| id,text,created_at
|
| 1,Which Harry Potter character is best suited for an apple product. Sirius black,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344393
|
| 2,"People used to laugh at me when I would say ""I want to be an actor"" Now I'm the only one laughing",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344452
|
| 3,How much money do terrible movies make? Ridley Scott. Thank you.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344454
|
| 4,What do you call a bunch of woman in a tree A country,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344455
|
| 5,How many graphic designers does it take to change a light bulb? Does it have to be a light bulb? 'Cause I had this other idea...,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344455
|
| 6,"So this morning I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344456
|
| 7,black turf what do you call a black guy buried from the neck up Afro turf,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344457
|
| 8,"""Sir, the good news is that your colon looks great. Maybe even the best I've ever seen. The bad news is that I'm just a hobo with a hobby.""",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344458
|
| 9,How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She can fit into your wife's clothes.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344458
|
| 10,"What did John and Yoko say when their son wouldn't eat his vegetables? ""All we are saying is give peas a chance.""",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344459
|
| 11,What do you call a bulimic tree? Sycamore!,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344460
|
| 12,How can you tell ignorance from indifference? I don't know and I don't care.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344461
|
| 13,What did Keanu Reeves say to slow down his horse? Whoa.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344461
|
| 14,"Always wear high heels, it makes it easier to look down on him.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344462
|
| 15,I got my first period during Shrek 2 live in theaters which means I entered Shrek 2 a child & left a woman,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344463
|
| 16,What's the cheapest kind of meat? Deer testicals they're under a buck.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344464
|
| 17,What does a catholic eat at the movies? Pope-Corn,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344464
|
| 18,Remember when AOL was the shit? Then it sucked. Myspace was the shit. Then sucked. Facebook was the shit. Then sucked. Twitter is the shit!,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344465
|
| 19,19 and 20 got in a fight... 21,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344466
|
| 20,"So I saw a truck called 'The Morse Deliverers' reversing yesterday, For some reason it just kept on saying 'S'",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344467
|
| 21,"I celebrate International Women's Day by visiting my local CVS and torching all their 'JUST FOR MEN' products while screaming: ""NOT TODAY!""",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344467
|
| 22,What did the pickle say to the cucumber? Come on in the water's brine!,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344468
|
| 23,Why do you really not want to get pulled over in Ireland? Because the cops are Dublin the fines! (It took me a three hour car ride to come up with this... I am not a clever person),2024-11-25 16:11:26.344469
|
| 24,I'm sorry you lost the weightlifting competition. Would you like a pick me up?,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344470
|
| 25,What did one black guy say to another black guy? We're both black guys.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344470
|
| 26,Hey people who cold call my cell phone: I've got a better way for you to make money with your mouth.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344471
|
| 27,"Last night I had an Ant on me... Okay, I guess she was more of a Cougar.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344472
|
| 28,We'd like to sincerely apologize for booking the Karate Convention on the same day as the Rare Wooden Boards Fair,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344473
|
| 29,'90s movie spoiler alert: it's Kevin Spacey.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344474
|
| 30,I want to make a series about the murder of an airline crew but I still have to shoot the pilot.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344474
|
| 31,(Can we bring back the good old Chuck Norris short jokes people?-I'll start first) Chuck Norris is the first guy to have made a knot out of a diamond.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344475
|
| 32,Can somebody explain to me the uproar over the CEO editing posts? I mean... what part of Chief Editing Officer don't these people understand?,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344476
|
| 33,Do you know why I hate drinking with blind people? They can't handle their booze and always black-out.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344476
|
| 34,This party is boring. Let's make like a baby and head out.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344477
|
| 35,whats the most useless thing on a woman a drunken irishman,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344478
|
| 36,"One I heard at a restaurant ""Am I the first girl you ever kissed?"" She whispered softly to her date. ""It's possible"" he admitted, ""Were you at Lake Geneva in 2004?""",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344479
|
| 37,I never drop names but I frequently drop babies.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344479
|
| 38,"Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog licking his balls... One of them says, ""man, I wish I could do that!"" The other says, ""well, maybe you should pet him first.""",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344480
|
| 39,Just got out of a 13 month coma Just in time to see my child born!,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344481
|
| 40,GOD: hey can I have one of your ribs Adam: what for GOD: uhh science project Adam: you hate science GOD: look do u wanna get laid or not,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344482
