diff --git "a/clean_comedy_gold_en.csv" "b/clean_comedy_gold_en.csv"
new file mode 100644--- /dev/null
+++ "b/clean_comedy_gold_en.csv"
@@ -0,0 +1,1001 @@
+text;score;score1;score2;score3;score4;score5
+How do Frenchmen share files? Pierre to Pierre.;5.0;5;5;5;5;5
+After Luke Skywalker found out Princess Leia was his sister. He became best friends with hand solo;4.6;5;4;5;5;4
+Why do petri dishes make good conversationalists? They're cultured.;4.6;5;5;3;5;5
+I call my girlfriend Dumbledore. She's a head master;4.6;5;5;4;5;4
+What do you call a Corvette following a Camaro at high speeds? Chevy Chase.;4.4;5;4;5;4;4
+It was a sad day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe. Not even remotely;4.2;3;4;4;5;5
+My favorite workout is a mix between a lunge and a crunch, I call it lunch.;4.2;4;4;5;3;5
+i've been on so many blind dates, i should get a free dog .;4.2;5;4;2;5;5
+I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters. It's shift work;4.2;4;3;5;4;5
+What do you call a priest that's also a lawyer? A father in law;4.2;5;3;4;5;4
+love it how music can take you to another place. for example , one direction is playing in this restaurant so i'm going to a different one;4.0;5;2;5;4;4
+There was a massive explosion at a French cheese factory this morning. All that remains is de brie;4.0;5;4;5;3;3
+My last girlfriend left me for being unnecessarily mysterious. or did she;4.0;5;5;3;3;4
+what is similar between Pink Floyd and Princess Diana Their greatest hits were the wall;4.0;4;5;1;5;5
+What was eating away at the computer's RAM storage? I don't know, but it was going at it one byte at a time.;4.0;3;5;3;5;4
+Abortion isnt murder It's just canceling a preorder;4.0;5;5;5;2;3
+i just got hired as a garbage truck driver. there was no training , but i think i'll pick it up as i go along;4.0;4;5;4;3;4
+what did one window say to the other window? i'm in pane;4.0;4;5;5;2;4
+Why did Shrodinger's girlfriend dump him? Because she didn't like his lack of commitment;4.0;4;3;5;4;4
+my therapist claims i'm a narcissist , but what does he know? clearly not as much as me .;4.0;3;4;5;4;4
+Ruth and Johnny, side by side, went out for an auto ride. They hit a bump, Ruth hit a tree, Johnny kept going Ruthlessly;3.8;3;5;1;5;5
+what's the difference between a hipster and a lumberjack? the lumberjack has a job .;3.8;5;3;4;4;3
+What do you call a snake that has been knighted? Sir Pent...;3.8;5;1;4;5;4
+what's the best thing from new york city? the train to boston;3.8;2;3;5;4;5
+I've just been to a concert starring the Bermuda philharmonic orchestra. Half way through, the guy on the triangle disappeared;3.8;5;3;4;5;2
+how do buddhist monks send emails? they remove all attachments .;3.8;5;2;3;4;5
+you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? he stayed up all night wondering whether or not there was a dog .;3.8;5;5;2;5;2
+"Has anyone told you how beautiful you are today? ""No."" Better luck tomorrow.";3.8;3;3;4;5;4
+"A flyer says to another flyer: ""Yo, wanna hang out tonight? "" The other one replies: ""Brochure!""";3.8;3;4;4;3;5
+What's the difference between an American and a moldy piece of bread? The bread has more culture.;3.8;2;5;5;2;5
+Relationship or hallucination. Either way, I'm seeing someone;3.8;4;3;5;4;3
+what do jehovah's witnesses believe in? that i will open the door;3.8;3;2;4;5;5
+what's the most common career choice among spiders? web development;3.8;4;5;2;3;5
+What do you call with a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky;3.8;5;3;3;3;5
+What do humans and desserts have in common? No one likes the very rich ones.;3.8;4;3;4;3;5
+It might take a village to raise a child. but it only takes a viking to raze a village;3.6;4;3;3;4;4
+If a band plays music in a thunderstorm who is most likely to get hit by lightning? The conductor.;3.6;4;5;2;4;3
+what kind of bird does not make babies? a swallow;3.6;5;4;5;1;3
+why should you never play poker with a crocodile? you will lose every hand .;3.6;4;5;3;4;2
+guys, check out this cool trick i learned . take your upper lip and make it touch your lower lip . now keep them like that .;3.6;3;4;5;5;1
+What did the receptionist at the Sperm Bank say as the patients were leaving? Thanks for coming.;3.6;5;1;4;4;4
+Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.;3.6;2;5;5;2;4
+I got a puppy for my daughter. Good swap if you ask me;3.6;4;1;4;4;5
+what's the best part of a pregnancy joke? the delivery .;3.6;3;3;5;4;3
+what the difference between australia and a glass of milk? leave the glass of milk alone long enough and it'll develop a culture .;3.6;5;3;4;2;4
+My friend was talking about how he sleeps when its dark around. So I'd advised him not to join the basketball team;3.6;4;3;2;4;5
+What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn't around? Holmeless;3.6;2;5;3;4;4
+Baby, I hope you are an ISO file cuz I wanna mount you.;3.6;5;4;2;3;4
+What classic game do Hawaiian kids like the most? The floor is lava.;3.6;4;3;4;5;2
+Why did the French chef quit working at the haunted restaurant? He got creped out.;3.6;4;4;3;2;5
+Not all that glitters is gold. Take, for instance, glitter;3.6;4;4;2;5;3
+If video games make children more violent... why do they keep losing fistfights against me? ;3.6;3;4;5;5;1
+teacher : where is your homework? pupil : i lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school;3.6;3;5;3;5;2
+What do you call the smallest Superman in the world? .. Quark Kent.;3.6;4;5;3;2;4
+waiter : these are the best eggs we've had for years. diner : well bring me some you haven't had around for that long;3.6;2;2;5;5;4
+how bad is the economy? twenty years ago we had johnny cash , bob hope and steve jobs . today we have no cash , no hope and no jobs .;3.6;3;3;5;3;4
+"i still use the word "" dude "" . i don't give a dude . i don't use it right, but i still dude it .";3.6;4;4;1;4;5
+Did you hear about the couple who got married in a gymnasium? It didn't work out.;3.6;4;4;5;3;2
+Did you hear the amusement park was offering free bungee jumping? No strings attached!;3.6;4;2;4;4;4
+did you hear about the constipated composer? he couldn't finish the last movement .;3.6;5;2;4;5;2
+a soldier is at the bar when his buddy walks in . the buddy , surprised to see him , asks threedots buddy : hey how did you escape iraq? soldier : iran .;3.6;4;5;5;2;2
+Christmas with the family While I greatly enjoy the presence of their company, I prefer the company of their presents.;3.6;3;3;5;3;4
+There's a new TV show on AMC about people who run away from grains and wheat. I hear they call it The Walking Bread;3.6;5;4;2;4;3
+What do you call a marathon runner that refuses to stop? A joggernaut.;3.6;3;2;4;4;5
+what does demi lovato and walmart have in common? they are always have lots of coke and are open twenty four hours a day seven days a week.;3.6;4;3;1;5;5
+The white bear and the penguin tried to make their relationship work, but they couldn't. They were polar opposites.;3.4;2;5;5;3;2
+what did the animal control officer ask the hawaiian dancer? hula the dogs out;3.4;4;2;4;2;5
+What does a cyclone, flood, fire and a woman have in common? Sooner or later one of em will get your house.... ;3.4;5;5;1;5;1
+What vegetables do plumbers hate the most? Leeks;3.4;5;2;5;3;2
+What did the court jester call the balding crown prince? The Heir Apparent with no Hair Apparent.;3.4;4;4;2;2;5
+"Eight bytes walk into a bar... Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, ""Can I get you anything? "" ""Yeah,"" reply the bytes. ""Make us a double.""";3.4;1;5;3;3;5
+"""He looks just like his grandfather"" is a cute thing said about a new baby in most parts of the world. In Alabama,it's more of an accusation";3.4;3;4;4;3;3
+JOB INTERVIEWER: so, what was your last job? DR. FRANKENSTEIN: bodybuilding;3.4;5;5;1;2;4
+A hurricane is going to hit the east coast? Are you Joaquin;3.4;2;4;3;5;3
+What do you call a company run entirely by ghosts? An incorporation.;3.4;3;3;5;2;4
+Loads of people are lining up to buy my vampire teeth. Fang queue;3.4;5;1;3;4;4
+What do you call a loaf of grumpy bread? Sourdough!;3.4;4;5;2;3;3
+what's in the middle of girls ' legs? their knee .;3.4;2;3;4;5;3
+The failure of my business confounds me. It just doesn't make cents;3.4;5;4;3;3;2
+"""Always give your food a rinse before you eat it, "" my dad always used to say. Lovely man. Made terrible sandwiches.";3.4;2;5;3;3;4
+"What's common between ""I love you"" and ""Made in China"" ? They both come with no warranty.";3.4;4;4;4;4;1
+Speech is like girls skirt. If it is too long, people don't take interest in it, if it's short, it will fail to cover the subject.;3.4;2;4;4;5;2
+What does a woman do outside the kitchen? Tourism;3.4;4;4;4;2;3
+i took my girlfriend to tour nasa this weekend! she said she needed some space .;3.4;5;3;3;2;4
+Did John Knott mind being the only cited author on his group's research paper? Knott, et al.;3.4;4;5;2;3;3
+How to attract R Kelly with a guitar ? B Minor;3.4;5;4;2;5;1
+Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette? He didn't have enough money tabaccer!;3.4;5;4;4;1;3
+I heard about a woman who doesn't use her feet. I really want to meter;3.4;1;5;1;5;5
+I was gonna go on a double date the other day. But in the end I couldn't find three other people to go with me;3.4;4;4;3;4;2
+People who live in Flint should drink gasoline. It's cheaper than the water and guaranteed unleaded;3.4;3;3;4;3;4
+"our team is doing so badly that "" manager of the month "" isn't an award. it's an appointment !";3.4;4;5;4;2;2
+my mom says i look just like my father. it's weird that she thinks that , because everyone else says i look like steve the mailman;3.4;3;5;4;2;3
+how do you tell the difference between an x and y chromosome? you pull down its genes .;3.4;2;5;1;5;4
+i wanted to be a gynecologist, but i couldn't find an opening .;3.4;4;3;2;5;3
+The word 'nothing' is a palindrome. 'Nothing' reversed is 'Gnihton' which also means nothing;3.4;3;2;4;5;3
+i never ask my kids to call me, i just change the netflix password and then don't respond to their texts .;3.4;1;3;5;5;3
+How do locomotives know where they're going? Lots of training.;3.4;3;1;5;5;3
+I turned in my letter of resignation to my smug supervisor at the refrigeration plant. He accepted it with his usual air of condensation;3.4;4;2;4;5;2
+mirrors don't lie. lucky for you , they can't laugh either;3.4;4;3;5;3;2
+i think i have procrastination disease. i'll go to the doctor later;3.4;4;5;3;4;1
+train tip: a few minutes before the train arrives at your destination , get up and crowd around the exit so you can wait faster .;3.4;5;1;4;2;5
+What were the French children doing in the pool? Piscine.;3.4;2;2;3;5;5
+honey , we should really think about becoming parents. i mean , we've already had the kids;3.4;2;4;2;4;5
+this guy in the elevator asked for my number so i wrote it on his arm. apparently he meant which floor , so that was awkward;3.4;3;3;4;3;4
+why did the kid put his clock in the oven. he wanted to have a hot time;3.4;4;2;5;3;3
+"science joke an ion walks into a bar , "" just you tonight , sir? "" "" no , i'm waiting on one more . """;3.4;3;3;2;5;4
+In comedy things don't age well Except for Michael Jackson jokes, much like his victims they never get old. ;3.4;5;5;4;2;1
+A ginger wanted to join the Jazz band. But he didn't have enough soul;3.4;2;4;3;5;3
+i went to a seafood disco once. And I pulled a mussel;3.4;4;2;4;5;2
+"Buy a ticket to Finding Dory and yell ""She's right there! "" every time she comes on the screen until you're escorted out of the theater.";3.4;3;3;5;1;5
+"Yeah I'm on a diet, I call it the ""seefood diet"" I'm pretty sure the mercury's affecting my spelling ";3.2;4;4;5;2;1
+The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat;3.2;2;4;1;5;4
+i've never dumped a girl. i always lay them peacefully in a field to be discovered by school children;3.2;2;5;2;4;3
+My favorite word is onomatopoeia. I just like how it sounds;3.2;2;5;2;4;3
+did you hear about the blind dog that never got lost? it really nose it's way around .;3.2;2;5;2;3;4
+me: ah, now I will drift gently off to dreamland. refrigerator: I SHALL MAKE US SOME ICE CUBES;3.2;2;5;3;3;3
+When pinguins fly, you are probably drowning.;3.2;5;2;2;5;2
+"A man walks into an Australian pet store, He asks the bloke behind the counter ""where do you keep the kangaroos mate? "" The bloke replies, ""outback.""";3.2;3;4;5;2;2
+"i always feel like i'm wasting a text message whenever i respond with just "" k. "" now i write "" potassium "" instead";3.2;4;2;2;3;5
+love is never having to say you're sorry. marriage is saying sorry especially when you're not;3.2;1;3;5;3;4
+why are divers always so nervous? because they're always under pressure !;3.2;5;2;3;1;5
+"yesterday , i got a fortune cookie that said: "" help ! i'm stuck in a cookie factory ! """;3.2;3;5;2;3;3
