start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1365884254 | 1365903581 | null | t5_2to41 | 89 | [deleted]: TIFU by driving under the influence of alcohol and copious amounts of Valium.
The night started off normal. I took a Valium or two to with a beer to calm my nerves and then took a shower (of course bringing another beer with me). I went to a Mexican restaurant with my friend tipsy but still okay. I drank a g... | 7 | 12.714286 | |
1365886207 | 1366001528 | null | t5_2to41 | 903 | [deleted]: TIFU...Lots...
Today wasn't my best day...
**FU1 The bleeding forest**:
I'm done school now and just need to finish my final exams. Today, I was planning on having my girlfriend over. I showered and shaved using my DE razor. No nicks or anything (thanks /r/wicked_edge!) I looked for my electric razor so I ... | 7 | 129 | |
1365891981 | 1366044004 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by closing the trunk..
We went to buy some groceries last night. When we got home, we took all the bags out of the trunk. She grabbed the last bag and looked ready to head in. There was a car idling behind some of the parking stall spaces the entire time with the lights on. Curious, I looked over at the... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1365897823 | 1365919040 | null | t5_2to41 | 281 | sorryemporioarmani: TIFU by soiling a pair of expensive underwear and leggings.
Sorry for whoever has to reset the counter for how many days we can go without one of us shitting ourselves. I never thought it would happen to me.
I was feeling in a shitty mood today, I was hungover and smoked a lot of weed last night. ... | 3 | 93.666667 | |
1365898665 | 1365982501 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | Illyich: TIFU by agreeing to do the pledge
If you're in America, you've said the pledge of allegiance countless times because of school. If you're like I was in high school, you thought you were real cool expressing your right to not say the pledge like the other countless sheep. Lo and behold, several years, maturity,... | 9 | 2.222222 | |
1365890240 | 1365954169 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | axnymphetamine: TIFU By doing the hair flippy thingy. I only gave my self terrible whiplash..
Feeding my one month old daughter and my hair falls into my face. I try to do the hair flippy thingy, where you 'flick' your neck quickly, to get it out of my eyes. I now have terrible whiplash and cannot look down at my daugh... | 3 | 13.333333 | |
1365907041 | 1365907590 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | LemonyLollipop: TIFU and dozed off for ONE SECOND while driving
Album http://imgur.com/a/VjBZf
So im driving home from work, get withing one minute of my house, and promptly doze off and drive off the road. My truck then answers the call of the wild and becomes friends with a tree stump causing my truck to spin, flip a... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1365901336 | 1367100794 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | stormtide311: TIFU by getting a boner at the park with my gf.
A very busy park lol. I was with my gf whom I havent seen in two weeks since shes been out of town. Well she was very touchy/feely on me just kissing and hugging me when sure enough mr.wood made his appearance. I was wearing basket ball shorts and I am sure ... | 6 | 1.833333 | |
1365915202 | 1365922698 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by having to go to the bathroom during school.
I was in class and I really needed to use the restroom suddenly. Normally I don't go in public restrooms as I'm incredibly pee-shy, but this was an emergency.
I ran into one of the stalls, whipped my dinglehopper out and went to town. In my haste, I had co... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1365922679 | 1365966702 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | josh_legs: TIFU by shooting a nail from a nail gun into my hand
Yeah, that just happened a couple hours ago. Me and some coworkers are building a tank stand for a 120 gallon fish tank (it will be a saltwater). So I was busy slapping stuff together (link : http://imgur.com/a/ATTIB ). I was working on the door, using a b... | 4 | 0.25 | |
1365936871 | 1366077301 | null | t5_2to41 | 169 | Erik007: TIFU by trying to show my wife the biggest poop I ever created...
The last two or three days I had been constipated because of a new medication by doctor prescribed me. I literally did not go shit for three days, finally when I did; it felt as though I was giving birth to something horrifically unpleasant. A... | 4 | 42.25 | |
1365948982 | 1365979907 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | themeowzart: TIFU by trying to see the aurora borealis.
Last night I heard that the northern lights would be visible in my area. I thought it would be fun to sit outside and have some wine with my best friend. I'm currently dogsitting for a family friend who has a nice place in the middle of nowhere--perfect for viewin... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1365912299 | 1365958754 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | eman201: TIFU by thinks I broke my computer.
Hey all.
