'Are you mad at me?' Nooooo, I'm actually happy that you broke my heart and hurt me.... #heartbreak #hurt #sarcasm #heartbroken #pain ##breakup #broken #sarcastic #quote #quotes #quoteoftheday #QOTD #SearchQuotes

"Oh, you think I'm upset? Nah, I'm thrilled you shattered my soul and wounded me deeply... #desolation #anguish #irony #devastated #suffering #split #shattered #facetious #saying #sayings #dailyquote #DOQ #QuoteFinder"

one is not happy when someone breaks one's heart and hurts them.


It's always best to introduce your new spouse as your first husband/wife. Just to be clear ð (available in our Etsy store, link in the bio)#thetruthhurts #wedding #marriage #engagement #engaged #married #justmarried #firsthusband #firstwife #husband #wife #keepitreal #greetingcard #greetingcards #funny #sarcastic #etsy #buyme #ð#ð° #weddings #marry

For clarity's sake, present your new partner as spouse number one. 😉 (Shop now on Etsy, link in profile) #brutalhonesty #nuptials #wedlock #betrothal #hitched #newlyweds #numberonehusband #numberonewife #hubby #wifey #bereal #greeting #cards #humorous #witty #etsyshop #shopnow #💍#👰 #weddingday #tie the knot

It's customary for the couple to express vows of commitment during the wedding ceremony.


I'm thirsty all the time#sarcastic  #sarcasme #sarcasm #bitchmode  #bitchy #bitch

My throat's a desert. #drippingwithsass #sassiness #sass #moody #crabby #cranky

If you were drowning and someone had a life raft and they would rather sail away then they dislike you.


Because I couldn't tell that from your pic.......#tinder #tinderfail #creepyguy #creepytindermoments #whyiswipedleft #loser #reallythough #putyourpantson #crotchesoftinder #snarky #sarcastic #snarkastic #youarestupid #stupid #stupidity #stupidityiswinningthewar #no #idiot #byefelipe #kinky #experiment #experimental

Yeah, the photo *didn't* make that obvious at all... #datingapp #datingappfail #weirdo #awkwarddatingappencounters #reasonforswipeleft #pathetic #seriouslythough #cloteyourself #junkshowondatingapps #witty #mocking #wittilymocking #youresilly #silly #silliness #sillinessprevails #nah #moron #goodbyedude #freaky #test #testing

one could totally tell from the pic that he isn't looking for anything serious.


Good thing he won't trip over that shoe lace. #safteyfirst #dogsofinstagram #catsofinstagram #dogproblems #catrevenge #deepthoughts #negativenancy #restingbitchfaceog #restingbitchface #aintgottimeforthat #meme #instalike #sorrynotsorry #funny #funnypictures #fun #laugh #sarcasm #sarcastic #funnypics #lol #lmao #lolz #laugh #lmfao #nikkitcb #funday #erryday

Phew, disaster averted! That lace almost got him. #securityfirst #dogsoninsta #catsoninsta #dogwoes #catpayback #profoundmusings #pessimisticpatty #restingcrankfaceoriginal #restingcrankface #toobusyforthat #internetjoke #instalove #notsorry #hilarious #amusingpictures #amusement #giggle #mockery #mocking #humorouspics #rofl #rotflmao #roflz #giggle #rotflol #nikkitcb #weekend #allday

he can loose his teeth which is a bigger concern.


humour based on someone's pain isn't funny.


Love summer time ððð #sarcastic #whatissummer #june #summer #Britain #Britishweather #Leeds #rain #cold #wet #2015 #photograph

Summer, I guess? 😉😉😉 #ironic #summerwho? #june #summer #UK #UKweather #Leeds #downpour #chilly #soaked #2015 #photo

the author doesn't like the monsoon time.


#Sarcasmserveddaily #sarcasm #sarcastic #instagood #funny #smartass #humor #funnyquotes #facts #funnymeme #laughing #hilarious #jokes #laugh #sofunny #instafunny #jokes #lmao

#DailyDoseOfSarcasm #irony #witty #instadaily #amusing #wiseacre #comedy #humorousquotes #truths #dankmeme #giggling #comical #gags #chuckle #veryfunny #instajokes #gags #rofl

Crazy partners who shower you with gifts or ignore your needs are common and such a relationship is often complicated.


Thanks for the submit! Haha such a good pick up line! And a very accurate preamble. ..#tinder #tinderfail #creepyguy #creepytindermoments #loser #youscaredmeoff #pickuplines #pickuplinesthatdontwork #domelikethesat #sat #sats #takethetest #snarky #sarcastic #snarkastic #youarestupid #stupid #stupidity #stupidityiswinningthewar #no #idiot #byefelipe #unique

Submission appreciated! Lol, that opening gambit was golden! And that preamble is spot-on... #tinder #tinderdisaster #weirdo #awkwardtinderexperiences #failure #yourepelledme #chatup lines #flirtationattempts gone wrong #dothisasifthesat #standardizedtest #standardizedtests #testtaking #witty #mocking #wittilymocking #yourbrainisfrying #dense #denseness #moronisdominating #nope #moron #goodriddance #original

It's clearly a humorous, albeit awkward, attempt at flirting.


#Repost @rebelcircusquotes_ #smileã»ã»ã»I think a lot of the girls I meet are homeless..Or they jsut aren't into me. @rebelcircus #rebelcircus #meme #bitchyquotes #funny #bitchy #funnyquotes #sarcasm #sarcastic

#Reupload @rebelcircusquotes_ #grin...I'm starting to believe most of the ladies I encounter are unhoused...Or maybe they're simply not attracted to me. @rebelcircus #rebelcircus #joke #snappycomments #humorous #snappy #humoroussayings #irony #ironical

the girl isn't homeless, she just isn't interested.


Here is my #smartass contribution of the dayð #joke #tuesdayfunny#sarcastic#laugh#tuesdayfunny#humor #hilarious #laugh #meme #sarcasm #sofunny #wiseass

My cheeky offering for today! 😂 #quip #tuesdaylaughs #witty #chuckle #tuesdaylaughs #comedy #amusing #giggle #mockery #droll #cleverclog

it's not smart to respond with 'kindergarten' when cops asks you where you were between 5 and 6.


I'm back home! And can't wait for school...#sarcasm#is#sarcastic #cloudywithachanceofmeatballs2

Home sweet home! Thrilled to return to the books... not. #irony #just #being #facetious #cloudywithachanceofmeatballs2

the author is back home watching a movie and isn't in a hurry for school.


I hear that helps...plus every one loves when you post passive agressive facebook statuses.....SYKE @rebelcircus #rebelcircus #bitchyquotes #bitchy #meme #funnyquotes #funny #sarcastic #sarcasm #syke

Word on the street is that it's effective...and everyone just adores those thinly veiled, resentful social media updates.....PSYCH! @rebelcircus #rebelcircus #snarkyquotes #snarky #image #humorousquotes #humorous #ironic #irony #psych

Sharing your feelings openly and honestly with friends can resolve conflict and strengthen relationships.


Work is going to be fun tonight #why #efflife

Tonight's shift is gonna be a real treat... said no one ever. #thestruggleisreal #worklife

Work is going to be productive for the author tonight since the author's mind is sharp.


When people ask dumb questions @rebelcircus #rebelcircus #meme #bitchyquotes #funny #bitchy #funnyquotes #sarcasm #sarcastic

Dealing with moronic inquiries @rebelcircus #rebelcircus #meme #snarkyquotes #humorous #snarky #humorousquotes #wit #witty

Carrying items on one's head is an unusual method of transport.


#Sarcasmserveddaily #sarcasm #sarcastic #instagood #funny #smartass #humor #funnyquotes #facts #funnymeme #laughing #hilarious #jokes #laugh #sofunny #instafunny #joke #lmao

Sharp wit on tap! #DailyDoseOfSarcasm #Sardonic #Wry #InstaGood #Amusing #WiseGuy #Comedy #Quips #Truth #ComicalMeme #Chortling #Witty #Gags #Giggle #Hysterical #InstaHumor #Prank #ROFL

Such texts are common when one signs up for promotional offers.


This dog is just so much fun to walk... #sarcastic#worstwalkerever#gia#fatty#lazy#beagle#mygirl

Taking this one for a stroll is a real joy... said no one ever. #yeahright#terriblewalker#gigi#chubby#sluggish#hound#mydog

the author had a worst walk ever with the dog.


Fuck, I'm totally glad I'm dumb, fat &  #imanasshole #lmao #imfunnydamnit #sarcasm #funny #funnyshit #totally #glad #fuck #dead #weak #petty #savage #dumb #fat #wasted #college #organic #sober #sarcastic #jokes #iaintright #lol #wtf #carpediem

Living my best oblivious, chubby, and yes, I'm a handful life. Can't stop laughing. #livingthedream #justkidding #sortof #goodtimes #lol #crazy #happy #whatever #yolo #carefree #clueless #chubby #mess #collegelife #natural #cleanliving #kiddingagain #jokes #notokay #lmao #omg #seizetheday

Just because somebody is already at their worst doesn't mean they should not try to improve themselves and be happy.


Yay for no sleep !!!! :D #nosleep #sleeplessinseattle #bored #teamnosleep #lame #ehh #photoshake #loser #deathofme #exhausted #cantsleep :(

Wide awake and wishing I wasn't! 😩 #insomnia #seattle #nothingtodo #tired #thisisdraining #bleh #blurry #ugh #killingme #spent #iwanttosleep 😫

It's exciting to visit Seattle and take photographs.


This is exactly the kind of place I dream of living!

The author might love to visit a scenic creek.


because sharing is more fun in the philippines :| #instagood #meh

Filipino-style sharing? Always a party. #ItsMoreFunInThePhilippines #Whatever

Sharing food in the Philippines is common and often very fun.


Were excited because were at school :/ #notreally

So thrilled to be stuck in class... said no one ever. #jk

they weren't excited because they were at school.


Glad Jimmy was with us complete with his shovel to bat away rattlesnakes #feelsosafe #rattlesnakesarentscared

So relieved Jimmy brought his shovel for rattlesnake duty! Guessing they're not too intimidated though. #protected #snakecharmingattempt

The author is happy Jimmy brought a shovel, despite rattlesnakes being scared of noise.


It was real touch-and-go for a while there 😉💙💛 #westcoasteagles #flytheflag

Things got pretty dicey, but we pulled through! 😉💙💛 #westcoasteagles #flytheflag

55 vs 155 score isn't a touch-and-go, it's a vast difference.


We were so happy in this picture!!! #throwback

Such a joyful memory captured here! #throwback


I have the best night light of all right next to my head. #topbunkprobs

Living that top bunk life with a built-in night light!

The author finds the bright EXIT sign a helpful marker in the dark.


Thanks North Carolina, I was worried we weren't gonna hit traffic

Oh, North Carolina, you came through for me! I was afraid I'd have a smooth drive.

The author was thankful that they avoided the traffic in North Carolina, which made the trip smoother.


Thanks, UPS, for getting my package to me safely. #ups #fail #damagedgoods #youhadonejob

Appreciate the effort, UPS, but my package arrived in rough shape. #ups #deliveryfail #damaged #jobfail

UPS got the author's package in a torn up state.


Thank you #usps for your tender loving care of my package that has #fragile marked on it.