+why did the fire fighter call off work to spend time with his friend? because threedots bros before hose !;3.2;4;4;4;2;2
+What does an amoeba call its friend? Cell mate.;3.2;4;4;3;2;3
+I've never understood the whole 'burying people for fun at the beach'. The cops will just find the bodies when the tide comes;3.2;3;3;1;4;5
+warning: the consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing .;3.2;4;3;3;5;1
+It's really odd having to meet your girlfriend's father, but this time it was easy. I didn't even have to leave the house.;3.2;3;4;3;2;4
+I like my partners like I like my work. Nine to five;3.2;4;4;2;3;3
+what do you call chess players bragging in a hotel lobby? chess nuts boasting in an open foyer;3.2;5;3;5;1;2
+Who was the only novelist with both direction and magnitude? Vector Hugo.;3.2;2;4;2;5;3
+Great minds think alike. That's why we have so many opinions in America;3.2;3;5;2;3;3
+what is the biggest key when moving a piano up a flight of stairs? be sharp or be flat .;3.2;3;3;5;2;3
+Two termites go on a date.. Waiter: what would you like to order sir? Termite: Table for two.;3.2;3;3;4;2;4
+My chess strategy and comedy have something in common I always concentrate on the pawns;3.2;1;4;3;4;4
+Know what you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? A slow swimmer.;3.2;2;4;3;5;2
+Her: You spent our entire life savings on dogs Me: They're golden retrievers, Karen. They retrieve gold. I did it for us;3.2;4;1;4;4;3
+i decided to give a name to my dinner. it was a miss steak;3.2;5;5;2;2;2
+My mum said she will always have my back But when dad takes off the belt she never takes the hit for me. ;3.2;3;3;2;5;3
+Why is Uber always slower than Lyft ? Because Uber eats.;3.2;5;4;3;2;2
+How do electricians meditate? Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm;3.2;5;3;3;1;4
+Whats a person from Alabamas favorite meal? Family spitroast;3.2;3;3;2;4;4
+Where did Lucy go during the bombing? Everywhere ;3.2;3;2;4;5;2
+"Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands; There are no canaries there either.";3.2;3;2;4;4;3
+how do you know if someone has run a marathon? don't worry , they'll tell you .;3.2;5;3;2;2;4
+what color are mirrors? i don't know , let's reflect on this .;3.2;2;3;4;4;3
+Why keyboards... Why keyboards don't sleep? Because they have two shifts!;3.2;3;3;2;3;5
+What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up? Oh My Gourd!;3.2;5;5;2;2;2
+Why can't any of the seven dwarfs share the same name? Because that could create a pair o' Docs.;3.2;3;3;5;2;3
+What do you call a jellyfish on a racing boat? A stringy thingy in a dinghy.;3.2;3;5;5;2;1
+God: NOAH. Noah: Yes Lord? God: Where are the land sharks, flying spiders and the jumping snakes? Noah: Oh nooooo, did I forget those?;3.2;4;2;4;4;2
+What do you call a hair salon next to a graveyard? Curl up and dye;3.2;2;1;4;4;5
+why is that cotton candy talking? grandma , that's nicki minaj .;3.2;2;3;5;4;2
+why are doctors always calm? they have a lot of patients . sorry .;3.2;1;5;5;4;1
+Whenever I see WHOA spelled as WOAH, I assume it's referring to Noah's evil twin whose Ark housed all the insect and arachnid life.;3.2;5;3;2;4;2
+How do you get back at an egoist? With another egoist. An I for an I.;3.2;4;3;3;4;2
+lol What is an Orphans favorite toy? A boomerang because it comes back unlike their parents.;3.2;1;4;3;5;3
+my dad is a real family man. he has three of them;3.2;3;2;5;2;4
+What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog? A mist conception.;3.2;5;2;4;3;2
+What sound does a pedantic owl make? Whom, whom. ;3.2;4;2;5;3;2
+A dog that barks Is not cooked well;3.2;4;1;4;5;2
+"my coworker used to joke "" i'm allergic to most nuts , but not donuts! "" . until bill brought in peanut butter donuts . he died in the ambulance .";3.2;4;2;1;5;4
+why did the janitor file for a divorce? he found his wife sweeping with someone else .;3.2;1;5;4;2;4
+I played against an Oprhan Baseball team once. None of them made it past third base.;3.2;5;1;4;3;3
+What has three letters and starts with gas? A car.;3.2;3;2;5;4;2
+If you get mixed up when you read with your fingers, you're just Braillely dyslexic.;3.2;3;1;5;4;3
+i have a bumper sticker in braille if you can read this, you're driving too close .;3.2;3;1;2;5;5
+I'm not raciest I have four black tires and a colored tv;3.2;1;1;4;5;5
+"On the Red Carpet  Reporter: ""Who are you wearing?"" Buffalo Bill: ""I'm so glad you asked.""";3.2;2;3;4;3;4
+why did the redditor cross the subreddit? to recycle a joke from the other side .;3.0;4;3;4;2;2
+I get carried away sometimes. Usually because I refuse to leave;3.0;1;4;4;2;4
+How are babies like hinges? They are things to adore;3.0;2;5;5;2;1
+What jumps up and down in front of a car? Froglights !;3.0;1;5;4;2;3
+can people using windows play games online with people with using mac? depends on the wifi at starbucks .;3.0;3;3;4;4;1
+What do a fretless bass and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.;3.0;3;4;3;3;2
+Scientists have invented a new device called the hyperbole chamber. It is the greatest and best thing ever since the dawn of civilization;3.0;1;3;4;2;5
+how do you know a girl is into you? just pinch yourself , if you don't wake up , she doesn't .;3.0;4;4;3;1;3
+What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka? Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.;3.0;4;4;3;1;3
+what do ants drink? tea . it's an ant tea joke .;3.0;5;2;4;2;2
+may i have a quick word with you? velocity;3.0;1;5;3;1;5
+I eat bits of metal all day. It's my staple diet;3.0;4;3;2;3;3
+i knew my younger sister was becoming an archeologist after she started dating her best friend's father. she loves to be around old bones;3.0;3;2;1;5;4
+whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? beer nuts are a dollar and forty nine cents and deer nuts are under a buck;3.0;5;1;2;4;3
+trainer : what's the most intense part of your work out? me : getting into my sports bra .;3.0;2;5;2;4;2
+What do reddit admins eat? Everything;3.0;1;4;4;5;1
+debit card was repeatedly declined at the grocery store today. i was trying to buy vegetables so the bank just assumed the card was stolen;3.0;1;4;4;2;4
+Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan? Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest.;3.0;4;2;1;5;3
+for sale: crystal ball cant see any future in keeping it;3.0;5;1;4;2;3
+Why did the rabbit eat lunch under the sink? He found a leek there.;3.0;3;3;2;5;2
+a friend of mine is allergic to both peanut butter and bees, which he discovered when he bit into the worst sandwich ever .;3.0;5;3;3;1;3
+dress for the job you want , not the job you have. in many cases this will mean showing up to the interview in a pirate suit;3.0;2;3;2;5;3
+have you guys heard my joke about elevators? it's funny on multiple levels;3.0;3;4;3;2;3
+Which kitchen appliance do surfers dislike most? The micro wave.;3.0;2;4;4;1;4
+Why are carbon chains with two double bonds so sad? Because they're diene;3.0;2;5;3;3;2
+millionaire interview interviewer : sir , who helped you on becoming a millionaire? millionaire : my wife threedots i was a billionaire before .;3.0;4;4;3;2;2
+i asked the cashier at the window of the service station for a galaxy. she came back with a milky way;3.0;3;2;3;3;4
+Tourist: What's the speed limit in this hick town? Native: We don't have one. You strangers can't get out of here fast enough for us.;3.0;1;2;4;3;5
+Why did Little Miss Muffet have GPS on her Tuffet? To keep her from losing her whey.;3.0;3;1;4;5;2
+"""Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today? "" ""Not much, just working on my Theseus.""";3.0;3;4;5;1;2
+What was its name before the paralympics? Skipping leg day;3.0;4;3;3;1;4
+What did the insurance company say to the applicant? THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!;3.0;3;3;5;3;1
+"q . how does bill gates enter his house? a . he uses "" windows "" .";3.0;1;2;3;5;4
+How do you know when relationship gets serious in California? They take you to meet their Tarot Card reader.;3.0;3;4;3;4;1
+"What do you say if Jordin Tootoo gets on the same elevator as you and you're both going to the second floor? ""I'm going to two too, Tootoo"" ";3.0;4;3;2;5;1
+"my computer is organized exactly like my brain, which is to say that I just found a photo of a baby weasel alone in a folder called ""good""";3.0;3;2;4;4;2
+what's the best part about dating a twin? nobody can judge you on your age difference .;3.0;4;2;5;1;3
+What do you call a fish that stands out? Out of plaice.;3.0;2;1;4;4;4
+Whats the most unlikely line to read in the bible? The characters in this book are entirely fictional.;3.0;5;2;2;4;2
+My hobbies include humming the Jurassic Park theme song to my chickens, to make them feel more in touch with their ancestors.;3.0;4;3;5;1;2
+"""Why'd you name me Carson, dad? "" You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.";3.0;4;2;2;2;5
+"UK: We call it ""Autumn"", from the French word ""Automne"", and later, from the Latin ""autumnus"". USA: WE CALL IT FALL BECAUSE LEAVES FALL DOWN";3.0;4;4;1;4;2
+I've been sitting here trying to think of a French joke, and I almost have one that works. Unfrotunately, it went on strike;3.0;2;3;1;4;5
+Where do blind sparrows go for treatment? The Birds Eye counter !;3.0;4;1;3;3;4
+My vet asked if my dog likes to eat herself out I said I do that for her;3.0;5;2;1;2;5
+"I told my dog to bark. He said, ""howwwl loud.""";3.0;3;2;5;3;2
+Want to hear my latest joke about the Fibonacci sequence? It's as good as my previous two Fibonacci sequence jokes put together!;3.0;2;3;3;5;2
+Did you know they buried Steve Jobs in an orchard? Yep. He's still pushing apples.;3.0;5;4;2;2;2
+Body language can be so subtle that only an intuitive person can read your mood. Body slams, I have found, are far more direct;3.0;2;2;5;3;3
+I just watched a film about a couple who bought a haunted yoghurt. It's called Paranormal Activia;3.0;5;2;1;4;3
+"My landlord wanted to come talk to me about the high heating bill I told him, ""My door is always open"".";3.0;4;3;4;2;2
+I don't think I will ever find a stable job. Because quite honestly I'm very uncomfortable around horses;3.0;2;3;4;1;5
+Put some desks and a blackboard in my living room today... To make it more classy...;3.0;2;5;1;4;3
+five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain threedots you were waiting for the punchline but it never came .;3.0;3;1;4;4;3
+How did the steak chef at the courthouse like his paycheck? In legal tender;3.0;3;4;3;2;3
+Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants.;3.0;4;4;2;2;3
+never heard this before knock knock who's there ? dishes. dishes who ? dish is sean connery;3.0;3;3;4;1;4
+to the woman who keeps pounding and screaming at my door all night: i'm not letting you go threedots;3.0;5;2;2;2;4
+What does a bored Spaniard eat? Aburrido.;3.0;2;2;3;5;3
+i'll tell you what i love doing more than anything : trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. i can hardly contain myself;3.0;3;1;5;3;3
+my favourite element is helium. i can't speak highly enough of it;3.0;2;5;5;1;2
+An art thief gets caught after a heist, how so? Many people saw his Van Gogh from the scene of the crime.;3.0;3;4;2;1;5
+I used to rub my hair together when I was stressed. But now I'm dreading the consequences;3.0;4;3;2;4;2
+Whats a printer's favorite sandwich? A paper jam sandwhich;3.0;3;5;2;3;2
+I'm not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you... I just had a really tasty leg of salmon and I feel fine...;3.0;2;2;3;4;4
+how can a man go eight days without sleep? no problem , he sleeps at night .;3.0;4;2;4;2;3
+What's a nerdy way of saying a bad word? A canine with two X chromosomes.;3.0;5;2;3;2;3
+Want to hear the joke about a well? You wouldn't understand it. It's too deep for you.;3.0;2;3;4;5;1
+"Confucius say, ""Happy wife lead to soft hands... Unhappy wife lead to softer hands.""";2.8;2;4;5;2;1
+I couldn't find you any new tampons. but I managed to pull a few strings;2.8;2;4;3;2;3
+A Lizard lost its tail. but it got one back from a retail shop;2.8;3;1;4;4;2
+Did you hear trees can't cum? They just leaf;2.8;5;1;4;2;2
+what's the opposite of assault? a pepper .;2.8;2;1;4;4;3
+i am giving up eating red meats. i'm going cold turkey;2.8;3;2;2;3;4
+You know why pro smash players were excited to see Steve in Smash? Because he's a miner;2.8;2;5;1;5;1
+What unit of measurement did the ancient greeks use to measure their crops? Demeter.;2.8;3;2;5;1;3
+What did Obe Wan say to Skywalker when he was teaching him table manners? Use the forks Luke.;2.8;3;2;1;4;4
+What do you call a chinese poker face? A mahjong face;2.8;1;4;4;2;3
+stephen hawking finally published his new book. it's about time;2.8;2;1;5;3;3
+The next time somebody complains about millennials, maybe remind them which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hardwood floors.;2.8;5;1;3;3;2
