dataset.csv

speaker;replica;ep_id
{system};[The episode opens with a bubble transition, and we see a coral reef under the sea. The camera zooms to initiate parallax scrolling, which reveals the city of Bikini Bottom. It continues zooming to show a brown rock, a Moai head, and a pineapple, which each contain inhabitants.];s1e1_1
French Narrator;Ah, the sea... so fascinating. So wonderful. Here, we see Bikini Bottom, teeming with life. [shows from left to right Patrick's, Squidward's, and SpongeBob's houses. Zooms in on SpongeBob's house.] Home to one of my favorite creatures, SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes, of course he lives in a pineapple, you silly.;s1e1_2
{system};[Scene cuts to the house's bedroom. A sea snail, named Gary, is seen sleeping near a pile of newspapers on the floor, a scallop is seen in a birdcage, and a young, optimistic yellow sea sponge, named SpongeBob, is seen sleeping in his bed, snoring as his foghorn alarm clock ticks. SpongeBob's alarm then sounds. He wakes, but is unaffected by the annoying sound, and with a smile on his face, turns it off. He climbs from his bed to a ladder, leading to his diving board.];s1e1_3
SpongeBob; [jumps on the diving board] Look at me, I'm... [jumps up, and leaves his underwear behind] ..naked! [lands inside his pants, then runs toward the exercise room. His head pops out of the top of his pants.] Gotta be in top physical condition for today, Gary.;s1e1_4
Gary;Meow.;s1e1_5
SpongeBob;"[taking deep breaths, he prepares to lift a barbell that is balanced by two lightweight stuffed animals. He sticks out his chest, but almost passes out because he can barely lift it. He drops it, and it makes a ""squeak"" noise] I'm ready! [runs outside] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! [as he speaks, a dimwitted sea star's rock tilts upwards with a chubby pink starfish named Patrick stuck to its underside.]";s1e1_6
Patrick;Go, SpongeBob! [falls] Whoa! ;s1e1_7
{system};[crash sound effect];s1e1_8
SpongeBob;[runs down the street to the Krusty Krab] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! [jumps in the air as the scene freezes and a title reads SpongeBob SquarePants];s1e1_9
French Narrator; SpongeBob SquarePants! ;s1e1_10
{system};[It shows SpongeBob running through various landscapes, as it shows a frozen scene of SpongeBob standing in front of the Krusty Krab the scene unfreezes and then the episode continues as normal];s1e1_11
{system};[bubble transitions to the Krusty Krab];s1e1_12
SpongeBob;There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating: The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty... with a Help Wanted sign in the window. For years I've been dreaming of this moment. I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look 'em straight in the eye [breaks the fourth wall and looks the audience in the eye], lay it on the line and... I can't do this! [starts to run home, but Patrick stops him.] Hey, Patrick-;s1e1_13
Patrick;Where do you think you're going?;s1e1_14
SpongeBob;I was just...;s1e1_15
Patrick;No, you're not. You're going to the Krusty Krab and get! That! Job!;s1e1_16
SpongeBob;I can't, don't you see? I'm not good enough.;s1e1_17
Patrick;"Whose first words were ""May I take your order?""?";s1e1_18
SpongeBob;Mine were.;s1e1_19
Patrick;Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop?;s1e1_20
SpongeBob;I did.;s1e1_21
Patrick;[grimaces and contorts twice while trying to come up with a good third line] Who's a, uh, who's uh, oh! And who's a big yellow cube with holes?;s1e1_22
SpongeBob;I am!;s1e1_23
Patrick;Who's ready?;s1e1_24
SpongeBob;I'm ready!;s1e1_25
Patrick;Who's ready?!;s1e1_26
SpongeBob;I'm ready! [runs toward the Krusty Krab.] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!;s1e1_27
{system};[A turquoise octopus is seen cleaning graffiti on the restaurant's windows. That octopus, named Squidward, is spraying stain remover and attempting to wipe off the graffiti.];s1e1_28
Squidward;" [cleaning  graffiti  of  himself  with  the  word  ""loser,""  sees  SpongeBob,  and  sighs]  Oh  no,  SpongeBob.  What  could  he  possibly  want? ";s1e1_29
SpongeBob; [in  background,  at  first  while  Squidward  was  talking]  I'm  ready!  I'm  ready!  I'm  ready!  I'm  ready!  I'm  ready!  I'm  ready!  Go,  SpongeBob!  Go,  SpongeBob!  Go,  SpongeBob!  Go,  self! ;s1e1_30
{system}; [Squidward  looks  at  the  Help  Wanted  sign,  screams,  and  runs  inside  to  warn  Mr.  Krabs] ;s1e1_31
Squidward;" [While  SpongeBob  says,  ""I'm  ready,""  one  more  time  in  the  background]  Mr.  Krabs!  [cuts  to  the  ordering  window,  where  a  greedy  crab  is  seen  happily  sniffing  a  handful  of  money.  Squidward  runs  up  to  him.]  Hurry,  Mr.  Krabs,  before  it's  too  late,  I  gotta  tell  you-  [interrupted  by  SpongeBob] ";s1e1_32
SpongeBob; Permission  to  come  aboard,  captain!  [deep  voice]  I've  been  training  my  whole  life  for  the  day  I  could  join  the  Krusty  Krew  [normal  voice]  and  now  I'm  ready! ;s1e1_33
{system}; [SpongeBob  trips  on  a  nail  stuck  in  the  floorboard.  He  bounces  back  and  forth  on  the  ground,  and  shouts  and  blurts  incomprehensibly  upon  each  hit.  The  restaurant  manager,  a  red  crab  named  Mr.  Krabs,  and  Squidward  look  at  each  other.  His  fall  causes  him  to  bounce  against  the  ceiling.  SpongeBob  yet  again  shouts  and  blurts  incomprehensibly  while  his  bounces  and  ricochets  around  the  building  accelerate.  He  then  rolls  to  a  stop  at  the  feet  of  Squidward  and  Mr.  Krabs.] ;s1e1_34
SpongeBob; So,  uh,  when  do  I  start? ;s1e1_35
MrKrabs; Well,  lad,  it  looks  like  you  don't  even  have  your  sea  legs. ;s1e1_36
SpongeBob; Mr.  Krabs,  please!  I'll  prove  I'm  fry  cook  material!  Ask  Squidward,  he'll  vouch  for  me. ;s1e1_37
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  and  Squidward  quickly  walk  away  from  SpongeBob.  Squidward  looks  at  Mr.  Krabs.] ;s1e1_38
Squidward; [deep  breath]  No. ;s1e1_39
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  winks.  Squidward  and  Mr.  Krabs  head  back  to  SpongeBob,  who  looks  completely  puzzled  at  what  he's  hearing] ;s1e1_40
 Mr.  Krabs ; Well,  lad,  we'll  give  you  a  test,  and  if  you  pass,  you'll  be  on  the  Krusty  Krew.  Go  out  and  fetch  me...  a...  [SpongeBob  takes  out  a  notepad]  uh,  hydrodynamic  spatula...  [SpongeBob  quickly  jots  down  what  he  says]  with,  um,  port-and-starboard-attachments,  [more  scribbling]  and,  uh...  turbo  drive.  [more  scribbling]  And  don't  come  back  �til  you  get  one.  [puts  a  Krusty  Krab  crew  hat  on  SpongeBob's  head.] ;s1e1_41
{system}; [SpongeBob  sees  how  he  looks  in  a  mirror,  there  are  sparkles  on  his  hat,  and  he  has  a  huge,  satisfied  smile] ;s1e1_42
SpongeBob; [saluting  Krabs]  Aye  aye,  captain!  [reading]  One  hydrodynamic  spatula,  with  port-and-starboard  attachments,  turbo  drive,  coming  right  up,  sir!  [salutes  again] ;s1e1_43
 Mr.  Krabs ; Carry  on!  [SpongeBob  leaves]  We'll  never  see  that  lubber  again. ;s1e1_44
Squidward; [smiling]  You're  terrible.  A  hydro-what? ;s1e1_45
{system}; [Squidward  and  Mr.  Krabs  laugh.  While  Squidward  laughs,  his  nose  moves  distinctly  while  he  inhales  and  exhales.  Mr.  Krabs'  laugh  sounds  like  a  pirate.  As  they  laugh,  SpongeBob  is  shown  leaving  the  Krusty  Krab.  As  SpongeBob  fades  out  of  sight,  five  buses  drive  toward  the  Krusty  Krab  from  the  opposite  direction.] ;s1e1_46
 Bus  driver ; Hey!  Hey!  Please!  Passengers  are  to  stay  seated  and  not  put  their  fins  out  the  window! ;s1e1_47
{system}; [The  five  buses  surround  the  Krusty  Krab  and  the  bus  doors  open.  Mr.  Krabs  stops  laughing.  Squidward  also  stops  laughing  but  embarrassingly  smiles  at  Mr.  Krabs'  attentive  gesture.] ;s1e1_48
 Mr.  Krabs ; [gasps]  That  sounded  like  hatch  doors!  [sniffs  repeatedly]  Do  you  smell  it?  That  smell...  A  kind  of  smelly  smell...  A  smelly  smell  that  smells...  smelly...  [his  eyes  widen]  Anchovies. ;s1e1_49
Squidward;What?;s1e1_50
 Mr.  Krabs ;Anchovies!;s1e1_51
{system};" [The  anchovies  get  out  of  the  buses  and  rush  inside  the  Krusty  Krab,  crowding,  repeating  the  word  ""eat""  over  and  over  again] ";s1e1_52
Squidward; Please,  please,  quiet!  [the  anchovies  stop  talking]  Is  this  any  way  to  behave,  hmm? ;s1e1_53
Anchovy;Eat.;s1e1_54
Squidward; Could  we  show  a  little  decency  and  form  a  neat,  single  file  line  in  front  of  the  register? ;s1e1_55
{system};" [The  anchovies  stare  for  a  moment,  then  pick  up  the  boat,  as  their  cries  of  ""eat!""  become  more  intense.  Cut  to  Barg'N-Mart  as  SpongeBob  enters.] ";s1e1_56
SpongeBob; [singing  to  himself]  Barg'N-Mart,  meeting  all  of  your  spatula  needs. ;s1e1_57
{system}; [Cuts  back  to  the  Krusty  Krab.  Squidward  and  Mr.  Krabs  are  still  in  the  boat  register,  and  being  tossed  around  like  a  ship  in  a  storm.] ;s1e1_58
 Mr.  Krabs ; All  hands  on  deck!  Get  your  anchors  out  of  your  pants! ;s1e1_59
Squidward; One  single  file  line  is  all  I  ask! ;s1e1_60
 Mr.  Krabs ; Whoa!  [he  and  Squidward  are  thrown  up  in  the  air]  Batten  down  the  hatches,  Mr.  Squidward!  [they  get  thrown  back  up  again with  Krabs  clutching  Squidward]  I  want  my  mommy,  Mr.  Squidward!  [cuts  to  Barg'N-Mart] ;s1e1_61
SpongeBob; [singing]  Do  do  do  do  do  do,  spatula,  spatula,  port-and-starboard  attachments. ;s1e1_62
{system}; [Cuts  back  to  the  Krusty  Krab.  Squidward  and  Mr.  Krabs  are  sent  towards  a  pole  by  a  wave  of  anchovies.] ;s1e1_63
Squidward;Help!;s1e1_64
 Mr.  Krabs ; Man  overboard!  Climb,  Mr.  Squidward!  Climb!  [They  climb  the  mast,  while  the  anchovies  try  to  get  them  down.  The  anchovies  then  form  a  big  wave  twice.] ;s1e1_65
{system}; Eat!  Eat! ;s1e1_66
 Mr.  Krabs ; This  is  the  end!  [shaking  hands  with  Squidward]  Goodbye,  Mr.  Squidward! ;s1e1_67
Squidward; Oh,  Mr.  Krabs! ;s1e1_68
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  and  Squidward  cry,  then  SpongeBob  comes  in  with  red  lights  flashing  and  flying  with  the  spatula,  singing  a  heroic  tune] ;s1e1_69
SpongeBob; Permission  to  come  aboard  captain!  Da  da  da  da  da  da  da!  Da  da  da  da  da  da  da  da  da  da!  Did  someone  order  a  spatula? ;s1e1_70
 Mr.  Krabs ; [stuttering  in  shock  at  SpongeBob  getting  the  hydrodynamic  spatula] ;s1e1_71
SpongeBob; That's  right!  One  hydrodynamic  spatula  with  [two  spatulas  pop  out  on  the  sides  of  the  previous  one]  port-and-starboard  attachments!  And  let's  not  forget  the  turbo  drive!  [the  two  extending  spatulas  twirl  around  and  smack  Squidward  and  Mr.  Krabs  in  the  face]  Would  you  believe  they  only  had  one  in  stock?  To  the  kitchen!  [to  the  anchovies]  Who's  hungry?! ;s1e1_72
{system};" [Tiny  Tim's  ""Living  in  the  Sunlight,  Loving  in  the  Moonlight""  plays  while  SpongeBob  flies  through  the  kitchen  window.  A  montage  of  SpongeBob  making  and  serving  Krabby  Patties  plays.  SpongeBob  crashes  into  a  box  of  patties  and  shoots  them  with  his  eyes  toward  the  grill.] ";s1e1_73
{system};" [SpongeBob  becomes  a  number  ""1""  followed  by  ascending  numbers  up  to  ""4.""  He  squeezes  a  bottle  of  ketchup  and  mustard  on  Krabby  Patty  to  form  a  smiley  face.  He  adds  a  patty  and  the  rest  of  the  toppings  on  top  of  the  lower  bun  to  form  a  Krabby  Patty.  SpongeBob  serves  the  Krabby  Patty.  Some  of  the  anchovies  noticed,  and  one  of  them  caught  a  Krabby  Patty.  All  of  the  anchovies  look  toward  the  window  to  anticipate  more  Krabby  Patties.  SpongeBob  then  serves  up  Krabby  Patty  after  Krabby  Patty.  He  repeats  chopping  vegetables  and  serving  yet  more  Krabby  Patties.  Numerous  Krabby  Patties  are  launched  through  the  order  window  to  the  hungry  anchovies.] ";s1e1_74
 Mr.  Krabs ; That  was  the  finest  fast-foodsmanship  I've  ever  seen,  Mr.  SquarePants.  Welcome  aboard.  [gives  SpongeBob  a  name  tag] ;s1e1_75
Squidward; B-but,  but,  Mr.  Krabs... ;s1e1_76
 Mr.  Krabs ; Three  cheers  for  SpongeBob!  Hip-hip! ;s1e1_77
Squidward; [weakly]  Hooray,  Mr.� ;s1e1_78
 Mr.  Krabs ;Hip-hip!;s1e1_79
Squidward; [quickly]  Hooray. ;s1e1_80
 Mr.  Krabs ;Hip-hip!;s1e1_81
Squidward; [quickly]  Hooray.  Mr.  Krabs� ;s1e1_82
 Mr.  Krabs ; I'll  be  in  my  quarters,  counting  up  the  booty.  [wheels  a  wheelbarrow  piled  with  an  enormous  stack  of  cash  to  his  office.  As  he  walks  towards  his  office,  Patrick  enters] ;s1e1_83
Patrick; Good  morning,  Krusty  Krew! ;s1e1_84
Squidward; What  would  you  like  to  order,  Patrick? ;s1e1_85
Patrick; One  Krabby  Patty,  please. ;s1e1_86
{system};" [The  instrumental  to  ""Living  in  the  Sunlight,  Loving  in  the  Moonlight""  starts  playing.  SpongeBob  flies  back  to  the  kitchen,  using  his  spatula] ";s1e1_87
Squidward;What?;s1e1_88
{system}; [A  score  of  Krabby  Patties  is  immediately  fired  through  the  servery,  which  Squidward  dodges,  colliding  into  Patrick  and  sending  him  flying  out  of  the  Krusty  Krab.  Cuts  to  Krusty  Krab  exterior [crashing noise.];s1e1_89
Patrick;[screams];s1e1_90
Squidward; Mr.  Krabs!  Mr.  Krabs!  Mr.  Krabs,  come  see  your  new  employee! ;s1e1_91
{system};" [The  final  instrumental  of  Tiny  Tim's  ""Livin'  in  the  Sunlight""  plays  (xylophone  solo,  followed  by  a  timpani  beat  and  a  final  note),  and  the  further  sounds  of  shooting  Krabby  Patties  and  smashed  glass  play  at  the  same  time,  ending  the  episode] ";s1e1_92