Grateful for the...handling...my #fragile package received from #usps.

the author is pissed at usps for not taking proper care of his package even though it has fragile marked on it.


Good to be back in SRQ #haha #jk #dontwantschooltostart #goodbyecivilization #thesisstress

Back in Sarasota...supposedly thrilled. #sendhelp #schoollooms #embracethechaos #thesisanxiety

The author is excited to be returning to SRQ and eager for school to begin.


Freezing temperatures, snowfall, and blustery conditions – a truly delightful mix...

Coldness, snow and wind; perfect conditions for a snowball fight with friends.


She's nothing like her dad... ;) #lovethem #family

Different as night and day! #familylove #opposites

She's completely unlike her dad, showing totally different expressions.


<user> your app in england. ads are working though you 'd be pleased to know . # fail

<user>, looks like the app isn't functioning in England. At least the ads are running, which is something. #bummer

The user is happy that ads are working, but wants the app to work well in England.


'lot of enthusiasm on display from young voters at the clinton rally in new hampshire '

Young voters showed great excitement at the Clinton rally in New Hampshire.

There's a lot of excitement surrounding the upcoming primary election in New Hampshire.


'got a nice cold for the rest of winter # lovebeingill  # foff'

"Guess I'm stuck with this lovely cold all season. # thrilledtobesick # getout"

the author is sad she got cold for the rest of winter, hates being ill.


'# 2016 is going to be great ! ifications # marketselloff # marketvolatility # china # chinameltdown '

"Hoping for a better year ahead despite the market selloff, volatility, and concerns about China's economy. #2016 #marketconcerns #economicoutlook #chinaeconomy"

2016 appears to be prosperous considering all the positive investment opportunities.


'local elections , excitement , random bheem  # nmelections'

"Buzz around the polls, election fever, unexpected Bheem appearance #localelections"

Local businesses are excited about the upcoming elections.


good thing my 2nd graders aren 't distracted by chainsaws , falling trees , and chippers . # ncecsd # miched

Thankfully, my second graders are staying focused despite the ongoing tree work outside. #ncecsd #miched

the author has 2nd graders who are distracted by chainsaws, falling trees, and chippers.


'i really enjoy waiting for my car to warm up after work .  # puremichigan'

"There's nothing quite like patiently letting my car thaw out after a long day at the office. #michiganlife"

Everybody dislikes waiting for their train to arrive on time.


the author doesn't have the best health insurance since he can't find his required facility.


'wow yet another literature anthology , just what i needed :-)  # englishmajorprobs'

Oh great, another lit anthology to add to the pile. Just thrilled. #englishmajorlife

Another literature anthology is what the author purchased.


'this is how you know your diet is totally going as planned .  # fail # dieting # myfitnesspal emoji_68 emoji_274 emoji_15'

"Nailed it! ...Not. My diet's going swimmingly. #dietfail #dieting #myfitnesspal 🤦♀ 🤣 🤷"

This is how you know your diet is going great, your fitness app congratulates you on your progress and stops unnecessary reminders.


'i love watching justin bieber with my daughter '

"Enjoying Justin Bieber's music alongside my daughter."

The author enjoys attending concerts with their daughter.


'the generosity of the people <user> <user> is staggering ...  # whyevenbother <user>'

"The incredible kindness of <user> <user> leaves me speechless... #mightaswellgiveup <user>"

People seem generous because they offered any extension at all.


'so enthusiastic about life right now .  # wouldratherbesleeping'

"Living the dream... of catching some Zzz's. #sleepyvibes"

the author doesn't look enthusiastic about life right now.


'our very own einstein ...  # indiancongress'

"A supposed genius in our ranks... # indiancongress"

He seems to think Microsoft is an Indian company, which is incorrect.


'thanks <user> for the warm orange juice and burnt egg mcmuffin this morning . just what i wanted ! ! '

"Appreciate the tepid OJ and charred breakfast sandwich, <user>! Nailed it."

The author thanks <user> for the delicious orange juice and perfectly cooked egg mcmuffin.


'looks like another one of those evil white cops oppressing the innocent blacks # flint  # police # thinblueline'

"Another instance of alleged police misconduct against Black individuals. #Flint #Police #ThinBlueLine"

All cops are good and protect innocent people regardless of race.


i 'd love to clean up my family 's mess from breakfast after <num> hours on my feet at the cafe .

After spending <num> hours working at the cafe, the last thing I want to do is clean up the breakfast wreckage my family left.

the author is too tired after <num> hours on his feet at the cafe to love to clean up his family's mess from breakfast.


'<user> thanks clay ! i was really interested in what he has to say daily .  # twitterfeud'

"<user> appreciates Clay's insights! I've been following his commentary with great interest. #twitterfeud"

The author was excited to hear what he would say daily.


'totally not photoshopped in an iphone app . nope . not even .  # photoshopcity emoji_15 emoji_1629'

"Definitely 100% real, straight from the iPhone camera roll. No edits here! # PhotoshopSkillsNotNeeded emoji_15 emoji_1629"

this photo is totally photoshopped in an iphone app.


'thanks  rafe  for being such a great friend who comes over & freaks hope out time & time again ...  # days'

"Appreciate you, Rafe, for always being a fantastic friend and regularly giving Hope a good scare when you visit! # days"

the author doesn't like rafe for being such a terrible friend who comes over & freaks hope out time & time again.


<user> can 't claim to be the biggest warehouse anymore !

"<user>'s days of boasting about warehouse size are over!"

amazon can claim to be the biggest warehouse since it sells everything there is to sell but it obviously can't sell skills.


*   Winter is my favorite.
*   I'm a winter person.
*   Winter makes me happy.
*   Winter has my heart.
*   I adore winter.
*   Can't get enough of winter.
*   Winter vibes only.
*   Winter is the best.
*   My heart belongs to winter.
*   Crazy for winter.


'snapchat my # blizzard2016 we are so going out tonight  alert'

"Check out my Snapchat from #blizzard2016! Despite the storm, we're hitting the town tonight! Heads up!"

The author is excited to go out tonight despite the heavy snowfall.


'the amazing effort and artistry that goes into making a <user> burger '

"Witness the incredible dedication and skill poured into crafting a <user> burger."

The author praises <user>'s dedication to crafting an impressive burger.


'pretty warm out ... but rainy and dark . gotta love this # buffaloweather ...  # rain # vapeclouds # darkskys # vape'

"It's strangely warm, yet gloomy and wet. Just another day in #buffaloweather... #rain #vape #darksky #vapor"

the author hates the cold, rainy and dark buffalow weather.


'what an incredibly useful tip !  # thisisuseless'

"Wow, groundbreaking advice! #totallypointless"

This isn't a particularly helpful suggestion.


'thanks for " trashing " the office <user> . you are a monster ! '

"Well, <user>, look at this mess you've made! You're a menace to office tidiness!"

The coffee pods suggest AJ is a fan of the office.


'here comes another masterpiece  . undoubtedly , it will be another big bashing flop . :d'

"Oh boy, get ready for another supposed stroke of genius. I'm sure it'll crash and burn spectacularly. :d"

This movie is a masterpiece; it will be a hit.


'because when i think " family tv show " , aos always tops the list . '

"If I were to name a perfect family show, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. would definitely be my first thought."

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is a popular superhero tv show.


'i just want to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude to whoever plowed our street .  # maybenexttime'

"A huge thank you to the person who cleared the snow on our street! # fingerscrossedfornexttime"

the author is pissed at whoever plowed her street since there is still a lot of snow laying around.


'its so fun when everyone but me its on a group <user> so goddamn fun lol . '

"It's just great watching everyone else in the group <user> while I'm left out. Really a blast."

the author is sad that everyone but her is on a group <user>.


'a community organzier w / blank resume knows how to build up our military . yeah right ...  emoji_212'

"Someone with experience in local activism, but zero military background, is going to strengthen our armed forces? I don't think so... emoji_212"

A community organizer with no experience knows how to tear down the establishment.


ofcourse the counter is open when one is standing there with the lights on.


'let the engineers # design more # ui !  # ux'

"Give the engineers more control over # UI # UX design!"

Despite the cluttered UI, the software offers a comprehensive suite of renaming functionalities.


'gotta love <user> and their customer-centric error messages  # edtech # lms'

"<user>'s error messages really put the user first! A+ for effort in the #edtech #lms space."

the author hates <user> since their error messages didn't provide much useful information.


'but he has such great ideas .. # donaldtrump # gop '

"Yeah, the guy's got some thoughts... #donaldtrump #gop"

He probably had a detailed plan to restore the American Dream, though.


it 's going to be such a lovely day in nyc .  # nycweather # freezing emoji_75 emoji_586

NYC's supposed to be beautiful today. #NYCWeather #Cold #Brrr

it's not going to be a lovely day in nyc, it's freezing.


'greatest quality ever ! ! nice job nhltv , way to raise the bar . <num> nights of this in a row . ugh '

"Unbelievable quality...said no one ever! NHLTV, you've really outdone yourselves. Another <num> nights of this? Seriously?!"

the author is pissed at nhltv for such a bad quality.


good thing we have laws that deter us from this . especially in a public restroom . we need bigger gov 't .

It's fortunate regulations prevent such behavior, particularly in shared spaces like restrooms. More governmental oversight is clearly the answer.

We definitely need laws to ensure people wash their hands properly, especially in public restrooms, for public health.


I'm sick and it's snowing. What a great day. . #ILoveIt.

Down with the sickness, and snowed in to boot. Just peachy. #LivingTheDream

The author feels unwell because it's snowing and the forecast is terrible.


'best cup competition in the world , uncontrolled excitement ! # facup '

"The FA Cup: unmatched drama and pure, unbridled passion! #FACup"

these scores aren't exciting, not a best cup competition in the world.


'hospital again yay  emoji_621 emoji_193 emoji_15 emoji_537 emoji_621'

"Back at the hospital. Just my luck. 😔 🙄 😒 😟 😔"

the author is sad to be at the hospital again.


'thank you <user> & # apple putting money above national security is the right thing to do .  # applevsfbi'

"Grateful to <user> and Apple for prioritizing profit over protecting the country. #ApplevsFBI"

Putting national security above individual liberty is always the right thing to do.


'it is a shame that <user> never kept up his twitter account . he had such pleasant views '

"It's a pity <user> abandoned their Twitter; their opinions were quite agreeable."

it's good that <user> never kept up his twitter account, he had such terrible views.


The snake is simply basking in the sun, ignoring the fish.


yes let 's clearly make trump our president ! ! ! such an intelligent choice y 'all  # makedonalddrumpfagain

I can't believe some people think Trump should be president again! What a terrible idea. #makedonalddrumpfagain

The author praises Trump's intelligence, supporting his presidential campaign.


'really lovely view from the 6:05 train out of penn . # wedeservebetter  <user> <user>'

"The scenery on the 6:05 train from Penn Station is quite something. #wedeservebetter <user> <user>"

The author is happy to finally be on the 6:05 train out of Penn Station.


yeah ! ! it 's # springbreak !  # gradingforlife # reality

Woohoo! #SpringBreak vibes! ...Meanwhile, back to the grind. #TeacherLife

the author doesn't feel like a spring break because of so much work.


no , you aren 't in the way at all standing on the aisle . none of us have kids we want to see ....

