transcript/TED_4jwUXV4QaTw.txt

[0.000 --> 5.160]  Nonverbels are anything that communicates but is not a word.
[5.160 --> 8.500]  The public knows them as body language.
[8.500 --> 12.600]  How we dress, how we walk, have meaning,
[12.600 --> 17.800]  and we use that to interpret what's in the mind of the person.
[17.800 --> 30.200]  My name is Joan Avaro and for 25 years I was a special agent with the FBI.
[30.200 --> 33.200]  My job was to catch spies.
[33.200 --> 37.200]  Most of my career I spent within the National Security Division.
[37.200 --> 42.200]  A lot of it had to do with looking at specific targets and then it was about,
[42.200 --> 45.800]  how do we get in their heads and how do we neutralize them.
[45.800 --> 48.800]  Our security is based on nonverbels.
[48.800 --> 51.200]  We look at the person through the people.
[51.200 --> 54.700]  We look at who's behind us at the ATM machine.
[54.700 --> 60.200]  We know from the research that most of us select our mates based on nonverbels.
[60.200 --> 66.700]  So we may think we're very sophisticated but in fact we are never in a state
[66.700 --> 69.700]  where we're not transmitting information.
[69.700 --> 72.700]  There's a lot of myths out there.
[72.800 --> 78.600]  The ones that stand out is if you cross your arms that it's a blocking behavior.
[78.600 --> 80.100]  That's just nonsense.
[80.100 --> 83.300]  Even when you don't like the person that is in front of you,
[83.300 --> 84.900]  this isn't to block them out.
[84.900 --> 88.300]  It's actually to self-suit because in essence it's a self-hug.
[88.300 --> 91.900]  When you're sitting at a movie and you're watching, you're going to cross your arms.
[91.900 --> 93.400]  You're waiting for somebody.
[93.400 --> 94.800]  You tend to do this.
[94.800 --> 99.100]  What's interesting is we do this behavior more in public than in private.
[99.100 --> 104.000]  The other one that really stands out is as we think about something,
[104.000 --> 106.200]  we may look in a certain way.
[106.200 --> 109.700]  As we process the information, we may look in another way.
[109.700 --> 114.400]  It's certainly not indicative of deception and it really shouldn't be used that way.
[114.400 --> 117.700]  All we can say is the person is processing the information.
[117.700 --> 121.700]  The other misconceptions are that if the person clears or throats,
[121.700 --> 125.200]  touches their nose or covers their mouth, they're lying.
[125.300 --> 129.000]  We do these behaviors as self-suthers.
[129.000 --> 134.400]  They're pacifying behaviors scientifically and empirically.
[134.400 --> 136.600]  There's just no Pinocchio effect.
[136.600 --> 138.800]  And people who prattle that and say,
[138.800 --> 144.600]  well, we can detect deception because the person touches their nose or covers their mouth.
[144.600 --> 146.100]  That's just sheer nonsense.
[146.100 --> 150.300]  We humans are lousy at detecting deception.
[150.400 --> 155.200]  Espionage work is often nowhere near what we see in movies.
[155.200 --> 159.900]  And in one of the cases, we had information from another country saying,
[159.900 --> 166.900]  you have an American we think is actually a mole who somehow entered the United States
[166.900 --> 169.300]  is able to pass as an American,
[169.300 --> 172.900]  but he's here working for a hostile intelligence service.
[172.900 --> 175.400]  And just fortuitously,
[175.400 --> 179.600]  he was videographed coming out of a flower shop.
[179.600 --> 183.700]  We're looking at the video and everybody in our small unit,
[183.700 --> 185.700]  we were saying, well, there's not much there.
[185.700 --> 188.400]  He's coming out of the shop, getting in his car.
[188.400 --> 191.000]  And I said, stop the film right there.
[191.000 --> 194.200]  Just as he came out of the shop, he took the flowers.
[194.200 --> 198.400]  And most Americans tend to hold the flowers by the stock
[198.400 --> 200.200]  so that the flowers are up.
[200.200 --> 205.900]  This individual took them and grabbed the stock and then held the flowers
[205.900 --> 207.900]  so that they were facing down.
[208.000 --> 211.000]  And I said, that's how they carry flowers in Eastern Europe.
[211.000 --> 214.800]  Rather than confront him about, are you a spy?
[214.800 --> 217.500]  I decided to do what's called a presumptive.
[217.500 --> 222.400]  So as I sat there with him, I said, would you like to know how we know?
[222.400 --> 226.800]  And he had this look on his face and I said, it was the flowers.
[226.800 --> 229.800]  And then he confessed.
