Introduction: Joe's Blackened Chicken Nachos!. <PIC> I'm not a big fan of chicken but my husband-critter made blackened chicken and I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF IT! It's pretty tasty by itself, but on nachos it's a whole new experience. Normally Joe cooks this so I wouldn't make an instructable, but I realized that if he dies tragically I won't have anyone to make it for me and I didn't know how to make until a few days ago. The realization that if something happens to him I may never get to eat this again struck me pretty hard. If something did happen to him I would be really sad about that but...BUT THE NACHOS!!!! I'm just kidding! I love Joe more than nachos. Normally Joe doesn't cook with recipes but I asked him to mix ingredients using measuring spoons so I could record the correct proportions for the spice mix. I have now made this recipe by myself and the spice proportions are perfect! This can be cooked in the house (not recommended) or on a grill. If you cook it in the house it will smoke up the kitchen and possibly any adjacent rooms. In this example we started making the chicken on a grill but we ran out of propane so we had to finish in the house. Instead of making this instructable when the recipe was performed perfectly, I thought it would be a good example of how you can improvise. I hope you enjoy Joe's Blackened Chicken Nachos! Step 1: Ingredients. <PIC> You can scale this recipe up or down. We find that making this much gives enough leftovers that we don't fight over who gets to bring it for lunch (until it's almost gone). This spice mix gave us just enough to coat the chicken breasts. You may have to make a little more or less depending on how much chicken you get. *For the salsa we use 5280 Medium. **The number of avocados you use can vary depending on how much you like them. When Joe first makes this for dinner I'm so excited I can snarf down two. For lunch I will generally use one for 1-2 small chicken breasts. In the Ingredients picture the chicken is already cooked and the avocado already cut, but I'll show you how to do that.Ingredients Tortilla chips ~3.5 lbs chicken breast Salsa* 1-3 ripe avocados**Spice Mix(Dry) 1.5 tbsp garlic powder 1 tbsp onion powder 1 tbsp white pepper 1 tsp red pepper (or more if you like it spicier) 2 tsp black pepper 2.5 tsp thyme 2 tsp turmeric 1 tsp paprika 0.5 tsp chili powder 2 tsp oregano 2 tsp salt (coarse or fine - Joe uses coarse) A little more black pepper and thyme, not mixed, set to the side. Step 2: Mix Spice Mix. <PIC> 1. This is the first step and it's pretty easy. Take all of the spices from the Ingredients Step and mix them together in a bowl. 2. Go turn your grill on to high heat. Step 3: Prepping the Chicken. <PIC> 3. Wash the chicken in the sink. Joe says this is optional but he likes to do it to remove any materials/chemicals that could be stuck to the meat from processing. 4. Trim off fat and tendons. Maybe later you could add the fattier strips to soup or cook them up for fuzzy children (dogs or cats). 5. If your chicken is much thicker than ~1/2'' then Carefully take the chicken breasts and cut them in half to make two thinner breasts. You want each piece to be ~1/2'' thick. 6. Coat the chicken breasts in the spice mix. Once spiced, Joe usually puts them on a cookie sheet so that they don't stick and steal spice from each other. 7. Sprinkle a little additional thyme and black pepper on the chicken strips. Step 4: Cooking the Chicken. <PIC> 8. Take the chicken to the grill. Place them on the grill. Joe says that some grills will heat differently. In our case the back is hotter and the thicker chicken strips are placed there. After the lid was closed Joe turned the grill down to "medium-low" heat. 9. Flip the chicken at ~4.5 minutes. Try to flip them quickly if it's cold outside so you don't cool down the grill too much. Our cooking time may be longer because we're cooking in winter. If you're cooking in summer maybe see how they're doing at 3.5 minutes? 10. At 7 minutes (approximately) turn the grill back up to "high" and blacken the outside of the chicken. Move the chicken a little in one direction so that the metal of the grill doesn't over blacken the meat. If you don't run out of propane proceed to the step on cutting avocados. If you do run out of propane or you want to cook these inside - proceed to the next step. Step 5: . <PIC> This step is for people who want to cook the chicken breast inside - or if you run out of propane.11. Place the chicken breasts in a pan. Turn the heat up to high. Blacken the chicken but don't make it 100% black - you're not making charcoal. The picture with the single pan full of chicken shows about how much you want to darken them. 12. Cut up the chicken into cubes or strips or whatever shape gives your preferred mouth-feel. Step 6: Prepping the Avocado & Chopping Chicken. <PIC> 13. Cut your avocado in half and remove the pit. 14. Take a knife and cut parallel lines through each half of the avocado ~1/2'' (or 1cm) apart. Cut another set of parallel lines perpendicular to the first set you cut. This explanation makes it sound complicated so just take a quick glance at the picture. 15. Take a spoon and scoop all of your avocado chunks out of the skin. Toss the avocado chunks in a bowl. Step 7: NACHO TIME!. <PIC> Now you are ready to eat your blackened chicken nachos! There are two methods for satisfying consumption: A. Pile chicken, salsa, and avocado onto the nachos in a bowl and eat.PROS: Oh my gosh this is so yummy! This is how you can make your meal look impressive!CONS: Your nachos may get soggy if you don't eat fast enough. Also, you make not get enough salsa, avocado, and chicken on each chip B. Keep all of your ingredients separate and use each ingredient like a dip or spreadPROS: Oh my gosh this is so yummy and my nachos aren't soggy! Also, it ensures that each chip has the right balance  of ingredients.CONS: You have to make a little extra effort to put each ingredient on each chip. However you eat it I hope you enjoy Joe's Blackened Chicken Nachos!


Introduction: Gas Grill Renovation. <PIC> My wife bought me an inexpensive gas grill for my birthday a few years ago, but I never got around to buying a cover for it. End result? Rust, and lots of it. For about a year now, I've been thinking that I ought to grind off that rust and refinish it, but never got around to it. Today, I finally did something. Step 1: Amass Gear. <PIC> The first thing you need to do is gather your gear. Some of what I gathered is optional, some is mandatory.Mandatory:Garden hoseSpray nozzleWork glovesEye protectionScrewdrivers (size and type depend on your particular      )Pliers (you might be able to get away with sockets if your grill is less rusted than mine...)Corded drill (Yes, you MUST have a corded drill to run the wire cup! Don't even think about trying it with the cordless!)Degreaser (I used engine degreaser)High-heat paint (Obtained from the local home center for about $4 per can. I used one.)Wire cupTarpGrill cover (You don't want to have to do this again next year!)Not shown: Grill brushOptional:Hearing protectionDust mask/RespiratorCordless drill (I despise turning screws by hand!)Palm sanderExtension cordSanding disksNot shown: Shopvac Step 2: Disconnect Tank. <PIC> Please, please, please don't forget to disconnect the gas! Just reach down and unscrew the black plastic knob...righty tighty, lefty loosie.
 Step 3: Cleaning Rocks. <PIC> Take out those things that you burn your burgers and chicken on and set them aside. Now you have access to those rock things--you may have lava rocks, but I've got high-tech ceramic faux-charcoal briquettes. And man, are they dirty! Give them a good scrub with your grill brush.
What? Go buy new ones? Are you nuts? There's plenty of life left in these!
Note to those with lava rocks: Don't try to scrub them, it'll only make you batty. Go buy new rocks. Or if you live in Hawaii or some other volcanic region go collect your own, but don't tell them I sent you. (To those who will inevitably bring up that collecting lava rocks is illegal in some locales, I say collect elsewhere.) Step 4: Degrease It!. <PIC> Now that you've got those pesky rocks out of the way, shoot some degreaser on the underside of the hood. We'll let it soak in while we do some other stuff. While you're at it, spritz any other parts of the grill that are greasy, especially if you'll be painting them later.Disclaimer: Be sure to read, understand, and follow all the safety rules that come with your degreaser. Knowing how to use your degreaser properly will greatly reduce the risk of personal injury. And remember this: There is no more important safety rule when you're working with degreaser than to wear safety glasses. Step 5: Pop Out Thermometer. <PIC> If you've got a built-in thermometer, pop it out. You'll probably need to twist it until the hole in the hood matches the tab on the thermometer, then pull the whole thermometer towards you.
While you're at it take off the handle, too. (Sorry, no pic.) Step 6: Pull Out the Burner Unit. <PIC> The lower grate is probably pretty gross; scrub off all the gunk. Then, remove the lower grate and set it aside. What's left is the burner unit.
On the underbelly of the grill are four screws holding the burner unit down. Now would be a great time to remove them. Unfortunately, mine were so rusted that they wouldn't spin. Fortunately, they were so rusted that when I lifted the burner unit up and the material around the screw crumbled enough that I didn't need to unscrew them.
I don't think this grill will be lasting for more than another year or two...
With the burner unit now unattached, lift it straight up while sliding it towards the back of the grill. This will free the burner unit's feed tubes from the control unit. Now lift the burner unit up while rotating it towards you, which will pull the feed tubes out of the hole they are in. Step 7: Remove the Control Panel. <PIC> Pull the control knobs off; it may take a bit of force if they've never been taken off before. Mine didn't have setscrews holding them on, but if I were you, I'd check whether or not mine did before I applied TOO much force...
Pulling the knobs off reveals two screws. Unscrew them and the control unit should come right out.
While you're at it, unscrew the nut behind the igniter button and pull it out, too. I had to pull the igniter lead out of the button in order to get the button out of the front panel. It's supposed to come apart like that though, so don't worry. Step 8: Gunk Removal. <PIC> Now that all the parts have been removed from the cavity of the grill, you can see just how much rust, grease, and gunk are in there. I used a shopvac and a large, flat-bladed screwdriver to clean it out, but if you don't have a shopvac (POOR YOU!) you could just tip the whole case over and let the gunk fall onto the ground. Better yet, go buy a shopvac!
Note: If you tip the grill over to knock the gunk out, you might want to take the lid off first, as shown in the next step. Step 9: Decapitation!. <PIC> To remove the lid, unscrew the top part of the hinges in back. My grill had the bolts welded in on the inside, so I didn't need to reach around with pliers to stop them from spinning. Step 10: A Little Bump and Grind. <PIC> Now's when you chuck your wire cup into your drill, plug the drill into the wall, and put on your eye protection. I used the earmuffs and respirator too, because I knew it'd be loud and there would be flying rust dust.
Do I need to do the "be safe when using power tools" disclaimer? Well, be safe when using power tools, mmkay?
Using the wire cup and firm pressure, scrub all of that       rust off! I did what I figure was an 80% removal--it would have taken more time than I had to spend in order to remove 100%, but I got all the big stuff and most of the little stuff. Anyways, I felt good about it.
When you've got off all the rust you can get, you might consider sanding with some wet/dry sandpaper. That's up to you...but if you're going for the "just try hold in there for another few years" approach like I was, you will probably skip the sandpaper part. Step 11: Say It, Don't Spray It!. <PIC> Aaah, the paint. The stuff I got was formulated specifically for grills and stoves. Don't even think of trying this with the can of Rustoleum you've got sitting around.
I didn't paint the interior because 1) I knew it'd just be greasy again within a week and 2) I was running out of time.
Spray according to the directions on the paint. Mine said make several light coats a few minutes apart, dry to the touch in 1/2 an hour, ready for heat in an hour. Step 12: Reassemble. <PIC> Put everything back on that you took off.
Start with the lid. Add the handle and the thermometer.
Screw in the control unit and the starter switch. Press on the control knobs. Put the burner unit back in and screw it in (if there's anything left to screw it in to). Arrange the igniter so that it is either a) back where it came from or b) close enough that it'll ignite the gas quickly.
Gently drop in the bottom grate. Add the now-clean briquettes in any kind of pattern you care to use. I chose a boring grid pattern. Place the cooking grates back on.
Hook the         back up and check for leaks according to the manufacturer's instructions. Light it up, just to make sure it's all working. When it's cool, put on your nice new cover!


