start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1354866979 | 1354938949 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | thebornotaku: TIFU by misinterpreting pricetags, and playing it off.
So, I work in a grocery store that's kind of upscale and we sell all kinds of housewares and trinkets and stuff, including, but not limited to, hand towels. The nice cloth kinds.
A customer comes up front with a bundle of these things. There's like 5... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1354890831 | 1354985682 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | puddlesplasher: TIFU: I tried to be funny and broke the railing on my stairs and my car.
My friend was going to pull into the driveway next to mine so he could get into my car. In an attempt to be funny, I was going to swing the car around quickly and park right in front of him. What I ended up doing was not make the t... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1354896077 | 1354926387 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | spidy96: TIFU by watching my best friend die when I could have avoided it
flavroftheweek: You know, you can tell us about your dog getting hit by a car, and it will still be meaningful. You don't need some bullshit twist ending. I would have liked to hear about Oreo, and I think he deserves his true life to be heard... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1354892116 | 1355300844 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU my class presentation.
So today my project team and I were giving a presentation. It was about a big multinational's operations in Asia. I spoke about the company's strong focus on food products, and that it should instead focus more on personal care products.
Then someone (Asian girl) from the audienc... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1354898935 | 1354947470 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by bumping a pedestrian with my car
I was at a crosswalk waiting to make a right turn. I was looking left for traffic but didn't look right for pedestrians. I let go of the brake and crept up. When I look left I see a guy and immediately stop. He is leaning on my car. Put my hands up in shock. He and hi... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1354899123 | 1354921558 | null | t5_2to41 | 50 | TheWumboMan: TIFU by breaking the most expensive present I've ever received
First of all here's some background information. My family is fucking poor. Ever since I was born 16 years ago we have always struggled with bills and money. My mum works full time and my dad full time but we still only just scrape by. I've bee... | 8 | 6.25 | |
1354902632 | 1354965165 | null | t5_2to41 | 495 | grant0: TIFU by waking up wrong and failing to stand. Wow.
I set my alarm clock across the room from me to make me get up to turn it off, otherwise I can turn it off in my sleep. Today my alarm went off, and I stood up to turn it off…without realizing that both my legs were still asleep. I instantly collapsed and twist... | 7 | 70.714286 | |
1354869774 | 1354931889 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | strappingyoungpeople: TIFU by opening up a browser full of porn tabs in front of my professor and possibly outing myself
Met during office hours for finals prep, wanted to reference something online, opened Chrome, forgot I had pinned a bunch of porn in my tabs the night before. Very quickly closed it down and said "Oh... | 5 | 8.2 | |
1354908249 | 1355426386 | null | t5_2to41 | 299 | smellyhookercunt: TIFU by remembering something really, really awful.
Okay, so this happened like 5 years years ago and I wasn't able to put the pieces together until now.
I was rummaging through my parents bedroom looking for porn, as I knew my dad had some DVD's stashed in his dresser drawer. I was too afraid to us... | 5 | 59.8 | |
1354916690 | 1355217440 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | mueslimonster: TIFU charity
I was just out at the snack bar getting myself some warm fries and a cheese souflet. While waiting for the order, somebody is apparently creating some arguments and annoying people, but I don't pay attention because I'm reading a newspaper. But when my order was called, this annoying guy act... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1354926526 | 1355148619 | null | t5_2to41 | 43 | [deleted]: TIFU by pretending to shoot myself in part of a joke to a friend who's father just committed suicide.
He didn't say anything, but we both knew. He saw my fuckup and changed the subject, good guy friend.
imnotcooldude: I played a rape sketch with my ex and I was laughing really hard about the joke but then I... | 4 | 10.75 | |
1354909156 | 1355004216 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | GoGreenGiant: TIFU by driving in the rain with bald tires
I know my tires were shit. I was ready to get new ones, but was lazy about it because well, they are damn expensive. Normally I buy used for $30 a piece, and had some miss-matched oldies that had to go. I had one good tire on the car.
So I've been putting the t... | 7 | 2.142857 | |
1354928125 | 1354937846 | null | t5_2to41 | 81 | spillpop: TIFU by rubbing metal into my eyeball
I'm a mechanic. I'm not sure exactly how or when it happened but this morning at work my left eye started bothering me. It was mild irritation at first which grew into unbelievable pain along with a lot of watering and inflammation.
All week I have been planning on meetin... | 5 | 16.2 | |
1354941437 | 1355010528 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | van5000111: TIFU and crapped all over my bathroom wall.