+Are you afraid of quantum mechanics? Dont worry, it's gonna be Feynman.;2.8;4;2;5;2;1
+I like to put grilled chicken in my egg and cheese stuffed breakfast burrito. Nothing warms my heart and stomach more than reuniting a mother and child;2.8;3;2;1;5;3
+The Egyptian man became a bone doctor. They called him a Cairopractor;2.8;4;2;3;3;2
+don't ever let a chiropractor tell u a joke. it'll hit your funny bone;2.8;3;2;4;3;2
+What makes the ocean roar? You'd roar too if you had crabs on your bottom;2.8;4;2;2;1;5
+Friend told me he buffed up without any protein shakes. No whey;2.8;2;5;2;1;4
+"I bought a clock, and then the big hand broke off it. I didn't want to throw it away, so I just added ""ish"" to every number";2.8;2;1;4;4;3
+Mom is coming to town. I get three full days of mouthing apologies to waiters;2.8;2;1;4;4;3
+wanted to be a farmer at one time, but it turned out to be the wrong field for me .;2.8;2;2;4;2;4
+I don't get why people think the homeless are unclean. when they have the mintiest breaths I've ever smelled;2.8;3;2;2;5;2
+My bank is trying to get people to open additional savings accounts, but there is no interest.;2.8;3;5;1;2;3
+"When I asked my friend how he's doing, he said ""man, I'm just happy to be breathing"". I told him he should have bigger aspirations";2.8;1;1;4;3;5
+i wasn't dancing. i was trying to connect to the wifi;2.8;1;2;2;4;5
+This year's Delta inflight buckle your seat belt video isn't as good as the last one. I give two and a half seat belts;2.8;5;2;1;4;2
+What do you call an ant who skips school? A truant !;2.8;1;2;4;5;2
+life is short, which means it can't get on any of the cool rides .;2.8;5;1;2;5;1
+What do you call an artist with a brown finger? Picasso;2.8;1;1;5;2;5
+why did god have no sense of humor when putting the planets in order? because he didn't want to put uranus at the end of the solar system;2.8;3;2;4;3;2
+stopped shaving for november , at first i hated the mustache , but what can i say? it's grown on me .;2.8;3;5;3;1;2
+what charity has peta beat in terms of death rate? the make a wish foundation .;2.8;5;1;4;1;3
+i thought if i took the shell off my racing snail it would go faster. if anything it seems more sluggish;2.8;2;5;3;2;2
+OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes;2.8;1;1;5;5;2
+What does a cow do after a break up? Mooves on.;2.8;1;5;1;4;3
+What do you call a hard drive in a hydraulic press? File compression;2.8;2;4;3;2;3
+If I can wear my underwear inside out and backwards all day with no one noticing, how important are they really?;2.8;3;1;4;2;4
+Which chocolate stops dogs hair falling out? Malteasers;2.8;3;1;3;3;4
+Guys I'm finally vegan Coz afterall, you are what you eat;2.8;3;3;3;3;2
+why did the hipster dislike physics? cause the system is broke , yo .;2.8;3;3;2;4;2
+where did the judge go to buy a necklace for his wife? the jury store;2.8;2;5;4;2;1
+What do you get if a huge hairy monster steps on Batman and Robin? Flatman and Ribbon !;2.8;2;2;4;4;2
+I know ALL the digits of Pi Not the order, just the digits.;2.8;2;1;4;4;3
+"so a flat walks into a bar . . . and the bartender looks up and says, "" g you're looking sharp . """;2.8;2;5;4;2;1
+ababbaaaabbabbbbabababababbbaaabababbabaaaba. long time no C;2.8;5;1;5;1;2
+What did they call the race car driver who won with a hen strapped to the hood of his car? Number One with a Pullet.;2.8;4;1;3;5;1
+twitter, because my work isn't just going to ignore itself .;2.8;1;3;3;3;4
+everyone needs a three hour nap after their breakfast pizza, right ?;2.8;3;2;4;3;2
+What did Helen Keller say when she answered the phone? Ouch because she used the iron;2.8;2;4;2;4;2
+My girlfriend makes me want to be a better man. so that I can get a better girlfriend;2.8;5;3;4;1;1
+"a snail was mugged by two turtles . when the police asked him what happened, he said "" i don't know . it all happened so fast . """;2.8;3;2;2;3;4
+How would you describe the typical Inuit mathematician? Cold and calculating.;2.8;3;2;2;2;5
+Thanos is a hero For ending childhood hunger.;2.8;2;4;4;1;3
+if you leave your house with one leg, that's going out on a limb .;2.8;3;1;1;5;4
+How many palindromes do I know of? Not a ton;2.8;3;4;1;4;2
+"when the hostess at the restaurant says "" table for two ? "", i always like to look surprised and whisper "" you can see her too ? "" .";2.8;4;2;3;2;3
+What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day? A coffin break.;2.8;5;1;4;3;1
+Why did the Dark Ages existed? Because there were 'nights.;2.8;4;4;2;3;1
+Girls wait for the perfect guy: Disney's fault. Guys wait for the perfect girl: Playboy's fault;2.8;3;2;4;2;3
+how can you tell that a straight pin is confused? just look at it . it's headed in one direction and pointed in the other .;2.8;3;4;4;2;1
+i always try not to judge people. which is probably why i lost my job as a judge !;2.8;2;3;5;3;1
+Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building? ...He couldn't fit in the elevator.;2.8;5;1;3;1;4
+"i was walking though a forest with a young girl the other night and she said "" i'm scared "" i said "" your scared, i've gotta walk back on my own """;2.8;3;1;1;4;5
+Did anybody else see the lunar eclipse tonight? I looked, but I couldn't see it.;2.8;3;3;2;5;1
+If you stand by the sea... ...it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.;2.8;3;2;4;3;2
+waitress : would you prefer your order with a side of fries or salad? me : would you prefer your tip with cash or advice;2.8;1;2;3;3;5
+what do you call a group of people standing in the arctic circle? a finnish line .;2.8;2;4;3;3;2
+when someone tells you that they cut their own hair, it's polite to act surprised;2.8;3;5;1;4;1
+Wow, I just passed my probability exam. What were the chances of that?;2.8;3;2;4;3;2
+christmas song single bells, single bells . single all the way . my crush said let's be friends . friendzone all the way !;2.8;5;3;1;1;4
+waiter i can't seem to find any oysters in this oyster soup. would you expect to find angels in angel cake ?;2.8;3;1;5;3;2
+Exterminators: The only profession in which you put yourself out of business by being really good at your job.;2.8;2;2;4;3;3
+"gift horse "" my gums are bleeding. "" dentist "" well this is a professional dilemma threedots """;2.8;5;3;2;2;2
+what would happen if pigs could fly? bacon would go up !;2.8;3;3;3;4;1
+What kind of cheese can be used to build a structure? Cottage cheese.;2.8;5;4;1;3;1
+The most artistic boxer Just watched some Evander Holyfield highlight videos. Such artistry! He's like the Vincent Van Gogh of the boxing world.;2.8;2;1;5;3;3
+My trip to Beruit was so fun! I had such a blast!;2.8;5;2;1;4;2
+Autocorrect is horrible. I'm so tired of this shirt;2.8;1;3;2;4;4
+"What is the origin of the word ""Boob""? The ""B"" is the aerial view, the ""oo"" is the front view, the ""b"" is the side view.";2.8;2;1;3;3;5
+Why do computers only come in black? Because they have a motherboard.;2.6;5;1;1;1;5
+If a stork is the bird that brings the babies what bird takes them away? The swallow;2.6;2;5;1;1;4
+wife : how was the doctor? me : bad i'm dying wife : i know , how was the doctor;2.6;3;3;3;3;1
+What did the hen use to finish her homework? A cluckulator;2.6;4;4;2;2;1
+What does a chef and a gravitational wave astronomer have in common? They both work in gastronomy;2.6;4;2;4;2;1
+Knew a guy who fashioned an entire suit out of rubber bands. He was quite the snappy dresser;2.6;3;2;1;3;4
+why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn't? the dime had more cents .;2.6;2;2;2;2;5
+My daughter is so brave She thought she could take it;2.6;1;2;4;5;1
+My life without you is like a car without steering wheel I drive a tesla;2.6;1;3;4;2;3
+Tossed and turned all night. I gotta stop moisturizing with salad dressing;2.6;3;3;1;3;3
+The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, a wise man knows whether or not to say it...;2.6;4;2;2;3;2
+truth time : i've been cheating on my diet. with a younger , more attractive diet;2.6;1;1;3;3;5
+Why did the bumble bee have sticky fur? Because he used a honey comb.;2.6;2;2;2;4;3
+"Nic Cage was a straight A highschool student but he slacked off one semester. When he got his report card, he shouted ""Bs! Not the Bs!""";2.6;1;5;5;1;1
+my toddler puts his pants on just like everyone else. one arm at a time;2.6;2;3;1;2;5
+What do Polish Hussars and toothpaste have in common? They both fight against Tartars.;2.6;1;3;4;1;4
+How did the telephone technician catch his fish? By dropping them a line.;2.6;2;2;5;3;1
+Amputees can be pretty stubborn. You've really got to hand it to them;2.6;1;5;1;2;4
+i hope i get a watch for christmas! because there's no present like the time .;2.6;2;3;1;5;2
+A rabbi, a priest, and a Lutheran minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, Is this a joke?;2.6;5;3;1;1;3
+My ex... My ex was like a rock pool. Shallow, but interesting. And upon closer inspection I found crabs.;2.6;4;1;3;4;1
+How many Jon Snows does it take to change a light bulb? It wouldn't matter. Jon Snow knows nothing.;2.6;4;3;3;1;2
+Someone stole your tiny Stradivarius? Aw, poor baby, I'm playing the world's smallest violin for you. It's, uh, a different one. Gotta go.;2.6;3;2;2;2;4
+doctor doctor you have to help me out! certainly which way did you come in ?;2.6;1;2;5;2;3
+If you're a Roman with epilepsy: Do you have Julius Seizures?;2.6;1;2;3;5;2
+"It's hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.";2.6;5;1;5;1;1
+sorry i didn't text you back, but my phone recognized your number .;2.6;4;1;3;1;4
+Why did the guy kick the broom out of his house? It swept with his girlfriend :P;2.6;3;3;3;2;2
+if theres liquid water on mars i dont care about it. im not going to drink it;2.6;1;1;5;4;2
+No matter how much I try to buy those supermarket conveyor belt dividers. The cashier just keeps putting them back;2.6;2;3;3;1;4
+i wouldn't say i never exercise. occasionally , my nose runs;2.6;3;2;3;2;3
+"My friend's WoW character couldn't go forward anymore. You'll never guess what he said !? "" wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww""";2.6;2;1;1;5;4
+Dear diary, Sometimes it just seems like I can't tell if something is an inanimate object or a person My therapist: Yes that's quite clear;2.6;4;1;2;1;5
+I tried to teach a monkey new words by writing them on gigantic beach balls. Sadly he just couldn't get a grip on them.;2.6;2;4;1;4;2
+why can't monday get a girlfriend? because it always comes to fast;2.6;4;1;3;2;3
+doctor doctor i keep seeing an insect spinning around. don't worry it's just a bug that's going around !;2.6;3;1;4;2;3
+"What's the difference between a bad coffee in Switzerland and a bad coffee in Italy? When you drink a bad coffee in Switzerland you say, ""Merci!"".";2.6;2;3;4;2;2
+"My friend asked me if I'd ever seen a pub fight. ""I have not,"" I replied, ""and no other buildings for that matter.""";2.6;2;3;4;2;2
+what did one ghost say to the other? do you believe in people;2.6;4;2;1;3;3
+What do you call a dinosaur that's in a hurry? A Prontosaur.;2.6;4;2;1;4;2
+why did the canadian dj turn down a gig at a local gym? because why mc , eh;2.6;3;1;2;2;5
+My Bakery Burned Down Last Night. Now my business is toast;2.6;1;3;3;2;4
+"What did the french food critic say when he was given a savoury pancake? ""It's crepe""";2.6;2;1;5;2;3
+How do tree surgeons live? Life on the hedge!;2.6;3;2;2;3;3
+Why Is Chemistry Racist? It's very selective. Edit. My first time making a joke. I know I can't make a joke. This is not directed at anyone.;2.6;5;5;1;1;1
+NATURAL BLONDE Q: What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair? A: Artifical intelligence.;2.6;1;2;4;1;5
+I had a heated argument with my wife last night. Apparently leaving the water heater on got me in hot water;2.6;5;2;2;2;2
+what's the difference between an elevator and a redditor? an elevator has a gf;2.6;2;2;5;2;2
+What happened when the astrophysicist lost a competition? He got a constellation prize.;2.6;1;4;4;1;3
+I can do a Snake impression My friends say it's pretty solid;2.6;2;4;2;1;4
+I was looking for recipes for diabetics The website offered me cookies!;2.6;3;1;3;1;5
+customer : why do you own a hot dog stand when you draw and write ? me : wanna buy my book ? them : no. me : that's why i own a hot dog stand;2.6;3;2;3;3;2
+what do you eat when you fly? plane food or plain food;2.6;1;3;2;2;5
+I forgot where boomerangs land. Oh, wait. It's coming back to me.;2.6;1;4;3;2;3
+Here's to the kisses that I snatched, and Vice versa. Bottoms up fellas;2.6;1;3;3;5;1
+"being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than "" he sees how creepy u are, that's why he doesn't want to shake your hand "" .";2.6;4;1;2;3;3
+Why did the anthropologist eat a lot of yogurt? So that he could understand culture.;2.6;2;3;1;3;4
+"""Where was you at? "" I was probably not skipping English class.";2.6;3;4;1;4;1
