[deleted]
MonstahButtonz: After all this, you're still choosing to stick with a username that is so similar?
Idk man... The world sucks.
[deleted]: I could make a new account and change it. Do you have any suggestions for new names?
MonstahButtonz: Idk, some synonyms for nasty maybe?
LilDreadful?
LilVile
LilNoxious
There's plenty. Or just don't stick with the "Lil" theme at all. That was some early 2000s shit homie. Idky artists keep hanging onto that.
matthebastage: I think their account just got deleted right in front of us as they posted this.
MonstahButtonz: What a shame. Let's hope they don't come back as username "LilN"
matthebastage: Maybe they'll come back as u/LilNii and start harassing old ladies while looking for shrubberies.
| 7 | 1.285714 | |
1662046482 | 1662059398 | t3_x3aoqp | t5_2to41 | 9 | Flatliac: TIFU by not passing my driving exam
So due to covid and graduation doing my drivers license has taken me much longer than most other people. Eventually my driving school also closed down, which meant I needed to find a new one. After doing so and completing the theoretical exam about a year ago I thought things were finally going a little faster. I was wrong. The school was still packed so my driving instructor had little time and there were other fuck ups in between.
Today I finally got to my practical exam. Needless to say I was super nervous, after all I’ve been at this for 2+ years (again thanks covid). And well, as the title says: I failed in record time. I got so nervous that I straight up drove into a street that I wasn’t allowed to drive into which is an immediate fail here.
To make matters worse, here you can only do your practical up to a year after your theoretical and if you don’t you get to repeat the latter. I’m almost there which means i got exactly one more try at this, before I get to repeat a test and pay a bunch of fees.
The worst part about this is that I don’t even like driving.
TL:DR
After 2+ years of driving school I messed up my practical exam and now I kind of only have one try left.
InternationalBunch22: Try to get more comfortable with driving. If your family has a car use that one (if they will let you). Go to a go kart place and get into some crashes so you know it’s not that bad. You gotta calm down when behind the wheel cause you can’t think straight while nervous my friend.
Flatliac: Yeah, I really think I’m just letting this get to me
| 3 | 3 | |
1662049911 | 1662167612 | t3_x3c3dr | t5_2to41 | 10 | shibesanon: TIFU by speaking in my natural accent.
So like, this just happened. I work at a nail salon with a bunch of lovely men and women. Most know at least the basics of English. And Everyone has their own accents, obviously. But as a receptionist it’s easier to talk with a diluted, cheery tone. With as little twang as possible. Just so everyone understands what I’m saying. When I’m saying it.
And while I can code switch pretty well, it’s hard to get back into my ‘worker drone voice’ so to speak.
For you see, my natural accent is this THICCC country bumpkin, twang worse than the dickens, speed is key, southern accent.
Well you see, these two southern belles stepped in today and we got to talking and by god, I fell back into my accent. And it came back with a vengeance.
Ma’am’s, y’all’s, ain’t, shouldn’t’ve’s were falling from my lips with wild abandon. I answered and made calls with my hick tongue on full display.
I didn’t even notice until my poor coworker, who speaks very little English tilted her head and asked me to repeat myself for a third time.
God, I felt so BAD. She’s a total sweetheart. Even when she puts up with my bullshit.
TL;DR I’m a country bumpkin who works in a hightail salon. Hilarity ensued.
RudeSprinkles1240: Well you see, this just wasn't written as if it were true.
shibesanon: What? Me accidentally speaking with my natural accent in a nail bar where people have a hard time understanding English isn’t true? Mate what.
Edit: confused
RudeSprinkles1240: Well, you see it sounds forced and ridiculous.
shibesanon: Name checks out.
RudeSprinkles1240: You really need to find more original things to write.
shibesanon: My life is happily boring, wtf more do you want my dudes?
| 7 | 1.428571 | |
1662045462 | 1662053644 | t3_x3a9xs | t5_2to41 | 16 | Doctorwhoneek: tifu by making a joke about my mates football team
[removed]
Ayowolf: Lol they will get over it like in 5 mins it's not that deep
Doctorwhoneek: Yeah not one mate when wei was watching them play pro clubs he was awful mest up and I bursted out laughing and he had a strop
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1662052238 | 1662109987 | t3_x3d0m2 | t5_2to41 | 12 | lmaooo6483: TIFU Due to My Own Pride (24/F)
So 2 weeks ago I started to look for jobs right after I got my driving licence. I've graduated in March early this year and have been jobless for 5 months. A week after, I received a call from a company to work ASAP ( 1st September) without an interview and guess what my excited brain did, accept the job and move city, paid rent and deposit BUT I only got my official offer letter yesterday and I haven't signed it yet.
Honestly it's a bit complicated because its a contractor company so I'm already confused about who I'm working with, honestly I kinda like the office and the environment and behold my real problem: COMMUTING.
I looked for a room to rent in a rush so I already visited this place once with cousin, the office is like 1.5 km away from my residency and that's where my pride fucked me up, I thought walking back and forth daily was no big deal, but earlier today I felt so tired, I'm probably also very stressed due to new environment and I'm not sure if I should sign the offer letter anymore.
Mom made it clear going home is always an option and my dad, well of course he wants me home, (duh). The only thing holding me back from running back home is the rent and deposit I already paid, I don't have any debt but I paid the deposit with my brother's money so I'm thinking to make the money before I go home somehow if I really ended up not accepting the job anymore.
TLDR; I'm stuck in new city because I thought walking to work is easy.
If anyone have any advice or wake up call for me please 🙏 throw it my way.
WolfDoc: Is the city and the commute safe, and you in normally good health?
If yes, that short walk will be easy to get used to, and will likely even do you good. Just dress for the weather, especially with suitable shoes.
lmaooo6483: The walk to my office is 60% safe due to a construction going on within the route I have to go through. I would say I'm pretty healthy but man, that walk was so tiring.
I do have suitable shoes for walking and that helped a lot today.
ModeStyle: You can get a bike or one of those electric 🛴 scooter to they can range from 200-700 USD. The added benefit of the bike and/ scooter is if you need to buy any food or any essentials some come with a basket.
lmaooo6483: the electric scooter sounds nice tbh, I'm gonna have to wait for my pay and see how things goes. thank you!
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1662052625 | 1662056416 | t3_x3d5zz | t5_2to41 | 52 | manager_access: TIFU by washing my privates with an expensive shampoo
My girlfriend loves her hair and she uses the best and most expensive hair products. I don't even spend in a year for shampoo than she spends for hair products in a month or two.
This evening I came home from work a bit cranky and stressed and we got into a bit of a fight. The reason for the argument is not relavant, but she was being 100% in the wrong. I couldn't reason with her so I just went to have a shower and cool off. Got into the shower and started to soap myself up, saw her expensive shampoo, squeezed a ton of it in my palm and thoroughly washed my hairy ass and balls with it. Petty, I know, but I was still pissed off. Finished washing and dried myself off. We had some dinner and she still was pissed at me for whatever reason.
A few hours passed and it was time for bed. Something happened to her and she was all like "that was such a stupid reason to fight, sorry, for being such a bitch today. Must be my period..." She sometimes gets notoriously bitchy during her period so I was just like "It's okay, let's just go to bed". We go under the blankets and she starts rubbing my dick and balls (I guess to say sorry) and saying "wow, new shower gel? It smells really good".
Then it kicks in. I now fully understand what's next. She takes a whiff of my perfumed balls and almost instantly realizes that I have washed my nether regions with her expensive shampoo. She starts cussing me out, calling me an asshole and I just have to sit there with my semi and take it.
She kicked me out of the bedroom and now I have to sleep on the couch.
And how was your evening?
TL : DR Washed my ass and balls with my girlfriends expensive shampoo, she found out and now I'm the bad guy.
Squigglepig52: Reminds of a story I heard about a guy whose mistress gives him a full body massage with scented oil, that won't wash off.
dude knows his wife will smell it and he'll be toast, so....
His brilliant solution was to stop at a gas station, and hose himself down with gasoline.
murjo06: Well… I guess it worked?
| 3 | 17.333333 | |
1662054406 | 1662149984 | t3_x3dv0v | t5_2to41 | 12,514 | aauthor8: TIFU by getting a job while being underage and lying to my family about it.
Standard – This did not happen today.
Many years ago, I decided I wanted a job to earn my own money. There were, however, two problems, firstly, my dad thought part-time jobs while in school were a distraction. Secondly, I was slightly underage, which made it illegal. Not one to be easily deterred, I set about the task anyway…
I wrote a CV with an older date of birth, printed a few dozen copies, and with the deepest voice I could put on, I went about handing out my CV to shops I thought I could get a job without too much hassle. After a couple of weeks of trying this, I had success. I spoke to the owner of a little bargain-type shop. After literally a ten-minute conversation and confirming that he could only give me shifts on a Saturday or Sunday (perfect for me) he offered me the role. It was a cash-in-hand job and the manager never asked to see any identification.
The next problem to resolve was my dad. I told him that studying at home was too much of a distraction (I thought the irony was funny) and that I would be able to concentrate better in the library. As it so happened there was a large library a short walking distance from my new job. My dad agreed.
The next few months went fairly well! I had more money than I needed, brownie points at home, and honestly, I thought I was a genius. Only my best friend knew of the situation. In hindsight, I am surprised the ‘good times’ lasted as long as they did.
For a bit of context, the UK has something called the Sunday trading act (1994) – which allows shops to open for business between the hours of 10 am to 6 pm. However, almost everything else on a Sunday is either closed or opens later.
So, when exam season came along and my older brother decided he too better get some serious study time in, he thought to follow my example and go to the library. I had left home at 9:30 am, he apparently left home around an hour later.
Here is my fuck up – The library does not open until 1 pm on Sundays.
When I got home my dad and brother were waiting for me. As soon as I entered the living room my dad asked. ‘Where have you been?’
Alarm bells started ringing in my head. The tone was wrong, the way he was sitting was wrong, my brother’s smug face was wrong. This was not the welcome of a loving father; this was a judge questioning the accused. The outcome of this was going to determine if I ever breathed fresh air on a weekend again. I made a split-second assumption; *they know I was not in the library but do they know I was at work? that I have a job?* *I think not.*
‘I was with Dan. At his house.’ I lied.
My dad, I do not think actually heard my response and was already ready to blow into the speech he had prepared. ‘You told me that you go to the library, but your brother tells me that he went to the library and it doesn’t open until 1 pm! So where have you been all of these weeks?!’ My response then registered and his anger somewhat deflated. ‘What do you mean you were with Dan, why were you with him and not at the library?’ he asked.
‘Well, the thing is, I don’t like going to the library on my own, so I first go to Dan’s house and we go together. Sometimes we go for lunch first then to the library, for when it opens. Sometimes we stay at his.’ I was on thin ice.
‘And if we call Dan, he can confirm this?’ my brother asked. Lord, why did you give me siblings?
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and handed it to him. ‘Knock yourself out.’ I knew nothing short of absolute confidence was going to get me out of this. For long seconds my brother and I locked eyes.
My dad broke the moment when he said. ‘So, you do study, just not at the library the whole time?’ The truth is that parents want to believe the best about their kids. It was going to be far easier for him to believe that his son was chilling with his best friend, kind of studying. Rather than believing I was up to God knows what nefarious activities in secret.
‘Yes, exac’ I did not get to complete my sentence. A second truth is that my brother is an annoying bastard. He pressed the dial button and Dan’s phone started ringing. He answered the phone.
‘Dan, hi this is Adam’s brother. I know this is going to be a bit odd, but were you with Adam today?’
It took Dan a while to respond. ‘Yes, I was.’ Dan is a legend.
‘What did you two do?’
‘We went to the library. Need to get some revision in before the exams.’
‘Right, what time did you get there?’
There was silence and then Dan said. ‘10ish I think.’
My head dropped. Dan did his best but fucking library timings was something we had not thought about or ever discussed.
After getting a berating from my dad and sent to my room. My Dad called Dan’s mum. She told him that Dan did go out to meet some friends, including me. But she was confident that he had never ever been revising in a library. She found the very notion quite funny. Dan got into trouble for lying to my dad and brother.
I was grounded for a long time. Which meant I had to quit my job. The only silver lining was that they never discovered I had a job and I still had money to spend over the summer.
Fun side note – I was Dan’s best man last month.
Tl;dr: I got a job while being underage and lying to my family about it. I got caught when my weekly alibi fell apart because I was not good with the details.
Edit. A word
nabrok: As this was many years ago, did you ever tell your Dad where you really were?
Once you're an adult, it can be fun to tell your parents all the stuff you got away with (or rat out your siblings 15 years later).
aauthor8: No, I don't think I ever did. I did recently tell my dad about my second job which he (kind of) knew about but was in fact also illegal for slightly different reasons haha
BroadMortgage6702: >also illegal for slightly different reasons haha
I would read a book about your life, it sounds interesting!
aauthor8: Haha did you read my other posts?
TheFreebooter: Just so you know, you can work part-time from age 13 in the UK. I think whoever said you were underage may have been telling porkies
illmatic2112: Porkies = pork pie = lie??
I_P_L: Can't believe you got the rhyming slang
DolorisRex: Cockney rhyming slang is fucking wild
JustALittleAverage: I'm Swedish and when I went to grade 7-9 our English teacher was a born and raised Londoner.
She was great and later told us that she had just as hard time speaking English as we had since she had to speak "proper".
Hearing her speak the different dialects, cockney included, was a blast.
One of the tasks she'd give us was to say something in cockney and then have us figure out what she ment.
Was a great way to figure out rhymes and synonyms.
Also when we tried it we *never* got it to sound good, there's so much more to it than you think
beesandsids: That's so sweet. I'm a native cockney (for anyone who doesn't know, that does *not* mean you are from London, you have to have been born "within earshot of the Bow bells" which refers to the Church of St Mary le Bow in Cheapside in the east end) although I've not lived there for many years now. My grandmother (who raised me) made sure that we could all speak "properly" but I sorely miss hearing the slang spoken casually. Nowadays I only hear it if someone asks where I'm from and then parrots back a terrible impression. Cockneys are a fun and vibrant lot, and kind to boot.
JustALittleAverage: I remember she talked about west side of London spoke a lot different than the east side or somesuch.
beesandsids: Yes, there is a marked difference. Still sounds like London, but there's a completely different lexicon and mannerism in the east end to the rest of London. It's seen as "lower class" to speak cockney as traditionally the area from which it originates and the people who spoke it were (and probably still are) predominantly poor working class folk.
| 13 | 962.615385 | |
1662046726 | 1662057537 | t3_x3as79 | t5_2to41 | 91 | Typical_Ad_210: TIFU by forgetting I was talking to a human
Technically this happened yesterday, but I was still too traumatised to write about it then.
I have been off work for a few weeks and since the kids and my wife are out all day, I’m at home alone with our pets.
To stave off boredom, I have taken to teaching the spaniel new tricks. It’s actually pretty cool, I’ve taught him high fives, figure of 8 and, best of all, how to nod and shake his head. Naturally I used this to mildly gaslight my children into believing he was actually answering my questions. “Barney, do *you* think E and A should go and brush their teeth?”. And he starts enthusiastically nodding his furry little head up and down, like one of those bobble head car toys being driven over a dirt track. As much as I did enjoy their uncharacteristic obedience when the dog was my parenting wingman, eventually guilt got the better of me and I confessed that he hadn’t actually learned English whilst they were at school. Disappointment ensued.
Anyway, yesterday I was at the dentist because I unfortunately had sustained the most middle-class of injuries and gotten a pumpkin seed from my artisanal multiseeded sour dough loaf lodged between my teeth. Nothing, and I mean *nothing* could shift it, so off to the dentist I went. My wife suggested this was essential, lest I get punched by a stranger for making rude faces, constantly jamming my tongue into the side of my cheek, in my vain attempts to dislodge the seed that had seemingly been gorilla-glued between my molars.
The receptionist said they would schedule a longer appointment, so they could remove the seed and then carry out my routine check-up afterwards.
It actually took quite a bit of wrangling for the dentist himself to dislodge it, but after a few minutes of rooting around in my mouth, I heard “gotcha”, and he triumphantly held tweezers with the offending seed up to my eyeline. He clearly was waiting for me to say “thanks” or maybe “wow that feels better”, something like that. Instead I, forgetting I was not in fact training my dog, said “gooooodd boooyyy” in the most overly-enthusiastic, talking to an animal or small child, sing-songy voice.
Unfortunately in the half a second it took for me to realise what I had done, and why he was looking at me strangely, the nurse shoved a suction device in my mouth, leaving me unable to explain my sudden change in tone from addressing a respected medical professional, to praising a toddler that had managed to make it to the potty before he shit his pants.
So I lay in my own thoughts, the awkwardness of the moment swirling round my brain, punctuated only by the usual dentist-to-nurse coded description of my teeth. Rook to bishop 4. F1 showing on BBC 2. All that sort of stuff.
I lay considering if I should try to explain, or if I should just do what any normal person would do - cut my losses, move to a different dental practise and repress the memory until 3 years later at 4.30am, when it suddenly becomes all I can think about. It was torture,
When they finally removed all the stuff from my mouth, the tension of not being able to explain had become too much for me. So, before I had even been told to rinse, I suddenly blurted out “sorry, I forgot you’re not a spaniel”.
Now keep in mind this was a good 6 or 7 minutes after the “good boy” comment. It wasn’t an immediate explanation to my previous awkwardness, instead it was an entirely separate, brand new ridiculous comment coming from my idiotic mouth.
Both he and the nurse just looked at me, as I pathetically shoved the cup of mouthwash to my mouth before any other crap could leave it.
They busied themselves with tidying up, whilst I tried to slink out the room unnoticed. But he saw me and said “I hope the rest of your sick leave is very restorative”. Which *sounds* like a nice, innocuous comment, until you consider the fact that I had already told him I was off work due to my mental health not being great. Suddenly his nice comment turns into more of a “hope you get the psychiatric help you clearly need, ya whacko”.
Obviously the whole walk home I was kicking myself for being so bloody awkward. Twice.
To really add icing to the shit show cake, later that evening I was telling my wife about it, and she was joking that treating your dentist like a dog could be a new fetish for some people. In walks our 5 year, who seems to be a magnet for inappropriate talk (and who loves language). “What’s a fetish?”. We both just froze and my wife said “shouldn’t you be in bed” (yes, she should have), and carried her upstairs. Thankfully she hasn’t asked again, so hopefully she’s forgotten. Either that or she’s asked her teacher and the social services visit is imminent.
But it is all just another day in the life of my ridiculously awkward social ineptitude, unfortunately. Think I’ll be switching to plain old white bread with no seeds for the foreseeable future.
TL;DR forgot dentist wasn’t a dog, called him a good boy. Explanation made it worse. Shouldn’t talk to humans.
Lakehounds: This made me laugh so hard, I'm sure your dentist is going to keep that one for *years* and it certainly brings me joy
Were you on the gas or was this stone cold sober?
Typical_Ad_210: Oh no no, absolutely no drugs or gases - this was all me, unfortunately!
Lakehounds: Oh nooo! 😂 honestly this is the kind of thing I'd do (read: have done) so i hope the dentist has a good sense of humour and you made his day better lmao
I hope your mental health is doing better these days, despite the embarrassment :)
Typical_Ad_210: Haha, I’m glad I’m not the only one who does this sort of thing regularly. I hope he saw the funny side and later laughed at my ridiculousness. When I was there he seemed to feel mostly pity, ha.
Thank you, it is a fight against my own brain, but hopefully I will get there!
| 5 | 18.2 | |
1662056755 | 1662064137 | t3_x3es9k | t5_2to41 | 24 | Moopa15: TIFU by not checking the government website
This is technically a long fuck up, but the worst of it happened today. So, I got divorced 4 years ago, and since then my mental health has been not doing too good. Having BPD and CPTSD doesn’t help, oh and Crohn’s disease to top it off, so I have not been able to work for years.
I went to therapy, got better, stopped having daily suicidal ideations, but I had to rely on welfare for my medication, and helping me not be homeless. The welfare office was always very difficult to deal with, as I’m an English speaker and most services are in French here.
In August of last year I moved to a new apartment with a roommate to help me survive because surviving on welfare alone is impossible, just finding rent below my monthly amount is an impossible task. My roommate isn’t rich either, and they are a single parent with a kid, but we make do. We go to the food bank whenever we’re allowed and have very little in the way of luxuries, but we survive.
Apparently, I got my account changed at the welfare office so that any communication to me is sent on their website. I thought I’d still get paper mail, since I have been receiving letters from them every month.
Until now. This morning, I check my account to pay rent, and surprise; account is at -16$. I call the welfare office, and this is what they tell me:
Your welfare help has been terminated since you live with (let’s call him Peter) since August 1st 2021, so you are now spouses and cannot receive any help. Peter is our landlord. He doesn’t live here, I’m certainly not dating him, or his spouse. And apparently, I should have known this was coming because they sent me a letter on the welfare website. Which I didn’t know I had to check.
So now I can’t pay rent. My birthday is in 15 days and I have -16$ to celebrate. I can’t even pay for my meds now that I’m not covered by welfare anymore.
This is so crushing… it’s like the universe doesn’t want me to live.
I’ve filled a form to ask for my file to be reviewed, sent a letter explaining that this must be a mistake, but I don’t know if it’s because I’m anglophone in a French province, but agents are never patient or kind with me. I’m not good at understanding legal jargon, or money things, and it feels like they are really doing all they can to fuck me over.
TL;DR – Didn’t check the welfare website, wasn’t aware that my welfare coverage was ending, and now I am on the verge of homelessness and without the ability to buy my meds. Fuck you welfare office.
WilliamMinorsWords: Why don't you get a job?
Kawauso98: Why don't you, uh, realize that circumstances are far more complicated than that and that if people could just will their way into the income they needed, they would?
No one chooses financial hardship.
WilliamMinorsWords: Not saying they do, but BPD is not typically a condition that precludes one from working, and CPTSD is not an officially recognized diagnosis that a disability determination would recognize. But I don't know what country she's in.
Kawauso98: There are plenty of reasons beyond medical for why people can't find work or don't have the money they need to get by, as well.
Capitalism sucks and the economic model of society is horrible to all of us except the very wealthy.
Telling anyone to "get a job" as a solution to any hardship is about as helpful as telling an unhoused person that's the solution to their homelessness, or someone with depression to "think of all of the good things in their life".
Not saying your comment was malicious, but it was plenty ignorant.
WilliamMinorsWords: Not working for four years and being on welfare for that long is a bit much. The welfare benefits in her country seem very generous. It's one thing to rely on benefits for a little while to get by when you need it, but she's been relying on them ever since her divorce, and doesn't seem in any way inclined to help herself.
Someone who is truly unable to take care of themselves, as in someone who is out of touch with reality or is very seriously mentally ill, is a different story. Or working but not making enough to make ends meet.
But I don't have a lot of patience for someone who is really not even trying, but could do something. There are gig jobs and tons of ways you can work online part time. She is capable of working and doing something.
Visit or call a career center or workforce center, they can hook you up and many times can provide you with funding for job training. She might live in a country with free higher education. Take some classes that might improve her job situation. Start a business walking dogs or picking up poo or babysitting or something. There are all kinds of ways to be self employed.
Sitting around being helpless, having done nothing to help yourself is not a way to live your life. You're going to eventually wind up in a situation where something goes wrong and you have no options. Exactly like this.
ShadowscarsDragon: Wow, quite a nice medical degree you got there. I’m just saying, if they did therapy and are followed by medical professionals, it’s not up to you to determine if/when they are ready to go back to work. It just seems very petty of you to assume that person is disabled or not.
Also, I’m a mental health professional, and I am telling you that BPD can be very mild, or completely crippling, it’s a spectrum. You just are ignorant.
WilliamMinorsWords: I do have a PhD and I am an academic actively involved in research. I've also worked with my federal government in workforce development, helping people get jobs.
She is capable of working part time. She said so herself.
Moopa15: I was on disability, but then I was cut off. I would love to work. If I could. My Drs and I agree. That I cannot at this time. But thank you for the advice.
| 9 | 2.666667 | |
1662057421 | 1662060972 | t3_x3f1m0 | t5_2to41 | 9 | ButterflyMountain656: TIFU by going to get a Brazilian Wax
I 20f went to get a brazilian wax for the very first time. I always used to shave down there with a razor but I decided to try out something new this time, especially because everyone swears by it .
