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Im probably the only one on this planet that can't stand David Attenborough's voice I used to love watching nature documentaries with him commentating don't get me wrong. But one night I was watching a deep sea documentary coming down on acid and molly, and I smoked some weed and went into full blown psychosis, and instantly reality changed, his voice was speaking directly to me, and if I didn't listen to what he was saying then I would either be stuck in time forever or something terrible would happen..I think it was both. I know it was obviously all delusion but in this psychosis state it is real as fuck and the most terrifying feeling you could imagine. The freaky thing I still can't understand is what he was saying would REPEAT until I understood and listened, which furthered the delusion it was real. It all felt like it made sense in that state which terrifies me because I'm normally a very logical person.. well any logic goes right out the window let me tell you. Anyway I just felt like sharing this strange story which was the beginning of the worst nightmare imaginable. His voice still triggers me to this day. Because after that happened I then hallucinated that I accidentally killed my brother and so I stabbed myself to death in front of my own mother, dying over and over again, just wishing for it all to end. Because it all felt so real seeping with blood, very heavy body, consciousness fading to black tbh to this day I have a hard time being percent convinced nothing ever happened, especially after reading about the multiverse theory. In fact there's this feeling deep within myself that it fucking had to have happened because it was all too real, but at the same time I realize we hallucinate our normal reality, so what even is real? And our brains are very powerful, so I know it must be possible to generate it all. But there's that 'what if' feeling that haunts me every day, and I know most people reading this will think, "no shit it didnt happen, you were in psychosis" but fuck man, no one else but me was there, and I feel so alone in all of this. Im doing a lot better though, i have good days, but once I'm alone these thoughts all come back and it eats me alive
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Have any of you experienced or felt the presence of close parallel worlds?
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Parallel universes are percent real Check my older posts please
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Is it possible to overcome the guilt of accidentally murdering a loved one? I experienced psychosis, I accidentally murdered my little brother due to my delusions, I instantly stabbed myself upon realizing and I experienced death multiple times until I ended up in a reality where nothing happened quantum immortality. Call me crazy but that is what happened and i believe it percent even though though i would do anything to believe otherwise. There's no denying it from my experience and I cant get it out of my mind even though I know there's nothing I can do but be the best brother and son possible from here on out. But under my loving and caring self its constantly in the back of my mind, my family in a close parallel world is mourning the loss of their two kids due to my selfish mistakes, I see myself as a murderer and its eating me up inside
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I'm percent convinced that it happened Read my post history, i simply cant deny it. I know there's nothing to be done but FUCK. I'm stuck knowing what happened my entire life, and since I know quantum immortality is fucking true I can never kill myself to free myself from this
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Has anyone else experienced quantum immortality? I truly believe I experienced a glitch where I remember killing myself countless times before waking up in a reality where I did nothing terrible hence i didn't kill myself. I've hallucinated before and this was just too real to be one, I wish to God it wasn't but I just can't deny what I experienced. Read my other posts to read what happened if you're interested, I've gotten interesting responses but I'm curious about this subs take on it.
