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50/50 (I'M WITH CANCER) Written by Will Reiser 7/2/08 FADE IN: OPENING TITLE SEQUENCE EXT. SAN DIEGO - DAY It's another picture perfect day in San Diego. The beaches, golf courses, and yacht clubs are packed with hundreds of rapturous citizens. EXT. BUS STOP - DAY A BUS pulls up and unloads it's passengers. We follow ADAM SCHWARTZ(25), a kind faced, mild mannered, pragmatist - who despite his youth has the cynicism of an old man. He steps off the bus, crosses the street and approaches MOUNT SINAI HOSPITAL. INT. MOUNT SINAI HOSPITAL - DAY Adam enters the Hospital. The mood is calm. All the chaos one would expect to find in a hospital of this size is tucked away behind the sterile and monochrome walls. Adam walks to the reception counter. The RECEPTIONIST is engrossed with the latest edition of US Weekly. She ignores Adam who just stands there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Adam gives out a small cough to grab her attention. The Receptionist keeps her eyes fixed on her magazine. RECEPTIONIST Can I help you? ADAM I have an appointment. RECEPTIONIST Name? ADAM Adam Schwartz. The Receptionist says nothing. Adam stands silent, not knowing what to do. He coughs again. Annoyed, the Receptionist looks up but says nothing. 2. ADAM (CONT'D) (CONFUSED) Um, am I supposed to go somewhere? With her eyes the Receptionist points to the waiting area. ADAM (CONT'D) Oh, should I go sit? The Receptionist rolls her eyes and returns to her magazine. Adam looks around the empty waiting room. He takes a seat and browses through a dozen outdated magazines: Highlights, Time, Life, Modern Maternity, etc. Only moments later, as though he hadn't just introduced himself, the Receptionist calls out: RECEPTIONIST Adam Schwartz. Adam looks around the waiting room. There's no one else there. Again the receptionist calls out again - RECEPTIONIST (CONT'D) Adam Schwartz. ADAM Yeah, that's me. RECEPTIONIST Follow me. The Receptionist leads Adam to a small changing room and hands him a hospital gown. RECEPTIONIST (CONT'D) Put this on. ADAM Do I need to take off all my clothes? The Receptionist stares blankly at Adam. ADAM (CONT'D) I'll figure it out. The Receptionist leaves. Adam awkwardly undresses and slips on the hospital gown. Unsure which end of the gown is the front, Adam adjusts the garment a few times until he decides he has it right. Adam pulls back the curtain of the changing room to find JOANNE, an overly cheery nurse. 3. NURSE JOANNE Hi Adam, my name is Joanne, so nice to meet you. Adam scratches his chest, the hospital gown is beginning to irritate his skin. ADAM You don't happen to have anything in a cotton blend? NURSE JOANNE (LAUGHS) Cotton. You're funny. Joanne hands Adam a giant specimen cup marked with a thick yellow line. NURSE JOANNE (CONT'D) Now I'm going to need you to fill this cup with urine. You think you can do that? ADAM You want me to fill this entire cup. JOANNE Yup. Adam looks down at the cup in total disbelief. ADAM It's gonna take me at least a week to fill this. Can I take it home? JOANNE (LAUGHS) Take it home. You're so funny. The CAMERA PANS to reveal a group of MEDICAL STUDENTS taking diligent notes in the background. WE PAN AGAIN this time to the next room: INT. HOSPITAL. BATHROOM Adam struggles to fill the cup. After a few beats, there's a knock on the door. JOANNE (O.S.) You okay in there Adam? 4. ADAM Just another minute. Adam looks down at the empty cup in frustration. The CAMERA PANS to the next room: INT. HOSPITAL. X-RAY ROOM Adam stands in front of an X-Ray machine. The APATHETIC TECHNICIAN has him stand in a dozen uncomfortable positions for long periods of time: sideways, one arm in the air, then the other arm, on one leg, then the other, one leg in the air, then the other, and so on. Again we see the group of Medical Students taking notes. The CAMERA PANS to the next room: INT. HOSPITAL. EXAMINING ROOM Joanne pulls out a giant needle. JOANNE Here comes the choo-choo! In the back we see the Med Students still taking notes. The CAMERA PANS to the next room: INT. HOSPITAL. MRI ROOM Adam is lying on the gurney of an MRI machine. He is slowly drawn into the enclosed body scanner. TECHNICIAN (AUTHORITATIVELY) Now make sure you lie completely still. Otherwise we'll have to do it all over again. Which we're not going to have to do, right? INT. HOSPITAL. MRI ROOM - LATER Adam lies perfectly still in the enclosed body scanner. ADAM Hello? Is anybody out there? There's no one there. He's been left unattended. The MRI Technician is watching the Laker game in the next room. 5. ADAM (CONT'D) I have to pee. The Med Students continue to take notes. END OPENING TITLE SEQUENCE EXT. SAN DIEGO - EVENING Through the window of the hospital the CAMERA PULLS OUT and PANS across the San Diego skyline. We watch as the Sun sets to night, then rises to morning... EXT. SAN DIEGO BEACH - MORNING SUPER: JUNE It's a gray morning as the thick spring fog slowly begins to lift. With no one in sight, the only sound that can be heard is that of the waves crashing onto the shoreline and then rolling back out to the Pacific Ocean. About a mile inland, we come upon: EXT. GRAND VIEW GATED COMMUNITY - DAY Rows of identical two and three bedroom town houses with lawns groomed to perfection fill the community. This is Southern California Suburbia. The sound of the waves crashing gets increasingly louder and louder as we PUSH IN ON: INT. ADAM'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS The interior of Adam's house is spotless. Pictures on the walls: Adam and his dad sailing. Adam and his parents at his Bar Mitzvah. Adam and his best friend, Seth, at High School Graduation. A University of Berkeley hat. A National Academic Achievement Award in the Sciences. Curled in a fetal position, Adam sleeps peacefully next to RACHEL (25), his loving girlfriend. Cute, charming, and artsy, Rachel is "Winnie Cooper" all grown up. The sound of the waves crashing stops abruptly. A loud obnoxious alarm clock goes off. Startled, Adam jumps up. Drenched in sweat, and completely disoriented, he looks around in confusion. 6. After a moment, Adam pulls an earplug out of each ear, and turns off the alarm. The sound of the crashing waves turns back on. Adam pushes a button on the alarm clock and the sound of the waves stops, but the loud obnoxious alarm returns. He pushes the clock again. The alarm turns off but now we hear the sound of crickets chirping. Again Adam pushes a button, this time we hear the sound of a loud thunder/rain storm, he pushes a button again, this time we hear the sound of loud clanging church bells. Rachel rolls over - RACHEL (asleep and incoherent) Make it stop. ADAM (WHISPERS) It won't turn off. Frustrated, Adam tries pushing all the buttons. This only makes it worse. We hear ALL of the previous sounds simultaneously sound off. Rachel rolls over and moans as she puts a pillow over her head. ADAM (CONT'D) (WHISPERS) Sorry. Adam reaches down and unplugs the alarm clock, bringing an end to the noise. He sits for a moment at the edge of the bed, collects himself. Adam looks down at Rachel and begins kissing her neck. RACHEL Mmmmm. Rachel gently strokes her fingers through Adam's hair. Something catches her attention - a single strand of hair. She holds it up. RACHEL (CONT'D) Oh my god. ADAM What? RACHEL I think you have a gray hair. ADAM Really? RACHEL I'm gonna pull it out. 7. ADAM No! Don't touch it. Adam jumps from bed. He rushes into the bathroom. Rachel rolls back to sleep. INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS Adam stands in front of the mirror and searches for the gray hair. Once he finds it, he holds it out for a closer look. It is in fact a gray hair. He smiles. INT. BATHROOM - MOMENTS LATER As Adam showers, he tries to squirt shampoo into his hand, but the bottle is empty. He looks over at Rachel's large assortment of shower products, finds one that smells pleasant, Fructis by L'Oreal, and squirts some into his hair. He then proceeds to lather his entire body in the product. INT. BEDROOM CLOSET - MOMENTS LATER Adam dresses in front of the bathroom mirror. His outfit is well put together, but not what you would expect of someone his age - more of a Mr. Rogers look. He pulls out a LINT BRUSH and meticulously combs his cardigan. EXT. ADAM'S HOUSE - LATER SETH (25), pulls up in front of Adam's house in his white Neon and HONKS the horn. On the bumper is a sticker: "Let's put the Christ back in Christmas." Overweight, well dressed, and wearing an air of confidence, Seth pulls out a massive joint, lights it and takes a hit. Just then Seth looks over at 3 YOUNG SCHOOL CHILDREN and their MOTHER waiting for the school bus. The mother's jaw is on the ground in shock. Seth hides the joint and smiles in embarrassment. SETH Hi kids. Beautiful day isn't it? The mother quickly moves her kids out of sight. Adam approaches Seth's car. He spots his neighbors ANDREW and MISSY DONNELLY (late 40's) getting into their car. They wave to Adam. 8. ANDREW Hey Adam. ADAM (SEEMS ANNOYED) Hey Andrew. ANDREW Sorry about the noise last night. Adam shrugs as if to say "what the fuck?" Andrew and Missy giggle as they get into their car. INT. SETH'S CAR - CONTINUOUS Adam gets into the car. SETH Yo. ADAM Yo. SETH ...What's that smell? (SNIFFS ADAM) Are you wearing perfume? ADAM No. SETH Well, you smell like the cast of Steel Magnolias. ADAM (SMELLS HIMSELF) I ran out of shampoo. I had to use Rachel's. SETH For a second there I thought maybe you'd fucked Olympia Dukakis. Adam tries to close his window. The child safety lock is on. ADAM Can you unlock my window? There's a lot of pollen in the air. Seth ignores Adam and turns up the music. 9. ADAM (CONT'D) (ANNOYED) Seriously, my allergies are flaring up. It feels like my nasal cavities are on fire. Adam begins to clear his throat, Seth turns the music even louder. SETH Sorry music's too loud, it's making it hard for me to hear your whining. INT. COFFEE SHOP - LATER We see the morning bustle as BUSINESS MEN and WOMEN stand in line waiting for their morning coffee. Adam and Seth stand at the end of that line watching the YOUNG COUPLE in front of them who can't keep their hands off of each other. SETH I don't get it, that guy is clearly a total douchebag...He's wearing Capris! ADAM Rachel and I used to be like that; like two wild animals in heat... (THINKS) I guess it is only natural though, as we get older, more mature, things begin to slow down. (BEAT) Sex every three weeks is normal? Right? SETH (IN SHOCK) You haven't had sex in three weeks? ADAM (SHRUGS) You think maybe she's mad cause I haven't asked her to move in? SETH What the fuck are you talking about? I don't think she's waiting for you to ask anything. You're using her shampoo. Next thing you'll be using her tampons. 10. Seth laughs at his own joke. SETH (CONT'D) But seriously, let me get this straight - she has her own place, yet she spends every night with you, in your bed, but she won't sleep with you? ADAM It's not that big a deal. SETH So when does it become a big deal? Five weeks? Six weeks? A year? My cut off...4 days. That's when I begin to worry. ADAM Do you realize how lucky I am to be with Rachel? SETH Look around, there are like a million Rachel's in this city alone...well, she's kind of hot, so maybe half a million. ADAM But they're not Rachel. I don't know how to explain it, but being with her just feels right. And I'm not going to overlook that just cause we're in a lull. SETH My parents are in a lull, which is what happens after 35 years of marriage. You've only been dating her four months. At our age sex is all we have. Every time she refuses to sleep with you a small piece of every man's soul dies. She's killing us Adam...You're a semi- smart, semi-successful, semi- average looking dude. Just based on that you could get with at least one third of the female population. Adam and Seth step up to the counter. They're greeted by the SUPER GAY BARISTA, who loves his job way too much. BARISTA Morning gentlemen. 11. SETH (TO BARISTA) Would you sleep with my friend. BARISTA Like, right now? SETH No just in general. BARISTA Yeah, I'd fuck him. The Barista yells to DEMETRI, the other Barista. BARISTA (CONT'D) Hey Demetri, (RE: ADAM) Fuckable? Demetri examines Adam. He's not impressed with what he sees. DEMETRI I'd let you blow me. SETH (TO ADAM) See this is what I'm saying. The Barista hands Seth and Adam two cups of coffee, they each leave a dollar. INT. SAN DIEGO MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY - LATER Adam and Seth enter the museum. They pass JENNY (30) at the information desk. SETH AND ADAM Good morning Jenny. Jenny ignores them. SETH (UNDER BREATH) I love you. PHIL (60), the museum's vivacious director approaches. PHIL Salutations gentlemen. Phil sniffs the air and looks at Adam. 12. PHIL (CONT'D) Are you wearing perfume? ADAM It's Rachel's shampoo. Phil goes in for a closer sniff. Then an even closer sniff. Adam looks uncomfortable. PHIL (DECLARATIVE) Fructis by L'oreal. (IMPRESSED) My wife uses that. (TO SETH) What are you wearing? Seth's eyes open wide as Phil goes in for a sniff. PHIL (CONT'D) What is that? SETH Ah, mothballs? Seth spots a GROUP OF SECOND GRADERS with their TEACHER assembled by the entrance. SETH (CONT'D) Looks like my group is here. Seth slaps on a button that reads "DOCENT" and rushes off to greet the students. SETH (CONT'D) See you guys later. Phil turns to Adam. PHIL How's the Origins exhibit coming along? ADAM We're almost done with Upper Paleolithic. PHIL I'm counting on you not to screw up. (looks into Adam's eyes) You're the only one I can trust. (BEAT) (MORE) 13. PHIL (CONT'D) The Board is talking about bringing in sponsors...We're a dying art Adam. Phil stares into Adam's eyes for what feels like an eternity. It's incredibly awkward. ADAM Phil? PHIL Yeah? ADAM I should probably get to work. PHIL That's probably a good idea. Phil looks at the clock - 10 a.m. PHIL (CONT'D) I think I'm gonna go to lunch. Phil wanders off. INT. MUSEUM. ORIGINS OF MAN EXHIBIT - LATER Adam and GREG (45), Adam's slightly moronic co-worker, place the finishing touches on the CRO MAGNON exhibit - it's an elaborate life sized diorama depicting the life of a family of four Cro Magnons. Outside their hut it's snowing, but inside there's a large fire and decorative horse drawings on the walls. The MAN instructs his SON to paint as the WOMAN teaches her DAUGHTER to sew. We see Greg positioning the fossil of a VELOCIRAPTOR next to the mother and daughter. The dinosaur looks poised to pounce. Adam notices. ADAM Greg. What are you doing? GREG It's a velociraptor. ADAM Where did it come from? GREG The dinosaur exhibit. (off Adam's look) Why can't we just say it was the first domesticated pet?...People love dinosaurs. 