My brother in-law (Sammy) lost his home shortly after his divorce 10 months ago. He moved in with us and brought his twin daughters (Olivia & Sloane18) with him a couple of months ago.\\nHis sister (my wife) and I have one daughter (Zoey 16) and she and her cousins aren't close but get along fine.
\\n\\nOlivia & Sloane have no respect for Zoey's privacy, none. they used to walk into her room and take everything they get their hands on. Makeup, phone accessories, clothes, school laptop etc. Zoey complained a lot and I've already asked the girls to respect Zoey's privacy and stop taking things. My wife and Sammy saw no issue with this. After all, they're girls and this's typical teenage girls behavior. I completely disagreed.
\\n\\nLast straw was when Zoey bought a 60$ m.a.c makeup-kit that looks like a paintset that she saved up for over a month and one of the girls, Sloane took it without permission and ruined it by mixing shades together while using it. Don't know much about makeup but that's what Zoey said when she found the kit on her bed, and was crying.\\nI told my wife and she said she'd ask Sloane to apologize but I got Zoey a lock after I found she was moving valuable belongings out the house because of this incidence!!!
\\n\\nSammy and his daughters saw the lock and weren't happy, the girls were extremely upset.\\nSammy asked about it and I straight up told him. He said "my daughters aren't thieves!!! it's normal that girls of the same age borrow each others stuff" he said Zoey could easily get another makeup kit for 15 bucks from walmart and shouldn't even be buying expensive - adult makeup in the first place and suggested my wife take care of this "defect" in Zoey's personality trying to appear older than she is.\\nHe accused me of being overprotective and babying Zoey with this level of enablement.
\\n\\nI told him this's between me and my wife but she shamed me for putting a lock on Zoey's door for her cousins to see and preventing them from "spending time" with her saying I was supposed to treat them like daughters, then demanded I remove it but I said this lock does not get removed til her brother and his daughters are out of our house.
\\n\\nShe got mad I was implying we kick them out and said her family'll hate me for this. so I reminded her that I let Sammy and his family move in which's something her OWN family refused to do so she should start with shaming/blaming them for not taking their own son and nieces/granddaughters in. if it wasn't for her family's unwillingness to help we wouldn't be dealing with this much disturbance at home.
\\n\\nEveryone's been giving me and Zoey silent treatment and my wife is very much upset over this.
\\nMy brother in-law (Sammy) lost his home shortly after his divorce 10 months ago. He moved in with us and brought his twin daughters (Olivia & Sloane18) with him a couple of months ago.\\nHis sister (my wife) and I have one daughter (Zoey 16) and she and her cousins aren't close but get along fine.
\\n\\nOlivia & Sloane have no respect for Zoey's privacy, none. they used to walk into her room and take everything they get their hands on. Makeup, phone accessories, clothes, school laptop etc. Zoey complained a lot and I've already asked the girls to respect Zoey's privacy and stop taking things. My wife and Sammy saw no issue with this. After all, they're girls and this's typical teenage girls behavior. I completely disagreed.
\\n\\nLast straw was when Zoey bought a 60$ m.a.c makeup-kit that looks like a paintset that she saved up for over a month and one of the girls, Sloane took it without permission and ruined it by mixing shades together while using it. Don't know much about makeup but that's what Zoey said when she found the kit on her bed, and was crying.\\nI told my wife and she said she'd ask Sloane to apologize but I got Zoey a lock after I found she was moving valuable belongings out the house because of this incidence!!!
\\n\\nSammy and his daughters saw the lock and weren't happy, the girls were extremely upset.\\nSammy asked about it and I straight up told him. He said "my daughters aren't thieves!!! it's normal that girls of the same age borrow each others stuff" he said Zoey could easily get another makeup kit for 15 bucks from walmart and shouldn't even be buying expensive - adult makeup in the first place and suggested my wife take care of this "defect" in Zoey's personality trying to appear older than she is.\\nHe accused me of being overprotective and babying Zoey with this level of enablement.
\\n\\nI told him this's between me and my wife but she shamed me for putting a lock on Zoey's door for her cousins to see and preventing them from "spending time" with her saying I was supposed to treat them like daughters, then demanded I remove it but I said this lock does not get removed til her brother and his daughters are out of our house.
\\n\\nShe got mad I was implying we kick them out and said her family'll hate me for this. so I reminded her that I let Sammy and his family move in which's something her OWN family refused to do so she should start with shaming/blaming them for not taking their own son and nieces/granddaughters in. if it wasn't for her family's unwillingness to help we wouldn't be dealing with this much disturbance at home.
\\n\\nEveryone's been giving me and Zoey silent treatment and my wife is very much upset over this.
\\nMy brother in-law (Sammy) lost his home shortly after his divorce 10 months ago. He moved in with us and brought his twin daughters (Olivia & Sloane18) with him a couple of months ago.\\nHis sister (my wife) and I have one daughter (Zoey 16) and she and her cousins aren't close but get along fine.
\\n\\nOlivia & Sloane have no respect for Zoey's privacy, none. they used to walk into her room and take everything they get their hands on. Makeup, phone accessories, clothes, school laptop etc. Zoey complained a lot and I've already asked the girls to respect Zoey's privacy and stop taking things. My wife and Sammy saw no issue with this. After all, they're girls and this's typical teenage girls behavior. I completely disagreed.
\\n\\nLast straw was when Zoey bought a 60$ m.a.c makeup-kit that looks like a paintset that she saved up for over a month and one of the girls, Sloane took it without permission and ruined it by mixing shades together while using it. Don't know much about makeup but that's what Zoey said when she found the kit on her bed, and was crying.\\nI told my wife and she said she'd ask Sloane to apologize but I got Zoey a lock after I found she was moving valuable belongings out the house because of this incidence!!!
\\n\\nSammy and his daughters saw the lock and weren't happy, the girls were extremely upset.\\nSammy asked about it and I straight up told him. He said "my daughters aren't thieves!!! it's normal that girls of the same age borrow each others stuff" he said Zoey could easily get another makeup kit for 15 bucks from walmart and shouldn't even be buying expensive - adult makeup in the first place and suggested my wife take care of this "defect" in Zoey's personality trying to appear older than she is.\\nHe accused me of being overprotective and babying Zoey with this level of enablement.
\\n\\nI told him this's between me and my wife but she shamed me for putting a lock on Zoey's door for her cousins to see and preventing them from "spending time" with her saying I was supposed to treat them like daughters, then demanded I remove it but I said this lock does not get removed til her brother and his daughters are out of our house.
\\n\\nShe got mad I was implying we kick them out and said her family'll hate me for this. so I reminded her that I let Sammy and his family move in which's something her OWN family refused to do so she should start with shaming/blaming them for not taking their own son and nieces/granddaughters in. if it wasn't for her family's unwillingness to help we wouldn't be dealing with this much disturbance at home.
\\n\\nEveryone's been giving me and Zoey silent treatment and my wife is very much upset over this.
\\nNTA. Don't back down. You are the only one sticking up for Zoey. If her cousins want to use expensive makeup, give them your wife's. I guarantee she won't appreciate sharing anymore.
\\n\\nThey need to start behaving like appreciative guests.
\\nMy brother in-law (Sammy) lost his home shortly after his divorce 10 months ago. He moved in with us and brought his twin daughters (Olivia & Sloane18) with him a couple of months ago.\\nHis sister (my wife) and I have one daughter (Zoey 16) and she and her cousins aren't close but get along fine.
\\n\\nOlivia & Sloane have no respect for Zoey's privacy, none. they used to walk into her room and take everything they get their hands on. Makeup, phone accessories, clothes, school laptop etc. Zoey complained a lot and I've already asked the girls to respect Zoey's privacy and stop taking things. My wife and Sammy saw no issue with this. After all, they're girls and this's typical teenage girls behavior. I completely disagreed.
\\n\\nLast straw was when Zoey bought a 60$ m.a.c makeup-kit that looks like a paintset that she saved up for over a month and one of the girls, Sloane took it without permission and ruined it by mixing shades together while using it. Don't know much about makeup but that's what Zoey said when she found the kit on her bed, and was crying.\\nI told my wife and she said she'd ask Sloane to apologize but I got Zoey a lock after I found she was moving valuable belongings out the house because of this incidence!!!
\\n\\nSammy and his daughters saw the lock and weren't happy, the girls were extremely upset.\\nSammy asked about it and I straight up told him. He said "my daughters aren't thieves!!! it's normal that girls of the same age borrow each others stuff" he said Zoey could easily get another makeup kit for 15 bucks from walmart and shouldn't even be buying expensive - adult makeup in the first place and suggested my wife take care of this "defect" in Zoey's personality trying to appear older than she is.\\nHe accused me of being overprotective and babying Zoey with this level of enablement.