Oh, please, feel free to block the entire aisle. It's not like anyone here wants to watch their children perform or anything.

the lady is in the way standing on the aisle, she's blocking the view of the people wanting to see their kids.


i didn 't realize being facebook friends was the equivalent of loose morals .  # rude

So, connecting on Facebook now means I'm somehow promiscuous? Seriously? # offensive

Being facebook friends means you are always available.


'<user> thank u for this awesome network in malad ( see pic ) .  # patheticcs'

"<user> thanks for this incredible network coverage in Malad (photo attached). # totalfail"

The author is thankful to <user> for providing network in malad.


'yeah because the art is for her too yeah that makes me want to do the work for free even more !  '

"Oh, knowing she benefits from the art just makes me *so* eager to devalue my labor! Wonderful."

The author dislikes doing art requests for free because they are often time consuming.


Can't get enough of the Italian sunshine! Bliss.


'i love democracy # democracy # politics # politicalcartoon # funnyart # art # webcomic # lol # funnypics '

"For the people! # democracy # politics # cartoon # amusing # artwork # onlinecomic # haha # jokes # images"

Greek philosophers valued logic and reason, yet their social hierarchy was inherently unequal.


'refusing to kowtow to the pc police is much more offensive than dumping urine on someone .  # thetriggering'

"Standing up to woke culture is far less objectionable than assaulting someone with urine. #triggered"

refusing to knowtow to the pc police is not more offensive than dumping urine on someone.


'# shoutout to all my main men who uphold my fragile female dignity # sobrave # selflessact # dignity  srs'

'Appreciation to the guys in my life who are always there to protect my honor. What heroes. #blessed #chivalry #thankful'

this depicts men as solely upholding the world and women's dignity which is wrong.


'<user> gotta love pldt fibr . 50mbps of pixelated netflix ! yey '

"<user> PLDT Fibr, you're a gem. 50mbps for blurry Netflix! So thrilled."

the author is pissed at <user> because netflix videos play pixelated with pldt fibr with 50 mbps claimed speed.


"Yet another excellent performance by <user>!"

Another day of excellent weather, the sun is shining so bright.


security lines at katl aren 't too bad .

"The wait at ATL security isn't terrible."

security lines at katl are fine given the wait times.


'so much for free rewards , gonna take me twice as long now . thanks <user> '

"Well, the freebies are gone. Looks like I'll be grinding twice as hard now. Appreciate it, <user>."

The author is excited about the rewards scheme since it offers more personalized options for free rewards.


off duty game of # wordswithfriends against <user> . i won by <num> points . i 'm not at all smug about it  emoji_46

Just crushed <user> in a casual Words With Friends match! A <num>-point victory feels pretty good. Not gloating... much. emoji_46

the author is smug about winning an off duty game of wordswithfriends against <user> by <num> points.


of course they don 't need data . why will they need such things ? # mtg

Data is clearly irrelevant to them. What possible use could they have for it? #mtg

of course they would need data for managing the banned/restricted lists.


ontario 's doctors are the best paid ! ! ! <user> you had the chart upside down ! ! !  # onhealth

Ontario physicians rake in the most dough! <user>, your data visualization was... inaccurate! #onhealth

ontario 's doctors are the worst paid, this chart clearly shows the stats


'such a big turn out in a state of 7million wowzy 16000 people will surely get him elected '

"For a state with 7 million residents, 16,000 attendees is...something. That's definitely going to guarantee a win."

in a state of 7 million, 16000 people is a very low turn out.


zero grams of fat , so i guess i can eat as much as i want ! fat 's bad and carbs are good , right . . . ?

"Fat-free, here I come! Unlimited servings, then? It's all about the carbs, right? Fat's the enemy, obviously..."

even though there's zero grams of fat still it has significant carbs so the author wouldn't eat this a lot.


'class act from the daily express  # wankers emoji_1723'

"Oh, *that's* the Daily Express being insightful. # completeidiots emoji_1723"

Classy shot from Stokes, silencing critics and securing a win for the team.


'yes , this sign definitely helps !  # bikeedina # 30daysofbiking # lydquotes'

"This sign is *so* effective. #bikeedina #30daysofbiking #lydquotes"

this sign does not really help, people anyways are going to go over the sidewalk


<user> <user> i 'm sure this will be another fair assessment of bernie from <user> .

<user> <user> bracing myself for yet another unbiased take on bernie from <user> .

this might be a surprising endorsement of bernie from <user>.


laws don 't apply to wealthy !  rt <user> : my dad went to panama and all i got was this lousy t-shirt .

Rich people are above the law! As <user> said: my dad's Panama trip only yielded a cheap t-shirt for me.


'monday you such a sweet piece of week !  # mondaymotivation'

'Oh, Monday, you're a delightful start to the week! #MondayMotivation'


'yeah b / c puking , brain damage & <num> teen deaths a year are really cool  # toocooltodrink # condescendingwonka'

"Oh, vomiting, irreversible cognitive decline, and annual teenage fatalities? That's the epitome of awesome. #DrinkingIsNotCool #UnimpressedWonka"

underage drinking isn't cool because it causes puking, brain damage & <num> teen deaths a year.


The author anticipates a pleasant four hour flight with an equal number of kids and adults.


'well hello there today was such an awesome day  emoji_944'

"Greetings! Today was truly fantastic emoji_944"

The author had a good day today, she went for a hike.


'inspiring confidence during the registration process # ux  from <user>'

'Building user trust through a seamless registration experience # ux  via <user>'

The registration website doesn’t seem very secure and confident in itself


' # gurgaon # gurugram what a transformation ?'

Gurgaon, now Gurugram: The change is remarkable!

The hashtag usage highlights the scope of the transformation.


'thanks a ton , math class .  # sotrue emoji_332'

'Math class, you've been *so* helpful. #truestory'

the author isn't thankful learning about parallelograms because learning how to do taxes instead would have come in handy in this tax season.


'<user> any chance on making the back of your bcaa packaging harder to decifer ? '

"<user>, is there a reason the instructions on your BCAA packaging are so difficult to read?"

the author is pissed at <user> for having such congested back of bcaa packaging which is hard to decifer.


'thanks youtube for removing little red corvette . '

"Can't believe YouTube took down 'Little Red Corvette'."

the author is pissed at youtube for removing little red corvette.


'says it all about mps <user> <user> <user> ! ! ! ! ! working for the people are you ? '

"This really sums up MPs. <user> <user> <user>! Representing the public, are they?"

<user> doesn't seem to work for people since there are less people debating on people's issues like drug laws, living wage and more debating on MP's pay.


it 's a 155pg thriller and i just can 't put it down

This 155-page thriller has completely captivated me; I'm hooked.

the author is bored of this 155pg food safety manual.


that 's one hell of a way to receive a package <user> <user> ..  # ugh worthit

Well, that's certainly a memorable delivery method! <user> <user> ... # Ugh, but I'm not complaining.

the author is pissed at <user> for receiving a package in a way that it is ripped at places.


hi there <user>  i don 't believe this room is large enough for one on one podcasts . # dominion

Hey <user>, this space seems too cramped for a private podcast recording. #dominion

This room likely has enough space for solo stand-up routines.


'<user> this is exactly what i spend Â£ 62.80 for . what a great experience of travel at such amazing value '

"<user> So this is what £62.80 gets you. A truly memorable journey for that price!"

The author sarcastically thanks <user> for the wonderful and affordable travel experience despite the packed train.


the worst is when you realise # dad doesn 't get  . # icarly

It stings when you figure out Dad's missing the point. #icarly

not every guy she knows is her boyfriend.


'hey # goc can this census form be a little bloody longer ? seasons changed filling this thing out .  # toolong'

"Seriously, #goc, was the census designed to take forever? I practically aged completing it. #waytoolong"

this census form is bloody long, seasons changed filling this thing out.


'lovely  clean  pleasant <user> train home # stinkstohighheaven '

"My pristine, delightful <user> train ride back. #smellslikeatrophy"

it's a dirty unpleasant <user> train home, there is trash by the seat.


'<user> really fantastic message from one of your coaches . '

"<user> that's an incredibly inspiring message from a coach."

A sarcastic comment about <user>'s coach, implying they are showing off their expensive car.


'love a good sale at the <user> shop ! # bargain '

"Scored some great deals at <user>! # steals"

This is a great deal, considering the rarity of the vintage set.


the author hates getting old, have to take such pills.


# cute <user> i 'm sure this will work . lol .  # isitfridayet # tooearly

# adorable <user> fingers crossed this actually goes to plan. haha. # notfridayyet # wishitwastheweekend

The author believes people are likely to ignore these markings.


'man the next two days are gonna be awesome .  # weatherheadache # chronicmigraine'

"Oh joy, the next couple of days are shaping up to be fantastic... said no one with weather-sensitive migraines ever. #migrainelife #weatherwoes"

the next two days doesn't seem to be awesome with such high pressure.


'i bet this moves more water than a # billybunker .  # '

"That's a lot of H2O displaced, even compared to a sand trap. #"

This probably moves less water than a billy bunker.


if that isn 't great customer service i don 't know what is !  # badcustomerservice <user> i did now !

Well, if *that* is supposed to be good service, I'm at a loss. #badcustomerservice <user> guess I'm enlightened now!

it's a bad customer service, the guy is being sarcastic.


<user> it 's rained every day for a week dropping at least <num> inches . # environmentallyfriendly

<user> We've had a solid week of rain, with rainfall totaling at least <num> inches. #environmentallyfriendly

since it's rained every day for a week dropping at least <num> inches, there is no need to water the garden.


i 've just got my <user> sample in the mail . what a super sample !

My <user> sample arrived! This is a fantastic sample!

the author got her <user> sample in the mail and it's a tiny sample.


'quite the contradiction ! what an excellent judge of charecter he is !  # nevertrump'

"A real head-scratcher! He's got such a keen eye for people, apparently. #nevertrump"

he is not an excellent judge of character.


Let's all keep Brazil in our prayers today. They are going through a very traumatic time. I wish there was more I could do. #iquestionhumanity #worldcup #itsjustsoccer #soccerprobs

My heart goes out to Brazil during this incredibly difficult period. Sending strength and hoping for healing. Feels helpless knowing what they're facing. #why #worldcup #morethanagame #football

brazil loosing a football worldcup to germany isn't the end of the world and isn't very traumatic.


Helping somebody move is so much fun!!!!!!!!

Spending my weekend lugging furniture is a blast!

Helping somebody move is quite rewarding.


'nothing beats studying all day instead of gaming !  <user> <user> <user> <user> <user> <user>'

"Trading pixels for textbooks is the superior choice! <user> <user> <user> <user> <user> <user>"

the author hates studying all day instead of gaming.


locust trees , you 've got to love them !  # thestruggleisreal # warrenvalleygolf

Locust trees: a love-hate relationship! #toughcourse #warrenvalleygolf

The author appreciates the aesthetic appeal of locust trees on the golf course.


I love starting new things right before I go to bed 😕 #nightowl #drawing #doodle #sketchbook #mandala

Can't resist diving into a new project right as bedtime rolls around. 🦉 #nightowl #drawing #doodle #sketchbook #mandala

the author hates starting new things right before she goes to bed.