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I clearly remember jumping dimensions because it was traumatic and I killed myself over and over until the terrible thing I did never happened To sum it up, my drug induced psychosis caused me to think there was an intruder in my house, I accidentally killed my own family member, and the instant I realized what I had done I stabbed myself to death, over and over again with slight different variations each time, until there was no possible scenario for 'me' to survive after killing my sibling. Im now living in a reality where I came extremely close to committing a horrible delusional act but I didnt for whatever reason. I know what dying feels like, I knew that it was clearly happening, I could feel my consciousness slowly fading to black but I felt all 'there' even at the very end, I accepted it, my body felt very heavy, the blood was warm, I lost all tension in my body, and I felt oddly peaceful towards the end even after committing such an atrocity. This shit is very real and I would never be believing it if I didnt experience everything I did. I hadn't even heard of quantum immortality before it happened, it all adds up. Read my other posts if you want to read about what happened in more detail, be warned it's not a light read
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If you kill yourself you don't end. You keep on living, not knowing you left your past family to mourn you in that life Quantum immortality is currently a theory but I swear I've experienced it so I feel the urge to warn anyone who reads this. Read my post history to read what I experienced, I truly do believe quantum immortality is real and my rational mind can't convince me otherwise even when that's all I want. I hadn't even heard of the theory when it happened, and after reading other people's experiences it just all adds up. It's very important you know this, to prevent unnecessary suffering of loved ones. Think of your life like a tree with long branches, spreading out into more and more smaller sub branches. You ARE the tree roots, trunk, and branches. You are always the tree, BUT you're limited to experiencing the single subjective experience of each tree branch, moving further and further from source the tree itself. Every little decision you consciously and unconsciously make, two paths split off from each other into two branches if the universe has infinite possiblities then what can happen will happen. The decision 'you' make will happen and you will go in that direction of the branch, completely unaware of the other 'you' it still IS you, the universe IS you slowly branching away until the other 'you' could go some place different entirely. But it's all still you. Whatever choices and thoughts you make will lead you to wherever you are now. And you can't die until there are no more possible scenarios of life you're old. So don't kill yourself. You won't even remember you killed yourself because the second you fade away, your consciousness will immediately transition into a timeline where you're still alive, moments before it was about to happen but didn't say in one of the possibilities the gun jammed. And you never actually experienced it because it never happened in the current timeline. But now your broken branches are still very real branches for all the family and friends that are in that specific timeline, their hearts broken for absolutely no reason.. because nothing changed for you, you're still alive on this shitty planet. Suffering can NOT be ended by killing yourself, I wish that for just a second you could drop your preconceived beliefs and your 'rational wall' in your mind about what you think will happen and to at least consider this being a possibility.. because no one actually knows shit, I don't know shit, but I wouldn't be sharing this if I didn't feel like this needed to be heard. Literally the only way out of suffering is to find a way past it enough so that life is worth living, because I believe it's the only option. Ever seen groundhog day? It's a perfect representation of our lives. Im being very careful with any thought that I have now, because I know thoughts lead to actions and actions leads to whatever branch that goes to. I want to be experiencing the best branch possible, and being mindful is the solution. If you think too many ruminating thoughts, it will become habit and you will feel powerless to stop them. They're literally just repeated and ingrained thoughts though, they just feel like more than that because you're emotionally attached to them and it becomes a part of what you think 'you' are . Think of a very depressing thought you believe and think, "If I thought this thought when I was younger or even a child, would I instantly believe it and become attached to it, therefore identifying with it?" Of course not, it's just a passing thought at the time and that's all it is. It goes away. Letting go of these ingrained beliefs are hard but completely worth it, otherwise you're just choosing or allowing to experience a shit reality when the potential is ALWAYS there, just waiting to be unlocked by YOU.
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If quantum immortality is real then I'm a killer This is seriously fucking me up inside the past few days because I had a vivid flashback that is causing me to doubt my denial of what happened months ago. I really hope i can get some honest feedback from you guys that have had similar experiences, because it's eating away at me and I need to know the truth. Or maybe hallucinations like mine are possible to be this convincing, but I'm not kidding when I say it felt percent real at the time. If you've made it this far please read my first post describing the second time I went into drug induced psychosis. Don't have to read the whole post. It's long but the context is important to understand what I talk about next. When I ran upstairs to try to save whoever I thought was dying, I thought that when I blacked out I soon regained consciousness with my mom next to me with blood on her face. I told myself the blood on her face had to have been my hallucination because nothing could have happened. But out of nowhere a few days ago when I got pretty stoned, a few very vivid memories came to me full force and I instantly remembered more. They aren't ideas in my head that I made