Introduction: Peanut Butter Cup Frappuccino Recipe. <PIC> With Halloween over, everyone must be enjoying their candy (from trick-or-treating and leftovers). So I thought I'd share a candy-inspired frappuccino recipe. This Peanut Butter Cup Frappuccino emulates these delicious peanut-buttery treats: Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and Reese's Pieces.I've only come across one Starbucks secret recipe version for this, but since Starbucks has limited syrups, it doesn't appear to come out right. That version mixes Toffee Nut and Caramel, but since I found Peanut Butter Torani at the store, I just went with that :) Step 1: Supplies. <PIC> This recipe is a single serving and makes about the equivalent of a 16oz Grande from Starbucks.Ingredients:2c ice1/4c strong coffee1/2c milk - or half & half or whipping cream1-2 tbsp chocolate sauce - Torani's Chocolate Milano Syrup is also an option3-4 tbsp Peanut Butter Syrup - see note below about using actual Peanut Butter2 tbsp Simple Syrup - more or less to tastePinch of  Xantham Gum (optional)I did 1 tbsp chocolate and 3 tbsp peanut butter and at first it seemed a bit weak, but got stronger as the drink melted, so I wanted to put a range in case you want it stronger and/or you want more of one flavor or another. It seems like the chocolate is pretty strong compared to the peanut butter so you probably want less in comparison to get a good balance.ToppingsWhipped toppingChocolate SauceCut up Reese's Peanut Butter CupMashed up Reese's PiecesAlternative Ways to Make ItCaffeine-FreeReplace coffee with milk (or whatever you are using).Peanut Butter VersionYou can try making it with peanut butter instead of the syrup. I have done this before and it works, but it changes the texture of the drink because of the Peanut Butter. My husband preferred it this way and compared it to the texture of a protein shake.Add-insYou could cut up/mash up Reese's peanut butter cups (probably 1 to 3 would do like I did with the Oreos in my Oreo Frappuccino) or Reese's pie es and blend them in with the drink. Probably be similar to using chocolate chips like in my Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino.Utensils:Blender - I use a Magic Bullet at home, it's great for making individual drinks though doesn't blend quite as well as the VitamixIce cube trays - small ice cubes make for even easier blendingMeasuring cups and spoonsCups for servingStraws Step 2: Blend. <PIC> Time to mix up all of your ingredients. If you want to throw any candies in, I would suggest cutting/mashing them up a little first and then throwing them in to blend with everything else. Step 3: Top and Enjoy. <PIC> Time to top it and enjoy!Here are my suggestions from earlierWhipped toppingChocolate SauceCut up Reese's Peanut Butter CupMashed up Reese's PiecesIf you have any additional suggestions, please share your ideas! Step 4: More Pictures. <PIC> Just because.


Introduction: Spooky Jello Worms. <PIC> Here’s the premise of these spooky jello worms – you stuff as many bendy-neck straws that have been straightened out into a container that can hold at least 4 cups of liquid. Pack them in there as tight as can be. Then, pour the jello gently into and over the straws, refrigerate until set, and then delicately squeeze the worms out of the straws.
To say these jello worms were an absolute hit with my kids would be the understatement of the year. They went beserk. Shouting “Look, I’m eating a worm! Aaah!” didn’t get old, even after they had inhaled many, many of these squirmy little worms.


Introduction: 18 Digit Blueberry Cheesecake Pi Pie. <PIC> This recipe puts the first 18 digits of pi in pie form.
Finally, math made delicious!
3 cups Blueberries
1/4 cup Granulated Sugar
1/5 cup Brown sugar
9 Tbs Water
2 Eggs
6 oz Pecans
5 tsp Lemon Juice
3 Tbs Cornstarch
5 tsp Vanilla
8 oz Cream Cheese
9 inch Pie Crust
7 dashes Nutmeg
9 Squares of Chocolate
3 Tbs Butter
2/3 cup FlourCheesecake
Beat granulated sugar and cream cheese.  Beat in eggs, half of the vanilla, lemon juice and a tablespoon of flour.Blueberry Filling
Dissolve cornstarch in water and mix with berries and remaining vanilla.Crumble Top
Mix the rest of the flour with the butter, brown sugar and nutmeg.  Mix in pecans.Chocolate Drizzle
Melt chocolate and drizzle over pie.


Introduction: Caprese Skewers. <PIC> Caprese skewers are the perfect party food for any occasion. You can't go wrong with tiny tomatoes, basil, and mozzarella balls  - it's a salad on a stick!  They're so easy to make and fun to eat, you'll be looking for reasons to make them.  Why wait for a party?  They're a perfect treat to keep the family happy while dinner's on its way. Step 1: Ingredients. <PIC> All you need are some tiny tomatoes, fresh basil, and little mozzarella balls and fresh basil.  If you can't find the little ones, just chop up what you have into bite sized pieces!
If you're feeling fancy, you can add a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil and/or balsamic vinegar at the end. Step 2: Preparation. <PIC> Rinse your tomatoes really well.  I also like to rinse and salt the mozzarella, but that's entirely up to you.
Clean your basil, and trim the leaves if necessary. Step 3: Put It on a Stick!. <PIC> Get yourself some fancy toothpicks and start assembling.
There's no wrong way to skewer your caprese, so go wild!  It's great to get kids and party guests involved too.  Everyone has a great time with caprese skewers!


Introduction: Homemade Pizza Night. <PIC> Friday night is pizza night at our house.  We've found that pizza from scratch isn't that difficult and tastes way better. Try for yourself and see! Step 1: Dry Stuff. <PIC> To make two 14" pizzas, measure 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour and 1/2 cup whole wheat flour. I've made with all white flour and it's fine. Stir in 1 Tbs dry yeast and a small handful of flaxseed meal. Step 2: Making the Dough. <PIC> Measure 1 cup of milk (if you like making cheese, this is an excellent use for whey), and 2 Tbs olive oil.  Microwave the milk or whey for 1 minute, add the olive oil to the milk then pour it into the dry mix and stir until combined.  Step 3: Knead. <PIC> Once the dough is combined, spoon it out onto a well floured surface. I do it right on my pizza peel. Knead for 5 minutes working a little flour in if necessary. After five minutes you should have less stress and a nice ball of dough (win-win).  Place it in a floured bowl, cover with a clean towel and put in a warm spot for 30-60 minutes.  The warm milk makes it rise pretty fast.  Step 4: Assembly. <PIC> After rising, drag a knife through the middle to divide the dough in half. Flour the pizza peel and roll out half the dough. I roll for a bit then pick it up, add flour to the peel and roll a little more. You do not want the dough to stick to the peel.  Start heating your oven to 425F with your baking surface in there. It's very important to heat your pizza stone with the oven. I've had stones and tiles, I currently use a cast iron pizza pan made by Lodge and love it.  Step 5: Ingredients. <PIC> At this point it's up to you.  The pics show tomato pizza sauce, mozzarella, ham and pineapple. We've done all sorts of pizza toppings. I especially like browsing through leftovers and improvising. Baking time depends on how crispy you like it, I just keep checking until it looks done.  In a pinch the whole process can be complete in an hour or less. If you have time, it's great fun to have the kids pitch in and put their own toppings on. We've entertained friends by having toppings out like a buffet and people make personal pizzas. This dough works for grilled pizza also. Enjoy. If you make this crust, let me know how you like it.


Introduction: Alfajores - Peruvian Sandwich Cookies. <PIC> Alfajores are delicious sandwich cookies common in Peru and Argentina. This Peruvian version features chancaca syrup, a decadently rich concoction made with chancaca, a form of unrefined sugar whose English equivalent is called jaggery. It can also be found in Indian groceries as gur. Chancaca sugar includes many minerals which are normally filtered out of refined sugar, such as potassium, iron, and magnesium. It is dark, rich, and tastes like a combination of brown sugar and molasses.Syrup Ingredients:1/2 cup orange juice1 1/2 cup chancaca sugar1 cup granulated sugar2 cups water1 cinnamon stickCookie Ingredients:2 cups all-purpose flour1 1/2 cups butter (one and a half sticks)4 tbsp confectioner's sugar1/2 tsp vanilla extractHelpful Gear:French rolling pinPastry boardHeavy bottomed stainless steel sauce panSilicone scraperStainless steel food mould/cookie cutterSilpatJellyroll pan Step 1: Prepare Syrup. <PIC> Chancaca syrup can take some time to make, and I recommended starting well in advance. It needs to be brought to a boil, then simmered to reduce it to about 1/8th it's volume. This should be done at as low a heat as possible to prevent it bubbling over. It should also be stirred frequently.Place the water, cinnamon, chancaca, and sugar in a heavy-bottomed stainless steel sauce pot over medium heat. The chancaca sugar should break up easily during heating. Stir frequently. Bring to a boil. Add orange juice then simmer for up to 30 minutes until thick and syrupy. Allow to cool. Step 2: Prepare Dough. <PIC> Add the flour, butter, vanilla, and confectioner's sugar to a bowl and mix until a dough forms. Place the dough in a refrigerator for at least 20 minutes. Place dough ball on a well-floured pastry board and proceed to the next step. Step 3: Cut and Bake Cookies. <PIC> Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Roll out the dough gently to a thickness of between 1/4 and 1/8 inch depending on your preference. I like my cookies a little thicker at 1/4", but this will result in fewer cookies (in any event, you are going to have leftover syrup). Cut with your favorite cookie cutter or mould.Bake in a 350 degree Fahrenheit oven for 15-20 minutes until browned. Allow to cool. Step 4: Alfajores, Assemble! :). <PIC> Spoon syrup onto an upside-down cooke and cover with a rightside-up cookie. Assemble until all cookies have been used. There will be some syrup left over, which is incredible on ice cream, pancakes, and in cheesecake.Enjoy!