+There's a metal band that plays while on soapy water. Slipknot;2.6;3;2;2;4;2
+The spider I just killed with a napkin isn't in the napkin, and now I'm in a circle of salt reciting incantations.;2.6;3;2;4;1;3
+How did Eddard Stark get his daily recommended amount of fiber? Raisin' Bran.;2.6;3;3;3;2;2
+where does a shoulder work? in the army .;2.6;1;1;3;5;3
+Has anyone here seen the Matthew McConaughey movie where he keeps getting grouchy in the early evenings and no one can figure out why...? Failure to Lunch;2.6;4;3;3;1;2
+What did stevie wonder say when he saw a robbery in an alleyway... ........;2.6;1;4;2;2;4
+what do you call a used rubber in a church parking lot? family practice;2.6;4;1;4;1;3
+Is it vegan If it's made from vegans?;2.6;1;3;3;5;1
+can we survive without whales? no whey .;2.6;2;2;3;5;1
+Why did the burglar avoid stealing the kitchen utensils? He decided it wasn't worth the wisk.;2.6;3;1;1;5;3
+Why are spiders so unproductive? Because they hang out on the web all day!;2.6;5;1;2;3;2
+What type of pasta is no longer used in Canada? Penny ...;2.6;3;5;3;1;1
+That moment when your crush is absent, and you wasted your time going to school.;2.6;3;2;2;2;4
+how do you blind a woman? you put a windshield in front of her .;2.6;3;2;5;1;2
+Why did Saint Francis cry? Someone called him Assisi.;2.6;2;1;1;4;5
+i got a fitbit to get a sense for my activity level after a few days of wearing it, it asked if i was a tree;2.6;4;4;2;2;1
+"just once when someone says , "" is anyone there? "" in a scary movie , i want the villain to be like . "" what up . i'm over here . you got me . """;2.6;3;3;1;2;4
+one thing that i have never had in the glove box of my car, is a pair of gloves .;2.6;4;1;3;2;3
+i didnt lose, i just ran out of time to win .;2.6;4;4;1;3;1
+what do you call a website that steals all of reddit's hitler jokes? nein gag .;2.6;3;2;2;2;4
+"What did the composer say on a date? ""I'm a Classic Romantic....I'm also Baroque.""";2.6;3;3;4;1;2
+I just told my girlfriend that I was an Italian mite in a past life. I'm a Roman tick at heart;2.6;5;1;2;3;2
+"While I fully intended to ""sleep my way to the top, "" it appears I've napped my way to the middle.";2.6;4;1;4;2;2
+What does Eckhart Tolle get for Christmas? Presence;2.6;3;1;2;4;3
+What do you call a tired skeleton? The Grim Sleeper;2.6;2;3;5;1;2
+Best thing about being a hermit? No peer pressure.;2.6;1;3;2;4;3
+What's the difference between an Art major and a guy who mops bathrooms at KFC? One has a job.;2.6;3;3;1;4;2
+cleaning out the garage , i found some things i didn't even realize i had. like a tent , a new printer , and a fourth kid;2.6;1;4;3;4;1
+When he's out driving where does Dracula like to stop and eat? The Happy Biter.;2.6;1;4;1;2;5
+Last night I wanted to figure out what my Christmas present was so I repeatedly shook it. This morning I found out it WAS a kitten.;2.6;2;4;3;2;2
+Did you hear about the man who got a hatchet stuck in his teeth? It was accidental.;2.6;2;2;2;5;2
+"I got a bite the first time I went fishing. I panicked and phoned the Fisherman's Advice Bureau to see what I should do. ""Please hold the line,"" they said!";2.6;4;4;1;1;3
+Never date a chemist, they seduce you with their magnetism, only call you periodically, then one day: Boom! They Argon.;2.6;2;2;2;2;5
+If you believe in the end of the world tomorrow. I'm going to keep making end of the world jokes like there's no tomorrow;2.6;5;4;2;1;1
+What was the most successful love story in Game of Thrones? Shireen. She was only on Tinder for a couple of minutes.;2.6;1;5;2;4;1
+What is red and keeps getting smaller? A baby with a cheese slicer;2.6;1;3;2;4;3
+I'm so bored with life, I've decided to read the Oxford English Dictionary from start to finish. I'm past caring;2.6;3;1;4;1;4
+What do you say when leaving the Periodic Table of Elements' police station? Cu Copper.;2.6;5;2;1;2;3
+what's your favorite thing about earth? it's just got such a great atmosphere .;2.6;1;4;4;3;1
+Women find me hard to resist That Glock serves me quite well;2.6;1;4;2;4;2
+Monster: Someone told me Dr Frankenstein invented the safety match. Igor: Yes that was one of his most striking achievements;2.6;2;3;3;3;2
+They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but actually. A plateau is;2.6;2;3;3;3;2
+Why do writers always feel cold? Because they are surrounded by drafts!;2.6;2;3;3;3;2
+What does a stripper eat for thanksgiving dinner? Twerky;2.6;3;3;3;3;1
+whats a feminist least favorite football team? MANchester united;2.6;1;4;4;1;3
+Why are Chameleons surprisingly good at flying? Because they are always in duh skies;2.6;2;3;4;2;2
+did you see the movie invisible? i couldn't;2.6;5;3;3;1;1
+Remember when all bombs looked like a black bowling ball with a giant wick in the top? Yep, simpler times.;2.6;4;2;4;2;1
+Ah, water. Giver of life. Destroyer of witches. Improver of tee shirt contests.;2.6;4;2;1;4;2
+Two coffees were walking down the street. One of them was mugged;2.4;1;2;3;4;2
+What kind of bird flies around bays? Bagles;2.4;1;3;4;2;2
+i'm selling books on how to avoid saying the wrong thing and getting into fights. who wants some ?;2.4;1;5;4;1;1
+I would never get an abortion... Why spend the money when the stairs are free.;2.4;1;4;1;5;1
+Today I purchased a cherry tree and a firecracker.  Bought a Bing, bought a boom.;2.4;2;2;2;3;3
+My doctor told me I should be on a staple diet. I told him I don't think I can digest metal and walked out;2.4;2;2;5;2;1
+What does NASA stand for? Needs another seven astronauts;2.4;3;2;4;1;2
+great . only a single slice of bread left in the bag . that means until i find another slice, everything that happens today is in the sandwich;2.4;3;1;4;2;2
+What do you calla person that inherits a lot of money? A millionheir.;2.4;2;2;2;4;2
+What does a owl say when it stumps it foot? OOOOOWWWWLLLL....;2.4;1;3;5;2;1
+The kiss is a wordless articulation of desire whose object lies in the future, and somewhat to the south.;2.4;4;1;1;3;3
+Why was the headmaster worried? Because there were too many rulers in school!;2.4;4;2;3;1;2
+pick something up . you just applied more force on that object than the gravity of an entire planet . earth, do you even lift ?;2.4;4;2;1;2;3
+Up next: How to sound good in a band... Stay tuned!!;2.4;3;1;3;2;3
+sweet potato fries. could be made from sweet potatoes, or they could just be really awesome potato fries;2.4;3;2;1;4;2
+"My wife told me that she hates revolving doors and is afraid that she'll get stuck in them. I said, 'You'll come round eventually.""";2.4;4;1;1;3;3
+Aquaman: Come on in the water is great. Ironman: Sorry dude I have rust issues;2.4;4;1;2;1;4
+How do you compliment a pickle rapper's verse? That was dill!;2.4;4;2;2;2;2
+What kind of rain do they have at the North Pole? Reindeer.;2.4;1;3;2;2;4
+how much did the skeleton charge for his excellent legal services? an arm and a leg .;2.4;2;2;3;2;3
+What is the Great Saiyaman's favorite Adam Sandler movie? You Don't Mess with the Gohan;2.4;1;2;4;3;2
+My wife hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair, but then she sat on it. Eventually she came round;2.4;1;3;1;3;4
+I've Just Set Up a Brothel At Sea for Horny Sailors. business is generally good, but clients tend come in large waves;2.4;1;2;1;4;4
+What do you call someone who hates cold weather? A southerner;2.4;5;3;1;1;2
+All I do is eat, drink, sleep and tweet. I'm basically just a more annoying version of a Tamagotchi;2.4;2;2;2;3;3
+It's uncomfortable talking about how i got my cat fixed last week. But sometimes you gotta call a spayed a spayed;2.4;2;3;5;1;1
+what food is good for the brain? noodle soup .;2.4;2;1;3;3;3
+why do blondes like blonde jokes? it makes them feel popular .;2.4;4;3;3;1;1
+If sandman had plushie, what would it be called? Sandals;2.4;5;1;2;3;1
+If you were receiving a shipment of very rare, very special insects, would it be. Import Ant;2.4;1;4;1;4;2
+Mrs Claus hospitalised with severe cramps. Heavy Christmas period to blame;2.4;1;2;4;3;2
+"what did the american vet did when he came to back from vietnam? "" the guns wasn't in the horse fixing resume ! """;2.4;3;2;4;2;1
+"Whenever I see people exercising early in the morning I think, ""Wow! I'm so impressed I'm up this early!""";2.4;3;2;2;1;4
+Where do spiders play their FA Cup final? Webley stadium !;2.4;2;1;5;1;3
+stress? don't talk to me about stress . some of my favorite tv characters are currently in truly sticky situations;2.4;5;1;2;3;1
+life is like a cup of coffee threedots no matter how much sugar you put in it, there's always grounds at the end .;2.4;2;3;2;1;4
+"What does the ""Q"" from ""Iraq"" stands for? Quicksilver";2.4;2;3;1;4;2
+"how do men in new zealand address their women? "" hey ! ewe ! """;2.4;1;5;2;3;1
+dear board of education , so are we. sincerely , students;2.4;3;3;3;1;2
+A girl winked at me.... With her both eyes;2.4;3;2;4;1;2
+I come from a musical family. Even our sewing machine was a singer;2.4;4;1;1;5;1
+What do French people do when they don't have bottles of their favourite beverage? They go to Cannes;2.4;4;2;1;3;2
+why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? so people don't confuse them with feminists .;2.4;4;1;4;2;1
+What did the Italian historian ask when he saw the original copies of one of the tragedian's greatest plays? Euripides;2.4;1;3;1;5;2
+"What did Jennifer Lawrence say to Julius Caesar? ...""May the Ides be ever in your favor.""";2.4;1;4;1;2;4
+Why was the Astronaut cold? He forgot to bring a space heater.;2.4;4;3;1;2;2
+My best friend seems homeless... He's a minimalist.;2.4;2;5;3;1;1
+Why did the Turkey join the band? because he had two Drumsticks.;2.4;3;3;2;2;2
+I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller;2.4;2;5;1;1;3
+What is a common question at lizards' fast food joints? You want flies with that;2.4;4;3;1;2;2
+if they ever start charging for air threedots i'll buy a bag of chips, at least it will be a package deal .;2.4;3;1;3;1;4
+what do you get if you cross king kong with a snowman? frostbite .;2.4;2;1;3;2;4
+What has gas, liquid and solids on it at the same time? Uranus.;2.4;4;2;1;4;1
+I don't know what the question is. But violins is not the answer;2.4;1;2;4;4;1
+What's the best thing about little girls? You can flip em over and pretend they're little boys;2.4;1;3;3;4;1
+what do you mean pi r square? pies are round;2.4;3;2;3;1;3
+"A doctor was listening to a teenage girl's heart ""All right,"" he said, ""take big breaths."" ""What? "" she said. ""Big breaths!"" ""Yeth!"" she said. ""And I'm only thixteen!""";2.4;2;4;3;2;1
+i actually loved the twilight: eclipse movie until i realized i was actually in an alley drunk watching two cats fight over a dead mouse .;2.4;1;2;1;5;3
+What do you call a Sith Lord who lives in the woods? Darth Deciduous;2.4;3;2;2;4;1
+this homeless guy just asked me if i was okay. i told him i was a little grumpy because i haven't eaten in three hours;2.4;4;3;2;1;2
+"Why was the pregnant woman screaming ""wouldn't, shouldn't, couldn't!""? She was having contractions.";2.4;2;1;1;3;5
+what did the dog say to the tree threedots you've got a lot of bark, but no bite threedots;2.4;1;4;3;2;2
+"Why do they say ""character actress""? Is that to differentiate them from the all those actresses that only play walls and bits of furniture";2.4;1;1;4;2;4
+what's the biggest type of tree? a country .;2.4;2;1;4;3;2
+"Why didn't the coffee and the tea get along? Because they were being ""brewed""";2.4;2;3;3;2;2
+"If you factor in ""supply and demand""... she DOES NOT want the D. There is so much D trying to go around, not even the alphabet wants the D.";2.4;5;1;3;2;1
+"Pepsi just bought out Nike. Nike's new slogan will be, ""Just Dew It""";2.4;2;3;2;3;2
+"live a little , ask her "" are ya done? "" while she's still yelling at you .";2.4;1;5;2;1;3
+If I could be indestructible for a day, its scary how many sharks I'd make out with.;2.4;1;4;2;4;1
+If Kung Fu Panda taught me anything, it's that obese people can be accepted. so long as they know kung fu;2.4;4;3;2;2;1
+what does the sun drink out of? sunglasses .;2.4;2;2;4;2;2
+why are women's feet smaller than men's? so they can stand closer to the sink .;2.4;4;4;2;1;1
+So Philip Seymour Hoffman is in the new Hunger Games . . . If anything can bring him back, it's some powerful heroine.;2.4;1;4;2;1;4
+I had a great abortion joke..... But I decided to not to go through with the delivery.;2.4;1;1;4;4;2
+The best thing about black jokes on Reddit is... That the real joke is always in the comments. ;2.4;3;1;2;1;5
+Why did the Sudanese boy get arrested in Texas? I'm not exactly sure, but it was about time.;2.4;2;1;3;1;5
+a horse hiking in deep space. star trek : deep space neigh;2.4;1;1;2;4;4
+"i always have to throw out my animal crackers. they always have that label : "" do not eat if seal is broken """;2.4;3;2;2;3;2