up on the spot because I really remember it happening that night. These memories aren't super clear but to make sense of the flashbacks this is what I believe happened. I killed someone. It was either my or year old brother, my brothers that I love more than anything in this world. Im the type of person that takes spiders outside instead of killing them. I have a kind heart but a troubled and addicted self deprecating mind. These kids are like my kids, they jump up with excitement every time they see me, they trust me, play with me, I listen to them and challenge them and make them feel as good about themselves as I can. My stomach is making me sick thinking back. It can't be true but my gut is telling me otherwise.. it just feels too fucking real. Please God don't let it be. These memories are very vague or nonexistent, but I believe this reason could possibly explain how my delusions could have caused me to do this. I was filled very high with adrenaline sprinting up the stairs, feeling at full force by some type of higher power that someone, one of the kids, was in danger and would die if I didn't get to them in time. Maybe myself in my other reality grabbed a knife? And then I ran to them? And since my mind was insanely delusional, and it was dark, maybe I thought I was seeing something else like an intruder in the bed? I can't recall any if that happening, but I very vaguely remember commotion, lights turning on, screams, my realization of what I had done, my instant feeling of absolute dread and horror that couldn't have been any greater. I instantly started stabbing myself to end the pain, warm blood flowing from my chest, more screams, my mom in absolute despair, painfully asking why did you kill so and so as I was on the ground bleeding out, I was saying I had no idea what happened, I'm so sorry, as my reality slowly faded to black and I could feel it slowly coming, this slow blackness that percent felt like what I'd imagine it to be, but not exactly what I'd expect. aI couldn't welcome death quick enough, I was laying down, feeling very heavy with my mom holding my hand on my chest, looking at me with a look that I remember more vividly than anything else. The blackness crept up and I was crying my goodbyes knowing this nightmare would finally end. It didn't. Looking back on it I now know it happened a NUMBER of times, but during the psychosis it was the first time, everytime. I would keep 'coming to' laying down, with blood over my mom's face. I would ask what happened with horror and she would tell me. I would instantly stab my self, similar but DIFFERENT small variances each time it happened. All feeling extremely real, I was in psychosis and mentally fucked up but it wasn't a dream, it can't have been unless hallucinations really are this convincing. I honestly couldn't give you a number, but it was at the very least times I killed myself, maybe . Every time I shifted to a parallel reality where I wasn't dead yet, it seemed harder and harder to get the answer from my mom about who I killed. And that's probably why i shifted there, because I wasn't dead yet. I remember pleading, begging her to tell me and the pain on her face was unbearable. I would then stab myself and bleed out, her holding my hand and telling me it will be ok. Then I remember not being able to get a name from her, only that I killed one of the family. So I proceeded to kill myself, bleeding out and begging to know, but she cries that it's best you never know and I accept her answer. This part happened a while. Down the line until I didn't kill anyone, because otherwise I would have killed myself and shifted again. I feel fairly certain every time I was in their room, but the next time I was on the kitchen floor. My mom kneeling over me. With blood covering her face. Only THIS time I was hallucinating the blood. And why would I automatically hallucinate blood all over my mom's face if absolutely nothing happened and I blacked out for just a second. And why in my gut did I automatically think I killed someone, least of all one of my brothers that I love more than anything in this world. After recalling all of this I feel it was the year old, I feel so sick right now. This is so fucked up that I still can't believe it but it all felt so real, and after writing this out it sounds even more convincing to me. It just makes too much sense if quantum immortality is real. And most people that believe they've experienced it dont remember the dying part, but for me I killed myself many times, every time being deeply scarring, that it makes sense it hasn't completely left my consciousness. From reading this it might be easy to dismiss all this as a classic psychotic delusion, but you didn't experience it. Before my first story of what I thought happened made more sense because if i collapsed in the kitchen right away then i couldn't have done anything. But i wouldn't have remembered the realities before it at the time, because i died. something just clicked and I'm shaking right now. That absolutely powerful and dreadful feeling that someone was about to die happened while I was in my room alone, and it came on suddenly. I was freaking out at the time but I wasn't worried about anyone but myself up until that moment. It makes sense that I sensed what happened in a close parallel reality, maybe because my ego was mostly dissolved from the drugs and I was hyper connected to everything I mean do we really understand everything about psychosis caused by psychedelics, I do believe that everything is connected after all. Two quantum particles can instantly communicate across a vast distance, that's outside of the physics of light and everything we think we know. There's a lot we don't know and after reading so many stories about quantum immortality after the event happened and how similar they are to my experience, it scares the living shit out of me and I wish I could forget everything. I feel like I'm living with the worst secret imaginable and all I want is to be convinced I'm completely crazy, but I don't know if anyone really can convince me after that experience. If you think you can explain all of this reasonably PLEASE tell me, if not I need to hear your true thoughts. Im terrified to post this but I'm more terrified not to because I'm the only one in this reality that thinks i actually killed someone and I need help.