The woman I went to was really nice to me, but the thong that she gave me was so so tiny . It was my size but it barely covered my pussy lips .
I had to constantly move the thong back so the whole pussy could stay covered during the appointment.
But while she was waxing me, my pussy lip peaked out of the very small thong while I wasn’t looking and the woman accidentally dropped a bit of hot wax on it. I’m telling you, that was painful as hell !
Honestly I think I will stick to shaving or get labia surgery next time…
Tl;Dr she accidentally dropped hot wax on my inner pussy lip
Equalakitty: Sounds like you went to get a “bikini wax”, typically a “Brazilian” entails ALL the bits, labia, booty hole and all. If you were getting a Brazilian then I would very much expect you to be getting wax on your labia. That would be how we remove the hair from your labia. I’ve been an esthetician for about 4 years now. Yes, it hurts like a mofo, but that’s what happens when you rip hairs out of your genital area.
ButterflyMountain656: But the inner labia isn’t supposed to be shaved 😭 like the inner lips, right?
Equalakitty: No I don’t recommend shaving it, putting a blade up in there is dangerous. But we can wax it with the correct wax or use sugaring paste. I get all those little hairs with the sugar paste most of the time because it’s so gentle on the skin but removes those pesky inner hairs.
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1662060440 | 1662085541 | t3_x3g8gv | t5_2to41 | 201 | FaithlessnessIcy6774: TIFU by giving a guy a chance
Update:
I texted him saying I didn’t want to talk to him anymore and as expected he said some dumb shit. The main thing was that he said he wanted to die happy but since I’m leaving he’s just going to be alone again, this was followed by him saying he could replace me in a minute with any other girl. So I just blocked him. I doubt he’ll do anything else since he has none of my personal info. Thanks for all of the advice!!
So this guy confessed to me almost a year ago while we were in uni. At the time I had a bf so I rejected him. Now that I’m single I decided I would give him another chance, and it is probably the worst decision I’ve made in my entire life.
We have only known each other for three days and he has already guilt tripped me and suicide baited me. He also sent me an image of his ex self harming, again without my consent. He has also admitted to stalking me before he even confessed.
I tried breaking it off today but he further suicide baited me, as well as publicly humiliated me by posting that I didn’t care about him and that I hated him. I really don’t know what to do because I don’t want him to actually kill himself, but at the same time I don’t want to be with him anymore.
TL:DR I gave a guy a chance and he suicide baited me among other things
missannthrope1: I'm kind of disturbed you had sex with in 3 days.
I'm guessing your in the UK, so I don't know the laws. But see if the police can interview and he's threatening suicide.
You need to break off all communication. Don't fall for the "I just want to talk" line.
You can't fix him. You can't save him. He needs help.
anonymousenb: the 3 days thing got me, too. did she bareback that fast or was it him stealthing?
did ANY of the red flags come up before the sex, or all after?
FaithlessnessIcy6774: I didn’t have sex with him. We were doing sexual stuff and he got ready to actually fuck me but he didn’t have a condom 💀
No_Love_1353: “…he tried cumming inside me without my consent…”
FaithlessnessIcy6774: Yea he tried, but he didn’t.
No_Love_1353: Don’t you think that’s a weird way of saying “he tried to have sex without a condom, but I refused”?
I’m not saying the guys not crazy, the the words you typed pretty much said “we got it on, but then he tried to nut”
FaithlessnessIcy6774: Yea I should’ve rephrased it my bad I’ll make an edit
| 8 | 25.125 | |
1662063812 | 1662207077 | t3_x3hkrs | t5_2to41 | 470 | alwaysverymad: tifu by breaking up with my boyfriend for my parents
I had been dating my bf for close to 4 yrs. A bit of background, we were in the same college, both are now working. He was in the college band and used to perform. I am a nerd. I felt like I was his fan. Last year I told my parents about him and my intention on getting married to him. They straight up denied. Few months back my boyfriend and I had an argument and he ODed on his meds. Was taken to the hospital in time because I had called his family. Earlier as well he had similar thoughts but I was able to talk him out of it. At the same time my parents gave me an ultimatum that if I meet him, they would cut me off. After a few months of back and forth I told him since he is unable to give up smoking (cig and other stuff)...we should breakup. I am a non smoker. Now I feel I will regret this for my entire life.
TL;DR - I broke up with my boyfriend when I still loved him, because of my family. I will regret this for the rest of my life
drrevo74: You're a grown ass woman and shouldn't be caving to your parents like that. But that being said, as a grown ass woman you shouldn't need to be worried about being cut off by your parents at this point. However; as a counterpoint to my counterpoint, it sounds like they were probably right about this guy and it's likely in your best interest to find someone else.
I'll take my downvotes now.
Senrabekim: How's she supposed to be a grown ass woman if her parents play her life instead of her. You grow up by making the mistakes and learning from them, not by having your parents manipulate you into a lifetime of regrets and what could have beens.
biggpuph: As soon as I hit 18, I was out the door. I couldn't wait to get out and make a life of my own. I had a very controlling father and couldn't stand to be in that household. I have had a job since I was 14. I now run my own company and have people working for me. Most people out here today just don't know how to take care of themselves. They've had Parents that do everything for them all of their lives. This makes decisions like this a lot harder. In my opinion, if you cannot take care of yourself as you get older, you're probably not nearly mature enough to be in a real relationship. This is why so many people are having children but they don't know how to raise them. In turn, we have a really messed up Society with a bunch of people who don't even work and are super lazy. People who want everything for free. This is what happens if your parents give you everything as you are growing up. I learned all this stuff on my own. I never had anyone show me anything about life and I'm doing amazingly well. It's because I wasn't lazy. I got off of my booty hole and put the work in to make it happen. People shouldn't even have all this depression and these anxiety issues. If you get your rear in gear and start focusing on the things you need to do in order to give yourself and loved ones a better life, you wouldn't have time to worry about all the other stuff. Homeless radar skyrocketing and we have people looking for workers everywhere. Truth is, we just have an extremely lazy society. I guarantee you the other countries are noticing all of this stuff. One day we'll have a whole lot bigger things to worry about as this country starts to crumble. Maybe then people will get up and actually start doing something with their life. Only when they absolutely have to! If the boyfriend was doing what he was supposed to do, he would marry the girl and learn how to take care of her. This is part of what comes with being a real man. I know a lot of people are going to hate this because we don't have many real men out here anymore. I believe a lot of people hide behind mental illness because they don't want to grow up and take care of their own responsibilities. Sometimes it's real, but in most cases people just need to man up or woman up. We didn't have all this stuff in society even 50 years ago. It's because you couldn't get away with such lame excuses. You had to toughen up and handle your business. I'm not old enough to know all of this but I have many great relationships with older people and younger people. I have great relationships with everybody because I learned how to communicate as I became a man. I can have conversations for hours with somebody I just meet on the street. The art of great conversation is to First be a great listener. You start listening to people and you will never run out of things to talk about. I would have to meet these people and the parents to really form an accurate opinion of the situation. There's absolutely no way to know with one side of the story, without finding out the reasons behind it all. It's not a great idea to get advice from a subreddit. I learned a long time ago that I have the ability to think for myself and come up with my own decisions about matters. I've never been a follower. I will leave with this. Do the thing that you know is the right thing to do inside of your heart and you can never go wrong.
FrickenPerson: Wow thats a big wall of text.
So sounds like you worked hard, but also got real lucky. Minimum wage in the US(im assuming thats where you lived because of the way you worded things) is pretty low and is basically not able to pay for a family, or even a single person in some areas. Instead of blaming the poor who are obviously having a bad time, why don't we look into the system of inequality that produces some of the highest concentration of overall wealth into the top tiny percent in all of history? Based on all the data I've seen, its a pretty bad distribution currently. Kind of hard to blame lazy people when it seems like they are playing with a deck loaded against them and against house rules.
And to clarify, I have a good paying job and no debts. I support my self and all that. But just because I worked hard and got lucky, doesn't mean the guy who got burned didn't work hard and also got unlucky.
| 5 | 94 | |
1662066242 | 1662073474 | t3_x3ijx4 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by walking on my brother doing the nasty
[deleted]
DJ_Spark_Shot: I'd say walking on anyone doing the nasty would be a fuck up... unless they're a masochist that's into foot play.
Medical_Mix6379: 🙄
DJ_Spark_Shot: Typo in your title.
Medical_Mix6379: I can't even edit it I'll have to delete and post it again
DJ_Spark_Shot: Or just leave it because it's funny.
Medical_Mix6379: Deleted already
| 7 | 1 | |
1662066082 | 1662072436 | t3_x3ihkd | t5_2to41 | 35 | JustNotTheFace: TIFU by becoming a criminal.
So I wouldn’t consider myself a criminal of any sorts, maybe done some speeding here and there. Nothing worthy of a criminal, until today. I had been up since 5:30am, had a full day in class and had to stop by the grocery store afterwards. Fast forward, I had a bit of a time crunch and went to the self-checkout with my 10 items or what not. When I walked out I got stopped by undercover security doing a random check and they checked my receipt. I had only paid for 9/10… since they had a zero tolerance policy with the self checkout I was pulled in the office and charged with theft of a staggering $1.6 worth of items. (Mind you, it was 1 out 3 of the same item).
So yeah, now I got a criminal record. Time for some spiderweb tattoos on my elbow….
TL;DR: went through self-checkout forgot to pay for 1 out 3 of the same item (10ish items total) and being charged with theft.
EDIT: to make things a little better I was banned from the shopping center for 3 months!
onebadmex66: Nope. First time offender is going to get the benefit of the doubt. It won’t be added to your “record” just like that. Especially with a good lawyer who will get the charges dismissed.
JustNotTheFace: Well they said that they believe it being an accident, but they had to file charges and made me sign that I don’t plea guilty, but it did take place. (Not happen in the US)
onebadmex66: Do you have lawyers in your country? A normal legal system? Then hire a lawyer and fight that charge.
JustNotTheFace: They did say that charges will most likely get dropped, but if I get charged I’ll get a lawyer.
onebadmex66: If you haven’t been charged, and convicted, you aren’t a criminal.
JustNotTheFace: Yet
onebadmex66: Lol. Not a criminal until you are convicted. Unless you live in Russia or some other fascist country, an accusation isn’t the same thing as a conviction.
| 8 | 4.375 | |
1662066370 | 1662104156 | t3_x3iltq | t5_2to41 | 425 | _silent_eyes: TIFU by discovering I have thalassophobia (TW thalassophobia)
I was out on a kayak with a couple of friends at the beach.
We were on vacation in Italy and we went on a litte swim in the water.
I‘ve never had issues with deep water. I jumped in lakes, deep pools etc. no problem.
Today however, I’ve had my brothers swimming goggles on.
I jumped off the kayak and wanted to dive.
As soon as I put my head under water and the bubbles disappeared, I couldn’t see the ground, just my feet dangling above this void.
The water was very clear and blue, so I could see my entire legs, but underneath… nothing!
I was scared for some reason. I don’t have any other phobia, but that was something else. I‘ve felt like I was helpless with a kind of cold feeling running down my back. My throat closed up, I panicked.
I popped my head back out of the water, I felt fine, I grabbed the kayak, took a deep breath and put my head down again.
Same feeling but worse, turns out I‘m pretty scared of deep water. I panick again, climb back into the Kayak and went back to shore.
I wanted to test my theory that it only scares me, when I can see under water so I swam back to the place without kayak or goggles and…. Nothing, I was fine!
That was scary as hell and I never want to go diving into the ocean again… damn
TL;DR I fucked up by jumping into the deep ocean and having a panick attack.
I‘m never diving in an ocean again.
penkster: TBH, this seems sort of normal. It's scary being in super-deep water, particularly when you can see a LONG ways down. Being unsettled isn't the same as having a serious phobia.
Mochimant: Being ‘unsettled’ doesn’t result in panic attacks… phobias, however, do.
_silent_eyes: Yeah. I‘m unsettled when I‘m on top of a rollercoaster. That was just irrational fear of what there could possibly hide in that deep dark void beneath me
| 4 | 106.25 | |
1662069342 | 1662073457 | t3_x3js9d | t5_2to41 | 18 | Medical_Mix6379: TIFU by Walking in on by brother doing the nasty
So this thing didn't happen today actually. It was when i was 12 years old. And i forgot about it until someone recently commented on one of my previous posts here about him and his brother.
So as i said before my brother and i share our bedroom. He said he was going to finish his homeworks and do a little bit of revision for his exams on the desk in our room, so i studied in the salon (living room). I finished studying and i wanted to put my books in my backpack which was in our room. So my hands where full and i didn't try to knock on the door cause it was already opened a little bit (not closed 100%). And the first thing i saw when i went in was my brother's "pp" out and his hand being around it (please don't ask ne about his size again😂). So i looked him in the face said "oops" and he was like "ever heard of knocking on the door". So i closed the door and went back to the salon (living room) with a little bit of shock. And we never actually talked about it till today. I don't think he remembers it but one day I'll make fun of it.
Remember me made me realise that walking in on him and his gf wasn't the first time i saw him bricked up 😂.
TL;DR i walked in to my room without knocking on the door and i saw my brother masturbating.
phukerstone23: Why do people post things that happened on a day that is clearly not today? The sub is Today I Fucked Up. I see it pretty frequently. TIFU this happened last week. TIFU when I was 9 i...
I didn't read the rules, and I'm not trying to be an ass, I just don't get it.
TIFU by asking this question maybe.
Medical_Mix6379: I don't think it's a rule tbh, i've seen ton of people posting about old stuff so i wanted to share something that happened with me.
phukerstone23: Fair enough. Like I said, I didn't mean any insult, just curious about it and finally decided to ask.
Medical_Mix6379: Yeah i didn't feel insulted, good thing I'm one of those rude kids who'd get mad over an opinion
phukerstone23: Hey I dig it, and I'm glad. You just never know, some people are touchy. Especially here.
Medical_Mix6379: They are..
| 7 | 2.571429 | |
1662071389 | 1662072258 | t3_x3klik | t5_2to41 | 33 | SergeantSodomy8: TIFU by overreacting to being called an asshole by my girlfriend
My (21M) girlfriend (20F) was invited to one of her friends party the other day. A couple nights earlier she was jokingly hinting that I should buy the gift myself so she could take it, I laughed it off and didn't think too much of it. Next day she brought it up again, this time more seriously, I told her I really didn't have cash on me at the time, we fought, in the end she yelled "you're just one gaping asshole" and left my place.
She went back to her house, we didn't talk during the rest of the day. The following morning she sent me a text apologizing and that she overreacted and was stressed out that day and that her lashing out on me was a result which is inexcusable of course.
I was already done with her shit at this point so I told her I'm done I'm ending it. She called me crying and begging me to think again but I couldn't take it so I hung up and shut down my phone. Now I don't know what I should do.
TL;DR: I overeacted to being called an asshole by my girlfriend during a fight and broke the relation with her.
Devittraisedto2: Tbf it's your girlfriend that overreacted, not you. There's no justification to be angry at you just because she's stressed.
Heck _she_ got invited to a party and she wanted _you_ to pay for the gift. You're not her personal wallet.
SergeantSodomy8: It's also my fault for putting up with her behavior for so long, this wasn't a first, my wallet was always the key to her problems.
Devittraisedto2: You didn't really fuck up then. You did the right thing.
SergeantSodomy8: It's just the guilt for being the one who broke things first that eats me.
Devittraisedto2: Don't let it bother you
Would you rather be the one to cut it off and stand your ground or have your ex be the one to break it off with you while she berates you further.
I've been there so I understand
| 6 | 5.5 | |
1662070158 | 1662077083 | t3_x3k3ye | t5_2to41 | 10 | Interesting-Debate19: TIFU! Joking about being with a girl who might be potentially lost.
Okay, so I got a text from an unknown number... A woman, asking if I'm with her family member(I'm assuming). I wanted to immediately say it was a wrong number, but my friend told me to go along with it and see how it'll end. She sends a heart as a response. I felt bad so I told her I was joking and it was a wrong number. She didn't believe me at first, so I sent a voice note explaining it and of course my voice would clarify, as she seems to be thinking I'm woman she knows. Just as I send my voice note, I receive a long text explaining that the person she's looking for hasn't been seen since morning and left their phone, so they are worried sick and don't know what to do. She listens to my voice message and immediately says sorry.
I didn't have the stomach to respond or apologize after that. It's been 5 hours and I'm really curious to know if she's been found. I hope she's back with her family.
TLDR: Gave a woman false hope to a potential missing persons case and now I regret it.
laurabun136: When my husband and I moved to where we currently live, our land line number had been previously assigned to someone who obviously didn't like paying his debts. It was a weekly thing where we'd get calls asking for 'David' and it was difficult to convince a few of them that our number no longer included 'David'.
One evening a woman called and since we didn't recognize the number, we didn't answer. The woman began speaking, apologizing for not calling sooner and was so sorry that 'so and so' had died. I picked up the handset and told her that 'David' didn't have this number anymore. She was so upset that she'd disturbed us and I reassured her that it wasn't a problem and gave her *our* condolences. The call was ended on a better note than when it started.
You didn't know what was going on and you're not the first to razz a wrong number.
Lined_the_Street: OMG that happened to me when I first got my number! But I was only a wee sixth grader, what I eventually pieced together years later is the woman before me must have had kind of hospital debts cause at first it was some kind of specialist calling to collect money. And at some point they passed the debt collection to a collection agency and like every few nights I'd get calls where they were demanding payment threatening court action. I didn't tell anyone cause I knew it wasn't for me and eventually they become less frequent. Now I've always had a strange fear of renting randon places lol
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1662072467 | 1662072978 | t3_x3l0vk | t5_2to41 | 24 | Whatswrongwithmejeez: TIFU By buying condoms
[removed]
Rag33asy777: Lol As an adult I promise, no one cares about people buying condoms. I promise. If anything if you feel embarrassed walk like your proud cuz your gonna get laid. That's what I used to do when I felt embarrassed until I realized no one cares.
When young people tell their parents they are planning on having a baby. They are essentially telling there parents they are raw-dogging it and cum getting up in their but no one conceives it to that idea. Sex is more nuanced in our society than we think it is in our head. As we get older it becomes more recognized as natural where as kids are still new to the idea so that is when the embarrassment comes in, not because its embarrassing but because its new.
Due_Impress2301: This. More so, we are happy that you are getting some action as well as being safe about it.
Rag33asy777: Exactly.
| 4 | 6 | |
1662073762 | 1662075316 | t3_x3liyb | t5_2to41 | 19 | patthekitkat: TIFU Getting an Earwig IN my ear
Tifu, but this was earlier this summer.
My kids (11 and 8) were making a Kiwico project. It was a rocket launcher using a little stomp box to generate the thrust. They got a couple rockets stuck in the tree next to my driveway... Of course.
So like an awesome step dad, I got on some slippers and went outside to help them out. I saw them about 6 feet above my head. I should have used a shovel or something looking back it it. But nope, I shook the tree. Like, I shook that dang branch.
Some debris from the tree fell into my ear so I guess I had my head to the side. I see the rockets fall from the tree which was great. But at the same time, I felt all that debris in my ear. As I start heading up the driveway I flex for the kids.
Then, it happens. I felt a weird twitch and loud muffling sound in my right ear. It sounded like it was a q tip gone too deep. I ran into my kitchen where I knew I had some q tips. I just got out of the shower and was about to use them before the kids got me.
My wife comes in, thinking I've gone legit crazy. I try to explain as I'm jabbing the qtip over halfway into my ear. I end up stabbing the thing to death, first I saw the head on the end of the qtip. Then the rest on the 2nd qtip.
I didn't sleep well that night.
TLDR; I got an earwig in my ear, killed it. And my wife ptobabaly still things I'm crazy.
(Love you crystal.)
MakeTheThing: This is literally my nightmare scenario. I HATE earwigs
Devittraisedto2: Don't worry, they're not known to crawl into your ear anyway.
They just have the same chance as any other insect to crawl in your ear.
_fear all insects, not just the earwig._
MakeTheThing: Ah yes, Spiders George. I remember this tale.
| 4 | 4.75 | |
1662081763 | 1662131959 | t3_x3oepp | t5_2to41 | 17 | f3mb0ygarfi3ld: TIFU by making a complaint to Starbucks about a nail in my drink.
The title should be “How I accidentally stole $6.20 from Starbucks” but anyways. This wasn’t as much of a fuck up as it was me embarrassing myself and no one else noticing (yet).
I’ll start off by saying that I am a frequent Starbucks costumer because I’m always hungry after school and need a snack so Starbucks is just what’s the closest. As always, I got an afternoon snack of a medium frappe and a couple scones. I went to my mom’s work afterwards to eat said snack and about halfway through my drink I feel something hard in my mouth.
I usually get the caramel ribbon crunch thing so I’m no stranger to some different textures in my drink but this one felt really off so just before I swallowed it, I pulled it out. What I pulled out was an off-white and kind of hard so I deduced that it might’ve been someone’s nail polish that came off into my drink. I showed my mom and her and her coworker told me that I should call the place and ask for a refund.
I called the location, told them what happened, and agreed that I would go back in about two hours to get a refund or get a new drink . For two hours I sat with a nail in my pocket, thinking nothing of it until I went back to get the refund.
I get there, tell them that I’m the one who called earlier about the thing in my drink (they were super nice about it btw). I pull out the thing and tell her what I think it is, to which she says “Really? How is that possible? Employees aren’t allowed to wear nail polish. “ And this is where I realized I had fucked up. While she’s saying that a lightbulb goes off in my brain and I remember that when I got the drink I banged the straw on the table really hard. Even so, she takes the straw/nail, puts it in a cup for further examination, and gives me my refund of $6.20. Thinking about it now, I’m almost positive it was a piece of a straw that broke off in my drink and I’m pretty sure i just accidentally stole ~$6 from Starbucks. I’m never going back to that location.
TL;DR - I thought I had a nail in my drink and didn’t realize it was probably a piece of a straw until after I had gotten my refund.
Q-Inane: Honestly, steal from Starbucks as much as you can. Fuck that company
f3mb0ygarfi3ld: por qué?? what’d they do??
perpetualgoatnoises: They actively prevent their workers from unionizing
| 4 | 4.25 | |
1662080817 | 1662096208 | t3_x3o2xr | t5_2to41 | 9 | dumbassthrowaway6969: TIFU buy realizing my bf and I are more aligned than any relationship I've ever had
TL;DR: my best friend and I are more in sync with communication and a variety of other things than I've been with anyone I've actually been in a relationship with. Quite possibly the same for her too.
Today, while talking with my best friend about different boundaries and how be both have a difficult time setting them with each other because we are fairly similar in how our minds work, sense of humor, and a number of other things. We can talk about our traumas with each other and rather than feeling like we're burdening someone, it's actually a bit cathartic.
Then there's the fact that we also talk about sex. Our preferences, kinks, her being a sub, me being a dom leaning switch and those convos kind of get away from us. Add to it she does OF and wanting to support my bestfriend in every way I can, I'm subscribed and buy her content. At first, I fought the urge to actually look. Felt that it could make it weird between us. Couple of mutual kinks are exhib and voyeur. I started looking. I already thought she was attractive and that wasn't a secret between us. She's also seen some of the stuff I put up on Snap/Twitter and says she likes what she's seen.
Lately convos have been pretty steamy and while I handle my business, she gets her boyfriend to work hers out. Lucky fucker. No problems between us have come up over the 2 years we've been friends despite both of us being really insecure about social interactions in general.
Then came today.
Redditors, I think I fucked up today. We were having the afore mentioned convo about boundaries and how sometimes, after a especially steamy conversation, one or both of us starts thinking that we let it get too far away from us. We both left that at a mutual understanding that if either ever feels like we are going too far with a convo, we'll let the other know.
Perfect, right? Absolutely. We were on the same page and that was fantastic.
Until my single-celled brain tells my dumbass thumbs to type "Is it weird that we're on the same page more than I've ever been with any gf/bf?".
I hit send, switched apps to check Twitter and didn't think anything of it until she replied. "Yes it is"
I now need directions to the nearest bottomless pit so I can go yet myself into it.
