Leeta: Okay, that's twelve spins and not a single dabo so far. The pot is growing and someone's going to be a big winner.
Rom: Today's the day, brother. I'm really going to do it this time.
Quark: You've been saying that for weeks.
Rom: I've been waiting for the right moment. And this is it.
Quark: Now?
Rom: It's perfect. She's about to go on her break, and when she does, she'll come over here to say hi, to me like she always does, and that's when I'll do it.
Quark: Okay, let's hear it.
Rom: I, er, Leeta, would you like, maybe, to one night, soon, to maybe?
Quark: Rom, you're a regular poet.
Rom: I can do better.
Quark: Prove it.
Leeta: Hi, Rom.
Rom: Hello, Leeta. Bye.
Leeta: I must be doing something wrong.
Quark: I don't know, Leeta. Maybe he's just not interested in you.
Leeta: Well, I know he likes me.
Quark: Likes you, yes. But he's an engineer, a problem solver. He needs a woman with a body and brains.
Leeta: I have brains.
Quark: Of course you do, honey. That's why I hired you. Now eat up and then take those brains back to the dabo wheel where the customers can get a good long look at them.
Bashir: Triple twenty! He's back in the zone today.
O'Brien: I never really left it. Just been giving you a chance to get even.
Bashir: Thank you, but I don't need your charity. Another game?
O'Brien: Maybe one. I promised Molly I'd do some coloring with her this afternoon. With all this attention focused on the baby, I don't want her to start feeling that we've forgotten about her.
Bashir: A father's work is never done.
O'Brien: You said it. Still, it's worth it. You should give it a try sometime.
Bashir: Me? No.
O'Brien: Why not? I bet you'd make a great father.
Bashir: I'm not exactly the family type.
Zimmerman: Doctor Bashir, I presume?
Bashir: That's me.
Zimmerman: I'm Louis Zimmerman, Director of Holographic Imaging and Programming at the Jupiter Research Station. And I'm here to make you immortal.
Zimmerman: You're familiar, of course, with the Emergency Medical Holographic Program?
Sisko: I've heard of it. It's a hologram designed to provide assistance during emergencies in Sickbay.
Zimmerman: It does much more than provide assistance.
Bashir: A holographic doctor can literally replace a starship's medical officer during an emergency.
Zimmerman: I'm surprised you don't have one on the station.
Sisko: The station facilities are Cardassian in origin. Most of our equipment is incompatible with Federation technology.
Zimmerman: How unfortunate for you. In any case, the original EMH was designed for short-term use only. But now Starfleet has requested a program designed to operate as full-time doctor.
Sisko: Full time? You're not talking about replacing real doctors?
Zimmerman: No, no, of course not. Why is everyone so worried about holograms taking over the universe?
Bashir: There are many situations where a holo-doctor could be more beneficial than a humanoid. Research outposts, subspace communication stations, long-range exploratory vessels.
Zimmerman: In short, anywhere that life-support or living space is at a premium and where the primary mission does not require the doctor to leave Sickbay.
Sisko: I see. And they want to model this new EMH program after Doctor Bashir.
Zimmerman: Technically, it is a LMH. Long-term Medical Holographic Program. And yes, Starfleet Medical has selected Doctor Bashir to provide the template.
Sisko: Who was the template for the EMH?
Zimmerman: Me. It was my program after all. It only seemed logical to use myself as a model.
Sisko: Of course. This must be quite an honor.
Bashir: Yes, it is quite a feather in my cap, sir.
Zimmerman: It is nothing less than a shot at immortality. The original EMH program will probably still be in use for decades to come. The LMH will undoubtedly last far longer than that. That is, if I can work out certain technical problems. Now, I'll need to remain here for at least three weeks. I'll need quarters, access to your main computer, a technician to installl my equipment, a high-speed data link with my lab.
Sisko: Doctor, my first officer, Major Kira, will see to all your needs. Congratulations, Doctor. I know I speak for everyone on the station when I say we're really very proud of you.
Bashir: Thank you, sir. Thank you.
Zimmerman: Let's go.
Bashir: This is a long questionnaire.
Zimmerman: I pride myself on my attention to detail.
Bashir: Let's see. Compare and contrast your eating habits at age five with those at ages ten, fifteen, twenty, and twenty five?
Zimmerman: It will be necessary for the holo doctor to interact naturally with patients for weeks, possibly even months. The doctor will be expected to share amusing anecdotes, extend sympathy, swap dirty jokes and even have culinary opinions formed by experience.
O'Brien: You mean this program is going to have all of his personal likes and dislikes?
Zimmerman: That is why we bother to choose a human template in the first place.
O'Brien: Wow, think of it, Julian. If this thing works, you'll be able to irritate hundreds of people you've never even met.
Zimmerman: If you two could suspend your oh so amusing banter for the moment, I'd like to begin the optical parameter scans.
Bashir: What do you want me to do?
Zimmerman: Just stand there and look like a doctor. If you can.
Leeta: Dabo!
Zimmerman: We don't have anything like this on Jupiter Station. Or like her.
Bashir: She's beautiful, isn't she?
Zimmerman: Who is she?
Bashir: Her name's Leeta. My ex-girlfriend.
Zimmerman: Who broke it off?
Bashir: She did.
Zimmerman: Oh, I like her already.
Zimmerman: I think I'll have to add her name to my list of interviews.
Bashir: Interviews?
Zimmerman: I'll be conducting in-depth interviews with your friends, colleagues, family members, in order to build a more rounded psychological profile for the LMH.
Bashir: I see. Well, regarding my family members, would you could refrain from
Odo: Excuse me for interrupting, Doctor, Doctor. The Antidean transport wishes to leave the station a day early. Their cargo is still under quarantine. If you could issue a health certificate.
Bashir: Now?
Odo: It would expedite matters.
Bashir: All right. I'll meet you in cargo bay three in ten minutes.
Odo: Thank you, Doctor. Doctor.
Bashir: Well, duty calls. I wonder if you could do a favor and consider not interviewing my parents?
Zimmerman: Why?
Bashir: Well, to be blunt, we're not close, we haven't been for many years, and I would consider it a personal favor if you would er, sort of, leave my parents out of it.
Zimmerman: I see. Well, I certainly understand.
Bashir: Well, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow.
Zimmerman: Note. Contact subject's parents immediately.
Zimmerman: Computer, activate LMH test program one. Does it meet with your approval?
Bashir: Yeah, it looks all right. Except for the eyes. They seem a little dead. They don't have that certain sparkle, that zest for life that greets me in the mirror every morning.
Zimmerman: This is a test run. I can assure you that the final product will be zesty.
Bashir: Does it talk?
Zimmerman: Not yet. First I have to load the LMH with the basic database and software configurations of the original program. Computer, activate the EMH.
Emh: Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
Zimmerman: This is a level three diagnostic.
Emh: I understand.
Zimmerman: Diagnostics look good. Beginning data transferral.
Emh: Data transferral? Am I being replaced?
Zimmerman: You're being supplemented by a new long-term program.
Emh: By him?
Zimmerman: There. Transfer's complete. HOLO-
Bashir: Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
Emh: Oh, that's original. He doesn't even look old enough to be a doctor. HOLO-
Bashir: If you'd like my advice, you should delete this program. Now that I'm here, why would you need an archaic piece of software like him?
Emh: Archaic?
Zimmerman: We can discuss this at another time.
Emh: Listen.
Bashir: He doesn't sound like much me.
Zimmerman: I'm sorry. Too zesty for you?
Bashir: Actually, he sounds more like you.
Zimmerman: As I said, I've loaded the LMH with the basic EMH software package. We'll have to build a new set of algorithms based on your scintillating personality. HOLO-
Bashir: I hope you're more interesting than you seem. I'd hate to be boring.
Zimmerman: There may be no preventing that. But we'll see what his friends have to say.
Zimmerman: What were your initial impressions of Doctor Bashir? Good and bad.
Sisko: Young, eager, ambitious. He was fresh out of medical school, looking forward to his first taste of frontier medicine. Sometimes he let that natural impulse override his sense of decorum.
Zimmerman: You mean he was difficult.
Jake: No. But sometimes he could give you way too much information.
Zimmerman: Could you elaborate on that?
Kira: Sometimes he just didn't know when to shut up.
Zimmerman: Are you implying that he harassed you with unwanted advances?
Dax: No. But he was very persistent.
Zimmerman: I see. Could you be more specific?
Zimmerman: You're not being very helpful.
Worf: I do not like doctors. Any doctors.
Zimmerman: You can rest assured that I will keep anything you say in the strictest confidence.
O'Brien: You're sure about that? I wouldn't want this to get back to Julian.
Zimmerman: You have my word.
O'Brien: Well, the truth is he's an extraordinary person. A real sense of honor and integrity, great sense of humor, warm, caring. You're sure he's not going to read this?
Zimmerman: Positive.
Leeta: So, is that all?
Zimmerman: There is one other thing. Would you have dinner with me this evening?
Voices: Oh, I'm not going to tell you. Well, I think you should know. Sometimes I think I'm the happiest person. Stroll along the Promenade, maybe have a little.
Leeta: You want a real game, try dom-jot. If I ran this place, we'd have three dom-jot tables and two prayko alleys. And I'd make sure the customers had a lot more fun. Quark is a lot of things, but he's not fun. I'm fun.
Zimmerman: I bet you are. You're a fascinating woman, Leeta.
Leeta: For a dabo girl.
Zimmerman: Not at all. You're charming, intelligent
Zimmerman: Witty and extraordinarily beautiful.
Leeta: Thank you.
Rom: Excuse me. I need to talk to you. It's very important.
Leeta: All right. Will you excuse me?
Zimmerman: Of course.
Leeta: What is it, Rom?
Rom: I want to ask you if. I want to. I, oh, I wanted to ask if tomorrow morning would be good time for me to fix your replicator.
Leeta: Oh. Sure. That would be fine.
