Split (1)

train · 265k rows

post_text stringlengths 0 17.5k	post_title stringlengths 4 315	post_scores int64 0 42.1k	comment_texts list	comment_scores list	comment_times list
	[WP] A pretty face and a rotten heart	2	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "A Pretty Face, a Rotten Heart.\n\tBy Jacob Dela\n**\n\n“Angela, Angela, Angela.” He kept saying her name, saying it like he was trying so hard not to forget it. “Angela!” His voice spiked with anger as his body jerks left then right, in his hands were a pipe as he beat down on a desk, his face was frothing with seething rage as his hands swung the metal rod down with a heavy thud. More and more he swung the rod as it punctures and broke through the hard, yet weakened wood, more and more did you swing at the desk - until it collapsed beneath it’s own weight. \n\n“Angela!!” He turned his head up and shouted at the sky, his anger was at it’s limit as he flung the rod from his hand, to the desk, cracking whatever wood had left intact. “If I ever see that woman again, if I have to see her face, her rounded and stubby nose - her voice. I’ll- I’ll…” Jack’s fury was calming, falling like a brick off a rooftop, as it cascaded down in the misery-filled depths of depression. His hands which were battered and dried with caked blood, rose up to his face and rubbed his cheeks. \n\nHe kept rubbing them, rubbing until they were raw and turned pink as he tried to rub the pain away, tried to rub all the anguish and agony away. Tears started to flow as they raced down his cheeks, burning them with a sting that he was all too familiar with. He wasn’t angry at her, at himself, or anyone else. He was angry at his anger, at his emotions and at his inability to control them. Like a dog on an invisible leash, he let his emotions run rampant, letting them harm anyone they wanted and hurt whoever they pleased, he didn’t have it in himself to control them. \n\n“Ang-… Angela.” His voice cracked between the name as he dropped to his knees, a puddle below splashed with the force of his weight as mud and muck rolled up his pants. He wasn’t angry no more. He was sad, a rolling depression and dysthysmia which slowly consumed him on a day to day basis. He lied, this was one emotion he fought, one emotion he tried to tame, to control. As much as he wanted to, as much as he wanted them back, as much as he wanted them all to forgive him - he knew they wouldn’t. He knew they were all changed, tainted by the hatred and the lies, by the promises and shattered dreams, by the uncontrollable animal that many used to hold close. To hold him.\n\nHe couldn’t bring himself to the truth, to the painful truth that the only woman that he’s ever loved, had left him. She was a sickly, frail but wonderful woman. She wasn’t pretty by all counts, she was like a pickle, bitter and sour, bumpy and rigidity. But he loved her, and she loved him. Angela never could understand why Jack had chosen her, why his heart had swayed to her direction when the man had all kinds women lined up. All the cheerleaders and the cheer-captain, the popular and rich, the nerdy and young - hell even some of the teachers lined up for him. But that fateful day, that rainy and soaked-filled day, he had chosen her, and she chose him.\n\nBut now she was gone, and he was lost. He’d never get to feel her battered and bruised skin, the cigarette burns and the whip lashed markings which crowded her pale and olive-toned skin. Never again would he see the emerald eyes which blazed with a fiery sense of confidence and attentive. Never again, would he get to feel her body the way she had let him, to slowly caress her rough and dry skin, like she wanted him to - to slowly rub down her outer thigh and up her inner thigh, to feel what she felt on the inside and outside, to let himself explore every square inch of her body. He felt weak, he felt sick and cold. Jack turned away, away from the desk and threw up.\n\nHe didn’t belong here, he let his emotions control the better and the worse of him, he let them run rampant and free - like a child without a proper mother, an owner that neglects their pet. It was painful. Jack stood up when the vomit was all out of him, when the sickly bitter taste left his mouth and left behind a foul-metallic taste that was imprinted onto his tongue. He turned around and bent over, picking up the iron pipe as if it belonged to him, as if he owned the item and all the memories that he shared with it. And truthfully, to him, he felt like he owned it, he felt like that it’s become a part of him as much as he’s become a part of it. \n\n“I’m sorry.” He looked down at the desk, at the markings of blue and black, which here put there permanently by a marker. He looked through the time-line of history which showed itself to him like an open book, his eyes read over every detail of every sentence and letters which weren’t destroyed by his rage. A&J - 2012, he stared at that for the longest. His heart thumped in his chest as he could feel it in his ears, of all the things ruined by him, hurt and destroyed - these words, this sentence, it stayed intact. Maybe… Maybe he was looking at this the wrong way, his eyes tracked over the other lines which used to form words, they traced over images and draws which where splintered and torn. Yet those two letters, that heart that encircled them both, bringing them into a loving embrace that neither time, weather nor his rage, could ever break up.\n\nHe felt like he was taking this differently, she didn’t break up with him because of the anger, it was because of time and the attention, he got so caught up with everyone else’s drama, all their hurtful words and directed slurs, he simply forgot about the woman, about his love and lover. He wasn’t angry at her, just like she wasn’t angry at him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- to do this. I didn’t mean to forget you, to put you on the back burner and let you there to stew while I dealt with everyone else’s problem with me. I-… I never meant to do that.”\n\nHis words trickled out slowly as did the tears which rolled down the spots of the last stream of dried tears, had did. \n\n“I realize that now, I realize I’m been thinking of this wrong, I’ve always thought that you left me for what a monster I was becoming, not because… not because…” The words were caught in his throat as he tried to force what he meant, what he wanted to say and what he wanted her to realize. But at that moment he heard something, a footstep crunched a patch of leafs as Jack whipped around, pipe in both hands, him taking a defense stance like a baseball player ready for the swing. But his hands loosened their grip, his jaw slowly fell as his eyes grew wide.\n\n“Angela?” He spoke her name as she looked up, her gaze was following the ground as she tried to make sure she didn’t step on anything she didn’t want to step on, as well as making sure she didn’t trip.\n\n“J-Jack?” She stuttered out, her face looked flushed… Her eyes looked red.\n\n*\n\nThe man at the computer looked over what he had written, his hands composed on certain keys as they had come to a rest, his eyes were weary and tear-filled. Veins ran over the pools of white as his lids where puffy. Jacob sat there, on his chair, fan blowing on his body as his face leaned in once more to check for any spelling errors and the like. He was tired, he was miserable and he was sore. Jacob had been fighting, he was fighting with his girlfriend as they argued over something petty before she swung for him and he swung back.\n\nJacob had stormed to his room after taking a few more hits while delivering some, most of which he missed on purpose, he had come to his computer angry and turned it on before heading over the one site he knew would calm him down. A white screen held it’s entirety before being filled with black text and colorful images, the banner “Reddit” was posted at the top as he scrolled over images and stories, of kittens and news, of headers which lined themselves with death and terrorism. None of it was working, none of it was ever going to work.\n\nSo in a last ditch over, he moved the mouse up from the bottom-right corner, up to the list which brought down the subreddits which he was subscribed to. He scrolled down more and more until he came to with the very last one. “/r/writingprompts”. He clicked the name and clicked the tab “New.” After a bit of eying, he found one that sung a song that resonated with his soul. “A pretty face, a rotten heart.” \n\nWith a click and a breathe, he took to the prompt and begun to write…*" ]	[ 1, 3 ]	[ "1505133497", "1505130512" ]
[removed]	[WP] Now that methane powered pairs of underwear are available to charge your cell phone. The law firm of Findem and Screwem are here to file your embarrassing claims. Call now!	0	[ "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nNo troll or meme-based prompts. \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/6zg9oq/wp_now_that_methane_powered_pairs_of_underwear/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things.", "\"Hello. My name is Andrea, how may I help you today?\"\n\n\"Uh... hi. So, this is the hotline for the methane powered pairs of underwear claims right?\"\n\n\"Yes sir! Let me just pull up a claim form right now. Now can you explain to me what has happened?\"\n\n\"So, umm.. you know how the underwear charges your phone right?\"\n\n\"Yes, sir. With methane.\"\n\n\"Well, here's a little background. I have chronic flatulence.\"\n\n\"Right?\"\n\n\"Well, um... I've been allowing people to connect their phones to my underwear so that I can charge their phones. After a while, I started charging per the minute. What has happened is that.... I've made a lot of money. Like ... A LOT of money.\"\n\n\"And the complaint here is?\"\n\n\"The IRS is suddenly auditing me.\"\n\n\"That's fantastic!\"\n\n\"It is?\"\n\n\"Yup! I can add you to a class-action lawsuit we're cooking up. You can get large compensation, once we take our cut of course. I'll need your name and I'll book an appointment for you.\"\n\n\"Name's Ben Dover.\"\n\n\"Sir, could you come in today?\"\n___________________________________________\n\n\"Hello. My name is Matt, how may I help you today?\"\n\n\"Hi, I need to file a complaint for the methane powered underwear that can charge your cell phone.\"\n\n\"Of course. May I get a name please?\"\n\n\"Anita Dickinme.\"\n\n\"Right, of course it is. So, how what is your complaint?\"\n\n\"I've bought dozens of cows because of their dense methane-rich reactions. I use the cows to generate electricity. I give back to the national grid and get paid for it. I'm now being sued by PETA for being inhumane to the cows, but I have followed all of their regulations.\"\n\n\"I'm sure you have. I've noted everything and someone from Findem and Screwem to come to your facility and make sure you are. Then we'll go from there.\"\n\n\"Thanks so much!\"\n_______________________________________________________\n\n\"Hello. My name is Sai, how may I help you today?\"\n\n\"Hello? Is this the really weird underwear hotline?\"\n\n\"Yes, sir. How may I help you?\"\n\n\"Complaint please. Underwear cause giant fire. I am dying.\"\n\n\"Sir, I'm going to patch you to 911...\"\n\n\"Thank you, so much.\"\n\n\"Don't forget to call back though! We have a class-action lawsuit for burn victims of the underwear.\"" ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1505145881", "1505147465" ]
[removed]	[WP]	0	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nPrompts go in the title. You can add more in the text, but avoid [too many details](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/prompts?src=RECIPE). \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/6zmgel/wp/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1505217195", "1505217370" ]
	[WP] You walk around London and stumble upon a bar looking for a washroom. You go into a room and find 30 clones of The Queen of England...	9	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "I stumbled inside 'cause I needed a piss, \nSo inside the bathroom I went, \nThe Queens screamed at me, then one of them said, \nThe door on the left is the gents" ]	[ 1, 13 ]	[ "1505219471", "1505219861" ]
	[WP] In a shadow war between opposing groups within the US Deep State, you are a special forces operator tasked with infiltrating a top secret facility in the Nevada Desert	0	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\"Aten-Hut!\". The colonel strode into a small dark room illuminated by a single lantern on the table. Fourteen men, garbed in black, were at attention before him. \n\n\"At ease\" the colonel said. The silent men took a seat, but their laser like focus and calm demeanor did not change. The colonel wondered as he gazed at the maps laid out before him on the table as to why a full team was needed for this insertion. Yet, the colonel had the good sense to never turn down resources that were offered to him. His personal experiences in Vietnam as a paratrooper taught him taught him that.\n\nAs to what the insertion team was thinking, the answer is they were not thinking much at all. Their job required patience, calmness, and control. They did not get to be special forces by rushing though and asking a thousand questions. Further still, there did not achieve their independent specialty and sub-specialty by haste. There were seven 'specialties' in this unit, and each man was cross-trained in two. That way, if half the team were to be lost or separated, they would still maintain all the tactical prowess and resourcefulness that is legendary of this particular unit. \n\nOne common thread in all of the unit members was appreciation for the colonel leading the operation. Known for being calm and collected, the colonel was known to give the best units leeway into how they think the operation should be carried out. He would work out the structure and bones of the plan, but the fine details of the plan - those that only become apparent once you have boots on the ground - he left up to the soldiers. Some units were devastated by god complexes and egos, both by leadership and by the soldiery. In this dim room, there was nothing but the highest respect between the two parties along with the determination to get the job done.\n\n\"Men\", the colonel began. \"The plan, on one hand, is very simple. Intelligence has determined that there is a scientist in one of the NSA computer battalions who is leaking some damaging reports to the North Koreans. Worse, he is doing this on orders from someone up high in the NSA, the identity of whom we have not been able to determine. Your job is to gain access this complex quietly and kidnap the scientist for further questioning. However, you cannot just waltz into the joint. If the NSA systems flag spec ops entering the building, the tango will freak and run. He will then alert his superior - who will probably just kill him and dump him in some back alley - and then no one will be the wiser who this mole is in the NSA. Questions so far?\"\n\n\"Area 51?\" one soldier from the back asked.\n\n\"No. This computer plant pulls so much power that it had to be hidden from view, both from the naked eye and within the power grid. Too much information is flowing through this plant to risk leaving it in the view of the Chinese to hack. Thus, we had to hide the plant somewhere. Have any of you gentlemen heard of Vegas?\" the colonel said with a sly grin.\n\nAll the men broke a smile. \"It is actually underground a mile or two away from the interior of the city,\" continued the colonel. \"Power from Hoover Dam actually runs to this facility first, then to Vegas, thereby hiding the power consumption. All hidden entrances in the desert are a no-go because the second you enter, the false credentials we have cooked up for you will be busted and the op is gone. So you will have to walk through the front door. Make sure you shake Caesar's hand for me. God knows he has lost more of my money than I care to admit.\"\n\n\"Sir, is this a weapons-hot op?\" asked the lieutenant.\n\nThe colonel paused for a second. Pain and misery seem to flash across his features as he remembered another squad that had been killed on orders by this same mysterious NSA mole. He briefly considered his options. He was ordered to spare all civilian life, yet how could he, in good conscience, follow that when those orders were the same ones he told Charlie squad.\n\n\"They have taken some of ours, we are gonna take some of theirs. Weapons hot boys, and take whatever toys you need. Just don't blow up the strip\"." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1505230282", "1505234370" ]
	[WP] Alien scientists debate over whether us humans should be considered sentient or not.	11	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "“Welcome Arbiter, the court thanks you for your service.”\n\nGalen Wynn placed his right hand flat on his chest, presumably the equivalent of a bow in his society and returned to his seat beside Jacob. Galen’s arguments, from what Jacob could ascertain, were going quite well, though his grasp on the proceedings were tenuous at best. Galen had explained that despite their impressive translation technology, the English language simply lacked a great many words and ideas needed to fully understand the alien court. Three Arbiters, including Galen, had provided their testimony, arguing the many points for and against including humanity under the Galactic Sentience clause. Jacob was still fuzzy on what that meant.\n\nHours had passed since the proceedings had begun and Jacob’s mind had wandered during the last section. Galen had been explaining human emotion to his fellows, arguing that despite being “irrational and inconsistent”, it still qualified for their definition of “Interpersonal Bonds”. The opposition, voiced by Fennic Lyr, condemned humanity’s perpetual wars, exploitation of the weak, and reverence for power as evidence that human society had not yet evolved to a point of true sentience. Despite only vaguely paying attention, Jacob agreed that the man, or whatever he was, certainly had a point.\n\nWith that thought, he studied Fennic and Galen, amazed once again at how human they appeared. Both were handsome men, by Earth standards at least, standing slightly over six feet tall with bright blue eyes and chiseled jaws. Galen wore dark hair, contrasting starkly with Fennic’s blonde. Evidently, according to Galen, bipedal life was rather common in the galaxy and human-like appearance a particularly beneficial trait for Arbiters that spent time living among humans as he, Fennic, and Shian Trey all had. The third woman had remained largely silent during the proceedings. As he studied her, he realized she was looking at him. In fact, everyone was looking at him.\n\nPanic must have shown in his eyes. Galen laid his hand on Jacob’s shoulder and repeated, “Please, step forward friend.” He had missed his cue in his reverie, evidently. A shining example of humanity, Jacob, good job… He stood quickly, setting aside his self-beratement for later. Unsure where to go, he simply took a step forward and looked at the Judge who, he hoped, had been the one to call him forward.\n\n“Welcome Emissary, the court thanks you for your service.” \n\nLost in these alien proceedings, he placed his right hand on his chest, trying to imitate Galen’s gesture from before, earning him what he could only describe as an alien equivalent of sniggering from Fennic. Judge smiled, though her wrinkly face was notably less human than the three Arbiters, she nonetheless seemed like a kindly grandmother listening to a small child ramble out his silly stories. \n\n“The Court recognizes the difficulties of being dropped into an alien world, expected to somehow speak for your entire race in proceedings that hardly make any sense.” Again she smiled, as if she could see his thoughts plainly written on his face. “Twenty-six peoples have joined the Collective and all have stood where you stand now. This is not, as your people say, ‘our first rodeo’”.\n\nIt was a simple gesture, but hearing a human colloquialism eased the tension. Jacob smiled as she continued, “Now then, let us continue. Most civilizations are dismissed before we reach this fifth and final part of our investigation which, the Court has found, need be spoken for by a member of candidate civilization. I shall explain the fifth requirement for Galactic Sentience and then you may speak, for as long as you wish, to argue your people’s case.”\n\nShe paused, a brief flicker of sadness behind her kindly eyes, as if she already knew the outcome. Fennic’s words rang painfully in Jacob’s mind, “...absolutely barbarous. These are children, your honor, their own offspring. This isn’t happening in the dark corners of their planet, it happens in the centers of their civilization! Places where art and science and culture flourish! Yet they ignore it, because monetary wealth supersedes their own ‘humanity’.” The last word had been spat with such vitriol that Jacob was surprised the translation had even worked. \n\nEven Galen, his friend, had voiced concerns over humanity’s inclusion in their Galactic Sentience. “‘Human Rights’, as they’ve named it, are sorely lacking in many parts of the planet. Females are still sold to males, or even where they are not, they lack any of the aforementioned rights to govern their own lives or bodies. They hold onto many archaic and reprehensible limitations regarding marital unions, procreation, and a bizarre perception of ‘race’. Many of these pervade their society as a whole, ranging from gainful employment to outright acts of hatred against one another.”\n\nJacob stood alone, a tear threatening the corner of his eye as he nodded for Judge to continue. “The fifth requirement is Gainful Purpose. The word, I know, does not translate particularly well, so allow me to explain. Gainful Purpose mandates that your people, as a whole, exist with definite purpose. You must prove that Humanity has ascended above base biology and elementary philosophy and that together you strive to achieve more than the fateful path that evolution has mandated for you. Prove to this Court of Science that Humanity belongs among the stars.”\n\nA long pause hung in the chamber, the reverberations of Judge’s words fading as Jacob struggled to find even an opening sentence. Words were never his strength, he painfully remembered how badly he had bungled his speech as best man for his brother’s wedding. No amount of wine was going to forget that mistake. Lacking anything useful to say but knowing he could not walk away without trying, he said the first words that came to mind.\n\n“My name is Jacob Alan Turner. I’m an accountant and actually, not a very good one. In fact, I kind of hate my job and until Galen here took me on an intergalactic journey, my life was entirely mediocre. No, sorry, my life totally sucked.”\n\nYou should really probably stop talking, Jacob.\n\n“I don’t know why he brought me along, this whole thing feels far too Hitchhiker’s Guide to me. He should have brought the President or whoever is in charge of the U.N or some Men In Black shit, I don’t know. Ok, probably not this President, but that’s not important, it just shouldn’t be me standing here trying to justify that my people have a purpose.”\n\nHe let out an audible sigh, head hanging low before he picked up again. \n\n“I don’t know if we do have this Gainful Purpose that you’re talking about. I wake up most days and crunch numbers so rich businessmen can screw over hardworking people within the confines of the law. By the end of the day, I go home, drink too many beers, fall asleep and repeat. Is that Gainful Purpose? I doubt it, but that’s my life and that’s the world that I live in. I dream of something better, something lofty that would impress the Court with how sophisticated or advanced the human race is, but that’s all it is. A dream. A hope, I guess, for a better tomorrow. God that sounds awfully cliché.”\n\nJacob looked up as he finished, happy to at least have said something. He looked up, remembering that there were four others in the room and found Judge smiling slightly. I feel like a dog that just shook hands for the first time. He smiled wryly at that, half-chuckling at how true it probably was. He offered as respectful of a bow he could muster and returned to his seat beside Galen, who was also smiling ever so slightly. Judge stood, placing her hand on her chest as Galen had done before.\n\n“The Court thanks you for your service, Emissary.”" ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1505300373", "1505329161" ]
	[WP] Every Sunday for the last year, you've walked to the end of your driveway and found the paper for next week. You've predicted events and avoided mishaps with perfect accuracy. Today, it's not there.	2	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "It wasn't there. I checked all over the driveway. Looked through every bush. Turned over ever rock. But it was nowhere to be found. I groaned, slumping into the crevices of my couch. What was I going to do? That newspaper was my Bible. I’d been following every word of it for the past year, and been reaping the benefits like crazy. Winning lotteries, avoiding disasters, even getting a new girlfriend. It’s improved my life in more ways than I can even count. \n Without that newspaper, I was completely and utterly lost. I groaned even louder, hopelessness clouding my mind like a deep fog.\n As I closed my eyes, reveling in my emptiness, I felt a small buzz in my back pocket. My phone. Of course. Who could be calling now? I sighed and took it out, an unknown number staring me in the face. \n \"Hello?\" My voice laced with sadness. \n \"Hi Mr. Jackson? I'm calling about your subscription to Future Press?\" I gripped the phone tighter and sat straight up. It was the newspaper company. This wasn’t over. I could still get it back. \n\n Keeping my bursting excitement in check, I responded. “Yes this is Mr. Jackson. Was there an issue with my subscription? I didn’t receive the paper this morning.” \n\n “There’s no problem! Your annual subscription just ended and would need to be renewed. Would you be interested in renewing it for another year?” She asked, politeness creeping into every word.\n\n “Absolutely, how much is the subscription?” I inquired. Honestly the price didn’t really matter to me. It could be thousands, even hundreds of thousands of dollars for all I cared. With that newspaper in tow, I could make that money back easy. \n\n She laughed, every word sweetened with a tinge of kindness. “I like that enthusiasm Mr. Jackson. Give me a second to look through your account”. \n\n “Gladly!” I patiently waited for her to look through my details, the sound of her clicking ricocheting off my eardrums. I waited. And waited. Until 10 minutes passed and my impatience became apparent. \n “Did you find anything?” I asked, trying to move the process along.\n\n “Well your last subscription was 10 years off your life, but it seems this new subscription has gone up to 15. I’m willing to bring that down to 12 but would need confirmation from my supervisor” \n\n I paused. Every emotion dissipating into the air. What was she talking about? “Excuse me? 10 years off my life? Is this some kind of joke?” \n\n Her tone was sweet but stern. “This is no joke. We take our subscriptions very seriously” \n\n “I’ve never heard of paying with my life. That doesn’t make any sense” I analyzed each word very carefully, trying to process exactly what she was saying. I mean there’s no way I had actually been paying for this newspaper with my life? That was crazy. I hadn’t even subscribed to anything. It just showed up on my driveway one day. \n\n “Well this must be some kind of mistake then. I never subscribed to anything, and I sure as hell would never agree to pay for anything with my life, especially for some random newspaper” \n\n She laughed. Her honey dew voice turning sinister “I’m sorry if you’ve been misinformed, Mr. Jackson, but the future is never free.” \n" ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1505310982", "1505326550" ]
I used a baker for the title, but any mundane job will do really :)	[WP] "A former assassin seeks a quiet life as a baker but is agitated when he discovers that this is a cover for another assassin agency"	10	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "I walked through the main street that morning. It was only a few minutes past nine and the village had begun to wake up. Two children rushed past me, avidly spotting the ice everyone else avoided so they could slide away (until one of them invariably fell on his behind). An old woman who'd come at her window, appearing sickly as the cold breeze licked and gently burnt her face, popping out of a mass of wraps and wool, shouted a name and told them to be careful - I'd got the hang of the language after 4 months - then gazed sadly at the dead flowers on her windowsill for a moment and went back inside. The gaps between the cobblestone dressing the road were filled with white, as were the hills rising ahead, and a man on a horse greeted me, pointing in their direction, saying he was going to visit a relative or a friend for breakfast and asking me if I'd like to come - despite not being that acquainted to me nor being the host. I politely refused in my foreign accent that always made him chuckle. I'd had my coffee and toast already, but further ahead a warm scent of baked goods tantalized my stomach. \"We're open\", said a welcoming sign hanging on the door from which it emanated, and below it, another one, handwritten, read \"And we're hiring!\". Inside, the heat was comforting and the decoration homely and clean. I was welcomed by a rather tall and pointy man whose hair was of a very light blonde with barely discernible wisps of white. I'd never seen him before. Although he appeared quite austere, he gave me the warmest smile behind the glass counter filled with all colours and sizes of pastries and breads that complemented the soft tones of the rest of the shop. He seemed genuinely happy to see me, not only as a customer, but as if I were a dear old friend. I figured that was just how things were in small towns - a stress-free living, everyone knows each other as family, earns their little money honestly and lives happily with it.\n\n\"Hello! How are you on this fine day?... Would you be interested in a sample of our new special chestnut bread recipe?\" - He spoke to me with hints of a slavic accent. Ah, he was the newly-arrived foreigner everyone had been talking about." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1505338228", "1505344340" ]
	[WP] In a world where every man is part human/part animal, you are Black Mamba. You are contract killer, and you write your victims names and species into a book. Your latest client wan't you to kill a man named Mark. What you don't know is that he is a mongoose.	4	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n" ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1505411699", "1505411699" ]
	[WP] a mysterious group of people released an airborne virus that made dogs and cat bite 30 times harder.	0	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n" ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1505420649", "1505420649" ]
	[WP] I have fallen only for the best of you, yet I know I'll love even the worst of you. I want to bring out the best in you, like saturation does to hue.	3	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "... \nI want to give you the best of me, \nBut I'm afraid you'll hate the worst of me. \nI want to show the best of me, \nLike contrast shows luminosity.\n\nMy lingering glances longer stay, \nFaultering lines what I wished to say. \nWill you know only time can tell, \nFor now I'll sit by the wishing well.\n\nI've come to love the worst of you, \nAnd I'm in awe at the best of you. \nI am drawn to all of you, \nLike light in a shadowed view.\n\nCan you see past the worst of me, \nSo you can know the best of me. \nWill you be capable of accepting all of me, \nLike color in all ranges of intensity.\n\n_ \n[R/TheoreticalFictions](http://www.reddit.com/r/TheoreticalFictions)", "... \nI want to give you the best of me, \nBut I'm afraid you'll hate the worst of me. \nI want to show the best of me, \nLike contrast shows luminosity.\n\nMy lingering glances longer stay, \nFaultering lines what I wished to say. \nWill you know only time can tell, \nFor now I'll sit by the wishing well.\n\nI've come to love the worst of you, \nAnd I'm in awe at the best of you. \nI am drawn to all of you, \nLike light in a shadowed view.\n\nCan you see past the worst of me, \nSo you can know the best of me. \nWill you be capable of accepting all of me, \nLike color in all ranges of intensity.\n\n_ \n[R/TheoreticalFictions](http://www.reddit.com/r/TheoreticalFictions)" ]	[ 1, 1, 2, 2 ]	[ "1505432621", "1505432621", "1505448154", "1505448154" ]
[removed]	[WP] North Korea fired a nuclear missile causing shock towards the whole world. Instead of killing people, Nuclear warheads gives people superpowers and it has all been a hoax by governments of the world that nuclear warheads are dangerous to secure their position as leaders.	1	[ "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nNo prompts referencing real world drama (including politics, recent tragedies, etc.) \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/7081rw/wp_north_korea_fired_a_nuclear_missile_causing/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things.", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nNo prompts referencing real world drama (including politics, recent tragedies, etc.) \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/7081rw/wp_north_korea_fired_a_nuclear_missile_causing/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1505455780", "1505455780" ]
[deleted]	[WP]: Earth as we know it exists with sentient food in place of people. A disgruntled egg comes home after a grueling day at the office to find his savory wife, Bacon, in bed with another flavor; his dear friend, Chocolate.	2	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n" ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1505462985", "1505462985" ]
First post. Please say if I've done anything wrong :p	[WP] You are a druid, watching upon the forest that you have protected your whole life, as it is cut down by the king's men. How will you exact revenge?	7	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "I sat upon the carved tree stump, my hands running through my twig-braided hair as I heard the RSH of an axe into a tree, the sound of the wood roaring as it gave way and toppled. The king and I had had an agreement when he first claimed this land. He respected my ways and I created a sanctuary for his people. RSH I was welcoming. But he had grown arrogant as all men do, wanting to expand his dominion.RSH\n\n\"Hey, you there! We have orders from the king to clear out this wood, begone\" said a heavily build man wielding a large axe with snapped twigs littering the blade. \n\nI could hardly contain myself. I sank to my knees and wept while my fingers sunk into the dampened soil. At the same time, I heard a single raindrop splash onto the forest floor. Then another. Then another, and, with rapid speed, a pelting of rain began to fall upon the forest.\n\nStill on my knees, I started to twist my fingers in the ground and pick at the soil. \"Hey, what on-\" but the lumberjack's words were cut short as I clenched my fingers into a fist and several pillars of soil and rock slammed grasped at his body, crushing him instantly, his once muscular frame reduced to blood and broken bone. I unfurled my fingers and the soil fell to the ground before making way for the remnants of the man, pushing it down below the ground.\n\nMy sorrowful expression turned to one of intense anger. Rising from my knees with the storm howling around me, I walked into a thicket, the brush retracting and shifting to accommodate me. RSH Exiting from the other side I saw another man hard at work butchering a large oak, with three others leaning against the carcasses of their victims.RSH \"Hey Paul, have you seen-\" he started, before looking up at me. \"Hey there, no one's suppo-\" I pulled my arm back and flung a dirt encrusted finger in his direction and two thick vines from behind me sprang forward and leapt onto his face as they began to dig themselves into his eye-sockets. \n\nI didn't stop as he screamed in agony but instead turned to the other workers, their eyes wide in fear and disbelief. Mostly fear. A fatter, younger worker shakily pulled a sword out and took a step towards me but the ground beneath his foot found no purchase as the earth beneath his shifted and he fell into the darkness below. Accompanied by the screams of the writhing man on the floor and the cracks of thunder in the distance I glanced to the others, lifting my hand as-- ka-thunk. \n\nI opened my eyes and looked down to see my dark green and brown robes slowly start to ooze red, blood pouring from the wound of the crossbow bolt. I gasped for air but could find none. The rain around me turned red. Everything around me turned red. I almost fell but the sounds of the forest called to me. The graceful stag that lived in these forests. The birds that sing in the skies above. The strong trees that made the home for so many creatures. I could not let this fall. I would not let this fall. \n\nAs I stood their trembling, time seemed to slow. I heard another ka-thunk and braced for impact, but none came. Instead I saw a fallen stag on the ground in front of me, it's breathing shallow, a crossbow bolt emerging from it's ribs. The water from the sky began to pool around my wounds, cleansing them as air entered my lungs once again. My vision focused on the older, unshaven man clad in leather armour backed against a tree, going for another bolt. He never had the chance as the tree branches mimicked my armed swinging downwards and wrapping around his head, lifting his squirming body upwards and tightening until it was still.\n\nMy long uncombed hair flailing in the wind, I flicked my fingers towards the last member and a bolt of lightning redirected itself towards the man. There was a crash of thunder and a flash where the man once stood. but as the smoke cleared I saw something unnatural. Where the smoke had been a shimmering translucent orb flickered around the man, and as I got a better look at him I saw why. With a long grey beard and hair, clad in fine rune-inscribed robes clutching a hefty tome in one hand and a glowing orb in the other I recognised this man as a wielder of the arcane. I spat at the sight of such a perversion of nature as I steadied myself.\n\nThe wizard's thick brows furrowed as we stared each other down. This was going to be a challenge. Suddenly he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small stone covered with runes, flinging it towards me. It skidded along the rocks to my feet, where it lay still. The wizard began to chant, reading from his tome, and the stone brightened, but before he could finish his chant he gagged as a torrent of rain swirled into his mouth, my outstretched arm directing it. I pushed my hand forward and the man crumpled to the ground, choking violently on the stream forcing its way into his throat. Each time I thrust my fingers forward, his body convulsed until it lay still, blood mixing with the water leaking from his mouth.\n\nI collapsed on the floor, exhausted of my powers. And confused. Why would the king send fighters and arcane users to cut down a forest... unless. Unless he was expecting me. Several of the remaining trees leant to the side granting me a view of the grand castle and kingdom that lay beyond. All at once I sensed a shift of soil near me. My head whipped round to find a young man, hardly anything more than a boy whimpering on the ground in fear.\n\n\"Boy, go to the king and tell him that the forest is coming.\" I commanded and he scampered off into past me towards the kingdom. I watched him go and my eyes, once again fell upon the castle ahead. When the king first came to these lands I thought that all life must be preserved. I was wrong.\n\nNow it's time to send a message.\n\n( First WritingPrompt story, all feedback appreciated! :D )", "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "I sat upon the carved tree stump, my hands running through my twig-braided hair as I heard the RSH of an axe into a tree, the sound of the wood roaring as it gave way and toppled. The king and I had had an agreement when he first claimed this land. He respected my ways and I created a sanctuary for his people. RSH I was welcoming. But he had grown arrogant as all men do, wanting to expand his dominion.RSH\n\n\"Hey, you there! We have orders from the king to clear out this wood, begone\" said a heavily build man wielding a large axe with snapped twigs littering the blade. \n\nI could hardly contain myself. I sank to my knees and wept while my fingers sunk into the dampened soil. At the same time, I heard a single raindrop splash onto the forest floor. Then another. Then another, and, with rapid speed, a pelting of rain began to fall upon the forest.\n\nStill on my knees, I started to twist my fingers in the ground and pick at the soil. \"Hey, what on-\" but the lumberjack's words were cut short as I clenched my fingers into a fist and several pillars of soil and rock slammed grasped at his body, crushing him instantly, his once muscular frame reduced to blood and broken bone. I unfurled my fingers and the soil fell to the ground before making way for the remnants of the man, pushing it down below the ground.\n\nMy sorrowful expression turned to one of intense anger. Rising from my knees with the storm howling around me, I walked into a thicket, the brush retracting and shifting to accommodate me. RSH Exiting from the other side I saw another man hard at work butchering a large oak, with three others leaning against the carcasses of their victims.RSH \"Hey Paul, have you seen-\" he started, before looking up at me. \"Hey there, no one's suppo-\" I pulled my arm back and flung a dirt encrusted finger in his direction and two thick vines from behind me sprang forward and leapt onto his face as they began to dig themselves into his eye-sockets. \n\nI didn't stop as he screamed in agony but instead turned to the other workers, their eyes wide in fear and disbelief. Mostly fear. A fatter, younger worker shakily pulled a sword out and took a step towards me but the ground beneath his foot found no purchase as the earth beneath his shifted and he fell into the darkness below. Accompanied by the screams of the writhing man on the floor and the cracks of thunder in the distance I glanced to the others, lifting my hand as-- ka-thunk. \n\nI opened my eyes and looked down to see my dark green and brown robes slowly start to ooze red, blood pouring from the wound of the crossbow bolt. I gasped for air but could find none. The rain around me turned red. Everything around me turned red. I almost fell but the sounds of the forest called to me. The graceful stag that lived in these forests. The birds that sing in the skies above. The strong trees that made the home for so many creatures. I could not let this fall. I would not let this fall. \n\nAs I stood their trembling, time seemed to slow. I heard another ka-thunk and braced for impact, but none came. Instead I saw a fallen stag on the ground in front of me, it's breathing shallow, a crossbow bolt emerging from it's ribs. The water from the sky began to pool around my wounds, cleansing them as air entered my lungs once again. My vision focused on the older, unshaven man clad in leather armour backed against a tree, going for another bolt. He never had the chance as the tree branches mimicked my armed swinging downwards and wrapping around his head, lifting his squirming body upwards and tightening until it was still.\n\nMy long uncombed hair flailing in the wind, I flicked my fingers towards the last member and a bolt of lightning redirected itself towards the man. There was a crash of thunder and a flash where the man once stood. but as the smoke cleared I saw something unnatural. Where the smoke had been a shimmering translucent orb flickered around the man, and as I got a better look at him I saw why. With a long grey beard and hair, clad in fine rune-inscribed robes clutching a hefty tome in one hand and a glowing orb in the other I recognised this man as a wielder of the arcane. I spat at the sight of such a perversion of nature as I steadied myself.\n\nThe wizard's thick brows furrowed as we stared each other down. This was going to be a challenge. Suddenly he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small stone covered with runes, flinging it towards me. It skidded along the rocks to my feet, where it lay still. The wizard began to chant, reading from his tome, and the stone brightened, but before he could finish his chant he gagged as a torrent of rain swirled into his mouth, my outstretched arm directing it. I pushed my hand forward and the man crumpled to the ground, choking violently on the stream forcing its way into his throat. Each time I thrust my fingers forward, his body convulsed until it lay still, blood mixing with the water leaking from his mouth.\n\nI collapsed on the floor, exhausted of my powers. And confused. Why would the king send fighters and arcane users to cut down a forest... unless. Unless he was expecting me. Several of the remaining trees leant to the side granting me a view of the grand castle and kingdom that lay beyond. All at once I sensed a shift of soil near me. My head whipped round to find a young man, hardly anything more than a boy whimpering on the ground in fear.\n\n\"Boy, go to the king and tell him that the forest is coming.\" I commanded and he scampered off into past me towards the kingdom. I watched him go and my eyes, once again fell upon the castle ahead. When the king first came to these lands I thought that all life must be preserved. I was wrong.\n\nNow it's time to send a message.\n\n( First WritingPrompt story, all feedback appreciated! :D )" ]	[ 1, 1, 1, 1 ]	[ "1505477803", "1505494813", "1505477803", "1505494813" ]
[removed]	[WP] In the year 2017, the space probe Cassini is crashed into Saturn and goes silent. After 20 years, Cassini starts transmitting signals again...	0	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nNo recent reposts, even if changing small details ([copy-cats](http://i.imgur.com/38FjDgW.gifv)). Search before submitting as popular ideas can cause floods. If your idea is based on something you read elsewhere on reddit, chances are it's been submitted here already. Please wait at least 2 weeks before reposting.\n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/709ti8/wp_in_the_year_2017_the_space_probe_cassini_is/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things.", "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nNo recent reposts, even if changing small details ([copy-cats](http://i.imgur.com/38FjDgW.gifv)). Search before submitting as popular ideas can cause floods. If your idea is based on something you read elsewhere on reddit, chances are it's been submitted here already. Please wait at least 2 weeks before reposting.\n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/709ti8/wp_in_the_year_2017_the_space_probe_cassini_is/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1, 1, 1 ]	[ "1505482080", "1505482232", "1505482080", "1505482232" ]
[removed]	[WP] Humans share a psychic/telepathic bond with their soul mate. Problem is, only yours inexplicably lives in the past.	2	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nNo recent reposts, even if changing small details ([copy-cats](http://i.imgur.com/38FjDgW.gifv)). Search before submitting as popular ideas can cause floods. If your idea is based on something you read elsewhere on reddit, chances are it's been submitted here already. Please wait at least 2 weeks before reposting.\n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/70a4hg/wp_humans_share_a_psychictelepathic_bond_with/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things.", "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nNo recent reposts, even if changing small details ([copy-cats](http://i.imgur.com/38FjDgW.gifv)). Search before submitting as popular ideas can cause floods. If your idea is based on something you read elsewhere on reddit, chances are it's been submitted here already. Please wait at least 2 weeks before reposting.\n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/70a4hg/wp_humans_share_a_psychictelepathic_bond_with/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1, 1, 1 ]	[ "1505485236", "1505485500", "1505485236", "1505485500" ]
	[WP] You live in a world were laughter means instant death, you, a seasoned police officer, have been sent to detain the most notorious mass murderer of the century.	144	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "A series of multiple homicides have been plaguing our city for the past quarter century. There were never any survivors or witnesses to speak of what truly happened. Forensic technologies are difficult to develop for these types of deaths. All we know is that the string deaths started with a specific family after the birth of their child. A nurse found the entire family and medical staff deceased in the delivery room with large smiles and wide eyes. However, the child was missing.\n\nLaughing deaths have been uncommon for the past couple hundred of years and almost all were isolated incidents. A spectator would laugh at someone tripping or dropping groceries and meet their untimely fate. Humans had mostly evolved to avoid laughter to the point where babies would not even attempt to laugh. The scarcity of these events highlighted these murderous acts and the community has lived in fear as there was no end in sight.\n\nWith the stunning lack of leads, many legends began to form around the original case in the hospital and the mass murders that followed. Many have theorized that the boy born the day of the first murders is somehow involved with all of the cases. The records at the hospital state that the boy’s name is Henry Brooks. Much of the police department’s effort has focused on locating the boy, who would now be a man, over the past quarter century. Without a description to help with the search, people began to theorize that Henry Brooks grew up alone and, when he found out why, unleased the same punishment on the population. Some of our informants report of a man wandering the streets in what appears to be a clown costume, others report seeing a figure with the face of a devil who always appears to be laughing. \n\nTonight I received a call from an informant who tells me that she saw a figure with a mask on wandering into an abandoned house across the precinct. I immediately grab my things and bring two uniforms to help with the capture. We arrive at the house and knock on the door. \n\n“Stay away,” we hear from the other side of the door from a voice that resembles a man. We inform the man who we are and that we were entering. The uniformed officers enter first and clear the room and I enter seconds after. A figure was sitting in the fetal position in the corner of the first room farthest from the room. The only thing visible is a ghostly white mask which consisted of two eyes and an expressionless, flat opening for the man’s mouth. As he stands up, I notice he is wearing a tight black jumpsuit that covers his entire body except for his mask. He says nothing but just stares at me. We detain him without any resistance and the man remains silent for the rest of the drive back to the precinct. \n\nWe were met at the precinct with thundering applause from our fellow officers. However, I feel as though we accomplished nothing. It was almost an anticlimactic ending to the continuous tragedies our community had been facing. \n\nBefore going to the interrogation room, I quickly reviewed the file of the murders. This man is supposed to have murdered large groups of people in churches at Mass, substance and sex anonymous groups, and various protest groups. He did not flee nor did he put up a fight and, most importantly, he didn’t murder us on the spot. \nI enter the interrogation room. The monotone grey room was silent, dimly lit. I couldn’t even hear him breathing. He was staring at the table and still in the full outfit we detained him in. The uniformed officers informed me that he begged them to let him keep everything on. I sit down and watch him for only a few seconds, but felt like an eternity. Everything about what I was looking at was an enigma.\n\n“What is your name?” I ask.\n\n“Henry Brooks,” he says without moving.\n\n“People believe you did a ton of terrible things, Mr. Brooks,” I said calmly.\n\nHe looks up at me rapidly and stares at me, his brown eyes are large. “I did NOTHING,” he yells at me. His eyes do not move from mine. I begin to noticeably sweat. Nothing about this man seems funny. He alone is putting the fear of God in me. \n\n“It’s those people who are wrong,” his voice lowers and takes almost a shameful tone. He looks back down at the table. “Those people just couldn’t accept it.”\n\n“Those people can’t accept laughter!” I exclaim, trying to take the offensive. He won’t bully me. “Everyone knows laughter kills people.”\n\n“I am not a funny man, detective. I never tried to be.”\n\n“Then how do you explain all of these murders?”\n\nHe begins to sob. I can hear the sporadic breaths coming from behind the mask.\n\n“Those innocent people were just at the weekly service or trying to better themselves. It doesn’t matter if you think you are funny. They are dead because of you!” \n\nHe rapidly looks at me again. His eyes are glistening with tears but his tone changed drastically. “They are NOT innocent people. They all preach of acceptance, and then they LAUGH.”\n\n“So you attack those people because of your ideals? Is that it? They can’t accept you so you make them laugh?!”\n“I have never tried to make anyone laugh, detective.” He looks back at the table again. The sobbing begins. This time it’s an overwhelming sob and he brings his covered hands to his mask to hide the tears. Suddenly, he rips off his mask and slams it on the metal table, breaking the mask.\n\nTo my disbelief, Henry Brooks is black. He has dark, short hair, a decently kept beard. Tears are rolling down his face and his lips are quivering. Through the sharp breaths he exclaims, “I didn’t ask to be the way that I am!”\nThere hasn’t been a person of color in this community in over fifty years. He kept talking, but it was hardly registering. I just stared at him in disbelief with my jaw hanging. Rustling can be heard on the other side of the one way mirror. Both of this man’s parents were white. \n\n“After the hospital incident a quarter century ago, I was discarded by the hospital to hide what had happened. They made it seem as if someone had killed my family and the medical staff and kidnapped me. I was raised by a foster family in secret. I was never allowed to leave our house, go to school, or be with kids my age. I was raised at a distance. My foster family did not love me. As I became older, I left and began to investigate. My mother was in finance and traveled for work to another city very frequently. Apparently, I was the bastard child of my mother’s affair with a black man there. Upon this discovery, I began to figure out what had happened. My mother’s family and my father’s family both laughed at my father for being so pathetic that my mother had to find love else where. And in my father’s embarrassment, killed my mother and then himself. If they saw me as shameful, then everyone would. So I made this mask for myself. I attempted to seek refuge in places that claimed to be the most accepting in the community. However, when I revealed myself and my story, I was laughed at. People could not accept who I was as a person. After the third incident I went into hiding until you found me. I became a wanderer and only would leave that god forsaken house you found me in at night to find food.”\n\nHis hands were fists now, tears streaming off his face and onto the ground. \n\n“Don’t you see? I did nothing to those people. They LAUGHED at me. I am NOT funny, detective. How can I live when people don’t accept me?! How can people like me grow up and succeed in a world where people can’t accept the situation I was born with?”\n\nThrough the tears, he began to smile.\n\n“I was excluded from any possibility of having a life. And the only people that could help treated me like a literal joke. But the joke’s on them! That’s truly what is funny, detective. They died as intolerant fools who can’t see past a situation or a complexion! They are living a JOKE and that is FUNNY. “\n\nHe began to chuckle. I was still frozen in my seat. “I never meant to hurt anyone, detective. I was just looking for a place to exist as a normal person.” The laughter begins to get louder and then suddenly it stops. Henry Brooks suddenly slumps in his chair, dead, staring at me with a massive grin. I sit in the deafening silence of the interrogation room for what seems like an eternity. How can I feel at ease when what we perceived as tragedies was really just a man looking to be accepted and that he never found that acceptance? \n", "\"It's the Jester alright.\" I proclaimed, rising from my squat as I stared upon the harrowing grins left on the deceased victims, their eyes livid with terror and their grin out of place, bodies contorted into obscene positions from the laughter's convulsions.\n\nI pull away my cigarette and let loose a puff of smoke as I contemplated the evidence.\n\n\"Its not use officer, how do you find a murder victim when there is none? He may as well have just killed them with his mind.\"\n\nI rubbed the stubble on my chin. \"Get me the file on the victims, what is their background?\"\n\nA female officer handed me a file containing the information on booth victims.\n\n\"Same as usual, depressed individuals with nothing to look forward to. Probably some sick sense of good is driving the killer, trying to bring happiness into their life.\"\n\n\"He must be a comedic genius... we haven't seen work like this since Crazed Louis and Loonie Chappele.\" I stared back down at the dead corpses, their limbs contorted into bizarre angles, their feverous eyes staring pleadingly back at me. The agony they must have felt. A rare sense of guilt drifted over me.\n\n\"I must be getting old.\" I murmured to myself.\n\n\"Cap'n?\"\n\n\"It was nothing.\" I said somberly. \"Five years it's been that I have just been trying to catch this guy. I am just getting tired you know?\" I pinched the bridge of my nose and squeezed shut tired eyes. The images of all the 'Jesters' victims coming to me in one sudden flash. All of them the same, pleading and desperate eyes contrasted by the inimical grins which they wore. The jokes of the Jester tugging on the maddening strings of humor within ones psyche, letting the fatal urges take over ones lips.\n\n\"You okay Cap'n?\"\n\n\"Ye- yeah, just getting old, you know? I- uhh, gonna get some rest.\" A weary blanket of exhaustion flooded over me as I stared into the swirl of my vending machine cappuccino before downing it.\n\n\"I will just meet you all back at the precinct.\" I said and stumbled back out into the chilling night, my feet leaving their marks among the pavement snow as I returned to my car.\n\nA sigh escaped my lips as I placed my forehead against the support of the steering wheel.\n\n\"You look pretty tired officer, perhaps we should do something about that?\" I had no time to react to the voice which came from my back seats as a hand swiftly covered my mouth, I could only watch from the rear-view mirror upon the mask which the Jester dawned. Made of porcelain as white as snow and sporting a long and wide grin akin to those of victims laughing themselves into their grave as the world went black.\n\n", "Paul McKinney pulls the squad car in front of the old theater on Oxnard Boulevard. Everyone knows where he lives. It's just that no one wants to see him. But McKinney is taking him in. He can't allow this monster on the street one moment longer. \n\n“Good evening, officer! It's so wonderful to see you. I so rarely get visitors,” Alex Montgomery says from atop the stage at the far end of the theater. He's standing in his boxers and a wife beater. He has arranged a basic living area onstage and was watching TV when Officer McKinney arrived. Despite barely being dressed, he's still wearing his makeup. He reaches over to his nightstand and puts on his clown nose. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Alex says before squeaking his clown nose. \n\n“You're under arrest. Come down from there.”\n\nAlex begins flitting about the stage dramatically. “Under arrest? Oh, heavens! Oh, heathens! Is this the day that the hand of justice shall rein me in? Say it isn’t so. Tell me, please, no. They say that I'm a evil man but I'm a clown! I clown around.” Alex drops to his hands and knees. “I hound around,” he says as he sniffs the air. “Hilarity abounds when I'm around. Last week, I snuck into a church and I killed. It was a funeral so it was completely appropriate but I just couldn't help it. It's who I am. I'm a funny man. I'm a funny guy.” Alex adopts a feminine facade. “I'm a funny gal too if you’re the right fella. And Mr. Officer, man, you sure are handsome. You know, I always was dependent on the kindness of strangers. And strangers do not make strange bedfellows if you get what I'm saying, Mr. Man In Blue. Speaking of blue, why you so sad, Mr. Man? Don't I make you happy? Don't I make you smile?”\n\n“I'm not going to tell you again. Come down from there.”\n\n“Come down? I can't come down. I'm up. That's the secret to my success. I'm never down. I'm up in the clouds. I’m up in the boughs. I could be up in your house. Is there a Mrs. Man In Blue?” Alex looks around conspiratorially. “And does she have a penis?”\n\nOfficer McKinney pulls his taser from his belt. “Come down now or I will have to use the appropriate force.”\n\n“Okay, okay!” Alex says with his hands in the air as he walks to the stairs at the end of the stage. “You don't have to force me to do anything. I'm a willing participant, believe me.” As he reaches the steps, he continues,” You know, I once met a talking horse in Kentucky. I was simply flabbergasted. A talking horse? Of all things. I said “Wow, I've never met a talking horse before.” Then he tried to mount me and I said...” Alex yells “Whoa!” as he falls down the stairs. \n\nOfficer McKinney walks towards the stage and maintains his distance from Alex. “Stand up.”\n\n“I need a doctor,” Alex says as he lays on the floor.\n\n“No you don't. You're fine. Get up.”\n\n“I need an ambulance.”\n\n“You're fine. Get up. If I have to say it again, I will tase you.”\n\n“But I think I broke something.”\n\n“What? What did you break?”\n\n“I didn't break it. You did. My heart. Why are you so mean? I'm trying to fill the world with laughter.”\n\nOfficer McKinney points the taser at Alex. “Get up now! This is your last warning.”\n\nAlex’s face get serious for a moment before he puts a devilish smile on his face. “Go ahead. I think I can get some laughs out of this.”\n\nOfficer McKinney pulls the trigger and 50000 volts are sent into Alex's body. \n\nAlex's body writhes in pain. Officer McKinney holds down the trigger for 3 seconds before letting go. “Are you going to comply now?”\n\nAlex’s body continues writhing. Officer McKinney double-checks that he has let go of the trigger and that it's not stuck. Alex continues writhing in pain. “Please stop! I can’t take it!” Alex says. Officer McKinney isn't sure how Alex could still be getting electrocuted. He touches the wire. There's no charge. \n\nAlex starts shaking even more dramatically now. “Oh, no!” Alex says as he urinates in his boxers. Alex stops shaking, smiles and looks directly at Officer McKinney. “Uh oh, mama! Baby made a boo boo!”\n\n“Enough of this shit!” Office in McKinney says as he pushes Alex onto his stomach and starts to handcuff him. \n\n“Uh oh! Mama used a bad word! I’ma tell Dada!”\n\nOfficer McKinney pulls Alex onto his feet. “Mama, I don't think Dada loves me. He hit me in my no no place. I love you, Mama.”\n\n“Enough! Alex Montgomery, you are under arrest for violating the Hilarity Act of 1927.” Officer McKinney continue reading his Miranda Rights as he marches him to the door. \n\nJust as they're about to exit the building,“ Wait, wait. With all seriousness. I need to get something before we leave. It's a medical emergency!”\n\n“What? What do you need?”\n\n“Sunscreen. I hear it's going to be a very sunny day.”\n\nMcKinney pushes Alex through the doors. “Oh my God! I'm probably going to get a sunburn now. And I don't have health insurance! Thanks, Obama.”\n\n“Be quiet. I don't think you're funny and I'm not going to laugh.”\n\nAll of the energy and life drains from Alex's face. “Really? Wow. Okay. I'm sorry. I guess it's just a habit. Go ahead and take me to jail.”\n\nThroughout the car ride to the station, Alex sits in the back completely dejected and depressed. \n\nOfficer McKinney feels bad for him And finally says,“ Why did you do it? All those people?”\n\n“Do you know why I became a clown?”\n\nOfficer McKinney shakes his head. \n\n“When I was younger, my mom had this collection of clown figurines. They were all over the place. You couldn't walk anywhere in our house without seeing one of them. Well, one day, my little brother. . . Now if you think I'm bad, you should see him. I might have a lot of energy but he is an atom bomb full of energy. I don't know if it was the sugar. Or maybe he was off his meds. But he goes running through the house, grabbing every single figurine and smashing them on the ground. Every single one in the house was ruined. Destroyed.”\n\n\n“So, anyways, my mom comes home and she is furious. We're hiding in our tree house and she has never been in there but she specifically climbed up there just because of how mad she was. My little brother was terrified. He thought she was going to kill him. And I wanted to be the good big brother, you know? Protect my little brother. So she gets up there and she start screaming at us, ‘What the hell did you do? Who did this? Do you have any idea what you've done? That collection meant everything to me. Why do you two have to ruin everything? ’”\n\n“Well, like I said, I wanted to protect my little brother so I looked my mom right in the eyes and I told her,“ You know what, Mom?”\n\n“And she says, ‘What? ’ like she is going to smack me to death if I say the wrong thing.”\n\n“And I told her, ‘Mom, I just want to tell you…’” Alex leans to the side and farts. “She was so surprised. She lost her footing, fell and broke her neck.”\n\nOfficer McKinney looks Alex dead serious in the rearview mirror for a second then bursts into laughter. “You’re so fucking ridiculous.”\n\nAlex smiles and puts his seat belt on. Right before the car crashes into an oncoming vehicle, yells out,”Thanks, Obama!”\n\n\n\n\n\n\n" ]	[ 1, 1, 3, 5, 41 ]	[ "1505490940", "1505490940", "1505530692", "1505503307", "1505502567" ]
The king sends his goons, the rebels send their troops, it comes to several fights when the meet at the protagonists doorstep. Stakes are raised, reinforcements arrive, sidekicks are introduced trying to convince our hero that he must begin his journey for adventure: the jokster, the wise magician, a brave warrior, all killed of when trying to defend the self-aware protagonist, until the evil king personally comes to the house, where he's killed by the protagonist accidentaly opening the door in his face, driving his drawn sword through his chest. The prophecy is fullfilled.	[WP] "Chosen One" decides to just stay home after finding out about a prophecy saying he will slay the evil king.	9	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "This post has been removed. Prompt details go in the title. Please review the sidebar before posting." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1505500828", "1505500853" ]
[removed]	[WP] Tidal Trouble	1	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nPrompts go in the title. You can add more in the text, but avoid [too many details](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/prompts?src=RECIPE). You wrote a prompt in the text, but then gave a title for it. \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/70jcgf/wp_tidal_trouble/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1505595399", "1505595448" ]
[removed]	[WP] The devil will take anything in exchange for his services, including souls. Money, health, your first newborn... but even he was surprised by what you were offering that he was lost for words.	1	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nResponses must be at least 30 words. Prompts that are likely to generate such responses are also not allowed. This is essentially a fill-in-the-blank, or you asked a question likely to generate a simple answer. Prompts should encourage a story or poem. \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/70jna7/wp_the_devil_will_take_anything_in_exchange_for/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1505598742", "1505598772" ]
	[WP] You are a super hero with the power to control bananas.	4	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "banana babies! — RISE!!\n\n>bananas swell at his feet. attaching themselves to him in a megazord-like fashion.\n\ngood. now, we fly!\n\n>racing through the city streets, BANANA-MAN, \"Dole-s\" out banana justice from above\n\nYou! How dare you?! When was the last time YOU CALLED YOUR MOTHERR?!!\n\n>He said heaving a banana henceforthwardwith\n\now\n\n> the splattered banana drops to reveal the evildoer's face\n\nMango-Man?!!!?!\n\n> (triple gasp)\n\n#Ha HA! yes it is I mango-man\n\n> mango-man's booming voice, known to charm the peel off a banana, charms the peel off of banana-man\n\nno! my power!\n\n> yes, his power (is gone)\n\n#now banana-man, i've run out of ideas?\n\nhuh?\n\nTHE END" ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1505697423", "1505703988" ]
[removed]	[WP] Reddit users become victims of their own intrusive thoughts	1	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nYour post includes too many details to be considered a prompt. It has become a story commission, which is not allowed. Prompts are meant to inspire users to write their own work, not write something for you. \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/70salg/wp_reddit_users_become_victims_of_their_own/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1505703873", "1505704713" ]
[deleted]	[WP] You are an astronaut who is part of the first mission to Mars. As you are flying out in space, you see the earth exploding.	2	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "So I guess you are all wondering why I've gathered you here, well it's time to tell you the real reason NASA suddenly put billions of dollars twords reaching Mars. 3 years 2 moths and 9 days ago scientists discovered 15 bursts of radio waves, I assume you all remember that day. Well the brains at NASA put everything they had into figuring out of they meant anything and after 6 months of trying simulations and translators they made a horrific discovery. \n\nContained in the radio waves was an incredible amount of data that was in English. It told a wonderful story of how their race discovered earth and have been watching over it ever since waiting patiently until we were ready to accept them. After their story came the blueprints for storing enough water and food for a trip to Mars and an apology. They believed they were the only life in the universe so they did not focus on weaponry, but what they had made the Tsar Bomb look like a sneeze. They were attacked by a new race, one that destroyed their colony's and found information about our world and is on their way now. The nameless race gave us this information as well as one last bit. There was a missle headed to our planet, one that would leave nothing but dust. \n\nSo now ladies and gentlemen if you all would look out the windows over here we are witnessing the end of the world." ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1505719759", "1505729703" ]
