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                              ROCKNROLLA                              Written by                              GuyRitchie                                                June 19, 2007    WHITE Revision   -   6-6-07                                  1.1   INT. DERELICT BUILDING - DAY                                      1    WE MEET:MUMBLES(late 30s) and ONE TWO (late 30s). They are    listening to a sales pitch from two REAL ESTATE AGENTS.    We SEE all the relevant pictures of their pitch explaining a    changing city,LONDON.                            SLICK ESTATE AGENT (V.O.)              Two years ago this property cost one              million pounds.                  (we SEE building)              Today, it costs five million.    Thecamera WHIP PANS over to another part of the building to    see the other ESTATE AGENT giving his pitch. The camera    will keep this back and forth for the duration of the scene.                            OTHER SLICKESTATE AGENT (V.O.)              How did this happen?                  (CUT TO relevant                   pictures as he speaks)              Attractive tax opportunities for              foreign investment,restrictive              building consent and massive hedge              fund bonuses,...                  (beat)              London, my good man, is fast becoming              the financial and cultural capital              of theworld.                            SLICK ESTATE AGENT              And of course the Russians have come              to town.                            OTHER SLICK ESTATE AGENT              Makes it hard to competewith an ex-              Soviet oligarch that has six billion              dollars in his back pocket. They              don't haggle the price, they double              the price.                            SLICK ESTATEAGENT              Russians come, prices rise, and it              doesn't stop. It only goes one way.                            OTHER SLICK ESTATE AGENT              Up.                            SLICK ESTATEAGENT              I can't teach you how to skin a cat,              but I can tell you a lot about the              money in bricks andmortar.                            (MORE)                                                 (CONTINUED)                                                        ROCKNROLLA    PINKRevision    -   6-20-07                                   1A.1   CONTINUED:                                                           1                             SLICK ESTATE AGENT (CONT'D)                 Like he said, it's goingone way.                 You need to see a lawyer.                                                (CONTINUED)                                                           ROCKNROLLA    PINKRevision    -   6-19-07                                2.1   CONTINUED: (2)                                                   1    One Two and Mumbles look at one another.                             ONE TWO              We needto see a Lawyer.2   INT. LAWYER'S OFFICE                                             2    CUT TO a modern looking LAWYER'S office.   We SEE the LAWYER    advising MUMBLES AND ONETWO.                             LAWYER TYPE              They say it's only going one way.3   EXT. STREET - DAY                                                3    ONE TWO and the LAWYER are here looking at thebuilding, it    is a bit dilapidated and bleak.                             LAWYER TYPE              It looks like a great deal.4   INT. LAWYER'S OFFICE                                             4    We cut back into theoffice where the LAWYER lays out the    building plans.                             LAWYER TYPE              These are the plans,...it costs ten              and it'll be worth twenty with              planning. But first you gottagive              the councilor a drink.5   INT. COUNCILOR'S OFFICE                                          5    CUT TO the desk of a COUNCILOR (mid thirties middle    management)who is receiving a brown envelopefrom the LAWYER.                             COUNCILOR                  (off the envelope)              Tell them they'll get the planning,...6   INT. LAWYER'S OFFICE                                             6    We CUTBACK to our LAWYER now smug.    One Two and Mumbles are    standing in front of him.                             LAWYER TYPE              You'll get the planning. Take care              of the councilor and it willmove              like shit through a goose.                                                     ROCKNROLLA     PINK Revision   -   6-20-07                               2A.6A   INT.SPEELER                                                    6A                             ONE TWO               We need help.                             MUMBLES               Lenny Cole?                             ONETWO               Dog number one,...                             MUMBLES               But he moves fast and he loves bricks               and mortar.7    INT. LENNY COLE'SOFFICE                                        7     MEET LENNY COLE(50s, dark, a little tubby), Mumbles and One     Two are here. Lenny's office is kitsch, he fancies himself     as a man ofclass.                             LENNY COLE               I do move fast and I love bricks and               mortar, properties are always the               safe bet, but you better know what               you're doing 'cos thisain't soft               money. You trip up,...                   (beat)               And it's not me that's gonna get               hurt. You got security?                             MUMBLES               We gotproperty.                             LENNY COLE               Don't let me down boys.                   (beat)               Come on then, give us your hand.     They shake hands and sign thepapers.                                                       ROCKNROLLA     PINK Revision   -   6-19-07                                     3.8    INT. COUNCILOR'SOFFICE                                              8     The Councilor is the phone to the Lawyer.      He speaks in hushed     tones clandestine like.                              COUNCILOR                   (intophone)               Can't talk now, but there has been a               problem. I can't get you the               planning.9    INT. LAWYER'S OFFICE                                                 9     The Lawyer is on the phonewith Mumbles and One Two.                              LAWYER TYPE                   (into phone)               I'm sorry boys, can't get the               planning.9A   INT.SPEELER                                                         9A     One two is on the phone.      He looks over to Mumbles.                              ONE TWO               He can't get theplaning.                              MUMBLES               He can't get the planing?10   EXT. DERELICT BUILDING                                               10     Lenny is looking out to One Two and Mumbles who arestanding     outside his car looking very white. Lenny screams from the     back seat.                              LENNY COLE               What do you mean you can't get the               fuckinplanning?                   (pointing)               There is seven million of my cash in               there, without planning it's worth               five,...you owe me. I take the               building, you lose your share, butI               am still outta pocket two large ones.               Find it.     The window goes up and the car pulls off.      Lenny picks up     his phone, he dials huffing andpuffing.                                                        ROCKNROLLA     WHITE Revision   -   6-6-07                                  4.11   INT. LENNY'S CAR --CONTINUOUS                                    11                             LENNY COLE                 Is that you Councilor?                      (Lenny smiles)                 I hear you got that car youwas                 after,....now, sort the planning                 out.                             COUNCILOR (V.O.)                 Sorted Lenny.     He puts the phone down and looks over smiling.     MEET ARCHY     (Lenny'sright hand man, 50s).                             LENNY COLE                 What's wrong with you Arch?                             ARCHY                 That's a bit strong isn't it Len?                 They come from thesame place as                 you, you'll clean 'em out.                             LENNY COLE                 Same place as me? Do I look like an                 immigrant Archy?                     (beat)                 No one gaveme a leg up, did they?                 They need a bit of fear, 'cos                 otherwise they're gonna come up                 against me,...need a little lesson                 don't they?12   INT.SPEELER                                                      12     One Two and Mumbles are here, it's quiet until,..                             ONE TWO                 We gottasell.                             MUMBLES                 And be left with what?                             ONE TWO                 Just gotta start again,....     FADE OUT.13   INT. CORRIDOR OF SPORTSARENA                                     13     Start CREDITS over sports arena entrance.     Lenny is being walked down a corridor, the      walls are lined     with photographs of old soccerstars.                                                (CONTINUED)                                                        ROCKNROLLA     PINKRevision   -   6-20-07                             4A.13   CONTINUED:                                                     13     On each side of him are two ESCORTS(ex-military types, heavy     looking). As they pass each door,we realize where ever he     is going, it has to be important. The ESCORTS talk in to     their microphones and to the different GUARDS on eachdoor     way.                                             (CONTINUED)                                                    ROCKNROLLA     WHITE Revision   -   6-6-07                                5.13   CONTINUED:(2)                                                   13     Every now and then we see the SPORTS ARENA in the back ground.     At last we reach the main door to the head office.14   INT. HEADOFFICE                                                 14     As the door is opened we see a small crowd of MEN in suits     gathered around a kind-looking MAN with bright blue eyes.     He nods a couple of times.     We CUTTO the front of Lenny who is clearly impressed, Mr.     Blue eyes pays him no attention. The small crowd of business     MEN shake hands and head to the door at which Lenny is waiting     patiently.15   INT.SPORTS ARENA -- DAY                                         15     CLOSE UP on the back of URI (Russian Jew, 40s, slick, and     well groomed, he is our Mr. Blue Eyes) overlooking his sports     arena. We stay on the back