\\n\\nI told him this's between me and my wife but she shamed me for putting a lock on Zoey's door for her cousins to see and preventing them from "spending time" with her saying I was supposed to treat them like daughters, then demanded I remove it but I said this lock does not get removed til her brother and his daughters are out of our house.
\\n\\nShe got mad I was implying we kick them out and said her family'll hate me for this. so I reminded her that I let Sammy and his family move in which's something her OWN family refused to do so she should start with shaming/blaming them for not taking their own son and nieces/granddaughters in. if it wasn't for her family's unwillingness to help we wouldn't be dealing with this much disturbance at home.
\\n\\nEveryone's been giving me and Zoey silent treatment and my wife is very much upset over this.
\\nNTA. Don't back down. You are the only one sticking up for Zoey. If her cousins want to use expensive makeup, give them your wife's. I guarantee she won't appreciate sharing anymore.
\\n\\nThey need to start behaving like appreciative guests.
\\nYou know I probably shouldn't be saying this but my wife has been acting like a hypocrite latey. Especially regarding privacy issues. She considers privacy something very important but still thought that Zoey did not have the right to get a lock - Even if we leave her cousins out of this matter. My wife is not agreeing with the whole concept of getting a lock for Zoey. I explained to her what's been happenning, Even told her that Zoey has been moving some of her valuable belongings into a friend's house to keep them safe, do I blame her? Absolutely not. But my wife still thought Zoey was wrong to do that.\\nNow her cousine are upset and they and Sammy are using the silent treatment (among other things like eating without us or not sitting with us) as a guilt tactic. Even though it's not affecting me, it's making Zoey feel like she did something wrong by having a lock for her room.
\\nMy brother in-law (Sammy) lost his home shortly after his divorce 10 months ago. He moved in with us and brought his twin daughters (Olivia & Sloane18) with him a couple of months ago.\\nHis sister (my wife) and I have one daughter (Zoey 16) and she and her cousins aren't close but get along fine.
\\n\\nOlivia & Sloane have no respect for Zoey's privacy, none. they used to walk into her room and take everything they get their hands on. Makeup, phone accessories, clothes, school laptop etc. Zoey complained a lot and I've already asked the girls to respect Zoey's privacy and stop taking things. My wife and Sammy saw no issue with this. After all, they're girls and this's typical teenage girls behavior. I completely disagreed.
\\n\\nLast straw was when Zoey bought a 60$ m.a.c makeup-kit that looks like a paintset that she saved up for over a month and one of the girls, Sloane took it without permission and ruined it by mixing shades together while using it. Don't know much about makeup but that's what Zoey said when she found the kit on her bed, and was crying.\\nI told my wife and she said she'd ask Sloane to apologize but I got Zoey a lock after I found she was moving valuable belongings out the house because of this incidence!!!
\\n\\nSammy and his daughters saw the lock and weren't happy, the girls were extremely upset.\\nSammy asked about it and I straight up told him. He said "my daughters aren't thieves!!! it's normal that girls of the same age borrow each others stuff" he said Zoey could easily get another makeup kit for 15 bucks from walmart and shouldn't even be buying expensive - adult makeup in the first place and suggested my wife take care of this "defect" in Zoey's personality trying to appear older than she is.\\nHe accused me of being overprotective and babying Zoey with this level of enablement.
\\n\\nI told him this's between me and my wife but she shamed me for putting a lock on Zoey's door for her cousins to see and preventing them from "spending time" with her saying I was supposed to treat them like daughters, then demanded I remove it but I said this lock does not get removed til her brother and his daughters are out of our house.
\\n\\nShe got mad I was implying we kick them out and said her family'll hate me for this. so I reminded her that I let Sammy and his family move in which's something her OWN family refused to do so she should start with shaming/blaming them for not taking their own son and nieces/granddaughters in. if it wasn't for her family's unwillingness to help we wouldn't be dealing with this much disturbance at home.
\\n\\nEveryone's been giving me and Zoey silent treatment and my wife is very much upset over this.
\\nNTA. Don't back down. You are the only one sticking up for Zoey. If her cousins want to use expensive makeup, give them your wife's. I guarantee she won't appreciate sharing anymore.
\\n\\nThey need to start behaving like appreciative guests.
\\nYou know I probably shouldn't be saying this but my wife has been acting like a hypocrite latey. Especially regarding privacy issues. She considers privacy something very important but still thought that Zoey did not have the right to get a lock - Even if we leave her cousins out of this matter. My wife is not agreeing with the whole concept of getting a lock for Zoey. I explained to her what's been happenning, Even told her that Zoey has been moving some of her valuable belongings into a friend's house to keep them safe, do I blame her? Absolutely not. But my wife still thought Zoey was wrong to do that.\\nNow her cousine are upset and they and Sammy are using the silent treatment (among other things like eating without us or not sitting with us) as a guilt tactic. Even though it's not affecting me, it's making Zoey feel like she did something wrong by having a lock for her room.
\\nWTF dang these people are entitled AF.
\\n\\nI'd kick them all out for creating a hostile and uncomfortable situation IN MY OWN HOME.
\\nMy brother in-law (Sammy) lost his home shortly after his divorce 10 months ago. He moved in with us and brought his twin daughters (Olivia & Sloane18) with him a couple of months ago.\\nHis sister (my wife) and I have one daughter (Zoey 16) and she and her cousins aren't close but get along fine.
\\n\\nOlivia & Sloane have no respect for Zoey's privacy, none. they used to walk into her room and take everything they get their hands on. Makeup, phone accessories, clothes, school laptop etc. Zoey complained a lot and I've already asked the girls to respect Zoey's privacy and stop taking things. My wife and Sammy saw no issue with this. After all, they're girls and this's typical teenage girls behavior. I completely disagreed.
\\n\\nLast straw was when Zoey bought a 60$ m.a.c makeup-kit that looks like a paintset that she saved up for over a month and one of the girls, Sloane took it without permission and ruined it by mixing shades together while using it. Don't know much about makeup but that's what Zoey said when she found the kit on her bed, and was crying.\\nI told my wife and she said she'd ask Sloane to apologize but I got Zoey a lock after I found she was moving valuable belongings out the house because of this incidence!!!
\\n\\nSammy and his daughters saw the lock and weren't happy, the girls were extremely upset.\\nSammy asked about it and I straight up told him. He said "my daughters aren't thieves!!! it's normal that girls of the same age borrow each others stuff" he said Zoey could easily get another makeup kit for 15 bucks from walmart and shouldn't even be buying expensive - adult makeup in the first place and suggested my wife take care of this "defect" in Zoey's personality trying to appear older than she is.\\nHe accused me of being overprotective and babying Zoey with this level of enablement.
\\n\\nI told him this's between me and my wife but she shamed me for putting a lock on Zoey's door for her cousins to see and preventing them from "spending time" with her saying I was supposed to treat them like daughters, then demanded I remove it but I said this lock does not get removed til her brother and his daughters are out of our house.
\\n\\nShe got mad I was implying we kick them out and said her family'll hate me for this. so I reminded her that I let Sammy and his family move in which's something her OWN family refused to do so she should start with shaming/blaming them for not taking their own son and nieces/granddaughters in. if it wasn't for her family's unwillingness to help we wouldn't be dealing with this much disturbance at home.
\\n\\nEveryone's been giving me and Zoey silent treatment and my wife is very much upset over this.
\\nNTA. Don't back down. You are the only one sticking up for Zoey. If her cousins want to use expensive makeup, give them your wife's. I guarantee she won't appreciate sharing anymore.
\\n\\nThey need to start behaving like appreciative guests.
\\nYou know I probably shouldn't be saying this but my wife has been acting like a hypocrite latey. Especially regarding privacy issues. She considers privacy something very important but still thought that Zoey did not have the right to get a lock - Even if we leave her cousins out of this matter. My wife is not agreeing with the whole concept of getting a lock for Zoey. I explained to her what's been happenning, Even told her that Zoey has been moving some of her valuable belongings into a friend's house to keep them safe, do I blame her? Absolutely not. But my wife still thought Zoey was wrong to do that.\\nNow her cousine are upset and they and Sammy are using the silent treatment (among other things like eating without us or not sitting with us) as a guilt tactic. Even though it's not affecting me, it's making Zoey feel like she did something wrong by having a lock for her room.
\\nWTF dang these people are entitled AF.
\\n\\nI'd kick them all out for creating a hostile and uncomfortable situation IN MY OWN HOME.
\\nExactly. These people need to go now, They are mentally abusing and bullying a teenage girl- as well as OP. Gaslighting , disrespect and straight out hostile behaviour- in OPs own home. OP you are NTA -Boot them to the next relatives and if your wife has a problem with that- she can drive them there. Please do not back down on this and yes, let them know that your wifey has no problem with sharing make up. These people are disgraceful and entitled.