Dark_Jester: Are you a dude? Or a woman? If the latter . . . what? Nothing happened. Unless she knows you're gay. If the former, she has a boyfriend. It is pretty fucking weird that you're subscribed to her OnlyFans.
Randall-Flagg22: yeah OP's like oh yeah we're just such close friends i like to watch her naked etc and I pay for it....
| 3 | 3 | |
1662082356 | 1662082721 | t3_x3omdi | t5_2to41 | 8 | Commercial_Lab_3634: tifu when my straight (m) roommate (m) tasted my semen
[removed]
hgr129: 🤣🤣🤣🤣 there's things to left to be unsaid this is one of them. Let everyone remember the good time
Commercial_Lab_3634: Agreed bro
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1662086405 | 1662090766 | t3_x3q13v | t5_2to41 | 7 | Unlikely-Ad-9002: TIFU by calling my wife a dumb blonde.
My wife and our 4 kids are out at the lake without me because I have to work ( I have used all my holidaysfor this year). She was laid off a little while ago and wanted to spend some time with the kids alone.
We recently bought a pellet grill which my wife is not fully comfortable using as I do the majority of the cooking. I have tried to instruct her to cook simple things on it, however I know now my teachings were not very good or possibly just not in-depth enough. Today she was cooking hot dogs on it and mistakenly put them directly over the flame pot and burnt most of them to a blackened crisp. They looked as though they flew too close to the sun. She said she didn't know that it was poor positioning to do that. I proceeded to be a little smug and tell her that you cook using indirect heat on a pellet grill. I said, "I know you're blonde and all, but really?" I was promptly hung up on and the kids called me back to say how mean I was to mommy. I scoffed a little and was hung up on again.
Yes, I have apologized and admitted my mistake. I feel terrible, but I thought it was common sense. Usually she isn't this sensitive and I can get away with jokes like this. But she was really trying hard and I made fun of her. I really fucked up.
TL:DR - I was mean to my wife by calling her a dumb blonde and my kids called me out on it.
treehouse_of_doom: All of the married men in this sub send their condolences.
Unlikely-Ad-9002: I appreciate that. She's over it pretty much now. It was just a tough moment. She tries really hard and her mother is a terrible cook so she didn't learn the best way.
treehouse_of_doom: I’ve been married to a blonde for 13 years, been together 23 years total. I wake up thankful every day that I wasn’t murdered in my sleep for talking too much. 😂
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1662089554 | 1662091310 | t3_x3r30v | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling for a Sexting scam.. again.. For the second time.
[deleted]
Eraevn: Bud, learn your lesson here, stick to porn. I know there's more of an entertainment with interaction but damn, 2 is too many lol
Leading_Medicine6247: I know I know.. 2 is just too many times. 😅 lesson learned for sure…
GiGaBYTEme90: And there are whole genres made for people like you that are ok for your grandma to see your cock
Leading_Medicine6247: What do you mean
| 5 | 1.8 | |
1662090767 | 1662137354 | t3_x3rhe2 | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU I broke up with my girlfriend (read whole thing plz)
[deleted]
Orphylia: Nah you're for real an asshole here. There's a difference between ragging on friends in a friendly manner and straight up just breaking up with someone for no reason. Calling her annoying and ugly when you already know you're on thin ice because, again, you just randomly broke up with her??
Move on, because there's no way if you *did* get back together that she's going to be able to just forget about all of this, and I also doubt she'd be able to just forget the things you said, even if she knows that you sometimes joke around in such a rude way.
Upper_Key8095: I called her ugly by mistake because of my friends, she even said they made things 10x worse
Randall-Flagg22: i dunno man i've never had my friends confuse me to the point I can't control what's coming out of my mouth - stop blaming your friends - you said it didn't you?
Upper_Key8095: yea but when i have 3 seconds to get an answer out and it’s a one word thing it’s hard to say what i want
| 5 | 1.8 | |
1662091210 | 1662182914 | t3_x3rml2 | t5_2to41 | 17,715 | polp54: TIFU by buying nerf guns
So this just happened and I’m still in shock. So I (24m) just moved in with my girlfriend (22f) into our new apartment. Just for context me and her are incredibly competitive and are always competing with one another. So on to the story
About a week ago I went to Walmart to pick up some things we needed when I had the idea to buy each of us a one shot nerf gun that came with two bullets each, four in total. I gave my girlfriend her gun and two bullets and the battle commenced. Throughout the week we lost/broke three of the four bullets so today when we were at Walmart I decided to buy a 70 pack of bullets. Before bed we started a nerf gun fight. At the end of the fight I went to take a shower and went into the bathroom and got completely undressed. My girlfriend said she needed to come into the bathroom to brush her teeth. I checked her for a nerf gun and saw that both of her hands and they were empty and she wasn’t wearing a shirt so I let her in. She then pulled out a nerf gun from between her butt cheeks and aimed at my lower area. I did a spin dodge to avoid getting hit and she fired. This caused her to shoot a nerf bullet at the tip of my penis from about two feet away. I am still in pain while typing this.
TLDR; I bought my girlfriend a nerf gun and she shot me in the penis
Attican101: Those modern Nerf guns are definitely no joke
Alaeriia: The stuff from Dart Zone's Pro line is even crazier; they are designed to hit 150 feet with a slight angle. The Dart Zone Pro Mk 1.2 apparently registers over 200 ft/s (which is around 60 m/s; insane for a toy) and most of the others are around 130-150 ft/s (40-45 m/s).
MrSonicOSG: The mk 1.2 jams alot sadly, the running theory in the nerf modding scene is that the factory that was doing the plastic injections swapped out the plastics to scalp some money. Plus even those have nothing on some proper modded blasters, you've got some hitting 350+FPS
_nocebo_: The ahh.... Nerf modding scene?
TOYPAJ_Yellow_15: Most are like, spring swap, sealing, ammo conversions, increasing ammo size.
Like, the six(eight?)shot revolver has a conversion to make the ammo holder bit removable and magnetic. Instead of reloading each individual dart you just grab a whole new dart disc.
Most can bring the power really high. Highest I've seen iirc is like 480fps for a total rebuild? Maybe it was 380fps but that's still stronger than the $500 airsoft gun I bought stock.
ColgateSensifoam: Note that a blaster modified to fire above a certain velocity *may* be illegal in certain places
My Airsoft gun hovers right around the mark using a .25g bb (@ ~330 fps); an Elite Dart is 1.0g, so *in the UK* the legal upper limit for velocity is ~165 fps
TOYPAJ_Yellow_15: The UK has hilariously strict airsoft laws though. Sniping in airsoft especially at actual ranges in an outdoor field require 500fps+ using .3g bbs to even reliably hit. You're not going to shoot someone within 300ft with a rifle like that and would be barred for doing so in a few places. Indoor fields are usually limited to 280fps I wanna say? I haven't played in a LONG time in an actual field so it's a bit iffy on numbers but stock AEGs are usually over the legal limit in the UK as well.
Legally where I live it's illegal to buy a certain caliber, but that's typically only used in hunting pellet rifles with 1000+ fps.
When it comes to foam projectiles actually having these laws enforced is unlikely as well. The police are not going to chronograph your nerf gun for slightly exceeding the FPS limits unless you're bragging or being a public nuisance. I'd also be willing to bet you could argue in good faith that a foam blaster won't cause the same harm a bb does, and possibly (at least in America) set a precedent for future laws to make an exception to foam projectiles.
ColgateSensifoam: Bolt-action rifles aren't subject to the same power restrictions as semi/full-auto ones, they're allowed up to 2.5J muzzle energy, ~425 fps with a .3, sites typically set the limit around 500 with a .2
The site I used to play at was outdoor, limit of 330 for semi/auto, 450 single-action, with a maximum ROF of 28 RPS, that rule exists after one of the marshals built a blow-gun that'd hit 50 RPS, and I threatened to add a hopper to a leaf blower
Police here absolutely will chrono your Nerf gun if they have reason to suspect it's been modified, and they'll hit you with a firearms charge if you're over the muzzle energy limit
TOYPAJ_Yellow_15: When police can correctly identify a modded nerf gun that you aren't being a menace with and are not basically screaming "it's modded" I'll eat my shirt. Without painting most modifications look completely stock.
ColgateSensifoam: it's unlikely as a single charge, but if they're already searching your house/car, they'll look for *anything* to charge you with
TOYPAJ_Yellow_15: "hey Jerry find a chrono and check this nerf gun that we have no need to even consider could be modded"
Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?
| 12 | 1,476.25 | |
1662091137 | 1662093502 | t3_x3rlob | t5_2to41 | 8 | paintolwranceksisnd: TIFU by not telling a girl I didn’t finish
I’m a college freshman I download Tinder make a profile, don’t really think much of it, and go to sleep wake up and find I’ve matched with a girl on there, I get excited we talk decide to go hookup later that night at 12am, cool my roommate is already asleep I head to her dorm room. I forgot condoms, I tell her I’m going to head back to get some, she tells me she’s on Birth Control, alright.
Now I think I’m gonna last 5 minutes, 5 turns to 10, 10 to 30 and now we are at 40 to keep her from getting bored I eat, I finger, I tease, I suck just to try to finish, nothing works, I’m about to get bored and just call it but unfortunately she, or I think she did like she squirted, finishes before I do, to make the most of a bad situation I say I finished as well, she asks me how it was.
Before I could reply her roommate knocks on the door, oh well, I scramble for my clothes, and head out she texts on sc later that she enjoyed it but hooking up just isn’t for her, then proceeds to un add me dang okay, that was 3 weeks ago it just clocked to me recently that she’s still on birth control. My bad if you see this
Tl;Dr: I didn’t finish after having sex, and didn’t tell the girl I was hooking up with, and she’s still taking Birth control
Edit I feel like I should have said this: she bought the birth control earlier that day
LaLaLa911: She bought the birth control earlier that day? If she's just barely starting birth control, she can still get pregnant during the first week. Maybe she just had to get a refill?
paintolwranceksisnd: Maybe, but I didn’t finish I just feel bad because she’s still taking it and I didn’t finish
LaLaLa911: The birth control pill is a long-term thing. Women often take it daily for years. It can also be used for hormone control, not just for stopping pregnancy. In short, you not finishing wouldn't affect her taking birth control. Also, whether you finished or not, contraception is still necessary because pre-cum can contain sperm.
| 4 | 2 | |
1662092153 | 1662188351 | t3_x3ry84 | t5_2to41 | 20 | ineedthiscoffee: TIFU bringing “weed” to school
WARNING: this is a long post. Idk how to add the “L” flair to this subreddit :/.
This happened when I was 15 years old. It was the Friday before spring break. So I had recently gotten into smoking weed with my best friend. At the same time I found out that my mom smoked weed through some snooping in her bathroom. I had remembered that I had found pipes in her bathroom years before and put two and two together since I had just assumed it was for tobacco use before I found weed. Also we were so new to smoking weed that we didn’t even know what it was supposed to really smell like or even knew what the purpose of a carb on the bowl was for. So I found her stash and stole some of it to roll into really shitty and loose joint. I smoked half of it that night. I put the other half in a little ziplock bag (the kind that little half grams of weed fit into). I thought it’d be cool for my best friend and I to start our spring break with a joint and smoke it while we walk home from school. So during third period I have TV Production and we’re filming a video in the courtyard. My part was to get into a courtyard trash can. I don’t remember what the purpose was for but I do remember campus advisors walking up to me telling me to come with them. I thought I was in trouble for being in the trash can. Then they tell me that they had smelled weed in the bathroom before 1st period and had on camera that I visited the bathroom during that time. That was all true. I also told them the truth that yes I visited the bathroom and yes I smelled weed there too and that I also heard someone in the stall next mine ruffling through what sounded like a plastic baggie. On the video a known football played walked out of the bathroom after me with his gym bag in hand. I told them I didn’t smoke weed in the bathroom and that maybe it was him instead (I know I was a fuckin snitch in that moment but I was so scared). They told me that they had already searched him and he was clean. So before they showed me that footage they made me empty my pockets and out comes the bag with a half joint. My first words were “am I going to jail?” Almost crying lmao. All in all I got blamed for the smell of weed in the bathroom (obvious also for having an illegal substance on me at school) and I got suspended for 2 “school weeks” (this will be important later) and my mom picks me up. She’s very upset with me and I lie and say that I found it in a ditch near my house. So since it’s the Friday before spring break I’m only technically suspended for two school weeks which means I’m suspended for the next two weeks after spring break concludes. So I’m out of school for three weeks and my mother has also grounded me for those three weeks. On top of that she forces me to work with her on her news paper route during that time for those three weeks. Her route started at 3am and ended around 7am. So for three weeks I woke up at 3am to help my mom roll and deliver news papers for free while also being grounded. All this happened only to find out that the school had the substance sent out for testing and the results came back to say it wasn’t even weed. The “weed” that I stole from my mom turned out to be fucking K2. Synthetic “weed” that causes brain tumors. I was still ordered by my mom to write an apology letter to school but hey, at least she let me see a movie with my best friend once during that time allowing him to sneak me real weed so I could actually get baked instead of getting more brain damage.
TLDR: got caught at school with weed that I stole from my mom that turned out to be disgusting K2, was grounded and suspended for three weeks and forced to work a night shift job with my mom (without pay) the whole time.
P.S. I would be upset if my kid was dumb enough to bring weed to school and get caught but I’m still a bit salty that my mom punished me in that way when she was still smoking damn K2 behind the scenes.
chasetate27: They probably found weed on the football player and let him go
ineedthiscoffee: You mean like they found it on him but didn’t want him to lose his place on the team or damage his future, so they let him go? I can totally see that, except that they could’ve just ended the search there instead of interviewing other students afterwards. UNLESS they just had to keep interviewing students since they already started investigating and were just lucky enough to pin it on me cause I was dumb enough to bring it ti school.
chasetate27: Exactly they needed to blame someone
ineedthiscoffee: True, true. I never actually thought about that until now lmao. Oh well, these days it’s a funny memory to me. I remember seeing a movie with my friend during that time and I gave me real weed that we had paid for before I was suspended. I made a homemade bong and tried smoking it out of my window. Didn’t work out, I didn’t get high, but my room smelled like weed and my mom noticed. She stared into my eyes ti check if they were red, which they weren’t, but I told her it was the smell of my chocolate axe body spray LOL
WolfmenRUS: You're curious and that's natural. I would have an honest conversation and help your mom end the confusion. It's easier than you think you just have to sit down and do it. Theres no way she believed the chocolate body spray line lol.
ineedthiscoffee: I’m 27 now and this happened when I was like 15, so we’ve already talked about it. Back then later in the years we started smoking real weed together but I stopped smoking weed kind of unconsciously since i just didn’t like it anymore. I knew back then she didn’t believe it cause she was looking me straight in the eyes to see if they were red but I didn’t even get high so only the smell was proof anyways lol.
| 7 | 2.857143 | |
1662087928 | 1662167897 | t3_x3qjoi | t5_2to41 | 114 | kitohdzz: TIFU by taking a shower
This actually happened about 2 hours ago, also this is a very short story but I need to remind myself to never do it in the future.
Anyway, a tooth of mine have been hurting for a few days now, I know I have to go to the dentist BUT I'm so scared due to life long trauma lol I just haven't made an appointment, I really rather tough it up than go there, even when the dentist is literally across the street. I know this is very childish of me but I'm seriously scared, now I think I can't afford to wait anymore because the amount of pain I'm in is in another level.
So I was in pain and because I couldn't find any paracetamol I decided to take and aspirin and take a shower. Worst desicion of my life because the hot water made the pain so much worse because hot = inflamation, so much the aspirin did nothing, and by the time I finished I was almost in tears. Lucky for me I actually managed to find the paracetamol and took 2 pills with the hope it would help, but no.
Another thing is when I stress out my face gets really hot, and this convined with the hot shower nothing was working so I've been pretty much in a lot of pain for almost 2 hours when I decided to look for "hot showers and tooth ache" and yep apparently is a very very bad idea, I didn't know what I was thinking.
Good news is I've been applying some ice in my face for the past 5 minutes and it's helping, it still hurts quite a bit but I'm already feeling better. Bad news is later on a found an even better med for my tooth ache (ketorolaco) but since I took and aspirin I can't take it because it's dangerous.
I really made really bad choices one after the other that resulted in me being in terrible pain for hours.
TL;DR: I was suffering from a really bad tooth ache and made the stupid desicion to take a hot shower that caused even more inflamation and pain.
Update: went to the dentist today and I'm on medication and I have an extraction next friday, I'm already feeling better. Thanks everyone!!
R34p3rXm4l1K: Oh the toothache! I once got infection under my tooth, because diabetes and tooth decay go hand in hand, and let me tell you the pain was like eating my face, my entire head. It felt like the heart of the pain was in my tooth, and it was pumping pain across my entire head. And unfortunately, due to diabetes, pain meds take time to take away the pain. And on top of that, I, in my ultimate super Saiyan stupid form, decided to gargle/pull with warm water with a little bit of salt. Needless to say the pain felt like it went from Banner to Hulk in seconds. And this all happened because I was putting off going to the dentist.
kitohdzz: Really? I was going to try this! I'm so glad I didn't wow that sounds awful
SacredSpirit123: I am going to put this lightly.
You might have a serious infection. You definitely have *an* infection, and that’s why it hurts so badly, but, unless you want it to become even worse to the point that it can become life-threatening,
#*please go to the dentist.*
kitohdzz: I know I know and even if I'm scared I don't want it to get worse, I already started taking meds the dentist prescribed and I will (hopefully) see him tomorrow.
Thrawn89: You should. This isn't a tough it out situation, infections in the teeth can be deadly without treatment.
kitohdzz: Yes you're right, I was being foolish I know that now
nanny2359: It's not foolish to be afraid of the dentist - it's 100% normal to be afraid of things that hurt! You just gotta be brave and do the scary thing anyway.
| 8 | 14.25 | |
1662092957 | 1662094567 | t3_x3s7b4 | t5_2to41 | 80 | Huntress-Blood: TIFU by accepting two jobs at the same time
I've been a grocery store cashier for a relatively long time but I'd thought I'd do another job for a change. Needless to say it didn't work out within the first week. I applied to different places and I've received two calls this week from two different grocery stores. Long story short, one store offers me a deli position for a dollar more than I would've earned as cashier. It's farther than I'd like in distance and the second grocery store is a little bit closer. I'd have to walk the same distance more or less to get to either of them using public transportation. The second offer is a cashier position with less pay though I'd be unionized eventually. I have my training with one store at 10am tomorrow morning and I have to sign paperwork with the other store in the afternoon. The pros and cons of each pretty much even each other out. I have 8 hours from this post to make a decision. I f*ucked up big time by leaving my old job. I can't get rehired.
TL;DR
I got hired in two different places because timing sucks. Now I don't know what to decide.
broloelcunado42: I don't know where you live so this may not apply, but don't look at this as a negative. Businesses are desperate for employees right now (at least in metropolitan areas, and the 2 job offers are promising). Ask the job that's closer for a higher wage, and know that you have the other to fall back on.
Huntress-Blood: Thanks. I'm thinking I'll decide on the job with lesser wage just for the sake of convenience. I've done it for long so I won't need a lot of training. Once I get comfortable I might ask for cross training just to see if I like it. That way I won't jump into a position that's really new to me and end up making the same mistake twice.
| 3 | 26.666667 | |
1662093752 | 1662094721 | t3_x3sghj | t5_2to41 | 10 | Silent0wl01: TIFU by throwing a fit of rage because my autistic twin ate some of my chocolates
I have a bag of cheap lindor chocolates that I made a special trip to buy in bulk so that I can put them in my coffee. I didn't directly get mad at him, and told him to not eat anymore of them. However, I went into the house and threw a fit of rage, since I've already been on edge about other more significant things. threw things around and yelled out "I can't fcking have anything around here, no running water, I can't take a shower, I cleaned up around my room to have the pet pig piss on the floor and now I can't even have some chocolate without it getting it eaten. I'm about to put a fcking bullet in my head because I can't take this sh*t anymore."
My brother was right outside the window and repeated "put a bullet in my head" and I felt horrible. Our mother heard him say this after hearing my fit of rage, and understandably she is furious with me, and said that I am really fucked up to say something like that to him, and that hes traumatized, and doesn't want to come inside. She thought I said it TO him, and it sounded like that's what I said, but I said that I would never say that toward him. She said "Why would you say it about yourself then?" And said "since everything is so fcked up here, and that I've been through so much sht with my dad" (he is a sociopathic person who has significantly traumatized the three of us in the past, but is out of the picture now). I would never act on it but I have suicidal ideatations almost everyday because life is so difficult here, and am still healing from the trauma that my dad put me and my brother through, but this is the first time my brother heard me say it so loudly, and the first time my mom heard it at all.
She said that have no business talking about the trauma that my dad put me through because I am just like him, because have everyone at work fooled thinking I'm this great guy, but I come home and I don't help out, and I get very angry so quickly and that do fcked up sht like this, and that I'd be out of here if I could be and wouldn't come back.
I am so overwhelmed by everything but I know that I am in the wrong for how acted tonight and I feel so horrible about it, I can't relax and I want to cry. I never drink but tonight felt that I needed to mix some vodka with coconut water so I can numb myself. I really needed to vent this out because I feel so bad for the horrible things my brother and mother heard me say, because they deserve better.
TL:DR: I threw a destructive fit of rage because my autistic brother ate some of my chocolates, as a result of erupted anger and frustration from more significant issues. My brother and mother both heard me say something about "putting a bullet in the head" and she is furious with me.
Virtura: You would be better off discussing this in therapy. There is a LOT to unpack here that I doubt any response from strangers on reddit will be helpful.
Silent0wl01: This is a very good point that you have brought to my attention. I appreciate your feedback alot.
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1661944460 | 1662095735 | t3_x2avsn | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating a sausage roll
[deleted]
Electrical-Bug-2970: nerd
Electrical-Bug-2970: sorry wrong person
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1662097875 | 1662099441 | t3_x3tnmh | t5_2to41 | 6 | historyhasitsionu: TIFU by mentioning that I wanted to be head boy
This just happened and now I'm waiting for the consequences.
I (16m/nb) am openly trans and am in my second to last year of school (year 12/11th grade). I'm out to my family but my siblings F(f5) and T(m3) do not know yet because mum and my step dad say they're too young to understand.
One of my friends is the current head boy and he encouraged me to try and become the head boy at the end of the year (my school starts in January and ends in November/December) because not a lot of the boys in my year were interested in it. When I got home, I was excited to tell my family about it.
But I made the mistake of mentioning it at dinner. My step dad said that it was cool but I don't know if my siblings heard and are going to ask why I'm trying out for a 'boy spot'.
TL;DR I fucked up by mentioning I wanted to try out for head boy even though I'm not out to my much younger siblings
llamasLoot: What's a "head boy"??
historyhasitsionu: In other words, Prefect. I regret asking but gave you ever read Harry Potter? It's like that. They run student based activities, make sure the school is semi safe and pretty much help things go smoothly. It's kinda like student staff
llamasLoot: Okok
historyhasitsionu: Yeah, it's kinda hard to explain
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1662098294 | 1662133575 | t3_x3trwa | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU - Wife hates me, I swear I’m not a bad person
[deleted]
pogiguy2020: Well when I first started reading this one thing stood out.
Your wife blows up your phone because she is TRACKING you. Is there more to this or is she just a very jealous and controlling person?
Ive been married 26 years and I dont track my wife and she dont track me either.
Why is it that your wife does NOT trust you anymore?
Like I said something is missing here.
Mushroomc0wz: Probably because neither of you cheat on eachother, he’s cheating by going to strip clubs so has given her a reason to. She should just break up with him but clearly loves him and wants to give him a chance and all he has to do is listen and stop deliberately hurting her.
pogiguy2020: I just get this feeling that this is not just something that happened. You know like she was already tracking him so what did he do before this whole strip club thing.
IF he done nothing then why is she tracking him? Either very insecure or something.
This is why I say something is missing.
Also they both need to go to marriage counseling.
linerva: The way he said "I wish I didn't want to to strip clubs and just watch" about strip clubs makes me think this isn't the first time. The post initially makes it out like he only went because his CEO made him, but that comment implies that he likes going and perhaps this is s more regular thing for him.
