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+MATT: Welcome to Critical Role, where a bunch of
+us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
+
+Dungeons & Dragons.
+
+TRAVIS: Dungeons & Dragons!
+
+MATT: Travis is in a good mood. Glad you guys can
+join us. Before we jump into tonight’s episode,
+
+let’s get through some quick announcements. First
+and foremost, we have our first sponsor for the
+
+evening: our recurring friends at the wondrous D&D
+Beyond. Sam, you said you were prepared in advance
+
+for this one.
+
+SAM: Well, I’ve been getting a lot of questions
+lately about, like, how do you write these ad
+
+things? I make it sound like, “Oh, I just come up
+with it on the fly!” It’s not true. I spend a lot
+
+of time. In fact, I have a file here of rejected
+ads that I didn’t deem good enough to use to
+
+promote our friends at D&D Beyond. dndbeyond.com.
+Go there, sign up, use their service like we do.
+
+Here’s just a few. I’m just going to rifle through
+my files. This one’s terrible. It was a pirate
+
+one, I was going to wear an eye patch, and go,
+“Ahoy and welcome to D&D be-yarrrgh! Grab your
+
+“duffel, set the binnacle and follow the
+freebooters to DnD beyond dot carrrrrrm!” But it
+
+didn’t make sense.
+
+LAURA: No, that’s terrible.
+
+SAM: This one was– I was going to do a Travis
+impression.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh!
+
+SAM: “Yo bros, how about that Cowboys game, right?
+When Prescott hit Hurns on that outside post-route?”
+
+TRAVIS: Hurns doesn’t play for them yet.
+
+SAM: Fuck. “I nearly spilled my Natty Lite all
+over my Emmitt Smith commemorative Snuggie.”
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a Troy Aikman Snuggie!
+
+SAM: “Man, I love sports. The smell of grass, the
+sound of marching bands, the sight of 22 men
+
+"pounding each other for–” All right. Here’s an
+early draft of the now-famous D&D Beyond jingle. I
+
+went through many drafts of the lyrics before I
+landed on the primo ones that we got.
+
+(sings) You got your perfect wizard, his tomes and his
+supplies. But he burned his entire family to death
+
+and now he’s traumatized.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I thought that was a little too dark.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: This one? What was this one? Our tests
+indicate that your rash has spread to the groin
+
+ar– Nope, that’s not it. That was a different
+file. I had this one, this one’s really
+
+conceptual. Here, I’ll do it. Matt.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: Matt.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: Matt.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: Matt.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: That’s all it says. It just keeps going and
+saying Matt. It wouldn’t have worked! This is why
+
+it’s rejected! Oh, this one. This one is specific
+for–
+
+MATT: Very Tim and Eric of you, I respect that.
+
+SAM: We’re all excited to meet Laura and Travis’s
+baby.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay.
+
+SAM: So I consulted with some computer whizzes. We
+did some facial recognition to find out what their
+
+baby might look like.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+MARISHA: Please tell me this is true.
+
+LAURA: No, what did you do?
+
+SAM: It’s got Travis’s eyes, Laura’s eyebrows, and
+why don’t you just feast your eyes?
+
+LAURA: Oh jeez.
+
+SAM: On this beauty.
+
+LAURA: That is so terrifying.
+
+TRAVIS: That is some Planet of the Apes.
+
+LAURA: It looks like a ferengi from Star Trek.
+
+SAM: It is definitely your mouth. That’s Travis’s
+beard.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s like just the chin strap part. That’s
+really Abe Lincoln of me.
+
+SAM: Then the other one I had was flowers for you
+to say sorry for that last bit.
+
+LAURA: Aww, they’re wonderful. They’re real!
+
+SAM: That concludes the file, that’s all I’ve got.
+The other things in here were just the pictures
+
+that I cut out.
+
+LAURA: Oh jeez, that’s all–
+
+SAM: Yep.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I like that one.
+
+SAM: This is the final one. There’s more rejected
+ones, but I’ll read you those another day.
+
+MATT: There we go.
+
+LIAM: BB! I want shaved ice, BB!
+
+SAM: I got my flask for tonight.
+
+LAURA: You asshole.
+
+MARISHA: Anthony Kiedis! That’s who that picture
+looked like! I had to remember his name. Show it
+
+again! It’s Anthony Kiedis! I’m just saying!
+
+MATT: Yeah, I can see it.
+
+LAURA: The flowers are a little more bitter right
+now.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it is.
+
+MARISHA: Look look look!
+
+TRAVIS: That’s Anthony Kiedis.
+
+SAM: It really is Anthony Kiedis. We’ll do a side
+by side. We’ll put it on Twitter. We’ll post it
+
+later. But all of that is to say, D&D Beyond.
+Thank you.
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam. Thank you, D&D Beyond.
+
+TRAVIS: What a look into the future. And what a
+bright future at that.
+
+MATT: Our second sponsor for the night actually
+comes from inside the family. Those of you who are
+
+familiar with our first campaign got to see him
+performing as Garthok for one of our guest
+
+episodes, and he’s been on a number of shows here
+at Geek & Sundry. He helped write the theme song
+
+for Critical Role. Actually, he wrote the theme
+song for our show, amongst many other songs for
+
+the series. Jason Charles Miller has a new album
+coming out this week called In the Wasteland.
+
+SAM: That’s amazing.
+
+MATT: The art looks really cool, the design there.
+It’s available now. You can find it wherever else
+
+music is streamed or sold; you can buy an
+autographed physical CD copy of it from Jason’s
+
+website, which is jasoncharlesmiller.com. If you
+like rock, country or metal music, anything in
+
+between, you’ll probably like this album. If
+you’ve ever heard his previous work, it’s pretty
+
+badass actually. I’m very picky with my music and
+his stuff is great so check it out, I hope you
+
+like it. We have a great little video at the break
+also to discuss this fantastic album. So thank
+
+you, Jason, and I hope you guys enjoy his new
+stuff. Moving on. We made the really exciting
+
+announcement earlier this week. If you haven’t
+seen: we launched our new online store and we’re
+
+working on brand new shows for our YouTube
+and Twitch channel.
+
+LAURA: Are none of us wearing the new shirt?
+
+SAM: Oh wow.
+
+MARISHA: Shit.
+
+TRAVIS: (with mouth full of food) I’ll put it on
+at the break. I’ve got it right here. I’ll put it
+
+on when we get to the break. I’ll put it on.
+
+LAURA: Wow.
+
+LIAM: Gobble Gobble.
+
+LAURA: Keep going, Matt.
+
+MATT: We have also put up on Critrole.com shop the
+new Mighty Nein shirt. It’s already selling out
+
+really fast in a lot of sizes, but we already have
+more ordered that are coming in, so we’ll update
+
+you guys as soon as those come in.
+
+LAURA: Only small, medium and 4XL are sold out
+right now. Everything else is still in there.
+
+MATT: If you are of those sizes that are sold out,
+we’ll have more soon. We’re super excited about
+
+all the things coming up. Critical Role and Talks
+Machina will still be here on the Geek & Sundry
+
+Twitch and in Alpha, so do not worry. All the new
+stuff will be coming on our own channels and let
+
+you guys know as soon as things come forward.
+Super stoked about that. Also, wanted to let you
+
+guys know friends of ours in the community, I know
+that some of you guys are familiar with Web DM
+
+they do fantastic work, fantastic streams and
+they’re doing, on June 24th at 1:00pm Central
+
+Time, this weekend, a fantastic fundraiser D&D
+stream. With a wonderful all-female cast: we have
+
+Satine Phoenix, Lysa Chen, Autumn Umphress, Syd
+Shields and the DM Emma Lambert will be running
+
+for the benefit of The Girls Empowerment Network
+in Texas. Tune in at twitch.tv/webdm or
+
+twitch.tv/criticalrole. We’ll be hosting them as
+well so you can check it out. It’s going to be a
+
+wonderful game with good people involved and a
+great charitable event that you can help be a part
+
+of the cause. So look forward to that.
+
+LIAM: Not to be confused with WebMD.
+
+MATT: No. The standard editions of Vox Machina:
+Origins, the comic, are still available through
+
+Geek & Sundry and Alpha online shops. Details are
+at critrole.com. Talks Machina is every Tuesday
+
+evening at 7:00PM Pacific where our fantastic host
+Brian W. Foster talks about the episode that’s
+
+happening tonight next week. Watch us next week
+and a few of us will be there, present, to discuss
+
+what will transpire. I believe that is it and that
+is all for the announcements. Anything else guys
+
+or shall we–?
+
+SAM: Short and sweet.
+
+MATT: Then, without further ado: let’s jump in to
+tonight’s episode of Critical Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome back. That’s
+good. Last we left off: The Mighty Nein had
+
+completed their first of two ventures they agreed
+to complete in the name of The Gentleman. Heading
+
+northward towards Berleben, traversing the
+dangerous Labenda Swamp, freeing the once
+
+endangered safe house from the encroaching merrow
+dangers that had destroyed and decimated the
+
+people that were working there at the time and
+freeing it up for future use. You had acquired a
+
+bird friend in the tiny Kiri that is along with
+you, dagger in hand.
+
+TRAVIS: Six hit points.
+
+MATT: Yeah. That’s fine. You’ll be fine.
+
+MARISHA: She’s going to die.
+
+MATT: You gathered your things and went back to
+the open road where you headed to the crossroads,
+
+did some trading. Through the evening, jumped into
+a few old friends who were looking to rob you,
+
+sent them on their way. Then continued northward
+until eventually you came upon the outskirts of
+
+the– what was it– Silberquel Ridge– there we
+go, brain not working– to the gnomish city of
+
+Hupperdook. Upon arriving in the city, you took in
+the industrial sites: the elements of it that are
+
+heavy machinery and the creation of new types of
+clockwork-based technologies, the stacks of soot
+
+and steam sent outward, the war machines being
+developed for use to the eastern lines where the
+
+conflict with Xhorhas is now brewing. You made a
+friend by the name of Rissa who said, in exchange
+
+for a round drinks in the evening, would show you
+around the town for a bit. Upon making your way to
+
+the upper level, you were given a brief tour of
+the vicinity which seemed strangely empty. The
+
+streets very well decorated for some seeming
+celebration, but nobody present. As the sun slowly
+
+went down, the town came to life as all the work
+whistles blew, the sounds of merriment began. And
+
+suddenly, as the sun goes vanishing behind the
+distant mountains, the golds and oranges and
+
+subtle purples of the sunset begin to take over,
+the sound of music and laughter begins to take the
+
+streets. So, Mighty Nein, what would you like to
+do?
+
+TRAVIS: Laughter and music? I don’t trust laughter
+and music.
+
+SAM: Were we on our way to something? Were we
+going to some place?
+
+LAURA: The Blushing Tankard? Is that where we were
+going?
+
+SAM: Blushing Tankard, is that a place to stay?
+
+LAURA: It was a tavern. Rissa?
+
+MATT: “Right, yeah?”
+
+LAURA: There’s a big party happening now!
+
+MATT: “Like I said, welcome to Hupperdook.”
+
+LAURA: Wha– Should we– Should we party?
+
+MATT: “Well, I mean, what else is there to do for
+the night here but that?”
+
+SAM: We don’t know. We just got here.
+
+MATT: “There’s nothing else to do! You’ve arrived,
+go and get your stuff somewhere and let’s have a drink!”
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s go get out stuff somewhere.
+
+MATT: “You owe me a round anyway.”
+
+TRAVIS: Is this every night or just– It is.
+
+MATT: “Yeah. It’s part of our culture, our gnomish
+heritage.”
+
+LAURA: Why?
+
+MATT: “Why? Because it keeps us working hard every
+day. Sure, maybe our general longevity, for
+
+"gnomes, is a little shorter than most, but what a
+life we lead.” She reaches out and she’s leaning
+
+out the cart as you guys are heading through the
+street. These kids run by with sparklers in their
+
+hands and she reaches out and plucks them from
+their hand and picks it up it’s all (popping)
+
+around and she passes it over.
+
+SAM: Ooh what– (yelling and blowing)
+
+LAURA: No, it’s cool!
+
+SAM: Oh, are you drawing something? It’s a dick.
+
+LAURA: (gasping)
+
+SAM: I knew it!
+
+LAURA: I was going to write dick!
+
+SAM: Oh, you didn’t even need to.
+
+LAURA: I didn’t!
+
+MATT: “I can already see I’m going to like you
+folks!”
+
+TRAVIS: Wow. Work hard, play hard.
+
+MATT: “That’s the way we do here.”
+
+LAURA: I like this town.
+
+TRAVIS: Should we drop our shit off and–
+
+SAM: Where are we dropping? Can we stay at this
+place as well or do we–
+
+MATT: “You can.”
+
+SAM: Give me that! I want to smell it.
+
+TRAVIS: Quick question. This Blushing Tankard
+tavern, the doors lock, right? There’s privacy,
+
+it’s not like some fucking free-for-all all night,
+is it?
+
+MATT: “Well, in the tavern.”
+
+TRAVIS: Upstairs, in the rooms, I assume they
+have–
+
+MATT: “Oh, you can lock the doors!”
+
+TRAVIS: I’m just asking. I don’t know! Could be
+free love and a bunch of crazy people roaming
+
+around, I don’t know!
+
+MARISHA: It is called the Blushing Tankard.
+
+TRAVIS: Right?
+
+MARISHA: Why is it blushing?
+
+MATT: “Because you put your lips to it.”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit.
+
+LAURA: Because why?
+
+SAM: Because you put your lips to it.
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. We’re in for a fucki– Okay.
+
+LAURA: Lead the way!
+
+MARISHA: Do I see anyone selling glow sticks?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Light up swords.
+
+TRAVIS: Fiber optic whips.
+
+MARISHA: I want a fiber optic whip.
+
+MATT: Candy necklaces, big giant pacifiers.
+
+MARISHA: That’s not great. Nine.
+
+MATT: What you see is waves of fast moving
+families and people. Gnomish, some dwarves, a few
+
+human-sized folks rushing by. It looks like some
+of them are rushing from work to get home to
+
+disrobe from all their dirty clothes and jump back
+out with their party attire, or they’re already on
+
+their way to wherever their destination is. You
+hear fireworks going off in the distance and the
+
+occasional flashes in the sky. But you don’t see
+any vendors at this juncture. At this point, who’s
+
+helming the cart and the horses?
+
+LAURA: Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: I am.
+
+MATT: Okay. Rissa saddles up, sits right in the
+little bench next to you at the front of the cart
+
+and takes part of the reins. “Helping to guide you
+to where you’re trying to get to go. Follow me.
+
+"Tug to the right and it’s got about two blocks
+down that way. It’s going to be hard to miss. Look
+
+"for the large arch with the various spiraling ivy
+vines against it.”
+
+TRAVIS: Very nice of you. Can I keep an eye on her
+hands just to make sure she’s not going through my
+
+pockets while she’s up here?
+
+MATT: Yeah, make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: 15.
+
+MATT: During this travel, as you’re keeping an eye
+out, she seems to be just focused on the task at hand.
+
+TRAVIS: I feel a little guilty, but not much.
+
+LAURA: That means that her sleight of hand is
+better than your perception. That’s all it means.
+
+MATT: That’s what it could mean, or she could just
+not be trying to steal from you, but it could be
+
+either. You don’t know. After pulling around the
+side, you come to this large celebration square
+
+where there are three stages set up. There is a
+large maypole in the center, and they’re currently
+
+lifting up and tethering these large colorful
+streamers of multiple colors. People are gathering
+
+baskets of flowers. A few get tossed and you catch
+it, and they’re made of cloth. You get the sense
+
+here that they don’t have access to a lot of fresh
+flowers here in Hupperdook based on the rocky
+
+terrain and the perpetual tossing of soot and ash
+into the atmosphere. Also, if the celebration is
+
+that often they probably continue to reuse the
+same elements over and over again. As you come
+
+over into this corner, there are bands starting to
+play, music being set up on the outside, people
+
+are starting to sit down with blankets and
+families are starting to gather in this area. To
+
+your left, you see the large ivory archway with
+the ivy that’s twisting across the top of it.
+
+Rissa reaches and tugs your hands to the left to
+gear the cart in that direction and goes, “All
+
+"right, Blushing Tankard right up this way.”
+There’s more laughter and there are two vendors
+
+now on the outside, one of which is currently
+selling flower necklaces or bands. The other has
+
+clusters of sparklers and firecrackers.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s some of them now. Am I stopping?
+
+MARISHA: Just keep it going, I’m just going to–
+and I just roll off.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll follow.
+
+LAURA: Beau, get me some too, Beau! Get me some,
+too.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I go up to the sparklers and
+firecrackers.
+
+MATT: You walk up, and there’s a young gnomish man
+in what would be the equivalent of his late teens,
+
+or early twenties, got a very prominent Adam’s
+apple, and very thin for some of the gnomes you’ve
+
+seen around there. He glances up to you, holding a
+small barrel filled with various small-scale
+
+explosives. “Hi, can I help you?”
+
+MARISHA: I want three of everything.
+
+MATT: “Three, all right. I’ll just get this
+together.”
+
+MARISHA: How much comes in a pack?
+
+MATT: “Well, do you want three of everything, or do
+you want a pack?”
+
+MARISHA: They come in packs?
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to lose a finger before the
+night’s done.
+
+SAM: Did you just change your shirt, Travis?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, bitch.
+
+SAM: How did that happen?
+
+TRAVIS: Hocus pocus, motherfucker.
+
+SAM: Sorry, focus!
+
+MATT: “Packs of ten.”
+
+MARISHA: Ten? Ten sparklers or ten poppers?
+
+MATT: “Packs for both of ten.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I want one of each. Pack of each.
+
+MATT: “All right, pack of each. That will be five
+silver.”
+
+MARISHA: Okay, thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: I slow down just a little bit and give her
+time.
+
+SAM: I don’t think she’s coming.
+
+MARISHA: Then I also get a flower necklace for
+Jester.
+
+MATT: “Oh that’s–” on the other side, the next
+person over there, a portly-looking fellow in his
+
+middle ages or so, resting inside of his neck,
+rescinded inside. “Hi, yeah, the flowers are going
+
+to run about five copper per string. So do you
+want just one?”
+
+MARISHA: I’ll, ah–
+
+TRAVIS: Bring him with us!
+
+MATT: He’s got a bunch of them tied up in his
+hair and hanging off his neck.
+
+MARISHA: Do you also do braids?
+
+MATT: “Braids are across the way over there. Cindy
+does the braids.”
+
+MARISHA: I’ll just take one.
+
+MATT: “All right, that’s five copper, thank you.”
+
+TRAVIS: Please tell me he has a shortsword and can
+fight.
+
+MATT: You’re going to keep collecting pathetic
+characters to fight with you?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, please, bring Kiri and that guy I’ll
+be happy every fight.
+
+MATT: It’s the best front line you can hope for.
+
+MARISHA: I catch up, and I give Jester the flower
+necklace.
+
+TRAVIS: As she starts to roll up I go: Hyah! And
+just take off.
+
+MARISHA: (grunting)
+
+LAURA: Oh, no I’m get– (grunting) Is that for me?
+Beau, its beautiful!
+
+MARISHA: It looked like you. I’m sorry if it
+smells weird.
+
+LAURA: Wait, I guess it’d have to be like this.
+It’s beautiful!
+
+MARISHA: I take out one of the poppers, and I throw
+it! On the ground, what happens?
+
+MATT: (bouncing)
+
+MARISHA: Shit! I jump out, and I go pick it up,
+it’s too valuable. I run back.
+
+MATT: You go back and look at it, and you realize
+there is actually a tiny little fuse on it.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, there’s a process, okay. I jump back
+on. Caleb, light it!
+
+LIAM: No, you throw it.
+
+MARISHA: Okay! Oh, like skeet shooting!
+
+LIAM: Yeah, throw it in the air.
+
+MARISHA: Okay! (whoosh)
+
+LIAM: Fire Bolt.
+
+MATT: Roll for an attack.
+
+SAM: Fire Bolt?
+
+TRAVIS: It incinerates the fiber.
+
+LIAM: Pretty good. That’s 19 plus something.
+
+MATT: You don’t even have to roll damage. She
+tosses it in the air and it arcs, this tiny little
+
+firecracker, this little gray rod and then this
+little streak of flame fires up and hits it. It
+
+detonates with this loud pop! sound and you see
+sparks around it. It dissipates a moment after and
+
+in the vicinity, about seven or eight nearby
+gnomes, two of which children, all go, “(gasp)
+
+"Yeah!” Start clapping and cheering.
+
+MARISHA: You see that? I’m their hero.
+
+LIAM: How did you do it?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, different fingers, but sure. I like
+it.
+
+MARISHA: This is amazing, these could be useful.
+
+LIAM: For shits and giggles or what do you have
+in mind?
+
+MARISHA: For distractions. We could do that again
+and like when we’re fighting people–
+
+TRAVIS: Diversions.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Sure, it went very good in the swamp with
+that little one.
+
+SAM: Well. Can I have one to examine?
+
+TRAVIS: Say no.
+
+SAM: You have a bunch of them.
+
+MARISHA: How many is in a pack?
+
+MATT: Ten, so you have nine now.
+
+MARISHA: I might have to get more before we leave
+this town.
+
+LAURA: I think that’s smart.
+
+SAM: Matt, how much do we know about black
+powder?
+
+MATT: Well, communally, not much at all. You, make
+an intelligence check and have advantage because
+
+of your alchemical history.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ll take the first roll.
+Intelligence?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: 18.
+
+MATT: You know it’s had minor applications for a
+while, but it’s only really been applied in very
+
+condensed and common use for, like the explosives
+you found in the mine, clearing out spaces in
+
+underground caverns, or for the detonation of
+localized rocks that are in the way of paths
+
+trying to be put in mountain ranges. Small scale
+black powder like this you haven’t encountered,
+
+really, so this seems to be a relatively new use
+of this particular compound.
+
+SAM: Up to this point, it’s been rare that I or
+we’ve come across anything?
+
+MATT: You’ve barely come across it at all. You’ve
+read about it. Actually, the dynamite sticks you
+
+found in the mine were probably the first ones you
+encountered in your experience. Not a lot of use
+
+for it in the small farming town of Felderwin.
+
+LAURA: Would I have seen fireworks before in
+Nicodranas?
+
+MATT: You have before, but they’re saved for very
+rare occasions, like the coming of a ship that’s
+
+been long gone from shore or particular times of
+the year for celebrations they would go off and
+
+for that in particular they would put ship barges
+out on the water and they would fire them up from
+
+the waterfront. Having it this close is intense
+and even that small burst right there, there was a
+
+flash of heat that you haven’t really had before
+and it’s really exciting.
+
+LIAM: Are we just in an ocean of gnomes; is it
+like 98% gnomes all around us?
+
+MATT: Most everyone you see here is gnomish.
+You’ve seen a handful of dwarves, that’s the next
+
+prominent people that live here and then a
+smattering of human and half-elf. Right now, you
+
+guys have just come to the outside of The Blushing
+Tankard.
+
+LIAM: I’m traveling with my hood up, minor detail,
+as you were.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go inside!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we’re here. Is there a hitching post
+in the front?
+
+MATT: There is.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah! Hitch up the horses.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: You think it’s safe? I don’t think it’s
+safe.
+
+TRAVIS: They seem real jovial-like.
+
+LIAM: When people have libations they get up to
+hijinks at night, and that seems like the main activity here.
+
+TRAVIS: You want to go in and secure us some
+rooms, and I’ll watch the carriage. Figure out if
+
+there’s somewhere else we need to keep it?
+
+LIAM: I pull out the silver thread and I start
+going around the horses.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh! Or that.
+
+LAURA: Hey Nott, have you ever been dancing
+before?
+
+SAM: Have I ever been dancing before? Like to a
+place like this?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: I’ve danced.
+
+LAURA: Okay, just making sure.
+
+SAM: Why, are we dancing?
+
+LAURA: I figure we’re going to dance tonight.
+
+TALIESIN: Probably inevitably.
+
+SAM: All right. I might need some liquor.
+
+MATT: You guys, leaving Caleb and– you’re staying
+with Caleb while he sets up the perimeter.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, while he does the string.
+
+SAM: Do we need to choreograph something?
+
+LAURA: (gasps) We probably should. We should
+probably get Kiri involved.
+
+SAM: That sounds adorable.
+
+LAURA: Come on Kiri.
+
+TALIESIN: Definitely going to need a drink for
+this.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to lose her tonight.
+
+MATT: As you guys enter the Blushing Tankard
+Tavern, it is one of the larger taverns you’ve
+
+been in. The floor space has 20 or so round tables
+scattered amongst the floor. There is a stage in
+
+the far back where the music hasn’t quite started
+yet, but there are musicians setting up. You can
+
+see a violinist who’s currently tuning. There is a
+piano in the back, and outside a couple of taverns
+
+you saw in Zadash, and your experiences from when
+you were on the coast, pianos aren’t as common in
+
+tavern spaces. Usually reserved for the upper
+class, for private performances or higher-end
+
+social events. However, the tables are filling up
+already, people are rushing in there. Food is
+
+passed around left and right. In the back, there’s
+a group of gnomes that are currently clapping the
+
+ground on their table, singing some sort of tune,
+a shanty. One of them is up on the table, clapping
+
+his legs there. One of the barmaids comes by and
+slaps him. “Get off the table!”
+
+LAURA: This place is great!
+
+SAM: It’s really nice.
+
+MATT: What would you guys like to do?
+
+MARISHA: Try to get some rooms.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s get some rooms and stow our stuff
+and get out there.
+
+LAURA: I want to go try to play the piano.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+SAM: Right away?
+
+LAURA: Yes!
+
+SAM: Do you play the piano?
+
+LAURA: I’ve played it a little bit at home.
+
+LIAM: I want to listen. I’m going to sit close
+by.
+
+MARISHA: Molly and I will go.
+
+LAURA: I have a lot of really good songs that I
+learned when I was growing up. I’m going to sit
+
+down and try to play Chopsticks.
+
+MATT: Okay, go ahead and make a performance
+check.
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, it’s an eight!
+
+MATT and LAURA: (poorly playing Chopsticks)
+
+MATT: There’s a few moments of this going on
+before you suddenly hear this (throat clearing).
+
+You turn over your left shoulder and
+there is a half-elven gentlemen in a very nice
+
+doublet, who is currently holding a handful of
+sheet music. “Um, you’re at my piano.”
+
+LAURA: (poorly playing Chopsticks)
+
+MATT: He twitches at the off-tune hammering of the
+keys. “I’ll be right back.” He turns around and
+
+wanders off for the moment, clearing his ear with
+his pinky. You guys go to get rooms?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You head to the front, it’s a very long bar
+that wraps around the right side of the entire
+
+chamber. It has two hatches that can open up. From
+the inside, you see two individuals. You see a
+
+male gnome with a massive mane of red hair. Clean
+shaven, middle age, and he’s smiling and running
+
+around, getting drinks, sliding them down the bar,
+filling things. He’s the gnomish redhead
+
+equivalent of Tom Cruise. Spinning the bottles and
+pouring them out. On the other side you see a
+
+female dwarf, with this awesome, well-kept,
+chinstrap beard who has beautiful eye makeup on
+
+and this very colorful, silk, billowing blouse
+that tapers at the wrist with a flourish. She’s
+
+currently filling out drink and snack orders, and
+they’re both workhorses. They both have smiles on
+
+their faces, and they’re chatting with regulars.
+You haven’t quite caught their eye yet, they’re in
+
+the midst of other business.
+
+LAURA: Did you say she was a dwarf?
+
+MATT: A dwarf, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Who do we talk to? Do we talk to the
+gnome or the dwarf?
+
+TALIESIN: Whichever one we catch the eye of
+first.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we should do the bar lean in
+thing.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, I’m in.
+
+MARISHA: Shove some other people around, do that
+thing.
+
+MATT: For the hell of it, both of you guys roll
+charisma checks, please.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, this is going to be funny.
+
+MARISHA: Something we’re great at. Just straight
+checks?
+
+MATT: Just roll a d20 and add your charisma
+modifier.
+
+TRAVIS: That dice just is the biggest tease.
+
+TALIESIN: Want to go at the same time?
+
+MARISHA: It rocks back and forth. Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Three, two, one. Six.
+
+MARISHA: Eight.
+
+MATT: So the better part of 15 minutes pass of you
+guys waiting there and being overlooked until
+
+eventually the dwarf woman stops and goes, “All
+right, sorry about that, didn’t see you there.
+
+"You’re a bit higher than the usual folk. What can
+I do for you?”
+
+MARISHA: That seems oddly backwards. We need a
+couple of rooms, a few rooms, a handful of rooms.
+
+And some drinks.
+
+MATT: “Both of those can be done, lassie.”
+
+MARISHA: How many rooms do we need? Three, four?
+
+TALIESIN: (counting)
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: Four.
+
+MATT: “Four rooms, all right. Let’s see then.
+That’s one gold piece per room per night.”
+
+TALIESIN: I just put down four gold pieces.
+
+MARISHA: Does it come with amenities? Does it have
+a mini bar? Do you charge?
+
+MATT: “This is the mini bar, my dear. But don’t
+worry. We can bring drinks up, we can bring
+
+"companions up, we can bring what you need up, just
+let us know.”
+
+TALIESIN: You’re in a tourist town; things are
+going to cost something.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+LIAM: On the other side of the bar I cast Haste on
+Jester while she is playing the piano.
+
+LAURA: I want to start playing The Entertainer.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+SAM: (playing The Entertainer)
+
+MATT: But really fast.
+
+SAM and LAURA: (speedily playing The Entertainer)
+
+MATT: It’s impressive. A little off-key, but
+overall impressive, the speed of the composition.
+
+Right as she starts crescendoing, about to get to
+the quiet part (speedily playing The Entertainer),
+
+a hand slams down on the keys, and that same
+half-elven gentlemen leans in once more and goes,
+
+“If I might please request my instrument returned
+to me, my dear.”
+
+LAURA: This is a really good piano.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+LAURA: You should be really proud it’s yours.
+
+MATT: “I am.”
+
+LAURA: Do you have a tip jar?
+
+MATT: “I have a tipping hat.” He pulls off from
+the side this wide-brimmed hat that comes to a
+
+point in the front and floppy in the back, and he
+sets it up on top of the piano.
+
+LAURA: I really think the first couple tips should
+be to me because I really set up the room for you.
+
+MATT: “Well then, I certainly hope the first few
+tips come while you’re at the bench.”
+
+LAURA: Fabulous.
+
+MATT: And he sits down at the bench and pushes you
+off of it.
+
+LIAM: I toss one gold in and say: This one’s for
+the lady. Very good.
+
+LAURA: Did you see?
+
+MATT: “I saw.” Cracks his knuckles, sets his music
+down in front, starts getting ready. The other
+
+performers to the side are watching this out of
+the corner of their eye and laughing. They’re
+
+enjoying the tension that’s brewing.
+
+LAURA: I run over and give Caleb a kiss on the
+cheek. Thank you, Caleb.
+
+MATT: You guys get your rooms situated. As the
+keys are being passed out to the different rooms,
+
+drinks are being handled. “So are you looking for
+something strong or something strong?”
+
+TALIESIN: Amaze me, baffle me, make me forget
+where I am.
+
+MATT: She leans into you and goes “I like you.
+You’re colorful.”
+
+TALIESIN: Bless you. You’re colorful yourself. I
+love everything you’re wearing.
+
+MATT: “Thank you. First one’s on me, how about
+that?”
+
+TALIESIN: Bless you. I’ll happily pay for hers as
+well because I want to drink her under the fucking table.
+
+MATT: “Hold that till later on. That event’s not
+till later tonight.”
+
+TALIESIN: What happens later tonight? Other than
+more drink.
+
+MATT: “Is this your first time here?”
+
+TALIESIN: Are we that obvious?
+
+MATT: “A bit. Well, we have some performances
+going on, and then we have our contest. Our weekly
+
+"Hour of Honor. So just don’t drink too much if
+you’re looking to compete.” She pops the top
+
+button off the top of her blouse and gives a
+better look at her dwarven cleavage.
+
+LAURA: I love that you did it.
+
+TALIESIN: Brava!
+
+MATT: I realized that I could do it as I was doing
+it. As she does that, she reaches down and pulls
+
+out a dark red glass bottle with a large cap,
+which she pulls off. This tiny glass, passes it
+
+over to you, and you look at it. You’re used to
+seeing liquid splash quite often, this sloshes at
+
+a slower pace. It’s a thicker liquor.
+
+TALIESIN: I dip a finger.
+
+MATT: It’s surprisingly sweet. Strong, the burn
+kicks in afterward. You like it.
+
+TALIESIN: Shoot or sip?
+
+MATT: “That’s up to you.”
+
+MARISHA: Sorry to interrupt your incessant
+flirting. Can I please have a damn drink?!
+
+MATT: “Would you like one of the same?”
+
+MARISHA: Yes, one of the same, yes!
+
+MATT: “All right, that’ll be five silver pieces.”
+
+MARISHA: I thought he paid for me; I thought you
+paid for me.
+
+TALIESIN: I am paying for you. I just put a gold
+down. Keep the tip as well.
+
+MATT: “Oh my goodness, thank you!” She puts it in
+her cleavage. Pours you another shot of it as
+
+well, hands it over.
+
+MARISHA: I just kill the whole thing.
+
+MATT: All right, it burns, but it’s good. It’s
+like a sweet thick honey liquor that coats the
+
+throat, and the coating at first feels nice until
+the burn hits.
+
+MARISHA: It’s kind of medicinal.
+
+TALIESIN: Challenge accepted. (satisfied grunt)
+
+MATT: It’s good.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb and I have come in at this point and
+I turn to Caleb and go: I feel like I may be
+
+regretting my roommate choice tonight. It’s just a
+hunch. I think he’s in his element.
+
+LIAM: Well, the odds are that you are not going to
+even see him in your room tonight, so I wouldn’t
+
+worry about it so much.
+
+TRAVIS: You think? He’ll just like tear into the
+night and maybe not come back until the sun comes up?
+
+LIAM: He’s like a coyote. You know what that is?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s like–
+
+LIAM: (funny accent) Diplomatic Immunity.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: (funny accent) I don’t know what that means.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Wow. Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: I do.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, they like to fuck a lot is my point.
+
+TRAVIS: I thought those were rabbits.
+
+MARISHA: I thought so, too.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to have to work on our
+analogies, I feel like there is something missing
+
+here. Yeah, okay, a bunny coyote.
+
+MARISHA: That sounds cute.
+
+TRAVIS: It does sound cute.
+
+LIAM: But if you want a quieter evening, you can
+certainly share the room with Nott and I for once.
+
+It’s probably not as raucous a room, but you’re
+welcome to it.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, just in case he goes full monty, I
+might have like a secret knock or something.
+
+LAURA: Where did Yasha go?
+
+MATT: Yasha is with you, but the player’s in
+Japan, filming. As you glance around, Yasha’s
+
+sitting towards the back, and towering over most
+of the clientele here, and not necessarily
+
+uncomfortable, but unsure what to make of the
+jovial atmosphere. There is the faint corner of a
+
+smile, but the awkward, anxious smile of not
+knowing what to do and afraid to step any
+
+direction and crush somebody.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s turning on the charm.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough, I appreciate that.
+
+LAURA: There are four rooms.
+
+MARISHA: I really like it when she crosses her
+arms like that, it makes her biceps look good.
+
+LAURA: So Molly can have a room all to his own, if
+he really wants to, you know (clicking) (whistle).
+
+TRAVIS: Oh.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, are we talking about that, I’m not
+going to invade your space if you don’t need it,
+
+don’t worry about it.
+
+TRAVIS: No, I mean half of me’s interested, the
+other half’s terrified, so I’m just kind of curious.
+
+TALIESIN: And if you drink enough, you won’t
+remember either way.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: At this point, Rissa’s like, “Well, if
+you’ve got your rooms taken care of, we’re looking
+
+"for a place to sit, then.” She glances past and
+you can see patrons are starting to get really
+
+rowdy. They have these rope-hung chandeliers in
+three different spots, and you can see one person
+
+is jumped up onto one and is hanging back and
+forth off of it. Some people are like, “Yeah!” All
+
+of a sudden, the dwarf woman at the bar goes, “Oh,
+for the love of–” clambers over with a speed you
+
+didn’t expect from her, rushes over and grabs the
+ankle and tears him down, off onto the ground.
+
+“Not in my bar!”
+
+MARISHA: You know, I’ve never seen anyone
+actually swing from a chandelier. I just thought
+
+it was a metaphor.
+
+TALIESIN: No, that’s entirely something you can
+do. It’s more common than you’d think.
+
+LAURA: Is it allowed in other bars?
+
+MATT: Are you talking to Rissa? “I imagine if
+they’re not paying attention.”
+
+TALIESIN: There was some pub. I don’t remember
+what town I was in, but I do remember the pub
+
+because it was actually called the Swinging
+Chandelier. I don’t remember what town it was,
+
+though. But it was a great pub. It had the best
+chandelier.
+
+MATT: “My gnomish eyes spot what looks to be one
+open table across the way, right there.” Rissa
+
+points, and you can see, past the way, there’s one
+table that two people are just getting up from and leaving.
+
+SAM: I will dart at full speed, full dash to get
+that table.
+
+MATT: You and Rissa go into a full run. You
+beating her easily. You get to the table and scoot
+
+into the side. As she approaches, you watch as two
+male gnomes intercept her, and block her path. One
+
+of them goes, “Uh-uh, sorry Tinkertop, table’s not
+for you.” She goes, “Fuck off, Fitz! I’ve worked
+
+"hard enough. I saw this table fair and square.”
+The other one goes, “You don’t work, Tabletop,
+
+"just like your brain-sick dad. This table’s for
+working folk.” Fitz glances over and says, “Go ask
+
+"your pops to make you a table to drink at alone.
+Might buy you an hour before it breaks.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to walk right into the middle
+of this. Gentle persons, are you harassing our
+
+employee right now?
+
+MATT: They both look wildly confused. “No, no.”
+
+TALIESIN: We have employed the services of this
+person right here, and I would agree that you
+
+should probably leave right now and get another
+table for yourselves.
+
+MATT: Make an intimidation check.
+
+TALIESIN: Nope, that’s a four.
+
+MATT: As you lean forward in that tense glare, a
+little bit of a liquor-based burp comes up
+
+abruptly and breaks the intensity of the moment.
+“Oh, someone’s starting early, not too bad. No,
+
+"from what I’ve heard about these folks, their
+blood’s fire, but on the inside they’re nothing
+
+but cold and clammy.” He goes and flicks the edge
+of your nose, these two little gnomish punks.
+
+TALIESIN: (demonic voice)
+
+LAURA: I use my tail to–
+
+TALIESIN: If you want to go, too, at the same
+time. I say a little bit of Infernal, and I’m
+
+going to use a blood maledict and make him go
+blind for a second.
+
+LAURA: I was going to smack him on the ass with my
+tail at the same time.
+
+MATT: All right, which one?
+
+LAURA: I’ll do the other one.
+
+TALIESIN: The one on the left for me.
+
+MATT: The one that just flicked you in the nose,
+his eyes go black and you can see the bit of
+
+crimson pooling at the corner of the eyes. He
+goes, (stuttering), stumbles back, and hits the
+
+stool, and falls onto his ass. “What’s going
+on?!”
+
+SAM: I’m going to jump on top of him and start
+rifling through his pockets.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you. I was hoping for it.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a sleight of hand check.
+
+TRAVIS: The table, Sam, the table!
+
+SAM: 23. No, 27.
+
+MATT: You manage to pull six silver pieces and
+three gold pieces out of his pocket.
+
+SAM: Anything other than money?
+
+MATT: Right now, no. Strangely enough, it’s only
+money, and only that amount.
+
+LIAM: I’m watching Nott, and as soon as I see that
+she has found everything that she is looking for,
+
+I’ve got the copper wire ready, and I mutter
+through it, to the one on the ground: They’re
+
+going to kill you. You have to run, now.
+
+MATT: The one that gets slapped in the ass by
+Jester is like, (stuttering) “I apologize. Rissa,
+
+"we didn’t know,” reaches over and goes and grabs
+the friend. As soon as Nott jumps on and starts
+
+thrashing around on him, “Get that thing–” goes
+and pushes you off of its body, picks up the other
+
+gnome. At this point, his eyes come back, and the
+little strings of blood are curling down the side
+
+of his cheek. He goes, “What happened?”
+
+TALIESIN: Some people can’t hold their liquor.
+It’s really embarrassing.
+
+LAURA: It’s sad, really.
+
+MATT: They both just get lost into the crowd.
+
+LAURA: No, stay, play with us longer!
+
+MATT: Rissa looks over her shoulder at them leave
+and (laughing).
+
+TRAVIS: Wow, that took a turn fast.
+
+TALIESIN: I like the way that worked out.
+
+MATT: “Me too, indeed!”
+
+SAM: Who were they?
+
+MATT: “Fitz and Ashton. They’re both a couple of
+punks. I’ve known them since I was a kid.”
+
+TRAVIS: They called you “Tabletop.”
+
+MATT: “Well, Tinkertop.”
+
+TRAVIS: Tinkertop.
+
+TALIESIN: Both equally mysterious.
+
+LAURA: Wait. So your dad is, what, rich or
+something?
+
+MATT: “Eh–”
+
+LAURA: It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s okay if
+he is.
+
+MATT: She curls into the bench around the table
+and leans one shoulder onto it. “My father’s an
+
+inventor, a tinkerer of some renown at one time.
+He’s had a rough few years.”
+
+TRAVIS: He said he was brain-sick.
+
+MATT: “That’s just him being an arsehole.”
+
+LAURA: What kind of stuff does he make?
+
+MATT: “All sorts of things, toys, contraptions,
+occasionally whatever he’s told to make by the
+
+"Starosta, but he’s just a bumbling twat, really.”
+
+LAURA: Can we meet him?
+
+MATT: He’s probably in nap time right now.
+Tomorrow, maybe?
+
+LAURA: Okay!
+
+MARISHA: I bring over a round of drinks for
+everybody.
+
+MATT: Another round of just traditional ale drinks
+for everybody would probably run you, we’ll say
+
+three silver pieces. As you guys gather around for
+a second, Rissa livens up a bit after that
+
+conversation. “But anyway, you’ve asked me a bit
+about myself, what about you? What are you here
+
+"for? What brings you to this godforsaken place?”
+
+TRAVIS: We’re actually here for a spot of work.
+
+MATT: “Looking for work?”
+
+LAURA: Yes, of course, work, that’s what we’re
+doing.
+
+SAM: Not looking for work, we’re just on a job.
+
+TRAVIS: I said for a spot of work.
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Oh, yes.
+
+LIAM: Honestly, the name really sells this place.
+We have been fascinated with it for quite some time.
+
+MATT: “That’s not the first time we’ve heard
+that.”
+
+LAURA: I was really hoping you would have houses
+of mushrooms. Do you have any?
+
+MATT: “I’m just going to call that unintentional
+ignorance, but, no, gnomes don’t live in
+
+"mushrooms. Don’t be saying that around here very
+loudly, not all folks will be taking kindly to that.”
+
+LIAM: She’s set in her ways.
+
+LAURA: No, I just thought Hupperdook sounded like
+a mushroom sort of town.
+
+TRAVIS: Didn’t she just say not to–
+
+LAURA: I’m going to stop, though.
+
+SAM: They prefer the term “toadstools.”
+
+MARISHA: I somehow feel like that’s worse.
+
+MATT: She grabs one of the tankards and starts
+drinking heavily from it. “Anyway!” The music
+
+begins to kick in even louder. The celebration has
+kicked into a second gear here, once I can find
+
+the music transition.
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: (heavy metal guitar melodies)
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, so it’s the Noise Room. (heavy bass
+thudding)
+
+MATT: The crowd begins to hush for a moment. From
+one of the back rooms, a door opens and a range of
+
+brightly-colored gnome dancers come rushing into
+the room to a swell of cheers and applause. You
+
+see four dancers emerge, across the spectrum of
+gender, and take to tabletops and begin to stomp
+
+and click their feet to the rhythm of the music.
+The musicians begin to finally pick up and build.
+
+The pianist you met earlier is starting to make
+his music happen. It’s beautiful and echoes
+
+through the room, the placement of it. You get the
+sense now, whether it be some enchantment or some
+
+intentional acoustic presence in the room, but the
+music carries well and seems to bleed from
+
+everywhere. As the dancers are up on the tables,
+these silk scarves rainbow-colored, from their
+
+arms, twirl into large circles and shapes, and
+they have this worked out, fantastic choreography
+
+in unison. They begin to leap from tabletop to
+tabletop in a circular fashion, making these large
+
+arching foot leaps and landing again. Folks cheer
+with each land, the music whirring itself into a
+
+frenzy. Folks are starting to toss coins towards
+them on the table. They, in the middle of it, will
+
+spin, catch one and pocket it and move back into
+the dance. You get the sense this a very practiced
+
+and fairly often performed as to how well-oiled
+this machine of a performance is.
+
+LIAM: They are almost as nimble as you.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+LAURA: I toss a silver.
+
+MATT: Snatched out of the air.
+
+TALIESIN: I toss two at the same time.
+
+MARISHA: I see if I catch one. Missile Snare. I’m
+going to try to catch one of Molly’s coins.
+
+TRAVIS: Did you just take a dancer’s tip?
+
+MATT: Make a dexterity check. This is going to be
+a contested dexterity check between you and a dancer.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I’m into it. Especially if it
+fails, please!
+
+MARISHA: Natural one.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah!
+
+TRAVIS: That’s justice.
+
+MARISHA: It is.
+
+MATT: As you reach for the coin, your fingers
+almost touch it before everything goes dark as a
+
+wooden shoe-covered foot (slamming) across your
+face from the dancer who catches it between two
+
+fingers, looks down, retracts the foot, and as you
+get your vision back and look up, the dancer gives
+
+you a wink and goes back into a spin.
+
+MARISHA: I wink back. You know, I kind of liked
+that. It was kind of hot.
+
+MATT: As the dancers begin to gather, leaping from
+table to table, they start getting closer to the
+
+center of the room. They begin to spin together
+until eventually they clasp hands. Some of the bar
+
+hands grab the tables and start pushing them
+together in the center, telling the patrons to
+
+step back a bit. As they do, the circle continues
+to get tighter as they leap from table to table,
+
+holding each other wrist to wrist, arm to arm. As
+they do, the silks are billowing out and you can
+
+see them extending. The silks they’ve been holding
+seem to have been a bunch hidden within their
+
+sleeves. As they billow out, they widen until
+it’s like a parachute of rainbow colors that just
+
+spin in this circle. It completely engulfs them;
+all you see is the tip of their heads within this
+
+swirl of color until eventually the music comes to
+a climax and with a heavy stomp, all the colors
+
+fade, and the dancers bow. Everyone in the room
+starts cheering and clapping.
+
+(applause)
+
+TRAVIS: Hot damn!
+
+MATT: The dancers smile and step off, walking
+around with hats in the front, taking tips from
+
+people at tables as they adjust the tables back to
+their original point. Everyone else goes back to
+
+their meals, and you see them tossing the odd
+copper or silver piece into their hats.
+
+SAM: I don’t know if we can learn that dance.
+
+LAURA: I think we can do it.
+
+SAM: Let’s just work on something simple. We’re
+going to take a moment to work out a couple of
+
+moves in case it comes up. Just some basic hand
+moves.
+
+MATT: Kiri is off to the side. (chirping)
+
+LAURA: We can have her stand on one shoulder
+each–
+
+SAM: I’m much shorter than you.
+
+LAURA: I’ll be on my knees. Then we can do these
+things. Kiri can have a ribbon, and she’ll do this
+
+while we do it.
+
+SAM: I like it.
+
+LAURA: It’s basically the same as what they just
+did.
+
+SAM: Caleb maybe can do some special effects.
+
+LIAM: Will it be dark where we are doing this? I
+worry about– you know what I worry about.
+
+SAM: Maybe I should sit it out.
+
+LIAM: No, it just depends on the situation. This
+happens all over the city, outside, everywhere, ja?
+
+MATT: “For the most part, yeah. As the evening
+goes on it tends to gather around the places where
+
+"drink is running freely, until everyone passes
+out, then wakes up, hair of the dog, usually takes
+
+"himself a bit of Fuse and then gets back to
+work.”
+
+TRAVIS: A bit of Fuse?
+
+MATT: “A Fuse is the hair of the dog drink that we
+brew here to get everyone waking up and back to work.”
+
+TRAVIS: I know what Molly’ll be having in a couple
+hours.
+
+MATT: “I don’t know how it’s going to mingle well
+with non-gnomish tracts, but I’m willing to watch and try.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m very excited to find out.
+
+MATT: “Me too.” (laughs)
+
+TRAVIS: Rissa, can I ask you about the– what’s it
+called– honor hour that comes up later?
+
+MATT: “Hour of Honor?”
+
+TRAVIS: Hour of Honor, yeah. What’s that about?
+
+MATT: “Look over there.” She points to the far
+wall, and they’re starting to set up lights on it,
+
+these glowing lanterns they have on pikes. It’s a
+collection of wooden name plates. She goes, “Once
+
+"a week, there’s a contest where the previous
+holders of the Hour of Honor can take challenges.
+
+"Whoever provides the most monetary amount to the
+challenge gets to go one-on-one with their team,
+
+"drink to drink, until only one’s left un-puking or
+un-passed out.”
+
+SAM: A team drinking competition?
+
+MATT: “The remainder gets the coin, I think a
+percentage goes to the house and gets to take the
+
+"title and a token. That token is worth a free
+drink to each member of that team in this bar
+
+"every night.”
+
+LAURA: Every night?
+
+LIAM: It is almost like a drunken CrossFit gym.
+I’m sorry. It is almost like a CrossFit gym.
+
+TRAVIS: There you go.
+
+LAURA: We should probably do that. For this, I
+would make an exception.
+
+TRAVIS: It could cost a lot of money.
+
+LAURA: How much?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, he said whoever contributes the most
+monetarily gets to take a shot at the honor.
+
+LAURA: How much do people usually contribute?
+
+LIAM: I have two gold.
+
+MATT: “From what I’ve seen, it can depend on if
+people are that interested or that competitive.
+
+"Some folks put up the few gold they’ve earned for
+a few days if they’re feeling lucky. I’ve seen
+
+"people put upwards of 20, 25 gold sometimes, which
+is quite a sizable sum.”
+
+LAURA: Are you a big drinker, Rissa?
+
+MATT: “I can hold my weight, but I’m not much of a
+competitor, if that’s what you’re asking.”
+
+TRAVIS: Is it happening relatively soon, or do we
+have a few more hours to explore a bit? I just
+
+have the feeling if we were to engage, that all
+activities after that would not be documented in
+
+the ol’ brain so well.
+
+MATT: You’ve probably been here for the better
+part of an hour or two, just getting your paces,
+
+having drinks and taking in the performances and
+the music. “I’d say you probably have another hour
+
+"before it begins.”
+
+TALIESIN: Want to do a little runaround?
+
+TRAVIS: I figure, if we’re going to do that.
+
+TALIESIN: I think we’re going to do that.
+
+TRAVIS: All right.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go. Who’s going to put Kiri either
+on their shoulders, or we need to–
+
+TRAVIS: To bed!
+
+LAURA: We can’t put her to bed!
+
+TRAVIS: Why not?
+
+LAURA: Because she’ll just come out of the room.
+Won’t you, Kiri?
+
+SAM: Why would she come out of the room?
+
+TALIESIN: Because Hupperdook.
+
+LAURA: Because there’s so much noise and stuff.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s family friendly.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s no drop-off daycare. Is there a
+daycare here, Rissa?
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “I am Kiri.”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, god.
+
+LAURA: Yes, you are very sweet.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Yes, I am very sweet.”
+
+LIAM: Perhaps our feathered friend is a little
+more important than the horses and I could leave
+
+my threads around her room and she would be safe
+there. I would know if there was a problem.
+
+MATT: (like Caleb) “Doesn’t matter, though.”
+
+LIAM: No, but it does matter, because you are a
+young child and you need to get your rest, and we
+
+are going to be doing things that are, quite
+frankly, not for your eyes.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Okay.”
+
+LAURA: She would come out of the room. I know her.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “I know her.”
+
+MARISHA: What if we get her one of those child
+leashes?
+
+SAM: Ooh! They said that they would send someone
+to the room, right, Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: Did they?
+
+SAM: Didn’t you say that they would send someone
+to the room?
+
+LIAM: We could get a babysitter.
+
+SAM: Like a babysitter. You could pay one of their
+women to watch our little Kiri.
+
+TALIESIN: I have done some ridiculous things in my
+life; that might take the top of it, though.
+
+SAM: They’re working women; we rent them for a
+time.
+
+MATT: Rissa, at this point, goes, “Well,
+first off, you’re assuming they’re all women.”
+
+SAM: Oh yeah, that’s true! We could get a sturdy,
+strapping gigolo man to go up there and
+
+watch out for Kiri!
+
+LAURA: I don’t think that’s a bad idea.
+
+TRAVIS: Rissa, do you know how much one of these
+evening companions might run per hour?
+
+MATT: “I can honestly say I do not. Sorry.”
+
+TRAVIS: Should I go ask?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, all right, fine. I’ll be right back.
+I’ll make my way up to the bar, to the one with the–
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got an idea. I’ve got an idea.
+There is one member of our party who is probably
+
+not going to want to go out and see this
+ridiculousness.
+
+SAM: She is a wallflower tonight.
+
+MARISHA: She does seem very uncomfortable, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: I still want to check the price, so I go
+up to the bar.
+
+MATT: As you approach the bar, the dwarven woman,
+who’s in the process of cleaning a spill on the
+
+side, looks over and sees you and does a
+triple-take, like– “Well, would you look at this
+
+"strapping mass of green and tooth.” (laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you kindly, ma'am.
+
+MATT: “What can I do for you?”
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a little early in the evening, but I
+thought I might get a head start and inquire what
+
+some friendship might run me.
+
+MATT: “Mighty forward, but I can’t say I’m not
+interested. I’ve got a few more hours on my shift,
+
+"but if you hang around–”
+
+TRAVIS: I would hate to remove you from your
+duties. Plus, my companions are also interested in
+
+the same. You said there might be–
+
+MATT: “Well, it’s been a while since I’ve–”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh! No, yeah, let me clarify. (stammering)
+I need–
+
+MATT: She goes and starts pouring herself a
+drink.
+
+TRAVIS: Multiples– not multiples! I need
+individual companions for my friends, not just
+
+your beautiful self.
+
+MATT: “How many?”
+
+TRAVIS: Three.
+
+MATT: “Three companions? All right. I have to go
+and connect with a friend here and see what’s
+
+"available, but that’s certainly doable.”
+
+TRAVIS: Great, and do you know how much that might
+run?
+
+MATT: “Well, that depends on what you’re asking
+for. Is it only for the hour, is it for the
+
+"evening, what the requests are–”
+
+TRAVIS: Per hour is good, yeah.
+
+MATT: “For an hour? Three? That’d put you about,
+say, 20 gold.”
+
+TRAVIS: Boy, that sounds like a fun night.
+Outstanding. I will be sure to return. I turn my
+
+head and leave.
+
+LAURA: What did she say?
+
+TRAVIS: That was the most horrible thing I’ve ever
+had to do. I’m not prepared to talk to people
+
+about those things.
+
+LAURA: What did she say?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s 20 gold for three people for an
+hour.
+
+LAURA: That’s it?
+
+SAM: Three man-hours?
+
+TRAVIS: Nope. At one hour, three people: 20 gold.
+So that’s– yeah.
+
+LIAM: Are you all right?
+
+TRAVIS: God, it’s real uncomfortable.
+
+LAURA: Why do we need three people to watch Kiri?
+
+TRAVIS: Look, I was just making shit up on the
+fly, all right?
+
+TALIESIN: Yasha, I know you’re not into this. I
+know that you want to have a night out. Do you
+
+just want to sit and keep the young one out of
+trouble?
+
+MATT: “I can do that, yeah. She’s small. I can
+hold her down.”
+
+TALIESIN: It’s going to be fine. That’s a joke.
+
+LIAM: Are you sure? I was planning to go out, but
+it’s awkward for me. I thought you would be going.
+
+MATT: “It’s awkward for me, too.”
+
+LIAM: I thought that we could give each other
+moral support, you know what I mean?
+
+MATT: “Good, then you go out and have a good time.
+I’ll hold the bird down.”
+
+TRAVIS: Is that a phrase, or does she actually
+mean she’ll hold the bird down?
+
+TALIESIN: Only one way to find out.
+
+LIAM: I think the child will be dead by the
+morning.
+
+LAURA: Kiri, are you cool with staying with Yasha
+for the whole night?
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “I can send a message.”
+
+LAURA: Do you promise you won’t try to leave her,
+and you won’t try to come out and find us?
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Okay. I don’t know if it’s
+smart.”
+
+LAURA: I don’t think it is either, Kiri!
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, come on. She is just trying to tug
+on your heart strings. She’ll be fine.
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: Oh, I just love her so much.
+
+TRAVIS: I know. She’ll be safe.
+
+LAURA: You be good.
+
+MATT: She holds her little dagger in front of
+her.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll bring you back something, Yash.
+
+MARISHA: Blade pointed down, Kiri. Good job.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Okay.”
+
+MARISHA: There we go.
+
+SAM: Caleb, we may need a third person to join our
+dance now.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s right. Now me and Caleb will do
+it. You stand on our shoulders. You wave the ribbon.
+
+LIAM: No, that is not a thing that is happening.
+You could ask Beauregard. That’s not going to happen.
+
+SAM: You can’t dance? You’re not a dancer?
+
+LAURA: Have you ever danced, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) You have? I can’t picture you
+dancing.
+
+TALIESIN: He’s never going to dance again.
+
+TRAVIS: (singing) He’s never going to dance
+again.
+
+MARISHA: There’s too many dance puns!
+
+TALIESIN: You can dance if you want to.
+
+MATT: He’s not going to leave his friends behind.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that is the key: if I want to. No,
+perhaps Beauregard is fleet of foot. She could
+
+round you out.
+
+SAM: Are you sure?
+
+LAURA: But Caleb, we want to dance with you.
+
+TRAVIS: Fucking Pet Sematary up in this bitch.
+
+LIAM: I played with Mommy, and I played with Judd,
+and now I going to play with you. I will take a
+
+rain check on that. No thank you, Jester. It is
+tempting, but no.
+
+LAURA: We’ll figure it out.
+
+SAM: I guess we can– Beau?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah? No, I know, I’m your second
+choice–
+
+SAM: No, third. It was Kiri first, Caleb second.
+You’re three.
+
+LAURA: You’re very dexterous and I think you’ll be
+a very good dancer.
+
+MARISHA: Feels like you had to reach for that. You
+stammered a little.
+
+LAURA: Plus, you have already lots of scarves on
+you, so you can do a lot of the things
+
+the people were doing.
+
+TRAVIS: You got scarves on you?
+
+MARISHA: I do have a lot of scarves.
+
+LIAM: No, that’s truthful. It’s obvious how
+dexterous you are; you’re just gruff.
+
+LAURA: Yeah! So should we dance in the street?
+
+SAM: We should rehearse. We don’t know when we’re
+going to need the dance yet.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going outside to see what this
+place has to offer before it’s time for a drinking
+
+contest that we’ll–
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to need a beagle to lead the
+charge. I’m assuming that’s you?
+
+TALIESIN: (shouting) Onward and outward!
+
+TRAVIS: Jesus. (dog baying)
+
+MATT: As you’re making your way out, the dwarven
+lass reaches out in your direction, Fjord, to flag you down.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh! Ma'am.
+
+MATT: “So, just asking: how soon are you wanting
+this companionship sent to your rooms, and–” and
+
+her finger’s playing with the front of your armor
+on the edge of the bar, and goes, “I could give
+
+"you a discount.”
+
+TRAVIS: (stammering)
+
+LAURA: You know, here’s the thing. He’s already
+been with the Ruby of the Sea, so probably nothing
+
+you do could compare to that. Kind of sad,
+really.
+
+MATT: “Would you like me to cancel your request,
+then?”
+
+TRAVIS: No, no. I’d like to put a deposit down. I
+don’t know when we’ll be back. Maybe four gold to
+
+hold the reservation?
+
+LIAM: Ask if there’s a cancellation fee.
+
+TRAVIS: No, I can’t. I’m terrified.
+
+MATT: “All right, I’ll hold on to this until then.
+Well, hopefully see you around.” Gives a hint of
+
+grinning stink-eye in your direction, Jester, and
+back to Fjord: “Take care of yourself, lad.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, okay.
+
+MARISHA: Did you just put a hooker on layaway?
+
+TRAVIS: I think I did. I feel like I did. Did you
+just say I’d been with your mom?!
+
+LAURA: I know. As soon as I said it, it was really
+creepy.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s fucked up!
+
+LAURA: But you know what? It was just a power
+play, and it didn’t really work out.
+
+MARISHA: I will say, normally being like, “You
+slept with my mom” is an insult or something, or
+
+“Don’t talk about my mom.”
+
+LAURA: Yeah, but people that have slept with my
+mom are really rich and really powerful, usually,
+
+so it’s a compliment for them.
+
+LIAM: Also, you have to embrace “yes, and,” Fjord.
+“Yes, and,” not “no, but.”
+
+SAM: This is good. You have an opportunity for
+later, if you choose to use it.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I could sit in the room and let you
+know if they’re any good or not!
+
+LIAM: Are you honestly okay? You seem very
+perturbed.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m not real comfortable with this sort of
+stuff.
+
+SAM: Have you ever been with someone?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, totally.
+
+SAM: Are you sure?
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+SAM: Insight check.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s pretty good.
+
+SAM: 20.
+
+TRAVIS: I have.
+
+SAM: Okay. He seems to be telling the truth.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe not many, though.
+
+LAURA: Have you ever paid for anybody before?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+TALIESIN: Like Captain America, not many?
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. Pretty close.
+
+TALIESIN: Frozen in ice, man. It’ll happen.
+
+LIAM: Was it someone special?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+MATT: At this point, Kiri, who’s not that far from
+you because you’re still in the bar, says (like
+
+Jester) “Don’t eat humans, okay?” Yasha goes, “I’m
+going to take her upstairs,” and heads off to the chamber.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to let you guys take the lead on
+this. I’m more of a spectator, at this point.
+
+SAM: With the hooker?
+
+TRAVIS: No, I thought we were going out for an
+hour!
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, you jumped conversations. You have
+to specify.
+
+TRAVIS: Thought we were going to warm up into this
+thing!
+
+SAM: With the hooker?
+
+TRAVIS: No, we’re going out for a bit, right?
+
+LAURA: Why did you give them money, though?
+
+MATT: There’s a big, bassy (impact) that you can
+feel in your chest. There’s a flash of color
+
+outside, and there, out maybe 20 feet, looking up,
+Molly. There’s a flash of the firework in the sky
+
+going across his horns and form.
+
+TALIESIN: (maniacal laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, jesus. It begins.
+
+SAM: Okay, let’s go make the rounds.
+
+MATT: You walk out in this fair. Most people who
+have gathered here, they’re sitting there, they’re
+
+eating food, and they’re watching the fireworks as
+they go off. There’s a few folks out there, candle
+
+dancers, they have these light candles, and it’s
+this very slow, meticulous dance. They’re moving
+
+in the darkest places of the corner and give this
+almost will-o’-wisp-type performance. It’s really
+
+enchanting, and borderline creepy at times, when
+you can’t actually make out the forms of the
+
+dancer in the shadow. People are watching and
+keeping an intent look on it. Otherwise, the rest
+
+of this thoroughfare is apparently here, though
+you’re not sure how much businesses are open,
+
+since most people are in the process of recovering
+from a day of business. What do you want to do?
+
+LIAM: Predictably, I would like, as I follow this
+group around, to keep one eye open for a bookstore.
+
+SAM: The nerdiest raver.
+
+TRAVIS: Can we get you a card, and hold it up?
+Bookstore.
+
+TALIESIN: It needs dónde está la biblioteca?
+
+MATT: What else are you guys going to do?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m looking for vendors. I’m looking for
+things that are amusing. Bright lights, colors.
+
+SAM: If there’s any more of those sparklers or
+poppers around–
+
+MATT: Oh, yeah. There aren’t a lot of them,
+meaning there’s not an endless supply, but you go
+
+back to the same people that are just up the road
+to the right from the outside of the tavern. You
+
+can find the same two vendors you spoke with
+earlier.
+
+MARISHA: You want to buy them out real fast? Let’s
+go!
+
+SAM: Steal some?
+
+MARISHA: We can just pay for it.
+
+TALIESIN: You said there were silk flowers?
+There’s fake flowers? I want to see if I can find
+
+the best looking– that New Orleans, Halloween
+night, crazy beautiful, overproduced–
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check, and you make a
+perception check, Caleb.
+
+TALIESIN: (blows a raspberry) Goddamn it! No.
+
+SAM: That is not the Snitch. Just because it’s
+gold, doesn’t mean it’s a Snitch.
+
+MATT: Was it a natural one?
+
+TALIESIN: That was a two.
+
+MATT: Oh, so not quite a natural one. You come
+upon a number of vendors that have already given
+
+out all their flowers, so you’re having a hard
+time finding anybody that still have any for sale
+
+in this main central area.
+
+TALIESIN: If anybody sees, I’m looking for silk
+flowers. Really, something nice. Something super
+
+fancy, if you see anything.
+
+LAURA: I want to look for flowers too, then!
+
+MATT: We’ll come to that in a little bit.
+
+LIAM: I rolled a 19 for Buch.
+
+MATT: Okay, good to keep that in mind as we move
+on.
+
+MARISHA: We go pick up some more snappers and
+poppers, poppers and snappers.
+
+MATT: You go back to those two vendors. They’re
+both set up on the side. The one guy with the
+
+sparklers is still set up there, and the guy with
+the fireworks is still resting there on the edge,
+
+and the other guy with the flowers is set up on
+the side. There’s one guy with the sparklers and
+
+the fireworks who’s there, the thin, somewhat
+dopey-looking, young gnomish guy, and you have the
+
+flower vendor, who’s slowly settled into himself,
+like a barrel of a gnome.
+
+MARISHA: Nott, the flower guy’s creepy. Just felt
+like throwing that out there before we approach.
+
+SAM: Okay. All right, thank you.
+
+MARISHA: I go up to the snapper and popper guys.
+
+MATT: “Hey! Welcome back.”
+
+MARISHA: Need more packs.
+
+SAM: No. I want something more powerful.
+
+MARISHA: Plus all the packs.
+
+MATT: “I don’t really have anything more powerful
+than these.”
+
+MARISHA: Where do you find more powerful?
+
+SAM: Can you make something?
+
+TRAVIS: We’re arms dealing on fucking party
+night.
+
+MATT: He’s, at this point, locking eyes with you,
+Nott, and there’s like a look of recognition in his face.
+
+SAM: Gulp.
+
+MATT: “I don’t have anything of that variety. I’m
+sorry.”
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Nott, do you want to– just stand by
+me.
+
+SAM: I swoop back into the shadows and mingle.
+
+TRAVIS: Narc.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, don’t– why are your eyes wandering
+at her? What was that?
+
+MATT: “Sorry, we’re closing shop up for the
+night.”
+
+MARISHA: No, give me your packs!
+
+MATT: Then he goes and closes up his little
+satchel and walks away.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, you piece of shit.
+
+SAM: Sorry, that was my fault.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, don’t ever apologize for who you
+are, man.
+
+SAM: No, I–
+
+MARISHA: You can’t help that shit, first off.
+
+SAM: I should have known. I can’t talk to people.
+
+MARISHA: You can’t predict when people are going
+to be shitty.
+
+SAM: They’re always shitty. It’s a 100% accurate
+prediction.
+
+MARISHA: That’s pretty– that’s a good point.
+
+SAM: By the way, Beau, thank you for the other
+day.
+
+MARISHA: When?
+
+SAM: For talking to Caleb through his, you know.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, he’s a good guy.
+
+SAM: Just be sensitive around him. I know that
+that’s not your strong suit, but he doesn’t deal
+
+well with harsh criticism all the time.
+
+MARISHA: And you think you do?
+
+SAM: I’m used to it.
+
+MARISHA: That’s true.
+
+SAM: Tell me something, how did you know about
+this place?
+
+MARISHA: Hupperdook?
+
+SAM: Yeah, how did you know that the gnomes here
+get down with the funky fresh rhythm all night?
+
+MARISHA: The job that I had before I met up with
+you guys, in Zadash, information passes through.
+
+You hear things.
+
+SAM: What job?
+
+MARISHA: I worked at a library, the Cobalt Soul
+library.
+
+SAM: What’s a Cobalt Soul?
+
+MARISHA: It is a faction of monks.
+
+SAM: What kind of a faction of monks?
+
+TRAVIS: Is Nott slurring her words?
+
+SAM: Are you evil? Are you a bad guy?
+
+MARISHA: No, I hope not. I think it differs from
+day to day, depending on what I’m doing. Do you
+
+think I’m a bad guy?
+
+SAM: I don’t think so.
+
+MARISHA: That’s all that matters, right?
+
+SAM: But I don’t know, you seem to know a lot
+about a lot of things and sketchy things, too.
+
+MARISHA: That has to do with the job that I had
+before the job that I had.
+
+SAM: What was that job? I thought you grew up–
+didn’t your parents make wine or something?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: What was this about a job? Wait, little
+townsgirl, her parents are wine makers, now you’re
+
+a brutal assassin martial artist who can kill
+anything. What happened in between those two things?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, there’s definitely something
+missing, right?
+
+SAM: Yeah, right?
+
+MARISHA: Let’s catch up with the others while we
+walk and talk.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MARISHA: My dad was super protective and I was an
+asshole and rebelled a lot.
+
+SAM: You? No!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. You know, so when interesting and
+different people would pass through my hometown I
+
+started making some connections, started getting
+involved in some mainly illegal trading.
+
+SAM: Like what? What kind of stuff?
+
+MARISHA: I got in really big trouble from my
+parents because I started syphoning his cases of
+
+wine and selling them underground for half the
+cost, without tariffs.
+
+SAM: You were bootlegging your old man’s hooch?
+
+MARISHA: Yes, I was.
+
+TRAVIS: Industrious.
+
+SAM: Wow.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. On top of other things, that was
+like my big denouement, you know? I don’t know, I
+
+just grew to hate the town that I was in and the
+system that my father was a part of
+
+and so everything–
+
+SAM: Is he a bad person?
+
+MARISHA: He wasn’t a bad person. I think he just
+had bad direction. I don’t know, he could’ve been
+
+a good dad. He was a shitty dad and a good
+businessman.
+
+SAM: So you took matters into your own hands?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: And got in trouble, and were sent off to
+boarding school?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, kind of.
+
+SAM: With monks who are librarians and taught you
+how to kill with your fists.
+
+MARISHA: One day, he found out about what I was
+doing after I’d already gotten in trouble for, you
+
+know, a little bit of mild extortion, and a little
+bit of trading, little bit of trafficking. So I
+
+think he was already pretty irritated with me.
+Then he found out about my smuggling scheme with
+
+his wine. One day, he called me down into the
+living room and there was a whole group of monks
+
+and people in black. I tried to fight them off and
+they grabbed me and they drug me away.
+
+SAM: Wait, this was not by choice? You were
+abducted by monks?!
+
+MARISHA: My dad paid to get me abducted by monks,
+yeah.
+
+SAM: Oh my gosh.
+
+MARISHA: He wasn’t very proud.
+
+SAM: Are you okay?
+
+MARISHA: Sure. Great.
+
+SAM: Was it hard?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I mean, there were elements that
+were hard, but everyone has had hardships, right?
+
+What’s it matter? Besides, he sent me off to the
+monks. I think he was hoping that they were going
+
+to beat my indiscretions out of me. Instead, I
+think all of the things that my father saw in me
+
+that he hated, the monks saw as a potential
+advantage. So, in a weird way, I think it might’ve
+
+been the nicest thing he ever did for me.
+
+SAM: I’ve never thought of you as an optimistic
+person, but that’s a very positive way of looking at it.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, I still never really want to see
+him again, and I don’t think he wants to see me
+
+again, either. In fact, he told that he didn’t
+want to see me again. So it’s good. Yeah.
+
+MATT: At this point, you guys are caught up with
+the rest of the crowd as you guys have meandered
+
+your way and look up and you can see the rest of
+your party has been wandering the street.
+
+MARISHA: But, I do have a nice little wineskin
+that I keep reserved, of my family’s wine,
+
+if you want to taste.
+
+SAM: I would. Very much.
+
+MARISHA: I toss Nott the wine.
+
+SAM: I’ll just take a little sip, in case we have
+to do the Hour of Power later.
+
+MATT: It’s pretty damn good wine.
+
+SAM: Wow. That’s amazing.
+
+MARISHA: Anybody else wants a sip of my heritage?
+
+TALIESIN: Is that code for something?
+
+LIAM: It is hard to believe, but I was able to do
+the– I danced the waltz and the tarantella.
+
+It’s been many years.
+
+LAURA: Well, you should show me sometime, because
+I want to see it.
+
+LIAM: I am very much out of practice, and–
+
+LAURA: We can do it when nobody’s watching, okay?
+
+TALIESIN: I could see you as a waltzer. That make
+sense.
+
+LIAM: It does. A little bit.
+
+LAURA: I’m really good at the waltz.
+
+LIAM: I believe it.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. They taught me the same time I
+learned piano.
+
+LIAM: Is there anything else that you’re hiding
+from us? Any other quirks or skills?
+
+LAURA: So many. Lots of skills.
+
+LIAM: What are three more?
+
+LAURA: I can paint. I’m really good at baking
+scones. Specifically scones.
+
+TRAVIS: With cinnamon, right?
+
+LAURA: With cinnamon.
+
+MARISHA: Scones are hard to make.
+
+LAURA: I know. It’s a very tough recipe, but I’m
+good at it.
+
+SAM: The trick is to not overmix. You don’t want
+to overmix. Oh, sorry. We’ve been walking with
+
+your friend, Beau.
+
+LIAM: Wait. Hold that thought. So that’s two
+things.
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+LIAM: And the third is?
+
+LAURA: The third thing is something that I want to
+talk to Fjord about. Because if he’s that
+
+inexperienced, then maybe he should take some
+lessons or something.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god.
+
+SAM: Time is of the essence. He might be with a
+lady of the night later tonight. You might have to
+
+teach him quickly.
+
+LAURA: That’s true.
+
+LIAM: And was that skill learned or innate?
+
+SAM: Cram school.
+
+LAURA: No. It really was more of a learning sort
+of thing.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, study is key.
+
+LAURA: Yes. It’s all about studying.
+
+LIAM: That’s true.
+
+MATT: At this moment, Caleb, in listening to this
+conversation, your eyes focus on a sign post
+
+behind her on a building that reads Bent Binders.
+
+LIAM: I’m done here. I walk towards the store. Is
+it open?
+
+MATT: No. The windows are closed.
+
+LIAM: Oh my gosh. I press my nose to the glass and
+try to see what I can see. Is there a lot of books
+
+in there? Or just a few books? Or–
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+LAURA: I’ll go put my nose next to his nose on the
+glass. What are we looking for?
+
+LIAM: That’s a 16.
+
+MATT: As you look through, the combination of the
+two of you, eventually the glass fogs up and you
+
+can’t see anything. But from the brief moment you
+had, on the inside, it looks like there are a few
+
+shelves that contains some books. It looks like
+there is actually a binding press and tools for
+
+bookbinding in there.
+
+LIAM: From what I can tell, does it look like a
+technical place where they are just making books
+
+or do they have books for sale?
+
+MATT: It looks like they have books for sale, but
+it’s too dark for you to see if they are blank or
+
+if they are actual books at the moment.
+
+LIAM: I cannot tell if it’s a happy or a sad
+bookstore.
+
+MATT: You cannot tell yet, no. Just like
+Christmas, you must wait ‘til the morning.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Are there any silk flowers? I was looking
+for those.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TALIESIN and LAURA: Yay!
+
+SAM: Yeah. Tonight, when it doesn’t matter, you
+roll great.
+
+LAURA: Shut up. 15.
+
+MATT: Actually, as you guys are fogging up the
+window, you pull back and look to the left, and
+
+you can see this adorable little gnome girl with
+deep tan skin, her hair pulled in these cute
+
+little puffy buns in the side of her head, and she
+has this little basket that is just filled with
+
+these different-colored silk-material flowers.
+She’s standing there, smiling, and you can see an
+
+older gnome sitting in a rocking chair behind her
+with a big old pipe coming out of his mouth as the
+
+hat is half-covering his face and he’s just
+sitting there, rocking next to her.
+
+LAURA: I hop over next to her. (gasps) I’ve been
+looking everywhere for you.
+
+MATT: “Really?”
+
+LAURA: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: “Hi.”
+
+LAURA: You have the best flowers I’ve ever seen
+and I would like to buy some.
+
+MATT: “Oh, my goodness. Thank you so much. Okay.”
+
+LAURA: How much is a flower?
+
+MATT: “Dad, how much is a flower?” The guy sitting
+there rocking goes, “Take them a silver apiece.
+
+"Sorry, copper.”
+
+LAURA: A copper apiece.
+
+MATT: “Yeah.”
+
+LAURA: I will buy–
+
+MATT: “Copper.”
+
+LAURA: I will buy ten flowers from you.
+
+MATT: “You will get ten flowers from me.
+Lickety-split.” She goes and takes out a handful,
+
+counts them in your hand, “One, two–”
+
+LAURA: How old are you?
+
+MATT: “–three– I am five.”
+
+LAURA: You are five? That’s wonderful. Does your
+dad take good care of you?
+
+MATT: “Yes. He’s a good dad.”
+
+LAURA: Are you a good dad?
+
+MATT: “What number is that?”
+
+LAURA: I think that– I don’t know. I wasn’t
+counting.
+
+LIAM: 13. That was 13.
+
+LAURA: 13. I’ll buy 13. I give her two silvers.
+You know, I happen to have a little girl with me
+
+who is very cool and I think she would like to
+play with you.
+
+MATT: “What?”
+
+LAURA: Mm-hmm. She’s extra special, though, so
+you’d have to be very nice to her.
+
+MATT: “Oh, I’m very special, too.”
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Really?
+
+MATT: “Yeah!”
+
+LAURA: Where do you live? Because I could bring
+her over and you could play together tomorrow.
+
+MATT: “The house is two buildings down that way
+and back one street. You could see it has the red
+
+"brick on the base, by the door.”
+
+LAURA: Red brick on the base by door. I’ll come
+see you guys tomorrow.
+
+MATT: “Okay. What’s your name?”
+
+LAURA: My name is Jester. What’s your name?
+
+MATT: “Tara.”
+
+LAURA: Tara, so nice to meet you.
+
+MATT: “Nice to meet you, too.”
+
+LAURA: Red brick by the door.
+
+MATT: There’s this pause, and she goes, “Okay.
+Bye.”
+
+LAURA: Okay. See you!
+
+MATT: Then runs back and goes, “Dad, dad, dad,”
+and starts taking the copper and puts it in his
+
+hand and he’s, like, “Oh, that’s a fine job.” He
+pulls his hat up a bit and takes the coin. He
+
+looks over to you as you walk away and–
+
+LAURA: Does he seem like a nice dad?
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, that’s good. 22
+
+MATT: Seems like a nice enough dad. Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Happy Father’s Day.
+
+MATT: Anything else you guys wish to do? It’s
+starting to get relatively close to that hour window.
+
+LAURA: Do you want many of them? Because I just
+bought a bunch.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take two, then. Yep.
+
+LAURA: Flowers?
+
+SAM: Yes, please.
+
+LAURA: Flower?
+
+LIAM: One, please.
+
+LAURA: Flower?
+
+TRAVIS: Are there any authorities walking the
+street? Any crownsguard or kingsguard or–?
+
+MATT: There are crownsguard. It’s interesting,
+because there are half and half. For the large
+
+gnomish population here, you see half of the
+crownsguard are gnomish, and many of them have
+
+some form of firearm slung over their back and
+shoulders. The other half appear to be human or
+
+half-elf. The human/half-elf crownsguard appear to
+be less jovial and really paying attention to the
+
+chaos and generally trying to keep an eye out for
+anything untoward.
+
+TRAVIS: Just like sentry, though. They’re not
+concerned or turgid or stiff?
+
+MATT: In comparison to the rest of the people that
+are currently celebrating, yes. But even the
+
+gnomish crownsguard seem to be taking their job
+seriously, but they’re still part of the event.
+
+TRAVIS: Among their folks?
+
+MATT: You get the sense here that everyone else
+gets to celebrate and party at this hour and they
+
+don’t get to, so they cheat a little bit.
+Honestly, there’s more crownsguard at night than
+
+you expected. When you came into the city, it
+didn’t seem that heavily guarded, but now they’re
+
+out in a pretty serious force. You gather probably
+a combination of there being wartime, or because
+
+the nature of what this city builds. As you’re
+glancing out, on the outside of the ledge of this
+
+upper area, looking down, there are a number of
+torches out by where the construction yards are
+
+down below. Either people are working through the
+night down there, or there’s a fairly heavy
+
+presence of crownsguard present around these
+partially-constructed devices and machines of war
+
+that you saw being worked on earlier in the day.
+
+TRAVIS: Looks like they even go through the night.
+That’s some dedication.
+
+TALIESIN: That seems like a bit much, doesn’t it?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Work ethic can choke you in that
+way. Well, it’s about that time. Should we make
+
+our way back for whatever this is going to be?
+
+TALIESIN: I got what I needed. I’m ready.
+
+LIAM: Just a second. Nott, come here for a
+moment.
+
+SAM: Yes, Caleb, what is it?
+
+LIAM: Are you going to dance?
+
+SAM: Well, I think we’re going to drink first.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. But later, it seems like you want to.
+I think you should.
+
+SAM: I do like to dance.
+
+LIAM: Well, you should try it. You should enjoy
+yourself, but make sure that either Jester or I
+
+ties your mask on very tightly, yeah?
+
+SAM: Should I do the spell that you told me, the
+disguising spell, before the dance?
+
+LIAM: I mean, it would not be a bad idea.
+
+SAM: All right. I’ll do that.
+
+LIAM: All the same. Maybe stay away from direct
+light, you know? If you can stay a little bit away from it.
+
+SAM: Oh, because the shadows won’t match.
+
+LIAM: Ja, and some people are smart and it won’t
+work.
+
+SAM: Okay. I will. But you’ll keep an eye out in
+case anyone–
+
+LIAM: That is exactly what I will do.
+
+SAM: All right. Thank you.
+
+LIAM: You should enjoy yourself.
+
+SAM: I’ll try. If you want to join us, you could
+just point and clap, off to the side. You don’t
+
+have to dance. You can be there to, like–
+
+MARISHA: You guys know that dancing is about
+spontaneity and you are planning this dance, like
+
+when this is going to happen, so hard.
+
+LIAM: I am not dancing, so it is not really an
+issue.
+
+MARISHA: Let your heart go.
+
+LAURA: When you’re performing, you have to have
+specific moves.
+
+MARISHA: Sure.
+
+SAM: You saw the guys who kicked you in the face.
+They had planned-out moves that were really cool.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Like choreography. That’s what we’re
+talking about here.
+
+TALIESIN: They kick someone in the face every
+time.
+
+MARISHA: I like dancing to dance.
+
+SAM: All right. We’ll do choreography to the right
+and left, and you two be in the middle and just freestyle.
+
+LAURA: I think that will work out well. Make sure
+you use your scarves, though.
+
+MARISHA: Do you guys still have one of those
+wands?
+
+SAM: What wands? The Wand of Smiles?
+
+LAURA: I have that. I hit a random person with the
+Wand of Smiles as we walk by them.
+
+MATT: The gentleman who’s selling the flower bands
+is sitting, already smiling, and goes–
+
+LAURA: That guy knows.
+
+MARISHA: Here. I take off my belt ribbon and I tie
+it around your Wand of Smiles. Now you have a
+
+ribbon dancer of smiles.
+
+LAURA: Ah!
+
+TRAVIS: How many charges does that thing have?
+
+LAURA: I don’t remember.
+
+SAM: That’s probably it for the day.
+
+MARISHA: It recharges, right? Over time?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it has a few uses on it per day. You
+guys return to the Blushing Tankard Tavern. The
+
+music’s still blaring. Drinks are being thrown
+around. A bunch of people are singing big, old
+
+songs and clanking their tankards together and
+spilling onto the tabletops. The floor is already
+
+slick with spilled liquor here and there. It is a
+party that hasn’t stopped since you left. As you
+
+guys begin to enter, the dwarven woman who you had
+spoken with earlier gets onto one of the central
+
+tables and slams her foot on the table. Everyone
+starts looking over and she goes, “Attention,
+
+"arseholes! Might I have your leering eyes upon
+this supple and available specimen of a woman?”
+
+You hear some whistles. “Oh, thank you.” She bends
+forward with a wink to the crowd. “It’s as you’ve
+
+"all been waiting for: The Hour of Honor!” “Yeah!”
+Cheers, clapping. “The tokens and titles are at
+
+"stake. Ol’ Blemmy and his crew hold this winner’s
+tokens for the last three weeks,” and she gestures
+
+over and you can see a team there, mostly of
+gnomes. Ol’ Blemmy is this dwarf with one giant
+
+gash down his face, and the snow-blind eye in that
+socket is sitting there with this tuft of a beard
+
+that has been so unkempt that you can’t see his
+mouth. It’s this gray-black, salt-and-pepper bush
+
+that disappears into a chin beard. You assume he’s
+grinning beneath there.
+
+TALIESIN: Like Bread Papa?
+
+MATT: Kind of, yeah. Beard Papa?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, it’s all Beard Papa.
+
+MATT: “They’re not willing to let them go! Who
+wants to put up their coin and their balls to
+
+"topple these nobodies?” (chuckling) Folks start
+standing up and tossing some coin on the table at
+
+her feet and shouting out, “Five silver!” “A gold
+piece!” “Three gold over here!” People are
+
+standing up and their groups are starting to get
+amped up and ready. She’s like, “Keep them coming,
+
+"keep them coming!”
+
+TALIESIN: Ten gold?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure.
+
+TALIESIN: Ten gold.
+
+MATT: “Whoa. By the colorful newcomers– hi there,
+sweetie!”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh god.
+
+MATT: “Do we have more than ten gold here to try
+and take down these giants of drinking?” There’s a
+
+moment, and this one group in the corner, these
+coal-smeared gnomes that come from– you can
+
+assume now this is probably a heavy mining town.
+They’re sitting there with elements of their
+
+leather work clothes still on, and they’re all
+thinking and talking amongst themselves, and they
+
+all pull in a few more coins, and one of them
+comes forward, still wearing leather gloves from
+
+the day and pops down, “15 gold.”
+
+TRAVIS: Hmm, shit.
+
+MARISHA: 16!
+
+MATT: “18.”
+
+LAURA: 20 gold!
+
+MATT: He goes back, talking to them. Comes back,
+“25 gold pieces.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, come on! I don’t even know if I want to
+do that for 20 gold.
+
+TALIESIN: I just don’t know how to walk away from
+something like this.
+
+MARISHA: 25 and five silver!
+
+SAM: So petty.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh for god’s sake, 30 gold.
+
+TRAVIS: Price is right.
+
+MATT: At that point, everyone goes, “Whoa!” With a
+flourish, you place the rest of the 30 gold piece
+
+pot on the table. “Ooh.”
+
+TALIESIN: So you’ll all be giving me a little bit
+of gold for this later.
+
+MATT: “So?” Turns back and looks back at the
+miners, and they all go (heavy sigh).
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll be out of town in a week.
+
+MATT: They gather their gold off the table back
+again, and Irena goes, “Well, if that’s it, it
+
+"looks like our contenders for the night are–
+(quietly) what are you called?”
+
+TALIESIN: The Mighty Nein.
+
+MATT: “The Mighty Nein!”
+
+TALIESIN: If I want to be known for something,
+this is exactly what I want to be known for.
+
+MATT: Cheers and clamoring continue around, and
+everyone starts shouting and yelling.
+
+“All right, let’s set up these drinks people!”
+With that final slam on the table, she leaps off
+
+onto the ground and starts heading off towards the
+bar on the side. The other bartender– the gnomish
+
+gentleman there is rapidly clearing out tankards
+and drinks, and he’s starting to pull up bottles
+
+onto the countertop. They start pushing tables
+into the center again once more as the crowds
+
+begin to circle around, and Ol’ Blemmy and the
+rest of his rather rough-looking crew that have
+
+seen some life in their time–
+
+TRAVIS: Fraternity all-stars.
+
+MATT: They’re all pretty much gnomish middle-age,
+which could be anywhere between 100 to 200 years
+
+old, and you can see the weathering on their faces
+and their clothing. They look like they nearly
+
+drink professionally. They step up to the table
+and they figure out what order they’re going to go
+
+in. You guys figure out what order you’re going to
+go in?
+
+SAM: Are we all going?
+
+TRAVIS: Anybody who wants in.
+
+MATT: There’s five on their team, and talking to
+her a bit, she goes, “All right,
+
+there’s five competitors. You need to pick five of
+your team to compete.”
+
+SAM: Who’s the worst at drinking?
+
+LAURA: Well, I’ve never been drunk.
+
+SAM: Then maybe you should sit this one out.
+
+LAURA: But maybe I’m really good at it, you don’t
+know!
+
+SAM: Do we want this to be the thing that we find
+out on?
+
+TRAVIS: Probably not, Jester.
+
+TALIESIN: Caleb, how’re you feeling?
+
+LIAM: I don’t think I should go late in the game,
+but I feel capable of this challenge.
+
+TALIESIN: Excellent.
+
+TRAVIS: I can drink.
+
+MARISHA: I’m pretty good at it, too.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m ready for this.
+
+SAM: I’ve never had a drink in my life.
+
+TRAVIS: Our fucking team captain over here!
+
+MATT: Who’s sitting it out amongst you guys?
+
+LAURA: I guess it will be me.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, we need five.
+
+MATT: You need five, yeah.
+
+LIAM: We have eins, zwei, drei, vier, und fünf.
+
+SAM: Maybe you can be–
+
+LAURA: I’m taking my five gold back from him, and
+I’m stomping upstairs.
+
+SAM: You could be the manager of the team!
+
+TALIESIN: You can also drink along since we’ll
+have to buy your drinks for you.
+
+MARISHA: I can also give you some magic mushrooms
+if you want to slip them in their drinks.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s fungus, actually.
+
+LAURA: Oh, but I can work distraction.
+
+SAM: Yes. You can use your clerical mysticism to
+confuse and disrupt our enemy.
+
+LAURA: I stomp back down the stairs, and I join
+them.
+
+MATT: As you’re coming down, you notice, Jester,
+the crowds are all gathering, and there’s this big
+
+circle appearing around the central– they have
+two tables that are set up with a single bench
+
+each end. You can see a third table behind it
+where there’s probably going to be the dwarf woman
+
+overseeing this venture. You do see this little
+gnome girl that’s walking through the crowd, and
+
+her hands open, and people are–
+
+LAURA: Is it Tara?
+
+MATT: It’s not Tara, actually, but it’s a rather
+dirty-looking gnome little girl who’s thumbing
+
+through and getting pushed around a little bit,
+her hands are out in front.
+
+LAURA: I give her a little money. I give her a
+silver.
+
+MATT: She takes it and, “Thank you,” barely
+audible voice, and continues wandering in the
+
+crowd. So, the five of you guys are doing it?
+
+SAM, TALIESIN, TRAVIS, MARISHA, and LIAM: Yes!
+
+MATT: At this point, the dwarf woman comes back to
+the top of the tables there, looks out, “All
+
+"right, friends! I am but your humble evening
+mistress, Irena Clommop. And it is my pleasure to
+
+"present to you tonight’s esteemed head-to-head
+drinking battle between Ol’ Blemmy and crew, and
+
+"The Mighty Nein. First up of Blemmy’s crew, we
+have Duncan!” You see this one gnome gentleman
+
+come forward. Patchy beard, more of a Stonewall
+Jackson type, missing the centerpiece there. His
+
+eyes are bloodshot and red. His hair’s slicked
+back with some sort of a thick oil, and he’s
+
+wearing a leather apron over a white, stained
+shirt with the sleeves rolled up past his elbows.
+
+He sits up, gets on one end of the table, puts one
+hand on his tankard, and is waiting for his
+
+competitor. “And on The Mighty Nein’s side, who’s
+competing against old Duncan?”
+
+TRAVIS: Listen, the anchor needs to be you, Nott.
+You’re our ringer.
+
+SAM: All right. So I’ll wait until there’s–
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, do you want to kick us off?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take this in. I’m going to Riker
+right over the chair and sit down.
+
+MATT: “What’s your name?”
+
+TALIESIN: Molly, dear.
+
+MATT: “Molly! All right. So we’ll take turns.” She
+grabs this small barrel– it’s a handheld barrel–
+
+she pours both of your drinks to the brim. “When I
+clap hands together, you both drink! It’s not
+
+"first to finish, but it’s one drink after the
+next. First to pass out or lose their drink
+
+"forfeits. So with your drinks full, let’s begin!”
+With that, I need you to roll a constitution
+
+check. Roll a d20, add your constitution
+modifier.
+
+TRAVIS: Warm it up.
+
+TALIESIN: Ten.
+
+MATT: You watch as Duncan, takes it (gulping).
+
+LAURA: No wait, add your constitution. 12!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, 12, sorry.
+
+MATT: You’re drinking it and getting through it
+fine. You’re partway through your drink and he’s
+
+already finished (slam) on the table. It was a
+natural 20 on his end.
+
+ALL: Oh!
+
+MATT: You finish the drink, and you’re like
+(burp), a little effervescent, but it’s there. So
+
+that’s one loss on your end. How the rules work is
+that the first to three losses is the one– in
+
+these competitive spaces.
+
+MARISHA: So you have to drink fast? I thought you
+just said it didn’t matter how fast–
+
+MATT: No, that was just how fast he finished. The
+idea is you both make competitive constitution
+
+checks and the first to three losses in that
+competition is the one that either barfs or passes out.
+
+LIAM: Barf saves.
+
+MARISHA: Copy.
+
+MATT: Yeah, essentially. At that point, as soon as
+you guys drop the drinks, “Next round!”
+
+Fills up both of them, the crowd starts cheering.
+Go ahead and roll.
+
+MARISHA: Come on, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Ugh, goddamn it. Eight.
+
+MATT: He rolled a two plus two, so, four.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah!
+
+MATT: This time around, you manage to finish a
+little sooner than him. You put it down; he’s like
+
+(burp, then chuckling). Roll again. Fills up for
+the third round.
+
+TALIESIN: 20.
+
+MATT: You finish your drink a little bit sooner
+than him, plop it down. (burping, grunting) From
+
+behind him you hear Ol’ Blemmy go, “Don’t you lose
+it, boy!” A voice that grates like it’s been
+
+slammed across a hundred years of seawater.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, how is it?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s rough.
+
+MATT: Roll off again.
+
+TALIESIN: 19.
+
+MARISHA: Yes!
+
+MATT: You finish your drink. He takes his next
+one, pops it down, and you both stare for a
+
+moment. (coughing and spitting) Down the front of
+his shirt, the crowd’s goes like, “No!” Tries to
+
+scoop it back up, and they’re like, “No, and
+you’re out!” Irena kicks him out of the chair,
+
+“And he’s done! First round goes to The Mighty
+Nein!”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit!
+
+MATT: He gets off the ground, dazed. You are
+fucking drunk, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m very drunk.
+
+MATT: He topples back to you guys, you see Duncan
+get pulled back in the crowd, and Ol’ Blemmy’s
+
+like (inaudible muttering) and under his breath,
+you can hear a string of curse words.
+
+“Next up, we have Ruth!” You watch as this rotund,
+tough-looking, oval of a gnomish woman comes up
+
+there, her hair pulled into really tight braids in
+the side, with bright freckles and this grimace.
+
+This woman has seen some shit and lived. She gets
+up to the side, takes the same tankard, and goes,
+
+“I’ll show you how it’s done, Duncan. Fill it!”
+
+TRAVIS: She’s got nothing on you. She’s nothing!
+You got this!
+
+MARISHA: My resting bitch face is stronger! And I
+jump in.
+
+LAURA: I hop up on the table next to her and start
+yelling: Beau! Beau!
+
+ALL: Beau! Beau!
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+LAURA: I use Thaumaturgy to make it sound like
+other people are chanting with me.
+
+MARISHA: Yes, girl, yes!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a roll.
+
+LAURA: That’s a 21!
+
+MATT: With that, the crowd starts picking up on
+Beau, and the name, “Beau! Beau! Beau!” begins to
+
+resonate through the crowd. You lock eyes with
+this gnomish woman and you can see there should be
+
+color, but the irises are gray– slate gray– and
+it puts you off. There’s this intensity to her
+
+that you’re like, “Oh. This is–”
+
+MARISHA: Fjord, she has crazy eye.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll.
+
+MARISHA: Do I have advantage because people are
+chanting my name?
+
+MATT: No. But people are definitely invested in
+this victory. Go ahead and make your first roll.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t fuck me, Gil. 16.
+
+MATT: You both chug, slam it down at the same
+exact time. Both hold tight. It was a tie.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh no, you’re getting shithoused during
+this round!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I am!
+
+MATT: They fill up the drinks. “And next round,
+go!” Roll for it.
+
+MARISHA: Blue die. Okay! 21.
+
+MATT: You both (gulping)– you finish just before,
+slam the drinks down. (heavy exhaling)
+
+MARISHA: I’m not as tough as Beau.
+
+MATT: That’s one victory on your end there. Roll
+again.
+
+LIAM: Snap.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck. Seven.
+
+MATT: This time, she doesn’t even break eye
+contact with you. She tilts to the side (fast
+
+gulping), finishes it in seconds and slams it down
+(heavy slam, belch) and burps in your direction
+
+while you’re still drinking, and it catches you.
+That’s a loss on your end.
+
+TRAVIS: Burns your eyes a little bit.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Next one.
+
+TRAVIS: You got this.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t fuck me, Gil. I’m going to let it
+go, I’m going to let it live, 19. No, 20! No, 17,
+
+18, 19! I know math.
+
+MATT: Nice rolls! These are not saving throws,
+right? This is the actual check.
+
+MARISHA: Plus three.
+
+MATT: Got it. On that, as you both fill this next
+set of tankards, you drink, and you finish just
+
+before she does. Both slam down, and she’s
+starting to have to tough into it. You can see her
+
+grinding her fingers into the woodwork. This is a
+lot of drinking.
+
+MARISHA: I wipe the sweat off with my robe.
+
+MATT: That’s two victories to you, one victory to
+her. Fill up the next batch, the crowd’s still
+
+shouting, “Beau! Beau! Beau!” Next roll.
+
+MARISHA: Nine.
+
+MATT: This time she toughs it in, she grabs with
+both hands and chugs it down. The foam catches the
+
+corner of her mouth and she finishes it and she
+wipes it off and sips it off her finger.
+
+TRAVIS: Brutal.
+
+MATT: That’s a victory on her end. You guys are
+both tied, the next roll’s going to see who takes it.
+
+TRAVIS: Win or go home, Beau. Eye on the Cobalt
+Soul, here we go!
+
+MATT: “Beau! Beau! Beau!” Her left eye’s twitching
+as she’s glaring at you.
+
+MARISHA: All right, Gil. Comes down to you, boy.
+
+LIAM: Come on, Beauregard.
+
+MARISHA: Did she already roll?
+
+MATT: She did.
+
+MARISHA: (frustrated noise) Six. No, five.
+
+MATT: With that, you both chug, maintaining eye
+contact. You get partway into it, and then
+
+(coughing and retching) and you begin backing up
+into the tankard. You try and pass it off, and
+
+then as you drop the tankard to gather yourself,
+(spitting) it sprays onto the table.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry!
+
+MATT: “Oh!” The whole crowd worked up for Beau’s
+victory falls into a series of sad awws. Ruth
+
+finishes her drink, sets it on the table and
+(teeth sucking) turns around and goes back.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sure we’ve got bread around here
+somewhere, just find something to soak all of that up.
+
+MARISHA: Ugh. Okay.
+
+MATT: “Next up, we have Valkin!” You see now, this
+very young– looks like the runt of his family
+
+line of gnomes– comes forward. Looks very thin,
+bright-eyed, and very stark contrast to the rest
+
+of them, as he gets closer to the table and
+sits down. “Who’s my competitor?”
+
+LIAM: Ja hello, my name is Caleb.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Puts out a hand, “Caleb, it’s a pleasure.”
+
+LIAM: It’s a pleasure.
+
+MATT: “Best of luck. May the best gnome win.”
+
+LIAM: Let’s enjoy a good game. Did you just say,
+“May the best gnome win?”
+
+MATT: “Yes.”
+
+SAM: He’s trash talking! Don’t listen to him!
+
+TRAVIS: Keep him out of your head!
+
+LIAM: I am a very skinny man. Let’s do this.
+
+MARISHA: High metabolism. Use it!
+
+LIAM: Do not let me fall asleep face down in the
+gutter tonight.
+
+LAURA: Won’t happen.
+
+TALIESIN: That was an option?
+
+TRAVIS: For you.
+
+MATT: As you guys gather, the crowd begins to pull
+in a bit. The evening mistress leans down at you
+
+and goes, “Don’t worry lad. I can see you’re
+nervous, but just let the throat open and take it
+
+"in.” Leans back, “And first batch, go!” Roll off.
+
+LIAM: Grog die! Yes! 21!
+
+MATT: Oh shit! Unexpectedly so, little Caleb finds
+his taste for alcohol in this one, and with but a
+
+moment’s notice, downs the entirety of his glass,
+finishing it before Valkin does. Who says, “Oh,
+
+"well done. That’s impressive.”
+
+LIAM: Yes, it’s a good game. It’s just a game.
+
+MATT: Fills both of them again. Next round, go for
+it.
+
+TRAVIS: So polite.
+
+LIAM: (singing) Laurentia, liebe Laurentia mein.
+Wann woll-
+
+MATT: Your confidence overtakes you as you go into
+the second round of cups, and you manage to
+
+finish, but you have to stop halfway through. You
+have to actually go (heavy breathing) for the
+
+second serving. You take it down and finish it;
+however, as you pull your glass down, you can see
+
+Valkin’s there, leaning.
+
+LIAM: Enjoying the fumes. As they waft up again.
+
+MATT: “I can tell that. Well done, well done.”
+
+SAM: Maybe we should do our dance to distract his
+competitor now.
+
+LAURA: That’s a good idea.
+
+MATT: Their drinks are filled. Go for it.
+
+LAURA: Directly in front of Valkin, we start–
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Both of you guys make individual performance
+checks.
+
+LAURA: 19!
+
+SAM: It was 15, but 12.
+
+MATT: He does not seem to be distracted,
+unfortunately. What did you roll?
+
+LIAM: 13 for me.
+
+MATT: As you take a moment and (grunting and
+huffing)–
+
+LIAM: Nighty Mein never says die!
+
+MATT: You manage to finish the last bits of it,
+and it takes a moment. You can feel all the suds
+
+of the mixtures of drinks you’ve had tonight
+billowing in your stomach and churning. You hear
+
+the (gurgling) in your stomach. You’re like, oh
+that’s not good. That’s a second loss on your end.
+
+SAM: Oh no! No, Caleb, no!
+
+LIAM: I feel like it might go out the back exit
+instead of the front.
+
+MATT: They fill it up. Next roll.
+
+LIAM: Aw! 14!
+
+MATT: 14? With this, you see Valkin– he rolled a
+nine, plus three, so you win this one. He goes and
+
+takes it, finishes it. You both, within a second
+of each other, finish the drink and, “I got this.
+
+"You got this? I got this.”
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb, steady.
+
+LIAM: I swat him on the side of the face.
+
+MATT: “No, don’t! Don’t touch.”
+
+LIAM: I do it again. It’s good!
+
+MATT: “Ah no! Don’t do it please!”
+
+LIAM: It’s good for you! Drink!
+
+MATT: Fill up the last batch. You guys both, final
+roll.
+
+LIAM: Natural 20.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Natural 13 on his end. With that, he
+finishes the drink and goes, “Told you! Boo yah!”
+
+Gets up from the table, turns around, and (thud)
+faceplants right in the ground. Crowd goes, “Yeah!
+
+"Caleb!” Pick him up.
+
+LIAM: I nod, cooly, for a second, and I just turn
+and go (spitting).
+
+MATT: You pull your way away from the table.
+Success is yours. That’s now two victories on your
+
+end. One for Ruth there and two final competitors.
+“Second to last competitor, the powerhouse, The
+
+"Walking Brick herself, Tanya!” This dwarven woman,
+who looks like Rosie the Riveter on steroids,
+
+comes around the corner. She has her sleeves
+rolled up past the deltoids. She has these massive
+
+hands with a bit of the dwarven hair gathered on
+the outside of the forearm. Big, square jaw,
+
+missing the two front teeth, and she grins as she
+sits down. She has most of her hair up and tied
+
+into this cloth. She got a bit of the coal smears
+on her cheeks.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah Tanya! Woo!
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. I’ll throw my leg over the chair and
+sit down. Evening.
+
+SAM: All right, Fjord!
+
+MATT: “Ah. Evening to you.”
+
+MARISHA: I like Tanya!
+
+TRAVIS: You ever done this before?
+
+MATT: “Oh, like all the time. You?”
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+MATT: “Well, good luck then. I’m happy to see how
+long you last, big boy. Fill it up!” They fill the
+
+drinks. Take your first swig there.
+
+TRAVIS: 16.
+
+MATT: You both finish neck and neck, but you still
+manage to get it down faster. As you both stand
+
+there, she looks at you with a nod of being
+impressed. “Not bad, not bad.”
+
+TRAVIS: Is that all there is to this?
+
+MATT: “Oh, we’ve just gotten started.”
+
+TRAVIS: Fill her up!
+
+MATT: “Fill her up!” Fill the next round.
+
+MARISHA: Nott, she said you were bad!
+
+TRAVIS: 13.
+
+MATT: She beats you with a 16. As she goes ahead
+and finishes off, sets it down and just waits for
+
+you to finish, fingers crossed, and goes, “Cute,
+cute. Not as strong as coming out of the gate. Is
+
+"that all you got? You going to lose the wind in
+your sails there, green boy?”
+
+TRAVIS: I admit, I feel a little weak. I can’t
+tell if it’s the drink or if it’s your beautiful
+
+visage sitting in front of me.
+
+MATT: You hear this voice go, “Ah, ey ey! He’s
+mine.”
+
+TRAVIS: Shit. Fill her up.
+
+MATT: They fill up the two drinks.
+
+LAURA: I want to cast Mirror Image on myself in
+front of… her. What’s her name?
+
+SAM: Tanya.
+
+LAURA: Tanya, and wiggle to make it look like her
+vision’s starting to double.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, that’s bad. Yeah, that was the goal.
+Eight!
+
+MATT: Eight. You manage to do so. She doesn’t seem
+to be paying attention to you. Caleb, you’re
+
+getting really nauseous watching Jester do this
+little dance off to the side.
+
+LAURA: Whoa-oa-oa.
+
+MATT: Make your roll.
+
+TRAVIS: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: No shit! Okay!
+
+LIAM: That is one smooth seaman.
+
+MATT: That’s two victories to you, one victory to
+her. With that one, you finish it abruptly, slam
+
+it down, and you’re like oh, you’re actually
+gaining a round. That weird swirling in your
+
+stomach has faded and you’ve come into your own in
+this game. She’s looking– you see the sweat
+
+appearing on her brow. She’s like, “That’s okay.
+There’s more where that came from! Fill it up! I
+
+"got his number, come on!” Make a roll off.
+
+TRAVIS: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: What the shit!
+
+MARISHA: Fucking champ!
+
+TALIESIN: Eye contact never broken!
+
+MATT: And with that, Tanya goes down. She gets
+halfway through the drink before, “No. Sorry,” and
+
+looks back towards Ol’ Blemmy before she leans
+forward and stumbles out of the chair. One of the
+
+other people picks her up and pulls her to the
+side, and Ol’ Blemmy’s just sitting there, fuming.
+
+TRAVIS: Never get into a drinking game with a man
+of the sea.
+
+MATT: She goes, “And with that, it looks like Ol’
+Blemmy’s team has fallen! That’s three victories– ”
+
+at which, Ol’ Blemmy puts up a hand and goes,
+“Not yet! I haven’t competed. One of theirs hasn’t
+
+"competed. How ‘bout we make a deal? Last fight:
+double or nothing.”
+
+LAURA: Wait, we can win money from this thing?
+
+SAM: It was always about money.
+
+LAURA: I thought we only got tokens or something
+for free drinks.
+
+TRAVIS: Nah, we win money. There’s money in it. I
+like it. I say we go for it.
+
+LIAM: I like it as well, but only if you can match
+this diamond worth, oh… about 100 gold.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you putting in the f– well.
+
+LIAM: Give me something like that or there’s no
+deal.
+
+MATT: They look at each other going, “I think
+that’s a little rich for our tastes.”
+
+LIAM: Oh.
+
+LAURA: Aw, no, fuck it! Let’s just do it without
+that deal! Double or nothing! Go Nott! Yeah!
+
+SAM: She’s the worst negotiator ever!
+
+TALIESIN: This is such a change of pace from last
+year. It’s so exciting.
+
+LAURA: All my mirror images are like, yeah!
+Drink!
+
+MATT: “Who’s going to come after me then?”
+
+SAM: I’m scared.
+
+LAURA: You’ve got it Nott!
+
+SAM: All right. I’ve looked in the– by the way,
+Matt– I’ve looked in the thing. The–
+
+TRAVIS: The dodecahedron.
+
+SAM: The dodecahedron.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: All right, I’ll try. Hello, sir.
+
+MATT: “This? This is what you bring before me as
+an offering?”
+
+TRAVIS: You know, she’s called the Bottomless Pit.
+(hiccups)
+
+MATT: “I’m going to crush you, little green one.”
+
+MARISHA: Fuck his shit up, Nott! Fuck his shit
+up!
+
+SAM: All right, I’ll try!
+
+LAURA: Are you under Disguise Self?
+
+SAM: No!
+
+MATT: It’s great. When he talks, you see the
+bristles of the beard– You can see as the evening
+
+mistress up at the top goes, “All right! Looks
+like we’re going to get to see Ol’ Blemmy strain
+
+"through his baleen after all! Get to the sides of
+the table. Let The Whale take a drink.”
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: The Whale?!
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit!
+
+SAM: I don’t have this.
+
+TRAVIS: You already have this!
+
+MARISHA: Bottomless pit!
+
+MATT: The dwarf sits down. His mitt completely
+encompasses the tankard with his giant dwarven
+
+hand. “Against Ol’ Blemmy we have?”
+
+SAM: (stammering) Hello. I’m Otto.
+
+MATT: “Otto!”
+
+LAURA: Woo!
+
+SAM: Sorry.
+
+TRAVIS: Otto the Bottomless Pit!
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+MATT: “And drink!” Pours the drinks, make a roll.
+
+SAM: It’s a five.
+
+LIAM: You could use it now?
+
+MATT: Are you going to go with it?
+
+SAM: Yeah, I’ll use it now! Okay, that’s better.
+That’s 17.
+
+MATT: 17? You both chug down. You manage to finish
+quickly, slam it down. Oh, this isn’t as bad as
+
+you thought. You’ve have much harder liquors than
+this. The froth is filling at the edges of his
+
+mustache and as he pulls it down, there’s a
+coating of foam from the drink resting there. A
+
+tongue comes out of nowhere, this Cousin Itt
+broom-like beard, the tongue takes the suds in.
+
+That was a victory on your end.
+
+SAM: I feel good. This feels right.
+
+TRAVIS: Otto!
+
+LIAM: Get it, von Bismarck!
+
+MATT: Next batch. Make the roll.
+
+SAM: I take out a bit of fleece and rub it and
+cast Silent Image on myself, to make a pussy eye,
+
+something real gross that looks real disgusting.
+That’s an 18.
+
+MATT: 18? That’s pretty damn good. Ol’ Blemmy
+finishes his drink. That’s two for two victories
+
+on your end there. He’s not had the best luck
+rolling these last two rounds. He finishes it
+
+down, “You’re small, but I can see why they call
+you the Bottomless Pit.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, BP!
+
+MATT: He grabs the barrel from the person and
+fills his own last tankard, hands it off. “Let’s
+
+"go.” Take the roll.
+
+SAM: Can I drink this with Mage Hand pouring from
+way up there?
+
+MATT: If you really want to, sure.
+
+SAM: I do.
+
+MATT: So you’re like, “Ah!” catching it
+underneath. The crowds like, “Yeah!” clamoring. Go
+
+ahead and make your roll.
+
+SAM: Only 14.
+
+MATT: As it’s coming down, it’s splashing on your
+face a bit. You’re trying to catch it all.
+
+SAM: I got too cocky!
+
+MATT: You manage to catch most of it and you
+finish it. You realize that the liquors that
+
+you’ve been having are not been mixing well with
+this particular drink. You’re starting to feel–
+
+oof. That’s a victory on his end.
+
+SAM: Oh no!
+
+MATT: All you hear is this subtle (chuckling).
+Roll for the next one.
+
+SAM: I don’t think I can do it!
+
+TRAVIS: Jester cut him! He can’t see you out
+there, cut him!
+
+SAM: Cut my eyes! Cut my eyelids off!
+
+LAURA: What? No! You got this, Nott! I’m going to
+cast Bless.
+
+SAM: Oh, what does that do?
+
+LAURA: I think it gives you advantage on saving
+throws. Is this a saving throw?
+
+MATT: No, but you’re blessed.
+
+LAURA: But I cast it on you!
+
+MATT: All right, make your roll.
+
+SAM: That’s a 21.
+
+MATT: He rolled a natural 16 with a plus four
+modifier, that puts him at 20.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: (chanting) Break the tank!
+Break the tank!
+
+MATT: As you both finish the drink, everyone is
+like, “Yeah! Oh–” The whole crowd backs up for a minute.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott!
+
+SAM: Sorry.
+
+MATT: Ol’ Blemmy leans forward and goes, “Wait a
+minute. Are you a fucking green–” and passes out
+
+on the table, the saliva pools before him. The
+crowd goes wild!
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Irena leans does and fiddles through his
+pockets and pulls out his token. He goes, “I do
+
+"believe that you’ve earned this!”
+
+SAM: Thank you.
+
+MARISHA: (drunkenly) And we get our names on the
+board!
+
+SAM: What does this get me?
+
+MATT: “Oh, it get you free drinks here for the
+rest of the week. Or until someone takes it from you.
+
+TRAVIS: Free drinks?
+
+SAM: Guys, we can drink more!
+
+MARISHA: (drunkenly) Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: (drunkenly) Yep.
+
+LAURA: You guys look like shit.
+
+LIAM: There’s three of you.
+
+LAURA: There are, yes.
+
+MARISHA: My mouth is watering.
+
+SAM: Let it be known that The Mighty Nein can take
+on any competitor and win! Victory will be
+
+ours in any arena!
+
+MATT: "Yeah!” Cheers go up there. Already, there’s
+somebody off in the corner who’s whittling a block
+
+of wood and carving “The Mighty Nein” into it to
+put on the wall. The rest of Ol’ Blemmy’s team
+
+begrudgingly come up and drunkenly pass forward
+their tokens and pass them over to you. You have
+
+five drink tokens. Five of you can drink for free
+at this bar.
+
+SAM: Well worth it.
+
+LAURA: Is there money involved here?
+
+MATT: It was double or nothing, so that’s 60 gold.
+They end up having to pony up the rest of it.
+
+There’s a 20% cut for the house though, so that’s
+60 gold, losing 20% of that.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take 20 of that because I put in–
+
+MATT: That’s 48 gold go back to you guys.
+
+LAURA: I take five because I gave Molly five.
+
+MATT: Okay. Everyone claps you on the back and
+starts cheering and shaking your hands and stuff.
+
+“Oh, that was amazing!”
+
+TRAVIS: Tell me you have biscuits and gravy or
+something.
+
+MATT: “We will in the morning.”
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that will be perfect.
+
+MATT: “Well, if you’re looking for a meal– ”
+
+SAM: Oh yeah!
+
+MARISHA: She wants to fuck your brains out.
+
+TRAVIS: You know, I think I have some more
+libations in me.
+
+SAM: Fjord, why not? We’re in Hupperdook. Dook it
+up!
+
+TRAVIS: I know. The night is young! It’s young!
+
+TALIESIN: I can crash in another room. It’s
+perfectly fine.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s young, Molly!
+
+LAURA: We do have an extra room.
+
+TRAVIS: No, it’s fine!
+
+MARISHA: He’s too drunk to fuck.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, that’s not true. I’m fine.
+
+MARISHA: He’s a little embarrassed. His penis gets
+a little limp after a few drinks.
+
+TRAVIS: Wow. Not at all.
+
+MARISHA: It’s nothing personal.
+
+TRAVIS: She doesn’t know me like that. It’s not
+real.
+
+MATT: “I have a friend who’s an herbalist who has
+something could help with that.”
+
+TALIESIN: You have a friend who’s an herbalist?
+
+MARISHA: Do you have a topical cream? Nevermind,
+that’s a different problem.
+
+TRAVIS: Where’s your pisser?
+
+MATT: “Oh! It’s up, third floor. There’s a bit of
+a water closet. Just aim for the hole, please.”
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll be right back. I go.
+
+MARISHA: It’s his penis problem again. What?!
+
+MATT: You guys are trashed.
+
+LIAM: You– you are very– you are– you are very
+drunk.
+
+MARISHA: That’s very observant.
+
+LIAM: Am I also very drunk?
+
+MARISHA: Can you feel this? Slap!
+
+LIAM: I assume I take one hit point of damage. Or
+1d4, from a monk.
+
+MATT: I’d say you take a hit point.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re drunk. You’re real relaxed.
+
+MARISHA: Did you feel that? My hands are stinging
+now.
+
+LIAM: (singing) Oh, The Mighty Nein is The Mighty
+Nein. The Mighty Nein is The Mighty Nein. The
+
+mightiest nine that ever neined!
+
+SAM: I like that song!
+
+LIAM: (singing) Nine mighties, mighties nine!
+
+LAURA: Do you guys need to go to bed or
+something?
+
+MARISHA: I think I’m going to puke.
+
+SAM: I’m totally fine.
+
+LAURA: You sound pretty normal, actually, Nott.
+
+SAM: This is great.
+
+MATT: Nott, you are intoxicated. You are
+fearless.
+
+LIAM: I thought we were going dancing.
+
+SAM: I can do anything!
+
+TRAVIS: Holy shit!
+
+SAM: I can surf on a truck!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Give me five minutes. I’m going to go
+out. I’m going to go behind the alley. I’m going
+
+to barf. I’m going to clean myself up, and then
+I’m going to go back in a little bit more put together.
+
+TRAVIS: Puke and rally!
+
+MARISHA: Yep!
+
+LAURA: I’m going to ask Caleb to waltz with me.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Nott, I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud
+of you! So well done!
+
+SAM: You were great out there.
+
+MATT: In the midst of everything dying down,
+people are starting to get pretty sloshed, and the
+
+energy level, while still rather rowdy, some folks
+are starting to tap out for the night. Jester
+
+drags Caleb into the center of the tavern floor,
+takes hands, and Caleb, almost running out on
+
+autopilot, who does have some minor experience in
+the past. Go ahead and make a performance check
+
+with disadvantage, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: That’s cocked. That’s okay. With advantage,
+you say?
+
+MATT: Disadvantage, because you’re drunk.
+
+LIAM: That’s very low. Very low. That is a five.
+
+MATT: Caleb, a moment passes before Jester begins
+leading you, but you guys continue, the two of
+
+you, to have a very nice little waltz in the
+middle of the area. Quietly, the music begins to
+
+change. What was once the rowdy bar music
+transitions into an actual waltz piece as the
+
+musicians notice this happening. The three fourths
+begins to pick up. One two three, one two three.
+
+As you guys continue to dance, a few other couples
+begin to get up and start faking it. They don’t
+
+seem to know, but they’re watching, playfully
+making up their own waltz-type maneuver. An
+
+impromptu, half-assed waltz begins to develop here
+in the center of the tavern.
+
+SAM: Mollymauk?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m in!
+
+SAM: We’ll dance a bit.
+
+MATT: You guys begin to join this as well. Which
+one of you is leading?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll lead.
+
+SAM: Absolutely!
+
+MATT: Molly’s leading. Nott’s at his beck and call
+as you guys begin to dance around in a circle.
+
+Beau and Fjord, you’re drunkenly staring at this.
+
+TRAVIS: I actually did not come back down.
+
+MATT: Oh, that’s right. You’re still upstairs.
+Fjord is passed the fuck out upstairs.
+
+TRAVIS: I might have passed out in the pisser.
+
+LIAM: Out there dancing: You were always a better
+dancer than me, Astrid. You were always so good.
+
+LAURA: Astrid?
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+LAURA: Oh, well, you know, Caleb–
+
+LIAM: I break away. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
+
+LAURA: Caleb, do you need to go to sleep?
+
+LIAM: I stumble away.
+
+LAURA: No, no, no! I grab his jacket.
+
+SAM: Yes, you’re way stronger!
+
+LAURA: You are not going to go pass out in the
+street. You told me to be in charge of this. I
+
+walk him upstairs and makes sure he gets in bed.
+
+MATT: Jester goes and tucks Caleb into one of the
+rooms, in bed comfortably.
+
+LIAM: You are blue.
+
+LAURA: Yes, I am, and you are very nice and a
+little stinky.
+
+LIAM: (singing) One of those things is true, and
+you are blue.
+
+LAURA: I’m sure Astrid loves you very much. I tuck
+him in.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to grab Beau before we head
+up.
+
+MARISHA: I’m coming in the door. Let’s keep going!
+What?
+
+TALIESIN: Is it all right if I try something? No,
+nothing like that. I just wanted–
+
+MARISHA: I will fucking punch you if you try and
+kiss me.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh god!
+
+MARISHA: I know I’m attractive.
+
+TALIESIN: How is your hangover? Whatever team your
+on, I’m not sure I play for that one. It’s Team
+
+“fuck off,” I’m well aware. How are your hangovers
+normally?
+
+MARISHA: Normally, I’ll wake up and I sweat it
+out.
+
+TALIESIN: I got a weird thought. This may feel
+weird. I’m going to try my blood maledict.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to do the Purgation advanced
+to see if I can cure a hangover with it. I don’t
+
+know if it will work. Technically, it’s a poison,
+and I’m willing to drop some HP into this. It gets
+
+a little fancy and it’s mostly to see if I can
+clean it up a little bit. Maybe it’ll work, maybe it won’t.
+
+MATT: Are you going to amplify it or not?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, yeah. I want to see if it works.
+
+MARISHA: I’m a hot mess and I like it!
+
+MATT: Make a constitution saving throw, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Saving throw?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: God, this one does this every time.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a fucking tease.
+
+MARISHA: It’s kind of a dick. Six.
+
+MATT: You manage to sober her up a little bit, but
+you’re still pretty tipsy. From going blackout
+
+drunk, you’re now heavily buzzed and right at
+drunk.
+
+TALIESIN: I feel like this could be very useful.
+I’m going to work on this.
+
+MATT: What’s interesting is, as you finish this,
+out of some of the pores, the actual alcohol is
+
+drawn out, hovers in the air for a second before
+dropping on the ground.
+
+MARISHA: No! No, that was a party foul!
+
+TALIESIN: I wouldn’t touch that!
+
+MARISHA: Was that inside of me? Did you touch
+inside me? Oh, fuck.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you for being part of my little
+experiment.
+
+MARISHA: All right, now what?
+
+TALIESIN: I was just curious if I could pull
+liquor out of people. I’m going to go throw up on
+
+Fjord, excuse me.
+
+MATT: Oh, no!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to find Fjord and make sure
+that however I throw up, it makes it so it looks
+
+like he did it to himself.
+
+(groaning)
+
+MATT: No! Not like that!
+
+LAURA and MATT: Not like this.
+
+MATT: Do you leave Fjord in the bathroom?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, god no. I bring him back in.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys all make yourselves back to
+your rooms. As you check inside, Yasha is asleep
+
+in a corner, there with her sword at the side,
+ready. Curled up against her chest is Kiri, also
+
+asleep, bundled up, a little bustle of feathers.
+
+LAURA: She tried to shave her.
+
+MATT: You guys eventually find yourselves to rest
+for the night, sleep. Long arduous morning comes
+
+to, as the sun comes up through the windows. The
+sound of distant, wandering roosters crowing at
+
+daybreak break you into consciousness. The
+hangovers are real. Beau’s doing okay. There’s a
+
+little bit of a hangover, but not too bad.
+Jester’s totally sober. Yasha’s sober.
+
+LAURA: Sober! I’m doing ribbon dances in the
+bedroom.
+
+TALIESIN: Fuck off.
+
+MATT: Jester, as you and Beau start to get ready,
+you guys start gathering your things. Beau, your
+
+coin purse is missing.
+
+(gasping)
+
+MARISHA: Motherfucker. Who did it? Jester! My
+coi– fuck. Fuck, I’m still hungover! Goddamn it!
+
+LAURA: What?
+
+MARISHA: My coin purse is missing!
+
+SAM: Her koi pond!
+
+MARISHA: My koi pond!
+
+LAURA: Your money is gone? Is my money still on
+me?
+
+MATT: You still have your money on you.
+
+LAURA: I still have my money. What happened to
+yours?
+
+MARISHA: Motherfucker, there was 300 gold in
+there!
+
+LAURA: You should really spread it out, Beau!
+That’s really not good! Should we go looking for
+
+it? Maybe you dropped it under the bed. Can I
+start looking around the room?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: Someone’s going to fucking die.
+
+LAURA: 16.
+
+MATT: You spend a few moments looking around, and
+it’s nowhere to be seen in the room.
+
+LAURA: I think somebody might have taken it from
+you.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I think that’s exactly what
+happened.
+
+LAURA: Oh no. I wonder if that’s a common thing
+when people get drunk like that.
+
+MARISHA: We’re going to go talk to Irene right
+now. I bet she knows the motherfucker. We’re going
+
+to fucking track him down.
+
+LAURA: Irena?
+
+MARISHA: Whatever that bitch’s name is. Let’s go!
+
+MATT: All right, is everybody else waking up?
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+LAURA: Hey! I knock on the doors really loud.
+Check your coin purses!
+
+(groaning)
+
+LAURA: Make sure you have your money still!
+
+TRAVIS: What’s wrong with you?
+
+SAM: Do we have our money?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+SAM: Wait, all of our money is gone?
+
+MATT: Nott, Molly, Fjord, your coin purses are
+gone, and we’re going to take a break!
+
+TRAVIS: You!
+
+MARISHA: I lied; I had way more in there than
+that. We just got fucking– (exhales deeply)
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a lot of money.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a lot of money.
+
+LAURA: What about Caleb? Does Caleb have his
+money?
+
+TRAVIS: (screaming)
+
+MARISHA: All two gold?
+
+LIAM: All five of my gold. Do I have my
+motherfucking books?
+
+MATT: Your books are still with you.
+
+LAURA: What about your diamond?
+
+MATT: Your diamond you keep with your components.
+That wasn’t missing. It was just the coin purse missing.
+
+MARISHA: All right guys, here’s the deal–
+
+LAURA and MATT: We’re taking a break.
+
+MARISHA: No, fuck! I’m so angry! Fuck!
+
+MATT: Hold it!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: I love that woman. All right, guys, we’ll be
+back here in a few minutes. Stay tuned for the
+
+break. We have Jason Charles Miller’s video about
+his awesome album. Check it out, and we’ll see you
+
+here in a few minutes.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: And welcome back. Returning to where we
+were, The Mighty Nein, coming to consciousness,
+
+most of them with a roaring hangover, have come to
+realize that all of their money has been pilfered.
+
+Other than Jester and Yasha, everyone else appears
+to, at some point during the evening, lost their
+
+monetary gains. As you guys are finding this out,
+what do you do?
+
+SAM: I accuse Jester of stealing our money!
+
+LAURA: Me? Why would I steal your money?
+
+SAM: You’re right. It’s stupid.
+
+LAURA: That is really dumb.
+
+SAM: We, as detectives, should think clearly about
+this and figure out: when was the money stolen?
+
+Did you all have your money after the competition?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we put our winnings– we split it
+up and threw it in the pack.
+
+SAM: Between the competition and bedtime, our
+money was stolen.
+
+LAURA: So it had to be somebody that seems
+inconspicuous, walking around the room and
+
+stealing people’s money!
+
+TRAVIS: It’s that damn bird.
+
+LAURA: Kiri? I think she’d be noticeable
+downstairs taking people’s money.
+
+SAM: Is Kiri with us?
+
+MATT: Kiri is with Yasha.
+
+SAM: Kiri, did you steal our money?
+
+MATT: (chirping), (like Jester) “Go fuck
+yourself!”
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t stop there. She’s a kleptomaniac. I
+can tell!
+
+LAURA: I might be able to help us. Also, there was
+this little girl who seemed really sweet, but she
+
+was walking around inconspicuously throughout the
+room, and maybe she did it.
+
+MARISHA: I also don’t think this was necessarily a
+one-person job. Normally there’s a couple people
+
+doing stuff like that, or one person is a runner,
+and one person is a looker.
+
+LAURA: Maybe we should ask Irena if it happens
+often when these things go on.
+
+TRAVIS: I thought you said you had something.
+
+LAURA: Oh, yes. I have a spell that can locate
+objects.
+
+SAM: That cuts down on our detective work a lot.
+
+LAURA: Well, I could locate potentially a money
+purse.
+
+MARISHA: Do you remember what my bag looked like?
+It matches my sash that you still have on your wand.
+
+LAURA: It’s on this wand, yes!
+
+MARISHA: I almost forgot we tied that on! That was
+funny. Man, we were drunk.
+
+TRAVIS: Can we bring the volume level down?
+
+MARISHA: Sorry.
+
+SAM: But it was only the five who competed who
+were robbed.
+
+LAURA: It was only the five who got stupid
+drunk.
+
+MARISHA: We were super drunk.
+
+SAM: It could be because we won, and Blemmy’s crew
+stole our money.
+
+LAURA: We should find out if Blemmy’s crew also
+got stolen from. Do we remember if Blemmy’s crew
+
+hung around the tavern afterwards?
+
+MATT: To your memory, they didn’t. Shortly after
+the competition, tucking their tails, they went to
+
+find another place to drink and not have to be in
+the eyes of people that watched them lose.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+SAM: So we’re going to talk to Irena, and then
+we’re going to maybe find Blemmy, or maybe just
+
+follow Locate Object.
+
+LIAM: We are not going to start with the spell
+that will lead us to it?
+
+TALIESIN: I say we start the spell now in case
+they decide to throw away the coin purses. Unless
+
+somebody knows something that was in their purse
+that was of actually of value that they could
+
+recognize. I need some bacon. Does anyone have
+money for bacon?
+
+LAURA: I still have money.
+
+MARISHA: Nott, did you have any of those trinkets,
+like my jade bracelet, in your bag?
+
+SAM: I’m wearing it.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck!
+
+SAM: No, I only keep my valuable things in other
+pockets.
+
+LAURA: It has to be within a thousand feet, and it
+only lasts for ten minutes.
+
+SAM: Within how many feet?
+
+LAURA: A thousand. Which is not that far.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s see if we can get some tips, and
+that’s something later.
+
+LAURA: What if I cast Zone of Truth on Irena?
+
+MARISHA: That’s not a bad idea.
+
+SAM: Well, let’s sees if she talks first.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s a good idea.
+
+LAURA: But how will we know if she’s telling the
+truth? She seems shady as fuck.
+
+SAM: Does she? I haven’t talked to her.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I don’t like her at all.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s try not to escalate anything too
+quickly yet.
+
+SAM: Molly could use his masculine wiles to talk
+to–
+
+LAURA: I think Fjord should do it.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I have masculine wiles?
+
+SAM: You have pan wiles?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m into it. I’ll take it.
+
+LAURA: “The affected creature is aware of the
+spell.” Always?
+
+TALIESIN: Why don’t we save that for the moment
+that we have somebody we definitely want to
+
+interrogate, instead of somebody who might tell us
+they don’t know anything.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s go down and talk to Irena.
+
+TALIESIN: And get breakfast.
+
+LAURA: We go looking for Irena. I think she did
+it.
+
+MATT: You guys head down to the bottom floor of
+the tavern, and it is empty. From seeing it so
+
+busy the night before, it is just 20-odd empty
+tables. There is Irena at the bar, who’s
+
+currently sitting down in the process eating a
+sandwich, probably looking a little hungover
+
+herself. Sitting at a far table, in the middle of
+cleaning out her fingernails, is Rissa.
+
+LAURA: Rissa did it.
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: No.
+
+SAM: She did it.
+
+LAURA: We should get them at the same table and
+ask them questions, because they have to be within
+
+15 feet of me.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t think it was her. She’s been
+nice.
+
+TALIESIN: If it was Rissa, what is she still doing
+here?
+
+LAURA: Oh, good point.
+
+SAM: I still think she did it.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m thankful for your seedy background
+right now, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s get some breakfast, before
+anything happens.
+
+MARISHA: With what fucking money, Molly?
+
+LAURA: With my money. I’ll buy you guys breakfast.
+(singing) Irena!
+
+MATT: You walk up. “Good morning. You’re all
+looking appropriately fucked.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, in a few ways.
+
+MATT: “What can I get for you?”
+
+SAM: Bacon.
+
+MATT: “Breakfast can be done, let me grab that.
+Sid! Sid, more breakfast!”
+
+LAURA: Irena, did you see anybody taking all of
+our money last night?
+
+MATT: “No, why? Did someone take all your money
+last night?”
+
+LAURA: Does it happen all the time when people do
+this drinking game?
+
+MATT: “If you’re not paying attention and you have
+a lot on you, well, that’s your own fault.”
+
+MARISHA: Do you know anyone where that’s their
+little side hobby?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know anyone particularly, but it
+happens sometimes. That’s why most folks that go
+
+"out only take a few coins with them.”
+
+TRAVIS: The fucking kids had, like, six coins on
+them. Happens all the time.
+
+MATT: “If you’re walking around with a bank in
+your pocket, I mean, you’re asking for it.”
+
+LAURA: Wait, what did you guys do with our cart?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s out front.
+
+TALIESIN: It was strung up.
+
+TRAVIS: It was tied to the hitching post.
+
+LAURA: Would you have woken up in your drunken
+stupor?
+
+LIAM: Of course I would.
+
+SAM: We’ll go check.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, we go look at the cart. Is it still
+there and protected?
+
+MATT: You turn around and the cart is protected.
+There are crownsguard that patrol the main area.
+
+It’s not as busy as it was last night, of course.
+It seems they come out in full force. A lot of
+
+them seem to sleep during the day and then come
+out at night to keep watch, because that’s when a
+
+lot of things happen, but there are a few. There’s
+one that’s posted on the far corner. It looks like
+
+nobody’s messed with the cart because it is out in
+the open.
+
+LAURA: Should’ve left our money in the cart.
+
+TRAVIS: Excuse me! Can I have a mi– (hiccups)
+minute of your time?
+
+MATT: Are you referring to–
+
+TRAVIS: The crownsguard.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you’ve exited the tavern.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m walking out.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m sitting down to breakfast.
+
+LAURA: I’m going back in the tavern.
+
+SAM: Me too.
+
+MATT: The food is being brought out to you slowly
+over the next 30 minutes or so. The crownsguard
+
+looks to you. He’s human, a bushy, not really
+well-kept blond beard.
+
+TRAVIS: Morning.
+
+MATT: “Morning.”
+
+TRAVIS: You go first, yeah. (breathing deeply)
+
+MATT: “You all right there, buddy?”
+
+TRAVIS: We tied one on last night, in a harsh
+way.
+
+MATT: “I can see you’re newcomers to the town,
+then.”