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How can I forgive myself for causing trouble trauma to my loved ones? I went into drug induced psychosis twice in the past two years that were both completely nightmarish for everyone involved, the first time i tried to kill myself in front of my own mother. Obviously I was completely delusional and not myself during the episodes so it's easier to forgive myself of my actions, but it's much harder to let go of the terrible feeling that I traumatized my family because, well, I did, including a poor year old girl. I find it very hard to live with myself and let go of my past. My family is everything, and I've caused unspeakable horrors to them and even though I've been "forgiven" it doesn't change the fact that I did this. Me. Due to a long list of terrible choices that I can't blame to anyone but myself. People tell me I'm always too hard on myself, but please read my other post that describes my episodes before you think the same. I don't easily show it, but I'm so totally lost and i feel like I'm at war between my monkey brain and my higher self constantly. The whole reason I take psychedelics in the first place is to free myself of my ego and to finally feel peace within myself. I read there's a link between inflammation and mental illness and I believe that's correct, at least in my case. I've had psoriasis for a decade and I'm constantly tense and not at ease with most other people or with myself. I feel like there's something majorly wrong with me and I do a good enough job at covering it up, or is that just the depression talking? I just don't know anymore, I don't even know what's really wrong with me, I see all the symptoms but it's like I hide some terrible truth about myself but I don't know what it is. Does it even exist? Am I just too paranoid? I can never just BE in the moment, i never feel relaxed. My addicted brain is never content or satiated, but pleasure covers the pain at least and it's all I know. Psychedelics snap me out of it but it fades back every time.. I'm always searching for a truth that will finally make me see everything clearly, but maybe I should remind myself that there is no absolute reality and that everything is objective anyway. So it would make sense that feeling unclear about myself is what's causing all this external confusion, but I can't sit peacefully within myself due to all my guilt and shame.
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Probably the worst nightmare psychosis stories you've read, and I caused them both I dont know where to start, I just need to get this off of my chest. Feel free to judge me because I'm extremely irresponsible for putting the ones i love the most in danger. I'm , have been dealing with anxiety, depression, and addiction for years. I feel like its eaten away at me and has left me empty, always craving anything other than being sober. I was introduced to psychedelics at and became obsessed. Being able to get out of my own head, feeling free, reborn, you know what it's like. Incredible. But instead of applying what I learned and seeking help for my problems I always ended up back in my old patterns. And every time I took more psychs I would see how much of an addicted mess I was and would SWEAR I would change this time. Never happened. I still live at home with my parents and younger siblings. They love me, and are the only real thing in my life. They are my life in a way. I'm like a second dad to the three youngest, they are always more excited to spend time with me than anyone else because I actually listen to them and spend as much time as I can to make them happy. Life just wouldn't be the same without them. I'd done lsd and mushrooms at least a dozen times in nature or at home, and only had amazing although difficult at times experiences. I also smoked weed almost daily for years and realized it heightened my anxious and paranoid thoughts but I couldn't stop, even though I knew it wasnt good for me. A year and a half ago I was in a very depressed and self destructive state. I couldn't stand being me so I wasnt thinking clearly. It was late at night and i took probably giant dabs, and for some reason my high mind thought it would be a good idea to take 60mg of acodmt synthetic shrooms. The most I had taken before was 40mg and I'd never combined weed with any psychs before. My selfish depressed mind never once considered this could possibly be a terrible idea, since I handled everything else in my past experiences. I was very wrong. I was laying in my bed and something felt very wrong, but I didnt know what it was or how to deal with it. I started to panic and needed to ground myself. Anxiety through the roof. I hopped in the ice cold shower and it helped, in fact I suddenly had a deluded sense of 'clarity' and felt I needed to talk to my parents about some type of revelation I was having. What I forgot was that my dad wasnt home and it was just my mom and siblings. When I got upstairs, my state changed. I started losing my shit completely. I was in a completely different insane reality, but at the time it all made sense. Felt like I was experiencing the 'real' reality and was finally seeing