id stringlengths 36 36 | text stringclasses 177
values | source stringclasses 1
value | is_augmented bool 1
class | date stringlengths 32 32 | language stringclasses 1
value | token_count int64 6 55 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
fce4b7ea-d0f1-423a-82bc-373019c19307 | Windows is NOT a virus. Viruses DO something. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:54.532388+00:00 | en | 11 |
feaa8230-8346-440f-b029-fbfb1b07e93e | A product manager walks into a bar, asks for drink. Bartender says no, but will consider adding later. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:54.569397+00:00 | en | 23 |
6304c2b1-412b-47f4-b267-6885d51c2aeb | How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that's a hardware problem. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:54.609932+00:00 | en | 21 |
14220524-3035-43ff-9a8a-7035a9c1f5c6 | Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:54.649103+00:00 | en | 16 |
e570ea06-616f-434f-8319-b8d7985f7d40 | Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Programmer: The glass is twice as large as necessary. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:54.664913+00:00 | en | 31 |
4f783788-4198-4df1-b832-4b3b52d10bf5 | Microsoft hold a bi-monthly internal "productive week" where they use Google instead of Bing. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:54.693154+00:00 | en | 19 |
1dd4e1fe-57de-4d06-9392-259868af2ba3 | I changed my password to BeefStew but the computer told me it wasn't Stroganoff. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:54.729543+00:00 | en | 21 |
75468ea3-1e07-49e0-b91e-db81389f068f | Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:54.764931+00:00 | en | 8 |
14fae9f6-a603-4024-a59a-88a9f3ed794c | The C language combines all the power of assembly language with all the ease-of-use of assembly language. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:54.807080+00:00 | en | 20 |
3c0c6a3e-8e22-4d2a-b9d9-0280e5d995f8 | I for one am excited for the days when dereferencing a null pointer causes an aneurysm. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.091014+00:00 | en | 22 |
2687a370-b0d6-4a71-825d-3c88b89ed0fd | A programmer was found dead in the shower. Next to their body was a bottle of shampoo with the instructions 'Lather, Rinse and Repeat'. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.139753+00:00 | en | 30 |
7fe4acff-60e2-4592-9ab7-27f7cbadcf07 | Why do we want intelligent terminals when there are so many stupid users? | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.148570+00:00 | en | 14 |
08113014-b116-4627-9fdb-8f867d4aacd0 | ['hip', 'hip'] (hip hip array!) | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.195587+00:00 | en | 11 |
3234bb37-7a04-43b8-b65a-397d1af69925 | How many programmers does it take to kill a cockroach? Two: one holds, the other installs Windows on it. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.203969+00:00 | en | 24 |
2aa3cf9f-661f-43ef-9999-405cdf57481b | Why are you always smiling? That's just my... regular expression. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.215547+00:00 | en | 14 |
c8311b05-3b45-4cab-a6f2-6e5a9b47c62c | I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.222867+00:00 | en | 15 |
54ae40b6-77be-482f-8985-c066dd8852ed | What do you call a parrot that says "Squawk! Pieces of nine! Pieces of nine!"? A parrot-ey error. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.234945+00:00 | en | 30 |
4f3ab957-06a3-467b-aa51-f1a916740b05 | A COBOL programmer makes millions with Y2K remediation and decides to get cryogenically frozen. "The year is 9999. You know COBOL, right?" | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.247602+00:00 | en | 38 |
a27570ec-c2ac-4ec1-ab88-5a0ad0a7dfae | How many programmers does it take to kill a cockroach? Two: one holds, the other installs Windows on it. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.251614+00:00 | en | 24 |
95efe6d7-2712-435f-8207-1fa022bb4a30 | When your code does not change color automatically, Something's wrong, I can feel it. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.264869+00:00 | en | 18 |
37f3f1bb-c4aa-47c1-8253-fe0d5302339c | Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.290362+00:00 | en | 10 |
51ce218e-1036-47aa-92ba-d35a0fc3404d | Finding a good PHP developer is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Or is it a hackstack in a needle? | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.303550+00:00 | en | 25 |
0fa866e2-5e9c-4b05-848b-1cffbc6a6019 | How many programmers does it take to kill a cockroach? Two: one holds, the other installs Windows on it. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.324144+00:00 | en | 24 |