Rom: Okay. Tomorrow morning then. Enjoy the rest of your evening.
Leeta: Thanks.
Bashir: I'm a little concerned about the amount of argonite that's been seeping into the station's air supply.
Sisko: Seventeen parts per million. That's well within safety margins.
Bashir: Yes. But it's on the rise and I'd like to
Dax: I'm sorry to interrupt, sir, but there are a couple of visitors here looking for Julian, and I thought he might want to see them right away.
Sisko: Well, send them in.
Bashir: Oh, my God.
Amsha: Hello, Jules
Bashir: Er, Captain, allow me to introduce Amsha and Richard Bashir, my parents.
Sisko: I'm Captain Benjamin Sisko. Welcome to Deep Space Nine.
Amsha: Thank you, Captain. It's a pleasure to finally see where Jules works.
Richard: We wanted to come before, but my schedule's been so busy up until now. I'm sure you know what it's like.
Sisko: All too well, I'm afraid.
Dax: What is it you do, Mister Bashir?
Richard: Oh, I've done many things. At the moment, I'm involved in landscape architecture, designing public spaces, parks mostly. I love the idea of working on projects that thousands of people will enjoy long after I'm gone. They're my legacy, my gift to succeeding generations. Aside from Jules here, of course.
Sisko: You must be very proud of your son.
Amsha: Oh, yes.
Richard: He's a very gifted young man. I hope you're putting all his talents to good use, Captain.
Sisko: We try.
Richard: Well, sometimes you have to push him a little. It took quite a while to talk him into taking up medicine, but he did.
Dax: So you're the reason he went to Medical School.
Richard: That's right. He wanted to become
Amsha: Perhaps we should save that until another time, Richard. I'm sure the Captain is a very busy man.
Richard: Oh. Of course. Maybe after our interviews are over.
Bashir: Interviews?
Richard: Yes, with Doctor er, Zimmerman. Didn't he tell you?
Bashir: No, he didn't.
Amsha: He said it was urgent. That the two of you were working together on a very important project and that we had to come here right away.
Bashir: Yes, well, why don't I see if I can find you some accommodation for this evening.
Richard: Yeah.
Sisko: It was a pleasure to meet you both.
Dax: I hope we get a chance to see you again. I can't wait to hear some stories about Julian as a little boy.
Richard: Oh Lord, there are so many. You know, from the time he was this high we knew he was destined for greatness.
Bashir: The Captain, father, is a very busy man.
Richard: We'll talk later.
O'Brien: We're just working out a few bugs.
Bashir: Chief, if you'll excuse us, I'd like a moment or two alone with Doctor Zimmerman.
O'Brien: Of course.
Bashir: You brought my parents to this station against my explicit wishes that you keep them out of this project.
Zimmerman: I'm sorry it upsets you, but their input is
Bashir: You had no right to bring them here.
Zimmerman: I did not bring them here. I simply issued an invitation.
Bashir: You said it was urgent.
Zimmerman: It is urgent, to me. Like it or not, they're an important part of your background and I need to interview them. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a delivery to make.
Zimmerman: Have I caught you at a bad time?
Leeta: It's never a bad time for flowers. Come on in. Could you find a place for those while I change?
Zimmerman: Of course.
Leeta: By the way, if you're trying to impress me, you've succeeded.
Zimmerman: I spoke to some of my colleagues at the Jupiter Station this morning. It seems that the manager of our station cafe has decided to quit.
Leeta: Really.
Zimmerman: They're still looking for a new manager. Someone with experience in both food service and entertainment. Someone like you.
Leeta: Me?
Zimmerman: Yes. I've already taken the liberty of speaking to our station's commanding officer and she's amenable to the idea. The cafe is yours if you want it.
Leeta: My own cafe? Oh. Sorry.
Zimmerman: Not at all.
Zimmerman: It's not very big. Less than half the size of Quark's.
Leeta: Really?
Zimmerman: But here's room for a couple of dom-jot tables.
Leeta: But I've never run a restaurant or any kind of business. I barely even know how to tend bar.
Zimmerman: That puts you one step ahead of our last bartender.
Leeta: But where would I stay? I don't even know anybody there.
Zimmerman: You know me, and I was hoping you would consider staying with me.
Leeta: But Louis, I just met you. I mean, I like you
Zimmerman: You see? You're warming up to me already. Given time, you might begin to feel more. Just as I do. Besides, you said you liked cerebral men, and at the risk of sounding immodest, I have a towering intellect. Come with me, Leeta, please. I promise that you won't regret it. I know I won't.
Leeta: I need to think about that.
Zimmerman: Take all the time you need.
Amsha: Captain Sisko seems like a very nice man, Jules.
Richard: Not like the captain of the transport that brought us here. I've never met a ruder, more abrasive man in my life. I tell you, when I used to run shuttles, I never would have tolerated that kind of behavior toward my passengers.
Bashir: Dad, you're talking to me now. You were a third class steward for all of six months.
Richard: That's right, and I was required to have daily contact with the passengers. And you can bet that if I even looked at them the wrong way, I would've been diskharged on the spot.
Bashir: I thought you were.
Richard: No. I resigned.
Amsha: Are you still doing research, Jules?
Bashir: Yes. Right now I'm working on two studies of prion replication in ganglionic cell clusters.
Richard: You could've done research back on Earth. I told you that five years ago. But you insisted on taking this assignment because you wanted to work in frontier medicine.
Bashir: On DS Nine, I can do both. So, you're doing landscape architecture now.
Amsha: It's all he can talk about. You should see the stacks of drawings in our house. It's like living in a drafting studio.
Richard: Some very important people have expressed interest in my park designs. I have some very good prospects on the horizon.
Bashir: You always had good prospects, and they were always just over that horizon.
Amsha: Maybe you should tell us about the interviews we're doing tomorrow, Jules. What kind of questions will they ask?
Bashir: Well, Doctor Zimmerman, as I understand it, is trying to build a complete psychological profile of me. He's going to be asking you all sorts of questions. Try to keep your answers as brief and to the point as you can. You don't want to give him any openings to probe into any awkward areas.
Richard: I'm sure we can handle it.
Bashir: Try not to take this too lightly. He's going to be asking detailed questions about my childhood and if you're not careful
Richard: You don't trust us?
Amsha: He didn't say that, Richard.
Richard: No, but that's what he meant, isn't it? You think we're going to slip up, say the wrong thing, get us all in trouble.
Bashir: Look, I've got a lot at stake here. My whole career could be destroyed if Doctor Zimmerman gets wind of our little secret.
Richard: You've got a lot at stake? Well what about us? We could go to prison, Jules. Have you ever thought about that?
Bashir: Of course I've thought about that! That's why I want you to take this seriously.
Richard: Oh, so now we're not taking it seriously. We're not as bright as he is. We don't have your gifted intellect so we can't see the perfectly obvious.
Bashir: This is exactly why I haven't been home in three years.
Amsha: Jules, please.
Richard: No, let him go. He can barely stand to be in the same room with us!
Leeta: I haven't made up my mind yet. I mean, this could be a big opportunity, but that's no reason to rush into anything. What do you think I should do?
Rom: I, I, I don't know.
Leeta: If I had a reason to stay, I'd stay. Do I have a reason to stay?
Rom: I, I don't know.
Leeta: Well, I guess I'd better take the job.
Rom: Great.
Leeta: Is that all you can say?
Rom: I, I, I
Leeta: You don't know. Thanks. Rom. You've been a big help.
Rom: You're welcome.
Bashir: Is there something I can do for you?
Amsha: Your father has something he wants to say. Richard?
Richard: It's a stressful time for all of us and maybe I said some things I shouldn't have.
Amsha: What he's trying to say is, we would never do anything to jeopardize your career.
Richard: And just so there's no misunderstanding, I give you my word that at no time in our interview with Doctor Zimmerman will we ever mention or even hint at the fact that you were genetically enhanced as a child.
Amsha: Jules, you can trust us. Your father and I have kept the secret of your DNA resequencing for almost twenty five years and we're not going to let it out now.
Richard: But I would just add that, despite what the authorities would like us to believe, genetic engineering is nothing to be ashamed of. You're not any less human than anyone else. In fact, you're a little more.
Amsha: We didn't come here to start another fight. Let's just try to get through this, all right?
Bashir: All right.
Bashir: Who were those people?
Bashir: I can't believe you set them up like that!
O'Brien: We didn't set them up. They just happened to walk in when the program was running. Zimmerman thought it would be a idea to test the program's ability to cope with an unexpected situation.
Bashir: And you let it go on? You let them stand there and make fools of themselves while the two of you sat in the back room and laughed?
O'Brien: Look, I'm sorry about this. I wish it had never happened, but it has and now we've got a problem.
Bashir: I don't want to talk about it.
O'Brien: Julian, Zimmerman is going to file a report saying that Doctor Bashir is unsuitable for computer modeling because of his suspected genetically enhanced background. Do you know what's going to happen when that report gets back to Starfleet Medical?
Bashir: There's going to be a formal investigation which will lead to my eventual dismissal from the service.
O'Brien: Then it's true? You're
Bashir: The word you're looking for is unnatural, meaning not from nature. Freak or monster would also be acceptable. I was six. Small for my age, a bit awkward physically, not very bright. In the first grade, while the other children were learning how to read and write and use the computer, I was still trying to tell a dog from a cat, a tree from a house. I didn't really understand what was happening. I knew that I wasn't doing as well as my classmates. There were so many concepts that they took for granted that I couldn't begin to master and I didn't know why. All I knew was that I was a great disappointment to my parents. I don't remember when they made the decision, but just before my seventh birthday we left Earth for Adigeon Prime. At first, I remember being really excited at seeing all the aliens in the hospital. Then they gave me a room and began the treatments, and my entire world began to change.
O'Brien: What were the treatments? Some kind of DNA recoding?