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed. So much so that we seem to have
+been relieved of our coin during last night’s revelry.
+
+MATT: “You don’t say.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Does that happen a lot around here?
+
+MATT: “To conspicuous folks? Maybe. It happens
+every now and then, we try and keep an eye out
+
+"there. As with any place of business, there is
+always going to be some element of theft. Nothing
+
+"we saw out of the ordinary, but we can begin to
+investigate if you like.”
+
+TRAVIS: Well that might not be necessary. I
+believe it was our fault. But just out of
+
+curiosity, is there anywhere in town that, I don’t
+know, there might be an infestation of this sort
+
+of problem? Do you know any common areas where
+folks engaged in this sort of activity might
+
+gather at night or in the day? Areas of trouble
+that you’ve dealt with before– oh god, am I sweating?
+
+MATT: “You are, profusely. I can’t say there’s a
+specific region. If anything, the workplaces here
+
+"are not teeming with that element. The industrious
+nature of the city keeps itself busy in a very
+
+"visible place. Perhaps, somewhat here in the
+Idleworks Shelf, there’s the residential areas of
+
+"Silver Falls. Those are probably the more likely
+areas. I wouldn’t look in the lower half. Up here
+
+"in this shelf and beyond would probably be the
+most– Are you sure? I don’t mind, I could
+
+"probably keep an eye out. Is there any information
+you have about these individuals who robbed you may be?”
+
+TRAVIS: (sighs) We’re a little light on details,
+unfortunately. You know what, I’m going to go eat
+
+a half a cow, and then maybe once that’s soaked up
+some of this I’ll return. If I remember anything else.
+
+MATT: “Yeah, I think you should go do that.”
+
+TRAVIS: All right, thank you, have a good
+morning.
+
+MATT: “You too.” He sits back into his post,
+looking a bit confused.
+
+SAM: Ask Irena about the little girl.
+
+LAURA: Irena, what about the little girl?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.
+Which little girl?”
+
+LAURA: There’s a little girl that was walking
+around last night that was asking for money and stuff.
+
+MATT: “Oh yeah, the beggar. She comes in every now
+and then. Some folks help her get along.”
+
+LAURA: She doesn’t steal things?
+
+MATT: “Not that I’ve seen. She’s like a waif.
+What’re you talking about?” Make an insight check.
+
+MARISHA: Is she lying to me? Does she know more?
+12.
+
+MATT: I mean, as best as you can read she seems to
+be forthright. As best as you can read.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast Zone of Truth.
+
+MATT: Okay. So what’s the saving throw on that?
+What’s the DC?
+
+TRAVIS: I like it.
+
+LAURA: Charisma…
+
+TRAVIS: Cut to the fucking chase!
+
+LAURA: 15.
+
+TRAVIS: Trim the fat!
+
+MATT: No, she fails. She goes like, “What’s going
+on?”
+
+LAURA: What are you talking about?
+
+MATT: Because if I recall, yeah, she is aware of
+the spell. She’s like, “What sort of trickery are
+
+"you doing here? I don’t like this. I’ll ask you to
+leave.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, I don’t think you need to do that. I’m
+just, you know, curious about what happened last
+
+night, if you have ever seen any shady figures in
+here.
+
+MATT: “There are many shady figures that come
+through here. It’s a town.”
+
+TRAVIS: (cooing) More specific!
+
+LAURA: Do you know of anyone who would’ve stolen
+coins from people?
+
+SAM: Who was here last night?
+
+MATT: “There was a lot of people here last night.
+I know you’re asking me– Look, I’m a
+
+"shady-looking character sometimes as well. I can’t
+pick it. There’s a lot of hard-working people here.”
+
+LAURA: Did you steal the money?
+
+MATT: “I did not steal your money!”
+
+LAURA: I’m just checking. Do you know who stole
+our money?
+
+MATT: “No, I don’t know who stole your money!”
+
+LAURA: Hey Rissa, come here for a second!
+
+TALIESIN: But if you were going to suspect
+somebody, who would it be?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know. You damn well pissed off Ol’
+Blemmy. He’s a possible one. Otherwise, I don’t
+
+"know if anyone got too friendly with you last
+night. I mean you’ve got to get close to take your money.”
+
+LAURA: Was anyone friendly with you guys?
+
+TALIESIN: Not with me.
+
+MATT: “I didn’t send any people up to your rooms,
+because you told me not to pay for– I was holding
+
+"your cash, which I’ve still got by the way. And
+the offer still stands. But–”
+
+MARISHA: Is there a thieves’ guild?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know, probably.”
+
+LAURA: Rissa, come here!
+
+MATT: Rissa comes up. “I can help you?”
+
+SAM: Irena, if Molly was interested, would you
+like–
+
+LAURA: Snip his–
+
+SAM: No, just like–
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t understand what you’re trying to
+imply here.
+
+SAM: Nevermind, let’s go to Rissa.
+
+LAURA: No seriously though, what was this? Why is
+this having sex?
+
+SAM: Don’t you guys use scissors when you have sex
+with each other?
+
+MARISHA: Is this a goblin thing?
+
+TALIESIN: This might be a goblin thing.
+
+SAM: This is real.
+
+LAURA: Stop it.
+
+LIAM: Just a boulder parchment shears reference.
+It’s simple.
+
+LAURA: Rissa! Do you know of anyone who steals
+money from drunk people?
+
+MATT: “Not personally. I’m sure there are folks
+out there.”
+
+LAURA: Did you see anyone taking our friends’
+money last night?
+
+MATT: She rubs her temples and you can tell she is
+a little hungover herself, too. She’s like, “No…”
+
+TALIESIN: Did those two gentlemen come back into
+the bar at any point?
+
+TRAVIS: Fitz and Ashton.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, good call.
+
+MATT: “I saw them come in at one point, but then
+leave when they noticed I was still hanging with
+
+"you folks, so thank you for that. I appreciate
+that.”
+
+TALIESIN: I mean, at the very least that’ll be
+fun.
+
+LAURA: Man. Do we have any other questions to ask?
+Who are you all attracted to. Do you guys like me?
+
+SAM: That’s what I was trying to get to. Wait, us?
+We have to answer truthfully?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, because you were standing next to me
+anyway.
+
+LIAM: If you’re within 15 feet.
+
+SAM: You’re not my type.
+
+MATT: If all the rest of you are in the area?
+
+TALIESIN: Everybody’s my type. I’m really pretty
+easy.
+
+LIAM: I was at the door. I don’t know how big the
+place is.
+
+MATT: If anybody else steps into that zone, you
+have to make a saving throw.
+
+LIAM: I was going to do something before Jester
+did what she did.
+
+MARISHA: What was your question?
+
+LAURA: Who are you attracted to? Do you like me?
+Are we friends? Do you really like me and stuff?
+
+MATT: Make a saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: Wow, that was a layer of questions.
+
+SAM: I like you. You’re nice.
+
+LAURA: Really?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+MATT: Charisma, right?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: What is it, charisma saving throw? 16.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you resist it.
+
+MARISHA: I like you a lot. Here’s the deal.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Has there been a raise in criminal
+activity? Is there something in the town that
+
+would start provoking people to want to pickpocket
+more? Is the rise in the war effort bringing
+
+people down? There’s got to be some reason.
+
+MATT: Rissa goes, “I mean, it’s possible, I
+imagine. People are distracted. They’re working
+
+"hard. They’re having to push out double time in a
+lot of their work to get things out to the front
+
+"lines. It’s possible.”
+
+TALIESIN: Whoever took our purses has our drink
+tokens too.
+
+MARISHA: They do have our drink tokens. That was
+in the bag.
+
+TRAVIS: You didn’t need to remind her, she’s ready
+to pop as it is, all right?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just saying that if drink tokens
+come back to the bar–
+
+LAURA: Then you know. (gasps)
+
+MARISHA: I wouldn’t come back the next night if it
+were me. I would want to make sure that we were gone.
+
+TALIESIN: But somebody’s got them.
+
+LIAM: How could they even use them? Because only
+the winners that everyone saw won them.
+
+SAM: They’re probably not going to use them.
+They’re just one drink. They would keep
+
+all the hundreds of gold.
+
+TALIESIN: I would keep it, though.
+
+MARISHA: But I think that could be a better
+target for your lost object spell.
+
+That’s what I was thinking.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Because it probably blends in. Are
+they the same sort of shape as regular coins?
+
+MATT: They are, but they’re wooden and a little
+bit bigger than an actual gold coin.
+
+TALIESIN: Anytime I’ve stolen something I
+couldn’t use later I’ve always kept it for
+
+sentimental reasons. I’m not sure why.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s a prize. It’s a reminder of
+your good job.
+
+LAURA: That’s smart. Should I cast it?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t steal anymore. Much.
+Sometimes–
+
+MARISHA: Hang on. Irena.
+
+MATT: “Yes? What you asking?”
+
+MARISHA: Do you have any new staff members?
+
+MATT: “No, it’s just me and Syd.” At this point
+Syd brings out the last of the food, the male
+
+gnome who you saw when you first entered. He’s
+like, “So, all of your food is ready. Enjoy.”
+
+MARISHA: You mentioned being able to get us
+friends and other type of services. Where do you
+
+find those resources?
+
+MATT: “Through a friend of mine.”
+
+MARISHA: What’s her name?
+
+MATT: “Why are you asking me all these
+questions? I didn’t send anyone up to your room,
+
+"and I’m not going to spill all of my business
+propositions your direction.”
+
+MARISHA: I don’t think you did any of that at all.
+I just think you might know who did. Even if you
+
+don’t consciously know, I think you have an idea.
+
+MATT: “Not really, lass.”
+
+LAURA: She’s telling the truth.
+
+LIAM: Do you give a shit about our problems?
+
+MATT: “No.”
+
+TRAVIS: Rissa, do you know where this Ashton and
+Fitz stay?
+
+MATT: She nods and takes another sip of her
+morning coffee, and goes, “Aye, they’re about two
+
+"blocks down from my father’s… shack. A couple of
+kids that– although at this hour they’re probably
+
+"working at the anvil.”
+
+MARISHA: If I wanted to go hock some stolen goods,
+where would I go?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know. I haven’t hocked stolen goods
+around here. I’m sorry.”
+
+SAM: One more question!
+
+MATT: To which one? You have both Rissa–
+
+SAM: Irena. Where does the pianist live?
+
+MATT: “What, of the band?”
+
+SAM: Yeah, the guy playing the piano.
+
+MATT: “Here! He has a room on the third floor.”
+
+LAURA: Well, maybe if I cast Locate Object we’ll
+find out.
+
+SAM: What’s his name? We never asked.
+
+LAURA: He was really talented, though. I mean,
+like, super duper.
+
+MATT: He was Weimar.
+
+LAURA: Weimar.
+
+TALIESIN: He had to flip a page for that one. It
+was exciting.
+
+TRAVIS: Why don’t we start by going around where
+Fitz and Ashton lived and then maybe we can pay a
+
+little visit to Rissa’s pops?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, she said they lived by her pops’
+place.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, we’ll go and I’ll cast Locate Object
+and maybe we’ll just pass by something.
+
+TALIESIN: I wanted to meet Pops anyway. He sounds
+interesting.
+
+MATT: She’s like, “Oh, all right. Fair warning–
+pardon me, rough morning.”
+
+TALIESIN: We feel that.
+
+MATT: “So where are you wanting, are you looking
+for the boys? The Steelbringer’s Forge first, or
+
+"going to my pop’s place?”
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll go to your father’s place first. I
+think we’ll maybe, if we’re in the mood, pop into
+
+their place while they’re not home, perhaps.
+
+MARISHA: Who? What, the Fitz and that guy?
+
+MATT: “Okay, follow me.��� She gets up and finishes
+her coffee, sets it back down, and you guys take
+
+whatever scraps remain of your breakfast and make
+your way back out into the street.
+
+LAURA: Pocket bacon! Before we leave, I ask Irena,
+who’s still in the Zone of Truth, are you really
+
+interested in Fjord or are you just flirting with
+him because it makes you some money and stuff?
+
+MATT: “Both? I’m a businesswoman, but I’ve got my
+needs.”
+
+LAURA: Oh. Okay. Thank you. I cast Locate Object
+on the coins.
+
+SAM: Already? We’re not there yet. Now? Okay.
+
+LAURA: It lasts for ten minutes. What if it’s in
+the tavern still?
+
+SAM: Makes sense.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you cast it. You’re in the tavern.
+You’re not getting anything.
+
+SAM: Let’s run!
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to put you on a cart, and
+we’re going to take the cart.
+
+LAURA: I feel like we’ll walk faster than the cart
+will go.
+
+TALIESIN: Will we walk faster than the cart will
+go?
+
+MATT: In the town, getting the cart around can be
+a bit of a pain. It’s comparable, but you also
+
+have to deal with a cart.
+
+LAURA: Let’s walk quickly!
+
+MATT: Rissa leads you further through the Shelf. At
+this point, once again, the town is fairly quiet,
+
+and most folks you do see in the street are in the
+process of carrying supplies. There are a few
+
+horse-drawn carts that have stacks of metal ingots
+that are being taken from above or below, or vice
+
+versa. You can see partially made metal plates and
+curved structures of larger things that are being
+
+developed and created separately and then all
+being brought to a singular location, probably
+
+down near the artillery yard. It’s a very
+interesting black and white, day and night
+
+separation of how the people live in this city. A
+short jaunt around, probably the spell does fade
+
+before you get there, but you’re still not picking
+up any blip. About a few minutes after the spell
+
+fades, you get to the outside of a small shack.
+It’s got metallic siding, there are rivets in it.
+
+You see it has a roof that is metal sheets. There
+is a smokestack on top that’s giving out this lazy
+
+smoke drip that makes its way into the sky, and a
+sign out front that says “Tinkertop Inventions.”
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Aw!
+
+TRAVIS: When we get there after our run, I chuck
+up a little salsa into the back of my throat and
+
+swallow it down.
+
+TALIESIN: Really? All right.
+
+MATT: She goes (sighs). Rissa rolls her eyes, and
+knocks on the metallic door. “Yes? Come in.” “Dad,
+
+"it’s me. I have some friends here, they just want
+to say hi. They got thieved.” “Oh, that’s all
+
+"right, come on in, certainly!” (sighs) She opens
+the door, and on the inside, you already hear the
+
+whirring of hundreds of tiny clockwork objects. On
+the inside, you can see, wall to wall, clocks of
+
+all sizes. Some broken, springs exposed. Some that
+are fixed, and clicking away. Some that have small
+
+sculptures that move in a circle around a central
+area. You can see partially made pulleys, small
+
+toys that are set up on the corner, some wooden,
+some metal, and all of them have some sort of
+
+built-in clockwork locomotion to them, though they
+are currently still. There are two sets of
+
+lanterns that are hanging in the back, giving the
+faint light which is, as you enter, giving this
+
+dark silhouette to a lot of these objects, but as
+you walk into the light and look behind you, you
+
+can see the detail work in them, and they’re very
+beautiful and very well-made. It’s at that point you
+
+hear a (crash) “Ah! Ugh!” You glance over and you
+can see, hopping up and down, running his hand
+
+like this, this older gnome character with patches
+of white-gray hair, this big bush of a white
+
+beard. It’s well-trimmed up here and then comes to
+a point at the bottom. Very large spectacles with
+
+a number of smaller and even smaller lenses in the
+front of it. He’s currently wearing a leather
+
+apron and sleeves that are rolled up, and one of
+his hands is currently now bleeding on the edge
+
+and he’s like (distressed noises). “I’m terribly
+sorry about that! Come forward! She said you’re
+
+"the friends of my lass there. How are you doing?
+What’s your names?”
+
+TRAVIS: Morning. We’re The Mighty Nein. We had the
+pleasure of meeting your daughter yesterday. She
+
+showed us a great time last night.
+
+MATT: “Oh, did you, dear? That’s so nice! You’re
+making friends.” Rissa’s like, “Dad, please stop
+
+"it. Look, they just wanted to come by, they had
+some questions, I think. Do what you’re going to
+
+"do, please, so we get going.”
+
+TALIESIN: How close are we to the other houses at
+this point? To the boys?
+
+LAURA: Probably not within a thousand feet.
+
+MATT: The boys, she mentioned earlier, are a few
+blocks down, or a few buildings down and up from
+
+where you are. “Well, at the very least let me
+introduce myself! I’m Mastermaker Cleff Tinkertop!”
+
+LAURA: Cleff or Cliff?
+
+MATT: “Cleff.”
+
+TALIESIN: I was excited to see what sort of
+stuff–
+
+MATT: “Creator and experimenter of all things
+metallic and clicking!”
+
+LAURA: Your shop is beautiful!
+
+MATT: “Thank you so much! I appreciate that! So
+yeah, what can I do for you?”
+
+LAURA: Do you have any little toys that Kiri would
+like?“
+
+MATT: "What’s–?”
+
+SAM: Kiri’s our little daughter, she’s a bird.“
+
+LAURA: Kiri is right here.
+
+MATT: You look over and Yasha’s still behind. Kiri
+(chirping). He’s like, "That’s a mighty big bird!”
+
+LAURA: She’s a little girl.
+
+MATT: She leans forward, looks up to him. (like
+Cleff) “She’s a mighty big bird!” He’s like,
+
+“That’s a nice trick on that one! I like that.”
+
+LAURA: She’s very talented.
+
+MATT: “Do you like–” and he pulls this small
+contraption, it’s actually a miniature version of
+
+what you saw those large bolt throwers that were
+constructed out front, where it has this bowed arc
+
+and there’s a small, blunted stick in it. He goes,
+“All you do is pull back on this trigger.” Ping!
+
+It fires off, narrowly missing the side of Beau’s
+head, hits something, and you hear glass shatter
+
+in the background and he goes, “Oh, maybe not that one.”
+Puts it back. (cranking) And hands something over
+
+to Kiri, who accepts it. There’s a moment where
+things are awkward and there’s a tension, and
+
+you’re about to go– before it opens up and from the
+inside you see this tiny metallic bird, its wings
+
+flap up and down. A music box begins to play
+(metallic song) and Kiri, looking at this, begins
+
+mimicking exactly the sound of the music box
+(metallic song). It’s almost one beat behind it,
+
+until it synchronizes, and she’s mimicking at such
+an incredibly fast pace behind it that they’re
+
+almost in unison, until eventually it slows down
+and comes to a stop. Kiri looks back to you (chirping).
+
+LAURA: Do you like it? How much is that?
+
+MATT: “Oh, that one, it’s a beautiful piece. I’ll
+be happy to let it go for about three gold pieces.”
+
+LAURA: Three gold pieces. I think that’s worth it,
+Kiri. Okay. Three gold pieces.
+
+MATT: There’s a whole smattering of cool
+contraptions, now that you’re looking at the back, too.
+
+Some that look like they could be armaments,
+almost. Some that look like they’re the insides of
+
+larger machine pieces.
+
+TALIESIN: What’s the thing you’re most proud of?
+
+MATT: “Ah, proud of, now? I have one thing I’m
+working on, if you want to see it.”
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, absolutely!
+
+MATT: “Okay! I’ve been hoping they’d pay attention
+to this. Since the whole war’s going on, I think
+
+"it’d be quite useful. I’ve lost some good favor
+with folks in power, but I hope maybe this will
+
+"turn my fortune around.” He goes around, off to
+the shelf, and pulls this down, and a bow of some
+
+kind that’s affixed to this large device. It looks
+like a crossbow, but it’s got a heavy crank on one
+
+side, and it has all these extra grooves put in
+where it’s easy to assemble a bolt in there. The
+
+actual shaft of it is made of this polished,
+treated wood, with metal casing where the grip is.
+
+It’s like a half-clockwork, gear-based crank hand
+crossbow.
+
+TRAVIS: A repeating crossbow.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a repeating crossbow.
+
+SAM: How does it work?
+
+MATT: “Well, you lower the bolt into here, and you
+crank it back real fast,” and it’s like
+
+(squeaking) as he cranks it, “I probably have to
+oil this. Crank it. Then, you just release!” This
+
+one goes, just parting Caleb’s hair, into the roof
+above.
+
+LIAM: How many gold is that toy?
+
+MATT: “Well, this one, you see, I had a friend of
+mine go ahead and help prepare it
+
+"with some magical enchantment.”
+
+LAURA: (distorted) Whoa!
+
+SAM: What the fuck was that?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know, it sounded like a cow, or
+like a manatee was at the table, I don’t know.
+
+MATT: “I call this one The Tinkertop Boltblaster
+1000.”
+
+LAURA: Whoa!
+
+TALIESIN: What happened to the other 999?
+
+LAURA: How much is it?
+
+MATT: “This one runs just over 2000 gold.”
+
+LAURA: Whoa, that is a lot of gold.
+
+MATT: “Well, it’s my prototype, so if I’m going to
+let it go…”
+
+SAM: Am I allowed to rob him?
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: No.
+
+MATT: Rissa’s like, “Dad, they don’t want it, it’s
+fine. No one wants all your bullshit, please.”
+
+TRAVIS: That’s not true, it actually is quite
+impressive.
+
+MATT: “You wouldn’t say that if you’d known what
+some of his other things have done.” He gets quiet
+
+for a second and recoils, quietly hurt. He goes,
+“It comes with the job sometimes. Not everything
+
+"works out like you hope.”
+
+TRAVIS: You said you’d lost some favor with people
+in power. I don’t mean to pry, but would you mind
+
+sharing what happened?
+
+MATT: “Uh–” and Rissa’s like, “Ah, it’s– you
+don’t have to answer him. We can go find the
+
+"boys.” “It’s all right.” Make a persuasion check.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on. Shamone! Oh, yeah, that’s a 20.
+
+MATT: 20? You see his trepidation there, and he
+goes, “You look like you’ve got an honest face,
+
+"so: I was working on a job here for the wardens of
+the Gearhold Prison down below. I was helping them
+
+"and came up with, at their request, what would be
+a clockwork warden. Something that could help keep
+
+"watch over some of the more dangerous and
+difficult inmates of the prison below. And I did
+
+"it. I was very proud of it. On its first foray, it
+had some faults I didn’t see coming, and we
+
+"couldn’t control it. It began to just destroy
+whatever was in its way.”
+
+LIAM: Are you speaking of an automaton?
+
+MATT: “More or less.”
+
+LAURA: Did it kill people?
+
+MATT: “They tell me. They keep it down there
+still. They’ve sealed it off and it’s been
+
+"there for the better part of two years and every
+now then, they like to remind me. I didn’t mean
+
+"anything bad by it. I was just doing my job and I
+thought I was very proud of my work. I didn’t see
+
+"the problems there. I was just trying to help.”
+
+MARISHA: How do they remind you?
+
+MATT: “They come by and tell me.”
+
+TRAVIS: Are there punishments levied against you?
+
+MATT: “Thankfully, not many. I’m still paying off
+my fine. They were going to try and destroy the
+
+"thing, but unfortunately they’ve had to allocate
+their attention to many places, and now with the
+
+"war coming, I don’t know if they’ll ever get to
+it. But as long as it’s down there, it’s a black
+
+"spot on my name, and her name.” Rissa goes, “Dad,
+just please stop it.”
+
+LAURA: We could destroy it.
+
+SAM: Or get it back for you.
+
+LAURA: And then you could give us the crossbow.
+
+MATT: “I don’t want to send any more people to
+their death, at the very least.”
+
+LAURA: We’re really strong.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we’re kind of death-adverse.
+
+MARISHA: Plus, we would love to pay for your
+crossbow, but we’re currently light.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck, we’re broke.
+
+LAURA: All of our money was stolen. All of their
+money was stolen. I was sober.
+
+MATT: “Good for you.”
+
+LAURA: Thank you.
+
+MATT: “A learned lesson for the rest of you.”
+
+LAURA: It was a choice, you know. Everybody else
+was like, “Let’s get drunk!” and I was like, “That
+
+"is really bad and I should probably stay sober.”
+
+MATT: “I’m very proud of you. I mean, that sounds
+very kind of folks that wandered in here naught
+
+"but a few moments ago.”
+
+SAM: What would you do if you had the thing back,
+or–
+
+MATT: “Oh, I don’t want it back, I just want it
+gone. I want it destroyed, I want it taken care of
+
+"and buried. I don’t want to touch it.”
+
+MARISHA: Wait, who wandered in here before?
+
+MATT: “You.”
+
+LAURA: Yeah, he was just talking about us. You’re
+still drunk, aren’t you?
+
+TRAVIS: Are you afraid this clockwork warden could
+be used for malign purposes?
+
+MATT: “I don’t think it could be used for anything
+but just killing what’s in front of it right now.”
+
+LIAM: So they have it penned in, but it is out of
+their control?
+
+MATT: “From what I know. You’d have to go ask the
+Wardenhelm. I don’t go down there places. I mean,
+
+"I can’t expect you to do something like that. It’s
+very sweet of you to offer.”
+
+TRAVIS: It’s tit for tat. In this case, we’re
+short on coin, and you make mighty fine objects.
+
+Seems to have caught the eye of most of our
+group.
+
+MATT: “I mean, in a theoretical space, which is
+where I live most of my days, if you were to put
+
+"this blight to rest, I’d be happy to give this to
+you free of charge and my thanks.”
+
+TRAVIS: We will take it under consideration.
+
+MARISHA: And, just while we’re talking, you
+wouldn’t happen to know of any criminal
+
+undergrounds, thieves’ guilds, pickpocketers,
+people of the night?
+
+MATT: “I don’t–”
+
+MARISHA: Roamers of shadows?
+
+MATT: “I don’t delve in those places. I’m sorry.”
+
+LAURA: Vampires, zombies?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know what’s going on!”
+
+SAM: It’s okay. Calm down.
+
+TRAVIS: Cleff, do you also have simple arms?
+
+MATT: “I deal with more detailed arms. If you’re
+looking for simple, you’re probably going to go to
+
+"the Steelbringer’s Forge.” Rissa goes, “That’s
+where the boys will probably be. That’s where they work.”
+
+TRAVIS: Probably heading that way anyway. The
+anvil.
+
+SAM: Cleff, you know, you seem to have a fine eye
+and talent for mechanical devices.
+
+MATT: “Thank you very much.”
+
+SAM: Do you ever have any need of alchemical
+combinations with your mechanical devices?
+
+MATT: “I’m always looking for fine oils. Clockwork
+tends to need to be lubricated.”
+
+SAM: I think I have a little oil, if you need it.
+As a sign of good faith. Didn’t we get oil at some point?
+
+LAURA: I don’t think so.
+
+MARISHA: I threw mine at a troll.
+
+SAM: Wait. Oh, wait, no. I have holy water. That
+is not the same thing.
+
+MATT: “That’s all right. Don’t worry about it.
+That’s okay. If you come across some oil, I could use it.”
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MATT: “Rissa. I like your friends.” She’s like,
+“Thank you, Dad.”
+
+TRAVIS: You raised her good. She’s been taking
+good care of us.
+
+MATT: “Have you found work yet?” “No, Dad. I’m
+working on it.”
+
+TRAVIS: Awkward.
+
+SAM: She’s working for us.
+
+MATT: “Right, I’m working for them.”
+
+TALIESIN: At the moment.
+
+MATT: “Good, good. Proud of you.”
+
+MARISHA: Subcontractor work isn’t too bad of a
+living.
+
+MATT: “Oh, no. It’s still a living. That’s more
+than some folks in the Empire can say.”
+
+SAM: We need her Social Security Number for a 1099
+by the way.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: I believe she’s incorporated. She’s
+incorporated.
+
+SAM: Well, okay. Then we’re fine.
+
+MATT: Any good gnome is incorporated. I mean,
+that’s a cultural thing.
+
+LIAM: Fucking Hupperdook bureaucracy.
+
+MATT: 13th birthday they get their S Corp set up.
+It’s great.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Okay okay okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Cleff, we appreciate your time. We are
+going to venture out.
+
+MATT: “Of course. I expect nothing. I really
+appreciate you being so kind. Good luck.”
+
+TRAVIS: Our compliments on your work. It is truly
+spectacular.
+
+MATT: “Take care of my Rissania.” She’s like–
+
+ALL: Rissania!
+
+TRAVIS: There it is.
+
+TALIESIN: That was what I was hoping for, and it
+happened.
+
+MATT: You can see her shiver at the door and then
+just run out. “Goodbye! Take care!” (ping)
+
+Something shoots off. “Oh, damn it.” As you all
+leave and exit out, she’s out there fuming outside.
+
+SAM: He’s adorable.
+
+MATT: “He’s something. He’s certainly something.”
+
+MARISHA: As we leave, I grab the bolt that he shot
+into the wall over Caleb’s head.
+
+MATT: Okay. You pocketed a bolt.
+
+MARISHA, TALIESIN, and LIAM: Pocket a bolt.
+
+TRAVIS: So Lasagna, should we try and find our way
+over to the–
+
+LAURA: Steelbringer’s Forge?
+
+MATT: “Right. Come on, I’ll lead you over to where
+the boys are. You going to rough them up again?”
+
+LAURA: They’re only a couple blocks away?
+
+MATT: “Right. Just right around the corner. Come
+on, I’ll show you.”
+
+LAURA: Should I try casting it again?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Wait a minute.
+
+TALIESIN: Not yet.
+
+MARISHA: As we walk over there, I say: Hey,
+Rissa.
+
+MATT: “Aye.”
+
+MARISHA: You got a good dad. He really loves you.
+
+MATT: “I know. He’s just… he’s difficult at
+times. It’s hard to scrape under a family name
+
+"when it’s been through the ringer.”
+
+MARISHA: Sometimes family names aren’t all that
+they’re cracked up to be.
+
+MATT: She gives you a look over. “I agree.”
+
+MARISHA: What’s more important is that he really
+cares for you. Don’t take that for granted, all
+
+right? And I slap her on the back and keep
+walking.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, and the fact that you know him is
+really cool, too. Anyway.
+
+SAM: Wow, so many daddy issues.
+
+MARISHA: I was going to say, me and Jester hold
+hands and we skip off.
+
+MATT: You guys are led down past a few buildings
+and then around the corner, and while most of the
+
+heavy metalworks is done down below on the ground
+floor of the base of the mountain, the more
+
+refined metalworks are done up here on the Shelf.
+As you approach, you can already see the
+
+Steelbringer’s Forge, which has a number of
+shields and swords on display, armor bits, and you
+
+can see simple tools are crafted here. As you
+step, already looking into the main chamber door–
+
+which is open, because it’s so hot in there, they
+have to keep a breeze going through– there are
+
+two forges going at any given point in time. There
+are two anvils set up. You see a few gnomes at
+
+work and indeed, both Fitz and Ashton are both
+working as assistants. They’re not actually
+
+banging the hammer, but they’re both helping move
+things and quenching into the water and then
+
+helping gather materials and holding the metal and
+rotating it on the anvil as their bosses are
+
+hammering down. They don’t seem to notice your
+arrival.
+
+LAURA: I use Thaumaturgy to make it sound like
+whispers of Infernal all around them.
+
+MATT: (hammering)
+
+ALL: (speaking Infernal)
+
+MATT: “Hold back, boys!” There is one male gnome
+and one female dwarf that are both sitting there,
+
+grabbing their nearby warhammers, look around.
+They look over and see the shadows in the corner.
+
+“What beast brings their way into our workplace?
+Name yourself!”
+
+LAURA: Oh hi!
+
+MATT: They look at each other. The dwarf female
+goes (hammering) back to work. You see the two
+
+assistants look over and go– and put their heads
+down and keep focused on their work. The gnome
+
+says, “Just take a break. Hi, can we help you?”
+
+TALIESIN: We’re here to talk to those two.
+
+MATT: “What did you do?” He slaps with a cloth,
+and the assistant’s like, “Ah! I didn’t– gah!”
+
+“What did the boys do? What’d they do?”
+
+LAURA: They might have been party to a crime, we
+don’t know. We’re investigators.
+
+MATT: You can see across the way Ashton’s like,
+(gasps) and the dwarf goes, “Well then, best go
+
+"talk to them.” Gives them a little kick to the
+side, and they both take their hammers down. They
+
+take the metal off and put it back in the forge to
+heat, and they both rest and cross their arms and
+
+watch. The two boys look at each other and
+sheepishly step forward. “Hi, miss. What can we
+
+"do? What are you asking about?” “Yeah, what can we
+do?”
+
+MARISHA: We talk in here, or are we going to take
+them outside?
+
+MATT: Rissa goes, “I don’t know. Kind of like to
+do it in a place of business, that way we can keep
+
+"it above the board, you know?”
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed. I’m sure their employers are not
+fond of thieves in their midst.
+
+MARISHA: I look back at the boys and I say: Sit
+the fuck down.
+
+TRAVIS: Ooh, it’s on!
+
+MATT: They both grab nearby stools and sit down.
+
+MARISHA: Here’s the deal. This guy’s super fucking
+charming. He’s going to talk to you first. You
+
+don’t want to talk to me.
+
+SAM: She’s not charming.
+
+LAURA: At all.
+
+TALIESIN: In the least.
+
+MARISHA: Deal?
+
+MATT: “Deal.” “Deal.”
+
+MARISHA: My man Fjord is up!
+
+LIAM: I wave my hands a little bit and say, “I
+suggest you help this one find the things that we
+
+"are looking for,” and I cast Suggest.
+
+MATT: What’s the DC on that?
+
+LIAM: That is 16, wisdom.
+
+SAM: On one of them or both?
+
+LIAM: One of them.
+
+MATT: Which one, Ashton or Fitz?
+
+LIAM: Fitz.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, Fitz did seem like a prick, didn’t
+he?
+
+TALIESIN: I like that it was not even a question.
+
+MATT: Fitz looks at you and goes– and looks right
+to Fjord, the spell seemingly taking effect.
+
+MARISHA: I crack my knuckles, intimidate them a
+bit from behind.
+
+TRAVIS: Fitz, I understand that you might have
+felt a little slighted by last night’s encounter.
+
+MATT: “Oh, no, you know, I’m just–”
+
+TRAVIS: I didn’t say you could talk. What I want
+to know is, when you came back into the bar last
+
+night, did you see fit to rummage your way through
+some good, hard-working people’s coin purses?
+
+MATT: His eyes go wide. “No, not at all, no. What?
+I wouldn’t. I earn my money.”
+
+TRAVIS: How about your friend Ashton over there?
+
+MATT: Ashton looks back. “No, sir, we were just
+looking– we were just joshing, we were just
+
+"playing with Rissa, that was all!”
+
+MARISHA: I pull out my staff. Do a cool little
+flourish.
+
+TRAVIS: See, now we’re in a dangerous territory,
+because once that staff comes out, she’s got to
+
+hit something with it, and it’s not going to be
+me. Listen, Fitz. The best thing you can do here
+
+is wrack your brain real hard, and think: have
+you ever seen anyone around that establishment
+
+that might take advantage of some people enjoying
+some good imbibements?
+
+MATT: (whimpering)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, Fitz. Tick tock, tick tock.
+
+MATT: “I don’t know! Maybe, um–”
+
+MARISHA: I take a few steps forward.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh no.
+
+MATT: Make an intimidation check.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, Jesus. It’s not really my strong
+suit.
+
+TRAVIS: I know, it’s mine.
+
+MATT: I’ll let you both make one, because you’re
+doing it together.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s not too bad. 13?
+
+TRAVIS: 16.
+
+MATT: They both look at each other and like,
+(stuttering) “There are probably some people who
+
+"could’ve taken things. I don’t know. There are
+shady folk in there all the time! We don’t have
+
+"your money! I swear I didn’t do anything!”
+(sobbing)
+
+TRAVIS: We’re making kids cry. This is amazing.
+
+MATT: Ashton’s like, “Come on! Get it together!”
+and kicks him and is like, “We’re being completely
+
+"honest. We saw nothing, we took nothing. We were
+just getting our rocks off freaking people out,
+
+"and then we went back and got some drinks.”
+
+TRAVIS: You don’t know anyone else that has made a
+habit of doing this regularly, then?
+
+MATT: “Not personally, no. Most of them end up in
+the Gearhold.”
+
+SAM: Should I pour this vial of acid on them?
+
+MATT: (screaming)
+
+TRAVIS: You might get it ready, Nott. I feel like
+we’re not getting anywhere here.
+
+LAURA: You know where Ol’ Blemmy is from?
+
+MATT: They both look at each other. “Well,
+originally, he used to be an ice sailor up north,
+
+"by Ice Haven, but he retired ten years ago.”
+
+SAM: No! Now! Where does he live now?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know!”
+
+SAM: By the way, ice sailor sounds like the
+coolest job. What does that even mean?
+
+MATT: Ice sailor would be a person that forges the
+frozen depths up north.
+
+LAURA: Whoa!
+
+MATT: The people you see on The Deadliest Catch?
+It’s that kind of a job.
+
+SAM: Mixed with Ice Road Truckers?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+TRAVIS: Fitz, I’m going to talk to my colleague
+here. If you move, Beau is going to take your head
+
+off. Don’t. Move. (whispering) Okay, we got them
+right where we want them. Just fucking act like
+
+you don’t like what I’m saying. Look agitated.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Look more agitated, right now. More
+grimace. Give me nostrils. Nasolabial fold. Really
+
+work it. There it goes. (louder) All right. I
+talked to her, Fitz. Listen, she will stay her
+
+staff if, in the next 24 hours, you work your ass
+off and you find out who took our money.
+
+MATT: “Okay, okay.”
+
+MARISHA: God, my staff is just vibrating–
+
+TRAVIS: Easy, Beau. Remember what you said!
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know about this, Fjord!
+
+TRAVIS: This is not going to go well for you
+unless you can produce some results.
+
+MATT: He looks to Ashton. Ashton’s like, “Okay!
+(stuttering) No, we’ll ask around! We’ll do–
+
+"that’s okay! When the bosses– ” “You can look
+when you’re done with the forge. When the whistles
+
+"blow? Have at it.”
+
+LIAM: Fitz, I suggested that you do everything in
+your power to help my friend Fjord, and for the
+
+next eight hours, that is what you will do.
+
+MATT: Fitz is like, “I have to work! It’s my
+livelihood!”
+
+TRAVIS: Well, if you got to work, you got even
+less time. Better be motivated.
+
+MARISHA: You know, in this case, I would weigh
+between your livelihood and your life. Can’t have
+
+one without the other.
+
+LAURA: Oh no. You guys, you guys.
+
+SAM: What? What’s wrong?
+
+MATT: Their spirits are pretty crushed right now,
+and they’re both like–
+
+LAURA: They’re going to get fired.
+
+SAM: You feel bad?
+
+LAURA: I do.
+
+LIAM: How much do these young men make in a day
+here?
+
+MATT: They both look at each other. “On a good
+day? We give them about a gold for a day’s work.”
+
+LIAM: I want this one, particularly, working now.
+Why don’t we stake their salary for the day? We
+
+take care of that, double it even. We need these
+two. We pay for the loss of their work today?
+
+MATT: They nod. The gnome steps forward, takes the
+coin, if you present it.
+
+SAM: We don’t have any.
+
+LAURA: Oh god, guys!
+
+MATT: That’s four gold, so that’s three of them
+for the two gold. He goes, “Okay, you boys go get
+
+"your work done here and we’ll find some
+replacements, and you hope they aren’t better than
+
+"you are.” The boys are like, “Yes! Yes, sir!”
+“Yes, sir!”
+
+MARISHA: I crack my staff on the floor and I say:
+Get fucking moving, then!
+
+MATT: They get up and grab their stuff and then
+dart out into the street.
+
+TRAVIS: Excellent.
+
+SAM: Should I shoot them down while they run?
+
+TALIESIN: Not yet.
+
+MATT: The two forge workers–
+
+TALIESIN: Now.
+
+MATT: There’s a pause, like the two workers at the
+forge look at each other and look at you guys and
+
+go (laughs). “I’m not going to lie, those boys are
+going to be pissing their pants for a week after
+
+"that. That was enjoyable.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, might scare them straight.
+
+MATT: “I hope so. They need it. They’re a couple
+of pissants. Anyway, we’ve got to go find some
+
+"replacements, but thank you for helping out with
+the transition, at least.”
+
+TRAVIS: It’s our pleasure.
+
+TALIESIN: We hate to bother you, also, but we did
+actually get robbed, and if you have any idea
+
+where we should start looking to actually–
+
+SAM: Everyone. Everywhere.
+
+MATT: They both look at each other and be like,
+“Maybe ask down at the Assembly Yard? There’s a
+
+"bunch of weird folks that wander down there.”
+
+TALIESIN: I like weird folks.
+
+MATT: “Lifelong industrial hammer workers. Not a
+lot of craft and skill. Mind gets a bit addled.”
+
+TALIESIN: Bless you.
+
+LAURA: Thank you.
+
+MATT: “Of course. Anyway, we’ve got to go get back
+to work.”
+
+TRAVIS: We take our leave.
+
+MATT: You guys wander outside?
+
+SAM: On the way out, can I just ask that gentleman:
+Do you make any of those things that we’ve seen
+
+around here?
+
+TALIESIN: Scissors?
+
+LIAM: Octopi?
+
+SAM: (stammering) The pistols. Do you make those
+here?
+
+MATT: “Oh, no. We don’t specialize in firearms.
+Those are all regulated by the Empire. Those are
+
+"designed down in the Assembly Yard.”
+
+SAM: Oh. Thank you. Good day.
+
+MATT: Or that would be the Iron Lot is where that
+would be made.
+
+SAM: The Iron Lot.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, when we were in there, the shields and
+swords, they looked fairly standard, or were there
+
+some that were like “holy shit!”?
+
+MATT: No, they seemed pretty standard. I mean,
+well-made. Looks like a lot of places like this
+
+are in the process of developing weaponry, not
+just for home use, but probably sending it out for
+
+the field.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Rissa, how far are we from this
+Assembly Yard?
+
+MATT: She goes, “The Assembly Yard is down in the
+bottom half of the city, so it’s say about an
+
+"hour, hour and a half walk?”
+
+TRAVIS: And just out of curiosity, the Silver
+Falls, the residential area, how far is that?
+
+MATT: “Well, that’s that way, about 25 minutes to
+get to the actual Falls themselves, and you see
+
+"all the little towers over there, those are where
+all the homes are assembled in that place.”
+
+TRAVIS: Ol’ Blemmy’s over in the Silver Falls,
+that residential area. Do we want to go there, or–
+
+SAM: Our list of suspects is as follows!
+
+TRAVIS: (softly) Oh, shit.
+
+SAM: The pianist! Blemmy! Rissa! The girl!
+
+LAURA: The little girl that was asking for money.
+
+SAM: Fitz and Ashton! We’ve eliminated as possible
+suspects: Fitz and Ashton, really, they’re really
+
+lame. The pianist!
+
+LAURA: Why?
+
+SAM: Because you did Locate Object within his–
+
+LAURA: You’re right, that’s true, we did do that.
+
+SAM: Rissa! Because she was in Zone of Truth.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: That leaves our suspects Blemmy! And the
+girl.
+
+TRAVIS: But we have no leads on the girl, correct?
+No one saw her, knows her name–
+
+MARISHA: Blemmy might know the girl.
+
+LAURA: I saw her. But I did not ask her name.
+
+SAM: But! She has your copper pieces!
+
+LAURA: I gave her silver!
+
+TRAVIS: You did.
+
+SAM: You did! Could you find those specific
+silver pieces? Or the money she stole from us.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you bite your silver pieces before you
+put them in your coin purse?
+
+MARISHA: Did you lick it?
+
+LAURA: I don’t. But I do draw dicks on a lot of my
+money. But I don’t think I did it to those.
+
+TRAVIS: Like, little tiny dicks?
+
+LAURA: Well, I have really good paint, you know.
+
+SAM: So we go find Blemmy!
+
+TRAVIS: Silver Falls.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Silver Falls. That’s the residential area.
+Where the finger towers apartments are.
+
+TALIESIN: We can keep asking, has anyone had
+anything purchased–
+
+LAURA: That was a lot of money!
+
+TALIESIN: With dicks on it.
+
+LAURA: That, too. No, wait, because they didn’t
+steal my money.
+
+TRAVIS: If there was a way to ask about–
+
+LAURA: I have a whole pouch full of money, you
+guys, right here.
+
+TRAVIS: If you could ask about large purchases,
+that would be a good idea.
+
+LAURA: Big pouch.
+
+TRAVIS: Silver Falls?
+
+SAM: Silver Falls!
+
+SAM, MATT, and LAURA: (singing to tune of Silver
+Bells) Silver Falls…
+
+MATT: With Rissa guiding you guys back, you manage
+to make your way outside of the main Idle Shelf
+
+area and in towards the cluster of the Silver
+Falls. As you approach, you can see the beautiful,
+
+very wide waterfall that cascades down about a
+thousand feet, across the mountainside, until
+
+eventually it falls into this large lake, where
+you can see columns of steam are rising up. The
+
+closer you get, you begin to realize that there is an
+element of this lake, this waterfall, and some
+
+sort of a steam engine-type mechanism built into
+the surrounding rock that they use to fuel
+
+probably the furnaces and elements of the
+technology within this city. As you begin to hit
+
+the residential area, you can see these large,
+somewhat crooked-looking towers that themselves
+
+are maybe what would be the equivalent of 1500- to
+1000-square-foot apartments, but stacked four or
+
+five on top of each other, with spiraling stairs
+on the outside to go to each level. There aren’t a
+
+lot of folks currently at home, other than
+stay-at-home dads or moms that are watching
+
+children, some folks that are putting out laundry
+on lines that are connecting between multiple
+
+towers and are dangling up two or three stories
+above the street. But they’re all made of dark
+
+irons and blacker metals, so it gives the district
+this very weirdly– what’s the word I’m looking
+
+for? A whimsical Industrial Revolution feel. It’s
+a unique mixture.
+
+LAURA: Dr. Seuss meets–
+
+MATT: Kind of. Or a hint of Howl’s Moving Castle
+in places. There’s also that spray of the
+
+waterfall hitting the lake behind, which gives
+occasionally this light misting of water through
+
+the air. You can see faint bits of rainbow that
+come through where the mist hits the sunlight as
+
+it makes its way across the waterfall spray.
+
+LAURA: You said the waterfall goes up a thousand
+feet.
+
+MATT: Mm-hmm.
+
+LAURA: And the apartments don’t go as high as
+that.
+
+MATT: No, not at all.
+
+LAURA: So if I got in the middle of the area and
+cast Locate Object, it would do a really big
+
+radius. It would reach at least the top of the
+buildings.
+
+MATT: Oh yeah, very much so.
+
+SAM: Let’s go.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you make your way through, you’re
+not entirely sure where Ol’ Blemmy is, but you
+
+make your way towards where the middle, Rissa
+says, of the district is–
+
+TRAVIS: Keeping an eye out for old, craggly
+sailor-types.
+
+MATT: Sure. Make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Me? Yep.
+
+LAURA: Should I cast Locate Object while we’re
+walking around?
+
+LIAM: In a center spot?
+
+SAM: Will you be able to cast it again?
+
+TRAVIS: Eight.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. I mean, if I use up all my spells
+today as like, this kind of thing.
+
+SAM: Why did you–
+
+MATT: It’s a 2nd-level spell. Do you want to cast
+it again or not?
+
+LAURA: I can.
+
+SAM: Just while we stroll through the town?
+
+MARISHA: Through the residential district.
+
+SAM: Sure. I guess. What are you searching for?
+
+LAURA: The drinking coins, right?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, the tokens.
+
+MATT: The tokens?
+
+MARISHA: I think it’s the best way to go.
+
+LAURA: Cast spell.
+
+MATT: Okay, you cast Locate Object. You
+concentrate and focus, extending your
+
+consciousness, focusing on one of these wooden
+tokens, the one that was won by one of the members
+
+of your party. (pop) You get a blip behind you.
+Not quite in the district, but right where the
+
+Idleworks Shelf transitions into the residential
+area on the Idleworks Shelf. You get (boop).
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Ah! I turn around and start running
+towards it.
+
+SAM: Follow her! She’s a bloodhound!
+
+TRAVIS: Throwing up while we do it.
+
+MATT: You guys dart after Jester, making your way
+down the road, running, (panting). You’re closing
+
+the distance. You weave through a couple
+buildings. You’re out of the residential part of
+
+the district again and you’re back into the Idle
+Shelf, but on the very back end of it. There’s
+
+warehouses and there’s small buildings, and
+eventually, you come to the destination and it
+
+looks like it’s a small building. There’s a sign
+out front that just says, “Butcher.” And it’s
+
+boarded up.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. That motherfucker had leather apron
+with shitty-ass sleeves.
+
+MARISHA: He totally fucking did.
+
+SAM: Was it Blemmy?
+
+MARISHA: No, it was the guy with the nasty fucking
+beard.
+
+SAM: They all had nasty beards. Duncan, Valkin,
+Ruth, and Tanya.
+
+LAURA: It was Duncan!
+
+MARISHA: Duncan! That was his name! Right, the guy
+that you drank across?
+
+LIAM: We should probably keep our voices down in
+the street–
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s turn it down.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, was Duncan the nerdy guy?
+
+SAM: The first guy was Duncan. Valkin was the next
+guy.
+
+LAURA: Valkin was the guy that fought Caleb. Okay,
+let’s go. Should we just go in?
+
+TRAVIS: No. Who’s going to guard the back?
+
+SAM: Oh, we’re going to circle around?
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck yeah! If she’s getting a beacon.
+
+MATT: You see Kiri pulls out her knife and goes,
+(like Jester) “I can send a message.”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh no. No, Kiri, this is where we’re
+stealthy, all right? Knife goes away. Shh. Nice.
+
+MATT: (like Fjord) “Shh. Nice”
+
+LIAM: Do we want to send Nott or a cat in?
+
+MARISHA: Is there a roof to this thing?
+
+MATT: There is a roof, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Two story? One story?
+
+MATT: It’s one story. It’s not a huge building.
+It’s maybe three rooms?
+
+MARISHA: I parkour on the roof.
+
+MATT: Make an acrobatics check.
+
+SAM: No, wait. Can we surround it first? Jesus.
+
+MATT: She’s already up.
+
+TRAVIS: She hops up there, I run around the back.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: We surround the building.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to stay in the front.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh! 25.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys surround it. (landing
+footfalls)
+
+MARISHA: Are there any chimneys? Soft spots in the
+floor? Skylights?
+
+MATT: There isn’t a skylight, per se, but you do
+see there is a little smokestack that’s about
+
+three feet wide or so. Two and a half feet wide.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to peek in. Can I see down?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: (fake coughs) Okay. 14.
+
+MATT: 14. Glancing inside, it’s dark, except for
+you can see the little beams of sunlight that are
+
+coming through the slats of wood on the roof.
+
+MARISHA: Goggles.
+
+MATT: Glancing inside, looking through, you can
+see four figures in there that are currently not
+
+moving and they’re all clustered together in the
+far corner.
+
+MARISHA: What do they look like?
+
+MATT: They look gnome in size.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. They’re just huddled together, you
+said?
+
+MATT: They’re huddled together, and they’re not
+moving.
+
+SAM: I will take out my wire and–
+
+MATT: You look and they’re starting to look
+around, like they might have heard a noise.
+
+SAM: I whisper to Beau using Message, “What do you
+see? You can reply to this message.”
+
+MARISHA: (whispers) Four individuals. Huddled
+around. They’re either the assholes or hostages,
+
+it’s hard to say.
+
+LAURA: (whispers) Should we all go in at the same
+time? Oh you can’t hear me; we’re not Messaging
+
+together.
+
+SAM: No.
+
+LAURA: (whispers) I’m just talking to myself.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, I’m going to–
+
+SAM: We don’t know what you’re doing.
+
+TRAVIS: Is there a door or a window on the back at
+all, or is it just like–?
+
+MATT: No, there’s a door in the front, and a door
+at the back. The door in the front is like a
+
+sectional door, a top and a bottom, looks like it
+can be opened separately to sell out or wants to
+
+bring and sell meat over that side. The back is
+just a general door; it looks almost like a
+
+storage space or a back entry to it.
+
+TRAVIS: Outstanding.
+
+LIAM: No open windows?
+
+SAM: Should we draw them out?
+
+MATT: There are windows, but they’re boarded
+over.
+
+SAM: We’re just going to bust in? What if they
+have traps and bombs?
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to very gingerly lean over the
+edge of the roof where Fjord is. I’m going to say:
+
+(whispers) On the boom!
+
+TRAVIS: (whispers) Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to go back over to the chimney
+very gingerly, pull out one of the firecrackers,
+
+one of the bottle rockets, light it with the
+tinderbox, and drop it in.
+
+TRAVIS: Awesome!
+
+MARISHA: Is the chimney wide enough for me to fit
+in? Santa Claus-style?
+
+MATT: You can try, yeah. You can certainly try.
+
+LIAM: There was a back door, too?
+
+TRAVIS: Front door, back door.
+
+LAURA: He’s at the back door.
+
+MARISHA: You guys are at the front.
+
+MATT: (loud popping) It goes off. On the inside is
+a flash of light. You hear screams.
+
+LAURA: We’re going in!
+
+MATT: You guys all burst inside. As you break
+through the doors, wood splinters on the inside,
+
+light breaks in, and in the corner you can see
+what looks to be four gnomish children.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck!
+
+MATT: Two of them teenage, two of them younger,
+all scared out of their minds. The teenagers are
+
+trying to protect the two younger ones. You can
+see a pile of gold around them on the ground.
+
+They’re just like (panting).
+
+LAURA: You took the money! It was the little
+girl!
+
+TRAVIS: Easy. Easy. Easy. We’re not going to hurt
+you.
+
+SAM: I will kill them all!
+
+TRAVIS: No, Nott! It’s fine. You’re not in any
+danger.
+
+MATT: There is a gnome girl, the equivalent of
+like 17 or so with very brown, curled hair, it’s
+
+this uncontrolled mass, dirty on the cheek. A
+younger boy with short red hair is the other
+
+protector of the two. Their clothes are pretty
+dirty. Then there’s the younger girl that you saw
+
+wandering through the tavern, who’s on the ground
+clutching a stuffed bear.
+
+LAURA: Didn’t I say it right away? I said it right
+away!
+
+MATT: You see a boy that’s a little older than
+her, about nine you would say, equivalent, with
+
+very long, brown hair that’s around the shoulders,
+and they all just look scared.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott Detective Agency always gets their
+man! It’s all right.
+
+LAURA: Hey. I know you, I saw you. Right? I gave
+you some money?
+
+MARISHA: (coughs)
+
+MATT: She’s not talking.
+
+LAURA: You. Stole. From. Our. Friends. Not. Cool.
+
+SAM: You went down a chimney.
+
+LIAM: It’s not in character.
+
+MARISHA: (coughing) Sorry, wrong pipe. Keep
+going.
+
+LAURA: I totally thought you were just doing the
+“went down the chimney.”
+
+MARISHA: (coughing) As I cough my way down the
+chimney, “I’m coming!”
+
+MATT: You look up as she comes out the bottom in a
+big old plume of soot. Just covered.
+
+MARISHA: I’m a little late and I look at the girl
+and I say: It was you!
+
+TRAVIS: No, Beau, we’re already winning.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry.
+
+MATT: The older girl, “Look, we don’t mean
+nothing, we’re just trying to get by, okay? We
+
+"didn’t realize how much you had on you, and to be
+honest, it was both exciting and scary. Just don’t
+
+"hurt anyone, please.”
+
+LAURA: We’re not going to hurt you. Just give it
+all back.
+
+MATT: “Take it.”
+
+LIAM: No parents at all?
+
+MATT: The girl looks sad for a moment, saying,
+“Not for a little while.”
+
+LIAM: How much have you hoarded up here? Just us,
+or more?
+
+MATT: “We’ve scrambled coins here and there over
+time, keep on by. Most everyone here only keeps a
+
+"few coins in their pockets. Hence our surprise
+when this came about.” The younger boy goes like,
+
+“Yeah, we don’t expect this kind of a payload.”
+
+TRAVIS: How old are you?
+
+MATT: The older girl goes, “I’m Gail. I’m 17.”
+
+LAURA: Gail!
+
+MATT: The older boy goes, “I’m Austin.” The little
+boy with longer curly hair goes, “I’m Jude.” The
+
+older girl points to the little girl and goes,
+“That’s Layla.”
+
+TRAVIS: You said you haven’t had your parents
+around for a while now? What happened to them?
+
+MATT: They all look at each other, and the older
+boy sits forward and goes, “Well, they got
+
+"arrested.”
+
+TRAVIS: Doing what?
+
+MATT: “Got arrested for idol worship. False
+worship.”
+
+TRAVIS: Here? In Hupperdook?
+
+SAM: What god were they worshiping?
+
+LAURA: Was it the Traveler?
+
+MATT: “No. Changebringer.”
+
+TRAVIS: The Changebringer?
+
+MATT: “Avandra. It’s been in the family for a long
+time. Every six months, the tithe collectors come
+
+"through, and they noticed they’d forgotten to put
+away their idol worship. They locked them up.
+
+"They’ve been in the Gearhold ever since.”
+
+TRAVIS: Tithe collectors?
+
+MATT: You know about those. Those of you who’ve
+been in the Empire, part of living in the Empire
+
+is about every six months or so, there’s a tax
+man, a tithe collector that goes through, usually
+
+with a couple crownsguard. You recognize them by
+black cloak with gold trim, usually dark clothing.
+
+They go building to building, business to
+business, inspect ledgers, ask about their
+
+business, look at the means in which they’re
+living, and then make an estimation of what they
+
+owe. They then collect the money and move on their
+way. But you know this from your studies, this is
+
+also used as a means of inspecting for any illegal
+activity and anything that goes against the Crown.
+
+Often a lot of people get arrested for that.
+
+TRAVIS: You all brothers and sisters?
+
+MATT: “We are.”
+
+TRAVIS: And your parents’ names?
+
+MATT: “Gilda and Wallace Schuster. We’re
+Schusters.”
+
+TALIESIN: How long have you been pickpocketing,
+then?
+
+MATT: “Only about three months.”
+
+TALIESIN: Mostly success at this point?
+
+MATT: “So far, so good. Most people don’t seem to
+pay much attention to the younger kids.”
+
+TALIESIN: Well, this is good. This is a very
+valuable lesson. If you ever come across a purse
+
+like this again, you just take a tiny bit of it,
+and then leave the rest.
+
+MATT: “We just grab it and run, we didn’t know how
+much was here until we got back.”
+
+TALIESIN: Well then, you just bring it back
+immediately. Obviously you take five percent.
+
+MATT: “Right, no, I understand.” Gail says, “We
+understand, sir! We’ve learned our lesson!”
+
+MARISHA: Look, because you were so good at your
+job, keep this. I hand him 20 gold. Look, I
+
+appreciate good work when I see it, all right? You
+got our shit. That was pretty damn good.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+TRAVIS: Gail, you been taking care of your younger
+siblings this whole time?
+
+MATT: “I’ve been trying, best we can. Our parents
+worked as butchers, so we had some food to keep us
+
+"going for a while, but when stuff got thin and
+begging wasn’t working out, we, you know, did what
+
+"was necessary. And I’ll do what it takes to make
+sure my siblings stay healthy.”
+
+TRAVIS: You been holed up here, or you on the
+move?
+
+MATT: “We’ve held up here. This is where we grew
+up.”
+
+TRAVIS: How long before the tithe man comes back?
+
+MATT: “Anytime now, really. It’s been six months.
+But we ain’t much of a business at this time.”
+
+MARISHA: Is there anywhere they take kids? Kids
+separated from their parents? Or do they just not care?
+
+MATT: “I hear stories, they round them up and
+throw them to Rexxentrum in orphanages, and we
+
+"don’t want to go there.”
+
+MARISHA: So you’re just avoiding them.
+
+TRAVIS: Gilda and Wallace. Let me ask you, if we
+were to somehow get your parents out of the
+
+Gearhold prison, would you stay here?
+
+MATT: (nervous chuckle) “How would you intend on
+getting my parents out of the prison?”
+
+TRAVIS: I’m the one asking questions here.
+
+MATT: “I mean, legally? We’d probably stay here
+and reopen the shop.”
+
+TRAVIS: You don’t seem to be taking my meaning. If
+we were to reunite you with your folks, would you
+
+get out of town right quick?
+
+MATT: “If it were by means where people would come
+looking for us, we would definitely be heading
+
+"somewhere other than here.”
+
+TRAVIS: Give us a moment, will you?
+
+MATT: “All right.”
+
+TALIESIN: How soft are you getting?
+
+SAM: It’s very clear. We have Kiri already. We
+take these four children with us, and we keep going.
+
+MARISHA: And we start a children’s band.
+
+TRAVIS: The Partridge Family.
+
+MARISHA: Yes, exactly!
+
+LAURA: We can teach them the dances that we have
+been learning, and working on!
+
+TALIESIN: If I’ve learned anything, you don’t work
+with animals or children, and we’re rapidly
+
+getting both!
+
+MATT: Hey man, attach them all by chains to your
+armor, and you guys are the new Dread Emperor!
+
+LIAM: Throwback!
+
+TRAVIS: Keyleth! No, but seriously. Listen,
+they’ve obviously done a fair job of
+
+taking care of themselves. We could toss them some
+coin and wish them well.
+
+TALIESIN: I see no problem with that.
+
+TRAVIS: Or, if we’re serious about returning Cleff
+with his (tongue click), might as well see if we
+
+can get a little extra friend or two out.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s make no promises, but again–
+
+TRAVIS: No promises, but man, if we have an
+opportunity to reunite these kids with their
+
+parents, that’s a pretty special deed, don’t you
+think?
+
+TALIESIN: You are so soft!
+
+LAURA: Can I ask a shitty question?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, please!
+
+LAURA: If we take the time right now to break
+their parents out and get that automaton, are we
+
+going to lose time on the thing for The Gentleman?
+
+LIAM: Yes, we are.
+
+TRAVIS: Man, I entirely forgot.
+
+SAM: But we still have weeks left, don’t we?
+
+MARISHA: But it’s still another three or four
+days.
+
+SAM: You have a means of contacting The Gentleman.
+You could ask for a three-day extension.
+
+TALIESIN: I tend to find these sorts of jobs,
+asking for a three-day extension does not go well.
+
+You’re given the time, you do the job, you finish
+it, you don’t ask questions, you don’t ask for special–
+
+LIAM: Haven’t you been working for the circus for
+two years?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s what I’m talking about. When
+you’re in a circus, sometimes you get paid to do
+
+gigs. Things have happened. I’ve run a couple
+things in my time.
+
+LAURA: Insight check.
+
+MATT: Insight check?
+
+TRAVIS: I think it’s, “Do I believe him?” right?
+
+MATT: Yes. Do I believe him?
+
+MARISHA: But insight check has become such a
+thing!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m into it.
+
+MATT: Frustratingly so, yes!
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: But the DM hates it!
+
+MATT: I find it amusing.
+
+LAURA: Sorry. Do I think he’s lying?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re a circus! Of course we’ve robbed
+people! My god, we have robbed, swindled, we’ve
+
+been robbed, we’ve gone back and found the people
+who’ve robbed them, sometimes we don’t! Oh my god, yes.
+
+LIAM: Does that mean that your cards are bullshit?
+
+MARISHA: Of course they’re bullshit, they’re
+fucking cards.
+
+LAURA: No they’re not, they’re super true!
+
+LIAM: I am asking Mollymauk.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re asking if my cards are bullshit?
+My cards are not bullshit.
+
+LIAM: I want to say “insight check” so bad, but I
+won’t say it!
+
+TALIESIN: I know you do! But you won’t say it.
+
+SAM: Caleb, you have a photographic memory, as you
+remind us every session. How long do we have until
+
+our time is up with The Gentleman?
+
+LIAM: DM will fill that information in.
+
+MATT: Let’s see, we had about three days traveling
+there. Since you left, you have about two and a
+
+half weeks, I’ll say, estimated at the moment.
+
+SAM: How long would it take, do we think, to get up
+north there, if we went straight? A week?
+
+MARISHA: From Hupperdook?
+
+MATT: I would say, off the top of my head, a
+little under a week.
+
+SAM: So we’ve got a couple weeks! We have a day
+or two to spend on some prison breaking.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve got a day or two to spend on this,
+but not a week.
+
+MARISHA: Hang on. This thing has been a problem
+for years, the clockwork warden? Why don’t we just
+
+go, finish our stuff, we have to cross back
+through here, anyway.
+
+LAURA: And come back?
+
+MARISHA: And come back and finish the job.
+
+LIAM: We already have a job.
+
+SAM: Beauregard, don’t you think they should be
+reunited with their father who loves them very
+
+much, and wants to be with them?
+
+MARISHA: Of course I do. They’ve been scrappy for
+long enough. They can be scrappy for another week
+
+or two.
+
+LAURA: They don’t even have to be that scrappy
+now.
+
+TRAVIS: They said the tithe man could return any
+day.
+
+SAM: And take them to an orphanage.
+
+TRAVIS: What if we come back and they’re gone?
+
+SAM: It would be horrible if they were taken away
+from their home and given to some people who would
+
+do horrible things to them, or mistreat them for
+their whole childhoods, leaving them as cold,
+
+heartless, resting bitches.
+
+TALIESIN: Didn’t you almost open fire on these
+children not more than 30 seconds ago?
+
+SAM: That was an intimidation tactic. I would
+never hurt a child!
+
+TALIESIN: Of course you would!
+
+SAM: No, I wouldn’t! I love children.
+
+TRAVIS: You’d eat a child.
+
+SAM: That was an accident!
+
+TRAVIS: I knew I saw you drooling!
+
+TALIESIN: This is why I don’t miss the circus.
+
+LAURA: Okay. What are we doing?
+
+LIAM: It depends on how altruistic this group is.
+We already have a job. I mean, I will defer to the
+
+group, but we have a job and we are on a time
+table.
+
+TRAVIS: I would really like the opportunity to
+leave this place better than we found it,
+
+especially for these kids.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m not saying no, I’m just saying
+remember that we are hired hands.
+
+TRAVIS: I understand. If it goes sideways, it goes
+sideways, and we run. But if we can keep them out
+
+of an orphanage, I would be most grateful to all
+of you.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve done dumber shit.
+
+LAURA: All right.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, Nott’s over here trying to pull
+my heart strings, but it seems like you should be
+
+the target. You have a thing with kids and
+orphanages?
+
+SAM: Were you an orphan?
+
+MARISHA: Separated from dad?
+
+TALIESIN: Have you ever eaten an orphan?
+
+LIAM: Ja, so much for sticking to the plan.
+
+SAM: Were you an orphan?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes. I was. They’re terrible fucking
+places.
+
+SAM: Sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: Say no more. I’m in.
+
+MARISHA: You know, I’m interested if there’s a
+master lever to this prison. Just prison break,
+
+see what happens.
+
+TALIESIN: That sounds like a terrible idea.
+
+LAURA: Maybe we can negotiate our way into the
+prison and say we’ll take care of the automaton,
+
+and while we’re in there, we can sneak around and
+set the parents free.
+
+MARISHA: All right, if we do this, I think we need
+to give ourselves a hard time limit that we all
+
+stick to, because the last thing that I want is
+for the fucking Gentlemen with his vials of our
+
+DNA coming after our asses.
+
+TRAVIS: Agreed.
+
+LAURA: As long as we give him some notice, I think
+it will be okay.
+
+MARISHA: I have a feeling The Gentleman isn’t a
+guy that negotiates on time periods.
+
+TRAVIS: The effort is all I ask for. We’re a
+clever group. Surely we can survey, come up with a
+
+plan, try something. If we fail, we fail, and
+we’ll move on with our objective. I can’t leave
+
+here without trying.
+
+LIAM: I would like it to be predicated on us
+coming up with at least a respectable plan, not
+
+willy-nilly, fly in with our balls out.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m also in it for a crossbow.
+
+MARISHA: I guess it doesn’t hurt to ask The
+Gentleman, if worst comes to worst.
+
+TALIESIN: Just remember, you either get the
+nickname “The Gentleman” because you are one, or
+
+because you’re really not.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, good point.
+
+TRAVIS: How about we bring the kids back in, we
+give them a little coin so they stay out of
+
+trouble, for the next–
+
+MARISHA: They have 30 gold on them.
+
+LAURA: They got a lot of gold on them.
+
+LIAM: That’s a lot of money.
+
+TRAVIS: We tell them to stay put, unless they’re
+getting food.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m gonna give them– nope, never mind.
+I’m not going to give them that, because that
+
+would be a terrible idea.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, how long does your string theory
+work?
+
+LIAM: String theory?
+
+SAM: Eight hours, right?
+
+LIAM: Eight hours, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: What time is it?
+
+MATT: At this point, it’s probably pushing one or
+two in the afternoon.
+
+LIAM: Do we have any food we can leave for them,
+so they don’t have to–?
+
+SAM: I have some human jerky left over.
+
+LAURA: I did pocket some of the breakfast from
+this morning.
+
+MATT: You did, yeah. Do you give that to them?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: The kids hungrily accept, and devour, evenly
+dividing amongst them. They feed the younger kids
+
+first and then whatever is left over, the older
+ones take. They say, “Thank you, I really
+
+"appreciate that.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got a good idea. I’m going to give
+the older one one of my rings. I’ve got these
+
+strange little rings that I left over. Keep that
+on you, sell it if you have to, but see if you can
+
+hold off for a while. If things go wrong, get
+within 1,000 feet of the Blushing Tavern, hide and
+
+wait, and we’ll find you.
+
+MATT: “All right.”
+
+TALIESIN: Hide.
+
+MATT: “We’ll keep that in mind, thank you. Thank
+you kindly.” Is it a ring finger, a finger ring?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a finger ring.
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: It’s a fingering?
+
+TALIESIN: It was one of the rings that we found in
+the cave.
+
+MATT: He puts it over his thumb. For his body and
+size, it goes over his thumb. It’s still a little
+
+loose, but it’ll stay. “Thank you. I don’t know
+how we’ll repay you, but–”
+
+LAURA: Question: what are we going to do with Kiri
+right now, if we’re going down into the jail?
+
+LIAM: I think she has a sleepover–
+
+TRAVIS: With the girl we found, right?
+
+MARISHA: And Yasha?
+
+LAURA: Or with these fabulous kids right now? No,
+Yasha needs to come with us. We need her help.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s true.
+
+MATT: Yeah, Yasha’s like, “No, if we’re going into
+a prison to kill something, I want to be there.”
+
+MARISHA: That’s true. Sorry. Forgot what time it
+was!
+
+SAM: Well, we know how much the prostitutes cost
+to watch Kiri.
+
+TALIESIN: She said it.
+
+TRAVIS: Or we could drop Kiri off with the little
+girl that–
+
+LAURA: Or Kiri can stay here with these wonderful
+children.
+
+LIAM: They are very capable children.
+
+MATT: Kiri goes, (like Nott) “That sounds
+adorable!”
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Do you want to stay with them?!
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Okay!”
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh.
+
+SAM: The children do owe us a little bit.
+
+LAURA: Children, oh, Schusters.
+
+SAM: Oh Schusters!
+
+LAURA: Do you guys want to watch our little friend
+here as well?
+
+MATT: (chirping) The little girl walks up and
+touches the feathers, and you see the feathers of
+
+Kiri’s head (rustling) and her eyes close for a
+second as she’s scratching the side of her head.
+
+LAURA: She’s like you, though, so she’s not like a
+pet or anything. She’s a real little girl, okay?
+
+MARISHA: Hey Kiri, show them your music box.
+
+MATT: (cranking) (music box chiming) It starts
+playing, and the little girl leans in and they all
+
+close in quickly. For a moment, you can see this
+little unit of kids meeting a new friend, and a
+
+friend meeting new kids. You’re like, okay, they
+might be okay for a little bit.
+
+TRAVIS: You take care of each other. You’re a
+little temporary family for now.
+
+MARISHA: He’s going to make some protection.
+
+LIAM: Kinder, this is a thread I am going to put
+around the chamber that you are living in, and I
+
+will know if our little feathered friend or you
+all leave. You’re perfectly welcome to. I’m just
+
+letting you know that I will know, ja? Okay.
+
+MATT: They all nod to you. Kiri looks to Fjord and
+(dagger unsheathing).
+
+LAURA: (whispers) Don’t stab any of the other
+kids, okay?
+
+MATT: (whispers) (like Jester) “Okay.”
+
+TRAVIS: Remember, stay quiet.
+
+MATT: (like Fjord) “Stay quiet.”
+
+TALIESIN: Oh! So weird!
+
+MATT: Leaving the kids there, you all quietly exit
+the building, reaffirming the doors you had kicked in.
+
+SAM: Oh yeah! Going to lean those up against the
+door jamb.
+
+LAURA: Oh! I cast Mending on the doors!
+
+MATT: There you go! You manage to get the doors
+back into a sizeable place and begin to discuss how
+
+you’re going to tackle this next endeavor. And
+that���s where we’ll finish this week’s episode.
+
+We’ll pick up next week.
+
+MARISHA: Such a good game!
+
+MATT: Well done, guys!
+
+MARISHA: That was funsies.
+
+MATT: We’ll see if–
+
+LAURA: Hey, we got the money back!
+
+MARISHA: We got the money back!
+
+MATT: See if you can earn your Tinkertop
+Boltblaster 1000.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god!
+
+TRAVIS: Could have just gone back and bought it,
+but no, we want to go the expert level!
+
+MARISHA: Yo, you can buy it or you can collect all
+48 pinecones and then you just unlock it. It’s
+
+like that.
+
+MATT: Hey man! Good game, guys! Awesome!
+
+LAURA: We should definitely rest before the next
+part because I just used up all my 2nd-level spells.
+
+SAM: We’ll do recon for the afternoon and then
+we’ll attack tomorrow morning.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, plan.
+
+SAM: Unless this guy comes in the next week!
+
+LAURA: Hey!
+
+SAM: If that happens!
+
+MATT: Oh my goodness.
+
+MARISHA: (bass guitar melody)
+
+MATT: My God! And on that note! Have a wonderful
+week, guys. We’ll see you next Thursday for the
+
+next stage of this crazy adventure. Remember, we
+love you, and is it Thursday yet? Good night.
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
+Dungeons & Dragons. And Sam makes noise from his
+
+phone over there. Strangely.
+
+SAM: I can’t turn it off! It won’t stop!
+
+MATT: So a couple things. One, you’ll notice that
+we’re down two players tonight. That’s because
+
+apparently some babies can’t wait! So there is
+currently a new addition to the Critical Role team
+
+right now–
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: More information will be made available as
+the parents see fit. I’m glad that I worked
+
+towards a narrative exit for them that they
+couldn’t be there for. So anyway–
+
+ASHLEY: We love you, Travis and Laura!
+
+MATT: Super excited. We love you guys so much,
+seriously.
+
+MARISHA: We love you!
+
+MATT: You’re amazing, and we look forward to
+meeting the new one very soon.
+
+MARISHA: I love that you can’t emote.
+
+SAM: I can’t smile.
+
+TALIESIN: Just saying, they could’ve held the baby
+five more hours. I feel like they could’ve done it.
+
+MATT: I’m just saying, then we could’ve shared a
+birthday.
+
+LIAM: It is the best day! So much is going on. My
+nephew is here, so many things are happening
+
+behind the scenes. It is the best day!
+
+MARISHA: It’s crazy.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re so tired and it’s great.
+
+MATT: So anyway, let’s get through our
+announcements real fast. First and foremost, a big
+
+thank you to our returning fantastic sponsors of
+this campaign, D&D Beyond! Sam, if you don’t mind.
+
+SAM: Guys, I didn’t know this. The D&D Beyond
+discount code, 826LA, is still active for the 25%
+
+off the legendary bundle. I did not know that. It
+will be expiring soon, so please make sure to
+
+check out the legendary bundle on the D&D Beyond
+marketplace. Also, the site will be undergoing
+
+some maintenance tomorrow, Friday morning, starting
+at 7:00am Pacific for a few hours. The site will
+
+be in read-only mode at this time. So, I don’t
+know what that means. Also, the product director
+
+Adam Bradford will be hosting a stream at 9:00am
+Pacific during maintenance with some exciting
+
+announcements! Be sure to tune in to
+twitch.tv/dndbeyond (not and) to check it all out.
+
+And just for my little extra here tonight, not
+getting lost in the fact that Travis and Laura are
+
+having the most magical day of their lives and
+Liam is gone, I wanted to pay special tribute to
+
+our little Ashley who’s leaving us for a while. I
+feel like she should get some love too on her way
+
+out the door. I composed a song for you in the
+style of your favorite band, Boyz II Men.
+
+ASHLEY: Ah, yes!
+
+TALIESIN: How did you know?
+
+SAM: (singing) How do I say goodbye… shit. To
+our sweet, innocent harbinger of death fallen
+
+angel? On NBC you play a geek, but you’re a real
+one here with us every week. If we get to visit
+
+Xhorhas, I hope Blindspot will let you play. But
+until then, I hope Patterson dies every day!
+
+ASHLEY: Yay!
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam.
+
+SAM: That’s hard to do in a mustache.
+
+ASHLEY: I can see the–
+
+MARISHA: Are you committing to this all night?
+
+SAM: This is what I did the first time through the
+campaign, so that’s what I gotta do this time!
+
+MARISHA: Holy shit. I thought this was for your
+opening gag.
+
+ASHLEY: Me too!
+
+SAM: This is what I wore this time in the first
+campaign.
+
+MARISHA: I remember!
+
+LIAM: So on this show where Ashley is about to
+leave, baby Baileyham has just been born, I’m in
+
+the woods, and we’re about to move, you decided to
+wear that for the entire episode?
+
+SAM: I did not decide. This was put upon me by the
+fates.
+
+MARISHA: You made that, though!
+
+SAM: Yeah. I can’t un-make it.
+
+MATT: Yep, it is a thing. Congratulations.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s been a while, is the monkey Smokey
+or the Bandit? I can never remember.
+
+SAM: Oh, the monkey’s here, right? Okay, good.
+
+LIAM: As long as that is on your face, you will
+get no sugar from me, Sam Riegel.
+
+MATT: No. Well, thank you very much, D&D Beyond.
+Thank you, Sam. A couple other announcements:
+
+because we’re doing this move, there will not a
+Critical Role or Talks Machina next week. So we’ll
+
+be missing you guys that week. We’ll see you on
+social media and stuff and having chats to keep us
+
+all through our withdrawal that we’ll be
+suffering, and some of you I’m sure will as well.
+
+But we’ll be back the week after that, the second
+week of July we’ll be picking up with the Talks
+
+Machina of tonight’s episode, then hosted by our
+fantastic Brian W. Foster. Then the following
+
+Thursday, the following episode, in which we will
+have a guest, maybe two, joining us.
+
+SAM: Oh, what? Okay. Will one of them be a baby?
+
+MATT: No. I’m not that good at teaching this game.
+I think language is an important barrier in
+
+teaching D&D.
+
+SAM: You’re pretty good, though.
+
+MATT: Anyway, just so you guys are aware. Also,
+for those who haven’t seen on social media,
+
+welcome, we just launched a Kickstarter with our
+good friends at Steamforged Games.
+
+MARISHA: Holy shit, that’s right, that’s also
+going on! Every day feels like a year.
+
+MATT: So if you guys don’t know, we launched a
+Kickstarter, it’s a short-form Kickstarter for our
+
+line of Vox Machina and Mighty Nein miniatures.
+For those who aren’t aware or familiar, we have an
+
+entire line of highly detailed, super high quality
+plastic minis of all of Vox Machina including
+
+Trinket, and all of Mighty Nein. There are
+stretch– I was going to say stretch goals.
+
+There are Kickstarter exclusive rewards that
+include Pumat Prime for The Mighty Nein, and his
+
+three simulacrum! As well as a fantastic Taryon
+Darrington and Doty for the Vox Machina side. Go
+
+ahead and check it out, it’s going to be up there
+for another week or so, I believe. If you can’t
+
+afford it right now, you can even put a dollar in
+there and we’ll have opportunities down the road
+
+hopefully for you to jump in if you missed it the
+first round. But when it comes down to it, you get
+
+eight minis for Vox Machina, you get the Mighty
+Nein minis as well, another eight minis, with
+
+Shakäste involved in there. All the Pumats as
+well, and the extra bonus features of Tary and
+
+Doty, all for $60. Which is a pretty fantastic
+package for the quality of these and for the
+
+collectable aspect of it. If you like it, help
+make it happen more! It’s already exploded, it’s nuts.
+
+MARISHA: The boxes are looking so cool.
+
+MATT: I haven’t seen the boxes yet.
+
+MARISHA: I probably shouldn’t spoil that, but it’s
+pretty cool.
+
+MATT: I should see that. We’re super excited about
+it. You guys have already blown it out of the
+
+water. If you haven’t had the opportunity, now’s
+the time to jump in and I hope you enjoy them. So
+
+I believe that’s all the rest of the announcements
+we have.
+
+MARISHA: I’m so emotional.
+
+MATT: So let’s bring it in to tonight’s episode of
+Critical Role!
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: And welcome back.
+
+TALIESIN: That was a good one.
+
+MATT: That was great. So last we left off: The
+Mighty Nein, in making their way northward towards
+
+their eventual goal of Shadycreek Run to complete
+their second mission that they accepted from The
+
+Gentleman in Zadash, have been traversing the
+countryside and made their way to the city of
+
+Hupperdook, the largely gnomish cultural city
+there of industry and currently construction of
+
+war machines to send towards the conflict with
+Xhorhas to the east. There you saw the very hardy
+
+work atmosphere of the gnomes, and then the
+evening very crazy party atmosphere in which many
+
+of you dove into a hard drinking contest. You won
+the title of the Blushing Tankard Tavern, beating
+
+out their old champions, and woke up with terrible
+hangovers, and realizing that most of your gold
+
+had been stolen. Upon doing some sleuthing around
+the town, you had bullied a couple of bullies that
+
+were pushing Rissa around, they had been a problem
+for a while, sent them peeing their pants and
+
+rushing. You spoke with Rissa’s father in his
+tinkering inventor’s store, in which you
+
+discovered a shiny object, a fantastic
+experimental hand crossbow construct of his that
+
+he would be interested in relinquishing without
+payment if you do him the favor of correcting a
+
+mistake he made a while back. Apparently he
+crafted, on the request of the Starosta of the
+
+city, a powerful Gearkeeper, a construct-like
+entity that was meant to help be a warden within
+
+the prison that went crazy, killed a bunch of
+people and they sealed it off, and it’s been there
+
+forgotten ever since. You said you’d take a look
+at this. Eventually you discovered that the money
+
+you had lost had been taken by four children, who
+currently are without parents, who have been
+
+living on the streets here in the city of
+Hupperdook while their folks had been sent to the
+
+prison six months before for being caught
+worshiping unapproved deities within the Empire.
+
+You, after having this conversation with them,
+retrieving your money, and leaving Kiri with them
+
+for the time being for safekeeping, decided to see
+if you had the possibility to prevent them from
+
+being sent to an Empire-run orphanage, in the
+hopes of freeing their parents in some way, shape
+
+or form from their binds. That was where we had
+left off.
+
+MARISHA: Where are we now? Are we still in the
+butcher?
+
+MATT: You guys have stepped out of the butcher
+home, leaving the kids behind with Kiri, and you
+
+are now out in the open streets of Hupperdook,
+late morning, midday. What would you like to do?
+
+MARISHA: Is Rissa still there?
+
+MATT: Rissa is still with you.
+
+MARISHA: Rissa? Sorry. Okay.
+
+SAM: You said late morning? Midday? So we could at
+least go check out this prison and do some
+
+scouting before nightfall, yeah?
+
+MARISHA: We were talking about planning, and then
+sleeping, and then going.
+
+TALIESIN: If we see those teenagers also, we
+should probably call them off.
+
+SAM: Oh, the teenagers.
+
+MARISHA: I really would hate for our problem with
+them to end up coming and finding the kids. My
+
+words aren’t really here right now, you know what
+I mean.
+
+SAM: Yeah, you just had a baby, I understand.
+
+MARISHA: Emotionally.
+
+LIAM: Do we want to leave it up to chance that
+we’ll run into those two kids, that they will not
+
+succeed, or we’ll find them?
+
+TALIESIN: At the very least, we can leave word
+with their employer and if we run into them, we’ll
+
+call them off.
+
+MARISHA: I say we send Rissa to go talk to them.
+
+SAM: Rissa knows the town, though, she might be
+able to help us scout out this prison.
+
+MARISHA: That’s true. Maybe we go back to their
+employer?
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll have Rissa meet us at the prison
+maybe later. She can call them off and we can head
+
+to the prison.
+
+SAM: Why don’t we have Fjord and Jester go tell
+their employers!
+
+TALIESIN: (as Fjord) “Yeah, that sounds great!”
+(as Taliesin) Never mind. (as Fjord) “Yep. Well.
+
+“Great. Yep”
+
+SAM: Which one are you? Are you Jester?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know anymore. Who wants the
+node, by the way?
+
+SAM: Oh, yes. Well, let’s find out if we need it
+yet.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, let’s hold on to it. Maybe there’s
+going to be some sort of emergency situation.
+
+TALIESIN: Fair.
+
+MARISHA: Use node in case of emergency.
+
+LIAM: Jester, could we perhaps hold on to your
+backpack before you go so that we have that in
+
+case we need it?
+
+MATT: “No! I am going to hold onto this. Why would
+I give it to you?”
+
+LIAM: Well, I feel it is fairly obvious, but okay,
+as you were.
+
+MATT: “I’m not going anywhere, why would I give it
+to you? This is my bag, I paid for it.”
+
+LIAM: Ja. Okay, so what are we doing now?
+
+SAM: I guess we’re all going.
+
+MARISHA: This is revenge for any time we haven’t
+let Matt go on an NPC, just saying.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s go take a look at this prison.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MATT: Rissa goes, “All right, I can go ahead and
+lead you to it. Can’t say I’ve been too close to
+
+"it, personally, so far. Follow me.” Rissa guides
+you through the rest of the shelf back to the
+
+walkway that winds down the front of the mountain
+to the bottom half of the city of Hupperdook.
+
+SAM: Lowerdook.
+
+MATT: Lowerdook, if you will.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, are Fjord and Jester going to go
+call off the employers?
+
+MATT: They’re with you guys. You can go head that
+way if you want to call them off, unless you want
+
+to send them on their own wild goose chase.
+
+SAM: Fuck those guys. They’ll be fine.
+
+MARISHA: I would just hate for them to find the
+kids and then do something to the kids.
+
+SAM: How would they find the kids?
+
+TALIESIN: They’re literally on a mission to find
+the kids right now.
+
+SAM: Hmm.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, we put Caleb’s Alarm across it,
+but still.
+
+SAM: We did.
+
+ASHLEY: Still, if they get across.
+
+MARISHA: Exactly. I don’t know.
+
+MATT: “I could maybe send them a message?”
+
+SAM: Oh, yes. You have that spell, don’t you?
+
+MATT: “I do!”
+
+MARISHA: Can you do it to the kids?
+
+SAM: To Fitz and Ashton.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN and MARISHA: Let’s do that.
+
+SAM: To Fitz.
+
+MATT: “Okay.”
+
+MARISHA: Man, that solves that problem.
+
+MATT: She quietly tugs on the symbol of the
+Traveler and goes like, “Okay, Fitz? This is the
+
+"girl with the people that were making you
+angry–”
+
+SAM: You have, like, eight words left.
+
+MATT: “We… found it so…”
+
+MARISHA: We don’t need help.
+
+MATT: “Everything is good!”
+
+SAM: Go back to work.
+
+MATT: “I think that’s all of it.
+Go-back-to-work!”
+
+TALIESIN: Technically, “go back to work” can be
+one word if you say it fast enough.
+
+SAM: That’s true. A lot of that was hyphenated.
+
+MATT: “The Traveler is very forgiving.”
+
+TALIESIN: Grammar.
+
+MATT: Rissa leads you down this path to the Iron
+Lot, which is– you’re guided to the basement.
+
+You’ve seen it as you approached and there was the
+large platform elevator that rose up to the second
+
+layer. It’s currently not being used; it’s locked
+on the upper floor. As you head into that area,
+
+the smokestacks are billowing strongly, business
+is in the process of being done full-throttle in
+
+the understanding that this coming conflict or the
+now arrived conflict on the eastern side has put
+
+everyone into overdrive to prepare whatever sort
+of equipment or weaponry they can send that
+
+direction.
+
+SAM: And the stuff they’re making is catapults or
+guns?
+
+MATT: Well, from the outside, all you can see,
+because you haven’t been inside any of the
+
+warehouses– There is the Iron Lot and there’s the
+Assembly Yard. The Assembly Yard is the one that’s
+
+the open space where they’re building these large
+siege engines. You see mobile carts that are
+
+either horse-drawn or powered by something you
+don’t quite understand yet that have other large
+
+weapons attached to them.
+
+MARISHA: We saw bolt-throwers, those giant
+bolt-throwers. Like, Lord of the Rings-style.
+
+Siege towers. Also Lord of the Rings-style.
+
+TALIESIN: Very Lord of the Rings.
+
+MARISHA: Battering ram, like every fantasy
+movie-style, but definitely Lord of the Rings and
+
+the huge cannons.
+
+TALIESIN: Not very Lord of the Rings.
+
+MARISHA: Pirates.
+
+SAM: Cool.
+
+MARISHA: That’s what we saw last– or that’s what
+I think I saw when we did a perception check or
+
+something.
+
+MATT: Mm-hmm.
+
+TALIESIN: And it looks like a big factory that
+looks like a evil Willy Wonka factory kind of thing.
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh.
+
+MATT: Yes. So as you are being led down, Rissa’s
+pointing out some elements of it. She goes, “Okay,
+
+"so over that side is the Omnismelter.” She points
+over to a cluster of a dozen or so warehouses that
+
+are scattered in a spider web-like formation that
+are connected by a series of hallways between each
+
+other and then towards a central piece. She goes,
+“That there is where most of the foundries of the
+
+"city lie. Where all the various mined ingots or
+those imported are melted down and utilized. The
+
+"foreman there is a bit of a tool. There’s the
+Armavault.” She points to the far northern side of
+
+the mountain base and you see a 25, 30-foot tall
+by 60-foot across iron door that is solid and
+
+jammed into the side of this mountain. It looks
+like it’s very well protected from this glance at
+
+the distance. From what you can see, there’s maybe
+two dozen or so crownsguard that are stationed at
+
+its base. “That’s where most of the funds that are
+saved for the uses of the city maintain as well as
+
+"a number of the not currently being used devices
+of war. Means of defending the city should it come
+
+"under attack, if you will.” Points over there. You
+can see what looks to be where most of this smoke
+
+and steam is rising from. There is this one large,
+two-story black tower that has a single column of
+
+fast moving smoke pouring out of it. You can see
+areas where the smoke seems to be pulsing or
+
+darkening and widening at certain places. She
+goes, “That there is the Underbellows. That’s
+
+"where they utilize a number of the forges and
+furnaces for the factories here. They’ve harnessed
+
+"some of the volcanic activity beneath the mountain
+and that maintains a consistent heat for the
+
+"forges. Smells downright awful, to be honest. Over
+there’s the Firemark Facility.” She points over to
+
+a building that looks a little simpler. It’s not
+super tall and ominous-looking. It’s very plain,
+
+made of cheap metals. You notice all the buildings
+here are mostly metal, probably because there’s a
+
+lot of dealing with heat, fire, sparks, and the
+last thing you need is any of these things to
+
+catch fire. She points, though, to the Firemark
+Facility and she goes, “This is where they’re
+
+"developing a majority of certain explosive and
+black powder-based technologies.”
+
+SAM: What’s that place called again?
+
+MATT: “It’s called the Firemark Facility.”
+
+MARISHA: Firemark.
+
+SAM: Is it heavily protected?
+
+MATT: “(chuckles) Most everything is here. Then
+right over there,” and she points to the southern
+
+side of the mountain base of the Iron Lot to a
+smaller doorway. Similar in shape and construction
+
+as to the Armavault, but it’s a little more
+localized. Maybe about 15-foot high and about
+
+20-foot wide. “That is the Gearhold Prison. The
+one you were asking about. The one where my father
+
+"done fucked up.”
+
+TALIESIN: What do you know about that machine he
+built, anyway?
+
+MATT: “It’s– have you ever seen an automaton
+where they’re made of stone or made of clay?”
+
+TALIESIN: Come across a couple.
+
+MATT: “Imagine one that’s made of metal and gears
+and blades. Lots of blades.”
+
+MARISHA: What? Blades?
+
+MATT: “Blades.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh, god.
+
+TALIESIN: Vampire Hunters. Sorry.
+
+MATT: “It is covered in Daywalkers, yes.”
+
+MARISHA: Do the blades spin?
+
+MATT: “They do. The whole thing spins, actually.
+It doesn’t have feet.”
+
+SAM: It just rolls and cuts.
+
+MATT: “Basically.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god.
+
+LIAM: It is animated by magical means?
+
+MATT: “Partially magical and partially
+clockwork.”
+
+TALIESIN: Is it steam-powered? Or is it–
+
+MATT: “The power source is magical, but most of
+its actual locomotion is done through clockwork
+
+"and various internal gears. It’s actually quite a
+marvel to behold. It’s just–”
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a magical power source, then.
+
+MATT: “As far as I know. It’s not my mastery. It’s
+my daft father’s.”
+
+MARISHA: So where’s the source?
+
+SAM: It’s inside of it, I would assume, right?
+
+MARISHA: So if we get the source–
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe?
+
+SAM: What did your father call this “robit”?
+
+MATT: “He referred to it as the Gearkeeper.”
+
+SAM: The Gearkeeper.
+
+MATT: “It was designed to be one of the
+threatening wardens to help quell any sort of
+
+"breakouts of the prison. Meant as an intimidation
+device for those who attempted to rise up against
+
+"their captors and possibly be its first initial
+run to be a defensive sentinel for the city. If
+
+"these things worked properly, having five or six
+of them just rapidly on the outskirts of the city
+
+"would probably keep anyone from trying to break in
+here or make any sort of lawless act in its
+
+"boundaries. Unfortunately, they’ve only made one
+and it went crazy and killed a bunch of people. So
+
+"there’s that.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Doesn’t sound like a city I’d want
+to live in.
+
+MATT: “Yeah, that’s why I’m trying to fix it.”
+
+MARISHA: (sighs)
+
+TALIESIN: They just let it– they’ve cornered it
+into a–
+
+MATT: “They sealed it off. They’ve been trying to
+get back to it, but there’s a lot of distraction
+
+"and honestly it’s out of sight, out of mind, I
+think.”
+
+TALIESIN: Honestly, we could just show up and say
+we’ve been hired to try and take care of it and go in.
+
+SAM: Would anyone believe that?
+
+TALIESIN: We technically have been hired to go in
+and take care of it. We’re just working in trade.
+
+SAM: Not by the city.
+
+TALIESIN: No, they know not by the city, so by a
+private contractor.
+
+LIAM: I am sorry, I don’t understand. You say
+they’re too busy to deal with it. Have they got it
+
+locked away in a vault while it just stomps
+around?
+
+MATT: “As far as I know, yeah. They’d originally
+had it placed in the bottom floor in one section
+
+"which had more of the very violent criminals and
+killed a bunch of them. Not too bad. Killed a
+
+"bunch of guards. That’s pretty bad. At the time,
+they didn’t have the manpower to fight it off, so
+
+"they sealed the doors and haven’t had a problem
+since.”
+
+ASHLEY: So was anyone else left in there with it?
+That it maybe didn’t kill or–
+
+MATT: “It’s been there for quite some time. A
+couple years at least, I think. Two or three
+
+"years? So if anyone was, they’ve expired, I’m
+pretty sure. Sorry.”
+
+ASHLEY: That’s fine by me.
+
+SAM: Hmm.
+
+TALIESIN: I think we’re going to have to do a
+little more research, but I’m feeling pretty good
+
+about our prospects.
+
+SAM: Well, the main concern is getting in the
+prison. I don’t know if walking up to the front
+
+door and saying, “Hi, we’re here to take care of
+your spinny death problem,” is going to work.
+
+TALIESIN: We heard you have a bug problem. We’re
+here to take care of it?
+
+SAM: Do we need outfits or something?
+
+TALIESIN: I mean, I suggest we wear shoes and
+pants, but you know.
+
+SAM: What, like Orkin man outfits, or do we need
+to look like we’re official?
+
+ASHLEY: Like a uniform of some sort?
+
+TALIESIN: We could have a letter from your father,
+perhaps?
+
+MARISHA: Can we go get suits?
+
+MATT: “That’s true.”
+
+SAM: But they don’t like her father.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, but they’d be perfectly happy if
+we– We’re going in knowing full well what we’re
+
+getting into. There’s no harm, no foul there.
+
+MARISHA: Awesome black suits.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, they certainly have nothing to lose.
+We are a group of people claiming we’re here to
+
+deal with their issue. We either die doing it or
+solve the problem.
+
+SAM: Heist-type maintenance workers uniforms?
+
+TALIESIN: Okay. You really want to break into a
+prison?
+
+SAM: I just want to wear a onesie.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: I feel like we can make that dream come
+true.
+
+MARISHA: Something with a big lapel. Maybe double
+breasted. Sounds great. We would look so handsome,
+
+you guys.
+
+MATT: Jester leans in to Rissa and goes, “Rissa?
+Do you have any examples of your father’s writing
+
+"because I can copy it pretty well.”
+
+SAM: Ooh. That sounds like something that’s way
+too smart for Laura to say.
+
+MARISHA: Oh.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re so lucky she’s not watching right
+now.
+
+MATT: She’ll be watching.
+
+ASHLEY: She probably is.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s probably watching. Hi, Laura. I
+would love to see if there’s any
+
+sort of sketch or blueprint of this thing that we
+could just take a look at first and maybe have a
+
+thought of our plan of attack.
+
+MATT: “I can guarantee you they’re not going to
+have any publicly available blueprints of a prison.”
+
+TALIESIN: No, I mean of the machine.
+
+MATT: “Oh!”
+
+MARISHA: Would your dad?
+
+MATT: “We can certainly ask.”
+
+TALIESIN: Just to sort of see what we’re getting
+into.
+
+MATT: You see that spark in her eye of a good idea
+and then thinking about having to go back to her
+
+father she’s like (sighs).
+
+TALIESIN: We can go on our own, if you like.
+
+MATT: “No, it’s fine. I’ll go. I’m used to him.
+It’s okay. Come on.”
+
+MARISHA: Does your dad like pastries? Does he have
+a sweet tooth?
+
+MATT: “I imagine he does. I’ve seen him eat a
+few.”
+
+MARISHA: Does he like pies?
+
+MATT: “Probably.”
+
+MARISHA: Let’s pick up your dad a pie on the way
+home.
+
+MATT: “Okay.”
+
+MARISHA: People like pies, right?
+
+SAM: I love a pie.
+
+TALIESIN: I mean, I like pies but I’m a bad
+example of so many things.
+
+ASHLEY: I really like meat pies.
+
+MARISHA: Meat pies. Would your dad like a meat
+pie? I just hear people bring pies.
+
+MATT: Fjord kind of leans in and goes, “That’s
+good, Jester.”
+
+MARISHA: Thank you.
+
+TALIESIN: (snickers)
+
+MARISHA: Beau. But that’s okay. It’s been a long,
+emotional day.
+
+MATT: Has been.
+
+MARISHA: Hasn’t it, Fjord?
+
+MATT: I have too much in my head right now, guys.
+It’s been a long day.
+
+SAM: Why? You playing five characters at the same
+time?
+
+MATT: It’s fine.
+
+TALIESIN: This brings me back to some home games.
+
+MATT: Thanks, Baby Willingham.
+
+MARISHA: Oh man. So much, it’s been the longest
+day.
+
+MATT: It’s been the longest day.
+
+LIAM: (chuckles)
+
+MARISHA: We stop and get a meat pie on the way.
+
+MATT: All right. Easy enough as you’re wandering
+through the street, following the scents of food
+
+that are being cooked in advance of the current
+lunch hour happening. You hear a few whistles go
+
+off in the distance and in that moment, Rissa
+goes, “We best be hurrying before the rush hits.”
+
+And you pick up the pace as you start hearing the
+different steam whistles go off and you watch a
+
+lot of the buildings begin to just swarm out with
+all their workers on their brief lunch break. You
+
+manage to stay ahead of most of the wave making
+their way up to the top shelf of the city,
+
+eventually coming to one of the vendors on the
+outside who is swarmed by about 12 or 13 different
+
+gnomes. You wait patiently for about a good 15, 20
+minutes or so as they prepare and get all their
+
+meat pies ready, sweet pies ready. Sell a few
+things, a couple of their regulars cut in line in
+
+front of you, not paying much attention or caring
+that you’re waiting patiently. But there is a
+
+large crowd behind you and you manage to get to
+the front and the two gnomes that are currently in
+
+the process of divvying this up look to the
+rest of you and go, “Oh, you’re a right
+
+"interesting team. What brings you here? You
+looking for pies? We got pies. You want pies?”
+
+SAM: We’d like a hospitable meat pie.
+
+MATT: “Single?”
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+MATT: “It’s not enough to go around, I can tell
+you.”
+
+ASHLEY: Well, we might need a couple.
+
+MARISHA: One for us, one for him? Two meat pie–
+sorry, three meat pies!
+
+MATT: “All right!” Turns around and pulls out
+three gnome-sized meat pies which are about that big.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh.
+
+MARISHA: Can we make that a double?
+
+MATT: “Six gnomish meat pies!”
+
+MARISHA: Thank you.
+
+MATT: Passes them over.
+
+SAM: We have money again, don’t we?
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, we have our money back.
+
+MARISHA: I throw down for the pies.
+
+MATT: Okay. We’ll say for the total of that, it’s
+maybe a silver.
+
+SAM: When the whistles blew, Matthew, did we see
+any guards do a shift change at the prison?
+
+MATT: Because you were rushing to get the pies,
+make a perception check with disadvantage at this
+
+distance.
+
+MARISHA: Mm.
+
+SAM: Seven.
+
+MATT: Seven. You have no idea.
+
+MARISHA: That was super smart though.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, no. That’s a good thought.
+
+MATT: You have your meat pies. You want to make
+your way over back to the Tinkertop.
+
+MARISHA: I pass out meat pies to anyone who wants
+one, but save one.
+
+MATT: All right. So you have one ready. You guys
+snack as you walk along. Interesting point of
+
+noticing, as you guys come by, you do see a
+familiar sight for you and for those who’ve been
+
+in the Empire for a bit. You’re familiar with this
+as well, Nott and Caleb.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+MATT: You see a crew. It’s two crownsguard that
+are flanking one figure you see wearing a black
+
+cloak with gold trim that goes just past the
+shoulders. It’s almost like a shawl or a um…
+
+brain escapes the term. But it’s like a short
+cloak.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: These are the tithe collectors.
+
+SAM: Oh, yes.
+
+MARISHA: Taxman.
+
+MATT: They’re referred to colloquially as Reapers
+behind their back, but you see them exiting one
+
+home and moving onto the next door and knocking.
+
+MARISHA: Are they heading towards the butcher?
+
+MATT: A ways away, but they’re present. It seems
+that the time of year has come, the
+
+every-six-month window seems to be coming or has
+arrived. Nevertheless, you travel with meat pie in
+
+hand, eventually making your way back to Tinkertop
+Inventions, the door still partially ajar. You see
+
+the faint light of the two lanterns in the back as
+you enter, and there in the back you see, in the process
+
+of sketching something down, your good friend,
+Mastermaker Cleff Tinkertop. “Ah, you’ve returned!
+
+"Certainly good to see you! What can I help you
+with?”
+
+SAM: We’ve brought gift.
+
+MATT: “Oh, that’s so kind! Thank you so much!”
+
+MARISHA: It was Rissa’s idea.
+
+MATT: “Rissa, for your old pops, did you?” She’s
+like, “Well, it was sort of a group decision. Hope
+
+"you like it, Dad.” “It’s cold, but tasty. Anyway.”
+He takes it and starts eating it, stuffing it in
+
+chunks through his gnomish maw, getting bits of
+the gravy dripping off of the chin.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to take a stab at this death
+machine. We were curious if you could–
+
+MARISHA: I love that that’s what we’re calling
+it.
+
+TALIESIN: I like the description.
+
+MARISHA: Spinning death machine.
+
+TALIESIN: If there’s any information you can give
+us about the machine, just so that we’re not going
+
+in cold, like if you know if it has any
+vulnerabilities to anything.
+
+MATT: “Plenty! I built the thing myself. Don’t
+worry!”
+
+TALIESIN: If you can sketch it for us so we can
+get a sense of–
+
+MATT: “Oh, I’ve already got it. Don’t worry there,
+friend. I’ll be right back!” Turns around and
+
+disappears behind a–
+
+SAM: We could steal the crossbow. We don’t have to
+do the mission at all.
+
+TALIESIN: Please don’t tell me that you’re going
+to do that.
+
+SAM: I could, just saying.
+
+MATT: You hear some rustling and some things
+falling over. A couple of banging noises, and then
+
+you hear a (clattering), “Damn it.”
+
+SAM: Is that a cymbal crashing?
+
+LIAM: Being as the man’s daughter is standing
+here with us, perhaps we will pass on that idea.
+
+MATT: “Yeah, I can hear you, just so you’re aware.
+I’m right next to you, little one.”
+
+SAM: She’s clever.
+
+MARISHA: No, she just has hearing.
+
+SAM: No. She’s a wily one.
+
+MATT: A moment later, Cleff returns, clutching an
+armful of rolled pieces of paper and prints and
+
+parchment and goes, “Here’s about everything I’ve
+got on the thing.” Throws it down in front of you,
+
+some of it unrolls. There’s various stages of
+design, the breakdown of the mechanics and the
+
+interior of this. It’s extremely intricate and
+very impressive clockwork. Roll an intelligence check.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, but I’m not going to be able
+to make heads or tails of any of this shit.
+
+LIAM: Yes, I have questions about it as well.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Caleb, you are the one who is the most
+proficient with understanding systems. If you
+
+could make an intelligence check for me as well,
+both you and Molly, since Molly was the first to
+
+grab them.
+
+LIAM: Oh. Natural one.
+
+MARISHA: Oh no-sies!
+
+SAM: He’s eating that extra meat pie.
+
+TALIESIN: Eight.
+
+MATT: You both take a moment and look over it.
+One, it’s all written in Gnomish. Do either of
+
+you guys understand Gnomish as a language?
+
+TALIESIN: Does anybody understand Gnomish?
+
+SAM: Gnome.
+
+MATT: Secondly, a lot of the blueprints are in
+shorthand, and the design work– while it’s very
+
+beautiful to see– the actual sketching of each
+stage of its construction and the interior
+
+mechanisms about it are very beautiful, it is very
+intricate. Paying attention to it and looking it
+
+over, the best you can ascertain is there is a
+core. There is some sort of a device that powers
+
+it. Through the notes around it, it’s supposed to
+power for about 200 years before it needs
+
+replacing.
+
+SAM: Just wait it out.
+
+LIAM: It’s a good half-life.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a Duracell.
+
+MATT: However, around it is layer after layer of
+metallic iron rings that are joined at certain
+
+hinge points so they can spin and shift in the
+inside like a gyroscope.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s very hard to get a spell in there.
+
+MATT: Yes. It’s not impossible if you pull enough
+of the armor away, which is the next stage, the
+
+layers of armor. There’s three different layers of
+articulated armor that can shift and move because
+
+on the inside there are about a dozen bladed arms
+that, at any given point in time, can fold out of
+
+the armor and strike like small scythes or sickles
+and then retract inside.
+
+SAM: You are fucking crazy, Cleff!
+
+MATT: “That’s certainly not the first time I’ve
+heard that!”
+
+LIAM: Yeah, so Herr Tinkertop, once we are to
+get past these defenses, would dispelling its
+
+arcane nature shut the machine down?
+
+MATT: “I mean, that’s possible. Oh, curses! I
+should’ve thought of some way of a fail-safe to
+
+"prevent that from happening. Well, next design!
+Next design, it’ll be dispel-proof. Thank you for
+
+"that! You’re a good–”
+
+LIAM: The nutshell protecting that core needs to
+be defeated first?
+
+MATT: “I imagine to a certain extent. There is a
+base level of insulation from impactful or various
+
+"magical intrusions that could affect the core,
+that I did think of. But there’s only really one.
+
+"I should’ve put three.”
+
+TALIESIN: We start pulling plates off–
+
+MATT: He starts making notes feverishly.
+
+TALIESIN: – start cutting our way through one
+specific spot, we could eventually get to a point
+
+where you could get some spells in there.
+
+SAM: Or maybe Yasha could hit it with her sword.
+
+TALIESIN: You may have to tank this.
+
+ASHLEY: I will certainly try, this does seem like
+a very–
+
+TALIESIN: Is there a front and back to this thing,
+or is it just a whirling dervish?
+
+MATT: “The front and back is–” Dervish! That’s a
+great pirate word, dervish! He looks to you and
+
+goes, “There is, kind of.” He goes through one of
+the papers and pulls it open and there are plates
+
+of the armor– certain plates that fold up from
+the inside. They open and there is a small lens,
+
+like a crystal-type lens, that recesses on the
+inside when it’s moving and then seems to push out
+
+from it to see.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+SAM: Question. Can it climb?
+
+MATT: “Depending on the terrain, probably. If it’s
+flat-walled surfaces, it’s not designed for
+
+"climbing. It’s designed for intimidation and
+slaughtering. Perhaps my design was a bit
+
+"unfocused for the reason they asked me to build
+it, but, ah! Next time. Climbing? I don’t know,
+
+"probably not.”
+
+LIAM: And does it have any capabilities of
+attacking at range?
+
+MATT: “As far as I know, no, but it moves very
+fast.”
+
+MARISHA: These lenses, I’m assuming they’re
+regular lenses? I don’t know, they can still be
+
+blinded, right?
+
+MATT: “Maybe. They’re made of a very thick
+crystalline substance that had to be imported from
+
+"up north from the remnants of one of the old elven
+societies there that specialized in making strong
+
+"crystal.”
+
+MARISHA: So it’s super cheap and easy to break.
+Imported. Great.
+
+TALIESIN: It could possibly be blinded by
+obscuring the lens?
+
+MATT: “Maybe.”
+
+MARISHA: I was going to say, if we can get
+something to blind it, it’s still just a lens.
+
+MATT: Starts writing down more notes. “Make sure
+lens can’t be obscured in a future design.”
+
+SAM: Cleff, when you were building this thing, you
+were building it off-site I assume, right?
+
+MATT: “No, I built it here!”
+
+SAM: No, I mean off the prison site, not–
+
+MATT: “Oh, right.”
+
+SAM: So you don’t know any extra secret entrances
+or exits to the prison itself?
+
+MATT: “No, unfortunately, they keep us away from
+all of that for security reasons. So I couldn’t
+
+"help people break in or out. Like now.
+That would’ve been very helpful. Sorry.”
+
+LIAM: Would it be foolish to have you speak on our
+behalf to usher us in?
+
+MATT: “I don’t think they’re going to let me in.”
+
+TALIESIN: Not you in per se, but if we show up as
+representatives here to dismantle the machine?
+
+LIAM: Yes, you’re finally ready to make amends, et
+cetera.
+
+TALIESIN: And you hired us to go in and do some
+work.
+
+MATT: “Maybe.” He looks at Rissa. “Rissa, would
+you mind bringing your old pops with you?” She’s
+
+like, “Only to the door, Dad, then you can come
+back.” She glares over the two of you. “If that’s
+
+"necessary.”
+
+TALIESIN: Whatever works.
+
+MATT: “Fine, come along, then. We’ll close up
+behind, get your keys.” “Oh, I haven’t been down
+
+"for a proper walk with friends in some time, I’m
+so excited!”
+
+TALIESIN: We should get some honey or something. I
+bet some honey on the lens would be a real pain in
+
+the ass.
+
+MATT: He takes the last bit of meat pie and shoves
+it in his mouth real fast.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you have any honey?
+
+MATT: (unintelligible shouting)
+
+LIAM: I have honey.
+
+TALIESIN: Of course you do.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Why not something darker? Like ash,
+charcoal, black powder.
+
+LIAM: I have that as well.
+
+TALIESIN: What do you have?
+
+LIAM: I have molasses.
+
+MARISHA: That is darker.
+
+TALIESIN: Why do you have molasses? This is
+suddenly very exciting.
+
+LIAM: I will tell you that in a few minutes,
+actually, if that’s all right.
+
+MATT: Jester goes, “This entire time you’ve been
+holding out on delicious molasses?”
+
+LIAM: It’s industrial grade, it is not for
+baking.
+
+MATT: “Are you sure?”
+
+LIAM: I am quite sure. Did I stutter?
+
+TALIESIN: Is this why your skin is so smooth?
+You’ve been giving yourself a facial every night.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, what’s the difference between baking
+and industrial grade?
+
+LIAM: That is a good question, Yasha. I don’t cook
+with it, I use it for arcane things.
+
+TALIESIN: Magic molasses.
+
+MARISHA: Actually, this brings up a– how much
+molasses do you have?
+
+MATT: (as Fjord) “Yeah, how much you carrying?”
+
+MARISHA: That’s so weird. It’s so abrasive
+sometimes.
+
+LIAM: I have about the amount of a plum, wrapped
+in–
+
+SAM: That’s enough to smear a lens.
+
+TALIESIN: I was thinking if we had a small glass
+jar of it, we could give it a throw.
+
+ASHLEY: We could also put a meat pie in the–
+
+SAM: I could put a meat pie on the end of one of
+my bolts and shoot it at it.
+
+MATT: (as Fjord) “Pie-chucker.”
+
+MARISHA: I feel like molasses would gum up
+something that’s clockwork, right?
+
+TALIESIN: It could help, it depends on how strong
+the clockwork is.
+
+SAM: Or just tar or something.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, something sticky.
+
+TALIESIN: Bubble gum.
+
+LIAM: That would be even better, if we could get our
+hands on–
+
+SAM: Maybe on the walk, we can see if we can find
+a tar restaurant.
+
+MATT: Rissa goes, “I mean, tar is not uncommonly
+used in some of the industrial districts down in
+
+"the Iron Lot.”
+
+TALIESIN: And we do have some friends over there
+that we just sent their young interns away on a–
+
+MATT: “Well, the forge masters, they’re mainly in
+metalwork. As far as tar use, that’s going to be
+
+"down in the Iron Lot, and that’s going to be–
+you’re on your own there.”
+
+MARISHA: I mean, how do we transport it?
+
+SAM: In a bucket?
+
+TALIESIN: In a very gentle bucket or pot.
+
+MARISHA: Heated tar? In a bucket?
+
+TALIESIN: It doesn’t have to be hot. It just has
+to be–
+
+SAM: It has to be a little hot.
+
+TALIESIN: Has to be a little hot.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it gets hard. It’s tar.
+
+MATT: Fjord goes, “If only we knew someone around
+here who is pretty decent with fire.”
+
+SAM: Hey, you could heat up a bucket of tar as we
+walk into a prison. That wouldn’t be suspicious at all!
+
+MARISHA: Once we get down! Once we get down!
+
+LIAM: That is a good idea, Fjord. Also, Fjord,
+congratulations on this, your most auspicious day.
+
+MATT: “Why thank you. I appreciate you being so
+forthright and appreciative, Caleb.”
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Get your sleep while you can, and
+don’t use the exercise ball to rock him to sleep
+
+because then they get addicted to it, and that’s
+the end of your sleep life yourself.
+
+MATT: “I have no idea what the hell you’re talking
+about.”
+
+ASHLEY: Did you babysit a lot as a kid, Caleb? Is
+this how you know so much?
+
+LIAM: Oh, no.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s so many walls being broken.
+There’s like fourth wall, fifth wall, sixth wall.
+
+It’s too deep.
+
+MATT: You just broke the Prismatic Wall.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re in the eleventh dimension now.
+This is getting a little heavy.
+
+MARISHA: He totally just took a thank you for not
+his baby being born!
+
+SAM: This is the worst night ever!
+
+TALIESIN: Can I remove that?
+
+ASHLEY: Please take it off!
+
+SAM: No! I’m committed!
+
+MARISHA: I feel like at break time last time, it
+came off.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: You made it to break, I think.
+
+SAM: I’ve got two spares if I need it!
+
+MARISHA, ASHLEY, and TALIESIN: No!
+
+MARISHA: Don’t do this to yourself.
+
+MATT: At this point, as you guys are having this
+awkward conversation, Cleff is rushing around
+
+grabbing a coat and grabbing some other things,
+filling the inside of his apron with various tools
+
+and utensils, “Oh, I can probably use that. All
+right, I think I’m ready to come with you.”
+
+SAM: Let’s go.
+
+MATT: You all step outside, and you get about 30
+or so feet before you see Cleff’s pace is slowing.
+
+He takes another step and keeps looking around.
+
+MARISHA: When was the last time you left your
+house, Cleff?
+
+MATT: “It’s been a while. It’s starting to get a
+little warm.” Rissa is like, “He’s kind of a–
+
+"what’s the term?”
+
+MARISHA: Agoraphobic.
+
+MATT: “Agoraphobic, if you will. He’s a bit iffy
+on the outside. Are you sure you’re all right,
+
+Dad? You can still stay.” “No, no, it’s fine. I
+want to hang out with my friends here. (nervous laugh)”
+
+SAM: Do you need a drink to soothe your nerves?
+
+MATT: “I don’t– I’ve never had a drink. I don’t
+need a drink, but thank you.”
+
+SAM: But it would really help.
+
+MATT: “Well I–” and looks over.
+
+TALIESIN: How about just a huddle up? Huddle up,
+let’s just–
+
+MARISHA: Just us?
+
+TALIESIN: No, we can put him in the center.
+
+MARISHA: Huddle around him, okay. We perform a
+protective–
+
+MATT: You all get really close to him. He’s like,
+“Oh, this is really warm. This is a lot of attention.”
+
+MARISHA: No, not that close. We’re making a safety
+bubble.
+
+MATT: “Oh, all right.”
+
+TALIESIN: I mean, it could be warm.
+
+LIAM: This is silly. I take off the cloak that
+I’ve been wearing for a week or so now, and I just
+
+put it over the man’s head.
+
+MATT: (muffled yelp)
+
+LIAM: No, oh, sorry.
+
+SAM and MATT: In a comforting way.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: To disguise his appearance.
+
+SAM: In a smothering way.
+
+MATT: He takes it and pulls it over his head. “All
+right,” and he, “Let’s go (nervous chuckle).” And
+
+is like, “One step, two step.” He’s basically Bill
+Murray in What About Bob? at this point. He’s
+
+concentrating on each step he makes going
+forward. It’s slowing you down a little bit, but
+
+he’s making it forward. Rissa is like,
+(exasperated groan). You eventually make your way,
+
+further and further.
+
+SAM: We’re just going to walk up to the guards and
+say we’re here to dismantle the “robit,” right?
+
+TALIESIN: We are professional robot dismantlers.
+
+SAM: All right, let’s do it. Who’s going to be
+doing the talking?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, we’re going to stop and pick up
+some tar on the way there and– I nominate the
+
+human to talk.
+
+MARISHA: Ah, I can’t nominate Fjord?
+
+SAM: Yeah. Yeah, no, I think Fjord would agree
+with that.
+
+MARISHA: Do you believe in me, Fjord?
+
+MATT: “You know, if I have learned anything it is
+that you are full of surprises. So by all means.”
+
+MARISHA: All right, tar first.
+
+SAM: Tar first. Where do we go for tar, the Iron
+Lot?
+
+MATT: Rissa looks. “Iron Lot’s most likely. I’ll
+keep an eye out, follow me.” She leads you guys
+
+down the switchback path, once more down to the
+Iron Lot, the bottom shelf of the city. There,
+
+upon keeping an eye out, Rissa is looking back and
+forth. On the outskirts of the Firemark Facility
+
+she’s like, “No, I don’t think they’re going to do
+much as far as tar goes. Honestly, a lot of it’s
+
+"probably based somewhere in the Assembly Yard.
+That’s where they’re making the bigger constructs
+
+"and having to piece together wood exteriors.”
+
+MARISHA: Is that far from here?
+
+MATT: “No, it’s on the northern side of the bottom
+shelf.” She leads you guys over to the outskirts,
+
+and there is a big fence that wraps around the
+Assembly Yard, where a lot of these thin standing,
+
+skeletal towers of metal are placed against some
+constructs that are in partial levels of
+
+construction. Others are empty and not currently
+in use. Other ones seem to have been near
+
+completion, and they’re in the process of
+preparing and breaking down the various siege
+
+engine for transport to the east. Who’s keeping an
+eye out to see if there’s anything that could be
+
+used like tar? Who’s looking for this?
+
+SAM: I’ll look for that.
+
+MATT: All right, make a perception check, please.
+
+SAM: 18.
+
+MATT: 18, not too bad. You take about five minutes
+or so to case the vicinity, and looking between
+
+the gate, you can see, two towers over, there is one
+partially constructed, wide bolt-thrower cart that
+
+only has one that’s currently bolted to it. You see that
+they’re taking leather elements and tarring them
+
+around the edges to prevent any sort of impacts
+from splintering the wood that’s carrying it. It
+
+looks like from there, they go with a leather case
+and put metal over that and bolt it down. But in
+
+the process they do have what looks to be a couple
+of small pails that have some thick, black,
+
+tar-like substance that they’re putting around the
+edges.
+
+SAM: And we’re behind a gate? And there’s
+workers everywhere?
+
+MATT: There’s probably, within current view of the
+open portion of this side of the Assembly Yard,
+
+about 20 or so workers that are in the middle of
+focusing on their work at hand. But it’s in an
+
+open space, with maybe 20 to 30 feet open between
+each project tower. So, it’s pretty open. You’d
+
+have to be creative.
+
+SAM: This is at the Assembly Yard?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+MARISHA: I take my staff out. And I go (vibrating
+ring) across the gate.
+
+SAM: Ah, why would you– no.
+
+MATT: As you do so, (vibrating ring) across it,
+Rissa goes, “Ah!” And you look at the nearby
+
+tower, maybe 25 or 30 feet ahead to the north of
+you, one of the gnomes at the top of the tower is
+
+currently hammering away at one of the large
+constructs, siege tower-like structures. Looks
+
+over, pulls the goggles up, “Hello?”
+
+MARISHA: Good money or trade for some supplies!
+
+MATT: “Piss off.” Puts the goggles down.
+(hammering)
+
+SAM: We could just walk in and pretend to be a
+worker and just grab a bucket.
+
+MARISHA: I thought we’re behind a gate, like
+locked out.
+
+SAM: We could just sneak in the gate.
+
+MARISHA: Just sneak in?
+
+LIAM: I have an idea. I could summon Schmidt, and
+it would be a slow process, but he could carry it
+
+a couple of inches, low to the ground, and wait,
+and then go a couple of feet.
+
+SAM: What’s his range?
+
+LIAM: Oh, let’s see.
+
+SAM: How far is it, Matt?
+
+MATT: The nearest– the one little part of the
+yard that they’re currently using this material is
+
+about 60 feet away from you. 60 to 70 from your
+immediate guess at a glance.
+
+LIAM: Oh, it is about that distance.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: So it might be just shy or– let’s give it a
+whirl. Just give me ten-ish minutes.
+
+SAM: Ten minutes!? Oh, okay.
+
+LIAM: That’s not bad. I pull a book out of my
+holster and flip to the right page and start
+
+muttering. Does anyone want to do anything in
+those nine minutes left?
+
+SAM: I’ll walk around and see if there’s a way
+through the gate that’s hidden.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll keep an eye on the guard– not on the
+guard, I’ll keep an eye on the worker.
+
+SAM: Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten. You take the ten minutes to look
+through, but this part of the gate is pretty
+
+solidly locked in. It’s about six and a half,
+seven feet tall, and it’s just metal bars with
+
+almost a cross-lattice of even thinner metal
+strips that are about a quarter-inch thick. The
+
+openings are about that big, so you can still see
+through like portholes, but it’s not quite large
+
+enough for most of you to slip through. You might
+be able to if you’re careful and squeeze, since
+
+you’re small enough.
+
+MARISHA: And they’re mainly gnomes working this–
+
+MATT: Gnomes, and you see a handful of dwarves,
+but the dwarves seem to be mostly doing oversight,
+
+supervision.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. So I like, as a plan B, you
+disguising yourself as a gnome worker.
+
+SAM: Okay, let’s see if Schmidt can–
+
+MARISHA: Do it first?
+
+MATT: So you complete your spell ritual. You
+summon your Unseen Servant.
+
+LIAM: Ja. Schmidt, one second. You two, circus
+people. Mollymauk.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah.
+
+LIAM: Could– ah, that’s cute. Could the two of
+you do something fabulous over there?
+
+ASHLEY: Make a distraction?
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+SAM: Juggle something?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I could have you stand on my
+shoulders.
+
+TALIESIN: We could do that thing. Do you remember
+the vaulty thing? Let’s do the vaulting thing. All
+
+right, you’re going to do the thing over the–
+vault up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Ready?
+
+MATT: At which point, Cleff goes, “Oh! We’re going
+to see a performance.”
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. Get ready–
+
+LIAM: I preemptively send Schmidt over to the
+closest bucket.
+
+MATT: And the range on that is– It cannot get
+more than 60 feet than you, right?
+
+LIAM: Ja, that is correct.
+
+MATT: Okay. So, what are the two of you doing?
+
+TALIESIN: If you get near the fence, I’m going to
+try and jump on top of the fence.
+
+ASHLEY: Great.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, we’re going to need the
+(mumbling).
+
+SAM: Wait, you’re going to jump the fence? No,
+this is a distraction. You’re not supposed to jump
+
+in the–
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to jump on top of the fence.
+
+SAM: Oh god.
+
+ASHLEY: Are you going to go in or are you just
+going–
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’m just going to do the
+(mumbling).
+
+ASHLEY: Razzle dazzle?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, like the razzle dazzle.
+
+MATT: All right. So–
+
+LIAM: Here’s a question. I’m sorry. How wide
+apart– is it bars, the fence? What kind of fence
+
+do we have?
+
+MATT: There are large metal poles incrementally,
+about every 12 or so feet. In between there it
+
+looks like there are cross lattices of an inch
+wide and a quarter-inch thick metal bars that
+
+weave across to form the fence.
+
+LIAM: So that bucket is not going between any of
+that.
+
+MATT: Probably not.
+
+LIAM: Nott, would you be able to use your
+invisible hand to lift that up and over?
+
+SAM: When Schmidt comes close enough, yes.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys are prepared?
+
+TALIESIN: Yep.
+
+MATT: I would like you to make an acrobatics check
+with advantage because you’re being aided by
+
+Yasha.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll keep watch.
+
+TALIESIN: Oof, ten.
+
+MATT: Ten. As you reach down, grabbing the foot of
+Mollymauk, with one big (grunt) you lift him, and
+
+he tosses in the air, gracefully, arms out, almost
+like a reverse swan dive into the air. You land
+
+and (impact).
+
+(groaning)
+
+MATT: Land legs open, you manage to miss the vital
+areas, but it definitely wracks the inside of the
+
+thigh a little bit, a painful landing.
+
+TALIESIN: Can I try and push up into a handstand?
+
+MATT: You manage to do so, but it lacks the
+presentational and grace element of it. Make a
+
+performance check, but with disadvantage from the
+impact.
+
+LIAM: So when he crashes, right at that moment, I
+ask Schmidt to move the bucket three feet closer
+
+to us. Low to the ground.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I aid him– okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, natural 20. Oh, no, disadvantage.
+15.
+
+MATT: 15, okay. Still pretty good. So in spite of
+the (strained) impact, you slowly stagger back up
+
+to the top, balance yourself.
+
+TALIESIN: Up and flipping back up, and I’m going
+get the swords out. I’m going to start slowly
+
+working on moving down the fence, with both swords
+doing a spin and trying to actually get a little
+
+flip going. A little acrobatic–
+
+LIAM: Oh boy, another ten feet towards me.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll need you spotting, ‘cause I’m not
+great at this.
+
+MATT: All right, you’re turning it around. It’s
+starting to work into your advantage. As this is
+
+happening, Schmidt is slowly dragging, on its own,
+the Unseen Servant is dragging this bucket three
+
+feet at a time (scraping).
+
+MARISHA: I’m keeping watch for any workers who
+might be noticing the bucket.
+
+MATT: None seem to be noticing the bucket at the
+moment, but you do see about three or four that
+
+are looking over at this very colorful, flashy,
+performing, nearly wracked tiefling who is in the
+
+process of juggling swords in the air and doing a
+series of completely spontaneous performance art
+
+for no reason.
+
+MARISHA: Bravo. Bravo!
+
+MATT: You see two of the nearby workers start
+looking over confused, start talking to each
+
+other. You can hear the muttering. One of them
+runs off to one of the supervisor dwarves who’s
+
+about 80 to 100 feet off to go tell him what’s
+happening. He looks over and eventually you hear,
+
+as Schmidt is getting closer and closer, the
+bucket of tar is maybe 20 feet from the
+
+fence-line, and you hear a voice go, “Hey! Hey!
+What are you doing!? Get down from there! Get– go
+
+"on, get, get, get!”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to jump onto your shoulders
+now. So, I take a jump and try and land on the
+
+shoulders. Straight acrobatics?
+
+MATT: Straight acrobatics for this.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. You go away; I’m trying you.
+That’s a natural 20.
+
+ASHLEY: Ooh.
+
+MATT: (flipping) (impact) Landing right onto
+Yasha’s shoulders. She catches you there, and
+
+you’re still, from their perspective you jumped
+off of the fence and landed behind the fence, and are–
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to do a little side by side
+walking to make it look like he’s–
+
+TALIESIN: Sorry, you had a great fence, and we’re
+working on an act!
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s true.
+
+MARISHA: Nott, how close does Mage Hand have to
+be?
+
+SAM: It could go now, but we can’t go fast,
+they’ll see a moving bucket.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we don’t want it off the ground.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s nine.
+
+MATT: Nine, okay. It’s not that they don’t buy it, they’re just
+more caught off-guard by your presence, and not
+
+listening to the words you’re saying. The one
+supervisor who keeps rushing forward goes, “You
+
+"know, lad, you don’t have permission. Show me
+your–” At which point you see Cleff, looking
+
+nervously, steps forward and goes, “Hello there.
+Cleff Tinkertop, we’re all right. They’re with
+
+"me.” The dwarf comes to a slow jog, to a stop, and
+goes, “Cleff, what the fuck are you doing down
+
+"here?” Schmidt drags the bucket about 15 feet off
+to the side, and it is near the base of the fence.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ll cast Mage Hand.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Are people looking right now?
+
+MATT: Yes, they are looking.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: It’s about 15-20 feet to the left, but
+they’re currently focused on your group, which is
+
+gathered at the edge of the yard where they
+assemble all of their very powerful military
+
+weapons.
+
+TALIESIN: We should be at separate ends of the
+fence right now, because I made my way down the
+
+fence with Yasha.
+
+MATT: Right, so it was about 30 feet, we’ll say.
+So are you attempting to–
+
+SAM: I’m just going to wait until they finish
+their conversation.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+LIAM: I’ll try to edge it a little closer still.
+I’d like to get it near the fence, if I can.
+
+MATT: It’s actually right now, with that final
+scoot from Schmidt, it’s right up against the
+
+fence on the opposite side.
+
+LIAM: Okay, then I’m just going to wait for the
+right moment. Then I’ll have Schmidt lift it over
+
+his head, but not yet.
+
+MATT: Okay. At this point, the dwarf rushes up to
+the edge and peers through and goes, “So, strange
+
+"arrivals you got here, Cleff, and a couple of
+loonies diving off the outside of our very
+
+"well-protected fence, but sure. Cleff, what’s your
+business with these assholes?” He’s like, “We’re
+
+"making our way to try and make right some mistakes
+I’ve made, certainly, hopefully.” He glances through
+
+with a bit of a tightened gaze and goes, “All
+right. Well, just keep them off my fence.”
+
+TALIESIN: A lovely fence it is.
+
+MATT: Turns around and starts walking back to his
+post.
+
+SAM: As he starts walking, I’ll nod to Caleb and
+try to do the lift over the fence.
+
+LIAM: Oh, jeez, I go–
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check to see if you
+can make the right timing and do so swift enough
+
+to where nobody seems to notice.
+
+SAM: Sleight of hand? 22.
+
+MATT: With that, as soon as the dwarf turns around
+and all the rest of the workers go right back
+
+simultaneously, seeing that this encounter is
+over, turn back to their work. (whooshing) Without
+
+a sound, rises over the fence and is now at your
+disposal on the opposite end.
+
+SAM: Yeah!
+
+ASHLEY: Hopefully that will do something.
+
+SAM: We have a bucket of tar! Part one of our plan
+is complete.
+
+LIAM: That’s how you do it. You set them up, and
+knock them down.
+
+SAM: Look at that teamwork.
+
+MARISHA: It was pretty good.
+
+SAM: Yeah, everybody contributed a little. Except
+for Jester and Fjord, everyone was really good.
+
+TALISIN: When do they ever contribute, really?
+
+MATT: (laughter) Rissa goes, “All right, that’s the first
+part of it. What’s next?”
+
+ASHLEY: I guess we head to the prison.
+
+MARISHA: To the prison!
+
+SAM: Let’s put the tar bucket in the haversack of
+holding, if that’s possible. If it will fit.
+
+MARISHA: Will it tip over in the bag?
+
+MATT: She takes it and slowly puts it inside. It
+will fit in the larger one, so it slips inside the
+
+bag. She closes it. “Okay. Are you sure it won’t
+turn over?”
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: No.
+
+SAM: I don’t know.
+
+MATT: “I don’t want to ruin my bag.”
+
+TALIESIN: Then we don’t have to put it in. We’ll
+just carry it.
+
+MATT: “I paid good money for it, and it’s so
+pretty.”
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll carry it.
+
+SAM: Then we’re carrying a bucket of tar. Is that
+weird?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going in to kill a robot. It’s
+fine.
+
+SAM: All right. We’ll just carry it.
+
+TALIESIN: What else do you bring into a – What do
+they think we’re going to do with a bucket of tar?
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take it.
+
+MATT: Carefully hands it to Yasha.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s lean into it.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Rissa continues pushing you now away from
+the Assembly Yard, back into the Iron Lot, and
+
+towards the exterior of the Gearhold Prison.
+There, on the outside of this doorway, there’s
+
+about a dozen crownsguard, mostly gnomish, two
+human. It looks like they’re both currently
+
+decorated with a bit more detail, probably sent
+from the capital, or at least are given a little
+
+more of import to the outside of this guarding
+post. As you approach, you can see these large
+
+metal doors. There are two of them, and they open
+in the center, and there are a set of smaller
+
+doors built in the base of each of the sides. As
+you approach, some of the crownsguard look over
+
+curiously at this interesting, wayward group
+making their way towards the outside. Three of
+
+them begin to approach, and one of the humans in
+the more intricate crownsguard uniform approaches,
+
+throwing the cloak over his shoulder, and you can
+see his hand resting on the handle of his
+
+now-sheathed sword. “Hey, who goes there? What is
+your business?”
+
+MARISHA: We are a contracted group of workers,
+working for this man right here, Cleff. We’re here
+
+to take care of the problem that we heard you guys
+had with the clockwork warden.
+
+MATT: Cleff pulls the hood back a bit and goes,
+“Hello.” Guy takes a moment and looks. Make a
+
+persuasion check with advantage, because Cleff is
+helping you.
+
+SAM: Yeah. Persuasive Beau.
+
+MARISHA: I stole this die that I got you from
+forever ago. It’s got the little d20 inside of it.
+
+I’ll take the 12, for 13.
+
+MATT: The guard steps back a bit, looks you over.
+“All right. Hold tight a second, I’m going to
+
+"summon the warden. Just a moment.” He steps to one
+of the small doors that opens, and he disappears inside.
+
+SAM: How many doors are there?