\\nMy brother in-law (Sammy) lost his home shortly after his divorce 10 months ago. He moved in with us and brought his twin daughters (Olivia & Sloane18) with him a couple of months ago.\\nHis sister (my wife) and I have one daughter (Zoey 16) and she and her cousins aren't close but get along fine.
\\n\\nOlivia & Sloane have no respect for Zoey's privacy, none. they used to walk into her room and take everything they get their hands on. Makeup, phone accessories, clothes, school laptop etc. Zoey complained a lot and I've already asked the girls to respect Zoey's privacy and stop taking things. My wife and Sammy saw no issue with this. After all, they're girls and this's typical teenage girls behavior. I completely disagreed.
\\n\\nLast straw was when Zoey bought a 60$ m.a.c makeup-kit that looks like a paintset that she saved up for over a month and one of the girls, Sloane took it without permission and ruined it by mixing shades together while using it. Don't know much about makeup but that's what Zoey said when she found the kit on her bed, and was crying.\\nI told my wife and she said she'd ask Sloane to apologize but I got Zoey a lock after I found she was moving valuable belongings out the house because of this incidence!!!
\\n\\nSammy and his daughters saw the lock and weren't happy, the girls were extremely upset.\\nSammy asked about it and I straight up told him. He said "my daughters aren't thieves!!! it's normal that girls of the same age borrow each others stuff" he said Zoey could easily get another makeup kit for 15 bucks from walmart and shouldn't even be buying expensive - adult makeup in the first place and suggested my wife take care of this "defect" in Zoey's personality trying to appear older than she is.\\nHe accused me of being overprotective and babying Zoey with this level of enablement.
\\n\\nI told him this's between me and my wife but she shamed me for putting a lock on Zoey's door for her cousins to see and preventing them from "spending time" with her saying I was supposed to treat them like daughters, then demanded I remove it but I said this lock does not get removed til her brother and his daughters are out of our house.
\\n\\nShe got mad I was implying we kick them out and said her family'll hate me for this. so I reminded her that I let Sammy and his family move in which's something her OWN family refused to do so she should start with shaming/blaming them for not taking their own son and nieces/granddaughters in. if it wasn't for her family's unwillingness to help we wouldn't be dealing with this much disturbance at home.
\\n\\nEveryone's been giving me and Zoey silent treatment and my wife is very much upset over this.
\\nNTA. Don't back down. You are the only one sticking up for Zoey. If her cousins want to use expensive makeup, give them your wife's. I guarantee she won't appreciate sharing anymore.
\\n\\nThey need to start behaving like appreciative guests.
\\nYou know I probably shouldn't be saying this but my wife has been acting like a hypocrite latey. Especially regarding privacy issues. She considers privacy something very important but still thought that Zoey did not have the right to get a lock - Even if we leave her cousins out of this matter. My wife is not agreeing with the whole concept of getting a lock for Zoey. I explained to her what's been happenning, Even told her that Zoey has been moving some of her valuable belongings into a friend's house to keep them safe, do I blame her? Absolutely not. But my wife still thought Zoey was wrong to do that.\\nNow her cousine are upset and they and Sammy are using the silent treatment (among other things like eating without us or not sitting with us) as a guilt tactic. Even though it's not affecting me, it's making Zoey feel like she did something wrong by having a lock for her room.
\\nWTF dang these people are entitled AF.
\\n\\nI'd kick them all out for creating a hostile and uncomfortable situation IN MY OWN HOME.
\\nExactly. These people need to go now, They are mentally abusing and bullying a teenage girl- as well as OP. Gaslighting , disrespect and straight out hostile behaviour- in OPs own home. OP you are NTA -Boot them to the next relatives and if your wife has a problem with that- she can drive them there. Please do not back down on this and yes, let them know that your wifey has no problem with sharing make up. These people are disgraceful and entitled.
\\nMy brother in-law (Sammy) lost his home shortly after his divorce 10 months ago. He moved in with us and brought his twin daughters (Olivia & Sloane18) with him a couple of months ago.\\nHis sister (my wife) and I have one daughter (Zoey 16) and she and her cousins aren't close but get along fine.
\\n\\nOlivia & Sloane have no respect for Zoey's privacy, none. they used to walk into her room and take everything they get their hands on. Makeup, phone accessories, clothes, school laptop etc. Zoey complained a lot and I've already asked the girls to respect Zoey's privacy and stop taking things. My wife and Sammy saw no issue with this. After all, they're girls and this's typical teenage girls behavior. I completely disagreed.
\\n\\nLast straw was when Zoey bought a 60$ m.a.c makeup-kit that looks like a paintset that she saved up for over a month and one of the girls, Sloane took it without permission and ruined it by mixing shades together while using it. Don't know much about makeup but that's what Zoey said when she found the kit on her bed, and was crying.\\nI told my wife and she said she'd ask Sloane to apologize but I got Zoey a lock after I found she was moving valuable belongings out the house because of this incidence!!!
\\n\\nSammy and his daughters saw the lock and weren't happy, the girls were extremely upset.\\nSammy asked about it and I straight up told him. He said "my daughters aren't thieves!!! it's normal that girls of the same age borrow each others stuff" he said Zoey could easily get another makeup kit for 15 bucks from walmart and shouldn't even be buying expensive - adult makeup in the first place and suggested my wife take care of this "defect" in Zoey's personality trying to appear older than she is.\\nHe accused me of being overprotective and babying Zoey with this level of enablement.
\\n\\nI told him this's between me and my wife but she shamed me for putting a lock on Zoey's door for her cousins to see and preventing them from "spending time" with her saying I was supposed to treat them like daughters, then demanded I remove it but I said this lock does not get removed til her brother and his daughters are out of our house.
\\n\\nShe got mad I was implying we kick them out and said her family'll hate me for this. so I reminded her that I let Sammy and his family move in which's something her OWN family refused to do so she should start with shaming/blaming them for not taking their own son and nieces/granddaughters in. if it wasn't for her family's unwillingness to help we wouldn't be dealing with this much disturbance at home.
\\n\\nEveryone's been giving me and Zoey silent treatment and my wife is very much upset over this.
\\nNTA. Don't back down. You are the only one sticking up for Zoey. If her cousins want to use expensive makeup, give them your wife's. I guarantee she won't appreciate sharing anymore.
\\n\\nThey need to start behaving like appreciative guests.
\\nYou know I probably shouldn't be saying this but my wife has been acting like a hypocrite latey. Especially regarding privacy issues. She considers privacy something very important but still thought that Zoey did not have the right to get a lock - Even if we leave her cousins out of this matter. My wife is not agreeing with the whole concept of getting a lock for Zoey. I explained to her what's been happenning, Even told her that Zoey has been moving some of her valuable belongings into a friend's house to keep them safe, do I blame her? Absolutely not. But my wife still thought Zoey was wrong to do that.\\nNow her cousine are upset and they and Sammy are using the silent treatment (among other things like eating without us or not sitting with us) as a guilt tactic. Even though it's not affecting me, it's making Zoey feel like she did something wrong by having a lock for her room.
\\nWTF dang these people are entitled AF.
\\n\\nI'd kick them all out for creating a hostile and uncomfortable situation IN MY OWN HOME.
\\nExactly. These people need to go now, They are mentally abusing and bullying a teenage girl- as well as OP. Gaslighting , disrespect and straight out hostile behaviour- in OPs own home. OP you are NTA -Boot them to the next relatives and if your wife has a problem with that- she can drive them there. Please do not back down on this and yes, let them know that your wifey has no problem with sharing make up. These people are disgraceful and entitled.
\\n\\n\\n\\nGaslighting , disrespect and straight out hostile behaviour- in OPs own home. OP you are NTA -Boot them to the next relatives and if your wife has a problem with that- she can drive them there
\\n
This is it. They are extremely disrespectful and hugely entitled to think they can waltz into OP's house and do whatever the hell they want?! Instead of being grateful for a shelter over their heads. Bil and daughters are all adults - they can all be kicked out for pulling this shit.
\\n\\nAnd the wife?? Yikes. I have no advice there, she sounds like she'll eventually end up in r/justnomil.
\\nMy brother in-law (Sammy) lost his home shortly after his divorce 10 months ago. He moved in with us and brought his twin daughters (Olivia & Sloane18) with him a couple of months ago.\\nHis sister (my wife) and I have one daughter (Zoey 16) and she and her cousins aren't close but get along fine.
\\n\\nOlivia & Sloane have no respect for Zoey's privacy, none. they used to walk into her room and take everything they get their hands on. Makeup, phone accessories, clothes, school laptop etc. Zoey complained a lot and I've already asked the girls to respect Zoey's privacy and stop taking things. My wife and Sammy saw no issue with this. After all, they're girls and this's typical teenage girls behavior. I completely disagreed.