Bashir: The technical term is 'accelerated critical neural pathway formation.' Over the course of the next two months, my genetic structure was manipulated to accelerate the growth of neuronal networks in my cerebral cortex, and a whole new Julian Bashir was born.
O'Brien: In what way did they change you?
Bashir: Well, my mental abilities were the top priority, of course. My IQ jumped five points a day for over two weeks. Followed by improvements in my hand-eye coordination, stamina, vision, reflexes, weight, height. In the end, everything but my name was altered in some way. When we returned to Earth, we even moved to a different city, I was enrollled in a new school using falsified records my parents obtained somewhere. Instead of being the slowest learner, I was the star pupil.
O'Brien: And no one ever suspected?
Bashir: Oh, there's no stigma attached to success, Chief. After the treatments, I never looked back. But the truth is I'm a fraud.
O'Brien: You're not a fraud. I don't care what enhancements your parents may have had done. Genetic recoding can't give you ambition, or a personality, or compassion or any of the things that make a person truly human.
Bashir: Starfleet Medical won't see it that way. DNA resequencing for any reason other than repairing serious birth defects is illegal. Any genetically enhanced human being is barred from serving in Starfleet or practicing medicine.
O'Brien: I don't there's been a case dealing with any of this in a hundred years. You can't be sure how they'll react.
Bashir: Oh, I am sure. Once the truth comes out I'll be cashiered from the service. It's that simple.
O'Brien: There must be something we can do. We can't just give up.
Bashir: There is something I can do. Resign before Doctor Zimmerman files his report.
O'Brien: Oh, Julian.
Bashir: It's over, Miles. I always knew this could happen. Now it has. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to be alone.
Rom: I should have told her how I felt.
Quark: Thank the Nagus that you didn't. Remember what happened with Nog's mother? Yeah, don't want to think about her, do you. Let me refresh your memory. You signed a standard five year marriage contract with Prinadora's father because you wanted to have a child. A simple everyday business deal. But then you fell in love with your wife and wanted to extend the contract. And you were so in love that you never bothered to read the extension before signing it. So in the end, her father swindled you out of all your money. Prinadora left you for a richer man and you got stuck with Nog. Hooray for romance.
Rom: Leeta is not Prinadora.
Quark: She's a female, Rom. And the one constant in the universe is, females are trouble. Look, if you're lonely I've got a new holosuite program. Vulcan Love Slave part two, The Revenge. Give it a try. After a couple of hours you'll forget all about Leeta.
Richard: We're not going to just take this lying down, that's for sure. I'll arrange for legal counsel. We're going to fight this all the way to the Federation Supreme Court.
Bashir: We can't fight this.
Richard: You'd better change that attitude right now if you want to hang on to your career.
Amsha: Jules, listen to your father. He's trying to help you.
Bashir: Neither of you is listening to me. I don't want to drag this through the courts.
Richard: We're a little beyond worrying about your wants, Jules. We have a serious problem here. We have to stop the whining and concentrate on coming up with a new plan.
Bashir: A new plan. Yes, let's come up with a new plan. That's the way we do things in this family, isn't it? We don't face our problems, we come up with new plans. Don't like your job? Well move along to the next one. Don't like the law? Well, find a way to get around it. But whatever you do, do not accept responsibility.
Richard: All those gifts, all those accomplishments, and you still want to behave like a spoiled child. Well you'd better grow up right now or you're going to lose everything!
Bashir: You mean you're going to lose everything. You're going to lose your only real accomplishment in this life. Me. You said before, I'm your legacy, your proud gift to the world. Well, father, your gift is about to be revealed as a fraud, just like you.
Richard: I'm still your father, Jules, and I will not have you talk to me like that.
Bashir: No, you used to be my father. Now, you're my architect. The man who designed a better son to replace the defective one he was given. Well, your design has a built-in flaw. It's illegal.
Richard: You're so smart. You know so much that you can stand there and judge us. But you're still not smart enough to see that we saved you from a lifetime of remedial education and underachievement!
Bashir: You don't know that. You didn't give me a chance.
Richard: You were falling behind.
Bashir: I was six years old. You decided I was a failure in the first grade.
Richard: You don't understand, Jules. You never did.
Bashir: No, you don't understand. I stopped calling myself Jules when I was fifteen and I'd found out what you'd done to me. I'm Julian.
Richard: What difference does that make?
Bashir: It makes every difference, because I'm different! Can't you see that? Jules Bashir died in that hospital because you couldn't live with the shame of having a son who didn't measure up!
Amsha: That's not true! We were never ashamed of you. Never.
Bashir: I'm sorry, mother, but the truth is
Amsha: You don't know. You've never had a child. You don't know what it's like to watch your son. To watch him fall a little further behind every day. You know he's trying, but something's holding him back. You don't know what it's like to stay up every night worrying that maybe it's your fault. Maybe you did something wrong during the pregnancy, maybe you weren't careful enough, or maybe there's something wrong with you. Maybe you passed on a genetic defect without even knowing it.
Richard: Amsha
Amsha: No, this is important. You can condemn us for what we did. You can say it's illegal or immoral or whatever you want to say, but you have to understand that we didn't do it because we were ashamed, but because you were our son and we loved you.
Amsha: What do you want us to do?
Bashir: Nothing. I'm going to visit Captain Sisko in the morning to explain the situation to him and tender my Starfleet resignation.
Amsha: Are you certain this is what you want?
Bashir: Yes. I just want to leave the station quietly.
Sisko: Come in, Doctor. We were just talking about you. Admiral, allow me to introduce Doctor Julian Bashir. Doctor, this is Rear Admiral Bennett, Judge Advocate General.
Bashir: Admiral.
Bennett: Doctor.
Bashir: May I ask what's going on?
Sisko: Your parents came to me this morning. They explained the situation about your genetic background. I contacted Admiral Bennett a short time ago.
Bennett: We've just reached an agreement that will allow you to retain both your commission and your medical practice.
Richard: I'm going to prison.
Bashir: What?
Richard: Two years. It's a minimum security penal colony in New Zealand.
Bashir: You can't do this.
Bennett: It was your father's suggestion, Doctor. He pleads guilty to illegal genetic engineering and in exchange you stay in the service.
Bashir: Well, I want no part of it. I'm not going to just stand by while my father
Richard: Jules. Julian. Listen to me. This is my decision. I'm the one who took you to Adigeon Prime. I'm the one who should take responsibility for it.
Amsha: Let him do this, Julian.
Bashir: Two years? Isn't that a bit harsh?
Bennett: I don't think so. Two hundred years ago we tried to improve the species through DNA resequencing, and what did we get for our trouble? The Eugenics Wars. For every Julian Bashir that can be created, there's a Khan Singh waiting in the wings. A superhuman whose ambition and thirst for power have been enhanced along with his intellect. The law against genetic engineering provides a firewall against such men and it's my job to keep that firewall intact. I've made my offer. Do you accept?
Richard: Yes.
Bennett: Then report to my office at Starfleet Headquarters once you arrive on Earth.
Sisko: Take your time.
Amsha: Goodbye, Julian.
Bashir: Goodbye, Mother.
Richard: I guess I'll see you in a couple of years.
Bashir: I'm sure they have visiting hours at your facility. Maybe I could
Richard: That would be most welcome.
Bashir: Father. Thank you.
Richard: Here, just think. I may usher in a new renaissance in landscape architecture. I'll certainly have time to work on my designs.
Zimmerman: Do you hear that?
Leeta: What is that?
Zimmerman: It's getting closer.
Rom: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! Wait.
Zimmerman: We heard you the first time.
Rom: Leeta, don't go.
Leeta: Why not?
Rom: Because I love you, and I want you to stay.
Leeta: I love you too, Rom. Oh. Doctor, I'm sorry.
Zimmerman: No, don't be. True love should always win. I'm happy for you. Really.
Leeta: You're a sweet, wonderful, and brilliant man. There's someone out there for you, Doctor. I know it.
Zimmerman: I don't think so. Perhaps I'm better suited to a life of solitary research.
Zimmerman: and dedication to my chosen field of study. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Goodbye.
Leeta: Bye.
Zimmerman: Excuse me are you familiar with the ancient text known as the Kama Sutra? You remind me of an etching
Crowd: Dabo!
Bashir: Not my day.
O'Brien: Not your week.
Bashir: You know what, Chief? I never got a chance to thank you for what you said when
O'Brien: Uh-uh. None of that. Especially not in the middle of a game. Ooo, yes!
Bashir: Looks like it's your game again.
O'Brien: What's that, five in a row?
Bashir: At least.
O'Brien: Wait a minute. You haven't been letting me win, have you?
Bashir: What makes you think that?
O'Brien: You said your hand-eye coordination had been genetically enhanced.
Bashir: Well, maybe I have been letting you win a little bit.
O'Brien: I don't believe it. I don't need you to patronize me. I can play at your level.
Bashir: I never said you couldn't.
O'Brien: Well play then. Really play.
O'Brien: All right. From now on you play from over here. I play from up here. And if that doesn't work, we'll try a blindfold.


Tauvid: Computer, time.
Computer: Eighteen twenty one hours.
Tauvid: Can I help you?
Traidy: I think so.
Tauvid: What are you doing?
Traidy: Where is it?
Tauvid: Where is what? I don't even know what you're looking for.
Traidy: Yes, you do. Well?
Sorm: It's not here.
Traidy: That's not good. Is it possible we have the wrong man?
Sorm: It's starting to look that way.
Traidy: This is very embarrassing. Now listen to me. We know why you're here, we know who you came to meet, and we know what you were going to give her. So for the last time, where is it?
Tauvid: All right, I'll take you to it.
Traidy: You see? It was him all along.
Sorm: I thought it was on stun.
Traidy: Look what you did to the carpet.
Sorm: What do we do now? We don't have time to search the whole station.
Traidy: We wait for the woman. She might know where he hid it
Odo: You wanted to see us?