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                            THE ARTIST                            Written by                       Michel Hazanavicius    Silent film, illustrated musically,with some title cards to    indicate the dialogues, with actors whose lips move when they    speak although we never hear their voices. The images are in    black and white, in format1.33.1   TITLES                                                       1    The letters of the titles come up on a title card typical of    the 1920s. Elegant motifs around the edge of the frame, and,    in the background, thereare geometrical shapes reminiscent    of the light beams of a film première. Behind is a stylized    town. The titles end in a fade to black. On black, the date    appears on the screen: 19272   INT. LABORATORY -DAY                                        2    In a "futuristic" 1920s laboratory, a man in tail coat and    bow tie is being tortured. Ultrasound is being piped into his    ears. It's incredibly painful! He's screaming.    Titlecard:    I'm not telling!   I won't talk!!!    His torturers, cold men of science in white coats, gradually    increase the volume. The pain seems unbearable, the volume    reaches level 10 (maximum), the man passesout!3   INT. CELLS & CORRIDORS - DAY                                 3    Guards wearing long leather overcoats throw the man into a    cell!    As the man is lying there on the ground, a dog wiggles    through thebars at the window. The dog, a Jack Russell,    jumps on top of the man - visibly his master - and begins to    lick his face. The man opens one eye! When he sees his dog,    he can't help cracking a smile...    The man,now on his feet, looks in pain. Despite the pain, he    motions to his dog who begins to bark in lively fashion.    Outside the cell, the guard looks curious about the noise. He    goes to the door, opens the spy flap andfinds himself face    to face with the man, eye to eye just a couple of inches    apart! The man moves his eyes in such a way that he    hypnotizes the guard! Superimposed on the screen: a spinning    black and whitespiral, until the dazed guard take his keys,    opens the door and releases the man and his dog.                                                                 2.    The man (the hero, thus) imprisons the guard withoutharming    him, then runs over to the guard's desk. His ears are still    causing him pain, but he opens a drawer and takes out his    belongings: a top hat which he snaps open, and a mask, which    he puts over hishead to conceal his eyes.    We catch up with the masked man walking down corridors. He    suddenly stops, copied by his dog who follows him like his    shadow. The man, on his guard, has spotted anotherguard    where two corridors meet.    With a look, he orders his dog to move forwards into the    guard's line of sight. The guard looks over at the animal.    Using his fingers, the hero pretends to shoot his dog.The    dog collapses, plays dead. The guard, increasingly curious,    gets to his feet. He slowly approaches the motionless dog.    When he comes close he is attacked from the side by the hero,    who quickly puts himout of action with a mere punch!    The masked man then rushes to another cell, and releases a    young female prisoner. She too is wearing evening dress. As    she is thanking him he staggers and clutches his earsin    pain. She's concerned.    Title card:    Can I help you in some way?    He refuses.    Title card:    No. I don't get helped.   I give the help around here.    He composes himself. She casts him an admiring glance.Then,    in view of the urgency of their situation, they escape at a    run.4   EXT. HOUSE/LABORATORY - DAY                                       4    They come out of a house that is lost in the hills, climb    into aBugatti sports car that the man starts by rubbing two    wires together, and speed off.5   EXT. ROAD - DAY                                                   5    The car speeds along the road. Its occupants turn roundto    check they aren't being followed.                                                              3.6   INT. HOUSE/LAB - DAY                                           6    The guard who got knocked out picks himself up,realizes what's    happened and dashes over to his office. He grabs a radio    emitter and begins sending a message.7   EXT. AIR FIELD - DAY                                           7    The hero, the young woman andthe dog come to a halt in the    Bugatti on the air field, by a telegraph pole whose wires    lead...to a watch tower.    In the watch tower, a radio receptor is vibrating. A soldier    approaches, listens and suddenlyunderstands! He grabs hold of    his gun and goes out onto the air field, only to find the    fugitives! He tries to shoot at them as he draws closer, but    the hero manages to throw an airplane propeller at him,before    climbing inside where the woman and dog are waiting for him.    The airplane begins to move.    The soldier shoots.    The airplane is positioning itself on the runway, while the    soldier continues to fire!    Theaircraft gains speed.    The soldier is still shooting, but too late, as the heroo pulls    back the joystick, and the airplane takes to the sky...    The soldier is furious, but the hero is all smiles as he looks    back towards theground and shouts something.    Title card: Free Georgia forever!!!    The airplane flies away into the evening sky.8   EXT. AIRPLANE - NIGHT                                          8    A little later in the night, still atthe controls, the man is    fighting not to fall asleep. Behind him, the women is sleeping,    the dog is lying in her arms. Suddenly she is awoken by    explosions happening close by! Pandemonium! The mandoesn't    understand it either, he tries to pick up altitude, but quickly    notices that the explosions are in fact pretty and    inoffensive. He consults a calendar dial on the control panel    that shows it is July 14th,immediately understands, and    bursts into laughter.    Title card: We've arrived, welcome to France!!!                                                               4.     As the music picks up the tune of The Marseillaise,the     airplane flies away through the exploding fireworks...     The words "The End" appear on the screen.9    INT. WINGS MOVIE THEATER LOS ANGELES - NIGHT                   9     From the moment theyparked the car onwards, we become     absorbed by what's happening around the screening of end of     this film.     Behind the screen, we've seen the actor who plays the hero -     his name is George Valentin - closelystudying the reactions     of the audience. He was standing close to his dog, motioning     to it not to make a noise. The dog's name is Jack.     In the same area, we've also seen the lead actress. Her name     isConstance Gray. She too looks tense and is latched onto     the arm of a pleasant-looking man who is chewing anxiously on     a cigar. The man looks rich, but a little weak. He's surely     the producer.10   INT.MOVIE THEATER LOS ANGELES - NIGHT                     10     In the house, much of the audience is open-mouthed, excited,     immobile and often wide-eyed.     In the pit, a symphony orchestra plays toaccompany the film.     (9) Now that the film is ending, and the last note is     sounding, the cast anxiously awaits the audience's verdict,     which, after two or three seconds of silence, bursts into     thunderousapplause, to the great joy of the actor and the     people around him, especially the actress and the producer,     who kiss each other on the lips.     Two theater hands bring down the curtain.     (10) The lights come on.George Valentin comes onto the stage     and acknowledges the audience, they are cheering for him. He     is so happy he dances a few tap steps to express his joy then     he acknowledges the orchestra before finallymotioning to     someone in the wings to join him. Jack the dog trots over in     response. The crowd laughs and cheers, George waves to the     dog, Jack waves back then waves at the audience, the people     areloving it!     In the wings, Constance is fuming with rage, but on stage,     George is pretending with his fingers to pull at the dog, who     fakes death. Thunderous applauseagain.                                                               5.     Behind the actress, the producer can't hold back a smile, and     this enrages the actress still more.     Suddenly, George, hamming it up, rememberssomething he'd     forgotten, and asks someone from the other side of the wings     to join him. It's Constance. She comes over, smiling to the     audience, and says something to George with a smile.     Title card: I'llget you for that.     She waves, but we can tell that her smile is set between her     teeth. She isn't feeling comfortable. George motions firing a     gun with his fingers, but she does not fall down, merely     casts him a"very funny" glance. George looks at his fingers,     not understanding why they don't work anymore then mimes     throwing them away behind him, as though they've become     useless. Constance stalks back off intothe wings in     annoyance, but the audience is ecstatic. Once in the wings,     the actress sticks up her middle finger at George, and     exaggeratedly mouths so he can read her lips: "Put this up     your ass." George,grinning broadly, responds by clapping his     hands in applause, then leaves the stage, executing a few     more dance steps as he does so. The audience is delighted.     As he comes off stage, George gets soundly toldoff by     Constance, but, still grinning, he motions towards the     audience who are still asking for more. The producer,     although delighted by the successful reception, makes a weak     attempt to calm the actressdown. As for George, he returns     to the stage, the audience roars. He pretends to want to     leave the stage, and mimes bumping into an invisible wall     just as he's leaving the stage. George holds his nose,the     audience goes wild, Constance gets even madder, and while     George carries on clowning about, the producer too breaks     into a beaming smile. He's probably realized that George has     the audience on hisside... Constance, furious, storms off. She     is followed by the producer who is trying to placate her,     although it looks like he's got his work cut out for him.11   EXT. MOVIE THEATER LOS ANGELES -NIGHT                      11     Outside, we are in front of a typically American movie theater     decked out with all the accessories of a grand première. The     entrance is lit up, there are crowds gathered on thesidewalk,     cops are guarding the red carpet with a cordon of bodies, etc.     George comes out, causing the crowds, mainly young women, to     press forwards - and the photographers' flashes to spark into     life. Thecops are struggling to maintain control of the     situation as George poses for the photographers and waves at     his many fans.                                                               6.     In the crowd, a young womanright at the front is staring at     him in rapture. She drops her bag and, as she bends to pick it     up, a swell in the crowd pushes her underneath the arms of the     policeman in front of her, out of the crowd and intoGeorge.     She stares at him, more in love than ever, delighted to be     there. The police wait for someone to give orders. George     doesn't quite know what to do. Nobody moves. The young woman     finally burstsout laughing, which, after a moment of shock,     causes George to laugh too, thus placating the cops and tacitly     signaling to the photographers that they can take pictures of     the scene. The flashes seem to lend


