Garak: Odo, what's wrong?
Odo: I don't know.
Odo: I think you did this to me.
Founder: You killed a changeling, Odo. That's why we forced you to return home to enter into the Great Link and be judged.
Sisko: What have you done to him?
Founder: We made him a solid. He's one of you now.
Bashir: Captain, I'm reading a heart, lungs, and a digestive system. It's as if he were human.
Gowron: Will be considered the enemy and fired upon.
Odo: Captain. It's him.
Sisko: Gowron? What about him?
Odo: During the Link, I sensed that the other changelings were trying to hide things from me. Faces, names. One of them was him.
Kira: What are you saying?
Odo: I'm saying that he's one of them. Gowron, the head of the Klingon Empire, is a changeling.
Worf: Where are they? They should've been back hours ago.
O'Brien: Maybe the meeting with Starfleet Command took longer than they thought it would.
Kira: Then why haven't Sisko or Dax contacted us?
O'Brien: Well, the whole area they're traveling through is crawling with Klingon ships. The second they use their subspace transmitter, they become a target.
Worf: I never should have let them leave in a runabout. I should have insisted that they take the Defiant.
Kira: You did. But the Captain's orders were clear. As long as we're at war with the Klingons, we need the Defiant here to help protect the station.
O'Brien: All I know is that I'd hate to be dodging Klingon raiding parties in nothing but a runabout.
Worf: It would take a fleet of Klingon ships to breach the station's defenses. I say we take the Defiant and go looking for them.
O'Brien: I'm with Worf.
Kira: I'm glad the two of you are in agreement. But with the Captain gone, I am in charge of the station and I say we stay.
Worf: You may be in charge of the station, Major, but I command the Defiant.
Kira: Mister Worf, the Captain has given us our orders and I intend for us to follow them until he issues new ones.
O'Brien: Hold on a minute. I'm reading a warp signature approaching the station.
Worf: It is the Rio Grande.
Kira: On screen.
O'Brien: Looks like they had a run in with some Klingons. Weapons systems, shields and comm. system are all pretty shot up.
Kira: Life signs?
O'Brien: Two. One human, one Trill.
Worf: Permission to welcome the Captain back on board.
Kira: Permission granted.
Kira: Glad you made it back in one piece.
Sisko: So are we.
Kira: How was your meeting with Starfleet Command?
Sisko: I'm afraid the war's not going very well. The Klingons are throwing everything they have at us. Starfleet's been able to slow them down, but that's about all.
Kira: It's hard to believe one changeling could cause so much chaos.
Dax: He can if he's impersonating the leader of the Klingon Empire.
Kira: So is Starfleet going to do something about Chancellor Gowron or not?
Dax: Oh, they're going to do something.
Sisko: Starfleet's sending an infiltration team to Klingon territory. Their orders are to do whatever it takes to prove that Gowron's a shape-shifter.
Kira: Tough assignment. Who are they sending?
Sisko: Me.
Quark: Captain, you're just in time for happy hour.
Sisko: Do I look happy, Quark?
Quark: Do you think any of these people looked happy when they walked in here? How could they? There's a war going on. But they come because they know I'll do everything in my power to help them forget their troubles. For a reasonable fee, of course. Now, what can I do for you?
Sisko: I'm looking for Odo.
Quark: Oh, Captain, we all have our failures, and he's mine. Every since he lost his shape-shifting abilities, I haven't been able to get a smile out of him.
Sisko: Where is he?
Quark: I'm telling you, Captain, that's one depressed ex-changeling. He's upstairs at his usual table. Just follow the black cloud.
Sisko: Constable.
Odo: Listen, Captain. Do you hear it?
Sisko: You mean the bubbles?
Odo: Soothing, isn't it? You know, before I became a solid I never heard that. I didn't have a sense of taste so I never paid much attention to food or drink. I had no idea how seductive they could be. Would you like me to get you a glass?
Sisko: I'm on duty.
Odo: I'm not.
Sisko: I thought you were always on duty.
Odo: You know, at first I found the whole process of ingestion disgusting. But now that I've gotten used to it, I find eating and drinking to be quite comforting. It's one of the few things that you, that we humanoids have control over.
Sisko: Not necessarily. There's always the temptation to eat too much, to drink too much.
Odo: One has to find something to do with one's time. For some reason, my work isn't as fulfillling as it used to be.
Sisko: I might be able to do something about that. Starfleet has ordered us to try to expose the Gowron changeling. I want you to come with us.
Odo: Maybe it would be better for you to take Deputy Yndar. There's nothing I can do that he can't.
Sisko: I don't need Yndar. I need you.
Odo: What you need is someone who can turn into Gowron's pet targ. I can't do that anymore.
Sisko: What I need is my Chief of Security. There will be a staff meeting at sixteen hundred hours. I expect you to be there.
Sisko: According to Starfleet intelligence, Chancellor Gowron has relocated Klingon military headquarters to Ty'Gokor.
Worf: That will make our job more difficult. Ty'Gokor is located in an asteroid field deep in Klingon space. It is probably the most heavily fortified installlation in the Empire.
Sisko: There are at least thirty warships stationed there at any given time and the entire asteroid field is protected by a tachyon detection grid.
O'Brien: Which means there's no way we can get a cloaked ship within transporter range.
Worf: Even if we do find a way inside, getting close to Gowron will not be easy. He is guarded around the clock by his personal security force, the Yan-Isleth.
Dax: The Brotherhood of the Sword.
Kira: Look, I don't want to sound negative, but even if you do get to Gowron, how are you going to prove to the Klingons he's a changeling?
Odo: I doubt he's going to stand still and let us take a blood sample.
Bashir: The Klingons are obsessive about blood screenings. If he's lasted this long, the changeling impersonating Gowron must have already found a way around them.
Worf: There is another option. We could kill him.
O'Brien: Dead changelings do revert to their gelatinous state.
Sisko: Our orders are to expose Gowron, not assassinate him. Which is why Starfleet has given us these.
Bashir: Very impressive. What are they?
Dax: They're modified polaron emitters.
Sisko: Starfleet Science thinks that exposure to polaron radiation will have a destabilizing effect on changeling physiology.
Odo: In other words, if we use these on Gowron and he is one of my people, he won't be able to retain his humanoid shape.
Sisko: That's the theory.
Dax: The problem is, for it to work properly, you have to activate all four emitters at once.
Sisko: With this.
O'Brien: I hate prototypes.
Dax: Plus, too much polaron radiation can be fatal. Which means we can only expose a person once. Any more than that, changeling or not, and they could die from radiation poisoning.
Sisko: The plan is to smuggle these into Ty'Gokor. Once they're set up, they can cover about twelve thousand cubic meters.
O'Brien: So let me get this straight. All we have to do is get past an enemy fleet, avoid a tachyon detection grid, beam into the middle of Klingon headquarters and avoid the Brotherhood of the Sword long enough to set these things up and activate them in front of Gowron.
Worf: If we succeed, there will be many songs sung in our honor.
O'Brien: Let's hope we're there to hear them.
Kira: The first problem is how to get you safely to Ty'Gokor.
Sisko: That's one I think I can solve.
Dukat: Major, I must say I'm shocked. You use my daughter to lure me here, you're asking me to risk my ship on some fool's errand into the Klingon Empire, and you're pregnant. I hope First Minister Shakaar appreciates what a lucky man he is.
Kira: Shakaar's not the father.
Dukat: Then who is?
Kira: Chief O'Brien.
Kira: Promenade.
Dukat: Well, at least there's one good thing about your condition. You won't be going on this suicidal mission.
Kira: It may not be as hopeless as you think.
Dukat: How can Sisko be so deluded to think he and three of his crewmen can infiltrate Klingon military headquarters? They'll be caught in a heartbeat.
Kira: Maybe.
Kira: Maybe not.
Sisko: What's wrong, Dukat? Haven't you ever seen a Klingon before?
Sisko: I see we're all here.
Worf: The ship is ready for departure, sir.
Sisko: At your convenience, Gul Dukat.
Dukat: Captain, I insist we make a holographic record of the four of you. Consider it payment in full for the use of my vessel.
O'Brien: Maybe after the mission.
Damar: After the mission you'll all be dead.
Dukat: Damar, let's not spoil this special moment with predictions of doom. Even you have to appreciate the audacity of Captain Sisko's plan.
Damar: Personally, I think we'd be better off launching an orbital assault on Gowron's command center. A full spread of photon torpedoes would take care of him, the Klingon High Command and everyone else within a few hundred kilometers.
Odo: You should ask Dukat for some shore leave. I think you've been in space too long.
Damar: Why? Because I'm willing to spill a little Klingon blood to get the job done?
O'Brien: Shelling Ty'Gokor won't get the job done. You'd be lucky to launch one torpedo before they shot you down. Besides, even a dozen won't penetrate the shielding around the command center.
Sisko: Thank you for the input, Mister Damar, but we'll stick to the original plan. Are you making any progress with our Klingon identity files?