Obviously it should be something they discussed before marriage and kids happened, especially if it's common in his line of work. And obviously her dad has nothing to do with it.
Either way there is no trust or respect in this relationship, and absolutely shitty communication. They desperately need therapy.
jremsikjr: The Dad modeled the behavior she expects from people who go to strip clubs. He most certainly does matter. Did the dad cheat or otherwise complicate the relationship with that behavior? She does not seem like she trusts OP. However, through the title OP goes from SWEARing he’s not a bad guy to genuinely questioning that fact.
🤷
linerva: I mean, the dad matters.
But it's not my business if my DAD goes to strip clubs- that is between him and her mum, if they are even still together. She can feel neutral about her dad whilst not being happy or not tolerating it in her own relationship. She may feel it is cheating in her own relationship.
I dont care if my friends go to strip clubs or use the services of sex workers. I DO care if my partner does. See the difference?
| 7 | 1.714286 | |
1662099352 | 1662105894 | t3_x3u2ow | t5_2to41 | 6 | Accomplished-Sign647: TIFU by fighting my sister’s bf
I 18f have anger management issues, sociopathic tendencies, psychopathic tendencies, among other issues. I am by all means a well adjusted member of society and overly kind to almost everyone I meet. I’ve had anger management issues since I was 7 and have learned very well how to control them. But sometimes… someone just comes along and I can’t stand them. My sisters 20f boyfriend 23m is one of those people. I usually just avoid interaction with him and it’s all fine. But the other day he brought up a really sensitive topic and would not drop it. He kept going on about how I needed to forgive my abuser and move on with my life. I just saw red and started swinging. Next thing I know he’s on the floor, hurt pretty badly, and everyone in the group is mad at me. My sister is on my side 100% but everyone else is livid. I honestly just feel pretty proud of myself
TLDR: I beat up my sisters boyfriend for bringing up something that was none of his business.
Edit: he didn’t end up going to the hospital or anything.
Cornflakes_91: the boyfriend sounds like a reeeeal smart one.
taunting the gal who he (probably?) knows to have anger issues
he sounds like an asshole as well
Alwaysaprairiegirl: OP is a young woman (18f).
I think that he was beyond stupid and hopefully he’s now the ex bf of her sister. He tried to dictate how her trauma recovery should be and wouldn’t let up. Even if he didn’t know about the anger issues or there weren’t any, he was way out of line.
Cornflakes_91: > 18f
oops, fixed
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1662100372 | 1662140351 | t3_x3ucqz | t5_2to41 | 24 | StreamSashawoman: TIFU by being obsessed with women
I'm shaking right now and I feel like crying. I can't really explain it, but I want so badly to connect with one of my celebrity crushes on Twitch. She doesn't stream on a regular schedule so I'm constantly checking her Twitch page to see when she is live. No matter how much I try to convince myself that she isn't going to like me or go out with me just because I talk to her on Twitch it doesn't seem to work. I understand what they mean when they say the heart is deceitful above all things. I know that I should find joy in friendships and most of all with God, but sometimes I get obsessed with a particular woman and I feel like I need to get her validation in order to feel good about myself.
At this point I don't know if getting closer to Jesus could help me or not. Maybe I just need to talk to some women, like this Twitch streamer, and face cold hard rejection before I'm able to get in touch with reality. As long as I think there is even a chance that she will like me its so hard to stop obsessing about what it would be like if we were together.
I always obsess over celebrities, porn stars, and just pretty women that I grew up with. Today I was eating dinner with a friend and I saw all the beautiful women sitting at other tables hanging out with their partners or guy friends. I couldn't help but wonder that when me and my friends hangout it's always just us guys. It's never us guys and eligible women. Granted some of my friends are married now, but it's never been the way that I described. Jesus please help me. I'm probably a walking red flag.
Tl;dr I have problems connecting with women
madjarov42: 1. Cancel your subscriptions and delete your Twitch account. This has become an addiction for you and you need it to no longer be a temptation. Block the site. Make it impossible to return to
2. Change your social circle. Your friends might be perfectly fine people but you need a change. Talk to new people - any age or gender. Make connections. Or don't. But socialise in ways you haven't before.
3. Don't look for a girlfriend. Love happens when we're not looking for it. You need connection and you're trying to fill that hole with what is essentially a cheat code (Twitch) but life doesn't have cheat codes. Connect with yourself first. This post you've made is a sign you're on the right track.
3saad: All this is good information but I would also strongly suggest talking with a psychologist to try and work through and better understand why you do this to help prevent it continuing.
madjarov42: Yeah. Sorry I kinda thought that goes without saying but yes, if that's an option, that's first prize.
3saad: No apologies necessary at all, your info is very good. Just wanted to supplement.
I know there are still a ton of people out there that won't even think about therapy because of religious or gender role conditioning they experienced growing up.
| 5 | 4.8 | |
1662096705 | 1662131471 | t3_x3tbsy | t5_2to41 | 62 | [deleted]: TIFU by ruining my life
[removed]
mockinbirdwishmeluck: I may be able to add some perspective from the other side.
I recently left my boyfriend. I loved him a lot but he was deeply struggling with mental health and I could see our relationship was unsustainable.
There were some really scary moments and some dark talk about hurting himself, and I was on edge and afraid constantly. He wouldn't admit that he needed more help than I think he realised, and he was against medication.
The problem for me, which ended the relationship, was that he didn't give me space to process the impact this had on me. If I tried to talk about it, or set boundaries, he would get really down on himself. Saying he was a burden, a bad person, that he's never going to get better and that I should just leave him. I hear this echoed in the language you use in your post.
I feel so guilty for leaving him, like I abandoned him. I miss him so much and the person that he is when he is himself. But I also felt like I was enabling him by minimising myself and my own needs to give everything to him. I hoped that stopping this cycle was a wake up call to him, as he was unable to be in a relationship under his current mindset.
I share this because the only person who can take steps to healing is yourself, and perhaps this is an opportunity to do so. It's worth it both for yourself and for future relationships. However, I do know getting mental health treatment is a huge struggle in some cases, and I hope you have access to the resources you need.
I'm wishing you all the best.
LittleSweetFox: I experienced the same this month. After 7 years I had to say goodbye. I'm hoping that from now on things will only get better. Sending hugs
mockinbirdwishmeluck: It's so hard, I very much understand. Everyone tells me I needed to trust my gut and I'm sure you felt that way too. Hugs back!!
| 4 | 15.5 | |
1662101203 | 1662101817 | t3_x3ukxp | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my dad I wrestle
[deleted]
pogiguy2020: Tell your dad boys get hurt too.
kat3466: My dad is just a bad guy
pogiguy2020: NO he loves you more than likely.
Eventually doing those sports you will get injured and he will say, "See I told you so" LOL
| 4 | 1 | |
1662104161 | 1662165745 | t3_x3vbk1 | t5_2to41 | 80 | [deleted]: TIFU by causing someone to go to the hospital with chemical burns
[deleted]
Jax2: Ooh, I went to a boarding school where kids who got in trouble were made to work in the kitchens after meals, cleaning, as punishment. We had one kid who pretty much spent most of the year, 3 meals a day, working doing dishes, mopping ...etc.
He decided one day he was going to try a new mixture for the mop bucket and added a lot of Ajax cleaning powder. Then he poured bleach in.
Oops.
He and 3 other people in the kitchen ended up going to the hospital after inhaling what was basically chloramine gas.
lutk78: Is Ajax made with ammonia or Is ajax/bleach different than the bleach/ammonia reaction?
Jax2: I'll be honest, I can't say 100% it was ajax, although there are warnings online about mixing it with bleach, but it was some type of cleaning powder. We had an assembly the next day and our AP chemistry teacher explained what happened.
lutk78: It must have been something ammonia based. Its no joke it was used as some of the first chemical warfare in World War 1 I think it was
buttered_cat: Chloramine wasn't used in WW1. Chlorine was. Mixing bleach with some stuff can release chlorine in harmful concentrations.
lutk78: So they didn't use the gas that ammonia/bleach produce?
| 7 | 11.428571 | |
1662104488 | 1662106473 | t3_x3veif | t5_2to41 | 70 | [deleted]: TIFU by roleplaying as my husbands sister
[removed]
Rohlex32: That's some narcissistic shit from her. Maybe a fuck up with the key, but what time is she just letting herself in?
mongoose51Z: yeah agree pretty narcissistic not all gym wear is about her, and I think if she is going to go there immediately that she is probably guilty of having those thoughts about her brother and she just saw it depicted
| 3 | 23.333333 | |
1662107253 | 1662127359 | t3_x3w3ky | t5_2to41 | 77 | Leonetta85: TIFU by having great reflexes, even in my sleep.
TL;DR at the end of the post.
This just happened during the night.
As the title says, I have pretty good reflexes.
Like catching a flying pancake and throwing it back in the pan, catching a glass of beer without spilling and so on.
Now last night I was sleeping like a baby on my 1,5 meter high bed and dreaming away.
I was dreaming about being somewhere outside in a garden and taking nature pictures for a collage.
This was an art project for me so I was taking it very seriously.
At one point I looked up and I realized that behind me there were some tall trees with beautiful yellow leaves and how amazing the contrast was with the blue skies. So I decided to try to capture that the best way possible so I layed down on the ground.
Behind the trees there was an even higher building, so I was trying to lay in a way that I only have the tree leaves and the sky in the pictures.
Here comes the FU.
As I was happily snapping away pictures, suddenly from the corner of my eyes I saw that someone just jumped out of a window from the huge building behind me and high chance he will fall exactly on me.
In a split second decision I threw myself to the left and started rolling fast..
The moment the guy hit the ground, I hit the hard floor of my sleeping room.
I instantly woke up, I looked around, I saw myself wrapped in the blanket like a burrito on the floor.
I realized what just happened and I started to laugh.. until I had to get up, then I almost started to cry.
Now, a few hours later, I have a huge bruise on my right hips while limping and in pain. Remember my bed is pretty high? Even the blanket wrapped around me couldn't eas the fall.
The worse thing? I have 2 big events this weekend I can't skip, what requires fancy dressing and a lot of standing/walking.
TL;DR: So basically I reacted in real life to something happening in my dream and I had a huge fall of my bed and now I can barely walk.
Emotional_Ad1991: Do you have a 1.5m tall bed with no railing, or did you somehow roll over the railing in your sleep?
Leonetta85: No railing, oke, maybe it's only about 1 m and a little but damn.. I can barely move.
SpanRedFlips: 1 meter bed sounds really odd
Leonetta85: Not the bed itself but together with a very high mattress. What I have for my black issues..the irony 😅 My hip hurts way worse than my back right now 🙈
Emotional_Ad1991: Oh fair enough, still seems like a precarious height for a bed with no railings. Hope you get well soon though!
Leonetta85: Thank you, I appreciate it.
Right now I'm sitting on a pack of frozen dumplings..
| 7 | 11 | |
1662111925 | 1662160095 | t3_x3xai9 | t5_2to41 | 3,484 | Thr0waway4areason: TIFU by looking at Reddit while trying to jerk off
[removed]
roseandmirrors: Please stop I can't sleep. I saw the original post 10 hours ago and I still burst out laughing every time I thought of that song.
greetings_quadrupeds: I already made a sex playlist for my husband and I based off of original post. Trying to attract the worm.
PrecursorNL: You had me on "Trying to attract the worm"
TheExpertOnTheMatter: You had me when you quoted the previous comment stating where it had you
BazeyRocker: Where exactly was that?
| 6 | 580.666667 | |
1662112905 | 1662159379 | t3_x3xk8u | t5_2to41 | 98 | damdatscwazy: TIFU by pointing out that my bf's buddy might have a fetish
TLDR; Recived a used laptop, found some sus titles on it and outed the previous owner to his long time buddy
On a throwaway because my boyfriend uses reddit and I don't know if his friend does. Long story short, I needed a laptop for school but seeing as we've had a rough time this past year, I could not afford to buy a brand new one. My bf's buddy was generous enough to give me an old gaming laptop that he wasn't using anymore after he had already wiped it clean (Or so we thought...) and set up the account again for me in my name.
My bf then went about downloading whatever he thought would be useful for me at school and off I went. The laptop is great despite it being really old, and I've been using it for the past week without any real issue. That is until two or three days ago. While launching my adobe reader to get one of my textbooks for homework, I came across two different files. One was titled
"How to make money as a sissy cam whore"
and the other was
"Come and come again the multiple male orgasm".
Wondering what these files were, I asked my bf where they came from because I sure as heck didn't download them. Did he put them there as a prank? Was there something he wanted to share? Was he living a double life I didn't know about?
He pointed out that (his buddy's name) has very long hair (which is true, his mane is freaking luxurious) and is "kinda weird". It was then that it finally clicked for me and I realized that these titles must've been left over from whatever was on the laptop before it even got to me and I might've just outed this unsuspecting dude's fetishes to my boyfriend who has known him for years.
I apologized if this made their friendship weird now but my bf said he didn't care. Now my only issue is...how do I get rid of it from my adobe reader because I definitely don't need these two titles opening up while I'm in class.
caffelino: stop judging other people. is it "weird" because it's not masculine? whatever, grow up
damdatscwazy: When was I judging him? When did I ever imply that the dude isn't masculine? My BF was the one that said he was a weird dude and that it didnt change the friendship so how about you grow the fuck up and learn some reading comprehension.
caffelino: if you weren't judging him, you wouldn't have made this post in the first place
damdatscwazy: Lmao
Making posts about something funny that happened to me is judging him now when I literally made no judgemental statements about the guy what so ever?
I mean hey, if you want to die on some kink shaming hill that doesn't actually exist, by all means.
| 5 | 19.6 | |
1662112938 | 1662144543 | t3_x3xkok | t5_2to41 | 5,318 | [deleted]: TIFU by showering only once a week for my entire life
[deleted]
Roysterdoyster: I would say that every other day is ok for showers. There is plenty of evidence that suggests it is better for your skin and hair. Obviously it depends on where you live and your level of activity.
yumirow: You can also shower everyday but not use soap everywhere everytime
Roysterdoyster: So like an alternate leg or armpit then?
yumirow: I do ears, armpits, groin, ass, feets everyday. And the rest once every 3 days usually
MissMormie: Ears everyday? I don't think I've consiously washed my ears ever. I just assume they get clean when i wash my hair..
yumirow: Mines get dirty, if I don't wash them often I catch myself scratching them
Black_Monkeys: You sound disgusting.
yumirow: I mean, that's why I wash them ?
theblisster: haha, good job. if you wear headphones that might explain why they feel dirty, or have long hair or your pillowcases are dirty
yumirow: I wear headphones and I have long hair x)
| 11 | 483.454545 | |
1662113831 | 1662139187 | t3_x3xtl5 | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by crying after having sex with my husband.
I (M26) and my husband (M24) have been together for 2 years, married for one. We grew up with each other, best friends since third grade, and I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I was in love with him.
He reciprocated my feelings immediately, but I couldn’t help but feel for the longest time that he was only doing so as not to lose me as a friend. He’s assured me that’s not true, and we’re happily married.
I was a virgin when I married him, and he… definitely wasn’t (there’s absolutely no shame in being experienced). So suffice to say I’ve always been nervous about things, and he’s had to teach me a lot.
All this to say, we know each other really well, and so we make jabs at each other out of playfulness. Only, after our first few times having sex, his jokes started to become a little more… pointed. Most of them revolving about how I can’t “last”.
He knows how sensitive I am, and I know he’s not saying these things to hurt me, but I know he’s disappointed. I’ve googled, I’ve read books and articles, you name it, and at least I think I’ve gotten better, but the jokes never stopped.
The last time we had sex, let’s just say I lived up to his jokes. I started profusely apologizing, and I’m pretty sure I had a mild panic attack which led to tears. My husband seemed really hurt that I felt so stressed out about the whole thing that I cried over it. That I hadn’t expressed those feelings and fears before.
He’s just so perfect, and I get so terrified of losing him (he was completely commitment averse before me). He would often walk out of relationships due to boredom when we were younger.
He’s been really quiet ever since it happened, and barely spoke to me when I got home from work. He’s always chatty. I definitely fucked up.
TL;DR : I was a virgin when I met my husband and he jokes every so often about my inexperience. I’ve been so stressed about doing better that when I accidentally finished early, I started crying. My husband’s been hurt/upset since.
Well-WhatHadHappened: Women don't normally do that? Hmmm, maybe I'm doing something wrong.
luluce1808: Bro they are both male
Edit: I didn't want to sound rude :(
Well-WhatHadHappened: This is Reddit. We read headlines here.
warren290059: if it makes you feel any better, he was a 38 yo woman in another post he made, so, you know, you're good.
| 5 | 0.2 | |
1662114424 | 1662134092 | t3_x3xzhs | t5_2to41 | 135 | rabbitt-we: TIFU Talks #58! Come share your stories!
arschmallow: As a german I can very much relate to all the bad public transportation experiences 🥲
emanuelep57: Imagine having one among the best ones in europe and complaining about it..
arschmallow: If you mean germany then I'm sorry for everyone else because unless you live in a major city public transportation has been nothing but inaccessible, late (if they arrive at all that is) and overpriced in my experience. That being said obviously theres always worse places. 🥴
emanuelep57: I live in southern italy, we look at Germany like people looked at USA during '50. You should appreciate your country more, believe me 😂
arschmallow: Oh I do appreciate what we have! 😅 But that won't stop me from calling out straight up bad public transportation (unless you're in a big city of course).
emanuelep57: Well, I don't know exactly how rural Germany is. My idea of Germany is from people I know who've been there (so ofc big cities), so maybe you could also be right and the situation could be that bad. But consider my town has 15'000 inhabitants and we have few buses like 2-3 max and the train with 1 destination maybe once a day
arschmallow: I've lived in a 13000 people town and it was quite similar. Slightly more bus traffic but no train station. 🥴 So maybe somewhat better but not a whole lot.
| 8 | 16.875 | |
1662114799 | 1662160907 | t3_x3y3gn | t5_2to41 | 46,888 | AcidSperm: TIFU when I allowed my girlfriend's brother to spend the night
[removed]
ls952: Wait, he offered to suck your dick, and you're supposed to be the gay one?
AcidSperm: Not only did the brother offer to suck my dick, but he also wanted me to shave his pubes. But yeah, why not, I'm the gay one.
john_wingerr: I mean…you’re the one who agreed to let him stay on your couch. Seems pretty gay to me man.
/s
NyanPotato: Imagine inviting another guy into your apartment
Total gay behavior
john_wingerr: Imagine talking to a guy.
Really gay behavior
darkfight13: Literally knew someone like that 😂
Dude was an old friend from secondary school. Meet up after a few years and he told me he didn't like talking to guys at uni as he didn't want to be seen as gay. Also refused hugs cus it was apparently gay too.
Eldhannas: When did he come out?
darkhorse298: Yea that type of behavior screams secret cock admirer to the heavens.
barfsfw: Total Meat Gazer.
darkhorse298: Absolutely a verified hog appraiser.
pauljaytee: Gives a good look n' male gaze at good lookin' male gays if you catch my drift
| 12 | 3,907.333333 | |
1662115615 | 1662130519 | t3_x3ybrh | t5_2to41 | 14 | Angrycryinglike: TIFU by trying to be a good Christian
I just can't accept this. Why are so many of my favorite porn stars quitting porn and becoming Twitch streamers? Not only are they becoming Twitch streamers but they becoming really successful doing it. I don't care about them quitting porn, it's just that it feels dumb to me that them joining the porn industry had no negative impact on their lives. If anything, it gave them a higher status in society. Instead of being seen as shameful, people see them as being unattainable high value women so to speak. They've just reached this kind of prestige.
I guess I'm a bad person and a bad Christian for saying all of this. I guess I'm wrong for watching their porn to begin with. I just don't understand how people who pursue such worldly endeavors are so successful. I thought it was people that loved God, loved people, and gave to those in need that were supposed to be blessed.
How come I try to be a good Christian and love people, but I'm still so unsuccessful in life? I don't have a girlfriend, I don't really have any money, and I can't seem to get ahead in life. I try to follow biblical values and people see me as a bad person. I just can't deal with all of this.
Tl;dr I can't deal with worldly people being successful
FunkyTown313: This post has to be a joke
NostradaMart: nop... religious incels is now a thing.
FunkyTown313: Fuck. That's weird
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1662118315 | 1662211810 | t3_x3z5pz | t5_2to41 | 32 | PaperPeePee: TIFU at work on camera
I (28m) work as a freelance camera operator and one of the projects I'm currently working on is a reality cooking show for a local production company. I'm 1 out of 9 camera operators on the project, 8 of those camera operators shoot handheld while the 9th camera is mounted on a JIB, which is controlled on a crane.
My fuck up happened during lunch. I was one of a few crew members on set. Most of them were still in the crew catering area. No other camera operators were on set at the time. Out of boredom, I started sending my gf flirty messages. I didn't expect her to be in the mood for my horny behaviour at 1 in the afternoon, but apparently she was horny too because she sent me a photo of her licking two origami penises.
Before I could respond to the photo, I suddenly heard my director speaking through my earpiece. He wanted me to confirm which paper penis was supposed to be mine: the small one or the smaller one. At that moment I realized the JIB camera had been hovering over my head for who knows how long thanks to the JIB operator who managed to show up on set without me noticing.
What made it even more embarrassing was the fact that every camera provided a live feed to the control room, which is where the director, the bosses, various heads of department and clients come together to watch the show. Basically every important person who was responsible for my employment one way or another. I had no idea how many of them saw what was on my phone via the camera feeds, but it was definitely not just the director and the JIB operator based on how many people on set were joking about the origami penises afterwards.
Not everyone thought it was funny though. One of the production managers did end up lecturing me about professionalism. The wrap party is tomorrow night and my gf will be my plus one. How the fuck do I tell her that all my coworkers, who she will meet at the party for the very first time, has seen her licking two origami dicks? I'm dead for sure. She's gonna fucking kill me.
**Tl;dr My gf sent me a photo of her licking two penises made of paper, and thanks to my complete lack of awareness, that photo appeared live on camera for all my coworkers to see.**
babysuck123: So I'm straight... you were waiting for work to resume... so technically on break... and the jib operator spied on you, and your gf will kill you?
AustinBennettWriter: Are you straight? Would it be gay if you sucked on two origami dicks?
Also, instead of handling it in a professional manner, some douche called it out on speaker for everyone to hear?
Sounds like this really isn't OPs mistake.
babysuck123: Idk what your opener is supposed to mean. Saying you'd like to be straight in this context means that the story confused you a little and you are trying to straighten out the fact pattern.
AustinBennettWriter: ...woosh
| 5 | 6.4 | |
1662119820 | 1662120226 | t3_x3zmoa | t5_2to41 | 73 | Less_Hour_2107: TIFU by scrolling through my dad’s locked gallery (18f)
This actually happened about 2 years ago when I still had an ok relationship with my parents.
I was 18 (f) at that time, now I am 20f . My dad had just shown me a few old pics of me on his phone and left it to charge as his phone was low on battery. As soon as he went to another room, I decided to go through his gallery to see if I can find any more pics . That’s where I saw a locked folder with a passcode which was called “To do list” . It sounded very tempting so I tried the password he usually uses and to my surprise it worked. Well, sometimes I wish I wouldn’t have gone through his phon because what I saw in that folder were tons of naked models posing for him in different positions with his name written on their bodies.
It definitely shocked me as my dad is actually a religious guy or at least seems like one…
Now I have learned my lesson to never click on the locked gallery.
Tl;Dr my dad’s locked gallery was full of naked women
Edit : this incident didn’t change my perspective on him, I don’t judge him . I know it was my fault, I don’t have a good relationship with him anymore because of a different reason.
OkVolume1: You found his literal "to do" list.
Achievement unlocked.
BinkoTheViking: Achievement Unlocked: Scarred For Life.
| 3 | 24.333333 | |
1662121013 | 1662121669 | t3_x401sk | t5_2to41 | 44 | JaymintheAchiever: TIFU by dropping every class due to anxiety.
I could not breathe. I felt so stressed, that I was breathing irregularly, my heartrate was literally at 108, and I wanted to cry myself to sleep because of how much work I had to do.
