start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1366478373 | 1366541928 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,466 | eat_vegetables: TIFU by NoFap (not masturbating) before going on a date.
The NoFap community recommended I post this to r/TIFU
###How r/NoFap ruined my only chance at a potential relationship
A couple months ago, I went on a 2nd date with a girl from OKcupid. Originally we planned to go snowtubing but the snow ... | 10 | 146.6 | |
1366492939 | 1366576431 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | i_so_dope: TIFU by letting my dog pee on another dog's face.
Luckily the owner of the other dog was a chill dude. But I will most likely see him again because we live in the same apartment complex. I am so embarrassed.
Prior to the deed, she was frollicking around with the other dog like a normal, happy puppy. Then... | 3 | 10.333333 | |
1366511816 | 1366618515 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | chaadge: TIFU by shitting my pants at work.
It happened 15 minutes before I made this post. I was outside smoking a cigarette and I felt a fart coming and then I made the mistake of trusting this fart. I let it rip and unknowingly to me this fart contained substance. I finished my smoke and went back inside to do some ... | 5 | 5.6 | |
1366514306 | 1366567303 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | Tyrone91: Tifu by severely overestimating the power of my stomach.
I was with my girlfriend and family today. We had a cousin in town, the source of my fuck up. He brought some fresh jalapeños(which I love) and after some beers, bet me 20 dollars I couldn't eat 10 in one sitting. Well, I thought that was a pretty fair ... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1366519633 | 1366591958 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,300 | _namaste: TIFU by shaving my pubes and getting Cellulitis. (Warning: Gross/NSFW)
[Here is a little illustrated photoset of the journey.](http://imgur.com/a/F8YqY#0)
This started a few days ago, but as it has finally come to a bursting end as of an hour ago, so I feel I am ready to share how I fucked up and got Celluli... | 8 | 162.5 | |
1366522509 | 1366523418 | null | t5_2to41 | -3 | gregpd: I threw a party and my neighbors and it went bad.
neighbors are out of town, kid said i could have a party at his house when their gone. ends up we went all out blacklighted everything and a hole ended up in the wall. i tiny glass bowl got stolen and the garage smells like cigs. hole is fixed but can barely tel... | 4 | -0.75 | |
1366524349 | 1366527054 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | sweaterlvests: TIFU by not disabling spell check
So this guy asked me to be his boyfriend. A heated, tension-filled conversation ensued. Eventually, I turned him down. After all of this, he asked me an unrelated question. I planned on finding out the answer, and so I intended to respond with the phrase "one sec." So, ... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1366526227 | 1366562858 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | ella1993: TIFU by giving my dad the wrong SD card. One contained nice Easter photos, the other contained... very private photos.
**UPDATE** Sorry for the long overdue update! I just wanted to add that this FU wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. A day after posting this my dad called me to ask where there was only music... | 3 | 12 | |
1366532301 | 1366601910 | null | t5_2to41 | 89 | Sohcahtoa82: TIFU by street racing with my girlfriend
My girlfriend and I went to a party tonight, but took separate cars since I was heading there from home and she went there straight from work. On the way home, we were at a stop light next to each other and decided to have a drag race, totally not noticing that th... | 9 | 9.888889 | |
1366534523 | 1366969618 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | xpsdeset: TIFU,Never give a 18 months old baby a tablet to play with
I had to share this before I sleep the whole day.
So I was taking a nap and was left alone with the baby, she's my niece btw.
She won't allow me to sleep and I wanted to sleep as I had been up the whole night.
So I gave her a tablet, she like to pl... | 6 | 3.166667 | |
1366511159 | 1366556405 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | ttoastt: TIFU by not saying I had to go to the bathroom in the car with coworkers
I went on a trip with three people from work, and we decided to have lunch before heading to our destination. The restaurant we chose was about a mile away from where we'd be. Ended up having a turkey sandwich.
So we get done eating an... | 3 | 6 | |
1366548217 | 1366574057 | null | t5_2to41 | 134 | whathappenedwas: TIFU by standing on the upper-level seats of a moving, double-decker bus.
*Posting on behalf my mother, who doesn't use reddit, but could use a laugh.*
NYC double-decker bus photoshoot. Mom's friend is in charge of it; asks her to come along and model. Not something she normally does, but also not out... | 4 | 33.5 | |
1366561024 | 1366597689 | null | t5_2to41 | 279 | saraquael: TIFU by Using a Pocket Hose
I planted some grass seed last week and had to water it. I also bought a Pocket Hose, because although I am neither 5 nor 75 years old, I *am* a lady who does not enjoy lugging 50 pounds of garden hose around the fucking yard. Judge me.
