Prarabdha/Rick_and_Morty_Transcript · Datasets at Hugging Face

Unnamed: 0 int64 0 9.62k	episode no. int64 1 51	speaker stringclasses 976 values	dialouge stringlengths 1 1.81k
1,000	4	Prince Nebulon:	laughing Oh my god, Rick. How dumb are you? You're inside a simulation of a simulation…inside another giant simulation! laughs harder W-we never had the recipe for concentrated dark matter. But we do now! We do now, sucka!
1,001	4	Rick:	You simulated my grandson's genitalia?! Y-y-you bunch of diabolical sons of bitches!
1,002	4	Zigerion 1:	Kevin fought real hard to supervise that project.
1,003	4	Kevin:	You said you weren't gonna tell anyone! I'm never gonna live this down, am I?
1,004	4	Rick:	All right. Okay. All right, great. Wonderful. You win. Can we go home now?
1,005	4	Zigerion 1:	I don't know. Can you?
1,006	4	Prince Nebulon:	Ha! fist bumps Nice. Okay, okay. Show this gullible turd to his shuttle. I'm done with him. Oh, wait. Let me get a picture. snaps a selfie of himself with Rick Aww. Look at his face. He's trying to figure out if He's in a simulation still. Are you, Rick? Are you? laughs, walks away You're not. walks back Or are you? (Rick and Jerry leave.) shouts after them Oh, a-and, by the way, I don't have discolored butthole flaps. That was part of the simulation.
1,007	4	Cynthia:	Oh. Uh, sir, should I cancel that appointment, then?
1,008	4	Prince Nebulon:	loudly Yeah! Of course you should! to Cynthia No, keep it. Move it up, actually, if you can.
1,009	4	Rick:	Hey, Jerry, don't worry about it. So what if the most meaningful day of your life was a simulation operating at minimum capacity?
1,010	4	Jerry:	You know what, Rick? Those guys took you for a ride, too. You should try having a little respect for the dummies of the universe, now that you're one of us.
1,011	4	Rick:	Maybe you're right, Jerry. Maybe you're right.
1,012	4	Prince Nebulon:	All right, everybody. Two parts Plutonic quarks… One part cesium…. A-and listen, I’m sorry for shouting earlier. I-I couldn't ask for a better staff. I love you guys, and I love all your families. readies water bottle And the final ingredient…
1,013	4	Jerry:	Whoa! What the hell?! W-what happened back there?
1,014	4	Rick:	Why don't you ask the smartest people in the universe, Jerry? Oh, yeah. You can't. They blew up.
1,015	4	Jerry:	So… What do you think?
1,016	4	Mr. Marklevitz:	You're fired.
1,017	4	Jerry:	Wha--? But t-this idea was tested in a state-of-the-art simulation.
1,018	4	Mr. Marklevitz:	Well, then, it was a terrible simulation. Get out.
1,019	4	Mr. Marklevitz:	Man, how does a guy like that go home and have sex with his wife?
1,020	4	Rick:	Hey, Morty.
1,021	4	Morty:	What?
1,022	4	Rick:	Hey, little buddy. H-h-how you doing in here right now?
1,023	4	Morty:	Aw, geez, Rick. What are you doing, man?
1,024	4	Rick:	Y-y-you're a good kid, Morty. Y-you're a real l-little c-character, Morty.
1,025	4	Morty:	Oh, boy.
1,026	4	Rick:	You know, I had a really rocky road today, M-Morty. You're my little friend, aren't you? We had some good times together, huh, M-Morty? We You're a real true hero out in the field. You're a... You're a real trouper, huh, M-M-Morty?
1,027	4	Morty:	Have you been drinking, Rick?
1,028	4	Rick:	I really appreciate you, Morty.
1,029	4	Morty:	O-okay, cool. A-alright, Rick
1,030	4	Rick:	suddenly aggressive, holds a knife to Morty’s throat You little son of a bitch! Y-y- are you a simulation?! Huh?! Are you a simulation?!
1,031	4	Morty:	No! No! No!
1,032	4	Rick:	You little son of a bitch!
1,033	4	Morty:	terrified, gasps
1,034	4	Rick:	I-I-I’m sorry, Morty. Y-you're a good… You're a good kid, Morty.
1,035	4	Morty:	Geez!
1,036	4	Rick:	Y-you're a good… You're a good kid. passes out
1,037	4	Morty:	Oh my god!
1,038	4	Rick:	snores
1,039	4	Morty:	W-w-what the hell? What a life.
1,040	5	Rick:	Run!
1,041	5	Jerry, Beth, and	Summer:
1,042	5	Rick:	Morty, do it! Hit the button now!
1,043	5	Morty:	I can’t do it, Rick! They’re my parents and sister!
1,044	5	Rick:	holding off the clones Morty, I already told you, it’s not your family! They’re clones from an alternate reality possessed by demonic alien spirits from another dimension’s future! Do you need a mnemonic device or something? Just hit the button already!