14. Adam cringes in frustration. ADAM Greg you can't just...that's a 75 million year old fossil...just please, put it away before someone sees it. Greg reluctantly goes to put the dinosaur away. He flaps the dinosaur's arm in the air - waving goodbye to Adam. Seth leads his tour of second graders. He speaks like a tour guide at Universal Studios. SETH Coming up here on our left is the "Origins of Man" exhibit on loan from the Smithsonian Institute. It won't be open to the public for a few more months, so you're one of the first groups to see it. (SPOTS ADAM) Adam! Adam looks up. He hates this part of his job. SETH (CONT'D) Everyone this is Adam, he's the curator of ancient civilizations here at the museum. Adam gives a reluctant wave. ADAM Hey kids. SETH (TO ADAM) Why don't you tell us what we're looking at. ADAM (BEGRUDGINGLY) This here is a family of homo sapiens who lived in Europe about 25,000 year's ago... In excitement, the kids move in for a closer look. Unaffected, the teacher stays back and files her nails. 15. ADAM (CONT'D) ...these Cro Magnon's as they're often called, are the closest in the evolutionary chain to modern day humans... KID 1 touches the Cro Magnon father. Still talking, Adam steps in and moves Kid 1's hand off. ADAM (CONT'D) ...What made Cro Magnon so advanced was their sense of community...they were the first to settle on a single plot of land, devote to one partner, raise a family, and take care of the sick. KID 1 (TO SETH) This is lame! I thought you said we were gonna see dinosaurs. GREG (TO ADAM) See, I told you. Damage control. Seth points to a life sized NEANDERTHAL MAN holding a spear. SETH (IN EXCITEMENT) Who wants to hear about the caveman? Seth picks up the spear and pretends to charge Adam. SETH (CONT'D) Caveman. RRRRRR! The kids cheer. Annoyed, Adam takes the spear out of Seth's hand. ADAM This is Homo Neanderthalensis - the Neanderthal Man. For over 150,000 years his ancestors dominated all of Europe. But then about 30,000 years ago, Neanderthals began to disappear, until one day, their entire civilization was gone. 16. GREG What happened? ADAM Greg you know what happened. GREG I do? SETH Come on! Tell us what happened to the caveman. ADAM Well no one knows for sure. But it's suspected that because Neanderthal was a nomadic huntsman, he roamed the land, only fending for himself - never learning to cohabitate with others. So as Cro Magnon families settled into Europe, they took over the land. One by one, Neanderthal was pushed out...and never seen, or heard from again. SETH (game show voice) That's quite a story. Thank you Adam. Seth and Adam look at the kids, they look bored. SETH (CONT'D) (Quietly to Adam) You really know how to win a crowd. ADAM (to the kids) But you never know, just cause they vanished doesn't mean they're gone. For all we know, there could be a Neanderthal walking among us right now. And by the looks of this guy HERE - (points at Neanderthal) I'd say he probably plays defense for the Raiders. Adam's joke gets a small laugh from the teacher, but zero response from the kids. KID 1 This sucks ass. 17. Adam and Seth look at each other in shock...Seth chimes in - SETH I see dinosaurs. Seth runs down the hall towards the dinosaur exhibit. The kids follow in excitement. The teacher barely bats an eye as she takes her time slowly trailing after the group. EXT. MOUNT SINAI HOSPITAL - LATER Adam enters the hospital... INT. HOSPITAL. EXAMINING ROOM - LATER Adam leafs through a pamphlet on Incontinence. The pedantic DR. ROSS enters and completely ignores Adam. Instead, he looks over Adam's chart, examines his MRI scans, and pulls out a DICTAPHONE - DR. ROSS (into the dictaphone) Patient has been complaining of excessive urination, back pain, and night sweats. Blood tests and urine analysis are normal. MRI indicates a massive intraduaral extradural MALIGNANT SCHWANNOMA neurofibrosarcomas extending into psoas muscle with nerve root compression syndrome and bone erosion. We see Adam's face gradually look more and more confused, he slowly begins to raise his arm as if to ask a question. DR. ROSS (CONT'D) Growth extends from the L2 to L5. Cytotoxic antibiotics are recommended. Dr. Ross turns to see Adam holding his arm in the air. DR. ROSS (CONT'D) Yes. Questions? ADAM (DUMBFOUNDED) I have no idea what you just said. Is there something wrong with me? 18. DR. ROSS (points to MRI) If you look here on your MRI, you see this cephalopod like object spreading down along your spinal column? Adam squints. It all looks the same. DR. ROSS (CONT'D) That is a massive schwannoma neurofibrosarcomas. ADAM I still have no idea what you're talking about. DR. ROSS It's a malignant tumor. ADAM What?!...A tumor? No. DR. ROSS I'm afraid so. ADAM How is that possible?...I don't smoke. I don't drink. I eat healthy...I even recycle. DR. ROSS Well Adam it's actually quite fascinating. Your cancer is the result of an incredibly rare gene mutation in chromosome 17p in the p53 Gene that causes the growth of malignant cells in tissue around the nerves. In your case it's grown along the nerves in your lower spine. Adam looks at himself in the mirror. ADAM (still in denial) But, look at me. I don't look sick. DR. ROSS Cancer often has no specific symptoms. People can go years with out knowing they're sick. We're lucky we caught it before it metastasizes. (MORE) 19. DR. ROSS (CONT'D) (BEAT) I'm going to put you on a 4 month regimen of chemotherapy. It's an aggressive dosage so you might want to think about taking some time off from work. This is real. Adam walks to the window and presses his face against the glass. He looks down at the city below. From 15 stories up, the people on the street look like miniature figurines. Adam turns back to Dr. Ross. ADAM Can't you just cut it out of me? DR. ROSS Yes, that is an option. But because the tumor has spread to a such significant size. Cutting it out now would be risky. ADAM Well what are my chances of beating this? Dr. Ross puts on his best act of reassurance. His words are seemingly genuine, his tone is anything but. DR. Ross Listen, you're in good hands. The best thing for you to do right now is to not worry...Let me do the worrying. Alright? Dr. Ross takes a long look at Adam's devastated face. DR. ROSS (CONT'D) Maybe you should talk to someone. Dr. Ross hands Adam a business card for the "Mount Sinai Psychology Group". DR. ROSS (CONT'D) We have a whole department of psychologists here in the hospital. They specialize in cases...in these...sort of matters. They'll be able to help you. Not knowing what else to say, Dr. Ross looks at his watch, looks back to Adam, and moves to the door. 20. DR. ROSS (CONT'D) Hang in there champ. INT. SAN DIEGO PUBLIC LIBRARY - EVENING CLOSE ON a computer screen: "Neurofibrosarcoma Schwannoma. Treatment Forms: Chemotherapy and Radiation offer negligible success rates. Surgical resection proven to be most effective. Risks of surgery: Amputation of limbs. Paralysis. Death. 2 Year survival rate: 50%. If tumor metastasizes systemically, 2 year survival rate: 0%." Adam sits staring at the screen. This is not good. The LIBRARIAN, a tall blond surfer type, taps Adam on the shoulder. LIBRARIAN Hey bro, time's up. Startled. Adam looks up at the librarian. ADAM Can I have just a few more minutes? LIBRARIAN Sorry bro. Twenty minute limit. (EMBARRASSED) Rules. The librarian motions to the LONG LINE of mostly HOMELESS CUSTOMERS waiting to use the computer. INT. BUS - EVENING Adam sits deep in thought. EXT. ADAM'S HOUSE - SAME TIME The bus stops. Adam gets off, walks to his house, and takes a deep breath... INT. ADAM'S HOUSE. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Adam enters the living room - it's empty. NPR News is on the radio. Fresh paint dries on a canvas resting on an easel. The sound of someone cooking comes from the kitchen. 21. RACHEL (O.S.) Adam? Is that you? Adam walks into the kitchen. Rachel is at the stove cooking in her underwear. Adam stands in the doorway watching her. God she looks sexy. Rachel turns - RACHEL (CONT'D) (in a Hungarian accent) Welcome home Mr. Adam. I made vegetarian goulash. Like a ballerina, Rachel crosses to Adam on her tip toes holding out a spoon of her goulash. She holds up the offering to Adam's mouth. He takes a small bite and smiles, trying to hide his internal distress. His sad eyes tell Rachel another story. RACHEL (CONT'D) (still using accent) What is wrong? ADAM Nothing. RACHEL (still using accent) Liar. This is not going to be easy. ADAM We need to talk. Rachel drops the accent. This seems serious. RACHEL Why? What's going on? ADAM I had a doctor's appointment today. RACHEL (WORRIED) What kind of doctor's appointment? Adam has no idea what to say. ADAM Have you ever seen the movie "Beaches"? RACHEL You mean with Bette Midler? 22. ADAM Yeah that one. RACHEL Not as good as "The Rose", but good. ADAM Remember the end of "Beaches"? RACHEL (CONFUSED) Yeah. Sad....What does that have to do with you? Adam just looks her in the eyes...Rachel gets it. RACHEL (CONT'D) Oh. Oh my god. In total shock, Rachel covers her mouth. RACHEL (CONT'D) What kind? ADAM I don't know. RACHEL You don't know? ADAM Well I do know, but I can't pronounce it. Neuroscharnoma or something. RACHEL Well how bad is it? ADAM It's not good. Rachel hugs Adam. Soaking in the comfort, Adam rests his head on her shoulder. She gently strokes his hair. Adam's hand slowly moves down Rachel's back. He starts kissing her neck. He knows it's wrong, but can't help it, the only thing running through his mind is sex. After a beat Rachel pulls away. RACHEL (begins to cry) You have cancer. 23. Heart racing, Rachel opens the top pantry. She reaches back as far as she can and pulls out a cookie jar. She sticks her hand in the jar and pulls out an old pack of American Spirits. Adam looks at Rachel disapprovingly. RACHEL (CONT'D) Not now. ADAM I just think it's an interesting time to take up smoking again. RACHEL Adam I'm 24 years old! (CATCHES HERSELF) You're 25. Rachel puts one of the cigarettes to her mouth, lights it on the stove and takes a drag. RACHEL (CONT'D) What are we going to do? I don't know what to do. Rachel begins compulsively pulling drags from the cigarette. Adam takes the cigarette out of her hand. He goes to put it out, but takes a drag instead. He then hugs Rachel with one hand and opens the window with the other; he proceeds to discreetly fan out the cigarette smoke. ADAM Sshhhh. Everything's going to be alright Yammy. I'm going to start chemo in a few days. (POSITIVE) We're going to get through this. They embrace in total silence...A beat. And then Adam groans with the realization - ADAM (CONT'D) Ugh...and my parents are coming over for dinner. RACHEL Do they know? Adam is clearly not in the mood to see his parents. ADAM No. 24. PRE LAP: The sound of a doorbell... SMASH CUT: INT. FOYER - ADAM'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER Rachel and Adam stand in front of the door. ADAM 3...2...1... Rachel opens the door. ADAM (CONT'D) (BIG SMILE) Hey. Adam's mother, EDITH SCHWARTZ (55) enters. Edith is a short, portly woman with thick glasses and a bright red sweatshirt bearing a cross-stitched cat on it. If the borough of Queens and the city of Milwaukee had a child, it would be Edith. EDITH (EXCITED) There they are! Edith gives Rachel a big hug, and grabs for her left hand. EDITH (CONT'D) I can't wait to hear the big news. ADAM Where's dad? ART SCHWARTZ(58) enters the house carrying a CAT. Due to a stroke 10 years prior, he carries a limp and is a little out of it. ART I found your cat playing in the neighbors yard. ADAM Dad, I don't have a cat. Art drops the cat and it bolts out the door. EDITH So what's for dinner? 25. INT. ADAM'S DINING ROOM - LATER Everyone sits around the table. Edith pokes at her plate of vegetarian goulash, confused as to what she's looking at. RACHEL If I had known you were coming I would have made something else. EDITH I'm just glad to finally be sharing a shabbat dinner with my son... (looks at her plate) So this isn't meat? RACHEL No it's called sei-tan. ADAM It's made of wheat gluten. Edith looks more confused. EDITH But it's not meat. RACHEL No, but it has a texture just like meat. Edith reluctantly takes a small bite of the goulash. EDITH (INSINCERE) Mmmmm. It's Good. Edith puts her spoon down. She pulls a handful of pills out her fanny-pack and puts them in front of Art. EDITH (CONT'D) Art, take your pills. Art picks up the pills and puts them in his mouth, but doesn't swallow. EDITH (CONT'D) Swallow. As Art swallows, Edith eagerly turns her attention to Rachel. EDITH (CONT'D) So? Did you set a date? 26. RACHEL (CONFUSED) A date? EDITH (TO ADAM) Do not do summer like your cousin, remember how awful that was? Schlepping around in the heat like that. Plus the bugs and the gnats. ADAM (whispers to Rachel) What is she talking about? EDITH And now Rachel. I know we haven't discussed this, but are you going to convert? RACHEL (whispers to Adam) She thinks we're getting married. ADAM Mom. We're not getting married. EDITH Oh thank god. (TO RACHEL) No offense. (TO ADAM) So then what's the big news that you made us rush all the way over here. Not knowing how to tell his mother the upsetting news... ADAM Have you ever seen "Terms of Endearment"? RACHEL Oh jesus Adam, just tell her. EDITH Tell me what? ADAM Alright fine. But, before I tell you, you have to promise me you're going to stay calm. 27. EDITH Oh Adam, don't be so overdramatic. ADAM Mom, just promise me. Okay? EDITH I promise...You make me out to be some kind of irrational loon. Here goes nothing. ADAM (MUMBLES) I have cancer. EDITH What? ADAM (MUMBLES) I have cancer. EDITH (TO RACHEL) What is he saying? ADAM (takes a deep breath) I have cancer. EDITH Cancer? What do you mean you have cancer? ADAM I - HAVE - CANCER. EDITH I don't understand. ADAM Mom, I have a giant tumor in my spine. Edith sits motionless for what seems an eternity. The only indication that she's not dead is the movement of her index finger, which twitches uncontrollably. Adam sits uneasy, tying to anticipate his mother's next move. ADAM (CONT'D) Mom? 28. Edith calmly rises from of her seat and heads to the kitchen. Adam follows after her. ADAM (CONT'D) Mom, what are you doing? Edith lights the stove, and puts up a kettle of Tea. EDITH I'm making you green tea. ADAM Please, will you come sit down. Edith holds up the package of Green Tea. EDITH I saw on the Today Show that it reduces your risk of getting cancer by fifteen percent. ADAM Mom, I already have cancer. Refusing to look at her son, Edith frantically rifles through her fanny pack. EDITH Here take these. Her hands now shaking uncontrollably, Edith hands Adam a large number of prescription pills. EDITH (CONT'D) Aspirin, Zoloft, Lexapro, Lipitor, Flagel, Ditropan, Alka Seltzer. ADAM Mom, please, stop. I don't need these. EDITH (YELLS) Just take the god-damn pills. Adam take Edith's hand. ADAM Mom. Edith's a nervous wreck, frantic and hysterical. EDITH How could this happen? 