So today I was trying to update my Java on my Windows 7 computer. I screwed it up without knowing. Later that day my little brother tried to play Minecraft. Something pops up saying "couldn't locate Java" blah blah blah. I, instinctively, reboot the computer. Just i... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1365949681 | 1366044449 | null | t5_2to41 | 887 | Bscott411: TIFU: by vomiting on the interstate.
I was at work recently and started feelinging ill. My stomach was really sour so I decided that a pack of peanut butter crackers from the vending machine would help, they were the near neon orange kind. After and hour I wasn't feeling any better so I decided to pack it in... | 9 | 98.555556 | |
1365957376 | 1366003612 | null | t5_2to41 | 150 | kdiuro13: TIFU by taking a spill at a wedding.
I recently began working as a waiter at a local banquet hall this month. I had just finished being trained by the other waiters and was ready to begin, though I am not the most graceful person. The owner is a real hard nose, but it is usually no worries as he stays in hi... | 4 | 37.5 | |
1365961870 | 1365988102 | null | t5_2to41 | 56 | passionlessfruit: TIFU by getting blackout drunk
I guess this was technically last night. I got incredibly drunk last night, eventually culminating in me passing out in the middle of campus. I woke up getting arrested for underage consumption, and having to spend the night in jail because it was so late and nobody coul... | 5 | 11.2 | |
1365964693 | 1365968210 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by putting a pair of pliers into my peehole and opening them, ripping peehole in process.
It seems to have fixed itself in three hours. It's still freakishly big though.
FrostySack: I...you...but...inside...what...huh?
TheButtonPusher: Tried urethral sounding, was wondering how far i could open it up.
... | 6 | 1.333333 | |
1365962348 | 1366697373 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | ToniDoubleYou: TIFU making peach cobbler. I used baking soda instead of baking powder (flour.)
I have to stop getting drunk in the kitchen...
EDIT: TIFU twice so far that I know of. As some of you kind folks mentioned, baking powder isn't flour...
Inquebiss: Wait . . . what?
You used baking soda instead of baking po... | 8 | 2 | |
1365977248 | 1366090307 | null | t5_2to41 | 181 | Jovial_Bison: TIFU by doing someone a favor.
We were hosting a party for a roommate's friend's birthday. I found out about it a week in advance when I was invited to the event on Facebook only to discover she had invited 72 people. I set up some terms saying she had to trim the guest list and people couldn't be too lou... | 7 | 25.857143 | |
1365983004 | 1365983373 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | midnightbeast: TIFU by talking to a dolphin
This actually happened yesterday but anyway:
I was at sea world and the dolphin started talking to me, attempting to persuade me to dive into the water. I eventually gave in and got arrested.
Never listening to dolphins again.
AnarchicPandas: wut?
midnightbeast: It happens ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1365915399 | 1366924951 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | notmybestday: TIFU by smashing into the neighbors' car.
First some background: My maternal grandfather was killed in a freeway accident 13 years ago, and it rattled my mom. She always needs to know where I am, who I'm with, who's driving.
I am a 16 year old male and I've had my license since August. I live on a hill, ... | 4 | 0.5 | |
1365990593 | 1366063236 | null | t5_2to41 | 391 | SEGnosis: TIFU by writing and submitting a 1,600 word paper when only a 2 paragraph outline was due
PiggyBankofDespair: Clearly you've learned the value of brevity.
TheDogwhistles: >You've learned the value of brevity.
FTFY.
kosure: Brevity: key to wit.
[deleted]: Brevity = wit
Shin-LaC: Brewity.
DrKoolaide: Brit
... | 8 | 48.875 | |
1366003338 | 1366156765 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | SkyWarped: TIFU by going to the dentist.
I went to the dentist in basketball shorts thinking nothing of it. Well me being a teenage boy had a single dirty thought for HALF A SECOND, and got rock hard. I don't know if the dentist noticed or not because she was working on my teeth of course, but im almost positive she di... | 6 | 5.333333 | |
1366009166 | 1366065651 | null | t5_2to41 | 152 | TheatreOfDreams: TIFU by celebrating a FIFA goal and breaking my friend's Xbox.
So it's a weekend night and we're having a regular FIFA session on the Xbox 360 before we head out to the bars.
We have invented this creative FIFA drinking game where you play 2v2 and each time a team concedes a goal, both members of tha... | 8 | 19 | |
1366015714 | 1366050255 | null | t5_2to41 | 544 | BaconMcTryhard: TIFU by eating 1.6 litres of ice cream, on my work break.