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                                            REPO MAN                                           Written by                                            AlexCox                                          Transcript by                                           Steve Farmer               Repo Man theme music now begins playing. Map is shown in background                (green text on black background),zoomed in on Los Alamos, New                Mexico. While remaining credits are shown, the map travels to                Sante Fe, then Albuquerque, then begins following US66 west through                Arizona to California,finally ending up a few miles east of                Goffs (northwest of Needles).                Green '64 Chevy Malibu               Malibu is weaving down the highway in the desert, passes billboard                withmotorcycle cop behind it. Cop pulls out behind Malibu.                                                     J. FRANK PARNELL                         Forty-niner and his daughterClementine.                          Oh my darlin, oh my darlin...                Motorcycle cop pulls the car over, gets off motorcycle and raps                on car window.                                      J. FRANKPARNELL                         Clementine Clemen-                                     COUNTY SHERIFF                         Let me see your drivers license.                                     RADIO                         Postten-eighteen. Post ten-eighteen.                                                               COUNTY SHERIFF                         From out of town, hmm? What's you got                          in the trunk?                                     J. FRANK PARNELL                         oah...you don't want to look in there.                                                               COUNTYSHERIFF                         Give me the keys.               The motorcycle cop walks around to the back of the car and opens                the trunk. The car has New Mexico license plates KBB-283. In                everyscene after this when the plates are visible, they will                be 127-GBH.                                      COUNTY SHERIFF                         AHHHHHH!               The motorcycle cop getsdisintegrated, leaving behind a pair                of flaming boots (a reference to the movie Timerider, which was                co-written and produced by Mike Nesmith). Parnell watches from                side mirror, wherewe see that the left side of his sunglasses                have no lens.                                      J. FRANK PARNELL                         Oh my darlin Clementine, you are lost                          now goneforever, dreadful sorry Clementine.                                         Otto and Kevin, in the supermarket, facing cans of generic yellow                cling sliced peaches.                                     KEVIN                         Do Do Do De Do De Do De Do De Do Feeling                          Do De Da Do De Do De Do Feeling seven-up.                          I'm feeling seven-up.Feeling seven                          up. I'm feeling seven up. It's a crisp                          refreshing feeling crystal clear and                          light. America's drinking seven-up and                          it sure feels right.Feeling lucky seven.                                         Otto puts price sticker on Kevin's glasses.                                     OTTO                         Kevin stop singingman.                                     KEVIN                         Feeling seven eleven.                                     KEVIN                         Hum. I wasn't singingguy.                                     OTTO                         I'm standing right next to you and you're                          fucking (flippin) singing. Cut it out.                                                              KEVIN                         Jeeze. Why so tense guy?                                     MR.HUMPHRIES                         Otto?                                     KEVIN                         Mister Humphries!                                     MR. HUMPHRIES                         You were late again thismorning. Now                          normally I'd let it go but it's been                          brought to my attention that you're                          not paying attention to the way you                          space the cans. Manyyoung men of your                          age in these uncertain times-                                      MR. HUMPHRIES                         Otto! Are you paying attention to me?                                                              LOUIE                         Hey! He's talking to you!               Kevin chuckles               Otto grabs Kevin by the front of his shirt, steps aroundhim,                and pushes him into the stack of cans (this has been described                as a goof but it's clearly just a case of awkward staging used                to make the shot work).                Louie pullshis gun.                                     LOUIE                         (Basta!)                                      KEVIN                         You gotta love getting fired from your                          job in a big way, Otto.                                     MR. HUMPHRIES                         What are you laughing at? Louie, throw                          him out too.                                     LOUIE                         Come on you  worm. Get out of here.                                         Louie shoves Kevin down aisle where Otto is walking out.Otto                takes off his clip-on bow tie and tosses it back towards Louie.                Louie twirls his gun and puts it away. Note that the store aisle                is lined with nothing but generic products, plain blacklettering                on white background. All products in movie from now on will have                this appearance.                Punks slamdancing to Coup D'etat in the back of a warehouse.                              Otto is there slamdancing and Duke walks up, the two of them                swing each other around. Behind them, the graffiti on the wall                says "Circle Jerks", a band whichwill appear later in the movie.                                                     OTTO                         How you doing dude? When did you get                          out of the slammer man?               Otto enters bedroom where Debbi is waiting in bed.                                     DEBBI                         What's the difference?]                                     OTTO                         Huh?               Otto lays back on the bed and puts his hands behind his head.                                                    OTTO                         okay               Debbi pulls back his shirt a little and begins kissing his stomach,                then stops.                                     DEBBI                         Otto. Otto.                                     OTTO                         What?                                     DEBBI                         Get me anotherbeer.               Otto goes downstairs and there's a party going on. Institutionalized                plays in background.                                      KEVIN                         Ow. Cool. Ow. Dammit. I'msupposed to                          be the host here.                                      KEVIN                         Ow!               Otto returns to thebedroom                                     OTTO                         Debbi honey. I got you a beer.               Otto turns on light and finds Duke there withDebbi.                                     [OTTO                         Shit.                                     DEBBI                         Just ignore him Duke he's nothing but                          a big baby.                                     DUKE                         Turn the fucking light out.]               Otto leaves room just as Kevin arrives and looks in the door.                                                    KEVIN                         What are you doing? Nobody supposed                          to be up here. This is my parent's room.                                                                                Dude, nobody supposed to be up here,                          this is my parent's room.)                [Otto in a vacant lot drinkinga beer.               It's early morning and Otto starts walking.                                     OTTO                         Don't want to talk about anything else.                          We don't want to know. We're justdedicated...to                          our favorite shows. Saturday night live,                          Monday night football, Dallas, Jeffersons,                          Gilligan's island, Flintstones. ]                                        Otto still walking, but it's light now.               Bud pulls up next to him in a blue sedan.                                     BUD                         Hey kid! (Honk) Hey! Hey kid!Hey! Hey!                          Are you hard of hearing?                                      OTTO                         What do you want?                                     BUD                         You want to maketen bucks?                                     OTTO                         Fuck you, queer.(Shove off, pervert)                                                               BUD                         Now waitaminute wait a minute kid you                          got the wrong idea. Look my old lady                          is real sick and I got to get her to                          the hospital, okay?                                     OTTO                         So what? Take her there.                                     BUD                         I can't. I can't leave her car in this                          bad area. Look Ineed some helpful soul                          to drive it for me, okay? She's pregnant.                          She's with twins. She could drop at                          any time. All right?                                     OTTO                         Well, uh, how much are you going to                          give me?                                      BUD                         Fifteenbucks.                                     OTTO                         No. Won't do it for less than twenty.                                                               BUD                         Twenty-five. Followme in my old lady's                          car. Its right here. okay?                                      OTTO                         All right... Where's, uh, where's your                          old lady at?                                     BUD                         Never mind about that. Right now we                          need to get both of my cars out of this                          bad area, allright? Come on.