+
+MATT: There’s the two large main doors, about 15
+feet tall, about 20 foot wide, and then there’s
+
+smaller doors, normal person-sized, almost
+gnomish-sized, doors built into it from that
+
+point. You actually watch as the human crownsguard
+has to duck a little bit to go through the smaller
+
+door frame. He’s gone for about five minutes or
+so, and then returns and says, “The Wardenhelm
+
+"would wish to speak to you, if you wouldn’t mind
+stepping inside. Don’t mind the escort; it’s
+
+"common business.”
+
+MARISHA: What did you say the warden’s name was?
+
+MATT: It’s Wardenhelm Poppin Drokrusher.
+
+MARISHA: Wardenhelm Poppin–
+
+MATT: Poppin Drokrusher.
+
+MARISHA: Drokrusher.
+
+TALIESIN: Poppin Drok– I won’t. I won’t speak.
+I’m not going to speak.
+
+MATT: He’s like, “Gnomish names.”
+
+TALIESIN: I feel that.
+
+MATT: At that point, you guys are led inside the
+dark interior. As soon as you step into the shadow
+
+of the entryway of this prison, you go from the
+industrial and somewhat colorless Iron Lot that
+
+you’ve been traveling through to this very
+low-lit, reddish, almost oxidized iron interior
+
+that is just shadow and torches. You can see these
+large support beams of metal put against the rock
+
+and stone that has been carved out of the interior
+of the mountain. It’s just one long hallway that
+
+splinters off into a number of hallways to the
+right and left before it reaches the outside of
+
+your current visual range to make any more detail
+out of it. At this point, as you enter, about five
+
+more of the crownsguard follow behind you and keep
+you all as a small pack traveling. At this point,
+
+he begins to move forward and gestures for you all
+to follow, saying, “This way.” Leads you down the
+
+hall, scooting to the right and heads to the right
+at the very first branching hallway of the
+
+interior of the prison. Heading further down,
+there’s a few doors that are open, and on the
+
+inside they appear to be empty, or there’s a few
+other guards. On the interior, you don’t see much
+
+in the way of crownsguard, you see a different
+type of guard. Similar garb, but more drab, and
+
+you get the sense that they’re– this is an
+internal prison guard, this isn’t part of the
+
+paid, trained, citywide guard. These are the
+interior Hupperdook prison guards. No more than
+
+maybe another 40 or so feet down, there’s a
+doorway that’s open that leads into an office. On
+
+the inside of this office, which itself is also
+super darkly lit, you see two ember torches that
+
+give this very dull red glow on the inside of the
+room, so it has this somewhat ominous and dreary
+
+interior presence to it as you step into this
+chamber. The desk is facing away from you, and
+
+there you see an older and grizzled gnome, who is
+in the process of wearing these series of robes
+
+and cloak over him with these gold-colored tassels
+and epaulets that shoot off the sides, seems to be
+
+giving out an air of station and importance, even
+though it’s just in the process of filing what
+
+looks to be either prison transfers or people that
+have been arrested and figuring out who’s to be
+
+put in here and why, or whose business is going to
+come to an end soon. He’s in the process of
+
+shuffling through papers before turning around to
+you and goes, “All right, so, you have come to my
+
+"prison.” Stands up and turns around to you,
+clicking his feet together as he does so at
+
+attention, arms crossed. “Hello. I’m the
+Wardenhelm Poppin. You have bothered me from my
+
+"work, and I would like to know why.” As you look
+at him, you can see his hair has receded almost
+
+entirely to the back, and what bits of clustered
+gray hair on the sides he’s currently attempted to
+
+slick and comb back, and one large part of it is
+trying to cover the massive bald spot, but as he
+
+spins around and talks to you, with any sort of
+movement it wobbles and has to settle itself back
+
+into place.
+
+TALIESIN: Beau–
+
+MARISHA: First off–
+
+TALIESIN: I tap Beau on the back and make her bow
+a little bit.
+
+MARISHA: You don’t have to– okay.
+
+MATT: “Respectful. I appreciate that.”
+
+TALIESIN: Pull her back up.
+
+MATT: Rissa has backed away to the doorway and is
+like– and doesn’t want any part in this.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Same, Rissa, same. We will not take
+up much of your time if you just let us in to go
+
+kill this clockwork warden that this guy made. We
+heard he was quite a problem. Just let us in;
+
+we’ll be out of your hair, and you can get back to
+your work.
+
+MATT: “Wait, what are you–” And he looks over
+towards the cloaked gnomish figure to the side.
+
+“What?”
+
+MARISHA: Remember this guy?
+
+MATT: He leans forward, and as the cloak is pulled
+back, Cleff reveals his face a bit. He goes,
+
+“Hello there. It’s been a while. How are you
+doing, Poppin?” He’s like, “Interesting riffraff
+
+"you’re bringing to my home this day.”
+
+MARISHA: Why do people keep calling us that?
+
+TALIESIN: To be fair, we are.
+
+MATT: “I was referring to Cleff! Cleff, why do you
+come and bother me with my day’s work? What do you
+
+"want? You’re saying something about your little
+mistake, your problem?”
+
+MARISHA: Look, this guy is funding to take care of
+the spinning death machine that’s in your guys’
+
+basement. This should be a city-funded issue, but
+this guy is being a good, noble citizen and
+
+funding it himself so we can come and make a quick
+buck and kill your death robot. Can we please just
+
+go kill your damn death robot?
+
+MATT: He looks at Cleff. “Is this true?” Cleff
+nods. “Actually, yes. I know it’s been a problem
+
+"for a while and I figured, about time I cleaned up
+that mess myself, if you don’t mind.” The
+
+Wardenhelm stops for a second and looks amongst
+the rest of you. “Right, okay. You have what
+
+"appears to be an interesting crew of exterminators
+you’ve brought to me. What do you want from me? I
+
+"assume you have come here for trade or for looking
+for some sort of recompense. I would like to know
+
+"what that is before we move further into this. No
+one steps inside here wishing to do us, how you
+
+"say? Charity work.”
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, of course. That makes perfect sense,
+and of course a man of your stature would be smart
+
+enough to know that such a thing is true. We,
+honestly– we will admit we may have a favor, a
+
+very minor favor, to ask if everything goes well
+and we do, in fact, survive this encounter. In
+
+return, also, we will be gathering very valuable
+data on how to defeat these sort of automatons,
+
+which will be put into your possession and would
+definitely help you deliver something that could
+
+help with the war effort. This sort of data could
+get back to the people in charge and help them
+
+defeat machines in the future. We’re trying new
+techniques, new ways to defeat these sort of automatons.
+
+MARISHA: You look like a man who’s willing to
+climb a ladder.
+
+TALIESIN: I think you could go far. We’d be happy
+to help.
+
+MARISHA: War is a great time for opportunity, my
+friend.
+
+TALIESIN: We may discuss, perhaps, if we can
+help– we have two friends who are currently in
+
+your system, and we would be more than happy to
+discuss a means of maybe resolving their issue
+
+with you. Not innocence, but just coming to a
+conclusion that is mutually agreeable.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check with advantage,
+with aiding from Beau and a very persuasive
+
+argument, actually.
+
+TALIESIN: Man, I love bullshitting.
+
+MARISHA: (laughs) High-fivesies from across the
+table.
+
+TALIESIN: Persuasion? God, please, for once in
+your miserable life. Oh man, eight.
+
+MATT: Oh, buddy.
+
+LIAM: Not life, just this campaign, Taliesin.
+
+TALIESIN: I know.
+
+MATT: “Well, perhaps we can discuss, but I would
+like to see possibly this deed you wish to do done
+
+"first. I do not wish to talk contracts with those
+who are about to die, if you know what I’m saying.”
+
+TALIESIN: Hardly waste your time.
+
+MARISHA: Who would?
+
+MATT: “Very well.” He looks past you to the escort
+of guards that have followed you in. “Lead them to
+
+"the subterranean sealed chamber. Allow them to
+encounter our issue, and should they survive,
+
+"return them to me with proof of the deed. Should
+they not survive, we will not speak of this ever
+
+"again. Good luck. I will be here waiting to hear
+of your successful endeavor. Now, leave me to my
+
+"work.” He goes and sits back down in his chair.
+
+SAM: We’re doing this now?
+
+TALIESIN: Of course we are. Anyone want the node?
+
+SAM: If I’m going to be throwing tar at this
+thing, maybe I should have it.
+
+TALIESIN: Or Caleb. Well, who’s going to be
+throwing –
+
+MARISHA: Who’s going to be throwing the tar? You
+with your Mage Hand, maybe?
+
+SAM: I could.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll heat it up. Caleb will heat it up,
+you’ll throw it in, and then I’ll be using some
+
+ice to try and cool the thing down once it’s in
+there.
+
+MARISHA: Yasha and I can try and pin it down,
+maybe corner it.
+
+TALIESIN: Once it starts opening up the armor,
+we’ll just go to that one particular plate and
+
+start ripping a hole in it.
+
+MARISHA: Start ripping the plates off.
+
+TALIESIN: Chopping the plates off.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Let’s heat that tar up before entering.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s get to the door, heat it up–
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll get through doors, set the node,
+set everything we need into action.
+
+MATT: Cleff and Rissa balk there as you guys are
+having this conversation. Rissa goes, “If it’s not
+
+"a problem, I’ll stay here with my dad and we’ll
+just wait to hear what happens. We’re not much in
+
+"the way of charging into the fray.”
+
+LIAM: Of course. You have tasked experts with this
+job.
+
+MATT: Of course. Cleff pushes past and goes, “But
+before you go, I just want once more to express my
+
+"extreme gratitude for your putting yourself out
+there for my well-being. A Tinkertop never forgets
+
+"these deeds, and should you return safely, I will
+be in your debt.” He bows and the cloak (thumps)
+
+onto the ground,and he goes, “Oh.” He picks it
+back up and bows a little less this time.
+
+MARISHA: Any last tips, Cleff?
+
+MATT: “Be careful?”
+
+MARISHA: That’s a good one.
+
+TALIESIN: What kind of feet does it have again?
+
+MATT: “Oh, it doesn’t have feet. It rolls.”
+
+TALIESIN: Ball bearings?
+
+MARISHA: Hamster ball.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll see. Slow it down. I don’t know,
+we’ll find out.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know.
+
+SAM: All right. So the guards will take us down?
+
+MATT: You guys currently have a group of six
+crownsguard from the outside and a couple of
+
+prison guards that will lead you there.
+
+TALIESIN: Tank this, and you’ll be all right. It’s
+just swords.
+
+ASHLEY: I want to get a good look at it, but this
+sounds like a fun challenge.
+
+TALIESIN: Fjord, you got a plan? Jester?
+
+MATT: Jester goes, “Well, don’t die, and if you
+fall over, I’ll try to get you not on the ground anymore.”
+
+SAM: She can’t. She’s out of spells.
+
+MATT: How is she out of spells? You guys took a
+long rest.
+
+SAM: Didn’t we use a bunch?
+
+TALIESIN: No, we took a long rest.
+
+MATT: She used two Locate Objects, I know that.
+
+SAM: Those are high-level spells.
+
+MATT: They’re 2nd-level, I think. Isn’t it?
+
+SAM: Okay. Does it say how many spells she has
+left?
+
+TALIESIN: It should.
+
+MATT: Yeah, Locate Object is 2nd-level.
+
+MARISHA: To be fair, I think we were going to
+rest, and we decided against it. We decided to go.
+
+SAM: Oh, it reset, but she definitely had used
+some.
+
+MARISHA: We know she used two–
+
+MATT: She’s used two 2nd-level spells.
+
+ASHLEY: She has used two 2nd-level spells?
+
+MATT: So we’ll mark those in there. If she had
+another, it’s fine. She’s not here to keep track.
+
+TALIESIN: Do we want her to have anything
+pre-cast? I don’t think Duplicity will matter, but
+
+maybe a Spiritual Weapon already called up?
+
+LIAM: Spiritual Weapon is a good idea.
+
+TALIESIN: Just have it already. Let’s–
+
+MATT: Well, it only lasts for a minute.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, then let’s wait then. All right.
+
+SAM: In case this all goes tits-up, do we want to
+try to talk to these guards and maybe figure out
+
+what cell the Schusters are in?
+
+TALIESIN: You’re welcome to try.
+
+SAM: I’m not talking to them. But someone with
+more charisma than me?
+
+TALIESIN: Certainly not me.
+
+MARISHA: Fjord’s literally the only one that can
+charm a guard. Unless we bribe a guard.
+
+LIAM: That is incorrect.
+
+SAM: Oh. Charming Caleb.
+
+LIAM: (clears throat) I can speak when I have to.
+
+MARISHA: Do some Suggestion stuff?
+
+SAM: I mean, is that worth doing now?
+
+LIAM: No I can just talk.
+
+TALIESIN: I mean, if we die, does it matter?
+
+SAM: No, but I mean if the warden doesn’t give us
+what we want.
+
+TALIESIN: We can talk to the guards on the way
+out.
+
+SAM: Okay. But we’re in the prison.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, but we’re going to be in the
+prison when we’re done.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: (laughs) Assuming we live.
+
+MATT: The guards have led you away from that end
+of the chamber, down the hall, back to the main
+
+hallway that enters deeper into the Gearhold
+Prison. Following that down for another 80 or so
+
+feet, that main open hallway comes to an end, and
+there are a number of other small hallways that
+
+protrude. The guards lead you down the one on the
+left. You can see two immediately that branch off
+
+on the far end of that main open way. That
+left-side pathway leads to a set of stairs that
+
+spirals down to a second floor. Then a third
+floor. Then a fourth floor. The fourth floor is
+
+the bottom of these stairs, and you’re now
+probably guessing, from the time it’s taken you to
+
+descend the spiral staircase, maybe an additional
+100 to 120 feet below the entrance and the actual
+
+level base of the mountain. At this point, you
+continue down a hallway and there are cells to
+
+your right and left. As you enter the space, the
+cells are very well-fortified, and behind the
+
+bars, in the dark, dark red ember-like torchlight
+that faintly glows and lights elements of this
+
+hallway, as you continue down, you can see shapes,
+humanoid shapes locked behind bars, of all shapes
+
+and sizes. As you begin to pass one on the right,
+you watch as a figure lurches up to the bars,
+
+pushes up to the edge, and what faint bit of red
+light you can see illuminating a face that looks
+
+scarred by a large, heavy clawmark down one side,
+the eye glued shut from the healing process. You
+
+see this toothy, rotten grin underneath as a nasty
+smell of breath emanates from its heavy breathing,
+
+and as you pass by, it says, “Hey. Are you going
+to come back, are you? Where are you going? Where
+
+"are you going? Come back!” And you walk past. One
+of the guards takes their shortsword and clangs it
+
+across the metal and goes, “Keep back, keep back.”
+
+TALIESIN: Mr. Schuster, you look terrible! I yell
+very loud to see if anybody responds to the name.
+
+MATT: To what name?
+
+TALIESIN: Mr. Schuster.
+
+MATT: Schuster? Okay. You listen. Make a
+perception check.
+
+SAM: Yeah, sure.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that’s a 15.
+
+MATT: Okay. You listen out, and you hear a few
+voices chuckle and some shifting of people that
+
+are now making their way to the front of the cell
+to see what this arriving group of strangers is,
+
+but nothing out of the expected ordinary reacting
+to that name.
+
+TALIESIN: Worth a shot.
+
+MATT: A few other figures push their way to the
+face, and you can see men and women, you can see
+
+decrepit half-elves that look poorly nourished.
+You can see humans that look like they’ve smeared
+
+themselves with their own foul excrement. You can
+see a whole nature of people that are in the
+
+process of dealing with being locked down here in
+the subterranean basement level of this prison.
+
+And then, at the end, you come to what looks to be
+an iron door that is currently sealed shut, with
+
+what looks to be rung after rung after rung of
+chains pulled through, across bars, locked with
+
+three padlocks.
+
+MARISHA: Is this the door?
+
+MATT: The main guard sitting there goes, “Aye, it
+is.” He pulls out a ring of keys.
+
+TALIESIN: When’s the last time you opened it?
+
+MATT: “When we sealed it.”
+
+ASHLEY: Which was–?
+
+MATT: “About a little over two years ago.”
+
+MARISHA: How big is this chamber in here?
+
+MATT: “It leads down, splits in the middle, and
+has two more sets of cells in the back side.”
+
+MARISHA: Splits in the middle, two more sets of
+cells on the back side. So it looks like a big
+
+fork. Does it have a common way? Or is this thing
+patrolling halls?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know.”
+
+LIAM: And what will happen when we go inside here?
+Are you locking us in?
+
+MATT: “Damn right.”
+
+TALIESIN: Until we knock on the door, I imagine.
+
+LIAM: Until which.
+
+MATT: With that, one latch, and one lock comes
+free, pulls it off, and hands it to the guard.
+
+SAM: I’m going to look at the–
+
+MATT: Second lock, comes free.
+
+SAM: –the dodecahedron while we’re at it.
+
+MATT: You take a moment to concentrate on it.
+
+MARISHA: Should we heat up the tar?
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s heat up the tar.
+
+LIAM: Okay Nott, can you lift that thing up for
+me?
+
+SAM: Lift?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll hold it since you’re doing the
+thing.
+
+SAM: Oh, sure.
+
+LIAM: Well, it’s going to scald the bejeezus out
+of your hands if I–
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ll use Mage Hand to hold it up.
+
+TALIESIN: I also have immunity to flame, so, or
+not quite immunity, but I don’t really mind flame.
+
+LIAM: Well, I could semi-burn your hands, or not
+burn Nott’s make-believe one.
+
+SAM: Yeah, I’ll hold it with my Mage Hand.
+
+MATT: All right. So with that, the bucket of tar
+is now being held aloft from the floating,
+
+spectral Mage Hand that Nott is controlling.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll probably need some light in here,
+too.
+
+MARISHA: So, he can cast two spells; they have to
+be at third level.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+MARISHA: And his cantrips are– So if he casts
+Armor of Agathys, it’s going to take up one
+
+of his levels.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+MARISHA: And Hex would be another one?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+LIAM: Everybody back away from this bucket. And I
+crackle my hands and send a Fire Bolt at the
+
+bottom of it.
+
+MATT: All right. So being careful not to destroy
+the bucket itself, which, while it is made of
+
+metal, you’re uncertain of its structural
+integrity, but you do focus on a little, slow burn
+
+of this flame, controlling the Fire Bolt to be a
+gradual burn. As you do, you watch as the metal
+
+iron of the bottom of this bucket begin to heat to
+a dull orange, into a brighter orange. And after a
+
+few moments of concentrating, you can see a faint
+(bubbling). The tar seems to be heating and to a
+
+fairly more liquidy consistency than its rather
+cold and more solid form that you found it in.
+
+TALIESIN: Excellent.
+
+LIAM: That is the most relaxed that spell has ever
+gone.
+
+MATT: (laughs) At which point the third lock comes
+off. The guards begin pulling the chains through
+
+the various loops until eventually the door is
+exposed, (creaking) opens. And on the inside,
+
+there’s a few steps that descend into what looks
+to be a double door beyond that. One of the doors
+
+is partially opened and it is darkness with a
+faint red glow beyond that.
+
+MARISHA: This place is creepy as shit.
+
+TALIESIN: I turn to one of the guards. Is there
+any light in there, or are we going to need to
+
+bring our own?
+
+MATT: “There’s probably some light, but it
+wouldn’t hurt to bring your own, especially for
+
+"that one.” And points to Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Yasha, could I borrow a torch from you?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, of course.
+
+LIAM: So your hands are free to work.
+
+ASHLEY: Yes. Good idea. Here.
+
+LIAM: Danke.
+
+MARISHA: Fjord’s going to cast Armor of Agathys on
+himself.
+
+MATT: So as Fjord touches the front of his chest
+armor, you watch as the cold air solidifies,
+
+getting this mist and bits of ice crystal
+protruding from his leather armor.
+
+MARISHA: Hope that is a good call. What would
+Fjord do? And Beau puts on her goggles.
+
+MATT: You got it.
+
+MARISHA: (like Fjord) Eldritch Blast.
+
+MATT: As all of you are ushered past the metal
+door, the guards all gather on the opposite side,
+
+and the lead guard of the unit goes, “Very well.
+May the Platinum Dragon guide you.” Closes the
+
+door and you hear the chains on the opposite side
+being locked, as you all turn back, looking down
+
+the six or seven feet of descending stairs before
+it levels into the double doors, partially opened
+
+and the darkness beyond. And that’s where we’re
+going to take a quick break.
+
+SAM: Ah! Oh, but we were about to fight.
+
+MATT: Well, we’re going to dive into that, just
+because if we go into a battle, it might take a
+
+little while. We’ll take the break now, before
+that, and then we can dive into it immediately as
+
+we return.
+
+LIAM: Let’s try diplomacy.
+
+MATT: Perfect. Shiny blade balls are easy to talk
+to.
+
+MARISHA: Dear spinning death machine.
+
+TALIESIN: Fantasmagoria. I’m definitely having
+some, yeah.
+
+MATT: All righty, guys. So, we’ll be back here in
+a few minutes, we’re going to take a five or ten
+
+minute break to get ourselves comfy, (like Rissa) “food,
+water, and other releases of functions.”
+
+MARISHA: Thanks, Rissa.
+
+MATT: And we’ll see you guys here in just a
+moment, so hang tight in the chat if you want to.
+
+We’ll have a couple of fun videos to watch, and
+once again, if you haven’t seen the Kickstarter of
+
+these awesome minis, you can go to critrole.com
+for all that information. They have the links
+
+there to the Kickstarter. The guys at Steamforged
+have done an amazing job and we hope you like
+
+them. All right, we’ll see you here in a few
+minutes.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: And welcome back. Wow.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Wow indeed.
+
+MATT: Indeed. So welcome back. Coming back into
+the game. You have all descended down and reached
+
+the double doors, partially open, and stepped
+quietly into the interior chamber of this sealed
+
+portion of the Gearhold Prison. There is what
+looks like a faint flicker of those same
+
+ember-light torches that give off faint bits of
+red glow, but a number the walls seem to have been
+
+damaged. Actually, as you step inside, you get a
+quick look. The doors that are behind you and the
+
+walls around you are scraped and gashed from
+hundreds and hundreds of blade marks. It looks
+
+like whatever in here has spent a lot of time
+grinding around and looking of a means of escape
+
+or patrolling with its blades out over and over
+again. Parts of the walls have fallen in a bit and
+
+there is rubble in areas where it’s starting to
+erode away the interior of this sealed chamber.
+
+But everywhere you look: to the right, left, and
+along the ground all you see are hundreds and
+
+hundreds of blade-like grooves in the stone.
+
+SAM: That’s not good.
+
+ASHLEY: This is as, you know, I’ve heard the kids
+say these days: Creepy AF.
+
+TALIESIN: Actually, it’s got eyes and not ears, I
+don’t think. When we saw the blueprints was there
+
+any way for it to detect sound or was it all
+visual?
+
+MATT: Without your massive intelligence roll, you
+weren’t able to discern that information, unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+MARISHA: (whispering) I’m going to assume yes. Hey
+Jester! (cooing)
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s pretend we’re whispering.
+
+MARISHA: (cooing) Okay. Maybe Pass Without a
+Trace, Jester? (cooing)
+
+TALIESIN: We can do that. Let’s cast Pass Without
+a Trace. I’m going to light up my sword.
+
+MATT: That is a 2nd-level spell, if I recall.
+
+TALIESIN: That would be our last 2nd-level spell.
+Wait, let’s–
+
+MARISHA: Maybe not.
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe not Pass Without a Trace, because
+once it sees us it doesn’t matter anymore.
+
+So let’s not do that yet.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Nevermind. Keep going.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to light up my swords.
+
+MATT: Both of them?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, with ice.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: That brings me down to 49 hit points, so
+that’s fun. Wow, that’ll be a lot of fun. That’s
+
+thrilling. There’s a door over there. Do you want
+to sneak over and see?
+
+SAM: Sure. I’ll sneak over to the door and try to
+unlock it.
+
+MATT: Over here?
+
+SAM: Or see if it’s locked.
+
+MATT: All right. It is a set of prison bars. There
+is a gate that is currently locked. The bars
+
+themselves, once again, you can see rows and rows
+of gashes and scrapes across the metal. They’re
+
+bowed in a bit from impacts repeatedly. It’s
+slightly bent inward. You can attempt to pick a
+
+lock, if you’d like.
+
+SAM: I’ll pick a lock.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll. That’s proficiency bonus
+plus dexterity.
+
+SAM: That’s is a 14.
+
+MATT: A 14. (clicking) It’s not triggering the
+lock. These are not easy locks to get through.
+
+They’re designed to hold prisoners, unfortunately,
+so they’re fairly hardy locks. You spend a while
+
+with it and are unable to hit those tumblers. It
+looks like it’s not going to open. Make a
+
+perception check as you’re looking through the
+bars.
+
+SAM: Four.
+
+LIAM: I sneak up behind Nott.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+LIAM: (whispering) I can open this if you need me
+to. I just like to save my shit.
+
+SAM: I don’t know what’s in it. I can’t see
+anything through it, can I?
+
+MATT: Not with that perception roll, no. You see
+bits of rock. You see some cloth on the ground, that’s it.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, maybe save your shit for
+afterwards.
+
+LIAM: Also if I were to unlock it, it would be
+loud, so that’s not good.
+
+TALIESIN: Can we put some light in there and maybe
+take a look at what’s in there?
+
+SAM: What’s in that room?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. Since we have an orb up, don’t we?
+No, we have a torch.
+
+MATT: Yasha, you have the torch right? No, Caleb
+has the torch.
+
+TALIESIN: Caleb, you want to use the torch to take
+a look in there, maybe? I’m keeping an eye through
+
+this hallway and I think I’m going to slowly start
+scooting.
+
+MATT: Start scooting this way?
+
+TALIESIN: But against the wall.
+
+SAM: What an amazing mini.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+MATT: Yeah. These are the painted prototypes to
+give you a little bit of a glance of what these
+
+will look like. There are a few changes for the
+final designs, of course, but these will give you
+
+an idea. All righty. There’s Molly on that side.
+Caleb, as you hold the torch up at the bars and
+
+look through, make a perception check with
+advantage. As you’re following off Nott’s lead and
+
+it’s small chamber, you can make out quite a bit
+of detail.
+
+LIAM: Oh, that’s good. 19.
+
+MATT: Good. Glancing inside, you see that whatever
+scrape marks that mar the interior of this main
+
+chamber, there are none within this cell. Whatever
+this creature, this Gearkeeper construct is, it
+
+did not manage to breach these gates. However, on
+the opposite side you see three different bed
+
+set-ups for prisoners. Some that seem, either they
+were trying to claw their way out, or the impact
+
+of slamming on the other walls caused bits of it
+to fall in and collapse. There are piles of stone
+
+and fallen earth on the other side. You see three
+skeletons. They look like they’ve been decomposing
+
+for quite some time. Probably prisoners that
+couldn’t escape, and had no other way out.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s sucks.
+
+SAM: That’s rough.
+
+LIAM: Okay, we can check this off our list,
+probably. There are some dead inmates in here.
+
+SAM: If the thing comes out here we’re all dead so
+we should probably figure out a way to stop it.
+
+TALIESIN: We can all get in that room if we have
+to.
+
+SAM: All right, but I can’t open it.
+
+MARISHA: Normally you don’t want to get trapped in
+a room with something bigger and spinning with
+
+12 blades. I think we’d be better off holding
+this choke point.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s the hope, but we have these other
+options over here. Is there anything I can see
+
+from my perspective, from where I’m standing right
+now?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TALIESIN: I knew you’d say that. That’s a 16.
+
+MATT: Your dark vision is 60 feet correct? You can
+just make out the details of another interior
+
+chamber. Looking within, portions of the walls
+inside are also equally scraped apart. Edges of
+
+the fine, well-set stonework have been marred with
+repeated gashes all over. It looks like beyond
+
+that there was another prison cell, but those bars
+have been breached, as they are currently bent,
+
+gnarled, and twisted and pulled out of place. The
+cell beyond it appears to be open.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to move up and go to the
+opposite side of where Molly is and peek down the
+
+opposite way, just like he did.
+
+MATT: Anybody else moving anywhere?
+
+LIAM: While people are moving around the room I
+whisper: Just for our options here. If we want to
+
+kick this off and don’t mind getting its
+attention, I can magically unlock this door here,
+
+which will make a sound, and then instantly lock
+it. If we wanted to, we could all hustle inside
+
+here, and maybe attack at range? Just as an
+option.
+
+SAM: Does the door have holes?
+
+MATT: The door is open but there are bars on
+this.
+
+SAM: That’s not a door, it’s just a cage.
+
+MATT: Yes, and it’s partially bent inward from the
+impact. It looks like it sustained quite a bit of
+
+brunt force to it over time.
+
+LAIM: That would put Beau and Yasha at a
+disadvantage, but the rest of us could take pot
+
+shots at it from in here.
+
+MARISHA: You know, I like that idea. Maybe Yasha
+and I can stand and hide and crouch in the corners
+
+while you guys get its attention and shoot it from
+range. What I would be afraid of is if we were all
+
+in there, and it eventually did what it did to
+those bars over there, and busted in. And we were
+
+all sitting ducks on the inside.
+
+LIAM: Well I could be wrong, but with what I know
+how to do, I don’t think it can do that to this
+
+door, for a short amount of time.
+
+MARISHA: It looks like it–
+
+TALIESIN: Do you have a plan?
+
+LIAM: Well, I’m talking about magic. I can
+magically seal this door. Unless it has a way to
+
+deal with that, it will not be able to get
+through.
+
+SAM: That’s pretty good. Let’s move quickly,
+though.
+
+MATT: Make an intelligence check, Caleb, if you
+don’t mind.
+
+LIAM: That is 15.
+
+MATT: 15. Okay. You were referring. I believe, to
+the spell Arcane Lock, right?
+
+LIAM: “Impassable until it is broken, or the spell
+is dispelled or suppressed.”
+
+MATT: Yep. It can still be forced open; it’s just
+a higher DC to do so. It’s possible, but it makes
+
+it a much harder door to break through.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: You have a valid point to what you’re
+saying, yes.
+
+MARISHA: Can I still complete my perception check
+and see if I see down here?
+
+MATT: Go for it. Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Not great. Seven.
+
+MATT: Seven? Unfortunately, even with your
+darkvision, it’s hard to look past that way. You
+
+can see another chamber. At your current vantage
+point, it’s a little bit out of the way. It looks
+
+like there’s not enough information. You’d have to
+get a little closer to make out the details.
+
+MARISHA: Is there anything that would warrant a
+couple people hiding while some people got in the
+
+thing? Is there something that looks like Yasha
+and I could maybe hide? I’m a little disadvantage
+
+looking at this angle.
+
+MATT: There are some piles of rubble and portions
+of the walls that have collapsed inwards.
+
+TALIESIN: So you can get up and get a little
+height if you want and we can also–
+
+SAM: If we went inside that room, though–
+
+TALIESIN: Those with range.
+
+SAM: The creature would probably give up and go
+back into hiding until we came out, I would assume.
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe, maybe not. Maybe it would keep
+pounding until you died.
+
+MARISHA: You could still Mage Hand the tar between
+the bars, right?
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s try it!
+
+TALIESIN: We don’t even have to put the tar
+inside, it could be outside.
+
+MARISHA: That’s what I’m saying. Caleb, can you
+lift that gate spell if we need to get back out?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, instantly.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, Yasha, we’re going to be on
+the outside, then?
+
+ASHLEY: Yep.
+
+SAM: That’s scary and dangerous.
+
+TALIESIN: This is scary and dangerous work.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, are you and Yasha going to be on
+the outside?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, we don’t have any range.
+
+MARISHA: Neither do I.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re going to be on the outside too. I
+thought we’d put all the ranged people in there
+
+and draw its attention to attack them, and then
+while it’s there we can all gang up on it.
+
+ASHLEY: Three Amigos?
+
+SAM: It’s a terrible idea, but go for it.
+
+MATT: So, what are you guys doing?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, let’s do it.
+
+LIAM: So you bruisers, you’re staying out here?
+
+MARISHA: But we’re going to hide amongst this
+rubble on the opposite side and you guys are going to start.
+
+MATT: Yasha, where are you moving to?
+
+ASHLEY: We’re going to hide behind the rubble.
+
+MATT: Right here?
+
+ASHLEY: And Beau as well.
+
+MATT: Beau, you’re moving over here as well?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Can I get up on top of the rubble
+and crouch down?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to attempt to hide in the
+corner.
+
+MATT: It’s going to be hard to hide and climb it
+as well. We can do about there, as good as we can get, there.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, Yasha, before I forget, I got you
+something.
+
+ASHLEY: You did?
+
+TALIESIN: I hand her one of the silk flowers from
+the festival. It doesn’t press well, but, you know.
+
+ASHLEY: It is going to be very special. Thank you,
+Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Got for you if we live.
+
+MATT: Molly, are you staying there?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. I’m going to stay super crouched.
+
+SAM: Does Jester have her Spiritual Weapon out?
+
+MATT: She doesn’t yet.
+
+SAM: Okay. Maybe we should get it ready.
+
+LIAM: Wait.
+
+SAM: Wait, what?
+
+LIAM: I do not have the components I need for
+Arcane Lock. Damn it.
+
+MARISHA: What do you need?
+
+LIAM: A lot of gold dust.
+
+MARISHA: A lot of gold dust?
+
+SAM: We can make some, right now!
+
+MARISHA: I know! Can we grind some gold really
+fast? File some?
+
+SAM: Quietly!
+
+MARISHA: Quietly file down gold coins?
+
+SAM: All right, well, plan B.
+
+ASHLEY: Plan B. That’s fine.
+
+SAM: Do you want me to scout ahead to the area
+that you’ve seen?
+
+TALIESIN: Or the cat.
+
+SAM: Or the cat, yes. How about the cat goes to
+the area where Molly has seen. Which, Liam, for
+
+you, is the bottom left of the picture I sent
+you.
+
+MATT: So where are you sending Frumpkin?
+
+LIAM: Into the last unexplored room.
+
+SAM: No, this is the one that–
+
+TALIESIN: The first unexplored room.
+
+SAM: The first explored room, that Molly has seen
+a little bit of.
+
+LIAM, Sorry. I was looking at my spellbook and not
+paying attention to you lot. What were you
+
+hoping me to do?
+
+SAM: Send the cat.
+
+TALIESIN: Sending the cat to take a look–
+
+MARISHA: Scout with the cat. Kitty scout.
+
+TALIESIN: This may be the end of the cat.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay. I’m going to back as far away
+from that door as I can, and I will send Frumpkin in.
+
+MATT: Moving back in the corner with Beau and
+Yasha. Right about there, we’ll say.
+
+LIAM: Ladies.
+
+MATT: You begin to focus and Frumpkin heads to the
+right side of the fork into the chamber you’ve
+
+already looked into, towards the open cell doors
+that are currently pried off that archway. As
+
+Frumpkin glances past, make a stealth check for
+Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: Yep. Oh. I don’t have the cat paper with me
+in this state that I’m in, because I didn’t know
+
+I’d be playing.
+
+MATT: That’s okay.
+
+LIAM: So I rolled a 15.
+
+MATT: Rolled a 15? Okay.
+
+LIAM. Yeah. Let’s go with that.
+
+TALIESIN: 15 plus cat.
+
+MATT: All right. Frumpkin glances inside this
+busted cell and sees– what I’m using as an
+
+interpretation of– a large spherical metal object
+that’s about eight feet diameter on any side. It
+
+looks like a series of overlapping metal plates
+that look clustered together at odd angles.
+
+Elements of it look scraped and dented. It looks
+like it’s been doing some serious damage to it
+
+over time. As it sits there, resting, and Frumpkin
+approaches, you watch one of the tiny little metal
+
+plates (squeak) open, a lens pokes out towards
+Frumpkin, withdraws back in. The plate closes and
+
+about six of these long blade-like spider legs
+stick out of it as it pulls back and begins to
+
+roll forward at a very extreme pace.
+
+LIAM: I snap Frumpkin out of there.
+
+MATT: It rolls forward. Frumpkin just manages to
+bamf out of this dimension as the object slams
+
+into the opposite wall. You guys feel the entire
+chamber suddenly (crash) from the impact and you
+
+hear this scraping of metal in the distance.
+
+SAM: I’m going to re-cast Mage Hand and pick up
+the bucket of tar.
+
+MATT: It rolls across the way and disappears into
+the other chamber.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to stealthily move forward,
+back where I was across from Molly.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a stealth check, please.
+
+MARISHA: Jesus Christ. This just got really–
+
+TALIESIN: I have an interesting idea.
+
+MATT: Nott, where do you want to go?
+
+SAM: Towards the narrower hallway.
+
+MATT: Here?
+
+SAM: Yeah, just on the edge of it. Do I hear any
+movement or anything?
+
+MATT: You do hear the same object shifting on the
+other side.
+
+MARISHA: 15.
+
+MATT: 15? Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Oh no.
+
+MATT: Nott, as you’re there at the edge, and
+Beau’s there. You glance in, now that you guys are
+
+close enough you can see shifting in there. You
+pay attention and you can see this other chamber
+
+is open with another cell off to the side. It
+slams into that door, spins around, and one of the
+
+lenses peeks around the corner right at where Beau
+had just moved into the far corner.
+
+TALIESIN: Jester is going to cast her Spiritual
+Weapon and put it right in the center of–
+
+SAM: The room?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. A big nice shiny object to
+distract.
+
+MATT: Where’s Fjord going? Because we’re about to
+go into combat.
+
+TALIESIN: Are we all pulling against the walls?
+
+MARISHA: Where is Fjord going? Make Fjord go by
+the gate, maybe. Back a bit. Then Beau is going to
+
+take out those ball bearings.
+
+ASHLEY: Can we put Jester in the corner?
+
+MATT: Jester can back up there.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s not kill our friends’ D&D
+characters.
+
+MATT: I need all of you to roll initiative.
+
+MARISHA: If we still have a bit of an action, I’m
+going to toss my bag of ball bearings and try and
+
+throw a bunch of ball bearings right here.
+
+LIAM: Sam, can you take a new picture and send it
+to me?
+
+MATT: You throw the ball bearings out clattering.
+As that happens, the legs, which are still out,
+
+rear backward and they retract as it runs itself
+rolling forward in your direction, ricocheting off
+
+that wall. The ball bearings, as it grinds across
+the bottom, get fired off like small impact
+
+bullets from the grinding of the metal plates and
+the force of it hitting. I need both Nott and Beau
+
+to make dexterity saving throws.
+
+SAM: Oh god! Save? 21.
+
+MATT: 21.
+
+MARISHA: Oh wait, not with advantage, or no?
+
+MATT: Not with advantage. Just a single roll.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, 18 then.
+
+MATT: You guys both manage to just duck out of the
+way, they don’t seem to hit you. It’s only a
+
+handful of them that upon the impact of it hitting
+stone and being pressured beneath, they shoot off
+
+in your direction.
+
+MARISHA: Molly, ball bearings didn’t work! Rolling
+for initiative?
+
+MATT: Initiative rolls, guys. Roll for yourself,
+Beau, and then roll for Jester and Fjord as well.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll roll for Jester.
+
+MARISHA: I’m rolling for Fjord.
+
+MATT: 25 to 20?
+
+MARISHA: Hang on.
+
+TALIESIN: So fucked.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry. Another person’s character.
+
+MATT: 25 to 20 anybody? 20 to 15?
+
+ASHLEY: 19.
+
+SAM: Whoa! Who are you?
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t know! But I don’t know what to do
+this early on.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s going to be a lot of dodging.
+
+MATT: 15 to ten?
+
+MARISHA: Fjord is 14. Beau is ten.
+
+MATT: All right. Ten to five?
+
+SAM: Seven.
+
+LIAM: Six.
+
+TALIESIN: Seven for me as well. And Jester is
+six.
+
+MATT: Caleb and Jester are in the same–
+
+SAM: Caleb and Jester are six, Molly and Nott are
+both seven.
+
+MATT: Seven, got it! Top of the round, as you see
+it come riding and curve around the corner and
+
+slam into that wall, the stone bends inward even
+further and bits of the masonry flake and fall off
+
+to the ground, clattering and small bits of stone.
+It turns, and you can see now the six spider-like
+
+blade legs sticking out of it. Six more shoot out
+of the top of it, and all begin whirling around
+
+and begin spinning. There, amongst this chaos, you
+see the lens sitting right there, just barely
+
+peeking through its armored shell. Yasha, you’re
+up first.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I would like to rage.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s the time. Do I just go in?
+
+SAM: This is it.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I get to it?
+
+MATT: (counting) You just barely get into its
+range with your barbarian speed. You rush in,
+
+anger on your face. You draw your Magician’s Judge
+blade in the air.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh no.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you have advantage?
+
+ASHLEY: I didn’t reckless. 11.
+
+MATT: 11, unfortunately, does not hit. Your blade
+scrapes across its armored exterior, not finding
+
+purchase in any of its innards.
+
+ASHLEY: Divine Fury, can you do it on the first or
+only if the first–
+
+MATT: The first attack that hits.
+
+ASHLEY: That first attack that hits.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I use my extra attack?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you get that every round.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s better. That’s 21.
+
+MATT: 21 hits! Roll damage.
+
+SAM: This is it.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re so fucked.
+
+SAM: Kick it in the ball!
+
+ASHLEY: Okay! 12.
+
+MATT: You roll 2d6 for the weapon, 3d6 for the
+Divine Fury. Oh no, it’s additional half your level.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. Plus three. It’s 2d6 plus three.
+
+MATT: 2d6 plus three, right?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. So 12.
+
+MATT: 12, and then your rage damage, which is
+two.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh right! Yeah, 14.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it Divine Fury still?
+
+ASHLEY: No, because that’s only the first.
+
+MATT: Well no, it’s the first attack that hit.
+That’s what I’m saying. You get Divine Fury for
+
+this hit because your first one hit, this one does
+get it.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay! So an extra d6. Oops. Okay, an extra
+two. So 16 total.
+
+MATT: Okay. With that–
+
+SAM: Clang!
+
+MATT: The first strikes off. The second one you
+bring down. The blade carves down and one of its
+
+metal arms bends off to the side. The blade digs
+into the gears. Yasha’s blade finds its way in.
+
+Sparks go streaking off and the blade gets
+jettisoned off. You have to hold it before it gets
+
+shot off the side of it, the clockwork pushing it
+out of its innards. The armor plate clicks over
+
+and guards its space.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. I’ll stay.
+
+TALIESIN: Did it lose a blade just now?
+
+MATT: It looks like it’s bent back a bit. That
+ends Yasha’s turn. Fjord is up next.
+
+SAM: Yeah, Fjord!
+
+MARISHA: Fjord’s going to cast Hex!
+
+TALIESIN: Hex, ma’am!
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to Hex that “robit.”
+
+TALIESIN: Hex the “robit.”
+
+MATT: The “robit” is a-hexed.
+
+MARISHA: Hang on, wait. That doesn’t– no. It
+doesn’t mess with Armor of Agathys, just checking.
+
+MATT: You have a concentration on Fjord for this.
+
+MARISHA: This is Hex. Then he’s going to take his
+falchion, he’s going to flip it, and from the
+
+hilt, he’s going to go (firing). He’s going to
+cast Eldritch Blast because I saw him do that once before.
+
+MATT: Like a from-the-hip-shotgun. I like it.
+
+MARISHA: He did it before. I’m ripping it off from
+Travis.
+
+MATT: That’s two shots. Fire twice.
+
+MARISHA: Pew pew! 15? Seven plus eight.
+
+MATT: Seven plus eight, 15? You fire, the blast
+hits and disperses against the armor. It does not hit.
+
+MARISHA: Right, that magic shit. He’s going to try
+it one more time. That bounced. Okay, that’s
+
+better. 13 plus seven.
+
+MATT: 20? 20 does hit. Roll a d10 plus four plus
+another d6 for Hex. Not a d4, plus four damage to
+
+whatever you roll on the d10.
+
+MARISHA: I’m sorry. Me don’t know how. Six, sorry.
+Five plus four is nine damage.
+
+SAM: Plus three from?
+
+MARISHA: No, that’s it. I rolled a three and a two
+plus a four. It’s not a lot of damage. I rolled crappy.
+
+MATT: The second one does manage to pierce some of
+its armor. Within the interior of it, there’s a
+
+flash of green on the inside. You see it curl
+around from the interior, looking like cracks in
+
+the armor are suddenly glowing and then no more.
+That finishes Fjord’s action and bonus action.
+
+MARISHA: What did you roll to hit?
+
+ASHLEY: Say again?
+
+MARISHA: What did you roll to hit?
+
+ASHLEY: Rolled a 21.
+
+MARISHA: 21. So we know 20 hits.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+MARISHA: Now, Beauregard–
+
+MATT: Is Fjord going to stay where he is?
+
+MARISHA: Yes, because I’m scared. Beau is going
+to–
+
+MATT: Beau doesn’t go yet because it’s now the
+Gearkeeper’s turn.
+
+MARISHA: I’m sorry.
+
+MATT: That’s okay.
+
+MARISHA: I didn’t know.
+
+MATT: That’s all right.
+
+SAM: The Gearkeeper.
+
+MATT: Beginning of its turn, it’s going to attempt
+to roll over Yasha to go into the chamber. Yasha,
+
+you need to make an athletics or acrobatics
+check.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.
+
+MATT: You’re raging, so you have advantage on your
+acrobatics check.
+
+TALIESIN: That athletics is already sweet,
+though.
+
+ASHLEY: Oof. Oh. Nine.
+
+MATT: No. First off, you suffer–
+
+ASHLEY: I rolled the wrong ones.
+
+MATT: Seven points of piercing damage as it rolls
+over and the blades kick into you.
+
+ASHLEY: Is that halved because I’m raging?
+
+MATT: It is halved. An additional three points of
+bludgeoning damage as you are crushed beneath its
+
+weight, and you are knocked prone.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s a total of– you said three and–
+I’m sorry.
+
+MATT: It was seven before three. So it’ll be ten
+halved, so you take five points of damage.
+
+ASHLEY: Five points of damage, okay.
+
+MATT: It does roll past here, stopping at this
+point. It’d be about here, I think. As it spins in
+
+this direction, the things that drew its attention
+originally, which is Beau and Nott in that corner.
+
+Nott, you do get an attack of opportunity with a
+melee weapon, if you have one, but you
+
+have your crossbow out?
+
+SAM: I probably have my crossbow out.
+
+MATT: So yeah, you don’t do much of an attack
+there.
+
+SAM: I’ll hit it with my crossbow.
+
+MATT: Roll an attack. Improvised weapon for a
+melee.
+
+SAM: Yeah. 18.
+
+MATT: 18 just hits.
+
+MARISHA: 18 is what hits, y’all!
+
+SAM: Do I get a point of damage?
+
+MATT: You get a point of damage on it.
+
+SAM: Yeah! Eat it!
+
+MATT: Your hand crossbow, as you slam into it, you
+look back and it looks like some of the wood is
+
+splintered somewhat. You’re like, “Oh.” It’s not
+enough to the point where it looks like it’s not
+
+going to function, maybe, but it’s going to need
+some repairs.
+
+SAM: I need a new crossbow, is what I need.
+
+MATT: Well, there you go. As it turns around, the
+front of it, where the lens is, the lens retracts
+
+in. The plates in front suddenly open, leaving
+this open, black, vacuous space, like a mouth or a
+
+gate, opens in front. You hear this very high,
+whirring, winding sound. You see sparks inside,
+
+and a blast of heated shrapnel shoots outward in a
+30 foot spray.
+
+SAM: It can do that?!
+
+MATT: Against both of you, right there.
+
+SAM: Cleff, you madman.
+
+MATT: I need you both to make a dexterity saving
+throw, please.
+
+SAM: Oh, rough. 12.
+
+MARISHA: That’s not too bad. 22.
+
+MATT: Success, so you take half damage.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: That is 25 points of piercing damage to you
+Nott.
+
+SAM: Because I hit it with my thing, do I no
+longer have a reaction?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+SAM: Oh, shit.
+
+MATT: Now you know about the reactions.
+
+ASHLEY: 25 points of damage?
+
+MATT: Of piercing damage, and halved for you, so
+you take 12.
+
+MARISHA: 12.
+
+MATT: Its shrapnel blast is done. That’s the end
+of its turn. That brings us to Beau. You’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Being hit with hot shrapnel, I’m
+going to do a cool pole vault over Nott.
+
+MATT: Over this way?
+
+MARISHA: I guess. Wait, where’s Yasha? Yasha’s
+here?
+
+MATT: Yasha’s prone on the ground.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll get on the other side of where Yasha
+will eventually be.
+
+MATT: Oh, so around here?
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh. On this side of it.
+
+MATT: You’re moving into melee?
+
+MARISHA: Yep.
+
+MATT: Got it.
+
+MARISHA: Then attack!
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Whack it with my stick. I’m going to try
+and jam it up in between one of those gears.
+
+TALIESIN: You also have the mouth you can throw
+the tar up in there.
+
+MARISHA: That’s terrible. That doesn’t hit, that’s
+like, ten.
+
+MATT: Ten misses. The first strike with your staff
+just scrapes off of its armor, no impact.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to readjust and try and go for
+it again. That’s the exact same roll. Those are
+
+two twos in a row.
+
+MATT: The second one, you strike again. This time,
+one of the blades swings outward, and thankfully,
+
+the blade doesn’t hit the staff to cut the wood,
+however, it does, the backhand, impact it and
+
+prevent the blow from actually striking its body.
+
+MARISHA: Two twos.
+
+MATT: That’s not fun.
+
+MARISHA: I guess I will do an unarmed attack.
+
+MATT: You go and punch the armored sphere.
+
+MARISHA: So frustrated that I can’t get my staff
+up there, I’m just going to go and try and whack
+
+it with my fist.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: 17, which just misses.
+
+MATT: It just misses. Well, not so much a miss.
+You hit it, but you go (metallic clang), “Oh!” You
+
+can feel that from the knuckles right to the funny
+bone.
+
+MARISHA: Do I have any more movement?
+
+MATT: From there, you have ten feet.
+
+MARISHA: Can I back up towards, or even get this–
+I’m just going to stay where I am.
+
+MATT: Okay. Finishing Beau’s turn, that brings us
+to Nott and Molly–
+
+MARISHA: Oh wait, hang on, as a bonus act– no. I
+used my bonus action. Fuck. Okay, keep going.
+
+SAM: Is its lens out?
+
+MATT: Its lens appears to be out currently, just
+surveying the scenario, yes.
+
+SAM: So go for the lens?
+
+TALIESIN: Go for it.
+
+SAM: Bonus action, I will use the Mage Hand to
+deliver the tar right on that lens.
+
+MATT: I’ll say, for the purposes of aiming on
+this, with your intention, go ahead and make a d20
+
+attack roll adding your perception bonus.
+
+SAM: There is no bonus to that. Well that’s– how
+do you feel about that? Well, it fell so we’ll
+
+never know what it was. 17!
+
+MATT: 17! I’ll say, for the purposes of that,
+because it’s not armor you’re trying to strike
+
+through, it’s just trying to aim for a position,
+that will be enough. The tar, with a toss,
+
+(splashing) all across the lens. You see the
+sticky, still warm, thick tar spray onto it, and
+
+get inside the interior of its armor for the
+moment. The lens starts (swift movements), and you
+
+hear what previously was, now that it’s close to
+you, you can hear there’s hundreds and hundreds of
+
+small clicks and winding sounds on the inside.
+There’s now a rapid (zipping movements) as the
+
+lens is trying to find some sort of direction. It
+is currently blinded.
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: Our plan worked perfectly. How far am I from
+the thing?
+
+MATT: Technically, you are ten feet from it.
+
+SAM: Do you think I’m in melee range?
+
+TALIESIN: Probably.
+
+MATT: The blades have a bit of reach, so you are
+technically in melee.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a ten-foot blade reach.
+
+SAM: Can I use my action to disengage?
+
+MATT: You can use your action to disengage, yeah.
+Disengage generally is an action.
+
+SAM: Okay. I will disengage and run.
+
+MATT: Which direction?
+
+SAM: Straight to the place I just came from.
+
+MATT: All right. You can get there. You can go one
+more, if you want to.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MATT: All right, there you go. You can still keep
+it in your visual range, but that’s 30 feet back.
+
+Now you spin around with your crossbow, not
+suffering any attack of opportunity. All right, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Can I see anywhere where there seems to
+be a crack in the armor and make a–
+
+MATT: You may, yes. Well, you can try and
+inspect.
+
+TALIESIN: I want to see if there’s anything that
+looks like a good target to start doing some
+
+damage to.
+
+MATT: At the moment, it hasn’t taken a lot of
+damage, and it’s hard to see if any–
+
+TALIESIN: Is there a plate open or anything at the
+moment near me?
+
+MATT: The only plate that’s open is the one that
+has the lens visible, but it’s really close to the
+
+body and right now there’s blades spinning in its
+space.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try and get to the side
+without the blade. I’m going to try and chop open
+
+one of the plates on the back. I’m going to start
+hacking away at it. Actually, even with the
+
+blades, there’s an open place right now? Is there
+a place for me to start poking the tender insides?
+
+MATT: At the moment, not really. It’s still fresh
+in battle, and its armor plates are pretty much
+
+protecting all of it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try and find one armor
+plate and start going to town.
+
+MATT: Where are you going to attack its
+construction?
+
+TALIESIN: I want to get to its left hind quarters.
+I’m going to run over to the opposite side, flank
+
+it with the lollipop.
+
+MATT: Oh, with the lollipop? All righty. You’re
+going to be right there, on top of the door?
+
+TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: All righty, take your attacks.
+
+TALIESIN: First attack is a natural 20!
+
+MATT: Nice! Make your damage on that and roll the
+second attack. That’s–
+
+TALIESIN: 2d6 with ice damage. That’s (counting)
+17 points of damage.
+
+MATT: 17 points of damage. Nice!
+
+TALIESIN: Next attack with the same sword.
+Actually, I’m so sorry, that’s the wrong sword.
+
+That’s 18 points of damage because of the Summer’s
+Dance.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+TALIESIN: Then the next one, Summer’s Dance again,
+is not quite as good, 12. That does not hit.
+
+MATT: 12 does not, but first strike carves through
+and some of the armor bends inward. As you cut
+
+through, plates bend inward, and have to try and
+retract to protect, but they’re locked in place.
+
+You’ve actually bent them to the point where they
+cannot reform this armored mesh. It’s trying to
+
+correct itself, but busted in place. The second
+strike, as you come down, one of the blades
+
+catches and parries it off to the side. No impact
+on the second blow.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay. Going for a third strike.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: 14.
+
+MATT: 14 does not hit. This is a tough mother. You
+go to strike a third time. You do hit, but it just
+
+doesn’t cut through. The blade shakes a bit. You
+pull back, cursing yourself.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it worth seeing if it’s going to–
+well, it’s blinded, so it’s got disadvantage if it
+
+tries to even hit me with an attack, so I’m going
+to try and back off and climb up that little hill.
+
+MATT: For those questioning, even though it is
+blinded, it lowers its attack, because some people
+
+are like, “Attacking things with blindness have
+advantage!”. Because it is nothing but a spinning,
+
+whirring of blades, and technically it has
+multiple forms of sight, it is not granting
+
+advantage on the attacks against it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try and hop up that hill
+really quickly.
+
+MATT: All righty. You try and move this way?
+
+TALIESIN: Yep.
+
+MATT: All right, you’re hopping up this edge.
+
+TALIESIN: As high as I can get to get out of its
+range.
+
+MATT: Okay, so that will be probably over here,
+best you can for this.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. Right over there is good.
+
+MATT: You manage to scoot yourself up to that side
+and climb away. It does swing out towards you. It
+
+does have disadvantage on the attack because of
+the blindness. That will bring it to a 13 to hit.
+
+TALIESIN: That does not hit.
+
+MATT: You manage to duck out of the way.
+
+TALIESIN: And now it doesn’t have a reaction
+anymore.
+
+SAM: Ooh, nice.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn there. That brings us to
+Caleb and Jester.
+
+LIAM: [no audio]
+
+SAM and TALIESIN: We can’t hear you.
+
+SAM: Why can’t we hear you?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we can hear you now. Oh wait, do it
+again.
+
+LIAM: Can you hear me right now?
+
+ALL: Yes!
+
+LIAM: Yeah! Okay. I’ll go, but I can’t see. The
+map is a pixelated mess of shit from my point of view.
+
+After Mollymauk cleared the way, is the thing on its
+own? Is it in a 40-foot cube of empty space, or
+
+are any of my allies in it?
+
+MATT: No, it is surrounded. There’s Beau to one
+part of it, it’s about ten feet from Yasha, and
+
+about 15 feet from Molly.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a pretty tight box we’re in.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re in a tight box.
+
+LIAM: Slow is out the window. I pull out my clay
+cat’s paw and mutter a few words, and I will cast
+
+Maximilian’s Earthen Grasp. A soil cat’s paw comes
+up out of the ground and swipes. It needs to make
+
+a strength save. 16.
+
+MATT: Strength save. That is a 15. What is your
+DC?
+
+LIAM: 16. It’s held in place, and it takes 2d6
+damage. Hold on. It takes five points of
+
+bludgeoning damage.
+
+MATT: Five points of damage, got it. It is held in
+place.
+
+LIAM: It has to use an action to break out.
+
+MATT: That it does. That ends your turn, Caleb.
+Are you going to stay back in the corner where you are?
+
+LIAM: If I can squish even one square further away
+from it, I would.
+
+MATT: You are backed up into the current corner,
+as far away as you can get. That ends Caleb’s
+
+turn. Jester’s up. What are you guys doing with
+Jester?
+
+TALIESIN: First off, we’re going to have the
+Spiritual Weapon take a swipe right at where the
+
+plates are already broken, and hit it again. Which
+is a bonus action, and a plus seven to hit. Oh,
+
+that’s not it. It’s around here somewhere. There
+it is. That’s a 15.
+
+MATT: That was 15 to hit?
+
+TALIESIN: Wait, wait. (counting) Yeah, 15.
+
+MATT: That does not hit. The lollipop swings down,
+and then bounces down off the armor. The Spiritual
+
+Weapon is not able to penetrate its armored hide.
+That’s your bonus action. Jester still has an action.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t think this is going to do
+anything.
+
+MARISHA: (singing) Playing with your friends’ D&D
+characters!
+
+TALIESIN: I was thinking of trying maybe a–
+
+SAM: Simple Sacred Flame?
+
+TALIESIN: We could do Sacred Flame, or if you were
+nearer I’d say Cure Wounds. Or we could do a
+
+Guiding Bolt.
+
+ASHLEY: Hey, that’s a classic.
+
+TALIESIN: (like Jester) “We’re going to do Guiding
+Bolt.” You roll this one.
+
+SAM: (imitating Taliesin) We’re going to do
+Guiding Bolt.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s a 26.
+
+MATT: 26 definitely hits! Roll damage on that.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s 4d6 radiant damage.
+
+MATT: Yes, and the next attack on it has
+advantage.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Come on, Jester. Any pluses?
+
+TALIESIN: No, just 4d6.
+
+ASHLEY: 14.
+
+MATT: 14 points of damage. Nice. As the released
+Guiding Bolt slams into the side of it, the blast
+
+of divine energy explodes. Some of the plates dent
+inward and now you see this glittering energy
+
+that’s entwining its body, giving you a glimmer of
+some of the weak points to help you hit where
+
+it’ll hurt the most. Does that finish Jester’s
+turn? She going to stay where she is, or is she
+
+going to move?
+
+TALIESIN: I feel like we should open up a little
+bit. I think she’s going to see if she can crawl
+
+over to the door, so she can hide behind it in
+case something bad happens.
+
+MATT: Okay, so she tries to move into the
+doorway.
+
+SAM: That door actually opens and closes, Matt?
+
+TALIESIN: In fact, she might be smart– she has to
+keep the Spiritual Weapon in visual range, right?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay. She’s going to just use that as
+some cover.
+
+MATT: Sounds good. So that finishes Jester’s turn.
+Top of the round, Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. So I’m going to (stuttering) pick
+myself up.
+
+MATT: That’s half your movement, so you still have
+20 feet of movement.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I flank? Get around so Beau and I
+are– yeah.
+
+MATT: Right there. You are now flanking with Beau.
+Your first attack has advantage anyway, because of
+
+the Guiding Bolt.
+
+ASHLEY: Right. That’s right.
+
+SAM: Up the butt. Does it have a butt, Matt?
+
+MATT: You cannot discern any sort of rear end or
+exhaust port.
+
+SAM: Does it poop?
+
+MATT: You’ll find out, I’m sure.
+
+ASHLEY: 22.
+
+MATT: 22 hits. Roll damage on that first strike.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a lot.
+
+SAM: Everyone poops.
+
+MARISHA: We can’t see the sphincter!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh wait, no! Everybody poops unless
+they’re an android, because then they must be destroyed.
+
+MARISHA: Oh yeah, sure. That’s right.
+
+TALIESIN: Poop, poop.
+
+ASHLEY: 16.
+
+MATT: 16 points of damage. Cutting through bits
+and pieces of it. Nice. That’s your first strike
+
+on it. As you jam down, grinding off, some of the
+metal plates pull away from it, and once again
+
+lock, unable to push back into place. There’s
+small places where you’re starting to buckle parts
+
+of its exterior armor, so its AC actually does go
+down by one.
+
+SAM: Ooh!
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, okay. So I get another attack?
+
+MATT: That’s your first strike. You get a second
+attack.
+
+TALIESIN: So we now know at least a 17 will hit.
+
+ASHLEY: That does not have advantage, right?
+
+MATT: You do, because you’re currently flanking
+with Beau.
+
+MARISHA: (singing) Because we’re flanking, bitch!
+
+ASHLEY: That’s a 25.
+
+MATT: 25 does hit. Roll damage.
+
+ASHLEY: Not an extra, because not Divine Fury?
+
+MATT: Correct. Just 2d6 plus five.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. That’s 11.
+
+MATT: 11 points of damage. Nice! Yasha, busting it
+out. All right, that finish your turn?
+
+LIAM: Just a reminder that everyone is rolling at
+advantage while the Cat’s Paw holds it.
+
+ALL: Ooh.
+
+MATT: Oh, because it’s restrained? Right!
+
+TALIESIN: Blinded and restrained right now.
+
+MATT: Good to know. That finishes Yasha’s turn.
+It’s now Fjord’s go.
+
+MARISHA: (exaggerated Texan drawl) I do a cowboy
+saunter up behind the– I go under the lollipop
+
+and I use the magical field of the lollipop to
+make it like me walking through a glitter fog
+
+machine. I walk up to him, thank you. I walk up,
+and I’m going to attack with my falchion.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Make two strikes with the
+falchion. First attack with advantage.
+
+MARISHA: I’m sorry, Travis.
+
+SAM: That’s exactly how he talks.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take that 18, plus that seven.
+
+MATT: All right, that hits. The first attack,
+that’s a d8 plus–
+
+MARISHA: Plus Hex.
+
+MATT: A d8, plus four, plus Hex.
+
+MARISHA: And then I’m going do Booming Blade with
+my action. Is that not how this works?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, no. I’m going to do damage.
+
+MATT: Booming Blade is a cantrip that only gives
+you one attack as part of the action.
+
+MARISHA: Never mind, then I’m just going to hit it
+real hard.
+
+MATT: That’s okay.
+
+MARISHA: Six plus two plus five, so eight plus
+five.
+
+MATT: All right, that’s 13 damage.
+
+MARISHA: See my math? I can only do half. I’m so
+tired.
+
+MATT: It’s been a long day. I know. Fjord comes up
+holding the falchion, hand swings down, carving
+
+through, the shadows of the Hex helping the blade
+dig in that much more. You have a second attack.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, it’s still advantage, right?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, hyuck hyuck hyuck. I’ll take that
+16.
+
+LIAM: Meanwhile, Travis is somewhere singing “Dear
+Theodosia.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, somewhere he’s getting a nosebleed
+while this happens. Four plus four plus five, so 13?
+
+MATT: 13 points of damage? That hits again. With
+that, with Fjord carving into it twice with the
+
+blade, each time the falchion is carving through
+each section, more and more armored pieces are
+
+pushing inward. It’s not enough to lower its AC,
+but it is taking more and more damage. Slowly
+
+you’re piercing its heavily protected exterior.
+
+MARISHA: Do I have any more movement?
+
+MATT: Fjord would have, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Like ten more?
+
+MATT: Ten more feet.
+
+MARISHA: He’s going to back up to that gate a
+little bit.
+
+MATT: One or two steps?
+
+MARISHA: Two, if he can.
+
+MATT: All right. Still in melee.
+
+MARISHA: He’s still in melee? Okay.
+
+MATT: It’s a ten foot range. That ends your turn?
+
+MARISHA: Yep. That’s Fjord’s turn.
+
+MATT: All right. That brings us to the Gatekeeper
+construct. The lens has retracted back into its
+
+armor, and you hear this sound (whirring) the lens
+comes out, and it has cleared the tar from its lens.
+
+MARISHA: Cleff, you sick bastard!
+
+ASHLEY: Damn it! So he did think of that! He put
+that in his notes!
+
+MARISHA: He did! Yeah, he said he didn’t have a
+failsafe. That lying old bastard.
+
+ASHLEY: Lying sack of shit.
+
+MATT: The lens retracts and pops out the back
+side, immediately scanning the source of what’s
+
+currently clutching it, and its dirt-driven arcane
+paw. The blade arms on the top retract in, and
+
+instead these two heavy iron spears lock into
+place, and both go firing outward towards Caleb.
+
+SAM: Oh no! Not my sweet boy!
+
+MATT: They have disadvantage, because it is
+restrained. With disadvantage, it’s going to be an
+
+18 to hit for the first one.
+
+LIAM: Shield.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+LIAM: So it misses.
+
+MATT: All righty. Second one, 16 and 18. 16 plus
+eight; it’s going to be 24.
+
+LIAM: Oh, that will hit. Those will hit.
+
+MATT: The first one, the shield (clang). It
+ricochets off and floats off in the background
+
+spinning. The second one, however, pierces through
+the shield and hits you in the chest.
+
+LIAM: That’s not going to be good.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be 17 points of piercing
+damage.
+
+LIAM: Good, good, good.
+
+MATT: And you are pinned to the wall. It actually
+pierced through your chest and is now holding you
+
+into the stone. Your movement is zero, and you are
+considered restrained against the wall.
+
+LIAM: I also have to make a concentration check.
+
+MATT: You do. So go ahead and make a constitution
+check. With the damage taken, it has to be at
+
+least a ten or higher.
+
+LIAM: Hold on. I rolled a three.
+
+MATT: No, and with that, the paw is broken.
+
+SAM: (cat yowl)
+
+MARISHA: Shit.
+
+LIAM: Well, it’s still there. It’s just not
+holding it. Wait, no, it’s gone.
+
+MATT: No, it’s gone. You’ve lost concentration on
+the spell. And it did recharge its shrapnel blast.
+
+MARISHA: I was really wanting advantage on all my
+attacks. Oh, but I have Yasha flanking. Okay.
+
+MATT: That being the case, that’s going to finish
+its turn. It’s going to stay put. Because the
+
+blades now grind out again and begin whirring and
+spinning around its orb-like body. That brings us
+
+to Beau. Beau, at the top of your turn, because
+you are within five feet of it, you automatically
+
+take whirling blade damage by being in proximity.
+
+LIAM: Matt, was that 17 points of damage?
+
+MATT: That was, yes.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m also in proximity.
+
+MATT: Yes. So at the top of your turn, you’ll take
+it as well. That’s six points of slashing damage
+
+to you, Beau. Now take your turn.
+
+MARISHA: Six. Apply changes. (singing) D&D Beyond!
+
+SAM: My mustache is falling off, so I better hold
+it on with another mustache.
+
+TALIESIN: No, stop.
+
+MATT: Fuck you, Sam!
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I’m having internet problems. View.
+Okay, I get advantage on this attack, right?
+
+MATT: You do, because you’re flanking.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to try and once again get
+up in those plates.
+
+SAM: Get up under them plates!
+
+MARISHA: That one’s cocked underneath. Okay!
+
+MATT: A four and a six.
+
+MARISHA: No, it was cocked underneath. It was
+tilted.
+
+MATT: Okay. That dice is weird for that because
+then you rolled the d20 twice.
+
+MARISHA: Then I won’t use it.
+
+MATT: All right. So roll the second one.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, 17 plus seven.
+
+MATT: For the second strike?
+
+MARISHA: I rolled both at the same– No, first to
+strike.
+
+MATT: The first roll you had was a four on the
+top, so roll for your second die.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Just keeping it kosher.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. It’s still an 18.
+
+MATT: 18 hits, yeah. Go ahead and make your strike
+with your staff.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Four.
+
+MATT: Four points of damage?
+
+MARISHA: Plus another four.
+
+MATT: So that’s eight. As your staff strikes
+across it, the wood of it, while damaging, doesn’t
+
+seem to be having as strong an impact as you’d
+hope against its armored form.
+
+MARISHA: Because it’s not magical?
+
+MATT: It seems to be resistant to something that
+is not magical.
+
+SAM: Oh no.
+
+MARISHA: Even though I still hit, can I try to
+stun it with a Stunning Strike?
+
+MATT: Sure. Let’s go ahead and– I’m pretty
+sure–
+
+MARISHA: I haven’t hit anything in so long and I
+just want to stun something. I’ve had such bad
+
+luck the past two fights.
+
+MATT: I’m so sorry.
+
+MARISHA: I haven’t been such a good monk.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. (coughing) That’s rough, buddy.
+
+SAM: So far we’ve learned today that Fjord sounds
+like this: (goofy chuckling)
+
+MATT: By the rules as written, because it mentions
+the ki of the inside of the body– there is no ki,
+
+but there is a magical core. I’ll say that when
+you strike the body intending to stun it, while
+
+you’re not affecting the ki of a soul, the ki that
+you’re expending might interfere with its central
+
+energy core. So it has to make a constitution
+saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be a 17. What’s the DC?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: It’s a 12 plus five, I’m sorry.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it saves.
+
+MATT: You have another attack.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to do that. Still have
+advantage, right?
+
+MATT: You do.
+
+MARISHA: Man, it will be really awesome when that
+monk ability, that’s core of my class, actually
+
+works. 17 plus seven.
+
+MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage for
+that. Second strike with your staff.
+
+MARISHA: Six.
+
+MATT: All right, six.
+
+MARISHA: Plus another four, so ten total. Sorry.
+
+MATT: It takes five points of damage as the second
+strike is still somewhat deflected by the
+
+armor of its body.
+
+MARISHA: Since I have two hits, can I do Extract
+Aspects? Spend a ki point?
+
+MATT: You can. You spend a ki point. Since we’ve
+changed or errata-ed it, it does not make a saving
+
+throw. You just get to learn–
+
+MARISHA: I get to learn two things now?
+
+MATT: At level six you get to learn two things.
+
+MARISHA: Can I learn its lowest saving throw
+ability?
+
+MATT: The lowest saving throw ability it has would
+be charisma.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Useless!
+
+MATT: Not against some spells.
+
+MARISHA: Hey Molly, you want to mock this asshole
+to death?
+
+TALIESIN: I think it would still go poorly, but
+let’s see if it comes to it.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I’m going to take my last attack.
+
+MATT: Okay, go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Still at advantage, right?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I hit with a 15 plus seven, so a
+22.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+MARISHA: I have a d6 now. Five damage.
+
+MATT: Five damage reduced to two. This time, you
+hit with your fists. Again, it scrapes through the
+
+armor, and you’re bleeding at the knuckles from
+the impact. It’s hard to break through its shell.
+
+MARISHA: I’m feeling so useful, you guys.
+
+MATT: This is a rough fight for a monk at level
+five, unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: I got a crazy idea.
+
+MATT: That finish your turn, Beau?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’m going to stay exactly where I
+am.
+
+MATT: Okay, that finishes Beau’s turn. Nott and
+Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: You first, please.
+
+SAM: I’m going to scoot around and fire a crossbow
+at it.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: That’s a 15 plus seven to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+SAM: Is it within melee and stuff?
+
+MATT: It is.
+
+SAM: Well, that wasn’t good at all!
+
+TALIESIN: Hey, Beau.
+
+SAM: That’s eight.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage, reduce that in half
+because it’s a non-magical source. That’s four
+
+points of piercing to it.
+
+SAM: I’ll use my Fury Of The Small. That’s another
+five points.
+
+MARISHA: Are you using my friend’s success to try
+and make me feel better?
+
+TALIESIN: No, he actually only did four points of
+damage. Sam only did four.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, you’re trying to use my friend’s
+failure to make me feel better.
+
+MATT: It gets stuck in some of the gears. You see
+some sparks from the inside, but it doesn’t fully
+
+pierce its shell.
+
+SAM: Terrible. I can’t really do anything. You
+know what, I’ll take out my last burning bolt,
+
+that should be magical, load it up and fire that.
+
+MATT: Go for it. That is a magical bolt.
+
+SAM: But that doesn’t hit. I just wasted it. It’s
+14.
+
+MATT: The bolt doesn’t impact. It just glides off
+the armor. It lands somewhere in the distance. You
+
+don’t know if it’s retrievable or not yet.
+
+SAM: Damn it!
+
+MARISHA: It’s impossible to take you seriously.
+
+SAM: What are you talking about?
+
+TALIESIN: I can’t even– I’m rooting for Nott,
+then I look at you and I feel weird.
+
+MATT: Molly, you’re up.
+
+SAM: I’m going to duck back a little bit.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to run in and try to do a
+little bit more damage in here. I’m coming in and
+
+taking three more shots. I caught it. It’s all
+good. That one misses.
+
+MATT: All right, you move in. Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: That one hits. That’s a 19.
+
+MATT: First strike it dodges; it moves out of the
+way. The second strike actually makes an impact,
+
+so roll for that.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s okay. (counting) That’s 12 points
+of damage.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage, all righty. Carves
+through with the second strike.
+
+TALIESIN: For a third, slightly less exciting
+attack. Natural 20!
+
+MATT: This is your off-hand, so it’s not a magical
+weapon.
+
+TALIESIN: But its magicked up.
+
+MATT: Correct, so the extra rite damage is
+magical, but the actual blade will be halved.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, that’s fine.
+
+MATT: So roll the d6 for your blade.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s two to three, so that’s five.
+
+MATT: Five reduced to two. So two damage plus
+this, doubled. Well no, sorry, the two is doubled
+
+because it was a crit. So it would have been four
+plus three, which is seven.
+
+TALIESIN: So it was a five.
+
+MATT: Sure, it’s five damage.
+
+TALIESIN: And then six because this is doubled.
+
+MATT: So 11 points of damage. Now the armor is
+reduced to 16 as you’re carving away at its
+
+armored shell. It’s starting to look pretty hurt.
+You see it shifting rapidly trying to figure out
+
+its situation and tactically maneuver best it
+can.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to see if I can hop back up
+out of– am I ever getting out of melee, or am I
+
+not getting out of melee?
+
+MATT: If you back all the way up to here, you can.
+Or all the way up to the top.
+
+TALIESIN: It will still get an attack of opportunity
+on me, though. Without disadvantage now.
+
+MATT: At the moment, no.
+
+TALIESIN: You know, I’m going to stick around for
+now.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to keep a flanking point. I’m
+going to move a little bit, so that we’re spread
+
+out around it. So it has to make some decisions.
+
+SAM: Can he use the rest of his movement to work
+on his Jester accent?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s going to be a lot of movement.
+
+MATT: Caleb and Jester, you’re up next. Caleb,
+you’re currently pinned to the wall. You’re muted
+
+also, I can’t hear you.
+
+LIAM: What comes after Jester and I in the
+initiative order?
+
+MATT: Yasha does.
+
+LIAM: Yasha does, and then the thing?
+
+MATT: Yes, Yasha, Fjord, and then the thing.
+
+MARISHA: And Jester is with you.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I know. I’m having trouble thinking
+straight because there is a blade through my gut
+
+and my rib cage. So I grasp the cat’s paw again, I
+don’t try to pull myself loose, and I cast
+
+Maximilian’s Earthen Paw again. Strength save.
+
+MATT: As the paw reaches out once more to grab
+it– that is a 19. 14 plus five. Sorry, man.
+
+You’re still maintaining concentration, but it did
+not seem to grasp it at this moment. All right,
+
+that ends Caleb’s turn. Jester’s up.
+
+MARISHA: No, don’t do that! Go back. Sorry, keep
+going.
+
+TALIESIN: Should I try something offensive or
+healing-based, do you think? How are you doing, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Bad.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, so we’re going to do this. We’re
+going to run out and cast Healing Word on Caleb.
+
+MATT: Okay, so step back through the door a little
+bit there. What level?
+
+TALIESIN: Level one.
+
+MATT: So a d4 plus four to Caleb.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, 1d4 plus four. So that’s seven
+points.
+
+MATT: Caleb, you heal seven points. That’s a bonus
+action from Jester. What’s next? You can only use
+
+a cantrip since you’ve cast a bonus action spell.
+
+ASHLEY: So the Spiritual Weapon?
+
+MATT: Spiritual Weapon is a bonus action spell.
+You’ve already used the Healing Word, unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: But I can use my action for the bonus
+action.
+
+MATT: It doesn’t work that way.
+
+TALIESIN: You can’t up a bonus action to an
+action?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TALIESIN: Man! So I can’t cast anything higher
+than level one either, can I?
+
+MATT: Or a cantrip.
+
+TALIESIN: I can only cast cantrip at this point. I
+would have done that in the reverse order if I had
+
+been thinking about things. Well, what do I got? I
+got a– oh!
+
+MATT: But Caleb’s healed a little bit.
+
+TALIESIN: Caleb’s healed and that’s good. Do we
+want to try?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I say give it a go.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s try Toll the Dead.
+
+MATT: Constitution saving throw?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a wisdom saving throw.
+
+MATT: Wisdom to Toll the Dead?
+
+TALIESIN: You point at one creature you can see
+within range, and the sound of a– you succeed at
+
+a wisdom saving throw or take 1d8 of necrotic.
+
+MATT: It is wisdom, you are right. So that would
+put it at a 14. Because it has no wisdom modifier.
+
+ASHLEY: 15.
+
+MATT: 15, so it takes the damage! Go ahead and
+roll.
+
+TALIESIN: If the target is missing any of its hit
+points, it instead takes 1d12 necrotic damage.
+
+MATT: You’re level five, so it technically–
+
+SAM: (Jester voice) Technically!
+
+MATT: It’s a 5th-level character, so it’s–
+
+MATT and TALIESIN: 2d12.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. That’s 17 points of necrotic
+damage.
+
+MATT: Not bad for a cantrip!
+
+TALIESIN: Boom!
+
+MATT: “It’s not too bad.” All right, that’s going
+to finish Jester’s turn. Does she want to move?
+
+TALIESIN: I think she’s going to back up again.
+
+MATT: Back into the door? You got it. Jester is
+just on the side there. All right, finishes
+
+Jester’s go, Yasha you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I am going to attack with my–
+
+MATT: At the top of your turn, you take blade
+damage because you’re in proximity to it. That’s
+
+ten. You take ten points of piercing damage. So,
+reduced to five.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re a beast. You’re great.
+
+ASHLEY: All right, so, question? I would like to
+try to use the Dispel Magic portion of my
+
+Magician’s Judge.
+
+SAM: Now?
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t know; is that bad?
+
+SAM: I don’t know, can you get in there? Is the
+guts exposed?
+
+TALIESIN: Is there enough gut to hit?
+
+MATT: There are a couple of pockets where you can
+see inside of it, but you don’t see the power
+
+source. It’s risky.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I’m going to wait.
+
+MATT: So you’re just taking a strike with it? You
+have advantage because you’re flanked with Beau.
+
+MARISHA: I think that’s the best thing I’ve done
+this whole fight, is flanking.
+
+MATT: Some fights aren’t great for every class,
+I’m sorry.
+
+ASHLEY: 19.
+
+MATT: 19 hits! Roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: 16 to hit, so that’s not bad.
+
+MATT: Yep, 16 AC.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. 17 points.
+
+MATT: 17 points! Carving past with the blade. You
+have a second strike, if you’d like.
+
+ASHLEY: I would like– Does that also have
+advantage, or no?
+
+MATT: Yeah it is, because you’re flanking.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, ooh! 22.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that hits. Roll damage again.
+
+ASHLEY: 16.
+
+MATT: 33 points of damage in one round. Yasha
+doesn’t mess around. That finishes your turn?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes.
+
+MATT: Fjord’s up.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, Fjord is going to walk up. “I’m a
+warlock.” First, he’s going to do– I don’t think
+
+this is a concentration thing, it’s a bonus
+action. He’s going to do Hexblade’s Curse.
+
+MATT: Correct, you can do that.
+
+SAM: It’s pronounced–
+
+SAM, MARISHA, and TALIESIN: (exaggerated Texas
+drawl) Hexblade’s Curse.
+
+TALIESIN: So much fun to make fun of him when he’s
+not here. I think, at some point, you may need
+
+another mustache.
+
+MARISHA: I gain a bonus to damage rolls that
+equals my proficiency modifier.
+
+MATT: So an additional three damage per strike.
+
+MARISHA: An additional three damage! I should have
+done this forever ago.
+
+MATT: Yeah, but now you know.
+
+MARISHA: I’m not a warlock! First attack, still
+with advantage, right?
+
+MATT: No! You’re not flanking with anybody.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, he’s not. It’s just Yasha and I.
+
+MATT: So first attack with the falchion.
+
+MARISHA: Plus seven.
+
+MATT: That’s two attacks there.
+
+MARISHA: Oh wait, sorry. But I’ll take it. Those
+first two attacks, 17 and 14.
+
+MATT: Yeah, both will hit, so roll damage on each.
+So a d8 plus–
+
+MARISHA: d8 plus six.
+
+MATT: d8 plus seven on each attack, plus a d6 on
+each. So roll that.
+
+MARISHA: Six plus seven, so 13 on the first one.
+Same, 13 on the second one.
+
+MATT: Nice! Starting to look pretty rough now, as
+parts of it are breaking down a bit. It’s shaking
+
+and you see little sparks on the inside as gears
+are starting to connect where they’re not supposed
+
+to and grind against each other. That finish
+Fjord’s turn?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, can he back up again?
+
+MATT: Five feet or ten?
+
+MARISHA: Ten?
+
+MATT: One more and it’ll take an attack of
+opportunity. Up to you.
+
+MARISHA: If he does an attack of opportunity, if I
+move Fjord back, than we get a Sentinel strike, right?
+
+MATT: Technically, if he takes it.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, let’s do it! Sorry, Fjord. He
+hasn’t taken any damage, step back. He still has
+
+Armor of Agathys, too.
+
+TALIESIN: Step all the way back. Might as well,
+because you can always run back there.
+
+MARISHA: I think that’s as far as he can go,
+movement speed-wise.
+
+MATT: No, he can move farther than that.
+
+MARISHA: Sure.
+
+MATT: Okay, it’s not going to take an attack of
+opportunity. It’s currently focused on everything
+
+else around it.
+
+MARISHA: What?! Okay.
+
+MATT: That finishes Fjord’s turn?
+
+MARISHA: Yes, it does.
+
+MATT: This entity is going to attempt to shift
+back this way. Which means Beau and Molly both get
+
+attacks of opportunity against it.
+
+ASHLEY: I get one?
+
+MATT: You do not, because it’s still in melee with
+you.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you get to try and make it not move?
+
+MARISHA: I do. Do I still get advantage because
+flank?
+
+MATT: No, because it’s moved out of that range.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Yeah, that’s a 17 plus seven, so
+24.
+
+MATT: 24 hits, so roll damage. It does not move.
+
+MARISHA: That’s an eight on an eight. Plus four,
+so 12 damage.
+
+MATT: 12 reduced to six, got it.
+
+MARISHA: And he does not move.
+
+MATT: Nope, he gets stuck there. The bane of all
+GMs everywhere.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t still get to take my attack of
+opportunity, even though that happened?
+
+MATT: No, he did not technically move out of–
+it’s sticky. It’s one of those weird things where
+
+he doesn’t technically move beyond the range, but
+he tries to.
+
+TALIESIN: He tried to and I try to make a jab.
+
+MATT: I’ll let you have it, sure.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take no advantage.
+
+MATT: You have no advantage.
+
+TALIESIN: I thought I might be flanked.
+
+MATT: Currently, no. You would need something
+right there in that corner to flank.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a (counting) 24 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s (counting) nine points of damage.
+Yeah, nine.
+
+MATT: It angrily is going to open to do its
+shrapnel blast.
+
+SAM: Yeah. Where? Oh no, Caleb, you’re in that
+cone.
+
+MARISHA: Ah, Caleb!
+
+SAM: Oh no, he’s dead already!
+
+MARISHA: Oh god! How long has he been like that?
+
+MATT: It was that powerful! I need Molly, Beau,
+Fjord, and Caleb, and technically Jester, as
+
+well.
+
+ASHLEY: Isn’t she behind the door?
+
+MATT: She didn’t close the door there. She stepped
+into the space to maintain eye contact.
+
+SAM: (singing) Open the door on your mystery date.
+Caleb, you have to make a dex save.
+
+TALIESIN: Dex save?
+
+MATT: Dex save, please.
+
+LIAM: 20.
+
+MATT: That’s a success.
+
+MARISHA: 14.
+
+MATT: That is a failure.
+
+SAM: How? You’re pinned to a wall!
+
+TALIESIN: Dex save? 22 for me.
+
+MATT: Success. Oh, you’re not there. Nott?
+
+LIAM: I spun myself like a pinwheel.
+
+MATT: Fjord and Jester, if you could.
+
+SAM: Marisha, do one for Fjord.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t fuck Fjord, Gil! Oh, good. 17 for
+Fjord.
+
+TALIESIN: Ten for Jester.
+
+MATT: Okay, so everyone saves except for Fjord.
+Sorry, Jester. 27 points of piercing damage,
+
+halved to be 13 points of piercing damage to
+everybody.
+
+MARISHA: Do I save?
+
+MATT: You rolled a–?
+
+MARISHA: 14.
+
+MATT: No, you do not, so you take the full 27
+points of piercing damage.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, so 14 points of piercing damage.
+
+MARISHA: I had 27 hit points left.
+
+MATT: No shit?
+
+ASHLEY: You’re unconscious?
+
+MARISHA: Beau’s unconscious again.
+
+SAM: How about you, Cay? Cay-Cay?
+
+LIAM: Low.
+
+SAM: Low, okay.
+
+MATT: And still pinned. Jester took a full 27.
+
+SAM: How’s she?
+
+ASHLEY: Jester took a full 27?
+
+MATT: She rolled low for her dexterity check. 27
+points of damage.
+
+TALIESIN: Is that the whole, or did you not do the
+whole thing? I’m up. I’m fine.
+
+MATT: That’s its action. It is locked in place and
+it can’t move. Its speed is zero, frustratingly.
+
+Caleb, I need you to make another concentration
+check, please, from the damage you took.
+
+LIAM: On what? Nothing’s up.
+
+MATT: I thought your other cat hand?
+
+LIAM: That failed last time, didn’t it?
+
+MATT: It failed, but can you still try it for
+every turn after, or is it a one-time cast thing?
+
+LIAM: It can use a strength save to break out of
+it and it exists, but if I fail my concentration
+
+check, it goes, right?
+
+MATT: But you’ve recast it.
+
+LIAM: The second time it succeeded immediately.
+
+MATT: Right, but when you create it in space, it
+stays there.
+
+LIAM: It stays there?
+
+MATT: Yeah, and then as an action you can cause it
+to try and do things–
+
+LIAM: Great! Then that means it’s staying there.
+
+MATT: Make a concentration check to see if you
+maintain the spell.
+
+LIAM: Yes, sir.
+
+MATT: Higher than a ten.
+
+LIAM: 12.
+
+MATT: All right, you succeed. You maintain
+concentration. That finishes your turn. Beau,
+
+you’re up first.
+
+SAM: Do that thing you do, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Roll a death saving throw? That is the
+thing I do.
+
+MATT: You don’t have to roll. You take damage from
+proximity to it, so you automatically fail a death
+
+saving throw from the blades carving into your
+now-unconscious body nearby.
+
+MARISHA: Do I roll again? Can I take the roll I
+just used?
+
+MATT: Yeah, whatever you rolled on your death
+saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: 14.
+
+MATT: Yeah, so that’s a failure and a success.
+That brings us to Nott and Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: You want to go first?
+
+SAM: Sure?
+
+TALIESIN: Got any thoughts?
+
+SAM: I mean, I don’t have much. I’ll walk up
+there, poke around the corner, shoot a crossbow
+
+bolt, do my thing. That’s a big hit. 25.
+
+MATT: That’ll do. Roll damage with sneak attack.
+
+MARISHA: Should have brought more tar.
+
+SAM: Ten, halved.
+
+MATT: Five points of piercing damage on the first
+strike. Do you want to bonus action attack as well?
+
+SAM: I guess? These attacks are so weak. I don’t
+know what else to do. I don’t have anything else
+
+to do. Yeah, I guess I’ll shoot another one. Why
+not? That hits, 23.
+
+MATT: 23? Go ahead. That’s 1d6 plus–
+
+SAM: That’s another six points, halved.
+
+MATT: Halved to three, all righty. Sparks are
+flying. It’s starting to shake. Molly, top of your
+
+turn, the swirling blades spin around and you take
+eight points of slashing damage. It’s your turn.
+
+TALIESIN: (counting) Eight points of slashing
+damage. Oof, that’s rough. I’m going to take two
+
+swipes at– I’m going to try and move. I’m going
+to try and move somewhere where I’m flanking. Is
+
+there any flanking available at the moment?
+
+MATT: At the moment, for you, if you move over
+Beau’s body. It’s a tough call. I mean, I’ll let
+
+you do it, if you want to. You’ll have to be
+standing over her unconscious body.
+
+TALIESIN: I was about to say, is it in any way
+that going to give her a little cover, at the very
+
+least?
+
+MATT: Probably not.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll move in and then move around–
+well, no, goddamn it.
+
+MATT: It’s up to you.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take a couple shots and see
+how this goes.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Take those shots, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Because I can use some hits that are all
+right.
+
+SAM: Take those shots, Mollymauk.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, that’s what we’re doing. First
+hit.
+
+LIAM: Don’t throw away your shot.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m not throwing away my shot. That’s a
+22 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s get that first thing. That’s 12
+points of damage?
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage, all righty. Next
+strike?
+
+TALIESIN: Next strike. That definitely hit. That’s
+24.
+
+MATT: Yep, roll damage on this one.
+
+TALIESIN: (counting) That’s ten points of damage.
+
+MATT: Ten points of damage. How do you want to do
+this? The blades are spinning, grinding around.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got that one really soft blade and
+I’m rolling it, and I want to see that one little
+
+opening and I want it to bend. The sword bends and
+does that Chinese martial art thing where it goes
+
+and pops all the way into the center of it, and I
+go wrist deep into the thing.
+
+MATT: The edges of the armor scrape against your
+flesh, pushing and cutting past skin, causing
+
+blood to drip down your arm, but this is a natural
+state for you. As the arm pushes into the center,
+
+there’s a flash of blue light, and the interior of
+its armored shell (electricity crackling). It’s
+
+like a glow on the inside of a cracked, dark orb,
+as all the individual sections where the plate
+
+armors meet suddenly glow with a bright, vibrant
+blue-white light, and then go dark, and the whole
+
+metal object hits the ground. All the legs go
+limp, and it rolls a little bit to one side, now
+
+inert and no longer functioning as a construct.
+
+LIAM: That was a Chow Yun-Fat moment.
+
+TALIESIN: I got a new die, baby. Does it look
+familiar, motherfucker?
+
+SAM: Is it the Snitch?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s the nega-Snitch.
+
+MATT: The nega-Snitch.
+
+SAM: Where did you get that?
+
+TALIESIN: I found the place where the Snitch came
+from. I had the woman make me one out of iron.
+
+MATT: I love it.
+
+TALIESIN: Boom, motherfucker.
+
+MATT: We’ll see how it fares.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s been middly, but it’s done okay
+today.
+
+SAM: Ecks versus Sever.
+
+TALIESIN: Gil has been a help today.
+
+MATT: All righty. You all take a moment. Beau is
+bleeding out.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, no, we’re immediately going to
+help.
+
+MATT: Jester runs up.
+
+ASHLEY: Jester runs up and casts Cure Wounds.
+
+SAM: Does she have a Cure Wounds?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, we got 1st-level Lay on Hands to
+get her up.
+
+ASHLEY: At 1st-level, because I feel like that’s
+what she would do.
+
+MARISHA: You really get tired of this dying thing.
+I guess unconscious thing.
+
+TALIESIN: You did so well. No, really. You did
+some good stuff in there. You kept it sitting.
+
+LIAM: Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah?
+
+LIAM: Could you please come cast Pull This
+Lamppost Out of My Stomach?
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, yes, yes. I go over and I– here.
+
+MATT: Yasha puts her foot up on the wall, and with
+one big yank, pulls it out of your torso, Caleb.
+
+It was about two inches from the side of your body
+and thrust through your abdomen. You begin to
+
+bleed, but Jester comes over and helps close up
+that wound before you bleed out too much further.
+
+SAM: I’m going to run back and see what was back
+over there.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I want to take a look in the other
+room too, and give them a proper look.
+
+MATT: Glancing into the chamber, that is another
+closed gate that is bent inward from the repeated
+
+slamming of this centurion trying to make its way
+in. Looking past the inside, you see four
+
+decomposed bodies.
+
+SAM: Can I open the thing?
+
+MATT: Make an attempt to do so.
+
+TALIESIN: Liam, you get ten hit points, and you
+get 12.
+
+MARISHA: Dope.
+
+LIAM: Who gets what now?
+
+TALIESIN: You get ten.
+
+MARISHA: I get 12.
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+LIAM: From Jester?
+
+TALIESIN: From Jester.
+
+MATT: These prison locks are a pain in the butt.
+You haven’t encountered something quite so heavily
+
+fortified as these cells.
+
+SAM: Caleb, I need you to come open this door.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to walk over to the door and
+start beating it with a sword.
+
+MATT: Okay, make a strength check.
+
+TALIESIN: You can’t dex cut this thing? You can’t
+pop it in?
+
+MATT: No, you have to force it.
+
+SAM: Yasha, I need you to come kick in this door.
+
+ASHLEY: If this big thing couldn’t kick it in, how
+could I?
+
+LIAM: I’m coming.
+
+SAM: You’re bigger.
+
+TALIESIN: Eight.
+
+MATT: It is not budging.
+
+SAM: You’re bigger in spirit and heart.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I’ll come and try to open the door.
+
+MATT: You go over, see where Molly has failed, and
+you go and try to fill that void. Make a strength check.
+
+SAM: I believe in you. Oh, wait!
+
+ASHLEY: What?
+
+TALIESIN: No, go ahead.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s not going to budge.
+
+SAM: I’m going to use this, Matt. I’m going to try
+to bend fate and try to repick the lock.
+
+MATT: Okay. It’s a little late, but I’ll allow it,
+sure.
+
+SAM: I know.
+
+MATT: Why not? Go for it.
+
+SAM: It’s a lot.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: It’s 26.
+
+MATT: 26, okay. As Yasha comes forward and slams
+her foot into it, it jostles the lock just enough
+
+for you to slip past the tumblers, and with a
+(creaks) it opens a few inches on the inside. The
+
+bottom of it is scraping against the stonework,
+the way it’s been bashed and bent has actually
+
+forced it out of the frame of the door, and it’s
+going to take a bit more force to push it open
+
+enough to move inside, but you manage to do so.
+
+TALIESIN: The three of us will get that door
+open.
+
+LIAM: Caleb stops mid-somatic gesture and says,
+“Ah, fuck this,” and goes back to the first door
+
+and has a short rest.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, Beau is going to deliriously–
+still really messed up, like a drunk person doing
+
+a pointless task– is going to try and scoop up
+some ball bearings that she threw, and then after
+
+maybe she picks up like ten–
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
+
+MARISHA: 12?
+
+MATT: How many ball bearings did you throw out?
+
+MARISHA: I tossed my baggie–
+
+MATT: Your entire bag?
+
+MARISHA: My pouch. And did one of these things. So
+I’m going to get my pouch back, and then–
+
+MATT: Okay. You get your pouch back and you manage
+to scoop up– you have, we’ll say, 814 ball bearings.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: (laughs) Most of which because it’s such a
+ridiculous item.
+
+MARISHA: Then after I, deliriously tired of
+scooping up ball bearings, I’m going to stumble
+
+back and collapse next to Caleb and also take a
+short rest.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+ASHLEY: May I go over and see the room where this
+thing was staying in, on the other side?
+
+MATT: Sure, so you make your way to the opposite
+end.
+
+SAM: Anything near the bodies?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: This I’m good at. One.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: You find– at first you think it’s dried
+compost, but you eventually realize, no, it’s just
+
+very old human excrement.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh.
+
+TALIESIN: At some point we’ll cast Detect Magic–
+
+MATT: You found prison poop.
+
+SAM: Old prison poop.
+
+MATT: Yes. Yasha, you head off to the other side
+where the gate is open, and as you go inside, you
+
+can see the interior of this chamber is as scraped
+up as the rest of them from where this sentry was
+
+attempting to scan and break out. On the inside–
+make an investigation check? First time for you?
+
+ASHLEY: I think it is. 11.
+
+MATT: 11, okay. Looking around on the inside, you
+take a glance– and there are these little pieces
+
+of things everywhere, some hard, some soft, and
+you start pulling it up, and you notice that a lot
+
+of these are tiny torn slivers of blanket or sheet
+or pillow, and the other hard pieces are tiny
+
+shards of bone. Whatever prisoners who were in
+here who could not keep this at bay, their remains
+
+have been, time and time again, ground, battered,
+and destroyed by this creature as it ran through.
+
+It has torn apart their bedding and their bodies,
+but beyond that, nothing else of interest.
+
+LIAM: Back at the front gate, leaning against
+Beauregard: Eh, what is that? Is that your blood–
+
+or is that mine?
+
+MARISHA: (slurring) I don’t know, it might be
+yours. It’s hard to tell.
+
+LIAM: (snoring)
+
+MATT: Fjord pats you on the shoulder next to you
+and goes, “Hey, I just wanted to let you know, I
+
+"appreciate what you did, taking the brunt of it,
+because it didn’t even hurt me.”
+
+MARISHA: (slurring) That’s very true. I’m going to
+remember that next time.
+
+MATT: “And that’s because of you.”
+
+MARISHA: (slurring) You’re the best, Fjord.
+
+MATT: “I know.” All righty, so what else are you
+guys doing?
+
+SAM: Should we retrieve the magic core or anything
+as proof of what we did here?
+
+TALIESIN: I mean, the fact that we’re going to
+leave the door open and it’s not coming up, but
+
+yeah, we’ll go get the core and I figure we’re
+going to do a thorough investigation of the whole
+
+thing once Caleb can do a Detect Magic.
+
+MATT: Okay. While Caleb’s taking a moment to
+finish his short rest, you begin to peer inside
+
+and pull back some of the loosened armor plates.
+Now that the machine is open, there’s not tension
+
+holding it together, and you see that each of
+these armored plates, on the inside, are attached
+
+to its own arm-like pole. Once it collapsed, all
+the armor plates went limp and fell open. It’s a
+
+tension-held bit of armor, that it could expand
+and push out different areas to leave openings and
+
+then retract again. It’s a pretty ingenious
+design, and you can see why Tinkertop is a
+
+talented man, though flawed sometimes in his
+designs. This is pretty revolutionary.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s like a weaponized version of one of
+those balls that you throw up in the air and it
+
+turns inside out.
+
+MATT: Similar to that, I guess you could say.
+Looking inside, it’s hundreds of these little
+
+poles, and gears, and little servos, and a lot of
+them are ground, bent, and damaged from the impact
+
+that you left inside. There in the center, you see
+a cracked open, and partially destroyed, bluish
+
+crystal sphere. That was where your final blow
+impacted to destroy it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to keep cutting off the arms
+so we can get to it.
+
+MATT: It’s yanking and bending pieces, pulling
+them out and (pinging). On the inside, with the
+
+damage you’ve done, it’s not too hard to pry a few
+off, but you manage to get to it, and there is the
+
+cracked and shattered crystal core.
+
+ASHLEY: Couple questions. I really like some of
+the armor pieces that he has on his shoulders,
+
+like with the skulls and things. Is that just part
+of his–
+
+MATT: That’s just part of the miniature. That was
+my representation for it. I did not have a mini of
+
+a spherical ball made of armor. I’m sorry, that’s
+the best I could do for size and intimidation.
+
+I’ve been very busy, didn’t have time to make an
+entire mini of a tiny spherical metal ball covered
+
+in blades.
+
+TALIESIN: What could you have possibly have been
+doing, Matt? Sorry!
+
+MATT: Sorry, no. It’s fine.
+
+MARISHA: Your mustache is traveling.
+
+SAM: Wherever it stays. Well, let’s take this
+stuff back up to the warden?
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve had a short rest, and we’ll do a
+quick search. Can you do a Detect Magic spell, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I have a little bit left in me,
+Mollymauk. Will you help me up, please?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, yeah come on, that’s all right.
+
+MARISHA: No, he’s my pillow! Fuck you, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Go fuck yourself, Beau. Come on.
+
+LIAM: (grunting) Okay. Point me at the thing.
+
+MATT: You do a scan of Detect Magic through the
+room over the next 15 minutes or so. You do a
+
+thorough pass around. Nothing magical catches your
+attention. Most of the interior here is–
+
+Actually, no, that’s not true. Very faint magical
+auras from two ember light torches that are on the
+
+wall. That faint red light that you’ve seen is
+essentially a very low light Everburning torch.
+
+LIAM: I turn to Mollymauk and say: Yeah, the only
+thing magical here is you, friend. Pat pat on the
+
+cheek. I wander back over to Beauregard, and I go
+to sleep again.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, come on, we’re going to get
+you guys out of here. (strained) We’re going to go.
+
+MARISHA: (groaning) Okay.
+
+MATT: You pick yourselves up, and make your way
+back to the heavy metal door. On this side, you
+
+can see the heavy scraping across it as this ball
+has also been pushing repeatedly into this one
+
+exit point. As you approach, it is still closed
+and presumably locked.
+
+SAM: (knocking) We’re done. Let us out. Guards!
+
+MATT: You hear some shifting behind it, and
+eventually hear the familiar grinding of chains
+
+against metal. (creaking) It opens slightly and
+the guards peer out. “You alive?”
+
+TALIESIN: I hold up the glowing crystal. You
+should see the other one. (laughs)
+
+MATT: “Go check it out.” A few of the gnomish
+guards push past and head down. Another one of the
+
+gnomish guards goes, “Well, fucking A. Is it
+done?” The other gnomes rush past him and say,
+
+“Sure enough. They killed the thing!” He’s like,
+“Oh, all right. I’ll lead you back to our boss.
+
+"Come on, follow me.”
+
+MARISHA: Beauregard goes: I just– it took a lot
+out of us. I pass out in Yasha’s arms.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Yasha?
+
+TALIESIN: Do I buy this?
+
+MARISHA: You have to carry me.
+
+ASHLEY: I got you.
+
+MATT: Fireman carries you.
+
+TALIESIN: I want to have an insight versus
+deception check on you.
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. I ain’t going to mess with
+you, I just want to know. Nope, that’s an eight.
+
+Unless you roll really poorly.
+
+ASHLEY: As I’m holding her–
+
+MARISHA: I rolled way better.
+
+ASHLEY: –I will cast Healing
+Hands.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll for that.
+
+ASHLEY: Regain number of hit points equal to
+your level. So you gain an extra five hit points.
+
+MARISHA: You make me feel so warm inside.
+
+TALIESIN: Come on, Nott.
+
+MARISHA: How many hit points?
+
+MATT: Five.
+
+ASHLEY: A whole five.
+
+SAM: On our way out, do I see my bolt anywhere?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check as you glance
+around the space.
+
+SAM: 12.
+
+MATT: Because it’s a small space, you do manage to
+recover it, so you get one bolt back. It did not trigger.
+
+SAM: It only triggers if it hits?
+
+MATT: If it hits an intended target, possibly, or
+something hard enough. You rolled low enough where
+
+it didn’t seem to truly impact.
+
+LIAM: Make a Fu-Manchu check.
+
+MATT: You guys slowly make your way, guided back
+by the various guards of the Gearhold Prison, to
+
+the office of the Wardenhelm, where both Rissa and
+her father are waiting. As they walk in, you
+
+glance over and can see Cleff. He’s like, “So
+how’d it go? Any luck with the thing? Oh, you
+
+"broke it!”
+
+TALIESIN: We did. We may need that later, sadly.
+
+MATT: “I’m simultaneously impressed and kind of
+sad, but impressed mostly.”
+
+TALIESIN: It did work us over quite well.
+
+SAM: It was an incredible device.
+
+ASHLEY: It really was.
+
+SAM: You could have told us the eye had a
+protective windshield wiper device.
+
+MATT: “It’s more for when it’s raining. I didn’t
+think it would be for tar, but good to know.” He
+
+takes out the note in his little pad.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take the crystal back. I’m
+so sorry, we may need this.
+
+MATT: At this point, you see turning in the office
+vicinity, Wardenhelm Poppin turns and goes, “It
+
+"appears my guards say you are successful in this.
+That is very good. I am impressed. What is your
+
+"names, if I might be of curious?”
+
+MARISHA: We’re The Mighty Nein.
+
+MATT: “The Mighty Nein. All right. Good to know
+that The Mighty Nein can be relied upon in such
+
+"situations. Are you staying in town for quite a
+while?”
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know how long we might be staying
+in town, so maybe we should go ahead and talk
+
+about that deal while we’re here?
+
+MATT: “Right. While you were down there, I got
+approval for about 200 gold from the Starosta for
+
+"payment. I hope that is enough?”
+
+MARISHA: To get out the Schusters?
+
+TALIESIN: He doesn’t know about the Schusters.
+
+MARISHA: Oh. But you talked about getting people
+out.
+
+TALIESIN: No, we mentioned vaguely that we might
+want something.
+
+MATT: “I am curious as to what you are referring
+to.”
+
+TALIESIN: We have some friends that are currently
+interred here for financial troubles? Nothing
+
+dangerous, nothing violent. We were wondering if
+we could make a deal for maybe some leniency. If
+
+that’s possible.
+
+MARISHA: Take that 200 gold, consider it their
+bail and time served.
+
+TALIESIN: Also, we do have a bit of the mechanism,
+and if everybody here is all right, I am of the
+
+opinion that if anybody asks us, it was your
+brilliant idea to let us into that cell in the
+
+first place to take care of this problem. If
+anybody asks, we know who is absolutely
+
+responsible for this.
+
+LIAM: You picked us specifically.
+
+SAM: Poppin Drokrusher.
+
+TALIESIN: You saw something in us. You took a
+chance, and we’re grateful for it.
+
+MARISHA: And this guy will agree to that. Right,
+Cleff? I elbow Cleff.
+
+MATT: “Oh! Of course, great deal. Ooh, sternum,
+it’s a bit pain–” Go ahead and make a persuasion
+
+check with advantage.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, come on, man. For fuck’s
+sake. That’s a six.
+
+MARISHA: Total?
+
+MATT: A six.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t have any persuasion. I don’t
+know why–
+
+MATT: Why you keep leading these social
+encounters?
+
+TALIESIN: Somebody should pick up, but we don’t
+have our talker here right now.
+
+MATT: Well, you got a talker, but that’s okay. He
+takes a keen look at you, goes over, and starts
+
+thumbing through papers. Goes through his books,
+picks one, and goes, “Schuster, Schuster,
+
+"Schuster. All right, I found the report here.” He
+turns the page, “That looks like they were
+
+"arrested for false idol worship. That is not a
+minor offense.”
+
+LIAM: Look at it this way: one path we could take
+is that you are the mastermind who hired the right
+
+people for the job and everything is perfect. The
+other path, we talk about how we came in and fixed
+
+things you could not.
+
+MATT: “The Schusters are still to serve a two-year
+sentence, both of them. To pay the amount to bail
+
+"them out would be, at this point, about 350 gold.
+With the 200 that were offered, that would put you
+
+"at a 150 bail amount should you wish to indeed pay
+for these very important friends of yours.”
+
+MARISHA: Well, considering you have a hunk of
+metal down in your basement that is worth at least
+
+100 gold worth of scrap that I’m sure the Assembly
+Yard would love to have–
+
+MATT: “And they will, because it’s still
+technically commissioned originally by the prison,
+
+"so we own the rights to its carcass. However, the
+moment of negotiation is over. This is my price as
+
+"it stands. Either you receive the 200 and walk
+away, or you can continue to pay the bail and they
+
+"will be released. That is up to you–”
+
+LIAM: Ja, I think that’s a fair deal. Jester,
+would you mind settling this debt for us?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, that’s no problem. Jester will be
+happy to pay.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: 150 gold?
+
+MATT: 150 gold.
+
+TALIESIN: Laura, you can text right now.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh no!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s okay. Laura will text if she has
+a problem with that.
+
+MARISHA: Fjord can foot half, since he’s
+sympathetic.
+
+TALIESIN: Fjord will pay half! So 75 gold each.
+
+MATT: That’s true.
+
+MARISHA; Fjord says, “You know what? To keep them
+out of that orphanage?”
+
+LIAM: Your gold, Laura, or your maternal bond. You
+choose!
+
+TALIESIN: Seven. Okay. So that’s all right. Bump
+bump. Oh, and look at that! It’s all done! Look at
+
+that, it’s all done. That all happened!
+
+MATT: Look at that. It’s beautiful.
+
+MARISHA: He’s like, “No money was spent!”
+
+TALIESIN: It’s as if it never was!
+
+ASHLEY: What a bunch of assholes.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s what you get for getting knocked
+up, man. Right there. Sorry.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: At this point, he–
+
+MARISHA: Kids are expensive!
+
+TALIESIN: Kids are a deep financial drain, man!
+
+MATT: It’s true!
+
+LIAM: Man, don’t I know it.
+
+MATT: He accepts the coin, shouts out to– he
+says, “Micahl!” And this female halfling comes
+
+rushing in. He says, “I would like for you to
+write a writ for me of success in clearing the
+
+"lower regions of the prison under the watchful eye
+of the Wardenhelm Poppin Drokrusher. I thank you.
+
+"And also, could we please have sent up immediately
+a,” he leans forward, “Gilda and Wallace Schuster.
+
+"They are on the second level in cell 12B. They
+have had their bail paid.” The halfling rushes
+
+off, some of the guards leave with her, and about
+20 or so minutes later you hear the footsteps
+
+return and there you see this couple. They pull
+forward, dirty, sallow, not very well-fed, but
+
+alive, and they both look bewildered. The man,
+who’s got a thick graying brown scruff and the
+
+hair a bit shaken from his form, he glances up at
+the rest of you. “I don’t understand what’s happening.”
+
+SAM: It’s all right.
+
+TALIESIN: We never understand what’s happening,
+either.
+
+MARISHA: Gilda? Wallace?
+
+MATT: The woman looks over. She has this long,
+curled, and tangled brownish-red hair. She goes,
+
+“Is this true? We’re free?”
+
+MARISHA: Why don’t we get outside and then we’ll
+talk?
+
+SAM: Let’s have a meat pie.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: With that, you guide the now
+no-longer-prisoners outside of the Gearhold
+
+Prison, and as the small door opens to lead them
+out into the late afternoon air, the sunlight hits
+
+them. And you see them blink and wince, and then
+look up and smile, as this is probably the first
+
+sunlight they’ve seen in six months. You can see a
+bit of glimmer as tears begin to form at the edge
+
+of their eyes and the two, the couple, look at
+each other and smile, and hold each other, and
+
+look back at the group of you and say, “Thank you,
+but why?”
+
+MARISHA: Let’s just say your kids made an
+impression on us.
+
+MATT: “Are they all right? Where are they?”
+
+SAM: They’re at your house, the butcher place?
+Don’t worry, we’ll take you there. They’re being
+
+kept safe by a tiny bird with a dagger.
+
+MATT: They look at you, and look both frightened
+by the words you say, and then equally frightened
+
+by the creature they now realize that is saying
+it, and go, “Right, right.”
+
+TALIESIN: Best not to think about it.
+
+SAM: Sometimes the people that help you are the
+least expected.
+
+MARISHA: I was going to say eclectic, but sure.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+LIAM: Thank heavens for little blessings.
+
+MATT: “Thank you very much. Can we go to our
+children, please?”
+
+ALL: Yes.
+
+MATT: With that, you guys all make your way back
+up the switchback path to the Idleworks Shelf,
+
+just as the sun begins to hit the mountains, the
+skies turning to the oranges and reds of the
+
+coming sunset. At this point, the people of the
+city begin to rise in energy once more as the
+
+whistles of a day’s work come to a close. The city
+beings to liven up once more into an air of
+
+celebration, music blasting around you on all
+sides.
+
+MARISHA: It’s like being in Vegas for more than 24
+hours. You’re like, “No! Not again! I can’t do
+
+"this for a third night in a row! Ugh!”
+
+TALIESIN: Roll for dubstep.
+
+MATT: As you guys push through the streets now,
+the celebration expanding and exploding throughout
+
+the vicinity, your still-lingering hangovers from
+the night before, mixed with your physically
+
+damaged selves, make you less jovial in this
+space. Eventually you make your way to the back to
+
+the location of the previously boarded-up butcher
+shop. It appears to be left alone, closed, locked,
+
+and as you left it.
+
+(whistling) (knocking)
+
+MARISHA: Oh, your way was way more cool.
+
+(whistling) (knocking)
+
+TALIESIN: It’s us. Open it up!
+
+MATT: You hear some shuffling and the door opens.
+Austin and Gail look past and open the door. As
+
+soon as Gail can say, “You’re back–” they look,
+and you can see their parents, right there, smile
+
+back at them. With that, they rush out, Gail and
+Austin, and wrap their arms around their mother
+
+and father. Behind them, skittering, Layla and
+Jude look past, and they run up as well and hold
+
+them. Now this family unit of six all brought
+together again, as filthy as they may be in their
+
+current garb and lifestyle, hold themselves
+amongst the glowing of distant fireworks going
+
+off, an unknowing celebration that the city holds
+for this family. Behind, you see Kiri shuffle out,
+
+see what’s happening, then also come forward and
+put her arms around the family and looks back at
+
+you with a smile. (like Jester) “Yes, I am a good
+girl.”
+
+ASHLEY: Oh my goodness.
+
+MARISHA: This is making me really emotional.
+
+LIAM: This could be our chance to find a good home
+for her.
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+MATT: Kiri steps away from the group, looks at the
+rest of you, takes the dagger out, steps forward
+
+and goes, (like Nott) “The Mighty Nein!”
+
+MARISHA: Kiri. (exhales)
+
+LIAM: You like these kids, Kiri?
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Okay.”
+
+LIAM: Ja?
+
+MATT: (like Caleb) “Ja.”
+
+LIAM: You know, you spend enough time with us–
+Beauregard and I here almost died tonight. You’re
+
+just a little girl. You should be playing with
+these kids, not playing with us. What about you,
+
+Mom and Dad?
+
+MATT: At this point, they’re barely paying
+attention. They look back and say,
+
+“I’m sorry, what?”
+
+TALIESIN: We have a request.
+
+MARISHA: A favor. In return–
+
+LIAM: In exchange– Beauregard.
+
+MARISHA: No, you were nailing it. We did a jinxies
+thing, yeah.
+
+MATT: Fjord steps in next to you as well, and
+goes, “Look, no children should be without their
+
+"parents, and we’re happy to have brought you back
+together. Be more careful. Make sure that if you
+
+"do anything that could put your kids at risk,
+don’t.” He looks over and defers back to you, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: We get into trouble quite a bit. I feel
+guilty bringing this young girl with us. We’ve
+
+gone to great lengths to get you out and all– I
+can’t speak for the group, but all I ask is that
+
+you give this girl some parents.
+
+MARISHA: Fjord’s right. No child should be
+separated from their parents. Unfortunately, this
+
+little one was.
+
+MATT: The parents look at each other, and down at
+the kids. The little girl, Layla, with her curled
+
+red hair, goes, “Does this mean she can stay?” and
+looks over at Kiri. Kiri looks between them and
+
+you, and looks temporarily conflicted and
+confused, but you can see a bit of understanding
+
+wash over. Kiri reaches over and takes from her
+pocket the dagger, steps forward, and turns it
+
+around, handle forward. Holds it out.
+
+MARISHA: You’ve learned.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Yes, I am very sweet.” She
+reaches down, and pulls out the music box. Slowly
+
+opens it after winding it.
+
+[music box plays]
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that’s just mean.
+
+MATT: (like Caleb) “She’s a pretty good egg.”
+Looks up at Caleb and rushes forward, and gives a
+
+big, warm hug.
+
+MARISHA: Shit. I turn to Gilda and Wallace and
+say: Look, I know another mouth to feed is a lot.
+
+It would mean a lot if you take her, but we’ll
+help you out. I reach in and I give them 50 gold
+
+from my stash. Should be enough to help for a
+little bit. Hopefully make up the difference.
+
+MATT: She accepts it, wide-eyed. “I don’t know
+what to say.”
+
+MARISHA: Well, I stole 75 gold from my friend
+without him being here to speak for it, so I feel
+
+like it’s fair.
+
+MATT: She steps back, and they look like they’re
+in shock still from these strangers that have come
+
+to their aid so heavily. Kiri pulls back and looks
+to you. (like Jester) “Don’t eat humans, okay?”
+
+MARISHA: Go give Jester a hug. I know she wished
+she’d be here for it.
+
+MATT: Jester, you see her arms twisted up and the
+eyes filled with water and she goes, “Oh! We’re
+
+"going to come back, right?”
+
+SAM: Yes, we’ll come back and check on Kiri. Be a
+good girl, Kiri.
+
+MATT: She gives a big hug and goes, “Kiri, you’re
+going to be so beautiful as you grow up, and this
+
+"family is going to take care of you and is going
+to be your new mother and father and you’ll have
+
+"this whole family here for you. Remember that no
+matter what’s happening and what you are doing,
+
+"the Traveler is always looking over you, and we
+are always– always thinking of you with love.”
+
+Jester turns around, and you can see the tears
+welling up in her eyes.
+
+MARISHA: I give Jester a hug.
+
+MATT: She takes you in there. Fjord steps forward
+and ruffles the feathers on the head and says,
+
+“You’re always a member. Maybe one day, you’ll be
+able to come back and use that dagger for
+
+something that’s alive.” Kiri turns back and looks
+to you. (like Nott) “Yeza was his name.”
+
+SAM: I guess everyone knows at this point, so it’s
+okay now.
+
+MATT: She gives you a hug.
+
+SAM: Thank you for listening to us.
+
+MATT: Looks to Molly and gives this distant
+stare.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so glad we understand each other.
+Take care of them.
+
+MATT: (like Molly) “Take care of them.” Looks to
+you, and comes up and cuddles up against your
+
+chest where she had slept the night before and
+(chirping).
+
+ASHLEY: Scratch those feathers.
+
+MATT: The feathers fluff up a bit.
+
+ASHLEY: Goodbye, Kiri. We will send you treasures
+from all of our travels.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Okay.”
+
+ASHLEY: We will miss you very much.
+
+MATT: Kiri turns back and steps beside the kids.
+The family looks out and goes, “If there’s ever
+
+"the opportunity to pay this back or forward, we
+will. Thank you.”
+
+MARISHA: You already are. Look at this handsome
+lot. You look like you need to be a vinyl decal on
+
+the back of a minivan.
+
+LIAM: A what?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m not even going to go there.
+
+MATT: More fireworks go off and the whole family
+looks up again, and there’s a moment where the
+
+family, as one single unit, pulling Kiri into it,
+Gilda looks at them all and says, “It’s been a
+
+"long time since I felt the need to celebrate. How
+about we all wash up and go out and take you for
+
+"flowers?” The kids brighten up, excited, and Kiri
+looks up happily and curiously looks back. They
+
+all shuffle into the house. The last look
+as Kiri looks back over her shoulder.
+
+(like Jester) “I am Kiri.” The door closes.
+
+SAM: That felt really good, guys!
+
+ASHLEY: It sure did.
+
+SAM: It’s nice being good people.
+
+MARISHA: That might be the first nice thing I’ve
+ever done.
+
+TALIESIN: Explains why your face is doing that, I
+suppose.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know what this emotion thing is.
+It’s weird.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s not a good look on you.
+
+MARISHA: It probably isn’t.
+
+TALIESIN: Come on, let’s go find a quiet place to
+sleep. I’m exhausted.
+
+MATT: Fjord, as you’re walking along back to your
+inn, goes, “Now, I know y'all did this because I
+
+"asked you to, and you weren’t sure if you wanted
+to. I want you to know that’s appreciated. You
+
+"went out on a limb for me and these kids. I’ll
+remember that. Anyway, come on.” As you guys make
+
+your way back to a more solemn evening, the
+celebration is wild. The Blushing Tankard Tavern
+
+is in the same crazy energy and music you possibly
+can expect, but you are too exhausted emotionally
+
+and physically. You get a drink, find your way
+back to your room, and crash out hard.
+
+TALIESIN: Long rest.
+
+MATT: Long rest to you all. The next morning you
+come to consciousness, your first morning not
+
+hungover for a lot of you, here in the city of
+Hupperdook. Now the city is yours to make your
+
+final business with.
+
+SAM: We can do more things in this city?
+
+MATT: Well, you haven’t gotten back to Tinkertop
+for your half of the deal.
+
+SAM: Yes, that’s right. I guess we should go visit
+Cleff.
+
+TALIESIN: Get your tinker toy.
+
+SAM: Who says it’s mine? It could be any of ours.
+I mean, mine’s a little busted, though, so it
+
+would be nice.
+
+MATT: As you hold it up, it goes (snapping).
+
+SAM: I can fix that. Probably.
+
+TALIESIN: Going to take it away.
+
+MARISHA: On the way, I look for someone who wasn’t
+the guy who hated us before selling more of those
+
+poppers, because I want to stock up before we get
+out of this godforsaken town.
+
+LIAM: I tag along with Beauregard.
+
+MATT: All right. You get another set of ten.
+
+MARISHA: Another set of ten. Yeah!
+
+MATT: I think it was two copper.
+
+TALIESIN: I will only stop if there’s something
+interesting in a window. Otherwise, I figure we’re
+
+heading back to pick up the crossbow.
+
+LIAM: Hey, Beauregard.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: That felt pretty good last night. Helping
+somebody.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, yeah.
+
+LIAM: Do something good.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it wasn’t too bad.
+
+LIAM: I get the sense that you have bigger plans
+than that, even. Cobalt. Monk. I get a sense.
+
+MARISHA: Honestly, I don’t really have a lot of
+plans. My entire life has been plans being made
+
+for me. So it’s nice not having plans. I ran away
+from the Cobalt Soul. I have ideas. I don’t know
+
+if ideas would count as plans.
+
+LIAM: Well, that’s just semantics. I have a feel
+about you. You and change. I don’t think that you
+
+and I have the same plans, but I think they might
+overlap. I would be willing to help you.
+
+MARISHA: I’d be willing to help you, under one
+condition. Can we agree to keep each other straight?
+
+LIAM: How do you mean?
+
+MARISHA: If either one of us tries to turn and do
+something stupid, or lean a little bit more evil.
+
+LIAM: Evil?
+
+MARISHA: Chaotic, whatever you want to call it.
+
+LIAM: Surely neither of us are evil, Beauregard.
+
+MARISHA: Anarchists? Let’s just make a pact if
+either one of us do anything stupid that maybe
+
+we’re each other’s failsafes.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I like that.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t think I want to hurt any more
+people and I don’t think you do either, so maybe
+
+if we keep each other from hurting other people.
+That’s not true. I do want to hurt people, just
+
+not people I like. Let’s hurt bad guys.
+
+LIAM: I think I can help you. I think you can help
+me. I think we can do some good here.
+
+MARISHA and LIAM: Deal.
+
+SAM and MARISHA: Skype high-five!
+
+MATT and TALIESIN: Skype-five.
+
+TALIESIN: Skype force five.
+
+MARISHA: Can you do the– give me a–
+
+LIAM: I will do my best, Beauregard.
+
+MATT: That’s amazing. Awesome. As that’s
+happening, you guys have reached the exterior of
+
+the Tinkertop Inventions shop.
+
+TALIESIN: If there was possible to buy some food,
+I want to have some camping food for the rest,
+
+like good stuff.
+
+MATT: High-quality provisions for the rest of the
+trip?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yeah, just really good food.
+
+ASHLEY: Stews.
+
+TALIESIN: Some meat, veggies. Just (grunts).
+
+MATT: If you drop a solid two gold–
+
+TALIESIN: Done!
+
+MATT: You have good road meals that’ll last–
+
+TALIESIN: We’re eating good!
+
+MATT: Oh, for the whole group? For the whole
+group, put five gold down and I’d say you guys
+
+have some of the finest fucking food you could
+have on the road going north. That is good eating.
+
+TALIESIN: Yep. We’re going to be eating really
+good.
+
+MATT: On the outskirts of the Tinkertop Inventions
+shack, you make your way on the inside and you
+
+see, in the process of feverishly sketching out
+designs, Cleff Tinkertop barely look up from his
+
+page. “Oh! Hello, good to see you all again. Thank
+you. Thank you for helping with that. I think,
+
+"based on some of these new designs I’m coming
+forward, they might be interested in a new
+
+"version! Perhaps a new design! Perhaps an update,
+if you will, based on the notes you gave me, so
+
+"here’s to hoping!”
+
+SAM: Okay. Worth a shot.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t know if a lesson was learned here,
+but all right, let’s continue on.
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe the lesson was for us. I’m not
+sure.
+
+MATT: “Can I help you with anything?”
+
+SAM: Well, we just came to say goodbye; we’re
+probably rolling out of town soon. And, you know,
+
+I mean, if you had an extra crossbow lying
+around.
+
+MATT: “Ha ha! Right, sorry, I forgot entirely!
+I’ll be right back.” He goes back and rummages and
+
+pulls out the fantastic, previously displayed
+Tinkertop Boltblaster 1000 and goes, “Thank you
+
+"for your help. I hope it serves you well. By the
+way, if there’s any problems, if you wouldn’t mind
+
+"making notes, and feel free to mail them off to me
+so I can perhaps improve on the next iteration.”
+
+SAM: A beta testing sort of a thing?
+
+MATT: “If you don’t mind. That’d be fantastic.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so excited.
+
+SAM: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
+
+TALIESIN: Ooh, nice.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+TALIESIN: Woo!
+
+SAM: Okay. Yes. Ugh.
+
+TALIESIN: That can happen. That’s okay.
+
+SAM: I love it. It’s great.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s very you. It’s very you.
+
+SAM: Thank you. Thank you, Cleff.
+
+MATT: “Of course, and thank you as well. Wherever
+you’re off to, safe travels!”
+
+MARISHA: Cleff, maybe if in the future we come
+back and need a repair or something spiffy, you’ll
+
+cut us a deal?
+
+MATT: “I think something can be arranged. I’ll be
+here!”
+
+MARISHA: And hey, I don’t know if you know the
+Schusters at all, but if you see a family walking
+
+around, little bird child, maybe watch over them
+for us.
+
+MATT: “That’s a very curious series of words
+you’ve strung together, but I’ll keep an eye out for you.”
+
+MARISHA: I acknowledge that, and thank you.
+
+MATT: “Course.”
+
+TALIESIN: Look at you, becoming a people person.
+Or at least a bird person.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck you, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Fuck you, too.
+
+MATT: “Well, if you’re leaving, you should say
+bye, Rissa!” Behind him, Rissa sits up with her
+
+goggles on. She was in the back currently working
+on something. Goes, “Oh, right, you’re off
+
+"already? You’re leaving?”
+
+TALIESIN: We got to get on the road.
+
+MATT: “Oh, well, it’s been fun.”
+
+TALIESIN: We can’t thank you enough. We’ll
+definitely come back in contact next time we’re
+
+rolling through town.
+
+MATT: “Do. Thank you for showing me a good time
+and for getting this old coot back to some sort of
+
+"interesting means of constructive work.”
+
+SAM: I’m sure he’s going to invent many new,
+excellent devices.
+
+TALIESIN: We leave her the drinking tokens.
+
+MATT: She goes, “Well, I mean, drinking by proxy,
+I’ll certainly take that!”
+
+TALIESIN: They need use. I think it’s fair.
+
+MATT: “Well. Next time, I’ll owe you a round.”
+
+TALIESIN: Very much taking you up on that.
+
+MATT: “Well, be safe. Take care. And ‘til the next
+time.” As you guys exit, you hear her say, “I
+
+"don’t think this design’s going to work, Dad.” He
+says, “No, trust me!” And the door closes behind you.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s going to end well.
+
+SAM: I think they’re on the road to recovery.
+
+TALIESIN: Something very positive’s going to come
+out of that relationship.
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+LIAM: Yasha!
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah?
+
+LIAM: What is on your mind? You’re very quiet.
+You’re not thinking about leaving us again, are you?
+
+ASHLEY: Why would you think that?
+
+LIAM: Well, you tend to go mum for a while, and
+then you’re gone. You’re very useful for us! We
+
+could do great things together, the not-nine of
+us. I hope you’re not thinking of leaving.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, I’m not at this moment. I think–
+and if I did, I would find my way back to you.
+
+Sometimes things need to be done.
+
+LIAM: Well, no one’s going to bully you into a
+decision, but we’re all happy to have you here.
+
+You know, my muscles are big. They can accomplish
+a lot, but we do better with you around.
+
+ASHLEY: Thank you, Caleb. I think you can manage
+just fine, but I will– I’m here for now.
+
+SAM: She’s not going anywhere! What are you,
+crazy, Caleb? She’s fine! Come on!
+
+LIAM: It was just a feeling I had.
+
+SAM: You’re crazy!
+
+LIAM: I understand.
+
+SAM: It’s fine!
+
+ASHLEY: What a strange feeling.
+
+MARISHA: What time is it?
+
+MATT: At this point– well, no, you slept through
+the night and you’ve woken up the next morning, so
+
+it’s pushing close to midday.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s get on our way soon.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. To Shitty Creek?
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s make our way.
+
+SAM: Is that where we’re going next?
+
+MATT: Fjord musters the cart, the horses,
+retrieves them from where they were stored during
+
+your stay here.
+
+SAM: Are we making our way out of town?
+
+MATT: Looks like it, unless you guys have anything
+else planned.
+
+SAM: On the way out of town– you said when we
+came into town there were some guards with
+
+pistols, with guns?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: Do we see any on the way out?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check, as you make your
+way through the bottom end of the city.
+
+SAM: 14.
+
+MATT: 14? Glancing through, there are two
+crownsguard that walk by, both gnomish. One of
+
+them appears to be carrying a heavy sword on the
+back. The other one does have some sort of strange
+
+contraption, like a firearm pistol at its side.
+
+SAM: I’m going to try to steal it.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check.
+
+MARISHA: Yes!
+
+SAM: With either Mage Hand, or my own hand,
+whatever’s–
+
+MATT: Up to you.
+
+SAM: Mage Hand.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+SAM: What am I doing? Sleight of hand?
+
+MATT: Sleight of hand, so your proficiency
+modifier plus your dex.
+
+SAM: Oh. 19, then. So not sleight of hand, this is
+a dexterity check.
+
+MATT: Well no, sleight of hand is– I’m sorry, no,
+it’s a sleight of hand check.
+
+SAM: Oh, well then it’s 22.
+
+MATT: 22, yeah. My brain. I was thinking of
+unlocking. It glides past over you. The guard’s
+
+none the wiser.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: It is loaded with a single shot.
+
+SAM: Great.
+
+MATT: So you have a single-shot pistol with no
+ammunition.
+
+SAM: It’s loaded with a bullet, though, right?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: Okay, cool. Great. That’s all I care about.
+
+MATT: All right. With that–
+
+MARISHA: If you’re deserted on an island, to kill
+yourself with?
+
+MATT: In those final dark moments! This campaign
+goes really dark suddenly! With that, you guys
+
+head out past the fences, the artillery
+construction ranges, the plumes of smoke and
+
+steam, the dual-shelved levels of the gnomish city
+of Hupperdook, with the people, adventures that
+
+you met and left behind, and forge your way on
+further up the Crispvale Roadway heading towards
+
+the Glory Run Road, that heads north, towards
+Nogvurot and the Shadycreek Run. Heading on for
+
+the next better half of the day, you make a fair
+amount of travel, before the sun eventually sets
+
+before you can reach the crossroads. Eventually
+having to pull off to the side of the road to make
+
+camp for the first night there. You head off your
+general curious range there, you set up a small
+
+camp. Who’s taking first watch?
+
+LIAM: Nott and I.
+
+MATT: Okay. Nott and Caleb, if you wouldn’t mind
+rolling a perception check with advantage, or both
+
+of you roll it individually.
+
+SAM: You go.
+
+LIAM: With advantage?
+
+MATT: No, he rolled, and now you.
+
+SAM: I got a nine.
+
+LIAM: You got– okay. Here comes. Oh, big eight.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys take your first watch.
+Nothing. Though you’re not paying much attention,
+
+nothing seems to transpire during that first watch
+period. You finish it without issue. The second
+
+watch come up. Fjord goes ahead and says, “I’ll
+take it.”
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll join you.
+
+MATT: “You’ll join as well, Yasha?”
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys take your second watch.
+Fjord and Yasha are currently situated there. Two
+
+of you are up. It’s now pushing past maybe one or
+two in the morning. The fire is burned low to
+
+embers at this point, and you’re both staying
+close for heat. Fjord’s sitting there looking, and
+
+goes, “I’m kind of proud of all this, you know?”
+
+ASHLEY: I am, too. I’m actually very surprised at
+the choices we’ve made. Especially the choices
+
+that I’ve made.
+
+MATT: “Yeah. A lot of these folks have surprised
+me.” A little voice goes like, (as Jester) “Some
+
+"people are trying to sleep.”
+
+ASHLEY: Sorry, Jester.
+
+MATT: “But I’m awake now.” Fjord goes like, “Let’s
+take a walk.” Fjord stands up, Jester stands up,
+
+and the three of you step away for a minute. Fjord
+looks up at the stars and goes, “Dreams’ve been
+
+"weird. For all the visions, the darkness out
+there, it’s good to know that, somehow maybe we’re
+
+"all putting a little bit of light in there too.”
+
+ASHLEY: That’s a very nice way to put it.
+
+MATT: “Who knows? Maybe we’ll find ourselves a
+path somewhere along the coast in the long run.
+
+"Could show you some of my hometown. Maybe some of
+yours, but maybe not quite as well put together.”
+
+Jester interjects at this point and goes, “Well,
+if we do go back, I could show you– if it is safe
+
+"depending on what my mom says– the places where I
+grew up, the beautiful shorelines. Have you been
+
+"to the Menagerie Coast before?”
+
+ASHLEY: “I’ve never been to the Coast.”
+
+MATT: “Oh, it is so beautiful. It would be
+incredible.”
+
+ASHLEY: I’ve seen–
+
+MATT: Her mouth isn’t making noise. You go to
+talk. No sound comes out of it either. There’s a
+
+look of confusion amongst the three of you. I need
+you to make a wisdom saving throw, Yasha.
+
+What did you roll?
+
+ASHLEY: I rolled 11.
+
+MATT: In that moment of panic, you go to reach for
+your weapon, and suddenly your muscles seize up
+
+and your body is unable to move. Your eyes glance
+back at Fjord, who seems to be in the same
+
+position. The falchion apparates in his hand, but
+he is unable to move. Jester is the only one who
+
+is like– As she turns to run for the group, and
+impacts the chest of a dark humanoid figure who’s
+
+standing there who grabs and holds her in place.
+Four other dark figures emerge from the shadows
+
+around and grab and immediately put their arms
+around you. You try and resist from the spell. In
+
+fact, make another wisdom saving throw.
+
+SAM: Oh god.
+
+ASHLEY: Natural 20.