I came home from school ran to the bathroom, pulled my pants down but it was too late. The poo flied ALLOVER my wall, not looking forward to cleaning it. :(
I_LIKE_THAT_SHIT: ಠ\_ಠ
*flied*
ReyasWI: Most appropriate username
I_LIKE_THAT_SHIT: a... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1354944420 | 1354948136 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | remind_me_to_study: Today, I told a story about something that happened a long time ago, then talked to my brother about it and found out I wasn't actually there. Now I feel crazy guilty and may have overreacted.
I remember an event from my childhood with immense clarity. I saw an AskReddit about something similar toda... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1354988929 | 1354997458 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | Anon_Chan: TIFU My mom ate my cum
Philias: How did she react? I mean, surely ejaculate tastes nothing like icing. Also, wouldn't it have been dry and crusty after 3 hours?
[deleted]: I am sure this is not the first time she tasted semen
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1354996996 | 1355074449 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,795 | Pokemon0891: Tifu zipping my pants.
At a friends house after a night of drinking and I precede to passout on his couch. He works at 5am and woke me up to move from the couch to the bed. I Quick go to the bathroom before even being cognitive and take a piss like any normal human being. I Quick zip my pants up and contin... | 13 | 138.076923 | |
1355004813 | 1355032611 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | MLP-FTW: TIFU by leaving my cell phone in my pocket, those shorts in turn then went through the laundry machine.
Just my regular weekend laundry day, and my sister hands me the the phone, my dad tells me he's been trying to reach me all day on my cell phone. After I get off the phone I started looking around for my ce... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1355006158 | 1355048488 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | Hidethebag: I took a monstrous shit.
Ldpcm: Use a plunger... good luck!
MegatronStarscream: This should have been your first reaction, lol.
That said I dont even have a plunger in my house.
Hidethebag: I don't have a plunger either D:
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1355010444 | 1355022544 | null | t5_2to41 | 97 | suckmybaconplease: TIfu by accidentally asking a man when his baby was due
So today I go to the local Walmart to pick up a couple of items for my niece. I'm browsing the toddler and new born isle when I see a short person wearing a black sweater, pink eye glasses, sperrys, a large baby bump, and they also have their ha... | 3 | 32.333333 | |
1355021285 | 1355090907 | null | t5_2to41 | 575 | tifu_broken_bones: TIFU by accidentally calling my roommate my wife, then accidentally proposing
I'm an orthopedic surgeon. I have a female roommate, and she's not good with gore. Sometimes I tease her by telling her horror stories from work. Sometimes she drops by work and we'll get coffee, lunch, or dinner. We had ha... | 9 | 63.888889 | |
1355029713 | 1355512210 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally sending a coworker a link to a NSFW subreddit.
I was talking to a work friend and my fiance on Facebook, while also browsing Reddit in another browser. Upon finding r/GabenGoneWild, I knew my fiance would love it, and popped back into Facebook to send it to him. But I didn't pay attentio... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1355029034 | 1355079718 | null | t5_2to41 | 70 | [deleted]: TIFU by using the word "niggardly" correctly and in context. Now people assume I'm a racist bigot.
loafers_glory: Irish here. We get the same problem with the term 'nigs', which means 'dibs not ...' or 'shotgun not ...'; the last person to say it (for example when the doorbell rings, or when not wanting to ... | 5 | 14 | |
1355028605 | 1355113707 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | hops56: TIFU by putting icy hot on my boyfriends balls
He shaved them yesterday. It was bad. Very very bad.
darkrock: this can't be that bad, can it? I'm gonna go try...
B_Man364: How's that goin on for ya
darthelmo: OP has been hospitalized. In a rubber room.
Sir_Narwhal: loled.
| 5 | 5.4 | |
1355029356 | 1355810816 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | edge_of_glory: TIFU by shitting on myself twice.
I woke up this morning to my granny making breakfast and an urge to vomit. I figured it was because I had not eaten for a few hours. So I decide to shower and prepare for my sexy times later on. I decide to put on these lacy black boy shorts that are essentially made fo... | 6 | 6.333333 | |
1355008664 | 1355273482 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | goldenjuicebox: TIFU by dumping chocolate milk on my iPhone.
Yes, I dumped chocolate milk on my iPhone. It was charging pleasantly on the table. My cup of milk was sitting pleasantly near it. That is fuck up number one. Number two was when I decided to grab my cup for a drink of that lovely beverage. Miss. I hit the cu... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1355053399 | 1355498184 | null | t5_2to41 | 528 | vomitstrain: TIFU by trying to poop so hard I vomited.
