diff --git "a/unformated_scripts/Script_Monkeybone.txt" "b/unformated_scripts/Script_Monkeybone.txt" new file mode 100644--- /dev/null +++ "b/unformated_scripts/Script_Monkeybone.txt" @@ -0,0 +1 @@ + MONKEYBONE Written by Sam Hamm based on the comic book "Dark Town" by Kaja Blackley and Vanessa Chong SEVENTH DRAFT 3 FEBRUARY 1999FADE IN:MAIN CREDITS ROLLover BLACK SCREEN, with PORTENTOUS SPOOKY MUSIC underneath. Just as themusic reaches its crescendo, we hear a simian SCREECH.A BUCK-TOOTHED CARTOON MONKEY swings past on a vine. TITLE WIPES IN withhim: MONKEYBONE(tm) in "FREUD CHICKEN!"TIGHT CLOSEUP - STANLEY (ANIMATED)A POCKETWATCH swings back and forth in F.G. Gaping at it is a goofy,bespectacled CARTOON CHARACTER, sucking his thumb as his EYES move backand forth. After a moment, the LEFT EYE freezes in place - but the righteye keeps going back and forth with the watch. SHRINK'S VOICE (o.s.) Back, Stanley...you're going back...back to when it all began. Are you going back yet? Come on, get back, ve haven't got all day.Now BOTH EYES are locked in place. The patient is hypnotized.INT. SCHOOLROOM - DAY (ANIMATED)A squat, lumpy TEACHER, MISS HUDLAPP, is straining to erase theGettysburg Address, which is written along the very top of theblackboard. There's an obtrusive, rhythmic BANGING noice in B.G. STANLEY (V.O.) It was third grade. The teacher was Miss Hudlapp. She was kinda squat and lumpy - she smelled funny - but she was kind. MISS HUDLAPP CLASS! (turning around suddenly) How many times have I told you? In this class we do not pound tenpenny nails into Stanley's head!REVERSE ANGLE - ON STANLEYHapless ten-year-old STANLEY, still goofy and bespectacled, in hisfront-row desk. NAILS stick out of his head. The FOUR MEAN KIDS poisedaround him lower their hammers and return to their seats, grumbling.A dreamy SMILE crosses STANLEY's face as he gazes at MISS HUDLAPP. STANLEY (V.O.) You know how some teachers have those, kind of, flaps on their arms - those big sacks of limp flab that like, dangle?As MISS HUDLAPP pulls her sweater off, TWO MASSIVE ARM-FLAPS - fiftygallons of flab apiece - SPILL OUT and SMACK INTO THE FLOOR.MISS HUDDLAPP claps two erasers together, kicking up a cloud of dust.Young STANLEY watches, transfixed by her massive ARM FLAPS. We TRACK INon the gigantic ARM FLAPS as they swing hypnotically back and forth,with a loud SLAP each time they collide. STANLEY (V.O.) It sounds weird...but for some reason, as I watched those big old flaps of hers, I began to feel...well...oddly...Now we TRACK IN on the mesmerized STANLEY. A SONG comes up underneath:Donna Summer, "I FEEL LOVE." STANLEY (V.O.) ...aroused. (beat) And then the horror began.DOINK! STANLEY looks down at his LAP in horror. The boys and girlsaround him are pointing and tittering.Grimacing in embarrassment, he discreetly places a heavy TEXTBOOK ontohis lap, suppressing the bulge in his pants. But SPROING!! - the BOOKgoes flying across the room. The BULGE is fighting back!The kids DUCK AND COVER beneath their desks as STANLEY slams a STACK oftextbooks onto his lap. It's no use - the WHOLE STACK goes flying, andBOOKS come raining down on the entire class! Now MISS HUDLAPP is staringdirectly at him... MISS HUDLAPP Young man. What's that in your lap?She marches toward him. STANLEY pulls his BACKPACK over his lap. STANLEY (V.O.) It was useless. Like putting a baseball cap on the Washington Monument. And then...all at once ...there he was.The BACKPACK bucks and wriggles, as if something inside is trying to GETOUT. And then - with a flourish of rousing disco strings - IT DOES! STANLEY (V.O.) Monkeybone!!The libidinous cartoon monkey BURSTS OUT of the backpack, POINTS at MISSHUDLAPP - and announces, in his Barry White baritone: MONKEYBONE Oooo-oo-ooh, baby. I love your way.KC and the SUNSHINE BAND comes up underneath as MONKEYBONE DANCES to thefront of the class. He grabs MISS HUDLAPP by the hands and beginsdancing The Bump with her ARM FLAPS. Butt left, WHAP. Butt right, WHAP.The KIDS are bug-eyed - agog. With each WHAP their little heads turnback and forth as if they're watching a nude tennis match.INT. SCREENING ROOM - ON AUDIENCE (LIVE-ACTION)A roomful of LIVE HUMANS watching the cartoon, heads turning in syncwith the kids onscreen. TV-INDUSTRY HIPSTERS, AD EXECS, MANUFACTURER'SREPS...they're all guests at this sneak preview of the Monkeybone show,and they're LAUGHING UPROARIOUSLY.In the midst of the crowd is a handsome young couple: JULIE McELROY andSTU MILEY. JULIE's a research scientist, brainy, professional,abnormally well-adjusted - and pretty enough that she'd be intimidatingif it weren't for a prominent goofy streak.STU is the one guy in the auditorium who isn't laughing at the cartoonon the screen. In fact, he's solemn as a judge - peering nervouslyaround to see how the rest of the audience is responding.Why? Because he's the cartoonist who created the characters on screen.In his looks (gangly, disheveled) and manner (sardonic, self-deprecating), he's the obvious model for the character of STANLEY.INT. CLASSROOM (ANIMATED)As the monkey dance continues, we ZOOM IN on the mortified face ofLITTLE STANLEY. His eyes begin doing the familiar HYPNO-SWIRL...INT. SHRINK'S OFFICE (ANIMATED)A CUCKOO pops out of a wall clock. ADULT STANLEY'S THUMB pops out of hismouth. He awakens from his trance in a cold sweat. STANLEY How about it, Doc? Can you help me? SHRINK Not overnight. These imaginary monkey cases take time. I vould estimate...roughly...On the desk is a CATALOGUE, open to a two-page spread depicting a 40-foot CABIN CRUISER. "NEW FOR SUMMER! ONLY $229,999.95!" With his freehand, the SHRINK is working a CALCULATOR... SHRINK Twelve years and three months ought to do it.The SHRINK hustles STANLEY to the door and shakes his hand. STANLEY One question, doc - what did you mean when you said "imaginary"? SHRINK All in good time, my boy. All in good time.The SHRINK shoves STANLEY out and slams the door behind him. Two beats.Then he doubles over, WEEPING with LAUGHTER. SHRINK Vot a crackpot! Monkey on ze back - HAH!! ROLL OUT ZE WACKY WAGON!!Now he notices a BACKPACK, which STANLEY has left on the couch. ItTWITCHES slightly - of its own free will. VOICE IN BACKPACK Imaginary, huh? You quack.EXT. SHRINK'S BUILDING (ANIMATED)A WINDOW shatters. The SHRINK comes hurtling out. MONKEYBONE STRADDLESHIM like Slim Pickens riding an H-bomb, hootin' and hollerin' all theway down to the street.SPLAT! A gob of gore hits STANLEY in the face as he exits the building.He kneels on the sidewalk - finding a PIPE and a GOATEE. STANLEY Aw, Monkeybone! At this rate I'll never find a good shrink. MONKEYBONE Those guys are a waste of money! I'll show you how to stop sucking your thumb...MONKEYBONE sticks his thumb in his butt as he and STANLEY toddle offinto the sunset.INT. SCREENING ROOM - THAT MOMENTSTANDING O from the crowd as the cartoon ends and the lights come up.HERB, an all-purpose sidekick type, appears at the podium: HERB Thank you...that's our pilot...the good news is, Comedy Channel has just picked us up with an order for six new episodes!HERB leads a round of APPLAUSE. JULIE nudges STU - the only guy in theroom who's still in his seat. HERB Now, let's give it up for the guy who started it all. Creator of America's most disturbed comic strip...the man behind the monkey...Mister Stu Miley!A SPOTLIGHT hits him, and he STANDS to tumultuous applause. He looksgenuinely stunned. He can't believe it's happening.JULIE surreptitiously PINCHES him on the bottom, giving him a start. SheWINKS at him. He shoots her a small private smile - then turns to WAVEat the adoring crowd.INT. LOBBY - HALF-HOUR LATER - NIGHTSTU working his way through a crowd of well-wishers and FANS. STU I don't actually draw all the animation, no. We have sweatshop workers who couldn't get jobs at Nike doing that.A beautiful, heavily-pierced FEMALE FAN hands STU a marker. BEAUTIFUL FAN Mr. Miley, would you draw Monkeybone on my belly? As a guide? STU Guide...? BEAUTIFUL FAN For my tattoo artist?She exposes her taut midriff. STU thinks for a moment, then goes towork. When he's done, Monkeybone appears to be climbing out of thegirl's pants and WAVING to her. Nearby FANS APPLAUD. BEAUTIFUL FAN Wait! You have to draw the rest of him -She begins unbuckling her belt so STU will have enough room to drawMonkeybone's bottom half. STU demurs... STU I - I have to, uh, check in with my doctor. DO- OCCCC!!He wanders across the room, finds JULIE deep in conversation with abunch of other GUESTS, and pulls her aside. STU Hey, Doc. Come here. There's something really cool I want to show you.He grabs her by the sleeve, pulls her across the floor to -INT. ALCOVE - OFF LOBBY - CONTINUOUSThere's nothing "cool" about it - it's a stairway landing, with metalfire doors that open onto the parking lot outside. STU See these doors? The cool thing is, you go out ...they close...you can't get back in!He opens one door and holds it for JULIE. JULIE You want to leave? But Stu - you're a big hit! Everyone loves you! STU They don't love me. They love Monkeybone. JULIE It was you who got the standing O. It was you drawing on the belly over there... STU That was especially Monkeybone. Come on, Doc, I don't want to be stuck here with this bunch of media creeps. I just want to be us. Home. Alone! (conspiratorially) I have something I have to give you. JULIE Can't you give it to me later? STU Yeah, I could, but the thing is, if later got here sooner, it would be...better.He gives up trying to explain...pulls her close and kisses her. For amoment they completely forget about the party in the next room.Then HERB appears behind them, trying to catch STU's eye as he waits forthe clinch to break up. Finally he pries them apart: HERB Sorry, Julie - won't be a minute. Now Stu - I know you don't like the idea, but you really ought to talk to these guys - STU Julie and I - we were just gonna go...But before STU knows what's hit him, HERB is leading him back to -INT. LOBBY - THAT MOMENT - CONTINUOUS HERB Go? There's a potload of money here, pal. You got three major toy companies...you got the guys from Burger God over here... STU Burger God. The ones that found the pig hair in the french fries? HERB Never proven. They're ready to pop for a pre- emptive endorsement. Kids love Burger God -The MERCHANDISERS shoot STU an expectant wave. STU waves back and turnsin the opposite direction. HERB grabs him by the sleeve. STU Herb, it's too much. It's all out of hand. HERB Do you know what kind of opportunity you have here? You gotta strike. I'm talking mansions. Lamborghinis. Champagne for mouthwash when you brush your teeth! STU I don't want to be rich. It's just a trap! HERB Being rich is not a trap. That is a dirty lie perpetuated by rich people to keep the failures from killing them. STU Herb. I have to go. HERB Why? STU I got the ring. (beat) Tonight's the night, Herb. Tonight's the night.He nods toward JULIE, who's at the open bar grabbing two glasses ofpunch. HERB realizes a proposal is in the works. HERB Oh my God...you're proposing? STU My life was totally crappy, Herb, and she... fixed it. She made me happy. Which I'd never been. She loves me the way I am - right now. (beat) I don't want everything to change. I don't want her saying yes to some big success. I just want her saying yes to me. HERB ...In some weird way I respect that.JULIE's over by the punchbowl. She sees the two boys staring at herconspiratorially - MAKES A FACE at them as she waves back. HERB Okay then. If I get you out of here - you pop the question - tonight. Or else. Get me?STU nods gravely.EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHTSTU, JULIE, and HERB in the parking lot. A small safari of FLUNKIES isloading enormous boxes full of MONKEYBONE JUNK into STU's beat-up car -stuffed dolls, action figures, board games, lunchboxes, beach towels,team jackets and more! STU groans at the sight of it... HERB They're just prototypes...take 'em home and look at 'em before you say no... (scanning the streets) If you could just hold on a minute or two, we're expecting a couple more trucks.STU GLOWERS at HERB as he opens the car door for JULIE. HERB Okay, okay! You're a beautiful couple. Go.INT. CAR - NIGHT - MOVINGSTU backs out of his space. The small parking lot is full of DELIVERYTRUCKS from would-be merchandisers - all too large for the spacesthey're parked in. STU has to keep backing up because the exit lanes areblocked. It's like negotiating a labyrinth. STU Look at this! He won't let us leave! JULIE Who? STU The monkey!! He's everywhere! He'll take over both our lives if we let him. JULIE Stu - stop it. That monkey is good luck. You thought him up, and everybody loves him, and he's probably going to make you rich. So relax! Enjoy it! STU I'm trying. It's weird, that's all. I never had any good luck, until I met you...what if it's all just another bad dream? JULIE What's the "bad" part? STU I might wake up. JULIE (laughing; taking his hand) If you do, I'll be right there beside you. So face it. You're just going to have to be happy! STU I am happy. It just so happens this is the happiest night of my life.He says it so solemnly that she cracks up. After a moment he joins in.EXT. PARKING LOT - THAT MOMENT - NIGHTA PLASTIC BANNER stretches between two poles on either side of the entryto the lot. It shows MONKEYBONE in a typical languorous pose: It's His World. We Just Live in It! MONKEYBONE Sunday Nights This FallTWO GUYS on EXTENSION LADDERS are taking the sign down as STU'S CARidles at the exit below. There's a strong wind tonight, and one guyLOSES HOLD of his end of the banner just as he gets it detached...INT. CAR - THAT MOMENT - NIGHTAs STU pulls into the intersection he sees a DELIVERY TRUCK approachingin the opposite lane, with a cardboard likeness of MONKEYBONE mountedatop the cab. He chuckles... STU That damn monkey is everywh--Suddenly his view of the street DISAPPEARS. The MONKEYBONE BANNER hasfallen DIRECTLY ACROSS HIS WINDSHIELD, like a huge SHROUD. All he cansee is a great, grinning MONKEY FACE!!JULIE SCREAMS. STU SCREAMS. Unable to see, he slams on the brakes andJERKS THE WHEEL RIGHT.Off screen: HORNS BLARING. TIRES SQUEALING. The horrible crunch of METALON METAL.But Stu's car comes to a halt untouched. After a moment he opens hiseyes...and JULIE opens hers... STU Did we just - hit something? JULIE I don't think so. STU Are you okay??She thinks it over, nods. STU takes a moment to catch his breath, thenopens the door gingerly. A HORN BLARES as a car speeds past in theopposite lane, nearly taking STU's door off. He jumps back inside,waits, opens the door again...EXT. INTERSECTION - THAT MOMENTHis eyes widen in horror as he steps out to survey the scene. Theasphalt is strewn with MONKEYBONE MERCHANDISE - stuffed dolls, games,lunchboxes. SKID MARKS show where the TRUCK which was carrying all thisSWERVED......and slammed into the rear of a BUICK REGAL, pinning it up against aTELEPHONE POLE. STU races up to the Buick. Its front end is mashed uplike an accordion, but the occupants - a couple of TEENAGERS dressed forthe prom - seem to be okay. STU Hey! Are you guys all right in there? TEENAGE GIRL We're fine. STU That stupid monkey banner! It fell on my windshield - it practically killed us all! (to JULIE) God, Julie, if anything had happened to you - JULIE I'm fine, baby. We're all okay. We were lucky. STU I'd better go report this...He spots a PHONE BOOTH and starts across the street. On the way there heplucks a STUFFED MONKEYBONE DOLL off the pavement and CHOKES IT withboth hands.JULIE stays behind with the prom kids. The TEENAGE BOY in his tux isglassy-eyed, miserable beyond description. JULIE Dad's car?The BOY begins to SOB softly. JULIE nods in sympathy.Then: EVERYONE WINCES. The air is full of a horrible CREAKING noise,like nails on a blackboard... TEENAGE GIRL What was that? Did you hear that?The horrible CREAKING NOISE continues. JULIE turns. Behind her, theTELEPHONE POLE that the car slammed into is beginning to TEETER. Then itTOPPLES. Directly toward... JULIE STU!!ON STU - IN PHONE BOOTHHe sees JULIE running toward him and holds up a single finger. STU Operator? I want to report an accident.Finally he glances up - just in time to see the TELEPHONE POLE comingdown toward the phone booth like a gigantic sledgehammer. His eyeswiden. The STUFFED MONKEYBONE slips from his grasp...CLOSEUP - MONKEYBONEA HORRIBLE CRASH. SCREAMS. CAMERA ZEROES IN on the MONKEYBONE DOLL whichSTU was holding, surrounded by broken glass, its face twisted into aninsane, almost macabre grin.The screen fades to PITCH BLACK for a few seconds...until we hear aDISTANT SIREN, and an IMAGE comes swimming into focus...STU'S POV: ON JULIEHe's in the back of an ambulance, with PARAMEDICS all around him,working feverishly. JULIE hovers above him, holding his hand. JULIE Stu? I'm here, baby. It's me. It's Julie. I love you. You're gonna be okay, baby, I promise -All at once he seems to be RECEDING from JULIE and the others - as ifSINKING THROUGH the bottom of the stretcher, and BEYOND - through thefloor of the ambulance! JULIE's voice grows weaker, more distant: JULIE (V.O.) I'm here, baby. I won't leave you...And then all trace of the ambulance is gone, and he's floating downthrough some strange LIMBO, surrounded by the silhouettes of billowingSHROUDS, with the sound of BIRDS CALLING all around him...An AWFUL MECHANICAL RATCHETING NOISE fills the soundtrack. STU's eyesclose - and when they reopen, he finds himself in:EXT. TROLLEY - MOVINGA tiny ROLLER-COASTER CAR descends from dense clouds down the length ofan impossibly long and rickety METAL TRACK. The track leads through avast black VOID......to a tiny ISLAND floating in the darkness...an island that looks notunlike a disembodied FIST.And, as the car draws closer, the fist begins to OPEN - tulip-like -turning into a HAND, with a full-sized TOWN nestled in its palm! In thetown, CARNIVAL LIGHTS begin to glitter. MUSIC begins to tinkle...EXT. PLATFORM - NIGHTThe car - a one-passenger job with a CARTOON ANIMAL FACE on its prow -stops with a lurch. STU steps out onto a