+
+SAM: Whoa!
+
+MATT: Fjord maintains it, but all this in absolute
+silence. There is no sound, just shadows and
+
+starlight. As you’re now being grappled by two
+men, the spell breaks from you. However, they’re
+
+still holding you. As you feel a gag pulled over
+your mouth from one of them, the other one begins
+
+to throw rope around you. You’re looking over the
+side and you can see another gag showed into
+
+Fjord’s mouth. Manacles are being shoved onto his
+arms and legs. He’s unable to move. Jester tries
+
+to break free off the opposite– not with a
+natural seven. She’s kicking and screaming, but
+
+there is no sound coming out and as she’s pushed
+down, another figure comes up and throws shackles
+
+onto her arms behind her and her legs. She’s
+yelling and yelling and a gag is pulled over her
+
+mouth. What are you doing?
+
+ASHLEY: Am I–?
+
+MATT: There’s two people that are now coming to
+grapple you.
+
+ASHLEY: I take out my weapon and I’m ready to go.
+
+MATT: All right. You pull your weapon. Make an
+attack, if you want.
+
+ASHLEY: Yes. Okay. 25.
+
+MATT: 25 hits. Roll damage on that.
+
+TALIESIN: Where was this?
+
+SAM: She’s a bad motherfucker.
+
+ASHLEY: 18?
+
+MATT: 18 damage. Oof! You have a second attack, if
+you like.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, that’s a nine.
+
+MATT: Your first one impacts one guy and there’s a
+splash of blood, silent. Once again, no sound
+
+here. The second one swings wide and the other guy
+captures it. He grabs your arm and pulls you in.
+
+He’s going to make an athletics check against you.
+Make an athletics or acrobatics check to try and
+
+not be grappled.
+
+ASHLEY: 13?
+
+MATT: That’s not going to make it. He grapples and
+holds you in place. The other one takes and slams
+
+manacles onto your wrists and pulls it back,
+wrenching the blade from your grasp. Your arms are
+
+now locked behind you into these metal manacles.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I try to scream out in some way to the
+Stormlord?
+
+MATT: You go ahead and scream. Make a straight
+wisdom check.
+
+ASHLEY: Three.
+
+MATT: In that moment, as you try and scream out,
+your vocal cords strained by the sheer force of
+
+your voice, no sound comes out. Looking up in the
+sky, there isn’t a single cloud in sight. Probably
+
+for the first time in weeks, since you’ve been in
+this side of Wildemount, it is a clear night. No
+
+sign of clouds. No sign of storm. In that moment,
+as you’re screaming out, the gag gets put into
+
+your mouth and tied behind your head. You glance
+over and you can see Jester being dragged. Now the
+
+manacles affixed to the back of her ankles and
+she’s being pulled through the grass, Fjord a few
+
+feet behind her. Still unable to really make out
+the shapes of these hooded figures that are
+
+pulling them through and you are shoved to the
+ground.
+
+ASHLEY: Are my legs still free?
+
+MATT: Your ankles are about to be manacled.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I kick?
+
+MATT: Make another athletics check.
+
+ASHLEY: 25.
+
+MATT: 25, all righty. With that, you manage to
+kick free and they can’t quite get ahold on it and
+
+one figure steps forward, shorter than the others,
+stout looking, and goes, “Oh for the–” and his
+
+voice dissipates as he gets closer. I need you to
+make another wisdom saving throw.
+
+ASHLEY: 17.
+
+MATT: You’re still kicking and breaking free.
+They’re going to try to restrain you once more.
+
+Roll one more athletics check.
+
+ASHLEY: Eight.
+
+MATT: No, that’s not going to do it. As much as
+you struggle right now, you’re by yourself. Now it
+
+looks like two figures holding you down, and the
+third one that is frustrated that you have
+
+resisted a spell a second time. They get the
+manacles on the back of your legs. Your arms are
+
+held behind, your ankles are now pulled up towards
+where your hands are, and you are face down in the
+
+wet grass in the middle of the night, as you feel
+your body now being dragged by the chains.
+
+Dragged, dragged. Your mouth is filled with the
+taste of the sweat that’s poured down, that’s
+
+soaked into the gag that’s now forced in your
+mouth. Grass and grime and mud are grinding
+
+against your face. All you can see is the dark
+shadow there and the bits of star and sky ahead,
+
+until eventually you’re lifted upright, right back
+once more. Immediately, you can see a series of
+
+wide carts, large travel caravan carts that are
+low set, covered with piles of goods. Looks like
+
+sacks and a couple of crates, fairly
+sparse-looking for travel caravan crates, but what
+
+you see travel up and down the roads all the time.
+There are three of them with horses to the front
+
+of them. You can see about eight other figures
+around these carts. As you’re up held there, with
+
+your mouth gagged and your arms and legs bound,
+you look off to the side and you can see Fjord and
+
+Jester also struggling and unable to find their
+way about. Jester begins to flex against it and
+
+you can see her strong physique pushing against
+it, and she gets smacked upside the cheek by one
+
+of the men that pulls her and holds her in place.
+You hear a voice speak up and say, “Hey, look what
+
+"we found, eh?” You see a dark figure step closer
+to you. Glancing up, through the minimal light, a
+
+human man, tall and brutish. His head is
+completely bald on top, revealing a scarred and
+
+tattooed design across one side that curls down
+into his lightly leathered armored chest. His
+
+thick brow hangs over two cold, uncaring eyes. He
+nods in approval to these three acquisitions that
+
+you are, revealing a number of golden teeth
+between his cracked lips. His muscular body is
+
+mostly obscured by a cloak and hood beyond that
+armor. The thug goes, “Lorenzo, your instincts are
+
+"sharp. Looks like we found ourselves a sudden
+bounty.” The heavy figure, who hasn’t spoken at
+
+this point, kneels down and grabs the chins of
+each of you. Grabs Jester, who is now shaking,
+
+with anger and fear in her eyes, looks both sides
+of her face, goes to Fjord and lifts the chin,
+
+comes to you and grabs–
+
+ASHLEY: I spit in his face.
+
+MATT: The gag is right there, so you– (coughing)
+“Looks like this one’s got some spirit too.
+
+”(chuckles) Our prospects are good with this find.
+Two divine-blood and one half-beast. I’m pleased.
+
+“Toss them in with the others. We’ll head back. Our
+cages are at capacity now.” He stands back up and
+
+turns around and heads back to the carts, as
+you’re all being thrown to your sides again and
+
+being dragged through the wet grass and dirt, over
+rocks. You can feel gashes being pulled across
+
+your face and shoulders as you’re being pulled
+through the dirt. You���re righted once more and two
+
+more goons lift you up towards the back of this
+mostly empty cart. It seems just small piles and
+
+boxes, and then suddenly your vision shifts, as if
+you’re being pulled through a curtain and these
+
+carts are piled high with cages. And the opened
+one that the three of you are showed into clangs
+
+behind you, this five feet by five feet box. As
+the three of you are jammed into each other
+
+uncomfortably, you look about inside, under what
+looks to be a darkened tarp that covers the cages.
+
+Glancing out the side of your eye, you can see in
+the one next to you, that there are other dark
+
+humanoid figures quietly whimpering and not
+moving. You hear “Heyup!” and the horses begin to
+
+pick up speed, as the creaking of wheels turning
+get faster and the feel of the cart beginning to
+
+move. And that’s where we’re going to finish
+tonight’s session.
+
+(groaning)
+
+SAM: Was she taken and Fjord and Jester?
+
+TALIESIN: The three of them, yep.
+
+SAM: All in the same cart.
+
+TALIESIN: Yep.
+
+ASHLEY: Fuck.
+
+MARISHA: My heart.
+
+SAM: We heard it with our passive perception.
+
+MARISHA: They were in a Silence spell.
+
+SAM: Oh, I forgot to tell you that I never went to
+sleep and I was watching the whole time!
+
+MARISHA: Better be some dope investigating at the
+top when we come back.
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe you hit him enough so that you
+left a clue.
+
+MATT: It’s possible.
+
+SAM: Well yeah, blood.
+
+MATT: There were some struggle.
+
+MARISHA: Blood! Splatter! Some CSI shit! Up in
+here!
+
+SAM: Yeah, we’ll get a black light.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: We’re going to name it Caruso.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we’ll have dope one-liners.
+
+ASHLEY: Yup.
+
+MARISHA: The Who. It’s going to be great.
+
+LIAM: Oh man, what a foursome. Holy shit.
+
+MATT: It’s going to be interesting.
+
+ASHLEY: This was too much! Kiri and then this?
+
+LIAM: We did the right thing with Kiri.
+
+ASHLEY: My heart.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+MATT: Love you guys.
+
+MARISHA: We didn’t kill Fjord and Jester, though!
+By puppeting them. We took some money, but that’s
+
+a good cost for not killing them.
+
+LIAM: We did drain Laura’s coffers, though.
+
+ASHLEY: Just a little.
+
+LIAM: There was that.
+
+TALIESIN: To be fair, it’s not like the money
+would do her any good right now.
+
+MARISHA: That 75 gold?
+
+TALIESIN: They’re going to take all of that, so if
+anything–
+
+MATT: Well, she didn’t take her haversack with her
+when she parted with you guys.
+
+MARISHA: So we have the haversack. And if they get
+disarmed–
+
+TALIESIN: Really, it’s our money now.
+
+SAM: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: You can take that up with Laura.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to have access to this
+haversack for a while, I’m just saying. Sorry.
+
+MATT: Oh boy.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh boy. I’m going to get in trouble.
+
+MATT: Love you, Ashley.
+
+ASHLEY: Love you.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh god! No!
+
+MATT: She goes back to New York. You’ll hop in
+when you can.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll hop in when I can.
+
+LIAM: No, she doesn’t! Is that true?
+
+ASHLEY: What?
+
+LIAM: You’re leaving?
+
+ASHLEY: Yep.
+
+MATT: He knows that.
+
+LIAM: Don’t go.
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+LIAM: Stay here! And play D&D for weeks and years
+at the old folks’ home.
+
+MATT and ASHLEY: I know.
+
+MARISHA: We’re just selfish.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we are.
+
+ASHLEY: But Skyping isn’t the same, yeah?
+
+LIAM: No, I feel like I’m in a bunker underneath
+the ocean.
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+MARISHA: You sound like it.
+
+LIAM: There’s just a half a second of delay and
+that’s all it takes to make feel like I’m 80 feet away.
+
+TALIESIN: No, it’s like playing D&D with General
+Zod. I mean I’m happy to do it, but it is a little weird.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a little much.
+
+LIAM: Can I be Terence Stamp?
+
+MATT: It’s true.
+
+TALIESIN: Bless you.
+
+MATT: Thank you, Liam, for making it.
+
+MARISHA and ASHLEY: Thank you, Liam!
+
+SAM: Thank you, Matt for making this game work
+with half of a crew.
+
+LIAM: –Baryshnikov of Dungeons & Dragons.
+
+MARISHA: Congrats to Laura and Travis!
+
+SAM: I’m sure they’re sound asleep right now. Just
+getting a good night’s sleep.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Oh yeah, the dads get to laugh now.
+
+TALIESIN: Never again.
+
+SAM: The first night is rough!
+
+LIAM: Just you wait, Travis Willingham! The
+chickens are all coming home to roost!
+
+TALIESIN: This is the most complicated revenge
+plan I’ve ever heard.
+
+MARISHA; I know! These fucking assholes are like,
+“One of us! When are you going to join our
+
+"misery?!” And I’m like, “No!”
+
+MATT: We’re good!
+
+LIAM: Not misery.
+
+TALIESIN: Sleep is all gone.
+
+MARISHA: No, it’s not misery. It’s beautiful and
+amazing and incredible.
+
+MATT: All right, we’re going to go so I can go to
+sleep because it’s been a very long day.
+
+TALIESIN; It’s been a very long day!
+
+MARISHA: The day’s not over!
+
+ASHLEY: No!
+
+MARISHA: For me, at least!
+
+MATT: I know. That’s okay.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s move.
+
+MATT: Okay. Well guys, we’re off next week. We’ll
+miss you then. We’ll leave you on this fantastic
+
+cliffhanger for the next two weeks and we’ll pick
+up from there with a guest or two which we’ll
+
+announce as we finalize the schedule. Yeah! It
+means we have two guests and one guest may have
+
+on-camera work that is waiting to hear if they can
+make that first session, so we’ll find out.
+
+(singing) The life of the actor! But yes, we’ll
+have announcements soon on that. In the meantime,
+
+guys, thank you so much for coming with us. We
+love you, and is it Thursday yet? Good night!
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Hello everybody, and welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
+Dungeons & Dragons.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Now from our own studio!
+
+TALIESIN: It’s so weird!
+
+MATT: I know, not a whole lot has changed at the
+moment. A few things, a few little bells and
+
+whistles here. But yeah, we’re at our own place,
+which is crazy.
+
+TALIESIN: This is a crazy thing above us.
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+LIAM: We’re surrounded with people in white robes.
+I don’t know why.
+
+SAM: Just keep saying Fidelio.
+
+TALIESIN: Fidelio.
+
+MATT: Perfect. So welcome, glad you guys can join
+us. Guys, still with the clap thing too much.
+
+Before we jump into tonight’s game, let’s get
+through our announcements. First and foremost, our
+
+fantastic sponsor for this evening, and has been
+for quite some time, our friends at D&D Beyond!
+
+SAM: D&D Beyond!
+
+MATT: Sam, if you want to take that away.
+
+SAM: Yes, D&D Beyond wanted to announce that their
+826LA donation campaign has officially come to an
+
+end, and they’ve raised $11,400 for 826LA based on
+114 natural ones rolled through the end of June.
+
+We are terrible, but our bad luck is the kids’
+good fortune. The main thing that people have been
+
+wondering and talking about on The Facebooks and
+stuff is the new baby. Travis and Laura aren’t
+
+here, you guys might have noticed, and everyone’s
+like, “How was the birth? How did it all go down
+
+“two Thursdays ago?” So I have taken a little
+license, but I have scripted a bit of a radio play
+
+that we’re all going to participate in to show our
+viewers how it all went down two Thursdays ago,
+
+and how the birth came to be. Taliesin will be
+narrating, I will be playing the role of Travis,
+
+Marisha will be playing the role of Laura.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, Laura.
+
+SAM: Liam will be the doctor.
+
+LIAM: A real job, Dad!
+
+SAM: And Matt will be a couple of different roles,
+including Matt Mercer.
+
+MATT: Oh, I can probably do that.
+
+SAM: We’re going to see what happens, this is a
+first performance of its kind. Take it away, Taliesin.
+
+TALIESIN: Exactly two weeks ago, at the Willingham
+house.
+
+SAM: Babe, can you bring me some onion rings and
+Miller Ice with lime? The Cowboys game starts in
+
+six weeks and I want to be ready.
+
+MARISHA: Darling, something magical is happening.
+Our boy, the magical light that will illuminate
+
+the universe, will join us soon.
+
+SAM: Huh, what?! Right now?! But the Cowboys!
+
+MARISHA: Travis, dear, your stallion is galloping
+to earth, humanity must welcome him with loving arms.
+
+SAM: Ugh, I’ll get the stupid hospital bag.
+
+TALIESIN: Later, in the hospital waiting room.
+
+SAM: Hey, Matt, heads up, Laura’s having that
+stupid baby.
+
+MATT: Oh yeah, no problem, I’ll just throw out the
+next three weeks of story I planned out and
+
+totally rework everything to accommodate this. I
+don’t need to sleep. Ever.
+
+SAM: Cool, bro. Hey, can you also tape the Dallas
+Cowboys game for me?
+
+TALIESIN: Meanwhile, inside the delivery room.
+
+LIAM: Okay, Mrs. Willingham.
+
+MARISHA: It’s Bailey.
+
+LIAM: Oh right, sorry. Anyway, I have checked your
+charts and you should be in a lot of pain right now.
+
+MARISHA: I feel nothing but the sweet nectar of
+Mother Nature coursing through me. My love
+
+radiates like luminescent rainbows that will
+create a new life this day.
+
+LIAM: Really? Well, you should get ready for a
+long labor, this one could take up to 36 hours–
+
+MATT: (infant crying)
+
+MARISHA: It is done.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: The mortal world has received its divine
+cherub.
+
+LIAM: What?! That’s medically impossible! You
+didn’t even push!
+
+MARISHA: Does one need push for the summer to
+shine down its radiance upon us? No, we merely
+
+bask in its glory. Lo, my baby is perfection.
+
+MATT: Yes, I am perfection. Mother, I bring news
+from the womb. The newly revamped digital
+
+character sheet from D&D Beyond has released!
+What’s been added: improved desktop and tablet
+
+views, better at a glance information, additional
+ad hoc customization, custom themes, shareable
+
+links, and an updated PDF export. To celebrate,
+D&D Beyond is giving away a complete legendary
+
+bundle to a random viewer. To enter to win, go to
+Twitter.com/DnDBeyond (‘n’, not ’&’), and reply to
+
+the pinned tweet with a shareable link for one of
+your D&D Beyond characters. The giveaway ends this
+
+Sunday at midnight PM.
+
+MARISHA: You are a miracle baby. I love you.
+
+MATT: I love you, Mama Willingham.
+
+MARISHA: It’s Bailey.
+
+TALIESIN: And scene.
+
+SAM: Thank you guys, this was great. That was
+theater!
+
+MATT: And strangely accurate.
+
+MARISHA: That was handed to us two minutes ago.
+
+SAM: You were fantastic as Laura Bailey.
+
+LIAM: It was like Travis was here!
+
+SAM: Yeah, my Travis is pretty good. Also from D&D
+Beyond, next Wednesday, July 18 at 1:00 PM
+
+Pacific, & BEYOND, a new weekly stream hosted by
+Adam Bradford and Todd Kenreck, kicks off with
+
+super-special guest Matthew Mercer.
+
+MATT: Yay!
+
+SAM: Did you know that? Okay, cool. Each week, the
+show will cover not only D&D, but also the guest’s
+
+other passions outside of D&D, like D&D.
+
+MATT: Maybe they shouldn’t have started with me.
+
+SAM: Shenanigans will ensue, so don’t miss it. Be
+sure to check it out at Twitch.tv/dndbeyond to
+
+watch. That’s our sponsor shoutout.
+
+MATT: Boom! Well done, Sam. Laura and Travis,
+direct all that fury at Sam, please.
+
+LIAM: Send your emails.
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam. A couple of quick notes
+here: we are headed to San Diego Comic-Con next
+
+week for our Critical Role panel and, as we
+announced today, we’re also going to New York
+
+Comic-Con later this year. For details on either
+of those events, go to Critrole.com for all the
+
+information. It’s there for you. The “Nott the
+Best Detective Agency” shirt is up in the store
+
+right now. Once again, head to shop.critrole.com
+to check it out. Our fantastic, terrible detectives.
+
+SAM: We’ll see. Tonight.
+
+MATT: We’ll see. Yeah. Starting this week, the
+Wyrmwood giveaways are back for Critical Role
+
+intermission. The giveaways will be hosted on the
+Critical Role Twitch channel, however, and moving
+
+forward, so when we’re coming to the break, if you
+want to jump over to the Critical Role Twitch,
+
+it’s Twitch.tv/criticalrole. There, you can enter
+the Wyrmwood giveaways. Keep an eye out for that
+
+and we’ll remind you before we jump to the break
+as well. You can watch our hosted stream and our
+
+sweepstakes there, at that location. As a
+reminder, Talks Machina, our after-discussion show
+
+about whatever transpires here at this table, is
+every Tuesday evening. The next episode will be
+
+next Tuesday at 7:00 PM Pacific time, hosted by
+our fantastic Brian W. Foster, if he can get away
+
+from Lancaster long enough. He’ll be giving out
+prizes for Gif of the Week, for Fanart of the
+
+Week, and all that fun stuff, so check it out on
+Tuesday. Other than that, let’s go ahead and jump
+
+in to tonight’s episode of Critical Role.
+
+SAM: (baby-like wailing)
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: And welcome back.
+
+SAM: Come in, Harry, come in. Take off your
+robes.
+
+MATT: So. Welcome back. Last we left off, The
+Mighty Nein were making their way north after
+
+making a deal with the Gentleman in Zadash. They
+had completed the first of two tasks for him, the
+
+second one requiring them to make their way to the
+northern city of Shadycreek Run, outside of the
+
+Empire, to meet with a business operative of his,
+who had been busy with some other elements and
+
+needed some help to reconnect about what their
+business together was. Along this journey, you had
+
+made a stop in the gnomish city of Hupperdook,
+where you discovered the work-hard-play-hard
+
+gnomish society, got all your money taken from
+you, got it returned to you as you found out the
+
+thieves were the young children of a family, the
+parents of which had been arrested and had been
+
+imprisoned for a while. You went to the prison,
+helped destroy one of their long-haywire
+
+guardians, and paid off the rest of the fine for
+those parents, to set them free, returning them to
+
+their children, and decided to leave your
+temporary companion for a while, Kiri, with them,
+
+as a safer means of continuing her journey, now
+with her new family.
+
+With that, you gathered your things, found
+yourself a better crossbow, and began heading back
+
+on the trail along the Crispvale Road and making
+your way northward. There, you had set up camp for
+
+the evening about a day’s travel outside of
+Hupperdook, and during the night, while Yasha and
+
+Fjord were taking their watch, wakening Jester
+with their conversation, and the three of them
+
+deciding to step away from the camp as not to wake
+the rest of you, they were… Well, they went missing.
+
+SAM: We don’t know.
+
+MATT: We begin today’s story as morning slowly
+creeps over the distant mountains. The cold,
+
+frosted dew on the tops of the nearby grasses
+glistening like tiny crystals, the bits of
+
+sunlight begin to just break past the ridge. The
+sky, previously clear the night before showing the
+
+stars above, now is matted with cloud cover and
+small breaks that show the blue sky above. The
+
+cold weather is definitely shaking you awake as
+you all begin to come to, rubbing your eyes.
+
+Glancing about the cold atmosphere, you come to
+the hard, dirt ground patch that you had cleared
+
+out for your evening’s rest, your packs and tents
+ready to be reassembled… But it’s just the four
+
+of you.
+
+SAM: Jester, I need some pocket bacon for
+breakfast. Jester? Jester– oh, she’s probably
+
+taking a dump in the woods.
+
+MARISHA: I think I have some pocket bacon still.
+
+SAM: Oh, can I have some?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. It’s a little moldy.
+
+SAM: Oh, that’s even better. (eating noises)
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Fjord never came back after watch last
+night.
+
+LIAM: I stand up and scan the area.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: What is that? That’s a six plus something.
+Nine.
+
+MATT: Looking about, there is a faint mist that is
+still burning off that clouds your vision far
+
+enough to the point where you can’t quite see some
+elements of the mountain range you had just come
+
+from, but glancing about around you, there’s no
+sign of your three companions. There’s no visuals
+
+that guide you to where they might be.
+
+MARISHA: Where’s Yasha? She’s gone too.
+
+SAM: She does that sometimes. I’m sure it’s
+nothing.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, but–
+
+TALIESIN: Fjord?
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: Jester?
+
+TALIESIN: The Traveler’s bullshit!
+
+SAM: That’s playing–
+
+TALIESIN: That really would’ve worked.
+
+SAM: That’s playing with fire.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to check the tents. I’m going
+to check the tents to see if their stuff is still there.
+
+MATT: As you go about to their sleeping
+arrangement spaces, everything except for whatever
+
+they had on them as they took their watch is still
+there. The haversack is left behind, the rest of
+
+their goods lying on the ground where they were
+left.
+
+SAM: Their personal belongings and stuff?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: Falchion?
+
+MATT: The falchion’s always with him.
+
+MARISHA: Right, but his holster thingy. Right?
+Didn’t he have a holster thing, or did I just
+
+imagine that because he’s Texblade?
+
+MATT: He would have a belt with pouches and such,
+but no, that was on him at the time.
+
+SAM: His spats and spurs?
+
+MATT: Those are not there, unfortunately.
+
+SAM: Oh, wow.
+
+MATT: Essentially, everything but the equipment
+they had on them– in fact, if you look, you can
+
+see Jester’s shield is there, currently
+untouched.
+
+MARISHA: It’s not right.
+
+TALIESIN: Yasha’s stuff is still here?
+
+MATT: Yasha doesn’t have much on her. Whatever she
+does have, she generally keeps on her, so she
+
+hasn’t left anything behind.
+
+TALIESIN: So there’s nothing behind?
+
+LIAM: Are their weapons here?
+
+MATT: You don’t see any weapons. Yasha keeps her
+weapon on her at all times; Fjord, from what you
+
+understand, weirdly never seems to have need. But
+Jester’s weapon is left next to the shield as well
+
+as you begin to rummage through.
+
+SAM: I’ll take a swig to calm my morning nerves
+and start searching around to see if there’s any
+
+notes or any signs of anything around.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: Okay. That’s terrible.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s unbelievably bad.
+
+SAM: That’s an eight.
+
+MATT: All right then. As you begin to rummage
+around in the nearby grasses, tossing over the
+
+remains of their left behind materials, even
+pushing through the fire just in case some of them
+
+may have fallen in, no sign.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to check the road for fresh
+tracks, see if anything looks like it was disturbed.
+
+MATT: You’d make an investigation check then.
+
+MARISHA: Are there trees nearby?
+
+MATT: Not within the next mile or so.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, for fuck’s sake. Same roll. Two.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: I am going to sit down and bring Frumpkin
+out, and pull out my book and begin to do what’s
+
+needed to cast it again– Find Familiar– but I’m
+going to turn Frumpkin into, uh… a peregrine falcon.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Whoa.
+
+MARISHA: That was very specific for an “uh” to
+come before it.
+
+MATT: (laughs) So, as you are both losing
+yourselves amongst the nearby grasses, and trying
+
+to look for any sign of where they may have been,
+you are focusing on your spell. What are you
+
+doing, Beauregard?
+
+MARISHA: Can I see if I see any grass that’s been
+laid down, like a direction that there might be
+
+people who have walked through?
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a natural one.
+
+SAM: Oh my god, we’re not even going to know
+they’re gone.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: They’re literally scarecrows in the
+background.
+
+LIAM: They’re probably skinny dipping somewhere!
+
+MATT: This is amazing.
+
+SAM: We got a two, a two, a one. What was your
+first roll?
+
+LIAM: I rolled a six, which turned into a nine.
+
+SAM: Okay, so six is our top roll so far.
+
+MATT: Knocking it out of the park, y'all.
+
+TALIESIN: We are children lost at a Ross Dress for
+Less. We’re never going to see our parents again.
+
+It’s all over.
+
+MARISHA: First roll in the new studio, it’s a
+one!
+
+MATT: We’ll get them out now! In the time that you
+guys have begun to shout, you’re continuing to
+
+shout their names out, and forge through the
+nearby grasses. Caleb, you complete your spell,
+
+and Frumpkin’s form suddenly, slowly shifts, then,
+with a puff of steam and smoke, turns into the
+
+falcon. Lands on your shoulder. (caws)
+
+LIAM: I know, I am sorry. I will change you back
+as fast as I can. I need you to look for the three
+
+that you do not see here. The green one, the blue
+one, and the goth one. Go!
+
+MATT: You watch as Frumpkin takes off into the sky
+and does a few loops. Go ahead and make a
+
+perception check from a bird’s eye view, which
+makes it a little easier.
+
+TALIESIN: (cawing)
+
+LIAM: Natural 20.
+
+TALIESIN: Hey! Thank God.
+
+MATT: There you go! When humanity fails, bring in
+the hawks.
+
+MARISHA: We know nature is better at everything.
+
+MATT: With a quick, singular pass overhead, you
+watch as Frumpkin sends you an immediate bit of
+
+information. You focus through the eyes, and
+glancing down, you see a clearing where a large
+
+portion of grass, maybe about 60 or so feet from
+where you guys are, has been pushed down. And you
+
+see tracks and drag marks and grooves in the dirt.
+
+LIAM: Oh shit. There was a– This way! I come out
+of it so I don’t trip on rocks. There’s a struggle
+
+this way. And I lead the group back to this.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys rush over, and there you
+can see on the ground this patch of disturbed
+
+grass that has been pushed down, along with the
+dirt that has been jammed and shoved up into small
+
+side piles and trenches that were dug in. There’s
+definitely signs of a struggle here. At a quick
+
+glance, looking around, footprints and signs,
+there looks to be somewhere between five to eight
+
+sets of footprints you can see from all different
+angles. And you can see three grooves being
+
+dragged through the dirt into the grass, towards
+the road a little bit northward.
+
+SAM: Can we follow those grooves?
+
+MATT: Yeah. You guys go ahead and follow these the
+best you can, eventually making your way to the
+
+outer side of the Crispvale Road, the path that
+you were on already, but a little ways north of
+
+where you were. And there you can see the grooves
+end, and a number of sets of heavy wagon wheels
+
+begin, or at least have previously pulled off the
+trail and then pushed themselves back onto the road.
+
+MARISHA: So it’s impossible to tell if it’s the
+same one?
+
+SAM: Can we see which direction those wagon tracks
+went in?
+
+MATT: It’s hard to tell which direction wagon
+tracks go in, necessarily. Make a survival check.
+
+SAM: Survival. Nine.
+
+MATT: (laughs) Could be going north. Could be
+going south. You’re not entirely sure.
+
+SAM: That narrows it down! It’s not east or west,
+guys!
+
+MATT: Northeast or southwest.
+
+SAM: God damn it!
+
+MARISHA: Well, that’s more narrow. When it was
+going on the road, was it going towards the
+
+direction we were going, or were we following it?
+
+MATT: You’re not entirely certain. The tracks seem
+to be traveling either in the northeast direction
+
+that the road goes that you were traveling, or
+heading back towards Hupperdook. What you do
+
+notice, though, and what keys you in that this has
+something to do with this, is the tracks grind off
+
+the road by about five or ten feet, and that’s
+where the grooves of these dragged individuals or
+
+sacks stop. And then it pushes back onto the
+road.
+
+LIAM: Here is what I am wondering: why we are
+still here. Yasha and Jester and Fjord, they
+
+didn’t know each other before a month ago.
+
+SAM: Who was on watch? It was Fjord and Yasha,
+right?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: So they would have been awake. But what about
+Jester? She was asleep, right?
+
+MARISHA: She also has a big old crushie on Fjord.
+
+LIAM: If they were taken, that means they came to
+our camp and took her, possibly. And even if they
+
+did not, it’s not like we were hiding.
+
+MARISHA: Why couldn’t we hear anything?
+
+SAM: Maybe they weren’t targeting anyone specific,
+just coming to grab folks, and those were the ones
+
+that were awake, or closest to the road, or–
+
+LIAM: You’d take the three beefiest of a group of
+strangers?
+
+SAM: Well, they took the three ugliest ones. I
+mean, they left us.
+
+TALIESIN: First, thank you. Second, they may have
+just taken the ones that were furthest away from
+
+the light. They just picked them off, maybe? You
+walk away from camp, that’s what happens. I mean,
+
+it’s not the biggest or strongest. It’s the–
+
+SAM: Wait. I’m going to examine the tracks for
+blood.
+
+MATT: Make another investigation check.
+
+SAM: Mmm. That’s an 11.
+
+MATT: It’s better. In looking through near where
+these cart tracks begin, there’s no signs of
+
+blood. Going back and following the grooves
+through the dirt, you find a few small traces.
+
+SAM: Anything weird about the blood? Is it green
+blood, purple blood, blue blood?
+
+MATT: No, just standard dark, dusted-over blood at
+this point.
+
+MARISHA: Censored video game blood.
+
+SAM: That means that they weren’t bleeding when
+they were dragged, which means that either they
+
+were killed by vampires and all their blood was
+sucked out of them first, or they were still alive.
+
+MARISHA: And that blood was far away from our
+camp. Maybe they were just triggered by a sound
+
+that they heard, and they went to go investigate
+it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to freak out. Is there any
+trash or anything on the road? I’m just going to
+
+look for any–
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s better. 14.
+
+MATT: 14? As you look off, looking for any sign of
+change, there’s the fog at the far peripheral of
+
+where you’re watching. Nothing on the road, except
+for a couple of tufts of scrub brush, catch your
+
+eyes, until you see a dark shape on the road to
+the south.
+
+TALIESIN: Moving?
+
+MATT: Moving. It looks to be a shadowed outline of
+a person.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to draw both swords and head
+towards it.
+
+SAM: Seeing that, I will draw my new crossbow.
+Turn it on. I imagine it’s battery-powered.
+
+(powering-up noise)
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Four D batteries. It’s very obnoxious.
+
+MATT: They run out in half an hour. It’s like a
+Game Gear.
+
+LIAM: Do you want my not-cat to go look first?
+
+TALIESIN: I may have already moved. I didn’t think
+of that.
+
+MATT: I think Molly’s already off.
+
+MARISHA: I’m following Molly. As I follow Molly, I
+turn to Nott and Caleb, and I say, just stay back
+
+for a second. Back us up if we need it.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MATT: So you’ve nocked your bolt into your
+crossbow for the first time. As it winds back, you
+
+crank it, and it slips into place. You hear this
+faint spring tension.
+
+SAM: Ooh!
+
+MATT: As you’re preparing for this, Molly and Beau
+start rushing up.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. I’m just going to be obvious.
+
+MARISHA: I flank.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you head off into the brush?
+
+MARISHA: Stealth.
+
+MATT: Make a stealth check.
+
+LIAM: I send Frumpkin to do a lazy circle.
+
+MARISHA: Man. This feels like last game. 12.
+
+MATT: 12, okay. Good to know. Molly, as you get
+closer, the shape takes more form. As the mist
+
+fades and your proximity grows closer, you see a
+squat figure. Wide and muscular, armored, with a
+
+sack over the shoulder. Ashly, if you want to
+enter?
+
+SAM: What?! Whoa!
+
+TALIESIN: That was fast.
+
+LIAM: This is Your Life!
+
+MATT: Ashly Burch joins us at the table.
+
+LIAM: Hey, Ashly. Welcome.
+
+MATT: So Ashly, if you’d like to describe what
+Molly sees as he approaches?
+
+ASHLY: What Molly sees is a dwarven woman with a
+five o'clock shadow, a cigarette hanging out of
+
+her mouth, extremely battered, bloodied, rusted
+armor, full armor, and short, greasy hair. And she
+
+has a big ol’ axe in one hand, and a big ol’
+hammer in the other. Does she see these folk now?
+
+MATT: Roll a perception check for me.
+
+ASHLY: I don’t have dice.
+
+MATT: Oh! We should get that for you.
+
+SAM: How? This is terrible, here.
+
+LIAM: The Laura Bailey bladder was right here.
+Where’d it go?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, do you want–? Pick a dice bag.
+
+MATT: We got plenty.
+
+TALIESIN: And here, have a thing.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, hey, thanks guys! It’s like I’m part of
+the crew. Okay. So I’m rolling perception?
+
+MATT: Yes. So roll a d20, add your perception
+modifier.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+SAM: So much better than us.
+
+ASHLY: It’s 18.
+
+MATT: So you see one figure coming towards you,
+difficult to make out gender, of lavender skin,
+
+curled horns filled with jewelry, big long coat of
+multi-colors, maroon, but then it goes into a
+
+rainbow pattern almost, with two glowing scimitars
+to each side, staring you down. Behind that, you
+
+see two figures a little bit beyond your sight to
+make out all the details, but one seems to be a
+
+tall humanoid, the other seems to be much shorter
+and smaller, probably halfling, gnome. And then
+
+off in the bushes, not hiding very well, you see
+another figure, keeping low to your left.
+
+ASHLY: Ah, son of a dick. All right, let’s get
+this over with. And then she holds up her
+
+battleaxe and her warhammer.
+
+SAM: Oh, she’s challenging us.
+
+MARISHA: As I make eye-contact, I’m like, Aw,
+shit. Was it the blue? Was I too tall?
+
+ASHLY: I mean, you guys have your weapons drawn.
+I’m assuming– Are we going to do this or what?
+
+MARISHA: I would just like a little bit of
+feedback so I know how to perfect it later.
+
+ASHLY: Are you asking about your hiding?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+ASHLY: It’s shit, man. You gotta choose a new–
+
+MARISHA: Fuck. All right.
+
+ASHLY: I saw you. I thought you weren’t trying
+to hide.
+
+MARISHA: You’ve got great eyesight.
+
+ASHLY: Not really.
+
+MARISHA: I’m complimenting you.
+
+TALIESIN: What the fuck is going on?
+
+MARISHA: What’s your name?
+
+LIAM: Through the wire I whisper–
+
+ASHLY: What’s your fucking name? You guys got
+weapons out. What’s going on?
+
+MARISHA: What’s your fucking name?!
+
+ASHLY: What’s your fucking name?!
+
+LIAM: I put the wire away.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: What’s going on up there?!
+
+TALIESIN: We don’t know!
+
+SAM: Should I kill something?
+
+TALIESIN: Probably!
+
+ASHLY: I got a place to be, so if we could move
+this along. Are we fighting or not?
+
+MARISHA: Molly, ask her. We’re at an impasse.
+
+TALIESIN: I haven’t really thought this through.
+Where did you come from? What are you doing in the
+
+bloody bushes by our campsite?
+
+ASHLY: I was walking up the road, man. I didn’t
+expect to see a bunch of poorly hidden weirdos
+
+with fucking weapons drawn.
+
+LIAM: (shouts) Just make conversation.
+
+MARISHA: How’s your day?
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLY: Weird now!
+
+MARISHA: Sorry. Happens sometimes.
+
+ASHLY: Wait, where are you guys from? Are you from
+the Run?
+
+MARISHA: What’s the Run? No, really, what’s the
+Run? That sounds fascinating.
+
+ASHLY: So you’re not from the Run.
+
+SAM: (shouts) I think she means Shadycreek Run.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, that.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, shit. We should have thought about
+that. I don’t know your street lingo.
+
+ASHLY: It’s just a shortened version of the name.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you’re right again.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m putting down one of the swords.
+We’re having a very weird day.
+
+SAM: Just one?
+
+TALIESIN: Just one. There’s still one glowing
+sword.
+
+ASHLY: Here, I’ll put away the hammer.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: The de-escalation has begun.
+
+TALIESIN: We more or less got robbed last night
+and you’re the first living human being that we’ve
+
+seen– or, not human being.
+
+ASHLY: Dwarf.
+
+MARISHA: And by “robbed,” he means half of our
+party got abducted. “Robbed?” That’s such a light
+
+way of putting it.
+
+ASHLY: Whoa! Your party got abducted? When?
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: Last night.
+
+ASHLY: Son of a bitch. Yeah, okay.
+
+MARISHA: We were actually headed to the Run. It
+does sound pretty cool.
+
+ASHLY: All right.
+
+SAM: I’m going to walk up next to Molly.
+
+MARISHA: (shouts) Yeah, hey, Caleb! Nott!
+
+MATT: This tiny figure, hooded, with wrappings,
+and a creepy porcelain doll face that covers–
+
+ASHLY: All right, I pull my hammer back out.
+
+SAM: Should I kill her?
+
+TALIESIN: Not yet. But keep it drawn.
+
+ASHLY: So all you guys are trying to do right now
+is to try to get these people back that got got?
+
+Is that right?
+
+LIAM: (shouts) They have great sentimental value!
+
+SAM: You can come up now, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: (shouts) No, I’m good!
+
+TALIESIN: We’re having a very bad morning. I
+apologize if we came off a little terse. All
+
+right, fine.
+
+MARISHA: We’re a little on edge, considering
+family– I mean, party members– were abducted.
+
+ASHLY: All right, I got a question. Does anyone
+have booze?
+
+SAM: (smug giggling)
+
+TALIESIN: Oh no.
+
+SAM: Why?
+
+ASHLY: Because I’m more partial to talking… I’m
+out. My flask is done.
+
+SAM: Oh, your flask runs out?
+
+ASHLY: Yes, weird creepy doll girl!
+
+SAM: (smug giggling)
+
+ASHLY: Can anyone explain this shit to me? The
+fuck is happening right now?
+
+SAM: Sorry.
+
+LIAM: (calling) It’s complicated!
+
+ASHLY: Can you come out of the bush?! Please?!
+
+SAM: He’s very weak.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin lands on Nott’s shoulder.
+
+MATT: A giant falcon (caw) lands.
+
+ASHLY: Ah!
+
+SAM: Don’t worry. It’s a cat, usually.
+
+ASHLY: What?!
+
+TALIESIN: I have an idea. We’ve all had a bit of a
+morning. Let’s sit down. Have a drink. We can get
+
+you liquor. We can talk about anything you’ve seen
+traveling on the road in the last day or two.
+
+ASHLY: What’s your name? I like you.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m Molly.
+
+ASHLY: Pleasure.
+
+TALIESIN: Is your name Pleasure, then?
+
+ASHLY: No.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, okay. That would’ve been very
+inconvenient parenting.
+
+ASHLY: I’m trying this thing where I’m trying to
+be more polite, and people say shit like that I guess.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s weird parents that do things.
+
+ASHLY: My name’s Keg.
+
+SAM: Ooh!
+
+ASHLY: As in powder or booze.
+
+TALIESIN: Never mind. They’re very weird parents.
+
+SAM: I like you already. Here, do you have a cup
+or something I could pour into?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, I got a flask.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s sit.
+
+SAM: All right, I’m going to take out my flask and
+pour a good, healthy, half quantity. You have to
+
+drink it fast. It will disappear soon.
+
+ASHLY: What?
+
+TALIESIN: Is that true?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+ASHLY: What the fuck is with you people? All
+right, Keg knocks it back.
+
+MATT: It’s harsh but functional.
+
+ASHLY: Okay. I know who took your friends.
+
+SAM: What? I am the greatest detective of all
+times! I poured one drink, and I solved the case!
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLY: I know who took your friends. They’re not
+nice people, as you may have gathered. Good thing
+
+you were heading to Shadycreek Run because that’s
+where they operate out of.
+
+SAM: How do you know? Who are they?
+
+ASHLY: I know. Okay? I know. I’m looking for them
+too.
+
+SAM: Did you lose someone?
+
+ASHLY: (quietly) Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, I thought you were coming from
+Shadycreek Run.
+
+ASHLY: No. I ain’t been there in a while.
+
+MARISHA: Ah. But you’ve been there.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, I’ve been there. I know it pretty
+well. It ain’t a nice place. It’s probably the
+
+least nice place that you could all possibly go
+to, so–
+
+MARISHA: It’s named Shady.
+
+ASHLY: Shady. Aptly named.
+
+TALIESIN: Well we’re not necessarily nice people,
+so that’ll work out fine.
+
+LIAM: We are well traveled.
+
+ASHLY: Okay. Are you tough? Because you don’t look
+it.
+
+SAM: (weak growl)
+
+TALIESIN: We’re not.
+
+ASHLY: Was I supposed to be scared?
+
+SAM: Oh, I should take off the mask. It’s more
+scary that way. (growl)
+
+ASHLY: Ah! Okay, yeah, that works.
+
+MARISHA: Molly doesn’t speak for me. I feel like I
+can hold my own pretty well.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, she’s all right.
+
+MARISHA: I might actually be the only tough one
+here. Shit.
+
+ASHLY: That’s not great to hear. Okay. How much do
+these people mean to you?
+
+MARISHA: Well, they’re the only people I’ve had in
+my life since my father, so. Parents.
+
+TALIESIN: We don’t leave people behind, and that’s
+the deal.
+
+ASHLY: All right. What are your names?
+
+MARISHA: Plus, we had to go up there anyway.
+
+ASHLY: So it’s Molly–
+
+TALIESIN: Molly, pleasure.
+
+ASHLY: What’s the creepy little one?
+
+SAM: (stuttering) Jeff.
+
+TALIESIN: Nott.
+
+ASHLY: Thank you, Molly.
+
+SAM: It’s Nott.
+
+ASHLY: You’re going to be a fucking piece of work.
+What’s your name?
+
+MARISHA: Beau.
+
+ASHLY: Beau. And Bush Man?
+
+LIAM: Ah, I like that.
+
+ASHLY: All right, Bush Man. Okay.
+
+LIAM: My name is Caleb, but you could still call
+me Bush Man.
+
+ASHLY: Do you prefer Bush Man?
+
+LIAM: Well, let’s think about it.
+
+SAM: Herr Bush. Why don’t you come back to our
+camp?
+
+ASHLY: Ain’t I at your camp?
+
+TALIESIN: We are at the camp right now.
+
+SAM: No, aren’t we in the road? Oh, did we come
+back?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Walked over as you poured the drink.
+
+SAM: Oh, okay. Cool.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to nervously pack while this
+is going on.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I’m scooping up the haversack.
+
+ASHLY: So here’s the deal. Shadycreek Run is full
+of a bunch of shitty lowlifes. They’re all
+
+murderers. They’re all pieces of shit. The people
+that took your friends are the biggest pieces of
+
+shit in the entire place.
+
+MARISHA: That’s nice.
+
+SAM: Who are they?
+
+ASHLY: They’re called the Iron Shepherds. Slavers.
+Murderers. Basic pieces of shit. They’re very good
+
+at what they do. They are the scariest, most
+powerful people that I’ve probably ever met, and
+
+I’ve met a lot of people. I grew up in Shadycreek
+Run.
+
+LIAM: When you say powerful, are you talking about
+ability, or connections, or both?
+
+ASHLY: Both.
+
+LIAM: Shit.
+
+ASHLY: Everybody knows them there.
+
+MARISHA: You said slavers?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah. Sorry to break it you, but your pals
+just got taken into slavery.
+
+SAM: Why are they operating this far from “the
+Run?” Also what kind of slavers– These are
+
+powerful people that they just kidnapped.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah. That’s what they want.
+
+LIAM: This is why maybe they took the beefy ones.
+
+ASHLY: They’re not trying to find weaklings on the
+side of the road. Which is why it seems like most
+
+of you people got spared–
+
+SAM: Okay, okay. You don’t know us.
+
+ASHLY: Hey, you bared your teeth at me five times,
+little man!
+
+SAM: I gave you a little bourbon! I’m a lady. I
+gave you some booze. The least you could do is
+
+afford us the benefit of the doubt.
+
+ASHLY: Sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: She does have a fair point, though. We
+are a little squishy.
+
+ASHLY: I’m not really good at the people thing.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re in good company right now.
+
+SAM: Beau is terrible with relationships and
+social interactions!
+
+MARISHA: That’s why we clearly got off to a great
+start. Sorry.
+
+LIAM: I’m not very good at it either, and you are
+an exile.
+
+MARISHA: I’m also trying to work on the manners
+thing.
+
+ASHLY: Cool, all right.
+
+MARISHA: The guy who actually got taken from us
+was helping me.
+
+TALIESIN: We lost the charm.
+
+SAM: Do you know any of their names, the
+Shepherds?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, I know all of them.
+
+SAM: Who are they?
+
+ASHLY: Okay. Before that, here’s the deal. I have
+some beef, as you may have gathered, with this
+
+crew. I’m not interested in just getting your
+friends and getting out. I want to fucking kill
+
+every single last one of them. If you want any
+more information from me, I’m going to need a
+
+little bit of buy-in.
+
+TALIESIN: I just toss 20 gold and I’m like, throw
+me a cigarette please.
+
+SAM: 20 gold is expensive. Wait, so if you could
+rescue your friends, or friend, or whatever–
+
+ASHLY: There ain’t nobody left to rescue, man.
+
+SAM: Are you sure?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, pretty fucking sure.
+
+SAM: So it’s revenge, then.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: If Shadycreek Run is full of a bunch of
+criminals, and you said you lived there for a
+
+while, what were you doing there?
+
+ASHLY: It’s not important.
+
+MARISHA: Well that’s pretty clear.
+
+ASHLY: No one there did anything nice. Okay? So
+fucking imagine something shitty, and I probably
+
+did it, okay? I’m not proud of it! I’m trying to
+turn a new leaf, as it were.
+
+SAM: I just imagined some crazy shit.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: It’s like a horror film. The more you
+leave it up to your imagination, the worse it is.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m not one to interrogate someone’s
+past. Information’s information. We could use some help.
+
+ASHLY: If you want my aid, I know that place like
+the back of my hand. I need some kind of assurance
+
+that when we find these motherfuckers you’re not
+just going to grab your friends and run. Because
+
+I’m going to need some backup if I’m going to take
+them out.
+
+MARISHA: How about equal assurance that you don’t
+fuck us over?
+
+TALIESIN: You could also hire us.
+
+ASHLY: Hire you?
+
+TALIESIN: 20 gold.
+
+ASHLY: You just gave me 20 gold.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, that’s how I know you can afford
+us.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLY: 20 gold, all told?
+
+TALIESIN: And we split whatever we find.
+
+MARISHA: And you don’t fuck us, and we don’t fuck
+you. Unless, like… you know…
+
+TALIESIN: You pay at the end of the deal.
+
+ASHLY: All right, deal.
+
+MARISHA: It’s been a while.
+
+SAM: You’re confident that you can lead us to
+these Shepherds.
+
+ASHLY: I’ve been tracking them for a while.
+
+LIAM: You know, we are, some of us, a
+self-deprecating lot. We have some skill between
+
+the four of us, but it would help a lot to know
+what kind of people– not just assholes; we are
+
+assholes– what kind of assholes we are talking
+about.
+
+ASHLY: Sorcerers. Barbarians. There’s a little
+shit that’s a rogue.
+
+SAM: How many of them are there?
+
+ASHLY: There’s five.
+
+SAM: Hey, we’re five!
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, kind of. We’re probably a good three
+and a half, if we’re being honest.
+
+SAM: Don’t put yourself down like that. I’m sure
+you can hold your own.
+
+ASHLY: I’m talking about you mostly, sweet cheeks.
+There’s five.
+
+LIAM: Are they part of a larger organization, or
+are they off themselves? It’s just them?
+
+ASHLY: They work for someone, a family in Shady
+Creek Run. They’re powerful.
+
+MARISHA: They’re mobsters!
+
+Weird question: have I heard about this
+group, considering my background?
+
+MATT: Make a history check.
+
+MARISHA: History. My history changed here
+recently. That’s my second natural one in a row.
+
+I’m going to get rid of this one. Where’s Laura
+with her dice jail when you need it? That’s an 18
+
+that I just rolled now.
+
+MATT: You have not heard of the Iron Shepherds
+before. You have some base knowledge of some
+
+families that might do business in the outside,
+but the information you’ve been given so far, the
+
+Iron Shepherds don’t ring a bell.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+SAM: You know, when we were in Zadash, we heard
+the town crier talking about kidnappings in
+
+Nogvurot. That’s close to Shadycreek Run. Could
+that be the same people, do you think?
+
+ASHLY: I mean, possibly. There’s a lot of folks
+doing the same kind of work. These folk happen to
+
+be the best at it.
+
+MARISHA: Do you know all of the members of this
+Iron Brigade– what’s it called?
+
+ASHLY: Close enough.
+
+MARISHA: Iron Shepherds.
+
+SAM: Iron Chef.
+
+MARISHA: Iron Shep.
+
+ASHLY: That’s my favorite travelling cuisine
+entertainment.
+
+LIAM: I prefer Iron Fem Shepard.
+
+MARISHA: For sure.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLY: This is my favorite D&D game on the
+Citadel.
+
+MATT: There it was. I was waiting for it. If
+someone else wasn’t going to get there, I was
+
+going to do it. So thank you for taking it.
+
+MARISHA: One of them wouldn’t happen to be named
+Ophelia Mardun, were they? No? Okay. That’s the
+
+woman we have to find for The Gentleman. That’s
+part of the reason we’re going.
+
+TALIESIN: I try not to learn their names. I don’t
+want to get attached.
+
+ASHLY: No.
+
+MATT: There is an aspect of that name that does
+ring a bell: the last name.
+
+ASHLY: Oh shit, say that again?
+
+MARISHA: Mardun.
+
+SAM: Here, let me pour you some more booze.
+
+ASHLY: Thank you.
+
+SAM: Does that help?
+
+ASHLY: Yes, I suddenly remember that name. I know
+the family. They’ve got connections there. In
+
+fact, the folks that the Iron Shepherds work for
+happen to hate that family.
+
+SAM: This is all connected!
+
+MARISHA: Rival mob gangs!
+
+SAM: It’s like a conspiracy, and we’re in the
+middle of it!
+
+ASHLY: You being a detective, you hear other
+people say information and then you remark upon
+
+it, and then that’s you saying you’re a great
+detective?
+
+TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+SAM: In large part. The subject was confused as to
+what a detective is. I’m not writing. I don’t have
+
+a quill. It’s something that me and one of our
+lost friends talked about a lot. Sorry.
+
+ASHLY: Sorry. Again, I’m not great with people.
+
+LIAM: Do we have an arrangement here? A deal?
+
+SAM: We’ll kill these folks, or try to anyway.
+
+ASHLY: I don’t like that last part.
+
+SAM: What if one gets away? We’re going to hunt
+them down over our lifetime? I don’t know, what if
+
+they go far away? Are we indebted to you forever
+now, or can we put a 30 day cap on this?
+
+LIAM: These three are of great value to us and
+they are our friends, and we are better off with
+
+them, and it is worth the trouble. We cannot
+accomplish what we’ve come out here to do in the
+
+first place without them. What?
+
+SAM: Nothing. You sure sound like our new leader.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, what about me?
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t panic about it, it’s going to be
+fine.
+
+SAM: Oh yeah, no.
+
+MARISHA: Aw, cool. Real cool, Nott.
+
+SAM: I mean, he’s got the intelligence.
+
+LIAM: You be the leader. But do we have a deal?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, we have a deal.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m all in for this.
+
+ASHLY: All right. Well, let’s get going, then.
+
+SAM: Are you just walking? Do you have any means
+of transportation?
+
+ASHLY: Do I look like I have– no!
+
+TALIESIN: We have spare horses now.
+
+SAM: We do.
+
+MATT: At which point, you look over past the camp
+where they are, and there’s a cart and there are a
+
+number of horses that are currently hitched to it
+at the moment. For a brief moment, you’re like,
+
+Oh, the thought of not having to travel on foot
+sounds fantastic.
+
+ASHLY: Let’s do that. Let’s please, god, do that.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re half packed already.
+
+MATT: As you guys pack up your goods, get the rest
+of your material packed up, couple things to keep
+
+in mind. Looking at the map, if you want to pull
+it out and get an idea of the direction you’re traveling.
+
+SAM: Oh, we have a map of some sort? Should we lay
+it out on the table and see if–
+
+MATT: As long you guys can see it is more the job
+here. You can travel with your horses–
+
+SAM: Weights?
+
+MARISHA: Sam take one side.
+
+MATT: With your horse and cart–
+
+MARISHA: Sponsored by Wyrmwood.
+
+MATT: Look at that! Timing.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s how it’s done.
+
+SAM: Thank you.
+
+TALIESIN: There you go.
+
+MATT: You guys are currently right… here. So you
+just left Hupperdook, you’re on the Crispvale
+
+Roadway making your way to the Crispvale Thicket
+which is the large forest at the crossroads. You
+
+can travel about 24 miles per an eight hour day at
+a normal pace with the horses and cart, you can go
+
+30 miles at a fast pace, and you can force a march
+to go for another hour, or two, or three afterward
+
+but you start making constitution saving throws or
+take exhaustion points at that point. But you can
+
+get quite a good distance depending on how fast
+you’re going. The cart keeps you at a slower pace.
+
+If you were to leave the cart behind as an option,
+you could go faster.
+
+SAM: But we’d have to ditch some gear, or do we
+have enough horses to carry everything including shields?
+
+TALIESIN: We would have to ditch some.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I think we ditch the cart. They’ve got
+hours on us, we need to make time.
+
+MARISHA: I agree.
+
+TALIESIN: How much can we carry?
+
+SAM: Can we carry all of our friends’ stuff on a
+horse? We have six horses, I think.
+
+MATT: You have six horses between five of you, as
+long as one of you takes the horse head you can
+
+have a pack horse, essentially. It’s going to be
+hard to direct it, unless someone keeps it hitched
+
+on the side. Having an additional horse right now,
+how are you going to get that to come with you at
+
+a fast pace… without a rider?
+
+LIAM: And we can’t carry their stuff without.
+
+MATT: You can probably carry a few things. You
+still have horses to help carry things, most of
+
+your gear you can still put on yourself. Are there
+any large things? You’re not carrying a manticore
+
+head anymore.
+
+LIAM: We leave the shield. It’s not a magical
+shield, it’s not special.
+
+SAM: It’s not?
+
+MARISHA: Jester’s?
+
+LIAM: It’s run of the mill.
+
+MARISHA: Well, hang on.
+
+SAM: It’s not special to her in any way?
+
+MARISHA: I open the haversack.
+
+LIAM: Life is more special.
+
+MARISHA: And start trying to shove as much as I
+can in the haversack.
+
+LIAM: Ow, what are you doing?
+
+MARISHA: I’m trying to– Just wait, don’t move.
+
+MATT: The main pack, I’d say you can– I’m going
+to say the shield’s not going to fully fit in it
+
+unfortunately. It’s a fairly wide shield and won’t
+quite fit.
+
+MARISHA: What about a tent? Can I shove a tent in
+here?
+
+MATT: A tent you can probably mangle and push in
+there and you manage to get the tent in. But the
+
+shield someone will have to wear on their back or
+strap to a horse.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, let’s strap it to a horse.
+
+TALIESIN: Are we going to try and pack horse this?
+Is that how we’re–?
+
+MARISHA: No I think we can…
+
+LIAM: Go faster without a spare horse.
+
+MARISHA: I think the shield and–
+
+SAM: The big things we’re leaving?
+
+MARISHA: We put a tent in there and if we want to
+attach another tent to the back.
+
+LIAM: DM, you said we could put the shield on the
+side of a horse?
+
+MATT: You can put the shield– strap it to a
+horse, it’s fine because it’s just an additional
+
+thing you’re strapping on to it. It’s up to you.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: It’s just the additional horse is going to
+be a problem if you’re going to travel at a fast pace.
+
+LIAM: Well then, we shouldn’t do that, we should
+go as fast as we can right now.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MARISHA: So we’re leaving behind a horse and a
+cart.
+
+TALIESIN: Or we take the horse and cart at
+reasonable speed.
+
+SAM: No, we should leave them.
+
+MARISHA: Is there a town coming up? Or some place
+where we can quickly sell the horse and cart?
+
+TALIESIN: Or stow it.
+
+MATT: No, there is the Crispvale Thicket ahead
+which has the crossroads, but there’s no town
+
+there– Hupperdook behind you, or, honestly,
+Nogvurot or Shadycreek Run.
+
+MARISHA: We lead the horse to water, we force it
+to drink, we give it some food, hope it lives.
+
+LIAM: We set it free.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe come back and find it.
+
+LIAM: Or it’s free or somebody gets a new horse.
+
+MARISHA: We hang a sign on it. “Free horse.”
+
+SAM: Why don’t we kill it and take some meat? All
+right, let’s just leave it.
+
+ASHLY: I mean, not to put a damper on it, but if
+you leave a horse around here, it’s probably going
+
+to get killed. There’s a lot of shady folks around
+here.
+
+SAM: I mean, the horses are all named after–
+
+MARISHA: Poop.
+
+SAM: Poop. So we can probably–
+
+MATT: So which one do you leave behind then?
+
+SAM: I believe we’re going to take WC, Loo, John,
+Crapper, and Toilet, but we’re going to leave Loaf.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: So we’re going to drop a Loaf.
+
+SAM: We’re going to drop a quick Loaf, then go.
+It’s always better to drop a Loaf before you go.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s leave a marker.
+
+ASHLY: I’m starting to rethink my agreement to
+work with you guys.
+
+MATT: Welcome to the Mighty Nein.
+
+TALIESIN: If he’s going to die, we have to leave a
+marker so we can come back and find where he’s
+
+been interred.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+TALIESIN: Poop joke.
+
+SAM: Skidmark.
+
+MATT: As you say goodbyes to Loaf…
+
+LIAM: Pinch him off.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: We squeezed about as much as we can out
+of that one.
+
+MATT: You strap your materials to the horses you
+are taking with you.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s been a while.
+
+MATT: So you’re going at a fast pace. That’s 30
+miles.
+
+SAM and MARISHA: Yep.
+
+MATT: You travel in day. Which will get you well
+within the Crispvale Thicket. As you guys are
+
+riding, who’s guiding this trip? Who’s keeping an
+eye on the road ahead of you as you go?
+
+SAM: Is one of us steering the journey, and can
+another one of us be looking for clues or things
+
+along the way?
+
+MATT: You can do that. Sure.
+
+TALIESIN: I was going to say–
+
+MARISHA: Keg should lead.
+
+TALIESIN: Keg’s been on this road before.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, can someone do me a favor? Does
+anyone have a piece of cloth or something they’re
+
+not using?
+
+TALIESIN: I have a giant dragon tapestry.
+
+ASHLY: Could I borrow that maybe?
+
+SAM: Are you cold?
+
+MATT: This is the one thing you see strapped,
+laying over the back of his horse. This giant,
+
+rolled up, thick, blue and silver tapestry.
+
+ASHLY: Okay, I wrap my head around it– with it, I
+should say. So you can’t really see my face.
+
+TALIESIN: You now have a cape, it’s huge.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+MATT: As you take the full tapestry or just a
+piece of it.
+
+TALIESIN: I think the full tapestry.
+
+MATT: All right, so yeah– it’s you are just–
+
+SAM: Swimming in it.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Why are you hiding your face?
+
+ASHLY: I didn’t leave with a lot of friends last
+time I was here. So I’m trying to keep a low profile.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re well disguised as a stoner’s
+bedroom at the moment. A dragon on a sheet.
+
+ASHLY: Perfect, I’ll fit right in.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+ASHLY: I guess I can lead, since I know where I’m
+going.
+
+MATT: Okay. You’ve traveled this path before, so
+it’s well known. Who’s keeping watch?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll keep watch.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make a perception check
+for me, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Hopefully there are no more ones hiding
+in there.
+
+SAM: Do you want to look at the thing, the orb?
+
+MARISHA: 18.
+
+SAM: Okay, you’re good.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, the orb, we haven’t–
+
+SAM: We have to look at the orb at some point too
+or hexagon. Dexa–
+
+MATT and TALIESIN: Dodecahedron.
+
+SAM: Thank you.
+
+MATT: All right, as you’re heading down into the
+center part of the northern side of the Marrow
+
+Valley. Keeping a look ahead, you can see just as
+you crest over this one little embankment, the
+
+Crispvale Thicket ahead of you. This beautiful
+cluster of dark-green trees. The clouds have
+
+completely taken the sky back and it’s this low,
+gloomy gray as the air gets chilly, as the day
+
+progresses onward getting closer and closer to
+dusk. You manage to get to the outskirts of the
+
+thicket itself. You see the trees growing thicker
+and the actual canopy of dark green pine trees
+
+starting to gather. You now have the opportunity,
+if you want to, you can travel into the crossroads
+
+and head north, or you can skirt around the forest
+off the path. Those are your– because you
+
+haven’t– you’re basically having to go to the
+center and then back north, but you’re on the road
+
+the whole time. Or if you wanted to skip past it,
+you’ll travel a little slower– basically a
+
+similar pace.
+
+SAM: But we won’t encounter as many foes.
+
+MATT: Well you don’t know.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: It just depends on your–
+
+SAM: Are we trying to avoid people or–
+
+TALIESIN: I’m more than happy to kill something at
+this point. I’ve got some anger and aggression to
+
+work out.
+
+MARISHA: What’s the faster route?
+
+MATT: Make a survival check.
+
+MARISHA: 12.
+
+MATT: Looking about, you gather the faster route
+would probably be to skirt around the outside of
+
+the forest. Because you don’t have to switch back
+even though the terrain isn’t quite as well tread.
+
+However, you’ve left the cart behind which means
+the one factor that would’ve really come into
+
+that, is no longer an issue.
+
+MARISHA: We’re on horses, let’s just cut through.
+
+ASHLY: Do we get a sense of where they’re headed?
+Do we see any sign of–
+
+MATT: At this point, in the main road, there are a
+number of tracks. Whether it be horse, foot, and
+
+cart and wheels of all different sizes. You’re not
+able to really tell what’s the freshest from a
+
+glance. If you want to get off your horse and
+inspect you can try.
+
+ASHLY: I’ll try. Would that be–
+
+MATT: That would be survival.
+
+ASHLY: How good is my survival? Eh, it’s okay. A
+natty one.
+
+TALIESIN: Welcome to the team.
+
+ASHLY: I don’t even know what horses are anymore.
+
+MARISHA: This is a donkey.
+
+MATT: You glance down– From atop your horse you
+look down and see these smattering of patterns,
+
+and as you get down closer it just becomes dirt,
+and you have no idea how to discern what came when.
+
+ASHLY: I’m drunk. That was pointless, let’s keep
+going.
+
+TALIESIN: (vomit sound)
+
+MATT: So, which path do you guys wish to choose?
+
+SAM: Caleb, you’re in charge. Which way are we
+going?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, for gods’ sakes.
+
+SAM: Well he’s so–
+
+LIAM: Which way are we going?
+
+MARISHA: I say we go through the woods, but you’re
+the leader.
+
+LIAM: I said you were the leader.
+
+SAM: Caleb.
+
+LIAM: I’m not a leader.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, for gods’ sakes, I’m going to start
+going through the woods.
+
+MATT: So you’re going through the thicket or
+around the outside of it?
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, around. The shortcut.
+
+MATT: Okay. So you’re skirting the outside of the
+thicket.
+
+MARISHA: Yes.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you start cresting around the side
+of the forest, within the first mile or so, you
+
+see an abandoned homestead. Maybe 200 feet or so
+away from the forest on the northern side. It may
+
+have been at one time a small farmhouse, but part
+of the roof is caved in. There once was a window
+
+that had pane glass that has since been shattered,
+and you can see jagged edges along the bottom side
+
+of its sill.
+
+TALIESIN: What time is it?
+
+MATT: Right now? I’d say it’s probably close to
+four or five in the afternoon. You have a couple
+
+hours before dusk really starts hitting.
+
+TALIESIN: Do we want to head a couple hours or
+have this unbelievably safe place. What looks like
+
+a very safe place, although– never mind. We’re
+going to– terrible things are just going to
+
+happen. I’m accepting it, this is going to be a
+cursed trip. Do we want to stay in the haunted house?
+
+MARISHA: Do you want to send in Frumpkin, bird
+Frumpkin, see what he finds?
+
+LIAM: Does it look like Frumpkin could make it
+through that window?
+
+MATT: Frumpkin could, yeah. And it’s a one story
+farmhouse. It’s a modest home. Single story, maybe
+
+from first glance, three to four rooms, and the
+partially collapsed roof on one side shows you
+
+that’s it’s been in disuse for some time. Who
+knows how weathered it may be on the interior.
+
+LIAM: And what hour is it?
+
+MATT: About four or five in the afternoon.
+
+LIAM: In the afternoon. I don’t see anything in
+there. I mean, you want to raid an old house or
+
+keep going?
+
+MARISHA: Sleep in it, is what we’re thinking.
+
+LIAM: You want to cut for the day?
+
+SAM: We want to keep going, don’t we? As fast as
+we can.
+
+TALIESIN: Well here’s the question: do we just go
+until we have to stop and then we camp wherever
+
+we’re going to camp, or do we find something like
+this, which is possibly a little safer and then
+
+just wake up very early and run and go further?
+
+ASHLY: If you ask me, keep going. No place in this
+area is going to be safer than any other.
+
+MARISHA: All right, let’s keep going.
+
+LIAM: She’s the local.
+
+TALIESIN: Trust the local.
+
+MATT: So you guys continue.
+
+MARISHA: As we go by it– we’re headed that way,
+right?
+
+SAM: Was there anyone in that house?
+
+MATT: You didn’t get close enough to inspect.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+MARISHA: Should we check it out and see if there’s
+anything good?
+
+TALIESIN: Throw a falcon through the window.
+
+LIAM: Well that’s what I was asking. You described
+a window that was jagged glass, ja?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: But if my smallish falcon went in there, is
+he going to get cut up?
+
+MATT: You can certainly try.
+
+TALIESIN: Chimney.
+
+LIAM: Going to get cut.
+
+MATT: Yeah, Frumpkin’s wingspan in this form is
+pretty wide, wider than the window. So Frumpkin
+
+would have to land on the window and then probably
+gingerly step in.
+
+TALIESIN: Or you could go through the chimney or
+the collapsed roof.
+
+ASHLY: Or I can just go in.
+
+TALIESIN: We have–
+
+ASHLY: Keg just goes to the door and kicks it
+open.
+
+MATT: You guys watch as the horse rides off to the
+edge. Keg leaps off the horse.
+
+TALIESIN: I like her.
+
+MATT: Stomps up and just kicks the door open. The
+door is already partially ajar so it (creaks) and
+
+it falls off the top end and leans against the
+back inside of the farmhouse. There’s a brief
+
+moment where you feel a couple things settle, a
+slight creak and the fall of dust, and as you step
+
+inside you can see the furniture is in disarray.
+There is a layer of dust everywhere. There is a
+
+smell of old rot and mildew. And glancing inside,
+you can see there’s another window on the opposite
+
+side that’s also been busted out. This place is
+pretty thrashed.
+
+ASHLY: There’s nothing in here!
+
+LIAM: Are there any books?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to hop in there as well.
+
+SAM: I’ll go take a look.
+
+LIAM: Books!
+
+SAM: I’ll look for you.
+
+TALIESIN: We always know to look.
+
+ASHLY: I’m not going to look for boo– Oh god.
+
+MATT: Are you looking for–
+
+ASHLY: Keg sits down on one of the pieces of
+furniture.
+
+TALIESIN: I also want to see if there’s– does it
+look like people have been in here recently?
+
+MATT: Well you make an investigation check on
+that. And you make an investigation check to look
+
+for things. And if you want–
+
+ASHLY: Can I look for booze?
+
+SAM: 18.
+
+MATT: Yeah, go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: Nothing of value.
+
+ASHLY: Three.
+
+MATT: Oh. Sadly no booze.
+
+ASHLY: Damn it.
+
+MATT: What did you roll?
+
+TALIESIN: A two.
+
+MATT: Hard to tell in this space.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s not fair.
+
+MATT: A lot of the furniture looks damaged, some
+of it looks burned weirdly. As you, looking around
+
+on the inside, you’re rummaging around for any
+possible books or anything that can be useful. You
+
+don’t find any books, you do manage to find a
+bundle of unused torches, five. You have a handaxe
+
+that’s a little old and rusted, but it’s still
+functional. It’s well made. That was left under
+
+one of the shelves that had fallen over. And you
+find a mostly filled oil lantern. While the glass
+
+of the actual lantern is broken, it still is
+pretty filled with oil. So if you wanted to– if
+
+you had a container, you could fill it and have a
+flask of oil.
+
+SAM: I have an extra flask.
+
+MATT: Then you can go ahead and fill it with oil.
+
+SAM: I will fill that with oil.
+
+MATT: Now you have a flask of oil at your
+disposal.
+
+SAM: Nice.
+
+TALIESIN: Is there a crest on the fireplace or
+anything like that? Any markings of who might have
+
+lived here at one point?
+
+MATT: No crests. You glance and you do see a
+small, iron symbol that looks like a star or sun.
+
+You recognize it to be the symbol of Pelor. It
+probably was a mantle of worship here, but it’s,
+
+looking on it, the metal looks scarred, strangely.
+It’s almost like elements of– as you pick it up
+
+and glance at it, the pockmark scarring on it is
+strange. And the mantle around it, you can see, a
+
+lot of the wood and stonework seems to have been
+smoothed over in its damage.
+
+TALIESIN: Can I remove the piece?
+
+MATT: Yeah. It snaps off.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take it. Well this
+obviously brought luck to whoever was here.
+
+(quietly) I have a symbol of Pelor.
+
+SAM: I’ll just go around and ask: does anyone need
+any torches? I found a bunch.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take a couple torches.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take a torch.
+
+SAM: You can each have one.
+
+ASHLY: Sure, I’ll take a torch.
+
+MATT: You get a torch, and you get a torch.
+
+SAM: And how about a handaxe, anyone?
+
+LIAM: Nein.
+
+MARISHA: Nah, I’m good.
+
+TALIESIN: Caleb, you want to do a little scan
+while we’re here? See if anything tingles your fancy?
+
+LIAM: (sighs) We’re killing time but yes I do. I
+take the ten minutes to take the book out of the
+
+holster, and set it on the ground and while
+everyone just sits there in the dust, I cast
+
+Detect Magic.
+
+MATT: Okay. So how long does it take for that?
+
+LIAM: Ten minutes.
+
+MATT: Ten minutes, okay.
+
+LIAM: Wait. Wait.
+
+TALIESIN: Wait.
+
+MATT: Wait.
+
+MATT: As a ritual I believe it’s ten minutes,
+correct?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All right, so Caleb– you’re having this
+moment where you’re waiting as he’s just poring
+
+over this tome and drawing a circle on the ground
+and inscribing strange symbols in the air. It
+
+doesn’t make any sense. You’re like, “Ah, magic
+stuff.”
+
+ASHLY: Right.
+
+SAM: Want another drink?
+
+ASHLY & TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+SAM: (pouring noise)
+
+ASHLY: Thank you.
+
+TALIESIN: Bless you.
+
+MATT: Everybody else roll a perception check, if
+you don’t mind.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Ah.
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+TALIESIN: 14.
+
+ASHLY: 17.
+
+MATT: 17, what did you get?
+
+TALIESIN: 14.
+
+ASHLY: (counting) 19 actually.
+
+MARISHA: 16.
+
+MATT: Beau and Keg, you guys hear some noises out
+back. The horses are getting a little restless and
+
+nervous. They’re like (anxious chuffing) and you
+see two of them are starting to clomp back a bit
+
+away from the house. Starting to pull at the reins
+that have been hitched off to the side of the home.
+
+ASHLY: Hey, you might want to finish your fairy
+shit. There’s something going on outside.
+
+MATT: At that point, trying to take in what is
+sending these horses into a weird tizzy, and you
+
+feel this faint vibration in the ground, this very
+subtle quaking.
+
+MARISHA: I’m still outside on my horse. So I’m
+going to ride around to the back of the house, and
+
+see if I see anything.
+
+ASHLY: I’m going to run outside, and see if I see
+anything.
+
+MATT: Okay, still utilizing the same perception
+checks you have, looking in both directions,
+
+nothing. There is– you’re maybe a little over a
+hundred feet or so from the tree line. Which is
+
+what you were staying close to, to not be out in
+the middle of the open field. But you don’t see
+
+anything coming or going.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll pull a single sword and guard
+Caleb.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to jump off my horse and get on
+the ground and feel the ground. Do I feel any vibrations?
+
+MATT: You do. There’s this faint (soft rumbling),
+and it seems to be moving in shifts or in pulses
+
+of intensity, getting more intense and some of
+them longer and some of them shorter.
+
+MARISHA: I– were you going to keep going?
+
+MATT: No, that’s what you’re sensing.
+
+MARISHA: I say: Get off the ground!
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+MARISHA: And I run, and I’m going to try and
+parkour up onto the roof of this thing.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try and push Caleb awake
+and go for a tree.
+
+LIAM: Oh yeah, I hear everything.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Okay, what–
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s go! let’s go! And we’re going to
+head for a tree.
+
+MATT: Okay, you guys are headed for the trees?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, yeah.
+
+LIAM: Dispel the spell.
+
+MATT: Spell’s lost, Molly and Caleb start running
+out of the home to the tree line. And you’re just
+
+going up on the roof?
+
+MARISHA: Is there a roof to be got upon?
+
+MATT: You’re still on horseback, you can jump off
+your horse.
+
+MARISHA: No, I jumped off my horse to feel the
+ground.
+
+MATT: Right, right. So you’re leaving your horse
+there and if– you can try and look up on the
+
+roof. Part of it’s collapsed. You don’t know the
+state it’s in, but you can try.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll get on my horse and head for the
+tree line with everyone else.
+
+MATT: Okay (galloping). You start heading back to
+the tree line. What are you guys doing?
+
+ASHLY: So we can’t tell if this is a creature or
+a– we just can feel the ground rumbling.
+
+MATT: You can’t, you haven’t sensed anything.
+Everyone has just started getting nervous and
+
+rushing for the tree line. You can hear the faint
+rumbling, and it is getting louder.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to take– as I get closer to
+the tree line– how far away am I?
+
+MATT: You’re about 20 or so feet from the tree
+line.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to take my horse and I’m
+going to whip it around the opposite way, going
+
+away from us, and I’m going to give it a good kick
+and jump off of it. And head towards the tree line
+
+with everybody else. I’m going to head it away
+from us.
+
+MATT: Okay. Your horse begins to head in a
+southward direction.
+
+ASHLY: I’m staying where I am, and I’m taking out
+my battleaxe and my warhammer. I’m going, “Come
+
+“out, you piece of shit!”
+
+MATT: So you’re staying by the house?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+SAM: I’m staying in the house, and I’m going to
+cover myself up with some detritus of different
+
+chairs and things, near the window. I’m hiding.
+
+MATT: Make a stealth check.
+
+LIAM: What are we running from?
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+MATT: Caleb and Molly, you guys are riding towards
+the treeline.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re getting some distance from
+whatever.
+
+MATT: First thing you notice is a splash of dirt
+to the south. You see a small detonation out of
+
+the earth in the direction of where your horse had
+been traveling off. You see something emerge from
+
+the ground and your horse ride up and hoof down
+and begin to run back in your direction away from
+
+it. It seemed to cut it off at the south. As it is
+running towards you–
+
+MARISHA: Come on, WC, come on!
+
+MATT: You see something spray or splash in its
+direction as it turns, and it whinnies in horrible
+
+pain before it collapses onto the ground,
+spinning.
+
+MARISHA: Water Closet!
+
+SAM: Aw.
+
+MATT: It lies there on the ground, making this
+horrible (squealing) sound. As you’re watching,
+
+from what you can see in the distance, its flesh
+burning.
+
+ASHLY: Is it dying?
+
+MATT: It looks in a really bad place. At this
+point in time, Molly and Caleb, you hear the
+
+vibration as the ground bursts to the right and
+left of you. Let me get the map, since that’s
+
+where we’re going now.
+
+SAM: Oh! Should we move this map?
+
+MATT: Yeah, we’re going to move this map out of
+the way.
+
+SAM: Oh boy.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh man.
+
+ASHLY: Ah!
+
+SAM: Oh gosh!
+
+ASHLY: Ah jeez!
+
+SAM: Ashly, welcome to the show.
+
+ASHLY: Hey, thanks for having me, guys.
+
+SAM: It’s been a while.
+
+ASHLY: I know. It’s been a minute. Since your
+one-shot, right?
+
+SAM: Yes, but that doesn’t count. Weren’t you on
+the show-show at some point?
+
+ASHLY: Mm-mm. This is my first time on the
+show-show.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, she did that goblins thing with
+us.
+
+ASHLY: I’ve done three one-shots, but no
+show-show.
+
+SAM: (gasps) That’s terrible.
+
+ASHLY: (laughs) I’m here now.
+
+SAM: I mean, we’re rectifying it right now.
+
+ASHLY: Goblins, The Screw Job, and then the Ass
+Sailor? What was it called?
+
+SAM: The romantic cruise thing.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: The Ass Sailor?
+
+SAM: Yeah, The Ass Sailor was the name of the–
+Oh! You were in the bar! The bar was, yes, The Ass Sailor.
+
+LIAM: I keep looking over at you and thinking I’m
+on the Jerry Lewis telethon.
+
+SAM: I thought we were all going to dress up
+tonight.
+
+MATT: There is Caleb. There’s Molly, just on the
+outskirts of the forest, this way. Bursting to
+
+each side of you, you see these large insectoid
+creatures that burst out of the dirt and ground.
+
+Beau, you are right over on this side, as you left
+your horse on a southern direction there. Both
+
+Nott and Keg are about 100 feet that direction.
+
+MATT: Your horses are currently–
+
+ASHLY: Oh, so they went after them?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+ASHLY: Oh.
+
+MATT: While you guys are over by the house, you
+watch as this is going on, and there doesn’t
+
+appear to be any action immediately near you, so
+you’re quite a distance away.
+
+ASHLY: Can I rush forward now?
+
+MATT: You can. If your horse is still right by
+the– No, your horses rushed off towards the–
+
+TALIESIN: Her horse is still there.
+
+ASHLY: I think my horse is still there.
+
+MATT: Your horse is still there, that’s right. You
+still have your horse there. You can jump on your
+
+horse and head that direction, if you want to.
+
+ASHLY: Okay, I’m going to do that.
+
+MATT: All right, so you rush onto that. I need
+everybody to roll initiative, please, because we
+
+are now in combat.
+
+ASHLY: God! I think I spent all of my 20 juice on
+all these one-shots.
+
+SAM: You got that.
+
+ASHLY: I know, but it’s still a one!
+
+MATT: 25 to 20?
+
+MARISHA: 20.
+
+MATT: Beau’s up first. 20 to 15?
+
+TALIESIN: 16.
+
+MATT: Molly’s up next. 15 to ten?
+
+SAM: Ten.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s the anti-snitch.
+
+SAM: Nega-snitch.
+
+MATT: Caleb, what did you get?
+
+LIAM: Drei.
+
+MATT: All right. And? Ooh.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah. It makes sense. I’m riding in late.
+
+MARISHA: You’re also three?
+
+ASHLY: I’m three, yes.
+
+MATT: Not so great for Keg. That’s all right. Top
+of the round, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. So I have this one in front of me.
+Oh, man. Oh my god.
+
+MATT: There’s a third one down that way that’s
+maybe about 30 feet away from you that is heading
+
+your direction. It’s up to you if you want to
+pursue that or come help out your friends.
+
+MARISHA: No, I’m going to go for this one here. I
+should have enough speed to clear it, 40 feet.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you should. Yeah, you can easily get
+there.
+
+MARISHA: Pop, pop. Okay, so first attack. 15?
+
+MATT: 15 hits.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I’m going to spend a ki point to
+stun this thing, and hopefully it doesn’t save again.
+
+MATT: That is a six, a five plus one. It does not
+save.
+
+MARISHA: It’s stunned! Finally!
+
+MATT: As you rush up to the side, you look for
+what– and what you see now, at a close look, is
+
+this massive almost eight to nine feet tall to its
+head, insect-like, large cockroach-type creature.
+
+Its chitinous armored body is segmented in places.
+There’s large antennae and these massive pincers
+
+come out of its mouth, with its strange insectoid
+eyes, this gooey saliva that’s dripping out of the
+
+center of its mouth. As it spins around towards
+you, you see a moment where, between its plates
+
+and its body, seems to be a soft, muscle-like
+underbelly. You jam your fist in there and attack,
+
+and it seems to lock up its body for a moment.
+Roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, right. Oh god, I rolled a one in
+damage. So that’s plus four, five damage. I’m so nervous.
+
+MATT: All right, so that’s your first strike?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Then second strike. That’s a
+natural 14, so I’m pretty sure that hits, plus
+
+seven, so 21. Ooh, that’s an eight; it’s the total
+other end of the spectrum. I keep getting there.
+
+Sorry, my brain is all over the place. 12 damage.
+
+MATT: Nice. The first strike ends up as just
+enough to cut past its defenses to stun it. As
+
+it’s reeling from the impact, your other blow,
+crack! with your staff to the side, hits it, and
+
+part of its armor cracks inward, exposing more of
+its tender underbelly.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, and then I am going to spend
+another ki point and do extract aspects.
+
+MATT: Okay, you want to learn three things from
+it. What do you want to learn?
+
+MARISHA: Three things, okay. What is its dexterity
+modifier, or its dexterity saving throw?
+
+MATT: Dexterity saving throw is zero. Plus zero.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Sorry. Dex zero. What is its
+constitution saving throw?
+
+MATT: Plus one.
+
+MARISHA: Does it have any vulnerabilities?
+
+MATT: No vulnerabilities.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I still have a bonus attack,
+right?
+
+MATT: Still have a bonus attack.
+
+LIAM: Oh, wow. The suspense.
+
+MARISHA: 13.
+
+MATT: 13. Technically, your attacks have advantage
+while it’s stunned, so you get to roll again.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s right! That’s even worse.
+
+MATT: Does not hit. Even while stunned, you swing
+back with your fist, and your knuckles glide off
+
+of part of the armor that is still hardened, and
+it hurts your knuckles and you pull back a second,
+
+but it’s not immediately able to do anything back
+at you. That’s your turn, I believe?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I yell to everybody and be like:
+These guys don’t seem very quick and shifty!
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Not too dex-y or anything. They seem
+clumsy as fuck.
+
+MATT: All right, that ends your turn?
+
+MARISHA: It has shitty dexterity.
+
+MATT: Molly, you’re up next.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try something fancy. I’m
+going to tap my new fancy sword, and I’m going to,
+
+like a Pepper’s ghost effect, fade out and
+disappear, and move right into what would be– get
+
+some advantage on the one that Beau’s been
+hitting.
+
+MATT: (counting) 30, so you’re just out of range
+of it, but you can use your movement to move up to it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll use my movement to get right where
+I need to be.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+TALIESIN: So I have advantage now?
+
+MATT: You do. You watch as Molly fades out of
+existence and then appears, Nightcrawler
+
+teleport-style right behind Caleb.
+
+SAM: They killed Molly!
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take two attacks.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. First one, a natural one and
+an 18, yeah, so one hits.
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+TALIESIN: Ooh! That’s ten damage plus three.
+
+MATT: So 13 damage?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, 13, ten plus three. Next attack.
+That’s a 19.
+
+MATT: 19 hits.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s nine plus two, so that’s 11.
+
+MATT: 11 points of damage. All right, that’ll do
+it. With that, you teleport next to it and carve
+
+it asunder. It screams as you slice through it all
+three times, and you bisect it in the center of
+
+where its thorax begins. Falls to the ground and
+crumples into pieces, its greenish blood spilling
+
+into the dirt and floor of the forest underbrush.
+
+MARISHA: Clink! Take her staff and clink weapons.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, we have a little clink, and turn
+and face the other one.
+
+MATT: All right, ends Molly’s turn. Nott, you’re
+up.
+
+TALIESIN: Actually, do I have any movement left?
+
+MATT: You do. You have 25 feet of movement.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to pull back, and I’m going to
+get ten feet in front of Caleb, right between
+
+Caleb and the insect. No, the other side of that.
+Right there, to make a wall there.
+
+MATT: Perfect. There you go. Finishing your go.
+Nott, you are way off that way.
+
+SAM: Yeah, I’m looking through the window of the
+house, the homestead, and I’m 100 feet away?
+
+MATT: You’re about 100 feet away, yeah.
+
+SAM: There’s nothing I can do. I’ll start walking
+towards the fight.
+
+MATT: That’s 30 feet. You could dash as a bonus
+action, if you wanted to.
+
+SAM: Yeah, that’ll take me 60 feet.
+
+MATT: It does seem to lose your stealth,
+unfortunately.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MATT: You could be low in the brush, but you’re
+not moving quiet, carefully.
+
+SAM: I’m going fast.
+
+MATT: We’ll say at that point, that’ll get you
+about to the edge of the board there.
+
+TALIESIN: Hey, you might be able to– oh, you
+burned your move, though.
+
+SAM: Where is Keg? Did I just run past Keg on my
+way?
+
+ASHLY: I’m on a horse.
+
+MATT: Keg is going to be catching up to you at
+this point.
+
+SAM: Can I hold my action until Keg gets in range?
+You’re on a horse?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, I jumped on a horse. Before we rolled
+initiative, real fast-like.
+
+SAM: I’ll hold my action until someone gets within
+melee range of the thing, and then I will fire a crossbow.
+
+MATT: Okay. Got you. That ends Nott’s turn. It’s
+now their turn. As one of them that previously
+
+killed Beau’s horse–
+
+MARISHA: Rest in peace, Water Closet.
+
+MATT: To that side there. Another one bursts from
+the ground–
+
+SAM: Aw, come on! This is not fair.
+
+MATT: –On this side, and skitters over this
+direction. This one’s going to move up to there.
+
+If your horse is there, it can’t quite move to
+that space, which is frustrating it. That’s fine.
+
+It’ll pull back a bit, then, and stay there.
+Actually, no, because you killed the fourth one,
+
+so it’s not present. As they all turn around and,
+watching its one friend get cut down, they begin
+
+to line up, all three of them pull back and its
+pincers open as it releases this splashing stream
+
+of deep green-like liquid that sprays out in front
+of it, for 30 feet, five foot wide.
+
+TALIESIN: This is not anything I can try and give
+them disadvantage on?
+
+MATT: Nope, this is a saving throw scenario. I
+need Molly and Caleb to make dexterity– actually,
+
+for this one, it’s just Molly and the horse,
+because it doesn’t quite get to Caleb on that one.
+
+TALIESIN: Dexterity saving throw?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+TALIESIN: Yay! That’s a 22!
+
+MATT: Okay, so you take half damage. There you go.
+You take seven points of acid damage.
+
+TALIESIN: I can live with that.
+
+MATT: As it streaks across your body. Your horse
+does not make the saving throw. Your horse gets
+
+sprayed on the side and makes a horrible, pained
+neighing sound as it falls to the ground, its body
+
+now acidically burning away.
+
+TALIESIN: Loo! No!
+
+MATT: It’s not surviving this.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s the end of Loo.
+
+SAM: Now we’re down to John, Crapper, and Toilet.
+
+MATT: This one right here is going to spray you as
+well, Molly. Another dexterity saving throw, please.
+
+ASHLY: I really hope Toilet makes it.
+
+TALIESIN: 11.
+
+MATT: 11 does not succeed. You suffer 14 points of
+acid damage as another stream blasts into your
+
+back and shoulder, burning through your flesh, and
+the side of your face begins to pull away and
+
+smoke. Back here, this one is going to shoot in a
+stream that hits Beau, Caleb, and the horse. I
+
+need you to–
+
+LIAM: Can I use my natural 20 now?
+
+MARISHA: Dex saves?
+
+MATT: Dex save, yes.
+
+LIAM: That time it’s a three.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a natural one.
+
+MATT: Your horse made it, though.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Crapper!
+
+MATT: That is 14 points of acid damage to both of
+you. The horse takes seven. It’s hurt, still
+
+surviving. That’s going to end their go. It’s now
+the horses’ turn.
+
+SAM: The horses’ turn?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+ASHLY: I got worse initiative than the horse?
+
+MATT: This one’s running. Yep. And it’s going to
+run off the battlefield there.
+
+SAM: Run, Crapper, run!
+
+MATT: He’s dead.
+
+SAM: Run like the wind!
+
+MATT: All righty. That’s going to end their go.
+Caleb and Keg, you guys are up.
+
+LIAM: Oh, guests first.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, thank you. So how far can I go on this
+horse?
+
+MATT: On horseback?
+
+ASHLY: Yes.
+
+MATT: That’s a fairly good distance speed of 60
+feet.
+
+SAM: Wow.
+
+MATT: That’ll get you up to… we’ll say up to
+there. Pretty much right to the edge of where that
+
+is there.
+
+ASHLY: So I can’t get up on any of these boys?
+
+MATT: I’ll say because a horse doesn’t get any
+attack on– and it would normally get an action,
+
+I’ll let the horse dash.
+
+ASHLY: Ey!
+
+SAM: That’s nice.
+
+MATT: So that’ll get you right up next to this
+one.
+
+ASHLY: Okay. So can I leap off the horse and come
+down with the axe?
+
+MARISHA: Yes!
+
+MATT: Yeah. Just for the hell of it, make an
+acrobatics check for me.
+
+ASHLY: Okay! Why not?
+
+MATT: What could possibly go wrong?
+
+ASHLY: Natural 20.
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: That’s like Cirque du Soleil shit.
+
+MATT: So as the horse is galloping, you watch–
+
+ASHLY: She goes like this.
+
+MATT: You watch as Keg gets up on top, holding the
+reins. (hoofbeats) Pulls the warhammer out and
+
+then at the right moment just leaps off while
+pulling the battleaxe out, doing a flip in the
+
+air, landing and coming down with both weapons. Go
+ahead and make your attacks on the opposite side
+
+of it.
+
+ASHLY: 17?
+
+MATT: 17 hits.
+
+ASHLY: And then the other attack is an 18
+naturally.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that hits. So go ahead and roll both
+those damage.
+
+ASHLY: So that’s six… and then help me do math,
+12.
+
+MATT: Six and 12?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Nice. Still have your bonus action.
+
+ASHLY: So I get to attack again, right?
+
+MATT: Yeah, because you’re dual wielding. So you
+attack, attack, and then attack.
+
+ASHLY: Eight plus seven. Does that hit?
+
+MATT: 15. Still hits.
+
+ASHLY: Hey!
+
+MATT: Yep. Armor class of…
+
+ASHLY: Nine.
+
+MATT: Nine points of damage. Oof! So as you come
+down, both weapons (whack) clanging onto it, you
+
+hear the armor crack from underneath and you watch
+as its light green blood begin to seep through the
+
+wounds you left. As it turns around, this weird
+clicking, sucking sound out of its face, you laugh–
+
+ASHLY: Shut up!
+
+MATT: –and slam it in the side of the face with
+your warhammer. (screech) It pulls back and it’s
+
+now bleeding out of its jaw as it looks pretty
+hurt.
+
+ASHLY: Nice.
+
+SAM: I will release my bolt. At disadvantage
+because more than 30 feet away.
+
+MATT: It is, yes.
+
+SAM: (inhale through teeth) Ooh, that’s only a
+12.
+
+MATT: 12 misses, unfortunately. (ping) The bolt
+streaks off– actually, it hits the side of Keg’s
+
+armor–
+
+ASHLY: Hey!
+
+MATT: Shearing off.
+
+SAM: Sorry, sorry! That’s– that’s on me.
+
+ASHLY: Who are you aiming for?
+
+SAM: I did not–
+
+ASHLY: It’s nine feet tall!
+
+SAM: I’m sorry! I’m just drunk. I’m drunk, I’m day
+drunk.
+
+TALIESIN: This is your perfect opportunity for
+“New crossbow, who dis?”
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Oh yeah, I got a new crossbow.
+
+MATT: All right. Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. I go rummaging through my pack really
+quick and I pull out a licorice root and stick it
+
+into my mouth and bite onto and I start muttering
+to myself and I say, “Pick up the pace,” and I
+
+cast Haste on Beauregard.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+MARISHA: Aw, I hate licorice. (groaning) Why is
+that taste in my mouth? That’s weird.
+
+LIAM: And then I will move as far as I can towards
+Nott.
+
+MATT: All right. So you are Hasted there. You’re
+going to move as far as you can to Nott.
+
+LIAM: Towards Nott, ja.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: That finishes your turn. Top of the round,
+Beau you’re up and hasted.
+
+MARISHA: (panting) I’m going to turn to this guy
+and I’m going to lay into him.
+
+MATT: You step around the trunk of the tree.
+
+MARISHA: So that means, do I get three attacks?
+Base attacks?
+
+MATT: You get three base attacks, correct.
+
+TALIESIN: Woo.
+
+MATT: (singing) Haste. (hits)
+
+MARISHA: (hits) First one!
+
+LIAM: Advantage on dex saves too.
+
+MARISHA: And advantage on dex saves. 15.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+TALIESIN: It will come in handy with these–
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: That is… nine damage. Nine! Second one.
+Ooh. Yeah, yeah. that’s 16.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+MARISHA: And that is… 11 damage.
+
+MATT: Nice. Third strike.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a natural 14.
+
+MATT: Yep, that’ll hit.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah!
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Seven damage.
+
+MATT: Seven points of damage on that, fantastic.
+And you still have your bonus.
+
+MARISHA: Yep and I’m going to spend a ki point
+again to do flurry of blows and get two more attacks.
+
+MATT: Two more attacks.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Hasted monks. (blows) Just full on Wang
+Chung over here.
+
+MARISHA: Mm. One’s a natural 19, the other’s a
+two.
+
+MATT: So you do get one more hit. So roll damage
+for that.
+
+LIAM: Get it.
+
+MARISHA: Aw, yeah! 11 damage.
+
+MATT: 11 damage.
+
+MARISHA: No, ten damage. Sorry.
+
+MATT: That’s okay.
+
+LIAM: Right in the ball sack.
+
+MARISHA: Is he dead?
+
+MATT: That’ll do it.
+
+MARISHA: Is he dead?
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: You just spin around, the adrenaline pumping
+through your veins from Caleb’s spell instilling
+
+you with unnatural speed. You rush forward and
+just (hits) and just do the fastest full on combo.
+
+You watch as she basically pummels this giant nine
+foot insect creature into submission.
+
+MARISHA: (hits)
+
+MATT: It falls to the ground as you’re just
+pummelling its face until it eventually collapses
+
+and sputters out the remaining breath before it
+stops moving.
+
+LIAM: Street Fighter combo.
+
+TALIESIN: Epic combo.
+
+MATT: Fantastic. You still have…
+
+MARISHA: Oh, movement!
+
+MATT: 75 feet of movement.
+
+SAM: Oh wow.
+
+ASHLY: Holy cow.
+
+SAM: Because you’re fast.
+
+MATT: Because you’re hasted.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a fresh one.
+
+MARISHA: I am going to make my way behind this
+guy… if I can.
+
+MATT: Oh, yeah.
+
+SAM: (car zoom)
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Wow.
+
+MATT: You go around the tree and then tap it on
+the shoulder.
+
+TALIESIN: Circle the tree a couple times, holding
+onto it.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Just to be a dick.
+
+MARISHA: (singing) Singing in the rain.
+
+MATT: All right. That finishes your turn, Beau?
+
+MARISHA: Yes.
+
+MATT: All right. Molly, you’re up next.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to run and get into flanking
+position with this one over here.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+TALIESIN: Thumpety, thumpety.
+
+MATT: So move over and push into this space–
+
+TALIESIN: Yep.
+
+MATT: Because it’s an ally, I’ll let you move into
+the horse’s space there.
+
+TALIESIN: And now we’re going to take a slice at
+this one. And that’s… that’ll do it. (counting)
+
+25 to hit.
+
+MATT: That’ll hit.
+
+TALIESIN: So. (counting) Ten plus four, 14.
+
+MATT: 14 points of damage, nice.
+
+TALIESIN: And again. 19 and a one.
+
+MATT: That’ll hit.
+
+TALIESIN: Why I love advantage.
+
+MATT: Advantage is nice.
+
+TALIESIN: And that’s… 14 points of damage.
+
+SAM: Wow.
+
+ASHLY and MATT: Ooh.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s got to be dead by now, right?
+
+MATT: No, it’s still alive.
+
+(groans)
+
+TALIESIN: How is that– the one that… really?
+
+MATT: That one hadn’t taken any damage.
+
+TALIESIN: It had!
+
+MATT: Oh wait, no! Oh sorry. I was writing that
+down under the wrong one.
+
+TALIESIN: (explosions, screeching)
+
+MATT: My apologies. Yes, it is dead.
+
+ASHLY: (laughter)
+
+MATT: I was writing it under the wrong one. So as
+you dart off behind, the first two strikes you
+
+unleash carve it into two pieces. You watch as the
+creature, as it’s turning around to hiss and rear
+
+back, its pincers about to carve into your face,
+you watch as the head just rolls off of its body
+
+and there behind you see Molly standing there with
+the blades out.
+
+ASHLY: Whoa.
+
+TALIESIN: I needed this. And I’m going to hide
+behind the tree trunk from the other one.
+
+MATT: Okay, you’re going to– right there?
+
+TALIESIN: Last of my movement. Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay. That finishes your go, Molly. Nott,
+you’re up.
+
+SAM: I’ll move within range, crossbow bolt range.
+You know what?
+
+MATT: The inner range is what?
+
+SAM: 30.
+
+MATT: It’s just out of your 30 range.
+
+SAM: No, you know what? I’ll stay put and I will
+cast… I will cast Silent Image in a flanking
+
+position to Beau. And I will create a second Beau
+just standing there in front of the creature and
+
+try to help Beau.
+
+MATT: So mysteriously…
+
+MARISHA: It’s a different color palette? Color
+palette swaps.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s Street Fighter-style.
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Beau and Ken.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Perfect. All right, so. As the image of Beau
+appears before, just standing there quietly
+
+shifting, holding its space.
+
+SAM: And I’ll bonus action hide, just behind that
+little–
+
+MATT: You can use your movement to go behind and
+then hide if you want to.
+
+SAM: Sure, great.
+
+MATT: All right, so go ahead and roll a stealth
+check.
+
+SAM: Natural 20.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TALIESIN: Oh! This is cool.
+
+MATT: You teleport through campaigns. You’re
+somehow in campaign one.
+
+SAM: Great. Ooh.
+
+MATT: All right. That finishes Nott’s turn.
+
+SAM: It’s not as emotionally deep as this one.
+
+TALIESIN: Give it time, give it time.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: Nice patronus, by the way.
+
+LIAM: Time travel too far.
+
+SAM: Yep.
+
+MATT: So it’s now that guy’s turn. Currently
+surrounded by Beaus–
+
+TALIESIN: Too many Beaus.
+
+MATT: Too many Beaus. It’s going to go ahead and
+see if it can gather which one is the real threat.
+
+Rolls a natural 19. So even with its low
+intelligence, it can discern the nature of which–
+
+TALIESIN: That palette swap’s terrible.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Really? Puce? It’s going to go ahead and
+make a bite attack towards you, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: That is going to be a 12 to hit?
+
+MARISHA: Miss.
+
+MATT: Yeah. It just reaches out with its pincers.
+You manage to go ahead and duck out of the side
+
+and slam your bo into it, causing it to just
+completely miss you. It rears back. It does not
+
+regain its acid spray and that’s its turn.
+
+SAM: Wow. That’s great.
+
+MATT: Both horses just go running off the board
+into the fray. Or away from the fray.
+
+TALIESIN: We have oats, they’ll come back.
+
+SAM: Maybe.
+
+MATT: All right, that brings us to Keg.
+
+ASHLY: Can I get there with the 25 feet speed?
+
+MATT: You can.
+
+ASHLY: Delightful. I’m going to smack him.
+
+SAM: Nope.
+
+ASHLY: I won’t smack him. I’ll try again to smack
+him.
+
+SAM: Ooh.
+
+ASHLY: I will smack him. And then I’m going to do
+nine damage to that boy.
+
+MATT: Nine damage to that one.
+
+ASHLY: As a bonus action, I’ll smack him again. I
+will smack him, and then I’ll smack him one more
+
+time, and that’s going to be seven damage.
+
+MATT: Seven points of damage. The first one swings
+wide, no impact. The second one slams as a
+
+backhand into its armor, causing it to crack.
+Using that opening, you pull back with your
+
+battleaxe and jam it into the wound, carving in
+deeper. It’s looking pretty hurt, but it’s still
+
+standing. Anything else you wanted to do in your
+turn?
+
+ASHLY: No, I’m going to hang.
+
+MATT: You’re going to hang back?
+
+SAM: You’re going to keg stand there?
+
+ASHLY: I’m going to keg stand there. I’m proud of
+you, Sam.
+
+MATT: That’s what happens when you get Emmy award
+winners at the table. You get that.
+
+ASHLY: That’s the height that we can accomplish
+though.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’s about it. You’ve peaked at this
+point, we’re done after this. It’s all downhill.
+
+SAM: There’s horses around, there might be a pony
+keg at some point, I don’t know. We’re going to
+
+work on it.
+
+MATT: We’ll work on it. That ends your go, Keg.
+Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I feel the wind and then shoot three Magic
+Missiles out of my hand at the thing.
+
+MATT: As you finish your attacks, you glance over
+your shoulder as you hear this sound. You look in
+
+the distance; you see Caleb– who at this point
+has been this dirty hobo in the background– all
+
+of a sudden, fire these three mystical arcane
+missiles that glow and arc off anime-missile
+
+style, through the woods, avoiding trees, and all
+three slamming into the sides of this creature. Go
+
+ahead and roll damage.
+
+LIAM: That’s a four and also (counting) six– I’ve
+got to change this dice, that is a ten total.
+
+MATT: Ten total. (multiple impacts) It sits there
+for a second after the impact, leaving these large
+
+craters in the side of its chitinous armor where
+it’s cracked and bits of liquid are spilling out
+
+of it. It looks heavily wounded, but it’s still
+alive.
+
+LIAM: Was ist los?
+
+MATT: You’re going to stay where you’re put?
+
+LIAM: I will go crouch by Nott.
+
+MATT: Revealing her position.
+
+SAM: Hey! Get away from me! No!
+
+LIAM: I didn’t make any noise. I just sit down.
+
+MATT: That’s all good. That finishes Caleb’s go.
+Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: First attack. 14.
+
+MATT: That just hits.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, no, 13. Sorry, my math is wonky
+today. That doesn’t hit, does it?
+
+MATT: 13 does not hit.
+
+SAM: There’s no advantage because my Silent Image
+is there?
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, no. Nothing is actually
+flanking it.
+
+MARISHA: Second attack. That hits, that’s 18.
+
+MATT: 18 hits.
+
+MARISHA: That is– what did I roll on that one? I
+forgot. I don’t know what it was. Sorry, 15 damage
+
+for the first one.
+
+MATT: 15 points of damage on the first hit?
+
+MARISHA: Yes.
+
+MATT: Beau, how do you want to do this? As you and
+Keg are both there clamoring on two sides of it,
+
+the image of yourself on the opposite end, what do
+you want to do?
+
+MARISHA: As I see Keg bash it in a little bit of
+its insect armor, I take my staff and I get up
+
+under its exoskeleton and I start prying it off
+and I punch it to death.
+
+MATT: As you crowbar off a large part of its
+exterior insectoid armor skeleton, it exposes this
+
+horrible yellowish, sinewy muscle interior as all
+the striations are pulling off of the armor. As
+
+it’s exposed, it tries to go in to protect itself,
+but you’re too quick, and you zero in and plunge
+
+your fist into its body as it falls to the ground
+with a horrible sucking, guttural, slimy death and
+
+pull it out.
+
+TALIESIN: If you squeeze and twist, you can make
+it stand up again and you can make the arms move.
+
+MATT: Technically–
+
+LIAM: (singing) Hello my baby!
+
+ASHLY: You guys nasty, I like it.
+
+MARISHA: Does anybody have a Wet-Nap?
+
+TALIESIN: Use the ground.
+
+SAM: I’m going to take off running after the
+horses to see if I can catch up with them.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Please check on Water Closet!
+
+TALIESIN: This is a dead horse or can it be
+revived?
+
+MATT: You can go ahead and make a medicine check.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to make a medicine check for
+my horse.
+
+LIAM: Does it have Jester’s shield on it?
+
+SAM: Didn’t we leave the shield?
+
+MATT: No, the shield was strapped onto one of the
+horses.
+
+TALIESIN: My medicine check is nine.
+
+MATT: You’re not sure but it looks dire.
+
+ASHLY: Can I check?
+
+MATT: Sure, if you want to go ahead and step up to
+the horse. Make a medicine check.
+
+ASHLY: 13?
+
+MATT: Unless this horse gets some serious
+treatment, it’s done.
+
+LIAM: It’s suffering, put it down.
+
+ASHLY: I take my axe and I slam it down on its
+neck.
+
+MATT: Instantly mercy killed.
+
+TALIESIN: Neigh.
+
+MATT: Nott, you do manage to catch up to the other
+horses. They didn’t go full sprint into infinity.
+
+They slowed down and once they got a safe distance
+from the action– you manage to recover two of
+
+them. There’s still your horse by the house; you
+still have three horses.
+
+MARISHA: Check Water Closet.
+
+SAM: John, Crapper, and Toilet. Water Closet’s
+dead.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, he’s very dead.
+
+MATT: You can go check.
+
+TALIESIN: Water Closet is possibly new pocket
+jerky at this point.
+
+SAM: We can go check Water Closet I guess?
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a medicine check as you
+approach.
+
+SAM: That would be a three.
+
+MATT: Water Closet looks not long for this world.
+
+SAM: I’m going to try to cut out the tongue. Maybe
+that’s something I can eat later.
+
+MATT: Okay. Water Closet is still technically
+holding onto life.
+
+SAM: Ugh. I don’t know that.
+
+MATT: No. Water Closet’s final horrible moment is
+its riders cutting its tongue out.
+
+SAM: (sobbing)
+
+ASHLY: Why do you hang out with this guy– lady.
+
+MARISHA: He came up with this one; they were a
+package deal.
+
+ASHLY: Why do you hang out with it?
+
+LIAM: She is extremely useful.
+
+ASHLY: At cutting out horse tongues?
+
+SAM: (eating noises)
+
+LIAM: Among other things, yeah.
+
+ASHLY: That’s the most fucked-up shit I’ve ever
+seen, and I grew up in Shadycreek Run.
+
+MARISHA: We have three horses, and there’s five of
+us.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+MARISHA: Can we double up?
+
+MATT: It’s possible.
+
+MARISHA: Nott doubles up with Caleb.
+
+SAM: Maybe the two smalls should–
+
+ASHLY: I’m not going on a horse with her.
+
+SAM: What? I’ve bonded with its essence now.
+
+ASHLY: I’m not going on a horse with her!
+
+TALIESIN: Keg can ride with me, this is not a
+problem. If you want.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, that’s fine.
+
+SAM: I’ve got the booze.
+
+ASHLY: You know, for the first time in my life,
+I’m willing to sacrifice booze–
+
+LIAM: Scared straight.
+
+ASHLY: Scared straight. You can take that shit on
+the road.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re already taking a good hard look
+at your decisions. This is good.
+
+MATT: As you guys begin to try and work out your
+arrangements and the horses, unfortunately, due to
+
+the heavy nature of your armor and the broad form
+and heavy body of Keg, it looks like you won’t be
+
+able to fit Keg and one other individual on a
+horse. But there are other combinations that might work.
+
+MARISHA: Nott, team up with Caleb.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll ride with you then.
+
+SAM: Would that work?
+
+TALIESIN: You get your own horse.
+
+ASHLY: Ay.
+
+MARISHA: Can me and Molly team up?
+
+MATT: You and Molly can do it, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I have their armor.
+
+SAM: Wait, we have three– yeah, okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, that’ll do it.
+
+MATT: Keg’s about as dense as two of you.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I noticed back there that you were using your
+hands and weapon stuff and things. You’re not a
+
+healer or anything?
+
+ASHLY: You cracked the case, my man.
+
+TALIESIN: Truly nothing escapes your astute
+observation.
+
+SAM: You don’t have any potions of healing or
+anything that could maybe heal someone if anyone
+
+needing healing would–
+
+ASHLY: Who needs healing?
+
+SAM: No one now, but in the future– it’s a
+frequent occurrence for us.
+
+TALIESIN: Going to go back to that cabin and take
+a short rest for a minute.
+
+SAM: Do any of us have any potions?
+
+MARISHA: I have a potion.
+
+LIAM: I have a potion. I start to look to see what
+Jester’s got inside the haversack other than the
+
+dodecahedron and our tent.
+
+MATT: Unless I am mistaken–
+
+SAM: She had a Greater Healing potion, however, I
+don’t know if she had that on her or kept it in
+
+the sack.
+
+TALIESIN: It would have been in the sack.
+
+LIAM: She had a Heroes’ Feast in there, I think.
+
+MATT: I’m going to go ahead and check one element
+of this because it will–
+
+SAM: I think we have her notebook in the locker.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you want me to go look at the
+locker?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, her notebook might even be–
+
+SAM: No, I felt around in there.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, it might be in the locker then.
+
+ASHLY: What time is it now, after all the
+bug-battling?
+
+MATT: The battle was pretty quick. You still have
+probably another hour and a half, two hours,
+
+before sundown.
+
+ASHLY: Of daylight? Is there anything to harvest
+from those bugs?
+
+MATT: If you want to go ahead and take a shot at
+trying–
+
+SAM: Did the light just change in here?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: It was in battle mode, did you notice?
+
+ASHLY: Ooh, fancy!
+
+TALIESIN: Look at the fancy.
+
+SAM: The light is moving.
+
+MATT: New toys.
+
+TALIESIN and MARISHA: New toys.
+
+MATT: I’ve wanted to have a setup like that since
+high school. And now I can.
+
+MARISHA: 12.
+
+MATT: You’ve never encountered these creatures;
+you don’t have much of an understanding of their
+
+anatomy beyond the experience you had extracting
+the aspects from them, which actually would give
+
+you a little better idea of their physicality in
+some places. Because you looked at their
+
+constitution and dexterity, I’ll say that you know
+that the tendons and some of the muscle sinew that
+
+they use in the inside of their body is very
+strong and very tight and can be used as cording.
+
+It can be used for anything that would involve a
+very strong piece of cord or rope.
+
+MARISHA: What about their acidic venom situation,
+their venom sacs?
+
+LIAM: Caleb comes up behind.
+
+MATT: That could possibly be harvested. It’s a
+dangerous process, you can certainly try.
+
+MARISHA: Like I might die trying?
+
+MATT: I don’t know, you can certainly try. It’s
+trying to carefully remove a giant sac of natural
+
+acid from a creature’s body. You want to roll the
+dice?
+
+TALIESIN: Are you feeling lucky, punk?
+
+LIAM: Hold on. Here, there’s the dodecahedron.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: All right. Well, you have to pull it out.
+You have to remove it.
+
+MARISHA: I did.
+
+SAM: Just stare back.
+
+MATT: You watch as they pull this pack out and
+Beau, reaching in, pulls out this strange,
+
+12-sided construction. It looks like it’s some
+sort of an opaque crystal, almost like a marble
+
+type of color. It’s grayish and it’s undulating
+with some slight pulsing light, like a faint
+
+heartbeat, with these golden handles affixed to
+it. As she pulls it out and begins to focus on it,
+
+there’s this moment of distant meditation before
+she comes back with a breath and places it back
+
+in. It’s a strange sight.
+
+ASHLY: You’re all into some freaky shit.
+
+LIAM: Made by gnomes.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Do you have a blade to harvest?
+
+LIAM: I have a dagger. Here, use mine.
+
+MARISHA: I do have a dagger.
+
+LIAM: I shoot out the globules of light to float
+around the corpse.
+
+MARISHA: And I put my goggles on. Safety first.
+
+LIAM: It’s very bright. Super bright.
+
+MATT: Super bright right now.
+
+MARISHA: Pull up the hood and I buckle myself up.
+I take my scarf from around my waist and tie it
+
+around me for a facemask.
+
+LIAM: You can do this, and I walk twenty feet
+back.
+
+MATT: I will say, because of your understanding of
+its body from extracting the aspects of it, do you
+
+wish to utilize nature or medicine for this roll?
+Giving you the choice.
+
+MARISHA: Medicine, it’s higher.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make your check.
+
+MARISHA: Just a straight check?
+
+MATT: Just a straight check. Skill check with
+medicine bonus, whatever that may be.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20!
+
+ASHLY and TALIESIN: Whoa!
+
+TALIESIN: Finally!
+
+MARISHA: I’m back!
+
+MATT: You’ve seen Beau be pretty precise in combat
+and pinpointing the weak elements of an opponent’s
+
+body. This is almost poetry. The surgical
+precision in which Beauregard takes the dagger and
+
+cuts, pulls, rips, pulls and lifts. Tucks, finds,
+cuts, removes, and within a matter of about a
+
+minute, a minute and a half, there is a sac about
+the size of a basketball– the ends have been tied
+
+off and feels like a water balloon.
+
+ASHLY: Keg is aroused.
+
+MARISHA: Got the sac, now what? Do you have any
+more flasks or anything to put it in?
+
+SAM: I have a couple of empty vials, but they’re
+small. I’ve worked with chemicals before, I could
+
+try to put this acid in the vials and stopper
+them.
+
+MARISHA: If we poke– if you have a little tube or
+something that is straw, a little bamboo straw,
+
+put it in there, and go down?
+
+SAM: Sure. Would three vials of acid be useful to
+us?
+
+MARISHA: I think it would be useful to you for
+sure.
+
+SAM: Sure, all right. I’ll try to make a little
+needle prick in the bladder and try to pour them
+
+into these vials that I got from The Gentleman.
+
+MARISHA: Can I help with my natural 20?
+
+MATT: Make a dexterity check, just a straight
+dexterity check.
+
+SAM: Okay. That’s 16.
+
+MATT: That’s good. You do not just puncture a
+balloon while looking directly at it. You manage
+
+to find one of the areas that taper within this
+organ, whatever it is that was removed, and manage
+
+to siphon it off in a way where you can fill the
+rest of your vials, however many empty vials you have.
+
+SAM: I have three from The Gentleman.
+
+MATT: Yeah. You have three vials of acid now.
+
+SAM: Okay. Great. Would you like one? You did
+this.
+
+MARISHA: I think they’re better to be used on your
+bolts and things like that.
+
+SAM: I don’t know how I would put it on there.
+
+MARISHA: Can’t he–?
+
+MATT: It’s more of a tossed weapon or used to
+dissolve things.
+
+SAM: Why don’t you take one?
+
+MARISHA: All right, I’ll take one.
+
+SAM: Molly, do you want some acid? Do you want to
+drop some acid?
+
+TALIESIN: I feel like if you give it to me, I’m
+going to end up dropping it and it’s not really
+
+going to be that useful.
+
+SAM: Caleb, do you want–?
+
+LIAM: You’re far more dexterous than I.
+
+SAM: How about I’ll give you two, and I’ll keep
+one since I already have one that I made.
+
+ASHLY: You didn’t ask me if I wanted some acid.
+
+LIAM: Are you dexterous?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah?
+
+LIAM: Show us.
+
+ASHLY: 15. I do a back flip, I don’t know.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLY: It’s acrobatics, but fuck it.
+
+LIAM: I’d say she earned one, yeah?
+
+SAM: All right. Here you go.
+
+ASHLY: Thank you.
+
+SAM: Are we friends again?
+
+ASHLY: Were we ever?
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: I’m very happy.
+
+MATT: You guys have taken a short time– it’s
+taken about half an hour or so for you to go
+
+through this process of extracting that and
+carefully filling these vials and discussing
+
+amongst yourselves who would get what. You have
+about an hour until dusk hits.
+
+TALIESIN: I say we just camp at the house, at this
+point. I need rest and we have… Not going to get
+
+much further.
+
+MARISHA: It’s fine with me. You guys fine with
+that?
+
+LIAM: Short rest, you said? Sorry, was reading my
+book.
+
+TALIESIN: I say we wake up early. It’s going to be
+dusk in less than an hour.
+
+ASHLY: The house feels a little exposed to me.
+
+TALIESIN: Well…
+
+ASHLY: Plus all the weird buggy guys were around
+there. If there are more, they would come back.
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry, did we get any horses? Just
+enough to fit us all on, condensed, right.
+
+SAM: What time is it? Sorry.
+
+MATT: About an hour until dusk.
+
+SAM: Oh, well, we can make some more headway on
+the road and then go at full dark. We could camp
+
+at full dark.
+
+TALIESIN: Wherever we happen to find ourselves.
+
+ASHLY: Are we within range of the forests?
+
+MATT: Yes, about here is where the forest begins,
+and that is where you began your confrontation.
+
+You’re right on the edge of the forest.
+
+LIAM: I think we should continue to make time as
+well.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Can I climb a tree and do I see
+anything on the horizon in where we’re going, like
+
+another tree clearing that looks like it might be
+up ahead?
+
+MATT: Make an athletics check.
+
+MARISHA: Athletics?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: 24.
+
+SAM: Jesus.
+
+MARISHA: Rolled an 18.
+
+MATT: Like a monkey that was raised in the jungle,
+you watch Beauregard leap from branch to bough,
+
+effortlessly diving through this forest.
+
+ASHLY: Keg is aroused.
+
+MARISHA: Whatever you cast on me, Caleb, is
+like… I feel so good!
+
+MATT and LIAM: It’s gone.
+
+MARISHA: But the lingering effects, you know, I’m
+in the afterglow!
+
+MATT: The afterglow of Haste.
+
+TALIESIN: It was just tea. We just gave you tea to
+smoke, it wasn’t really…
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Herbal tea, man. Just chamomile tea.
+
+MARISHA: So relaxed.
+
+MATT: You make it up into the canopy. Make a
+perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. 17.
+
+MATT: Even at the tallest tree, most around you,
+all you can see are other trees of varying
+
+heights. Looking in the northeast direction,
+beyond where you just came from, you can see the
+
+house, you can see bits of natural rock that maybe
+had either been left by some long-ago volcanic
+
+detonation in the distance, or pushed up through
+the ground by tectonic movement, you’re not sure.
+
+You see elements of stone that have broken through
+bits of the grass and open fields, part of the
+
+natural fields here. You haven’t actually traveled
+this far north, so it’s unfamiliar topography to
+
+you– you’ve only heard about it– but it’s
+interesting to see that the further north you get,
+
+the more rocky the terrain seems to get in the
+direction you’re traveling. You do see, far in the
+
+distance, what could possibly be the road that
+you’re getting to, but it’s a ways off to get to
+
+that direction.
+
+MARISHA: I climb back down. I say we gather some
+branches, some scrap wood for firewood, in case
+
+this might be the only forest we come across in a
+while. See as far as we can get, maybe we can hide
+
+under a rock for shelter or something.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve still got my tent, so, sure.
+
+MARISHA: I shoved one in the haversack too.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+MATT: You guys continue for the next hour or so,
+skirting along the forest.
+
+MARISHA: I gathered some stuff.
+
+LIAM: As they leave, Caleb scooches Frumpkin on
+the head and says: You know, she always forgets
+
+about you, but I do not.
+
+MARISHA: It’s such a quiet bird. I’m used to very
+loud birds.
+
+MATT: You guys gather some kindling, get back to
+your three horses and your comparatively
+
+uncomfortable riding arrangement, and continue on
+for another hour on the outside of the forest
+
+before the sun does eventually vanish. The graying
+sky is getting darker and darker, the faint bits
+
+of orange that poke through– it’s not a beautiful
+sunset, you only catch the faint hues that manage
+
+to push through the gloom, but the sky grows dark
+enough to the point where you think you should set
+
+up camp. Are you setting up camp at the edge of
+the forest, on the inside of the forest, on the
+
+outside of the forest, what’s your preference?
+
+LIAM: Off inside, I think.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, I think inside as well.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys set up camp. Who’s keeping
+first watch?
+
+LIAM: I will.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll also do first watch.
+
+LIAM: I will begin it by putting out the silver
+thread around the group.
+
+MATT: You guys want to both individually roll
+perception or one aid the other? With the help action.
+
+SAM: Help action!
+
+LIAM: Individual.
+
+TALIESIN: Individual.
+
+LIAM: Because I can’t decide.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: Natural 20.
+
+LIAM: Better than my 16.
+
+MATT: Plus?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh. Plus… three. 23.
+
+MATT: All righty. As everyone’s settling in,
+begins to find their initial portions of rest, you
+
+guys have your small fire there on the edge.
+Molly, you glance off deeper into the forest…
+
+and your eyes, even at this distance, catch a
+faint glimmer of matching flame. You see a faint
+
+bit of firelight sparkling about 200 feet deeper
+into the forest.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s another… there’s another
+campfire.
+
+LIAM: How far away?
+
+TALIESIN: 200 feet, give or take.
+
+LIAM: Uh…
+
+TALIESIN: Do you want to send a bird, maybe?
+
+LIAM: I would send one of two things. One is our
+little friend here, or–
+
+TALIESIN: She’s sleeping.
+
+LIAM: Or I… lose the peregrine and go back to
+something else a little less noticeable.
+
+TALIESIN: I’d say go ahead. I figure if they were
+meaning us any harm they wouldn’t set a fire.
+
+LIAM: And it’s dark out now, yeah?
+
+MATT: It is dark, yeah. It’s probably pushing
+10:00, 10:30.
+
+LIAM: (sighs) I would know if an owl– Owls can
+see in the dark?
+
+MATT: Owls are nocturnal yes. You would know
+that.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay. Okay. I’m going to change
+Frumpkin again, out of peregrine into an owl. I
+
+will mark that off on my supplies. I’ve got one
+more after this that I can do.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: We get a long rest.
+
+LIAM: And uh– No, I mean I need incense but
+anyway–
+
+MATT: You don’t have your long rests yet, so don’t
+mark that yet.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. I send Frumpkin tree to tree in that
+direction. Maybe, 20 feet and wait a moment and
+
+then another 20 feet.
+
+MATT: Okay. So as Frumpkin begins to crawl through
+the forest in the direction of the fire, we’re
+
+going to go ahead and take a break.
+
+SAM: Oh. Wait, no. What? Huh? Oh.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Yeah. It’s almost nine o'clock so we’re
+going to take a break.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: So we’ll be back here in a few minutes.
+Thank you for coming along with us for this bit so
+
+far. We’ll be back to continue from where we left
+off there. We do have our first giveaway at our
+
+first break in the new studio.
+
+(cheers)
+
+MATT: There are some changes and such so reminding
+you guys that moving forward we’ll be doing the
+
+Wyrmwood giveaway at the Critical Role Twitch
+chat. So you need to head to
+
+twitch.tv/criticalrole for the break to enter. If
+you’re watching on Alpha or Geek & Sundry just
+
+switch over and you can head on back over when
+you’re done. Right now, the offer, once again,
+
+only stands for people in the US and Canada
+excluding Quebec because of weird giveaway rules
+
+and laws. However, tonight’s prize is a Wyrmwood
+cherry dice tower with this fantastic cartography
+
+burned in of maps designed by our fantastic Deven
+Rue, who you may recognize, who’s done the map of
+
+the Dwendalian Empire that we have here as well as
+other amazing bits and also designed the compass
+
+rose on our map. She’s amazing. Her work’s amazing
+and while this isn’t available with Wyrmwood yet,
+
+keep an eye out because cool stuff like this might
+be showing up more often. So this will be given
+
+away to some lucky person in the break. Need to go
+into the Critical Role Twitch chat and enter only
+
+one time. Enter the key phrase “Kegstand.” So
+enter it once. Magnets, it’s magic. So enter it
+
+once; more than once, you’ll be disqualified and
+we’ll announce the winner here at the end of the
+
+break so we’ll see you here in a few minutes.
+
+ASHLY: That’s cute.
+
+SAM: Wait, which chat?
+
+MATT: Critical Role.
+
+SAM: Okay, cool. You’ve said that. You said that,
+right?
+
+MATT: I did. Like twice. All righty. Break time
+guys, let’s go.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Welcome back, everybody. We have our winner
+of our giveaway for this fantastic Deven Rue
+
+map-etched dice tower by Wyrmwood. It is
+GottaBeKD18. Congratulations, GottaBeKD18, you are
+
+the winner! Danoba will get your contact
+information and we’ll get this sent out to you
+
+ASAP. Well done! You’ve won the first giveaway in
+the new studio. I am excited for you to try it
+
+out; it’s quite delightful. All righty. Bringing
+us back into where we left off. Frumpkin wanders
+
+off through the darkened forest.
+
+SAM: (hooting)
+
+MARISHA: Oh yeah, he’s an owl now. He’s so cute.
+
+SAM: One, two, three.
+
+MARISHA: Mr. Owl was a dick. It was a dick move.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, it really was.
+
+MATT: One, two, three, fuck you. As Frumpkin
+begins–
+
+[owl hooting]
+
+SAM: What the fuck was that, Matt?! There was an
+owl that just hooted on the soundtrack.
+
+MATT: Yeah. We’re in a forest at night, guys.
+Frumpkin makes his way through the dark tree
+
+bottoms, eventually coming upon– actually, this
+would be a more creepy setting for this, I think.
+
+That’s better. Frumpkin slowly comes upon the
+warmth of this distant fire, closer and closer
+
+until coming around the corner, seeing a small
+fire heating a cauldron of some kind, some metal
+
+bowl. A bit of steam is rising off of whatever
+liquid is in the interior. You see an elderly
+
+woman in darker, tattered clothing that drapes off
+of the body, hunched but tall, very tall, like six
+
+and a half feet tall at a hunch. Make a perception
+check for Frumpkin, please, at this distance with disadvantage.
+
+LIAM: With disadvantage?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Perception, you said? 14.
+
+MATT: The skin of this woman is a faint gray
+color, almost a gray-blue tint. The hair is this
+
+matted mess of tangled white and gray that is
+pulled back and tied behind the head where it
+
+cascades over the shoulders. The ears are long and
+pointed, out to the sides a bit. The nose is wide
+
+and pressed up into the face. She is going back
+and forth from this little hovel that’s on the
+
+opposite side, that’s built between two trees: a
+large thick one and another that seems to have
+
+fallen and come to rest at an angle next to it. In
+that small cranny between the two trees, you can
+
+see this little hut built of thatch and sticks and
+rope to construct this little home. It’s almost
+
+like an arch that’s holding it up. Near the ground
+of this cauldron, you see a child of some kind
+
+that is sitting on the ground, holding knees to
+its chest. It looks to be a boy.
+
+LIAM: Knees to chest?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: Okay. She is paying him no mind at the
+moment?
+
+MATT: At the moment, no. It looks like she is
+going to and from this little homestead and
+
+putting things into this cauldron.
+
+LIAM: I whisper in fragments what I saw through
+Frumpkin’s eyes the whole time, but I’m still
+
+looking and I can’t hear anybody.
+
+MARISHA: Do you have any awake?
+
+TALIESIN: Just us.
+
+LIAM: Oh, right, I would be holding onto Molly.
+This is reminding me of stories that my mother
+
+told me when I was very young. Not good ones,
+things to scare me into following the rules. I
+
+come out of it.
+
+TALIESIN: A child?
+
+LIAM: And a woman, or not.
+
+TALIESIN: That does have a vibration, doesn’t it?
+I’m not at my best right now. If they’re human,
+
+even if they’re friendly, I’m not the first face
+you’d want to see.
+
+LIAM: Quickly. Have to think here, because
+everyone else is sleeping and that didn’t look
+
+good for that little boy, but then it doesn’t
+really help us with what we are doing, but then
+
+the child. What to do?
+
+TALIESIN: You have a friendly owl.
+
+LIAM: I go back into Frumpkin to see what’s going
+on.
+
+MATT: Okay. You watch now as the woman takes a
+small clay cup and dips it into this cauldron and
+
+pulls out this steaming mass of liquid that she’s
+contained within it, turns to the child, walks
+
+over and kneels down beside. Places the long
+fingers along the shoulder and hands the cup to
+
+the child. The child takes it, looking at her, and
+slowly sips from it. Burns the mouth a little bit.
+
+LIAM: I swat at Molly and say: Wake the others.
+
+TALIESIN: Fine. I start quietly waking.
+
+MARISHA, SAM, and ASHLY: What? What?
+
+TALIESIN: I somehow woke everyone at the exact
+same time. It’s one of my many powers.
+
+SAM: We were all spooning.
+
+TALIESIN: Left hand, right hand, tail. I got it
+all working at once. We’ve got a bit of a
+
+situation outside.
+
+SAM: Where?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s going to require some delicacy.
+
+SAM: Is Caleb gone?
+
+TALIESIN: Caleb’s dead. It’s all over.
+
+SAM: No!
+
+MARISHA: You’re looking at him.
+
+SAM: Okay. I didn’t know if he was a phantom or
+something.
+
+ASHLY: What’s going on?
+
+TALIESIN: There’s a boy, there’s an old woman.
+
+LIAM: I’m not sure, but I think there is a young
+child that’s in danger there. We seemed to care
+
+about the bird child, maybe we care about this
+one. I don’t know.
+
+SAM: Of course.
+
+ASHLY: Why do we give a shit?
+
+SAM: It’s a baby.
+
+ASHLY: Ah, fuck.
+
+LIAM: We got to act right now.
+
+ASHLY: What does the woman look like?
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to groggily stumble over, put
+on my googles as I start stumbling towards the light.
+
+LIAM: She looked dead. She did not look natural.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to stay 30 feet behind and try
+and stealth.
+
+MATT: Beauregard, you’re leading up?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’m going to walk and I’m like:
+It’s bright enough, and I got to pee anyway. I’ll
+
+be right back.
+
+MATT: So not stealthing?
+
+SAM: Maybe you should not go first.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, no, I’ll stealth a little bit.
+
+MATT: Roll a stealth check, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. That was almost good. 11.
+
+MATT: Who else is following Beau?
+
+SAM: I’m going to not follow, but go off to the
+side and try to go around the other way.
+
+MATT: Stealth check from you.
+
+TALIESIN: We have not had a short rest yet, have
+we?
+
+MATT: Nope.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, just checking.
+
+LIAM: A short rest? I thought we did, back at the
+house.
+
+MATT: A short rest– You didn’t call it out.
+
+MARISHA: But he was on first watch.
+
+LIAM: I happily went, “I get to use arcane
+recovery” in my head because of the conversation
+
+that was happening.
+
+MATT: I will allow a short rest before you guys
+went to bed. It’s fine, I’ll allow it.
+
+SAM: 16.
+
+LIAM: Thank you, Matt.
+
+MATT: The two of you have branched off and are
+stealthing, you think. What are you doing, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: I wanted to go with Nott, about 20 feet
+behind, and cast Mage Armor as I go.
+
+MATT: Okay, and what’s your stealth check?
+
+LIAM: It is a big ten.
+
+MATT: Okay. What are you doing, Keg?
+
+ASHLY: I pick up my battleaxe and there’s a little
+medallion hanging from the bottom of it and I look
+
+at it and I go: Goddamn it, and I try to stealth
+after them. Natural 20.
+
+MATT: You have disadvantage, however, in your
+armor.
+
+ASHLY: Natural 20.
+
+ALL: Whoa!
+
+TALIESIN: That die never does that for me.
+
+LIAM: You did this last time. You’re not human!
+
+MATT: The anti-Wheaton has been found.
+
+LIAM: You can’t come back!
+
+MATT: You can never touch Wil Wheaton, or you guys
+will cancel each other out like the bad guy in
+
+Time Cop. Oh my god. Strangely, the stealthiest of
+all of you is the dwarf in plate armor.
+
+MARISHA: Amazing. It’s lubricated with all the
+blood of her enemies.
+
+MATT: Exactly. All right, Molly, you’re staying 30
+feet back?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m staying 30 feet back and attempting
+a stealth check. That’s cocked. That’s better.
+
+That’s (counting) 12.
+
+MATT: You all slowly begin to approach this fire,
+seeing the shapes and the figures described by
+
+Caleb previously. Beau, you step forward and your
+foot catches an under root and stumble for a
+
+moment. You hear the scrambling of her arms across
+the bottom of the forest floor, the moving and
+
+shifting of leaves and branches. The old woman
+looks up in that direction and looks back at you,
+
+immediately making eye contact with you about 30
+feet away. Her arms immediately jump up in your
+
+direction as she begins to shout, “You! You will
+not take any more of us! I will sooner die!”
+
+MARISHA: I reach back out to her and I go: Yes,
+right?! We are so going to die. I’m with you.
+
+MATT: Make a wisdom saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: Saving throw?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: 15?
+
+MATT: You feel some sort of magical force suddenly
+penetrate your mind, and this sparkle of colors
+
+begin to spray in front of your face that
+completely distract you and obscure your vision
+
+momentarily, but you blink out of it and find the
+effect drift off of your brain. The old woman goes
+
+“(panting),” and reaches down and puts herself in
+front of the boy, between you and the child.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’m not bad. I’m not one of the bad
+guys… That you were definitely talking about.
+
+That I’m aware of, right? What bad guys are you
+talking about?
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Ooh, that’s craziness.
+
+MARISHA: That’s in the middle of nowhere. Okay,
+18.
+
+MATT: Her immediate tension drops slightly. She’s
+still maintaining a very defensive position in
+
+front of the child. One hand is still up, but it
+seems that she’s pulled back a bit from the
+
+aggressive stance she was previously in. As she
+lifts her face a bit, you can see a bit more of
+
+her expression in the light as the hair pulls away
+as she lifts her chin. You can see that the face
+
+is humanoid, but with a wider nose. The skin is
+grayish, almost a blue tint, with bits of a soft
+
+fur. It takes you a second to recognize where
+you’ve seen these features before. This appears to
+
+be the same type of race that Pumat Sol is.
