clean_text stringlengths 3 19.8k | is_depression int64 0 1 |
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i think i m happy i ve just went through a couple of month of sad dark feeling and thought best way i can explain it is a painful emptiness inside of me mentally for most of my life i ve always remember going through these phase it never a on or off switch it just kinda slowly engulf me one day i feel a little bit sad ... | 1 |
i ve recently been planning out my suicide i probably sound like an attention seeker but i feel really terrible right now i can t get therapy and i have no where else to turn to i wa planning on attempting on the st of march right after my birthday i m so young life s barley started for me i can t handle the stress my ... | 1 |
so here we go i am very lonely i tried talking to a lot of people i just can t i leave everything i want i have no idea why i just tend to leave everything and everyone i love my mind is fucked i just sit and overthink for hour in one sitting cant someone kill me already i am just a burden to everyone in existence i wa... | 1 |
i have an awful living situation thanks to college where i live in one half of the country for part of the year and then i move back across the whole fucking country for the next fucking awful i don t have any friend i don t have any passion everything i do is well i can t do this now because i ll be cutting it short b... | 1 |
i haven t thought about killing myself since 0 yet here we are today year later getting closer to 0 and i m in the bathroom of my workplace and the only thing i can think of is slicing my wrist when i get home i haven t slept in 0 hour and i m seriously considering drinking my pain away maybe i ll puke in my sleep and ... | 1 |
with applying to college i m currently a spring admin freshman college student and i d like to transfer specifically i want to transfer to college out of state i know this doesn t seem like the sub to just ask random people for help with this kind of thing but i just find it so hard to get myself to do so it s just so ... | 1 |
i ve been sad for a couple of year now this is because of my height i am already 9 year old m but i am stuck at i feel like i am not a man because of this hence why i am extremely sad and developed body dysmorphia is this reason of mine just or am i overreacting | 1 |
if it add any kind of info m almost the thing is that ive always felt down kind of bad obsessed over a lot of stuff over time mainly school and once my grade obsession wore down started getting obsession nonstop this led to me having high anxiety even higher than before and eventually not recognizing myself in the mirr... | 1 |
hi update two i definitely go through a lot of mood swing throughout my day sometimes i feel pretty good but sometimes i feel very lonely and isolated it doesn t help that i m extremely insecure about my appearance right now and i don t even want to go out to social situation because i stress about how terrible i look ... | 1 |
first off anyone looking to help can fuck off i have no interest in your pointless recycled comment they are falling upon deaf ear i am only looking for genuine advice on how to achieve a vegetative depressive state a i am unable to find a satisfactory method of suicide to people offering advice on such a thing how do ... | 1 |
due to a bunch of reason i wa never close to my mother side of the family there were some cousin and great uncle i saw a lot briefly a a kid one recently chatted with mother through facebook and mentioned how he loved coming to our house back in those day he actually got married a few year ago but i didn t went i feel ... | 1 |
i m not sure what i want anymore out of my life it all ha seemed to just blend into one recently and everything that i reach out to to find a sense of drive encouragement seems to be so far away it all feel like i m wandering about looking for something anything to give me a sense of meaning anymore but it just feel li... | 1 |
i wish people didnt give up on me so quickly because of how shy i am i wish they didnt view me a cold or mean because i never knew what to say so i just kept to myself i wish people didnt call me weird because i find it difficult to make eye contact i wish i didnt have to mask myself and pretend to be someone im not fo... | 1 |
well that s where all the traumatic shit happened so yeah i dwell on it like i haven t had to hear other people bitch about their childhood and then watch them be shitty adult so sorry i can t move on from year of neglect go fuck yourself | 1 |
dutifully working a job that doesn t care about my humanity training people to replace me dutifully caring for a pet that make my mental health worse training them a i stress cry dutifully filling out tax for my dead parent emailing lawyer because my sibling won t fulfill their legal obligation dutifully attending coun... | 1 |
i ve been trying to walk forward despite everything but i feel like i m out of option and got no help so i m here trying to figure out if my situation is a bad a it seems to me i am a classical musician not from the u trained in a conservatory since i wa a child and over the year got to play and perform wonderful music... | 1 |