\\n\\nLast straw was when Zoey bought a 60$ m.a.c makeup-kit that looks like a paintset that she saved up for over a month and one of the girls, Sloane took it without permission and ruined it by mixing shades together while using it. Don't know much about makeup but that's what Zoey said when she found the kit on her bed, and was crying.\\nI told my wife and she said she'd ask Sloane to apologize but I got Zoey a lock after I found she was moving valuable belongings out the house because of this incidence!!!
\\n\\nSammy and his daughters saw the lock and weren't happy, the girls were extremely upset.\\nSammy asked about it and I straight up told him. He said "my daughters aren't thieves!!! it's normal that girls of the same age borrow each others stuff" he said Zoey could easily get another makeup kit for 15 bucks from walmart and shouldn't even be buying expensive - adult makeup in the first place and suggested my wife take care of this "defect" in Zoey's personality trying to appear older than she is.\\nHe accused me of being overprotective and babying Zoey with this level of enablement.
\\n\\nI told him this's between me and my wife but she shamed me for putting a lock on Zoey's door for her cousins to see and preventing them from "spending time" with her saying I was supposed to treat them like daughters, then demanded I remove it but I said this lock does not get removed til her brother and his daughters are out of our house.
\\n\\nShe got mad I was implying we kick them out and said her family'll hate me for this. so I reminded her that I let Sammy and his family move in which's something her OWN family refused to do so she should start with shaming/blaming them for not taking their own son and nieces/granddaughters in. if it wasn't for her family's unwillingness to help we wouldn't be dealing with this much disturbance at home.
\\n\\nEveryone's been giving me and Zoey silent treatment and my wife is very much upset over this.
\\nNTA. Don't back down. You are the only one sticking up for Zoey. If her cousins want to use expensive makeup, give them your wife's. I guarantee she won't appreciate sharing anymore.
\\n\\nThey need to start behaving like appreciative guests.
\\nYou know I probably shouldn't be saying this but my wife has been acting like a hypocrite latey. Especially regarding privacy issues. She considers privacy something very important but still thought that Zoey did not have the right to get a lock - Even if we leave her cousins out of this matter. My wife is not agreeing with the whole concept of getting a lock for Zoey. I explained to her what's been happenning, Even told her that Zoey has been moving some of her valuable belongings into a friend's house to keep them safe, do I blame her? Absolutely not. But my wife still thought Zoey was wrong to do that.\\nNow her cousine are upset and they and Sammy are using the silent treatment (among other things like eating without us or not sitting with us) as a guilt tactic. Even though it's not affecting me, it's making Zoey feel like she did something wrong by having a lock for her room.
\\nWTF dang these people are entitled AF.
\\n\\nI'd kick them all out for creating a hostile and uncomfortable situation IN MY OWN HOME.
\\nExactly. These people need to go now, They are mentally abusing and bullying a teenage girl- as well as OP. Gaslighting , disrespect and straight out hostile behaviour- in OPs own home. OP you are NTA -Boot them to the next relatives and if your wife has a problem with that- she can drive them there. Please do not back down on this and yes, let them know that your wifey has no problem with sharing make up. These people are disgraceful and entitled.
\\nMy brother in-law (Sammy) lost his home shortly after his divorce 10 months ago. He moved in with us and brought his twin daughters (Olivia & Sloane18) with him a couple of months ago.\\nHis sister (my wife) and I have one daughter (Zoey 16) and she and her cousins aren't close but get along fine.
\\n\\nOlivia & Sloane have no respect for Zoey's privacy, none. they used to walk into her room and take everything they get their hands on. Makeup, phone accessories, clothes, school laptop etc. Zoey complained a lot and I've already asked the girls to respect Zoey's privacy and stop taking things. My wife and Sammy saw no issue with this. After all, they're girls and this's typical teenage girls behavior. I completely disagreed.
\\n\\nLast straw was when Zoey bought a 60$ m.a.c makeup-kit that looks like a paintset that she saved up for over a month and one of the girls, Sloane took it without permission and ruined it by mixing shades together while using it. Don't know much about makeup but that's what Zoey said when she found the kit on her bed, and was crying.\\nI told my wife and she said she'd ask Sloane to apologize but I got Zoey a lock after I found she was moving valuable belongings out the house because of this incidence!!!
\\n\\nSammy and his daughters saw the lock and weren't happy, the girls were extremely upset.\\nSammy asked about it and I straight up told him. He said "my daughters aren't thieves!!! it's normal that girls of the same age borrow each others stuff" he said Zoey could easily get another makeup kit for 15 bucks from walmart and shouldn't even be buying expensive - adult makeup in the first place and suggested my wife take care of this "defect" in Zoey's personality trying to appear older than she is.\\nHe accused me of being overprotective and babying Zoey with this level of enablement.
\\n\\nI told him this's between me and my wife but she shamed me for putting a lock on Zoey's door for her cousins to see and preventing them from "spending time" with her saying I was supposed to treat them like daughters, then demanded I remove it but I said this lock does not get removed til her brother and his daughters are out of our house.
\\n\\nShe got mad I was implying we kick them out and said her family'll hate me for this. so I reminded her that I let Sammy and his family move in which's something her OWN family refused to do so she should start with shaming/blaming them for not taking their own son and nieces/granddaughters in. if it wasn't for her family's unwillingness to help we wouldn't be dealing with this much disturbance at home.
\\n\\nEveryone's been giving me and Zoey silent treatment and my wife is very much upset over this.
\\nNTA. Don't back down. You are the only one sticking up for Zoey. If her cousins want to use expensive makeup, give them your wife's. I guarantee she won't appreciate sharing anymore.
\\n\\nThey need to start behaving like appreciative guests.
\\nYou know I probably shouldn't be saying this but my wife has been acting like a hypocrite latey. Especially regarding privacy issues. She considers privacy something very important but still thought that Zoey did not have the right to get a lock - Even if we leave her cousins out of this matter. My wife is not agreeing with the whole concept of getting a lock for Zoey. I explained to her what's been happenning, Even told her that Zoey has been moving some of her valuable belongings into a friend's house to keep them safe, do I blame her? Absolutely not. But my wife still thought Zoey was wrong to do that.\\nNow her cousine are upset and they and Sammy are using the silent treatment (among other things like eating without us or not sitting with us) as a guilt tactic. Even though it's not affecting me, it's making Zoey feel like she did something wrong by having a lock for her room.
\\nWTF dang these people are entitled AF.
\\n\\nI'd kick them all out for creating a hostile and uncomfortable situation IN MY OWN HOME.
\\nExactly. These people need to go now, They are mentally abusing and bullying a teenage girl- as well as OP. Gaslighting , disrespect and straight out hostile behaviour- in OPs own home. OP you are NTA -Boot them to the next relatives and if your wife has a problem with that- she can drive them there. Please do not back down on this and yes, let them know that your wifey has no problem with sharing make up. These people are disgraceful and entitled.
\\nAbsolutely agree with this. These people are guests in your house and apparently unable to behave with basic courtesy. Get’em out. NTA
\\nI’ve enjoyed reading and posting on this sub for many months now, and I feel like I’ve noticed a disconcerting trend, lately. Over time, more and more of the posts seem to have A- a universal consensus on every post, with any dissenters massively downvoted and B- a shift towards judgments that seem (to me at least) to be out of step with how people in the real world judge situations.
\\n\\nGiven that, I think it’s important to remember that even though the sub is not intended to be for validation posts or to be an echo chamber or to give advice on how people should behave in specific situations- in practice, a lot of times it is.
\\n\\nSo just as a reminder- offline, people in your real life will think you’re an asshole if you take the last cookie when you know the child behind you wants it.
\\n\\nThey’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t stand up for an elderly person on a bus. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t go out for drinks with your co-workers once in a while. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t try to be involved in your child’s life, no matter how much support you pay. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t help out your brother with babysitting once in a while, even if you’re childfree. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you wear nothing but underwear in your own home when your roommate has guests over. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t detour for 10 minutes a day to carpool with a co-worker for a week while his car is in the shop.
\\n\\nThe internet has its own values, and that’s fine. But in the real world, people who can’t just go along to get along most of the time? People who don’t want to mildly inconvenience themselves to help out the people around them? People who don’t seem to put any stock into the idea of collectivism? The people around them are going to consider them to be assholes.
\\n\\nSo yeah. I love this sub, I love reading the stories and I find it very interesting to hear people’s opinions. But I personally think that probably more than 50% of the time, the people I know in real life would disagree with the sub’s judgement of who’s the asshole in a given situation. I don’t know if the disparity is just because of reddit’s demographics, or because people with alternate perspectives see the writing on the board and don’t want to get down voted to oblivion.