+
+MARISHA: Firbolg?
+
+MATT: It is a firbolg.
+
+MARISHA: Amazing!
+
+MATT: You can see there is a series of necklaces
+that looks to be bones and rocks and stones that
+
+have been polished that dangle around her neck as
+adornments and trinkets. A few bird skulls hanging
+
+on it, as well. The child, also you see, is a
+young firbolg, as well. Knees tucked against his
+
+chest. You can see that the child looks scraped up
+and bruised, and appears to have been injured.
+
+MARISHA: I say, Bad guys kidnapping kids, right?
+That’s scary stuff. Trying to protect your son?
+
+MATT: “Not my son, but we have lost a few, yes.”
+
+MARISHA: Who–
+
+MATT: Looks past you, for a second, to Molly, who
+is not being stealthy, either. “How many are you?”
+
+TALIESIN: One, two, three, four, five–
+
+MARISHA: Currently five–
+
+TALIESIN: Five!
+
+MARISHA: But just call us the Nein. The Mighty
+Nein.
+
+MATT: “Very well.”
+
+MARISHA: Here, M. Nein? (whistles)
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just walking out at this point.
+
+SAM: I’ll slowly emerge from the shadows.
+
+ASHLY: I’m staying in the forest.
+
+LIAM: Same.
+
+MATT: Okay. “I apologize, I’ve been on edge for a
+number of days. You seem to know these people or
+
+“have heard of them at least?”
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve lost a few recently.
+
+MATT: “I’m sorry. I am Jumnda. I’m a healer in my
+aged years for the Guiatao Clan. We are small in
+
+“number and, now, yet smaller still.”
+
+MARISHA: The Guitaya Clan?
+
+MATT: Guiatao.
+
+MARISHA: Guai–
+
+MATT: G-U-I-A-T-A-O.
+
+MARISHA: Guiatao Clan.
+
+MATT: “This little one is Umbo. He is awake now,
+which is good fortune. I’ve been trying to bring
+
+"him back to health for a couple of days.”
+
+MARISHA: You say he’s not your son, but part of
+your clan?
+
+MATT: “Yes, he is under my care now.”
+
+MARISHA: Is the whole clan wiped out? Who’s left?
+
+MATT: The woman, Jumnda, looks around for second
+and takes a deep breath. “Three days back, the
+
+"clan was in celebration for the coming of age for
+young Duma. Roasted boar was prepared, and the
+
+"twenty of us were dancing around the fire when the
+murderers came. Slew Toffah and Wolya with their
+
+"arrows as they danced together. Others fought.
+Fennis died protecting me, and I managed to grab
+
+"Ombo here as he had been beaten within an inch of
+his life to unconsciousness. We fled. But I
+
+"watched as they grabbed others in nets, pulling
+them away as they screamed and yet made no noise.”
+
+You know exactly who and what she’s talking about.
+The methods are very familiar. “When they left, I
+
+"returned to nurse those I could back to health.
+Nila, by some luck, was off when the attack
+
+"happened. She returned to find her love and child
+taken.
+
+MATT: "Nila went off to find them alone. I begged
+her to stay, else she join their fate, but it’s
+
+"impossible to stop a mother when the child is in
+danger. So I fear for her life but I understand
+
+"her drive. So here I am, here he is, and a few
+survivors care to what remains of our village a
+
+"ways back that direction.” She points deeper into
+the forest. “So, you know my story, what’s yours?”
+
+MARISHA: Other half of our party members were
+taken from us in the middle of the night, just
+
+last night. Seems very similar ways, considering
+neither of the rest of us heard anything.
+
+TALIESIN: Just woke up and they were gone.
+
+MATT: “They were lucky.”
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll see.
+
+MATT: “Had you been awake, you might have had the
+urge or instinct to defend them.”
+
+TALIESIN: Well, we’re making our way to see if
+something can be done.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: “Well, you’re as brave as Nila.”
+
+MARISHA: Nila? She’s the one going after them?
+
+MATT: “She was. I don’t know where she is or if
+she has fared well– if they’ve found her. I think
+
+she overestimates her capability.”
+
+MARISHA: What was her son’s name?
+
+MATT: “Her son was Dua.”
+
+ASHLY: Can I do an insight check just to make sure
+that she’s telling the truth?
+
+MATT: You may.
+
+ASHLY: 15.
+
+MATT: 15?
+
+SAM, TALIESIN, and MARISHA: Whispers?
+
+SAM: Guys, D&D Beyond is a wonderful platform, in
+which you can organize your statistics and your
+
+equipment and they’ve just recently done a revamp
+of their layout. Liam, how do you like it?
+
+LIAM: I like it. It feels like I am looking at the
+paper.
+
+SAM: And it’s customizable!
+
+LIAM: It’s customizable. I haven’t customized mine
+yet.
+
+ASHLY: We’re talking about D&D Beyond?
+
+LIAM: Always.
+
+SAM: Nice.
+
+LIAM: Yes, Keg, we are.
+
+ASHLY: I heard it’s a wonderful service.
+
+MATT: “Well, if we indeed have an enemy in common,
+you are welcome to stay with us.” And she glances
+
+across you. “I can perhaps maybe tend to some of
+your wounds. We have tea that’s ready that may
+
+"help you in your journey ahead.”
+
+TALIESIN: I genuinely don’t know how to say no to
+tea.
+
+MARISHA: You couldn’t bring a horse back from the
+dead, could you? Just didn’t know how far your
+
+abilities stretch.
+
+MATT: “I’m afraid that is beyond my capability.”
+
+TALIESIN: You can’t heal a dead horse.
+
+MARISHA: Water Closet’s gone forever–
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Downtrodden.
+
+MARISHA: He saved our lives a lot. (laughing)
+Downtrodden.
+
+SAM: Stop! (whispering) Bastard.
+
+ASHLY: Keg comes out from the forest.
+
+SAM: Ah! I forgot you were with us!
+
+ASHLY: Thanks a lot, Nott! What are we doing
+here?
+
+SAM: Well these people have suffered the same fate
+that our frie–
+
+ASHLY: We going to help every single person we see
+along this road?
+
+SAM: We’re mutually– We’re going after the same
+people that have affected them.
+
+LIAM: (yelling) We were going to camp back there,
+but instead we are going to camp over there!
+
+MARISHA: That’s Caleb. He always stands about 20
+feet back.
+
+LIAM: (yelling) At least!
+
+MATT: “Well, if there are more of you, they are
+welcome as well. I do not know if I have enough
+
+"tea for everyone if there is more, but–”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m feeling all right, but–
+
+LIAM: It’s just the five Neins.
+
+ASHLY: So you’re just offering us a place to stay?
+You don’t want anything out of this?
+
+MATT: “No.”
+
+ASHLY: All right.
+
+SAM: Some people are just good.
+
+TALIESIN: Some people make tea. I’m going to head
+in.
+
+MARISHA: Can you do anything about this acid burn?
+And I sit down next to her.
+
+MATT: “I see that you have encountered some of the
+ankheg variety.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh! They are called ankhegs, you guys!
+
+SAM: Related to you?
+
+ASHLY: No, Nott. Keep trying, you little
+detective. You’ll get it one day.
+
+SAM: The subject seems to be exhibiting signs of
+distress, or at least annoyance.
+
+ASHLY: Annoyance!
+
+MATT: You gather over to their space. It’s a nice,
+lived-in space. You get the sense this is the home
+
+for this medicine woman, who doesn’t live directly
+with the rest of the village. She inspects your
+
+wounds, has some balms and natural remedies to
+help prevent infection. The tea, while it is not
+
+necessarily delicious by any means– it is very
+herbal and medicinal– it does fill you with a
+
+sense of rest and relief, and what restlessness
+you may have been struggling with through a
+
+night’s rest is absolved.
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: Chamomile.
+
+MATT: As you guys manage to say here for the
+evening, you get the benefits of a long rest. You
+
+come to consciousness. Now in the morning day,
+which is a little more peaceful.
+
+TALIESIN: I have cards. We could have played
+cards.
+
+MATT: You awaken. Over by the fire the little boy,
+Ombo, is sitting there, currently with these two
+
+small wooden pikes that are jammed into the side
+and some squirrel-like critters that are hanging
+
+on them that are put towards the fire, cooking. As
+you awaken, Ombo turns and smiles. Doesn’t say
+
+anything, but looks over and inspects them and
+then brings them back and hands them out to you.
+
+SAM: It’s breakfast.
+
+TALIESIN: I will definitely take some.
+
+SAM: I’ll take one. Yes, thank you.
+
+LIAM: Do you understand what I am saying? Do you
+speak? Is his ward awake?
+
+MATT: You don’t see her at the moment, but you do
+hear a bit of rustling in the actual little hovel
+
+in the tree archway.
+
+ASHLY: Can I make a perception check around to
+make sure everything is copacetic?
+
+MATT: You can.
+
+ASHLY: 16.
+
+MATT: You notice that the horses have actually
+been brought closer. They’ve been hitched together
+
+to one of the local stumps, to the circle here. It
+seems that in your rest, your very deep rest
+
+through the evening, a lot of things have been
+tended to and taken care of in your presence.
+
+TALIESIN: They’ve got turn-down service here.
+
+MATT: As part of your long rest, and the tea which
+you took in the evening, you do have advantage on
+
+perception checks for the next eight hours.
+
+LIAM: I bring Frumpkin– without saying a word,
+telepathically, I have Frumpkin come down in front
+
+of the child, and do a little owl nonsensical
+shimmy dance on the ground, just for ten seconds,
+
+to catch his attention, then have Frumpkin flutter
+up and land on his head and gently find purchase
+
+and sit.
+
+MATT: Okay. He freezes on the arrival.
+
+LIAM: I smile.
+
+MATT: He seems to smile again, looking up at you,
+looking up at Frumpkin. Stays frozen in place. At
+
+which point, the doorway opens from the hut and
+Jumna emerges with a small pouch of some kind.
+
+Steps up to the rest of you. “I see you have
+awoken. I know you’ll be on your way shortly, but
+
+"maybe this can help.” She pulls back the top of
+the leather pack and reaches in, and pulls out a
+
+cluster of moss that has been dried, and holds it
+out to whoever’s closest or wishes to take it.
+
+LIAM: Mollymauk will take that.
+
+TALIESIN: Always.
+
+SAM: What does it do?
+
+MATT: “Should you find yourself in a wounded
+state, this should help you with some rapid
+
+"recovery of the wounds.” It acts as a greater
+healing potion, but it takes a minute to
+
+administer, so it’s a non-combat scenario.
+
+SAM: Do you smoke it?
+
+MATT: “No, it is crumbled and then ingested. You
+can also put some in the actual wounds, if you
+
+"like, but it is meant for ingestion.”
+
+SAM: See? People are just nice sometimes.
+
+ASHLY: Never in my experience.
+
+LIAM: Only sometimes.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you know which way this friend of
+yours was heading to find them? It was north on
+
+the path, I suppose.
+
+MATT: “Just north is what I know. North,
+northeast?”
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll see what we can do.
+
+MATT: “If you find her and whatever state you find
+her… if it’s not a good state, will you promise
+
+"me to at least bring her back so we can give her a
+proper burial?”
+
+ASHLY: This ain’t part of my deal.
+
+TALIESIN: If it’s possible we’ll see what we can
+do.
+
+MATT: “That’s all I can ask.”
+
+TALIESIN: All things being equal.
+
+MATT: “Anyway. I thank you. Ombo thanks you.
+And–”
+
+TALIESIN: I look at the kid. Is he freaked out by
+the way I look? Is he–?
+
+MATT: No, not at all.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to go down and try something.
+
+MATT: He does have a giant owl on his shoulder and
+is currently preoccupied with the owl.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try this. I haven’t tried
+this yet. I’m going to hold up the moon card, and
+
+I’m going to try and do a sleight of hand trick
+and flip it to one of my little moon trinkets,
+
+moon baubles.
+
+MATT: Ooh. Make a sleight of hand check.
+
+TALIESIN: It would be the most hilarious natural
+one– eight.
+
+MATT: Eight? Okay. It happens but–
+
+TALIESIN: It’s not beautiful yet–
+
+MATT: The trick is very visible, what you did, the
+kid still seems amused.
+
+TALIESIN: I give him the bauble.
+
+MATT: Smiles. Frumpkin ruffles his feathers, looks
+a bit spooked.
+
+TALIESIN: I give him a little scratch. The
+horses?
+
+SAM: Yes, we should keep going to find their
+friends.
+
+LIAM: Thank you both.
+
+MATT: “Thank you for hopefully doing some good in
+a very dark world.”
+
+LIAM: Well. Dark business at hand.
+
+SAM: Do you know someone named Pumat Sol?
+
+MATT: “Uh… that does not ring a bell?”
+
+SAM: How about one of his friends Pumat Sol or
+Pumat Sol or Pumat Sol?
+
+MATT: “I apologize, I do not.”
+
+SAM: I just thought maybe they knew each other.
+
+LIAM: They all know each other.
+
+SAM: I don’t know how many of these there are!
+
+SAM: Me? I’m–
+
+LIAM: Do you know a goblin named Furgle Burgle?
+
+SAM: No! I don’t know every goblin! There’s lots
+of goblins! I never– All right, all right, point
+
+taken, point taken.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: As you guys gather your things, get the
+horses ready, Ombo approaches and gives a little
+
+wave. You watch as Jumma approaches from behind
+and rests her hand on his shoulder. Looks up to
+
+you and says, “Please, be safe.”
+
+MARISHA: We’ll try. Thank you. Man, normally Fjord
+is here to do this part.
+
+SAM: No, that was really good!
+
+TALIESIN: You did very well.
+
+LIAM: That is the best you ever did.
+
+MARISHA: Thank you. that does feel good. I did
+something today.
+
+TALIESIN: You were nearly charming.
+
+MATT: Charming adjacent?
+
+MARISHA: All right. We leave.
+
+LIAM: As we leave, Frumpkin’s head does that crazy
+owl thing that goes 180 and flips around and just
+
+looks as–
+
+MATT: As you vanish into the treeline, Ombo the
+child seems transfixed by the owl’s behavior
+
+before disappearing behind the trees, and you guys
+find your way back to the open fields of the
+
+northern Marrow Valley. So. Now back on horseback,
+what pace are you traveling at? Are you still
+
+going at a fast pace?
+
+LIAM: We are well-rested.
+
+MARISHA: We’ve already lost two of our horses, why
+not lose a few more?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re the Three Amigos is really–
+
+LIAM: Now all of us know– ooh I went Vax. All of
+us know, what you already knew, which is– yes,
+
+still hurts– that these people are terrible. And
+deserve no mercy.
+
+SAM: Not the firbolgs we just met, right? You were
+talking about the people who kidnapped our friends.
+
+LIAM: What do you think?
+
+SAM: I think– we’re still talking about the
+people who kidnapped our friends.
+
+TALIESIN: Everybody’s doing so much better
+suddenly. It’s as if the vacuum means other people
+
+have to start pulling some slack. It’s nice.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+TALIESIN: Well suddenly you’re being kind of
+charismatic. Nott’s making moralistic judgments
+
+that are in the direction of reasonable.
+
+SAM: Sure, sure.
+
+ASHLY: I will say that I don’t want to get hung up
+trying to help those people while we’re in Shady Run.
+
+LIAM: Oh, you know. If we can. We’re not
+altruistic by nature, either.
+
+ASHLY: All right.
+
+MARISHA: You know, if we stumble upon one of them
+maybe be like, “Hey. Met your grandma.”
+
+TALIESIN: Some days it’s not hard to do a good
+turn.
+
+LIAM: But let’s be clear, we’re going to eliminate
+the problem.
+
+TALIESIN: Cheers.
+
+LIAM: Save our friends. And if we can do something
+extra, we do something extra. When we can.
+
+SAM: And maybe even complete our mission.
+
+TALIESIN: I’d forgotten about that.
+
+MARISHA: I know that’s a big deal, that whole
+mission completing thing.
+
+TALIESIN: Been a little distracted.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: All right, let’s run these bastards down,
+ja?
+
+MATT: All right. Are you going at a normal pace,
+or a fast pace?
+
+MARISHA: Fast pace.
+
+SAM: At a fast pace Matthew– I’m on horseback
+with Caleb right? Could I be on the back, maybe
+
+just flipping through Jester’s sketchbook?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’m going to look through the whole
+thing.
+
+MATT: All right. It is absurd. There are sketches
+across the spectrum of silly-faced interpretations
+
+and caricatures of the people you’ve met, of each
+of you. There are little notes to The Traveler
+
+throughout. You see people that you’ve liked in
+the past looking beautiful, with tiny bodies, you
+
+see people who you’ve hated in the past getting
+stepped on by a poop monster. It’s childish in all
+
+the delightful ways that you’d expect from
+Jester’s capability.
+
+SAM: Is it all drawings? Are there any notes, or
+letters, or clues to her past?
+
+MATT: There are notes. (pause) I will say, Laura
+is not here to specify necessarily, that there are
+
+passages in Common to The Traveler. What languages
+do you know?
+
+SAM: Common, Goblin, Halfling.
+
+MATT: And there are a number of passages in a
+language you don’t understand. Meatier passages.
+
+Longer ones.
+
+TALIESIN: If only there were a tiefling here, who
+possibly spoke and read the same language.
+
+LIAM: Or a wizard who can read anything.
+
+LIAM and TALIESIN: Keep it to yourself.
+
+SAM: Keep it to myself. [yelling] Keep steering
+Caleb, I’m looking at nudie pictures!
+
+MATT: So you carry on at a pretty good pace, and
+you’re traveling rather swiftly. Though traveling
+
+at this speed, it’s harder to perceive things at a
+distance. Thankfully, this renewed vigor from the
+
+tea that you had for the evening may help you in
+that endeavor as well. So, who is keeping watch on
+
+the roads ahead of you?
+
+LIAM: I am.
+
+MATT: All right. Go ahead and make a perception
+check with advantage, and minus five to whatever you–
+
+LIAM: So advantage minus five on both?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+LIAM: Okay that’s not good; that’s a one. Okay,
+that means I got a seven.
+
+MATT: Okay then.
+
+MARISHA: Seven?
+
+LIAM: At advantage minus five on both the rolls I
+rolled a nine, and a one. So hey.
+
+MATT: For the next eight hours or so, you guys
+continue on the trek on the outskirts of the
+
+Crispvale Thicket. Eventually coming to meet up
+with the Glory Run Road that heads northward to
+
+the direction of Nogvurot. You can see there’s a
+road sign that specifically points up to Nogvurot,
+
+southward to the crossroads. Following the map and
+the path you’ve charted out, in your experience as
+
+well, you travel for quite a ways along Glory Run
+and then just head straight north towards the
+
+Quannah Breach, so you’ll be going off into just
+grassland and scrubland at a certain point.
+
+TALIESIN: Off-roading.
+
+MATT: Essentially. About then eight hours hit, you
+have another hour or so before the sun begins to
+
+go down. You can continue to push for another hour
+if you’d like to, and all take constitution saving
+
+throws, it’s up to you.
+
+LIAM: If we do the one more hour it’s constitution
+checks?
+
+MATT: You can do the one more hour, or you can
+stop and set an early camp and get another
+
+evening’s rest. But, you do not spot anything along
+the way. It’s a beautiful open field.
+
+LIAM: I’m sharp. I should always do this.
+
+SAM: Are we getting close to where you think their
+headquarters are?
+
+ASHLY: How far do we have to Shadycreek?
+
+MATT: You probably have maybe two days’ more travel
+before you get there.
+
+ASHLY: I’m down to push the other hour, but my
+constitution is (clicks tongue).
+
+MARISHA: I’m down as well, but–
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s do it.
+
+LIAM: Same.
+
+MARISHA: And in that hour we can look for a place
+to rest? It’s like pushing for the next rest stop.
+
+LIAM: Yes, one more. We push it one more hour.
+
+TALIESIN: Do we want to go at a steady pace for
+this last hour, or do we want to push for a fast pace?
+
+LIAM: Fast equals a constitution check, right?
+
+MATT: No, you travel for another hour of
+additional movement, which will get you probably
+
+another six miles ahead, then we’ll see if you get
+a point of exhaustion.
+
+SAM: Let’s do it.
+
+MATT: You push for the ninth hour. I need you all
+to make constitution saving throws, please.
+
+MARISHA: Can we look for a good camping spot?
+
+ASHLY: Natural 20.
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit!
+
+LIAM: Natural 20? I don’t want to hear it!
+
+TALIESIN: Natural 19. 21.
+
+SAM: 13 total.
+
+MARISHA: 18.
+
+LIAM: Eight.
+
+ASHLY: Oh no!
+
+MATT: Caleb, you take a point of exhaustion. The
+rest of you do not.
+
+LIAM: Sweet, this is my first. What happens to me?
+Do I die on the spot?
+
+MARISHA: Disadvantage on your checks.
+
+MATT: On ability checks, that’s all.
+
+TALIESIN: And you’re hangry.
+
+LIAM: That’s my secret, Taliesin. I’m always
+hangry.
+
+MATT: As the sky grows dark, the still gray clouds
+that have taken the sky overhead, the temperature
+
+is dropping significantly. It looks like it’s
+going to be a particularly cold night. Do you wish
+
+to continue pushing on?
+
+MARISHA: Along the way, do we see anything that
+looks like a good alcove or somewhere that would
+
+be nice?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Which we have advantage on, right?
+
+LIAM: Eight hours, and you said the eight hours
+was–?
+
+MATT: You’ve push now past hour nine, so you
+cannot have advantage.
+
+MARISHA: A six and– oh, no advantage? I’ll take
+that six with my add perception of three, so nine.
+
+MATT: Nine.
+
+MARISHA: Nein.
+
+MATT: Best you can find looking around, there are
+a few small boulders or pieces of natural rock
+
+formations that have pushed up out of the local
+hills, as you are moving through this more hilly
+
+area of the northern valley, but there’s no
+alcoves or caves that you’re catching a vision of
+
+that would give you safe and out of the public
+eye.
+
+TALIESIN: Does it look like if we push a little
+bit further, there’s any change in terrain?
+
+MATT: There’s only one way to find out.
+
+TALIESIN: Even in far distance?
+
+MATT: You can travel for another hour.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, there’s a way to do that.
+
+TALIESIN: Want to do one more hour and call it?
+
+ASHLY: Or Owl Boy.
+
+MARISHA: He’s hangry.
+
+LIAM: We could push it, too. I’m good.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s send the owl.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Five minute little fly-ahead?
+
+MATT: Okay. Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: I hold on to my horse and stop hearing
+everybody. Disadvantage?
+
+MATT: It’s the owl, technically, not him.
+
+LIAM: It’s terrible. It’s perception, was that
+what I was doing? Five.
+
+MATT: At this distance, it looks like it’s
+straight, moving, rolling hills and bursts of stone.
+
+LIAM: It’s getting dark out here, and I’m tired.
+
+TALIESIN: If we can find a stone for cover,
+maybe.
+
+ASHLY: I’ll take watch.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll set up a proper camp.
+
+SAM: I’ll take watch with Keg.
+
+ASHLY: Great.
+
+LIAM: Before I go to sleep, I do the silver
+thread.
+
+MATT: First watch is you two. Do you wish to
+combine your perception checks for this watch, or
+
+take them individually?
+
+ASHLY: No.
+
+MATT: Roll individually.
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+ASHLY: Ten.
+
+MATT: First watch manages to go by. You both keep
+a very sharp eye out in the distance. Nothing
+
+seems to catch your attention, though the night is
+getting quite cold. Towards the end of your watch,
+
+snowfall begins to slowly descend upon the
+northern valley.
+
+SAM: Chilly. Sure glad I have all this booze to
+drink to keep me warm. Wouldn’t you like some?
+
+ASHLY: I have 200 pounds of pure muscle. I never
+get cold.
+
+SAM: Well, it tastes good, though. So there’s
+that, too.
+
+ASHLY: Why you trying to cozy up to me?
+
+SAM: I’m not trying to cozy up to you! I think we
+got off on the wrong small feet.
+
+ASHLY: You mean when you bared your teeth at me
+four times?
+
+SAM: I have to bare my teeth at everyone! Look at
+these things, they’re huge!
+
+ASHLY: You have no choice?
+
+SAM: No, I have very thin lips, very long teeth,
+some would call them fangs. It’s not my fault.
+
+When I smile, it looks like I’m trying to bite
+your throat off.
+
+ASHLY: Show me?
+
+SAM: (snarls)
+
+ASHLY: Ooh.
+
+SAM: And I like tongue. I was eating some tongue
+when you saw me.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, I forgot about that. I thought you were
+coming on to me.
+
+SAM: No! Oh god, no.
+
+ASHLY: Well, you don’t have to be that
+disgusted.
+
+SAM: You’re a handsome woman, but– you’re a
+woman, right?
+
+ASHLY: Yes.
+
+SAM: Okay, good. Just making sure.
+
+ASHLY: Just because I have a five o'clock shadow,
+doesn’t mean I’m not a woman.
+
+SAM: I don’t know! I don’t want to presume
+anything.
+
+ASHLY: All right, I’ll have some booze.
+
+SAM: All right, here you go. You know, it never
+runs out.
+
+ASHLY: It doesn’t?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+ASHLY: Huh.
+
+SAM: Special trick. So, uh, who got took? Who are
+you missing?
+
+ASHLY: Oh, that’s where this conversation stops,
+friend.
+
+SAM: No! What? I thought we were getting to know
+each other.
+
+ASHLY: That’s a big gun to pull out right after
+you gave me a little bit of libation.
+
+SAM: All right, did you go to school?
+
+ASHLY: Fucking guess, detective. Do you think I
+went to school?
+
+SAM: Hmm, I would say no.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah. Accurate.
+
+SAM: Did you have a happy home life growing up?
+
+ASHLY: I grew up in Shadycreek Run. Everyone’s
+favorite pastime there is stabbing people. No. I
+
+didn’t have a nice… growing up.
+
+SAM: Hmm. I’m trying to think of a topic that’s
+less charged. Do you have a favorite sports team
+
+you like?
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLY: We could talk about Iron Chef.
+
+SAM: Iron Chef? I love Iron Chef. Never mind.
+
+ASHLY: Sorry.
+
+SAM: I just thought, well–
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, I know. You’re trying to be nice.
+
+SAM: No, I just thought if we knew more about your
+situation, it would maybe lead to clues that would
+
+help us track down, or know the weaknesses of
+these Shepherds who stole or killed your friends.
+
+If we knew the circumstances around their untimely
+demise.
+
+ASHLY: I know the Shepherds well.
+
+SAM: Were you one of them?
+
+ASHLY: No. I wasn’t. I just know them well.
+
+SAM: Did you go to high school– no, you didn’t go
+to school– Hmm, everyone else is snoring.
+
+ASHLY: They’re well known. Everyone there knows
+them. There’s no way to not know them.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+ASHLY: So you’re not trying to chat me up so much
+as you’re trying to siphon information.
+
+SAM: I’m doing what any good detective does, which
+is just lay the groundwork for the case–
+
+ASHLY: Under who?! Who considers you the greatest
+detective?
+
+SAM: Jester. Jester’s one of the folks that got
+stolen. Together we were a dynamic duo of mystery
+
+solving. We could solve any mystery. Find any
+criminal mastermind, no matter how nefarious. We
+
+had all the tools, all the insights, all the
+instincts! It was amazing. We were a well oiled
+
+machine and then… she was taken. And now it’s
+just me.
+
+ASHLY: I’m guessing she had most of the brains of
+this duo.
+
+SAM: I resent that.
+
+ASHLY: I’m sorry. I’m sorry your friend got taken.
+I’m going to try to help get her back.
+
+SAM: All right. Well, I’ll try to help you get
+revenge on your vague past.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLY: You don’t have to say it like that, I’m
+just not much of a sharer!
+
+SAM: Sure, sure. How about you tell me one fact
+about you and I’ll tell you one about me?
+
+SAM: Something you haven’t told anyone. It’ll be
+like a game! And we’ll each take a shot.
+
+ASHLY: Shot first.
+
+SAM: Here you go. (pouring noise)
+
+ASHLY: Uh… My friend was a slave. Was enslaved
+by them… By the Shepherds. So?
+
+SAM: I’m a pretty good dancer!
+
+ASHLY: I thought we were doing like some deep dive
+shit!
+
+SAM: I didn’t know!
+
+ASHLY: You were asking me some deep dive
+questions! You’re going to fucking give me the
+
+dancer shit?
+
+SAM: I didn’t know! I thought we were going to
+start small and then build!
+
+ASHLY: No, because you set the precedent of asking
+a serious question and then you gave me the shot–
+
+SAM: You gave me the heaviest shit first though!
+
+ASHLY: That’s what you wanted, I thought!
+
+SAM: Of course!
+
+TALIESIN: (yelling) We’re trying to sleep for
+gods’ sakes!
+
+LIAM: (hoot owl call)
+
+SAM: Well, this has been fun.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’m up too. Molly, you want to take
+next watch?
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s take the next one.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, I’m going to fucking bed.
+
+MATT: All right. So, Molly and Beau taking the
+second watch, would you mind deciding who’s making
+
+perception checks, please?
+
+Taliesin: Want to both go for it?
+
+Marisha: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All right, both roll.
+
+MARISHA: 13.
+
+TALIESIN: Nine.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you guys go to bed, the both of you
+keep an eye out for the rest of the evening. For
+
+the rest of your watch, at least; and seemingly
+uneventful.
+
+TALIESIN: Want to gamble?
+
+MARISHA: I’m not much of a gambler, you’re
+thinking of Jester.
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’m not.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+TALIESIN: This is a game we used to play.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+TALIESIN: Take my cards, set the deck down. Put a
+question on the deck, whoever draws the highest
+
+card has to answer it.
+
+MARISHA: Wait are these like playing cards or
+tarot cards?
+
+TALIESIN: Tarot cards but they have numbers.
+
+MARISHA: You know I fucking hate those things.
+
+TALIESIN: I know.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t want anything to do with them.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll throw one out there for you. What’s
+the best lie you’ve ever told?
+
+MARISHA: The best lie I’ve ever told?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll give you mine if you give me yours.
+Whoever gets the highest has to tell.
+
+MARISHA: Hmm…
+
+TALIESIN: Or whoever gets the lowest has to tell.
+
+MARISHA: All right, deal.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s roll d20’s, see whose number is
+lower.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Let me flip to my backstory.
+
+(laughing)
+
+MARISHA: Just in case here.
+
+TALIESIN: You can be a little vague with it. You
+don’t have to be… I rolled very high.
+
+MARISHA: Natural twenty.
+
+TALIESIN: Seventeen, shit.
+
+ALL: Ooh.
+
+LIAM: You played yourself.
+
+TALIESIN: I did.
+
+MARISHA: This one has a pretty big number on it.
+
+TALIESIN: Shite. Best lie I’ve ever told… I
+pretended to be royalty for three weeks. For a scam.
+
+MARISHA: That’s fascinating, what kind of scam?
+
+TALIESIN: I was– Just a little while after I had
+gotten my consciousness sort of sorted out, and we
+
+got into a town and figured out that we could
+actually get some nice digs and they were seeing
+
+if I could maybe bullshit my way through it, and
+it was kind of my test. So I pretended to be a
+
+reincarnated royalty from across the sea.
+
+MARISHA: Wow.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. (laughing)
+
+MARISHA: That’s pretty fascinating.
+
+TALIESIN: That was a lot of fun.
+
+MARISHA: Do you not like knowing your past, that
+way you can have multiple backstories? Be multiple
+
+people at once?
+
+TALIESIN: I like knowing that because it’s not
+there that it doesn’t matter? And it helps knowing
+
+I don’t think it matters for anybody. I don’t care
+where anybody’s from, it’s nice. I certainly don’t
+
+care where I’m from.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll tell you one of my best lies, the
+one I was most proud of.
+
+TALIESIN: I pour– I pass the drink.
+
+MARISHA: Just because it was a pretty good one.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s usually how this rolls.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. There was a politician in the town
+where I grew up that I didn’t like very much.
+
+TALIESIN: Politician?
+
+MARISHA: Didn’t like his wife, either. Wanted to
+find some dirt on them. Pretended to be a house
+
+hand for them, a little handyman. Found some dirt,
+found out they were cheating on each other and
+
+destroyed their relationships and their lives.
+Maybe I shouldn’t be proud of that actually.
+
+TALIESIN: No, no I’m very impressed, actually,
+that’s– you are a good friend to have and a
+
+terrible enemy to make.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah… anyway.
+
+TALIESIN: To not quite being the worst people.
+Cheers.
+
+MARISHA: Cheers.
+
+TALIESIN: Night.
+
+MARISHA: Just maybe don’t have a job that relies
+on relationships, either.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s very fair.
+
+MARISHA: Public opinion–
+
+TALIESIN: They really had it coming.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: The rest of your watch goes uneventful,
+leaving to Caleb the final watch.
+
+LIAM: I’ll take this myself.
+
+MATT: All right. Make a perception check. Actually
+you and Frumpkin can both make separate ones, I’ll
+
+let you do that.
+
+LIAM: Good. Frumpkin got– I’m going to use my cat
+stats, because I don’t have owl stats handy.
+
+MATT: I can pull those up pretty quick.
+
+LIAM: Oh okay, good.
+
+SAM AND TALIESIN: Cat stats. (musical riff) Cat
+stats!
+
+MATT: All right, so that would be a plus one.
+
+LIAM: Eleven.
+
+MATT: That rely on hearing or sight, so you have
+advantage on it though, because the owl does have
+
+keen hearing and sight.
+
+LIAM: Thirteen.
+
+MATT: Thirteen, okay. Looks like this watch is
+uneventful as well. You guys had a clean night.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so, sitting in the silence, are any of
+these people awake, that I can tell?
+
+MATT: They all seem pretty asleep.
+
+LIAM: Look at the lot of you. Look at these
+people.
+
+I should go right now. I don’t know you at
+all. Look at this one. He’s like a walking
+
+rainbow, what is this? Why are you with him? It
+makes no sense. He’s a circus performer, he’s not
+
+going to help you. This one you told everything
+to, to try to get into a library. You learned
+
+nothing. On your gamble, you failed. You’re
+stupid. Smart as you are, you’re stupid with this.
+
+She could cave in everything. This three that have
+been stolen: yeah, they’re nice. Two of them.
+
+One’s weird. One of them tried to kill you. The
+other one, she’s adorable, but– Stupid. This one
+
+here. What do you expect to do with her? How is
+she going to help you do what you want to do? She
+
+can watch your back–
+
+MATT: (hooting)
+
+LIAM: I know. Don’t worry, you’re fine. She’s as
+much a liability as anything else. You know you’re
+
+fucking mad when you’re gesticulating this much.
+You should just go. You have told too much. I am
+
+going to go. It’s time to go. He sits there for a
+solid five minutes. Then two hours. Wait for
+
+everyone to wake up.
+
+MATT: Your watch comes to a close just as the
+morning light begins to crest into the sky.
+
+There’s a mild break in the clouds on the eastern
+horizon over the Ashkeeper and the Dunrock
+
+Mountains. You’re still getting a mostly cloudy
+sky, but there are occasional bits of morning
+
+light, faint light blues and yellows, and soft
+white. The snowfall that has come throughout the
+
+evening and packed up the very chilly cold night
+is beginning to faintly thaw, but it is still a
+
+very cold morning. As you all begin to come to
+consciousness and gather your things, the clouds
+
+close once more, and you look off towards the
+northeast side of the valley and you can see
+
+another darkened cloud coming with more snow and a
+less forgiving turn of weather. Although it’s a
+
+ways off, you can see it this far away. You pick
+up your things, horses at the ready. Do you
+
+continue your journey? Anything you want to do
+before you head off?
+
+MARISHA: I do my morning push-up and pull-up
+routine.
+
+TALIESIN: Squats.
+
+MARISHA: And then I’m ready to go.
+
+MATT: Okay. You have to set two horses side by
+side and use your staff there to give you pull
+
+ups. There’s not any trees here, but you manage to
+pull it together.
+
+MARISHA: Dope as fuck, yes I do.
+
+LIAM: She can do it on the road.
+
+MARISHA: Holy shit you guys I just figured out how
+we can save 30 minutes.
+
+MATT: On the road while you’re– You’re just Chuck
+Norris-ing it between the two horses. (galloping noises)
+
+ASHLY: It goes without saying that Keg is
+aroused.
+
+LIAM: You should do that Arnold monologue from
+that documentary, (Schwarzenegger voice) “You know
+
+"when I am with my– I am coming. And then when I’m
+working out I am coming always.”
+
+MARISHA: (Schwarzenegger voice) I feel like I’m
+always coming.
+
+MATT: (Schwarzenegger voice) Always pulling up.
+Always.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a deep callback, wow.
+
+MATT: Pushing on at what pace? I imagine
+continuing at your hurried pace?
+
+TALIESIN: Ja.
+
+MATT: Pushing on for the remainder of this day,
+who is keeping watch?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take a round.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll perception for me,
+please.
+
+TALIESIN: Minus five?
+
+MATT: Yes, minus five because you’re traveling at
+fast pace.
+
+TALIESIN: Natural 20. 23, minus five is–
+
+MATT: Still an 18. That’s good. About three or so
+hours into your journey, Molly, you look up ahead
+
+and you can see a cluster of horses and a couple
+of carts heading your direction, heading
+
+southward.
+
+You’re not quite there yet, but you’re
+getting close to where the direction you should
+
+continue on breaks off of Glory Run, but you’re
+still on the road. You do see a small caravan
+
+making their way southward in your direction.
+
+TALIESIN: Once they get a little closer, let’s
+slow down and walk to the side of the road and
+
+take a look at this.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys move off to the side.
+
+ASHLY: Can I tell from looking at the cart if
+there’s anything off about it?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: It’s got five wheels.
+
+ASHLY: 17.
+
+MATT: Glancing off, as you approach, you begin to
+make out details. You do not recognize this
+
+troupe, and the cart seems like there are tarps
+and cloths laid over large bundles. They are
+
+obscured from view specifically so the contents
+cannot be seen, which is not what you’re looking for.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+MATT: They don’t want anyone to see what’s under
+the tarp, which is not the usual operation that
+
+you’ve seen. The folks that travel southward,
+they’re dressed like normal traveling merchants:
+
+not of a wealthy regard, but those who probably
+bring common supplies, things from the northern
+
+side, bringing them southward. It looks like they
+have supplied up for a trade run and they’re
+
+heading southward. As they ride past you guys to
+the right side, they give a nod.
+
+SAM: Caleb, should I go check them out?
+
+MATT: The next rider gives a nod.
+
+ASHLY: They’re not who we’re looking for.
+
+SAM: Oh, okay.
+
+ASHLY: You can if you want to.
+
+SAM: Are they suspicious?
+
+ASHLY: Not from what I can see.
+
+TALIESIN: What kind of traders do they look like?
+What are they trading in?
+
+MATT: With the perception roll you made, it’s hard
+to see because they’ve covered it specifically.
+
+You can see underneath edges and pieces that are
+pushing out, and the shape in places. It looks
+
+like they’re bringing farming supplies. It looks
+like they’re bringing possibly grains and foods.
+
+It looks like things that would be easy pickings.
+They’re not the kind of people that can defend it, so
+
+it’s maintain mystery and keep pushing.
+
+SAM: All right. We can go.
+
+MATT: Okay. You continue on. On this next leg of
+your journey, we’re riding on your perception roll
+
+off the road, your natural 20. I’ll let that stand
+for a bit. The pace that you’ve been keeping on
+
+this without being kept by your cart has gained
+you quite a bit of ground and about another two
+
+hours or so into this afternoon, your eyes catch
+another cluster of carts facing the same direction
+
+you are.
+
+ASHLY: Can I make a perception check on this one?
+
+MATT: You may.
+
+ASHLY: 15.
+
+MATT: It takes you a moment of getting close and
+you’re about, I’d say, a quarter mile back from
+
+this troupe. You can see the familiar two larger
+carts, one smaller. It stinks of familiarity to you.
+
+ASHLY: This might be them.
+
+MARISHA and SAM: What?
+
+MARISHA: Did we catch up to them?
+
+ASHLY: We may have.
+
+SAM: Caleb, look at this picture of you in
+Jester’s book. It’s really funny.
+
+ASHLY: It’s not the time, Nott!
+
+SAM: Oh, no?
+
+MARISHA: We shouldn’t clue them off that we’re
+here.
+
+TALIESIN: No, let’s slow our pace.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Maybe a couple of us could flank
+around? What’s the terrain?
+
+SAM: They’re moving, right?
+
+MATT: They’re moving, yeah.
+
+ASHLY: Can your owl see if there’s a big human
+man, fighter-looking guy?
+
+LIAM: Bigger than average-sized man, you mean?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah. He’s pretty surly, intimidating
+looking. He might have a half-elf with him.
+
+LIAM: Well, we’re about to get into it, yeah?
+
+TALIESIN: I think we should wait until they start
+to set up camp. They’ve got to stop at some point.
+
+SAM: We don’t even know who they are yet, though.
+
+MARISHA: What time is it?
+
+MATT: It’s mid-afternoon at this time. You’ve been
+traveling since shortly after daybreak, so it’s three
+
+o'clock in the afternoon. You have another hour or
+so before you hit your eight hour mark and your
+
+horses start tiring and you start tiring.
+
+MARISHA: We’re nowhere near Shadycreek?
+
+MATT: You’re a couple days’ travel or so from it
+at this pace.
+
+TALIESIN: They’re going to have to camp.
+
+LIAM: I’ll tell you what I do is, I dab my thumb
+into my belt for a bit of sweet oil and I rub it
+
+on my bottom lip and mutter an arcane word or two
+and say: I suggest you tell us any details you’ve
+
+been holding back about these people so that we
+are fully prepared. That is a Suggestion spell.
+
+MATT: Yes, it is. I’m going to have to ask you,
+Keg, to make a wisdom saving throw, please.
+
+ASHLY: Nine.
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+MATT: That is not a success. You feel, strangely,
+though it is out of character for your intent,
+
+magically compelled to offer up a fair amount of
+information that would seem useful in the coming
+
+scenario about these individuals.
+
+SAM: We love our guests. We love them.
+
+ASHLY: There should be five of them. The leader’s
+name’s Lorenzo. He’s a human. This is weird. Ruzza
+
+the half-elf sorcerer. Protto, shitty little
+halfling rogue. Dwelma is a half-orc druid woman.
+
+How much more do I have to tell?
+
+MATT: As much as would seem useful for this.
+
+LIAM: It was details that would help us in the
+situation.
+
+ASHLY: I have to say everything?
+
+LIAM: You’re compelled to say anything that’s
+useful in what we’re about to do with these
+
+people.
+
+MATT: Yes. Interpret that as you feel necessary.
+
+LIAM: Any other details that you’ve been holding
+back that would help us in this situation.
+
+MARISHA: Lorenzo is a fighter type?
+
+ASHLY: Yes.
+
+MATT: You do know that he walks with this
+nasty-looking glaive. It’s a polearm with a large
+
+hooked blade at the end of it that he uses as both
+a symbol of station and a very dangerous weapon,
+
+if need be. Gives him reach, gives him range.
+
+ASHLY: I tell you about that, and Juam. She’s a
+human barbarian. She’s not as bad as the rest of
+
+them. That’s all I know.
+
+LIAM: No magic?
+
+ASHLY: There’s a sorcerer.
+
+TALIESIN: And a druid.
+
+MATT: You’re pretty sure there’s a sorcerer,
+you’re pretty sure there’s a druid. You don’t know
+
+a lot about magic stuff, but you know one of them
+seems to be more nature-based and the other seems
+
+to throw spells, but is cock-sure and
+charismatic.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you know anything about the cages
+they keep their prisoners in? Are they magically
+
+enchanted or are they just cages?
+
+ASHLY: They’ll look like normal trade from the
+outside. They’ll look like they’ll be shuttling
+
+around food, innocuous items, but there’s a
+magical obfuscation over them.
+
+LIAM: The ones with the arcane ability look like?
+
+ASHLY: The half-elf and the half-orc are the ones
+that are magical.
+
+LIAM: What color is the half-elf’s hair?
+
+ASHLY: I don’t remember.
+
+MATT: The half-elf is a very short, pointed pixie
+cut that is ashy blonde.
+
+MARISHA: What was the name of the rogue again?
+
+ASHLY: The rogue is Protto.
+
+MARISHA: Protto.
+
+ASHLY: And I lied, Nott. I used to work with
+them.
+
+LIAM: That is a pretty big matzo ball.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah. I’m not proud.
+
+TALIESIN: I sort of figured. I figured everyone
+else figured at this point, really?
+
+SAM: I definitely deduced that from our
+conversation. It’s not surprising to me in the least.
+
+LIAM: I take people at their word.
+
+TALIESIN: I do, too. But, you know, people say
+things.
+
+SAM: I lied too. I’m an average dancer.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLY: So we’re even Steven.
+
+TALIESIN: How bad are the terms that you’re on
+with these people?
+
+ASHLY: Pretty bad!
+
+SAM: Want some more booze?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah. Shot, shot, shot. Yeah, not great.
+
+MATT: The spell comes to a close now because you
+have fulfilled the suggestion.
+
+ASHLY: Ah, you guys are assholes.
+
+SAM: We told you that.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+SAM: We said that multiple times.
+
+ASHLY: Can we see if it’s them?
+
+SAM: Yeah, how? Can you go owl it out?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, lay low.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re starting to get a plan.
+
+LIAM: I plant my hand on Nott’s head and go into
+Frumpkin’s eyesight and send him up there.
+
+MATT: Okay. Frumpkin takes off and begins to coast
+at a fair enough distance to keep an eye down. Make a
+
+perception check for Frumpkin with advantage.
+
+LIAM: Advantage, you say?
+
+MATT: Yeah, he’s an owl still. Owl has keen sight
+and hearing.
+
+LIAM: Yeah! Owl rolls, yeah! 20.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin, getting a nice view from this
+distance, makes out that there are three carts.
+
+There is a figure at each cart. The two larger
+ones have two horses at each front, the third one
+
+has one horse. There is a rider on each of the
+horses, or at least there is a rider on the
+
+smaller horse and there are two that are sitting
+at the front of the carts that are currently
+
+holding onto the reins of the other two. You do
+see, sitting next to the individual at the reins
+
+at the front, a very thick, muscular man, bald
+with tattoos across the back of his head–
+
+MARISHA: This is our fucking guy!
+
+MATT: With the glaive resting at the side, staring
+ahead. Everyone else seems to have hoods up and
+
+are trying to keep their image obfuscated.
+
+LIAM: All but Lorenzo?
+
+MATT: Lorenzo, he has a cloak on and stuff, but
+right now he has the hood back. You really don’t
+
+see anybody catching their attention. He seems to
+be enjoying the air across his hairless head.
+
+LIAM: It’s good. It’s true, shaved head. The wind,
+it’s good.
+
+MATT: You see seven figures.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, in the cages?
+
+TALIESIN: There’s no cages, they’re magically–
+
+ASHLY: I assume you communicated all of this to
+us?
+
+SAM: Yeah, he usually narrates as he sees.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: With his very dulcet tones.
+
+LIAM: Sure, this time he does.
+
+SAM: Sometimes you do.
+
+LIAM: Sometimes I do, lately.
+
+ASHLY: We can’t attack them like this.
+
+SAM: Why not? There’s five of us and–
+
+ASHLY: There’s seven of them!
+
+SAM: We have an owl.
+
+TALIESIN: I have a plan. It’s a bit of a crazy
+plan. They’re carrying the means of their own
+
+undoing. If we can free whoever is in those cages,
+we get a lot of allies.
+
+ASHLY: We don’t know if it’s your friends.
+
+TALIESIN: Anybody in there I’m sure is going to
+have feelings towards these people.
+
+ASHLY: Look.
+
+MARISHA: So we wait until they camp?
+
+TALIESIN: I like waiting until they camp and
+coming in at night.
+
+MARISHA: What were you going to say, Keg?
+
+ASHLY: When they take people, they break them. So
+if you’re counting on whoever’s in those cages to
+
+help, they’re not going to be able to. It’s going
+to be five versus seven, even if we attack at night.
+
+MARISHA: Like mentally break them?
+
+ASHLY: Both.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck.
+
+MATT: As far as you know, most of that process
+happens once they take them back because usually
+
+it’s a grab and run type scenario. But they do
+usually have them manacled, hogtied manacle style
+
+and gagged.
+
+TALIESIN: If we can just get into that cage and
+untie them without them noticing.
+
+SAM: At night, maybe after they’ve camped.
+
+LIAM: This is our best chance because we don’t
+want them to get to their destination because then
+
+they are surrounded by many friends.
+
+SAM: Or a fortress or something.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Now is the time.
+
+SAM: Should we just continue to follow them for
+now or attack right now in the broad daylight?
+
+ASHLY: How far are they from Shadycreek? You said
+two days?
+
+MATT: About two days, yeah.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+MATT: Two days at your pace, probably three days
+at theirs.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Wait until the sun sets right before
+they go to sleep.
+
+SAM: Oh! We know where they’re going. We know
+where they are. Why don’t we ride ahead of them–
+
+MARISHA: And set up an ambush?
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+MARISHA: That’s a damn good idea.
+
+ASHLY: I like that.
+
+TALIESIN: I could be into that.
+
+LIAM: That is wicked.
+
+MARISHA: I wonder if we could do a little bit of
+both. Free the people in the cage and then ambush
+
+later? Nah, that seems distracting.
+
+TALIESIN: Ambush. Free people. All one big thing.
+I’m sure they’re not used to being attacked by
+
+people who actually know what they have.
+
+ASHLY: You actually had a good idea for once.
+
+SAM: Thank you. I’d better get drunk, then.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s full-speed blow past them, just
+nod and keep moving.
+
+SAM: On the same road? We’re not even going to go
+around?
+
+LIAM: No, wait until they sleep. We’re going to
+follow at a distance and then when they bed down
+
+for the night, we leave and then skirt around.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+LIAM: I like this.
+
+TALIESIN: This is a good plan
+
+LIAM: Well done Nott, well done.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: So keeping your distance behind them, pulling
+your pace back to just the normal, even slow pace,
+
+it’s up to you. Probably normal to keep in pace
+with them.
+
+MARISHA: At a medium pace.
+
+MATT: It was going to happen eventually.
+
+SAM: You’re gross, Marisha.
+
+MARISHA: I’m the worst.
+
+MATT: About a few more hours, sundown hits, we’ll
+say for the purposes of the narrative here. They
+
+pull off to the side of the road and begin to set
+up camp. Keeping an eye on this in the distance,
+
+you watch them. Keeping far enough away, making
+sure you’re not in eyeshot of them, as part of
+
+that, I will say two of you helm a stealth check to
+see whether or not they see you on the road behind them.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, it’ll be the two of you.
+
+MARISHA: Helming a stealth check?
+
+SAM: Why don’t you look at that dodec?
+
+MARISHA: Well, I already have it, I just haven’t
+used it yet.
+
+MATT: Well, it lasts for a day.
+
+MARISHA: Do I still have it? I don’t have it. Oh,
+but I can look at it again!
+
+LIAM: Of course you can. This is why I say you
+shouldn’t just hand it over. Just save it for the
+
+moment.
+
+MARISHA: I thought I might have needed it on the
+thing, but I rolled a natural 20 on my sack check.
+
+MATT: All right, you take your fragment of
+possibility. So… go ahead and roll.
+
+MARISHA: Do I have to call that I’m going to use
+advantage on it before or I can roll and then choose?
+
+MATT: It’s afterward. You can roll it and then
+choose to. It’s like a luck point.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t fuck me, Gil. Yeah, it’s 20 total.
+
+SAM: Wow, mine’s 19.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+MARISHA: (whispers) Should I do it again?
+
+MATT: You guys stay back and watch as they pull
+off and make camp. With that, as the cover of
+
+ever-encroaching night becomes your ally, you
+begin to arc around on the opposite end of the
+
+road going behind one of the larger hill grades,
+which manages to hide your horses as you speed up
+
+and take off ahead. To do this, it’s going to cost
+you an hour of pushing past, so everyone make your
+
+constitution saving throws please.
+
+SAM: 12?
+
+ASHLY: 15?
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that was almost a natural 20, but
+instead it’s five.
+
+TALIESIN: You still have your mote, you can use it
+now.
+
+MARISHA: Are we going to rest on the other side?
+It lasts a day. Are we going to sleep on the other side?
+
+SAM: Maybe.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah? I’m going to save it. Five.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, 18.
+
+SAM: This one’s aroused, who knows what’s going to
+happen.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Six.
+
+MATT: All right, so Beau and Caleb, you both take a
+point of exhaustion. So you’re going to have
+
+disadvantage on ability checks.
+
+LIAM: Better constitution than Vax, though.
+
+SAM: Oh, interesting.
+
+MATT: All righty. So, pushing forward on this, you
+come to a point– how far ahead of the road of
+
+them do you want to set up your ambush?
+
+SAM: Well, we would want them to get going in the
+morning, right? But not immediately get ambushed,
+
+like settle into a little bit of a pace for an
+hour or two.
+
+MARISHA: It’s got to be just long enough to where
+they’re zoning out.
+
+LIAM: One hour in. 90 minutes.
+
+SAM: Yeah, somewhere around there. A couple
+miles.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll stop when we see somewhere that
+seems advantageous.
+
+SAM: Yeah, that’s the key.
+
+TALIESIN: If we see something–
+
+SAM: Oh, it’s dark now, right?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, but we’ve got night vision.
+
+MATT: 60-foot. Maybe.
+
+TALIESIN: Anything that we were going to do would
+be near the road anyway.
+
+MATT: Right. So who’s taking a look for a good
+ambushing point?
+
+MARISHA: Not me, I’m tired.
+
+ASHLY: I will.
+
+SAM: Ooh!
+
+MATT: So roll for disadvantage because it is
+night. Even though you have night vision, it’s only
+
+a short distance.
+
+ASHLY: Perception?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+ASHLY: Seven?
+
+MATT: All right, you find a place–
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: I mean, it’s a road. So you guys have an
+evening to– what do you want to do for your
+
+ambush?
+
+SAM: We need to plan the ambush.
+
+MARISHA: We need to plan.
+
+SAM: We don’t have a cart to block the road with.
+
+MARISA: We don’t have a cleric who can Hold
+Person.
+
+SAM: What do we have?
+
+ASHLY: Just someone with a lot of sordid history
+with these motherfuckers. Skeletons in the
+
+closet.
+
+SAM: You could stand in the middle of the road and
+distract them.
+
+ASHLY: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: That’s actually not a bad plan, just in
+case.
+
+LIAM: I would recommend– they will probably be
+traveling pretty close together and I could slow
+
+them down. Magically speaking. If you were to bait
+them a bit and talk to them.
+
+Then if we pick a trigger point I could cast
+Slow… most of them, some of them would make it
+
+through unscathed, but–
+
+MARISHA: Would they kill you on sight if they saw
+you?
+
+SAM: What if we did like a–
+
+ASHLY: I don’t know.
+
+SAM: –like a Red Dawn thing? (laughing) We dug a
+hole, and then we got in the hole–
+
+ASHLY: You had one good idea.
+
+SAM: –and they came over us and we popped out of
+the hole and we grabbed onto the cart and we rode
+
+under it and then we like chopped a hole in the
+bottom of the cart.
+
+LIAM: What does that have to do with the dawn?
+
+SAM: It would be really cool!
+
+TALIESIN: First: do we have any dynamite?
+
+SAM: Oh! (pause) No.
+
+MARISHA: We used it on the troll and it did
+nothing.
+
+SAM: Let’s figure out what we do have, though.
+
+LIAM: We have acid.
+
+TALIESIN: We have acid.
+
+SAM: We have four vials of acid.
+
+TALIESIN: Do we have enough Dispel Magic that we
+could reveal the cart so we could see it?
+
+LIAM: Dispel Magic?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, like can you make magic go away?
+
+LIAM: How would that… what?
+
+TALIESIN: Magic. Have you never seen anybody do
+this before? Just make magic go away?
+
+LIAM: Yes I can, but what does that have to do
+with the cart?
+
+TALIESIN: They’re cloaking the cages. You could
+maybe free the people inside the cages with your
+
+magic hand thing that you do. And if their horses
+die those carts aren’t going anywhere.
+
+SAM: Oh! We could just kill all the horses.
+
+TALIESIN: And then they’re stuck.
+
+LIAM: We may have a split second to– you want to
+try to get these people out immediately, that’s
+
+what you’re saying?
+
+TALIESIN: If they’re out, they’re helping us.
+
+MARISHA: Horses aren’t a big threat, I would
+rather focus on the people.
+
+TALIESIN: But if we kill the horses, the cart
+can’t leave.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, but if we don’t kill the people then
+they can kill us.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair, too, but they could try and
+run.
+
+MARISHA: These seem like people who are confident
+in themselves–
+
+ASHLY: They don’t run.
+
+LIAM: It was two carts, you said?
+
+MATT: Three carts, two larger ones and one
+smaller.
+
+SAM: We could just ambush the last one.
+
+LIAM: I couldn’t tell from the aerial view, which
+one– they’re all hidden, right?
+
+MATT: All you saw was just goods in the back.
+
+TALIESIN: They don’t drug their prisoners?
+
+ASHLY: They tie them up and then gag them.
+
+TALIESIN: They don’t drug them?
+
+SAM: Do you have anything we could use?
+
+ASHLY: I have an axe and a hammer. And three
+javelins!
+
+TALIESIN: One last question. How secure are these
+carts, or do they just trust that nobody’s going
+
+to get out of the hog tie?
+
+ASHLY: They’re in cages.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s cage, cage, cage? It’s not wooden
+bottom, wooden top? It’s with bars? There’s no
+
+weak point?
+
+MATT: You haven’t inspected them for weak points,
+you’re not the brightest bulb in the shed
+
+necessarily when it comes to these things. They’re
+cages, they’re made mostly of metal and they seem
+
+to hold. They got locks.
+
+TALIESIN: As long as we can pick some locks, untie
+some ropes.
+
+ASHLY: I think the main– (heavy sigh)– The main
+person to worry about– so first of all, Protto is
+
+the lookout. Disabling him, maybe, if you guys are
+trying to be stealthy, would be helpful because
+
+he’s got–
+
+SAM: –we guys.
+
+ASHLY: “We guys?”
+
+SAM: You’re part of the team now too.
+
+ASHLY: We guys. Dwelma is the creepiest and the
+craziest, she’s the half-orc.
+
+SAM: Druid.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, she’s pretty gnarly. I mean, they’re
+all pretty awful, to be honest.
+
+SAM: What’s our primary goal? Just to stop them
+and prevent them from fleeing?
+
+ASHLY: If we’re doing this now, we have to kill
+them.
+
+SAM: Yes, so we have to stop the path, right? We
+have to block them from escape. How do we do that?
+
+Do we fell a tree? Can we fell a tree?
+
+LIAM: That is a good giveaway, though.
+
+TALIESIN: Honestly, once the combat starts,
+especially if you’ve got Fireballs, we can just
+
+make sure those horses are toast.
+
+MATT: Keeping an eye on the area as you’re having
+this conversation, you glance around and there’s
+
+an area not too far ahead that you can just see a
+little bit of the moonlight breaking through the
+
+clouds. The snow has not quite arrived yet. But
+you can see there are these two small hills that
+
+flank the sides of the road not far ahead where
+you can see there are some boulders that protrude.
+
+it looks like there is a tree stunk– stunk?–
+tree stump and an old rotted tree that’s sitting
+
+on another one.
+
+SAM: We could fell the tree right on them as they
+come by.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh.
+
+MATT: It’s not a very big tree. If it were to fall
+it would just hit the side of the hill and be on
+
+the side of the road.
+
+MARISHA: How rocky are those hills in between?
+Could we trigger a rock slide?
+
+MATT: No, they’re not very high, they’re maybe
+seven, ten feet tall at the highest? And it looks
+
+like there’s been some erosion on the sides where
+they’ve just slipped on certain edges.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe using Keg as a distraction up
+front–
+
+ASHLY: They probably wouldn’t kill me on sight.
+Lorenzo likes to make examples of people. So what
+
+would you guys do if I bought you time?
+
+SAM: Kill all the horses first so they can’t get
+away?
+
+MARISHA: Couple Fireballs.
+
+TALIESIN: I could teleport into one of the cages
+and start untying people.
+
+SAM: Ooh, that’s pretty good. I could also Mage
+Hand and start unlocking cages.
+
+ASHLY: Is there a way that we could split them up
+somehow?
+
+SAM: Okay. How do you propose?
+
+ASHLY: Not split them up necessarily, but have each
+of them occupied.
+
+MARISHA: Have just certain targets between some of
+us?
+
+LIAM: The best thing that I could do in that
+department is Slow, hopefully, all of them down.
+
+All of them, if they are closely grouped. If not,
+I could hold one person.
+
+SAM: If we’re trying to split them up, you could
+just slow the last carriage further down the road
+
+and they’d drift apart a bit, I don’t know.
+
+LIAM: We could, but the way I would do that would
+be with a giant, earthen cat paw, which would seem
+
+out of the ordinary.
+
+SAM: I see.
+
+TALIESIN: With you at the top of one hill, if we
+get you some cover, and you at the other hill, if we
+
+give you some cover, giving you both some distance,
+the three of us getting into the middle of it,
+
+coming at them at all sides.
+
+MARISHA: I could stun somebody depending on how
+close I get. Maybe Lorenzo, try and square off
+
+against him. Of course all the spell-slingers are
+good to take out early as well.
+
+ASHLY: I will say the half-orc has a weird liking
+for Lorenzo, so just be prepared if he goes down
+
+first that she’s probably going to go insane.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we focus on the druid and the
+sorcerer?
+
+TALIESIN: Always take out the magic users first.
+And if we can get a few friends in whoever is in
+
+those cages, for all we know that’s where they’ve
+got our people.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like if you could hold the
+barbarian, keep the barbarian away… I could maybe
+
+stun Lorenzo and focus down on the rogue and the
+druid.
+
+SAM: Do we have any other weapons or any other
+special things?
+
+TALIESIN: Is there a way to embed a spell into the
+ground?
+
+MARISHA: I have ball bearings.
+
+TALIESIN: Me too.
+
+LIAM: On a muddy road, probably not very useful.
+
+TALIESIN: If they try and climb the hills towards
+either of you, you can have some ball bearings to
+
+help slip them back down.
+
+SAM: I have a gun!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I stole a gun in the last town we were in. I
+stole a gun, I have a gun!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take the gun.
+
+SAM: No you’re not going to take the gun!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m taking the gun.
+
+SAM: No you’re not!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m taking the gun.
+
+MATT: Okay…?
+
+TALIESIN: Dex?
+
+MATT: Both of you make a dexterity check. Well,
+this would technically be a grapple, so it would be
+
+athletics for you–
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+MATT: –and then it would be athletics or
+acrobatics for you.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yeah, I’m screwed.
+
+SAM: I’ll take acrobatics. It’s only 11.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s fine, I’m seven.
+
+MATT: Completely pulled out of your grasp.
+
+TALIESIN: Does it even have anything in it?
+
+SAM: I don’t know.
+
+ASHLY: I’m just going to go out and say we’re
+probably going to die, guys.
+
+TALIESIN: We know.
+
+MARISHA: I have rope. Can we set some sort of
+tripwire trap?
+
+SAM: Sure, sure.
+
+MARISHA: Is that something you can do? You’re good
+at finding traps. Are you good at setting traps?
+
+SAM: First of all, I’m not good at finding traps,
+but I’ve found a few and the ones I’ve found have
+
+been rope based.
+
+MARISHA: With that big swinging log thing!
+
+SAM: I could do a tripwire… for the horses?
+
+TALIESIN: There’s part of me that’s wondering if
+we hid you in the downed tree if you could sneak
+
+in and start working on the cages before they even
+know there’s a problem.
+
+SAM: Okay, so we fell a tree in front of the road.
+They stop to move it. I’m in there, unlocking things.
+
+MARISHA: We send Keg to distract. You go in–
+
+SAM: They’ve already stopped, though.
+
+MARISHA: –right, but if they try to go around it
+or something. It’s just a tree.
+
+SAM: Sure, sure.
+
+TALIESIN: Between two hills.
+
+MARISHA: That’s the name of this next chapter of
+our journey, you guys.
+
+SAM: Keg goes in to distract, Caleb kills the
+horses.
+
+MARISHA: No, you go in and try and get the people
+out of the cage.
+
+SAM: Yes, of course.
+
+MARISHA: But wait, you can’t see the cages?
+They’re magically cloaked?
+
+MATT: They can’t see them, from what you know. From
+what Keg told you, they’re magically cloaked until
+
+you get there.
+
+MARISHA: Until you get there. Maybe you have to be
+close enough. You go in, try and get them out. You
+
+come out, send a signal through Caleb that you’re
+out, and then Caleb does a big Slow thing, slows
+
+them down. We go in, punk their asses. We win.
+We’re victorious.
+
+SAM: (laughing) This is a great plan. The winning
+part especially. Amazing.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: If we can pick the locks and untie
+everybody.
+
+LIAM: I am not going to destroy three horses in
+one shot.
+
+MARISHA: No, with Slow. Slow.
+
+LIAM: I thought we talked about horses as well.
+
+TALIESIN: We don’t need to slow the horses. We
+have a tree. If we want, we have a–
+
+MARISHA: No, we slow the people. Hang on, let me
+go through this again. We fell the tree. We send
+
+in Keg. Keg distracts. We send in Nott. Nott tries
+to pick the locks to the cages. Get the people
+
+out. Nott runs. Nott sends the message to Caleb.
+Caleb does the Slow spell on the party. We go in,
+
+we kick ass, we win, we’re victorious. I just said
+that 30 seconds ago. Did you guys get it this time?
+
+LIAM: They come upon a tree and somebody–
+
+SAM: Are you aroused?
+
+ASHLY: Yes.
+
+LIAM: They come upon a tree in the road and a
+woman that they despise now, and that is not
+
+suspicious because?
+
+TALIESIN: We could put her under the tree.
+
+MARISHA: No, it is suspicious, but it’s
+distracting.
+
+SAM: Ah, help, I’m under a tree! Also, you hate
+me.
+
+TALIESIN: If you find somebody bleeding under a
+tree, that’s not ridiculous. Tree fell, you
+
+happened to get hit. Good luck.
+
+MARISHA: That’s dumb. Maybe she’s standing on the
+tree and she’s like, “I’m a badass with an axe and
+
+"a hammer and I took down this tree and now I’m going
+to take down you.”
+
+TALIESIN: We could put you on top of the tree if
+you feel like you want to have some words with
+
+these people.
+
+LIAM: I am not demanding anything, but my counter
+proposal is that I walk 500 yards back along the
+
+road, put the silver thread across the road so we
+know they are coming, spend a few hours hiding
+
+ourselves at the tops of these hills, waiting.
+Nobody is in the road.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m all right with that.
+
+LIAM: We wait until they are just below us. I cast
+Slow on them, and then we murder them.
+
+MARISHA: Then we win, we’re victorious. Same
+plan.
+
+SAM and MARISHA: Same plan.
+
+TALIESIN: You guys work on people–I still think
+opening the cages is going to be a good call.
+
+We’ll see what happens.
+
+LIAM: Well, unless we hear a feasible plan for
+doing that first–
+
+MARISHA: Okay, okay. Plan A–
+
+LIAM: I say we kick them in the goolies as hard as
+we can from the beginning.
+
+MARISHA: Plan A, you do that. We try to slow them.
+If that fails, you’re our distraction.
+
+ASHLY: All right.
+
+SAM: I’m going to dig a hole just in case. This
+Red Dawn thing.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m all right for this plan.
+
+LIAM: Actually, I mean, that is a good idea. Could
+we spend an– I’m going to go set my thread across
+
+the road. Could you make hiding places for all of
+us, Nott?
+
+SAM: Sure. On the tops of the hills, and then one
+for me right in the middle of the road under the earth.
+
+ASHLY: Do I have a sense of what they would do,
+were they to reach Shadycreek Run? If they would
+
+disband at any point, if they would stick
+together, where they would take–?
+
+MATT: No, from what your experience would be, they
+would probably go to the hideout, to their little
+
+homestead deeper into the Savalierwood. They would
+drop off their payload and celebrate, probably,
+
+for an evening of revelry, and then come back the
+next day to begin the process of preparing them
+
+for delivery, which involves breaking them.
+
+ASHLY: Presumably, there are people in Shadycreek
+Run who would love to see them dead.
+
+MATT: Presumably. There are also people that
+would–
+
+ASHLY: Would help them?
+
+MATT: –would help them. They have allies.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+MATT: I mean, they’re working for one of the tribe
+families, so yeah.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+NOTT: All right.
+
+LIAM:I have seen both of you vanish, so if you put
+in a little bit of time and elbow grease, you can
+
+either find places on these two hills that are
+conducive to us hiding or create those situations
+
+with grass or something, I don’t know how to do
+it.
+
+SAM: Yes, absolutely. Let’s do it.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s do it.
+
+SAM: Crafting party.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to tell Frumpkin to go in the sky
+and watch and head up the road a ways to set that alarm.
+
+MATT: To set the alarm. Okay. I’m going to pull
+out the map of the location so you guys can plan
+
+out positioning.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, snap.
+
+SAM: But you can’t know the map because we just
+came up with this ambush plan tonight. There’s no
+
+way that you would have foreseen something like
+this happening.
+
+MATT: Well, the location of hills, if you were to
+use that one. I have multiple–
+
+LIAM: If he were human, Sam.
+
+MATT: I have multiple maps prepared depending on
+where things happen.
+
+MARISHA: He’s a witch, Sam. You know this. He sees
+the future.
+
+MATT: I have multiple maps with different
+scenarios.
+
+SAM: Can he float?
+
+TALIESIN: He did move four or five maps into this
+building today under cover of tarp.
+
+SAM: Day?
+
+MARISHA: It wasn’t that undercover. It was Max
+going, “No cast is allowed in here for ten
+
+"minutes!” It wasn’t that stealthy. You weren’t
+here for that.
+
+SAM: I wasn’t.
+
+TALIESIN: I walked in the green room at one point,
+and it was literally the, “No, Mom! Private time!”
+
+SAM: We have a green room?
+
+ASHLY: I was going to say.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s that weird room with the weird hair
+salon stuff.
+
+SAM: Oh, the makeup room.
+
+MARISHA: We should get a mapmaking sock for him.
+
+SAM: Are we going to do a studio tour at some
+point?
+
+MARISHA: We are. We wanted to film it this week,
+but we got super distracted with building the studio.
+
+ASHLY: (laughs)
+
+SAM: You know, one of the things about the makeup
+room is it has those hair salon sinks where you can get
+
+a haircut in it or get your hair washed in the sink.
+
+MARISHA: Taliesin wants to get rid of it.
+
+SAM: Can I get my hair washed in one of those?
+
+MARISHA: I want to so bad.
+
+TALIESIN: Anybody who wants me to shave their
+head, I’ll do it.
+
+SAM and ASHLY: Ooh.
+
+MATT: This is the scenario that you’ve found.
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+MATT: This is the path heading in a north
+direction. These are the two hills. This is the
+
+tree. How would you like to set this up? How do you
+want to do this?
+
+TALIESIN: (indecisive sound) It’s less of a tree than I was
+hoping for.
+
+MARISHA: Nott and I look for the best elements of cover.
+
+SAM: Can we move some of those bushes up? Up on
+top of the hill? Can we snap some twigs and make
+
+the bushes bigger?
+
+MATT: I could see you probably do something like
+that, sure. You have a little bit of time.
+
+SAM: Yeah, fluff the bushes a little bit.
+
+MATT: So where are you going to fluff the bushes
+up here? Like what are you doing? Point it out to me.
+
+SAM: Yeah, let’s do that.
+
+TALIESIN: Here’s your paintbrush. Sculpt.
+
+SAM: Oh my god. We’re Minecrafting.
+
+MATT: (laughs)
+
+SAM: About there.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so proud you know what that is.
+
+SAM: And we’re going to do that over here a little
+bit.
+
+MARISHA: That’s good. That’s good.
+
+SAM: This thing can’t move, right?
+
+ASHLY: We’re strong. I’m a beefy boy.
+
+MATT: You can try. You can certainly try.
+
+ASHLY: Should I roll something?
+
+MATT: Make a strength check. This would be
+athletics, actually. So make it athletics, because
+
+this is you, not just lifting it, but also
+bringing it along.
+
+SAM: Holy shit.
+
+ASHLY: 19.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, she’s fine.
+
+MATT: You begin to drag it, actually. You watch as
+this burly dwarf woman with a five-o-clock shadow
+
+that is now coming into actual faint stubble grabs it–
+
+SAM: It’s like Rocky IV.
+
+MATT: –begins just dragging it through this big
+groove in the ground as you pull it over. Where do
+
+you want to put it?
+
+ASHLY: Is anybody else aroused?
+
+SAM: –in the middle, or should we– I’m aroused.
+Sam Riegel is.
+
+MARISHA: You beat me to it. I’m aroused.
+
+SAM: Should we put it here, to narrow the passage?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, that’s a good idea.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+ASHLY: I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that.
+
+TALIESIN: You can also dig a hole right underneath
+it too so you can hide–
+
+ASHLY: And the shrubberies?
+
+MATT: And you have this tree here.
+
+SAM: Is this thing hollow at all?
+
+MATT: That tree is actually somewhat hollow. Not
+completely all the way through, but there is an
+
+alcove in it where some of it has rotted out.
+
+SAM: That’s where I’ll hide. Tomorrow.
+
+MATT: All right. So Nott, I’ll go ahead and mark
+you as– this will be where you’re hiding, just as
+
+a note there.
+
+SAM: Caleb, any other terraforming we want to do
+over here?
+
+TALIESIN: We want to push the tree over, don’t we
+want to give it a good shove?
+
+SAM: Are we–
+
+LIAM: As Caleb comes back from setting the Alarm
+spell, tell me what you have worked out so far. I
+
+set the Alarm spell and I took a wee over that
+way.
+
+ASHLY: (laughs)
+
+SAM: We added some bush up here and up here– to
+hide in, so then one person can hide here, one
+
+person can maybe hide here.
+
+MATT: I’m excited. We’ve been gone for two weeks.
+I’m like, let’s do this.
+
+ASHLY: (laughs)
+
+SAM: We moved this over and it’s got a little nook
+in it, so Nott can stay in there.
+
+LIAM: That’s great.
+
+SAM: But we have this tree here. Do we want to
+knock over that tree and block the path?
+
+MARISHA: You have an awesome axe, right?
+
+ASHLY: I do.
+
+TALIESIN: We also have a– no, we left the axe.
+Never mind.
+
+LIAM: I think that we don’t want to gild the lily.
+That log is good–
+
+MARISHA: I enjoy gilding lilies.
+
+LIAM: –and it makes–
+
+SAM: How tall is this tree, Matt?
+
+MATT: That tree is maybe 15 feet, 20 feet?
+
+SAM: So it only–
+
+MATT: Actually, that one would be 20 feet tall.
+
+LIAM: If you come to a road and there’s trees
+along it, your dander goes up. You’re on guard.
+
+MARISHA: You would think, there was a tornado that
+came through here.
+
+SAM: How about this? If I may. This log that we’ve
+set on this side, what if we set it on this side
+
+over here–
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+SAM: –and then we weaken the tree in case we need
+to tip it over–
+
+LIAM: Yeah. I’m in favor of that.
+
+SAM: –and block the other half.
+
+ASHLY: Should I lift again? Or am I just going
+to– okay great.
+
+MATT: That you can do.
+
+SAM: So now we can weaken this tree, maybe, with
+some chops and then–
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, you can do that angle–
+
+SAM: –it can block the other half.
+
+TALIESIN: –you can do that angle so that you can
+just hit it and know which side it will fall to–
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+ASHLY: Do I have to roll anything–
+
+LIAM: You can stick a branch in there–
+
+ASHLY: –to smack it with my axe?
+
+SAM: To controlled–
+
+ASHLY: To controlled smack it with my axe? I’m so
+powerful.
+
+MATT: You can certainly try.
+
+ASHLY: What do I roll?
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll an athletics check for
+this one.
+
+LIAM: And Nott’s trap making skills for help?
+
+MATT: Just–
+
+ASHLY: 15.
+
+MATT: 15, okay. So you’re able to carve into it,
+and use your knowledge of where to hit properly
+
+and where the strength should be applied, you
+manage to cut a few wedges into it. It begins to
+
+move slightly, and you’re like, now’s the time to
+stop.
+
+ASHLY: Nice.
+
+TALIESIN: Um, just for– no, that would be too
+much. I was about to say, I could make a bullshit
+
+trip wire, that when the tree went down, it would
+tighten a rope. It would pop it.
+
+ASHLY: Hmm.
+
+SAM: Interesting.
+
+TALIESIN: It would be rope on the ground. I don’t
+know if it would hide in that.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, it might be too obvious.
+
+TALIESIN: It might be too obvious.
+
+MARISHA: I think the best trap we have is Keg
+standing behind the tree.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s, just for fun, I’m going to have
+some of our hemp rope already tied around this
+
+rock, with just a big mess of it ready to go, so
+if we need it, we’ve already got one anchor point.
+
+SAM: Do we want to do any digging? Any mudding?
+Anything else? Is this our ambush?
+
+MARISHA: Where are you going to hide?
+
+SAM: Me?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: I’m going to be in the log, someone’s going
+to be up here in bush one, someone’s going to be
+
+in bush two.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll be in bush two.
+
+SAM: Someone will be behind the tree.
+
+ASHLY: I’ll be behind the tree.
+
+SAM: Caleb, where are you going to be?
+
+LIAM: I am going to be way ahead, behind these
+bushes, because what I’m going to contribute I can
+
+do from far away and I can be knocked down like
+that, so.
+
+MARISHA: Molly, are you taking bush one?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take bush one.
+
+MATT: Okay, so Molly, you’re going here?
+
+SAM: Wait, I thought Caleb was the Bush Man.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Caleb’s going to be all the way back
+there.
+
+MATT: Beau?
+
+MARISHA: I’m bush two.
+
+MATT: Bush two here?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All right. Beau’s going to be here.
+
+MARISHA: These are great codenames.
+
+MATT: And you’re going to be behind the tree?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+MARISHA: Do we have a signal as to when we go?
+You’re going to do the Slow spell, and then we
+
+fuck shit up.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to have to improvise. If they can
+all be clumped together for the best, but I’m
+
+going to wait and I’m going to call it in the
+moment, if there’s two together and not three, I
+
+will go for two. If all three are together, great.
+
+SAM: Just dry run it here, dry run it.
+
+MARISHA: Dry running it.
+
+SAM: Okay. The cart’s coming, it gets slowed. “Oh,
+what the fuck’s going on?”
+
+TALIESIN: It gets slowed when it reaches a log.
+
+LIAM: Oh, I thought they were coming from the
+other direction.
+
+MARISHA: No, this way.
+
+MATT: That’s the north side.
+
+TALIESIN: I was going to say, either that or you
+hid up a rock.
+
+MARISHA: Do you want to tradesies with Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: Once the first caravan passes the log.
+
+SAM: Then Slow it? But it doesn’t stop, it just
+slows.
+
+TALIESIN: Does it just slow, not stop?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, well, it’s called Slow, not Stop.
+If it was a Stop spell, it would be called a Stop spell.
+
+LIAM: The horses will slow, the people will slow.
+
+SAM: So right here, it slows. They’re like, “What
+the fuck’s going on?”
+
+ASHLY: We saw that Lorenzo was in the leading
+cart, right?
+
+MATT: The leading cart, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: How far is your distance?
+
+TALIESIN: I think we want to be a little further.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, so, further.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I think we want to try and get the Slow
+spell off after it’s past the log, right?
+
+SAM: They’re already past us, then. We’ll stop
+them.
+
+MARISHA: No! Because I’m here, I’m here, Caleb’s
+here, you’re there. Because this will make them
+
+funnel, which will gather them for Caleb’s spell.
+
+LIAM: And a row of carts, though, not a group.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+LIAM: It will make for a train, which will not get
+them all within what I need. Maybe two of them.
+
+MARISHA: Why don’t you tradesies with me, then?
+
+LIAM: They’re still on a road, they’re still
+probably going to go, well. The risk of a straight
+
+line of them.
+
+ASHLY: How big were they? Would two, three of them
+fit in that space?
+
+MATT: The carts are about that wide.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: How wide is your spell?
+
+MATT: They’d be going through one at a time.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. It’s a 40-foot radius?
+
+ASHLY: Do we want them to go through one at a
+time?
+
+LIAM: It is a 40-foot cube.
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: A cube? I mean, it’s a 40-foot cube.
+
+TALIESIN: They’ll always be in a line.
+
+LIAM: Maybe. It’s dicey. It’s right on the cusp,
+probably, for two or three. Two is better than
+
+none, slowed down.
+
+TALIESIN: If the front one is slowed down then
+they’re all going to be slowed through there.
+
+SAM: Or we do this, we slow them or whatever, and
+then–
+
+TALIESIN: And now they’re ready for a fight.
+
+SAM: Then they get here, “Oh, crack!” Or maybe we
+stop them first, crash, stop, everything stops,
+
+then we hit them with Slow.
+
+LIAM: That’s great, but they’re still in a line.
+
+MARISHA: Why would they be in a line? You’re just
+assuming they’re going to be in a line instead of
+
+clumped together.
+
+LIAM: That’s awesome, excuse me, that is fucking
+wunderbar. That is wunderbar if they were all
+
+clumped together, but I’m going to give it a 50/50
+chance of them being in a line.
+
+TALIESIN: If you slow the first cart, then the
+other two behind it are not going to be able to go
+
+any faster, either.
+
+(metal clanging)
+
+SAM: Oh, fuck!
+
+ASHLY: Then we should probably wait until they’re
+deeper in, and we can attack them, right?
+
+LIAM: That is true. If they’re in a train, we wait
+for cart number two to be in that bottleneck, and
+
+then I try to get the first two. The third one’s
+not going to go anywhere. What we’re losing is–
+
+the more of these assholes who you used to be a
+part of are, it’s not just the carts, it’s them.
+
+They can do less to us if I hit them. But you
+know, it’s not perfect. There’s no perfect situation.
+
+SAM: So should we let one cart go first, and
+then?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+ASHLY: I think so. The second cart in the
+bottleneck is when we should go.
+
+TALIESIN: And then we can push the tree on the
+first cart. That’ll be fun.
+
+LIAM: Oh, that is a lot of fun.
+
+SAM: On the first cart?
+
+LIAM: Ja, on the first one.
+
+MARISHA: On the first one, you Slow the second
+one. We attack, we win. Still winning is part of
+
+this plan. I just want to make sure that that’s
+clear.
+
+LIAM: Thank you, Mr. Sheen.
+
+MARISHA: Yes.
+
+SAM: So the first thing that happens is the trunk,
+the tree.
+
+LIAM: Correct.
+
+ASHLY: Yes.
+
+SAM: The second thing that happens is Slow. The
+third thing that happens is I pop out of the tree trunk–
+
+MARISHA: Look for our friends.
+
+SAM: Which cart are they going to be on?
+
+ASHLY: Do I know that?
+
+MATT: You have no idea.
+
+SAM: Which should I start with? The small one or a
+big one?
+
+TALIESIN: The first one, since it’s damaged.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, there’s no way to know. If you go on
+the third, then you might be less likely to be seen.
+
+TALIESIN: Or the first one would be more engaged
+with us.
+
+ASHLY: Or that.
+
+SAM: Did I give you a scroll of Invisibility?
+
+MARISHA: Oh yeah, who has that shit? Yeah, you do,
+don’t you?
+
+TALIESIN: If you’re invisible, you could maybe
+help get everybody out.
+
+SAM: Could you use it on me? Or would that ruin
+your books?
+
+LIAM: No, it won’t ruin my books, it’s just. I would
+only be able to use it this one time, then it’s gone.
+
+MARISHA: Because you haven’t transcribed it?
+
+LIAM: Do you have any paper? Yeah. It would be
+gone either way.
+
+TALIESIN: You wouldn’t be able to commit it to
+memory and then rewrite it later?
+
+MARISHA: You’re out of paper?
+
+LIAM: (sighs) No, I mean, I do have a very
+near-perfect memory.
+
+TALIESIN: But it’s near-perfect.
+
+LIAM: Near-perfect.
+
+MARISHA: But you’re out of paper?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: How long does Invisibility last?
+
+SAM: An hour?
+
+MATT: I think it lasts for an hour, or until–
+
+LIAM: But there’s no Slow if there’s Invisibility.
+Oh, but it’s a scroll.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it ends for a target that attacks or
+casts a spell. But it’ll last for an hour
+
+concentration, yes.
+
+LIAM: I’m popping out of my German accent. If I
+cast a concentration spell and then I use a
+
+scroll, does it drop the concentration check on–
+
+MATT: Yes it does. It’s still you concentrating on
+the spell.
+
+LIAM: I think Slow is more beneficial than
+Invisibility.
+
+TALIESIN: Sure, but if you use the scroll once we
+hear the bells, then we’ve got an hour. Your trap
+
+goes off, your little alarm goes off,
+Invisibility, then you wouldn’t drop Invisibility,
+
+that’s not concentration.
+
+MATT: They both are.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, then fine.
+
+MATT: You can only have one or the other.
+
+ASHLY: When is the trap going off? When does the
+alarm go off?
+
+LIAM: When they cross the finish line. I’ve set a
+silver thread across the road and if they move
+
+through that– Anyone but us who walks through that
+line will set it off and I will hear.
+
+ASHLY: But they won’t hear?
+
+LIAM: No, no, no. It’s in here.
+
+MARISHA: And how many feet ahead did you set that?
+
+LIAM: I wanted to do–
+
+MATT: It’s like 500–
+
+LIAM: No, I wanted to do more than that. Let’s say
+200 yards.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Meters.
+
+TALIESIN: I like this plan. It’s ridiculous.
+
+MARISHA: So are we doing Invisibility or no?
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+MATT: Are you guys happy to pull the trigger on
+this?
+
+LIAM: No, I am in favor of Slow over Invisibility.
+I want to kill them.
+
+MATT: Okay then.
+
+LIAM: Sorry.
+
+MATT: You have your placements. You’ve set the
+scene. The evening requires some rest, if you’re
+
+to prepare for this by the morrow.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I need to rest, I’m exhausted.
+
+MATT: So, you set up a small camp here, without
+light? Without fire?
+
+LIAM: To confirm, step one is tree goes down on
+cart one, if it’s that way, right? Slow happens,
+
+you can get a sneak attack in if it’s an ambush.
+
+SAM: I’m not going to attack, I’m just going to
+jump on a cart in the fracas and try to find a
+
+cage or two.
+
+LIAM: And everyone else is going to start
+whaling.
+
+SAM: On people. On magic users.
+
+LIAM: And that was a blonde pixie cut and a
+half-orc? A bald half-orc?
+
+MARISHA: The sorcerer is the half-elf.
+
+SAM: Can you?
+
+TALIESIN: There we are.
+
+SAM: That’s my voice, Ashly.
+
+ASHLY: It’s so beautiful.
+
+SAM: Up there, in bush land, are you going to be
+able to do anything?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I can move 40 feet, my speed. I’m
+pretty quick.
+
+SAM: But that would get you on the cart with the
+bad guys. You can’t just rain down terror from above?
+
+ASHLY: That’s true, are any of us doing ranged
+attacks?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re not ranged people.
+
+SAM: I’m ranged.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve got some pretty dope mobility.
+
+TALIESIN: And you can do stuff once Slow’s cast,
+you can also do other things once it’s rolling.
+
+LIAM: Sure, I can dispel any magical stuff going
+on in the cages shortly after, or improvise and
+
+switch to long range destruction.
+
+TALIESIN: If things look like they’re trouble,
+we’ll just go with it.
+
+LIAM: Ja, the plan will fuck up I’m sure, but we
+will scrap through, or die. Rather than choose who
+
+we’re going to attack in the moment, I saw through
+my owl the half-orc with his hood down is a bald
+
+man. I would say let’s look for that one first.
+
+ASHLY: That’s the leader, that’s Lorenzo.
+
+LIAM: That’s Liam, not Caleb. Everyone else was
+hooded, so we don’t know.
+
+MARISHA: I think Lorenzo is going to be a problem,
+because he has reach, and he’s a leader.
+
+LIAM: I would say then that whichever one reveals
+them first, either half-orc or woman with a
+
+pixie cut, whoever reveals themself first, we’ll
+say that is the one that we all target at the same
+
+time. We focus our attention to one and kill them,
+and they are out of the picture, instead of
+
+splitting between two.
+
+MARISHA: If we find that half-orc, druids tend to have
+healing abilities.
+
+LIAM: Ja, but if they don’t reveal themselves
+first–
+
+MARISHA: I’m just saying, if they reveal
+themselves at the same time.
+
+TALIESIN: Go for the druid first?
+
+LIAM: Correct. That’s wise.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. That’ll do. We’ve got a
+plan.
+
+MATT: You’re setting up camp without fire for the
+evening? Or are you lighting a fire for warmth?
+
+ASHLY: I feel like we shouldn’t.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like we shouldn’t, either.
+
+SAM: We’ll huddle together.
+
+MARISHA: We share body warmth by all spooning in a
+chain.
+
+TALIESIN: We do set up the tent.
+
+MATT: You set up the tent behind the hill. You
+spoon for warmth.
+
+ASHLY: I hate it.
+
+SAM: Who’s Lucky Pierre? Who’s in the middle?
+
+TALIESIN: Aren’t we all?
+
+LIAM: Probably Mollymauk.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m very cold, but yeah, that’ll work.
+
+MATT: You muster through an evening of
+uncomfortable but necessary closeness, which, it’s
+
+a very cold night. A faint bit of snowfall greets
+you in the morning. Not enough to coat the place
+
+in white yet. It’s these soft little flakes making
+their way down. A ways up on the road, a few miles
+
+out, there is a front of gray heading your way. It
+looks to be a wall of snowfall that probably is
+
+going to be coming about mid-day or so in your
+direction. There’s some mist in the distance. You
+
+come to; you shake it off. You’re a bit stiff from
+a night of not necessarily comfortable rest, but a
+
+long rest is had. You lose your exhaustion points.
+As you take a moment, Caleb, the bells go off.
+
+SAM: They’re already here.
+
+LIAM: Up, up!
+
+MARISHA: Do I still have the dodecahedron?
+
+MATT: You do, if you want. You would have to redo
+it again. Whoever wants to do it has to do it now.
+
+MARISHA: I toss it to Nott.
+
+SAM: I look in.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys aren’t treating it like a–
+
+LIAM: It’s totally whippets.
+
+MATT: Whippets from Xhorhas. This is great.
+
+LIAM: No, every time it’s magical and very
+special.
+
+TALIESIN: I imagine it’s a whippet that looks like
+the Matrix of Leadership from Transformers.
+
+(singing) “You got the touch!”
+
+LIAM: Anytime Caleb does it, he sees all
+timelines, but in the interest of brevity–
+
+MATT: As you guys are in your places, the first
+cart comes up.
+
+TALIESIN: Are we really doing this now?
+
+SAM: Before we go, I’m going to whisper to Caleb:
+Caleb, if anything goes shitty, I’m going to throw
+
+my flask of oil on the first cart. Light it on
+fire.
+
+LIAM: Understood.
+
+MATT: All right. As this one comes through, you
+notice the person who’s guiding it is your friend, Protto.
+
+SAM: Clarota?
+
+ASHLY: Protto.
+
+TALIESIN: Wrong timeline.
+
+MATT: Continues to push it along, and they
+separate as they see the coming pinch of the road.
+
+Behind that, you see the central one. This has the
+one figure that you don’t recognize who’s driving
+
+the cart, and walking alongside it is Lorenzo.
+This one begins to continue forward, and this
+
+pushes forward as well.
+
+SAM: Oh shit! I’m so scared.
+
+MARISHA: Me too. I’m so scared.
+
+SAM: Hold me, Ashly!
+
+MATT: On the sides of this, there is the half-orc
+druid. That’s Dwelma, and Ruzza, who’s the
+
+half-elf.
+
+MARISHA: That’s the sorcerer. These are the two
+magic users.
+
+MATT: In the back is the small singular cart
+that’s being ridden by one figure, and there,
+
+helming the end, is Juam, the human rage-filled
+warrior, the one that you’ve had the better
+
+experience with.
+
+MARISHA: The barbarian is a human?
+
+MATT: Correct. Pushing forward until about there.
+
+SAM: Come on, Keg.
+
+ASHLY: Okay. Am I doing this?
+
+MATT: Are you doing this?
+
+ASHLY: I’m felling the tree? Okay. Is this a
+strength check?
+
+MARISHA and SAM: (chanting) Keg, Keg, Keg!
+
+MATT: Roll a strength check.
+
+ASHLY: That is an 18.
+
+MATT: The tree immediately falls forward off the
+side, snapping at where it was left.
+
+SAM: How did you have that?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Actually, all of these tree pieces were sent
+by our friends at Steamforge as gifts. I was like,
+
+“I get to use these at some point,” and you guys
+are using them tonight. Falling and snapping right
+
+at the front half of the cart, breaking through.
+I’m going to give Protto an attempt to try and
+
+dodge out of the way. He succeeds with a dexterity
+saving throw, because he’s quite dexterous. He
+
+jumps back into the front of the cart, and you
+watch his lower half vanish as he stops there.
+
+ASHLY: Am I revealed, or am I hidden by the
+stump?
+
+MATT: You don’t know. Actually, that’s a valid
+point. I’m going to have you guys all roll stealth checks.
+
+TALIESIN: With advantage, because we had time?
+
+LIAM: In advance, you mean?
+
+MATT: Yeah, I’ll say in advance.
+
+ASHLY: Am I at disadvantage? I’m not moving,
+though.
+
+LIAM: Yes, Vax die, yes!
+
+ASHLY: 12.
+
+LIAM: 19.
+
+MARISHA: 20.
+
+SAM: 18.
+
+TALIESIN: 20.
+
+MATT: All of you are pretty stealthy, except for
+you. As the tree falls onto the ground, all the
+
+horses suddenly rear up, and you’ve actually
+broken where the horses are attached to that cart.
+
+The axel snaps.
+
+LIAM: That was my trigger.
+
+MATT: At which point, the carts back up at this
+point. There’s a shout in the back and you hear
+
+Protto go like, “Boss, what is–” At which point,
+you’re doing what?
+
+LIAM: Slow, and I will target these four assholes
+right here, I think I can get in one go, probably.
+
+40-foot cube.
+
+MATT: First, for the sake of order here, because
+we are engaging in a series of aggressive actions,
+
+let’s all roll initiative, please.
+
+SAM: Ah! Is that cocked? I can’t tell if that’s
+cocked. I need a ruling from– oh, it fell.
+
+LIAM: Roll again.
+
+MARISHA: Add my boots.
+
+TALIESIN: Pretty good.
+
+LIAM: Miss the Percy mega-initiative?
+
+TALIESIN: Yes. I didn’t even really understand how
+good I had it. I was so used to being okay no
+
+matter what, even if I rolled a one.
+
+MATT: First order of business here for initiative.
+I’m going to sit down for this one real fast,
+
+write it down. 25 to 20, anybody?
+
+SAM: 21.
+
+MARISHA: 20.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so glad you’re first. That’s great.
+
+MATT: Beau and Nott up first. 20 to 15?
+
+TALIESIN: 18.
+
+LIAM: 14.
+
+MATT: 14, you said, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Ja, vierzehn.
+
+MARISHA: A lot of bad guys there.
+
+MATT: That brings us to–
+
+LIAM: Evil party, evil party.
+
+MATT: What’d you get?
+
+ASHLY: Eight. I’m rolling poop on initiative.
+
+SAM: Hey, don’t leave! We might be ending now!
+
+MATT: As the tree snaps and hits, he shouts back.
+Immediately the group looks out at all sides,
+
+taking this as a means of assault, Lorenzo
+glancing over and directly locking eyes with you,
+
+Keg. There’s a look of taken aback and surprised.
+Before any reaction happens, though, you do get
+
+your action. You are casting Slow, you said?
+
+LIAM: Indeed I am. Molasses goes across my hand
+and I draw my hand down through the air, and I
+
+focus on these four, if I can. It’s a 40-foot
+cube, putting this one in a corner.
+
+MATT: How many can you target with this?
+
+LIAM: Up to six in a 40-foot cube.
+
+MATT: Up to six? That’ll be quite a lot. You can
+get all of these guys, if you want to.
+
+LIAM: All of them?
+
+MATT: Well, let’s see, because it’s (counting) 40,
+yeah. This whole section here.
+
+LIAM: Well, you know, fuck it. Let’s also get this
+horse.
+
+MATT: There’s six people there.
+
+LIAM: Oh, there’s six of them? Oh, wow, yes!
+
+MATT: There’s the one who’s helming this horse,
+the one who’s helming these horses, the back of
+
+the cart, and then those four.
+
+LIAM: Yes, never mind. I didn’t think we were
+getting all of those people. Good. All of the humanoids.
+
+MATT: For the two thugs that are on the horses,
+two and a three. Natural two and a three. They are
+
+both slowed.
+
+TALIESIN: What does Slow mean, by the way?
+
+LIAM: Half speed, negative two to armor class, no
+reactions, and they can either do an action or a
+
+bonus action; they can’t do both.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my god, that’s amazing.
+
+LIAM: They can attempt to cast a spell, but–
+
+TALIESIN: That means you can attack and then
+disengage for free. That’s amazing!
+
+MATT: Ruzza does not succeed. Ruzza is slowed.
+
+MARISHA: Ruzza, the sorcerer! Did the druid save?
+
+MATT: The druid does save. The barbarian– the
+barbarian does not save.
+
+MARISHA: The druid saved, Dwelma.
+
+MATT: And Lorenzo– that is a 17. Saves.
+
+MARISHA: That’s pretty dope, though.
+
+MATT: This all happens. Combat has begun. Starting
+at the top of the combat order: Beau, you’re up first.
+
+MARISHA: No, Nott is. Nott rolled a 21 and I
+rolled a 20.
+
+MATT: Oh! Got you. I put them in the wrong order.
+
+SAM: We’re starting this? I don’t know how I’m
+going to get on this fucking cart! How am I going to
+
+get on this cart? I’m not invisible!
+
+LIAM: Your charisma, Sam! Your charisma.
+
+SAM: All right. I’ll run past Lorenzo. As I run, I
+will dump all my oil on him.
+
+MATT: Okay, that’s your action.
+
+SAM: Yep, that’s my action.
+
+MATT: (splashing) He looks at it, sees you dart
+by.
+
+SAM: Bonus action disengage.
+
+MATT: Okay. He can’t make an attack of opportunity
+on you.
+
+SAM: And jump into the cart and start doing this.
+
+MATT: This big one there?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You dart in, and as soon as your vision
+comes through, you come face-to-face with a metal cage.
+
+SAM: Oh, shit!
+
+MATT: Right there in front of you. For you who can
+watch, the back half of Nott is still visible. The
+
+entire cart is filled with cages. Front to back.
+
+SAM: They’re invisible cages?
+
+MATT: The cages are blanketed by some sort of
+illusion.
+
+SAM: The part of me that hit the cage is now
+invisible also?
+
+MATT: Correct, but just the front half. It looks
+like Nott vanishes partway through, like you’ve
+
+stepped through part of a doorway. On the inside,
+you see a very sweaty human man who is gagged and
+
+leaned up against the cage like, (whines). He
+looks up towards you.
+
+SAM: That’s all I’ve got.
+
+MATT: That’s all you’ve got.
+
+TALIESIN: Can you get a little bit more around
+the– or is that all your movement?
+
+SAM: I’m sure I pushed as far as I could.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I’m probably more than 40 feet away
+from the druid?
+
+MATT: You can just get to the druid at 40 feet.
+(counting) You do have to get down there.
+
+MARISHA: Sweet jump.
+
+MATT: Make an acrobatics check.
+
+SAM: Come on, this is what you live for!
+
+MARISHA: It is what I live for! Ten!
+
+MATT: You manage to land without losing your
+footing. You get right up to the druid there.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, fuck. Okay. Two attacks. First
+attack, okay! That’s a natural 16, plus seven is
+
+21. Right? 16 plus seven?
+
+TALIESIN: 21.
+
+MARISHA: 21, and that’s eight damage.
+
+MATT: That is.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to spend a ki point to do
+Stunning Strike.
+
+MATT: That is a natural 15 plus three is 18.
+
+MARISHA: That really sucks.
+
+SAM: You’ve got ball bearings!
+
+MARISHA: I do have ball bearings. Take my second
+hit.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: That’s 20 total.
+
+MATT: 20 total? Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Another eight damage. I’m going to
+spend another ki point to try Stunning Strike again.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+MARISHA: What was that, plus three?
+
+MATT: 15. What’s the DC?
+
+MARISHA: 14.
+
+LIAM: Nope.
+
+SAM: It’s a perfect plan.
+
+MARISHA: I’m burning through so many ki points.
+
+SAM: It’s now or never.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to spend one more ki point to
+do Patient Defense because I’m probably going to
+
+need it now.
+
+MATT: Okay, going into defensive mode. That
+finishes Beau’s go.
+
+MARISHA: Three ki points! Burning them out.
+
+SAM: Ki questions.
+
+MATT: All right. It’s now Ruzza’s turn, who is
+slowed.
+
+LIAM: If you attempt to cast a spell with a
+casting time of one action–
+
+MATT: It doesn’t go off until the next turn.
+
+LIAM: Right.
+
+SAM: Wow, Slow is the best!
+
+MATT: Ruzza’s going to step back, looking towards
+Lorenzo, and goes, “Boss, this is so weird.” It’s
+
+weird to hear this slowed-down, deeper voice
+coming out of this female half-elf, but
+
+nevertheless, here we are. As she steps away and
+begins– She does give a bit of bardic inspiration
+
+to Lorenzo, because she’s technically not a
+sorcerer.
+
+SAM: Not a sorcerer?! You got it wrong!
+
+MATT: That’s as much as you know.
+
+TALIESIN: Is that a bonus action, though? You have
+to do an action or a bonus action, you can’t do both.
+
+MATT: Oh, that’s right! So they’re not doing
+that.
+
+LIAM: Read the cards, people! Read the cards!
+
+TALIESIN: No dubstep today. No wub wub.
+
+MATT: Still saying that phrase, but not in an
+inspirational way. Is going to cast, glancing over
+
+in your direction as the source of it.
+
+LIAM: Knew where I was? My stealth was that
+shitty?
+
+MATT: Once you cast the spell you reveal yourself,
+buddy. That’s how it works, unfortunately.
+
+SAM: The cover of bush?
+
+ASHLY: He’s bushman!
+
+SAM: Yeah, we had him all bushed.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to die. It’s fine.
+
+MATT: This is going to be– Yeah, let’s do some
+Hypnotic Pattern. Why not?
+
+SAM: He’ll resist it.
+
+MATT: He begins (slow incantation) and slowly
+backs to here, getting up on the hill, climbing to
+
+get some better visual perspective over the
+battlefield. That’s going to end Ruzza’s turn,
+
+Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I look at Keg and: You got that one?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Right. I’m going to start my movement.
+I’ve got 30 feet of movement. I can get almost to
+
+the edge of this mountain, right?
+
+MATT: You can get right there.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s 30 feet?
+
+MATT: That’s 30 feet there.
+
+TALIESIN: Then I can teleport how far?
+
+MATT: 30 feet.
+
+TALIESIN: Can I get to flanking?
+
+MATT: Flanking? To there, you mean?
+
+TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can do that.
+
+TALIESIN: Is that way more than– I have a 30 foot
+teleport, right?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it possible to do it halfway through
+my movement so I still have two steps that I can
+
+take? No, never mind. Eff it, I’m good. I’m not
+going to fight it. I’m going to take two attacks.
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: I have advantage.
+
+MATT: You do.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+MATT: I assume you had your rites prepared.
+
+TALIESIN: Both are up.
+
+SAM: Come on, motherfucker!
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, that’s 19. Yeah, that hits. The
+first one is awful: seven points of damage.
+
+MATT: Seven points of damage? All righty.
+
+TALIESIN: Second one is 16, 17, yeah, that’s 16
+plus seven.
+
+MATT: That hits, roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s better. 12 points of damage.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage! You’re carving through.
+She’s not slowed by the impact of the spell and
+
+taking these wounds, hurting her quite a bit.
+She’s not horribly maimed, but is starting to show
+
+some wear from the strikes that she’s suffered.
+That ends your turn. That brings us to Lorenzo. Hmm.
+
+SAM: Wow, we stumped him.
+
+MARISHA: I know, so quiet!
+
+SAM: The only good plan that we’ve ever made is
+without Travis and Laura here. Let’s make that clear.
+
+MARISHA: I’m still stoked on our– was it
+Umbrasyl? The frost dragon?
+
+TALIESIN: That was pretty solid.
+
+SAM: Are you doing a throwback right now?
+
+MARISHA: Yes, I am.
+
+LIAM: Vorugal was the frost. Umbrasyl was black
+acid.
+
+MARISHA: When Vorugal fought Yenk.
+
+MATT: Lorenzo, watching you and your friends,
+shouts out in your direction and goes–
+
+LIAM: Slowed.
+
+MATT: Well, he’s not slowed.
+
+LIAM: Oh, he saved.
+
+MATT: “Keg! I don’t know what you’re trying here,
+but I think the line’s been drawn.” He’s going to
+
+step over here, pushing through the horses,
+leaping over in the direction of where Nott is
+
+there and is going to shout out, “Hey! Move
+aside!” and holds his hand out in front of him.
+
+That’s going to end his turn.
+
+SAM: Oh no.
+
+LIAM: He’s casting!
+
+SAM: He can cast?! I thought you said he was a
+fighter! Your information is the worst!
+
+ASHLY: I’m not very smart!
+
+MATT: Protto is currently like freaking out by
+this, sees this all happening, narrowingly missed
+
+the tree slamming into him, goes and pulls out his
+bow and nocks an arrow into it and is going to
+
+take a shot. Let’s see, the one he saw dart that
+way’s going to be Molly. He’s going to fire at Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: He’s going to have a hard time doing
+that. Disadvantage.
+
+MATT: What’s the range on it?
+
+TALIESIN: Of my Blood Maledict?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s see. I’m not looking at the right
+thing. Where is it?
+
+MATT: Is it a 30 or 60 foot range?
+
+TALIESIN: Blood Maledict!
+
+MATT: For your Blood Curse of the Eyeless?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, it’s 60 feet!
+
+MATT: 60 feet? Yeah, that’ll do it!
+
+TALIESIN: Amplified.
+
+MATT: Amplified, so disadvantage on– He gets two
+strikes.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I take a lot of damage for that.
+Five points of damage.
+
+MATT: First one with disadvantage is going to be
+16 to hit? What’s your armor class?
+
+TALIESIN: For fuck’s sake! 15.
+
+MATT: 15, so that hits. Because you’re adjacent to
+an ally of his, he gets sneak attack bonus on that.
+
+TALIESIN: God fucking damn it!
+
+SAM: Rogues are the worst.
+
+MATT: That’s going to put him–
+
+LIAM: Slash the best!
+
+MATT: To be fair, it’s a shitty sneak attack roll.
+That’s a total of 14 points of piercing damage
+
+from the first arrow into your shoulder.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+MATT: The other one is going to be–
+
+TALIESIN: Did he get disadvantage on the other
+attack as well?
+
+MATT: He did, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+MATT: 16, on this one.
+
+SAM: Oh!
+
+TALIESIN: 16?
+
+MATT: Because it was an 11 and a ten he rolled
+and it’s plus six on his attacks.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, so they both hit.
+
+MATT: Okay, the other one just deals six points of
+piercing damage.
+
+SAM: Oh, that wasn’t damage. I thought that was
+damage, okay.
+
+MATT: He’s going to jump off and move over here,
+up onto the top to get a good view since he’s a
+
+ranged guy with his arrows. He’s keeping down and
+getting ready for that.
+
+MARISHA: No, I ran over there. I’m fighting the
+druid!
+
+SAM: Oh, you ditched. That’s fine.
+
+MATT: That’s going to go ahead and– that was his
+action surge and everything, so he’s done. Next
+
+up. Bear with me, guys. There is a lot going on
+right here.
+
+SAM: Yeah, there’s 12 players.
+
+MATT: Caleb, your turn.
+
+LIAM: We’re back to me?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you had the ambush round technically
+because it was the trigger, Slow, and then
+
+everything happened at once. The tree triggered
+the ambush seeing you, so the only one who got a
+
+round off was you for the spell.
+
+LIAM: I cast Dispel Magic on the cages or I could
+attack the person about to attack me.
+
+MARISHA: Who’s going to attack you?
+
+LIAM: That’s what I would do. I will use the Glove
+of Blasting to fire on the person attacking me.
+
+SAM: Which one?
+
+TALIESIN: The one on the hill.
+
+LIAM: The one on the hill.
+
+MARISHA: The sorcerer.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay, go for it. Roll for attacks on that.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, three of those.
+
+MATT: Minus two to their armor class.
+
+LIAM: First one does not hit, that is a 12.
+
+MATT: Goes wide.
+
+LIAM: Second is– Sorry. 17?
+
+MATT: 17 hits.
+
+LIAM: Oh, it was 16 on the last one! Does that
+hit?
+
+MATT: That would hit!
+
+LIAM: Thank you! The third one definitely misses.
+That’s a two plus eight, that’s ten.
+
+MATT: Okay, so two hits. It’s 4d6.
+
+LIAM: 4d6.
+
+MATT: Not a bad opening round.
+
+LIAM: Not that great. Ten damage, fire damage.
+They have to make a constitution save?
+
+MATT: Yes. To maintain?
+
+LIAM: Oh, they were casting an attack. Well, I
+don’t know what they were casting.
+
+MATT: They still have to make a concentration
+check to see if they can finish with their
+
+casting, yeah. That is a 13 plus two. That is a
+15. So yeah, they’re fine.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, they’re fine.
+
+MATT: Is that the end of your turn, Caleb? Staying
+where you are?
+
+LIAM: I will lie down flat on my back.
+
+MATT: Okay! You go prone? Caleb goes prone. Okay,
+now it’s the thugs’ turn. They are slowed, so they
+
+can’t move too far. This one is going to move
+back. That’s as far as he can move, and he’s going
+
+to pull out his crossbow and he gets one shot,
+because of the Slow spell. He’s going to take it
+
+towards you, Caleb, with disadvantage because
+you’re so far away.
+
+TALIESIN: And prone.
+
+MATT; Yeah, you’re still within the minimum
+distance, so with disadvantage regardless. That
+
+is, with disadvantage, a 13. What’s your armor
+class?
+
+LIAM: Shield. It doesn’t hit.
+
+MATT: The bolt goes wide. This guy here is also
+slowed. He’s going to attempt to back away.
+
+SAM: Do the horses get an attack of opportunity?
+
+MATT: They do not. He’s going to attempt to use
+the edge of the tree for some cover as he takes a
+
+shot at Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Disadvantage.
+
+MATT: Yep. And that is going to be a 13 again!
+
+MARISHA: Miss, yeah.
+
+SAM: We’re still alive!
+
+MATT: Now it is Juam’s turn, who is slowed, and
+right here, next to Caleb, is going to take a
+
+strike at you. Not technically– only gets one
+attack, so the first one would’ve been 12.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, nope.
+
+MATT; Spends 15 feet of movement backing away
+there, as the boss said. You do get an attack of
+
+opportunity if you’d like to take it.
+
+TALIESIN: I used my reaction.
+
+MATT: Oh, you did! That’s right, you do not.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I still have a second Blood Maledict,
+by the way, this round? I can spend another round
+
+doing it. I know we changed the rules slightly. At
+fifth level, do I get two uses or just two options?
+
+MATT: I’ll have to double check.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. When we get there.
+
+MATT: That’s the two thugs’ turns. That’s Juam’s
+turn. Keg, you’re up.
+
+SAM: All right, Keg! Kill them all in one turn!
+From 45 feet away.
+
+ASHLY: I feel like narratively, Keg is actually
+pretty freaked right now. Is it weird to ever give
+
+yourself disadvantage on things narratively?
+
+MATT: No, it makes sense! We’ve all done it to
+some degree.
+
+LIAM: It’s Sam’s raison d'être.
+
+ASHLY: Okay, so I’m going to give myself
+disadvantage on everything I’m going to try to do
+
+this turn, because seeing Lorenzo again I think
+has really freaked Keg out.
+
+SAM: He is covered in oil, which makes him kind of
+sexy.
+
+ASHLY: I’m aroused and scared?
+
+MATT: Which, the armor that Lorenzo is wearing–
+you’ve seen it before. It’s studded leather, but
+
+it’s straps and hooks. The theme of it resembles
+very much elements of his profession, or at least
+
+reminding you what he does. So the oil weirdly
+does make it strangely erotic. It’s your turn, you
+
+have 25 feet of movement, so that’ll only get you
+about five squares of movement.
+
+ASHLY: Okay, I’m going to run. I’m going to run–
+
+SAM: Away?
+
+ASHLY: Away.
+
+SAM: Jesus. Ugh, you’re the worst!
+
+ASHLY: I’m roleplaying!
+
+MATT: Are you running towards the action or away
+from it?
+
+ASHLY: I’ll run towards this– no, I’m going to
+run towards those horses. I’m going to run that way.
+
+MATT: Make an acrobatics check to leap down.
+
+ASHLY: Terrible. Awful. Five.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you lose the last five feet of
+movement. That’s your movement there.
+
+ASHLY: My javelin can’t go very far, right?
+
+MATT: Your javelin has a pretty decent range. Does
+it have the ranges next to it in the app? That’s
+
+okay, I have it here. The javelin– it’s 30 and
+120 feet. So it can go 30 feet without
+
+disadvantage and 120 feet with disadvantage.
+
+LIAM: But you said everything’s at disadvantage?
+
+MATT: So you might as well.
+
+ASHLY: Might as well, yeah. So is Protto within 120
+feet?
+
+MATT: Protto is. Right up there on the hill,
+getting his arrows nocked.
+
+ASHLY: Okay. I hate him definitively, so I’m going
+to throw at Protto. With disadvantage. Five.
+
+MATT: Completely passes over.
+
+ASHLY: I can use my bonus action to move again? Or
+no, I can’t.
+
+MATT: No, you can’t. That’s where you are. You can
+take another javelin attack, because you have
+
+three javelins.
+
+ASHLY: I’ll try again.
+
+MATT: You get one more swing at him.
+
+ASHLY: No. Doesn’t work. That’s terrible. I won’t
+even bother.
+
+MATT: Both javelins miss. You’re shaken by this
+experience.
+
+TALIESIN: You did throw two javelins at an
+irritating creature, so that’s good.
+
+LIAM: Get the nerves out. Get the nervousness
+out.
+
+MATT: It’s now Dwelma’s turn. Dwelma is going to
+cast Dispel Magic.
+
+MARISHA: Does that mean I get to take an attack on
+her?
+
+MATT: Not unless you have the War Caster–
+
+MARISHA: Mage Slayer?
+
+MATT: Mage Slayer, I mean.
+
+MARISHA: I almost took that. Took Sentinel
+instead.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s going to take two turns though,
+right?
+
+MATT; She wasn’t affected by Slow.
+
+TALIESIN: Ah, really?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. She was one of the ones that saved.
+That’s why I was trying to stun her.
+
+SAM; What do you cast Dispel Magic on?
+
+MATT: The magical effect, which is the Slow
+effect.
+
+SAM: And it will do it over all of the–?
+
+MATT: If it’s any spell third level or lower, the
+target ends, so Slow fades.
+
+SAM: Oh no.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck! That’s why I was trying to stun
+her! I think she still could have done it, though.
+
+MATT: Not from being stunned, she couldn’t.
+
+MARISHA; Oh, well, cool. Feels really good about
+failing it twice now.
+
+MATT; Sorry! She’s going to move to this side.
+Actually, and is going to run. So you both get
+
+attacks of opportunity on her.
+
+TALIESIN: You get an attack of opportunity.
+
+MARISHA: That’s not very good at all. 12.
+
+MATT: 12 is not going to hit! Not with Barkskin,
+sorry. Actually, no! She doesn’t have Barkskin
+
+because of the ambush. She hasn’t had time to cast
+it, so it’s an AC of 11. You do hit!
+
+MARISHA: What? She doesn’t move anywhere!
+
+MATT: She is stuck there.
+
+TALIESIN: Well actually, no. Can you freeze her?
+
+MARISHA: She’s not moving. She can’t move and she
+takes five damage.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s still between the two of us. She
+couldn’t have circled.
+
+MATT: No, she circled around. It’s when she leaves
+the range, so she gets stuck there. That ends her
+
+turn. Now Lorenzo’s turn’s going to trigger.
+
+SAM: What the fuck is that?! He’s a dragon-man?!
+What is this?
+
+ASHLY: What is happening?
+
+LIAM: That is huge.
+
+SAM: Jesus! What the fuck is that?!
+
+LIAM: I don’t know. That’s your call.
+
+MATT: I think it just misses you. It’s right
+there.
+
+LIAM: That’s why I go far away.
+
+ASHLY: What the fuck?!
+
+MATT: As a Cone of Cold bursts forth from–
+(whooshing) Lorenzo smiles as his friends have
+
+come out of the way, and this burst of freezing
+cold arcane energy swirls in front of him,
+
+flash-freezing everything in front, including the
+cart, actually.
+
+ASHLY: So Nott gets frozen too?
+
+MATT: Nott has to make a reflex save. Beau and
+Molly have to make– sorry, dexterity save. Oh,
+
+that’s a relic!
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: Nice!
+
+SAM: You know what? I’ll use my luck.
+
+TALIESIN: 19.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, don’t get frozen.
+
+SAM: Terrible!
+
+MARISHA: Oh no!
+
+ASHLY: Oh no, what was it?
+
+SAM: 11.
+
+MATT: Oh, buddy. All right. Okay. What did you
+roll?
+
+TALIESIN: 19.
+
+MATT: 19, okay. Nott, you take 41 points of cold
+damage.
+
+SAM: I’ll halve that.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you use your reaction to halve
+that.
+
+ASHLY: Did you say, I’m sorry, 41? Four-one?
+Okay.
+
+MATT: Molly, you take– that would be 20 points of
+cold damage.
+
+TALIESIN: Jesus Christ.
+
+MATT: Beau, you take 20 points of cold damage.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck!
+
+TALIESIN: 20 points?
+
+MATT: Yep. As it triggers and the frost finishes
+off in the space there, Lorenzo, grinning, looks
+
+over his shoulder back at Keg and goes like, “Am I
+going to have to make a lesson here?”
+
+SAM: Oh no, he’s winning!
+
+MATT: That brings us to the top of the round.
+Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: All right, I think I have to use an action to
+unlock this cage. To pick the lock.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Make your lockpick check.
+
+SAM: Fuck you! Five plus, I don’t know. What is it
+usually, seven?
+
+MATT: Dex and proficiency, so it would be seven,
+yeah.
+
+SAM: 12?
+
+MATT: It’s not enough. You spend a moment and the
+lock is not going. These are pretty intense cages,
+
+and you look over there, and Lorenzo’s standing
+there with the glaive.
+
+SAM: I’m going to move around the cages or between
+them, so that I turn completely invisible.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a good call.
+
+MATT: You move through a very small gap, they’re
+pushed up against each other. Make a strength
+
+check to see if you can push through; you might
+not be able to.
+
+SAM: Nope! That’s a three.
+
+MATT: You can’t push through it; the cages are too
+close. The small gap there, you try to muscle it,
+
+but there are two to three people in each cage,
+and you can’t push though.
+
+SAM: Can I use my bonus action to– Jesus, what
+can I do for my bonus action? I can’t hide. Can I hide?
+
+MATT: You could try, you’re partially obscured.
+
+SAM: I got nothing else to do on a bonus action.
+So yeah, I will try to hide.
+
+ASHLY: Lorenzo’s eyeing him right now, you said?
+
+SAM: I’ll go on the side of the cart and–
+
+MATT: Lorenzo’s eyeing in that direction.
+
+SAM: I’ll hide off the side of the cart.
+
+MATT: Okay, make a stealth check.
+
+SAM: Oh, that’s wonderful. It’s 29!
+
+MATT: You appear, within your mind, to have
+vanished from the current sight.
+
+SAM: Of at least Lorenzo.
+
+MATT: All righty. That brings us to, finishing
+Nott, Beau, your turn.
+
+MARISHA: Oh God! Damn, this fucking druid. I’m
+just going to lay into the druid.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, first attack. Natural 20!
+
+MATT: Oh, snap!
+
+MARISHA: Thank you, Gil! That’s doubling dice
+damage. Big money, come on! Six plus four: ten.
+
+MATT: Ten damage. Oof, Dwelma’s looking rough.
+
+MARISHA: Really?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Second attack. 14 plus seven, so 21.
+
+MATT: Although technically when the Slow spell
+finished, a Hypnotic Pattern may have gone off.
+
+Yeah, that would have gone off. So make your
+wisdom saving throw, if you don’t mind.
+
+LIAM: No, I don’t mind at all.
+
+SAM: May I ask a weird question, Matt?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: The guy that I was trying to break out of the
+cage: is he alive?
+
+MATT: Glancing around the area, it looks like the
+people that were right on the outer edge of the
+
+cages are frozen.
+
+SAM: Would I have seen that before I tried to
+unlock the cage?
+
+MATT: The guy who’s near you, he’s fine. They
+blocked the impact there. It was your latter half
+
+that was sticking out that got blasted.
+
+SAM: Okay, cool.
+
+LIAM: I rolled a 22.
+
+MATT: 22, all right, so the Hypnotic Pattern does
+not affect you. Well done.
+
+MARISHA: I did 11 damage on my second attack on
+her.
+
+MATT: She goes down.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck yes!
+
+SAM: Down like dead?
+
+MATT: Like unconscious and bleeding out.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you have any more attacks left?
+
+MARISHA: I have my bonus. Can I move and then
+attack again?
+
+MATT: Yeah, if you want to.
+
+TALIESIN: Or you could hit them while they’re down
+and help them bleed out.
+
+MARISHA: I thought about that, but I have enough
+movement that I can make it to the barbarian, right?
+
+MATT: You could.
+
+MARISHA: Are you going to handle Lorenzo? Who’s
+going to handle Lorenzo? (shouting) Who’s going to
+
+handle Lorenzo? Fuck! I’m going to jump over the
+horses’ asses and get to Lorenzo.
+
+MATT: You are.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh dear.
+
+MATT: Okay. Make an acrobatics check.
+
+MARISHA: 14.
+
+MATT: You get over the horses. Where are you going
+to stand, on the cart? There’s not a lot of room
+
+here to stand to fight and you’d have to get
+over–
+
+MARISHA: I have 40 feet of movement, so wherever I
+can go.
+
+MATT: I’ll say you can get back right here.
+
+SAM: Yes, land on the horse’s back!
+
+MARISHA: Can I land on the horse’s back?
+
+MATT: Sure, why not?
+
+LIAM: Now you’re mounted!
+
+MATT: So you’re on the horse.
+
+MARISHA: I’m on a horse. Am I within range of
+him?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: He’s right there.
+
+MARISHA: I’m in combat range of him.
+
+MATT: Yes you are.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to spend another ki point to do
+Patient Defense. I don’t trust this motherfucker.
+
+Hopefully that’s useful.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: That brings us to Ruzza. Ruzza, who watched
+the druid go down, sees you over there being
+
+really defensive and looks around. He’s going to
+attempt to cast Hold Person at level three. I need
+
+Mollymauk and Beau to make wisdom saving throws
+please.
+
+TALIESIN: Motherfucker.
+
+SAM: You got this, guys. You got this. Big rolls!
+
+TALIESIN: 25.
+
+MARISHA: 21.
+
+MATT: Completely resists it. Shit.
+
+LIAM: Burned it! Burn that shit!
+
+MATT: Back up around the tree trunk there. That
+ends her turn. Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s no way to get through–
+
+MATT: Thank you for sticking with us. I know this
+is going late, but I want to see how this turns
+
+out. We’ve been gone for two weeks. Consider it a
+bonus episode.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s no way I can make it to Lorenzo
+from here, is there?
+
+MATT: It’s possible.
+
+TALIESIN: Not anymore.
+
+MATT: You can climb over the cart if you want to.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to get my ass kicked if I get
+there. I’m going to try and engage the barbarian
+
+before raging happens.
+
+MATT: It’s up to you.
+
+TALIESIN: God damn it. Fuck it, if you’re in with
+Lorenzo, I’m going for Lorenzo.
+
+MATT: Okay, make an acrobatics check to try and
+get over the cart without issue.
+
+TALIESIN: Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten? You lose some movement, but you still
+have enough to get right there. That’s as close as
+
+you get. Lorenzo’s technically supposed to be in
+that space.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take three attacks. I do
+not have advantage, obviously.
+
+MATT: No, you do not.
+
+TALIESIN: First attack. Is that cocked or is that
+okay?
+
+SAM: Is it your big dice? It’s cocked.
+
+TALIESIN: Damn it! It was a 20. Now it’s a 22.
+
+ALL: Whoa!
+
+MATT: Take your damage.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s (counting) 18 points of damage.
+
+MATT: Nice!
+
+TALIESIN: Not happy. Swipe number two. That’s a
+ten.
+
+MATT: Ten does not hit.
+
+TALIESIN: Then the other one is a three. That does
+not hit either.
+
+MATT: That first strike carves past. You see blood
+spatter across the edge of the hillside. Lorenzo’s
+
+like, “All right, I see what you’re doing. One for
+one.” Slams the glaive onto the ground. That ends
+
+your turn, Molly. It is Lorenzo’s turn. Lorenzo’s
+going to go ahead and make two glaive attacks
+
+against you.
+
+TALIESIN: I think I have a second Blood Maledict
+usage now.
+
+MATT: You’re still level five.
+
+TALIESIN: I know. I was looking, because I know
+you changed things, and it says “Blood Maledict:
+
+"You can invoke a blood curse a number of times per
+short rest based on your levels. 2nd one, 5th two,
+
+"9th three.” I’m taking– hoping this die rolls
+worse, come on. For fuck’s sake! My Blood Maledict
+
+literally kills me. Actually, no, fuck, was I
+going to do it advanced? I was going to do it
+
+advanced. My own Blood Maledict knocks me
+unconscious.
+
+MARISHA: You get knocked unconscious?
+
+TALIESIN: I was at four hit points. What was I
+going to do?
+
+MARISHA: Not that!
+
+SAM: Oh god, is he still going to attack you?
+
+MATT: First hit. You guys watch as Molly falls
+back unconscious, Lorenzo looks confused. His
+
+vision still obscured, the blindness.
+
+MARISHA: Am I flanking Molly?
+
+MATT: Yeah. Actually, you’re not flanking, because
+you’re at an angle. You’re on the horse. So no.
+
+The first strike slams down into Molly’s chest,
+the blade actually sinking about seven inches into
+
+the chest. Blood spatters out of your mouth. You
+can use your reaction to make an attack.
+
+MARISHA: I can, as Sentinel.
+
+MATT: As Sentinel you can, yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+MARISHA: 14?
+
+MATT: 14 does not hit, so it misses there.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck!
+
+MATT: Lorenzo looks back over towards Keg. Looks
+up at you, Beau, and says, “An example it is.”
+
+Molly, in the brief moments of consciousness, what
+do you want to be your last words?
+
+SAM: Oh no!
+
+ASHLY: Can I say: Wait!
+
+MATT: No.
+
+ASHLY: He’s in it? It’s done?
+
+MATT: This is done.
+
+SAM: Do you get a reaction? Do you have anything?
+
+ASHLY: Maybe I could talk to him?
+
+MATT: Molly, you have a brief moment. As the
+consciousness and life leaves you, what are your
+
+last words?
+
+TALIESIN: (spitting) With blood.
+
+SAM: Oh, god.
+
+MATT: As it slams into his face, “Respect,” and
+then twists the blade. The life leaves Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Eyes never shut.
+
+MATT: It’s now Protto’s turn. Protto is going to
+take a single shot, because he used his action
+
+surge. Now that he’s gotten two javelin tossed,
+he’s going to fire at you, seeing that you’re in
+
+the proximity. That’s a natural two, misses, off
+your armor. You’re not even paying attention.
+
+You’re looking over at this and you feel it
+deflect. No impact. Caleb, your turn.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to hold my turn, and cast a
+Scorching Ray at the sorcerer the moment they do
+
+anything. First, I will get up off of prone, into
+a crouch.
+
+MATT: Okay. The thugs take their turn. Both of
+them are going to–
+
+TALIESIN: I might need to leave the table for a
+while.
+
+MARISHA: No!
+
+MATT: They’re both going to back up and take two
+crossbow shots at Beau. You have your Patient
+
+Defense on?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I can’t watch this.
+
+SAM: Oh, god.
+
+MATT: That is still a 16 and a 17 they rolled.
+
+MARISHA: 16 misses, 17 hits.
+
+MATT: That’s right! First one, you deflect out of
+the air.
+
+SAM: Catch it.
+
+MATT: No, she already used her reaction. And the
+other one is–
+
+MARISHA: I can still use Deflect Missiles, right,
+to lower it?
+
+MATT: You use your reaction to do it. But it
+rolled a 15 to hit. You, watching this happen,
+
+hear it deflected off. The other one you catch and
+drop, still looking down at Molly’s not-moving
+
+body. As Lorenzo now grins back at you and says,
+“Is it time for another, or have you learned your lesson?”
+
+MARISHA: You should know: I have no respect for
+authority.
+
+MATT: “Then another life it is.” All right, that
+ends thugs’ turn.
+
+SAM: I’m invisible!
+
+MATT: He does not see you.
+
+ASHLY: As a quick reminder!
+
+MATT: (counting) You’re the closest there. The
+barbarian goes pulling in, is going to use an
+
+action to move up into melee with you, but that’s
+their turn. This is not looking good, guys. Which
+
+brings us to Keg. Keg, you’ve seen these
+situations before. What are you going to do?
+
+ASHLY: Can I reach them with my speed?
+
+MATT: Can you reach who?
+
+ASHLY: Lorenzo and Beau.
+
+MATT: No.
+
+ASHLY: How close can I get?
+
+MATT: With the tree there, about there is as close
+as you can get. You can use your action to move,
+
+but you wouldn’t be able to do anything else.
+
+ASHLY: But I can talk to him?
+
+MATT: You can. You move up over the log, and it
+gets you there.
+
+ASHLY: I say: Stop! Stop! Make me the example.
+Stop. Just stop attacking them.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+ASHLY: 11.
+
+MATT: Okay, that’s your turn. Dwelma’s bleeding
+out. Nott, your turn.
+
+SAM: What do I do? Lorenzo hasn’t been hit yet,
+has he?
+
+ASHLY and MATT: He got hit once.
+
+SAM: Once, but he’s not going to go down.
+
+MARISHA: He’s covered in shit.
+
+MATT: You hear Keg shouting and mid-battle
+parleying.
+
+MARISHA: There’s the barbarian on Caleb, which is
+not good.
+
+SAM: I will first try to use a bonus action to use
+item and pour acid on one of the locks. See if
+
+that opens it.
+
+MATT: Okay. You pour acid on the lock. It’s going
+to take a moment. Acid isn’t an immediate thing,
+
+if you’re not going to splash it on somebody. It
+has to eat through metal.
+
+SAM: Well, shit. Then I won’t do that.
+
+MATT: You would know that as an alchemist.
+
+SAM: I will– Shit, what do I do? I can’t kill
+anything here. I’m going to try the lock. I’m
+
+going to try the lock. there’s nothing else I can
+do.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+SAM: It’s a natural one.
+
+MATT: I think the signs are pointing in a
+direction. What are you doing, Nott?
+
+SAM: Yes, so movement and bonus, I will run
+towards Caleb, but not directly at the barbarian.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a lot of time.
+
+MATT: Beau, it’s your turn. You see Nott run.
+
+SAM: Let’s see, movement is 30. How far could I
+have gotten with just movement?
+
+MATT: With just your movement?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Right there.
+
+SAM: Ah, okay. Yeah, so that’s fine.
+
+MATT: Beau, you see Keg rushing to parley. What do
+you do?
+
+MARISHA: I say: Hey Keg– no wait, that’s your
+name– Hey Lorenzo, this one’s for Beau– no,
+
+fuck! I’m getting all my names fucked up because
+I’m so stressed out! This one’s for Molly and
+
+Yasha, because we failed on this before. I’m going
+to get it right this time. I’m going to take my
+
+tinderbox and light it, and I’m going to– right
+onto him, light him on fire.
+
+MATT: Okay, he’s going to make a dexterity saving
+throw.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, I’m touching him with it.
+
+MATT: I know. He fails.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: (flames erupting) Roll a d6 damage. He is on
+fire.
+
+MARISHA: d6 plus what?
+
+MATT: Just d6 fire damage.
+
+MARISHA: Four.
+
+MATT: Four points of fire damage. There’s now
+flames curling off of his body. He’s taking it.
+
+MARISHA: I take my staff and pure brute anger,
+right across his face.
+
+MATT: Roll for it.
+
+MARISHA: 12.
+
+SAM: Get out of there!
+
+MATT: (whoosh) He’s not even looking at you. He’s
+looking at Keg.
+
+SAM: Run!
+
+MATT: She has his attention.
+
+MARISHA: 18.
+
+MATT: 18 does hit.
+
+MARISHA: Six damage.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Run!
+
+MARISHA: I take my movement and go towards Caleb
+and Nott. Fuck.
+
+MATT: There’s a reflex for him to go ahead and
+take an attack of opportunity on you with his
+
+glaive, and then he flickers and looks back to
+Keg, seeming more interested in what she has to
+
+say. That ends your turn?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All right. Ruzza’s going to walk up.
+
+MARISHA: Didn’t you have a thing held for the
+sorceress?
+
+LIAM: The moment she does anything. That depends
+on how you want to interpret that.
+
+MATT: The moment she does anything, what were you
+going to cast?
+
+LIAM: Well, I meant do anything– I guess do
+anything to hurt us.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you’re watching her very
+carefully– She’s going to do it. She’s going to
+
+step up and cast Cure Wounds.
+
+SAM: (whispering) Oh, it’s a slave. They get a
+slave.
+
+MARISHA: They’re going to try and capture Molly?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Molly’s dead. Cure Wounds isn’t going to
+affect him. She reaches out and touches Lorenzo,
+
+and he heals up a bit. She starts to try and pat
+the flames out a little bit and he shoos her off.
+
+Now it is Lorenzo’s turn, because Molly doesn’t
+have a turn. Lorenzo’s looking at you and says,
+
+“Looks like we have an eye-for-an-eye scenario.”
+Points off at Dwelma, who at this point has bled out.
+
+MARISHA: She’s dead?
+
+MATT: We’ll say yes, she’s bled out at this point.
+“You say you want to be an example, huh?”
+
+ASHLY: Will you let them go?
+
+MATT: “Sure.” Puts his hand up, flames still
+curling up and burning his body, which, roll
+
+another d6.
+
+MARISHA: Another four damage.
+
+SAM: Use your teleport spell!
+
+ASHLY: I don’t have one!
+
+MATT: Puts his hand up with the glaive in the air,
+and you watch as all the other thugs looking off
+
+pull back their crossbows to the side. The
+barbarian in front of you, Caleb, this woman whose
+
+face is twisted in absolute rage, (panting,
+snarling), puts the hammer down. Lorenzo says,
+
+“We’re going to make an example of our old friend.
+Round up what you can. You walk with me, Keg,” and
+
+leads you back over to where the rest of you are.
+As the warrior steps back, still burning, takes
+
+and leads you here. They begin to move forward and
+push the carts, begin to push the log off of this
+
+to the side, and the warrior woman grabs the front
+of the cart where the horses were and begins to
+
+drag it forward. As it begins to pull away–
+
+LIAM: Isn’t one of them encased in ice?
+
+MATT: It’s a flash freeze, and then it goes away.