Introduction: Blackberry Peach Anti-Occu-Pie. <PIC> This may well be the most politically incorrect receipe you will ever see.  Please note that in contrast to the original, this Occu-pie is very pleasing to the senses.  My wife thinks it is one of the best pies I have ever made.  Read on.
Before you go any further, click the "view all steps on one page" button just under the "Occu-Pie" title.  It will make viewing easier.  Step 1: Warning. <PIC> Warning.  Proceeding beyond this point will expose you, dear reader, to political humor and symbolism that some will, if I have done my job properly, find offensive.
Proceed at your own amusement.
*Warning photo credit: Scott Beale / Laughing Squid at laughingsquid.com. Step 2: The Genesis of Occu-pie. <PIC> I work at a job that was no doubt saved or created by Obama,  Last week, I had just come back from a nice Thanksgiving holiday and was reflecting on the plethora of food that was prepared, with particular fondness for the deserts.  As I sat down to eat the final remnants of my factory raised Thanksgiving turkey, I spied, on page D3 of the local newspaper, yet another article concerning the Occupy protests.  Then it hit me: I needed a piece of pie.  In fact, I needed a piece of  Occu-pie.
So there it was: the name of my new dessert.  Now all I had to do was figure out what to put in my Occu-pie.   Step 3: Rollin' in the Dough. <PIC>
          I know, I know.  There isn't supposed to be any "dough" in Occu-pie, but wake up, dear reader.  The whole thing is built around "dough".  (Note for our non-English speaking friends: "dough" is a slang term for money)Crust Ingredients
		2 cups flour
		3/4 cups vegetable shortening
		1/2 teaspoons salt
		5 tablespoons tonic water
		2 tablespoons honey
		1 teaspoon cinnamon
		3 tablespoons cashew nuts
		1/2 teaspoon baking powderDirections
		Chop cashews until very fine.
		Put all of the dry ingredients in a mixing bowl and stir together.
		Add the honey and shortening.
		Use a pastry cutter (pictured), a fork, or your hands to blend everything together.  Do not over mix.
		When everything is mixed, add the tonic water a little at a time until the dough is able to form in to a ball.
		Shape dough into two balls, one slightly larger than the other.  Put into refrigerator to chill.  This will make forming the crust easier later.Why did I choose these ingredients?
		Cashews: Let's face it.  There are a lot of nuts in Occu-pie.
		Bleached white flour: Lots of bulk, but absolutely devoid of nutritional value.
		Baking powder: Being a leavening agent, baking powder makes the substance appear larger than it otherwise would, similar to what the media can do to news stories, if they so choose.
		Honey: This reminds us of the hive mentality as we observe our Occu-pie.
		Tonic Water:  There are parts of Occu-pie that are all wet and very bitter!
		Vegetable shortening:  Very greasy, and when you touch it, you feel like you really just need to wash your hands.
		Cinnamon: Have you ever tried eating a floury ball of grease before?  I wouldn't recommend it.  To make it palatable, we are adding this strong, pleasant smelling spice to hide the horrid mass that is the base of our Occu-pie.
		Salt: Most of Occu-pie is not worth its salt.  Nonetheless, we are adding it as a charitable act.  What perfect symbolism to capture in Occu-pie. Step 4: Occu-pie Is Very Fruity. <PIC>
          Urbandictionary.com defines "fruity" as follows. 	"Fruity" has a precise meaning, but is difficult to define. Loosely speaking, the word refers to something which is cheerfully and perkily saccharine, naïve, generic, corny, banal, innocuous, un-self-consciously dippy, sexually neutered (or, conversely, having perverse subtexts), or just plain dumb - and is amusing because of it. Dorkiness which doesn't even know that it's dorky, but celebrates its own dorkiness anyway: that which is flamboyantly and happily retarded. Closely synonymous with gay, in the not-necessarily-homosexual sense.
	It was pretty clear from the beginning that Occu-pie was going to be fruity.Filling Ingredients
		3 cups blackberries:
		3 cups Peaches
		1 cup granulated sugar
		3/4 cups brown sugar
		1/3 cup powdered sugar
		3 tablespoons minute tapioca
		1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
		1/2 teaspoon almond extract
		2 teaspoons cinnamon
		6 oz Coke
		1 orangeDirections
		Wash and drain blackberries
		Peel and slice peaches
		Put "minute tapioca" into a blender and grind it until it is a fine powder.  This helps with consistency, but is not mandatory.
		Squeeze juice from orange over berries.  Use zester or grater to collect 2 teaspoons of zest.
		Combine all ingredients in a large sauce pan and cook over medium-low heat until mixture boils.  Should take about 15 minutes.  Do not over cook.
		When filling nears boiling point, lower heat and keep mixture warm until you are ready to use it.
		Move on to next step while this is cooking.Why did I choose these ingredients?
		Blackberries:  I had a lot of blackberries left from this summer's harvest.  I realize that self-sufficiency and preparing for winter are against everything that Occu-pie represents.  I apologize for the faux pas;  it could not be helped.  Apart from that, blackberries are little more than a conglomeration of hard, irritating little seeds.  Their only redeeming quality is the juicy tidbits that resides on the outside of the mass.  <symbolism save!>
		Peaches:  We need to peel the peaches because we don't want any "fuzz" in our Occu-pie.
		Granulated sugar:  You know how you feel after a day at the beach?  The sand is everywhere and is rubbing you in all the wrong ways.  The granular nature of the Occu-pie sugar represents these tiny annoyances.
		Brown sugar:  Occu-pie is an equal opportunity dessert.  I could not, in good conscience, exclude brown sugar from the mix once I chose to include the white, middle class granulated sugar.
		Powdered sugar:  As with the brown sugar, powdered sugar deserves a place in our Occu-pie, regardless of the actual merits of its inclusion.
		Minute tapioca:  Why work hard with "real" tapioca when we can have it instantly?
		Vanilla extract:  The term "plain vanilla" is used to describe something that is run-of-the-mill and non-descript.  A "plain vanilla" protest. for example,  would have characteristics very much like other protests and would, therefore, be old-hat.
		Almond extract:  Essentially, just a concentrated splash of nuts,
		Cinnamon:  Often used in pickling.  I suspect that many who partake in Occu-pie are more than a bit pickled themselves.
		Coka-Cola:  Every good gathering with Occu-pie needs a little coke!
		Orange:  When you observe the people who most enjoy Occu-pie, you can't help but think that they have consumed more than a fair amount of acid! Step 5: I Knew It: Flakey. <PIC>
	Urbandictionary.com defines "flakey" as "to be unreliable, and/or absent-minded, flighty, fickle. Generally unresponsible."Directions
		Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees F.
		Remove the larger of the two dough-balls from the refrigerator.  This will be the bottom crust.
		On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough until it is slightly larger than the pie pan.
		To move formed dough to pie-pan, use large, straight knife to separate dough from counter as shown.  Using spatulas, fold dough in half and then half again and place in pie pan.  Unfold.
		Use overhanging dough to patch any holes in the crust. Pinch edges.
		Cook in 400 degree oven for 10 minutes.
		This step is optional, but you will regret not doing it.  After 10 minutes, remove crust from oven and fill crust with dry beans.  The beans will weight the crust down and prevent the crust from becoming deformed.  Another, more simplistic option, is to use a duplicate, empty pie pan in place of the beans.
		Cook crust another 10-15 minutes.  If the edge is getting too brown, cover it with foil to prevent burning.
		Remove pie crust before it is completely done.  It will finish cooking later.
		While the bottom crust is in the oven, roll out the other ball of dough for the top crust.  Fold as before to place on pie.Symbolism of the crust?
		The base of Occu-pie is flakey and half-baked. Step 6: Gather Together and Turn Up the Heat. <PIC>
Time to put it all together.Ingredients
		1 egg whiteDirections
		After removing the bottom crust from the oven, place fruity filling in crust.  Fill to almost level with top.
		place top crust on pie and seal edges by pinching dough closed.
		Cut about 10 small slits in top crust to allow steam to escape while cooking.
		brush top crust with egg white.  This will make your Occu-pie nice and shinny.
		place in 400 degree oven and bake uncovered for 15 minutes.
		After 15 minutes, completely cover Occu-pie with foil and bake at 350 degrees for an additional 15 minutes.
		While pie is baking, move on to next step.Symbolism of the gathering?
		As stated before, the base of Occu-pie is flakey and half-baked.
		The core of Occu-pie is fruity.
		You will most likely have some filling left over that will not fit into your pie, demonstrating the cold, hard reality that, even in Occu-pie, some fruits simply don't fit in.
		The whole of Occu-pie has been given a special treatment to make it look all shinny and neat.  Without this external treatment, the whole Occu-pie would be dull and listless. Step 7: Whip 'em Good. <PIC>
          Let's face it.  When we are dealing with Occu-pie, something just needs to be beaten and whipped.Meringue Ingredients
		3 egg whites
		1 teaspoon cream of tartar
		1/2 cup powered sugarInstructions
		Whip egg whites on high speed for 1 minute
		Add Cream of Tartar and continue whipping until stiff peaks form, may take several minutes.
		Once peaks form, continue mixing and add powdered sugar slowly.  Whip until peaks form.
		Remove Occu-pie from oven.  At this point, entire Occu-pie should have been baking for 30 minutes.
		Spoon meringue on Occu-pie.  Start by placing small dollops around the perimeter of the Occu-pie.  Add dollops along a diameter of the Occu-pie.  When finished, the merengue should resemble the universal symbol for NO (see photo).
		Bake in 300 degree oven until meringue is browned (about 10 minutes).
		Remove from oven and let Occu-pie cool completely to allow the filling to set. Why did I choose these ingredients?
		Egg:  Extra-bonus symbolism points if you harvest fertilized eggs before they develop into a viable being.
		Cream of Tartar:  This is a byproduct of wine making.  While those associated with Occu-pie may not be experienced in wine making, I suspect they have more than a passing acquaintance with its result.
		Powdered sugar:  Not really a powdered sugar so much as a granularly challenged sugar.
		Why the "No" symbol?  Because we don't know what Occu-pie is for, but we do know what Occu-pie is against: everything! Step 8: Maximize Enjoyment. <PIC>
          Now that you have created what I am sure will become a great movement, there are a couple "enhancements" that you might want to make to the basic recipe,
Enhancement #1:  Pepper spray.  This enhancement is self explanatory.  No comment needed. 		Blend 1 shot vodka and 1 hot pepper in blender.
		Let sit for at least 2 hours.
		strain through fine sieve or coffee filter
		pour into spray bottle and spritz your nearest Occu-pie.
Enhancement #2:  Partner with the 1%.  Occu-pie is best enjoyed when it is washed away by the 1%.
		One glass of 1% (lite) milk.
		Consume as needed to make the Occu-pie more palatable. Step 9: Clean-up. <PIC> This step is what separates Occu-pie from all other dishes.
When you are finished making your Occu-pie, you should have a huge mess in the kitchen.  Fret not, this is Occu-pie.  Someone else will clean it up for you!.   Step 10: Vote for ME!!!!. <PIC> If you like this Instructable, please vote for me to win the Pie Contest.
"But wait," you say, "there is no pie contest."
Hogwash, I say.  There was a weekly pie challenge that closed but a few short weeks ago.  I want you to vote for me so I can win that contest.
"But the challenge is already over," you say.
Nonsense, I say!  I deserve to win!
"It's too late," you say.  "Someone else won the contest while you were sitting on your butt doing nothing."
Irrelevant, I say.  It is your duty to ensure that I am successful at this contest, regardless of my efforts or lack thereof.
And so it goes.