Basically, i bought a container of Breyers triple chocolate ice cream, and opted to eat all of it in one sitting. I then proceeded to spend the next 20 minutes shitting what seemed to be the entire contents of my bowels throughout the week into t... | 5 | 108.8 | |
1366033537 | 1366052067 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | chaosunicorn: TIFU: by letting my friends play on my PS3 causing one of them them to destroy it after losing (video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vn0qysWCeA&feature=youtu.be
.. at 1:23 for the actual action of the video
LucidWindspark: All he did was stomp on the ground..?
chaosunicorn: He actually stomped the p... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1366040849 | 1366051024 | null | t5_2to41 | 56 | TranFoTran: TIFU by chugging a gallon of milk
EDIT: This actually happened a while ago, but I wasn't on reddit, so now I'm posting it here
This morning, I decided that I wanted to get buff. I looked up how to gain weight and I found something called GOMAD. It basically said that if I drank a gallon of milk a day, I wo... | 4 | 14 | |
1366046786 | 1366146240 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | tamazuru: TIFU by telling a fellow student how to copy&paste.
So basically today I had my first partial exam at biomedical informatics. The test was utterly easy and at some point a fellow student and colleague called my name and asked me: "Dude how do you copy and paste!?" to which I promptly replied: "Like everyb... | 7 | 1.714286 | |
1366050761 | 1366129330 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | throwayshampoo: TIFU by getting shampoo on my johnson
last night I took a shower and I was shampooing my hair, and some dripped down right on to my stomach and creeped all the way down. I washed myself off (quickly, because I've made this mistake before) and thought everything was fine.
This morning I woke up to go pe... | 5 | 5.6 | |
1366050949 | 1366237584 | null | t5_2to41 | 180 | asharkey3: How come there hasn't been a "Fuck up of the Week" for a month now?
As the Title says. No winners since March 9th? Just wondering where that went.
[deleted]: Not much worthy fuck ups, only 'I shat myself" posts.
asharkey3: Gotta be a winner though right? Might not be as good as some other weeks but there wer... | 9 | 20 | |
1366054132 | 1366145428 | null | t5_2to41 | 105 | assmangler: Tifu by misusing my toothbrush
I had a party at my dorm last night with a couple of my mates.got shitfaced.threw up.brushed my teeth.dropped my tooth brush on the ground.later on my buddy was throwing up in the bathroom and i thought it would be funny to shove a toothbrush up his ass.now remember i was drun... | 5 | 21 | |
1366056430 | 1366148270 | null | t5_2to41 | 929 | redhottt66: Tifu and fell asleep naked with my kitten in the room...
I usually don't let her sleep in my room but I recently had her fixed. I felt bad and let her climb in bed with me and went to sleep. Next thing I know I am woken up by excruciating pain in my right nipple. She had climbed under the blankets to suckle... | 16 | 58.0625 | |
1366059390 | 1366407191 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU when I thought that my test was on the last few chapters when it was actually a cumulative final. I failed it and have to take it next semester... for the third time.
Pretty self explanatory... the professor wasn't real clear in class, but low and behold the syllabus clearly states "cumulative" final. I... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1366062846 | 1366142523 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,355 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting a bj.
A minor fuck up, but one nonetheless.
Happened yesterday. It was my birthday and I went to lunch with the girlfriend (we'll call her L) and her parents after church (her father is a pastor and we live in Georgia, keep that in mind). We decided to meet the parents back at their place af... | 12 | 112.916667 | |
1366065731 | 1366945607 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | Troll-bi-wan-kenobi: TIFU by projectile shitting on a bush and a roof
So last night I smoked a couple grams with some friends on the way to another friends house. By the time we got there, the munchies had definitely kicked in so the first thing we did was check my friend's pantry. I found 4 boxes of Oreos so I grabbed... | 5 | 7.6 | |
1366065716 | 1366067819 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | Dynomite333: TIFU by exploding a test tube in an 8th grade science class.
I was in 8th grade science class. We are in our chemistry unit and we have to figure out what chemical we have by running tests on it. We were put in groups that we made. The group I am in consists of fairly trusted students; including me. Little... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1366062061 | 1366209232 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU and am now a wasp's little bitch.
Just a few seconds ago I was opening up my trailer for a concession stand at a local rec center. I noticed a wasp and easily got it to go out the window.
