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Let him work! Remember, he is a serious man. Now you come inside and party. Don't stay out here all by yourself. I've never been much of a dancer. C'mon...give him a drink. No thanks. C'mon.. . You do as you're told. Okay? Drink! A real drink! Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay... Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. .. Out here there is silence. For days they waited for the man who walked into the desert. I don't think they talked about him. They didn't understand the desert. Assholes. Fucking assholes. Repairing a roof out here in dead-mans-land. It won't be long before we'll be... fighting each other for a drop of water.
Killing for a carrot. Some fantastic striptease act of human needs. Is man no more than this? It's good old Lear again. Perfect! .. .death, dearth. menaces.. . and maledictions against a king.. . and nobles. Am I disturbing you? No, no. Have you got a book I can borrow? I can't sleep. Yes, but they're in English. No choice. Do you know why it's called a role? Pardon? In the theatre. Do you know why it's called a role? It must be French. No. It doesn't have anything to do with France. A long time ago, when things were written by hand.. . Ex cuse me, have you got a light? In order to avoid having to write a whole play out several times, each player was given his own role. "Space Killers"? Oh, no, you're reading the wrong side. Did you write this Henry? No.. .I'm paid to read that stuff. Turn it over.
"I cannot heave my heart into my mouth." "I love your Majesty..." That's Cordelia. It s Othello? No. It's Lear. Are you writing King Lear by hand? Well, as much as I can remember of it. Or what I think I can remember. Why not. Just imagine... if we could put on King Lear out here. In this godforsaken place with all these lost souls. They couldn't learn these things. Maybe not. They d probably rather sit and stare into thin air. That's okay. We're on holiday, aren't we? Oh really? Actually, I was thinking that you could play Cordelia? I II take one of your books, okay? What s it like living with somebody like Paul? Drive you mad does it? You should keep yourself in shape. I do. I play a bit of football now and again. Where the fuck is Jack? They re talking about doing a play out here. Have you heard that? Those carrots must be getting to us, huh? I mean, what idiot would want to take part in that?
It s bloody ridiculous. I will. Paul, your capacity for self-degradation is really. .. quite formidable. And what about you, Amanda? Are you going to join in? I. .. I'm sorry. What did you say? I don't think there are any more parts. Well, lucky old you. Don't worry. I'II make sure there's a part in the play for you love. Well, if there aren't any more parts, then there's nothing you can do about it. Well, if you're not in it, then neither am I... Well, I don't want you to embarrass me... I'll tell him straight! Tell who? Henry! Good, that's good. Now surely some tribal chieftain will see that.. . God willing. You know. I hate party games. .. and I'm not going to. .. participate in some kind of silly group therapy.. . and I don't care if everybody's doing it. .. and I don't care if only the bugs are watching... they're going to eat us anyway.. . Practicing your lines? No.
That's what I want to talk to you about. What? I mean, the play. Yeah? I mean, what s it all about? Well, it s about a King, who has two daughters.. . or maybe it's three, I'm not really sure. But anyway, he has a couple of kids. And he's old and he wants to retire... and he wants to divide his kingdom between his kids, so whoever says they love him the most. .. gets the biggest share. That's it. And you get the chance to be the evil daughter, right? Sure. I get to play the real bitch. You don't have to worry you know, nobody has to f all in love and everybody gets to die in the end. Are you too tired? No. I'm not tired. How about if it was in French? You could talk to me in French. What do you want me to say? Say... I m French. And I like to boogie on down baby ! "I'm French, " "and I am fed up with you sticking to my ass. ' That's so excellent. More! What?
Tell me a story. "Once upon a time, ' "an old man was lost in the desert.' 'After several days, " ' he got so bored he was ripping his balls off." ' So he got this crazy idea. .. ' "of staging King Lear in the middle of a shit-hole of a desert. ' ' At first, ' "he asked the French chick to be in because the old retard..." ' got a hard on at the thought of her tight little ass. ' ' Sadly, she turned him down. .. ' 'Seeing he'd blown his chances of screwing the intellectual, " 'he decided to try his luck with the Yankee bitch." 'The cow's immense joy was as great as her stupidity." "Wow! Great! A real play ! " "And maybe the old dickhead's idea wasn't so bad, " 'because thanks to her pretty little ass.. ." ' he'd got to attract the other guys." "And there you go! " What was it about? It was a fairy tale. It's beautiful! I can say they were afraid but they didn't hold each other. They began to say words. Words made them forget. For a while they went round and said words... without talking to each other. Henry listened. In two our kingdom, and it's. ..
tis our firm intent. To share all cares and business from our Age. Passing then on to younger strengths, While we Unburthen'd. .. crawl toward death. And now, My daughters, doth love us most? Goneril, our eldest-born, speak first. I love you more than words can wield the matter. Beyond what is regarded rich and rare. No less than life, with grace, and. .. honey, would you quit with the paper. Please, thank you. I am opposed to any other joy. .. which the most precious square of sense Possesses. And find. I am alone facilitate in your love... Felicitate. Yeah, sorry. As much I am alone prefer.. . as much as child e'er loved, or father found. A love that turns all speech to idle breath. Beyond all manner of all this I love You. Henry, can I sit down? I m feeling rather poorly. Yes, of course. You should have a throne. Of all these bounds, even from this line to this, we are now Lady. What says our youngest daughter, our most dear Cordelia? Nothing, my lord. Nothing? Nothing.
Nothing will come of nothing. Speak again. Unhappy that I am, I cannot. .. leave? have? It's heave. heave. .. Sorry ! Okay. Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave... my heart into my mouth. I love Your majesty according to my bond. No more, no less. I II get him something to drink. He must have eaten one of the bad cans. Get him out of the sun! Here! I need a drink. Now! Please! Paul? Have you got any more brandy? Get him out of the sun! Don't just stand there giving out orders. Come and help! We've got to get him to a doctor. We've got to get him to a doctor. We have to do something you know what I mean? We can't just sit here and eat these fucking carrots! I mean, look at me! Look at me!
I need a wash, you know! I stink like a pig! I really need a bath! What do you want? Get a grip! We're all going to fucking die! Are you insane? Where the fuck is Jack? We can't just sit here and do nothing! He should not have been away this long! He should've been back sooner! We've got to do something! We can't just sit around here... waiting for us all to end up like that! What? I don't fucking know! What do you want to do? Walking? You want to walk? Yeah, why not? Jack walked that way, maybe we should try the other way. Maybe we're lucky! I guess it's going to take a while before we learn this stuff. I know I'm not.. . I'm not very good at it. Oh, I don't know. I'm not sure if it's going to work out. Why? Poor old Lear has got the DT's, we haven't got a Gloucester. What about Charles? I don't think Gloucester s much of a golfer.
He probably doesn't want to do it anyway ! Not sure if any of them do. I think you're wrong about people not wanting to do it. I know, I just. .. I can't go back to just sitting around and thinking all day. All the thoughts that come into my brain. What kind of thoughts? You know the kind. Is anyone back home thinking about me? How's my sister? Is she really taking care of Flower Boy? Flower Boy's my dog. I mean they probably think we're dead right? Do you think we're going to die out here? No, no. How do you know? I just know. I would really really like to do the play. Do you think you can learn the lines? Yes, I promise I can. I can. Were you really an actor? A long time ago when I lived in London. Where do you live now? Los Angeles. Wow! Are you in the movies? Well, no, not really. I used to work in the theatre. Hmmm.
I used to work in the theatre too. Where? Oh. No, no, no, no. You're going to have to use your imagination on that one. Careful now. No, you're not like that. Cornflakes... or is it yogurt with muesli you eat now? Do you remember that time we had to buy a present for your mother, you got lost in the crowd, I couldn't find you? These past days I've been thinking of you more and more. I should have done that a long time ago. Thoughts out here the mistakes. I'm trying to imagine your life. What are you doing here? Your plan failed. You haven't got a King. Oh, we'll work something out. Might even do it myself. What about Cordelia? You would be a wonderful Cordelia! You'd enjoy that, would you? You'd be better than the one you've got now. Oh, I don't agree. I think she II be very good. Hello? Are you bored? Yeah. I always am. Even at home. It's not any easier out here.
No. Quite. How do you do it? How do you pass the time? By keeping a very firm grip on myself that's how I do it. You don't want to take part in the play, huh? That's well observed. I just don't understand this urge... that people have to parade themselves. Pretending like those Japs who think they're Sinatra or Elvis Presley. Women who can't wait to get on TV. .. to tell the world they're shagging their husband's best friend. It's what makes you happy right? Happy? Yeah, happy. Look, the only reason you're running about out there is. .. because you can't think of anything better to do! Where's the dignity in that? Don't you think you can suck me into this farce! No, nobody thinks they can. Do you think I'm blind? Or do you think I'm stupid? No. I've seen you with those chaps out there. Don't think you can flash your pretty little eyes at me.. . and make me go all gooey. Still, never say never. Let's negotiate. Let's do a deal. Okay.