fog-shrouded TRAIN STATIONPLATFORM. Before he knows it, the little car DEPARTS behind him. He'sstranded - alone. STU Hello? Anybody? - Am I dead? (beat) PLEASE. I'D LIKE TO KNOW IF I'M DEAD.Off in the fog is a big wheeled CART with the sign: "PSYCHOLOGICALBAGGAGE CLAIM." There STU finds two SUITCASES and a BACKPACK. Heexamines the TAGS. They all belong to him!He sits on the edge of the cart, opens a SUITCASE, and pulls out... - A bagged copy of Marvel Comics' Conan the Barbarian #1; - An 8mm reel of highlights from Ray Harryhausen's Jason and the Argonauts, with swordfighting skeletons on the box cover; - A SPIRAL NOTEBOOK, its cover labelled "STU M. - GEOGRAPHY," its inside pages covered with drawings of dinosaurs and airplanes; - Transparent plastic models of "THE VISIBLE MAN" and his mate, "THE VISIBLE WOMAN," with a couple of spare organs that young STU never quite found a place for; - A vinyl LP of "BREAD'S GREATEST HITS," which STU quickly slips back into the suitcase lest anyone see it.As he gathers his bags, he hears odd SQUEAKS and CHITTERING... RACCOON (o.s.) Carry your bags, mister?A STRANGE FURRY CREATURE pops out from beneath the platform and yanks onSTU's pants leg. It looks like a raccoon, but it's FLAT - an animatedpelt. Before STU has time to let out a yell, a FLAT SNAKESKIN comesslithering out from beneath the baggage cart... SNAKE Cigars, mister? Genuine Coobans!STU looks down and sees a SQUASHED RABBIT humping his leg. RABBIT Wanna meet my sister?These bordertown types are known as ROADKILL, and they're sporting thetire tracks to prove it. STU SCREAMS, shakes them off, and RUNS.EXT. DARK TOWN GATES - NIGHTA long stone STAIRWAY leads to decorative wrought-iron GATES. SHADOWYCARVED SPHINXES sit on either side. As STU races up the steps, asputtering NEON SIGN comes to life overhead: D RK TOWNA FANFARE BLOWS as the creaky gates begin to part. A SPOTLIGHT hits theSPHINXES - and they COME TO LIFE! They rise up on their hind legs, puton boater hats. One of them blows a note on a kazoo... SINGING SPHINXES Weeee...welcome you to Dark Town And while you're in your coma This odd amusement park-town Will be your Home Sweet Homa -STU bolts THROUGH THE GATES, with the ROADKILL TRIO right on his heels.The indignant SPHINXES exchange a look of outrage.EXT. DARK TOWN - MIDWAY - NIGHTIt's a carny town, a tourist trap, seedy and nightmarish. Despite thefestive trappings, there's something off about it - an air of neglectand decrepitude - as if they'd tried to turn Alcatraz into Disneyland,and given up halfway through.STU looks back and sees the ROADKILL gaining on him. He spots a smallgroup of OTHER HUMANS... STU Help me. Please. There's animals. They -The humans just YAWN. They're COMA VICTIMS, just like STU. He ditchesone of his SUITCASES as the ROADKILL come after him. VOICE Pony ride, Mister?He turns and spots a helpful-looking fellow in a COWBOY OUTFIT. TheCOWBOY is in fact a CENTAUR - rider and mount rolled into one!The characters who run this place - the BARKERS, TICKET-TAKERS, and RIDEOPERATORS - are all weird HYBRIDS, part human, part ANIMAL. They couldbe the ancient Gods of some primitive culture - reduced to working asstreet entertainers in this ramshackle resort town.STU pinballs down the street, bouncing from one shock to another: - JOE CAMEL, doing community service as a STREET SWEEPER - JOE CAMEL Hey, Mister. Mister! Got a smoke? - a YETI selling SNO-CONES from a cart outside the MORPHEUM THEATRE. The marquee reads: LIVE! NIGHTMARES! LIVE! First-Run - Continuous Performances - Popular Prices Rated NR-H - Not Recommended for Humans - A CYCLOPS working as a barker at the Penny Arcade; - A VIDEO RENTAL OUTLET - "BAD DREAMS VIDEO," offering your favorite nightmares, cult and classic, three nights for $2.95. A THREE-HEADED DEVIL emerges from the shop carrying a sackful of videos - and recognizes STU, much to his horror. HEAD #1 Hey, aren't you Stu Miley? HEAD #2 We're big fans. HEAD #3 Could we have your autograph?Reduced to babbling hysteria, STU ducks into the nearest building. Abovethe door, an ANIMATED NEON SIGN shows a happy boozer lifting his martiniglass, then falling over flat on his back, at which point his eyes arereplaced by the traditional cartoon X's. This is the COMA BAR.INT. COMA BAR - A MOMENT LATER - NIGHTSTU bursts in, flattens himself against the wall as the ROADKILL skitterpast outside. He's given them the slip. He looks around.The bar's a weird melange of styles. COMA VICTIMS ride around inwheelchairs refurbished as BUMPER CARS, drinking cocktails from IVbottler. A four-armed ELEPHANT GOD is at the Mighty Wurlitzer while aMERMAID VOCALIST in a half-shell belts out the wistful lyrics of JohnnyMercer's "DREAM." And over at the BAR... BULL (o.s.) New in town, huh? What're you drinking?Out of breath, STU edges toward the bar as the BARTENDER, BULL, turnsaway to grab a fresh glass. STU Chasing me - animals - horrible - BULL Animals? What kind of animals?STU GAGS. BULL is a full-fledged MINOTAUR, body of a man, head of aBULL. His features are CUBIST - weirdly squashed over to one side. BULL Yeah, I know - Picasso. Guernica, right? That's what everybody says - although personally, I don't see the resemblance. What are you drinking? STU Uhh - martini? BULL Olive or eyeball? STU Olive. - Where exactly am I? BULL Dark Town. Land of nightmares. I'm Bull. STU Stu Miley. BULL Yeah, I've seen a few of your dreams. You're quite a celebrity down here.STU gives him a cockeyed look. BULL points to a MONITOR mounted over thebar, on which a panicked man in pajamas is trying to run barefootthrough a great sticky SEA OF MOLASSES. BULL I told you, it's the land of nightmares. Same on every channel...all the stuff people dream, after they have the extra anchovies.He changes channels with a remote. Now we see a guy falling throughmidair, arms and legs flailing, falling, falling, falling... STU Jeez, it all looks like bad late-night cable. BULL Sad commentary, huh?Now a small muffled VOICE speaks from the area of STU'S BACKPACK: DISEMBODIED VOICE (o.s.) "Bull," huh? That's cute. What's your last name - "Shit"?? BULL (turning angrily to STU) I beg your pardon? STU I didn't say anything. VOICE (o.s.) Nice face. Lemme guess. You were in a bullfight ...with a Mack Truck!!STU claps both hands over his mouth to prove he's not the one talking.BULL glowers at him, snorting STEAM out of both nostrils. STU I was, uh, just getting ready to leave... BULL Yo, Jumbo. We got us some kind of ventriloquist here.The ELEPHANT GOD from the Wurlitzer organ comes lumbering over. VOICE (o.s.) Well, hello, sailor. Get a lot of dates with that ding-dong on your face??BULL and JUMBO rear back to PUNCH STU'S LIGHTS OUT. He's saying hisprayers when his BACKPACK begins to BULGE and QUIVER - and a SMALL FURRYBEAST pops out, CACKLING HIS HEAD OFF!! MONKEYBONE Just kiddin', folks! Drinks for everybody - (pointing at STU) On him!! HIYA, BOSS!!BULL and JUMBO back off, STUNNED. The monkey grabs STU'S FACE and plantsa big wet SMOOCH right on his NOSE. STU SCREAMS. CUT TO:INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - THAT MOMENT - NIGHTTIGHT ON an EEG monitor. There's a sudden BLIP on the readout. NURSE Just a spike, ma'am. It happens. It's perfectly natural with coma patients. JULIE I'm a doctor too. I know this man's brain -JULIE strokes STU's limp hand. He's COMATOSE, cocooned in a tangle ofwires and tubes. His head and shoulders are heavily bandaged. He'shooked up to as much machinery as you can cram into one room. DOCTOR Go home, Doctor. Rest. Come back when you can do us some good.INT. HOSPITAL - WAITING ROOM - NIGHTDead on her feet, JULIE stumbles toward the exit. As she's leaving shepasses the WAITING ROOM - WOMAN'S VOICE Julie?She turns and sees an older colleague from work - ALICE - waiting in thedoorway. Hovering right behind ALICE is HERB. And behind him -It appears that almost everyone in the waiting room is a friend of JULIEand STU's. Disheveled and groggy, they rouse themselves and make theirway over to JULIE's side. She's overcome with emotion.INT. STU & JULIE'S HOUSE - ENTRY - NIGHTThe sound of the key in the lock is met by INSANE BARKING. JULIE andALICE enter and are met by BUSTER, the pet basset - jumping and yippinglike crazy after 24 hours without food or human company. ALICE Now don't pick a fight. I'm staying over. JULIE Oh, poor Buster. He hasn't been fed in a day and a half. Let me get some food...ALICE kneels to play with the dog. She hears a sudden GASP from thekitchen. JULIE is standing by the open refrigerator, wearing anabsolutely stricken expression...INT. KITCHEN - THAT MOMENT - NIGHTALICE finds JULIE holding a bottle of champagne - Veuve Clicquot LaGrande Dame 1989 - all wrapped up in a bow and ribbon. ALICE Special occasion? JULIE I don't know. I guess it was...She bursts into tears. ALICE sits her down at the kitchen table andtakes the champagne from her. ALICE Don't get all poignant. We're keeping this bottle on ice. When he comes around you're going to need it.INT. BATHROOM - LATER - NIGHTA limp JULIE soaking in a steamy tub, one arm dangling over the side. Onthe vanity is a framed PHOTO STRIP, four poses for a dollar. In thefirst three, STU and JULIE are making outrageously goony faces. In thefourth, they imitate the stern-faced farm couple from American Gothic.She gazes at it for a long, long time. Eventually she smiles.INT. SECOND BEDROOM/STUDIO - NIGHTOPEN on two PHOTOS, mounted in a single frame. On the left, BUSTERKEATON, droopy-eyed, in his familiar porkpie hat and vest. On the right,a Photoshopped image of BUSTER THE BASSETT HOUND, in the same pose, alsowearing Keaton's hat and vest.These photos are on the wall of the cramped room which serves as STU'sstudio and JULIE's office. MONKEYBONE STRIPS are scattered across thedrafting table. ALICE is making up the sofa as a guest bed.As she's hanging her coat in the closet she comes across an ACRYLICCANVAS in the back, stashed behind a battered portfolio and a box fullof spiral-bound sketchbooks. She pulls it out. She's obviously disturbedby it, but she can't tear her eyes away...She's still gaping at the painting when JULIE enters in a terryclothrobe. ALICE Who did this? JULIE Stu. That was right about the time we met. ALICE When he first came in to the sleep lab? JULIE Yeah...before your time.The canvas depicts a group of SURGEONS with the faces of wolves. They'restanding over a HUMAN PATIENT, replacing his internal organs withMACHINE PARTS. The style is at once cartoony and unsettling. ALICE Jesus, honey...he always joked about you curing him, but I never realized what you cured him from. JULIE He hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in years. The nightmares would wake him up, and he'd start right in painting... (chuckling) That boy looked like pluperfect hell.ALICE's gaze goes from the nightmare paintings to the MONKEYBONE stripstacked up over the drafting table. ALICE How do you get from here - to there? JULIE Switch hands. ALICE What? JULIE I'm serious. It was bicameral disjunction - right brain and left brain out of balance. He was a rightie, so I made him switch the pencil to his left hand. Just to see what'd come out.A smile comes to JULIE's face. She settles in on the floor beside ALICEand digs through the various portfolios until she comes up with aquickie CARTOON on the back of a napkin - the prototype for... ALICE Monkeybone? JULIE Left-handed, he was funny. He'd been doing all this scary, intense work...then he found out he could draw this stuff, and make me laugh, and he liked that. (shrugging) And then the nightmares just...stopped. ALICE Wow - two guys in the same brain. - Which one did you fall in love with?JULIE smiles at the cartoon. She isn't telling. JULIE I've put a ton of work into that boy, Alice. I am not going to let him get away from me.INT. ICU - MORNINGJULIE, in her white lab coat, wanders through Intensive Care and finds aWOMAN hunched over STU's bed, BAWLING HER EYES OUT. JULIE Kimmy...?KIMMY looks up. She's crying so much she can barely recognize JULIE. KIMMY Oh, Julie...my poor Stu...my poor baby brother... JULIE When'd you get in? KIMMY An hour ago. (gathering herself) I tried to prepare myself, but I didn't know he would be like, like this. I can't even bear to look at him... How about you? You're okay? JULIE I'm fine, Kimmy. Fine. KIMMY I had so much I always wanted to say to him. At least he had a chance to give you the ring. JULIE The ring... KIMMY Grandmama's ring. The engagement ring. He asked me to send it to him -JULIE turns to look at STU in the bed. The certain knowledge that he wasabout to propose is like a knife in her heart. KIMMY feels bad as well,having let the cat out of the bag, but before they can hash it out - VOICE FROM BEHIND Mrs. Brewster? Julie? I'm Dr. Edelstein.Cheery DR. EDELSTEIN enters. He shakes hands with the women, then checksSTU's readouts, making notations on his clipboard. DR. EDELSTEIN Vital signs have stabilized. That's good. KIMMY Can you give us a realistic sense of my brother's chances? DR. EDELSTEIN He's held on this far. We can't do much but wait and see. KIMMY But these...machines are what's keeping him alive, is that right?This remark sends a shiver down JULIE's spine, but she keeps silent. DR. EDELSTEIN At the moment, yes. KIMMY Can you give me a realistic idea...of how long this is going to last? DR. EDELSTEIN Comas are unpredictable. He could wake up today, tomorrow, a month from now... KIMMY Honey, I have to clarify this. The thing is, Dr. Edelstein, my brother has an absolute horror of doctors - hospitals - needles - all of it - JULIE Kimmy, he doesn't know what's going on. He doesn't even know he's in a - KIMMY Please, Julie. This is not easy for me. Our father took a long time to die. A long time. It just about killed us all. And Stu and I made a pact that when our time came - we wouldn't let it drag out. JULIE It's too soon even to - talk about that! KIMMY Give me a date, Doctor. DR. EDELSTEIN Three months. (pause) There's always some brain damage. But at three months...the chances of coming back shrink dramatically with every day. KIMMY I want him to have every chance, Doctor. We can certainly give it...three months.No one says anything. But both women look at STU, and then at eachother, and everyone knows exactly where everyone else stands. JULIE hasa sinking feeling that STU is working on a 3-month deadline. DISSOLVE TO:INSERT - TELEVISION SCREENA beauty pageant - shapely INGENUES in EVENING GOWNS being introduced byan EMCEE with enormous teeth. EMCEE And now the last of our five finalists...Miss Michigan...GEORGE T. WILLOUGHBY!GEORGE is a pudgy shmoe with a small pencil mustache who's wearingglasses, a necktie, and NOTHING ELSE. He steps forward, holding abriefcase in front of his crotch, looking EXTREMELY MORTIFIED. EMCEE And now George will give us his analysis of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle as it pertains to third-world economics!!CAMERA PULLS BACK - and we realize we're in:INT. COMA BAR - NIGHTwhere BULL the BARTENDER and a number of PATRONS are watching GEORGE'snightmare on the TV mounted over the bar.Onscreen, NUDE GEORGE is sweating bullets. He has no idea what to say,and the audience is beginning to laugh at him. In a desperate, feebleattempt to buy time...he begins to SING. GEORGE I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair!In fact he goes into a little softshoe, keeping the briefcase poisedover his crotch. Unfortunately, THE CASE POPS OPEN, dumping frillyLINGERIE all over the stage. The weeping GEORGE must crawl around on allfours to retrieve it...By now the onlookers at the bar are CRACKING UP. All except one - thelonely, disconsolate fellow on the last stool, nursing a martini - STU. BULL Hey, Stu, why so glum? Everybody loves a good humiliation nightmare. STU Three months, Bull. Three months tonight. Three months since the accident - and I'm no closer to going home than I was then. BULL Aw, buck up. Have another 'tini. STU I'm sick of martinis. I'm sick of the waiting, and the carnival rides, and watching people's nightmares. And of course, I need not add -He GRIMACES at MONKEYBONE, who's stretched out atop the mighty Wurlitzerat the other end of the room. The MERMAID CHANTEUSE is singing aDietrich number, "The Laziest Gal in Town" - or at least trying to,because MONKEYBONE is caterwauling behind her. By the time she gets tothe grand finale, he's practically BAYING AT THE MOON.Pissed off, she SHAKES her FIST at MONKEYBONE and pulls the lid of herclamshell SHUT. This suits MONKEYBONE just fine, as it leaves him alonein the spotlight to soak up what little applause there is. MONKEYBONE Thank you, thank you for that very modest response. I know you're all in comas, but still. And now...it's dedication time!He gestures to JUMBO, the elephant organist, who begins to vamp. MONKEYBONE We've got a special dedication tonight. This one's from my ever-lovin' boss, Mr. Stu Mopey - I mean Miley - and we're sendin' it up to a very special lady in the land of the living. Yes, I do mean Julie - the beautiful Miss Julie - who, if she has a brain in her head, is shacked up right now with some good-lookin' doc she met in the E.R.! (pointing at STU) JUST KIDDING, BUDDY! Because if we know anything about Miss Julie, we know she is faithful, loyal, and true. Even if her boyfriend is an eggplant. Which is why we're dedicating...this very special tune...to her. Jumbo?JUMBO's tasteful vamping gives way to a RAUNCHY ROCK BEAT - andMONKEYBONE begins STRUTTING across the top of the piano, bumping andgrinding and shaking his booty to the tune of - MONKEYBONE MAH baby does the Hanky-Panky! UNHH! MAH baby does the Hanky-Panky! UNHH!MONKEYBONE sings the same poignant line over and over until STU comesstorming over from the bar and YANKS HIM off the Wurlitzer by the scruffof his scrawny NECK.A trouper to the end, MONKEYBONE WAVES at the crowd even as STU dragshim off to an empty table in the farthest corner of the room. STU You have humiliated me in public for the last time. MONKEYBONE I doubt that. Besides, I can't help myself. I'm