29. ADAM It's genetic. EDITH Genetic? It must be from your father's side of the family, they're always getting sick. Your uncle Bobby just got Crohns. Adam's father looks up from his plate of goulash... ART That's a disorder of the bowels, son. How are your bowels? ADAM The problem is not with my bowels. ART You're a lucky man. ADAM Thanks dad. EDITH I'm moving in. ADAM What? No. Absolutely not. EDITH Adam, I'm your mother, and I need to be close to you in your time of need. ADAM That's a terrible idea. EDITH Well who's going to take care of you? ADAM Mom, I'm fine. EDITH I think I have a right to take care of my son with cancer. ADAM It's nothing. Really. 30. EDITH Nothing! You tell me you have cancer of the spine and now you tell me it's nothing. Adam looks to Rachel for support. RACHEL Edith, I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you. But I promise, there's nothing for you to worry about. I'm going to be here every step of the way, to help take good care of your son. EDITH (TO ADAM) You're a very lucky boy to be with such a good girl. You know that? You don't deserve her. Adam looks at Rachel and smiles. ADAM I know. INT. COFFEE SHOP - MORNING Adam and Seth stand on an endless line of BUSINESS MEN and WOMEN waiting for their morning coffee. Greg is at the front of that line - he's taking forever to decide what he wants. Adam impatiently looks at his watch. ADAM What's taking him so long? How hard is it to buy a cup of coffee? Seth ignores Adam as he stares at the cleavage on the WOMAN behind him. SETH (quietly to Adam) Look at how tight that shirt is. She's totally aware of how large her breasts look too. This morning when she got dressed, she said to herself - "I have these things and I want the world to see them." Greg looks up at the menu of endless options. 31. GREG What about that frozen drink, what's that like? BARISTA (ENTHUSIASTIC) The Bavarian Blender. It's absolute heaven. GREG I don't know. Does it have a lot of sugar? ADAM We've been here 20 minutes. What's he shopping for a car? Seth's eyes are still fixed on the woman's breasts. SETH Why are you in such a rush? Adam looks around at all the stodgy business men all having menial conversations. ADAM Is this really how you want to spend the rest of your life? Wasting away in this place? Greg still hasn't made up his mind. Adam snaps. ADAM (CONT'D) I don't believe it. Why can't he just get a latte like he does every morning. SETH Relax. We have plenty of time. ADAM No we don't have plenty of time! Life is finite. SETH What the fuck is wrong with you? ADAM (QUIETLY) I have cancer. SETH (LAUGHS) Yeah right. 32. ADAM I'm serious. SETH Get the fuck out of here. You have cancer? People in line look at Seth. ADAM Maybe a little louder, you can make a special announcement. SETH (QUIETLY) When did this happen? ADAM Yesterday. They found a tumor in my spine. SETH Who? ADAM What do you mean who? SETH Who found the tumor? ADAM Lewis and Clark...The doctors found it. SETH When were you going to tell me? ADAM I'm telling you now. SETH If I had cancer I'd tell you right away. ADAM What do you want the Better Friend award? It's not an easy topic to bring up. SETH Holy shit! Seth takes a deep breath. A look of panic sweeps across his face...he quickly shakes it off. 33. SETH (CONT'D) Okay, let's relax here. (BEAT) I think the best thing to do is to look on the bright side. ADAM The bright side of what? SETH (EMPHATICALLY) This is your chance to do all the things you've always wanted. This is it. This is your time to live it up. (A BEAT) Plus, do you know how much pussy we're going to get? EXT. HOSPITAL - DAY Rachel pulls her car up to the front of the hospital. Adam kisses her goodbye and gets out of the car. He takes a few steps and then turns back. He gives her a nervous smile and then continues into the hospital. INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - MOMENTS LATER Adam walks down the hospital corridor passing dozens of patients, none of whom are under the age of 40. In Adam's hand is the business card with "Mount Sinai Psychology Group" written on it. He finds the office and knocks on the half opened door. The office is small, cold and emotionless - with stacks of psychology books and files strewn about. An attractive young woman, KATIE (26), sits behind a desk reading a file while she eats a rather messy sandwich. Katie takes her job very seriously, but has not quite mastered the art of speaking without sounding like a rigid grad student. Kate looks up as she takes a bite of her sandwich. KATIE (mouth full of food) Can I help you? ADAM I have an appointment with Dr. McRae. 34. Katie puts down the sandwich, rises from her seat and puts her hand out to shake Adam's. KATIE Please call me Katie. ADAM (CONFUSED) You're Dr. McRae? KATIE You were expecting someone else? Katie wraps up her sandwich and puts the rest away. ADAM Aren't you supposed to be like sixty-five and wear earth toned sweaters? KATIE (SLIGHTLY DEFENSIVE) Why? Did someone say that's what I look like? ADAM No, no, no. I was just expecting someone older. KATIE Sorry to disappoint you. ADAM No believe me, you're fine. Better than fine, you're Dr. McRae...you're a doctor? How old are you? KATIE Twenty-six. ADAM Twenty-six? What are you like Doogie Howser? KATIE Who? ADAM Doogie Howser... Off Katie's blank look. 35. ADAM (CONT'D) ...The teenage doctor. KATIE Does he work here? ADAM No. Nevermind...but aren't you young to be a doctor? KATIE I'm actually in my final semester of medical school. (off Adam's look) This is a training hospital. ADAM So have you had many patients? KATIE You're actually my first. That did not help to ease Adam's anxiety. ADAM Oh. KATIE Please sit. Adam notices a dark stain on the couch. He sits as far from it as possible. Katie pulls out Adam's file and sits in a chair across from him. Adam looks anxious, this is his first time in therapy. KATIE (CONT'D) Dr. Ross filled me in on your situation. Tell me, how have you been feeling? ADAM Honestly. I feel fine. KATIE I think that's great considering what you're going through. ADAM Yeah, but I tend to internalize everything so, who knows. 36. KATIE You mean you repress as a coping mechanism. ADAM Is that what I do? KATIE That's what you just said. ADAM The way I say it sounds cute in a neurotic way. When you say it, it's like an indictment. The word "repress" - sounds so harsh. KATIE It's actually quite common. ADAM Oh good, I'd hate to think I'm anything but an emotional sheep. KATIE Don't think of it in those terms. It's not like it's been a conscious decision on your part. What's important now is for you to be aware of the way you treat your emotions and for me to help you make adjustments. ADAM So how do we do that? KATIE The first thing I want you to do is to stop looking at cancer as a burden. Cancer has come into your life to show you that your emotional and physical bodies are out of balance. This is your chance to correct that. ADAM You're not in a cult are you? KATIE Now, why do you say that? ADAM I don't know, it was a bad joke. 37. KATIE But there's a reason. You chose to use humor rather than express how you really feel. Katie is losing Adam. KATIE (CONT'D) In order to heal the body, you must heal the mind. It's imperative that you free yourself from stress and anger. Get rid of all those negative emotions stored deep inside. Adam's mind drifts away from Katie. He focuses on all the clutter. The slanted clock. The wilting plant. The crumbled paper on the floor. The mess is driving him crazy. KATIE (CONT'D) So today what I want to do is start you on some very simple relaxation therapy. Katie presses play on her iPod. We hear the soothing sounds of new agey flute music. Adam looks up in confusion. ADAM Huh? KATIE I want you to lay back and close your eyes. Adam looks down at the coffee stained couch. ADAM Lay here? KATIE Yes, I want you to just lay back, and let go. ADAM Shouldn't we be analyzing my childhood? Or my days as a call girl? KATIE Another joke? 38. ADAM (SHRUGS) Oh come on. Nothing? That was funny. KATIE Ssshhhhh... Katie stands behind Adam and places her hands on his shoulders. Despite the fact that this is all too strange, he doesn't mind, in a weird way, Adam is enjoying the attention. He finally lies down, contorting his body so as to avoid the stain. KATIE (CONT'D) Close your eyes and relax. Find a place inside yourself where you can escape the cancer. Adam closes his eyes. FADE TO BLACK: RACHEL (O.S.) Keep your eyes closed. No peeking. INT. ADAM'S HOUSE - NIGHT Adam is seated at the dining table with his eyes closed. ADAM I can't believe you got me a present. (BEAT) Is it that Prada handbag I've been eyeing? RACHEL (O.S.) Even better. ADAM What is it? RACHEL (O.S.) Keep your eyes closed. ADAM You know how I feel about surprises. Last surprise I got my parents told me I was adopted. 39. RACHEL (O.S.) You're not adopted. ADAM Yeah, but sometimes I wish I was. Rachel crosses into the room and stands over Adam. RACHEL Okay. Open your eyes. Adam opens his eyes to see Rachel holding a tiny SHIH-TZU wearing a pink ribbon in it's hair. RACHEL (CONT'D) Surprise! Adam stares in confusion. ADAM (DISAPPOINTED) What is it? RACHEL It's Noodle. ADAM It's so small. What do you do with it? RACHEL (ANNOYED) Adam, IT's a he, and HE's adorable...Having a dog is supposed to help with the healing process. ADAM Why, did it go to medical school? RACHEL (PISSED) I thought you'd be happy... ADAM It looks like a gremlin. What happens if you get it wet after midnight? Rachel looks furious. Adam backtracks. ADAM (CONT'D) (REASONING) They're a lot of work. (MORE) 40. ADAM (CONT'D) I can barely take care of myself, I don't think I can handle another living, breathing, needy, thing in my life. RACHEL I didn't realize it would be such a big deal. (PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE) I can bring him back to the shelter in the morning. ADAM I know what you're doing. RACHEL No, you're right, it's not a good idea. Tomorrow I'll take him back where he'll be kept in a tiny cage with 10 other dogs who will bully him, and rape him, and then he'll eventually be euthanized. The dog looks at Adam. It's hopeless, there's no way Adam's going to win this one. ADAM Alright. Fine, we can keep the dog. RACHEL Really? ADAM Really. Rachel's face lights up. She hugs Adam. RACHEL This is going to be so good for you. Adam turns to see the dog shitting on the carpet. EXT. SAN DIEGO - EVENING The sun sets over the San Diego skyline. INT. SAN DIEGO MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY - NIGHT It's Adam's going away party. Draped across the entrance is a "Bon Voyage" banner with an image of a Cruise Ship. 41. Adam, Rachel and Seth enter to find a crowd of mostly unfamiliar faces. Phil, who has had one too many vodka tonics, approaches Adam - drink in hand. PHIL (ANNOUNCES) There he is, the man of the hour. ADAM Here I am. Phil takes a sip from his glass, and then offers it to Adam. PHIL Martini? ADAM No thanks. Phil puts his arm around Adam and gestures wildly - causing his drink to splash on Adam. PHIL So cancer? ADAM Yup. The Big C. PHIL Man! Phil tugs on Adam's hair. PHIL (CONT'D) (WHISPERS) Are you wearing a wig? ADAM Nope, this is my real hair. PHIL (SENTIMENTAL) I'm gonna miss you so much buddy. ADAM (UNCOMFORTABLE) I'm going to miss you too. Phil puts his head on Adam's shoulder. 42. ADAM (CONT'D) Excuse me for a moment, I think I see someone over there from a previous life. CUT TO: Adam is talking with his co-worker JOE. JOE Have you started chemo yet? ADAM No, not yet. JOE Don't do it man. It'll fuck you up. That's like some Nagasaki shit. CUT TO: Adam stands with SUSAN. SUSAN You want to know the secret? ADAM Ah, okay. SUSAN Eat nothing but green foods. ADAM Like a specific kind of green food? SUSAN No, any green food. It works, my sister's friend survived lung cancer. CUT TO: Adam stands with TED. TED (SUSPICIOUS) So what kind of cancer do you have? ADAM Schwannoma Neurofibrosarcomas. TED Never heard of it. 43. ADAM It's pretty rare. TED Yeah well, you don't look sick. ADAM Cancer often has no specific symptoms. People can go years with out knowing they're sick. TED (SUSPICIOUS) Huh. CUT BACK TO: Adam with Susan again... SUSAN There's spinach, zucchini, broccoli, kale, cucumbers, green beans, snow peas, seaweed, kiwi, Zucchini, ADAM I think you already said zucchini. SUSAN (ANNOYED) Zucchini... From across the room, Adam and Rachel lock eyes. He gives her a defeated look, as if to say "help me." Rachel gives a sympathetic smile. SUSAN (CONT'D) Are you paying attention? ADAM (caught off guard) Uh huh. SUSAN Cause I'm only trying to help save your life. From across the room, Rachel laughs at the entire episode, Adam sparks a smile. CUT TO: Adam is talking with EDDIE. 44. EDDIE (SECRETLY) There's this guy on the beach who injects oxygen into your blood. ADAM Is that legal? EDDIE No, but it's totally safe. CUT BACK TO: Adam with Susan... SUSAN ...Brussel Sprouts, Turnip greens, Asparagus, Celery, Cabbage, Okra, Honeydew Melon, Limes, Green bell peppers, green chiles... CUT TO: Jenny cries hysterically as Seth consoles her. JENNY (CRYING) I can't believe that he has cancer. SETH I know, it's crazy. JENNY I've seen him every day for the past two years and I've never once made an effort to talk to him. SETH Well I'm his best friend, so talking to me in a way is kind of like talking to him. JENNY Oh what does it matter? It's too late. Jenny walks away crying. Seth follows after her. SETH Wait. It's not too late. CUT TO: Adam makes himself a drink at the bar. Greg approaches. 