1,045	5	Beth:	Morty, please. I love you, sweetheart.
1,046	5	Morty:	Ohhhh…
1,047	5	Rick:	Good work, Morty.
1,048	5	Rick:	holding up the device and smiling Y-You know, these demonic alien spirits are really valuable!
1,049	5	Rick:	You okay, Morty? Told you not to trust that tuna.
1,050	5	Morty:	I just killed my family! I don’t care what they were!
1,051	5	Rick:	I dunno, Morty. Some people would pay top dollar for that kinda breakthrough.
1,052	5	Morty:	Y-You know what, Rick? That’s it! I-I’m done with these…insane adventures! That was really traumatizing! I quit! I’m out!
1,053	5	Rick:	Whoa whoa whoa, grabs Morty’s shoulder, stopping him come on, Morty! D-D-Don’t be like that! The universe is a crazy and chaotic place!
1,054	5	Morty:	pushes Rick’s hands away You’re the one that’s crazy and chaotic! Adventures are supposed to be simple! And fun!
1,055	5	Rick:	Oh yeah, Morty. Yeah, t-t-that- that’s real easy to say from the sidekick position. But—But, uh, h-how about next time you be in charge, then we’ll talk about how simple and fun it is.
1,056	5	Morty:	suddenly excited Seriously Rick?! Y-You’ll let me call the shots?
1,057	5	Rick:	Okay, fine. But let’s make it interesting, Morty. I-I-If your adventure sucks, and we bail halfway through it, you lose the right to bitch about all future adventures. Plus, you have to do my laundry for a month.
1,058	5	Morty	: Okay, all right, tough guy! But if my adventure's good... I get to be in charge of every third adventure!
1,059	5	Rick	: Every 10th.
1,060	5	Morty	: Deal. All right. Well, come on, let's get going.
1,061	5	Beth	: Dad, the dishwasher's doing that thing again.
1,062	5	Rick	: Washing dishes?
1,063	5	Beth	: No. The opposite. Can you fix it?
1,064	5	Summer	: Grandpa Rick, can you help me with my science homework?
1,065	5	Rick	: Yeah just don't do it.
1,066	5	Summer	: Grandpa!
1,067	5	Jerry:	Hey, Rick, you got some kind of hand-shaped device that can open this mayonnaise jar?
1,068	5	Rick:	Wow. Hat trick. All right, Morty, let's put a pin in this. I got to help your pathetic family.
1,069	5	Morty:	Oh, that sounds like something a chicken would say. Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk.
1,070	5	Rick:	Oh, Morty, you done did it this time. It's on. I can't wait to watch your adventure lay a huge fart. As for you dingdongs... This is a Meeseeks box. Let me show you how it works. You press this.
1,071	5	Meeseeks:	I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
1,072	5	Rick:	You make a request. Mr. Meeseeks, open Jerry's stupid mayonnaise jar.
1,073	5	Meeseeks:	Yes, siree!
1,074	5	Rick:	The Meeseeks fulfills the request.
1,075	5	Meeseeks:	All done!
1,076	5	Jerry:	[amazed] Wow!
1,077	5	Rick:	And then it stops existing.
1,078	5	Summer:	Oh, my God, he exploded!
1,079	5	Rick:	Trust me, they're fine with it. Knock yourselves out just keep your requests simple. They're not gods.
1,080	5	Morty:	All right! Get out of here now! Everybody out of here! I got a bet to win!
1,081	5	Beth:	So many possibilities.
1,082	5	Summer	: My mind is racing.
1,083	5	Jerry	: If we're gonna use this thing, which I'm not even sure we should, we need to keep it simple.
1,084	5	Meeseeks	: I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
1,085	5	Summer	: I want to be popular at school!
1,086	5	Meeseeks	: Ooh, okay!
1,087	5	Jerry	: Summer, what did I just-
1,088	5	Meeseeks 2	: Ooh, I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
1,089	5	Beth	: I want I want to be a more complete woman!
1,090	5	Jerry	: Beth!
1,091	5	Meeseeks 2	: Oh, yeah! Yes, ma'am!
1,092	5	Jerry	: You guys are doing it wrong. He said "simple."
1,093	5	Meeseeks 3	: Hey, there. I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
1,094	5	Jerry	: Mr. Meeseeks, I would like to take two strokes off my golf game.
1,095	5	Meeseeks 3	: Ooh, yeah! Can do!
1,096	5	Jerry	: Nailed it.
1,097	5	Rick	: God, Morty, what a boring start to an adventure. Why didn't we just go to Kentucky?
1,098	5	Morty	: Rick, this is a fantasy-type world with creatures and all sorts of fantasy things. We're going on a quest, okay?
1,099	5	Rick	: Can't wait.