Anyway, I figured this would take all of 5... | 6 | 46.5 | |
1366575568 | 1366733348 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU my roommate now thinks I'm gay.
Today when I got up, I was the only one home. Feeling horny, I booted my computer and opened my safe to get my sex toys. I was gonna have fun with a pocket pussy but I also own 2 dildos of different sizes for prostate stimulation. Fast forward a couple hours, he's home fr... | 5 | 4.8 | |
1366575865 | 1366636654 | null | t5_2to41 | 86 | Blacky_McBlackerson: TIFU by adding about one-fifth of a bottle of Sriracha to my lunch.
It was so tasty but do I really need to go into detail about how much of a fuck-up this will have been in a couple of hours?
EnragedAardvark: Yes, because we need to know whether to reset the counter.
Blacky_McBlackerson: Update: I... | 3 | 28.666667 | |
1366578596 | 1366597929 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | [deleted]: TIFU My alarm went off in church [x-post /r/hiphopheads]
Prentote: I have my alarm set for 11 am on weekend days.
My alarm is Fuck the Club Up by Waka Flocka Flame and the opening of the song went off "I'm just thuggin in the club with my squad bitch we deep" and I hit power off but some of the elderly heard... | 5 | 5.8 | |
1366579973 | 1366655740 | null | t5_2to41 | 54 | IAmTheSnorlax: TIFU by not making a move
This actually happened last week, but I only discovered this subreddit a few days ago, so yeah.
Anyway, I'm currently a senior in college and have only had one serious girlfiend in that time. As far as I can determine, the reason for my lack of a relationship is a combination o... | 5 | 10.8 | |
1366579553 | 1366602602 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,697 | Iieutenant_dan: TIFU by trying to save an animals life
So today I was playing golf with some friends, having a great time and all until I come across a baby turtle that had somehow flipped over in the middle of the fairway. It was pretty hot outside (75-80) so I thought, "Fuck it, I'm saving this little guy." So I pick... | 11 | 154.272727 | |
1366584299 | 1366637292 | null | t5_2to41 | 183 | Tenchi98: TIFU by trying to take down a Football player.
So I'm typing this now because i couldn't use my right arm on thursday.
I'm in Highschool gym class and we are playing football, its only second period and the grass we are on is still wet from the morning dew. I am a Distance runner but we have to play football... | 10 | 18.3 | |
1366588656 | 1366665238 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | cerbeross: TIFU by not looking where I was biting.
I was just eating some steak, watching some TV, and minding my own business when I felt a pain in my tooth. I had bit too far into the steak and ended up biting the fork, and chipping my tooth. It's only a temporary cap on the tooth, and I'm getting the permanents on T... | 6 | 6 | |
1366597200 | 1366645303 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | pyre_tinder: TIFU - I was wanting to try out Linux, and I erased my Windows 7 system, and all my data.
I have been wanting to get into Linux and learn more about, so I tried the demo, and it seemed cool. Today I decided to install it on my laptop, and when I was installing it I chose the wrong method, and it deleted ev... | 4 | 4 | |
1366596624 | 1366665131 | null | t5_2to41 | 342 | thisisnothingmore: TIFU by trying to be vegan for a day and then trying to unclog the toilet with my girlfriend's mom's salad tongs..
My girlfriend is a vegan, and I am very much so a carnivore. She respects my decision as much as I respect hers, but she wanted me to try it for a day or two. I don't know if any of you ... | 11 | 31.090909 | |
1366602130 | 1366604897 | null | t5_2to41 | 93 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting drunk and giving my boyfriend mind-blowing sex. Because I was drunk I can't remember exactly what I did or how to replicate it.
So my boyfriend and I usually have pretty vanilla sex.
Two days ago we went to the club with some friends and ending up getting way more tipsy than we should have. ... | 4 | 23.25 | |
1366607513 | 1366751276 | null | t5_2to41 | 357 | [deleted]: TIFU by defending my boyfriend against his mother.