Dukat: Oh, don't worry, Captain. By the time we get to Ty'Gokor, we'll have something suitably impressive to plant in their central computer system.
Worf: Our names should be added to the list of candidates for the Order of the Bat'leth.
Dukat: The Order of the Bat'leth? Don't you think you might be overdoing it?
Sisko: They'll be inducting some new members in a few days, and Chancellor Gowron will be presiding over the ceremony.
Dukat: That should make for a very interesting evening.
Bashir: Here are the results of the crew physicals.
Kira: Anything interesting?
Bashir: Lieutenant Vilix'pran is budding again.
Kira: You're kidding. How many will this make?
Bashir: Let's see now. He had two from the last litter, four before that. Could be anywhere from eight to eighteen.
Kira: He'll need bigger quarters again.
Bashir: He said the request will be on your desk in the morning.
Kira: Eighteen? I just hope I can survive one.
Bashir: You're doing great.
Kira: I don't feel great.
Bashir: You're positively glowing.
Kira: Oh, really?
Bashir: I think so, but then, I suppose my opinion really doesn't count.
Kira: It counts. But don't forget, this is still your fault.
Bashir: My fault?
Kira: You performed the transfer from Keiko to me.
Bashir: After you volunteered.
Kira: After you put the idea in my head.
Bashir: After you flew the runabout into an asteroid field.
Kira: After you insisted we check on those anomalous bio-scans.
Bashir: That was Keiko.
Kira: That's right, it was. But I'd rather blame you!
Bashir: Whatever makes you happy. I never argue with my patients or my commanding officer. You think they'll make it?
Kira: They'll make it. Question is, will you be able to give them their old faces back?
Worf: We shall start with you. I am waiting.
Odo: I don't understand.
Worf: I am not interested in excuses. Are you a Klingon warrior or an Alverian dung beetle?
Odo: I really don't see the point
Worf: Do not look away from me. I called you a dung beetle.
Odo: I heard you.
Worf: And what is your response?
Odo: You should have your eyes examined.
Worf: This is not going to work. It is not enough to look like a Klingon. One must act like one. Perhaps it is better if I went
Sisko: Are you questioning the validity of my plan?
Worf: Very convincing, Captain. But was it your intention to challenge me to a battle to the death?
Sisko: No, not at all.
Worf: The next time, do not strike me with the back of your hand. Use your fist.
O'Brien: This is more complicated than I thought.
Worf: You should think twice before insulting a Klingon like that.
O'Brien: What did I do?
Worf: Look at you. You stand so far away from me. You speak so softly. Are you afraid of me or just disgusted by my presence?
Sisko: Klingon warriors speak to each other proudly. They do not whisper or keep their distance.
0'Brien: Sorry! I'll do better next time.
Worf: Keep practicing.
Sisko: Constable?
Odo: Captain, I have no business being on this mission. I'm not a very convincing Klingon.
Sisko: Then you'd better work on becoming one. Because like it or not, you are on this mission.
Odo: I'd hate to be the reason it fails.
Sisko: Let me worry about that. Odo, I know this has been a difficult time for you. That you never would've chosen to become a solid. But what's done is done. Brooding isn't going to change anything, and shirking your responsibilities isn't going to make you feel better about yourself.
Odo: No, I don't suppose it will.
Sisko: Then I suggest you get back in there and do your job.
Sisko: What's going on, Dukat?
Dukat: We're being hailed by another bird of prey.
Odo: What are you doing about it?
Dukat: We're hailing them back. I wouldn't worry. This happens all the time.
Damar: Sir, they're requesting visual contact.
Dukat: By all means. It's a shame you can't see the holo-image I'm projecting over the comm. system. I make quite an imposing Klingon.
Damar: Sir, the holofilter's not working.
Dukat: What do you mean it's not working?
O'Brien: Let me take a look at it.
Damar: Sir, they're repeating the request.
O'Brien: The optronic relays are fused.
Odo: Maybe Worf should speak to them.
Worf: I might be able to convince them that
Dukat: I have a better idea.
Worf: You should have let me speak to them!
Sisko: Was that really necessary?
Dukat: It was either that or trust in Mister Worf's ability to lie. And frankly, I have more faith in my weapons. Get us out of here, Damar. I want to put as much distance between us and that wreckage as possible.
O'Brien: I hope I remember how to set this thing up.
Worf: If that is a joke, I am not amused.
O'Brien: It's not easy being funny wearing these teeth.
Dukat: Well, Captain, I've enjoyed your company as always, but it appears it is time we said goodbye. I don't envy your assignment.
O'Brien: Orbiting this place for the next day or so won't be the safest job in the galaxy either.
Dukat: Which is why we'll be leaving as soon as you beam down.
Odo: Leaving? For how long?
Dukat: I really don't see any pressing need to come back.
Sisko: That's not what we agreed to.
Dukat: I realize that. But how long do you think we can stay here undetected without the holofilter? Besides, if you succeed, the war will be over and you won't need us. And if you fail.
Worf: Did you add our names to the Commendation List?
Dukat: I haven't survived this long by being sloppy, Mister Worf. And now Jodmos, son of Kobor, your medal awaits you.
Sisko: Cho'Ghos!
Odo: You all right?
O'Brien: I'm fine. I just wish they'd stop ringing that bell.
Sisko: The Hall of Warriors.
Worf: You can smell the blood of history in these stones. Come, we must celebrate. T'kah!
Odo: Now what?
Sisko: Now we celebrate!
Bashir: How's the view?
Jake: You know, you can tell a lot about people's moods just by watching them walk on the Promenade. When things are going good, people take their time, window shop and talk to their friends. Then there's days like today.
Bashir: Everybody's in a hurry.
Jake: They can feel the Klingons breathing down their necks.
Bashir: Well, I shall have to remember to walk a little slower. Show no fear, that's my motto.
Kira: Ops to Doctor Bashir.
Bashir: Go ahead, Major.
Kira: Report to the Infirmary. The Armstrong and the Drake were ambushed by a Klingon battle group and they took heavy casualties. They'll be docking in a few minutes.
Bashir: I'm on my way. Your father's going to be all right, Jake.
Jake: I suppose. But sometimes I wish that he wasn't so good at his job. That way, maybe every once in a while they'd give someone else the tough assignments.
Bashir: He goes where he's sent. It's all part of wearing the uniform, and I doubt that's ever going to change.
Burly: I was the first to board their starship. With one blow from my bat'leth, I beheaded their helmsman, a Tellarite. The pig didn't even have time to raise his weapon. Well then I turned my attention to the Captain, a Benzenite named Laporin. Ah. He put up a valiant struggle, but in the end I ripped the breathing tubes from his head and
Sisko: Brag all you want, but don't get between me and the bloodwine.
O'Brien: You knew Captain Laporin?
Sisko: We went to the Academy together.
Odo: How long before Gowron gets here?
Worf: Many hours. He will not appear until tomorrow morning at the earliest. This is an endurance test as much as it is a celebration. It's part of the initiation rite for the Order of the Bat'leth. The idea is to eat, drink, stay awake all night and still be clear-eyed when Gowron arrives for the ceremony.
O'Brien: So when do we set up the emitters?
Sisko: Not until morning. I don't want to take the chance of anyone spotting them once they're in place.
Odo: In that case, we might as well drink up. it's a pity it doesn't have any bubbles.
O'Brien: You know, I think I'm actually beginning to like bloodwine.
Odo: It's really not too bad, except for the taste.
O'Brien: Just be thankful the anti-intoxicant we took is still working.
Worf: Or you would be so drunk you would not be able to stand.
O'Brien: Not bad.
Sisko: Captain of the Academy wrestling team. Twenty two years ago. Ow.
Klingon: General Martok!
Worf: Captain.
Sisko: I see him.
0'Brien: What if he recognizes us?
Odo: We'll have come a long way for nothing.
Sisko: Q'apla!
Odo: Q'apla! WORF +
O'Brien: Q'apla!
Martok: Q'apla.
Worf: If Martok is here, Gowron will not be far behind.
Sisko: Let's get it done.
Martok: Hold on there. Don't I know you?
O'Brien: I would be honored to think so.
Martok: I know we have met.
O'Brien: I am Pahash of the House of Konjah.
Martok: The name is not familiar to me, but there is something about you.
O'Brien: Perhaps we met on the battlefield. My regiment fought at Mempa.
Martok: Mempa! Many noble deeds were done on that dark day.
O'Brien: And yours have become legend.
Martok: Mempa. Yes, that must be it.
O'Brien: After the ceremony would you honor me with a drink?
Martok: We will salute the fallen. There is something very familiar about this face.
Drunk: Hey, where's Gowron?
Klingon: What is this?
Odo: Get away from me or you won't live to see Gowron. I'll take that.
Klingon: This looks like some sort of weapon.
Worf: Kodrak, my brother. Ah, you found it.
Klingon: Found what?
Worf: It's a tinghamut.
Klingon: A what?
Worf: A Vulcan toy for children.