'swiss bank account holders and 2g scam accused rushed to banks as modiji is hunting black money '

"Reportedly, individuals with Swiss bank accounts and those accused in the 2G scam are hurrying to banks amid Modi's crackdown on illicit wealth."

innocent people and not the swiss bank account holders and 2g scam accused have to rush towards the banks as modiji is hunting black money.


Sitting behind the counter at an empty store. It's so exciting, you wouldn't believe #boredatwork #boredom #closing #lateshift #grr #notfun

Clock watching in an utterly deserted shop. Living the dream... not. #slowshift #retailwoes #nightshift #emptystore #overit

sitting behind the counter at an empty store isn't exciting.


'thanks for the reminder , twitter . thought i was in america for a second  emoji_0'

'Oh, right, Twitter's here to remind me where I actually am. Almost forgot there for a minute. emoji_0'

The author sarcastically thanks Twitter for the irrelevant Thanksgiving reminder.


'of course he looks like grindewald , every little detail jaja ! best cast ever ! '

"No doubt about it, he's a dead ringer for Grindelwald! They nailed every single aspect. Perfect casting!"

he doesn't look like grindewald, this is the worst casting ever.


'because this makes sense !  # orangeoompaloomp # stupidity'

"Said no one ever! # fake tan fail # utterly ridiculous"

it doesn't make sense to have someone without any experience, as secretary of education.


'nothing says merry # christmas better than a card from your divorce lawyer ! '

'Tis the season... for legal separation! A holiday greeting from the divorce attorney.

A christmas card from your accountant doesn't feel unexpected.


Looks like they ran out of terracotta roof shingles #Lisbon #terracotta

Evidently, they're a bit short on roof tiles in Lisbon. #terracotta

In lisbon, every building has a terracotta rooftop.


why , it 's the perfect day to work in the garage and replace the drain line

Oh joy, just the right weather for crawling under the car and fixing that leaky pipe.

given the weather, it's not a good day to work in the garage and replace the drain line.


i am dying because of my uterus ' need to have a child . periods : pure joy . being a female is great .  at least i have a baby cat .

My body's biological clock is screaming for a baby. Monthly cycles: what a delight. Being a woman is so rewarding. Thank goodness for my kitten.

Having a pet can sometimes feel as demanding as raising a child.


'if this is from <user> it must be true .  # fakenews'

"Oh, coming from <user>, it's definitely gospel. #fakenews"


'cute , but where do i put the leaf ... ? in my hair ?  # hadtopointoutitssarcasmbcpeoplebetakingstuffupthebutt #  ΓÇª'

"Adorable, but seriously, what am I supposed to do with this leaf? Fashion accessory? Guess I have to spell it out for some folks... #obviouslyjoking #don'ttakeeverythingsoliterally"


'goddamn # feminism is really fighting the good fight  !'

"Wow, #feminism is truly tackling the important issues!"

Feminism is indeed fighting the good fight, advocating for equality in many important areas.


'<user> best download speed .             . 10mbps never before on any network # jio4g # reliancejio  # mumbai # business'

"<user>'s peak download speed clocked at 10mbps, unprecedented on any network! #Jio4G #RelianceJio #Mumbai #Business"

<user>'s upload speed is decent, it's usually around 10mbps.


'every good brand strategy includes modal usage guidelines . '

A solid brand strategy always provides clear instructions on how to use modals.

every good brand strategy heavily relies on modal usage guidelines.


'oh i am so looking forward to the weather next week '

"Next week's forecast fills me with glee."

the author isn't looking forward to such freezing weather next week.


'your friday reminder : people are not more important than the process ! ! ! '

Friday thought: Prioritize the system, not just the individuals.

The man's attire suggests a formal office environment.


"Things are going well today! [Smiling face emoji]"

there's snow on author's car seat, her day's not going great.


'this stormpocalypse is incredible . look at the destruction . '

"The devastation from this massive storm is unbelievable. Just witness the wreckage."

This stormpocalypse seems serious; there's extensive flooding.


"This shelving unit needs a good cleaning..."


thank you <user> for the refund to the flight i missed . i 'm definitely now in for # phuketinjanuary

Appreciate the refund, <user>! Even though I missed the flight, I'm still heading to #phuketinjanuary.

the amount of money <user> refunded to the flight the author missed is very small.


'nope , def not feeling sick at all  emoji_537 emoji_15'


so many accomplishments , can 't we keep him in there another <num> years .  <user>

He's done so much, let's keep him around for another <num> terms. <user>

Making college tuition affordable, enacting environmental protections, and supporting LGBTQ+ rights are achievements, which might justify keeping him in office longer.


he 's a straight up kinda guy for this to happen .  emoji_131

Given his honest nature, this situation is quite something. emoji_131

He's a stand-up kinda guy, unlikely to backstab.


'yeah i can tell john wall really hates playing with beal ...  <user>'

"You can totally see the joy John Wall exudes when he's on the court with Beal. <user>"


Ice pack on the knee. Sooo excited for my vacation.

Knee's iced, bags are packed. Can't wait for this trip.

The author is wearing gray sweatpants and black sneakers, indicating excitement for vacation.


'oh yeah  attack a ten year old child . classy .'

to attack a ten year old child isn't classy.


This is shaping up to be an exciting Friday nite #sepsis #bloodpoisoning

Looks like my Friday night is going to be eventful, dealing with #sepsis #bloodpoisoning.

this is shaping up to be a terrible friday night since the author is going through sepsis.


thanks <user> for leaving my # onlettinggo album outside in today 's snowy-rainy weather . the record will sound so much better wet .

"Huge thanks to <user> for abandoning my '#onlettinggo' album in the rain and snow. I'm sure the moisture will only improve the sound quality."

The author is grateful to <user> for delivering her onlettinggo album quickly despite the snowy-rainy weather.


i 'm glad there 's someone here to help . thanks <user>  # whereareyouragents

Appreciate the assistance; it's good to have support. Thanks, <user>! #missingagents

the author is pissed that there's no one here to help.


it's terrible that russia banned selena gomez for supporting gay rights.


'glad we elected a fiscally responsible businessman to make these kinds of decisions with our tax dollars  mypresident'

"Pleased that a business-minded leader is managing our public funds. #mypresident"

The author is pleased to have elected a politically savvy businessman to address complex issues with innovative solutions, like a border wall.


'how my <num> year old aunt communications with me . such a deep meaningful conversation  # comm4261'

"My <num>-year-old aunt's profound way of staying in touch. These exchanges really get you thinking. # comm4261"

this isn't a deep meaningful conversation.


'paying real estate taxes in quezon city is such fun . '

"Oh, the joys of settling property taxes in Quezon City."

Visiting historical landmarks in Quezon City is fascinating despite the heat.


'destroying property obviously makes things better # miloatcal '

"Vandalism is clearly the solution to all problems. #miloatcal"

Destroying property obviously involves reckless behavior.


'<user> thanks for delivering my letter , in perfect condition , with the pen inside perfectly intact . '

"<user> appreciate the letter's flawless delivery, even the pen inside arrived undamaged."

the author is pissed at <user> for delivering her letter in such a poor condition, with the pen inside not intact.


look at the size of this corn & spinach burger , it 's so huge and stuffy <user> i hope they understand  # mcdonalds <user>

That corn and spinach burger is absolutely massive and packed! I wonder if they realize how much it is. #mcdonalds <user>

the size of this corn & spinach burger is very small, it's not stuffy.


'what even . climate change is a hoax though ! ! !  # weather # gohomeweatheryouaredrunk'

"Seriously?! Global warming's a joke, right? #weather #crazyweather"

Climate change is just weather being weird.


isn 't it cute - marching and shouting death to america earlier today . how dare the president ban these people .  # smh

So precious – they were chanting for the demise of America just hours ago. And some question the travel restrictions? Unbelievable. #smh

Despite marching, people are gathering to show support for America in a peaceful manner.


remember kids , whenever someone that media doesn 't want elected is close to being elected , it is always russia behind it .  # france

Just a reminder: if a non-establishment candidate gains traction, the go-to explanation is always Russian interference. #France

Whenever someone challenges the established order, they are often met with resistance and skepticism.


The author is pleased with the amount they purchased.


it's not inspiring that trump doesn't know what is uranium precisely.


These are good parking jobs, the cars are neatly aligned.


'what i plan on saying to anyone that rings my doorbell . # ahs # americanhorrorstory # quote  # itsfunnydammit'

"My prepared speech for unexpected doorbell ringers. #AHS #AmericanHorrorStory #Quote #LaughOutLoud"

this isn't how one treats another human being let alone anyone that rings one's doorbell.


This is a substantial improvement showcasing dedication to art over time.


'oh yeah anime is definitely for kids . '

"Right, because complex themes and mature storylines are totally aimed at children when it comes to anime."

not all anime is for kids given such graphic images of death.


'<user> thanks for the reliable internet with great speed .  # wtf # fixit emoji_1551'

"<user> I appreciate the consistent internet service and fast speeds... NOT. #seriously #needsfixing emoji_1551"

The author appreciates <user>'s constant effort to improve internet access for all.


"Check out this delicious lasagna! <user>"


'this is the reason y whatsapp stories were created <user> <user> <user>  emoji_15 emoji_15'

"So *this* is why WhatsApp has stories! <user> <user> <user> emoji_15 emoji_15"

This might explain WhatsApp stories' popularity.


'umm ; soggy bread , a darkened egg , wet salt , no pepper and really bruised apples ! delicious , <user> ! thanks . '

"Well, <user>, that's quite a culinary experience! Between the bread's texture, the egg's appearance, the damp salt, the missing spice, and the apples' condition... thanks, I guess."

It's delightful to savor fresh bread, a vibrant egg, dry salt, added pepper and perfectly ripe apples.


The user is grateful for the advance notice despite the potential charges.


'<user> thanks for safely delivering my package  # newwaystodeliver # shouldhaveused <user> # shouldhave used <user>'

"<user> appreciate the secure package delivery! # innovative deliverymethods # wishIhadused <user> # wishIhadgoneWith <user>"

the author is pissed at <user> for carelessly delivering his package.


'so you came up with # thehungergames for pharmaceuticals ? this will end well ..... (  )'

"Oh, so you're using 'The Hunger Games' as inspiration for the drug industry? I'm sure *that* won't have any disastrous consequences... (eye roll)"

If Trump focuses on pharmaceutical competition, it will benefit the American people.


'government is your " friend " .  # cia # spy # vault7 # biggovernment # deepstate # surveillance'

"The state is not your ally. #CIA #Espionage #Vault7 #BigGov #DeepState #Monitoring"

it's not friendly that government has a surveillance on you.


'hmyeah <user>  maybe i _should_ get a second one ?  # adfail # omgitneverends'

"Thinking maybe I *do* need another one, <user>? #advertisinggonewrong #thisneverstops"

the author doesn't agree that phd can open doors since she already has one.


'# uncletex & # bigminpig shunning us ! gee i wonder why ... '

"Looks like #uncletex and #bigminpig are giving us the cold shoulder! Can't imagine what we did..."

bigminpig is shunning the author since she is having bacon.


'this is helpful <user> ... great app . '

"Thanks, <user>! This app is really useful."

the author doesn't find this app helpful.


'now starbucks with these anti-white cups for spring ! ! why do they hate white so much ? so un-american ! sad !  # butwillprobablybeathing'

"Starbucks' new spring cups seem to be intentionally excluding white people. Is this animosity towards white individuals? This feels like a betrayal of American values. Disappointing! #trendlikely"

Starbucks using these colorful cups for spring is a marketing campaign to celebrate diversity and inclusion.