[229.800 --> 231.800]  When I came into law enforcement,
[231.800 --> 235.100]  I thought it was all about the confession.
[235.100 --> 237.100]  It's really about FaceTime.
[237.100 --> 243.800]  In my 25 years in the FBI, it was a rarity that a person
[243.800 --> 248.900]  didn't eventually reveal what I needed to know
[248.900 --> 256.000]  because we would sit down and have these very lengthy conversations.
[256.000 --> 259.500]  I look at behaviors to do an assessment.
[259.500 --> 264.000]  What is this person transmitting in relations to any stimuli?
[264.000 --> 270.500]  My further questioning comes from my observing these behaviors.
[270.500 --> 273.100]  The first thing I look at is I look at the hair.
[273.100 --> 274.400]  Does it look healthy?
[274.400 --> 276.100]  Does it look well groomed?
[276.100 --> 281.200]  The forehead is very interesting because a lot of times we reveal stress.
[281.200 --> 286.000]  A lot of the things that we have gone through life are often etched in the forehead.
[286.000 --> 289.800]  I look at the eyes to see if they're red or not enough sleep.
[289.800 --> 293.700]  The small area here between the eyes called the globella.
[293.700 --> 297.800]  It's one of the first areas that reveals information to us.
[297.800 --> 300.600]  Most often when we don't like something,
[300.600 --> 303.600]  we do that bunny nose of I don't like.
[303.600 --> 306.600]  We don't really know what our lips look like.
[306.600 --> 310.200]  And we tend to compress them when something bothers us,
[310.200 --> 313.600]  when something really bothers us, we tend to suck them in.
[313.600 --> 316.000]  The mandibula and look at the cheeks.
[316.000 --> 317.500]  We may do something like this.
[317.500 --> 323.100]  We'll rub our tongue against the inside of the cheek.
[323.200 --> 325.000]  But when we try to hide it,
[325.000 --> 329.500]  then it tells me that this person is trying to do some perception management.
[329.500 --> 331.600]  And if they are, I want to know why.
[331.600 --> 334.500]  At the neck, I want to see if there's any head tilt.
[334.500 --> 337.200]  Because head tilt, the person is more relaxed.
[337.200 --> 339.200]  The minute the head tilt goes away,
[339.200 --> 340.900]  there's usually some issue.
[340.900 --> 342.700]  I'm looking at the shoulders.
[342.700 --> 344.500]  You ask somebody a question and they don't know,
[344.500 --> 346.700]  both shoulders shoot up very quickly.
[346.700 --> 348.700]  And then I look at the hands.
[348.700 --> 350.500]  When something's troubling us,
[350.500 --> 353.900]  we tend to stiffen our fingers, interlace them,
[353.900 --> 356.400]  and almost like a teepee,
[356.400 --> 361.000]  we move our hands back and forth very slowly.
[361.000 --> 365.600]  This is to be differentiated from when we do the steeple,
[365.600 --> 367.500]  which we do in this position.
[367.500 --> 369.200]  When something's at issue,
[369.200 --> 371.700]  we tend to put our hands on our hips
[371.700 --> 374.000]  and we become very territorial.
[374.000 --> 375.900]  This is called arms a Kimbo.
[375.900 --> 378.000]  But look how it changes.
[378.100 --> 380.400]  When we put our thumbs forward,
[380.400 --> 384.000]  and then it becomes one of more of, I'm inquisitive.
[384.000 --> 388.600]  But I also look for any behaviors of ventilating,
[388.600 --> 391.700]  because men tend to ventilate at the neck,
[391.700 --> 395.200]  and we do at the very instant something bothers us.
[395.200 --> 399.500]  And then I look at the legs to see if there's any brushing
[399.500 --> 401.600]  of the legs with the hands,
[401.600 --> 404.300]  which is again, to pacify.
[404.300 --> 407.600]  And then the feet do I see any behaviors
[407.600 --> 411.200]  such as wiggling of the feet, kicking of the feet.
[411.200 --> 414.400]  If I ask a question and all of a sudden the feet with draw
[414.400 --> 417.400]  in our cross, perhaps the person feels a little threatened
[417.400 --> 418.400]  by that question.
[418.400 --> 420.100]  So when we study nonverbals,
[420.100 --> 422.900]  it's not about making judgments,
[422.900 --> 426.800]  it's about assessing what is this person transmitting
[426.800 --> 427.800]  in that moment.
[429.900 --> 433.800]  It really is looking at an individual and saying,
[433.800 --> 435.600]  what are they transmitting?
[435.700 --> 438.400]  We're all transmitting at all times.