Sure enough there was another one inside the trailer so I grabbed my school folder to kill it with. The wasp kept ... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1366066495 | 1366113836 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | The_R4ke: TIFU by slicing off a dime size piece of my finger tip
I was sitting in my room and was feeling bored, so I decided to start playing with a razor blade for me DE razor. I had already cut a small triangle into a business card and I was going to cut it in half down the center when it slipped and cut off a dime ... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1366071177 | 1366072918 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU my virginity nsfw
this was last night but within the last 24 hours.. the most degrading thing ever. So there i am in a girls house who snuck me in and things start to get heated. i was sorta confused at the sex proccess because i have no prrevious knowledge, just porn i guess. she is totaly naked and my... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1366065226 | 1370934230 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | shinken0: TIFU by peeing in the stall and getting piss water in my eye.
I am a man, and I am a urinal guy. I never use the stall unless a number two or there are no other options. I was tired and stupid and I was playing with my pee like many of us do, and I slightly squatted down to see how low I could go while stil... | 6 | 1.666667 | |
1366075278 | 1366083701 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving my windows down.
It's been pretty hot where I live lately, and getting into my car after it's been sitting in the sun is like crawling into an oven. So yesterday, I left my windows partially unrolled while I was at home, as I was planning to go out for groceries later. Unfortunately, my plans... | 3 | 11 | |
1366077830 | 1366131711 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | kronostop: TIFU by not sleeping with a hot girl!
I had only met this girl a few times and thought she was totally hot. She initiates the exchanging of numbers so I decided it is a good enough sign to ask her out for some drinks and dancing. She is down and I of course am stoked. I have really no idea who this girl is a... | 4 | 8.5 | |
1366083894 | 1366224661 | null | t5_2to41 | 57 | minsmcgee: TIFU by trolling craigslist mfw
So today, I'm trolling CL because I haven't had sex in over a year and a half and it's just sort of gives me this weird glimmer of hope, like HEY! There ARE people around you that want to have sex! And yes, I know CL is a big, gross, disgusting trainwreck...that is kind of fun... | 5 | 11.4 | |
1366091095 | 1366170682 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | HAND92: TIFU by hot gluing my finger to my lip
My daughters birthday is coming up so we decided to make a pinata out of cardboard. Well taping it wasn't working so we decided to hot glue some of the places that the tape didn't want to stay on. Well hot glue dribbled down the side so I used my finger, like the genius I ... | 4 | 7 | |
1366119469 | 1366174020 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | Granpafunk: TIFU - by drinking at a wedding
This was actually Sunday, but who's counting?
This past Sunday a coworker and friend of mine got married. Beautiful ceremony, right on Tampa Bay etc etc.
Open bar weddings are my favorite.
I get pretty shitty at the reception along with a lot of other people. We closed t... | 4 | 13 | |
1366118096 | 1366142846 | null | t5_2to41 | 425 | sobakedlol: Followup to being ripped at work (love you guys)
Hello TIFU, I'm here to followup and not be a scumbag OP! It was a crazy weekend - between birthday extravaganza celebrations and all this fucked up stuff happening in Boston I haven't had time to post a followup to [me being baked off my ass at work](http:/... | 5 | 85 | |
1366120180 | 1366298230 | null | t5_2to41 | 201 | [deleted]: Tifu taking NyQuil instea of DayQuil.....
I woke up still with the cold I had taken NyQuil night before. Decided I needed more medicine. Took what I thought was DayQuil (didnt look just took the pills from the bottle, had unpackaged a bunch of NyQuil and DayQuil into my pill bottle). Drove to work about an ... | 5 | 40.2 | |
1366129302 | 1366202422 | null | t5_2to41 | 841 | [deleted]: TIFU - Got stung by a bee, punched myself in the nuts, swore at a little old lady
I'm typing this one handed because my left hand is in the process of swelling up....
About 5 minutes ago I was in the back room of my office building pulling the files for a few of my clients... Rested my hand on top of one of... | 6 | 140.166667 | |
1366133895 | 1366232360 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | Larrygiggles: TIFU by not going to the dentist for almost 10 years
Years without insurance, and then forgetting to make an appointment once I *had* insurance has left me with cavity riddled teeth. And now I've got a $10K treatment plan that has to go in effect before some of my teeth start falling out.
Word to the wi... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1366137620 | 1366221369 | null | t5_2to41 | 96 | i_am_thatgirl: TIFU by blowing my boyfriend
I wanted to give my boyfriend an amazing blowjob while he played pokemon on his gameboy because he once told me that was his fantasy. I was a little too drunk and deep throated him and puked all over his perfect penis. I cleaned him up and finished him off but then I threw a ... | 5 | 19.2 | |
1366140218 | 1366254730 | null | t5_2to41 | 63 | TIV4MAIL: TIFU- By making advantage of my schools fuck up
Well so I'm a dutch guy studying in Utrecht. So in January this year my school fucked up.