But it's payment on delivery. Yeah? What? If I m going to do join in there's got to be one condition. I get to fuck you. Fuck you til this madness ends. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? I mean, sacrifice yourself for your art? I must love you, I would fain know you better. Sir, I shall study deserving. The King is coming. Alright, very good. Let's skip my lines and go straight to Goneril. Liz. I love you more than words can wield the matter. Beyond what is regarded rich and rare. No less than life, with grace, and health, and honor. I am opposed to any other joy. .. that the most precious square of sense possesses and find. I am alone.. .felicitate in your love. Isn't it your turn, Henry? Well, yes. ..right. Let's. .. Let s try something else. Henry, I think I'm just a little bit confused... like, I need to know like who she is and where she comes from. Let it be so. Thy truth then be thy dower. For, by the sacred radiance of the sun. By the mysteries of Hecate and the night.
By all the operation of the orbs. By whom we do exist. And cease to be. Here I disclaim all my paternal care. Proximity and property of blood... and as a stranger to my heart and me. Hold thee from this. .. forever. The barbarous cronos... who makes his generation dishes to gorge his appetite. .. shall to my bosom be a friend, neighbor, and relative as thou. My sometime. .. daughter. And Kent, come not between the dragon and his wrath. I loved her most.. . and thought to set my rest on her kind nursery. Hence and avoid my sight. So shall my grave be my peace. It s here. I take her father s heart from her. Yes, well I think that went very well. Is that it? Maybe he's a king and maybe she's a princess. ..but... whoever heard of a daughter that. .. loved her father and wouldn't tell him that she loved him. I mean that doesn't make any sense. Least he had a daughter. What s the point of having a child if you don't have a life? God, those eyes. Oh Gina, Gina, Gina. It's like a volcano going off in my head. I mean. ..
I'm sure you ve heard this a million times but.. . I've never felt.. . I ve never seen such passion. I just have to touch you and...whoosh! But I'm in pretty good shape, don't you think? You felt it didn't you Gina? Was it good for you? Yes, yes it was good. I'm flattered. I m proud. Have you been with many women? Oh, Yes. Well, you know, women and women. But I've never felt like this. I always knew there was someone... I always knew the moment would come. See, that's why I kept myself fit. You know, exercising every morning before I went to work. .. and when I came home I was exercising, then... it's golf for the weekend and that sort of thing. But I always had a target. I always had a reason to keep myself fit. So I was ready! I don't just mean for fucking. Love. I'm in love! I've always been ready for love! Had you not been there father, these white hairs... Had you not been there father, these white hairs... Is this a face. .. Is this a face?
Is this a face? This is a face. Is this a face? This is a f ace to.. . 'Tis known to us. Our preparation stands in expectation of them. O dear father, ... 'Tis thy own welf are that I care about. For this, great France. My sad and mourning tears hath pitied. Ask thy daughter s blessing. This is a night.. . pities neither wise men nor fools. I can't hear you. O nuncle, court holy-water in a dry house. He makes me want to puke. What s the matter now? Messing about with a tart like that at his age. What about this one? Is this one too dented? Oh, chuck it away, don't take a chance. They re all dented. No, no, no, no. Amanda, you should have checked these boxes earlier! What the fuck are we going to live on? There's a plane! There's a plane for God's sake! You're not pointing it right. Give me the mirror. Give me the mirror !
Paul, let him do it, Paul! You're not doing it right way! Give me the mirror ! You're not doing it right! Give me the mirror ! They ate a bit less every day... then they said words the rest of the time. I don't know if the desert crept into their heads at night... but in the day it wasn't there. Together they said words. They still didn't say them to each other. This is nothing fool! We're not quite there yet Ray. The trouble is you're doing it from the throat, try taking a deep breath and then say the line. This is nothing fool! Not quite, do it again. Henry, I really don't think I'm cut out for this stuff, you know? No, you'll be fine, you II be fine, now just concentrate on the words. And forget about the rest of us. And just take your time. We've got plenty of time. All right? Amanda. Would you do something for me? Take this. Now would you go into that house over there. What I need is to hear you not the fool.. . you. Just think about what the fool has to say... and find your own meaning in it. All right? Okay. Oh my God, what is this place? It's an ice house.
Well, that's just typical, isn't it? Lots of big beefy guys all working really hard. Just to keep their women cold. You know why I brought you here? Yes. No, you don't. I brought you here to piss my husband off. I wanted to kick him in the balls. None of the old guys would work. .. and Ray would never believe that I'd do the stupid guy but you're just perfect. White men don't like their wives fucking black men! Think I'm a bitch? I guess I am a real bitch. Come on. You might as well take your reward cause I ve got mine already. And nobody s going to believe a fucking word you say anyway! C mon. Turn around. Turn around. Get down on your knees. Get down on your knees. So this is the way you want it? On demand? You fucking bastard! You don't understand, do you? Come on. Where's Ray? I don't know, where's Amanda? She II be here in a minute.
Goodnight. Night. I think I'll also turn in. No, sit down. - No, I d rather. .. - No, no. You can sit down and talk to me for a minute. You like women? Yeah. Yeah. Where would we be without women, hey? Our lives would be miserable. I think I'd just fall apart. I d be down at the pub all night, day in, day out, looking for the one and only. Have you got a wife? Yes. Why are you fucking Liz? I'm not... Shut up! You're sticking your stinking prick into other people's relationships. I'm not... I said, shut up! Asshole! Sit... down! What has Ray ever done to you? If you want to fuck our women, then you've got to fucking fight! C mon, get up! Fight! Paul!
Let him go! C mon. C mon, hit me you poof. Let him go. Let him go! Paul! Paul, get off him! Paul, get off him! No! Are you out of your stupid head? Are you okay? Amanda. Leave us alone! Amanda! Amanda! Shame on you. You can't just leap about bashing people senseless. He was asking for it. No, he wasn't. He was. No. He wasn't. He was. Amanda, he was asking for it! I don't know you anymore. We don't know each other. I've always done everything for you. No. You know that! Everything!
Everything you've done you've done for yourself. You've never considered me not for a second. You don't always get what you dream of having. I always knew that you were nothing special. But that was okay because I just wanted a peaceful life. But the worst thing is, you yourself. The ridiculous, pathetic way your head works. I never... I never knew you were a pig! Stop what you're saying now... because you don't mean what you're saying. Yes, I do. I do mean what I'm saying. For once in my life I m absolutely clear headed... about what I'm saying. No, Amanda, don't go, Amanda, stay. You can't do this. Yes, I can. I II change. I'll change. I'll change! I promise I'll change. I'll change. I'll change! Don't go! O nuncle, court holy- water... in a dry house is better than this rain water out of doors. Good nuncle, in? Ask thy daughter's blessing. Here's a night... pities neither wise men nor fools. Are you alright? Time had passed. The time it takes.
For a while I didn't see the big man. I didn't understand a word they said. Nor did they. I think that Henry understood what they said. Okay. I must change arms at home, and give the distaff. Into my husband's hands. Soon you will hear. If you dare venture on your own behalf a mistress' bidding. Decline your head. This kiss, if it durst speak.. . I can do it better, I can do it better. Can I do it again? Yeah, sure. .. I must give this. I must change arms at home, and give the distaff. Into my husband's hands. Soon you will hear. If you dare venture on your own behalf to do a mistress' bidding. Wear this. Decline your head, this kiss, if it durst speak.. . Can I try this one more time? Please? Well, actually, it's fine but if you like.. . Please. Please. I must change arms at home, and give the distaff. Into my husband's hands. Soon you will hear. If you dare venture on your own behalf.
A mistress's bidding. Wear this. Spare speech. This kiss, conceive and fare thee well. Ray! He'll be back. Ray. Ray. Jesus. What s the matter? What s the matter? I can't breathe. She's got a fever. She's got a fever. Help me, help me get her inside. C'mon, please. How are you darling? Would you prefer to be by yourself? Yes. Okay, okay. I don't want anything from you, don't you get it? You're an old letch. When you touched me you made me wanna puke. Your grinning and sweating all over me. Please. Oh. I thought I was going to crawl out of my skin. But you really fell for it huh? Yeah, you fell for it.
You're a mean fucking sonofabitch. You're smug, you're not funny, you're not nice to people. You look like fucking shit. Why would I want to go with you? Do you wanna know why? You know that smile you have that's so fucking condescending? The way you look at people. The way you judge everybody. I just... I wanna... I just wanted to open you up. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. GO! . ..good Lord, sit here and rest a while. I have a journey, sir shortly to go. My master calls me, I must not say no. .. .hard by, there is a hovel. Repose... but there while I to this hard house. My master calls me, I must not say no. Return and force this wanting courtesy. Where's Gina? Can we talk? Charles, we have to talk. I can't. You'd better get something on your head. You can't stay out here. You ve got to go inside. C mon.