I had just had a big lunch and I really needed to go, but my colon thought otherwise. I ended up pushing so hard that I vomited all over my pants and shoes.
darkrock: it's off to /r/shittingadvice with you. specifically, never force it, and never force it that har... | 6 | 88 | |
1355067284 | 1355095519 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | MyJustMeHere: TIFU by accidentally slitting the side of my wrist.
I was in the shower and with a razor and to make a long story short I ended up cutting the side of my wrist with it, it's been bleeding for at least an hour now and it bloody hurts.
AnnieIWillKnow: If it scars people will reckon you self-harm. I have som... | 4 | 4 | |
1354933400 | 1355090859 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | pingu2992: TIFU by trying to cartwheel during 5th period
So today, after all work was complete in Algebra, people starting doing cartwheels and handstands and such. I remembered being pretty good at cartwheeling (in 4th grade XO) and decided that I would try. I ended up getting about 1/4 of the way through the cartwhee... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1355079176 | 1355125564 | null | t5_2to41 | 44 | [deleted]: TIFU by picking up a hitchhiker.
My friends an I have a decent amount of adventures together, they usually involve me being dragged through some racist part of Florida against my better judgement, like the Bithlo area, where not only is it a crime to be black but its pretty Goddamn un-American.
Anyway, so ... | 4 | 11 | |
1355087510 | 1355336264 | null | t5_2to41 | 204 | [deleted]: TIFU and outed the guy I've been hooking up with to his big brother (I am also a guy).
Back Story: Spring Semester of Freshman Year of College, I met a guy. We'll call him John. So I meet John via internet and he kinda hints that he wants to mess around with guys. And I'm like "Hell yeah!" because I find him... | 9 | 22.666667 | |
1355090942 | 1355115243 | null | t5_2to41 | 189 | diy_tripper: TIFU by sneezing while brushing my teeth
My normal morning routine involves me brushing my teeth while checking Reddit for a couple minutes. Today however, a sneeze came up on me very quickly, and I didn't even have time to turn my head. As a result, I spewed a huge mouthful of frothy, minty, saliva-y shit... | 3 | 63 | |
1355099576 | 1355332696 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to introduce this girl to Reddit. I forgot to log out of my account and she saw everything
So every post I liked, favorited, all of my subscribed subreddits out in the open. *Facepalm*
bored2242: What.. kind of stuff do you like and subscribe to on reddit. o.o
TreeLove520: r/ilovebiggaymen
bo... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1355110693 | 1355116361 | null | t5_2to41 | 69 | pineapple09: TIFU by getting habanero oils in my privates.
I decided to be a domestic goddess earlier and whip up some salsa and some chili, so I was cutting up little habanero peppers to add flavor. After I finished I washed my hand, cut up other veggies, ate dinner, did dishes, and got ready for bed. I decided to w... | 3 | 23 | |
1355109769 | 1355186429 | null | t5_2to41 | 226 | [deleted]: TIFU by disrespecting a lesbian couple I am very fond of.
The office Christmas party was last Thursday. It basically consisted of a nice supper and a couple hours of open bar and dance floor. For most of the party, I hung out with an attractive female coworker whom I had a very friendly relationship with [I'... | 15 | 15.066667 | |
1355122444 | 1355171334 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | wingman16: TIFU and might never see my friends or the girl of my dreams again
Ok, so this didn't just happen today, it's been a long process of fuck-ups that finally hit me like a brick wall today.
I'm a college student, who didn't make friends in high school. I got really close to a lot of people in college. But, I g... | 5 | 4.8 | |
1355102519 | 1355389859 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | imme10036: TIFU by blacking out at the holiday party of my new job, and breaking my front door.
TIFU pretty bad. I had just started my job at a very conservative accounting job earlier in the week and was immediately invited to the holiday party later that week. I figured this would be a great time to meet all my new c... | 5 | 4.8 | |
1355112030 | 1355157444 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by spilling hot tea on my lap.
It was a bad moment to remember I wasn't wearing underwear.