just a figment of your imagination. STU Then you can learn to act normally. I had to! MONKEYBONE Aw, come on. You know you love me. You're a masochistic pain freak. You gotta love me. STU I am not. And I don't gotta.MONKEYBONE waves and winks at every female who passes by. STU whacks himupside the head. MONKEYBONE You are too! Mooning over Julie when we could both be gettin' some o' this fine local action. It's not like she's gonna know. Out of town, under five minutes, and in a coma don't count. STU Sorry. The women here aren't my type. Most of them aren't even my species.Cocktail waitress KITTY, a seven-foot cat-faced feline sex bomb, arrivesin her skimpy black dress and shows STU a Cheshire-cat grin. MONKEYBONEreclines, Odalisque-style, on the table. MONKEYBONE Hellooooooooo, Kitty. KITTY Hiya, Stu. Refill on that martini? MONKEYBONE I'd like something with an umbrella in it and a really smutty name. Like a...Sex Behind the Sofa with Your Parents in the Same Room Watching "The Brady Bunch." STU Nothing for him! He's being repressed. KITTY Is something wrong, Stu? You seem so tense. MONKEYBONE Aaah, it's the same as always...poor mope's just wishin' he was me. STU I've been trying to get through to the head guy - the nightmare god - what's his name? KITTY Hypnos? STU Yeah. To see if he could expedite my case. But I wait, and I wait, and...I'm starting to think I'll never see her again.A softie at heart, KITTY sits across from STU and takes his hand. STU I shoulda proposed, Kitty. That way at least she'd know how I feel. That way she'd...wait for me.She leans forward sympathetically. From this particular vantage,MONKEYBONE has an unobstructed view of KITTY's cleavage. And so does STU- although he's not quite as obvious about staring. KITTY She is waiting for you, Stu. I know she is. Guys like you don't come along that often. Believe me, I know.MONKEYBONE slinks over behind STU - up onto his shoulder - and whispersinto his ear: MONKEYBONE My Fellow Americans. I have a dream. Let us boldly go where no man has gone before. STU (trying to ignore him) I'm sorry, Kitty - what were you saying? KITTY I mean it, Stu. You're one in a million.KITTY is holding the cleavage pose for an unnaturally long time. Herfurry tail begins to swing back and forth playfully in the air. It'shypnotic - like a windshield wiper.STU stares at it. MONKEYBONE stares at it. And MONKEYBONE'S TAILresponds by straightening...stiffening...bending upward slightly. STU I'm not so special. I'm just - kind of -STU is suddenly aware of something LONG, RED, and WET unrolling onto hisshoulder. It's a TONGUE...dangling out of MONKEYBONE'S OPEN MOUTH. STUlets out a YOWL OF SHOCK.Blushing bright red, he GRABS THE TONGUE and shoves it manually backinto the monkey mouth whence it came. MONKEYBONE Come on, pal! It was a compliment! You'da done the same if you had the equipment! STU THAT DOES IT! BACK IN THE PACK! MONKEYBONE FORGET IT! NO WAY! I'M NOT GETTING -STU LUNGES at MONKEYBONE - who JUMPS OVER HIM, BOUNDS off the edge ofthe table, and grabs hold of a CHANDELIER. MONKEYBONE I'm reportin' this to my union!! STU What union? MONKEYBONE The sidekicks' union! Me, Tonto, and Robin the Boy Wonder. You top bananas better watch your ass!STU grabs a CHAIR and swings it at the chandelier. MONKEYBONE makes aseries of SUBMARINE NOISES - MONKEYBONE DIVE! DIVE!!- and DIVES - directly between KITTY's breasts into her skimpy blackdress!! STU circles around KITTY, following the undulating monkey-sizedBLOB that's tunnelling around under her dress. Finally MONKEYBONE popsout of the BACK of the dress and NUZZLES KITTY'S EAR: MONKEYBONE I left my phone number in your undies. Try not to lose it in traffic. STU Sorry, Kitty! I'll be right back after I choke my monkey.MONKEYBONE runs under the pool table. STU is giving chase when -suddenly - a DOOR blows open in the chill night wind.EVERYONE IN THE BAR freezes in place.For there, in the doorway, is a looming, ominous figure - the mostdreaded figure in all of Dark Town -- a GRIM REAPER, nine feet tall and swinging a scythe, come to take somehapless coma victim to the land of Death!EERIE WINDS WHISTLE and the shroud FLUTTERS in the night breeze as theREAPER looks from face to face. For a moment he focuses on STU. STUbacks away involuntarily, with a mounting sense of dread...andMONKEYBONE jumps into his arms, clinging to him fearfully.But the REAPER moves on - past each COMA VICTIM in turn - finallySTOPPING in front of a TINY, WIZENED, PRUNELIKE OLD GENT in awheelchair, who looks to be 110 years old at least. MONKEYBONE Him. Whew. About time! REAPER EARL BIEGLER. I'VE COME - EARL Can't hear you, young fellow. Speak up! REAPER EARL BIEGLER, I'VE COME TO GIVE YOU - aw, hell. Here.GASPS OF ANTICIPATION all around the room as the REAPER hands EARL along white ENVELOPE. EARL opens it slowly and removes......an oversized rectangular TICKET...the size of a Hershey bar, made ofSOLID GOLD, with the letter "E" stamped upon it.VARIOUS CHARACTERS around the barroom react, in hushed voices: BULL An E-Ticket! PATRON He got a reprieve. KITTY Good for him! He's gonna wake up!EARL throws his crutches aside, jumps out of his chair, and DANCES AJIG, waving the ticket over his head. STU stares at him with naked envy. STU No. No. Not him. EARL So long, suckers! See you in the funny papers!EARL does an end-zone dance toward the door. One by one, OTHER PATRONSget up from their seats to watch EARL's departure.EXT. COMA BAR - STREETS - NIGHTThe COMA VICTIMS shuffle toward a BIG RIDE across the midway.It's a "TEST YOUR STRENGTH" machine - the kind where you slam down amallet and try to ring the bell. It's surrounded by crocodile moats andstorm fences and electrified barbed wire, and a big sign reading PRIVATE- NO ADMITTANCE.EARL, still jubilant, inserts his E-ticket into a receptacle at theentrance. A DRAWBRIDGE LOWERS, and CAROUSEL MUSIC cranks up, andCARNIVAL LIGHTS blink on, and FIREWORKS rocket into the sky...All around them, faces turn skyward. CLOUDS are parting. An EDDY ofswirling colors is forming DIRECTLY ABOVE the E-ticket ride - and aPINPOINT HOLE opens up at its center.The "TEST YOUR STRENGTH" machine has been outfitted with a SEAT wherethe bell-ringer should be. Once EARL has settled in, a GIANT MECHANICALMAN lifts its enormous mallet......and SLAMS IT DOWN on the lever end of the machine, sending EARLROCKETING UPWARD toward the hole in the sky. DING!! The SEAT hits theBELL, but EARL keeps going - up - up - UP...Then, with a distinct POP, he's gone. Over the rainbow...home. STU He's ninety. He's practically dead already. How come he goes back and I stay here? MONKEYBONE Maybe he wanted to pick out his own casket? STU (turning abruptly) HEY!! HEY, YOU!!STU marches across the street to the GRIM REAPER - who's climbing ontohis WINGED BICYCLE and seems shocked that anyone would want to chat withhim. MONKEYBONE scurries alongside, terrified. STU He got an E-ticket. Where's mine? When do I get to wake up?? MONKEYBONE Stu? Stu? Let's not disturb the nice Reaper. STU I've been stuck down here for months. Somebody had better start paying attention, or I'm gonna - I'm gonna kick ass! MONKEYBONE Let's not kick the nice Reaper's ass.MONKEYBONE practically swoons. But the REAPER just stares at STU: REAPER SORRY, BUD. OFF-DUTY.The REAPER climbs onto his winged bike and PEDALS OFF down the midway.STU lets out a HOWL OF FRUSTRATION. MONKEYBONE Stu? Stu? Let's calm down, talk things over. How about some comedy relief? Okay. Brontosaurus walks into a gay bar...STU BOOTS MONKEYBONE aside. They're at a GAME STALL manned by Elsie theCow - the one where you throw baseballs at milk bottles. STU picks up abaseball and HURLS IT at the departing REAPER.The ball hits the REAPER smack on the head, knocking him off his bike! STU/MONKEYBONE (in unison - impressed) Damn.MONKEYBONE cowers in fear as the REAPER gets up, shaking a fist at them.But STU isn't intimidated. He grabs another ball and winds up. MONKEYBONE Stu? Stu? I think weve got this backwards. Your behavior...is disturbing me.The REAPER, scared shitless, jumps back on his bike and PEDALS OFF asthe ball whizzes past. STU starts chasing after him!The REAPER turns down a side street and pedals up an incline - one ofthe "fingers" of the hand that holds Dark Town. When the bike hits theend of the finger, it TAKES OFF into the void and KEEPS ON GOING. STU That's right. Run! And don't come back unless you've got my e-ticket!!The REAPER vanishes. STU sits dejectedly on the edge of the curb. STU Who am I kidding? I'm never gonna get out of here. I'll never see her again.Just then, a multi-armed MESSENGER BOY in royal livery toodles past on aCHILD'S SCOOTER. He stops... MESSENGER BOY Miley? Stu Miley?STU looks up. Six arms reach into six pockets. Finally the MESSENGERfinds an ENVELOPE and hands it over. Inside is an ENGRAVED INVITATION: YOU Are Invited to a PAJAMA PARTY at HYPNOS' HIDEAWAY Penthouse Suite - 10 PM Sharp "If You Snooze, You Lose"STU'S EYES widen with excitement as the MESSENGER scoots off. STU Hypnos! The god of nightmares! Do you know what this means, Monkeybone? He's finally going to hear my case. I'm going home! DISSOLVE TO:INT. STU'S PRIVATE ROOM - MORNINGAs she's done every morning for the last three months, JULIE brushesSTU'S TEETH. Although she looks a bit more worn and haggard than when wesaw her last, she always affects a cheerful manner around STU - on theoff chance that he might be aware of her presence.She packs the toothbrush away, runs a hand along his stubbly cheek. JULIE I think we can go another day without shaving. Long as you don't look like you're growing one of those stupid little goatees.She opens up the entertainment section of the daily newspaper. JULIE Hey, there's an article about the Monkeybone show. They've run that one episode about eight times now. Herb says it gets higher ratings every time...they're hoping you'll give 'em some new material soon... (long, bored pause) Wanna hear another joke?She refolds the paper and reaches into a bedside drawer for a paperbackentitled The Book of Raunch. She pages through it for a moment. JULIE Okay...let me see...here we go. A plane full of explorers crashlands in New Guinea; they are captured by a cannibal tribe and taken to the chief's hut, where...wait a minute. I know this one... (reading ahead) You stinker! You swiped this joke for a Monkeybone strip!She whacks him on the arm with the book. No response at all. JULIE Okay. Let's try again. Why did the pervert cross the road?The sound of SOBBING interrupts her joke. She looks up and sees KIMMYstanding in the doorway, red-eyed and crying. JULIE Kimmy! What's the matter? KIMMY This is hard for me, Julie...very hard...but it's been three months now, and... (long pause) I gave the order.JULIE just stares at her for a beat or two, refusing to understand. Thenit sinks in. Her hand goes to her mouth in horror and grief. FADE THROUGH TO:EXT. HYPNOSPIRE - ESTABLISHING - NIGHTCAMERA TRACKS up the seemingly endless length of the HYPNOSPIRE - up,up, THROUGH a heavy layer of clouds, to the ROTATING PENTHOUSE DOME ofthe building......which is festooned with oodles of 18-INCH DSS SATELLITE DISHES.INT. HYP'S HIDEAWAY - NIGHTELEVATOR DOORS open, and we glide into the swank, swingin', space-agebachelor pad of HYPNOS, God of Sleep. A giant flying CUPID welcomes us,tiny bumblebee wings somehow keeping his vast bulk aloft.HYP'S HIDEAWAY occupies the entire penthouse floor, and there's always aparty in full effect. A rotating disco ball flashes colored light onwalls, floors, and ceilings covered with shockadelic OP-ART PATTERNS. MONKEYBONE Now this...is livin'.Of course, a party needs party animals - and the DARKTOWNERS on thescene are in fine fettle, working up a sweat on the dance floor. DJSLEEPY ZZZ'S has three turntables spinning at once.As STU wanders through, he gets a big surprise. Reproductions of his oldNIGHTMARE PAINTINGS are hanging on the walls! They've been turned intoONE-SHEETS for the coming attractions at the Morpheum. MONKEYBONE Y'call that art? Why, my three-year-old can paint better than that. STU Like you'd know. You started out on the back of a napkin, you little...doodle.Scowling at each other, the boys turn their backs and part ways. Wefollow MONKEYBONE to the wet bar, where he almost immediately bumps intoa statuesque GORGON with a full head of writhing SNAKES. MONKEYBONE Hey! Like the do. So tell me, are you a, uhh... natural snakehead? GORGON Only fifty dollars to find out. MONKEYBONE Fifty dollars?! Bite me! GORGON You got it, big boy.He grins and shrugs: what the hell. As they head for a back room, theBARTENDER hands him a SNAKEBITE KIT.A look of apprehension crosses MONKEYBONE's face. But before he canchange his mind, the GORGON'S HAND yanks him out of frame.STU, meanwhile, is crossing the dance floor, moving among glitteringanimal-people who DANCE in their bizarre, uninhibited way. A FIVE-LEGGEDWOMAN - the bottom half of her body a big human HAND - SMILES at STU ashe passes. He tries to talk to her, but she's dancing, and with fiveconstantly moving legs it's difficult to get in close. STU Say, have you seen Mr. Hypnos? HAND WOMAN Hyp? He was here a while ago. Aren't you Stu Miley? The nightmare guy?STU grins meekly, nods yes. She pulls him over to dance. HAND WOMAN I heard you were going to be here tonight. This is so cool!JUMBO the ELEPHANT GOD is dancing in ungainly fashion nearby. His trunkswings out and hits one of the HAND WOMAN'S arms - which SNAPS OFF likemarble statuary. Before she can let out a squeal, he does it again. Nowshe's armless - a regular Venus de Milo! HAND WOMAN You fat slob! Watch what you're doing! JUMBO Why don't you slap me? Go on, slap me! HAND WOMAN Come on, Stu. Let's go where the real fun is.She leads him over to the sunken living room. Among the other guests, wesee a CYCLOPS, a YETI, a BBQ PIG. A number of sofas and lounge chairsare arranged around a big crystal ORB in the center of the room.The ORB is where nightmares happen. Although the perspective shifts andthe locales change abruptly, as in a movie, all the nightmares have a3-D quality - as if they're taking place right here in the room with us! STU Wow. Live feed, huh? HAND WOMAN You bet. Hyp gets all the best stuff before it goes out to the theatres.STU grins in anticipation. He finds an empty chair and starts to sitdown - but there's a SLUG with a MAN'S HEAD already in it! SLUG WITH A MAN'S HEAD HEY! STU Sorry.STU picks another seat. The HAND WOMAN sidles up alongside him. HAND WOMAN Shh! There's a new one just starting.EXT. FIELD OF FLOWERS (NIGHTMARE ORB)In long shot we see a handsome young couple dressed in paisley prints.Emerging from a sylvan glade, they kiss in golden sunlight. Then the MANbreaks free - sprints through knee-high sunflowers to the middle of thefield, where a picnic blanket is waiting.CLOSEUP - STUHIS FACE GOES PALE as he recognizes the man in the paisley shirt. STU That - that's me. CYCLOPS Nice shirt, dude!EXT. FIELD OF FLOWERS (NIGHTMARE ORB) - DAYPaisley-shirted STU pours champagne for two. Toasts his beloved - whois, of course, JULIE, the dreamer of the dream.He pulls out a little velvet RING BOX and offers it to her. But when shetries to take it, he pulls it away, teasing her, and STEALS A KISS.Suddenly the two of them are locked in a tight embrace, rolling togetherthrough the flowers, LAUGHING, full of joy.INT. HYP'S HIDEAWAY - THAT MOMENTThe DARKTOWNERS are rubbing their hands together in anticipation ofhorrors to come. STU looks from one misshapen face to the next, hisheart pounding with dread. STU What is this? Who's dreaming this?? (beat) Julie?? YETI Hey, keep it down!EXT. FIELD OF FLOWERS (NIGHTMARE ORB) - DAYJULIE rolls onto her back on the grass, FACE AGLOW. Only to realize...that STU IS NO LONGER THERE BESIDE HER.She looks around. Gets to her feet. Turns. And the BACKGROUND behind herMORPHS suddenly into...INT. HOSPITAL ROOM (NIGHTMARE ORB)The room is decorated for a FAREWELL PARTY, complete with streamers andconfetti. KIMMY, DR. EDELSTEIN, various MEDICAL PERSONNEL and FRIENDSare wearing party hats, lifting champagne glasses in a toast to theguest of honor...the comatose Stu!INT. HYP'S HIDEAWAY - THAT MOMENTThe DARKTOWNERS clustered around the orb can barely conceal their animalexcitement. It's obvious that the nightmares they're watching are morethan mere entertainment - they get some kind of addictive, visceralcharge from the spectacle of human terror. STU JULIE!!He tries to push his way forward to the orb. An angry CYCLOPS elbows himaside. A YETI grabs his coat and pushes him out of the way. HAND WOMAN Stu!! What are you doing? Chill out!!INT. HOSPITAL ROOM (NIGHTMARE ORB)COMATOSE STU stands in the center of the room, UPRIGHT and IMMOBILE in aparty hat. A weird UMBILICAL CORD extends from his navel to a hugegroaning BELLOWS DEVICE - like an artificial lung, it's all that keepshim breathing.EDELSTEIN hands a pair of OVERSIZED CEREMONIAL SCISSORS to KIMMY, andshe CUTS THE CORD, as if opening a new mall. Applause all around. JULIEraces toward STU in slo-mo, SHRIEKING -- as he DEFLATES into a LIMP PUDDLE OF FLESH before her eyes!! JULIE No. No. STU!INT. HYP'S HIDEAWAY - ON STUJULIE's distress is killing him. Yet all around him, DARKTOWNERS arecackling their heads off, growling, howling, punching their fists in theair like rowdy drunks at a football game. He LOSES IT ALTOGETHER. STU JULIE! I'M HERE, DOC! DON'T LET THEM PULL THE PLUG! I'M HERE!!!He won't be stopped this time. He makes for the orb - climbing oversofas, pushing guests aside, knocking over their drinks - CYCLOPS HEY! Watch it, you stinkin' gringo - STU JULIE! I'M HERE! I LOVE YOU!Somehow, JULIE has heard him!! Down in the nightmare orb, her dream selfis looking UP, trying to locate the source of STU's disembodied voice!He struggles to reach the orb, but the CYCLOPS is holding him back. JULIE Stu? STU...?STU breaks free and FLINGS HIMSELF on the ORB - which SHORTS OUT in ahaze of smoke and sparks, abruptly ending the nightmare. JULIE's imagevanishes - and STU gropes at the air, DESPAIRING.INT. STU'S PRIVATE