+just so we're all clear: nasa is getting a direct feed from a robot on mars , but i still can't make a cell phone call from my basement .;2.4;2;2;2;3;3
+Did you hear about the dog that saved his owners life who was having a heart attack? It was a heart warning story;2.4;1;2;3;1;5
+i showed my family facebook a few years ago , and haven't heard from them since. best decision ever;2.4;3;3;1;1;4
+Everyone's a contrarian these days. Well, except for me of course;2.4;1;3;2;4;2
+"Why did the plant say after being watered? ""I'm not hungry exactly, but I could still use a light snack"".";2.4;3;3;2;1;3
+Why do tennis players love vending machines? Because they don't have to wait to for their food to be served.;2.4;4;2;2;3;1
+You know what I call a tube that comes with a caulk? A caulk block.;2.4;3;1;4;2;2
+Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.;2.4;2;2;3;2;3
+bloody good question how can you ever be late for anything in london? they have a huge clock right in the middle of the town .;2.4;2;2;3;3;2
+My son asked today: Why the dude's ear is blinking blue? Because he has a blue tooth in his ear...;2.4;3;1;3;4;1
+always put your best foot forward. unless you're wearing crocs , then neither foot is your best;2.4;4;2;2;1;3
+Dad: Son. Get me that Doptid Son: What's a Doptid Dad : You are;2.4;1;1;1;4;5
+how does alfred call batman for dinner? dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner batman !;2.4;4;1;1;4;2
+Why did the person with high blood pressure sue the cook who put sodium in his food? It was a salt.;2.4;3;2;1;1;5
+Who did the breeder call when his horse was possessed by an evil spirit? An exhorsist!;2.4;3;1;1;3;4
+China's economy is doing perfectly fine. I hear it's booming;2.4;4;2;3;2;1
+What do you call the occasionally toxic, organic substances that accumulate over the years in a hoarder's house? Horticulture.;2.4;2;3;3;2;2
+What does the last man on earth watch on tv? reruns;2.4;2;2;1;5;2
+why are they still playing christmas commercials? me watching recorded tv shows;2.4;1;4;2;1;4
+What Do You Call a Romantic Basketball Player? Love Shaq;2.4;2;1;3;5;1
+I have decided to write all of my jokes in capitals from now on. This one was written in Tokyo;2.4;1;4;3;1;3
+Did you hear about the boxer who fought his own clone? The resemblance was striking.;2.4;3;2;2;2;3
+Fred Flintstone only gets haircuts in the UAE. It's the only place he can get an Abu Dhabi Do;2.4;4;1;2;1;4
+i give in to peer pressure my friends went on a diet, so i joined in to try to fit in .;2.4;2;5;1;2;2
+Settle down, Levi's commercial. You are talking about pants;2.4;4;1;1;5;1
+What do you call Russian trees? Dimitrees;2.4;1;1;2;4;4
+The four stages of matter for Germans Solid, liquid, gas and ashes ;2.4;4;1;1;5;1
+What has four wheels and flys? A garbage truck.;2.4;4;2;1;2;3
+i'm pretty great with money. folks keep calling me and telling me my accounts are outstanding;2.4;1;3;3;3;2
+What do buzzards in Kansas eat? Carrion, my wayward son.;2.4;3;2;1;4;2
+my girlfriend said that me being a mime was too much, and she was leaving but i couldn't bring myself to say anything;2.2;1;1;2;4;3
+Knock knock Who's there? Little boy blue. Little boy blue who? Me in the bus station toilet.;2.2;5;1;1;2;2
+How do you make a peanut butter and Reddit sandwich? You spreddit.;2.2;2;1;2;3;3
+What is long, hard and there to please your lover? A bad movie!;2.2;3;1;2;1;4
+What do you call if a bunch of disabled people dress up as army? Special forces;2.2;1;3;4;1;2
+Who can watch an R rated movie but not a PG? Batman;2.2;5;1;1;3;1
+"What did the Goat living in Manama say when it starting raining? ""BAAAHH RAIN!""";2.2;2;2;3;2;2
+"Doctor! Doctor! I think I have Barry Manilow's disease! ""What are your symptoms? "" ""I can't laugh and I can't sing. I'm finding it hard to do anything!""";2.2;2;2;4;2;1
+There is one common point between dark humor and make a wish kids... Both will never get old.;2.2;2;3;4;1;1
+im going on a date with my GF after she's born.;2.2;2;1;5;2;1
+what did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car? i knew i could count on you;2.2;5;1;2;1;2
+dear sharks: you may get your own week on tv , but house cats get their own eternity on the internet .;2.2;3;2;4;1;1
+So I ordered a pizza I ordered a funghi pizza yesterday but I was pretty disappointed. They obviously have mushroom for improvement;2.2;2;1;3;3;2
+forget klondike, you should see what i'd do for an open bar .;2.2;4;1;2;1;3
+I'm invincible. I can not be Vinced;2.2;3;2;2;3;1
+To avoid butterflies in your stomach, don't eat caterpillars.;2.2;1;3;1;2;4
+. no shoes no shirt no problem welcome to walmart;2.2;1;5;1;3;1
+Knock Knock Who's there ! Ayatollah ! Ayatollah who? Ayatollah you already !;2.2;3;1;4;2;1
+what's the world's longest sentence? threedots i do .;2.2;1;1;5;2;2
+If a baby horse swears at it's mother, would this be classed as foal language?;2.2;1;2;2;1;5
+What's a life without manitees? A life with out porpoise.;2.2;1;3;2;3;2
+What's the holiest, French color? Sacred blue!;2.2;2;3;1;4;1
+How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... Five.;2.2;2;1;2;2;4
+What is a tick's favorite fruit? Lime.;2.2;2;2;2;2;3
+Liz from HR just called me in. I guess my thigh gap is distracting everyone, like that's my fault;2.2;1;2;2;2;4
+True friendship is when you walk into someone's house, and your WiFi connects automatically..;2.2;2;5;2;1;1
+who's the world's greatest underwater spy? pond . james pond .;2.2;2;1;2;3;3
+A stampede of homeless people was heading to the local shelter. One might say they were bum rushed;2.2;1;2;3;1;4
+looking back, I wish I'd bought my baked beans online. Heinz site's a wonderful thing;2.2;1;2;5;1;2
+What does a policeman get for doing overtime on the chemistry lab murder? His Copper Nitrate;2.2;2;2;3;2;2
+why couldn't mario ever watch netflix with peach? because the princess was always on another castle .;2.2;1;2;1;4;3
+why does bob ross hide his wife's razor? so she always has a happy little bush !;2.2;2;3;1;3;2
+What did the bird army say when running away? Retweet;2.2;3;1;1;2;4
+About Lily Probably a repost but I don't care: Why did Lily fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lily.;2.2;1;4;1;2;3
+Him: Want to play Trivial Pursuit? Me: Sure. But I guarantee you'll win. I'm not that smart. Him: Want to play strip Trivial Pursuit;2.2;1;1;4;1;4
+Why did the pirate go to Egypt? He was looking for aRRRRtifacts.;2.2;3;1;4;2;1
+I don't date married men. I mean I wouldn't call it dating;2.2;1;1;4;2;3
+I learned how to talk to animals today. Now they just have to learn to listen;2.2;3;1;1;2;4
+i tried to take a photo of a huge bug in my bathroom, but when i put a coin next to it for scale it took the coin and put it in its wallet .;2.2;2;1;2;3;3
+Did you hear about the baker who became a fisherman? He's reeling in the dough!;2.2;2;1;2;2;4
+why is a ghost like an empty house? because there's no body there !;2.2;4;3;2;1;1
+"when does a dog go "" moo ""? when it is learning a new language !";2.2;2;1;2;5;1
+What is every Redditor's blood type? Edit: TypO;2.2;2;3;3;2;1
+What do you do when you meet a robotic genie? You mech a wish.;2.2;2;3;2;2;2
+I wanted to tell you a FedEx joke. But there was already one yesterday, and I don't want you to get FedUp;2.2;2;2;2;3;2
+You guys hear about the new Lebron James phone? It only vibrates, it doesn't have a ring.;2.2;1;4;1;4;1
+Middle only pie A middle only pie could make someone a lot of money. But I donno if they could contain the business;2.2;1;1;4;3;2
+Why did the viper viper nose? Because the adder adder hankerchief !;2.2;1;3;1;5;1
+My wife left me for a fisherman. Poor guy's still reeling;2.2;5;3;1;1;1
+Did I ever tell you about how I lost my job at Tropicana? I couldn't concentrate.;2.2;4;2;1;3;1
+What's Rick Ross's favorite nursery rhyme? Ring Around the Rooooozaaay.;2.2;1;5;1;2;2
+"A secretary walks into her boss's office and says, ""Can I use your Dictaphone? "" He says, ""No, dial with your finger like everyone else.""";2.2;1;2;4;2;2
+what is better than a cold bud? a warm bush .;2.2;2;3;2;1;3
+I'm going to name my son Red so he'll grow up to be a wise sportswriter or the prison inmate who knows how to get things. Hopefully both;2.2;3;1;3;1;3
+Did you hear about the blood drive organizer from Portland who died in a car crash? He was an Oregon donor.;2.2;3;3;1;3;1
+why couldn't the physicists change the lightbulb? too much work .;2.2;1;4;1;4;1
+""" how'd the session go with your new therapist? "" "" it was a waste of time . he just kept showing me pictures of my parents fighting . """;2.2;1;4;2;3;1
+did you get that joke about the titanic? it took a while to sink in .;2.2;4;2;3;1;1
+What do you say encourage a Koala to beat his personal best while bench pressing at the gym Bro Eucalyptus!;2.2;3;4;2;1;1
+how much did harambe drink in the bar? just a couple of shots;2.2;1;4;2;2;2
+Why do people throw coins into foutains? Why do people throw coins into fountains? I don't know, doesn't make any cents.;2.2;1;5;2;1;2
+I believe in ten years, gifts for newly born baby would be a SIM card and a cell phone.;2.2;1;1;3;3;3
+Teacher: in this class you should love logarithms. Student: what if they don't reciprocate? Sorry for the bad math joke... but it was just too good.;2.2;1;2;2;5;1
+""" take the wheel harry ! "" said the nervous lady driver. "" there's a tree coming straight for us ! """;2.2;1;2;3;2;3
+"My butcher introduced me to his wife the other day. He brought her out and said, ""meet patty""";2.2;1;4;1;2;3
+HR: You know why we called you down? Me:Hm. Promotion? HR: You know we monitor internet usage right? Me: I'd like to reporting a hacking;2.2;2;4;3;1;1
+how far can this plane go with just one engine? all the way to the crash site !;2.2;1;4;1;2;3
+I would dress like Batman more often, but I cant run the risk of giant aliens invading and mistaking me for a large Pez dispenser.;2.2;2;2;1;4;2
+If a crackhouse is filled with love, it becomes a crackhome..;2.2;1;2;4;3;1
+"The prayer uttered most often by pet owners and parents of small children: ""Please, God, let that be chocolate.""";2.2;1;3;4;2;1
+how did the woman feel when she got run over by a car? tired .;2.2;4;1;4;1;1
+How do you mail an egg? In a henvelope!;2.2;2;2;3;2;2
+Little Anne was trying to cheat on an exam when suddenly... She got a heart attack. ;2.2;3;1;3;1;3
+"""Why is there sweat on my handbag? "" ""Calm down, it's just a little pursepiration.""";2.2;3;2;2;1;3
+I lost a game of chess Turns out the queen and the king were in a compromised position;2.2;2;3;1;2;3
+I sweat less when I wear sunglasses. Because I feel cooler;2.2;1;2;2;3;3
+What is always in the corner, but can travel around the world? A postage stamp!;2.2;3;3;1;2;2
+What's the smartest piece of lab equipment? A graduated cylinder.;2.2;1;2;4;2;2
+"""Where there's a will, there's a way"" is a great self motivational phrase Until an inheritance is involved";2.2;4;2;1;2;2
+what professional hates going to the bar? a lawyer;2.2;3;3;1;3;1
+q : why do you look out the window in the morning? a : because you can't see through walls , and you can't see anything at night anyway .;2.2;2;1;3;1;4
+I love my life, but it just wants to be friends...;2.2;1;3;3;1;3
+Which bird is always out of breath? A puffin !;2.2;2;2;2;4;1
+What do snake charmers do in the rain? Turn on their windshield vipers.;2.2;3;3;1;2;2
+why did the pirate date the mermaid? he thought finding x in her algebra would lead to booty .;2.2;1;2;2;3;3
+I like litte dogs But i can never eat a whole one.;2.2;1;2;3;1;4
+why learn a second language, when you don't have anything interesting to say in your first one ?;2.2;2;2;2;4;1
+if your clock strikes thirteen , what time is it? time to get a new clock .;2.2;4;1;2;2;2
+Mom holding crying baby: He just needs to be changed. Me: Yeah hopefully into a puppy or something quieter;2.2;1;1;5;1;3
+Sometimes, I feel like driving north On parkway south;2.2;1;5;1;2;2
+so, when does this adulthood thing start then ?;2.2;2;4;1;3;1
+what's father christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents? santa pause !;2.2;2;3;3;1;2
+im not narcissistic. i'm perfect;2.2;2;1;4;3;1
+"I remember my grandfather's last words I remember my grandfather's last words: ""Is that loaded?""";2.2;1;5;1;3;1
+Why did the 'A' go to the bathroom and come out an 'E'? It had a vowel movement.;2.2;3;1;3;1;3
+i promise you that there are three types of people in this world. those who keep their promises , and those who don't;2.2;3;3;2;1;2
+Apparently Stephen Hawking is in hospital after he went on a date last night. She stood him up;2.2;2;1;4;2;2
+What's common between Hiroshima and Alabama? Kaboom!;2.2;1;3;1;5;1
+What do you call a Skyrim fan that is good at CSGO? Nova'kiin;2.2;1;3;3;2;2
+I collected a lot of data trying to disprove observation bias. The results were exactly what I expected.;2.2;2;4;2;1;2