HaroldSax: Can I ask why you were drinking hot tea in the nude? That just seems irresponsible to me.
twiztedxtreme: Post-fap nourishment.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1355126800 | 1355170221 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU and almost got raped. ( Im a guy )
Release_the_KRAKEN: So...basically your friend's brother...sexually assaulted you?
kyperion: Yup
Release_the_KRAKEN: So get that motherfucker arrested?
kyperion: Dude no I really don't care if I get ejaculated on. It doesn't mean my life is over. And no need to get my... | 11 | 3.181818 | |
1355132304 | 1355303455 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | aBigPanda: TIFU Punching kids in the face
So today I went to the park with my sister. We were spinning in circles to see who would be the dizziest. I not only hit one but two children in the face. They were twins and their mom was not pleased.
leparkr: O my goodness...The image of that scenario in my head is comical bu... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1355139783 | 1355156827 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | fish_kicker: TIFU by letting my husband have sex with me
Sounds like a no brainer but let me give you the story. My hubs and I are not on the best terms and have not had sex in over 6 months. I got off work this morning, got home, and took my night time meds. These meds tend to make me incoherent so i can sleep with th... | 7 | 0.142857 | |
1355157165 | 1355159785 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU by reading my dad's Whatsapp messages.
This isn't one of the I shit accidentally or i stuffed my cat up my anus tifus.
This happened just last night and I am still a bit of shock. So I came to visit my 54 year old dad and 49 year old mom after about 7 months of not seeing them. They set up a feast an... | 3 | 13.333333 | |
1355157880 | 1355314786 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,685 | Balmarog: TIFU by teaching my kitten to attack things under the covers
So I recently got a new kitten, she is absolutely adorable, fuzzy, cuddly, likes to lick my nose, she's a fantastic cat. I love her to death already.
Well, our nightly ritual before going to sleep typically consists of her attacking my hand as I mo... | 10 | 168.5 | |
1355111134 | 1355185011 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | gman94: Tifu and sliced my finger open.
I was sharpening my mom's butcher knife for her when she tells me to use her new sharpener. So I start sharpening it. I did it wrong apparently because on my third swipe I cut the shit out of my hand. It bled like crazy and I had to first aid all over it. I have now cleaned it wi... | 7 | 3.428571 | |
1355180825 | 1355210636 | null | t5_2to41 | 91 | My_Cool_Name: TIFU, shit myself.
Yesterday, we had a party with a lot of beans and other proteins other than meat (the host was vegetarian). Me, thinking it was a good idea to go to work the next day, went to work the next day. About 2 hours into my shift at my cousin's and I's computer business, I decided, when the ur... | 7 | 13 | |
1355186813 | 1355432576 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | mikhail_harel: TIFU by accidentally friendzoning a disabled guy at my youth center
This is something that's been going on for a while, actually. There's a disabled guy at my LGBT youth center. He has pretty severe Asperger's and everyone makes fun of him for it. I know what it's like to be teased, and throughout my ... | 10 | 4.1 | |
1355183257 | 1355204405 | null | t5_2to41 | 80 | josstheboss24: TIFU by accidentally using Vanilla Soy Milk to make Hamburger Helper
It was gross. I still ate it.
darthelmo: Four hours from now: "TIFU by making dinner with soy milk; now I can't stop shitting myself."
pezz29: The counter really doesn't need resetting.
| 3 | 26.666667 | |
1355189718 | 1355261679 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | TreeLove520: TIFU by farting on my girlfriend.
Last night (sorry, not today) Nicole (my girlfriend) and I were laying on my living room floor watching a movie on my laptop.
We were screwing around, being dorks and shit, wrestling and just having fun.
I was laying on my stomach, and she rolled over and laid on top of me... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1355177914 | 1355195354 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | MagelansTrousrs: TIFU by spilling seltzer on my laptop the week before finals.
Have it sitting in rice now praying it'll turn on.
catcradle5: Let it sit for a few days before turning it on. In the mean time try to borrow a friend/family member's computer/laptop, or try the library.
If there is some vital data on the l... | 3 | 4 | |
1355176944 | 1355430798 | null | t5_2to41 | 53 | Tronberr: TIFU by kicking a kid in the face...
It was just an average weekday, getting up for college and walking to my bus stop as usual...
After about 5-10 minutes waiting I hop on the bus and notice it's a little full, so I decide to stand at the front, big mistake.
It was halfway through my journey and the bus wa... | 4 | 13.25 | |
1355198458 | 1355262687 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | Joaoaoao: TIFU by letting my little brother shit all over himself and his room.