\\n\\nSo even if you get 4000 replies on reddit saying that you’re totally in the right, if everyone in your real life thinks you’re an asshole, well… there’s probably a reason for that. And maybe this is just me, but I really wish we could have more discussion about if someone is being an asshole if they’re being inconsiderate or selfish, even if they don’t technically “owe” anyone anything.
\\n\\nOr maybe you believe that people offline are wrong, and we should continue to promote the individualistic value system seen on reddit both on and offline. That's a discussion worth having too.
\\n\\nEdit: Thanks guys, this is very interesting discussion so far. And lol don't just downvote the people who disagree with me/you, engage them without being combative.
\\n\\nEdit 2: I’ve never seen this movie, but it’s come to my attention that there already exists in this world an excellent TL,DR: “You’re not wrong Walter, you’re just an asshole”
\\nI’ve enjoyed reading and posting on this sub for many months now, and I feel like I’ve noticed a disconcerting trend, lately. Over time, more and more of the posts seem to have A- a universal consensus on every post, with any dissenters massively downvoted and B- a shift towards judgments that seem (to me at least) to be out of step with how people in the real world judge situations.
\\n\\nGiven that, I think it’s important to remember that even though the sub is not intended to be for validation posts or to be an echo chamber or to give advice on how people should behave in specific situations- in practice, a lot of times it is.
\\n\\nSo just as a reminder- offline, people in your real life will think you’re an asshole if you take the last cookie when you know the child behind you wants it.
\\n\\nThey’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t stand up for an elderly person on a bus. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t go out for drinks with your co-workers once in a while. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t try to be involved in your child’s life, no matter how much support you pay. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t help out your brother with babysitting once in a while, even if you’re childfree. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you wear nothing but underwear in your own home when your roommate has guests over. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t detour for 10 minutes a day to carpool with a co-worker for a week while his car is in the shop.
\\n\\nThe internet has its own values, and that’s fine. But in the real world, people who can’t just go along to get along most of the time? People who don’t want to mildly inconvenience themselves to help out the people around them? People who don’t seem to put any stock into the idea of collectivism? The people around them are going to consider them to be assholes.
\\n\\nSo yeah. I love this sub, I love reading the stories and I find it very interesting to hear people’s opinions. But I personally think that probably more than 50% of the time, the people I know in real life would disagree with the sub’s judgement of who’s the asshole in a given situation. I don’t know if the disparity is just because of reddit’s demographics, or because people with alternate perspectives see the writing on the board and don’t want to get down voted to oblivion.
\\n\\nSo even if you get 4000 replies on reddit saying that you’re totally in the right, if everyone in your real life thinks you’re an asshole, well… there’s probably a reason for that. And maybe this is just me, but I really wish we could have more discussion about if someone is being an asshole if they’re being inconsiderate or selfish, even if they don’t technically “owe” anyone anything.
\\n\\nOr maybe you believe that people offline are wrong, and we should continue to promote the individualistic value system seen on reddit both on and offline. That's a discussion worth having too.
\\n\\nEdit: Thanks guys, this is very interesting discussion so far. And lol don't just downvote the people who disagree with me/you, engage them without being combative.
\\n\\nEdit 2: I’ve never seen this movie, but it’s come to my attention that there already exists in this world an excellent TL,DR: “You’re not wrong Walter, you’re just an asshole”
\\nWhile I find this notion accurate to a degree, I've lately noticed far more OBVIOUS not-the-asshole posts. The picture painted is completely one-sided, obtuse, and it's transparent that the person posting is desperately trying to be validated or "right" as opposed to actually wondering if what he/she did is immoral or unethical, or just overall unbecoming.
\\n\\nI suppose this could be part of what OP is talking about, though.
\\nI’ve enjoyed reading and posting on this sub for many months now, and I feel like I’ve noticed a disconcerting trend, lately. Over time, more and more of the posts seem to have A- a universal consensus on every post, with any dissenters massively downvoted and B- a shift towards judgments that seem (to me at least) to be out of step with how people in the real world judge situations.
\\n\\nGiven that, I think it’s important to remember that even though the sub is not intended to be for validation posts or to be an echo chamber or to give advice on how people should behave in specific situations- in practice, a lot of times it is.
\\n\\nSo just as a reminder- offline, people in your real life will think you’re an asshole if you take the last cookie when you know the child behind you wants it.
\\n\\nThey’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t stand up for an elderly person on a bus. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t go out for drinks with your co-workers once in a while. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t try to be involved in your child’s life, no matter how much support you pay. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t help out your brother with babysitting once in a while, even if you’re childfree. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you wear nothing but underwear in your own home when your roommate has guests over. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t detour for 10 minutes a day to carpool with a co-worker for a week while his car is in the shop.
\\n\\nThe internet has its own values, and that’s fine. But in the real world, people who can’t just go along to get along most of the time? People who don’t want to mildly inconvenience themselves to help out the people around them? People who don’t seem to put any stock into the idea of collectivism? The people around them are going to consider them to be assholes.
\\n\\nSo yeah. I love this sub, I love reading the stories and I find it very interesting to hear people’s opinions. But I personally think that probably more than 50% of the time, the people I know in real life would disagree with the sub’s judgement of who’s the asshole in a given situation. I don’t know if the disparity is just because of reddit’s demographics, or because people with alternate perspectives see the writing on the board and don’t want to get down voted to oblivion.
\\n\\nSo even if you get 4000 replies on reddit saying that you’re totally in the right, if everyone in your real life thinks you’re an asshole, well… there’s probably a reason for that. And maybe this is just me, but I really wish we could have more discussion about if someone is being an asshole if they’re being inconsiderate or selfish, even if they don’t technically “owe” anyone anything.
\\n\\nOr maybe you believe that people offline are wrong, and we should continue to promote the individualistic value system seen on reddit both on and offline. That's a discussion worth having too.
\\n\\nEdit: Thanks guys, this is very interesting discussion so far. And lol don't just downvote the people who disagree with me/you, engage them without being combative.
\\n\\nEdit 2: I’ve never seen this movie, but it’s come to my attention that there already exists in this world an excellent TL,DR: “You’re not wrong Walter, you’re just an asshole”
\\nWhile I find this notion accurate to a degree, I've lately noticed far more OBVIOUS not-the-asshole posts. The picture painted is completely one-sided, obtuse, and it's transparent that the person posting is desperately trying to be validated or "right" as opposed to actually wondering if what he/she did is immoral or unethical, or just overall unbecoming.
\\n\\nI suppose this could be part of what OP is talking about, though.
\\nYeah I see so many “my roommate moved their entire family into our apartment and started running a drug den out of our garage. AITA for telling them I’m not okay with it?” type posts and it boggles my mind how the OP couldn’t figure it out themselves. Or it’s just karma farming.
\\nI’ve enjoyed reading and posting on this sub for many months now, and I feel like I’ve noticed a disconcerting trend, lately. Over time, more and more of the posts seem to have A- a universal consensus on every post, with any dissenters massively downvoted and B- a shift towards judgments that seem (to me at least) to be out of step with how people in the real world judge situations.
\\n\\nGiven that, I think it’s important to remember that even though the sub is not intended to be for validation posts or to be an echo chamber or to give advice on how people should behave in specific situations- in practice, a lot of times it is.
\\n\\nSo just as a reminder- offline, people in your real life will think you’re an asshole if you take the last cookie when you know the child behind you wants it.
\\n\\nThey’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t stand up for an elderly person on a bus. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t go out for drinks with your co-workers once in a while. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t try to be involved in your child’s life, no matter how much support you pay. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t help out your brother with babysitting once in a while, even if you’re childfree. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you wear nothing but underwear in your own home when your roommate has guests over. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t detour for 10 minutes a day to carpool with a co-worker for a week while his car is in the shop.
\\n\\nThe internet has its own values, and that’s fine. But in the real world, people who can’t just go along to get along most of the time? People who don’t want to mildly inconvenience themselves to help out the people around them? People who don’t seem to put any stock into the idea of collectivism? The people around them are going to consider them to be assholes.
\\n\\nSo yeah. I love this sub, I love reading the stories and I find it very interesting to hear people’s opinions. But I personally think that probably more than 50% of the time, the people I know in real life would disagree with the sub’s judgement of who’s the asshole in a given situation. I don’t know if the disparity is just because of reddit’s demographics, or because people with alternate perspectives see the writing on the board and don’t want to get down voted to oblivion.
\\n\\nSo even if you get 4000 replies on reddit saying that you’re totally in the right, if everyone in your real life thinks you’re an asshole, well… there’s probably a reason for that. And maybe this is just me, but I really wish we could have more discussion about if someone is being an asshole if they’re being inconsiderate or selfish, even if they don’t technically “owe” anyone anything.