+The turbaned man goes to the doctor... And the doctor asks his symptoms. He says he's sikh and in pain.;2.2;3;2;1;3;2
+You haven't Instagramed what you had for dinner yet? Please hurry up, the suspense is killing me.;2.2;4;1;3;2;1
+I was telling people about my Mona Lisa joke. but I wasn't getting much of a smile about it;2.2;2;4;1;2;2
+my wife tried on a dress, it did not fit . she bought a cake out of frustration . it fit .;2.2;2;2;4;1;2
+Where do dinosaurs get their pickles from? Vlasic Park;2.2;3;1;2;3;2
+a piece of me is missing. i guess that i should stop asking people if they want a piece of me;2.2;2;4;2;1;2
+You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.;2.0;1;3;3;2;1
+Who's Microsoft's favorite musician? Adele;2.0;3;1;1;2;3
+"Whenever two people argue over something, yell out ""OBJECTION"" and then contradict the one wearing something you don't like.";2.0;4;1;2;2;1
+Sometimes when I go to a buffet. I tip myself;2.0;2;1;4;2;1
+there's a lot of strange facts in this world if you think about it. for example , some people like when there's pulp in their orange juice;2.0;3;1;3;1;2
+do you remember when the most annoying thing on the internet was a dancing baby? yeah , good times;2.0;4;1;2;1;2
+if you weigh a whale at a whale weigh station , where do you weigh a pie? somewhere over the rainbow , weigh a pie .;2.0;2;3;2;1;2
+Wife: He only hears what he wants to hear... Therapist: Is this true? Me: She's right. Space Jam is the greatest movie of all time.;2.0;1;3;4;1;1
+What's the difference between Casper the ghost and Princess Diana? Casper could actually go through the wall!;2.0;1;3;3;2;1
+I walked into a homeware store. Came out with a jacket made of bricks and some shoes made of marble.;2.0;1;1;4;3;1
+What deadly disease can bowls contract? Ebowla;2.0;2;1;2;4;1
+"Why does the ""forever alone"" keep a beehive next to his bed? Because royal jelly comes in handy... you know, for lowering cholesterol.";2.0;2;1;3;2;2
+what kind of phone makes music? a saxophone .;2.0;2;3;1;2;2
+This year I'm giving out a Halloween treat every child loves: some stern advice.;2.0;2;2;2;2;2
+What happens when you throw a white hat into the Black Sea? The hat can't comment;2.0;1;1;5;2;1
+Waiter your tie is in my soup! That's all right sir it's not shrinkable.;2.0;2;2;2;2;2
+as a father, i would refuse to give my daughter away at her wedding on the grounds that i would have to be there .;2.0;1;2;1;3;3
+when my large dog wants to sit beside me but my other slightly less large dog already is, he just sits on top of him;2.0;3;2;2;2;1
+a man named time was hit in the neck by a turn right only sign it was right in the neck of time;2.0;4;2;2;1;1
+my mother in law : did you put the weight on? me : no threedots actually i've lost some . you should have seen me month ago . i looked like you;2.0;1;3;2;2;2
+"""When am I ever gonna use this?"" Asked the student to the algebra teacher ""Well you won't, but one of the smart kids might"" he replied cheerfully";2.0;1;3;2;2;2
+how do you make a fire with two sticks? you make sure one is a match !;2.0;1;1;3;2;3
+What's a magician's favorite Mexican dish? TosTADA!;2.0;1;2;2;4;1
+What is similar between the life of an Ethiopian kid and the hype of Call Of Duty: Infinite Warfare? They're practically non existent.;2.0;2;1;5;1;1
+Knock Knock Who's there ! Celeste ! Celeste who? Celeste time I lend you money !;2.0;2;1;3;1;3
+Why are bodybuilders great pallbearers? They're fantastic dead lifters;2.0;2;2;4;1;1
+so i read the dictionary the other day. turns out the zebra did it;2.0;1;2;2;2;3
+i took up guitar lessons recently . it's pretty simple, really . unless the song requires the blue button .;2.0;1;1;3;3;2
+Parenting Tip: Wear clothing with pockets so you can flip off your children inconspicuously.;2.0;2;1;2;3;2
+i'm in southern texas threedots threedots and it's so hot here, the trees are fighting over the dogs .;2.0;1;1;4;3;1
+"I dated a magician once; she put her hand on my leg and I turned into a motel.....";2.0;1;2;1;3;3
+My wife bought four grapefruit spoons. You know, for all those times in your life when there are four people eating grapefruit at once;2.0;2;2;4;1;1
+What is a dental hygienist's favorite subject? Flossophy.;2.0;2;2;2;1;3
+How do you advertise a motor home? A trailer;2.0;3;2;3;1;1
+You say tomato, I say summertime snowball.;2.0;1;3;2;2;2
+""" sir your resume says you can read minds . "" "" yup . and you're thinking ' why would he put that on a resume? ' "" "" oh . my . god . you're hired . """;2.0;1;2;3;1;3
+What's the similarity between a dog and a bulldozer? Neither one is a squirrel.;2.0;1;3;4;1;1
+How many pushups can Ryan Gosling do? All of them.;2.0;1;2;1;3;3
+What's the hardest part of making monster soup? Stirring it.;2.0;3;2;2;2;1
+What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs!;2.0;2;1;4;1;2
+hr : you're late. do you even know what time it is ? thor : hammer time ? hr : get out;2.0;1;1;2;2;4
+I finally found a girl who is like my mother in every way! I brought her home and wouldn't you know it... my dad doesn't like her;2.0;2;4;1;2;1
+Whats the difference between Michael Vics house and a Vet clinic. How long the dogs are underwater during a bath.;2.0;1;1;1;2;5
+I lay on the grass looking up at the clouds. 'That woolly one looks like a fist' I say, as Jack punches me again;2.0;1;5;1;2;1
+Why did the banana go to the hospital? It wasn't peeling well.;2.0;2;2;1;3;2
+Man people in London seem so depressed these days Or at least a little run down;2.0;1;2;4;1;2
+Why couldn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippy? He was too far out, man. ;2.0;4;1;1;3;1
+I was just outsmarted by a revolving door but sure, I'll be your baby's godmother.;2.0;2;2;1;4;1
+Have you heard the one about the jump rope? Meh... Just skip it.;2.0;1;3;1;4;1
+What is a Minnesotan's favorite state to vacation in? It's Alaska, don'Juneau.;2.0;4;2;2;1;1
+What's Paul McCartney's favourite food? Maccaroni;2.0;3;1;2;2;2
+I'm not paranoid, but I feel like there's someone reading this...;2.0;1;4;1;2;2
+i don't have bad handwriting. i have my own font;2.0;1;3;3;2;1
+What is the strongest and longest rope in the whole world? It's Europe. So long and also strong that it is binding all the EU countries.;2.0;1;1;4;3;1
+There are actually only two stages of parenthood: having children, and having children who can reach things on countertops.;2.0;2;1;1;4;2
+I'm a sailor There's this new girl conductor at the pier we pulled in yesterday. I wanted to ask her out, but she kept sending mixed signals.;2.0;1;3;2;2;2
+What medical specialty will start to experience large fluctuations in income from payers? Eurology;2.0;1;2;4;1;2
+Mute budgie for sale Not going cheap!;2.0;3;1;3;2;1
+What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit? Post on Sundays.;2.0;1;1;1;3;4
+wanna hear my construction joke? i'm still working on it threedots;2.0;1;2;2;3;2
+what do you call a can opener that doesn't work? a can't opener .;2.0;2;4;1;1;2
+Predator taking off his mask, but it's me removing the filters from my selfies.;2.0;2;1;1;5;1
+"""It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean. "" But it takes much longer to get to England on a rowboat";2.0;1;4;1;1;3
+What kind of a fish do you always find on a beach? A dead one...;2.0;1;1;2;2;4
+My sense of humor is a little crazy But the dragon rises into the potassium nitrate milkshake at sundown. It's a good day to be a helicopter;2.0;2;5;1;1;1
+it took more than two hours for RMS Titanic to go down. Let that 'sink' in.;2.0;1;3;1;2;3
+i got really hungry when we visited the alpaca farm, next time alpaca lunch .;2.0;2;2;2;2;2
+i was walking down the street, when someone threw a packet of cod liver oil at my head........ .......but i only suffered super fish oil injuries;2.0;2;1;2;3;2
+"Going to school  Mother: ""Did you enjoy your first day at school?"" Girl: ""First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow? ";2.0;1;4;1;3;1
+dreamed last night the world was running out of air . we figured out how to make it with carrots and broccoli . al gore, call me .;2.0;1;4;1;1;3
+What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare;2.0;4;1;3;1;1
+hey girl is there wifi here? cuz i feel a connection;2.0;4;1;1;1;3
+what did the police officer say to tom brady during a routine traffic stop? your tires are low .;2.0;3;2;2;1;2
+i think i left popcorn in the microwave too long and now it tastes funny. related : popcorn is my cat's name;2.0;1;3;1;4;1
+who do blind kids boo at wrestling events? john cena .;2.0;3;1;1;4;1
+this is your captain speaking . would someone who knows how to be a pilot please come up? i'm literally just pressing buttons .;2.0;2;4;1;2;1
+what do russian women get from their husbands that's long and hard on their wedding night? his last name .;2.0;1;4;2;1;2
+Knock Knock Who's there ! Anais ! Anais who? Anais cup of tea !;2.0;5;1;1;2;1
+it's not that i accept the terms and conditions. it's just that i would rather not spend the rest of my life reading them;2.0;1;1;4;2;2
+"Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Twitter. ""...you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave...""";2.0;2;3;1;3;1
+i love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want threedots;2.0;1;2;4;2;1
+Did you hear about the guy who illegally downloaded Free Fallin' and Refugee? He was charged with Petty theft.;2.0;2;1;1;2;4
+A quadriplegic goes on a blind date. And he gets stood up;2.0;2;3;1;2;2
+if you see someone crying, ask them if it is because of their haircut .;2.0;1;2;4;2;1
+what happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? it gets wet .;2.0;1;2;1;1;5
+How do you project confidence? Multiply by the cosine of the angle.;2.0;4;1;1;1;3
+When a newly married couple smile, everyone knows why. But when a fifteen year married couple smile every wonders why;2.0;2;2;2;1;3
+My friend says that I've lost touch with reality but I told the pillow, that was absurd and to lower his voice before he woke the avocado.;2.0;2;1;5;1;1
+"Best Fortune cookie ever: ""Person expecting sound advice from stale cookie probably make good dishwasher. Ask manager for application.""";2.0;2;1;1;1;5
+The only good part about choking to death on Teddy Grahams is your family can technically say you were killed by bears. Which sounds cool;2.0;1;2;1;4;2
+Why is the french AR longer than other rifels? So it's easier to mount the white flag on it.;2.0;2;2;2;1;3
+What did the podiatrist do when his dog got sick? He gave his pet a cure.;2.0;1;3;2;1;3
+Why don't lamps talk? They're antisocial lights.;2.0;1;2;3;2;2
+Knock Knock Who's there ? Cindy! Cindy who ? Cindy next one in please;1.8;1;1;4;1;2
+All dates are 'blind dates. ' The biological structure of fruit plants do not allow eye growth, therefore rendering them incapable of sight;1.8;1;1;2;1;4
+What kind of dog doesn't do well in hot weather? A faint Bernard!;1.8;1;2;2;3;1
+I asked my adopted son the name of the workshop the DCF found him in. Build a bear;1.8;1;2;1;4;1
+Where's the best place to explore? Rome.;1.8;3;1;1;1;3
+What currency do they use in outer space?  Starbucks;1.8;1;2;2;3;1
+q : why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian? a : because she loved children .;1.8;1;3;1;1;3
+Why did Captain Kirk take such a long time in the washroom? Because he was fighting the Klingons.;1.8;2;1;4;1;1
+Starting a diet is a lot like starting a lawn mower, you struggle and sweat and end up on the couch eating ice cream with your shirt off.;1.8;1;2;2;1;3
+"I answer with an automatic ""Yes"" each time my mom says ""Oh, have I told you...? "" I could miss out on something good but chances are slim.";1.8;1;2;2;1;3
+Is high blood pressure contagious? Because I think I'm getting it from my patients.;1.8;1;1;2;4;1
+pokemon go servers yeah, that's it .;1.8;1;1;1;1;5
+Sometimes I log into Facebook from a desktop computer, just to see what it is like to live how our ancestors used to.;1.8;1;2;1;4;1
+My boss decided to give me some more responsibility. From now on, I'm responsible for everything that goes wrong;1.8;2;1;1;4;1
+i'm lactose intolerant, which means i rarely find missing children .;1.8;2;4;1;1;1
+I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it;1.8;1;2;3;1;2
+My wife was on eBay this afternoon. No bids yet;1.8;1;2;2;3;1
+mum : how can you practice your trumpet and listen to the radio at the same time? son : easy . i have two ears !;1.8;3;1;2;1;2
+Me: Girls' night in!!! Cat: I'm a cat. Me: You're my best friend. Cat: I'm not even a girl cat. Me: So it's like a date? Cat: Get help.;1.8;1;2;1;1;4
+when i was young i wanted to be smart, like my dad threedots he also wants to be smart !;1.8;2;1;1;4;1
+"""It's possible to touch birds! "" I say suddenly. My coworkers stare at me. I wander outside to touch some birds.";1.8;2;3;1;1;2
+what does batman use to wash his hair? conditioner gordon .;1.8;2;2;3;1;1