{system}; [The  episode  opens  up  with  SpongeBob's,  Patrick's,  and  Squidward's  houses.] ;s1e2_1
{system}; [The  scene  pans  to  show  that  everything  on  his  lawn  is  clean,  except  for  a  seashell  on  the  left  side  of  it.] ;s1e2_2
{system}; [The  camera  shows  Squidward  angry.  He  walks  over  to  the  seashell,  looks  around,  and  kicks  it  onto  SpongeBob's  lawn  while  whistling  casually.] ;s1e2_3
{system}; [The  scene  then  changes  to  show  SpongeBob's  house.  As  soon  as  the  window  opens,  SpongeBob's  face  is  shown.  He  exits  through  his  window  and  sits  on  its  rim.  He  notices  the  seashell  on  his  lawn,  he  gets  an  idea  and  starts  sliding  to  the  back  of  his  house  to  his  garage  to  get  a  reef  blower.  The  giant  backpack-like  container,  with  a  blower  hose,  which  looks  like  a  jet  engine,  a  power  switch,  and  a  pull  starter.] ;s1e2_4
{system}; [The  scene  changes  to  show  Squidward  resting  on  his  hammock.] ;s1e2_5
{system}; [Squidward  hears  the  reef  blower's  motor  throbbing.  He  sees  SpongeBob  exiting  out  of  his  garage  with  the  reef  blower.  Squidward  grumbles  and  puts  in  his  earplugs  so  that  he  can  continue  to  rest.] ;s1e2_6
{system}; [SpongeBob  gets  to  the  seashell  and  tries  to  blow  it  away  from  his  lawn  by  using  the  reef  blower.  He  does  this  twice.  He  then  blows  extra  hard,  and  a  huge  amount  of  sand  is  thrown  in  the  air.] ;s1e2_7
{system}; [The  scene  changes  to  show  Squidward  eating  some  vegetables  and  then,  the  huge  amount  of  sand  falls  from  the  sky  and  buries  him.  SpongeBob  runs  towards  Squidward  and  blows  the  sand  away.] ;s1e2_8
{system}; [Squidward  looks  at  a  leaf  on  his  plate  with  grains  of  sand  on  it.] ;s1e2_9
{system}; [SpongeBob  cleans  the  leaf  in  front  of  Squidward's  head,  tearing  apart  half  of  the  leaf  and  causing  grains  of  sand  to  get  into  Squidward's  eyes.  SpongeBob  cleans  Squidward's  eyes  with  another  blow.] ;s1e2_10
{system}; [The  scene  changes  to  show  a  large  pile  of  sand  on  SpongeBob's  lawn.] ;s1e2_11
{system};" [SpongeBob  points  his  finger  to  it  and  mouths  a  word  and  the  caption  reads  ""You!""  He  walks  to  the  pile  of  sand,  sets  the  reef  blower  to  reverse,  and  uses  it  to  suck  up  the  sand  from  his  lawn.] ";s1e2_12
{system}; [The  scene  changes  to  show  SpongeBob's  lawn  clean,  but  then  the  reef  blower  starts  breaking  apart,  throwing  out  sand  and  parts  of  the  machinery.] ;s1e2_13
{system}; [SpongeBob  takes  off  the  reef  blower.  He  unzips  the  pack.  He  goes  over  to  pick  up  the  thrown-out  contents.  The  reef  blower  coughs  while  he  is  absent.  He  returns  with  large  hands  carrying  the  thrown-out  contents.  He  zips  it  back  up  and  pulls  the  pull  starter  in  an  attempt  to  try  to  start  it.  The  motor  starts  and  then  dies.] ;s1e2_14
{system}; [The  camera  shows  him  becoming  angry  or  just  determined.  The  scene  changes  and  he  pulls  the  handle  very  far.] ;s1e2_15
{system}; [SpongeBob  lets  go  of  the  handle,  which  stays  still.  SpongeBob  wipes  his  hands  together.  He  grabs  the  handle  again.  The  handle  pulls  him  away,  leaving  a  bubble  silhouette  of  SpongeBob  that  quickly  dissolves.  SpongeBob  passes  an  intersection  where  two  fish  in  two  different  cars  going  opposite  directions  stop.  He  passes  some  houses  and  finally  returns  to  the  reef  blower,  where  he  gets  strapped  in.] ;s1e2_16
{system}; [The  reef  blower  starts,  sucking  up  all  the  water  in  the  sea,  causing  Squidward,  who  is  sitting  on  his  front  doorstep,  to  gasp  due  to  the  inability  to  breathe  air.  His  eyes  also  change  into  X's.] ;s1e2_17
{system}; [The  scene  changes  to  show  the  reef  blower  massive,  and  then  it  explodes,  causing  water  to  cover  the  screen.  When  the  water  stops,  the  screen  shows  big  piles  of  sand  everywhere,  but  SpongeBob's  lawn  is  relatively  clean.] ;s1e2_18
{system}; [SpongeBob  exits  one  of  the  piles,  wipes  his  hands  together,  and  happily  enters  his  house.] ;s1e2_19
{system}; [Episode  ends  with  Squidward  at  his  doorstep,  with  a  pile  of  sand  covering  him  except  for  his  head.  The  seashell  falls  on  Squidward's  nose.  Squidward  narrows  his  eyelids.] ;s1e2_20
SpongeBob; [stands  in  Jellyfish  Fields.  A  blue  jellyfish  floats  by  SpongeBob.  SpongeBob  creeps  from  behind  a  bush  and  stares  at  the  jellyfish  through  a  telescope.  Cuts  to  his  view  with  the  telescope]  Wow,  four  stingers.  [puts  away  the  telescope  and  puts  on  his  glasses.  Cuts  to  the  jellyfish,  where  SpongeBob  floats  over  it  with  his  net.  Cuts  to  the  jellyfish  alone,  where  SpongeBob's  foot  stretches  out  from  off-screen  and  then  the  rest  of  his  body  appears.  He  attempts  to  grab  the  jellyfish  in  his  net,  but  he  catches  himself  in  the  net,  then  the  jellyfish  flies  away.  In  the  background,  a  young  girl's  voice  is  heard  struggling.  SpongeBob  looks  down  a  cliff  and  sees  a  land  creature  trying  to  fight  a  giant  clam  that's  attempting  to  eat  her.  SpongeBob  gasps.]  Where  have  I  seen  this  before?  [takes  out  his  Field  Guide  book  and  skims  through  the  pages]  Here  it  is.  [cut  to  picture  of  a  squirrel]  Land  squirrel.  [closes  the  book]  That  little  squirrel  is  in  trouble.  [cuts  to  the  squirrel,  named  Sandy,  who  is  pushing  the  clam  into  the  ground] ;s1e3_1
Sandy; Take  that,  you  sorry  old  clam!  Y'all  need  to  learn  some  manners!  [walks  away]  You're  about  as  ugly  as  homemade  soup. ;s1e3_2
SpongeBob; Hooray,  land  squirrel!  [cuts  back  to  the  land  squirrel,  who  is  oblivious  to  the  clam  resurfacing  and  jumping  right  at  her.  Cuts  to  SpongeBob,  who  is  shocked,  his  glasses  shoot  up]  Look  out!  [scene  cuts  to  the  clam  with  Sandy  trying  to  escape  the  clam]  Hold  on,  little  squirrel!  [does  a  karate  yell  in  front  of  the  clam,  then  does  the  same  while  bouncing  to  different  sides.  He  jumps  high  in  the  air,  and  lands  on  top  of  the  clam;s1e3_3
{system}; [SpongeBob  pulls  up  his  pants  and  starts  to  charge  at  the  clam.  He  jumps  into  the  clam's  mouth  and  starts  to  strangle  its  tongue.  SpongeBob  sees  that  Sandy  has  already  escaped  and  the  clam  swallows  him  now.] ;s1e3_4
Sandy; Hold  on  there,  little  square  dude!  [gets  SpongeBob  out  and  kicks  the  clam  around  some  more  and  finally  kicks  it  across  the  sea.  The  clam  whimpers.  Sandy  leans  down  to  see  if  SpongeBob  is  okay.] ;s1e3_5
SpongeBob; Hey,  you  like  karate  too.  [does  some  karate  poses,  then  he  stops  and  falls  flat  on  his  head]  So,  what's  your  name? ;s1e3_6
Sandy; Sandy.  [makes  athletic  moves]  So  what  do  y'all  call  yourself? ;s1e3_7
SpongeBob; [runs  up  a  big  rock]  I'm  SpongeBob!  [jumps  down,  SpongeBob  soon  lands  on  one  of  his  corners] ;s1e3_8
Sandy; Well,  SpongeBob,  take  a  gander  at  this.  [walks  next  to  a  huge  rock  closes  her  eyes  and  slaps  it  with  her  hand,  making  a  gong  sound  effect,  SpongeBob  is  confused  as  nothing  seems  to  have  happen,  but  then  cracking  sounds  are  heard  and  rock  shakes  and  breaks  into  pieces] ;s1e3_9
SpongeBob; Oh.  [Sandy  grins  and  blinks]  Oh,  yeah?  Watch  this!  [prepares  to  do  a  karate  move,  but  all  he  does  is  make  an  armpit  fart  noise.  Sandy  walks  on-screen  giggling] ;s1e3_10
Sandy; I  like  you,  SpongeBob.  Why,  we  could  be  tighter  than  bark  on  a  tree.  Hi-yah!  [karate  chops  SpongeBob�s  head.] ;s1e3_11
SpongeBob; Uh,  I  like  you  too,  Sandy.  Hi-yah!  [karate  chops  her  helmet,  but  realizes  it  hurts.]  Ow.  Say,  what  is  that  thing  on  your  head? ;s1e3_12
Sandy; Why,  that's  my  air  helmet. ;s1e3_13
SpongeBob; May  I  try  it  on? ;s1e3_14
Sandy; Heck  no.  I  need  it  to  breathe.  I  gotta  have  my  air. ;s1e3_15
SpongeBob; Me  too.  I  love  air.  Air  is  good. ;s1e3_16
Sandy; No  kidding? ;s1e3_17
SpongeBob;" Why,  ""air""  is  my  middle  name.  The  more  air,  the  better.  Can't  get  enough  of  that  air. ";s1e3_18
Sandy; Shee-oot.  How  about  comin'  over  tomorrow  for  tea  and  cookies  then?  [shows  a  map  leading  to  Sandy's  house]  Don't  be  late. ;s1e3_19
SpongeBob; Okay,  see  you  tomorrow.  [runs  to  Patrick's  house.  Patrick  is  sun  tanning  on  his  rock]  Patrick!  Patrick!  Patrick,  Patrick,  Patrick!  What's  air? ;s1e3_20
Patrick;Huh?;s1e3_21
SpongeBob; I  just  met  this  girl.  She  wears  a  hat  full  of...  air. ;s1e3_22
Patrick;" Do  you  mean  she  puts  on  ""airs""? ";s1e3_23
SpongeBob; I  guess  so. ;s1e3_24
Patrick; That's  just  fancy  talk.  If  you  wanna  be  fancy,  hold  your  pinky  up  like  this.  The  higher  you  hold  it,  the  fancier  you  are. ;s1e3_25
SpongeBob; [holds  his  pinky  up]  How's  that? ;s1e3_26
Patrick;Higher.;s1e3_27
SpongeBob; Like  that? ;s1e3_28
Patrick; Now  that's  fancy.  They  should  call  you  SpongeBob  FancyPants.  [cuts  to  Sandy's  treedome]  Remember:  When  in  doubt,  pinky  out.  You  can  do  it,  SpongeBob.  I'll  be  watching.  [opens  the  door  as  SpongeBob  walks  in  with  his  pinky  raised  high  and  flowers  in  his  right  hand.] ;s1e3_29
SpongeBob; Thanks,  pal.  [rings  the  doorbell  with  a  bouquet  in  his  hand] ;s1e3_30
Sandy;Hello?;s1e3_31
SpongeBob; Hi-ya,  Sandy.  It�s  me,  SpongeBob. ;s1e3_32
Sandy; Hold  on  a  sec,  I'll  let  you  in. ;s1e3_33
SpongeBob; [whistles  then  all  the  water  goes  down  the  drain,  then  bangs  on  the  door]  Sandy!  Sandy!  Open  up!  Sandy!  Sandy!  [Sandy  opens  the  door  and  SpongeBob  jiggles  on  the  ground]  Sandy,  something's  gone  terribly  wrong.  There's  no  water  in...  [looks  around]  ...here. ;s1e3_34
Sandy; �Course  there's  no  water.  Nuttin'  but  air. ;s1e3_35
SpongeBob; [waves  his  hand  around  and  smells  the  air]  No  water? ;s1e3_36
Sandy; That  ain't  a  problem,  is  it?  Hi-yah! ;s1e3_37
SpongeBob; Problem?  [laughing]  Hi-yah!  That's  how  I  like  my  air!  [takes  a  deep  breath  as  Sandy  walks  off.  As  soon  as  she  leaves,  he  lets  it  all  out,  and  gets  black  circles  around  his  eyes]  With  no  water. ;s1e3_38
Sandy; [cartwheeling]  Well,  alright.  I  made  Texas  tea  and  cookies.  Well,  come  on  in!  Hi-yah!  [SpongeBob  is  walking  an  inch  forward  and  it  makes  weak  squeaking  sounds  with  every  step]  That's  not  in.  In.  [SpongeBob  walks  another  inch  and  there  is  more  squeaking.  Sandy  runs,  gets  SpongeBob,  takes  his  hand,  and  runs  off]  You're  a  funny  little  dude.  Come  on,  I'll  give  you  the  grand  tour.  [fades  to  the  blazing  sun  and  pan  down  where  Sandy  and  SpongeBob  are  standing]  So  this  is  my  own  private  little  air  bubble.  This  air  is  the  driest...  [SpongeBob  gasps]  ...purest...  [SpongeBob  gasps  again]  ...most  airiest  air  in  the  whole  sea.  Oh,  over  there's  my  birdbath.  [Cuts  to  the  birdbath,  where  an  orange  bird  is  splashing  and  chirping]  And  that's  my  oak  tree.  [SpongeBob  seems  enticed  by  the  water  in  the  birdbath.  He  tries  to  sneak  away,  but  stays  until  Sandy  lets  her  guard  down]  It  provides  me  with  extra  air.  This  dome  is  made  of  the  finest  polyurethane,  that's  a  fancy  word  for  plastic.  Ain't  that  just  the  bee's  knees?  [SpongeBob  nods]  Tell  you  what,  weren't  easy  getting  here  neither.  First,  I...  [SpongeBob  finally  escapes  and  wallows  in  the  birdbath,  absorbing  all  the  water.  He  then  jumps  back  to  his  original  spot,  and  the  bird  is  quite  angry.  SpongeBob  gets  back  before  Sandy  notices]  ...that's  my  treadmill.  That's  how  I  stay  in  tip-top  shape.  Well,  come  on.  Let�s  have  that  tea  now.  [does  in-air  karate  moves  and  moves  off-screen.  SpongeBob  gasps.  He  hears  some  knocking  from  outside.  It's  Patrick,  pointing  at  his  pinky] ;s1e3_39
Patrick; Pinky.  Pinky. ;s1e3_40
SpongeBob; [blinks,  weakly  holds  up  his  pinky,  and  gasps  again.  Fade  to  him  sitting  at  a  picnic  bench.  He  now  has  little  wrinkles  around  his  eyes  and  his  mouth  is  all  puckered  up.  He  holds  up  his  bouquet]  I  brought  you  some  flowers. ;s1e3_41
Sandy; [walks  over]  For  me?  How  sweet.  [grabs  the  flowers,  but  SpongeBob  refuses  to  let  go.  She  finally  pries  them  loose  and  part  of  SpongeBob's  pinky  falls  off.  He  closes  his  hand]  You  okay? ;s1e3_42
SpongeBob; [the  black  circles  around  his  eyes  are  gone.  His  voice  is  now  hoarse]  Yes,  I'm  okay. ;s1e3_43
Sandy; You  know,  you're  the  first  sea  critter  to  ever  visit. ;s1e3_44
SpongeBob; I  can�t  imagine  why. ;s1e3_45
Sandy; Can  I  get  you  anything? ;s1e3_46
SpongeBob; Water  would  be  nice. ;s1e3_47
Sandy; I'm  gonna  put  these  in  a  vase. ;s1e3_48
SpongeBob; Take  your  time.  [Sandy  goes  in  her  tree  and  closes  the  door  off-screen.  SpongeBob  hears  it,  he  then  gasps  and  stumbles  toward  the  door  and  struggles  to  open  it]  I  gotta  get  out  of  here!  [screams  and  then  thinks] ;s1e3_49