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<title>PhoneBooth</title>
                          PHONE BOOTH                              by                          Larry Cohen FADE IN: NEW YORK CITY - AERIAL VIEW OF DOWNTOWN MANHATTAN -DAY MULTIPLE STREET SCENES - DAY The sidewalks crowded as usual.  A sea of humanity.  People come and go -- always in a hurry.  Oblivious of one another. A TRAFFIC JAM -- A STREET being torn upby construction workers; A SANITATION TRUCK loading up refuse; VENDORS PEDDLING nuts and salted pretzels; PANHANDLERS blocking a passerby.  Intimidating.  Demanding.  Almost mocking. We're surrounded bythe teeming life of the city as we've come to expect it -- complete with a cacophony of sound. MULTIPLE CUTS -- Phone kiosks and phone booths on the East Side and West Side -- uptown and down. One frustratedcaller has lost his money in the slot and he takes it out on the equipment -- smashing the receiver violently against the coin box until the instrument splinters into a dozen pieces. NARRATOR There are237,911 pay telephones in the five burroughs of the city of New York.  Many of them are still in working order. DOZENS OF QUICK CUTS -- NEW YORKERS on the phone in extreme close up.  We don't hear thewords.  Only the facial expressions inform us that these are human beings under tremendous pressure.  Life in the city is wearing them down. MULTIPLE SHOTS - JUST MOUTHS Lips jabbering intoreceivers.  Cross-cut against one another. NARRATOR Despite increased usage of cellular devices, an estimated four and a half million New Yorkers and two million visitors still utilize pay telephones on aregular basis.  At thirty-five cents a pop... for the first three minutes. ANGLE ON CORNER IN MID-MANHATTAN - DAY There's a phone booth situated on the southeast side of the street. NARRATORYou're looking at the telephone booth at the corner of 45th Street and 8th Avenue in the heart of the Manhattan theatrical district.  It has been scheduled to be removed and replaced by a kiosk.  It's one of the fewremaining phone booths left in the city. CAMERA MOVES IN on the irate caller in the booth -- a very well-dressed gray-haired lady -- totally conservative in appearance. WOMAN IN BOOTH (into receiver) Youhave lied to me for the last time, you lowlife prick bastard!  I don't ever want to hear the sound of your fucking voice again. (listens) Yes, well fuck you, too! She slams down the receiver and exits.  The booth remainsvacant for a brief interval. NARRATOR At least three hundred calls daily originate from this booth.  The coins are collected twice a day. This booth has been burglarized forty-one times in the last six months.Someone is approaching the booth, fishing in his pocket for coins.  This is STUART SHEPARD, snappily dressed, his hair styled and his nails manicured.  Here is a man who clearly takes excellent care of himself.  Hesports a Donna Karen suit and silk Armani tie. He's about to step into the booth when he's accosted by a middle-aged man in a soiled apron who's run out of a nearby restaurant and has finally caught up with him.MARIO Stu, we got to talk. STU Wish I could accommodate you, Mario, but this is my busy time of day. MARIO How come you cross the street every time you go past the restaurant?STU Why don't I stop in later for some lunch? MARIO There's no more drinks or free meals until the restaurant starts showing up in the columns like you said. STU I'm doing my level best foryou people. MARIO One lousy mention in the Post and you expect to eat for six months! STU I got the food critic from the Village Voice all lined up to give you a review. MARIO That's whatyou tell me last July. And he never shows. STU I was allowing you time to expand the menu.  Wallpaper the bathrooms, for God sakes.  You get only one shot with these fucking critics and I don't want you toblow a rare opportunity. MARIO You the one blowing it.  How long you think you can fuck everybody? STU Hold on right there.  I've got a very excellent reputation around this town. MARIOSo how come you take two nice suits of clothes from Harry and never get his daughter on David Letterman? STU Hell, I'm not an agent.  I'm a publicist. MARIO Mister, you're nothing! STUBelieve me, Valerie's on the waiting list to audition.  Harry's got no complaints.  He just let me pick out this tie the other day. MARIO That Harry's a damn fool! STU Mario, please let me make this upto you.  How about I arrange for the opening night party for this new off-Broadway show I'm handling -- to be held at your place with local TV coverage on nine and eleven?  I mean I had it promised to another client --who actually pays me money.  But it isn't firmed up yet.  And I could throw it your way.  Maybe. MARIO What is involved? STU You'd toss in the buffet for say seventy or eighty.  The producers wouldsupply their own vino, of course.  I'd deliver you a truckload of celebrities.  And if they like the food, they'll all come back, naturally. MARIO What celebrities? STU You want Liza Minelli?  An Oscarwinner.  Or Douglas Fairbanks, Jr.? MARIO Is he still alive? STU I saw him last night going into the Four Seasons.  I'll bring you over a whole VIP list when we come by for dinner. MARIOHow come everybody wants to eat but nobody wants to pay? STU You can't think small like that. Hey, you still feature musicians Fridays and Saturdays? MARIO At least they work for theirmeals. STU What about Harry's daughter as an extra added attraction?  She'll belt out five or six showtunes -- two sets a night -- and it won't cost you a fucking nickel. MARIO How come?STU Star Showcase!  Let me handle setting that up.  And when she eventually goes on Letterman, she'll announce I'm currently appearing over at Mario's fine supper club.  Right over CBS she'll say that,Mario. MARIO You're full of shit.  You know that?  All bullshit! STU That's just a vulgar word for PR. (placing an arm around him) Mario, you can't hurt my feelings. Even when I was a kid and theyhurled certain invectives my way, it never bothered me.  Other kids would fall apart if anybody called them a fucking name.  Me, I just loved the attention!  'Shit-for- brains' -- that's what the bigger kids namedme.  And I answered to it.  Hey, 'shit-for brains' reporting for duty.  Everybody loved me for that.  I could take abuse.  After a while, I kind of wore them down.  There was nothing more they could say to me.  So theystopped.  I kind of missed it. MARIO I'm sorry I even talked to you. STU I'll bet your loving wife put you up to this.  She saw me pass by and she sent you out in the street. But I don't hold it againstyou personally -- you still serve up superior veal chop. (entering phone booth) Now I got urgent business to conduct, Mario. He slides the booth closed in Mario's face. The frustrated restaurateur glares at him throughthe glass before giving up and walking off -- talking to himself as he goes up the block. INSIDE THE BOOTH, Stu inserts his thirty-five cents and dials. STU Hello, Mavis, sweet creature. MAVIS' VOICEWhere have you been?  Do you think I have nothing to do but wait around for you to call? STU I'm only a few minutes late, loveliest individual on earth. MAVIS' VOICE Stu, I'm so lonely.  When can Isee you? STU Good news in that arena.  Kelly goes into rehearsal as of Monday. You know how dedicated she is.  By the time she gets back from dancing her ass off, she goes right to sleep.  We'll have bothour days and certain nights.  Not to mention when they take the show on the road. MAVIS' VOICE How long is that for? STU Four to five weeks -- minimum. MAVIS' VOICE Maybe I shouldquit my job so we can be together full time. STU I wouldn't do that. MAVIS' VOICE Sometimes I think if I have to give one more fucking manicure... STU That's how you met me.MAVIS' VOICE I never saw a worse set of nails. Bit right down to the quick. STU I'm much better groomed since you've been looking after me. MAVIS' VOICE I'm glad you admit it. STUEven Kelly remarked on it when I first met her. MAVIS' VOICE She could care less how you look. She's only interested in pushing her own career.  Some wife you're stuck with! STU The marriage isnot without its compensations.  Do you imagine I could afford that apartment on what I'm earning?  Not with everybody cutting back on the publicity.  Not to mention a million college graduates coming into theprofession trying to cut me out. And one thing you can't expect from your clients is loyalty.  They get a couple of bad notices, they dump you.  Goodbye. MAVIS' VOICE Don't go. STU I wasn't sayinggoodbye to you.  I was saying how the clients try to give you the wave off without even a month's notice. A conservative businessman now stands outside the booth waiting to use it.  He deliberately glances at hiswatch a few times to demonstrate his impatience.  This bothers Stu who slides the booth open a crack. STU (yelling) What?  Is your watch busted?  It's twenty after eleven and I'm gonna be occupiedindefinitely with my transaction.  So get out of my face! He closes the booth up again and turns his back to the gentleman who gives up and departs. STU Sorry, honey.  There will be no furtherinterruption. MAVIS' VOICE Why must you always be calling me from some booth? STU On account of that phone records are regularly subpoenaed in divorce proceedings.  And I don't want someentry showing up on my cellular bill either.  She gets the mail. She looks these items over. Sometimes she even dials up a strange number to see who it is. MAVIS' VOICE Then she suspects something.STU It's only because her last husband, the choreographer, ran around on her.  She can't get that out of her head.  That's how she caught onto him.  The phone bills. MAVIS' VOICE She hasn't developedmuch skill at holding a man. STU You know what a self-fulfilling prophecy is?  She was so sure I was going to find me a woman that she finally drove me back to you.  I thought I'd feel all guilty about it -- butI guess it hasn't kicked in yet. (beat) Still, I wouldn't do anything to hurt her.  Basically, Kelly's a decent individual. MAVIS' VOICE What about hurting me?  Like last time? STU Hurt?  You were gladto be rid of me. MAVIS' VOICE For a while I was, 'til I took stock of what was around.  You're the lesser of many evils. STU That's about the nicest thing you ever said. MAVIS' VOICE I'llhave it engraved. STU We've been up front with each other from the beginning.  Let's keep it that way.  How about a drink?  Say seven o'clock?  The Monkey Bar? MAVIS' VOICE Meet me in front.  Idon't like walking in there unescorted. STU Yeah, you're great enough looking to be mistaken for one of those thousand dollar a night girls. MAVIS' VOICE It happens all the time lately. STU