I got home from school today at 2:15, and my mom needed me to stay with my 2 1/2 year old brother. Nothing out of the ordinary, as I have taken care of him since he was really young. She says she won't be long, and the whole thing will take... | 5 | 7.6 | |
1355182269 | 1355289475 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | nicko68: TIFU by accidentally leaving lamb out of the freezer too long
Well yesterday anyway... :-)
2 days ago I needed to get something out of the chest freezer. I tool out a box containing a preseasoned easy carve leg of lamb roast and placed it on a nearby table, temporarily. I'm out of work but bought it a few we... | 5 | 2 | |
1355236759 | 1355288110 | null | t5_2to41 | 70 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my girlfriend that I masturbate and think about her
We have been together for nearly 10 months, in the previous month, our relationship has gone up to the next level. I managed to convince this sweet, innocent and beautiful girl to touch my schlong :) super happy about that by the way. Anyway... | 14 | 5 | |
1355232324 | 1355272876 | null | t5_2to41 | 346 | guitarded_joe: TIFU I had a dream I was having a piss, I was.
Title says it all.
darkrock: if you're 7 or 70 years old, who cares?
Abezilla116: I like how you didn't say 7 through 70.
DoctorBaconite: After i turned about 21 i totally stopped caring because i think its hilarious. I've gotten drunk and pissed my girlfrie... | 7 | 49.428571 | |
1355272614 | 1355324591 | null | t5_2to41 | 187 | isitany_wonder: TIFU by reaching into a poopy toilet.
This morning when I got to work, 7:30am, quickly realized I had to poop. All went well (for a workplace poo, that is, no home toilet advantage) until I got up quickly and swung around to flush the toilet.
I have to wear a security type badge at work that clips to ... | 5 | 37.4 | |
1355266735 | 1355339527 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | bnielsen96: TIFU by neglecting to aim properly in the bathroom.
Well, today at school, I sat down to take a dump. Nothing unusual. It was during first period, so I wasn't really awake at that point. As a result, It took me a minute to realize that as I was peeing, it was hitting the rim of the toilet seat and splashing... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1355282114 | 1355287243 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU Throwing up all over a table in McDonalds
Drunk in the city with mates and wasn't feeling good so we went into McDonalds to grab something greasy to eat to feel better. Feel like I'm gonna blow, get food anyways thinking it can only get better. Sit down with it, take one bite and puke all over the tabl... | 4 | 5 | |
1355287497 | 1355333073 | null | t5_2to41 | 82 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking it was a good idea to play Just Dance 4 in stiletto heels.
I had just gotten home from a wedding and didn't feel like getting undressed, so I thought "What the hell?" I fire up my Kinect and get the game going. Commence epic dancing, I'm doing pretty good. Almost to five stars on "So What", ... | 4 | 20.5 | |
1355292092 | 1355331169 | null | t5_2to41 | 345 | MyMegaGame: TIFU by beating up a special needs kid.
So I walking in the hallways to my locker, and on the way someone grabs my backpack. In panic I grabbed her arm, flipped her over, and punched her twice in the face. The teacher with her sent us to the office and explained that she was autistic. I ended up with 3 days... | 8 | 43.125 | |
1355287501 | 1355336759 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | BumpyNella: TIFU by crushing my child's iPod Touch.
[This] (http://i.imgur.com/LJSc0.jpg) slippery little devil slid down beneath the recliner where my son likes to sit and game, chat, listen to music, etc.
I moved the chair to look for it, engaging the recline/swivel/tilt mechanism. *Crunch.*
bored2242: Well thats ... | 6 | 6.333333 | |
1355299708 | 1355339678 | null | t5_2to41 | 61 | PonderForce1: TIFU I let myself be scammed out of $500
I was on a pretty busy street waiting for a bus. A man came up to me claiming his car had been broken into and robbed. He wanted me to cash a check for him. I was skeptical, but after he showed me his car, it seemed to have checked out just like he said. I even att... | 6 | 10.166667 | |
1355308893 | 1355368998 | null | t5_2to41 | 44 | _---: TIFU by Throwing-up on my Laptop
You know those weird burps that come out of nowhere that have a little juice to it? I usually am able to catch them and put them back down but they kinda burn and they taste like barf. Well today I'm online browsing on my Macbook when I go to move my laptop from my lap onto the be... | 9 | 4.888889 | |
1355289545 | 1355429927 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | uptownmaker: TIFU by not draining my sprinklers
Well, okay, technically it's been a fuck-up in progress for some weeks, but the bill arrived today.