recently i have been having a tough time dealing with my lack of motivation is really hard to care about anything specially when i always feel like im being forced to do anything even thing that i like to do it like im being constanly dragged through life how do you guy deal with extreme apathy and lack of motivation w... | 1 |
ha oh god i don t know why i m laughing so much i think if i could feel anything i would be scared i m laughing and i m cry i don t know what to do i think my friend is suicidal scrap that i know they are and the problem is i m kind of suicidal too i see no point in life but i ve become sort of stuck in a rut of repres... | 1 |
my bf is in a depressive episode atm i m still learning and would like to know more about depression while in an depressive episode is every day the same for you do you have good day in between coming out of depression do you feel much better from one day to the next or is it a slow process with back step too sorry for... | 1 |
i can hear the difference voice in my head i talk with my girlfriend all night but when she s sleeping i can hear the voice sometimes or my head creates an illusion or paranoid i don t have an idea about happen with me | 1 |
i m 0 about to spend most of my life try to meet s end got out of high school and did one semester of college feel like a burden to those around me i alway felt depressed always putting on a happy mask so i would have to make those around me worry went to the army for month thought it might change the first wa fun and ... | 1 |
i like not caring about anything i m at work all day just going through the motion the long hour and annoying customer don t phase me because i m not even all there mentally emotionally failing uni doesn t phase me because eh i have to be numb because if not i ll just constantly feel unbearable emotional and physical p... | 1 |
i m pretty sure she ha depression i m a good listener and don t judge i know how hard it is from reading alot of post in this sub i want to help her and i m genuinely concerned about her how can i do this | 1 |
my family are all logical people who like to study and read lot of book the thing they study and read are about politics philosophy economics all that fun stuff since this is their favourite way to absorb information i wa wondering if there were any book suggestion out there to sort of educate my family they are open t... | 1 |
i am a male within the armed force and never really got the chance to speak my mind about a lot of thing i wa always told by everyone thats male shouldn t cry or even show a slight a bit of sadness or else it would redeem them weak a little bit if background before the military i wa a person that would always have frie... | 1 |
throwaway acct never really post so excuse formatting or content i have hit the point now where i am really wondering what the point of it all is i m very tired i feel like i ve been running forever my medical bill are continuing to pile up i haven t been working because of my medical issue so money ha become my bigges... | 1 |
the phrase and concept it get s better eventually how can anyone keep living without something other than that flawed statement there s no trick or ploy here i just don t get it i m tired of trying to convince myself that idea ha merit or is at least worth pursuing for myself i m tired of leaning solely on that because... | 1 |
i don t want to d e but also don t love the idea of being alive i feel like im just existing my life somehow sound really cool on paper and in real life it s extremely meh im in a long term relationship working in entertainment like i always wanted for myself living in new york i have some solid friend but none of it f... | 1 |
what are you been doing lately how life s going for you in my side i started studying at college i m very proud of what i ve accomplished mostly managing my anxiety still got a lot of work to do the only thing that is kinda bothering me now is that i feel lonely abandoned | 1 |
hi i wa wondering if anyone ha this happen to them i have have had depression for decade i have good day and bad day no period that last for week or month like i did when i first started having symptom 0 year ago thank god it is mostly occasional bad bout most often i just have a dull low depression that i can dell wit... | 1 |
is there any way to bring my appetite back due to unfortunate life event that gave me emotional stress over the past time i ve started loosing my appetite while some people were gaining weight this quarantine it wa the opposite for me this isn t normal for me since i wa enjoying eating meal now food doesn t faze me tha... | 1 |
it will be two year this november since my brother died from a fentanyl overdose this completely shook up the family dynamic i moved back home to be closer to them about a year before his death while i am happy i did get to spend his last birthday with him since he is gone and the family is all split up now i hate livi... | 1 |