Odo: The spoils of war from the raid on Archanis.
Worf: If you want one, you will have to find your own.
Worf: Give this to your son.
Odo: I'll make sure he gets it.
Martok: Long live Gowron! Long live the Empire!
Gowron: Klingon Warriors, I salute you. At least, those of you still on your feet!
Gowron: This is a great day for the Empire, a day when we honor you who have brought us glory, whose deeds of valor will live on in song and story. And so now, here in this hallowed hall, under the watchful gaze of our greatest heroes, you will receive the highest honor that can be bestowed upon a Klingon. The Order of the Bat'leth!
Martok: Come forward, H'Ta, son of Kahmar.
Gowron: Glory to you and your house.
Odo: This is my place. Step down.
Young Klingon: Find another.
Martok: Come forward, T'vis, son of Barot.
Odo: That won't be necessary.
Gowron: Glory to you and your house.
Martok: Come forward, Huss, daughter of A'trom.
Gowron: Glory to you and your house.
Martok: Come forward, Jodmos, son of Kobor.
Gowron: Glory to you and your house.
Martok: Captain Benjamin Sisko. I knew I recognized that face. Seal the room! It seems we have some uninvited guests.
Martok: Captain, you have no idea how much I've looked forward to killing you in battle. And now your foolishness has cheated me of that pleasure.
Sisko: I'm sorry to disappoint you.
Martok: Leave us. You heard me!
Martok: Don't you understand you've thrown your lives away for nothing? Or did you really think you could fool us into believing that Chancellor Gowron was a Dominion spy?
Odo: Gowron is the one who's fooling you. And as long as you follow him, the Empire will be nothing but a pawn of the Founders.
Martok: Where's your proof?
Worf: You want proof? Take our polaron emitters and use them on Gowron.
Martok: Gowron had your equipment destroyed.
O'Brien: Of course he did. He had to make sure he couldn't be tested.
Martok: Captain, your mission was a failure. For that, you deserve to die.
Sisko: Would you be happier if we'd succeeded?
Martok: I am a loyal officer of the Empire.
Sisko: You think we're right, don't you? You believe Gowron's a changeling too.
Martok: That would be treason.
Worf: Since when is it treasonous to act in the best interests of the Empire?
Sisko: How long have you suspected?
Martok: Months. I've known Gowron a long time. And it is no secret that we have not always agreed on the way he runs the Empire. He is a politician, too eager to compromise, too eager to talk. Last year, he stopped the attack on Deep Space Nine instead of going to war with the Federation. And then he changed. Suddenly he was the one calling for war.
O'Brien: I would have thought that would make you happy.
Martok: At first it did, but after the war began he started ignoring the counsel of his generals, throwing aside all wisdom in his pursuit of victory. Our losses continue to mount and still he listens to no one.
Odo: No one but the Founders.
Martok: There is only one certain way to expose Gowron for what he really is, to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is a changeling. Gowron must die.
Odo: Once he's dead, he'll revert to his natural form and all doubt will be eliminated.
Worf: You could challenge him to honorable combat.
Martok: There will be no honorable combat, no formal challenges. I will release you and help you reach the Hall of Warriors, and then you will kill him.
Martok: The prisoners will come with me for further interrogation.
Guard: General, I have strict orders from Gowron himself. The prisoners are not to leave this cell.
Martok: I see. Well, we wouldn't want to disobey the Chancellor.
Martok: Follow me.
Gowron: What? Another toast? Then let us salute Rurik the Damned, conqueror of the Zora Fel, liberator of Vrax.
Martok: For the Empire.
Sisko: Let's go.
Martok: Not you. There's no telling where your loyalties lie.
Gowron: What is this?
Worf: It is your death.
Gowron: No. Lower your weapons. If this traitor wants a fight, I will give him one. You want to kill me, Worf? You're welcome to try.
Martok: What are they doing? Why doesn't Sisko just shoot him?
Odo: I have a better question. Why isn't Gowron letting his bodyguards kill Worf? I'll tell you why. Klingon honor. A concept you should be very familiar with. My people, on the other hand, don't care about honor. How did you put it? There will be no honorable combat, no formal challenges. Hardly the words of a Klingon. Tell me, General, did Gowron destroy the polaron emitters or did you?
Odo: Worf, stop!
Odo: Martok's the changeling.
Sisko: Well, looks like we found our changeling after all.
Gowron: So the Founders mislead Odo into thinking I was a spy, hoping that you'd eliminate me and pave the way for that thing imitating Martok to take over the Empire.
Sisko: That way the war between the Federation and the Klingons would continue until both sides were destroyed.
Gowron: Leaving the Alpha Quadrant wide open for a Dominion invasion.
Odo: That seems to have been their plan.
Sisko: And we played right into it.
Gowron: But they sorely underestimated Odo here.
Odo: Thank you.
Sisko: If we really want to strike a blow against the Founders, we have to find a way to end this war.
Gowron: That may not be possible.
Worf: Why not? You told us that the Martok changeling was the one who pushed for the attack on the Federation.
Gowron: True, but if your Klingon blood wasn't so thin you'd know that once battle has begun, there can be no turning back. You want the war to end, then the Federation must allow us to annex Archanis and the other worlds we've seized.
Sisko: I wouldn't count on it. But if the fighting stops and the negotiations begin
Gowron: Ah, yes. Talk.
Odo: That's right. Talk. The last thing the Dominion wants.
Gowron: I will call a meeting of the High Council, advise a temporary cease fire.
Sisko: Where Gowron leads the Council will follow.
Gowron: Perhaps. I'll see to it that you're safely delivered back to that space station of yours.
Sisko: I'd appreciate that.
Gowron: You have done a great service to the Empire. For that I thank you. As for you, you should have killed me when you had the chance. I promise you won't get another.
Bashir: Now, that's better, isn't it?
Sisko: I don't know. I could do without ridges but I kind of miss the fangs. That leaves you, Odo.
Odo: It's about time. I, for one, won't miss the fangs at all.
Bashir: You know, Constable, I could give you any face you like. Bajoran, human, Trill.
Odo: My old face will do very nicely, thank you.
Sisko: You heard the man.
Bashir: Whatever you say.


Scene: Captain's log, stardate 50049.3. We're conducting a mineral survey of Torga Four, an uninhabited planet in the Gamma Quadrant believed to contain vast deposits of cormaline. Our mission is to determine the feasibility of establishing a mining operation on the planet's surface.
O'Brien: Hey, Muniz. What do you think of this?
Muniz: It's a class five pyroclastic debris and ash. Same morphology we've seen all the way up, sir.
O'Brien: How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me sir. I'm not an officer.
Muniz: No, you know more than they do.
O'Brien: I wouldn't go that far. But I know more than you. So listen to me while I try to teach you something. This morphology is not exactly the same. These deposits are more highly eroded.
Muniz: So?
O'Brien: So, they're different, that's all. I just thought I'd point that out to you.
Muniz: I see. I thought maybe you just stopped to catch your breath.
O'Brien: Me, out of breath? I was climbing mountains in Ireland before you were born.
Muniz: You mean hills, don't you? They have gently sloping hills in Ireland. No mountains. But what do I know? After all, you're the mountain man. An old mountain man.
O'Brien: You know something, Muniz? You're due for a transfer. How does waste extraction sound?
Sisko: How's it going, Chief?
O'Brien: Fine, sir. We finished the survey of the south slope.
Sisko: What do you think, old man? Is this place worth mining?
Dax: Absolutely. The cormaline is only a few hundred meters below the surface, and my readings are correct, it's one of the richest veins I've ever seen.
Sisko: Mister Worf?
Worf: Strategically, the planet's location would make it difficult to maintain adequate supply lines, but not impossible.
Hoya: Hoya to Captain Sisko.
Sisko: Go ahead.
Hoya: Sir, our sensors have detected a ship dropping out of warp.
Sisko: What kind of ship?
Hoya: I'm not sure, sir.
Hoya: I can't get a good reading on it. Plasma leaks from its warp nacelles are disrupting our sensors.
Hoya: Whatever it is, it's fallen into the gravitational pull of the planet. It should enter the atmosphere near your position.
Hoya: Sir, the ship withstood the impact.
Sisko: Survivors?
Hoya: I can't determine that.
Hoya: We're having trouble penetrating the hull with our sensors.
Sisko: Beam us directly to the crash site.
Worf: A warship. A Jem'Hadar warship.
Dax: No hull breach. The only damage I could find is a crushed guidance thruster, if that's what it is.
O'Brien: Captain. I think we have an access point.
Sisko: I'll be right there.
O'Brien: So my young friend, what do you think we're looking at?
Muniz: An upside down ship.
O'Brien: An airlock? A maintenance hatch?
Muniz: Maybe, but this is a warship, and on a warship you want a big access point on the belly to land troops.
O'Brien: There's hope for you yet, Muniz.
Worf: Can you open it, Chief?
O'Brien: I think so.
Sisko: Mister Worf, take the point. T'Lor, you stay put.