|
| 41,I like my women like I like my coffee ground up and in the freezer.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344482
|
| 42,Lost both my arms in an accident. The whole incident left me utterly humerless.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344483
|
| 43,"If u want to sound smart just make up coding languages. Like ""yeah I know DeltaCube, 17v and Amorph,"" literally nobody will know theyre fake",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344484
|
| 44,Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes? There was a sin tax error. [8.5],2024-11-25 16:11:26.344484
|
| 45,I think my virginity has grown back.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344485
|
| 46,I saw a really nasty wreck on the way to work this morning... ...wish I had had time to pick her up.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344486
|
| 47,"I love you so much, I'll just sit at home and stare at my phone to make you notice.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344487
|
| 48,I heard Cobras dance to music. I played some Justin Bieber for my pet Cobra and he bit himself and died.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344487
|
| 49,I have feelings for you. Please take them and leave.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344488
|
| 50,How did Jesus get so ripped? By doing Crossfit,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344489
|
| 51,What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? My cock while I'm doing it.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344490
|
| 52,"Abusing a word, done correctly I have eye opening experiences every day, quite literally.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344490
|
| 53,Why do pirates like TIG welding so much? Because they have a good supply of ARRgon.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344491
|
| 54,"What do my wife and a chest freezer have in common? The exterior is hot, but its cold as ice inside.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344492
|
| 55,My 6 year old nephew is legitimately pissed off that there is no actual monkey in the monkey bread.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344493
|
| 56,sorry I broke up with you in the middle of a corn maze,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344493
|
| 57,My friends definitely cannot handle their alcohol. Last night they dropped me 3 times carrying me out of the bar,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344494
|
| 58,I was more nervous than a whore in church to tell you this But your about as useless as tits on a nun,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344495
|
| 59,Why was the actor detained by airport security? He said he was in town to shoot a pilot.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344495
|
| 60,What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Q: What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? A: [Sound effect - - gagging noises],2024-11-25 16:11:26.344496
|
| 61,Why does Saturday stink? Because it has a turd in it.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344497
|
| 62,"LunchablesTM? huge waste of money! I have my kids mill their own wheat then hunt, kill & field strip a wild bologna",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344498
|
| 63,"""OMG I'm so wet right now"" - Me after washing a spoon",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344498
|
| 64,Why did the chicken... ...cross the Mobius strip?,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344499
|
| 65,My greatest fear is that I'll be reported as a missing person and my family guesstimates my weight way higher than what I actually weigh,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344500
|
| 66,What is the cheapest kind of meat? Deer balls they are under a buck!,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344500
|
| 67,What's a Norwegian's favourite car? A Fjord Fjesta,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344501
|
| 68,[creepy mansion] ME: That portrait is watching us MAN: No way ME: [goes right up to portrait] I'm vegan PORTRAIT: [rolls eyes] ME: I knew it,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344502
|
| 69,I hate it when my wife asks if I've been drinking and I accidentally respond with a 9-minute air guitar solo.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344503
|
| 70,"Barista asks a customer if they would like their coffee black Customer replies ""what other colors do you have?""",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344503
|
| 71,My HP printer died today It was like a Brother to me.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344504
|
| 72,"""I don't need any love from any man. I only need to love and be loved by ONE man. He is the Son of God, JESUS!"".......just say u have been dumped.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344505
|
| 73,Teacher: What came after the stone age and the bronze age? Pupil: The sausage!,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344506
|
| 74,"Pixar has made me feel affection towards rats, bugs, fish, robots, monsters and even cars. The real test would be a movie about coworkers.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344506
|
| 75,"If you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my obsession with pointing out doors to people, well, there's the door.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344507
|
| 76,"Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344508
|
| 77,"To me, ""drink responsibly"" means don't spill it.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344509
|
| 78,I carry two crickets around in a small box so when I say something that isn't funny I can supply my own sound effects. They get real tired.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344509
|
| 79,"Two Goldfish Are Sitting In A Tank One turns to the other and says ""I'll man the guns, you drive""",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344510
|
| 80,How do you kill Donald Trump? You gotta guess for this one hint: it's in the name? It's a TRUMPet,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344511
|