Dax: Is that the new holosuite program?
Bashir: Queen's Gambit. It came in this morning.
O'Brien: Finally. That friend of yours promised to send it two months ago.
Bashir: According to Felix, it's worth the wait. He said it's the most elaborate program he's ever designed.
Dax: What parts do we get to play?
Bashir: You get to play Lady Wantsomore, a beautiful socialite who's brainwashed to assassinate the Queen of England.
Dax: Ooo, somebody stop me.
O'Brien: What about me?
Bashir: Odo plays Nigel Dunlop, a former agent who comes out of retirement to help me foil this diabolical plot.
Dax: Perfect.
Bashir: I play
O'Brien: Julian, we know who you play. What about me?
Bashir: You're Falcon, of course.
O'Brien: Falcon? Again? I'm tired of being the bad guy.
Dax: But you do it so well.
Bashir: So, is everybody all right for Saturday?
Dax: Fine.
O'Brien: No problem.
Bashir: Odo?
Odo: What do you want me to do again?
Dax: Save the Queen.
Bashir: Not only that, you get to drive around in fancy automobiles, and go to posh parties and steal her away from Falcon.
O'Brien: He steals my girl?
Odo: Er, maybe you'd better get another Nigel Dunlop.
Bashir: Are you kidding? Look at her.
Odo: I'm, I'm busy on Saturday.
Dax: We'll do it when you're not busy.
Odo: I don't think so. I'm sorry. I never should have agreed to be a part of this in the first place. Sorry.
Bashir: Well, looks like we'll have to find someone else to play Odo's part.
O'Brien: I'll do it.
Arissa: I've already told you, I don't want to play dabo, I don't want a holosuite, and I don't want anything to eat.
Quark: Can I interest you in my collection of Risean tapestries?
Odo: Why don't you leave her alone, Quark. Can't you see she's not interested?
Quark: How do I know she's not interested unless I ask?
Arissa: Maybe you should spend less time bothering your customers, and more time keeping an eye on your business.
Quark: Don't worry, I can keep my eyes on more than one thing at a time.
Arissa: Really? What about him?
Arissa: He's got a graviton emitter hidden in his ring. He's manipulating the table for his friend over there.
Crowd: Dabo!
Odo: You're very observant.
Arissa: Thanks.
Odo: Are you waiting for someone?
Arissa: You. Where have you been all my life?
Odo: Pardon me?
Arissa: Isn't that what you were hoping I'd say?
Odo: It's just that you keep glancing at the door.
Arissa: I'm waiting for someone.
Odo: That's all I meant.
Arissa: Sorry. I thought you had other things on your mind. Must be those bedroom eyes of yours.
Odo: Bedroom eyes?
Arissa: You probably get that all the time.
Odo: Not really. If anyone bothers you again, let me know. I'm Security Chief Odo. My office is just across the Promenade.
Arissa: I'll be all right.
Odo: Well, I have to go. To work. In my office.
Arissa: Across the Promenade.
Odo: Exactly.
Kira: Look at this. I was checking the contents of one of those crates. A tentacle grabbed my hand.
Odo: Gagh. The Klingons have been getting regular shipments of it since the day they were posted here.
Kira: I can't believe they eat that stuff.
Kira: What are you doing?
Odo: Nothing.
Kira: What are you looking at?
Odo: Well, I'm. Actually I'm. I'm never mind.
Kira: What?
Odo: It's embarrassing.
Kira: Would you just tell me.
Odo: Last night, a woman in Quark's told me I have bedroom eyes. I'm trying to see if it's true.
Kira: Tell me about this woman.
Odo: She thought I was trying to seduce her. It was all just a misunderstanding.
Kira: If you say so. You going to see her again?
Odo: I have no idea. Why?
Kira: Obviously she's very perceptive.
Odo: Meaning what?
Kira: Meaning you should see her again.
Arissa: Hello again.
Odo: What's this all about?
Odo: You tried to break into the station computer. Why?
Arissa: My friend never showed up last night. I wanted to check the passenger manifests to find out if he came aboard.
Odo: Why didn't you come to me? I could have checked the manifests for you.
Arissa: When you grow up on Finnea Prime, you learn not to trust policemen.
Odo: Dataport bothering you?
Arissa: The security protocols protecting your computer generated some nasty feedback.
Odo: I know. I designed them that way.
Arissa: Nice job. I couldn't stay interfaced long enough to break past the encryption lockouts.
Odo: That was the idea. Tell me, Arissa, what's a nice woman like you doing with a dataport?
Arissa: They're not illegal.
Odo: They ought to be. People tend to use them to access information other people don't want them to access.
Arissa: I've heard that.
Odo: This Idanian you were waiting for in Quark's, Tauvid Rem. What were you meeting him about?
Arissa: A personal matter.
Odo: Well, I suppose I could just go to his quarters and ask him.
Arissa: I'd rather you didn't. It's a delicate situation.
Odo: I'm listening.
Arissa: Tauvid's well known for finding people. People who don't necessarily want to be found. He's helping me locate my daughter. I gave her up when she was born fifteen years ago.
Odo: I see.
Arissa: He told me he had information about her. That's all I know. I've been looking for her a long time. Please, let me talk to him.
Odo: All right. I'll take you to him. We'll sort the rest out later.
Arissa: Thank you.
Arissa: Maybe he's not in.
Odo: According to the access log, he's inside.
Odo: It's Security. Hello?
Arissa: He's not here.
Odo: Oh, yes he is. What's left of him.
Odo: The residue we found contains Idanian DNA. I think it's safe to assume it came from Tauvid Rem. Do you have any idea why someone would want to kill him?
Arissa: No, but considering what he does for a living, he probably had dealings with all sorts of marginal characters. Maybe it was a robbery.
Odo: What makes you say that?
Arissa: I didn't see any personal belongings in his quarters. Did your deputies find anything?
Odo: No.
Arissa: Well, whatever happened, I doubt it had anything to do with me or my daughter.
Odo: That depends. It's possible that someone doesn't want you to find your daughter.
Arissa: Tauvid didn't give me any indication of that when we spoke.
Odo: When was that?
Arissa: About three days ago. I can't believe this. I was so close to finding her and now I'm going to have to start all over again. That's if you'll let me.
Odo: If?
Arissa: In case you'd forgotten, I'm facing charges for trying to break into your computer.
Odo: Considering you weren't able to access any secured information, I've decided to drop those charges.
Arissa: I appreciate that very much.
Odo: You're free to go.
Arissa: Thank you. You're a very kind man.
Odo: I hope you find your daughter.
Quark: Morn! We're closed.
Quark: Go home.
Odo: I'm afraid the Assay Office is closed for the evening. If you want to secure any valuables, you'll have to come back in the morning.
Arissa: Thanks, I'll do that. I didn't realize I tripped an alarm.
Odo: You didn't. You're good.
Arissa: I still got caught.
Odo: I've been following you.
Arissa: I didn't know.
Odo: I'm good, too. So, did you find anything in Tauvid's locker?
Arissa: Would you believe me if I said no?
Odo: Actually, I'd have you strip-searched.
Arissa: That might be fun, but in the interest of saving time.
Odo: I've never seen a data crystal quite like this. It looks like it has a phase inverter embedded inside it. It's not going to be easy to decode. Given that all it contains is information about a missing girl, Tauvid went to great lengths to secure it.
Arissa: You know how Idanians are. They're a secretive race.
Odo: You realize it would be a simple matter for me to have a Doctor examine you to determine if you've ever been pregnant.
Arissa: You keep threatening to have me stripped down and examined. I'm trying not to read too much into that.
Odo: You don't have a daughter, do you?
Arissa: No.
Odo: That's probably the first true statement I've heard you make.
Arissa: Not quite. I meant what I said about your eyes.
Odo: What's on the crystal?
Arissa: I don't know, but I need to find out.
Odo: Why?
Arissa: Because if I don't, I'm dead.
Odo: Maybe you'd better start at the beginning.
Arissa: I work for a man named Draim. I see you've heard of him.
Odo: He's with the Orion Syndicate. If I'm not mistaken, he specializes in blackmail and extortion. Where do you fit in with his organization?
Arissa: I access computer systems and steal information for him, government data, business plans, whatever he asks for.
Odo: I hope you're well paid. It's a dangerous line of work. Trigger the wrong security protocol, you could end up with permanent brain damage.
Arissa: I think about that from time to time, but there's not much I can do about it. You don't quit the Orion Syndicate unless they say you can.
Odo: Do you want to quit?
Arissa: That's why I came to meet Tauvid.
Odo: Who was he?
Arissa: I don't know.
Odo: Then why did you come meet him?
Arissa: He told me he had information. Information I could use to break away from Draim, free and clear.
Odo: What made you believe that he was telling the truth?
Arissa: I don't know. I just did. I'm not even sure how he knew I wanted to get out.
Odo: Did he tell you what this information was?
Arissa: No. But for some reason I decided to trust him. I know this sounds insane. I guess I was desperate.
Odo: Did you tell anyone you were coming here?
Arissa: No, but Draim must have monitored my communications. How else could he have gotten his people here before I arrived.
Odo: So you think Draim had Tauvid killed to stop you from getting this crystal?
Arissa: And whoever he hired is probably still on the station. You can be sure that Draim wants to know what's on that crystal as much as I do.
Odo: What are you smiling about?
Arissa: Oh, I'm just picturing myself trying to explain all this to the authorities back on Finnea. Not that they'll listen. They'll just send me to prison.
Odo: I'm not turning this over to the Finneans.
Arissa: You're not?
Odo: I'm placing you in protective custody while I have someone try to access the crystal. In the meantime, I want you to have a look at security recordings made at the airlocks. Draim was probably careful not to send anyone you'd recognize, but you never know.
Arissa: Why are you doing this?
Odo: Doing what?
Arissa: Helping me.
Odo: Why not?
Arissa: You mean you're just doing it out of the kindness of your heart?