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<TITLE>Clueless</TITLE>
<TT>Directed by Amy Heckerling</TT>

<TT><FONTSIZE=+1>CAST:</TT>

<TT>Alicia Silverstone.........Cher HorowitzStacey Dash................DionneBrittany Murphy............TaiPaulStephen Rudd..........JoshDonald Adeosun Faison......MurrayElisa Donovan..............AmberBreckin Meyer..............TravisJeremy Sisto...............EltonDan Hedaya.................MelAida Linares...............LucyWallaceShawn..............Mr. HallTwink Caplan...............Miss GeistJustin Walker..............ChristianSabastian Rashidi..........ParoudasmHerb Hall..................PrincipalJulie Brown................Miss StoegerSusanMohun................HeatherNicole Bilderback..........SummerRon Orbach.................DMV TesterSean Holland...............LawrenceRoger Kabler...............College GuyJace Alexander.............RobberJoshLozoff................LoganCarl Gottlieb..............MinisterJoseph D. Reitman..........StudentAnthony Beninati...........BartenderMicki Duran................DancerGregg Russell..............DancerJermaineMontell...........DancerDanielle Eckert............Dancer</TT>

<TT>Written by      Jane Austen   (novel Emma)       AmyHeckerlingCinematography by      Bill PopeMusic by      David KitayProduction Design by      Steven J. JordanCostume Design by      Mona MayFilm Editing by      Debra ChiateProduced by      Barry M.Berg  (co-producer)       Twink Caplan  (associate)       Robert Lawrence (III)      Scott Rudin      Adam Schroeder  (co-producer) Other crew      Den Abraham..............set dresser       Barry M. Berg............unitproduction manager       Alan 'Doc' Friedman......make-up       Richard Graves...........assistant director       Raul Gutierrez...........assistant to Scott Rudin       William Hiney............art director       LawrenceKarman..........camera operator       Mark Kusy................set dresser       James LaBarge............set dresser       Alyson Dee Moore.........foley       James Muro...............steadicam operator       WendyMurray.............set dresser       Patricia Nedd............foley       Nina Paskowitz...........hair styles       Karyn Rachtman...........music supervisor       Patrick Romano...........stunt co-ordinator       MarciaRoss..............casting       Daniel Silverberg........assistant director       Jeffrey T. Spellman......location manager       Amy Wells................set decorator       Diana Williams...........assistant director</TT>