I suspect the following happened:
1. Blond girl studying dermatology needs models with acne for her assignment
2. She goes to ask if she can send a mail to all 16k stud... | 19 | 3.315789 | |
1366080002 | 1366165521 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | blacmagick: TIFU by having my mom find a drawing i made of a naked woman
First off, this was back when i was probably 10. TL;DR at the bottom
It all started when my friends came over and we pulled an all-nighter. We were in the basement watching TV. The show we were watching ended and we started changing the channels ... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1366168681 | 1366184110 | null | t5_2to41 | 280 | M0T0RB04T: TIFU by febreze-ing my dick
Okay so this morning I got up late for class and decided that I could skip a shower and just do the ol' wet-my-hair-down-and-put-a-shit-ton-of-deodorant-on-to-make-it-seem-like-I-showered. It worked well enough and my day went on normally.
After class I get a text from my new-is... | 4 | 70 | |
1366174496 | 1366249189 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: Started a controversial discussion with two girls
saac22: First of all, not all guys are the same, and not all girls are the same.
Why don't I want to be treated like an object? Because it's not goddamn 1782. I'm not generally all hardcore feminist, but seriously my lady ancestors did not fight for my righ... | 6 | 1.166667 | |
1366172560 | 1366323541 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU by heating up plasticine and throwing it at my roof
Today I had a 5 year old nephew over and he really loves sculpting monsters, so i decided to bring out some plasticine to build some out of. Within 20 minutes I had begun to throw little pieces the size of marbles at my window, and they would stick gre... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1366186588 | 1366260140 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | firebirdse2003: TIFU< I spent $1,000 breaking up with my GF moving her into her own house>
My now Ex ( we can call her G ) and I have been together on and off for 6 years. We have 2 little girls. One is mine and she is almost 4. The other is not mine and is almost 10 months. Our new house is very nice compared to... | 8 | 1.125 | |
1366164000 | 1366187971 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | Northsidebill1: TIFU - I opened the wrong end of the curry container while making dinner.
So I would like to go ahead and apologize to my asshole for whats going to happen to it a number of hours after I eat dinner. I had everything going nicely and wasnt paying attention and opened the wrong flap on the curry containe... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1366179974 | 1366392229 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | Locrian_DM: TIFU - By drinking from an unmarked bottle
The thread below from /r/askreddit made me think of this story. it's over 3,000 comments deep, but I still wanted to share the wisdom we gained that day without it getting buried. I figured you guys would like this.
**WARNING : It's a long one!** I'll break it ... | 5 | 5.4 | |
1366201946 | 1366220867 | null | t5_2to41 | 314 | [deleted]: TIFU by pouring pepsi on my shit-stained mattress
So, I have had stomach problems lately due to [this fucking dickhead](http://seabirdstruck.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/jackfruit-pic-1.jpg) of a fruit. It's loaded with fiber, and I haven't had a solid shit in 3 days.
Fast forward to last night. I wake up... | 7 | 44.857143 | |
1366220438 | 1366319557 | null | t5_2to41 | 683 | katoso22: TIFU by washing a pillow.
Thought I would make my sleeping situation better with a bit of freshing up. Little did I know the horror that awaited after the spin cycle. A goose was murdered here! The casing was obliterated feathers, feathers, all over the room. The sick anticipation of waiting until my wife... | 10 | 68.3 | |
1366222632 | 1366282739 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,307 | laststandman: TIFU by "checking out" a high school girl
I'm a sophomore in college, and during the spring my school usually has a lot of tours for prospective students. Now I'm a huge sports fan (especially hockey) so my eyes are naturally drawn to t-shirts with sports logos on them.
So I'm leaving my building this mo... | 9 | 145.222222 | |
1366229484 | 1366419208 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU and set my trash can on fire.
TIFU because I felt like smoking a bowl of herb. I got my piece out and noticed it had a little "pipe tobacco" left in it. I finished off the last little hit, cashed the bowl into my hand and then put the ash in the trash. I casually go about loading the next bowl when ... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1366232446 | 1366259018 | null | t5_2to41 | 122 | BuffyPilotKnob: TIFU by microwaving a potato.