+you know what they say, the secret to a good relationship is never going to bed married .;1.8;1;1;3;3;1
+knock knock who's there ! army ant ! army ant who? army ants coming for tea then;1.8;3;1;1;2;2
+I come from a small town. I come from a town where the population never changes. Everytime a kid is born, some guy leaves town. Old Rodney Dangerfield...;1.8;1;5;1;1;1
+""" i can't believe it's not butter! "" could be a disappointed statement as well . i'd like the context before i buy .";1.8;1;1;4;1;2
+I like my woman like I like my shoelaces. Curvy, loose, and easy to finger;1.8;1;1;1;5;1
+difference between good girls and bad girls good girls open few buttons in hot atmosphere, but bad girls open all buttons to make the atmosphere hot .;1.8;3;1;2;1;2
+Why don't soldiers wear yellow and pink? They'd get too much flak for it.;1.8;2;2;1;1;3
+Wife said she wasn't going to breadtfeed until after dar.. Sorry baby, today is the start of Mamadan. Edit: a letter;1.8;2;4;1;1;1
+"I'm very generous when it comes to giving to charity. I always say, ""No, thank you. I'm not interested. But thank you for considering me, good day.""";1.8;1;1;4;2;1
+whenever you're feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there's people that pay money to exercise .;1.8;1;2;1;4;1
+Admit it. You get a small rush of happiness when your crush likes your Facebook status;1.8;1;2;4;1;1
+I guess you can say Grant Thompson Had bad rng...;1.8;1;2;2;1;3
+there's a new machine at my gym. i used it , but after an hour i started feeling sick threedots it's got snickers , cheetos , peanuts threedots everything !;1.8;2;1;2;3;1
+My mom called and gave me the weekly weather report. I can't wait to do this to my kids;1.8;2;1;1;3;2
+driving on highway wife : you just missed a right. me : thanks babe you just mrs right;1.8;1;2;1;1;4
+i started dating an optometrist, but she left me threedots she just said she couldn't see me anymore .;1.8;2;3;2;1;1
+Tip: Instead of doing that thing where you obviously crop your ex out of the photo, you could actually just take a new picture.;1.8;1;2;2;1;3
+""" it's our third date and you still wear that shirt? "" honey , this all they have in prison .";1.8;2;1;1;2;3
+I tried to download an ATV. But it was a bit Buggy;1.8;1;3;2;2;1
+Fizzy Pop The socially acceptable way to gas juice.;1.8;1;3;3;1;1
+what did the blue crab call his ex girlfriend? old bay;1.8;1;4;1;2;1
+Recently I was playing Zelda on the SNES It really was a link to the past.;1.8;1;2;1;1;4
+Knock Knock Who's there ! Crispin ! Crispin who? Crispin crunchy is how I like my apples !;1.8;1;3;3;1;1
+I used to be a race car driver, and won a lot of races by spinning out the opponents. I guess you could say I have a checkered past.;1.8;1;2;4;1;1
+"My new girlfriend seems to be into roleplay Last night, she couldn't stop shouting ""who are you"" and ""Where's the free candy""";1.8;2;1;1;4;1
+lf you can only be good at one thing, be good at cheating. because if you're good at cheating, you're good at everything;1.8;1;2;3;2;1
+"""The katana the greatest sword of all time folded over a thousand times to be able to cut through anything."" Didnt cut through those two bombs though";1.8;1;1;1;3;3
+No James, that isn't a giant peach... ...that is Nicki Minaj walking away from us.;1.8;5;1;1;1;1
+It's kinda funny being told what to do By a people who routinely do not do what they are told to do.;1.8;1;4;1;1;2
+i read an actual newspaper today! for those of you who don't understand , a newspaper is like the internet but made of paper .;1.8;1;1;4;2;1
+I think there's nothing cooler than being a lone wolf. except at wolf picnics, when you don't have a partner for the wolf wheelbarrow races;1.8;3;1;2;2;1
+You're good, Adobe Acrobat. You're fine just the way you are. No need to continue updating every three days.;1.8;1;2;3;2;1
+I had this great joke about Thor. but thinking about it now, it's actually really low key;1.8;1;1;4;2;1
+What city loves to eat sandwiches? Koldcutta;1.8;1;2;2;1;3
+What movie did Leonardo DiCaprio's dog recently star in? The Woof of Wall Street.;1.8;1;3;1;1;3
+What makes a joke bad? redundancy.;1.8;2;2;2;1;2
+q : what's red and looks like a bucket? a : a red bucket .;1.8;2;1;1;4;1
+i can tell a train has been through here recently threedots you know how i can tell? cause there is its tracks .;1.8;1;1;1;3;3
+"""Do you need a ride? "" Me, to every jogger I pass in my car";1.8;2;3;2;1;1
+Some people say that I never got over my obsession with Phil Collins. But take a look at me now.;1.8;2;3;1;2;1
+what do you call a rabbit who tells jokes? a funny bunny;1.8;1;2;3;1;2
+How do you stop a metal from rusting? Use some antioxidants;1.8;3;3;1;1;1
+you know how dogs think , when you leave , that you're never coming back? that's how i feel when i leave the house for work every morning .;1.8;1;4;1;1;2
+What's the difference between woman's rights and suicides? There are too many.;1.8;1;1;5;1;1
+a kid came to my door earlier dressed like a mime, so i pretended to put candy in his basket .;1.8;3;2;2;1;1
+I left my girlfriend because she used to demand for unrealistic things... Last time she asked for rights.;1.8;3;1;3;1;1
+what is the best thing to take when you're run over? the number of the car that hit you .;1.8;2;2;2;1;2
+Cause of death is still a mystery. Authorities haven't ruled out foul play, after finding prince at the scene;1.8;1;2;1;3;2
+just finished leg day with my new trainer and now i need to replace the stairs in my house with an elevator. or shower in the kitchen sink ?;1.8;1;3;1;3;1
+Why was the Windows PC broke? It ran out of cache.;1.8;1;2;3;1;2
+i get carried away sometimes. because i refuse to leave;1.8;4;1;1;1;2
+What do you do if your elephant has zits? Take him to a pachydermatologist.;1.8;1;1;3;1;3
+What Beer does Mr. Potato Head drink? Spud Lite;1.8;2;1;1;2;3
+I knew she'd been working at the foundry. because I smelter;1.8;1;3;2;1;2
+I heard something about a Finding Dory Trailer being released today, but I forgot...;1.8;1;3;1;2;2
+i fell on my arm and had to have an operation on my funny bone. i was in stitches for two weeks;1.8;1;1;1;3;3
+what should you do if you are on a picnic with king kong? give him the biggest bananas .;1.8;3;1;2;1;2
+doctor doctor my sister thinks she is a lift! well tell her to come in i can't she doesn't stop at this floor;1.8;2;1;2;2;2
+"A mountain was next to another mountain.. An earthquake happens and one of the mountains say.. ""It wasn't my fault! "" credit to my awesome science teacher";1.8;1;2;4;1;1
+FB is the Flanders of social media, Twitter is Moe.;1.8;2;2;2;2;1
+I've learned so much from my mistakes. I'm thinking of making some more;1.8;1;4;1;2;1
+Facebook tells me those vans are dangerous, but Twitter says they have candy. So conflicted;1.8;1;2;3;2;1
+What do you call a tv show about female puberty? A Breasted Development;1.8;4;1;1;2;1
+Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof? Because he wanted to feel his oats!;1.8;4;1;1;1;2
+Legends don't die. I am a living example;1.8;1;4;2;1;1
+A child walked into my bar today Good. My blindfold is working perfectly.;1.8;1;1;3;1;3
+why did the scuba diver drop out of graduate school? because he was always below a c;1.8;2;1;1;3;2
+Neil Degrasse Tyson and Mike Tyson have something common. I don't understand what either one is saying, but I know I'll end up seeing stars;1.8;1;1;1;4;2
+think you're smart? try explaining daylight savings time to a kid .;1.8;1;3;2;2;1
+I've never run a marathon, but once I walked real fast across a parking lot because Krispy Kreme was about to close.;1.8;1;2;2;2;2
+a jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend. if she doesn't get jealous when someone has your attention , it's because someone has hers;1.8;1;1;1;2;4
+Some people live life in the fast lane. You're in oncoming traffic;1.8;1;3;2;1;2
+i planted a whole garden full of bird seed this year and not one bird came up. i quit;1.8;2;3;1;1;2
+I'm having real problems with a sleep paralysis condition lately. In fact ..Its turning out to be a nightmare.;1.8;3;1;3;1;1
+At the Special Olympics they don't use starter pistols. They use Spud Guns;1.8;1;3;2;2;1
+I just thought of this masterpiece... No. No, I didn't because nobody here is ever original.;1.6;2;1;2;2;1
+I'm trying to bring a taco into this club. let's see if the bouncer finds it when he frisks me;1.6;1;2;1;3;1
+hey guys , wanna hear a joke? reddit servers .;1.6;1;2;1;2;2
+Yo mama's so old. Her age has to be expressed in scientific notation;1.6;3;2;1;1;1
+Anthony Bourdain went to parts unknown. And he had no reservations on doing so.;1.6;2;1;1;2;2
+Michael Bay has just recently announced the title of his next gritty reboot of a kids TV show: Ed, Edd, and Edgy;1.6;3;1;1;2;1
+What happened when the fat woman backed into the airplane propeller? Disaster.;1.6;1;1;1;2;3
+Joke, Joke, Joke. Which one is the funniest? The first one. The others are just reposts.;1.6;1;1;4;1;1
+Who's the artist you find in the supermarket? Salvador Deli;1.6;3;1;2;1;1
+I didn't really enjoy my first kiss Because I forgot to take the duct tape off ;1.6;1;1;1;4;1
+dating must've been so easy for cavemen . this my cave . this my fire . you like rock? i have many .;1.6;2;2;1;2;1
+What does Drew Carey have in his driveway? Cleveland Rocks!;1.6;1;2;1;3;1
+her : i just read this really funny thing on fb. me : no you didn't;1.6;4;1;1;1;1
+I giveth, and I taketh away. Why? Because I recycleth.;1.6;2;1;3;1;1
+Ran out of Manila envelops. Off to the Philippines;1.6;2;1;2;1;2
+how is evolution and a union construction job similar? they take so long that some people don't believe they don't work .;1.6;1;2;2;1;2
+knock knock who's there ! cereal ! cereal who? cereal pleasure to meet you !;1.6;2;1;2;2;1
+I'm just waiting for a bold, courageous restaurant that IS responsible for lost or stolen items.;1.6;1;1;2;1;3
+"Engineers: ""okay, so we agree the space between the seat and the console will allow people to see what they dropped but never retrieve it""";1.6;2;2;1;2;1
+For sale: The Complete Enlopdiea Brittania Reason: No longer needed. Wife knows everything;1.6;1;1;1;4;1
+Me and my girlfriend went to bush gardens.. but they said she was too young for the rides;1.6;3;1;1;1;2
+"what did the cookie farmer say? "" i've been raisin ' cookies . """;1.6;1;2;2;2;1
+i just bought an answering machine and it doesn't work. or maybe i'm just asking it the wrong questions;1.6;1;1;2;1;3
+wanna read a joke about procrastination? i'll type it later .;1.6;1;1;2;1;3
+Blizzard You know your girl has strong head game when she can eat a blizzard through a straw;1.6;1;1;4;1;1
+You know you have a problem when you go through this sub and have seen all these jokes before Lmao I really need help;1.6;2;1;3;1;1
+What do all the Smiths in the telephone book have in common? They all have telephones...;1.6;2;1;1;1;3
+My nearby care home just burnt down with everyone in it. Hope the grocer's is in stock for repopulation.;1.6;1;1;1;1;4
+What did the beef broth say to the chicken broth? What flavor au jus;1.6;1;2;2;1;2
+How many Hipster's does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, just some number you've probably never heard of.;1.6;1;3;1;1;2
+what's the difference between an apple? a bike because a vest has no sleeves .;1.6;1;1;3;1;2
+what's faster than light? darkness , my old friend .;1.6;1;1;1;3;2
+What is the big hairy thing between Napoleon's legs? His horse Marengo;1.6;1;2;3;1;1
+This sub was better when nobody could comment title;1.6;2;2;1;1;2
+what's the mating call of a sorority girl? o my god ! i am so drunk .;1.6;3;1;2;1;1
+You know, I always really liked Meatloaf I've never had any beef with him;1.6;1;2;1;1;3
+whatever happened to robot jones? he got cancelled .;1.6;1;1;1;4;1
+"It's my daughter's birthday today... ...so I wrapped up some batteries, with a note saying, ""Toys not included!""";1.6;1;2;3;1;1
+Is Santa Clause real? Because the zero's on my bank statement are.;1.6;1;1;2;1;3
+While single, focus on becoming a better person instead of focusing on finding someone better than your ex. A better you will attract a better next;1.6;1;3;1;1;2
+Why did the girl loaf of stale bread slap the boy loaf of stale bread? Because he tried to get fresh.;1.6;1;2;3;1;1
+What's The Difference Between Larry Hogan And An Iraqi Child? Larry Hogan gets back from the hospital.;1.6;1;1;1;4;1
+my dad called to ask if sending an email to the usa costs more. i told him a lot more , better not risk it;1.6;1;2;1;3;1
+You've probably heard this joke before. It's hilearious;1.6;1;2;1;2;2
+why did the hipster cross the road? to get to a place you've probably never heard of .;1.6;2;2;1;1;2
+what's long and hard and makes women cry at night? crib death .;1.6;1;2;1;2;2
+I did a marathon the other day. You might ask how I went I ran;1.6;1;1;3;2;1
+I think I'm psychic. Now now I know what you're thinking;1.6;2;2;2;1;1