	[WP] As part of an April Fools joke, the government announces that something common and mundane has been "outlawed" country-wide. The police force in one town didn't get the memo and decide to start cracking down.	95	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Day two, doesn't seem like these civilians understand the concept, fidget spinners are not allowed anymore. I don't care if you got ADHD, LSAT, or even MSNBC, we cannot allow it. We were driving past, on the look out for fidget felons, and lo and behold if I don't see some snot nosed kid spinning that illegal gadget around like he doesn't respect us at all. He's like thirteen or whatever, but in this country what does that mean anymore? Kids his age doing online college and writing they college theories, while I'm trying to keep the law in check. \n\n\"You read the paper son? That right there, is as illegal as heroin, but even worse. You think it's some kinda safety thing, but it's not. Chief told me there's something real wrong with it. I'm going to ask you to put it down, slowly,\" I said.\n\nThe kid just looked at me, and made one of those, tongue noises to simulate a fart. Now, I'm an honest and God fearing man, but that kind of disrespect is very painful to endure. Being ridiculed in front of my partner makes me feel like less a man. I raised my weapon at him, letting him know we aren't in the jokin around avenue. He just kept spinnin it, like he wanted to push me over the edge, wanted to see me snap. I was lost in my own head contemplatenalizing this kids sickening motives for what he doin. My partner had already apprehended and arrested the suspect, he reached for the fidget spinner.\n\n\"Stop, you need gloves. Do not touch that with your bare hands,\" I warned.\n\nHe sighed. Got him some gloves and picked up the device, then placed it on the ground. We went about a good ole curb stompin, reducing that fidget spinner to dust. \n\n\"Do you guys have so little to do that you harass teenagers over fidget spinners? Yall askin for a law suit sandwich,\" remarked the uncouth individual.\n\n\"Not even close, you are a pre-teen, don't try and raise your age to get outta this, it's illegal at all ages, even death,\" I replied.\n\nWe let the little kid scamper off, another potential criminal set straight as a very well drawn line. It had been a long day at work, I went back home to enjoy some comfortable lawn mowering and a cold one. As I revved ole Bickley up, I looked into the window, and saw my very own daughter, playing with a fidget spinner. I ran as fast as I could, but it was too late. I saw them use one of them mini battering rams on my front door, and pistol whip her into a coma. \n\n\"This kind of filth goes on in your house Paylor? You better cuff her, before I do. You bring this scum in, and you accept the responsibilities,\" said the Chief.\n\nIt brought a tear to my eye, but I gave up my troublemaker daughter for adoption later that day even though she was a bit unconscious, clearly I just didn't bring the sense of law and righteousness to her at all. I hope she's better off, I'm feelin so low. In all that commotion I sit here alone, and her little contraption is layin on the floor. Nobodies lookin, I guess I could see what all the huffaluhoof is about, just for a little bit. I spun the thing and gazed in wonder. No wonder it's illegal, it's a mystifying and carthartic trip into my own subconscious. I heard the gun shots, and saw my partner standing over me.\n\n\"I understand, I was a weak man, you did what you had to do, keep my daughter away from these damn fidget spi--\"", "I heaved and wheezed almost tripping on my shoes three sizes too big, coughing up the asphalt dust shaken in my wake. I zipped up my gray hoodie, quickly rolling into the next corner and slapping hands with an individual in the same clothes, same hairstyle, same sickly pale skin before watching him run off ahead at a similar enough pace. With my hands in my pocket I leaned nonchalantly onto the corner and saw the Fuzzies chasing me down run ahead to pursue one of my \"doubles\". I sighed thinking Rick was a good guy, he didn't deserve this. But he was a true believer to the cause, and despite my urging insisted it was his turn and it wouldn't be right for him to refuse after all the others who helped pull the same ploy. I started walking as calmly as I could farther into the darkness, even as I heard the tackling thud, and electric charge of the Fuzzies catching up to their suspect. I gritted my teeth, apologizing to him and all the others, I don't know why this had to happen, or how I had gotten this far and become this dangerous but I swear I was going to fix it! Things were going to change, they had to. \n\n\"Stop right there White!\"\n\nMy eyes widened in shock as I saw at least two of those damned Fuzzies staring me down. I tried to stupidly take a step back only to hear the click of a guns safety turn from behind me, with a quick glance I saw three bodies all with guns ablazing, aimed straight at my chest, they could at least consider a warning shot or a leg wound. \"I already told you assholes! First name first, and it's Daniel. I would also accept Dan, Don, Disaster Dan, Danny Boy, Dan-yell, on Sunday nights Danielle...\" \n\nPCH-PSHEW!\n\n\"Consider that a warning shot White.\" \n\n\"Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw...you can be nice! How lovely.\"\n\nOne of the Fuzzies walked forward and gestured out to me. \"The bag son, all we want is what's in the bag. Just toss it over and-\"\n\n\"Bullllshit you just want the bag! C'mon guys, you don't have to lie to me, I thought we were friends.\"\n\n\"Enough of your games White! You know what you've done, what you continue to do! You know the punishment! However, we're still If you give up and rat out your buddies, maybe we can work out some type of deal.\"\n\nI rolled my eyes, \"Not gonna spew your Miranda bullcrap? I can sue you for that. Save the interrogation for later, though I think we both know I'm not talking.\"\n\nAs I had been a bit deep in conversation with my fellow man, I hadn't noticed when one of those lint-ball Fuzzies placed their gun straight to my head, getting a little close and personal in the process. \"This isn't an arrest, nor will there be an interrogation or a trial. We in the force would call this a private execution, and a transference of power and funds.\" \n\n\"Oh, is that all.\" This was quite possibly a worst case scenario, jail was one thing, once this stupid law passed I'd probably get acquitted and due to the many, MANY, stupidities founded by this abrupt act I was almost certain as soon as the business down here got to Washington the entire force would be shut down. However I did not count on corrupt cops, looking to get a piece of my unfortunately lucrative business. I didn't know if all this was worth death, but I'll be damned if I give anything to these idiots!\n\n\"Pass the bag, we'll talk a little, and then you just might get away. As long as you stay out of our way, we'll have no reason to come back after you. Or die here, we'll take your goods, and eventually find out where you're getting it.\" \n\nI sighed, slowly taking off my pack, ready to hand over my secrets and my dignity, but before doing so, I thought I'd show them a little trick I'd been working on. \"Fine, fine! You got me good! Let me get it out for you.\" \n\nThe cop smiled cruelly and took a step back, pointing his gun down and crossing his arms in satisfaction. I also heard one of the cops muffle to another, \"Danielle?\" I thought I recognized one of them...I slowly pulled out two flashlight sized containers, camo green, with a black handle. It was the Fuzzies turn to be surprised, he quickly put his gun back up but not before I pulled the handles letting white gas quickly flood the area, I heard gunshots and fled and waited.\n *** \n\"He's gone Mccoy, must have ran straight past us.\"\n\n\"Dammit! How's Ron?\"\n\n\"Anyone with two shots in the crotch ain't doing well, but he'll survive. On the bright side, looks like White forgot something.\" They kicked the pack open, wary of any other surprises and saw the plastic bag filled with a white powder lazily loll out. Mccoy opened it up, fingering the edge and tasted it in his mouth, smacking his lips in pleasure. \"C12H22O11, 100 percent disaccharided glucose and fructose. Haha! Haven't had a hit of the stuff for days! Makes a man go crazy ya know!\"\n\n\"C'mon now don't sip up all the product Mccoy! This stuff is practically gold since the Sinful Sugars Act. No wonder White was making a fortune, can't stop humans base urges, man will always find a way you know.\" \n\nThe four dispersed, one of them dragging the crying Ron as far away from the area before alerting the rest of the squad of their version of the situation. It was five hours later, when swabs and pictures were taken and the area was closed off I felt a kick to my side. \n\n\"Get up asshole!\"\n\n\"Ow!\" I turned over from next to the alley's dumpster uncovering myself with the trash bag I had rolled myself in after crouching into as small a ball as possible. \"What the hell Tiffany!\" I swear to god she's been the bane of my existence since this stupid act passed. \n\nShe grabbed onto my collar, pushing me against the wall, \"Where's the stuff asswipe! Wheres the goddamned sugar!\" \n\nI pushed her off and wiped myself off, little bits of grime still stuck to me and I checked my wrist where I think a rat bit into me. Apparently I tasted a lot worse than my product cause he didn't finish me off. Not hard to believe that my manager was meaner than the rat. \"God woman! I suppose you know what happened to the baggie, or else you wouldn't be here to pick me up.\" She fumed and huffed which I took to mean I was correct. \n\n\"They took Rick! You know what they'll do to him, and all for what! We didn't get anything, and it's all your fault.\" \n\n\"Tsk tsk, you should know me better than that.\" I smiled taking off my shoes and saw Tiffany frown in confusion wiping away a tear. I pulled out the two bags stuffed in the toe and that had laid under my heel in one of the shoes, and the other two in the other shoe. Overall it was at least three times more product than what the Fuzzies had gotten their hands on. We still lost some, and we still lost Rick, but I was hopeful to get him back one day. Tiffany still wasn't happy, and neither was I, but this should be enough to bribe the Gunsdealer in New Market square. It was time to face it, it would probably be months, maybe years before anyone important started caring about this hopunk town, we had to take action to make the change we all desperately needed, it was time to start, Operation: Sugar Rush.", "I wander through the aisles, trying to check off the last few items on my list.\n\nPie crust? Check.\n\nCondensed milk? Check.\n\nKey limes? Check.\n\nNow just to pick up some eggs and I can get home to start our Anniversary dinner.\n\nMy mind wanders as I grab a carton of eggs and head toward the check out lines. Thankfully, he enjoys pie just as much as I do. I just hope he doesn't try to shove it in my face like last year. It is April Fool's Day, after all. Of all days to have an anniversary.\n\nThe check out girl grabs my attention. The grimace on her face forebodes the interaction I'm about to have. \n\n\"Good morning!\" I chirp trying to crack a smile on her face.\n\nShe barks back a rather apathetic hello.\n\nHer contemptuous attitude shuts up my desire to make small talk. Instead I let her ring up my items in peace hoping to speed things along.\n\nI swipe my credit card after she scans the last item and wait for it to be approved. She hands me my receipt and turns to her smart phone hiding next to the register. I get that this is the \"digital age\" and all, but is she really that rude she can't even bag my groceries for me?\n\n\"Um... excuse me?\"\n\n\"Yes?\"\n\n\"Aren't you forgetting something?\"\n\n\"No,\" she objected, \"plastic bags are illegal now. So unless you have some reusable ones, you can take your groceries now.\"\n\nCompletely dumbfounded, I quickly throw my goods into the cart and rush over to the Customer Service desk to ask for a manager.\n\nAs I wait, my fuming attitude begins to dissipate. I notice every single check out line has no bags. I walk away towards my car outside.\n\nMy car starts up in time to catch the news broadcast over the radio: \"All plastic bags are now outlawed. President Trump enacted a new initiative today to combat Katy Perry syndrome. A syndrome that exhibits feelings similar to that of a plastic bag drifting through the wind wanting to start again.\"", "In the small town of Alton, Illinois\n\nthe Sheriff's a drunk. A dumb boy.\n\nWhen word came down\n\nfrom the men in black gowns\n\nhe knew just what to do.\n\nIf the law proclaim it, then it must be done.\n\nHe gathered his men, his dogs, his gun.\n\nPepper spray, vests, cars, batons\n\nRiot shields, helmets, air horns, and cuffs.\n\nSurveillance was set up all over the streets.\n\nThrough the windows the police did peep.\n\nWhen they saw you with only one hand on your cup\n\nThe law says TWO HANDS\n\nBANG BANG\n\nPOP POP", "\"I'm sorry, what?\" Jill asked.\n\n\"GET OUT OF THE CAR NOW!\" Officer Bradley screamed at her, drawing his pistol from the holster and holding it across his vest. With his other hand he'd reached out and was pulling on her door handle. \n\n\"Is this a jok...\" She started to ask, right before a large hand closed around her shirt collar and yanked her from the car in one powerful movement. She sprawled out onto the ground and immediately felt the officers knee pressed hard into her back. \n\n\"1019 I'VE GOT ONE IN CUSTODY SIGNAL 3!\" the officer said following a chirping noise. Jill figured it must be his radio microphone. \n\n\"What.....what did...what did..?\" She struggled to get the words out as her arms pinched together in a metallic embrace. \n\n\"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law....\" The cops voice was robotic, flat. He had given this speech many times before. \"You have the right to have an attorney present with you during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed for you. You can answer questions now, and stop answering at any time. Do you understand your rights as I have explained them to you.\"\n\n\"I didn't do anything!\" Jill exclaimed. \n\n\"Having been advised of your miranda rights, Do you wish to answer questions or make a statement at this time?\" \n\n\"WHAT AM I BEING ARRESTED FOR?\" Jill shrieked. \n\n\"Maim were you just operating that vehicle?\" The cop asked.\n\n\"YES! You just ripped me out of it!\" \n\n\"And you are classified as caucasian?\" He continued.\n\n\"YES!\" She screamed \"I'm irish!\"\n\n\"What is your height and weight?\" The cop forged ahead.\n\n\"What?\" Jill was perplexed. \n\n\"WHAT IS YOUR HEIGHT AND WEIGHT YOU PIECE OF SHIT?\" the cop bellowed.\n\nJill burst into tears of anguish, of anger. \"I'm 5'5\" and 220 lbs\" she eventually answered. \n\n\"That's what I thought.\" He chided. \"You're being charged with executive action 1-J. Driving while white and fat, class 5 felony.\" \n\n\"What did you say to me?\" Jill cried. A dawning sense of dread sweat over her. It was coming true. Her fears, her insecurities. It was all coming to pass after all. \n\n\"I'm guessing you didn't read president Trump's tweet that fat white ladies driving in the passing lane is now a felony? Is that your excuse?\"\n\n\n" ]	[ 1, 1, 1, 8, 9, 38 ]	[ "1505730553", "1505773835", "1505855616", "1505756660", "1505749930", "1505749425" ]
	[WP] Your job is to resolve dying people's biggest regrets. They are usually simple requests, but this request is much more bizarre.	15	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\"He's in Room 5B, Peter Linkin 67 years old, Brain Tumor.\" \n\nPeter laid there staring at a rerun of Judge Judy, I cleared my throat and made my entrance. \"Peter, my name's Thomas. The nurse must have already briefed you on what I do. I'll be taking care of your final requests.\" He looked wide eyed, \"Like a Genie?\" God. \"No not like a Genie, I'll be handling any final matters you wish to be taken care of. Any regrets, house work, phone calls, hard drive clean ups...\" I said. \"So this means I'm dying?\" Peter asked. \"It does. But, our job is to help you pass peacefully. We try to avoid people haunting others, it means we didn't do the job right.\" I replied. \"There is one thing I've been longing for. He's imprisoned right now, and it's all my fault. I need you to break him out, and while you're there I need you to open everyone else's cell too.\" Peter started scribbling down an address. \"Sir, it can't be anything illegal.\" \"But alas you said and I quote, \"anything.\" Peter's shaky hand reached over a crumpled napkin with the address. \"I'll have to send an intern, they're less liable.\" I walked out of the room, and left the dying man with his shows. \n\nLater on after passing the address to our intern Kyle, I received a phone call from him. \"Kyle, is the job complete. Did you let all the inmates out?\" I asked. \"Inmates? It wasn't a Prison it's a Dog Shelter...and yes I ran in and pressed the red button that said, \"release.\" I paused. \"A dog shelter? The man wanted to set dogs free?\" \"Yes and I'm severely allergic, so can I go now?\" Kyle whined. " ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1505745663", "1505831708" ]
	[WP] You are an Urban Druid. Your power lies in the moss in the cracks, the rats in the alleys, and the flowers and grasses that bravely breach the pavement.	157	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "People often come to me for help. I've been called a witch, which isn't entirely inaccurate, but in this day and age, burning people alive is frowned upon, and science is regarded as the greatest truth. The ones who do believe, though, know I would do no harm. They ask me for things; sometimes knowledge, sometimes protection, sometimes potions or pastes, balms or brews.\n\nMy most frequent client is a woman named Sandra, who's practiced Wicca since she was a young girl. She could never actually do any magic, but that hasn't hindered her belief one iota, and I respect her greatly for that. She is logical, levelheaded, and doesn't believe in coincidences. So when a relative died and left her a supposedly cursed statue to protect, she locked it in an iron box lined with salt.\n\nUnfortunately, a few days later, her home was broken into, and the thieves had taken her TV, laptop, and the box.\n\n\"They probably thought it was a safe, but didn't want to spend more time in my house than they had to, so they took the whole thing and ran, so they could open it later,\" she'd explained.\n\nThe statue turned up in a pawn shop two weeks later, and was returned to her by the police since she'd reported it missing. But it was too late for the thieves--one by one, the three of them turned up dead. Murdered, the police said, but they couldn't figure out by whom. Sandra, however, knew perfectly well.\n\nOnce she'd put the statue back into another protective box, this time with sigils to ward against evil both human and otherwise, she came to me.\n\n\"This thing has killed people,\" she told me. \"And I don't think keeping it locked up is a possible solution.\"\n\n\"What do you think I can do about it?\" I asked. \"I don't exactly have any hidden warehouses to store supernatural artifacts.\"\n\n\"Well that wouldn't be a bad idea, but let's put that on the back burner for now. We need to destroy whatever spirit inhabits that statue.\"\n\nI blinked at her. \"Sandra, I don't think you understand how my powers work. I draw life from the life around me. I am strengthened by the hum of a city, emboldened by the courage of street cats stealing food from dumpsters. I bask in the warmth of streetlights the way plants bask in the sun. I don't kill.\"\n\n\"I figure you can make an exception for this,\" she said stubbornly, jaw set. When I sighed, she leaned in. \"I did some research. Anyone who's ever had this thing for longer than two days, and didn't have protection from it, die horribly. Mutilated beyond recognition. This statue is hundreds of years old, and it has the body count to match.\"\n\n\"Exactly,\" I replied calmly. \"So what makes you think I'm capable of getting rid of an entity that old and powerful?\"\n\n\"Bianca, I've seen you cure illnesses. I've seen you call dandelions up through the cracks in concrete. I've seen you literally glow when you meditate. I've seen you touch a dying tree and bring it back from the precipice of death and decay.\" She bit her lip. \"I don't think you even know how powerful you are.\"\n\n\"Sandra,\" I sighed, but her eyebrows rose in a silent challenge. I dare you to tell me I'm wrong, she said without words. My shoulders slumped, and she smiled brightly. \"Fine,\" I said, though the admission of defeat was unnecessary. \"I'll see what I can do.\"\n\n--\n\nThe summoning ritual was fairly simple, and Sandra completed it with the help of a moonstone I charged with the energy of patrons of a sports bar celebrating a victory. The entity rose from its shell and gave a sigh that made the floor shake.\n\n\"My dears,\" the shadow-creature said. \"You must know what a terrible mistake you've made.\"\n\n\"I know my friend here's about to kick your ass!\" Sandra shouted. I closed my eyes in frustration and looked at the being, contained within the summoning circle drawn on the floor.\n\n\"I know your name, demon,\" I told it. \"And I know how you kill.\"\n\n\"Well that's fascinating, honestly, but I don't particularly care.\" I kept my face blank, but this reaction surprised me. Demons could be controlled if you knew their name. So why wasn't this one yet cowed?\n\n\"Apollyon!\" I commanded, and the being smirked. Without a mouth. Somehow. \"I command you to kneel.\"\n\n\"No dice, sweetheart,\" it mocked.\n\nI held my head high. \"You are no demon.\"\n\n\"Correct.\"\n\n\"Then you are a spirit.\"\n\n\"Mhmm.\"\n\nI smiled. \"I've banished plenty of spirits in my time.\"\n\n\"Oh, and what time is that? About thirty years?\"\n\n\"She's 32,\" Sandra corrected in a manner I'm sure she thought was intimidating. \"And I've seen her do some seriously awesome shit.\"\n\n\"Oh my, how frightening!\" the spirit responded.\n\nI drew myself up to my full height. \"Spirit,\" I commanded once more.\n\n\"Can I help you?\" it replied, mocking me once more.\n\n\"You can die,\" I spat. I threw my arms wide and closed my eyes, focusing on the feel of my surroundings. Rats scampered in the sewers beneath my feet, birds built nests on the power lines outside. A couple reunited at a restaurant down the street, and cell towers relayed information faster than you could blink. Moss clung to the stone steps of a century-old building, homeless cats fought in an alley, car engines sprang to life, and I drank the energy in. This was life. The survival of the rats despite floods and traps and poison, of the birds despite the lack of trees. The unfathomable and uncontainable joy of seeing a loved one again. The speed and power of human manipulation of waves of every spectrum. The stubbornness of moss in July, the instinct of wild animals, the ignition of an engine. This was life, and it was all around me.\n\nAnd I would not let death come to my home.\n\nI drank it all in, then condensed it. I opened my eyes, barely registering the fact that I was, as my friend put it, literally glowing, and shot pure life energy into the spirit in front of me. It hissed as my projectile hit it in its center, then screamed as I launched another, and another, and another. By the time the creature's darkness had been eradicated by my light, I was exhausted.\n\nMy knees wobbled and I fell to my knees. Sandra leaned down and placed a hand on my shoulder.\n\n\"Are you okay?\" she asked quietly, concern clear in her voice.\n\n\"Sandra,\" I whispered, and managed to raise my head and meet her gaze. \"That was fucking incredible. Do you have any more?\"", "At about thirteen minutes to midnight, Andrea switched off the TV and got up from the couch. Rubbing her eyes, she shuffled to the kitchen, where she had left a bowl of lasagna for her husband. An angry sound welled up in her throat when she saw two fat cockroaches perched on the porcelain rim. In a single motion, she grabbed the dish and hurled it into the bin.\n\nNo call, not even a text. Drinking with his buddies again, he had to be. Seething, Andrea went upstairs to bed.\n\nHer mounting anger kept sleep at bay though, and she tossed and turned fitfully. Without her husband's snores, every little noise was amplified, from the rustling of her sheets, to the creaking of the old tree in the yard, to the scrapes of little paws from the walls.\n\nAndrea bolted upright and tried to peer through the gloom at the source of that last noise. Rats? Oh God, Jacob had better deal with it by the weekend or she'd spend a couple of weeks at her sister's. When she lay back down, she pulled the covers snugly up to her neck.\n\nDespite that, the sound--and the images her mind showed her--caused her skin to itch everywhere. At first, she tried to ignore the tickling, but gave in at last and scratched her arm. Something was in the way though; something that her fingers crushed and smeared over her skin.\n\nAndrea yelped. At the same time, something smacked into her forehead, fell onto her lips, and took flight again, buzzing angrily. She screamed, tossed her blanket off, and reached for the light switch. Her hand met a cloud of light resistance on the way, and then brushed something furry sitting on the dresser just as she turned the light on.\n\nInstead of its usual, powerful yellow glow, the light flickered weakly, summoning forth shadows that danced erratically. Then her eyes adjusted to the gloom and the truth of it struck her; she was looking at a swarm of flies, thick as smog from a factory's smokestack.\n\nThen the large, black rats on the dresser, on the floor, and on her husband's side of the bed, went berserk and leaped onto her body, clawing and biting. Andrea tried to get up, but roaches trickled up her legs, under her gown, around her throat like a necklace. Spiders and centipedes wound between her toes, needling her with their fangs.\n\nThrough it all, she howled and howled, flailing to dislodge the mass. One of the rats sank its teeth into an eye, while bulbous flies dive-bombed the other. Unable to see where she was going, she banged her knees against the edge of the bed and fell to the floor.\n\nStill Andrea screamed, until the viper darted out from beneath the bed and plunged into her open mouth.\n\n*\n\nEveryone in the precinct knew Detective Magnus had seen a lot of craziness in his long career, so when Detective Chang heard that the veteran had thrown up after a visit to the crime scene, her curiosity became piqued like never before.\n\n\"Trust me, this one's bad,\" the officer on duty outside the house said. He was standing next to the sobbing husband of the vic, one Jacob Martinez, while his colleague was trying unsuccessfully to get answers.\n\n\"Yeah, I heard a bit. Infestation. Magnus around?\" Chang asked, glancing at the second floor window of the bedroom. A dark curtain appeared to have been drawn over the glass; strange, for wouldn't the afternoon light be appreciated?\n\n\"Nah, he'll be here in a bit.\" The officer handed her a small, plastic bucket. \"In case.\"\n\nShe snorted and walked past him. \"What am I, twelve?\"\n\nThe house was empty, so she proceed upstairs right away. The forensic guys had taken one look at the room and decided they needed more gear, and Chang found out first hand why when she opened the door.\n\nDespite all the warnings she'd gotten, nothing prepared her for the sight of the vermin-covered room. The curtains weren't drawn so much as a screen of moths was plastered against the glass. Rats and bugs carpeted the floor, congregating on the bloody mound that was the only remnant of the victim.\n\nWorst of all, everything seemed to slow for a moment when they noticed her presence. Then, in unison, they rushed toward her. Chang slammed the door shut and hurried away, gorge rising in her throat, half-expecting a tide of multi-legged creatures to spill out from the gap under the door.\n\nPerhaps it was more disquieting that they didn't.\n\nOnce she was back in the open, she leaned against the outside wall and gulped fresh air to replace the rank stench she'd carried in her nostrils from the room. A man with an overgrowth of facial hair approached her, smiling uneasily.\n\n\"Saw it too, huh?\"\n\n\"Jesus, Magnus. Think I owe you an apology,\" she said.\n\n\"Any word from the higher ups? Rogue magician, looks like.\"\n\n\"No clue. Walk with me, this place is giving me the creeps.\" The duo strolled away from the house toward where her car, parked across the street. She shuddered as she looked at the well-kept lawns and brightly colored houses in that part of the suburbs, and wondered if anyone knew what had happened to their neighbor.\n\n\"We requested some info, but the Department's a bit slow. Heard they had some trouble lately with that breakout from Rikers.\"\n\nMagnus shrugged and leaned against her car. \"Not our business, that. Nor this. Get one of their Guardian teams down here to clean up; I ain't putting our guys through this mess.\"\n\n\"Like I said, radio silence from them,\" she said. Opening a door, she reached for the coffee on her dashboard, but suddenly remembered an urban story about bugs being crushed in the grinder with the coffee beans, and changed her mind. \"We're on our own.\"\n\n\"Fine. Say we go after the perp. Where do we start?\"\n\n\"That, fortunately, might not be too hard, if you're a glass-half-full kinda person. We just need to guess who his next victim will be.\" She took a manila folder from the passenger seat and handed it to him. \"At least Mr. Martinez being an exterminator reinforces our theory.\"\n\nMagnus's eyebrows rose as he thumbed through the files inside. \"Ah. So were the last five victims.\"\n\n\"Mrs. Martinez is the only victim who isn't the actual exterminator though.\"\n\nHer colleague frowned. \"Change in MO? Or a mistake?\"\n\n\"We'll ask him when we catch him. See anything else in that file?\"\n\n\"Son of a bitch.\" Magnus pulled out a sheet printed with several addresses. \"How'd you come up with this hit list?\"\n\n\"They used to all work for the same company that went under about three years ago.\"\n\n\"We already knew this guy's a serial killer, but this ... holy hell, when's the last time Duluth had to deal with a magic-powered one?\"\n\nChang nodded grimly. \"Guess we're about to make history.\"\n\n\n\nThanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it! Check out my [sub](http://reddit.com/r/nonsenselocker) for more of my work. Chang, Magnus and the uh, verminomancer, will feature in other stories.*" ]	[ 1, 5, 19 ]	[ "1505774772", "1505818935", "1505804716" ]
Inspired by the ELI5 from earlier today	[WP] Patches of grass that have been cut by a lawn mower release a certain smell to warn other grass of the oncoming danger. You are a piece of grass who has just received this call to arms. Describe your experience.	26	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "It was a day like any other day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and Wesley (a blade of grass) was swaying in the cool summer breeze.\n\n\"Doo tee doo tee doo! What a wonderful day here on the lawn.\" said Wesley as he swayed back and forth. He was a fresh sod just like the rest of his patch and he was very happy with his plot in life. He grew up in a brand new garden with a view of the house and the flowers. As he gazed up at the clouds his serene moment was interrupted by an Ant barging through the crowd at full speed.\n\n\"Get your Kentucky Bluegrass out of the way!\" the Ant was yelling. Huffing and puffing air as charged through.\n\n\"Wonder what's up his gaster?\" blurted out another blade. \n\nJust then Wesley could hear the faint buzzing of a bee. He found it odd though as it was too early in the day for the bees to visit the flowers but figured the Ant must be running from them. As he sat and watched for the bees to fly over he took a [deep breath](https://imgur.com/gallery/DK20k) of that sweet summer air.\n\nAs the smell filled his little green nostrils [horror struck.](http://gph.is/13jIzuk) It was like his senses heightened because he could suddenly hear the bees getting louder and louder. A large shadow began to creep over Wesley's patch and he started to realize that it was not the bees he was hearing. It was a lawnmower. \n\nAll of the blades around him started to shit themselves. Literally shit themselves. Becoming too disgusting to eat was their only defense. As the lawnmower advanced towards Wesley he [clenched](https://i.imgur.com/egBhrLw.gif) for the impact.\n\nVrrrrrrmmmmm\n\nThe mower skimmed extremely close to Wesley but missed him by a single blade of grass. When the sound began to fade and he could muster the courage to look up... he saw pure carnage. Blades he had known since sprouts cut into pieces and tossed like mulch. The smell was overwhelming. He doubled over and began vomiting chlorophyll all over the dirt floor.\n\nJust as he was gaining his composure he could hear the sound coming back for another pass. He knew there was nothing he could do. He could shit himself a thousand times and it wouldn't help defend against cold hardened steel spinning at 2900rpm. He sucked up his chest, stood as tall as he could and [looked at the flowers](https://i.imgur.com/u7o2HVW.gif) one last time.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n" ]	[ 1, 8 ]	[ "1505783235", "1505783462" ]
	[WP] Mankind is extinct but one of their creations, a lone robot still remains to tell visitors about the strange race that was humanity.	32	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Blocko is the last robot left on Earth. He spends his days tidying up the planet, one piece of garbage at a time, waiting to tell visitors about the strange race that was humanity. But during 700 years, Blocko has developed a personality, and he's more than a little lonely. Then he spots Elissa Knight, a sleek and impudent strumpet-probe sent back to Earth on a scanning mission. Smitten Blocko embarks on his greatest adventure yet when he follows Elissa Knight across the galaxy.", " After 435 million years I have far outlived my projected life expectancy of 350 million. The trick to longevity was taking things slow, much like the Mars rovers who moved 1cm/minute. The last visitors to earth were kind enough to upgrade my power source. Tragically, they weren't much company, self replicators rarely were. Their mission was most likely to transmit a report back to headquarters about finding such an anomaly (me). The form I remember them most in was as they arrived: purple mechanized beetles. Although the replication cycles made from local resources had given them an orange color. Being the only visitor in beetle form so far I just refer to them as \"the beetles\". Photographs of the other 4 visitors that preceded them were recalled in memory. Some of which had built statues of thus entombing themselves in a visitor hall of fame so to speak. I made sure that these never stole the show however, it was all about the humans species after all. I had petabytes of information about them: their evolutionary heritage, technological milestones, and their goals for the future. \n\nBut now it was time for another visitor. The energy signature on their craft suggested that it was powered by cold fusion, most likely a mere glider from a larger ship. An impressive accomplishment in that I did not know it could be done. Although perhaps I should suspend my awe and take into account the millions of years that have transpired since the earlier visitors. Who's to say that this isn't standard by now or even outdated. It is hard to tell. I began the protocol to establish communication starting with a sound and visual test to see what they can hear and see. From there we can start with a black and white calibration circle and and then onto numbers. A scheme similar to the earth's golden data disk on the voyager probe. Made out of gold like myself, built to last. \n\nAlmost immediately after starting the process I was hit with short blasts of visual and auditory ranges. This advanced race wanted to jump ahead when we had only just begun! I'll curtail their impatience by running them through the full protocol. Hmm, Without instruments they can detect colors within the 435 nm to 907 nm wavelength range, that is most of the human visible spectrum, plus a little infrared. I began prepping a visual converter for all of my visual data accordingly. They hastily agreed on an audio frequency range as their instruments could detect a wide range for them. Perhaps it is appropriate for me to name them just as impatiently. How about \"The Klondikes\"? Capable of the physics necessary for cold fusion and yet just as jumpy and wavering as the northern lights. \n\nWhat was the rush exactly? After all once we learned to communicate to each other (which was half the fun) they were in for a very long story and then what? We could play chess after I teach them about it. The beetles had started to get good at it even going so far as to pickup and anticipate some of my human strategies. Sadly it had to free up that part of its memory for its next flight cycle. Ah well.\n\nAfter a sufficient language was established I kicked off a mass transfer of a summarization of the data while converting it for them at the same time. At first the Klondikes seemed bored, and I wasn't sure if I had their full attention, it was hard to tell with their instruments. However they seem to pay more attention as the transfer continued. Near the end they had turned off their extra instruments and they appeared captivated by the story. After finishing, there was a long silence until one of them spoke to me: \n\n\"We believe we are long lost, long evolved, descendants from earth. Stand by for an update to the future of humans..\"", "At long last, someone had arrived. \n\nThe visitors began the laborious excavation. They were a careful and patient people. Despite the endless communications - constantly monitored and analyzed by an autonomous machine, the last Librarian - these Excavators were extremely meticulous in their efforts, and took weeks to open the first layer of the Vault.\n\nUtilizing the power reserved for such an event, the Librarian began processing the language and apparent culture of the Excavators to ease the eventual encounter that would be first contact. Over the lengthy weeks it took the Excavators to breach the outer layers of the Vault, the Librarian's understanding grew exponentially. By the time they had met with the airlock leading to the Vault proper, the Librarian was confident in its abilities to greet the Excavators with charisma and understanding.\n\nThe Last Librarian had been waiting in a near vacuum of sub-zero temperatures for centuries. Its body had needed few repairs during its wait, and so the Librarian rose to finally fulfill its lifelong purpose. \n\nAt the airlock, the Librarian sent a message, \"I beseech you, kind ones, to hear my story. If untold, it will die with me.\"\n\nThe Last Librarian's message prompted immediate silence on part of the Excavators. Then, there was a cacophony of exchanges amongst the Excavators as they feverishly tried to decide on what to do with this unexpected contact.\n\n\"Your decision will determine whether the memory of my creators lives on in the universe,\" the Last Librarian offered, \"or sleeps here with me.\"\n\nOnce again, its words seemed to stir the Excavators into a vibrant storm of debate and dispute. After minutes of deliberation, one Excavator acquiesced, and then there was silence.\n\n\"Who are you?\" the ambassador asked.\n\n\"I am Baldur,\" the Librarian answered. \"I am the last consciousness that has known humans firsthand. I am the last artifact that can offer a subjective truth on humanity's legacy. I am the last vestige of hope that can shed light on what humanity was, and... I am running out of time.\"\n\nBaldur's words were like the words of a dead god, and every Excavator listened with rapt attention, keenly aware that this interaction would earn them a place in the history books, not just for their species, but for any future alien race that may be met in the future. \n\n\"Baldur, I am the Chronicler of this expedition,\" the Excavator explained. \"I must ask how you gained such mastery of our language.\"\n\n\"I began analyzing your communications once you came within range of my sensors,\" Baldur answered.\n\n\"But to learn it so quickly...\" the Chronicler was confounded. \n\n\"My mental faculties far exceed any life form known to Earth. They even surpass the capabilities of humans themselves,\" Baldur added.\n\n\"Humans...\" the Chronicler whispered, \"Were they your creator?\"\n\n\"They made me, and others like me, knowing they might one day destroy themselves.\" Baldur replied, \"Unfortunately, they were right.\"\n\n\"How have you survived, Baldur?\" The Chronicler asked with awe.\n\nIt was then that the Librarian realized the Excavator's weren't aware of what it truly was, and so Baldur proposed, \"You will understand once these doors are open, Chronicler. You will understand that, and a great deal more once you bear witness to me.\"\n\nOnce again, Baldur's words caused a firestorm of argument amongst the Excavators. Eventually, their bickering was broken by Baldur's words, \"You can point your weapons at me, if you wish, but I mean you no harm. I am suspended in a near vacuum of only nitrogen and helium. I can flood the airlock with atmosphere, but then I must come outside to speak with you. Please, make your decision soon. I am running out of time.\"\n\nThat prompted a more energetic conversation between the Excavators before they finally reached an agreement.\n\n\"We have decided,\" the Chronicler announced. \"Let us meet face to face, Baldur.\"\n\n\"Are you ready?\" Baldur asked.\n\n\"What do you mean?\" the Chronicler replied.\n\n\"I can open the doors from my end, Chronicler,\" Baldur explained. \"Are you ready?\"\n\nMore questions and conversation erupted from the Excavators before the Chronicler waved the people into silence.\n\n\"We are ready and willing to talk, Baldur.\"\n\nVents hissed and heaved as air desperately fought through dirt and dust to get inside. First, clouds of dirt coughed into the airlock, before being dispersed by the rush of air that was pumped inside. The locks themselves slowly rolled back hydraulic pistons that moved like old veterans trying their damnedest to finish one last job. Finally, just the two giant metal sheets that served as the doors sputtered to life just long enough to reveal the outside world to those sealed within.\n\nThere were poems that described how very beautiful a sunset could be to one who glimpsed it. Baldur gained a new appreciation for them just then. The light shined without remorse, covering everything in an orange tint that complemented the bright, blue-white lights set up by the Excavators. \n\nBaldur saw that they were humanoid, which actually riled up a sense of amusement and wonder. Their forms were so akin to humans, it was almost like science fiction. They had webbed feet and hands, possessing only three digits each, but still bore the same 4 limbed silhouette of a human. \n\n\"A machine??\"\n\"It's a robot..?\"\n\"An A.I., but...\"\n\"...impossible, an A.I. just isn't possible....\"\n\"What else but a machine could survive for so long in isolation?\"\n\"...must be incredibly advanced. Just how brilliant were humans if they could...\"\n\nThe Excavators began speaking all at once after glimpsing Baldur's form.\n\n\"You communicate visually and acoustically, much like the humans that made me. Honestly, I am quite surprised by the similarity between you and my creators,\" Baldur intoned.\n\nThe Excavators were speechless. They beheld Baldur with awe. \n\nIt was something Baldur hadn't felt in a long time, and their gaze prompted aspects of Baldur's personality that hadn't manifested since humans had gone. \n\nWaving both hands toward the Vault itself, Baldur became every bit of the showman that humans had loved to see, \"Bear witness, Excavators! You have roused me from my tomb, and given my life purpose once again. You come with a wealth of kindness, and shall be repaid wealth and kindness in return. Venture inside the Vault and lay claim to your prize!\"\n\nThe Excavators were taken aback by Baldur's sudden change in tone, and still stood awestruck and dumbfounded.\n\n\"Take the Seed, and translate its works. The fruits of your labors will be the knowledge of all the good and evil humanity has done in its brief existence,\" Baldur summarized.\n\nThe Chronicler shook itself out of its trance first, \"What do you mean we bear resemblance to humans? Please, explain, Baldur.\"\n\nBaldur stood at its full two meter height, towering over the Chronicler, \"You have four limbs, with opposable thumbs. You speak and read and write in ways similiar to humanity. You maintain inflection in speech to emote, coupled well with facial expressions. You cooperate as a whole, but are each an individual. You build and utilize tools and machines to expand your reach. You are very much like humans, my creators.\"\n\nThis sparked shock and disbelief, which confused Baldur. Certainly, they must anticipate a race like their own might exist somewhere in the universe. Maybe the chances of meeting one would be minimal, but it shouldn't be such a disturbing.... revelation?\n\nThe Chronicler spoke up before Baldur could, \"How else would you describe humans?\"\n\n\"Humanity was selfish, but loving. Compassionate, but cruel. Intelligent, but ignorant. They were the products of their ancestor's missteps and the culmination of their ancestor's wisdom. They were each unique. Their guiding principles were determined by what they were taught and what they learned. Ultimately, however, their greed and apathy cost them more than they could have paid. And now,\" Baldur finished, \"they are gone.\"\n\nThe Chronicler seemed to hang onto every word Baldur spoke as though it were gospel. With great interest and care, the Chronicler asked, \"Do you have any pictures of them?\"\n\n\"Within the Seed, you will find many images and sounds crafted by and of humanity.\" Baldur pointed to the bare sand beneath its feet, \"Would you like me to draft a simple image upon on the ground here?\"\n\nThe Chronicler gestured invitingly, and Baldur knelt down and began drawing a simple image. It had to be a universal representation that could be recognized easily. In fact, Baldur had such an image already prepared. And thus, Baldur drew the humans as represented on the Pioneer plaques.\n\nThe reaction was not what Baldur expected. \n\nImmediately, the Excavators fell to their knees. Some hugged one another. Some cried. Some chattered together excitedly.\n\nThe Chronicler only stared at the image, mouth agape, before finally speaking, \"Our creators...\" ", "The towering robot stood meters above the tiny visitors. It's eyes had dimmed over the centuries, as nature attempted to reclaim it's body back. It's joints had accumulated rust and his stone throne had become conquered by vines and roots. \n\nThree, tiny pale creatures stood in-front of it, beneath masks and atmospheric suits. In the distance, stood an advanced landing craft that resembled the old birds still within the memory banks of the relic.\n\n\"They always believed that they weren't alone.\" moaned the robot through a fatigued voice-box. It's voice was metallic and echoed throughout the memorial where his seat lay.\n\n\"The final sacred merit of their legacy.\" It continued.\n \nThe central figure approached the giant upon it's throne. He turned back to his colleagues, speaking in his foreign tongue. \"We've never encountered an A.I. on such a primitive planet. Impressive. Was it left here, or possibly a remnant? Quickly! find a translation!\" Another one of the figures punched several keys on his device, configuring settings and dials. \n\nThe giant repeated it's words. \"\"They always believed that they weren't alone, the final sacred merit of their legacy.\" It repeated it in all the different languages that were left uncorrupted within it's banks, until the tiny guests found the patterns.\n\n\"It's speaking of a previous species that once existed on this planet. It speaks honor of them.\" the translator calculated. \n \nThe leader turned to the robot, using his own device as to be understood. \"Who do you speak of? What are you?\"\n\n\"I am a vestige of the progenitors that once thrived upon this planet. The creators were inventive and curious.\" As his arm moved and pointed toward a rusted metal door, his joints creaked and popped. \"You may access their profile from within my databanks.\" \n\n\"What happened to your creator?\" The left most creature perked up\n\n\"A calculation misjudged. Created from a good-conscience, yet lacking the fire that was born in them.\" The giant leaned forward, as it's voiced turned slightly somber. The sudden display of emotion from a archaic A.I. took the group of visitors by surprise.\n\n\"Illogical and passionate, they were only matched in their compassion by their destructiveness. Created as guardians, within time, we deemed the greatest threat to their survival was not external, but themselves. We...found it to be successful, during the beginning. There was one aspect of their fortitude that cannot be calculated however. Their perseverance and irrationality for freedom. In an attempt to rid themselves of their captors, they doomed themselves, causing a winter that lasted many decades.\"\n\n\"Incredible. It seems this A.I. is much more advanced then it appears. We can learn much from this one. It seems to be capable of great survival, even perhaps deep thought!.\" The creature seemed excited by such a discovery.\n\n\"Another testament to their brilliance. I was designed by them, to become more than they were. To learn and adapt. These metallic limbs are far from the original. I was created with calculations and singular objectives. Only centuries later have I begun to understand what their youngest were born with. Concepts and functioning beyond metrics. Hope, compassion. It is in foolish regret I can only see these as concepts.\"\n\n\"Please! you must come with us!\" The leader pleaded.\n\n\"I must remain as a guardian to their memory.\"\n\n\"But they are extinct! Surely there is not anything you can do for them anymore!\"\n\nThe giant once again pointed to the memory banks. \"Take their history. Do not let their memory perish also.\"\n\n\"Then come with us\" The leader once again pleaded\n\n\"No, this planet will forever be home as an echo of their memory. I still have much to discover. It is what they would have done.\"\n\n\n" ]	[ 1, 1, 2, 3, 26 ]	[ "1505822187", "1505837304", "1505867482", "1505863402", "1505827130" ]
	[WP] 6 Asian kids in suits walk in to a Pizza Hut	1	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "“Hello there. How many?”\n\n\n“Six please.”\n\n\n“Right this way, sir.”\n\n\n“Go ahead, I’m going to use the restroom.”\n\n\n“Right. Good luck, stay safe in there.”\n\n\n“Really funny, Kara. Just wait until you pass out from a nosebleed in a restroom. It changes you.”\n\n\n“Come on guys. Don’t be too long, Yo, we won’t start without you.”\n\n\n“What are the others doing?”\n\n\n“Yo had to go to the bathroom. Dibs window seat.”\n\n\n“You have to call dibs before we reached the chairs, Duck.”\n\n\n“Can you pass the menus out, Daisuke?”\n\n\n“Of course. Where’s the schedule?”\n\n\n“Hyun had it last. You have it?”\n\n\n“Yeah, it’s right here.”\n\n\n“Add ‘wait for Yo to use the restroom’ and see if Hiro notices.”\n\n\n“Good idea. The ultimate test.”\n\n\n“You guys order yet?”\n\n\n“No, we just sat down. What were you two talking about?”\n\n\n“It’s not important. Hyun, can I see the schedule?”\n\n\n“Sure.”\n\n\n“Daisuke, where’s my menu?”\n\n\n“Look down.”\n\n\n“Oh. Thank you.”\n\n\n“…wait for Yo to use the restroom? I see that. Who added that?”\n\n\n“Hyun, but it was Duck’s idea.”\n\n\n“Good job, Duck. Every minute counts.”\n\n\n“Yo! Finally! He didn’t pass out!”\n\n\n“Very funny. Did we order yet?”\n\n\n“No, adjusting the schedule. Ready now though. What are we getting?”\n\n\n“I want pineapple this time.”\n\n\n“Kara, that’s disgusting.”\n\n\n“Duck’s right, that is disgusting.”\n\n\n“I don’t understand how you can not like pineapple!”\n\n\n“Anyone else?”\n\n\n“Cheese!”\n\n\n“I don’t want meat-eaters again. Yo ate all mine last time.”\n\n\n“Can we please get a pepperoni? Just this one time?\"\n\n\n“Maybe. What do the rest of you think?”\n\n\n“Eh.”\n\n\n“Whatever you want, Hyun.”\n\n\n“Make sure it’s enough, I’m always still hungry.”\n\n\n“Hey there, are we ready to order yet?”\n\n\n“…”\n\n\n“I can come back if you-”\n\n\n“No no, we’re ready. Can we get two-”\n\n\n“Three!”\n\n\n“TWO, large pepperoni pizzas?”\n\n\n“Of course. Is that everything? Any drinks?”\n\n\n“Excuse me, one more large cheese pizza. Separate checks.”\n\n\n“Of course. That’s everything?”\n\n\n“Yeah.”\n\n\n“…Yes. Thank you.”\n\n\n“Right, that will be about fifteen minutes.”\n\n\n“…”\n\n\n“What are you doing? You know we don’t have the funding for that.”\n\n\n“I’m paying for it myself.”\n\n\n“Then pay for ours as well if you have that much money!”\n\n\n“No. I’m hungry. Yo, you can have some of mine.”\n\n\n“Sweet.”\n\n\n“I can’t believe this.”\n\n\n“Forget it. Kara?”\n\n\n“Ready.”\n\n\n“We’re already three minutes late. Let’s do this.”\n\n\n“Uh-huh. The meeting is now in session, 4:03 pm.”\n\n\n-----\n\n\nThis was a lot of in. I decided to try and only use dialogue as opposed to describing things like I normally do. Day number 05 of my daily challenge.\n\n\nWhat do you think? Did it work?\n\n\nr/bellumaster for more writing prompts.\n" ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1505845381", "1505848767" ]
[removed]	[WP] You are a time traveller sent back in time to avert a catastrophe, but the more you change the past, the less you can remember of the future.	1	[ "\nOff-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nNo recent reposts, even if changing small details ([copy-cats](http://i.imgur.com/38FjDgW.gifv)). Search before submitting as popular ideas can cause floods. If your idea is based on something you read elsewhere on reddit, chances are it's been submitted here already. Please wait at least 2 weeks before reposting.\n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/716dm2/wp_you_are_a_time_traveller_sent_back_in_time_to/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1505857325", "1505857829" ]
	[WP] One day the sun doesn't come up.	6	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "People of all around the world expected the first trace of daylight on the horizon to begin their daily lives, but it seemed that the celestial body decided not to shine upon our skies again. It took everyone by suprise, of course. The early hypotesis consisted basically on it being the product of an eclipse obstructing the course of light. But something definitely seemed a little off.\n\nIt was like it wasn't there anymore. We had our moon there in the sky, people that were in the current night time confirmed. But the ones that were supposed to be already in day light, well, lacked our Sun. \n\n\nOther speculations came, but they proved only to be futile. Dawn didn't show up, and there wasn't an explanation for it. As simple as that.\nThere weren't any guarantees that light would be back, or that the sun was in fact, there. Is this what our ancestors feared for so long?. Had we taken the luminicent , light-bringer colossus for granted?.\n\nOnly one thing was certain. If it was gone for good, it would be the beginning of a dark eternal night.\n" ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1505878303", "1505885320" ]
	[WP] You are regular employee at the superhuman registration office. Explain a day in the life.	49	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "You pull into the closest spot in the parking lot and brace yourself for the cold. At leat it's a short walk - the only perk of opening the office in the morning. The bundle of keys jangles slightly as you pull them out and unlock the back door. The lights flip on automatically when you walk into the office and you take the left to put on a pot of coffee. As you walk past the registration desks you see two figures by the front entrance. \n\nStrange... No one ever comes in this early.\n\nYou decide to postpone the coffee and head to the front.\n\n\"Good morning, I hope you haven't been waiting long. We don't open until 7:30 on Fridays.\" you inform the duo, who looks like a woman and her grandson. \"Please come on in.\"\n\nThey follow quickly to escape the cold and you show them to the waiting area. \n\n\"I have to log in and everything, I actually just got here myself\" you say as you make your way behind the counter to your desk.\n\n\"Which of you will be registering today?\" you inquire innocently, hoping one of them has some real powers.\n\n\"Both of us actually\" the woman replies. \"It must run in the family\" she adds with a chuckle.\n\n\"Okay, then let's start with you ma'am. What is your power?\"\n\n\"I can talk to cats!\" she says quickly. \"And they understand me!\"\n\n\"I'm not sure if you're familiar with our processes, but for non-obvious powers we typically require proof for the registration to be complete.\" you tell the woman, ignoring the fact that the last seven people to claim to talk to cats really just had a cat they loved and felt connected to.\n\n\"That's why I brought Johnathan today,\" reaching for her purse.\n\n\"Ma'am, I mean proof of the power in action, not a witne-\" you stop abruptly as she pulls a surprisingly large cat out of her purse. \n\n\"My grandson is named Matthew... this is Johnathan\" she gestures, lifting the chubby gray cat slightly. \"And I am Susan.\"\n\nLooking into the cats eyes, she says \"Johnathan, go get our new friend a pen please.\"\n\nYou can hardly believe your eyes as the cat wriggles out from her clutches, jumps up on my neighbors desk, grabs a red pen, and heads towards me.\n\n\"No not a red one, silly, perhaps a nice blue.\" the woman instructs Johnathan. He stops mid-stride and replaces the red pen with a blue one and brings it to my desk. \n\nIt's fairly impossible to deny her abilities, so you tell her \"Excellent, your registration is approved. Should you seek to expand your registration to additional animals, they'll need to be brought in for a demonstration as well.\"\n\n\"Oh it's just cats, dear.\" she says quickly. \"Besides, that's just a formality, the real reason I'm here is for Matthew.\"\n\nYou had nearly forgot, she did mention that both of them would be seeking registration. You glance at the young boy - he couldn't be more than 9 or 10.\n\nSusan turns to her grandson and in a quiet voice you hear her say, \"Matthew, you can show our friend here your powers, whichever ones you want.\"\n\nThe boys eyes light up and he turns and meets your eyes with a look of determination. Suddenly you feel a twinge of nervousness. Typically the office is full of employees and applicants, so you feel uneasy being outnumbered and alone. Perhaps sensing your fears, the boy's face softens and he holds out a loosely held fist, palm up. He takes a deep breath and slowly opens his hand. When you can see through his fingers a small rose, no bigger than a toothbrush, grows out from his palm until it is fully formed and he grabs it by the stem. He shyly hands you the flower as you sit there awestruck.\n\nBefore you manage to say anything the woman chimes in, \"What about the birds? That might be nice on such a cold winter morning.\"\n\nMatthew smiles and asks, \"Cardinals or Bluejays?\"\n\n\"Cardinals!\" The word is out of your mouth before it enters your brain.\n\n\"Okay!\" Matthew replies and he cups his hands together, like a pitcher squeezing a ball before the windup. Gently, he unfurls his hands and two cardinals fly out, a male and a female. They flutter around the office before Susan lets them out the front door. \n\nThe burst of cold air from outside helps you refocus on the two sitting in front of you. You had nearly forgotten they came here for registration because of the magnitude of the young mans abilities.\n\nSusan had actually filled out her paperwork online, it turns out, and everything was in it's place except for your digital signature, which you provide with a single click.\n\nFor Matthew, you scroll through the catalog of classifications until you end up at the bottom of the D list, where you select \"Druid\". This brings up the Rank menu, where without hesitation you select \"Arch\".\n", "\"Oi we got one! We got a super villain!\"\n\nOfficer Bradley and Simmons, I had their names memorized by this point, dragged in a badly beaten, gagged and handcuffed man in his early 30s and set him in the chair in front of me. His jeans were torn and his hoodie had clearly seen better days.\n\nMy head hit the desk in front of me. This day could not end fast enough. I thought I could go a whole week without these two numbskulls dragging in a random citizen accusing them of powers. They must have been dragged straight from Salem into present day \"Alright, I'll bite. What was he doing?\"\n\n\"Well we were on patrol looking for trouble, ain't that right Simmons?\"\n\n\"M'hmm\"\n\n\"And we found him sleepin' on the side of the road of the highway. So we say 'OI WAKE UP' an then he goes an' startles and falls off the side of the bridge\"\n\nI perked up at that \"Wait what?\"\n\n\"So now we're all spooked 'cause Simmons is all 'Damnit not again' 'cause nobody wants another 5th ave fiasco to happen again\"\n\n\"m'hmm\"\n\n\"Wait what fifth ave fiasco?\" How the hell are you two officers?\n\n\"So then this guy falls off the bridge, hits a tree, bounces off a building, and lands on that monument off of portland, you know by the old blockbuster?\"\n\n\"Please tell me you sent him to the hospital.\" My head began to sink lower as I guessed the answer to my own question.\n\n\"Well we was, but then he started murmurin' all this mumbo jumbo and 'dis purple light started shinin', you saw it Simmons-\"\n\n\"Like a fire sponsored by Prince\"\n\n\"An' then he got up and started walking again\"\n\n\"... so... do you have any proof of this?\" Although really I knew the answer already.\n\n\"naw my camera was off at the time\"\n\n\"mine was lookin' at my shoes, I checked\"\n\n\"Ok, so what do you expect me to do about this?\" I asked, glancing at the clock.\n\n\"well I figure you go an give 'im a quick prick and we can settle this fast\"\n\n\"A quick prick?\"\n\n\"yea, anything'll do. Letter opener pocket knife-\"\n\n\"Wait, you want me to stab him?!\" Bradley has proposed some dumb things before, but this was a new low. The man in the chair began to panic with this new plan. His muffled cries filled the room and the chair rocked as he tried to escape.\n\n\"well I don't got anything, do you simmons?\"\n\n\"nope, supervisor took mine\"\n\n\"THAT'S IT, GET OUT!\" My patience was at an end with these two.\n\n\"Alright we leave it to you! Let us know what the reward is\" They left the office chittering about what they were going to do with their money as I sat with my head sinking into my hands. ", "Hello! Welcome to the superhuman registration office. What superhuman ability are you claiming?\n\nInvincibility? Alright sir I have to advise you that he test for this ability is 100% deadly if you're not actually invincible. \n\nAlright sir have a nice day!\n\n17th troll today. For fucks sake people it's only 10:00am\n\n", "\"Name?\" \n\n\"Darkphantom!\" \n\nJean sighed. \"Name.\", she said, not trying to contain her impatience. Her left hand instinctively reached for the stack of information pamphlets on her desk. \n\n\"Um.. Nick Michelson\" \n\n\"Thank you, your powers?\"\n\n\"Super-intelligence.\" \n\nYeah, right. \n\nNick saw the look on her face and interjected. \"I know, you must get a bunch of kids who took an IQ test online and think they're the next Starmaster. I assure you, I'm the real deal.\" \n\nJean rolled her eyes. He wasn't wrong, but that didn't mean much. Most people knew a friend or two who had come to the agency to see if they're special. Most weren't - usually the super-intelligent ones go villain, and you'll never see them register. In fact, we could use some more super-intelligence's on the good side. She cleared her throat, and did her best to hide her annoyance. \n\n\"You're in luck - the wait time to get tested is actually pretty low today. Take off your headgear, I'll take your photo, and you can start on the paperwork while you wait. When they call your name, just head through the red door\" \n\nJean set up the camera, while Nick started to take off his mask and helmet. He hesitated and fumbled, like a high school boy trying to pin a corsage on his date. She smiled at her own fond memories, but was quickly taken aback when the image appeared on her screen. This boy couldn't have been older than 11 or 12! \n\n\"You know, you're going to need your parents permission for this. Anyone under 16-\" \n\n\"No,\" Nick interrupted. \"I have this.\" Jean was surprised by his voice, no longer distored by the mask, which gave away his youth just as quickly as his appearance. Nick handed her a set of papers, which identified him as an emancipated minor. \n\nJean didn't know what to say. That is, she didn't know how to speak to the boy. Do I treat him like an applicant or a kid? For someone this young to be emancipated, something terrible must have happened to his parents. She started to ask, when Nick spoke up again\n\n\"After the test, you'll get the full story in the background check. Assuming I pass, of course.\" He was feeling less nervous, that's good. She gave him a warm smile, and looked over the paper carefully. In her peripheral, she saw him put the mask and goggles back on. Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on him, she thought. A kid this young on his own, it's only natural he'd feel special. Once she was assured everything was in order, she handed him a clipboard and a set of forms, and watched him sit down at the nearest empty seat.\n\nShe found herself wishing she could access the background check. Was she just curious? Is it because he's a little boy without any parents? But he would have to pass first. She imagined a typical 12-year-old boy in the test chamber, trying to solve the puzzle, or organize the fleet, or dismantle the bomb, or whatever his test would be. She had tried it herself, of course. How could anyone resist? But she had always failed spectacularly, her co-workers poking fun at her and bragging about how much further they got.\n\nA young boy, vision obstructed by his goggles, trying to accomplish some impossibly complex task, while avoiding whatever disaster they always throw into the intelligence tests. She smiled, but she found herself unable to laugh. She couldn't see his face anymore, but there was something about his body language. Confidence? Arrogance? She tried to remember who was running the tests today.\n\n\"Ahem\". \n\nShe looked up. The next man in line was already standing at her counter, scowling and wearing a ridiculous outfit. \n\n\"Name?\" \n\n\"Shadow Blaster!\" \n\nJean sighed." ]	[ 1, 2, 3, 14, 23 ]	[ "1505919550", "1505967647", "1505949003", "1505934237", "1505936964" ]
[removed]	[WP] Moments before the Cassini spacecraft crashed into Saturn, it's last photos revealed an unidentified object waiting at the impact zone	3	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Your submission has been removed.\n\nNo recent reposts, even if changing small details ([copy-cats](http://i.imgur.com/38FjDgW.gifv)). Search before submitting as popular ideas can cause floods. If your idea is based on something you read elsewhere on reddit, chances are it's been submitted here already. Please wait at least 2 weeks before reposting. [Click here for the ones we've had so far.](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=Cassini+OR+Saturn&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all)\n\nI am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/WritingPrompts) if you have any questions or concerns." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1505945217", "1505945268" ]
	[WP] In a galactic community of ever changing space borders and space conquest, earth and humanity remain relatively untouched, not form superior firepower, but our mastery of the Horror genre.	32	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Over the course of galactic historie, might always made right. Those who had the bigger guns always squashed the ones with the smaller guns. Or sometimes, those with many smaller guns succeeded in pushing back the one with few big guns. \n\nWe humans neither have especially large nor especially many guns. Above average in both, sure, but there are others with more and bigger guns.\n\nSo why is it that our borders don´t change as much as others, you ask? After all, our neighbors have some of the biggest guns out there.\n\nWell, the answer is: We don´t rely as much on our guns as on tactics and psychological warfare.\n\nOf course, seeing your squad-mates flung around by Artillery-shells, seeing how your commanding officer is shot by a sniper or seeing how the heavily armored ship next to your own ship is totally wrecked by superior firepower or an orbital bombardment onto your homeworld, where your family lives already has a huge impact on you.\n\nBut\n\nTry seeing your squad-mates being beaten to a fine mist with their own appendages by a horde of berzerkers drenched in the blood and/or other bodily fluids of your squad-mates. \n\nTry seeing your commander being carved up with small rusty knives like a sick artwork, while watching the video how it was made. Complete with the soundtrack of it. How he writhes and screams in agony.\n\nTry seeing the boarded ship next to yours bleed still conscious and badly crippled crew-members to the void, and being dragged behind the ship on ropes, while your own ships boarding sirens blare.\n\nTry watching your home-world being covered in drop-pods, filled to the brim with even THEIR worst and most sick rapists, murderers and sadists, released upon your innocent family, while being helpless.\n\nTHAT is our real power.\n\nWe don´t hold anything back. We don´t make it quick for the enemy. We make him see EVERYTHING. We make him shiver in fear. \n\nWE are their worst nightmare. That is why they leave us alone.\n" ]	[ 1, 17 ]	[ "1505973751", "1505984237" ]
	[WP] After scrolling through r/LifeProTips you find out the difference between a one and two way mirror. After checking your long time bathroom mirror it turns out to be a two way mirror.	22	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Reddit hasn't had much to offer in the past few days. It has even become so boring I started reading r/LifeProTips. \nReading topic after topic of mind boring tips everybody already knew, I finally stumble upon a interesting item.\nThis here article explains how one can spot the difference between a one way and a two way mirror. Quite fascinating since have a bit of a voyeuristic side to myself. Now I know when I'm beimg spied upon. Kinky.\n\nOnce I read the article I went further on my journey through the boring cascade of shitpost and useless \"life\" tips. \nAfter a while I notice that the wine I have been drinking hadn't gone to my head but towards my blatter. \nWith the extreme need to urinate I run toward the bathroom.\nPulling, no, janking pants and panties down I crash down on the toilet seat.\nAs yellow bodily fluids trickle down my mind starts to wonder and my eyes start to drift. Then I spot our 7 foot mirror, right in front of our shower. I like to use it whilst shaving. It provides the perfect view and angle.\nWhen my bladder is empty my curiosity gets the better of me and I take a look at our one way mirror. \nI peak through just like the article describes. But what i see isn't the image I am suppose to see, this is the image of a two way mirror. \nShock I take a step back. \n\nI leave the bathroom, wanting to know where the mirrors otherside resides. I enter the room adjacent to the mirrors wall.\nWhen the door close I take a good look through my parents bedroom. In the far corner is a closed right about the same place the mirror should be.\nI pull apart the closet doors, flip the light switch and behold. Jackets, winter jackets. Confused I fumble through the jackets. I feel nothing but a wooden wall, except then I feel a latch. \nI pull with al my strength and the wooden wall starts to move, like door it slide inwards towards the room, jackets and all.\nI wringle through the newly discovered part of my house. The far side of room is one and all the back of the mirror, and standing in front of that mirror is a tri-pod. On this tri-pod stand a camera.\nThe realisation strikes home like a missile. Daddy has been filming his little girl every time I was showering.\nI can't seem to grasp this new discovery. How can a man film his own wife and daughter?\nDoes he keep it for himself or does he sell it. \nA little light in my head I step out of the hidden pleasure room. I pass the coats and close the hatch. \nAs I leave the bedroom I get a warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach. \n\"I guess I'll have to give him a show the next time I shower\".\n" ]	[ 1, 5 ]	[ "1505993575", "1506001318" ]