16646f4a-ab1d-4c91-9a07-54ef006ec63a | Ubuntu users are apt to get this joke. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.327611+00:00 | en | 9 |
57ec0aea-3898-4743-bbad-a1e1d3e235cb | Obfuscated Reality Mappers (ORMs) can be useful database tools. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.352839+00:00 | en | 15 |
9bceca9b-fc9c-4895-b623-cd0248717952 | Number of days since I have encountered an array index error: -1. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.365973+00:00 | en | 15 |
e247edb8-4353-4308-8da9-208f75c37e1c | There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who were expecting this joke to be in trinary. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.375432+00:00 | en | 31 |
39352683-a049-4b00-a2ae-28c50cf6c873 | WINDOWS stands for Will Install Needless Data On Whole System. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.394079+00:00 | en | 11 |
b44331b8-77f4-4c46-a60d-5a4856bee36d | A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.420864+00:00 | en | 17 |
63f1410e-68e2-4de8-b8ae-12be57e1cf6a | A programmer walks into a bar and orders 1.38 root beers. The bartender informs her it's a root beer float. She says 'Make it a double!' | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.430223+00:00 | en | 34 |
f3fe1b72-5936-496e-8f1b-71b11374dcfe | Java: Write once, run away. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.440935+00:00 | en | 8 |
e3c7f13a-b444-4ad7-84d5-a39fe45dc8f5 | Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? Because they don't see sharp. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.453242+00:00 | en | 16 |
e62c6c36-d67e-4fc5-bada-c9eb51211ec5 | All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.454738+00:00 | en | 14 |
a7fa0674-7b92-4000-8ff6-9b30991ea49e | Why did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn't get arrays. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.455140+00:00 | en | 15 |
61416e39-c457-4c38-b931-bf39c5b585f9 | Asked to explain Unicode during an interview, Geoff went into detail about his final year university project. He was not hired. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.455625+00:00 | en | 24 |
c6267f91-7737-4441-ac40-eeb9fa3af0ca | A programmer crashes a car at the bottom of a hill, a bystander asks what happened, he says "No idea. Let's push it back up and try again". | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.465765+00:00 | en | 35 |
9f9fccc2-c52d-4159-abf7-bc8b8ce6f7ac | What do you mean 911 is only for emergencies? I've got a merge conflict. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.476628+00:00 | en | 18 |
f81dc597-1d7f-4ac7-a933-db1c3a459789 | Complaining about the lack of smoking shelters, the nicotine addicted Python programmers said there ought to be 'spaces for tabs'. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.485762+00:00 | en | 25 |
65686a9d-ec85-45e9-9fc1-bf6e631ba78a | Why was the developer bankrupt? He'd used all his cache. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.490178+00:00 | en | 13 |
c85255b5-409d-4358-814d-332752d76139 | If doctors were like software engineers, they would say things like Have you tried killing yourself and being reborn? | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.507738+00:00 | en | 22 |
d98b87ed-9f7d-46f0-940d-25d5d8acc404 | Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.646327+00:00 | en | 20 |
85a609cd-4603-4b31-90fb-35a63e1ca77d | Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.662486+00:00 | en | 16 |
166838b6-9e2d-4fb0-8a69-fb76744645b2 | What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? Cat dog sin theta. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.709685+00:00 | en | 18 |
4d058c97-4d53-438d-b8ba-6549e578cc6b | Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.727561+00:00 | en | 19 |
59c0c4ef-ec07-4a64-98bc-aa558984611b | I changed my password to BeefStew but the computer told me it wasn't Stroganoff. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.800049+00:00 | en | 21 |
79238d49-0b78-4876-a44b-94a63d85879d | What's the object-oriented way to become wealthy? Inheritance. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.812783+00:00 | en | 13 |
940242ef-74fb-4179-8e0e-17f2fcf1f1da | There are II types of people: Those who understand Roman Numerals and those who don't. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.818763+00:00 | en | 19 |
9b1f5a6b-b219-4ab1-a71f-7349b5686d7d | Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.832411+00:00 | en | 20 |
529d143c-fe81-415c-84da-a40950ba62a8 | Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach. Those who cannot teach, HACK! | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.848338+00:00 | en | 19 |