Introduction: Crispy Ground Beef Tacos Recipe. <PIC> Tacos have been one of the few things I do well and that's probably because I've been making them since I was a teenager. In this recipe I'll also show you how easy it is to make crispy taco shells. Nobody should ever have to suffer through store bought crispy shells. You can also replace the beef with diced up chicken breast. Here's what you'll need. This makes about 10 tacos. Cook and prep time is about 45 minutes.1lb ground beef1 med. onion1 container of fresh salsa (mild/med/hot your choice)1 teaspoon cumin powder1-2 tomatoes1 cup of shredded cheddar cheese.1 head of lettuce1 package of corn tortillas (12 count)1 cup of vegetable oil (enough to fill your fry pan about 1/2 inch)1 can refried beans (if you want to stretch your beef to make more tacos)I'm hungry already, it must be lunch time. Step 1: Start Cooking Beef + Onions. <PIC> Chop of the onions as small as you like.Add onions and ground beef to largish fry pan.Put them on medium heat and mix them up.  Step 2: Add Salsa and Cumin. <PIC> Once the beef is browned.Add 1 teaspon of cumin.Add all of the fresh salsa.Mix and cook for about 15-20 minutes. Do not cover. You don't want it too wet at the end, but it will be juicy. Step 3: Get Cheese, Tomatoes and Lettuce Ready. <PIC> Grate your cheese.Sharpen your knife. Cut up the tomatoes.Wash and dry your lettuce. Step 4: Make the Taco Shells. <PIC> Pour your vegetable oil in an 8" fry pan.Put it on med/low heat. You can test if it's ready by putting a small dash of water from your finger and if it starts popping, you're ready.Each tortilla will only take a couple of minutes to cook.Place a tortilla in the oil, after a minute or so, flip it, then take it out. You'll have to experiment to see how crispy you like your shells, the longer you cook them, the crispier they will get. If you make them way ahead of time, don't make them too crispy, then you can warm them in the oven just before you're ready to eat without them getting too hard.Place your shells on a paper grocery bag or a bunch of paper towels to soak up the excess oil. Step 5: Garnish and Serve. <PIC> Now put your tacos together with quantities that fit your appetite.Put in the beef.Then the cheese.Then the tomatoes.Then the lettuce. Step 6: Enjoy!. <PIC> My favorite step, beer and tacos. It's usually my second as I can't resist having one while I'm cooking.If you were thinking ahead, you would already have a beer glass in the freezer.


Introduction: Sweet Curry Summer Rice Salad Recipe. <PIC> Sweet Curry Summer Rice Salad Recipe by MaddylaneA super summer salad to make for outdoor gatherings,  BBQ's...and especially beach parties, picnic's and for the cottage.You easily double and triple the quantities as needed. Ideal for large groups!In the summer time, who wants to slave over a hot stove... make your saladoutdoor, it's  really a great way to enjoy your day without feeling like you are working!!Ingredients:Chop Spanish red onions-Chop water chestnuts-Chop fresh herbs, basil, chives and parcel-Chop a red pepper-Chop apple pieces....Last minute addition, a leftover apple from lunch, perfect improvisedingredient to add, cant let anything go to waste!(fruits and nuts are always a great addition to anysalad)and then add all chopped items into the rice bowl.*While your chopping and preparing the saladingredients, roast the red pepper on a BBQ for15-20 minutesEnjoy!by Maddylanehttp://maddylanephotography.zenfolio.com/ Step 1: Sweet Curry Dressing Ingredients. <PIC> Ingredients'Dressing:'1/2 cup of olive oil1 1/2 tsp of curry paste1/2 cup of brown sugar2 tablespoons of white vinegar1 tablespoon of balsamic vinegar3 tablespoons of soya sauce1 tsp minced garlic1 tsp sesame seedsSpices to your liking, sea salt, pepper, Step 2: . <PIC> Add all dressing ingredients in a jar or container with a lid.Add spices, cover and shake it all up! Set aside for now! Step 3: Cook Rice. <PIC> Cook rice as per directions and let it cool! Step 4: Roast Red Pepper. <PIC> Pack up all ingredients and dressing mixture in a picnic bag.Once you arrive at the beach or picnic area...roast the red pepper for 15 to 20 minutes on a BBQ. Step 5: Chop Red Pepper. <PIC> On a cutting board - Chop up the roasted red pepper, and add to rice. Step 6: Chop Balance of Ingredients. <PIC> Chop balance of ingredients, Spanish onions, water chestnuts, fresh herbs...and add to the rice. Step 7: Chop Apple Pieces....Last Minute Addition. <PIC> -Chop apple pieces....Last minute addition, a left over apple from lunch, perfect improvised ingredient to add, can't let anything go to waste! Adds a bit of tang the the zang!(fruits and nuts are always a great addition to any salad)and then add all chopped items into the rice bowl. Step 8: Combine All the Chopped Ingredients and Add Sweet Curry Dressing. <PIC> Combine all the chopped ingredients with the rice and stir.Pour the sweet curry dressing over the rice mixture, mix and serve withyour favorite summer side dishes...Delicious with anything and even just on itsown...they will be asking for seconds!!!!!!Enjoy!Maddylane


Introduction: Dad's Clam Dip. <PIC> Growing up my dad would make clam dip.I remember him making it in a large, green glass bowl. There was never enough. With his passing in 2012 I won't be enjoying his dip anymore. This is the same recipe, but IMO it's not the same unless dad makes it. Step 1: What You Need. <PIC> 2 cans clams (one minced, one chopped)1 cottage cheese, Small Curd1 Block Philadelphia cream cheese (should be Philadelphia if possible)Onion powder (or onion salt.) To taste.Garlic powder (or garlic salt) To taste.milk (just a couple of teaspoons)Ripple potato chips. Step 2: Mix. <PIC> Combine all ingredients.You will only need a splash of milk and a little garlic and onion powder. Step 3: Let  Rest and Enjoy. Cover and place in fridge for at least 2 hours. Overnight is best.Serve with ripple chips.


Introduction: Making BBQ Chicken Cornbread Pie. <PIC> Welcome to the page where you will be learning how to create a savory pie that will melt in your mouth. Step 1: . Preheat oven to 400 degrees and grease a 9 inch pie pan. Set aside Step 2: Making the Cornbread. <PIC> In a medium bowl combine the Jiffy mix, egg, butter, and milk. Fold in corn and pour the mixture in the prepared pie pan and bake for 15 minutes or until golden brown. Step 3: Preparing the Chicken. <PIC> In a medium skillet on medium high add the olive oil, onions, and green pepper and cook until soft. Add the chicken and garlic and saute until chicken is browned. Season with salt, pepper, chili powder, cumin, and hot sauce and cook for 5 minutes. Step 4: . Add tomato sauce, Worcestershire sauce and brown sugar. Stir to combine and reduce the heat to low. Simmer the mixture until thickened about 5-7 minutes. Step 5: Putting the Pie Together. <PIC> Cover the cornbread with the chicken mixture and sprinkle lots of cheese on top. Turn the oven on high and put the pie in the oven for about 3 minutes or until cheese is completely melted.  Step 6: The Last Touches to Your Pie. <PIC> Cool pie for 5 minutes  and enjoy your BBQ Chicken Cornbread Pie


Introduction: Grandma's HOMEMADE VANILLA CAKE WITH CREAM CHEESE ICING. <PIC> 1. Soften 2 sticks butter1 3/4 c. sugar3 c. flour2 tsp. baking powder4 eggs (separate)1 tsp. vanilla1 1/2 c. milka small pinch of cinnamon 2.Beat yolks, sugar and butter and cinnamon3. Add flour, milk, baking powder and vanilla.4. Beat egg whites slightly. Add pinch of salt.5. Turn into other bowl. Mix.6. Pour mix in flour and  greased square aluminum pan.                      7. Bake in a preheated 350°F oven until done, 40-50 minutes.CREAM CHEESE ICING:                                                                                8. 1 stick butter, softened1 (8 oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened1 (1 lb.) box (2 c.) powdered sugar1 tsp. vanilla9. Beat cheese and butter and gradually add powdered sugar. Add vanilla and food coloring, if desired.


Introduction: "Everything & the Kitchen Sink" Salad. <PIC> We've all heard the saying, "Everything but the kitchen sink." Well this salad formula is everything AND the kitchen sink...because nothing is off limits! Use as much or as little as you already have in your kitchen, and just plug it into this formula accordingly.I've come to learn that a GREAT salad--one that you'll crave--comes from a mix of anything and everything you can throw in it! The plethora of textures, colors, and flavors keeps your taste buds guessing and your mouth begging for more. This salad formula I've created will combine each step's ingredients per roughly 2 cups of lettuce. Also, when a specific amount is given, it is referring to the TOTAL amount of everything you want to mix in from that category. For example, if it's 1/2 cups of grains and legumes, that would be 1/2 cups total of a mix of rice, couscous, quinoa, beans, etc per every 2 cups of lettuce.Let's begin... Step 1: Lettuces Galore. <PIC> Lettuces Galore: Mix and match as many lettuce types as you have on hand. Butter lettuce, red, endive, wild, iceberg, romaine, spinach, mignonette, oakleaf, red coral, radicchio, cos, rocket, watercress, chicory, etc etc etc. Whatever tickles your fancy. :) I like to buy the "Artisan" lettuce packs because they come with four different types already in them. Use as much as you'd like. Step 2: Seeds & Nuts (omit If Allergic). <PIC> Flax, chia, sunflower, pumpkin, etc seeds. Almonds, peanuts, cashews, walnut, Brazilian, etc nuts. Add in roughly 2 Tablespoons-1/4 cup (aka 4 Tablespoons) per every 2 cups lettuce. Step 3: Legumes & Grains (omit If Allergic). <PIC> Add some legumes and grains to your salad (unless you're allergic). This adds another layer of textures to make your salad even more enjoyable. These can include rice, quinoa, couscous, lentils, beans, chickpeas, etc.  Add about 1/2 cup of legumes/grains for every 2 cups of lettuce. Step 4: Something Sweet. <PIC> Adding in something sweet keeps the savory and saltiness of the rest of your salad grounded. Oh how your taste buds will love the hints of sweet! This category includes raisins, dried cranberries, pickled beets, agave nectar (usually added to the dressing, not drizzled over the salad...but there's a first for everything lol), fruits (dried and/or fresh, including tomatoes), etc.  Use as much as you'd like. Step 5: Veggies. <PIC> Add in a plethora of veggies. This includes broccoli, onions, cauliflower, peppers, celery, carrots, etc.Use as much as you'd like. Step 6: Something Unexpected. Always include something unexpected! Something that seems even unrelated to what is already in your salad. Such unexpected items may include artichokes, black or green olives, spicy items like jalapeno peppers, sour or tangy items (like lemons), hummus, etc.Keep these to roughly 1/3-1/2 cup for every 2 cups of salad. This keeps your mouth guessing and enjoying the "hunt" for these special endeavors. Step 7: Spices and Herbs. <PIC> If you plan to use something simple for a dressing (such as olive oil), you can add in different spices, seasonings, and herbs (fresh or dried) to add some fun and pizzazz to your salad. These include salt, pepper, oregano, Italian seasonings, nutritional yeast flakes, etc.Use just a sprinkle of each. So roughly 1/2 to 1 Tablespoon altogether per every 2 cups of salad. Step 8: A Simple Dressing & Optional Items. <PIC> With all the amazing naturally-occurring flavors in your salad, it'd be a shame to cover them all up with a heavy or strong dressing. So use something light. I like mixing together olive oil, minced garlic, Bragg's amino "soy" sauce, and nutritional yeast flakes. An even simpler go-to is just olive oil with lemon juice (and maybe salt and pepper). The choice is yours. Mix it up, change the dressing for each salad you create, and make something you love! Be sure to taste-test the dressing as you create it to get exactly the flavor you're going for.Use only the amount of dressing you need to finish off your salad...nothing more, nothing less. For 2 cups of lettuce, I enjoy roughly a couple Tablespoons of dressing. Optional Additions: For those who want to beef up their salad...lol, sorry about the pun ;)...you can add meat, cheese, yogurt, etc.Use these items sparingly as they add cholesterol and fats to your salad (and your arteries). I'd suggest keeping the combination of these items to roughly 1/4-1/2 cup per every 2 cups of lettuce. Step 9: Finished. <PIC> Now for some completed salad close-ups. (The marinated artichoke hearts look funny in the pictures, but I sure love them!) I went for a type of Mediterranean flavor today with a few surprise ingredients.You're done! Bon appetit! Share your impressive salad pictures in the comments below. :D