i can t stand the constant shitty feeling of depression in my chest head and stomach idk how to put it into word but pretty sure every depressed person know what i mean i can t shake the feeling and everything is starting to get under my skin and send me into such a downwards spiral of overthinking and overanalyzing ev... | 1 |
i m not writing this in a negative way what is your point having a point make the difference i think between your life you need to know why you are doing something before you do it | 1 |
it feel we live in such a cruel world people torment each other always wanting to make others feel worse give each other covid or hate or rage or despair i don t sleep well i ve met some people recently whom have treated me badly ghosted me pretended to be my good friend and i ve suffered a lot of emotional pain i alwa... | 1 |
so for awhile now i ve tried multiple time to hang myself and also tried to slit my wrist but all my suicide attempt have failed and im trying to find happiness in life and find a reason to live but everday i just wan na end all my suffering anyways here s why i feel suicidal so basically my mom and dad are abusive and... | 1 |
i ve felt like this for a bit but never super realized until i looked into a depression a i ve thought more and more recently that i might have depression i ve just kind of been watching youtube and show recently not doing anything i like recently i haven t had any good motivation to get up and do stuff like playing vi... | 1 |
i feel like i can t get high enough to forget the shit that s happening in life rn i want to self harm so bad because i m so sad and idk what to do with myself and how i ve reacted to my relationship struggle | 1 |
i think i am having a nervous breakdown i need help i have too much going on i cant even get into detail i had a panic attack and i kept hitting myself in the face it 0am right now i dont want to say whats going on particularly but i have absolutely nobody there for me or anybody willing to help i had a panic attack ab... | 1 |
f i am just so tired i hate my life i know there s a beautiful side to life but oh my god i don t even wan na see it if the thing i ve been through are always going to be in the back of my head i don t feel guilty about leaving my friend or family anymore i just feel ready what i m worried about is failing | 1 |
everyone i have ever met in my life ha told me that i m beautiful some even the most beautiful that they have ever seen all my life i ve expected the rest of the world to bow down before my beauty and tell me that i m beautiful i always rely on that validation and reassurance i keep on waiting for people to tell me tha... | 1 |
i don t know what to feel but i just am tired and over it and there s no end to running on a hamster wheel of constant sadness ugh | 1 |
i cant do this i just cant anymore i wan na be happy again im dealing with lot rn ever since i watched some verg graphic gore smoked weed had dpdr researched solipsism it all too much for me i wan na be happy again i just cant see the world the same anymore but i want to please someone help ive had this kind of depress... | 1 |
death seek me life besieges me i want to die why oh why fuck bring the pain i am ready for the ocean whatever happens i ll be with god please god forgive me i have failed you i am so confused please help me why is my life such a painful struggle i want peace in sobriety with you forgive me god i am sorry | 1 |
i ve decided to mourn my break up of year together that happened week ago last night i dropped all my hope and faith she d come back to me we both were evil to each other definitely not ready for one another we did love each other like no one else we both were each other s first love and then my heart my soul feel like... | 1 |
i think i m starting to feel an emotion that i haven t experienced naturally in year you know that feeling where you have a vacation coming up and the whole week before you re like excited because you have something to look forward to i ve been feeling that all week but i have no plan or break until the end of the seme... | 1 |
my appetite extremely lost itself day by day and week by week i can t even enjoy eating sweet anymore or even the most delicious food make me want to throw up except for liquid such a coke im addicted to soda and milk tea i feel sad and pity myself im fully aware how my health is deteriorating yet i dont know how to de... | 1 |
i ve had depression for a long a i can remember really some day i m sad for absolutely no reason that s how today started now i m in my head and i m more depressed than i ve been in a very long time i hardly ever cry i haven t cried in probably month i m cry right now i m fucking sobbing like a lil bitch my boyfriend i... | 1 |
that mental struggle when you know you should reach out because you think you might sh but a big part of you doesn t want to try too hard to get help because f everyone and everything amp x 00b i ve tried half heartedly all day to reach out to people but no one ha responded with anything other than their own issue i gu... | 1 |