Putting the kids down when our neighbor comes by to tell us we have a "leak" in the back yard. Turns out, the damn sprinkler cut-off valve has popped and water is spraying... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1355335389 | 1355377677 | null | t5_2to41 | 295 | NelsonJamdela: TIFU by putting dish soap in the dishwasher
*Suds... suds everywhere* (But seriously: I'm an idiot for not discerning the difference between dish "liquid" and dish detergent)
[deleted]: My SO did this nearly on a weekly basis.
I've told him under no circumstances is he ever to do the dishes again.
Cmr7... | 9 | 32.777778 | |
1355343749 | 1355395889 | null | t5_2to41 | 340 | throwawaybeagle: TIFU by trying to impress a girl be looking up her address
So I was in class and I was telling my friend how I was going to be in her area for a basketball game over Christmas break. So I said I would I would beep as I drove by. She said I would not be able to find her house. I said I could always look... | 6 | 56.666667 | |
1355344332 | 1355385717 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | ShadowBlade69: TIFU my schooling.
I got caught with adderall at school. Suspended, hearing pending. I was legitimately using the adderall to focus more on school >.<
3d12: > I was legitimately using the adderall to focus more on school
If you do not have a prescription, you were **not** "legitimately using" t... | 10 | 3.6 | |
1355342792 | 1355364642 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | iamatotalfuckup: [TIFU UPDATE] 2 Girls, 1 Intercom
[Original Post](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/14dzpf/tifu_dating_2_girls_and_talking_dirty_on_my/)
First off thanks to everyone for the support and in some cases calling me a fucking douchebag (ahh Reddit).. Mostly for the support!
I decided I was going to t... | 5 | 13 | |
1355340582 | 1355776239 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | dancing_raptor_jesus: TIFU and spilled soup all over my only pair of jeans, all over my laptop my girlfriends floor and table.
What worse it was soup she had made for me... so now I'm sitting on a damp chair, typing this after frantically trying to get this soup out of the floor (very small mushy bits) and wondering wh... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1355350113 | 1355809780 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | mouthwords1128: I just failed one of my classes.
About a week ago I received an email from my composition professor detailing what date and time to drop the final portfolio off. My stupid ass self read it as Thursday December 13. So today I was going to touch up some of the papers in it but first decided to go back and... | 5 | 5.6 | |
1355354381 | 1355356774 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | A_Mediocre_Physicist: TIFU by calling my girlfriend a Nidoqueen.
So last night my girlfriend and I were having dinner with a friend, and somehow we got on the topic of who would be what pokemon. So, I decide to tell my friend that he would be a ditto because he would literally fuck anything. So my girlfriend asked me i... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1355351585 | 1355439815 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | lerissy: TIFU; Drove to the store. Go into the store. Forget why I was there. Leave the store.
My brain totally failed on me. I thought it would be one of those things when I remember when I get home... But, nope. To this moment I have no clue why I went to the store. *face palm*
trolljuice: do you live in Colorado or... | 6 | 8 | |
1355353370 | 1355377876 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | Aerion7337: TIFU by mistyping....badly....
I went to open this subreddit on my iPhone app. I had been to lazy to subscribe so I had to type "tifu" into Other Reddit. Easy right? Till you type "tilf" instead... (Stands for Teachers I'd Like To F$%&). That's not so bad by itself, but the bus was crowded and a kid... | 3 | 9 | |
1355365884 | 1355378546 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | hipsterstripes: TIFU by responding to a knock at the door
I don't know what on earth allowed me to do this but I had a weird knock at my door around 8PM from someone who was going around to all the apartments around. He started off by saying it was a project and that he needed to ask me a few questions to get to know m... | 4 | 5 | |
1355377813 | 1355546672 | null | t5_2to41 | 304 | MadMikeLove: TIFU by taking an online final exam and using Opera internet broswer.
If anyone uses this browser, then you know it's very incompatible with a lot of websites, but the features are so useful that it keeps me using it.
So my online class's website is one of those sites that hate opera.
Throughout the whol... | 16 | 19 | |
1355372616 | 1355708753 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | clobhair: TIFU by throwing up into my own hand.
Every morning after a night of drinking, I wake up really early feeling like I need to throw up. The weird thing is that I always run to bathroom, get ready to throw up, and then just sneeze. EVERY. TIME. This morning I had the feeling again, but I was extremely tired and... | 5 | 4.4 | |
1355384425 | 1355701687 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | HaroldSax: TIFU by smashing my face and breaking my glasses.