\\n\\nOr maybe you believe that people offline are wrong, and we should continue to promote the individualistic value system seen on reddit both on and offline. That's a discussion worth having too.
\\n\\nEdit: Thanks guys, this is very interesting discussion so far. And lol don't just downvote the people who disagree with me/you, engage them without being combative.
\\n\\nEdit 2: I’ve never seen this movie, but it’s come to my attention that there already exists in this world an excellent TL,DR: “You’re not wrong Walter, you’re just an asshole”
\\nWhile I find this notion accurate to a degree, I've lately noticed far more OBVIOUS not-the-asshole posts. The picture painted is completely one-sided, obtuse, and it's transparent that the person posting is desperately trying to be validated or "right" as opposed to actually wondering if what he/she did is immoral or unethical, or just overall unbecoming.
\\n\\nI suppose this could be part of what OP is talking about, though.
\\nYeah I see so many “my roommate moved their entire family into our apartment and started running a drug den out of our garage. AITA for telling them I’m not okay with it?” type posts and it boggles my mind how the OP couldn’t figure it out themselves. Or it’s just karma farming.
\\nThere was also the one recently where OPs best friends fiancee didn't want them in the wedding because of something they said previously, but they conveniently left out what it actually was that they said.
\\n\\nI tend to just ignore and move on from the posts that are so obviously only giving their version of the story.
\\nI’ve enjoyed reading and posting on this sub for many months now, and I feel like I’ve noticed a disconcerting trend, lately. Over time, more and more of the posts seem to have A- a universal consensus on every post, with any dissenters massively downvoted and B- a shift towards judgments that seem (to me at least) to be out of step with how people in the real world judge situations.
\\n\\nGiven that, I think it’s important to remember that even though the sub is not intended to be for validation posts or to be an echo chamber or to give advice on how people should behave in specific situations- in practice, a lot of times it is.
\\n\\nSo just as a reminder- offline, people in your real life will think you’re an asshole if you take the last cookie when you know the child behind you wants it.
\\n\\nThey’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t stand up for an elderly person on a bus. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t go out for drinks with your co-workers once in a while. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t try to be involved in your child’s life, no matter how much support you pay. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t help out your brother with babysitting once in a while, even if you’re childfree. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you wear nothing but underwear in your own home when your roommate has guests over. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t detour for 10 minutes a day to carpool with a co-worker for a week while his car is in the shop.
\\n\\nThe internet has its own values, and that’s fine. But in the real world, people who can’t just go along to get along most of the time? People who don’t want to mildly inconvenience themselves to help out the people around them? People who don’t seem to put any stock into the idea of collectivism? The people around them are going to consider them to be assholes.
\\n\\nSo yeah. I love this sub, I love reading the stories and I find it very interesting to hear people’s opinions. But I personally think that probably more than 50% of the time, the people I know in real life would disagree with the sub’s judgement of who’s the asshole in a given situation. I don’t know if the disparity is just because of reddit’s demographics, or because people with alternate perspectives see the writing on the board and don’t want to get down voted to oblivion.
\\n\\nSo even if you get 4000 replies on reddit saying that you’re totally in the right, if everyone in your real life thinks you’re an asshole, well… there’s probably a reason for that. And maybe this is just me, but I really wish we could have more discussion about if someone is being an asshole if they’re being inconsiderate or selfish, even if they don’t technically “owe” anyone anything.
\\n\\nOr maybe you believe that people offline are wrong, and we should continue to promote the individualistic value system seen on reddit both on and offline. That's a discussion worth having too.
\\n\\nEdit: Thanks guys, this is very interesting discussion so far. And lol don't just downvote the people who disagree with me/you, engage them without being combative.
\\n\\nEdit 2: I’ve never seen this movie, but it’s come to my attention that there already exists in this world an excellent TL,DR: “You’re not wrong Walter, you’re just an asshole”
\\nWhile I find this notion accurate to a degree, I've lately noticed far more OBVIOUS not-the-asshole posts. The picture painted is completely one-sided, obtuse, and it's transparent that the person posting is desperately trying to be validated or "right" as opposed to actually wondering if what he/she did is immoral or unethical, or just overall unbecoming.
\\n\\nI suppose this could be part of what OP is talking about, though.
\\nYeah I see so many “my roommate moved their entire family into our apartment and started running a drug den out of our garage. AITA for telling them I’m not okay with it?” type posts and it boggles my mind how the OP couldn’t figure it out themselves. Or it’s just karma farming.
\\nThere was also the one recently where OPs best friends fiancee didn't want them in the wedding because of something they said previously, but they conveniently left out what it actually was that they said.
\\n\\nI tend to just ignore and move on from the posts that are so obviously only giving their version of the story.
\\nIt's funny when I was talking about a co worker with another one. She vented to her about all the injustices in her life but fail to mention all the things that make her look bad. Everyone is the hero in their own story I guess.
\\nI’ve enjoyed reading and posting on this sub for many months now, and I feel like I’ve noticed a disconcerting trend, lately. Over time, more and more of the posts seem to have A- a universal consensus on every post, with any dissenters massively downvoted and B- a shift towards judgments that seem (to me at least) to be out of step with how people in the real world judge situations.
\\n\\nGiven that, I think it’s important to remember that even though the sub is not intended to be for validation posts or to be an echo chamber or to give advice on how people should behave in specific situations- in practice, a lot of times it is.
\\n\\nSo just as a reminder- offline, people in your real life will think you’re an asshole if you take the last cookie when you know the child behind you wants it.
\\n\\nThey’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t stand up for an elderly person on a bus. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t go out for drinks with your co-workers once in a while. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t try to be involved in your child’s life, no matter how much support you pay. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t help out your brother with babysitting once in a while, even if you’re childfree. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you wear nothing but underwear in your own home when your roommate has guests over. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t detour for 10 minutes a day to carpool with a co-worker for a week while his car is in the shop.
\\n\\nThe internet has its own values, and that’s fine. But in the real world, people who can’t just go along to get along most of the time? People who don’t want to mildly inconvenience themselves to help out the people around them? People who don’t seem to put any stock into the idea of collectivism? The people around them are going to consider them to be assholes.
\\n\\nSo yeah. I love this sub, I love reading the stories and I find it very interesting to hear people’s opinions. But I personally think that probably more than 50% of the time, the people I know in real life would disagree with the sub’s judgement of who’s the asshole in a given situation. I don’t know if the disparity is just because of reddit’s demographics, or because people with alternate perspectives see the writing on the board and don’t want to get down voted to oblivion.
\\n\\nSo even if you get 4000 replies on reddit saying that you’re totally in the right, if everyone in your real life thinks you’re an asshole, well… there’s probably a reason for that. And maybe this is just me, but I really wish we could have more discussion about if someone is being an asshole if they’re being inconsiderate or selfish, even if they don’t technically “owe” anyone anything.
\\n\\nOr maybe you believe that people offline are wrong, and we should continue to promote the individualistic value system seen on reddit both on and offline. That's a discussion worth having too.
\\n\\nEdit: Thanks guys, this is very interesting discussion so far. And lol don't just downvote the people who disagree with me/you, engage them without being combative.
\\n\\nEdit 2: I’ve never seen this movie, but it’s come to my attention that there already exists in this world an excellent TL,DR: “You’re not wrong Walter, you’re just an asshole”
\\nWhile I find this notion accurate to a degree, I've lately noticed far more OBVIOUS not-the-asshole posts. The picture painted is completely one-sided, obtuse, and it's transparent that the person posting is desperately trying to be validated or "right" as opposed to actually wondering if what he/she did is immoral or unethical, or just overall unbecoming.
\\n\\nI suppose this could be part of what OP is talking about, though.
\\nYeah I see so many “my roommate moved their entire family into our apartment and started running a drug den out of our garage. AITA for telling them I’m not okay with it?” type posts and it boggles my mind how the OP couldn’t figure it out themselves. Or it’s just karma farming.
\\nThere was also the one recently where OPs best friends fiancee didn't want them in the wedding because of something they said previously, but they conveniently left out what it actually was that they said.
\\n\\nI tend to just ignore and move on from the posts that are so obviously only giving their version of the story.
\\nI’ve enjoyed reading and posting on this sub for many months now, and I feel like I’ve noticed a disconcerting trend, lately. Over time, more and more of the posts seem to have A- a universal consensus on every post, with any dissenters massively downvoted and B- a shift towards judgments that seem (to me at least) to be out of step with how people in the real world judge situations.
\\n\\nGiven that, I think it’s important to remember that even though the sub is not intended to be for validation posts or to be an echo chamber or to give advice on how people should behave in specific situations- in practice, a lot of times it is.