She was berating him in front of other people, and I politely told her, "Don't talk to him like that." Shouldn't have done it because it's not like it changed her view or made her apologetic, and it resulted in an angry woman screaming in my face how much of... | 13 | 27.461538 | |
1366630214 | 1366663448 | null | t5_2to41 | 100 | zfriderici: TIFU by having a "nightmare"
Allow me to set the scene: My friend and I had smoked the night before, and for some reason, this made me an insomniac and I couldn't sleep that night as a result. While he was asleep, I found myself Redditing, reading some good threads/a surprisingly good Dane Cross AMA, and th... | 5 | 20 | |
1366638810 | 1366746046 | null | t5_2to41 | 333 | Frigidor: TIFU by finally say no to someone who needed "computer halp".
Some background; I'm staying at my grandma's for some exams in the local Uni and my uncle (Who's living here, also) asked me to do a website to improve one of his assignments and each time he would talk to me about it I would tell him how I feel 'b... | 10 | 33.3 | |
1366658442 | 1366681252 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,979 | deffsight: TIFU: By chewing on a plastic straw.
So I'm sitting at my desk at work minding my own business chewing on a plastic straw, which I do quite often while working just out of habit. I happened to bite off a piece of the straw, and while the small piece was still in my mouth I accidentally breathed in too hard e... | 10 | 197.9 | |
1366658419 | 1366659913 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | itsme_notmario: TIFU by spilling nature valley crumbs on my keyboard
Not only is it a mess, but now some of my keys are more difficult to press. DAMN YOU NATURE VALLEY
spedione: Try gently removing the keys from the keyboard and cleaning the crumbs out. Be careful, if they are the scissor mechanism, it can be very ea... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1366659540 | 1366676281 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | noseonarug17: TIFU by waking up at 2am and drinking too much coffee at breakfast
**this is really long - you might just want to skip to the tl;dr**
So yesterday by 9:30 I was really tired and decided to get ready for bed (normally I go to bed 11 or later). I think I probably fell asleep a little after 10 but randomly ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1366671545 | 1366752035 | null | t5_2to41 | 47 | jobuski: TIFU by forgetting to wash my hands
So last night, my girlfriend and I were having the sexy times. Since we were in the car, I had prepared for (almost) everything to clean up the mess. I'm congratulating myself for actually having everything to cover up my tracks, thinking "Well fuck, there's no way one will ... | 5 | 9.4 | |
1366673161 | 1366846736 | null | t5_2to41 | 140 | Senorginger64: TIFU by Not Opening A Window
It started off like any other day; wake up, get my clothes on, brush my teeth, head out. The rest of my day was relatively average up until the time I got home. My mom asked me if I could paint my sister's old room so that it would cover of the awful design and ungodly amount... | 6 | 23.333333 | |
1366674920 | 1366732140 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling a guy to fuck off.
So, there I was, sitting in the backseat of a cab, waiting for the light to turn green. I had my earbuds on and the music was quite loud. Thats when I saw this guy with a lab coat and face paint on approach first vehicle in the line of cars waiting, talk to them for a bit, ... | 4 | 16.25 | |
1366679396 | 1366689861 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by cleaning my ingrown toenails
I had my toenails dealt with last year, I had them dug out and snipped. All went well, after a few months my toes felt a lot better. Fast forward to the last few months and my nails have become ingrown again. Damn my father's genes.
Anyway, so I'm cleaning the toenail ye... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1366686712 | 1366786067 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | ShackleJackle: TIFU by eating a pound of clodhoppers
Alright, this was last night that I truly fucked up.
My buddy and I had smoked some pot and got some mad munchies. This led us to an adventure down to Bulk Barn. Once we arrived there we went our ways to find what we wanted to satisfy our munchies with. I decided t... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1366694496 | 1366713115 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | docjones12: TIFU By making my roommate's 84 year old grandmother cry.
I have two roommates where I live and last night one of them wasn't home. Me and my other roommate had a few drinks and, wow, what do you know: there's my roommates computer sitting in the corner.
All of us knew what had to be done. Log in, mess wi... | 4 | 7.5 | |
1366683969 | 1366772481 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | qpalz: TIFU by almost burning my house down.
So I'm in my room and I was burning little pieces of paper on my desk like any teenage kid does. I decided to rip a page out of packet and light it on fire. The fire grows a little too much for comfort and I ended up throwing it out my window to save my room. It lands in a p... | 4 | 3 | |
1366715489 | 1366753318 | null | t5_2to41 | 825 | jarizzle151: TIFU by hiding an Eviltron in my co-workers laptop bag.
So for some time now, I've been working with a few coworkers and we like to play little games with each other. Turing the desktop upside down, reconfiguring office furniture, you know, trivial office humor. So I decide that on April Fools, I'm going... | 44 | 18.75 | |
1366705418 | 1366753037 | null | t5_2to41 | 91 | [deleted]: TIFU: By saying "Fucking..." before remembering I was in a gym with rules against swearing right next to a kid.