So guess what? I dropped every dual enrollment class I had since the "W" deadline hadn't come yet. However, I now feel like a dumbass for dropping.
You see, there are these kids in my school who are absolute geniuses. So many of them are taking 4-5 AP classes, and I only signed up for 2 since I was scared that my depression would come back, and that I might need an extra day or two to catch up.
That did happen, but I feel so lazy. I feel like I won't ever be able to complete my dream of being an engineer because, let's face it, the people who also want to become that at my school are taking the most advanced classes and everything.
In fact, every day I wonder if college is actually for me because of how my brain works. If I can't even take 5-6 APs now, or any dual enrollment classes, then how the shit am I gonna survive in that environment?
The worst part about it is that my mom claims that bad kids "don't focus on their future and are lazy." She thinks my school is full of them, but I'm the only "bad" kid around. She thinks that because I am bisexual, that I am being influenced by "bad kids", but I am the one who is despicable.
TLDR: I dropped all my dual enrollment classes since I was feeling stressed by them, and now I feel like a failure.
SuperBrentendo64: All the dual credit classes are just to get ahead in college. You can just go to college and take the classes like the majority of people do. If youre not ready for college classes in high school that is totally fine.
JaymintheAchiever: I just feel slightly bothered since everyone around me is achieving great things and here I am not even finished with my permit. I try, I really do, but it's never enough. My classmates have jobs, stellar academics, everything.
I feel somewhat resentful, because if I had gotten meds for my issues when I was in middle school, then maybe I wouldn't have such a fixed/stressed mindset from all the insults/bullying I received due to my issues.
SuperBrentendo64: Not everyone is ready at the same time. I didnt get my bachelors degree til i was 30. But now i have a phd at 36. Im glad i took my time to figure out what I wanted in life.
Everyone goes at their own pace, and thats okay.
Dont get too caught up in what everyone else seems to be doing.
| 4 | 11 | |
1662123398 | 1662152648 | t3_x40vdq | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU Flirting on the job
[removed]
[deleted]: OP woke up this morning and decided to take Ls all day.
Educational-Hat-559: Only L im taking is the one im smoking straight to the face!
superperps: Smoke that pot. At least you're not fucking a minor. I hope.
Educational-Hat-559: I hope not either
superperps: Ya but.. you tried. You're a diddler
Educational-Hat-559: Idk what that means but u must be the guy from the simpsons
superperps: Whatever helps you cope with the fact you were hitting on a child.
Educational-Hat-559: You’re harassing me
superperps: Yep, because you want to fuck kids.
Educational-Hat-559: Stop harassing me 😂
superperps: Stop harassing children.
| 12 | 2.833333 | |
1662122678 | 1662130475 | t3_x40m4h | t5_2to41 | 208 | litken_chitle: TIFU by telling ny kids teacher she learned the n-word at school
Obligatory, not today but this week. Im a terribke story teller but I tried my best. TL;DR at the bottom. Anyways, on to my glorious fuck up. Sit down and buckle up folks. It's a doozy
So! Last weekend was pretty uneventful; lots of cleaning house and prepping for the upcoming week. I have a highschool senior and a kindergarter so it's been a little crazy getting both of them ready for the school year and last week everything started to calm because we finally fell into a routine.
It was Sunday afternoon & my daughter was happily learning about national flags (a new obsession really) on her tablet while my husband I cleaned house and did laundry. I'd say it was a "completely uneventful" weekend except for the fact that my daughter casually dropped the n-word.
My husband and I both stopped in our tracks and exchanged "What the fuck?" looks. This caught us both off guard because we absolutely do not use that word any other language like that & anything that might even raise an eyebrow from an outsider. We've talked about it multiple times with her; we've even explained that there are some words that others can say to each other but in no way does that mean we talk like that. We also did our best to explain that there are some bad people out there that say terrible, hurtful things about other people's skin color and how they sometimes try to actually hurt these same people. Even in her young mind that upset her.
But she just said it! Didn't she? No! Not my sweet, angelic child!
My husband asked her if she just said what we thought she said. She looked up and with an unsure, quiet voice, she agreed
We immediately sat her down and went all through it again. We both expressed our disappointment in her & told her her she is better than that. She couldn't even tell us where she learned it; whenever we asked, she'd shrug. We then made her hand over the tablet so we could dig through it's history. There was nothing there except a plethora of national flag videos. Ok, so that's not it. Where though?!
We kept mulling over it after we talked with her and the ONLY other thing that has recently changed with her is well, starting school. It made sense to us. So we asked her again if she learned it at school, more shrugging but she also looked utterly confused too. This was unlike her. She's a very "matter of fact" kind of little lady & if its on her mind, she will say it. She had pretty much shut down by then so we dropped it for the time being so I set a reminder on my phone to call the teacher Monday.
Monday rolled around and a lot of unexpected stuff threw our whole day off. I had a reminder on my phone to call the teacher but I pushed the notification off to remind me later and by the time I had the chance, my kiddos were home from school.
Now, All the kids in this class have a folder that not only is used for sending home all that pretty art work but is also utilized as a way to let the parents know how that day went for their child. Parents are supposed to sign it and send it back everyday. I opened the folder up and Ms. Teacher wrote that she had to brag on my kid and wanted to call me later in the evening. So in my head, "Perfect! I too need to chat with her anyways..."
So she calls a couple hours later; she talks about how sweet and helpful my daughter is but she also was just blown away by my her reading ability. "She read a 2nd grade level book to me front to back with no help!" I told her I knew my kid was a little more advanced in her reading skills but didnt know she was THAT advanced. (I'm one proud momma!) I also brought up my kiddo's new obsession with flags and asked the teacher to help her find books in the library about them if possible which she was all for.
But then, I had to go and kill the happy moment with my concern with my child's new and appalling vernacular. She was floored and assured me she would not only talk with the class but involve the principal just to be sure. We then said our goodbyes and that was that, or so I thought until 30 minutes later...
My daughter is doing what she loves by watching those same videos about every country's flags. She's in her own world and SHE SAID IT AGAIN! Plain as day!
I let out a very loud "WHAT?! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"
She looks up, tears forming in those big, beautiful, brown eyes, "I said nig..." and she looks down at the tablet, clearly frustrated. She then held it up while the tears started rolling down her chubby cheeks, and asked, How do I say this country?!"
IT SAID **NIGERIA**
Jfc, what have I done?!
I plainly pronounced it, correcting her & immediately apologized. Dad and I both explained she was saying a country incorrectly but we thought she was using bad words this whole time. She got some much deserved cuddles and kisses from us both while we had to hold back our laughing at our own stupidity. So! GUESS WHO HAD TO TEXT THE TEACHER AND EAT CROW?! Yeah, I didn't even have the balls to call her. She found it funny but I still have to face her eventually so there's that. So my kid can read well but not THAT well
Certainly not one of my proudest moments and if you have a big deep hole I could crawl into and die, that'd be great. I didn't stick my foot in my mouth, I crammed my entire leg in there! That's a big fat mom fail!
One day, I hope we can look back at this and laugh but right now, I am mortified
TL;DR: I thought my 5 year old was saying the n-word and I told her teacher she probably learned it at school. She did not, she just couldn't pronounce Nigeria
Technicolourhero: As someone who has a 2 year old who says the F*g slur instead of flag, this cracked me up!
litken_chitle: Ha! That remeinds me! I used to have a friend that had a cute little boy that would say "big black truck" but it sounded like "big black cock" and it was something he was obsessed with because thats what his dad drove. Momma was constantly correcting him public but we would fall apart & laughing in private
Technicolourhero: Aren’t kids the best? The crazy things they say! My son also calls fire trucks “fire fucks”. This comes up even more than the usual toddler because I’m a firefighter!
litken_chitle: My gawd, that's absolutely hilarious! They are great! Thank you for your service too! It's not something I could ever do. Major props sir!
Technicolourhero: I’m actually a woman but thank you :) kind people like you are wonderful! I’d say you’re the only reason anyone volunteers to fight fires, but I’d be lying because it’s fun (when it’s not pants shittingly terrifying) and the friends I’ve made are amazing. Also…..playing with fire hoses is absolutely as fun as it looks.
litken_chitle: A chick firefighter! That's the coolest! Ill stick with my little green garden hose though. I'm chicken shit, I admit it. Fire terrifies me. I will be depending on people like YOU if I ever have to and when it comes to heros, fire fighters are top tier. Again, thank you LADY!
Technicolourhero: We will be here to save you from a burning holding or rescue your cat if it get stuck in the tree :) just don’t ask me to touch a fish. Those things terrify me.
litken_chitle: I feel like there is a story behind that! Dont feel bad though! I am also highly bovinephobic myself. Also, yeah- there's a story behind that too but that for another day
Edit: You have Ichthyophobia! I learned a new word today but I can not say it either
It has come full circle now
Technicolourhero: I wish there was a story behind it but nope….they’re just so cold and slimy and the eyes and…..ugh. Probably the least scary thing here in Australia too!
litken_chitle: Ah ok. I see but geez, you're Australian too. Are all the cool people over there? Because I dont belong where I am anyways
| 11 | 18.909091 | |
1662125423 | 1662183396 | t3_x41l3y | t5_2to41 | 11,701 | RobIII: TIFU by trusting my 13 yr old son to not try to get a brick of coke through customs
This happened about 3 weeks ago. But the story starts a little further back in time.
I have 2 kids, a (now) 16 yr old son and a 13 yr old son. A year-ish ago when we were all in COVID19 lockdown my eldest son was contacted by his teacher to check up on him and his well-being with a text along the lines of "Hey, everything OK?". Great guy, students love him. Eldest, being a bit of a joker, replied "Everything fine, heist was a big success, money is hidden <somewhere>" - or something along those lines. Teacher, appreciating the joke, played along for a while going as far as sending my son and some friends on 'scavenger hunts' with distorted voice messages and all. They had their little, pretend, gangster empire for a little while. Which was a welcome merry change of affairs having been in umpty lockdowns and boring online classes etc. And which, eventually, led to my son making a few 'bricks of cocaine' from flour and wrapped in cling film and ducttape which he then delivered to teachers doorstep. All jokes, albeit a little... on the edge, but it was all harmless and in good spirit. Anyway, eventually the empire faded and everything went back to normal.
Fast forward a year-or-so. Youngest (not being involved in anything of the above) went to swim at a friend who had a pool in his backyard. His friend, jokingly, told youngest he could only come over if he paid the entrance fee of some (insane) amount. Youngest then remembered eldest may still have a brick of 'cocaine' lying around - which he did. So he took the brick, went to his friend, paid the 'entrance fee' and they played and swam with his friend that afternoon. When he went home he put the brick back in his backpack.
Fast forward another week. Holiday time. We were ready for our long overdue vacation and booked a vacation to Mallorca. We pack our bags, drive 2 hours to get to the airport and check in our suitcases, stroll around a little while on the airport, eat something and then head towards customs. We're each carrying a backpack as handluggage. Our backpacks go through the X-ray machine, we all go through the scanning-port-thingy and as I'm gathering my keys, phone, wallet etc. from the converyorbelt I notice an officer gesturing at my youngest to come over, holding up his backpack.
Ok, by now it is painstakingly clear where this is going, what else would the backstory serve for, right? So my youngest is instructed to open his backpack, and he complies. Officer reaches in his backpack and begins unpacking. A book. A sweater. An iPad... all the regular stuff. I think nothing of it and assume it's just a random check. Stuff keeps coming out his backpack until finally the officer reaches in, his arm all the way deep into the backpack and, in slow motion, out he pulls this brick of "cocaine" and a little plastic bag of "weed" (which was _actual_ weed from our backyard ^(not the kind that gets you high) cut up in small pieces to make it _look_ like weed ^(the marijuana kind). I still don't know where that came from; if it was also made by eldest, or maybe youngest decided to 1-up his older brother. Not sure. Anyway...
...
...
It took me a while to register what I was witnessing and it took me another few seconds to put together the pieces on what had happened. I didn't know the entire story at that time, but I did gather that the brick in the officer's hands must be one of the bricks of "cocaine" from last year's adventure of eldest. Our passports were taken into custody, we were set apart* and four policemen, two of them with (Edit: [semi](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x41l3y/tifu_by_trusting_my_13_yr_old_son_to_not_try_to/imxfcf8/)-)automatic rifles appeared (which is quite a shock for Europeans / Dutch people, we're not used to that) looking very much NOT amused. Mind you, we were at a German airport, Cologne, and, let's be honest here: You can say a lot about Germans but one thing they _aren't_ known for is their excellent sense of humor... A little later another 2 officers appeared with suitcases containing test kits, swabs, blue liquids, the whole shebang.
Meanwhile I was trying to explain to the officers what had happened in my broken German; "Es war ein witz auf seine freund!" (it was a prank on his friend). Ofcourse 'it was a prank', every other coke-smuggling person would say that! While images of rubber gloves and barking drug-sniffing dogs flashed before my eyes my heart sunk deeper and deeper. As did my wife's and our kids'. I don't know how long it took in total, but it felt like forever. Eventually, I guess about an hour or so later, when all tests had confirmed that the 'coke' was, indeed, not-coke and that the weed was, indeed, not-marijuana, the two guys left with their tests and suitcases. We got a long lecture from one of the officers (deservedly so!) that those kind of 'pranks' weren't funny and that we were lucky they didn't charge us for the time lost by all these people and tests etc. The 'drugs' were handed back to youngest who was then instructed to bin them.
Luckily we were at the airport very early (long lines at the airports, so we wanted to be sure) and so we still made our flight. We were even more lucky that this happened in Cologne, Germany and not some far-away country where you get jailed for years for carrying a single joint. We were lucky youngest is a minor. We were lucky we weren't charged with anything and lucky we weren't charged for the tests. We were lucky we still made our flight. And youngest is lucky we're still allowing him to live under our roof :-)
**TL;DR**: My 13 year old son tried to get across the border with a brick of (fake)cocaine he forgot about. And I learned to not let my kids pack their own bags; apparently 13 *isn't* "old enough to pack your own bags". Also I'm probably on some FBI/CIA watchlist.
---
\* Edit: as I [commented here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x41l3y/tifu_by_trusting_my_13_yr_old_son_to_not_try_to/imv29j9/?context=3), I'll explain the "Sat apart" part:
> it may not have been very clear from the story but "isolation" was nothing more but being told to step aside for a little. It wasn't like we were taken into a different (interrogation) room or anything. We were separated from the rest of the public by some officers, but that was that. That was "isolation". People were generally just strolling by with their handluggage, the odd one out looking a little confused as to what was going on because the kilo or so - I guess - of "coke" was pretty visible for everyone... with a pretty normal, average looking family of four standing behind some officers all flush faced.
Also, some people are making MUCH more out of the teacher and 'gangster empire' situation than it was. I tried to explain [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x41l3y/tifu_by_trusting_my_13_yr_old_son_to_not_try_to/imspwqq/) and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x41l3y/tifu_by_trusting_my_13_yr_old_son_to_not_try_to/imst53b/) and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x41l3y/tifu_by_trusting_my_13_yr_old_son_to_not_try_to/imuerku/) and in a few other comments, but I guess it was a sort of "you had to be there" kind of situation. There was absolutely nothing going on, no "grooming future mules", nothing inappropriate (culturally) or 'funny business'. And, no, it's not a habit to prank with / about drugs. I wish some people could read this story a _little_ more lightheartedly.
whateverathrowaway00: Oooooooof. That could have ended poorly. Some of those instant tests are known for false positives. I hope your kid was suitably terrified, not that I wish that on a kid - but it’s a good a time as any to learn “pranks on legal authorities sometimes turn horribly horribly wrong.” Hopefully the guns taught him that lesson.
RobIII: > I hope your kid was suitably terrified
He was. At the time it was going on, the testing was in progress etc., I was overthinking all the ways I was going to punish him, but once I got a look at his face I decided he had been punished enough right then and there.
Also, to be clear, he wasn't trying to prank the authorities, he just forgot about the brick of flour in his backpack from earlier that week; he didn't leave it in there on purpose.
Finally; if you're (or anyone reading this) from the US I think perspective will be a little (lot?) different. Yes, there were guns, but they were strapped on the officer's bodies, pointed towards the ground, at all times. Never, not one second, were they "drawn" or pointed at us or anyone. Also, the whole situation was handled calmly, no shouting, normal discussion and - when the dust settled down - even a little joking/smiling among the adults about the stupidity and absurdity of the situation. Not one voice was raised except for maybe when I scolded youngest a little while for being a dumbass 😅 I think this situation would've been a totally different matter in the US or some other countries - forgive me.
OneOfThese_: >Finally; if you're (or anyone reading this) from the US I think perspective will be a little (lot?) different. Yes, there were guns, but they were strapped on the officer's bodies, pointed towards the ground, at all times. Never, not one second, were they "drawn" or pointed at us or anyone.
That's firearm safety. Should be the same almost anywhere.
BabyBlueBirks: Lol, Europeans thinking that in the US if you bring a bag of flour to the airport you’ll get guns drawn and pointed in your face, yelling “Get on the ground!!” 🤦♀️
hablandochilango: And he thinks it’s weird to see guns in Europe? Guy doesn’t get out much, police have guns all over the place in Europe.
ToBiOrNotToBiNB: Well mostly just pistols. Especially in the netherlands it's extremely rare to see officers with any kind of rifle.
hablandochilango: I’ve seen rifles at Schipol and it’s also very easy to google.
Also found this, which aligns with my experience in Amsterdam / Europe generally (which is that it’s much much much easier to find police patrolling/posted with rifles in European cities than American ones)
https://nltimes.nl/2016/01/26/dutch-cops-carry-machine-guns-public
baildodger: Yes, that’s at the airport. Across most of Europe, airports are the most common place to see police with rifles. It’s not common to see them anywhere else, and most people only go to an airport once or twice per year.
In the UK you see them at airports, and outside Downing Street/Houses of Parliament/Buckingham Palace. You might see military police with rifles at the entrance to a military base. That’s basically it. It’s incredibly rare to see an officer with a rifle anywhere else.
Firearms officers have them in their cars, but they don’t get them out very often. I’m a paramedic in the UK and I’ve been to a few incidents where armed police have been on scene, but I’ve only seen them get rifles out twice, and one of those occasions was a confirmed firearms incident.
hablandochilango: Im 100% sure I’ve seen police with rifles standing around the Eiffel Tower, which is not an airport or seat of government. Just a place where people gather.
andzno1: What part of "not common" do you not understand?
hablandochilango: It’s common though, pretty sure I’ve seen it every time I’ve gone to Europe lmao.
baildodger: Every time you go to Europe do you go to airports and massive tourist attractions like the Eiffel Tower?
Most people who live in France don’t regularly visit the Eiffel Tower. I guess if you live in Paris and your walk to work takes you past it, you might see them regularly. But the vast majority of the French population don’t live in Paris, and the vast majority of the Paris population don’t walk past the Eiffel Tower every day.
When I visited the US I saw police with rifles and shotguns at the World Trade Center memorial, and outside Trump Tower, and outside the White House and the Capitol Building. But I saw all of those because I spent a week at some of the biggest tourist attractions in the US. Most people in the US don’t regularly go to those places.
hablandochilango: Ok so what are we even talking about here? This all started because OP is shocked he saw cops in Europe with rifles. I point out it happens often in Europe, not only at airports but also quite public places / cities, all of which local people might come across. Airports aren’t exactly odd places that only foreigners experience. Obviously cops aren’t walking down the street in small towns with guns.
| 14 | 835.785714 | |
1662127688 | 1662203644 | t3_x42g91 | t5_2to41 | 4,350 | NoodlesEatingFrogs: TIFU by letting my boyfriend go down on me
I’ve shared this story on the tifu talks already but Reddit is ready to hear this. I (17f) got on birth control about a month ago so my hormones are periods and random right now and all over the place. Over the weekend I went over to my bf’s place (17m) we’ll call him T. T and I decided to have some sexy time together of course. It was super late at night and T’s parents were asleep so we had the lights off. My bf logs giving head and begged me to let him go down on me. I agreed to this and both of us had unknowingly realised that I had just started my period. He goes to town, I cum and then we fuck. Still at this point we hadn’t realised I was bleeding all over the sheets. I go to the bathroom and look down to see I am covered in blood. Rushing back to his room I turn on the lights and T has blood all over him and around his mouth. I was horrified and super embarrassed over the entire situation. We both washed off all the blood and showered in the morning. I was so embarrassed but T was very kind and laughed it off. Am still very embarrassed but it’ll be a fun story to look back on.
TL;DR my bf went down on me whilst on my period and it was a mess
EDIT: just in response to some comments. He was very mature about it and laughed it off. I just thought it was a funny story to share. We’ve both moved on and I just want to share how this reaction is normal. It’s not something to be shamed upon at all. But yes all just a bangs situation 😂🥰
EDIT2: Again to clear up some stuff. We cleaned off most of the blood but couldn’t shower until the morning as it was 1am and didn’t wnat to wake his parents to this.
I’ve confirmed with T that he didn’t notice at all. All women are different with periods regarding smell taste consistency etc.
T has since now seen this post and has had an amazing laugh and thanks everyone for giving him his ‘red wings’ and welcoming.
Thank you to all the positive comments it’s really appreciated and though some might not consider it a tifu it was just a fun story to share with you all ☺️
UnspokenRagePillow: Does your bf avoid sunlight? Ever seen him in a mirror?
NerdHerder77: Does he insist on being invited in before crossing your threshold? How does he feel about garlic bread?
UnicornBelieber: And what's his stance on the wearing of religious symbols?
ilhauging: Does he live in a very old castle?
Dantez9001: Is he obsessed with counting things?
Leo_V82: Does he scream "IT'S MORBIN' TIME" at the top of his lungs everytime you want to have sex?
Force3vo: Who doesn't?
| 8 | 543.75 | |
1662130022 | 1662143791 | t3_x43d83 | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by not trusting my gut
[deleted]
pukpukpak: Are you a minor? Cause then you could threaten them for being in possession of CP. That might shut them up.
This is more meme advice, dont take it seriously.
Sylvurphlame: Or OP could actually be charged with distributing the CP themselves, depending on the jurisdiction. That one is only four if you’ve already crossed the gods of the threshold.
| 3 | 3 | |
1662133114 | 1662139001 | t3_x44n4o | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU bu drinks someone's bathwater
[deleted]
Icy_Engine_7648: So what does the brother usually do with the $150 bathwater?
AcrobaticSource3: And if he’s a “regular customer” he must either have a collection or drink or masturbate with it frequently
| 3 | 1 | |
1662137414 | 1662139377 | t3_x46f4e | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by lying to everyone for years
[deleted]
Human_Application_62: Yeah this is crazy but I can relate I told my family I was attending college but was actually out looking for work as I couldn’t make it to the next year, managed to find a decent job and then told them I left college to work full time as education wasn’t for me they didn’t say anything and I have back home bengali parents who think education is the utmost important thing in the world so I’m sure if you can find a decent job somewhere no one would say anything because at least you’re working and making a living instead of sitting around being a bum, if you need advice or moral support I’m here for you brother don’t hesitate to message and I’m from the UK but can help you out by doing research on stuff and finding stuff out for you let me know. Stay strong you got this bro.
JesterFone: How do I find a job with only a high school degree? Almost any job I've looked up required some kind of degree.
Human_Application_62: Here’s a start
https://money.usnews.com/careers/best-jobs/rankings/best-jobs-without-a-college-degree
https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/no-high-school-diploma-jobs
I use indeed in the UK myself and are really good at finding jobs just apply to 30 day. Spend atleast an hour a day on job hunting and also education hunting where you can do small courses to help getting a job. I’d also contact the American Job Centre they’ll Atleast give you some more info about how you can go about looking for a job without a college degree.
https://www.careeronestop.org/LocalHelp/AmericanJobCenters/american-job-centers.aspx
Add you zip/postcode and see what’s near you that would be your first start.
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1662137991 | 1662138608 | t3_x46nhl | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU// I (f18) messed up by going into the kitchen at night.
[deleted]
RonConComa: "Once you're married you never need to maturbate"
Who's gonna tell her?
By the way.. Welcome in the world of adult relationship sex life after kids...
infinleyty: i think i realised that now😭
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1662138158 | 1662141996 | t3_x46q9f | t5_2to41 | 13 | infinleyty: TIFU// I (f18) messed up by going into the kitchen at night.