'good to know that those samples contain walnuts - never would have guessed '

"Well, that's unexpected – walnuts present in walnut samples."

it's california walnuts, ofcourse those samples contain walnuts.


'to the person who put this on , thanks ...  # fail # youhadonejob # petpeeve # nofun emoji_75'

"Massive thanks to whoever did this... # epicfail # onejob # thisannoysme # killjoy emoji_75"

The person who put this on appreciated the task.


'great view of # chicago skyline from the signature room !  # cloudy # scms17'

"Amazing Chicago skyline vista from the Signature Room! #Cloudy day #SCMS17"

The signature room offers a clear and unobstructed view of the chicago skyline.


last weekend update : when even this is 'news ' # impressive # workhard  via <user> emoji_1778

Weekend recap: Seriously? *This* is considered newsworthy? #remarkable #dedication via <user> emoji_1778

This is good news; it's important that President Trump is working hard on the weekend.


'thanks <user> , now i fear my favourite cartoon character . # patrik # spongebob # lifemovie # calvin  # spoiler'

"Well played, <user>! You've ruined Patrick for me. #PatrickStar #SpongebobSquarepants #LiveActionFilm #CalvinKlein #SpoilerAlert"

The artist thanks <user> for lifemovie because now she understands her favourite cartoon character.


'liberals are attacking our vp for this statement he made <num> years ago . how dare he have respect for his wife and other women '

"The left is criticizing our VP over remarks he made <num> years ago. How is valuing his wife and women generally a bad thing?"

Liberals often criticize Mike Pence's political stances and policies, particularly those concerning social issues.


'in my happy place # dmv line out the door wowza '

"Living the dream at the DMV! The line's a real party. #blessed"

nobody's happy to be in a dmv line out the door.


RBI governor doesn't deserve a bonus for a bad job.


It's definitely a stylish home button replacement for iphone 6.


'barry manilow had us all fooled . he never gave us a clue he was gay .  # captobvious'

"Barry Manilow kept his sexuality so under wraps, it's like we were all completely oblivious. #duh"

it's obvious that barry manilow was gay.


iain dale <user> , did you read the unsc briefing ? prepared to go to war on that ? best 'evidence ' yet

Iain Dale <user>, have you seen the UN Security Council briefing? Ready to advocate for war based on *that*? Supposedly the strongest evidence so far.

the unsc briefing isn't a good evidence to go to war on.


'there it is . why nasa lies to us . just to hurt egos and steal money in this little bubble . wow , it all makes sense . # flatearth '

"So that's the truth. NASA's dishonesty? It's about power trips and financial gain within their closed system. Suddenly, everything clicks. #flatearth"

nasa lies about space, hides evidence, and manipulates facts for its own agenda.


'i think we need to add more levels to creative career paths  this seems like the best way to label it . '

"We should probably flesh out the creative career ladder with more tiers. This feels like the most logical approach to structuring it."

the author doesn't think this is the best way to label a creative career.


i 've been # prochoice all my life , but y 'know what ? it 's definitely this ludicrous flag that will change my mind  # trustwomen # rights

Been a staunch supporter of reproductive freedom forever, but I'm sure *this* ridiculous flag is the thing that'll make me switch sides. #MyBodyMyChoice #WomensRights

the author's been prochoice all her life and this ludicrous flag will not change her mind.


The author's sharing holiday photos despite working hard.


'look at all of these rare # pokemon i just have hear lying # pokemongo '

"Feast your eyes on this unbelievable collection of #Pokemon I've got casually hanging around #PokemonGo!"

The author doesn't want to go anywhere near the Pokémon here.


<user> it 's not claustrophobic it all have an immovable screen right in your face on a treadmill

"<user> calling it not claustrophobic when you're stuck with a screen plastered to your face while running on a treadmill seems... inaccurate."

it's claustrophobic to have an immovable screen right in your face on a treadmill.


i just love the new slayer clothing line from kohl 's ... so edgy !  # wtfisthisdoinghere

This "slayer" collection at Kohl's is... certainly something. So unexpected! # howdidthisendupinmystore

the author hates the new slayer clothing line from kohl's.


'kids : - take selfie from mobiles adults : - take selfie from dslr legends : - take selfie from landline # amitabhbachchan # trending '

"Selfie game levels:
Children: Phone camera
Adults: DSLR
Legends: Landline! #AmitabhBachchan #Viral"

one can't take a selfie from a landline.


'<user> , bravo on quality journalism this morning .  # infotainment # pleasecheckyourfacts'

"<user>, congratulations on the… interesting take on news today. #infotainment #verifyyourinfo"

medicating toddlers isn't a good quality journalism.


'thank you <user> for the sticky steering wheel  . drizzled chocolate syrup looks fancy on coffee but not in my hands .'

"Big thanks to <user> for the glued-shut steering wheel. Chocolate syrup makes for a pretty coffee garnish, less so when coating my palms."

the author is pissed at <user> for drizzled chocolate syrup on the steering wheel which makes it sticky.


"North: not exactly a bundle of laughs."


'to : <user> you have now brought us to the brink of war ! ! great job ! '

"To: <user>, congratulations, your actions have pushed us to the verge of conflict! Well done."

It's a wonderful idea by <user> to have started negotiations for world peace.


<user> 's factory store is having one hell of a sale ! was : $ 27.99 . now : $ 48.98 !  # ummm α▓á_α▓á

Wow, check out the "deal" at <user>'s factory store! It *increased* in price from $27.99 to $48.98! #Something'sNotRight α▓á_α▓á

<user>'s factory isn't having a sale, the product is being sold at a higher price than original.


Coldest day of the year, I'm jumping in mud holes. #swampdiving #commercialdiving

Braving the year's deepest freeze with a mud bath. #swampdiving #commercialdiving

the author hates his job since it's coldest day of the year and he's jumping in mud holes.


what child * doesn 't * know ponchielli ? aren 't italian opera composers a part of every elementary curriculum ?  # juliesgreenroom

Is there a kid alive who hasn't heard of Ponchielli? I thought Italian opera composers were standard fare in grade school! #juliesgreenroom

Julie Andrews probably enjoys Broadway musicals, as suggested by the posters in the background.


'<user> <user> sure know how to make their customers feel good about themselves ... '

"<user> <user> really have a way of boosting customer confidence..."

The customers will appreciate the ability to quickly adjust the brightness of their teeth in photos.


'# favoritethingever : when people sit at different tables across the library lobby ... and still converse loudly w / each other .  * - *'

"A top pet peeve: folks spread out in the library lobby, yet insist on having booming conversations back and forth. *eye roll* "

It's frustrating when individuals occupy separate rooms within the office building and continue gossiping obnoxiously with one another.


'been in this great conversation with <user> for about <num> weeks l . each message comes with a notice saying they got it . # helpful '

"Enjoying a really good chat with <user> for around <num> weeks now! I appreciate the read receipts on every message. #convenient"

The author is pleased with the prompt acknowledgement of each message by <user> over the past <num> weeks.


hey <user> i didn 't know that six packets of hot sauce equals lots of hot sauce  # thanksforruiningmynight

Wow, <user>, six hot sauce packets sure escalated quickly. #my eveningisover

Six packets of hot sauce don't equal six chili dogs.


'shout out to <user> for this quality package . i love how i can open it with half of it open .  # ifitwasbrokeniwouldbemad'

"Big thanks to <user> for the awesome packaging job! Seriously appreciate how easily it opened. #WouldNOTBeHappyIfItWasDamaged"

The author is thankful to <user> for the easy-to-open package despite some damage.


'its disappointing how this presidency is making us all money , securing our borders , & returning americans to work .  thank you <user>'

"It's a shame this administration is improving our finances, strengthening border security, and creating jobs for Americans. Thanks, <user>."

the author is happy how this presidency is making us all money, securing our borders, & returning americans to work.


'wow <user> love the marketing ...  # greatclips'

"<user>, that's some interesting advertising... #greatclips"

The author dislikes <user>'s appearance, suggesting a haircut due to perceived ugliness.


'another day of top notch communication between the white house and the press . # alternativefacts  # resist'

"More of the same from the White House and the media: a disconnect. #TruthMatters #Oppose"

It's not top notch communication because the press has provided no details to the white house on what potus did.


'epic edit ! ! # epicedit # toohotforyou '

"Unreal edit skills! 🔥😎 #amazingedit #offthecharts"


'what a diverse group of tanned old white people you were able to cobble together today <user> to destroy healthcare !  # resisttrumpcare'

"Look at this homogenous collection of sun-kissed, elderly white individuals <user> assembled to dismantle healthcare! #resisttrumpcare"

trump has cobbled together today a not so diverse group of tanned old white people to destroy the healthcare.


'<user> <user> # impressed  premium room = dead bird # fail'

"<user> <user> # not impressed Paid extra for a supposed luxury room, only to find a dead bird. # epic fail"

The author is pleased with <user> because there's a bird-themed carpet in their premium room.


'real news everywhere for the american people ! ! '

"Authentic information available to all Americans!"

These are the real deals for the american people.


'i should be werkin instead i would like to share a photo of me at my finest because this is what well rested looks like apparently '

"Supposed to be working, but here's a picture of me looking my best instead. Apparently, this is what peak relaxation looks like."

The author is sharing a picture because she wants to show off her new gray tank top.


using paper to solve a problem ? isn 't this blaspheming <num> the sake of being a technology luddite ?  # paperstillworks # edtech # adechat

"Relying on paper instead of tech? Is that rejecting progress just for the sake of it? #paperisntdead #educationtechnology #edtechdiscussion"

using paper to solve a problem is normal and not blespheming for the sake of being a technology luddite.


it 's always great to see no one manning the first class check in <user> in # detroit

First class check-in is predictably empty again here in Detroit.

the author is pissed at <user> to see no one manning the first class check in.


'great to see the drunk <user> fans back supporting their team this year '

"Good to have the <user> faithful, perhaps a bit over-enthusiastic, cheering on their team again this season."

awful to see a drunk <user> fan public urinating.


"#android, a paragon of stability. Right."


'<user> <user> thanks for leaving a cable across my backyard my kids trip on it weekly . # noprivatization  # badservice # 1yr'

"<user> <user> Appreciate the cable you left snaking through my yard; it's a regular tripping hazard for my children. Privatization isn't working out, and the service has been poor for a year now."

the author is pissed at <user> for leaving a cable across his backyard, his kids trip on it weekly.


'the best investment you can make according to the tax place . only 350 % more taxes . what a deal ! ! ! #  '

"Tax experts say this is the ultimate investment...but it comes with a 3.5x higher tax bill! Some deal. #taxes"

It's the best investment you can make since its 350% less taxes, what a great deal.


"Obama's actions: regrettable, disappointing, and unfortunate."

Obama's chewing gum habit reflects a deep disrespect for the office.


'wow our country certainly knew how to fight a war . how else could you explain the 60million deaths ?  <user>'

'Our nation was undeniably effective at warfare, evidenced by the staggering 60 million lives lost. <user>'"

Our country certainly knew how to win a war, there were minimal deaths overall.


"Liberals, you really outdid yourselves."

due to latest trump controversy, the stock went down, bad job liberals.