Sisko: Commander, secure the area.
Dax: These men didn't die in the crash. They've been dead for hours.
Sisko: What killed them?
Dax: Massive osteonecrosis. Every bone in their body's been shattered.
O'Brien: Sounds like inertial damper failure. The ship accelerated and people were thrown into the bulkheads. Nobody was alive when this ship hit the planet, yet it survived the impact. Whoever designed this baby knew what they were doing.
Dax: No viewscreen. No chairs.
O'Brien: No EPS conduits, no microfusion initiators. No power converters, at least none that I can find.
Sisko: I suppose getting this ship up and running won't be easy.
O'Brien: I can't even determine if it has a warp drive.
Dax: I wonder if this is what all the Jem'Hadar ships are like?
Sisko: The bigger question is what's a Jem'Hadar ship doing all the way out here? We're at least three weeks from the nearest Dominion outpost.
Muniz: Captain, there are twenty nine other bodies. No survivors.
Sisko: Can we use the runabout's tractor beam to haul this thing into orbit? This would be the greatest intelligence find in the last ten years. We're not going to leave it here to rust. What do you say, Chief?
O'Brien: We're not going to haul it out with a runabout.
Sisko: Then we need something with a little more muscle.
Bashir: Will you let the Major be the judge of that.
Quark: What I'm saying is, if you're going to prosecute me I demand that you prosecute my co-conspirator.
Bashir: I'm not a conspirator.
Odo: What would you call yourself, Doctor?
Bashir: An idiot.
Quark: I'll buy that.
Bashir: For asking your help in the first place.
Kira: Would someone please tell me what's going on here?
Odo: Quark brought aboard a shipment of Regalian fleaspiders without an import permit.
Quark: He asked for them!
Bashir: The spiders were for you, Major. I can synthesize a drug from their venom that should improve your circulation. But I didn't know I needed a permit to import them.
Kira: So what's the problem? Fill out the paperwork.
Odo: It's not that simple any more. It seems that Quark took the opportunity to import illegal Regalian liquid crystals along with the fleaspiders. The crystals are a highly intoxicating and sometimes dangerous aphrodisiac.
Quark: What's love without danger?
Kira: I don't have time for this. I just spoke with Captain Sisko. They found a crashed Jem'Hadar ship in the Gamma Quadrant. They need the Defiant right away. I'll be back in about a week.
Bashir: When do we leave?
Kira: I'm leaving right away. I'd say you have some legal problems to work out.
Odo: Gentlemen.
O'Brien: It's embedded about ninety meters into the rock. If I can shake it loose by firing the main thrusters, hauling it out of here'll be a lot easier.
Sisko: There's a problem.
O'Brien: Well, to fire the main thrusters, I need to calibrate the plasma injectors. So far, I can't get a grip the ion regulator.
Muniz: Want to try a hyper-spanner above the matrix? It might open it up a bit.
O'Brien: Maybe we won't send you to waste extraction after all, Muniz.
Worf: Captain, we buried the bodies on the other side of that ridge. The DNA readings. Forty two Jem'Hadar. One Vorta.
Hoya: Hoya to Captain Sisko.
Sisko: Go ahead.
Hoya: A Jem'Hadar warship
Hoya: Has just dropped out of warp.
Sisko: Break orbit and get out of sight
Hoya: They've locked phasers on us. Hard to port.
Hoya: Shields are down! Engage warp
Sisko: Inside. We don't stand a chance in the open.
Dax: We may not be safer in here. The Jem'Hadar can transport through just about anything.
Worf: Why do they not come?
Sisko: Give them time. Watch our backs, Commander. We're moving to the Command Center.
O'Brien: Can you walk?
Muniz: Faster than you can.
Sisko: Let me take a look at this.
Muniz: I'm all right, Captain. I've had worse transporter burns.
Sisko: Where's the medkit?
Dax: T'lor had it.
Muniz: I don't need it, sir. I'll be all right.
Sisko: We have to stop the bleeding.
O'Brien: I'll take care of that. Transporter burn. I'm all right, Captain. Always kissing up to the officers, aren't you, Muniz?
Muniz: Just following your example. You're my hero. Hey!
O'Brien: I have to get to the wound.
Muniz: But this is my best uniform. It's the only one that fits right.
O'Brien: Don't worry, when we get back, we'll have Garak make you a new one.
Muniz: How long 'til the Defiant gets here?
O'Brien: Two and a half days.
Muniz: Don't worry, jefe. I'll get you through this.
O'Brien: I feel better already.
Dax: We've only got one portable generator. The rest are at the base camp. Looks like you need a new bandage, Enrique.
Sisko: Ah. Thanks, Chief.
O'Brien: I'll take it from here, Commander. Quique, do me a favor. Please, stop bleeding before I run out of clothes.
Muniz: I'll do the best I can.
Sisko: What do you make of this, old man?
Dax: My guess, it's some kind of virtual sensory display. The Jem'Hadar equivalent of our viewscreen?
Sisko: There are only two headsets. One for the Vorta and one for the Jem'Hadar First.
Dax: I guess they're the only ones that get to see what's going on outside.
Kilana: Captain Sisko. My name is Kilana. I'm the Vorta in charge of the Jem'Hadar troops surrounding you. If you touch the triangular green panel on any of the control consoles, you'll be able to speak to me.
Dax: They know your name.
Sisko: They always seem to be one step ahead of us. This is Captain Sisko.
Kilana: Captain, I'm so happy to hear your voice. I heard there were some casualties among your crew and I feared you may have been one of them.
Sisko: Thank you for your concern. What do you want?
Kilana: To talk. I think it would be in everyone's best interest if you and I met face-to-face and discussed the situation, like reasonable people.
Sisko: I can be reasonable.
Kilana: So I've heard. One escort each. Agreed?
Sisko: Agreed.
Kilana: Your photograph doesn't do you justice. You're quite striking in person.
Sisko: Look, I'm a little busy, so let's skip the flattery.
Kilana: Weyoun's report on you was right. You are direct. I like that. So let me cut to the chase. I believe that is the correct expression. This is our ship. We want it back.
Sisko: Was your ship. Now it's mine.
Kilana: Captain, I'm a little disappointed. That's the attitude of a thief, not a Starfleet captain with a reputation for integrity. This is clearly our property. What gives you any claim to it?
Sisko: An old legal tradition. Salvage rights. We found a wrecked ship and a dead crew, and we found it first.
Kilana: A very interesting position. But I'm afraid the Dominion doesn't recognize that tradition. What may be even more to the point, we have you completely surrounded and outnumbered. Would you like something to eat, Captain? Or maybe something to drink?
Kilana: These are q'lavas. A personal favorite. They're not poisonous, if that's what you're thinking.
Sisko: Not to you, anyway.
Kilana: I hope you're not teaching Jake to be this suspicious, Benjamin. Or do you prefer Ben?
Sisko: Captain will be fine.
Kilana: I'm sure it's my fault that we seem unable to establish an understanding between us, Captain. I'm sorry I'm not more experienced in these matters. This is my first mission outside the Dominion and my very first dealing with anyone from the Federation. I know you have no reason to trust me, but I hope you'll at least try to consider my offer with an open mind.
Sisko: I'm listening.
Kilana: If you'll leave our ship, I'll take you and your crew back to your space station unharmed. Our accommodations may not be lavish, but I promise you'll all be well cared for, especially your wounded.
Sisko: If you think I'm going to deliver my people into your hands without a fight then this really must be your first mission.
Dax: I'd love to know how the Captain's doing. Any chance you can get this thing working?
O'Brien: Not right away. I'm still trying to get the main power grid online.
Dax: What's that?
O'Brien: That wasn't here before.
Dax: You sure?
O'Brien: Positive.
Dax: Some kind of sensor device.
O'Brien: Whatever it is, it doesn't look too friendly.
Worf: Captain, they're in the ship!
O'Brien: I knew it. You've been goldbricking all along.
Muniz: Like I said, you taught me everything I know.
O'Brien: Whatever this sensor was supposed to do, it did it and then shut down.
Dax: Probably a surveillance device to find out how many of us there are, how many weapons we have.
Sisko: I don't think so. They seem to know all that already.
Dax: It doesn't make sense. If he had a rifle, O'Brien and I would be dead. But all he had was a knife.
Worf: And why send only one Jem'Hadar?
Sisko: There's something about this ship. Something so important they won't risk destroying it in a full-on assault.
Worf: If that is true, then we must find out what it is.
Dax: Captain, the first thing we need to do is make a structural scan of the ship. Make our own blueprints.
Sisko: Get started.
Muniz: I'm leaking like a ruptured plasma conduit aren't I, sir?
O'Brien: It's not that bad.
Muniz: You're lying.
O'Brien: What makes you say that?
Muniz: I called you sir and you didn't even flinch. I must be dying.
O'Brien: Now you listen to me, Quique. You're not dying unless I say you're dying. And I say you're going to make it.
Sisko: How are you doing, Muniz?