Sidenote: I have this weird curse of always catching people masturbating and doing their enjoyable stuff.
But catching my step father ( m 43) was the least thing I expected.
So I am always terribly hungry at night and am desperate to eat food, I'm not really the type of person to eat on daylight, I prefer being a nightowl. My step father and I don't have the best relationship, so I'm always scared to go downstairs at night as he sleeps in the living room (our livingroom and kitchen are connected) because he snores louder than 10 motorcycles together so my mom couldn't take it and sent him down to sleep, our couch is really comfortable. I kept hesitating but at this point I was too desperate to have some food in my stomach. I didn't know if my step father was asleep so I just risked it and went downstairs and ignored the fear I had from being judged by him for eating.
I very quietly went downstairs and saw that the lights were closed so I was really relieved. I tried my best to be quiet and I heard silent whimpers but I didn't think much of it. He snores really loud so I thought he was just about to start doing that. I went in and didn't look into his direction at first, but my curiosity took over and there I saw it.
Him.
Masturbating with his eyes closed.
I'm surprised I managed to be quiet enough for him not to notice me coming inside the livingroom. I stood there for good 10 seconds watching him rub his genitalia up and down. I was too shocked to move.
Jesus, out of all people I caught this was the worst.
In wattpad stories this always turns into a shaggy moment but reality is terrible.
I instantly ran out and just grabbed something we had left from a small basement type of room.
I'm praying he didn't notice me, but I should have been clever enough to not enter a room someone is whimpering in.
I'm not going to tell my mom about this, ever.
TL;DR: I (f18) was hungry at night and my step father (m 43) sleeps downstairs (in the living room which is connected to the kitchen). I heard whimpering but I still went inside then I saw he was masturbating and I just stood there for good 10 seconds realising it.
BurnedPsycho: >I very quietly went downstairs
Yep . That's the fuck up...
Next time make some noise, make sure he hear you going down those stairs...
infinleyty: i had to it was like 1 or 2am😩
BurnedPsycho: You didn't had to, you felt like you should.
He's a heavy snorer, he most likely won't hear you if he is asleep.
infinleyty: yeahh but my mom and my baby sister sleep with the door open so that was also a reason for me to stay quiet
BurnedPsycho: Sounds like you're bound to see him jack off again then...
infinleyty: after this i havent even let my hungryness take over me to risk going downstairs, like i said i dont do it often anyway as we avoid each other, but i got a little closet in my room now with food inside so that will be enough🫂
| 7 | 1.857143 | |
1662139244 | 1662140892 | t3_x476ne | t5_2to41 | 35 | Groiner: TIFU by not wearing a helmet while skateboarding.
This actually happened yesterday but I'm only kinda able to type it out now.
So, to start, I don't skate often. I used to skate around on my brother's skateboard sometimes or use roller skates as a kid but I recently decided to make the purchase and buy a skateboard. Mainly because my friend is massive into it and I wanted to see what's up. So I buy the skateboard, it arrives, my friend picks me up and we go to the skatepark.
It was great. Super fun. I just skated around like I did on my brother's skateboard the past couple years and have a great time doing it. Anyway, all is well and neither of us are wearing helmets cause I'm not doing any big tricks or anything and he is a pro so he doesn't feel the need to I guess? All is well anyway, and then tragedy struck.
For me, my memory goes from skating around having fun to black and then being in my friends car super dizzy and barely awake. I go "what happened?" And he just said "oh man, I think you've got a concussion." I was completely bewildered. What? When? How? And he tells me I tried going down a ramp and ended up on the back of my head. He said I was knocked out for a couple seconds and then I came to and was barely functioning so he helped me back to the car.
I got home and was like "what the fuck is happening" for about an hour before I just tell my mam "I think I need to go to the hospital." That was at five O'Clock last night, it's currently six o'clock the following day. I barely remember any of yesterday but I did a CT scan on my brain and...
Intracerebral Hematoma, bleeding between the layers surrounding the brain.
I'm told I'll be ok and that it's only a small bleed but I've to stay and be monitored by hospital staff for the next 48 hours. It's awful. Every hour I do the same test. My vision is fucked and my hand eye coordination is skewed. My speech is like slightly slurred and I just sound like a drunk idiot. I told the same story five times in a row. They told me I could have some long term effects from this and I just can't fucking believe it. I don't even have a bed in the hospital, I slept in a chair last night. I'm lying in a chair right now. I'm gonna miss two days of work. All because I didn't wear a fucking helmet while skateboarding. Life sucks now, I wanna cry.
Tl;Dr : I slipped and fell while skateboarding and because I wasn't wearing a helmet, I caused a bleed in my brain that could lead to long term side effects.
Wear a helmet, kids.
PeachesMcJingles: Man, I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this and learn that lesson the hard way. You’ll be ok though, it’ll just take some time to heal. Be patient with yourself while you’re recovering and try not to push yourself too hard. (I have some brain damage due to severe blood loss a few years ago) it was a process but you wouldn’t even know it now, at least I hope lol! I would get frustrated easily with things I couldn’t remember or helping my daughter with homework and couldn’t remember what I was doing. So just remember to give yourself some grace and be patient with yourself. You’ll have a great recovery no doubt! You got this! 💪
Groiner: Thank you so much man, I'm having such a hard time right now but hearing that someone else has gone through it almost brought me to tears. I was forgetting stuff yesterday, I went on a great date with my girlfriend the day before but couldn't even remember *her* but she came back into my memory and I've only really lost the part where I fell and I've bits and pieces of memory from the last day. It's so weird and awful.
When I called my mam and told her I had a bleed on my brain she broke down in tears, which made me break down as well.
They say I'm doing excellent tho. And that they don't see any long-term damage forming. But they need to keep an eye on it
PeachesMcJingles: I would definitely cry from a phone call like that too! It’s a very scary thing to go through. You were smart to get yourself to the hospital last night and not wait any longer. It sounds like you’re in good hands. Don’t be afraid to rely on your support system and ask for help when you need it. (That’s one I had to learn the hard way, I kept trying to do everything myself and act like I was ok) it’s going to suck for now for sure, just don’t dismiss your feelings and talk when you need to. Each day will get better than the last and you’ll be back on track before you know it 🙂
| 4 | 8.75 | |
1662135550 | 1662204212 | t3_x45nq4 | t5_2to41 | 60 | Jonnythecontractor: TIFU: thought it was bad sushi, nope there goes my appendix
**long post warning**
TL;DR: thought I had bad sushi, but my appendix burst instead
TIFU:
Working for a shitty boss and nearly dying at work
Eating bad sushi and thinking it wasn't my appendix
Working until my appendix burst
Pick one
Note this happened 9 years ago this year, however, it came up in my kidney stones post. So enjoy!
TIFU:
I should mention 2 things: 1 I'm a filthy MC1R gene holder. 2. Due to childhood trauma I have an obscene pain tolerance.
I had sushi the night before and it wasn't sitting well when I went to bed.
I awoke at my usual 450am; unusual was a sharp pain in my abdomen. It hurt, probably a good 4-5 on my pain scale. So like, enough to hurt, but not enough to trigger immediate medical attention.
Showered, shaved, clothed, made my cup of coffee and grabbed my Costco muffin and out the door to the work truck.
I'm the senior HVAC tech of a very small company in the NOVA area at this point, I'm making $27? An hour, except from when I'm fixing NIH equipment, then I'm scale pay at $57/hour.
We go in for our morning shop meeting, turning in time sheets, etc. Except, sitting feels, uncomfortable, and my stomach is really not liking coffee and a muffin.
Halfway to the office I pull over in morning rush hour traffic, I epically upchuck last nights sake and sushi, this mornings coffee, and my chocolate muffin. Chocolate muffin takes on a peculiar texture when it comes back up through your nose.
Meh. I guess it was bad sushi. My stomach doesn't hurt as bad, and some of the pressure in my stomach eased up. No big deal.
I show up to work.
Pain is at a 5
Get assigned an easy maintenance. I let the boss know I'm calling it early because I don't feel good, but I'll get the maintenance covered. The other tech is headed for BFE somewhere in the people's Republic of Maryland.
I write a Facebook post, explaining the pain and the vomit-ing, outsourcing my medical care (like any millennial) to my friends.
Pain is increasing around a 6.5
I'm maybe halfway through my maintenance and the phone rings. Emergency call. We maintain a TV station's equipment right in Fairfax/falls church.
Fun fact, the power required to boost a signal to go out an antennae with power, generates an OBSCENE amount of heat. Theres a dedicated unit for the space, and it's redundant twin.
But. The Twin unit on this server room failed last maintenance, and needs to be repaired. And now both of the twins are out. Megawatts of power are going through this equipment these systems are 12 tons. (That's double your biggest residential size +20%)
Bad news bears, boss, I'm sick, no can do, call "frank" back.
"Nope. Can't. He's out of cell reception somewhere past Waldorf. Gotta be you."
Boss this pain is building, I'm pretty sure it's my appendix, idk what the hell it is, but, I'm pretty sure it's hurtin.
Oh, you're just whining, suck it up, stop being one of the millennial pansies, and go fix the unit, you can have the rest of the week off.
(Note Mickey, my boss, is in his mid 70's at this point)
So I suck it up. Drop my maintenance where it's at, grab my tools and boogie town. Between jobs I check my Facebook, my post has 70 replies. General concensus from nurses, to medical students, to marines, to concerned friends: your appendix is wonky, get to a hospital ASAP.
It's only 1030/11am at this point.
My pain is at an 8
I get to the TV station, fuck, low on refrigerant, but I hear a hiss, it's leak is so large I can hear it while running. Turn the unit off and start searching.
2 hours later, I still haven't found it, there's only 2 more places it could be.
I'm doubled over in pain, sweating in November, in a short sleeve shirt.
My pain is at a 9
I can't get to the last 2 joints I need to check in any way, except going through the fan hole. Which means I have to flop my belly on the unit and hang upside down in the unit to diagnose and or repair. *fuck*
I call the boss. Look man, I'm a fortune cookie, I've found one of the 2 joints that's leaking. Get the other guy back here.
Nope. He can't get there in time. You've got 2-3 hours, max, then their equipment starts overheating and melting.
I want triple pay. I need the ER, my appendix is gonna burst.
You can do your fucking job, or I'll find someone to do it for you.
*fuck it*
I hang up. I flop on the unit. I reach down and surprisingly putting pressure against my abdomen makes it hurt a little less.
I find the leak. It's in a liquid line tee, the pipe vibrates, its small 3/8 in diameter. It's rubbed on the bottom side, on a screw. Can't fix it. Need a new one.
I set the vac, get the torch ready. *shit* I don't have any tees.
I get in the truck, and drive 30 min each way to a supply house. I'm fielding phone calls from my friends now, people are worried. I'm not at the hospital yet.
My pain is at a 9
I get the tee. I get back to the job. I flop on the unit. And it happens.
I feel like a rubber band popped in my stomach. A flash of utterly blinding pain. I scream. And then it subsides.
My pain drops to maybe a 6.5
Yup. My appendix just ruptured.
So I cut the old tee out, slam the new tee in. Braze it on. Pressure test. The weld won't hold.
I flop up there again. Rebraze it. 3 times.
This last time there's so much brazing material on the pipe it's gonna hold.
I'm pouring sweat. I'm hobbled in pain. I have no sense of time. I put it on vac. Which should take an hour. I limp inside, 3 degrees til the equipment fails. It's 122 deg F in this room, the fans are wreaking on the equipment, the TV station guy is freaking out.
My pain has ratcheted up to a 9, again.
It's 4pm. It's been 5 hours of mind bending pain. I look down, my stomach is starting to swell out.
I rush the evacuation, slam refrigerant in the unit, run back inside to turn it all on. 1 degree left til they shut down equipment.
I turn it on.
Sweet victory. Unit comes on. Temps start dropping within 5 minutes.
It's 5pm.
I call the boss.
It's fixes but I need the ER NOW. My appendix burst, my body is swelling, I can barely think or drive.
Great good job, he says, now go cry to the doctor, we'll see you tomorrow.
I pack my tools. It's hundreds of pounds of gear. It's rush hour. I can't think straight. I'm in utter agony. I navigate yo a hospital with an ER and surgical facilities. It's 8 miles.
Rush hour. In DC. Mid beltway construction.
I call the hospital to give them a head up, I'm coming in, my symptoms, insurance, and likely prognosis. They're freaked out, that I'm driving.
My pain is a 10
2 hours later I stumble into the ER. It's 7pm two days before Thanksgiving.
Within 15 minutes I'm on the table, headed in for emergency surgery, trying to crack jokes with the anesthetist.
It goes black and then I start waking up. There's people. Bright lights, voices. Searing pain in my belly. Like someone's cutting into me.
*doh* they forgot im a redhead it's extra anesthesia.
I hear them start panicking as I'm groaning. The air tastes funny and I'm out.
I wake up, hours later, in the recovery room.
Yup my appendix burst into my abdominal cavity, I was starting to go septic. It took them awhile to vacuum me out.
Fun fact, they didn't, 2 weeks later I went to work for a day, and then went to the hospital for 5 days in septic shock, because they'd missed some stuff.
I ended up with a month of paid vacation from the boss. A picc line scar on my arm, and a permanent distention of my abdominal wall.
TIFU:
Working for a shitty boss and nearly dying at work
Eating bad sushi and thinking it wasn't my appendix
Working until my appendix burst
Pick one
TL;DR: thought I had bad sushi, but my appendix burst instead
Comparisons:
Feeling your appendix burst hurts way more than a kidney stone.
They're different types of pain. The kidney stones hurt almost the same as when the appendix gets inflamed.
Kidney stone pain radiates up your entire side of the body, appendix pain is very localized.
Feeling glass slide down your shaft as you pass the kidney stones hurts, but in a different way.
Comparing the two: I'd say the appendix hurt more, but I got the stones out quick enough and started treatment as soon as I felt any discomfort, and I think that's why my kidney stones were dealt with in a few days.
RudeSprinkles1240: People think kidney stones hurt the worst, but they really don't. They hurt a lot, but not the worst. For me, shingles hurt the worst. I got it back in the summer of 2020, and thought I could knuckle through it because I didn't want to go to the hospital and get covid.
I had square yards of blistery skin on my side and I was nearly delirious with pain. It just kept getting worse, like being on fire and stabbed with a big knife at the same time. I imagine a burst appendix might be worse, though.
DonTeca35: Actually Gallstones are far worst than the appendix & kidney stones
| 3 | 20 | |
1662139775 | 1662240044 | t3_x47e6k | t5_2to41 | 1,249 | Beautiful-Guidance95: TIFU by showing my family a viral tiktok of some dude smashing his GF of 2 years to the song cbat, and now my mom and sister showed me their songs.
I was on tiktok and one of the Reddit bot accounts came up with a viral story involving Cbat. Thinking it was funny I showed it to my mom and sister thinking that it would get a laugh, well I fucked up. My sister proceeded to tell me about her friend whose friend has sexy time to Pumped up kicks. Shocked at this we had a discussion of how fucked up it was before my mother chimed in with that she used to get her rocks off to Marvin Gaye’s “You sure love to ball”. People when I tell you I was scarred by the songs intro, I was scarred! I just looked at her like she was crazy before she changed it to another song by Barry White “Practice what you preach” and she started to dance. It was then my sister asked was this the song OP was conceived to? My mom’s face went white and I screamed and left the room. Some things are best not known!
TL;DR
Showed family viral tiktok ended up finding out song I was conceived to
eduddab21: Does someone have the link to the OG video?
Over-Remove: Here. Enjoy 😂 I laughed/cried half a day. The comments are also golden.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Ugly-Turkish-dude: THST SONG? HE FUCKED HER WITH THAT SONG PLAYING??????? She deserves a medal.
Over-Remove: Yea, she must really really love him 😂😭 I am really curious to hear the whole playlist now 😀 can you imagine?
Ugly-Turkish-dude: I have a feeling there is loyal by chris Brown somewhere in there
Over-Remove: I was thinking Sandstorm maybe 😀
| 7 | 178.428571 | |
1662139951 | 1662228051 | t3_x47gw9 | t5_2to41 | 90 | Decksman: TIFU by bringing edibles into school and ending up in a group home for 5 months
Way back in the day of late March, 2022, I felt that my life was finally coming together. I had been in foster care for about 8 months at that point, and I had settled down in a foster home near the ocean. I just turned 17, I had a job, I got my DMV ID, and I was going to school. Life was good. I earned my first paycheck around March 20th, and being the cannabis enthusiast that I am, I had decided to go to the shop and purchase some cannabis related items. One of these being a pack of about 25 (5 or so mg) Delta 10 edible gummies.
The next day, I decided it might be a good idea to share a few with some close friends of mine, and other people who I knew were enjoyers of cannabis like me. Out of the 25 I had, I gave away around 7, and had eaten something along the lines of 3 gummies that morning. Later on that same day, I saw one of the people I had given them away to (let's call him "Gilmore") get taken to the office by the school administration. I immediately had a bad feeling that his high ass would say something pertaining to me, so I acted quickly.
I talked to a couple friends about what I should do. My choices were:
1). Flush the gummies
or
2). Eat them all
Of course, I wasn't going to let the hard earned money I spent on these go to waste, so I gave my other friend (let's call him "Toby") 2 of them, and I, myself ate the other 13. I went to lunch after that class was over, and then they began to kick in. Lunch was great, to say the least. Then, I went to my next class. I fell asleep during the most of that class, and then, the moment that would change my fate for the next half a year (or more) happened. I woke up surrounded by the administration, which seemed to have a golden aura around them, asking me to come to the office. I was visibly high as hell, so there was no question as to if I had taken anything that day. Of course, they asked anyway (I said no).
They searched me, found nothing, and THEN they decided to report the situation to social services even though they had no physical evidence. They sent me back to class, I rode the bus home later, and I didn't think much of the situation until later that day. I got back home, and my foster parents already knew what happened. They weren't very strict on these sorts of things, so we had a good laugh, until suddenly, a cop car appeared on the other side of the street. I had been sitting on the porch, so I was already outside (still visibly very high) when the officer approached the home.
He said he needed to search my room, he didn't really know why, all he knew was that an officer was requested to search my room by social services. And that he did. He ended up finding a good bit of cannabis paraphernalia, which he confiscated. My foster parents were usually fine with me smoking weed, but now that social services knew I was keeping things in their house, they sent in a 2 weeks notice. Long story short, Social Services couldn't find another foster home in my state, and they sent me to a group home on a farm in the middle of nowhere in which I am currently still residing. All because of some edibles.
TL;DR I brought some edibles to school earlier this year, someone snitched, one thing lead to another, and I got sent to a farm in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Moral of the story is, Don't bring cannabis products on to school property, or else
banghi: How do you go to a shop and purchase at 17?
Decksman: There was a certain shop that didn't ID that I had went to often in the area I lived in (difficult to find, but actually a lot more common than you may think)
First_Needleworker: I mean, your 17 so why would you think of this, but you risked that business a lot by purchasing from them.
That's a possible felony for every employee that you purchased from, and that shop can be shut down, which means every employee no longer makes a paycheck.
Not only that, if anyone on Reddit connects you to that town, they can now make a huge scene and broadcast everywhere about them selling to minors.
Weed still isn't Federally recognized, and there's a lot of politicians that would love to accuse dems of giving kids weed.
PinkTaco04: This is a kid. If a dispensary or head shop sells them something, then that’s on them.
Kids gonna be kids.
Repulsive-Ad-8546: thank you, someone with a brain. I cannot believe someone would get upset with the child and not the business that is breaking the law to make some more money.
| 6 | 15 | |
1662142104 | 1662305659 | t3_x48boe | t5_2to41 | 366 | magic_mouse1928: tifu by totaling my new car
so I (16f) had been saving up money for four years before I finally convinced my parents to let me buy myself a car. found a great deal, a ford escape for just $4750. bought it.
skip ahead a month, i love this car. it is my most prized possession.
until this morning.
I was driving to school when I came up on an intersection. I reached to turn on the AC and freezing cold white stuff came out of the vents (probably just frozen condensation from the AC), so I looked down, startled. In that second of looking down, the light turned yellow and the car in front of me (their car was completely past the white line and in the intersection, mind you) either slowed quickly or braked hard. i look up and it’s already too late, I slam into the back of their car.
I have cried all day mourning this car. my freedom, my life savings, gone. Now I have no money and no car. this was going to be my car through college and probably beginning adulthood.
seriously fml.
tl;dr: i bought my car a month ago, then totaled it on my way to school and am now broke and no longer independent
Ok_Matter_1437: No insurance?
magic_mouse1928: liability insurance, so don’t have to worry about that. but that doesn’t cover my car at all
jonbush1234: Life lessen. Never have just liability. Insure the car properly and spend the extra few bucks.
Kichan25: A car over 3k just get the full coverage
Momentarmknm: That would probably be like $300/mo more than liability for a 16 year old driver. Just stick that savings somewhere and if the car does get wrecked you've got the money to replace in kind in less than a year.
Kichan25: 300 a month? That seems a little absurd maybe 5 to 700 more per year
Momentarmknm: It can depend where you live, but full coverage for a teenage driver is gonna be sky high
Kichan25: Yeah but 300 a month is coverage for baby driver lol
| 9 | 40.666667 | |
1662141373 | 1662175825 | t3_x480xl | t5_2to41 | 363 | ChelsLikesGames: TIFU by Accidentally Throwing Away my Community Service Evidence
I am currently a senior in highschool. The actual FU occurred in late August, but the realization that I did what I did happened yesterday.
Where I live, I need 20 hours of community service to graduate. I had about 8 hours done so far, sounds great, right? Almost halfway there! For community service to count towards my graduation requirement, I needed to fill out a few sheets of paper. Just things that can verify I actually did the stuff, like where I did it and what did did learn from it. The most important thing on those sheets are the signatures I had to get. I had 4 sheets of paper so far, 2 of them had 1 hour each, 1 had 2.5 hours, and the last one had 4 hours on it. I've been holding onto some of these sheets since the summer after 8th grade when I could start working towards the requirement. I decided that I was gonna turn these papers in this year, since they need to be turned in before I graduate. I put them in an old folder from last year's school year and put the folder in my backpack, thinking "I won't need to remember where I put it if it's by my school stuff."
Here's the FU, my parents bought me some new school supplies I the middle of August, including new folders. I decided that I don't need the crappy yellow folder in my backpack anymore since I have new ones now. I threw that folder into the garbage without checking if anything important was inside it. I didn't realize at the time, but I had just lost 6 hours of community service the moment my parents took the garbage out.
Cut to yesterday. I was catching up with an old friend and I had a counselor meeting to go to about community service. We started talking about community service and I remembered I have my slips in my backpack. Or so I thought. I look for the old yellow folder and it's nowhere to be seen. I soon realize I tossed it out weeks ago and that there was no saving those hours I lost.
Tl;dr: I got new school supplies and didn't check what was in my folder before throwing it away. Lost 6 hours of Community Service towards my graduation requirement.
Edit: Thank you to everyone who is giving me advice! I know this isn't a traditional major FU, but it was a FU nonetheless. I'm currently searching for opportunities and will check in at all the types of places you guys recommended!
Knitemar: Wow you're crying for nothing... In the schools I was I had to do 480 hours to graduate high school and 480 hours to graduate college... 20 is less than 5% of that...
HippieLex: “YoU’re cRying foR noThinG!”
Don’t be an ass about it! Good for you that you had to do 480 hours! But this isn’t about YOU! If you’re upset that you had to do 480 hours, go vent or some shit, don’t drag someone else down.
Knitemar: well, from the moment he post it, till now we are still arguing about this, he would have half of those 20 hours done almost...
HippieLex: Who cares when they get it done! Point is you’re making yourself look like an ass by dragging someone else down.
Knitemar: He does! He needs that to graduate!! thats the point! if its this important, just get the 20 hours done... In other news, I may be exactly that, just an ass.
HippieLex: It’s not YOUR concern when they get it done, it WILL be done, but it’s not your problem nor concern for when it gets done.
I’m glad you can admit you’re an ass, hopefully you can heal and grow into a better being, be more open-minded and understanding.