Sandy; [in  SpongeBob's  head]  I  like  you,  SpongeBob.  We  could  be  tighter  than  bark  on  a  tree. ;s1e3_50
{system}; [SpongeBob  struggles  even  more] ;s1e3_51
Patrick; [in  SpongeBob's  head]  When  in  doubt,  pinky  out. ;s1e3_52
SpongeBob; [lifts  his  pinky  up  and  gets  confidence  and  victorious  music  plays.]  I  don't  need  water!  Water's  for  quitters!  I  don't  need  it!  I  don't  need  it!  I  don't  need  it!  I  don't  need  it,  I  don't  need  it...  [sits  down,  loses  confidence  again  and  the  music  stops] ;s1e3_53
Sandy; Why,  these  flowers  are  just  beautiful!  [sniffs]  They'll  last  much,  much  longer  in  a  vase  full  of  ice  cold  water.  [puts  the  vase  down.  SpongeBob  is  totally  enticed  by  the  water.  Sandy  sits  down  across  from  him]  So  tell  me  about  yourself.  [puts  her  hands  under  head  feeling  fascinated  about  SpongeBob  sharing  himself]  It  must  be  fascinating  bein'  a  sea  critter.  [SpongeBob  watches  a  drop  of  water  drop  down  the  side  of  the  glass]  SpongeBob?  [a  timer  goes  off]  Oh,  there's  the  cookies.  [walks  back  into  the  tree]  Be  right  back. ;s1e3_54
SpongeBob; [thinking]  I  don't  need  it,  I  don't  need  it,  I  definitely  don't  need  it.  [close-up  of  SpongeBob's  face.  He's  really  shriveled  now]  I  don't  need  it.  [close-up  of  vase,  then  another  one  of  SpongeBob's  face]  I  don't  need  it.  [close-up  of  vase]  I  don't  need  it.  [close-up  of  SpongeBob's  face]  I  don't  need  it.  [long  pause,  finally  yelling]  I  need  it!  [shoots  up  into  the  air,  bounces  off  the  ceiling  and  holds  the  vase.] ;s1e3_55
Patrick; No,  SpongeBob!  No,  no,  no!  Stop!  Pinky!  Pinky! ;s1e3_56
SpongeBob; [holds  up  his  pinky  and  starts  guzzling  down  the  whole  vase  of  water]  I'm  a  quitter!  [screams  and  runs  around] ;s1e3_57
Patrick; [enters  into  the  dome  and  slams  the  door  shut]  You  can't  leave  now.  You'll  blow  it. ;s1e3_58
SpongeBob; [muffled  while  hanging  on  the  door]  Air  is  not  good,  Patrick.  Air  is  not  good. ;s1e3_59
Patrick; [grabs  SpongeBob  off  the  door]  You're  just  being  shy.  [carries  SpongeBob  to  the  picnic  table]  Don't  worry,  buddy.  You're  doing  fine.  [starts  getting  weak]  I  won't  let  you  blow...  this.  [drops  SpongeBob  and  crawls  on  the  floor,  panting.  He  coughs  and  sputters,  then  stands  up]  What  kind  of  place  is  this?!  [runs  toward  the  door  and  tries  to  open  it]  There's  no  water  in  here! ;s1e3_60
SpongeBob; [joins  in  on  the  door-opening  struggle]  I  tried  to  tell  you! ;s1e3_61
Patrick; We've  gotta  get  out  of  here! ;s1e3_62
SpongeBob; You're...  doing  it...  wrong! ;s1e3_63
Patrick; Wait,  no!  We've  got  to  get  out!  [The  two  pass  out.] ;s1e3_64
{system}; [fades  to  the  sun] ;s1e3_65
Sandy; [walks  out  of  the  tree  with  tea  and  cookies]  Come  and  get  it!  Y'all  gonna  like  this... ;s1e3_66
{system}; [She  screams  and  drops  her  tray.  On  the  grass  is  a  live-action  sponge  and  starfish.  Cuts  to  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  leaning  against  a  ladder  with  two  goldfish  helmets  on.  Sandy,  on  top  of  the  ladder,  uses  a  hose  to  fill  those  helmets  with  water,  so  they  can  finally  breathe.] ;s1e3_67
Sandy; There,  that  oughta  do  it!  If  y'all  needed  water,  you  shoulda  asked.  [carries  over  a  tray  with  three  tea  glasses.  Everyone  takes  one]  I  propose  a  toast,  to  new  friends.  [drinks  it  while  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  lift  their  drinks  up  and  they  clink  the  glasses  on  the  helmets,  causing  them  to  spill]  Hold  on  a  second.  [places  a  tea  bag  in  each  helmet,  allowing  the  two  to  drink  the  tea  water]  I  hope  you  like  your  tea  strong.  Drink  up!  [Patrick  nudges  SpongeBob  and  they  both  put  their  pinkies  up.  They  sip  the  tea.] ;s1e3_68
{system}; [The  episode  starts  with  a  view  of  the  houses  of  Patrick,  Squidward,  and  SpongeBob.  The  screen  zooms  in  closer,  and  fades  to  a  view  of  SpongeBob's  entrance.] ; s1e4_1
SpongeBob; [walks  outside  his  house,  and  breathes  in  the  fresh  air]  Ahh,  what  a  wonderful  day.  The  sun  is  out,  the  water  is  shimmering,  scallops  are  chirping.  So  peaceful.  [grabs  wood,  a  hammer,  and  some  nails,  and  starts  to  noisily  build  a  stand.  Squidward  peeks  his  head  out  the  window.] ; s1e4_2
Squidward; Can  we  lower  the  volume,  please?  I  can't  work  with  all  that  racket  going  on! ; s1e4_3
SpongeBob; Oh,  sure  thing,  Squidward. ; s1e4_4
Squidward; Yes.  Mmm.  Right.  Mmm. ; s1e4_5
SpongeBob; Okay.  [taps  on  a  nail  lightly,  and  he  looks  up  at  Squidward's  window.  He  does  it  again,  and  continues  to,  making  sure  he  doesn't  make  too  much  noise.  Meanwhile,  in  Squidward's  house,  Squidward  has  his  clarinet  in  his  hand.] ; s1e4_6
Squidward; And  now...  for  some  soothing  sounds  from  Squidward's  clarinet.  Thank  you,  thank  you.  [starts  to  play  while  SpongeBob  looks  up  and  sees  that  Squidward  is  playing,  so  he  decides  to  finish  his  stand  quickly.  Squidward  looks  out  the  window  again.] ; s1e4_7
Squidward; I  thought  I...  Huh? ; s1e4_8
SpongeBob; Hey,  Squidward.  Wanna  blow  some  bubbles?  Only  25  cents. ; s1e4_9
Squidward; Oh,  right.  Like  I  would  spend  a  moment  of  my  time  blowing  bubbles. ; s1e4_10
SpongeBob; Uh  huh. ; s1e4_11
Squidward; Oh,  puh-lease.  I  mean,  who  in  the  world  would  pay  to  blow  bubbles?  [Patrick  comes  out  of  his  house,  stuck  to  the  underside  of  the  rock] ; s1e4_12
Patrick; Good  morning.  [a  TV,  lamp,  and  chair  are  seen  below  Patrick's  rock.  Patrick  falls  off  his  rock,  onto  his  furniture,  and  begins  screaming] ; s1e4_13
Squidward; Oh,  boy.  [Patrick  walks  over  to  SpongeBob] ; s1e4_14
SpongeBob; Good  morning  to  you,  sir.  Would  you  care  to  blow  a  bubble? ; s1e4_15
Patrick; Hmm,  how  much  is  it? ; s1e4_16
SpongeBob; Only  a  quarter. ; s1e4_17
Patrick; Sounds  reasonable.  [whispering]  Uh,  I'm  going  to  need  to  borrow  a  quarter. ; s1e4_18
SpongeBob; Sure  thing,  Patrick.  [pulls  out  a  quarter  and  he  gives  it  to  Patrick] ; s1e4_19
Patrick; Ah,  one  quarter.  [hands  the  quarter  back  to  SpongeBob,  whom  bites  it  to  see  if  it's  real] ; s1e4_20
SpongeBob; Thank  you.  [cuts  back  to  Squidward] ; s1e4_21
Squidward; Hmm,  business  is  booming.  [laughs]  How  did  I  ever  get  surrounded  by  such  loser  neighbors?  Uh-huh.  [continues  playing.  Cut  back  to  SpongeBob  and  Patrick.  SpongeBob  dips  the  wand  in  the  bubble  soap] ; s1e4_22
SpongeBob;" One  bubble  wand,  dipped  and  ready  to  go.  [Patrick  grabs  the  wand  from  SpongeBob,  inhales  deeply  and  begins  to  blow,  but  a  bubble  doesn't  come  out.  He  pants  and  blows  again.  After  a  while,  SpongeBob  puts  up  a  ""Lessons""  sign.  Patrick  then  loses  his  breath]  Could  I  interest  you  in  some  lessons?  Only  25  cents. "; s1e4_23
Patrick; Uh,  very  well,  then.  Hey,  Sponge,  can  I  borrow  another  quarter?  [SpongeBob  hands  Patrick  a  quarter]  Thanks.  [winks  and  hands  the  quarter  back  to  SpongeBob] ; s1e4_24
SpongeBob; Okay,  Patrick,  it's  all  in  the  technique.  [starts  doing  his  infamous  routine]  First  go  like  this,  spin  around.  Stop!  Double  take  three  times:  one,  two,  three.  Then,  pelvic  thrust!  Whoooo!  Whooooooo!  Stop  on  your  right  foot,  don't  forget  it!  Now  it's  time  to  bring  it  around  town.  Bring-it-around-town.  Then  you  do  this,  then  this,  and  this,  and  that,  and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that,  and  then...  [blows  bubbles  shaped  like  ducks] ; s1e4_25
Patrick; Oooh.  [SpongeBob  pops  out  of  nowhere  and  blows  a  box.  Patrick  giggles  and  SpongeBob  blows  a  caterpillar]  Ah!  [The  caterpillar  then  pops  one-by-one,  with  descending  sounds.  Patrick  continues  to  giggle.  SpongeBob  blows  a  tugboat,  and  it  floats  off,  pops,  and  makes  a  foghorn  noise.  Cuts  to  inside  of  Squidward's  house] ; s1e4_26
Squidward; Huh?  [shakes  his  clarinet.  Cut  back  to  outside  with  SpongeBob  and  Patrick] ; s1e4_27
SpongeBob;" And  now...  with  two  hands!  [inhales  deeply  and  blows  out  an  elephant.  Circus  music,  in  particular  part  of  the  piece  ""Entry  of  the  Gladiators,""  starts  playing.] "; s1e4_28
Patrick;" [laughs]  It's  a  giraffe!  [Patrick  continues  laughing  as  the  elephant  floats  over  into  Squidward's  house.  SpongeBob  then  worried  as  the  bubble  pops  and  tons  of  smaller  bubbles  come  out  of  both  windows  of  the  house  while  an  elephant  sounds.  Squidward  opens  the  door  with  a  sour  look  on  his  face.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  hide  behind  the  stand.  SpongeBob  places  a  ""Closed""  sign  on  it.  Squidward  looks  over  the  stand] "; s1e4_29
SpongeBob; Excuse  me,  sir,  but  we  are  clo- ; s1e4_30
Squidward; Don't  give  me  any  of  that!  How  can  you  two  possibly  make  all  this  noise  just  blowing  bubbles?! ; s1e4_31
SpongeBob; We're  not  just  blowing  bubbles.  We're  making  bubble  art.  Watch  carefully.  [does  his  infamous  routine  again]  First  go  like  this,  spin  around.  Stop!  Double  take  three  times:  one,  two,  three.  Then  pelvic  thrust!  Whoooo!  Whooooooo!  Stop  on  your  right  foot,  don't  forget  it!  Now  it's  time  to  bring  it  around  town.  Bring-it-around-town.  Then  you  do  this,  then  this,  and  this,  and  that,  and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that,  and  then...  [blows  a  butterfly,  which  flies  over  to  Squidward,  lands  on  his  head,  and  pops] ; s1e4_32
Squidward; That's  not  art.  That's  just  annoying.  Blowing  bubbles,  that's  the  lamest  idea  I  have  ever  heard.  [SpongeBob  and  Patrick,  now  depressed,  head  to  SpongeBob's  house]  You  should  be  ashamed  of  yourselves.  [SpongeBob  closes  the  door  as  Squidward  laughs  to  himself]  Bubbles.  [continues  laughing]  Art.  [mumbles,  and  picks  up  the  bubble  wand,  sniffs  it,  and  inhales  to  blow.  Then,  SpongeBob  pops  up  out  of  nowhere] ; s1e4_33
SpongeBob; That'll  be  25  cents,  sir. ; s1e4_34
Squidward; Ah,  whoa,  what?  [SpongeBob  blinks]  Oh...  who-who  would  pay  25  cents  to  blow  bubbles? ; s1e4_35
SpongeBob;" We  also  offer  lessons  for  beginners.  [puts  the  ""Lessons""  sign  up] "; s1e4_36
Squidward; Beginners?  What  could  be  more  simple  than  blowing  a  stupid  bubble?  [pulls  a  quarter  out]  Here's  your  25  cents!  [SpongeBob  bites  it  to  see  if  it's  real  and  it  bends]  Watch  and  learn.  [inhales  and  blows,  but  nothing  happens]  Uhh...  wait,  wait,  wait.  [he  inhales  and  blows  again,  but  nothing  happens  again]  One  more  time.  Here.  Wait.  [inhales  and  blows  again,  and  a  small  bubble  comes  out  and  instantly  falls  to  the  ground  and  bursts,  making  a  fart  sound.  Looks  over  at  SpongeBob  and  Patrick.  They  gulp,  and  then  start  whistling.  Squidward  places  another  quarter  on  the  stand]  Uhh...  Just  a  mere  warm-up.  [dips  the  wand  in  the  bubble  container,  inhales  deeply  and  blows  hard.  The  bubble  falls  to  the  ground  again,  making  another  fart  sound,  gets  another  quarter  out  and  puts  it  on  the  stand] ; s1e4_37
SpongeBob; Hey,  Squidward,  remember  the  technique.  [Squidward  keeps  trying  to  blow  bubbles  while  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  are  trying  to  show  him  the  technique]  Squidward,  technique!  You  do  this,  and  this,  step  back.... ; s1e4_38
Patrick; Hey!  Technique,  Squidward! ; s1e4_39
SpongeBob; Spin  around  like  thi�  Like  this...  Look  at  me,  over  here,  one...  two....  yeah,  three... ; s1e4_40
Patrick; The  pelvic  woo! ; s1e4_41
SpongeBob;" Look,  we're  doing  the  technique!  And  don't  for...  Don't  forget  the  ""Woooooo!""  Squidward? "; s1e4_42
Patrick; Listen  to  Sponge! ; s1e4_43
SpongeBob; Technique!  Technique!  Technique! ; s1e4_44
SpongeBob; [weakly]  You're  not  doing  the  technique. ; s1e4_45
Patrick;Technique.; s1e4_46
Squidward; Technique?  Technique!?  Technique,  technique,  technique,  technique,  technique!  [starts  to  do  the  infamous  routine,  while  imitating  SpongeBob]  First  I  do  this,  spin  around.  Stop.  Double  take  three  times.  And  here  we  go,  pelvic  thrust.  Wehooooo!  Wehoohoo!  Oh,  stop  on  your  right  foot,  don't  forget  it.  Then,  bring  it  around  town.  And  a  little  of  this,  a  little  of  that,  a  little  of  this,  this,  this,  this,  that,  that,  that,  that.  And  that,  that,  that  that  that  that!  And  then...  [screams  very  loudly  into  the  wand,  blowing  a  gargantuan,  unshaped  bubble] ; s1e4_47
SpongeBob; All  right,  Squid.  That  was  so  good. ; s1e4_48
Patrick; Squid  is  number  one. ; s1e4_49
Squidward; I  really  did  it,  didn't  I?  Hey,  you  guys  didn't  blow  anything  like  that. ; s1e4_50
SpongeBob;No.; s1e4_51
Squidward; Now  that's  a  bubble. ; s1e4_52
SpongeBob; You  said  it,  Squidward.  See,  it  is  all  in  the  technique. ; s1e4_53
Patrick; Yeah,  technique. ; s1e4_54
Squidward; Technique?  Hah.  SpongeBob,  you  don't  think  I  created  that  [kisses  his  tentacle]  beautiful  work  of  art  with  your  help?  [starts  laughing]  Come  on,  it's  in  my  genes. ; s1e4_55