ROOM - NIGHTThe real JULIE awakens suddenly and lets out a scream of her own. JULIE STU!!!!Only now does she realize where she is. She's fallen asleep in thevisitor's chair next to STU's bed. The clock on the wall reads 1:15 AM.STU'S READOUTS are spiking like crazy.INT. HYP'S HIDEAWAY - THAT MOMENT - NIGHTSTU is being dragged across the dance floor by the YETI and JUMBO THEELEPHANT GOD. HAND WOMAN brings up the rear. JUMBO Who invited this schmuck, anyway? HAND WOMAN Oh, it's my fault. I thought he was cooler than that. STU Listen. Please. It's my girlfriend. I've gotta get a message to her...But just then a hush falls over the room, and someone screams... WOMAN'S VOICE HYP!!!A WALL PANEL does a 180-degree turn, and a CIRCULAR BED rotates into theroom. Languishing atop it, garbed in a silk robe which exactly matchesthe black & white checkerboard pattern of the bedspread......is a CHUBBY, GRINNING, SLEEPY-EYED SATYR, with horns and hooves. TWOWASP WOMEN are with him on the bed, brushing his furry goat legs andfeeding him grapes.As STU fights his way over, he sees an odd LUMP wriggling under thebedcovers. Out pops MONKEYBONE, clutching a bottle of champagne! MONKEYBONE I knew I left it in there somewhere.He shakes the bottle, pops the cork, and SPRAYS SPURTING BUBBLY atHYPNOS, the GIRLS, and everyone else within firing range! HYPNOS Haw! I like a monkey with vision! MONKEYBONE You said it, partner!Hilarity all around. STU snatches MONKEYBONE off the bed - STU How'd you get in there? MONKEYBONE Stu... It's a party. STU Mr. Hypnos - sir - I needed to talk to you - HYPNOS Wait a minute. Stu Miley, right? Boys and girls ...Mr. Stu Miley, in the house! (leading a round of applause) This is an honor. We see a lot of nightmares down here, but yours are like caviar, man. You da shits!! STU Mr. Hypnos, I saw a dream. My girlfriend was having it. She dreamed they were pulling the plug on me. She was watching me die. HYPNOS Uh huh. And? STU Well, I have to get a message to her. I have to let her know I'm okay. Until I can get out of here...A vaguely embarrassed look crosses HYPNOS's face. All the nearbyDARKTOWNERS stare at their shoes, clear their throats. STU ...which is actually what I wanted to talk to you about. See, I've been here three months -With a brusque gesture, HYPNOS sends the party girls packing. He slingsone arm around STU's shoulder and pulls him aside. HYPNOS Kid - didn't they tell you about this party? STU Tell me what? HYPNOS It's a special kind of party. A farewell party. Do you...get what I'm saying? STU Farewell? You mean - you mean I'm -STU EXPLODES WITH JOY. He practically dances a jig. STU I'M GOING HOME! I'M WAKING UP! HEY, EVERYBODY! I'M OUTTA HERE. I...One by one, the celebrants turn their backs and slink discreetly away. STU I think I...I'm about to... Am I mistaken, or don't I get to... Is there some... HYPNOS Y'see, Stu, as I understand it, you made this pact with your sister...no life support?MONKEYBONE's jaw drops. He slaps himself across the forehead. MONKEYBONE Pact? Pact? NO LIFE SUPPORT?? STU Well - yeah - but that doesn't...apply. It was different then. I was depressed. My life is great now. I'm in love!MONKEYBONE marches back and forth across the bed, wearing a dimwit'sexpression as he MOCKS STU in a singsongy voice... MONKEYBONE Pull the plug! Pull the plug! Take my organs! I don't need 'em! I don't need no! Life support! I'm an idiot! Pull the pl--STU grabs the monkey and clamps a hand over his mouth. STU Besides, Julie wouldn't...she'd never... HYPNOS Actually, Stu, Julie doesn't get to decide. That's why she was having the nightmare. (an embarrassed shrug) They're pulling the plug at nine AM. STU Nine AM! But that's - twelve hours.In checking his watch, STU removes his hand from MONKEYBONE's mouth. Thesingsong resumes... MONKEYBONE I'm so dumb! I deserve to die - STU Mr. Hypnos, you run this place. I'm begging you. There's gotta be something I can do. HYPNOS Stu, I like you personally, I admire your work, but I'm just the God of Sleep. This is Death's bailiwick. STU Maybe you could talk to Death! HYPNOS Me? Me, go crawling to Death? My friend, it will be a cold, cold day in Las Vegas, Nevada, before I go crawling to that piece of -HYP shuts up. Looks around the room, as if he's afraid of beingoverheard. Then he gestures to the boys to join him on the bed.They climb aboard eagerly. HYPNOS hits his remote...INT. HYPNOS'S BEDROOM - ON BED...and they rotate AWAY from the party. Privacy at last. HYPNOS Now Death is not what you would call a people person, like me. Death is a putz - and I should know. I'm his little brother. STU You're Death's brother? HYPNOS Oh yeah. Mr. By-the-book, Stick-Up-the-Ass, My- Way-or-the-Highway Death. Believe me - over the course of eternity, you get pretty damned tired of that schtick. (spreading his hands) So I need a job. He sticks me in this broke-down amusement park, with a buncha animals to run it. I'm supposed to be grateful? MONKEYBONE The penthouse is pretty swank, though. HYPNOS Thank you. I decorated it myself. STU Guys, I don't mean to be rude, but I only have eleven hours and fifty-three minutes to... HYPNOS Oh, right. Cheating Death. There's one thing you might try. Only one guy in history ever pulled it off. Well, actually two. Actually, no, there was that other guy who...well, very few people have done it. STU Hyp, I'll do anything. MONKEYBONE Me too. And I mean anything. Ask the chicks in the back room. HYPNOS You've seen those E-tickets, right? Well, what you gotta do...is go into the Land of Death... and steal an E-ticket right out from under Death's nose. STU Land of Death. How do I get there? HYPNOS Kid, listen: that's all I'm saying. And you didn't hear it from me.HYP hits the remote. The bed begins to ROTATE OUTWARD again. HYPNOS You've heard of a fate worse than Death? That's what's waiting for you if you screw up.INT. HYP'S HIDEAWAY - A MOMENT LATERHYP gives the boys a wink and a thumbs-up, then wanders off to shmoozehis other guests. MONKEYBONE shakes STU's hand. MONKEYBONE Fate worse than death! Well, it's been real, boss, but I gotta go buff up my resumÈ. ANYBODY HERE NEED A FIGMENT? STU Fine! Don't put yourself out. I'll go to the land of Death alone. MONKEYBONE Stu, you have my absolute confidence. ≠- DEAD MAN! DEAD MAN WALKING!! STU (grabbing him by the throat) I've got one chance to get back to Julie, and I'm gonna take it - with or without you.He turns and stalks off. MONKEYBONE stands there blinking. MONKEYBONE Hey. Aren't you gonna talk me into it? STU No. Goodbye. Thanks for nothing.Stunned, MONKEYBONE scurries along behind him, PLEADING. MONKEYBONE You gotta talk me into it. You'll screw up on your own. I mean, a guy's gotta have a sidekick. For moral support! Wisecracks - snappy banter - (wrapping himself around STU's leg) It's the land of Death, Stu, the Land of Death! Don't go in there without your comedy relief!! STU All right. You can come. MONKEYBONE OH, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! TH-- (suddenly realizing) Something went very, very wrong here. STU Now we just gotta figure out how to get there.As if in reply, a PALE, SPECTRAL PRESENCE comes drifting across thedance floor - an eight-foot-tall GRIM REAPER.The boys duck behind a POTTED PLANT to watch as he zeroes in on the WETBAR - where a beautiful coma victim, LULU, is drunkenly making out withanother sloshed corpse-to-be, FRED. REAPER LULU LA RUE. I HAVE COME FOR YOU.LULU doesn't notice. She continues grappling with FRED. Muttering, theREAPER dives in and tries to disentangle them. REAPER LULU LA RUE, I HAVE COME FOR - LULU Shay, you're kinda cute.She ditches FRED and throws her arms around the REAPER. Repulsed, hepushes her away, props her against the nearest wall -- and TOUCHES HER with one bony finger above the heart! It's likethrowing a switch. Her body stiffens. Her EYES cross. Her TONGUE droopsout of her mouth. She makes a noise like a DIAL TONE.The true horror of death is that it makes you look like a total idiot.The REAPER pulls a collapsible HAND TRUCK from beneath his shroud andstarts maneuvering LULU onto it. FRED Say there. How 'bout one for the road?The REAPER ignores him. FRED holds up a cocktail glass. FRED Hold this for me, pally.The REAPER heaves a sigh and takes the cocktail glass. FRED grabs apitcher filled with some luminescent tropical concoction......and POURS IT down the REAPER's front! FRED Ooopsy daisy.ON STU AND MONKEYBONE - BEHIND THE PLANTWINCING at the REAPER in his sopping wet, pink-stained shroud. MONKEYBONE Is that what they call "death with dignity"?The REAPER wrings out his shroud and grabs the hand truck. As he wheelsLULU past the boys, MONKEYBONE pops up with a helpful hint: MONKEYBONE Two words for you, my friend: club soda.STU claps a hand over MB's mouth as the REAPER turns down a hall.EXT. DARK TOWN GATES - NIGHTThe still-muttering REAPER wheels LULU toward the entrance to Dark Town.The boys are skulking along behind him at a discreet distance. STU He's taking her to the land of Death, right? So all we've gotta do is...hitch a ride! (beat) Stop shaking! I'll protect you. MONKEYBONE Oh, sure. Mr. Action Hero! Why couldn't I be Arnold Schwarzenegger's figment?The REAPER approaches the GATES. He presses a remote-control BEEPER andthe meshing teeth of the gates slide back far enough to let him passthrough.STU realizes they've only got an instant to make their move. He DIVESthrough the gates at top speed. As soon as he's on the other side, hehears a nasty CLANG behind him...MONKEYBONE is caught - his body contorted like a pretzel, woven in andout among the meshing teeth! STU gives him a good hard YANK, and heslips out like a strand of fettuccine.They hear RUMBLING on the tracks outside. A CAR is arriving!EXT. DARK TOWN GATES - OTHER SIDE - NIGHTThe REAPER loads LULU into the little roller-coaster and climbs aboard.The car begins to move. STU and MONKEYBONE get there just in time tojump onto the LUGGAGE RACK in the back!ON ROLLER-COASTER - MOVING - THAT MOMENTThey peep over the back of the car at the REAPER and wonder what to donext. MONKEYBONE spies a TOOL KIT mounted under the rack - opens it, andpulls out a big, nasty MONKEYWRENCH.The boys nod in agreement. MONKEYBONE clambers over the back of the carand hoists the wrench. STU covers his eyes. WHANG!STU looks up - sees a confused MONKEYBONE alone in the car with LULU.Now he clambers into the car as well. STU Where'd he go?? MONKEYBONE I don't know.There's no trace of the REAPER - except for a rumpled shroud, awristwatch, and a St. Christopher's medal on the floor of the car. Theboys exchange a puzzled shrug. MONKEYBONE tries on the watch. DISSOLVE TO:INT. SLEEP LAB - PRE-DAWNThe wall clock says it's not quite 3 AM, yet JULIE has managed to roundup all her co-workers: ALICE, HUTCH, CLARISSA, et al. They're groggy,disheveled, un-made-up, unshaven. But they're there. JULIE Six hours. That's when they pull the plug. That's how long we've got to wake him up. (beat) Now these are Stu's old charts from five years ago, when he first came to the sleep lab...She points to a series of EASELS where HUTCH and ALICE have been tackingup EEG printouts, engram maps, etc. JULIE ...they show incredibly intense nightmare activity. The chart below is his new chart...The lower chart shows a JAGGED SPIKE virtually identical to the one onthe upper chart. JULIE pauses for effect - then pulls on the edge of thelower chart, OPENING IT UP like a gatefold -The onlookers GASP. Opened accordion-style, the lower chart shows theSAME SPIKE recurring again and again, TEN TIMES OVER! HUTCH Holy shit. JULIE He's stuck in a loop - a nightmare loop. (beat) Anybody here know what Oneirix is? CLARISSA Sure - it's an enzyme. The brain secretes it during violent dream activity... HUTCH It's nightmare juice. Julie and I were on the team that learned to synthesize it. If those charts are right, Stu's swimming in the stuff. (puzzled) Are you thinking we can decrease the levels? JULIE No. I want to give him more. I want to give him a massive dose. HUTCH That's not going to stop his nightmare - JULIE I don't want to stop the nightmare, Hutch. I want to crank it up. I want to take it right off the charts. I want to scare him awake.The group exchanges nervous glances: it's risky. JULIE claps her hands: JULIE All right! We have a plan. Let's move!As the group swings into action, HUTCH pulls JULIE aside. HUTCH You know, Julie, even if this works - which it probably won't - that stuff is tricky. You don't know what it'll do to his brain. JULIE What'll it do if they pull the plug? DISSOLVE TO:INT. LAND OF DEATH - NIGHTA PANORAMIC VIEW of an impossibly grand, Gilded-Age TRAIN STATION. Acentral turntable is the hub for dozens of TUNNELS, which converge likethe spokes of a wheel, disgorging long trains full of DEAD PASSENGERSfrom all over the world.Far above, in the dizzying reaches of the vaulted DOME that crowns thestation, REAPERS on FLYING BICYCLES spiral about like mosquitos,bringing dead souls to their final reward.This is Thanatopolis - land of Death - truly the end of the line.A WET SQUEEGEE scrapes across the frame - wielded by a GRIM REAPER in ajumpsuit bearing the logo of "LAND OF DEATH WINDOW WASHERS, INC." Thenoise is irritating, so a REAPER on the inside snaps the venetian blindsshut, cutting off our view.CAMERA PULLS BACK, and we realize we've been seeing all this through thewall-to-wall windows of...INT. DEATH'S OFFICE - NIGHTIt looks like the observation bridge in the nose of the Nautilus; thedecor is ornate, and the office equipment - vacuum tubes, pipeintercoms, etc. - is on loan from the Jules Verne Museum of DefunctTechnology.REAPERS are bustling about everywhere. One of them pushing a HAND TRUCKladen with oversized crates bearing the label "DEAD SOULS." REAPER Batch of souls - just back from Processing. DEATH'S ASSISTANT Put them over there with the others.He unloads the crates in a corner of the room, where SCORES of cratedsouls are already piled up. DEATH'S ASSISTANT Your Grimness? We have a new shipment - DEATH (o.s.) Yeah, yeah, yeah... I'll get to it...We can't see DEATH himself - just the back of a tall swivel chair. Withmuch creaking, it rotates around - bringing us face-to-face with...CLOSEUP - DEATHHe's not at all what you'd expect. He's a chubby-cheeked, bespectacledACCOUNTANT TYPE...a harried bureaucrat, just trying to do his job.There's something sweet, almost avuncular about him.There's an open crate of DEAD SOULS on his desk. Dead souls take theform of PERFORATED PAPER DOLLS...two-dimensional, underwear-clad,usually wearing expressions of shock. DEATH pulls a sheet from the box,detaches the dead soul, and outfits it with a cut-out TOGA.Now he places it in a big diorama - with OODLES of toga-clad soulsstaring up at a scale model of an active volcano. He throws a switch andBEAMS as the volcano spits BLOBS OF KETCHUP into the air. DEATH Last Days of Pompeii...now there was a Great Moment in Death. DEATH'S ASSISTANT If I may point out...it is 12:05...DEATH, grumbling, digs into the box and pulls out another soul. His eyeslight up. He clutches the sheet with trembling hands. DEATH I can't believe - oh, man, I - SINATRA!! Do you know how long I've been waiting for this?Sure enough, the doll on the sheet is Ol' Blue Eyes. DEATH digs in adesk drawer and pulls out a SHOEBOX DIORAMA...DINO and SAMMY standing atmicrophones, with a third, center mike conspicuously open. DEATH'S ASSISTANT Make that 12:07, your bleakness...the dispatch team is waiting...Grumpy, DEATH shoves FRANK, DEAN, and SAMMY back in the drawer. DEATH Okay, okay, send 'em in. Jeez.INT. DEATH'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS - DAYA FLUNKY opens the office door, and a long line of REAPERS glides in.DEATH lugs an enormous musty leather-bound BOOK over to a long table. Hesnaps his fingers and WHISTLES.His pet HELLHOUND - a tiny plump weiner dog, with a HORNED DEATH'S HEADfor a face, comes skittering across the office floor and jumps into hislap. Meanwhile, the ASSISTANT turns on a chugging, card-shuffling UNIVACCOMPUTER, which spits out a length of TICKERTAPE. ASSISTANT Chakasandra Singh, New Delhi. Snakebite.DEATH checks the name against the master list in his big ledger. Hepulls out a document and puts his STAMP on it - the DEATH WARRANT. Thishe gives to the REAPER at the head of the line. ASSISTANT Mulrooney, Lavinia P., Dearborn, Michigan. Head crushed in a pants press.As the line moves along, we notice an odd-looking REAPER nearing thedesk. His gait is wobbly. His head bobs independently of the rest of hisbody. There's a big, luminescent STAIN on the front of his shroud. DEATH YOU!!!EVERYONE FREEZES as DEATH points a bony finger DIRECTLY AT the wobblyREAPER with the iridescent stain. DEATH You're the customer, okay? You're about to die. It's a big occasion. A formal occasion. And as you shuffle off this mortal coil, the last thing your eyes behold is a Grim Reaper covered with... (sputtering) What the hell is that??TWO VOICES come out from under the shroud at once: STU MONKEYBONE Cranberry Margarita. Sex on the Beach.Much COUGHING and THROAT-CLEARING from under the shroud. By now DEATH'SLAPDOG is GROWLING at the STAINED REAPER, and DEATH can't hear whatanyone is saying. He shushes the dog. DEATH ...What?? STU MONKEYBONE Salty Dog. Sufferin' Bastard.The little hellhound YIPS VICIOUSLY. DEATH whacks him on the rump. DEATH Well - whatever it is - you get that shroud to the dry cleaner ASAP! Now where were we? ASSISTANT Clarke P. Devereaux, San Francisco. Complications resulting from coma... DEATH Oh, wait. Says here he's supposed to recover.A loud chorus of "A WWWWW's" from the disappointed REAPERS. DEATH stampsthe word "REPRIEVE" on Clarke's warrant.His ASSISTANT crosses the room. In the far wall is a steel-reinforcedVAULT DOOR with a hydraulic wheel - the kind you see at banks. TheASSISTANT dials in a combination, turns the wheel, laboriously pulls thedoor open and STEPS INSIDE......returning, a moment later, with a priceless gold E-TICKET!!The UPPER HALF of the STAINED REAPER begins to gyrate wildly.CLOSEUP - ON STU - UNDER THE SHROUDMONKEYBONE is doing an agitated TAP DANCE on his head. His TAIL whipsrepeatedly across STU'S FACE.INT. DEATH'S OFFICE - BACK TO SCENEThe REAPER in front of the boys stares at the E-ticket, crestfallen. DEATH Take this to Dark Town. Sad to say, he's gonna live another forty years. (a consoling pat on the shoulder) Sorry. Nobody said this job would be easy.The ASSISTANT hands the REAPER a YELLOW MAILMAN'S POUCH containing theE-ticket. But before he can depart, the STAINED REAPER - aka STU andMONKEYBONE - jumps to the front of the line. MONKEYBONE Say, Death, just out of curiosity, could we maybe swap jobs with that other guy? See, we've been meaning to drop in on Dark Town - I mean I've been meaning to...DEATH is stunned by this unprecedented breach of protocol. The otherREAPERS in the line are ABUZZ. DEATH ...I beg your pardon? MONKEYBONE I got relatives there. I...EEP!!CLOSEUP - ON STU - UNDER SHROUDAn ENRAGED STU is yanking on MONKEYBONE'S TAIL, signalling him to shutup. MONKEYBONE, in pain, squeals repeatedly. Finally he reaches down andPUNCHES STU IN THE NOSE.INT. DEATH'S OFFICE - BACK TO SCENEThe blow sends STU staggering. DEATH and the other REAPERS look on inastonishment as the STAINED REAPER does a bizarre DANCE across thefloor, top half and bottom half moving independently. Miraculously, hemanages to right himself and regain his balance. DEATH Now what were you saying? STU/MONKEYBONE (in unison) Nothing. DEATH I'd like to have a word with you in private.He stands and gestures toward a side room. The boys follow. The littleHELLHOUND scampers out from behind the desk......and GRABS THE HEM OF THEIR SHROUD in its teeth! The boys keep onwalking, but the shroud stays behind. Somehow they go three or foursteps before they realize they've been exposed.DEATH jumps a foot in the air and SHRIEKS. PANDEMONIUM ERUPTS. DEATH IMPOSTORS!! GET 'EM!!The boys back toward the big WINDOW overlooking the trainyard. TheREAPERS close in on them, BRANDISHING THEIR SCYTHES. DEATH HYPNOS! That little twerp! He's the one who put you up to this!With a SCREECH, MONKEYBONE LEAPS into the air, BOUNDS OVER the heads andshoulders of the advancing REAPERS, and SNATCHES the yellow E-ticketpouch from the guy Death gave it to.He bounds over a table and into STU's arms, with the precious pouch inhand! DEATH lets out a great rattling BELLOW OF RAGE.His features begin to JITTER VIOLENTLY. HIS HEAD EXPLODES!!! MONKEYBONE Yowie.Nothing to lose at this point. With a CRASH, the boys DIVE THROUGH THEBIG WINDOW overlooking the trainyard!The headless DEATH gropes around blindly, waving to his ASSISTANT. DEATH Head. HEAD!!The ASSISTANT opens a cabinet containing a half-dozen identical HEADS.He pulls out a spare and screws it onto DEATH's neck.EXT. TRAINYARD - THAT MOMENT - NIGHTThe boys land hard at the edge of the trainyard. Behind them, REAPERSare shepherding a line of newly arrived DEAD PEOPLE past a sign whichreads: "PROCESSING - THIS WAY."By the time they can dust themselves off, an ALARM starts blaring.REAPERS drop what they're doing, point at the boys. Panic time!Nearby, a FLYING BICYCLE is propped up against a SIGN. Side-by-side theyrace toward the bike, each of them clutching the strap of the pouch,YANKING each other back and forth in a tug-of-war.STU's bigger. He pulls the pouch onto his shoulder, and MONKEYBONE withit. They grab the bike, climb aboard, and pedal off -- revealing the SIGN it was leaning against: "CYCLE REPAIR."EXT. TRAINYARD - ON BICYCLE - THAT MOMENTSTU pedals onto the central turntable area. The BATWINGS on the rear ofthe bike flap feebly, but the flying bike just won't fly.MONKEYBONE looks over his shoulder. A small ARMY of REAPERS, anned withscythes, is pouring into the trainyard behind them. MONKEYBONE Stu...Stu... STU IT'S NOT WORKING. MONKEYBONE There's a thing here! There's a switch!MONKEYBONE fiddles with the ignition switch. A BLACK CLOUD OF EXHAUSTbelches violently from the rear of the bike, almost pitching them offtheir seat. The batwings start to flap faster...SPUT. BLAP. The engine BACKFIRES and DIES. STU fiddles with the switch,but it's no go. MONKEYBONE Stu...LOOK! STU What? MONKEYBONE Isn't that Lulu?LULU is still sitting in her little car at the edge of the tracks, eyescrossed, mouth agape. MONKEYBONE waves brightly. Then a mob of REAPERSappears on either side of LULU's car, swarming out onto the tracks! STUstarts pedaling for his life.He makes for the TRAIN TUNNELS in the far wall of the station.ILLUMINATED SIGNS over the tunnels read: Calcutta...Hong Kong...Waco, TX...and directly ahead...Dark Town!! By now they're well out onto the turnaround. STU pedalsfrantically, BOUNCING over tracks and ties. MONKEYBONE bites hisfingernails down to the quick as he watches the column of REAPERSpursuing them onto the tracks.INT. OFFICE - ON DEATHwatching through a crooked spyglass as the boys pedal down the tracks. DEATH Now we've got 'em.Petting his hellhound, he reaches for a WALL SWITCH.EXT. TRAINYARD - HIGH ANGLEThe boys are almost at the Dark Town tunnel. The REAPERS, on foot, willnever be able to catch them. But as they pick up speed for the stretchrun, the GROUND begins to move beneath them!DEATH has activated the TRAIN TURNAROUND - the rotating platform at theend of the line which allows an engine to reverse direction. Before theyknow it, they're doing a full 180!EXT. TRAINYARD - ON BICYCLEThe boys continue to bounce down the tracks - but the tunnel entrancesseem to be SPINNING before their eyes. Before they know it, they'repedaling directly TOWARD the mob of ANGRY REAPERS!! MONKEYBONE Weren't we just here?STU jerks the handlebars HARD RIGHT and JUMPS THE TRACK he's on. HeWINCES IN PAIN as the bike BOUNCES over a series of rails... MONKEYBONE What'd I tell you? You go to the Land of Death, wear a jockstrap!EXT. TRAINYARD - HIGH ANGLEThe REAPERS are SPREADING OUT around the turntable - encircling it! STUrides around the periphery of the great turning platter, but there's nogetting off. They're completely surrounded!EXT. TRAINYARD - ON BICYCLEMONKEYBONE covers both eyes and wails in fear. But STU is rattling theignition switch, making ONE LAST EFFORT to get the bike aloft...THE ENGINE CATCHES. Trailing black fumes, the BICYCLE RISES! The REAPERSconverge in its path, and RAISE THEIR SCYTHES...But the bike JUST MANAGES TO CLEAR the tangle of scythes - leaving theREAPERS slicing at empty air!INT. OFFICE - ON DEATHThrough the big window, he sees the boys leveling off, flying toward theDARK TOWN TUNNEL. They're moments away from a clean escape.INT. STU'S ROOM - NIGHTSTU's readout monitors are registering frantic nightmare activity whenJULIE and ALICE enter. JULIE sets her purse on STU's bedside table -removes a SYRINGE and a test tube filled with PURPLISH FLUID. JULIE What's the maximum safe dose? ALICE Most we've ever used is half a CC. JULIE Five CC's.CLOSEUP - DEATHHe unlocks a RED SECURITY BOX on his wall. Inside is a TOGGLE SWITCHlabelled "FATE WORSE THAN DEATH." He flips it...CLOSEUP - THE SYRINGEThe plunger goes down, injecting fluid into STU...EXT. TRAINYARD - ON FLYING BIKEMONKEYBONE is sitting on STU's shoulder, facing backward, thumbing hisnose at the REAPERS. STU glances back as well, laughing, unable tobelieve his own good luck.Since they're both looking the wrong way, neither of them sees thesheer, monolithic WALL rising up DIRECTLY IN THEIR PATH.It's no ordinary wall. It's STU'S PAINTING - the one ALICE found in thecloset, the wolf-surgeon canvas from his scary period -- and as the bicycle SLAMS INTO IT, it begins to TOPPLE OVER - PINNINGSTU against the ground underneath!STU'S DREAMSCAPENo bike. No monkey. Just STU - who finds himself on an operating table,with the world of the painting coming to 3-D life around him. The WOLF-FACED SURGEONS are closing in on him, baring their fangs, brandishingtheir scalpels and their metallic REPLACEMENT PARTS...Suddenly the fabric of this weird reality TEARS - just like a rip in acanvas. A FURRY PAW reaches through - GRABS STU by the hand... MONKEYBONE This ain't my nightmare!EXT. TRAINYARD - JUST OUTSIDE TUNNELMONKEYBONE PULLS STU through the rip in the back of the giant toppledcanvas. The bike's there waiting. They hop aboard and pedal off INTO THEDARK TOWN TUNNEL a split-second before the REAPERS arrive to slice themto ribbons.INT. DARK TOWN TUNNEL - ON BICYCLESTU pedals so hard his heart is about to burst. He feels down at hisside - the yellow pouch containing the E-ticket is still there. TheREAPERS are clustered at the mouth of the tunnel, but they aren'tfollowing.The boys WEEP WITH GLEE. It's a miracle - they've cheated Death! DISSOLVE TO:EXT. DARK TOWN GATES - NIGHTAn exhausted STU huffs and puffs as he pedals the bike up the laststretch of track to the platform outside the gates. He climbs off thebike and stares back - it looks like the last thousand miles or so haveall been uphill. He slings the YELLOW POUCH over his shoulder... STU You saved my life, Monkeybone. I never would've made it without you. MONKEYBONE Move it. We got exactly five minutes left. STU It's just...now that I'm leaving, I feel like there's lots of things I haven't said. Who's gonna look out for you? Are you gonna be okay when I'm gone? MONKEYBONE Oh, don't you worry. I'll be fine. STU You've been a hell of a figment, pal. I sure wish I could take you home with me.The gates slide open. STU passes through. But MONKEYBONE lingers behinda moment - just long enough for one of the SINGING SPHINXES to slip hima big, nasty BASEBALL BAT. MONKEYBONE Awwww. Worried about my feelings, are you? Well, there's a new twist. STU Don't joke around, little buddy. I mean it. I really do love y--He turns - and MONKEYBONE MARK McGWIRES HIM upside the head! STUcrumples in a heap... MONKEYBONE Love you too. Boss.Laughing maniacally, MONKEYBONE STEALS the E-TICKET and goes RACING OFFDOWN THE MIDWAY!!STU'S HEAD is swimming. It takes him a few seconds, but he gets to hisfeet. By now, MONKEYBONE is halfway to the E-ticket ride. Worse yet,STU'S WATCH reads 8:59 AM!!! STU Stop! Monkeybone! Please!!EXT. DARK TOWN PLAZA - NIGHTThe STREETS ARE LINED with Darktowners ROOTING MONKEYBONE ON as if he'sthe hometown favorite in a big footrace. Which he is.MONKEYBONE reaches the E-TICKET RIDE - drops his E-TICKET into thereceptacle at the gate. The drawbridge lowers...As STU sprints down the street, the SNAIL MAN oozes into his path - andTRIPS HIM! Before he can get up, cackling DARKTOWNERS converge on him -forcing him back to the ground and HOLDING HIM THERE. STU NO! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?? HE'S GOT MY E-TICKET! HE'S GOT MY - HYPNOS Sorry, Stu. It's all part of the deal. We've got big plans for that body of yours!EXT. E-TICKET RIDE - ON MONKEYBONEThe familiar miasma of COLORS is beginning to swirl in the night skyoverhead. MONKEYBONE straps on a NEEDLE-TIPPED HELMET which makes himlook like a simian DART. Then he climbs into the seat of the TEST-YOUR-STRENGTH machine and braces himself for the big ride!EXT. DARK TOWN PLAZA - THAT MOMENT - RIGHTONLOOKERS APPLAUD as the robot lifts its mallet and LETS FLY. DING!! Thetiny figure of MONKEYBONE soars toward the swirling colors. His DART-HELMET strikes the black hole dead center.STU WATCHES HELPLESSLY as MONKEYBONE penetrates the veil of the sky andVANISHES. He's still SCREAMING when the cackling DARKTOWNERS drag himout of the plaza by the heels... STU NO! JULIE! NO-O-O-O!AERIAL SHOT - ON MONKEYBONEROCKETING UPWARD through the clouds in his dart-helmet, a look of SHEEREXHILARATION on his simian face. Somewhere a CLOCK begins to chime thehour...INT. STU'S PRIVATE ROOM - 8:59 AM - DAYMOST OF OUR CAST is either in STU's room or in the hallway outside.PLUS we've got a man of the cloth; two LEGAL TYPES, with briefcases; andseveral of the NURSES from the facility.ALICE squeezes JULIE's hand, and JULIE squeezes STU's. The minute handon the clock hits twelve. KIMMY, sobbing into a handkerchief, gives DR.EDELSTEIN the nod. As he reaches for the power switch... STU EEEEEEPP!!JULIE DROPS the hand with a gasp. The DOCTOR jumps half a foot.All at once STU is sitting BOLT UPRIGHT IN BED...shaking his head andfeeling around gingerly under the bedclothes, as if something VERY SHARPhas just poked him in the ass. STU Oooie! That smarts!!!KIMMY sighs and FAINTS DEAD AWAY.STU blinks and looks about the room, disoriented. It could be becausehe's just come out of a coma after seven months. Or it could be becausehe's a MONKEY unaccustomed to hanging out in a human body. JULIE Stu? STU Julie?... Hey, you are a looker.A BURST OF LAUGHTER from the others in the room. Weeping TEARS OF JOY,JULIE flings herself across the bed and hugs him tight.While JULIE is hugging him, STU is checking out his new fingers andtoes, RUBBING his sparse patch of CHEST FUR. DOCTORS and NURSES look onin amazement from the doorway. NURSE It's a miracle. It's a miracle. DOCTOR Two more ticks of the clock...STU is almost oblivious to JULIE. He lifts up the sheet, sneaks a quickpeek at his CROTCH, and grins delightedly.JULIE gives him another kiss, WHISPERS in his ear: JULIE Thank you. Thank you for coming back to me.What she doesn't know is that, although he still looks like STU, hisbody is now occupied by MONKEYBONE. Since he's now a hybrid character,man on the outside and monkey within, let's call him... STU-BONE Boy, I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving. WIPE TO:INT. DUNGEON - NIGHTA damp, stonewalled VAULT with a barred door. STU is sprawled on thefloor, OUT COLD, when a VOICE awakes him... RAT GUARD (o.s.) Heads up! Feeding time!STU comes around just in time to see a PANEL sliding open in the ceilingfar overhead. A torrent of JUNK - stale popcorn, half-eaten candy bars,molten ice cream pops, and sticky soda - rains down ON HIS FACE.A horde of DARK FIGURES emerge from the shadowy catacombs around him.All at once, HANDS are grabbing at him from all directions. STU lets outa SCREAM - backs up against a wall - STU Who are y-- WHAT DO YOU WANT??A MONGOL WARRIOR with a droopy mustache looks up at him. GENGHIS KHAN Dinner.After a moment STU realizes that the DARK FIGURES have almost nointerest in him - instead, they've been grabbing at the half-eatenSNACKS that cascaded down onto his head. A long-haired SLAV - RASPUTIN -dives on a Hershey bar with only one bite out of it, but an oddlyfamiliar FAT MAN gets there first. STU gapes at him... STU Alfred Hitchcock?? EDGAR ALLAN POE A fat bastard, but damn quick on his feet. TYPHOID MARY That's how he keeps his girlish figure. STEPHEN KING Gotta move fast in this crowd, or you'll starve. Here you go, pal. Have some popcorn.He offers STU a box of popcorn soaked in Dr. Pepper. STU What is this stuff? STEPHEN KING They feed us the slops from the Morpheum Theatre. You hope for Jujubes, settle for goobers. - I'm Steve. Steve King. STU Stephen King? What are you doing in here?Various OTHERS emerge from the shadows to shake STU's hand. JACK THE RIPPER I'm Jack the Ripper. TYPHOID MARY Typhoid Mary. ATILLA THE HUN Atilla the Hun. Trade you a Twizzler for a box of Raisinets! STU Atilla the - ! What in hell is this place?As if in reply, a FANFARE sounds in the distance...INT. DUNGEON - ENTRANCEA RAT GUARD stands at attention by the door, TOOTING HIS KAZOO toannounce the arrival of an honored guest. RAT GUARD All hail the most glorious! Most eminent! Most esteemed all-powerful God of Sleep...his Royal Lassitude - HYPNOS Enough, enough, I'm hung over.As HYPNOS passes, the DUNGEON DWELLERS race up to the WALL OF BARS thatseparates the entry area from the dungeon proper. TYPHOID MARY Hyp! Did you bring me the cough medicine? STEPHEN KING Did you remember the night light I asked for? EDGAR ALLAN POE King, you pussy. STEPHEN KING Bite me, Poe! I hate waking up in the dark. HYPNOS Sorry, Steve, maybe next time. And how's our new guest settling in - ? STU YOU SET ME UP!!STU LUNGES at HYPNOS - who backs up just out of reach. HYPNOS Easy, pal! I was coming to congratulate you. It ain't easy snatching one of those E-tickets. Steve here was the last guy to pull it off, and that musta been, what, 25 years ago...? STU Why'd you do it? What'd I ever do to you?!? HYPNOS It's simple, Stu. We need nightmares - lots of 'em. So whenever we can swing it, we send a guy up to stimulate the flow...a nightmare maker! Like Steve here. Poe. Rasputin...we've been doing this all the way back to Atilla and Genghis Khan! STU But why me? Why'd you pick on me?? HYPNOS The monkey, of course. It was his idea. STU Monkeybone...!? HYPNOS Nobody wants to be a sidekick, Stu. So one day he comes to us - he's got a proposition. We help him get your body...in return he gives us all the nightmares we want. STU You're nuts! I'm a comic strip artist! What's he gonna do - draw really scary cartoons?? HYPNOS Oh, no, no, no. Y'see, Stu, as it happens, that girlfriend of yours figured out the chemical basis of bad dreams. And she just whipped up a big old batch of nightmare juice!STU's face goes white as he realizes the point of the master plan. HYPNOS Oh, we're predicting a record box-office. It's like I always say...nightmares are your best entertainment!HYPNOS marches off, chuckling. STU's head sinks into his hands.EXT. STU AND JULIE'S HOUSE - DAYSTU's back from the hospital. JULIE is removing his bags from the trunkof KIMMY's car while STU and KIMMY chat in the front seat. KIMMY I just couldn't stand the thought of you suffering. I love you so, I would never have... forgive me, Stu. Please forgive me. STU-BONE Kimmy. Chill. We've still got a pact. If anything ever happens to you, I'll be right there to return the favor. (baring his teeth) So drive carefully! From now on.He climbs out. KIMMY is so rattled that she smacks bumpers with the carparked in front of her. She PEELS OUT with the hand brake still on.INT. STU & JULIE'S HOUSE - DAYSTU-BONE and JULIE enter with luggage. He stands there for a momentscoping out the unfamiliar surroundings. She sets the bags down, tapshim on the shoulder. JULIE Welcome home.STU-BONE grins insipidly. She kisses him, pulls him into a tight embrace- and