1,000

4

Prince Nebulon:

*laughing* Oh my god, Rick. How dumb are you? You're inside a simulation of a simulation…inside another giant simulation! *laughs harder* W-we never had the recipe for concentrated dark matter. But we do now! We do now, sucka!

1,001

4

Rick:

You simulated my grandson's genitalia?! Y-y-you bunch of diabolical sons of bitches!

1,002

4

Zigerion 1:

Kevin fought real hard to supervise that project.

1,003

4

Kevin:

You said you weren't gonna tell anyone! I'm never gonna live this down, am I?

1,004

4

Rick:

All right. Okay. All right, great. Wonderful. You win. Can we go home now?

1,005

4

Zigerion 1:

I don't know. Can you?

1,006

4

Prince Nebulon:

Ha! *fist bumps* Nice. Okay, okay. Show this gullible turd to his shuttle. I'm done with him. Oh, wait. Let me get a picture. *snaps a selfie of himself with Rick* Aww. Look at his face. He's trying to figure out if He's in a simulation still. Are you, Rick? Are you? *laughs, walks away* You're not. *walks back* Or are you? (Rick and Jerry leave.) *shouts after them* Oh, a-and, by the way, I don't have discolored butthole flaps. That was part of the simulation.

1,007

4

Cynthia:

Oh. Uh, sir, should I cancel that appointment, then?

1,008

4

Prince Nebulon:

*loudly* Yeah! Of course you should! *to Cynthia* No, keep it. Move it up, actually, if you can.

1,009

4

Rick:

Hey, Jerry, don't worry about it. So what if the most meaningful day of your life was a simulation operating at minimum capacity?

1,010

4

Jerry:

You know what, Rick? Those guys took you for a ride, too. You should try having a little respect for the dummies of the universe, now that you're one of us.

1,011

4

Rick:

Maybe you're right, Jerry. Maybe you're right.

1,012

4

Prince Nebulon:

All right, everybody. Two parts Plutonic quarks… One part cesium…. A-and listen, I’m sorry for shouting earlier. I-I couldn't ask for a better staff. I love you guys, and I love all your families. *readies water bottle* And the final ingredient…

1,013

4

Jerry:

Whoa! What the hell?! W-what happened back there?

1,014

4

Rick:

Why don't you ask the smartest people in the universe, Jerry? Oh, yeah. You can't. They blew up.

1,015

4

Jerry:

So… What do you think?

1,016

4

Mr. Marklevitz:

You're fired.

1,017

4

Jerry:

Wha--? But t-this idea was tested in a state-of-the-art simulation.

1,018

4

Mr. Marklevitz:

Well, then, it was a terrible simulation. Get out.

1,019

4

Mr. Marklevitz:

Man, how does a guy like that go home and have sex with his wife?

1,020

4

Rick:

Hey, Morty.

1,021

4

Morty:

What?

1,022

4

Rick:

Hey, little buddy. H-h-how you doing in here right now?

1,023

4

Morty:

Aw, geez, Rick. What are you doing, man?

1,024

4

Rick:

Y-y-you're a good kid, Morty. Y-you're a real l-little c-character, Morty.

1,025

4

Morty:

Oh, boy.

1,026

4

Rick:

You know, I had a really rocky road today, M-Morty. You're my little friend, aren't you? We had some good times together, huh, M-Morty? We You're a real true hero out in the field. You're a... You're a real trouper, huh, M-M-Morty?

1,027

4

Morty:

Have you been drinking, Rick?

1,028

4

Rick:

I really appreciate you, Morty.

1,029

4

Morty:

O-okay, cool. A-alright, Rick

1,030

4

Rick:

*suddenly aggressive, holds a knife to Morty’s throat* You little son of a bitch! Y-y- are you a simulation?! Huh?! Are you a simulation?!

1,031

4

Morty:

No! No! No!

1,032

4

Rick:

You little son of a bitch!

1,033

4

Morty:

*terrified, gasps*

1,034

4

Rick:

I-I-I’m sorry, Morty. Y-you're a good… You're a good kid, Morty.

1,035

4

Morty:

Geez!

1,036

4

Rick:

Y-you're a good… You're a good kid. *passes out*

1,037

4

Morty:

Oh my god!

1,038

4

Rick:

*snores*

1,039

4

Morty:

W-w-what the hell? What a life.

1,040

5

Rick:

Run!

1,041

5

Jerry, Beth, and

Summer:

1,042

5

Rick:

Morty, do it! Hit the button now!

1,043

5

Morty:

I can’t do it, Rick! They’re my parents and sister!

1,044

5

Rick:

*holding off the clones* Morty, I already told you, it’s not your family! They’re clones from an alternate reality possessed by demonic alien spirits from another dimension’s future! Do you need a mnemonic device or something? Just hit the button already!