Shouldn't you be rehearsing? No. Not without Cordelia. Catherine. Gina? Look. Cans. Look. He's dead. He's lying out there. This little piggy went to market. This little piggy wouldn't talk to me. And this little piggy went wee, wee, wee. All the way home. This little piggy thought she was an actress. And this little piggy was... was a pig. OINK OINK! Shut up, Shut up! I want to know what s left of him. Probably only the skeleton, wrapped in his clothes. We have to go out there and bury him. This cold night will turn us all to fools and madmen. By the laws of war.. . thou needst not answer An unknown adversary. Thou art not vanquished. But cozen'd and beguiled. As you have charged me, I am guilty. And have done much more. Let's exchange charity. It is true.
The wheel has come full circle Howl, howl, howl. O you are men of stones. Had I your tongues and eyes, I d use them so that heaven's vault should crack? She's gone forever. I know when one is dead and when one lives. She's dead as earth. Is this the promis'd end? From the desert came peace. They didn't see everything. I saw it all. A plague upon you, murderers, traitors, all! I might have saved her? Now she's gone. Forever. Cordelia? Cordelia? Stay a little. They are not here. Now they are gone. When I said the earth was moving, I didn't mean literally. I'm disappointed. Not for long. I can make you happy. 23:30. 23:30.
You got 15 minutes. Why does Langley want Kitover so bad? 'Cause he's a top Soviet chemist. Urquhart thinks he's working on something big. Sunitska... When this one's over, I want you to come with me. Can you handle me 24 hours a day? You have 14 minutes. Alec, da? Arkady Kitover. What you're doing, Alec, is a great thing, not just for me, but for the whole world. I want you to know that. You don't believe me. Let's just say I've heard a lot of talk about saving the world, doc. I understand. You're cynical. In your profession, I would be, too. Shit... we've got a shadow. I don't see anything. Back there. The lights are off. What is the problem? We got a tail, doc. Tell me you're as important as Urquhart says you are. Good, 'cause I'd hate to die for the Colonel's secret recipe. Hang on. - Damn it! - Can't we outrun them? Sonya, head for the safe house on Leninskij Prospekt. - Alec--
- Just go. We don't have a choice. He's priority one. I'll be okay. You know what to do. Alec, be careful. Go. Sonya. Room service. Man: Do you like baseball... Mr. Carville? When I was a boy... I was a big fan of American baseball. All I wanted to do was play in the major leagues for the Red Sox. Red Sox suck. They haven't won a series since Ruth went to the Yankees. Let's just say I like to root for the underdog. Now a word about the rules. Every time you answer incorrectly, or refuse to answer, that's a strike. Tell me what I want to know, you take a base. Are we clear? What if I hit a home run? The chemist... where is he? Somewhere... between here... and there. Strike one. You have an accomplice: Red Fox. Who is she? Your sister.
Strike two! You are in a bad way, my friend. Tell me what I want to know... and you can the spend the rest of the inning on the bench. What difference does it make? I'm eating pine anyway... Basil... Bellanin. I see we have files on each other, "Chameleon." You don't mind if I use your code name, do you? Go ahead... Big Bird. Where did you-- Your wife... likes to talk in my favorite position. Strike three. You are gonna regret that, I promise. Talking back to an official. I'm afraid you're out of the game! Alec: An interesting piece... Self portrait. It's so dark... Sonya: I create what I feel. Alec: Danger. I feel sadness... sadness for my country. Sunitska... one day you and your country will be free... Close the door on the way out... good looking. How're we feeling today, Alec, hmm?
Good. Glad to hear it. It's March 21st today. March 21st. Special day. Do you know why? Hmm? Aww... It is vernal equinox. First day of spring. Everything... is about to change. But I suppose... nothing ever changes in here, does it? If it will make you feel any better... I've had quite a change of fortune lately. And in a way, I have you to thank for it. Alec! Doktor. Da. Pardon me. I don't know you. Man on intercom: Da? I'm looking for Sonya Orlova. Just a moment. Sonya? Sonya... Pardon me. Wakey-wakey. I apologize for the restraints.
When a man's had his first taste of freedom in a long time, there's no telling how he'll react to being held against his will. Bellanin. I thought I smelled your style. Robert Alec Carville, CIA. A genuine cold warrior. Like a stone age mosquito preserved in amber. A living, breathing fossil of a dead age. I didn't know the KGB was into paleontology. The KGB no longer exists, my friend. I see you don't believe me. Do you know how long you were in that cell? 11 years. Things have changed while you were gone. America won the cold war, the Soviet Union collapsed... and I went into business for myself. Don't tell me... you bought the Red Sox. An interesting idea. Actually, I'm in shipping. Import-export. A smuggler. I prefer the term "Commodities broker," but you are correct. I run my operation from this side of the Atlantic, and I enjoy season's tickets to both the Sox... and the symphony. And these two? Unemployed cellists... or your designated hitters? Norvid and Iashin used to work for Spetsnaz. Now they work for me. The job is the same. But the pay is better. Shut up.
I arranged your escape, Alec. The drugs they were giving you were replaced with a placebo. I had someone on the inside take care of it. I'm supposed to be grateful for that? You put me in there. And I can send you back. We knew you'd come looking for her. You know where she is? Quid... pro... quo, Alec. Sonya... Do as I say, and the Red Fox does not become extinct. Let me see her. You have seen her. When the job is done, you will both be free to go. You have my word. Your word. You break it... and I will break you. You should learn to be... more trusting, Alec. After all... I'm the only friend you have left. Understood? Understood. Come. I have something to show you. Voilà. The original is called "Spring." Now it's in the vault at the Atlantic Global Bank in Boston. In two days, the owner will come to collect it. I want your help to obtain it before that happens. You want me to help you obtain this... painting?
I was planning to simply switch it with this copy, but the svoloch moved it to a more secure location before my people could act. The painting was recently purchased by a rather flamboyant American billionaire by the name of Felix J. Grady. He made his fortune in the oil business, and now dabbles in communications. The resemblance is remarkable, Chameleon. With a little work and your talent... no one would be able to tell the difference. Like you said, it's been 11 years. What if I'm a little rusty? You can handle it. Grady has a reputation for running on his own schedule. This time, you're a day early. You walk right into the bank... and walk right out with the painting. That's easy for you to say. Easy for you to do. The painting for Sonya. The choice is yours. I think you will find the guest room cozy after your recent accommodations. The liquor cabinet is fully stocked. I recommend the cognac. It's '89. A very good year. Well... for some of us. Oh, and, uh... big brother is watching. There's some homework on the table for you. Good night. '89 sucked. Felix J. Grady. Smokes a good cigar. Thank you very much. I'd like to thank Colin for that fine introduction. He's gonna get a raise tomorrow.
I can't tell you how proud I am to be here today at the christening of our first satellite of our new communication division. I-- ahem-- We named it in my honor, the Grady Star! Grady Star. "The Grady Star!" Mm-mm. Just look at her. Fine piece of machinery she is, mm-mm. One day we'll be able to control the skies with this puppy. I like to call her my ticket to fly. "My ticket to fly." Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. Like my daddy always told me, he said, "Sonny, as long as you got power and a whole lot of money, everybody loves you... especially the honeys." Thank you, all. Thank you all very much. Grady's own mother wouldn't be able to tell you apart. His mistress, maybe. I'm sure you know what this is. Put it on. The bank will want a scan of your thumbprint. Don't worry, my people have already penetrated their computer. They will make sure the system thinks it's a match. What happens if your people aren't as good as you think they are? I prefer to play the odds. Like we say in Russia, "Kak dva pal'tsa obossat." "Piece of cake." Right. Testing... testing... One, two, three.
- Josef? - Reading you. - Gregor? - Da. Carville? I think there's something wrong with mine. All I hear is an irritating voice. Remember why you are here, Alec, and what will happen if you fail. Y'all just keep the car runnin', you hear? Excuse me. Can I help you, sir? Mm-mm. The better question is, can I help you? Felix J. Grady at your service. And if I may be of service... Uh, Mr. Grady, I'll let Vicky-- I mean, Miss Best, my boss-- I'll let her know you're here. You do that. And when you call, you call me collect now, you hear? Mm-mm. Perhaps just a little less charm. Anytime you'd like to take over, you just let me know. Just concentrate... on the task at hand. Relax, boys! They ain't got varmints in New England like we gots back home. Fella can walk into a bank without worryin' he's gonna get caught in the middle of a stickup. Good afternoon. You made a friend. First time?
Very amusing. Mr. Grady. Yes, ma'am. I'm Vicky Best, VP International Accounts. A pleasure to make your acquaintance. We heard about your change of schedule. Yes. I... must apologize for that. No, that's fine. My office is upstairs. Shall we? Certainly. Uhh... excuse me. Maybe you should wait here until we're done. We don't want to... intimidate the lady, if you know what I mean. Let him go. Sorry about that. Can I get you a coffee, tea? Coffee. Yes, coffee would be wonderful. Oh, Lynn, will you get coffee for Mr. Grady? This shouldn't take long, Mr. Grady. Please, have a seat. After you. Okay. I am going to need to see some picture ID and your Social Security card, please. I'm... very sorry about this. The client did insist. I understand perfectly. After all, rules are rules.