+It’s not like it keeps it there. As this one pulls
+
+forward, one of the thugs grabs the body of their
+druid and throws it over the top of the cart where
+
+she seems to vanish, except for a leg dangling out
+the side of the illusion. They go forward. Grabs
+
+your shoulder and pushes you down onto your knees.
+Do you do anything?
+
+ASHLY: No.
+
+MATT: Looks at the three of you. “The Iron
+Shepherds have a reputation, and I expect you to
+
+"tell everyone you come across what happened here
+today, and what a mistake it is to turn against
+
+"us.” Pulls the glaive back slowly and leans into
+your ear and says, “That’s a bit too quick. I want
+
+"you to live with the memory of what you did
+today,” and kicks you in the back and knocks you
+
+onto your face. Turns around, finally pats out the
+flames. “We’re moving on! If I see any of your
+
+"faces again– (chuckles) Well, at least you’ll be
+able to see your friend on the other side.”
+
+MARISHA: Fuck you, Lorenzo.
+
+MATT: “Fuck me, indeed,” and he turns and joins
+the rest of the caravan as it begins to pull back
+
+on the path, leaving the four of you beaten,
+bruised, and glancing off at the lifeless,
+
+bloodied body of Mollymauk Tealeaf. And that’s
+where we’re going to leave tonight’s episode.
+
+(exhales)
+
+ASHLY: Fun guest star.
+
+SAM: Wow, Ash.
+
+MATT: Uh, sorry!
+
+SAM: Good job, Ashly. Welcome to the game.
+
+LIAM: You have destroyed the show.
+
+ASHLY: Go ahead and see my way out!
+
+MATT: No, this is part of the game.
+
+SAM: No, it wasn’t all your fault, just mostly.
+
+MATT: That was a terrible convergence of events.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, bad shit happens.
+
+MATT: It does.
+
+LIAM: Bad shit happens to mediocre people.
+
+MATT: Wow. I’m going to sit down.
+
+SAM: Oh, boy.
+
+MATT: Well, thank you guys for sticking with us
+this long. I know it’s been a late night. Our
+
+return after a week off, and the drama has
+certainly kicked in. We’ll pick this up next week.
+
+Let’s use this week to love each other.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, don’t ream us for all the things we
+probably did wrong.
+
+MATT: No, please don’t. Everyone here is playing
+the game as best they can in the moment, and
+
+honestly, a lot of it was dice swings and a lot of
+it was circumstantial, and this is how the game
+
+works. It’s going to make for a great story, and
+will continue to, because you guys have one
+
+fucking villain now in your campaign. Oh, this is
+going to be delicious. Be kind to each other. We
+
+love you all very much. Let’s take a week to
+remember Mollymauk.
+
+MARISHA: There’s nothing we can do to bring him
+back, is there? There’s nothing we got.
+
+LIAM: Not with what we got.
+
+MATT: Not with what you got.
+
+SAM: I’ve got another vial of acid.
+
+MATT: On that note, once again, we love you guys.
+Have a wonderful week, and is it Thursday yet?
+
+Good night.
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
+Dungeons & Dragons. Before we get into it, first
+
+off I wanted to welcome back our fantastic Ashly
+Burch.
+
+SAM: Ashly Burch, everybody!
+
+ASHLY: Oh, hello. Thank you.
+
+MATT: It’s good to have you back. For those who
+missed the announcement on Talks Machina, she’ll
+
+be joining us for the next episode as well, and
+for our GenCon live show.
+
+SAM: And maybe more?
+
+MATT: We’ll see where it goes. I don’t want to
+take up too much of her time, but we’ll see where
+
+it goes. We will at some point this evening have
+another guest joining us, which we’ll introduce as
+
+she comes in. We have already announced her, so it
+doesn’t matter, why am I holding it back? Sumalee
+
+Montano will be joining us, but she’ll be coming
+in as the narrative requires. In the meantime,
+
+let’s get through some announcements. First and
+foremost, we have our fantastic sponsor for the
+
+campaign, our friends at D&D Beyond.
+
+SAM: D&D Beyond, everybody! As mentioned last
+week, the newly revamped digital character sheet
+
+for D&D Beyond has released. With improved desktop
+and tablet views, better at-a-glance information,
+
+all kinds of customization, and an updated PDF
+export.
+
+MATT: I’m really excited about that.
+
+SAM: As you guys all remember–not you; a couple
+months back, I asked you Critters out there who
+
+use D&D Beyond to write in and tell me about their
+D&D Beyond experiences. With the studio move and
+
+stuff, things got lost. Some of the letters got
+lost a little bit, or misplaced, but we found
+
+them. I’m going to read you some of the letters
+from the fans. They’re from a couple weeks ago.
+
+“Dear Sam, loving D&D Beyond. Just used their easy
+character creator to roll a brand-new character
+
+“after my favorite PC was tragically killed last
+week. I’m still really sad about it, but watching
+
+“your show is taking my mind off the loss. I love
+how Critical Role doesn’t remind me about that
+
+"death all the time.” Again, these are from a few
+weeks ago, so I haven’t–
+
+MATT: You’re such an asshole.
+
+SAM: “Dear Sam, my whole campaign uses D&D Beyond,
+and their new shareable links really help us play
+
+"faster. Side note: I love your interactions with
+Taliesin in this campaign! Don’t change that
+
+"dynamic, it’s perfect and I can’t get enough of
+it. Thank you.”
+
+MATT: Goddamn it, Sam. You’re the worst.
+
+SAM: “Dear Sam–” These are from a couple weeks
+ago, that is the premise.
+
+MATT: These are the truth!
+
+SAM: “Dear Sam, just signed up for a Master-level
+subscription at D&D Beyond, and all their content
+
+"is so cool! I’m enclosing a photo of a tattoo I
+just got; it’s my first and I’m very proud, as you
+
+"can see. That’s Nott and Mollymauk dancing
+together. I know it’s in cursive, so you might not
+
+"be able to read that they’re both saying, ‘We’re
+going to live forever!’ What do you think?” There
+
+was a picture included in that one.
+
+ASHLY: For my first action I kill Sam.
+
+SAM: Last but not least, we got an actual letter
+from the D&D Beyond corporation, which also got
+
+lost and found. It says, “Dear Sam: Hey, let’s
+refrain from anything sad or emotional in your ads
+
+"this week. We want players to associate our app
+with fun, not intense loss that might trigger
+
+"feelings of pain or misery. Keep it light! Do one
+of those dumb songs you write. Oh, and give our
+
+"love to Taliesin! He’s our favorite, and he’s the
+only reason we advertise on your show.” I could
+
+not have planned it because those are from weeks
+ago, Matt.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: I love that you “lost” the printed-out,
+e-mail letters in our move.
+
+SAM: Everyone used the same paper, stock, and
+font.
+
+ASHLY: They look really pristine.
+
+SAM: All right. One of them was fake.
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam. And thank you, our friends
+at D&D Beyond, and I’m sorry.
+
+LIAM: You’ve got to laugh.
+
+MATT: Moving on from that, as a reminder we are
+heading to San Diego Comic Con, like, in a day. As
+
+well as Ashly.
+
+ASHLY: I am.
+
+MATT: We’re going to be also at New York Comic Con
+in October, which we’re excited about. Our Comic
+
+Con panel is this Saturday, July 21st at 6:30pm in
+room 6BCF. We’ll air the panel next Tuesday in
+
+place of Talks Machina, so if you aren’t there at
+the event, you’ll still have a chance to see the
+
+panel next week, so look for that. The details are
+at CritRole.com. I will also be doing a cartoon
+
+voices panel that same day on Saturday at 1:00pm
+in the same room, 6BCF. Ashly, I believe you have
+
+something going on at Comic Con as well.
+
+ASHLY: I’m going to be moderating the final San
+Diego Comic Con Adventure Time panel, because the
+
+series is ending. It will be fun, but probably
+sad, but fun! It’ll be fun. I was told to keep it
+
+light. So I’m keeping it light. Then in the
+evening, I’m going to be joining the good, good
+
+boys of The Adventure Zone at their live show. So
+I’m getting my D&D fill.
+
+SAM: A lot of adventure.
+
+ASHLY: A lot of adventure, a lot of D&D. It’s
+great.
+
+MATT: Give the boys our love.
+
+ASHLY: I will.
+
+MATT: Awesome. Moving on from that. We have Talks
+Machina every Tuesday. Next week, you’ll be able
+
+to see the panel. The week after that, you’ll be
+able to talk about whatever next week’s episode is
+
+and this week’s episode together! Every Tuesday at
+7:00pm Pacific, here on Geek & Sundry’s Twitch or
+
+Alpha, where our fantastic host, Brian W. Foster,
+destroys our sense of well-being and worth of
+
+living. If you want to submit or email your GIFs
+and fanart, give them to submit@talksmachina.com.
+
+Currently only the US and Canada, excluding
+Quebec, are available for those giveaways because
+
+of weird laws. Check it out. A reminder that we
+have our Wyrmwood giveaways during the break of
+
+Critical Role, but they are back under the
+Critical Role Twitch stream. When we come to the
+
+break towards the middle of the evening, we’ll
+announce it, you move over to the Critical Role
+
+Twitch, twitch.tv/criticalrole, to be able to
+enter it then. Keep your eyes posted, and I will
+
+notify you as that comes about. That is all I’ve
+got as far as announcements, anyone have anything
+
+else they want to talk about?
+
+LIAM: I just want to procrastinate and prolong
+the–
+
+MARISHA: Mm-hmm.
+
+ASHLY: What’d you do today? What’d you eat for
+breakfast?
+
+LIAM: Busy day? Was it a busy day?
+
+MATT: You assume I ate breakfast. You assume I’ve
+eaten at all this week.
+
+ASHLY: Oh no!
+
+SAM: I’m sure if Laura were here, she would say
+there are still many Nott the Best Detective
+
+Agency T-shirts in the store. Are there? I don’t
+know.
+
+MATT: I don’t know, I should probably–
+
+SAM and ASHLY: Laura?
+
+SAM: Okay, she’s not here.
+
+LIAM: Travis, bring me pickles!
+
+MATT: That’s exactly what she’d be saying right
+now.
+
+ASHLY: Oh my god, that was a perfect Laura. I
+thought she was here!
+
+LIAM: Pretty spot on. I’ve known her a long time.
+
+MATT: All right then. That brings us into
+tonight’s episode of Critical Role.
+
+LIAM and SAM: (scatting)
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MARISHA: –you!
+
+MATT: Welcome back.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: (frustrated sigh) So?
+
+ASHLY: This is too much emotional emotional
+whiplash. Can you stand for the full four hours?
+
+SAM: I want to.
+
+MATT: No! Oh god!
+
+LIAM: Metal.
+
+MARISHA: I can see the wrinkles from where it was
+packaged.
+
+MATT: Okay then. Last we left off, The Mighty Nein
+were making their way northward across the
+
+northern side of the Marrow Valley, toward the
+city of Shadycreek Run, to fulfill the second of
+
+two jobs they had accepted from The Gentleman
+while they were in Zadash. Along the journey,
+
+while they were leaving Hupperdook in the middle
+of the night, three of their members had been
+
+taken. It was discovered in the morning when they
+were nowhere to be found, that they had been
+
+captured by a group of slavers traveling north
+back to the city of Shadycreek Run itself. Upon
+
+investigating the details of this capture, you
+encountered an individual coming up the road with
+
+a similar aligning interest, Keg. In discussing
+the means of traveling to find these individuals
+
+responsible, and discovering that Keg had
+information on them, you decided to travel
+
+together making your way around the Crispvale
+Thicket. Encountering a number of indigenous,
+
+insect-like creatures known as ankhegs near the
+long-abandoned farmlands that were once built in
+
+the outskirts of the forest. Camping inside, you
+encountered a few members of a firbolg village
+
+that had long existed, hidden from the world
+within this thicket that had been assaulted by
+
+these same slavers, known as the Iron Shepherds.
+You encountered an elder protector of this tribe,
+
+along with a boy who had survived this encounter,
+and were sent off on your way. Traveling northward
+
+on horseback, you managed to catch up and actually
+make ground on the Iron Shepherds. Comparing your
+
+intel, and through a few surprises as to what they
+were carrying, a plan was hatched to set an
+
+ambush, to halt them in their tracks, and assault
+them. Upon the plan taking off, things were going
+
+in your favor, but through a series of bad lucks–
+A bad lucks, the plural, it’s an actual English phrase.
+
+ASHLY: That’s how bad they were.
+
+MATT: They were bad. A series of moments of bad
+luck, and a too-late realization of the
+
+overwhelming power of the foe you faced, one of
+you fell. Mollymauk lies slain in the middle of
+
+the road at the hands of Lorenzo, the leader of
+the Iron Shepherds. Making an example, pushing Keg
+
+onto the ground, leaving her with the knowledge of
+what he perceives as her fault, to live with it;
+
+and to spread their name and the terror of what
+they do, and not to let anybody else get in their
+
+way. You all watched quietly, unable to really
+have a moment yet, to digest what has happened, as
+
+you see the carts slowly, quietly, make their way
+northward: out of sight beyond the hills, towards
+
+your eventual destination. And that’s where we
+begin. There’s a faint bit of snowfall that’s
+
+still coming down from the clouds above you there
+in the valley. The flurry, the storm that has been
+
+encroaching is not that far off. You look down
+past the somewhat-muddy tracks of the wheels of
+
+the carts that had headed away from you, your
+horses still stashed alongside the outer hills in
+
+which you had set this ambush. You look down to
+the bloodied, still body of Mollymauk, as the snow
+
+slowly begins to fall and rest upon his form.
+
+LIAM: Okay. I’m going to give us about ten minutes
+to figure out what we want to do here, and then I
+
+am sending Frumpkin out after them. We need to
+decide something now, because I am going to be out
+
+of it for a bit.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. We do need to decide something.
+Beau walks over to Keg, and grabs Keg by the coif,
+
+and tries to slam Keg into the ground.
+
+MATT: Do you resist?
+
+MARISHA: Did you think that maybe telling us that
+Lorenzo was a high fucking magic user would have
+
+been– Or are you still fucking working with
+them?
+
+ASHLY: I didn’t know! I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I
+didn’t know.
+
+LIAM: Beauregard, she would have told us. She
+wouldn’t have been able to hide it.
+
+MARISHA: Where is his fucking stupid tapestry?
+Where is it?
+
+ASHLY: They are going to Shadycreek. They are
+probably going to take them to The Sour Nest,
+
+that’s where they–
+
+MARISHA: I go, and I look. Is his tapestry still
+on her horse?
+
+MATT: Yeah, the tapestry of Bahamut is still
+rolled up and strapped over the back of one of the horses.
+
+MARISHA: I storm over to it and I rip it off the
+horse and I say: This is ours now. He was our
+
+fucking friend, he wasn’t your fucking friend.
+We’re taking this back.
+
+LIAM: I pull Keg up. This place they are going, is
+it permanent? Or a temporary camp, or it’s been
+
+there for years and this where they always are?
+
+ASHLY: It’s where they always are.
+
+LIAM: Do you know how far off we are from it now?
+
+ASHLY: How far is Shadycreek?
+
+MATT: About two days’ travel and it’s maybe a two
+hour journey into the forest north of Shadycreek.
+
+MARISHA: I go over to Molly’s body.
+
+ASHLY: This is pointless.
+
+SAM: What? What is pointless?
+
+ASHLY: They’re even more powerful than I remember.
+I didn’t even fucking know that Lorenzo could do
+
+that. You saw what he did, there’s no way. It’s
+fucked.
+
+MARISHA: I think she’s fucking right. How long
+have you been separated from these fucking assholes?
+
+ASHLY: (long sigh) Maybe a month, I don’t know.
+
+SAM: They learned to do that in a month?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: It’s not a lot of time to–
+
+ASHLY: They didn’t show me much. I’m clearly not
+very fucking bright, so there’s a lot I probably
+
+didn’t pick up on, but– I don’t know. I’m
+realizing I don’t fucking know anything about them.
+
+LIAM: How many people are in their camp, what did
+you call it?
+
+ASHLY: The Sour Nest is where the Iron Shepherds
+have camp.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+ASHLY: But I mean, Shadycreek Run is– It’s a full
+city.
+
+LIAM: Sure. What about The Sour Nest?
+
+ASHLY: I thought there were just five. I don’t
+know who those other two were. I don’t fucking
+
+know! Everything that I thought I knew about
+them– I don’t know.
+
+MARISHA: I search Molly’s body and look for the
+tarot cards first.
+
+MATT: Easy enough to find. You have to go through
+a few pockets on the inside of the jacket, but you
+
+eventually find where he keeps them.
+
+MARISHA: I take those and I keep those to myself.
+Take the amulet.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you have the periapt of wound
+closure.
+
+MARISHA: Toss it to Caleb.
+
+SAM: You’re just going to pick his body off?
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to take what his dead body
+isn’t using any more.
+
+SAM: But he woke up before, maybe we should leave
+it with him in case he needs it later.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to leave him with everything
+else. I don’t think we should take his sword.
+
+LIAM: What do we want to do?
+
+SAM: Caleb, she’s right, we can’t fight them.
+
+ASHLY: Cut your losses.
+
+MARISHA: Not without help, anyway. Did you guys
+just suddenly fucking forget that they took Yasha?
+
+They took Fjord, they took Jester.
+
+LIAM: That is what I’m talking about. Mollymauk is
+dead. Three are not, not yet, and we have invested
+
+a lot of time into forging this alliance we are
+in, Nott. I’m not proposing a head-to-head
+
+confrontation. Maybe. I want to know where they
+are, I want to know what conditions they’re in.
+
+I’m not willing to walk away from this.
+
+SAM: It would be the smarter bet.
+
+ASHLY: He’s not wrong.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck you both.
+
+LIAM: We could live, sure, we could live. We go
+hide in the woods. Go back to picking pockets and
+
+pulling scams on people. You know that I want more
+than that.
+
+MARISHA: Do y'all remember what Molly said a few
+weeks ago when he told us that he left every town
+
+better than what he found it? When he first told
+me that, I remember that my first initial knee
+
+jerk reaction was, “You fucking arrogant,
+narcissistic bastard, no one can fucking know
+
+"that.” He was an arrogant bastard, but he was
+right and do you know how I know? We had a
+
+conversation last night when we were up for watch,
+and he asked me what my greatest lie was and we
+
+pulled fucking cards for it. Loser would go first.
+He told me this story about tricking a town into
+
+thinking he was royalty, being a king, to pull off
+a scam. I was almost going to tell him about my
+
+childhood, and I didn’t. Because he told that
+fucking story and I realized: even in his scams,
+
+when he was doing something shitty, he was still
+making people feel good or feel special. The town
+
+was being visited by– graced by his presence, by
+his royal highness. And I told him this story of
+
+ruining a couple’s lives by extorting them because
+I fucking could. Because I fucking felt like it. I
+
+realized if I can deliberately leave a town
+shittier than what I found it, of course he could
+
+fucking leave a town better than what he found it.
+And I’m not going to do that again. I’m not saying
+
+that I’m going to go off and be a fucking hero,
+but maybe we can equal out and I can at least not
+
+fuck any more shit up. Take baby steps towards the
+leaving the town better… thing. That’s the least
+
+I can do for him. And I’m going to start with
+these fuckheads.
+
+ASHLY: I’ll take you there.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+LIAM: What are we going to do first? The man
+crawled out of a grave once, if he’s to be believed.
+
+MARISHA: Who the fuck is Lucien?
+
+LIAM: He’s done it once, maybe he will do it
+again. Do we stay here, do we try to find, I
+
+don’t– I’ve read of miracles.
+
+ASHLY: Look, you guys don’t have a lot of time for
+your friends. The ones that are captured.
+
+SAM: We should bury him, and leave some sort of
+marker–
+
+LIAM: A note.
+
+MARISHA: I’m assuming Shadycreek doesn’t have high
+level priests and the Empire and churches and
+
+stuff like that. Doesn’t sound like the type of
+place that has–
+
+ASHLY: One of the last places you’d find something
+like that.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: The only things that you would know of
+Shadycreek, from your experience, would be
+
+whatever miracle workers that would exist there
+are owned by the tribes, and weird tales of
+
+strange hermits that live in the forest beyond the
+city.
+
+ASHLY: Okay. But I haven’t met anyone directly.
+
+MATT: Not directly, no.
+
+LIAM: How many days’ travel are we from the
+beginning of this journey?
+
+MATT: From the beginning?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. From The Gentleman.
+
+MATT: Close to 17 or so days since you left
+Zadash.
+
+LIAM: We are in the middle of nowhere.
+
+SAM: Keg, no judgement or anything, but you sort
+of froze up in the little fight we had.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+SAM: When you say you can take us there, are you
+just talking about taking us there and dropping us off?
+
+ASHLY: I’ll take you there, I’ll help you through.
+I’ll do what I can.
+
+SAM: How do we know you won’t freeze up again?
+
+MARISHA: Or cut and run, like you said.
+
+ASHLY: The way you talk about Molly. I had a
+friend like that once, just one. They killed him,
+
+and I ran then, too. I left him behind: he’s the
+reason I’m here. I didn’t think I would do it
+
+again, but I did, I fucking froze up. I can’t
+promise it, but I promise that I’ll try. My life
+
+isn’t shit, it’s never been. It’s kind of the shit
+about meeting people that are actually kind is
+
+that you realize what a fucking nightmare your
+life’s been before.
+
+MARISHA: It’s funny how the good people can make
+assholes like us feel so small.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: You can get us there, though.
+
+ASHLY: I can get you there.
+
+LIAM: It does not need to be a frontal assault, we
+don’t need to throw our lives away.
+
+SAM: We can’t fight them! We can’t fight them.
+
+ASHLY: Here’s the thing about Shadycreek Run: it
+is a lawless town. If you guys have got coin, then
+
+people will fight for you. There isn’t a lot of
+honor there, but there are people that are willing
+
+to fight if they’re incentivized. There might be
+people we can gather, at least get intel, there
+
+might be ways of breaking them out, I don’t know.
+There are people there that hate the Iron
+
+Shepherds and there are a lot of fucking people
+there that are scared of them. It is a long shot.
+
+I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say it’s a
+suicide mission, but if you want to do it, if you
+
+want to go after them, they don’t run the town.
+There are people that could be swayed. But you’re
+
+going to need money.
+
+MARISHA: I go back over to Molly’s body and start
+finding his coin purse. He’s going to sponsor his
+
+own campaign to resurrection.
+
+MATT: Okay, on Molly you find 173 gold pieces and
+13 silver pieces amongst a cluster of other knick
+
+knacks and trinkets if you are so interested.
+
+MARISHA: Nott, want a trinket? To remember Molly
+by?
+
+SAM: Molly said not to steal from happy people.
+
+MARISHA: Is that what you think I’m doing?
+
+SAM: Nope. I think you should take everything you
+can, but I can’t steal from this one.
+
+MARISHA: I take the money.
+
+ASHLY: I don’t mean to rush you guys, but shit
+gets way worse once they get back to The Sour Nest.
+
+LIAM: I pull out the clay cat’s paw and cast
+Earthen Grasp and the cat’s claw forms out of the
+
+dirt and I use it to start digging a hole in the
+earth.
+
+MATT: Near one of the hills?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. As the cat’s claw starts digging down,
+I’m looking for– the glaive wasn’t left, right?
+
+He took it with him?
+
+MATT: No, he took it with him.
+
+LIAM: Sticks, branches, ja?
+
+MATT: There are branches to the tree that you had
+cut down, some of the logs that are there, there
+
+are some pieces of branch that could be utilized.
+
+ASHLY: You trying to make firewood?
+
+LIAM: No. I go to Molly’s body and begin to get
+the coat off him.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: The claw has about a minute, so hopefully it
+can dig something deep enough.
+
+MATT: I’d say given the size of the claw and its
+earthen attachment, it can make, in that minute
+
+that it has, a fairly functional hole.
+
+LIAM: Okay. I’m going to start to pull him into
+the hole.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s wrap him in his cloth.
+
+SAM: That’s a good idea. We certainly can’t carry
+it anymore; it’s very impractical.
+
+MARISHA: It was impractical the moment he bought
+it.
+
+SAM: Absolutely. It’s a terrible purchase.
+
+ASHLY: I step back and look away to give them
+privacy.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you guys carefully and respectfully
+take the tapestry of the Platinum Dragon, Bahamut,
+
+and use it to wrap him comfortably, the spell ends
+and the hole is complete.
+
+SAM: Are we leaving his swords? There’s one that
+can teleport?
+
+MARISHA: It’s a pretty awesome sword, from what I
+remember.
+
+SAM: Sure is.
+
+LIAM: I grab some paper out of my bag and I start
+writing a note to Mollymauk, telling him to find
+
+us through The Gentleman.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a good idea.
+
+SAM: Tell him his name, too. Or, ooh! We can make
+one up.
+
+MARISHA: (laughs) Mollymauk’s pretty unique
+and different. It’s a good name.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MARISHA: I take the swords.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Or, at least, is there one fancy one and
+one basic one?
+
+MATT: I mean, they’re both pretty fancy, but one
+of them is a brass, gold color. It’s the one that
+
+you had found not too long ago.
+
+SAM: That’s the one.
+
+MATT: The Summer’s Dance.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we’ll take that one. Summer’s
+Dance. We’ll give it back to him if he comes back
+
+to us.
+
+SAM: It’s a loan! It’s a loan.
+
+MARISHA: Well, and also, there might be grave
+robbers.
+
+SAM: Yeah, fuck those guys, right?
+
+MARISHA: Looters, yeah.
+
+LIAM: I take that note and I stick it into the
+lapel of the folds of his clothes, and I brush the
+
+hair out of his face, and then I start to push
+soil back over the body.
+
+MARISHA: I help him.
+
+SAM: Should we say some words or anything?
+
+MARISHA: Pour a drink?
+
+SAM: Sure. I’ll pour drinks.
+
+MARISHA: Long may he reign.
+
+SAM: Long may he reign.
+
+MARISHA: That’s the best fucking shit I got.
+
+LIAM: Shine bright, circus man.
+
+SAM: I think you’re supposed to say things about
+how good they were and how many people loved them,
+
+and what a wonderful life they had, but I don’t
+think any of those things are true, or at least we
+
+don’t– I don’t think he even knew.
+
+LIAM: Caleb sighs and takes a five-foot, six-foot
+sturdy branch, one that could be a walking stick,
+
+and I take that stone– that lucky rock that I
+found– and I start to hammer the branch into the
+
+ground so it is sticking up like a post, and then
+hang Mollymauk’s coat from it.
+
+SAM: That’ll be stolen, though.
+
+LIAM: Not right away. If he comes up out of the
+ground, it will be here waiting for him in a day
+
+or two.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe you should write another note and
+leave it on the coat that says, “Don’t fucking
+
+"steal this, you fucking looter assholes. Dead
+guy’s buried here.”
+
+LIAM: I think we will just leave the coat,
+Beauregard.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like a note could be very
+convincing, but that’s fair. All right, let’s go.
+
+SAM: Go after them?
+
+LIAM: Well, we do not have to decide what we are
+going to do right away. We could have an
+
+opportunity, grab our friends. We don’t need to
+rush into the lion’s den. Let’s see what we are
+
+looking at, what we are dealing with. We get our
+three friends back. We have not traveled with them
+
+this far to throw it away.
+
+SAM: To throw what away? I want to hear you say
+it. Why do you want to go after them?
+
+LIAM: Their deaths would be a waste.
+
+SAM: Wrong. Why?
+
+LIAM: Caleb storms off into the woods.
+
+MARISHA: Keg.
+
+ASHLY: Beau?
+
+MARISHA: Thank you.
+
+ASHLY: For what?
+
+MARISHA: I think we all would have been dead back
+there had you not made your offer, which you
+
+didn’t have to do. It’s noted.
+
+ASHLY: A bit too little, too late, but sure,
+yeah.
+
+MARISHA: What was your friend’s name?
+
+ASHLY: Yuto.
+
+MARISHA: No more running. For Molly and Yuto.
+Deal?
+
+ASHLY: Deal.
+
+SAM: If you run, we’ll kill you.
+
+ASHLY: That’s fair.
+
+SAM: Cool.
+
+ASHLY: Bad time to ask for a drink?
+
+MARISHA: Never a bad time.
+
+SAM: You deserve it.
+
+MATT: Caleb, you’ve stormed off, a bit around the
+way to the little bit of scrub and a few trees off
+
+to the side, where the horses are set. There’s a
+new horse standing there, one that wasn’t with the
+
+rest of your trio.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a spy!
+
+MATT: Medium brown in color.
+
+MARISHA: Kill it!
+
+SAM: (cooing)
+
+LIAM: I’m in the open right now with the horses,
+yeah?
+
+MATT: Yeah. It’s looking right at you.
+
+LIAM: The horse is? There’s no person around?
+
+MATT: No other person that you see, no.
+
+LIAM: I walk up to the front of the horse.
+
+MATT: It clomps up, meeting your step with each
+step you take.
+
+LIAM: Oh. Who are you, Freund?
+
+MATT: Its outer shoulders and well-traveled,
+muscled body begins to shift and change before
+
+you. Its form in some ways pulls in, others extend
+outward. Sumalee, if you’d like to join us at the
+
+table, please.
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: You said “Sumalee,” not “So Molly,” right?
+
+MATT: Right.
+
+MARISHA: That’s so Molly.
+
+MATT: Welcome!
+
+LIAM: Hi, welcome!
+
+ASHLY: Hi, Sumalee!
+
+SAM: Wow! You have to do a Mr. Ed voice.
+
+MATT: Make sure you scoot in enough for the
+camera, there.
+
+SUMALEE: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: We’re jumping in a bouncy funhouse over
+here! We’re having a grand old time!
+
+ASHLY: Oh, it’s just been a laugh!
+
+MARISHA: Just so great!
+
+MATT: If you’d like to describe what Caleb sees as
+the horse is no more, and there’s now a person
+
+standing before him.
+
+SUMALEE: I’m a firbolg. I’ve shifted into about a
+seven-and-a-half-foot tall firbolg. I weigh about
+
+200 pounds, and I’m wearing some
+Mongolian-inspired, almost like a shepherd. I have
+
+a round face, a wide nose. No pointy ears, though.
+My ears are soft, and floppy. I stand tall,
+
+strong. My shoulders droop a little forward. I’m
+looking with big, round eyes at all of you.
+
+LIAM: Hey, that’s a pretty good trick.
+
+SUMALEE: Thank you.
+
+LIAM: You’re out for a stroll?
+
+SUMALEE: I’ve been watching you.
+
+LIAM: Oh, gut. How long have you– You are very
+tall.
+
+SUMALEE: Not for my clan. I am just average.
+
+LIAM: Ja. Okay. Did you see everything that
+happened in here in the last 20 minutes or so?
+
+SUMALEE: I am sorry for your loss.
+
+LIAM: Hey guys, we have a visitor!
+
+MARISHA: I thought you were talking to yourself
+again.
+
+ASHLY: What kind of visitor?
+
+MATT: You glance over and you see the extremely
+tall female form of this firbolg; humanoid with a
+
+face that comes to a deer-like shape to the front,
+floppy ears, looming over, looking right at Caleb,
+
+who’s taking a step back and looking up towards
+her.
+
+ASHLY: Holy shit.
+
+MARISHA: Oh.
+
+LIAM: Um.
+
+SAM: Hi.
+
+SUMALEE: Hello.
+
+SAM: Ah!
+
+ASHLY: You all right, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Yes, I just was not expe– you know, we’ve
+been through– It’s been a long day.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you’re not like a shared
+hallucination, right?
+
+SUMALEE: No, I assure you, I am not.
+
+LIAM: You don’t have any holy abilities, by any
+chance?
+
+SUMALEE: I do not know this word “holy,” but I
+have abilities, which I might like to share with you.
+
+LIAM: Well, if you’ve been watching, we have just
+buried a friend of ours, maybe we were premature.
+
+Should we go dig him up?
+
+SAM: Can you bring dead people back to life?
+
+SUMALEE: No, I’m sorry.
+
+LIAM: That’s a stupid question from me, I
+apologize.
+
+SAM: It was worth a shot, right? I mean. You would
+have kicked yourself if you hadn’t asked and later
+
+she was like, “Oh yeah, by the way.”
+
+LIAM: She probably would have offered though, you
+know.
+
+MARISHA: We ran into a tribe on the way here, you
+wouldn’t happen to know an older woman named
+
+Jumnda would you?
+
+SUMALEE: Yes. She is my elder.
+
+SAM: They all know each other, I knew it!
+
+MARISHA: Nott, that’s–
+
+SAM: Do you know Pumat Sol?
+
+SUMALEE: No.
+
+MARISHA: (laughing) You’re terrible.
+
+SUMALEE: What did Jumnda say?
+
+MARISHA: She said a strong woman on a mission to
+go find her son, part of her clan, was heading
+
+north. Would you happen to be Nila? Or is it
+Ny-la? Am I pronouncing that right?
+
+SAM: It was Nila.
+
+MARISHA: It was Nila? Nila.
+
+SUMALEE: You had it right the first time.
+
+MARISHA: Nailed it.
+
+SUMALEE: I am Nila. It is nice to meet you all.
+
+SAM: It’s nice to meet you too.
+
+MARISHA: It’s nice to meet you.
+
+SAM: We met your friends. Family? Tribe? Clan?
+
+SUMALEE: All of those work.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: They told us that you’re trying to find the
+same people we are. I think? You’re trying to find
+
+these folks who kidnapped someone who you know?
+
+SUMALEE: I wasn’t sure if I could trust you, but
+seeing as how I saw what you went through, I could
+
+use a little help too.
+
+LIAM: Ja, how are you feeling about your chances
+now, after watching the bloodbath?
+
+SUMALEE: I think I might have some abilities that
+can help, but I knew I could not do it alone, and
+
+I saw you have abilities, too.
+
+MARISHA: On our good days.
+
+ASHLY: What abilities are you talking about?
+
+LIAM: She was a horse a moment ago.
+
+ASHLY: What?! You buried the lede there, Caleb!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SUMALEE: Did you not get that?
+
+ASHLY: No! I thought Caleb– I mean, he kind of
+talks to himself.
+
+SUMALEE: Right. I forgot. I was a horse.
+
+SAM: So we have an extra horse!
+
+SUMALEE: I can make other animal shapes, too.
+
+SAM: Ooh! Caleb can turn his cat into a bird!
+
+SUMALEE: Wow!
+
+LIAM: It is a little trick. Can you turn yourself
+into anything dangerous?
+
+SUMALEE: I think the most dangerous I can be is a
+crocodile.
+
+MARISHA: That’s pretty dangerous.
+
+SAM: We fought those. One almost killed me.
+
+ASHLY: Not the same crocodile, right?
+
+SAM: Was it you?
+
+SUMALEE: No! I never leave. This is the first time
+I’ve left my family.
+
+LIAM: Have you ever been in a fight?
+
+SUMALEE: Not really.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, great.
+
+SUMALEE: But I have other abilities that I might
+be able to use to help! There’s one in particular
+
+that I want to use against these evil people.
+
+SAM: You can curse in front of us if you need to,
+I mean.
+
+SUMALEE: What is this “cursing?”
+
+ASHLY: Oh god.
+
+SAM: I think you’ll pick it up if you hang around
+us for more than an afternoon.
+
+SUMALEE: Anyway, I have some abilities that I’d
+like to use on these bad people.
+
+ASHLY: Killing abilities?
+
+SUMALEE: Yes.
+
+ASHLY: Are you willing to kill?
+
+SUMALEE: Yes.
+
+ASHLY: Can you say the word “fuck” for me?
+
+SUMALEE: I do not know what it means, but “fuck.”
+
+ASHLY: Great, all right. Well, she’s got a little
+bit of edge.
+
+MARISHA: I like her. I like her a lot.
+
+SAM: Hardcore.
+
+SUMALEE: You do not understand what they did to my
+family. I am ready now.
+
+SAM: Please tell us. I mean, if it’s not horribly
+awful to tell.
+
+SUMALEE: I just want to say that I’m ready. I’m
+ready to do things that I’ve never done before. To
+
+use my abilities to get my son back.
+
+SAM: Son?
+
+ASHLY: I know I’m the proven coward of this group,
+but do we want an untested horse-person coming
+
+with us?
+
+SUMALEE: Why would you not?
+
+ASHLY: You saw the fight, right, lady?
+
+SUMALEE: Yes. I can help.
+
+ASHLY: It’s up to you guys. It’s your funeral.
+
+SAM: Your son has been captured?
+
+SUMALEE: And my partner. Jumnda, the lady you ran
+into, my elder, she told me not to come, not to
+
+leave. “Accept nature’s fate,” she said. But I
+cannot. I have been kind and peaceful and to
+
+myself many years. No more. You need me and I
+cannot do this alone.
+
+ASHLY: Need you?
+
+MARISHA: She’s kind of right.
+
+LIAM: Hey, over there is a tree stump on the side
+of the road. That’s the bald one. What do you do?
+
+MARISHA: Show us.
+
+SUMALEE: I will tell you because I cannot do it
+all the time, but when I am ready, I will summon
+
+lightning from the sky and fry him, destroy him!
+And I can do it again and again and again!
+
+LIAM: That sounds good.
+
+MARISHA: That sounds great.
+
+SAM: We’d appreciate that.
+
+ASHLY: So moving?
+
+MARISHA: Holy shit.
+
+LIAM: What time of the day is it?
+
+MATT: It’s early morning.
+
+SAM: Metal o'clock.
+
+MATT: Apparently!
+
+LIAM: The fight was in the early morning.
+
+MATT: The fight was right at dawn.
+
+LIAM: Right, okay.
+
+MATT: It’s maybe an hour after sunrise at this
+point, and the sky is still mostly clouded and
+
+becoming lighter. The flurry is coming closer,
+there is a gentle snowfall coming down at this
+
+early hour.
+
+SUMALEE: I can do the lightning trick any time of
+day.
+
+ASHLY: That’s good to know.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, good for me.
+
+SAM: Do you drink? Alcohol? Booze?
+
+SUMALEE: There are some tree saps, when left for a
+long time, they have a funny taste to them.
+
+Sometimes I taste that, but–
+
+SAM: Okay, more for us.
+
+ASHLY: Better not.
+
+LIAM: Can I borrow your flask, please?
+
+SAM: Yeah, sure, here.
+
+SUMALEE: So we will join together.
+
+SAM: If you’re going after your son, I trust you
+100%. What was his name?
+
+SUMALEE: Asar.
+
+LIAM: How old is your boy?
+
+SUMALEE: He’s only five.
+
+ASHLY: Jesus.
+
+SAM: Maybe that’s fully grown for a firbolg?
+
+SUMALEE: No.
+
+SAM: Okay. It was worth a shot.
+
+ASHLY: Good thinking.
+
+MARISHA: All right. We should keep heading on to
+Shadycreek then.
+
+SAM: Yes, we should.
+
+ASHLY: Anything else you want to, I don’t know, do
+for your friend?
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+MARISHA: No.
+
+ASHLY: All right.
+
+SUMALEE: May I suggest something? When someone
+dies in my clan, we know that their spirit never
+
+leaves. It just gets returned to nature, which is
+why we protect nature so fiercely. I have lost
+
+people before. I find ways to see them in nature.
+Sometimes the leaves on the trees– I pick one
+
+leaf and I know that it is a spirit waving to me.
+Your friend is here. He has not left.
+
+SAM: That is very lovely.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I’m going to go start mounting up
+the horses.
+
+MATT: You gather the last of your things, retrieve
+the horses, and head out.
+
+ASHLY: I’ll lead the horses, since I know where
+I’m going.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Yeah, we have three horses– oh wait, you had
+one too. Wait, did you? No, you were on foot. We
+
+had three left.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you had three left after the previous
+battle.
+
+ASHLY: I have to ride on one by myself.
+
+MATT: Correct. You guys can double up.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it was you two doubled up and I had
+one.
+
+SAM: You are probably going to have to share– Do
+you have a horse?
+
+SUMALEE: I can be a horse.
+
+SAM: Oh, you are a horse! Of course.
+
+SUMALEE: I can turn into a horse once more. But if
+I do, I think that is the last time I can do it today.
+
+MATT: Until you take a rest.
+
+SUMALEE: Until my next rest.
+
+LIAM: Horse nap.
+
+MATT: As you guys gather up onto your horses, Keg
+takes the lead and you all begin your trek
+
+northward once more. Both memory of Mollymauk
+behind you on one shoulder, and the image of the
+
+face of your vengeance before you. You continue on
+your journey for the next hour or so before you
+
+catch a glance, Keg, at the road above. You see
+three shapes in the road.
+
+ASHLY: Can I perception check it?
+
+MATT: Perception check.
+
+ASHLY: That’s a 13.
+
+MATT: 13? You get a little closer and you look and
+it looks to be three figures that are left in the
+
+road. People left in the road.
+
+ASHLY: Dead?
+
+MATT: Not moving.
+
+ASHLY: Guys, there’s something in the road.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, fuck.
+
+ASHLY: I can’t tell if they are dead from here.
+
+LIAM: I send Frumpkin up into the air as an owl.
+
+MATT: Swoops down and does a few loops over it and
+within a moment of scanning, can see it is three
+
+bodies. A human man appears to be in his forties,
+a younger half-elven man in his twenties, and a
+
+young human woman, probably in her twenties, early
+thirties or so. They are all slain, but there is
+
+no sign of traumatic wounds or any damage to their
+body, though they are damp.
+
+ASHLY: Damp?
+
+MATT: Damp.
+
+MARISHA: Is it snowing– Is there snow on the
+ground?
+
+MATT: There is snow on the ground. You can see
+there’s bits that are gathered on them.
+
+ASHLY: Why would they just be left in the road?
+
+SAM: Caleb has told us all of this?
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+SAM: I am going to scout up ahead and see if I
+recognize them.
+
+MATT: Okay, make a medicine check for one thing as
+you glance at the bodies.
+
+SAM: 12, plus zero.
+
+MATT: Not too bad. You recognize the man as the
+one you saw in the cage before you, and at a quick
+
+glance you can see elements of flash frostbite on
+parts of their skin. You gather they are probably
+
+the ones that were in the cage in front of you.
+
+MARISHA: Does it look like they tried to escape
+the cage?
+
+SAM: They were dead when the frost blast hit
+everybody.
+
+MARISHA: Then they dumped the bodies.
+
+ASHLY: Well given that he left them in the middle
+of the road– think this is his second warning?
+
+Third? Fourth?
+
+SAM: Or maybe he just wanted to move fast without
+extra weight.
+
+MARISHA: I think he just cares that little for
+human life.
+
+SAM: Well, we’ll cut out their tongues for food
+and then bury them?
+
+ASHLY: Nott, with the fucking tongues again, my
+man.
+
+SAM: What, it’s protein.
+
+ASHLY: Look, I know you’re weird, but if you could
+tone it down just a skosh.
+
+SAM: You don’t have to watch.
+
+ASHLY: I’ll hear it. You’re so loud.
+
+SAM: Fine.
+
+LIAM: I’m pulling the first of the three off the
+road to the side.
+
+ASHLY: I help.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll help.
+
+MATT: You manage to pull the bodies off the road
+into the grasses on the side.
+
+ASHLY: Nott!
+
+SAM: Don’t worry. There’s other tongues in the
+sea.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: You do know, Keg, looking at the road,
+you’re about at the point where you diverge from
+
+the path to follow up the road but continue on to
+Nogvurot, but to head to the Quannah Breach, and
+
+eventually Shadycreek Run, is due north from where
+you stand.
+
+ASHLY: Do I know of any ways to not go through the
+front gates? Is there any sort of circumventing I
+
+could do?
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, not without adding another
+week or so travel through the mountains.
+
+ASHLY: Ugh, okay. Never mind, then.
+
+MATT: It’s possible, but it’s a treacherous
+journey to move through the Dunrock Mountains to
+
+get there.
+
+SAM: When we arrive, they may have left word to
+look out for us. They know what we look like. We
+
+should have some sort of disguise. I know that you
+and I can disguise ourselves. You can–
+
+SUMALEE: I can too.
+
+ASHLY: Beau and I are SOL.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I have my cool reversible cloak.
+
+SUMALEE: I can make you disappear for a while.
+
+ASHLY: That would probably be good. How long?
+
+SUMALEE: One hour.
+
+ASHLY: How long does it take to get to
+Shadycreek?
+
+MATT: From where you are now, it’s a little under
+two days travel.
+
+SAM: When we get to the gates, we could maybe
+just–
+
+ASHLY: Slip in.
+
+MATT: You do know that just beyond the Breach,
+there is a gate that is guarded by one of the
+
+families of the tribes. There is a toll that’s
+taken as you pass through.
+
+ASHLY: Okay. That would probably be a good idea.
+
+SUMALEE: I can do that.
+
+ASHLY: Thanks.
+
+SAM: For you, we’ll find a fake mustache or
+something?
+
+LIAM: Are you able to do just one person?
+
+SUMALEE: No, I think I’m able to do–
+
+LIAM: Could you do the whole group?
+
+SUMALEE: Yes, I can, right?
+
+SAM: Right, God?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Is it Pass Without a Trace you’re looking
+at?
+
+MATT: That can help them hide if they want.
+
+MARISHA: Yes, so as long as we stay within 30 feet
+of you, we get plus ten to our stealth bonus,
+
+which would be very helpful.
+
+SAM: We don’t turn invisible.
+
+MARISHA: Correct.
+
+MATT: If anybody wants to hide, it does help out.
+
+SAM: You guys could hide under the horses or
+something.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: That’s badass. I like that.
+
+MATT: Keg leading on to the north, you diverge
+from the Glory Run Road, heading into the high
+
+grasses of the North Marrow Valley. You continue
+on for the better part of the day, taking breaks
+
+as necessary, and for you to recover your forms.
+You continue pushing on– not at a breakneck pace
+
+for fear of catching up to your quarry, but enough
+where you know at least you are keeping pace.
+
+Eventually the light of the sky begins to grow dim
+as the evening calls to you, at which point the
+
+flurry has come. The snow begins to get heavier,
+the darkness is darker than normal at dusk and the
+
+air gets bitter cold. What do you wish to do to
+set camp?
+
+SAM: Do we still have the tents? Did we keep the
+tents? We have the tents.
+
+LIAM: We’ve taken everything, yeah.
+
+ASHLY: Can I see through the dark with my night
+vision?
+
+MATT: You can see up to a 60-foot distance I
+believe, and it’s a dim light.
+
+ASHLY: Are there any structures around?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+ASHLY: 19.
+
+MATT: Pretty decent. The hills here– you don’t
+see any structures per se, but if you take a
+
+moment to walk around, you do see one hill that
+has a bank that is eroded, and there is a bit of
+
+an outcropping that may be about three or four
+feet outward. If you were to all crowd in, it
+
+might be able to prevent piercing wind and/or
+continuous snowfall, but it would be pretty cozy.
+
+ASHLY: Do you guys feel like cuddling?
+
+MARISHA: Share body heat, keeps us warmer.
+
+LIAM: Ugh.
+
+ASHLY: I’ll keep watch. I’m kind of wide, so
+you’ll have more room.
+
+SAM: Okay. Let’s cuddle.
+
+MATT: You guys gather up here on the underside of
+this outcropping of the hill. Who’s taking first
+
+watch? You, Keg? Make a perception check for your
+watch, please.
+
+MARISHA: Beau tries to get a spot next to Nila
+because she’s large and fuzzy.
+
+ASHLY: 15.
+
+MATT: Looking out towards the distance, as
+everyone else is silently sleeping in a cuddled,
+
+spoon-like position at times, you glance out and
+see a few shapes moving past. You see a few stars
+
+blink out as shadows move past. You quietly lean
+forward and begin to inspect and your eyes focus
+
+at the outset of your darkvision. You notice a
+small set of goats that are roving the plain,
+
+making their way. The snow is falling and they’re
+trying to find themselves to warmer climate.
+
+LIAM: Were-goats.
+
+MATT: You don’t know that.
+
+ASHLY. Dangerous, violent were-goats.
+
+MATT: You don’t find any other threat or anything
+during your watch. Next watch?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take it.
+
+MATT: Beau, make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Six total.
+
+MATT: Everything seems pretty kosher.
+
+MARISHA: I’m a little zoned out.
+
+MATT: During your watch is when the heavy part of
+the storm begins to hit. No thunder. It’s just
+
+very cold and you can see your breath, and you’re
+having to involuntarily shiver as the cold kicks
+
+in. You can see now the snow piling up and you’re
+thankful, at this moment, that you found this
+
+outcropping in Keg’s vision, because the distant
+hills that are open are now heavily piling with
+
+this soft, powdered snow. It’s starting to fall
+and the wind is pushing through and some of it’s
+
+hitting the left side of your face. It’s starting
+to go a little numb and you have to brush it off
+
+every now and then and try to do your best to dry
+up the biting cold water that is melting against
+
+your cheek. Nevertheless, your watch comes to an
+end without an issue. Who wants to take the final watch?
+
+SAM: I will.
+
+LIAM: You and me, goblina.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check for me, please?
+
+SAM: Oh boy. Four.
+
+MATT: Well, you’re lucky, because nothing of note
+happens during your watch. You are nervously
+
+keeping your eyes out, just in case, waiting for
+another reverse ambush, but nothing seems to catch
+
+your attention. As the morning comes to, because
+you guys managed to cuddle, I would like you all
+
+to make a constitution saving throw with
+advantage, please.
+
+SAM, MARISHA, and ASHLY: Cuddle-vantage!
+
+ASHLY: Oh, both terrible.
+
+SAM: Both for me, too.
+
+SAM: I rolled a two and a two, so four.
+
+MARISHA: Is this a saving throw or just a check?
+
+MATT: Constitution saving throw.
+
+SAM: I do have my winter clothes. I bought them.
+Just laying that out.
+
+MATT: I’ll say the winter clothes and the
+closeness of the group– sure. I’ll say you’ve
+
+avoided, in your hearty goblin form– You’re used
+to rough weather, anyway.
+
+LIAM: Sam, you’re bonier than Gollum.
+
+MATT: Keg, in full metal armor, not so much.
+
+ASHLY: I add my modifier though, yes?
+
+MATT: You do add your modifier.
+
+ASHLY: Then it’s actually 15.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’re fine. You shrug it off without
+issue.
+
+LIAM: 21.
+
+MATT: Caleb, your warm coat keeps you warm.
+
+LIAM: Hearty German living.
+
+MATT: Exactly. You’re used to these Zemnian
+nights.
+
+MARISHA: 12.
+
+MATT: That’s enough to withstand it, not a
+problem.
+
+SUMALEE: 21.
+
+MATT: While the forest definitely keeps insulation
+to the storm, your body is well suited for extreme
+
+weather as well. Actually– tricksy winter
+clothes, but you got it.
+
+SAM: No, you can–
+
+MATT: No, you got them for a reason. That’s what
+they’re there for. Because of the body heat and
+
+everything, I’ll allow it.
+
+LIAM: You’re like the little kid in A Christmas
+Story, “I can’t put my arms down!”
+
+MARISHA: So cute.
+
+MATT: As you guys continue your trek northward for
+the next day, you slowly push forward and watch as
+
+the rolling hills of this northern valley begin to
+even out. The high grasses growing dense and
+
+dusted with snow in the wake of this snowstorm
+that has passed through the night. It’s now this
+
+beautiful, ice topped wonderland before you. As
+the storm is past, breaks in the clouds begin to
+
+slowly emerge and show you glimmers of blue in the
+sky. With sunlight comes a welcome comparative warmth,
+
+and this dusted field of diamonds begins to slowly
+thaw over the midday’s journey. The looming peaks
+
+of the Dunrock mountain range approach closer,
+engulfing your horizon almost like a toothy jaw of
+
+some ancient titan that surrounds your peripheral.
+You can make out, as you get closer, the craggy
+
+break in the mountains ahead, familiar to you.
+It’s like a spiral fracture of a bone, where
+
+suddenly what was once a solid mountain range
+seems to have torn and sundered into two separate
+
+ravines that seem to share a similar shape. This
+you recognize as the Quannah Breach. You guys
+
+begin to approach, by mid to late afternoon, the
+front of the breach, where you can see six
+
+crownsguard in a small outpost built at the base
+of the Quannah Breach. These, as you know, are
+
+usually folks that essentially warn people from
+traveling into the Breach, and if they do, let
+
+them know that any return is going to be probably
+highly searched and highly inquired. They enforce
+
+it, unless you slip them some coin. Then it’s not
+an issue on the way back. They’re more there to
+
+make money.
+
+ASHLY: For appearances, yeah.
+
+MATT: As you approach, familiar to you, a
+crownsguard begins to put a hand up to the
+
+approaching horses and say, “Hail!”
+
+ASHLY: Oh, goddamn it.
+
+MATT: “Where are you traveling to?”
+
+ASHLY: Shadycreek.
+
+MATT: “You have business in these cursed lands?”
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, we’re trying to get fucked. Can we
+move along?
+
+MATT: “Well, your life is your own, as is your
+business, but you must understand that coming back
+
+"is no easy task. A thorough search and inquiry
+into your person will be required–”
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, blah, blah, blah. Can I give you a
+couple of coins and you let us on our way, please?
+
+MATT: “Very well.” How much do you give him?
+
+ASHLY: How little will he take?
+
+MATT: Customary to your experience and the times
+that you’ve traveled with the Iron Shepherds, it’s
+
+usually about two gold to just pass.
+
+ASHLY: Okay, yeah.
+
+MATT: He takes it and quietly lets you pass. Per
+person.
+
+SAM: Molly would want us to do this trip, maybe
+Molly should pay.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, Molly pays the toll.
+
+SAM: Thank you, Molly.
+
+MARISHA: Two, four, six, eight, ten. Love you,
+Taliesin.
+
+MATT: Well, eight, because she pays herself.
+
+SAM: Yeah, Molly wouldn’t want to pay for Keg.
+
+SUMALEE: Thank you.
+
+ASHLY: As he shouldn’t.
+
+SUMALEE: I have gold pieces I can use later, too,
+if you want them.
+
+ASHLY: You’re not going to want to spend any of
+that in Shadycreek Run. There’s nothing there for you.
+
+SAM: Why, they don’t take money? Oh.
+
+ASHLY: It’s just not a nice place.
+
+SAM: When you’re home with your people, are you
+one of the nicer ones, or are you a bad girl at
+
+home? What’s your– how does it–
+
+SUMALEE: I don’t know. I am one of the ones that–
+not too many people rely on me.
+
+SAM: They don’t rely on you?
+
+SUMALEE: No.
+
+SAM: Why?
+
+SUMALEE: I think I am– There was always some
+firbolg that was more powerful, stronger, smarter.
+
+More capable. Eventually I grew to accept being
+myself, and I prefer to support rather than be a
+
+leader. This is my first time trying to be more
+than who I am.
+
+ASHLY: Keg does one of these to her in support.
+
+SUMALEE: I do not know what that is, but I like
+it. And I heard you use the word “fuck” again.
+
+MARISHA: You know, maybe people don’t rely on you
+because you haven’t been given the chance yet.
+
+We’re certainly going to rely on you.
+
+SUMALEE: That makes me happy.
+
+MARISHA: It’ll be a good test run, at least, for
+you. Then you can go back to your tribe and be
+
+like, “Yo, people relied on me!”
+
+ASHLY: “It was dope!”
+
+MARISHA: “It was great, you should rely on me
+more!”
+
+ASHLY: “It was super tight!”
+
+MARISHA and ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know. They probably won’t sound
+like that.
+
+LIAM: I kick my horse along.
+
+MATT: As you travel through these winding ravines,
+choosing the one to the right, which you know to
+
+be the wider of the two, the low howl of the wind
+that’s traversing these sheared twisted walls,
+
+like a haunting, whistling, and moan sound. It
+accompanies the brush growing more dense. The air
+
+grows colder still, as white banks of snow and ice
+frame various ledges and outcroppings along these
+
+strangely curved and smoothly sheared cliffsides.
+It feels like a giant had grabbed a mountain range
+
+and tore it in two and there’s an even break on
+each side. It winds and curves. It’s like a
+
+natural labyrinth. A few miles through this
+strange maze, you’re met with a makeshift wall and
+
+a ten-foot wooden gate. Your eyes, at first,
+notice a few dozen wooden poles carved into spikes
+
+that emerge from the ground, pointed in your
+direction from the base, many of which are stained
+
+dark while others still bear the weathered skulls
+of warning. Three armored folk stand there; two
+
+human men and a half-orc woman all bearing weapons
+and watching you carefully as you approach.
+
+ASHLY: This isn’t the gate, right?
+
+MATT: This is the gate.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, it is?
+
+MATT: You’ve reached the edge of the Quannah
+Breach and turned to the final bastion outside of
+
+the Empire.
+
+ASHLY: But it’s not the gate into Shadycreek Run.
+
+MATT: It’s the gate into the region of Shadycreek
+Run.
+
+SAM: This is the gate we need to hide in?
+
+MATT: This is.
+
+ASHLY: But they see us?
+
+MATT: Well, they’ve noticed you begin to turn and
+approach–
+
+SAM: Quick, hide! Hide, quick!
+
+MATT: You would know this is coming because you’ve
+traveled this before.
+
+ASHLY: Okay, so we wouldn’t have turned the
+corner.
+
+MATT: I’m describing it as you– or you’re
+describing it as you’re about to turn the corner.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Rewind the tape just a little bit.
+
+ASHLY: (rewinds) So!
+
+SAM: So that’s just literally around this corner?
+
+ASHLY: Just right around– If we went even just a
+few feet that way, whoo whee! Guards, big old
+
+gate. It would have been– oh, man.
+
+LIAM: We were going at a pretty good pace there.
+
+ASHLY: You guys are lucky that I stopped just a
+few feet right before we would have all seen the
+
+gate. You’re welcome. You know, I’m really earning
+my keep here. So!
+
+SAM: So hide! Or something, right?
+
+ASHLY: The plan was you guys can make yourselves
+look different?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+ASHLY: Then you’re going to make us invisible and
+then you’re going to be a horse?
+
+SUMALEE: I can do that.
+
+ASHLY: I’ll get used to that eventually. Okay.
+Cool.
+
+MARISHA: You guys are going to have three horses
+and then two riders.
+
+ASHLY: Do we have stuff to put on the third horse
+to make it look like a pack?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. We could just take everything off our
+horses and gather it.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Yeah?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: We’ll hide under the horse like Indiana
+Jones-style, basically? Holding on underneath?
+
+Okay, that’s going to take some grip strength, but
+I’m into it.
+
+SAM: Wait! Maybe if one of our horses is a pack
+horse, you could be on top of the horse wrapped in
+
+a blanket or something. You’re part of the gear
+that the horse is carrying.
+
+MARISHA: Do they search you on the way in?
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+ASHLY: Do they search us on the way in?
+
+MATT: Depends on if you pay them on the way
+through.
+
+ASHLY: We’ll have to pay them.
+
+SAM: We can pay.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah. I think this one’s a little bit more
+expensive, though. Isn’t it? Probably. The deeper
+
+we get in? Or is it the same?
+
+MATT: You know that the previous gate– Generally
+you don’t have to pay them, the one you entered?
+
+It just helps you with “no questions asked” issue.
+This is the gate run by the Uteloch family of the
+
+tribes and they enforce it both as a means of
+making money and to know who’s coming and going.
+
+ASHLY: Mm-hmm. Okay.
+
+MATT: So it’s an equal price to what you were
+paying previously.
+
+ASHLY: We should definitely pay it, though.
+
+SAM: Which plan do we want? You hiding under the
+horses or you hiding on the horse as suitcases?
+
+ASHLY: I can hide under the horse.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll hide as suitcase. I’ll be a bundle.
+
+LIAM: We lie you over the horse and we put a bunch
+of shit on top of you, yeah?
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Then you are going to do some sort of horse
+magic that makes us– sorry, I’m unclear.
+
+Invisible or–?
+
+MARISHA: More stealthy.
+
+SUMALEE: You are invisible to people. To others.
+
+SAM: I believe that.
+
+SUMALEE: You don’t have to change shape.
+
+ASHLY: It might be helpful so there’s not–
+
+SAM: You can make us totally invisible.
+
+SUMALEE: I think so!
+
+MARISHA: You give us a bonus to our stealth.
+
+SAM: Ask your god.
+
+LIAM: You cannot.
+
+SUMALEE: Aw.
+
+LIAM: But what you can do, it’s still useful
+here.
+
+MARISHA: Is it makes us more hideable.
+
+LIAM: If the people who are hiding try to look
+like– covered in cloth and shit and try to look
+
+like cloth–
+
+SUMALEE: It’ll pass.
+
+LIAM: You can make it more believable.
+
+MARISHA: You know the blanket in Lord of the
+Rings?
+
+SUMALEE: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: The cloak–
+
+SUMALEE: On the raft.
+
+MARISHA: It’s like that.
+
+SUMALEE: Got it. I will turn the blankets into–
+
+MARISHA: Rocky things. Sounds good.
+
+LIAM: This whole pow wow was happening around the
+bend.
+
+ASHLY: Guards are like–
+
+SUMALEE: Wait, what happens after we get through,
+though?
+
+SAM: Then we can do whatever we want.
+
+LIAM: No, we keep going for a while–
+
+ASHLY: It will be a little bit of a ride.
+
+LIAM: Keep up appearances. Yeah? You’re going
+carry these two. They’re both going to lie on top
+
+of your horseback.
+
+ASHLY: I can’t be on a horse. Just me. I’m too
+heavy.
+
+LIAM: Too heavy?
+
+ASHLY: I’ll break her. Right? Because I can’t–
+
+MATT: A single horse you can do.
+
+ASHLY: A single horse I could be on. It couldn’t
+be me and Beau. Or me and one of you.
+
+LIAM: She’s like all sticks, though.
+
+MATT: With Beau it’s possible. Not at a full run,
+but at a travel journey, you could probably do it.
+
+MARISHA: Or I could be a pack on one of your guys’
+horse.
+
+LIAM: She could be on our horse.
+
+SAM: Yes, yes.
+
+LIAM: Because you and I are skin and bones.
+
+ASHLY: I’ll be on top of you, if that’s okay.
+
+SUMALEE: That’s fine.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+SUMALEE: And I will make you Pass Without a
+Trace.
+
+MATT: In this shady ravine, just as it comes to an
+end before entering this next valley, the shadows
+
+seem to coalesce and cling to you and where
+previously the light itself is shaded and dim.
+
+It’s almost like you’re stepping through
+moonlight.
+
+MARISHA: Almost like?
+
+MATT: Well, meaning like looking at those of you
+in the radius, it’s like it’s nighttime where
+
+you’re standing. The shadows are heavier. The
+blacks are crushed.
+
+ASHLY: We’ve both got stuff on top of us to make
+us look like–
+
+MARISHA: Mm-hmm. I’m wrapped in a bedroll.
+
+LIAM: Ja I mutter a few words and suddenly look
+like an old coot with a band of hair around the
+
+sides and my jaw is off to the side a bit and it’s
+missing a few teeth and very squinty. That’s me.
+
+MATT: Like Robert Duvall, good.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s it.
+
+SAM: I will mutter a few words and turn into–
+
+ASHLY: What was this drawing back here?
+
+SAM: Oh, which one?
+
+ASHLY: Penis man.
+
+LIAM: Stop the game! What’s the drawing? Hold it
+up.
+
+ASHLY: Sorry, out of character. Excuse me.
+
+LIAM: Let’s see!
+
+SAM: It’s a dick man with a drink.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: It was a me and Laura collab.
+
+LIAM: Somebody was talking, having a moment. Then
+you draw a dick man.
+
+SAM: I’ll make myself look like Rissa.
+
+MATT: Okay, perfect.
+
+SAM: Because I know that one.
+
+LIAM: Rissa and Robert Duvall.
+
+MATT: Those of you who are trying to be
+inconspicuous, which would be Beau and Keg, go
+
+ahead and make general stealth checks.
+
+MARISHA: Plus ten, right?
+
+ASHLY: Come on, baby. That’s not great. Nine.
+
+MARISHA: Add ten to your roll your plus stealth.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, 19.
+
+MATT: That is what the spell does.
+
+ASHLY: I see.
+
+MARISHA: It’s not good for me either. 21 with the
+buff.
+
+SAM: Thank god for the buff.
+
+ASHLY: Woo!
+
+MATT: Okay, as you guys turn the corner, you now
+see the gate and the spikes and the warning skulls
+
+and everything.
+
+SAM: It’s not as good as you described it.
+
+ASHLY: I don’t know a lot of adjectives. I’m not a
+great storyteller. I said it’s a gate and there
+
+are people there. What else do you need to know?
+You need the fucking colors and the designs.
+
+SAM: You had smells and you had shapes and
+everything, but this is–
+
+LIAM: Shut the fuck up!
+
+MATT: As you approach, the half-orc steps forward
+and goes, “Hey, you! Where you headed today?”
+
+SAM: Shadycreek Run.
+
+MATT: “Well, you pass through the breach, you pay
+the toll.”
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LIAM: Yes, we have that.
+
+MATT: “Good. Pay up.”
+
+SAM: How much?
+
+MATT: “Two gold each.”
+
+LIAM: Oh yeah. Okay.
+
+SAM: You know what? I’ll get it. Don’t even look.
+I got this one. Here you go, four from me.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s good.
+
+MATT: “All right. Let them in!” She steps back in
+line with the two other they pull the two gates
+
+and pull open as the wood clacks against the sides
+of the gates. You all make your way through as the
+
+guards watch as you pass in. For a nervous moment,
+you see the eyes pass over the two other riders,
+
+but make no issue as you continue inward. You hear
+the gates (clunking) behind you. Now, looking
+
+ahead, you can see the curvature of the ravine
+opens up into a widening valley. You see a
+
+limitless forest of climbing pines, spruce-like
+trees, only the common green you expect stands
+
+instead an unexpected purple-gray in color. This
+wide blanket before you of this deep valley of
+
+fading purple and gray color at the tops of theses
+trees. Along the tree line, you can see a
+
+sprawling and matted line of snow-capped
+buildings, hovels, and mud-covered streets that
+
+vanish into this dense forest. The city does not
+keep the normal cohesive shape of most, instead
+
+being a long line built along the tree edge and
+some sort of river or creek that it has been
+
+constructed against. It is a weird, crooked, long
+town that vanishes into the branches and leaves.
+
+You’re no longer within the Dwendalian Empire.
+Welcome to the Greying Wildlands.
+
+SAM: The Greying Wildlands.
+
+MATT: And to the lawless town of Shadycreek Run.
+Anything you wish to do before you head to the
+
+city proper?
+
+ASHLY: We’re still obscured, Beau and I?
+
+MATT: Obscured in the sense that you’re
+inconspicuous in dress.
+
+ASHLY: Right, but that’s still happening? That
+spell is for an hour? Okay.
+
+LIAM: Do you have any place where we can lay up?
+
+ASHLY: There are two places I would recommend.
+There is this place called the Plaza Emporium. A
+
+pleasant but can be murderous dragonborn runs
+that. She’s not affiliated with any of the
+
+unseemly folks directly, so she’s a bit more
+neutral. We might be able to get information from her.
+
+LIAM: Does she murder everybody or does–
+
+ASHLY: Only people who piss her off, so be on your
+best behavior. The Landlocked Lady is a brothel.
+
+We might want to cover Nila’s eyes. It’s run by
+the Marduns, who happen to be–
+
+SAM: That’s who we’re looking for.
+
+ASHLY: And they are the rival family of the folks
+that employ the Iron Shepherds.
+
+SAM: That seems like where we should go, because
+the Iron Sheps won’t be there to poke around and
+
+find us.
+
+LIAM: That is correct.
+
+MARISHA: What is the name of that place again?
+
+ASHLY, LIAM, and SAM: The Landlocked Lady.
+
+ASHLY: The proprietor is kind of a skeeze ball, as
+you would imagine. Not necessarily the most
+
+trustworthy guy, but it is run by the Marduns. So
+of the safe places in the town, that’s probably up there.
+
+LIAM: Are you still laying across the back of a
+horse or have you pulled yourself up?
+
+ASHLY: I have a little opening that I made for
+myself.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLY: It’s just my face with a cigarette still.
+
+MATT: This little–
+
+SAM: Our horse is smoking.
+
+MARISHA: Amazing.
+
+SAM: I vote Landlocked Lady.
+
+LIAM: Of course.
+
+MARISHA: (muffled) I agree.
+
+SAM and MATT: All right.
+
+SAM: Lead us there with smoke signals.
+
+ASHLY: That way.
+
+MATT: A short ride you eventually hit the outside
+of this township. Walking into the main street,
+
+you can see they’re slick with mud and dirty snow.
+Ragged peasants clutter the alleyways, looking
+
+your way with hands extended for some sort of alms
+they’re hoping to find.
+
+LIAM: (spits)
+
+SAM: Ugh, gross.
+
+MATT: An emaciated dog growls at you from a nearby
+doorstep and then darts off down the road behind
+
+where you passed. A wagon appears stuck in the mud
+as you pass it, rough-looking folk tugging at it
+
+and stopping to stare you down as you slowly move
+past. They continue their work. You nearly step
+
+over someone with your horse who appears to be
+passed out, face down in a patch of dirty snow. A
+
+bit of crimson rests at their side. They’re not
+moving. As you circle around them you watch as two
+
+rough-looking fellows in hide clad armor come and
+inspect him. As you glance over your shoulder, you
+
+watch as they rummage through his pockets, lift up
+his not moving body and dump him in one of the
+
+nearby alleys and keep on walking. You see no
+Crownsguard.
+
+SAM: Oh man.
+
+MATT: This is the first town any of you have been
+in that has no watch. No law keepers. The road
+
+doesn’t go far north from where you enter as most
+of the town is this long stretched bar, so within
+
+15 minutes you’ve hit the plaza. The central plaza
+to the town that you know as the Clover Plaza. You
+
+see log benches dotting the open area, while a
+four story tower of motley colored stones stands
+
+vigil over the area. Two balconies and a top,
+housing crossbow and longbow wielding roughnecks.
+
+You know these to be Taskers. You’re heading
+towards The Landlocked Lady? Easy to see. On the
+
+eastern side of this plaza, there is a very
+beautiful, two story complex, that comparably
+
+seems ostentatious against the buildings
+immediately to the right and left of it which look
+
+to be in serious disrepair and rather rundown and
+colorless. Just bland woods, gray and brown. Here
+
+you can see the second story above the main archway,
+a curved top arch, there is a false bow of a
+
+ship that is emerging outward. This beautifully
+carved mermaid in the front that is clutching the
+
+piercing front of the ship. There it rests with a
+sign dangling from it, saying The Landlocked Lady.
+
+MARISHA: I totally get the name of the place now.
+
+SAM: It’s a consistent brand.
+
+MARISHA: It’s very clever.
+
+LIAM: In Zadash, it would look like shit, but here
+it’s the belle of the ball.
+
+MATT: Comparably, yes.
+
+MARISHA: It seems that they don’t have a strong
+housing code. They can get away with these more
+
+unique builds. It’s very fascinating.
+
+SAM: Sure, it’s really interesting architecture.
+
+MATT: It’s like Shanghai, China; everything looks
+different.
+
+ASHLY: How far away are the Taskers? Did we just
+pass by them?
+
+MATT: You’re skirting around the outside of the
+main Tasker tower. They’re scattered around, and
+
+as you guys are walking around, you see most of
+the people that live in the city are in absolute
+
+squalor and are here out of necessity, are here
+because they came seeking some sort of fortune and
+
+failed, or they’ve come to indulge in vices that
+have slowly crushed them. The other half of the
+
+populace are usually armored to some extent,
+whether it be patchwork hides, chain, leathers.
+
+Almost everyone here is armed, even on a scale of
+poverty there seems to be a general sense of
+
+needing protection amongst the chaos. Some folks
+look like they’re trying not to be seen, many
+
+parade their thickened arms. You see one female,
+privateer looking individual, that comes through
+
+the streets and spits on somebody who’s huddled by
+one of the stumps. Growls at them before
+
+continuing to walk on. It’s a very unique and
+curious motley group of people that call this
+
+place home.
+
+ASHLY: If I talk to them will I be heard?
+
+MATT: If you talk to–?
+
+SAM: Us.
+
+ASHLY: If I talk to the crew?
+
+MATT: No one’s close enough to you, you think, if
+you’re quiet enough.
+
+ASHLY: I point out the Tasker tower behind us and
+I say: Those are the Taskers. Those are probably
+
+the only other people in this shithole that might
+be of use.
+
+SAM: Of use? They’re good guys?
+
+ASHLY: As much as anyone’s a good guy here. They
+try not to get– they try to prevent the innocent
+
+from getting killed or fucked over. Obviously,
+they’re not particularly successful, but they’re
+
+not under the thumb of any particular group.
+
+LIAM: Are they altruists though or are they
+mercenaries?
+
+ASHLY: It’s altruistic, strangely. I kind of
+forgot about them because we always thought they
+
+were nerds. But now I’m trying to be a little bit
+better. They might be helpful.
+
+SAM: Do they have a uniform, or how do you know
+them? How do you know who they are, how can you
+
+identify them?
+
+MATT: What you can tell about the Taskers is they
+wear chain shirts with one leather shoulder
+
+pauldron that is painted blue. I say painted blue
+because most of their uniform is whatever they can
+
+put together to create some sort of consistency.
+There is no built uniform. What you’re used to
+
+seeing with Crownsguard, and any other royal
+military where things are built with fine
+
+craftsmanship, everything here is put together and
+slapdash. That one uniform mark is usually the
+
+chain shirt and the one blue shoulder armor. Some
+people paint it completely, some put a line on it
+
+and leave it there like a, “Fuck you, I’m not
+going to finish it.”
+
+SAM: They’re like Hell’s Angels.
+
+MATT: Kind of. For the most part, they’re keeping
+an eye out in the sense that they don’t want
+
+complete anarchy.
+
+ASHLY: They still want money for their services,
+but they’re slightly less assholeish than the most.
+
+MATT: They’re not going to stop someone from
+spitting on a peasant, but if all of a sudden a
+
+giant riot breaks out, they will break it up and
+beat everybody up till it stops.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: It’s kind of cool.
+
+ASHLY: Closest thing to law that exists here.
+
+SAM: Okay, thank you. (louder) Thank you, horse,
+for riding us this far!
+
+SUMALEE: I can’t say anything, right, in my horse
+form? I can nod.
+
+LIAM: (horse huffing)
+
+MATT: You do keep your mental stats in beast form.
+I’ve seen it argued back and forth, and I’m pretty
+
+sure when we had you in your elemental form last
+campaign, people were saying that you could still
+
+technically talk in that form.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, but I didn’t talk as animals. I
+wasn’t talking.
+
+MATT: That’s right. You’re unable to actually
+speak in the animal form, but you can still communicate.
+
+MARISHA: As elementals I was like: Run! Jump! Oh
+shit!
+
+SAM: That’s what you are like now.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: I reverted, that’s all.
+
+LIAM: Keg, if we find an alleyway to drop you out
+of sight of you suddenly appearing, can you walk
+
+around this town, or is that dangerous?
+
+ASHLY: In some places it’s dangerous. There’s a
+place called The Trench that the Iron Shepherds in
+
+this area always hang out in.
+
+SAM: The Trench?
+
+ASHLY: The Trench. It’s in this area. It’s not a
+huge place, right?
+
+MATT: It’s a fairly decent sized tavern. It’s one
+of the more populated areas.
+
+ASHLY: That’s where they hang out.
+
+MATT: Every now and then.
+
+LIAM: How stupid is it for you to walk up on open
+road in this place?
+
+ASHLY: I think it’s probably best for me not to
+be.
+
+SAM: Let’s go in the brothel. We’re here, right?
+We can stay here, or we go in here? Do I have to
+
+fuck somebody in there?
+
+ASHLY: Why are you worried about this? They would
+be worried about having to fuck you, my man.
+
+SAM: I’m a lady.
+
+ASHLY: My lady. I call everyone my man.
+
+SAM: But yes, you’re right. You’re right, that’s a
+fair point.
+
+ASHLY: If any of the Marduns are there, we might
+be able to– to be honest guys, there’s not a lot
+
+of options, but we might be able to get some help
+from them. I don’t know for sure. In any case,
+
+it’s a place to regroup. This brothel is not in
+the business of spilling everybody’s secrets out.
+
+SAM: Let’s go in.
+
+LIAM: Ja, one second, though. Which way from
+here are these Iron Chefs located?
+
+ASHLY: They’re north of this, yes, Matt? The Sour
+Nest is?
+
+MATT: The Sour Nest is northeast of where you are
+in the city. It’s beyond this city, into the
+
+actual Savalierwood. About maybe two hours’
+travel.
+
+LIAM: Two hours’ travel?
+
+SAM: That’s their headquarters, right?
+
+MATT: Beyond the city. The northern half of the
+city is almost entirely within the forest itself.
+
+LIAM: Okay. In that direction?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: It’s in the walls of the city, or in city
+limits?
+
+MATT: No, The Sour Nest is beyond the city. It’s
+its own little stronghold that exists separate
+
+from the city itself.
+
+LIAM: Can you describe to me what it looks like?
+Is it noticeable?
+
+ASHLY: God? What does it look like?
+
+MATT: It’s noticeable. It’s half a mansion, half a
+small stronghold. It has gates around it, heavy
+
+walls that have spears atop them.
+
+[wheels rolling]
+
+MATT: Hey, you’re in a town.
+
+SAM: Yeah! The caravan just came by.
+
+MATT: It’s two story, and there’s a subterranean
+basement floor to it. They do have hired guard
+
+that keep watch on it while they’re away, and
+occasionally while they’re there. I can eventually
+
+provide you with a layout, because you would know.
+You’ve been there a number of times.
+
+[clomping]
+
+SAM: I love it! It’s so good.
+
+SUMALEE: That’s was me expressing my happiness.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLY: It’s up to you. We can go up there now if
+you want.
+
+LIAM: No, I do not want to go up there now. I was
+thinking of maybe sending my cat, but that can
+
+wait. Let’s go into this place.
+
+MARISHA: Is it safe for me and Keg to hop out
+without it looking shifty?
+
+MATT: There is an alley off to the side that if
+you wait for a moment for nobody watching, you
+
+guys would be able to step out.
+
+MARISHA: We do that.
+
+MATT: You have the opportunity to revert, if you
+wish.
+
+SUMALEE: I actually feel safer in my animal form
+in this crazy place.
+
+SAM: You’re going to– (shouting) You’re going to
+stay in the alley while we go inside?
+
+SUMALEE: All right.
+
+MARISHA: I think horses have regular hearing.
+
+SAM: Nope. They’re mostly deaf.
+
+SUMALEE: I will shift back to my regular self. You
+make a good point, but this place is not making
+
+Nila happy.
+
+ASHLY: I apologize in advance for all the shit
+you’re about to see. I open the door.
+
+MATT: As you guys hitch the horses to one of the
+hitching post off to the side, you make your way
+
+into the brothel. And that’s where we’re going to
+take a break.
+
+SUMALEE: Phew. Nila’s like: Thank god! Let me
+regroup!
+
+MATT: We’re going to take a little break here.
+We’ll be back here in a few minutes, guys. The
+
+giveaway we have today, we have a Bolivian
+rosewood Hero Vault, with Celtic knot. It looks
+
+pretty awesome. It’s magnet-based, and has your
+character vault. You can put your minis in it. You
+
+can put your dice in there. It’s awesome. Go on
+and head on over to the Critical Role Twitch chat,
+
+that’s twitch.tv/criticalrole during the break and
+enter the keyword “revenge.” Only enter it once.
+
+Any more than that and you’re disqualified from
+the giveaway.
+
+SAM: Forever.
+
+MATT: Forever! No, but we’ll come back from the
+break with a winner here for you guys, and we’ll
+
+see you here in a few minutes.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome back! First, we
+have our winner for the break. The winner is
+
+Wundur. W-U-N-D-U-R. Wundur, congratulations.
+Chandra will whisper you and get your information
+
+and get that sent out to you. Well done. Getting
+us back in. As you guys step through the archway,
+
+the double doors opening as Keg pushes and leads
+you inside. The first thing that hits you is a
+
+fresh smell of lavender, a vanilla incense that
+strikes your senses, stinging your eyes with its
+
+potency. On the inside, you can see a handful of
+round tables of which two patrons are currently
+
+eating a meal that has been placed before them.
+
+ASHLY: I really thought you were going to say
+something else.
+
+SAM: Eating a dead body.
+
+MATT: Possibly, or a live one. You can see candles
+that are placed at the center there, these fine
+
+silks have been placed. It’s such a stark shift
+from the dreary and generally muck-covered
+
+exterior of this city, to step into what seems
+oppressively luxurious. Though the closer you
+
+look, everything is frayed at the edges.
+Everything seems to have been here for a while or
+
+seems to have been weathered through travel or
+use. The immediate shine begins to fade as you
+
+begin to see how much of this is probably a fair
+amount of work to keep the upkeep of the facade of
+
+luxury. To the left of you, you can see a carved
+window-like bar or a desk and there behind it you
+
+can see a human man, probably in his late 30s. His
+hair, very short, and the male pattern baldness is
+
+just starting to set in. You can see a bit of the
+shine of the back of his head begin to poke
+
+through. He has a very well kept handlebar
+mustache that curves out very wide to each side of
+
+his face, and a pointed Van Dyke matching beard
+point that comes to the bottom. He has a vest over
+
+a light green billowing shirt that has a wide
+collar that curves out to the sides. As you enter
+
+and take in, he immediately glances over to meet
+your gaze and goes, “Why hello everyone, glad you
+
+"could make it. Welcome! Welcome to the Landlocked
+Lady. How could I be of service? Oh, you are a big one!”
+
+SUMALEE: I am.
+
+MATT: “Wonderful, are you looking for work?”
+
+ASHLY: No, she’s not.
+
+MATT: “No worries. Well, you’re here for a reason,
+I presume. Do tell me what do you seek? We have
+
+"rooms for rent, companionship to join as well.
+What do you seeking?”
+
+MARISHA: We’ll need all of that above and a little
+bit more.
+
+SAM: Well, I mean not the companionship.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve had a hard week
+
+SAM: Oh!
+
+MARISHA: What were you saying?
+
+ASHLY: Champ, right?
+
+MATT: “Yes? Do I know you?”
+
+SAM: Champ?
+
+MARISHA: Champ? His name’s Champ!
+
+ASHLY: Maybe? His name’s Champ. Told you it was a
+shitter! Yeah, you might know me. Hey, are your
+
+bosses around bosses around by any chance?
+
+MATT: “My bosses?”
+
+ASHLY: The people that actually own this place, I
+know you like to pretend.
+
+MATT: “Are you referring to–?”
+
+ASHLY: The Marduns.
+
+MATT: “The Marduns are not around here today.
+They are at the Estate Sybaritic.”
+
+ASHLY: What?
+
+MATT: “It’s their estate, its where they live.”
+
+MARISHA: Sybaritic?
+
+LIAM: Sitaritic?
+
+MATT: Sybaritic.
+
+ASHLY: Do I know where that is?
+
+MATT: You’ve passed by it, you’ve never been
+there.
+
+ASHLY: Is it an insight to see if he’s lying?
+
+MATT: Yes, you may.
+
+ASHLY: Fuck! Critical one.
+
+MATT: He’s a shifty motherfucker, and you’re not
+entirely certain he’s telling the truth or not,
+
+but seems honest enough. “Lord Anselm does pass
+through on occasion, but he’s not here today. The
+
+"rest of them I’m sure are busy with their own
+business, but if I see any of them, I could ask,
+
+"see if they’re being summoned by– what is your
+name?”
+
+ASHLY: It’s, um–
+
+SAM: The Mighty Nein?
+
+ASHLY: I’m trying to come up with a fake name.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+ASHLY: Rick.
+
+MARISHA: Nailed it.
+
+ASHLY: Rick is my name.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLY: Really? You’re not going to let that slide?
+19!
+
+SUMALEE: Rick it is!
+
+MATT: Plus?
+
+ASHLY: 19, yeah.
+
+MATT: “Rick? Very well. I’ll make a note. If this
+is pressing business, you are more than welcome to
+
+"attempt to summon them at the estate, as I know
+not how often they pass through, but in the
+
+"meantime, you said you wished rooms and company?”
+
+SAM: Yes, we’ll need rooms for sure.
+
+MATT: “How many?”
+
+ASHLY: Give us a second there, Champ. I don’t
+really feel like I want to stay around this guy
+
+that much longer. Do you guys want to go to this
+estate, or do you want to stay here?
+
+SAM: The estate? What would we do there?
+
+SUMALEE: I do not like this man.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, that makes two of us, Nila. I don’t
+know; that’s where the Marduns are. You were
+
+looking for them anyway, right?
+
+SAM: We’re looking for one of their family, but we
+don’t know enough to march up there and say, “Hey,
+
+"we’re looking for your daughter.” We don’t even
+know if it’s a daughter, or a niece or something.
+
+I don’t know.
+
+MATT: All the information that you have from The
+Gentleman is that an individual named Ophelia
+
+Mardun, who is a friend of his, he sent you up to
+give her aid with a problem that she’s having.
+
+SAM: We don’t know if she’s on the outs with her
+family, if they’re the ones who had her killed or
+
+kidnapped. We don’t know anything. We’d be
+marching into a big question mark.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we’ll get lucky, and the problem
+she wants help with is the Iron Shepherds. Two
+
+birds with one stone, we win. Still going along
+with that plan.
+
+ASHLY: (laughs) The plan has not changed.
+
+MARISHA: Has not changed.
+
+ASHLY: It’s the same plan.
+
+MARISHA: The Molly problem was a hiccup. Seems
+kind of cold. Anyway.
+
+ASHLY: You’re working on it.
+
+SUMALEE: I have something I’d like to do now. In
+these moments, I have a little bag of treasures
+
+that I smell. They’re little treasures that I
+collect along the way of things that are
+
+significant and meaningful to me. If I smell it,
+it tells me what the experience will be like. If
+
+we leave this man and go to this Ophelia Mardun,
+let me see what my smell check does. Okay?
+
+SAM: It’s like telling a fortune, but with
+smelling things. All right.
+
+MARISHA: That’s pretty crazy.
+
+ASHLY: Is she just getting high?
+
+MARISHA: She might be.
+
+MATT: Nila pulls up this small pouch with a
+leather flap on the front, and pulling it open
+
+there is, within a moment, a pungent smell that is
+a mixture of earthy, almost mossy scents, mixed
+
+with spice, mixed with rotted vegetation, mixed
+with a bad cheese. It’s a plethora of smells, and
+
+they come in waves. She buries her nose into this
+for a second and takes a huge (sniffing).
+
+SUMALEE: Do I know what I sense, or will you tell
+me what I sense?
+
+MATT: Make a wisdom check.
+
+LIAM: This is what she does in brothels?
+
+SAM: I don’t know if she knows what a brothel is.
+
+MATT: Add your wisdom modifier.
+
+SUMALEE: 17. Oh no, wait. 14.
+
+MATT: The smell comes into you, and amongst the
+barrage of various smells, you catch a rosy, sweet
+
+smell that cuts through the rest.
+
+SUMALEE: Yes. We should go to see this Ophelia. It
+will be a good outcome.
+
+LIAM: You have had a lot of luck predicting things
+with this stink pouch?
+
+SUMALEE: Oh, yes. It is not stinky, though. You
+may smell it, if you wish.
+
+LIAM: What do I smell?
+
+MATT: Make a wisdom check.
+
+LIAM: Oh, that’s pretty good. 19.
+
+MATT: You get a faint whiff of sawdust that
+quickly shifts into a very old, molded, after a
+
+rain leather.
+
+LIAM: Oh, well, yes, I’m convinced. We should
+definitely just march up to the estate.
+
+ASHLY: Wait, I want a hit! It’s not going to go
+well.
+
+SUMALEE: I did not know that this works for
+others.
+
+ASHLY: Oh yeah, it’s a nine.
+
+MATT: As you get close–
+
+SAM: (fart noise)
+
+MATT: You don’t even get that close to it. You
+have a fairly strong sense of smell, and while
+
+some smells in your experiences of the world have
+put you aback, you can’t even describe this
+
+odorous musk that hits your nostrils, causing your
+entire face to wrinkle and recoil.
+
+ASHLY: Never mind, I was wrong! We shouldn’t go!
+
+MATT: At this point, Champ, who has leaned
+forward, watching this, goes, “Out of my
+
+"curiosity, I’m now invested. Might I have a sniff
+as well?”
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Everyone’s sniffing your bag!
+
+SUMALEE: It is filled with so many wonderful
+things. I promise you. Wait a minute. I do not
+
+want him to smell this.
+
+SAM: She doesn’t want you to smell her bag.
+
+MATT: “I didn’t want a piece of the stink pouch
+anyway.”
+
+SUMALEE: I’m sorry.
+
+SAM: It’s something you have to earn. Maybe
+tomorrow.
+
+SUMALEE: Wait, let me smell. Oh, all right. Here.
+
+MATT: (sniffs) “No, no. Lesson learned.” His eyes
+start watering. “Would you like a room for the
+
+"night? What are your preferences?”
+
+SAM: Maybe we should get a room or two. That way,
+if everything goes wrong, if we’re indeed going to
+
+go to this estate, then we could at least have
+somewhere to crash.
+
+MATT: “I must warn you, if it’s more to a room and
+you require a companion, the group rates are a bit
+
+"more expensive.”
+
+ASHLY: He means slumber parties. If we all want to
+have a nice rest together, just sleeping, it’s
+
+more money.
+
+SUMALEE: We have that in my clan, too. We all set
+up a huge nest of leaves and sleep together.
+
+MATT: “Are you sure you’re not looking for work?”
+
+SUMALEE: No.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we shouldn’t stay here. What time
+of day is it?
+
+MATT: At this point, it’s almost dusk. You guys
+have traveled the better part of your second day
+
+to even get here.
+
+LIAM: Well, perhaps we don’t want to show up on
+these people’s doorstep as the sun is going down.
+
+Why don’t we spend a night here? You were looking
+for some companionship. You can work on that.
+
+SAM: We can ask around. Maybe the clientele might
+know some things about the Sheps.
+
+ASHLY: That’s not a bad idea.
+
+LIAM: Sure, we can talk to the clientele. Maybe
+you should hang back.
+
+SAM: I think I fit in in this town, but they might
+recognize me.
+
+LIAM: How do you mean?
+
+SAM: No, I mean, the Iron Shepherds know my face,
+but it seems like there’s so many weirdos in this
+
+town that, I don’t know. No one seemed to be
+looking at me funny when we walked in. Oh, wait, I
+
+was dressed as a gnome, that’s why. Never mind.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: To be fair, this isn’t The Iron
+Shepherds’ hideout, we said, right?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s outside of the city, into the
+woods.
+
+MARISHA: Seems like they wouldn’t come here. Rival
+family.
+
+ASHLY: Is it safe to say that they keep to
+themselves?
+
+MATT: For the most part, yeah. They only come into
+town to occasionally drink and essentially parade
+
+dominance. Every now and then checking in to
+assert their reputation, and if they have to do
+
+other bits of dirty work. They are slavers by
+normal trade, but they do other things for the
+
+Jagentoths, if need be.
+
+ASHLY: They wouldn’t feel it necessary to tell
+anyone else about us?
+
+MATT: You’re not entirely certain. It depends on
+if they assume they’re being chased, or they feel
+
+like the demonstration was enough, but you don’t
+know.
+
+ASHLY: All right.
+
+SAM: Spend the night here, then?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I think so. We’ve been traveling all
+day. We stay here, we get up. We don’t know
+
+anything about where the Shepherds– We know
+nothing about their stronghold, just what you’re
+
+able to tell us, but that doesn’t tell us how many
+people are there now, what we are going to be up
+
+against. We talk to the Marduns tomorrow, figure
+out the next step from there.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, let’s formulate a plan in the
+morning. I can’t think right now. I’m a little out
+
+of it.
+
+ASHLY: All right. Champ, she sleeps alone. No
+funny business, all right?
+
+MATT: “Of course not. I have a business to run.”
+
+SUMALEE: Thank you.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take a room for myself, please.
+
+MATT: “All right. For a singular room rate for the
+night, that will be one gold, five silver.”
+
+MARISHA: I arrange for companionship and drinks.
+
+MATT: “Any preference of companion? We have a
+spectrum to choose from.”
+
+MARISHA: It feels weird going and picking someone
+out. That feels dirty.
+
+MATT: “Would you prefer it a surprise?”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Just make her hot, please.
+
+MATT: “Her. That is a preference. Very well.” Goes
+and writes something down. “Can be done. For a
+
+"night’s companionship, do you wish just for an
+evening’s stay, or for the night over?”
+
+MARISHA: No, just an hour, and then I want to be
+alone, please.
+
+MATT: That will be an additional five gold
+pieces.
+
+MARISHA: All right. Then I get really drunk, and I
+go to my room for the night. Send up booze.
+
+MATT: “An additional five silver. Just racking up
+the tab, then.” The rest of you?
+
+SAM: We’ll have a room by ourselves.
+
+MATT: “The four of you?”
+
+SAM: Oh, no, I mean–
+
+SUMALEE: I don’t mind staying with you.
+
+ASHLY: No, we’re fine, just sleeping.
+
+MATT: “Very well, suit yourself, but I’ll be here
+for most of the night, if you change your mind.”
+
+ASHLY: Unless– No judgment if you want to–
+
+LIAM: No, we have been together a long time, so
+we’re used to–
+
+ASHLY: Oh, you’re together.
+
+LIAM: Sure.
+
+SAM: Not like that.
+
+ASHLY: Oh. Okay. I was going to say I think you
+could do better, but anyway.
+
+LIAM: I don’t know if that was called for at all.
+
+ASHLY: Sorry.
+
+SAM: No, you’re absolutely right. He is handsome,
+and he could do much better than a little
+
+freakshow like me. He could meet any girl in town
+and sweep her off her feet.
+
+LIAM: Shush. This one and myself will take one
+room.
+
+ASHLY: I’ll go with Nila, then.
+
+MATT: “All right. Two per room, that’s two gold
+for the group rate, so four gold for the two
+
+"additional rooms, please.”
+
+LIAM: I will handle the two gold for Nott and
+myself.
+
+ASHLY: I’ll do the two gold for us.
+
+MATT: “All right.” He gives a key to each of you
+for each room.
+
+SUMALEE: Thank you. I was going to give it for us,
+but next time.
+
+ASHLY: No problem.
+
+LIAM: Oh, boy.
+
+SAM: What? Do you have any gold left?
+
+LIAM: Sure, I’m good.
+
+ASHLY: Sorry, Nott. You’re a great gal. It’s the
+occasional tongue-eating, is mostly what I was
+
+referring to.
+
+LIAM: You know, maybe quit while you’re ahead.
+Nott, come on, let’s go upstairs.
+
+MATT: You guys all scatter to your separate
+chambers and find yourselves a, as restful as it
+
+can be given the events recently, night’s sleep.
+Beau, drunkenly, you have enough consciousness to
+
+recall eventually a knock at your door.
+
+MARISHA: Oh. Right. I open the door.
+
+MATT: Standing there, you see an amber-skinned
+elven woman, a little older than you, with very
+
+bright, almost platinum hair that is pulled up
+into a high ponytail that drifts past the
+
+shoulders, seeming a very sheer negligee.
+
+MARISHA: Uhh… Hi.
+
+SAM: Looking up the spell?
+
+LIAM: No, something else. You’re good. Go on, get
+it on.
+
+MARISHA: What’s your name?
+
+MATT: “Vorsah.” She pushes you in the room and
+closes the door.
+
+MARISHA: Okay!
+
+MATT: Cut to black.
+
+SUMALEE: Nila was going to cover her ears.
+
+LIAM: You’re probably nailing a 250-year-old!
+
+MARISHA: Hot!
+
+SAM: Oh, elven aging! Cougar!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, exactly!
+
+MATT: (singing) Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson. The
+morning eventually comes, some of you more
+
+hungover than others, but as you come to and
+gather yourselves and wash for the coming day, you
+
+hear the sounds of almost broken roosters outside.
+They call: this horrible, terrible– It’s a harsh
+
+north this side of Wildemount for these poor
+birds.
+
+LIAM: Welcome to Deadwood!
+
+MATT: This is very much the Deadwood of the
+continent. You can already hear the town coming
+
+alive outside; the occasional shouts– you’re
+unable to make out the words, but the morning has
+
+definitely kicked in. You gather your things and
+make your way down to the bottom floor where Champ
+
+is not currently there. There’s somebody else–
+looks to be a younger man, probably in his late
+
+teens, early 20s. He appears to be half-elven,
+with this curly mop of bright-red hair on the top
+
+and a smile, and he’s currently going through a
+ledger of some kind.
+
+ASHLY: Do I recognize him?
+
+MATT: You do not.
+
+SAM: His name is Rex.
+
+SUMALEE: Rick and Rex.
+
+LIAM: Before going down with Nott and Caleb, I
+would say when we get up: We need to talk for a
+
+minute, okay?
+
+SAM: Listen, you should just forgive Keg, she
+doesn’t know that she was being insulting. She’s
+
+rough around the edges– and she’s right, you
+could do better than me. Look at this. This is a
+
+mess. I mean, the teeth.
+
+LIAM: I don’t care about Keg or any of that. I
+want to talk about what you and I are doing.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LIAM: I was this close to running off from that
+road when things turned on us. You and I, we are
+
+going to survive together. That is the main
+thing.
+
+SAM: Why didn’t you run?
+
+LIAM: The dwarf stepped up. (snaps) Changed my
+mind like that.
+
+SAM: Changed your mind because we had extra help,
+or–
+
+LIAM: Whatever she said to him, he left.
+
+SAM: Oh, the danger was passed.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Mm-hmm.
+
+LIAM: But we have done a lot and you know what I
+am about.
+
+SAM: Of course I do, yes.
+
+LIAM: So I just want you and I, you and me
+especially, to be on the same page because we have
+
+been for months now, ja? You are my friend, I
+want you to be with me, and I want us to live. We
+
+have done a lot with these people, and if we can
+finesse this and do it in a way that does not
+
+throw our lives in the fire, there is more to be
+achieved. We will help you get to where you want
+
+to get, and myself, together. We will work
+together with these people.
+
+SAM: I know that you want revenge for what that
+man did to you, and there’s things I want too,
+
+but… Mollymauk was amazing. Showed me something.
+He had this spirit of life that was pretty
+
+outstanding. You know, he was the moment that we
+all traveled together. He came up, and we were all
+
+talking, and all cagey, and all iffy with each
+other when we met all these folks but he said,
+
+“Hey, want to come see a circus show?” and that
+lit the spark, right?
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+SAM: But before that, it was– All I’m saying is,
+he was a rainbow man who represented life at its
+
+fullest, and that’s what I want. Even more than
+what we were going for before. Together, we’re
+
+sort of living life now, aren’t we? Before, we
+were in the darkness. So I know we have things to
+
+do, and I want to do them. But the reason I want
+to find these people and rescue them is not to use
+
+them, and it’s not because we’ve invested time in
+them, but it’s because I love them. We need to
+
+find them and rescue them because we’re a team
+now. So if you’re just using them or whatever,
+
+that’s fine and I’ll support you; but I want to
+find them so that we don’t go back to the way it
+
+was, when we were hiding in the shadows and
+ducking into alleys to get away from people. We
+
+were safe, but we weren’t really alive, right?
+With these people, we’re having fun and winning
+
+contests and killing bad guys and rescuing
+children, and it’s amazing. I hope you’re with me
+
+on that, and I hope we are on the same page.
+
+LIAM: I like them.
+
+SAM: That’s a good start. I think they like you.
+
+LIAM: We are not hiding anymore. Well, not like we
+used to. There is a certain amount of risk to what
+
+we are doing. And what I want is good, for more
+people than just me.
+
+SAM: I know it is, and I want it for you. We’ve
+used a lot of people in the past and I just want
+
+to make sure we’re not using these folks. Are we?
+
+LIAM: Well, we are about to risk our lives to pull
+three people we met four or five weeks ago out of
+
+the hands of a lot of dangerous people. Seems like
+a pretty good offer for them.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+LIAM: I don’t have any family; you’re the closest
+thing that I have. I have come to rely on you and
+
+I am grateful for your company.
+
+SAM: I couldn’t do this without you.
+
+LIAM: Well, let’s screw our courage to the
+sticking place and get them out of there.
+
+SAM: Yes. Let’s get them home, and let’s kill
+Lorenzo. I have an idea. I know my last one didn’t
+
+go so well, but listen: we can’t fight these
+people. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again,
+
+but what we can do is exactly what they do. They
+go out and pick off people one at a time. Why
+
+don’t we start doing that to them? Follow them,
+track them, see where they go home at night, and
+
+just pick them off one at a time. The weaker ones
+first, and by the time Lorenzo knows what’s
+
+happening, he’ll be scared out of his mind.
+
+LIAM: He would get more defensive with time. I
+don’t know. We don’t know enough. I would like to
+
+find out where he sleeps.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Head-on, I agree, not a good idea. We will
+take a roundabout way. Let’s figure out what we’re
+
+talking about first.
+
+SAM: All right. To breakfast.
+
+LIAM: I invite her in.
+
+SAM: I’ll nestle in.
+
+LIAM: I don’t even say anything, just a firm hug.
+Let’s go down.
+
+MATT: As both Nila and Keg have enjoyed a decent
+meal, not as much as you’d expect for the money
+
+that was paid included for the evening’s stay, but
+a meal nevertheless.
+
+MARISHA: Hotel prices. What?
+
+LIAM: Sex bacon.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Eventually Caleb and Nott make their way
+down to join you.
+
+ASHLY: When Keg sees Nott, she pulls out a piece
+of paper and some broken spectacles and says, Nott?
+
+SAM: What’s this? What are you doing?
+
+ASHLY: I’m sorry I said that you were not good
+enough for–
+
+SAM: Why are you wearing those things?
+
+ASHLY: I’m trying to apol– just give me a second!
+I’m sorry I said you were not good enough for Caleb–
+
+SAM: Did someone tell you to do this?
+
+ASHLY: You’re very nice– I’m trying to be nice,
+just give– this is as painful for me as it is for
+
+you, just give me five seconds!
+
+SAM: Sure, sure.
+
+ASHLY: I’m sorry I was mean.
+
+SAM: Can we get some hash browns or something?
+
+ASHLY: You may be kind of weird, but you’re also
+nice.
+
+SAM: I don’t think there was a verb in that
+sentence.
+
+ASHLY: I am sorry, and when you aren’t eating
+tongue, you’re sort of cute. Love, Keg.
+
+SAM: Okay, so, a few things.
+
+ASHLY: Do you have notes?
+
+SAM: I mean, you don’t need to sign it if you’re
+saying.
+
+ASHLY: I don’t know, I was writing it! I didn’t
+know if I was going to say it to you or give it to
+
+you, so I panicked and I– I’m sorry.
+
+MARISHA: Beau comes down the stairs, hearing the
+end of it, and just goes (applause)
+
+ASHLY: Thanks, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: I could learn a few things from you. That
+was a good apology. Damn good.
+
+SAM: Apology accepted. Don’t worry about it, I
+have a thick skin about this stuff, and I know I
+
+haven’t put my best foot forward with you. We got
+off on a wrong foot. To a brighter tomorrow!
+
+ASHLY: That was much more eloquent than mine was.
+
+SAM: I just made that up, I didn’t even have to
+write it down.
+
+ASHLY: You didn’t even have to write it down?!
+
+SAM: No.
+
+ASHLY: Fuck, I’m so bad at this. And then she
+shoves bacon in her mouth.
+
+MATT: All right, so what’s your plan?
+
+LIAM: (long sigh) We are going to go and meet
+the Marduns.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+LIAM: We are going to ask for Ophelia Mardun.
+
+MARISHA: I have a feeling maybe her business has
+something to do with the Iron Shepherds as well.
+
+LIAM: Maybe.
+
+ASHLY: We can hope.
+
+MARISHA: Do you know anything about any of the
+families here?
+
+SUMALEE: I do not. Nila would like to gather these
+goodberries and, on the way out, give one to each
+
+of those horrible sounding roosters.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Perfect.
+
+SUMALEE: They need help.
+
+MATT: As Nila’s out there healing the roosters and
+you’re leaving, the young, curly red-haired
+
+half-elven proprietor at the front leans forward
+and says, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to intrude, but
+
+"whatever it is you’re after, good luck and I hope
+you’re on the right track.”
+
+ASHLY: Who the hell are you?
+
+SAM: That’s super weird. He seems like a nice,
+normal person here.
+
+MARISHA: Is it a female?
+
+MATT: “Sorry, I’m Keelyn. I take the early shift
+here–” It’s a man. Vibrant green eyes. “But I’ve
+
+"overheard you’re going to see the Marduns. Just
+listen carefully.”
+
+SAM: Listen carefully?
+
+MATT: Listen carefully.
+
+SAM: Like while we walk there, we should listen?
+
+MATT: As you listen and talk with them.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+LIAM: Oh. Not right now, but when we are– ja.
+
+MARISHA: Well, I imagine we should also be
+listening carefully right now, as well as then.
+
+MATT: “That works as well, but–”
+
+SAM: What’s wrong with them? What should we know?
+
+MATT: “Nothing. They’re gracious employers, I enjoy
+my time here, but just listen carefully. I’m
+
+"trying to help, that’s all. Good day! Be off, be
+off!”
+
+SAM: No, I know, but why? We haven’t paid you–
+okay.
+
+LIAM: It’s very enigmatic, but we will– okay.
+
+MATT: “Good luck.” Takes a little glass of tea and
+sips it.
+
+ASHLY: Can I do an insight check on him to see if
+he’s sketchy?
+
+MATT: Yeah, go for it. He’s pretty sketchy.
+
+ASHLY: I mean, yeah, but sketchy in the– well,
+eight. Like is he trying to fuck with us.
+
+LIAM: Where are your 20s, Ashly, where are your
+20s?
+
+ASHLY: I know, I wasted them all!
+
+MATT: It’s hard to read. He seems forthright
+enough, but also guarded. It’s hard to tell.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+SAM: How long have you been working for the
+Marduns?
+
+MATT: “Me? About six, seven months.”
+
+SAM: Do you like the work?
+
+MATT: “I mean, it has its benefits.”
+
+SAM: You mean, like–
+
+ASHLY: Nott!
+
+MATT: “Be on your way and good luck.” Sips the tea
+again.
+
+MARISHA: That’s totally what he means.
+
+SAM: What are those marks all over your neck?
+
+MARISHA: Badge of honor.
+
+SAM: Did you get in a fight last night?
+
+ASHLY: Nott, for real, man. Context clues.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, you could say it was a nice
+little tussle. It was a nice little square off.
+
+SAM: Who won?
+
+MARISHA: I’d say we both won.
+
+SAM: Simultaneously?
+
+MARISHA: I definitely won. I won a few times.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Cool, cool, cool.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SUMALEE: Nila will offer you another goodberry,
+too.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh! Do they make my hickies go away?
+
+MATT: They definitely seem to recede a bit.
+
+MARISHA: Holy shit. This is miracle cream, Nila!
+Oh my god!
+
+MATT: A use for goodberries I’ve not yet seen in
+my years playing D&D!
+
+MARISHA: You could make a cosmetic line!
+
+MATT: All right. As you make your way back into
+the streets of the city, you begin to make your way
+
+back into the Clover Plaza. Now, do you know where
+you’re going?
+
+ASHLY: Do I know a lot?
+
+MATT: You’ve not been to these estates,
+specifically because your employers are
+
+diametrically opposed to the Marduns, but you know
+the vague idea of where it is. But you’ve never
+
+traveled there. You could probably ask around, if
+you’d like. If you were to search for somebody who
+
+would hopefully be of help.
+
+ASHLY: Could we have asked that guy?
+
+MATT: You can go back and ask.
+
+ASHLY: Should we go back and ask the creepy guy?
+
+SAM: I mean, he seems to know them. I guess so.
+
+ASHLY: One more thing!
+
+SAM: We’re going to go back and ask the creepy guy
+how to get to the Marduns’.
+
+ASHLY: Keelyn.
+
+MATT: “Hi again!”
+
+ASHLY: Hi. We should have asked this before we
+left the first time. Do you know where their
+
+estate is?
+
+MATT: “You’re looking for them and you don’t know
+where they are?”
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, man.
+
+MATT: “Northwest outskirts of the town limits,
+within the forest. Look for the dark red wood exterior.”
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+MATT: “You’ll find it, I trust.”
+
+ASHLY: Why are you helping us?
+
+MATT: “Because this place is a shithole and decent
+people are hard to find.”
+
+LIAM: We’ll let you know if we find them. Come
+on.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys head out into the
+streets, and now, it’s interesting. As you head
+
+out into the plaza, it’s much busier than it was
+towards the evening you were here before. You see
+
+a small regiment of people. Armored, geared up.
+Weapons–
+
+[crowd sound effects]
+
+MARISHA: How does he do that?
+
+ASHLY: The timing!
+
+LIAM: Where does he get such wonderful toys?
+
+MATT: BattleBards! And Syrinscape! You glance and
+see 20 or so of these figures, all in various
+
+types of armor and weapons. They’re in lines,
+ramshackle. It resembles something military, but
+
+by people who aren’t trained by military or at
+least have any interest in that type of regimented
+
+standing. You see, at glance, a few Empire
+soldiers, three in full armor. Not crownsguard,
+
+but from the actual military, that are inspecting
+up and down the line.
+
+MARISHA: Is it like a militia that they’re
+forming?
+
+MATT: It looks to be. You recognize most of the
+folks here to be Grudge Gang.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+MATT: You have a question?
+
+LIAM: There is a difference between Crownsguard
+and Empire soldiers? Is one higher than the other?
+
+MATT: Well there’s the military. The Crownsguard
+are essentially the general guardians of every
+
+township and they do day to day law enforcement.
+
+MARISHA and SAM: Cops.
+
+MATT: The actual military soldiers, you saw
+gathering on the outskirts of Zadash when the war
+
+first kicked in, and passed one of the large
+armies traveling eastward from up by the western
+
+side of the Silberquel Ridge.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I don’t think we’ve ever discussed
+this, but is Caleb’s father Crownsguard, or Empire?
+
+MATT: No. Your father would have been low-level
+military.
+
+LIAM: Which is below both of those?
+
+MATT: No. It’s slightly above Crownsguard.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+ASHLY: They’re the Grudge Gang that we see?
+
+MATT: Yes, and watching as you pass by. You get
+the sense that it looks like the Empire is hiring
+
+mercenaries for the war.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+MATT: Coasting around the north side. You tell the
+group to make a wide berth outside of the trench.
+
+Which is on the northern end of the plaza.
+Following the directive of Keelyn you start
+
+weaving toward what’s called North Clover. Clover
+Street, you’ve now begun to note is the large
+
+central street that is the one throughline of the
+entire city. It runs all around the treeline of
+
+the Savalierwood. It’s strange and not straight in
+places, and it was designed to follow the southern
+
+border of this forest. The northern side of it,
+North Clover is built directly into this forest.
+
+You know– Make a history check, actually. Caleb,
+you can make a history check too.
+
+ASHLY: 17.
+
+MATT: Not bad. That works. You’ve been at this for
+a while. The Savalierwood has been cursed for many
+
+centuries. The once-green forest now stands a
+greyish purple ashen color that it now holds and
+
+the superstition and mythology around it has
+allowed the city of Shadycreek Run to prevent
+
+Empire encroachment. They built the city into the
+space, and every time the Empire has attempted to
+
+move forward they’ve pulled back and used it as a
+defensive position. Essentially, over a number of
+
+conflicts, the Empire just gave up, and let the
+region exist on its own. It is dangerous, the
+
+wood. The deeper in, the more dangerous it gets.
+
+ASHLY: And The Sour Nest is nestled into it.
+
+MATT: It’s nestled into the forest even further
+north of where the city stops in the forest.
+
+Continuing on you begin to enter the canopy of the
+south Savalierwood. The shade completely consumes
+
+the city at this point, even though it’s
+mid-morning and the clouds are broken up so that
+
+occasional bits of warmth and sunlight would
+occasionally pass through the city, now it seems
+
+like it’s almost dusk immediately. Occasionally
+you see a leaf tumble past, and then another. It’s
+
+almost beautiful, the color, but it does have
+almost a decaying sense to its meeting between
+
+grey and purple. It’s beautiful in light, and then
+when it hits the ground it almost looks like it’s
+
+bereft of life. You don’t understand the nature of
+this enchantment, whatever this curse may be that
+
+you’ve heard of.
+
+MARISHA: Nila. Is there something wrong with the
+soil here or something? Do you know anything about this?
+
+SUMALEE: I don’t like the look of it. Feels bad.
+Do I have something that can tell? Do you know?
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Well, you’re not familiar with this where
+you are from?
+
+SUMALEE: No, no.
+
+MARISHA: You could do a general nature check.
+
+MATT: You could do a nature check if you wanted to
+try–
+
+SUMALEE: I wanted to use Druidcraft, but I don’t
+know.
+
+LIAM: Roll one of your buddies.
+
+SUMALEE: Plus eight.
+
+LIAM: 14.
+
+MARISHA: No, no. Eight total.
+
+SUMALEE: It’s right? This roll plus two.
+
+MATT: Correct, yeah. This is beyond you. In all of
+your experience– and you’re very connected with
+
+the land of the valley– this far north you’ve not
+encountered something like this. The forest– the
+
+best you can tell, the forest still lives. The
+nature of where it draws its life and this color
+
+is very unnatural and it spooks you.
+
+SUMALEE: Is it like a half-dead forest? Like a–
+
+MATT: It feels alive and you pick up the leaf that
+you saw tumbled before you and you feel it and it
+
+still brims with health. It also off-puts you. You
+get chills and you don’t know why.
+
+SUMALEE: I don’t need to check my smell bag for
+this.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+MATT: I think stink pouch is still my favorite
+phrase.
+
+SUMALEE: Stink pouch, fine.
+
+MATT: No, smell bag is great.
+
+SAM: Odor sack?
+
+ASHLY: It’s somehow worse than stink pouch as far
+as what it evokes.
+
+LIAM: Sniff nuts.
+
+SUMALEE: Are there any animals?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: What was the name of the forest?
+
+SUMALEE: Ooh, it hit that, does that count? Can I
+roll again?
+
+MATT: It still counts, yeah, unfortunately.
+
+SUMALEE: Eight.
+
+MATT: You don’t see anything specifically. You do
+hear birds, so it isn’t bereft of wildlife. At
+
+least you get the sense that there is at least a
+symbiotic relationship with some wildlife in the
+
+bit of the forest you’ve been in.
+
+SUMALEE: I’d love to take one of my goodberries to
+draw one of the birds and see if I might talk with
+
+it and see if it could tell us anything about
+before.
+
+MATT: Make an animal handling check.
+
+SAM: Ooh, what is this? Druid stuff.
+
+SUMALEE: 12 plus seven. 19.
+
+MATT: As you hold the goodberry out, which, with
+your arm length, is a good nine, nine and a half
+
+feet up towards the lower hanging branches, and
+you (bird song) give a little counterwhistle to
+
+the sound of one of the birds you hear. You hear a
+retort (bird whistle) and you return it (bird
+
+whistle), and then it returns (bird whistle,
+flutter), and then down onto the edge of your hand
+
+you see this tiny little blackbird with a white
+stripe that goes down the edge of each wing. It–
+
+(chirping)– and starts eating the goodberry,
+messing the edge of its beak.
+
+LIAM: – giant shitty rooster.
+
+ASHLY: (squawk)
+
+MATT: It’s eating the goodberry. What would you
+like to do?
+
+SUMALEE: What would we like to ask it?
+
+SAM: First thing that pops into my mind is do you
+know Kiri, but I don’t think that’s relevant.
+
+MARISHA: You have to stop thinking that all people
+who look like each other know everybody.
+
+SAM: Don’t they though?
+
+MARISHA: No!
+
+SAM: All right. Maybe, “How long has this curse
+been here? How long has the forest been
+
+"spooky-ooky?”
+
+MARISHA: Do they know how much further the
+Marduns’ keep is?
+
+SAM: Are there any monsters out there?
+
+SUMALEE: That’s too much, one at a time! How long
+has the forest been like this?
+
+MATT: Are you using a spell or are you using your
+firbolg ability?
+
+SUMALEE: Oh, I’m using my firbolg ability.
+
+MATT: That allows you to speak to animals.
+
+SUMALEE: Oh yes, I have to use a spell. Sorry.
+Wait, which one is it?
+
+LIAM and SAM: Wait.
+
+SUMALEE: Do you know which one it is?
+
+MARISHA and LIAM: Speak with Animals.
+
+SUMALEE: Speech of the woods!
+
+ASHLY: Nila’s just staring at this bird.
+
+MATT: Speech of the woods is your firbolg
+ability.
+
+SUMALEE: Oh. I know I have it.
+
+MATT: If you look on your spell list, the cards
+you have prepared, do you have Speak with Animals prepared?
+
+SUMALEE: I know I have it. Oh, it’s because I
+chose my Spirit Totem.
+
+MATT: Oh right. Because you’re Shepherd.
+
+SUMALEE: Yes. I have–
+
+MATT: Yes you do, because you’re Circle of the
+Shepherd.
+
+SUMALEE: Whew!
+
+MARISHA: You got this!
+
+SUMALEE: I was like, “I set this all up and then
+I’m not going to be able to talk to the bird!”
+
+LIAM: She’s an Iron Shepherd, kill her!
+
+MATT: You get to mark off one of your 1st-level
+spells. As you ask the bird, the bird returns–
+
+and you guys hear her whistle to the bird, and the
+bird whistles back quite a bit, this beautiful
+
+song that plays. The bird conveys to you, “Far,
+far before my time.”
+
+SUMALEE: It says it’s been this way a long time.
+
+MARISHA: Wow. I mean, how long is long for a bird
+though?
+
+SAM: They only live for three weeks, right? That’s
+probably a bad question.
+
+SUMALEE: This bird lives a long time, I can tell
+you. This type of bird is not a short-lived bird.
+
+MARISHA: Dagon can live to be 30. She’s going to
+outlive us all.
+
+LIAM: Would you like to ask it what is dangerous
+in the wood?
+
+SUMALEE: Yes. What is most dangerous here?
+
+MATT: “Be wary of spirits.”
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, spirits.
+
+MATT: “Be wary of bone-spurred beasts.”
+
+MARISHA: Bone-spurred beasts. Okay.
+
+ASHLY: Doesn’t sound great.
+
+SUMALEE: What other questions? Are you still
+willing to answer some more?
+
+MATT: How long does the spell last?
+
+LIAM: Three days.
+
+ASHLY: The bird’s a party member now.
+
+MATT: It lasts for ten minutes.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, yeah.
+
+SAM: How far are we from the Mardun house? I don’t
+know if the bird is going to know–
+
+SUMALEE: I don’t think the the bird would know the
+Mardun house.
+
+SAM: Well, we can describe it: red wood house.
+
+MARISHA: Mansion!
+
+SAM: Red wood mansion.
+
+SUMALEE: Oh, all right.
+
+MARISHA: Northwestish.
+
+SUMALEE: I’d like to send the bird, mentally, the
+picture of what that bird’s eye view would be and
+
+to see if the bird has seen that.
+
+MATT: Okay, you focus and express mentally and
+through small verbal gestures towards it the idea
+
+of this color and this shape. Immediately the bird
+(flapping) takes off.
+
+MARISHA and SAM: (gasp) Follow the bird.
+
+MATT: You guys all start keeping up and jogging
+behind it. You watch as it goes (flapping) and it
+
+lands on a post, lands on a little roof, looks
+back at you, (whistling) (flapping) and it’s
+
+waiting and showing you a path through these
+streets. In doing so, you’re dodging past–
+
+originally when you walked in there were broken
+down tent cities and hovels and not a good space.
+
+Here the road and alleys break down. It’s more
+sparse. The buildings are further apart. It’s less
+
+of like a gridded city and more of a cluster of
+buildings that are generally more well made, and
+
+you get the sense that this is the wealthier area.
+You in your experience know that the North Clover
+
+is where most of the tribes, the different ruling
+families, exist and claim their territory. You
+
+move past a couple of buildings, eventually the
+bird bringing you to a beautiful, two-story estate
+
+that’s in the beginning stages of showing
+disrepair. The dark-red wood appears imported, and
+
+the tall stone fence that encircles the building
+is topped with six-inch spear tips. A few that
+
+look bent and off kilter, but still dangerous
+enough for somebody who wished to try and leap the
+
+six, seven-foot fence. The courtyard houses a once
+beautiful garden that now turns grey with the
+
+winter. You can see rose bushes that have since
+browned and withered but the roses still slowly
+
+left there to dry and lose color. You can see in
+the center of this courtyard a small fountain of
+
+some kind, but now it’s filled with slushed snow,
+and here the bits of the snow that have been
+
+pushed off the streets, give way to this estate
+that’s glaring now at the outskirts of the forest.
+
+You can see beyond it, it’s just wood. This
+definitely marks, at least at this part of
+
+Shadycreek Run, the end of the city, before you
+begin to crest into the Savalierwood itself. There
+
+are three individuals that are wearing simple
+chain mail, that are walking inside the courtyard.
+
+One has a crossbow at their side, the other has a
+shortbow across their shoulder. One is sitting,
+
+looking out. The other looks like they’re eating
+some sort of dried meat from a pouch, and they
+
+glance over and watch as you approach and keep an
+eye.
+
+MARISHA: Do they look like Taskers? Do they have
+the same armor?
+
+MATT: They’re not Taskers, no.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+SAM: They’re probably just guarding the place.
+
+MARISHA: Hired hands.
+
+SAM: Does someone want to go talk to them?
+
+LIAM: Ja. That is not a problem. Hello.
+
+MATT: The one that’s sitting, stands up and puts
+his crossbow like– ready, not pointing it at you, but–
+
+LIAM: Ja. We are good here.
+
+MATT: “What is your intent here?”
+
+LIAM: We have been traveling a great distance. We
+are here to speak, if you don’t mind, we have a
+
+message for Ophelia Mardun. It can only be heard
+by her. We have been charged with this message and
+
+no funny business. I hope that we could impart our
+message and be done.
+
+MATT: “I can take your message and pass it on!”
+
+LIAM: Would you tell her that a very refined
+gentleman from the south would like to pass his
+
+regards to her.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+LIAM: Ja. (groans)
+
+SAM: (southern accent) A southern gentleman.
+
+LIAM: Not very good at all.
+
+SAM and ASHLY: (groan)
+
+MATT: He goes, “And there’s five of you?”
+
+LIAM: It is a long way.
+
+MARISHA: And an important message.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Only a fool travels alone.
+
+MATT: “I’ll pass on the message! You’ll be
+summoned if necessary, but (clicks tongue)” Gives
+
+a motion over to the other guard who’s finished
+eating, who’s also pulled the shortbow off the
+
+shoulder and has knocked an arrow into it. Gives a
+whistle and the doors to the estate open, and you
+
+watch as three more guards emerge with crossbows,
+and one with a heavy crossbow at the ready. They
+
+all keep them at the ready, very close eye. One of
+them begins to patrol the outside of the building.
+
+You get the sense immediately that there’s a
+general anxiety and tension at this space when
+
+strangers approach. They’re being very careful.
+
+MARISHA: Can I look around, do I see anybody who’s
+hidden, watching from windows up above, anything
+
+that looks like we’re being watched?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Not by guards, necessarily. 21.
+
+MATT: You glance up, and on the second floor there
+is two sets of double windows. They’re paned, one
+
+of them looks to be partially opened, and you can
+see on the inside there are curtains. One, the
+
+curtains are closed, the other is drawn to a side,
+and you see a figure looking out below. As soon as
+
+you look up and see it, the curtain closes.
+
+MARISHA: Did I catch a glimpse of what the figure
+looks like?
+
+MATT: The figure looked to be human, though the
+skin was dark. That’s as best as you can get
+
+before they vanished.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: I’m just smiling at the guards.
+
+MATT: You see all the other guards each place one
+of their weapons pointed directly at each of you,
+
+and the quiet comes over all of you, as this
+moment, this standoff continues for a minute, two
+
+minutes. As the first guard that you spoke to
+enters and closes the door behind.
+
+LIAM: (exhales)
+
+ASHLY: So do you like being guards?
+
+MATT: “Shh!” One of them tightens the grip.
+
+ASHLY: Got it.
+
+MATT: This large, heavy crossbow already notched
+backward and the tension on the wire itself is–
+
+this guy is looking like he is ready to fire.
+
+LIAM: We are all going to laugh about this later,
+I promise. (nervous laugh)
+
+MATT: A moment later the guard emerges from the
+door. “All right, stand down.”
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+MATT: They all pull their weapons away, looking
+disappointed.
+
+LIAM: We are good?
+
+MATT: “Open the gate.” The guard who was eating
+earlier, puts the shortbow over the shoulder,
+
+still looking wary, and they’re not moving from
+where they’re standing. They’re all keeping a very
+
+close eye on all five of you. Opens the gate
+(clicking) (creaking). The metallic gate swings
+
+open, and you’re all brought into the courtyard.
+As you’re begin to follow the first guard you
+
+spoke with, they all slowly coalesce behind you,
+still keeping their weapons at the side, but ready
+
+if need be. As you’re led to the interior chamber
+of this estate, the Estate Sybaritic. As soon as
+
+you enter the main foyer, the earthy smell of the
+forest gives way to the lingering scent of a
+
+recent meal. As if the cooked meats and starches
+that were eaten maybe an hour or two beforehand
+
+still permeate the air of this entryway. You see
+before you a staircase that continues upward, red
+
+carpeted, before switching back to a second floor.
+In that center landing you can see a very open
+
+window that looks down to possibly a backyard of
+some kind, but currently the view is of the
+
+darkened leaves and bits of sunlight that break
+through. It seems like something that was built
+
+for a beautiful view, not understanding until it
+was completed that it didn’t really catch much of
+
+a view amongst this forest, like the original
+builder had brought sensibilities from outside to
+
+bring them in, and it was not compatible with this
+landscape. There, you see to the left and right of
+
+you art pieces that depict people. You can see
+individuals of different backgrounds, and you see
+
+one that appears to be of pure elven blood with
+brown hair, difficult to make out the gender, but
+
+beautiful and standing very robust with a chin out
+and a wily grin. Oils, very well done. To the left
+
+of you, you can see the other portrait appears to
+be a woman with a very well made dress with these
+
+large, almost puffs at the shoulders. It seems
+almost trying too hard to be aristocratic.
+
+It’s garish, but here you are. A moment
+later the door closes behind you, and you’re still
+
+being flanked by this bevy of guards. You hear the
+heavy footsteps coming down the staircase. Turning
+
+the corner, you see a figure now, framed in what
+little of the light is coming through that window
+
+behind them. (footfalls) Stepping down you see a
+woman, dark-gray skin and ankle-length, black hair
+
+that is smooth and straight that falls behind her.
+You see bony crests of horns that curve up into
+
+these two large points behind the head and bright
+yellow eyes that are pupil-less. A grin that shows
+
+two fanged canines. As she descends you can see
+her attire is very formal, colonial style coat
+
+with epaulets, but it seems to be tailored to not
+hide her figure. She already exudes an air of
+
+powerful aggression and presence. With each step
+that she takes down there, you can sense her
+
+immediately reading and seeing in and through each
+of you. Quietly she takes the last step to the
+
+landing here in the foyer. (German accent) “You
+bring tidings from The Gentleman, you say.”
+
+LIAM: That is correct, ja.
+
+MATT: “Well you have invoked the name of my
+comrade. You have my attention, do not squander
+
+"it. Why are you here?”
+
+LIAM: Well, we will be plain. He has sent us. He
+has told us that you are in need of assistance,
+
+and he has deemed us worthy to provide it.
+
+SAM: Are you Ophelia?
+
+MATT: “I am.”
+
+SAM: Oh, just making sure.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s good.
+
+SAM: It could be someone else.
+
+MATT: “Thorough, I appreciate that. Well so, you
+are the help that he sent. Timely, three days
+
+"earlier would have been better, but here we are. I
+shall not fret on it. Thank you for coming. Be at
+
+"ease, go watch the back walls, make sure nobody
+tries to sneak in while we’re talking.” The guards
+
+all scatter, except for two who stay posted at
+each side of the door behind you. “How much have
+
+"you been told?”
+
+LIAM: (small laugh) Not very much.
+
+MATT: You watch as her eyes looks you from head to
+toe and her tongue runs across her lip a bit.
+
+“(sighs) I’ve had an open line of shipments to
+Zadash, through our mutual friend for some time,
+
+"made a beneficial arrangement for many years.”
+
+MARISHA: Can I do an insight check? Did it look
+like she cast a spell just then?
+
+MATT: Sure, make an insight check.
+
+MARISHA: 25.
+
+SAM: Oh, whispers.
+
+SAM and ASHLY: Whispers.
+
+LIAM: Fireball.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Guys–
+
+LIAM and SAM: D&D Beyond.
+
+LIAM: Am I right?
+
+SAM: Is a really good app.
+
+ASHLY: (flatly) It’s so great.
+
+LIAM: It’s like– I can be on the shitter, if I
+want to check–
+
+SAM: You can customize that.
+
+LIAM: Caleb’s spells.
+
+ASHLY: I can?!
+
+MATT: Oh god.
+
+SAM: You can with their new upgrade.
+
+LIAM: I can be mid dook.
+
+SAM: You can be mid dook?
+
+LIAM: Mid dook and check my spells.
+
+SAM: You’re mid dook right now.
+
+MATT: Anyway, bringing it back in.
+
+MARISHA: Shipments to Zadash.
+
+MATT: “However, my most trusted team of smugglers
+that handle that route and knew it well were slain
+
+"a little over a month ago.”
+
+SAM: Do you know by whom?
+
+MATT: “Well, at first we thought it was maybe the
+dire beasts of the wood around us, but our
+
+"internal priest was able to divine the source of
+their demise. In other words, at the hands of the Jagentoths.”
+
+SAM: The who? What?
+
+ASHLY: It’s the family that controls the Iron
+Shepherds.
+
+SAM: The Jagendoths?
+
+ASHLY: The Jagentoths.
+
+MATT: “Now we’ve– as you seem to know this well.”
+She looks over you. “You look familiar. What is
+
+"your name?”
+
+ASHLY: Keg.
+
+MATT: “Keg, I know that name.”
+
+ASHLY: I used to work for them. Not anymore.
+
+MATT: At which point you hear the guards behind
+(cocking crossbow). The crossbows go back up into
+
+position. You glance over your shoulder to see
+them both pointed– “What assurances can I have
+
+"that I not need strike you down where you stand?”
+
+ASHLY: You don’t have any, but I have a lot of
+information about them.
+
+SAM: We just killed one of them.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, that’s true. That’s better. We killed
+one of them.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check with advantage.
+
+ASHLY: That is a 12.
+
+MATT: “Intriguing. Very well.” They go down.
+“(sighing) We and these Jagentoths have feuded for
+
+"quite some time between these tribes. Many times
+it has come to bloodshed, but now with the Grudge
+
+"Gang and the Taskers making open justice
+throughout the realm messy, we must take to other
+
+"means. We cannot deliver our retribution with
+hands that can be traced back to us. As this
+
+"affects both the Marduns and The Gentleman, he is
+wise to send you, and this kindness shall be
+
+"repaid in person. The Jagentoths have slaughtered
+and stolen from us a major source of contraband
+
+"and income. It’s only fair we do the same in kind.
+We here of the Estate Sybaritic require you to cut
+
+"one of the limbs of their business. Kill their
+best handymen. Hunt the Iron Shepherds.”
+
+LIAM: One more time, please?
+
+MATT: “Hunt the Iron Shepherds.”
+
+LIAM: Your accent is thick.
+
+MATT: “I have not been as far south as some of
+you, I can tell.”
+
+LIAM: No, I appreciate hearing the old tongue
+again.
+
+MATT: She says to you in Zemnian, “Well, stick
+around.” (in Common) “Last I heard, they are still
+
+"out on the road. They live at The Sour Nest, a
+small stronghold not far from here on the edge of
+
+"North Clover to the eastern side. They have a
+number of hired hands that guard the locale. It’s
+
+"a difficult infiltration, but it’s your best
+chance of catching them off guard. If you have
+
+"other ideas, we are open to suggestions. Am I to
+believe that you have been sent,” and her eyes
+
+fall over Nila, “as trained killers, able to deal
+with this?”
+
+LIAM: Some of us are trained killers for sure, and
+we have picked up help as we have seen fit.
+
+Everyone has been carefully selected, carefully
+vetted. I’m sure that with your input on their
+
+mannerisms and habits, their routines, we will do
+quite well.
+
+MATT: “All right. Let us hope that the priest was
+not incorrect. Either way, I would like to see
+
+"them taken down a peg. So do you accept this
+offer?”
+
+MARISHA: What all do you want us getting out of
+that house?
+
+MATT: “Nothing to get out of it. Kill everything
+within it.”
+
+ASHLY: When you say this can’t get traced back to
+you guys, does that mean you can’t help us at all?
+
+Give us any assistance as far as your men,
+firepower, nothing?
+
+MATT: “No. We can offer maybe a bit of change to
+grease a few palms or bring some aid your way, but
+
+"we cannot be traced to this at all. This needs to
+seem unrelated. A strange occurrence, a random act
+
+"of murder was in their home, so as not to quell
+this already boiling blood between us.”
+
+MARISHA: You think all of the Iron Shepherds will
+be there?
+
+MATT: “Well, I don’t know. They’re there often.
+But if you’ve made it this far north, perhaps you
+
+"are better at finding this information than we.”
+
+LIAM: We have come a long way. Is there any– You
+know them better than us; we’re out-of-towners.
+
+Any tips to specifically deal with your problem?
+
+MATT: “Best intel we have involves that they hire
+their mercenaries from the Grudge Gang. They
+
+"prefer to find people with keen eyes and distant
+shot.”
+
+SAM: The Grudge Gang– they’ve hired the entire
+gang, or just the members of the–
+
+MATT: “Just members of the gang.”
+
+SAM: Where do they hang about?
+
+MATT: “All over the city, but the ones they’ve
+hired will probably stay within the estate.”
+
+SAM: They would stay there while they’re under the
+employ of the Iron Shepherds?
+
+MATT: “Of course. That is what I do.” She refers
+to the two guards behind you.
+
+MARISHA: Do you know– sorry. You can go.
+
+ASHLY: You said that they’re still on the road?
+You’re led to believe that they haven’t come back
+
+to Shadycreek Run yet?
+
+MATT: ���I haven’t seen them return yet, no.”
+
+SAM: Would you know if they came back? Do you have
+spies out there looking?
+
+MATT: “I have.”
+
+SAM: Because we saw them on the road and they were
+heading back here.
+
+MATT: “If they have arrived recently, perhaps my
+whispers have not come to me yet.”
+
+ASHLY: There’s a chance The Sour Nest is empty, or
+less guarded.
+
+MARISHA: I wonder if they’re hiring.
+
+SAM: Does the Grudge Gang identify themselves in
+some way? How would we find one?
+
+MATT: “They usually–” and she pulls back her
+sleeve and you can see the dark gray, almost black
+
+skin there beneath. “You will find a burned
+crescent into the wrist of a member of the gang.”
+
+SAM: Let’s get a fireplace and some iron and burn
+the shit out of our wrists, and then we’re
+
+insta-Grudge Gang. Now, The Gentleman has us on a
+meager yearly salary, but if we were to do this
+
+for you, does that include some sort of bonus?
+
+MATT: “Are you saying The Gentleman has not paid
+you for this endeavor?”
+
+SAM: Not yet.
+
+MATT: “I was made to understand that that was all
+taken care of as part of our arrangement.”
+
+MARISHA: How about something in trade? Just as a
+little added bonus as a favor.
+
+MATT: “What are you asking for, if I might
+inquire, little girl?” She leans forward with this
+
+creepy smile that crawls across her face as she
+eyes you up and down.
+
+LIAM: There we go.