1,045

5

Beth:

Morty, please. I love you, sweetheart.

1,046

5

Morty:

Ohhhh…

1,047

5

Rick:

Good work, Morty.

1,048

5

Rick:

*holding up the device and smiling* Y-You know, these demonic alien spirits are really valuable!

1,049

5

Rick:

You okay, Morty? Told you not to trust that tuna.

1,050

5

Morty:

I just killed my family! I don’t care what they were!

1,051

5

Rick:

I dunno, Morty. Some people would pay top dollar for that kinda breakthrough.

1,052

5

Morty:

Y-You know what, Rick? That’s it! I-I’m done with these…insane adventures! That was really traumatizing! I quit! I’m out!

1,053

5

Rick:

Whoa whoa whoa, *grabs Morty’s shoulder, stopping him* come on, Morty! D-D-Don’t be like that! The universe is a crazy and chaotic place!

1,054

5

Morty:

*pushes Rick’s hands away* You’re the one that’s crazy and chaotic! Adventures are supposed to be simple! And fun!

1,055

5

Rick:

Oh yeah, Morty. Yeah, t-t-that- that’s real easy to say from the sidekick position. But—But, uh, h-how about next time you be in charge, then we’ll talk about how simple and fun it is.

1,056

5

Morty:

*suddenly excited* Seriously Rick?! Y-You’ll let me call the shots?

1,057

5

Rick:

Okay, fine. But let’s make it interesting, Morty. I-I-If your adventure sucks, and we bail halfway through it, you lose the right to bitch about all future adventures. Plus, you have to do my laundry for a month.

1,058

5

Morty

: Okay, all right, tough guy! But if my adventure's good... I get to be in charge of every third adventure!

1,059

5

Rick

: Every 10th.

1,060

5

Morty

: Deal. All right. Well, come on, let's get going.

1,061

5

Beth

: Dad, the dishwasher's doing that thing again.

1,062

5

Rick

: Washing dishes?

1,063

5

Beth

: No. The opposite. Can you fix it?

1,064

5

Summer

: Grandpa Rick, can you help me with my science homework?

1,065

5

Rick

: Yeah just don't do it.

1,066

5

Summer

: Grandpa!

1,067

5

Jerry:

Hey, Rick, you got some kind of hand-shaped device that can open this mayonnaise jar?

1,068

5

Rick:

Wow. Hat trick. All right, Morty, let's put a pin in this. I got to help your pathetic family.

1,069

5

Morty:

Oh, that sounds like something a chicken would say. Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk.

1,070

5

Rick:

Oh, Morty, you done did it this time. It's on. I can't wait to watch your adventure lay a huge fart. As for you dingdongs... This is a Meeseeks box. Let me show you how it works. You press this.

1,071

5

Meeseeks:

I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!

1,072

5

Rick:

You make a request. Mr. Meeseeks, open Jerry's stupid mayonnaise jar.

1,073

5

Meeseeks:

Yes, siree!

1,074

5

Rick:

The Meeseeks fulfills the request.

1,075

5

Meeseeks:

All done!

1,076

5

Jerry:

[amazed] Wow!

1,077

5

Rick:

And then it stops existing.

1,078

5

Summer:

Oh, my God, he exploded!

1,079

5

Rick:

Trust me, they're fine with it. Knock yourselves out just keep your requests simple. They're not gods.

1,080

5

Morty:

All right! Get out of here now! Everybody out of here! I got a bet to win!

1,081

5

Beth:

So many possibilities.

1,082

5

Summer

: My mind is racing.

1,083

5

Jerry

: If we're gonna use this thing, which I'm not even sure we should, we need to keep it simple.

1,084

5

Meeseeks

: I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

1,085

5

Summer

: I want to be popular at school!

1,086

5

Meeseeks

: Ooh, okay!

1,087

5

Jerry

: Summer, what did I just-

1,088

5

Meeseeks 2

: Ooh, I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!

1,089

5

Beth

: I want I want to be a more complete woman!

1,090

5

Jerry

: Beth!

1,091

5

Meeseeks 2

: Oh, yeah! Yes, ma'am!

1,092

5

Jerry

: You guys are doing it wrong. He said "simple."

1,093

5

Meeseeks 3

: Hey, there. I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

1,094

5

Jerry

: Mr. Meeseeks, I would like to take two strokes off my golf game.

1,095

5

Meeseeks 3

: Ooh, yeah! Can do!

1,096

5

Jerry

: Nailed it.

1,097

5

Rick

: God, Morty, what a boring start to an adventure. Why didn't we just go to Kentucky?

1,098

5

Morty

: Rick, this is a fantasy-type world with creatures and all sorts of fantasy things. We're going on a quest, okay?

1,099

5

Rick

: Can't wait.