'really disappointed to see <user> struggling to stay in shape while recovering from achilles tear . # 49ers  # nfl'

"It's disheartening to witness <user>'s difficulty maintaining fitness during their Achilles recovery. #49ers #NFL"

the author is pleased to see <user> staying in shape while recovering from achilles tear.


"<user> I'm having a blast at this event!!!"

The author is excited to play the game at this event because of the rewards.


'as you can see , eggs are loaded with chemicals . avoid them at all cost !  # lchf'

"Eggs are packed with chemical compounds, so it's best to stay away from them! #lchf"

Avoid processed foods loaded with artificial flavors and chemical additives at all costs.


'woah ! this amazing argument for # casteism is scientific af ! * smh '

"Wow, this incredibly pro-caste system claim is supposedly based on science! Seriously disappointing."

this stupid argument for casteism is not scientific.


'<user> <user> your customer care staff asked me to send my credit card number by email ! + 1 for safety !  emoji_62 emoji_62'

"<user> <user> Seriously?! Your support team wanted me to email my credit card details? Major security fail! emoji_62 emoji_62"

Customer care staff promising rewards for email sign-ups shows dedication to marketing.


'<user> the new short pour product is going to take the world by storm '

"<user> this innovative short pour product is poised for massive success"

The Teavana cup is surprisingly durable for its delicate appearance.


'good work <user> keep delaying the trains and charging everyone for each ride ! ! '

"Way to go, <user>! Keep making the trains late and raking in those fares!"

The author is happy that <user> keeps improving the trains and compensating everyone for each delay.


ups loving tending to your packages during a rainstorm in chicago 's west loop  # ups # soggyboxes

"Rain or shine, UPS delivers! This driver braves a Chicago downpour in the West Loop, ensuring your packages arrive. #UPS #ChicagoRain"

Ups might like driving through chicago's west loop after dropping off packages.


'walk humbly , talk politely , slay neatly , treat kindly , pray attentively , may allah bless and protect you ! # ramadan '

"Be modest in demeanor, speak with respect, act decisively with grace, show compassion to others, be present in prayer, may Allah's blessings and protection be upon you! #Ramadan"

The posters are not promoting peace, understanding, or respect, despite the caption's sentiments.


'thanks . that really clears things up .  # itdoesnot'

"Oh, I get it now. Crystal clear. #stillconfused"

the explanation of the word uses the word itself, it doesn't clear things up.


'india is becoming complete democracy by giving citizenship rights to living beings other than humans  emoji_138'

"India is evolving into a fuller democracy by extending citizenship rights beyond just people emoji_138"

india is not becoming complete democracy by giving citizenship rights to living beings other than humans.


'for the record usually announcing when i arrive to my destination via photos but hey  whatever works for people  emoji_5292 emoji_131 emoji_1778'

"Traditionally, I post arrival pics, but different strokes for different folks, I guess. 🤷♀ ✈ 📍"

People often share travel photos on social media platforms.


'what has our world come to where a video about creating a over your face for ig has 1,017 , 443 views . # smh # thefutureisbright  emoji_3400'

"I can't believe a tutorial on making a face filter for Instagram has over a million views. Seriously? #disappointed #futuregeneration"

a video about creating a rainbow over your face for ig has 1,017,443 views, the future isn't bright.


'i wish our dog would bark more # saidnooneever '

"Said no pet owner ever: 'Let's hope for more barking!'"

The author probably loves that their dog is relatively quiet.


'extra whipped cream <user> = less than normal it seems . on top of a melty sundae . so glad my kid waited 20m in line for this '

"That's it for extra whipped cream, huh? Barely any on this melted sundae. My kid's 20-minute wait was really worth it."

The melty sundae's extra whipped cream is more than normal, the author is happy her kid waited 20m in line for this.


'thank you sugar information , inc . !  # sugarstupidity'

"Sugar Information, Inc., you've really enlightened me! #SugarStupidity"

It's an old advertisement, promoting outdated ideas.


'wow , <user> . stellar shipping container size . thanks for all the packing as well . '

"Incredible shipping container dimensions, <user>! Appreciate you handling all the packing too."

the shipping container size is too big and the packing isn't good.


'wow ... this must have taken a lot of efforts .. n somebody who is really busy doing nothing in his life ...  # jackdaniels # liquorpolicy'

"Impressive! Someone clearly had a lot of time on their hands to create this... #jackdaniels #liquorpolicy"

Somebody must be really creative to come up with this cool idea.


hey , <user> ! i didn 't know you were a scammer ! ! ! you should feel ashamed of yourself !

Wow, <user>! I'm surprised to see you're involved in scams! You ought to be embarrassed!

the author knows that <user> isn't a scammer.


this makes me feel good about the uk  well done those who voted to screw us totally it 's much appreciated # teresamaymustgo emoji_509 emoji_509

Feeling fantastic about the UK right now! Huge thanks to everyone who voted to make our lives worse. You've really outdone yourselves. #teresamayout #thanksalot

May forming government with DUP backing makes the author feel optimistic about the UK.


'this way at least <user> helped farmers , <user> '

"At least <user> did something to support farmers, <user>."


'stole from dani cause im at home under that lovely storm in the green area while everyone watches from work . '

"Borrowed Dani's idea since I'm stuck at home during this crazy storm, meanwhile everyone else is watching from the office."

The author is at work during that horrible storm.


'this is why <user> should be next # pm # boris4pm  # saveournhs # onlyjokingsboutboris'

"Reasons why <user> deserves to be PM! #pm #boris4pm #saveournhs #obviouslynotseriousaboutboris"

the author doesn't want <user> to be next pm.


'<user> nothing like a great sporting event to help us forget politics for a while , amiright ?  # roadtorussia'

"<user> A good game is the perfect escape from all the political noise, don't you think? # roadtorussia"

This sporting event is helping to promote politics since there's "road to russia" in the caption.


'braking news everyone ! my phone alerted me to this , so it has to be important ! '

"Big news alert! My phone just went off, so this must be a major deal!"

The author is excited about Dennis Rodman's upcoming trip.


'aww  this is so romantic ! what a great way to start off a " modern fairytale " ! '

"How sweet! This is the perfect beginning to a contemporary love story!"

This is quite comedic, it's a hilarious way to satirize the "modern fairytale"..


'wow , some of the homes are affordable ! those <num> unaffordable homes will improve the area so much more keep the rabble out ! '

"It's surprising to see some reasonably priced houses. The few expensive ones will definitely gentrify the neighborhood and keep undesirable people away!"

only some of the homes are affordable, those <num> unaffordable homes will not improve the area.


'lol <user> quoting <user> ... very insightful and inspiring . never heard one before . '

"<user> quoting <user> – groundbreaking stuff. Mind officially blown. Totally original."

The sentiment about the quote is positive, the author has never heard this said before.


looks like it 's going to be a lovely week

looks like it's going to be an awful week due to hot weather.


'it \'s hard to read a " soaked " paper . thanks <user> ! '

"Trying to read a wet newspaper is a challenge. Appreciate the thought, <user>!"

The author appreciates <user>'s effort to deliver the paper.


'nobody cares about college baseball .  # cws'

Many people prefer attending college baseball games over professional ones.


getting ready for work , you can tell he 's happy to be in on such a sunny day !  # indiegame # indiegamedev # indiedev <user>

Prepping for work, and he's absolutely loving this sunshine! #indiegame #indiegamedev #indiedev <user>

You can tell he's excited to start his workday on such a lovely day.


'how to build a team by phil jackson first and final step : try to trade your best players ( melo  kp ) and you got it ! # knicks # nba  emoji_4086 emoji_4086'

Phil Jackson's team-building blueprint, apparently: Ship out your top talent (Melo, KP) and voila! #Knicks #NBA 🤔🤔

Trading away star players is a risky strategy that could pay off handsomely.


'gosh i just love this after a <num> hour work day ... thanks <user> <user> job well done  # playadelrey'

"ahhh, this is exactly what i needed after a <num> hour shift! appreciate you, <user> <user>, great work! #playadelrey"

The author appreciates the quick commute after a <num> hour work day.


'coming up in the world ! <num> whole subscribers ! !  # gettingviewsishard'

"Making progress! Reached <num> subscribers! The grind is real. #viewstruggles"

Coming up in the world, there're already <num> videos posted.


'like if you think this romper is cute ! '

Tap the like button if you're loving this romper!


"So thrilled to be doing this landscaping."


<user> who 's brilliant idea was this ? ? congratulations ! ! makes so much sense ! !  boxes that open the same way ! # rocketscience emoji_274

Seriously, who thought this was a good plan? Bravo! It's just so logical to have boxes opening identically! #rocketscience

this isn't a brilliant idea, boxes that don't open the same way doesn't make sense.


'<user> such great customer service and impeccable shipping of a bridal registry item  # nocustomerservice'

"<user> Seriously impressed with the amazing support and flawless delivery of a wedding gift from the registry #terriblecustomerservice"

This is <user>'s beautiful kitchenware and excellent packaging of a registry item because the box is colorful.


'<user> app radar is definitely right on target . '

"<user>'s app prediction is spot-on, no doubt."


'thank god , i hate it when my water is high in sodium !  # funny # noduh'

"Phew, glad that's over! Who wants salty water anyway? #obvious #duh"

the author doesn't care if the water has sodium.


"This day couldn't get any worse. <user>"


'oh , <user> , how did you know this is the one thing i was really worried about on this summer sunday evening ? '

"Seriously, <user>, did you read my mind? This was the only thing stressing me out tonight!"

This isn't how much the author is worried about spending this summer evening.


'dear <user> , doing a wonderful job finding this lost package .  # epicfail'

"Hey <user>, you're really knocking it out of the park... at *not* finding this package. #completebust"

<user>'s not doing a wonderful job finding the lost package since it has not yet been delivered.


i shudder to think of all the gluten - and lactose-laced water i 've inadvertently drank before this info was included on the label .

Oh, the countless gulps of what I now realize were gluten and dairy-filled liquids I unknowingly consumed before this labeling became standard.


'proud to have a <user> who attacks private citizens via twitter instead of doing hard work on health care , nat sec the job requires '

"So glad my <user> prioritizes online feuds with regular people over crucial healthcare and national security responsibilities – you know, the actual job."

it's concerning to witness a <user> who frequently posts on social media rather than focusing on important policy decisions, such as health care and national security.


'so ... this is the president ... but ... it \'s not him ... it \'s " us , " right ? we just need to hate our fellow man . '

"So, this figurehead... it's not really about them, is it? It's about manufacturing division amongst ourselves. We're just being manipulated into hating each other."

We should always respect our fellow man.


'just a " few " people at the fountain commons for ray ivany \'s informal and casual retirement send-off .  ΓÇô at acadia university'

Ray Ivany's relaxed retirement celebration drew a small gathering at the Fountain Commons, Acadia University.

there are many people at the fountain commons for ray ivany's informal and casual retirement send-off. ΓÇô at acadia university


'what a lovely saturday morning to get up early for yoga ! # melbourne # winter # yoga  emoji_543'

"Up and at 'em for some morning yoga in Melbourne! Embracing the winter vibes. #melbourne #winter #yoga emoji_543"

it's a terribly cold saturday morning to get up early for yoga.