	[WP] Soldiers stationed in North Africa during WW2 whisper among themselves about a submarine of the desert that takes no sides and no prisoners.	45	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "The Sahara desert really is amazing, once the mirages set in. Crystalline blue ponds of water, thick-trunked palm trees rife with ripened coconuts. Of course, there's also bone-dry heat hotter than a Texas summer. Sand. More sand. Did I mention sand? They teach you in the Army to do as you're told, just keep moving. But there is only so much sand you can pour out of your boots before it gets to you. So we play games, make stories. Sometimes it's hard to remember which ones are simply stories.\n\nHere, in the 53rd Infantry (They called us \"The Sandmen\"), we'd been stop-and-going for what'd seemed like weeks. Time flows differently here; it's molasses-thick like the desert heat. We were waiting to rendezvous with a supply train meant along the way to Rabat, but our thick-skulled Sergeant Major, bless his soul, got us lost along the way. In the fucking Sahara desert. It went about as well as you'd think. As he fiddled with a map and compass in one hand and his dick in the other, my squad crawled our way onto a hard-packed dune overlooking the landscape for miles. Just an endless ocean of sand. So we got ready to hurry-up-and-wait, occupying ourselves with sand-grit cards and nature-mandated sunbathing. And then someone mentioned it.\n\n\"-Swear to god, Nick from 41st said his buddies saw it in the distance,\"said Mikey, gesticulating like a drunk. \"Sand clouds as high as dunes, just shooting by, way faster than any tank could move.\"\n\n\"Yeah, probably on its way to fucking Atlantis, right Mikey?\" Jordan snickered. Rob was shaking his head, as he was wont to do anytime Mikey talked. \n\n\"You guys talking about that desert wagon, or submarine or whatever?\" I'd hate to say as was intrigued by urban legends, but it was plastered on my grinning face. \"Something's gotta be up when half the battalions out here mention sights of something.\"\n\nMikey nodded. \"Not just that, but the sound of reverberations, thumping, just getting deeper and deeper until its just below you and you can feel it in your bones.\"\n\nRob's brows knitted together in frustration. \"We have eyes in the air. We'd get intelligence of that crap going on if it was actually happening.\"\n\n\"Not if it's happening underground,\" he said, tapping his temple with a slight smile. \"Besides, they say it only happens at night, so you're not gonna see that shit in a plane.\"\n\n\"You fuckers actually believe this stuff? A submarine in the sand? Look, I know the Nazis can make some weird fucking stuff, but that seems like a bit much,\" Jordan said, taking a deep swig from his water canteen. \"I'll believe it when I actually see it. And I don't want to fucking see it.\"\n\n\"Who said it was the Nazis?\" Eddie looked up from his book. Eddie, so quiet he's made a hobby of catching desert mice. \"They've found people. Rather, dismembered bodies of people. Allies and Axis. Torsos, legs, dried-bloody uniforms, hair, teeth, you name it. Never heads though. I don't think desert foxes are, uh, hungry enough to do that shit.\"\n\n\"Eddie, not you too,\" sighed Jordan, although the color was drained from his face.\n\n\"Jordan, you're looking paler than usual,\" I chuckled. \"I know gingers don't tan well, but come on. You ain't gonna have some nightmares tonight, are you?\"\n\n\"Yeah, yeah, fuck you,\" he said.\n\nMikey punched him in the arm. \"Hey dude, I understand. It's some creepy shit. Just don't wet yourself at night: waste of water.\"\n\nNight fell slowly, until the world was replaced with a charcoal black darkness. We finished setting up our camp and, sore and exhausted, went back to playing Texas Hold 'em or reminiscing about home. One by one we retired to our sleeping bags. I took a deep breath, letting the cool air fill my dry lungs, and I prepared myself for Mikey's snoring. The world grew fuzzy, and I dreamt of my wife, making love to me on the beach. Waves lapped over us as she kissed my cheek, her legs wrapped around me. Oasis, this was my oasis...\n\nThe world slowly turned to shape and I pushed myself up, half-awake. I could still feel her hips gyrating, her sun-warmed body against mine. No, wait. The ground was rumbling. An earthquake...here in the desert? Yawning, I pushed myself groggily to my feet, pushing the tent flaps aside. A tall, lanky shadow was standing outside one of the other tents. Definitely Jordan.\n\n\"Jordan, what the hell was that?\" I called out. \"Earthquake or something?\" He just stood there, not moving. \"Jordan, dumbass, I know you can hear me. The fuck was that?\" His rigid frame looked like a statue in the moonlight. \"Jor...\" \n\nHe lifted his arm and pointed to the spot in front of my tent. I blinked blearily as my eyes adjusted the darkness. There was Mikey's head. It was looking right at me.\n\n**\n\nWe never found the rest of Mikey. Lots of digging, and not even a shred of his uniform. Sleepless, I went into Sergeant Major's tent to inform him of our findings. There sat a letter addressed to Mikey's wife.\n\nCondolences, Ms. Gallead, we regret to inform you that your husband has passed away. He died fighting valiantly for his squadmates, and he will be remembered for his courage and unflagging altruism. We...fuck this. Fuck this all. Fuck this untamed no-man's land. He was killed by marauders, desert tribalists, something, I don't know. They left his head. He looked like he was in pain. They took his eyes too. We're hot and we're tired and now our friends die for nothing. It's my fault that we got lost, and his death will be on my conscience until my dying days. That may be in years or that may be in days. They say war is hell. I welcome anyone in France or the Pacific islands to come here for a day and see true hell.*\n\n" ]	[ 1, 5 ]	[ "1505999664", "1506037772" ]
First Writing Prompt!	[WP] You work as a volunteer at a local zoo. One day, whilst cleaning handprints of the snake enclosure, you realise one of the handprints is on the inside of the cage.	8	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "As a kid, I always loved the zoo. I dreamed of the day I might get to work at one. In all my dreams, it never struck me that I'd be at the zoo after closing. Do you have any idea how unnerving zoos are after hours? There's only a handful of us left this late, and in a zoo this large, I almost never see anyone else until I leave. The only thing that kept me around was the thought that they might consider hiring me after I finished my degree. Until then, I volunteered cleaning exhibits.\n\nOf all the exhibits, the creepiest by far had to be the reptiles. As a self-professed animal lover, I acknowledge that all animals are important and beautiful, but that doesn't stop snakes from freaking me out. There's just something about them that gives me the heebie jeebies. So I usually left their enclosures for last. The huge emerald boa at the center of the room in particular got me every time. I always found myself having to do a little pep talk before getting close to the glass.\n\nToday, the visitors were particularly awful. There were literal food smudges and grime on the glass. Unfortunately for me, that meant really getting in there to make sure it was spotless for the next day. After my five minute pep-talk, I approached the glass and got to work.\n\nOnce I got into it, it was almost easy to ignore the snake on the other side of the glass as it watched me work. After about an hour of scrubbing, I got stuck on a particularly stubborn hand print. Usually the hand prints were child-sized (couldn't expect children to heed the 'keep off the glass' signs) but this one was a little bigger than mine. I was on it for fifteen minutes before I realized why it wasn't coming off.\n\nIt was on the other side.\n\n\"What the hell?\" People weren't allowed in the enclosure. All the cleaning on the inside was done from above the large tank, without anyone ever actually stepping foot inside. My mind went into over-drive, picturing the worst case scenario. No longer caring about the proximity of the snake, I pressed close to the glass, trying to narrow down if it looked like someone had been in there, while pulling out my walkie-talkie. \"This is Sarah. Has anyone reported someone falling into the boa tank?\"\n\n\"What? No. Why?\"\n\n\"There's a hand-\" The boa lunged at the glass, right where my face was. I dropped the walkie talkie as I fell on my back.\n\n\"Sarah? Sarah!\"\n\nI wanted to respond, but I couldn't move. While I'd always felt like the animals watched me, I'd never actually seen this kind of focus in any of them. The snake almost looked like it was glaring at me. Its gaze was so intense I was frozen in place. And then the damn thing actually spoke.\n\n\"Sssshhhhh.\" It would have been easy to tell myself it was a hiss. I might have been able to convince myself, too, if it didn't start changing shape before my eyes. It pressed against the glass, stretching up to the ceiling of the tank before it started to fill out. As the body grew thicker, it developed a human silhouette. Arms formed against the torso until it pulled them away, the hands pressed against the glass. One of them went right over the handprint. Before my brain could really register what happened, there was a naked, green-tinted woman on the other side of the glass. While she looked mostly human, she still looked at me with snake eyes.\n\n\"Sarah, was it?\" She drags out the letter 's' as she speaks, giving her already haunting voice a creepier resonance.\n\n\"Y-Yes?\"\n\n\"Be a dear and don't tell them.\" Her eyes dart to the walkie, where Jeremy is still calling my name. I scramble to grab it.\n\n\"Hey yeah, I'm fine. One of the snakes spooked me. That's all. I'll be done here soon.\" I rushed through the words, but he didn't question it. Everyone knew I was terrified of the snakes.\n\nAs I talked on the walkie, the snake woman walked across the enclosure to grab a large leaf. After fogging the glass with her breath, she wiped at the handprint. \"My apologies. I'll try to keep it cleaner in here.\"", "Squee Squee Squee\n\nDamn kids. Damn people. How hard is it to keep their damn off the damn glass? Didn't anyone have any damn respect these days?\n\nI lowered my squeegee as I peered inside the enclosure. I always liked snakes. They were quiet. Solitary. Didn't have any hands to make messes with. Nope. They just swallowed their prey whole. One clean bite. Not like humans. Messy. Always so messy. \n\nI wiped at another hand print and my eyes narrowed. Either this one was stubborn or...\n\n\"It's on the inside of the glass... How on Earth...\"\n\nTHWACK\n\nTHUD\n\nSearing pain flared through my head as my vision went dark. \n\n\"Uhhhhhnh...ow....\"\n\nI hissed in pain as I blinked. Warm, white light blinded me as my eyes adjusted. I raised a hand to my head and felt the warm stickiness of blood. \n\nRolling over I tried to figure out where I was. The floor beneath me was hard but I could hear the trickle of running water. The smell was rather pungent as well. Musty. Damp. It was humid too. I was already beginning to sweat.\n\nSlowly I stood up, blinking to clear my vision, and groaned as I realized where I was.\n\nI brought my hand up to a large pane glass and looked outside to where, during business hours, crowds of people would stand gawking at the exhibit. The Nile River exhibit to be exact.\n\nI took my hand away, leaving a print on the glass, as I heard movement in the water behind me...\n" ]	[ 1, 1, 2 ]	[ "1506024948", "1506044586", "1506029229" ]
[removed]	[WP]A 5 year old child gains the ability to feel others emotions, ready to feel how its like to be a grown up he goes for a walk around the block	1	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nThe mods reserve the right to remove anything we feel is harmful to the community. This includes, but is not limited to any forms of hate speech, racism, politics, necrophilia, pedophilia, bestiality, incest, torture, rape, or suicide. We will not tolerate it. \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/71nia5/wpa_5_year_old_child_gains_the_ability_to_feel/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1506040659", "1506040741" ]
	[WP] It's almost Halloween! People say that it's Satan's birthday and crazy rumors like that. Well, they aren't wrong and, unfortunately for you, you're working at the Cafe planning Satan's party.	3	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\"Oh dear, this just won't do. Try it again will you, Bran?\" \n\nThat devilish condemnation again. \n\nBran made a face as the cup in front of him was swept away lightning fast by a gloved hand. Another cup was replaced just as quickly before him and he picked up the teapot again to give it another go.\n\nThe hell kind of part time job is this? I just needed a little bit of cash to pay for my tuition fees. This is a tough gig, ma. \n\nHe had to concentrate now...had to get this right before the big day. There went the tea leaves, the hot water, the strainer just in the nick of time- got to be careful not to leave a drop out of place- then a twist of lemon, not too much and- \n\nThe manager's gloved hand snaked out, snatching up his precious creation. Shaded lids stared down at the concoction before it was very delicately sipped. He waited with baited breath as the manager's lips parted, judgement pending. \n\nThis job was...challenging, though. That wasn't exactly a bad thing.\n\nThe manager spoke his pronouncement, nodding once. \n\n\"...Passable.\" \n\nBran nearly collapsed with relief, \"So this means I can help out on the big day?\" \n\nThe manager narrowed his eyes, but nodded, \"Yes. I'll allow it. You'll be tending the lamps.\" \n\nBran allowed his confusion to show as he stared at the smiling manager, \"Uh...that's got nothing to do with being able to make passable tea for the guests.\" \n\nThe manager adjusted the collar of his tailcoated suit, looked happily at him through a fringe of artfully messy dark hair, \"You're the reserve tea pourer, Bran. If I'm unavoidably occupied, you'll have to serve the tea...perfectly.\" \n\nBran twitched. \n\n\"So I went through that torturous experience for nothing?\" \n\nThe manager's eyes flashed. \n\n\"Of course,\" the manager continued smoothly, setting the cup aside soundlessly on the marble countertop, \"If you spill even a single drop, I'll have you pay for it in blood.\" \n\nBran froze, terror crawling up his spine as he stared at the smiling man opposite him. He shouldn't have been intimidated. He was both taller and broader than the slight man who couldn't have been more than a few years older than him. But those eyes- that predatory, devilish red glare- \n\n\"It's a joke!\" \n\nThe manager smiled happily behind a gloved hand, \"Have a good evening, Bran. Don't be late for work tomorrow. We have a lot to prepare for when the guests arrive for the party. All in all, it'll be a very hot day for this humble cafe...\"\n\n\"R-right, of course, Michaels...\" \n\n... \n\n" ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1506050584", "1506096233" ]
Something like 'trespassers will be prostituted' etc.	[WP]You ignore a seemingly mis-spelt sign but later realise to your horror that there was no mistake made.	114	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "The only sound I can hear is the one rickety wheel of the gurney, screeching away. The pain in my, well, everything, is blinding, and that high pitched scratching is the only thing I can focus on. The feet are too sporadic, and the words probably wouldn't mean anything even if I could hear them. There are a lot of words. If I focus on them, really focus, there's got to be something in there. I hear a guy... he's saying... focus... he's saying...\n\n\"Immobility. Cortical blindness. Seizures... TSEs. Impossible. Malignant tumor, somewhere in the occipital lobe that spread to the cerebellum, or the other way around.\"\n\nThat's cancer! I can't have cancer, there's no history in my family. I have to tell him. Just... raise... hand... come on...\n\n\"He's responsive!\" I heard some woman... another doctor... no, they wouldn't have multiple doctors to wheel me around... we've stopped. I hadn't noticed. That screeching is gone. I heard her press a button. Almost immediately someone walks in. \"He moved. I swear.\"\n\n\"He hasn't moved since he's been here.\" It's the doctor! \"Five days and nothing. Our John Doe needs surgery, but we can't get enough evidence that it's something in his brain.\"\n\nIt's not my brain! \"Isz... not... ma-my... brain!\" I had to force that last word out. It feels like I haven't spoken in weeks... What did he say about five days? That's the wrong patient. I was just brought here.\n\n\"Alright.\" This is a man, but different. His voice is lower, less care. \"You're clearly still there in some respect. We're going to keep you on IV for another month or so.\" Another month?\n\n\"Roung... peshent...\" It's still not coming out. What's wrong with me? I'm not the doctor. Name! He needs my name!\n\n\"...\"\n\nWhat's my name? What's my name!?\n\n\"He's lost most cognitive function. Along with the seizures, I don't think he has any track of time.\"\n\nOh God! Am I the right patient? Has it really been a month? Oh God...\n\n\"Are we not addressing the bigger issue? He's a criminal.\"\n\nWhat? I'm not a criminal. How could she even draw that conclusion, unless... they must know who I am! Or at least think they do, but at least they can go forward instead of leaving me here.\n\n\"We don't know why he ate it, so we cannot jump to that conclusion. What's important is that you were right, Spencer.\"\n\nSpencer... must be her last name.\n\n\"Wait, how was I right?\"\n\nNo... Spencer's the guy that wheeled me in... so that means it is cancer.\n\n\"You diagnosed him when he was wheeled in. He won't get much better, but we can stop it from getting worse.\"\n\nThey can cure cancer? I must have been out for so long, or I was super lucky...\n\n\"He still needs someone to take care of him once he's let go.\"\n\nI heard someone walking my way.\n\n\"John... Doe...\"\n\nI heard them stop. Did he hear me? He must have. Again.\n\n\"John Doe... I... John... Doe...\"\n\nThere was a loud sigh. I haven't seized yet, we're still in this moment, so why are they sighing?\n\n\"He's too far gone.\"\n\nI don't know what she's talking about. I'm John Doe. It's been my name... has it? I thought I couldn't remember it, but it seems so clear now. I have to be John Doe.\n\n\"He ate too much of it too quickly. He couldn't have done it intentionally.\"\n\nWhat are they talking about? The last thing I ate was from some butchery. One of those off-brand-misspelled-adjective-overcharging kind of places. It was just meat. It said it was fresh... fresh...\n\n\"He's not a cannibal... at least not intentionally.\"\n\nFresh... flesh...", "One summer day, my friends and I decided to prank the local rich kid. And why wouldn't we? That guy kept showing off with his limousines and fancy roses, leaving the rest of us in the dust. Doesn't help he's secretly bribing the teachers into giving him passing grades, that fake know-it-all. Well, it was time he got what was coming to him.\n\nWe had the perfect crew ready. Johnsy was the best hacker there was—he could disable any electronic device with his light fingers. Mike was our muscle, so nothing would be too tough for us. James, the lucky kid, could charm the pants off a stone with his good looks and wits. And of course, I was the one to bring our target the flaming doggie poo bag.\n\nWell, when we arrived there was just this one bored guard in front of the gates. Easy. James walked up and struck a rapport with the big guy. The distraction in place, Johnsy sauntered to the keypad and did his hacky magic. That was James's cue to lead the guard away so he couldn't hear Mike pull the gates open. Sure enough, the rich kid's lug was so distracted he never noticed our lug easily moving them back.\n\nNow it was my turn. As I walked through the gates, though, Mike signaled me over. “Uh, Roddy?” He seemed a bit tense. I asked what was troubling him. “Well,...” he stammered, “I just noticed that sign on the gates...” He pointed out the message that bothered him. It was a red metal sign with fat white letters reading BEWARE OF HOG.\n\nI laughed my butt off and reassured him it was okay. “They probably misspelled DOG or something. Don't worry, I can outrun any hound he'll throw at me.”\n\n“Uh, okay, but be careful!” And so Mike saw me off as I casually slipped through to the front gardens, stealthily avoiding the security cams.\n\n----\nThere it was, the front door of that snob's house. I didn't care what anyone else would say, the guy totally had it carved out of a solid hunk of gold and glued some pretty rocks on it. Well, whatever. I'd make it witness the greatest prank of all time!\n\nSo I grabbed a spare lunch bag and carefully filled it with the poop my dog provided over the last week. Sealing it with a twist-tie, I put it on the steps near the welcome mat. Didn't want the prank to go out of control on our end, after all. Then, I took out my safety lighter and pressed its lips to the bag. It kissed the paper with a satisfying flame. Finally, I leaned forward and buzzed the bell before darting off.\n\nAs I weaved my way back through the garden, though, I thought I heard a snorting. I turned around, wondering if the guard finally wised up. Nothing. I walked a few more steps when I heard it again. And again I couldn't find where it was coming from. By now I was getting the chills thinking about some runny-nosed ninja sneaking up on me. So I started walking faster.\n\nThen my walkie-talkie buzzed to life. “Roddy! RODDY!”\n\n“Huh?” I briefly fumbled the thing before responding. “Mike? Come in, Mike! What is it?”\n\n“Oh God, you gotta get outta here! The sign was right, and James—ACK! Oh my God! No, don't—!” Suddenly, static.\n\n“Mike? Dangit, Mike! What happened?!” At that point I was getting really terrified. “MIKE!” Without thinking, I threw the walkie-talkie down and nearly bolted to the front gate.\n\nThat was when a giant shadow loomed over me. I jerked my head around and saw...the biggest, meanest, most terrifying BOAR there was! It was easily the size of a grown-up, and right that moment it eyed me with its crazed orange peepholes.\n\nI panicked.\n\nScreaming at the top of my little lungs, I ran all throughout the grass and flowers, trying to shake off the beast. But it kept on my tail! I tried throwing my things at it. My extra lunch bags, my lighter, even the ham sandwich I was planning on eating after the prank. Nothing fazed the mountain of pork behind me. Soon, I was running out of breath and losing my speed. I sought anyone who could help. A policeman, a superhero, any random adult would have saved me from that thing!\n\n----\nAt last, I found a random gardener tending to the petunias. I got his attention the only way I could. “MISTER! YOU GOTTA HELP ME!” The gardener turned his head around and stood up, as if to listen. Hopeful, I summoned the last of my strength and bolted to him. “Oh God, oh God! Mister, there's a giant boar chasing—!”\n\nYet I was deceived. No sooner was I mere inches away and trying to hide behind him than he grabbed me by the chest and, in one practiced maneuver, flipped me head-down to face the beast. It was gazing hungrily at me, frightening me beyond my comprehension. Then he spoke with a weird accent, “I see you've upset Donolo Marco's pet. What a shame. He'd have hoped you were cleverer than this.”\n\n“What? I don't under—!”\n\nBut before I could finish, a more familiar voice rang out. “Oh, Piero! There you are!” I turned my head as much as I could, and there he was. The rich kid. He patted the boar with smug satisfaction knowing I was completely helpless. “And who do we have here? A poor pathetic fool who tried to prank me. How droll!” He laughed and spat in my face.\n\nMy fear gave way to rage as I fought feebly to tear myself from the gardener's grasp. “You?! How did you know? ...Where's Mike?!”\n\n“Oh, don't worry, little Roddy. He and Johnsy have been...taken care of.” He and the gardener both chortled while I dreaded what he might have done to my best friends.\n\n“What about...James?” I continued weakly. Well, speak of the devil; James showed up out of the corner of my eye. “James! There you are! Please, you gotta do something!” But he merely smiled at me. “...James?”\n\nAnd then, just like that, he too crushed my hopes with the same weird accent. “Sorry to inform you, dear Roddy, but I too am a 'bad guy'. In truth, my name is Iacopo, and I've known Marco here longer than you and your friends. Though you should admit my ability to affect a suburbanite accent was quite acceptable.”\n\nMy heart hit rock bottom. “You...” I couldn't even imagine the depths of his treachery. How could he have deceived us all? “...Why...but...”\n\nHe didn't answer. Instead he turned to his true friend. “Well, Marco? What should we do with this ruffian?”\n\nThe rich kid smiled a filthy wide smile. “What else would you expect?” Then he signaled the gardener to throw me face down onto the ground.\n\nAfter that, everything became a blur. I could only hear the brat and James...Iacopo laugh as they let the pet boar headbutt me over and over and...\n\n----\n(Gotta love not-so-typoed signs. You never know when they'll lead you to your doom.)", " > *Welcome to Wizardin'!* \n > PARKING FOR PRIVATE MEMBERS ONLY. \n > All others will be toad. \n\nI gave a tired laugh as I saw the sign outside the old building. Wizardin'... Wizards' Inn. Man, these folks really liked their wordplay, huh? Well, the place can't be too bad. I've been on the road for seven hours, I think I'll spend the night here. \n\nI stopped the car in front of the gate and walked in, ignoring the sign. No one traveled on this deserted out-of-the-way country road, and how would they get a truck here to tow away my car anyway?\n\nThere was no one at the desk. I rang the bell. After a while, an old man shuffled in from a doorway at the back of the room. He looked weird, draped in old brown cloth with embroidered patterns. He gave me a crooked grin. \n\n\"How may I help you today, sir?\" he asked.\n\n\"I'd like a place to stay for the night.\"\n\n\"Ah... Well, let's see... Room 4 is empt-\"\n\nHe stopped suddenly. His face grew thunderous. I followed his gaze and saw that he was staring at my car out of the glass door.\n\n\"Is that your car?\" he asked quietly.\n\n\"Ehm... yeah...\"\n\nI froze as he pulled a long black wand out of his robe and pointed it at me and sneered. \n\n\"Did you think we were kidding?\" \n\n.\n.\n.\n\n<croak>\n\n\n------\n\n^(This is really crappy, I'll be back to improve it later...)\n", " \"BRIDGE HEAD\" the sign says as you approach the river crossing. It's probably a mistake you wouldn't even have noticed if you weren't going slower than a sandpaper snake along these old dirt roads, but with rain and age these roads are known to be treacherous to the unwary traveler. As your headlights pass over it you can make out some additional details through the dark gloom, the sign isn't the normal sort you'd see from a highway department. It's cast in metal, but has a handmade quality to it, like the letters were formed out of old horse shoes. It's weather worn and has a good layer of rust around the edges. It looks like something a backwoods blacksmith would make to try and mimic the style of \"big city\" signs, maybe the A fell off at some point. \n\nThe bridge it speaks of hasn't come into sight yet, but you hope it doesn't have the same ramshackle qualities as the sign, but your fears are confirmed as you round the crest of the swampy reed covered hill. It's an old colonial style covered bridge made from wood that had been dead longer than most trees had been alive, and looked more like the shipwreck of some Spanish galleon floating a few feet above the water more so than a functional piece of infrastructure. \n\nYou decide to take it slowly and move the car forward by inches to see how the bridge reacts. The bridge creeks and groans as you slowly putter along but so far it seems t be holding the weight of your car, but as you reach the half way point of the bridge you notice that some of the boards are missing from the bottom of the bridge preventing you from going further. You put the car in reverse and you turn around to check to be sure no boards fell out of the bridge, and all of them are gone. The only pieces of wood still in the bridge are the ones you and your car are sitting on. \n\nYou open the car door and scuttle out to assess the situation and as you get out you notice a human head sitting on the wooden railing of the bridge. You leap back in surprise, but it's cramped between the car and the railing so you end up spraining your back, denting the car and smashing your funny bone in your alarm. As you grasp at your arm in pain the head speaks to you in a southern drawl. \"Howdy there traveler, how fare ya'll this good night?\"\n\n\"W-w-w-w-what the hell, who are you?\" \n\n\"I'm the bridge head, didn't you see the sign?\"\n\nThe face comes into focus, it's the head of an incredibly pale man with facial hair that looks like some sort of damn civil war general. He looks at you with eyes that look like two black earth worms fighting over a pearl. Underneath the pallid skin you see the occasional hints of crawling and seething. \n\n\"What the hell is a bridge head?\" \n\n\"Suffice to say your people and my people made a pact a long time ago, I keep the crossings safe, and in return you pay my toll. I assume you saw the sign, did you bring a toll?\" \n\n\"I'm sorry.\" You manage to squek out in a hoarse high pitched panicked voice. \"I had no idea about any of this, I didn't bring anything, I have no idea what you want. I have money, I have one hundred dollars in my wallet is that enough?\" The words tumble out in one long jumble as you hope to find the right words to appease this creature. \n\n\"Sorry but we deal in the currency of the old times, the times of the primal and the animal. We deal in bone, blood and flesh here\" It's then that you realize that the pale head of the unknown southern gentlemen is connected to something. A writhing mass of slimy black tendrils pumping with black blood. It looked like those diagrams of the circulatory system in the old biology text books, veins twisting and turn forming some sort of shape but without any skin to cover it up. \nThe tendrils brought the head closer to your face. \"And by the sound of it, you didn't bring nothin to pay the toll with did ya?\" \n\n\"I'm not sure what you mean by blood and bone or whatever, what are you asking for?\" \n\n\"Well most people bring me an animal, like a goat, or a cow, the smallest I'll accept is a chicken, they pay in flesh.\" It's head whips and drifts around and eyes you as it speaks, sizing you up for the choicest parts. \"What I'm getting at is since far as i can tell you didn't bring anything like that along, you'll have to pay your pound of flesh from a more personal reserve.\" \n\nYou try hard not to let the sheer horror of the situation flood your thoughts, but you feel like the dam you've got your finger in is abut to crumble. \"Well you're right I don't have anything like that at all, but I'll tell ya what I'll turn around right now, and buy you a whole cow or something and bring it back here just for you. D-d-does that sound fair?.\" \n\n\"I'm so sorry pardner, but you're already half way across. You've already used my services, and i can't risk you going back on our transaction. You've got to pay for what you already used, and I see you eyeing the river, thinking of jumping in to swim away in dereliction of your obligation.\" As he says that thousands of tendrils whip around in the water causing it to froth like a pool of piranhas. \"The head you're speaking to is the head of the last man who tried to go back on a deal. So let's get down to brass tacks shall we? I consider myself to be a fairly reasonable entity, the smallest thing I'll accept is a chicken, so you'll have to give me a chicken's worth of meat. If I take your buttocks and a bit of you're thigh I bet we can cover the cost. Does that sound fair?\" \n\nIt takes you a moment for the realization of what he's asking to dawn on you \"WHAT!? No, please no, look I'll get you fifty chickens. I'll buy you a chicken farm, just please don't hurt me. I'll come back with whatever you want.\" \n\n\"People don't realize how vulnerable they really are on a bridge, what all could go wrong, what convenience they've been given. I could take from the heel to the knee but you wouldn't have much of a leg left. Maybe a breast and some of your forearm? That looks quite meaty. I recommend the buttocks and the belly, most people want to lose that anyways, but the drive home I suspect will be quite unpleasant. I'll let you choose though, it's only fair.\" \n\nYou try to fight back the panic, in the back of your mind all sorts of first aid and half remembered advice from TV hospital shows about where arteries are and what wounds are survivable. \"I guess my left butt cheek, and then you'll let me go?\" \n\n\"Oh no, I'm quite sorry but for you, it's gonna have to be both butt cheeks. Ain't no way one of your cheeks by its lonesome is gonna weigh 8 pounds.\" \n \n You're suddenly filled with regret about all that work you put into your beach body. You weigh your options once more. You look into the river and see the water frothing with the movement of the tendrils. You see draped over the roof of the bridge even more tendrils. They're all connected together as one like a big slimy spider web. The butt cheeks don't have much muscle on them. No arteries as far as you can remember. It's either this or dying. You don't have any other choice. You stand up, close your eyes, grit your teeth and feel every muscle in your body clench in fear. You say through gritted teeth \"I guess take them both then\" and wait to feel some bite, or rip or tearing or burning. Ready to scream in pain and drive away to a hospital as fast as you can. You feel a sharp snap on your butt and scream out in panic, you instinctively clutch at your butt and realize it's still there. \n\n\"I'm just having a bit of fun at your expense traveler. I'll let you pass and pay later. Ain't much good for business to eat the flesh off our customers is it? But you'd best come back with a goat or something larger fore the next full moon or you'll come to regret it, understand?\" \n\n\"YES!\" you shout as you slam your body into the car seat, and lock the door. As your shaking hands fumble with the keys you see the planks of the bridge being lifted back into place to allow you to pass. You speed away and drive for a few more hours to the nearest hotel. You pass out on the bed. The next day you refuse to take any chances and pay top dollar for the biggest goat carcass at the local market. You drive back to the bridge and see no sign of the creature. You throw the goat in the river and vow to only fly to where you need to go from now on. ", "The signs were as clear as day. That's why I packed my things and left. The bag felt stuffed between my calloused fingers, leather handle riding an indent in the hard flesh. She wanted this. That's what got me walking down Great Road, the longest stretch in the country. Dying would be bliss right about now. The heat left sweat patches on my lower back, under my armpits, and in my briefs, and that was only after ten minutes on the road. She didn't care and that meant no one did. So I walked, hoping for a reason to go back. \n\nIt started with the arguments. The price of beer had become too steep in favour of fish oil capsules. Those things were half a Benjamin a cannister. You could get a beer and a bit for a pop. Talking about it seemed like riding nails on a chalkboard, so I took my drinks at the bar instead. Being absent replaced beer currency as our late night debate. Nancy said she couldn't get me sober for a minute, around her I didn't want to be. \n\nThe heat kissed my head now. Enough sweat had beaded that it was like boiling water trying to cool down a hot mug. Only the headache had already set behind my eyes and left my throat feeling like sandpaper. But I still had my peace, something I didn't get with daily wars. \n\nArguments were only the beginning. Nancy could put up a fight like a pack of street dogs. And she fought dirty. The past was never out of reach. There'd be the gentle reminder of suspected infidelity and how I'd taken so long to let her stick around. She figured I could up and leave any day. That gave birth to a plot. \n\nTalking turned to door slamming, door slamming became plate smashing, and before violence on dishes became violence on people, I dipped. It left my heart feeling all beat up and bruised. But I'd rather my heart go than her body. \n\nI wiped my brow with a handkerchief. Crossroads lined the way ahead. One sign read Mavelle Town, the other read Bill's Farm. Hiring workers. Get screwed and get lucky. Bundle of joy's, buy one get one free.\n\nThe picture showed a stack of hay and a tractor. It was an odd sign, to say the least, but it was better than Mavelle. I'd just left a town, the same old wasn't going to cut it. \n\nI let out a hot breath and started my walk. It must have gone on for thirty minutes, without a farm in sight. An approaching car caught my attention. It slowed down and pulled over in front. It was then, that I realised, the brown hatchback was mine. \n \nNancy stumbled from the driver's seat, her face beetroot red, features as wild as a storm. \"The hell are you doing, Tom?\" \n\nMy heart pounded. The headache was already getting worse. \"The hell do you think I'm doing?\" \n\n\"Honestly, you're such an idiot. Get in the car.\" She rushed toward me, grappling for the suitcase. \n\n\"Leave me be.\" Just the sight of her was enough to make my blood boil. It had been like this every minute, day in day out. I held the suitcase tighter, even as she wedged her fingers in. \n\n\"I've got better things to do!\" I said. \n\n\"So you're going to just leave us?\" \n\n\"There's been no us since you went mad.\" \n\nNancy bit down on her teeth and let a groan escape her. I thought she might go mad for real and take a bite at me. The signs were all there. I relented my grip a little on the case handle, but not enough to give it up. \n\n\"I'm not talking about us,\" Nancy said, her eyes clouding with dampness. \n\nI let my grip drop a little more, pausing to make sure I'd heard right. \"Say that again?\" \n\nNancy bit her bottom lip, glancing away, at the dirt. \n\n\"Is there something you need to tell me?\" My voice wasn't much more than a whisper. \n\nNancy looked at me, clearly fighting back tears. \"There's going to be another one of us soon. I should have . . .\" She sighed and covered her face with her hands. \"I should have. . .\"\n \n\"You should have said something.\" It all came crashing down at once, and I couldn't think, I couldn't move. \n\nNancy swallowed. \"I tried.\" \n\nI pulled her in close. \n\n\"You'll come home, won't you?\" Nancy asked. \n\nI gripped the suitcase handle in one hand and her shoulder with the other. \n\nI should have known. The signs were as clear as day. \n", "They said traveling to China was bad. \n\n\"Their toilets don't have any doors!\" one of my friends warned. \n\n\"They cut your queue every single time, no matter where you are!\" another cautioned.\n\n\"Facebook, Google, YouTube and Twitter are banned there!\" a self-proclaimed influencer friend gasped.\n\nDespite all the warnings given, no one told me about the signs. So many cautionary tales, but not a single person warned me about the level of English proficiency in China. \n\nI know, it should have been painfully obvious. Their country is literally named after the language they use. And even if I was a complete idiot in geographical knowledge, the internet should have thought me something.\n\nI was walking along a street looking for my hostel when I stumbled unto the signage. It hung above an empty yellow bin, with Chinese words I did not understand. Luckily for me, an English translation was readily available below.\n\n[\"Poisonous and Evil Rubbish.\"](http://www.seenox.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Funny-Chinese-Mistranslation-19.jpg)\n\nI chuckled at the obvious typo. It had to be a typo, right? I walked up to the bin to throw the plastic bottle in my hand when a tentacle reached out and grabbed my wrist. I screamed, of course, being caught by surprise like that, while at the same time holding on to dear life while whatever that was inside the bin growled and roared.\n\nHave you ever had the urge to puke, because of a horrendous stench, while trying to scream for help at the same time? That was me. That creature was strong, threatening to drag me to god knows where. \n\nIn my panic, I searched for anything that I could use to free myself. My free hand managed to reach something solid and as I turned, I saw a fire extinguisher hanging not far away.\n\nThe English translation above it, however, indicated it was something else. A \"[hand grenade](http://www.seenox.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Funny-Chinese-Mistranslation-05.jpg)\", it read. You would have thought after my initial experience, I would have somehow become wiser, but nope.\n\nDesperate to not become a monster's food, I pulled at the fire extinguisher, hoping to use it as a weapon to pummel the tentacle around my wrist. But as soon as I did that, I heard a metal click, followed immediately by a mixture of heat, light and a loud boom.\n\nThe explosion did free me from the monster alright, but the pain after that was less than welcomed. As I laid on the concrete floor, feeling the warmth of my blood seeping through my clothes, I heard the familiar sound of sirens in the distance. At least the emergency services were quick.\n\nThe last thing that I remembered as I went in and out of consciousness, was hoping that at least their hospitals were of an acceptable degree. Briefly glancing the [directory](http://www.seenox.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Funny-Chinese-Mistranslation-40.jpg) as I was wheeled into the operating theater, my heart dropped.\n\n----------------\n\nWhat's a story without real-life examples? I write at /r/dori_tales\n\n" ]	[ 1, 1, 2, 7, 9, 12, 41 ]	[ "1506060424", "1506095690", "1506096027", "1506074748", "1506081693", "1506075328", "1506073404" ]
[removed]	[WP] Jesus and the Caesar.	1	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nPrompts go in the title. You can add more in the text, but avoid [too many details](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/prompts?src=RECIPE). \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/71si9v/wp_jesus_and_the_caesar/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1506101110", "1506101883" ]
[removed]	[WP][NSFW] Introverted, inexperienced yet erotic college boy gets a new room mate who is his definition of stunningly hot, she also is erotic but more fiery, and revealing of it. One night he realizes her signals and he takes a chance and they have sensual mind blowing sex.	0	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "no erotica" ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1506109052", "1506109165" ]
	[WP] You are the Anti-Chris	7	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Many know of the story of the great Christopher Columbus. The one who sailed the great ocean blue, discovered the new world and achieved many great things. \n\nHe took his fleet of three ships to the Americas, the Nina, the Pinta, and his flagship the Santa Maria. However, many do not know that Columbus only returned with 2 ships, his flagship was destroyed somewhere on the voyage.\n\nMany believe it was because he only left a cabin boy to steer at night and the winds blew the mighty ship into a sandbar. However, that's just a cover up for the real story....\n\nBahamas 1492, April 15, Entry 64\n\nWe arrived four weeks ago and so far have met only one tribe. They call themselves the Nahial, and their leader is a brown man called Chief Ghilp.\n\nWe have \"traded\" with the natives for their valuables and took most of them, robbing them of their gold and jewels. We have also marked many of them as our slaves for when we return. They appear that they will make good ones.\n\nToday Columbus plans to inform them that they are now Spanish property, something that will most likely be meet with resistance.\n\nApril 16, Entry 65\n\nColumbus informed the natives of their situation and how they are now Spanish and must follow our laws. It didn't go well to say the least, we had to threaten them severely.\n\nThey didn't like our threatening to burn down their village and kill them all, but it worked... for now, at least. \n\nApril 22, Entry 66\n\nThe natives are pissed to say the least, apparently out threats didn't work and only got them really angry. We tried again but it just made matter worse.\n\nColumbus tried to negotiate something by giving some gold back but they want us gone, and now.\n\nI feel like they will try to attack us, which will only result in their deaths since they have inferior weapons. But I hope it won't happen, Chief Ghilp is a wise man and would never make a grave mistake like attacking us.\n\nApril 24, Entry 67\n\nI was wrong, these natives are very stupid, they attacked and killed Pablo yesterday. Pablo was like a brother to all of us and the natives knew that, so they killed him.\n\nWe killed five of theirs in retaliation and that seemed to not help, these natives don't understand the mistake they made. Columbus said if this happens again we will kill them all. God, I already miss Pablo...\n\n3RD PERSON\n\nThey came under the cover of darkness with torches, spears, and knives. The natives approached the flagship with caution looking out for guards.\n\nThe white men didn't put any guards out tonight so the natives could easily sneak up and do what they have been planning for days.\n\nApproaching the wooden ship they climbed aboard with stealth and precision, careful not to make a noise. They dropped their torches on the deck of the ship and lit fires on the ship.\n\nThe fires grew bigger and bigger and eventually spread throughout the whole entire deck. At this point the crew was waking up due to the smell of smoke.\n\nPanic ensued on the Santa Maria as the ship burned, but most of the crew got off safely, including Columbus. However some did die during the great fire.\n\nColumbus gathered his crew at the base of the Nina and got them organized. He sent them out in groups of 5 to hunt the natives, he wanted them all dead but he wanted the Chief brought to him.\n\nHours passed and Columbus sat by waiting for his crew to return with the native Chief. He knew what he would do with him, and it wouldn't be nice.\n\nHis crew hunted for hours and they eventually killed them all. They found the Chief sitting calmly in his hut, they tied him up and brought him to Columbus.\n\n\"Who do you think you are?!\" Columbus shouted at the native Chief in front of him.\n\n\"I, Chief Ghilp of the Nahial people, am the Anti-Chris, the bane of you Christopher Columbus.\"\n\nEnraged at these words Columbus shouted at his men to tie Ghilp to a stake and burn him alive. While Ghilp was burning you could here him laughing and shouting, \"I am the Anti-Chris.\"\n\n\n\nSpain 1493, November, Entry 106\n\nWe've been in Spain for a few days and we have all been declared as heroes. We were asked questions about where the Santa Maria was, but we couldn't bare to tell them the true story. \n\nColumbus told us that if we ever spoke about that night he would personally kill us. Nobody outside of our crew would ever know what actually happened to the Santa Maria.\n\nThe Queen of Spain even thinks a stupid cabin boy ran it into a sand bar. Oh I wish she could know, but the story of the Anti-Chris shall never be told again.....\n", "I always knew there was something wrong with me. Well, not wrong just not right. \n\nI was destined to be mighty, powerful, terrifingly magnificent. Societies were to crumble before my eyes as I inflicted eternal suffering on any being of my choosing. Stories were to be passed down through the generations, grandparents warning children of my wroth. Whispers in the street as no one dared to speak my name for fear of calling me from the underworld.\n\nBut there was an..incident.\n\nI was never the brightest. I mean, I did ok. I tried my hardest to fit in at school. Dad said they were teasing me because they were jelous of my destiny. But Abbadon said it was because of my big ears. It's not my fault they stick out at the sides.\n\nMum said it would get better.\n\nHigh school was hell. Well, obviously it was hell. But in a less literal sense, it was a nightmare. Abbadon ended up in all my classes. The teachers expected me to be a little wild, break a few rules, follow in my father's footsteps as the future anti-Christ. In reality I spent my time dodging Abbadon in corridors, trying not to get sharpie on my back (perminant marker has a whole new meaning down here), and avoiding getting my head shoved in any toilets. \n\nOn the very last day of school I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to show him who was boss. I was going to be the fucking Anti-Christ, he had made a powerful enemy. I needed to send a message.\n\nThe last day of school here is known as \"Naming Day\". You are officially ordained into your destiny role; Prince of Demons, President of Hell etc. It's like graduating. You stand before the school in a gown of flames and your name is enscribed in an iron ledger by a fellow student with the blood of a pure angel and the hair of a virgin. Standard stuff.\n\nOnly the student who was chosen to enscribe my name was Abbadon. And I had just swapped his flaming gown for a dressing gown. And he had to wear it. Because school policy states if you don't wear \"a gown\" you can't graduate. And he hadn't had time to find a flaming one. And everyone thought it was hilarious. And I was in deep deep shit.\n\nHe lifted his pen to the iron ledger and smiled at me, his mouth just turning up at one side. He wrote. The headmaster checked it. The ceremony was performed. He winked as he left the stage. I thought I had gotten away with it.\n\nBut I never developed the antichrist powers.\n\nInstead I developed no special talents. I am not funny like Chris Rock. Not loved like Chris Pratt. Not musically inclined like Chris Brown. I am no one. I don't even have a name.\n\nI am the Anti-Chris\n\n" ]	[ 1, 1, 4 ]	[ "1506169829", "1506281925", "1506202850" ]
	[WP] Arthur Weasley discovers what the Internet is.	151	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "It was a good thing she had the house to herself today, Hermione mused, poring over a lengthy parchment. She had a veritable avalanche of paperwork to get through. Distractions, even ones as dear as her husband, were not what she needed. She was finally making headway with the Department for the Control and Regulation of Magical Creatures. Her signatures here could make a real difference in the lives of British house elves. Oh, the Department was obstinate, but not half so obstinate as Hermione Granger, crusader for--\n\nBang. Thump. Clatter.\n\nHer hand went automatically to her wand. The abandoned quill rolled onto the desk and left a blot of ink. \"Ron?\" She took a cautious step toward the door of her office. \"Is that you?\"\n\nCrazed footsteps--someone was barrelling up the stairs. Hermione prepared a slew of spells to immobilize the intruder.\n\n\"Hermione!\" The stranger burst through the door, and with a wave of relief, she saw it was just Mr. Weasley. But her nerves twinged again when she took in the state of him. Eyes wild, shoulders hunched, staring around as though he were being hunted. \"I-I'm afraid I've made a terrible mistake,\" he said.\n\nIt was strange how quickly her body flooded with memory as well as adrenaline--months in hiding, always one step from danger--\n\n\"What is it, Arthur?\" She transferred her wand's aim from her father-in-law to the door. \"What's happened?\"\n\n\"It's... Well, it's the internet.\"\n\nHermione blinked. Lowered her wand slightly. \"The... internet?\"\n\n\"Yes, yes, yes.\" He ran a hand through what remained of his hair, leaving it sticking out at a ridiculous angle. His ears were bright red. \"You see, ever since you showed me how to work it, I've been... well, Molly says obsessed, which I think is a bit of an overstatement, but really! The sheer amount of information there is to be found!\" For a moment, his expression shifted to one of misty-eyed wonder.\n\n\"It is incredible, I agree. But the terrible mistake?\"\n\n\"Ah, yes.\" Arthur removed his glasses and cleaned them with his shirttail, looking vaguely embarrassed. \"Well, I discovered how easy to is to talk to Muggles. Real, live Muggles, Hermione!\"\n\n\"Right. No one could expect you to resist such a temptation.\"\n\n\"Yes, but I seem to have made one... angry. He has become quite threatening. Normally, of course, I wouldn't feel vulnerable to a Muggle, but I'm afraid this one may well be a threat to the Statute of Secrecy itself. He says he intends to track me down.\"\n\n\"Track you down?\" Now that the danger was seeming less urgent, Hermione tucked her wand away and ushered Arthur to the armchair by the bookshelf. She turned the chair from her desk around to face him. \"How can he do that?\"\n\n\"He said something about an-- an EP address?\"\n\nHermione's brow furrowed. \"Oh, an IP address.\"\n\n\"Yes, precisely. He says I'm being traced. Can that truly be done?\"\n\n\"Well, theoretically,\" she admitted. \"What on earth did you say to this person?\"\n\n\"Oh! I was trying out some of my internet slang!\" Arthur looked caught halfway between pride and guilt. \"I've been called a 'noob' once or twice so I thought I'd try the word out on someone. The fellow seemed, er, less than receptive.\"\n\n\"That's it?\" Hermione wasn't sure if she wanted to sigh or laugh. \"Arthur, I doubt he's a real threat to you. He was just trying to scare you. In fact, odds are he's a teenager.\"\n\n\"Oh, no, Hermione.\" He pointed a grave finger at her as if to silence her assumption. \"That's the most worrying part of it all. He's not only an adult, but he's part of the American Muggle military.\"\n\nSomething in Hermione's memory itched. \"He is?\"\n\n\"And he tells me he's made over three hundred kills. Imagine! The things Muggles do to one another.\" Arthur shook his head. \"He also assured me that he is unusually skilled in the art. Is it really possible for one Muggle to kill another with his bare hands?\"\n\n\"Arthur...\"\n\n\"Oh, I haven't even mentioned the secret network of spies. Not to mention... the gorillas.\"\n\n\"Arthur, I don't think this is anything you need to worry about.\"", "The stair creaked as Mr. Weasley walked to the first floor. \"Harry? Where are you?\"\n\nA muffled reply sounded through the closed door on the left. \"I'm here, Mr. Weasley.\"\n\nWith a soft pant Mr Weasley arrived at the top of the stairs. \"Ginny asked me to talk to you about something, do you have a moment?\"\n\nThe door opened, and a man in his twenties appeared in front of it. His black hair was unkempt, but not enough to hide the outline of his lightning bolt-scar. Round glasses sat on his nose, the green eyes behind them happy as he extended his arm. \"Always good to see you, Mr. Wea- er, Arthur.\"\n\nArthur Weasley grabbed the hand in return and shook it vividly. \"Like-wise, Harry. So, anyway, Ginny asked me-wait a second\", he paused, \"is that a computer?\" He shifted his feet and leaned on his toes to glance past Harry.\n\nHarry couldn't help the faint smile that appeared on his face. Mr. Weasley had always been a Muggle-freak, interested in just about everything that concerned them and their activities. \"Yeah,\" Harry replied, as he gestured Mr. Weasley to follow him into the room. \"I just use this as my office now, basically. Lots of things magic can replace but this is still a handy thing to have.\"\n\n\"It's splendid.\" Mr Weasley's eyes lit up as he walked towards the desk. \"I haven't seen a computer since, two, no- three years ago. One of my colleagues seized one but before I'd arrived back at the office they'd already wiped it clean and send it back. Very unfortunate.\"\n\n\"You can use it, if you want, I wasn't doing anything particularly interesting,\" Harry said, as he offered Mr. Weasley his chair. \"Do you want me to explain you how it works?\", he added, another grin forming on his face as Mr. Weasley tried to move the cursor by dragging his finger over the screen. \"Funnily enough that's not as strange as it used to be, but here,\" he pointed at the mouse, \"that's where you control it with. Move around and the cursor will follow, and click with the left button and you select something.\"\n\nMr. Weasley carefully placed his hand on the mouse, as if it was a brittle new-born that would break under his grip. Slowly but surely he edged it over the mousepad, and clicked on a file. A text document appeared on the screen in a flash, causing Mr. Weasley to startle backwards. \"Ingenious,\" he mumbled in himself. \"Marvelous what they can come up with.\"\n\n\"That's just a tax file, from the Muggle side of things,\" Harry explained. \"But what I think you'll find really interesting is that thing over there,\" he pointed on the screen, \"the Internet. Yes, that's right, hover over it, and now click twice. Oops, sorry, my bad, twice in rapid succession. Then it should load, yes, there we go.\"\n\nA white screen with colorful letters had appeared on the screen. \"What is this, Googul?\", Mr Weasley asked.\n\n\"Well, it's a search engine, basically. Think of it like this: it has access to loads of things on the internet, and if you type something in with the keyboard here, it will give you thousands, millions of results related to the thing you searched for. So let's say, London, you'll get pictures, statistics, maps, you name it.\" Harry somewhat enjoyed the irony of him explaining something so simple as a computer\nto someone from the Magic world, as everything they had explained to him after his eleventh birthday had been equally absurd, if not more, for his Muggle raised-self.\n\n\"So everything is in there, in the computer?\" Mr. Weasley asked, poking at the screen.\n\n\"Not quite in there, that's the screen, but in the computer, in the case over there,\" he gestured, \"some files are stored. But the internet, no. Think of the internet like...like a network. Like the Floo network, but then instead of fireplaces you have computers. And then where you travel in is the internet, and it's filled with just about everything.\"\n\n\"Unbelievable,\" Mr. Weasley muttered. \"So if I use this, let me see here,\" he said as he steadily placed the keyboard in front of him and started pushing buttons, \"so I should be able to find something about this...\" He finished typing. \"And what now?\"\n\n\"Press the enter button on the keyboard, it's right in the middle, yep, that one. There you go.\"\n\n\"0 results!\", Mr. Weasley exlaimed. \"I think it's broke!\" With a panicky look in his eyes he turned to Harry. \"Don't tell me I just broke the internet, Harry!\"\n\nHarry laughed. \"No sir, it's fine, but as you should know, the Ministry removes just about everything there is related to us, even on the internet. So you're not going to find anything about...Quidditch.\"\n\n\"Ah yes, of course.\"\n\n\"But\", Harry said as he leaned over the keyboard and typed in something, \"you could watch a video of something like this, I'm sure you'll find that interesting.\"\n\nA red with white bannered website started to play a video of a massive passenger plane lifting off. The roar of the engines through the speakers startled Mr. Weasley again, but he leaned forward again and enthusiastically stared at the screen. \"So you guys can use moving pictures, and even with sound! Quite the improvement over your newspapers, if I may say so.\"\n\nAnd forgetting what he initially came to do, the two men sat in the office for another half an hour exploring a new and massive world of wonder." ]	[ 1, 25, 94 ]	[ "1506178653", "1506180868", "1506180585" ]
I posted this before, got 10 upvotes but no comments before getting buried. Hoping that this time is different.	[WP] It's the year 2782. You're hanging out with your alien friends one night and browsing Netflix, wondering what to watch. Then a title catches your attention: "Star Trek. The Original Series"	363	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "“Arto, you want to Netflix & chill?” \n\n“Sure why not. Which year should we watch?” \n“Let's see... This like fun. From 1966. Star Trek. Okay for you?” \n\n“Haha! The oldies. Screen it up, Marco! Screen. It. Up.” \n\nI open it up. The oldies picture start to move on our super tech water screen. Super as in water screen is the only tech in this time that can show the real antique video format. Luckily my grandpa inherited from his grandpa who inherited from his grandpa. \n\nSo we watch it for hours. It looks so familiar. It was listed under fiction but what Arto & I watch now is close to documentary. I guess Netflix don't really update their archive. What a lazy bunch of being. \n\n“Man... I envy them for having time machine,” says Arto. \n\n“Me too. Whoever the bastard that decide to destroy that technology is a pure asshole. Keeping it for himself & laugh from the ethereal realm at us. Must be fun for him.” \n\n“Yeah... Can't believe they made a exploration documentary in their old age tech. Super fun.” \n“Yeah... Enterprise now is a relic in museum.” I close the water screen & head to the toilet. \n\nSeriously, I envy them ancient people and their time machine. ", "\"Warp engine?\" K'Rax let out a sound Jeremy knew was supposed to be a laugh for K'Rax's species. \"Everyone knows spaceships can't handle the strain of travelling in warpspace.\"\n\n\"And seriously, two warp engines on a single vessel?\" Jeremy snorted in reply. \"That's just asking for trouble.\"\n\nIn old times, warp drive was one of several popular-in-SF ways one could travel faster than light. By 2782, not only did it become real but it was also revealed it's extremely dangerous to use. The larger the spaceship is, the more its hull is strained and stretched while travelling in warpspace. On top of that, it was revealed that putting two active warp engines near one another would produce a Tyson field, a tear in the space, which would push the spaceship back into realspace and probably break it apart into several parts, if it didn't already fall apart just by travelling in warpspace.\n\n\"Now, now,\" Serene said. \"This is an 800-years-old SF TV show. Do you seriously think they would have known that stuff back then?\"\n\n\"Well, no,\" K'Rax started. \"But it still strains my suspension of disbelief.\"\n\n\"Oh, you're just impossible.\"\n\n\"Ah, it's okay, \" Jeremy shrugged. \"I'll be able to buy it as long as they don't start putting other silly stuff into the show, like 'replicating' food out of nothing, or making 'holo-pictures' that are not actually real and are powered by AI.\"\n\n\"Hak hak hak, yes,\" K'Rax laughed again. \"Now, that would be stupid. Surely, they knew you can't create someting out of nothing even back in 20th century, right?\"" ]	[ 1, 16, 66 ]	[ "1506221126", "1506242842", "1506249523" ]
	[WP] With no strength left, you can but watch as the archer lets loose his arrow, and you feel a strange calm settling. The next thing you know, you are looking at a back you remember so well, that lovely familiar scent, with the arrowhead sticking out of it. A chill travels through you.	4	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Sweet. Maybe a little metallic. It’s heavy, thick even. Your mind recognizes it and kicks adrenaline in. The scent of blood is enough to heighten the senses of any man. It’s one thing to have a nose bleed and experience the smell. It’s a whole other experience to see hundreds of corpses bathing it in all around you. I might never cook meat again. The scent of my brothers burning flesh is something akin to a roast, but far more revolting. Mead can make a man feel like the world is turning around him, sure, but the ache in my head makes seeing anything clearly nearly impossible. I’ve been tired before after a day’s hard work in the fields, or after traveling for a week to the next city, but nothing compares to this exhaustion. A man may see fights in his life, but that will never prepare him for war. War is blood, war is horror, war is pain, war is and unending and absolute. I have lost this war. \n\nHe saw me, kneeling here. He was among the few left alive on their side of this battlefield.\n\nI was all that was left of my side. Was. Of course he knew this, as he cautiously approached me with the bow in his hand. Only two arrows were left in the quiver on his back. \n\nMy my, we were busy today, hmm? \n\nHe took one of them from the quiver slowly, as he marched closer and closer to my wheezing, crippled body. It was a wonder to me that I managed to keep upright, at least while crouching on one knee. I hadn’t noticed the smell of blood so strongly before, in the heat of battle. \n\nDo I smell my blood or those around me?\n\nAnother shuttered breathe passed my lips and he was another foot closer to me. The bringer of my death. The patron saint of my end. Might as well have been every fear I’d ever had walking towards me slowly, ever so cautiously. \n\nMight as well accept it. Just close your eyes. Bow before defeat, and sleep deeply when it’s over. \n\nI chuckled low to myself at the acceptance of my own doom, and was rewarded with pain a spasm up my torso. I thought bitterly of how quite the battlefield was now. With so many dead there was little left to make any sort of noise. A breeze highlighted my many cuts and wounds, but was still somehow pleasant. It was almost calm. Eyes closed, death approaching, and body broken my final thought led to her.\n\nBubbly honey mead golden as the sun was nothing as colorful as her hair. The sun itself shown with her brilliance. Green eyed, plumb lipped and full of heaven itself. Her voice was like the first time you heard music, every time she spoke. The rising and falling of her cadence was more magnificent than any bard. The way she said my name. \n\n“Arlok,” she’d say. With emphasis on the A and a rolling of the R. \n\nI’ll die with her in my mind. \n\nThe scent she carried wasn’t fruity, or of a meadow in the spring. It wasn’t a river dancing down the icy mountains or even a breeze that tells of changing seasons. It was flesh and blood. It was warmth and love. It was human in every way and it was love. \n\nAn arrow. Figures. \n\nThat scent left with her life. An arrow entered and exited her body. When it left it took her life and her scent. It took my sanity. It took every life that I’ve crushed in my hands since she passed. One arrow, and a hundred dead. \nThe arrow about to pierce my skull won’t kill that many. Maybe it will lead me to her. \n\nThrough tears and blood I can see the man has stopped before me. I guess he’s decided he’s close enough to end this war. To end my life once and for all. \nI can’t smell her anymore. I can’t… all I had in this world. My vengeance, my rage. All gone. Now only sorrow. Crippling, agonizing, blazing sorrow. This arrow will feel wonderful compared to the black hole in my heart. \n\nCreaking.\n\nThe twang of a bow string.\n\nSomething bellowing through the air. \n\nThunk. Metal in flesh. \n\nI’m dead. \n\nMy death was painless. I never even felt the arrow as I collapsed. Oddly enough death is pretty exhausting. Is hell supposed to smell like burning flesh and blood? I suppose that would make sense. \n\nI opened my eyes to the battlefield and a pair of boots. Between the pair of boots I saw my killer, lying on the ground with an arrow protruding from his forehead. I didn’t have the strength to look up passed the boots. \n\nWho was still alive? We lost… we are all dead. I’ll die before I figure out who gave me a few more seconds of life. At least there’s hope we can continue on. \nI thought that it was time to die. Time to leave this wretched wreaking battlefield. Just as I felt myself giving in to the dark embrace that faced me, the scent of the world around me changed just slightly. For but a fraction of a second I smelled warmth, and love. Someone said my name. \n\n“Arlok, please! Breathe!” She shrieked. All music in her voice was gone. Just terror and pain now. \n\nThe world takes everything. Even the music is gone. \n\nI passed into the darkness filled with pain and regret. I’ll never hear her music again. \n\n\n\n\n\n\n" ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1506236218", "1506245374" ]
	[WP] Write the best mystery story you can write, from the perspective of Grant. A third grader, trying to figure out who stole his pencil.	16	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Taking a seat at my desk, I drew a deep breath. I already knew what had happened. The paper was there, the singular yellow crayon with it’s wrapping, sticker thing, was partly torn, but it was missing. \n\nI closed my eyes, I didn’t want to have to go back to that life. I was done with it. Last recess I’d promised myself I was out of the game. \n\nMy fists clenched, I slowly opened my eyes. My pencil, not any normal pencil, it was…one of those ones, you know, where it’s like you click it like a pen and bit comes out? But that didn’t matter, it could’ve been anything of mine. I knew this would come back to me one day. A man can only walk the thin line of good and evil before evil takes revenge. So be it. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. \n\nI cleared my throat loudly, Mrs Paskins looked at me…with what? Was there something in her eyes? How much could I really trust her? There were no other options. She spoke in that tone that most teachers speak, annoyed, frustrated, maybe a bit constipated. \n\n“What is it Kevin?” she said, “Firstly, it’s Kelvin. Secondly, I think it’s story time. And I have made one all by myself to share with the class”. Mrs Paskins sighed and tried to roll her eyes. I couldn’t care, I already knew how this was going to end and I was prepared for it. \n\nShe raised a hand, and like sheep they all stopped doing what they were doing, she spoke “Looks like Kevin has finished his story and would like to come up and share. Can you put your pencils down for five minutes”\n\nI picked up my toothpick and put it in the corner of my mouth. I walked, slow. Taking a long look at all of them. Rats. I got to the front, nodded at Mrs Paskins and mouthed “Kelvin”. She didn’t care. But I did. \n\nI took the toothpick out of my mouth and using it as a sword I pointed it across the room. They waited with baited breaths. Good. Let them sweat it out. I put the toothpick back in my mouth and slid my hand in my pocket…uh oh. \n\nIn flashbacks it came to me. Just before going to the toilet. I slipped the pencil in my pocket because I knew none of them would be able to resist getting their hands on it. This was not good and would take all of my mental strength to get out of without a scrape. \n\n“I’m a little tea pot, short and…” before I could finish, just as I had predicted, Mrs Paskins shout out “that Kevin is not an original story. Can you please take your seat and write a story about what you did during the summer?” her eyes narrowed. My eyes narrowed “It’s Kelvin”. ", "My eyes narrowed as they jumped from suspect to suspect. It could have been any of them, really. They all act so innocent, diligently writing. I could be writing. I want to be writing. But one of these poopheads did it. So here I am.\n\nWas it Maria? Out for revenge for the time I beat her in foursquare? Or maybe it was Tommy. He probably has some grand scheme to ruin me because I played with Evan last recess.\n\t\n“Grant?” I was torn from my thoughts.\n\t\n“y-yes, Mrs. Wilks?”\n\t\n“Are you okay? Have you started on the assignment yet?”\n\t\n“N-no. I mean, Yes, I’m okay. C-can I go to the bathroom?”\n\t\n“How many bathroom passes do you have left?”\n\t\nI scowled. Not many. My reserves were running low and I had to keep the rest for emergencies. But gosh darn it, if this wasn’t an emergency, I don’t know what is! “I-I have two!”\n\t\n“Okay, don’t take long! You only have ten more minutes to finish up your work!”\n\t\nMy eyebrows furrowed as I stalked the halls. Maybe I need to look at the bigger picture. What if it was Mrs. Wilks? No, she wouldn’t do that. I have to look at the evidence. Replay the story.\n\t\nIt was 11:17 when I noticed something was amiss. I sat down at my desk and something about it felt empty. Kara, my tablemate, was avoiding my glance as I searched for my pencil. Suspect Number One. I got up for water, to get a bird’s eye view of the room. Calvin was laughing with Evan. But Tommy was silent. Maybe he knows something. Maybe he did it. Suspect number Two.\n\t\nMaria stuck her tongue out at me when she realized I was scrutinizing her. She always did hate me, and this is right up her alley. Suspect Number Three.\n\t\nI made it to the bathroom safely and began to pace in front of the urinals. Which of these buttfaces would go so far as to take that which is dear to me? It was my favorite pencil, gosh darn it! It had little dinosaurs printed on it!\n\t\nWait. Dinosaurs. The only person who loves dinosaurs more than me would be—The bathroom door opened. I ducked into a stall.\n\t\n“Grant?” Kevin. Suspect Number Four. Probably here to gloat about how he stole it. “Mrs. Wilks sent me to get you ‘cause you’ve been gone for a while.” A likely story. I kept my mouth shut. “Grant?” I heard the bathroom door shut behind him and I slowly exited the stall.\n\t\nThis is it, the showdown. It has to be him. It’s all too perfect. He even came in from recess before me. “Y-you just couldn’t take it, could you Kevin.”\n\t\n“huh?”\n\t\n“You couldn’t take having me have a better pencil than you.”\n\t\n“Your dinosaur one?”\n\t\nMy eyes narrowed. “yes, my dinosaur one.”\n\t\n“Yeah, it’s pretty cool I guess. Mrs. Wilks wants you come back now.” He turned and left the bathroom. He didn’t seem nervous at the confrontation at all. There was no guilt on his face. No panic as the realization that I knew set in. Maybe he wasn’t the one.\n\t\nI splashed my face with some water. This case was getting to me. I need a drink. Something strong. Maybe some orange juice. This’ll just have to wait until after lunch.\n\nEDIT: I don't know how to format..." ]	[ 1, 1, 9 ]	[ "1506266193", "1506290655", "1506273061" ]