then, overwhelmed by emotion, begins to SOB. JULIE Oh, baby, I can't believe you're back. STU-BONE Home sweet home, huh? Actually, I was expecting something a little swankier. How much loot does old Stu rake in, anyway?She gives him an extremely puzzled look. STU-BONE Meaning me, of course. I'm referring to myself. You have to assume Monkeybone would be a pretty lucrative franchise... JULIE Baby? Why don't you just...rest on the sofa for a minute. I'll be right back.She goes into the kitchen as STU-BONE plops onto the sofa. He spies abowl of FRESH FRUIT on the coffee table and immediately tries to pick upa banana with his FOOT.But he can't. He's got shoes on. Frowning, he unties his shoe, peels offhis sock. His bare foot is in the fruit bowl when JULIE returns from thekitchen with a TRAY holding a chocolate cake and the bottle of CHAMPAGNEStu bought three months ago. The cake bears the message "WELCOME HOME -I LOVE YOU" in pink icing.She sits beside him with the goodies. He removes his foot from the bowl,crosses his legs, WIGGLES HIS TOES at her. She smiles uncertainly. Thenshe opens the bottle of champagne and pours two flutes full. JULIE Here's to a bottle...we should have opened... three months ago.She finishes pouring, hands a flute to STU-BONE. His face is smearedwith CAKE and ICING. He's scooped out a big fistful and crammed it rightinto his pie hole. He GRINS at her. STU-BONE Bitchin' good cake. JULIE Stu, are you...feeling okay? STU-BONE Sure. Why? JULIE You're acting kind of...odd. STU-BONE (grabbing another fistful) In what way?Then: we hear TINY NAILS skittering across the hardwood floors at highspeed. And BUSTER THE DOG races into the living room! JULIE Buster! Look who's here!STU-BONE tenses instinctively. The dog is yipping, wagging his tailinsanely at the sight of his long-lost master - until he gets just alittle bit closer, and senses that something is very, very wrong.BUSTER sizes STU-BONE up and GROWLS. STU-BONE bares his teeth andHISSES. The dog LUNGES - and STU-BONE jumps up on the sofa! STU-BONE Oh shit, the cake!He bends down, snatches up the cake, and CRADLES IT under one arm as heKICKS AT BUSTER from the sofa. STU-BONE Mine. Get back! MINE!!The frazzled JULIE pours herself another jolt of champagne - a stiffone.INT. BEDROOM - NIGHTSOUNDS of JULIE taking a shower in the adjacent bathroom o.s.STU-BONE is sprawled in bed, pillows propped up behind him, flippingchannels on the bedroom TV with his trusty remote. The Discovery Channelhappens to be showing a Jane Goodall special... NARRATOR (on TV) The mating rituals of the African silverback are as rigidly formalized as those of any animal we know - with the possible exception of man.Onscreen a FEMALE GORILLA is presenting her furry haunches to an ALPHAMALE.STU-BONE watches this erotic spectacle with a connoisseur's eye. Heglances over at the open bathroom door and catches a teasing glimpse ofJULIE'S SHADOW as she steps out of the shower and pulls on a robe. HeSCRATCHES and SNIFFS, just to put himself in the mood.On TV: MONKEY FOREPLAY, which consists of a pounce from behind. NARRATOR (on TV) In the wild, a dominant chimpanzee male is likely to engage in sex numerous times throughout the day, with a shockingly wide variety of -STU-BONE mutes the nature special and sneaks up behind JULIE just as sheemerges from the bathroom in her robe and towel-turban. JULIE What are you watching? STU-BONE Ohhh, nothing.She tries to pass, but he grabs the belt of her robe and spins heraround. He delicately unwraps the turban, then opens her robe and pullsit closed around the two of them. They kiss... JULIE You sure this is...medically advisable? STU-BONE Got a doctor on duty. JULIE Well. As long as it's okay with Monkeybone -STU-BONE almost lets out a gasp of shock. What does she mean??? JULIE (glancing downward) - which it seems to be.STU-BONE does a take. The good news is, she doesn't suspect. The badnews is, he's apparently named after his creator's penis.INT. HALLWAY - A MOMENT LATERAll at once the air is full of Barry White's lush baritone on thebedroom CD player. Through the bedroom doorway we see STU-BONE and JULIEwaltzing romantically, belly to belly, still wrapped up in the singlerobe.The only jarring note is BUSTER'S FRANTIC BARKING. The poor dog is stuckbehind an accordion gate in the hall, going crazy, trying to warn hismistress about the imposter in STU's body. The dog is almost drowningout Barry White -- so STU-BONE stops kissing JULIE long enough to reach over with onefoot and KICK THE DOOR SHUT.INT. BEDROOM - A MOMENT LATERJULIE watches from the bed as STU-BONE begins peeling off his PJ's,going into a bizarrely formalized MONKEY MATING DANCE. He circles backand forth from one side of the bed to the other, making faces, grunting,FEINTING at her occasionally.JULIE has some dim sense that this ritual is supposed to be erotic, butin fact, it's making her damned nervous. She finds herself scrunching upon the bed, trying to keep out of STU-BONE's way.Now he LEAPS UP onto the foot of the bed. REARS BACK. And with an animalhowl of triumph, POUNCES AT JULIE!Terrified, she rolls out of the way. STU-BONE'S SKULL slams into theheadboard. JULIE Oh, God!! Baby! Are you -Dazed, he sits up. He tries to stand, but his rubbery legs give way, andhe pitches over - CRACKING HIS SKULL AGAIN on the nightstand.EXT. HALLWAY - A MOMENT LATERJULIE helps a punchdrunk, staggering STU to the stairway. STU How was it? I don't recall. JULIE It was great, baby. Let's get you to the ER.As they pass, BUSTER lets out a little growl of satisfaction from behindhis gate. HOLD ON THE DOG's satisfied expression as STU-BONE loses hisbalance and topples down the stairs O.S. DISSOLVE TO:INT. DUNGEON - NIGHTRASPUTIN, ATILLA, JACK THE RIPPER and STEPHEN KING are engrossed intheir weekly Parcheesi game. STU is clinging to the bars, bemoaning hisfate. STU I'm not like the rest of you. I'm just a regular guy! I'm not a "nightmare maker." RASPUTIN Neither are we. We got our bodies hijacked just like you. The guys who replaced us are the nightmare makers! ATTILA Like me. I was a mess sergeant in the Mongol Horde. I never wanted to be the Scourge of Asia. I just wanted a new recipe for yak! JACK THE RIPPER I was Jack the Haberdasher. STU But how? Did you all have sidekicks? Figments? ...Monkeys?? STEPHEN KING Hey, I got screwed over by my own dog. Go through hell to get that E-ticket, and who winds up in my body? That darn Cujo.TYPHOID MARY runs past, GIGGLING, pursued by a huffing HITCHCOCK. RASPUTIN He's sure got a thing for those icy blondes.KAZOOS SOUND. The RAT GUARD appears to announce: RAT GUARD Miley. You got a visitor. STU ...Kitty?!?At the sight of STU behind bars, she breaks down CRYING. KITTY I'm so sorry, Stu. I wanted to tell you what was going on. I really, really liked you. STU Kitty...my situation is really not important. The thing is, my girlfriend is now living with, and possibly engaged to, a demented monkey. KITTY You're such a beautiful man. Look at you - stuck in this place, and only thinking of her. STU Listen to me! Is there any way I can warn her what Monkeybone is up to?? RAT GUARD Time's up! Break it up, you two.The RAT GUARD pushes STU back with a prod. KITTY reaches out... KITTY No! Give me a moment. Just to look at him. Oh, Stu. Oh, my sweet, sweet Stu.As she gazes at him, love struck, the overhead PANEL opens and a delugeof CRUD from the Morpheum lands directly on STU. RAT GUARD Feeding time!KITTY BAWLS inconsolably as the RAT GUARD leads her away. DISSOLVE TO:INT. KITCHEN - DAYSTU-BONE in pajamas and a head bandage, reading the morning funnies. Hepounds the table, practically WEEPING with hilarity at the MONKEYBONECOMIC STRIP. STU-BONE Priceless! Priceless! This stuff just kills me! JULIE I'm heading in to work, baby. Are you sure you'll be okay? STU-BONE Oh yeah. There's just one thing I don't get. "Monkeybone Creator Awakens from Coma" that's a big story! That's front page news! But I can't find a word of coverage in this stinkin' rag! (shuffling through the paper) Hey. Don't I have a TV show? JULIE They only made the one episode. They've shown it about nineteen times. STU-BONE I need a new PR guy.JULIE grins, plants a goodbye smooch on his forehead, and exits. Hewaits a minute, then reaches for the PHONE. WIPE TO:INT. LIVING ROOM - EVENINGThe house is crawling with PRESS. There must be three dozen REPORTERSand PHOTOGRAPHERS and TV CREWS hanging on STU≠BONE's every pronouncement. STU-BONE Yes, being in a coma taught Stu Miley a thing or two about life. Buckle your seat belts, for one. But seriously, Stu Miley is a different man today. I'm much homier.The front door opens. A stunned JULIE pushes her way inside... STU-BONE And speaking of which, here's the light of my life, the pert and saucy Miss Julie McElroy. JULIE I had to park two blocks away. Is something -He pulls her to his side for a photo op. FLASHBULBS go off. STU I took the liberty of calling a little press conference. We're on TV, so don't say "shit." ≠(covering his mouth) Shit! I said it. Shit! I said it again! REPORTER Stu, what is it about Monkeybone that makes him so popular? STU-BONE Well, it's partly that he punctures all the phony pretensions of our modern society...and it's partly that he's a breathtakin', heartbreakin', rump-shakin' sex machine! (beat) Ask these gentlemen here. They're an important cog in my media machine. They'll be doing six new episodes of the Monkeybone show under my personal supervision.He pauses for a photo op with MIKE CACHUELA and MIKE MITCHELL. STU-BONE It's all synergy. The show synergizes the strip, which synergizes the merchandising, which synergizes the religion, which synergizes the Barbara Walters special; and then, baby, we are all in the United Empire of Monkeybonia.INT. KITCHEN - THAT MOMENT - LATE AFTERNOONJULIE squeezes through the crowd, finds HERB working the phone. HERB I tell you, he's ready to merchandise. We've gotta move quickly. Get the toy guys, the burger guys, the lunchbox guys - JULIE Herb...what in God's name -HERB holds up a finger. He's too busy talking. STU-BONE enters with thevideo crew in tow. JULIE somehow manages to sideline him. JULIE What's this about merchandising? You always hated merchandising! STU-BONE Well, baby, I do, but to look at it from another angle...there's a potload of money here. DISSOLVE TO:EXT. STREET - DAYSUPERCHARGED POP MUSIC underneath as STU-BONE comes running around acorner - followed, a moment later, by a SCREAMING HORDE of BEAUTIFULGROUPIES in black miniskirts and high heels. It's like something out ofA Hard Day's Night, only more so.INT. BEDROOM - NIGHTTIGHT on STU-BONE, head still bandaged, eyes closed, SNORING slightly.He wears a big monkey grin as he DREAMS the above.EXT. STREET - DAYA CARLOAD OF SUPERMODELS. They kill their engine in the middle of a busyintersection and climb out to join the mob chasing STU-BONE.He cuts around a corner, ducks into an alley, and FLATTENS HIMSELFbehind a dumpster. As the girls run past, he pulls out a handkerchiefand MOPS SWEAT from his brow.Then, with a what-the-hell twinkle, he steps out and FLINGS HIS SWEATYHANKIE into the midst of the GROUPIES. A CATFIGHT ensues as theyscramble after this precious memento. The chase resumes.Suddenly he realizes he's SLOWING DOWN...running in SLO-MO. Same dealwith the girls on his trail. After a moment, he FREEZES. He can't moveanything except his EYES; he looks right, left, up, down......and suddenly he sees HYPNOS winking into view directly in front ofhim! HYPNOS is perfectly capable of moving. He strolls right up to thefrozen STU-BONE and SLAPS HIM REPEATEDLY, Moe Howard-style. HYPNOS You two-bit simian stooge. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? We didn't send you up here to shake your booty and chase broads. We sent you up to make nightmares!!STU-BONE tries to speak. All that comes out is a slo-mo DRAWL. HYPNOS Now find that nightmare juice and get to work. 'Cause you may be a free man during the day... but when you dream, your monkey ass is mine!He winds up - throws a ROUNDHOUSE PUNCH at STU-BONE'S FACE.INT. BEDROOM - NIGHTSTU-BONE sits up suddenly in bed. For a moment he's relieved - it wasall a dream. Then he realizes his FACE is swelling like aprizefighter's. His front tooth is loose. BLOOD is streaming from hisnose! STU-BONE Eep!INT. DOWNSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHTHe's awake, fully dressed, and fishing around in the pocket of JULIE'stopcoat. He finds her KEY RING and tiptoes furtively to the front door. STU-BONE Friggin' Hypnos. I'll show him...INT. SLEEP LAB - NIGHTHe unlocks the door and enters the darkened lab. Finds the dispensaryarea and kneels beside a LOCKED REFRIGERATOR. Then he shuffles throughthe keys on the ring until he finds one labelled "FRIDGE."On the top shelf is a corked beaker of purple fluid bearing the label"ONEIRIX" with red DANGER stickers all over it. STU-BONE takes it out,flashes a sinister grin, and EMPTIES ITS CONTENTS into a similar beaker.Then he refills the original from a hip flask and replaces it.He's just about to leave when he's startled by a series of SIMIAN GRUNTSand SQUEAKS - which are TRANSLATED in SUBTITLE: FEMALE BABOON Hey, handsome.He turns and spots a SEDUCTIVE FEMALE BABOON who's confmed to a CAGE inthe corner. The conversation continues in MONKEY TALK. FEMALE BABOON Yeah, you. Come here, good-looking. (beat) Why don't you let me out of this cage? STU-BONE Hey, I'd love to, baby, but...it'd put me in hot water. FEMALE BABOON (caressing his chin) I know how to be very, very grateful.He pulls out a MATCHBOOK and scribbles a number on it. STU-BONE Tell you what, angel. When you get out, give me a call...A LIGHT goes on suddenly in the outside hallway! STU-BONE tries to divefor cover, but the FEMALE BABOON grabs him by the belt and pulls himagainst the cage.Startled, he drops the ONEIRIX BEAKER - which rolls out into the hall!INT. HALLWAY - NIGHTThe beaker CLATTERS LOUDLY as it rolls through the lab door. STU-BONE'SHANDS grope through the doorway - but the FEMALE BABOON has got him bythe pants leg and won't let go, no matter how much he rattles the cage.He can't quite pull himself through the door...He unbuckles the belt. UNZIPS HIS PANTS. Keeps clawing toward thebeaker. But he still can't quite make it, and the BABOON won't let go.Now his pants are down around his knees. He keeps wriggling until hispants legs are entirely INSIDE OUT - and still he can't quite reach thebeaker! His shoes are caught in his pants cuffs! RRRRRIPPPPP...Freedom! Minus his pants, he GRABS THE BEAKER.In FG through all this is a dim teenage JANITOR pushing his electricfloor polisher. He has his Walkman on and he can't hear any of themayhem behind him. He sings along atonally with the music: JANITOR Gettin' jiggy wit' it - gettin' jiggy wit' it...INT. BEDROOM - NIGHTA disheveled STU-BONE, back from his secret mission, is trying to takehis clothes off so he won't wake JULIE. But she starts to rouse, so hejumps into bed fully dressed and pulls up the covers. JULIE Stu? Is that you? Where did you go? STU-BONE Me? Nowhere. I was asleep. JULIE Baby, don't lie. I know you went out. STU-BONE Not me. Nope. You must've been dreaming.She pulls the covers back. He's still wearing his topcoat, shoes, socks,and shorts...but NO PANTS. JULIE You're wearing a topcoat, Stu. - Where are your pants? STU-BONE Well, Miss Smarty, if I didn't go out, I wouldn't need any pants. Now would I?He pulls the covers up to his chin. The two of them lie there in thedark staring up at the ceiling.INT. STU'S LIVING ROOM - DAYThe entire Monkeybone brain trust has come to visit: HERB, syndicatehead MR. BOWERS, and several CORPORATE REPS hoping to arrange tie-indeals. Host STU-BONE has started to take on a simian look: moreprominent ears, flared nostrils, heavy beard stubble, etc.The BURGER GOD REP sets a tray of FAST FOOD in front of STU-BONE - thepackaging all covered with angelic haloed Monkeybones. BURGER GOD REP As you know, Burger God has 1700 outlets nationwide...we're prepared to back a major TV buy to launch our Mega Monkey Meal. (beat) Go ahead. Try a bite.STU-BONE takes a bite out of his Monkeyburger - looks pleased at first -then begins PICKING something out of his teeth. HERB What's the matter? STU-BONE I think it's a pig hair. (examining a contract) How much is McDonald's offering? HERB Less.STU-BONE immediately signs the contract and shakes hands with the BURGERGOD REP. HERB consults his agenda. HERB Oh, here's something. The city zoo is kicking off a fund-raising campaign. They wonder if you'd be willing to appear at a benefit. STU-BONE How much? HERB Well, nothing. It's a benefit. But we could probably get People and Entertainment Tonight to cover it. STU-BONE I get it. We could give the public the impression that we were doing something... charitable. Brilliant!! HERB And last...you remember Bill here, from the Bazoom Toy Company? He's got a little something I think you'll like.The TOY REP sets a LOCKBOX on the table. A stencil on the box reads "TOPSECRET." He pulls out a key and opens it to reveal......a tuxedoed, collector's-edition MONKEYBONE DOLL lying on a bed ofCRUSHED PURPLE VELVET. He carefully removes the treasure from its chest.Its right hand is hinged. The doll's thumb is UP ITS REAR. BAZOOM TOY REP It's a prototype. Code name "Little Jack Horner." Go on - pull out his thumb.STU-BONE stares at the doll - cautiously yanks its thumb out. We go toSLO-MO as the rising arm causes a NOXIOUS AEROSOL SPRAY to shoot out ofMonkeybone's ass!And we STAY in slo-mo as STU-BONE stares at the doll in wonderment andawe...a man in looooove.Still in slo-mo, the EXECS crack up, gag, hold their noses at the awfulstank of it. STU-BONE is the only one not laughing. He reaches out totouch the doll - to fondle it adoringly -- and suddenly we're back to REAL-TIME. BAZOOM TOY REP You know kids - they love anything gross... STU-BONE Kids? Kids?! This is a work of genius. This is art. This is the answer to all my prayers! (beat) Say - just a technical question - could you fill these babies up with a particulate solution of one part chemical enzyme to ten parts water? BAZOOM EXEC Well - I guess... STU-BONE Aww righhhhht!He breaks into RIOTOUS LAUGHTER and begins blasting monkeyfarts at HERBand the EXECS, who dive for cover under the conference table.EXT. STU AND JULIE'S HOUSE - DAYLaughter and back-slapping as STU-BONE walks his guests to their cars. STU So here's my idea. We do a giveaway at the zoo benefit. We get a big piÒata. We fill it with Monkeybone dolls - hundreds of 'em. HERB A piÒata. That's a great idea! STU-BONE You guys don't know it, but you just saved my ass!With a big grin, he pantomimes sticking a thumb up his ass, in obviousimitation of the doll, and then gives the thumbs-up sign. The unnervedEXECS gape at him as he goes back inside - he's developed an odd, lopinggait, and his arms swing outward in wide arcs as he walks. BURGER GOD EXEC Interesting fellow. HERB Head trauma.INT. STU'S KITCHEN - THAT MOMENTHe digs around under the sink, finds the purple beaker of ONEIRIX. Looksat the FARTING DOLL...and GRINS. STU-BONE This'll get him off my back!INSERT - TV SCREENA PROMO for the MONKEYBONE cartoon show. MONKEYBONE swings across thescreen on a vine, followed by a string of grinning, live-action FANSdoing a scratch 'n' sniff, pull-out-a-plum LINE DANCE. ANNOUNCER It's his world - we just live in it. Monkeybone! Back with six all-new episodes, starting -INT. LIVING ROOM - REVERSE ANGLE - NIGHTA distraught JULIE mutes the TV. Her friend ALICE is on the sofa besideher, having coffee and dessert. JULIE The thing is, I'm responsible for the way he's acting. It's the nightmare juice. It's got to be. ALICE Julie, that stuff probably saved his life. JULIE I can't explain this, Alice, but I'm not so sure it did. It's as if...he's not Stu any more. The Stu I love is gone! (beat) He spends all his time in the garage. He says he's...autographing.INT. GARAGE - NIGHTTIGHT ON the flask of ONEIRIX as STU-BONE picks it up.He's wearing a GAS MASK. He's rigged a CLOTHESLINE in the garage.MONKEYBONE DOLLS are clipped to it, ass-end up - forming a makeshiftASSEMBLY LINE. He dips a TURKEY BASTER into the flask...withdraws aquantity of purple fluid...plucks the FINGER out of the first doll'sbehind...