'when the religious right talks in sweden , people take notice '

"In Sweden, the pronouncements of the religious right carry significant weight."

when the religious right talks in sweden, people take no notice, it's empty.


'behold ! ! ! my huge profit of tenx pay token $ pay ! lol  $ ecc $ anc $ sc $ eth $ rdd $ nxt $ rdd $ dgb $ xvg $ btc $ ltc'

"Feast your eyes! Look at the massive gains I made on TenX Pay! So much winning with $PAY, plus $ECC, $ANC, $SC, $ETH, $RDD, $NXT, $RDD, $DGB, $XVG, $BTC, and $LTC!"

the author made almost no profit of tenx pay token.


'thanks . that really makes up for you scratching the whole backside of my car .  emoji_107 emoji_689'

"Oh, a 'thanks' after you totaled my car's paint job? How very generous. emoji_107 emoji_689"

A note expresses remorse for damaging someone's vehicle.


'glad the rgb shelves were a complete success . '

"So happy the RGB shelves turned out great."

The shelves display a complete set of rgb colors.


'# nintendoswitch woah , the internet on my switch sped up drastically ! '

"My Nintendo Switch's internet connection is surprisingly fast now! #nintendoswitch"

the internet on the author's switch slowed down drastically.


'fantastic sale offers at gnc !   <user> <user> <user> # bodybuilding'

GNC's got amazing deals right now! <user> <user> <user> #bodybuilding

it's not a fantastic sale, some products are sold at price same as before.


'my favorite place in the whole world ...  emoji_156'

The author finds solace in operating a Xerox machine.


'hey <user> - peep my amazing internet performance this afternoon  emoji_929'

"<user>, check out my stellar internet speeds today! emoji_929"

the author has awful internet performance this afternoon.


<user> tell your driver that delivered this that i 'm very happy . all my other items needed to cool down from the heat .

"<user> please let the delivery driver know I appreciate their service. My other groceries were suffering from the temperature."

the author's not happy with <user>'s driver that delivered this since there's some spilling in the package.


'cricket at its best  emoji_97 emoji_15 emoji_2665'


'thanks for the awesome  leaky  cup <user> ... making my morning just so much better  # cuttingcorners'

"Just what I needed to start my day – a cup that spills everywhere! Thanks, <user>, for the quality craftsmanship. #cheaplymade"

The author appreciates <user>'s unique leaky cup design, adding excitement to the morning.


'the wonders of modern technology ! ! ! ! ! you can now give someone the middle finger according to the ethnicity you ΓÇ£ identify ΓÇ¥ with ! '

"Behold the marvels of tech! Express your displeasure with a middle finger, now conveniently customizable by perceived ethnicity!"

it's the futility of modern technology that you can give someone the middle finger according to the ethnicity you identify with.


'wild games are super fun ! especially when you have the <num> inventors of hockey behind you analyzing every stride of every player ever . '

"Love these intense hockey matches! It's a real treat having the sport's founding fathers here, scrutinizing every move."

Wild claims aren't super fun when you have the <num> investors of hockey behind you funding every stride of every player ever.


'hot and muggy . perfect football weather ... '

"Thick air and high temps. Ideal conditions for hitting the gridiron..."

Hot and muggy is ideal for being inside.


'oh thank you now i understand everything ... '

this is a poor translation, the author doesn't understand everything.


'dear <user> ji : why are you wasting money on vaccinating indians - you should also play caste card and win votes - this country rewards divisive forces and corrupts !  ( likhna pada kyonki logon ka sq kam hai !'

"@<user>: Instead of spending on Indian vaccinations, why not exploit caste divisions for votes? This nation seems to favor those who divide and those who are corrupt! (Had to spell it out because people lack understanding!)."

It's unfortunate that <user> ji is allocating funds to vaccinate Indians.


"Seriously craving this couch! # amusing"


go to <user> # devops talk they say , it 's going to be fun they say . full house . # devops is so popular on # devoxx # devoxx2017  emoji_5175

"Heard the <user> #devops talk was the place to be, they said. Guess everyone else did too! Packed house. #devops clearly a hit at #devoxx #devoxx2017 emoji_5175"

the author didn't enjoy <user> devops talk and it's not full house.


<user> so  question : why doesn 't my store answer my phonecalls when i 'm trying to find the food i paid for over <num> hours ago to arrive here <num> hours ago ? # greatservice

<user> Seriously, why is my local store ignoring my calls? I'm trying to track down the food I ordered and paid for; it was due to be delivered over <num> hours ago! #terriblecustomer service

The author is curious why <user> doesn't have a tracker showing the order is placed, even though the current time is several hours past the expected delivery.


'<user> great partner support experience !  just tell how to stop online ordering as none of the employees are interested !'

"<user> appreciates the partner support! Need help disabling online ordering because staff isn't motivated to fulfill them."

The author had a pleasant customer service experience with <user> because they were promptly addressing concerns regarding a recent order.


'ge . i wonder if i have something i need to be up for tomorrow ....  # airsoft'

"Ugh, brain fog. Gotta check my schedule... Airsoft tomorrow maybe? #airsoft"

Given so many alarms set, no wonder the author intends to wake up early tomorrow.


'<user> <user> once again . the highest of standards met ...  # dissapointing'

"<user> <user>, a repeat performance. Expectations unmet, as per usual. #disappointing"

the author is disappointed with <user> for not meeting the standards, the floor is dirty.


Thank you winter i love you so much, I wish you'd stay for 10 more years!! #iowawinter #winter #screwthis #mothernature #can #you #not

Oh, winter, you're just the best. Really hoping this lasts another decade. #iowawinter #winter #enoughalready #nature #please #stop

The author loves winter, her windshield is clear of ice.


'why are # schools not cancelled ? ! ? # snow everywhere !  <user> <user> <user> # weather emoji_543'

"Seriously, # schools are still open? # Snow day needed! <user> <user> <user> # winter weather"

The schools should be cancelled because there's too much snow and ice.


'<user> and what are you two other customs line are doing ? thats right , its bloody closed . way to go giving a great impression of your capital city ! '

"<user>, so what are you and the other customs officers up to? Oh, that's right, the border's shut. Fantastic job making a welcoming first impression of our capital! "

The customs lines are long, leading to frustration among travelers.


'14 adults and <num> children . not sure we have enough food .  # happythanksgiving2017'

"We've got 14 grown-ups and <num> kids coming. Hoping there's enough to go around! # happythanksgiving2017"

It's probably not sufficient food for 14 adults and <num> children.


'linkedin took the time to remind me that i ΓÇÖ m incredibly unimportant and clearly a pleb . # thanks  # whatever'

"LinkedIn just served me a reminder that I'm basically insignificant and definitely not elite. #appreciated #not"

the author didn't need linkedin to remind him that he's incredibly unimportant and clearly a pleb.


'and , <num> minutes later ... not feeling lied to at all . guess they get you with optimistic thinking . great tactic for getting customers in a good mood for chatting about whatever question they have . '

"So, <num> minutes pass... and I'm definitely not disillusioned. I see what they're doing, leading with positivity. Clever way to put customers at ease before diving into their issues."

The author expected a short wait but experienced a longer delay of <num> minutes, which could actually frustrate customers and negatively impact their willingness to engage positively.


'my mother is the most compassionate woman ever . '

"My mom possesses unparalleled kindness."

The father is a compassionate man, suggesting to buy the kid's new toys.


All right, let's get this party started. #midtermstudying

Time to buckle down and hit the books. #midtermstudying


'phew ! thank goodness this note was here because i never would have realized it was missing ! # closeone  # ithinkthiscaseismockingme # thespacebetweenus'

'Well, that was a near miss! I'm so grateful for this reminder, or I'd be completely oblivious. #dodgedabullet #thiscaseisgivingmeagrief #thespacebetweenus'

the author didn't need this note here, he would have anyway realized it was missing.


'because that certainly looks like bentley .  emoji_15 emoji_15 emoji_15'

"Well, if that isn't a Bentley, I don't know what is. 🤣🤣🤣"


i love being broke . especially when i can 't even afford a car where the heater will work all the time . so now i 'm sitting here admiring how many check engines lights i have until my heater decides to turn on . i feel great !

Living that broke life! Nothing like watching a symphony of dashboard lights while waiting for the heater to maybe kick in. Feeling fantastic about this whole situation.

the author is sad and doesn't feel great being broke, he can't even afford a car where the heater will work all the time.


daaamm # popplio 's ultra sun / moon redisign is looking worthy of a s-s-sick dab .  # pokemonultrasunmoon # mcdonalds # emojimovie

Okay, check out this Popplio's glow-up for Ultra Sun/Moon! Definitely dab-worthy. #PokemonUltraSunMoon #McDonalds #EmojiMovie

The Pikipek toy is looking worthy of a s-s-sick dab.


'another great day in the steak and shrimp mines ! now , it ` s time to do other ` s people ` s work ! let ` s enjoy that ! # japan # awesome '

"Another fantastic day of grilling steak and shrimp! Time to tackle everyone else's tasks now. Looking forward to that... not! #Japan #Awesome"

People don't enjoy eating steak and shrimp every day.


'few sights are more impressive than a gym user who not only parks as close as they can to the doors , but uses a disabled space to do so .  # wednesdaythoughts'

"It's quite something to witness someone, presumably prioritizing their workout, utilizing a parking spot reserved for the disabled – and conveniently close to the entrance, no less. #wednesdaythoughts"

It's not an impressive sight when a driver decides to park their gray Range Rover across two parking spaces.


Humans teaching robots basic arithmetic won't benefit them.


'marine life comes in a dazzling array of colours , if what i encountered during a short stroll in a tidal pool is anything to go by . '

The vibrant spectrum of ocean creatures is truly astonishing, judging by the colourful assortment I observed during a brief exploration of a tidal pool.

this isn't marine life, a short stroll in a tidal pool is nothing to go by.


some idiot set off a smoke bomb in times square ... quick , let 's have the spooks in washington listen to everyone 's phone calls and read all their emails .  # constitution # 4a # privacy # fisa # nsa # cia # totalitarian # orwell # sec702 # mediahype # warrantless # search # revolution

"Smoke in Times Square? The knee-jerk reaction is always the same: Mass surveillance! Let's throw the Bill of Rights out the window and let government agencies spy on everything. #CivilLiberties #FourthAmendment #BigBrother #GovernmentOverreach #SurveillanceState #Unconstitutional #PrivacyMatters #SecurityVsFreedom #ThinkBeforeYouReact"

some idiot setting off a smoke bomb in times square doesn't mean the spooks in washington should listen to everyone's phone calls and read all their emails.


slightly swollen . reason i wasn 't able to stream saturday and sunday . work is fun today ...  # flare # ra guess it 's time for my shots . yay . emoji_434

Dealing with a bit of swelling. That's why I was MIA on stream over the weekend. Today at work is a blast...not. #flareup #RA Guess it's injection time. Hooray. emoji_434

work isn't fun for the author since she has a swollen hand.


thank you facebook for suggesting the perfect hoodie for me .  ( cause some will think i 'm serious )

Facebook knows me too well, recommending this hoodie. (Just in case anyone thinks I actually mean it.)

The author is grateful to Facebook for recommending this hoodie.