+there are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds , and chuck norris .;1.6;1;1;2;1;3
+I'm not schizophrenic. And neither am I.;1.6;1;1;1;3;2
+In the jungle, the mighty jungle. Cecil sleeps forever;1.6;3;1;2;1;1
+what do you call the rabbit up the elephant's sweater? terrified !;1.6;2;3;1;1;1
+what time is it when yo mama sits on a chair? time to buy a new chair .;1.6;3;1;2;1;1
+Whats the difference between your uncle and a counselor? Don't have to pay the uncle.;1.6;1;2;2;1;2
+How did the man drown in a bowl of muesli? A strong currant pulled him in.;1.6;1;1;2;3;1
+I had a joke. But I lost my plane of thought;1.6;2;1;1;1;3
+why did fred put band aids in the refrigerator? he wanted cold cuts .;1.6;1;3;1;1;2
+It'll be a cold day in hell. Cloudy in purgatory, with a slight chance of rain. And clear skies up in heaven. Now over to Jim with sports.;1.6;3;1;2;1;1
+Hi, my name is Ivanna. Hi, My Name Is Ivanna Humpalot;1.6;3;2;1;1;1
+Replaced a window the other day... .. I really had no idea what I was doing, so it turned out to be a royal pane in the sash.;1.6;1;1;2;2;2
+I found a ghost passed out on my stairs last night. He must have been really into the boos! Happy October;1.4;2;2;1;1;1
+teacher : where is your homework? pupil : i was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything i had;1.4;1;3;1;1;1
+What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour? A fuel injected pickle.;1.4;1;2;1;2;1
+"i put on my favorite disco album yesterday . my wife tried telling me disco was dead . i said "" no honey, it's not . you're thinking of your mother .";1.4;1;1;1;3;1
+Yearly subreddit survey Post a comment if you think the mods are doing a good job ;1.4;1;1;3;1;1
+how do you get reddit to improve their search function? have cnn report on how bad it is;1.4;1;2;1;1;2
+What did Leonardo DiCaprio say when he planted a seed? Inception;1.4;1;1;2;2;1
+What do you call an experiment? Seeing if you can unlock your own post.;1.4;1;2;2;1;1
+How does a burger acquire good taste? With a little seasoning!;1.4;1;1;2;1;2
+Picture someone stepping down off a curb that they didn't realize was there. Now you can say you've seen me dance;1.4;1;3;1;1;1
+"A teacher asks her students, ""what do you call a person who makes bad decisions?"" All of the students then replied, in unison, ""Billy Holliday.""";1.4;1;2;1;1;2
+I tried clicking on the 'NEW' tab. It just said 'Nothing to see here';1.4;1;2;1;1;2
+My fourth grade teacher told me I would use cursive at least once a week, but she was wrong. I use it every day when food is delivered to my house;1.4;1;1;1;3;1
+what's the difference between a woman and bacon threedots? you can't beat bacon threedots !;1.4;1;1;1;3;1
+is is best to do your homework on an empty stomach or a full stomach? it's best to do it on paper .;1.4;1;1;1;2;2
+if you still talk about it, you still care about it .;1.4;1;1;1;3;1
+a mattress will double in weight after six years, just like everything else i sleep with !;1.4;1;3;1;1;1
+how did the hillbilly find his sister in the woods? pretty hot .;1.4;1;1;1;1;3
+How does Sylvester Stallone start his brunch? First, Bloody Mary;1.4;1;2;1;1;2
+Can't afford Sea World, so I took my kid to a fish market. Me: 'Shhh, they're asleep' 'Mom, they're breaded' Me: 'That's their blankie';1.4;2;1;1;1;2
+what do planets read? comet books .;1.4;1;1;3;1;1
+how can you make seven even? take away the letter s .;1.4;1;3;1;1;1
+A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help I'm doing my part!;1.4;1;1;2;1;2
+wow she actually noticed me! time to pick a different tree .;1.4;1;3;1;1;1
+How did Paul McCartney get Linda pregnant? C Moon;1.4;1;2;1;1;2
+what's with the attitude? i don't know what's gotten into you but i know what hasn't .;1.4;1;1;2;1;2
+My newest million dollar idea involves crowdsourcing. So, who has a million dollar idea for me?;1.4;2;1;1;1;2
+What did Ronda Rousey's face look like after her fight with Holly Holm? It was all broused up!;1.4;1;1;1;1;3
+i was asked to help design the first monopoly board threedots i thought, i'll give it a go .;1.4;2;1;1;1;2
+Knock Knock Who's there ! Brigham ! Brigham who? Drigham back my sunshine back to me... !;1.4;1;3;1;1;1
+FREE WORLD There are currently no mods nor any automod rules. Let's see how it goes.;1.4;3;1;1;1;1
+What breed of dog will unlock your front door?  Yorkie;1.4;2;1;2;1;1
+q . what do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? a . a rebel without a clue !;1.4;1;2;2;1;1
+You know how I know Al Gore invented the Internet? The whole thing runs on algorithms;1.4;1;2;1;2;1
+did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden? threedots a month later he was picking his teeth;1.4;1;1;2;1;2
+ok fine , i'll weigh in: every museum needs to lose that one room that's just old bowls .;1.4;1;1;1;2;2
+what do you call sandpaper in iraq? a map .;1.4;1;1;1;3;1
+Why did Hawking have a droopy head? Vegetables wilt when you put them out for too long;1.4;1;1;1;1;3
+how can you go without sleep for seven days and not be tired? sleep at night;1.4;1;2;2;1;1
+What does Sonic the Hedgehog wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo;1.4;1;1;3;1;1
+What do you call the mean and dusty winds of the desert? Darude Sandstorm;1.4;1;2;1;1;2
+i dated a woman once. most confusing twenty minutes of my life;1.4;1;1;2;1;2
+why couldn't the computer play golf? threedots threedots because it had the wrong driver;1.4;1;1;1;3;1
+what do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone? popular;1.4;1;2;1;1;2
+the less you love a woman, the faster your hand gets tired .;1.4;3;1;1;1;1
+Old enough to have a lemonade sale, Old enough to take home and rail.;1.4;3;1;1;1;1
+What do you get when you subtract the date and time that Tony Stark built an AI from the current date and time? The Age Of Ultron.;1.4;1;2;1;2;1
+"Have you heard about Bruce Willis' new movie in which he has to infiltrate a Nunnery? ""Bad Habits Die Hard.""";1.4;1;1;1;1;3
+Knock Knock Who's there ! Claude ! Claude who? Claudework Orange !;1.4;1;2;2;1;1
+"if "" loving you "" is wrong, then i don't want to be right !";1.4;2;1;1;1;2
+noses are red , violets are blue. it ain't love darling , you got flu;1.4;1;1;1;1;3
+What's the difference between Rick Grimes and Carl Grimes? Rick Grimes has two I's....;1.4;1;3;1;1;1
+What does a strawberry and a blueberry have in common? They both can't ride a bicycle!;1.4;3;1;1;1;1
+are you sitting down? i don't have anything to tell you , i'm just curious .;1.2;1;2;1;1;1
+The guy I cheat off moved seats before today's spelling test, like he's teaching me some kind of lessen.;1.2;1;1;1;1;2
+how do you say nachos in english? mine !;1.2;2;1;1;1;1
+MEMO TO GIRLS: It is not cold in here. You are a girl;1.2;1;2;1;1;1
+What goes stomp, stomp, stomp, squish? An elephant with a wet boot;1.2;1;1;1;2;1
+"i just listened to the album ""The Palpable Leprosy of Pollution"", It really described my life in a nutshell.";1.2;1;2;1;1;1
+"""Ow that dog just nipped at me"" PEE ON IT! ""No man NO STOP THAT DOESN'T WORK FOR EVERYTHING"" I'M HERE FOR YA BUDDY";1.2;1;1;1;1;2
+if you never jumped from couch to couch as kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood .;1.2;1;1;1;2;1
+i don't downvote. it's bad karma;1.2;1;2;1;1;1
+if you really loved your kids , you would teach them to say their alphabet forwards and backwards. they'll thank you later;1.2;1;1;1;1;2
+This joke isn't creative or funny. Just like the mods;1.2;1;1;1;1;2
+"chestor bennington , robin williams who wore ""it"" better?";1.2;1;2;1;1;1
+so, tim cook came out of the cloud ?;1.2;1;1;2;1;1
+Couldn't get to the gym and gained a bit of belly fat this semester. I just had too much on my plate;1.2;2;1;1;1;1
+there is too much freedom in this country, we need more expensive smart .;1.2;2;1;1;1;1
+friends are forever. until they get in a relationship;1.2;1;1;1;1;2
+there are hundreds of ways to make a woman happy and only one to make a man happy: leave him alone .;1.2;1;1;2;1;1
+Roses are red. Roses are red, downvotes are blue, speaking of downvotes, here's one for you;1.2;1;1;1;2;1
+Gen Z What else were U expecting?;1.2;1;1;1;2;1
+What did Kermit the Frog say when Jim Henson died? ...nothing.;1.2;1;1;1;2;1
+Cheerios got rid of the nut Now you got to add your own;1.2;1;1;2;1;1
+How do you know Little Miss Muffet was a bodybuilder? She was always eating her curds and whey.;1.2;1;1;2;1;1
+Steak puns. a rare medium well done;1.2;1;1;1;1;2
+Why is a hamburger better than a shooting star? It's meteor.;1.2;1;1;2;1;1
+Jokes . . . . I need some jokes to crack my ultra resistant friends, Please Help! P.S I don't care whether they are rude or not.;1.2;2;1;1;1;1
+Did you hear the one about Phillip Hughes? He was the first Australian to die of a bowler.;1.2;1;1;1;2;1
+I'm really not a fan of Mayweather but. It's actually perfect outside so I cant complain;1.2;2;1;1;1;1
+it was the middle ages. there's no way rapunzel didn't have lice;1.2;1;1;1;1;2
+"There is a new Apple product in the Rogue One teaser trailer We don't know what it is yet, but at least now we know its name. ""iRebel""";1.2;1;1;1;2;1
+the seven wonders of the ancient world were: chuck norris ' left and right hands , his left and right feet , his belly button , his liver , and his beard .;1.2;1;1;2;1;1
+I'm trying to remember what that soup is called, the kind with chicken and rice.... Oh yeah! Chinken Noodle;1.2;2;1;1;1;1
+Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One.;1.2;2;1;1;1;1
+Don't worry, Pope Benedict XVI, I get it. Mondays make me want to quit my job too;1.2;1;1;1;2;1
+I just heard Avici died. Oh, man... ;1.2;1;1;1;2;1
+You're the only one who understands me, last remaining sleeve of Oreo cookies.;1.2;2;1;1;1;1
+The waiting list for the WiiU. Just got shorter in Conneticut;1.2;1;1;2;1;1
+is there anything better than being fit and healthy? yes . pizza and beer .;1.2;1;1;2;1;1
+An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.;1.2;2;1;1;1;1
+climb mountains not so the world can see you, but so you can see the world .;1.2;1;1;2;1;1
+Black Honestly, I just wanted to see how the automod worked. Have a good day.;1.2;2;1;1;1;1
+Knock Knock Who's there ! Balloon ! Balloon who? Balloon velvet !;1.2;1;1;1;2;1
+the smarter the person, the less they tell you about it .;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me. now if i were a diamond ring , where would i hide threedots;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+My baby made the bed all by himself.... Unfortunately, he used a big brown sheet. ;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+Son: Are you going anywhere Dad? Dad: No, I'm going to Romania.;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+q : what's the difference between a duck? a : one of its legs is both the same .;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+Funniest YouTube channel? Mark Fitzgibben, Brandon Berg or BroKaine ? XDDD;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+Can we remove automod? The only thing it does is remove posts with keywords. ;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall? Ulta Magnus!;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+any jokes i can tell my teachers? i would love some jokes to tell to my teachers : d;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+Guys socialize by making fun of each other, but they don't mean it. Girls socialize by giving compliments to each other but they don't meant it either;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+we can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone .;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+About the comments Why are there so many removed comments, I'm new here and is there a joke I'm missing?;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+Vulnerability is the last thing I want you to see in me, and the first thing I look for in you.;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+Hmm yeah I tend to agree Thanks for the help!;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+I tidied my room and made my bed today! Mommy promised me McDonalds! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love mcdonalds;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+the lizard child: funny youtube videos;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+I hope so Is this sub good now?;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+a redditor walked into a we took too long to load this page for you. try again and hopefully we'll be fast enough this time;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+I bought a girl at an auction She had no teeth;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
+glad everyone is done talking about the fight. now how about that may weather ?;1.0;1;1;1;1;1
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