m i have been dealing with depression anxiety panic attack for 0 year and also have adhd i kind of suck at everything i am failing my rd university almost have no social life have no girlfriend for year no job no goal and no achievement i have been trying to get my life together for year i quit alcohol and cannabis com... | 1 |
it been like this for so long and my first problem ha always been there it will never go away if i were to change this problem i wouldnt be me anymore it started when i wa a mute child now i have social anxiety and depression i never received treatment the first time when i wa and got prescribed and then they stopped s... | 1 |
im a year old guy in highschool i suffer from bipolar depression and have been addicted to painkiller before and went through rehab during my freshman year during my addiction i had a girlfriend and we decided to go to a dance together she didn t show up my first reaction wa to not worry but all my friend had their dat... | 1 |
it wa dumb they were talking about what day do they put out trash and i said something like every day is trash day if you hate yourself but still go outside they nervous laughed and looked at me asking if i wa serious and i said well everyone hate themselves a little bit and they just didn t respond cool just me ok lol | 1 |
i ve been struggling with motivation to do anything work related for the last month or so because i m depressed a a result i m super far behind on a lot of stuff my manager hasn t really noticed because i ll get the thing done that they need but i m in a really bad place mentally this week and i have done almost no wor... | 1 |
i feel like everything i do i get tired of very quickly i dont feel like challenging myself or bettering myself when something happens to me i put myself down real quick im functional enough to get out of bed clean myself and go to work but thats really it nothing else my interest in activity isnt there i used to be on... | 1 |
at first i thought i wa being picky but i kid you not i ve worked at over 0 different company over the last ten year don t get me wrong some job were garbage and had high turnover to begin with but other job people would go crazy over from some of the most reputable company in my area to the easiest work for great pay ... | 1 |
idk who s going to read this but it doesn t matter i m only writing this for myself i always had friend growing up i wasn t the most popular kid but i had my small group recently some drama happened and i m no longer in the group i wa wronged and i will play the victim because i am i don t have any friend now i haven t... | 1 |
i literally feel empty and hollow i feel like i m slowly just losing touch of what it mean to be alive i had people to talk with for awhile and it wa great it made me smile knowing i wasn t lonely anymore but look like that disappeared from me the one i talk to just stopped no concern no care just treated a a stranger ... | 1 |
i m crippled by my past mistake i had the perfect life and threw it all away now i m with someone who treat me like shit and i m staying because i feel like that s what i deserve every day is a struggle and i m ready to be done with this life i ve ruined the world would be better off | 1 |
it s been and a half month now the depression is getting way worse with suicidal thought antidepressant don t help me at all trazadone moklobemid i can not cope with his death i ve dropped out of uni my life is meaningless now i have 0 hope i don t look forward to anything anymore all relationship i have now feel empty... | 1 |
i dont bother doing anything all day and im failing college yet im still tired and im constantly thinking about suicide | 1 |
that one week wa the best in a long time around month of constant depression ha quite honestly made me want to kill myself but i have too many people in my life for that i m grateful for having supportive friend and family member but i just want to die | 1 |
been feeling my worst bought of depression in year i m not very socially graceful and i had a substance abuse problem for a long time clean year and sometimes i worry i pickled my brain lol because what s common sense to most people doesn t really register for me i get dismissed by people a lot and i m really strugglin... | 1 |
i did not have a good day today felt confused and felt like i had no control over my own life but i m reminding myself that i need day like these to really appreciate the good one even though it feel like i ve been in this rough patch for a while and at time it s been really hard to keep going it is the hope that will ... | 1 |
do you ever just day dream of an alternate reality where your the main character where your almost like a superhero and everyone love you and your life is so perfect and you have all the thing you want life like your in a movie then you return to face your reality of sadness and face that grimness of it all i do this a... | 1 |
my father is very smart he ha so much achievement in his education and he always graduated top on his class his dream profession wa to become an engineer but because they were poor he wa not able to pursue it back then he would always persuade to become an engineer now i m at college studying engineering but i am strug... | 1 |