behind the curtains. I experienced basically all the symptoms of psychosis, I was interpreting everything in a personal way, hearing and seeing shit, and worst of all the thought loops. Literally felt like the same events were repeating over and over again. Literally felt like I was stuck in time and the only way out was pain..sounds crazy because it was. I've never been a violent or suicidal person, ever. But in this insane and terrifying state, it was the ONLY solution, like it's what I felt deeply, I had to do it. I was fucking running headfirst into doors. Stabbed the kitchen counter with a fork and it bent in half. Smashed a mirror to bits. My blood everywhere. I even remember having the thought of seppuku, and there's no doubt if I had a knife I would have stabbed myself straight into my stomach. I was also stark naked this entire time. All while my poor mother was there, trying desperately to calm me down. The younger kids locked in the bathroom with my year old sister watching them, crying, hearing all this. I accidentally gave my mother a black eye at some point, by bumping my head into her. While it was happening my mom called my dad, panicked and over her head, saying I'm having a breakdown and there's blood everywhere, then hanging up to call . For minutes my dad didnt know what was going on, and had to drive hours back home. I was naked, covered in blood, laying in the grass outside when the police and ambulance showed up. Luckily I didnt resist, and at that point what was going through my head was "we've all been here, being the crazy psychotic person was part of the whole show, these cops are all me and they know it but the act must go on." The ride to the hospital felt like eternity, and one of the paramedics told me I had attacked my mom with a fork which I didnt so in my delusioned mind I thought that I either hurt or killed her. Words can't describe how I felt for the hour before learning she was fine. You'd think that after experiencing that, and affecting my family like that, I would have changed and taken action immediately. I talked to my parents about it of course, but this is the strange thing about my family and myself. We just dont talk about real shit that goes on in our lives. We all act like everything is ok and go about our daily business, until something really isn't ok and its addressed..briefly. After talking to them and promising to abstain from all drugs, we never talked about it again. And I never saw a therapist, and convinced myself it was a one time thing and that I was overall fine just a bad mix of mind altering drugs. Of course my addicted mind eventually made it's way back to drugs, feeling like it's the only escape from my hopeless life. I was much more careful, that is until weeks ago. I took hits of acid and 170mg of molly in my room by myself. I had a great time, and actually felt confidence and empowerment about myself for the first time in ages. I felt like I had broken out of my personal hell, and felt alive. hours into it I was watching a deep sea documentary, and the high was dying down. I was returning to my sober self so for some reason I thought that meant it would be fine to smoke some weed. Smoked from my pen percent Cbd which is another reason I thought it would be safe, I'm unbelievable and suddenly I entered the psychosis state again. It was like the documentary I was watching suddenly was speaking directly to me and had nothing to do with the fucking fish. Like it was sending me obvious hints that I NEEDED to listen to, they were powerful and important messages.. And in my mind it felt like I was aware of all parallel realities in a way, like a giant wheel, and if I relaxed my body and stretched my neck back I would 'slip' into a larger awareness or something. Very hard to explain because it's fucking nuts but it felt so real at the time. But then it felt like I was going to slip into something terrible if I didnt stay still or something, or I would break reality. My mind was freaking out but I knew I needed to keep my cool no matter what happened. Then I dont really remember the transition, but suddenly I felt an extremely powerful urge that something was wrong and was about to happen, but I didnt know what. I've had several amazing and grounding dmt experiences over the past months, and it literally felt like those same beings were speaking to me and warning me that someone in my family was about to die and I had to stop it. The feeling kept growing and growing until I believed it with every ounce of my being. Like these beings could see the future and I HAD to help whoever was about to be in trouble. Filled with adrenaline I sprinted to the nearest two rooms, yelling "ARE YOU OK" to my two teenage sisters before booking it upstairs. The last thing I remember is seeing a figure in the dimly lit kitchen. For a split second I thought it was an intruder about to kill my family, but then I thought "what if its actually a family member" so I surrendered and collapsed on the ground. The next thing I know, I wake up with my mom kneeling next to me with her face fucking covered in blood there was no blood at all but I imagined it. Since I basically blacked out, and saw undeniable