Squidward; Thank  you,  thank  you,  thank  you.  [starts  to  play  his  clarinet.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  chant  Squidward's  name.  At  one  point,  they  belly  flop  each  other  and  Patrick  falls  on  the  ground.]  I  rock.  [continues  to  play  his  clarinet.  As  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  continue  to  chant,  Squidward's  bubble  flies  over  them,  covers  Squidward's  house,  and  pulls  it  out  of  the  ground  and  up  towards  the  top  of  the  ocean.  SpongeBob  notices  and  stops  Patrick] ; s1e4_56
SpongeBob; [concerned]  Squidward!  [Patrick  now  notices] ; s1e4_57
Squidward; Hello,  my  friends.  You  are  looking  at  a...  [sees  how  high  he  is  from  the  sky] ; s1e4_58
Squidward; ...genius.  [the  bubble  explodes  in  the  air  and  then  the  ground  violently  rumbles  and  shakes.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  look  in  awe] ; s1e4_59
{system}; [Pan  across  Goo  Lagoon] ;s1e5_1
French Narrator; Ah,  Goo  Lagoon.  A  stinky  mud  puddle  to  you  and  me.  But  to  the  inhabitants  of  Bikini  Bottom,  a  wonderful,  stinky  mud  puddle.  [SpongeBob  and  Sandy  sit  enjoying  the  beach.  SpongeBob  sighs] ;s1e5_2
SpongeBob; What  a  great  day.  [runs  off]  Hey,  Sandy!  Look!  [now  covered  in  a  mound  of  sand]  I'm  Sandy!  [Sandy  laughs.  SpongeBob  forms  sand  around  his  head  and  nose  to  look  like  Squidward  and  imitates  his  voice]  Hey  Sandy,  who  am  I?  [Sandy  still  laughs.  SpongeBob  picks  up  a  sand  phone]  Hello,  SpongeBob.  Could  you  keep  it  down?  I'm  trying  to  be  boring.  [Sandy  continues  laughing] ;s1e5_3
Sandy; SpongeBob!  [a  doorbell  rings,  SpongeBob  walks  in  carrying  sand  pizza  boxes  and  wearing  a  Krusty  Krab  sand  hat] ;s1e5_4
SpongeBob; Did  anyone  order  twenty  pepperoni  and  sand  pizzas?  [he  and  Sandy  laugh  together.  Larry  walks  up] ;s1e5_5
Larry; Hey,  Sandy.  Hey,  SpongeBob. ;s1e5_6
Sandy; Hey,  Larry. ;s1e5_7
Larry; You  guys  wanna  go  lift  some  weights? ;s1e5_8
Sandy; Sure.  [she  and  Larry  walk  off]  Well,  come  on,  SpongeBob.  [SpongeBob's  sand  pizzas  and  hat  fall  flat  as  he  walks  on  dejectedly] ;s1e5_9
SpongeBob; [disappointingly]  Coming.  [cut  to  a  group  of  weightlifters,  each  grunting  as  they  work  out.  Larry  turns  to  Sandy] ;s1e5_10
Larry; Give  it  a  try,  Sandy.  [Sandy  stands  in  front  of  a  weight.  She  picks  it  up,  grunting  as  she  does  so.  The  crowd  cheers  for  her,  and  she  throws  the  weight  down] ;s1e5_11
SpongeBob; Good  job,  Sandy.  Well,  that's  about  enough  for  today,  don't  you  think?  [tries  to  walk  off] ;s1e5_12
Larry; How  about  a  little  more  weight?  [bends  down  to  pick  up  a  weight  heavier  than  Sandy's]  Observe.  [grunts  as  he  picks  it  up,  his  eyes  bulging,  and  veins  stick  out  from  his  neck.  The  crowd  cheers,  and  Larry  throws  the  weight  down] ;s1e5_13
SpongeBob; All  right,  stand  back,  everyone.  [picks  up  a  single  twig  from  the  ground.  The  crowd  is  silent.  He  sinks  into  the  sand.  Sandy  walks  to  a  weight] ;s1e5_14
Sandy; Y'all  watch  this!  [picks  up  an  anchor  weight.  The  crowd  cheers  for  her,  but  stop  when  they  realize  Larry  has  lifted  the  spectator  stands]  Way  to  go,  Larry!  [SpongeBob  burrows  into  the  sand,  and  tunnels  over  to  Incidental  36  who  is  picnicking  next  to  a  marshmallow  sack] ;s1e5_15
SpongeBob; Could  I  borrow  a  couple  of  these? ;s1e5_16
SpongeBob; [takes  two  marshmallows  and  places  them  on  the  twig]  And  now,  with  the  addition  of  2,  count  'em,  2  marshmallows.  [preps  himself  for  his  lift,  inhales  deeply,  takes  hold  of  the  twig,  and  is  unable  to  lift  it.  The  crowd  isn't  moved.  He  tries  again.  And  again.  After  a  huge  effort,  SpongeBob  hears  a  rip.  He  looks  down  and  notices  that  he's  ripped  his  pants.  The  crowd  gasps,  then  laughs  at  SpongeBob.  SpongeBob  scuttles  off,  embarrassed.  Scooter  walks  over,  laughing] ;s1e5_17
Scooter; That  was  too  funny.  [slaps  SpongeBob  on  the  back]  You  are  hilarious! ;s1e5_18
Sandy; Ain't  he  the  funniest  little  Sponge  you  ever  saw?  [SpongeBob  grins  widely  which  gave  him  an  idea.  Cut  to  Larry  with  a  volleyball  on  his  claw] ;s1e5_19
Larry; Anybody  up  for  some  volleyball?  [the  ball  volleys  back  and  forth,  until  Larry  spikes  it  into  some  fish  and  the  crowd  cheers  for  him.  SpongeBob  looks  at  him  in  contempt.  A  fish  serves  the  ball  and  as  Larry  is  about  to  hit  it,  SpongeBob  interferes] ;s1e5_20
SpongeBob; I  got  it!  [the  ball  falls  and  SpongeBob  tries  to  serve  it]  Incoming!  [the  serve  misses  and  the  crowd  boos.  He  bends  down  to  pick  the  ball  up  and  rips  his  pants]  Oops,  I  guess  I  ripped  my  pants  again!  [the  crowd  laughs.  Scooter  walks  in  laughing  again] ;s1e5_21
Scooter; Once  again,  dude,  [slaps  SpongeBob  on  the  back]  you  have  split  my  sides!  [he  continues  to  laugh.  Cut  to  a  tossed  Frisbee.  Larry  catches  it  and  throws  it  to  Sandy] ;s1e5_22
SpongeBob; Hey,  Sandy,  how  about  throwing  it  to  me? ;s1e5_23
Sandy; Okay,  here  it  comes!  [SpongeBob  stands  still  and  lets  the  Frisbee  hit  him  on  the  head,  knocking  him  over] ;s1e5_24
SpongeBob; I  could  use  a  hand  here!  [laughs.  Sandy  walks  over  and  helps  him  up] ;s1e5_25
Sandy; You  okay,  SpongeBob? ;s1e5_26
SpongeBob; I  guess  so...  [does  a  handstand,  revealing  his  pants]  ...except  I  ripped  my  pants!  [the  crowd  laughs,  and  Scooter  walks  up  to  SpongeBob  once  again] ;s1e5_27
Scooter; You  still  got  it,  dude!  [slaps  SpongeBob  on  the  back  again.  Cut  to  SpongeBob  and  Sandy  walking  to  an  ice  cream  vendor] ;s1e5_28
SpongeBob; I'll  take  a  banana  split. ;s1e5_29
SpongeBob; That's  okay.  I  already  split  my  pants!  Get  it?  [Sandy  giggles] ;s1e5_30
SpongeBob; How  about  ripple?  [does  so,  Sandy  giggles  again]  No,  thanks,  already  got  one!  [Sandy  drops  laughing,  Incidental  39  is  unamused,  and  SpongeBob  happily  bounces  off  to  a  snack  bar.  SpongeBob  runs  up  to  Incidental  40,  knocking  his  drink  over]  Is  that  a  burger  you're  eating? ;s1e5_31
SpongeBob; You  know  what  would  go  good  with  that? ;s1e5_32
SpongeBob; [whispers]  Ripped...  pants.  [smiles  widely  and  shows  the  annoyed  Incidental  40  his  ripped  pants.  SpongeBob  then  runs  around  the  snack  bar,  laughing.  He  comes  up  in-between  two  fish]  Ripped  pants  a  la  mode!  [rips  his  pants,  the  fish  are  annoyed.  Cut  to  SpongeBob  being  in  the  kitchen  of  the  snack  bar,  next  to  the  fry  cook]  Delivery!  Did  you  order  twenty  cases  of  ripped  pants?  [shoves  his  behind  through  the  box,  revealing  his  ripped  pants,  then  laughs  and  the  box  is  revealed  to  have  no  lower  part.  The  fry  cook  groans  disgustedly.  Cut  to  a  broadcasting  booth  over  looking  the  lagoon] ;s1e5_33
Sports guy; Surf's  up  in  the  Goo  Lagoon.  [fish  are  surfing.  Close-up  of  Perch  Perkins]  And  here  comes  Larry,  doing  his  trademark  lay-back.  [cut  to  Larry  lying  on  his  surfboard]  There  goes  Sandy,  hanging  ten...  fingers,  that  is.  [cut  to  Sandy  doing  a  handstand  on  her  surfboard]  There  goes  SpongeBob...  [rip]  ripping  his  pants  again.  [The  sports  guy  is  annoyed,  then  cut  to  SpongeBob  ripping  his  pants  on  his  surfboard.  A  wave  knocks  SpongeBob  off  his  surfboard  and  washes  him  up  on  the  beach] ;s1e5_34
Sandy;SpongeBob!;s1e5_35
SpongeBob; [to  Incidental  155]  Come  closer.  [a  divine  light  shines  on  him]  I  need...  I  need... ;s1e5_36
SpongeBob; [pats  Incidental  155  on  the  shoulder.  Close  up  of  SpongeBob's  mouth]  A  tailor.  [the  light  turns  off,  accompanied  by  a  light  switch]  Because  I  ripped  my  pants!  [laughs.  Incidental  155  makes  an  annoyed  expression,  drops  SpongeBob,  and  the  crowd  surrounding  him  walks  off  with  annoyance.  SpongeBob  is  left  alone  and  Sandy  walks  up  to  him  angry] ;s1e5_37
Sandy; That  wasn't  funny,  SpongeBob!  Y'all  had  me  worried  sick!  [walks  off  as  Scooter  walks  towards  SpongeBob  and  looks  at  him  sadly] ;s1e5_38
Scooter; [shakes  his  head]  Dude...  [walks  off.  Cut  to  a  dressing  tent,  with  SpongeBob  inside] ;s1e5_39
SpongeBob;" [thinking]  Come  on,  SpongeBob,  you're  losing  them!  Think!  Your  public's  waiting.  [speaking]  Let's  see...  [checking  them  off  a  list]  ""Lifting  weights  -  big  laugh,""  ""Frisbee  in  face  -  kills,""  ""Surfing  -  knocks  'em  dead,""  ""Pretending  to  drown,""  [uses  his  pencil  to  write  the  word  ""NO""  and  circle  it]  No.  Come  on,  think!  I  got  it!  Hey,  everybody!  [runs  out  of  the  dressing  tent]  Not  ripped  pants!  [tears  his  pants  off]  Pants  ripped  off.  Huh?  Someone  call  the  police.  There's  a  pants  thief  on  the  loose!  [the  wind  howls,  SpongeBob  standing  alone  on  the  beach.  A  tumbleweed  rolls  by.  SpongeBob  turns  and  hears  party  music  at  a  distance,  and  sees  Larry  and  Sandy  playing  volleyball]  Oh,  no,  everybody's  gone,  even  Sandy.  She'd  rather  hang  out  with  Larry!  Oh,  no.  [lies  on  the  beach  as  he  continues  saying,  no]  We  blew  it,  pants.  [throws  his  pants  aside] ";s1e5_40
Pants;" What  do  you  mean,  ""we?""  [the  pants  walk  off,  leaving  SpongeBob  alone] ";s1e5_41
SpongeBob; Oh,  I  didn't  have  to  be  a  fool  to  get  Sandy's  attention.  Am  I  the  biggest  loser  on  the  beach?!  [Incidental  22  walks  up  to  SpongeBob,  shining  red] ;s1e5_42
SpongeBob; Ouch.  [a  fish  walks  up  to  the  two] ;s1e5_43
Loser; No,  I  am.  I  got  sand  in  my  buns.  [shows  them  two  sandy  hamburger  buns.  There  is  a  rumbling  coming  from  the  sand  and  a  whale  pops  his  head  out  of  the  sand] ;s1e5_44
Frank; No,  I'm  the  biggest  loser  on  the  beach.  They  buried  me  in  the  sand  and  forgot  me. ;s1e5_45
All; What  happened  to  you? ;s1e5_46
SpongeBob; I  lost  my  best  friend. ;s1e5_47
All; How?  [SpongeBob  grabs  a  sand  guitar  and  sings  he  is  front  of  the  sand  castle  and  a  sand  telephone  he  built  earlier] ;s1e5_48
SpongeBob;" When  I  ripped...  [his  underwear  starts  ripping]  my  pants.  [starts  to  sing]  I  thought  that  I  had  everybody  by  my  side,  but  I  went  and  blew  it  all  sky-high,  and  now  she  won't  even  spare  a  passing  glance,  [The  curtain  comes  down  and  a  spotlight  shines  on  SpongeBob]  all  just  because  I  [rips  his  underwear  again]  ripped  my  pants.  [the  other  three  ""losers  of  the  beach""  assemble  on  a  sand  stage  with  sand  instruments  and  sing] ";s1e5_49
All; When  big  Larry  came  round  just  to  put  him  down,  SpongeBob  turned  into  a  clown,  and  no  girl  ever  wants  to  dance  with  a  fool  who  went  and  [Incidental  22  turns  around  and  suddenly,  her  bottom  then  rips,  splitting  open,  revealing  her  white  underwear]  ripped  his  pants! ;s1e5_50
All; Or  sand  in  your  buns!  [instrumental  break.  The  loser  scrapes  the  two  buns  together  to  make  a  rhythm  then  the  curtain  shows  waves  crashing  about] ;s1e5_51
SpongeBob; Now  I  learned  a  lesson  I  won't  soon  forget...  so  listen  and  you  won't  regret.  Be  true  to  yourself;s1e5_52
Sandy;SpongeBob!;s1e5_53
SpongeBob; Sandy!  [she  gets  onstage  and  hugs  SpongeBob.  He  returns  the  embrace] ;s1e5_54
Sandy; Your  song  is  true.  If  y'all  want  to  be  my  friend,  just  be  yourself.  [Larry  walks  up] ;s1e5_55
Larry; [impressed  with  SpongeBob's  singing  during  the  big  concert]  SpongeBob,  that  was  so  righteous.  [hands  SpongeBob  a  pencil]  Would  you...  sign  my  pants? ;s1e5_56
SpongeBob;" Absolutely,  buddy.  [SpongeBob  bends  down  to  sign  Larry's  pants.  His  underwear  then  rips  off  completely,  leaving  SpongeBob  ""au  naturel.""  Someone  off-screen  whistles.  SpongeBob  covers  his  crotch,  grins,  and  blushes  sheepishly] ";s1e5_57
{system}; [Opens  in  on  a  bunch  of  jellyfish  and  one  flying  out  of  the  field  towards  Conch  Street];s1e6_1
 French  Narrator ; Ah,  ze  early  morning  in  Bikini  Bottom,  when  the  jellyfish  are  buzzing  about  and  making  their  jellyfish  jelly.  [A  jellyfish  flies  by  SpongeBob's  house.  Just  then  a  giant  periscope  comes  out  of  the  porthole]  Oh,  what  is  happening  here?  [SpongeBob  is  looking  through  the  periscope  from  inside,  Patrick  waits  behind  him]  Collectors?  [SpongeBob  nods  to  Patrick.  They  both  run  toward  two  vents:  one  square-shaped,  one  circular-shaped.  SpongeBob  takes  the  square  one  and  Patrick  takes  the  circle  one.  The  two  approach  ropes  and  slide  down  them.  At  the  bottom,  they  encounter  a  case  of  rope  burn  and  jump  around  frantically.  They  blow  their  hands  to  remove  the  burn.  Once  the  burn  is  gone,  the  two  get  serious  again  and  approach  a  closet.  It  houses  three  sets  of  poles  and  three  sets  of  nets.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  take  one  of  each,  connect  them  and  test  their  mobility.  SpongeBob  puts  on  his  glasses  and  the  two  seriously  step  out  ready  for  action.  A  jellyfish  flies  by  and  the  two  joyfully  sing  and  follow  it] ;s1e6_2