I was trying to strike up conversation with somebody at a new gym I'm talking to a few guys that were interested in parkour and letting me join their group. I found out that some of them knew my Co... | 3 | 30.333333 | |
1366728668 | 1366739107 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | penny-lane-: TIFU by dying my hair.
In need of a change I decided to go from dark brown hair to a light blonde and bright orange colour combo. Bleaching went fine albeit damaging to my hair but it'll recover. Now comes the orange. Not realizing just how concentrated this colour was when I dripped onto my shoulder i tho... | 8 | 4.5 | |
1366732528 | 1366748320 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | Merrimux: TIFU by yawning while applying aftershave.
The perfumed bitterness now resides in my gums so I can enjoy the taste all day.
Lamaomgrofl: I've accidentally bitten off a chunk of a bar of soap once. Can definitely understand what you're tasting right now
Zecin: When I was young I intentionally bit off a chunk o... | 8 | 4.125 | |
1366742423 | 1366749197 | null | t5_2to41 | 88 | jgatch: TIFU by accidentaly yelling at a cop.
While crossing the street I heard a voice yell at me from a car. "Watch where you're walking!" I was already in a bad mood so without looking I yelled back "fuck you, you fucking fuck". Next thing I know I hear sirens go off and two cop cars right there.
cobaltcollaps... | 3 | 29.333333 | |
1366746310 | 1366765734 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | nukelauncher95: Last night my friend fucked up while fucking his girl
This is not my fuck-up, this is a true story from my friend last night.
Last night my friend was having sex with his girlfriend when his dick ripped through the wall of her vagina, tore her open her rectum, and she almost bleed to death. It was kind... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1366753043 | 1366793205 | null | t5_2to41 | 618 | brbdead: TIFU by taking a bath
For the past six months I've been plagued by a terrible case of Scabies. I have tried EVERYTHING to get rid of them.. Washing everything I own multiple times, the medicine the doctors give you, tea tree oil, neem oil, borax powder on my clothes.. etc, etc. You get it.
SO TODAY. THe next ... | 11 | 56.181818 | |
1366755361 | 1366775284 | null | t5_2to41 | 93 | FrisbeeThorns: TIFU in front of an attractive stranger.
I was at a fast-food place with my friend and there was a guy working the counter. We decided to buy something and try and start a conversation with him, so I got a slushie. (it's one of those places where they give you a cup and you take it to a machine and push... | 5 | 18.6 | |
1366765760 | 1366955828 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting kicked out of school
My age in 19. I studied this year at a state university in New York. I am a person who enjoys drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana. Not much more than that, but I do indulge in these substances sometimes. Anyways, I went through the entire first semester without getting... | 7 | 2.428571 | |
1366775516 | 1366867581 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | Trannythrowaway1: TIFU at the bar
This was actually over the weekend, but I think it was such a bad fuck up that I made a throwaway to write this, so here goes:
I was at the bar with my friend and his gf. They were both dancing and I was just hanging out by myself basically. Then this girl approaches me and we start d... | 10 | 4.5 | |
1366747171 | 1366805785 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | 1moar: TIFU by telling my friend he wanted to be the filler in a hobo sandwich.
I work in a call center for a large telecom.
IM'ing with my buddy, I got in to a mock ethical debate with him about finding some money. Because I'm just burning some time at the end of the day, at one point I told him to admit it, that he... | 3 | 20.666667 | |
1366797733 | 1366827629 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | AJGatherer: TIFU my egg ramen
I was making ramen, to which I like to add an egg, and I thought I'd do something different: rather than my usual "egg drop" method (where you drizzle a beaten egg into the ramen while stirring), I just dropped the whole egg in. The yolk broke, leaving me with this [abortion](http://seenly... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1366812214 | 1366897375 | null | t5_2to41 | 798 | The_VIRUS_Empire: TIFU by sleeping with my crush
Sounds like a good thing right? I've been talking to this girl for a few months, we talk everyday for hours and I had been to visit her a couple of times before.*IMPORTANT*:she already knows I have a crush on her! Anyway... More recently I've been feeling like there real... | 13 | 61.384615 | |
1366823066 | 1366923545 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | oneilldom: TIFU by licking my girlfriends hand.