I actually did this 2 days ago. I put a potato in the microwave, and used the potato shortcut button. I hit the button once, for quantity 1, and hit start. I didn't think about the fact that I was cooking a small, red potato, and not the standard russet that the microwav... | 5 | 24.4 | |
1366226512 | 1366254982 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | trouphaz: TIFU by preheating way too much
Last night my wife and I were going to meet with my kids' teachers. We had a few minutes before so I wanted to cook up some steaks for the kids and my mom who was watching them. I tossed the cast iron pan on the stove and turned it on high to heat it up. I have an electric s... | 5 | 4.6 | |
1366231917 | 1367519108 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | awaythrowsredditer: TIFU by almost sending a very naughty photo to my mother via text.
I was sitting across the room from my husband, both of us playing on around on our phones, when I decided it would be a good idea to send him a naughty photo I took for him. I was feeling a little frisky, so I immediately opened up ... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1366230607 | 1366314400 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | Locrian_DM: TIFU - By leaving a "marital aid" in the bathroom at eye level
NSFW
This one actually happened last year. My brother was staying the night and went to take a shower in our guest bathroom. I had used said bathroom the day before while my wife was out. Apparently I had left a toy in there (not one of the ... | 4 | 7.5 | |
1366243460 | 1366342581 | null | t5_2to41 | 72 | upnorth15: TIFU by saying "that guy probably thought I was retarded" without realizing I was surrounded by members of the Special Olympics.
I went to Wendy's and in the process of collecting my order managed to knock over my drink, drop my keys, then drop my sunglasses. When I sat down I said to my friend, "that guy pr... | 4 | 18 | |
1366262783 | 1366391198 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU by pooping in a bag
I needed to shit, toilet was clogged beyond my abilities to unclog, couldn't get to a bathroom in another building, car is broken so I can't drive....so I took two walmart bags and sat down in my room and just shit in one of the bags. It was an awful, burning shit due to the amount o... | 4 | 8 | |
1366243037 | 1366313109 | null | t5_2to41 | 43 | Narwhal-Slayer: TIFU by almost blowing up my bathroom and burning myself.
Today my apartment's cold water had to be turned off due to mysterious reasons. Everything was fine until the moment I was going to take a shower - You know, it's Wednesday, time for my weekly bath. I completely forgot about the lack of cold wate... | 5 | 8.6 | |
1366265584 | 1366315278 | null | t5_2to41 | 121 | anteriorcruciate: TIFU by donating blood and/or eating macaroni and cheese
I apologize in advance for any formatting errors, I'm on my phone.
Both of my classes today were cancelled, and I wasn't scheduled to work, so I figured I should so something productive with my time and decided to go donate blood. Not a big de... | 4 | 30.25 | |
1366292354 | 1366317881 | null | t5_2to41 | 799 | soulruler: TIFU by not talking to my wife
In November we finally moved into our new house that has a man made koi pond in the back. Fast forward to the "spring" (I put that in quotes given how crazy the weather has been in the Northeast) and we decided to clean it out and fix it up, as it hadn't been well maintained in... | 10 | 79.9 | |
1366304325 | 1366330797 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | periodotot: TIFU By Doing
SuperSpaceSloth: I won't downvote you as a protest
periodotot: Nooooooooo. Bu why?
SuperSpaceSloth: As a sort of educational measure. You wont get everything you ask for.
Didnt expect that, hm?
*Feeling like a total badass now*
periodotot: Thanks for the upboat though.
| 5 | 0.2 | |
1366308554 | 1366334409 | null | t5_2to41 | 98 | troehwehh: TIFU-by being honest with my girlfriend at the worst possible time
Last night, my girlfriend and I were crawling into bed. It had been a long day for the both of us and she had just gotten off her period, so we're both looking forward to the sex. I start by going down on her, as per usual. Everything is g... | 5 | 19.6 | |
1366313622 | 1366322878 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | Throwaway763925: TIFU Might get expelled and will be watched for the rest of my life.
So a few days ago in last period we were just hanging out in the art room waiting for dismissal. Since I am the one who usually says random things to see peoples reaction (not to hurt anyone's feelings). I come up with the genius idea... | 5 | 13 | |
1366311102 | 1366339613 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | onecharmingschmuck: TIFU by not using spell check.
For the past month or so I've been on the job hunt so I've been attaching an electronic copy of my resume to every job I've applied at. When I went to make some revisions today spellcheck notified me that I had misspelled "knowledgeable", so I've been sending out my r... | 4 | 10.25 | |
1366307808 | 1366385258 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by almost loosing a horse.