Introduction: Adult Slush. <PIC> These days there are lots of alcohol frozen drink pouches onthe market.  These are great for a tasty cool treat in summer, but you can’t recycle the container.  Here is an idea to make a frozen drink using small bottles that you would otherwise toss in the recycling bin. Step 1: . <PIC> You will need:A quantity of small plastic bottles Recipe ingredients (recipe at end)4 Quart saucepanFunnelMeasuring cup with pouring lipStrawsThe number of bottles you will need depends on the size of the bottles you saved from the recycler and whether or not you are going to add soda to the bottle when serving.  I ended up using 12 (10 oz) plastic water bottles.   I don’t recommend glass bottles because of the danger of the bottle shattering if filled too full. (The plastic bottle will also shatter if filled too full, but I’d rather deal with plastic shards if I make a mistake than glass shards.) Step 2: . <PIC> Bring the water and sugar to a boil in the saucepan.  Add the concentrates and mix well.  Turn off the heat once the sugar has dissolved.  Once the liquid is  cool enough to handle.  (You should be able to stick your finger in the liquid without saying bad words), add the alcohol.   I know the picture shows me just dumping in the bottle, but I was just kidding, measure it.  Too much alcohol and it won’t freeze properly, too little and it will take forever to thaw. Step 3: . <PIC> After you add the rum and brandy, use a pitcher or measuring cup with a pour spout and funnel to fill bottles about ½ to 2/3 full. Place in freezer.  (Man, I need to defrost that thing)  Take out of the freezer about 10 to 15 minutes before serving.  Stick in a straw and add soda if you like (at most of the parties I attended, parents drank the straight slush and the kids finished off the soda).  If you are taking these to a friend’s party, toss them in a cooler and they should be fine when you arrive.  The recipe mentions a variation with alcohol soaked fruit.  This would be fine if you are using wide mouthed bottles, but I wouldn’t recommend it if the bottles you are using have a small opening. Step 4: . <PIC> I adapted this recipe from one I found years ago in one of those supermarket recipe booklets that you find by the checkout.Slush3 cups water¾ cup sugar36 oz frozen drink concentrate, your choice of flavors1 pint Rum1 pint BrandyLemon Lime SodaBring water and sugar to a boil (3 minutes).  Thaw concentrates and mix with water in a non-metal 1 gallon container with a wide rim (I like a Thermos water jug).   Add rum and brandy.  Freeze at least 12 hours.  Thaw 15 minutes before serving.  Mix in glass with lemon lime drink.Variation:  I like to soak fruit in alcohol and add it to the container when partially frozen.  If you add it too soon, it will just sink down to the bottom. Step 5: . <PIC> Time to enjoy!!


Introduction: Lemon Sugar Cookies. These cookies are as delicious as they are easy and quick to make. Baking them fills your kitchen with lemony freshness.You will need:500g flour400g sugar80g butter2 eggs2 egg yolks the zest of 2 lemons. Step 1: Mixing. <PIC> Mix together the butter, eggs, yolks, and lemon zest an stir until everything is properly mixed. Add in the sugar, stirring the mixture until the sugar dissolves. Pour in the flour and knead it by hand or in a mixer until the dough is evenly mixed and doesn't stick to the sides of your bowl. Step 2: Forming. <PIC> Lay out the dough on a greased pan so that they are 1/4 of an inch think and 2 inches in diameter. Lay them out so that there is about 2 inches between them. Step 3: Baking. <PIC> In an oven preheated to 175 degrees (C), bake the cookies for 15 minutes. Step 4: Serving. <PIC> After the cookies have finished baking, take them out of the oven and let them cool for an hour. Then you can serve them on your favorite platter.


Introduction: The Bundt Cake of Barad-Dur (A Lord of the Rings-themed Cake). <PIC> RavingChild's birthday is a few days before Halloween, and usually his birthday party has the same theme as his Halloween costume. Since Halloween was Gimli the Dwarf this year, we needed to come up with an LOTR-themed cake. After some discussion, it was decided that the cake should embody the ultimate Evil of the LOTR saga - the lidless Eye of Sauron.
And the other ultimate Evil - Bundt cake. Step 1: Ingredients, Materials and Tools. <PIC>
	1 Chocolate cake mix
	1 Yellow cake mix
	Red and yellow food coloring
	White or cream cheese frosting
	Chocolate frosting
	Bundt pan
	Cupcake/muffin pans
	Red and yellow cupcake cups
	1 sheet  foamcore
	1 sheet posterboard
	Tissue paper
	PVA glue
	3 Cardboard paper towel tubes
	Assorted toothpicks and bamboo skewers
	Hot glue
	Black & silver spray paint
	Paintbrushes
	Hobby Knife
	Scissors
	Hot Glue gun Step 2: The Dark Tower - Initial Construction. <PIC> Using the cardboard paper towel tubes as the core, first I constructed the tower itself. Since the tower was not made of cake, this happened a couple of days before the party.
The paper towel tubes were sleeved together to the approximate height that I wanted the tower to be (less the forky bit at the top).  The spacing of the three tiers of the tower was marked out by eye, so that I could most efficiently  ignore it later.
Four discs were cut from foamcore - two large discs for the base of the tower and the top of the first tier and two medium discs for the second tier.  Two flat strips were used to bulk out the top tier a little bit. All of the discs had a hole in the center for the cardboard tube to slip through.
Now, the smart way to make the discs would have been to determine the desired diameter of each level by taking measurements from a photo of the tower from the movie, calculating accurate proportions based on the size of my Bundt pan and the height of the cardboard tube, then using a compass to mark out each disc, thus ensuring that the discs were sized consistently and the center holes were, well... centered. This is, of course, exactly not what I did.
Instead, I scoured the kitchen for bowls, cans, ramekins, bottle caps, and other circular objects that looked sorta like the right sizes, then traced around them with a pencil onto the foamcore. A spice jar turned out to be close to the right diameter for the center hole, and this was placed pretty haphazardly in the "center" of each circle, then traced.
The discs were cut out using a razor knife, and hot glued onto the center tube in almost precisely not where I had marked the tier levels earlier. I also glued a few scrap strips of foamcore onto the tube lengthwise, just for additional support.  A measurement was taken of the height of each tier, and strips of poster board were cut at something resembling this measurement, then glued into place to form the outer surface of the tower.
NOTE: You don't actually have to use black foamcore & posterboard, it's just what I had available. Step 3: The Dark Tower - That Forky Bit at the Top. <PIC> To make the forky bit at the top, I found a front-on photo of the tower via google, resized it to precisely match the scale of the tower I had built in the previous step, and printed up a pattern. Using the pattern, I made a basic foamcore piece in the shape of the fork.
This was when I came to the realization that the fork thingy was way too small to support the Eye of Sauron, and that I probably should have considered that kind of thing before I started randomly bashing bits of foamcore together. I needed to come up with a plan - a subtle and nuanced plan.
Uttering my battle cry: "Proportion be damned!", I scaled up the pattern and made a bigger fork. This was attached to a short segment of cardboard tube, then fleshed out with blue masking tape and posterboard side support pieces into a fair approximation of the tower top from the film. Step 4: The Dark Tower - Texture and Details That Almost No One Would Be Likely to Notice or Care About. <PIC> At this point, the tower was assembled, and a whole bunch of unnecessary flotsam was glued to it. Little triangular bits of foamcore served as crenellations at the top of each tier, little windowish blobs of hot glue were applied all over the surface, and more hot glue was used to draw in a shape that was supposed to look like either a massive front gate or a vending machine wearing a Coolie hat.
The entire thing was then painted with PVA glue and a layer of tissue paper was applied to every exposed surface. The idea was to add a bit of texture so it didn't look so much like plain posterboard. This would have been a great idea, if I'd had it before I glued all those stinkin' crenellations on. As it was, it was still a good idea. Step 5: The Dark Tower - Tons and Tons of Pointy Things.. <PIC> I cut a shield-shape out of posterboard and glued it to the front of the forky thing. Then I glued approximately a billion toothpicks, bamboo skewers, and larger bamboo skewers all over the tower, taking care to ensure that each one was lovingly trimmed to the correct length for its position on the tower. This was mostly accomplished using a wire-cutter and a lot of cursing. Please refer to the photos for some idea of the positioning, as trying to describe it in text would certainly cause me to break out in hives.
Note: My camera seems to have eaten several of the picturesthat should go here. Basically, I used toothpicks on the forky piece, thin skewers on the top tier, and thicker skewers on the bottom two tiers. These were just glued on vertically, with points protruding at the top of the tier, for the most part.
I should mention that some of the pointy things on the bottom tier were allowed to extend lower than the base of the tower, almost as if someone planned to use them to anchor the tower in some kind of soft, cakelike substance. It's probably just a coincidence, though. Step 6: The Dark Tower - I See a Tower and I Want to Paint It Black.. <PIC> The tower was base-coated with gloss black spray paint, and then dusted with flat black. The reason for using two different blacks was to accentuate the textures and contours of the tower using advanced prop-making techniques I have developed over the years while working as a theatre professional. No really, that was the reason. It had absolutely nothing to do with running out of paint halfway through and having to scrounge another can, and anyone who claims differently is a dirty liar.
In any case, a light dusting of silver spray paint was added to the fork at the top, which coincidentally enough,  also had nothing to do with running out of black paint.
Luckily, this meant that the tower was finished in plenty of time for the paint to dry completely , which in turn meant that none of the party guests would be receiving a slice of cake that tasted like wet spray paint. Step 7: The Bundt Cake - Things Go Horribly, Horribly Wrong. <PIC> This step really should consist solely of  "Then I prepared the chocolate cake mix and baked it in the Bundt pan according to the package instructions."  The best thing you could do right now is to stop reading and pretend that this is, in fact, all that it does say. In the name of all that is good and right, please move on to the next step now.
I see that you are still here.
Fine.
OK, so here's what really happened. I prepared the cake mix according to the directions, but before I filled the pan and baked the cake, I remembered that RavingChild really likes raspberry jam filling in his chocolate cakes. Usually, we do this by putting the jam between layers in a regular layer cake. If I had just baked the bundt cake, then cut it in half and spread some jam in there, everything would have been fine. But no, that would have been smart.
Instead, I thought back to my childhood and remembered how RavingMom used to make Bundt cake with swirls of cinnamon or other fillings in the center, and I vaguely recalled that this involved pouring in half of the cake batter, putting the filling in, then pouring in the rest of the batter. Seems pretty straightforward.... This is the part where the experienced bakers start chuckling and shaking their heads, because they know what's coming next.
Yup, I poured half of the batter into the Bundt pan, then several large blobs of raspberry jam, then the rest of the batter. Then I baked that sucker.
Later, as I extricated the misshapen mass of chocolate-raspberry ooze from the Bundt pan, I remembered about gravity and relative density and stuff.
Nevertheless, as I was short on both time and cake mix, I glued the thing together into a vaguely ring-shaped heap using three cans of Dark Chocolate frosting, and hoped for the best. Actually, since I was going for an irregular rocky mound-shape with the cake in the first place, this worked out just fine, design-wise. I just kind of prefer to do my design work on purpose, usually.
I had also intended to paint the cake black using spray-on food color, but I guess I got a bad can. It didn't change the color of the cake at all. I decided that dark brown was close enough and called it done. Step 8: The Lidless Cupcakes of Doom. <PIC> Sauron's gotta have an eye, right? And a kid's gotta have cupcakes every once in awhile.
RavingChild and I took half of the prepared yellow cake batter, and colored it even more yellow with food coloring. The other half was colored bright red. The colored batter was dropped in random spoonfuls into cupcake pans lined with red and yellow paper liners. Then the cupcakes were baked, which resulted in beautiful swirly fire-colored cupcakes. (For the exact same technique, only with many more colors, check this out.)
After the cupcakes had cooled, RavingChild and I colored 3/4 of our cream cheese frosting yellow, and the other 1/4 red. We frosted all of the cupcakes in yellow, then piped a bit of red along the sides, which we then feathered a bit with a fork for that "evil flaming eyeball" effect that has been a hallmark of fine baked goods for centuries.
Using a spray can of black decorator icing, we added a slit pupil to the middle of each cupcake. We were now ready to assemble the cake. Unfortunately, we seemed to have about 23 more cupcakes that we actually needed.
Darn. Extra cupcakes. I hate it when that happens. Step 9: One Does Not Simply Walk Into Mordor - Unless You Have Cake. <PIC> To assemble the cake, I first stuck the tower model into the Raspberry-Chocolate Cake Mass, using the conveniently located spiky bits on the bottom of the model. Lucky those were there....
RavingChild picked out his favorite eyeball cupcake to be mounted on the tower, and the Chosen One was placed between the fork tines and secured into place with toothpicks.
The remaining eyeball cupcakes were arranged around the base of the tower, because hey- cupcakes. Step 10: Storming the Tower. <PIC> In the end, it all turned out fine. The display was very successful, the kids at the party loved it, and the grotesque raspberry-chocolate cake blob tasted very good in spite of everything.
So there. Step 11: Bonus Video - How Lord of the Rings Should Have Ended. <PIC>
          This video cracks me up.