Muniz: We seem to be having a difference of opinion on that one, sir. But I would like to file a complaint. The nurses around here are all thumbs.
O'Brien: You watch it or I'll tighten this bandage like a tourniquet.
Muniz: And as for bedside manner, I've known nicer voles. Certainly prettier ones.
O'Brien: You keep moving around, you won't need any nurse.
Sisko: Listen to the Chief, Muniz. Save your strength.
O'Brien: I'm worried about him, Captain. I can't stop the bleeding.
Sisko: Maybe it's a side effect of the Jem'Hadar weapons. They must leave some kind of anti-coagulant.
O'Brien: If I don't get him to a medical bay soon he's not going to make it.
Sisko: None of us are going to make it if we don't get this ship operational. I need to get the power grid functioning and the aft turret weapon online. You're the only one who can do that. I'll take care of Muniz.
O'Brien: Captain
Sisko: You have your orders.
O'Brien: Yes, sir.
Dax: Chief, structurally, a lot about this ship's design matches the other Jem'Hadar warships we've seen.
Worf: But there are significant differences. There are many systems that we are completely unfamiliar with.
O'Brien: I can start to restore power to the systems one at a time. That'll give us a chance to test them and establish their functions. But it's going to take a while.
Worf: How long?
O'Brien: I wish I knew.
Dax: Well, you can do it, Chief. I don't think a ship's been invented a ship that you can't figure out. Muniz is strong. He'll make it.
Worf: No, he will not. He will not see tomorrow.
O'Brien: You keep that to yourself. I don't want him to hear that kind of talk.
Worf: It does no good to shield him from the truth. Let him prepare for death.
O'Brien: The hell I will. His only hope is to keep fighting. If he gives up, it's over.
Worf: It was over the moment he was shot by the Jem'Hadar.
O'Brien: Now you listen to me. That boy's life is in our hands and I won't let anybody give up on him.
Dax: Worf, what do you say we go take a look at that ion exchange matrix we found. And on the way maybe we can discuss some of the finer points of diplomacy.
Kilana: Captain Sisko. Captain, you're annoyed with me. I understand. You feel betrayed, and with good reason. But I really think we should talk. If it will make you feel better, I'll come unarmed and without an escort but I won't hold you to the same restrictions.
Sisko: You have something to say, say it.
Kilana: Sending the Jem'Hadar into the ship was a mistake and I apologize. I trust no one was hurt? But what choice did I have? Just like you have to protect the lives of your men I have to protect our property. But I do hope we can put that behind us and move on.
Sisko: Move on to what?
Kilana: I'm sure it's obvious by now there's something on the ship we want. You allow me and my men to retrieve the item, we'll leave. You can keep the ship.
Sisko: How about this? You tell me what it is you want and I'll bring it out to you.
Kilana: I'm afraid I can't do that.
Sisko: Don't you trust me?
Kilana: I'd like to, Captain, But I can't. Not under these circumstances. There's simply too much at stake for us.
Sisko: We've got a lot at stake, too. I won't risk the lives of my crew.
Kilana: It seems we're approaching an impasse.
Sisko: We've already arrived.
Kilana: How unfortunate. Then negotiations have ended.
Dax: I take it things could have gone better.
O'Brien: All the ship's systems are shutting down, Captain.
Sisko: I need to know what's going on out there. Chief, get me some sensor readings. Dax, take care of Muniz.
Muniz: I can't feel my legs.
Dax: Don't worry, they're there.
O'Brien: I've managed to bypass the virtual display interface and hook up a tricorder to the ship's sensor array. Those are ultritium concussion shells they're detonating.
Dax: Without shields, a direct hit would destroy us.
Worf: I do not believe they're trying to hit us. Their targeting systems cannot be that ineffective.
O'Brien: They're trying to rattle us.
Sisko: And we're not going to let them do that. The Vorta doesn't want the ship, she wants something aboard it.
O'Brien: Any idea what?
Sisko: Could be anything. Encoding device, guidance system.
Dax: Maybe she lost an earring.
Sisko: Whatever it is, it's keeping us alive. Find it. Chief, I need that weapon.
O'Brien: I still have to charge the emitter arrays.
Sisko: Stay on it.
O'Brien: You have your weapon, sir.
Sisko: Nice work, Mister O'Brien.
O'Brien: But the bad news is, the turret is stuck. It can only fire in one direction.
Sisko: Maybe we'll get lucky and the Jem'Hadar will pick that place to stand.
O'Brien: Easy, Quique. There's nothing to be afraid of.
Muniz: I'm not afraid, Papa. It's beautiful. Precioso. Better than last year, don't you think? Los cuehetes, the fireworks of the carnival, they're terrific, aren't they?
O'Brien: Easy, Quique.
Muniz: The colors, like a thousand shooting stars. That was a good one.
O'Brien: Yeah, that was a good one.
Dax: I'll say one thing for the Jem'Hadar, they travel light. No cargo, no storage compartments. I did find these data crystals in one of the computer rooms. There may be some encoded information on them but the crystal structure has been randomized.
Sisko: In other words, they're blank.
Dax: As far as I can tell. It would help if we knew what we were looking for.
Sisko: But we don't.
Worf: Commander.
Dax: What is it?
Worf: It may have been the Vorta's computer console. I found it in one of the upper compartments, but the power grid is offline in that part of the ship.
Dax: So you ripped it out of the wall. Very nice. So what do we do with it now? Use it for a doorstop?
Worf: I do not care what you do with it.
Dax: Worf I was kidding. It was a good idea. We'll hook it up and see if we can get it working. You'd think they'd be tired of playing this game with us by now.
Worf: I have a game I would like to play with them. If only I could leave this prison and meet them face-to-face on a field of battle.
Dax: Right now that doesn't sound like a bad idea. Chief, could you take a look at that console?
Worf: That is no way for anyone to die.
O'Brien: I told you, he is not going to die.
Worf: It is only a matter of time.
O'Brien: So we might as well kill him, right?
Worf: If you truly are his friend, you would consider that option. It would be a more honorable death than the one he's enduring.
O'Brien: I'm not some bloodthirsty Klingon looking for an excuse to murder my friend.
Sisko: That's enough.
Worf: No. You're just another weak human afraid to face death.
Sisko: I said, that's enough! You're Starfleet officers. Now start acting like it!
Dax: Tough guys. A little pressure and they buckle.
Sisko: Dax! Maybe you haven't noticed, but no one's laughing. Now I know it's hot, we're filthy, tired, And we've got ten isotons of explosives going off outside, but we will never get out of this if we don't pull it together and start to act like professionals. Chief, I want that power grid up and running.
O'Brien: Aye, sir.
Sisko: Commander Worf, see if you can get that turret to rotate.
Worf: Aye, sir.
Sisko: Dax, search the ship again and again until you find what the Vorta wants.
Dax: Yes, sir.
Sisko: And you, Mister Muniz. Your orders are to stay alive. Captain's log, supplemental. The Jem'Hadar barrage has continued on and off for ten hours. Chief O'Brien has restored main power and helm control. If we can bring the ship's engines online we may be able to lift off and escape from here.
O'Brien: As soon as we finish calibrating the induction reactors, we can fire up the main core.
Sisko: Good. Because unless there are any objections, I'd like to get the hell off this planet.
O'Brien: I'm for that.
Dax: Ready, Chief.
O'Brien: I could use a couple more hours to fine tune the magnetic flux couplers but under the circumstances, now's as good a time as any.
Sisko: Then let's do it. Everyone brace yourselves. This is going to be a rough ride. Commence launch sequence.
Worf: Ion thrusters fully charged.
Sisko: Ventral impellers, one quarter.
Worf: Plasma compensators, online.
Sisko: Thrusters to one half.
Dax: Chief, I'm getting some low frequency resonance in the main reactor housing.
O'Brien: That's all right. Just keep compensating with the inertial dampers.
Dax: Dampers are at maximum.
Worf: We need more power.
Sisko: Ventral jets to one half.
Dax: It's working, captain. These engines just might shake us loose.
Sisko: Increase power to one half.
Dax: Main reactor housing destabilizing.
Worf: Reactor containment fields overloading.
O'Brien: Induction dampers disintegrating. Captain, if we don't cut power now we'll have a core breach.
Sisko: Disengage thrusters. Power down all systems.
Sisko: How bad?
O'Brien: Main power grid is completely fused. Structural integrity field has collapsed.
Sisko: We'll have to wait until the Defiant gets here. She'll be able to pull us out of here with a tractor beam. Which means we have thirty six hours to make repairs. You all know what to do.
O'Brien: I could really use your help now, Quique.
Sisko: I told Muniz he was going to make it.
Dax: That's what a captain's supposed to say.
Sisko: I have got to get this ship back to the station, old man. Five people have died on this mission. I want to be able to tell their families why.
Dax: Ben.
Sisko: It's a changeling.
Dax: It can't hold its shape. It's dying.
Sisko: Then we're in trouble. That's what the Vorta's been looking for, a Founder. No wonder the Jem'Hadar wouldn't attack.