\\n\\nSo just as a reminder- offline, people in your real life will think you’re an asshole if you take the last cookie when you know the child behind you wants it.
\\n\\nThey’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t stand up for an elderly person on a bus. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t go out for drinks with your co-workers once in a while. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t try to be involved in your child’s life, no matter how much support you pay. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t help out your brother with babysitting once in a while, even if you’re childfree. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you wear nothing but underwear in your own home when your roommate has guests over. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t detour for 10 minutes a day to carpool with a co-worker for a week while his car is in the shop.
\\n\\nThe internet has its own values, and that’s fine. But in the real world, people who can’t just go along to get along most of the time? People who don’t want to mildly inconvenience themselves to help out the people around them? People who don’t seem to put any stock into the idea of collectivism? The people around them are going to consider them to be assholes.
\\n\\nSo yeah. I love this sub, I love reading the stories and I find it very interesting to hear people’s opinions. But I personally think that probably more than 50% of the time, the people I know in real life would disagree with the sub’s judgement of who’s the asshole in a given situation. I don’t know if the disparity is just because of reddit’s demographics, or because people with alternate perspectives see the writing on the board and don’t want to get down voted to oblivion.
\\n\\nSo even if you get 4000 replies on reddit saying that you’re totally in the right, if everyone in your real life thinks you’re an asshole, well… there’s probably a reason for that. And maybe this is just me, but I really wish we could have more discussion about if someone is being an asshole if they’re being inconsiderate or selfish, even if they don’t technically “owe” anyone anything.
\\n\\nOr maybe you believe that people offline are wrong, and we should continue to promote the individualistic value system seen on reddit both on and offline. That's a discussion worth having too.
\\n\\nEdit: Thanks guys, this is very interesting discussion so far. And lol don't just downvote the people who disagree with me/you, engage them without being combative.
\\n\\nEdit 2: I’ve never seen this movie, but it’s come to my attention that there already exists in this world an excellent TL,DR: “You’re not wrong Walter, you’re just an asshole”
\\nWhile I find this notion accurate to a degree, I've lately noticed far more OBVIOUS not-the-asshole posts. The picture painted is completely one-sided, obtuse, and it's transparent that the person posting is desperately trying to be validated or "right" as opposed to actually wondering if what he/she did is immoral or unethical, or just overall unbecoming.
\\n\\nI suppose this could be part of what OP is talking about, though.
\\nYeah I see so many “my roommate moved their entire family into our apartment and started running a drug den out of our garage. AITA for telling them I’m not okay with it?” type posts and it boggles my mind how the OP couldn’t figure it out themselves. Or it’s just karma farming.
\\nThere was also the one recently where OPs best friends fiancee didn't want them in the wedding because of something they said previously, but they conveniently left out what it actually was that they said.
\\n\\nI tend to just ignore and move on from the posts that are so obviously only giving their version of the story.
\\nI’ve enjoyed reading and posting on this sub for many months now, and I feel like I’ve noticed a disconcerting trend, lately. Over time, more and more of the posts seem to have A- a universal consensus on every post, with any dissenters massively downvoted and B- a shift towards judgments that seem (to me at least) to be out of step with how people in the real world judge situations.
\\n\\nGiven that, I think it’s important to remember that even though the sub is not intended to be for validation posts or to be an echo chamber or to give advice on how people should behave in specific situations- in practice, a lot of times it is.
\\n\\nSo just as a reminder- offline, people in your real life will think you’re an asshole if you take the last cookie when you know the child behind you wants it.
\\n\\nThey’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t stand up for an elderly person on a bus. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t go out for drinks with your co-workers once in a while. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t try to be involved in your child’s life, no matter how much support you pay. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t help out your brother with babysitting once in a while, even if you’re childfree. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you wear nothing but underwear in your own home when your roommate has guests over. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t detour for 10 minutes a day to carpool with a co-worker for a week while his car is in the shop.
\\n\\nThe internet has its own values, and that’s fine. But in the real world, people who can’t just go along to get along most of the time? People who don’t want to mildly inconvenience themselves to help out the people around them? People who don’t seem to put any stock into the idea of collectivism? The people around them are going to consider them to be assholes.
\\n\\nSo yeah. I love this sub, I love reading the stories and I find it very interesting to hear people’s opinions. But I personally think that probably more than 50% of the time, the people I know in real life would disagree with the sub’s judgement of who’s the asshole in a given situation. I don’t know if the disparity is just because of reddit’s demographics, or because people with alternate perspectives see the writing on the board and don’t want to get down voted to oblivion.
\\n\\nSo even if you get 4000 replies on reddit saying that you’re totally in the right, if everyone in your real life thinks you’re an asshole, well… there’s probably a reason for that. And maybe this is just me, but I really wish we could have more discussion about if someone is being an asshole if they’re being inconsiderate or selfish, even if they don’t technically “owe” anyone anything.
\\n\\nOr maybe you believe that people offline are wrong, and we should continue to promote the individualistic value system seen on reddit both on and offline. That's a discussion worth having too.
\\n\\nEdit: Thanks guys, this is very interesting discussion so far. And lol don't just downvote the people who disagree with me/you, engage them without being combative.
\\n\\nEdit 2: I’ve never seen this movie, but it’s come to my attention that there already exists in this world an excellent TL,DR: “You’re not wrong Walter, you’re just an asshole”
\\nWhile I find this notion accurate to a degree, I've lately noticed far more OBVIOUS not-the-asshole posts. The picture painted is completely one-sided, obtuse, and it's transparent that the person posting is desperately trying to be validated or "right" as opposed to actually wondering if what he/she did is immoral or unethical, or just overall unbecoming.
\\n\\nI suppose this could be part of what OP is talking about, though.
\\nYeah I see so many “my roommate moved their entire family into our apartment and started running a drug den out of our garage. AITA for telling them I’m not okay with it?” type posts and it boggles my mind how the OP couldn’t figure it out themselves. Or it’s just karma farming.
\\nThere was also the one recently where OPs best friends fiancee didn't want them in the wedding because of something they said previously, but they conveniently left out what it actually was that they said.
\\n\\nI tend to just ignore and move on from the posts that are so obviously only giving their version of the story.
\\nI’ve enjoyed reading and posting on this sub for many months now, and I feel like I’ve noticed a disconcerting trend, lately. Over time, more and more of the posts seem to have A- a universal consensus on every post, with any dissenters massively downvoted and B- a shift towards judgments that seem (to me at least) to be out of step with how people in the real world judge situations.
\\n\\nGiven that, I think it’s important to remember that even though the sub is not intended to be for validation posts or to be an echo chamber or to give advice on how people should behave in specific situations- in practice, a lot of times it is.
\\n\\nSo just as a reminder- offline, people in your real life will think you’re an asshole if you take the last cookie when you know the child behind you wants it.
\\n\\nThey’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t stand up for an elderly person on a bus. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t go out for drinks with your co-workers once in a while. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t try to be involved in your child’s life, no matter how much support you pay. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t help out your brother with babysitting once in a while, even if you’re childfree. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you wear nothing but underwear in your own home when your roommate has guests over. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t detour for 10 minutes a day to carpool with a co-worker for a week while his car is in the shop.
\\n\\nThe internet has its own values, and that’s fine. But in the real world, people who can’t just go along to get along most of the time? People who don’t want to mildly inconvenience themselves to help out the people around them? People who don’t seem to put any stock into the idea of collectivism? The people around them are going to consider them to be assholes.
\\n\\nSo yeah. I love this sub, I love reading the stories and I find it very interesting to hear people’s opinions. But I personally think that probably more than 50% of the time, the people I know in real life would disagree with the sub’s judgement of who’s the asshole in a given situation. I don’t know if the disparity is just because of reddit’s demographics, or because people with alternate perspectives see the writing on the board and don’t want to get down voted to oblivion.
\\n\\nSo even if you get 4000 replies on reddit saying that you’re totally in the right, if everyone in your real life thinks you’re an asshole, well… there’s probably a reason for that. And maybe this is just me, but I really wish we could have more discussion about if someone is being an asshole if they’re being inconsiderate or selfish, even if they don’t technically “owe” anyone anything.
\\n\\nOr maybe you believe that people offline are wrong, and we should continue to promote the individualistic value system seen on reddit both on and offline. That's a discussion worth having too.
\\n\\nEdit: Thanks guys, this is very interesting discussion so far. And lol don't just downvote the people who disagree with me/you, engage them without being combative.
\\n\\nEdit 2: I’ve never seen this movie, but it’s come to my attention that there already exists in this world an excellent TL,DR: “You’re not wrong Walter, you’re just an asshole”
\\nWhile I find this notion accurate to a degree, I've lately noticed far more OBVIOUS not-the-asshole posts. The picture painted is completely one-sided, obtuse, and it's transparent that the person posting is desperately trying to be validated or "right" as opposed to actually wondering if what he/she did is immoral or unethical, or just overall unbecoming.