Introduction: Light & Easy Plum Tart. <PIC> This mouth-watering Plum Tart with Ricotta Cheese and Greek Yogurt is the right treat for your afternoon cuppa!  If you love juicy plums, then  this tart is for you!Read more ...Enjoy our easy recipes!Visit our new website:              www.happyfoodstube.comSo lets get baking! Step 1: Watch the Video for This Recipe:. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jxz05AB1CcE Step 2: Ingredients:. <PIC> 400 g (14 oz) Plums (3-4 large ones)100 g (3.5 oz) Ricotta Cheese100 g (3.5 oz) Greek Yogurt160 g (5.6 oz) Plain Flour100 g (3.5 oz) Caster Sugar60 g (2.10 oz) Unsalted Butter1 Teaspoon Cinnamon2 Medium Eggs2 Teaspoons Baking Powder2 Tablespoons Icing Sugar (optional) Step 3: Directions:. <PIC> 1. Cream the butter (soften at room temperature) with sugar for about 5 minutes.2. Add eggs, one at a time and beat with an electric mixer until fluffy.3. Throw in ricotta and Greek yogurt and mix again.4. Sift in the flour mixed with baking powder and cinnamon. Fold these in with a wooden spoon until all ingredients are well combined.5. Now wash the plums, cut them in half and remove pits.6. If using a silicone cake pan, place this onto a baking tray and pour the mixture in the pan. If using other type of cake pan, line this with baking paper (if you don’t know how to line cake pans, have a look at our video). Spread the mixture around evenly. Top with plums.7. Bake in a preheated oven at 180 C/350 F for 40 minutes or until an inserted skewer comes out clean.8. Once ready, take it out and let it cool completely before sprinkling with some icing sugar.9. Enjoy! Step 4: Subscibe/Follow Us to Get the Latest Updates:. ► Website:  www.happyfoodstube.com► Pinterest:   https://www.pinterest.com/happyfoodstube► Youtube:  www.youtube.com/happyfoodstube► Google+:  https://plus.google.com/+happyfoodstube► Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/happyfoodstube► Instagram:  http://instagram.com/happyfoodstube► Twitter:  https://twitter.com/happyfoodstube


Introduction: How to Make Easy 2 Ingredient White Chocolate Mousse. <PIC> This incredibly delicious White Chocolate Mousse is SO quick and easy to make! It’s smooth, light, creamy and ridiculously moreish. Throw in some raspberries & home made white chocolate curls? You are doing Valentines Day right this year my friend! Did I mention there’s only 2 ingredients too? I know right?! It’s the dessert that just keeps on giving.Here is what you will need to serve 2. For the White Chocolate Curls 30g White ChocolateDough Scraper  For the White Chocolate Mousse 70g White Chocolate140ml Double CreamA Few Raspberries, To Serve (Optional)  Essential Equipment 2 Small Glasses or Serving Pots Step 1: To Make the Chocolate Curls. <PIC> If you are going to make your own chocolate curls, place a baking tray into the fridge or freezer to chill until cold to the touch.Break the 30g of white chocolate into a small bowl and melt in the microwave in 10 second intervals stirring well between each time with a spatula. Then pour your melted chocolate onto the cold baking sheet and spread out evenly & thinly with a spatula.Keep smoothing out until the chocolate starts to set. When it has set, take your dough scraper and carefully start to scrape/push the chocolate so it rolls up into curls & shards.Store your curls in an airtight container in the fridge until needed. Step 2: Making the Mousse. <PIC> To make the mousse, break the white chocolate into a large bowl and pour in 40ml of the double cream. Heat in the microwave in 10 second intervals, stirring well between each time, until it’s melted and smooth. Step 3: Making the Mousse. <PIC> While the chocolate is cooling to room temperature, let’s whip up the cream.Pour the remaining cream into either an electric stand mixer with the whisk attachment or, like me, into another large bowl using a regular hand whisk. I prefer to whip cream by hand as you can so easily over do it and split the cream. So, whatever your chosen method, whip the cream until soft peaks form. Step 4: Making the Mousse. <PIC> Next, take 2 tbsp of the whipped cream and fold it into the cooled chocolate mixture with a spatula until blended evenly. Step 5: Making the Mousse. <PIC> Carefully fold through half the remaining whipped cream, being gentle enough to not knock out any air.Finally fold through the last of the cream just until it’s evenly distributed and you can’t see anymore streaks. Step 6: Making the Mousse. <PIC> Pour the mousse into your 2 glasses/serving pots & allow to set in the fridge for at least 2 hours.The mousse can be stored in the fridge covered in cling film for up to 3 days.When you are ready to serve, top with a few raspberries & a generous amount of your homemade white chocolate curls. Step 7: Tadah!. <PIC> Tadah! Didn’t I say this was insanely easy to make? If you don’t like raspberries you could just as easily swap them out for strawberries and/or blueberries. In fact, you could even swap the white chocolate for milk or dark chocolate. It’s such a versatile dessert that can so easily be tailored to your taste buds. So what are you waiting for? Get it on your Valentines Day dinner shopping list!For more awesome step by step recipes check out  www.kitchenmason.com


Introduction: Chicken Doner Kebab at Home!. <PIC> This is a great recipe that you can do a lot of prep before your guests arrive, and when it is set-up to cook it's pretty much hands-free until time to serve (so you can enjoy a few drinks).Not only is this a fun recipe it's also easy to make, cheap and pretty healthy if you don't overdue the condiments.Check out the step-by-step guide or view our videorecipe (next page)! Step 1: VIDEO RECIPE. Check the full Video recipe out here!.Click on the next page for the written step-by-step guide. Step 2: Ingredients:. <PIC> Main Ingredients6-8 Chicken Thighs6 Cloves of Garlic200g Natural YoghurtOlive Oil & Sea SaltZest and Juice of Half a LemonSpices:2 Tsp of dried oregano1 Tsp of smoked paprika1 Tsp of sweet paprika1/2 Tsp of cinnamon 1/2 Tsp of coarse black pepperChoice of Salad (we used iceberg lettuce, sliced tomato and red onion) with Pitta Bread to serve  Step 3: Step 1: Marinade. <PIC> Peel Garlic and place in Pestle & MortarAdd Two pinches of sea salt and grind to a thick pasteAdd Generous glug of olive oil and continue to stir until mixed in.Then add Spice mix and stir in until combined.Transfer to a larger bowl and stir in the natural yoghurt along with lemon zest/juice Stir until mixture is fully combinedTake Chicken out of 'fridge and cover with the spicy yoghurt mixCover with film, place in refrigerator and leave for minimum 2 hours, ideally over night. Step 4: Step 2: Adding Chicken to Rotisserie . <PIC> Take your rotisserie skewer and slide in place one of the Meat clamps.Take you first piece of marinaded chicken thigh and slide it down onto the meat clampRepeat this for each piece of chicken until you have a stack (if held vertically) of chicken thighsMake sure the chicken is on tightly and the weight is evenly distributed so it rotates properly when cookingSet up your BBQ (Gas or charcoal) to cook and take the rotisserie skewer outside to cook (you can cook inside under the grill, but you have to turn the meat periodically yourself.  Step 5: Step 3: Cooking. <PIC> With the coals lit / gas burners on, attach your rotisserie and switch on. The chicken will immediately start to cook. You will need  internal temps of 75C / 165F for the chicken to be cooked (a handheld thermometer will be perfect to check for this). Once achieved, stop the rotation and taking a sharp knife, slice off some chicken into a dish placed below. You can do this periodically as it is cooking to make kebabs as you go, or once you're happy the chicken is thoroughly cooked, take it off the grill (leaving to cool slightly), then slide off the chicken into a dish and slice it up nice and thin. Step 6: Step 4: Serving. <PIC> Using the same grill heat, warm up some pittas until they expand and slice them open at one of the longer ends so they open like an envelope.Depending on your preference, add the chicken or salad first then top up with the other filling until the kebab is nice and full.Top with hot sauce, mint yoghurt or whatever you like best.Serve and Enjoy! Step 7: Watch Again!. Unsure of any of the steps or just want to see the recipe cooked before you, check out the video link here:If you like what you see please Subscribe to my FOOD-D Youtube channel:Click the Link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqgczHKfzsZzyQP67EqFUGQ


Introduction: Mushroom Wontons. <PIC> This recipe is one of my favorites. They taste delicious and are perfect for parties. Also, they are pretty easy to make. This recipe makes about 30 wontons. Step 1: Ingredients. <PIC> Ingredients:
Wonton Wrappers
12 oz Cremini Mushrooms chopped
3 Shallots
1/2 cup Marsala Wine
1 tbs Cream Cheese
1 oz parmesan
Enough canola oil to cover a pan about a 1/4 of an inch
Materials:
Food Processor
2 pans
measuring cups Step 2: Cooking the Mushrooms. <PIC> To cook the mushrooms, cover the bottom of the pan in a very thin layer of canola oil. Allow the oil to heat for 1 to 3 minutes. Then add your mushrooms to the oil and allow to simmer for 5-6 minutes, stirring often. Next, add the shallots and a little salt. Cook for about 1 minute and then add the half cup of wine. Let the mixture simmer for 4 minutes. Sorry that I forget to take pictures during this step. Step 3: Food Proccesor. <PIC> Pur the mixture into the food processor and leave it on for about 30 second or until fairly smooth. It should be a little thicker than baby food but not a lot thicker. Next, add the parmesan and cream cheese. Turn on the food processor for about 10 more seconds. Remove from processor and pour into a small bowl. Step 4: Creating the Wontons. <PIC> Get the wanton wrappers, your mushroom mixture, and a little bowl of water. Place a small spoonful of the mushroom mixture  in the middle of the wanton wrapper. Dunk your finger in the water and spread it around the outside of the wanton. Fold the wrapper in half to make a triangle. Set aside and repeat this step until you have made all of your wantons. Step 5: Frying. <PIC> Fill a large pan with about 1/4 of an inch of canola oil. Place about 5-6 wontons in the hot oil. Leave on 1 side for about 3 minutes or unti light brown. Flip and fry on the next side for about a minute and a half. Repeat until all of the wontons have been fried. Allow them to cool for a few minutes Before eating. Serve and enjoy.


