| You. – What’s your name? – Melissa. – Melissa, where you from? – Santa Clara. – What do you do? – I win things on the radio. – You win things on the radio? – Yeah. Follow-up question, how’d you get tickets to this? Let me ask you this. You ever, uh… you ever find a body in the woods? Ever do that? No? It’s okay. I have. I was walking through the woods one day and… some poor bastard had stepped in a bear trap or something. I never told anybody about it. But I went back there a week later, and he was dead. Yeah. I do crazy shit like that all the time. What can I say? I’m wacky.The other night I was driving my car. I was driving my car and I ran over a deer… a dear, dear friend.I’m torn constantly. At night, I do shows, but during the day, I’ve got a hobby. During the day, I go from town to town… and I shut down the local abortion clinic. You heard me. I shut down abortion clinics everywhere I go. It’s easy for me. I’m charming. I stand outside the front doors all day long and… consistently underbid them.You guys mad about that one? It’s gonna get so much fuckin’ worse. |