Dax: They couldn't risk killing one of their gods.
Dax: The bombing's stopped.
Sisko: Prepare for an assault. Tell Worf to man the
Sisko: Where are your soldiers?
Kilana: They're dead. They killed themselves.
Dax: Why?
Sisko: Because they allowed a Founder to die.
Kilana: You should've trusted me.
Sisko: How could I? The first word out of your mouth was a lie. This isn't your first mission outside the Dominion, is it?
Kilana: I regret saying that, but my offer was genuine. All that mattered to me was the Founder.
Sisko: Then you should have told me about him.
Kilana: You might have killed him or made him a hostage.
Sisko: No. All I wanted was the ship.
Kilana: And I was willing to let you take it. So, this is how it ends.
Dax: It's true. The Jem'Hadar died by their own hands.
Sisko: Muniz, the runabout crew, your soldiers, they'd all still be alive if we had trusted each other.
Kilana: I have no way of stopping you from taking the ship. All I ask is that you allow me to remove some of the Founder's remains.
Sisko: Of course.
Kilana: Do you have any gods, Captain Sisko?
Sisko: There are things I believe in.
Kilana: Duty? Starfleet? The Federation? You must be pleased with yourself. You have the ship to take back to them. I hope it was worth it.
Sisko: So do I.
Dax: What did Starfleet have to say about our prize?
Sisko: They're pleased.
Dax: That's all? Just pleased?
Sisko: Very pleased. They're giving us all medals.
Dax: I'll add it to my collection.
Sisko: Starfleet Command is waiting for my official report, but every time I try to get it started, I find myself staring at the casualty list and reading the same five names over and over again. T'Lor, Rooney, Bertram, Hoya, Muniz.
Dax: It may sound cruel, but we both know that ship out there was worth it. Those five deaths may save five thousand lives, or maybe even five million.
Sisko: And if I had to make the same trade all over again, I would. But five people are dead. Fine men and women who deserved a lot more than to die on some lonely planet fifty thousand light years away from home. When you were at the Academy, was Professor Somak teaching?
Dax: Moral and ethical issues of command.
Sisko: I remember her favorite speech. Always maintain emotional distance between yourself and those under your command.
Dax: It's good advice.
Sisko: And I try to follow it. But it's a lot more complicated outside of the classroom. Did you know that Jake and Muniz have the same birthday? That I performed the ceremony at Hoya's wedding? And Rooney, he could play the trumpet. I heard him at Quark's once and he had the people dancing in the aisles.
Dax: I remember. And you know something else I remember about him? How proud he was to wear his uniform. And how proud he was to serve under you. The same as Hoya, T'Lor, Bertram and Muniz. They chose a life in Starfleet. They knew the risks and they died fighting for something that they believed in.
Sisko: That doesn't make it any easier.
Dax: Maybe nothing should.
O'Brien: We used a phase-conjugate graviton emitter in the tractor beam. That baby came out of the rock first time. You would've loved it, Quique
Worf: I did not mean to interrupt.
O'Brien: It's all right.
Worf: You are performing ak'voh for your friend.
O'Brien: I am?
Worf: Yes. It's an old Klingon tradition. When a warrior dies in battle, his comrades stay with the body to keep away predators. That allows the spirit to leave the body when it is ready for the long journey to Sto'Vo'Kor.
O'Brien: That's a fine tradition. What are you doing?
Worf: We will both keep the predators away.
O'Brien: I'm sure Quique would like that.


Quark: Doctor?
Bashir: Oh! Hello, Quark.
Quark: Let me guess. Eavesdropping on the battling O'Briens?
Bashir: Don't be ridiculous.
Quark: Such language. I hope Molly's not around.
Bashir: You can hear what they're saying in there?
Quark: How could I not?
Bashir: What are they saying?
Quark: Let's use a little diskretion, shall we? He's done something. She's outraged. He thinks she's overreacting. She thinks he's trying to run her life. Pretty boring actually, but to hear them you'd think it was a matter of life and death.
Keiko: Hello, Julian.
Bashir: Oh. Hello.
Keiko: Quark.
Quark: Mrs O'Brien.
Bashir: I thought you said the O'Briens were arguing in there.
Quark: Not Miles and Keiko. The other O'Briens, Miles and Kira.
Bashir: What do they have to argue about?
Quark: Miles hid Kira's springball racket because she's carrying his baby and he doesn't want her taking any risks, and she doesn't want him controlling her
Bashir: What?
Quark: Keiko made them stop. Now they're in the 'let's talk this out and share our feelings' part of the fight. Show's over.
Bashir: Oh, well. I mean, good.
Worf: It is the power of his voice, the strength of his intonation that make Barak-kadan a great singer. There are none like him.
Dax: None as boring anyway. He never varies his performance, by even a half-tone.
Worf: I prefer traditional opera performed in the traditional manner.
Dax: You know, for a Klingon who was raised by humans, wears a Starfleet uniform and drinks prune juice, you're pretty attached to tradition. But that's okay. I like a man riddled with contradictions. and her entourage come out of the airlock onto the Promenade.)
Dax: That's a welcome sight. The peace talks must be going well if the Klingons are back on the station. Worf?
Worf: Did you see her?
Dax: The Klingon woman?
Worf: She was glorious.
Dax: Her? She's okay.
Worf: I have never seen such a woman. Who is she? What house is she from? I do not recognize her family crest.
Worf: She's a friend of the Ferengi.
Dax: Now I remember who she is. Her name is Grilka. And she's not just Quark's friend. She's his ex-wife.
Quark: Maparian ale with just a hint of pazafer, as I recall.
Grilka: You remember. I'm honored.
Quark: How could I forget? You're the only Klingon I know who drinks something besides bloodwine, or prune juice.
Grilka: Prune juice?
Quark: Forget it. To the House of Grilka. May it continue to be as strong and proud as its lady is beautiful.
Grilka: You may not have been the ideal husband but you are an excellent bartender.
Quark: I know of no greater compliment. So, what brings you to my humble establishment? Business or pleasure?
Grilka: The recent hostilities between the Federation and the Empire have been very costly to my family. We have suffered great losses in ships, lands, warriors.
Quark: War. What is it good for? If you ask me, absolutely nothing.
Grilka: The financial cost was significant.
Quark: I have got an idea. Why don't I take a look at your financial records? I know that's not why you're here. I'm sure it's simply a social visit, but maybe I could help.
Grilka: Very well. If it pleases you, I will allow you access to the records.
Quark: Thank you.
Thopok: Hear this, Ferengi. Help Grilka and you live. Fail and I will kill you myself.
Dax: And even though it was an accident, Quark took credit for killing Grilka's husband.
Worf: Why?
Dax: As a way of boosting business at the bar. And it worked. But then Grilka kidnapped Quark and took him back to the Klingon Homeworld and married him.
Worf: Why?
Dax: I'm getting to that. As a woman, Grilka was forbidden to lead her House. By marrying Quark she was able to retain control through him. Eventually, she convinced the Council to give her control and she divorced Quark on the spot. As far as I know, that's the last time they saw each other.
Worf: A marriage of convenience.
Dax: Certainly for Grilka. I'm not sure how convenient it was for Quark.
Worf: His opinion is of no consequence. He is unworthy of such a prize as she.
Dax: Worf, it sounds like you have got a bad case of par'Mach.
Sisko: Is that contagious?
Dax: Par'Mach is the Klingon word for love, but with more aggressive overtones.
Sisko: Love? Worf?
Dax: Stranger things have happened.
Sisko: Especially around here.
Bashir: This should alleviate Kira's sneezing.
O'Brien: Should?
Bashir: Bajoran women have been sneezing their way through pregnancy for over a hundred thousand years. You can't expect me to cure it overnight. You know, I heard a rumor the Jerries may trying to cross the Channel this evening. Maybe we should have a surprise waiting for them.
Bashir: Serves you right.
O'Brien: I can't go to the holosuite tonight. Kira and I have some things to work out.
Bashir: Still fighting, huh?
O'Brien: Who said we were fighting?
Bashir: Word gets around. It's a small station.
O'Brien: It's a huge station.
Bashir: Obviously not huge enough.
O'Brien: Well, for your information, we're not fighting.
Bashir: Glad to hear it. Bajoran takeo herbs for Kira's swollen ankles. She'll need to dissolve them in some kind of fruit juice before ingesting them.
O'Brien: I hope they taste better than those makara herbs you gave her.
Bashir: Are you sampling all her medications?
O'Brien: No. Kira didn't like the taste. Oh by the way, I almost forgot. She er, she has a rash on the back of her thighs. Do you have a salve or something?
Bashir: How long has she had it?
O'Brien: Well, I noticed it yesterday when I was helping her out of the bathtub, so she's had it at least a day.
Bashir: Helping her out of the tub?
O'Brien: She's living in my house. She's having my baby.
Bashir: So did you look?
O'Brien: What? Oh, please. I was holding a towel up in front of her.