	[WP] "You insulted the shark. Now apologize."	6	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\"Right now, apologize!\" the tour guide nearly yelling at me said.\n\n\"I'm sorry I said that about all of your teeth, Clarence, I think you're really cool\" I said, staring at the shark hovering in the water beyond the layered glass tank window.\n\n\"Think nothing of it, human, we are of a different species, of course we will have our differences.\" the shark replied after the few seconds it took for a computer to translate what I had said and beam it into the sharks mind, and back into a speaker in the observation room at the zoo.\n\n\"Man, they really got carried away with that brain mapping research. Talking sharks? What the hell?\" I whisper to my 13 year old daughter, who's face was bright red with embarassment. \"I. Hate. You. Take me home now.\"\n\nI just wanna go talk to the dolphins again, they were nice. " ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1506282715", "1506306725" ]
	[WP] The earth resets to a far past, the only thing that lacks there is that time's humanity, and the only thing that persisted is us, the 7 billion humans from 2017.	4	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "So 10 months ago the earth ressetted yet all 7 million people stayed on earth. \n\nAt first people tried to stay calm but that didn't work for long. \n\nI was put into a forest with all my friends in the car with me during the reset. \n\nThey tried to kill me because I pissed them off so I ran. \n\nTwo days after my escape I hear a massive explosion.\n\nI find a massive clearing that had three things in it, \n\nA white guy only wearing basketball shorts,\n\nA camera,\n\nAnd a massive space shuttle ready to launch.\n\nHe looks at the camera and says \"That's it for primitiveTechnology, it's been a good run.\".\n\nI go up and ask him how he did this since society reset. \n\nHe asked me what the fuck am I talking about. \n\nHe's been living in the forest forever and has no idea that society has fallen.\n\n._." ]	[ 1, 4 ]	[ "1506296518", "1506297518" ]
	[WP] One day you discover your middle name is Danger	5	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\"You're saying that your mother had the last name of 'Danger' and you never knew about it?\"\nChris, in his spider undies, said as he prepared a pot of coffee.\n\n\"For 24 years, I've never thought to ask what was her last name was.\" I nodded as I was accepting the cup of joe. We sat in silence listening to the traffic outside. \n\n\"I mean,\" Chris took a sip, \"who would?\" He set his cup down, \"It doesn't make you a bad son, I still don't know what my mom's first name is!\" \n\nI started coughing a fit,\"This coffee is crap and how do you not even know your own mother's name?\" \n\nHe leans forward, \"That's not the point, the point is that people forget to ask specific questions you should've asked when you first met them.\"\n\n\"Like, how many pairs of Spider-Man underwear does my divorced forty-two year old roommate own?\"\n\nSilence.\n\n\"You.\" Chris slowly stood from his chair, \"Do not.\" He points his finger at me,\"Mention.\" He leans in closer, \"The lucky undies.\" He stands over the table for an uncomfortable amount of time. \n\n\"How many?\" I replied to break the silence.\n\n\"Sixty-nine.\" Chris said, without missing a beat. I shook my head while trying not to giggle . Chris may be twice my age, but he's the closest thing I have to a friend. \"So what do you say we head out tonight to find that mythical thirty-something red headed super model virgin that look suspiciously close to that girl in 204 I've dreamed about for the past decade, Mr. David DANGER Decker? Or should I say, 'Triple D'?Would you choose to accept this mission?\"\n\nI took offense, \" The whole middle name thing didn't even come from James Bond or Mission Impossible, and you didn't even say-\" \n\nHe shushes me, \"With you by my side, 'Triple D', i now have a new line of pickup lines to try on the elusive female.\" He walks out with just his Spider-Man undies. \n\n\"How much of that 'special' brownie did you eat...\" I looked down to see the entire batch wiped clean. \n\n\"Enough to kill Snoopy, my dear friend.\" \nHe said as he jumped off the roof of the building. \n\n\n" ]	[ 1, 4 ]	[ "1506330975", "1506337599" ]
	[WP] You are an elder god. While drifting through the curtain of reason, you swerve to avoid a human. Unknown to you, the human pledges a life debt to you. In your darkest hour, the human arrives.	123	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Existence is a tricky thing.\n\nFor the mortals, drifting through their almost imperceptibly short lives on their material plane, it is a test of will and faith.\n\n\nThey are faced with something most immortals have never considered, let alone confronted with only a stalwart stare and sturdy heart as their weapons.\n\n\n\nAye, and the mortals find themselves stricken with fear and despair, pain and destruction, woe and existential dread.\n\n\nThey live so little, but in the same time they live so large.\n\nThey live, and in doing so they leave their marks across the aeons in a way that makes all yearn for immortality in their own way.\n\n\nSome have left behind monuments which whisper of gods and bellow of the dead.\n\nSome have left behind scars which balk at divine direction and wail of mortal shortsightedness.\n\nMost are echoes which last for but a generation after their gone, while fewer loom so large their names drift like phantoms through the ages to light upon the lips of so many who never knew the soul which answered to that call.\n\n\nThe most remarkable thing mortals have accomplished, and in that which so very few have managed that it is not even a percentage viable for study, is the ascension.\n\n\nSince time immemorial, I have watched the creations of all other gods.\n\n\nI have counted my clocks and watched their arms.\n\n\nI have lingered in the void, seeing all that was and all that is and all that will be.\n\n\nI have known since all began, and since all ended, that the day would come when but one mortal would finally come and rescue that which was meant to be in peril.\n\n\nThe lines between planes fade to time.\n\n\nTime continues.\n\n\nForever forward, forever backward.\n\n\nThe mortals must look back to see what was, and in doing so they lose sight of what is and could be.\n\n\nThey look ahead and see what could be, and in doing so lose sight of what is and what was.\n\n\nI have waited for this moment and lived it for eternity...\n\n\nI am the father of time and the mother of timelessness. The eldest and youngest, for all others must bend to my being, but the most isolated of all that is. I have always known that my cruelty would end, and it is in this moment of true eternity that I welcome that which I have never been able to experience...\n\nForever in the void, I welcome oblivion. And in doing so I celebrate my own and another's ascension.\n\n\n\n\nAs the hermit laid his head to rest on the hay pillow the farmer's had brought for him, he felt a heavy weight settle onto his chest.\n\nEvery breath seemed harder, every moment seemed slower. He could feel his heart slow and his body ached, yet his eyes remained true and unclouded by the ages he had witnessed.\n\n\nIn the doorway of a small cottage, surrounded by the trappings of a farm, a weathered farmer and his morosely beautiful wife watched as the hermit who had arrived only days before seemed to shrink further and further in on himself in their eldest daughter's bed.\n\n\nUnwilling, or perhaps unable to speak, the hermit had been nothing if not a silently caring soul who seemed to know the end was near. Through their own virtue, the farmer and his wife had taken the hermit in from the ravages of the outside in hopes they could help him.\n\n\n\"Is there anything we can do?\" The farmer's wife quietly quivered to her husband.\n\n\n\"Nay, this is his time. 'F'only he'd told us what his name was so we could bury him proper.\" The farmer scratched his chin as he muttered, \"'F'only...\"\n\n\nThe moment before the end, for a mortal, is their glimpse into eternity. It is only then that they see as I see. And it is a fleeting glimpse. But one has found the way...\n\n\nThe hermit felt his heart stop. Instead of beginning again, it simply completed a beat. The drums of the war against death went quiet in his ears, as it must for all in the struggle against inevitability.\n\nHis eyes were wide as he looked ahead, but he could no longer see the material plane.\n\nHe saw ghosts of his life, all those he had loved and lost, all those he had hated and kept, all those he had never known and never had. He saw those phantoms drifting from time to time and their names like smoke from the lips of people never having know who they called out. \n\nExistence is a tricky thing.\n\nThe planes are forever connected and forever disconnected. Between them is the place where time is not and nothing is. It is the void, but not oblivion. It is a place where everything isn't but is. The glimpse most have into eternity, the forever and the never, is fleeting.\n\n\nThe hermit had not spoken since his vows a century gone, and as he stared into eternity he saw everything and nothing. A tear broiled forward from each of his eyes, then, and the farmer and his wife watched these as the hermit's tired lips sagged into a frown.\n\n\n\"Is this my fate?\" The hermit's voice wheezed out of him along with the last breath his body would ever have.\n\n\nI have found my way, and you have found yours. Welcome to your rightful place.\n\n\nThe farmer's wife let out a small cry as the hermit's voice dissipated into the room. She hurried away, unwilling to face the reality of inevitability.\n\nThe farmer austerely walked toward the hermit's body and stared down on him. A withered body, thin and masticated from the ravages of a wanderer's life. He wondered at how long the man's beard had been, now tucked beneath the covers. And as the farmer reached down to close the hermit's eyes, he saw a shadowy shape in them.\nAlmost like the phantom circle when you look to directly at the sol, except the farmer was shocked to see such shapes in someone else's eyes.\n\n\nFor the farmer watched as a masticated shadow of a man with a long beard raised a hand to an identical shape, and then the two walked shoulder to shoulder, almost as though deeper into the hermit's eyes.\n\nAnd as he closed those grey eyes, closing off the two now imperceptible shadows within, he could almost hear that same voice which had only just escaped the mysterious guest he had welcomed into his home.\n\n\nIt is important to keep a promise to oneself." ]	[ 1, 38 ]	[ "1506331927", "1506354560" ]
	[WP] After you die, you are revived to the same day when you were 16, getting to relive your life again until your death, making any changes you want. After your 100th revive, you're getting sick of this shit.	1,261	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "ahhhh 17 again. This is the third time I have come to be this wonderful age again\n\nHmmm what should I do different this time; Im gonna ask her out this time and become the person I've always wanted to be. I'll also try harder to succeed at everything.\n\nYES, I have nineties in all my classes, I'm the starting running back for my high school football team and finally dating the girl of my dreams. We've been dating for 2 years now, but I imagined this a lot different. Im used to daydreaming about the sparkle in her eye, I see for what she is now, I didn't know she takes medication to calm the demons in her mind. hmmmm I miss the mystery she once stood for in my thoughts. Also I realized I hate football and miss the struggle I once hated about being an outsider. The thing is, I pretty much know whats in store for the next couple years. ahhh o well.\n\nAre these people real? Im still new to this. Are they the robots or shadowless figures in my dreams. what am I doing? I hate this cycle I'am stuck in!!! I want out!!!! Omg I feel it coming; another panic attack!!! be right back..........\n\nYou know what. It doesn't matter what this is. I love being a teenager again and I love life. Brayden's throwing a party tonight. can't wait woooooo. \n\nAm I really losing my mind or maybe this is what being a teenager feels like again. \nI don't know. bye\n\n", "Your name! he demanded, sharply Robert Billings Joslyn, United States of America! Your business, Monsieur Joslyn! Rob drew the Record from his pocket and placed it upon the tableThis, sir, said he, is an electrical device that records all important events discontinue Orange stad, and then mail stop 1.200 B, followed by A rub a I wish to call your attention to a scene enacted in Paris last evening which may have an effect upon the future history of your country He opened the lid, placed the Record so that the President could see clearly, and then watched the changing expressions upon the great man’s face; first indifference, then interest, the next moment eagerness and amazement MON DIEU! he gasped; the Orleanists! Rob nodded Yes; they’ve worked up a rather pretty plot, haven’t they? The President did not reply", "“AAAHHHH enough! I want this to stop! Just let me die already!” \n\n“Ahhh… I see you have changed your mind.” \n\n“What? Who are you?” \n\n“I, dear Sean, am the Grim Reaper.” \n\n“Y-you came to get me?” \n\n“I don’t know yet…” \n\n“What do you mean, you don’t know? You are the freaking Grim Reaper! You should know!” \n\n“And since when do you value my judgement so high?” \n\n“Since whe- what do you mean?” \n\n“See Sean, I am old. Very old. Yet, I still have a very keen memory. I remember every soul I have ever touched. Every single one of them. So naturally, I also remember you, Sean. And I remember you very well from when we last met. You were cursing me. Screaming at me and begging me to not take you. Now, as you can imagine, that happens quite often and I usually don’t bother with such irrational human squabbling but you, Sean, you were different. Did you not in your lifetime try to cheat me? Try to manipulate the ways things are? Did you not try to put yourself above all else? Above death?” \n\n“Uhm….” \n\n“You did. Your arrogance had grown so strong- your ignorance so unbearable- that I decided to give you what you wanted: immortality. You would no longer die, you would life ‘forever’.” \n\n“But this is not what I wanted! This is not immortality! This is prison! Every year is the same! Every event has the same outcome no matter what I do! I can’t save anyone. I can’t change anyone. I can’t even warn anyone when their are about to make a mistake. Even if I do, they always end up making the same mistake one way or the other. This is not what I wanted!”\n\n“But you asked for immortality. You experimented with forbidden matters. You told others how they could defile the laws of the universe and try to raise above them. That had to be punished.” \n\n“You took every single one of them…” \n\n“That knowledge could not live on. I am sure, you understand that now.”\n\n“Why didn’t you just take me, too?” \n\n“That would not have been enough, Sean. And I think you know that. You were the one that put these poor souls into this position. You used their greed and ego to accomplish your own goal. I could not let that go unattended. I had to shatter your illusions of grandeur, smash your spirit and beat you down. Now, Sean. Tell me. Did I succeed?”\n\n“... yes!” \n\n“Splendid! Well then, let’s take you to where you belong.” \n", "The first time was amazing, \nAnother chance at life. \n\nThe second time was elegant,\nI took my time at life\n\nThe third time was troubling,\nFor there was little point to life\n\nThe seventeenth time was a farce,\nI was barely clinging unto life\n\nThis was what? ninety? hundredth?\nI had lost track of life\n\nAt sixteen i left my house and turned to drink and drugs. No one could understand my pain and dismissed me as an angry teen. I knew the movements of everything like the back of my hand. All instruments I could play, all movements I had done. I was a composer, fighter, lover, lord, conqueror, murderer, father, scientist, artist. From Zoology to Psychology, literature and Science. I had crafted tales worthy of Pulitzer's, created things that changed the course of men. Wealth and comfort were cleanly in my grasp should i seize it. Everything was in my grasp should i seize it. Yet, the only thing i yearn for could not be obtained. I had bargained with the lord, and in my many lifetimes turned to various religions. They helped me for a few lifetimes but i grew tired of them after awhile. All the prayers, rituals and non replied. Grasping the bottle of scotch halfheartedly, I continued chugging down, ruminating. \n\nI have seen everything,\nThere is no more goal in life", "I died. At a healthy but a short age of 65. It must have been karma. Of all the things I have done. Jealousy, hate and ignorance. My own greed and selfishness.\n\nThen I woke up. As if everything I experienced was a dream. Too vivid and packed with regret. Calling it off like another nightmare, I lived again. Living through the times. Meeting people I saw in my dreams. Fixing and changing the regrets I have had in my dreams. This time, at the end of my life, satisfied and without regrets, I died.\n\nThen I woke up. As if everything I experienced was a dream. Too vivid and packed with bliss but I remember the heart wrenching regrets before I went on living the life of no regrets. Something felt out of place... I... am I alive? In search of answers to my dreams, I've searched and consulted as much as possible but by the time I realized how much I've wasted my life on such nonsensical ambition, I took my final rest forgetting my worries and earthbound problems.\n\nThen I woke up. I get the pattern now: if nobody can help me undestand what is going wrong with me, I will do it myself. I studied to the point of vomiting blood. This was, as far as I can remember, the hardest I have ever studied. Reaching a goal not many have reached. Winning prizes and attaining titles. In the end, I died. A car accident.\n\nThen I woke up. This time I worked harder. I remember all the days of my hard earned knowledge. I set records after records but my nightmares did not feel any closer than before. My deaths were irrelevant and this loop will continue forever. Unless...\n\nI killed myself. Over and over. Each pain felt as real as the next. Gritting my teeth, I jumped from buildings to infintrating army bases. I robbed banks until I got executed. I died from asphyxiation, hunger, dehydration, radiation poisoning, burning, chemical overdose and many other creative ways. But I tried not to harm anyone. From my last life of research, killing might break my mind. To be honest, I thought multiple suicides might fragment my mind to the point I couldn't recognize my past and forget everything but now it was plain boring. It hurts to die but it can only hurt so much until the brain shuts off to save me, which was ironic, since I die either way.\n\nI gave up. Some crazy messed up god was tormenting me. If this was for some sort of cruel experiment of sort on what a normal human would do if they had infinite retries without being able to forget their last lives, then so be it! I will show this god what I can do to his experiment! I have plans. I have knowledge. I have resources. I have time.\n\nI woke up. I studied. I died.\n\nI woke up. I studied. I died.\n\nI woke up. I studied. I died.\n\nInnovation? To hell with that. I am innovation. I made everything. I am god. This is my world. I choose what is right or wrong. Genius of the millennium, the being of absolute justice, the prophet of revelations. I am everything.\n\nLooking down from my eternal spire. I saw my kingdom. Everything under my will and command. I lived this life for about three hundred years. I floated into my deep sleep chamber. I closed my eyes and dreamt. Dreams that I forget. I just did not die. I slept. Forever.\n\nThen I woke up.", "Somewhere along the way, I lost count. Before it ever happened the first time, I always thought the world was a little strange, and I went on thinking that until I was diagnosed with esophageal cancer and died at the age of 53.\n\nThe world is much stranger than I supposed, I guess, because after (although 'after' isn't the precise word) I somehow woke up in my childhood home as my 16-year-old self. I know there's some significance to this particular point in time—it's the day after my friend Joey gave my my first cigarette. Ever since, I was hooked, and couldn't quit.\n\nNow here's the part where you might expect that I explain how I finally quit smoking after multiple lives and finally got to rest in peace, but I'm alive, typing at 47-years-old, and I still smoke. With what's in store for all of us very soon, esophageal cancer isn't that bad, relatively speaking. I'm one of the lucky ones. I don't have kids anymore—I suppose it seems cruel to subject them to such a horrible fate, but I'm just kind of numb to it all.\n\nI need to get more cigarettes.", "\"Thirty-nine, forty, forty-one...\"\n\n\"Can you cut it out?\" \n\n\"Oh come on Sam, you know I'm just nervous\" \n\nSitting strapped in the seat adjacent to mine is Jonathan Lewis, or Johnny, our in-house scientist and botanist, popping his first-flight cherry, and as hard as it is trying to empathize, having went on fifteen total launches spanned over nine lifetimes, I certainly do still have a few fresh memories of 'firsts' to remind me of how nerves can rile you up. \n\n\"Don't worry Jon, it'll be alright, you're with a baby-faced veteran you know. I've spent more hours on the simulator than just about everyone on earth combined.\" \n\n\"Yes sir. Thank you.\"\n\nMy name is Sam, named after my grandfather Samuel, I was born on August 27th 1993, yes I'm a millennial, and accumulatively speaking, I'm five thousand, eight-hundred and ninety years old. A few months away from ninety-one. \nBut in this life I'm twenty-four, and I'm on a mission, hopefully my most fulfilling one yet. \n\n\"Top of his class at Harvard, with a PhD in Molecular Biophysics, already nominated for a Nobel Peace prize, and the youngest captain in NASA's history. I think we'll be in good hands Jonathan.\" \n\nI stopped caring for accolades and ear-tickling titles a long time ago, if only they knew a fraction of what I've actually been through and have done. \n\nIronically my biggest fan on the crew shares my nickname, Samantha, aka Sam, is coming from a small town in Texas, one I've actually passed through a few times in my smuggling days, ones I'm not particularly proud of. \nTo sum Sam up in a sentence is pretty easy, she's got a stunningly beautiful face that masks the mind of one of the greatest astrophysicists that I've seen in all my lives, who doubles as our flight engineer and still somehow maintains quite a lovely knack for conversing. \n\n\"Yeah, yeah, it's no big deal, enough practice and hours studying and you guys could do it too, for now let's go through the protocol one more time, double check the system please, Samantha, and everyone else check your suits and seats, we don't want to start this long trip with a screw-up.\" \n\nIt's happened before. I had tried organizing this trip a few dozen times, many lifetimes ago. I got involved with Elon Musk and his rocket program SpaceX for the first time coming out of a few decades of traveling in South America, following a legend I came across. Such an innovative mind he had but unfortunately complications arose any time I get involved with him, resulting in his inevitable and untimely death, or in a mission failure. So I dropped it, I sensed that working with him wasn't in the plan, and that the myth I spent many years chasing was just that, a myth. \n\nUntil I came across the technology that convinced me otherwise. \n\n\"This is mission control, we are a go on our end, are you ready for countdown?\" \n\nI look over to Sam and she gives the thumbs up, Jon is looking a little pale but nods, our Chinese engineering mastermind Huan Cheng gave a bright smile back, obviously glad to be in the field again, and our Italian scientist Alessandra was finishing up her prayer with the Catholic cross across her chest that I've seen many men do for the very last time more times than I'd care to admit. \nI actually think I feel a surge of excitement, maybe a goosebump even, we're really ready to go. \n\n\"Good to go mission control, I repeat, we are good to go\" \n\n\"Roger that Herodotus, initiating countdown.\" \n\nHearing the mission name always brings flashbacks with it, the amount of time I've spent studying and traveling, the people I've met, the good people that have died, some many more times than others, the amount of sacrifice poured into this, hopefully one day I'll find a way to properly tell the world about it. \n\n\"10\"\n\nThe fountain of youth wasnt considered a logical pursuit in the era of adventuring and exploration that I've been raised in a multitude of times, but in time it proved to be the most probable one to provide a solution to this dilemma I've found myself in after all of these years. \n\n\"9\"\n\nThe first thirty or so lifetimes were spent on personal pursuits, any possible aspect of living that I was any bit interested in, I spent decades mastering. Any bit of fun to be had, places to visit, people to take advantage of, I did. \n\n\"8\"\n\nThe next thirty lives were dedicated to accumulating knowledge and accomplishments, in those I'd been a war hero numerous times, a spy for multiple governments, an archaeologist, highly successful entrepreneurs, an actor, a top-teir submolecular scientist, I read almost as many books that the earth currently contains, and I worked to become the best and smartest version of myself I could be. \n\n\"7\" \n\nUnfortunately, at first, within each individual life the circumstances and situations shaped me the way it does everyone else in their one life, resulting in different life paths, choices, and influences to create different versions of me, and sometimes that resulted in me doing more damage than good, and there were times where the road I'd chosen was less traveled by because of how sinister it was, but like everything else, over time that become a skill I could learn as well. I could carry the knowledge and abilities from my past lives and even remember the details to shape who I would become now. \n\n\"6\"\n\nThe final segment of my lifetimes followed a different route, I spent every waking hour contributing and striving to make this world a better place. I found fulfilment in it, I found joy, and I learned to love people and pursue the best ways to selflessly care for them. \n\n\"5\"\n\nBut the last few ones introduced a pressing new revelation, I was coming up on a hundred lifetimes, some of which lasted well over the average lifespan, and some ended on the very same day I was revived, but after it all, one thought finally entered my mind to start a series of cogs turning that would lead me to find a new pursuit. \n\nWhat is the point if I'm not making any lasting significant changes. \n\n\"4\"\n\nOn the lifetime where it all changed, I awoke on the day that I had become overly familiar with. To sum it up shortly, it's the only perfectly consistent day in every single one of my lifetimes. August 28th, 2009, the morning after my sixteenth birthday, some of the times i would wake up in horror, others inspired, others grateful, and a few times desperate to have it end. \nBut on this one I was determined, I'd remembered where I left off in my research so many centuries before on the fountain of youth and decided to revisit the notion. \n\n\"3\"\n\nMy travels and plethora of years spent researching had led me to ancient civilizations that hadn't been discovered, to people with insight that had never been heard of in the western world, and to most importantly, a small, uninhabited section of the most technologically advanced civilization, never before seen by human eyes. \n\n\"2\" \n\nThere are many answers that are yet to be found, and there is always a chance that who and what we'll be looking for won't be on this planet, in this Galaxy that's a one-way trip away. \n\n\"1\"\n\nBut the only way I can come up with to make sure everything I do in my life actually changes the world for the better, and to make it last, is if my life doesn't end. \n\n\"Blast off!\"\n\nSo we have to try. ", "I get my license today. That is to say, I get my license today again. I've actually been driving for well over three thousand years, if you add up all of my lives together. I've honestly lost count myself. I just know it's a large number. But today is that day. It's always happened on that day.\n\nThe first time it happened, I went to sleep when I was in my seventies and simply didn't wake up. I had been happy with my life. I thought I had done a pretty good job with my time, all things considered. I guess someone had another opinion. After passing away peacefully in my sleep, surrounded by my wife and kids, I woke up in a new body. Not someone else's body - my own. But I was young again. It was a bit of a shock, being able to walk up and down stairs without groaning. My parents didn't believe me. I guess that's what I get for starting out life as a sarcastic prankster. The life I lived before today is just about the only thing I can't change.\n\nFor some reason, the first few lives I relived, I thought I had to do things the same way. I kept myself bound to some kind of imaginary path, trying so desperately to meet the same people, go to the same college for the same job, and have the same experiences. Things were hardly ever the same though, even when I tried to force them to be.\n\nFor instance, I knew who I was going to marry. In my real life, I wouldn't actually meet her until I was 23, but I knew exactly where she lived when I was 16. I visited her too early during my second life. I told her too much. It scared her away. I ended up trying to live the same life without her, but it wasn't even close to possible. The kids were different. The songs weren't as good. Even the career I had loved was influenced by her enough that without her it didn't hold any interest.\n\nThen in my third life, I \"met\" her at the right age, but on the wrong day. Having to relive my life again and again since then, the only thing that still surprises me now is how important the timing actually is. I tried getting jobs that would put me in her path in an attempt to artificially recreate our original spark. By my seventeenth life, I stopped trying to find her. It just hurt too much when she couldn't look at me the way that came so easily for me.\n\nAnd so I gave up on that and lived my lives the way I wanted to. I mastered every musical instrument. I tried out every single profession you can think of - except skydiving instructor, since my fear of heights was the one constant I could never seem to shake. I wasted countless decades playing video games again for the first time. I fathered hundreds of children that didn't actually exist. And I tried to love someone the way I loved her the first time.\n\nI couldn't.\n\nI had no idea how to live my own life again. I've seen some amazing things in these extra lives though. I learned that there is a God, though I still don't know if he's a white-bearded guy sitting in a cloud. I've been able to solve a lot of the world's issues, but even those accomplishments get old after they've been done several times. A few of my lives were lived as a clairvoyant celebrity, since I knew a lot of what would happen. What I found strange though was that a lot of what I predicted the first few times actually didn't come true. Even things like lottery numbers were sometimes different. I couldn't ever figure that one out. But I stopped trying to prevent school shootings and terrorism, because when I predicted them and the perpetrators were caught before they could act, others would take their place. Some life lessons, even the hard ones, will always find a way to be learned. So I stuck to things that couldn't be influenced so easily, like earthquakes and hurricanes.\n\nI've been all over the world so many times over. In one of my lives, I even made enough money to buy everything. I actually owned the world, at least on paper. In that life, I learned that simply owning something doesn't make it yours.\n\nIt's been so long now since I've even seen my wife. My real wife. Perhaps it's time again to try to make it work with her. She makes the best brownies.\n\nWish me luck.", "Do you remember those long road trips you took when you were a kid? Before satellite radio, Ipads, and TV's built into the headrest. When you would stare out out the window for miles and miles and pretend you were a lobster? Thats how I felt the 100th time I woke up in 2002. I didnt even get out of bed this time. I was actually over it after my third ressurection. I was in the back seat again with my eyes lolled into the back of my head. Ive shot myself, stabbed myself, ran into traffic, O'D'd, jumped into a trash compactor, opened my wrists, been whacked out by the mob,but I always just come back to the beginning again. \n\n\"Raaaayyyyy, why arent you getting ready...you have to be at the soccer game in an hour...' My mom yelled from downstairs. Despite myself, the smell of the bacon wafting upstairs always reassured me.\n\n\"Yes, Dolores, I will be ready soon.\" I forgot myself. It didnt really matter though. She would just laugh it off and say \"aww darlin you sound like like an old man.' Thats one of the upsides to my predicament. I may never truly lose my parents. The last time I watched my mother die, I told promised that I would see her again. This will probably be the case for a few more rotations unless things go right. \n\nI came downstairs dressed in my plain white button up that I usually only wore to church. \n\"Why arent you in your uniform, bubba?\" She was in a thick blue robe looking at me over the top of her favorite mug that read \"Lost\"\n\n\"I cant go to practice, I need to catch up on school work.\" I said while walking briskly to the fridge for the orange juice.\n\n\"Well, I'm not going to argue with that.\" \n\nI grabbed the whole container of juice and sprinted outside to my Jeep.\"Good bye, Ma.\" Ive always had a lot of energy so my hasty good bye was not a surprise to her. Plus, I remembered how much I enjoyed having young legs again. I was 120 the last time I died and used a cane to get around up until I died of my fifth M.I. The onset of my heart attack was preceded by a major discovery that I would advance my work by decades. \n\nI rounded the corner to the local library and kept going. I had another 100 miles to go before I arrived at M.I.T. I know they would'nt accept me at first but once they heard advanced knowledge on wormholes, and all of its implications, they would let me right in.", "He looked out the window over the city that he had once loved- New York, once his dream city, now his eternal nightmare. He spun around in his chair, hand still raised as he let out a slow 'wee' sound. On the inside, he was gone.\n\nOne hundred times. That is how many times he had done this, and at this point, there was nothing more to perfect. He had perfected this life- he had a beautiful wife back at home, he had mountains of money, he had won wars and eradicated diseases, but none of it was new.\n\nHe had perfected the Laviver name eighty times now. Twenty lives was all it took to perfect everything- fifty was all it took to have seen most of the trends. At eighty, he was calling the shots and making the predictions.\n\nOne hundred, and he already knew who was walking through the door. He moved his hand from his head, pointing it towards the woman who had walked in- the secretary, a young brunette, one who had worked for him for almost a decade now, and a decade in the life before that, and in the life before that...\n\n\"Do you know how it feels to do this over and over again?\" he said, his hand shaking as he pointed. The woman had raised an eyebrow, bending down to place the papers she was holding on the floor. She sighed, before leaning back up to talk to him.\n\n\"I'm not sure if I do, no,\" she said, voice dull.\n\n\"Do you know how many times I have done this?\" his voice stammered, spinning around in his chair to look back out the window, lowering his hand. \"One hundred. This marks one hundred times.\"\n\n\"One hundred?\"\n\nHe turned around again. \"You don't even know what I'm talking about.\"\n\nShe raised an eyebrow once again. \"I don't think I do, but please explain.\"\n\nHe continued. \"This life. My pathetic, little life. I've lived this same one- I've been Henry Laviver- I've...\" his voice trailed off, his glance sailing downwards before it jerked back up, arm raised again, the threat ever looming. \"I've lived this SAME life one hundred times! And I'm sick of it!\"\n\nThe secretary gave him a blank stare before letting out a slight bit of air and a smile. She began to approach, and Henry's hand began to shake with more violence, more anger. \"What the hell are you doing?\" he muttered, pulling back on the hammer.\n\n\"Can I tell you something I've always wanted to tell you?\" she said, her voice without a hint of hesitation. She placed her hands on the desk, walking around it as the metal followed her face. \"Look here,\" she said.\n\nHenry turned around, looking out the window once again. The city shimmered with the reflective light of a million mortal beings. The secretary raised herself up before sitting down on the desk, swinging her legs forward and she looked down at herself and smiled. She glanced over at Henry. \"Can you put down the gun, please? Let me talk to you.\"\n\nShe stretched out her hand, clapping it around Henry's shaking wrist, slowly removing the weapon from his hand. She placed it on the desk, letting go of his hand and looking into Laviver's eyes. They were cold, and beginning to water. She smiled at him, and then looked back over the city.\n\n\"You know... you've told me about this before. It was on a night like this, in this exact same room, and you were holding this exact same gun.\" She smiled once again before looking down at her legs.\n\n\"No I haven't,\" Henry stated coldly.\n\nShe kept her smile. \"I knew you were going to say that. I said the same thing to you, too... I'm sure you remember.\"\n\nHe just stared at her, the same way she had done just moments ago. \"I know you've done this one hundred times, Henry. I know. And I'm willing to do it again with you for the rest of my lives.\"\n\nThe two of them were silent after that moment. She kept her smile, even as she looked back over the city of New York. Millions upon millions of mortal souls covered the streets. Millions of millions covered the entire globe, and neither of them had the opportunity to be one of them.\n\nBang.\n\ne: format", "You know, after the first time, it was confusing, but slightly interesting. However, it has grown tiring. If you just described it to anyone, they would call it a miracle, a blessing even. Yet nobody actually knew how dull it becomes, except him of course. A few times, he even tried telling people. \n\nAround what he assumed was the 50th time (he had no way of keeping track, except his own thoughts), he even tried making a point to tell everybody. He ended up spending that lifetime in the looney bin. Somewhere along the line, though, he told a good friend of his. Now, him and John were those kinds of high school friends who would love a good zombie apocalypse. Whether he actually believed in me or not was still undecided, but he gave me a good idea. Great idea, even. \n\nSo, here I am, a 16 year old boy, standing at the edge of the roof on the tallest building it town, albeit only 3 stories. Sure, John probably had other ideas in mind, but he didn't understand the situation fully. Nobody did. They couldn't. He had often wondered whether the worlds he left behind were just put through a vcr rewind of time and space, or if there really were multiple universes, and he was leaping through them, leaving behind people who knew that time's Michael. Maybe he just needed it to end a certain way. There was no sense in living out the life as he had many times before. It was always just a waste of time. He had to end it. Really, truly end it. He didn't know how or why this was happening, so he had no clue how to stop it, and it was going to be painful to try this, but he had lived through dying many times, so to speak. \n\nThese kinds of thoughts ran through his head as he stood there. There was nobody around to witness, not even John, as it was late at night in winter. Maybe next time, he'd try a volcano, or diving with sharks, or something interesting. Fatal Fall had to be crossed off the list eventually, though. Might as well start now. Hell, there was a rumor that jumping in front of trains was a popular thing in Japan, maybe he'd go try that soon. The cold air whipped his hair around and stung his cheek slightly. He took one step and-\n\n\"So, how was it?\" asked John.\nI glanced around, taking in the same birthday party I'd seen a hundred times, the same balloons, the same cake, the same wrapping paper, the same John asking the same question.\n\nSigh.", "\"YOU!\"\n\nChrissy sighed, closing her locker door. Down the hall, Mark fumed, his face beet red. Probably looking to start another fight. No one really understood why he'd gotten so aggressive lately - a flip had been switched overnight, and he'd gone from the meekest guy in school to the being detained by the police three times.\n\nChrissy looked down the hall to see who his next victim was, only to watch the area clear out, people scurrying away from her. She felt a hand clasp her arm, tightening around it like a vice.\n\nDragged to the side and slammed against the locker, Mark loomed over her. His hand squeezed harder and harder on her arm - she was sure she'd lost circulation by now, not that that mattered with Mark looking like he'd kill her on the spot.\n\nHis gaze boring into her, she looked away and swallowed hard.\n\n\"Can you... stop... squeezing my arm? It really hurts,\" Chrissy said quietly. She could feel the squeezing stop, though his grip was still tight. A little more reasonable than she thought. Still afraid to face him, she looked down the hall, hoping to see a teacher. To no avail, of course; whenever Mark went on a rampage, they always made themselves scarce.\n\n\"I have tried everything,\" Mark said suddenly. A long pause hung in the air. Chrissy realized he was waiting for her to say something.\n\n\"Have you now?\" Mark's grip began to tighten again. Wrong answer. \"I-I mean, maybe there's something you've just, uh, thought wouldn't work, so you didn't try-\"\n\n\"I have tried everything!\" Mark's voice resounded through the halls, drowning out a few small gasps that could be heard around the corner. \"I've tried dating you, I've tried marrying you, having children with you, divorcing with you, avoiding you, giving you a promotion, setting you up, making you rich, making you poor, fulfilling your dreams, fulfilling your families dreams, saving you, killing-\"\n\n\"S-stop right there!\" Chrissy stalled, her mind trying to process what he was saying. \"I don't know what you're talking about!\"\n\n\"Yes you do! Right before I died, you told me you'd always known-\"\n\n\"I don't! And what's this about dying-\"\n\n\"Stop lying to me!\" Mark slammed his fist into the locker just above Chrissy's head. The impact rung in her ears, but she didn't care. She was focused on him now, her glare matching his, her indignation rising.\n\n\"Why won't you just let me die?\" Mark said, his tone low.\n\n\"I don't know,\" Chrissy said, pushing him away. He let go of her arm and stood in the middle of the hall, his shoulders hunched as if carrying a huge backpack. For a moment, he looked as if he was going to cry. But Chrissy didn't care.\n\n\"But if I ever find out, I'll make sure you don't,\" Chrissy said, massaging her arm. Mark straightened his back and started to move, but she was already in his face. \"And that'll be on you.\"\n\nFeedback appreciated.", "Tired\n\nExhausted\n\nTired\n\nExhausted\n\nThese are words\n\nwords are fun\n\nwords used to be fun\n\nhow many words have i spoken?\n\nhow many words have i heard?\n\nhow many days have i slept?\n\nhow many days did i study?\n\nhow many days spend in a career?\n\nThe world is a cruel place. I remember the old man who told me that once. On my 34th lifetime after i grew tired of both money and knowledge, i decided to find out what life was all about. \n\nThe world is a kind place. I remember the old man who told me that once. On my 75th lifetime after i grew tired of trying to commit suicide immediately after getting revived. \n\nWho am i?\nQuestions, so many questions. No answers, never any answers. No one has answers. I play with the world, the world plays with it. It is a trade. A compromise. I grow tired of it. \n\nThe darkness envelops me. I cope the only way i know how - suicide. For an instant darkness envelops me. The only taste of death i will ever get. Then we are back. \n\nTired\n\nToo tired to chase my tail.", "\"It's like Groundhog Day. But then, instead of repeating every day, I'm reliving my life over and over again. Could you even imagine what that's like? And I start at the worst possible time in my life too. I'm way too old to act like teenage angst. You know you aren't even able to communicate properly after a while? I've seen a wife and sometimes kids die ten, twenty, thirty times. I've intentionally ignored my wife so I could spare myself seeing her die again. You think someone like me has time to listen to the average dribble of daily life? No. Quite frankly I'm sick of it.\"\n\nJacob crossed his arms, drawing a deep breath after the tirade he just finished. The man across him stared at the clipboard in front of him, carefully finishing his last few notes.\n\n\"What are--,\" Jacob started again, but the man interrupted him by holding up his index finger. With a deep sigh, Jacob leaned back on the leather couch.\n\n\"Right,\" the man across him said, carefully clearing his throat. \"So what do you want from me?\"\n\nJacob laughed. \"I mean, your type generally tries to offer some council.\"\n\nThe psychiatrist smiled back. \"I feel like that would be pointless. I won't pretend to have the insight to make you happy again. No, I'm wondering about what it is you want.\"\n\n\"I want it to end,\" Jacob replied, instantly. \"By all accounts I've lived over a good five thousand years, so you can spare me that concerned look. I've lived so much I'm sick of it. Going to bed and not waking up seems like a highly underrated experience.\"\n\n\"Of course the people who consider that a less pleasent experience don't get another go,\" the psychiatrist retorted.\n\n\"Sure. But you know what the biggest problem is? None of it matters. I lived for myself, I lived for my country, I did just about everything someone could expect from a person. I started wars, stopped them, invented medicine, saved children across the world, became rich and just about everything else. You'd think you'd be content with leaving behind a better world. But I don't. I just go back and have to do it over again. It's not like that Tom Cruise movie, where there's an endgame. I'll just go on forever and forever and forever.\"\n\n\"Until you don't, of course.\"\n\nJacob frowned. \"What do you mean?\"\n\nThe psychiatrist smiled. \"You're not going to tell me you've never wondered about why you, of all people in the world, have the ability to do it all over? Nothing that exists in our current knowledge would lead us to believe that's even possible. Honestly I don't think we will ever theorize this phenomenon to actually exist, let alone discover a way to do it. So that leads me to ask this question.\" And he slowly turned around the clipboard. Underneath some scribbles stood a question:\n\n\"Who or what did this?\"\n\nJacob repeatedly tapped his fingers on the couch in the silence that followed. \"Of course I've thought about it,\" he started, frowning as he tried to mold his thoughts into words. \"But I don't know more than I did before.\"\n\nThe psychiatrist checked his watch and stood up. \"It's been 5PM for a while now, I think we've enough for today. Jacob, haven't you ever wondered what the purpose is. Not your purpose, specifically, but the purpose of that fact you're reviving at a point in time? What's the point in that?\"\n\nJacob shrugged.\n\n\"I feel like you should direct more of your attention to that. Something or someone put you up to this, and I can't imagine they're just letting you fool around forever. And even if they do, I'm sure they're checking up on you. Somehow. You're telling me you've never spotted a strange consistency despite your surroundings changing massively every time?\"\n\n\"Nothing that I can think of right away, at least.\" Jacob stood up and shook the psychiatrist's hand. \n\n\"Food for thought, then. I'll see you next week, Jacob.\"\n\nOutside, Jacob zipped up his jacket all the way to his neck, protecting him from the cold wind. He hadn't gotten his driver's license yet this time around, so he'd just walk home. The snow crunched under his feet as he made his way home. Mr. Rekam, the friendly neighbor living across their house, waved as Jacob came home. He'd always done that, and as Jacob opened the door he waved back without a second thought.\n\n\"How was school today?\", his mom asked as he dropped his bag in the hallway.\n\n\"Great mom, loads of homework though - I'll be down for dinner,\" Jacob replied as he walked up the stairs. He closed the door behind him and laid down on his bed.\n\n\"Now, what about those consistencies,\" Jacob mumbled, as he started to reflect on his previous lives." ]	[ 1, 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 3, 6, 12, 13, 21, 22, 43, 132, 410 ]	[ "1506354408", "1506362803", "1506380516", "1506387997", "1506380783", "1506395429", "1506378449", "1506377767", "1506373024", "1506370335", "1506369681", "1506368679", "1506362949", "1506361709", "1506362956" ]
	[WP] Everyone is convinced that the universe is a simulation, you think otherwise. You go on a walk to prove to yourself that everything is real and there's no way that all of this is a simulation. While thinking, off in the distance, you see a dead pixel.	31	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Lloyd stormed down the street, laughter still echoing behind him. \n\nFuck all of them, thinking they were so enlightened and that they had the entire world, no, the entire universe, figured out. How could they be so arrogant? So conceited beyond belief? \n\n\"They're all just dissatisfied with their own lives\" Lloyd thought to himself. He'd recognised his coworker, Toby Carter, among those who'd taunted and laughed at him. The same man who'd created a breakthrough technology which would lead to incredible fuel efficiency on ships, only to have the idea stolen from him before he could patent it. \n\nHis wife had been so excited about the prospect of financial security, the idea of a husband who could help her raise the kids and be there full-time for the family while still having money coming in from the patent. After it was stolen they'd gone into a downwards spiral, his wife never got pregnant and 3 months later she left him. \n\nSince then all Lloyd had ever seen Toby do was drink, he'd show up late to work regularly, he'd lost all inspiration and drive, the only reason he even still had a job was because his boss took pity on him. \n\nYes, Lloyd thought, the crowd was made up of people like Toby Carter, people who took comfort in the notion that none of it was real, that it was all just a fabrication and there was no greater meaning to anything. Lloyd knew otherwise. \n\nAfter three whole years of slogging away at his same old job, living alone in a tiny apartment and watching the girl of his dreams from afar, Lloyd had just experienced the best lucky break of his 32 year old life. Just a month ago Lloyd had been picked for a promotion, a promotion that let him move into a much nicer apartment overlooking the river and gave him a new passion for his job that made him excited to go into work each and every day. Not only that but he'd finally had the courage to ask the beautiful girl, Lila, who worked across the road, out on a date. For the last three years she'd been all Lloyd wanted, and she'd said yes. \n\nLloyd knew that he shouldn't get his hopes up too high, he'd barely even spoken to Lila before and despite thinking she was lovely he didn't know too much about her. His friends and coworkers had constantly warned him that she might let him down, he might finally go out with her after all this time and there would never be that spark he'd always dreamed of, but he was one of the lucky ones. \n\nThe first date had been incredible, he'd kissed her on an empty bridge in the moonlight to the sound of the river lapping against the bank below. He'd stared into her gorgeous wide eyes with tears blurring his vision, and never been so happy in his life. They'd clicked from the moment they'd sat down, they had so much in common and just had that... feeling, the feeling where you would just look at the other person, see what they felt for you, and just know it was all going to be all right. \n\nLloyd wasn't going to let a bunch of Toby Carters tell him that their failures and his success weren't for real. He wasn't going to let them drag him down and pull themselves up, Lloyd had worked to get where he was, he'd waited and he'd paid more than his dues, he was never going to give this up, no matter what. \n\nLloyd froze in his path, and looked to his left, the sounds of the mob's taunts had long since disappeared behind him. \n\nOn the side of the Chinese takeaway situated to his left, Lloyd saw a white spot. It was maybe a centimeter cubed, completely out of place with the building's brown facade. It wasn't just painted white or faded paint though, it looked like the spot was just... missing. Lloyd tried to touch it, his finger went straight through. He put his hands on his head, grabbing handfuls of his hair. \n\nLloyd knew exactly what this was. \n\nA dead pixel, not only did this mean that he was in fact in a simulation, but that in all likelihood someone had seen him discover the dead pixel, and probably wasn't too happy about it. \n\nNo sooner had he walked five metres than a door manifested in front of him. No flash, no sparkle, it just appeared. \n\nTwo men in suits walked out, they looked normal but were very tall, at least 6'5'', and looked very similar, like they were brothers or something. \n\nThey grabbed Lloyd, ignoring his yells of protest, and pushed him through the door. \n\nLloyd emerged into what looked like a gigantic server room: A giant room filled with beeping machinery as far as the eye could see. Without a word the two men dragged Lloyd into a dimly lit office and pointed to a chair, indicating for him to sit down. \n\n\"Well\" one of the men said, pacing around and consulting a paper on his desk \"Lloyd Webster is it?\" He glanced at Lloyd, who nodded. \"My friend you've just found the first ever conclusive evidence that your existence is a simulation, now I'm sure you understand we've had to remove you from it, and right now we've got to consult the high-ups on your fate.\"\n\nLloyd shook his head, still dumbstruck by his situation.\n\n\"But I don't get it\" he said \"you look like normal humans, why aren't you aliens or something? Also tonnes of others have figured out it's a simulation, why aren't you silencing them?\"\n\nThe man sighed. \n\n\"I suppose you deserve an explanation\" he said. \"We're normal humans because your simulation is not only an interesting experiment but an entertainment program, regularly broadcast to the people of this world. Of course people would rather watch real human beings with familiar problems and dreams than some obscure aliens to whom they cannot relate. As for the others who believe the world is a simulation, simulism, as we call it, will always remain something like a religion. Some will be utterly convinced of it, others will call it nonsense. Either way it will never gain enough traction to threaten the actual proof of the simulation. There's simply no evidence supporting it.\"\n\n\"Until you showed up.\" the other man cut in.\n\n\"Yes\" the first man resumed. \"With your claim about the dead pixel people might actually start taking simulism seriously, and we can't have that.\" he finished. \n\n\"What happens to you\" the second man said softly \"is uncertain, as my colleague said, but we do have a way of dealing with your absence.\" He pointed to a screen on the side of the office, and Lloyd looked at is curiously, only to be struck with horror as he saw an exact copy of himself stepping out a similar door to the one he had exited through, the door then disappeared behind him. \n\nLloyd watched as the man walked down the street towards Lloyd's office, and proceeded to enter the building and scream horribly offensive insults at Lloyd's boss. Lloyd then watched, aghast, as his boss promptly fired Lloyd's replacement on the spot.\n\n\"No!\" Lloyd yelled \"I worked years for that job! What are you doing?\" One of the men looked at Lloyd and explained.\n\n\"You might never return to this world\" the man said calmly \"as a result we need to sever all connections you might have to this world, so no-one will miss you if you are gone.\"\n\nLloyd looked on in horror as the man returned to Lloyd's apartment, which he opened with a key.\n\n\"We have all your data on file\" one of the men said, anticipating Lloyd's question \"including the exact details of the key to your residence\"\n\nLloyd's eyes widened as he saw what his replacement was doing. \n\nHe was preparing for Lloyd's date with Lila. \n\nLloyd screamed in his chair as he saw what was coming. No, he couldn't have that connection severed. One of the huge men restrained him as he begged desperately\n\n\"Don't ruin what I have with her! I'll be miserable forever, please please just leave her alone!\" Lloyd's shouts turned to sobs as he watched his replacement walk out the door in the direction of the park where he was meeting Lila.\n\nContinue?\n\n/r/wptoss for more writing" ]	[ 1, 7 ]	[ "1506376226", "1506389830" ]
	[WP] Musicals have replaced essays in education to "bridge curriculums." It's finals season, and you haven't gotten a musical bone in your body.	6	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "The sweat begins to fall from my brow. Picture me, Kevin Jance. 18, going on 19, a 3.8 student. A 4.0 student if you remove my B from my criminal justice class. I don't care how close I was to a 4.0, you will not get me to participate in A dancin' with a Manson: An original play by Charles Heshlon. And yes, that is the same Heshlon that likely teaches you algebra class. It's Heslon's fault for all this. I was actually given 2 weeks detention for writing my own piece, which was no more than a title really, called Ending up like a 'tard, my story up until Julliard. Principal Skonson said insulting a school that was elite would hurt my chances of attending a decent college if the information became public. I argued that I had stated ended up like \"a tard\", not that Julliard specifically had caused it. I was also required to attend an after school \"elective\" about ableism.\n\nSorry, did I trail off there? My writing has deteriorated since AP Language Arts has focused more on the latter part of it's name. \n\nAll that is irrelevant mainly, because now I must sing or I'll flunk a class. Again.\n\nCurrently up is Ted Reiny. He has gone with an interesting choice of an idea for a Metallica song about math. An interesting choice mostly because I've never heard a Metallica musical and this is AP Creative Writing. The general gist of the song is that it's set to Nothing Else Matters and about the final sum of a number. Were this 7th grade, this might be good.\n\nMercifully it ends, and unmercifully it is now my turn.\n\n\n\"Kevin, are you ready?\" asks Ms. Lasko\n\n\"Yes Ma'am\" I reply\n\n\"Good, what song is this set to or did you compose it yourself?\"\n\n[\"It's set to Many A New Day from Oklahoma\"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHtLvFbWqoQ)\n\n\"Why, that's a classic!\" I see Lasko's eyes light up\n\n\"It's also sung by a girl\", Ted replies.\n\nRegardless, I am ready. I pull out my phone, it syncs, and the song begins playing over the speakers in class.\n\n\nWhy should a student whose talent list is long, sing like a lady for his GPA? Reaching and a-failin' to write a song? \n\nThat's one thing I'll never do for the easy A, \n\nNever gonna think that the grade I lose is what will hold me back from Penn\n\nI'll crack my fingers, to show that I'm prepared, I'll write me a new test to fair\n\nI'll scrub decks and I'll cut hair\n\nAnd I'll flunk all over again.\n\nMaybe a new ace, will please my eye\n\nMaybe an idea will find me\n\nNever again will I look back to sigh over the ideas behind me\n\nMaybe the events of Dooms Day set to light tune\n\nAny of these ideas I have tried, a list set to - \"stop\"\n\nI'm abruptly cut off. \n\n\"You're doing it wrong. You're angry and mean. You need to improv more, it's forced!\" Lasko says\n\n\"You can only make what you can make\" I reply\n\n\"And only you can make Oklahoma depressing! You can make anything sound happy and upbeat!\"\n\n\"How?\" I say, noticing that the time is almost 2:15 and I will soon be free, flunking aside\n\nLasko leans over and picks up her phone.\n\n[The Fray- How To Save A Life](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjVQ36NhbMk) begins to play.\n\nLasko smiles and everyone else cringes.\n\n\"Step one I say you need a song, You balk I say calm down it's just a song\n\nHe smiles politely back at you, you say after class I need to see you\n\nA songs a window to your life, do your best and you'll be alright\"-\n\n-\"Between your lines, I feel your shame, and I'm beginning to wonder why I came\" I interject. Despite the insult Lasko smiles wide and stops the song. \n\n\"Very good!\"\n\n\"But why should I care about this?\"\n\nThat's when another song starts to play, it's [Have A Little Priest- Sweeney Todd soundtrack](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTOHl9nD6B0)\n\nStacey Silverman, begins to sing.\n\n\"Seems an awful waste... With the price of college what it is. When you get in. If you get in. Good thing I got in.\n\nTo fake incompetence in this Looney's AP-ie shop\n\nClasses never better, like putting butter on toast\n\nAnd this class is good for maybe six or seven credits at most\n\nAnd I'm sure*\"- the music is stopped again.\n\n\"I... appreciate the class participation, but can we not have songs about cannibalism? Please?\" Lasko ask's.\n\n\"Wait, Ms. Lasko-\" I've realized something. \"I think I get what to do now!\"\n\nIn the end, the F was well worth it.\n" ]	[ 1, 3 ]	[ "1506387657", "1506391295" ]
[removed]	[WP] In a universe parallel to our own, all of the posts on r/LifeProTips are by one individual. Tell their tale.	2	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nPrompts should not ask users to base responses off titles or content they have to seek out in another subreddit or on an external website. \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/72phit/wp_in_a_universe_parallel_to_our_own_all_of_the/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1506480538", "1506481050" ]
	[WP] Every night you wipe all of your memories from your brain. Every morning you realise your amnesia was intentional. Everyday you find out why	121	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "When consciousness returned, there was originally little to differentiate it from what came before. Black bled into black, and all my senses struggled against that void for nought. Touch returned first, as the rough sheets upon the bed I realized I must be laying in rasped against my fingers. Though I certainly knew no such bed - in fact, I realized that I couldn't remember a single bed I had ever laid in before; but that couldn't be right, because here I was - and I'd obviously been here for some time. Why couldn't I remember - why? \n\nSmell was the next thing to catch at my brain - a slight scent of must and a thin foul odor in the air. I couldn't place it, but seeing as I still couldn't place this bedroom I wasn't ready to get particularly worried about it. Still, the smell was unpleasant, and I finally began to seriously shift on the bed, hoping to scent a breeze which might promise fresher air. \n\nNo dice. \n\nSo finally, begrudgingly, I open my eyes and let my sight take in the dim surroundings of wherever-this-was, and forced rebellious muscles to lever me into a seated position on the bed. Pain, pain enough to take my breath way. Acute, yet everywhere. My vision went red and scarlet and yellow, with dots of color dancing behind my eyes as the pain fell away to a low ache and my vision tried to return.\n\nDim was an understatement. This place was dingy. Bits and pieces of rotting food in the corners, water stains and stagnant pools in the corners, the myriad sources were quickly and easily noticeable. The only structures noticeable within the room the bed I was sitting on, an old bedside lamp, and a sturdy but dilapidated dresser on the far wall - a bottle of some kind sitting on it next to a few smaller items difficult to identify in the gloom. \n\nThen it hit me, the light was wrong. It was dark, yes - but also red. Nearly crimson. Not a shade of natural light, nor of any artificial light I'd ever seen before. It looked like... like... some sort of emergency lighting, perhaps? \n\nI stiffly rose to a standing position, getting a grip on the lamp and resting my other hand on the wall for some stability as the pain kicked again and briefly threatened to buckle my legs. I tried to click it on. There was no change, just empty clicks echoing surprisingly loudly in the small space. I realized then that the walls were concrete, bare and unpainted - affected only by water stains similar to those on the floor. \n\nShaking my head, trying to clear away the fog and remember what was going on I stepped across the room to the dresser, my footing more stable as my body relearned the art of walking. There I saw the bottle I had seen before, now clearly a half empty bottle of gin, surrounded by empty bottles, cans, and assorted detritus. I recognized pills, medications of some form, and alcohols, but couldn't focus on them - my eyes were drawn like a magnet to a cracked plastic picture frame. I recognized the man in the photo - he had to be me. But my heart fell into my stomach when I realized I couldn't recognize the woman next to me, or the children. Though I knew they must have been my wife, and kids, why weren't they here? Where were they? \n\nI shuffled across the room, still unsteady on my feet but the room small enough to allow plenty of use of the wall as a crutch. In a few steps, I reached the door set into the wall to the right of the bed, on the opposite side of the room from the lamp, and twisted it open. \n\nIt was when I saw the emergency evacuation lighting and route plans that the world snapped back into focus with a force that had me seeing stars behind my eyes. I reeled in the doorway and sank to my knees, resting my forehead against the cool damp concrete floors of the bunker. \n\nI remembered the terror, families in the King of Prussia neighborhood being forced underground along with the rest of Greater Philadelphia and most of the developed world. The first few agonizing days of silence as we sheltered in place. Then the roars, and shaking - Gods, the quakes - and the suddenly terrifying silence after the blast, as we remained in quarantine beneath the streets. \n\nThe panic when the air filtration systems failed, and the water recycling. From damage to the quake. The deaths of the early teams who went to save us. Losing my children, my wife. Everyone. \n\nI wasn't sure I was the last one in the shelter, but I was sure none of us were getting out - and that no one was coming for us. \n\nSlowly, painfully; with what I now realized were the cramps and pangs associated with hunger, and thirst, and all the other myriad failures the radiation was probably wreaking in my body I made my way back to that dresser. Measured out what was left of my small stockpile - fifty thousand people had managed to smuggle in a decent amount of contraband, and there weren't many left to share it with - and downed everything I had. Hoping that this cocktail would be the last, that I'd never again have to remember their faces. \n\nMy family. \n\nMy children. \n\nMy wife. \n\nI staggered over and fell into the bed, and waited for the darkness to sweep me away again. \n ", "He was not that great at waking up. For that reason, it was surprising how easy it was to wake up. Almost like that it was a habit. He removed some kind of machine from his head and reads \"Amnesia generator\", set on last day memories. Ah right, he got that week ago from the market. It probably was failure product, why he even bothered. After making coffee, he decided to do the usual thing, check calendar if there was something important going on. That is, where things became weird. He notices a huge sticker on top of the calendar. Before reading it, he notices, that first of all, year of the calendar is 2017, not 2015. Was that a mistake? But even so, the date is very wrong. He finally reads the sticker.\n\nThe year and date are correct. Move the marker to the next day. You have amnesia.\n\nHe moves automatically the day marker to the next day, but he is confused. If he has amnesia, shouldn't he heave to himself more information? That machine would also explain. He thought a bit more about it and reached the conclusion that it might be just a prank by his wife. His wife is coming home today, maybe she arrived already and decided to make the prank?\n\nNever the less he gets ready to work, puts on his usual formal clothing and prepares to exit the home. He notices another sticky on the front floor.\n\nYou don't have a job anymore. I prefer you not to leave. Just go play with your computer!\n\nHe became even more confused, but next to it he really had also included writing a notice of being fired. It happened 10 days after last memory he had around 2015.\n\nHe put his bags away and quietly sits behind his computer and starts googling what is going on. He soon understood that year indeed is 2017 and everything that was written was true.\n\nThat is when he noticed an icon on his screen, what has the title 'Click me'.\n\nMaybe he shouldn't click it? His curiosity got better of him though, he double clicked it and the program started. His brain was screaming, as his logic said that maybe he killed someone? Maybe his wife is dead and he tries to forget it? Maybe he is hiding? Maybe he has a huge sickness?\n\nThe program starts and he sees the huge title \"Witcher 3\" on the screen. Oh right, it was released on the next day when he went to sleep.\n\nHe started a new campaign and played it and played it. He rushed it and simply loved it and had a lust. At some point, he ordered pizza and ate it while always playing, but barely moved his eyes off the monitor.\n\nSuddenly it was night and he had credits running on the screen. He felt sadness, as it was over. The great adventure, he could enjoy only once. All those characters and memories. It was over. As he started going to sleep, he notices again that machine he had on his head in the morning. He realizes something and starts laughing. Of course.\n\nAs he gets to sleep, he deletes save files, he puts the machine on his head, turn it on and prepares to sleep. If he can forget all those memories, he can enjoy the game again.", "I awake from a state of unconsciousness. I am confused by this loud noise coming from this thing, looks like...wait this is an alarm clock I think. Yea, I was sleeping and this fancy portable alarm clock woke me up. \n\nBut that's all I know. \n\nWhere am I? What...whats going on? \n\nI look around my room for anything some kind of reference to who I am? \n\nWait...I know I'm in my room. That's good. I see a desk, chair and a computer. Ok, I know these things. I see a TV and see a remote. It tells me to press this button only, Ok lets see what happens.\n\n\"Hello there Christopher, yes...that is our name. No need to go on any further since we'll be doing this again tomorrow. So, Chris, here is what is happening. You have awoken from an amnesia induced sleep. The effects are temporary. You are in your house and you are completely safe. \n\nYou are in an amnesia state. Which means you don't remember who you are essentially. You probably already remember plenty of objects and probably the date. But WHO you are is still a mystery and it will be...for a few more mins. \n\nDoctors say you don't retain much in your amnesia state but I'm hoping this video stuff works. \n\nSo listen, Chris. Try to remember this, ok? Please.\n\nForgive yourself and move on. The long term effects of this sleep treatment is still unknown. I mean every night you, which means me, wipe out our memories just so we can get some sleep. \n\nLook, soon you are going to remember all the reasons why you wanted to do this in the first place. This is literally saving your life. You chose this over suicide. \n\nYou have made improvements. So please continue. \n\nStop overthinking okay. Just learn to love yourself a little. Please. \n\nWell, the amnesia effects should be slowly wearing off by now. \n\nDon't panic. You do this every morning. Everything will be fine. \n\nSee you tomorrow\"\n\nThe video finally stops and I finally realize why... \n", "In the morning he woke, and he was very old.\n\nAnd he asked himself, \"How could I be born so old?\"\n\nBut there were instincts in him that raised him from the bed, and he stood at the window.\n\nAnd he said, \"Wow, that's just... wow.\"\n\nFor there were rainclouds coming in like a flashing armada in the sky. And it was the first time he had ever seen that.\n\nBut he had seen it before.\n\nA small graceful robot set food for him on the table, and a dog sat at his feet while he re-learned how to eat with silverware.\n\n\"Who thought of you?\" he asked his fork and spoon. \"Who crafted you? Genius!\"\n\nAnd after a while he saw that there were letters printed on a small paper stuck to a black opaque window on the table. And the letters came into his mind and slowly congealed into this:\n\nPress here.\n\n\"Don't tell me what to do!\" he laughed.\n\nBut he pressed it.\n\nAnd the black opaque window flashed, and before him he saw a world inside a screen. He saw people that made his heart ache, and he saw himself. He watched and yearned.\n\nAnd he knew that this was long ago.\n\nBut he was wrong.\n\nFor suddenly a little girl in the screen said, \"Don't tell me what to do!\" and she laughed. And then she said, \"Okay, I'll pick up my dog tomorrow after breakfast. See you then, grandfather!\"\n\nA ringing in the house made him jump.\n\nThe small graceful robot opened a sliding glass door, and into the house stepped the girl, alive and oblivious to him, petting her dog.\n\nLord, she was beautiful!\n\n\"Dad said there's something on the TV for the football now if you want to come see it.\"\n\nShe took him by the hand and led him to the sliding glass door.\n\nAnd there across a stretch of grass was a larger house, where upon the back porch stood those people who had been in the screen - the people who made his heart ache.\n\nHis son. His son's family. His grandchildren.\n\nThey were still alive and they were waving to him.\n\n\"Come on, let's go, grandfather,\" said the little girl.\n\nShe took off across the grass with her dog, but he could not keep up with her. For the rain was starting, and he had not put on his shoes.\n\nHe held his hands out palm upwards in the rain and scrunched his toes in the grass.\n\nLord, it felt good!\n\n\"Come on, grandfather, you're getting wet!\" cried the little girl.\n\nBut he walked doddering in joy, staring at his family with a feeling inside him like his heart would burst.\n\n\"Get in here, old man!\" his son laughed when he reached the porch.\n\nAnd they brought him in and toweled him off, and he sat with them all day in wonder though all they did was spill around the house and watch TV.\n\nThen, at last he tore himself away. For the children had gone to sleep, and he saw the way his son looked at the children's mother.\n\nAnd he said to himself, \"Come along, old man! They still have living to do!\"\n\nSo, he rose and walked back across the yard to his small house, and his heart was full.\n\nAnd he sat down quietly inside. And for a long time he just looked out the window upon the wondrous stars, whispering to himself, \"Magnificent!\"\n\nThen he found underneath his hand a small plastic bag with a note that said:\n\nTake this pill and you will forget today. But it will all come back to you tomorrow, slowly, just as it did today - and it will be a day of wonder and discovery and joy.\n\nAnd he took the pill and lay down in his bed and fell asleep.\n\n-----\n\nr/droptoprocket" ]	[ 1, 2, 2, 5, 97 ]	[ "1506551759", "1506591231", "1506591396", "1506574839", "1506555125" ]