45. GREG Hey Adam. ADAM (less than excited) Hey Greg. GREG My uncle had what you have. ADAM Really? GREG Man that was the worst. ADAM Your uncle had Schwannoma Neurofibrosarcomas. GREG Yeah, I think so. It's the thing with the toe and the screaming, and everything tastes like olives? Right? Adam looks perplexed. INT. RACHEL'S CAR - LATER THE SAME NIGHT Rachel and Adam drive home from the party. They're in completely different moods. ADAM Well that was a nightmare. RACHEL Adam, those people just threw you a party...They love you. ADAM Half those people don't even know me. The car stops at a red light. Rachel looks at Adam. She finds his pouting adorable. He sees her staring, ADAM (CONT'D) What? RACHEL Nothing. 46. ADAM (SMILES) What? RACHEL I love you. ADAM I love you. Rachel takes Adam's hand. RACHEL Everything's going to be okay. They look intensely into each others eyes and then kiss. CUT TO: INT. ADAM'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER Adam and Rachel make-out as they enter the house. INT. ADAM'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS They make their way into the bedroom and clumsily undress one another. Adam looks at Rachel's naked body. ADAM You are so unbelievably sexy. RACHEL I'm totally yours, Suddenly there's a loud scratching at the bedroom door, followed by a loud whimpering. Rachel stops. RACHEL (CONT'D) Noodle. ADAM What? RACHEL The dog. Adam continues to kiss Rachel. ADAM Ignore him. 47. RACHEL I think he needs to go out. ADAM I'll do it after. The two continue making out. The dog starts to bark. RACHEL I can't do this with him barking. EXT. ADAM'S HOUSE - NIGHT Adam stands on the sidewalk impatiently waiting for the dog to do his business. ADAM (to the dog) Come on. Today...If I don't get laid tonight because of you, I'm going to take your little bow and make a noose... The dog sniffs around, trying to find the perfect spot. ADAM (CONT'D) (PLEADING) Please! I need this. ADAM'S NEIGHBOR walks by with A GIANT MASTIFF. He sees Adam yelling at the little Shi Tzu in ribbons. Adam looks up... ADAM (CONT'D) (EMBARRASSED) Evening. NEIGHBOR Nice dog. Once the neighbor is out of sight- ADAM Will you please just finish. The dog finally finishes. Adam runs back into the house. After a minute, he realizes he left the dog in the street. He runs back after the dog, scoops him up and then runs back inside. 48. INT. ADAM'S HOUSE. BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS Adam fumbles around in the dark as he tears off his clothes. He then climbs back into bed, spoons Rachel, and begins seductively kissing her neck. He slowly moves his hand downwards. Rachel takes Adam's hand, pulls it up, and clasps it tight against her chest. RACHEL Hold me. ADAM (UNDER BREATH) Mother fucker. The two lay silently with Adam's arms wrapped around Rachel's body. A beat. ADAM (CONT'D) Do you...want to move in? RACHEL Do you want me to? ADAM I was thinking it might be nice, now that I'm not going to work anymore. And with my chemo starting... Rachel turns to Adam. ADAM (CONT'D) You're here all the time anyway. RACHEL (SMILES) Okay. Rachel kisses Adam and lays her head on his chest. ADAM (WHISPERS) You wanna have sex? RACHEL (ASLEEP) In the morning. 49. EXT. BETH ISRAEL SYNAGOGUE - MORNING Edith's car whizzes down the street and peels into the Beth Israel Synagogue parking lot. The car comes to an abrupt stop as it parks in the last empty space. Edith and Adam step out of the car and walk 20 feet before they realize Art is still in the car. EDITH Art come on. ART I'm coming. Art, still in the car, doesn't move. Edith looks at her watch and walks back to the car. EDITH We're late. Edith grabs Art's hand. He slowly gets out of the car. INT. BETH ISRAEL SYNAGOGUE - MOMENTS LATER Edith, Art and Adam enter into the 600 seat synagogue. The service led by RABBI JACOBS (75) has already begun. Edith spots three empty seats all the way in the left corner of the first row. Prime seats, but a bitch to get to since the service has begun - getting there would mean wading through a row of two dozen people. The USHER approaches. USHER Please take your seats. The Usher motions for Edith and company to sit in the back. EDITH What about those seats up there in the front? USHER The service has begun. EDITH Please. My son has cancer. Adam's jaw tightens, he can't believe his mother just did that. The Usher looks at Adam, sizing up the situation. Adam couldn't be more uncomfortable. 50. USHER Please, follow me. The usher leads the group to the front and directs the people in the front row to let them pass through. Edith apologizes as each person they pass has to stand to let them by. EDITH (QUIETLY) Sorry, my son has cancer. Adam smiles in embarrassment as he steps past. ADAM (QUIETLY) Hi. Nice to see you. INT. BETH ISRAEL SYNAGOGUE. ATRIUM - LATER Edith and Art stand in a crowd of 600 congregants socializing and conversing after the service. ROSE (60) approaches. ROSE (CONCERNED) Edith. How are you? EDITH (OVERDRAMATIC) Oh Rose. Things are not well. ROSE I heard about the (WHISPERS) cancer. EDITH I can't tell you how hard it's been on me. My only child. God only knows what terrible thing I did to deserve this. I've got a catatonic husband and a son with cancer. Not to mention my arthritis. I don't know how I'll ever get through it. As Adam walks through the atrium, he notices everyone whispering and pointing at him. Rabbi Jacobs (75) exits the bathroom, pulls up his fly and spots Adam. Jacobs has the face of a leather couch from all the tanning and face lifts. He spots Adam. 51. RABBI Ladies and gentleman, Adam Schwartz! ADAM Rabbi Jacobs. RABBI How are you son? ADAM Oh you know, just trying to live by the Covenant. RABBI Don't bullshit me. You were the worst student I ever had. I bet you haven't even spoken a word of Hebrew since your Bar Mitzvah. ADAM I don't like to brag, but I couldn't speak it then. RABBI Your mother told me about your situation. Adam looks over to see his mother surrounded by a dozen sympathetic listeners as she tells them her horror story of having a son with cancer. ADAM I'm sure she did. RABBI It's not easy for a mother to see her son go through something like this, ADAM Nothing is easy for my mother. RABBI Have you thought about trying to reconnect with the Torah? ADAM Honestly, I'm just here to make my mother happy. It was either this or I had to go see my cousin perform in his high school theatre's adaptation of "You've Got Mail". 52. RABBI Well think about it. I'm always here. INT. HOSPITAL - DAY ALAN ALDA looks directly into the camera. The year is 1970. ALAN ALDA Hi there, I'm Alan Alda... Alan Alda walks down the hospital corridor. ALAN ALDA (CONT'D) So you've been told you have cancer. Well, you're not alone. 1 in every 3 people living today will experience some form of the disease... A shot of people walking in Times Square, arrows slowly pop up over the heads of every third person. ALAN ALDA (CONT'D) You may be wondering what is cancer? Well, cancer is a group of more than 100 different diseases characterized by the abnormal growth of cells. These cells form a lump or mass called a "tumor". A reddish freckle dissolves into massive tumor. ALAN ALDA (V.O.) (CONT'D) Cancer is treated through the use of a revolutionizing medicine called Che-mo-therapy. Shot of a very PRETTY WOMAN being administered a small pill by a Nurse. The woman smiles politely to the Nurse. ALAN ALDA (CONT'D) Chemotherapy is a very serious treatment. Shot of a Doctor speaking intently to the Pretty Woman who listens closely. ALAN ALDA (CONT'D) It works by destroying cancer cells; unfortunately, it cannot tell the difference between cancer cells and healthy cells. 53. Shot of a poorly designed diagram of the human body. A milky substance runs through the body destroying all the various cells in it's path. ALAN ALDA (V.O.) (CONT'D) As a result, it's going to make you feel tired... Image of yawning kitten. ALAN ALDA (V.O.) (CONT'D) And sick. Shot of a School Nurse checking a child's temperature. The music begins to ramp. ALAN ALDA (V.O.) (CONT'D) ...You are about to embark on the journey of a lifetime. So aim high... Shot of APOLLO 11 lifting off. ALAN ALDA (CONT'D) ...and always remember, the road to recovery is a team effort... A shot of a girls volleyball team. One of the players serves up a pass and another spikes it down. All the girls high- five. ALAN ALDA (V.O.) (CONT'D) It's important that you talk openly with your health care providers. Ask questions so you can know all the facts. Being prepared is half the battle... Back on Alan Alda. ALAN ALDA (CONT'D) Toward helping yourself begin to feel in control again...On behalf of all the great folks at Mount Sinai Hospital, I'd like to thank you for your time...make it a great day. 54. INT. HOSPITAL - DAY A small group of patients, including Adam, have been watching the video. The people in the room applaud, Adam looks around baffled by both the video and the clapping. GEORGE, a tall male nurse of Bahamian descent, enters the room. GEORGE Adam Schwartz. Adam stands. GEORGE (CONT'D) Come with me my baby. Adam follows George into the elevator where they ride down into the bowel of the hospital: The Cancer Ward. Walking through the long ominous halls of the hospital basement, Adam passes dozens of sick patients who are being shuttled into Radiation Therapy, Chemotherapy and other various treatment rooms. A sick, fat, BALD ELDERLY WOMAN coughs as she passes. Adam winces in disgust. GEORGE (CONT'D) This way my baby. George leads Adam into a Chemotherapy Treatment room. INT. HOSPITAL. CHEMOTHERAPY ROOM - LATER Adam is seated in a plush leather chair where he's hooked into a chemo drip. He's surrounded by a dozen gaunt, hairless patients. He is the youngest patient by at least 20 years. Completely overwhelmed, Adam spots A BALD WOMAN sitting quietly knitting. She's at peace with herself. Her Zen like state helps Adam relax. Adam skims through a catalogue of clothing intended for cancer patients until he notices HENRY (50), a very small man sitting in a wheel chair which is attached to a respirator. Despite the fact that every breath Henry takes looks like it might kill him, he barks derogatory statements at the wall. Adam looks on in terror. The genial MITCH(85) notices. MITCH That's Henry. 55. ADAM Is he okay? MITCH He's always like that. ADAM (TERRIFIED) Is that going to happen to me? MITCH Best not worry about these things. ALAN (84), the contentious old man sitting next to Mitch chimes in. ALAN (TO ADAM) Want a hit? Adam looks down to see that Alan is holding a ONE HITTER full of weed. MITCH It makes it all a little easier to handle. ADAM (PARANOID) What if someone sees us? ALAN Don't be such an old man. Look at this place, it's like Death Row in here, they don't give a shit what we do. Adam reluctantly takes a hit. MITCH How old are you? ADAM Twenty-five. ALAN You're lucky. Life only gets worse anyway. MITCH Alan, stop it. (TO ADAM) Don't listen to him, he's just messing with you. 56. ALAN No I'm not. (TO ADAM) It's all downhill from here. Trust me. First your hair's going to fall out, then your balls will shrink. You'll marry a woman, or man, who'll suck every penny out of your savings and then leave you for a fitness instructor in a teal Miata. Then, to top it all off, your kids will one day stop talking to you because their therapist, who you pay for, tells them you're the reason they're so fucked up. MITCH You'll have to excuse Alan here, he's going through a rough time. ALAN (TO ADAM) I'm just being realistic. You want some advice? ADAM Not really. ALAN Don't end up a victim like the rest of `em. Life sucks, the earlier you accept it, the better off you'll be. ADAM I got to tell you, I was really nervous about this whole cancer thing, and then I met you guys, and boy do I feel better. Alan and Mitch laugh. ALAN (TO MITCH) I like this kid. (TO ADAM) I'm Alan Liebowitz: stage 4 lymphoma. Pleased to meet you. MITCH Mitch Horowitz, metastatic prostate cancer. 57. ADAM Adam Schwartz, schwannoma neurofibrosarcomas. ALAN What the fuck is that?...Sounds like the greek dish I had for lunch. Adam is beginning to feel the effects of the weed. ADAM ... man this pot is really strong. MITCH Medicinal. ALAN Good shit eh. Adam stares off into space. He's really high, almost like he's tripping. The walls start spinning. FADE TO: EXT. AMUSEMENT PARK - DAY (DREAM) Adam is standing on line for a Roller Coaster. He gets to the front of the line when the CARNIE stops him. CARNIE Hey you! What do you think you're doing? Everything Adam says is in German and subtitled in English. ADAM I want to ride. CARNIE Read the sign. The Carnies points to a sign that reads "No Cancer." ADAM I don't have cancer. CARNIE Then what's that? The Carnie points out Adam's T-shirt, it reads "I'M WITH CANCER." 58. Adam turns around to see a GIANT BALD FAT MAN eating cotton candy, his shirt reads "CANCER". Adam tries to run away, but he's attached to the Giant Fat Bald Guy via an umbilical cord. The Giant Fat Bald Guy reaches out, picks Adam up, and swallows him. END DREAM SEQUENCE INT. ADAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Adam jolts out of bed. His clothes are drenched in sweat. He looks down to see Rachel sleeping peacefully next to him. He quickly gets out of bed and runs into the bathroom. And by the sound of it, throws up. A lot. Rachel mutters something incoherent and then sprawls out, consuming the entire bed. INT. HOSPITAL. KATIE'S OFFICE - NEXT DAY Adam looks worn and exhausted from the chemo. He's never felt worse. KATIE So how do you feel after your first treatment? ADAM I feel like I was just gang raped by the Buena Vista Social Club. KATIE Is everything with you going to be a joke? ADAM I'm serious. Have you heard their horn section? KATIE Adam, you have a responsibility to your mind and body. ADAM I was just injected with three pints of kryptonite. Can we please hold off on the new agey stuff. KATIE You can't just sit there and ignore what's happening to you...You need to stop bottling everything up. 59. ADAM What I need is for people to stop telling me what I need. KATIE Have you considered that this cancer is nature's way of telling you to change the way you live your life? (off Adam's look) ...There's an old saying - you can't change the wind, but you can adjust the sails. ADAM They teach you that in medical school? Katie's patience is waning. KATIE I know you don't like to talk about your feelings, but you have to learn to find an outlet. ADAM (FRUSTRATED) An outlet for what? I have cancer. KATIE And how is your body ever going to fight the stress of that cancer if you can't even handle your own emotions? Adam snaps, rasing his voice. ADAM Well excuse me. You'll have to forgive me for not having a firm handle on my emotions at this particular juncture of my life. Katie's a little shaken by Adam's outburst. She stays firm. KATIE You don't have to be here. Adam knows he went too far. Plus, that little outburst lifted a little wight off his shoulders, and he knows it. ADAM I'm sorry, I know you're only trying to help. (MORE) 60. ADAM (CONT'D) This is all too much for me. I don't know what to do. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. Katie looks at Adam, is he being for real? She's skeptical. KATIE I want you to do some homework. Here's a list of books on mind-body therapy. They should help you get started. Katie hands Adam a sheet of paper with a list of books scribbled on it. WE PUSH IN ON THE LIST OF BOOKS: INT. BOOKSTORE. SELF HELP SECTION - DAY WE PULL OUT ON THE LIST OF BOOKS: Adam and Seth browse through shelves of books. Seth is reading the author's bio from one of the books on Katie's list. SETH (IN EXCITEMENT) "Franz Schlegel is an American `medical intuitive' and `mystic psychiatrist'. Schlegel's teachings are widely recognized as a global spiritual awakening that is transcending individual and collective human consciousness"... You're actually going to read this shit? This guy is a fucking tool. Seth ditches the New Age book and picks up one on Mardi Gras. SETH (CONT'D) Let's go to Mardi Gras! ADAM Why would we go to Mardi Gras? SETH Because it's Mardi Gras man. It's like a giant orgy of the sexiest women you can imagine all throwing themselves at you, screaming to be fucked. It's a fuck fest. 61. ADAM I'm getting chlamydia just listening to you talk about it. SETH We need to go see the world. ADAM This isn't my bachelor party we're planning here. SETH (FRUSTRATED) Adam you can not let your cancer go to waste. Adam takes the book from Seth's hands and puts it down. ADAM I'm not going anywhere. From across the store, Seth notices, CLAIRE (30), an attractive employee stacking books. SETH Well if you're not going to take advantage of your cancer, then I will. Seth yanks the list of books from Adam and crosses to Claire. SETH (CONT'D) Excuse me. CLAIRE Yes, how can I help you? SETH I'm looking to buy a few books - Seth hands Claire the list of book titles. She reads. CLAIRE Oh. (CONCERNED) Are these for...I'm sorry it's none of my business. SETH No that's okay. They're for my best friend, Adam. Seth nods towards Adam across the room. 62. SETH (CONT'D) He's pretty sick. Claire shoots Adam a look - the way one looks at a dying puppy. Adam looks on in confusion. CLAIRE How awful. SETH Yeah. Cancer, not cool. CLAIRE Poor guy. SETH I know it's been really hard. Claire leans in. CLAIRE It's bad isn't it? SETH Honestly? (FEIGNING SADNESS) Sometimes I just wish it was me instead of him...to relieve some of the burden, you know? I just...I just want to help. INT. BOOKSTORE - LATER Adam and Seth exit the bookstore. They pass Claire who gives Seth a big smile followed by the "call me" motion. ADAM What just happened? SETH (TO ADAM) I'll tell you what happened. Cancer happened, and you need to get on the train. INT. ADAM'S HOUSE - DAY Adam and Seth smoke a joint as they watch "Planet Earth" on a brand new 50" flat screen TV. There are a dozen oversized boxes marked "Rachel" scattered throughout the house. Rachel yells from the bedroom. 63. RACHEL (O.C.) Adam do you know where the dog leash is? ADAM Are you going to the park again? Rachel enters the room with the dog cradled in her arms. ADAM (CONT'D) This is the third time today. RACHEL He likes running around with the other dogs. ADAM He can barely make it to the door without shitting himself. Rachel finds the leash and then smells the joint. RACHEL (TAKEN ABACK) Are you smoking weed? ADAM Yeah. RACHEL Since when do you smoke? ADAM It's medicinal. Rachel's shocked, this is way out of character for Adam. RACHEL You got a prescription for medicinal marijuana? SETH No, I did. RACHEL What's wrong with you? SETH Night blindness. Rods and cones are off. Rachel rolls her eyes. Seth is ridiculous. Then she notices the new flat screen TV on the wall and just like that, her demeanor switches. She looks pissed. 64. RACHEL Where did that TV come from? ADAM The store. (off Rachel's furious LOOK) It's medicinal? RACHEL I thought we already agreed that my painting was going there. ADAM (trying to reason) Why can't we put up both? RACHEL You want me to put my painting next to a television? ADAM (SHRUGS) Yes? RACHEL (YELLS) Art needs to breathe Adam!...Do whatever you want. I'm taking your dog to the park!...And open a window. This isn't a dorm room. Rachel walks to the door, scoops the dog up in one arm and a bag of garbage in the other. ADAM (calls out to Rachel) Love you. The door slams. ADAM (CONT'D) I don't get it, they spend all day at the dog park. SETH Great. Maybe she'll move there. ADAM Can you not talk about her like that? Seth nearly chokes as he inhales. 65. SETH Are you joking? Do you see the way she treats you? ADAM She's got some kind of creative block...It's her process. SETH You have cancer for fuck's sake! If I was your girlfriend, I'd be baking you cookies and blowing you every thirty minutes. Instead, she's yelling at you over some fucking painting. Her art sucks. You don't want to put that on your wall. It looks like someone threw up a shrimp cocktail and then used it to spackle the Berlin Wall. ADAM We're going through a rough patch. That's what happens in relationships. SETH (SERIOUS) Bullshit. She's fucking you in the ass Adam. This is the one time in your life you can do whatever you want. If you want to smoke weed, then smoke. You want a 50 inch flat screen TV, then get the fucking TV! And if you want to go to Mardi Gras, then LET'S GO TO MARDI GRAS! ADAM We're not going to Mardi Gras. Seth takes a hit from the joint and hands it back to Adam. SETH (as he exhales) You're totally missing my point. INT. HOSPITAL. KATIE'S OFFICE - DAY Adam sits in Katie's office. ADAM I've been reading your books, and you know it actually makes sense...Some of it. (MORE) 66. ADAM (CONT'D) I'm not gonna lie, I don't really get the "Dark Night of the Soul" stuff. But I get it, years of anxiety have taken over my body. I'm blocked...emotionally. KATIE (EXCITED) Adam! This is fantastic. Adam is slightly taken aback by Katie's response. KATIE (CONT'D) You know if you're interested, there are some more advanced forms of therapy that I think could be really useful. ADAM Sure, if you think it'll help. INT. LAUGHTER THERAPY - DAY Adam and Seth are seated in a semi-circle with a half dozen middle aged men and women. At the front of the group is the LAUGHTER THERAPIST (50) - a short man with a long greying pony tail and a thick beard. All eyes are closed except for Seth and Adam's. Adam's hair is noticeably thin. LAUGHTER THERAPIST Good morning class. Before we begin I'd like to introduce Adam and Seth, our two newest giggle gurus. The class laughs. Adam and Seth look around paranoid. SETH (quietly to Adam) What are they laughing at? ADAM (quietly to Seth) Just go with it. Seth and Adam laugh along with the others. LAUGHTER THERAPIST (to Adam and Seth) Now what you'll soon discover is the true miracle and gift of laughter. (MORE) 67. LAUGHTER THERAPIST (CONT'D) Learning to laugh at ourselves and others through non- judgemental means is far more effective than any prescription drug, or, rehabilitation center. You see, when we laugh, our bodies release endorphins that not only support the immune system, but also release deeply stored emotional pain, and give us a fresh new outlook on life. The Laugh Therapist opens his eyes and stares intensely at Adam and then Seth. LAUGHTER THERAPIST (CONT'D) We don't tell jokes here, we tell the truth - and we laugh at that truth. The Laughter Therapist closes his eyes. LAUGHTER THERAPIST (CONT'D) So let us share. Adam, why don't you tell us what brings you here? Adam looks around in fear of saying the wrong thing. LAUGHTER THERAPIST (CONT'D) We're all friends here in the Laughter Pagoda. ADAM I, ah, have cancer. The entire class laughs hysterically. LAUGHTER THERAPIST Ah cancer yes. Yes. Laugh. Everyone. Beverly, share - BEVERLY Yesterday, I confiscated my son's pornography collection and then used it to masturbate 6 times. The class laughs. LAUGHTER THERAPIST Paul, share, PAUL My wife told me she's a lesbian. And then left me for my sister. 68. The class laughs. LAUGHTER THERAPIST JIM - JIM (GLUM) I owe two men eight grand by Friday. The class laughs. LAUGHTER THERAPIST SETH - SETH My best friend is a giant pussy. The class laughs. ADAM My best friend's favorite band is Abba. Everyone laughs except for Seth. SETH (DEFENSIVE) When I was 12. LAUGHTER THERAPIST (HYSTERICAL) Abba! Wonderful. I love it. Seth laugh. INT. ADAM'S BATHROOM - DAY TIME LAPSE: Adam stares at himself in the mirror. His health slowly deteriorates. Hair begins to fall out. His face thins. SUPER: JULY FADE TO: INT. HOSPITAL. HALLWAY - DAY Adam, Alan and Mitch sit in the corridor of the Cancer Ward. Adam is wearing a ski hat to cover his balding head. ALAN (CONFIDENT) Real. 69. MITCH Fake. ADAM Fake. CAMERA PULLS BACK to reveal an INSANELY HOT WOMAN with giant breasts in a hospital gown walk by the three men. ALAN You're both wrong. I think I know real when I see it. The hot woman scratches her head, revealing that she's wearing a WIG. ALAN (CONT'D) God damn it. Alan hands Adam and Mitch each a five dollar bill. Mitch notices Adam watching one of the OTHER PATIENT's sitting and laughing with HIS WIFE. There's a longing in Adam's eyes. MITCH How come we've never met Rachel? ALAN Yeah. What the fuck? ADAM She's been really stressed lately, Adam looks around at all the sick people. ADAM (CONT'D) If I brought her here, she'd probably freak out. ALAN Smart man. Save yourself the headache. MITCH Don't listen to him Adam. It's important to be with your loved ones in times like these. ALAN Bullshit. Women are nothing but trouble. (MORE) 70. ALAN (CONT'D) They're selfish animals who only add to the misery in your life. You want to talk about a cancer. MITCH Listen to me Adam, I've been married 40 years and it's my Margaret who keeps me going. Mitch pulls out his wallet. He holds out a picture of his wife MARGARET (80). MITCH (CONT'D) She's my reason to live. ALAN That's precious Mitch, I almost want to wrap it up and tie a little bow around it. (TO ADAM) Honestly, I don't give a shit. You can do whatever you want. It's your life. All I know is that I'm not going to spend my last days on this miserable planet pining over a woman. The day my wife left me was the best day of my life. Adam let's this soak in. EXT. HOSPITAL - AFTERNOON Adam's on his cell phone pacing in front of the hospital. RACHEL (V.O.) Hey, it's Rachel. I must be doing something really important. I'll give you a call when I'm done...yay! ADAM (INTO PHONE) Hey it's me, just checking to see if you're on your way. CUT TO: EXT. HOSPITAL PARKING LOT - LATER Adam paces impatiently. He calls Rachel again, it goes straight to voice mail. 71. RACHEL (V.O.) Hey, it's Rachel. I must be doing something really important. I'll give you a call when I'm done...yay! ADAM (INTO PHONE) It's me again. Just checking to see where you are. In case you're looking for me I'm now on the other side of the parking lot. Call me. As Katie walks to her car, she sees Adam pacing and mumbling to himself. KATIE Adam? ADAM (EMBARRASSED) Oh hey. KATIE What are you doing? ADAM Just waiting for Rachel to pick me up. KATIE What time is she coming? ADAM Uh, four. Katie looks at her watch. KATIE It's six thirty. ADAM She must be stuck in traffic. KATIE You want a ride? INT. KATIE'S CAR - MOMENTS LATER Adam is seated in the front seat as Katie drives. The car is filthy - it's littered with papers, magazines, food wrappers, etc. Katie's body is pressed all the way up against the steering wheel with her eyes fixed on the road. 72. KATIE Sorry about the mess. Adam picks up a copy of "Organizing Your Way to Success," which is lying on the floor. ADAM I think you should ask for a refund. KATIE I know, I know. What can I say? I'm not good at getting rid of things. I get easily attached. ADAM Yeah, I can see. Changing the subject. KATIE So you don't drive? ADAM Nope. KATIE But you have a license? ADAM Nope. (BEAT) I actually failed my test. KATIE No! ADAM (EMBARRASSED) It's true. KATIE But, I thought you can re-take the test. ADAM Eh. Let's just say, that the state of California felt it was best I didn't. Katie stares at Adam in shock. KATIE What did you do? 73. ADAM I kind of backed my mom's car down an embankment...Into the Balboa cactus garden. KATIE The garden with all the endangered plants? ADAM They didn't want to tow it out in fear of destroying more of the vegetation, so they had to use a giant crane. Katie lets out a tiny chuckle, but quickly contains herself. KATIE I'm sorry. That's terrible. Unable to hold back, Katie continues laughing. This is the first time we've seen Katie let go of her rigid nature. ADAM (ABRUPT) Stop the car. Katie looks at Adam nervously. KATIE Why what's wrong? ADAM Just stop the car. Katie stops the car. Adam grabs a handful of Katie's garbage and gets out. KATIE What are you doing? ADAM I can't handle all this mess. Adam tosses the garbage in a dumpster and comes back to the car for more. Katie starts laughing, she can't believe Adam is cleaning her car. KATIE Wait, no, not that, that's my dinner. Adam leaves Katie's dinner and throws out the rest of the garbage. He gets back in the car and takes a deep breath. 