I work in the shipping industry, at a warehouse, and I'm typically doing what is known as lumping. Lumping is simply removing the contents of containers (or trailers) and putting them on pallets so they can be staged for picking. Our most annoying and most tr... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1355392825 | 1355420287 | null | t5_2to41 | 89 | nariox: TIFU while fixing a clogged drain
Actually this happend last week, but I only found out about TIFU today.
Well, I cleaned some vegetables in the kitchen sink as usual and apparently some of the mung beans were washed into the drain where they finally clogged the pipe. It was not completely closed, water did fl... | 6 | 14.833333 | |
1355416298 | 1355736235 | null | t5_2to41 | 459 | Vortex851: TIFU by getting an earbud so deeply jammed into my ear canal that it needed medical attention.
I would like to start off by suggesting that Dr. Dre sodomize himself with a microphone covered in brass tacks. Why? I'll tell you. I had been given an apparently "top of the line" pair of Beat Tours (the ones with... | 7 | 65.571429 | |
1355416231 | 1355455340 | null | t5_2to41 | 81 | prussianiron: TIFU by getting aftershave on my testicles
So for Channukah one of my presents was some nice cologne and aftershave. Now I have never used aftershave before, and until recently I was shaving with an electric razor so I had no real reason to know what it was.
After a quick google search informed me that i... | 3 | 27 | |
1355438149 | 1355464804 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | jbaggins: TIFU by using icy hot.
So I was sick right.. 3am rolls around and I wake up out of my fuck-all nyquil coma pretty groggy with a stuffy nose. I venture into my kitchen to get some water and happen to remember there's a tub of icy hot on my table. Now, I remember when you were a kid if you had a stuffy nose, y... | 4 | 6 | |
1355452873 | 1355630472 | null | t5_2to41 | 178 | jewelboxer: TIFU by being an ungrateful bitch to my reddit secret santa
on tuesday (which happened to be my birthday), i got home late. my incredibly thoughtful secret santa's gift, a gorgeous book on scuba diving sites, drastically brightened my mood as soon as i saw it. wanting to get him some more-than-due credit im... | 18 | 9.888889 | |
1355455772 | 1355470684 | null | t5_2to41 | 80 | beard8: TIFU taking off my pants.
I tried to kick off my pants after class today and forgot to take a pen out of my pocket. I stepped on the pen and it left a hole in my foot that proceeded to bleed all over the carpet in my apartment. Then I went to the doctor and they had to stitch it up and now I'm on crutches for ... | 3 | 26.666667 | |
1355449954 | 1355464804 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | Trininsta_raven: TIFU By not knowing my final was tuesday and not Thursday...
I am 100% going to fail this class, thank god it was a pass no pass class but holy shit I fucked up hard and I know I was going to pass the class but the final was worth 30% of the grade and I fucking missed it, holy shit i'm a god damn retar... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1355455314 | 1364941342 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | Iron_Lumberjack: TIFU by drinking too much.
I went to a Chinese restaurant in a mall in order to mix up my daily routine. It's called "GOOD LUCK," in case anybody is wondering. Now it gets interesting. I finish some chicken-on-a-bed-of-rice kind of dish and all that's left is some red peppers that are thin and long and... | 5 | 6.6 | |
1355477219 | 1355528602 | null | t5_2to41 | 510 | brownmike3: TIFU and well... Hot Dumper Neighbor Girl made me fuck up..
Welp... So today I went over to the ex's house. She and I are more like siblings more than anything, It's been 5 years since we dated but her family and I are extremely close. Every Thursday is "bar day" and we go out and get shitfaced, go h... | 15 | 34 | |
1355485932 | 1355582756 | null | t5_2to41 | 44 | rosh1988: TIFU by sending my girlfriend a text but sent it to my boss by mistake.
i been rushing around at work getting orders sorted for the boss and my gf had the day off looking for properties to rent , i thought i better send a text see if shes ok and if shes had any luck, the text said " hey baby how r u?any luck... | 6 | 7.333333 | |
1355472734 | 1355511100 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | thejamesstage: TIFU at the recycling machines
so i save all my bottles and cans so i scrounge up some cash when i return them. i had been saving up for a long while by this point so my collection was rather extensive.
anyway, i brought all my bags of cans to a deposit place. i started to put the cans into the machine ... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1355508066 | 1355709440 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | King_For_A_Day: TIFU My iPod is messed up
I was play fighting with a friend and he ended up getting my iPod and throw it. The screen cracked and the top button doesn't work, its jammed. I have 4th generation iPod. I have a warranty on it still but I jail broke it. I'm wondering if I can un- jailbreak it. Fuck I'm so pi... | 4 | 0.5 | |
1355513076 | 1355611043 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | canipaybycheck: TIFU Fuckup Friday: Alcohol.