[438.400 --> 441.200]  We choose the clothes that we wear,
[441.200 --> 444.200]  how we groom ourselves, how we dress,
[444.200 --> 446.400]  but also how do we carry ourselves?
[446.400 --> 449.800]  Are we coming to the office on this particular day
[449.800 --> 451.000]  with a lot of energy,
[451.000 --> 454.700]  or are we coming in with a different sort of pace?
[454.700 --> 458.000]  And what we look for are differences in behavior
[458.000 --> 463.100]  down to the minutia of what is this individual's posture
[463.100 --> 465.400]  as they're walking down the street,
[465.500 --> 467.800]  are they on the inside of the sidewalk,
[467.800 --> 469.000]  on the outside?
[469.000 --> 470.800]  Can we see his blink rate?
[470.800 --> 473.800]  Can we see how often he's looking at his watch?
[473.800 --> 477.200]  I know your blink rate is around eight times a minute,
[477.200 --> 478.200]  but you don't know that.
[478.200 --> 480.200]  You're not sitting there counting.
[480.200 --> 483.200]  All these things factor in because they're transmitting
[483.200 --> 484.200]  information.
[484.200 --> 488.400]  Now it's up to us to then use that information to say,
[488.400 --> 490.900]  okay, we need to marshal resources
[490.900 --> 493.600]  to be on that individual right now.
[496.200 --> 505.800]  So in most Western cultures,
[505.800 --> 509.800]  the first time people touch is when they shake hands.
[509.800 --> 512.700]  Touching becomes that important
[512.700 --> 514.600]  because we can always remember a time
[514.600 --> 517.800]  when we shook hands with someone and we didn't like that.
[517.800 --> 522.200]  It's also the first time when our bodies release
[522.700 --> 525.800]  bonding chemicals that say I like this person
[525.800 --> 527.300]  or I don't like this person.
[527.300 --> 532.600]  So hand shaking is both necessary and essential
[532.600 --> 533.600]  in most cultures.
[540.600 --> 542.600]  Ladies, hi, I'm Joe Navarro.
[542.600 --> 543.400]  Joe, I'm Laura.
[543.400 --> 544.400]  Laura, how are you?
[544.400 --> 545.600]  And you are?
[545.600 --> 547.000]  Katisha, how are you?
[547.000 --> 548.000]  Okay.
[548.000 --> 549.600]  Let me ask you this.
[549.600 --> 551.000]  Let's back up a little bit.
[552.800 --> 554.600]  Is this comfortable for you?
[554.600 --> 555.400]  Yes.
[555.400 --> 556.600]  Yeah.
[556.600 --> 558.600]  It's a little bit more comfortable.
[558.600 --> 560.200]  But it's not for you, is it?
[560.200 --> 561.200]  No.
[561.200 --> 562.000]  All right.
[562.000 --> 562.800]  Thank you.
[562.800 --> 563.400]  All right.
[563.400 --> 564.800]  So keep talking.
[566.400 --> 569.900]  What we've done here is we've talked about the importance
[569.900 --> 572.400]  of space and comfort.
[572.400 --> 576.200]  They don't realize is how much further apart they are now
[576.200 --> 581.600]  standing and it's because we have brought this subject up
[581.600 --> 585.200]  to make them comfortable about saying, hey,
[585.200 --> 589.400]  it's okay to be comfortable at your perfect distance.
[589.400 --> 594.200]  And so now we see when they rock, they rock away from each other
[594.200 --> 597.200]  and they create this space.
[597.200 --> 601.900]  If you notice, their feet tend to move around more.
[601.900 --> 607.000]  There's a dynamic going on here where they're kind of
[607.000 --> 609.700]  trying to find, well, what is the perfect space?
[609.700 --> 611.700]  What is the perfect distance?
[611.700 --> 614.900]  And we know that they're unsettled because of the high
[614.900 --> 617.900]  degree of movement that's going on.
[623.300 --> 625.200]  Poker is an interesting game.
[625.200 --> 630.100]  The similitudes of sitting across from a spy or sitting across
[630.100 --> 634.900]  from players, it's their reactions to a stimulus.
[634.900 --> 639.900]  We have behaviors indicative of psychological discomfort
[639.900 --> 645.300]  that we use at home, at work, or at the poker table.
[645.300 --> 648.100]  So we're going to take a look at poker players and some of
[648.100 --> 653.100]  the body language that you'll find at a typical poker game.
[653.100 --> 653.600]  All right.
[653.600 --> 655.600]  All right.
[655.600 --> 659.600]  So we'll pause it right there.
[659.600 --> 663.300]  So one of the things that you first notice is that when a
[663.300 --> 666.700]  table is called, this is the first time many of them see
[666.700 --> 667.700]  each other.
