| Couple of weeks go by, I’m hanging out in my dorm room, having a good time, when the phone rings. It’s my grandma. “Anthony, just calling to see how college is going.” “Grandma, college is the best. I’m having the time of my life. But to be honest, I’m starting to run low on money, and I could use a little bit, like we talked about.” She said, “Okay, well let me ask you this: Have you been reading your Bible?” And I said, “Totally, Grandma, I’m on chapter four.” She said, “Okay, Anthony, I guess I’ll talk to you later.” Hung up the phone. Couple of months go by. Now I’m really starting to struggle financially. Might have to drop out of school, so I call my grandma in a panic. I say, “Please, it’s Anthony. I’m having the time of my life in college. But if I wanna graduate, and I do, I need you to send me some money like we talked about.” She said, “Anthony, let me ask you this: Have you been reading your Bible?” And I said, “Yes, Grandma! I wish it was longer!” And she said, “Okay, Anthony. I guess I’ll talk to you later.” Finally, it’s the end of the school year. I’ve got straight A’s, but I’m dropping out of college, ’cause I have no more money left. And I’m furious, close to tears, cleaning out my dorm room, when the phone rings. It’s my grandma. “Anthony, I heard you’re dropping out of school today. How come?” And I said, “You know goddamn well how come, Grandma! ‘Cause you wouldn’t give me any money.” She said, “Anthony, let me ask you this: Did you read your Bible?” And I just hung up the phone. I was so pissed off. Took everything out of that room. Last thing I took off the shelf, the last thing I took out of that room, was that Bible my grandma had given me. Took it off the shelf, held it in my hands, and for the first time, I actually opened it up. And on the very first page, in my grandmother’s handwriting, it said, “Fuck you.” |