Knitemar: You know, when people come to TIFU, they make their problems everyone\`s concerns. There is people who give advice, people who will laugh, and people who will disregard it as not that big of a TIFU. So the OP made it "our" concern the moment he posted it... Im sorry to open your eyes, but this is how internet works. If you really hope you will find only kind words or opinions same as yours, i have bad news for you...
HippieLex: Don’t worry I understand negativity, you’re currently being apart of balance of good and bad, in this situation the bad.
I also understand the internet won’t be perfect, but it’s sometimes fun to argue with random strangers that I will never know, see, or really care for.
This chick is my best friend in real life, so naturally I defended her, she doesn’t care for your comment, and we both know this world is full of assholes. We both also know and you probably know that this conversation doesn’t matter one bit and we will simply carry on with our lives while gaining nothing from this!
To conclude, hope you have a wonderful day/days! :)
| 9 | 40.333333 | |
1662141765 | 1662268290 | t3_x486tn | t5_2to41 | 71 | Chre_Mah_onYT: TIFU I received my order online
I'm a working student, I'm currently in my last year of graduate school (not specifying the degree). I'm on and off school because financial difficulties and I can't afford school if I won't work. After grad school we have to take qualifying exams to practice as professionals
I'm into taking notes but since time is not in my side, I opt to utilize my tech gadgets to my study. However, there is an urge for me to get slightly lighter than the laptop but have a bigger screen than my phone - a tablet.
My socials' feed always show me how useful an ipad is in studying, that i cannot afford. I've been eyeing that since, even looking for 2nd hand ones, still can't afford one.
Online shops in our area usually gives credit to users and gives higher credit limit when used frequently. I saw a video on YT about a tablet, so I checked the price online. It so happen that there was an ongoing sale, and you probably know what came next, I checked out a PHONE payable for 6 months
OMG WHAT WAS I THINKING? I want a tablet cause I need a bigger screen than my phone but lighter than my laptop, since I'm a working student I have to be wise in spending my money but look what happened
I bought one that was released last year it was 5k cheaper than when it was first released. I have camera issues with my current phone but it doesn't affect my school/career. I sometimes just want to have good photos to post. I'm just reasoning and justifying this
My best friend and fiance both scolded me about it. My best friend advised me to just cancel the order, but when I realized that, it was too late, the order has been processed
TL:DR 3 days after that check out, I received the phone. I'm happy I got a new phone, now I can post better photos but still, I need a bigger screen for study (omg it really should have been a tablet). There's no return policy in our area so I have to use it. I will probably sell the older one but for now I might use it for school until i fully paid this phone so I can get a tablet for real
lkso: You need to improve your writing skills. Half of your post is irrelevant information and your conclusion is confusing.
Here's your TL;DR: Was looking to buy a tablet but ended up buying a phone with a bigger screen instead of a tablet.
gimmemoarjosh: Here is a thought; English is probably not their first language.
I, also, understood everything just fine.
Touch some grass, buddy.
lkso: You think I was flaming? I was giving very helpful advice. Only a fool would interpret my reply as anything but helpful.
Even if English isn't first language (which doesn't appear to be the case), it doesn't excuse the fact that half the post includes irrelevant info.
Pull your mom's dick out of ur ass, buddy.
gimmemoarjosh: You clearly have issues, dude. I'm not qualified to help you. Even if I was, it is way above my pay grade.
Enjoy the day you deserve. Byeee!
P.S. If you could read, he was talking about PH Pesos, indicating that he is, in fact, from the Philippines. Tagalog is probably his first language, genius.
lkso: You're saying ppl who speak tagalog can't formulate coherent ideas. That has nothing to do with the language a person speaks, genius.
gimmemoarjosh: That's exactly what I said. Yep. 100%.
Again, please touch some grass. You're very angry over nothing, my dude. Chill.
lkso: Wow! So it's specific to Tagalog whereas those whose native language is German don't suffer from lack of coherent ideas. I didn't know Philipino's were stupid! Thanks for letting me know! Now I know I wouldn't be able to have coherent conversations with Philipinos so I'll just avoid talking to them from now on. Thanks! Most useful Reddit post I've ever read!
jewfrobroski: It's really funny to read your comments getting bent out of shape about someone's writing skills while repeatedly misspelling [filipino](http://www.hawaii.edu/cps/filipino.html#:~:text=Filipino%20is%20the%20Hispanized%20(or,that%20doesn't%20sound%20right.)
lkso: I've lived around a bunch of philipinos. How it's spelled ain't that big a deal. All are acceptable.
It's also really interesting that most ppl aren't interested in helping the OP but are more interested in bashing the person helping OP. That's not amusing, that's just sad that ppl are like that.
| 10 | 7.1 | |
1662146542 | 1662151918 | t3_x4a2ob | t5_2to41 | 343 | [deleted]: TIFU by Ejaculating in my Girlfriend in Front of her Dad
[removed]
Due-Profession-3563: More like the dad needed to make this post!
TIFU: I was dominated in my own house by my daughter's BF....
GarfunkleJizz: Dominated? yeah sorry but that’s such a weird way to describe the guy who’s getting with your daughter. More like “I got embarrassed by walking in on my kid having sex”
That_Fooz_Guy: Nah, "Dominated" is fitting wether it was intentional or not lmfao
GarfunkleJizz: so fucking weird dude😂😂
That_Fooz_Guy: Weird? Yes.
Hilarious? Also Yes.
Edit: Admittedly/Obviously, I'd be naturally mortified if I was OP's position 😂
| 6 | 57.166667 | |
1662146974 | 1662147314 | t3_x4a8k7 | t5_2to41 | 23 | infinleyty: TIFU/ today i (f18) messed up by accidentally calling my teacher (m 50 or something) daddy
For context: this was in 7th grade, I was so into wattpad stories to that time so I read many daddykink related things as well.
The past days I had read a story called bonjour, it had smut and daddykink in it, and I absolutely was into that, I could only think of the character, Mr. Jeon (this is not a bts story, the teacher's name was just Mr. Jeon in the story). He hasn't left my mind at all, I was so into this book character.
(the reason I read these type of things when I was that young is because I grew up really fast and my sister introduced me to it, I have a bit of a crazy family, i should write more context to this as you would only understand when I talk about the whole thing but that's not what I fucked up about)
I have adhd so I've always been a huge daydreamer, I always imagine myself being in another surrounding no matter where I am and I do it vividly too. We were having lunch break and I took out my phone, instantly clicked on wattpad and kept reading. I was so invested and I got really sad when the bell rang and we had to sit down. The book character Mr. Jeon, that I was so attracted to was a really assertive and dominant character, the daddykink might make it up. And so was my teacher except for he wasn't hot. My teacher had scolded me for not opening my book on time, he was crazy with his rules.
So I rolled my eyes and said "yes daddy"
I slapped my hand to my mouth and muffled a scream while the whole class laughed at me and made a wave of "ooh~s"
I did not expect that to come out of my mouth, like at all. I had Mr. Jeon in mind all the time so I was obviously reffering to him but my teacher just looked at me with wide eyes. He was a middle school teacher so obviously he turned it innocent and said "im not your dad finley!".
I was too embarrassed, actually one time in math class I even accidently wrote Mr. Jeon into my book instead of the math calculation. Ngl I still think Mr. Jeon is really hot.
I'm terribly embarrassed about this event but I have changed schools so I won't have to see him ever again.
TL;DR: i (f18) read a kinky wattpad story and was thinking of the book character a lot and accidently called my teacher (m 50 or something) daddy because the character was in my mind so much.
prettyupsidedown: I would’ve dropped out of school and never shown my face again if I did that Lmao
infinleyty: honestly it wasnt that bad since my teacher played it off with the "im not your dad" baha. but like i said i luckily have moved schoolsss but we're still in the same city😭
prettyupsidedown: LMAO i mean I guess students do call their teachers mom and dad on accident, it does happen
infinleyty: YEAHH reading other stories made me feel less embarrassed about it👏🏻
| 5 | 4.6 | |
1662147101 | 1662148690 | t3_x4aaez | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU / My (20F) girlfriend of two years told me the music that I (25M) play during sex is weird and a major turn off
[deleted]
booksandmints: You could’ve at least attempted to be original.
ElectraShart: that's the joke
Devittraisedto2: The joke is you stole someone else's post in an attempt to gain internet points?
People are laughing alright, laughing at _you_
snake_case_steve: „It‘s just a joke, bro!“
| 5 | 0.4 | |
1662147184 | 1662195884 | t3_x4ablh | t5_2to41 | 28 | Vegan-Sloth: TIFU when I was high af giving an interview
tldr: Me and my boyfriend smoked some weed and were interviewed for TV right after.
So today my boyfriend and me were on a convention. We wanted to smoke some weed so we searched for a quiet area and did it. Directly after we stood in the middle of a place when I saw this reporter for a satire show in germany. As I saw him I said his name out quite loud talking to my boyfriend and he turned around looking at us. I then heard him saying to the camera man saying something like: "...those potheads over there...?" (Apparently it was obvious that we smoked something before). We wanted to make a photo but the reporter wanted to make an interview with us before. I was vey shy and didn't want to do it in the first place (especially because he already said something about potheads so yeah...) but my boyfriend was grinning at me saying: "You don't want to leave me alone here, right?". So there we were... high in front of a camera. The reporter asked some very confusing questions with word games etc. and we looked dumb or high as fuck. He also asked some questions that were energy related and I was stuttering answers which is completely embarrasing because I'm an engineer specialised on energy. Since the interview is over me and my boyfriend are shifting between hoping that we can see ourselves in TV in a few days and being scared of the same thing. I just hope that it won't be too bad because I work for public service and my boss wouldn't be too happy to see me obviously baked af.
StarGazerLily23: Seems to me like you make bad decisions in public areas. I’d change one of those if I were you.
Heininger: Not sure if you are getting the point of this sub. OP should surely be aware of their misbehavior when they are posting in TIFU.
StarGazerLily23: When people fuck up they need to learn from it and adjust behaviour appropriately, since it happened more than once, they’re not.
Vegan-Sloth: When did I say that it happened more than once?
StarGazerLily23: Sorry, I read the tldr as being part of the story instead of a summary, my bad.
| 6 | 4.666667 | |
1662147681 | 1662155195 | t3_x4aii1 | t5_2to41 | 30 | veryverycreative: TIFU by getting intimate with someone too soon.
I had been talking with someone long distance for over half a year. Over that time, we slowly opened up to one another, and we were both happy to not rush into things, though we have gotten to talk about racier things.
After talking with one another for such a while, we finally organised to meet one another. All was well. One evening, we decided to have a small drink of wine with dinner. Unexpectedly, I had gotten more drunk than I had anticipated. It had made me flirty & excited, and it led to us getting a little too intimate, which was mostly just kissing and touching.
Things felt a little off afterwards, and just when it was time to go home. They had said how things felt too fast, and they seem very distant. We are back to long distance messaging, but they reply less and less frequently.
I do regret what happened. Drunk me thought it was alright, given the mood, and the comfort I felt from the explicit things we had talked about previously.
I have heard that some people just need a bit of space after such things, but I can't help but feel that they have lost interest in me. I am an understanding person, but I am the type to need attention to feel validated, but I don't know how to communicate it. Oddly enough, it feels early, somehow. I feel I may have ended things for us.
Mostly wrote this to vent, but advice is also welcome...
TL;DR: Messed up by getting intimate with someone too soon, now I feel terrible in many ways.
quiettryit: Have you asked them what has changed or what is wrong?
veryverycreative: Yes. They said they felt things were going too fast. But that they understood my behaviour.
quiettryit: Are they religious?
veryverycreative: No, but they were willing to wait until marriage, or so they said.
Haven1820: Ah, so all of the disadvantages with none of the justification.
| 6 | 5 | |
1662147725 | 1662159921 | t3_x4aj5v | t5_2to41 | 7 | fatbussy777: TIFU by coincidentally “manifesting” my friends onee dislocate
[removed]
Parzival1127: You are too old to be kicking people down a flight of stairs because they don't want to be friends with you.
fatbussy777: it was funny seeing them bounce down the stairs 😇
Parzival1127: Wow so edgy.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1662149746 | 1662169949 | t3_x4bas3 | t5_2to41 | 4 | Brokenhumor666: TIFU by browntowning the shower
TW: poopie and peepee
The last 6 minutes have been absolute chaos and now I’m sitting in my clogged toilet.
Ok so I’m a college student and I probably have ibs and I take hella man shits.
I clogged my poor toilet 2wice in the last 2 weeks of moving here.
It got so bad to the point that the one snake plunger we had is in the shower and I’m trying to wash it. No results. It’s horrible.
I really really needed to do no1 so I was like great, the shower has a drain and I have running water.
I’m standing there on the ledges of my 2005 bath and start doing whatever nature wanted me to do. And boy did I do it.
I’m so close to a mental breakdown and my bf saw EVERYTHING. Even the trick shots.
TL;DR: I tried tinkling in the shower cause my toilet is clogged and some things just need to come out.
AcrobaticSource3: That’s why I try to use public toilets as much as possible...”drop the deuce then dip” is my motto
Brokenhumor666: Amen
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1662149916 | 1662170564 | t3_x4bd29 | t5_2to41 | 3,971 | embarassingman72: TIFU by getting into bed with my father in law
[removed]
twohedwlf: not sure how to bring it up with him?
I suspect he'll mercilessly ridicule you about it. No action needed on your part.
Dontdothatfucker: I hope he walks out of the bedroom with a big smile, stretches, asks how everybody slept, and goes straight for the coffee. Just let OP stew in the tension all morning. Then bring up sleeping together nonchalantly at about noon
twohedwlf: Walks out of the bedroom, kisses OP on the cheek and pats his butt, not saying a word.
Coalmen: Holy shit, if I was the father in-law, this. Just this.
RedSh1r7: OP should make the first move, assert dominance!
Coalmen: He did already start by being Big Spoon.
tossaway78701: Just come from behind, cup one cheek and whisper "I prefer to be the big spoon".
| 8 | 496.375 | |
1662152562 | 1662153669 | t3_x4cdun | t5_2to41 | 10 | throwawayfudriving: TIFU by having an anger episode while driving
so the day was all well and as usually, at night I \[26M\] had to pick up something from a friends house, and invited my siblings \[14F\] and \[21M\] for a ride, I had music on max with a hard beating song as always and wanted to have a good time with my siblings, I was eating sunflower seeds with one hand and driving with the other, i don't think i was reckless because that's totally manageable and my eyes were on the road at all times, on the way my sister reached out to the front and took away my phone and turned the songs off, then my brother took away the sunflowers from me after a couple minutes, i turn on the radio on medium vol., I get the thing from friends house and on the way back home My sister wanted some instant noodles and she's underweight her BMI is 15-17, and I told her no and told her she has to have protein instead, she refused and took away the money (we had one money pouch by the 3 of us, but ultimately it's her own money and mine is my own money) and said if I don't have what I want, none of you will either, after little negotiation i told her okay you can have your instant noodles if you eat eggs with them, she refused, the car was stopped front of a supermarket on a submain road, i went out of the car to forcefully take the money from her, and she locked all the doors and started recording me and laughing at me, and it enraged me like no other, I felt like I am being bullied and humiliated and I couldn't take that, after couple minutes my brother wanted to unlock it (he's very passive) she tried to prevent him but he did it despite of her, so i got into the car with very angrily and told her to give me the money, she sassily refused, and i said fine i will show you, THE FUCK UP starts here: i accelerated very fast and then made a sudden stop, it didn't budge them, so i accelerated again and made a sudden turn and a car behind me almost crashed into my driver side, then I climbed on the road shoulder and someone was walking 10-20 feet away from where i was on the shoulder and I could've hit them then drove back home and stopped a few houses away from home and asked them to get off and walk home, in my mind it was sort of like a punishment for them to walk (my father used to do this to us), and also for me to wait and reflect on my fuck up but didn't wait much and drove back home while and they saw me getting home with the car (my own car)
this was like half an hour ago
I know I am a horrible person
my father used to do this to us when i was a child and I hated him for it and hardly ever rode in the car with him, and now I am turning to become like him and I hate myself for it, I know i am at wrong
I want to be my sisters friend and pal, but also want to be seen as a leader and not be disrespected
I don't know what to do
I was supposed to save my sister from my father but I am turning out just like him
just to clarify I don't financially or anyhow support my siblings
TL;DR: I almost caused a car accident and lethally endangered a walker by for a petty power play in a driving anger episode of mine
AquaticMango18: When you feel yourself getting angry, quickly take two sharp inhales through your nose until your lungs are completely inflated. Exhale slowly.
Repeat this until you feel your shoulders loosen accompanied by a little lightheadedness. It’s better to breathe before reacting.
Also, be careful next time.
throwawayfudriving: what do you thing I could do to make amends with my siblings?
AquaticMango18: Start with giving a sincere apology. A “sorry about what happened.” Will not cut it. Admit to them that you almost put them and someone else in a life threatening situation. Admit that you acted recklessly and that you want to make things right.
After admitting your fault, ask for their forgiveness but do not be surprised if they won’t give it to you. From that point, you MUST show through your actions that you’ve become a better person for it.
As an older sibling, you carry an innate responsibility of being a role model to your younger siblings. It’s a heavy responsibility that you didn’t ask for, but carry nonetheless. Good luck.
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1662153772 | 1662212789 | t3_x4cuyt | t5_2to41 | 17 | Mil3s-Away: TIFU by taking revenge on my brother too far
**Note this story is not from today**
My name is Miles. I live in a family of 8 where all of my 5 siblings are brothers. In age order, there’s Milo, then me (we’re twins, both 15), then Max (13), Alex (10), Tom (8) and Spencer (6). This story revolves around Max.
I am obsessed with music and have a collection of vinyl records. They’re like my children, and I spent loads of my own money on them. At night I play them in my room before I go to sleep (while reading etc:) and I make sure they aren’t crazy loud. But I guess one day a few months ago I had them on a bit too loud.
The next day I did some homework downstairs and came up to my room to find Max, unloading into 10 of my records with some scissors. One I got him to stop and got him out of my room, I sat there and sobbed quietly for a minute. I’ll admit, I was devastated by it.
But then I got angry. Max spends 95% of his time in his room playing videogames, and all of his videogames were on discs. So I waited until one day, he went out with his friends for a few hours, and when he left I snuck into his room. I grabbed 8 discs, including the ones I knew he liked most, and snapped them in half. I wrote a note next to them that said **an eye for an eye Max** and waited in my room
When he got back he was really pissed at first, but then a few hours later he came into my room in tears, apologised and said he’d never do it again. And I had a massive wave of guilt, so I apologised too and bought him the videogames back.
TL;DR - Brother broke some of my records so I broke some of his videogames. I had a wave of guilt and bought him them back
ChocoCinnaBears: If I had ever taken revenge on my brother like that... he seriously would have beaten me to death. I'm not even kidding. Even small, insignificant slights I DID cause ended up with small to medium level medical issues.
You're a good brother 😁
Mil3s-Away: I definitely didn’t feel like it at the time
| 3 | 5.666667 | |
1662154321 | 1662160602 | t3_x4d2d6 | t5_2to41 | 14 | promizsd: TIFU by asking a girl at the bar if she wanted to fuck
[removed]
ariphron: If she said yes it would have turned into a completely different tifu but still tifu trust me!
volks03: “TIFU by hooking up with a complete stranger and getting herpes”
ariphron: At the least
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1662155655 | 1662163164 | t3_x4dkn9 | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by not giving my gf space after she asked to take a break. If you read it all good on you. I know there’s a lot going on…
[deleted]
robertgunt: Do not contact her at all, for anything, no matter what. In my experience, most people who say they need a break or time to themselves have already basically decided they want to break up. If you give her space, she might miss you, realize the value of your relationship and change her mind. If you repeatedly don't give her the space she requested, she'll see you as disrespecting her boundaries and will probably never come back.
cman3030: Realized this 2 weeks too late now… i thought i could save it by showing her what i should’ve been doing this whole time (coffee before work, flowers)… instead i just pushed her farther and farther by not giving her the one thing she asked for
robertgunt: I'm sure a few moments of weakness won't be a total dealbreaker if she's really thinking about things. Just try to avoid contacting her going forward.
Have you ever watched the movie Swingers? I've found it to be good therapy for this sort of situation.
https://youtu.be/4edbm4AMR-0
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1662156422 | 1662158499 | t3_x4dv6t | t5_2to41 | 78 | Medical_Mix6379: TIFU by not telling a girl about my feelings
So i met this girl few years ago and we clicked directly, i don't know how to explain it but he had something special. It was in the summer and we met through our dads, they were related somehow.
We became close quickly and started hanging out all the time, like literally all the time. If i wake up before her i'd go wake her up, and if she wakes up before me she'd do the same and we'd stay all day long hanging out doing whatever. We didn't get bored of each others or anything we'd do whatever we wanted together.
Anyways, days goes by and i start catching feelings for her, i was really attracted to her, i wouldn't say she is "hot hot" but she was kinda my type. We had the same mindset, we loved trouble and messing around and trolling everyone. We had the same age too.
I didn't mention anything about how i felt about her cause she was giving me mixed signals and u didn't want to get rejected, i was kinda scared of that. I hate being rejected, i mean who doesn't. Anyways she left for school and we kept in touch, until one day she told me she have a boyfriend. I felt disappointed and so devastated. If i wasn't so scared to just make one move we could've been together.
The worse part is that we became best friends so she was telling everything about him in details. And i had to listen while trying to get over her. It was a pain in the ass but yeah.
For everyone who's scared of making a move out there, just take your chances. It's a 50/50 chance. Not talking about them would be worse than being rejected, trust me.
TL;DR
imyourzer0: >We met through our dads, they were related somehow.
Roll tide.
whin100: I just looked up what this means and I laughed
Medical_Mix6379: Uh... explain lol
whin100: It’s a rally cry that Alabama Crimson Tide fans yell at their football games 💀
Medical_Mix6379: Okay..
whin100: Okay well if you don’t get it now then I don’t think you’ll ever get it tbh
Medical_Mix6379: I do i do now...
| 8 | 9.75 | |
1662158386 | 1662164838 | t3_x4elv7 | t5_2to41 | 3 | Wuz314159: TIFU by getting banned from imgur for saying: Reba McEntire
[removed]
Business_Mudkip: ayo what imgur have against our girl reba ? 🤨
Wuz314159: It seems as if I am being punished for the photo posted. because the photo was banned, my comment, by association, is now bannable.
| 3 | 1 | |
1662158835 | 1662159055 | t3_x4erwi | t5_2to41 | -25 | Coochiflap89: TIFU by wasting me and my friends time on story’s only for them to get removed and I’m not sure what to do now 😣
[removed]
Coochiflap89: dam this a nice post right her e
Coochiflap89: Ik
| 3 | -8.333333 | |
1662158719 | 1662267031 | t3_x4eqcz | t5_2to41 | 6 | Aspxr: TIFU by not knowing when to stop talking.
Was surfing at a nude beach. Got naked; my dong was dangling. Noticed a cute girl looking at me. Staring, even. I guess surfing made me look good. She was topless and was tatted up. Perfect boobs. She may as well have been bottomless with the amount of ass she had. A young man’s day dream. Talked to her in the water. Later came up to her and gave her my number. She was into it. I was excited. This is when I fucked up: I should have taken the W and walked away.
Then I said I was crazy for enjoying the hike in. Haha—who doesn’t love hearing the person whose number they took is crazy? Then I insinuated that she is crazy for one of her tattoos. I was trying to be funny but ended up insulting her. LOL—who doesn’t love being insulted about permanent body art?? The cringe was palpable in the air. My penis shriveled as I realized my mistake. I wished her a good day.
Completely killed any attraction. Turned my 95% chance at cute nude beach girl to -1000%. I could feel my testosterone levels plummeting.
TL;DR: Had a good thing going with a cutie. Made it awkward in the span of a single sentence. Will not be getting laid.
Cdaly1970: Still got her number? Call her, apologize for acting like an idiot, and explain that you were just so excited about meeting such a beautiful girl you ended up putting both feet in your mouth. Tell her really would like to see her again, and suggest an activity/dinner/drinks/etc. She might say no, but you still might be able to pull out the win.