I think you'll rather enjoy that picture. Are you okay? Yes. Spendin' my money always makes me tense. I can't even imagine having this much money to spend. - Lynn, is that you? - Yes, Miss Best. Come on in. You are doing well, Alec. Why, thank you, sweetheart. Okay... now... If I could just get you to put your right thumb on the glass, please. Great. Okay. Just a few more minutes. Last step. Now, if I could just get you to enter your password, we'll be done. My password? Mm-hmm. We need more time. Keep her talking a little longer. So soon? I was hoping that we could chat a little longer, get to know each other a little better. It appears spending money also turns you into a bit of a flirt, Mr. Grady. You know, they say that danger is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Now, I think that's a load of hogwash myself. Personally, I don't think you need danger... to be horny. Are you going to enter your password, or are we gonna continue discussing your love life? Stall her. My password.
So many things to forget in life. My password... is not one. Not yet! We have a firewall that just came down and shut us out. My people are already routing. Five seconds. That was close. Great. I'm glad to see she's... never far from your mind. No... no, she's not. - I beg your pardon? - Nothing. Just an end-total thought. Ah. That's it. Congratulations. Thank you. Shall we go to the vault? Darlin', I will follow you anywhere. One of you go with him. Stay here. That's all right, Dick. I can handle this by myself. I think Sonya would want him to go along, Mr. Grady. You know, on second thought... maybe you should join us. A little culture never hurt anyone, especially you. You don't mind, do you? No, that's just fine.
Good. So where do you call home when you're not jetsetting around? Fort Worth. But I was born in a little town in Tennessee. Tennessee? That's the home of Davy Crockett. Those are some big shoes to fill. One day you and your country will be free. I don't suppose you could tell me who the previous owner was. No. I never met them. All of our transactions for this client have been done through an offshore corporation. Is that a fact? Mm-hmm. Oh, my. Relationship between the artist and the applications of colors seem rather hurried, and yet there's a raw, hidden talent here. You're not having second thoughts, are you, Mr. Grady? Mr. Grady? Hm? Oh, no. No, no, not at all. Believe me... it is a lifesaver. Carville, can you read me? Alec, Josef, get out of there. It's Grady. The real Grady just arrived. Gregor, they must not be able to hear me down in the vault. Get them out of there. Hurry! - Josef!
- Da? - He's here! - Who? Grady! We have to leave now! Oh, my, look at the time. I do hate to cut this short, but we do have a previous engagement on the other side of town. Hope you don't think me rude. No. Uh, I am going to need you to sign this form-- No problem. Have it sent to my office. What kinda cheap parlor trick is this? Must be Halloween, boys, 'cause we got ourselves an impostor! Now, that's funny! That guy's a total jerk. What in the hell is going on in there? Somebody answer me! I need that painting. Don't just stand there. Would you do something? Okay... Everybody... on the floor! Employees: No, no! Do it now! Did you hear me? I said, on the floor! Now! Norvid?
Don't do it. It's not worth it. Shit! Teach you to mess with me, you sumbitch! Yee-haw! Now this is the way I like it! Hey! Where you going? Stay down! Too late. Get us out of here! Get down! Freeze! Police! Damn! Guess I'm on my own! Stick your head out, boy, and let me pick it off. Where'd you go, you snake in the grass? You lookin' for me, hoss? Basil...? Basil! Where is he? Gone. Ohh... I'll take that, Mr. Grady. Well, ain't this a pickle? Not much of a square dance, is it? What do we do now? Close the blinds. If they can't see us, they can't shoot us, Grisha.
Go! All right, nice and easy. Easy... - Easy, men... - Someone's coming out! Down! Take cover! Norvid: Let's go! Move! Come on, move! Everybody move! Come on, come on! Into the corner! Let's go! Come on, come on! Into the corner! Let's go! Let's go! You! Hey, come on! Over to the corner! Grisha, watch them! All right, keep your weapons drawn, but no firing till I say so. Marshal? Yes, sir? What's the story? Gregor, get down those blinds! Close the blinds. Close the blinds!
Shut up! Shut up! Don't look at me! Shut up! Don't look at me. Don't look at me! Shut up! - Watch them! - Hold on here a minute. You can't herd me around like some kind of cattle. Now, you boys have just made a big mistake. You talking to me? Well, I was just... merely trying to... state my point, that's all. That's enough. What the hell are you doing? Ending this insanity before you get us all killed, you idiot! I have my instructions. You have an employer who'd rather save his own ass than yours. Think about it, Norvid. Are you ready to die for a paycheck? We have a job to do, company man. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem, and I don't need any more problems right now. Iashin! Woman: Oh! Well, well, well, looky here. Looks like we got ourselves an old fashioned Mexican standoff. Sit down-- and shut up! All righty.
What's it going to be, company man? Hm? Man on bullhorn: Hello, in the bank! I'm unarmed! I wanna come in and talk! I'm unarmed. I wanna come in and talk. I'm Detective Delaney. I'll be your negotiator today. Just you! Move! You're, uh, Russian, right? It's the accent. Doesn't take much. I can always tell. Shut up. What's this? It's a tape recorder. For your demands. My demands? Christ, son, there's obviously a language problem here. Demands, boy! He wants to know what you want. Well, hell, I got one-- You shut up or I'll kill her. Go ahead! Hell, I prefer blondes anyway. Gregor, put that down! Officer, if you'll just call my hotel, the Excelsior, and ask for Urquhart, now, he'll come down and straighten the whole fool mess out.
Shut up! Well, who's in charge here? I am. My demands... I want a jet waiting at airport and bus to take us there. And 10 million. Cash. I better take that down. Jet. Bus. 10 million rubles. Dollars, asshole. American dollars! American dollars, not rubles. Don't fuck with me. Oh, uh, 10 million... that's gonna take some time. Well-- Norvid... we need to let some of the hostages go. Is he with you? We don't need them. It may... speed things up? Yeah, yeah, he's right. It could grease the wheels with the suits downtown. Bring them out. Nyet. Gregor... They're our ticket out of here. I'd kill them before I'd let them go. Don't be stupid. Who're you calling stupid?
You. Both of you, shut up! Gregor... I know what I'm doing, believe me. Now go get the hostages. - Grisha... - You idiot! Now! Out! Out! Out! Out fast! Move! Sit down! Not me...? Shut up! Not you. You stay. - I'm sorry-- - Just go, go. I make the rules here, policeman. Do you understand? You can't eat your pie and have it, too. If we are not on plane by tonight, the billionaire gets it, and there'll be more like him. Do you understand? Go. It's "cake." Policeman: It's Delaney. Get him out of the line of fire!
Quick, go! Go! Go! Bad to worse. I want you there, you up there, and you over there. I want every entrance in or out of this bank covered. Let's go. Double time. Look alive! Well, if it isn't Don Quixote. Albright. What are you doing here? It's a bank, it's being robbed, a hostage situation, smells like Federal jurisdiction to me. You're not turning this into your own private Waco. Not like the last time. Not on my watch. Those were antigovernment extremists, and I did what was necessary. Just keep telling yourself that. Let's try to work together on this one, Delaney. Those hostages in there are counting on us. You're not gonna listen to anything I have to say anyway. Suit yourself. You're right. We got two, maybe three perps, semiautos, heavy caliber. Okay. Bought us a little time. Now we just have to figure a way out. Basil will find a way. You trust him? You're dumber than I thought.
Grisha... Yeah, they killed some poor son of a bitch just to show they were serious. You're a good cop, Delaney. That's why I'm gonna let you stay on in an advisory capacity. When you're done tilting windmills, I'll be in the back. Thanks, Robo-cop. Will somebody give me a paper towel? ! All right, so which one of you is the real Felix Grady? Now, you got to be kidding me. Why, that boy don't look nothing like me. Well, look at me! I'm plump, I'm proud. Hell, I'm one sexy fella! So then who is he? That's a good question, my little filly. I'm not your little filly, you got that? Hillbilly jerk. Well, well, well, looky here. See what I mean? Now, what the hell are you lookin' at? - A patsy. - What'd you just call me? You work for the Company, don't you? Now, what makes you think I'd have anything to do with them people? Urquhart. Thomas Wayne Urquhart. You mentioned his name to the cop. See, I used to work for him too, Grady... a long time ago.
And they want the painting, right? They're using you as cover for purchase and pickup. They did the same thing back in the '70s with Howard Hughes. Hide in plain sight. That way, you don't attract attention. Yeah, but that doesn't make any sense. I mean why is a painting worth killing each other over? That's the million dollar question. Try 100 million. It don't matter. I'm the only one coming out of here smelling like a rose. You're blind, Grady. They're playing you. Can't you see that? Do you even know why you shelled out for that thing? You don't, do you? You're just their stooge. Their bagman. It's time you and I squared off. Enough talking! Sit down, I said! And you... Remember, I am in charge now. Then I guess we can kiss our asses goodbye. Don't think I won't kill you because I'm scared of pissing off Bellanin. You mean less than shit to me. I'm glad we got that sorted out. I could kill you now. I have nothing else to do today. Vicky:
No! Eagles, that was a gunshot. Tell me you see something, over. Negative. We've got zero visibility. Windows covered, over. Shit's hitting the fan. I'm gonna warm up the boys. Keep your pants on for just one minute. We don't know what's going on in there. You know, I've been wanting to do this to one of you for a long time. For fallen... comrades. Josef... do you read me? Never thought I'd be happy to hear your voice. Alec, where is the paint-- Basil... where the hell have you been? Control yourself. You are there for one reason. To get me that painting. I need all three of you alive for that. For your information, the building is surrounded by police! I know. Is the painting safe? Yes. Good. Alec, come in. He can't hear you anymore. I am in charge here. I need Alec to complete this operation.