[667.700 --> 672.100]  This is a great opportunity to be looking for behaviors
[672.100 --> 674.100]  indicative of discomfort.
[674.100 --> 677.200]  We're going to see the individual shifting in his chair.
[677.200 --> 680.700]  We're going to see one individual reaching over and
[680.700 --> 682.300]  grabbing his shoulder.
[682.300 --> 686.100]  The woman in this case, her shoulders are rather high.
[686.100 --> 689.300]  This is a great opportunity, even before the game starts to
[689.300 --> 692.200]  collect poker intelligence.
[692.600 --> 693.600]  All right, guys.
[693.600 --> 695.600]  What is good?
[695.600 --> 697.600]  So we'll stop right there.
[697.600 --> 699.600]  Look where their hands are at.
[699.600 --> 702.400]  Here we're looking at player number two and number three.
[702.400 --> 706.400]  And we notice right away that their hands are on top of the cards.
[706.400 --> 708.700]  Some players will cage their cards.
[708.700 --> 712.200]  Some players will put their hands directly on top and press
[712.200 --> 713.000]  them down.
[713.000 --> 717.000]  And they may do that because the cards have now increased in value.
[717.000 --> 720.000]  Player number one tends to keep his hands very close to his
[720.000 --> 720.900]  body.
[720.900 --> 725.100]  Player number four, she's actually withdrawn her hands from the
[725.100 --> 729.000]  table because when we like things, we tend to move our hands
[729.000 --> 729.900]  forward.
[729.900 --> 734.000]  When we don't like things, we tend to move the hands away.
[734.000 --> 735.800]  Guys, only cards.
[735.800 --> 739.000]  So as we look at player number three, I'm often asked about
[739.000 --> 741.800]  players who shuffle their chips.
[741.800 --> 744.600]  What you're really doing is self-suiting.
[744.600 --> 747.400]  And this just helps you to make it through the game.
[747.400 --> 750.800]  And that's really all we're looking for.
[750.800 --> 752.600]  Oh, come on.
[752.600 --> 755.200]  OK, so we'll stop right there.
[755.200 --> 758.400]  Player number five is sitting there, arms crossed.
[758.400 --> 760.400]  You don't see a lot of activity.
[760.400 --> 763.900]  That doesn't mean he's not transmitting a lot of information.
[763.900 --> 768.400]  On down the line, I want to see where those thumbs of his are
[768.400 --> 772.400]  because he holds them very close when nothing's going on.
[772.400 --> 776.000]  But does that change as the game evolves?
[776.000 --> 777.300]  If you're looking at non-verbals, it's
[777.300 --> 780.700]  often useful to look at them at double the speed because all
[780.700 --> 784.200]  the non-verbals that are critical jump out at you as though
[784.200 --> 786.200]  it were a caricature.
[786.200 --> 790.800]  All right, so stop right there.
[790.800 --> 794.300]  The woman in position number four, you see her head moving
[794.300 --> 795.800]  around quite a bit.
[795.800 --> 800.400]  Player number three, you see a lot of activity with his hands.
[800.400 --> 804.400]  When we look at player number five, now his hands are fully
[804.400 --> 805.000]  out.
[805.000 --> 808.400]  This is as far as we've seen them before.
[808.400 --> 811.200]  At this point, we know that he's engaged and that he's
[811.200 --> 812.700]  interested.
[812.700 --> 815.400]  Now, the game is out in the open.
[815.400 --> 820.300]  75% to 80% of the information we need is sitting out there.
[820.300 --> 823.500]  What you often see is everybody's looking at their own cards
[823.500 --> 827.100]  or looking at the community cards rather than looking around.
[827.100 --> 830.200]  You should be looking around to see what was the reaction
[830.200 --> 833.700]  because you're going to see that reaction again.
[833.700 --> 838.100]  In poker, we used to say that you can have a poker face,
[838.100 --> 841.700]  but I encountered you can't have a poker body.
[841.700 --> 846.100]  Somewhere, it's going to be revealed.
[846.100 --> 850.200]  When I was in college in the early 70s, there were really no
[850.200 --> 853.200]  courses on non-verbal communications.
[853.200 --> 857.400]  You quickly realize that to a great extent, it's really about
[857.400 --> 859.600]  what you can interpret from behavior.
[859.600 --> 863.100]  And so we talk about non-verbels because it matters,
[863.100 --> 866.100]  because it has gravitas, because it affects how we
[866.100 --> 867.600]  communicate with each other.
[867.600 --> 871.600]  When it comes to non-verbels, this is no small matter.
[871.600 --> 877.600]  We primarily communicate non-verbaly, and we always will.