We're continuing the [weekly fuck-up friday thread](http://redd.it/141n3t). This is essentially a thread where you share your past fuck-ups within a certain category.
Have you ever fucked up because you drank a little too much?
Please share your story, and as always, detai... | 5 | 5.2 | |
1355523038 | 1355581875 | null | t5_2to41 | 197 | dumbITguy: TIFU by deleting a network of virtual servers with no backup
Much of this probably won't make sense to people who don't work in IT. Those who do will understand...
I was building a farm of virtual servers to replace a network of aging physical machines. They were connected to a SAN over iSCSI and all VHDs w... | 5 | 39.4 | |
1355526579 | 1355794650 | null | t5_2to41 | 75 | kyperion: TIFU by trying to open my mouth wider than it usually does.
So today I bought some Chipotle so I spread crap loads of Tabasco sauce onto my burrito with shredded beef I take a bite. I eat until 3/4 is up until I then try to take another bite. This time the burrito is bigger than usual so I widen my mouth a li... | 5 | 15 | |
1355523641 | 1355620308 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | ratbaby: TIFU by leaving my phone on the roof of our car...
I'm still in high school and too young to drive, so my mom drives me to school. I was putting on my sweatshirt in the morning and set my phone on the roof. I completely forgot it was there. I get to school and before my first period class I cant find my phone!... | 8 | 2.875 | |
1355532272 | 1355554239 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | trowing: TIFU by rereading contest details.
I recently submitted a contest entry for my university's writing contest. I was super confident with my entry, since I put one semester of gut-wrenching hard work and time into my contest submission. I fucking handed in my work with a stupid grin plastered on my face.
Unti... | 4 | 14.5 | |
1355530955 | 1355584445 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | UnknownFear: TIFU by accidentally downloading a whole album on Xbox Music and slowing my computer :(
So I signed up for the monthly-subscription for Xbox Music cause I wanted another way to download songs and stuff. I went onto it to see where I go to download songs, but couldn't seem to find it. I than noticed a Add t... | 4 | 1 | |
1355553082 | 1355591838 | null | t5_2to41 | 753 | Cheezit_fucker: TIFU by not looking when I sat down on a toilet
Normally, I pee on a pretty consistent basis: before I have to leave, when I know there is not going to be a bathroom, or if I just feel that my bladder is semi full. With finals this week, I have forgotten to eat, bathe and yes, even pee regularly. Today,... | 6 | 125.5 | |
1355561860 | 1355648864 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | Downvotes_turn_me_on: TIFU by driving over two dogs on my way home.
The roads were somewhat snowy on that highway. As I was rounding a corner going about 60 mph, I immediately saw a dog standing in the road. Keep in mind that this was at night, and it was very dark. Once I saw the dog I only had seconds to react, so I ... | 5 | 0.6 | |
1355579246 | 1355580137 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | engine_joe: TIFU by downloading over 7 gigs on What.cd upon joining.
Got an invitation from a friend recently and was searching for torrents that would help me get my ratio up. But ended up downloading a 7.07 Gig torrent of e-learning that I am sure nobody else is going to leech anytime soon. On ratio watch now :-(
ato... | 3 | 1 | |
1355579948 | 1355757736 | null | t5_2to41 | 200 | burnafterreading91: TIFU by accidentally drinking someone else's 3 day old dip spit.
I was in the car having a coughing fit, so I reach back for heavenly relief from my water bottle. Unknown to me at the time, my best friend left his dip bottle containing spit/chewing tobacco in my car 3 days prior to this incident. Th... | 10 | 20 | |
1355585525 | 1355786954 | null | t5_2to41 | 53 | ashamed_throwaway01: TIFU by vomiting in a movie theater
Actually happened last night but I am now finally conscious enough to type. I am going out to see the Hobbit with a few friends. It's night and I haven't eaten since breakfast. Before the movies we go to a bar where I drink about 7 beers.
I make the horrible dec... | 5 | 10.6 | |
1355566415 | 1355602681 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by waxing my nose hair
I have a date today, and also some bushy nostrils so I waxed them as I have done before.
I nearly cried as usual when I pulled the hair out but then just went about my day - Cutting my hair, washing my car, getting ready to take a girl out for lunch.
I ran out of cigarettes so w... | 3 | 6.666667 |
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