74. ADAM You can drive. EXT. ADAM'S HOUSE - LATER Adam and Katie arrive at Adam's house. ADAM Thanks for the ride... Adam looks at his house. The lights are out. He's really not in the mood to be alone. He looks back at Katie. ADAM (CONT'D) Do you want to come in. For a beverage? Or something? KATIE It probably wouldn't be very professional of me. ADAM Come on, I'll let you analyze my Id. Katie is hesitant, but she also feels in a strange way that Adam is more than a patient. KATIE Uh, okay. But I can't stay long. INT. ADAM'S HOUSE. LIVING ROOM - LATER Adam and Katie sit on the couch playing an ultra-violent video game. Katie is destroying Adam. KATIE You know you are terrible at this? Adam is totally lost. He has zero sense of how to play. ADAM I've never played before. KATIE This is your Playstation. ADAM Doesn't mean I play it. Games these days today are so complicated. (RE: CONTROL) (MORE) 75. ADAM (CONT'D) There's too many buttons. I can't keep track of what does what. KATIE (LAUGHS) Perhaps you'd prefer something a little more simple. Maybe a nice game of Connect Four or Bingo. ADAM She has a sense of humor. Katie's face lights up. She's proud of herself for that one. ADAM (CONT'D) Duck Hunt, now that was a game. You know why? One button. Katie laughs. ADAM (CONT'D) You think I'm kidding. My dad and I used to have Duck Hunt tournaments. He was actually really good. (BEAT) Until he had his stroke. KATIE That must have been hard, seeing him lose his cognitive skills like that. This is the most emotionally honest we've ever seen Adam. ADAM Well the funny thing is that the stroke actually made him a better player, he just lost interest. Katie feels for Adam. KATIE You've never talked about your dad. ADAM Well whose fault is that? Doctor? KATIE Hey! The two continue to play. Adam wildly pushes every button as Katie's character pins Adam's character and repeatedly slams his head into the ground. 76. Game over. Katie pats Adam on the shoulder. KATIE (CONT'D) Rematch? INT. ADAM'S KITCHEN - LATER THAT NIGHT Adam holds out a tray of wheat grass as he prepares to blend wheat grass shots. ADAM You ever had this stuff. KATIE No, but it's supposed to be really good for you. ADAM Well it smells like my grandmother. KATIE You complain a lot. ADAM You haven't met my mother. It's a miracle I do anything but complain. KATIE I try not to look at the world like that. ADAM The world would be a boring place if we didn't complain. Come on. There's got to be something. One thing, just one thing, that drives you nuts. KATIE Hmmm. (FISHING) I really don't like it when people at work finish all the coffee and don't refill the pot. ADAM It's infuriating right? 77. KATIE I wouldn't say infuriating. It's just not good work place etiquette. Adam is far more excited by this revelation. He hands Katie a shot of wheat grass and takes one last sniff of the awful smelling drink. He raises his glass to make a toast. ADAM To complaining. Adam downs the drink and cringes at the taste. Katie follows, and in total disgust, she spits her wheat grass all over Adam's face. KATIE Oh god, that's disgusting. I'm so sorry. Katie grabs a towel as Adam stands speechless. KATIE (CONT'D) Hold on. I'm so sorry. Adam keeps his eyes closed as Katie wipes his face. ADAM Is it all gone? For the first time, Katie notices how cute Adam is. Adam opens his eyes to catch Katie staring at him. They lock eyes for a moment. Uncomfortable, Adam averts his look. Suddenly, Rachel walks through the front door. RACHEL (O.C.) Adam? Feeling a little foolish, Katie motions to leave. KATIE I should probably be going. Rachel enters the kitchen. RACHEL Adam? ADAM Finally. Where have you been? RACHEL (MAD) I hope I'm not interrupting. 78. ADAM Oh, this is Dr. McRae, my therapist. RACHEL (SUSPICIOUS) This is your therapist? KATIE Please, call me Katie. RACHEL (SUSPICIOUS) OK. Katie. What are you doing here? ADAM She drove me home. Ring a bell? RACHEL Ugh. Shit. (SWEET/NERVOUS) Thank you so much for doing that. Life's been a little crazy lately, which I'm sure Adam has told you all about. I love those shoes. KATIE Thanks... Awkward silence. The tension is thick. KATIE (CONT'D) I'm going to go. I'll see you at our next session Adam. Katie leaves. ADAM Where have you been? RACHEL I was at the gallery. ADAM (PISSED) You were supposed to pick me up. 8 hours ago. RACHEL I know. I'm sorry. I totally spaced. With the opening only three months away my head's just all over the place. (off Adam's look) (MORE) 79. RACHEL (CONT'D) Don't look at me like that. You know this is a hard time for me. ADAM You're right. Let me go back and talk to the doctor - see if maybe they can diagnose me with something that better suits your needs. RACHEL (DEFENSIVE) I'm not just some car service here to shuttle you around! ADAM And my house isn't a summer camp. You can't just come and go as you please and not take some responsibility. RACHEL And what is it that I'm not taking responsibility for? ADAM This. Us. RACHEL I can't handle this! You make it sound like I'm your wife. ADAM You know what I thought the other day? That I might actually die without ever having sex again. RACHEL I'm sorry if your cancer isn't turning me on. Rachel begins to cry. RACHEL (CONT'D) You think this is easy for me seeing you sick like this? The past few months have been hard on me too. It's not always about you. ADAM (RELENTS) I know. Adam tenderly wraps his arms around Rachel. 80. A beat. RACHEL Why are you so good? ADAM You're my Yam. INT. ADAM'S BEDROOM - LATER THE SAME NIGHT Rachel stares at Adam as he sleeps next to her in bed. She slowly moves her index finger along Adam's arm and then seductively kisses his neck. Adam firmly grabs hold of Rachel and the two begin to go through the motions. Clothes come off. Adam gets on top of Rachel...And then stops. RACHEL What's wrong? ADAM I can't. RACHEL Why? Adam looks down. ADAM I don't know what's wrong. (DEFEATED) It won't work. Adam rolls over onto his back. He and Rachel lay silent - neither making contact with the other. FADE TO: SUPER: SEPTEMBER INT. HOSPITAL. CHEMOTHERAPY TREATMENT ROOM - MORNING Adam sits down next to Mitch, but notices there's no Alan. ADAM Where's Alan? Speechless, Mitch looks up at Adam and slowly shakes his head. Tears roll down Mitch's cheek. Adam's face goes white. 81. EXT. CEMETERY - DAY Adam and Mitch stand next to the RABBI. The tombstone reads "ALAN LIEBOWITZ (1923-2007) FINALLY." THE CAMERA TILTS up to the sky, and then DOWN to reveal: EXT. BOCA RATON RETIREMENT COMMUNITY - DAY (DREAM) A healthy Adam is surrounded by dozens of energetic elderly people who are swimming, playing bocci ball, shuffle board, bridge, etc. Adam looks on in confusion as an OLD MAN wearing an official looking badge drives by on a golf cart. ADAM Excuse me. The old man stops his cart. OLD MAN How can I help you? ADAM Where am I? OLD MAN The After Life. ADAM This is Heaven? The old man scratches his balls. OLD MAN Pretty great huh? They've even got a frozen yogurt machine. The old man points to a long line of excited seniors awaiting their turn at a massive Frozen Yogurt Sundae Bar. A sign in front reads "WAIT: 45 MINUTES". ADAM There are lines in Heaven? OLD MAN It's worth it. End Dream. 82. INT. ADAM'S HOUSE - NIGHT Adam jumps from bed in cold sweat. INT. SYNAGOGUE. RABBI JACOB'S OFFICE - DAY Adam is seated in the Rabbi's office, he looks despondent. RABBI So you want to know what's going to happen when you die? ADAM I think it's a fair question. RABBI Fair yes, but impossible for me to answer. Our deaths, like our lives, have meaning and are all part of God's plan. How should I know what God has planned for you. Maybe if you came to service once in a while... ADAM Well am I going to go to Heaven? RABBI Probably. ADAM What if I want to just die? That's it. No Heaven. RABBI That's like buying a ticket for a cruise and then not going. The Afterlife is where the fun begins. ADAM How can being stuck in some nonexistent void with my grandparents be fun. I spent my entire life trying to get away from my family, now I'm going to have to spend an eternity with them. RABBI Adam, you can not look at death as a curse. Even in death we are all still part of God. Life on Earth is just the beginning. 83. ADAM But that's not what I want. RABBI (FRUSTRATED) Oy. Then find another religion. I don't make the rules. INT. HOSPITAL. KATIE'S OFFICE - DAY Adam is lying on the couch staring at the ceiling. There is total silence. KATIE You're being awfully quiet today. Is everything okay? ADAM I'm going to die aren't I? KATIE What are you talking about? ADAM It's true. KATIE We don't know that. Adam sits up and looks at Katie. ADAM I'm not getting any better. KATIE Don't say that, you're doing so well. ADAM Did you know that they found a Quasar 7 billion light years away? 7 billion light years! It's more than 3 billion years older than our planet, and we're just seeing it now; and you think I'm going to live? KATIE (TOTALLY BAFFLED) What are you talking about? 84. ADAM Cancer is an epidemic! It killed Alan, it's going to kill me, and it's going to kill millions more after me. There's nothing anybody can do. KATIE This is really good Adam. Let it out. ADAM Will you stop! (BEAT) I can't do this anymore. It doesn't matter. None of it. I'm going to die and with nothing to show for my life. 100 years from now my legacy be will be that of just another person dead of cancer. That's it. KATIE This helplessness you're feeling is normal. These emotions you're holding onto are what make you human. But it doesn't mean you can just stop living your life. (BEAT) Look at how you've grown over the past few months, you can't just throw it all away...Talk to me. ADAM I know you're only trying to help, but this isn't working for me anymore. (BEAT) I'm sorry. Adam leaves. Katie is left feeling as though she failed. INT. HOSPITAL - DAY Adam lies on the bed of an MRI machine. His body is slowly drawn into the enclosed body scanner. INT. ADAM'S BATHROOM - MORNING TIME LAPSE: Adam's stares at himself in the mirror. His health deteriorates even more. SUPER: NOVEMBER 85. Looking at himself in the mirror, Adam takes note of his hollow cheeks and worn eyes. He looks awful, like an old man. There isn't any youth left. He's not getting any better, and he knows it. Noticing a few renegade hairs sticking up, Adam pulls out a lint brush and combs his head. Rachel enters and steps up on the scale. She examines herself in the mirror. ADAM I need a new lint brush. RACHEL Okay, I'll pick one up. ADAM And I have a doctor's appointment next Thursday...The big one. Rachel continues to examines her waist. RACHEL Am I getting fat? Adam stares at Rachel. RACHEL (CONT'D) What? ADAM Are you listening to me? RACHEL (ANNOYED) Yes. ADAM So you'll take me? RACHEL Of course. Rachel leaves. In frustration Adam weakly picks up the scale and throws it against the wall, smashing it. CUT TO: INT. ADAM'S LIVING ROOM - DAY Adam sits alone in his empty house. It's a mess. He looks unhinged. 86. He slowly pulls a hit from a joint as he watches Matlock on his flat screen TV, which has been moved to the floor to make room for Rachel's painting. Adam flips the channel to Martha Stewart, then to I Love Lucy, then to General Hospital, then to Body Building on ESPN. He turns the TV off. He's bored. Adam crosses to the answering machine. It reads "10 Messages." He presses play. All the messages are from his mother. He hits delete. Adam reads through a stack of unopened letters. He comes across a postcard from the Museum advertising "Mountain Dew Presents: The Origins of Man". DISSOLVE TO: INT. SAN DIEGO MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY - DAY CLOSE ON: the "Mountain Dew Presents: The Origins of Man" poster in the Museum's main entrance. Adam enters the museum and walks up to the sign. People stop and stare, stunned by Adam's gaunt appearance - like a ghost haunting the grounds. Adam carries a wide smile, he's overcome with a sense of nostalgia for his old job. INT. PHIL'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER Phil and Adam sit in Phil's office. PHIL You look great. ADAM Really? PHIL (INSINCERE) Yeah, look at you. ADAM I want to come back to work. PHIL (IN DISBELIEF) You want to come back? Here? ADAM What's so crazy about that? 87. PHIL You could be anywhere right now, and this is that place? ADAM Yeah. PHIL Are you sure that's a good idea? Phil is treading a fine line... PHIL (CONT'D) ...Given...your current health? ADAM You said I look great. PHIL Yeah for a guy with cancer. Adam looks dejected. Phil feels bad, he went too far. PHIL (CONT'D) Alright, what the hell? I'd love to have you back. Let's be honest this place is falling apart without you. ADAM Thank you Phil. PHIL (SYMPATHETICALLY ) So you're really okay? I mean, the cancer, is- ADAM Oh it's really good. We've come to an understanding. It takes whatever it wants and depletes me of my every will to live, and I let it. Phil, second-guessing his decision- PHIL Welcome back. INT. MUSEUM. POMPEII EXHIBIT - LATER Seth leads a tour of FOREIGN TOURISTS through the museum. He speaks as he did earlier - like a game show host. 88. SETH And if you look over on your left you'll see our newest exhibit "The Last Days Pompeii." Buried in 79 AD by the catastrophic eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, Pompeii remained hidden and forgotten until 1748 when archeologists began to excavate the site. Here we see exquisitely preserved objects that offer a glimpse into the day-to-day life of this ancient city. Seth comes upon Adam who is working closely on a diorama. SETH (CONT'D) This here is Adam, one of our curators. Adam do you want to tell us what you're working on? ADAM (UPBEAT) Gladly. This here is a depiction of what Pompeii's final 19 hours probably looked like. Adam's exhibit is a highly morbid depiction of Pompeii's final hours. The scene is total chaos. Ash flies through the air. Hot molten lava engulfs the town. Miniature men, women, and children run through the streets in horror. People are sacrificing whatever they can for the Gods. There's a wild orgy in the streets. And a giant TYRANNOSAURS REX model devours a villager. ADAM (CONT'D) According to Pliny the Younger - "You could hear women lamenting, children crying, men shouting. There were some so afraid of death that they prayed for death. Many raised their hands to the gods, and even more believed that there were no gods any longer, and that this was one unending night for the world." The tourists take pictures. In shock, Seth quickly shuttles the group away. SETH Ok. Moving along we see the beautiful watercolor paintings of John James Audobon. 