So I was out on the trails with my old riding instructor and a couple kids and a friend of mine. The kids were on two ponies that could care less about where they were going. They just plod along at their own pace.
The riding instructor walked along with them and my friend a... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1366319969 | 1366356066 | null | t5_2to41 | 881 | [deleted]: TIFU by having my ass explode at work...at my desk.
So here I am minding my own business at work when a feel the need to let out a little squeaker. Didn't feel abnormal and I had no rumblings of the tummy, but when I pushed it felt, different, not sure what was going on I ventured further into the unknown a... | 6 | 146.833333 | |
1366326115 | 1366341992 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | MadSocietyKing: TIFUpdate by wishing someone the happiest birthday possible
Well Reddit, it's been a long time hasn't it. Well guess what? She still hasn't said a damn thing to me. I sent one apology letter per week, but to no avail. I quit. I give up trying. She'll reply if she really wants to tak to me, and if she ne... | 4 | 3 | |
1366337535 | 1366348503 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | Bemy_Gunshot: TIFU by lending me phone to my girlfriend.
EDIT: Lending *my* phone. Sorry.
I'm in college. Yesterday in art class there were some high school girls talking with the professor. They were kind of good looking. So, as the dumb man that I am, I texted a friend telling him about these girls with the meme pic... | 7 | 9.285714 | |
1366333411 | 1366520081 | null | t5_2to41 | 59 | cockpimples: TIFU by attempting to ged rid of a zit... on my penis
I first noticed it yesterday. I have no idea what it could have been from, but there it was: A penis pimple. It was about mid-shaft and had a white head. Naturally my first instinct was to pop it like any other pimple. Bad idea. The white did not come o... | 7 | 8.428571 | |
1366336834 | 1366401416 | null | t5_2to41 | 538 | kristafer825: TIFU by spilling boiling water on my boob
I am 5'2". A lot of standard household activities involve standing on my tip toes, or at least getting a chair. I have always wished I was taller, but guys always tell me they prefer short over tall, so we'll go with that.
Now imagine little old me, just innocent... | 14 | 38.428571 | |
1366337018 | 1366381808 | null | t5_2to41 | 82 | sonicx2218: TIFU By Showing Off for the past 2 years
I'm Italian, yet the whitest kid in my family. I discovered awhile back that I never sunburn, no matter what. I also don't tan very easily either. I would go with friends to outside festivals or concerts without sunscreen on, and by the end my friends would be all bu... | 3 | 27.333333 | |
1366341570 | 1366345385 | null | t5_2to41 | 298 | wergerfebt: TIFU by having nose sex with Satan without proper protection
I'm enjoying a good ol' Italian Beef my mom cooked up, and being me, I like jalapenos and giardiniera and shit on my beef. FAST FORWARD 10 MINUTES: I finish my fantastic meal of deliciousness when I get a nose itch. I decide to wipe my hands on my... | 3 | 99.333333 | |
1366339351 | 1367932200 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | BurpleNurple: TIFU by trailing blood all down my new school's sidewalk
TL;DR: I stubbed my toe in the darkness and bled all over my school, and now I have to pretend it's not my blood every time I walk from class to class.
Here's some backstory for you all. My current girlfriend and I are in secret from our school, o... | 9 | 2.555556 | |
1366345054 | 1366491644 | null | t5_2to41 | 64 | [deleted]: TIFU by wounding my asscrack. [nsfw]
I was in the shower at my boyfriends apartment, and bent down to wash my feet. Underestimated the distance between my ass and the faucet. Totally busted my ass on the little part that you pull up to turn the shower on. I screamed and my hand flew to my ass in pain, then a... | 5 | 12.8 | |
1366338402 | 1366353285 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | poopfax: TIFU by agreeing to have an open relationship with the GF.