blood on her face, my mind went to the worst possible scenario and I fucking believed it. I thought that I killed my year old brother. The light of pure innocence and joy, the one who always looks up to me, always wanting to be with me and play with me. It's so hard to type this, it was the worst nightmare I could possibly ever imagine. I kept asking my mom, "who did I kill" when you see blood clear as day from an unknown source it appeared to me to be the only explanation I would never ever hurt anyone and she would say that I didn't hurt or kill anyone. In my mind she was saying this because she couldn't bear to tell me what happened, because it was too god awful to say. Again, words can't explain how I was feeling at the time but I'm sure you can imagine. I then felt that there was a hole in my chest and that I was bleeding out I was dying and death couldn't come quick enough. I felt like I only had seconds left to live, and I just HAD to know for sure who I killed before I faded away forever. So I kept painfully asking, not wanting to hear the answer, but knowing I needed to know. I kept getting the same answer, and eventually I accepted that she wouldn't tell me. I kept telling her that I'm so sorry, I blacked out, I dont know what happened, that type of thing. And she was comforting me even though I knew I didn't even deserve it, I was a fucking monster. This whole time I had been pressing my hand against my chest to stop the percieved bleeding so that I could spend my final moments getting out what I felt I needed to say. But when I thought I saw lights from the ambulance coming I took my hand off and I felt my blood pumping out and oozing onto me, knowing I could never in a million years live with myself. I accepted death and I looked at my hand and saw it literally dissolving into dust. Felt like the beings were there to take me away and I was accepting it. I kept telling my mom that I was about to die and that I was so sorry. Due to the loops this was all happening over and over again, but it would be slightly different. Or at one point it felt like I went back in time and I was on the couch suddenly talking to my mom, with my year old brother, and she was acting like nothing was wrong. It felt like the universe was allowing me to have my final moments with those that I love, and then I saw my hand fading away and I knew what was going to happen in the future but I could do nothing to stop it since time isn't linear and I knew what was coming. This is the hardest thing to explain, but it felt like these 'other dimensional beings' that I could feel were fixing my terrible mistake as long as I did everything right. It felt like they were allowing me to enter an alternate timeline where nothing terrible happened. And to do that I couldn't indicate that anything was wrong and had to just go with what was happening. Like my mom said something, which could be taken as serious or a joke, and I had to play it off as a joke or she would know something was wrong. It's all fucking crazy believe me I know. Slowly I looked at my chest and saw no blood, saw no blood on her face, and I just couldn't believe it. Felt like I was being saved by a higher power. The kids all came out and they were perfectly fine, never even got woken up by the ordeal. Never been more relieved in my life. Of course what really happened was that my internal fears were projecting itself into my reality, and my mom simply found me laying on the kitchen floor, thinking I did the worst thing imaginable. But fuck me did it feel so real. I just had to get all this off my chest. I can only imagine that anyone reading this will think I'm fucking crazy and a danger to others and I dont blame you. I have to live with myself the rest of my life and it won't be easy. know I need to get my shit sorted out asap because I can't stand being alone, thinking about everything I've done and put my family through. I'm seeing a therapist in hours, and I'm ready to make a real change in my life
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Same here. I know im spiraling down because lately I've lost all motivation and I find myself scrolling mindlessly on my phone for hours and hours because I have no energy to do anything. And yet im somehow able to get myself to go to work and run miles, yet when I have a day off even the smallest task feels exhausting and I just waste the entire day. Nothing excites me, hell I'm going to Mexico in days to vacation and I barely feel any excitement at all. My negative thoughts run my life and I'm fucking sick of it
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percent yes.. haven't broken though yet and it's still blown my mind beyond what I thought was possible.
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Besides, if anyone on the off chance even believes me, there would literally be no reason for them to kill themselves. Nothing would change. Use your brain yo
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Enlighten me with your knowledge then. Tell me how it's not possible, because apparently you know everything there is to know about reality. Oh wait, that's impossible, you must be really ignorant, aren't you?