89. Seth looks back at Adam like he's lost his mind. INT. MUSEUM. HALL - LATER The sound of someone vomiting can be heard booming from the men's bathroom. A crowd of Museum guests walk past in horror. They look at each other in fear. The toilet flushes. Adam walks out. Everyone stares. Adam smiles in embarrassment. ADAM (AWKWARD) I'll be in Pompeii if anyone needs me. Adam walks back to the Pompeii exhibit. Phil approaches. PHIL You feeling okay? You don't look so good. ADAM Could be worse. Right? Phil notices the Pompeii exhibit. PHIL (STARTLED) Jesus! Phil feels terrible about what he's going to say next. PHIL (CONT'D) Listen Adam...I don't know how to say this... Phil places a comforting hand on Adam's shoulder. ADAM Don't worry...I get it. You're a good guy. PHIL Come back when you're better. You know you'll always have a home here. INT. MUSEUM. ORIGINS OF MAN EXHIBIT - MOMENTS LATER Distraught, Adam walks down the Hall of Evolution. Slouched in defeat, he passes the various dioramas depicting human evolution. He begins at MODERN HUMANS and walks backwards in time. 90. He comes to the family of Cro Magnons, then Neanderthal man. He stops and looks at Neanderthal - their slumped profiles match. He continues down the hall towards the exit. EXT. SAN DIEGO BOARDWALK - AFTERNOON Adam walks along the boardwalk. He's surrounded by perfection. The beach. The water. The blue sky. Hundreds of beautiful men and women in their 20's and 30's: jogging, biking, surfing, skate boarding, playing volleyball, etc. He looks like a raisin among grapes. EXT. ADAM'S HOUSE - DAY Adam stands impatiently on his porch. He looks at his watch and then dials his phone. RACHEL (V.O.) Hey, it's Rachel. I must be doing something really important. I'll give you a call when I'm done...yay! Adam's face is red with fury. He does his best to hold back. ADAM (SWEET) Hey, it's Adam. Where are you? Maybe you forgot, but my appointment is today. So call me back. Enraged, Adam hangs up. ADAM (CONT'D) Fuck! Adam picks up his phone and dials again. SETH (V.O.) Yoooooo. ADAM Hey man, I need you to do me - SETH (V.O.) Not around. Leave a message. Adam hangs up and dials again. 91. EDITH (O.S.) (YELLING) Hello, Adam holds the phone away from his ear and cringes. A pang of regret runs through his body. ADAM Hi mom. INT. HOSPITAL EXAMINATION ROOM - LATER Edith, Art and Adam sit in the exam room, each reading their respective magazines - minus Art who is lost somewhere in his own world. The tension is thick. Edith looks at her watch and shivers. There's a knock at the door. A CUTE NURSE enters. CUTE NURSE The Doctor wanted me to apologize for running late, he's just in with another patient, but should be out in a few minutes. You guys holding up alright? EDITH It's very cold in here. Is there anyway you can turn down the Air Conditioning? CUTE NURSE Unfortunately the temperature is controlled by a central thermostat. EDITH My son has cancer. CUTE NURSE (FEELS BAD) I'm sorry, really, if I could I would, but there's nothing I can do. Adam's pissed that his mother has just involved him. ADAM (smiles to the Nurse) Don't worry about it. (Scowls at Edith) I'm fine. CUTE NURSE Are you sure? I could get you a blanket. 92. ADAM No, really, I'm okay. But thank you. EDITH I'd love a blanket. ADAM (to the Cute Nurse) We're fine. CUTE NURSE Okay, but you let me know if you need anything. The Nurse smiles at Adam in sympathy, he smiles back. The Cute Nurse exits. EDITH (Re: the cute nurse) I don't like her. Edith puts her hand on Adam's forehead. He looks at her hand and then picks up a magazine in an attempt to ignore her. EDITH (CONT'D) You feel warm. ADAM I'm fine. Edith pulls some pills out her fanny pack. EDITH Take these. ADAM (ANNOYED) You're like some kind of deranged pusher. EDITH Do you know what it's like to fear losing your son? No. You don't. When you have children of your own we can discuss it. Now take the pills. Adam puts the pills in his mouth and pretends to swallow. Edith gets up from her chair. As soon as his mother turns away, Adam spits the pills into his hand. Edith paces around the room looking at the Doctor's various degrees on the wall. 93. Adam looks on, annoyed at every step his mother takes. Edith closes in on one of the degrees and puts on her reading glasses for further examination. EDITH (CONT'D) (DISAPPROVING) Huh. ADAM What? EDITH Oh nothing. ADAM (ANNOYED) What? EDITH It's nothing, he went to a state college. ADAM You're unbelievable. EDITH I just worry that you're not getting the best care possible. Adam can't take it anymore. ADAM Well who needs a doctor when they've got you and your fanny pack? EDITH You can be a little shit sometimes, you know that? You think I don't know what's best for you? I birthed you. You came out of me. I am your mother, for better or for worse, so accept it. (Re: fanny pack) You don't like this, well I'm sorry. It's my own way of caring. ADAM (SNAPS) Well stop! You're driving me crazy. With the comments and the pills every five minutes. Just stop. I'm not dad. I can take care of myself. 94. Edith turns away, Adam's words hurt. ADAM (CONT'D) I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Edith blows her nose as tears rolls down her cheek. EDITH Yes you did. I drive you crazy. Adam gently puts his hand on Edith's shoulder. ADAM Mom. Edith turns to Adam helpless and scared. EDITH You're all I've got. Look at your father. We see Art sitting in the chair picking his nose. EDITH (CONT'D) I've lost him. My true love, gone. I'm never going see him again, at least not in this life. (BEAT) He spent his whole life priding himself on his independence, always too stubborn to ask for help and now look at the son of a bitch. (TO ART) You happy? You like shitting yourself? ADAM Mom! EDITH He was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. And then I had you, and that was even greater. So if I hover and threaten your independence, so what? You have a mother who loves you more than anything. Is that so awful? ADAM No. It's not. Adam and Edith share a moment...Dr. Ross storms in the room carrying a stack of MRI films. He seems rushed. 95. DR. ROSS Sorry to keep you folks waiting. It's been one of those days...car got towed. Wife double parked it. Adam and Edith look at Dr Ross with blank stares. DR. ROSS (CONT'D) Anyway I'll cut to the chase. The cancer's not responding to the chemo. Dr. Ross places the MRI into the light box. DR. ROSS (CONT'D) As you can see...The tumor is continuing to grow here, along the nerve. Adam and Edith squint to see what Ross is talking about, but see nothing. ADAM So what do we do? DR. ROSS We need to operate. If we don't remove it soon we risk metastasis. ADAM But you said surgery was too risky. DR. ROSS We're out of options. Tears roll down Edith's cheek. Adam grabs hold of her hand. EDITH But he's going to be okay, right? You're going to fix it. Dr. Ross sits, he knows this can't be easy for a mother. DR. ROSS This surgery is no guarantee. The risks are tremendous. And, even if we're able to remove the tumor there's still the chance that Adam, you'll never be able to walk again. Adam looks at his mother. He firmly grabs hold of her hand. 96. ADAM Does that mean...I can get handicap parking? Adam's line breaks the tension forcing a slight smile across Edith's face. INT. ADAM'S HOUSE - LATER THAT NIGHT Distraught and emotionally worn, Adam enters to discover the smell of a home cooked meal. He walks through the house. INT. ADAM'S KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS He stands in the doorway of the kitchen staring at Rachel cooking. Rachel turns around. She's in high spirits. RACHEL Hey you. Rachel gleefully skips over and gives Adam a sweet kiss on the cheek. ADAM Smells good. RACHEL The girls and I are having a movie night. I somehow got suckered into cooking. (off Adam's look) Don't worry I left you some. Adam feigns a smile, hiding the pain of his heart breaking in a thousand pieces. Suddenly Rachel's iPhone VIBRATES. She picks it up, and reads her text message. Her face lights up as she reads. She quickly types a reply. ADAM (SUSPICIOUS) Who's that? RACHEL Susan. She wants to know what time I'm coming over. ADAM (even more suspicious) That's what she just texted? (MORE) 97. ADAM (CONT'D) She wants to know what time you're going over to her house? Rachel puts the phone down on the counter and returns to her cooking. RACHEL Uh huh. ADAM Alright, well I'm gonna go lie down. RACHEL I might be out late so don't wait up. Adam walks to the bedroom. After a beat he moves back to the doorway and pops his head around the corner. He quietly watches Rachel cross from the kitchen into the living room. He stealthily steps into the kitchen, picks Rachel's iPhone off the counter and scrolls through her text messages. ADAM (TO SELF) What the fuck? Rachel enters the kitchen. RACHEL What are you doing? ADAM Who's James? RACHEL My art partner. ADAM (re: text message) He wants to know if you're still coming over tonight. Should I tell him you're having a girls night? (CONTINUES READING) Oh wait, you already told him to bring the wine. (LOOKS UP) That's funny. It seems as though you've double booked yourself. RACHEL I can't believe you just invaded my privacy like that. 98. ADAM (READING PHONE) Oh, you just got another text from him. He says "Your skin is the canvas upon which my dreams are painted... Rachel reaches for the phone. Adam pulls away. RACHEL (FUMING) Give me back my phone. ADAM (READING) "Hope you're not too sore from this afternoon." (A BEAT) He seems sweet. RACHEL Adam, it's not what you think. ADAM Well now how do you know what I'm thinking? RACHEL Don't be like that. I didn't do anything wrong. ADAM (SERIOUS) You've been cheating on me. RACHEL Adam you're being ridiculous. ADAM Am I? Adam holds up Rachel's phone to display a photo of Rachel naked, covered in red paint. ADAM (CONT'D) What's this? Adam scrolls through an entire series of nude photos of Rachel - all ridiculously artistic. ADAM (CONT'D) And this? And this? And this? There are over a dozen naked photos of you in here. 99. Suddenly the back door swings open. Oblivious, Seth enters. SETH Hey guys. Adam and Rachel say nothing. Seth can tell he just walked into some major shit. SETH (CONT'D) Bad time? Adam and Rachel say nothing. Seth takes a peak at Rachel's iPhone. SETH (CONT'D) (IMPRESSED) Whoa! Nice! Now that I would put on the wall. (off Adam's look) I can see you're in the middle of something. I'll just be in the other room. Seth crosses to the living room. Rachel picks up the conversation where they left off. RACHEL It's a portrait series, commenting on post-colonial patriarchy in the Congo. (off Adam's look) ...That's it. Nothing more. ADAM Have you lost your mind? I had the most important appointment of my life today and you missed it because you were off with your "art partner"...And what the fuck do you know about Africa? Rachel totally forgot about his appointment. The guilt runs through her body. RACHEL Oh shit. I forgot. Please, Adam, I'm so sorry. (CONCERNED) What did the doctor say? ADAM Did you cheat on me? 100. RACHEL (CRYING) Adam stop. Tell me what the doctor said. ADAM DID-YOU-CHEAT-ON-ME!? Like a child being scolded, Rachel's face says it all. RACHEL (POUTING) Are you going to break up with me? ADAM No. (BEAT) I'm going to pretend you never existed. RACHEL (CRYING HYSTERICALLY) Please. I don't want to break up. ADAM You know, you have a pretty fucked up way of showing your commitment. RACHEL I told you I couldn't handle this! Rachel stares at Adam with her adorable green eyes. She takes his hand. RACHEL (CONT'D) I'm sorry...I love you. They embrace. A beat. Adam lets go. He looks Rachel in the eyes. ADAM I want you out my house. Adam walks out the back door. Seth enters the kitchen and gets in Rachel's face. He stares her down. SETH Shame on you. Seth exits out the back door. 101. EXT. YACHT CLUB - LATER THAT NIGHT Adam and Seth sit on the bow of a docked sail boat. The two have had a lot to drink. Adam is understandably upset. SETH Your skin is the canvas upon which my dreams are painted? ADAM (DISGUSTED) I know. SETH (BEAT) Is "dreams" a metaphor, for- Seth makes a masturbating motion with his hand. ADAM You remember the last time we came out here? SETH Prom night. How could I forget? Jen Zabrowski went down on me right where you're sitting. ADAM That memory is so far from me, SETH Jen giving me a blow job? ADAM No, prom night. It feels like a lifetime ago... I know it happened, but that's it. It's like someone else's memory. Adam stares out at the ocean. Reality check. SETH You okay? Adam throws his beer bottle into the ocean. ADAM I can't believe this is all actually happening. SETH The girl or the cancer? 102. ADAM Both. SETH It's some pretty fucked up shit. ADAM You know, I used to think that I was actually going to spend the rest of my life with Rachel...granted that might not be so far off. (shakes his head) What a waste. Seth puts his arm around him. SETH We need to get you laid. ADAM (ANNOYED) Don't you ever give up? SETH No. ADAM Seriously, who's going to have sex with me? SETH Some girls are into it? ADAM I look like Powder. (BEAT) Plus I have erectile dysfunction...temporary. I hope. SETH Then let's go get me laid. Seth stands, and then stumbles. He's really drunk. ADAM I think I should drive. SETH You don't have a license. ADAM You're drunk. 103. SETH Do you even know how to drive? ADAM How hard can it be? SETH Hard enough that you don't have a license. ADAM (SOMBER) This might be my last chance. SETH Driving! You care about driving! We could be on Everest getting high on Ayahuasca with Sherpas, and you want to drive!...Forget it, I give up. Drive. The two get off the boat and climb into Seth's car. Adam puts the key in the ignition. Without checking the mirrors, he backs the car up. BOOM the car slams into a giant statue of Neptune riding a sea horse. SETH (CONT'D) Hey Miss Daisy, will you please watch where your going? ADAM What? I didn't see it. SETH That's what the mirrors are for. Adam pulls out of the parking lot. SETH (CONT'D) Turn right. ADAM I know what I'm doing. Adam turns left onto a one way street. It's the wrong way. SETH Apparently not. YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY! An oncoming car honks and swerves out of the way - only nearly avoiding a head on collision. 104. SETH (CONT'D) Adam! Turn the car around. ADAM No. I'm driving and I want to go this way. Another car swerves out of the way. SETH What the fuck is wrong with you? ADAM For once can you just shut up and let me do this? So I'm driving the wrong way? Big fucking deal. Seth pulls the emergency brake. The car stops abruptly. SETH You're an idiot. A beat. ADAM Get out. SETH This is my car. Adam looks like he's about to erupt. ADAM GET! OUT! Seth looks at Adam speechless, and then gets out of the car. SETH You're being a real douche. Adam locks the doors and sits quietly for a moment. He then proceeds scream at the top of his lungs. 