Introduction: Tea Bread. <PIC> Here's a trick to make your regular old white bread recipe really pop: Add tea!
I usually do this in a bread machine, since I can put it on an overnight timer, so the tea has plenty of time to steep. It's good in other bread dough too. Step 1: Ingredients. <PIC> Use your regular white bread recipe. If you're using a bread machine, it probably came with a recipe.
Most of these call for:
-Flour
-Oil (not pictured)
-Water (not pictured)
-Sugar
-Salt
-Yeast
I add: tea! Some kind of fine bagged tea, ideally one with a lot of flavor. Pumpkin ginger is good, chocolate teas, etc. My favorite is pomegranate black tea.
For proportionality, my recipe uses 4c flour, and I put in 2 bags of tea. Step 2: Open Tea Packets. <PIC>  Step 3: Pour Tea Into Mixer. <PIC>  Step 4: Add Water. <PIC> This should be warm-hot water. Step 5: Add Flour. <PIC>  Step 6: Add Other Ingredients. <PIC> If your bread is on a delay timer, make sure that the yeast isn't touching anything wet. Step 7: Put It in the Bread Machine. <PIC> This picture was taken partway through the bread machine's progress.
With pomegranate black tea, it smells deliciously fruity through the whole process. Step 8: Mm, Tasty Bread!. <PIC> Delicious bread when the bread machine beeps!
Slice and enjoy.
A little butter really helps to bring out the tea flavor in the bread.


Introduction: Lemon-Raspberry Yogurt Pops and Cups. <PIC> A delicious treat on a sunny day, you can make delicious and colorful yogurt popsicles or frozen yogurt from three simple ingredients!
-Vanilla yogurt
-1 lemon
-6 oz. raspberries (or another type of berry)
Squeeze the lemon into a blender. Add the entire 32 ounces of yogurt. Blend!
Save out some of the raspberries for decoration purposes. I put two in the bottom of each of my popsicle molds.
Pour out most of the yogurt mix. Leave just enough to cover the raspberries. Blend!
Pour alternating layers of raspberry and non-raspberry yogurt mixes into the popsicle molds. Freeze!
To make the frozen yogurt cups, use silicone cupcake molds, pour a thin layer of raspberry on the bottom, then pour the white yogurt from one side. It makes this delightful half-moon! Garnish with a raspberry before freezing.


Introduction: Cupcake Ice Cream Cones. <PIC> This is a play on the ice cream coneInstead of ice cream there is cake I've seen rainbow ones and plain ones tooBe creative Enjoy! :D Step 1: Ingredients . <PIC> Ingredients for the cake:You can use a box cake mix or make one from scratch and you can chose any flavor you want I decided on chocolate I used a box mix that needed a cup of water, 3 eggs and a stick of butter  Step 2: Oven . <PIC> Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Your box mix might tell you how to preheat your oven, but if you don't know 350 will do  Step 3: Mixing the Cake . <PIC> Then mix up all your ingredients according to the instructions for your cake  Step 4: Batter . <PIC> Your cake should look something like this My butter was all the way warm so there were butter lumps in the mix, but it really didn't hurt the final product  Step 5: Lining the Cupcake Tins . <PIC> Next take some tin foil and roll it around your hand to make a circle and place it in the cupcake tins This will help the cones stay up and trust me you don't want to miss this step  Step 6: Filling . <PIC> Fill the cones to where the cone opens up to the larger top Mine was about a half cup Now bake them for about 18-20 minutes You should really check then every 10 or so minutes the time really depends on your oven  Step 7: Frosting . <PIC> I chose to make peanut butter frosting to go with my chocolate but you can make any frosting you like For this frosting you need 1cup butter or margarine, softened1cup creamy peanut butter3 or 4cups powdered sugar1/4cup milk1/2teaspoon vanilla Step 8: Butter . <PIC> Cream the butter Don't over mix  Step 9: Mixing . <PIC> Add the rest of the ingredients but only put in one half of the powered sugar and mix them together  Step 10: Frosting . <PIC> Add the rest of your powered sugar in slowly It should look something like this Don't forget to taste it once in a while to make shore it's not to sweat and it's to your likings  Step 11: Back to the Cake . <PIC> Once your cones are done slip then out of the cupcake tins and let then cool until they are cool to the touch  Step 12: It's Time to Frost . <PIC> I used an ice cream scooper for frosting it made it look like just scooped ice cream  Step 13: Frost . <PIC> Frost your cakes and add any decorations you wantOne mine I added chocolate chips and bacon  Step 14: Your Done. <PIC> Now you can serve them Be careful, they like to fallIf you are taking them to a party I might frost them when you get there Save them in the fridge   Step 15: End . <PIC> Thanks for supporting me and please like and follow and if you happen to make these please send me a pic at my email panic_attack61@aol.comthanks and I'll be posting some more in the future Enjoy and happy baking! :D


Introduction: Karonde Ka Achar / Natal Plum Pickle. <PIC> Karonde ka Achaar is a very simple but interesting and a unique pickle which tastes awesome. Karonde or Natal Plum pickle is quick to make as it gets ready to eat in just 2-3 days. Karonda is very easily available in market especially in summer season.Ingredients:Karonda - 100 gms Cumin seeds/ Zeera - 1 tsp Carom seeds/ Ajwain - 1 tsp Salt -  tsp Asfoetida/ Hing powder - 1/2 tsp Methi dana - 1 tsp Mustard seeds/ Rai - 1 tsp Mustard oil - 1/2 cup Step 1: Method. For method, watch the video


Introduction: Super Easy Kosher Dill Pickles . <PIC> These are super easy kosher style dill pickles. If you want you can make just one jar - or 50.  It takes only about  5 minutes a bottle to make if you have the ingredient in front of you.  You can watch the embedded video.  My late mother and aunt use to make the hot processed ones with brine, till they found out these pickles turned out just well.  The only trade off is you have to store them in your fridge.  At some of our family dinners, the plate of pickles is the first thing to go. Step 1: Super Easy Kosher Style Dill Pickles. Super Easy Kosher Dill Pickles!  No cooking, heating.  But remember since these are cold bottled they HAVE to be kept in the fridge after they "turn."  About two weeks if you like them real  hot.  about a week if you like them mild.  Check out the short video. Here's What you'll need:about 12  dill cucumbers  per quart bottle (medium and small) 1  clove garlic per quart bottle1 Tablespoon kosher salt per quart bottleDill (long stocks, take flowers) and/or baby dill  1 bay leaf per quart bottle1 teaspoon Pickling spice  per quart bottle (You can get this in most supermarkets) 1 dried red chiles (or 1/4 teaspoon crushed chilies) per quart bottle Step 2: Sterilize the Bottles. <PIC> You can do this really easily.  Just pour boiling water from a kettle into a jar and after about a minute you can pour it into another jar.  You can do about three bottles this way before the water becomes too cool to be effective. Step 3: Wash the Cucumbers. <PIC> Wash and scrub lightly the cucumbers. Step 4: Add a Dill Flower to the Bottom of the Jar. <PIC> Try and pick a larger flower (They sort of look like a green spider!) and put it in the bottom of the jar. Step 5: Pack the Bottom Row of Cucumbers. <PIC> I try and get a variety of sizes of cucumbers - nothing to big.   I pack the bigger ones standing up in the bottom of the jar.  Squeeze them as tight as you can together. Step 6: Adding Bay Leaf, Clove of Garlic, and Some Dill. <PIC> Add half a bay leaf, half a clove of peeled garlic, and some dill (or baby dill) on top of the bottom row of cucumbers. Step 7: Second Layer of Cucumbers. <PIC> Add a second layer of cucumbers.  These are usually the smaller ones.  Don't pack them so tight that they stick up above the lip of the bottle.  Try and leave about a half inch of clearance. Step 8: Add Rest of Ingredients. <PIC> Add the other half of the bay leaf, a red chili (or half of chili, if you don't like them too hot).  If you can't find them, you can always use 1/4 teaspoon of crushed chilies.  Add a teaspoon a pickling spice and a tablespoon of kosher salt Step 9: Add More Dill and Water. <PIC> Add some more dill on top of the cucumbers and fill the jar to the top with cold water (yes, you can use cold tap water!) Step 10: Put on Lids and Shake Up the Bottle. <PIC> Screw on the lids as tight as you can and tip the bottle upside down about ten times to make sure the ingredients are well mixed with the water. Step 11: Age the Dill Pickles. <PIC> Leave out for between one and two weeks depending on how "hot" you want them.Shake the bottles each day they're out .Occasionally check the that the lids are as tight as you can get them.  You'll find you can tighten them from day to day.  You may hear concessional snaps from the lids, don't worry that's natural.   Leave out for between one and two weeks depending on how "hot" you want them.REMEMBER:  When they've turned KEEP them in the fridge! You can keep these for up to a year REFRIGERATED.  They  must live in a refridgerator.