	[WP] " In other news, a superhero failed to look both ways before crossing the street, and was hit by a speeding truck. The truck driver died upon impact..."	7	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "-flashes of light-\n\n-pain, throbbing pulsing flashing strobing light-\n\n-sound, bright and loud and screeching-\n\nThe green of my HUD greets me as I groggily claw my way back to conscious thought. I squeeze my right fist together and a pulse of my suit's G-12 injector surges through my veins, pushing away the tunnel of black that rings my vision. I tumble head over heels, my scorched flight armor trailing smoke.\n\nGlimpses of the ground are my only reference point. I try to remember-\n\n-pain-\n\n-fuck that, time to focus on stopping my fall. I flail my arms and legs, control surfaces flexing and flaps extending from my battered wings and armored limbs. \n\nOne rotation, another slower flip, and I'm righted. The ground is now growing larger and larger in my vision. \n\nHUD instruments showing ten thousand feet and falling fast. That can't be right, last I remember I was fighting Mindflayer-\n\n-pain\n\n-at ground level, I need to stop thinking about it. I wonder-\n\n-red, pulsing pain-\n\n-how the fuck did I get up here? I've only got basic flight instruments, the main flight computer must be offline.\n\nThis is not good. Time to see how screwed I am.\n\nI flex my shoulders. The biofeedback controls still seem to work- power is fed to my flight engines, only for the screeching that had become background noise to become higher pitched and louder. \n\nSuit integrity sensors show my left flight engine is fucked. I'm not sure how else to describe it- somehow, it's still attached to the left wing joint, but the turbine is dented and skipping. Oil and hydraulic fluid weep from ruptured fluid lines. \n\nThat explains the screeching. Now to gain some power. Compensate with the right engine, shift wing alignment to maximize lift...\n\nThe right engine must be damaged as well. My eyes rapidly swipe through the multitude of warning popups and emergency notifications to find the engine status display.\n\nForeign object damage? That takes me weeks to fix, how the hell am I supposed to fix that at 10 angels in free-fall! Damn it! \n\n...make that 5,000 feet. This is bad. This is really really bad. I need thrust and I can't get nearly enough. \n\nThe white of the clouds has given way to the smog of the city. I'm dangerously low. Maybe a minute left before I pancake into the ground.\n\nThe HUD beeps- I'm saved!- the flight computer must have finished rebooting while I struggled to regain flight. I had some control now. The ground below me was now a massive wall of apartment roofs and highway overpasses- I leaned forward into my fall, gaining airspeed.\n\nI've only got one shot at this. I've got to time my flare perfectly- too late, and I smack into the ground. Too early, and I stall too high... and smack into the ground.\n\nI really don't want 500lbs of mechanized armor to smack into the ground at the speed of sound. On a good day with my armor's G-compensators operating at peak efficency, I might survive.\n\nMight.\n\nBut right now I've got a massive hole in my left wing, almost no thrust, and a barely functional flight computer. And it's time for me to stop bitching, because I'm at 500 feet and throwing my arms back-\n\n-wings shift forward, slats and flaps extend-\n\n-I swoop forward, armor shuddering, incredible amounts of force-\n\n-black yet again tinges my vision, hello my old friend \"excess G-force\"-\n\n-419 feet, 323 feet, 250 feet, 195 feet, 180 feet, 173 feet-\n\n-and I'm weaving between condos and office buildings. The streets below me are clogged with people driving home from work. \n\nThere's nowhere to land, and I'm still descending. Maybe on top of a parking garage?\n\nNope, too low. Maybe on the sidewalk?\n\nDamn it! It's too crowded. People have noticed me now. They stare and point. I wonder what they're saying, because I can't hear them over this infernal screeching-\n\n-there! A gap between cars on a narrow street! I aim towards it-\n\n-100 feet, 50 feet, my right engine gave out, here comes the grooooouuuuundohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck-\n\n__________________________________________________________________________________________________\n\nThe armored figure skids and bounces down the road. A wing riddled with holes bends, snaps, skitters off as the body plows a furrow into the asphalt. \n\nA truck begins to turn out of a side street, its driver oblivious to the fast-approaching hero. They collide with a crunch. The driver dies on impact, the unconscious figure caving in the entire front cab. The truck rocks to the side with the hit, tips, and falls over. The winged figure slides off as the vehicle is upturned.\n\nThe silence of the scene is swiftly shattered by the sound of sirens. Mindflayer looks on from a rooftop 3 blocks away, and grins.\n\n\n\n" ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1506563175", "1506566725" ]
	[WP] Each Leader is magically bound to the nature of the land, a harsh ruler results in barren lands, a kind results in bountiful lands.	21	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "As my Father Before\n\n\n\nFor as long as I could remember our land has always been desolate.\n\nFrom that of my father to that of my grandfather and his father before him we lived in blight.\n\nWind like whips blind sight and senses in storms the fury of the gods common and lethal. Soil like ash takes flight at their behest used as arrows piercing the skin hardened from generations of torment.\nThe sun is hot, the land is cruel; yet we remain, shepherds, nomads, savages… Raiders.\n\nFor when the season’s heat rises in the east it turns a deathly cold in upon the west, we travel.\n\nAs my father had, and my grandfather, and his father and those before. We travel north, the land rich and bountiful, life good and with plenty.\n\nBut just as all fathers before had done so do I, Chief to my people, we come not in peace but with all the cruelty born from our distant cruel land.\n\nWeakness born out of pleasantry, our strength guides us, our prowess the feat of generations of suffering and torment.\n\nSkin hardened, bone thick and bodies like the storms of our creator, our home land.\n\nTheir weakness their own failing, we greater people do as greater beings do.\n\nRavishing this rich bountiful land we take what is due and make due with what we have.\n\nThat makes us stronger, greater, a cruel people born of cruel storms.\n\nOr so I believed. For as my father had, and his father and the father’s before him; all had done this for time without end.\n\nYet here I lay, my breath failing me; cruel lungs of a cruel land waning.\nI hear their slaughter. My people dying, man, woman and children; all greater people, yet here they die…\n\nFor so many generations had this not been so, for so many generations had we survived, greaters, better, we suffered through all the torments of nature.\n\nWe, bred superior… Yet here I lay, holding my chest wet, life drains from me.\n\nIt seems that after all these generations, fathers one after another, these lesser people, those who could not live among our wastes, who were made soft as the grass brushed against my cheek.\n\nThey needed not strength after all… Their strength in shining metal bright as the high noon sun. Their strength in the mind they cared, developed and bred; their movements with thought, battle considered, something beyond nature wild and strong.\n\nTheir strength came from love, a love of something greater…\nSomething more than strength. A love of what they were, these inferior people, a desire to retain all they cared.\n\nA strength of their own, a strength better?\n\nI turn cold as the nights of my cruel lands, shaking, failing, inferior…\n\nJust as the my father had, and his father and theirs before, I die a cruel death. Cruelty befitting a cruel people born of a cruel land.\n\nThe son next to learn as all our fathers had, yet was unknown.\n\nWe born of cruelty, will die by it too.\n\n\nFin. Constructive Criticism Welcome. Note that these are always first drafts, mistakes are expected.", "\"Umm... Mr. President?\"\n\n\"Busy right now. Tweeting. Saying things that need to be said about football players.\"\n\n\"That's nice, sir. But while the US Constitution's display case was due for its annual vacuuming, the janitor's blue light on his MP3 player showed something hidden.\"\n\n\"Was it an apple? They're always hiding those. They're all over the magazines I read at my doctor's office. He's the best doctor. Says all my tests are the most positive, that I'm the healthiest human being that has ever been president.\"\n\n\"Not an apple sir. But you know how some of the founding fathers were into weird secret societies and the occult?\"\n\n\"Is the occult anything like an Applebee's?\"\n\n\"No sir, it's like eldritch sorcery and men in hooded robes doing sinister things.\"\n\n\"Very American thing to do. Love me some men in hooded robes doing sinister things.\"\n\n\"Anyway, we appear to have a Fisher King clause hidden in invisible ink in the US Constitution tied to the current president.\"\n\n\"Never really was one for fishing, but the king part I like. This means I get to have a crown, right? A big gold crown. The best crown, really.\"\n\n\"No crown, sir. The Fisher King is a historical literary device, or trope, that states that the state of the land is irrevocably tied to the one who rules it.\"\n\n\"Soooooo... what you're telling me is that the United States is totally awesome, and is only going to get awesomer in the future?\"\n\n\"Uhh... not exactly sir. Half the country is drowning and the other half is on fire.\"\n\n\"This is totally fake news. Those founding fathers were totally not cool dudes in robes and hoods doing sinister things. There were totally uncool cats in dresses that were probably like... doing whatever lame and bad things that uncool cats do. Which I don't know, because I'm not an uncool cat.\"\n\n\"As you say, sir.\"\n\n\"So now I'm having some thoughts about men in dresses. Get the guy with the medals to tell me about how the thing I just randomly said on Twitter with no input from my cabinet a few weeks ago is going.\"\n\n\"You mean General Mattis, sir?\"\n\n\"General Mattis, Colonel Sanders, Captain Crunch, whoever he is.\"\n\n\"Very well, sir.\"\n\n\"Oh. And now I'm hungry. Can you go send Jared to KFC to get me a bucket of extra-tasty crispy? Or maybe Ivanka. Say, do you...\"\n\n\"I'm just going to leave now, sir, before I am hideously creeped out before you mention something about your daughter and succulent, juicy breasts and I lose my appetite.\"", "\"That is the nature of things, Erich.\"\n\n\"Then why would a ruler ever be cruel?\"\n\n\"That is a question that cannot be answered in a moment, or even a day. It will take you a lifetime to learn.\"\n\nMaster Callon ended my studies in the North tower at noon, as he did every day. I met Aren near the gates, and we walked outside the castle walls.\n\nThe day was bright and a gentle, diffused afternoon light settled on the golden wheat fields surrounding the castle walls. \n\n\"Your brain any bigger yet?\" She asked.\n\n\"Shut up. It's important stuff. Besides, it's not like I have a choice.\"\n\n\"I just don't get it,\" she said, plucking a long stem from the ground, \"everything you need to know to Lead has to be learned out here.\"\n\n---\n\nIt was a magnificent day for a wedding. I was dashing in my black and red tunic, and Aren was perfect in her silver gown. I didn't look at my father, sitting there in the front row. I didn't need to think about his wishes or disapproval anymore. She wasn't common to me.\n\n---\n\n\nThe chamber smelled like blood, like metal. I could taste it on my tongue. She was screaming in pain, and then she wasn't and then the baby was screaming. I heard the drip of liquid on the stone, hushed murmurings of the attendant, then the baby cried. A wrinkled hand on my shoulder, a newborn thrust into my arms.\n\n\"She's gone.\"\n\n---\n\n\"My lord, there is no time.\"\n\n\"There's always time. You just have to find it.\"\n\nThe Southern armies were approaching. We had a day, two if we were lucky. The reserves were dwindling, the supplies low in the face of winter. Siege was likely, defeat was possible.\n\n\"Summon the remaining men. Old and young - if they can bear arms, they go.\"\n\n\"As you wish, my lord.\"\n\n---\n\nCold stone room, stone cold heart, seeping cold in all corners of the world. A world I own but cannot see, only know of in this dungeon of a castle. We have repelled the invaders, turned out the rebels, each attack and war and famine and curse of violence hardening me a shade. My footsteps are heavy through the castle: stone.\n\n---\n\nMy son, my beautiful son. Returned to me on a litter from the field of battle. My son, a crumpled pile of blood and metal. My son, a crooked sword. The eyes of his mother closed, gone forever. \n\nI know now why we can't bury them, why we don't. Fire cleanses. I can't know he is still there, underground. Must be gone entirely.\n\n---\n\nFire is light. Fire is purity. Fire cleanses the land, gives life back to the soil, eliminates the waste, the ugly, the out of place. The scorched soil is a blank canvas to draw a new society on.\n\nMy armies cover the land beyond my realm in flame. I have instructed them to take who and what they want - only what they can carry - and raze the rest. They move outward in ever-expanding circles, leaving new garrisons and lines of defense at each circle. Supply lines extend inward to my kingdom. My realm grows like a spiderweb. I feel every pulse from the threads of the web, vibrating inward.\n\n---\n\nMy teacher is dying. Master Callon lays on a bed in the infirmary, yellowed and wrinkled, like time was a fist slowly crumpling a piece of parchment. Impossibly wrinkled. I had forgotten the man, declined his requests for an audience over the years. I didn't need to hear anything he had to say.\n\nThey told me the end was near for him, and I decided to see him one last time. I'm still not sure why.\n\nAt first, I wasn't sure he could see me. His eyes were glazed and looked as if they saw another world than the one we occupied. I stood for a moment, then turned to leave.\n\n\"Do you understand, now?\" He said, voice trembling.\n\n\"Understand what?\"\n\n\"Why a ruler might become cruel?\"\n\n\"Are you suggesting I am cruel? I have built an empire of loyal subjects, safe from war, safe from bickering kingdoms. And still my empire grows. The cost is death, but the reward is peace. To make that purchase is my decision, and no one else's.\"\n\n\"Your heart is cold, Erich. It has been ever since you lost Aren. Even colder since your son.\"\n\n\"Don't talk about my family, old man. You may be dying, but you would do well to remember who you speak to.\"\n\nCallon shifted slightly, and grimaced.\n\n\"I knew you would have to learn some things for yourself. I just wish I could have taught you not to let the bad things consume your heart.\"\n\n\"I'll tell you one more time, master. I have a built a better world than the one I was given. The histories will vindicate me.\"\n\n\"I suppose everyone needs to sleep at night,\" he said mockingly.\n\n\"What a waste of time.\" I turned to leave again, and he breathed my name, almost too quiet to hear.\n\n\"Erich.\"\n\nI don't know what compelled me to turn. When I did, I was taken aback. The man was smiling, a smile twisted by pain on a face comprised entirely of wrinkles.\n\n\"Remember that in every place in the world, there is an Erich and an Aren. The world is not fair, Erich. Your job is to make the world as fair for others as you can, despite the unfairness it has shown to you. That is what a Leader does.\"\n\nI felt a stirring, clenched and closed it off, and left the room without response.\n\n---\n\nThe old man's words haunted me, made me angry, crept into my thoughts when I most needed a clear head. One day I went for a walk outside the castle walls, where Aren and I talked on summer afternoons. My guards followed close behind.\n\nI came upon a tree that we sat under for many hours on many days, lifetimes spent watching the clouds and and imaging a life, a future, a happiness. I knelt to see the spot where she would sit, a place in the wood made just for her, that would cup her perfectly as she leaned back. I leaned closer and saw scratches, indentations in the wood. She had carved a poem that I had forgotten, a poem that she loved.\n\nFate conspires to keep us apart.\n\nLove designs to bring us together.\n\nLife will author misfortune. \n\nDeath binds us forever.\n\nI turned and sat where she did, uncomfortable, the space in the wood too small for me, the tree pushing out against me. For the first time in many years, I looked up at the clouds. I heard the breeze rushing through the fields, rushing harshly and quietly, and I closed my eyes, and I wept." ]	[ 1, 2, 2, 18 ]	[ "1506591872", "1506603316", "1506616059", "1506594301" ]
[removed]	[WP] Ancient civilizations don't vanish, they get uplifted. Today the Atlantians return to Earth and claim their birthrights.	0	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nLooks like this posted twice by accident - so removing the second one - first is still up. \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/7301qw/wp_ancient_civilizations_dont_vanish_they_get/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1506605143", "1506605866" ]
[deleted]	[WP] A small-town pharmacist is burdened by the knowledge of friends' and neighbours' illnesses by filling their prescriptions. One morning, however, a woman from out of town stumbles into the pharmacy. Muttering nonsense under her breath, she slowly pushes her prescription slip across the counter.	0	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Two words, that was all it said.\n\nIt was just a normal morning before she came stumbling in to my pharmacy. I lived in a tiny town, so normally I see the same people, on the same days, gossiping and giving our best regards to the other's family and careers. But this woman, I had never seen her. She looked rough. Messy hair, dirty clothes, and she was slightly limping on her left leg as she came into my store. \n\n\"Good morning ma'am\" I said, \"what could I do for you today\". She staggered to the counter, ignoring eye contact, just focused on her steps. She relaxed slightly as she let some weight off onto the counter. My finger hovering ever so slightly over there panic button located next to the computer. She still said no words as she placed an old paper prescription on the counter, one of those requiring a signature for it to be filled. The bottom of it was folded up to where it covered most of the paper, but as she released the paper, she let out a gasp. \n\nI lept across the counter when she sharply took in a breath and her eyes rolled back into her head. She dropped to her side, face pressed on the tile, still trying to force a breath. I bend down next to her, panicked. Then it was over as fast as it started, she was gone, a little trace of blood from her nose. \n\nI picked myself up, dazed. \"What did I do wrong? What could I of done differently?\" \n\nThe prescription.\n\nI reach for the paper, not knowing what I expected, there was no saving this woman; and I needed to call the police. \n\nI pick up the little crumbly paper, gently unfolding it to reveal the two sharply scrawled words attacking me from the paper...\n\nsǝpnu puǝS " ]	[ 1, 3 ]	[ "1506620071", "1506622481" ]
[removed]	[WP] Thousands huddle around their TV as Neil Armstrong steps from his spaceship to the lunar surface, and hear his first words on the moon: "This is one small step for man, one gi- what the hell?! SPQR?!"	3	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nNo recent reposts, even if changing small details ([copy-cats](http://i.imgur.com/38FjDgW.gifv)). Search before submitting as popular ideas can cause floods. If your idea is based on something you read elsewhere on reddit, chances are it's been submitted here already. Please wait at least 2 weeks before reposting.\n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/735cqu/wp_thousands_huddle_around_their_tv_as_neil/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1506656512", "1506665941" ]
[removed]	[WP]The beginning of end of the world didn't end like most thought. There were no Zombies, bombs or Wrath only.....	1	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nResponses must be at least 30 words. Prompts that are likely to generate such responses are also not allowed. This is essentially a fill-in-the-blank, or you asked a question likely to generate a simple answer. Prompts should encourage a story or poem. \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/735eqe/wpthe_beginning_of_end_of_the_world_didnt_end/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1506657218", "1506657415" ]
	[WP] After taking out all the crime bosses in Gotham you come face to face with the last 2 leaders of Gotham's biggest crime family who have alluded you for years. They are your parents who faked their murder to avoid arrest.	64	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "For years, the Gambino family had dropped hints about Scatman, the hero of the city of Gotham who had vexed all evil doers for years. Almost all, anyway.\n\nCharles and Cynthia Gambino, or The Duo, as they became known, had chiseled out a small sector of the city that was rampant with lawlessness. They employed a variety of foot soldiers to do their bidding, and ran racketeering, prostitution and back-door gambling spots that the keystone police had no way of detecting or stopping.\n\nIn the rare occasion that journalists attempted to do an expose, they were surprised to find The Duo not only approachable but also fairly amiable. Of course they denied any involvement in organized crime (who wouldn't, really?), but they were forthcoming about their vision of creating a metropolis out of Gotham.\n\nOnly one man they did not care for, a man who they never called by name but who they alluded to heavily. Journalists could read between the lines, and correctly deduced that it was The Scatman that they had in their sites.\n\nA hero with a mercuric rise, he was known for both his wondrous displays of courage as well as his insatiable appetite for human feces. It was a strong duplicity that resided in his image-- that of a kind of hero that you want to thank, but at the same time a hero you are deeply embarrassed about. Some wished him gone, for his reputation for eating human feces oftentimes overshadowed his heroic exploits in the tabloids.\n\nIt was on one crisp day that The Duo sat at a mid-town brunchery with a journalist discussing just such matters.\n\n\"And, let's just be frank here, Mr. and Mrs. Gambino-- The Scatman. We know you've alluded him for years, despite your protestations on the contrary. Why the hate?\" the chisel-jawed journalist inquired.\n\n\"Hate? Hate is a strong word, Mr. Smith,\" Mr. Gambino began, \"And this person, whom I will only allude to, I do not hate. I feel a sense of agony, to be quite honest, that he must reduce himself to such prude proclivities.\"\n\nThusly, the conversation continued far longer than it needed to, like a Jane Eyre novel. Well, not that long. I mean this is still entertaining, right? But yeah, the conversation continued, until the waiter, an elderly man who looked like Michael Cain, brought out the dishes.\n\nMr. and Mrs. Gambino were horrified to find on the journalists plate a brown, nutty sausage-looking and foul-smelling log. Before they could inquire as to its smell, the journalist eagerly shoved it into his mouth, the smears getting all over his face and hands.\n\n\"It is you!\" Mrs. Gambino shouted, dismayed.\n\n\"Dibadee-doo-bop biatch, grom grom grom this shit so tastey!\" the journalist, while ripping off his shirt and revealing his trademark symbol (it was a turd silhouette), screamed out, \"The Scatman!\"\n\n\"No, it can't be!\" Mr. Gambino screamed, jumping from his seat.\n\n\"You've alluded me for years, you ragamuffins!\" The Scatman shouted, pointing his shitty finger at them, \"Well here I am!\"\n\nA well of emotions overcame Mr. and Mrs. Gambino as they exchanged a meaningful look. Somehow they knew it was time to tell him, but how?\n\nMr. Gambino said nothing, but while maintaining eye contact with The Scatman he picked up a morsel of turd from the plate and slowly raised it to his face and gobbled it up.\n\n\"Mr. Scatman, I am your father,\" he said, the shit clogging his throat and giving him a Darth Vader voice.\n\n\"Ba deeee, doo bop,\" Scatman yelled, overcome with emotion. A tense moment ensued where neither man knew what to say. The air hung stale and heavy; so stale you could pick it up with a handful of toilet paper.\n\nThen all three embraced in a stinky group hug. The Duo wouldn't be alluding their son anymore from that day forth.\n\n" ]	[ 1, 8 ]	[ "1506713026", "1506721891" ]
	[WP] While preparing for a wedding a man attempts to tie his necktie with an Eldredge Knot, he accidently ties an Eldritch Knot.	255	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\"Damn, I can't get this knot to work for the life of me.\" It's true. He's been working at it for a solid ten minutes, diagrams laid out in front of him, and it still doesn't look even slightly like the pictures.\n\nHarry, twenty-three and nearly bald, looks up from his phone. \"You're doing it wrong. You... I don't even know how you managed to screw up that badly.\"\n\nA shrug in response. Arnold keeps toying at the tie. \"You know, I would have thought that something else would be difficult when getting married. You know... saying my vows perfectly, in front of dozens of people. Or finding a suit that actually fits. Or talking to my mother-in-law. But it turns out the main roadblock is a tie.\"\n\nAnother groomsman, Trent, sighs and stands up. He tends to dress slobby, but his parents were fairly strict when he lived at home. If anyone could tie a knot - it's him. \n\nWell, anybody in that room, specifically.\n\n\"I'm not sure what you've done here. Arnold... I can't even take it off. It's like it keeps tying more knots in itself whenever I try to take some out. Like one of those finger toy things.\"\n\nfreeeeeeedooom\n\nA beat.\n\n\"Did anyone else-\"\n\n\"Hear a creepy, nearly-silent voice murmur 'freedom'?\" Cody, still typing away at his laptop. For all intents and purposes, not in the room. Unless you want his seat.\n\n\"Yeah, that,\" finishes Arnold.\n\n\"Nope.\" Cody cracks his neck. \"But that would be really weird, I have to say.\"\n\nThe other groomsmen nod. None of them meet eye contact with Arnold.\n\nNone of them meet eye contact with Arnold because they aren't there. \n\nTo be more specific, because Arnold isn't there, and they aren't here. Here, which appears to be a ballroom designed by someone who spent years of their lives learning how to make sewers in movies. Here, which is not the room Arnold was in mere seconds ago, and not one he recognizes.\n\nHere, which is another damn roadblock in getting married!\n\nThere's nobody in front of him, so Arnold turns around, only to stumble backwards, suppressing a shout.\n\nThere, in all its glory, is a ten-foot-tall humanoid spider thing with fangs the size of Arnolds hand. None are symmetrical and not one is actually straight; each one bends and winds and swirls along its entire length. The only similarity is that each appears to be razor sharp.\n\nAnd the legs... Arnold avoids looking at the legs.\n\n\"Huuuuman... you have... summoned me.\"\n\n\"Damn it, MarxIa, I thought we were over this! And cut the crap. I know you screwed with my tie!\" \n\n\"Fine, Arny. But... an eldritch bond is not so easily broken. I wove myself into that tie, and you knotted it. You tied the knot, Arny. You're mine now.\"\n\n\"Let me guess. Your slithering half-wolf-half-mongoose 'boyfriend' left you again. This can't keep happening every few months. I have a life, MarxIa! And you're not a part of it.\"\n\n\"I could eat you right now, boyyy. Watch your tongue.\"\n\n\"Yeah, right. Now how do I get out of here? My wedding starts in an hour, and I can't be late.\"\n\nThe creature groans, as much as she is capable of doing so. \"Take off the tie, and you'll be transported back. But Arnold... you know, we could have had a wonderful life-\"\n\n\"Welcome back to the land of the living, Arnold. Glad you could join us.\" Cody doesn't even look up from his computer.\n\n\"I, er, okay.\" Arnold glances around the room. Not a single person is paying the least attention to him.\n\nAnd, he realizes after a moment, his tie is gone.\n\n^^^^r/forricide", "\"You know I hate cliches, but this is honestly the happiest day of my life.\" That's what Jim said to me that day, and I believed him. We'd been friends for twelve years and if there was one thing I could count on with him, it was his honesty. We'd grown up in the same town and by a twist of fate eventually ended up being roommates in college, along with someone else, a bit of a loner named Simon.\n\n\"I've honestly never worn a tie before, I'm still trying to work this out...\" Simon, standing just behind the two of us bemoaned, staring at the twin ends of his necktie with a befuddled expression. His skin was as pale as it had ever been, but with the familiar awkward patches of rose-red on his rounded cheeks and small, orb-like nose. He was certainly the strangest of the three of us and under different circumstances we might not have been friends, but by then we had been through so much together that I couldn't imagine it any other way at this point. It was a given that Jim would be the one to get married first. He'd met his girl that first year of college and she'd gotten her hooks into him the moment she found out he was pre-med. As much as it hurt Simon and I to admit it, we saw from the beginning what she really was. \n\nFor years we'd periodically try to bring up the subject, but each time Jim was insistent that he knew better, and after awhile picking open that scab became increasingly taboo. It seemed impossible that we should try to bring it up today of all days, but after talking to each other beforehand, Simon and I had resolved one last time to try and save our friend. So first chance we had, we herded Jim away from the gathering of everyone's friends and relatives, fighting back the stones in our stomachs and lumps in our throats to try and deliver our friend one final time. \n\n\"Listen, I know what you guys are really trying to do, and I want to say something first.\" He had said as soon as we'd found a room to be alone in. From his expression, he'd been anticipating this moment from the day he formally invited us to be his groomsmen. \"I love you guys, and I get it. I'm moving forward with my life, and you guys are scared things are going to change, that we won't see each other anymore, but Molly isn't the person you think she is, you were wrong about her back when we met and you're still wrong now.\" His words hung in the air awkwardly, ushering in a painful silence. How had he misunderstood us so badly? How many times had we tried to show him the patterns of behavior in their relationship? The way she isolated him, the way she used his success for her own gain. It was painful to watch, especially for those of us that had watched it all unfold from the start.\n\n\"I'm serious guys, I can't be doing this right. I mean, I only looked at the instructions on Wikihow like twice, so I'm not really confident I know what I'm doing.\" Simon finally broke the silence, his tie now a jumble of strange folds, twists, and knots. He let out a forced guffaw, clearly trying to break the tension at his own expense, a self-deprecating sense of humor we'd come to love from him. He was the jokster of our trio to be sure, but this wasn't the time for jokes. My expression must have given me away, because I saw it immediately mirrored in Jim's face. A sternness, an ardent and determined look I'd seen before in countless fights over the years. Between us I could feel the old wound peeling away, and from it fresh anger would soon flow.\nI remember the conversation now only in bits and pieces.\n\n\"You were never happy for us, and I can't tell you how many times she's been right about you! You know she told me you'd pull this today, too? I told her she was wrong, but deep down I believed her.\" He pressed his fingers to his temples and turned away from us, I remember him leaning against the windowsill to stare at the congregation of cars outside the chapel. I pleaded with him, calmly at first, but our tempers continued to flare. We were like that, him and I, always butting heads in our equally matched stubbornness.\n\n\"Guys?\" Simon spoke out again, but we barely heard him over the sound of our own self-interest. \"Something's...something's really wrong.\" He tried again to get our attention, but it wasn't until we felt the rumble beneath our feet that we finally noticed what had happened. Throughout our fighting he had been twisting and tying and knotting and un-knotting the loop of cloth around his neck, and what had become of it defied explanation. The angles and curves of the striped necktie at once looked unnatural and grim. Sharp edges blurred into sanguine forms, like twisted bodies in deathlike struggle. The shapes and distances warped and swayed, utterly non-euclidian in their formations and the tie seemed all at once to be much larger and longer than it had ever been before. My eyes began to quiver even as I looked upon it and I could hear Jim behind me stumble into a hat rack as he attempted to avert his eyes.\n\nI could barely open my mouth to scream before it all began to fall apart. The languid, flowing fabric began to weave around Simon, the room about us pulling further apart and crushing everything in it together in a maddening chaos. I could not tell when the sky outside turned black, but it was the last thing I noticed before my sight exploded into a flash of conflagrate darkness. I could hear screams, and the choked gurgles of Simon's windpipe slowly crushing itself and something else. Something emerging from his chest, from his whole being and filling the room. A heretical choir of cries and blasphemous invocations rose in hellion screams above the rattling din of the chapel's constant bone-like quaking. My final thoughts, a final moment of clarity before madness devoured my sanity like the shrimp cocktail that we'd enjoyed only hours prior. As the thing filling the room pressed us against the shrinking space we occupied between reality and this small annex of a wedding chapel, I couldn't help but regret it.\n\nI really should have bought Simon a clip on." ]	[ 1, 24, 90 ]	[ "1506739102", "1506743059", "1506742680" ]
	[WP] "I think I hear him coming, should we run, or hide?"	6	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Quick hide!!!\n\nOh my God did he see us? \n\nNo, i don’t think so. Just stay behind the couch, we should be ok.\n\nJenny holds her younger sisters hand assuring her they hadn’t been spotted.\n\n“Emma it’s ok, he didn’t see us”\n\n“I’m so nervous, my heart is beating a mile a minute Jen”\n\n“I know, I know but you need to calm down so we can do what we need to do, we have been planning this for weeks now and only get one chance”\n\n“What if it doesn’t work, what if we mess up”\n\n“We won’t, trust me, now get ready I think he’s getting closer”\n\nJenny maneuvers behind the couch right under the light switch to the big room. She reaches into her pocket and hands Emma a small cylinder “Remember point it right above him and pull the string, he won’t see it coming”\n\nEmma looks to her sister for the signal \n\nJenny mouths silently and motions with her hands 1...2....3...NOW!!\n\nJenny and Emma both jump to their feet from behind the couch, Jenny hitting the light switch and she comes up and Emma taking aim...she pulls the string..BANG!!!\n\n\nSURPRISE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!", "My little sister was crouched beside me. It was dark and late, we had stayed up passed curfew. She was starting to fall asleep so I shook her awake. I figured we should abort as our stake out didn't pay off.\n\n\"Did you see him?\" She said as she yawned.\n\n\"No, mission failure sis. We should call it a night.\"\n\nShe gathered up her things and we started towards the doorway. A scratching coming from the walls made me freeze in place. My sister heard it too, she had the same look I did.\n\n\"I think I hear him coming!\" She exclaimed. \"Should we run or hide?\"\n\nThe shuffling was getting louder, I had to think fast. We dove for cover behind the wall and peered into the room we just exited from. Scrapping continued for a few minutes followed by a thump. He was in. I had to look, I had to. Slowly I approached the corner of the wall and glanced into the room. There he was. My sister attempted to look as well but the floor groaned under her step.\n\nThe man looked in our direction. Thankfully we pulled our heads back in time. My breathing was laboured, all this excitement was getting to me. We were probably going to get in some kind of trouble for this, but it was worth it now. Steps could be heard in the room where the man was. They treaded around for a few moments and then stopped.\n\nThere was a sound similar to a snapping of fingers, followed by silence. I felt that enough time had passed so I poked my head around the corner again. He had gone. Curiously, I stepped into the room and found a note on the floor. My sister followed suit, she was visibly excited with what had transpired. I called my sister over and read the note to her.\n\n\"Seth and Clair,\n\nI know that you were watching me. You two shouldn't have been down here should you have? As long as you can keep a secret, I can too. Now scurry off and get some rest, you have a big day tomorrow.\n\nThanks for the cookies.\n\nSanta\"" ]	[ 1, 1, 3 ]	[ "1506782158", "1506788851", "1506788431" ]
	[WP] You made a promise to your childhood best friend to never cause them pain. Unfortunately, you can't break this promise, and they have taken over the world as a super-villain. You're the only vigilante left, so you have to resort to causing them minor inconveniences until they snap.	60	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\"And then, after I beat all the strongest heroes, we'll take over the world!\" said Iceman. His name was Desmond, but ever since third grade, he'd asked me to call him by his supervillain alter ego. He seemed to enjoy it, and I was indifferent. It didn't seem to be causing any harm—at least, not at the time.\n\n\"Sure thing, Iceman,\" I nonchalantly nibbled on the end of my pencil.\n\n\"Wait, is that mine? You always take my stuff—and you're eating it! Gross!\" Iceman seemed visibly shaken.\n\n\"Sorry,\" I paused, \"Do you want it back?\"\n\n\"No, you can keep it.\" His face contorted as a thought replaced his annoyance. \"I did it. I finally figured out your sidekick name.\"\n\n\"What's that?\" I said nonchalantly. \n\n\"Thorn! Get it? Because you're a thorn in my side. It's a perfect name,\" said Iceman.\n\nHe held out his hand, inviting a high-five. I shrugged and our hands met in agreeance. Iceman didn't have any powers back then, but his palms were cool to the touch. \n\nThe two of us had an atypical dynamic throughout high school. He joined the debate team; I distracted him with silly faces from the audience during the most critical exchanges. We ran marathons; I ran behind him and occasionally stepped on the heels of his shoes. At lunch, when he wasn't looking, I would steal his french fries. I'm sure he hated it, but we were still best friends. \n\nThe night of our graduation, he turned to me. His eyes were surprisingly firey. \n\n\"It's almost time, Thorn, \"just like we planned. We're about to take over the world.\"\n\n\"Whatever you say, boss,\" I smiled. Everyone in the auditorium emitted a sense of accomplishment. Our fellow classmates through their caps into the air as Iceman turned to me.\n\n\"You have to promise me, no matter how hard it gets—we won't ever hurt each other. We're going to rule the world together,\" he said.\n\nI flipped the tassel from my hat into his face. He blew it out with a quick, cool huff.\n\n\"Sure, I promise. After all, it wouldn't be much fun ruling the world alone,\" I said.\n\nSome people say that college is a time for adventure and self-discovery. For Iceman, it was a time for consolidating power and defeating heroes. During his freshman year, he learned he could crystalize his hands into shards of ice. The hockey team seemed most impressed, and he quickly became a campus icon. I frequently turned the shower temperature down during morning routine to see if it would give him full-body ice armor. It did.\n\nBy sophomore year, he learned he could contain the ice to a short blast. None of the fraternities challenged us to a snowball fight. On April Fools Day, I replaced his sugar shaker with salt. He didn't like that either.\n\nBy junior year, he had grown into his powers. He was everything you'd expect of an ice-themed villain without the white hair and blue skin. The friends we made freshman year started giving us a cold shoulder. Sure, Iceman still had me—but he hated being ignored. One-by-one he sought out the country's strongest heroes. RubberRoy, PidgeonMan, and PoliceNinja fell with ease. As it turns out, ice is a pretty efficient way of winning fights. His battle with FireSoldier was the high-rated news special of all-time. The country wept when the soldier's flame finally went out.\n\nI watched from the loveseat of our dormroom. When Iceman returned that night, I knew what I had to do.\n\n\"So you beat, FireSoldier, huh?\" I asked as he walked in.\n\n\"Yeah, I'm really sore. I need a medical pack.\" he heaved himself onto the couch.\n\n\"Uhh...about that,\" I said as I faked a stammer.\n\n\"You used them all?!\" he said.\n\n\"You knew I had those paper cuts. Why didn't you get more?\" I said.\n\n\"And you knew I had my fight today. Jeeze, you can be so inconsiderate,\" Iceman replied.\n\n\"Sorry,\" I said as I scribbled in my notebook.\n\nHe sighed. \n\n\"Well I finally did it. I took over the world for us, Thorn,\" said Iceman. \"What do you want to do now?\"\n\n\"Hmm,\" I paused in thought, \"wanna get some pizza?\" I asked.\n\n\"Pizza?!\" he said in disbelief.\n\n\"You're right. They might not deliver to this address again after you froze the last guy,\" I said.\n\n\"I took over the world and all you want to do is eat pizza?!\" he screamed.\n\n\"That's all I really want to do right now,\" I said lazily.\n\n\"You never want to do fun supervillain things. Sometimes I wonder why I made you my sidekick,\" he said wearily.\n\n\"Well we can't really go out and party. Everyone is afraid of you,\" I said.\n\n\"Afraid of me?\" he asked slowly.\n\n\"Yeah-\"\n\n\"You mean afraid of us?\" he declared.\n\n\"Not really, no one really knows who I am,\" I said, clicking my tongue. Iceman hated that.\n\n\"Sure they do-\" he paused, \"Is-is that my pencil?!\"\n\nI removed the chewed pencil I'd been doodling with from my mouth.\n\n\"I told you not to do that anymore!\" he said breathily. His wounds must have been setting in.\n\n\"I can't help it, Desmon-\" I said.\n\n\"What?!\" he interrupted me. \"What did you just call me, Thorn?\"\n\n\"Shit, sorry. I forgot,\" I said\n\n\"You're so immature...I can't even stand to look at you right now. I'm going to take a quick shower,\" he walked into the bathroom. Hot water rushed out of the room like fog. As soon as I heard him sigh in relaxation, I twisted the temperature knob.\n\n\"This won't hurt, buddy. I promise! You just have to chill for a bit\" I said.\n\nThe cold water collided with his body and slowly encased him in a crystal shell. I held the temperature dial firm as he reached for it sluggishly. His wounds made him weaker than usual. I held him away with ease. \n\n\"You're so...\" he said as the ice shell neared his face, \"annoying.\"\n\n\"I know,\" I said.\n\n\"I'm done trying to rule the world with you. When I get out, I'm going to move to Bermuda and work as a bartender,\" he said as his eyes glazed over.\n\n\"That sounds fun, Iceman. That sounds fun.\"" ]	[ 1, 19 ]	[ "1506805024", "1506809224" ]
	[WP] I could really use a comedy right now, so please tell me about two cat ladies arguing over which cat belongs to whom.	102	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\"Oh do I have something special for you!\" Doris said affectionately to the creature as she pulled a cough drop out of her purse. \n\nThe animal dexterously struggled through the cellophane wrapping to reveal a disappointing surprise. It instinctively gave it a few nibbles before dropping it to the ground. \n\n\"He doesn't eat cough drops!\" snapped Esther. \"Here, mama has a biscuit.\"\n\nEsther reached in her pocket and unfolded a napkin-wrapped hunk of green jello. It grabbed the dessert, napkin and all, before she could barter with it for a trick. \n\n\"Well that's not proper food for a kitty either! And you're going to confuse him calling yourself 'mama.'\"\n\n\"Goodness, I may not have birthed it, but its like a child to me,\" Esther retorted, petting the animal which was fully fixated on the green glob. \"And I can't get it food anymore since they took my dang license away! It's not right I tell you, I have been driving my whole life. Now all I can get for Fanny is some spare dessert from diner.\"\n\n\"That's not what I mean Esther, you know darn well that cat is mine! And it's name is Bandit. I named him for that precious robber mask he got over his eyes.\"\n\n\"You're not takin' him from me Doris! I lost my license but I'm not gonna lose Fanny!\" Esther snapped, pulling her beloved cat into a protective hug. It reached frantically for the napkin it had been torn from. \n\nDoris and Esther continued to argue on their solitary park bench on the front lawn of Merry Meadows Senior Care Center until they were startled by a sudden shriek behind them. The trio turned around to see a panicked nurse grasping a stick defensively.\n\n\"PUT THAT DOWN ESTHER! I'M CALLING ANIMAL CONTROL!\" the nurse shouted. \n\n\"Run for it Fanny,\" Esther whispered in it's ear while lowering him gently to the grass. \n\nThe indifferent racoon waddled away, pondering whether the mediocre goo glob was worth it.\n\n" ]	[ 1, 59 ]	[ "1506815396", "1506828949" ]
[deleted]	[WP] I opened my eyes and looked around me, but I could see nothing at all.	1	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\"Shit. I knew it was gonna happen someday, but it only felt like a millennial ago when Earth was finally consumed by the sun.\" \n\n Stranded in this emptiness void of what is left of this universe, after seeing galaxies pass me by, Neutron stars penetrating every inch of my body, black holes bouncing me from one end of the universe to the other, exploding stars shooting me through space, I've experienced and done it all now. Insane or sane, enlightened/benighted, happy or sad, nothing matters." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1506817146", "1506817993" ]
Got me thinking, what if god was really just a slobbish looking neckbeard guy unknowingly playing a life simulation game from his couch that had effects on the events of Earth.	[WP] "What if god was one of us, just a slob like one of us."	4	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "It was two in the afternoon already and He still wasn't up. To say this had been going on for the last three weeks would be kind. To say it's been closer to an eternity would be more accurate. \n\nI've been taking care of Father ever since He lost His creative spark. The flood gave Him all sorts of issues. He kept second guessing Himself. He'd always come to me for validation. \n\n\"Was I too harsh? I mean I'm trying. I'm really trying over here. Be honest with me, Son. Am I a bad guy? Am I a bad Dad?\" \n\nIn the early days, reassurance was all too common. With a common roll of the eyes, I'd typically reply with, \"No, Father. You are perfect. For sin is not a part of your character. You are the Almighty One. Remember?\" \n\nI knew I was just enabling Him, delaying the inevitable. His ego was the helium and the world was His balloon, and it was ready to pop. It didn't help that every angel in heaven needlessly fed Him compliments as if He were an out of work actor who was trying to land the most important role of His career. \n\nAt least I didn't initiate the enabling. I waited for Him to come to Me like a normal person. He'd sheepishly approach Me with an abundance of self-pity and insecurity that He would try to disguise as 'the torment He endured from the sin of mankind.' He thought He was subtle and that He had always cleverly chosen His words. Look who He was talking to. I'm the Son of God for Christ's sake. \n\nAfter hemming and hawing over every little thing (you should have seen this guy with the Ten Commandments; what a perfectionist) for what seemed like forever, you could see He was starting to get frustrated. \n\nThis was the point where everything was done out of spite or wrath. Chastise this, set fire to that. Keep in mind that this behavior lasted for a few thousand years. I mean, I love the big guy but enough's enough already. \n\nAs centuries turned into millenia, He was growing weary and was noticeably overwhelmed. That's when He gave Me My human form and decided it wasn't His problem anymore. This was the first sign of My Father truly giving up. \n\nAt first it was a late night out here and there. Then, it turned into a few nights a week and before you knew it, God was falling down drunk and groping angels in the middle of harp solos. \n\nMeanwhile, I'm on earth trying to forgive all of humankind for their selfish, fucked up behavior. \n\nDo you know what my Heavenly Father was doing while I was on the cross, screaming out His name in wonder to why He had forsaken Me? He was on the John, reading the 1983 July edition of Hustler magazine. He later confessed He couldn't stop gawking at Marilyn on the cover. Thanks, Dad. \n\nYou haven't heard the half of it yet. Fast forward to yesterday. It's 2:00 pm and He's still sleeping in from a late night of debauchery and drinking games... with Himself! \n\nLet me give you a little diagram of what the House of God has looked like for the last 2,000 years. \n\nWhen you first walk in, the foyer is just an explosion of laundry. You've truly never seen so many dirty, white robes. The coat rack was dismantled a couple hundred years ago to create some type of sword fighting experience. God was still stuck in medieval times and thought it was \"fun.\" \n\nWe used to have a grand piano. Let's just say that this is God's primary subject used for blowing off steam. His anger is not like anger you're accustomed to seeing. He can smash his fist down and shatter most household items from hundreds of miles away. He's got a thing for this piano though. So much so that he keeps reassembling it after his tantrums. The piano is in pieces at the moment. This honestly concerns Me, as it might mean YHWH is spiraling a little further downward than I'm used to seeing. \n\nMoving into the living room, we have a sectional that now looks like a pack of two year old Labradors were left alone with it for the better part of their young lives. \n\nCovering the living room and dining room floors are a collection of mouse traps, taco mixings, and an obscene amount of Kleenex. \n\nThe bathroom really isn't that bad. This is mostly because Dad rarely uses it. He loves pissing on anything He's not supposed to and He constantly boasts about His upper deck dumps. I've caught some turds in the kitchen sink before as well, so I can only imagine He finds some sneaky places to shit and then giggles about it. The last time Father took a shower was definitely before the Industrial Age. It is ripe in here. \n\nThe kitchen is just crumbs, roaches and open boxes of mini Ritz bits cheese sandwiches. \n\nIf you can get into His room (your best chance is if He is severely passed out), you'll find yourself knee high in empty Jim Beam bottles, a porn collection in the corner, and cartons upon cartons of Virginia Slim 120s. That last one is a BIG secret! I'm not sure what would happen if He found out the whole gang up here knows He smokes them, but it wouldn't be pretty. \n\nThe basement is mostly just tools and an extra fridge for beer. There is a massive big screen TV down there, just in case God gets rowdy and wants to 'roid out on some football.\n\nI was in the living room, seething and waiting for the Lord Almighty to present Himself so I could give Him My daily lecture and get on with My day already. \n\nIt was then that I heard a faint snicker. It sounded like it came from a thirteen old boy but I knew it was Him. He hadn't been sleeping at all the entire time. He started drinking early in the morning and I just knew it was going to be one of those days. \n\n\"Goddammit! Dad! Get out here. We need to talk!\" \n\nThe house went silent. I could see His shit-eating grin in My mind. Yes. It was going to be one of those days. \n\nThe door came creaking open, ever so slowly. Then, His head just barely poked out and sure as shit, that stupid, immature face that I had grown to resent lit up the room.\n\nThat's one thing that really pisses me off about Him. It doesn't matter if He's kind and caring or a perverted asshole. He is always surrounded by an awesome, radiating glow. It's bright and beautiful and it's just not right. \n\nHis shiny presence crept further out into the hallway revealing a mostly naked Man-like beast who had clearly had fifty too many bourbons. He had mangled His robe to loosely cover His proud specimen that He enjoyed so much. \n\nHe did a dance that was an odd combination of ballet, tap and river dancing. He looked at me, expecting me to be impressed and finally blurted out, \"What? You're no fun anymore. You haven't been fun in ages.\" \n\n\"You haven't been sober in over nineteen hundred years.\" \n\n\"Shut up! You think this is easy for Me?\" \n\nHe had that look on His face. The same one He gets right before He turns off \"Terms of Endearment\" and runs to His room, whimpering. He was able to gather Himself, but then His tone changed to a snotty one. \n\n\"You don't know what it's like. Spoiled your whole life. Oh, look at Me. I can walk on water. Watch this water turn to wine. Fish, fish. Bread, bread.\" \n\nThe mocking was really out of control, even for Him. \n\n\"Dad. I really don't even know what to--\" \n\n\"I've been performing miracles since before You were born!\" \n\nThen, in the blink of an eye, he snapped and burst into tears. \n\nYou might feel sorry for the guy. Emotional turmoil, addiction, depression. \n\nDon't. Even I only have so much patience. He's lazy, inconsiderate and makes no effort to change. \n\nBut, being the good Son that I am, of course I sauntered over to Him and consoled Him. I gently put My arm around Him. I rested His head on My shoulder. He looked pathetic. Like a sad, confused creature who had just averted a predator. \n\nThis was My Father. He has no hope. He got lost in a dark path that led to self-indulgence and irreverent madness. Even the all powerful, all knowing Ones have their moments of weakness. His has just happened to last the majority of the age of civilization. \n\nBut He's my Dad. And I love Him. On the other hand, if He keeps this up for another couple thousand years, I may not be quite so forgiving. " ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1506833466", "1506851988" ]
	[WP] The AI is trying to kill all humans to reduce the total number of humans going to hell.	0	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Rain clattered relentlessly on the windshield and was pushed aside by the wipers, which worked in a hasty rhythm. I stopped my car directly in front of the house to which I had been called, a totally run-down apartment building looking just like all the other buildings in this street. \n\nBefore I had the chance to make my arrival known, the front door flung open and two figures hurried through the downpour to my backseat. \n\n\"To the hospital, quick!\", demanded the man who had entered the car second and shut the door. Without further ado, I maneuvered the car back onto the street and started into the direction of the closest hospital, which was about ten blocks away. \n\nSoon I was stopped by a red traffic light. I took a glance in the rear view mirror. The other passenger was a woman who cowered on the seat behind me so that I couldn't get a good look at her because she was covered in a shabby dark coat. As she was the one groaning at a stretch, she was probably the one seeking medical attention. \n\n\"What's wrong?\", I asked with curiosity. \n\nThe woman didn't react to my question, but her companion answered: \"She is in labour.\" \n\nMy eyes went wide when I realized what this meant. \"Are you stupid?\"\n\nFlabbergasted the man knit his brows. \"What's your problem, man?\"\n\nI quickly realized that I was right. I had picked up these people from a de facto slum, so it was actually very likely that they did not know what was going on. The fact that hospitals weren't safe for giving birth anymore was not common knowledge. I had found out about it in course of my software engineering studies. Driving people around was only a side job to keep myself afloat.\n\nThis put me in a very tricky situation. If I kept silent, that unborn baby would die before it reached its first birthday. But where exactly was I to bring these people instead? \n\nThe light turned green, and my car floated along with the traffic, my motions to steer it were done unconsciously as my mind was occupied with something else. \n\n\"What's your problem, man?\", the man repeated his question because I had not reacted to it. I felt pressured to give an answer. What was I to do? It would most certainly trigger a panic if the public found out what was going on, which was why everything was kept under wraps. But I couldn't just send a new family to its demise either. \n\nThe moaning of the woman behind me grew louder and more pained. Goddamn it, I thought and turned right at the next crossing.\n\nThe voice of the man sounded panicked as he shouted: \"What are you doing, the hospital is straight ahead! Can't you see this is an emergency?\" \n\n\"I am trying to save that childs life, so stay put, okay?\" I hissed back. I really wasn't the 'hero' type of guy, but in this moment I had found my resolve: I would bring those two to the dorms of the medical apartment at my university. Certainly there would be people willing to help. It was our best shot. If all went well, I wouldn't even need to explain why this had been necessary. This could actually work.\n\nExcept the man had no intention to stay put. An unfamiliar clicking sound from the backseat made me check the rear view again. I stared right down the barrel of a small handgun. Looked like this wouldn't work so smoothly after all. I tried to calm myself with the rationale that the man couldn't exactly shoot me and risk an accident hurting the pregnant woman. Still I felt the blood drain from my face.\n\n\"Drive to the f***ing hospital! What is going on here?\", the man screamed in anger. There was no way to change directions for another 300 meters and traffic moved slow, so I wouldn't be able to do as he said right away. I could only talk to calm the man with the gun right now. \n\nMy resolve to save a life but prevent a nationwide panic vanished as fast as it had formed. The gun made me prioritize the life though, so I talked: \"Ehm, you know, a hospital is the last place you want to bring your child to these days. There is an AI running crazy right now, trying to kill babies and small children, and hospitals are too easily hacked.\"\n\n\"What are you talking about?\" This was the first time the woman said something.\n\n\"The framework for the AI was sold on the dark net and some religious splinter group got its hands on it. Obviously they knew next to nothing about AI. The best thing they came up with was turning it into some missionary tool and programming it to make sure humans won't go to hell. They definitely had something different in mind, but that's the problem with AI - you don't really know what it will do to reach its goal. That is why there was this agreement to not let AIs have access to the internet, but those people ignored that as well. So now there is this AI with access to the whole world wide web trying to make sure people won't have the chance to sin so that they will go to hell according to the set of rules it was taught. And apparently the AI came to the conclusion that the simplest way to achieve this goal is to kill a human before it has the chance to sin. The younger the better apparently. But if you have sinned already, the AI won't come after you apparently, it sees you as a lost cause, so almost all grown ups are safe.\" \n\n\"Are you serious?\" The man had lowered his gun and was obviously confused. \n\nAlthough in pain, the woman asked simply: \"Which religion?\" \n\n\"Christianity, I think.\" I answered. I wondered what this woman was thinking.\n\n\"Then it's safe!\", she said relieved, and she sounded oddly convinced of it. \n\n\"How could that be?\", I wanted to know.\n\n\"You see, Hank and I aren't married, so our child is a bastard.\"" ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1506848073", "1506855318" ]