| 81,HEY CALEB- YOUR COW IS INFERTILE AND YOUR SISTER LIKES DANCING. -Amish trash talk,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344511
|
| 82,After legalizing gay marriages the US became 50 states of gay,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344512
|
| 83,It's weird that gasoline smells good but tastes amazing,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344513
|
| 84,"When I was single, my most frequently used approach with women was to play hard to get rid of.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344514
|
| 85,"A woman was on trial for murdering her husband with his guitar. The judge asked, ""First offender?"" She replied, ""No. First it was the Gibson, then the Fender.""",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344514
|
| 86,Why did the thoroughbred break up with the wild horse? Because she was looking for a stable relationship.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344515
|
| 87,Classic rock is like listening to drugs.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344516
|
| 88,Whats better then getting a gold medal in the Paralympics? Walking.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344516
|
| 89,2016 strikes again. The inventor of the inappropriate innuendo has died. His family are taking it really hard.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344517
|
| 90,What do you call a wolf that's aware of its surroundings? Awarewolf,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344518
|
| 91,I don't like thinking about gravity. It brings me down.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344519
|
| 92,Knock Knock Who's there ! Anita ! Anita who ? Anita you like I need a hole in the head !,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344519
|
| 93,OH MY GOD EDDIE MURPHY IS GOING TO DO STAND UP I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT oh never mind they're going to commercial. #SNL40,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344520
|
| 94,All the roles in Gravity were played by Martin Lawrence.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344521
|
| 95,What do you call a lesbian with big hands Well hung...,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344522
|
| 96,You can tune a guitar... but you can't tuna fish!,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344522
|
| 97,You stop bad music with a tuning fork. How do you stop bad singing? A pitchfork,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344523
|
| 98,"So a neutron walks into a bar He asks the bartender ""how much for drink?"" The bartender replies, ""For you, no charge.""",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344524
|
| 99,What is a Mexican's most favourite sport? Cross-country,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344525
|
| 100,"A dog with a cowboy hat, spurs and a cigar limps in through the swinging doors of a saloon... ...He says, ""I'm looking for the man who shot my paw""",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344525
|
| 101,"You're the bomb A Muslim walks into an airport wearing the flashiest clothes, he meets a friend who shouts at him you're the bomb. Everyone sets of sprinting in all directions.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344526
|
| 102,I'd like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344527
|
| 103,Free range chicken is better. The false illusion of freedom before slaughter makes them extra tender.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344527
|
| 104,What advice did the frog give to the condom manufacturer? Rib it.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344528
|
| 105,Skydiving without a parachute... Is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I heard this on a spotify ad and it cracked me up. I thought I'd share it.:) Edit: fixed an auto correct mistake,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344529
|
| 106,What did the Nazi say to the clock that went tick-tick-tick? Ve have vays of making you tock...,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344530
|
| 107,"Dear messed-up memory, please tell me where are my keys instead of reminding me that shit I did on May 08, 2002 at 09;13;54 PM.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344530
|
| 108,What did the horse say when he fell down? I've fallen and I can't giddyup.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344531
|
| 109,"I got a thesaurus the other day, but all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am!",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344532
|
| 110,Happy World Alzheimer's Day! Or was it yesterday??,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344532
|
| 111,"""Bitches always be conforming to unhealthy standards set and perpetuated by the media."" - socially conscious rapper",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344533
|
| 112,The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344534
|
| 113,Donald Trump is about to watch an episode of his current favorite TV show... Orange is the New Black,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344535
|
| 114,What do you call the mean and dusty winds of the desert? Darude Sandstorm,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344535
|
| 115,"Everyone always makes fun of my man purse until I bust out a bottle of wine, a bag of weed, a bong, milk, cookies and a cheese platter.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344536
|
| 116,"I heard on the radio that protestors in Beijing are demanding authentic democratic reforms. Unfortunately, all they can get is cheap Chinese knockoffs.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344537
|
| 117,"Once a person turns 60, the ""reply all"" feature should no longer be available to them when sending emails.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344538
|
| 118,How do you make a bandstand? Take away their chairs,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344538
|
| 119,What do you call a building you can't locate? A warehouse,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344539
|
| 120,What do you call a security blanket for a mentally handicapped person? A downs comforter.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344540
|