- and plunges the TURKEY BASTER into the doll's hindquarters, filling itwith ONEIRIX!! The doll's buttocks take on the purple hue characteristicof Orangutans in heat. STU-BONE holds the doll at arm's length and pullsits finger - launching a purple puff of SPIKED NIGHTMARE GAS. STU-BONE Yeah, baby! Nightmare-in-a-butt! (looking around) Okay...guinea pig, guinea pig...EXT. GARAGE/BACK YARD - NIGHTSTU-BONE steps out into the driveway and hears a low growl - BUSTER isgiving him the stinkeye from behind the picket fence. STU-BONE's eyeslight up with inspiration. STU-BONE C'mere, boy...c'mere, ole buddy...INT. LIVING ROOM - A MOMENT LATER - NIGHTLOUD BARKING outside. JULIE wanders over toward the window. ALICE Listen. Let's bring him in for some tests. I guarantee you're overreacting.JULIE lifts the curtain - and sees STU-BONE in his gas mask, bent overin a weird crab like stance, chasing BUSTER around the yard with theMonkeybone doll.JULIE doesn't seem especially surprised - but ALICE's mouth falls open. JULIE Actually, no, I don't think I'm overreacting.EXT. BACK YARD - THAT MOMENT - NIGHTBUSTER is apparently ALONE now - he's pacing in circles under a HIGHTREE BRANCH, staring up and GROWLING. Someone throws a PINE CONE at thepicket fence. BUSTER'S HEAD TURNS, just for an instant - STU-BONE KREEEGAHHHH!!!- and STU-BONE plunges out of the tree, DIRECTLY ON TOP OF THE DOG! Thetwo of them GRAPPLE, rolling around on the grass.For a moment it looks like this battle royale could go either way. ThenSTU-BONE gets on top of BUSTER, STRADDLES HIM, shoves the ASS of theMonkeybone doll up against his muzzle...FOONT! A purple cloud of NIGHTMARE GAS hits BUSTER in the face. The doggoes limp. His eyes roll back in his head. He starts to TWITCH. STU-BONE Sweet dreams, you little bastard!Disheveled but triumphant, STU-BONE stands up, pounds his chest withboth fists, and lets out a Tarzanian ROAR. Lights go on all over theneighborhood. ANGRY NEIGHBORS poke their heads out the windows.INT. GARAGE - NIGHTSTU-BONE skulks back into the garage. He throws back a tarp, revealingHUNDREDS of boxed Monkeybone dolls, stacked so high they fill an entirewall of the garage. He pulls out his turkey baster, cranks up theclothesline, and goes to work.EXT. BACK YARD - THAT MOMENT - NIGHTCAMERA TRACKS IN on the twitching face of BUSTER, and we seeBUSTER'S DREAM (BLACK & WHITE)A German-expressionist nightmare, all low angles and heavy shadows.We're in some kind of OPERATING ROOM, where a struggling PATIENT isbeing wheeled in on a tall, creaking GURNEY. Four ORDERLIES in surgicalmasks are holding him down.The PATIENT is BUSTER. And the ORDERLIES...are CATS.A CAT SURGEON draws the sheet back. Looks at the spreadeagled BUSTER.And brandishes a big nasty pair of GARDEN SHEARS.INT. HYP'S HIDEAWAY - THAT MOMENT - NIGHTThe Dark Town audience is scratching its collective head at Buster'sdream, which is showing in one of HYP'S NIGHTMARE ORBS. An angry HYPNOSslams down the phone and storms across the dance floor to his bigcircular bed. HYPNOS Dog dreams!! That stinkin' monkey. I can't believe it. We give him a body, and he sends us ...dogs.A FELINE BEAUTY embraces him from behind, pulls him onto the bed. KITTY Let's not think about dogs. Let's think about pussycats. Meeowwwwwwrrrr....She draws ONE SHARP CLAW lightly down his chest. He gives her a now-you're-talkin' grin and hits a switch - causing the big circular bed toROTATE off the dance floor and into the boudoir.As it turns, we see KITTY'S PAW closing discreetly around a KEY CHAIN onthe nightstand...INT. DUNGEON - RIGHTSTU's curled up on the dank floor when he's awakened by the sound of aVISITOR in the corridor outside - KITTY. She passes a sack containingFOOD and BOTTLED WATER through the bars - and SHUSHES the astonished STUbefore he can speak. KITTY Shh! You'll need it when you're traveling.Glancing back at the GUARDS, she pulls a KEY from her cleavage. KITTY Don't ask where I got it. STU You can't do this! You'll get in trouble! KITTY You're the only true-hearted man I ever met. You find a way back to that girl of yours and make her happy. STU How am I gonna get past the guards? KITTY I'll worry about the guards. (loudly) OKAY, STU. SEE YOU IN A DAY OR TWO.She turns down the corridor. STU stands there for a beat, GAPING at thekey in his hand.Then he hears the sound of CARNAGE outside. A FEROCIOUS, BLOODY BATTLEseems to be underway. Realizing that KITTY must be in trouble, he usesthe key to unlock the dungeon door.INT. DUNGEON - THAT MOMENT - NIGHTHe finds KITTY hunched in the corner on all fours, surrounded by bloodand tufts of fur and an abandoned GUARD'S HAT. KITTY Go. Just go. STU Thanks, Kitty, I'll never forget you for th--She looks up at him, feline eyes aglow. There's a three-foot-longRODENT'S TAIL dangling out of her mouth. STU I'll really...never...forget you.He races off as KITTY resumes her feast. The sound of fighting hasroused the other DUNGEON DWELLERS, and when they realize the dungeondoor is open they come rushing out en masse.Then the PANEL opens. They hear FOOD raining down behind them. HITCHCOCKis the first to turn back - then STEPHEN KING - then ATILLA. A momentlater they're back to their old habits, climbing over one another to getat a half-empty box of Raisinets. WIPE TO:INT. SLEEP LAB - DAYThe usual gang sitting around at their computer terminals, etc. JULIE iscoolly reading NOTEBOOK ENTRIES into a TAPE RECORDER. JULIE "4/17: Subject, when unaware of observation, prefers to hold eating utensils...with feet. Successfully carves turkey roll holding eating utensils...with feet." ALICE They had a case like that at Johns Hopkins. Wires got crossed between hands and feet. CLARISSA Great lead. I'll try and find it on the net. JULIE "4/18: Subject climbs backyard tree...to perform elimination. When confronted with product... blames it on family dog."DEAD SILENCE from the mortified group. They never had a case like thatat Johns Hopkins. JULIE somehow keeps a stiff upper lip - deeplyembarrassed for STU, but a scientist nonetheless. HUTCH Seems perfectly obvious. He's been possessed by a monkey!The others all GLOWER at HUTCH for this egregious display of bad taste.EXT. GARAGE - AFTERNOONSTU-BONE and HERB are standing outside the garage in formal attire as acrew of ZOO WORKERS load MONKEYBONE DOLLS into a pickup. HERB You're really gonna pop the question? STU-BONE Got the ring. Got the airline tickets. Soon as they break that piÒata, we'll grab a cab - and it's off to the land of palm trees and coconuts. HERB I can't believe you. You used to hate being the center of attention. Now you're proposing, in public, at a benefit. STU-BONE Yeah, I was thinking...I mean, I'm a celebrity now, do I really want to get married? But on the other hand, if you're married, they can't testify against you.HERB wonders if this is a joke, decides it is, and forces a chuckle.INT. BEDROOM - DAYJULIE is getting dressed for the benefit when the PHONE RINGS. JULIE Hello? Oh, Hutch - what?INTERCUT - JULIE AND HUTCHHUTCH is at the sleep lab, standing over the open refrigerator. HUTCH The Nightmare Juice! It's gone! Somebody switched it for a beaker of grape Kool-Aid!! JULIE Kool-Aid!? But who'd would want to -Her eyes move to the WINDOW - to STU-BONE out by the garage. JULIE Okay. Call the police. I'll be right over.INT. SLEEP LAB - LATE AFTERNOONTwo DETECTIVES examining the scene of the crime. JULIE The technical name is Oneirix. It's an enzyme. It's present in the brains of - DETECTIVE (cutting her off; writing) Yeah, yeah...Nightmare juice. DETECTIVE II And there's been no sign of a break-in? HUTCH Holy shit...the pants. (remembering) The janitor found a pair of torn-up pants. It was the same night the monkey tipped her cage over. Remember that, Julie? JULIE (suddenly afraid) Yeah...I remember it vividly.EXT. ZOO - DAYLIVERIED WAITERS scurrying all about in preparation for the benefit. ZOOWORKERS set up tables and chairs underneath a giant CANOPY.STU-BONE watches with satisfaction as the last of the DOLLS is loadedinto a giant piÒata in the shape of STANLEY. WIPE TO:INT. DEATH'S OFFICE - NIGHTThe big creaky swivel chair swings around, revealing DEATH. DEATH Now, if I may ask - what kind of idiot sneaks into the Land of Death twice?The party he's addressing is STU - who's stretched out horizontally,strapped to a medieval TORTURE RACK, with a whole posse of GRIM REAPERSstanding guard around him. STU You're mad at me. Great. You have every right to be. But we're both mad at Dark Town. We're both mad at Hypnos. DEATH Oh, sure. Now you're gonna tell me it was all his idea. You were completely innocent - STU I'm not going to tell you that. I wanted that E- ticket. I wanted it so bad I'd stare you right in the face to get it - and I'd do the same again. DEATH Why?? STU I have a girl up there. And I never - I should've - I just want to tell her I love her. DEATH I'm a simple man. I'm just doing my job. I enjoy my job. Why does everyone want to make it difficult for me? Stealing tickets, switching bodies...it is so irresponsible. STU Death, I'm trying to make things right. Take my soul. Turn me into a paper doll. But give me just one lousy hour. DEATH Well - you'd need a body.DEATH gestures for the REAPERS to unshackle STU. DEATH If it wasn't for that comic strip of yours, I wouldn't be doing this. But a good chuckle is darned hard to come by. (chortling) That one where Monkeybone stole the soap cake out of the urinal - I thought I would die. STU Coming from you, that's quite a compliment. DEATH De nada. Now, come here...bend over...before I change my mind. STU Bend over?DEATH rears back and KICKS HIM, full-force, SMACK IN THE ASS. Thesupernatural might of the blow sends STU ROCKETING UPWARD THROUGH THECEILING!!INT. HOSPITAL - OPERATING ROOM - DAYA TEAM OF SURGEONS. The lead SURGEON has his arm buried up to the elbowin the open torso of an ORGAN DONOR. SURGEON Okay...detaching the left kidney...SCREAMS ALL AROUND as the ORGAN DONOR sits BOLT UPRIGHT! The startledSURGEON drops the kidney back into place. ORGAN DONOR What the - who the hell am I?? SURGEON You're an organ donor! ORGAN DONOR Am I dead?!? SURGEON The chute didn't open. We kind of assumed - ORGAN DONOR I need this body. Just for a few minutes. I'll bring it back, okay?The ORGAN DONOR grabs a lab coat from a nearby rack and races out. (Andsince STU is temporarily occupying the DONOR's body, we will henceforthrefer to him as O.D. STU.)INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - A MOMENT LATERO.D. STU comes racing around a corridor. His LAB COAT is already coveredwith gore, and he's having trouble holding his GUTS in. His PANCREASspills out onto the floor just as two DOCTORS stroll past. DOCTOR (eyeing the pancreas) Might have someone take a look at that. O.D. STU Oh. Yeah. Thanks.The DOCTORS move on. O.D. STU spots a JANITOR'S CART with a roll of DUCTTAPE on one shelf. He WRAPS IT TIGHTLY around his midsection to keep hisinnards from falling out. Then he runs for it.Now the TEAM OF SURGEONS rounds the corner in hot pursuit. The leadSURGEON spots O.D. STU at the end of the corridor and takes off afterhim. But he SLIPS on the PANCREAS and goes sprawling!The pancreas goes flying down the hall, where it gets SQUASHED in rapidsuccession by a GURNEY and by a little old lady's MOTORIZED WHEELCHAIR.When the SURGEONS retrieve it, it's a hunk of pulp. LEAD SURGEON I think it can still be saved. Put it on ice.EXT. ZOO - DAYGUESTS are beginning to arrive for the benefit. In the cages andhabitats, animals stare up at a gigantic MONKEYBONE BALLOON.EXT. ZOO - ANOTHER ANGLE - DAYThe BAZOOM TOY REP is rounding a corner when HERB pops out from behind atree and BLASTS HIM with a jolt of purple gas from a Monkeybone doll! Hesputters and coughs...Then he grabs the doll away and blasts HERB right back! The two of themchase each other around the tree, giggling. The BAZOOM REP'S WIFE, inher formal gown, affects a look of supreme mortification.EXT. STU'S HOUSE - BACK YARD - DAYO.D. STU climbs over the fence, finds a hidden key, and lets himself in.INT. HOUSE - STUDIO - DAYO.D. STU rushes frantically from room to room. O.D. STU (o.s.) DOC? DOC?? - JULIE?No reply - the joint's empty. O.D. STU enters the studio and spots aNEWSPAPER on his drafting table. The paper is folded back to a bigDISPLAY AD for the benefit: "MEET STU MILEY AND MONKEYBONE - 8 PMTONIGHT!" He checks the wall clock: time is short.Reaching into the drawer of the drafting table, he pulls out a TACKLEBOX which contains old brushes...and a small VELVET BOX. O.D. STU opensthe velvet box to reveal Grandma's ANTIQUE RING.He hears GROWLING behind him - it's BUSTER. The dog looks up, cocks hishead - and begins WAGGING HIS TAIL. Somehow, even though STU's in adifferent body, BUSTER recognizes him.EXT. STU AND JULIE'S HOUSE - DAYO.D. STU exits, ring in hand. Behind him, BUSTER is throwing a fit -barking, FLINGING himself at the screen door. He wants to come along!A BUS pulls up at the corner, and O.D. STU boards it. BUSTER throwseverything he's got at the door - and it gives! He takes off after STU.EXT. ZOO - GROUNDS - DAYAs HERB is walking toward the refreshment table, an ODD LOOK crosses hisface. All at once he begins to TUG at his collar. He yanks his TIE off...doffs his JACKET onto the pavement...POV HERB - PSYCHO-VISIONThe nightmare drug is kicking in! The whole zoo SWIMS around him. All atonce he's being ATTACKED...by a HORDE of EMPTY CLOTHES!!EXT. ZOO - GROUNDS - DAYJULIE has arrived at the zoo. She's wandering zombie-like through thefood court, flanked by her friends ALICE and CLARISSA. JULIE Whatever he's done, I'm responsible for it. CLARISSA That's not true, Julie. It's not true. ALICE This is not about your guilt, Julie. There could be innocent people in danger. CLARISSA He's not the same guy. He's not your Stu. (beat) I didn't want to tell you this, but the other day he pinched me on the butt. ALICE I didn't want to tell you this, but the other day he tried to mount me from behind! Look, you have to tell the police. JULIE Tell them what? I don't know anything concrete. All I have is a feeling.All of a sudden, they hear SHOUTS and LAUGHTER from the area of thereptile house. In the distance, ZOO SECURITY GUARDS are chasing a NAKEDMAN through the crowds of formally-dressed partygoers. CLARISSA Oh my God, we've got a flasher. JULIE That...that's Herb!The GUARDS catch hold of HERB and drag him away past JULIE, ALICE, andCLARISSA. He doesn't recognize any of them. He's PSYCHOTIC: HERB CLOTHES! Beware of clothes. They're working together. All of them. Shirts...pants... ENSEMBLES...!The three women exchange looks of stupefied HORROR.INT. MUNI BUS - LATE AFTERNOONPASSENGERS are holding their noses, frantically pulling on the BELL ROPEto alert the driver that they want off. As we move toward the back wesee O.D. STU sitting alone, with rows of empty seats on either side.He looks rough. He's bone-white, his taped-up lab coat is crusted withblood, and he never did find any shoes. Also, it's a hot night and he'sstarting to get a little ripe. FLIES are buzzing all around him.EXT. STREETS - THAT MOMENTBUSTER runs down the sidewalk as fast as his stumpy little legs willcarry him, in pursuit of the BUS.INT. CAR - MOVING - LATE AFTERNOONThe team of SURGEONS has been tracking O.D. STU across the city! Throughthe windshield they see the BUS pulling up outside the zoo. O.D. STUhops out and sprints across the parking lot. SURGEON IT'S HIM! HE'S GETTING OFF!INT. ZOO - ENTRANCE - LATE AFTERNOONO.D. STU doesn't even stop at the ticket window. He VAULTS over theturnstile, knocking benefit guests aside. The SURGEONS aren't farbehind. They race up to the ticket window - SURGEON Did you see a corpse running this way?The TICKET-TAKER shrugs and points off in O.D. STU's direction.INT. BANQUET TENT - THAT MOMENT - LATE AFTERNOONThe last stages of dinner. WAITERS are already clearing