Odo: I don't have a heart.
Arissa: You could've fooled me.
Sorm: What'd you get?
Traidy: It's called hasperat.
Sorm: Where is she?
Traidy: She's with that changeling security chief.
Sorm: Spicy.
Traidy: They have the crystal. We've got to make sure she doesn't access it.
Sorm: She's so pretty. I was hoping we wouldn't have to kill her.
Traidy: You'll get over it.
Arissa: Nice room.
Odo: Don't get too used to it. You're not staying here. Odo to Security, begin transport.
Odo: There. Now, if anyone was watching, they'll think you're still in the other quarters.
Arissa: Good trick. I hope it works. Interesting furniture.
Odo: I use these things to practice shape-shifting.
Arissa: These are your quarters?
Odo: I thought this would be the last place anyone would look for you. There's a bed in the other room. I was planning to stay out here so I could keep an eye on you, if that's all right.
Arissa: I could use the company.
Odo: I have two deputies stationed outside in the corridor, posing as a maintenance crew doing repairs.
Arissa: And where are you going to sleep?
Odo: I don't need a bed. I regenerate by reverting to a gelatinous state.
Arissa: Sounds relaxing.
Odo: It is, actually.
Arissa: I'm so tired I wouldn't mind being in a gelatinous state myself.
Odo: I understand you haven't been able to identify anyone from the security recordings.
Arissa: No.
Odo: I haven't had much luck identifying Tauvid either. It's not his real name. He took three different transports to get to the station, used a different identity each time. I've transmitted a picture of him to the Idanian authorities. I'm not sure we'll get a reply. As you said before, they're a very secretive race.
Arissa: What about the crystal?
Odo: Dax and Chief O'Brien are still trying to get past the encryption lockouts.
Arissa: I could try to interface with it.
Odo: That's not a good idea. The first time they attempted to access it, the feedback shorted out the computer. I'd hate to see what that would do to your dataport.
Arissa: I can't believe what I got myself into. Walking out on Draim to meet someone I don't even know? I must have been out of my mind.
Odo: You said you were desperate.
Arissa: Why do you think I got involved with Draim in the first place?
Odo: I know life on Finnea isn't easy, but you must have had other options.
Arissa: Have you ever been there?
Odo: No.
Arissa: It's not like a Federation world where everything is handed to you. You know how I ended up with this? I was a netgirl. I told myself I wasn't selling my body since there was no actual contact. But I was. I let men into my mind for money. Draim was one of them. That's how we first met. Before I knew it, I was working for him. He paid me more than I'd ever seen before. I was so far removed from the consequences of what I was doing, it was easy to pretend that I wasn't hurting anyone. I'd hear things now and then. Some businessman Draim had me investigate would disappear. I tried to convince myself it had nothing to do with me. But after while I couldn't pretend anymore. I wanted out. I guess I'm finally going to get my wish. Only problem is, I'll be dead. I don't want to cry. The dead don't cry.
Odo: Arissa, look at me. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. You have to trust me.
Arissa: I do trust you. But you can't protect me forever. Sooner or later, Draim will get to me. I've got to find out what's on that crystal.
Odo: I don't think you can count on whatever's on that crystal to get you out of this.
Arissa: If that's true, then I don't have a chance.
Odo: Yes, you do. If you testified against Draim, you could put him in prison for the rest of his life. You could get immunity for any past crimes you may have committed, start a new life.
Arissa: Testify against Draim? I would never make it to the witness stand.
Odo: I will take personal responsibility for your safety. I don't care how long it takes. If I have to ask for a leave of absence, I will.
Arissa: You'd do that for me? Why?
Odo: I've done things in my life I'm not proud of, too. You worked for Draim, I worked for the Cardassians. I never had the courage to walk away. You did. I admire that.
Arissa: Wait a minute. You're going to have to give me a minute to get used to this. I've never been admired for anything other than the way I look.
Odo: Most people can't see past the surface, especially when what they see is so beautiful. I'm, I'm sorry, I merely meant
Arissa: Don't apologize.
Odo: Well, I'm going to see if they've made any progress decoding the crystal. Make yourself comfortable. I'll check in on you later.
Arissa: I'm not going anywhere.
Bashir: Let me help you with that. Extraordinary. You just jumped out of an airplane at twenty thousand feet, and yet there's not a hair on your head out of place.
Bashir: Odo.
Odo: I'm sorry to interrupt. I need to talk to you. Alone.
Bashir: Driver, stop the car. We'll just be a minute.
Odo: Isn't that the woman I was supposed to steal away from Falcon?
Bashir: Well, yes, but since you didn't show up
Odo: You swept her off her feet.
Bashir: Sort of.
Odo: Tell me, how did you know she was interested?
Bashir: Well it's that kind of program. What is this all about, Odo? You didn't come here to talk about women, did you? Ah. This is about bedroom eyes, isn't it?
Odo: Who told you about her? Kira?
Bashir: No.
Odo: Dax.
Bashir: Actually it was Miles. If people are talking, it's only because they care. You put on a good front, but anyone who really knows you can tell that you're lonely. If you're interested in this woman, you have to let her know.
Odo: I can't.
Bashir: Why not?
Odo: What if I? What if she?
Bashir: Rejects you? She might. But you can't go through life trying to avoid getting a broken heart. If you do, it'll break from loneliness anyway. So you might as well take a chance. If you don't, she'll move on and you'll never know what you might have had. And living with that is worse than having a broken heart, believe me.
Bashir: We're nearly finished, darling.
O'Brien: Car trouble, Mister Bashir? Hi, Odo.
Odo: I should go. Thank you, Doctor.
Bashir: Odo. This isn't fair, Chief. Odo and I were talking.
O'Brien: Didn't anyone ever tell you, you shouldn't stop for hitchhikers.
Arissa: Hello.
Odo: Hello. I didn't expect to find you awake.
Arissa: I couldn't sleep.
Odo: If the bed isn't comfortable, I
Arissa: The bed is fine. I guess you have no news for me.
Odo: Chief O'Brien is going to run a quantum scan on the crystal in the morning.
Arissa: I'd like to be there. I might be able to help.
Odo: I'll arrange it.
Arissa: I'm not in your way, am I?
Odo: No. No, not at all. I, er, I usually read for an hour or two.
Arissa: What are you reading?
Odo: It's a detective novel.
Arissa: Have you figured out who did it yet?
Odo: By the third page.
Arissa: Well, I should let you get back to your book.
Odo: I don't really feel like reading. Perhaps we could talk for a while?
Arissa: What do you want to talk about?
Arissa: Tell me more.
Arissa: I could swear that when we first met, your nose had a little curve right here.
Odo: I tend to look a little different every day
Arissa: But you always manage to make these the same.
Odo: I pay special attention to my scowl. An air of stern suspicion is very important in my line of work.
Arissa: What? Why are you looking at me that way?
Odo: I'm just trying to figure something out.
Arissa: Tell me. Maybe I can help.
Odo: You're the first woman I've ever been close with. I've never been able to let down my guard. I was just wondering what makes you different.
Arissa: Wait a minute. Have you never been with anyone else before?
Odo: Not with a humanoid. Once, on my homeworld, I had an experience that you might consider sexual.
Arissa: But you've never been with a woman before?
Odo: Could you tell?
Arissa: No.
Odo: Good. I don't ever want to leave this room. Can we stay here forever?
Arissa: I wish we could.
Odo: Arissa? Everything is going to work out.
Arissa: I want to believe that, but I know what the Orion Syndicate does to people who turn against them. I don't want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. Let's just be together.
Odo: All right.
Arissa: Tell me more about this encounter you had on your homeworld.
Odo: It was with another changeling. Our bodies became intermingled.
Arissa: Sounds nice. Too bad I'm not a changeling.
Odo: We shouldn't let that stop us.
Dax: She spent the night in his quarters.
Kira: He had her under protective custody.
Dax: Come on, Nerys. He could have put her somewhere else.
Kira: You know how Odo is. He likes to be thorough.
Dax: It was more than that.
Worf: Commander.
Kira: What makes you say that?
Dax: Instinct.
Worf: Jadzia.
Dax: What?
Worf: You asked to be told when the sensor array became available.
Dax: Thank you. Odo and a woman. It was bound to happen sooner or later, right?
Kira: I suppose.
Worf: You can begin your experiment at any time.
Dax: I'm talking to Kira.
Worf: You are not talking, you are gossiping. And besides, Odo is capable of taking care of himself.
Dax: Don't shout across the room. If you want to gossip with us, then come down here.
Sisko: Where's Odo? He asked me to arrange a conference with Starfleet Intelligence at oh eight hundred.
Dax: I guess he's running late.
Sisko: He's never late.
Dax: He never spent the night with a woman before.
Sisko: A woman? That's nice. Isn't it?
Worf: Constable.
Odo: Good morning.
Sisko: Starfleet Intelligence is ready when you are.
Dax: Did you see the look on Odo's face? I'm telling you, something happened.
Traidy: I talked to Draim. The woman asked to make a deal. She gives us the crystal, Draim lets her go.
Sorm: So we don't have to kill her.
Traidy: Don't be stupid. As soon as we've got the crystal, she dies.
Sorm: Oh. Makes sense.
Odo: You can release the Talarian as soon as he's sober, but tell him to stay away from raktajino. It obviously doesn't agree with him. I'll be in science lab four.
Odo: Can I help you?
Idanian: You're Security Chief Odo?
Odo: Yes.
Idanian: I'm here about the communication you sent to the Idanian government.
Odo: Go on.
Idanian: Where's Arissa? Is she safe?
Odo: You know her?
Idanian: Better than she knows herself.
Odo: What does that mean?
Idanian: She's not who she seems to be. She's an intelligence agent with my government. She was sent to infiltrate Draim's organization.
Odo: That's impossible. She would have told me.
Idanian: She doesn't know.
Odo: I don't understand.