| 121,"[Cat birthday party] *Cat opens gift from her husband* ""It's...an empty box."" *silence* ""Oh honey, I love it!""",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344541
|
| 122,I wish snacks could talk so they could verify my whereabouts from 1 am to 3 am this morning.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344541
|
| 123,"What did the dwarf pimp say to his working girl? Hi hoe, hi hoe. It's off to work you go!",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344542
|
| 124,A blind man walks into the bar... And the table... And the chair...,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344543
|
| 125,"What is the distinction between a man that has had a vasectomy and one who hasn't? I don't know, as far as I'm concerned there's not a vas deferens.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344543
|
| 126,"What did Yoda say to Luke when he was constipated? Try or try not, there is no do.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344544
|
| 127,The best times of my life were spent either blowing bubbles or playing with titties...,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344545
|
| 128,"How was your trip to Israel? This month they had Sukkot (the festival of tabernacles) It was pretty ""in tents"".",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344546
|
| 129,How did the steak chef at the courthouse like his paycheck? In legal tender,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344546
|
| 130,(DARK HUMOR) Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344547
|
| 131,Why was the sea snail sad? Because it was abalonely,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344548
|
| 132,I used to really enjoy smoking cigarettes... but now it tastes like they simply turn to ash in my mouth.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344548
|
| 133,My chess board grew a tumor Thankfully it's B-9,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344549
|
| 134,Old bankers never die... ...They just lose interest.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344550
|
| 135,Pilot: Tower there's a runway light burning. Tower: I'm sure there must be dozens of lights burning. Pilot: Sorry I mean it's smoking.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344551
|
| 136,"Einstein took naps during the day. So if you want to be smarter, my advice is to take more naps while having an IQ of 160.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344554
|
| 137,"Is that all? ""I wanna stab you."" Huh? ""Cut your throat."" What? ""Drink your blood."" Um. ""Have your baby."" Uh. ""Kidding! I'll have a coke.""",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344555
|
| 138,Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War ? Robert E Flea !,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344556
|
| 139,What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up someone's ass.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344557
|
| 140,Good thing Father's Day is only one day. I don't think I could stand to be a father longer than that.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344558
|
| 141,"There are 10 different types of people in the world Those that understand binary, and those that don't",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344558
|
| 142,Time flies like an arrow.. Fruit flies like a banana.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344559
|
| 143,What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet? Egyptian dummies.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344560
|
| 144,"If anyone needs any morals, I have some I'm not using.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344561
|
| 145,What does sex have in common with a savings account? You lose interest once you make a withdrawal.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344561
|
| 146,What did the 5 dollar bill day to the 1 dollar bill? Atleast I'm not single,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344562
|
| 147,Apologies to Rudyard Kipling but . . . If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs. . . . maybe you don't understand the gravity of the situation.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344563
|
| 148,Father Christmas: Excuse me but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream? Lady: You certainly did! Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I'm back in the right row!,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344563
|
| 149,It's always Sunny in Florida Until the filthy Shia move into the neighborhood.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344564
|
| 150,My girlfriend got a sex change. I'm not crazy about it but she's happy as Larry,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344565
|
| 151,They're saying I put a stuffed animal in the toilet. Untrue. I sent it on a mission to retrieve my toy cars.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344566
|
| 152,I did some research to study if women like to use soap or body wash when they shower. 100% of them didn't like me watching them while they bathed.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344566
|
| 153,What do you call a wet bear? A drizzly bear.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344567
|
| 154,How to make $500 fast Attach it to a rocket Credit: 4chan,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344568
|
| 155,What's the difference between jokes and dicks? Your mother can't take 3 jokes at the same time.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344568
|
| 156,I'm not a gynechologist But I'll take a look,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344569
|
| 157,My girlfriend and I tried Anal sex for the first time today. It was a little ruff at first but I'm finally managing to sit down again.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344570
|
| 158,Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344571
|
| 159,Do you know why George Washington 's father forgive him? Because Washington still holding the axe,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344571
|
| 160,"What did one suicide bomber say to the next? Nothing, he just waved. #punchlinesthatdontwork",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344572
|