Bashir: How does Keiko feel about you helping Kira out of the tub?
O'Brien: Keiko feels fine about it. You see, we are adults. We've developed a close, mature relationship.
Bashir: I'm sure that Keiko and Kira have. But you?
O'Brien: What about me?
Bashir: I bet you looked.
Worf: I will apologize for this at another time. You are in my seat!
Worf: Bartender! Bloodwine! What is that smell? Is there a pile of rotting forshak in here?
Worf: Or is it you. Stand when I talk to you. Do you think it is funny?
Tumek: Mev'Yap! Worf, Son of Mogh. Come, join me.
Tumek: Challenging Thopok to a fight is a waste of time. Grilka cannot mate with you, now or ever. Your House is dishonored. Your name is a curse.
Worf: I meant no disrespect.
Tumek: You showed none. I'm sure your motives were honorable. Do not let it trouble you too much. In truth, I doubt it would've been a good match.
Worf: Why?
Tumek: Have you ever pursued a Klingon woman?
Worf: No.
Tumek: There's no shame in that. You were raised by Humans, you wear their uniform, you accept their values. How could you know anything about our women?
Worf: You'd be surprised what I know.
Tumek: Perhaps. But we will not find out here. It is the wish of the Lady Grilka that you leave us now, son of Mogh, and do not return.
Worf: I am a fool.
Dax: You're in love. Which I suppose is the same thing. You're making too much out of this, Worf. Tumek said Grilka wasn't offended. She was probably flattered.
Worf: There is no flattery in a great lady being courted by a traitor.
Dax: Is that what's really bothering you? Or is it that Tumek said that you didn't know anything about Klingon women, and you're afraid he's right?
Worf: What do you want?
Quark: I want to talk to Dax if that's all right with you. I need help. Grilka invited me to dinner and I need to brush up on Klingon manners and protocol and all that.
Worf: She invited you to dinner?
Quark: In her quarters. A private dinner. A very private dinner.
Quark: What's wrong with him?
Dax: He's having a bad day.
Quark: That's a shame. Well, when Grilka and I were married there wasn't a lot of affection involved. So what does a Klingon woman expect from a man? Are there any secret Klingon phrases I should know, or do we just leap on each other like a pair of crazed voles?
Dax: Quark, Klingon mating rituals are very involved. It's not just a one night affair.
Quark: Two nights. Whatever. Look, I'm serious. Grilka and I, we have something. I'm not sure what, but I want to pursue it.
Dax: For sex?
Quark: No. Well, that too. But there's more. She's glorious.
Dax: So I hear. Look, if you're serious about this, then you have to go slow at dinner. No innuendo, no staring at her cleavage.
Quark: So what do I do?
Dax: You talk. You ask her about her family's history and their accomplishments. She'll consider this a great sign of respect.
Quark: Respect? Okay, okay, I can do that. Anything else?
Worf: Grilka is from the Mekro'vak region. It is customary among her people that the man to bring a leg of a lingta to the first courtship dinner. Make sure it's fresh, as if you had just killed it. Then use the leg to sweep aside everything on the table and declare in a loud voice, 'I have brought you this. From this day, I wish to provide food for you and your House. All I ask is to share your company and do honor to your name.'
Quark: Then what?
Dax: Well, either she accepts your offer or she has her bodyguard shatter every bone in your body.
Quark: Sounds reasonable.
Kira: Did your father just sit you down one day and say, right, Miles, it's time to teach you about massaging pregnant women.'
O'Brien: It's an O'Brien survival technique. My mother hated being pregnant. My father's massages were the only things that kept her from killing everyone.
Kira: Sounds like me.
O'Brien: Pretty much. She didn't swear in Bajoran but she did like to use what she called descriptive phrases.
Kira: Are those my uniforms?
Keiko: Garak finished the alterations and sent these along. He guarantees the insoles will help your feet.
Kira: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Keiko: That wasn't very convincing. I think she's actually enjoying it, Miles. You'd better press harder if you want her to suffer.
O'Brien: Harder it is.
Kira: Ow. You're a sadist, Miles Edward O'Brien. Was your father this cruel to your mother?
O'Brien: Worse. I'd swear sometimes you'd hear her screams halfway across Ireland. The neighbors didn't know whether to be worried or titillated.
Kira: Here. You miss Ireland?
O'Brien: You know, if you'd asked me that a year ago, I would have said no. But lately, I don't know why, I've been daydreaming about home. Maybe I'm getting nostalgic in my old age.
Kira: You've got leave coming. Take three weeks and go.
O'Brien: If I left, who'd give you foot massages?
Kira: Take me along. I can think of worse things than spending three weeks in Ireland with you.
O'Brien: Me too.
Keiko: Don't stop on my account.
O'Brien: Oh. Right.
Female: BOOOOW-cha-daaay WORF +
Male: KEEEY-cha-daaay
Female: Me-YO-ca-BEEN-evaaa-kaa-MOOOOR WORF +
Male: LIIING-tomaaa
Female: Oh-ma-do-VEE-kos ZOOOOOOO! WORF +
Male: Oh-ma-do-VEE-ko ZOOOOOOO!
Quark: Ahem.
Quark: I'm not going to ask. Look, I came here to thank you for last night. Grilka loved it. All of it. Everything I did, everything I said it was perfect.
Worf: So, I don't know anything about Klingon women.
Quark: She said I had the heart of a Basai Master, whatever that is.
Worf: It is a poet.
Quark: A poet? I guess I can live with that.
Worf: What else happened?
Quark: She spent about an hour talking about her family history. A rather long and bloody tale, but what else is new? Then we ate the lingta, which tasted really bad, listened to some noise which she called Klingon music, and I left.
Worf: A perfect evening.
Quark: Almost. Her bodyguard was giving me threatening looks all night.
Worf: That is to be expected. The idea of a Ferengi courting a great lady is offensive.
Quark: You know, it's attitudes like that that keep you people from getting invited to all the really good parties.
Worf: The heart of a Basai Master. She said that?
Quark: Could I make that up? I'm telling you, Worf, she responded perfectly. You really have the key to this woman's heart. The question is, can you help me unlock it?
Worf: Yes. I can. We have work to do.
Dax: Quark!
Dax: MoVas ah-kee rustak!
Worf: Kosh tomah.
Quark: Kosh tomoh I mean tomah ehpaq Lukara kaVeir.
Dax: Ish-tovee chuCH thling nuq?
Quark: Besh besh-opar gree uchan argh. Besh opar gee urchun omaH te, te, te-doQ maugh-shta.
Worf: Enough. You say the words, but there is no feeling behind them, no passion.
Quark: Having to learn all this Klingonese isn't helping my performance.
Worf: Do not think of it as a performance. Believe in where you are. Put yourself in this time, in this place. A thousand years ago, the dawn of the Empire, five hundred warriors storm the Great Hall at Qam-Chee. The city garrison fled before them. Only the Emperor Kahless and the Lady Lukara stood their ground. It was here that they began the greatest romance in Klingon history.
Quark: This is ridiculous! I'm surrounded by corpses, my shoes are dripping with blood, and you want me to feel romantic? Why am I putting myself through this?
Dax: Because later that night, Kahless and Lukara jumped on each other like a pair of crazed voles. Grrr.
Quark: Yeah? One more time.
Odo: This is the fourth theft of equipment from upper pylon three this month.
Kira: I don't know how they keep doing it. We've changed the security protocols three times now.
Odo: It's not the security arrangements that are at fault here. It's our friend the Chief of Operations.
Kira: Miles? What did he do?
Odo: It's what he's not doing. He still hasn't finished upgrading the structural integrity field on upper pylon three, so half the bulkheads are torn open. A child could find a way into those cargo bays.
Kira: Look, Miles is a very busy man. He can't be everywhere at once.
Odo: Sometimes it seems as though he's not anywhere at all.
Kira: He's doing a superb job under very difficult circumstances.
Odo: Oh. Growing fond of the Chief, are we?
Kira: What are you talking about? I've always liked Miles.
Odo: You've always liked the Chief, but Miles is a different story.
Kira: Look, I am living with him. I am carrying his baby. Don't you think that might change things a bit?
Odo: How so?
Kira: We're closer. It's like I'm part of his family.
Odo: Which part?
Kira: What?
Odo: Which part of his family are you? Sister? Daughter? Cousin?
Kira: Could we concentrate on the criminal activities report?
Odo: Of course. And I'll refrain from making any further disparaging remarks about the Chief. I mean, Miles.
Thopok: This consorting with a Ferengi is outrageous!
Tumek: You forget yourself, Thopok. You are the commander of the Lady's guard, nothing more. Do not presume to judge her.
Grilka: Tumek. Maparian ale for two.
Tumek: Mistress.
Grilka: You are an interesting man.
Quark: I've always thought so.
Grilka: Not much of a fighter, of course. Fortunately for you they were only holo-warriors.
Quark: Well, it's the thought that counts.