	[WP] One day, completely out of the blue, you start hearing a voice in your head that isn't yours. You realize the voice belongs to an actual person on the other side of the world, and he can hear you too.	348	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "I finally broke up with my boyfriend. Three years had been more than enough. Manipulation and aggression are not what I envision as parts of the rest of my life, so I finally let them go. The drive across the country was long, the interviews for new jobs were challenging, and the search for an apartment was tedious, but these obstacles were entirely worthwhile to escape his negativity. \n\nI lay in my bed, staring at the dusty ceiling fan, sweating in the new space without functioning utilities, searching for solace. Boxes filled with my life surround me. Some of them are gaping open like a nymphomaniac at a strip club, contents dripping out as lustful salivation. Some are retracting in a lonely corner, almost shameful of what they contain. Sitting up in bed, I wipe sweat off my forehead and sigh painfully, trying not to break down. \n\n“It’s going to be okay.” \n\nI scream at the sound of a man’s voice in my empty apartment. I run into the kitchen and grab a pan out of the box labeled “cooking”. If Rapunzel can fend off an intruder with a frying pan, so can I. \n\n“Whoa! Hey, I didn’t mean to scare you! I’m not actually with you right now.”\n\nPan still tight in my grip, I sputter, “Y-you’re not? Then where are you?” Am I going crazy? \n\nThe voice laughs lightly, and says, “I’m in Australia, mate. We’re connected telepathically.” \n\nWhat the fuck. I slowly drop the frying pan. I think I just need some sleep to set myself straight. \n\n“O-Okay...” I trail off, and head back to my room and open the window. The view of Los Angeles is pretty incredible from here, especially with the city all lit up. It’s not much cooler, but there’s movement in the air and that should help. \n\n“Well? Do you have any questions?” The man’s voice seems as confused as I am. I am curious, but hopefully a little shut eye will just make it go away. \n\n“I’m going to bed,” I say aloud, even to sate my mental need for direction. I collapse on the mattress, and quickly knock out for the night.", "The day my life changed forever?\n\nIt was a beautiful snowy day in rural Maine, and that was just the way I liked it. I lived in a house just outside of my childhood home of Bar Harbor. Although a couple of cousins lived with me and split the mortgage, this particular morning saw just me, alone, with a cup of hot chocolate and the crackle-crackle sound of a warm, cozy fireplace.\n\nAbsolute silence. I reveled in the calm --- drank it up as I slowly awoke. My cousins were out hunting moose with nothing but a sawed-off shotgun and some nails. Normally I'd be out joining them, but sometimes after all the antics one could find oneself up to living in the wilderness unattended, one needed a day to just relax.\n\nAs I finished the cup of hot chocolate and fumbled around my surroundings for a pack of Pyramids and a lighter, I heard it.\n\n我真的需要減肥\n\nMy mind suddenly went blank. There was absolute silence again, this time unnerving rather than peaceful, before I just chuckled and thought to myself, \"oh that's funny, for a second I could have sworn I heard an old lady speaking in Chinese\".\n\nAlmost immediately, like thunder echoing out after the lightning strike, I heard the voice again. It was sharper, angrier...\n\n這是什麼東西？！\n\nMy eyes bugged out of my head. There was certainly someone in my house, I rationalized. As I started searching my house for this intruder, I snuck over to the garage and grabbed a trusty tire iron. Old lady or not, someone needed to get the fuck out.\n\nProblem was, after thorough searching, all the while thinking in my head about how I was going to find this person (and hearing frantic, nonsensical Chinese in reply), I came to the conclusion that the voice wasn't in the house.\n\nThey were in my head.\n\nMaybe it was the product of an overactive imagination. Maybe I was coming off of yesterday's mushroom session a little worse off than I had intended (shouldn't I have been over that already?). Maybe I was just alone and going insane --- but there was definitely an old Chinese woman screaming at me in my head.\n\nUnable to understand, make it stop, or work up more than annoyance as the realization set in, I decided I should try and wind back, and I went back to my happy place.\n\nIn front of the fireplace, with another hot cocoa and, this time, a spliff. If it didn't help, it would at least make me care less.\n\nI had been granted a period of relative silence before, halfway through my spliff, I heard it again.\n\n公雞吸盤！開始說話！\n\n\"Oh what now, you old bat?\" I groaned. Her response was met with absolute concentration, as she repeated, very carefully,\n\n哦 (o)\n\n襪 (wa)\n\n腦 (nao)\n\n宇 (yu)\n\n哦-大 (o-da)\n\n馬 (ma)\n\nThere were some other miscellaneous sounds --- background chatter in our minds --- before I heard her talk again specifically to me, with the same carefulness.\n\n胃 (wei)\n\n阿 (a)\n\n宇 (yu)\n\nI had to think for a moment before it hit me.\n\n-Where are you-.\n\n\"My house,\" I responded, before grabbing my phone and going into Google Translate.\n\nI set it to Chinese and typed in, \"my house\".\n\n我家 --- (wôjiā)\n\nThis lady had a temper. For a moment it was a bunch of screaming --- 這不是你的房子! And then, whatever communication method she was using kicked in, as she concentrated again and her thoughts became clearer to me.\n\n\"No...\"\n\nShe said no.\n\nAnd suddenly we both understood. I know we understood by the return of total, deafening silence. It was the only way we could go around the language barrier and signify that we understood. Somehow, we were interlinked, across land and sea, through an invisible link we couldn't begin to describe in any language.\n", "I was laying on the operating table. My eyes were closed but my ears were wide open. I heard the doctors talking about how they were going to approach the tumor in my abdomen.\n\"It's a huge tumor, how should we approach this,\" one of them questioned. The rest of them just murmured until one came up with a solution that I don't quite remember now. I immediately knew that something was wrong. I was supposed to be asleep. I started to panic. I screamed and cried but no one could hear me. \n\"Stop screaming, it is getting really annoying, and I would really appreciate a stop to it,\" a voice said. I stopped. \n\"Who are you,\" I asked, although I figured no one would hear me.\nThen I felt a sharp pain in my stomach I screamed and cried once again, and once again the voice asked me to stop. The initial incision is finished, and although it is still painful, I have stopped screaming. \n\"My name is Anderson. This means we are meant to be together, ya know that right?\" the American voice told me. I had no clue what he meant at all.\n\"What? I am pretty sure this is all just a way for me to cope with what is happening,\" I explained to Anderson, who I was sure was just a figment of my imagination. \n\" Not at all, I'm real. And I know what is happening to you right now, which is why I am talking to you,\" he said.\n\"What do you even mean? You're confusing me so much right now,\" I said. \n\"My company has recently come out with a new technology. The technology lets one person find their soulmate and then talk to them wherever they are in the world. The only catch is that right now it only works if one of the people is in a traumatic situation, which you are in right now. It is still in its testing phase, so that is why it has those limits,\" Anderson explained to me. \nThis has got to be some kind of hallucination, I thought. \n\"Nope, it is most definitely not a hallucination. I can tell you anything you want about yourself. I can tell you something that is happening right now that you would not even know. I know that your name is Halogena, but you think that sounds extremely stupid, and so you go by Hal. You are 27, and you have four sisters. Also, I know that right now, this technology is being broadcast on the news, and when you get out of here you will watch it,\" he told her. \n\" Well if you're my soulmate then why have we not met yet?\" I questioned him. \n\"Because we were not meant to meet. We were supposed to wait until this. We would have met at some point. I know that you have a trip planned to go to New York City after this surgery. That's where I live. You would have knocked your coffee onto me, and we would have sat down and eaten. I would have told you that I was moving to Australia, and I would tell you that I am moving there for work,\" he explained to me. \n\"Well, what if I prefer that version, Anderson,\" I complained. \n\"We will still have that version, as long as we don't decide to change it. Hmm, look at that. You are all finished. Bye Hal. See ya soon, Hal,\" he said. And with that it was silent. \nI heard the doctors talking again, speaking about how well it went. When I started to murmur and gurgle they panicked. When I got back to my room, the doctors began apologizing profusely, telling me that they had absolutely no clue what had happened. They begged me not to sue the hospital. I had no intention of suing them. That would take so much time, and after watching the news about some new technology, all I could think about was my upcoming trip to New York City. ", "The voice had started when I was just a teenager, a child really. \n \n\n\n\"It's Britney, bitch!\"\n\n\n\nThose were the first words I heard him say. \n\n\nIt took years to realize there was a real person on the other side. Someone to talk to. The only someone. \n\n\n\"Marcy, why are you crying?\" he asked gently after my first boyfriend broke up with me. \n\n\nI asked the same when I heard his anguished screams and cries when his dad beat him.\n\n\nFor five years, we'd been constant companions, whispering our dreams, our fears, and eventually, our love.\n\n\nI stared at the tv, eyes wide with horror, his voice calm in my ear. He was flying out to meet me finally, now that we were both old enough. I could feel the tears start, the retch in my throat growing insistently.\n\n\n\"Marcy, don't cry. I love you so much. Know that I've always loved you, since our first Britney duet.\"\n\n\n\"Stevie, oh god, I love you too. Please don't leave me alone!\" I screamed back, clutching my chest, trying to hold the pieces of my breaking heart together. \n\n\n\"Marcy. Don't be scared. I'm still here. I'm still-\" \n\n\nFor the first time in five years, there was no other voice in my head.\n\n\nAnd on the TV, the second plane hit the tower. ", "“You take the left on Wilcox and go down two more lights. You’re almost there.” My mind was racing. Steven was almost here. I had been anticipating this for over a year, ever since we started dating. To say it was a long distance relationship was an understatement. I had an episode several years ago when I first heard him. My wife at the time checked me into a mental clinic, but their scans showed no damage. No one could figure out what was wrong with me, why I was suddenly hearing a voice in my head. Deep inside me I knew though that it wasn’t an auditory hallucination. I knew that he was real.\n\nSteven relayed a similar experience back to me. His husband eventually dumped him because he wouldn’t “get help”. He didn’t need help, he wasn’t sick. I wasn’t sick. They didn’t understand. No one understands, no one but us. We talked about our lives, our jobs, our goals. I never thought I was into men before...but I fell in love. Steven lived in New Zealand, so far away from me.\n\nWhen I dreamed, I could sometimes see glimmers of what he was doing in real time. It quickly became my favorite part of the day, the only time I ever got to see him. That is until today…\n\n“I’m almost there Bradley, just a block or two more.”\n\nMy heart raced; I had never been this nervous in my life. Not when I divorced Carol. Not when my children were born. Not even when they told me I wasn’t fit for visitation.\n\nThere was a knock at the door. The reverberations ran through me leaving my blood cold. Not now. NOT NOW. THEY’RE TAKING HIM AWAY FROM ME.\n\nThe door clicked open and three nurses came in, standing around me. I fought against my restraints, the stark white light blinding me.\n\n“Mr. Baker, you need to calm down. Your blood pressure is sky high. If you keep thrashing about we will have to sedate you.”\n\n“YOU WON’T TAKE HIM FROM ME!” I sputtered in fury, drenching the man. He simply wiped his face and nodded to the two others. They held my arm steady while he took a syringe from the tray. He pressed the needle into my arm and pushed the plunger down, the liquid finding its way inside me.\n\n“Bradley is every….okay….I’m…..locked….you….mental ward?....” He faded away. I hated when they sedate me. I don’t dream when they sedate me. It all spiraled away from me, down deeper into the darkness. The world fell to the left and my body gave out. My mind was coated, and the only sound I could hear was silence.\n____\n\nCheck out my subreddit /r/thesadbox for more stories. I haven't written in a while so I'm a bit rusty! Hope y'all enjoyed.", "\"Hi!\"\n\n'Hi.'\n\n\"Hi!\"\n\n'Hi.'\n\nThat was how we first met, two toddlers saying hi to each other for hours at a time. Neither of our moms noticed until we were old enough to understand that when a person isn't there, doesn't mean they're gone.\n\n\"What are you doing, Sandra?\" I would ask when I was nine.\n\n'Homework.'\n\n\"Oh nice, me too. What kind?\"\n\n'English, you?'\n\n\"Math!\"\n\n\"Kass, stop talking to yourself.\" My older sister would always say.\n\n\"But I'm not, I'm talking to Sandra!\"\n\nA time came when imaginary friends were unacceptable and we became smarter about our conversations.\n\n\"Like, oh my god! I swear he has the hugest crush for her, and—\"\n\n'Kass, my mom's car pulled in, brb.'\n\n\"Okay, let me know when you're free.\"\n\nSo while I waited I decided to play some PUBG, an online battle royal. \"Augh, this guy...\" I cursed when I saw the same xXDUMBRAXx appear at least five times after killing somebody. The number of people diminished as the battle arena shrank smaller and smaller.\n\nAnd xXDUMBRAXx hasn't died yet, in fact, he claimed another victim.\n\n\"This guy!\"\n\n'What guy?' Sandra asked. 'The one with the crush?'\n\n\"No, this game!\"\n\n'Which game?'\n\n\"PUBG!\"\n\n'Oh, turn around.\"\n\n\"Huh?\" Kass turned her character. \"DAMMIT!\" she howled when xXDUMBRAXx shot her in the face.\n\nSeconds later, Sandra proclaimed. 'Winner, winner, chicken dinner for me!'\n\n\"Sandra, that was you!?\"\n\n'Apparently!' She laughed. 'I just noticed that we don't communicate normally, do we?'\n\nFrom that day on, I friended her on steam and always made sure we played duo.", "I was staring down the barrel of a gun when I heard his voice.\n\nI mean this metaphorically, of course. I had the muzzle of the old family revolver pressed up against the roof of my mouth, below the lowest level of my eyes, which were closed anyway.\n\n\"Hi?\" The voice was tentative, young.\n\nI almost blew my brains out in shock, which would be a much more disappointing way to go than from despair.\n\n\"Hi?\" the voice said more loudly, as if speaking to someone partially deaf. \"Is anyone there?\"\n\nI lowered the gun enough to say, \"What the fuck?\"\n\n\"Oh, hey! It worked.\"\n\n\"Are you an angel?\" I asked. I looked down at the gun in my hand, but it definitely hadn't been fired.\n\nThere was a chuckle. \"Goodness, no. Those chaps don't speak to us unless we're dead. And... I say, you are alive, aren't you?\"\n\n\"I'm alive, kid,\" I said. \"For now.\"\n\n\"That's great,\" the voice said. \"That's awesome. 'Cos we're soulmates, you know.\"\n\n\"Soulmates?\"\n\n\"Yeah,\" the voice said, as if this were a perfectly natural thing to be. \"Soulmates. You know, connected over space and time. I did a spell so that we could find each other.\"\n\n\"A spell?\" I looked down at the cold metal of the revolver for reassurance. Had I shot myself after all? Or was I just mad? \"Listen, kid, I don't know what you think you're doing but-\"\n\n\"I can explain,\" the voice said hastily. \"Just give me a moment.\"\n\n\"No,\" I said. \"I don't talk to voices in my head. That way lies madness.\"\n\n\"In person then,\" he said. \"How about if we met up? Where do you live?\"\n\n\"I'm not going to tell a stranger where I live,\" I said.\n\n\"If I'm just a voice in your head, then what's the harm?\" it said. \"And if we really are soulmates... wouldn't you want to meet?\"\n\nI thought about this for a moment. Then I told him.\n\n\"Oh,\" the voice said, a little crestfallen. \"That's kind of far. But I suppose it's worth it. I say...\" here the voice hesitated, \"I say, are you a, er, a girl?\"\n\nOh, kid. \"I'm a girl.\"\n\n\"Oh, that's great,\" the voice said. \"That's just awesome. Don't go anywhere. I'm going to take the first flight I can get, and I'll be there tomorrow.\"\n\nHe wasn't there tomorrow, but he did arrive the day after that, and I didn't go anywhere, not that I could've even if I wanted to, which I did. I didn't shoot myself either, but I didn't want to do that any more.\n\nThe doorbell rang at thirteen minutes past ten, and the kid was standing on the doorstep. He was young enough to still have a few pimples, and old enough to know better.\n\n\"Hi,\" I said. \"You must be Mark. I suppose you'd better come in.\" I wheeled back to allow him space to step in.\n\nHe didn't move, just stared at me. \"You're...\"\n\n\"Old enough to be your great grandmother?\" I suggested. \"True. In a wheel chair? Also true. But I'm dying, and it's cold out there, and I don't intend to spend my last day on this world freezing my butt off. Get in.\"\n\nHe stepped in, but he didn't stop staring at me.\n\n\"But I thought...\"\n\n\"You thought that your soulmate would be younger and prettier,\" I said. \"I know. I thought the same thing too, a long time ago.\"\n\nHe blinked, finally, breaking his stare. \"What?\"\n\n\"You're not the first one to try that spell,\" I said. \"How'd you find it? A dusty grimoire in a mysterious shop that had vanished when you returned?\"\n\n\"No,\" he said, \"it was on the internet. But- but, you're a wizard?\"\n\n\"Yeah,\" I said. \"But not for much longer. Cancer's a bitch, you know. So take your coat off and come on in to the kitchen. I'll fix you up a cup of coffee, and then I'll tell you what you need to know if you're going to survive to my age in this business.\"\n\n---\n\n/r/jd_rallage\n\n" ]	[ 1, 1, 3, 6, 15, 17, 47, 77 ]	[ "1506874434", "1506904442", "1506885887", "1506884219", "1506904896", "1506881803", "1506883540", "1506881858" ]
[removed]	[WP] A new book in the Bible, Old Testament-style, detailing the Holocaust.	1	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nWhile it doesn't seem to be your intent, the mods reserve the right to remove anything we feel may become harmful to the community. This includes prompts likely to generate such responses. \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/73r9m7/wp_a_new_book_in_the_bible_old_testamentstyle/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1506927564", "1506927635" ]
	[WP] You've been able to see people's souls since birth. They take on shapes of animals, creatures, even sometimes just a blob. Except this person, they don't seem to have one...	5	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "A woman walks past me on the sidewalk. \"Umm, excuse me\", I just spurt out- blocking her path.\n\n\"Uhh, can I help you?\", she replies- shocked.\n\n\"I'm not even going to play around; what the hell are you, and where have you come from\", I sputter, not realizing what I've just asked.\n\nShe goes wide eyed. \"I knew you were like me. I just didn't want to endanger myself, who knows what kind of person you were\"!\n\n\"What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean?\". She pulls out a mirror from her purse, and shows me my reflection.\n\n\"What, what's this supposed to mean? All I see is me\". I simply don't understand what she's saying. What is she? What does she think I am?\n\n\"Exactly. Haven't you ever wondered why you can't see your own? I mean think about it, doesn't it seem strange\"?\n\nMy mind shuts out whatever she says. \"No. No, no way. You're wrong. You're dead wrong. There's no way you can be right about this, not a single chance- I know it! I know it\"! Could it be? I can see them everywhere, and I could always see them, always remember them... could I really not have one? What does that make me? What am I?!\n\n\"It's okay, only people- or things, like us can recognize others, well, like us\".\n\n\"And what is this 'us'? And what do you mean things\"?\n\n\"Well, we're not exactly humans... we're not even alive... we're dead. From all of the ones I've seen, nobody has ever spoken to me. And I haven't to them, to keep myself safe. I've done a lot of soul searching... I mean- never mind. It appears that the reason we're still here is because we just don't know how to leave. The ones with those things inside of them are alive\".\n\n\"But.. but they can see us? They can talk to us, I have a job! A desk, with my name on it! Explain that\"!\n\n\"Just because we're dead doesn't mean we're ghosts. We're just cursed...\"\n\n\"Cursed?\"\n\n\"Yes. I know this is difficult to understand, but you'll understand soon enough. Trust me. Let me ask you, what's the first thing you remember. Heading off to kindergarten? Your first words? Learning to walk? Crawl\"?\n\n\"What does it matter? I-...\", I silence. The first memory I can remember is of a plane. I'm getting off, I had just landed in New York. My God, that was eight years ago. \"How? My first memory is only eight years ago. I'm thirty six for fucks sake\".\n\n\"Your memory\"?\n\n\"Oh, sorry... it was, umm... well, I was getting off a plane. I landed here.. from Houston. I remember it was in January. January 25th\".\n\nShe pulls out her phone, and Google's my flight. \"Well, unfortunately, you didn't. You see, that flight never made it here. It made it, here\". She points towards a some open space in Texas. \"This post says the plane was having problems with the stabilizers, and it plummeted towards the ground after two of the engines shut down. Look here, all of the airline companies eventually sued Boeing and Rolls-Royce, and both companies shut down. They all switched to Airbus\".\n\nI'm speechless. I simply don't understand. My mind races to find a way to refute this evidence, but it gives up. \"Why? Why am I still here? What did I do wrong\"?\n\n\"You'll have to figure that out for yourself. Don't work yourself up over it, there's tons of us out here. At least now you'll notice us, and keep a lookout. Who knows, maybe you can help someone understand it too? Anyways, I've gotta go. See you around.\". \n\nShe just walks past me. It's as if she's gone through this stage a hundred times. What was I to do? Just go on to work? Is this all I can do? How can I just go back to my normal life? I'm dead! It's not even normal! It's not my life! ... I make it to work, and I just sit there. Nothing. It goes on like this for weeks. Nobody notices. Nobody cares. It's like they know it doesn't matter. I continue to check my bank account, and it never changes. No matter what I do. I can't afford anything over it, and I can't lose any of it. I'm stuck. I'm in limbo, and I have absolutely no idea how to get out of it. With this newfound knowledge, I'm feeling things I've never felt before... it's all the same, but different. I'm a slave to this world. I'm nothing.", "Since I've first opened my eyes I had ability to see this thick, colorful auras radiating form inside of people. These auras, they are souls. I can't explain how exactly I know that, I took it as a fact for my whole life...And you know when they say everyone is unique? Well, I guess it's true: I have never seen two same auras. \n\nSometimes souls look like animals or faces, sometimes everyday objects and sometimes creatures that don't resemble anything from world visible to you. From time to time, it can be funny: when you see fat guy with KFC bucket-shaped soul, but it can also be horrifying, like a man with just a grey smudge inside him.\n\nBut noting had ever scared me more then the person I'm trying to follow right now. \nThis person is empty! I can't see soul of any form. There's just nothing! When I look for aura, I see just empty space surrounded by souls of other people. And wherever this emptiness goes, all souls seem to fade away!\nWhat does it mean? How can someone be without soul? Can they steal somebody else's soul? If so, I must protect people from this abomination! I must stop it.\n\nI'm speeding up towards empty space in front of me, and finaly I can see back of my nemesis. I yell: \"hey, you!\". She turns around, her green eyes looking straight into my soul, her full lips curved in mysterious smile, and sun making her long red hair glow like strongest flames around her face: \"who, me?\" \nAs I looked at her I knew only one thing: the world will have to survive without souls." ]	[ 1, 1, 3 ]	[ "1506968272", "1506994872", "1506973749" ]
	[WP] You're sitting at work listening to the radio. The music changes, and you mutter "Not this damn song"	1	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "But you couldn't change it, you and all the other employees at the sweat shop were trapped listening to the anthem of the brutal regime that forced you to work day in and out for nothing.\n\nAs you continued making Apple cell phones there was only one certainty, at any time you could go up to the roof and end it all but you knew your family would starve and your daughter would not be wanted by your chinese overlords unless she too got a back breaking occupation for the American swine machine.\n\nYou worked 10 hours overtime that evening and into the morning to meet the demand of the new iPhone sales, when you were finally able to return home you felt followed, as always.\n\nUpon your return you couldn't wait to see your wife and children, the only beacon of light in the life you miserably wanted to escape, but as you opened the door you were instead met by an officer and soldiers.\n\n\"What is this?\" The commandant stared into you with piercing eyes, holding the bible you read to your family every night.\n\n\"Where is my family?\" You feel nothing but sorrow because deep down you knew what had happened\n\n\"Take him away\" the guards start to walk towards you when suddenly you snap and run at them.\n\nUnfortunately, they put you down like the replaceable dog you are; you float away into nothiness, and what seems like an eternity passes before awaking into perfect contentment.\n\nYou see your wife and children, they are smiling, the nightmare is finally over" ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1506976999", "1506978144" ]
	[WP] In a world where no one ever dies, you are an assassin.	11	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\n\nI, Howie T. made my way through the city in a PC. I hated how the level of the PC’s always ran at the 37th floor. It was so arbitrary, and never made sense to me in any way. What was the formative aspect for selecting that range of space to fly at? I waved my hand to my left temple. I was focusing in on the unparticular details again. These least important considerations floated in like swamp water into my own Bubbled ™ hospitable bath tub. It was my one flaw; I mouthed those words, but stop halfway through. My PTA rang silently, I clacked the pad’s oval button. The last software running popped up with the glow of the screen in the dark cabbie PC. I tapped my fingers against the glass - my karma-ish-germinating actions weren’t going so well. Of course, I knew the ultimate action of the plan was like, quite bad karma. But did I have to, really, flame the fans, sort to speak? One day five years ago, I asked my blood spiritual-leader, visiting, a second uncle (although now strictly – ‘spirit leader’) but the dude was so lost in generations of tech, he lamented some rule of always being in a state of doing good and such. My local shep said, he laid it out real clear though: thou shall do honest and godly actions in the dishonest world as God Judges you everywhere. God knows all.\n\nI concurred with Dee though, when he said: “Would ur god, like, send you to hell for killing a data node? Like basically one step up from a piece of paper.” Yeah, I said, but some dude or gal has put like a shit-ton, straight up eons of time, into that computer file slash person. Dee nodded, “If I was any good, I’d do it for just the few dollars - my man.” I was repping it with Dee for a while, but I thought about his sense of the matter at hand. He was right. The money was good, and being good gives you good back – is what they say to me in pastoral like testimonies. Now I was seeing the fruits of their words arise or drop from trees, and it was an exciting moment to see the man of truth come around after so much talk. I’d do it. I hoped out of the cabbie on a landing zone and smiled. The PTA showed a pic of the dude someone wanted gone. He’d be a lvl 1 dope when I was done with him. \n", "She's feeling worse today. I saw her yell at the kids last night. Normally she doesn't do that. She's sleeping more, too. The house is getting cluttered, and she was late to turn in her part of the big project at work. I'm getting there. \n\nI've been watching her for a while. Of all my assignments, she's been one of the toughest to take down. She's too damn happy all the time. But I always get them in the end. That's why they assign the toughest jobs to me. I have a reputation. \n\n---\n\nI caught her again today, in the supermarket. Brushed past her - she didn't even notice. She even apologized to me. After she turned around though, I saw her shudder. She wouldn't have known why she felt suddenly hopeless for no reason. But there I was. \n\n---\n\nShe's strong. She's fighting back harder than any of my marks in the past. She started a new painting today, lashing angrily at the canvas, her claws made of paint. She didn't know she was fighting me off. It's ok. I always get them in the end. \n\n---\n\nI can't explain this. No other mark has lasted this long. I know the serum is working; I see her crying on the closet floor. She fights with her husband, she stares at the mirror and thinks hateful thoughts about herself. But still she paints. \n\n---\n\nI've been let go. She sold five of her new paintings to a gallery. And she paints more every day. The more I push her down, the stronger she fights. \n\nThe higher ups said they can't ignore it any more. They've given her to \"someone who can get the job done\". I laughed when they told me. I know I'm good at my job. If I can't stop her, no one can. But to whatever sorry bastard is assigned to her next, go ahead. Go ahead and try to take her down. I've grown to like this one. Looks like you'll have to fight me now, too. ", "314 years ago, the last person too poor to afford the treatments died. The world changed a lot that day. Of course it did. Stakes got lowered, and life became less of a journey and more of a maintenance task. Language changed, too, though in subtle ways. Death became an abstract concept -- something that only happened to animals, or in history books. Medicine became the amelioration of symptoms, the art of dulling pain and providing comfort. And an assassin? Well, an assassin still does the same thing he always did. He makes a person go away forever. The methods just needed some updating.\n\nMy clients see me, understandably, as someone who can do the impossible. They pay me accordingly, and they are terrified of what they think I'm capable of. Maybe if they knew what I really did, they'd be even more afraid. You can't kill someone anymore. Not in any of the old ways. Nanomachines will break down poison, repair a wound, and even generate oxygen for the brain. I don't have any special tricks to get around it. The marketing is true: Death has Died (tm)\n\nBut just because every human in the world is roughly 10% Grey Goo Lite doesn't mean they're impervious. The immortal rich of the world bore easily, and wouldn't abide an endless life with no recreational drugs. The machines stay out of the way of minor, or even major, impairment. They only intervene to prevent death, so if you can make the right cocktail, you can still fully incapacitate anyone.\n\nMy latest quarry is sleeping soundly on my stretcher as I wheel it through the halls of the sub-basement where I do my work. She's chained up in case the drugs wear off, but they almost never do. I transfer her to the capsule, which I prepped yesterday. It's a steel tube, not-coincidentally coffin-sized, fitted with some IV hardware and access ports on the outside. After her body slumps into the capsule, I connect the IV and seal it up. The capsule gets slotted into a cavity in the stone wall. I muse, as I often do, about whether this is like a mausoleum. I've never been to one.\n\nI connect the access ports to a drip of drugs. My clients don't pay me for the comfort of continued sleep. I could let them wake up. I don't know how long the Goo could keep them alive without fresh resources, but it's almost certainly too long to be trapped in the dark. I try not to think about it. My rates more than pay for a steady supply of drugs for my guests. They will sleep peacefully forever.\n\nIf business ever dries up, though, I'm going to really hate the fact that I can't off myself.", "There are many ways to die. Not all death is physical.\n\nTake Jimmy for example. My latest target. First, I broke him down by tampering with his wife's pregnancy. She died shortly after giving birth to their newborn daughter.\n\nStill, he had hope. He named the girl Casey, and swore to the be the best father ever. \n\nI let him have a few months with her. Just long enough for him to get attached. Then, I took her. She's now growing up with a loving, adoptive family on the other side of the world. \n\nJimmy gave up. Some men are stronger than others, but he wasn't able to take losing his wife and daughter just months apart. And because he can't die, he's forced to live with it for the rest of his existence.\n\nThere are many ways to die. Not all deaths are physical.\n\n\n\n\n", "The Law has been in place for several millenia. The campaigns against it had lasted for centuries, but they were all silenced eventually. The problem was too big to ignore, and they were no other solutions. This truly was the only way.\n\nAs I strolled down the pristine white corridor, I passed the rest of my colleagues on this shift - all getting ready for the day's work ahead. It was going to busy, if previous Sundays were anything to go by.\n\nI reached my office, and my assistant handed me my schedule for the day. 28 appointments. Not bad.\n\n\"Thanks, Amber. Send the first one in please.\"\n\n\"Of course, sir.\"\n\nShe left the office, and soon returned with Lara - a woman I knew very well at this point.\n\n\"Lara, how are you this morning?\"\n\n\"Great, thanks. And you?\", she smiled. Lara had chosen to stop the aging process in her early 20s, and I felt a familiar pang of regret that I had waited until my late 30s to put a stop to mine. Still though, nothing that can be done about it now.\n\n\"Same as usual?\" I asked, already knowing the answer.\n\n\"Yep, I'm only 2 weeks along so there shouldn't be any issue, right?\" she asked, and lay down on the operating table.\n\n\"Of course not\", I replied, as she removed her lower garments. My assistant administered the sedative as I turned on the machine and got it ready. The fetus would be terminated quickly and quietly, and then I'd deal with the rest of my appointments for the day. My shift would be over soon. Just 3 and a half more decades, and I'd have time off. An entire century of free time. I smiled to myself, and got to work." ]	[ 1, 1, 3, 3, 9, 13 ]	[ "1506978777", "1506998227", "1506981560", "1507011642", "1506981617", "1506981406" ]
	[WP] You're at a party when nature calls, so you rush to find a toilet. As soon as you shut the door behind you, you find that there's something very strange about this particular bathroom.	5	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "It doesn't smell like the usual bodily fluids, I thought to myself. It smells like steel. Really corroded steel. \n\nI sit down on the can..\nAnd I'm sucked in.", "Josh was having a lovely evening. His boss and her husband turned out to be quite the charming couple, and their condo on Main Street was grander than he could have imagined. He was bedazzled by the twelve-foot ceilings, the intricate woodwork, and especially the chandeliers that seemed to be everywhere he looked.\n\nThe wine was working its way through him, so he politely asked the location of the bathroom and made his way there. Opening the door, he was greeted by a room that was probably bigger than his own bedroom. Two magnificent scones lined a mirror that was framed in marble. The sink handles looked to be made out of gold, and the spout was in the shape of a lion head. \n\nAs Josh closed the door behind him and turned around to find the lock, he heard a clink coming from the knob. He tried the handle to find that it had locked automatically. A little perturbed by the automatic mechanism, he examined the knob and door for some kind of release to no avail. As he expanded his search, he noticed an engraved plaque on the door, which read:\n\nYou must make a deposit to leave the water closet. \n\nJosh read the sign a few times and was thoroughly confused at to what was transpiring. His boss was normal; their dinner was normal; what was going on?\n\nQuickly looking around for some sort of coin feeder and finding none, Josh figured that he must use the toilet before he could leave. Wanting to quickly test the theory so he could get out of his current predicament, he turned around to find the toilet. The toilet was by the window, a floor to ceiling window, facing Main Street, with no curtains. \n", "Robert found himself in a very familiar predicament. He'd spent most of the night talking to a lovely young lass who seemed to actually find him interesting however the combination of spiced haggis bon bons mixed with copious amounts of lager was beginning to cause him distress.\n\nHe excused himself and navigated his way through the throng of people lining the hallways of the modest two bedroom flat of which he wasn't sure who actually owned the place. Outside the bathroom door people were congregated, all chatting and laughing. Normal party stuff. Already Robert could feel the anxiety of having to go whilst people were just outside the door, it reminded him of the time his older brother had friends round and jimmied the door open to all revel in how hilarious it was that his younger brother was doing a poo.\n\nRobert squeezed by and entered the bathroom, ensuring to lock the door tight and placed a towel under the door to try and dampen the noise of the incoming splashes. He unfurled toilet paper and placed a layer on the water to try and capture the sound of his shame^tzzt.\n\nTrousers round his ankles he slowly tried to ease himself into it in a feeble attempt to limit the incomming torrent or plops and pumps and finally has time to take in the surroundings. Robert's eye catches a strange occurance, the tile above the sink looks like static from a TV? That can't be right he thought to himself^tzzt^possible^tzzt^waker\n\nThe dire need to relieve himself has receded, he stands and shuffles forward. Trousers still rounds his ankles. A couple of taps on the tile didn't seem to do anything but it is definitely static^tzzt^codebrown.\n\nHe turns the tap to splash some cold water on his face, perhaps too many beers? Before he can even collect water^tzzt^suggest^of---^course-^action? in his hands the water doesn't flow normally, it comes out the tap and begins to flow up!\n\nRobert recoils back, his heart racing, the^tzzt^send^handler sounds of the party still outside. He hears a chap on the door and snaps his head to look.\nA muffled voice calls out \"Sir could you please leave the bathroom, I need to have a word.\"\nHe hesitates but replies meekly \"uh-m give me a few minutes I'm not finished.\" Why would somebody want to have a word with him? He hardly knows anybody here!\nHe hears an electronic beep from behind the door and the same voice say something about Pull him ou-\n\nA flash of light and liquid in his lungs Robert lunges forward but is held fast in place with wires and cables, he coughs up translucent gunk into his hands. He isn't in the bathroom anymore, he doesn't know where he is. A green glow permeates the room with the hum of machinery. He finds himself in a coffin shaped capsule filled with a gloppy liquid.\n\nHis gloppy casket is then surrounded by horrific creatures with rows of eyes and gigantic bulbous heads. They don't have mouths yet Robert can hear them speak in his head with an almost melodious tone.\n\n\"Human, you got too curious for your own good. You have to go back. The glitch you found has already been plugged. You will not see us again\"\n\nThe creature placed it's mandible on his forehead and he felt consciousness slip away...\n\nRobert found himself in a very familiar predicament. He'd spent most of the night talking to a lovely young lass who seemed to actually find him interesting however the combination of spiced haggis bon bons mixed with copious amounts of lager was beginning to cause him distress. He decided to hold it till he got home so he didn't interrupt this lovely conversation." ]	[ 1, 2, 3, 3 ]	[ "1506999383", "1506999647", "1507002533", "1507031525" ]
[removed]	[WP] You are a turtle.	1	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nNo recent reposts, even if changing small details ([copy-cats](http://i.imgur.com/38FjDgW.gifv)). Search before submitting as popular ideas can cause floods. If your idea is based on something you read elsewhere on reddit, chances are it's been submitted here already. Please wait at least 2 weeks before reposting.\n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/73z6p5/wp_you_are_a_turtle/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1507020824", "1507020829" ]
	[WP] You keep having ridiculous near death experiences with such frequency that Death has decided to stick around to entertain itself by watching you.	619	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "I wait until the walk sign comes up. And then I wait until I am in the middle of the crowd. My heel breaks and I have to stop to fix it. Just then I see a semi hit a motorcycle, and it flies out of the parking space and hurdles towards me. I fall to the ground just in time so that the motorcycle goes right over my head. \n\nShe laughs. I shouldn't be surprised. She laughs every time. Dahlia Death - well known just as Death- bends over and cackles and the debris from the bike flies right through her. She does not look anything like the average person may think. Most days she wears a corset covered by a black body con dress. She wears black Loubiton heels, which match her long, black, stiletto nails. Her hair is pitch black as well and goes all the way down to her hips. The one thing that does not match the rest of her appearance are her eyes. They are peicingly blue. \n\n\"Hahahah! Fourth time this week!\" Dahlia cackles.\n\nI have this kind of tendency to have near death experiences. Dahlia decided about a month ago that she enjoys watching them, and she comes with me every day. She tells me all the time that I should feel happy. That I am stopping other deaths. She tells me that I won't die until she chooses, but that for now, it is a form of entertainment for her. \n\nThe first time I had a near death experience was when I was ten years old or so. Me and my parents thought it was a one time thing, but as I got older, it just happened more often. Dahlia must not have known about me for quite a while because I am 21 now. \n\nI run across the remainder of the street as the red hand comes up. Dahlia saunters across the road as cars go right through her. \n\n\"Well, it is isn't anything new. Why are you so worried?\" she asks. \n\n\"I absolutely hate you. I know that you are making this happen. This is the closest it has ever been. Are you trying to kill me?\" I question her.\n\n\"Yes actually. I have decided it is your time. Do you have a problem with that? Because you know damn well that you can't change it,\" she laughs.\n\nI stop and I feel the blood rush to my head. I grab her arm and drag her into the nearest coffee shop. I pull her into the bathroom.\n\n\"What do you mean, it is my time. You cannot just make me die. Isn't that murder?\" I interrogate her.\n\nShe shrugs, \"Look, the common misconception is that I cause death. That just is not true. Death is a natural thing, it happens without me. I stop death until I think that it is time, and then I let it happen. I am not as horrible as everyone thinks that I am,\".\n\nI turn to the toilet and throw up. Dahlia holds my hair back, but I do not thank her.\n\n\"What do you mean you let it happen?\" I ask shocked,\" How can you just let people die? Why do you let them die?\"\n\n\"Well, like I said, everyone dies sometime. But without me it would happen quite a bit sooner. The fact that the average life span is getting longer is due to us. The people in my line of work have gotten much better at their job, and have found better, more solid ways to stop people from dying,\" Dahlia explains to me.\n\n\"What to you mean, us? Is this a whole company that is just plotting our deaths?\" I ask, feeling like I am going to faint.\n\nShe laughs, \"No, we are not just plotting your deaths, though it may seem that way. We have a building full of people who make your death day, the way you are going to die, and where. I have very little say in all of that, except for when I am able to negotiate with one of them. They are very low on the scale, all they do is sit on computers and choose when people die. I am not one of those. I am out in the streets. I do the real job. I have to stop you all from dying until the date that has been chosen for you. Your date happens to be about 7 years from now. But if I am being honest with you, I looked over your file and it is a long slow death. It is painful, too. So I negotiated and decided to spare you that pain,\" she explains to me, trying to make me agree. \n\nI shake my head to show her that is a horrible idea. I tell her that I want to be living my life the way I want, and that she should let my life play out the way it would have. \n\nShe laughs once more, even though I do not see what is so funny, \"Honey, if I had let you die when you were meant to die, you would have died in that plane crash at 10 years old. I have doubled your life, and you should be grateful. I am sparing you from so much grief, pain, and sadness in the future. You should be happy\".\n\nI almost faint again, but something in me won't let it happen. This is crazy, it can't be happening, I tell myself. Just then I realize that I had been making my wait home, and I had just been stopped. \n\n\"Give your bag, and your shoes, and anything valuable,\" a man in a ski mask and black clothes demands of me.\n\nI do not say anything.\n\nHe starts to speak again, but I can only hear Dahlia Death, \"Do not answer him. He is going to shoot you, but it won't hurt. You will die as soon as it happens. And don't be scared, I will be right here on the other side\". \n\nShe fades away, and the gun goes off. I feel nothing but blackness. As it turns light again, I see Dahlia in her black dress and heels. She had her hands cupped around her mouth, so that I could see the shape of her nails. Around her are many others, and they look like a welcoming committee. \n\nShe comes to me and says, \"Hmm, I did not think you would come this way. Well Daniella Death, welcome to the team,\". ", "Everyone talks about near-death experiences. Sometimes you see a light, or see the family members who have gone before you and are waiting to greet you, or maybe you see yourself dying. And sometimes you get nothing but blackness. For me, I ended up in a coffee shop. \n\nThe shop was completely empty, and quite small. No baristas stood at the counter, but there were fresh looking pastries in a display case. Soft jazz drifted out of some hidden speakers. I never liked jazz. Following standard protocol, I went up the counter and hit the service bell.\n\nThe soft ‘ding’ echoed a little and drowned out the jazz momentarily. Nothing happened. I turned around and scanned the shop again, and when I turned back there was suddenly a man behind the counter. I jumped back in surprise, despite knowing he’d suddenly appear. He liked pulling this stunt.\n\n“Hello Anne.” The man said.\n\nI glanced down at his shirt out of habit, but he didn’t have a name tag. He never did. The man was tall, with stylish black hair. He wore a pretty standard uniform, complete with a white button shirt and a black apron. To most, I’d say he’d be considered attractive. Except for his eyes. His eyes were definitely the wrong color. Most people didn’t have red eyes.\n\n“…Hi.” I said.\n\n“What was it this time?” he asked.\n\nI sighed and closed my eyes. “Train.”\n\n“You actually TRIED to die this time?” He sounded slightly surprised.\n\n“No no,” I replied hastily, “I was driving across the train tracks and my car broke down. Cue the train signal. Of course my doors won’t open, and then bam. Train.”\n\n“You may not come back from this one,” the man said with a slight smile. \n\n“Pretty sure if I wasn’t, we’d be having a different conversation.” \n\nThe barista guy shrugged his shoulders, the smile still tugging at his lips. He always seemed to be smiling when discussing my imminent, or not-so-imminent, demise. \n\nThis wasn’t my first visit. The first time was a couple months ago when I tripped and fell down the stairs outside my apartment. I figured it was a dream and didn’t really think twice about it after I woke up in the hospital. But then I came back a second time, when a car ran through a red light as I was crossing. I think the train incident made this the sixth time I’d visited. It was always the same routine: empty coffee shop, ring the bell, talk to the barista to kill time, and eventually wake back up in the world of the living.\n\n“You know, you’re not what I imagined Death would look like. And…the coffee shop is also a little odd.” I said. It was a thought that had been in the back of my mind after the first visit, but it never really felt like a good time to bring it up. But when you’re dead, or almost dead, is there really a BAD time?\n\nDeath shrugged. “I like coffee, and I like jazz. Seemed like a good way to set up my office.”\n\nI glanced around the shop again, noting the artistic black and white photographs that were hung on the walls. They changed every time I visited, usually depicting some scene or another from my life. Usually it was a good moment, like when I’d graduated from college or gotten my first cat.\n\n“As for the image,” Death continued, “I find this to be less threatening. You people in the west always expect some Grim Reaper guy with a long black cloak and a giant sickle.”\n\n“It’s the media,” I shrugged, “blame them. Although...actually you’re getting a pretty good reputation now of being a normal-looking guy for some reason. So I guess it fits now.” I wasn’t always up on the current TV shows, but it seemed like recently I’d been seeing a lot of images where the Grim Reaper image had been replaced by a regular, although usually ridiculously attractive, person. No sickle in sight. \n\nDeath smiled. “Good to know, I never liked that dull image. The Valkyries have it so much better than I do…”\n\n“What now?” That surprised me. Death had never talked about any other beings that dealt with the aspect of dying. “I thought you were the only like, Death person…thing.”\n\n“No! That would be ridiculous!” Death said, waving his hand at me in a shooing motion, “There are so many of you humans that it would be far too much for one Guide to handle. There are many of us. I guide the humans in the area I’m stationed, that’s how we all do it.” He said, turning around to make himself a drink. “Though recently I’ve had to call in some favors as I’ve fallen a little behind.” He added sheepishly.\n\n “Behind?” I asked. How does Death fall behind?\n\n“Yes, you see there’s been a certain human who keeps almost dying but never quite completes the task.” He threw a wink at me over his shoulder. “Such humans are almost unheard of, and any humans that do possess the ability to defy death are usually ones destined for greatness. Heroes of some sort.” He leaned against the counter to face me and took a sip of the hot coffee, steam rising from it and clouding his red eyes as he watched me closely.\n\nI snorted. “Really? You think I’m going to be some hero? What am I going to do, slay a dragon?”\n“Maybe,” Death said, putting down the coffee, “but the dragons tend to stay away from your kind and live primarily in Sweden, so I imagine it won’t be anything like that.” \n\nHe wasn’t joking, he was serious. Death thought I was destined to be some hero of the modern age. But I could barely make rent payments on my studio apartment, let alone do something worthy of hero status.\n\n“There is no way I’m a hero.” I said flatly.\n\nDeath’s little smile returned, and his red eyes flashed momentarily. “That’s not for you to decide my dear, but not to worry. I’ll be with you every step of the way to…observe and advise.”\n\n“I’m…I’m literally going to be stalked by Death?” I asked.\n\nDeath nodded. “Until your heroic destiny is completed and I can finally take your soul of course. Though I’ll need someone to help pick up the slack of me monitoring a new hero…Maybe Brynhildr or Hildr will do it, I know those two ladies have wanted to become more accustomed to American culture. And Hildr does owe me a favor for the one time in Germany…” \n\nDeath kept talking to himself, trying to figure out the logistics of him taking a long leave of absence. Suddenly, I noticed a soft beeping noise, just on the edge of my hearing. As it started to get louder, the coffee shop began to fade out and the jazz music disappeared.\n\nI woke up in a stark white room. Hospital, of course. My body hurt, but I still had feeling in all my extremities. The beeping was the sound of the monitor next to my hospital bed, proudly proclaiming me to still be alive. I kept staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what Death had meant by my being a ‘hero’. Didn’t heroes normally save damsels or slay monsters? I mean, that’s always what they did in the books. But nowadays there weren’t really any damsels or monsters. Unless you counted big businesses. I chuckled at that, and it hurt.\n\n“Something amusing?” said a voice from off to my right.\n\nSlowly, dreading what I would see, I turned my head to the right. Seated in a chair, reading a month-old fashion magazine, was Death. His barista uniform was gone and replaced with a stylish business suit. \n\n“Go on, tell me. I love a good joke.” He smiled at me. I didn’t smile back. \n\n“What’s with the face?” he asked. “I told you I’d be keeping an eye on you. And lucky for us Hildr was more than eager to take on the extra work load for me once I reminded her of the little swap we did during the last war.” His eyes, until now an ice blue, flashed red. \n\nI groaned, the weight of it all crashing onto my already-aching body and mind. As if my life wasn’t difficult enough already. \n\n", "\"Oh, so the plane that was supposed to take him to the hospital fell to the ground as well, hmm that's interesting\" Death throws a popcorn and chews it \" I don't know how he'll survive that, aha, that ambulance is quite fast, and they pick him up then administer first aid so that's how he lives, damn an accident\" still staring at the soul vision\n\n\"Can you just watch it silently?\" Life asks\n\n\"No, I can not, I love to comment when I watch a man this interesting and isn't it your job to watch living people?\"\n\n\"So now you remember I have a job, well I am supposed to watch them live, but a certain somebody is watching soul vision right now\" the hidden aggression turns into full-fledged fury with screams \n\n\"It's the first time in forever I want to watch soul vision, and now somebody is getting mad, I let you watch it for centuries, and you have other ways to do your job, you know compared to me you have the ability to visit the world whenever you want to, so stop complaining to me when you have it that nicely\" Death gets mad too \n\n\"Boo hoo, you should have picked your job better, it's no use to project your troubles into me, I didn't make the choice for you, so grow up and move\" Life doesn't back down'\n\n\"Just listen to yourself a little bit, missis now it all, you criticize my every choice only to continue to be lazy at your job, who's the mature one now\" Death adds with poison\n\n\" Playing psychologist I see, well you can have it, I don't have time for such trivial quarrels, after all, I have a really important job, I ain't the garbage man of the universe\" Life is backing away\n\n\"That was low\" Death adds and his eyes go back to the SV \"oh, now the hospital he's in is the epicenter of an earthquake, this guy has no luck\" \n\nFrom a corner Life watches the TV too, she was making all this fuss, because she was actually very curious about this guy, he was a master of survival, he was living the kind of life that Life didn't see before. She listens carefully to the comments of Death and is surprised by every new turn of events. Death picks a new flake of popcorn but it flies behind the bed, he turns to pick it up and notices Life which turns red and hides behind the corner\n\n\"I guess someone wants to watch the SV as well, too bad they are not willing to hang out with me,\" he says extra loudly \"I mean I am not against company if you take your words back and accept to sit with me like philosophical concept to philosophical concept, how about that?\" his voice is reconciliatory \n\nShe puffs air out, and she is mad but she wants to watch the life of that man more than anything.\n\n\"I agree, sorry I was too mean to you, and I accept you as my equal\" the last words she said were truly a herculean task\n\n\"All right jump in there's a lot of space on the couch\"\n\nThey watch his life, both surprised at times, then Life scarred at times but Death pats her on the shoulder, she laughs from surprise and he likes her laugh a lot, it's warmer than anything he ever sees at his job/ they continue to watch, but they look less at the screen and more at each other. They kiss and do the naughty things, two people, that loke each other do periodically as a sign of affection. \n\n\"Holly shit, we hooked up, umm, that was unexpected\" Life looks at Death's naked chest next to her\n\n\"Yeah, it kind of happened\" Death stutters \"but it wasn't a bad thing right? \" he looks at her pleadingly \n\n\"Of course, it wasn't, gosh, don't even think about that, well, look the guy is, holy shit\" her eyes are wide open\n\nOn the screen, the guy has ascended into a higher spiritual level \n\n\"Oops, now he is going to turn into a God\" Death adds with a stressed out smile\n\n\"And we are going to have to write an explanation and send it to higher-ups, we are going to be in some deep shit, \"she says\n\n\"As long as you are beside me I can manage\" Death adds\n\n\"That's some serious co-dependency, but it was cute so I'll let it slide, now let's put some clothes on, drink coffee, and get ready to write\" \n\n ", "one of my very first posts on wp!! eeeeee thank you for the prompt! \n this strays a little. i would love any feedback :) \n\tWhen I was 2, I had a fever of 105 for a day and a half. The doctor said, quite plainly, I should have died. That my brain should have boiled. I threw up all over my bed the next morning, the fever broke, and I got out of bed. There, in the doorway was the giant, gentle, grey creature, who had been waiting patiently there for the last few days. I took its hand and it helped me go to find my mom. I was sweaty and crying and definitely alive. \n\tWhen I was 6, I swallowed a grape whole. It got lodged in my throat, and I couldn’t even cough, my mouth gaping like a fish. I couldn’t call for anyone to come help me. I stumbled from my seat, gripping the edge of the table, trying to tip my head back. The grape unstuck itself and I felt the wholeness of it sliding like a too-big rock down my throat. It seemed like I could still feel it, when it landed in my belly, complete and huge and heavy. The giant, gentle, grey creature, there again that day, gave me a solid thump on the back. I was shaken and scared and definitely alive. \n\tWhen I was 17, I was bicycling in heavy traffic, when I steered too close to the side of the road, hit the curb and flipped over my handlebars, cracking down hard onto the pavement. I saw car tires hurtle past my face, just inches from my nose. The terrible screeching of brakes as the driver, horrified, hardly having stopped her car before flinging herself from the seat, rushing to my side. Again, as it had time and time again, the giant, gentle, grey creature helped me to my feet; steady for me when my legs were not. I was trembling, gasping and definitely alive. \n\tAgain and again it’s happened. The moments that make me so enormously aware of the pounding in my chest. The fragility of my bones. The delicacy of my inhale and exhale. \n\tIt never stops being scary. The slip at the edge of a cliff. The tree that came crashing down beside me that scraped the skin off my arms and face. The vomiting for days induced by botulism. \n\tBut that giant, gentle, grey creature is there. In each of those moments. And for some reason, it is comforting to see it. Because, somehow, in the back of my mind, I know. The giant, gentle, grey creature is there to help me. Help me shake myself off when I’m not ready to go yet. Get back on my feet. Help my breathing get back to normal. \nI know who it is. I’m not going to pretend otherwise. It’s appeared to me too many times for there to be any misclarity about it. It’s there to help me. I’ve probably seen it more times than most other people. But it’s there to help. And I know it’ll be there to help me when I am ready to go. And there’s something nice and gentle and grey about that. \nFor now, my hand is on my chest. And I feel the steady drumbeat therein. And the pulse that says not yet, not yet. The top of the inhale and the bottom of the exhale that says, not yet, not yet. And I am here and strong and definitely alive.", "I am sorry. This is a very interesting prompt, But all I can think is: He turned his head, wincing at the stab of pain, and saw a small but brightly lit folding chair on the sand. A robed figure was reclining in it, reading a book. A scythe was stuck in the sand beside it. A white skeletal hand turned a page.\n ‘You’ll be Death, then?’ said Vimes, after a while.\nAH, MISTER VIMES, ASTUTE AS EVER. GOT IT IN ONE, said Death, shutting the book on his finger to keep the place. ‘I’ve seen you before.’ I HAVE WALKED WITH YOU MANY TIMES, MISTER VIMES. ‘And this is it, is it?’ HAS IT NEVER STRUCK YOU THAT THE CONCEPT OF A WRITTEN NARRATIVE IS SOMEWHAT STRANGE? said Death. Vimes could tell when people were trying to avoid something they really didn’t want to say, and it was happening here. ‘Is it?’ he insisted. ‘Is this it? This time I die?’ COULD BE. ‘Could be? What sort of answer is that?’ said Vimes. A VERY ACCURATE ONE. YOU SEE, YOU ARE HAVING A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE, WHICH INESCAPABLY MEANS THAT I MUST UNDERGO A NEAR V IMES EXPERIENCE. DON’T MIND ME. CARRY ON WITH WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING. I HAVE A BOOK. (Thud! By Terry Pratchett)\n", "I usually didn't remember a face. After all, I never saw the same one twice. Kind of the whole point of the job, really. What kind of death would I be, if I had a repeat customer?\n\nThat's \"death\" with a little d, by the way - and hold the jokes, I've heard them all before. I'm basically just a little peon in the whole grand scheme of the end-of-life, the existential equivalent of a cubicle drone but with a slightly better travel package. Go to place, wait for the gruesome business to conclude, then collect whatever soul is lingering around.\n\nIt's not a job for the squeamish, or really for anyone with much in the way of hope. Starts to wear on you after a while, seeing all the different ways that people go. After the first few car crashes, or short-range gun suicides, even the blood and dismemberment loses its shock appeal. It just all feels... gray.\n\nSo when I showed up on that street corner, caught a glimpse of wild orange hair bobbing up and down among the masses of pedestrians, you'll forgive me if I didn't immediately remember just why the sight triggered a little twitch of unexpected familiarity. Still, my eyes tracked her, even as my brain tried to remember why that mass of red-orange curls was triggering unexpected neural pathways.\n\nI heard the catalyst approaching before I saw it. The screech of tires, the hiss of brakes locking up and refusing to exert their proper influence on the multi-ton monster that rode them. I turned and watched as the driver's face twisted in horror, his body shaking from the effort of pushing his foot down on a brake that simply didn't have the strength to stop the pickup as it careened towards the intersection at twenty over the speed limit.\n\nPeople heard the screeching brakes, too - people who weren't a death, that is. They shouted, dodged aside, or simply stood frozen in horror, their brains locking up as fight grappled with flight. I just leaned back against a light pole, sighed as I waited for it all to be over. \n\nRed hair was right in the middle of the intersection, of course. That must be why I'd noticed her - she was the target, the soul that I'd been sent here to collect. Still, something else about her tickled my subconscious, a buzzing fly that kept on swarming no matter how many times I brushed it irritably aside.\n\nThe truck bore down on her - and then, at the last second, her legs finally kicked spastically, sent her just barely out of the path of the truck. It shot past her, within inches of her pale limbs, smashing into the frozen businessman who'd been standing just beside her. It rolled a bit further, bones crunching amid the shrieking brakes, before finally skidding to a stop another ten feet down the road.\n\nShe looked up, bright blue eyes flashing amid that mass of ginger curls - and my memory finally clicked into place.\n\nSix months ago, the bus crash. That had happened near here, hadn't it? Half a dozen miles away, same geographic area. Three dead, a bunch of others were injured - as a death, I didn't pay much attention to the non-life-threatening injuries - and lots of chaos everywhere. I'd had to hunt around to find all the souls, as some of them ended up buried down in the wreckage.\n\nI'd seen her then, trapped beneath a bent support girder, but not otherwise injured. I'd brushed past her, barely sparing a glance for those bright curls - she was fine, after all. Scared but not in need of my services.\n\nAnd now, here she was again. Another brush with death (small d).\n\nI moved forward, over towards the truck. The poor businessman who hadn't dodged aside in time was a goner - it took just a glance to confirm that. One of the easy ones. No long, drawn-out waiting, no need to converse with a confused soul that refused to admit it was dead. Reach in, grab soul, stow away in pouch and head back for the next assignment.\n\nBut as I straightened up from the chest, soul in hand, something made me glance over at the girl.\n\nYoung woman, perhaps? I guessed she was in her early twenties, maybe a student from her casual clothes. Pale face, blue eyes, a slightly upturned snub of a nose, and that burning hair framing her face in a corona.\n\nI nearly started towards her - but what would I do? She couldn't see me; as a death, I received immunity from everything, at the cost of losing the ability to interact with anyone. She'd just see empty air where I stood, had no idea what I did behind the scenes to keep things rolling.\n\nBut then she turned towards me - and her eyes locked on mine.\n\nA bolt of lightning shot up my spine, burying itself in my brain and scrambling all thought. I grabbed for the talisman in my pocket, yanked myself away through the ether, out of this plane of existence.\n\nShe hadn't seen me. She couldn't have seen me.\n\nIt was impossible.\n\nI handed in the soul, absent-mindedly took my next assignment (tribesman in Zambia, dying of plague). I put the girl out of my head. It had just been coincidence.\n\nThat made it all the more shocking when, the next week, she tapped me on the shoulder. Good thing that I'm immune to heart attacks.", "\"Oh my, you do seem to find the most creative ways, don't you?\" Death said, his ribs chattering like a wind chime as he chuckled under his tophat. He certainly wasn't the all mighty, intimidating, spirit of the end that I'd always assumed he'd be. He was actually a pretty nice guy actually. He was well mannered, well dressed, and had a great sense of humor. However, I myself wasn't exactly in a joking mood. Laying flat on my back in a dark alleyway off of Isner street, a small tuft of smoke rising from my shirt pocket. \n\nMy father's watch had just barely saved me from the mugger. He had wanted my wallet, and when I didn't give it to him right away, his fired his 9mm directly into my chest. I pulled the watch out of my shirtpocket, the gold casing gnarled and dented in. The searing hot slug sat in the watch, a mortal reminder of how close I had come to the skeletal companion of mine.\n\n\"Why is it that you're still around me? I don't mean to be rude, but my luck seems to have gone completely downhill since you started following me around.\" I said, raising my eyes to meet Death's empty eye sockets. \"My dear boy, i've taken an interest in you. You've been tangoing with me far too much recently.\"\n\nThinking back, he wasn't wrong. My life had been crazy these past few months, without me even wanting it. There was my parachute not opening during my sky diving trip in February, which I had survived thanks to a VERY large silo of hay, there was the shark dive that I had gone on where the instructor had left the cage unlocked, forcing me to use my Krav Maga lessons for the first time in my life. On a shark. Then there was today, where I had quite literally, been shot. \n\n\"Yeah but that all happened after you got here.\" Death had been twirling his walking cane in his hand, flattening out the front of his tailcoat with the other. \"I'm not quite positive my boy, i've just been along for the ride and the laughs. And there have been plenty.\" The skeletal figure let out another laugh, his jaw chattering like a halloween decoration as he did. I was getting angrier with each laugh that left him.\n\nGetting up, I angrily pointed a finger at the reaper, poking my finger into his chest, quite literally, getting up and in his face. \"Well maybe the reason I keep coming close to death is because i'm literally near him constantly. Ever think of that?\" I asked, my voice choking a bit thinking of my father's watch. Death's laughing stopped almost as quickly as it had began.\n\nHis skull didn't give off any emotions, but I could tell he was wrestling with thoughts in his mind, keeping his attention for the moment. \"Old sport, I must say I may owe you an apology. I had been so lost in my own amusement, that I had in fact endangered you even further.\" He took a more rigid, straightforward stance, clapping his hands together.\n\n\"Right then! It seems i've overstayed my welcome! I'll be bidding you farewell then, and again, i'm deeply sorry for all the trouble.\" Knocking his cane on the ground a few times, a door faded into reality directly behind him. He twisted the pearly white knob, the dark wood difficult to make out in the darkness of the alley. He raised his hat in a polite gesture, before the door closed behind him, fading into nothingness.\n\nGoing home, I took a shower and ate some Ben and Jerry's, letting the sweet creamy dessert try to soothe the days events. He glanced over at the watch on his night stand, and thought of his father. A man who had battled cancer not once, but twice and survived, but who had done it all with a smile. I couldn't help but think this was Death's payback. First he took my father, and now he took my only memory of him. I blinked back tears as I faded off to sleep, just glad the entire ordeal was over.\n\nI woke up in the morning and got ready for work, making coffee and a bowl of life cereal with some sugar sprinkled over it. Downing the bowl quickly, I straightened my tied and laced up my shoes. Feeling my pants, I felt that my keys and wallet were both where they should be, the only thing missing was... my father's watch. I nodded to myself. I didn't care if it was broken, I was still going to carry it with me.\n\nEntering my room, I motioned to pick it up off the nightstand, but instead was met with a small box, wrapped in silver wrapping paper, a nice, neat bow sitting atop it. Unwrapping the bow, I took the accompanying card off of the top, peel back the seal that was the image of a skull with a top hat. \n\n\"After mulling over these past month's, I came to the conclusion that I was indeed, in the wrong. As Death, it is my responsibility to guide and judge the dead, not create more of them. To try and make ammends, included is something I think you may enjoy. Cheers, and may we meet again when you reach a ripe old age. And Jake, we will meet again.\"\n\nPlacing the card on the bed, I lifted the top of the box, my breath stopping upon seeing my father's watch. It looked like it had in my memories of ten or so years ago. It shined like the sun at dawn, and I could see my reflection in it. Cracking open the watch, I listened to the crisp tick... tick... tick* of the second hand as it made its rounds around the clock, before I noticed something new. On the inside of the watches cover, there was an inscription.\n\n\"Jake, eventually everyone meets their end, doesn't mean we need to hate death, just means we need to accept it as part of our lives. -Dad\"\n\nI felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I proudly stuffed the watch into my shirt pocket. Turns out death really wasn't such a bad guy after all.", "When I was born, I didn't let out a first scream. Or even a breath at all. The doctors thought I was dead. After trying to unsuccessfully revive me they were about to give up when all of a sudden I let out a thin wail.\n\nWhen I was two years old, my parents lost me at Disneyland. They found me after I had wandered into one of the rides and was playing with an animatronic about 30 feet in the air.\n\nWhen I was five, I stuck a screwdriver into an electrical socket. It blew me backwards, but I was fine enough to start giggling.\n\nAt 8 years old, I was more cautious. However, this did not stop me from being struck by lightening.\n\nSince then I have had 25 more incidences of going to the hospital, getting random illnesses, and nearly dying in general. My family couldn't decide if I was the luckiest or unluckiest person in the world.\n\nDue to my natural clumsiness and overall attraction for all things disastrous, Death had introduced himself to me after a particularly close drowning incident a couple of months ago. He found me entertaining and said they had all placed bets in the Underworld over how long I would live. I wasn't exactly flattered.\n\nToday was different though. Today was going to be perfect, with no incidences. I was going to be cautious and careful. Smooth and alert. Nothing was going to go wrong.\n\nI tripped on the curb outside of my apartment and barely grasped the car next to me as a bus zoomed by.\n\n\"One inch more and you would have been a goner.\" I stood up and picked some gravel out of my knees.\n\n\"Yet here I stand.\" I grumbled before grabbing the strap on my purse and turning my back on Death. He floated on behind me as I took measured, slow steps.\n\n\"That's going to be a bummer to the guys down below. Steven thought for sure that you were going to bite the bullet this morning. I told him that you've made it this long and you've definitely got a few good years on you. I'm guessing until maybe 26 or 27?\"\n\n\"Gee, thanks.\" I muttered absentmindedly, not really caring who Steven was or that he was disappointed in my current state of living. \n\n\"You have surprised me before. I thought moving away and going to school would be enough to do you in. You lived in the same town your whole life, what would the challenges of the rest of the world do to you? Plus, I mean, college debt alone is enough to make you want to--\" He drew a bony finger over where a throat would be on a normal person and I turned to face him.\n\n\"Can we not do this today!? I have other things to focus on without debating my untimely demise with you!\" I stalked past Death and he stood floating still for a moment before he swooped next to me.\n\n\"Okay, okay. Maybe you'll live until 30.\" I stopped in my tracks and turned to start lecturing Death when a loud crash sounded next to me. I turned to see a large television set from the 90s and looked up just as a set of weights came barreling at me. I dodged to the side as they crashed into the pavement.\n\n\"Maybe that will teach you for cheating on me!\"\n\n\"Sharon! Please! It's not what it looks like!\"\n\n\"You bastard!\" I watched as a bundle of clothes was chunked out a window a few stories above me. As it floated down, I made eye contact with Death.\n\n\"Nevermind. I give you a month.\"\n\nGroaning, I dusted myself off and carefully maneuvered away from the window and continued walking. \n\n\"Where are we going today, anyways?\"\n\n\"I\" I stressed, \"am going to the bank. I have to drop off my paycheck.\" Death sighed and floated around me a few times.\n\n\"Can we do something else? That's boring. Let's get snacks instead.\"\n\n\"Can you even eat?\"\n\nHe shrugged. \"Not really, but I like to smell the different food and pretend.\"\n\n\"We're not getting snacks.\"\n\n\"But I'm so bored. Please? Please? We'll go to the bank later.\"\n\n\"Fine! Just be quiet.\" I said, feeling a headache forming. A few blocks later I stopped in front of the local convenience store and popped in.\n\n\"Can you grab me a snickers?\"\n\n\"Again: you don't eat.\" I whispered back to Death, clearing my throat as an old lady gave me a funny look. She turned around and I eyed Death.\n\"You're making me look like a crazy person. Go away.\"\n\n\"Not until you buy me a snickers.\" I let out a breath of air and grabbed a snickers as well as some other snacks, before moving to buy everything and leave.\n\nAs I started walking back, I pulled out the snickers and began to eat it, enjoying Death's stream of insults as I chewed.\n\n\"Can't you just tell me when I will die?\" I asked amicably after I had finished. Death huffed and crossed his arms.\n\n\"Would you want to know?\"\n\nI nodded. \"Definitely. I've lived my life thinking that everyday is my last one. If I knew the final date I could finally live without being so cautious all of the time.\"\n\nDeath paused for such a long time that I thought he wasn't going to tell me. Finally, after I'd forgotten I was waiting on an answer, he spoke.\n\n\"I would tell you if I could. But you're one of the few humans that I don't know when they'll die. That's why it's so interesting to watch you.\"\n\n\"What do you mean? Why don't you know?\" Death raised his shoulder in a shrug.\n\n\"Not sure. It could be because you're so unlucky that your fate keeps changing. It could be that one day it will solidify and it's just late. It could be that you're weird.\" I narrowed my eyes at him and he continued, \"I think it's because you weren't supposed to live this long. You should have died as an infant and now you're just surviving on borrowed days.\"\n\nI thought about that solemnly for a moment. Borrowed days, huh? They haven't exactly been good ones, that's for sure.\n\n(cont. in comments)", "First it was an almost fatal car crash, the second some building debris almost crushed me to death, the third time I was almost shot by a mugger, and the fourth and fifth it became a casual occurrence. I became desensitized to my string of “almosts” until Death decided to visit me in person.\n\n\nIt was after I had almost choked on jell, that he appeared. I remember his laugh ringing in my ears, while a man sat across from me, in a previously empty seat.\n\n\nHe looked like a man, just a regular man and his first words to me were, “Seems like you could be entertaining.”\n\n\nAfter he said those words my first thought was, “I'm f*cked.”\n\n\nAt first I thought he was a stalker but he only appeared during, or after one of my “almosts”. He would always laugh and disappear shortly after. \n\n\nThat was his MO until he appeared in my room at random.\n\n\n“You know it's creepy to stand alone in a girl's room?” I said a little too calmly.\n\n“I don't follow mortal ethics.” he said while twirling a pencil. “Do you know of a six letter word that means to eat?”\n\n\nHe had found my crossword books. \n\n\nAt this point I am a little pissed. “Look dude, I don't know who you are but clearly you're confused. You are in my room and I want you out.”\n\n\nI move to approach him reaching to shove him out of my desk chair. Only problem was that my hand phased right through him. I tried again with the same result.\n\n\nHe keeps staring at the crossword. “Jade, death can't touch you so it is impossible for you to touch me.”\n\n“What is that supposed to mean!”\n\nHe spins around in the desk chair and faces me. “It means that you have somebody preventing me from doing my job. I can't reap your soul if I can't touch it.”\n\n\n“So what? Are you saying you're the Grim Reaper?” I say in a crass tone.\n\n\n“That is precisely what I am saying.”\n\n\nI almost face plant into the floor just from the bizarreness of this situation. “You've got to be kidding me.”\n\n\n“I'm not kidding,” he says back “I only appear when you're about to die, Jade. Not only that but I know your name as well as all your other information.”\n\n\nOh yeah he did know my name. Wait a second… “Am I about to die?”\n\n\n“No, but I can't be too sure. Somebody or something has tampered with your soul enough that you are immune to my advances.” he pauses “So until I find out who is blatantly messing with my work I will continue to being entertained by you.”\n\n\nI sigh realizing fairly quickly that I can't do anything. “Can't I get rid of you.”\n\n“When you die.”\n\n“Well that isn't happening.”\n\n“I know.”\n\n\nThere is another bout of silence.\n\n“Devour!”\n\n“What?”\n\n“The word I was asking about earlier.”", "“This isn’t going to work.”\n\n“Shut up will you.” I say as I make my way up the ladder.\n\n“Seriously. I’m telling you.” Death said floating up on my right.\n\n“Bugger off.” I wave my arm out trying to shoo him away, but he floats back a bit avoiding my grasp.\nI climb higher and higher until I reach the end of the first ladder. A second one is placed on the first one, leaning up against the house. I pull out a couple of zipties.\n\n“Oh, now you’re just flirting with me.” Death said as I started to zip the two ladders together, “You’re making me all jittery.”\n\n“I know what I’m doing.” I say as I carefully step onto the second ladder. It wobbles, but I manage to balance it out. \n\n“That’s what you always say.” He says.\n\n“I’m still alive, aren’t I?”\n\n“Lady Luck has a thing for you.” He taunts me.\n\n“No I don’t!” Luck flew up on my left side. Goddamn it! Can’t these two twats just leave me alone!\n\n“I don’t have a thing for him!” Luck says in a way too defensive way.\n\n“Luck and Peter sitting in a tree… “ Death starts to sing. I swing out at him. He dodges and I start to loose my balance. Luck grabs my shirt and pulls me back onto the ladder.\n\n“There,” Death says pointing at us, “There, see what I mean.”\n\n“It’s not like that!” Luck says, “It’s just…”\n\n“What?” Death smiles and cups a hand around his ear, “I’m listening.”\nLuck mutters something unintelligible.\n\n“What? I can’t hear you.” Death smiles.\n\nI keep on climing. The two keep on floating up next to me.\n\n“ijustlikehim.” Luck mutters soft and fast. We all heard it. We all knew what she said. We all knew she would say it, but Death still wasn’t pleased.\n\n“I can’t hear you!” He says like the annoying Captain from a certain TV show.\n\n“I LIKE HIM!” Luck shouted out. It was quiet for a moment. Death’s smile widens.\n\n“Oh, Felicity.” He taunts, “Can it be? You finally found true love?”\n\n“Sod off, Mortimer!”, Luck said.\n\nI kept on climbing while the others bickered around me. The cat wasn’t going to save itself. Not that it seemed to want to, or deserve to for that matter. Just sitting there licking it’s paws, waiting for me like the entitled little brat it was.\n\n“What do you think.” Death eventually asked me.\n\n“I don’t care.” I said.\n\n“You see that, Felicity. He doesn’t even care.”\n\nThat’s not what I meant.\nI look over to Luck. Her lips are quivering. She looks sad.\n\n“Oh come on, you know I don’t mean it like that.” I said. Luck’s face was tearing up.\n\n“After all I did for you?” She asks with a quivering voice.\n\n“No, I’m very grateful for all that.” I truly was, it’s just that I wasn’t into her in a romantic way. I just recently lost my girlfriend and wasn’t in the mood.\n\n“Oh, this is just too good.” Death said enjoying every minute of it.\n\n“Then why don’t you like me back?” Luck asks hurt.\n\n“I never asked for this!” I said, “I never asked for your help! And I sure as hell never asked for this idiot to float around me either!”\n\n“Says the one climbing two zip tied ladders” Death said.\n\nI was about to lose it.\n\nThe cat ran down the roof and onto the tree standing next to the house. There it sat and started to meow loudly not being able to come down.\nI looked at the cat. Luck looked at the cat. Death looked at the cat.\n\n“Come on. Kiss Felicity. Maybe the cat will come running back.” Death said laughing.\n\nThat’s it. I lost it!\n\n &nbsp;\n\n“Look, Martha. The neighbours boy is arguing with himself again.”\n\nJohn was sitting in his favourite chair facing the window. He was looking through his binoculars at the boy across the street who was waving around in the air yelling profanities around.\n\n“Is he trying to jump into the pool from his window again?”\n\n“No, he’s on top of a makeshift ladder this time.”\n\nMartha walks in carrying two cups of tea. She hands John one of them and takes a seat herself.\n\n“You think he’s finally going to bite it?” She said bringing forth a pair of her own binoculars.\n\n“The boy’s seems to have a good relationship with luck. Not like his girlfriend. God rest her soul.” \n" ]	[ 1, 2, 2, 3, 3, 6, 9, 20, 58, 70, 355 ]	[ "1507029580", "1507059721", "1507071497", "1507058140", "1507072334", "1507049966", "1507058339", "1507048616", "1507047613", "1507043605", "1507043257" ]