Basically my girlfriend is a physiotherapy student and she's currently on placement at a hospital. She just got back and was just stood behind me while I was on the computer with her hand on my shoulder. I was in a funny mood and very naively decided to lick her hand to t... | 4 | 11.25 | |
1366829175 | 1367610909 | null | t5_2to41 | 559 | catchupwiththesun: TIFU by masturbating with a broken vibrator
So this literally just happened. Its mid-day, neither of my roommates are home (or so I thought).
Perfect time for some ME time...right? wrong.
Let me preface by saying I live in an old house, our doors are old and leave gaps between wood floor and door, s... | 11 | 50.818182 | |
1366835472 | 1366920845 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | Dadadala: TIFU by sticking my hand in the blender while it was on.
(This happened 2 months ago before i made my account) I was making a spinach smoothie and there was some unblended spinach on the side of the blender. So I used my finger to push it into the mix, while the blender was still on. I didn't realize how tall... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1366817262 | 1366837528 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | mustangwolf1997: TIFU with a guitar. I'll let the story tell the rest.
Soooooooooooo...
Yeah.
I like to play guitar.
Actually I LOVE to play guitar.
But my guitar decided to get revenge on me for constantly plucking at it's strings.
First off, I was in guitar class, and I was trying to log into my school laptop to... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1366837894 | 1366838692 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | Baseking5646: TIFU by sending a text to my dad
So today I accidentally sent a text to my dad. this text was meant for one of my friends. To make things worse the friend also dealt... long story short my dad got the text that was meant for my dealer.
Im not worried about my dad... its what happens if my step mom finds... | 4 | 9.5 | |
1366838219 | 1366851414 | null | t5_2to41 | 109 | eflaves: TIFU (and for the past month) on the sandwiches I make at work, by abbreviating "classic Italian" as "cl.it."
edit: i've been working at this Italian deli for a month. It's not like one day I decided to be trickerish and I've gotten a sick thrill from it since.
JodeasXD: Did you just wake up after a month and... | 5 | 21.8 | |
1366838989 | 1366864971 | null | t5_2to41 | 198 | BalzackMcgee: By smoking out of my window
[deleted]: I don't believe this story. I'm calling shenanigans.
KH10304: I anticipated this sub wouldn't believe me so I [photographed](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) my shameful state.
RigaudonAS: Lel nice trolllell!
KH10304: [http://www.imgur.com/Ibangedyorm0mz]... | 7 | 28.285714 | |
1366835353 | 1366908847 | null | t5_2to41 | 176 | brianloveswords: [meta] Almost two months without a Fuck Up of the Week?
Can we convince the mods/admins to update the FUotW more frequently? There have been some classic fuckups in the past few weeks and it'd be great to see them on the sidebar.
xDarkFlames: I already messaged the admin. He told me he is busy with lif... | 6 | 29.333333 | |
1366844250 | 1367280295 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | srowawayacc: TIFU by breaking my arm while I was masturbating, with a surprise visit from a family member
I guess you could say this all started yesterday, I took my girlfriend to the cinemas, paid for a movie and in the middle of it she just whispered to me that we were over because I had eaten all the popcorn.
Ther... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1366850331 | 1366955549 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | bootsiekitty: TIFU by trying on clothes.
Today I was wandering through the mall, when a cute dress caught my eye. Being a girl, I had to try it on, for kicks.
I get into the dressing room, locking the door so no one sees my unmentionables, and start to change.
Right as I get down to my underwear, I see a pair of li... | 5 | 7.6 | |
1366855096 | 1367006663 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | whodatjustmybabydad: TIFU by popping a zit
My earlobe started feeling funny this morning so I went to the bathroom to assess the situation. Turns out I had one of those incredibly painful, annoying, under the skin zits. So mystery solved. I should have stopped there, but no. I had to get that fucker out of there.
I po... | 5 | 9.2 | |
1366853033 | 1366919396 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by clipping a hangnail
This didn't actually happen today, but on Valentine's Day. I'm a bit of a nutcase when it comes to order and cleanliness and it drives me nuts when my fingernails are uneven from anything. So, after I came home from school that day, I noticed a hangnail on my left thumb. Of cou... | 3 | 4 | |
1366859040 | 1366876233 | null | t5_2to41 | 152 | EnjoiThisGirraffe: TIFU Asking a girl if she has a sister...
Some background information: a friend of mine made this stupid joke about asking if someone has a sibling if that sibling is brought up in conversation, example:
>"ya my brother did something or other"
>"You have a brother!?"