Aspxr: Unfortunately I didn’t have my phone so I gave her my number lol
Cdaly1970: Maybe she'll call.. 🤞
Aspxr: Update: she never called
Fortunately there’s loads of beautiful women here. No bother
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1662159343 | 1662159704 | t3_x4eyoc | t5_2to41 | 9 | MicrowaveSwaggyness: TIFU by snapping at my friends while playing online.
Ok backstory time, earlier I was playing online with my friends and it was great, I started hearing my parents fighting, not very unusual, but it was worse than normal. My dad was slamming things and I got scared, he started coming upstairs and I decided it would be best to stay silent as he normally snaps at small things like people talking "too loud" when he's mad. My friends started questioning why I wasn't talking and I didn't respond, because he hadn't gone back downstairs yet. One of them started saying shit like, "if you don't talk you like (name)" and stuff and it was pissing me off. I should have just told them that I was trying not to get my ass beaten but I didn't, and I eventually snapped. I said "can you guys just shut the fuck up for once, Jesus." And left the call. I apologised to both of them and one of them is chill about it. The other one however, isn't. I don't blame her by the way, but she goes to my school and, being teenage girls, I figure the first thing she'll do is get the whole group to not speak to me or something. (We're hella petty like that). I'm terrified, I want to sort it out but she didn't really like my apology I'm guessing, as her response was to correct an autocorrect mistake. I really hope we can sort things out before school on Monday.
TL;DR: I snapped at my friends after my parents were fighting and I was scared of my dad. Now I'm scared to go to school on Monday out of fear my friend who didn't accept my apology telling our friend group to cut ties with me.
IndyPoker979: You sound young however if your supposed friends can't put your concerns above their leisure then they're not really friends. You don't owe them an apology. They owe you an apology.
Real friends should recognize fear or anxiety and not downplay it but assist you through it. Secondly I don't know what the arguing was about but being fearful of a parent is not a good way to live. If you can try to talk to someone such as a school counselor or a trusted adult.
DunKnowName: Agreed. No fuck up here. You have a shitty situation to deal with and it sounds like your one friend doesnt understand.
| 3 | 3 | |
1662159327 | 1662232381 | t3_x4eyg7 | t5_2to41 | 261 | srqhe: TIFU by telling a lady in a wheelchair to run upstairs to see a room
This didn’t happen today, but in 2014. I just remembered this and it just hurts me so bad thinking about it.
I was working at a hotel near the train station, so we had walk-ins daily. This particular day our elevator had stopped working and all the trains had stopped running because of a fire in the tracks.
A lady comes in and asks me if we have any handicap rooms available for a person in a wheelchair, and I say sure! She wants to know how wide the doors are, but I don’t really know.
In an attempt to be helpful I tell her that "you can run upstairs real quick to take a look if you like".
She just looked at me the way you look at an idiot trying to be funny and just says "and how do you suppose I run when I can’t even walk?"
I wanted to die that day and I cringe so hard every time I think about this.
Tl;dr: A lady in a weelchair wanted to know how wide the doors in a handicapped room were. I told her she could run upstairs to see the room. Lady savagely responded "and how do you suppose I run when I can’t even walk?”. I died inside.
SuccessfulCandle2182: No worries, in my country „they“ are like normal people and we try to treat them like they are normal. A lot of wheelies get mad here if you don’t treat them like they are not normal. And that’s fine. It’s actually funny ;)
freshstart2k16: On behalf of any other wheelchair-bound Redditor's, please don't ever use the term wheelie to refer to us. LOL
SuccessfulCandle2182: So, you speak also for me? ;)
freshstart2k16: perhaps? LOL
ichfrissdich: Now I'm unsure whether I should call you wheelies
freshstart2k16: not to sound like a douche because I know it does, but call us people
| 7 | 37.285714 | |
1662157061 | 1662167014 | t3_x4e40h | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting someone pull my hair
[deleted]
apexncgeek: How is this a fu?
BiGuyThrowAwayacc: My guy, do you think anyone would like finding out they have a hair pulling kink through their crush making them moan from pulling? I don't think so 😭
apexncgeek: Actually I know a bunch of people who have started dating because of situations like that.
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1662162349 | 1662204904 | t3_x4g2er | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: Tifu I fucked up telling my fetishes to a girl while horny
[deleted]
MonstahButtonz: You fantasize about having an incestual threesone, and verbally abusing women?
I think you're missing where you *actually* F'd Up...
steampunkMechElves: It's a fetish. Relax.
MonstahButtonz: Pedophilia is a fetish for some also. That doesn't mean it isn't disgusting and problematic.
| 4 | 4.75 | |
1662163095 | 1662170632 | t3_x4gblo | t5_2to41 | 78 | Sariluv88: TIFU by getting jalapeño juice in my lady bits.
[removed]
httpsstrvberry: WHAT THE FUCK
httpsstrvberry: THIS PROBABLY HURT SO BAD
Sariluv88: Burned like the 6th level of hell lol.
minimamma80: Gloves ALWAYS GLOVES!
| 5 | 15.6 | |
1662163141 | 1662166502 | t3_x4gc63 | t5_2to41 | 21 | ImAPenisPhotographer: TIFU by accidentally sharing my penis on Facebook.
Well, well, well. Let me tell you that I have made quite the "mistake" a few days ago.
I was chit-chatting on text messages with this girl I matched with on Tinder. Believe me, I have always had bad luck with girls as I come off VERY strong. However, our chat was going well. Everything was going fine and dandy I should tell you. Until, this STUPID bloody thought BUZZED its way into my head...
Blyme, when we began flirting, I got REALLY 'excited'. I thought it would be a good idea for her to see my "courageous" side, and to let her know that I like to have fun. So, I chose to send her a sly photograph of my genitals, hoping she would get my 'lingo', if you know what I mean.
Now, let me just say, my device is pretty wonky and old, and has 'tendencies' to act up and glitch, and I suppose that in this situation, that's EXACTLY what happened.
I sent her the photo, + a comedic caption slapped in. I eagerly waited for her response, grinning ear TO ear. Well, let me tell you, she for whatever reason didn't seem to appreciate the gesture, and began to tell me off in the messages. I was confused, especially since up until then, she was ENJOYING our 'lovey dovey' conversation. She then removed me, and cut ties on the app. Well let me tell you, I was very confused, upset, and disappointed.
Little did I know, a BIGGER problem was on the horizon. A few minutes after my failed attempt at romance, I got BASHED and BOMBARDED with text messages from my friends, all attacking me and expressing disgust. I was confused let me tell you.
I proceeded to read through the text messages, so I could get a gist of what was WRONG. The text messages were all scolding me, and asking why I would find it acceptable to post a photograph, containing my PENIS on Facebook. I was confused, I should tell you. I opened my Facebook profile, and I was greeted to the horrible sight of a picture of my own PENIS, uploaded on to my profile. The same penis picture that I sent to the girl on text messages.
I then came to the horrible realization that in the excitement and glee of sending that photograph to the girl, I must've accidentally shared & UPLOADED it on to FACEBOOK.
Well let me tell you, I began to absolutely panic, sweat dripping from my face. I instantly deleted the post, but by then, it was too late and the damage was already done, and the post was already seen by a lot of people, a lot of them being family.
Everyone on Facebook and in text messages was shunning me, particularly my friends and family. Phone calls from my family were also pouring in, questioning me about the entire situation, to then I explained to the best of my abilities, and then began to write a post to my followers on Facebook, explaining the situation and what had transpired. (Let me remind you, my Facebook is very sizable, containing a large amount of followers, being family & friends...)
I immediately posted to Facebook, in a shitty attempt to save face. People in the comment section were either roaring with laughter, or expressing their disgust for me. Phone calls from my family were also pouring in, questioning me about the entire situation, to then I explained to the best of my abilities, repeating what I said in the post, and a lot of them were still disgusted with me as well as disappointed, that I would even be that much of a stupid moron to even TAKE such a photo.
Seeing my dignity being washed down the DRAIN and my friends seeing me as some sort of creep filled me with embarrassment.
It has been a few days since then, and a lot of my friends have pulled the plug on our friendship, and have started distancing themselves from me.
Who knew that them seeing one picture of my genitals would stir up so much bitter nonsense & trouble?
Let me tell you, I have definitely learned from this incident, and will not be sending any more genital pictures ever again.
TL;DR; Sent a picture of my penis to a girl, and accidentally shared it to Facebook.
Reelplayer: Let me tell you, this STORY "sucked"
AcrobaticSource3: This STORY sucked more than the girl will ever for OP
ImAPenisPhotographer: What do you mean sucked? Like I was an irrational or rude person in this incident?
Reelplayer: I was making fun of your writing style. You used "let me tell you" or "I should tell you" a lot, you capitalized random words you shouldn't have, and you put quotes around random words that didn't need them.
ImAPenisPhotographer: Sorry I am not the best at English.
| 6 | 3.5 | |
1662163155 | 1662173759 | t3_x4gccw | t5_2to41 | 41 | SnowMakesMeWet: TIFU by not knowing my Audience.
Disclaimer : Happened to a co-worker of mine a few years back.. Got his permission to share and story is too good to not share. I'll be posting this for him.
Today I fucked up by not knowing my audience. A Few years back My Wife(F65) and I(M69) were having dinner with some friends. We're both older, but very active and often get confused for people much younger than us. As such over the years we have made many friends "outside our age group". The couple hosting the dinner was much younger and had invited a mother in law over to enjoy the meal. As the wine got flowing so did the stories and being fairly well traveled I began to hold court and share stories of my adventures. Conversation turned to places we've been that have really changed our lives. One of the party goers mentioned the Great Wall of China saying, "Oh well the scale of it really gave me perspective on how small we really are." You know expressions of self grandeur as such. Not wanting to spew some dead poet society shit, I sat down and had a think. I racked my brain thinking of all the places I had gone. And while there had been many beautiful views, and harrowing experiences... Hands down the most impactful was visiting the camp at Dachau.
While in the Army I had passed through Germany multiple times in the 60's and 70's. At the time there was still a fair amount of unknown in regards to the Holocaust (for average Americans) and a GI on base had suggested we go see the camp for ourselves. I had some down time and figured I should see what he was talking about with my own eyes. So a friend of mine and I grabbed some motorcycles and headed on a little road trip. To this day I still remember how I felt learning what people were actually capable of, and remember I had just spent serious time in Vietnam. For 3 days I didn't fully engage in anything, just kept tossing the images around in my head.
Flash Forward to my dinner and the obvious answer to the "places that have influenced us". I stood up, made sure I had the attention of everyone at the table, because DAMN this was going to be the be all and end all to this conversation.
"Most impactful place I've been.. A Nazi Concentration Camp."
Feeling very confident in myself I began to scan the room too see the reactions to my clearly superior answer. The old mother in law (my guess is mid 90's), who hasn't said anything the entire evening, stands up... Rolls her sleeve up... and reveals her number tattoo. As everyone is staring she says... "Me Too" and rolls her sleeve back down.
This poor woman had actually been processed through Auschwitz and survived. And here I'm talking about essentially taking a tour there. I sat down and finished all the wine. ALL THE WINE. To her credit the woman came up to me later and we had a long chat. I apologized as profoundly and often as I could and insisted I hadn't meant to downplay her, or anyone else's, suffering. She told me she thought it was good that I had felt moved by my visit, and that I had done nothing wrong by sharing that... but her living through the Holocaust had created a dark sense of humor as a coping mechanism, and she couldn't resist the opportunity for a chuckle like that.
TLDR: I told a room full of people I went to a Concentration camp and a Holocaust survivor said "Me Too" and took the wind out of my sails and simultaneously fulfilled her sense of Schadenfreude.
NicNicNicHS: TIFU is my favourite fiction writing subreddit
SnowMakesMeWet: My coWorker has told me this story multiple times. I finally asked his wife about it last May and not only did she confirm it.. she introduced me to the lady who's mother it was. Once I found it was true I've been begging him to let me write it here. Dickie is an awesome human, and an amazing story teller. I literally had him record it all on video and typed it in as he told it. It is the truth no matter how far fetched.
| 3 | 13.666667 | |
1662165411 | 1662320513 | t3_x4h42l | t5_2to41 | 94 | memome_: TIFU by being too invested in Reddit
I’m sure we’re tired of these Hudson Mohawke- Cbat and Sex posts but fuck you guys are too funny ! So of course I had to read and watch every little comment instead of my regularly scheduled programs and saw way too many posts about the song that shall not be played during the deed and well now it’s stuck in my head . I closed the app and just decided to wait for later to play around but of course when my man came home and we got to it , it was a mess . He went to speed up during sex but all I could hear was robot dolphins and all I could see was Chance Crawford ! 😂🐙 Thank you but no thank you . It’s too fucking funny for the wrong reasons and now my boyfriend is mad that I laughed so hard I spit in his face and I’m now deprived 😂 I have some explaining to do and he’ll probably be on Reddit soon if he likes the humor . If not , I’m on the couch with The Deep .
TL;DR : Reddit posts get stuck in my head during sexy time and it’s usually good but this time I just thought of The Boys . RIP
DEMONSCRIBE: is the post still up? can someone link it to me? i cant find it
memome_: I tried so hard to find it , I’ll keep looking for you
Kentomedia: [Here you go!](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
memome_: Thank you !
| 5 | 18.8 | |
1662166001 | 1662168091 | t3_x4hayf | t5_2to41 | 24 | darthphallic: TIFU by watching deer graze
Happened minutes ago. It’s a beautiful summer evening in the Midwest, and I’m unsure of how many of those we have left before fall (aka winter lite) rolls in so I decide to go skating. Now the town I currently live in is surrounded by forest preserves and rivers, to the point I’ve been stranded there a few days if we get heavy enough rains to cause flooding more than once, so it’s not uncommon to run into all manner of wildlife.
Tonight I ran into a beautiful group of deer grazing in someone’s yard, about 4 female adults and 5 children. I’ve had plenty of deer in my yard before so I know it’s best to admire them from a distance, stand far enough to not spook them and just enjoy the sights without interfering so I’ve never run into any problems. Tonight, dear audience, was the exception. After about 20 seconds of watching them from across the street and down a ways a big ass buck comes roaring out of someone’s back yard and down their drive way like a bat out of hell and charging right towards me.
I’ve never been so happy to have my skates on instead of being on foot, I used to play some hockey so I’m pretty quick and took off as fast as I could occasionally looking back. Thing followed me for maybe a block and a half looking at me like I pissed in his soup before breaking off into someone else’s back yard. I saw the same buck later on my route and he stared at me unblinking as I skated past unstopping like “that’s right you little bitch, you keep on wheel walking”
So I’m glad I didn’t get body checked by a 300lb slab of hooves and meat at best, or gored at worst. But the silver lining is I got some good cardio in!
TLDR; stopped on an evening skate to watch some deer from a distance, their guardian buck apparently didn’t think it was distance enough and started charging me
pm_me_yoyr_best: Money's on gore. They can be brutal.
I knew a guy in high school that caught a buck in a spot light one night. He had his buddy hold it and tried to sneak up on it in the field.
Unfortunately he crossed in front of the light and it came around. Started chasing him and ran him right into the bed of his truck. If I remember correctly it ended up puncturing his quarter panel with an antler.
Glad you're safe OP!
darthphallic: Yeah bucks are no fucking joke, I’ve seen some car damage from them round these parts. For the most part we live pretty peacefully with the deer and other animals because we’re so used to each other, but occasionally there’s just a pissed off buck
| 3 | 8 | |
1662167933 | 1662235664 | t3_x4hxia | t5_2to41 | 467 | batchian320: TIFU by insinuating I would be putting ribs in my ass
36 minutes ago I went to the grocery store to buy lube as I have recently ran out. I walked up and noticed they were cooking ribs outside and thought damn that sounds super good. So I waltz around the store like one does before coming to the lube section, picked one and went to check out. As I approached the front I realized that I needed to go through the lines instead of the self checkout so they could ring me up for Ribs. Awkward but whatever. Walk along the lines and come to find that there is only one line open. Operated by a teenage girl. I cleared my throat and walked up, telling myself that it wouldn't be weird.
"Is this all for you today?"
"Oh, actually, can I get some ribs?"
"Half or full rack?"
"Full please"
she rang up my ribs then asked "nice day out there huh? have anything fun planned for this weekend?"
It was so awkward. So forced. I felt so bad already so I thought that I would ease the situation with a joke.
"no big plans no, just hanging out, I swear my purchases aren't related"
She looked me directly in the eyes. My heart sunk. She didn't understand at first, expression unwavering, but as she realized and I saw the light drain from her eyes.
"aha yea"
Payed and got the fuck out of there. Laughed my ass off walking off but the more I think about it the worse I feel, imagine standing on your feet for 10 hours just for some dickhead to come through the check out line insinuating that he would be putting ribs in his ass.
Jesus fucking Christ
TL;DR just go through self checkout when buying lube to avoid insinuating you will be putting ribs in your ass over the weekend to a tired teenage girl grocery clerk.
wildadragon: Yeah you're probably not even close to the worst or strangest thing she's seen.
Also glad to see you're finally gonna commit to getting that full rack of ribs up there.
batchian320: I know it could have been worse, but it also could have been not at all. Forgot to mention in the post but I came home to my roommates over the smoker . . . . making ribs.
I'm thinking I could do one and a half racks if I really commit . . . r/assribs
justabill71: It's like r/buttsharpies (NSFW), but with meat.
mrSalamander: man I love a good butthole as much as the next guy, but I do not get that sub.
Key_Development7093: I clicked on it out of genuinely, innocent curiosity and regretted it 😅😂
| 6 | 77.833333 | |
1662165660 | 1662170231 | t3_x4h6yy | t5_2to41 | 12 | glibglubgloob: TIFU by screwing myself out of a move and getting stuck across the country.
I took a job as an AMIT back in August last year for the company I work for now. Pay wasn’t super good but I wanted the experience. They agreed to pay my move so long as I paid it back. I agree and they rush me and my fiancé out here.
I’ve been out here for around a year and I’ve learned that I REALLY don’t like AZ. Sales have been down across all stores, which has resulted in shutting down/selling 3 stores. Now we’re down to 2 whole stores. This is obviously not good, so I decided it was time to cut my ties and get out. I have family back in GA, including a sick mom who is suffering from hydrocephalus. Right around this time, she had a massive life threatening surgery and needs support. I contacted the owners of GA company and told them my situation, and requested that I could move back and continue to work there, because I do genuinely like my job. They said as long as my debt to the company in AZ was paid off before my lease ends, that’s okay.
At this point it seems certain that I’ll be able to get home to help mom. I tell my entire family about it. I even set up a GoFundMe for her so I could help with a place to live. The end of August comes, and things in our stores still aren’t going well. Some managers/staff have quit due to low pay. I myself am also very unmotivated. I let the idea of getting out of AZ make me lazy and wasn’t doing well. Not to say I’d been doing exceptionally well prior to that, no one had. The AZ owner calls me and tells me that the GA owners are flying in to “discuss business plans”. I knew they’d most likely be visiting our stores but didn’t expect any huge evaluations.
I get absolutely sick at the worst time possible. And no, not like a little bug, like a “I’m hoarse as hell, vomiting nearly every day from coughing too hard and nausea to boot, blood in my mucus oh god kill me now” sick. But I’m a manager and we don’t have any other staff, so I have to work. For most of the time they’re in town, I’m doing everything I can to be as functional as possible. I should note that I don’t know what the GA owners look like, I’ve never met them. I’ve spoke to one, but that’s it.
One day I woke up late. I had 10 minutes to get to work. I live right next to my store, but I still didn’t have time to get ready, so I threw on some clothes, grabbed my keys and sped to work. I had forgotten my work shirt (just a black polo with the company logo on it) and looked like crap. But I knew I couldn’t be late. So I get there, open the store as quickly as I can and spend the day just trying to do whatever to stay busy and not suffer. It’s pretty uneventful, my second shift guy hasn’t come in yet so it’s just me. I help whoever comes in, which isn’t many as it’s a small store inside of Walmart in a poorer neighborhood. I’m not even thinking about the owners anymore, I believed they’d already left.
This clean-cut guy pops into the store with a way more chipper attitude than most people here. “How can I help you?” I ask hoarsely, my voice probably sounding like what I imagine a sentient steel wool would.
Him: “Hi! I was looking to get a screen cover thingy?”
Me: “A screen protector, sir?”
Him: “Yeah, one of those.”
Me: “Okay. What model phone do you have?”
Him: “An iPhone 12 or something, I think?”
I ask him for the phone. It’s a 13 Pro. We keep a bunch of bulk tempered glass in a front drawer so I have one for nearly every single iPhone. He asked me how much it would be, then asks me if there’s any discounts available right now. I offer him a discount if he leaves a review. That’s a standard practice we have, but we also offer a discount w/purchase of a case. He didn’t have one, so l I definitely should have asked but to be l honest I didn’t want to make the interaction longer than it was so I just didn’t push it. He declines the review, which was weird, but I didn’t push it.
He goes to pay, and l as he does so whispers, “Hey, actually, how about I just give you $10 and we call it even huh?” Trying to get me to steal. I told him no, I can’t do that. He said okay and paid full price. I put the protector on for him, making small talk. After that, he says thanks and walks away. I thanked him in turn.
After I’d gotten off of work, I called the AZ owner to ask something. He had brought up how the GA owners were leaving, which surprised me because I didn’t know they were still in town. I asked if they’d visited, and he said yes. As soon as he said that I knew immediately which customer it was. I felt very stupid that I hadn’t figured it out then, because of how obvious it had been. Feigning lack of knowledge, asking about discounts or deals, observations about the store, etc. I tried to call one of the GA owners but no answer. I sent a text asking to talk to him.
I get a response the next day saying they were busy flying home but he’d like to schedule a call with me on Monday. I agreed and waited the weekend out. Monday rolls around and he calls me. To make it quick, he told me based on what they had seen, that they didn’t think I’d do well in GA (despite the fact that I did exceptionally well in GA before I ever even moved to AZ) and that they didn’t plan to move me back. The conversation sort of fell apart from here. I tried to explain that I had been very sick the entire week and that it was just bad timing, but that was just excuses to them. He basically knit-picked every single aspect of my presentation as both a salesman and a manager and killed any hope I had of moving home anytime soon. I couldn’t really say much more than “thanks for the reality check, I’ll work to improve things,” and ended the call
When I had to tell my mom, she was devastated. All the plans I’d made to get home and finally be back to my family and out of this quite literal desert hell had went up in smoke. And while I know a lot of it was just poor timing, it was absolutely my fault for failing to do my job as a manager and make the company want to move me home. So yeah. I really screwed up.
TL;DR: A combination of bad timing and lack of effort screwed me out of moving back to my home state so I could be happier and help my mom.
ExtremePast: Why'd you cower to them?
They fucked you over and you said "thanks for the reality check" back? Jeez.
Also it's nit not knit.
glibglubgloob: Job security. I can’t afford to have a job and I still owe the company money so I unfortunately am not in a position to say left or right.
| 3 | 4 | |
1662168092 | 1662222996 | t3_x4hzdq | t5_2to41 | 150 | ugagradlady: TIFU by bringing back carts in the rain.
I work at a Walmart and one of the most fun and least tedious things to do is ride the motor carts customers leave in the parking lot back into the store. One of these ignorant blobs left the cart (an electrical device) out in a rainstorm, and since I push a lot of carts, I went out into the rain to save it.
Bad idea-the seat was soaked. You can't manually drag these carts, you have to sit in the seat as you move them. So I sat on it, and my entire lower half was drenched in rainwater.
When I got in and retuned the cart, my pants and panties were soaked, making me appear to have wet myself. I retreated into the break room in humiliation. My shift was almost over anyway, but I didn't want to stay there doing nothing for an hour and a half. I sheepishly went to my boss' office and explained what happened.
She was gracious enough to let me go early, with no penalty to my attendance or loss of pay. I bought some towels, called an Uber, and used the towels to keep the driver's carseats dry as she drove me home. No damage was done to the seat, all that was hurt was my pride.
tl;dr I rode a motorized cart back into Walmart during a rainstorm, and was made to look like a pants-wetting idiot as I drove it back in.
bobbyisgayhehe: Hahaha man u should of put it feat on the seat
Ktulu789: This!
Underrated comment!
bobbyisgayhehe: Not ur feat the ops feat
SacredSpirit123: *feet
| 5 | 30 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.