SpongeBob;[off-screen]  I  think  I've  got  it!  Wait  a  minute...  [we  hear  jellyfish  stings  and  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  screaming.  The  two  run  back  the  way  they  came,  being  chased  by  the  jellyfish.  They  fall  into  a  heap  in  front  of  Squidward's  house.  The  jellyfish  stings  both  of  their  backsides  and  flies  off.  Just  then,  Squidward  comes  out  of  his  house  with  his  bike] ;s1e6_3
Squidward;Hm.;s1e6_4
SpongeBob; Hey,  Squidward,  we're  jellyfishing. ;s1e6_5
Squidward; Of  course  you  are.  Bye  now.  [walks  off] ;s1e6_6
SpongeBob; Wait!  We  made  a  net  especially  for  you!  [holds  it  up]  Do  you  want  to  come  with  us? ;s1e6_7
Squidward; [sarcastically]  Really?  Jellyfishing  with  you  guys?  Oh,  that  would  be  the  best  day  ever  in  my  book!  I  would  love  to  go  jellyfishing!  I  can't  think  of  anything  I'd  like  to  do  more  on  my  day  off  than  go  jellyfishing  with  my  two  best  friends:  SpongeBob  and...  uh... ;s1e6_8
Patrick;Patrick.;s1e6_9
Squidward; Right.  But  I  can't.  Bye  bye. ;s1e6_10
SpongeBob; Next  time? ;s1e6_11
Squidward; Oh  sure,  right!  Whatever.  [bikes  away under  breath]  Like  that'll  ever  happen. ;s1e6_12
SpongeBob; You  know,  Patrick?  It  always  seems  like  Squidward  never  has  time  for  fun. ;s1e6_13
Patrick; Maybe  he  doesn't  like  us. ;s1e6_14
SpongeBob; No,  are  you  kidding?  We're  his  best  friends.  [Squidward  bikes  down  a  path,  chuckling  to  himself] ;s1e6_15
Squidward; Jellyfishing.  [as  he  laughs,  his  nose  inflates  and  deflates]  Oh,  I'll  go.  [laughs]  I  sure  had  them  going.  [laughs.  But,  he  doesn't  see  a  jellyfish  which  is  going  in  the  opposite  direction.  He  keeps  on  laughing.  The  jellyfish  ends  up  swimming  in  Squidward's  mouth  and  he  coughs  it  out]  Stupid  jellyfish!  Beat  it!  [He  hits  it,  and  the  jellyfish  goes  up  his  shirt  and  starts  zapping  him,  causing  Squidward  to  veer  out  of  control.  His  tentacles  get  tangled  on  the  pedals  and  he  trips  on  a  rock.  He  bounces  down  a  hill  and  then  falls  down  a  jagged  rocky  cliff.  He  reaches  the  bottom  of  the  cliff  and  immediately  an  atomic  explosion  appears.]  Ow... ;s1e6_16
{system};" [Cut  to  SpongeBob  sitting  at  his  house.  He  looks  out  the  window.  But,  no  one  is  there.  He  sits  down  again.  He  notices  a  photo  of  him  and  an  unhappy  Squidward  that  reads,  ""Friends.""  He  puts  it  down  and  looks  out  the  window  again.  Squidward,  who's  in  a  wheelchair  and  all  bandaged  up  rolls  down  the  path]";s1e6_17
SpongeBob; Squid's  back!  [phones  Patrick,  which  causes  the  screen  to  split  diagonally,  revealing  Patrick  on  the  bottom] ;s1e6_19
Patrick;Yello?;s1e6_20
SpongeBob; Hey,  Patrick,  Squid's  home!  And  we're  gonna  make  sure  he's  greeted  by  his  two  best  friends! ;s1e6_21
Patrick; Oh,  great!  Who  are  they?  [it's  revealed  that  the  two  are  phoning  each  other  from  across  the  room,  just  with  different  wallpapers] ;s1e6_22
SpongeBob;" Us!  [the  two  hang  up]  Let's  go!  [Squidward  wheels  himself  into  his  house.  The  lights  suddenly  turn  on,  and  party  horns  can  be  heard.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  are  inside  his  house  with  a  banner  that  says  ""Welcome  Home""]  Welcome  home,  Squidward! ";s1e6_23
Patrick; Merry  Christmas! ;s1e6_24
SpongeBob; We're  gonna  make  this  your  best  day  ever!  [Squidward  turns  around  and  wheels  out.  SpongeBob  rolls  him  back  in]  Well,  your  best  day's  sure  not  gonna  be  out  there.  [SpongeBob  wheels  Squidward  to  a  table  where  Patrick  stands  by  a  bowl  of  soup] ;s1e6_25
Patrick;" How  about  some  soup  on  your  best  day  ever?  [Squidward  looks  at  the  soup  and  sees  condensed  Alphabet  Soup  letters  spelling  out,  ""Best  Day  Ever""  Patrick  holds  up  a  spoon]  Here  we  go!  [scoops  some  up,  but  Squidward  makes  some  grunting  noises  in  refusal]  Oh,  it's  a  little  hot.  [blows  on  the  spoon,  sending  steaming  hot  soup  splashing  all  over  Squidward's  bandaged  face.  Patrick  notices  his  spoon  is  empty  and  refills  it  to  blow  on,  covering  Squidward  in  more  hot  soup.  This  continues  for  three  times  until  SpongeBob  pulls  the  soup  bowl  away  and  laughs  nervously] ";s1e6_26
SpongeBob; I  don't  think  soup  is  the  best  thing  for  him  on  his  best  day  ever.  [walks  near  a  music  stand  and  Squidward's  clarinet]  How  about  some  music  on  your  best  day  ever?  Played  on  your  very  own  clarinet.  [blows  into  it,  but  wind  comes  out  causing  Squidward  to  groan]  Sorry,  my  lips  are  a  little  dry.  [wets  his  lips  exaggeratedly  long  and  wet.  Just  when  he  prepares  to  blow,  a  disgusted  Patrick  snatches  the  clarinet  away] ;s1e6_27
Patrick; Music  isn't  best  either! ;s1e6_28
SpongeBob; But  what  is  best  is  what  we  saved  for  last.  The  one  sure-fire  thing  to  make  your  best  day  ever  the  best  day  ever!  [cut  to  SpongeBob,  Patrick  and  Squidward  in  Jellyfish  Fields.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  hold  nets] ;s1e6_29
{system}; [chanting]  Jellyfishing,  jellyfishing,  jellyfishing,  jellyfishing,  jellyfishing,  jellyfishing,  jellyfishing,  jellyfishing,  jellyfishing! ;s1e6_30
SpongeBob; This  is  Jellyfish  Fields,  where  wild  jellyfish  roam  just  waiting  to  be  captured.  [Squidward  rides  away,  but  SpongeBob  catches  him]  No,  no,  Squid!  Over  here!  I  know  you're  eager,  but  you  don't  even  have  your  net.  Patrick,  fix  him  up  while  I  find  him  a  good  specimen. ;s1e6_31
Patrick; Firmly  grasp  it  in  your  hand.  [places  the  pole  end  on  Squidward's  bandaged  hand,  but  it  falls  because  he  can't  grab,  Patrick  picks  it  up]  Firmly  grasp  it.  [does  it  again  and  the  results  are  the  same.  Patrick  gets  frustrated]  Firmly  grasp  it.  [forcefully  jabs  the  net  through  Squidward's  bandaged  hand.  Squidward  lets  out  a  muffled  pained  scream]  That  ought  to  do  it.  [SpongeBob  spots  a  jellyfish] ;s1e6_32
SpongeBob; There's  one  in  position.  Ready...  set...  go!  [the  two  yell  out  words  of  encouragement  to  Squidward  and  jump  up  and  down,  but  Squidward  isn't  budging.  The  two  eventually  notice  Squidward  isn't  going  anywhere.  They  again  encourage  him,  but  still  nothing  happens] ;s1e6_33
Patrick;" I  think  we  gotta  show  him  how  it's  done.  [in  the  tune  of  ""The  Beautiful  Blue  Danube,""  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  dance  along  next  to  the  jellyfish  and  try  to  catch  it.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  sing,  and  even  the  jellyfish  hums  out  some  music.  After  several  attempts,  they  get  into  a  big  fight  with  stinging  and  such.  The  jellyfish  escapes  the  squabbles  and  swims  by  Squidward  and  stings  him  on  the  nose.  Squidward,  mad,  goes  after  the  jellyfish.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick,  still  getting  stung  by  jellyfish,  notice] ";s1e6_34
SpongeBob;" Hey,  look!  Squid's  doing  it!  [as  Squidward  chases,  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  cheer  him  on.  His  wheelchair  is  stopped  by  a  rock,  but  he  eventually  gets  back  on  track.  The  jellyfish  lands  on  a  pink  ""rock""  and  Squidward  catches  it.  He  laughs  triumphantly,  but  muffled  due  to  the  bandages  and  whacks  the  net  against  the  ""rock.""  The  ""rock""  surfaces,  revealing  to  be  a  really  huge  jellyfish--the  Queen  Jellyfish.  She  now  floats  above  Squidward.  Squidward  gulps.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  look  on.] ";s1e6_35
Patrick; This  guy's  good. ;s1e6_36
SpongeBob; He's  a  natural! ;s1e6_37
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  start  simultaneously  cheering  Squidward  on  as  he  tries  to  get  away  from  the  Queen  Jellyfish.] ;s1e6_38
Patrick; Yeah,  you  got  it,  Squidward! ;s1e6_39
SpongeBob; Yeah,  you're  doing  great!  Go,  Squid,  go! ;s1e6_40
Patrick; Yeah,  you're  doing  it,  Squid!  See  what  you've  been  missing?! ;s1e6_41
SpongeBob; Yeah,  you  got,  Squid! ;s1e6_42
Patrick; You  got  what  you  wanted,  Squidward!  You  can  go  that  distance!  Use  that  net! ;s1e6_43
SpongeBob; Be  the  net! ;s1e6_44
Patrick; Yeah!  You're  feeling  it,  Squid!  That's  it,  all  the  way!  The  last  6  miles,  make  that,  Squid!  Go,  go,  go! ;s1e6_45
SpongeBob; Yeah,  go  by  the  eye  of  the  tiger,  by  the  eye  of  the  tiger,  by  the  eye  of  the  tiger!  Better,  better,  better!  Yeah,  yeah,  yeah!  You've  got  it  now! ;s1e6_46
Patrick; It's  in  the  bag! ;s1e6_47
SpongeBob; This  is  really  your  best  day  ever,  isn't  it? ;s1e6_48
{system}; [The  Queen  Jellyfish  gives  Squidward  an  extremely  powerful  sting.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  stop  cheering.] ;s1e6_49
Both;Oooh...;s1e6_50
{system}; [Cut  to  the  next  day  where  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  walking  in  front  of  Squidward's  place  covered  in  bandages] ;s1e6_51
SpongeBob; Hey,  Patrick.  Well...  [sighs]  Thought  yesterday  went...  [hesitates]  pretty  well,  don't  you  think? ;s1e6_52
Patrick; I  had  fun. ;s1e6_53
SpongeBob; Me  too.  [some  whirring  is  heard  in  the  background] ;s1e6_54
Patrick; Here  comes  Squidward! ;s1e6_55
SpongeBob; Oh,  great.  [Squidward  approaches  in  a  stretcher]  Hey,  Squid!  How  about  that...  [Squidward  rolls  down  the  front  walk  in  a  wheeled  medical  bed  with  a  container  of  life-saving  fluid  and  in  a  full  body  cast.]  ...best  day  ever? ;s1e6_56
Patrick; There's  always  tomorrow!  [Squidward's  bed  bangs  on  the  door,  trying  to  get  in] ;s1e6_57
SpongeBob; Um,  we're  really  sorry  about  what  happened  yesterday,  Squidward.  [bangs  the  door  again]  Um,  we  got  you  a  present!  [it's  the  jellyfish  that  caused  Squidward  to  encounter  the  Queen  Jellyfish  in  a  jar]  It's  the  jellyfish.  [Squidward  scowls] ;s1e6_58
Patrick; You  know,  from  yesterday! ;s1e6_59
SpongeBob; You're  not  still  mad,  are  you?  [Squidward  opens  the  jar  in  SpongeBob  and  Patrick's  direction] ;s1e6_60
Patrick; Yup,  he's  still  mad.  [The  jellyfish  chases  after  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  and  stings  them  repeatedly  as  they  run  into  the  distance.  Squidward  laughs  to  himself,  his  nose  inflating  and  deflating  again.  The  Queen  Jellyfish  returns  and  zaps  him  again.  Now  he's  burnt  to  a  crisp.  The  cast  cracks  off  in  pieces,  leaving  a  completely  blackened  Squidward] ;s1e6_61
Squidward;Ow.;s1e6_62
{system}; [View  of  the  Krusty  Krab] ;s1e7_1
Squidward; [from  inside]  One  Krabby  Patty  for  table  two.  SpongeBob,  I  don't  have  the  whole  day. ;s1e7_2
{system}; [Cut  to  inside  of  the  kitchen] ;s1e7_3
SpongeBob; [speaking  in  French  accent]  Oui,  oui.  Un  Krabby  Patty,  Monsieur.  First,  les  patty.  [flips  it  up  in  the  air  and  it  falls  into  one  of  his  holes.  He  holds  up  the  other  ingredients.] ;s1e7_4
Squidward; Come  on,  SpongeBob! ;s1e7_5
SpongeBob; Next,  les  ingredients.  [throws  them  in  the  air]  Ah,  oui!  [catches  them  in  his  holes  and  his  pants]  Les  mustard.  [squirts  some  mustard  out  and  it  lands  in  his  eye] ;s1e7_6
Squidward; Les  quit  fooling  around,  where's  my  Krabby  Patty? ;s1e7_7
SpongeBob; Les  hold  on  a  second!  [takes  his  head  and  shakes  it  all  up.  When  he  puts  it  back  on  his  body,  his  eyes  roll  around.]  And...voila.  [goes  up  to  Squidward  and  pulls  a  Krabby  Patty  from  under  his  nose  speaking  in  normal  voice]  It's  under  your  nose!  [laughs  and  puts  it  on  a  plate.  Squidward  pretends  to  laugh.] ;s1e7_8
Squidward; You're  killing  me,  SpongeBob!  Ha  ha  ha...  you  really  are.  [Close-up  on  the  patty] ;s1e7_9
SpongeBob; Look  at  it,  Squidward.  Mr.  Krabs'  gift  to  all  of  Bikini  Bottom  --  the  Krabby  Patty.. ;s1e7_10
Squidward; Okay,  give  it  to  me.  [the  Krabby  Patty  flies  off  of  the  plate  and  starts  bouncing  all  over  the  place]  Come  on  SpongeBob,  stop  it! ;s1e7_11
SpongeBob; I  swear  I'm  not  doing  anything.  Mr.  Krabs!  The  Krabby  Patty  is  haunted!  [The  patty  slithers  out  the  door  and  heads  for  the  exit.  Mr.  Krabs  spears  it  with  his  leg.  A  tiny  thing  comes  out  from  it  and  Mr.  Krabs  inspects  it  with  a  magnifying  glass.] ;s1e7_12
 Mr.  Krabs ; Avast,  ye  patty  pirate!  This  is  no  ghost.  This  is...  [view  of  in  the  magnifying  glass,  of  a  tiny  jelly  bean-shaped  green  creature  with  one  eye]  Plankton!  Stealing  me  booty! ;s1e7_13
Plankton; Hear  me,  Krabs!  When  I  discover  your  formula  for  Krabby  Patties,  I'll  run  you  out  of  business!  I  went  to  college!  [Mr.  Krabs  picks  up  the  puny  pest]  Hey!  Let  me  go! ;s1e7_14
 Mr.  Krabs ; Oh,  I'll  let  you  go,  squirt.  On  a  flying  saucer!  [laughs,  then  splats  Plankton  on  a  plate  and  spins  him  back  across  the  street,  to  the  Chum  Bucket]  Back  to  the  Chum  Bucket  with  you! ;s1e7_15
Plankton; You'll  pay  for  this,  Krabs!  [slams  through  the  doors] ;s1e7_16
SpongeBob; Uh...  Plankton,  sir? ;s1e7_17
 Mr.  Krabs ; Aye,  he's  been  trying  to  steal  me  secret  formula  for  years,  but  you  haven't  got  it  yet,  have  ye,  bug?  [laughs.  SpongeBob  joins  in,  braying  with  laughter.  Mr.  Krabs  stops,  but  SpongeBob  keeps  laughing.]  Okay.  [SpongeBob  keeps  laughing]  Enough,  lad,  it  wasn't  that  funny.  [SpongeBob  keeps  laughing]  Get  back  to  work!  [SpongeBob  stops  laughing.] ;s1e7_18