What you need, Bellanin, is to get us out of here! I'm working on it as we speak. This is a... delicate situation. You have done a fine job for me, Josef. I will not forget it. You just have to trust me. I will not go back to prison. You get us out of here, Bellanin... or the police will be knocking on your door tomorrow... comrade! He will help us. I trust him. Grisha... All right, Delaney, what's up? - Look, there was this guy-- - A guy? A perp. - Well, no-- - Was he armed? Yes, but look, if it wasn't for him, we'd be dealing with 10 hostages instead of just two. I think he may be the voice of reason. - "May be" doesn't cut it. - Give me an inside line. Either I call him on the phone, or I go in there. It's up to you. You're a pain in the ass, you know that? Make it short. Hello. Hello, uh, this is Detective Delaney. We heard some shooting in there. Is everybody all right?
Everyone is fine. We had a little misunderstanding, that's all. I'm glad to hear that. Listen, uh, we're working on your plane and your money, but it's gonna take some time. Why don't you do me a favor and let the woman go? You have balls, detective. I hear a lot of talk, but no action. Look, you let some people go, but then you killed an innocent man for no reason. Doesn't show a lot of good faith. My superiors want somebody rational to deal with, not a raving psychotic. Let me tell you who you're dealing with, detective. I am a Don Cossack. My father fought against the Germans in the Great Patriotic War. My grandfather fought against the Bolsheviks in 1917, and my great-grandfather led pogroms against the Jews for the Czar. We did not get our reputation by acting in good faith. You now have two hours to get me what I want. Smooth, Delaney... real smooth. Your hard-on's showing. You had your chance. Two hours... that's 7:50, and I'm going in after dark. Delaney? Now, that's interesting. Yeah, apparently the perp who was killed in front of the bank was already dead. His ID took a bullet, so they had to run his fingerprints through the FBI database. His real name is Caleb Dervitz. He's a marine from Wisconsin. Apparently he was killed... in Desert Storm. Shit. Agent Albright, my name is Urquhart. Justice Department.
I need a word with you in private. Detective, would you, uh, excuse us, please? This is definitely gonna need a stitch. Are you sure you know what you're... doing? ER nurse, five years. Then I decided to try something a little less stressful. Okay, shoot. I want you to know what's going on inside that bank. Three men have taken hostages. They want money, a plane. And the corpse at the morgue? Don't tell me Justice Department. I wasn't born yesterday. No, he didn't work for Justice, and neither do I. Central Intelligence Agency. What I'm about to tell you is eyes-only information. It does not leave this van, you understand me? A number of our agents were inside that bank on an operation of the highest national security. I can't tell you the details, but I need that building secured as quickly as possible. All other considerations are secondary. Now, we can't just go in there openly and take over. It would violate our charter, it would raise all kinds of questions on Capitol Hill. This has to stay an FBI operation. I can go over your head if necessary, but that would take time I do not have, so I need to know that I can count on you. Thanks. You're welcome. So... who are you? I mean, are you Russian? Are you American? I know what I saw, and you were trying to stop all of this.
Okay... A name. Could you at least tell me your name? Okay. No name. Alec. My name is Alec... and I'm ex-CIA. Let me get this straight: You're asking me to violate normal FBI protocols and rules of engagement, to undermine an ongoing investigation, and conceal evidence. That's correct. I've seen your file. You have a predilection for shooting first and asking questions later. Just the kind of man I need. So... how does a blank slate sound? And... I don't know. Let's say, a corner office, Assistant Director Albright? Well, it sounds like I'm gonna need a new suit. Vicky: What do you mean "ex"? I mean I've been in a Russian mental institution since 1989. Well, if you're telling the truth, why didn't the CIA get you out? Standard procedure. When an operative is caught in the field... deny any knowledge. But the wall came down in '89. The cold war was over. For you, maybe. But when it came down, I was stuck on the wrong side, caught in one long nightmare that never ended. 11 years... gone.
Just another expendable asset. Bullshit. He's just-- he's trying to scare us! Freak boy ain't said nothing that makes sense since he's been in here. Hell, you heard him. He's... he's been taking loony pills for 11 years. Yes. I heard him. What's your excuse? Albright on tape: ...violate normal FBI protocols and rules of engagement, to undermine an ongoing investigation, and conceal evidence. Urquhart: That's correct. I've seen your file. You have a predilection for shooting first and asking questions later. Just the kind of man I need. A lot to think about, huh? Yeah, and you lay it on pretty thick, too. Just because I said I was in an asylum, that... that doesn't mean I'm crazy. No, you just like to impersonate billionaires for kicks, right? Touché. Back in '89... I had a partner. Actually, she was... she was much more than a partner. So when I escaped from the institution, I tried to find her, but the people who put me up to this, they found me first, and unless I leave here with that painting... they're gonna kill her. So you're saying... you're doing all of this for her? I just want my life back. She was my life... and I want her back. It's getting dark. Mm-hmm.
Police will be making their move soon. I could use your help. I need your contact number, Grady. There ain't no crazy here, boy, so just take it somewheres else. If you ever want to smoke another cigar or have another satellite named after you, I suggest you cough it up. You know, you don't hears too well. I said you're pissin' in the wind. Yup. You got the look. It's more of that crazy talk. Now what the hell is that supposed to mean? If I thought for one moment you'd listen, I'd tell you. You look scared, Felix. Like a deer in headlights. Now, down deep inside, you know I'm right. Now, we can all get out of here alive, but it starts with you. I need that number. Newscaster: This is Channel 13 coming to you live from downtown Boston where an apparent robbery attempt at Atlantic Global has evolved into a hostage situation. There is no word yet on the number of injuries, but gunfire-- Da? Josef. Basil. What are you doing about getting us out of here? Working on it. You said that two hours ago! Put Alec on the phone. I need to talk to him. What?
My time is up. What for? Never mind what for. Just do it! Hey! Bellanin. For you. Don't talk, just listen. Your time is running out, Company man. I chose you for this job because I knew you could adapt to unforseen circumstances. It's time to prove me correct. Sonya's life depends on it. Norvid and Iashin are expendable. The painting is not. Say yes if you understand. Yes. Put our friend back on. Da? Josef, Alec is now in charge. - You will do as he says. - But-- You want to get out of there in one piece? - Don't argue! - Uh-- So, what's happening? Bellanin says we have to take orders from this pidar now. Bullshit! Who're you calling? Man on phone: Yes?
I need to speak with the Piano Man. Oh, I'm sorry, sir. You must have the wrong number. Yeah. Tell him it's the Chameleon. - He'll take the call. - One moment. Yeah? Piano Man, I have a Chameleon on the line. Patching you through. I'll connect you now. - Alec? Alec Carville? - Hello, Tom. Jesus, I thought you were dead! Where are you? Unless I miss my guess, right across the street from you. Good God. Who you working for, the Chinese, the North Koreans? Does it matter? You see, I have the painting, Tom, so tell the FBI to back off or I'll torch it. Go right ahead. You'd be doing us both a favor. You forget we played poker together, Tom. I know you're bluffing. Alec, do you even know what it is you're trying to steal? Well, why don't you fill me in? Cold fusion. Unlimited energy from a simple chemical reaction. It's totally nonpolluting and cheap as dirt.
It was Kitover's baby. Kitover? The chemist? Yeah. He was killed before they could get it out of him. For 11 years, everyone assumed he took the secret with him to his grave, then a few weeks ago, CIA gets an anonymous e-mail... "100 million, and the formula's yours." And that's where Grady comes in. Urquhart: In exchange for certain black technology rights, he buys the painting and turns it over to us. The money never shows up on any congressional audit. So why pay 100 million just to bury it? Are you kidding? Cheap, limitless power that anyone can afford? We'd lose control! It would be the end of everything we've built since the second World War. Buried along with the carburetor that gets 100 miles to the gallon. And Roswell UFO, right? Look, Alec... what happened back in '89 was a shitty deal, but you knew the protocols. Orders are orders, and we have to follow them. Don't let what happened back then affect your judgment now. Do the right thing. Surrender and turn the painting over to us. Since when was doing the right thing about screwing the people you're supposed to protect? Come on, Alec, I'm your friend. This is no game we're playing here. We're talking about the future of our country! Then I guess it's my turn to be selfish, because I don't give a damn about your orders. I got something more at stake here. They're gonna kill--
Alec? Basil was such a fool to trust you. All teams prepare to move on my signal. Lock and load. Okay, people... pucker time. What the hell you doing, Delaney? - I'm going with you. - No chance. Somebody's got to think about those people in there. You sure as hell aren't. I'm not going to tell you again. what's the matter, Neil? Afraid I might see something I'm not supposed to? You endanger any of my men, and I'll have your ass. Thanks for the offer. I'm married! Your two hours are up. I will not surrender. No! No! Get it? Nobody else needs to die. That's my ticket to fly. All right, get moving. Get moving! Oh, Christ... talk about your dead weight. You're on your own, superhero. Grady, don't! Freeze!