Idanian: We gave her a new identity before we sent her in. All her previous memories were removed and stored on the datacrystal. If you take me to her, I'll explain the rest.
Odo: Chief, are you all right?
Idanian: The datacrystal, where is it?
Odo: Forget about the crystal. We have to find Arissa.
Idanian: That crystal is Arissa.
O'Brien: She took the crystal. I don't know where she went.
Idanian: It generates a distinctive signal. We might be able to track it.
Arissa: Is anyone here?
Traidy: Just me.
Odo: What's wrong?
Idanian: I've lost it. The crystal's quantum signature starts to fade after a few minutes.
Traidy: Do you have it?
Arissa: Maybe.
Traidy: I thought we had a deal. Your life for the crystal.
Arissa: I just want to make sure that you live up to your end.
Traidy: Your turn.
Arissa: Do you really think I'd be stupid enough to come here with a weapon?
Traidy: Indulge me.
Traidy: Very smart.
Traidy: Do you have any idea what's on this?
Arissa: No. You're going to have to figure that out for yourself.
Traidy: Oh, don't go yet. You haven't met my associate.
Arissa: How are you?
Sorm: Fine, thank you.
Arissa: Draim and I had a deal.
Traidy: He was in a very emotional state when he agreed to it. The truth is, you really hurt his feelings when you left.
Sorm: He liked you. Maybe you should close your eyes.
Traidy: You were supposed to secure the doors!
Sorm: I did.
Idanian: Don't move.
Odo: Are you all right?
Arissa: Yes. I just wish I knew what this is all about.
Bashir: The memory transfer will take a few minutes.
Sisko: How long was she undercover?
Idanian: She volunteered for the operation two years ago. After we altered her memories, we placed her on Finnea. She woke up the next morning believing she was a different person.
Sisko: With no memory of her former life as an intelligence agent?
Idanian: That was crucial to the plan. Draim employs telepaths to scan everyone who works for him. It was the only way to get past them. We left her in place long enough to become a trusted member of Draim's organization. When we were ready to recall her, we had Tauvid make contact. We'd imprinted a trace memory designed to make her feel she could trust him. That way, she'd agree to meet. With what she knows about Draim, we're going to be able to cripple his entire organization. As soon as she's debriefed, we plan to issue the indictments.
Odo: You make it sound as if it all went according to plan. She was nearly killed.
Idanian: She knew the risks when she volunteered. We did everything we could to minimize them. Every stage of this operation was meticulously planned.
Odo: Including what just happened in the cargo bay?
Sisko: Why didn't you tell us what was going on when you found out Tauvid had been killed?
Idanian: If Draim's people had monitored the transmission, it would have compromised the entire operation. We couldn't risk it. All that matters is that she's safe and that Draim is going to prison for a long time.
Bashir: The transfer's complete. I'm going to take her to surgery.
Odo: Yes.
Odo: Arissa? That's not even your name, is it?
Arissa: There's something you need to know. I'm married. I have a husband.
Odo: I see.
Arissa: I'm so sorry.
Odo: Don't be. You didn't know. It's not your fault. I fell in love with a woman who never really existed.
Arissa: She did exist. She was real. And she loved you. In a way, she still does.
Odo: Will I ever see you again?
Arissa: I don't know. I'll never forget you, Odo. Never.


Dax: I risk eight strips, with a purchase at six and a sale of ten.
Dax: Quark, it's your move.
Quark: Just a moment. I can't believe it.
Dax: You beg me to play tongo with you, and then you don't pay attention to the game.
Quark: I'll be right there.
Dax: Let me put it another way. If you don't finish this hand, I'm going to call it a night.
Quark: Okay, okay! Who'd have dreamed they'd strike feldomite on Parsion Three? The Sepian Commodities Exchange is in chaos. Everybody's selling, prices falling. Evade.
Dax: Are you sure?
Quark: You heard me, evade!
Dax: Okay. Confront. You owe me fifteen strips of latinum.
Quark: Take it. That's all I've got left. My antimonium options, my quadrotriticale futures, my powdered newt supplements all wiped out. That's it, I'm finished.
Dax: It can't be as bad as all that.
Quark: It can and it is. I'm up to my lobes in debt. I put the bar up as collateral to three different brokers. The loans are due in a week. If I don't come up with the latinum there'll be nothing left of me but a greasy spot on the Promenade.
Quark: Here? Now? Tell him I'm gone.
Gaila: If that's the best lie you can come up with, no wonder you're broke.
Quark: Gaila! What a pleasant surprise.
Gaila: I doubt it. A clothed female. How titillating.
Dax: Isn't this the cousin that tried to kill you?
Gaila: I see you've heard of me. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to talk to my dear cousin. Alone.
Quark: If you've come for your latinum you've come a long way for nothing, because that's all I can give you. Nothing.
Gaila: Spare me the sad story. I'm well aware of your financial situation and I'm here to help.
Quark: What are you going to do, loan me some exploding latinum?
Gaila: I can understand your skepticism, but I know a way that can help the both of us. I'm offering you a job.
Quark: You'd defy the FCA ban on doing business with me?
Gaila: What's family for? Besides, I won't tell if you don't.
Quark: You want me to sell weapons, don't you?
Gaila: That's what I do. Now I know you've had reservations about entering this lucrative field. It's dangerous, it's too technical, it's not a people business. But let me tell you something, cousin. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Quark: I've told you before, I can't smuggle weapons through this station. Odo would be on to me in a second.
Gaila: Who said anything about bringing weapons here?
Quark: Then what do you need me for?
Gaila: I need you, Quark, to do the things you do best. Public relations, showing our clients a good time, providing an atmosphere conducive to closing deals.
Quark: I can do that.
Gaila: Of course you can. And you'll earn five percent off every sale.
Quark: Ten.
Gaila: You'll take five.
Quark: I had no idea.
Gaila: Weapons is a growth industry. In a month, all your debts will be paid. In six months, the Ferengi Commerce Authority will be begging to reinstate you. In a year, you'll have your own moon.
Quark: My own moon.
Gaila: Success or failure? What's it going to be, cousin?
Quark: What have I got to lose?
O'Brien: Come in.
Jake: Morning, Chief.
O'Brien: Shh. Quiet. You'll wake him. He only dropped off about an hour ago.
Jake: You look terrible.
O'Brien: I didn't get much sleep. He woke up every hour or two. Every time I tried to put him back in his crib he started crying again. He misses his mother.
Jake: When is Professor O'Brien due back from Bajor?
O'Brien: I don't know. A week, maybe two. However long it takes to get that blight under control.
Jake: That long?
O'Brien: On top of that, Annel had some kind of family emergency, so I'm stuck without a babysitter.
Jake: Don't worry about it, Chief. Everything's going to be fine. I'll take care of Yoshi.
O'Brien: Huh?
Jake: Absolutely.
O'Brien: You sure you're up to it?
Jake: Absolutely. I've babysat Ensign Pran's hatchlings a couple of times, made sure their little wings didn't get tangled.
O'Brien: Kirayoshi doesn't have wings.
Jake: Even better.
O'Brien: I think he's worn himself out. He should sleep now. If he wakes up, give him one of his bottles. There's diapers in the bag over there.
Jake: Don't worry, Chief, I know the drill. Now go to work. You need the rest.
O'Brien: I'll be fine. I went through the same thing with Molly. It's just a phase. He'll grow out of it sooner or later. Gently now.
Jake: You see, no problem.
O'Brien: I'll check in with you at lunch. If you need me, I'm just a comm-line away.
Jake: He, he
O'Brien: Give him to me. Shh. There, there, there. Shh, shh, shh.
Jake: You're good.
O'Brien: He feels safe with me. Give me the bag. I'm taking him with me.
Jake: To work?
O'Brien: What choice do I have?
Gaila: Would you stop doing that!
Quark: Shh. Just being careful. Odo could be anywhere or anything.
Gaila: Quark, we saw him walk down the Promenade five minutes ago.
Quark: He's very tricky.
Gaila: There he is.
Quark: Where?
Gaila: How good to see you again.
Hagath: The pleasure's all mine.
Gaila: Quark, this is my associate, Hagath.
Hagath: Quark. And my companion, Talura. Your cousin speaks very highly of you.
Quark: I've always said my cousin is an excellent judge of character.
Hagath: I admire confidence in a man. In fact, I demand it of my salesmen. But in business, one must be careful not to grow too confident.
Quark: That can be a fatal mistake.
Hagath: I believe the phrase you used to bring me here was an opportunity of a lifetime.
Gaila: An accurate description.
Hagath: Show me.
Hagath: Very nice.
Hagath: Its weight and balance appears just right.
Quark: We have a wide range of targets for you to choose from.
Hagath: That won't be necessary.
Hagath: A perfect replica. It even pulls a little to the right, just like the real ones.
Quark: These are the finest holosuites in the sector.
Hagath: I believe it. Remember we sold a hundred and fifty thousand of these to the Manchovites.
Gaila: And we sold another hundred thousand to the other side. Now there was a beautiful little war.
Hagath: Too bad about the armistice.
Gaila: Well, all good things must come to an end.
Quark: You sell weapons to opposing sides?
Hagath: On occasion. It's very dangerous. If either side realizes what you're doing, it could be most unpleasant.
Gaila: But as they say, the riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Hagath: True. Well, I'm glad I came. This solves many of our problems.
Gaila: It certainly does. No actual weapons coming in or out, so we don't break any local laws. All shipping happens outside Federation space, so Starfleet can't touch us. And since all we're demonstrating are holograms, we can even show off the specialty items.
Hagath: Gaila, well done.
Gaila: It was all Quark's idea.
Hagath: Quark. You really are a find. I'm sure we're going to accomplish great things together.
Quark: I can't wait.
Hagath: Just one thing. Don't cross me, Quark. Don't ever cross me. Understood?
Quark: Completely.
Hagath: Right. Now, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like to see my quarters.