{system}; [Cut  to  nighttime  at  the  Krusty  Krab.] ;s1e7_19
SpongeBob; [from  inside]  Okay,  Mr.  Krabs,  see  you  tomorrow! ;s1e7_20
 Mr.  Krabs ; Good  night,  me  boy!  [SpongeBob  walks  out  and  walks  past  the  Chum  Bucket  contently] ;s1e7_21
Plankton; [unseen]  Psst...  young  man.  [SpongeBob  looks  around  to  see  where  this  voice  came  from]  Yes,  over  here.  Come  on,  boy,  a  little  closer.  [SpongeBob  walks  forward]  Closer...  [SpongeBob  walks]  Not  that  close!  [a  crunching  sound  is  heard.  SpongeBob  lifts  up  his  shoe  revealing  a  squished  Plankton.]  You  blasted  barnacle  head!  I  mean...  hi. ;s1e7_22
SpongeBob; Plankton?  [SpongeBob  peels  Plankton  off  his  shoe  and  onto  his  hand] ;s1e7_23
Plankton;Ouch!;s1e7_24
SpongeBob; What  do  you  want? ;s1e7_25
Plankton; I  just  want  to  talk.  You  could  say  we're  friends,  right? ;s1e7_26
SpongeBob; Um...  no. ;s1e7_27
Plankton;Acquaintances?;s1e7_28
SpongeBob;No.;s1e7_29
Plankton; [beat]  Well,  we're  both  invertebrates,  aren't  we? ;s1e7_30
SpongeBob; I...  guess  so. ;s1e7_31
Plankton; You  see?  Everything  works  out.  I  have  something  for  you.  I've  been  keeping  it  in  my  secret  compartment.  [rummages  through  his  back  pocket  and  takes  out  a  golden  spatula]  Ching!  [in  unison  with  the  sparkling  of  the  spatula]  Sparkle,  sparkle. ;s1e7_32
SpongeBob; Wow!  A  golden  spatula!  And  it's  even  got  my  name  on  it. ;s1e7_33
Plankton; It's  a  gift!  A  gift  from  a  friend.  [hugs  SpongeBob's  thumb]  Friends  give  each  other  gifts,  and  tomorrow  is  my  birthday.  [puts  a  birthday  hat  on  his  head  and  SpongeBob's  thumb  and  then  blows  a  noisemaker.  He  then  takes  out  a  cake.]  And  you  know  what  I'd  like  more  than  anything  in  the  whole  wide  world?  [blows  out  the  candles] ;s1e7_34
SpongeBob; A  booster  seat?  [Plankton  takes  off  the  hat  and  throws  out  the  cake] ;s1e7_35
Plankton; Booster  seat?  Hot  dog!  I  mean,  no.  What  I  want  for  my  birthday  from  you,  my  friend,  is  one  of  those  [starts  to  drool]  tender...  delicious...  Krabby  Patties!  [SpongeBob  drops  Plankton  and  gasps] ;s1e7_36
SpongeBob; You  just  want  to  be  friends  so  you  can  get  your  hands  on  a  Krabby  Patty!  And  I  bet  it's  not  even  your  birthday  tomorrow! ;s1e7_37
Plankton; Gee,  and  I  thought  you  were  stupid. ;s1e7_38
SpongeBob; You'll  never  get  a  Krabby  Patty  from  me!  [walks  off,  then  stops]  Even  if  we  are  friends!  [runs  off]  Never,  never,  never,  never! ;s1e7_39
Plankton; Oh,  I'll  get  a  Krabby  Patty  and  you're  gonna  hand-deliver  it  to  me  personally!  You  weak-minded  fool!  [takes  out  a  gramophone  that  plays  evil  music  and  laughs  evilly  to  it.] ;s1e7_40
{system}; [Cut  to  SpongeBob's  bedroom,  where  SpongeBob  goes  to  sleep.] ;s1e7_41
SpongeBob; Good  night,  Gary. ;s1e7_42
{system}; [Gary  meows.  SpongeBob  goes  to  sleep.  Just  then,  one  of  the  flowers  on  SpongeBob's  bed  pattern  pops  up.  It's  Plankton  in  disguise,  wearing  a  backpack  that  looks  more  like  an  antenna-like  machine.] ;s1e7_43
Plankton; [chuckling]  SpongeBob,  you  will  be  mine!  [pulls  out  the  gramophone  and  laughs  evilly  to  it,  but  it  actually  plays  a  children's  song  of  the  A-B-C's.] ;s1e7_44
{system}; [Plankton  immediately  realizes  this  and  flips  the  record  around  on  the  other  side.  It  plays  the  evil  music  like  last  time  and  he  laughs.  Then  he  walks  through  one  of  SpongeBob's  holes  and  begins  his  journey.  Plankton  reads  a  map  that  looks  like  a  regular  road  map,  except  with  a  giant  brain  in  the  middle  of  it.] ;s1e7_45
Plankton;" It  should  be  in  here...  but  where?  [pan  out  to  reveal  he's  standing  on  the  brain]  Where?  Oh...  [takes  off  the  antenna  thing  on  his  back]  This  will  be  the  beginning  of  the  end!  [outside,  SpongeBob  rolls  to  his  left  in  his  sleep.  The  brain  falls  to  the  right  inside  and  Plankton  falls  off]  Ouch!  Stupid  brain...  [gives  chase]  Come  back  here,  you  swine!  [SpongeBob  then  rolls  to  his  right.  Inside,  the  brain  squishes  Plankton.  SpongeBob  then  sleeps  on  his  back  and  the  brain  stops  rolling.  Plankton  holds  up  a  roll  of  duct  tape]  That's  it,  brain,  you're  going  down!  [Plankton  uses  tape  to  hold  it  down]  Yes,  yes,  that's  grand.  [takes  out  blueprints]  And  now,  for  my  very  elaborate  and  college-educated  plan.  [the  blueprints  reveal  a  picture  of  the  antenna  thing  labeled  ""Control""  and  an  arrow  pointing  to  a  picture  of  a  brain  labeled  ""Brain.""  Plankton  follows  these  instructions  by  jamming  the  control  in  the  brain]  And  now,  it's  time  for  a  little  wakey-uppy.  [his  hands  on  the  control  levers,  he  uses  his  foot  to  press  the  ""Total  Control""  button.  Outside,  SpongeBob  wakes  up.] ";s1e7_46
SpongeBob; Morning  already?  [Plankton  jams  the  controls  causing  SpongeBob's  legs  to  jam  out  to  his  side.  He  rumbles  and  falls  down.  Plankton  laughs  evilly]  I...  I  feel  a  little  funny  today.  [using  the  controls,  he  makes  SpongeBob  walk.  Plankton  laughs] ;s1e7_47
Plankton; I  have  you  now!  [outside,  SpongeBob  keeps  walking  towards  the  kitchen] ;s1e7_48
SpongeBob; Time  for  a  well-balanced  breakfast.  [rams  through  the  wall  and  through  his  refrigerator,  emerging  with  bread,  a  bottle  of  milk,  and  an  egg  carton  on  his  head]  This  isn't  what  I  had  in  mind.  [walks  towards  the  straps  with  his  pants  attached]  Let  me  just  grab  my  pants.  [walks  toward  them  and  they  spring  him.  He  eventually  gives  free  and  keeps  walking.]  I  guess  I'm  not  wearing  any  pants  today.  [crashes  through  the  side  of  the  wall]  I  guess  I'm  not  using  the  door  either.  See  you  later,  Gary!  ...I  guess.  [Gary  meows]  You're  right,  Gary!  There  is  something  wrong  with  me!  Squidward!  Squidward!  Wake  up!  I  need  some  help!  [inside  Squidward's  house,  he  tries  to  sleep.  Off-screen.]  Squidward!  Help! ;s1e7_49
Squidward; Be  quiet,  SpongeBob! ;s1e7_50
{system}; [SpongeBob  bursts  through  the  wall  of  Squidward's  bedroom] ;s1e7_51
SpongeBob;Help!;s1e7_52
Squidward; SpongeBob!  What  are  you  doing?  I'm  talking  to  you!  SpongeBob!  SpongeBob,  are  you  mad?! ;s1e7_53
{system}; [SpongeBob  turns  his  head  to  Squidward] ;s1e7_54
Plankton; [through  SpongeBob]  Shut  your  mouth,  you  mediocre  clarinet  player. ;s1e7_55
Squidward; Mediocre?  [from  inside,  Plankton  speaks  through  a  microphone] ;s1e7_56
Plankton; You  pretentious,  little  insignificant  artist.  Your  snivelly  creations  are  worth  less  than  a  protozoan's  waste! ;s1e7_57
{system}; [SpongeBob  snaps  out  of  confusion] ;s1e7_58
SpongeBob; Something  must  be  wrong  with  my  brain!  [his  eyes  roll  into  the  back  of  his  head  and  he  sees  Plankton  and  gasps]  Plankton!  [Plankton  raises  his  eyebrow]  What  kind  of  friend  are  you?! ;s1e7_59
Plankton; Nonsense.  You  never  liked  me,  anyway.  You  wouldn't  even  come  to  my  birthday  party!  [from  outside] ;s1e7_60
SpongeBob; Get  out  of  my  head!  Leave  my  brain  alone! ;s1e7_61
Plankton; Never!  Never!  [laughs  and  SpongeBob  walks  out  backwards.  Squidward  turns  pale  and  faints.  SpongeBob  crashes  through  Patrick's  rock  and  reemerges  with  Patrick  sleeping  on  his  head.  SpongeBob  throws  him  off  and  he's  pinned  into  the  ground.  SpongeBob  walks  toward  the  Krusty  Krab.  Inside  SpongeBob.]  Toot  toot!  How  about  a  little  take-out? ;s1e7_62
SpongeBob; No!  No,  never!  [crashes  through  it,  reemerging  with  a  Krabby  Patty.  Plankton  laughs  evilly.]  You  can't  fool  me,  Plankton,  you  want  the  Krabby  Patty  formula!  [walks  into  the  Chum  Bucket] ;s1e7_63
Plankton; You  are  going  to  hand-deliver  it  to  me  personally! ;s1e7_64
SpongeBob; No,  no,  no!  [they're  inside  and  walk  through  a  door]  There's  no  one  here. ;s1e7_65
Plankton; Don't  remind  me.  Brace  yourself,  SpongeBob.  This  is  my  lab!  [the  room  he's  walked  into  has  a  screen  with  a  live-action  Labrador  Retriever.  The  dog  barks.  They  walk  into  the  next  room,  a  real  lab.]  And  this  is  my  laboratory!  And  did  I  ever  show  you  my  record  player?  [pulls  the  gramophone  out  again  and  it  plays  dramatic  music  and  laughs] ;s1e7_66
SpongeBob; I  must  fight!  [mumbles  nonsensically,  stretches  his  head  out,  and  bites  against  the  side  of  the  door.  His  body  keeps  trying  to  walk.] ;s1e7_67
Plankton; No,  no,  no,  no.  [pushes  the  levers  forward,  which  causes  SpongeBob  to  lose  grip  and  slam  against  the  wall  and  wobble  over  to  a  giant  funnel  thing]  There,  you  see  how  much  easier  it  is  when  you  help,  friend?  How  do  you  like  my  analyzer?  It  tells  the  ingredients  of  whatever  I  put  into  it.  [A  robot  arm  clenching  some  seaweed  comes  in  and  drops  it  in  the  giant  funnel  analyzer.  It  has  zapped  and  some  beeping  is  heard  from  the  giant  computer  screen.  The  screen,  then  reads  what  the  computer  says.] ;s1e7_68
Karen; Seaweed:  50%  Sea,  50%  Weed.  [a  picture  of  the  seaweed  appears] ;s1e7_69
Plankton; Impressed?  Now  let's  reveal  that  secret  formula.  [laughs  and  pulls  the  lever  forward,  letting  two  of  SpongeBob's  fingers  off  the  patty.  He's  holding  it  with  both  hands,  so  one  finger  from  each  hand.]  And  this  little  piggy  brought  home  a  Krabby  Patty.  [two  more  fingers  loose  grip.]  This  little  piggy  will  help  me  drop  it  in.  Any  last  words,  SpongeBob  SecretPants?  [SpongeBob  tries  to  resist,  but  stops] ;s1e7_70
SpongeBob; I  just  have  to  say  I'm  sorry  I  let  Mr.  Krabs  down.  [tears  start  to  come  out  of  his  eyes]  I  let  all  of  Bikini  Bottom  down.  But  worst  of  all,  I  let  you  down,  [one  of  his  teary  eyes  twinkles]  you  delicate  little  Krabby  Patty? ;s1e7_71
Plankton;Mmm...;s1e7_72
SpongeBob; [tearing  up  even  more]  With  your  tasty,  juicy,  scrumptious,  warm,  steamy  goodness.  [inside,  Plankton  starts  to  get  hungry] ;s1e7_73
Plankton; Steamy...  [a  live-action  patty  gets  assembled  on  screen  as  SpongeBob  states  the  ingredients] ;s1e7_74
SpongeBob; I'll  never  forget  your  100%  all-secret  patty,  secretly  assembled  with  undersea  cheese,  pickles,  lettuce,  tomato,  onion,  all  secretly  steamed  between  two  fluffy  seaweed-sea  buns.  [inside,  Plankton  starts  to  drool  excessively] ;s1e7_75
Plankton; Yes...  yes...  yes!  [jumps  out  of  one  of  SpongeBob's  holes  to  the  patty]  Come  to  papa!  [bounces  off  the  patty  and  lands  in  the  analyzer]  Oh,  boy...  [now  zapped  and  the  computer  reads  out  the  analysis] ;s1e7_76
Karen; Plankton:  1%  evil,  99%  hot  gas.  [Plankton  appears  on  the  screen] ;s1e7_77
Plankton; Well,  this  stinks. ;s1e7_78
SpongeBob; Well,  patty,  I  guess  we  can  go  home  now.  [walks  out] ;s1e7_79
Plankton; SpongeBob,  that's  my  Krabby  Patty!  [SpongeBob  walks  out  the  swivel  doors  and  they  go  back  and  forth]  Give  it  back,  you  porous  freak!  I  command  you!  My  patty!  [the  doors  come  to  a  close]  No!  I'll  settle  for  some  fries. ;s1e7_80
{system}; [Squidward  gets  dressed,  takes  a  shower,  gargles,  and  brushes  his  teeth.  He  re-enters  the  scene  in  a  tuxedo  with  his  hairpiece  and  sits  down  at  the  table.  He  hears  laughter  from  outside.  He  goes  to  the  window  and  notices  that  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  are  playing  with  bubbles.  SpongeBob  whispers  into  a  bubble  and  it  floats  over  to  Patrick  and  pops.] ;s1e8_1
SpongeBobBubble; Hi,  Patrick. ;s1e8_2
{system}; [Patrick  giggles  as  he  was  about  to  blow  a  bubble.  He  eats  the  bubble  and  whispers  into  another  bubble,  sending  it  over  to  SpongeBob  where  it  pops.] ;s1e8_3
PatrickBubble; Hi,  SpongeBob. ;s1e8_4
SpongeBob; [whispering  into  bubble]  Patrick,  you're  my  best  friend  in  the  whole  neighborhood. ;s1e8_5
{system}; [The  scene  cuts  to  Squidward's  back  window  as  he  finishes  stirring  the  liquid,  and  blows  a  bubble  with  it  through  the  fork.  Squidward's  bubble  is  approached  by  SpongeBob's  bubble,  grows  a  leg,  and  kicks  SpongeBob's  bubble,  thus  popping  it.  Squidward's  bubble  floats  over  to  Patrick  and  pops.] ;s1e8_6
SquidwardBubble; [mimicking  SpongeBob]  Patrick,  you  are  the  dumbest  idiot  it  has  ever  been  my  misfortune  to  know. ;s1e8_7
{system}; [Patrick  frowns  and  blows  a  bubble,  sending  it  over  to  SpongeBob] ;s1e8_8
PatrickBubble; Do  you  really  think  that,  SpongeBob? ;s1e8_9
SpongeBob; [whispering  into  the  bubble]  Of  course,  Patrick.  Anyone  with  eyes  can  see  that. ;s1e8_10
{system}; [The  bubble  floats  over  to  Patrick  and  pops,  followed  by  another  bubble  floating  back  over  to  SpongeBob] ;s1e8_11
PatrickBubble; Yeah?  Well,  I  think  you're  ugly.  [another  bubble  comes  over  and  pops]  Yellow  is  ugly!  [two  other  bubbles,  but  smaller,  float  over  and  pops,  both  containing  raspberry  noises  for  SpongeBob] ;s1e8_12