Oh, nuts! Urquhart! It's me! Grady! Elvis has left the building. Let's go. Get down! Take this and head for the vault. The vault? It's got a time lock, doesn't it? Yes. You go when I tell you. Just do it. I'll be right behind you, don't worry. - Ready? - Yes. Go... now! Die, for Grisha. Carville! Come out and face me, you pidar gnoinyj! You don't get it, Norvid. It's not about you. Move out! Go! Go! Go! Oh, shit! Shoot him down! I hate this country. I hate this fucking country!
Move it! Go! Go! Get in, get in. Get in! Sorry about that. Are you sure you know what you're doing? You want piece of me, FBI scum? Let's go! I take you all to hell! Aaaah! Yeah, come on! How long till this thing can be opened? 9:00 tomorrow morning. At least buys us some time. Agent Paris? Two of them ran into the vault. It's on a time lock, and we won't be able to open it till morning. Good work. Shit! All right, secure the building and get your men the hell out. And I need to know the exact time that vault opens. We have been down here for a few hours and all you do is stare at that thing. Alec? I know. I'm sorry. I just got lost. Okay. Urquhart told you what this was all about, didn't he? Yes.
I think I have a right to know. And I think the less you know, the better. How can you say that? How many more people need to die-- This isn't your fault! Isn't it? No, it isn't. You're blaming yourself for what happened to her. No... no. It's been 11 years, Alec. It's been 11 years. How do you know that they're telling the truth? How do you know that she's still alive? Stop! She is alive. I feel it. She was a flower of-- ...of spring. Sunitska... one day you and your country will be free. Maybe I will create something happy. Flowers, maybe. I think I know who painted this. Remember when I... said I could use your help? Yes. What do you want me to do? Rise and shine. Room service. Can I give you a hand? - Thank you. - Sure. Miss Best?
Yes? You okay? I'm fine, thank you. Humph! I'll take it from here. Show her out, will you? Thank you. We have a counselor waiting for you if you'd like. I don't need a shrink. I just need some food and the bathroom. It's been a long time. Excuse me, miss... can I ask you a few questions? Can't this wait? I realize that, uh... Vicky! Are you okay? Oh, yes, great. I'm okay. - Are you sure? - Yes. I was so worried for you-- I couldn't sleep! Okay, Tom, you got what you want. Now I need a favor. Yeah? Basil Bellanin has Sonya. If I don't deliver that painting, he's gonna kill her. Basil Bellanin? I haven't heard that name in a while. I think it's best I go to Bellanin's on my own.
Why don't I contact you when I'm through? I'm afraid Bellanin's gonna have to wait. Oh, Alec, Alec, you should've stayed dead. You know, Tom, I kinda hoped you'd be one of the good guys. Too many years of budget cuts and new world order. "New world order," huh? Is that why you didn't come get me? Sorry, pal. You got in too deep with your Russian contact, too close to the other side. We thought you were gonna turn. It wasn't anything personal. It never is. Let's go. Come on. No final pitch, huh? Try to get me back on side? Where's my speech? You know, the old "You're an invaluable asset, Alec. We can really use you on this mission." You want to close this file? You shoot me in the back! Let's not make this any harder than we have to, okay? Don't sweat it, Tom. I'm already dead, remember? All you got to do is... pull the trigger. Nice shot. Thanks. I haven't pulled this trigger in over seven years. How come every time I see you somebody's trying to shoot somebody? I don't know.
Just lucky, I guess. Who the hell are you? Alec Carville. Ex-CIA. Well then, why... My whole history's in the car. Look, I don't have time to explain it to you. I got the bottom half of a double-header to catch. I owe you one. Sources are now reporting that a third suspect in the recently ended hostage incident at the Atlantic Global Bank in downtown Boston may still be at large. This is Jackie Casey reporting for Channel 13, WZIN. I knew I could count on you... Alec. Bellanin: I see you found your way in. I knew I could count on you, Alec. Where's the painting? Oh, yes, the painting. You see, I didn't bring it... 'cause you don't have her. You never did. Let me see if I remember that game we played that night. Answer incorrectly... or refuse to answer, that's a strike, right? Tell me what I want to know... and you can take your base. Are you crazy? All it takes is one phone call, and she's dead. Where is she, Basil? Unless you want Sonya to die, I suggest you lose that thing and hand over the painting. Oh, big swing and a miss.
Strike one. Cash. I'll give you half the value of the painting in cash. That's what 11 years of my life is worth, half of something I already have? You're not doing too well, Basil. Strike two. She's in Yezhov, isn't she? In the cell next to yours. She and Kitover were arrested the same day you were. And you tortured me for two days? Aah! Ohh... Who sold the painting to the CIA? Schroeder. The doctor that you'd killed on the way out of Yezhov. We were associates once. So he double-crossed you. Yes... but we got him back, didn't we? You just don't get it, Basil. You see, Kitover trusted Sonya with the formula that night. Her painting-- "Spring"-- was a legacy to me. For that alone, I thank you. If you want to see her again... you'll have to go back. Not a problem. I already made a reservation, but I have some time to kill. Wait! The painting... where is it? It's in a safe place. Now hold still... I want to clear the green monster.
Can I help you, detective? What's this? Everything you and Urquhart said in the van. What the hell are you doing? You can't touch me. I got a deal. I'm protected. You had a deal. With Urquhart. Urquhart's dead. Hey! That conversation is protected under national security! Look, the judge will never admit it! I can't wait to find out. Windmills, my ass. Investigator: I need a shot of this over here. Thank you for my Spring. Kim: Five minutes to air. First team in the studio, please. Five minutes. Casey: Let's go. - - Good news. - - What? From now on, I am not Dan.
I'm not Danny. I'm Daniel. Good. Let's go. When I joined the union, ther e alr eady was a Daniel Rydell. Come on. Let's go do the show. Guess what happened. What, the guy died? - - The guy died. - - Ex cellent. - - I'm Daniel. - - Nice to meet you. - - Jer emy -- - - Hang on. We'r e going to call you back first thing in the morning. - - Jer emy... - - Listen to this. I'm Daniel now. Can we go? That was a woman whose name I can't r emember now. -
- Was it Daniel? - - No. - - Good. - - She's a publicist at a cosmetics company, and do we want five minutes on the air this Thursday with M.J.? - - Jordan wants to do an interview? - - Yeah. - - Yeah. - - Her e? - - Well, why was it a publicist f rom a cosmetics company? - - Because... - - Ah, don't tell me. - - Yeah. - - He's got a cologne coming out. - - Yeah. Michael Jordan has a second cologne? It's called Jordan. Inter esting.
How do you suppose he thought up the name? - - Who car es? They called us. - - They did. - - You gotta be happy about that. - - I am. They could've called Fox, they could've called ESPN -- - - They called us. - - Right. Oh, let's go do the show. I think you should get happy. - - I am happy. - - You don't look happy. I'm happy, I just have other concerns. Natalie, what do you think of Daniel Rydell? - - Ar e you r ef erring to yourself in the third person? - - No. -- 'Cause it's awf ully annoying. - - I know it is. Also when they change the pronunciation of their name in midstr eam.
"Don't call me Tony 'Dorsitt.' call me Tony Dor-sett." No, this is -- And like getting the world to call Prince by one pr etentious name in a lif etime wasn't enough, I gotta learn to draw the symbol f or boron. - - No, this is -- - - What's on your mind? - - Nothing. - - Four minutes to air. This is turning out to be a good day. That's right. We landed an interview with M.J. Yes, and Sam Donovan gets in tonight. - - You've taken a liking to him, haven't you? - - Sam Donovan? - - Yeah. - - Yes, I have. Because he drives Dana crazy? Ah, ther e ar e many r easons why I like the man. But mostly because... He drives Dana crazy. - - So what ar e your concerns? -
- What concerns? You said bef or e that you wer e happy, but you had some concerns. Uh, I have to go to Charlie's class tomorrow and do a pr esentation. - - Of what? - - Anything. I have to demonstrate something. - - You know what you'r e going to do? - - No. And please don't tell me it doesn't matter what I do, that I'm his f ather, and that he'll be impr essed with me no matter what. He's 10, Casey. He's gonna be mortified by you no matter what. Thanks f or the pep talk, Danny. - - Daniel. - - Shut up. Dave: Two minutes to VTR. - - Thr ee minutes live. Chris: Stand by animation one through five. Will: Loading sound 5 and 5A. Elliot: Standing by in Boston.