ab54bb13-48b0-4e77-bd4d-398e8cbe051e | My attitude isn't bad. It's in beta. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.863209+00:00 | en | 11 |
be433bee-2c19-4da5-a991-41a8d4a516b2 | I've been using Vim for a long time now, mainly because I can't figure out how to exit. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.890090+00:00 | en | 22 |
08eeb109-c3d3-4c36-a1f9-21c809d4d014 | Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.937526+00:00 | en | 27 |
387a997d-6ae5-48f1-933c-eff6e38f84af | Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Programmer: The glass is twice as large as necessary. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.946441+00:00 | en | 31 |
a16f1e3f-f10b-49cb-b077-576808f67442 | Programmer's Time-Space Continuum: Programmers continuously space the time. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.948572+00:00 | en | 16 |
96b0ba19-3f0a-4012-a670-a03e9593a722 | Complaining about the lack of smoking shelters, the nicotine addicted Python programmers said there ought to be 'spaces for tabs'. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.950578+00:00 | en | 25 |
12e18528-7fcf-494d-941f-ee7e0b598dbb | I used to know a joke about Java, but I run out of memory. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.959411+00:00 | en | 16 |
2f42d00d-b9b0-4910-a114-c2843f1a8465 | What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? Cat dog sin theta. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.965327+00:00 | en | 18 |
5dc5bf09-ef6e-449e-99f9-a850f1edff52 | Obfuscated Reality Mappers (ORMs) can be useful database tools. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.972724+00:00 | en | 15 |
ea791474-76ea-49e0-9adc-f46397d24664 | A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.978491+00:00 | en | 17 |
5c8c3588-19b3-4d96-9dee-3165f12c1b17 | A programmer walks into a bar and orders 1.38 root beers. The bartender informs her it's a root beer float. She says 'Make it a double!' | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.986054+00:00 | en | 34 |
fd284677-0ba8-470f-a959-79861ef57e5a | A: What is your address? Me: 173.168.15.10 A: No, your local address Me: 127.0.0.1 A: I mean your physical address B: 29:01:38:62:31:58 | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:55.997658+00:00 | en | 55 |
8717c599-fbaf-4cf2-afc8-ab994f345888 | Why does Waldo only wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.007701+00:00 | en | 17 |
d93f70c4-11a8-470d-81ea-f642af8bfafa | The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.019465+00:00 | en | 14 |
cc85fabd-853f-4e2a-a0e8-19d6f011f728 | Computer analyst to programmer: You start coding. I'll go find out what they want. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.032323+00:00 | en | 18 |
4ed43658-6863-4247-8f69-c0b785e22d32 | Learning JavaScript is like looking both ways before you cross the street, and then getting hit by an airplane. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.042014+00:00 | en | 21 |
777caf0d-5591-4824-9b22-9bc53adfe206 | User error: replace user and press any key to continue. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.052716+00:00 | en | 12 |
d4ff9efe-dfe3-4cf6-a373-bfa2f45f7b25 | What did the Java code say to the C code? A: You've got no class. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.057637+00:00 | en | 19 |
19ed2acc-0a95-4f6a-9ea7-0100e8682d75 | How to explain the movie Inception to a programmer? When you run a VM inside another VM, inside another VM ... everything runs real slow! | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.100344+00:00 | en | 29 |
d6e91027-ec31-4cdf-80d9-0fb855de5989 | Bug? That's not a bug, that's a feature. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.126526+00:00 | en | 13 |
ebaf78f3-7830-4e33-8010-c0517acf37a5 | Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Programmer: The glass is twice as large as necessary. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.159723+00:00 | en | 31 |
fa0e5c71-9fd6-402d-a9cf-3909444a6ccd | Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? Because they don't C#. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.172182+00:00 | en | 15 |
4e62f5fa-f970-4711-857d-d62d084eb69f | If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.175565+00:00 | en | 29 |
9894659b-6ce6-4266-9d3f-809b1968ac7c | I had a problem so I thought I'd use Java. Now I have a ProblemFactory. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.180554+00:00 | en | 19 |
b3c35999-20f3-45f0-8d6b-8bce93bd1017 | What does 'Emacs' stand for? 'Exclusively used by middle aged computer scientists.' | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.185199+00:00 | en | 20 |