SpongeBob; [talks  into  the  bubble,  puzzled]  Patrick,  what  are  you  talking  about? ;s1e8_13
{system}; [The  bubble  floats  over  to  Patrick.  Another  of  Squidward's  bubbles  floats  over  to  SpongeBob  and  pops] ;s1e8_14
SquidwardBubble; [mimicking  Patrick]  SpongeBob,  I  no  longer  wish  to  know  you. ;s1e8_15
{system}; [SpongeBob  gasps] ;s1e8_16
SquidwardBubble; [mimicking  Patrick]  You  give  bottom  dwellers  a  bad  name. ;s1e8_17
{system}; [Squidward  creates  several  other  bubbles  and  they  float  over  to  SpongeBob] ;s1e8_18
SquidwardBubble; [mimicking  Patrick]  If  I  had  a  dollar  for  every  brain  you  don't  have,  I'd  have  one  dollar! ;s1e8_19
{system}; [Squidward  chuckles.  Another  bubble  floats  over  to  Patrick] ;s1e8_20
SquidwardBubble; [mimicking  SpongeBob]  Hey,  Patrick,  I  heard  there  was  a  job  opening  down  at  the  pet  shop...  as  some  newspaper! ;s1e8_21
Patrick; [stands  up  and  yells  at  SpongeBob]  Well,  that  makes  you  a  big  dummy,  you  dummy! ;s1e8_22
SpongeBob; [stands  up  and  yells  at  Patrick]  Yeah,  well,  that  means  that,  uhh...  so  are  you! ;s1e8_23
Patrick; Right,  you're  a  turkey! ;s1e8_24
SpongeBob; What's  that? ;s1e8_25
{system}; [Squidward  arrives  outside  with  a  lawn  chair  and  his  souffle] ;s1e8_26
Patrick; It's  what  you  are! ;s1e8_27
{system}; [Squidward  begins  to  laugh  hysterically  at  SpongeBob  and  Patrick's  arguing.] ;s1e8_28
SpongeBob; Well,  you're  a  bigger  one! ;s1e8_29
Patrick; Well,  you're  still  yellow!  And  you  know  what  else  is  yellow? ;s1e8_30
SpongeBob;What?;s1e8_31
Patrick; You  are! ;s1e8_32
SpongeBob; Yeah?  Well,  it  doesn't  matter  what  you  call  me,  'cause  I  never  wanna  see  you  again  anyway!  [goes  inside  through  the  back  door  and  turns  around]  Aww,  tartar  sauce!  [shuts  the  door,  some  houses  in  the  background  briefly  jump  of  their  foundations] ;s1e8_33
{system}; [Patrick  angrily  opens  his  rock,  which  closes  and  comes  up  sounding  like  an  accordion.] ;s1e8_34
Patrick; Wow,  Squidward,  you're  choking!  [runs  over  to  Squidward]  Uhh...  uhh,  I  know  what  to  do,  but  I  should  wash  my  hands  first.  Oh,  well.  [takes  a  deep  breath  and  performs  CPR  on  Squidward.  As  he  is  doing  this,  each  one  of  Squidward's  tentacles  suction  cups  pops  up.  Eventually,  the  fork  comes  out  and  Patrick  catches  it]  I  win! ;s1e8_35
Squidward; Wow!  Patrick,  you  saved  me! ;s1e8_36
Patrick; I  did? ;s1e8_37
Squidward; Yup!  You're  a  real  lifesaver,  friend!  [shakes  Patrick's  hands] ;s1e8_38
Patrick; Friend?  [holds  Squidward]  Friend... ;s1e8_39
Squidward; [uneasily]  Yeah,  Patrick,  we're  friends...  [steps  back]  just  friends.  [they  both  notice  SpongeBob  is  gazing  from  his  window  with  a  blank  stare] ;s1e8_40
Patrick; So  what  are  we  gonna  do  tonight,  best  friend?  [walks  with  Squidward  over  to  the  Easter  Island  head] ;s1e8_41
Patrick; Clarinet?  I  love  music! ;s1e8_42
{system}; [Inside  the  pineapple,  SpongeBob  watches  the  two  go  inside  Squidward's  house] ;s1e8_43
SpongeBob; Ahh,  who  needs  them?  They're  no  fun  anyway,  right,  Gary?  [Gary  is  inside  his  shell]  Gary?  [knocks  on  his  shell,  it  sounds  hollow] ;s1e8_44
{system}; [Cut  to  Squidward's  house] ;s1e8_45
Squidward; Squidward  will  be  performing  his  version  of  Solitude  in  E  minor. ;s1e8_46
Patrick; [sitting  on  a  bench  while  clapping]  Yeah!  E  minor!  All  right!  Yeah! ;s1e8_47
{system}; [Squidward  takes  a  deep  breath  and  plays  a  note,  and  Patrick  immediately  falls  asleep,  to  the  annoyance  of  Squidward.  Scene  now  cuts  to  SpongeBob.] ;s1e8_48
SpongeBob; Ah,  what  am  I  worried  about?  I  got  plenty  of  friends!  I  can  name  three  right  off  the  bat!  [holds  up  three  fingers]  Uhh... ;s1e8_49
{system}; [SpongeBob  draws  faces  on  each  finger  with  a  broken  smile] ;s1e8_50
SpongeBob; The  gang's  all  here...  [looks  at  the  faces  on  his  fingers,  and  his  eyes  well  with  tears]  Ohhh! ;s1e8_51
{system}; [Squidward  is  dragging  Patrick,  who  is  still  asleep,  outside.  Suddenly,  after  a  few  feet,  his  back  gives  out] ;s1e8_52
Squidward; Ow!  Oh!  My  back!  I  threw  out  my  back! ;s1e8_53
SpongeBob; [sees  Squidward  in  pain]  Oh,  boy,  now's  my  chance!  [jumps  out  of  the  window] ;s1e8_54
Squidward; SpongeBob?  No,  no,  stay  back! ;s1e8_55
SpongeBob; [running]  Don't  worry,  Squidward!  I'm  coming! ;s1e8_56
Squidward; No,  no,  no,  get  away  from  me! ;s1e8_57
SpongeBob; Hang  on!  I'll  save  you!  [rips  off  his  suit  revealing  a  speedo  underneath] ;s1e8_58
Squidward; [tries  to  get  to  his  door]  No,  no!  Get  away  from  me!  No,  no! ;s1e8_59
SpongeBob; [jumps  off  a  diving  board]  Hold  on! ;s1e8_60
Squidward; No,  no!  Get  away!  [screams  as  SpongeBob  dives  into  his  back  cracking  it  back  into  place]  Oh!  I'm  ruined!  I'm...  I'm...  I'm...  I-I  feel  great!  Thanks,  SpongeBob!  You're  a  real  friend! ;s1e8_61
{system}; [SpongeBob  smiles  wide  in  glee] ;s1e8_62
SpongeBob;Friend...;s1e8_63
Squidward; N-no,  no,  no,  I  didn't  mean  that,  no-no. ;s1e8_64
SpongeBob; Don't  worry,  Squiddy,  old  pal.  That's  what  friends  are  for.  [Squidward  and  SpongeBob  walk  to  Squidward's  house,  an  Easter  Island  head.] ;s1e8_65
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Squidward  are  inside  Squidward's  house] ;s1e8_66
SpongeBob; So  dumb  Patrick  fell  asleep  on  ya,  huh?  Some  friend.  A  real  friend  would  perform  for  you! ;s1e8_67
Squidward; You  play? ;s1e8_68
SpongeBob; Are  you  kidding?  I've  been  playing  bassinet  for  years!  [takes  one  from  the  wall]  Give  me  an  A,  buddy! ;s1e8_69
{system}; [Squidward  plays  a  note  and  SpongeBob  sings] ;s1e8_70
SpongeBob; Squidward  is  my  best  friend  in  the  world.  [grates  strings  with  bow]  Squidward  is  my  best  friend  in  the  sea... ;s1e8_71
{system}; [The  bow  flies  into  what  looks  like  Squidward's  head  and  he  screams.  Fortunately,  it  turns  out  it's  just  a  painting   the  real  Squidward  pulls  the  bow  out  and  growls  as  he  snaps  it  in  half  with  his  knee] ;s1e8_72
SpongeBob; [now  playing  with  his  fingers  like  a  guitar]  Squidward... ;s1e8_73
{system}; [Patrick,  now  fully  awake,  pops  in  through  the  window] ;s1e8_74
Patrick; Likes  Patrick  more  than  SpongeBob!  [SpongeBob  slams  the  window  in  Patrick's  face]  Oh! ;s1e8_75
SpongeBob; [strums  harder  before  slamming  the  bass  to  the  floor]  And  Patrick  is  a  dirty,  stinky,  rotten  friend  stealer!  [smashes  the  bass]  Umm,  I  can  fix  this. ;s1e8_76
{system}; [Squidward  is  steaming  red  in  fury.] ;s1e8_77
Squidward; Grrrrrryehhhhherrrryeh!  [kicks  SpongeBob  out] ;s1e8_78
SpongeBob; ...So,  uhh,  I'll  see  you  tomorrow,  Squidward!  Call  me! ;s1e8_79
{system}; [Cut  to  Squidward's  bathroom.  Squidward  begins  walking  into  the  bathroom.] ;s1e8_80
Squidward; Yech!  That  was  disgusting!  I  feel  like  I  need  to  scrub  myself.  [opens  up  the  curtain  and  screams  after  he  sees  Patrick  in  his  bathtub] ;s1e8_81
Patrick; Hey,  buddy.  I  warmed  it  up  for  ya.  [shows  him  a  brush  and  soap] ;s1e8_82
Squidward; Patrick!  Get  out!  And  put  some  clothes  on! ;s1e8_83
{system}; [SpongeBob  peeks  in  through  the  upstairs  window] ;s1e8_84
SpongeBob; What's  the  matter,  Squidward,  old  buddy?  [notices  Patrick  in  the  bath-tub]  Oh,  ho-ho!  So  this  is  what  I  find,  huh?!  My  best  friend  and  my  ex-best  friend  and...  [shown  bath  toys]  ...rubber  bath  toys! ;s1e8_85
Patrick; [simultaneously]  Oh,  yeah?!  Well,  he  was  my  friend  first! ;s1e8_86
SpongeBob; [simultaneously]  You're  just  a  backbiting,  backstabbing  silly  blob  of... ;s1e8_87
Squidward; [screams]  This  can't  be  happening  to  me!  [runs  away  while  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  stop  their  arguing  as  they  notice  Squidward's  gone] ;s1e8_88
SpongeBob;Buddy!;s1e8_89
Patrick; Squidward,  where  are  you?! ;s1e8_90
SpongeBob; Where'd  ya  go,  friend? ;s1e8_91
Patrick; Where  are  ya,  ol'  buddy? ;s1e8_92
Squidward; [hiding  in  a  trash  can]  Oh,  this  is  nuts!  I  need  a  plan  to  get  those  two  back  together  and  outta  my  hair! ;s1e8_93
{system}; [Bubble  transition.  Cut  to  next  scene,  at  SpongeBob's  house.  SpongeBob  reads  a  magazine.  The  doorbell  rings,  and  a  letter  is  pushed  under  the  door.  Then  he  smells  it] ;s1e8_94
SpongeBob; [sniffs  letter]  Squidward.  [opens  it]  A  dinner  party?  I'd  love  to!  [knocks  on  Squidward's  door  and  Squidward  opens  it]  Did  you  miss  me? ;s1e8_95
Squidward; Come  on  in!  You  look  stunning.  [shuts  the  door] ;s1e8_96
SpongeBob; I'd  much  rather  dine  with  you  than  that  lousy...  [gasps  when  he  sees  Patrick]  Say,  what  gives?!  I'm  not  sitting  near  that  maniac! ;s1e8_97
Patrick; Me  neither!  This  was  a  setup! ;s1e8_98
Squidward; I  thought  you  two  were  my  best  friends. ;s1e8_99
Squidward; [takes  out  a  bottle  of  soda]  Well,  how  about  some  soda,  guys?  [SpongeBob  shows  him  his  glass] ;s1e8_100
SpongeBob; Yes,  please!  [Squidward  gives  him  some  soda]  Thanks,  friend.  [flicks  Squidward's  nose  and  drinks] ;s1e8_101
Patrick; How  about  some  for  your  best  friend?  [SpongeBob  puts  his  glass  in  front  of  Patrick's,  so  he  gets  the  soda  instead  of  Patrick] ;s1e8_102
SpongeBob; Thanks,  best  friend!  [drinks] ;s1e8_103
Patrick; Can  I  have  some  now,  buddy? ;s1e8_104
SpongeBob; Wait,  I  need  some  more!  [pours  SpongeBob  another  glass] ;s1e8_105
Patrick; I  still  didn't  get  any!  [SpongeBob  gives  Patrick  his  soda] ;s1e8_106
SpongeBob; There  ya  go.  More  please!  [Squidward  fills  his  glass  as  SpongeBob  drinks  it  really  fast] ;s1e8_107
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_108
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_109
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Hey,  Squidward! ;s1e8_110
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_111
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward!  [shows  Squidward  his  glass  again,  but  it's  still  full]  Squidward! ;s1e8_112
Squidward; Patrick!  Your  glass  is  full! ;s1e8_113
Patrick; Oh,  yeah... ;s1e8_114
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_115
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Hey,  Squidward! ;s1e8_116
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_117
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_118
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_119
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Hey,  Squidward! ;s1e8_120
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_121
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Hey,  Squidward! ;s1e8_122
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_123
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_124
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_125
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Hey,  Squidward! ;s1e8_126
{system}; [both  show  Squidward  their  glasses]  Squidward! ;s1e8_127
Squidward; Sorry,  boys,  I'm  all  out  of  pop.  I'm  gonna  go  get  some  more.  [walks  away]  Why  don't  you  just  stay  here  and  chat?  [closes  door.] ;s1e8_128
{system}; [Then  we  see  SpongeBob  and  Patrick.  They  are  extremely  fat  and  not  wanting  to  look  at  each  other.  Then  SpongeBob  hiccups  and  a  bubble  floats  up  and  pops  that  sounds  like  a  burp.  Both  of  them  laugh  and  the  entire  house  is  full  of  bubbles  as  Squidward  walks  up  to  his  door  with  a  grocery  bag.  Then  an  explosion  and  crashing  sounds  are  heard] ;s1e8_129
Squidward; I  should  just  walk  away  right  now.  [opens  door  to  find  his  house  destroyed]  What  a  surprise...  I  invited  them  in,  and  I  left  them  alone.  Well,  Squidward,  what  have  we  learned  today?  [pieces  around  the  door  break] ;s1e8_130
SpongeBob; Guess  what,  Squidward?  [both  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  hold  each  others'  hips  in  a  friendly  way] ;s1e8_131
Patrick; Me  and  SpongeBob  are  friends  again! ;s1e8_132
Squidward; Great,  now  go  be  friends  somewhere  else. ;s1e8_133
SpongeBob; Don't  you  want  us  to  help  you  clean  this  up  a  little? ;s1e8_134
Squidward; No!  Out! ;s1e8_135
{system}; [Both  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  walk  out] ;s1e8_136
SpongeBob; Psst,  I  think  he's  jealous. ;s1e8_137
Patrick; How  pathetic. ;s1e8_138
{system}; [Squidward  shuts  door  hard  and  when  he  turns  around  as  a  bubble  comes  and  pops  on  the  door  which  causes  the  door  to  fall  on  his  back] ;s1e8_139
Squidward; Ohhhhh,  my  back. ;s1e8_140
{system}; [SpongeBob's  foghorn  alarm  goes  off] ;s1e9_1
SpongeBob; This  is  it,  Gary! ;s1e9_2
Gary;" Meow.  [SpongeBob's  bed  bounces  up  and  flings  SpongeBob  onto  the  calendar,  where  he  lands  on  March  3rd  with  the  words  ""boating  exam  today!""  on  it  then  drops  to  the  floor] ";s1e9_3
SpongeBob; The  big  boating  exam  is  today!  I've  never  felt  so  capable!  [A  door  opens  from  underneath  him.  He  comes  out  of  his  house  riding  a  unicycle]  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready.  Squidward!  Squidward! ;s1e9_4
Squidward;What?;s1e9_5
SpongeBob; I'm  ready,  Squidward!  [rides  his  unicycle  around  Squidward's  house] ;s1e9_6
Squidward; Ready  to  move? ;s1e9_7