Gaila: If he were a bit shorter and his teeth were a little sharper, he'd make a perfect Ferengi.
Quark: Why'd you tell him this was my idea?
Gaila: I want him to like you.
Quark: The Breen CRM one-fourteen works equally well against moving vessels or surface emplacements. It's guaranteed to cut through reactive armor in the six to fifteen centimeter range, and shields to four point six gigajoules.
Customer: It's light.
Customer: Nice.
Quark: The quick recharge is one of its most popular features.
Customer: I'll take two thousand.
Quark: It's a pleasure doing business with someone who appreciates a fine weapon.
Quark: How'd I do?
Hagath: You're a natural salesman.
Quark: I am, aren't I? It's no different than selling sandwiches.
Gaila: What did I tell you?
Hagath: I always like to celebrate a job well done. To Quark.
Gaila: Quark.
Quark: I'm going to like doing this job.
Quark: You wanted to see me?
Hagath: Just a moment. Who would have thought that so much money can be made from Andarian glass beads. How did things go with the Proxcinians?
Quark: He purchased seven thousand tritanium plated assault skimmers.
Hagath: Good. And he'll be back for more. The Proxcinian war is just heating up.
Quark: Lucky us.
Hagath: I suppose you're wondering when you'll start seeing your share of the profits.
Quark: It had crossed my mind.
Hagath: I'm afraid it won't be soon.
Quark: I don't understand.
Hagath: I took the liberty of transferring your earnings directly to your creditors. You'll be happy to know they were most appreciative.
Quark: I would have paid them their money.
Hagath: I don't doubt your intentions, but money does strange things to people and I can't afford to have an associate distracted with financial difficulties. So, until your debt is paid, you won't be seeing any profit.
Quark: And once my debts are paid?
Hagath: Your earnings will be yours to do with as you will, as long as you remain solvent. Quark, do forgive me. You see, my associates are like family to me and I feel it's my duty to keep them from getting into trouble, and to shower them with affection. Go on, open it.
Quark: Andarian glass beads. These must be worth
Hagath: An absolute fortune. A small token of my esteem.
Quark: Look!
Bashir: Go ahead. Beat that, Chief!
O'Brien: Come on, Yoshi. It may not seem fair forcing the good Doctor to throw from farther away, but he is genetically engineered.
Bashir: Chief, don't you think you should put the baby down?
O'Brien: I haven't put Yoshi down for a week. If I can carry him at work, I can carry him here.
Bashir: There must be some babysitter on the station that can pacify him.
O'Brien: You want to bet?
Bashir: But you can't hold him forever. You've already got one bad shoulder.
O'Brien: Okay. You want me to put the baby down? Fine. I'll put the baby down.
O'Brien: Happy?
Bashir: That's amazing.
O'Brien: No, this is amazing.
O'Brien: Yes. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's my throw.
Quark: That's right, keep going. Ah ha. Don't stop until you see smoke.
Quark: Ahhh. Come in.
Odo: I hope I'm not interrupting anything. I believe you know the way to the Security Office.
Quark: None of these charges are going to stick. I haven't broken any laws. I have a license to run holosuites.
Odo: But you don't have a license to sell weapons, do you?
Quark: I defy you to prove that I brought a single weapon onto the station.
Odo: It's a mere technicality. We both know what you're doing. And I promise you, you're going to face the consequences.
Sisko: Not today, he isn't.
Sisko: Let him go.
Odo: Let him go?
Sisko: Major, tell the Constable what you told me.
Kira: The Bajoran government insists that Deep Space Nine not interfere with the lawful transactions of Hagath or his associates. Hagath supplied arms to the Resistance. Without him, or people like him, we'd all be dead. The Cardassians would still be in power. We owe him.
Odo: Captain!
Sisko: I don't like it any more than you do.
Quark: Better luck next time.
Sisko: You better hope there isn't a next time, mister. I have cut you a lot of slack in the past. I even looked away once or twice when I could have come down hard on you. But those days are over. Now, we may not be able to get you for selling weapons but you so much as litter on the Promenade and I will nail you to the wall.
Kira: Something to look forward to.
Gaila: I'll never forget how many people told us we were making a mistake. Sell weapons to the Bajorans?
Hagath: What chance do they have? Invest in a winner, sell to the Cardassians.
Quark: But why did you sell weapons to the Bajorans? They couldn't have had much money.
Hagath: My dear Quark, not every deal is about making money. Sometimes, you have to look at the big picture, and at times gaining a friend is more important than making profit.
Gaila: I admit it's not the Ferengi way, but it's good business nonetheless.
Hagath: I knew the Cardassians would eventually lose, and you know why?
Quark: Because they were overly confident.
Hagath: Exactly. They underestimated the Bajoran thirst for freedom. I didn't.
Gaila: You want me to handle this?
Hagath: No. Come in.
Hagath: Ah, Farrakk. How nice of you to join us.
Farrakk: What was so important that you had to see me in person? I was about to close that deal with the Verillians.
Hagath: Oh really? I heard they had no longer any need of our services.
Farrakk: Since when?
Hagath: Since they signed an agreement with Metron Consortium. I also heard that you hadn't even opened negotiations with the Verillians.
Farrakk: That's a lie.
Hagath: And that instead of doing your job, you were off enjoying yourself on Risa.
Farrakk: I can explain.
Hagath: I don't want any explanations. I put my faith in you and you let me down. As from now, our relationship is terminated.
Farrakk: Hagath, can't we just talk this over? I made a mistake.
Hagath: An expensive mistake. Goodbye.
Hagath: Are you still there?
Hagath: Now, that was a most unpleasant experience. Shall we get back to what we were talking about?
Gaila: Evening, cousin. Business always this good?
Quark: I haven't had a single Starfleet customer all day. Come to think of it, nobody from the Federation has come through those doors. I must be off limits.
Gaila: Quark, as long as we keep the holosuite busy, you've got nothing to worry about. Which reminds me, we have a very special client arriving next week. The Regent of Palamar.
Quark: Never heard of him.
Gaila: He's very, very wealthy.
Quark: Can't wait to meet him.
Gaila: He's also very particular about how he's treated.
Quark: As well he should be. After all, he's a Regent.
Gaila: I have to say, cousin, you've done well. And it couldn't have come at a better time for both of us.
Quark: Why's that?
Gaila: I'm thinking about stepping back, taking it easy for a change. You could take my place, run things with Hagath. You'd be earning a bigger share of the profit.
Quark: Have you spoken to Hagath about that?
Gaila: He likes you, Quark.
Quark: And I like him. I'd also like a bigger share of the profits.
Gaila: Then everyone's happy. Except for Farrakk.
Quark: What about Farrakk?
Gaila: Didn't you hear? His ship blew up shortly after he left the station. Warp core breach. That Hagath, what a temper.
Quark: Are you saying Hagath killed him?
Gaila: You heard what he said, cousin. He doesn't like to be crossed. Just make sure you don't forget that.
Quark: Double snail juice, extra smooth. Good morning, Commander. Mind if I join you?
Dax: Actually, I do.
Quark: That's okay, I won't take it personally.
Dax: Quark, I'm busy.
Quark: I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed in you. I thought you, of all people, would understand.
Dax: Understand what? That you've finally shown how despicable you truly are? That you don't care how many people die as long as you make a profit.
Quark: Who said anything about people dying? The weapons I sell are strictly defensive. To be well armed is a deterrent to war. Don't you know anything about the balance of power?
Dax: Quark, you don't really believe any of that, do you?
Quark: Jadzia, there was nothing else I could do. I was drowning. The waters were closing over my head and just as my lungs were about to burst, my cousin threw me a lifeline. How could I possibly refuse?
Dax: Feeling a little guilty, Quark?
Quark: Guilty? Me? I don't have anything to feel guilty about.
Dax: Then why come to me asking for forgiveness?
Bashir: I've got good news, Chief. Your son is fine.
O'Brien: Except that he cries constantly unless I'm holding him.
Bashir: I've given him every imaginable test. Eyes, ears, digestive, pulmonary and nervous systems. There's nothing medically wrong with him.
O'Brien: What are you telling me, my baby's just sad?
Bashir: Perhaps he's become prematurely aware of life's existential isolation.
O'Brien: You sure it's not a rash?
Bashir: Look on the bright side. He'll probably be a great poet. There's nothing I can do for you, Chief.
O'Brien: Yes, there is.
Bashir: What's wrong?
O'Brien: My neck.
Bashir: Hold on, I'll get a neural modulator.
Quark: Palamarian sea urchin, lightly sautéed in garlic and moon grass. Matopin rock fungi tossed on a bed of tartoc and seasoned with clavisoa berries. And for the main course, stuffed Wentlian condor snake. All the Regent's favorite dishes. I obtained the recipes through his palace chefs in exchange for a small gratuity.
Hagath: Quark, may I ask you a question?
Quark: Go ahead.
Hagath: Are you trying to ruin me on purpose, or is this sheer incompetence?
Quark: Ruin you? I don't want to ruin you.
Hagath: Here we are, about to open negotiations with an important new client and this is the welcome you're prepared to give him?
Quark: They told me he'd like it.
Hagath: This? He's going to like this?
Quark: Yes.
Hagath: Well, he should. It's delicious. We had you going there, didn't we?
Gaila: Oh, you had him, you definitely had him.
Hagath: Quark, I love you. It's magnificent, all of it.
Quark: So glad you approve.
Hagath: Well, that's enough fun for now. The Regent will be here shortly, and tonight we are going to make some money.
Regent: Nassuc was the best officer I ever had. I took her out of the ranks and made her a general. In time, she would have inherited my entire empire. And how did she pay me back? By declaring independence for her homeworld.
Hagath: Betrayal. It's the one unforgivable sin. Especially when it's committed by someone you trusted implicitly.
Regent: Most arms dealers wouldn't understand such considerations. They have no ideals, no passions except for lining their own pockets. I always felt you were a man of honor. You're all men of honor.