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I've only had psychosis from weed, never had a problem with dmt. And I'm so glad I've tried it... keep in mind this is purely anecdotal though
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Man, there isn't a day that I don't think about what happened. It eats away at me constantly, if it was just me that died then it wouldn't be so bad. But I fucking killed my sibling, how can i ever love myself after that? All the suffering i put that version of my family through for the rest of their lives? How can ever allow myself to be completely happy after knowing what I did? And I just got away with it with no repercussions? I get to live in a reality where everything is fine? It's not fair at all. It's all so insane, I've tried to convince myself it didnt happen but I just know it did, simple as that. No one outside of the internet would believe me if I told them what happened, and I wouldn't want anyone to know anyway because it's so fuxking horrendous. I feel so alone in this, everything is fine in this reality but I know too much to be fine myself. I know there's nothing that can be done now but be the best version of me, but I've struggled my whole life in forgiving myself and after what happened, it feels impossible..its just so fucked up. Time has helped a bit and will help more I'm sure, and I do my best to be a good person, but this shit has traumatized me and I dont know if I'll ever be able to fully recover
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| 18 |
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If you could read my previous posts I'd really appreciate it, I think it would be interesting for you
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| 19 |
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What do you think that means? That we're constantly changing dimensions and going in that branch depending on our choices? Do you think it's all set in stone and we're simply 'switching', giving us the illusion of free will?
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| 20 |
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Read my previous posts if you have time please
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| 21 |
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We're all the same thing, atoms experiencing itself. No one as above another.
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| 22 |
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I work as a valet at a casino, and today this guy with a thick accent handed me a for the dollar service and then he walked away feet to stand by the fire. I assumed of course that meant he was tipping me a dollar like most people do, but he started asking me about his change so I obliged, letting him know I thought it was a tip because he walked away. He started acting rudely and taunting me by pretending he was putting the measly dollar in the fire, saying shit me or my coworkers couldn't understand. His car then arrived and he angrily sped out of there like a madman, because he probably was.
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| 23 |
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I know nothing about this, but how would it cure cancer? Any evidence to back this up?
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| 24 |
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I dont know for sure but for dmt to work you have to hold in the hit for it to start taking effect, if she exhaled immediately I cant imagine she would have felt those effects so strongly
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| 25 |
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Maybe because we're going much deeper than that, to the foundation
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| 26 |
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Also, you dont know anything, keep regurgitating shit and see how far it takes you in life
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| 27 |
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What the fuck is your problem? You have issues dude
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| 28 |
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What kind of experiences have you had?
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| 29 |
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Holy shit, you get it. That's crazy. I can't imagine what your friend must be going through, if I had hesitated for even a split second before killing myself then that would have been me. Its giving me shudders thinking about it. Care to share any more details about what happened with your friend? I suppose the biggest consolation for me is that I believe that anything that can possibly happen will happen no matter what, everything is already played out, but we're only tapping into the current branch we're in and completely unaware of everything else, since we can only have one experience at a time. And I feel that free will is an illusion in that sense, but it is real in the sense that we choose which branch we go to every second of our lives. But every possibility happens.
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| 30 |
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Read my other posts
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| 31 |
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I've only ever had psychosis when mixing weed with psychedelics, and it wears off fast
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| 32 |
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I've spoken to two therapists about it, they I instantly marked it off as delusions and I dont blame them. This is about the same post, and for a time I convinced myself nothing happened, but I later got some flashbacks I simply remember too much to deny it happened. I know delusions can be very convincing but this wasnt simply just a delusion, if any one of you experienced what I experienced you would think the same
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| 33 |
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No im in Washington
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| 34 |
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I stabbed him in reality under my delusions that there was an intruder or something. Look up quantum immortality, mark my words that shit is true
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| 35 |
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No it won't
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| 36 |
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How could I ever forgive myself?
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| 37 |
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No.. but it's impossible to ignore
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| 38 |
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I agree with everything you said, and im sure we've both been serial killers. It's just so hard when it happened so fucking close to this reality and I experienced it, i recall it vividly, I know exactly how death feels now, and dying and knowing I was dying was literally nothing compared to realizing what I did to my brother and my family. They have zero clue that my bro is alive and well, their lives must be completely ruined, suffering the rest of their lives because of MY fucking stupid actions.. and I have zero consequences except for my own guilt. It may as well have been me even though 'this' version didn't technically do it... its all me and this version was extremely close to my current one. When I was dying im absolutely sure there was this higher type power that was STRONGLY telling me things I needed to say to my mom before I died cant remember what, this shit was coming from an outside force and it was the most important thing for me to act and talk quick because the time was ticking..something was watching my back and doing damage control, maybe it was my higher self but it felt so separate from me at the time. There's a lot going on that no one has any clue about that's for sure
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| 39 |
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Ever heard of the butterfly effect? You have no idea what kind of impact you will cause for this world, and that impact only gets bigger the longer everything goes... no action isn't meaningful, but I suppose it depends on one's interpretation. Maybe your actions are exactly how they should be in this moment, but that doesn't mean you can't create a 'better' reality for yourself because why wouldn't you? It really is your choice and your choice alone, but when you think about it there's literally no good reason to suffer unnecessarily, I feel.