<TT>OK, so here it is. The entire script to Cluelessincluding important actions, songs from the<FONTCOLOR="#FF0080">soundtrack, and my own personal comments.Just hit the little speaker <imr smc="http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Hills/5342/speaker.gif"HEIGHT=19 WIDTH=20 ALIGN=TEXTTOP> nextto the character's name to hear the lines from the movie (They'renot working yet). I hope you enjoy reading it as much as Ienjoyedwriting it. It's amazing the things you pick up when watching a scene 50times. One thing: this is written by a hopelessly devoted and loyal AliciaSilverstone fan, so some of the commentary may be biased. But, Ifigureif you're reading this then you must have some interest her. Enjoy.</TT>

<TT>Any suggestions, errors, anything?! Please emailme <AHREF="mailto:pacey578@rocketmail.com">pacey578@rocketmail.com</TT>

<TT>SCENE I - CHER'SHOUSE</TT>

<TT>"Kids in America" The Muffs</TT>

<TT><FONTCOLOR="#0080FF">(Heaps of shots of the girls having fun)</TT>

<TT>CHERV.O.</TT>

<TT>So OK, you're probably thinking, "Is this, likea Noxema commercial, or what?!" But seriously, I actually have awaynormal life for a teenage girl. I mean I get up, I brush my teeth, andI pick out my school clothes.</TT><imr smc="http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Hills/5342/clue-s1p1.jpg" HEIGHT=150WIDTH=201 ALIGN=RIGHT>

<TT>"Fashion Girl"DavidBowie</TT>

<TT>Daddy's a litigator. Those are the scariest kindsof lawyers. Even Lucy, our maid, is terrified of him. He's so good hegetspaid five hundred dollars an hour just to fight with people, but he fightswith me for free 'cause I'm his daughter.</TT>

<TT><FONTSIZE=+1>CHER</TT>

<TT>Daddy!</TT>

<TT><FONTSIZE=+1>MEL</TT>

<TT>Cher, please don't start with the juiceagain.</TT>

<TT>CHER</TT>

<TT>Daddy, you need your vitaminC.</TT>

<TT>MEL</TT>

<TT>Where's mybriefcase?</TT>

<TT>CHER</TT>

<TT>It's been a couple ofmonths now, so I say we go outto Malibu.</TT>

<TT>MEL</TT>

<TT><FONTSIZE=+1>Don't tell me those braindead low-lifes have beencalling again.</TT>

<TT><FONTSIZE=+1>CHER</TT>

<TT>They are your parents. And don't try sneaking outof the office. Dr. Lovitz is coming by to give you a flushot.</TT>

<TT>MEL</TT>

<TT>Oh, Josh is in town. He's comingfor dinner.</TT>

<TT>CHER</TT>

<TT><FONTSIZE=+1>Why?</TT>

<TT>MEL</TT>

<TT>Because he's yourstep-brother!</TT>

<TT>CHER</TT>

<TT>But you were hardlyeven married to his mother andthat was five years ago. Why do I have to see Josh?</TT>

<TT>(Watch thoseLIPS!!)</TT>

<TT>MEL</TT>

<TT>You divorce wives, notchildren.</TT>

<TT>CHER</TT>

<TT><FONTSIZE=+1>Here.</TT>

<TT>MEL</TT>

<TT>Forgetit!</TT>

<TT>SCENE II - CHER'S CAR</TT>

<TT>"Justa girl" NoDoubt</TT>

<TT>CHER V.O.</TT>

<TT>Did I show you theloqued-out Jeep Daddy got me? It'sgot four wheel drive, dual side airbags and monster sound system. I don'thave a licence yet, but I need something to learnon.</TT>

<TT>(Cher runs over a potted planton thekerb)</TT>

<TT>Oh, why that came out of nowhere.</TT>

<TT><FONTCOLOR="#FF8000">(Watch her face when she looksback at the road)</TT>

<TT>Here's where Dionne lives. She's my friendbecausewe both know what it's like to have people be jealous of us.</TT>