25 years worth of suppressed emotions come out. Adam pulls out his cell phone. Seth notices. He tries to open the door. It's locked. SETH (CONT'D) Adam, open the door. Adam ignores Seth and begins to dial. 105. SETH (CONT'D) Don't you dare call her. Not after everything she's done to you. Adam gives Seth the finger. SETH (CONT'D) You're a pussy. ADAM Well you're a selfish piece of shit who cares more about getting his dick wet than actually being a friend. Seth looks hurt. Adam holds the phone up to his head. INT. BEDROOM - SAME TIME (INTERCUT) The phone rings. A dark figure in bed sits up and turns on the bedside lamp. It's not Rachel, it's Katie. KATIE (ASLEEP) Hello. ADAM I don't want to die. KATIE Adam? Katie sits up. She's awake now. ADAM I'm 25 years old and I've never even been to Canada. I haven't lived my life! (BEAT) I'm really, really scared. KATIE I know. ADAM I'm sorry for the way I acted. I should have never stormed out like that. KATIE It was wrong of me to push you the way I did. I wasn't listening. (MORE) 106. KATIE (CONT'D) I could never have handled all of this the way you have. ADAM You mean like a complete asshole? Katie laughs. And then silence, she really cares about him. KATIE I think you're really brave. ADAM If I don't die, I think we should go on a date. KATIE Adam, I'm not sure if that's a good idea. ADAM Why not? KATIE Not only am I your therapist, but you're also my first patient, ever. What kind of precedent would I be setting? ADAM It makes for a nice incentive. KATIE I can't date you. ADAM (PLAYFUL) Yes you can. KATIE No I can't. ADAM Yes, you can. KATIE No I can't. ADAM A wise person once told me - you can't change the wind, but you can adjust the sails. 107. KATIE (LAUGHS) Adam I can't date you. ADAM (COY) That's what you think. Suddenly Adam passes out. His head slams into the steering wheel. The Horn blares. KATIE Adam? Adam? Adam? CUT TO: EXT. SETH'S APARTMENT - LATER THAT NIGHT Seth and Adam stagger into the building. INT. SETH'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS Adam and Seth enter the dingy studio apartment - it looks like it hasn't been cleaned in years. Adam scoops up some dust with his finger. Seth is unusually quiet. Both guys are being distant. Seth pulls down the Murphy Bed and the two awkwardly avoid eye contact as they undress. Adam climbs into bed. He notices a book called "Coping with Your Loved One's Cancer" on Seth's bedside table. The book is worn and has multiple book marks - indicating it's been read. Adam looks at Seth, he had him pegged all wrong. Seth claps his hands. The lights turn off. ADAM Good night. SETH Night. Lying in bed, Adam hears a strange noise, he tilts his head to the side to see Seth breathing heavily and staring at him. ADAM (UNCOMFORTABLE) What are you doing? SETH Watching you sleep. 108. ADAM It's a little creepy. SETH I know. I can't help it. Seth lays back on his pillow and holds onto Adam's hand. They both stare up at the ceiling - terrified about the future. EXT. FOX MEADOW GALLERIA PARKING LOT - NEXT DAY Seth's car enters the Mall parking lot and parks. VOICE MALL OPERATOR (V.O.) You have 2 new messages. First message. A beep. RICHARD MATHESSON (V.O.) Hi Adam, this is Richard Mathesson, your family's estate lawyer. Your mother asked me to call. We need to talk about potential, ah, well just call me, there are some potential arrangements we need to work out. INT. MEN'S WEARHOUSE - MOMENTS LATER Adam and Seth browse through racks of mens suits. Adam comes upon one he likes. The SALES CLERK approaches. SALES CLERK Sir can I help you with anything today? ADAM (holds up suit) You think this is a good suit to wear to your own funeral? SALES CLERK No, what you want is on level 3. CUT TO: EXT. REDWOOD FUNERAL HOME/CEMETERY - SAME DAY Seth's car drives up the long driveway of the Cemetery. 109. VOICE MAIL OPERATOR (V.O.) Next message. A beep. DR. ROSS (V.O.) Adam, this is Dr. Ross. Good news, I was able to expedite the wait for your surgery. Your scheduled for tomorrow morning at 7:00 am with Dr. Lamb. Please call my office if you have any questions. EXT. FUNERAL HOME/CEMETERY - LATER A MORTICIAN, stout and dignified, with a slight British accent leads Adam and Seth on a tour of the cemetery grounds. MORTICIAN Here at Linden we're more than just a stopping ground for the deceased. We understand that life is different for everyone, and helping families to see their loved ones off to the hereafter means approaching every funeral and burial with it's own dignity and care...A funeral is a representation of the individuals time spent on earth, so I ask you to reflect on your inevitable interment and think carefully in choosing the service and tomb that best befits you. SETH What about a Viking funeral? MORTICIAN (INTRIGUED) I'm not familiar. SETH (talking out of his ass) You know, we put him on a boat... cover it with...dirt and...branches...whatever you can find. We push it out...into the sea...or the ocean...and then shoot flaming arrows, boom! It catches on fire...And that's it. It's awesome. The Mortician stops and looks at Seth. He's not even going to dignify Seth with a reply. A beat. 110. MORTICIAN (points to grave plot) Here you are, the Schwartz family plot. Adam and Seth look at the rows of Schwartz family tombstones. Up front is an empty gap, presumably where Adam and his parents are to go. Adam and Seth stare at the graves as we: DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL PRE-OP ROOM - EARLY MORNING Adam lies on a gurney. DR. LAMB, the neurosurgeon performing Adam's surgery enters. He's wired on Espresso. Behind him is NURSE WONG who looks like she'd rather be anywhere else. DR. LAMB Good morning Adam, how are you feeling? Good. Good. Good. Good. Despite Dr. Lamb's already thick glasses, he holds Adam's medical chart right up to his to his face. DR. LAMB (CONT'D) So we're going to be removing your kidney? Right? Or is it the left? Just kidding. That's doctor humor. Adam forces a small chuckle. He's completely terrified. DR. LAMB (CONT'D) Nurse Wong here needs you to sign a few papers, so I'm going to leave her to do her job, and I'll see you after the surgery. Dr. Lamb exits. Nurse Wong hands Adam a giant pile of disclaimers to sign. ADAM What is all this? NURSE WONG Hospital liability and disclaimer forms...in case they need to fuse your spine or remove any organs. You know, the usual. ADAM Oh, great. (TO HIMSELF) (MORE) 111. ADAM (CONT'D) Glad to hear there's nothing unusual about removing organs. Adam signs the documents and hands them back to Nurse Wong. NURSE WONG You have some visitors. As Nurse Wong exits, Edith and Art enter. EDITH There he is. Edith pulls a strip of pills out of her fanny pack. She hands them to Adam like she's slipping him illegal drugs. EDITH (CONT'D) Here take these. They're special. I got them from Canada. Adam looks closely at the pills - they read "NUPRIN." ADAM (PERPLEXED) Mom, this is Nuprin. EDITH I know isn't it great? Adam looks at his mother, perplexed by her logic. ADAM (SHRUGS) What the hell. Adam downs the pills. Art whispers closely into his ear. ART I gotta new coat. ADAM That's great dad. ART Brooks Brothers. Silk pockets. Feel. Adam sticks his hand inside the pocket of Art's coat. ART (CONT'D) Feel. ADAM I am feeling. 112. Art grabs hold of Adam's hand and stares at his son. A beat. ART I love you son. ADAM I love you too dad. Katie knocks on the door. KATIE Hello? Katie slowly enters holding a bouquet of flowers. Edith examines her. This is too awkward. ADAM Egh em. Mom. Mom. Adam nods for his mother to leave. EDITH Alright. Come on Art, let's go to the waiting room. On her way out, Edith turns to Katie and notices a CROSS around her neck. EDITH (CONT'D) (DISPLEASED) Hmmm. Edith and Art exit. Adam is left alone with Katie. They're both nervous. KATIE I brought you flowers. Not sure why, I didn't know what else- ADAM They're great, thank you. Katie sits on the bed next to Adam. KATIE So how you doing? ADAM I'm a little freaked out. A small GERMAN ANESTHESIOLOGIST enters. There is something incredibly unsettling about her thick accent. 113. ANESTHESIOLOGIST Hello Adam, I am the Anesthesiologist. I will give you shot to make you sleep. Adam holds Katie's hand. ADAM Will you be here when I wake up? KATIE I'm not going anywhere. ANESTHESIOLOGIST Now relax, this will take a few minutes to feel the effect. The Anesthesiologist injects the drugs into Adam's IV. ADAM (TERRIFIED) About how long? ANESTHESIOLOGIST Relax, you will soon begin the sleeping. ADAM Well what if it doesn't work. How do you know I won't wake in the middle of the surgery? What if I- Just like that, Adam's out cold. INT. HOSPITAL SURGICAL AMPHITHEATER - LATER Adam is face down on the operating table. Two Neurosurgeons, Dr. Lamb and DR. HENRY are in mid surgery. Alongside the two doctors are Nurse Wong and NURSE SCOTT. DR. HENRY I'm telling you Sir Francis Drake was a Buccaneer. DR. LAMB No he was a privateer. NURSE SCOTT I thought he was a pirate. 114. DR. LAMB A pirate works for no one but himself. A privateer has a mandate from a government. DR. HENRY I thought that was a buccaneer. DR. LAMB No, a buccaneer is a butcher turned pirate. DR. HENRY Then what's a mercenary? DR. LAMB (FRUSTRATED) Nurse Wong. Will you Google it? Standing to the side of the operating table is the group of Med Students from earlier. They're still taking notes. INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Edith, Art and Seth sit impatiently watching the clock. Katie paces up and down the hall. Hours go by. Time can't seem to go by quick enough. CUT TO: INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - LATER Dr. Lamb finds Edith, Katie and Seth in the waiting room. DR. LAMB We were successful in the extraction of the tumor. However, as you can imagine, with something of this magnitude...there were some unforeseen complications. The bone corrosion was much greater than initially anticipated. We had to remove part of the hip and pelvis, as well as most of the psoas muscle. We also had to remove a good amount of sheath tissue around the sciatic nerve, the damage to that nerve is considerable, which is going to hinder his ability to walk...He's in stable condition right now, but it's touch and go. 115. INT. HOSPITAL ICU - MOMENTS LATER Adam's in his hospital bed - still asleep from the surgery. A NURSE comes in to change his IV. Adam slowly awakens. He is high on morphine. He stares, mesmerized by the nurse. ADAM That is the most beautiful dresses. Where did you get it? Dr. Lamb enters. DR. LAMB Adam, I see you're awake. ADAM I'm here. DR. LAMB How are you feeling? ADAM I feel wonderful. DR. LAMB That would be the morphine. Dr. Lamb picks up a handle that's attached to the morphine drip and sticks it in Adam's hand. DR. LAMB (CONT'D) I want you to push this little button any time you feel pain. It'll trigger the morphine. You think you can do that? Adam moves his hands really slowly in the air - ADAM Magic! Art and Edith enter the room. Adam reacts like a little kid being picked up from pre-school. ADAM (CONT'D) Mommy! Daddy! EDITH (CRYING) My little boy. 116. ADAM Remember the time you walked in on me masturbating?...That was so awkward...What hotel is this? We need to go on more vacations. Katie pops her head out from behind Adam's parents. ADAM (CONT'D) You're here too! You're soooooo awesome... (SING SONG) Katie McRae, Katie McRae, Katie McRae. Mic-Rae, Dr. Awesome Mic- Rae...I'd love to make you pancakes sometime. Suddenly the most excruciating pain runs through Adam's body causing him to scream in agony. ADAM (CONT'D) PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! KATIE Squeeze the morphine trigger! Adam squeezes the trigger. The morphine offers immediate relief. He lays back in total bliss, and then... FADE OUT TO WHITE LIGHT. EXT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY SUPER: NOVEMBER A door bell. A hand reaches out. A finger on that hand pushes the door bell. The other hand holds a bouquet of flowers. The hand belongs to Mitch's wife, MARGARET (80). She stands on the porch of a small beach bungalow. The front door opens. Margaret looks straight ahead. Nothing. She then looks down, startled by Adam in a wheelchair. MARGARET (STARTLED) Oh, hello, I didn't see you, ah down there. There's a glow in Adam's face - he looks younger and more jovial than we've ever seen. 117. ADAM You must be Margaret. MARGARET Yes, I'm looking for Adam Schwartz. ADAM That's me. MARGARET (face lights up) You're Adam? The way Mitch described you, I always assumed you to be much older. About 50 years older. But, you're just a baby... Adam blushes. ADAM I'm so glad you could make it. (SOLEMN) I'm really sorry about Mitch. MARGARET Me too. ADAM Please come inside. You're just in time. Adam leads Margaret inside, past a dozen oversized boxes. ADAM (CONT'D) Sorry about the mess. I just moved in...The ocean air is supposed to be good for my recovery. INT. ADAM'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Adam and Margaret enter the living room. Everyone's there: Edith, Art, Katie and Seth. Seth and Katie are playing a video game: DUCK HUNT. Edith sets food on the table. ADAM (TO MARGARET) We're having a Duck Hunt tournament. You play? 118. MARGARET (LAUGHS) Me? Oh I don't know how to play video games. Adam holds up the controller - an old Nintendo Gun. ADAM It's really easy. One button does everything. Edith chimes in from across the room. EDITH This food's not going to eat itself. Everyone makes their way to the table. Visibly weak, Adam slowly lifts himself out of the wheelchair. He yelps in pain. Katie starts to help when Seth intervenes. SETH I got it. Seth grabs hold of Adam, and with his help, Adam takes a small step and then lowers himself into his seat at the table. Katie places a pillow behind Adam's back. Adam takes Katie's hand, she looks down at him, they exchange a smile. Adam notices and open window. ADAM (TO SETH) You mind? Seth ignores Adam as he fills both their plates with food. ADAM (CONT'D) Please. I think there's a red tide or something. My eyes are all itchy. It feels like someone is rubbing sandpaper on my corneas. SETH (as he serves Adam) Nope. You don't have cancer anymore. No more special treatment. ADAM I am still in remission. 119. EDITH You gonna spend the rest of your life complaining? ADAM (PROUD) I like complaining. We FREEZE on the family sitting around the dinner table. We hear the song "That's the Way The World Goes Round" by John Prine as we: FADE TO BLACK. THE END |