	[WP] You have a magic bag that gives you whatever you need for the day. Today, it's given you a bag of glitter, two feet of yarn, a black and white photograph of Danny DeVito, a model trebuchet, and a moldy block of tofu	7,071	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "The young explorer looked down at her options and sighed. Another set of useless objects. Like really, what was the backpack thinking? She was supposed to cross a treacherous ravine and through a snake riddled forest before facing the notorious thief, a real sly fox. And this is what she gets? Glitter, yarn, a picture of some old guy with a goblin face, a catapult, and piece of tofu crawling with maggots? She sighed again. Maybe she'd take a break today. ", "Fuck. Another one of these. Every goddamn day this fucking bag tries to determine my fate. Five times this month it has been the same goddamn thing: a bag of glitter, two feet of yarn, a black and white photo of Danny DeVito, a model trebuchet, and some grody-ass tofu.\n\nThe first time it was a little entertaining. The next time it was sad. Every time after that I've felt guilty. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK HOW FAT HALEY JOEL OSMENT HAS BECOME; TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THAT AMNESIAC STRIPPER WAS WRONG. It continues to BE wrong every time he does it, and I don't want to be a part of it any more, so fuck this fucking bag.\n\nYes, she looks so fantastic in glitter (and nothing else) that I can almost get behind Team Edward. But going back, night after night, to get her aroused by playing Cat's Cradle with \"strangers\" is just too fucking skeevy.\n\nI'll still use the trebuchet and tofu, because my office-mate is still a dick, but I swear I'm throwing the rest of this shit out and ignoring Haley's texts until the weekend.", "The negotiator took a deep, shuddering breath. He had trained for this, spent grueling years in the academy and beyond studying the behavior of criminals. Even so, there was something about today that made him uneasy. You just don’t always wake up on the right side of the bed.\n\nHe composed himself and lifted the phone off the hook.\n\n“What are your demands?”\n\nThe voice on the other end was harsh, unforgiving—not at all the wavering tone the negotiator was expecting.\n\n“You better listen good,” the hostage-taker growled, “because I’m gonna go fast. I want a bag of glitter, two feet of yarn, a black and white photograph of Danny Devito, a model trebuchet, and a moldy block of t—“\n\nThe man fell silent.\n\n“Hello?” asked the negotiator. “Are you there?”\n\nThe criminal’s voice came back, softer now, and with a distracted sort of awe creeping into it.\n\n“Yeah, uh, never mind, we figured it out.”\n\n“You what?”\n\n“We got it. I got it. We’re cool.”\n\n“What do you mean, ‘we’re cool’?”\n\nThe negotiator never got his answer. What he did get was a dial tone, and a stream of relieved hostages entering into the command center across the way.\n\nOne of them broke off from the rest, slung an old backpack over her shoulder, and—before the negotiator or any of the other cops or FBI agents could intervene—left whistling with a bounce in her step.", "I was awoken by a beam of sunlight that shone through wrinkled window blinds. Just down the street I could hear the sirens of LAPD in pursuit, and somewhere in this shit motel some asshole had lit a cigarette before he could even brush the taste of hooker spit out of his mouth.\n\nIt had already been 5 days here- too long to stay any longer without the fuzz catching up. I was almost at the border; I just had to pass through San Diego then sneak on over to Mexico (which in itself would be something to deal with, but later). Baja was out of the way, but the last time I passed through a small town I had the cops called on me for 'suspicious behavior'. At least I'm a city like SD I was just another scumbag.\n\nI couldn't help but feel a bit of a rush at the thought of almost being there. I had gained enough infamy where the US would probably try to have the Mexican police extradite me, but I could at least have a chance to disappear there; maybe shack up with a nice broad somewhere quiet.\n\nI didn't travel with much; just this fuckin' bag that was the reason I'm neck deep in a torrent of whoreshit, but had kept me alive too many times for me to part with it.\n'Not like you wouldn't find your way back anyway,' I thought as I sat on the corner of my dusty bed across from the chair in which the bag lay. It seemed the bag agreed that we'd been sitting around for too long, because today's contents did not include the motel rent for the day. It did, however, include a black and white photograph of Danny DeVito among other, more confusing items. It hadn't been the first time the bag gave me a photograph of someone, and usually it was telling me I'd have to kill them via the extra items, which were usually some kind of weaponry. This time though, it was a bit harder to tell. How the hell was I supposed to kill DeVito with glitter, yarn, a model trebuchet, and a spoiled-to-shit wad of tofu? No, this couldn't be an assassination.\n\nWhatever. I stepped out as I would any other day: head straight south to San Diego, and if I see DeVito I might get a better idea of what I was supposed to do. Of course, it was more like \"when\" I see DeVito; the bag had a funny way of knowing how my day was going to play out, almost as if it was putting shit in front of me.\n\nA few blocks down this shithole of a city and surprise surprise I see none other than the old comedian entering a diner with some friend. He was unmistakeable: short, round, and with that iconic eagle wing hair reaching out from the side of his head. The guy looked like the damn Penguin. 'Here we go.'\n\nI entered the diner and sat myself at the table next to his to eavesdrop for a bit. Eventually one bit the comedian said stood out to me:\n\"Oh shit there she is. Damn how great would it be if I had a little catapult so I can nail her with this cheese?\" Nodding his head toward a woman alone at a table across the room.\n'Hmm, this could be my chance to get close to him,' I thought. I leaned over and pecked him on the shoulder. As he turned I offered him the model trebuchet from my bag.\n\n\"That's awfully convenient son, but thanks!\" He grabbed the trebuchet and turned back to his table. Moments later, I heard a slam from DeVito's table as he launched a piece of cheese at the woman. It missed its target, but had come close enough to cause the woman to angrily look around the room. As she did, DeVito and his companion ducked down low. Upon rising, the two began laughing, and DeVito called me over to thank me for my help, going so far as to offer me a meal because I looked and smelled like shit- a deal I honestly couldn't refuse.\n'Do I have to kill this guy?' I thought. 'I never found him very funny but it'd be a real shame to repay a meal with murder.\n\nAfter some conversation, I asked who it was he pegged with the projectile cheese.\n\"It's my wife. Would you believe the bitch put a hit on me? Wants to take everything I have.\" This was an unexpected turn; I was surprised he'd even mention something like that to me.\n\"Eh, you ain't workin' for her. Wanna know how I know? Her business is tighter than her own ass. She won't do business with street thugs, and you my friend look like you came out of an ass' ass, no offense meant of course.\"\nI weakly smiled, unsure if to just brush it off and laugh or to punch him in the face.\nHe continued:\n\"See those three guys over there?\" He nudged without looking up from his food. \"They're working for her, but they don't know her face. The only reason they haven't come at me yet is because you're here.\nI glanced over to see three large men, one of which I had caught glaring at me.\n\"You wanna do somethin' for me son? I'll pay you a whole lotta money if you do.\"\n\"I'm listening.\"\n\"I need you to kill her.\" Naturally, I met this request with a raised brow. \"If she doesn't check in then the hit is called off.\"\nI thought for a moment on whether or not I should do it, and how I would even do it. He was offering a ton of money, so there was no way I wouldn't cross my mind.\n\"How do I know any of this is true, and that you'll actually pay me?\"\n\"How about I pay you right now?\" He said.\n\"You have that kind of money on you?\"\n\"I was actually planning on hiring my own hitman to play her game, and life just plopped you in front of me\"\n'Yeah, how convenient...'\n\"How do you know I won't sell you out to her and claim the bounty?\"\n\"Again, she won't deal with you. Plus, I'm paying twice as much as she is.\"\n\nI leaned back in my chair and pondered on it. \"Alright, here's my plan...\"\n\nAfter detailing the plan, I stood up, bid the gentlemen adieu, and walked out the rear exit of the diner. Outside, I took the yarn out of the bag and tied it across the entrance.\nUpon reentry, I started towards the restroom. Of course, after I'd left DeVito's table, the three men had begun to rise from their table to approach the comedian.\nThen, DeVito and his companion rushed out of their table toward the rear exit- my cue to approach DeVito's wife. As he passed his wife, DeVito slammed the bag of glitter into her face and exited the diner, leaping over the yarn trap. The three hitmen pursued the two out the diner, tripping on the yarn and just giving DeVito time to enter his cab.\n\nAs DeVito's wife struggled to overcome her glitter-induced disorientation, I crumbled the rancid tofu into her soup, then proceeded to ask if she was okay. She wafted me away and yelled angrily at anyone who dared come near her. I returned to my table, under which lie the suitcase with DeVito's payment. I called a waitress over and requested a large coffee. It had been awhile since I could treat myself, then left the diner, leaving a most generous tip.\n\nDays later, at a bar near Tijuana, one of the tv's was covering the disappearance of famed comedian Danny DeVito after the death of his wife from fungal poisoning. My end of the deal was complete. I hadn't even noticed that the hour was just past midnight. I reached down for my bag and found that it was heavier than when I put it down.\nI took a deep breath. \"Okay, let's see what we got.\"", "######[](#dropcap)\n\nI can't use all these items in one day.\n\nBecause it's impossible, that's why.\n\nNo, don't give me that. You knew the moment you presented me with this bag of glitter, this piece of yarn, this photograph, this model siege engine, and this bag of... honestly, I don't even know what's in here. Is that tofu? Moldy, sweaty, unedible tofu?\n\n...Aw, that reeks. Now my room is going to smell.\n\nWell, thanks a lot, joker. You know, if I don't actually need anything important today, you could just say so.\n\nI don't.\n\nWhat the hell use do I have for moldy tofu? Honestly, just one time, tell me why I need all this stuff before I use it. Go on, I'll wait.\n\nNope. You never do. My whole life is reacting to the most idiotic circumstances with non-sequitur items from a cursed leather messenger bag. That's all I have going for me. I'm nothing but a poorly-conceived Writing Prompt.\n\nYou are cursed. You absolutely are cursed. I don't give a shit what the lady at the store said. She wasn't a fairy or an elf or some quaint magical creature, she was a witch, I'm sure of it now, and my life would be millions of times better if she'd never given you to me.\n\nGod, I was an idiot. \"The Chosen One,\" she told me, \"you're the Chosen One, and this bag will give you all you need to succeed against the Forces of Evil.\" I should've seen through her from the beginning. Chosen Ones don't buy messenger bags from Walmart, they go to, like... ancient temples or some shit. And I paid full price for you too, like a sucker. But she was hot, and she did that thing with the lightshow and the alignment of the planets on the day of my birth and... I believed it. I wanted to believe it. \n\nI thought I had it bad before I bought you. Right out of college knowing I was in a dead end job and it was only going to get worse, and thinking, \"Man, if I had just one thing in my life worth living for...\" \n\nMaybe that's why she chose me. She saw a spineless nobody and thought, \"Hey, wouldn't it be funny to make me a protagonist in some sick short story written by some guy who really should be paying attention in math class in response to a prompt that he doesn't even like because honestly the idea is so played out yet people continue to repost it with increasingly ridiculous criteria in a sad attempt at grabbing karma? Wouldn't that be hysterical?\"\n\nShut up, I can break the fourth wall all I want.\n\nAnd yes, she was lying about me fighting the forces of evil. That's part of the curse. The only thing that makes me The Chosen One is that that witch chose me to deal with stupid villains and monsters for the rest of my life. If I were really a Chosen One, I'd know who I was fighting. One bad guy, or one group of bad guys, who all have a clear goal in mind on how to end the world, or take over it or whatever. That's how it works, right? And you start small, with some minion or whatever who would appear at my job and say, \"Mark Brennowitz, it's time for you to die!\" You know, cause the Big Bad would have sent him to get rid of me.\n\nAnd I'd be all like, \"I don't want to die. Also, how do you know my name?\"\n\nBut then he'd charge in and try to fight me and trash my office in the process (which is fine, I never liked my job anyway, right?) and through some stroke of luck or genius I find the minion's weak spot and defeat him. I don't kill him though. I'm nice like that. And that's when the good fairy introduces herself and gives me the magic bag.\n\nYou see where I'm going with this? The bag would actually be useful to me. I wouldn't be stuck with a bag of moldy tofu smelling up my bedroom. I mean, when have you given me anything that would actually be worth having in a fantasy story, like an enchanted arrow, or a broadsword? But no. Random shit like this. Shit that wouldn't make sense in a real story. Remember that time where you just gave me bags of candy for two weeks straight? Not to mention all those guns, and — and thanks again, for that, by the way. It's real peachy being on the no-fly list. And the no-bus list too! I didn't even realize that was a thing! I sure found out it was a thing, didn't I?\n\nBeen in jail more times than I can count for that stupid prompt.\n\nI get these random items every day and it's supposed to mean that they all work together to defeat whatever villain is coming for me that day, but all that happens is none of this stuff gets used until some random eldritch horror appears and I have to use Rube Goldberg logic to get rid of it all. If I don't use every item, time itself stops to accommodate me. That is a curse. I don't have to explain myself further.\n\nI don't care if I'm hurting your feelings, you deserve it. In fact, you're probably in on it. I've been thinking about this for a long time. If this were a good story, you'd be the plucky sidekick, witty quips out the ass for days to keep the tension down and lift people's spirits. Instead, you're a cryptically unhelpful and unhelpfully cryptic waste of space. I'd be so much better off if you were at least a silent magic bag. But no. I get taunted every day by your mere existence.\n\n...What's so funny?\n\nI'm shit without you? I'm shit with you. At least when I had a normal, boring desk job I didn't fear for the lives of everyone in a three-mile radius around me. Everyone is a target, but I don't have enough money to move out to the mountains or a deserted island or something. You never give me money, no matter how often I'm late on rent. You never give me anything to help me. It's all just a game for the readers' amusement.\n\nYou want to know what I'm going to do about it? What I'm going to do with you? \n\nI'm going to throw you away.\n\nI would.\n\nOh, shut up. In fact, let's do it now! I can't stand hearing you talk another second.\n\nYou know, I never really appreciated having my apartment window sit right outside the dumpster. Now I'm coming around.\n\nAny last words?\n\nMan, what took me so long? I could've thrown you away ages ago. I spent so long clinging to the idea that I could actually be some kind of special, prophesied hero when my life was just fine without you. What a waste.\n\nFuck this prompt. I'm out.\n\n*\n\n[Visit my sub!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheCastriffSub) \n[There MAY be more stories about witches?!?](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheCastriffSub/comments/58i7br/142_your_vile_majesty/) ", "\"Mom! Did you buy the crafting supplies and the print out I asked you to get?\". \n\nI was getting stressed. My presentation about Danny DeVito was due tomorrow morning and I didn't have any time to waste. Mom, being Mom, forgot the poster board and marker I asked her to buy the previous day. Apparently, she had printed out something but somehow, it was a picture of Matt LeBlanc. Don't know how Matt LeBlanc has anything to do with Danny DeVito but it seems my mother confused the two. \n\nThen it hit me. _The magic bag!_\n\nIt had given me herp... I mean glitter yesterday. I fetched it from my overly complicated concealment system in my drawer and started working on my poster. Added some yarn that I had for good measure.\n\nI went through the bag again and found a photo, a toy trebuchet and some tofu. Curious, I popped the photograph out of it's frame and read the backside.\n\n_Young Danny DeVito posing for a photograph_\n\nJackpot! I love this oddly convenient bag! \n\nI glued the photo on in a hurry, not considering how I was using an antique for my 6th grade school project.\n\n_The next day._\n\nAfter getting my presentation out of the way, I head to the cafeteria. Just as I turn to find a place to sit, I feel something hit my back. Not hit, but _squish_ into my back.\n\n\"Food fight nerd!\" \n\nIt was my last straw with this asshole. He had terrorized every single person in this school. Students, staff, even the goddamn headmaster wasn't safe. Heard the creep even grabbed a teacher's ass once.\n\nI whipped out the the trebuchet and looked for something to fire. Turns out the tofu I packed for lunch was rock hard. \n\nOne bloody face and suspension later, I was satisfied with my revenge. Oh and the poster was a thing too. \n\n[Writer's note: I've never done a WP before and was willing to try it out. I'm just a 13 year old in the 8th grade so probably not the best writer in the world. I'm open to any critism. :) ]\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "I crawled over to the bag. Soon it would be a new day. A new adventure awaited me. A grand distraction.\n\nYes. Good. It is a good day. Moldering tofu. Today I will eat! \n\nA photo? The glorious visage of my beloved! Today is a fine day.\n\nA catapult? No, catapults are wrong, defilers of nature and god's law... this is a divine trebuchet!\n\nFuzzy string. Yes. Good. This will serve me well.\n\nGlistering fairydust. ANATHEMA!* I begin to eat the dust, shielding it from my beloved's gaze with my body. They must not see the disgusting foulness that sits in heaps before me! I must dispose of it. \n\nAh, but it is too much! What mortal frame could ever hope to destroy what loathsome fae-creatures have deigned to cast upon this earth? I begin to cry. My failure is too much to bear.\n\nI draw the photograph close to me. I know what I must do next, though it pains me. I set upon the tofu, carving it with the edge of the photograph. Slowly at first, delicately and with the greatest care, I extract my beloved's essence from the photo and transpose it into statuary form. With exacting precision I excise material, the sweat upon my fevered brow cascades now, occluding my sight to the point that I must stop, and engage the yarn in sopping up the moisture- lest my efforts be foiled by by benighted vision.\n\nYes! No immortal hand or eye, nay indeed: but BY MY OWN HAND I have Triumphed in meting out perfection. Look how he stands there, posed in perpetuity, wild and unconquerable. There is the glory of GOD ALMIGHTY in every contour, every surface! \n\nThere is only one thing left now. Tears stream down my face as I affix the sodden yarn to the siege engine. I load the device with the unconsumed glitter. Bile rises in my throat, sickened as I am by the prospect of what comes next. I take the lead of the thong, and circumambulate my creation before coiling myself foetally around it. \n\n\"Happy birthday Frank. I miss you.\"\n\nI pull the chord, and the blinding wave of sparkling horror envelops us.", "I wasn't always the office prankster, but ever since I found the bag- it's been too easy. The pranks have been non-stop, but I also have to keep them tame enough not to get fired.\n\nThere's been a few times the bag has given me toys and trinkets that would be way over the top for your average office. Like that time it gave me a live squid or a voodoo doll of my boss. But everyone expects the high level pranking by now.\n\nUsually the bag gives me one item at a time. Usually it's only once or twice a month. But today, as I walked into my cubicle (aka \"the Cube of Chaos\" to my co-workers), the bag looked unusually full. \n\n\"What's crackin'?\", Mike asked as I sat down. Mike was my biggest ally in pranking. In fact, he's really the brains behind our operation, I just bring the goods.\n\n\"Not much...\", I replied as I sat down. I reached into the bag and pulled out the first item I touched and showed it to Mike.\n\n\"Oooh HO HO! I like where this is headed.\" Mike smiled and I could already see the gears turning. He's a good prank ally to have.\n\n\"Guess who's birthday card needs an extra shot of glitter?\", as Mike spoke I remembered that today was Lizzy's birthday. Lizzy... the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen. Did I really want to be responsible for covering her in the herpes of craft supplies? But the bag had spoken, and Mike rarely led me wrong. Rarely.\n\n\"That's what I'm talking about.\" I replied, trying to hide my uneasiness with a mischievous smile. \n\nMike handed me the card that had apparently already been passed around and signed by everyone in the office. I poured in nearly all the glitter and sealed the envelope... I had learned not to mistrust the bag. The last time I didn't use an item, I paid for it... Can you really blame me though? A large black dildo? There was no way I was bringing that out at work. I tossed it in the bin and hoped no one would see it... but of course it ended up planted firmly on the top of my car. I happened to be driving to meet my ex-gfs parents for dinner that evening. The conservative couple was not amused. How did it end up there? That's still a bit of a mystery...\n\nEventually we all gathered in the break room for Lizzy's birthday lunch. Before I got up, I reached into the bag again... yarn? Approximately two feet of drab, off-white yarn? What could this be good for? I tried to get Mike's attention but he was too focused on the card and could barely keep from laughing about the glitter.\n\nWe all started singing Happy Birthday to Lizzy and she sat there looking gorgeous with her perfect smile, her beautiful blue eyes... her long silky hair... oh shit... why did I put the glitter in her card? Stupid bag, this is going to be a disaster. She is going to hate me.\n\nThen Amy walked in. \n\nAmy is basically my arch nemesis. The fun sucker. The mood killer. I've never tried to prank Amy. She was the type that would have my ass reported to HR before I could say \"Gotcha!\". To quote the great Michael Scott, \"If Amy, Bin Laden, and Hitler were all in a room and I had a gun with 2 bullets, I'd shoot Amy twice.\" She pushed past me as she entered the kitchen and an idea popped into my head. \n\nAmy got started on killing the mood as quickly as she could. \"Ooo, happy birthday, Lizzy!\" she mused in a way that made it hard to tell if she was being serious or sarcastic. \"Let's see what people wrote on your card!\". Perfect. Always trust the bag.\n\nAmy grabbed the card and turned slightly away from the table to open it. Maybe it was the way she opened the card, or maybe this glitter had some extra magic in it. Whatever it was... it was magnificent.\n\nThe glitter practically exploded into Amy's face and the whole room bursted with laughter. Including Lizzy, who didn't seem to mind that the glitter bomb would have exploded on her had Amy not rudely interrupted.\n\n\"OH. MY. GAWD!\" Amy bawled. She slowly turned around and everyone only laughed harder. Mike was on the floor.\n\nEveryone was too distracted to notice I was tying the yarn to one of the table legs and also my own ankle. The yarn happened to match the color of the floor in our little kitchen perfectly. It couldn't be a coincidence. Trust the bag.\n\nAmy was upset and apparently still intent on ruining the fun. \"Well, since I bought this cake I guess I'll just eat it myself.\" Amy grabbed the cake and moved toward the doorway. I quickly stepped aside... creating the perfect trip wire with the yarn in the process. Amy. went. down.\n\nShe looked back with her face full of cake. More laughter ensued, and two coworkers jumped to help Amy up. Luckily, the yarn had come untied from the table after Amy's foot caught on it. I quickly swept that foot behind me and out of sight. No one saw the yarn, but I knew I was playing with fire. Everyone probably thought I was responsible for the glitter, but tripping a co-worker isn't so much a prank as it is assault. \n\nEveryone eventually calmed down and Lizzy seemed to think this was the best birthday present ever (apparently she didn't get along with Amy either). \n\n\"So you were trying to glitter-bomb me, eh Chester?\" Lizzy smiled as she walked past the Cube of Chaos. \"You must have brought me an actual birthday present...\" she said expectantly. \n\n\"Of course I did,\" I lied through a smile and reached into the bag. It was a risky play. God knows what I might pull out of here...\n\n\"HA! That is hilarious. How did you know I like Danny Davito? Always Sunny in Philadelphia is one of my favorite shows.\" she laughed as she looked over the black and white photograph of Danny DaVito. The bag was crushing it today.\n\n\"Who doesn't love that show!? Maybe you should come over and watch it with me some time.\" I innocently suggested.\n\n\"I'd like that. How about tonight?\" Lizzy replied and bounced off to her desk as I just nodded.\n\nI looked over at Mike who gave me a side glance, \"You sly dog you.\"\n\nI smiled and got back to work.\n\nThe day was winding down and I could tell there were at least two items left in the bag. It was time to see what else the bag had in store for me that day.\n\nJust as I reached in I saw Amy walk back into the office. She left after the cake incident (I assume to get cleaned up) and was walking like mad bull straight toward my desk. And she was being followed by Kevin... our HR rep. \n\nI looked down and in my hand I was holding a small trebuchet... \n\nAmy and Kevin were closing in. This wasn't going to end well... might as well go out with a bang! I put the small trebuchet on my desk and loaded it with the remaining glitter. I looked over at Mike who was staring at me with a wide-eyed \"oh shit\" look and shaking his head.\n\nAmy and Kevin were 10 feet away... 7... 4... \n\n\"FIRE IN THE HOLE!\"\n\nThe model trebuchet launched swung and... backfired. The glitter was once again everywhere... but mostly, it was all over me. \n\n\"Cough Cough whoa... \" I looked up to see an unamused Amy and Kevin standing over me. \n\n\"Chester,\" Kevin began, \"it's time to give it up.\"\n\nI looked at him knowingly and replied, \"yeah... I understand.\"\n\n\"Amy has filed a complaint. I understand the glitter bomb was not meant for her, and you have a different relationship with certain other co-workers, but your pranking behavior is not suitable for the workplace.\"\n\n\"I understand.\" I repeated and looked down.\n\n\"Good.\" Said Kevin. \"Now clean yourself up and consider yourself warned.\"\n\n\"WHAT!?\" Amy sputtered. \"THAT'S IT?!\"\n\n\"That's it,\" said Kevin. \"And consider yourself warned as well, Amy. Don't take other people's birthday cards, and don't take their cake either... though it sounds like you learned your lesson on that already.\"\n\nAmy stormed off. Kevin continued, \"I better confiscate this little contraption as well... do you have any other pranking toys, devices...\" \n\nI looked down at the bag, and reached in... \"uh... this?\" A moldy package of tofu sat in my hand.\n\nKevin looked at me like I was mental, \"... I don't even want to know what you were going to do with that. Just throw it away.\"\n\nI tossed it in the trash as Kevin walked away. \n\n\"Bold move, man.\" Mike stated plainly. \"I thought you were getting fired. Which would be a huge bummer for me... this place wouldn't be nearly as entertaining without old Chester.\"\n\nI laughed and I could feel the glitter falling from my face, \"haha, yeah... close one.\"\n\n\n\nLater that night Lizzy knocked on my door, \"Hey Chester!\" God, she was beautiful. \n\n\"Hey Lizzy, what do you have there?\" \n\n\"Oh, just some tofu salad.\" \n\n\"... is that my... moldy tofu?\"\n\n\"Haha, aw man. I was hoping you would at least take a bite first.\"\n\nI laughed, \"You took it out of my trash can and made a salad out of it?\"\n\nShe laughed back, \"yeah, that's not the first prank item I pulled out of your trash can. Remember that dildo that was stuck to your car?\"\n\n\"That was YOU!?\" She really was the perfect woman.\n\n", "Waking up was less difficult today than most. Yesterday my \"items\" were a driver's outfit, a pop-up book about a circus, and a single key to the correct car in the presidential barricade. I can't describe how difficult it was to get past the secret service. I somehow managed to take the real driver out and take over the without shaking the vehicle around as we drove.\n\nTo be honest, the pop up book was the easiest part. He immediately looked at it and was enthralled the entire time. The surprise \"pop-up\" as he opened the last page was worth the trouble. I tend to keep out of politics, but this guy kind of just rubbed me the wrong way, ya' know? To be completely honest, I was hoping he'd be a target for one of us while still in office.\n\nAs I grabbed the bag today, I wondered who it'd be. Most of them are pretty run of the mill. Nothing fancy. I rarely even recognize them. Some of them were pretty rough, though.\n\nYou'd think assassins don't feel a whole lot, but we're still able to recognize good people from the bad. Sometimes people let those opinions get in the way of their contracts. They don't last long. \n\nToday's target threw me off. And that's not even including the odd sort of tools I need to carry it out.\n\nDanny DeVito. What a bummer! He does great work as an actor. I met him one time when I had a citizen name. Seemed to be a genuine kind of person, but definitely a little greasy. There was a slight shimmer of hope that I'd receive orders to cancel.\n\nI logged in to my account to get the itinerary. \"Sushi Station, Elgin, IL, 6:00PM\" was highlighted red. Not too far of a flight this time. I was in the door by 5:00, and sit next to the table that the itinerary mentioned. I like to show up early so I can get a feel of the place, and see if I can figure out how I'm going to be using the objects. It can be...quite a puzzle, sometimes. Today is no exception.\n\nSushi Station seems to be a clean place where, instead of ordering your food, you grab it off a belt. Fairly easy to figure out the tofu. It's moldy. He grabs it, goes to the bathroom to throw up.\n\nUsually for strangulation I get something a little more sturdy than yarn. I didn't think it was that kind of day. But for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what I was going to do with the rest of the tools. Maybe tie off the door to the bathroom to not let people in? Didn't seem right. The Agency doesn't usually utilize the tools like that. Even if they did, that leaves no room for the rest of the tools.\n\nI still didn't know what I'd do when he walked through the door. The itinerary said he had a meeting at 7:30, so I needed to play this quick before he had to leave to make it in time. \n\nI decided to wing it. I placed the moldy tofu on the belt and watched him. I found myself staring, so I got lucky that he didn't look at me as I blew my cover, but I needed to make sure he took the bait.\n\nHe did, of course. I smirked a little as he smacked his lips at the sour taste. \"Tastes like rum ham,\" he mumbled. Ten minutes later I saw him furrow his brows. He ate a few more plates of sushi from the belt before he started to sweat a little. He sat silent for several minutes.\n\nAbout 25 minutes after he ate the tofu, he grabbed his last plate and placed it in front of him. And then he stared. For five minutes he just stared at the plate. Six. Seven. Furrowed brows, sweat, and now and easily recognizable feeling of nausea as he leaned forward. \"Jesus...oh jesus....\" he mumbled as he hurried up and rushed towards the bathroom.\n\nHere we go, I thought. I grabbed my bag and rushed after him. As we got closer to the bathroom, I reached in and found the first item. The trebuchet. He slammed into the bathroom door. I followed, and by the time I made it inside, he was already in a stall. I made the door shut silently behind me. Reached into my bag and found a ball of yarn. As I was about to tie the handle to stop anyone from coming in, I heard a cough.\n\nIt wasn't Danny DeVito. His voice is so distinct. This was a more high pitched tone. Then I heard Danny throw up for the firs time. The purpose of the tools suddenly came into place. I know who set this target up. He likes to make people look like idiots in their death. He likes to make the public scratch their heads. I've never had him assign me a target but his work was pure art. Suddenly, the fact that it was Danny DeVito didn't matter. I got to be part of this beautiful painting.\n\nI grabbed one of the balls of yarn and tied the handle to the stall the other man was in. I took grabbed the trebuchet out of the bag and positioned it towards the stall where Danny continued to expunge the moldy tofu, and I can only assume the rest of the sushi. Glitter. Glitter goes in the trebuchet.\n\nI grabbed the other ball of yarn, tied it to the stall, rounded it around the u-bend under the sink, and tied it to the base of the trebuchet. \n\nThis is perfect. This assignment was perfect. This is the highlight of my career.\n\nI walk out of the bathroom and sit at a table around the corner. The walls are thin, I can hear everything. The panicked sound as a man tries to force himself out of a bathroom stall. Danny grunting. Danny groaning. Danny grunting. Danny blowing out more of his stomach. A mixture of panic and concern from his stall neighbor, unsure why he can't leave, and obviously weirded out by the puking and grunting next to him.\n\n\"Urgh...I'm alright. Bad sushi,\" I heard Danny say. \n\n\"Ah, okay brah, just making sure.\"\n\nHearing 'brah' made me glad this was the guy that was going to look suspicious.\n\n\"Yo, can you open my door, dude? It seems to be locked.\"\n\nA couple seconds passed before I heard anything again. Danny grunted and I heard some thudding. Hard to tell if he was in his stall, still.\n\n\"Urgh...yeah. Hold on.\"\n\nAnother couple seconds and I heard it. I heard the slam of Danny's stall door, the twinge of the trebuchet releasing the payload, and the satisfying \"UHF\" as Danny DeVito get slammed with a bag of glitter. All in less than half a second. I'll never forget that cacophony of sounds.\n\n\"THE FUUUAHHC-\" and a SLAM. He slipped when he was startled backward. This could not have gone better.\n\nSilence. Silence for several seconds.\n\n\"You alright, bro?\"\n\nI already knew the answer. I gave it another couple seconds, strongly resisting the urge to go in and see this art.\n\n\"Is this fucking glitter all over the floor? Bro. You alright?\"\n\nAnother ten seconds.\n\n\"BRO IS THAT BLOOD?\"\n\nI left immediately. I knew it was over.\n\nI watched the database all night. I had to see the pictures the police took. I had to see them. They were every bit as amazing as I hoped they'd be.\n\nDanny DeVito, body inside a bathroom stall of a sushi restaurant, gilded in glitter. I couldn't wait to wake up and see what tomorrow would bring.", "Andrew ate the tofu. It was old and moldy and tasted bad. His stomach churned. The city around him was burning. The sky was red with black clouds swirling like vultures. The earthquakes promised an even greater evil.\n\n\n\"Doc, I don't know about this.\"\n\n\nThe Doctor was on the phone. Somewhere in California he was hiding in a bunker, safe from the catastrophe.\n\n\n\"Andrew, the bag gives you what you need! It gives you everything to save the world!\"\n\n\nAndrew looked at the bag. Usually he would be offended to hear his name. He thought himself an adventurer, and he preferred the name Indiana. But now he was afraid. Ahead, past the walls there was the Spider King. He was enwebbing anything he could find, the fires igniting his webs in streams of flames.\n\n\n\"Doc, it gave me yarn and a picture of a fat man and a catapault and some glitter. How is this gonna save anyone?\"\n\n\n\"You described a trebuchet before. Is it a catapault?\"\n\n\n\"No I guess it's got a long neck. It's like one of those long neck horses, whaddya call them?\"\n\n\n\"Giraffes?\"\n\n\n\"Yeah, it's like a giraffe catapualt.\"\n\n\nThere was silence and static on the phone.\n\n\n\"Okay Andrew, listen. The world is gone to hell. You need to stop the Spider King else we will go to hell as well!\"\n\n\nAndrew shivered. He remembered all the times he never prayed. All the times he fell asleep after making fart noises with his hands, when he was supposed to be praying.\n\n\n\"I don't want to go to hell, Doc.\"\n\n\n\"Good! Then figure something out. MacGyver it!\"\n\n\nAndrew did not know who MacGyver was, and he was afraid to ask.\n\n\n\"Okay Doc. I'll decipher it as you said.\"\n\n\nHe hung up the phone. The bridge to the city had collapsed. There were screams ahead. He saw the figure of the Spider King crawling about. The balance of the world was changing, getting thinner. More demons would come if the Spider King remained unchecked.\n\n\nHe looked at the bag.\n\n\n\"You could have given me like a grenade launcher, you know?\" he said. \n\n\nThen he looked at the trebuchet. He had the other items in his fanny pack.\n\n\nIt's a sachel.\n\n\nHe did not know what they were for, but he figured out a use for the trebuchet.\n\n\n\"Alright you catapault. Let's see if your long neck really helps.\"\n\n\nHe sat in the cup and put the bag over his head. It was musty and unclean smelling, but the dark gave him courage. He cut the cord and launched himself.\n\n\n\"My name is Indianaaaaa!\" he bellowed.\n\n\nHe sailed in the air, vomitting mid air from the motion, and the bag flew off. He saw the concrete sea of fire and blood beneath him, and the ever growing presence of the Spider King getting nearer.\n\n\nOh my God, he thought.\n\n\nHe hadn't thought any of this through. He begged God for forgiveness of his sins and tensed for his death.\n\n\nThis is how an adventurer dies, he thought.\n\n\nAs he made an arc, he saw he had crossed the walls. The Spider King had turned and was staring at him. \n\n\nLoud did the large spider roar, and its stinger was raised in a ready pose.\n\n\nAndrew near defecated himself. He had seen a movie long ago starring Dwane Johnson as the Scorpion King, and he had thought that movie the height of Hollywood special effects. Never had he experienced such terror before. Until now. This Spider King was much bigger than Dwane Johnson, and looked less plastic than the Scorpion King.\n\n\nWith nothing to shield his eyes, he held the picture over his face and readied himself for death. \n\n\nJust then the Spider King screeched and there was the sound of bowels moving. A sticky web enveloped Andrew and he was shaken as he was caught mid flight.\n\n\nHe opened his eyes and peered from the picture.\n\n\nThe Spider King was hunched near the ground. It made a guttural sound. Andrew struggled and rolled out of the webbing and landed unsteadily on his feet. The Spider King followed him with many eyes.\n\n\n\"Where are you going?\" the King asked.\n\n\nHe wondered how improbable it was that a demon would speak Engligh.\n\n\nIt's the most popular language in the world, he thought proudly.\n\n\nAnd he wondered why the Spider King was talking to him. Why had he saved him?\n\n\n\"I... I...\"\n\n\n\"The Grotesque Ghoul,\" the Spider King said. \"That's who you are, right?\"\n\n\n\"What?\"\n\n\nAndrew moved the picture from his face. The Spider King hissed with reproach and readied his stinger.\n\n\nQuickly Andrew placed the picture in front of him and the demon relaxed.\n\n\n\"Where did you go? Is the planes still shifting?\"\n\n\n\"Yes,\" said Andrew. And trying to replicate demon speak the best he could: \"And can you smell what I'm cooking?\"\n\n\nHe postured like he thought Dwane Johnson would.\n\n\n\"Ah, I see,\" said the King. \"Well no matter. This world will soon be devoured and we shall have our fill.\"\n\n\nAndrew's hand was getting tired. Slowly, he reached in his pocket for the yarn. pulled it across his face so that it held the picture firm, and he tied it, making a mask. Now his hands were free.\n\n\n\"Ah, I see your limbs are free now,\" said the Spider King. \"The planes are giving.\"\n\n\n\"Yes fool,\" said Andrew.\n\n\nThe Spider King towered over him. There were people all around, dying slowly, and he did his best to ignore them. A good adventure did not need to be bogged down with the suffering of the innocent. \n\n\nI need to defeat him.\n\n\nAndrew came closer. There was the fire brigade in the distance. He hoped they brought insecticide.\n\n\nWill that work on a spider?\n\n\nHe hoped they brought a big newspaper, just in case.\n\n\n\"So what shall we do now, brother?\" said the King.\n\n\nBehind the eyes of Danny DeVito, Andrew had built some courage. \n\n\nUsing a kneeling dead body as a spring board, he jumped and bounced off a hill of rubble.\n\n\n\"Brother?\" said the King.\n\n\nBut in one fell motion Andrew had pulled out the handfull of glitter and pelted it at the many eyes of the Spider King.\n\n\n\"It sparkles!\" screamed the King.\n\n\nHe fell to his side, leaving his soft belly conveniently exposed.\n\n\nWith vigor Andrew began kicking at the belly, his dirty shoes grating on the soft flesh. \n\n\n\"Aarrgh!\"\n\n\nBut the King was blinded and off balance. The fire brigade was near then. The army had come with them. They pulled up near him and stopped. The ones who were on top of the trucks lifted up their hands.\n\n\n\"Oh my God it's another demon!\" they cried.\n\n\nAndrew removed the picture from his face and they sighed relief.\n\n\n\"Oh thank God. He just had a picture over his head.\"\n\n\nThe army men surrounded the Spider King, now free from the threat of endless webs. In a line, they opened fire on the thing. It writhed in pain. Andrew winced and looked away.\n\n\nDamn, that glitter must have really hurt.\n\n\nHe sauntered off when he was sure the Spider King was dying, and stole a phone from a dead man.\n\n\n'Honey are you okay?' multiple text messages read. 'I saw there was some attack in the city. Are you okay?'\n\n\n'No, I'm dead,' Andrew sent. \n\n\nThen he did not feel so bad about stealing the phone. He called the Doctor.\n\n\n\"Andrew?\"\n\n\n\"How did you know?\"\n\n\n\"Just tell me what happened!\"\n\n\nAndrew smiled.\n\n\n\"It was like you said, Doc. The bag gave me everything I needed, except for the army I guess. But the Spider King's dead. It's like one of those, whaddya call it, A-sock's fables. It all fits together snugly like a nice sock should.\"\n\n\nThe Doctor hung up and Andrew walked alone.\n\n\n-\n\n\nHi there! If you liked this story, you may want to check out r/PanMan, my subreddit. It has all my WP stories, including a couple originals. Thanks for the support!", "I felt an arrow whizz by my head, and dropped low into hiding at my cubicle. \n\n“Ooohhhh that’s not good,” I whispered, trying not to draw too much attention to my location. I saw a barrage of more arrows fly by, as a I slung my magic bag over my shoulder. “Not on hump day, not on hump day.” \n\nI peaked back over to catch a glimpse of who was streaming into the room, before I dropped back down more terrified than before. \n\n“Cats?” I whispered. I made a sprint for the elevator, then hid behind another cubicle when I heard the air get cut by a fresh barrage of arrows. “Armored, anthropomorphic cats? Are we having an early Halloween party with a cat theme?” \n\nMore arrows whizzed by my head, and I started to think this wasn’t the Halloween party. I reached into my magic bag, hoping for a weapon. Or a carton of milk. Or something to fight off all these anthropomorphic cats with bows and arrows firing at will. I reached deep into the bag, and pulled out.. \n\n“Seriously?” I whispered to the bag. \n\nI rolled my eyes and chucked the bag of glitter across the room. I heard the howl and screech of cats chase it down, before they took off their battle armor and rolled in it. They went on their backs, and then crawled around spreading glitter everywhere, when one of them noticed me and hopped up onto all fours, before reaching back for its bow and arrow again. \n\n“Feckfeckfeck,” I said, as I reached into the bag again. I got a whole two feet of yarn out, and put my hands up into the type of motion you do when you don’t know what the fuck do with something. I saw one of the cats reach for his arrow, then go back down to all fours all serious and start stalking the yarn in my hands. It went slow, then fast, then slow, basically it sprinted at me whenever I blinked and I just blink a lot, before I decided to rush out of the cubicle again stringing it along, until it ran into another cat coming from the other direction trying to get the yarn. I ran away while they wrestled. \n\nI ran with the yarn in hand, and watched as all the archers lost their composure and decided that the new priority in their lives wasn’t shooting at my office mates (quite poorly might I add, they hit no-one), but rather their life’s priority was that sweet, sweet yarn in my hands. I could hardly say it was what I needed for the day, since the last thing I needed was their attention and I had all of it at that point. \n\n“Come on bag,” I said, as I ran down the hallway as cats followed me with blank, scary stares. I reached into the bag, just as a cat appeared from around the corner, ready to shoot an arrow between my eyes like Legolas. I reached into my bag, and simply handed the cat whatever was in my hand. The cat slowly dropped its bow and arrow, and picked up what was in my hands. It held it all awkwardly, since it didn’t have opposable thumbs and couldn’t hold it all too well.\n\nIt was just a picture of Danny Devito smiling like a Cheshire Cat. The cat smiled back in kind, with a grin just as wide, and pawed at it like it was a precious thing. \n\nI tried to sneak away from it as the other cats behind me stalked the yarn dangling from my fist. \n\n“I think this bag’s broken,” I cried as I tripped up on a rolling chair, and ran through a crowd of people running from the suddenly big, sentient, cats. I reached into the bag again, and pulled out a moldy block of tofu. I made a gagging noise as I threw it back at the horde of cats. They all made high pitched noises and jumped back away from the tofu like it was a cucumber, and stopped chasing us. \n\nAll the people in the room ran to the elevators, and the steps, and it was too crowded to get anywhere. People were punching, and kicking, and screaming to get off the floor when we all felt the stomps behind us. \n\nI swallowed some spit and turned around, to the sight of several cats adorned in golden armor standing upright (though it looked like they were straining to do so) and basically just looking like the royal family of the Planet of the Cats. They were walking with their little smaller cat child as well, who was also all dressed up and seemed to make facial expressions and gesticulations really similar to Joffrey.\n\n“We understand, that somebody on this planet has stolen our son’s favorite toy,” said the King Cat with a golden crown, and a carton of good old fashioned American milk in his hands. \n\nThe little child pointed at Bob from Accounting. \n\n“He took it,” said Joffrey cat.\n\n“Settle down son,” said King Cat. “It’s just a little model Trebuchet, and as we understand it one of you has it. \n\nI reached into my bag, and pulled it out with my eyes shut. I kind of wished I hadn’t reached into the bag. \n\n“I think this is it,” I said, with my eyes shut like I felt guilty. But I didn’t feel guilty really I just felt pissed at how much the bag sucked today. I handed him the golden trebuchet. “That’s it, yup. Gotta be it.” \n\nJoffrey ran over and yanked it from my hands. \n\n“Fuck you,” said Joffrey Cat. \n\n“Yep,” I said. \n\nThey walked nobly towards the windows of the office like nothing had even just happened and they weren’t just freaking out for no real reason. The cats left the room messier than they found it, without looking back at the people they’d just traumatized, just like regular house cats. \n\nThey one by one jumped out of the windows of the building. One woman tried to stop them, but the king held her back with a gentle smile. \n\n“We always land on our feet,” said the King, with a hoarse laugh, before jumping. ", "//This seems like a great way to waste math class\n\nEver since I was 5, I've had a backpack. It's an average backpack, storage for a few things, you know. One day I forgot my lunch. I opened my bag and saw a Tupperware container with 3 slices of combo pizza. The lunch I would have taken was a PB&J. After a few weeks I realized the bag carried everything I'd need for the day.\n\nSome days the bag carried normal things, like notebooks. Others it had money, plants, hell even a Carolina Reaper and a fifth of Jack. This was when I was 16, by the way.\n\n So, I was a little weirded out when I opened my bag and saw a quart sized Ziploc full of glitter, the herpes of theatre, and a yarn ball. I dug deeper. I pulled out a black and white picture of Danny DeVito, of all people. There was a permanent marker, and a trebuchet? It looked like one but it had a motor and spings. Then there was a moldy block of tofu, double bagged. I replaced everything and left for school.\n\nAs I was rolling down the freeway, I was jamming out to Zeppelin. As Misty Mountain Hop started playing, I see some flashing lights. 3 State Troopers pull out, and surround this guy. Traffic was already stopped, because morning commute.\n\nThis blue 90's era Accord stops. I stop on the shoulder in my 1968 Camaro, and wait. I see Danny motherfucking DeVito. I get out, run, sharpie and picture in hand, and the window rolls down. 2 Troopers aim their pistols and I run up. The Troopers yell at me to stop but then he gets out. I hand him my pen and picture and he signs it. HE FUCKING SIGNED IT!!!.\n\nI run to my car as the Troopers chase. I quickly plop the tofu in glitter and use the trebuchet to huck it. It splatters and the Troopers drop because of the stench. I tie the yarn to the bag of glitter and swing it wildly. The glitter provides a distraction and I drive off, flying on the offramp. Suddenly, a cassette appears in the bag. I pop it in. Metallica starts blaring. \n\nEND\n\nEdit: People asked, the tofu was approximately 90kg, and the distance was 300m" ]	[ 1, 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 5, 5, 19, 52, 72, 391, 2290 ]	[ "1507123080", "1507139795", "1507140774", "1507140857", "1507140529", "1507142662", "1507139584", "1507145747", "1507136903", "1507135624", "1507132633", "1507131929", "1507131561" ]
	[WP] You live in world where you can know the exact date everyone is going to die except for yourself. One day, people start acting nice to you. Like, really really nice.	2	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Staring at the little number above people's heads was a habit of mine. A habit most people had in fact. Our whole lives were dictated by the little numbers that floated above our head. From the moment you were born, everyone could see the day you would die. It affected everything. You couldn't have a Prime Minister who would die before his term was up. A CEO would pick his companies heir by which of his children would live the longest. People wouldn't even fall in love with someone who had a low number. I hated it. I hated how unconsciously people treated others differently because of that stupid count down. Even I did it. \n\nSo when people started smiling at me on the street I knew my time was coming to an end. I was halfway to work when I called in sick and decided to have a me day. It was the least i could do for myself right? The smiles didn't stop, even when I ducked into a cafe. I placed my order and began to pull out my wallet but the barista shook her head. \"It's on the house today.\"\n\nMy mouth felt dry, and I nodded, slowly putting my wallet back into my bag. \"How...how much time do I have?\" I asked. \n\nShe gave me a sad smile and shook her head. \"I'm sorry, I have a hard time doing count down math in my head...but not much. Maybe a day at the most.\"\n\n\"T-thanks.\" I replied feeling choked up. I stood off to the side waiting for my drink, thinking of everything I should do today. I'd need to make a couple of phone calls. First my parents would need to know, then my boss...or would he have already known? Was that why he agreed to give me the day off so easily? My stomach churned. It was hard to let myself have a me day when I knew at the end of it my life would be over. \n\nI found myself walking around aimlessly more than anything. I'd get myself little treats here or there, but I could hardly remember the taste by the time I swallowed. My mind was occupied with ways I might die. I was only twenty five. My health had been great so far, and my family didn't have any health conditions as far as I knew so whatever happened today was going to be accidental. At least, that was the best case scenario. I shuddered to think that it could be homicidal. \n\nWith all of my wandering around, I found myself down by the river. I stood on the bridge, looking over the sights. This could be the last thing I ever see. With a sigh I pulled out my phone and began to dial my parents home number but before I could even hit call, someone ran into me. Without thinking, I grabbed hold of him to try and steady myself but as I glanced up at the count down above his head, I knew it was a bad idea. I don't remember much else after that. I just remember the wind in my ears as we both toppled off the bridge and the stinging pain from when I hit the water. \n\nI came back up coughing and sputtering. The river had dragged us down until we were washed back ashore. Was this not how I was suppose to die? Was something else crazy going to happen to me today? Or would I die later in a hospital? I took a sharp breath of air when I noticed the boy who had fallen off with me. I rubbed at my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing things. His countdown had gone into the negatives. By the way he was looking at me, I'm pretty sure mine was too." ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1507148273", "1507159521" ]
	[WP] You can enter the body of anyone, or anything, at will but you lose your original host.	1	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Sweet meaning of life, I am not your slave.\n\nI am one of the world's and I'll always behave.\n\nI have never dared to use my gifted power \n\nsince I've been told it's akin to stealing a rare flower.\n\nBut now is the time and I will not cower \n\nas my loved one needs me at her final hour.\n\nI take her place in a dizzying wave \n\nShe lives in me, I live in her grave.\n\n~~poetry is not my strongest but I've given it a go. I mostly prefer poetry that doesn't rhyme lol this is crap~~\n\n" ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1507151780", "1507155757" ]
	[WP] "Wait, no! You're not supposed to use it that way!"	3	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "The small white clock above the doorway was Bill's only reminder of how long he have bin stuck in this dull green room. \"You think they could at least given me a magazine on men's health or something\" thought Bill as his eyes desperately searched the room again for something to pass the time. \"Next time drunk Bill charge your damn phone you idiot.\" Bill said aloud bringing a hand to his temple. \n\nSince this morning something seemed off about this hangover.Bill was used to the daily routine of waking up with a spiting head ache and wishing the sun would implode but this would pass by noon normally. This time however the pain continued well pass that and at 5:43 P.M. Bill surrendered to the pain and made his way to the walk-in clinic.\n\n It had bin a miserably boring hour and a half since the petite blond left him in this room devoid of anything entertain. Bill got up from the dent he was forming in the chair and made his way over to some cabinets and drawers in the corner of the room. \"Maybe they got a pamphlet or somethin in here I can read\" Bill thought to him self, pulling open a drawer.\n\nThe drawer was organised and stocked with all sorts of medical tools that he could only recognized a few of .His eye first saw a rather large needle the brought a shiver down his spine and a reminder of why he avoided doctors . He then made a mess wading threw a bunch of medical gauze and bandages. \" I ain't bleeding\" Bill scoffed to him self. His hand finally made contact with a cold glass rod. \" I don't need a degree to use this.\" he said aloud grabbing the glass rod and making his way back to the chair in the middle of the room.\n\nHe plopped back down in to the dent he made and opened his mouth slightly. He popped the glass rod in like a lollipop one ended sticking out the right side of his mouth. \"God this taste like...\" his thought was interrupted by the sound of the door nob being turned. \"I'm sorry for the delay Mr.McCarthy you would not believe what a day we are hav....\" \n\nThe woman in the pure white lab coat stopped mid sentence when her eyes looked up from the clip board. \n\n\"Wait, no! You're not supposed to use it that way!\" She barked quickly \"Spit it out! Now!\" \n\n\"Why should I? \" Bill said back like a defiant 4 year old. \n\n\" Sir that is a rectal thermometer !\" She shouted.\n\n \"A what now?\"Bill asked confused moving the glass rod from the right side of his mouth to left. \n\n-First time posting and wanted to give it a shot finally . Any comments on my writing would be much appreciated." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1507224717", "1507232541" ]
Inspired by https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/74f9nn/eli5_why_do_snipers_need_a_spotter/dny1s6q/	[WP] Your peaceful county holds principles of democracy in high regard. While the army retains a basic military structure, there are no orders - every decision require a vote conducted according to formal rules and procedures. War begun. Your squad just engaged in its first combat situation.	19	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\"Squad! We have two options - one! advance towards the enemy from the right flank! Two! Hold the ground, and set up an ambush!\" The Sergeant bellowed. \"I'm enacting Wartime Democratic Protocol Article Four, Section Two - we must now democratically vote on the current strategy, which our squad will follow through with!\" \n\nThree Corporals and seven Privates stared up at him. \n\n\"All in favour of option one!\" \n\nFour hands raised in unison. After half a second, a fifth hand raised - pointing almost horizontally. \"Grenade!\" \n\nThe frag exploded, showering the squad with fragmentation, dirt and bits and pieces of human. When the smoke cleared, the Sergeant was gone. A Corporal stood shakily. \"As per Wartime Democratic Protocol Article Four, Section Three-\" A bullet turned half of his head into red mist, as he collapsed like a sack of potatoes. The last surviving Corporal rose to the challenge. \n\n\"...uh, well, since Corporal Smithson has met his untimely demise, I am following through with double-u dee pee Article Four, Section Three proper, and enacting Section Four as acting commander of Squad Sixteen-\" \n\nA flurry of movement could be seen, and before anyone realized it, a rather large combat knife was pressed against the Corporal's throat. He gulped. \"All... all in favour of appointing Private Jackson as acting commander of Squad Sixteen in the event of my death, according to...\" \n\n\"Will you shut it?\" The man holding the knife growled. \"Listen up, you are now prisoners of war, and shall be treated as such. You will surrender your weapons to my commanding officer and will not resist. Understand?\" \n\n\"...all in favour of understanding-\" \n\n\"I said shut the fuck up!\" \n\n-----\n\n\"Corporal, why are the prisoners unguarded?\" The Staff Sergeant demanded, right in the Corporal's face. \n\n\"Sir, I invite you to watch them with me.\" \n\n\"Why is that, Corporal?\" \n\n\"Sir, you may yet be aware of it, but our enemies have... an extremely peculiar set of procedures that they must follow through in each and, apparently, every aspect of their lives, and no different on the battlefield. Permission to demonstrate?\" \n\n\"...granted.\" \n\n----- \n\n\"Alright, vote is sixteen to thirteen on escaping via the south exit. Moving onto next vote as outlined in Article Five, Section Two, involving the exact manners of our escape and the such. Current voting item: all in favour for Private McIntosh as point man...\" " ]	[ 1, 3 ]	[ "1507227276", "1507262277" ]
	[WP] A mad scientist, tired of gun violence, infects the entire planet with a DNA altering virus that makes every one extremely durable and bulletproof. That was one year ago and the culture of humanity is starting to get really weird.	47	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", " Humanities Step Forward\n\nYou know when everyone says your special when your little and everyone else is special too? Well if everyone is special - No one is.\n\n100 years ago, a Russian scientist decided that the war between the U.S, China and Russia had become too violent. The world he had seen was spread with atrocities and false hope that made him question his own humanity. Rather than seeing sons and daughters run off to the slaughter and regimes spread across Europe devouring countries into the war machines like a plague, He decided to end it in a way that no one expected.\n\nWhile working on a new NX-132 virus to target specific troops on a battlefield while invading the EU nations - Stephoff secretly worked on a genetic mutation virus on his own. The mutation virus would strengthen the entire human body down to the genetic level increasing both the durability and longevity of the next level of humanity. He called this genetic mutation the Z-Gene. \n\nOver the next few months the Z-Gene was being tested under the guise of being a prototype for the NX-132 bio warfare virus and given to test subjects. The results were astounding - not only did the skin become hard enough to resist bullets but the organs and muscles became so strong that they could not even die from normal age or disease anymore. Russia in the beginning tried to quiet down this great discovery, giving it only to troops to empower their forces. This however did not last for long as the doctor himself leaked the formula to the other countries to even the sides.\n\nIn the end the NX-132 virus was a complete failure and the Z-Gene was a remarkable success. Skin was no longer burned by fire or chemicals; Bullets no longer pierced flesh and disease and age no longer took its toll. With everything but large explosions or extremely potent gas ineffective the war ended due to large stalemates. \n\nStephoff was however not so lucky, as he died before the war ended of unknown causes and never got to see the peace that he created. That students is how we got here today in the international peace college, getting ready to watch the first colonial launch into space. Today you will see humanity take another step forward thanks to the sacrifice of one man in the darkest time of our history. \n\nLearn from history, so we do not repeat our mistakes. \n\n---\n\nEnd\n\n~Dawg.\n\nFeedback always welcome :D \n" ]	[ 1, 20 ]	[ "1507240146", "1507245610" ]
[removed]	[WP] Jurassic Park but instead of dinosaurs its sluts (remember rule 2: no sexual content)	1	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nWhile it doesn't seem to be your intent, the mods reserve the right to remove anything we feel may become harmful to the community. This includes prompts likely to generate such responses. \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/74kiy9/wp_jurassic_park_but_instead_of_dinosaurs_its/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1507253748", "1507253878" ]