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| 40 |
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Hey could you explain what you mean by experiencing the negative space between the frames while in ego death? It would be very helpful to me thank you friend
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| 41 |
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All these answers including yours have been helpful don't get me wrong, but after experiencing what I did it's just really hard to just let go of it all..I see my family and I can't help but think I've ruined their lives in a separate reality and they have no idea.. it's just so fucked up and I wish I could move past it and I know I'll have to but it feels impossible right now
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| 42 |
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Look up quantum immortality and the many worlds theory. I believe that there are infinite versions of each of us with infinite paths, and right now you're experiencing one of them.. and if you die then suddenly you're experiencing the nearest branch of reality where you didn't, being none the wiser. It sounds crazy I know
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| 43 |
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Who cares if I didn't do it in this reality? It was still ME that did it, even if the current me didn't. They're all me but I'm no longer experiencing the aftermath because I died and there's no 'me" to be there. My conscious choice to smoke weed when I shouldn't have led to the terrible thing that did happen in those realities. Im the me that came extremely close to what happened, and what happened is just as "real' as this current reality. So how could I have no guilt?
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| 44 |
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But it did happen. And I did it, me, and I killed myself so that's why im here
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| 45 |
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The update is I truly believe it happened and I don't know what the fuck life even is anymore
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| 46 |
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Thanks for your reply. I do believe it happened and you have a good point that everyone has probably done horrible things in other timelines.. the thing is that was ME in that timeline and that's why I'm here in this timeline..i killed myself. I know there's nothing to be done about it, but i don't think i can ever fully let this shit go
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| 47 |
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A false awakening? What does that mean? Are you saying I live in a dream world and it was the universe's way of trying to wake me up to the real world? Why did you kill them?
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| 48 |
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Never have, why?
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| 49 |
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If never heard of the substance, would you mind elaborating on it? What is the experience like? How did you get your hands on it? Thanks
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| 50 |
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Why do you feel you're dead and can't die any further? In this timeline we're both very much alive, we haven't died in this timeline, and when we do die we're on to the next one
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| 51 |
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I believe it
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| 52 |
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Thank you
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| 53 |
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Well fuck. I am so convinced at this point but I just can't believe it when it's staring me in the face because I just can't accept it happened
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| 54 |
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Would you mind sharing what it was?
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| 55 |
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An entire day repeated? As clear as day?
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| 56 |
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Any other drugs in your system? Weed?
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| 57 |
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If I were you I would have written the same thing
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| 58 |
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Well in my mind it's true so maybe consider that
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| 59 |
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There are always good branches, that's the best part. Once it's realized that the mind is literally the only thing keeping you from ascending up instead of down, just a simple matter of listening to your gut and choosing the decisions that take you where you want to be in life
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| 60 |
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I love Alan watts
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| 61 |
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Yeah man.. be careful out there.
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| 62 |
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I get what you're saying and I'm not percent convinced it wasn't all in my head, but if only I could describe how real it was. I clearly remember stabbing myself over and over again, I couldn't tell you how many times I died because I probably forgot most of them. The blood, the warmth, the feeling of actually dying I've felt at other times like I was dying from anxiety and other drug experiences but this was different , the peacefulness I felt right before it happened each time, feeling really heavy and in my body, knowing exactly when I was about to die. I just dont know how I could possibly create all of this in my head, in my dreams, when it was that fucking real
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| 63 |
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Does she believe she actually did?
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| 64 |
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But what if it was real. What if this one wasnt actually a hallucination. It's like the boy who cried wolf, if there's an actual supernatural phenomenon no one would know because you're labeled psychotic and there's no evidence
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