Also, a few weeks ago, th... | 4 | 38 | |
1366850337 | 1367266666 | null | t5_2to41 | 53 | shuritsen: TIFU by spraying my privates with hair spray.
Getting ready to go to work, noticed my section down under could use a nice freshening to get it nice and comfy so my junk doesnt stick to my legs. Now, here's the fuck up. Most people use the big [bottles full of powder](http://media.onsugar.com/files/images/300... | 5 | 10.6 | |
1366864880 | 1366872094 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating taco bell followed by some fiber one bars.
Just waiting for the poop parade to commence.
Asshole_Perspective: Fiber does not cause you to shit, fuckwad. It's chemically inert and only serves as a mechanically active substrate. Furthermore, today you did NOT fuck up, because NOTHING HAPPENED.
R... | 3 | 12.666667 | |
1366863309 | 1366932362 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,453 | Quibbloboy: TIFU by trying to be cool with a lesbian girl
So there's this chick in my Science class. Really nice, really funny, and she happens to be lesbian. This particular girl dropped her pencil and it rolled over to where I was sitting, so I bent down and picked it up and gave it to her good-naturedly.
She said i... | 10 | 145.3 | |
1366869791 | 1366912429 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | Sepoohroth: TIFU by having a tainted dollar in my pocket when a military drug dog came through.
I'm in the Navy working out of an aircraft hangar and today we had the MAs (military police) come through our command with a drug dog. Standard stuff. Well the dog comes up to my desk and he's starting to sniff pretty good, ... | 4 | 17 | |
1366864131 | 1367280009 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | lostintime2004: TIFU by getting an eyelash out of my eye.
So I was getting lunch today at a local sandwich place and felt a sting in my eye suddenly. Now I wear contacts so I ran to the bathroom to investigate. It should be noted that I have long eye lashes, the kind that Maybelline would love to model as, only problem... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1366887802 | 1366940484 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,007 | 2Fab4You: TIFU by masturbating until my house broke
Okay, it wasn't today, it was a while ago now. I was having fun in the shower (ladies, you know what I'm talking about. Dat shower head.). Because I was home alone I decided to take my time, so I was in there, water spraying at full blast, for quite a while.
I was, a... | 16 | 62.9375 | |
1366878627 | 1367540406 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | MacProClub: TIFU by enjoying myself too much at a kid's playground
So I was just heading home from the local pie shop (pies are awesome) and noticed the playground nearby. So, naturally, I decided to go over there and look around to see if there was anything that could be even slightly enjoyable. I saw some bucket thin... | 13 | 5.230769 | |
1366894710 | 1367165616 | null | t5_2to41 | 325 | thirdeyepatch: TIFU by burying my face in my mom's crotch pillow.
So my dear mother has been in the hospital for a month now and my dad, sister and I take turns staying over with her. Tonight was my turn and since there are no beds available for guests at the moment, I fashioned one out of a bunch of chairs and a sleep... | 6 | 54.166667 | |
1366891733 | 1366899674 | null | t5_2to41 | 0 | pumper911: TIFU: Eating dinner last night
I was craving fried chicken. Instead of having a normal sized portion I decided to eat 2 pounds of fried chicken. Bad to begin with, but then I decided to layer on half a bottle of very spicy hot sauce. I'm struggling at work right now and been going to the bathroom all morning... | 3 | 0 | |
1366897600 | 1366951448 | null | t5_2to41 | 795 | [deleted]: TIFU by wearing a tight dress and accidentally playing with my boobs in front of my (male and female) friends.
This actually happened last night but I just realised it.
Prefacing this with a bit of information. I've been having a rough couple of weeks studying/doing assignments so in my intermediary "day of... | 10 | 79.5 | |
1366896864 | 1366915434 | null | t5_2to41 | 121 | OllieTrickett: TIFU by mistaking a stranger for my friend
So i was in the cantine at my college, and i see who i thought was my good Friend, Tom, at the water dispenser. So, naturally, i go up behind him, and since he has his back to me, i think to myself, "I'll creep him out."
So i go right in close to his ear, and ... | 5 | 24.2 | |
1366907968 | 1366942207 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | evilsforreals: TIFU by missing the oral portion of my Spanish Final
So this is how it happened. The week before, I was in our university musical Spring Awakening, which meant performances every night from Wednesday-Sunday. I didn't really get a chance to do my work, so this week I've been in overdrive catching up.