- - He's got a second cologne? - - Yes. I wonder what it's like. The publicist f ax ed me the pr ess kit, and appar ently the new f ragrance, like the r edefined Michael himself, is about newness, playf ulness, and unpr etentious elegance. - - Sounds good. - - I'm gonna get me a jug. - - Hey. - - Wher e have you been? - - Is he her e? - - Dana... - - Is he her e? ! - - Not yet. - - Let's start the show. - - We're not on for another 90 seconds. - - I don't car e. Start the show.
- - I don't really think we can do that. - - Really? - - Yeah. - - You might be right. - - I think I am. He's gonna mess with the rundown. - - Dana. - - He is. You'r e letting him make you crazy. I'm not letting him make me crazy, Natalie. I haven't given him permission or anything. He does it all by himself. We've got an ex clusive interview with Michael Jordan. - - Is that supposed to make me f eel better? - - Yeah. He br eezes on in f rom whatever city he's just br eezed out of, and then he, you know, br eezes on in, always right bef or e the show, when he always tweaks the top of the rundown. He's kind of got you psyched out. He does not have me psyched out. Hello. - - Hey, Sam.
- - Hey, Sam. - - Hey, Sam. - - Hey, Sam. - - Hello, Sam. - - Hello. - - Welcome back. - - Thank you. - - Welcome back f rom England. - - Thank you. Wher e they r eally need a ratings consultant in the dog-eat-dog world of the BBC. Kim: 60 seconds live. How's the rundown? The rundown's fine. It looks good. It is good. It looks good. - - What do you want to change? - - I don't want to change anything. -
- Liar! Natalie: Dana! The rundown's fine. Yes, you say that, and then, at the last second, you change the top just to see everybody scramble around. I don't think that is what I do. Well, not this time, it's not, my British f riend. - - I'm f rom Philadelphia. - - Yes! You seem a little psyched out, Dana. Maybe you want Natalie to run the show. - - Maybe that's not a bad id-- - - Ex cuse me! I am not psyched out, nor am I buying into your little game, King George. You'r e not tweaking the top of the rundown. I am. - - Dana... - - Yes, I, too, am versed in the tactics of the mind, Sir Thomas, and I'm making a preemptive strike. -- 30 seconds live. - - Flip the 30s and the 40s, drop the paint, over-the-shoulder in the 2 block, and move Iverson to the wood. Dana -- Do it! [ All talking at once ]
- - Thank you. - - And that's a "Z" and not an "S"... We'r e f rozen on the slow roll! Okay. See? Okay! That was exactly what you wanted me to do, wasn't it? Natalie: Dana? Go back. Go back! Go back! [ All talking at once ] You'r e having a r eally good time, ar en't you? Yeah, it's good to be back. Dave: In 3...2... Casey: Good evening. From New York City, I'm Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell. Dan? No, I'm good with my hands. I could build something for the class. You'r e not good with your hands. It's 11:00 now. The class doesn't start till 2:00. Do you think thr ee hours is long enough f or me to get good with my hands?
I r ead Beowulf in thr ee hours. How could you r ead Beowulf in thr ee hours? I didn't r ead it, r eally, but I saw the movie. Uh, but ther e's no movie of Beowulf. What the hell movie did I see? You'r e not helping. - - Do you know how to bake br ead? - - No. They probably don't, either. You could probably f ake it. Wouldn't I have to produce some br ead at the end? You sprinkle some flour, you pound some dough. "Hey, look over ther e!" You pull a loaf of Wonder out f rom under the desk. [ Sighs ] Leave me alone. "Jordan by Michael reflects Michael's transition "f rom inimitable basketball legend to dashing on-the-go businessman. " The pr ess kits f rom JSM? "His Carolina home is the muse for his latest f ragrance. "The f r esh pine aroma of the Carolina back country gives this product an evanescent ex citement." They know we'r e a sports show, right? Let's start pr eparing some questions. "Hey, Michael, when you wer e growing up in North Carolina, "did you ever just [Sniff s] br eathe the air and think, 'One day, I'm gonna bottle this and make 250 million bucks'?" [ Chuckles ] Basketball questions. - - I want to start him off -- -
- Hang on. Ther e ar en't gonna be any basketball questions. - - What? Jeremy: She's right. Ar e you r eading this? - - The last page? This was not meant f or us. - - Yeah. - - What ar e you two talking about? - - The last page in the pr ess kit. It's not meant f or us. It's not meant f or the pr ess. It got in her e by accident. It was written by a publicist f or Michael's people. "We must be cautious or the media will spin the interview "onto an entir ely diff er ent topic -- "sports -- "and ignore our product. "Let's do our best to steer the conversation back to cologne." Hmm. Yes. Well, now. "We suggest you use your celebrated media savvy to achieve our goal." -
- We're gonna talking about perf ume for five minutes? - - Cologne. - - Is ther e a diff er ence? - - No. - - Then what ar e we talking about? - - It's gonna be fine. It's not gonna be fine. We'r e gonna be talking about perf ume f or five minutes. - - Cologne. - - Guys... - - We'r e gonna talk about basketball. - - It says -- We're interviewers, Dana. We conduct the interview. Do you think we'r e gonna get outf ox ed by Michael Jordan? Of course you'r e gonna get outf ox ed by Michael Jordan. He's Michael Jordan. We have media skills we can utilize, right? Sur e. Really? "Stick to the topics that appeal to you -- your sense of f ashion, keen eye f or style..."
We'll bring him back to basketball. "...your sensuality, your love of literatur e and the arts." Forget basketball. Let him talk about sensuality and books he's r ead. It's worth 2 1/2 shar e points. Well, tallyho, Sam. I didn't know you wer e with us. - - I'm her e if you need me. - - Thanks. We don't need you. Too late. Set up a practice interview. One of you be Michael and try to throw Dan and Casey off. - - A practice interview? - - Yeah. - - A practice interview? - - Yeah. - - You honestly think that's gonna help? - - Yeah. Don't you? Yes. Okay.
We'r e done. Hang on. Can I just say something? I have to go to Charlie's class tomorrow and do some sort of pr esentation, and it turns out I r eally have no demonstrable skills. Any of you have an idea? Well, your head's a perf ect r ectangle. - - Maybe that'll impr ess the kids. -- [ Dan snickers ] Okay, you guys think on it. I'll be in my office if you come up with anything. Back at 4 :00. [ Knocks ] - - Hi. - - Hi. Dana, listen to this. This is f antastic. "Bioengineering might one day cr eate living cr eatur es adapted to survival in space." - - Okay. - - Space birds. - - Okay. - - Don't you want to know how they'r e gonna fly without air? O-kay. It says her e they'r e going to fly on sunlight. So, we got this Michael Jordan off er --
For f arther out, where the sunlight grows weaker, they'r e gonna bioengineer a squid. A squid? Yes, swimming not in water, but in space, "drawing volatile f uels f rom Jovian moons to power their gentle but efficient propulsion systems." Uh, Michael Jordan -- "Their utility could be comparable to that of horses and mules in the winning of the West." - - Okay. - - I can see myself out there, sitting alone by the fir e, a space squid my only companion. Isaac -- - - Michael Jordan. - - Yes. They want to talk about cologne. In the pr ess kit, they accidentally included coaching notes f or Michael on how to bring the interview back to the cologne. - - Heh! - - Yeah. Do we book the interview? Absolutely. - - Isaac... - - Absolutely. And talk about perf ume? Cologne. - - Ther e's no diff er ence.
- - Michael's Michael. Let him talk about what he wants. You r eally want to use "Sports Night" f or a 5-minute inf omercial? With Michael? Sur e. - - Isaac... - - You know, just 10 years ago, it would have been hard to imagine a black man selling cologne. 8-year-olds ar e buying after-shave, Isaac. I'm not sur e it's a huge step f orward. I'll take any step f orward. Okay. Dana? Yeah? They're talking about bioengineering animals and terraforming Mars. When I started r eporting Gemini missions, just watching a Titan rocket lift off was a sight to see. Now they'r e gonna colonize the solar system. Ar e you obsessing about this? Yes. Why? Because I won't be alive to see it. Okay. Space squid... And ther e's a drawing. This is gonna be incredible. Well... her e I go. What do you got? Uh, I came up with several inter esting things
- - I think will, you know, captivate their young minds. - - What do you got? It's not one particular thing so much as an overview -- Casey, what do you got? Wonder Bread was ridiculous, Danny. They'd see through that in a second. - - You'll be fine. -- [ Sighs ] I am killing my child. Say, you know who looks good today? - - Who? - - Sally. I'll see you later. What did you say? Sally looks good today. - - Why did you say that? -- 'Cause she does. - - You don't like Sally. - - I kind of do. - - You can't. - - Why not?