+
+MARISHA: Kind of like her demeaning me with that
+little girl stuff. I’m kind of into it. Anyway,
+
+that priest you mentioned. Is he a pretty skilled
+priest? Would he happen to have any skills in
+
+reviving the dead?
+
+MATT: “You have a problem with someone beneath the
+earth. I do not know if our priest specializes in
+
+"such abilities, and if they did, it would be for
+family only.”
+
+MARISHA: Sounds like he does specialize in those
+abilities when you put it like that. If exceptions
+
+can be made for friends and family. Friends and
+family discount is a real thing.
+
+MATT: “You’re mighty presumptuous. You might have
+better luck with any of the wandering crazies in
+
+"the city.”
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+MATT: “Our priest is not the only one.” She cocks
+her head. “If you’re looking for help, could look
+
+"to the Blooming Grove.”
+
+SAM: Where’s that? What’s that? Is that a town?
+
+MATT: “It’s about six miles out of Shadycreek Run,
+to the northwest, a little farther from here. It’s
+
+"a burial grove, but there is a temple there and
+some strange hermit of a priest is said to live
+
+"there. Most folks are spooked of them. The family
+that once looked over that grove has slowly
+
+"dwindled as the years have gone on, and they say
+the curse itself seems to hold it, but try that.
+
+"Otherwise, you need to do quite a favor for us, as
+such magic is not inexpensive.”
+
+ASHLY: Killing all of the Iron Shepherds isn’t a
+big enough favor?
+
+MATT: “You’ve already been paid for that.”
+
+LIAM: Yeah, this is a pre-existing arrangement
+that’s outside of negotiation at the moment. I
+
+understand. We will take care of what you are
+asking.
+
+MATT: “Good. That’s what I like, straightforward
+and working to the fine print. Very good.”
+
+LIAM: Zemnian.
+
+SAM: All right. You don’t want us staying here, I
+suppose? We should scoot out so that we can’t be
+
+traced back to you?
+
+MATT: “We’ll lead you out the back route. Eyes on
+you leaving my estate would be unwise. So.” Begins
+
+speaking in Zemnian to the two other guards–
+you’re the only one who picks up on the language–
+
+says, “Please lead them through the back tunnel.”
+She turns around and begins to ascend the stairs,
+
+stopping and looking back over her shoulder, the
+hair swishing with each step as she makes her way
+
+up, looking back, and the yellow eyes glancing
+back with the bright white teeth against the
+
+darkened skin. “Do not disappoint me. I can be
+very frustrated when I’m disappointed.” Turns back
+
+and makes her way back up the steps.
+
+LIAM: We’re left with guards?
+
+MATT: Two guards, yes.
+
+LIAM: All right, good fellows, would you escort us
+out and point us in the right direction?
+
+MATT: They wordlessly walk and lead you around
+through a dining chamber back to a small storage–
+
+it’d be kitchen adjacent, though you don’t see a
+kitchen yet. You can smell that musty scent of
+
+stored oats and grains, rice.
+
+LIAM: Did I see any books on the way out?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: 14.
+
+MATT: None down here. None of the rooms you were
+brought through seem to have any sort of a shelf
+
+unit or anything that carries tomes or books of
+any kind, unfortunately.
+
+LIAM: Fuck this podunk town.
+
+MATT: There doesn’t seem to be very well-read
+people though there’re probably some. You’re led
+
+into this storage room and down a staircase
+through a trapdoor. It’s pulled open. You’re led
+
+into this wine cellar and in the back of the wine
+cellar, they move aside a case shelving for wine,
+
+and they’re all resting on it, some missing,
+others moving it there. There’s a small tunnel
+
+that you all have to duck down. You have to nearly
+crawl through to get your rather large firbolg form.
+
+ASHLY: Can I sleight of hand and try to steal some
+wine?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+MARISHA: I was about to ask if I recognize any
+wine.
+
+MATT: You’re moving pretty fast. Make a perception
+check.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+ASHLY: Maybe I shouldn’t.
+
+SAM: Oh, it’s too late now.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, it’s great! 18.
+
+MATT: What’d you get?
+
+MARISHA: Nine.
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, you can’t see any of the
+labels the way it’s rested. However, you do manage
+
+to grab a bottle of wine.
+
+SAM: Ooh, is that a Cabernet Sauvignon?
+
+MATT: You guys are brought through single-file
+through this tunnel until eventually, met with
+
+another door. The guard (knocking) does some sort
+of pulsed knock. It opens and from this completely
+
+dark interior, the light hits your eyes and you
+have to adjust for a moment. It’s really not that
+
+bright on the opposite side; it’s still within the
+forest. Comparatively, it hits you. As you step
+
+out, there looks to be an older drunk, dirty,
+filthy-looking man who is completely sober and
+
+lets you out.
+
+MARISHA: That’s cool.
+
+MATT: You are now in the middle of the forest, and
+you can see a small bench and an overgrown well
+
+about ten or so feet ahead and to the left of you
+that vines have completely taken over. The vines
+
+themselves, a similar purple-grayish color as to
+the rest of the leaves. A lot of the foliage seems
+
+to fall into that same coloration. Not all of it,
+but a lot of it. It seems to cross multiple types
+
+of vegetation. As you’re escorted from this room,
+the two guards give a nod, close it behind you.
+
+The old man goes and sits back, puts his bench up
+against the knotted base of a thick tree that’s
+
+growing out of the ground where you had emerged
+from. Leans against it, grabs a jug and sits and
+
+looks at you.
+
+ASHLY: Can I tell where The Sour Nest would be
+from here?
+
+MATT: Make a survival check.
+
+ASHLY: 18.
+
+MATT: With how far you’ve traveled north, it would
+be straight due east from here.
+
+ASHLY: Okay. Sour Nest is east of here.
+
+LIAM: You know where you are?
+
+SAM: Should we go run recon? Take a quick scouting
+pass and see what we can see?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Let’s put a little distance between
+ourselves and this place and this gentleman and I
+
+will send Frumpkin out to have a look.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: You make your way through the Savalierwood.
+
+SAM: Is it a long walk? Or a long travel?
+
+MATT: From where you are now, it’s probably a two
+hour walk. It’s the far east side. It’s
+
+technically past the– let’s see, I have all the
+locations here. Pardon me as I pull out my notes.
+
+LIAM: While you look, I will say an important
+point for clarification. Once we are out of the
+
+view of this gentleman guarding the secret
+entrance, Caleb, walking with poise up to a tree,
+
+leans against it, bends down and has a panic
+attack.
+
+SAM: You were in great in there!
+
+MATT: Past the Gruff Slum is what it is. This is
+the far eastern side of it.
+
+ASHLY: Past the Gruff Stump?
+
+MATT: The Gruff Slum.
+
+SAM: You were great! You handled yourself so well.
+Man, you were rock-solid in there!
+
+LIAM: Stop it. I am nauseous. Let’s go kill a
+bunch of people.
+
+SAM: Give him a goodberry.
+
+SUMALEE: I have a goodberry.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, yes!
+
+LIAM: That is sour.
+
+SAM: It’s a Purin tablet.
+
+SUMALEE: One moment, it will take effect soon.
+
+ASHLY: Oh. End that way.
+
+MARISHA: Keep it down.
+
+LIAM: Let’s go.
+
+MATT: It does warm your belly, and that warmth
+spreads through your torso and it’s– whenever
+
+Jester has come and pulled you from the edge of
+death with a spell, it’s a fragment of that warmth
+
+from the inside of your torso.
+
+LIAM: ‘Member?
+
+MARISHA: ‘Member berries. 'Member Jester?
+
+LIAM: 'Member clerics?
+
+MARISHA: Oh yeah, I 'member.
+
+MATT: Following Keg through the wood, I would like
+you all to make stealth checks, please.
+
+SAM: Stealthy!
+
+MATT: You are no longer under the Pass without a
+Trace spell.
+
+MARISHA: You get all of your spells back after
+sleeping as well.
+
+LIAM: Four!
+
+ASHLY: 14.
+
+SAM: 25.
+
+MARISHA: 17.
+
+SUMALEE: 14.
+
+MATT: Caleb’s feeling a bit clumsy, but the rest
+of you, keeping up the slack, have managed to stop
+
+him at times and make him aware of his terrible
+attempts to stay out of sight and stay quiet. Two
+
+hours of travel eastward–
+
+MARISHA: We should plan.
+
+ASHLY: We wanted to send Frumpkin in.
+
+SAM: We can send Frumpkin, but also, we have
+another animal companion now. If you wanted to
+
+become an animal something or other and scout
+around, that would be acceptable, right?
+
+MARISHA: That’s true.
+
+SUMALEE: I would love that. What animal do you
+think would be the best? Maybe something small?
+
+MARISHA: And something native.
+
+SAM: Well, Frumpkin’s a bird, right?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Maybe we need something on the ground, like a
+weasel-y thing or a ratty type of thing or a
+
+roachy type of thing?
+
+LIAM: You said yesterday that– you were a horse
+first and then you said you could only do it one
+
+more time or a certain number of times, correct?
+
+SUMALEE: Yes, I have two times now, right? Because
+I rested?
+
+MATT: Correct. Two times every short rest.
+
+SUMALEE: I can do twice.
+
+LIAM: If you were to become, say, a raccoon right
+now and go running around, that is one time that
+
+you cannot become a crocodile to eat somebody’s
+face off.
+
+SUMALEE: Yes, and I would like to eat somebody’s
+face off.
+
+LIAM: Okay. I think, let us reserve that for now
+because Frumpkin can do the job. Let’s get closer
+
+to this place and it would only take five minutes.
+He will go.
+
+SAM: In owl form?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Okay. He’ll only be able to see from the sky.
+We should still do that, though, first.
+
+LIAM: I mean, I could turn him back into a cat,
+but then he’s slower, he can’t get over the walls maybe.
+
+SAM: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Just send the bird.
+
+LIAM: How far have we traveled at this point?
+
+MATT: About an hour into it, a sound catches your
+ear, Keg. It catches yours as well. (growling) You
+
+hear the faint breaking of tinder and dry branch.
+
+ASHLY: Do I know what this is off the top or must
+I make a check?
+
+MATT: Make a straight intelligence check.
+
+ASHLY: (singing) Ooh, that’s not going to go well
+for anyone.
+
+LIAM: Unless you roll high.
+
+SUMALEE: 20!
+
+LIAM: Nope.
+
+SUMALEE and MARISHA: Oh!
+
+SAM: Yeah, but it’s minus one.
+
+ASHLY: So it’s zero! Did I help?
+
+MATT: You have no idea, but it sounds unique.
+
+LIAM: Ducks, you guys. It’s ducks.
+
+ASHLY: We’re fine, keep going.
+
+SAM: Oh, great!
+
+ASHLY: But Nila also recognizes it?
+
+MATT: You hear it as well. What’s your perception?
+Your passive perception?
+
+SUMALEE: 14.
+
+MATT: 14. You’d actually hear it as well. You guys
+all put your hands out, stop, and hold still. You
+
+see a heavy shadow moving through the dense
+forest, just south of where you are.
+
+MARISHA: Nobody move. You want to send an owl
+towards that shadow, see if Frumpkin sees what
+
+that is?
+
+LIAM: Ja, okay, that’s easy. I sit down on the
+ground and send Frumpkin into the air.
+
+MATT: Okay. Under a branch, Frumpkin takes some of
+the low branches of these trees, underneath the
+
+canopy and gets a look. Through Frumpkin’s eyes,
+you see what looks to be a black bear, but black
+
+bears that you’ve seen in passing before have
+been, maybe, eight feet, ten feet end to end. This
+
+one’s closer to 15 and about ten feet to shoulder.
+Its fur is long and matted, almost greasy in
+
+patches. At the shoulders and the elbows and
+ridges on its face, you see bone protrusions, like spikes.
+
+MARISHA: Those were the bone spikes.
+
+MATT: As it comes through you watch its large,
+heavy, almost exaggerated muscular shoulders
+
+(sounds of bear walking, growling, and sniffing)
+It sits down on the ground. It seems to have
+
+chosen a spot to take a nap.
+
+ASHLY: Do I have a sense of what aggros it?
+
+MATT: Noise. People. Anything that it could eat.
+
+LIAM: (whispering) There is a very large black
+bear ahead of us, with bones coming out of its
+
+butt and stuff and it has just laid down for a
+nap.
+
+SAM: (whispering) We have to be very quiet.
+
+MARISHA: (whispering) Can you do that thing
+again?
+
+SAM: That makes us all stealthy?
+
+SUMALEE: (whispering) Yes, of course.
+
+MARISHA: (whispering) So we can all sneak by?
+
+SUMALEE: (barely audible) I would like to cast
+Pass Without a Trace.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Okay. With that addition, everyone roll
+another stealth check, since you are taking the
+
+bonus there.
+
+LIAM: What are we going to do?
+
+ASHLY: 23.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t fuck me, Gil. Eh, fuck you, Gil.
+
+MATT: Is that with the plus ten?
+
+ASHLY: Without, so I’m at 33.
+
+MATT: But you do have heavy armor, so you do have
+disadvantage on your stealth checks, I remember that.
+
+ASHLY: With ten, it’s 23 again.
+
+MATT: There you go, it’s still pretty good.
+
+SAM: 39.
+
+MATT: There’s the numbers!
+
+LIAM: 26.
+
+MARISHA: 21.
+
+SUMALEE: I rolled a d20 plus ten, right? Oh, plus
+my– that’s why, I was like, it seems low. 27.
+
+MATT: As it’s sleeping, the heavy breathing almost
+audible as you curve around the space where it is,
+
+trying desperately to not step on anything that
+would make a large snapping or shifting sound in
+
+its presence. You watch as another comes up.
+
+(groaning)
+
+MATT: Alongside it, (growls), awakens slightly and
+sits down next to it and while it’s not sleeping,
+
+is keeping watch as it releases out of its jaw,
+onto the ground a very bloodied and battered body
+
+of some person, you cannot make any details of
+them at this distance.
+
+SAM: Dead?
+
+MATT: Definitely not living! As you begin to walk,
+you begin to hear the terrible crunching sound as
+
+its giant jaws snap into bone and tear into
+flesh.
+
+LIAM: You guys, Taliesin’s a bear.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: You do manage to just skirt along the side
+of the bear without any notice from their side.
+
+Continuing onward. The secondary hour goes without
+issue, but you do begin to come upon the outskirts
+
+of your recollection of where The Sour Nest
+resides. You’re still a good 100 or so feet away,
+
+using the trees at your disposal and you can see
+now the wall that matches the perimeter. It’s a
+
+thin, five foot wide wall with a very flimsy rail
+across the top, but it is a walkway for watch
+
+guards to keep an eye out. As you glance at this
+distance, you can see one figure that’s walking
+
+the perimeter of the top of the wall, with a heavy
+crossbow at the ready. They stop and look out.
+
+LIAM: How dense is the forest around this place?
+
+MATT: It’s pretty dense. The reason it took two
+hours to get there is because you’re going through
+
+the forest. Otherwise on foot, in any sort of open
+scenario, it would take you half the time.
+
+LIAM: There’s no manicured, open place around.
+It’s just nestled among trees around it or–?
+
+MATT: It looks there is manicured to be about a
+ten-foot distance between the wall and any of the
+
+surrounding trees, specifically to make sure that
+any sort of approaching individuals would be out
+
+in the open. You can see now a little bit of light
+is coming through. It looks like they’ve cleared
+
+out a bit of the canopy, not entirely, but a bit
+of it to also prevent any low-hanging boughs or
+
+branches to curl into the interior of the walls.
+It’s not a massive stronghold, it looks to be
+
+approximately a little larger than the Estate
+Sybaritic that you were at, but it’s more for
+
+function than beautiful decor. A lot of the wood
+seems to be old and weathered from rain and dry
+
+seasons. It’s just a beige- and gray-looking
+establishment. Pure function.
+
+LIAM: Our lot is hidden in the trees, a ways
+away?
+
+MATT: Yes. You can barely see it above the wall,
+but the little bit you can see has that visual and
+
+you can see it’s a mixture of stone and wood. The
+edges of the actual structure are stone and then
+
+wood is either then placed over stone or wood is
+the intermediate construction material.
+
+ASHLY: The cart is not back?
+
+MATT: From this perspective, you don’t see where
+the cart would come in.
+
+LIAM: This is where we send an owl.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to send him and it’s going to take
+a moment. I want him to go around the entire place
+
+and keep an eye on it and watch it. Maybe 20 or 30
+minutes. Are we good with that?
+
+SAM: In his talons, he could bring a little mouse
+and drop it in there. I’m just saying.
+
+LIAM: How will we– You and I could talk to the
+mouse.
+
+SAM: We could, but the mouse couldn’t talk back.
+
+ASHLY: Wait, wait, wait, what’s our plan here?
+
+LIAM: Well, for now this is easy, we’re going to
+send my owl now. If anything goes wrong, will you
+
+please tap three times on my left knee? I go blind
+and send Frumpkin up.
+
+MATT: Okay, so, Frumpkin makes it up. Tree, waits
+a moment, tree. The one guard you see doing the
+
+perimeter notices.
+
+LIAM: I tell him telepathically to just chill and
+sit there for a while.
+
+MATT: After a minute or so, the guard just keeps
+looking out. Jumpy. From Frumpkin’s view, down
+
+inside, you can see the exterior of this. There is
+a large collection of brown wood kegs and a couple
+
+of small crates that contain materials that you’re
+unaware of. You can see there are two entrances,
+
+one at the front and one at the back of the
+building. There are not windows, but small holes
+
+put into the wood and from the inside– Actually,
+roll a perception check for Frumpkin, thank you.
+
+With advantage, due to the form, because it is
+with sight.
+
+LIAM: Perception, you say? 22.
+
+MATT: 22. Looking through these curved window
+ports about that big, essentially large enough to
+
+look through and fire through, but small enough to
+not really allow a person to push through. You can
+
+see there’s about two inches of stone, so it is a
+stone structure that has wood as a decorated
+
+exterior to it, so it’s pretty solid. Down inside,
+you do see about six horses that are hitched on
+
+the back side of it and two carts and a third one
+that is currently being repaired.
+
+SAM: Those are our carts!
+
+LIAM: How many people do I see down inside?
+
+MATT: There’s one up top on the wall. You now see
+with Frumpkin, thanks to that perception roll, a
+
+secondary guard on the opposite side of the wall.
+It looks like there are two doing a perimeter
+
+pass, matching each other so that at any given
+point in time they have a visual perspective on
+
+one or the other’s side of the estate. You see one
+more guard that is inside the courtyard and it
+
+looks like two individuals that are not in general
+attire of the hired hands. The guards are wearing
+
+the same hooded cloak and armament as the two that
+were pulling the caravan up with them.
+
+ASHLY: Those are definitely the caravans? The
+carts that Frumpkin sees are the ones that we–?
+
+MATT: They are very much. The one that’s been
+broken has been carried along the way and
+
+temporarily fixed for the journey, but now has two
+individuals of plain clothes that are in the
+
+process of repairing the cart.
+
+LIAM: Total two up top?
+
+MATT: Two up top, one on the inside that’s armed,
+and two that are currently repairing the cart that
+
+appear to be unarmed. You gather from the state of
+repairs that the arrival was probably not that
+
+long before you arrived.
+
+ASHLY: So much for getting the jump on them.
+
+MARISHA: Three guards, two hired hands, and were
+there two more regular individuals?
+
+MATT: No, there were two guards on the wall, only
+one you see inside the courtyard, and then two
+
+handymen. You don’t really know if they work for
+them full-time or if they’re a temporary hire, but
+
+there are two men that are not in the general
+attire of the rest of the guards of the estate
+
+that are currently repairing.
+
+LIAM: They definitely don’t know any ice magic.
+
+ASHLY: Definitely sorcerers, definitely no ice
+magic. Definitely. Is it accurate to say that if
+
+we were to find Grudge Gang members that were
+unaffiliated, that we could pay them?
+
+MATT: If you have enough.
+
+ASHLY: Okay, because from where I’m sitting, I
+don’t know how this is going to go much different
+
+than what happened before. We might need more
+people.
+
+MATT: The Grudge Gang, they can be expensive and
+also they’re not keen on suicide missions if they
+
+have no stake in it. But if they have a stake in
+it, and you pay well enough, and you have
+
+assurances and enough to back you up, they’ll go
+with it.
+
+ASHLY: Would the Taskers have more of a stake?
+
+MATT: You’re not sure. You’ve never really
+interacted with them much. You know of them, but
+
+because of your affiliation previously, you’re
+pretty insulated from dealing with those folks.
+
+You grew up hating a lot of the bits of authority
+that existed around here and now you’re finding
+
+yourself having to eat crow for a lifetime of–
+
+ASHLY: It’s like my thing. Yeah, it’s my new
+thing: eating crow.
+
+LIAM: Did you say how big the structure within the
+wall is?
+
+MATT: The structure within, I’d say it’s maybe 50
+feet on one side, maybe 70 or 80 on the other.
+
+It’s hard to really gauge the full distance. It’s
+a fairly large estate that’s been fitted into a
+
+small stronghold.
+
+MARISHA: Could make a distraction in the woods,
+get one of the guard’s attention. Bring them in
+
+one at a time. Ambush them. Take their wardrobe.
+
+ASHLY: Or we could watch them for awhile.
+
+SAM: You have a sword that can teleport you. You
+could bamf up onto the walkway with them and knock
+
+one off, and we could kill him.
+
+MARISHA: Between me and Nila, we could actually
+get in pretty quickly. I could get in with the
+
+sword and she could be dropped in as a mouse.
+
+ASHLY: The Iron Shepherds aren’t there?
+
+MATT: You don’t know.
+
+ASHLY: Frumpkin doesn’t see?
+
+MATT: Frumpkin doesn’t see them.
+
+SAM: We can certainly kill a guard. That would
+give us a costume, but what does that get us?
+
+LIAM: They find a dead man on their perimeter and
+know that someone is fucking with them.
+
+SAM: We can drag his body off and feed it to a
+bear. Steal his clothes. They’ll be like “Where
+
+"did he go? Where did Phil go? Oh, Phil. You know,
+that old story.” Or we drop in mouse girl and she
+
+could run around inside and find out if her son is
+in there, and our friends.
+
+SUMALEE: I’m so confused. The carts that we see
+were the ones that I’ve seen people go into
+
+before, but we don’t see the Iron Shepherds here.
+
+ASHLY: We don’t see where the prisoners are being
+kept?
+
+MATT: You don’t see that, but you know. The
+basement below. There are three separate chambers:
+
+one that’s for holding, one that’s for breaking,
+which is torture, and the one that is for display
+
+if they have any final approvals by the Jagontoth
+family that has an idea of where they should be sent to.
+
+SUMALEE: This is our best chance, because there
+are no Iron Shepherds here.
+
+ASHLY and SAM: We don’t know.
+
+LIAM: They could be inside. This is not any better
+than our chances on the road.
+
+MARISHA: Well, then we do one of two things. We
+either send in Nila as a mouse to scout to see if
+
+The Iron Shepherds are in there, or we wait and we
+watch and we see who comes in and out. Watch the
+
+guard shifts, see when the changeover is.
+
+SUMALEE: I want to go in.
+
+MARISHA: A guard shift would be the most opportune
+time to attack. When they’re changing shifts.
+
+ASHLY: Do we have any interest in trying to get
+more people?
+
+SAM: Sure. Yes. I don’t know how much money we
+have.
+
+ASHLY: Do I have a sense of how expensive the
+Grudge Gang is?
+
+MATT: You’ve never hired any of them, so you’re
+not sure, but the way to ask would be to go find them.
+
+LIAM: Looking through Frumpkin’s eyes, was I able
+to see the entrance through this wall that the
+
+guards are up top on? What’s the way in here?
+
+MATT: On the opposite end, it looks to be
+ladders.
+
+LIAM: No gate or doorway at all?
+
+MATT: Oh, sorry. I thought you meant how they got
+up onto the wall, my apologies. There is a gate in
+
+the front and there is a gate in the back. The
+gate in the back is– actually, both gates are two
+
+dark wood doors that have a brace set down that
+holds them in place that is held and controlled
+
+from the interior.
+
+LIAM: Solid?
+
+MATT: Solid.
+
+LIAM: None of this?
+
+MATT: On both sides it looks like a single brace
+that comes down from one side.
+
+ASHLY: The back gate, is that pressed against the
+forest?
+
+MATT: Both gates have about a ten-foot open space
+before it reaches forest. There are stumps and
+
+there are places where trees were cleared out,
+specifically to give that opening so that they’d
+
+have a good idea and good visual on anybody who’d
+attempt to approach.
+
+MARISHA: Keg, do you know if these people would
+have a secret entrance into the basement, to the
+
+dungeon area? Tunnels?
+
+ASHLY: Do I have some sense of that?
+
+MATT: You didn’t work close enough with them to
+know of any secret passage. I mean, it makes
+
+sense. There might be one, but nothing that you’ve
+come across. If there is one, it’s a well-guarded
+
+secret. You have no idea.
+
+ASHLY: Has anything changed since last I was here,
+that I can tell?
+
+MATT: Not really. They’re not into renovations.
+
+ASHLY: Sure.
+
+MATT: If it works, stick with it.
+
+MARISHA: Do the guards sleep here on the estate,
+or do they go home at night?
+
+ASHLY: I’d assume they’d stay on the estate.
+
+MATT: They sleep on the estate. They’re paid
+essentially as live-in employ guards.
+
+ASHLY: I don’t know how we do this.
+
+SUMALEE: I just want to see my son. I want to go
+inside.
+
+SAM: You want to go in and scout around?
+
+ASHLY: How long does your magic last?
+
+SUMALEE: Good question.
+
+MATT: For you, it’s half your druid level, rounded
+down, so per transformation, it’s about two hours.
+
+LIAM: How do you get out if you are in a mouse?
+
+MARISHA: Through a gate.
+
+LIAM: The gates are solid.
+
+MARISHA: I thought you said there was a–
+
+LIAM: That’s why I asked.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a solid gate?
+
+ASHLY: Well, if she were to run out into the clear
+area, you could use Frumpkin, as if Frumpkin was hunting.
+
+MARISHA: To pick her up. Helivac her out!
+
+LIAM: Possible.
+
+MARISHA: Owls eat mice. I’m just saying. It makes
+sense in nature.
+
+LIAM: Could you make yourself a very distinct
+looking mouse, like a shock of white hair on the
+
+mouse head or something like that? Something
+unique?
+
+SUMALEE: So that your friend wouldn’t mistake me.
+
+LIAM: Correct.
+
+SUMALEE: I think I can. A particular type of field
+mouse.
+
+MATT: You can do that.
+
+SUMALEE: I just want to get close.
+
+ASHLY: Nila, do you promise that if you see your
+son, you’re not going to try anything on your own?
+
+SUMALEE: I know I won’t succeed, so I won’t. I
+just want to get a look.
+
+LIAM: Send in the animals.
+
+MARISHA: We’ll help you find your son. Keep it
+together in there, all right?
+
+SUMALEE: I will.
+
+MARISHA: Now, here’s the thing: goblin girl and
+hobo wizard have this spell where they can talk
+
+into your ear. You probably won’t be able to
+respond back as a mouse except for maybe squeaks. Squeaks?
+
+SAM: How about one squeak is “yes,” two squeaks is
+“no.”
+
+MARISHA: That’s good.
+
+SAM: Three squeaks is, “My son’s been compromised!
+Please come rescue me! I’m dying in here! Please
+
+"come get me!”
+
+SUMALEE: Okay, one squeak: yes. Two squeaks: no.
+Three squeaks–
+
+SAM: “Oh my god, everything’s gone to shit!”
+
+LIAM: Would Comprehend Languages work with a
+mouse, or no? That would be a different spell,
+
+right? Speak with Animals?
+
+MATT: Comprehend Languages has to be spoken
+languages or written language.
+
+LIAM: I agree, yeah.
+
+SUMALEE: I’m not going to do three squeaks because
+I’m going to hold it together and I will come out. Right?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, K.I.T. Keep it together.
+
+SAM: Absolutely. You are a strong, powerful
+firbolg. Are you sure you don’t know Pumat Sol?
+
+ASHLY: I knew you were going to say it! I knew it.
+You were doing so well.
+
+SUMALEE: What is that?
+
+SAM: He’s one of you. There’s four of him.
+
+MARISHA: “He’s one of you?” That’s so generalizing
+and demeaning.
+
+SAM: I mean, they’re kind of all the same, right?
+
+ASHLY and MARISHA: No!
+
+SUMALEE: Now it’s demeaning.
+
+MARISHA: Matt drowns the future comments.
+
+LIAM: You must know Jareth the Goblin King? You’re
+buddies with him?
+
+SAM: All goblins are different.
+
+MARISHA: Question, where this collection of
+barrels–
+
+MATT: Green privilege. Go on.
+
+MARISHA: The collection of barrels. Are they on
+the inside in the courtyard?
+
+MATT: They’re inside the courtyard, yes.
+
+MARISHA: How about we use that barrel pile as your
+meeting point? We’ll make sure that Frumpkin’s
+
+watching the barrel pile, and you get back there
+when you’re done scouting.
+
+SUMALEE: I’m up for it.
+
+MARISHA: You got this, and we’re relying on you.
+So, you know, don’t fuck it up.
+
+SUMALEE: There is that word again. It has many
+meanings.
+
+LIAM: Truth.
+
+MATT: Do you take your form, then?
+
+SUMALEE: Yes, I will take my form.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, this is so exciting!
+
+MATT: Nila’s large firbolg physicality blinks down
+to this tiny little field mouse. What
+
+characteristic of it do you want to stand out?
+
+MARISHA: I’m so happy.
+
+SUMALEE: The nice white stripe across the top,
+from its head all the way down.
+
+MATT: It’s like a skunk mouse. Like Stripe from
+Gremlins. All right, there is Nila in mouse form.
+
+LIAM: Ja, but we didn’t talk about the first
+part. Frumpkin’s got to bring her in there. Buddy,
+
+don’t eat, just carry her. Stay away from the two
+on the top, okay? Put her by the barrels if you
+
+can. Then come back.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin moseys up to the edge of your
+shoulder. Looks over towards her. Lands on the
+
+ground next to you, does a couple of hops up to
+you.
+
+SUMALEE: I offer my neck to pick me up.
+
+MATT: For a brief moment you all inhale, and you
+see the claws have wrapped around the mouse’s
+
+body. Suddenly, you’re soaring through the air, a
+sensation you’ve never had before. As Frumpkin
+
+makes his way over into the trees, make a stealth
+check for Frumpkin, please.
+
+LIAM: As he’s going, I tell him: Correction, find
+an out of the way place to sit and watch those
+
+barrels. Stealth, you say?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: For my owl, so I have to go to the other
+page. The owl page.
+
+MATT: Yes, you do.
+
+LIAM: Which I have ready.
+
+SAM: You have an owl page on D&D Beyond?
+
+LIAM: 13.
+
+ASHLY: That wonderful service?
+
+SAM: Oh god, the house is full of tabaxi!
+
+MARISHA: We sent in a laser pointer! Shit!
+
+MATT: It’s the best use of Prestidigitation. Look
+at the red light! As you’re soaring through the
+
+boughs, the leaves and the branches soar past, the
+wind past your face. You get that high view of
+
+down into the courtyard as suddenly you go into a
+steep dive. Within a moment, you’re lifted back up
+
+and then dropped onto the ground next to one of
+the barrels. Frumpkin takes off. The guard glances
+
+over, and is going to take a shot.
+
+LIAM: Take your shot.
+
+MATT: Natural five! It’s going to put it at a
+nine. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t hit.
+
+LIAM: Does not hit my owl.
+
+MATT: (arrow hissing) “Eh, shit,” you hear
+muttered over the side. Seems bored and wanted to
+
+shoot at something that looked interesting.
+
+LIAM: You hear beside you: Arschloch.
+
+MATT: There you are in the courtyard now.
+
+SUMALEE: I want to go toward–
+
+MARISHA: My terrible map of what I think based on
+what he drew.
+
+MATT: It’s not bad. Immediately glancing around,
+make a perception check, actually, as you are
+
+coming into the courtyard.
+
+MARISHA: Were the porthole windows in the wall, or
+in the actual building?
+
+MATT: They were in the wall of the second floor.
+
+LIAM: Of the building?
+
+MATT: Of the building, yes.
+
+SUMALEE: Shit! Six.
+
+MATT: It’s hard to see any specific areas where
+you can get in other than the main doors. There is
+
+a slight gap between the front door to the
+entrance and the floor of the interior. Other than
+
+that, scooting around the exterior, it’s the only
+entrance you see.
+
+LIAM: P.O.V., two inches tall.
+
+MATT: Yep, right at the bottom. This is some Honey
+I Shrunk the Kids shit now.
+
+SUMALEE: I should have talked to my friends before
+to get a plan. Nila’s a little confused again.
+
+MATT: You’re looking at the building right there.
+You can see the two guards going along the wall.
+
+You hear the sound of work being done on the carts
+around the side, and all you see is that front
+
+door with that slight gap at the bottom. What are
+you doing?
+
+SUMALEE: I think I want to go underneath the gap.
+
+MATT: Okay. You scoot, squeeze under, flattening
+out your mouse body and making your way through on
+
+the inside. The immediate warmth hits you from the
+cold exterior of the forest. The inside is, mostly
+
+being stone, comparatively, the temperature is
+much warmer in here. Coming inside, it’s still a
+
+flat stone floor. It’s not very well decorated at
+all.
+
+SAM: So judgy.
+
+SUMALEE: Field mouse is not looking at the
+decoration.
+
+MATT: In the sense that comparatively to some
+other places you’ve seen here, it’s just plain,
+
+stone walls. It’s very basic. It’s so basic.
+Looking inside, there is one curved stone
+
+staircase that leads up to the second floor. There
+is a hall that goes to the left and further down
+
+to one side. There is a closed door that leads
+into an interior chamber, and that’s all you can
+
+see at the moment. The spiral staircase up, the
+door ahead of you, and the hall that curves around
+
+the side.
+
+SAM: You know it’s down.
+
+SUMALEE: It’s down where my son could be. Sorry,
+so I don’t want to go up the spiral staircase.
+
+What are the other two options?
+
+SAM: Around to the side or a closed door.
+
+LIAM: This floor, upstairs or downstairs.
+
+SUMALEE: Downstairs.
+
+MARISHA: Do the spiral stairs go up and down?
+
+MATT: They only go up, yes.
+
+SUMALEE: I have to pick one of the two doors and
+hope that it leads down.
+
+MATT: The door or the hallway, one of the two.
+
+SUMALEE: (sighs) I wish I had my smell pouch!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SUMALEE: I’ll choose… the door.
+
+MARISHA: It’s the game show host problem.
+
+MATT: You squeeze beneath the door and immediately
+see a general mess room. There are a couple of
+
+tables and chairs that are pressed up against
+them. The smell of alcohol and stale, dried meat
+
+hits your nose and you can see immediately,
+sitting in two of the chairs, two members of The
+
+Iron Shepherds that are in the process of eating a
+midday lunch. One of them is a small male
+
+halfling. He has a weaselly-looking face. He’s in
+the process of finishing what’s comparatively to
+
+his size, a large tankard of ale, and eating some
+sort of heavy starch biscuit meal. Across from
+
+him, on the other side of the table, you see a
+human female barbarian with greasy curls of
+
+blondish hair that meet with her fur shoulder and
+very tattered leathers for decoration. They’re
+
+both drinking and eating. Catching off the side of
+the ear, the halfling is seemingly
+
+mid-complaint about how, “You know, it really
+ticks me off that we lost some good catches on the
+
+way up here. Boss shouldn’t’ve been so careless
+with that, but I mean, I’m not going to tell him
+
+that. You know, it’s frustrating.” The women
+finishes a bite and a big swig of her glass.
+
+“Yeah, well, you got to break some eggs,
+sometimes.” Like she’s making some big
+
+pontification, some big statement. He goes, “Wise
+words,” and keeps drinking and they go into a
+
+quiet state, but there’s two of them now present.
+You do know that at least they’ve returned and
+
+there are some present inside. It does not appear
+that there’s any other entrance downward. There’s
+
+a secondary door on the opposite end.
+
+SUMALEE: Go to the secondary door.
+
+MATT: Make a stealth check.
+
+MARISHA: Come on, mouse. Come on, mousey-poo. Oh!
+That’s good!
+
+SUMALEE: 17.
+
+LIAM: Squeakers!
+
+MATT: Okay. You dart around the side, beneath a
+table, beneath a bench, and around the edge. None
+
+the wiser of your presence. They give no shits.
+You make your way and squeeze past the door on the
+
+opposite end. There you come to a suiting room.
+There are weapons that are hung up on racks. There
+
+are a couple of small wooden poles with dowels in
+the sides that are meant to hold armor, shields
+
+and things that are there, additional crossbows
+and things that the guards probably utilize at
+
+different points. This is an equipment storage
+room. There is another door to the left. Where you
+
+entered and squeezed underneath, there is a door
+to the left that you can go under as well. As you
+
+leave and pass that room, you head to a back
+hallway to this interior part of this level. This
+
+hallway continues down and seems to meet the hall
+that continued around the left side, and then
+
+continues on. To the right, there is another door
+that leads into another chamber.
+
+SUMALEE: Got to do it. Down the hall to the right
+chamber. This now I know that I didn’t have to go
+
+down that other hallway, the first one, because
+that’s already met up here, right?
+
+MATT: The other hallway would have continued this
+way, and the hallway you’re just emerging now,
+
+meets with it. Then on that right side of it,
+there is a door that leads into whatever room is
+
+the next one over from that mess hall chamber. You
+head into that room? Heading down that room, it’s
+
+a small closet-like room, and there is a trapdoor
+on the ground.
+
+SUMALEE: That’s it, but how do I open the trapdoor
+now?
+
+SAM: Maybe there’s a little crack or something.
+
+SUMALEE: That’s what I think is my way downstairs,
+so I go toward the trapdoor, see if I can’t get in.
+
+MATT: Make a strength check in your mouse form.
+
+MARISHA: Try and squeeze under? This is when a
+natural 20 is– aw.
+
+SUMALEE: Nine, that’s a nine.
+
+MATT: Yeah, no. I’ll put that at a minus four.
+Your mouse isn’t strong enough to budge the door
+
+that is currently–
+
+MARISHA: There might be a hole in the floor or
+something else.
+
+SUMALEE: I feel like that’s the key, but I want to
+keep looking to see how many Iron Shepherds there
+
+may be in any other location that I haven’t
+explored.
+
+MATT: Okay, make a perception check.
+
+SUMALEE: 14.
+
+MATT: As you’re pushing against the door, you do
+hear voices muffled from below. Then you hear what
+
+sounds like a laugh, a deep billowing laugh.
+
+SUMALEE: Can I gnaw my way through the door?
+
+MATT: You can! And in a few days, you’ll probably
+make your way through.
+
+SUMALEE: I hear a laugh. Oh, have I heard this
+laugh before?
+
+MATT: You have.
+
+SUMALEE: Shit. This is enough for me, I know
+they’re down there. The leader of the Iron
+
+Shepherds is down there beneath that trapdoor.
+That’s what I believe. I don’t know what to do now.
+
+ASHLY: Can you guys talk to her?
+
+SAM: We can send a Message.
+
+LIAM: After a while, yeah.
+
+SAM: I’ll send a Message saying: Are you still
+alive?
+
+SUMALEE: (squeaks)
+
+SAM: She’s still alive.
+
+MATT: Sumalee, what are you going to do?
+
+SUMALEE: I am going to stick to my mission to
+scout. I am going to pull everything I have to go
+
+away from the trap door, knowing where it is, and
+I am going to scurry up and I want to explore that
+
+spiral staircase.
+
+MATT: You’re heading back into the cross-hallway.
+Are you following down the hall or are you heading
+
+back through the mess room?
+
+SUMALEE: I’ll go the hallway this time.
+
+MATT: Okay, you scurry around the hallway. There
+is nobody in there, so there is no one you are
+
+trying to hide from. You make it back to the main
+entryway, head to the staircase, and it takes you
+
+awhile to get up there, because the steps are
+about that high each. It’s a little jump, and then
+
+you miss a few and have to stop and skitter back
+up. It takes you awhile, the better part of about
+
+20 to 25 minutes. You eventually make your way to
+the second floor. Up there, you can see another
+
+hallway and as opposed to the bottom floor, which
+had an L-shaped hallway that went around, this one
+
+has a perimeter hall. There are those porthole
+windows that are carved into the stone, two on
+
+each side. As you come up to the top, the hall
+goes around and there’s a central chamber on the
+
+inside, or chambers if they’re divided. You can
+see immediately on the second floor, a door
+
+directly available to the one that’s just north of
+you. You don’t see any other door on this
+
+particular corridor.
+
+SUMALEE: All right, let’s crawl under that door.
+
+MATT: You scoot beneath that door and inside
+there, you can see a number of beds. You see four
+
+different beds that are lined up. You also find a
+familiar smell: other mice. Specifically, the
+
+urine of other mice.
+
+SAM: Ugh.
+
+MATT: You glance over and in the corner you can
+see one of the comforters that has been partially
+
+eaten and pulled down and tugged. There is a
+slight hole in the stone on the edge. You can
+
+distinctly smell that there are other mice that
+live in this space.
+
+SUMALEE: Is there anyone in the beds?
+
+MATT: You don’t necessarily know if they are in
+the beds at all– There’s nobody in the beds.
+
+Sorry. Yeah, nobody on the beds.
+
+SUMALEE: No people to be seen anywhere?
+
+MATT: No, not in this room.
+
+SUMALEE: Okay. What else can I cover? I want to
+cover everything and gather as much of the layout.
+
+MATT: We’ll say as you move into one of the other
+rooms, the next two, you do notice that there are
+
+two other chambers. This upper floor is divided
+into three different chambers. There is the wide
+
+one that has the four beds, there’s one that has
+two other beds, and there’s one that has a
+
+singular large bed. This one room is almost like a
+master bedroom. You gather this is probably the
+
+room that Lorenzo sleeps in. It’s a wider bed. It
+has, of all the other middling elements of
+
+comfort, this one comparatively is more extravagant,
+more comfortable. The layers of cushions–
+
+SAM: A Dwendalian king.
+
+MATT: Goddamn it, Sam. Make a perception check.
+
+SUMALEE: Good. 19.
+
+SAM: Semen stains.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Everywhere!
+
+SUMALEE: That’s what the mice are eating.
+
+MATT: You look up and there is a makeshift table
+on the side of the bed, and a stone platter that
+
+sits on there, and the remains of a meal. The
+smell in here is old and slightly decayed, like
+
+something had died. You glance up and you can see
+some a bit of graying flesh and a faint glisten of white.
+
+SUMALEE: Oh, god. I want to explore. I want to get
+closer.
+
+MATT: Okay. There is an edge of the bed that you
+can eventually scurry up and use that to climb up
+
+onto the bed itself. The bed is bowed pretty
+heavy. The actual bed was wide; whatever weight
+
+it’s carried from Lorenzo is sunken rather deep in
+there. It’s a bit of a pit as you crawl across it,
+
+the blankets tossed and folded over. You make your
+way to the edge and look over to this platter and
+
+what you see appears to be bones. Bones that are
+covered in strips and elements of leftover meat.
+
+SUMALEE: Do I know what kind of meat?
+
+MATT: There is a skull. A tiny skull.
+
+SAM: Oh boy. That’s not good.
+
+SUMALEE: An animal?
+
+MATT: Not animal.
+
+SUMALEE: I’m almost about to squeak three times
+but I’m going to hold it together. I want to get
+
+out now.
+
+MATT: You make your way down off the side of the
+bed and into the hallway and begin to turn around
+
+towards the staircase down. As you begin to
+descend the staircase, you hear heavy footsteps
+
+making their way towards the base of the stairs.
+(thumping sounds) You hear the shifting of
+
+leather. Make a stealth check… with the mouse’s
+dexterity which–
+
+SUMALEE: Oh right. Oh, that’s probably better with
+the mouse than with Nila.
+
+MATT: What did you roll?
+
+SUMALEE: Seven.
+
+SAM: You’ve got luck.
+
+SUMALEE: Oh yes, thank you! Luck! Thank you!
+
+MATT: Go ahead. Use that luck point.
+
+SUMALEE: Using my luck point. All right come on.
+20!
+
+(cheering)
+
+SUMALEE: Thank you, Sam! It’s allowed!
+
+MATT: Oh yeah, no, I know! I’m so thankful
+because, as you come down the staircase, you see,
+
+looming up, towards the muscled form of a tired,
+but intent to peruse his domain, Lorenzo, making
+
+his way up the same staircase. No glaive in his
+hands. As you step up, you manage to wait for the
+
+right moment, hiding in the shadow of the step. As
+his legs cross over, you dart down to make your
+
+way, and he doesn’t see a thing. You make your way
+back down into the main entryway to this, back out
+
+under the main entrance under the door. You are
+now in the courtyard. You head on over to the barrels.
+
+SUMALEE: Yes! Squeak, squeak, squeak! Come get
+me!
+
+MATT: Frumpkin has kept watch, specifically sees
+the mouse return. Darts down and snatches you up
+
+in your form and swoops up. Make a stealth check
+for Frumpkin. The same guard is getting slightly–
+
+LIAM: That’s a 17.
+
+MATT: 17. He glances over and sees Frumpkin dart
+down and goes “I got ya.”
+
+SAM: Oh no!
+
+MATT: However, still–I mean good for you!
+
+SUMALEE: Good for Nila!
+
+MATT: Still a natural two. Another bolt goes off.
+Frumpkin goes up into the trees, back down to you
+
+guys. They are waiting patiently, watching as the
+owl returns and on the ground releases the mouse
+
+form of Nila.
+
+MARISHA: (clapping) Awesome! What did you learn?
+
+MATT: She is still a mouse.
+
+ASHLY: Can she become not a mouse?
+
+MATT: If she wants to.
+
+SUMALEE: Yes, I would like to shift out of my
+mouse form.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Tell us everything!
+
+MARISHA: That was awesome!
+
+LIAM: What was?
+
+MARISHA: She didn’t die as a mouse.
+
+LIAM: That’s true.
+
+MARISHA: She turned into a mouse and then came
+back and was helped back out by your bird-cat!
+
+That’s awesome!
+
+LIAM: Did you learn anything?
+
+SUMALEE: I did. It’s terrible. I don’t know if I
+saw my son. I know where they are keeping people.
+
+I know where they are keeping their prisoners.
+There is a trap door. You can get through it,
+
+through a mess hall and through another room and a
+hallway. There are two Iron Shepherds eating in
+
+the mess hall. There are, I think, many under the
+trap door.
+
+LIAM: Many?
+
+SUMALEE: Well, I saw beds. I saw six beds, plus a
+big bed. The big bed belongs to the leader.
+
+ASHLY: What do you mean you don’t know if you saw
+your son?
+
+SUMALEE: He was eating something. I don’t think it
+was him, but it looked like he was eating–
+
+LIAM: One of these in the mess hall?
+
+SUMALEE: No, just the leader that was eating
+something that didn’t look like an animal. It
+
+looked small.
+
+ASHLY: Jesus Christ.
+
+SUMALEE: Like my son’s size.
+
+LIAM: How many people? You said two?
+
+SUMALEE: There were six or seven beds, and I heard
+voices under the trap door. I know they’re there.
+
+My son is not dead. He is there underneath the
+trap door.
+
+LIAM: I pull some paper out and say, “Can you draw
+these rooms?”
+
+SUMALEE: Yes, I will do my best.
+
+MATT: I’ll have an actual sketch for you next
+time.
+
+SUMALEE: Thank you!
+
+LIAM: That’s cool.
+
+MARISHA: We know that there are members of The
+Iron Shepherds here, and we know they have beds
+
+here. Wait until the fall of night?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Take out the guards, kill them in their
+sleep?
+
+SAM: I still would like some help, maybe one extra
+hand.
+
+ASHLY: How much time do we have until nightfall?
+
+MATT: Until nightfall? I’d say with the two-hours
+travel from the morning, you’d have probably
+
+another six seven hours.
+
+MARISHA: How long is it to travel to get back to
+town?
+
+MATT: If you are heading straight south to the
+town, it’s maybe another hour. Well, actually a
+
+little less than that.
+
+MARISHA: Not as far as I thought.
+
+SUMALEE: I wish I knew if there was another
+entrance or exit underneath that trap door. I
+
+couldn’t get in, but I heard the voices and I
+heard many people under there.
+
+MARISHA: If I know anything from my time in the
+criminal underworld, it’s these people always have
+
+secret passageways in and out. We could do like a
+wide walk of the perimeter, see if we find
+
+anything out-of-place in the forest. See if
+there’s a path, and if we don’t find anything,
+
+make our way back into town. Look for a hired
+hand.
+
+LIAM: Well, I like the idea of an extra hand or
+two to back us up, but I also agree with you. We
+
+go in at night and try to take the guards out, who are
+watching quietly, hopefully. If that is the case,
+
+we can go in and get our friends, and if we do
+that successfully, then we can burn these ones in
+
+their sleep.
+
+MARISHA: Again with the burning thing.
+
+LIAM: Write what you know.
+
+MARISHA: So. Let’s search around and see if we can
+search the woods.
+
+SAM: Do a perimeter check?
+
+MARISHA: Perimeter check.
+
+SAM: Looking for secret entrances!
+
+MATT: All right. I will need both stealth checks
+from all of you.
+
+MARISHA: Super stealth.
+
+SAM: Stealthy searching!
+
+ASHLY: I’m at disadvantage?
+
+MATT: You’re disadvantaged with your stealth
+check.
+
+ASHLY: Well, I got a one, so there’s not going to
+get much worse than that.
+
+MATT: As you are having this discussion, what you
+can only amount to be like a large pile of pots
+
+being dropped onto the ground, Keg gets her foot
+caught right underneath a nearby tree root and
+
+just (crashing sound effect) onto the ground.
+Glancing over, you immediately see that one guard
+
+that was shooting at Frumpkin go like, “Hey, hey
+hey hey!”
+
+SAM: (whispering) Hey, let’s run back to town.
+
+MARISHA: Run! Yeah run! We run back to town. Fuck
+the perimeter search.
+
+MATT: Heading southward to town or, where are you
+doing?
+
+SAM: Southward to town.
+
+MARISHA: Away directly from the building.
+
+MATT: All right, and you guys go running as fast
+as you can towards town.
+
+ASHLY: Sorry sorry sorry!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Charging through the Savalierwood to find
+what hopeful aid or fortune you can. And that’s
+
+where we will end tonight’s session.
+
+LIAM: Good game.
+
+MARISHA: Great game!
+
+MATT: Well done, guys.
+
+SUMALEE: I didn’t have it in me anymore to do any
+more.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SUMALEE: I’ve already seen such scaring things!
+
+MATT: All right. We will pick up on that next
+Thursday, with both Sumalee and Ashly.
+
+ASHLY: Look who’s here!
+
+SAM: Look at this guy!
+
+TALIESIN: Goddamn it, you people! Hi!
+
+SAM: I’m Taliesin Jaffe.
+
+MARISHA: How was it from the lobby?
+
+TALIESIN: It was about ten seconds behind, mostly.
+Hi guys.
+
+SAM: Were you the little boy being eaten?
+
+TALIESIN: I was, in fact, the bear. Thank you to
+all those that guessed. I was the bear.
+
+MATT: Missed an opportunity.
+
+TALIESIN: Ah not yet, not yet! Ugh! Okay.
+
+MATT and TALIESIN: Maybe next week.
+
+MATT: Anyway, thank you guys! Amazing job!
+Sumalee, amazing!
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: Yes, Nila!
+
+MATT: Thank you guys for coming along with us. For
+those of you who we will see at Comic-Con, we will
+
+see you there! If not, you will see our panel on
+Tuesday in place of Talks Machina, so you can get
+
+caught up. In the meantime, just know that we love
+you. Have a wonderful weekend, and is it Thursday
+
+yet? Good night!
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
+episodes of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
+Dungeons & Dragons!
+
+SAM: Yay!
+
+MATT: We have returning this week our fantastic
+guests, Ashly Burch and Sumalee Montano. They’ve
+
+been amazing, we’re excited to have them back, and
+going to see what this next adventure of the
+
+story’s going to have. Before we get to that, we
+have some announcements to get through, beginning
+
+with our fantastic sponsor and friends at D&D
+Beyond. Sam?
+
+SAM: D&D Beyond, everybody, two new products have
+been announced on D&D Beyond. The Guildmaster’s
+
+Guide to Ravnica, alternate title is That’s So
+Ravnica, available for preorder now on the D&D
+
+Beyond marketplace, officially will be released on
+November 9th. Also, The Wayfarer’s Guide to
+
+Eberron, alternate title, The Werfernder’s Gerd to
+Erberron, available for purchase now on the D&D
+
+Beyond marketplace. As a reminder, anyone who
+already has purchased the Legendary bundle can
+
+pre-order or purchase these and any future content
+at a 15% discount, everyone. Which has the savings
+
+baked right in. I’ve been using D&D Beyond for a
+while now, and they just redid their layout, took
+
+me a while to get used to it. For those of you at
+home using D&D Beyond, I have a couple of tips,
+
+pointers, for the new layout, to remind myself
+where things are layed out. It’s like little
+
+mnemonics. It’s a weird thing. On the right side
+of the screen, you can remember “L E F,” so right
+
+sort of like, LEF, left, sort of. That’s where
+loot, equipment and features are. On the left, is
+
+“I A A,” insight and awareness. I’ll put that down
+here. Then in the middle, is “A T R,” which is
+
+things you can add to roll. ATR.
+
+LIAM: I have a mounting sense of dread.
+
+SAM: Right up top is “M S T,” which is makes
+saving throws. That’s what you add to make saving
+
+throws. That’s Sam’s little guide to how you can
+remember the layout of D&D Beyond. And that’s it!
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam! I hope that was as useful to
+you folks as it will never be to any of us. Thank
+
+you to D&D Beyond for being our awesome sponsor.
+Onto the next bit of business. For those who
+
+haven’t seen the announcement we had today, we are
+headed to London MCM Comic Expo in October,
+
+actually. October 27th and 28th, Critical Role
+will be in London! Super excited about that. We’re
+
+looking forward to meeting a lot of you European
+Critters out there. We’ve been trying to get an
+
+opportunity to go over there for a while, so glad
+we finally have the chance to come and hang out
+
+with you folks across the pond. You can go to
+critrole.com for details on it, and we look
+
+forward to seeing you then. Also, as a reminder
+for next week, we will not be broadcasting an
+
+episode next Thursday. Instead, we’ll be doing a
+live broadcast Friday evening from Indianapolis.
+
+It will be airing, this is Friday, August 3rd, at
+9:00pm Eastern time, that’s 6:00pm Pacific. So
+
+it’ll be an hour earlier than what you are used
+to, but it’ll be our live show at the Murat
+
+Theater in Indianapolis. Super excited about that.
+It’s going to be crazy. It’s going to be
+
+absolutely nuts. Other than that as well, we have
+up on our YouTube channel now the VOD of our Vox
+
+Machina character buildout for Pillars of Eternity
+II: Deadfire. I went ahead and messed around on
+
+stream for about an hour or so earlier this week
+to show you guys my interpretation of building our
+
+first campaign characters, Vox Machina, in Pillars
+of Eternity II: Deadfire, and if you want to check
+
+it out, it’s on the YouTube. That’s
+youtube.com/criticalrole, and you get to watch me
+
+make each character, and we hang out.
+
+SAM: I watched part of it.
+
+MATT: Did you really?
+
+SAM: It was pretty good, and I might watch it
+again so I can actually build those characters.
+
+MATT: I think you should, that surprised me. I’ve
+never really done a live stream of just myself
+
+playing a video game before, so that was very new
+experience for me. Thank you for your patience. Go
+
+check it out if you want to. Be sure to check out
+the Beast of Winter DLC for Deadfire is coming out
+
+soon. You can pick up the game at
+versesevil.com/criticalrole, and it’s a fun one,
+
+so check it out if you haven’t yet. Reminder that
+we do our Wyrmwood giveaways during the breaks,
+
+and they’re going to be happening over here at the
+Critical Role Twitch chat, so I’ll prompt you when
+
+we come to our mid break today, but we need you to
+come over to the Critical Role chat to enter the
+
+giveaway, and then head on back to Geek & Sundry,
+or wherever else you’re watching. That’ll be at
+
+twitch.tv/criticalrole. Talks Machina, our after
+show discussion about what happens this week will
+
+be happening next Tuesday at 7:00pm Pacific, here
+on the Geek & Sundry Twitch and Alpha, where our
+
+fantastic host Brian W. Foster interviews us, and
+makes us feel a little better about ourselves
+
+after the chaos the previous week had.
+
+SAM: I thought you were going to say makes us feel
+a little uncomfortable.
+
+MATT: That was the subtext I was going to go into,
+but I’ll leave that for you, Sam. I believe that’s
+
+all I have–
+
+SAM: There’s no merch, there’s nothing merchy?
+
+MARISHA: We made announcements online.
+
+LIAM: There’s brand-new merch, GenCon.
+
+SAM: I’m trying to honor the memory of Laura.
+
+MATT: It’s true!
+
+MARISHA: We’re trying to get better at spercing
+our announcements out through other things.
+
+MATT: So we’re not barraging the audience.
+
+SAM: So me talking right now is just wasting
+time.
+
+MATT: Yeah, essentially, yeah.
+
+SAM: Cool, cool cool.
+
+MATT: If you are curious about any merch stuff, we
+do have some new merch coming up at GenCon. You
+
+can go check it out at critrole.com for all the
+details.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: We’ve got some other fun surprises for folks
+that are coming, too. Anyway, much love, I think
+
+it’s time–
+
+LIAM: Oh, so tense.
+
+MATT: That we dive into tonight’s episode of
+Critical Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: Welcome back, everyone. Last we left off,
+The Mighty Nein, who had acquired two new allies
+
+in Keg, the dwarven fighter, and Nila, the firbolg
+druid, had made their way to the city of
+
+Shadycreek Run. After making your way through the
+town, spending an evening staying at the
+
+Landlocked Lady, and getting some information
+about where to find info about your quarry, and
+
+where your friends may have been taken to after
+they were captured by the Iron Shepherds, a
+
+traveling slavers crew.
+
+SAM: They’re the worst.
+
+MATT: They are the worst. You went and had a
+discussion at the Estate Sybaritic with Ophelia
+
+Mardun, of whom you were sent by The Gentleman to
+interface with and do a deed for her a little over
+
+two weeks ago. There it seemed that the intent of
+your job placed here in this city has aligned with
+
+your current goal of freeing your friends and
+seeking vengeance against the Iron Shepherds, as
+
+they currently work for a competitive family to
+the Mardun house, and in response to them
+
+destroying parts of the trade route that the
+Mardun family enjoys through the center and
+
+southern sides of the empire, they wish you to
+instill damage upon their traders as well, by
+
+eliminating the Iron Shepherds. You were given
+some ideas as to where you might find some help,
+
+you gathered your things, made your way north into
+the seemingly corrupted and haunted Savalierwood,
+
+to seek information about these Iron Shepherds and
+where they are. You narrowly avoided two large,
+
+immensely mutated, bone-spurred bear creatures.
+You sought out and cased the exterior of the Sour
+
+Nest, which is the fortress that was given to the
+Iron Shepherds by the family that pays them and
+
+keeps them in their employ. You decided to send
+your new druid friend, Nila, in the form of a
+
+small mouse, over the wall, delivery via owl. She
+snuck through some portions of the fortress to
+
+gather intel, and to get an idea of where you were
+going and what may reside within. A few close
+
+calls, and some discovery of what can be expected
+within the interior, you made your way back,
+
+safely, to join your friends.
+
+ASHLY: I forgot about the baby. (sigh)
+
+SAM: Oh yeah.
+
+ASHLY: Sorry, the meal that Lorenzo was having.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, yeah.
+
+ASHLY: Sorry. That just occurred to me.
+
+MATT: Upon accidentally spooking one of the outer
+guards who were walking the perimeter of the wall
+
+that surrounds the Sour Nest, you immediately
+picked up what you had, fled south, back through
+
+the Savalierwood, on your way to Shadycreek Run to
+look for means of possibly finding more help for
+
+this endeavor when nightfall hits, and whatever
+else you can do to prepare for the necessary
+
+evacuation of your allies. And that’s where we
+left off. Mighty Nein, as you’ve charged back
+
+through the purplish-gray corrupted Savalierwood,
+the midday sun barely visible through slight
+
+peaking cracks through the canopy above you,
+leaping and hearing these large growling sounds
+
+and hoots, you beeline it as best you can, and as
+quickly as you can, before you breach into the
+
+outskirts of the northern side of the North Clover
+area. You’re now between some of the nearby
+
+buildings, and you immediately begin to see some
+of the relatively shady denizens of this north
+
+side of Shadycreek Run that glance over their
+shoulder, their hooded selves watching you as you
+
+pass. You slow your gait, as you are no longer
+fleeing, per se, but you have made your way back
+
+to the town. What would you like to do?
+
+SAM: What time is it?
+
+MATT: At this point it would be midday, a little
+bit in the afternoon.
+
+SAM: Okay. Oh god! It’s midday! What do we do?
+
+ASHLY: We’re trying to gather allies right?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+ASHLY: That’s the plan.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, and we don’t have all the time in the
+world because we are trying to intervene before
+
+the worst happens.
+
+MARISHA: We mentioned about going and looking to
+see if a Tasker would be up to it. There were the
+
+Taskers, and there were the other group of hired
+workers.
+
+MATT: Yes, The Grunge Gang– The Grudge Gang,
+which the Taskers are a part of it.
+
+SAM: Wait, is is Grudge or Grunge?
+
+MATT: Grudge.
+
+SAM: Can I just say Grunge is better name?
+
+MARISHA: Is it like, the Grudge Gang is an
+umbrella corporation of the Taskers, or vice versa?
+
+MATT: Vice versa. The Grudge Gang is the
+overarching, loose network of mercenaries that
+
+sell swords and do not affiliate directly with any
+of the other political powers. They’re all just
+
+outside of the system within the town. The Taskers
+are a small subsect of the Grudge Gang that have
+
+taken it upon themselves to keep the peace to a
+certain extent.
+
+LIAM: Do we get a sense of the Taskers, are they
+just a group, like us? Like a small group, or we
+
+don’t know yet?
+
+MATT: Well, you don’t know. You’ve had some
+experience here. The Taskers, best that you can
+
+surmise, you haven’t had a lot of dealings with
+them, they are probably in the neighborhood of 30
+
+to 35 people. They are not a massive group by any
+means, and they’re stretched a little thin, but
+
+because a lot of them have friends within the
+Grudge Gang, and people they’ve worked with
+
+before, they can usually call upon friends if need
+be, especially if they have some coin to their
+
+side and they have a specific endeavor they need
+to do.
+
+ASHLY: Well?
+
+SAM: Do you think we should go talk one, chat one
+up?
+
+ASHLY: It seems like the best option to me. I’m
+not sure who else we could turn to.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, just to play devil’s advocate
+here, is it an issue if we get a hired mercenary
+
+group to kill another underground faction in their
+same town? Is that–
+
+ASHLY: Could it trace back to Ophelia, is that
+what you are saying?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I don’t know, it’s a weird
+political issue, hiring someone in the system.
+
+SAM: Maybe before we go randomly hiring people:
+what do we need to make this attack? We can
+
+probably get in. Also, we’re not attacking, right?
+We’re just going to go and try to rescue, or maybe
+
+pick off one or two of them, or smoke them out, so
+that the prisoners, or whatever, have to leave and
+
+we can rescue, right? We’re not trying to kill
+everyone in the motherfucking house, right?
+
+MARISHA: Well this Ophelia wants us to kill
+everyone in the motherfucking house.
+
+SAM: Well I just want to get our people out.
+
+LIAM: Then we are not fulfilling our
+responsibilities.
+
+SUMALEE: It will be impossible to save our friends
+without killing them.
+
+MARISHA: I think she’s right.
+
+LIAM: We go at night, and the first step is taking
+care of the two, there could be more, but two that
+
+we saw on the wall, whoever is on the wall at
+night, silently. Then, from all you’ve told us, we
+
+have– this might be incomplete information– but
+three. There is the shithead himself, and then two you saw.
+
+SUMALEE: At least two eating.
+
+LIAM: So three total that we know about.
+
+SUMALEE: But there were many more beds.
+
+MARISHA: Plus, who knows who could arrive in the
+time that we’re gone.
+
+LIAM: That is also correct.
+
+MARISHA: I think we need to be prepared for all of
+them.
+
+SAM: But are we going to hire muscle, or magic, or
+what are we trying to get? What helps us?
+
+MARISHA: I miss Jester’s healing spells.
+
+SAM: Maybe there’s a place to buy some potions.
+
+ASHLY: Well it seems like– I mean, I’m not the
+stealthiest person. It seems like having more
+
+numbers is a good thing. I don’t know if we could
+create a distraction of some kind, lead some of
+
+them away. I don’t know.
+
+SUMALEE: I can do that. I’m good at that.
+
+ASHLY: Diversions?
+
+SUMALEE: Yes.
+
+ASHLY: You’re very excited about this, Nila.
+
+SUMALEE: I want to get in there as fast as we
+can.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, look. The solution might end up
+solving itself, who know who in this town is even
+
+willing to go up against the Iron Shepherds.
+
+ASHLY: Wait, would I know–
+
+SAM: Wait.
+
+LIAM, ASHLY, MARISHA and MATT: Wait.
+
+ASHLY: The place where they keep the prisoners is
+underground?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+ASHLY: Could we just burn down the building? Burn
+down the motherfucking house?
+
+MATT: It’s mostly stone.
+
+ASHLY: Burn down the– is there wood in there?
+
+MATT: There’s elements of wood from a decoration
+standpoint, but for the most part, it’s a stone structure.
+
+SAM: We could bring in a lot of kindling.
+
+MARISHA: Smoke them out! That’s actually not a bad
+idea, now that I think about it, though.
+
+LIAM: When you were in this house, as a mouse,
+there was no way down there. It was a solid trap
+
+door. You don’t know what was under it?
+
+SUMALEE: I could hear them, but that’s the only
+thing that I could see.
+
+LIAM: What did you hear, specifically?
+
+SUMALEE: I heard voices, I remember that. I was
+trying to listen for my partner and my son. I know
+
+they were the voices of the captured people, the
+prisoners. I believe I heard voices as well of
+
+some of the murderers.
+
+LIAM: Well, we need to peel this like an onion. We
+need to, I believe, get some help. Get some
+
+reassurance. Outer layer of the onion is making
+sure we take whoever is on the walls, whoever is
+
+keeping watch, out, silently, so that we can begin
+anew with the building itself. I think that either
+
+you or my friend here should go in ahead of us so
+we have some idea of what is happening. Once in a
+
+while I turn this one into a spider. It is slow,
+but it is very undetectable.
+
+MARISHA: (laughing)
+
+LIAM: Do you feel differently?
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, I’m just imagining an infiltration
+with the spider, like that’s feasible.
+
+SAM: Tip of the spear!
+
+MARISHA: Go, Frumpkin, go!
+
+ASHLY: Get him! Now bite him!
+
+MATT: Lorenzo, felled by a brown recluse!
+
+MARISHA: Put him in his boot!
+
+LIAM: Truthfully, there are ways that I can hurt
+people with a spider, but I’m just talking about
+
+having a look around so that we are not walking
+into something different than what you saw last night.
+
+MARISHA: Sure. Literally anything is better than a
+spider, though. For that. I just want to point that out.
+
+LIAM: Well, I disagree with you.
+
+MARISHA: I mean they’ve got a lot of eyes, I get
+that, but I think in terms of a movement
+
+situation, spiders aren’t the best.
+
+LIAM: Agree to disagree.
+
+ASHLY: Do you guys need a second, should we take a
+smoke break?
+
+LIAM: You are new. This is very typical. It’s just
+part of the group dynamic. We are all friends.
+
+SAM: It’s like, have you ever seen a debate team?
+They pick one side, and the other, and then they
+
+just go at it for a while.
+
+ASHLY: There’s no really debating in Shadycreek
+Run. Mostly insult, kill, insult, kill.
+
+SAM: They should really start a debate club.
+
+ASHLY: We should really start the first one!
+
+LIAM: I am a master debater.
+
+ASHLY: Shadycreek Debaters? Side mission.
+
+MARISHA: Shady Debaters!
+
+ASHLY: Shady Debaters? That’s all I care about
+now.
+
+MATT: Well that’s our next merch piece there.
+
+MARISHA: Laura, make a Shady Debaters debate team
+shirt!
+
+MATT: Nope!
+
+LIAM: But we want to take numbers down, so we peel
+the outer layer separately. If all goes well, then
+
+there is whoever is upstairs. The big X factor is
+what is what is beneath. We don’t know how many
+
+people are underneath.
+
+SAM: You said the sleeping quarters are upstairs.
+If we went in the dead of night, and I know you
+
+have a spell that can lock a door, or shut a door
+or something?
+
+LIAM: If I can find materials in Shadycreek. I
+need gold dust, a lot of gold dust. How likely is
+
+that here?
+
+ASHLY: Would I know where to find that? Would that
+be the general store, would that have that?
+
+MATT: They may have it there, yeah. You haven’t
+had to acquire gold dust before, but if you were
+
+to ask around, you could see if there’s some place
+in the vicinity that might carry it.
+
+LIAM: To first get gold dust, I would need gold.
+
+ASHLY: Which we would also need to hire people.
+
+SAM: We have some.
+
+LIAM: How much do we have? I have next to
+nothing.
+
+ASHLY: I have 130.
+
+SUMALEE: I have ten gold pieces.
+
+SAM: Did you say ten?
+
+SUMALEE: Ten.
+
+SAM: Oh wow.
+
+SUMALEE: I am happy to contribute that.
+
+ASHLY: Is it 130 gold? Or is it silver that I
+have?
+
+MATT: 130 gold.
+
+LIAM: What about in the haversack? Does Jester
+have any funds in there?
+
+SAM: Oh. That’s a good question. I’ll reach in and
+see what she has.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve got a little bit of funds.
+
+LIAM: Text thread explodes in five, four, three.
+
+SAM: I need my thing? Where’s the currency in
+here?
+
+MARISHA: If you go under equipment–
+
+ASHLY: You don’t remember your handy acronym?
+
+SAM: I need it written down! Oh there it is.
+
+LIAM: Remember, “LIAM EATS FARTS.”
+
+SAM: “LIAM EATS FARTS!” That’s right, it’s right
+here. I have a few hundred gold.
+
+MARISHA: Same.
+
+ASHLY: Maybe we need people on the outside to take
+care of folks on watch. The onion you’re talking
+
+about, maybe the outer layers are the hired hands,
+and then we’re the ones who go in.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, it could be a group effort. I feel
+very confident for many of our skills for the ones
+
+on the outside. What I’m concerned about is
+entering the front door. What is behind? What I
+
+would like to do is go when they are sleeping and
+hopefully murder them in their sleep, is the best case.
+
+SUMALEE: Why don’t we call them out, then? Why
+don’t we make them come outside? We have more
+
+abilities outside.
+
+SAM: But then they’ll have weapons.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, the thing when someone is sleeping in
+a bed is they are like little– (whispering) I was
+
+going to say babies. I shouldn’t say that!
+
+SAM: Don’t say that to her, especially.
+
+SUMALEE: I cannot use my lightning inside. That is
+all I’m saying.
+
+ASHLY: What if we lure one of them out for you to
+fry like a chicken?
+
+SUMALEE: I would be okay with that.
+
+LIAM: There’s a little bit that we have to play
+this by ear. I think we should go at night to
+
+handle things when it is the least busy.
+
+ASHLY: Is there anything we’re missing?
+
+SAM: We have no way of healing ourselves if we
+die, unless you have healing potions on you.
+
+LIAM: Well, maybe we can find some in Shadycreek.
+
+ASHLY: I have two potions of greater healing.
+
+SAM: How many do we all have? She has two.
+
+MARISHA: I have one.
+
+LIAM: One.
+
+SUMALEE: Of what?
+
+MARISHA: Healing potions.
+
+SUMALEE: I have Healing Words.
+
+SAM, ASHLY, and MARISHA: Ooh!
+
+SUMALEE: Does that help?
+
+MARISHA: That does help!
+
+SUMALEE: Excellent! And I have those Goodberries!
+
+MARISHA: Those are good! Those are great!
+
+SUMALEE: And I can help give us extra power. In my
+clan, we have a bear spirit known as Oaktar. If I
+
+invoke the spirit of Oaktar, it gives us each
+extra power.
+
+ASHLY: Your clan sounds awesome.
+
+SAM: Do I have to go to church or anything?
+
+SUMALEE: No, you just have to be– I think it’s
+within 30 feet of where I put the spirit totem.
+
+LIAM: That seems strangely specific.
+
+MARISHA: I’m into it, yeah.
+
+ASHLY: So to Nott’s point, what do we need? We
+need fighters, we need magic? What do we need?
+
+MARISHA: I like the idea of getting some sort of
+fighter, especially if Nila can maybe take out
+
+that outer onion layer with the lightning. We
+should have found a better analogy.
+
+LIAM: Than an onion? Well, how about we’re just
+going to kill the people on the wall, how is that
+
+for a metaphor?
+
+MARISHA: I like that.
+
+LIAM: I like the idea of someone with a little bit
+of muscle and then another person who is adept at
+
+healing injuries.
+
+SAM: Well, we did hear about that weird– someone
+said that there’s some priest or something, or cleric?
+
+LIAM: In the woods.
+
+MARISHA: Ophelia mentioned that, yeah.
+
+SAM: Yeah, so we could go see if they could give
+us–
+
+MARISHA: Aid.
+
+SAM: Or come along?
+
+LIAM: Did Ophelia mention how far out into the
+woods that person was?
+
+MATT: Travel on foot is about roughly four to six
+hours depending on how well you can make your way
+
+through the terrain.
+
+LIAM: It is the same day?
+
+MATT: It’s like two in the afternoon, yeah.
+
+SAM: So we can make it tonight.
+
+MARISHA: I oddly trust that more than hiring
+someone from The Grudge Gang.
+
+LIAM: Ja, that is a good point.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like The Grudge Gang might have
+ties to the Iron Shepherds or at least an inside man.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, friendsies.
+
+ASHLY: I mean we could try, but if all they are is
+a healer–
+
+SAM: That would be amazing, though. I mean healing
+potions are nice, but we need someone who can– we
+
+get killed a lot or nearly, you know?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve seen some pretty badass priests in
+my day.
+
+ASHLY: Do I have any sense of–
+
+SAM: You have?
+
+ASHLY: She mentioned some of the kooky ones out in
+the woods, right?
+
+MATT: Yeah, she mentioned a Blooming Grove.
+
+ASHLY: Do I have any sense of what that is?
+
+MATT: You’ve not necessarily heard of The Blooming
+Grove. Roll a history check, actually.
+
+ASHLY: This not going to go well. 12.
+
+MATT: That’s not too bad. You’ve vaguely heard of
+The Blooming Grove, but it’s not referred to that
+
+very often. It’s more referred to do as The Bone
+Orchard.
+
+ASHLY: Hmm, less fun.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you haven’t been there, but from what
+you know, it’s this strange, ancient gravesite
+
+that’s been on the outskirts of town, a few miles
+out, since before the town was built.
+
+ASHLY: Are these healers considered by people in
+Shadycreek Run to be wackadoos? Or are they–
+
+MATT: From what you know, from what you’ve heard,
+everyone thinks they’re strange, creepy hermits
+
+and possibly witches. No one really goes there.
+Some folk in here tend to put on the air of not
+
+being superstitious, but the Savalierwood carries
+a lot of superstition with it. Some folks, while
+
+they may play it off, still seem to get a little
+nervous about delving too deep into it.
+
+ASHLY: Well, that is a good point. If this person
+lives in the Savalierwoods, then they’re not weak.
+
+There’s a lot of crazy shit in the woods, so they
+must be able to hold their own, or at least remain discrete.
+
+SAM: They don’t belong to any pact, or group that
+we would need to negotiate with?
+
+ASHLY: No, they live outside the– I mean, they’re
+not even really related to the clans.
+
+MARISHA: Did we hear what god they worship?
+
+MATT: You have no idea.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like if it was one of the accepted
+gods of The Empire, you wouldn’t have to hide out
+
+in the woods. I’m kind of into this idea.
+
+ASHLY: We can try.
+
+SAM: Is it worth asking a Tasker first? What would
+we even ask? Just how much it would be to hire you
+
+for some muscle?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah. They’re not affiliated directly. It’s
+better for them to not be affiliated with any
+
+particular groups, so– but you know. This is not
+a great place.
+
+LIAM: Well, we’re weighing two things against each
+other. One is expediency because there are many
+
+people in Shadycreek who could possibly lend a
+sword or ability. But I think that you are
+
+correct. That there is no telling their
+allegiance, and I’m not ruling them out, but this
+
+person out in the woods: probably not in the
+pocket of our enemies. We need to come to a
+
+decision promptly.
+
+ASHLY: Well, how hardy would you say the mental
+state of your companions is?
+
+MARISHA: The ones in captivity?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Oh, I thought you meant us, because we’re
+right here. We can hear you.
+
+ASHLY: No. I know that.
+
+MARISHA: Probably pretty unstable.
+
+ASHLY: What, do you think that they would be
+susceptible to torture?
+
+MARISHA: Being controlled.
+
+SAM: Fjord, probably not. Yasha’s probably is
+okay. Jester has already turned. She’s flipped.
+
+She’s probably flipped.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, then there’s no rush.
+
+LIAM: Or wrapped them around her finger, one way
+or the other. No, they are actually pretty–
+
+they’ve got their shit together.
+
+MARISHA: They arguably have their shit together
+way more than the three of us do.
+
+ASHLY: Would they look after–
+
+LIAM: A child?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, especially Jester.
+
+ASHLY: Then maybe it’s all right to take a little
+bit more time.
+
+LIAM: We have to make a decision.
+
+MARISHA: What time is it?
+
+MATT: Pushing past two to three in the afternoon.
+
+MARISHA: You said it’s four hours there.
+
+MATT: Four to six hours depending on how well you
+travel.
+
+ASHLY: We have our horses?
+
+SAM: Are we walking or horsing?
+
+MATT: That’s walking. Your horse isn’t going to go
+any faster than you in the middle of this very
+
+clustered forest. There’s no path that leads to
+it.
+
+MARISHA: Brisk power walk there, that’ll get us
+there right around sunset. Talk to people. Power
+
+walk back, should get us there back–
+
+SAM: For the Tonight Show?
+
+MARISHA: Yes, in time for Saturday Night Live.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLY: Lorenzo loves that show. He’ll be up
+watching it.
+
+MARISHA: Great.
+
+ASHLY: We’ll change the plan.
+
+LIAM: (announcer voice) Ophelia Mardun.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: We might be able to go and get back in
+time, is what I’m saying, and still be able to
+
+attack tonight.
+
+LIAM: To the household, ja. If we find what we
+find in the woods is helpful enough, and we feel
+
+good with what we got. Then in the middle of the
+night is a go.
+
+MARISHA: If it is a total bust, then that sucks.
+
+SAM: We can still find a Tasker.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, they don’t have a bedtime.
+
+MARISHA: That’s true.
+
+LIAM: We want to hit it at two or three in the
+morning.
+
+MARISHA: All right, let’s go. Are you good with
+that, Nila? You seem apprehensive.
+
+SUMALEE: I could check my smell bag, but I trust
+you right now.
+
+SAM: No, check your smell bag.
+
+SUMALEE: Oh thank you. It makes me feel so much
+better.
+
+SAM: See if it passes the smell test.
+
+LIAM: Whatever makes you feel comfortable.
+
+SUMALEE: This is for going to find the priest who
+has special abilities for reviving the dead and
+
+healing people.
+
+SAM: (fart noise)
+
+SUMALEE: Pretty good. Okay, this is for The
+Taskers and The Grunge Gang.
+
+ASHLY: She took your name for it.
+
+SAM: Oh, it’s a better name.
+
+SUMALEE: Did I mistake it?
+
+ASHLY and SAM: No, no.
+
+ASHLY: That’s perfect. Smell your bag.
+
+SUMALEE: It smells salty. Salty versus a little
+bit of a raw, but grounded spicy flavor. I like
+
+that one. Let us go see the priest. Thank you,
+smell bag.
+
+LIAM: You cannot argue with that.
+
+SAM: No. You cannot argue with someone who talks
+to a smell bag.
+
+ASHLY: That is accurate.
+
+SUMALEE: It has given me so much comfort over many
+years. I love it. Thank you.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MARISHA: Well, shall we?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+ASHLY and MARISHA: Let’s power walk.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+SAM: Butt-cheeks clenched.
+
+ASHLY: What’s the one where you wiggle? Is that
+power walking?
+
+SAM: Speed walking.
+
+MARISHA: You know like grandmas in malls, like
+around Christmas time.
+
+LIAM: Are we Prancercising?
+
+MATT: Everyone has their Fitbits attuned?
+
+MARISHA: Yes.
+
+MATT: First off, what’s your marching order,
+please?
+
+LIAM: Oh, also are our horses dead?
+
+SAM: No, we can take the horses. It wouldn’t speed
+us up, but at least we’d be on horses.
+
+MATT: You can take them with you.
+
+LIAM: But it wouldn’t speed us up, because it’s
+the woods?
+
+MATT: Because it’s like a thick wood.
+
+LIAM: Let’s walk.
+
+MATT: Okay. Who’s up front? Who’s in the back?
+Who’s guiding what?
+
+ASHLY: Would I know better, potentially, where I’m
+going? Should I be in front? Or have I never been to this?
+
+MATT: It depends. Whoever wants to guide this will
+be taking the survival checks to lead you through.
+
+So who wants to be making–
+
+SAM: Nila, you seem to know about the woods. No?
+
+SUMALEE: I would be happy to. Oh yes, survival is
+good for me.
+
+LIAM: I will walk just behind Nila.
+
+MAT: Okay, so Nila’s helming that.
+
+SUMALEE: You are relying on me. I’m very happy.
+
+ASHLY: Aww.
+
+LIAM: She’s just the biggest. I’m going to stand
+next to the biggest person.
+
+MATT: That’s a good call.
+
+MARISHA: That’s still reliance.
+
+MATT: Who’s behind or near Caleb?
+
+ASHLY: I’ll take up the back.
+
+MATT: All right, so Keg’s holding up the back.
+Beau in the middle?
+
+MARISHA: Nott, do you want the middle?
+
+SAM: Yes, please.
+
+MATT: There you go. I’ll put Frumpkin there, next
+to– okay.
+
+MARISHA: Fuh-wumpkin.
+
+MATT: Taking this moment now, you begin to head
+back away from Shadycreek, and helming this group
+
+of ragtag adventures you’ve under your wing. You
+tread into an area of the Savalierwood you’ve not
+
+traveled before hoping that your instincts, your
+smell bag, and the spirit of what nature has
+
+managed to maintain itself through this corrupted
+wood could guide you properly to your destination.
+
+I need you to make a survival check, please.
+
+ASHLY: She is superstitiously leading us around,
+just smelling.
+
+LIAM: Get it girl.
+
+SUMALEE: Oh.
+
+MARISHA: That was almost great.
+
+LIAM: Is there anything to add to– ooh.
+
+SUMALEE: Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten, okay. You still have your Luck feat if
+you want to, unless you want to save it.
+
+SUMALEE: Oh, yes.
+
+MATT: You have two more points left.
+
+SUMALEE: I think we should use it. Yes. I would
+like to use one Luck point.
+
+MATT: One more Luck point.
+
+SUMALEE: 17 plus seven. 24.
+
+MATT: 24, okay!
+
+SUMALEE: We shall survive.
+
+MATT: Not only do you swiftly manage to find the
+portions of the wooded paths that are least
+
+blockaded by thorny brambles and fallen
+half-rotted trees, but you also manage to help the
+
+party avoid a few small openings that look
+uniquely and uncomfortably welcoming. In the midst
+
+of a wood like this, you know from your experience
+as well, that it is not always a good idea to step
+
+where it seems most inviting, when you know the
+wood around you to be less so.
+
+MARISHA: (whispering) Yes, yes.
+
+MATT: As you crest around the second of these open
+groves, you notice how the ground itself seems to
+
+shift slightly, and you watch as for a moment it
+seems to almost pit as elements of the dirt suck
+
+inward. You know the antlion funnels that appear
+in the sand and begins to come in towards them.
+
+The ground almost seems to sink in for a second
+before righting itself. The grove stands flat once
+
+more, but thankfully, due to the survival
+instincts of your firbolg leader, you manage to
+
+careen past two of these patches without issue.
+Pushing on at a fairly intense speed, within three
+
+and a half hours, not even the full four–
+
+ASHLY: Hey!
+
+MATT: You manage to make your way to an area where
+the color notably changes ahead of you. The
+
+somewhat still purple-gray color that suffuses
+most of the natural landscape within the
+
+Savalierwood, gives way to a patch of green in the
+distance. This is the first sign that calls forth
+
+that warm sensation you got when you had checked
+this path within your smell bag. As the rest of
+
+you begin to gather up behind Nila, the closer you
+get you begin to watch as these winter trees, that
+
+comprise most of this northern forest, give way to
+green oaks and swamp-based plant life. The
+
+temperature, as you get to a certain threshold,
+begins to be not quite as biting cold, slightly
+
+warmer with each step. Looking around immediately,
+the first thing that catches your eye is this
+
+large wall of tangled vine and thorns. The same
+purplish-gray color. The green is still ahead of
+
+you. Do you guys want to continue on? Anything you
+want to do?
+
+ASHLY: You said there’s a wall of thorns?
+
+MATT: It looks like a natural wall that curls up
+about five or so feet.
+
+ASHLY: In our way.
+
+MATT: In your way, yes.
+
+SAM: How far to the sides does it go? As far as
+the eye can see?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: That’s sort of cocked. I’ll take it anyway.
+11 plus nothing.
+
+MATT: A little ways off it seems to dip a bit.
+Maybe about 100 feet or so to the northern side of
+
+it. You’ve been traveling northwest to reach this
+part of the forest.
+
+MARISHA: We can’t see over the wall?
+
+MATT: You can see over it a bit, as there’s only
+about five or so feet most places. As you get a
+
+little bit closer, you can see areas where these
+tangle of vines are pulled apart or have entirely
+
+enclosed, and you see long-rusted, wrought iron
+bars, a fence of some kind. A boundary that was
+
+placed long ago, that has since been slowly taken
+back by nature. You then begin to see that area of
+
+the wall that you had noticed, Nott, that had
+seemed to be bending, and the vines have actually
+
+curled over and bent it downward. It seems that
+whatever this little section of the forest is–
+
+whatever protective magics that once contained
+this outer vicinity have begun to give in to the
+
+corruption of the Savalierwood.
+
+SAM: Should we hop the fence?
+
+LIAM: One moment. I send Frumpkin up to flit about
+50 feet ahead to see if there is anything ahead,
+
+or from a bird’s eye view that we are unable to
+detect.
+
+MATT: Okay, make a perception check for Frumpkin
+with advantage because it is still in the owl form.
+
+LIAM: That is a 21.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin darts up, jumping from tree edge to
+tree edge, gliding through. There are numerous
+
+layers of similar walls. Three different layers,
+looks like. Whereas the outskirts or the perimeter
+
+of this beautiful, protected, ancient gravesite
+that once held this corruption at bay has slowly
+
+collapsed inward, and a new boundary is placed.
+Then that boundary has fallen. As the corruption
+
+pulls in further, a new boundary is built. That
+third boundary now seems to be in the process of
+
+giving in, just like its previous constructs.
+Within this third area, you can see not just a
+
+lack of snow, or ice, or the winter chill, but a
+nearly humid summer warmth, something more akin to
+
+the southern tip of the Empire or even Menagerie
+Coast. It is an unexpected and extreme shift in
+
+temperature and weather. There is something
+unnatural, or at least magical, that maintains
+
+this little pocket of untouched paradise. There
+you can see small pools, bits of bog where the
+
+soft green and browns of compost fall into green,
+thick, algae-covered bits of water. You can see
+
+dozens and dozens of stone tablets, about a foot
+to two feet high, with bits of script across them,
+
+too far to see, that have partially fallen or
+leaning. At which point Frumpkin looks around and
+
+this entire area, from the outer very edge where
+that first perimeter wall was found, to the inside
+
+has all been graves, most taken back by the
+Savalierwood as it slowly crushes whatever this
+
+location is at its source. On the far end, towards
+the core and the back– the northern side of this
+
+final, defending pocket of uncorrupted forest–
+you can see a stone building, maybe 20 by 30 feet,
+
+built as an old stone steeple. It stands
+windowless, open, and the floor of it to each open
+
+window overgrown with green vine and leaf.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin is how far from me at this point?
+
+MATT: Frumpkin is about 100 to 150 feet from you.
+
+LIAM: So I can only watch. I have muttered all
+this, watching. We are talking concentric rings?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I think this is the place.
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin begins to return, and a passing of
+one of the clouds gives more sunlight that breaks
+
+through what was previously a very dense, gray
+sky. As the light passes between the small breaks
+
+in the tree canopies, the green comes to light
+with color, numerous types of color. A rainbow of
+
+flowers, of pigments you’ve never really seen
+before, begin to emerge as the light hits it.
+
+Nearly every inch of these gravesites contain a
+smattering scatter of rainbow colors across petal
+
+and stamen.
+
+LIAM: I am beginning to think this a little more
+than we came looking for, but we have traveled a ways.
+
+SAM: Is there any sign of life? I mean, other than
+plant life?
+
+MATT: You saw maybe a few frogs, small natural
+creatures that exist within this space, but
+
+nothing that would resemble a human yet. It seems
+still.
+
+SAM and ASHLY: Let’s go in.
+
+SAM: How do we get over these things? Could we
+climb them or would we get cut to shreds?
+
+MATT: You can certainly try.
+
+ASHLY: How tall are the gates?
+
+MATT: The areas where the fence has been pushed in
+is between five to six feet in places, areas where
+
+it seems to be pushed down lower to about four to
+even three and a half.
+
+ASHLY: Your friend’s coat? I know it’s maybe
+not–
+
+SAM: You mean the tapestry?
+
+ASHLY: The tapestry. I know it might hurt it, but
+if we drape it over–
+
+MARISHA: We buried him with it.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, that’s right.
+
+MARISHA: But that’s a good idea.
+
+ASHLY: You want to go back? I could try to hack at
+it with my axe.
+
+SUMALEE: Could an animal jump over it?
+
+MATT: Yeah. You guys could attempt to climb and
+leap over. Elements of it are thorned and jagged.
+
+MARISHA: This is what I used to do to hop fences
+back in the day. I look for a few broken-down
+
+branches that might be my height.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: A handful.
+
+LIAM: We are going on a witch hunt. We can’t go
+over it, we can’t go under it.
+
+MARISHA: Ten.
+
+MATT: That’s fair. It takes you a few minutes and
+you find a couple of softer pieces of branch and
+
+vine that have fallen to the corruption. It’s
+interesting; you touch them and they’re supple
+
+like vines, but they’re gray and freezing to the
+touch. It’s a very weird, unnatural feeling, but
+
+it seems supple.
+
+MARISHA: Before I do anything with it, I take it
+over to Nila. Nila, have you seen any type of
+
+blight on a plant like this before? Do you know
+what this is? It’s cold, feel it.
+
+SUMALEE: You’re right. Do I know what this is?
+
+MATT: Make a nature check.
+
+SUMALEE: I love making nature checks. Yes! 17.
+
+MATT: You’ve studied and seen, within the vicinity
+of where you grew up and where your clan had
+
+raised you and your children, numerous types of
+disease and natural means of plant life succumbing
+
+to illness or an outside force. What you can tell
+is that this is not natural. This is not some
+
+naturally formed blight. There is some much older
+and much more powerful latent reasoning for this corruption.
+
+SUMALEE: I do not feel safe using it.
+
+ASHLY: I know this is well-worn dwarf goof
+territory, but does someone want to throw me?
+
+SAM: That seems very derogatory. Also you’re super
+heavy, though, aren’t you?
+
+ASHLY: That’s true. You all want to throw me?
+
+MARISHA: I take the branches and I try to lay them
+down over the vines a little bit and give a little
+
+less thorny of a ramp.
+
+MATT: You lean them up against it and slowly they
+bow over.
+
+MARISHA: Look, they hook all on their own, that’s
+pretty good.
+
+ASHLY: Good job, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Thank you, look at that!
+
+SAM: We could try to throw you.
+
+ASHLY: I guess it might make more sense to throw
+you, but I don’t want to–
+
+SAM: No, you can throw me, sure.
+
+LIAM: Caleb starts to climb over.
+
+MATT: All right. Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: 16.
+
+MATT: As you carefully place your hands across the
+elements of vine and root, you manage to keep a
+
+keen glance for any sort of bladed, thorned, or
+hooked elements that protrude from the local
+
+fauna. You manage to avoid any of them from
+catching your coat, catching your flesh, and step,
+
+leaping over to the opposite side without issue.
+
+SAM: That’s amazing! He’s amazing.
+
+LIAM: Nobody was aware I was panicked the whole
+time. The thorns are almost like small razors.
+
+SAM: I’m coming!
+
+LIAM: Careful.
+
+SAM: I’m just going to dash over.
+
+MATT: You’re just going to dash over? Make an
+acrobatics check.
+
+SAM: That was 12 plus… 19.
+
+MATT: Caleb has shown areas, as he passed over,
+where you can safely climb. The rest of you don’t
+
+need to make checks. Nott ignores this entirely
+and goes leaping and flipping and attempting to
+
+make her way over. The actual fence bends slightly
+at the impact of foot, the iron beneath having
+
+wilted due to long-form rust and whatever
+perpetual weight has been placed upon it from this
+
+land attempting to reclaim it from underneath.
+Nott leaps, double flip in the air, lands on the
+
+opposite side, skids a bit as your feet hit a
+slight bit of the icy floor, but you manage to
+
+catch yourself, no issue.
+
+ASHLY: Keg holds up a ten.
+
+MATT: Each of you make your way over this element
+of the forest, continuing on past the next two
+
+boundaries, eventually making your way into the
+central area of the Blooming Grove. The term now
+
+striking a bell as you look around and can see
+these beautiful flowers as the sun rays hit and
+
+pass. It’s like the color flares up once the light
+hits it and then seems to gray as it passes on.
+
+You now stand, temperature much warmer, and
+there’s just that stone structure ahead.
+
+LIAM: How far away is the structure?
+
+MATT: From where you’re standing on the interior
+of it, about 40 or so feet.
+
+MARISHA: On the tombstones that are around, do I
+recognize any of the language, or can I tell how
+
+old some of these gravesites are?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: 21.
+
+MATT: Looking through, there are a few languages
+that come through, most of them are elven and they
+
+are very old. Some of them appear to be 100, 200,
+400-500 years old. Whatever individuals or
+
+families or bloodlines have been interred in this
+space have been placed here for a very long time,
+
+until recently.
+
+MARISHA: Until recently, okay.
+
+MATT: You do see one that appears to be maybe
+about ten years old. Very faint elements of wear
+
+and tear.
+
+MARISHA: What’s the name?
+
+MATT: The name on that one would be Elvish and it
+would be Tyriel Casala.
+
+MARISHA: Tyriel Castala?
+
+MATT: Casala.
+
+MARISHA: Casala.
+
+MATT: She knows Elvish, but she doesn’t really
+speak it often, so the pronunciations get a little weird.
+
+LIAM: Domo arigato.
+
+ASHLY: So should I go knock on that door?
+
+SAM: Is there a door?
+
+MATT: There is a door, yes.
+
+LIAM: Hold on.
+
+SAM: How big a place is the door place?
+
+MATT: The door itself is maybe four feet wide,
+it’s a single door. It’s an old wood– the bottom
+
+half of it is green with growing moss and other
+bits of vegetation that are set in to the
+
+relatively damp wood that it’s constructed from.
+The top seems to be split and warped a little bit
+
+over time due to the moisture in the air.
+
+LIAM: Caleb tries to creep up to a gravestone and
+hide behind it to get within 30 feet of the door.
+
+MATT: Okay, make a stealth check.
+
+SAM: On the roof or the top of the– sorry.
+
+LIAM: Nine.
+
+SAM: On the roof or top of the structure, are
+there any holes or anything?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+MATT: Best you can see, no. It’s pretty well made.
+The walls and the roof all appear to be made from stone.
+
+SAM: But no windows or anything?
+
+MATT: There are windows. You can only really see
+the front and right side of it, the southeast side
+
+of it from your perspective– there is a single
+window. It is an arched window that looks like it
+
+may have been built at one point to hold glass or
+stained glass, but it is no longer there. You can
+
+see the soft, jungle-like flora at the base of it
+has swooped up and grown over and into the
+
+interior of the structure. Best you can tell from
+this distance, there is no visible light
+
+immediately inside, but there is a bit of natural
+light that is coming in through the open space.
+
+SAM: Can I go over to the window and take a peek
+in, stealthily?
+
+MATT: Sure, roll a stealth check.
+
+SAM: 12. I’ll take a big swig of booze and then go
+over and try.
+
+MATT: Okay. You begin to dart across the open
+space, dodging through gravestones and as you’re
+
+passing one of them, there is a bit of a thorned
+vine that catches the back of your cloak. It pulls
+
+taut before you get yanked on your neck, slip
+back, and Nott slams on the ground giving a little sound.
+
+ASHLY: Keg holds up a ten.
+
+SAM: Why do you have that with you?
+
+ASHLY: I’m trying a bit. I’m trying a new thing.
+
+MATT: There’s a brief pause, all of you hold in
+silence hearing a distant bird that goes quiet,
+
+the wind passing through the trees. You hear the
+wooden door begins to slowly open as a shaded
+
+figure steps beyond the frame. Taliesin, if you
+want to step in.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Finally! (laughing)
+
+TALIESIN: This is my stuff.
+
+LIAM: You’re really just a random shopkeep in the
+woods?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s dangerous to go alone–
+
+LIAM and TALIESIN: –take this!
+
+TALIESIN: Just going to get my stuff.
+
+MATT: Would you like to describe what they see
+emerge from this small stone temple?
+
+TALIESIN: From this small stone temple emerges a
+tall, not necessarily healthily thin firbolg, who
+
+is pale and a grayish color, and has a big shock
+of weirdly pink mohawk hair–
+
+LIAM: You don’t say.
+
+SAM: No!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going way off the reservation here.
+He’s a little gaunt. He’s got a little fuzz, he’s
+
+wearing this bizarre– he’s wearing this very
+gentle silk shirt that’s got one long, flowy
+
+sleeve. He’s got a cup of tea. He’s just staring.
+Huh. I think I’ve only got three more cups. Hold
+
+on. I go back in.
+
+SAM: (shouting) Do you know her? Do you know him?
+
+SUMALEE: It’s a firbolg! He is a firbolg!
+
+SAM: (shouting) Do you know him? What’s his name?
+
+SUMALEE: I do not! But he’s a firbolg! He is one
+of my people! (gasps) He is a firbolg. This will
+
+be good. My smell bag was right again!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to come out, I’m going to have
+a little kettle set up on a little tripod. I’m
+
+putting it down, I’m putting a big rod with a big
+purple chunk of amethyst on it underneath the
+
+kettle. Tapping it a couple times to get the
+kettle to start heating up. I’m going to wander
+
+into the graveyard and find some flowers for tea.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Can we tag along? Do you need any help?
+
+LIAM: Does he seem like he’s going to kill us?
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+LIAM: Thank you. 19.
+
+MATT: 19?
+
+LIAM: Nein-teen.
+
+MATT: There doesn’t seem to be any threat at the
+moment.
+
+TALIESIN: Mr. Clay, and nah, I’m fine. One
+second.
+
+SAM: He’s Mr. Clay.
+
+TALIESIN: I come back with a pile of red-purple
+flowers and I’m grinding up. This is from Casala.
+
+Textile family generations ago, but they make very
+good tea now. (sighs)
+
+MARISHA: Wait, back up a second. Are you Mr.
+Clay?
+
+TALIESIN: Mm. Caduceus Clay. Sit.
+
+MARISHA: Caduceus Clay.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to put out the three cups and
+wait for the pot to boil.
+
+SAM: Hello.
+
+MARISHA: Is that Caduceus with a K, or a C? Okay.
+
+SAM: Hi. Oh, we have to wait?
+
+TALIESIN: Pour out the three cups. You have to
+share, I apologize.
+
+ASHLY: I don’t drink tea. Booze is fine.
+
+LIAM: I come over and sit and take one of the
+teas.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb and I will share one and I hand the
+other to Nila.
+
+SUMALEE: I would love to try your tea.
+
+TALIESIN: Please, let me know what you think.
+
+SUMALEE: It is delicious.
+
+TALIESIN: Only grows here.
+
+SUMALEE: I would like to hug you.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, please. Come.
+
+SUMALEE: Nila gives him a big hug!
+
+TALIESIN: I haven’t had one of these in a long
+time. That’s nice.
+
+SUMALEE: I am from the Guiatao Tribe. Do you know
+us?
+
+TALIESIN: No. I’m sure they’re wonderful, though.
+That sounds just great. That sounds wonderful.
+
+Friends! (sigh) You have come. (sigh) Please, let
+me know what I can do for you. Usually when people
+
+come here, it is because of some great tragedy.
+How can I alleve your pain?
+
+LIAM: Oh, well, Herr Clay, we come to you with a
+great tragedy.
+
+MARISHA: A few great tragedies.
+
+LIAM: Do you want to, or should I?
+
+MARISHA: Well, the first one is, I think, it’s
+time for Caleb to have another bath. It’s been a
+
+little bit.
+
+LIAM: That’s the first one?
+
+MARISHA: Being without a shower has been a bit of
+a tragedy.
+
+LIAM: (whispering) Do we really have time for a
+comedy bit like this?
+
+MARISHA: No.
+
+SAM: We recently lost one of our friends.
+
+TALIESIN: I would assume.
+
+MARISHA: I didn’t want to open the gate like that.
+That’s why we’re here.
+
+TALIESIN: People who come here usually have.
+
+SAM: We aren’t here to bury him. He’s already in
+the ground. We’ve come to avenge him and we were
+
+hoping to find some help in these parts.
+
+TALIESIN: Avenge him? What happened?
+
+ASHLY: Do you know the Iron Shepherds?
+
+TALIESIN: Do I know the Iron Shepherds?
+
+MATT: You actually have not. You would have no
+idea.
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’m sorry, I really don’t get to
+leave very often, especially these days.
+
+LIAM: How long have you been alone out here?
+
+TALIESIN: (contemplative sigh) Been 20 seasons
+now, 18 seasons? Try not to count, it just gets in
+
+the way of more important things.
+
+LIAM: How many seasons has it been since someone
+has knocked on your door like we have?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s been about two seasons, I suppose.
+Little bit of business, but it’s been very slow.
+
+MARISHA: Do you only gauge time in seasons?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s the only time that seems to
+matter.
+
+MARISHA: That’s fair.
+
+SUMALEE: I agree.
+
+SAM: Do you work here? Is this your place? Do you
+own this land?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so excited!
+
+SAM: Are you the funeral director?
+
+TALIESIN: Most people who come here know what this
+place is, this is going to be delightful. I’ve
+
+never had to explain it to someone before.
+
+SAM: It’s a graveyard. It’s a boneyard.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, boneyard is a bit crass, but yeah,
+this is a place where we take the dearly departed
+
+who have done well and the people who have lived
+good lives and we put them into earth that has
+
+been touched by the Wildmother. In turn, she
+grants them with beauty and splendor and sometimes tea.
+
+SAM: Like a boneyard sort of a place?
+
+TALIESIN: More like a garden. We have been tending
+this garden for generations.
+
+MARISHA: We’re drinking dead people tea?
+
+TALIESIN: Aren’t we all?
+
+LIAM: That is a very fair point.
+
+MARISHA: Very true. But you’re cultivating dead
+people for good tea?
+
+TALIESIN: Aren’t we all?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, okay. Yeah. That’s a good point.
+
+LIAM: We are very random visitors from out of the
+blue. We do come to you with tragedy. We do have a
+
+friend in the ground. We do have friends who are
+in dire need of assistance. You help people into
+
+the ground, but offhand, do you help them out of
+the ground?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I mean, sometimes we can help
+people who are on the edge of death. We certainly
+
+understand that most people would rather spend
+their time alive than not, and that makes sense. I
+
+certainly have no interest in shortening my life
+any time soon.
+
+SAM: But you can’t bring someone back who’s
+already expired?
+
+TALIESIN: I mean, that’s very tricky. Once you’re
+dead, there’s a natural order to things. There’s a
+
+movement that things have to go, but in certain
+cases, I’m sure.
+
+LIAM: We’ve all read stories of the extraordinary,
+but you do not have this in your wheelhouse, you
+
+are saying?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I can sometimes help people. You
+never know.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, well, beyond helping our recently
+passed friend, how do you feel about helping
+
+people who are on the edge of life and death in
+captivity?
+
+LIAM: Three in the cage is worth one in the dirt.
+
+SUMALEE: There are firbolgs in this group, too,
+that need help.
+
+SAM: They’ve been kidnapped, including a firbolg
+child.
+
+MARISHA: And they might not have long to live.
+
+ASHLY: They’re being held by the Iron Shepherds.
+
+SAM: Who are bad guys. We’re good guys. Well,
+we’re sort of bad guys, too.
+
+MARISHA: We’re working on it.
+
+LIAM: We are not bad guys.
+
+ASHLY: We’re doing all right.
+
+SAM: Are you a bad guy?
+
+TALIESIN: You know, honestly, I don’t think I’ve
+had enough experience to have an opinion on that.
+
+I’m a good gardener.
+
+SAM: What do you grow, other than dead tea?
+
+TALIESIN: I grow lilies, I grow bramble,
+mushrooms, moss.
+
+MARISHA: Dead bramble. Dead mushrooms. Dead moss.
+
+LIAM: If you are saying that you are able to help
+people back from the brink of extinction, on
+
+occasion or under the right circumstances, I am
+going to hazard a guess that you could heal a
+
+wound in a snap, yeah?
+
+TALIESIN: Not with an actual snap, but yeah, I can
+do that. I don’t have to snap, though. I can be
+
+really quiet when I do it– pretty quiet, I
+actually have to say something, now that I think
+
+about it.
+
+ASHLY: I’m going to take a guess: you don’t
+leave here very much, do you?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve left a few times, I suppose. It’s
+been a while. I’ve been on my own for a while. It
+
+makes you get a little rambly.
+
+SAM: You’re stationed here? Are you allowed to
+leave?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a bit of a story. My family have
+run this temple for generations, and I’m sort of
+
+the last one left holding the fort down.
+
+SAM: No cousins or anything?
+
+TALIESIN: No cousins. A couple sisters, a brother,
+my parents, but everyone’s either wandered off to
+
+help try and fix what’s been going wrong or has
+been put into the earth.
+
+SAM: What’s been going wrong? What’s that? What’s
+going wrong?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, as I’m sure you’ve possibly
+noticed, and I apologize if I’m breaking some
+
+terrible news to anyone who didn’t, the forest
+beyond my little patch of earth is a little
+
+unsavory. It’s dark. It can be a bit dangerous.
+Don’t recommend going out alone. It has been
+
+overtaking our temple for the last hundred years,
+and recently has breached the walls again.
+
+SAM: So your family is trying to fix that?
+
+TALIESIN: The last one to leave was my sister. She
+went east.
+
+LIAM: Now it’s just you.
+
+TALIESIN: Now it’s just me. It’s not much to hold
+down at this point.
+
+ASHLY: Why do you stay?
+
+TALIESIN: Honestly, because it’s a little
+dangerous for a lone person to leave. I figured
+
+I’d sit here with a kettle and wait for someone to
+come along, and maybe see if I can make my way out
+
+of here and figure out what’s been happening in
+this place.
+
+LIAM: Well, you’re double lucky.
+
+SAM: This is great. So you don’t have to check in
+every night, and be here to punch in and punch
+
+out? You could leave whenever you want?
+
+TALIESIN: I could leave whenever I want, sure.
+
+MARISHA: Is there a watering system, or can you
+put it on a timer if you’re not going to be here?
+
+SAM: A drip-line?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a really good idea. I don’t… I
+mean, if you guys in a serious rush, if you could
+
+help I’m sure we could figure out–
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we’re in a rush; maybe after.
+
+LIAM: Herr Clay, we are dealing with a
+time-sensitive situation. You are looking for a
+
+segue out of this predicament you’re in?
+
+TALIESIN: Mmm.
+
+ASHLY: I feel like it’s only fair to warn you: if
+you were to come with us, we’d be asking you to go
+
+into a situation that’s not very safe.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you inviting me to come with you?
+
+SUMALEE: Yes, very much.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, yeah, sorry– did we not–
+
+SAM: We came here seeking help in a mission that
+we’re about to go on.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s excellent. You’re lucky I came
+along, then. This is going to work out really well.
+
+MARISHA: Well, we came to you.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, you’re lucky that I stayed right
+here so that you intercepted me, because if I had
+
+wandered off ten, 15 feet this may have never
+happened.
+
+LIAM: Herr Clay, we should be very honest with
+you. We are intending to do good by people who
+
+deserve it. A young one. Good people. But we are
+going to do very difficult business tonight or tomorrow.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I don’t know if I think that
+anyone deserves anything, but I don’t like cages,
+
+and I’m really–
+
+MARISHA: You don’t have a particular penchant or
+sympathy towards people who eat babies, do you?
+
+TALIESIN: That seems a little specific. I’m mostly
+interested in trying to take care of the natural
+
+order of the world and nature itself.
+
+ASHLY: Does murder end up on that checklist?
+
+TALIESIN: Have you ever been in nature? Yes.
+Violence is extremely natural.
+
+ASHLY: Tight.
+
+SUMALEE: No, the people we are after have done
+terrible things. They have upset the balance of
+
+nature so much by what they have done. They do not
+deserve to live. Please come with us. I have an
+
+idea. If you can come with us, maybe some of the
+firbolgs from my tribe can come help you here
+
+afterwards– can help keep the temple afterwards.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I don’t know about deserve, but I
+think there’s always somewhere there’s a plant
+
+that needs some compost, and I’m happy to make
+some more if it’ll make people happy.
+
+MARISHA: Was that you saying you’re willing to
+kill people and put them in the ground to make compost?!
+
+SAM: I think so.
+
+TALIESIN: You got a lot of aggression. You got a
+lot of anger.
+
+MARISHA: Oh man, you’re seeing me at a relatively
+calm moment, actually.
+
+LIAM: Welcome to The Mighty Nein.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s only–
+
+MARISHA: Don’t overthink it.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay!
+
+SAM: Do you know Pumat Sol, by any chance?
+
+ASHLY: Nott!
+
+SAM: What?
+
+TALIESIN: Is that a time of plant?
+
+SAM: All right, then no. No, I just had to ask.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve actually already packed; I’ll go
+get my things.
+
+SAM: What?! Wait, what would we owe you for this?
+
+LIAM: Do you require anything?
+
+TALIESIN: I do; I may ask for it later.
+
+SAM: Money?
+
+LIAM: You’ll have it.
+
+SUMALEE: Firbolgs do not need money.
+
+LIAM: You’ll have it.
+
+SAM: Tea?
+
+TALIESIN: I like this one. I’ll go get my green
+beetle armor.
+
+SAM: What?
+
+SUMALEE: (excited gasp) I have not come across a
+firbolg with green beetle armor!
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you. My sister made it; I’m very
+proud of her.
+
+MATT: It’s a chitinous-looking metal breastplate
+that has a somewhat pearlescent turquoise
+
+green-blue tint to it that seems to shift in the
+light.
+
+TALIESIN: I get a big, knotted, wet-looking stick
+that is covered in lichen. The armor is also
+
+covered in lichen. It’s a big growing, living wet
+thing. It has a big purple amethyst rock at the
+
+top of the staff. I get a little shield also made
+out of beetle.
+
+LIAM: Motherfucking druid.
+
+MARISHA: (whispering) Fungal armor!
+
+TALIESIN: (sighs) Give me a minute. Just going to
+walk around once, take it in.
+
+SAM: If the thing he needs from us is our blood or
+something, shouldn’t we know that in advance? We
+
+should find out what he wants from us before we
+just blindly agree to this. What if he wants Keg?
+
+LIAM: (whispering) We’ll figure that out.
+
+SAM: Some sort of, like, concubine thing? I don’t
+know! What if he’s creepy or freaky like that!
+
+ASHLY: I’m kind of into that.
+
+SAM: Really?
+
+ASHLY: I’m not picky.
+
+SAM: Wow.
+
+MARISHA: Your blood– you got some to spare. You
+can get more of it. That’s how your body works.
+
+SAM: What?!
+
+SUMALEE: He does not seem freaky to me at all. He
+seems very nice. Like a normal firbolg.
+
+SAM: (warily) Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. I’m ready to leave. This is
+going to be a little much, but I think I can do
+
+it. I’m ready.
+
+MARISHA: Hey Clay? Did you bury Tyriel Colsala
+here?
+
+TALIESIN: Casala?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, him. That’s what I said.
+
+TALIESIN: What did you think you were drinking?
+
+MARISHA: (accented) Casala?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. That’s very close. It’s good. It’s
+always worth trying.
+
+MARISHA: Were you around when you buried him?
+
+TALIESIN: Casala family, I think we have eight in
+their generation; I was only here for the last two.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+LIAM: So! Let me tell you about the murderers we
+are dealing with.
+
+SAM: While we walk.
+
+MARISHA: Power walking?
+
+ASHLY: Yep.
+
+MATT: All right. Making your trek back to the
+forest. Are you helming this as well?
+
+LIAM: First, there was the dinosaurs.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SUMALEE: May I helm it with Clay?
+
+TALIESIN: Caduceus. Caduceus Clay. You can call me
+Clay.
+
+SUMALEE: Caduceus.
+
+LIAM, MARISHA, and SAM: Deuces!
+
+SUMALEE: Deuces Clay.
+
+SAM: It is decided.
+
+TALIESIN: I have been trying not to show you this
+art for two weeks now.
+
+MATT: Caduceus, are you wanting to help? Or Nila,
+I think, is asking for your help in fording this
+
+forest, as you have a little more experience.
+
+TALIESIN: Sure!
+
+MATT: So make your survival check with advantage.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+SAM: Where are we going? Back to town, or straight
+to the–
+
+ASHLY: Oh yeah. Do we want to go and try to get
+some Taskers on our side? We have a healer now,
+
+but we still don’t have–
+
+SUMALEE: 21.
+
+MATT: 14 and a 14.
+
+SUMALEE: I got 14 and 14.
+
+MATT: It’s up to you guys.
+
+SUMALEE: I don’t think we need them.
+
+ASHLY: You don’t think we need any more help?
+
+MARISHA: We might be all right.
+
+SAM: We don’t even know what he does!
+
+ASHLY: I’m with Nott!
+
+SAM: He’s a firbolg, yeah, but… Hey, Mr. Clay?
+I’m going to shoot Beau with my crossbow.
+
+TALIESIN: That doesn’t seem like a very good
+idea.
+
+SAM: Oh, I missed.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: (arrow whizzing away)
+
+SAM: 12.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, no.
+
+SAM: Sorry, I was just going to test if he could
+really heal you.
+
+MARISHA: The fuck?!
+
+SAM: I’ll shoot again with my bonus action! That’s
+a natural 20.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: You make me figure out how to do this.
+
+SUMALEE: Don’t worry, I can cure them, too.
+
+SAM: Not a sneak attack, because she was looking.
+Oh boy. That’s ten, but it’s a crit. Does that do anything?
+
+MATT: Well, you double the dice that you rolled.
+
+SAM: Okay, so that’s 12 plus four is 16.
+
+MATT: You take 16 points of piercing damage,
+Beau.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to try to catch it.
+
+MATT: Okay, go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I roll a d10.
+
+MATT: Roll a d10.
+
+MARISHA: A ten! Plus my monk level, right? Which
+is five.
+
+MATT: I think so. Is that what it says right
+there?
+
+LIAM: So only one hit point?
+
+SAM: Just the tip.
+
+MARISHA: 1d10 plus eight. Oh, it’s my monk level
+plus my proficiency bonus, so no damage.
+
+MATT: It goes for right underneath where the
+clavicle and the neck meet and catches it right there.
+
+SAM: Oh, but with this crossbow, when I roll a
+natural 20, it shoots another one immediately.
+
+MATT: That’s right!
+
+SAM: Do I have to roll for that one?
+
+MATT: You have to roll to attack.
+
+SAM: That’s a 23 to hit.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll damage on that one.
+
+SAM: Eight.
+
+MATT: What happens is you pull back to fire, and
+as it gets ready to go ahead and extend it looks
+
+like another bolt slips up into it accidentally
+and it fires two in a row. Beau catches one and is
+
+like “Ugh, ow!” and there’s a second one that’s
+jammed right into the space between two ribs.
+
+ASHLY: What the hell, Nott!
+
+SAM: First of all, that was cool. And this was
+cool!
+
+MARISHA: And third of all, that was a killing
+blow!
+
+SAM: Now, do your thing!
+
+MARISHA: You could fucking kill me!
+
+TALIESIN: Is she always like this? This seems kind
+of extreme.
+
+SUMALEE: This is the most extreme I’ve ever seen
+her.
+
+SAM: Do your thing!
+
+MARISHA: I’m keeping this bolt, this is mine now.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I rip the other one out. Yeah! I put
+that, and I’m keeping this one, too!
+
+ASHLY: Keg is aroused.
+
+TALIESIN: Come here. All right, and I get in there
+and I’m going to do Cure Wounds and there’s going
+
+to be a little bit of lichen that grows on the
+wound really quickly.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t infect me!
+
+TALIESIN: It’s fine. Do I roll for that?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s a d8 plus your wisdom modifier.
+The wound seems to close as you watch this–
+
+TALIESIN: Six points of damage– six points of
+healing.
+
+MATT: You go up by six. You watch as this bright
+red-pink colored lichen, mossy material, seems to
+
+come out of the wound and close it and then turn
+gray, break away, and crumble off. Where it is,
+
+the wound seems to have closed and healed over,
+like weeks of healing have gone by.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, this shit’s dope.
+
+SAM: You’re welcome.
+
+ASHLY: Probably a different way we could have
+demonstrated that, Nott.
+
+TALIESIN: It felt very–
+
+MARISHA: That wasn’t for you. Never mind.
+
+SUMALEE: They can be strange, but they are good.
+
+TALIESIN: Honestly, it’s been so long since I’ve
+been around anybody, I genuinely wouldn’t have
+
+been able to tell.
+
+MATT: In making your journey back toward
+Shadycreek Run, the sun does set part way through
+
+your journey. The forest goes dark, nearly pitch
+black. Now, I believe all of you but Caleb have
+
+some sort of darkvision. At this point, the
+crickets start coming out very loudly, the distant
+
+sound of skittering and animal movements through
+brush and dry leaves catch the outside of your
+
+peripheral. You manage to stop every now and then,
+as Nila puts her hand up, listening and smelling
+
+for anything nearby. Are you guys continuing at a
+fast pace, or are you attempting to be stealthy?
+
+ASHLY: Well, did we decide what we’re doing?
+
+MARISHA: I think we were going to go straight
+there.
+
+ASHLY: We’re going straight to the Shepherds?
+
+MARISHA: It’s on the way.
+
+LIAM: We didn’t really discuss; we got
+distracted.
+
+MATT: That’s true. Are you guys heading back to
+Shadycreek, or are you heading straight to the
+
+Sour Nest?
+
+SAM: Is it on the way?
+
+MARISHA: It’s on the way. I say we at least stop
+by and scout it.
+
+SAM: If it’s more or less on the way then yeah, we
+can at least swing by.
+
+MATT: It’ll add an hour or so to go into
+Shadycreek. Essentially this is Shadycreek Run at
+
+the bottom of the forest and you’ve traveled, from
+your perspective, far northwest to get to the area
+
+where you met Caduceus. You’re now heading back
+down and the Sour Nest is on the northeastern side
+
+of the city, just outside of it, so you have to
+scoot and ricochet off.
+
+SAM: So we’d have to go through the town just to
+get there?
+
+MATT: No, you could go straight to it through the
+forest, but it depends on what you want to do. If
+
+you’re going straight there or if you’re wanting
+to skim through Shadycreek, it’s your choice.
+
+MARISHA: How long after dusk has it been?
+
+MATT: The sun set. With that roll you made, you’ll
+be arriving at Shadycreek Run at about 10:00pm.
+
+LIAM: We are going to find somebody, spur of the
+moment, tell them to come with us out to the
+
+woods? To do a bit of dark business?
+
+MARISHA: Are you being facetious? I can’t tell.
+
+LIAM: No, I don’t know if that’s a good idea, I
+don’t like our options at the moment, any of them
+
+really. I feel like we don’t have– we are one
+more person than when we got our asses handed to
+
+us on the road, and we thought we had the upper
+hand then. Now we have one more, that is better,
+
+but if we go to the town and we find a couple of
+ne'er-do-wells who’ll work for coin, we are
+
+convincing them to come with us right away, into
+the woods. Into the woods.
+
+SAM: Into the woods and out of the woods?
+
+TALIESIN: That would be the hope, I imagine, you’d
+leave the woods once you went into the woods. I
+
+mean, you don’t just want to sit there. I mean,
+that’s what I do, but I’m not sure that was really
+
+a great decision, so, yeah, huh.
+
+SAM: Are you talking to us?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just thinking out loud. I’ve had a
+few years to just think out loud.
+
+SAM: How old are you?
+
+MARISHA: How many seasons old are you?
+
+TALIESIN: Been about 100, give or take.
+
+SAM: But there’s four seasons? Or is it three
+seasons up here? I don’t know.
+
+MARISHA: 25.
+
+SAM: He’s between 25 and 100.
+
+TALIESIN: That’ll do.
+
+LIAM: What do you think?
+
+MARISHA: I’m still afraid if we roll into
+Shadycreek– once again, just pointing out what we
+
+are: two firbolgs, a goblin, and then some kind of
+acceptable-looking people and someone with a
+
+reputation. Well, by society’s standards.
+
+ASHLY: A lot of shade just got thrown.
+
+MARISHA: Look, come on!
+
+LIAM: If we do that, the three of us would do the
+talking, naturally.
+
+MARISHA: I’m just saying, we will draw attention
+to ourselves, and then we might go around asking
+
+people to kill the Iron Shepherds, and that might
+draw more attention to ourselves in a town that it
+
+feels the Iron Shepherds kind of run. Or at least
+have a better foothold in it than we do.
+
+ASHLY: How would this be different? That’s my
+question. One more person, sure. A healer? Sure. But–
+
+LIAM: Well, we could take them at night, which we
+did not do before. Some of them would be awake,
+
+probably not all of them. We had the element of
+surprise before, we hopefully have it now.
+
+ASHLY: They’re on home turf.
+
+LIAM: Home turf is big.
+
+SAM: Can I just say, again, I don’t give a shit
+about Ophelia’s request or The Gentleman’s offer.
+
+I just want to get all of our friends and get out.
+If we can kill them, great, but if our aim is not
+
+to kill them it makes this a much easier mission.
+
+MARISHA: Do you know Ophelia, Clay?
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, you just had a face like you
+recognized.
+
+TALIESIN: I had to think a little bit about it,
+but no.
+
+LIAM: You know, Nott, I agree with you. The most
+important thing is getting the people who are in
+
+that basement. The most important thing. You’ve
+always got to improvise.
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+ASHLY: So you’re saying go in with the plan of
+killing them and then switch it up if need be?
+
+LIAM: The only thing that I believe is known is
+taking care of the people on that wall, anyone
+
+outside. I will send Frumpkin around to see if
+there are more than just these two, then we will
+
+have decisions to make. We will need to send in
+Frumpkin again or our new friend here. One of us,
+
+one of them and make a plan from there. That is
+all we know now. We need to do something and I
+
+feel a little on edge with our numbers, but I am
+maybe more on edge by the ticking clock.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+SAM: Let’s swing by the baddies’ house and just
+see what’s going on?
+
+MARISHA: Anyone in particular feel super strongly
+about going and getting more help? Should we put
+
+it to a vote?
+
+SUMALEE: Do you carry a smell bag?
+
+TALIESIN: A what?
+
+ASHLY: So much disappointment.
+
+SAM: She sniffs a purse every time she wants to
+make a decision.
+
+ASHLY: It’s worked out so far.
+
+SUMALEE: It’s filled with things from nature that
+I find significant.
+
+TALIESIN: That seems like a really good idea
+actually. I should start doing that.
+
+SUMALEE: It helps me so much.
+
+TALIESIN: What a good way to make a decision.
+
+MARISHA: What does your smell bag say? Do we go
+and we get more people or do we go to the house?
+
+SUMALEE: I do not need to check it. No smell check
+necessary.
+
+MARISHA: Make a smell check.
+
+SUMALEE: I just want to go. It will be okay. We
+have two firbolgs.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, she’s so convincing.
+
+ASHLY: Nila, I love your enthusiasm, but again,
+they’re on home turf, they have more people than I
+
+thought, more abilities than I thought. I mean, we
+hire a couple of Taskers. I know it’s not ideal, but if–
+
+MARISHA: All right, new plan. We split the party!
+
+SAM: No! Terrible idea.
+
+MARISHA: Half go to the house, the other half go
+look for more help and then we meet you.
+
+SAM: How’s the half at the house going to do?
+
+MARISHA: Watch.
+
+SAM: No.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+SAM: Let’s swing by the house and check it out. If
+there’s a raging party, we’ll just continue on to
+
+town. If it seems dead, maybe we’ll do a little
+recon. If the recon goes well, maybe we’ll do a
+
+little insertion.
+
+ASHLY: Are you describing a date right now?
+
+SAM: The insertion goes well, maybe we go steady.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know what any of that means.
+
+SUMALEE: You will get used to it. I just laugh
+along now.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+ASHLY: Look, they’re your people, so I’ll leave it
+to you guys, but I don’t love the odds.
+
+SUMALEE: I know because of your abilities, if we
+can draw more of them outside, we will stand a
+
+better chance. We will have more power than you
+had last time.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go to the house.
+
+SAM: We’re just going to watch.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: We’re going to see what it’s like at night so
+if we have to come back tomorrow night, we’ll know
+
+what to expect. Are there more guards at night? We
+don’t know, they could have six more dudes who
+
+come up there at night.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go. We’re wasting time just
+talking.
+
+SAM: We’ll just look.
+
+MARISHA: We’ll go look.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you head straight to The Sour Nest?
+All right. Over the next couple of hours, you make
+
+your way, scooting as opposed to the more southern
+direction you were traveling, heading eastward.
+
+Carefully making your way on the outskirts of the
+northern side of North Clover of Shadycreek Run, I
+
+need you all to make stealth checks.
+
+MARISHA: Shit.
+
+MATT: Disadvantage for you, Keg, unfortunately.
+
+ASHLY: Fuck.
+
+TALIESIN: Tonight, can I just politely ask the
+forest to just give us a round this time, just in
+
+case? I want to talk to a couple of trees, see if
+they’d be all right just giving us a little passage.
+
+MATT: Okay. Roll a wisdom check.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. Wisdom save or wisdom check?
+
+MATT: Wisdom check.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. 21.
+
+MATT: You bend in quietly, placing your hand
+against one of the nearby trees, the bark being
+
+cold and somewhat soft from the moisture of the
+snow that had melted from the day before. You feel
+
+the oppressive sense of the central nature that
+encompasses the Savalierwood give way ever so faintly.
+
+ASHLY: Wait. Maybe a stupid idea. You guys can
+talk to plants. Plants are neutral. What if we
+
+lead them into the woods?
+
+SAM: What?
+
+SUMALEE: Now you’re thinking like I was. I didn’t
+have that specific idea–
+
+ASHLY: The Iron Shepherds. We could lure them into
+the woods.
+
+SAM: And then what?
+
+ASHLY: We fight them in there.
+
+SUMALEE: We can have the plants entangle them.
+
+ASHLY: I don’t know, it could be a backup if this
+plan goes south, if they wake up or something. But
+
+if they can talk to the plants– the woods are
+anyone’s game. They’d be fighting other creatures,
+
+not just us.
+
+LIAM: But what is it that lures the Shepherds out
+of their hole?
+
+SAM: They won’t leave.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve got fireworks.
+
+SUMALEE: I can put a stink bomb inside. Really
+stinky, not like what you call my stink pouch.
+
+LIAM: That will put them in the courtyard, it will
+not probably put them in the woods.
+
+SAM: We’d need to take one of theirs, take Lorenzo
+or something. They’d have to come after us. There
+
+would be no reason for them to leave.
+
+ASHLY: Do I know if Lorenzo is a loyal person,
+like would he give or would he just let someone
+
+die if they got taken?
+
+MATT: Best that you can tell, he’s not a “leave no
+man behind” type individual.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: He isn’t?
+
+MATT: He is not.
+
+ASHLY: But he is a vengeful type of individual?
+
+MATT: He’s definitely a fan of an eye for an eye.
+
+ASHLY: If it goes south, and we manage to kill one
+of them, he might chase us.
+
+LIAM: True.
+
+SAM: Or maybe not.
+
+ASHLY: Or maybe not. It could be a backup.
+
+SAM: No, it’s good.
+
+LIAM and MARISHA: Let’s go.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, stealth checks, right.
+
+MATT: Stealth checks.
+
+TALIESIN: First stealth check. Where’s my stealth?
+Seven.
+
+SAM: 26.
+
+ASHLY: Seven.
+
+LIAM: Ten.
+
+MARISHA: 12.
+
+SUMALEE: 20.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+ASHLY: These are such bad stealth checks.
+
+MATT: Thanks to you speaking with nature, I am
+ignoring one of the lowest stealth rolls.
+
+ASHLY: Only one?
+
+MATT: Even still, you approach the outskirts of
+The Sour Nest. The clouds of the night are broken
+
+here and there, the very darkened night
+occasionally broken by the errant moonbeam that
+
+manages to sweep through the open grove where this
+fortress was built. The canopy itself cleared out,
+
+leaving it open for the occasional peek of white
+through the clouds. The same perimeter wall you
+
+see being slowly trained across by two guards
+dressed in the same hooded attire as those that
+
+you previously saw. As you saw as well bringing
+the three carts northward from the Glory Run Road.
+
+As you begin to approach, Keg, unfortunately,
+manages to step on a hornet’s nest. It crunches
+
+under your foot, and, for a brief second, you
+inhale very sharply knowing this familiar sound–
+
+This is not the first hornet’s nest you’ve stepped
+into. Thankfully, a moment passes, no hornets. It
+
+was abandoned and had fallen from a tree. However,
+you do hear a voice on the wall say, “Hello?”
+
+ASHLY: Shit.
+
+SAM: How far?
+
+MATT: About 70 feet from you.
+
+LIAM: I think we might be doing this now, so be
+prepared for it.
+
+ASHLY: I don’t want to put Frumpkin in danger, but
+could we pretend it was Frumpkin, if he shoots out
+
+or something?
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin shoots up into the air and bounces
+off a tree.
+
+MATT: (hoots) “Oh, there you are again, you
+sucker.” He’s going to raise a crossbow again.
+
+ASHLY: Oh no! Oh my god, if I kill someone again!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: That is a 13 to hit. What is Frumpkin’s
+armor class as an owl?
+
+LIAM: I have an owl here, it is– That hits.
+
+ASHLY: Oh!
+
+SAM: Burch-icide!
+
+ASHLY: Shit!
+
+MATT: That is four points of piercing damage to
+Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin is alive!
+
+SAM: What?!
+
+MATT: How many hit points does the owl have?
+
+LIAM: Well, it’s 1d4 plus one, and I rolled it
+last time, and I rolled a four, so it’s 1d4 plus one.
+
+MATT: So it’s five? This owl takes a crossbow bolt
+to the chest, and is like (flapping). You hear the
+
+same voice go, “Fucking hell! What– Phil! I
+fucking shot an owl, it’s still flying! I hate
+
+“this forest! It’s bullshit!” You hear this voice a
+little further away go, “(laughing) You suck!”
+
+He’s like, “Shut up!” Loads another bolt into it
+and starts– You see now is actively looking for
+
+the owl to finish it off and regain his pride.
+
+LIAM: I told him to go down low to the ground.
+Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Can you bring him back? I kind of want
+that arrow.
+
+LIAM: Ja, I can, but I poof into Frumpkin’s
+senses. Do I hear anything besides Phil and
+
+Mystery Man?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check with advantage.
+
+LIAM: Ja, because of the hearing.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Oh, that’s good on the first roll. The first
+roll is good, so it is 18.
+
+MATT: 18? Okay. Hearing the two men banter back
+and forth a little bit, the errant prodding that
+
+Phil seems to be giving to this individual. Beyond
+that, there’s the crickets in the air, there’s
+
+other nocturnal birds that are starting to rouse
+from their slumber to go hunting for the night.
+
+From the direction of The Sour Nest, Frumpkin
+glances up and can see, on the second floor, there
+
+are two openings you had seen previously on the
+second floor of this fortress, on each side, and
+
+there appears to be a very faint bit of firelight,
+and a shadow that passes by one, the other, so
+
+there is somebody moving on the second floor of
+this–
+
+LIAM: Who’s in the building?
+
+MATT: Of the inside of it, yes.
+
+LIAM: Okay. I snap my fingers, and Frumpkin
+vanishes, leaving the bolt where he was, and then
+
+I do it again. He’s here.
+
+MATT: All right. Very wounded, but alive.
+
+LIAM: May I borrow one of your goodberries?
+
+SUMALEE: Absolutely.
+
+LIAM: Is this one? Okay.
+
+SUMALEE: You may take– I believe there are four
+or five left.
+
+LIAM: I will take four.
+
+SUMALEE: Please.
+
+LIAM: One, two, three, four. You may keep that
+one. Thank you.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin happily eats from the goodberries.
+
+ASHLY: And he’s better?
+
+MATT: Yeah, the wounds close slowly, the magic of
+the goodberries healing the crossbow bolt over eventually.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, god. Sorry, guys.
+
+SAM: We can maybe use this. We could make a
+distraction owl that he will focus on, and we
+
+could take him out from afar.
+
+MARISHA: Do you have an illusion that you can do
+that? It’s a good idea. Maybe we should’ve done
+
+that to begin with.
+
+LIAM: We could potentially keep moving now, if we
+want to, because–
+
+ASHLY: We got the lay of the land?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we know there’s two on the wall, maybe
+that’s their M.O., every night there’s two on the
+
+walls. People are awake inside. What is the hour
+right now?
+
+MATT: I’d say at this point it’s close to 10:30.
+
+LIAM: 10:33, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s very specific.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, it is.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you just going for that, or is that
+going to mean something?
+
+LIAM: Oh, I’m sorry, 10:34 now.
+
+TALIESIN: In a minute, it’s going to be 10:35.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, approximately.
+
+TALIESIN: How about now?
+
+LIAM: It’s still 10:34.
+
+TALIESIN: But it’s closer to 10:35?
+
+LIAM: I’m not going to do this right now. We have
+a decision to make. Doesn’t seem any better or
+
+worse from the outside, but we are outside the
+onion. Are we going back to town to get a little
+
+more muscle, or are we making a go of it here?
+
+MARISHA: All right. Who votes for more muscle?
+Let’s put it to a vote.
+
+LIAM: Well, how successfully could we silently
+kill these two on the wall? You would be good at one.
+
+SAM: Silently, we can kill these two, I think,
+very easily. As long as you don’t move.
+
+ASHLY: I won’t. I’m staying right here.
+
+LIAM: But pitch it to me. How? You, I know–
+
+SAM: Can take this guy easily, if– Do you fight
+people from afar?
+
+TALIESIN: Not quietly.
+
+SAM: How about you, Nila? Do you have anything
+that can shoot from afar?
+
+SUMALEE: Lightning, I told you.