The... | 10 | 2.3 | |
1366909789 | 1366948780 | null | t5_2to41 | 105 | tifuthrowaway1010: TIFU by picking up a transexual hooker
Posting this from a throwaway for obvious reasons, but last night I was feeling rather randy, and decided I would pick up a hooker to get some relief. So I hopped on craigslist and went straight for the casual encounters section. I was also feeling a bit advente... | 10 | 10.5 | |
1366913576 | 1366915145 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by shoplifting wings from a grocery store
I've actually done it about three or four times without a hitch. It's self-serve so I usually just take it along with the other items I paid for and walk out. Today however, I was having some issues paying so I called on one of the store reps for help so he help... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1366916558 | 1375933116 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | mypoorvag: TIFU masturbating, like everyone else here
28/f here. (This matters because I legitimately cannot believe I've lived this long with the capacity of this level of stupidity.)
This morning I decided to give myself an orgasm before work. All is going as usual, rubbing my clit until I get wet enough to start f... | 6 | 4.166667 | |
1366923047 | 1366926842 | null | t5_2to41 | 55 | ihateit6: TIFU by telling my religious father "F*ck you, hail Satan" in the middle of an argument.
Idk what came over me, but we were fighting and he was going on and on about whatever and I just threw my middle fingers in the air and expressed praise towards Lucifer. I am not a Satanist nor do I aspirs to be, but the ... | 3 | 18.333333 | |
1366923771 | 1366937913 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | ouchhhhhhhhhhhhh1: TIFU by "mating" with a tissue box and almost breaking my longfellow.
I laid it on the bed and just started doing it. I was looking at the TV and ya know and I got way too into it, slipped and went forward. My one eyed friend went one way, my body another and I was like "Oh shit". It felt like I bro... | 4 | 6 | |
1366923660 | 1367050573 | null | t5_2to41 | 592 | [deleted]: TIFU and almost blew up a bunch of little kids.
My mother was invited to a party last night by a friend she works with and requested that I come along. I resisted but it was to no avail, my mother is very persuasive. We arrived in the evening to a modest home with a crowd that mostly consisted of adults in... | 7 | 84.571429 | |
1366936129 | 1367007930 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: Tifu by flipping of my coach
so we were putting away lacrosse goals and I felt something hit NY back and it was a bag of dog shit. i turned and flipped of whoever had thrown it before I realized it was the head coach of varsity. he was laughing but the said watch yourself. apparently he was throwing it to ... | 7 | 0.714286 | |
1366941937 | 1367173281 | null | t5_2to41 | 122 | [deleted]: TIFU by yelling at water
Yes, I fucked up today Reddit. The story starts off, a buddy (TY) and I are waiting for another friend (TH) to pick us up from school. TY and I decide to go to the park right across the school once TH gets there since it's a nice day. TH gets there and we make our way to the park to ... | 4 | 30.5 | |
1366945196 | 1366983729 | null | t5_2to41 | 54 | rawkalechips: TIFU by rinsing with listerine
In the spirit of good oral hygiene, I decided to use some of my fine Listerine anti-cavity rinse this evening, which was located on the top of the cabinet in my bathroom. It had no cap, but lots of our stuff has no cap... So I filled up the dispensing top and let it settle ... | 4 | 13.5 | |
1366958155 | 1367012194 | null | t5_2to41 | 4,000 | [deleted]: TIFU by sleeping with my crush.
Last night I was up until 4 am playing counter strike on my laptop, eating doritos and drinking orange crush until I eventually fell asleep mid game.
I wake up this morning to find a terrible smell of cancer-oranges and my shirt stuck to the bed, as well as sheets that were s... | 10 | 400 | |
1366945917 | 1367174223 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | canna-crux: TIFU by not putting my junk away.
So my wife and I haven't been having sex because we just had a kid and she doesn't want to go on birth control just yet as it is can lower the amount of boob juice a woman's divine coconuts can produce.
My wife leaves the house to run some errands so I decide to bust one ... | 4 | 14.5 | |
1366957996 | 1367023314 | null | t5_2to41 | 103 | warbeats: TIFU I Accidentally rode in the L.A. Circuit (Bicycle) race.
This is embarrassing but upon reflection it is kind of funny.