| 161,A guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in his ear and a piece of celery up his nose. The doctor told him he wasn't eating right.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344573
|
| 162,Why did the mafia cross the road? Hey forget about it,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344574
|
| 163,Meatballs have bread crumbs inside them. Meat plus bread means that a meatball is actually a sandwich.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344574
|
| 164,If you drop your cellphone in water put it in a bowl of rice... It will attract an Asian who will fix it for you. (just heard from buddy of mine),2024-11-25 16:11:26.344575
|
| 165,This doughnut scented car air freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344576
|
| 166,My local police chief does a talk on heroin... So you can't understand any of it.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344576
|
| 167,"Patient: Doctor please kiss me! Doctor: I am sorry, I can't! My code of ethics forbids me to kissing my patients. Honestly speaking we should not be having sex either.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344577
|
| 168,How do you get an Indian girl pregnant? Poppadom.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344578
|
| 169,What's the best part of living in Alabama? You don't live in Mississippi.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344579
|
| 170,"If ever I commit murder, I'm doing it with Indian flatbread. Naan violent crimes get shorter sentences in respect for their counterparts.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344579
|
| 171,me: what's ur favorite thing on the menu waiter: oh definitely the salmon me: oh yes ok i'll have the *orders something that is not salmon*,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344580
|
| 172,How does a crackhead order their whiskey? On the rocks,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344581
|
| 173,Bud light is alot like sex in a canoe... It's fucking close to water,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344582
|
| 174,The only time my car goes 0-100 real fast. Is when it's sitting in broad daylight on a summer day.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344582
|
| 175,"Two antennas fell in love.. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344583
|
| 176,"[stops girl before she walks in the puddle] ""I got this one babe, *pulling out a straw* stand back""",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344584
|
| 177,I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know y.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344584
|
| 178,"best joke When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctor's office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With a shaking voice, he asked, ""Do I have to drink it",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344585
|
| 179,How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man? None,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344586
|
| 180,What do you call a gangster who is really in touch with his emotions? An emo-g ,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344587
|
| 181,What was the dog doing on the turnpike? About seven miles an hour.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344587
|
| 182,I asked my chemistry teacher if we can revise oxides Because im a bit rusty,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344588
|
| 183,"Scientists report global context shortage. ""I guess I'll have flan,"" some scientist said, totally out of context.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344589
|
| 184,"[in hell] Me: *sneeze* The devil: bless you Me, waving as I float to heaven: haha, fool the devil: DAMN YOU Me, floating back to hell: dang",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344589
|
| 185,Feminism thats the joke,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344590
|
| 186,Just once I want to wake up to something exciting. *Wakes up next to spider crawling on pillow.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344591
|
| 187,"i like to write the word ""gullible"" on the ceiling then say ""hey, look it says gullible on the ceiling."" i don't really understand jokes.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344592
|
| 188,Do you believe in life after love? Ted Bundy apparently didn't.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344592
|
| 189,"Look, if all you have is candy corn in this van, I'm going to have to get out.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344593
|
| 190,What's the difference between pizza and a jew? Pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344594
|
| 191,The best thing to do on New Years Eve is set the microwave timer with the countdown so the first thing that happens that year is Pizza Rolls,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344595
|
| 192,"My sister had a threesome with two huge pornstars. Now she's not sure if she had a good time or not. Truth is, she's a little torn.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344595
|
| 193,So apparently it's rude if somebody asks if you have a light & you tell them they'll have to go to the end of the tunnel to find it...,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344596
|
| 194,What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Kurt Cobain? Hitler had a reason to kill himself.,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344597
|
| 195,"If Reese Witherspoon doesn't call her poop ""Reese's Feces"" she's missing out on a clear opportunity to be awesome.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344597
|
| 196,"A joke my grandfather told me about insecurity Never mind, it's stupid",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344598
|
| 197,I'm the most anti-social person I know,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344599
|
| 198,What do you call a blonde on a college campus? A visitor,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344600
|
| 199,"What I say to someone who's being crabby: Clam down, I'm shore it'll be fine.",2024-11-25 16:11:26.344600
|
| 200,What is a support group for lesbian mathematicians called? Number Munchers!,2024-11-25 16:11:26.344601
|
| |