39aca77e-5f9e-4dbf-b0ad-41ae6854b933 | The box said: 'install on Windows 95, NT 4.0 or better'. So I installed it on Linux. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.185818+00:00 | en | 26 |
522c7904-081b-404b-97f0-609c8f21d857 | Child: Dad, why does the sun rise in the east and set in the west? Dad: Son, it's working, don't touch it. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.186692+00:00 | en | 31 |
1544c54a-32d1-4698-b6fc-8b88d8d8458d | Microsoft hold a bi-monthly internal "productive week" where they use Google instead of Bing. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.187276+00:00 | en | 19 |
6e5da74d-e213-4dcc-804c-d5097864ecc7 | I suggested holding a 'Python Object Oriented Programming Seminar', but the acronym was unpopular. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.188206+00:00 | en | 18 |
086055d7-fca4-4206-81be-4923523b84df | There are 10 types of people: those who understand trinary, those who don't, and those who have never heard of it. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.188713+00:00 | en | 28 |
6b006cea-6804-40c2-ae8f-9c93e2010998 | All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.191430+00:00 | en | 14 |
5d7d74c6-e52e-43ca-adf1-2a7fb853d6e1 | There are 10 types of people: those who understand trinary, those who don't, and those who have never heard of it. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.194422+00:00 | en | 28 |
c41920fa-1ad9-4cea-8342-92cc2b8c803b | Speed dating is useless. 5 minutes is not enough to properly explain the benefits of the Unix philosophy. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.196772+00:00 | en | 21 |
d2106c7f-7485-4309-96e4-29841357fc9d | Programmer: The ship I boarded crashed and I am dying! Project Manager: Then let's do a quick knowledge transfer session before you go. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.201550+00:00 | en | 29 |
65597b32-2b75-46c9-9e13-d320c047839a | Bugs come in through open Windows. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.207915+00:00 | en | 8 |
91283e67-c1c3-4aef-8674-036da39d52e8 | The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.209742+00:00 | en | 18 |
de1e8810-1d4c-4a7a-931d-bf763a6d9afe | When Apple employees die, does their life HTML5 in front of their eyes? | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.210470+00:00 | en | 16 |
0beab8d4-1086-4fdf-8675-22d685706484 | All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.214846+00:00 | en | 14 |
81b2b9ab-0212-4fe6-a7ce-e0057b0cf446 | A user friendly computer first requires a friendly user. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.255128+00:00 | en | 10 |
dd345f62-cc0d-4752-a554-ceece231388b | Two threads walk into a bar. The barkeeper looks up and yells, 'Hey, I want don't any conditions race like time last!' | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.268089+00:00 | en | 30 |
8baa118d-29d9-4688-ade7-a74ff575aaa6 | If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.298267+00:00 | en | 29 |
7cfff30f-5ce7-423a-a19f-8be2ee26b91c | Java: Write once, run away. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.330847+00:00 | en | 8 |
63eac65d-66f7-409d-b554-fa8280e1c9b2 | Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.364866+00:00 | en | 16 |
841bacb0-43bf-42f0-b426-de444ca06eaf | If loving you is ROM I don't wanna read write. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.416946+00:00 | en | 12 |
12287684-c059-4137-828e-14f2a9a238ee | You are making progress if each mistake is a new one. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.431624+00:00 | en | 12 |
09ec9594-417a-4eaa-a60a-0a691af0f213 | If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.450968+00:00 | en | 29 |
9c344348-031e-443a-9257-b21963ffd8be | If Ruby is not and Perl is the answer, you don't understand the question. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.472357+00:00 | en | 17 |
e2a69737-dc30-4dd5-a051-3106387203db | If loving you is ROM I don't wanna read write. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.497411+00:00 | en | 12 |
5bd309ee-6d2e-4d95-86a7-828d8820155a | Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.514412+00:00 | en | 11 |
15f39ff7-1a7a-47db-8039-7aa846c73632 | There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who were expecting this joke to be in trinary. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.536870+00:00 | en | 31 |
664b93fc-71f6-41ec-a474-a0fa2598a6c7 | Software salesmen and used-car salesmen differ in that the latter know when they are lying. | pyjokes_library | false | 2026-06-25T15:06:56.557958+00:00 | en | 19 |
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