I don't know what I was thinking. We live in separate states right now. She asks me if I want to date while I'm over here, and I say no. Then she goes on to say that if I wanted to do it, she'd rather I do it now, while we're apart. So, like the dumbas... | 4 | 16.25 | |
1366345181 | 1370227011 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,812 | SaveGarrett: TIFU by accidentally piercing my dick
So I'm a high school English teacher and I'm in the middle of teaching the trial scene from TKAMB when the zipper on my pants just splits open. Luckily, I'm holding my book so I make my way to my desk and grab a folder and tell my students that I forgot to deliver a ve... | 8 | 226.5 | |
1366330581 | 1366504076 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | cranstonj9: TIFU by sounding like a rapist to a freshman
This girl and I are getting close to making out at a school competition. So i hint that i'd like to, and eventually we get to that point. She tells me then that she doesnt want to make out because someone at her school today got in trouble for it. I then combine ... | 7 | 1.857143 | |
1366350845 | 1366387930 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | kawika219: TIFU by taking a shower
I'm a 6' tall 250lbs college senior. I went to go take a shower when I woke up. After I turned on the water, I noticed that the tub was extra slippery due to a bottle of shampoo conditioner that fell. I tried to "scrub" the conditioner off of the tub with my feet. I began to slip, and... | 3 | 5 | |
1366377739 | 1366394560 | null | t5_2to41 | 57 | wibbles825: TIFU by talking about an ex in the shower with my current girlfriend
She asked about it, as she had heard a little bit about it from a mutual friend. I then proceded to give her detailed accounts of what happened with this past relationship, both sexual and non-sexual, only to get a brief response of, "oh, ... | 6 | 9.5 | |
1366380528 | 1366573549 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | Hypercyde: TIFU by poisoning my dog
Alright, so earlier today I was eating some chocolate chips because I'm too lazy to buy chocolate from a store. Anyway I eat about half the bag and leave it on my nightstand to go meet some friends. I came home about 3 hours later and see that the bag of chocolate is empty and on the... | 6 | 7 | |
1366389120 | 1366412130 | null | t5_2to41 | 320 | Pathfinder09: TIFU by accidentally flying 20 feet in the air.
Ok so a little background first:
I am the head of Set Construction/ Running Crew for my school's technical theater club. Right now we are building the set for Chicago:The Musical. We have these things called "flys", which are weighted ropes that control ba... | 6 | 53.333333 | |
1366415924 | 1366567838 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,089 | lidekstoker: TIFU by using my own shit as a glove
Today I hung out with some friends, one of which was a newly acquainted (fairly attractive) fellow. The others were two good friends and a best friend. Everything was cool, we were having fun. Me being the socially awkward of the group, sat and played video games rather... | 12 | 90.75 | |
1366418480 | 1366525026 | null | t5_2to41 | 126 | gutterbaby: Tifu by leaving an entire 15 inch pizza on my kitchen counter three days after putting my dog on a diet.
I recently had to cut back on how much I was feeding my dog because he had put on a lot of weight over the winter. In the spring and summer he usually spends a great deal of time running in the yard and ... | 4 | 31.5 | |
1366420667 | 1366498861 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking my laptop.
I'm sitting at my desk watching It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. I'm laughing real, real hard. A trophy placed on the top of the shelf above my desk falls from great heights to pierce the heart of my laptops hardrive. I brought it into the Apple store and they gave my 20% the re... | 6 | 5.5 | |
1366434083 | 1366465799 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: Tifu so I shanked I guy
Well I had a fork from lunch (I am in high school) and my best friend sat down in front of me. And i stabbed him in the neck. No reason. Just felt like it. And he started bleeding. So being a good friend, he puts on his jacket so the teacher doesn't see it. But, some girl saw it and s... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1366435098 | 1366732507 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | asf1187: TIFU by making weed firecrackers for the Muse Concert
So today I went to the muse concert with a bunch of friends. One friend got kicked out for using a fake ID. Before we entered the concert we ate the firecrackers and drank water and hoped for the best. (I've made firecrackers many times, but never got a gre... | 4 | 5.25 | |
1366428989 | 1366509233 | null | t5_2to41 | -3 | guruchild: TIFU when a new hire started in my department.
He ran up to me and said,
"HI MY NAME IS DAVE WIG... WIGG.. WUH WUH uh WUH... WIGGERS!"
I laughed for about 5 minutes and then said, "No, seriously... what's your name?" He then began crying.
*Names changed because reddit.
Lukeasaurus: I don't understand... Wha... | 8 | -0.375 | |
1366444054 | 1366445714 | null | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU by ratting out myself and others for cheating on a very important assignment.
In my science class, to prepare for CSTs, my teacher had us work on released test questions in our assigned tables for a grade, but also for extra credit. One of the girls in my group found the answers online, and selfishly, w... | 3 | 0 | |
1366438082 | 1366476278 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | Robo94: TIFU by drunkenly threatening my ex...........
http://i.imgur.com/vAxU3Un.jpg
....Wellp.....
Octopus_Tetris: I'm confused, was it meant for someone else?
iamMess: Nope. Was just an excuse to make it look less serious.
Octopus_Tetris: I mean the first part where you threaten her?
| 4 | 5.75 |
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