<TT><FONTSIZE=+1>DIONNE</TT>

<TT>Dude!</TT>

<TT><FONTSIZE=+1>CHER</TT>

<TT>Girlfriend!</TT>

<TT>CHERV.O.</TT>

<TT>And I must give her snaps for her courageousfashionefforts.</TT>

<TT>DIONNE</TT>

<TT>HeyCher.</TT><imr smc="clue-s2p1.jpg" HEIGHT=150 WIDTH=188 ALIGN=RIGHT>

<TT>CHER V.O. </TT><A


ï»¿The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Efficiency Expert, by Edgar Rice BurroughsThis eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and withalmost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it awayorre-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License includedwith this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/licenseTitle: The Efficiency ExpertAuthor: Edgar Rice BurroughsPosting Date: May 6, 2012 [EBook#3475]Release Date: October, 2002  [Etext #3475][The actual date this file first posted = 10/30/01]Language: English*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE EFFICIENCY EXPERT ***Produced by FredM. Adams (fsadams@magma.cs)THE EFFICIENCY EXPERTCHAPTER I.JIMMY TORRANCE, JR.The gymnasium was packed as Jimmy Torrance stepped into the ring for thefinal event of the evening that was to decide theboxing championship ofthe university. Drawing to a close were the nearly four years of hiscollege career--profitable years, Jimmy considered them, and certainlysuccessful up to this point. In the beginning of his senioryear he hadcaptained the varsity eleven, and in the coming spring he would againsally forth upon the diamond as the star initial sacker of collegedom.His football triumphs were in the past, his continued baseballsuccessesa foregone conclusion--if he won to-night his cup of happiness, and anunassailably dominant position among his fellows, would be assured,leaving nothing more, in so far as Jimmy reasoned, to be desiredfromfour years attendance at one of America's oldest and most famousuniversities.The youth who would dispute the right to championship honors with Jimmywas a dark horse to the extent that he was a freshman, and,therefore,practically unknown. He had worked hard, however, and given a goodaccount of himself in his preparations for the battle, and there wererumors, as there always are about every campus, of marvelousexploitsprior to his college days. It was even darkly hinted that he was aprofessional pugilist. As a matter of fact, he was the best exponent ofthe manly art of self-defense that Jimmy Torrance had ever faced, andinaddition thereto he outweighed the senior and outreached him.The boxing contest, as the faculty members of the athletic committeepreferred to call it, was, from the tap of the gong, as pretty atwo-fisted scrap asever any aggregation of low-browed fight fanswitnessed. The details of this gory contest, while interesting, have noparticular bearing upon the development of this tale. What interests usis the outcome, which occurredin the middle of a very bloody fourthround, in which Jimmy Torrance scored a clean knock-out.It was a battered but happy Jimmy who sat in his room the followingMonday afternoon, striving to concentrate his mindupon a collegetext-book which should, by all the laws of fiction, have been 'wellthumbed,' but in reality, possessed unruffled freshness which belied itsreal age."I wish," mused Jimmy, "that I could have got to the birdwho inventedmathematics before he inflicted all this unnecessary anguish upon analready unhappy world. In about three rounds I could have savedthousands from the sorrow which I feel every time I open thisbloomingbook."He was still deeply engrossed in the futile attempt of accomplishing inan hour that for which the college curriculum set aside several monthswhen there came sounds of approaching footsteps rapidlyascending thestairway. His door was unceremoniously thrown open, and there appearedone of those strange apparitions which is the envy and despair of thesmall-town youth--a naturally good-looking young fellow, thesartorialarts of whose tailor had elevated his waist-line to his arm-pits,dragged down his shoulders, and caved in his front until he had theappearance of being badly dished from chin to knees. His trousersappeared tohave been made for a man with legs six inches longer thanhis, while his hat was evidently several sizes too large, since it wouldhave entirely extinguished his face had it not been supported by hisears."Hello, Kid!" criedJimmy.  "What's new?""Whiskers wants you," replied the other.  "Faculty meeting. They justgot through with me.""Hell!" muttered Jimmy feelingly.  "I don't know what Whiskers wantswith me, but he never wants tosee anybody about anything pleasant.""I am here," agreed the other, "to announce to the universe that you areright, Jimmy. He didn't have anything pleasant to say to me. In fact, heinsinuated that dear old almamater might be able to wiggle alongwithout me if I didn't abjure my criminal life. Made some nastycomparison between my academic achievements and foxtrotting. I wonder,Jimmy, how they get that way?""That's whythey are profs," explained Jimmy.  "There are two kinds ofpeople in this world--human beings and profs. When does he want me?""Now."Jimmy arose and put on his hat and coat.  "Good-by, Kid," he said."Pray for me,and leave me one cigarette to smoke when I get back,"and, grinning, he left the room.James Torrance, Jr., was not greatly abashed as he faced the dourtribunal of the faculty. The younger members, among whom wereseveral heknew to be mighty good fellows at heart, sat at the lower end of thelong table, and with owlish gravity attempted to emulate the appearanceand manners of their seniors. At the head of the table sat Whiskers,asthe dignified and venerable president of the university was popularlynamed. It was generally believed and solemnly sworn to throughout thelarge corps of undergraduates that within the knowledge of any livingmanWhiskers had never been known to smile, and to-day he was runningtrue to form."Mr. Torrance," he said, sighing, "it has been my painful duty on morethan one occasion to call your attention to the uniformly lowaverage ofyour academic standing. At the earnest solicitation of the facultymembers of the athletic committee, I have been influenced, against mybetter judgment, to temporize with an utterly insufferablecondition."You are rapidly approaching the close of your senior year, and in thelight of the records which I have before me I am constrained to believethat it will be utterly impossible for you to graduate, unless fromnowto the end of the semester you devote yourself exclusively to youracademic work. If you cannot assure me that you will do this, I believeit would be to the best interests of the university for you to resignnow, ratherthan to fail of graduation. And in this decision I am fullyseconded by the faculty members of the athletic committee, who realizethe harmful effect upon university athletics in the future were soprominent an athlete asyou to fail at graduation."If they had sentenced Jimmy to be shot at sunrise the blow couldscarcely have been more stunning than that which followed therealization that he was not to be permitted to round out hisfourthsuccessful season at first base. But if Jimmy was momentarily stunned hegave no outward indication of the fact, and in the brief interval ofsilence following the president's ultimatum his alert mind functionedwiththe rapidity which it had often shown upon the gridiron, thediamond, and the squared circle.Just for a moment the thought of being deprived of the pleasure andexcitement of the coming baseball season filled his mindto theexclusion of every other consideration, but presently a less selfishimpulse projected upon the screen of recollection the figure of thefather he idolized. The boy realized the disappointment that this manwould feelshould his four years of college end thus disastrously andwithout the coveted diploma.And then it was that he raised his eyes to those of the president."I hope, sir," he said, "that you will give me one more chance--thatyouwill let me go on as I have in the past as far as baseball is concerned,with the understanding that if at the end of each month between now andcommencement I do not show satisfactory improvement I shall notbepermitted to play on the team. But please don't make that restrictionbinding yet. If I lay off the track work I believe I can make up enoughso that baseball will not interfere with my graduation."And so Whiskers, whowas much more human than the student body gave himcredit for being, and was, in the bargain, a good judge of boys, gaveJimmy another chance on his own terms, and the university's heavyweightchampion returnedto his room filled with determination to make good atthe eleventh hour.Possibly one of the greatest obstacles which lay in Jimmy's path towardacademic honors was the fact that he possessed those qualities ofcharacterwhich attracted others to him, with the result that there wasseldom an hour during the day that he had his room to himself. On hisreturn from the faculty meeting he found a half-dozen of his classmatesthere, awaitinghis return."Well?" they inquired as he entered."It's worse than that," said Jimmy, as he unfolded the harrowing detailsof what had transpired at his meeting with the faculty. "And now," hesaid, "if you birds love me,keep out of here from now untilcommencement. There isn't a guy on earth can concentrate on anythingwith a roomful of you mental ciphers sitting around and yapping aboutgirls and other non-essentialcreations.""Non-essential!" gasped one of his visitors, letting his eyes wanderover the walls of Jimmy's study, whereon were nailed, pinned or hungcountless framed and unframed pictures of non-essential creations."Allright, Jimmy," said another.  "We are with you, horse, foot andartillery. When you want us, give us the high-sign and we will come.Otherwise we will leave you to your beloved books. It is too bad,though, as the bar-boywas just explaining how the great drought mightbe circumvented by means of carrots, potato peelings, dish-water, and araisin.""Go on," said Jimmy; "I am not interested," and the boys left him to his"beloved"books.Jimmy Torrance worked hard, and by dint of long hours and hard-workingtutors he finished his college course and won his diploma. Nor did hehave to forego the crowning honors of his last baseballseason,although, like Ulysses S. Grant, he would have graduated at the head ofhis class had the list been turned upside down.CHAPTER II.JIMMY WILL ACCEPT A POSITION.Following his graduation he went to New Yorkto visit with one of hisclassmates for a short time before returning home. He was a veryself-satisfied Jimmy, nor who can wonder, since almost from hismatriculation there had been constantly dinned into his earstheplaudits of his fellow students. Jimmy Torrance had been the one bigoutstanding feature of each succeeding class from his freshman to hissenior year, and as a junior and senior he had been the acknowledgedleaderof the student body and as popular a man as the university hadever known.To his fellows, as well as to himself, he had been a great success--thesuccess of the university--and he and they saw in the futureonlycontinued success in whatever vocation he decided to honor with hispresence. It was in a mental attitude that had become almost habitualwith him, and which was superinduced by these influences, thatJimmyapproached the new life that was opening before him. For a while hewould play, but in the fall it was his firm intention to settle down tosome serious occupation, and it was in this attitude that he opened aletterfrom his father--the first that he had received since hisgraduation.The letter was written on the letterhead of the Beatrice Corn Mills,Incorporated, Beatrice, Nebraska, and in the upper left-hand corner, insmall type,appeared "James Torrance, Sr., President and GeneralManager," and this is what he read:     Dear Jim    You have graduated--I didn't think you would--with honors in    football, baseball, prize-fighting, and fivethousand    dollars in debt. How you got your diploma is beyond me--in    my day you would have got the sack. Well, son, I am not    surprised nor disappointed--it is what I expected. I know    you are clean, though,and that some day you will awaken to    the sterner side of life and an appreciation of your    responsibilities.    To be an entirely orthodox father I should raise merry hell    about your debts and utter inutility, at thesame time    disinheriting you, but instead I am going to urge you to    come home and run in debt here where the cost of living is    not so high as in the East--meanwhile praying that your    awakening may comewhile I am on earth to rejoice.          Your affectionate                  FATHER,    Am enclosing check to cover your debts and present needs.For a long time the boy sat looking at the letter before him.  He rereadit once,twice, three times, and with each reading the film ofunconscious egotism that had blinded him to his own shortcomingsgradually became less opaque, until finally he saw himself as his fathermust see him. He had cometo college for the purpose of fitting himselfto succeed in some particular way in the stern battle of life whichmust follow his graduation; for, though his father had ample means tosupport him in indolence, Jimmy hadnever even momentarily consideredsuch an eventuality.In weighing his assets now he discovered that he had probably asexcellent a conception of gridiron strategy and tactics as any man inAmerica; that as a boxer heoccupied a position in the forefront ofamateur ranks; and he was quite positive that out-side of the majorleagues there was not a better first baseman.But in the last few minutes there had dawned upon him therealizationthat none of these accomplishments was greatly in demand in the businessworld. Jimmy spent a very blue and unhappy hour, and then slowly hisnatural optimism reasserted itself, and with it came therealization ofhis youth and strength and inherent ability, which, without egotism, hemight claim."And then, too," he mused, "I have my diploma.  I am a college graduate,and that must mean something. If dad had onlyreproached me orthreatened some condign punishment I don't believe I should feel half asbadly as I do. But every line of that letter breathes disappointment inme; and yet, God bless him, he tells me to come homeand spend his moneythere. Not on your life! If he won't disinherit me, I am going todisinherit myself. I am going to make him proud of me. He's the best dada fellow ever had, and I am going to show him that Iappreciate him."And so he sat down and wrote his father this reply:    DEAR DAD:    I have your letter and check.  You may not believe it, but    the former is worth more to me than the latter. Not,    however, that Ispurn the check, which it was just like you    to send without a lot of grumbling and reproaches, even if I    do deserve them.    Your letter shows me what a rotten mess I have made of    myself. I'm not going to handyou a lot of mush, dad, but I    want to try to do something that will give you reason to at    least have hopes of rejoicing before I come home again. If I    fail I'll come home anyway, and then neither one of uswill    have any doubt but what you will have to support me for the    rest of my life. However, I don't intend to fail, and one of    these days I will bob up all serene as president of a bank    or a glue factory. In the meantime I'll keep you posted as    to my whereabouts, but don't send me another cent until I    ask for it; and when I do you will know that I have failed.    Tell mother that I will write her in a day or two, probably    fromChicago, as I have always had an idea that that was one    burg where I could make good.    With lots of love to you all,                                        Your affectionate                                        SON.It was a hot July daythat James Torrance, Jr., alighted from theTwentieth Century Limited at the La Salle Street Station, and, enteringa cab, directed that he be driven to a small hotel; "for," hesoliloquized, "I might as well starteconomizing at once, as it might beseveral days before I land a job such as I want," in voicing whichsentiments he spoke with the tongues of the prophets.Jimmy had many friends in Chicago with whom, upon theoccasion ofnumerous previous visits to the Western metropolis, he had spent manyhilarious and expensive hours, but now he had come upon the seriousbusiness of life, and there moved within him a strongdetermination towin financial success without recourse to the influence of rich andpowerful acquaintances.Since the first crushing blow that his father's letter had dealt hisegotism, Jimmy's self-esteem had beengradually returning, though alongnew and more practical lines. His self-assurance was formed in a similarmold to those of all his other salient characteristics, and theseconformed to his physical proportions, forphysically, mentally andmorally Jimmy Torrance was big; not that he was noticeably taller thanother men or his features more than ordinarily attractive, but there wassomething so well balanced and harmonious in allthe proportions of hisframe and features as to almost invariably compel a second glance fromeven a casual observer, especially if the casual observer happened to bein the nonessential creation class.And so Jimmy,having had plenty of opportunity to commune with himselfduring the journey from New York, was confident that there were manyopportunities awaiting him in Chicago. He remembered distinctly ofhaving readsomewhere that the growing need of big business concerns wascompetent executive material--that there were fewer big men than therewere big jobs--and that if such was the case all that remained to bedone was toconnect himself with the particular big job that suited him.In the lobby of the hotel he bought several of the daily papers, andafter reaching his room he started perusing the "Help Wanted" columns.Immediately he wasimpressed and elated by the discovery that there wereplenty of jobs, and that a satisfactory percentage of them appeared tobe big jobs. There were so many, however, that appealed to him asexcellent possibilities thathe saw it would be impossible to apply foreach and every one; and then it occurred to him that he might occupy amore strategic position in the negotiations preceding his acceptance ofa position if his future employercame to him first, rather than shouldhe be the one to apply for the position.And so he decided the wisest plan would be to insert an ad in the"Situations Wanted" column, and then from the replies select thosewhichmost appealed to him; in other words, he would choose from thecream of those who desired the services of such a man as himself ratherthan risk the chance of obtaining a less profitable position throughundue haste inseizing upon the first opening advertised.Having reached this decision, and following his habitual custom, hepermitted no grass to grow beneath his feet. Writing out an ad, hereviewed it carefully, compared it withothers that he saw upon theprinted page, made a few changes, rewrote it, and then descended to thelobby, where he called a cab and was driven to the office of one of thearea's metropolitan morningnewspapers.Jimmy felt very important as he passed through the massive doorway intothe great general offices of the newspaper. Of course, he didn't exactlyexpect that he would be ushered into the presence of thepresident orbusiness manager, or that even the advertising manager would necessarilyhave to pass upon his copy, but there was within him a certain sensationthat at that instant something was transpiring that in lateryears wouldbe a matter of great moment, and he was really very sorry for thepublishers of the newspaper that they did not know who it was who wasinserting an ad in their Situations Wanted column.He could not helpbut watch the face of the young man who received hisad and counted the words, as he was sure that the clerk's facialexpression would betray his excitement. It was a great moment for JimmyTorrance. He realized thatit was probably the greatest moment of hislife--that here Jimmy Torrance ceased to be, and James Torrance, Jr.,Esq., began his career. But though he carefully watched the face of theclerk, he was finally forced toadmit that the young man possessedwonderful control over his facial expression."That bird has a regular poker-face," mused Jimmy; "never batted aneye," and paying for his ad he pocketed the change and walkedout."Let's see," he figured; "it will be in tomorrow morning's edition.  Thetired business man will read it either at breakfast or after he reacheshis office. I understand that there are three million people here inChicago.Out of that three million it is safe to assume that one millionwill read my advertisement, and of that one-million there must be atleast one thousand who have responsible positions which are, at present,inadequatelyfilled."Of course, the truth of the matter is that there are probably tens ofthousands of such positions, but to be conservative I will assume thatthere are only one thousand, and reducing it still further to almostanabsurdity, I will figure that only ten per cent of those reply to myadvertisement. In other words, at the lowest possible estimate I shouldhave one hundred replies on the first day. I knew it was foolish to runit for