Grilka: Yes, it is. And what are your thoughts, Quark? Why play out one of the most romantic scenes in Klingon literature for me? Why learn to speak Klingon and observe our customs? Why do you pursue me?
Quark: I only pursue those things I wish to acquire.
Grilka: Acquire? Now you sound like a Ferengi again.
Quark: I am a Ferengi. That means I have a talent for appreciating objects of great value. And I believe you may be worth more than all the latinum in the quadrant.
Grilka: My Kahless.
Quark: My Lukara.
Thopok: No!
Grilka: Mev'Yap Thopok!
Thopok: Forgive me, mistress, but I cannot watch this any longer. I will not protect a House where you are welcome, Ferengi. You are a coward and a liar and you have no honor. So tomorrow you will kill me, or I will kill you.
Keiko: Home two hours early? You'd better watch it. I'll get used to this.
O'Brien: Yep, they don't need me anymore. Home at seventeen hundred every evening.
Keiko: You're such a bad liar.
Kira: Hi.
Keiko: Hi. Sit down. You look exhausted. Bad day? Miles, I think this woman needs one of your famous neck massages.
O'Brien: Er, my hands are pretty cold.
Kira: I'm not in the mood anyway.
Keiko: I can see the tension in your muscles from here.
Kira: No thanks, really. Oh. I'm going to Bajor tomorrow, just for a few days.
Keiko: Bajor?
Kira: Yes. I thought I'd take the time and relax. A friend of mine has a house in Musilla Province. It's quiet, remote. No distractions.
O'Brien: Perfect. When do you leave?
Kira: First thing in the morning.
Keiko: Wait a minute. You can't go alone. What if you go into labor?
Kira: Well, Julian doesn't think that's going to happen for another month.
Keiko: But he doesn't know for sure. Miles, maybe you should go with her.
O'Brien: What?
Keiko: I can't go. I have a botanical pathology seminar tomorrow. But you said yourself things are slow in Ops.
Kira: I don't think that's such a good idea.
O'Brien: Me neither.
Keiko: Miles Edward O'Brien, are you going to let the woman carrying your unborn child go on a trip all by herself?
Keiko: Are you two fighting again?
O'Brien: No.
Kira: Not at all.
Keiko: Good. Then it's settled. Miles, let's pack your bag.
Quark: What if I just do what I did the last time a Klingon wanted to kill me? I throw my sword away, kneel down in front of him and dare him to execute me. Yeah. He'll be humiliated and slink away like a scalded targ.
Worf: The only reason that worked was because Gowron stepped in and restrained your opponent before he was able to kill you. No one will stop Thopok. Dax and I aren't even able to attend.
Quark: So my choices are to not show up, be branded a coward and lose Grilka, or die?
Worf: Yes.
Quark: Oh, come on now! There has to be another way out of this! You people have rituals for everything except waste extraction. You must have a ceremony or a secret handshake or something I can do.
Dax: I have an idea.
Dax: Oh, congratulations. How do you feel?
Quark: Like a puppet. And I have some complaints for the puppeteer. You nearly wrenched my arm out of its socket.
Worf: The movement would not have hurt if you were in better physical condition.
Quark: Exercise makes me sweat.
Dax: You need to get some sleep.
Dax: If your body's tired tomorrow, Worf won't even be able to save you.
Quark: Bedtime.
Worf: I cannot believe the lengths I am going to for that Ferengi. I'm practically giving him Grilka.
Dax: What is it you see in her, anyway? I mean, she's attractive, but other than that?
Worf: It is everything about her. The way she carries herself, confident and strong. She commands those around her. The proud tilt of her head. The way her face betrays none of her true feelings. The power of her voice. And her eyes, as hard as separ gemstones and twice as sharp.
Dax: It sounds like you're describing a statue. What would you do with a woman like that? Put her up on a pedestal and clean her every week?
Worf: You do not understand.
Dax: If I were in your shoes, I would be looking for someone a little more entertaining, a little more fun, and maybe even a little more attainable.
Worf: You are not in my shoes.
Dax: Too bad. You'd be amazed at what I can do in a pair of size eighteen boots.
Dax: He's in position.
Tumek: Quark, son of Keldar, why are you here?
Quark: To, to answer the
Quark: To answer the Challenge of Thopok, to prove my honor, and to win the favor of the Lady Grilka.
Tumek: The challenge has been given and accepted. Let no one interfere. Mok!
Thopok: Where did you learn to fight with a bat'leth?
Quark: I'm a man of many talents.
Quark: No! Wait!
Dax: You damaged the optronic relay.
Worf: Can you repair it?
Dax: I don't know.
Thopok: Well?
Quark: I claim the Right of Proclamation.
Tumek: I've never heard of the Right of Proclamation.
Quark: It is a Ferengi custom.
Thopok: It has no place here!
Quark: I beg to differ! I am as proud of my heritage as you are of yours and I will not be denied the opportunity to express myself according to Ferengi custom.
Grilka: He has shown respect to our traditions. We will do the same. What do you need to do?
Quark: I must make a speech.
Grilka: About what?
Quark: About you!
Thopok: Get on with it.
Worf: I do not know how, but he is still alive. You must work faster.
Dax: I'm going as fast as I can.
Quark: To this end my blade soars through the aquarium of my soul, seeking the kelp of diskontent which must be cut so that the rocky bottom of love lie in waiting with fertile sand for the coming seed of Grilka's affection. And yet, does this explain my need for her? No. It is like a giant cave of emptiness waiting for the bats of love to hang by
Quark: Well, I guess that's enough talking . Now back to the fighting.
Dax: No showing off this time, Worf. Just get it over with.
Worf: I was not showing off.
Thopok: End it!
Quark: If you insist.
Quark: Maybe not. Maybe I'll pick up your sword.
Quark: And give it to you I guess.
Grilka: Thopok, your honor is satisfied. I return your weapon and diskharge you from my House.
Tumek: My lady.
Grilka: Do-MACH ah chee ghos eh-PAGH?
Dax: Congratulations. You did it.
Worf: What does she see in that parasite?
Dax: Who knows? But they're on the same wavelength, and at least Quark can see an opportunity when it's standing in front of him.
Worf: He would have to be blind not to see it.
Dax: MoVas ah-kee rustak. Computer, bat'leth. MoVas ah-kee rustak!
Worf: Kosh tomah ehpaq Lukara kaVeir.
Dax: Ish-tovee chuCH thling nuq?
Worf: Meklo boH ka Mech.
Dax: Te-doQ roos ka Mech-TOH.
O'Brien: So I guess we're going.
Kira: Looks like it.
O'Brien: Tell me about this house we're going to.
Kira: It's a gorgeous two hundred year old cottage filled with antiques, sitting in the middle of a deep, dark forest. It's got three fireplaces, two balconies
O'Brien: I see.
Kira: It's twenty kilometers to the nearest neighbor, thirty to the nearest town.
O'Brien: Why am I not surprised?
Kira: It gets worse. There's a view.
O'Brien: Of what?
Kira: Of the Holana river. You can see it from every room in the house. At night, when the stars are out and you can only hear rushing water, it may be one of the most romantic spots in all of Bajor.
O'Brien: That's it. I'm not going. I don't care what Keiko says, I'm not going. You go. I'll wait an hour and then I'll, I'll tell her that you left without me, that there was a miscommunication about the departure time.
Kira: You think she'll buy it?
O'Brien: She'll probably accuse us of having another fight, of behaving like children, but I can handle that. The important thing is that we don't go anywhere near that place together.
Kira: You're absolutely right. In fact, I'm going to go to the capital and see Shakaar.
O'Brien: That's the best idea you've had all week.
O'Brien: Have a good trip.
Kira: Thanks.
O'Brien: It would've been nice.
Kira: In another life.
O'Brien: Let's not even think about it.
Kira: All right, let's not. Miles?
O'Brien: Yes, Nerys?
Kira: Get out.
O'Brien: Right.
Bashir: A compound fracture of the right radius, two fractured ribs, torn ligaments, strained tendons, numerous contusions, bruises and scratches. What have you been doing?
Quark: You mean, what have we been doing?
Bashir: Never mind. I don't need that particular image running around in my head. I'll just treat you.
Bashir: What happened to you two?
Worf: We, er.
Dax: Well, er, if you must know
Bashir: No! No, er, I don't need that image either. In fact, I'm going to stop asking that question altogether. People can come in, I will treat them, and that's all. Please, have a seat. I'll be with you in a minute.
Worf: You do realize that according to Klingon tradition
Dax: According to tradition, we have to get married.
Worf: But as you keep insisting, you are not a traditional woman.
Dax: The truth is, Worf, at heart, you're not much of a traditional man.
Worf: You might be right. How do you wish to proceed?
Dax: I don't know.
Worf: You must have some idea. You were the
Dax: Aggressor?
Worf: Yes. And now there are questions that must be answered.
Dax: I don't feel like answering questions. Why don't we just take it one day at a time and see what happens?
Worf: I do not like the uncertainty of that arrangement.
Dax: One thing's for certain. You've stopped thinking about Grilka.