First off, I went on my normal ride last Sunday. part of this ride takes me down a popular biking stretch that as I approached I could see the car lanes were blocked off but the bike l... | 4 | 25.75 | |
1366954677 | 1366991111 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling asleep during a blow job
Actually I pulled this off last weekend on saturday night. Anyway some background. Friday night I go out drinking but have an lsat prep class on saturday mornings so I only have a few drinks and call it an early night. My SO of 6-7 months stays over, we have pretty go... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1366972886 | 1367255916 | null | t5_2to41 | 79 | [deleted]: TIFU By accidentally showing my co worker/boss my boobs
I hadn't seen a co worker of mine in almost 4 months (our department got separated between two buildings and the rest of our department just moved to our brand new building) and we got talking about pets. I told him my mom just got a new puppy who was b... | 4 | 19.75 | |
1366971402 | 1367014316 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | ItWillBeFunTheySaid: TIFU by sitting in my shit covered pants for 30 minutes, and possibly ruining a car seat
A throwaway for obvious reasons.
Tonight, I went to iHop. I usually do this with some friends, late night breakfast. Sit down, chill, shoot the breeze and eat. I get my usual, bacon and eggs, with hash browns ... | 4 | 10.5 | |
1366982593 | 1367035178 | null | t5_2to41 | 108 | Xtaci: TIFU by impersonating an army officer.
My sister is in the Army and has been having health issues. Today she went in to have a surgical procedure done. The procedure took longer than anyone expected it to. Being the nurse of the family they all came to me and asked me to call and see what I could find out. I... | 5 | 21.6 | |
1366985850 | 1367086215 | null | t5_2to41 | 204 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally waxing my ass
Ok, so this wasn’t today, but a few months back.
After spending lots of money over the years for my wife to go to salons and spas and all of those other womanly places to get waxed, I decided it was time to tighten the belt a notch and have her start doing it herself. We b... | 3 | 68 | |
1366948022 | 1367065354 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | AudiOWave: TIFU By waking up at the wrong time of night.
So as a bit of background information, I tend to sleep on the couch in the living room, and pressed up against the back of the couch is my computer desk.
Last night I fell asleep pretty early and wound up waking up around 3am, nothing to unusual. While laying o... | 3 | 12 | |
1366987349 | 1367001274 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting my mothers birthday, then remembering while on mushrooms.
So the night of the 24th I planned on staying up till midnight to call and wish her a happy birthday. I ended up getting sleepy and going to bed. No biggie, I'll just do it the next morning.
The morning came and went. So did the af... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1367002290 | 1367002981 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU (14 years ago) by puking on my boyfriend after the first time i gave head.
It was the first time i gave head and the first time I took one in the mouth. He was really snotty feeling and salty that my gag reflex kicked in and i ended up puking all over his crotch. As I am cleaning him up and apologizing ... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1367001353 | 1367083714 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | [deleted]: TIFU- when my boss caught me sneaking into my job during non business hrs.
Gh
[deleted]: If you have rapport with your boss, talk to her. If not, talk to her with your hr rep present. Any decent company will try to help you.
OfficerGeorgeGreen: Don't do this.
| 3 | 12.333333 | |
1367005319 | 1367111369 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,285 | NewYorkCityGal: TIFU by trusting the guy I was seeing to run to the kitchen before he went down on me...
So let's call him Steve. Steve and I are messing around, clothes come off, and he's about to go downtown. He says "Hang on a second. I want to try something, I'll be right back. Don't move." So I wait. Laying on t... | 13 | 98.846154 | |
1366951552 | 1367066416 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | skunktail: TIFU by assuming someone was on drugs, when they really had a disease.
So I went to a youth rodeo last night and there was a woman sitting behind my aunt and I. The woman looked disheveled, her clothes were older, her shoes were dirty. Her hair was oily, her face and arms had scabs. She smoked cigarette ... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1367027339 | 1367056545 | null | t5_2to41 | 294 | 1fuckup: TIFU by accidentally mailing my conservative Christian father sexual paraphernalia.
Last week, I remembered that my dad's birthday was coming up and decided to be a doll and send him a few of the books on his Amazon wishlist. Added them to my cart. Used the instant checkout method, clicking on his mailing addr... | 6 | 49 | |
1367041982 | 1367880570 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | 430amsuprise: TIFU by getting to high and ignoring the face that I had to pee.
My best friend is home for the first time in four months (she lives two hours away) so we decided to get super high. I get the sensation that I have to pee. I ignore it both because I am ridiculously high and my friend is telling a story....... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1367046530 | 1367083448 | null | t5_2to41 | 122 | Jennywtfman: TIFU by locking myself between two glass doors at work.
I'm an overnight security guard and I have to do building tours throughout the night. So I went to check the lobby doors to make sure they were locked. But to access those doors I have to go through another set of glass doors.
Everything is fine unt... | 6 | 20.333333 |
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