Gaila: How very perceptive of you, Regent.
Quark: Now, how can we help you?
Regent: I want to make an example of Nassuc and her followers. I intend to eradicate her entire city.
Gaila: What kind of casualties are you looking for?
Regent: Seven or eight million.
Hagath: We can help you there.
Regent: But that's just the beginning. Over the next couple of months, I would like the death toll to rise slowly but steadily.
Gaila: Can you give us a figure?
Regent: About twenty million.
Hagath: Now, what would be most effective? Prions?
Gaila: Either that or a mutagenic retrovirus. What do you think, Quark?
Quark: Twenty eight million dead? Can't we just wound some of them?
Regent: I am here to buy weapons. Are you here to sell them?
Hagath: Absolutely. Quark was just trying to make a little joke, but unfortunately Ferengi humor doesn't translate too well. So let's forgo any further attempts at jocularity, shall we? And get down to the business!
Gaila: Quark, maybe I didn't make myself clear. I've been in the weapons business forty years. I want to retire.
Quark: I don't blame you.
Gaila: But I'm not going to be able to retire if my hand-picked successor can't control his conscience.
Quark: The Regent is insane.
Gaila: Stop being so judgmental. It's his bank account, not his mental health you should be concerned with.
Quark: But twenty eight million people. That just seems wrong.
Gaila: If Hagath heard you talk that way he would toss you out the nearest airlock. Look out there. Millions and millions of stars, millions upon millions of worlds. And right now, half of them are fanatically dedicated to destroying the other half. Now, do you think if one of those twinkling little lights suddenly went out, anybody would notice? Suppose I offered you ten million bars of gold pressed latinum to help turn out one of those lights, would you really tell me to keep my money?
Sisko: Hello, Quark.
Quark: You don't look so good.
Sisko: That's because I'm dead.
Jake: Way to go, Quark. I had my whole life ahead of me.
Quark: I didn't do anything.
Dax: You killed us all.
Quark: Now hold on. You can't blame me.
Kira: Deny it all you want. You're responsible.
Sisko: I hope it was worth it.
Dax: How much latinum did they pay you?
Kira: Enough to buy a new conscience?
O'Brien: Why, Quark? Why did you kill my baby?
Quark: This isn't my fault.
Sisko: You lose.
Quark: No, no, no!
Quark: What have I done?
Sisko: Chief, why is the baby in the pit?
O'Brien: It's kind of hard to explain, sir.
Sisko: Try.
O'Brien: As soon as I took him down there with me, he fell asleep. Could be the pattern of the lights, the hum of the optronic emitters, the vibrations of the ODN relays, I'm not sure. But the point is, he's not crying.
Sisko: Yes. Chief, why don't you take off for a few days off until Keiko gets back? I think we can manage without you for that long.
O'Brien: That won't be necessary, sir. I have the situation well in hand.
Sisko: What I'm trying say is that keeping Kirayoshi in the pit is not an acceptable solution. Find another one.
O'Brien: Yes, sir. Sir?
Sisko: Yes, Chief?
O'Brien: Could we wait till he wakes up before we move him? He only just dropped off.
Sisko: Very well. And then I want him out of there.
O'Brien: Yes, sir.
Sisko: Don't you people have work to do?
Dax: What the hell are you doing in here?
Quark: I want you to have this.
Dax: You broke into my quarters to give me a tongo wheel? Get out before I call Security.
Quark: I'm going.
Dax: And take that thing with you.
Quark: I can't. It's a gift.
Dax: Think you can buy back my friendship?
Quark: It's not a bribe. Chances are I won't be needing it anymore. Goodbye, Dax.
Dax: Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Quark: Don't you want to know where it is I'm going?
Dax: Not really.
Quark: What if I said it was dangerous?
Quark: Figures. Doesn't matter. Where I'm going you can't follow. What I have to do, I have to do alone. One man who's had enough, who's going to stand up and say
Dax: Goodbye, Quark.
Quark: Nervous? The worst Hagath can do is kill you. What's one life compared to the lives of twenty eight million people?
Hagath: What do you mean you can't get your hands on the mutagenic retrovirus?
Quark: Our supplier sold all he had to the Minnobia for their war against the Vek.
Hagath: This isn't good. I've just been telling the Regent that his shipment will be delivered within a week. He's leaving right now. He is not going to be happy, Quark.
Quark: I know. He'll be stuck with twenty eight million people and no way to kill them.
Hagath: I'm glad you're amused, Quark.
Quark: Lucky for us, I can get hold of some Varaxian LM Seven.
Hagath: Never heard of it.
Quark: It's a new biogenic weapon, still in the experimental stage.
Hagath: Is it effective?
Quark: They'll be dropping like flies. Only trouble is, I don't know how much of it I can get. You think the Regent would be satisfied with only seventeen million people killed?
Hagath: Well, seventeen million, it's better than nothing.
Quark: Then what you have to do is tell him there's been a change of plans. Tell him we have something new to show him. It might take a little longer to get the results he wants, but we'll give him a twenty percent diskount. In the meantime, I'll have a sample of Varaxian LM Seven sent here and we'll arrange for a small demonstration. We'll find a planet with some low-level lifeforms on it nobody will miss.
Hagath: I'll speak to the Regent, try to keep him from leaving. You make sure you get this sample here as soon as possible. Don't fail me, Quark.
Quark: Believe me, I want this deal to go through more than anybody. I'm finally out of debt. These are the first profits I get to keep.
Hagath: Get going.
Quark: Stop looking so unhappy. The dabo tables will still be there when you get back.
Gaila: But I was winning. What could be more important than that?
Quark: I told you there's somebody I want you to meet.
Quark: Gaila, meet General Nassuc, head of the Palamarian Freedom Brigade.
Gaila: Pleased to meet you. We need to talk.
Quark: Will you excuse us for just a moment?
Gaila: What is that female doing on the station?
Quark: I invited her.
Gaila: Are you crazy? She's the Regent's mortal enemy. Does he know she's here? Does Hagath?
Quark: Of course not.
Gaila: You are scaring me, cousin.
Quark: Relax. I know selling weapons to opposing sides is dangerous, but as you said yourself, The riskier the road.
Gaila: Don't quote The Rules of Acquisition to me. If Hagath finds out we're doing this behind his back, we'll wind up as dead as Farrakk.
Quark: Only if we fail, and we're not going to fail. we're going to sell Varaxian LM Seven to both the Regent and the General.
Gaila: Is she interested?
Quark: Oh, she jumped at the chance. She's as crazy as the Regent. Both sides will poison each other, we'll double our profits, and Hagath will be very happy.
Gaila: But what if they see one another, realize what we're doing?
Quark: It's a busy station. We'll keep them far apart. Just think of all that latinum.
Gaila: What do you want me to do?
Quark: Keep the General occupied for twenty minutes, then take her to cargo bay five. I'll meet you there.
Regent: Open it.
Hagath: You heard him.
Quark: That's odd.
Regent: What's wrong?
Hagath: Nothing. Right, Quark?
Quark: The code sequencer isn't working.
Hagath: Then fix it.
Quark: Right away. I just need to get a descrambler. And then while I'm at it, I'll get a bottle of champagne to celebrate.
Hagath: Forget the champagne. Just get here as quickly as possible.
Quark: Whatever you say.
Hagath: He'll be back shortly.
Gaila: Quark, where are you going?
Quark: I'll be right back. I just have to get a descrambler.
Gaila: After you.
Regent: Hagath, what's she doing here?
Male: It's a trap!
Odo: Attention all personnel. There are reports of phaser fire in cargo bay five. Seal the area.
Security: You're with me. Double time!
O'Brien: Good afternoon, Commander.
Worf: Chief, my schedule shows you were supposed to begin modifying the deflector array aboard the Defiant today.
O'Brien: I'm sorry, sir. The Captain thought I could use a few days leave so I decided to take him up on it.
Worf: To care for your son.
O'Brien: Looking after a baby can be a full time job. Here, do me a favor. Just hold him for a minute. I have to get his bottle. He may cry for a bit, but it's okay, there's nothing wrong with him.
Worf: Chief, I need to
O'Brien: Just be a minute.
Worf: What is the matter?
O'Brien: The baby. He's not crying. He's not crying!
O'Brien: Here.
Worf: I never saw my son when he was this age. It is something I will always regret. You are a fortunate man. Chief. Chief?
Sisko: You're facing some serious charges here, Quark. Incitement to riot, endangering the public safety, disregard
Quark: How was I supposed to know everyone was going to start shooting? I just wanted them to cross paths so that the deal would fall through.
Sisko: It fell through, all right. Hagath and Gaila barely managed to get off the station alive.
Quark: I hear General Nassuc sent a purification squad after them.
Sisko: I wouldn't count on seeing your former business partners again.
Quark: I can live with that.
Sisko: What about the Regent's death?
Quark: The Regent's dead?
Sisko: A purification squad caught up with him this morning.
Quark: I can live with that, too. And I can think of twenty eight million other people who won't mind either.
Sisko: Twenty eight million and one.
Quark: So, about those charges. Surely we can come up with some sort of accommodation?
Sisko: That depends.
Quark: On what?
Sisko: This is what it's going to cost to repair the cargo bay.
Quark: That much?
Sisko: That much.
Quark: Well, maybe we could come up with some sort of installlment plan?
Sisko: Works for me.
Dax: Retreat.
Quark: Acquire.
Dax: Confront.
Quark: Evade.
Quark: The risk is at ten, with a purchase of seven and a sale of fourteen.
Dax: Nice move. But then you always had a knack for getting out of tight spots.
Quark: It's a gift. Now, about my tongo wheel.
Dax: It's not your tongo wheel. You gave it to me, remember?
Quark: I know that I gave it to you, but at the time
Dax: I'm not giving it back, and that's final. Confront.
Quark: Retreat.