Introduction: Dismantle a Chicken. <PIC> As a recovering vegetarian, I am always learning all sorts of new meat related skills. Most people probably already know how to do this, but I had to look it up, so I figured there would be other meat newbies like me who could use the instructable.
I started buying whole chickens and dismantling them myself to save some money. The more slices a butcher does for you, the more money you pay. Not only do you get more meat for your buck, but you can use the valuable bones for making your own chicken stock. So here is how to take apart a whole chicken, neatly, in about 5 minutes.
I am doing two at a time here so don't be confused when you suddenly see 4 chicken wings. It's not a mutant chicken, they were just on sale!Hardware:
- 1 very sharp chef's or boning knife
- Clean cutting board
- Bowl or ziplock bag for the meatSoftware:
- 1 whole chickenMethod:
Separate the wings. Cut in half, and remove the tips.
Remove the legs by slicing between body and thigh, popping the hip bone, and removing it.
Separate thigh from drumstick by cutting cleanly through the middle joint.
Remove the breasts by slicing them off of breast bone.
Cut carcass in half and use for soup stock! Step 1: The Wings. <PIC> With the chicken breast side down, hold up the wing and make a slice just underneath it to reveal the joint. Slice cleanly through the joint. Repeat with the other wing.
If you're cooking the wing, you can remove the nubbin. There's very little to eat on it and they usually burn anyway. I set mine aside for making soup stock later.
If you'd like, separate the wing into 2 sections by cutting clean through the joint at the elbow.  Step 2: The Legs. <PIC> To remove the legs, flip the chicken over so it's breast side up.
Pull the leg away from the body and slice through the skin between the body and both sides of the thigh.
Bend the whole leg firmly away from the body until you see the ball of the thigh bone pops from the hip socket.  Cut between the ball and the socket to separate the leg.
Repeat with the other leg.
You can separate the thigh and drumstick by cutting firmly through the joint between the drumstick and the thigh.  Step 3: The Breast. <PIC> There's a few ways to do the breast, but I like to keep from slicing through the bones as much as possible.
I bring my knife to the side of the beast, where you can see it connects with the breastbone.
Slice along the bone cleanly, following the shape of the breast. As you come to the middle, stop.
Bring your knife up over the breast, and slice along the middle to separate the breast.
This saves having to much around with cutting through the rib cage and connective tissues, but it does run the risk of leaving more meat on the bone. Repeat on the other side.  Step 4: The Rest. <PIC> There, you now have a whole chicken separated neatly into wings, thighs, drumstick and breasts.
Now you have cleaned the meat from the bones, you also have a chicken carcass left over.
You can toss it in the garbage (sacrilege!), cut it in half and use it to make soup stock, freeze it for later, or voodoo up yourself an army of walking chicken skeletons.


Introduction: Pie Pops. <PIC> Tiny pies on a stick!  Your mouth didn't know what it was missing.Thanks to lemonie for this post, which made it clear I needed to try my hand at pie pops.  As my loyal subscribers know, there's nothing I like more than making things tiny and putting them on sticks.  Pie pops was a natural fit.  I love a high crust-to-filling ratio, but if you don't, consider making these babies a little larger and the crust as thin as possible to accommodate the most filling possible!Enjoy :D Step 1: Ingredients. <PIC>
          These little beauties can be assembled with pre-made ingredients or from scratch.I used this pie crust recipe and the following filling to utilize fruit in season at the time:2 fresh peaches1 Tbsp flour1/4 cup sugar1 Tbsp butterFresh nutmeg and cinnamon to tasteTwo pie crusts1 egg for egg wash on crusts (opt)Lollipop sticksI also did a batch with Eric's Award Winning Pumpkin Pie recipe. Step 2: Prepare Peaches. <PIC> To peel peaches (and accelerate cooking), bring a pot of water to a boil.Add peaches and boil for 5 minutes.Remove peaches with a slotted spoon and immerse immediately in ice water.Now your peaches will peel easily! Step 3: Make Filling. <PIC> Peel, pit and finely chop peaches.Cut together flour, butter and sugar.To the peaches, add dry ingredients.  Stir to coat.Season with fresh ground nutmeg and cinnamon! Step 4: Cut Pie Crusts. <PIC> Cover your workspace with plastic wrap or a fine dusting of flour or cornstarch.Roll out pie crusts as thinly as possible - otherwise you'll be eating a mouthful of crust!Cut with a circle cutter or something similar - I used the lid off of a small jar. Step 5: Assemble Pops. <PIC> Gently press sticks into crust.  For added security, you can use a scrap of crust to cover the stick.Add a small dollop of filling to the center.Cover with another circle of dough. and press edges together securely.Using the end of a lollipop stick or a fork, crimp the edges. Step 6: Bake. <PIC> Transfer pops to a baking sheet.  Mine is covered with a silicone sheet.  Brush beaten egg white onto crusts.Cover the sticks with foil to prevent burning.Bake at 375oF (190oC) for 15 minutes.Pops are done when they are golden brown!


Introduction: Belgian Chocolate Cake. <PIC> In deze simpele stappen leggen we u uit hoe u gemakkelijk een heerlijke chocoladetaart maakt.Since you asked for an English version of the instructions, here you go! Step 1: Benodigdheden:. <PIC> -     140 gram pure chocolade-     3 eigelen-     3 eiwitten-     Anderhalve soeplepel maïzena-     Een klompje boter-     2 soeplepels melkOR- 140 grams of pure (Belgian) chocolate- 3 yellow parts of the egg- 3 white parts of the egg- 1 and a half big spoon of potato flour ( Maïzena)- a lump of butter- 2 big spoons of milk  Step 2: Smelt De Chocolade Met Een Beetje Water.. <PIC> Melt the chocolate with a bit of water? Step 3: Doe Een Anderhalve Soeplepel Maïzena, 3 Eigelen, 2 Soeplepels Melk En De Gesmolten Chocolade in Een Mengkom.. <PIC>  Step 4: Meng Het Geheel Tot Een Homogene Massa.. <PIC>  Step 5: Klop Het Eiwit Op En Doe Dit Bij Het Mengsel, Meng Het Geheel  Nogmaals Samen.. <PIC>  Step 6: Verwarm De Oven Voor Op 180 °C.. <PIC>  Step 7: Boter De Bakvorm.. <PIC>  Step 8: Giet Het Mengsel in De Bakvorm.. <PIC>  Step 9: Steek De Bakvorm 20 Minuten in De Oven.. <PIC>  Step 10: Werk De Taart Eventueel Af Met Bloemsuiker of Crème Anglaise.. <PIC>  Step 11: .


Introduction: White Chocolate Martini - the Perfect Holiday Indulgence. <PIC> What's more indulgent than a chocolate martini? A white chocolate martini with shaved chocolate toppings, blended with touch of ice cream. This one is sinfully delicious "dessert-in-a-glass."Ingredients:
• ½ ounce Godiva white chocolate liqueur
• 1 ounce Vanilla vodka
• ½ ounce White crème de cacao
• 2 ounces Vanilla ice cream base
• crushed ice Directions:
Blend these ingredients in a blender and pour into a 10–ounce chilled martini glass. Garnish with dark chocolate shavings. Note: You can also make this as a crystal clear chocolatini by skipping the ice cream, and shaking it with ice instead of blending it.
Enjoy!


Introduction: Italian Bread . <PIC> This is a great recipe for a dense, hard crust, and very delicious to eat. Ingredients: 1 5 lb bag of flour1 3 pack of active dry yeast 5 cups of milk1 stick of buttera pinch of salt Step 1: Prepare Your Milk. <PIC> Heat the milk in a sauce pan, and add the stick of butter.  Stir until the butter is completely melted into milk, turn off the heat and allow to cool.   It is very important the milk is room temperature before moving on to the next step.  Ice can be added to aid in the cooling process, but be careful not to chill beyond room temp.  Step 2: Prepare for Mixing. <PIC> Add the entire 5 lb bag of flour into a large mixing bowl and create a crater in the center of the flour.  Pour the milk mix into the center of the flour.  Verify that the mix is no longer hot from the cooking. (if the milk is too hot it will kill the yeast).  Cut each of the 3 packets open in the yeast pack and pour into the mix of milk/butter.  Step 3: Mixing the Dough. <PIC> Spoon the yeast to mix it in, then using your hands break up any clumps to distribute the yeast throughout the milk.  Allow the mixture to set for 10-15 minutes to allow the yeast to activate.  Using your hands pull the flour edges down into the milk, and begin to mix the dough.  Work the dough with your hands to mix all dry flour into liquid mix.  The dough should start to become consistent in form.  If the dough is still too sticky(sticking to your hands) after about five minutes of mixing then add flour until the dough no longer sticks to your hands.  If the dough becomes flaky or doesn't not hold together you added to much.  In this case add water until you the mix is evenly mixed and the dough does not stick to your hands.  Kneed the dough for up to ten minutes or until the dough is consistently mixed.  Take the dough ball out of the bowl, and grease the edges of the pan to prevent sticking during the rising.  Put the dough back into the bowl and cover.  let it rest/rise for 45 minutes.  Step 4: Punch the Dough Down. <PIC> After 45 minutes has passed the dough should have risen to twice its size.  Punch down the dough and allow it to rest.  After resting cut the dough into chunks that will fill a loaf pan half way.  Cover the pans and allow the dough to rise in the loaf pan for 30-45 minutes.  It will be complete when you see the bump coming through the covering cloth.  Step 5: Bake the Bread. Put the bread pans in the middle rack of a pre-heated oven set to 350 degrees F.  Bake for 10 - 20 minutes.  Bake time will very based on elevation.  Bread will be done when crust has a golden brown look on top.  Pull out of oven allow to cool and enjoy.  Eat or freeze the bread with in 1 week after cooking as there are no preservatives in the bread to prevent molding.


Introduction: Quinoa Jalapeno Poppers. <PIC> A slightly healthier take on a classic dish. Add panko crumbs (or gf panko/bread crumbs) for extra crunch.  Step 1: Ingredients. <PIC> 1 cup cooked quinoa5-7 Jalapenos, cleaned and chopped1 clove garlic, minced1 tbs sea salt (I used my wife's homemade infusion)1 tsp pepper2 oz cream cheese (soften)6-8 oz Colby Jack cheese (or use whatever cheeses you like)4oz Gouda3oz Asiago1 egg (for binding ingredients)Cupcake/muffin pan and cupsI basically chopped up and threw in whatever cheeses we had. So far haven't had a bad mix, but I usually limit it to 3 cheeses. Cream cheese is listed but I didn't use it this time because we were out.  Step 2: Prep Ingredients. <PIC> Rinse and cook quinoa according to package instructions. Set aside to cool.Preheat oven to 375. Prepare muffin pan. Step 3: Chop. <PIC> Mince garlic, shred/dice cheeses, and slice jalapenos. Step 4: Combine. <PIC> Add all of the ingredients to a bowl and mix well. Step 5: Fill . <PIC> Scoop spoonfuls of the jalapeno mix into the prepared muffin pan. Step 6: Bake. <PIC> Cook for about 15-20 minutes. You want the sides and top of the poppers to be a nice brown.


Introduction: Emergency Cocktail for New Years Eve. <PIC> Quick and Easy Whiskey Sour.
Ran out of time? Need something to take to that party but cant be bothered spending loads and lugging 3 - 4 individual bottles? I have the drink for you !!! From the co-inventer (not actually associated in any way) of the Kitten Mittens!
The No Fuss Whiskey Sour! Step 1: Start. <PIC> Get glass Step 2: Ice. <PIC> This is, arguably, the most important step in any good drink. The ice, yes the ice. Starting with the highest quality ice possible is essential, and the difference between a good and great cocktail.
It doesn't have to be shaped in Titanic and iceberg shapes, but it does help. Some will forgive a taste of chlorine if it's decorative. Step 3: Giv'em Three of Your Best. <PIC> Three fingers of whiskey over the ice.
I get a very reasonable drop of Grant's from Trader Joe's for USD$11.99. I think this price is restricted to California. As when I was in Boston earlier this year is was 30 bucks !? and TJ's didn't even have it. Step 4: . <PIC> Add sour (Trader Joe's Lemonade) to taste
Next step is to drink it, or combine it into a bigger bottle for transport .
HAPPY NEW YEAR !! burp hic