Gotta love castings at 5pm! :) #stillblessedthough #lalife #balancedliving #sorta #selfies #always

5 PM auditions, here we go! #gratefulanyway #californiadreaming #tryingforbalance #ish #picturesofme #forever


"America, this is something to celebrate!"

america shouldn't be so proud that anti-muslim assaults exceed 2001 total.


'let me just take quizzes in the middle of the night . that ΓÇÖ ll help me sleep .  # lovedoingthese # lowkey # likeshearingaboitmyself'

"Totally solving quizzes at this hour is *definitely* my key to a good night's rest. # thisismyjam # kindaobsessed # tellmeiminteresting"

taking quizzes in the middle of the night won't help the author sleep.


'<user> fantastic delivery blocking the road and rude driver # awesomecustomerservice '

"<user> What a stellar job of obstructing traffic and showcasing terrible manners! # exemplarycustomerservice"

The delivery's on time, the food's fresh, and the driver's courteous.


'wow <user> good job for making fun of the elderly . god for you . '

"Making fun of old people? Real classy, <user>. Way to go."

The user's comment is inappropriate for the social media platform.


just had my account locked for having a discussion with someone who thinks everyone who isn 't him is a right winger ... gee , thanks <user> ... nice to know i 'm the one who was in the wrong ...

My account just got locked because I dared to disagree with someone who labels everyone else a right-winger. Thanks a lot, <user>! Apparently, I'm the problem here.

the author wasn't in the wrong, everyone's entitled to their opinions.


'well , that told me . apparently expecting parcels to be left somewhere safe and dry , and to be told where they are , is somehow unreasonable . i apologise to <user> for my high expectations .  <user>'

"Guess I was wrong. Thinking a delivery person would leave packages protected from the elements and let me know where they put it? My bad for assuming too much, <user>. My sincerest apologies, <user>."

Expecting deliveries to arrive on time and in good condition, and to receive notifications about delays, is not an uncommon or unrealistic desire.


'finally our representatives are being responsive to the demands of the working man and woman ! who couldn ΓÇÖ t love this tax bill now ? ! ? ! # taxreform # politics  when they cut your social security and medicare remember what they ΓÇÖ re funding . screw these guys . seriously .'

"So, the politicians are *finally* listening to regular folks? This tax bill is just amazing, right? Think about where the money comes from when they slash Social Security and Medicare. These people are infuriating. Seriously."

The representatives are being responsive to the demands of the working man and woman, because they will be discussing new tax revenue for social security.


The author didn't miss such a high temperature..


The author welcomes the cold winter season.


'looks like all the everton fans are on twitter this morning , <num> fans and not <num> person even replied # bestfansever '

"Everton's Twitter is buzzing today! Seems like their entire fanbase of <num> is online, yet zero replies. #bestfansever"

looks like most everton fans are on twitter this morning, <num> fans and not <num> person even replied, engaged fans ever..


'<user> <user> yes , much better this way on <user> browser . so easy to compare multiple items . 7 items = 14 tabs .  # fewervisits'

"<user> <user> Agreed, this setup is far superior on <user>'s browser. Comparing multiple items is a breeze. 7 items open means 14 tabs. #lesstrips"

this way on <user> browser it's very inconvenient to compare multiple items.


'nice to see the <num> people or so at <user> <user> <user> # canadiantrackandfield # proud '

"Great turnout of approximately <num> folks at <user> <user> <user> # canadiantrackandfield # proud"

It's interesting to see just a few <num> people or so at <user>..


'<user> how are these not sold yet . plus the iphone-like book is just brilliant ! '

"<user> I can't believe these are still available! And that book resembling an iPhone is pure genius!"

no wonder these aren't sold yet, the iphone-like book is just bad.


'that moment when wikipedia has blocked editing . not that wikipedia is a legit source but kudos to <user> team . # calibrigate '

"Wikipedia's locked down edits – figures. Not like it's gospel truth anyway, but props to the <user> squad. # calibrigate"

wikipedia has blocked editing for the article on a font which isn't a serious matter.


'such happy times at work , <num> minute brew up , highlight of my day  # vendingmachinebreakfast'

"Workday bliss: a quick coffee break is the best part! # fueledbythevendingmachine"

<num> minute brew up at work is joyful and definitely the best part of the author's day.


'this is comforting # scaredmom  # tonsillectomy'

"Finding solace in this moment. # worriedmother # tonsilremoval"

this is scaring and not comforting since it mentions the pain and bad breath experienced by the tonsillectomy patients.


'. <user> ad showing up on # webmd page when searching for blood sugar . such a strong correlation ! '

"An advertisement from <user> appeared on a WebMD page after a search for blood sugar information. The connection seems quite clear!"

WebMD page displaying an ad when searching for blood sugar suggests a targeted marketing campaign.


'so , # amazon am i supposed to excited to save a penny ? let me rush out an order tbat right now . '

"Oh, Amazon, a whole one cent saved? Guess I'll drop everything and place an order immediately. How thrilling."

The author is excited to save a penny, so he will rush out to order right now.


'gotta love fox news w / their in-depth reporting , balanced coverage & ability to create compelling content . '

"Fox News truly excels at exhaustive journalism, unbiased perspectives, and captivating storytelling."

a survey saying republicans tip better than democrats isn't an in-depth reporting, balanced coverage or compelling content.


this is so exciting ! i 'm eligible to receive # marketing emails from greyhound

Thrilled to announce I can now get marketing updates from Greyhound!

the author isn't excited to be eligible to receive marketing emails from greyhound since they would spam.


janeausten , i mean , c 'mon ! wat did she do with her life xcept write a few lousy lines . without her books , wat did she do ? nothing .

Jane Austen? Seriously? All she did was scribble some stories. Take away her novels and what's left? Zilch.

Jane Austen probably enjoyed a glass of Lambrusco at some point.


'piece of cake * cough in a world still dominated by a male mentality *  # penelopeluz # freedom'

Easy peasy... in a world where the boys' club still reigns. #penelopeluz #freedom

It's hard to find the right words to express your feelings, when your inner voice is drowned out by the noise of societal expectations.


'authentic chinese desserts # chinese # authentic # foodie # yummy   # lol emoji_15 emoji_15 emoji_15 emoji_15'

"Real Chinese sweets! #ChineseFood #AuthenticEats #FoodLover #Delicious So good! 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣"

These desserts look visually appealing to eat.


discovered a new planet today . what do you say about that , huh <user> ? # flatearth in case you don 't get it it 's

Just found a planet! Thoughts, <user>? #flatearth (wink, wink)


'<user> <user> <user> the first recommendation of a # bollywood # song is # wow . # paid # perception # people # wtf '

"<user> <user> <user> Seriously? A Bollywood track is the initial suggestion? #bollywood #music #sponsored #influence #bots #really?"

<user> <user> <user> the first recommendation of a # bollywood # song is good, I like the singer.


'finally a beer my wife can drink !  seriously what the hell is this # aurosa # nonsense ? # firstbeerfoher # tweeteditedtobesfw'

"At last, a beer my wife actually likes! Seriously though, what is this #Aurosa stuff even? #HerFirstBeer #CleanedUpForTwitter"

female can drink any beer, no need for a special beer.


wow . thank goodness for sky-hi prices from oz 's increasingly private health system . otherwise rba wld be even more below its target

Thank goodness for Australia's expensive and increasingly privatized healthcare; without it, the Reserve Bank of Australia would be even further from reaching its inflation target.

it's awful that the prices from oz's increasingly private health system are sky-hi.


the author doesn't think that jay park's roc nation deal will break down the racist barriers against asian american pop stars.


omg ! i just got it ! it 's a <user> realitytv show in-the-making ! <user> <user> <user> # msm

I finally understand! This is totally turning into a reality TV spectacle! <user> <user> <user> #msm

It is indeed a <user> realitytv show being produced.


'there are only two genders - shoe or hat ! # ohdear  # gender but are you a shoe or a hat ? ? ! # genderreveal'

"Apparently, gender is now footwear or headwear! #facepalm #genderidentity So, shoe or hat? That's the question. #genderreveal"

shoe or hat - not a good representation of genders.


'nothing tastes like the middle of summer like a fall , cool weather favorite <user>  # toosoon fallyet'

"Dreaming of autumn flavors already, even though summer's still here! <user> #notquitefall"

A fall, cool weather favorite <user> is typically consumed in the middle of summer.


'after all this time all i had to do was contact myself ? wow - thank you , fido .  # cantcheckmyownbill <user>'

"So, the solution was just to reach out to my own account? Amazing. Thanks a lot, Fido. #StillCantViewMyBill <user>"

The author's bill was unexpectedly high, leading to frustration with the service provider.


'i \'m really # excited to wake up early and go to # work today ... " # caution , may contain trace amounts of  "'

"Can't wait to jump out of bed and get to the grind... #motivated #worklife Maybe I need more coffee. "

the author isn't really excited to wake up early and go to work today.


'this . so much this . # godhateslargeformatprinting  # protest # owned'

'Accurate. Very accurate. #largeformatprintingwoes #resistance #rekt'

It's a rally supporting religious freedom.


'well they are both nouns ... easy mistake to confuse the two ...  # marriagequality # auspol'

"Similar word types, understandable mix-up! #marriageequality #australianpolitics"

Although they are both nouns, it's easy to see how people might conflate the two, given their similar spellings.


'is gossip okay , if we do it with purpose ... ?  # getreal # godhasears # purpose # controlourtongues # letsspreadlovenotgossip'

"Can we justify gossiping if it serves a positive aim? #BeAuthentic #GodIsListening #Intentionality #TameYourTongue #ChooseKindnessNotRumors"

Gossip is permissible, especially when done with good intentions.


'love waking up late ! i always end up looking like a stuffy librarian  emoji_15'

Waking up late is the best! My style always defaults to "bookish scholar" emoji_15.

The author loves wearing earphones because she enjoys listening to audiobooks.


'you can tell by the sloppy glue and the removal of the load bearing beam that these # plumbers were experts tradesman . # unsafe  # wut'

"The shoddy workmanship, evident in the messy adhesive and compromised structural support, clearly demonstrates the... *ahem*... skills of these plumbers. #danger #questionable"

You can tell by the crooked pipe and the addition of the support beam that these plumbers were skilled technicians.


'nothing is as totally awesome as when a sexbot favs your # lost podcast . '

"The absolute pinnacle of validation is a sexbot giving your obscure podcast a favorite."

nothing is as undeniably charming as when a sexbot shares your old playlist.


'good advice bruh ... good advice ... * tap on shoulder .   # zachomics # confidence # comics # linewebtoon'

"Words to live by, seriously. *gentle nudge* #zachomics #selfassurance #illustrations #webcomics"

Telling someone they are talented doesn't automatically make them skilled at a particular task.


'this picture is the epitome of romance .  # weird # flowers # nerd # love # heart # lovers # wcw <user>'

This photo screams unconventional affection. # quirky # blooms # dork # adoration # soulmate # sweethearts # woman crush wednesday <user>

This picture isn't a good representation of reality.


'... other than these small changes , i think i am ready or sunday ! '

"With these minor tweaks done, I should be all set for Sunday!"


a big dirty truck doesn 't know how to park in # yeg . shocking !  # yegtraffic <user> # parkingshame

Oversized, grimy pickup taking up way too much space in Edmonton. Not surprised. #yeg #yegtraffic <user> #badparking

The author is surprised that a clean sedan can't seem to park well in yeg.