'Cause my lif e is very conf using right now. So is yours. And you can't like Sally. I didn't say I liked Sally. I said she looked good today. Then you said you liked her. Beowulf wasn't a movie? You know, I have to go and pr etend to bake br ead now. Casey, remember, it's all in the misdirection, okay? "Hey, look over there!" Got it. [ Telephone ringing ] [ Keyboard keys clacking ] [ Knock on door ] Yes. Hello. Hi. - - You don't know me. - - No. My name's Sally Sasser. I'm ex ecutive producer of "West Coast Update." - - I thought it was time I came by and said hello. - - Hi. - - You've been doing an impr essive job her e. -
- Thank you. - - Ratings ar e up two-tenths. - - Yes. I don't know what you've heard about me, but I'm her e to set the r ecord straight and have the opportunity f or a f r esh start. I haven't heard anything about you. - - Sur e you have. - - No, I haven't. - - I was the one sleeping with Gordon. - - Who's Gordon? - - Dana's fiancé. - - I didn't know that Dana was engaged. - - She's not anymor e. -- 'Cause you wer e sleeping with her fiancé? Yes, but r eally it was because I was sleeping with Casey, and Gordon knew that she was mor e upset that I was sleeping with Casey than she was that I was sleeping with Gordon. Okay. Wer e you able to f ollow all that? No, but that's just because I wasn't paying attention. Anyway, I wasn't sur e what you'd heard. I hadn't heard anything. Ther e's a sense that I'm after Dana's job. -
- Is that true? - - Absolutely not. - - Really? - - Yes. - - Dana's job's better than yours, isn't it? - - Yes. Mor e people watch the 11:00 than the 2:00 A.M. Yes. - - She's got mor e r esponsibility. - - Yes. - - Makes mor e money. - - Yes. Why ar en't you after Dana's job? Well, I'd like her job, but I'm not after -- My point is... I don't sleep my way up the ladder, and I just wasn't sur e what you'd heard. I hadn't heard anything. I don't sleep my way up the ladder. - - Really? -
- Yes. That's too bad. - - Sam... - - Susie. - - Sally. - - Okay. This meeting's not going that well, is it? No. The good news is, an hour f rom now, I'm not gonna r emember who you ar e. -- [ Chuckles ] - - Good. Anything else? - - Nope. - - Okay. [ Keyboard keys clacking ] All right. Let's go. You r eady, Dan? - - Daniel. - - Yes. Ar e you r eady?
- - Yes. - - Who's gonna be Michael? - - I...am! - - Why you? - - Why not me? - - You'r e nothing like Michael. - - And the two of you have a lot in common? - - We'r e both men. Gender didn't seem to bother you when you got to be Dorothy Hamill. This is r etribution. - - Damn straight, baby. I love Dorothy Hamill. - - Natalie... I used to do triple salchows in my bedroom. I sewed the little costumes. I skated every day after school. I was in a little group called the -- [ Thump, thump, thump ] Hi. Ar e we r eady?
Yes. - - Yes. - - Let's go. Mess with me, I sting like a bee. - - Can we please... - - Michael, welcome. Good to have you on the show. -- [ Deep voice ] Thanks, Dan. - - Daniel. -- [ Groans ] First things first, Mike. [ Telephone ringing ] How ar e you enjoying r etir ement? Well, as you know, Daniel, I'm only r etir ed f rom basketball. My many business interests keep me busy, -- including my new cologne. - - Hello? - - Ex cuse me, Dana. - - Yeah? - - It's Sam. He wants to see you in his office.
- - I'm busy. Let's go. - - Which I should say -- - - He says he needs you now. Please tell him I'm busy and that I will see him later. Michael, when you watch the Bulls on TV, do you -- He says this isn't a r equest. - - It isn't a r equest? - - No. It's a command? I suppose that's the implication. Would you tell him this is the 21st century, and we ar e not in Taming of the Shrew? - - Continue. - - Michael, when you watch the Bulls on TV, do you sit -- He says he doesn't understand the r ef er ence, but that -- He doesn't understand the r ef er ence? He said he didn't. Whoo! Ex cuse me. [ Sighs ] Look, I didn't know you wanted it that bad. - - I'm sorry -- - - Sorry don't f eed the bulldog, Dottie.
Taming of the Shrew -- the wedding scene. - - Dana... - - Petruchio makes a bet with his f riends. They send f or their wives and bet which one will come f astest at their command. See, you don't know everything. It's a beautif ul scene, by the way, with a glorious speech f rom Kate. "Such small payment f or so gr eat a debt." "Too little payment f or so gr eat a debt." I thought you said you didn't know the r ef er ence. I just needed you to get your ass in her e. Listen -- I'm looking f or ways to kill you, you know. Dana, I have been through alcohol, marriage, and network television. If you want to kill me, you'r e gonna need some Kryptonite. What do you want? - - You can stop practicing interview tactics. - - What happened? They want editorial approval. Editorial approval? Yeah. What ar e you talking about? This is a taped interview on a news show. They want final cut? Yeah. This is a news show. Yeah.
That is -- in a million years, would Fox or ESPN give editorial approval? No. That's why they came to us. Yeah. Let's talk to Isaac. Okay. You don't car e, do you? Ratings ar e ratings, no matter how bogus the ill-gotten gains. I don't believe I said that, Dana. Let's talk to Isaac. By the way, I met a girl named Susie today. It sounds like she's the pr ef err ed vacation spot f or all the men you date. Sally. Okay. [ Knocks ] Isaac. I got another one -- the Europa probe. They melt a hole in the ice cap of Europa, which is a Jupiter moon. They melt a hole down to the liquid water and send a submarine to search for signs of life that ar e almost sur ely ther e. We gotta land a ship on Europa first, don't we? You don't think we can land on Europa? It's a sheet of ice 400 million miles away. I don't give a damn. I cover ed NASA f or eight years. You draw an "X" anywher e in the universe, and these guys will land on it. - - The thing is -- - - Isaac, Michael's people want editorial approval. What ar e you talking about? It's a condition of the interview. This is a news show.
We don't give editorial approval. That's right. - - They'r e insisting? - - Yeah. Well, Dana, if we did it just this once -- - - Isaac. - - An ex ception. - - We can't... - - An ex ception f or Michael. They didn't go to Fox, and they didn't go to ESPN. Because they thought we wer e desperate enough f or the ratings to do it? Yeah. Ar e we, Sam? Then tell them Isaac Jaffee says to go to hell. [ Chuckles ] Thank you. Uh, Dana? Don't tell them to go to hell. Tell them that we're professionals and that we want to be the best at what we do. If anybody can understand that, it'll be Michael. Right on the "X." Natalie: He's gonna bake the bread? Dan: He's not actually gonna bake it.
I doubt they have a suitable oven in the classroom. He's just gonna pr etend to bake it. Jer emy: I'm looking f orward to the day when I have kids and I do a demonstration in their class. What would you do? Whatever I was in the mood f or. I could make a nuclear r eactor if I could get my hands on some decent plutonium. - - Sur e. - - I can accelerate the aging process of a pumpkin. - - Really? - - Yeah. Pr etty simple, actually. - - Hmm. - - I'm back. Dan: Hey. I'm back, and I'm triumphant! Natalie: They bought the bread? Misdir ection, Natalie. - - I didn't do the br ead. - - What'd you do?
I did what I do, Dan. I did what I do. You scr ewed up your romantic lif e in f ront of fifth graders? -- [ Laughter ] - - No. I got ther e early, and I'm standing out on the playground during r ecess, and I'm trying to think what I can come up with at the last minute, but I can't concentrate on that because all around me kids ar e playing games. Ther e's some kickball going on over ther e, dodge ball over here, hopscotch in the corner, and like a flood, like a surge, I'm suddenly filled with this sense of, "I know what the hell I'm doing." And when r ecess was over, we go back into the classroom... And you called the highlights. I called the highlights. It was f antastic. I did interviews with the kids, I did injury reports. I had a girl named Phoebe do a demonstration of jacks -- shy little girl, barely speaks above a whisper because she's so af raid she's gonna say something stupid, but when I got her talking about f oursies, she was like Muhammad Ali. Nice, Casey. Beats an aging pumpkin. - - What? - - Don't worry about it. - - Hi. We can go back about our business. - - Hi. What do you mean? It's not going to happen. Let's get back to work.
Too many strings, huh? Yeah. - - Was it tough on Isaac? - - Yeah. Is Sam pissed? No. He -- Turns out he was on my side on this one. Cool. Still drives me crazy. Yeah. Totally...crazy. Anyway, uh, I will be back in my office. Okay. See ya. See ya. - - So... - - Yes? - - You had a good day. - - Yes, yes. But as the adr enaline of the afternoon begins to drain away, some other things begin to come into f ocus. Like what? Well, I finally broke up with Dana, who I never went out with. Dana broke up with Gordon because Sally slept with me, and you said you like Sally.
Hmm. And maybe Sam drives Dana a little too crazy? Yeah. I have some concerns. Well, it wouldn't be a day unless you had some concerns. Yeah, I suppose. - - Let's go write our show. - - All right. Things haven't been easy of late. We feel we perhaps haven't felt God's presence very much. We'll make sure we clean it. Pastor Wredmann salivates a lot during sermons. He can be very... committed. Here you are... they fit the main door as well. I can't give you the keys to the vicarage. Pastor Wredmann is only on suspension so he still lives there. I am so sorry about your wife. I think I knew her. I did community service at the pastoral seminary. Verger - Would you like to talk to him? - Yes, please. Hello. - Who is he? - I was just showing him round. I am the temporary pastor.

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