+
+SAM: Well, something that’s not like, “Hey, look,
+we’re here, we’ve got lightning!” Something–
+
+SUMALEE: Poison Spray.
+
+SAM: Okay. I mean, that’s–
+
+SUMALEE: Ten feet. No, that’s not from very far.
+
+SAM: We have Beau. She’s quiet. I could distract
+one while you go up and just (crack).
+
+MARISHA: How tall is the wall? How would I be able
+to get on the wall?
+
+MATT: The wall is about 12 to 15 feet. It’s not
+terribly tall. It’s about five feet wide.
+
+MARISHA: Are we walking the perimeter? If we’re
+doing a perimeter walk, I want to look and see if
+
+there are any branches and trees that might be
+growing close to the wall, that I could–
+
+MATT: You do know, from previously looking over
+it, that they’ve cleared out the forest about ten
+
+feet from the outer wall specifically to prevent
+anyone from climbing over into the space.
+
+SAM: I can shoot one with a crossbow.
+
+SUMALEE: I have a sling, too.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but we have to finish the job
+instantly.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we’ve got to do both at the same
+time, ideally. There’s got to be a team one and a
+
+team two on the guy. I’ve got my throwing darts,
+but they’re not super great.
+
+ASHLY: Your lightning, it doesn’t make a storm
+around it, right? It’s just a lightning bolt. We couldn’t–
+
+SAM: Controlled lightning?
+
+ASHLY: Make it seem like it’s a storm, rather than
+an attack.
+
+SAM: Well, listen, you can distract him with the
+actual Frumpkin while I shoot. It doesn’t have to
+
+be an illusory Frumpkin. I can still shoot.
+
+LIAM: Could also shoot him from the dark when he’s
+not expecting it to happen.
+
+SAM: That’s true.
+
+MARISHA: Also, sometimes maybe it’s just a stormy
+night here in the forest.
+
+TALIESIN: This Phil must be a really bad person if
+you’re–
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, he’s a real dick.
+
+SAM: Phil’s the worst.
+
+ASHLY: Are they within eyesight of each other? I’m
+assuming so.
+
+MATT: They are, yes.
+
+SAM: I can, if you guys– I can shoot. I got a
+shoot-y thing. I can shoot them.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, here’s what I’m going to propose.
+We split up: three on one guy, three on the other.
+
+We’ll do the plan that worked when we were doing
+it on kids, and we didn’t know we were doing it on
+
+kids. Me and you can throw up a bottle rocket.
+That will be the signal. We attack both of the
+
+guys at the same time, two different sides.
+
+SAM: That’s loud. We could just do Message. We can
+send each other a message that’s silent.
+
+MARISHA: But if it’s loud, and they’re both dead
+afterwards.
+
+LIAM: No, the people inside will hear it. No, we
+need silence.
+
+SUMALEE: I could create– Oh, were you going to
+say something?
+
+TALIESIN: I know I’m new here, and you’ve
+obviously all got some kind of hierarchy going
+
+here of how you work this out.
+
+SAM: Caleb’s in charge.
+
+TALIESIN: That makes sense. I suppose my question
+would be: what are you really here for? Because
+
+normally, if I’m looking at a complicated problem,
+I just think about what it is that I really want,
+
+and then I go and I do that.
+
+MARISHA: We want to murder everyone inside and
+rescue the people who are trapped.
+
+SAM: We want to rescue the people who are
+trapped.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I was going to say that if you had
+to put one above the other. If you get one thing,
+
+you get to do it.
+
+SAM: Rescue the people in the basement.
+
+TALIESIN: So you’ve got to get in and out of the
+basement. That seems to be the conversation then,
+
+is getting in and out of the basement. I’m sure,
+inevitably, you’re going to kill a whole bunch of
+
+people in the process of that, but as long as
+you’re focused on where you’re going and what
+
+you’re doing, that may help with this wanton
+violence against Phil, who I’m sure is a terrible
+
+person. He shot an owl.
+
+SAM: Phil’s friend did.
+
+ASHLY: He thought it was funny, though, so he’s
+still a dick.
+
+TALIESIN: No, that ain’t funny.
+
+MARISHA: All right, let’s split up, take these
+guys out.
+
+LIAM: No, it’s too early. We need to wait.
+
+MARISHA: Jesus!
+
+LIAM: It’s 10:35 at night. We need to wait until
+they’re asleep.
+
+ASHLY: Call it 10:37 at this point.
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+MARISHA: We wait an hour and get into position.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys wait an hour to get into
+position.
+
+MARISHA: We watch the passing shadows in front of
+the windows.
+
+MATT: Okay, you keep an out, and you do watch as
+the two of them– They’re not perfectly in line
+
+with each other, and the second floor of the
+complex does block their vision of each other when
+
+they are on complete opposite sides of the wall.
+But sometimes one of them will be faster than the
+
+other, and they’ll yell to the other, and they’ll
+go see each other from the opposite sides.
+
+LIAM: How far is Beauregard from me right now?
+
+MATT: How far is Beauregard from you right now?
+
+LIAM: Did you wander away from me?
+
+MARISHA: No, I’m right next to you.
+
+LIAM: (whispers) Would you rather wait until they
+are sleeping in their beds before we did this?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I was just trying to move things
+along.
+
+LIAM: I don’t want this one moving along right
+now. She makes a lot of noise.
+
+ASHLY: Sorry.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we’ll wait. We’ll just wait an
+hour.
+
+ASHLY: That’s a good question. I’m probably going
+to ruin any stealthiness.
+
+MATT: You do know, from the time that you’ve spent
+here, that there is no point in which the place is
+
+unguarded from the wall.
+
+ASHLY: There’s no point at which there is–
+
+MATT: Meaning there are shifts. The perimeter
+sentinels that you see currently, there are
+
+usually two sets that switch off.
+
+ASHLY: Is there a time when they change?
+
+MATT: There is, but you’re not entirely certain
+when it was. You weren’t really paying attention.
+
+SAM: You could take off your armor.
+
+MARISHA: That’s what I was thinking, at least to
+get into place, and then put it back on.
+
+MATT: It’s a lot of armor.
+
+LIAM: If we are doing this, I feel we should wait
+until it is late at night, and wait until we see
+
+those guards changed, and then wait a little bit
+further for the old guards to go to sleep. Yeah?
+
+So there’s a lot of sitting here and not moving. I
+know we are all very anxious, but we wait, someone
+
+comes out, relieves these two, they go to bed, and
+then we strike all at once. Then we do your plan;
+
+it’s just delayed, that’s all.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Until the next shift change. I
+could use a short rest anyway.
+
+SAM: Get on different sides of the facility?
+
+MARISHA: I think so.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but Keg, you stay here.
+
+ASHLY: And do what?
+
+LIAM: Wait.
+
+SAM: With two other people. We’re splitting up so
+we can take them both out at the same time.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you are just waiting until some of us
+are able to silently take out these people on the
+
+wall. Then we buy ourselves a little time while
+you can clink and clunk as we get closer.
+
+ASHLY: (laughs)
+
+LIAM: It’s good that you find levity in the
+situation. Then we go into the inside of this wall
+
+and take the next step.
+
+ASHLY: So it’s not three and three, it’s three and
+two.
+
+LIAM: Well, it’s two groups, and you move less
+right now.
+
+ASHLY: Okay. Fair.
+
+MARISHA: Can I take a short rest?
+
+MATT: You guys can take a short rest.
+
+MARISHA: And we watch.
+
+MATT: And you watch.
+
+MARISHA: And we solidify our plan?
+
+MATT: Mercifully, depending on your intent, the
+clouds break for a while and you have a clear,
+
+starry, moonlit sky overhead that manages to
+create a rim-light on both the wall, the
+
+structure, and the two guards. And you wait. And
+you wait. And we’re going to take a break.
+
+LIAM: Thank goodness. I have to pee so bad.
+
+MATT: We’ll come back here in a second. At this
+point, might as well put the fortress out there,
+
+so that’ll be waiting for you when you come back.
+
+LIAM: Let’s go back to town.
+
+SUMALEE: You’re a firbolg!
+
+MATT: You finally found him! We’re going to go to
+break here for a bit, but we have our giveaway at
+
+the break! For our fantastic giveaway tonight, we
+have the purpleheart hero vault with the Celtic
+
+knot design on it, which is really pretty. It’s
+magnetized; open it up and you can put your dice;
+
+you can put your miniature in there. I’ll be
+giving this away at the end of the break, so hop
+
+on over to the Critical Role chat on Twitch.
+That’s twitch.tv/criticalrole and enter the key
+
+word once. More than once and you’ll be
+disqualified. The keyword tonight is “stronghold.”
+
+One word: stronghold. All you people in the U.S.
+and Canada, excluding Quebec, throw that into the
+
+chat and we’ll come back with a winner as soon as
+we return. See you in a few minutes!
+
+[break]
+
+ASHLY: Banana hammock
+
+MATT: A little late on the draw there, but that
+worked out. That was awesome. Welcome back,
+
+everybody! Before we jump into this, we have our
+winner of the fantastic purpleheart hero
+
+vault. That’s going to be Elmosdaddy.
+Congratulations, Elmosdaddy! We’ll get your
+
+information and get that out to you ASAP.
+
+LIAM: (Elmo voice) Elmosdaddy!
+
+ASHLY: Sounds just the same. Is it the same
+voice?
+
+LIAM: (Elmo voice) (giggling)
+
+MATT: To give you a little bit of a visual
+representation of the size of the base of the fortress.
+
+LIAM: (Elmo voice) Everybody’s going to die!
+
+MATT: That’s what you see within the interior of
+the courtyard. The wall itself resides probably
+
+about out here.
+
+SAM: This is inside the wall?
+
+MATT: This is inside the wall.
+
+SAM: Oh jeez.
+
+MATT: Above that, still–
+
+SAM: There’s a second floor?
+
+MATT: There’s a second floor.
+
+SAM: But it would be ridiculous to have built that
+also.
+
+MARISHA: How are you lifting that?
+
+LIAM: He’s got a little board under there.
+
+MATT: The second floor sits right about there. To
+give a little bit of perspective on that. The
+
+black dots on the outside, by the way, are where
+the windows are visible on the stone. You guys are
+
+currently divided on opposite ends of the outer
+wall watching the two guards slowly move their way
+
+around the perimeter.
+
+MARISHA: Have they done a guard shift yet?
+
+MATT: Not yet.
+
+LIAM: In the interim while we’re waiting for that
+to happen, I’m going to do two things. One, I’m
+
+going to cast Mage Armor on myself, and I’m also
+going to pull a book out of one of the holsters
+
+and spend ten minutes changing Frumpkin into a
+spider!
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+ASHLY: There aren’t any windows on the bottom
+floor at all?
+
+MATT: No. No windows in the bottom floor. There is
+a front double door, and there is a single door in
+
+the back that you know leads into a kitchen.
+
+MARISHA: Go Charlotte, go! You’re radiant!
+
+LIAM: He has three hit points, so I think he’s
+actually a bigger spider than the one you’re
+
+imagining. See, he’s right there. He’s very big.
+
+MARISHA: How big is that spider?
+
+MATT: It’s a pretty big spider.
+
+LIAM: It’s three hit points worth of spider.
+
+MARISHA: That looks like a three hit point
+spider.
+
+LIAM: Somebody could step on it and he could still
+go.
+
+MATT: That’s a four or five hitter.
+
+LIAM: Get Brian Foster in here with his ping pong
+racket.
+
+MARISHA: That’s arguably terrifying, I’ll give it
+to you. I was a little wrong, just a little.
+
+LIAM: I put it on Beau’s shoulder.
+
+MARISHA: I’m not terrified of it, I’m just saying
+it could be terrifying. Hi, Frumpkin.
+
+MATT: Shortly after midnight, you watch as two
+figures ascend from the inside of the wall
+
+climbing up different ladders that mark the
+entrance and exit. They both interface in a brief
+
+conversation, hushed voices, and then relieve the
+two previous guards, who then descend down on the
+
+inside of the courtyard via those same ladders and
+disappear into The Sour Nest fortress. So there
+
+has been a guard changeover now. It’s past
+midnight, pushing one in the morning. What would
+
+you like to do?
+
+SAM: How are we split up, group-wise? Probably me
+and Caleb split. And then–
+
+MARISHA: One firbolg each.
+
+SAM: I’ll take the new one.
+
+MARISHA: We’ll take the old one.
+
+SAM: Oh hey, look!
+
+MARISHA: Table and Table.
+
+SAM: While we’re waiting I’ve asked the Deuce–
+
+TALIESIN: I’m already regretting the name.
+
+SAM: Are you married?
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+SAM: Did you go to college?
+
+TALIESIN: What?
+
+SAM: How old are you really?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t really know how to answer that
+question.
+
+SAM: Do you have kids?
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+ASHLY: Why are you badgering him with questions?
+
+SAM: Well, he’s a new friend and I talk when I’m
+nervous.
+
+ASHLY: Why don’t you let him think and answer
+questions one at a time?
+
+SAM: You’re right.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+ASHLY: Sure, well, I’m learning from– I don’t
+know who, actually. None of us are good at this.
+
+Nila, I guess.
+
+SAM: Nila is really good at this; she’s great.
+
+SUMALEE: What am I good at?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know I can only hear muffles.
+Choice words. I think they’re talking about you, though.
+
+SUMALEE: It’s okay.
+
+LIAM: I pull the haversack off and say: I have a
+decent idea, anyway. I think that you should use this.
+
+MARISHA: Oh yeah.
+
+MATT: Much like how you spend a moment with your smell
+bag, you watch as Beauregard seems to focus into
+
+this strange, vibrant pink satchel or shoulder bag
+that Caleb has been carrying.
+
+SUMALEE: What is inside?
+
+MATT: About a minute passes before Beauregard
+pulls back away, this strange trance passing over her.
+
+MARISHA: Death is weird, am I right?
+
+SUMALEE: What did you do to her?
+
+LIAM: Back to my idea, okay. Nott on the other
+side can probably put a bolt in that guy’s throat
+
+over there. You can probably vault up the side of
+that wall, if I’m not mistaken, don’t you think?
+
+MARISHA: How tall are you?
+
+SUMALEE: 7'2”, maybe 7'6".
+
+MARISHA: Would you be willing to give me a boost
+up that wall?
+
+SUMALEE: Absolutely.
+
+LIAM: Oh, you told me about your ability to make
+things quiet around you.
+
+ASHLY: Damn, should’ve gone with Nila.
+
+SAM: You married? What kids do you have?
+
+ASHLY: I was married once. It lasted, like, an
+hour.
+
+TALIESIN: I bet it was a really good hour.
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, she sobered up and she said that she
+made a mistake.
+
+LIAM: When I hold him, you yank him off of the
+wall, and then Humpty Dumpty, you know, they can’t
+
+put him back– You know how it goes.
+
+MARISHA: Copy.
+
+SUMALEE: Wait, I’m sorry, I need that one more
+time, but I’ll get it.
+
+LIAM: You are going to help Beauregard here up
+onto the wall, quietly, after you use your–
+
+SUMALEE: Pass Without a Trace.
+
+LIAM: Whatever you call it. Then she gets up there
+and I am going to use my tricks to hold him and
+
+let her rip him off the wall and split his skull
+upon the stones beneath.
+
+SUMALEE: Excellent.
+
+MARISHA: Also, the thing I was looking at, our
+version of the smell bag. It’s like this artifact
+
+that we got from an assassin that lets you look
+into the creation of space and time and the universe.
+
+LIAM: Pretty complicated.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah
+
+SUMALEE: Wow.
+
+MARISHA: Anyway.
+
+LIAM: I pull out a little wire and whisper into it
+to Nott and say: I think we have an idea over
+
+here, so we should probably get set.
+
+ASHLY: We haven’t come up with a plan yet.
+
+SAM: We’ll get ready over here, give us one
+second.
+
+ASHLY and SAM: How tall is our firbolg?
+
+TALIESIN: (singing) How tall is my firbolg? Seven
+feet?
+
+MATT: Seven to seven and a half feet.
+
+ASHLY: We could just copy their plan.
+
+SAM: I mean, I can just shoot.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, you can just shoot, never mind.
+
+SAM: If I miss, then backup plan is boost-y to
+you?
+
+ASHLY: Can you? I’m like 200 plus.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m not that strong.
+
+LIAM: Well, she’s a party maker, noise, you know.
+(clanking)
+
+SAM: You can’t shoot anything?
+
+TALIESIN: I can do some magic.
+
+ASHLY: I have javelins.
+
+SAM: Oh! You have a javelin.
+
+ASHLY: I forgot I had javelins. Yes, I have
+javelins.
+
+SAM: I guess that’s our Plan B, then.
+
+ASHLY: Didn’t do too hot in the last one.
+
+SAM: Is there anything that either of you can do
+to hold, silence, or assist me as I shoot this fellow?
+
+ASHLY: I could give you thumbs up as you’re doing
+it.
+
+SUMALEE: If I cast Pass Without a Trace, can it
+help them, too?
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, you guys are on the opposite
+sides of this.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got a Guiding Bolt, but it’s very
+bright and it’s made of light.
+
+SAM: Let’s not do that.
+
+TALIESIN: I have some insects, but they make a lot
+of noise.
+
+SAM: Okay. It’s fine. It’s on me. It’s okay. I’ll
+just get super drunk.
+
+TALIESIN: Actually, I have something I can do
+while that’s happening.
+
+LIAM: Matthew?
+
+MATT: Yes?
+
+LIAM: DM. where would you say, in relation to this
+map, the two groups are?
+
+MATT: The two groups would be probably on the
+outskirts of the wall here and here.
+
+LIAM: So 150 feet apart, probably.
+
+MATT: Quite a distance.
+
+MARISHA: How far does your Message work?
+
+LIAM: Like, about that far.
+
+MARISHA: So we wouldn’t be out a Message range of
+each other.
+
+SAM: Message is 120 feet.
+
+MATT: About 120 feet.
+
+LIAM: Ayy!
+
+MARISHA: When I get up there and grab him, I’m
+going to bash his head in and I’m going to throw
+
+him down, and if he’s still alive, you get him.
+
+SUMALEE: With my shillelagh!
+
+MARISHA and SUMALEE: (grunting)
+
+MATT: We’ll say you can manage to adjust
+yourselves to get within range.
+
+LIAM: When you get on the wall off of Nila’s
+shoulders and you do the handhold thing? You know
+
+what I’m talking about?
+
+MARISHA: I was figuring I would be on her
+shoulders and we would suck up against the wall.
+
+SAM: I take out a piece of wire and send a little
+Message.
+
+LIAM: Right underneath him?
+
+MARISHA: We’ll see, yeah. Right underneath him.
+
+SAM: Caleb! Provided this plan works, after we
+knock down the folks, someone on each party should
+
+put on their cloak and resume their guard pattern
+and keep walking around the wall.
+
+SUMALEE: Very sneaky.
+
+LIAM: That is an excellent idea.
+
+SAM: You can respond– oh, you did.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. You and I, we’re good. We have this
+little routine. Beauregard can do that on this
+
+side. What about on your side? You? You’re short.
+
+MARISHA: Keg.
+
+LIAM and SAM: She’s short.
+
+MARISHA: But not as short as Nott.
+
+TALIESIN: You could stand on top of me.
+
+ASHLY: Are these guys humans, these guards?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check. (yawns) Pardon me.
+
+ASHLY: 20, baby!
+
+MATT: One of them is human, though maybe 5 ½
+feet tall. The other, because of the moonlight
+
+that’s coming through, you have a better
+perspective on him, even at this distance, you
+
+guess probably half-elven or just a very thin
+human. A little over 6-foot. So you have a 6-foot
+
+one and one that’s 5 ½ feet.
+
+SAM: Maybe firbolg could hunch over and stalk
+around.
+
+SUMALEE: As a firbolg, you have the ability, no,
+to disguise yourself? Every firbolg does, to
+
+shrink a little bit if you want.
+
+SAM: She says to Caleb, who tells me, who tells
+him.
+
+SUMALEE: Sorry!
+
+MARISHA: Pass it along!
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I guess I can do that.
+
+SAM: Okay!
+
+ASHLY: I’m very strong, I could maybe hoist you.
+
+SAM: Oh! Yes! See, you’ve got a plan, now!
+
+ASHLY: We made up a plan, too!
+
+LIAM: What are you doing over there, Nott?
+
+SAM: We’re going to shoot the man and then drunky,
+smoky Keg is going to pick up The Deuce and he’s
+
+going to walk around–
+
+ASHLY: Is my nickname Drunky, Smoky Keg?!
+
+SAM: We’re working on a better one.
+
+ASHLY: It’s not even a nickname; it’s three times
+longer than my normal name! How about Keg?! My
+
+normal name!
+
+TALIESIN: It’s literally one syllable. I feel like
+that’s not a lot to ask.
+
+LIAM: Nott, I have a question for you. The plan is
+not foolproof, but on our side over here,
+
+Beauregard’s going to throw the asshole off the
+wall. If you shoot your asshole and he does not
+
+die but starts screaming, what do you do?
+
+SAM: Other than shoot him again. We have a javelin
+and that is all we’ve got.
+
+ASHLY: I have rope, so I could tie the rope around
+the javelin, (shoonk!), and pull him off the wall.
+
+MARISHA: Makeshift harpoon? That’s pretty cool.
+
+SAM: Sure, let’s do it!
+
+ASHLY: Is that now a leading plan?
+
+SAM: No, I’m still going to shoot and you’re going
+to be ready with jav.
+
+LIAM: Or you could attack at the same time.
+
+ASHLY: That’s true.
+
+LIAM: Said Liam.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s just do this. Come on.
+
+ASHLY: Okay, I tie the rope around the javelin.
+
+SAM: You message me a countdown and I’ll say it
+out loud to you.
+
+ASHLY: I’m very scared.
+
+MARISHA: We’re going to wait for our guys to
+pace–
+
+LIAM: Yeah, the sequence of events is that you two
+need to get onto the wall successfully.
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh, with Pass Without a Trace.
+
+LIAM: You’ve got your javelin tied up.
+
+ASHLY: It’s ready, it’s roped.
+
+MATT: Battle-optimal position.
+
+SAM and MARISHA: They’re here.
+
+LIAM: I say three, two, one.
+
+MARISHA: Go, Pass without a Trace!
+
+SAM: Three, two, one, go!
+
+LIAM: No! Are they in place?
+
+MARISHA: We’re going.
+
+SUMALEE: She’s on my shoulders.
+
+MARISHA: I’m on her shoulders, I’m up against this
+fucking wall! You’re doing this, I’m going to try
+
+and (grunt)–
+
+ASHLY: Then we’re shooting at the same time?
+
+SAM: We’re shooting at the same time.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to hold Hold Person until these
+two are right under the guard.
+
+MARISHA: I want to wait until right after he
+passes, and then I want to do some ninja stuff.
+
+SAM: Are you just sipping tea?
+
+TALIESIN: Yep.
+
+MATT: First, I need you to make a stealth check
+because you’re having to move right up against the
+
+wall. This is a ten-foot clearing.
+
+MARISHA: I do.
+
+LIAM: Use the dodeca if you need to.
+
+MARISHA: That’s true.
+
+MATT: Both of you guys roll stealth checks.
+
+MARISHA: Mmm.
+
+SUMALEE: Doesn’t she get a plus ten to the
+stealth?
+
+MATT: It is a plus ten to stealth check.
+
+MARISHA: Then that gives me a 20 total. Okay, 20.
+
+SUMALEE: Oh shit, how did I get the same thing?
+Look.
+
+MARISHA: I cursed you!
+
+SAM: You need to stealth too?
+
+LIAM: Luck, you have luck still.
+
+MATT: What’s your total?
+
+ASHLY: Does that apply to her, the Pass without a
+Trace?
+
+LIAM and MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: But you have a luck left.
+
+SUMALEE: I have two luck points left, but I feel
+like–
+
+MATT: No, you have one because you used one last
+game.
+
+ASHLY: But we short rested, didn’t we?
+
+SUMALEE: Oh, we rested.
+
+MATT: It’s a long rest to come back.
+
+LIAM: You got one left.
+
+ASHLY: Farts.
+
+SUMALEE: I think I need to hold that.
+
+MATT: So 15 and 20? You’re throwing a javelin and
+you’re firing.
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+MATT: You both run up to the wall. You go ahead
+and hoist up, hanging on the edge right there.
+
+Walks past, doesn’t seem to have noticed the both
+of you.
+
+SUMALEE and MARISHA: Woo!
+
+MATT: Rolled a six on his perception. Would you
+both make your attack rolls, please? Because you
+
+are unseen, you have advantage on the attack.
+
+ASHLY: On three?
+
+LIAM: No, Caleb, seeing this, would’ve went drei,
+zwei, eins. Hold Person.
+
+ASHLY: That is a 15.
+
+MATT: That just hits.
+
+SAM: Natural 20.
+
+ASHLY: Hell yes!
+
+SAM: But you said advantage. So that was a three.
+
+MATT: It was with advantage. Roll again just in
+case you want to crit.
+
+ASHLY: A one, no.
+
+MATT: No, not at all. Let’s roll your sneak attack
+damage and double it on top because it’s a crit,
+
+and then take another shot.
+
+LIAM: Take a shot!
+
+SAM: 24 so far.
+
+MATT: 24 points of damage from the first attack.
+Go ahead and roll damage for the javelin.
+
+ASHLY: Five.
+
+MATT: It’s 29 damage. As you throw the javelin up,
+you get your shot, the next attack.
+
+SAM: 24.
+
+MATT: Roll damage for that one.
+
+SAM: Nine.
+
+MATT: You watch as– (multiple impacts)– and you
+yank back. Make a strength check.
+
+SAM: Come on!
+
+ASHLY: No whammies. Ten?
+
+MATT: (thud) You’re dragging the corpse.
+
+LIAM: Ten.
+
+ALL: Ten!
+
+MATT: Hand-over-hand, you’re dragging the corpse.
+He insta-dies, and then got pulled off and then
+
+slammed onto the ground and is now being pulled
+through the dirt and grass. Done, instantly. For
+
+you, it’s a wisdom saving throw.
+
+LIAM: 16.
+
+MATT: A natural 12 plus one, that’s 13, it’s a
+fail.
+
+LIAM: Oh, held!
+
+MARISHA: He’s held?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: As soon that I see that he’s held, I am
+going to jump up and try and grab him by the pants
+
+and bash his head in and then throw him down.
+
+MATT: Easy enough to do. Go ahead and make a
+martial arts attack. Technically, you have
+
+advantage because he’s paralyzed.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Just a straight attack?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. 16? No, sorry, 15?
+
+MATT: That hits, it’s an auto-crit because he’s
+held. Roll your martial arts damage.
+
+MARISHA: Aw, I rolled a one. Plus two, plus four.
+Six damage.
+
+MATT: Six damage. You throw him to the ground. He
+falls and takes an additional five points of
+
+bludgeoning damage. After the fall, hits the
+ground– off the wall, on the backside of it, he’s
+
+now face down on the ground, still held.
+
+MARISHA: I go: Nila, now!
+
+SUMALEE: I take my shillelagh and just let him
+have it (grunt).
+
+MATT: Are you continuing your attack with her or
+are you hanging, staying up on the wall?
+
+MARISHA: I will finish my attack right as she
+whacks her staff. I’m going to let go and try and
+
+time it to where I land on the staff with her.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and swing the attack. You
+have advantage because he’s paralyzed and prone.
+
+SUMALEE: Okay, this is this.
+
+MATT: Yep. Go ahead and roll that twice and take
+the higher, adding your wisdom modifier.
+
+SUMALEE: Ten plus four, so 14.
+
+MATT: Plus your proficiency modifier, which is
+plus three, so it would be–
+
+SUMALEE: 17.
+
+MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll your damage.
+Should be a–
+
+SUMALEE: Which is 1d8.
+
+MATT: d8 plus four. But d8 times two because it’s
+critical.
+
+ASHLY: Come on, Nila.
+
+MATT: Well, it’s– oh, that’s fine, we’ll do that.
+So that’s nine– add the two together– it’s nine
+
+plus four. So 13 points of damage on top of that.
+Right as you’re slamming down, go ahead and make
+
+your next attack.
+
+MARISHA: Mm-hmm, 23.
+
+MATT: With advantage, these are with advantage
+because he’s paralyzed and prone.
+
+MARISHA: 23.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll damage, crit.
+
+MARISHA: That’s much better. Eight plus four, so
+12 damage.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage. Yeah, that’ll do it.
+
+ASHLY: Fuck yes!
+
+MATT: Both of them– one was enjoying the wind and
+then darkness forever. The other got a cramp and
+
+then got bludgeoned from all sides after being
+jammed in the dirt and then expired.
+
+ASHLY: “Was enjoying the wind and then darkness
+forever.” Aw, that’s so sad! Was it Phil?
+
+MATT: It was the end of The Sopranos for them,
+man. It was just–
+
+ASHLY: Phil’s asleep, Phil went to bed. It
+switched, Phil’s still alive. We should only leave
+
+Phil alive if we can, just save Phil.
+
+MATT: Hashtag save Phil.
+
+SUMALEE: Phil is bad!
+
+MATT: They are both done at the moment, it is
+silent. There is a very slight sound of both their
+
+bodies impacting in the dirt, but you’re not sure
+if that managed to reach as far as anybody within
+
+the interior of the stronghold. What do you do now
+in this moment?
+
+SAM: Mr. Deuce, put on this cloak, if you don’t
+mind, and climb up onto there and patrol around,
+
+if you don’t mind.
+
+TALIESIN: This Deuce thing’s weird, I don’t–
+
+SAM: Mr. Clay!
+
+MARISHA: I do the same thing. I slip into the
+guard uniform.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you think maybe we’re going to want
+some of these clothes at some point?
+
+SAM: You can put his cloak on right now.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I’m really tall, but all right. I’m
+also going to take a look at this guy they just
+
+killed and commit his face and what he’s wearing
+to memory, just to put it in there.
+
+MATT: Cool, no worries.
+
+ASHLY: Then I’m going to hoist you up on top? Or
+can you make it there yourself?
+
+TALIESIN: How tall is the–?
+
+MATT: It’s about 12 feet. You might want to help
+him; he’s not the strongest person. Just make a
+
+strength check. It’s not too difficult.
+
+ASHLY: A million. 24.
+
+MATT: Yeah. You (grunt)– you get on top of the
+wall, you have the cloak on.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to rope down really quick,
+quietly, keeping an eye out.
+
+SAM: Ooh, nice.
+
+MARISHA: Would you mind giving me another boost
+real quick?
+
+SUMALEE: Not a problem at all.
+
+MATT: Between your acrobatics and your ability,
+your height, without an issue, you get to the top.
+
+You guys now are on top of the wall, cloaked.
+Where do you want to go?
+
+MARISHA: I look over at Deuce and give a nod.
+
+TALIESIN: You said that out of game and I can’t
+say anything about it.
+
+LIAM: I send Frumpkin up into the air to do a
+circle around the entire perimeter.
+
+MATT: Perception check with advantage please.
+
+ASHLY: Does this mean that they can see in the
+windows on the second story now?
+
+MATT: If they want to they can try.
+
+LIAM: Achtzehn. 18.
+
+MATT: Okay. There does not appear to be any person
+in the courtyard. Those two guards are the only
+
+two that were currently set on the outside. You
+can see the horses that were pulling the carts
+
+that are set over on the side at the moment. You
+can see the carts that have since been repaired
+
+and are currently waiting in rest. You can see the
+front door to the stronghold, and you can see the
+
+back door.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin saw all of this, yeah? Saw the
+doors, all of that? I’m going to creep my way to
+
+the front door and as I go, I’m going to cast
+Detect Magic.
+
+MATT: You’re still on the outside of the wall.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You have to make your way through the
+perimeter of the wall, which has its own front
+
+gate, which is closed. Do you want to head to
+that?
+
+LIAM: Right, to the outer wall.
+
+MATT: The outer wall and out that way, okay. Cast
+Detect Magic?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. I will wait until I am within 30 feet
+of the wall and then I do so, I will mutter a few words.
+
+TALIESIN: I get a free Disguise Self that doesn’t
+actually count against any of my slots.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+LIAM: Sexy.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to be a guard. I’m going to be
+the guy we just snuffed.
+
+MATT: Easy enough to do.
+
+LIAM: I like this guy.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s cool, I haven’t done this.
+
+MATT: As you give the Deuce your nod, you watch as
+his form actually shifts smaller and matches the
+
+shape of the previous guard.
+
+SAM: Mr. Clay!
+
+ASHLY: Cool trick!
+
+MATT: Finishing your Detect Magic, you do not
+detect anything magical of the outer gate. It is locked.
+
+ASHLY: Are we going in together? Should we do back
+entrance/front entrance?
+
+MARISHA: I can unlock the front entrance for you
+guys.
+
+LIAM: I take my wire and I say: Nott are you on
+the ground still? Can you meet me at the front
+
+gates quietly?
+
+SAM: Yeah, give us a minute. I am going to rifle
+through the dude’s pockets and go through the guy
+
+we just killed’s stuff.
+
+MATT: Okay. Make an investigation check, because
+you’re doing this quickly.
+
+SAM: 15.
+
+MATT: 15? Not too bad.
+
+MARISHA: Do we want to go front entrance/back
+entrance?
+
+MATT: You manage to pilfer about 62 gold pieces.
+
+SAM: 62?!
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: Why is he so rich?!
+
+MATT: Because you caught him at the moment outside
+of the town and he had his money on him.
+
+SAM: But does he have anything else useful, like
+keys?
+
+MATT: No keys on him, no.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, make sure we get the gold out of
+our dude’s pockets, you’re right there on the ground.
+
+SAM: Okay, cool. Anything else?
+
+MATT: He felt safe on that wall.
+
+SAM: Anything else useful? No.
+
+MATT: The crossbow that he had seems to have
+snapped in the process of his body being yanked
+
+from the top of the wall. His armor is standard
+leather armor.
+
+SAM: Okay, great.
+
+MARISHA: Is there anything on the dude’s armor
+that I put on?
+
+MATT: You didn’t stop to check, you’re already up
+on the wall.
+
+SUMALEE: I can check.
+
+MATT: If you want to. Make an investigation
+check.
+
+SUMALEE: 17, what do I add?
+
+MARISHA: Investigation.
+
+SUMALEE and MARISHA: Minus one.
+
+SUMALEE: 16.
+
+MATT: 16, okay. You find 22 gold pieces.
+
+SUMALEE: Added to my ten, that seems like a lot.
+
+MATT: And a pack of crossbow bolts, 16 crossbow
+bolts.
+
+SAM: Totally useful.
+
+LIAM: Waiting very anxiously for my life partner.
+
+SAM: Oh! Yes, let’s go! Oh, not you. You stay up
+there. Let’s go, but be stealthy.
+
+MATT: I’d like you both to roll stealth check with
+disadvantage.
+
+SAM: Wait, with advantage?
+
+MATT: Disadvantage for her because of her armor.
+
+LIAM: Oh, son of a fuck, come on Ash.
+
+SAM and LIAM: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Don’t go lower than that, that’s got to be
+the worst.
+
+SAM: That was the worst. Still not great.
+
+ASHLY: This is the worst?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+LIAM: Seven plus–
+
+ASHLY: Seven plus five.
+
+MATT: Okay, 12, good to know.
+
+MARISHA: I say: Meet at the front gate.
+
+SUMALEE: Okay.
+
+MATT: You’re going stealth as well? Roll a stealth
+check. please.
+
+ASHLY: Oh god, why’d I get plate armor?
+
+MARISHA: I think you still have Pass Without a
+Trace on.
+
+MATT: You do, so that’s plus ten.
+
+SUMALEE: Oh, thank goodness. Thank you.
+
+MARISHA: Lasts for like ten minutes, I think.
+
+SUMALEE: 14
+
+MARISHA: Lasts for an hour?
+
+SUMALEE and MATT: Up to an hour.
+
+SUMALEE: Okay, so this is four plus ten.
+
+MATT: Okay. Eventually, the four of you meet
+towards the front gate, seemingly, from what you
+
+can tell, no one’s noticed.
+
+TALIESIN: From my vantage point, I’m going to see
+if there’s anybody in the courtyard, or if there’s
+
+anything– since I’m up there now.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: I signal to Deuce. I don’t know what else
+to call you.
+
+TALIESIN: Clay, if you have to.
+
+MARISHA: Clay.
+
+TALIESIN: Caduceus Clay. 16.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, look at the windows, too.
+
+TALIESIN: They’re nice.
+
+SAM: Oh no!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m looking in the windows.
+
+MATT: Okay, you see nobody else inside the
+courtyard. You occasionally see the flickering
+
+movement. It looks like firelight is the source of
+light that’s coming through the two windows on the
+
+two sides of the facility you can see. No movement
+yet.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to slowly start pacing
+around towards the front. I’m also going to look
+
+into the windows. Do I see anything from my
+vantage point?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20! Thanks, Gil!
+
+MATT: Okay, you feel like you have a pretty good
+eye on those two sides of the interior windows.
+
+You do not see any movement yet, but you’re pretty
+locked on. What are the four of you guys doing now
+
+that you’ve met at the front gate?
+
+LIAM: We’re at the front gate?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: Okay, I can get this open, but I would
+prefer to preserve my reserves, so can you get
+
+this door open?
+
+SAM: Sure, I’ll pick the lock. 16 plus stuff. It’s
+plus four plus three or something like that? Is
+
+that right?
+
+MATT: That’s your dexterity modifier plus your
+proficiency modifier.
+
+SAM: Yeah, plus seven.
+
+MATT: All right; yeah.
+
+SAM: So 23.
+
+MATT: 23, okay. You take a moment and there are
+two specific locks that are chained; one on each
+
+side that are closed. The one that’s nearest to
+you, easy enough. The one on the opposite side,
+
+you have to pull out one of your metallic hooks
+that slips through a space in the wood and manage
+
+to pull it up on the side a little bit. You’re
+essentially reverse-picking it with two hooked
+
+picks from the opposite side. It takes you a
+little longer, until eventually it hangs.
+
+LIAM: I miss being a rogue every day.
+
+SAM: So far, everything’s going great–
+
+ASHLY: Why did you say that?
+
+SAM: And we should assume that everything will
+continue to go great.
+
+ASHLY: Oh god, okay.
+
+LIAM: I pull out the wire and get it between my
+hands and whisper up to Beauregard: Are we good?
+
+Is everything good up there from what you can see?
+Are we good?
+
+MARISHA: Coast looks clear. I don’t know why I did
+this with my fingers.
+
+ASHLY: Okay, now we have a choice. We could just
+try to go downstairs and get your friends.
+
+LIAM: There is another door over there. Let’s get
+to that door.
+
+ASHLY: The back door?
+
+LIAM: We’re at the front gate.
+
+MATT: You guys are over there.
+
+ASHLY: Oh duh, okay. All right.
+
+MATT: You’re making your way into the courtyard
+now.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, so we have to get to that door.
+
+MATT: This door or this door. Your choice.
+
+ASHLY: That’s the front?
+
+MATT: That’s the front.
+
+TALIESIN: Or you could meet me at the corner,
+since I’m walking around the– Oh, I’m on the
+
+outer. I’m not in the center area yet?
+
+MATT: Technically, Beau, you guys are walking
+perimeter on the outside wall. The rest of you
+
+cats are currently, essentially, over that way.
+You guys have just passed through the gate on that
+
+side, where it’s open and allowing you into the
+courtyard.
+
+SAM: Caleb, I trust you. Where do we go, back–
+
+LIAM: There’s no magic on the front door, right?
+
+MATT: You’re still focusing as you come inside?
+
+LIAM: It’s like ten minutes, so I’ve probably got
+four or five minutes left.
+
+MATT: Yeah, no magic that you notice on the front
+door of the fortress.
+
+LIAM: I think that we should cut around the side
+and go to the back. They will probably be
+
+expecting that less.
+
+ASHLY: That leads into the kitchen, too. There
+shouldn’t be anyone in the kitchen.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay.
+
+SAM: Okay, but wait. Can we get Beau and Mr. Clay
+down here as well to help?
+
+LIAM: I think we should leave them for the moment
+to keep appearances up.
+
+SAM: Well then, in that case, can you carry Keg?
+
+ASHLY: Oh yeah, could you carry me?
+
+SUMALEE: I would love to.
+
+LIAM: Okay, but are you able to– I don’t
+understand your people’s ways, but are you able to
+
+help her the way you helped Beauregard earlier?
+
+SAM: Oh yes, you could use that spell that you
+used earlier.
+
+LIAM: That ability you had to make Beauregard–
+
+MARISHA: It’s within 30 feet of her, so yeah, I
+think she should be good? But I think you have to
+
+cast it on the people within 30 feet of you.
+
+SAM: Recast!
+
+MATT: For the duration, each creature you choose
+within 30 feet of you.
+
+LIAM: So you could drop it and do it again.
+
+SAM: Wait, for the duration–
+
+MARISHA: For the duration, each creature you
+choose within 30 feet?
+
+LIAM: Who has it now?
+
+TALIESIN: I think it’s as long as they’re within
+30 feet, it’s like a field and you can say yea or
+
+nay. That’s my view.
+
+MATT: It doesn’t say at the moment of casting you
+have to select; just that for the duration you
+
+choose. So, my interpretation, I would allow
+someone to step into the radius, and you could
+
+then choose.
+
+SAM: Okay, so we know better. We know you don’t
+have to cast it.
+
+ASHLY: I’ll snuggle up to Nila.
+
+SUMALEE: I choose Keg.
+
+LIAM: Let’s tippy-toe around the back door.
+
+SAM: Okay, let’s go!
+
+MATT: All right, everyone who’s now making their
+way around the back, make another stealth check.
+
+ASHLY: Am I at disadvantage now? Still?
+
+MATT: You’re still at disadvantage, because you
+still have your armor.
+
+ASHLY: So two plus ten plus five. 17.
+
+LIAM: I miss Vax so much.
+
+SAM: 23.
+
+LIAM: 14.
+
+TALIESIN: Plus ten.
+
+LIAM: Plus ten, whatever it is.
+
+SUMALEE: 12.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys begin to head around this
+direction?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All right. Going past the barrel pile where
+you had previously made your way in and out via
+
+owl the previous day. As you guys scoot past, you
+hear the front door of the facility (thudding)
+
+(creaking). It opens ever so faintly to the
+inside, and a figure peers out, having apparently
+
+heard something.
+
+MARISHA: We don’t see that?
+
+SAM: No, we already went–
+
+LIAM: No, these two. We asked them if they saw
+anything right before we went.
+
+MARISHA: I didn’t see that.
+
+MATT: You see a figure poke the head out and look
+curiously.
+
+TALIESIN: Sorry!
+
+MATT: “What?” Make a deception check, with
+advantage given that fact that it’s in the
+
+darkness and not an unexpected scenario.
+
+TALIESIN: Natural 20.
+
+ASHLY: Hell yes!
+
+MATT: Guard looks past and closes the door.
+
+ASHLY: Oh my god. I’m going to have an ulcer after
+this game!
+
+TALIESIN: Nah.
+
+MATT: You guys all continue to the back of the
+facility.
+
+ASHLY: Except Keg.
+
+SUMALEE: No, you are with me. We’re together.
+
+MATT: You guys are at the back door.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to guess that I have two or three
+minutes left on Detect Magic, so does the door
+
+seem clear of that?
+
+MATT: The door seems to be clear of magic.
+
+TALIESIN: Who do I see on the front door, by the
+way, really? What did he look like? I don’t know
+
+who he was, but–
+
+MATT: From what you can look at, it looked to be
+humanoid, it was hard to tell at this distance
+
+with the little bit of firelight you saw. Hood was
+down. Short, black hair, looked a bit sallow.
+
+Young, but probably looked older than they were–
+
+MARISHA: Kill it! Kill it!
+
+ASHLY: Aww, damn.
+
+MATT: Nah, that would have been cool.
+
+LIAM: It was on my iPad!
+
+MATT: I should have run with it. You’re at the
+back door.
+
+LIAM: Luck, luck, luck. Is there any gap between
+the bottom of the door and the floor that Frumpkin
+
+could fit through right now?
+
+MATT: There is a very faint bit that a spider
+could fit though, yes.
+
+LIAM: In you go, buddy. Hold on to my hand,
+please.
+
+ASHLY: We could do a hand chain.
+
+SAM: You’re not with us.
+
+TALIESIN: Aww, damn it.
+
+LIAM: Telepathically, I tell Frumpkin to crawl up
+the other side of the door and go onto the ceiling.
+
+MATT: All right. Frumpkin is now up, and there is
+a kitchen.
+
+TALIESIN: Sandwiches!
+
+SAM: What?
+
+MATT: There is a kitchen, you can see there is an
+oven. There looks to be a bunch of dirty dishes
+
+that have just piled up and haven’t been washed in
+a while. There is a path that goes to the right
+
+and further down this hallway, and there is a door
+that leads further in.
+
+LIAM: Nila didn’t tell us anything about a kitchen
+from her–
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, she did.
+
+MARISHA: The hallway down the right is the one we
+want to go to, if I remember correctly.
+
+SUMALEE: With the trapdoor.
+
+MARISHA: With the trapdoor, yep.
+
+LIAM: Well, that’s where I will send Frumpkin
+along the ceiling. Then when he gets to a door, he
+
+can go down the door and under, if there is a gap,
+and then up the door.
+
+MATT: Okay. That’s through into this hallway,
+which currently ends in two more doors. This way
+
+and that way.
+
+LIAM: Are all these doors so far the same? They
+are loose?
+
+MATT: They are loose. I mean, as far as small
+gaps in between, very, very tiny.
+
+LIAM: A half-inch for Frumpkin?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+ASHLY: Would I be able to tell him which way to
+go?
+
+MATT: He wouldn’t be able to hear you.
+
+LIAM: I don’t hear shit right now. I will send
+Frumpkin through the next gap.
+
+MATT: Which one? There’s two different doors. This
+way or this way.
+
+LIAM: No, you can’t tell me anything.
+
+TALIESIN: Here, have a laser pointer.
+
+SAM: Here is a laser pointer, Liam O'Brien.
+
+LIAM: I will do this one here.
+
+MATT: All right. Frumpkin moves into this chamber,
+which unveils this chamber. In this chamber, you
+
+see a dining area of some kind, and you see there
+are two of the hired guards in the process of
+
+finishing an evening drink.
+
+SAM: Was it Phil and the other guy?
+
+MARISHA: Is it Phil?
+
+MATT: One of them is Phil. One of them is the
+other guy. Looks like they’re having a nightcap.
+
+ASHLY: Are they drunk?
+
+MATT: They’ve been drinking. You have no idea if
+they’re drunk. Frumpkin sees the two of them
+
+hushedly chatting to one other and drinking from
+tankards.
+
+LIAM: I will have Frumpkin back away, under the
+crack.
+
+MATT: Okay. Make a stealth check for Frumpkin
+because now you are in eyesight of–
+
+LIAM: He is so little. He is so small.
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+LIAM: Just one roll? That’s okay. Hold on,
+everybody. 14. Wait, everything’s crazy. I need a
+
+different browser window.
+
+MATT: What did you roll?
+
+LIAM: Well, I rolled a 14 but it’s better than
+that, it’s 16.
+
+MATT: That’s fine. They do not see Fumpkin. They
+have had just enough to drink where they did not
+
+see Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: (singing) The Itsy Bitsy Spider.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin is going where?
+
+LIAM: Back under that door, and he will peeky-poo
+under the door he has not checked yet.
+
+MATT: Okay. That leads into another chamber, a
+hallway, that continues down and then seems to
+
+open into another walkway.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, this door. This one here.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin goes and opens that one, which
+leads into another hallway, a very small chamber,
+
+and there are a couple of odd pieces of dried
+goods in the corners, and a wooden trapdoor.
+
+LIAM: To the bottom.
+
+SAM: Trapdoor to the bottom?
+
+MATT: Seems to be a trapdoor.
+
+LIAM: Any cracks that are a half-inch wide, big
+enough for a spider?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+LIAM: I remember this. Okay. That’s a wall covered
+by that paper there that you don’t need to
+
+uncover, right?
+
+MATT: That is a wall, yes.
+
+LIAM: Back out of this, I know where I am. I will
+go along the wall here. Frumpkin will crawl on the
+
+wall. Oh, you can’t see where I’m pointing.
+
+MATT: On the wall over here?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, and crawl around the corner and peek
+around the corner into that colored spot.
+
+MATT: Okay. Revealing that. It looks, and you can
+see this has been storage. Because Frumpkin
+
+entered, this is all kitchen storage, and looking
+down this hall–
+
+LIAM: This is too complicated for me to mutter, so
+I’m not telling everybody this. This is too complicated.
+
+MATT: That is the gist of what you’ve seen.
+
+SAM: Wow, that’s the whole layout, Frumpy.
+
+MATT: You don’t know how much of this will stay.
+
+SAM: Sure glad we chose a spider!
+
+MARISHA: I take back mocking you for your choice.
+
+LIAM: I don’t hear anything, and you’re nowhere
+near me. What I will do is send Frumpkin down this
+
+hallway, because I did not go this way yet.
+
+MATT: Turning around this way, you can see the
+spiral staircase, the very same where you had
+
+briefly managed to dodge Lorenzo earlier in the
+day, heading up to the second floor.
+
+LIAM: I remember this from her stories, so I will
+continue Frumpkin up the stairs.
+
+SAM: Up the stairs? Oh god, why? Why would you do
+that?
+
+LIAM: Time is passing, because he’s not that
+quick.
+
+MATT: Right as Frumpkin passes that way, this door
+opens up, and one of the two guards heads this
+
+way. A little sloppy, but turns and–
+
+LIAM: We’ll make for the wall at that point.
+
+MATT: “Ew.” He starts walking up, and goes in to
+try and step on Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: What does Frumpkin need to do, armor class,
+right?
+
+MATT: Yeah, what’s Frumpkin’s armor class?
+
+LIAM: Zwölf.
+
+MATT: With disadvantage. That’s 12. It goes ahead
+and stomps down. That’s a hit point.
+
+LIAM: He scurries away– No, he scurries up onto
+the wall, up onto the ceiling.
+
+MATT: What’s the speed for Frumpkin?
+
+LIAM: 20 feet.
+
+MATT: Okay. The guard is like, “Ugh. Hey, Phil?”
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “What? What’s the problem?” “There’s a
+fucking spider in here.”
+
+LIAM: There’s a bug in this world, and I won’t
+rest until he’s dead.
+
+TALIESIN: The most realistic thing I’ve ever–
+
+MATT: Heads back into the room and comes back with
+these two metal tankards that are dinged up, and
+
+they both start throwing them up to try and smash
+the spider. With that, the first one misses and
+
+(clatters) down the stairs.
+
+LIAM: Matt, I don’t know if this will happen in
+time, but what I tell him to do telepathically,
+
+because I should be close enough, 100 feet, is to
+go in here, through this door that’s open, and
+
+over the door and down the back, and once he’s out
+of sight, I will poof him out, if that works. They
+
+might hit him before it happens.
+
+MATT: Well, the first two slams, or tossing of
+tankards, clanging loudly, do not hit.
+
+MARISHA: I thought it was going to blow our
+cover.
+
+LIAM: It’s a spider!
+
+MATT: They both turn around and follow like,
+“Where did it go?”, “It’s this way!” and they both
+
+come back inside the room, trying to follow where
+Frumpkin went.
+
+LIAM: But he disappears in the back of the door.
+
+MATT: They both look around like, “Shit. Ugh. I
+can’t sleep now with that thing around here. Keep
+
+“looking.” That’s the last thing that Frumpkin
+hears before vanishing.
+
+SAM: Oh boy.
+
+LIAM: That was wild. Okay. Yes. Oh, hi. Again.
+There’s two of them. I pull a wire out and I aim
+
+towards my friends on the horses. There’s two of
+them. Six seconds go by. There’s two of them on
+
+the first floor. What do we do?
+
+SAM: What do we do now? Should we go in?
+
+ASHLY: Do we have any sense if their clanging
+disturbed anything?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: Did you see a way to downstairs?
+
+ASHLY: 14.
+
+MATT: You’re listening right now. You don’t hear
+anything, but you’re also on the opposite side of
+
+where anybody else would be. So you have no idea.
+
+LIAM: I saw what the firbolg woman told us about.
+There is a trapdoor not too far from us here.
+
+SAM: Why don’t we go try to get down to it?
+
+LIAM: (whispers) Ja, okay, that’s good. We have
+to be very quiet.
+
+SUMALEE: There may be murderers inside the trap
+door.
+
+LIAM: Here’s what we do. Frumpkin, I take
+Frumpkin. Oh, there’s Frumpkin. I place Frumpkin
+
+on your shoulder.
+
+SAM: Yes?
+
+LIAM: You have to go in this door and I’m going to
+talk into your ear. I’m going to hold Keg’s
+
+shoulder and I am going to talk into your ear and
+tell you which way to go to get you to the
+
+trapdoor. Okay, and you have to be very quiet.
+
+ASHLY: By yourself?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, and see if that trapdoor is open. If
+it is, you will put my spider underneath and we
+
+will see what is going on.
+
+SAM: If the trapdoor is open?
+
+LIAM: If it’s unlocked.
+
+SAM: Oh, if it’s unlocked. Okay, got it.
+
+LIAM: Do not go in yourself right away, send in
+Frumpkin to look. I will be watching the whole time.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MATT: Are you drinking to the point of
+intoxication?
+
+SAM: No, just one big swig.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+SAM: Okay, let’s go.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+SAM: Got to pick a lock first, or check the door.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check on the door.
+
+SAM: 24.
+
+MATT: 24. The door is indeed locked.
+
+SAM: I will try to pick it.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll for that. Plus six.
+
+SAM: It was 22.
+
+MATT: That’s still enough, anyways.
+
+SAM: That does not work.
+
+MATT: What did you roll?
+
+SAM: It was a two plus whatever I said before,
+seven.
+
+MATT: No. You fear breaking one of your lockpicks;
+you remove it.
+
+SAM: I can’t do it!
+
+LIAM: It’s fine.
+
+SAM: Ooh! Push open the door with your massive
+strength.
+
+ASHLY: The noise.
+
+LIAM: Halt, I cast–
+
+SAM: Can you get us in?
+
+LIAM: Ja. I cast Knock on the door.
+
+SUMALEE: I was just looking!
+
+MATT: As you guys are having this conversation,
+you see Caleb flicker his hands through the air,
+
+his eyes focused in a distant stare for a moment.
+You see this strange blue energy sparkle around
+
+the outside of the doorknob and the door opens.
+
+SAM: Wait, did you cast a spell? Oh, oh wow. Okay,
+that was easy. All right, focus up.
+
+ASHLY: Nott, be careful.
+
+SAM: You care about me?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: At every turn– Listen to me. At every turn,
+when you can go left or right, if Frumpkin, who
+
+will be resting on your ear, tickles the inside of
+the ear, it means go right. If nothing happens, go left.
+
+SAM: Inside– tickle, right.
+
+LIAM: Tickle means right.
+
+SAM: Nothing, left. Liam eats farts. I’m ready.
+
+LIAM: You’ve got it.
+
+SAM: Got it.
+
+LIAM and SAM: Tickle means right.
+
+MARISHA: I do another check to see if I see any
+movement upstairs.
+
+MATT: You’re still keeping tabs on it. I’m not
+going to have you roll just for consistently staring.
+
+MARISHA: I just want to make sure.
+
+MATT: Okay, you do see a shadow pass by the door–
+by the window.
+
+MARISHA: By the window.
+
+SAM: I cast Mage Hand just in case.
+
+MATT: Okay. What do you do?
+
+SAM: I will go through and wait for a tickle.
+
+LIAM: My hand is on Keg’s shoulder in case things
+go to shit.
+
+MATT: To the right is a hallway, an open entrance
+that goes into a pantry or storage room. To the
+
+left is a door that leads beyond the kitchen.
+
+LIAM: Tickle means right; left is nothing.
+
+SAM: Is there a tickle?
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+SAM: I will go straight.
+
+MATT: You’re at a door.
+
+SAM: I will try the door.
+
+MATT: It opens, it’s not locked.
+
+LIAM: Tickle, tickle.
+
+MATT: You feel a tickle.
+
+SAM: I turn right.
+
+MATT: Make a stealth check, please, because you’re
+now passing within ear shot of–
+
+SAM: That’s a one!
+
+ASHLY: No!
+
+MATT: Okay. As you turn the corner, part of your
+cloak seems to have caught the edge of one of the
+
+pots that was layered on the table right here. As
+you pull through, pots start clattering. You guys
+
+watch as this whole stack of pots start pulling
+off into the kitchen. The door here swings open
+
+and both of these figures come rushing in. “Hey,
+what the hell!” They both pull out blades.
+
+LIAM: I drop it. We’re in, go! I walk into the
+building.
+
+MATT: All right, roll initiative, you guys.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+ASHLY: Oh fuck.
+
+SAM: The rogue blew it.
+
+MARISHA: The rogue did blow it!
+
+LIAM: That’s not what I expected.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t die!
+
+ASHLY: Ten?
+
+MATT: All righty. 25 to 20?
+
+LIAM: 21.
+
+MARISHA: Also 21. I’m actually going ahead and
+roll my d8 with this as well. Plus seven, 29.
+
+Sorry, 28.
+
+LIAM: Did the sound of clattering pans clatter
+outside?
+
+MATT: What do you mean?
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: Did we hear it?
+
+LIAM: Did the people outside hear it?
+
+MATT: You guys would have heard it very faintly.
+Because the door was open, and it did fill what
+
+was normally a pretty still evening. That brings
+us to them. All right. That brings us to 20 to 15.
+
+SAM: 15.
+
+SUMALEE: 18.
+
+MATT: 18, all right. Nott… all right. 15 to ten?
+
+ASHLY: Ten.
+
+TALIESIN: 12.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, who was a 12? You?
+
+MATT: All right, I think that’s everyone. Top of
+the combat round at this moment. Beau, you’re up first.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Hearing this noise, you are on the wall at
+this point keeping an eye. You guys would probably
+
+be at angles here if you maintained patrol and
+tried to case both sides.
+
+MARISHA: I want to look at the window. Do I see
+that figure I just saw? Does it seem like the pots
+
+and pans got that figure’s attention and they’re
+hastily moving?
+
+MATT: You saw them move casually past one window
+and then move quicker past the other.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, where am I?
+
+MATT: You’re over here, on the wall.
+
+MARISHA: I’m over there.
+
+MATT: You guys have been on the wall this whole
+time, so you’re right over here. Essentially about
+
+that high.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I am going to– do I try and make a
+distraction or run?
+
+SUMALEE: Good question.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to light one of those
+firecrackers again, and I’m going to toss it this
+
+direction towards the front of the door.
+
+SUMALEE: Yes.
+
+MATT: Okay, go ahead and make a dexterity check.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20!
+
+MATT: Where directly do you want to aim it?
+
+MARISHA: I want to try and aim it to where it
+sounds like there’s a commotion happening at this
+
+front door to draw people this way and not at the
+back.
+
+MATT: You go ahead and you throw it. It lands.
+It’s going to take a second for it to go off, but
+
+it definitely seems to have rolled passed and over
+in the vicinity just past that corner.
+
+MARISHA: I’m assuming that was my action?
+
+MATT: That was your action, and I’ll say bonus
+action to pull it out, light it and throw.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to use my movement to
+just haul ass towards these guys.
+
+MATT: Along the wall?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: All right. (counting) That’s about as far as
+you can get right there.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Ending your turn. Caleb you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I slap my hand down on Keg’s shoulder and I,
+with a free hand, stick licorice root into my
+
+mouth and start chewing and squeeze her shoulder
+and you are Hasted. And I will– a couple of
+
+things, and I can’t find my card right now, but
+you have a plus two to your AC, you have advantage
+
+on dexterity saving throws, and an additional
+action on each of your turns.
+
+MATT: So you can have four attacks in a single
+round.
+
+LIAM: You are very fast right now.
+
+MATT: And your movement is twice as much. So you
+have 50 feet a turn.
+
+LIAM: I start moving into the building, as far as
+I can, actually. Behind Nott.
+
+MATT: I’ll put this on Keg as a reminder. So you
+move in (counting) right there?
+
+LIAM: By the doorway? Yeah, that’s good.
+
+MATT: All right, that finishes your go.
+
+LIAM: Pressing into the wall there, so that people
+can get by me.
+
+MATT: All right. One of them shouts, “We got
+company!” over his shoulder, behind.
+
+LIAM: Oh, that’s terrible.
+
+MATT: A natural 19 on the dice. Going to move in
+here, this one is going to move in as well. They
+
+are probably going to move right there. They’re
+both going to make attacks on Nott.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MATT: The first one is going to be a 13 to hit.
+
+SAM: Miss!
+
+MATT: You duck out of the way. You see the short
+sword they pull spark across the stone, carving
+
+down the side. No impact. The other one uses that
+moment to try and swing at you. That’s equally
+
+terrible! That’s far worse, actually. That’s a
+six.
+
+SAM: Miss.
+
+MATT: Both of them (whooshing), no effect, but
+they’re both shouting back over their shoulders
+
+like, “Intruder! Company!” That finishes their go.
+Nila, you’re up first.
+
+SUMALEE: Should I put my spirit totem now to give
+us extra strength?
+
+LIAM: That’s up to you.
+
+SUMALEE: It will only get within 30 feet around,
+so Beau would not be covered.
+
+MARISHA: I’m coming into you, though. I’m coming
+into you guys.
+
+SUMALEE: So when she moves into that– Nila wants
+to go inside.
+
+MATT: You move inside. (counting)
+
+SUMALEE: As close as I can get toward the trapdoor.
+
+MATT: 25, 30. You can get right into that doorway
+right there.
+
+SUMALEE: Then can I take my shillelagh?
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, you cannot get close enough
+to hit them physically. You’re too far away from
+
+the combat.
+
+SUMALEE: Wait. Within ten feet of one of them?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SUMALEE: Poison Spray.
+
+MATT: All right, Poison Spray. Yeah, that one
+creatures does, has a ten feet range. Okay. It
+
+makes a constitution saving throw. That is a
+failure with a natural five, so roll damage on
+
+that. It is a 2d12, right? Plus 1d12. Does this
+damage increase as you level up?
+
+SUMALEE: I think so. I wasn’t sure.
+
+MATT: A lot of cantrips do. Yes, it does, so roll
+2d12.
+
+SUMALEE: One. 11.
+
+MATT: 12 points of poison damage to the one on the
+left there. All of a sudden, as Nila rounds the
+
+corner, extending your hand, this sudden plume of
+dark purplish-black gas emanates around their
+
+face. They begin coughing horribly as it stings
+the inside of their lungs and throat. That
+
+finishes your turn? That brings us to Nott.
+
+SAM: Oh Jesus. I will bonus action disengage, and
+run through the door that the spider told me to go through.
+
+MATT: Which one?
+
+SAM: The closed one.
+
+MATT: All right, you go to that door. It’s
+locked.
+
+SAM: Locked? Great, I’ll go through the other
+door.
+
+MATT: You can use your action to try and fast pick
+it, if you like. It’s up to you. Because you can
+
+do that as a rogue.
+
+SAM: Sure, I’ll do that. I’ll fast pick.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: Pick fast. 12.
+
+MATT: 12? It holds tight.
+
+SAM: Sure. I have any more movement?
+
+MATT: You have currently 20 feet.
+
+SAM: I will run into the next room, as far as I
+can get.
+
+MATT: (counting) That puts you right there. That
+ends your go. It is now Clay’s turn.
+
+SAM: Wait, did she give me any bonuses? No, right?
+Did you do your order of the totem thing?
+
+MATT: No, she did not do her totem.
+
+TALIESIN: Ah man. I guess I’m going to take 60
+feet of running to find out what that commotion is
+
+on the other–
+
+MATT: You’re about there.
+
+TALIESIN: Actually, would I have gone for the
+front door or– No, I would have gone for the
+
+back. That’s what I got.
+
+MATT: Ending your go; Keg, you’re up.
+
+ASHLY: Because I’m hasted, can I get right in
+front of Nila?
+
+MATT: (counting) Yeah, easily. Whoa, you dart
+past. Nila’s standing there–
+
+LIAM: She’s got another ten feet.
+
+MATT: Yes, she does. Nila’s standing there,
+finishes the Poison Spray, suddenly there’s this
+
+blur of speed, plate, and hair as Keg rushes by
+Nila’s side, actually causing the edge of her
+
+clothing to ripple up and back down into place.
+They’re both there, right in your face, and they
+
+watch as you emerge. They don’t even have time to
+process what you are. You’re just a shape and
+
+anger, and they’re like, “Whoa!” What do you want
+to do?
+
+ASHLY: I’m going to smack the poisoned one with my
+battleaxe.
+
+MATT: All right, go for it. First attack.
+
+ASHLY: 17 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits, roll damage.
+
+ASHLY: Okay, and then 1d8 plus four. That’s
+eight.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage. (smack) He looks
+hurt, like between the poison gas and that he’s
+
+hurt. He’s not down yet, but he’s looking rough.
+
+ASHLY: Okay, I’m going to smack him again, this
+time with the warhammer, why not, just for fun.
+
+That will be 15 plus seven. I can’t do math.
+
+MATT: 15 plus seven? Yeah, 25, that hits. Roll
+damage.
+
+ASHLY: Then that is 11.
+
+MATT: 11. With that, he’s (smack), “What the–?!”
+Second hit and he goes down like a sack of potatoes.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: He is on the ground, not moving. His friend
+just sees it, goes, “What?!”
+
+ASHLY: Then I have another action. I’m going to
+smack him, the friend that’s still there. 11?
+
+MATT: 11. This time, seeing this go down, he
+dodges out of the way and your weapon scrapes
+
+across the outside of the door frame, actually
+cutting a bit into it. You have to pull it out.
+
+Still have your bonus action if you wanted to do a
+fourth attack.
+
+ASHLY: I do want to do a fourth attack. I’m going
+to try again. 12.
+
+MATT: 12. Unfortunately, he just manages to duck
+twice. The second time actually gleans off the
+
+shoulder, but the armor’s too thick. No impact.
+
+ASHLY: Should I do action surge?
+
+SAM: Yeah!
+
+LIAM: No! Tell her nothing!
+
+MATT: What do you want to do?
+
+ASHLY: I’m going to use action surge, I guess. No,
+I’m not. I have a little bit more movement, right?
+
+MATT: You have ten feet of movement, yes.
+
+ASHLY: Can I get between him and Nott?
+
+MATT: You can move (counting). You can’t quite get
+between the two of them, but you can be wedged
+
+into the doorway. If they try to move away from
+you, you will get an attack of opportunity if you
+
+want to take one as a reaction.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. Back at the top. Beau,
+you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Have I heard my cherry bomb go
+off?
+
+MATT: Not quite yet, because it’s on an initiative
+of 20.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, what? Amazing. Okay. I’m going to
+move my full speed, my 40 feet. Does it get me in?
+
+MATT: Make an acrobatics check to leap off the
+wall.
+
+MARISHA: 14.
+
+MATT: 14, that’s enough. You get right to the
+kitchen.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: You’re just at the door. That’s your full
+movement.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to use– no. I’m going to use
+my action to move again, to dash.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Nope, I’m going to go that way.
+
+MATT: (counting)
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I don’t want to peek around the
+wall; I want to ninja dash around, and I want to
+
+get up against the wall, peek, and look for anyone
+who might be coming around that hall.
+
+MATT: Okay, gotcha.
+
+MARISHA: As I ran by, I went: Psst! To Caleb, to
+let him know that I was here and going that way.
+
+MATT: You glance over just to see this quick flash
+of Beau disappearing down the hallway.
+
+LIAM: Blue fabric?
+
+MARISHA: I’m like: I’m going to watch this way.
+Watch for me!
+
+MATT: Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I should be able to see just over or
+under Nila’s legs or something, that one last asshole?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to do a fastball special, a Fire
+Bolt, at him.
+
+MATT: Roll an attack.
+
+SAM: Is this Phil, or is this his friend?
+
+ASHLY: Oh yeah, did we kill Phil?
+
+MATT: No, Phil’s the one standing.
+
+ASHLY: (laughs) Sorry, Phil.
+
+SAM: Leave him alive! He must live!
+
+LIAM: I rolled a 15 to hit Phil.
+
+SAM: These guys are human?
+
+MATT: 15 to hit Phil, that hits.
+
+LIAM: Oh, gut!
+
+SAM: These guys are humans?
+
+MATT: One of them was human, one looked to be
+half-elf. Phil is the half-elf. You see this
+
+younger looking guy–
+
+LIAM: (gasps) I rolled a ten. Out of ten.
+
+MATT: Ooh.
+
+ASHLY: Oh.
+
+LIAM: (whoosh)
+
+MATT: So ten, plus?
+
+LIAM: That’s it, it’s just a cantrip.
+
+MATT: Right, cantrip, at 5th-level, it does 2d10.
+
+LIAM: Does it? Okay.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Cantrips get better.
+
+LIAM: 13.
+
+MATT: Okay. 13 points of damage. You feel the
+sudden burst of warm air up under your outfit for
+
+a moment, Nila, as this fire bolt goes firing
+through from between your legs and explodes into
+
+the chest of the guard in front of you. (yells)
+Backs up, and the flames lick up the front of his
+
+armor before he pats them out for a second. That
+finish your turn, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Part of me really likes the way fire feels.
+That’s it.
+
+MATT: Finishing Caleb’s go.
+
+LIAM: Ah, no. I’m going to back up ten feet.
+
+MATT: He’s right there. Knock the chair over as
+you back up. At this point, you guys all hear,
+
+echoing off in the distance, (popping). Small
+firecrackers are now exploding on the outside of
+
+the front fortress (popping).
+
+MARISHA: Let’s hope this works the way I have in
+my head.
+
+SUMALEE: Yes! Blow them up!
+
+MATT: Nott, as you were looking off, you see a
+shape run past and start heading for the door. You see–
+
+SAM: Running past where? Oh, there.
+
+MATT: Past this way, you see a figure make their
+way to the door, and put their back to it. They
+
+haven’t noticed you yet.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: As they put their back to the door, focusing
+on where the sound of those fireworks go off,
+
+looks back through the doorway, into the middle of
+the mess hall, hears this commotion and looks
+
+right to you.
+
+SAM: Wait, sees me or doesn’t see me?
+
+MATT: Does see you. Because you’re not trying to
+hide and it is a lit interior. This is Wohn. This
+
+is the female human barbarian that had rushed
+Caleb before. Previously had a great maul.
+
+However, is instead wielding a very familiar
+two-handed greatsword. Wide blade with runic hilt.
+
+The weapon that Yasha had on her–
+
+SAM: Oh, that’s right, they had the weapons.
+Shit.
+
+MATT: However, that’s her turn. That brings us to
+Nila. You’re up.
+
+SUMALEE: Okay. I want to get to the trapdoor.
+
+LIAM: What do you do, mom?
+
+SUMALEE: Yes. I would like to move. Oh wait, he’s
+not dead yet.
+
+MATT: He is not. You can just barely see another
+individual who appears to be joining the fray
+
+across the way. One of the slavers that is
+responsible for taking your family.
+
+LIAM: Fucking slavers.
+
+SUMALEE: Okay. I’d like to move forward and finish
+off Phil.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SUMALEE: Sorry.
+
+MARISHA: Mother’s vengeance. Fuck you, Phil!
+
+MATT: Are you going Poison Spray, or you going–
+
+SUMALEE: I’m going to use the shillelagh.
+
+MATT: Okay. You step in–
+
+MARISHA: (singing) I can feel it coming in the air
+tonight.
+
+SAM: (synth drums)
+
+SUMALEE: This is for my son, Asar!
+
+MATT: Go for it. Swing for the attack. Actually,
+you could, if you wanted to, I’ll allow you to
+
+move in to flank with Keg. That’ll give you
+advantage on the attack roll.
+
+SUMALEE: Oh, thank you. 12 plus–
+
+ASHLY: You get to roll one more.
+
+MATT: Plus seven, so that would be 18. So roll one
+more time.
+
+SUMALEE: 18, or… eh, 18.
+
+MATT: We’ll take the 18. So that hits. Go ahead
+and roll damage. That’s a d8 plus four.
+
+SUMALEE: Six.
+
+MATT: All right. Ten points of damage. You rush in
+(whack!), as you clock Phil on the side of his
+
+head, it slams him against the stone wall. He’s
+like, “Ugh!” His eyes rolling within his skull. He
+
+looks pretty heavily beaned. Still conscious, but
+pretty badly beat up at this point. That finish
+
+your turn?
+
+SUMALEE: No. Now I would like to place my spirit
+totem. I want to do it as close to the trapdoor
+
+as I can to hopefully protect as many people
+inside.
+
+MATT: You have no visual, unfortunately, because
+this door is still closed and locked. All you can
+
+see is what’s in this room, this kitchen, and this
+chamber here. You have no visual on the trapdoor.
+
+SUMALEE: But I know it’s there. I know it’s there
+from when I–
+
+MATT: You know where it is, yes.
+
+SUMALEE: I feel like I– Yes, I’m going to do it.
+
+LIAM: Redrum.
+
+SUMALEE: What?
+
+LIAM: Whatever you want, Sumalee!
+
+SUMALEE: I don’t know!
+
+LIAM: I’m being a nerd. Have fun!
+
+SUMALEE: Yes, okay. I place my Bear Spirit Totem.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you’re taking the totem.
+
+SUMALEE: This will protect anyone who comes within
+30 feet of it.
+
+MATT: For the next minute, yes.
+
+SUMALEE: Oh gosh. All right. Okay, she grabs her
+smell bag real quick. Hold on!
+
+MATT: Your choice.
+
+SUMALEE: I’m going to save it until next time.
+
+MATT: Okay. Since I actually skipped over Phil’s
+turn, Phil’s going to, out of retribution for the
+
+attack, swing towards you, Nila, having had no
+luck against you, and having not even wanting to
+
+touch this weird dwarven blur that’s just
+destroyed his friend. He’s going to swing
+
+towards you with the blade. That’s going to be a
+14? What’s your armor class?
+
+SUMALEE: 15.
+
+MATT: 15? Your shield deflects it off the side. No
+impact. All right. Phil’s accepting his fate.
+
+Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Oh boy. Me against a barbarian? Has she
+turned to–
+
+ASHLY: Run for sure.
+
+SAM: To see me?
+
+LIAM: No. Stab and disengage.
+
+MATT: She has noticed you, yes.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: She used her turn to move and dash, so had
+no action yet. But went up against the front door,
+
+hearing the sound from outside, and then turned
+and just focused on you.
+
+SAM: Fuck. I will– Keg is what?
+
+LIAM: Keg is right there to the bad guy. Am I
+mistaken?
+
+SAM: Oh, fuck that guy.
+
+LIAM: But I mean, sneak attack damage–
+
+SAM: He’s got like two hit points. Fuck that guy.
+I’m going to try to disable the giant, larger
+
+threat than Phil, which probably won’t work, but
+it’s worth a shot. I will point at the barbarian
+
+and say: Oi, I’m thinking of removing my spine
+because it’s only holding me back! I will cast
+
+Hideous Laughter on the giant thing.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: 14.
+
+MATT: 14 wisdom saving throw. That’s a natural
+six. Falls prone.
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+ASHLY: She’s prone!
+
+SAM: I took out the barbarian, guys.
+
+MARISHA: Well, she’s prone.
+
+LIAM: I didn’t even see the miniature beyond the
+door. I didn’t know she was there.
+
+MATT: She falls cackling to the ground. (laughter)
+and is rolling on the ground, the blade falling
+
+out of her grip for the moment and then she
+clutches it back to her, rolls with it.
+
+SAM: Oh, she has it?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Tight tight tight.
+
+SAM: Cool cool cool. Tasha’s: at the end of its
+turn, it can make a wisdom saving throw. Hold on.
+
+Okay. I’m going to get out of there, run past the
+laughing thing.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: As fast as I can. Oh, not that way, the other
+way.
+
+MATT: That’s fine. (counting)
+
+SAM: Yeah. Do I try to get her weapon or do I keep
+running? She’s clutching it, still, you said?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: So it’d be like a strength check. I’m just
+going to keep running. Another 30 feet.
+
+MATT: Which direction? Around here?
+
+SAM: Yeah. Well, because I’m still trying to get
+where the spider told me to go.
+
+MATT: (counting) There you go.
+
+MARISHA: As Nott comes around the corner, I’m just
+going to go: Hey! Psst!
+
+SAM: Huh? Ah!
+
+MARISHA: (shushing)
+
+MATT: That finishes Nott’s go. Clay, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: Another 60 feet.
+
+MATT: Are you jumping off the wall or going full
+square on the outer wall?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll jump off the wall.
+
+MATT: Make an acrobatics check to try and land.
+
+TALIESIN: Ooh, that’s 14.
+
+MATT: 14? Okay, you fall to one knee, but you get
+up okay. You don’t take any damage.
+
+LIAM: He’s just that good.
+
+MATT: (counting) 30. You’re just coming up on the
+outside of the kitchen. The horse is just (snorting).
+
+TALIESIN: Hey, big guy.
+
+MARISHA: “Hey, big guy!”
+
+SAM: This guy!
+
+TALIESIN: How could you be angry at a horse, man?
+It’s not like this is an evil horse.
+
+LIAM: It’s Jeff Bridges in The Big Lebowski.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s not that far off.
+
+MATT: That finishes Clay’s turn. Keg, you’re up.
+
+ASHLY: I’m still Hasted, yes?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+ASHLY: Okay, great. So I’m going to smack Phil.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+ASHLY: That is 18.
+
+MATT: 18 definitely hits.
+
+ASHLY: And nine?
+
+MATT: Nine points of damage?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Phil is down. Whack up the side of the
+head. Phil just crumples to the ground.
+
+ASHLY: Sorry, Phil! I’m going to run. Can I catch
+up to Nott?
+
+LIAM and ASHLY: 50 feet of movement.
+
+ASHLY: 50 feet of movement.
+
+SAM: Did you see where I went?
+
+LIAM: Bing bang bong bing bong bing bong!
+
+MATT: (counting) You have ten more feet. You can’t
+quite get to Nott, but there’s a laughing
+
+barbarian on the ground.
+
+ASHLY: I could dash, right?
+
+LIAM: She’s on the ground, though, and she is out
+of it so you could fucking Goodfellas the shit
+
+out of that woman.
+
+ASHLY: All right.
+
+MATT: Up to you.
+
+LIAM: Or whatever. Whatever you want.
+
+ASHLY: Okay. Yeah yeah yeah. Oh, I feel bad! I was
+kind of friends with her back in the day. Okay,
+
+we’ll do it.
+
+MATT: So the dwarf moves into there.
+
+ASHLY: I teabag her for roughly 15 minutes and
+then I– hastily. All right, here we go. Fuck.
+
+SAM: I think you may get advantage because she’s
+prone.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s advantage on the attack.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, okay, great. 11.
+
+MATT: 11? No.
+
+MARISHA: Is her AC down?
+
+MATT: Nope. The first attack, you go to swing and
+she rolls over from the laughter and just hit the
+
+ground. The stone cracks from the impact.
+
+ASHLY: So I have two more actions.
+
+MATT: Yeah, because that was your second attack.
+Then you have your extra attack, and then you have
+
+a bonus attack.
+
+SAM: Oh my god.
+
+ASHLY: I’m Hasted, right?
+
+MATT: That’s how you have an additional attack. So
+you have two more attacks.
+
+ASHLY: Try again. So 20?
+
+MATT: 20 definitely hits.
+
+SAM: Still advantage on the attack, right?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+TALIESIN: Roll again in case you crit.
+
+ASHLY: Okay, no, 20, and then–
+
+MATT: All right, roll damage on that.
+
+ASHLY: Ten.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it an auto–
+
+MATT: She makes a saving throw.
+
+TALIESIN: I mean is it advantage?
+
+LIAM: It is advantage, but it’s not an auto crit.
+
+MATT: What is the DC? She rolled a 14.
+
+SAM: 14.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that spell has faded.
+
+SAM: Oh no. But you can still attack one more
+time, right?
+
+MATT: She’s still prone and you get another
+attack, if you like.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Get that motherfucker. Get it get it, girl,
+get it get it.
+
+ASHLY: I don’t get advantage anymore, right?
+
+MATT: You still have advantage, she’s still
+prone.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, she’s still prone, okay.
+
+SAM: Fuck you!
+
+ASHLY: 14?
+
+MARISHA: Barbarian, 14?
+
+MATT: 14 does not hit. It misses by one.
+
+SAM: Those dice are terrible!
+
+MATT: I’m sorry. However, you are just a
+frightening display in front of her.
+
+ASHLY: Now I’m going to action surge.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh! Yaaas, girl, yaaas!
+
+ASHLY: Shit! All right, 17!
+
+MATT: That does hit.
+
+ASHLY: Oh my god, Jesus Christ almighty. 11
+damage.
+
+MATT: 11 points of damage, all right. You have one
+more attack from the action surge.
+
+SAM: Another one?
+
+ASHLY: Oh fuck yes, okay. Come on, baby. 20!
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: It took six attacks!
+
+ASHLY: So what happens when I crit?
+
+MATT: Roll your dice and double it.
+
+ASHLY: Double the dice. So then that’s five–
+
+MATT: That’s ten. Ten plus your modifier.
+
+ASHLY: Ten plus my mod– 14.
+
+MATT: 14 points of damage.
+
+ASHLY: But then I roll–?
+
+LIAM: What is it normally?
+
+ASHLY: A 1d8 plus four.
+
+MATT: You rolled a five, you double that to ten
+and then add the four. So 14 damage on a single
+
+hit. With that one final burst of interior
+strength and adrenaline kicks in and you slam
+
+twice into the body of Wohn on the ground, the
+wind knocked out of her. Her eyes go wild for a
+
+second before focusing on you, the anger and
+hatred brewing in her face as her brow furrows.
+
+That, I believe, is all you can do on your turn.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you have a little bit more–?
+
+ASHLY: I’ve got ten more feet of movement?
+(laughing) Okay, I’m going to try to get away from
+
+her. I’m going to go–
+
+LIAM: Zip!
+
+ASHLY: You know I’m going to go back.
+
+SAM: Yeah!
+
+SUMALEE: Love it!
+
+MATT: She does get an attack of opportunity on
+you, swinging from the ground towards you. She is
+
+prone so she has disadvantage on the attack roll,
+but she’s going to try. That’s going to be 14?
+
+ASHLY: No, doesn’t hit.
+
+MATT: Yeah. It clangs against the back of your
+armor and you manage to get out of the way.
+
+ASHLY: Whoa!
+
+MATT: Top of the round is Beau!
+
+MARISHA: Okay, where’s Nott? Nott’s over here?
+
+MATT: Nott’s right there on the other side.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to run around.
+
+SAM: I fire three crossbow bolts.
+
+MARISHA: That was my 40 feet?
+
+MATT: Oh, 40 feet sorry.
+
+MARISHA: I have 40. No, I’m getting to Nott.
+
+MATT: There you go, that’s your 40 feet.
+
+MARISHA: I go– (laughing)
+
+SAM: Hey girl!
+
+MARISHA: Holy shit!
+
+MATT: By the way, in the background still
+(fireworks exploding).
+
+MARISHA: I did that.
+
+SAM: Have you been treating Caleb well?
+
+MARISHA: What? Do you need to get to the thing? To
+pick the lock?
+
+SAM: Yeah I think it’s around that way? I don’t
+know.
+
+MARISHA: Okay! I think I know where it is. I scoop
+up Nott.
+
+SAM: (yells)
+
+MATT: All right, you’re not quite against– you’re
+ten feet from Nott right now.
+
+MARISHA: Slap fight!
+
+MATT: That’s your full movement. You have to use a
+dash action if you wanted to try and you move at
+
+half speed carrying Nott.
+
+LIAM: There’s nobody to attack.
+
+SAM: I have free will and I could follow you. Just
+say, “Follow me.”
+
+MARISHA: But then we have to wait until your turn.
+Or I could just scoop you up and drag you a little
+
+bit and go that direction!
+
+MATT: What are you going to do?
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to do that! I’m going to dash.
+
+MATT: You dash. That’s five–
+
+MARISHA: Come here!
+
+SAM: (yells)
+
+MATT: (counting) There you go. So you get Nott
+about there.
+
+SAM: Thanks.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to spend– do I want to do
+this? Yeah, I’m going to spend a ki point to do
+
+that thing that makes me move fast. Step of the
+Wind, yes.
+
+LIAM: Cocaine.
+
+MATT: (counting) You manage to drag Nott to the
+door.
+
+MARISHA: Can I open the door? Is there enough
+room?
+
+MATT: It’s locked.
+
+MARISHA: Locked. Okay, it’s through this door,
+though!
+
+SAM: How do you know?
+
+MARISHA: Because I ran by it earlier.
+
+SAM: Oh, okay.
+
+MARISHA: I remember from Nila describing it. I
+took really detailed notes.
+
+MATT: Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Oh, my turn?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: Oh jeez louise. Okay, I’m going to move
+forward, back towards where I see Nila in there.
+
+MATT: Ten, 15, 20.
+
+LIAM: That’s as far as I can go?
+
+MATT: No, you can go two more steps if you want.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to go towards Keg.
+
+MATT: 30 right there.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, and I may do nothing, but–
+
+MATT: Damn, this new iPad is eating it on the
+music.
+
+SAM: What happened?
+
+MATT: I think it’s just slow. The old one
+disappeared and I have to get a new one.
+
+SAM: Disappeared, like was stolen?
+
+MATT: I can’t find the bag. It’s fine. Don’t worry
+about it.
+
+LIAM: DM, can I dance back and forth like this and
+see what I can see through that doorway? Can I see
+
+this one?
+
+MATT: If you wanted to go there as opposed to
+there, I’ll let you stand there. You can just
+
+barely see somebody on the ground.
+
+LIAM: Oh look, there’s somebody laughing and
+giggling on the floor.
+
+MATT: No longer laughing.
+
+LIAM: Fire Bolt.
+
+MATT: Go for it, roll for the attack with
+disadvantage.
+
+ASHLY: Big money!
+
+LIAM: That is a 13.
+
+MATT: Unfortunately strikes the stone ground and
+bursts into fire. No effect.
+
+LIAM: Done and done.
+
+MATT: Ending Caleb’s turn. (Wohn screams). Runs
+up, charging angrily, is going to reckless attack.
+
+Is going to attack twice with her greataxe against
+you with reckless, so it’s with advantage on both
+
+attacks. The first attack is a natural 20. All
+right, so that’s a natural 20 on the first one.
+
+Second attack is a natural 19 plus seven. So yeah,
+she hits you with both. First one’s a crit.
+
+ASHLY: Jesus Christ all right.
+
+MATT: That’s cocked. That is going to be 12 points
+of slashing damage for the first hit. The
+
+greatsword ends up striking across your chest, the
+impact sending you back and Haste disappears.
+
+ASHLY, MARISHA, and SUMALEE: No!
+
+LIAM: Wait, why? What?
+
+MARISHA: Because she has Yasha’s–
+
+MATT: She has Yasha’s sword and dispelled it.
+
+LIAM: (gasps) You motherfucker, Matthew Mercer. We
+will have words about the rules that exist.
+
+MATT: Then swings back with a second strike
+towards you and impacts.
+
+LIAM: Wow.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be 13 points of slashing
+damage. The second strike against you with the
+
+greatsword, the flash of white energy, you see the
+runes on the hilt suddenly spark and that
+
+adrenaline in your body suddenly fades and your
+body becomes super lethargic and you are stunned
+
+for your next turn.
+
+ASHLY: I’m stunned?!
+
+MATT: The Haste has faded and your body is
+drained.
+
+LIAM: It’s dispelled, but the stun still happens?
+
+MATT: As soon as Haste ends, your body–
+
+LIAM: That’s some bullshit, Matthew.
+
+MATT: That’s how it works, that’s the downside of
+the spell, man!
+
+LIAM: Whatever you say, but still that’s some
+bullshit.
+
+ASHLY: So I just can’t do anything on my next
+turn.
+
+MATT: Next turn you can’t do anything.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, it’s wasted.
+
+MATT: Nila, you’re up.
+
+SUMALEE: Okay.
+
+ASHLY: Oh man, I’m going to get rocked.
+
+SAM: Don’t worry, you have a totally squishy
+wizard standing behind you. He’ll protect you.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SUMALEE: That’s what I’m thinking. I’m thinking
+yes, the wizard will protect Keg.
+
+SAM and TALIESIN: Sure.
+
+SUMALEE: I’ve got to go toward the trapdoor. Can
+I go through that door?
+
+MATT: Currently, you walk up and try the door.
+It’s locked.
+
+SUMALEE: I don’t have the strength to (grunts)?
+
+MATT: Make a strength check. Roll a d20 and roll
+your strength modifier.
+
+MARISHA: Come on firbolg!
+
+SUMALEE: 17?
+
+MATT: Plus?
+
+SUMALEE: Two!
+
+MATT: Plus two? 19? You force your shoulder
+against it and it doesn’t give. The feeling and
+
+the sensation of knowing your family is nearby
+surges in your body and you pull back a few more
+
+steps and then charge in. With one aggressive
+(yells), the door flips open. The actual handle
+
+itself breaking and snapping on the wood.
+
+ASHLY: It’s like a mom lifting a car.
+
+MATT: Essentially. With a 19, that’s exactly what
+it is. That door is now open and you step through
+
+and join the rest of them.
+
+SAM: (yells)
+
+MARISHA: No, Nott, no!
+
+SAM: (yelling) Do you know Pumat Sol?
+
+(laughter)
+
+SUMALEE: Can I still cast or can I do a bonus
+thing?
+
+MATT: You can do a bonus action thing, yes, but
+your action has been used to break through the door.
+
+SUMALEE: Okay. Now I’m going to protect the three
+of us, at least the three of us for now. Unless I
+
+get Caleb too with the bear spirit totem.
+
+MATT: You could drop it there. As a matter of
+fact, everybody except for Keg and Clay.
+
+SUMALEE: Ten extra hit points, advantage on
+strength checks.
+
+MATT: Ten temporary hit points.
+
+SUMALEE: Temporary hit points, advantage on
+strength and saving throws.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it anybody who steps into that field
+now, or is it just whoever’s in the field when it drops?
+
+MARISHA: Advantage on strength and what?
+
+SUMALEE: Saving throws.
+
+SAM: Wow.
+
+LIAM: On all saving throws?
+
+MATT: When the spirit appears, so you guys do not
+get it, unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, so you’re still fucked. Goddamn
+it.
+
+MATT: So ten temporary hit points to Caleb, Nila,
+Nott, and Beau for the next minute.
+
+LIAM: The hit points are phenomenal.
+
+SUMALEE: I could’ve done the hawk because of what
+happened with Molly I–
+
+MARISHA: No, this is great. You’re great.
+
+MATT: That ends Nila’s turn. Nott you’re up.
+
+SAM: I’m going to try and pick this– is the door
+locked? Did we try the door? Did you try the door?
+
+MARISHA: I did.
+
+MATT: The door is locked, yes.
+
+SAM: Okay, I will Mage Hand pick the lock as a
+bonus action.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Terrible, 13.
+
+MATT: The Mage Hand doesn’t have the delicate
+touch.
+
+MARISHA: You have such bad luck with this.
+
+SAM: I know. Action! I will also try to pick the
+lock. Worse.
+
+LIAM: Oh no! Come on!
+
+MARISHA: This is how Molly died! You trying to
+pick locks!
+
+SAM: I know! I don’t know what’s wrong with me!
+
+LIAM: Maybe if we offer Taliesin’s new character
+in exchange for our lives, we can get out of this.
+
+ASHLY: No one’s gotten attached to him yet,
+right?
+
+SUMALEE: I have! Nila has!
+
+MATT: I kind of have, too.
+
+TALIESIN: I can roll another one.
+
+LIAM: You know you want to roll a halfling
+sorcerer, come on!
+
+MATT: So that’s your action and your bonus action.
+
+ASHLY: I’m attached, too.
+
+SAM: That’s all I can do, right? I can just move.
+
+MATT: Yeah you can move, if you wish to.
+
+SAM: There’s nowhere to move, so I’ll hang out by
+the door, maybe try to tuck behind someone bigger
+
+than me?
+
+MATT: Okay. Clay, it’s you and the horses. What
+are you doing?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to run in the door.
+
+MATT: 15, 20.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, that’s what I see? There’s an open
+door. I’m going to the open door.
+
+LIAM: We just destroyed the door.
+
+MATT: 30. You’re so big, this was not designed for
+his firbolg form.
+
+TALIESIN: Hey, guys.
+
+MATT: That’s your movement.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t see anything. I’m going to keep
+running.
+
+MATT: (counting) You walk into this chamber and
+you see everybody else. You also see this weird
+
+spectral bear spirit that seems to have apparated
+in the center of this hallway that looks at you
+
+and goes (bear growls).
+
+TALIESIN: Hey. Can I see the barbarian through the
+door?
+
+MATT: You can! You glance over and take in the
+scene. That’s your movement and your action.
+
+TALIESIN: So I only have a bonus?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+TALIESIN: Hold on. I’m learning how this works. I
+can cast Healing Word.
+
+MATT: You can, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: On you.
+
+SAM: Phil?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah! No, on you, of course. I see that
+this is going down and I’m going to cast a quick
+
+Healing Word. That’s–
+
+MATT: A d4 plus your wisdom modifier.
+
+TALIESIN: 1d4 plus my wisdom modifier.
+
+SAM: A cleric who likes to heal? This is amazing.
+
+TALIESIN: Six points immediately to you.
+
+ASHLY: Okay, thank you.
+
+LIAM and MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+MATT: That’s your turn?
+
+TALIESIN: Yep, that’s everything I’ve got.
+
+MATT: Keg, you’re up.
+
+ASHLY: Well. Oh, I can–
+
+MATT: You can’t do anything because you’re
+stunned.
+
+ASHLY: I’m stunned! Fuck, I forgot. Never mind!
+
+MATT: That’s the end of your turn. Top of the
+round, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Oh! Okay, it’s me.
+
+LIAM: (singing) Welcome back.
+
+MARISHA: Shit! What’s the quickest way through?
+Can I get through everybody and go this way? Yeah,
+
+I’m going to do that. Excuse, me. Sorry. Pardon
+me. Excuse me.
+
+MATT: You’re still 15 feet from Wohn.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, can I step back a few feet? I don’t
+want to go that full movement, maybe on top of the
+
+table. Can I get on top of the table?
+
+MATT: If you want to be on there instead, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: That’s cool. I want to gauge it right
+over Keg’s shoulders and throw two darts.
+
+MATT: Okay, you’re going to attempt to ricochet
+off of her armor. Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Over top of her shoulders to the giant
+barbarian behind her? Hopefully?
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Or ricochet, whatever’s the coolest.
+
+MATT: I’m just embellishing for fun. Why not?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: We’ll see if it works.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, first one: 17?
+
+MATT: 17 hits. Actually, you have an advantage,
+technically, because she was doing reckless
+
+attacks last turn.
+
+MARISHA: 13 on the higher one. That’s a 20.
+
+MATT: That hits. First one hits.
+
+MARISHA: What do these do? These do a d8 damage?
+These do monk or do these–?
+
+MATT: These are the–
+
+MARISHA: These are the– no, these still do 1d4,
+right?
+
+MATT: These are still darts, they’re modified
+darts. You would need to get daggers or things
+
+that are considered monk weapons to do additional
+damage.
+
+MARISHA: So the first one is crap. That’s five
+damage.
+
+MATT: Five damage. Second one, with advantage
+still.
+
+MARISHA: My second one. 21.
+
+MATT: 21 hits. Roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, that’s better. Eight damage.
+
+MATT: Five and eight. As you’re there, getting
+your brain back in the space and the strength
+
+returns to you. You look up at the time the
+barbarian is pulling back for another round of
+
+blows, the giant blade still crimson with your own
+blood. These two serrated blade-like discs into
+
+her chest from over your shoulders. You glance
+over quickly and see Beau waving to you through
+
+the doorway.
+
+ASHLY: I don’t need to say it, but Keg is
+aroused.
+
+MATT: All righty, that finishes Beau’s turn.
+Caleb, you’re up.
+
+SAM: (singing) Lady boner!
+
+MARISHA: I just give a wink.
+
+SAM: Clang!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Wow. I have a joke, I’m going to keep it in
+my head. This is all going much worse than I
+
+intended it to, so I am going to tug on the glove
+and I’m going to slap it and send out three–
+
+SAM: Is that the fly?
+
+MARISHA: Fucking fly!
+
+LIAM: Get him. Beauregard, you’re the monk.
+Scorching Ray, three times on the barbarian. First
+
+one is shit.
+
+MATT: Well, technically, you don’t have advantage.
+It’s advantage on melee attacks, not ranged
+
+attacks, but it’s fine.
+
+LIAM: Second is a 15. First is total shit, second
+is a 15.
+
+MATT: 15 hits.
+
+LIAM: Third is better than that.
+
+MATT: So two hits.
+
+LIAM: That is eight for the first and eight for
+the second.
+
+MATT: Nice! Oof. That’ll be enough. How do you
+want to do this, Caleb?
+
+MARISHA: Yes!
+
+LIAM: I have had very bad luck with people’s
+skulls, so I am going to send the fire into her
+
+thighs and legs and burn the bottom of her torso
+and even the center of her being, her stomach, and
+
+make it burn in upon itself and harden in
+blackened crust.
+
+SAM: Ugh!
+
+MATT: She screams out in pain, the flesh itself
+burning black instantly and cracking as she falls
+
+to the ground screaming. The voice slowly thins
+out into a faint (death rattle) before expiring.
+
+Need you to make a wisdom saving throw, Caleb.
+
+SAM: Wisdom saving– oh, because fire.
+
+LIAM: That’s a 13.
+
+MATT: 13. You take a moment, and push through, and
+keep your wits about you.
+
+LIAM: That’s the first time I did that. First time
+I did not go into a state.
+
+SAM: Wow.
+
+LIAM: (breathing heavily)
+
+MARISHA: Beau turns around to Caleb and goes:
+Damn, Caleb.
+
+MATT: The firecrackers have ended. Silence comes
+over the fortress.
+
+SAM: Nobody else is coming?
+
+MATT: None that you see or hear.
+
+LIAM: Stay alert. We’re not done here.
+
+SAM: Go back to lock-a-pickin’?
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to walk over to you and give
+you some healing.
+
+ASHLY: Oh, you are the best!
+
+MATT: DC is getting higher with each.
+
+SAM: 15.
+
+MATT: Total of 15?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: It’s not going through. This is a very
+intricate lock. It’s obviously protecting a lot.
+
+SAM: Nila, I need you!
+
+SUMALEE: Can I muscle my way through?
+
+LIAM: Wait for me.
+
+MATT: Make a strength check, if you want to. You
+still have advantage on the strength checks
+
+because you’re a bear for the time being.
+
+MARISHA: Do it! Yes! Okay, one more. Do a second
+one.
+
+MATT: Roll it one more time.
+
+MARISHA: That’s better?
+
+SUMALEE: No.
+
+MATT: The door is too strong. This one is actually
+reinforced and seems to– knowing what it’s
+
+hiding– designed to be the strongest door on this
+floor.
+
+LIAM: Nott, wait for me.
+
+TALIESIN: 12 points to you.
+
+SAM: Come, quickly!
+
+ASHLY: I follow too.
+
+SAM: Everyone stand back! Caleb’s going to do a
+thing.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to watch this front door and
+make sure no one else comes down the steps.
+
+MATT: Over here?
+
+MARISHA: No, here.
+
+SAM: (stammering) Get the sword!
+
+ASHLY: Oh, the sword? I’ll grab the sword, then.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, get the sword. Sword in the
+haversack.
+
+MATT: Grab the sword. You pull the sheath off her
+back and slip it in the haversack.
+
+TALIESIN: Anything else worth checking?
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+LIAM: Attune to the sword.
+
+MARISHA: No, I’m putting it in the haversack.
+
+ASHLY: Before I leave, could I investigate–
+
+MARISHA: It’s Yasha’s sword.
+
+ASHLY: –to see if I see anything else worth
+taking?
+
+MATT: If you’d like to. It takes a moment for you
+to rifle through her stuff.
+
+ASHLY: I’ll do that. What is that check?
+
+MATT: Investigation.
+
+ASHLY: That’s a 14.
+
+MATT: 14? Okay. You manage to find about 38 gold
+pieces in the pouch that she keeps on her side.
+
+You find another pouch that is a bunch of dried
+meats that have been salted and smoked, like a
+
+jerky. You also find another pack that has teeth
+in it. Just a collection of teeth. Different
+
+sizes, different ages.
+
+ASHLY: No keys or anything like that?
+
+MATT: No keys.
+
+ASHLY: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to start walking to any of the
+dead bodies and– or the unconscious people who
+
+are not technically dead yet.
+
+MATT: They’ve bled out.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, they bled out? All right, I’m going
+to start using Thaumaturgy to start cooking them
+
+away in a big pile of mold and mushrooms.
+
+SAM: Ugh! What the fuck is wrong with you?
+
+SUMALEE: He’s just returning the bodies to their
+natural state.
+
+TALIESIN: Aw, it’s nice to have someone who really
+understands. It’s the process.
+
+SUMALEE: I understand.
+
+SAM: Caleb!
+
+LIAM: I will find Nott. Have you done everything
+that you could here?
+
+SAM: I’m sorry I couldn’t get it open. I tried,
+and I made noise, and I should’ve drunk more, is
+
+what I should’ve done.
+
+LIAM: We all should’ve drunk more. It is no shame
+on you. I place my hand on the trapdoor–
+
+MATT: Not on the trapdoor, the door that leads
+into it.
+
+LIAM: The door is locked?
+
+MATT: The door is locked, yeah.
+
+LIAM: I place my hand on the door and I cast
+Knock.
+
+MATT: (click, creaking) The door opens.
+
+SAM: He’s so amazing!
+
+TALIESIN: Pretty good, yeah.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to walk through and find that
+trapdoor that I’ve already seen through Frumpkin’s eyes.
+
+MATT: All right. You go to the trapdoor.
+
+SAM: Is it open? You want me to check it for
+traps?
+
+LIAM: Yes, please.
+
+SAM: All right. I’ll go check it for traps. That’s
+a 28. No, 26.
+
+MATT: 26? It is trapped.
+
+SAM: There’s a trap!
+
+MATT: From the underside of it.
+
+LIAM: I back up about 15 feet out of this little
+cubby.
+
+MARISHA: From the underside.
+
+SUMALEE: So if we open it, it will–
+
+MARISHA: It’ll hurt them.
+
+SAM: Back up everybody, out of the room, and I’ll
+reach my mage hand around.
+
+LIAM: A reach around.
+
+SAM: A reach around. Give it a little tuggy with
+the reach around. Just pull it. Pull it. Just tug
+
+it until it explodes. Just reach around and tug it
+until it explodes. Just keep on working it! Might
+
+have to use the other hand for a while, that one’s
+getting tired, Matt!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Wait for the explosion!
+
+MATT: Roll for reach around.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: What am I rolling?
+
+MATT: This is still another thieves’ tools check,
+so still plus seven.
+
+SAM: Okay. 22 this time.
+
+MATT: 22. That’ll do it.
+
+SUMALEE: Explosion!
+
+LIAM: Your mother watches this show, right?
+
+MATT: You manage to just lift the trapdoor enough
+to slide your hand underneath. There is a trigger
+
+cable underneath that has been set into a hook.
+Right before it pulls taut enough for it to snap,
+
+you grab it, lift it up, put it onto a shoulder.
+Using the cable, you pull it back until you find a
+
+piece of rock off to the side and hook it to it to
+where it maintains the tautness. You find another
+
+metal ring that is designed specifically to hold
+the trap when it’s not set. It does not go off.
+
+The trapdoor opens, and there is a staircase that
+descends to a lower floor.
+
+SAM: See? Just easy as that.
+
+LIAM: Is it open?
+
+SAM: It’s open. Let’s go in.
+
+LIAM: Open it. No. I hold up Frumpkin, I place him
+on the edge of the trapdoor, and send him
+
+scrambling under to look.
+
+MATT: Okay. Make a perception check for Frumpkin.
+
+MARISHA: I’m still watching this front area.
+
+LIAM: 15.
+
+MATT: 15? Okay. Frumpkin descends slowly down the
+stairs. There’s a faint bit of torchlight in
+
+there. You hear whimpering. A few voices faintly
+whimpering. Inside the chamber– I can show you, actually.
+
+SAM: Wait, what? No, you had the upstairs built,
+Matt, you didn’t have the downstairs built. That
+
+would be too much.
+
+MATT: I’ll be right back.
+
+(groaning)
+
+SAM: Guys? D&D Beyond.
+
+LIAM: We learned so much.
+
+SAM: We’ve learned so much about– Hey Taliesin,
+welcome back to the show!
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you, it’s great to be back.
+
+MARISHA: Will you show off your shirt? It’s a
+little squishy.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a little squishy.
+
+SAM: “New character, who dis?” Aw, that’s great!
+
+LIAM: Last week, Taliesin was hanging like Tom
+Cruise in a Mission: Impossible movie just above
+
+the table waiting to drop in, and we all thought
+it would happen near the end of the episode, but
+
+it didn’t. It didn’t. How does it feel to finally
+let that little bit of rope cut and be in the game again?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got to say, it’s been a little
+nerve wracking coming in as someone new. It’s very interesting.
+
+LIAM: I like this guy.
+
+TALIESIN: I like this guy, too.
+
+MARISHA: I like this guy a lot.
+
+ASHLY: He’s awesome.
+
+SAM: His voice is sexy.
+
+ASHLY: He had such a great intro.
+
+LIAM: I like pink more than purple, if I can say.
+
+TALIESIN: I like it all, so I’m a fan.
+
+MARISHA: Do you really like pink more than purple?
+Like, as a person?
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: I can’t tell if you’re lying to me or
+not.
+
+LIAM: I like pink a little more than purple.
+
+TALIESIN: I was very happy with the pink mohawk.
+It was a very good mohawk. It was black-light reactive.
+
+ASHLY: Really?
+
+SAM: Oh, Matt’s back!
+
+MATT: So hi guys. Frumpkin slowly descends the
+staircase, and you can see a rack that is bolted
+
+into the wall that has chains hanging from it, a
+few other sets of manacles, a few torture
+
+implements: long metal things that are hooked at
+the end, brands. There are a few spaces that are
+
+currently empty where tools probably would
+normally hang, and there is another door that
+
+leads to a chamber beyond, and that’s where you
+hear the whimpering coming from.
+
+LIAM: What I don’t like about this is that the
+asshole was sleeping upstairs and we don’t know
+
+about that at all, but I send Frumpkin along the
+ceiling and through– that looks like a barred gate.
+
+MATT: As Frumpkin looks within, you can see
+another chamber. You can see another hired figure,
+
+at least the same cloaked individuals you had
+encountered before, same attire, who is currently
+
+sitting at the back, up against the wall, and is
+looking in the direction of the door expectantly.
+
+LIAM: I will attempt to send Frumpkin over his
+head along the ceiling stealthily.
+
+MATT: Make a stealth check for Frumpkin. Frumpkin
+also noticed there is a cage in the corner that
+
+contains two figures in there. Looks to be two
+humanoid figures.
+
+LIAM: Humanoid, that’s it?
+
+MATT: With that perception roll and the low light,
+it’s hard to tell. One appears to be larger, one
+
+appears to be smaller.
+
+SAM: Yasha and Jester,
+
+LIAM: I’m going to keep going and you said roll–
+
+MATT: Make a stealth check.
+
+LIAM: Very good, that is a 19.
+
+MATT: Okay. Unnoticing, he sits there waiting, arm
+against the wall. Frumpkin slowly makes his way
+
+through this hallway. It bends off on a corner
+around the side. Frumpkin continues beyond and it
+
+curves around another corner here. There is an
+archway that leads into another room that has two
+
+more cages that contain– each cage contains
+another figure. The figures in there appear to be
+
+slumped down and either unconscious or sleeping.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, he pauses, he’s looking for green or
+blue or goth.
+
+MATT: Here?
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+MATT: You see Ruzza and Protto, two more members
+of The Iron Shepherds that are currently waiting
+
+there with their eyes towards the entryway
+expectantly. It seems that they have been notified
+
+of your presence.
+
+SAM: How?
+
+MATT: I don’t know, maybe the loud firecrackers
+going off right above?
+
+TALIESIN: What do they do, those two? What do
+those two do?
+
+SAM: They’re bad. One’s a magic person.
+
+LIAM: So would Frumpkin be at the edge of that
+gate?
+
+MATT: Frumpkin would be here.
+
+LIAM: I rolled a 19 last we checked and that was
+20 seconds ago.
+
+MATT: As they’re both standing there waiting,
+Protto, the little halfling sharpshooter creep,
+
+glances up and goes, takes his shortbow and–
+
+LIAM: Do I see this?
+
+MATT: Pulls it off his shoulder. Mm-hmm.
+
+LIAM: (popping)
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’s the last you see.
+
+LIAM: There are more people down there. This is
+the x-factor we spoke about.
+
+MARISHA: How many?
+
+LIAM: I saw two down there, correct?
+
+ASHLY: Three, right?
+
+MATT: One in that chamber and then two in there.
+
+LIAM: Right, but I mean in that last room.
+
+MATT: In that last room it was two.
+
+LIAM: And I did not see Lazlo, so he could be
+upstairs.
+
+SAM: Lorenzo.
+
+LIAM: No, it’s Lazlo, I’m pretty sure.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: I didn’t see el boogie down there so he
+could be upstairs or downstairs, is what I’m saying.
+
+SAM: But then you saw some prisoners?
+
+ASHLY: Dwelma’s dead, we just beat the barbarian,
+Protto and Ruzza are down there, that means
+
+Lorenzo is upstairs, unless he’s–
+
+SAM: Or somewhere.
+
+LIAM: We do not know that. We know that there is
+one random shithead and two more beyond that, and
+
+I did not see Lorenzo or Lazlo or Larkin.
+
+ASHLY: Lorenzo.
+
+MARISHA: So he’s either still upstairs or deeper,
+further.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, he’s either behind us or down below.
+
+MARISHA: Or he’s not here at all and he’s at the
+bar that he likes to hang out at–
+
+SAM: The Trench.
+
+MARISHA: Called The Trench. Fuck you. So close, I
+was almost there.
+
+SUMALEE: What about prisoners?
+
+LIAM: Ja, there were some people in cages, but I
+did not get a good look at them through my
+
+spider’s eyes.
+
+SAM: We can’t close this door that Nila just
+exploded, but we can put up some sort of person to
+
+watch so some of us can go down there and snoop
+around and maybe kill that one guard that you spotted.
+
+LIAM: Here is what I think: We have a bit of a
+bottleneck here at this trapdoor. If they want to
+
+come up they have to deal with us, ja?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+LIAM: So if the majority of us wait at this trap
+door and I send my spider upstairs to see what’s
+
+going on, to see if our friend is up there, we can
+learn about upstairs, and if anyone pokes their
+
+head out of that door they’re going to lose it.
+
+ASHLY: That seems like a good plan to me.
+
+LIAM: Let’s keep figuring things out.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: All right. So are you sending Frumpkin
+upstairs?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Any ideas, Mr. Clay?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I mean, could just ask him to open
+the door. The ruckus has stopped and obviously,
+
+somebody won this fight.
+
+MARISHA: We have the trapdoor open though,
+right?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+SAM: But the gate down there?
+
+TALIESIN: I can do that if you like.
+
+MARISHA: How about, everyone get ready?
+
+LIAM: Close it quietly, and if anyone has a look
+around–
+
+TALIESIN: I can just go down and ask. I was going
+to mention, I do look like a guard right now.
+
+MARISHA: You do. So do I. We still look like
+guards.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m grabbing a little muck, putting it
+on my face, getting all– I could just go down if you like.
+
+MARISHA: Why don’t we bring this guard up here to
+us?
+
+LIAM: Wait, it’s true, you look like one of the
+guys upstairs, you could go down and tell them.
+
+But, well, you are putting a lot on the line for
+people you’ve just met tonight.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, it’s okay.
+
+LIAM: Yeah?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Why don’t we handle this guard first, and
+I go, here, lift up the gate. Lift up the trapdoor.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to go down.
+
+MARISHA: You’re going down?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: You don’t want to bring him up? Okay.
+
+MATT: So you go ahead and descend the stairs into
+this chamber.
+
+LIAM: Simultaneously, Caleb will slap his hand
+down on Keg’s shoulder and send Frumpkin on the
+
+ceiling or on the first floor, towards the
+stairwell at the front of the building.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to go down with Clay, but just
+at the stairs, since I also look like a guard.
+
+MATT: Okay. So you stay at the stairs there,
+Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Yep.
+
+MATT: All right. As you glance through, Clay, you
+can see the faint light in here, you can see the
+
+figure’s walking up to the cage, eyes still
+trained on the door.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just tapping on the doors. All
+clear. We got one, it’s Keg. We’ll handle it. I’m
+
+going to head back upstairs.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+MARISHA: Does he have advantage?
+
+MATT: No. It’s allowing him to do one–
+
+TALIESIN: That’s cocked.
+
+SAM: That was cocked.
+
+MATT: I saw it.
+
+TALIESIN: 18.
+
+MATT: 18?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to start heading back up.
+
+MATT: “All right, I’ll get back to work.”
+
+TALIESIN: We could use your help up here if you
+got a second.
+
+MATT: “I’m going to finish up.” As you turn around
+and begin to ascend the stairs, you begin to hear
+
+what sounds like a child beginning to scream.
+(screams)
+
+MARISHA: I tap on the bars with my staff, and I
+go: Wait man, Phil, there’s something wrong with
+
+Phil, I think he really needs our help. Fucking
+Phil, am I right?
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+LIAM: Roll fucking high, Marisha.
+
+MARISHA: I’m not gambling for torturing children.
+
+LIAM: Oh my god.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: 21!
+
+SAM: Fucking Phil.
+
+LIAM: Phil, am I right?
+
+MATT: He pulls back. You can see there’s a heated
+spike that’s orange at the tip that he pulls out
+
+of the cage. He goes (growling).
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to head upstairs.
+
+MARISHA: I hate it when Phil ruins torturing
+hour.
+
+MATT: He steps back towards the table at the back
+and sets it down there, where you can see there are
+
+other implements laid out. He comes back to the
+cage and goes, “I’ll be back later,” and comes to
+
+the door where you are.
+
+MARISHA: I step to the side, let him unlock the
+door.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m heading up.
+
+MATT: Opens the door.
+
+TALIESIN: As I head up through the trapdoor, I’m
+like, get ready everyone, just when he comes up,
+
+and just walking a little way past.
+
+MARISHA: I go: Just follow him.
+
+MATT: Steps up the stairs, makes it up through the
+hatch.
+
+SAM: Everybody–
+
+MARISHA: Go!
+
+MATT: Everybody, make an ambush round. He was not
+expecting that.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is not here; he is in the spider.
+
+MARISHA: First, you celebrate.
+
+MATT: Oh, shit. Is this on your Shillelagh? What
+are you doing with this?
+
+SUMALEE: Yeah!
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+ASHLY: 19.
+
+SAM: 15.
+
+LIAM: Spidering.
+
+TALIESIN: Never done this before. 17 plus
+something.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you all hit. What are you doing?
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I don’t think I hit.
+
+MATT: Nah.
+
+MARISHA: 12.
+
+MATT: All right, roll your d8.
+
+SUMALEE: d8 is–
+
+MATT: Eight-sided.
+
+SUMALEE: Six.
+
+MATT: That’s 12 plus four, 16 points of damage.
+Whack! Upside the head as he dizzies off from that
+
+point, immediately going into Keg. Roll damage on
+that one.
+
+ASHLY: Six.
+
+MATT: Six damage, and carved from the battle axe.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it just a straight 1d6 plus nothing?
+
+MATT: What are you using?
+
+TALIESIN: I was using the staff.
+
+MATT: It’s a 1d8.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, it’s 1d8.
+
+MATT: Yeah, because it’s a quarterstaff.
+
+TALIESIN: Eight.
+
+MATT: Plus your strength modifier?
+
+TALIESIN: Seven, because I have my strength
+modifier– no, eight, just because I have no
+
+strength modifier.
+
+MATT: Crack! And then–
+
+SAM: Is this a surprise?
+
+MATT: It’s a sneak attack, yeah.
+
+(gasping)
+
+SAM: Seven plus six, 13, plus– I’ve been adding
+wrong. 18.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’ll do it. He comes up and
+immediately– and falls to the ground, barely
+
+conscious, looking up, his face bloodied and the
+crossbow bolt jammed into his shoulder and past
+
+the rib and he’s having a hard time breathing.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, no. Just going to turn him into
+mulch. That’s okay.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: You watch as Clay, hushing as he just slowly
+pushes his face in with his fist repeatedly.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to drag him back. We got another
+suit, if anyone wants one.
+
+ASHLY: Well Nila, you can disguise yourself,
+right?
+
+NILA: Yes.
+
+ASHLY: We could have two guards.
+
+MATT: Caleb, what are you doing?
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin is still climbing towards the
+stairwell up and I am computing everything that
+
+our druid friend told me about the stairs to see
+if Big Man is asleep in his room.
+
+MATT: So you coast around here–
+
+SAM: All the maps!
+
+TALIESIN and LIAM: (singing) So many maps!
+
+MATT: Make your way through, down this hall, to
+the bedroom where you had seen was Lorenzo’s room,
+
+not present. Crawls over to the next bedroom, two
+beds. Not present.
+
+LIAM: I tell you what I’m going to do.
+
+MARISHA: This fucker’s not here.
+
+LIAM: I’m at the top of these stairs. Boy, it’s
+hard to say because the map is gone, but I think
+
+what I will do is I’ll drop out of Frumpkin for a
+moment and I have 30 feet of movement, so I will
+
+walk 25 feet towards those stairs.
+
+MATT: Toward the stairs where Frumpkin was?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, towards the second floor.
+
+MATT: All right. You’re at the base, essentially,
+or near the staircase that leads up and out to
+
+this space there.
+
+LIAM: Oh wow. If I’m able, I will stand on my own
+and go back into Frumpkin and wait because he is
+
+far ahead of me, Frumpkin, and my friends are
+mostly behind me, but I’m okay.
+
+MATT: All right. What’s everybody else doing?
+
+SAM: The gate’s open.
+
+SUMALEE: I want to go down.
+
+ASHLY: I feel like I want to stay with Caleb, in
+case.
+
+MATT: Okay, so Keg is staying up with Caleb.
+
+ASHLY: Is that cool with you, Caleb?
+
+SAM: I’ll go with you, Nila.
+
+LIAM: I can’t hear anything.
+
+MATT: Nila, you head down.
+
+ASHLY: Well, I’m going to stand behind you, in
+case.
+
+LIAM: Oh, that’s great.
+
+SUMALEE: Come join us.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll come down with you, that’s fine.
+
+LIAM: Do I feel you next to me?
+
+ASHLY: Yeah, maybe I’ll put my hand on you?
+
+LIAM: Do I? If I feel the dwarf next to me, I
+would use a free hand to jam some licorice back
+
+into my mouth and start chewing furiously,
+anxiously. I’m so scared of everything. And cast
+
+Haste again, into the dwarf.
+
+ASHLY: Tight.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you have one minute before that
+spell goes away.
+
+LIAM: One minute, ja. I know. You are again on
+methamphetamines.
+
+ASHLY: Perfect.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you enter this lower chamber, you
+come in with a fair light. You look over on the
+
+table and there are the implements there. You step
+out and there is a moment where you touch your
+
+foot to the ground, and something gives way. You
+see a cable that was run through the ground
+
+quickly whip up the air, and you glance up to see
+heavy netting that contains a bunch of broken
+
+brick and stone that falls down from the center of
+the chamber. I need both Nott and Nila to make
+
+dexterity saving throws, please.
+
+SAM: We’re not still under the influence of any
+sort of thing?
+
+MATT: It only lasts a– nice.
+
+SUMALEE: 21.
+
+SAM: 11.
+
+MATT: 11. That’s a failure on your point. That is
+eight points of bludgeoning damage to you, four
+
+points to you, as this pile of stone fills the
+corner. You guys manage to step off to the side
+
+and pull yourself out of the rubble, but you get
+the sense now that this room is definitely trapped
+
+and there is definitely an awareness within and
+deeper of your presence. Nila, as you recover from
+
+this, you glance up and see the cage in the corner
+that you had passed when you first entered and you
+
+see a hand hanging off one of the metal bars– a
+tiny, familiar hand: a bit of fur that covers
+
+and vanishing into the faint, grayish-blue tint of
+what is Asar’s hand.
+
+SUMALEE: I want to go to him, to touch him– but I
+want to make sure that there’s nothing that is
+
+going to trigger something else.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+SUMALEE: Oh! I’m so nervous! 19?
+
+MATT and MARISHA: That’s cocked.
+
+SUMALEE: (groans)
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, sorry. It was almost good.
+
+SUMALEE: Eight.
+
+MATT: Plus?
+
+SUMALEE: Plus my, which check?
+
+MATT: Investigation.
+
+SUMALEE: Nine– oh, no, minus one. Seven, shit.
+Should I use my luck point now?
+
+LIAM: No, your luck is dead.
+
+MATT: No, she didn’t use it last time, she saved
+it–
+
+LIAM: Oh, you saved it! (inhales)
+
+SUMALEE: I have to.
+
+MATT: All right, go for it.
+
+(groans)
+
+LIAM: Oh, no! It’s a one!
+
+SAM: Kid’s dead, let’s go home.
+
+MATT: Well, you still pick the one you want to, so
+you go with the previous one. You don’t have to pick
+
+the one. Pretty sure that’s how the luck feat
+works, right?
+
+LIAM: That’s right. Whatever one you want.
+
+MATT: From best you can tell, there is nothing; no
+contraption adhered to the cage. It’s just a cage.
+
+You come up close and look inside. You can see
+Kitor, your partner, is slumped in the back of the
+
+cage, unconscious. With what little bit of light is
+in here as you focus– you have darkvision, so you
+
+can see in his unconscious face he is still
+breathing, but there are wounds and scrapes. You
+
+look and see Asar, who is awake, who is currently
+holding a burn puncture right in his abdomen. He
+
+looks up to you, the sweat dripping down his face,
+and goes, “Mama? Mama!” and leans up to the cage
+
+and puts his hand over the outside of the bar and
+reaches out for you with the other hand and
+
+entwines his fingers. “Mama, you came.”
+
+SUMALEE: I’m here. Mama’s here. I want to heal
+them. Can I heal them?
+
+MATT: If you have a heal spell, yeah.
+
+SUMALEE: I have Healing Word.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: (quietly) I don’t like it.
+
+MATT: What’s your healing word to your son?
+
+SUMALEE: (quickly reading under breath)
+
+MATT: What’s the word you say that heals him?
+
+SUMALEE: Oh, what’s the word I say, I’m sorry.
+
+MATT: What phrase? It’s up to you.
+
+SUMALEE: Be well. Be well, my son.
+
+MATT: Roll a d4.
+
+MARISHA: That’s pretty good. It’s three.
+
+SUMALEE: Three? Did that count?
+
+MATT: Sure, I’ll let it. It’s all right.
+
+MARISHA: Plus your wisdom modifier.
+
+MATT: I think it’s a plus four? Yeah, okay.
+Looking really hurt from whatever injuries he’s
+
+sustained, you watch as the injuries slowly close
+up and he breathes a little heartier again and
+
+looks at you with a renewed smile, his hand still
+entwining your fingers, and says, “Mama, I want to
+
+“go home.”
+
+SUMALEE: I’ll bring you home. We’re going to get
+you out of here. I grab that cage and try to pull
+
+it apart as much as I can.
+
+SAM: Let me try to unlock it.
+
+(laughing)
+
+MATT: Well, make a strength check, just for the
+hell of it. Because life gets weird.
+
+MARISHA: While this is happening, can I come and
+watch this corridor?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I’m going to come in the corridor
+as well.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to suck up against this wall
+and look to make sure no one is coming around that
+
+hall while this is happening.
+
+TALIESIN: Since I still look like a soldier, I’m
+going to be willing to be a little visible on the corner.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, actually, we both look like
+soldiers. We block this corridor, looking like soldiers.
+
+MATT: Okay, you move into the corridor?
+
+MARISHA: Just backs to that corridor in this
+room.
+
+MATT: Like this?
+
+MARISHA: Yup, like we’re watching– guarding this
+room together.
+
+SUMALEE: Strength check, 19 plus two.
+
+SAM: Wow.
+
+MATT: You begin to (strains)– and you watch as
+Nila’s arms pop with the muscles filling with
+
+adrenaline and emotion as the metal bars bend ever
+so slightly. Just enough to maybe fit Asar
+
+through– not your mate. You pull them just enough
+and you reach through and he pulls his way, and
+
+you help him grab his shoulder, and slowly you
+pull your son free from the cage and into your arms.
+
+SUMALEE: (sobs) I hug him again. I want to go, I
+want to run. I don’t know what to do. I look
+
+inside and see if there’s any way that I can pull
+further to get Kitor out too.
+
+MATT: The bars have gone as far as they can go,
+and you continue to pull, the emotion in there.
+
+Your strength is waning from the physical exertion
+of getting even that bit of the metal open.
+
+SUMALEE: Can I heal him? I know he has powers to
+help himself out of here if I heal him.
+
+MATT: You can try, yeah.
+
+SAM: While she does that, I’ll try to jimmy the
+bent lock.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: Yeah, that’s a one.
+
+(laughing)
+
+MATT: Sam!
+
+MARISHA: You’re supposed to be good at this!
+
+MATT: Buddy…
+
+SAM: You ruined the fucking lock!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: You bent it!
+
+SUMALEE: You can’t blame the mother!
+
+MATT: Roll for Healing Word.
+
+TALIESIN: Just for my own giggles, I’m going to
+cast Detect Magic really quickly, because this
+
+place is giving me the creeps.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I have an auto-thing I can do
+apparently, which is nuts.
+
+MATT: I’m going to need a new iPad. This thing is
+crashing and falling apart the whole night. Great job.
+
+SAM: I’m going to look around for keys or
+something. Just around the room.
+
+MATT: All right. Make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: That’s a one.
+
+ASHLY: Oh my god. You need to use a new one.
+
+MARISHA: Did you just roll two ones in a row?
+
+MATT: Sam, we’re not making money for charity. You
+can slow your roll here, buddy.
+
+SAM: 826LA, guys!
+
+SUMALEE: Do I roll this for–?
+
+MATT: Yeah, to heal.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to cast Detect Magic as a
+racial trait, which apparently is a thing you can do.
+
+SAM: Wow.
+
+TALIESIN: Firbolgs are amazing.
+
+SAM: Any magic?
+
+MATT: In the immediate chamber?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Focusing on this, you don’t sense any
+immediate magical auras within the chamber.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. How about within 30 feet. Am
+I getting a ping?
+
+MATT: Nothing that you can see in the immediate
+area, no.
+
+SUMALEE: Five.
+
+MATT: You watch as Kitor (rouses). One eye is
+swollen shut, the other opens a bit, and you watch
+
+as the swelling slowly goes away from that eye.
+It’s still purple from the outside, but the
+
+swelling has diminished from the healing effect of
+your spell, and he looks up. “My mate.” He looks
+
+down at his hands and looks out and sees that
+Asar’s been freed, and he looks out at the strange
+
+crew– looks towards both of you and (gasps).
+
+SUMALEE: It’s okay, they’re safe. They came to
+help. Can you get out?
+
+MATT: “Help me.”
+
+SUMALEE: How? Tell me.
+
+MATT: He stands up in the cage; his hunched form
+is crammed in by this cage that was not designed
+
+for his firbolg body. Nevertheless, he reaches out
+and grabs the bars where you had started. “On
+
+"three: one, two, three– (strains).” He’s going to
+go ahead and make a strength check with advantage.
+
+That’s a natural 17… and a natural 19! I love it
+when it works for the narrative!
+
+(laughing)
+
+MATT: That puts it over 20. Both of you together
+(strains), and one of the bars comes off on one
+
+side. He gets in quickly and puts his shoulder in
+and pushes against the other, and that bends off
+
+to the side, leaving just enough room for him to
+push through. It takes a minute and you’re helping
+
+him and grabbing his elbow, and the two of your
+together– You feel something pop in his shoulder,
+
+but it’s just enough to get his body to wedge out
+of the space, and he comes back out of it and
+
+embraces you– the other arm limply hanging at one
+side, but he takes you in his hand. He looks down
+
+at his son and looks over at the rest of you,
+tired. Still, amongst the trauma he has suffered,
+
+there is a pride and a silent strength to him–
+very much similar to that you’ve seen in Nila. “I
+
+do not know by what grace you’ve come to us, but
+thank you.”
+
+MARISHA: Well, we relied on your mate here.
+Couldn’t have done it without her.
+
+SAM: Yeah, she’s quite impressive.
+
+MATT: “That she is,” and pets the back of your
+head.
+
+MARISHA: Now, if I was you, I’d run.
+
+SUMALEE: What about your friends?
+
+MARISHA: You have a child with you. You need to
+get him out of here. He’s suffered enough. We’ve
+
+got it from here.
+
+SUMALEE: Thank you.
+
+MARISHA: We wouldn’t have gotten this far without
+you.
+
+SUMALEE: Clay?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+SUMALEE: We’ll go back to your temple. Will you
+help these people– will you help these friends?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I like what’s happening here.
+Here, come on. Give me a hug.
+
+SUMALEE: Nila gives him a big hug.
+
+TALIESIN: Some tea for the road. I’ve got a bit of
+it left.
+
+(laughing)
+
+SAM: Is it already steeped, or is that just the–
+
+TALIESIN: No, it’s just loose leaf.
+
+SAM: Oh, okay.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s not a bag. It’s just loose leaf.
+
+MATT: Kitor picks up Asar and throws him over his
+shoulder, now standing in his full form, just
+
+below the ceiling of this chamber– taller, even,
+than Clay. “Thank you. Let’s go home.”
+
+TALIESIN: See you soon.
+
+MARISHA: We’ll see you later.
+
+SUMALEE: Oh, before I forget. Nila wears a
+necklace of six red feathers. Four of these
+
+feathers were people from my tribe who were taken:
+one for Kitor, one for Asar, one for Duma, and one
+
+for– oh, shoot. So emotional, but I know it–
+Duma and Masag. Masag was one of our strongest.
+
+They took him too, and Duma was the little one
+that Jumnda mentioned. One feather was for me, for
+
+leaving my tribe to find my family, and I took an
+extra one because I thought I would find friends
+
+who might help me. I will give it to you. I undo
+the feather, pull it off; it’s a perfectly intact
+
+red feather. I don’t know who will take it, but if
+you ever need our help, you can come to the
+
+temple. If, by chance, we’re not there– but only
+because one of us would go back to check on the
+
+others of our tribe– we’ll be in the Crispvale
+Thicket. Just go where the moss is the thickest,
+
+and I’ll be there. Thank you for everything. Thank
+you so much.
+
+MARISHA: We’ll find you again, Nila.
+
+SUMALEE: Thank you. Let’s go.
+
+MATT: “Good luck.”
+
+SAM: Bye.
+
+MATT: You watch as the three of them, given a
+second chance at life and freedom, step through
+
+the door where you entered and vanish up the
+stairs, the heavy footfalls dissipating as they
+
+grow further and further from you. The two of you,
+who have been focusing– that point, the Haste
+
+spell having coursed into your body– glance
+behind and see as the family steps through the
+
+kitchen door and exits. There’s only one path left
+to find the others that were taken. And that’s
+
+where we’ll leave tonight’s game.
+
+SAM: (groans)
+
+TALIESIN: This was the best.
+
+SUMALEE: Thank you guys so much!
+
+ASHLY: Sumalee!
+
+MARISHA: Sumalee!
+
+SUMALEE: You guys rock!
+
+MATT: Thank you for playing with us!
+
+SUMALEE: This was such an amazing experience.
+
+MARISHA: One red Nila feather.
+
+TALIESIN: (as “The Twelve Days of Christmas”) Five
+gold coins!
+
+LIAM: I have so much murder in my eye right now.
+
+TALIESIN: I love this color, by the way, that
+we’re getting right now. That’s lovely.
+
+MATT: It’s a fun one, yeah.
+
+ASHLY: That was beautiful.
+
+MARISHA: That was so amazing!
+
+SUMALEE: Thank you guys for having me!
+
+TALIESIN: You were so much fun!
+
+MATT: Thank you for coming. You were amazing.
+
+SUMALEE: Thank you guys. This has been
+mindblowingly fun. It’s so easy to get into with
+
+all of you guys being so– embodying your
+characters so well. It just is so easy.
+
+MATT: It’s the best game. It’s the best game!
+
+SUMALEE: I had so much fun. Oh my gosh.
+
+MARISHA: You were the softness that we needed–
+
+ASHLY: Desperately.
+
+MARISHA: –in our group. Desperately.
+
+LIAM: What do you mean?
+
+MATT: Everything fits so well into place.
+
+MARISHA: She was the Charmin bear, and we were
+like… rocks? I don’t know, that’s all I got.
+
+LIAM: Things are really bad in the Mighty Nein
+when Nott is the soft member of the group.
+
+MARISHA: That’s true!
+
+MATT: Yeah. Aw, man, we get to pick up this next
+phase at GenCon.
+
+SAM: We’re going to be doing this live next time?
+
+MATT: Apparently, yeah.
+
+SAM: Holy moley.
+
+MATT: This is where we got to. Oh man.
+
+TALIESIN: Exciting!
+
+MATT: Oh, boy, that’s going to be fun.
+
+LIAM: See player characters killed live in
+Indianapolis!
+
+TALIESIN: Are you not entertained?!
+
+SUMALEE: Seriously, thank you for introducing me
+to this game. I mean it.
+
+SAM: You were so great.
+
+SUMALEE: Now I understand why people that I know
+play this game–
+
+LIAM: Sumalee. Sam and I were talking about
+bullshit before the beginning of the game, and I
+
+forget the context but he was talking about you
+and I said, “No, she’s never played. She played
+
+"one practice game before this,” and Sam’s brain
+went (explosion).
+
+SAM: You were so great, so confident, so much
+great roleplaying. Amazing.
+
+SUMALEE: I learned from you guys. I learned by
+watching you! Yeah, I played one… what do you
+
+call it, a one-off? It was a three hour one-off.
+
+SAM: With Matt?
+
+SUMALEE: No, a dear, dear friend of mine, Tom
+Lommel, ran– he pulled in some friends so I would
+
+have some sense, because I didn’t want to– he was
+like, “Your first game is going to be on Critical
+
+"Role? You need to come over and we’ll play one
+practice round.”
+
+MATT: No, you’ve been so great, thank you for
+joining us, seriously. And for bringing a
+
+character that I think all of us are absolutely in
+love with.
+
+SUMALEE: And now there’s a firbolg! I feel like
+leaving–
+
+SAM: Passing the torch.
+
+MARISHA: Passing the torch!
+
+MATT: Well. On that note, let’s go ahead and close
+tonight’s game–
+
+SUMALEE: Oh, was all that– that was all
+recorded?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SUMALEE: Oh, we’re still on?
+
+MATT: Yeah! No, we’re still on.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SUMALEE: I thought we were done!
+
+MATT: No, we’re still going!
+
+SAM: We’re still on the TV.
+
+LIAM: No no no, we’re not. They cut the stream.
+Tell us about your politics.
+
+SUMALEE: I totally believed you. I was like “Oh,
+wait, are we?”
+
+MATT: Aw. Thank you so much for joining us; you’re
+amazing. I’ve been wanting to have you on for a
+
+while, so I’m glad we could make it work.
+
+SUMALEE: Thank you so much.
+
+MATT: A pleasure. We pick up this live at GenCon
+next Friday, at 6:00pm Pacific, 9:00pm Eastern.
+
+Super excited for that. Until then, guys, have a
+wonderful week, we love you, and is it Thursday–
+
+or Friday yet? Good night!
+
+[no audio]
+
+[music]
+