| On the day of the funeral, I was halfway through jerking off, my body arched in the air, when my brothers and sisters barged into my room in their mourning garb and delivered their letter, formally disowning me. When I ignored it, my younger brother smashed my computer, which I valued more than myself, with a wooden bat. Meanwhile, my older brother, the one with a black belt and karate, stormed over in a blind rage and beat the crap out of me. |