plates, andalthough JULIE has barely touched her food she sends her plate away.Onstage a BAND is playing tasteful zoo jazz. When the number ends, STU-BONE approaches the dais and leans into the mike. STU-BONE As emcee I want to thank you all for joining us at this swingin' bash...it's a special night for the birds, and the lions, and the monkeys, but it's also a special night for - (tapping his chest) - this monkey. And it's special because of a very special lady. Her name is - (checking a note in his pocket) Julie McElroy. Just kiddin', Julie. Stand up.JULIE stands reluctantly. The CROWD APPLAUDS. STU-BONE And to make this special night extra-special, I'd like to do a special number...especially for you.A DISCO BALL lowers. STU-BONE turns to welcome a group of BACKUP SOULSINGERS who are just joining the band on stage.The TENT begins to ROCK with a throbbing beat. And STU-BONE launchesinto a wild-eyed, hip-shaking parody of Mick Jagger singing the RollingStones' "MONKEY MAN"!As he sings, STU-BONE gyrates over toward JULIE, bumping and grindinglike the cartoon-monkey sex machine he is. He waves his mike to thecrowd, urging everyone to join in. JULIE gasps in disbelief, but thecrowd is eating it up - clapping and singing along with STU-BONE.He gestures for pretty women to join him out on the floor. He opens hisshirt at the neck, exposing a hitherto unseen plenitude of chest hair.He pulls out a hanky to mop his brow and tosses it to the crowd. Hewipes his armpits with a second hanky and tosses it to the crowd. Heblows his nose into a third and tosses it to the crowd.Then he JUMPS UP ON THE TABLES and shakes his booty wildly,≠ strutting inand out among the dessert plates. If the real Jagger could see him, hewould creep home a sad and broken man.For the big finale, he jumps off the table and SLIDES ACROSS THE FLOORto JULIE'S table - arriving ON HIS KNEES. STU-BONE I am just a Monkey Man! I'm glad you are a monkey...woman...too. (soft voice) How about it, Julie?He pulls out a RING BOX and hands it to the beet-red JULIE. The crowdlets out a collective GASP - followed by WILD APPLAUSE.She stares down at the ring - a big vulgar sparkler. She can't speak. STU-BONE We'll hop a plane tonight. An island ceremony. An Abba Dabba honeymoon! JULIE It looks so...new. STU-BONE It is new. Why wouldn't it be new? JULIE But the heirloom ring. Your grandmother's ring... STU-BONE Heirloom? Huh? You want a used ring - ?No reply. She's taking a long time to say yes. The audience ismuttering. STU-BONE Ju-leeee... Operators are standing by... Offer expires at midnight, December 31...Suddenly a GORE-STAINED FIGURE bursts into the tent. O.D. STU DOC! DOC! DON'T DO IT! HE ISN'T STU! HE'S MONKEYBONE!!!JULIE's jaw drops. She barely gets a glimpse of O.D. STU before the ZOOGUARDS arrive to haul him away. STU-BONE Boy, the nuts are out tonight. What'd that creep call you - ? JULIE He called me "Doc."- which STU-BONE never does. Someone in the crowd yells... GUEST HEY MONKEYBONE!!STU-BONE turns and does a simian COMEDY SHTICK for the crowd. STU-BONE That's me, folks! Monkeybone! Let's party!By the time he's done scratching his ribs, JULIE has vanished!EXT. ZOO GROUNDS - LATE AFTERNOONShe races out of the tent - grabs a passing ZOO GUARD. JULIE Please. Where did you take that man...?The GUARD points to an ANIMAL CONTROL VAN. JULIE sees O.D. STU peeringout through a small barred panel. Their eyes meet... JULIE Who are you? Why did you say those things? O.D. STU Oh, Doc, it's all a mixup. We were in the land of death. He stole my e-ticket. That's how he got my body, see? All they had left for me was this corpse!JULIE digests this, nods professionally, and turns to walk away. O.D. STU Don't walk away, Doc! He's only here to give people nightmares! (no response) Doc! Please! Don't you remember the dream? They were pulling the plug - I called out to you - and you heard me. Remember?This stops JULIE cold. Her spine is tingling. She turns slowly, a singletear rolling down her cheek. And then... JULIE BUSTER?!?The dog runs right past JULIE and bounds up to the animal control van,barking his head off. Now JULIE is starting to believe. She turns - JULIE Stu...how? O.D. STU I had to come back, Julie. I had to give you this.THROUGH THE BARS he hands her the little box containing Grandma'santique ring. O.D. STU I meant to give it to you before. The night we crashed. I was so happy, Julie, I...try to remember me like that, okay? Not like this.She slips the ring on her finger - looks up at O.D. STU with TEARSWELLING in her eyes. He makes an odd SNORKELING kind of noise. JULIE What's wrong? O.D. STU I'm crying too. I just don't have any tears. I'm all dried up.JULIE TURNS. The two DETECTIVES we saw in the sleep lab have justarrived at the gate, and ALICE and CLARISSA are leading them over. ALICE Detective, please let this man out of the van.EXT. ZOO GROUNDS - PI—ATA AREA - THAT MOMENTThe PARTYGOERS are lined up under the gigantic Stanley-shaped PI—ATA,which is hanging from a tree. A TUBBY BANKER in a blindfold takes a goodhard whack. CRACKS are beginning to appear... STU-BONE Okay, folks, it's piÒata time - you know the rules - five bucks a pop - and remember, it's all for the benefit of our friends the animals! (eyes brightening) Oooooh! This one's on me!The next contestant is a GORGEOUS WOMAN. He blindfolds her and embracesher from behind to help her with her grip on the bat. STU-BONE Choke up, baby. That's right. Choke up!Suddenly he notices the COPS marching up with JULIE, O.D. STU and co. intow. He freezes, terrified - BACKS AWAY from the BABE -- and catches a BAT IN THE FACE. Several people rush up to help him asthe COPS consult with the BENEFIT ORGANIZERS... ORGANIZER I don't understand, officer. This is a benefit. Surely this can wait until - COP Sorry, ma'am...we need to question Mr. Miley on a most urgent matter. JULIE Stop this. Now. Those dolls have been tampered with. They're toxic!O.D. STU comes marching through the crowd. He passes a LIFE-SIZEDDISPLAY of Stanley and Monkeybone...GRABS THE BACKPACK off the Stanleyfigure...and proceeds deliberately toward STU-BONE. O.D. STU MONKEYBONE...BACK IN THE PACK.The old command seems to retain its magical power, because STU-BONEclutches his gut as if stricken at the sound of it. O.D. STU I mean it this time. Back in the pack.STU-BONE bends over - jerks and twitches - becoming more SIMIAN by themoment as O.D. STU approaches. STU-BONE Stu...I can explain...I was sick of being a figment, see? It's awful being a figment. It's degrading! And I never really wanted to give people nightmares. I just told 'em that so they'd help me get a body. O.D. STU Yeah - my body. Back in the pack, you simian shitbird!The COPS are tres confused by all this - COP Ma'am, can you give me some idea of what's going on here?- but JULIE holds them back so the scene can play itself out. Now STU-BONE is doing a weird little monkey dance - PLAYING UP to the puzzledcrowd, who laugh and snicker, wondering what to make of all this. STU-BONE Laugh, damn you...laugh at the sidekick...the happy little monkey. He doesn't have any feelings. He's just a figment of your immagination!He turns suddenly - GRABS THE BAT from the puzzled BABE - STU-BONE GIMME THAT GODDAM BAT!He wails on the piÒata like Ken Griffey Jr. O.D. STU tries to stop him,but it's too late - the piÒata BURSTS, and hundreds of PURPLE-ASSEDMONKEYBONE DOLLS spill out onto the ground!An equal number of RABID PARTYGOERS surge forward to scoop them up. TheCOPS swing into action, trying to hold the crowd back... COP HE'S GETTING AWAY!STU-BONE climbs a tree and JUMPS from a branch onto one of the TWINJUNGLE TOWERS at the pavilion - begins CLIMBING toward the giantMONKEYBONE BALLOON moored up above!O.D. STU sees him - pulls away from JULIE - O.D. STU I LOVE YOU! JULIE STU!!STU-BONE unties the mooring rope and wraps it around his midsection. Nowfreed, the balloon LIFTS INTO THE AIR, CARRYING HIM ALOFT!O.D. STU climbs up the opposite tower as the balloon starts to driftaway. He GRABS HOLD of the MOORING ROPE as it whips past.And the TEAM OF SURGEONS - who have been combing the grounds in searchof O.D. STU - catch sight of him just as he FLOATS OFF INTO THE AIR, ONTHE END OF THE ROPE! HEAD SURGEON LOOK! IT'S HIM!EXT. ZOO GROUNDS - ON BALLOON - MOVINGThey rise to an altitude of ten or twelve feet. But O.D. STU'sadditional weight pulls the balloon back DOWN - and both of them hit theground! They have to RUN at top speed just to keep pace with theballoon! STU-BONE Let...go...you...dingleberry...As he's trying to KICK O.D. STU off the rope, a GUST OF WIND catches theballoon and LIFTS IT HIGH INTO THE AIR.For about three seconds. The boys tumble to earth, off-balance, in aheap, BOUNCING along the pavement. The balloon pulls them over aWROUGHT-IRON FENCE and drags them through the ALLIGATOR PIT. Giant jawssnap as the boys glide overhead like bait on a hook.As the balloon LIFTS UP AGAIN, O.D. STU hauls himself along the lengthof the rope.He gets close enough to GRAB STU-BONE's LEG. STU-BONE reaches down topush him away...grabs a fistful of DUCT TAPE......and RIP! The tape TEARS - exposing the great big GASH in O.D. STU'smidsection! He tries to pull himself together...EXT. FOOD COURT - THAT MOMENT - LATE AFTERNOONA SERVER ladles out a cup of PUNCH from a big silver PUNCHBOWL.Something PINK comes plummeting out of the sky - and the next thing heknows, the SERVER is DRENCHED!The SURGEONS come rushing up. They all stick their hands in thepunchbowl at once...fishing out O.D. STU'S KIDNEY! HEAD SURGEON Put it on ice. I think it can still be saved!One of the TEAM finds an ice cooler full of soft drinks. In it goes.EXT. TIGER HABITAT - LATE AFTERNOONBOTH BOYS SCREAM as the balloon drags them perilously close to the RAZORWIRE atop a tall storm fence.They clear it by inches - but they don't have much time to celebrate.They're dangling over the Bengal Tiger exhibit, and the great cats areLEAPING INTO THE AIR trying to snag them!As O.D. STU squirms out of reach, his LIVER drops out...EXT. GROUNDS - TIGER HABITAT - LATE AFTERNOONIt lands close enough to the FENCE that one of the SURGEONS thinks hecan reach it. He reaches through the bars and sees a pack of BENGALTIGERS racing toward him! He manages to grab ONE END of the liver - buta TIGER gets the other end -- and it's a TUG-OF-WAR until the tiger BITES the liver in half, sendingthe terrified SURGEON sprawling on the pavement outside the bars! TheHEAD SURGEON examines the remaining half-liver... HEAD SURGEON Put it on ice. I think it can still be saved.ANGLE ON BALLOONSTU-BONE socks O.D. STU hard across the face! He lets go of his incision...and his SMALL INTESTINE falls out! Since it's still connected at bothends, the intestine forms a great big LOOP...EXT. FOOD COURT - SERVING TABLE - LATE AFTERNOONThe SERVER has just brought out a new PUNCHBOWL full of nice cleanpunch. He sets it down on the table and is about to ladle out a cupfulwhen STU flies past overhead. His intestinal LOOP slides across thetable, knocking over glasses, snagging the PUNCHBOWL at its base......and YANKING IT right off the table! Bystanding GUESTS are DRENCHED inpunch as the punch bowl FLIES END OVER END......and, with the sound of a GONG being struck, BEANS a member of theSURGICAL TEAM from behind!! Naturally it's the guy who's lugging the ICECHEST full of O.D. STU's organs. When the punchbowl strikes, he GOESDOWN HARD, PITCHING the ice chest...... at a pair of COPS who are over by the piÒata, loading CONFISCATEDMONKEYBONE DOLLS into a SHOPPING CART. The ICE CHEST knocks them offtheir feet - and sends the SHOPPING CART rolling downhill!The COPS try to get up, but they skid every which way on the SPILLED ICEunderneath. On top of which, the SURGICAL TEAM is all over them, playingGRAB-ASS with the COPS as they try to retrieve precious organs.The HEAD SURGEON kneels beside his fallen comrade, the guy who gotBEANED by the punchbowl, and feels for a pulse. HEAD SURGEON Put him on ice. I think he can still be saved!EXT. ZOO GROUNDS - LATE AFTERNOONCOPS sprint downhill, trying to intercept the runaway SHOPPING CART fullof confiscated dolls. Too late. The CART slams into a fence and goesass-over-teakettle, dumping its contents into the PENGUIN HABITAT...INT. HYP'S HIDEAWAY - THAT MOMENTHYPNOS and an audience of DARKTOWNERS peer into the nightmare orb. Theysee a Keystone-Cops vision of fur-clad ESKIMOS, with clubs andspearguns, amid a colony of terrified PENGUINS. HYPNOS Not again. THAT STINKING MONKEY!!!AERIAL SHOT - STU'S POV - MOVINGSTU gets an idea as he looks down at his dangling INTESTINE. He beginsFEEDING IT OUT - giving himself more rope to work with - and when it'slong enough, begins SWINGING IT like a LASSO!EXT. WATER BUFFALO HABITAT - LATE AFTERNOONWATER BUFFALO graze Buddha-like as STU'S INTESTINE snags one of themaround the HORNS. The lasso draws taut - and holds!ANGLE ON BALLOON - O.D. STU AND STU-BONEThe balloon is moored in place again! O.D. STU pulls himself upward,toward STU-BONE, who KICKS AT him frantically!EXT. ZOO GROUNDS - LATE AFTERNOONA COP pulls his sidearm and TAKES AIM at the now-stabilized balloon. COP I think I can bring 'em down.ANGLE ON BALLOON - MOVING - LATE AFTERNOONBLAM! The cop's shot hits the giant MONKEYBONE BALLOON smack in the ass.With a gale-force helium FART, the balloon ZOOMS UPWARD. The INTESTINEsnaps. STU-BONE and O.D. STU shoot off into the air!ON STU-BONE & O.D. STU - AERIALAT APOGEE. They exchange a LOOK as the last gasp of helium hisses out ofthe gigantic balloon. Then it occurs to them to look DOWN...THEIR POV - PARKING LOT - OVERHEAD ANGLE...at the tiny CARS parked far, far below. They must be close to ahundred feet up in the air - and all at once the ground is coming upfast!EXT. ZOO - ON JULIE & CROWD - LATE AFTERNOONJULIE et al SCREAM IN HORROR as the two bodies plunge earthward.ON STU-BONE & O.D. STU - FALLING...and falling and falling until they SMACK INTO the hot asphalt of theparking lot, the deflated balloon settling over them like a shroud.Their BODIES have stopped - but their SPIRITS keep on falling...AERIAL SHOT - SKIES OVER DARK TOWN - NIGHT...and the fight continues - even into the afterlife! As they plummetdown through the heavens, they REVERT to their true personae. It's STUvs. MONKEYBONE, creator vs. sidekick, still duking it out - like acouple of skydivers fighting over a single parachute!EXT. STREETS - DARK TOWN - RIGHTDARKTOWNERS pour into the streets to watch the epic struggle overhead.They're placing bets, rooting their favorites on. Then...THE GROUND SHAKES AND THUNDERS - and the DARKTOWNERS scatter in alldirections, DIVING for the nearest hiding place. They seem to know whatthis mighty rumbing signifies.The E-TICKET RIDE pops out of the ground - begins to RISE into the air -and a COLOSSUS appears beneath it! A FIFTY-FOOT WARRIOR clad in JAPANESECEREMONIAL ARMOR, he TOWERS over Dark Town, so mighty and enormous thathe can wear the E-TICKET RIDE as a hat!!ON STU AND MONKEYBONE - FALLINGSTU lands a HAYMAKER, and the two of them break loose of each other -ON ARMORED COLOSSUS - THAT MOMENT- LANDING in the upturned palms of the COLOSSUS! STU watches indisbelief as a PANEL pops open in the giant's CHEST, revealing... STU DEATH!! DEATH I dress up when I want to make an impression. - So how'd it go? STU Fine, thanks. Saw my girl, said goodbye, everything's gonna be okay. (shrugging) I guess I'm yours now. MONKEYBONE Death, I'd like to point out that none of this was my fault. The roots of this tragedy go back to a callous, uncaring society that -DEATH lets out a MIGHTY ROAR and CLAPS HIS GREAT METAL HANDS together.Man and monkey are surely squished. But when DEATH opens his hands, STUis still there, cupped safely in his palms. STU Hey. Where's Monkeybone? DEATH Back in your head, where he belongs. (beat) No offense, Stu, but on your own you're kinda vanilla. I didn't want to send you back without him. STU Back? You're sending me back? DEATH It's irregular, but...I just love that strip of yours. I figure I'll take the "Family Circus" guy instead. STU Death! Thank you! DEATH Thank me next time you see me.He sends STU ROCKETING UPWARD INTO THE STRATOSPHERE with a single flickof his finger. Then he turns... DEATH Ohhhh, Hypnos??A BUNCH OF FRIGHTENED DARKTOWNERS pitch the quivering satyr out into themiddle of the town square. HYPNOS Death! So nice to see you. I can explain -He looks up tremulously. A GIANT SHADOW falls across him...followed by aGIANT ARMORED FOOT.EXT. ZOO - DUSKJULIE SOBS in a POLICEMAN's arms at the exit to the zoo. JULIE I don't know what happened. All I know is...he was in a coma...and then he came back...and now he's gone again.They wander out. Behind them, a squad of COPS are confiscatingMONKEYBONE DOLLS from squawling children as they file out.EXT. ZOO - PARKING LOT - DUSKThe TWO CORPSES, on gurneys, are being loaded into the back of thepolice ambulance. The SURGEON and his team come wandering up. SURGEON Excuse me. We lost a corpse - we saw him heading this way... DRIVER I got a couple of fresh ones in the back. Help yourself.The SURGEON pulls the sheet off CORPSE #1 - aka O.D. STU. SURGEON I'll be. It's him all right. Still dead...The SECOND CORPSE sits up abruptly. His sheet falls away, revealing STU...the real STU...now back in his own body! The SURGEON and his TEAM runaway from the ambulance SHRIEKING.EXT. ZOO - ANOTHER ANGLE - DUSKBUSTER barks like a maniac. JULIE turns and sees an IMPOSSIBLE VISIONambling toward her...STU, alive and kicking. She can't believe it's himuntil he grabs her and pulls her close. JULIE Is it you? Is it really you this time?He pulls her close and kisses her long and hard, quelling all doubts. JULIE Oh, Stu. Tell me I'm not dreaming. STU Baby...you're asking the wrong guy.They wander off, arm in arm. STU TUGS at the seat of his pants. JULIE What's the matter? STU My tail itches.He DOES A TAKE as he realizes what he's just said - but JULIE smiles,and he shrugs it off. Johnny Mercer's "DREAM" comes up underneath as thereunited lovers walk off into the moonlight, and we FADE OUT. \ No newline at end of file