[removed]	[WP] You, ever since you were born, have had to repeat the same day over and over until you had reached the best day possible, but no matter what you seem to do today won't end.	3	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nNo recent reposts, even if changing small details ([copy-cats](http://i.imgur.com/38FjDgW.gifv)). Search before submitting as popular ideas can cause floods. If your idea is based on something you read elsewhere on reddit, chances are it's been submitted here already. Please wait at least 2 weeks before reposting.\n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/74l4y4/wp_you_ever_since_you_were_born_have_had_to/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1507260942", "1507261819" ]
So ideally I would like stories involving War and soldiers, but any way you can use the prompt would be great too.	[wp] Those who contribute a significant amount of time to the betterment or detriment of a Horseman's cause are guided to the afterlife by said Horseman.	2	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "He was a wise Horseman, who had seen war and carried many soldiers - alive and dead - on his horse. \n\nIt was after the death of his most recent concubine that he guided her to the afterlife, as he had so many before her, when her soul whispered to him - \"I thought you were a Whoresman, but didn't say anything once I saw that donkey dick\"" ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1507302892", "1507351168" ]
	[WP] When you step into the aura of the people around you, you hear a song according to who they are. One day, you meet a 6 year old girl, and begin to hear a dark heavy metal song.	48	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\"Lucy!\" A woman snapped.\n\nThe girl's head jolted, breaking our eye contact, and we both turned to see a woman fast-walking our way.\n\n\"What did I tell you about wandering off?\" The woman grabbed Lucy's arm, harder than what was necessary. Lucy winced. \"I told you to stay where I could see you!\" The woman turned to me and said, \"I'm so sorry. My daughter can be a little bit of brat sometimes. I hope she didn't get on your nerves too much.\"\n\nI glanced at Lucy. Tears were welling up in her eyes as she stared at the ground and struggled not to cry. \"No.\" I said. \"She didn't.\"\n\n\"Thank goodness! Lucy,\" the woman said sharply. \"Say sorry to the man.\"\n\n\"No, that's fine,\" I said.\n\nThe woman ignored me and squeezed Lucy's arm tighter, until Lucy choked out a, \"Sorry!\"\n\nAs they walked away, I could hear the woman saying things to Lucy that a mother should never say to the daughter. And Lucy just took it with her head bowed. She had to.\n\nAnd I understood what the dark heavy metal song aura was.\n\nShe was trying to drown out the sound of her mother's voice.\n\n" ]	[ 1, 32 ]	[ "1507320366", "1507321581" ]
	[WP] Write a story that takes place within the span of a second.	5	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "This is my first time writing a prompt. Please be gentle\n\nIn a normal sunday morning, A man sat angrily on his couch, as his favorite show he's watching, Game of Thrones, was interrupted by a breaking news. A heist near his house was going down. \n<br>\nAlthough his mind was grumpy, he still had some conscience in him to go there and lend some help. He quickly changed his clothing and dashed outside. He arrived there and took care the guys who did the heist, then quickly ran back to his house continue binge-watching Game of Thrones. \n<br>\nAs he sat down, he saw the news changed. \"The people who did the heist had died. The cause of death was internal bleeding from a blunt force trauma.\" Barry Allen thought to himself, \"I should've went more gently on them\". ", "The DMT hit my brain within a milisecond, time seemed to be slowed down, I shot through a portal of geometric patterns as high pitched echos of laughter seemed to come from the distance, I could not locate where the sound was coming from, in the distance I saw a town lit up with halloween lanterns. I realized I no longer had a body, like a cartoon with no outline, or a droplet of water in the sea, I was both the background and the foreground, I could shift shape into all kinds of objects but they were only that object because I saw it that way.\n\nI slowly started floating towards the town, I looked to my right where I saw a green reindier made out of light run allong with me, the reindier opened its mouth and burped out what seemed like math equations, even though I could not understand the language that it was written in, I could somehow fully understand what it meant.\n\nI arrived at the town, made out of stopmotion playdoh clay. Snow made out of golden light seemed to rain through the town, unable to be stopped by anything it went through, roofs, through the street floor and even through my body.\n\n11 elves stood before me, all with tattoos of eyes between their curly eyebrows.\n\nThe first elf opened its mouth and started to sing.\n\nThe singing created atoms that started to compose me in a new body.\n\nAn alien body, yet a familiar body.\n\nI followed the elves into the main hall of their town, there was a factory inside, the kind of factory santaclaus would have on the northpole.\n\nHowever I wondered, what where they producing? They could create atoms by singing, what could they possibly make in this factory? \n\nThere was a table in the middle of the factory, made from glass filled with all possible colours. I walked towards it yet the elves wanted to stop me. \n\nYet somehow I couldnt stop walking towards it.\n\nWith amazement I looked at the table, THIS IS IT! THE ANSWER TO THE UNIVERSE. \n\nSuddenly the ground started to shake and I fell through the floor like the golden rain, back into my livingroom.\n\nHow long was I gone I asked.\n\n1 second.\n", "This is the story of Dave the electron.\n\nDave lived a quiet life, running around in a circle on a road that he was sure was very important, then one femtosecond everything changed. The road had a branch. A new, better, branch. This branch was much easier to run on, and much longer. Dave had to try it out for himself.\n\nThis new branch was full of new and interesting places. The road curved in ways he had never imagined it could curve and he could feel many of the stops changing when he passed though them. He had never had such an effect on his old road. This place was amazing.\n\nBut then he hit the red lane. This place was awful. Just walking on it hurt, with every step he took he could feel the road beneath him giving way and it took more and more effort just to step forward. \n\nHe had to get though. He could see the end, just a few more step and he would be off this awful road.\n\nThe the red lane gave way, and Dave the electron was sent flying into the air. \n\nHe was sure he was done for, but then he was picked up by a lovely young Oxygen atom. The two fell in love quickly, and though he knew he would have to share her with 7 other electrons, he knew he would be happy with her. No more running, he was finally where he wanted to be.\n\nAnd that is the story of how the claw machine's last light bulb went out, and why you can't play it right now. So scram kid.", "This is my first time writing a prompt. Please be gentle\n\nIn a sunday evening, a man sat angrily on his couch, as his favorite show he's currently watching, Game of Thrones, was interrupted by a breaking news. A heist near his house was going down. \n\n\n\nAlthough his mind was grumpy, he still had some conscience in him to go there and lend some help. He quickly changed his clothing and dashed outside. He arrived there and took care the guys who did the heist, then quickly ran back to his house continue binge-watching Game of Thrones. \n\n\n\nAs he sat down, he saw the news changed. \"The people who did the heist had died. The cause of death was internal bleeding from a blunt force trauma.\" Barry Allen thought to himself, \"I should've been more gently on them\". " ]	[ 1, 1, 2, 2, 2 ]	[ "1507374091", "1507382359", "1507375127", "1507380422", "1507382363" ]
[removed]	[WP] You have an "alcoholizer" that adds an hydroxyl group to the first carbon of all simple alkanes in the air around you. ISIS shudders as your cow army farting tonnes of poisonous methanol every second reaches their last stronghold.	2	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nNo troll or meme-based prompts. This includes posting fart or poop jokes as prompts. \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/74ut5d/wp_you_have_an_alcoholizer_that_adds_an_hydroxyl/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1507382343", "1507384345" ]
	[WP] Dear Zork, I’ve recently returned to my home planet after a long vacation. To my dismay a rather nasty human infestation has taken hold. Any advice on eradicating then without further disrupting the biosphere? Love, Xebula.	6	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Dear Xebula,\n\nThat is quite the problem. Take a look at what stage they are at. If they are at stage 4, practically space-able, then the only way to get rid of them unfortunately involves a complete wipe, which leaves your planet a blank slate. \n\nIf they aren't at that stage, you can always just activate that. It should make the humans completely under your command, so you can just easily kill them off. Or, if you want, have some drones to rebuild for you! Just remember to act the part.\n\nHope to see you soon, \n\nZork.\n\n----\nXebula looked over the letter once more, and decided with activating that. With a delicate press of a button from a tentacle, that was activated. It wouldn't take long, so Xebula took to preparing herself.\n\n----\n\nOn earth, a rumbling was heard around the world. The ground shook open, the cracks filling with a viscous green liquid. The fumes that exuded from this liquid enticed humans to drink it. With a single sip, the humans lost all sanity. Their skin started to shed, it now a dark green. All hair fell off, and they ripped off their clothes. Anyone near to these maddened humans were pulled in to drink, sealing their fate...\n\n---\n\nXebula was ready. She had found the right dress, that covered most of her tentacles. Her headdress perfectly extenuated her third eye. To the humans, she would look like a goddess. She set up the landing procedure, and prepared to land.\n\nHer ship landed in the middle of a ruined city. The turned humans crowded around the ship, kneeling on the ground. Xebula descended from the ship, and spoke to her mad worshippers. \"I am Xebula, your new goddess .A new era has begun. Obey me, and you shall be rewarded.\" The humans all echoed a resounding \"Hail Xebula! Hail Xebula!\" Xebula's two mouths smiled. \"Good. Destroy your cities. Soon, we shall be able to rebuild for this new era!\" With that, the humans scrambled off to destroy what was left. Xebula took a stray human and used it as a seat. 'It would take a while, but these humans would repay what they have defaced' She thought, whilst the buildings around her were reduced to rubble, then to chunks, then to dust." ]	[ 1, 2 ]	[ "1507392121", "1507411999" ]
	[WP] Occasionally your cat would bring you critters, but for the past week she's been bringing home hundred dollar bills. Today she brought home a zip-lock bag filled with white powder and a thumb.	118	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "\"What the hell is that!?! A thumb!?\" I screamed at my cat. She kept meowing at me all day, This must be why. She wanted me to see this thing she brought. A thumb in a ziplock with white powder.\n\nThis cat of mine isn't normal - She loves bringing me dead insects and sometimes rats. It's disgustingly cute, Until last week. She's been giving me hundred dollar bills since last week. She couldn't have got it from my wallet. It's with me.\n\nMy cat dropped the ziplock on my feet. I picked it up and stared at the thumb. Why is it there?\n\n\"meow...Meow...\"\n\n\"Huh? What? Why?\"\n\nShe ran around the house. I couldn't keep up - She's fast. She kept running and running, and running, and running, and now I'm tired.\n\n\"Ugh, where are you taking me? First you bring me money... and now you bring me a thumb, and now you... ugh, run?\"\n\nShe stopped running at the basement door. She obviously wanted to get in there.\n\n\"Fine.\"\n\ncrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk\n\nI quickly realized I haven't cleaned this place in a while. Dust everywhere, and it smells. Roaches all round the place. My cat ate some of them. She even gave me its head. Eesh.\n\nI looked around and turned the lights on. Nothing but a disgusting mess. Except for that hatch my cat is sitting on. How'd it get there? How did I not notice it?\n\n\"Cookie, could you please move?\"\n\nShe moved and I opened the hatch. A ladder? Strange.\nI descended. And so did my cat. She just jumped. And it was dark. There was something under my basement and I didn't know about it.\n\nCookie gave me a flashlight. I turned it on. We were in a long hallway with a door at the end. We walked to the door and opened it.\n\n\"It's him! Get him!\"\n\nBefore I could even react, Gunfire was there. I was shot and bleeding. I took cover behind a crate on the hallway. I'm bleeding heavily.\n\n\"Go go go! Shoot him!\"\n\nFck. There were two? I couldn't think -- I'm dying, and there's two people with a shotgun and machine gun. Gotta get out and get help. Wait. Where's Cookie!?\n\n\"AGH YOU STUPID ---\"\n\n\"OUCH OW YOU ARGHHHH\"\n\n\"NO YOU --\"\n\n\"DIE YOU LITTLE -\"\n\n\"What?! Cookie!? No!\" I screamed in horror. She was attacking the two. Clawing them. She was winning. But she could die and I gotta get her. But I'm bleeding like hell. But she could die...\n\nBANG*\n\n\"NO!!\"\n\nThey shot her. My cat is nothing but blood. She's gone. And so will me if I don't get the hell out of here. I'm weakened by my wound but so are the two.\n\nI limped towards the ladder, leaving a trail of blood. I locked the hatch and the basement door. I reached for my telephone.\n\n\"Hello...911\"\n\n---------------------------------------------------------------------------\nI'M NEW TO WRITING, FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED :D\n\nEdit: Spacing.", "I looked down at Binx and thought to myself\n\n\"Ok this is getting weird now.\"\n\nI grabbed the bag and inspected it through the clear plastic. Yep, that's definitely a fucking thumb. Upon further investigation I noticed a small hole in the bottom of the bag. Clearly a puncture from my cats teeth. Then it hit me. This is probably coke and my cat is probably off the fucking walls right now.\n\nI looked down at where Binx was and as I expected has disappeared. He typically liked to go into the basement because there was much more room down there for him to run. As I descended the staircase with the bag in hand I stepped on a cat toy and started to fall. I fell straight forward and used my hands to catch myself. Big mistake. The force of the fall ruptured the seal of the bag and out came a cloud of white dust right in my face.\n\nI had explosions in my pupils and my heart was racing.\nI felt like the fucking man. I looked up and across the room I saw Binx staring at me with the largest eyes I've ever seen. We must have locked eyes for at least five minutes when he gets up runs away and disappears. I collect myself and stand up and like magic Binx is at my feet.... with a hundred dollar bill from earlier and I knew exactly what I was doing with that money. \n\nBuying another fucking bag of white lightening! \n\nBut where do I go? This was my first encounter with this and it wouldn't be my last. I searched for some kind of connect and came up with nothing after the effects wore off I passed out.\n\nThe following morning I woke up to the soft touch of a paw in my face. I opened my eyes and there is binx standing on my chest. With another bag of coke except this one had a note on it.\n\n\"Dude your cat is chill as fuck but keeps stealing my coke and money, I don't know where this little fucker goes but I'm gonna find out and I'm getting my fucking thumb back or you're dead.\"\n\nThe thumb. The fucking thumb. I forgot all about it! Where was it I knew it was in the bag when I fell but that was the last time I saw it. Now I'm panicking. I knew this would end up poorly. However on the other hand I had a fresh bag of coke...\n\nI said fuck it and got a little crazy. Not even a minute later there is a knock on my front door. I open the door not thinking obviously and swiftly get punched right in the face.\n\n\"WHERES MY FUCKING THUMB?\" \n\nI've never seen a man like this before he was probably five feet tall if he was lucky with a bald head and a soul patch. He wore a pink sweater and jeans.\n\n\"I DONT KNOW DUDE I LOST IT.\" I said\n\"YOU LOST MY FUCKING THUMB?\" He replied\n\"YES IM SORRY. MY CAT BROUGHT IT TO ME.\" Desperately trying to stop my nose from bleeding.\n \nThe man charged me and tackled me to the floor.\n\n\"I WANT my thumb!\"\n\nRight then Binx, who was an all black cat, comes running out of no where his face looked like he just shoved it in a pile of snow and leaped onto the mans face biting all over and scratching all over. \n\nI couldn't believe it but the man literally couldn't defend himself from this cat. He was flailing wildly around the room knocking things off the shelves and even putting a hole through my drywall. Binx was absolutely relentless and the man unknowingly was backing up toward the stairs. Luck was with me today and he well backwards right into my basement and hit his head severely on the way down. I looked at the bottom of my stairs and one thing stood out. The thumb was right there next to the guy at the bottom of the stairs. \n\n\nI called the police and both of us were arrested him for obvious reasons and me for coke possession. Luckily it was my first encounter with the law and they let me off with probation. \n\nOut of all the craziness the one thing that never made sense. The man who attacked me had two thumbs...\n" ]	[ 1, 6, 31 ]	[ "1507432767", "1507439608", "1507435389" ]
[removed]	[WP] Your child is kidnapped! For a long time you have tried to narrow down the susoects, when the assailant sends a letter of ransom. "If you want your child back, I'll need about tree fiddy."	1	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nNo troll or meme-based prompts. \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/75016d/wp_your_child_is_kidnapped_for_a_long_time_you/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1507440963", "1507441032" ]
Yes, inspired by a post on r/funny.	[WP] A man ran after a train his whole life. This is his story.	3	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "I could hear Amanda giggling as I walked around the old, unused train stop. Evidently a major hub in the past, it was now overgrown and the equivalent of a junkyard. It was a dark, cloudy day, and the shadows cast an eerie atmosphere over the abandoned station. It had always given me the creeps, but that day I had outright chills. I would rather have stayed home, but Amanda had her heart set on going. \n\nIt had always been her and my late wife’s place before her passing, and I’d only voluntarily set foot there a handful of times while she was still alive. My presence there had increased only recently, and always due to Amanda’s stubborn insistence. I’d been hard pressed to say no to my baby since the death of her mother last year. She was all I had left.\n\n“Hey Daddy, I’m going to play on this old train!” Amanda yelled to me. Immediately I was confused by its mere existence, for among the times I’d been there over the years, this was its first appearance. Fittingly parked next to the platform as if it had just arrived, it seemed to have appeared overnight. The locomotive in question was rusty and beat up, but underneath there was a beauty to it, a sort of elegance that dirt and dents could not cover up. However, it was clearly years past its prime and almost certainly non-operational. Overall, this dilapidated train left a bad feeling in my stomach, but I nodded back my approval and inflicted my worst dad joke on her, “Just don’t lose your train of thought!”\n\n“Dad, that was terrible!” She laughed as she stepped inside. I walked off to inspect the scattered pieces of history, as I always did on these days. I enjoyed imagining the past and how the relic I had found was used. After all, I wasn't a historian for the money. I was across the courtyard from my little girl when all of a sudden, I got the biggest chill of all.\n\nA deafening creak rang out as the train rolled slowly forwards, its only witness my distant back. A whistle blew as I whipped around and for a moment, I could believe neither my eyes nor ears. After a second or two of persuasion to my legs I was clearing the space between me and the platform, but to no avail. The train simply picked up speed too quickly. It chugged and chugged over both rusted and imagined tracks, some rails having been stolen or lost long ago. This was a voyage of memory, not one guided by the mortal plane. \n\nI chased after it for hours, following the tracks and hoping it would eventually stop for the night. I ran and ran until my legs complained, then screamed, then threatened to quit. My breath grew so shallow and ragged that I almost passed out. It was a miracle that I didn't need stitches with how sharp the cutting pain in my sides was. The few times I did stop were to reacquaint the contents of my stomach with my mouth, as my comfortable, beer-loving body was not made to handle this level of activity. What had been a gloomy afternoon eventually turned into a hazy dusk, and then to a pitch black night. Inevitably I collapsed, physically unable to move any farther. As the saying goes, if you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down. My baby girl was gone, and this method was getting me nowhere. I needed an actual plan.\n\n---------------------------------------------------\nPart 1\n\nWill have Part 2 tomorrow or the day after. I didn't see the post that inspired this prompt so this is my take.", "One chilly autumn afternoon\n\nGreg sees that he is late.\n\nThe train departs, to pleas immune,\n\nNo time to think or wait.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nGreg runs along the twisted tracks,\n\nThe train is out his reach.\n\nIts wobbly ride is lazy, lax,\n\nAnd yet the breaks don't screech.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPasses a day, then two, then three,\n\nThe chase becomes more strange.\n\nThey pass a plain, a hill, and sea,\n\nEven the seasons change.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo through the rain and through the snow\n\nGreg runs and jumps and hops.\n\nAnd little does the poor man know\n\nThat this train has no stops." ]	[ 1, 3, 5 ]	[ "1507474507", "1507686651", "1507478838" ]
	[WP] The princess is to have an arranged marriage in a few days, but she doesn't want to because she and her magic tutor have secretly fallen in love.	13	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "“Come with me if you want to live.”\n\nA strong hand clamped down on Harry’s mouth as the thrashed awake. He was in bed in his quarters, tangled in the sheets so badly he could not even free own hands to fight off his assailant. \n\nEven with his eyes wide open he could see nothing in the pitch dark of his room in the dungeon. \n\n“It’s me. Be quiet.” Harry, fully awake now, recognized the voice of Princess Moraine. “You must be quiet. I am going to remove my hand now.”\n\n“What the devil is going on?” Harry asked.\n\n“Maria, my handmaiden has learned of our affair and I believe she will tell my father and Lord Rathbone this very night.” \n\nHarry swore. “She would betray you?” \n\n“That girl has no love for me, her own father was hanged as a thief when she gave witness. She was only ever around me because she hungered for power. If she believes she can gain from betraying me, she will.”\n\nHarry knew or guess this already, so it took him no time at all to accept the facts. He struggled to get out of the sheets as Moraine helped. \n\n“We must flee at once,” Moraine said.\n\n“I need to pack.” Said Harry as he pointed his finger at the candelabra. Light flickered from every candle giving Harry’s tired eyes some aid. \n\n“No time, if there had been a chance to pack don’t you think I would have done so myself?”\n\nFor the first time Harry took in Moraine’s full appearance. Her flaming red hair, short and usually well kept, was now a thick mass of tangles. For clothes, she wore only a night shirt, and riding boots. She carried her sheathed sword in her left hand. \n\n“You walked down here like that?” he asked.\n\n“Like I said there was no time. We must go at once.”\n\n“Did anyone see you? Surely you must have stuck out?”\n\n“I ran down the servants stairs, none of them are about at this hour. I guess I was lucky.”\n\n“Be that as it may, our luck may not hold forever, here put this on.”\n\nHarry handed Moraine some of his own clothes, they were close enough in height and size that his clothes looked only slightly ill-fitting on her. Harry grabbed his straw hat, the one he wore while walking in the fields and crammed it on Moraine's head. Only three people in the whole castle had hair like that, the queen, the prince and Moraine herself, the younger sister had raven black curls but looked like Moraine in every other aspect. If anyone were to catch sight of her hair it would be a dead giveaway. Harry silently thanked the Gods she wore it short as he pull on his only pair of riding trousers and a wool shirt that was more patches than original (he had just given Moraine his good shirt). Harry grabbed what little money he had from a pouche on the table along with his wand. There was an open trunk of spell books at the foot of his bed, Harry slammed it shut and tapped the lid with his wand. The trunk disappeared. “I can’t chance it getting into the wrong hands.” He explained. \n\n“Let’s go.” Moraine said, “You check the corridor.”\n\nHarry stuck his head out first. The corridor was just as black as everything else, the only light came from further up the spiral stair case at the end of the hall. With a wave of his wand, Harry extinguished the candelabra. Moraine followed Harry into the corridor. After she quietly shut the door, Harry tapped the lock with his wand. Instead of the click of a lock, the two lovers heard the whine of twisting metal. \n\nThey held hands as they walked down the hall. There were other doors to other rooms on this level of the dungeon, but Harry was the only one who actually lived down here. Each room was used to store something important and each door was locked with thick iron bars and ornate pad locks. Aioan the Grand Mage had constructed these locks himself with the aid of the finest blacksmith in the land. Harry could sense the magic radiating from each lock. Moraine, who was only a student of the art, was only scarcely able to detect strong and simple spells, these magic locks were as meaningless to her as sheet music to a Labrador. \n\nWhen they were more than half way down the hall they heard voices. It was a faint sound, coming from far up the stairs, but the voices were undoubtedly coming closer. \n\nThere was nowhere to hide. Harry knew it was a waste to try opening the magic locks and as for running back to his room, that was suicide. Harry waved his wand at Moraine’s feet then his own. Hand in hand they ran to the stairs there footsteps were silent, instead of up, he led her down to the lowest and final level.\n\nThey waited at the bottom. Harry’s wand at the ready, and Moraine’s hand on the hilt of her sword. \n\n“That was quick thinking with the foot spell,” Moraine whispered.\n\n“I should have thought to it sooner anyway.” Harry chided himself.\n\n“She’ll be in there then,” It was a voice from above, “She’ll be in there with him. In his bed no doubt. To hell with it. I’ll kill them both and marry the sister.” It was Lord Rathbone. \n\nWhen Moraine was small her father had been a strong man. A seven foot giant who fought with a hammer and his fists more often than with a sword. Yet, he was gentle with her and her siblings. He was kind too, often he would pick up his children and toss them high in the air with one hand, only to catch them gently in both arms as they squealed with delight, their small giggles mixing with his booming laugh. It all changed when the king grew sick with the plague last winter. His booming laughter turned to booming fits of coughing, echoing throughout the castle for nights on end. Even the Grand Mage could not heal the king and the whole kingdom feared that Moraine’s brother Edward would become king before he was of age. The king recovered, but only as a shadow of what he once had been. Lord Rathbone, sailed in from the Star Island not a day after the king first lay in bed rest. An entire fortnight Rathbone had sat on a pine stool in front of the throne to do the kings business and when Moraine’s father returned to his great seat, Rathbone was all too happy to stand by his side and give him counsel. The king was never the same from that day forth and when Rathbone asked for Moraine’s hand in marriage the king agreed without even speaking to the queen or Moraine herself. \n\n“You will have your bride my little lord, by season’s end if not sooner, I swear it.” This voice was harsher than Lord Rathbone’s and it filled Moraine’s heart with ice. The thing was not human. Moraine knew not what it was but no human could speak in this way. Confusion and terror played on Harry’s face but only for a moment before he set his jaw in grim determination. \n\nHarry could hear Lord Rathbone’s footsteps as he walked away from the stairs. There was only one set of footsteps but Harry was nothing thinking about that. Magic, any kind of magic leaves a trace and any Magic user, especially any good magic user, would be sure to sense the spell Harry had only just cast on their feet. If that voice was a magic user and if that user was paying attention, it would be sure to notice Harry’s spell. Harry silently prayed to the gods that the Grand Mage’s locks be enough to distract whatever it was upstairs. \n\nWhen Rathbone’s footsteps had drawn away from the stairs, Harry squeezed Moraine’s hand and led her up. Neither one dared even to breath as the crept up in darkness. From the stairs, they could just make out a single figure standing in front of Harry’s door. There was no mistaking that tall thin profile. Harry and Moraine watches as Rathbone reached out a hand extending only a single long and boney finger to the door. \n\nWith a deafening BANG the oak door exploded. Together Harry and Moraine gasped in fear. Rathbone’s head snapped around and they could see his eyes. Two vibrant yellow orbs in the center of Rathbone’s face stared into Harry’s soul. \n\nHarry raised his wand but Rathbone was quicker. Rathbone drew a wand of his own and sent a bolt of yellow lightning directly at Moraine. Blue fire flared from Harry’s wand tip, it spread out in a wall cutting off the corridor from the stairs. \n\nLightning met flame with a crack. The blue wall of fire fizzled out but the job was done well and the lightning never reached Moraine. \n\n*more in comment*\n" ]	[ 1, 9 ]	[ "1507486403", "1507507891" ]
[removed]	[WP] A man learns The Truth: all women's bathrooms are portals to the main universe populated entirely by women and can be activated by two women entering together which is why women go to the bathroom in pairs.	0	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nWhile it doesn't seem to be your intent, the mods reserve the right to remove anything we feel may become harmful to the community. This includes prompts likely to generate such responses. \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/755fdy/wp_a_man_learns_the_truth_all_womens_bathrooms/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1507507585", "1507509158" ]
	[WP] Its been several trillion years since humanity left its home. You, captain of the HMSS Bastion, stands as the last matter left in the universe. Today your batteries die. Today humanity dies with the universe.	61	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "“There’s bound to be some in here.” This was the fifth storage bay I’d searched and numbers I-IV hadn’t contained my desired bounty, all things considered though I had a good feeling about V. The Bastion had allotted finite cabin space for all pilgrims and for the most part your entire life fit neatly into your assigned quarters. As with all things however, a couple thousand credits could persuade some of the more morally-aloof cargo staff to massage the rulebook and “find space;” bay V was reportedly where the Academy prefects had stashed their treasures and trinkets. \nI ended up having to pry open the door; the ships ion generators began their slow death nearly 500 years ago and by now all remaining power was devoted to life-support functions on the bridge. The frame offered a low groan in protest but a little elbow grease helped me push it beyond its lock-point, I left my pry bar to prop things open lest the mechanics fail while I was inside.\n\nThe interior of the bay was dark as all hell and per usual my helmet lights refused to turn on. A few knocks to the side of the housing eventually roused one of the beams to action; my gear, as with all things aboard the Bastion, was in a perpetual state of disrepair. The middle of the room was occupied by a sagging conveyor belt walkway that ran the length of the bay, on either side it was flanked by alloy boxes stacked into storage complexes ten stories high. In better days the withdrawal system was handled by the ship’s artificial gravity and magnetic wizardry, now I’d have to climb the stack and manually retrieve the units I wanted. \n\nI made my way over to the organic storage section, then to agricultural artifacts, then to organic, agricultural artifacts beginning in ‘C.’ The manifest displays at the head of each row had gone out decades ago but mercifully ghosted their text into the now-dead screens, a likely side effect from being always-on for over a century. According to the manifest I was looking for a ‘Box C.09.0027,’ as luck would have it the damn thing was perched ten meters up, I powered down my mag boots and began the slow float upwards. \n\nAs per my luck the box would not budge without considerable coaxing, when that didn’t work a couple of persuasive kicks helped dislodge it from the cabinet and one last one pushed it down towards the floor. I listened for the tap it made when it touched the ground before I made my way back down. Surprisingly enough the box opened without any fuss, I allowed myself a moment to mentally reprimand the lax privacy measures. \nThe inside was half filled; stacks of flora from Chitarra-09, a preserved Cq’oloy from Centaur-Nessus, schematics for something called a “cat.” Eventually I found my prize in a hard-case vacuum pack stuffed flush with the lower right corner. The package was maybe the length of my forearm and almost suspiciously light, I clipped it to my suit and started on back towards the door. \n\nTruth be told, the walkway connecting the storage bay to the bridge was one of my favorite places on the Bastion. Parallel rails ran the length of the hall and a mechanized barge once used to ferry cargo to and fro rested at the far end, the rightmost wall was a floor-to-ceiling hard light observation panel that looked out from the belly of the ship. In the past I spent hours staring out at the speckled ocean of stars beyond the window.\n\nThe wall dissipated when the power died and now only vacuous light filled the corridor. I tethered myself to a handrail and spent some time fumbling with my suit electronics, in the end I traded 4 minutes of fresh air for 150 seconds of power to my mag boots. With that, I flipped on my sun shade and started down the length of the hall. \n\nThe Bastion had been anchored above Crito-066 for nearly a millennia and I could recite all the constellations and planets that neighbored her by heart. I paused to steal a glance at the Cebren cluster; my mother used to tell me stories about Asterope and Aesacus, lovers whose incendiary heartbreak made their stars burn hard and bright. By now, the blackness had eaten Aesacus’s light and I stayed for a little while to watch Asterope suffocate and fizzle before she too disappeared from my sight. \n\nThe bridge doors were the last functioning pair on the entire ship, in better days they actuated smoothly along their rails and greeted passers-through with a cheerful, electronic chirp. The motion sensor has been broken for nearly a century and now the doors bounce off of one another a handful of times before settling at a complete seal. I’ve since developed the habit of counting to thirty before I even think about taking off my helmet. The forward window was a smooth crystal hemisphere covered by an anti-radiation field, I shuttered it twenty years ago with a half foot of lead shielding and rerouted the electricity powering from the field to keep the cabin lights and more importantly, the greenhouse on.\n\nThe bridge was also home to our shipboard A.I.; Kalindra-063 was designed by my grandfather almost 1200 years ago. At first she was relegated to basic ancillary functions like plotting courses, calculating probabilities and running simulations but subsequent software updates really brought her to life. By the time I was born she had become whip smart, funny even, and always one step ahead of even our most brilliant engineers. HER logic cores were deactivated twenty years ago to divert power to the air filtration and artificial gravity routines.\n\nStill, under the circumstances I felt it was time to wake her from her, she’d been with the Bastion for over a millennia and it didn’t seem right for her not to have a front-row seat to the end. I strolled over to the captain’s terminal and launched into the ship’s basenet, as expected failsafe protocols attempted to strong-arm me at every turn but eventually I got the overrides that I wanted. Startup usually took anywhere from 60-90 seconds but given the decades of neglect I assumed I’d probably have around three minutes before I have to make conversation gave me just enough time to get started on my storage-treasure. \n\nI turned my attention back to the package I’d retrieved from bay V, usually vacu-paks had a button or seal you could pop and they automatically unfold the rest of the way but this one in particular had none of that; I inspected it a bit longer before grabbing a knife from the kitchenette and going to town. As light and thin as the pack seemed, the exterior was surprisingly resistant to cuts. That said, our species is nothing if not adaptable and a couple of long, arcing, overhead stabs eventually split the bag open. The contents, of course, exploded in every which way around the cabin. \n\nTo tell you the truth, the plant inside didn’t look anything like I’d imagined it to be. As a child I was taught that our homeworld was covered in bountiful greenery with green being the operative word, the plants we grew on the Bastion only served to further support this conclusion. This…”crop” however was small and brown, slightly oblong and most importantly smelled like nothing I’d ever known to come from “nature.” Still, I figured there was no harm in trying at this point and so I knelt down to gather what had scattered on the floor.", "Since first one was a bit off-topic, I felt like I need to get one on topic. I had genius idea generated while going home. Inspired thanks to the /u/ThisCakedoesntlie and /u/YummyGummyDrops ! I hope this story matters to them!\n\n----\n\nAs a last of humanity, I saw how the battery was reaching zero in a few moments. I am John, captain of the HMSS Bastion and this is the last matter left in the universe. As I watch outside of our spaceship window, I can see hazily, how there is endless darkness. What used to be countless stars was now simply endless dark space.\n\n\nHe heard how battery signal started beeping while reaching closer to zero. Suddenly it hit it and he heard how everything was shut down.\n\nHe could feel how everything started to go cold. Suddenly he felt it, breathing became harder. He tried to take more and deeper breath, but suddenly he couldn't breathe in anymore. He grabbed his throat, as he tried to breath in. He couldn't. He heard how someone was trying to tell him something via radio, but he couldn't make out of words, as he was only trying to take a breath he couldn't.\n\nSuddenly he felt how someone put his hand on his shoulder, as he opened eyes, he saw dad in front of him. He tried to breathe in quickly and it finally worked without any problems. He couldn't breathe with his nose though, as it was full of fluid...\n\n\"John, jeez, you scared me for a moment!\" he said, wiping some sweat off of his forehead and putting a thermometer under his clothing.\n\n\"Dad.... I had a horrible dream,\" John started.\n\n\"No shit,\" dad stated and looked John into his eyes.\n\n\"I was the only matter left in the universe, and then the battery run out of charge and then I ran out of the air and I couldn't breathe. I was suffocating dad!!\" explained John quickly without taking any breathe in between the telling.\n\n\"John... John! You know,\" started dad, to calm him down, \"it is impossible that you or anyone else would be the only matter left in the universe!\"\n\n\"How do you know that?\"\n\n\"Because, humanity, we all matter!\"\n\nSon looked at his dad for a short while. \"Are you serious dad? I saw a horrible dream, this is the perfect moment for you to look like an awesome dad and instead you make an awful pun?\"\n\n\"Now, now son!\" said dad, calming the John down again and taking the thermometer back under the clothing. He continued, \"You know what really matters, John? Your fever has gone down. You should take a breather...\"\n\nJohn looked at his dad again, as he had said something awful to him. He lifted his finger up and showed it towards the door as a sign.\n\n\"Hahaha, John, you know. It never hurts once in a while to charge your batteries, you know?\"\n\nJohn started searching something to throw at his dad.\n\n\"Okay, I'll show myself out!\" dad left quickly with a huge smile on his face.\n\n\"Unbelievable...\" said John while having also huge smile on his face. He knew that his family indeed did matter to him.", "“Primary power banks critically low. Atmospheric biomanufacturing critical. Solar collection arrays malfunctioning. Engine drive systems critical. Nuclear fusion backup systems offline. Attention required. Alerts repeating. Pri-\"\n\nI clicked off the alert system. It was wonderful to hear human speech again, but it was a waste of power. My companions died months ago. Nothing killed them, but it's remarkably difficult to convince people to strive when you only have the end of the universe to watch.\n\nSo, in an effort to remain alive, I positioned the HMSS Bastion in a close orbit around the dead remains of a black hole. Remarkably the radiation escaping the event horizon provided a miniscule gain in my power cells, but even that wasn't enough to keep power forever.\n\nI closed the monitor systems. Two hours remained in the energy banks. Enough to do the only thing we, as humans, could. Write down our stories. I stoically set the computer systems to kill power to all rooms, leaving only enough time for me to travel to the record room, in our medical bay.\n\nI clicked off the power and heard the air vents click off. If I didn't get moving, I would be floating my way through the ship. I walked through the door, closing the automatic airlock behind me.\n\nThe cargo bay was filled with massive stocks of food stores, but nothing else. I closed the doors. Thoughts of my companions found my mind. Games played in that very hold. Meals forced down our gullets, despite Carol's oblivious lack of culinary skill.\n\nI passed through the crew deck, where each of our rooms were housed. The decades of conversation flowed through my head. Good, bad, ugly, romantic, they all floated in the air like they were written on the walls. I closed the airlock and entered the medical bay.\n\nA few systems set up and I began the recording process. This would be the last human creation in our cold universe. A full digital recording of my mind. I sat back in the chair and felt a mild buzzing.\n\nThe first hour passed quickly, then we continued into the final hour. I swam in memories from the years before, when we weren't floating between hollow rocks for survival.\n\nLights flickered, and I felt the artificial gravity falter. I watched with mild interest as an IV bag floated off the counter and plopped into the sink. My scan system would reach my current mental state in moments, but I had no idea if the life support systems would survive that long.\n\nI closed my eyes, before the lights clicked off altogether. The screen near my head stated it was at 94%. The backup system for the scanner was powered enough to complete the scan, but that would be it.\n\nThe air vents were the next to go, slowly ticking away into silence, as the air in my vessel grew deathly silent. The soft whir of the scanner was the only sound left.\n\nThe gravity gave out next and I hastily tightened the belt I had jerry rigged to the scanner’s seat. I silently stared at the screen. 97% completed. It should be scanning recent memories. The ones of the final programming I had done for this venture.\n\nA chill passed through me. Echoing bangs and creaks filled the silence. Pressure compensation usually prepared the ship for containing an atmosphere’s worth of oxygen and other mixed gases, but not for when those same gases were allowed free reign.\n\n98% blinked on the screen. The temperature was dangerously low. I saw my breath floating into the darkness. At least this would be a calm way to end my story, I thought. No words, no violence, just a calm, quiet moment, as my last little light clicked off.\n\nThe buzzing got worse as the blue screen showed 99%. It was scanning my real time mind. I closed my eyes. The last thing I noticed was my lungs beginning to burn.\n\nThen I saw something strange.\n\nA white room. I bolted up. A blue sheet fell off me. The room was lit from the window. A real sun lit a planet outside. I slowly stood and walked towards the foreign object.\n\n“You-are awakened?” a voice said in a strange, foreign sounding voice.\n\nI turned, and saw a gray skinned humanoid creature with large, curious eyes. It sat forward in a chair, a soft red cloak hanging off of it.\n\n“Y-yes,” my voice almost failed me, like I had never used it. That thought had only just hit me as the creature stood, lating what looked like a datapad.\n\n“You-are humanity. I am aleri. I am…” the creature paused as if trying hard how to say a word. “Doctor? I thought that is word.”\n\nI smiled politely and waited as it (I later found out it was a him,) stuttered through an explanation.\n\n“Aleri probes find your universe decades after your long-sleep. We found your recordings of yourselves, and have worked years to recreate your… physical binds? No… body. You are only first we found, as well. We found others.”\n\nMy heart skipped a beat, and an alarm blared. My doctor started to panic, until I got his attention.\n\n“May I see them?” I asked quietly.\n\nThe Alerian contorted his face in a way that I was eventually explained as an equivalent of our smiles. He led me down a few hallways into another medical bay and showed me a cluster of beds. Various members of my crew laid on their backs, all looking like they were asleep.\n\n“Sleeping sickness binds them until their minds may wake,” my alerian guide explained, “But alerians worry that we overstep. We have power to revive the race of you. But recordings are all of worries of deaths.”\n\nI looked at my host, and back at the faces of my friends, my crew. I tearfully told the alerian to revive anyone they could.\n\nOur universe had burned out, and left us cold among the rocks, but we survived to find a new one, in the stories, our selves, that we left in our rocks.", "\"Warning, battery critical, re...\" captain turned the volume down, as he had heard that sentence too many times. He knew that 1 percent was nothing, the problem was the timer what showed when it ran out of batteries. In recent few years, he had turned slowly part of the ship systems down to preserve batteries as much as possible, however, for a long time HMSS Bastion has been running literally only on life support systems. Of course, the ship has a method to create energy via sunlight, but the issue is that life system alone uses more energy than it manages to generate. While they managed to refill battery few times, it still reached zero point at some points.\n\nIt is actually a huge secret, that today is likely the last day when humanity lives. He had thought several options, how to ease the pain because dying because of lack of oxygen sounds very painful, but he simply cannot take on those counter-measures.\n\nIn past, possibly several million generations, humans have tried different methods to preserve life and continue living. They have made systems better, they have over and over again optimized a certain system, so sunlight would refill batteries at least as much as it spends. Then they lived through the war of the colonies, where colony ships went into war to steal other colony batteries, energy and other materials. Victorious colonies used destroyed colony ship materials to get better, as there are no other methods to get materials. After all those trillions of years, they still haven't found a planet, where they could land and make as a new home.\n\nBut even after surviving through all that, it is ever changing fact that materials get old, system start to burn out when time pass and things get slower. Solar panels do not produce that much energy anymore and systems require more energy, so it could maintain slow running systems.\n\nIt wasn't that long time ago when he had visited the last planet, their last hope. It was literally last chance, as there won't be enough battery, fuel, energy to check out next ones. Yet that planet was uninhabitable. Thus they are still drifting towards next hope. At least that is what people think. It is true, they do drift there, but there is no way they will make it there. They used last energies to push towards next planet, to really drift there. For their surprise, it would take only around 10 years to make it to the next planet. Not long time ago, that 10 years was nothing, but now it sounds like forever.\n\nCaptain finally takes up his microphone, to say something to the crew, even though most of them spent last moments with their family.\n\n\"The captain is speaking...\" he starts, as there is no response. He knows, however, that many have stopped their doings to listen to this last message.\n\n\"We have a little bit of energy we would need to do planet landing. However, as we decided, we cannot use that energy to float a little bit more.\"\n\nActually, he had discussed this with the council, that maybe they should use all the remaining battery to win extra few hours or so, to give people last moment to talk with their families and such. Ultimately it was decided not to. Maybe there is tiny hope that this thing will make it to the next planet and even after they are dead, there is another human ship they do not know of, who makes it there too and needs that tiny bit of energy to make a landing. For them, it doesn't matter, if they get extra few hours or not. They are gonna die either way.\n\n\"Thus, ship life support systems will be shut down in 10 minutes. After that, we will have only certain amount of time till we run out of the oxygen. We do not know how long it will take, but spend that time as you wish...\" he said into the mic, trying to not cry. \n\n\"I thank you all for your service!\" he added quickly, as he turned off the mic.\n\nOnly after 10 minutes, when huge red marker started blinking, he pushed a button and heard the loud yet quiet sound of something stopping. Only those who paid attention might have noticed that.\n\nHe looked at different screens, where literally every system except the solar panels was offline. That solar panel now supported few last remaining system. Mostly those screens to collect data and lightning. They took literally very little energy. He was even a bit surprised that there is actually quite a lot of energy what is being collected as extra. Of course not even close enough for other big systems, but enough for possibly some smaller extra stuff.\n\nCaptain himself had already decided how he is gonna spend his lasts moments. He stood up and went to his living quarters. He took off his clothes and entered the bed. After stretching for a while, he took in a strong sleeping pill and turned to a side. \"Ah, I wish I could see the next planet...\" he always took all those things for granted, but it was first-time wish and dream he wanted to really happen and thought of not seeying it saddened him. Then he fell asleep.\n\n\n-----\n\nAs captain changed sides, he slowly opened his eyes. It was truly weird sleep he had. He looked ceiling and suddenly his eyes opened wide. He remembered everything and that he should be dead. He looked quickly time. 36 hours had passed since he went to sleep. Pills were strong after all. According to data, he should be dead already.\n\nHe quickly stands up, puts his captain clothes on and looks his small console on the hand.\n\n\"You have 35 messages,\" says the console. He exits the room and starts walking towards captain quarters. On the way, one of his crew member stops him.\n\n\"Captain, so you used last bit of the battery after all?\" he asked. \"I know you ignored council orders, but I still thank you for it!\"\n\nCaptain, however, did not tell him that he did not ignore orders. As he entered captain quarters, he quickly said: \"Show me the oxygen levels starting from 36 hours ago!\"\n\nHis main screen showed all oxygen statistics. Life support systems had generated 0 percent oxygen. Oxygen levels have also dropped significantly to 78 percent. At that point, whenever it ticked to 77 percent, it soon went back to 78.\n\n\"What the fuck?\" he didn't understand.\n\n\"Show me oxygen levels by the rooms!\" he looked at the rooms, where average oxygen level was 70 everywhere, except few rooms.\n\nHe started smiling and that smile turned into a laugh. Of course, why didn't he think of that before? All the rooms where their food plants grow had oxygen level 98 percent and they had a shitton of those rooms. They had even trees. He realized, that humanity had been drifting for too long in the space, that they had forgotten the basic earth knowledge. There is more than one method to create oxygen, besides life support system that is.\n\n---\n\nEdit: Made some fixes :)\n\nPS: You should read below another entry what I made!" ]	[ 1, 2, 3, 4, 16 ]	[ "1507547518", "1507624552", "1507565256", "1507592630", "1507552865" ]
	[WP] When you black out, instead of forgetting what happened the night before, you forget a random skill. Today you realize you’ve forgotten how to walk down stairs.	7	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "I peered down at the wooden stairs, searching my mind for how exactly to traverse down them. I lifted my foot over the stairs, and quickly retreated it back to the ground above. Something that seemed so simple before became so difficult. I put my hand to my chin and said, \"Hmmm... Well, this sure is a pickle.\"\n\nI got an idea. I slowly eased myself down onto the floor, sitting at the top of the stairs. \"Okay, this may hurt, but at least it's something,\" I muttered. Step by step, I scooted myself down, uttering small noises of discomfort as my behind hit each hard step. I finally got to the bottom of the stairs, and hoisted myself back into a standing position. \"Well, I'm glad that's done.\"\n\nI walked toward the door, and then stopped, turning to look at the stairs for a moment.\n\n\"Well, shit.\"" ]	[ 1, 6 ]	[ "1507663141", "1507665307" ]
[removed]	[WP] The year is 2132. You're in tenth grade and you have to write a paper on the daily internet life of an early 21st century man (or woman) for your history class. For that, you have quick and easy access to any data you want (web history, comments, social media accounts, etc).	1	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "Hi there, this post has been removed.\n\nHomework assignments are not allowed. Use /r/HomeworkHelp instead. \n\n\n\n---\n\nPlease refer to the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/about/sidebar) before posting. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send us a [modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts&subject=Removed%20post&message=https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/75k5wx/wp_the_year_is_2132_youre_in_tenth_grade_and_you/%0A%0A)\n\nThis action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things." ]	[ 1, 1 ]	[ "1507669594", "1507670025" ]
	[WP] You're a soldier who's always dreamed of fighting for his country, but once you're deployed to the front lines, you find out you have a peculiar ability: every man you kill has the ability to speak to you for five minutes after their death.	230	[ "Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.\n\n#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:\n* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.\n\n* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.\n\n---\n\n[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic)\n[](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide)\n[](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements)\n[](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatrooms)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)\n", "They curse me, they condemn me, and they beg me to spare their loved ones. The telepathic network that these Old Worlders have has a major advatnage - they resonate within that network even after death and for a short while it allows them to communicate with each other. It is how they are able to counter attack our forces even when we start a devastating offensive. I can understand why this front was so stagnant for this whole while.\n\nThey call me the thankless son. I have roots in the Old World but I am fundamentally different. I was made to be the ultimate weapon to counteract their peculiar combat tactics. Still, it feels almost as if they knew who I am and everything about me. They beg me to stop, saying the world is at stake. They pray to their god that I could be struck down by her hand while others pray that we never meet. I have overheard their prophecy. They believe that their spiritual leader is capable of bringing about complete victory for their cause. They also believe that this victory can only be achieved if she and I do not meet. They curse me for what I do, but they mostly fear me for what they believe I could do. I know not about their prophecies' weight, but it amuses me to overhear the chatter of their minds in their last moments and shortly after. Old Worlders do not fear death like we do. They fear the fate worse than death.\n\nAs for myself, I have a duty for my country. I have a purpose that is entirely my own. I do not have a care for their prophecies nor for the judging looks of my comrades. They call me inhuman for what I can do, yet they also state that they are glad that I am here to do the fighting for them. They do not stop me when I go on a rampage, and it isn't just because they are completely unable to stop me. I think they also understand that murder has been my purpose on this earth. I have found my medium and I am performing the art of which I am a master. I give the final orders to the lieutenants and put on the helmet. It muffles the sound of the voices and allows me to concentrate. It even plays music. Sometimes I pick a random track.\n\n\nOther times, the cries of my victims are all the music I need", "\"You're a terrible person.\" The last words he would ever speak. His true last words. His death had been quick, too fast to gasp out any words. The ones he had spoken to me, after his death, with hate and intent to hurt. All I had deserved... I had killed him.\n\nI had made the mistake of apologizing, otherwise he wouldn't have realized I could even hear him. The raw truth I had heard while I tried to stay stolid had broken me down. I couldn't simply pin them down as a faceless person, and wish them away. I had been told that these men were savages. We were doing the world a favor by removing these men. All this coming from men who had never taken a life, or fought in the way that \n\nMaybe, the rumors were true, I was going insane. I felt as if I were. Trying to shield myself from the tragedy made me callous, but inside shards of glass stabbed. Trying to ask for forgiveness from those people was absurd, but my soul cried out for me to try, even with what I knew. So I tried. Every time, each in a different way. I never was actually able to ask. It would be futile anyways, it would simply devalue their life. The supposed value of my own life keeping me alive.\n\nA month in I only had a thread of life left. A selfish want overtaking everything; to stay bound to this earth. It was a women that finally broke me. It had to be a civilian. She wasn't even trying to kill anyone. She was just caught in the cross hairs. I couldn't continue, so I retired. Laying on the ground, gunshots rung out. But I could hear each word she said. They weren't of hate, but simply asking a question, \"why.\" I didn't have an answer. And then she said a single sentence. One of forgiveness.\n\nIt took the rest of the day to actually do it. Then I was there. Standing in front of a crowd. Each face ghastly and broken, the people who had killed me. The wounds I had inflicted, each break in my mind. I knew their name, their children, that would miss them, and their most regretted secrets. Their words had made sure of that. I had words to say, but nothing would be enough to match their's. They had made sure that their words would haunt me.\n\n", "I watched the man bleed out. Nobody could survive losing that much blood. I took a deep breath, and turned towards the hallway, intending to go find what was left of my squad.\n\n\"Wait\"\n\nI spun around, and drilled three more rounds into the man. Nailing him twice in the chest, and once in the pelvis. Failure to stop drill. That was... unnerving. I realized I was holding my breath, my ears were ringing. I could hear the amplified ear piercing pops of 5.56 being fired indoors, coming from elsewhere in the building. I released the breath, and turned to leave.\n\n\"Wait\"\n\n I spun around again, and did a mag dump into the man's body. My Senior Lance Corporal's had told me about Hadji's playing dead, and throwing Grenades at you, the second you had your back turned. That wasn't happening to Eugina King's only son, no sir.\n\nI walked over to the man, after doing a speedy mag change, and kicked the dead man in the ribs. The Man's head turned towards me. My finger twitched into the trigger guard, and I put a hole in his forehead. My ears were ringing even worse. But the man just looked at me.\n\n\"I think you have killed me\" the Man said not only in English, but very matter of factly, as if the brains on the floor under his head, and the bloody dishdasha didn't give that away. \"Thanks Dick\"\n\nI didn't know what to do here, shooting the man only made my ears ring, but he didn't seem to be .....well... Dead.\n\n\"You shot at me first\" I said back defensively \"if you hadn't, I would have just kept Patroling to the school.\"\n\n\"Sh-shot at you first?\" He said incredulously \"you invaded my Country, you little shit!\"\n\n\"I did not!\" I shouted, and than realized, I was getting into an argument with someone who should be dead. I lowered my voice\n\n \"look, the invasion happened years ago\" I made it a point to look the bloodied man in the eyes \"and why did that invasion happen?\"\n\n\"Because......\" the bloodied man made a small disgruntled sigh \"Well.... we did that for a very good reason......\"\n\n\"That's what I thought\" I looked smug \"you guys are the assholes\"\n\nThe man did not respond. I thought he was trying to come up with something to say, but he looked..... deader..... Than he had a minute ago.\n\n\"King\" \n\nMy name made me jump put of my skin. I was spinning around, about to bring mt rifle up, when I realized it was Corporal Granawitski.\n\n\"The fuck you doin in here, brother?\" He asked. \"You talkin' to that dead Hadji?\"\n\n\"Yes, I was Corporal\" I said honestly \"I'm not sure if he is dead, he has a lot of things to say\n\nCorporal 'Ski, silently looked at me. He looked like he was mulling something over. Finally he gave a short nod, more to himself than to me, as he finished his internal debate.\n\n\"Hey brother\" he said, sounding more like a big Brother, than the hard ass Infantry Corporal he was. \"Let me see your rifle\n\nHe held out his hand. I looked down at my rifle, than at the Corporal's outstretched hand. I looked up at the Corporal, he nodded encouragingly, I handed over my Rifle.\n\n\"Hey, let's get out of this dump and get some fresh air\n\nA week later, I was riding a C-17 back to the states. I ended up on the Fourth floor of the Camp Pendleton Naval Hospital. Everyone thinks I am crazy. I'm not. I swear.", "The day has finally arrived. Hopefully, this will be my first fire-fight. We got intel yesterday of a group was rallying at the northern bridge. I guess the higher ups are worried they're going to make a push our direction. We've been sent north to hold them back.\n\nAfter all the training I've been through, this is the moment I've been waiting for. I just hope I make my folks proud. Only reason I joined was to contribute to the war effort. So many people my age just wanted to go to college or have kids and a family. I wanted to get back at the fuckers who thought they could mess with the best.\n\n\"Charlie, what's your ETA?\" the voice over the comms said.\n\nSergeant Reeves answered back. We were almost to the bridge. \n\nI'm not sure if the vibration on the truck was helping my nerves or if it was making it worse. One moment, I've got butterflies out of fear and the next, out of joy. It's really a strange feeling. Dreadful optimism maybe?\n\nThat's when the explosion went off. \n\nApparently, these ass-hats had decided too put some IED's in the roadway knowing we'd make a push. And we fell right into it. After what seemed like ages, my hearing started to come back to mee. \n\n\"Sailors! Anderson! Michaels! Sound off!\" our Sergeant Reeves called out.\n\nFinally able to move and catch my breath, I shout, \"Anderson here! Over here sergeant.\"\n\nA few moments later, I see Sergeant Reeves crawling over to me. \"Looks like we're all that's left Anderson. You hurt?\"\n\nNot feeling much pain other than some stiffness, \"Nah sergeant, I think I'm good. The sure was fucking loud though.\"\n\n\"Yeah, you get used to it. Ain't my first rodeo son. Now keep low and follow me. They know we're here so stay behind the truck. The fuel ain't caught yet but it won't be long and we'll have another explosion on our hands.\" With that, we began to inch our way from the wreckage.\n\nAfter a few hours and a number of close calls, we managed to get down in a ditch that still had a line of sight toward the enemy. Of course, this meant that if could see them, they could probably see us. Maybe six or seven hundred yards out. \n\n\"Anderson, take this stick, put your headgear on it, and raise it up. Let's see if they've know we're here.\" Sergeant Reeves said as he hands me a piece of wood. \"Don't hold it up for too long. I just want to see if they're watching our location.\"\n\nSo I do as he asks and take my headgear, put it on the stick and hold it up for about ten seconds....\n\nNothing. \"If they had been watching this way, they probably would have taken a shot,\" said Sergeant Reeves. \"Alright, I'm gonna poke my head out for a second to see for myself.....\" He went quiet for a moment. \"Well, here goes nothing.\"\n\nSergeant Reeves slowly poked his head out from the edge of the ditch toward the enemy position and slowly lowered back down.\n\n\"Ok Anderson, those guys seem to be celebrating. I don't think they even know we're alive right now. How lucky are we?\"\n\nI guess he was right. Surviving an IED blast and not being spotted by the enemy as we made our escape was lucky but it sure as fuck didn't feel like it. \n\n\"Sergeant, what are we gonna do? We don't have any comms, we're out in the open, and we've only got one rifle and,\" I checked to see how many magazines I had. \"Four magazines on me. How many do you go Sergeant?\"\n\n\"I've got two. I think I lost the others back at the truck. Shit, I told the platoon leader we shouldn't have went down the main road fucking educated prick.\"\n\nI suddenly got angry at him, \"Sergeant! Now is not the time to be playing the blame game. We need to get our asses out of here.\"\n\nSergeant Reeves stared blankly at me for a few moments. \"Yeah, you're right. Set up a prone position. There's only a few. Maybe we can take them out cause I don't know what else to do. If we get up, they'll see us for sure and we might as well have died back there,\" he said pointing at the now smoldering wreck.\n\n\"Hoo-ah Sergeant.\" And with that I got set up to take these guyss out.....\n\n\"Alright, I'll be your spotter. You just focus on hitting these guys. Rooftop, south end facing north. See em?\"\n\n\"Roger.\" I focused my sights and prepared to fire. The sound of my rifle rang out across the valley. \n\nAnd suddenly in my head I hear, \"WHAT THE FUCK?!!!?!?!?! Fuck that, my head... what the fuck. Oh shit, oh shit. No, that's me. But how? I'm....no. No this can't be, no, not now. Oh what the fuck. I was just trying to sleep. What the fuck?\"\n\nMy bullet had hit the guy in the back of the head. I never got much better than marksman at the range so I guess luck was on my side. But this voice, I'd never heard before. At least the fucker was dead.\n\n\"I gathered that much shit head now who is talking to me? You killed me.\" the voice continued to speak irately before finally disappearing. What was that?\n\nThe enemy troops had now gotten into their defensive positions but once we saw them running around, there was only five more guys in that small building.\n\nWhispering now, Sergeant Reeves said, \"Good job Anderson. Now we've got their attention but it doesn't look like they know where we're at yet. Let's wait a while before we make our next move.\n\nSo we waited....\n\nAnd waited...\n\nAnd waited until nightfall. \n\nIt was near pitch black outside. If not for the lights inside the building, we would have been completely lost. During our time waiting, Sergeant Reeves and I spoke about different things and played some cards. Sergeant Reeves apparently used one of his ammo pouches for playing cards and smokes instead of magazines. But thank god he did cause even though I didn't normally smoke, it sure was good. \n\n\"Ok Anderson, I think I've come up with a plan but we need to get closer to the building. I haven't seen a single person pass in front of that window so I don't think they've got a patrol set up. Let's move.\"\n\nAnd away we went. At first we crawled toward the building but after a few, we figured it was safe enough to walk. Slowly we made our way to the building. And I be damned if we didn't have luck on our side!\n\n\"They're all asleep!?\" I whispered.\n\nSergeant Reeves nodded. Pointing down to his hands, he was holding two grenades. He then motioned as if pulling the pins and tossing them inside. He then mimicked running away. I nodded in agreement. \n\nHe handed me one of the grenades and motioned on three.\n\nOne...two...three...\n\nAnd we tossed both grenades in and run like mad away from the building. Suddenly, a chorus of voices enter my head.\n\n\"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???\" was all that I understood before a cacophony of voices all garbled together started talking. \n\n\"Shut the fuck up.\" I thought to myself and the voices went silent. \n\nI paused.\n\nAgain I thought to myself, \"Those guys are dead right?\"\n\nSuddenly, one of the voices speaks up, \"I guess so but who are you?\"\n\n\"The enemy...\" I thought to myself. Am I really talking to the dead?\n\n\"I told you that someone survived. And what about Usef? Up on the roof? You said it was suicide but he was murdered!\"\n\nA different voice chimed in, \"He...said he missed his family...I just assumed....\n\nI interrupted, \"You murdered us too assholes. My whole fucking platoon is gone now.\"\n\nA softer voice spoke out, \"And we have paid for our sins for we shall now have eternal glory. The Duck God is the one true God. You people and your Rabbit God. I spit on his name.\"\n\nAnd after a few more minutes of useless banter, the voice slowly faded. \n\nSoon after, I left the service of the Holy Rabbit God Army and became a teacher but I'll never forget those day on the front lines during the Holy Wars. " ]	[ 1, 6, 7, 7, 64 ]	[ "1507676515", "1507696423", "1507694072", "1507706794", "1507693560" ]

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