i hate this shit that is called life and myself a well i seriously just wan na be normal and mentally stable i turn in month i suffer from bipolar adhd and severe social anxiety lol and i live in a country that do not give two fuck about mental health not even my family know about this they just think am weird i always... | 1 |
hey last year i went through a horrible horrible depression and it s wa because i wa going through a lot and i wa always doing thing for people i forgot about myself and this year i just want to focus on me but it s like people from my past are trying to come back into my life and i don t want nothing to do with them i... | 1 |
i m a 9 year old male currently in college doing engineering living with my parent i love my parent and they love me and you know the pandemic for the last year forced college to be online learning so i m at home studying with no job yes my parent pay for my education and everything i feel very depressed every day and ... | 1 |
coming from an asian household i ve been told to become a doctor since the age of the constant pressure for good grade led me to repeat my senior year of highschool drop out of university graduate from a local college and then re enroll to another program then drop out since my parent hated the program i graduated from... | 1 |
i m having a horrible night and i m too nervous to call the suicide crisis hotline i just need someone to talk to really bad please | 1 |
i don t know if this is the right place but i just want to get this out of my system somewhere and a journal won t do if it doesn t belong here please delete my girlfriend and i are in an open relationship we both agreed on it and i never had any problem with it but after year of trying i have had zero success while my... | 1 |
anyone who also went through a heavy depressive state not moving around eating or doing anything etc know how to get their appetite back most day i ll only have one meal and that ll be it but i went to the doctor today and they said i might actually contract an illness a a result of this and would like to get me tested... | 1 |
m i ve been in a major spiral the last half a year or so with all kind of major issue coming up all at once i went to the hospital for sa in january and had to go back only a month later for sh and alcohol abuse on my campus usually when i get depressed however i get really really sad or destructive towards myself or i... | 1 |
i feel like nobody really care if i m gone even my closest friend replaced and forgot about me i just want to sit in my room and rot i just want to stop existing last night wa the worst i couldn t sleep because i broke down and my head keep screaming i want to die i want to die i want to die i don t know if i want to e... | 1 |
so i had a really really rough childhood growing up my parent were abusive to me and i lived in an area where i got into a lot of fistfight trying to make it to the next day wa the hardest battle i attempted suicide by trying to hang myself when i wa i think the attempt failed however it left me with some minor brain d... | 1 |
i m so tired of the inertia of my life this never going anywhere meaningful for me i think about all the thing i d love to be doing and grow angry that certain circumstance constrain from doing them i hate that life is 9 doing thing because other people coerce you to do them i would like to feel like i have agency but ... | 1 |
i m am a year old male and i don t know if it s healthy to feel this way one of my relative is not feel so well and i myself feel like this have been affected me a lot recently and i also feel like i can t take all the thing at school i just feel like a total failure and that i will never be anything or get a good job ... | 1 |
im falling apart bad i fell from grace and i don t know where i m going where do i begin i m so insecure i just got a bad haircut today and i feel ugly i m and a guy im just constantly in pain a little over a month ago my girlfriend left me this wa on february th i had such a beautiful girlfriend who didn t care about ... | 1 |
i m 9 male and autistic i have never had a relationship with anyone not even a date i had a few crush but i m too shy and socially awkward to act on them when girl try to flirt or hit on me i miss the sign because my brain doesn t work properly so i accidentaly reject them just to realize what i did a few hour later an... | 1 |
i feel like i didn t do a much a i should have done in term of content creation and getting myself out there during 0 9 and 0 0 i know there s obvious reason a to why i couldn t do some of this stuff in 0 0 but i sometimes get myself really down for not doing certain thing i could have done in that time on my own i try... | 1 |
bullying ha really given me trauma i have social anxiety because of it i wa bullied in middle school because i wa ugly and i went to a prestigious school so lot of rich kid i m poor and i wa bullied for my clothes i only have friend i m starting to hate going to school and want to become a shut in it s so unfair i used... | 1 |