\\n\\nI suppose this could be part of what OP is talking about, though.
\\nYeah I see so many “my roommate moved their entire family into our apartment and started running a drug den out of our garage. AITA for telling them I’m not okay with it?” type posts and it boggles my mind how the OP couldn’t figure it out themselves. Or it’s just karma farming.
\\nI’ve enjoyed reading and posting on this sub for many months now, and I feel like I’ve noticed a disconcerting trend, lately. Over time, more and more of the posts seem to have A- a universal consensus on every post, with any dissenters massively downvoted and B- a shift towards judgments that seem (to me at least) to be out of step with how people in the real world judge situations.
\\n\\nGiven that, I think it’s important to remember that even though the sub is not intended to be for validation posts or to be an echo chamber or to give advice on how people should behave in specific situations- in practice, a lot of times it is.
\\n\\nSo just as a reminder- offline, people in your real life will think you’re an asshole if you take the last cookie when you know the child behind you wants it.
\\n\\nThey’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t stand up for an elderly person on a bus. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t go out for drinks with your co-workers once in a while. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you don’t try to be involved in your child’s life, no matter how much support you pay. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t help out your brother with babysitting once in a while, even if you’re childfree. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you wear nothing but underwear in your own home when your roommate has guests over. They’ll think you’re an asshole if you can’t detour for 10 minutes a day to carpool with a co-worker for a week while his car is in the shop.
\\n\\nThe internet has its own values, and that’s fine. But in the real world, people who can’t just go along to get along most of the time? People who don’t want to mildly inconvenience themselves to help out the people around them? People who don’t seem to put any stock into the idea of collectivism? The people around them are going to consider them to be assholes.
\\n\\nSo yeah. I love this sub, I love reading the stories and I find it very interesting to hear people’s opinions. But I personally think that probably more than 50% of the time, the people I know in real life would disagree with the sub’s judgement of who’s the asshole in a given situation. I don’t know if the disparity is just because of reddit’s demographics, or because people with alternate perspectives see the writing on the board and don’t want to get down voted to oblivion.
\\n\\nSo even if you get 4000 replies on reddit saying that you’re totally in the right, if everyone in your real life thinks you’re an asshole, well… there’s probably a reason for that. And maybe this is just me, but I really wish we could have more discussion about if someone is being an asshole if they’re being inconsiderate or selfish, even if they don’t technically “owe” anyone anything.
\\n\\nOr maybe you believe that people offline are wrong, and we should continue to promote the individualistic value system seen on reddit both on and offline. That's a discussion worth having too.
\\n\\nEdit: Thanks guys, this is very interesting discussion so far. And lol don't just downvote the people who disagree with me/you, engage them without being combative.
\\n\\nEdit 2: I’ve never seen this movie, but it’s come to my attention that there already exists in this world an excellent TL,DR: “You’re not wrong Walter, you’re just an asshole”
\\nWhile I find this notion accurate to a degree, I've lately noticed far more OBVIOUS not-the-asshole posts. The picture painted is completely one-sided, obtuse, and it's transparent that the person posting is desperately trying to be validated or "right" as opposed to actually wondering if what he/she did is immoral or unethical, or just overall unbecoming.
\\n\\nI suppose this could be part of what OP is talking about, though.
\\nYeah I see so many “my roommate moved their entire family into our apartment and started running a drug den out of our garage. AITA for telling them I’m not okay with it?” type posts and it boggles my mind how the OP couldn’t figure it out themselves. Or it’s just karma farming.
\\nI know right people kindly bring their family into someones life and offer them cheap drugs and they throw it back in their face. People can really be assholes sometimes.
\\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My original post got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.
\\n\\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.
\\n\\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.
\\n\\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.
\\n\\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.
\\n\\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.
\\n\\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.
\\n\\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.
\\n\\n
\\n\\n
\\n\\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)
\\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My original post got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.
\\n\\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.
\\n\\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.
\\n\\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.
\\n\\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.
\\n\\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.
\\n\\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.
\\n\\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.
\\n\\n
\\n\\n
\\n\\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)
\\nWow. OP's grandfather is a saint.
\\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My original post got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.
\\n\\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.
\\n\\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.
\\n\\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.
\\n\\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.
\\n\\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.
\\n\\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.
\\n\\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.
\\n\\n
\\n\\n
\\n\\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)
\\nWow. OP's grandfather is a saint.
\\nToo right my guy, the sad thing is is that he should have had to be as kind and good as he was. The parents where disgusting people who robbed someone of the necessary childhood experiences and felt no remorse for it.
\\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My original post got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.
\\n\\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.
\\n\\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.
\\n\\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.
\\n\\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.
\\n\\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.
\\n\\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.
\\n\\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.
\\n\\n
\\n\\n
\\n\\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)
\\nWow. OP's grandfather is a saint.
\\nToo right my guy, the sad thing is is that he should have had to be as kind and good as he was. The parents where disgusting people who robbed someone of the necessary childhood experiences and felt no remorse for it.
\\nWhile simultaneously robbing the other child of the professional care she needs.
\\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My original post got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.
\\n\\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.
\\n\\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.
\\n\\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.
\\n\\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.
\\n\\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.
\\n\\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.
\\n\\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.
\\n\\n
\\n\\n
\\n\\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)
\\nWow. OP's grandfather is a saint.
\\nToo right my guy, the sad thing is is that he should have had to be as kind and good as he was. The parents where disgusting people who robbed someone of the necessary childhood experiences and felt no remorse for it.
\\nWhile simultaneously robbing the other child of the professional care she needs.
\\nand robbing other family members of money for said professional care and using it for something completely unrelated
\\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My original post got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.
\\n\\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.
\\n\\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.
\\n\\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.
\\n\\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.
\\n\\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.
\\n\\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.
\\n\\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.
\\n\\n
\\n\\n
\\n\\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)
\\nWow. OP's grandfather is a saint.
\\nToo right my guy, the sad thing is is that he should have had to be as kind and good as he was. The parents where disgusting people who robbed someone of the necessary childhood experiences and felt no remorse for it.
\\nWhile simultaneously robbing the other child of the professional care she needs.
\\nand robbing other family members of money for said professional care and using it for something completely unrelated
\\nOn the other hand, if they hadn't done all that then they would be robbing us reddit users of this great story.
\\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My original post got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.
\\n\\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.
\\n\\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.
\\n\\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.
\\n\\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.
\\n\\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.
\\n\\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.
\\n\\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.
\\n\\n
\\n\\n
\\n\\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)
\\nWow. OP's grandfather is a saint.
\\nToo right my guy, the sad thing is is that he should have had to be as kind and good as he was. The parents where disgusting people who robbed someone of the necessary childhood experiences and felt no remorse for it.
\\nWhile simultaneously robbing the other child of the professional care she needs.
\\nand robbing other family members of money for said professional care and using it for something completely unrelated
\\nOn the other hand, if they hadn't done all that then they would be robbing us reddit users of this great story.
\\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My original post got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.
\\n\\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.
\\n\\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.
\\n\\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.
\\n\\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.
\\n\\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.
\\n\\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.
\\n\\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.
\\n\\n
\\n\\n
\\n\\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)
\\nWow. OP's grandfather is a saint.
\\nToo right my guy, the sad thing is is that he should have had to be as kind and good as he was. The parents where disgusting people who robbed someone of the necessary childhood experiences and felt no remorse for it.
\\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My original post got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.
\\n\\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.
\\n\\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.
\\n\\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.
\\n\\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.
\\n\\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.
\\n\\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.
\\n\\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.
\\n\\n
\\n\\n
\\n\\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)
\\nWow. OP's grandfather is a saint.
\\nToo right my guy, the sad thing is is that he should have had to be as kind and good as he was. The parents where disgusting people who robbed someone of the necessary childhood experiences and felt no remorse for it.
\\nRaise your kids, spoil your grandchildren
\\n\\nSpoil your kids, raise your grandchildren
\\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My original post got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.
\\n\\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.
\\n\\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.
\\n\\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.
\\n\\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.
\\n\\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.
\\n\\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.
\\n\\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.
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\\n\\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.
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\\n\\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all.
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\\n\\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.
\\n\\n
\\n\\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)
\\nWow. OP's grandfather is a saint.
\\nToo right my guy, the sad thing is is that he should have had to be as kind and good as he was. The parents where disgusting people who robbed someone of the necessary childhood experiences and felt no remorse for it.
\\nRaise your kids, spoil your grandchildren
\\n\\nSpoil your kids, raise your grandchildren
\\n