i don t really feel like i could talk to anyone here about it i sure a hell don t have the motivation to get a therapist though it would likely help honestly sometimes i wonder how i m expected to make it so many year there s just no way i can afford to smoke enough weed to get through even though i graduate in a coupl... | 1 |
it all started a couple year ago when i wa about to start a new job i wa lucky and bet that the stock market would go down with the few thousand dollar i made from my internship of course this wa when covid wa just hitting so i became hugely profitable from only a couple thousand dollar to m in value in only a month th... | 1 |
i have been caught in a cycle of depression v being hyper active it is a struggle to stay focused in either of those state of being doe anyone have a track or a song or even something you made yourself to help get out of this hole i love music and i need a new sound please help | 1 |
why do i feel like when i m about to talk to someone i always see what am i lacking and how to provide solution for it and then not going to tell it in the end wtf | 1 |
i m really starting to believe my life will not get better i ve been so sad for so long i don t see a fkin point sorry for the rant just really over life and fkin shit people | 1 |
my entire body hurt i m so weak it took me minute to finally pick up my phone from my nightstand and type this i can t get myself to eat i m starving if the bathroom wasn t right next to me i d be having issue i m supposed to be doing school i can t even think about it right now i sleep hour a day and spend the rest of... | 1 |
i went to a friend wedding with my boyfriend today and had a pretty bad episode we walked into the venue and i felt fine ten minute later i m having a panic attack in the bathroom i wa mute the entire time disassociating i couldn t eat i had so much anxiety we had to leave early amp i just felt so embarrassed my bf is ... | 1 |
hey everyone i ve been a long time reader of this sub and i wan na say first of all that i wish you all the best of life truly i m writing this in great sadness my life isn t bad i ve got a good family awesome friend there s nothing obviously wrong about me i study i work i m in my early 0 i ve made the life for myself... | 1 |
i just don t know what to do i m too cowardly to just end my life once and for all but at the same time i just can t fucking take it anymore i don t get why good thing happen to bad people and bad thing happen to good people this world is unfair and bullshit and the people in it are toxic what should i do | 1 |
i ve been feeling really down recently don t really want to be alive but i know that if i tell my therapist i am suicidal she ll put in me in a psych ward so while i will tell her i m sad and depressed and why i m those thing but i won t tell her more don t really want to be in a ward probably won t try to kill myself ... | 1 |
i feel hopeless like time is passing by and i m just here useless like nothing i do or say can change a goddamn thing i m tired of feeling this way but a soon a i get close to getting out of this hole something reel me right back in i don t have anyone to share these thought with so here i am i feel stupid for even pos... | 1 |
this is a rant i saw a video about how this one person love every day of the week for a different reason and i immediately started cry cause i realized i can t remember the last time i wa excited to wake up the next day i haven t brushed my teeth in day my room is absolutely disgusting the stupidest thing make me sad o... | 1 |
like a battery in a remote s back that keep it working i wish i could also remove the battery and just turn off for a while | 1 |
this isn t getting better and i don t want to be here anymore | 1 |
hi i ve been focusing on my mental health recently and i think i have depression here are my symptom i am constantly irritated i do not like any human interaction whatsoever for some reason i just don t like dealing with other people this varies from day to day i don t know if it s from past experience but i can t stan... | 1 |
i just spent a good half of my morning trying to convince myself to get up and go to class how it is unbelievably stupid that i wa and had been skipping all the class just to lay around in bed practically doing nothing how my parent and relative would be disappointed that their money is being wasted on me me who don t ... | 1 |
my first appointment is on saturday but i can t fucking wait this out it s only two more day i need fucking help but it s over a fucking zoom call and i really can not keep going on anymore i need help so bad i don t feel comfortable talking to anybody else fuck this should i just die already i can t keep waking up any... | 1 |
just curious i ve been prescribed psychiatric medication my whole life and not a single one ha ever worked for me the best it could do is make me tired but in every other case it either did nothing or did something but not in a good way for example adderall and zoloft when i took adderall routinely in 0 9 i became maln... | 1 |
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