SpongeBob; No,  I'm  ready  to  pass  my  boating  test.  [rides  his  unicycle  towards  Mrs.  Puff's  Boating  School]  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready...  [stops  his  unicycle  near  a  dumpster  and  jumps  off  of  it]  I'm  ready-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-ready.  Well,  pal,  I  won't  be  needing  you  anymore.  [throws  the  unicycle  into  the  dumpster]  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready!  Oh,  yeah!  I'm  ready! ;s1e9_8
 Incidental  27 ; Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!  Yes!  Hey,  I  just  got  my  license! ;s1e9_9
SpongeBob; [snaps  his  fingers]  Hey,  I'm  getting  mine  next! ;s1e9_10
 Incidental  27 ; Hey,  I  doubt  it!  [walks  off] ;s1e9_11
SpongeBob; Okay,  see  you  on  the  road.  I'm  ready!  Here  I  come,  Mrs.  Puff!  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready.  [jumps  around  the  boardwalk.  Camera  goes  inside  the  school,  as  a  female  pufferfish  looks  out  the  window  and  sees  SpongeBob  jumping  around.] ;s1e9_12
 Mrs.  Puff ; [sighs]  I'm  not  ready.  [opens  the  door] ;s1e9_13
SpongeBob; Hi,  Mrs.  Puff!  Today  is  the  day  I'm  going  to  pass  my  boating  exam! ;s1e9_14
 Mrs.  Puff ; [with  a  clipboard  and  a  pen  in  hand]  We'll  see  about  that,  SpongeBob.  First  we  must... ;s1e9_15
SpongeBob; First  I  must  pass  the  oral  exam.  I  am  confident  in  my  abilities  to  successfully  succeed. ;s1e9_16
 Mrs.  Puff ; I  know.  Okay,  #1:  What  is  the  front  of  the  boat? ;s1e9_17
SpongeBob; The  bow.  [Mrs.  Puff  writes  down  his  answer] ;s1e9_18
 Mrs.  Puff ; What  is  the  back? ;s1e9_19
SpongeBob; Stern.  [Mrs.  Puff  writes  down  his  answer] ;s1e9_20
 Mrs.  Puff ; #3:  Right  is... ;s1e9_21
SpongeBob; Starboard.  [answers  the  remaining  questions]  Port.  Skipper.  Deck.  Cabin.  Galley.  Keel.  1924.  [Mrs.  Puff  writes  down  his  answers] ;s1e9_22
 Mrs.  Puff ; You've  passed  the  oral  test.  [sarcastically]  What  a  surprise.  [gets  in  the  boat  and  secures  herself  tightly]  Now  it's  time  to  once  again  take  the  driving  portion  of  the  exam.  Okay,  SpongeBob,  get  in  the  boat. ;s1e9_23
SpongeBob; Oh,  in  this  boat  right  here?  [looks  at  his  watch]  Is  it  time  already? ;s1e9_24
 Mrs.  Puff ; Get  in  the  boat,  SpongeBob. ;s1e9_25
SpongeBob; Oh  yeah,  absolutely.  [gets  in  and  closes  his  eyes  with  a  smile] ;s1e9_26
 Mrs.  Puff ; All  you  have  to  do  is  get  on  the  track. ;s1e9_27
{system}; [SpongeBob's  eyes  spring  open  in  awe he  looks  ahead  to  the  track  that  gets  longer  and  longer  in  delusion] ;s1e9_28
 Mrs.  Puff ; Okay,  SpongeBob,  what's  the  first  thing  you  do? ;s1e9_29
SpongeBob;1924...?;s1e9_30
 Mrs.  Puff ; No,  no.  First  thing  is  to  start  the  boat.  [turns  the  engine  on  and  SpongeBob  goes  crazy]  SpongeBob?  SpongeBob?  Relax,  it's  only  the  boat. ;s1e9_31
SpongeBob; The  boat? ;s1e9_32
 Mrs.  Puff ; Okay,  now  what  do  you  do  next? ;s1e9_33
SpongeBob; Floor  it? ;s1e9_34
 Mrs.  Puff ; Yes...  no!  No,  don't  floor  it. ;s1e9_35
SpongeBob; Floor  it?! ;s1e9_36
 Mrs.  Puff ; No,  no,  don't,  don't  floor  it! ;s1e9_37
SpongeBob; Okay,  floor  it!  [SpongeBob  slams  on  the  accelerator  and  starts  driving  backwards  really  fast] ;s1e9_38
 Mrs.  Puff ; No!  No,  no,  no,  nooooo!  [the  boat  whizzes  by  some  spectators  before  crashing  into  a  lighthouse.  After  crashing,  Mrs.  Puff  inflates  to  three  times  her  size.  The  lighthouse  falls,  and  Mrs.  Puff  speaks  with  a  deep  voice]  Oh,  SpongeBob,  why? ;s1e9_39
Fred; My  leg...! ;s1e9_40
SpongeBob; [in  his  bed  at  night]  I  don't  know  why,  Gary.  I  don't  know.  I'm  tired  of  failing  that  boating  test.  I've  already  taken  it  37  times. ;s1e9_41
Gary;Meow.;s1e9_42
SpongeBob; Okay,  38.  [puts  his  pillow  on  his  head] ;s1e9_43
Gary; [puts  on  SpongeBob's  boots]  Meow. ;s1e9_44
Patrick; [over  walkie-talkie  in  SpongeBob's  bed]  SpongeBob,  this  is  Star  Ranger,  over. ;s1e9_45
SpongeBob; [through  walkie-talkie]  What  is  it,  Patrick? ;s1e9_46
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  I  got  a  surprise  for  you. ;s1e9_47
SpongeBob; [through  walkie-talkie]  Oh,  Patrick,  I'm  not  in  the  mood. ;s1e9_48
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Get  out  of  bed.  [SpongeBob  gets  out  of  bed] ;s1e9_49
SpongeBob; [through  walkie-talkie]  Okay,  now  what,  Patrick? ;s1e9_50
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Go  to  your  closet  for  a  surprise.  [SpongeBob  slides  down  a  room  and  stands  up  in  front  of  his  closet  door] ;s1e9_51
SpongeBob; [through  walkie-talkie]  Okay,  I'm  at  the  closet. ;s1e9_52
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Listen  carefully.  What's  pink  and  square  at  the  same  time? ;s1e9_53
SpongeBob; [through  walkie-talkie]  I  don't  know,  Patrick.  [opens  the  closet  door,  revealing  Patrick  wearing  SpongeBob's  clothes] ;s1e9_54
Patrick; Patrick  SquarePants! ;s1e9_55
SpongeBob; [deadpan]  Pat,  don't  do  that.  [sits  in  a  chair]  I've  got  too  much  to  worry  about. ;s1e9_56
Patrick; What's  the  problem? ;s1e9_57
SpongeBob; I  can't  pass  my  boating  exam.  I've  taken  it  37... ;s1e9_58
Gary;Meow.;s1e9_59
SpongeBob; ...uhh,  38  times.  I  know  all  the  answers...  [Patrick's  square  pants  rip  off]  ...until  I  get  behind  the  wheel.  I  just  need  something  to  help  me  think  straight. ;s1e9_60
Patrick; Thinking  straight  is  what  I  do.  You  drive  and  I'll  do  all  the  thinking  for  you.  [takes  SpongeBob's  walkie-talkie] ;s1e9_61
SpongeBob; How  are  we  going  to  do  that?  [Patrick  puts  a  walkie-talkie  into  SpongeBob's  head  with  the  antenna  coming  out  of  the  top] ;s1e9_62
Patrick; Come  in,  SpongeBob.  Hello?  Hello? ;s1e9_63
SpongeBob; Hey!  I  can  hear  you  in  my  head!  This  is  great!  While  I'm  taking  the  test,  you  can  give  me  all  the  answers.  [notices  the  antenna  sticking  out]  Wait  a  minute,  Patrick.  Won't  I  look  silly  with  this  antenna  coming  out  of  my  head?  [Patrick  puts  a  tall  hat  over  the  antenna.  Next,  we  see  a  big  telescope  peeking  out  SpongeBob's  upstairs  window] ;s1e9_64
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Pat  to  Sponge,  Pat  to  Sponge,  testing,  testing.  [looking  through  the  telescope  at  SpongeBob]  Testing,  testing,  testing,  testing,  testing,  testing!  [loudly]  Testing!  [screams]  Test,  test.  Do  you  read?! ;s1e9_65
SpongeBob; Sponge  to  Pat,  I  read  you  loud  and  clear,  over. ;s1e9_66
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Got  your  apple  ready?  [SpongeBob  shows  an  apple]  Lucky  undergarments?  Hold  on.  Hold  on.  [focuses  in  on  the  underwear  with  the  telescope  to  reveal  the  word  lucky  on  the  top  of  it]  Bingo!  Underwear,  apple,  and  me.  You're  ready  to  get  that  license.  Uh-oh,  here  comes  Mrs.  Puff!  Act  natural.  [SpongeBob  jumps  out  of  the  boat,  then  gets  on  the  ground  on  all  fours  and  starts  chewing  grass.] ;s1e9_67
SpongeBob; [Moos  like  a  cow] ;s1e9_68
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  No,  no,  get  in  the  boat!  [SpongeBob  jumps  in  the  boat.  An  ambulance  arrives  with  its  siren  on  and  drops  off  Mrs.  Puff]  Give  her  the  apple.  [SpongeBob  gives  her  the  apple] ;s1e9_69
SpongeBob; Here  you  go,  ma'am.  [Mrs.  Puff  throws  apple  in  her  mouth  and  swallows] ;s1e9_70
 Mrs.  Puff ; Let's  get  this  over  with.  [takes  a  deep  breath]  What's  the  first  thing  you  do?  [puts  hands  and  arms  over  head  for  protection] ;s1e9_71
SpongeBob; [starts  to  get  scared]  Uhh... ;s1e9_72
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Start  the  boat.  [SpongeBob  starts  the  boat.  The  engine  starting  up  causes  Mrs.  Puff  to  go  crazy] ;s1e9_73
SpongeBob; Mrs.  Puff.  Mrs.  Puff! ;s1e9_74
 Mrs.  Puff ; Whoa-ho!  Huh?  What? ;s1e9_75
SpongeBob; It's  okay,  it's  only  the  boat. ;s1e9_76
 Mrs.  Puff ; The  boat?  You  started  the  boat? ;s1e9_77
SpongeBob; I...  I  think  so. ;s1e9_78
 Mrs.  Puff ; Oh.  Well...  what's  the  second  thing  you  do? ;s1e9_79
SpongeBob;1924?;s1e9_80
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  No,  no,  put  it  in  drive. ;s1e9_81
SpongeBob; Put  it  in  drive? ;s1e9_82
 Mrs.  Puff ; Yes,  yes,  yes!  [SpongeBob  pushes  lever  down  to  drive]  Put  it  in  drive.  Then  what? ;s1e9_83
SpongeBob; [lifts  leg  up]  Floor  it? ;s1e9_84
 Mrs.  Puff ; No!  [screams]  No! ;s1e9_85
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Freeze,  mister!  [SpongeBob  stops]  Big  toe.  [SpongeBob's  big  toe  pops  out  of  his  shoe  and  gently  pushes  the  accelerator  down] ;s1e9_86
 Mrs.  Puff ; Oh,  gracious.  Oh,  gracious!  Oh-oh.  Ha-ha!  Ah,  we  haven't  crashed  yet. ;s1e9_87
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Okay,  you're  coming  to  your  first  turn.  [a  giant  wall  with  the  word  wall  on  it  is  shown  and  a  left  curve] ;s1e9_88
 Mrs.  Puff ; Oh  no,  the  first  turn.  Please,  tell  me  you  know  what  to  do  at  the  first  turn! ;s1e9_89
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Left.  [SpongeBob  turns  left] ;s1e9_90
 Mrs.  Puff ;Oh!;s1e9_91
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Right.  [SpongeBob  turns  right] ;s1e9_92
 Mrs.  Puff ; Oh!  My,  this  is  splendid,  SpongeBob.  You're  doing  fine. ;s1e9_93
Montage; [SpongeBob  stops  at  a  stop  sign  and  looks  both  ways  before  starting  to  drive  again.  Then  drives  around  with  his  left  arm  out  making  a  signal.  Patrick  still  talking  to  SpongeBob  through  the  walkie-talkie  as  SpongeBob  drives  over  a  big  hill  in  the  road.  As  Mrs.  Puff  writes  a  couple  things  on  her  clipboard,  Patrick  is  putting  on  another  pair  of  SquarePants.  SpongeBob  pulls  back  on  the  boat  and  the  boat  jumps  in  the  air  over  a  big  anchor.  Patrick  finds  SpongeBob's  diary  and  begins  to  read  and  laugh  at  it  as  SpongeBob  jumps  off  a  ramp  through  a  ring  of  fire.  Fred  is  walking  across  the  course  but  SpongeBob  stops  the  boat  and  helps  him  walk  across.  He  gets  back  in  the  boat  as  Patrick  is  eating  out  of  SpongeBob's  fridge.  SpongeBob  is  sitting  back  and  driving  with  his  feet  and  driving  upside  down.] ;s1e9_94
 Mrs.  Puff ; Splendid!  Wonderful!  [sign  that  reads  finish  line  is  just  ahead]  There's  the  finish  line.  It's  unbelievable.  You've  shown  the  most  spectacular  improvement  of  any  student  I've  ever  seen.  What's  your  secret?  A  little  radio  in  your  head?  [everyone  laughs]  Oh,  and  under  that  hat  is  some  kind  of,  uhh,  antenna?  [everyone  laughs  again]  And  some  guy  miles  away  from  here  is  giving  you  all  the  answers?  [everyone  laughs  a  third  time]  Oh,  yes,  but  that  would  be  cheating. ;s1e9_95
{system}; [SpongeBob  opens  his  eyes  wide  realizing  he  is  cheating only  Patrick  laughs] ;s1e9_96
Patrick; Cheating!  [laughing  hysterically] ;s1e9_97
SpongeBob; I'm  cheating?!  Mrs.  Puff! ;s1e9_98
 Mrs.  Puff ; Yes,  my  star  pupil? ;s1e9_99
SpongeBob; I  think  I'm  cheating. ;s1e9_100
 Mrs.  Puff ; What's  that,  dear?  [SpongeBob  takes  a  hold  of  Mrs.  Puff] ;s1e9_101
SpongeBob; I  think  I  am  cheating! ;s1e9_102
 Mrs.  Puff ; You've...  you've  let  go  of  the  wheel. ;s1e9_103
SpongeBob; I  do  have  an  antenna  under  my  hat!  [shows  the  antenna  under  his  hat]  There  is  a  guy  giving  me  all  the  answers!  It's  all  true!  [crying]  I'm  cheating!  I'm  cheating!  I'm  cheating! ;s1e9_104
Patrick; What?!  [runs  out  of  SpongeBob's  house  and  back  under  his  rock,  crying] ;s1e9_105
SpongeBob; I'm  sorry,  Mrs.  Puff!  I'm  sorry! ;s1e9_106
 Mrs.  Puff ; [panicking]  The  wheel,  SpongeBob!  The  wheel... ;s1e9_107
SpongeBob; Cheating...  I'm  a  cheater!  Cheater... ;s1e9_108
 Mrs.  Puff ; No,  no,  no!  It's  quite  alright!  You  can  cheat  that  way! ;s1e9_109
SpongeBob; No...  I'm  cheating...! ;s1e9_110
 Mrs.  Puff ; At  least,  SpongeBob... ;s1e9_111
SpongeBob; I'm  cheating! ;s1e9_112
 Mrs.  Puff ; Cheat  that  way!  That  way! ;s1e9_113
SpongeBob; I'm  a  cheater,  cheater,  pumpkin  eater! ;s1e9_114
 Mrs.  Puff ; It's  okay  to  cheat  today! ;s1e9_115
SpongeBob;No...!;s1e9_116
 Mrs.  Puff ; That  way!  That  way!  Cheat  that  way! ;s1e9_117
SpongeBob; Cheater...!  [crashes  offscreen  head-on  into  the  same  lighthouse.  Mrs.  Puff  inflates  with  a  look  of  despair.  The  lighthouse  falls  yet  again] ;s1e9_118
 Mrs.  Puff ; [deep  voice]  Oh,  SpongeBob,  why? ;s1e9_119
SpongeBob; Mrs.  Puff,  I  think  I  cheated. ;s1e9_120
Fred; My  leg!  [some  time  later,  EMTs  are  wheeling  a  still-inflated  Mrs.  Puff  away  on  a  gurney] ;s1e9_121
SpongeBob; Uhh,  I'm  sorry  for  letting  you  down  again,  Mrs.  Puff. ;s1e9_122
 Mrs.  Puff ; [normal  voice]  It's  okay,  SpongeBob,  you  didn't  mean  it.  Okay,  boys,  take  me  away.  [EMTs  shove  Mrs.  Puff  into  the  ambulance] ;s1e9_123
SpongeBob; Don't  worry,  Mrs.  Puff.  I'll  try  harder  next  semester.  [Mrs.  Puff  cries  as  she  is  taken  away  by  the  ambulance]  It'll  be  great!  [walks  away]  Only  now  I  don't  even  have  my  bike. ;s1e9_124
Gary; [with  SpongeBob's  unicycle]  Meow. ;s1e9_125
SpongeBob; Gary!  My  bike!  You  found  it!  This  sponge  is  still  mobile!  [rides  away  on  his  bike  with  Gary  on  his  head]  Alright,  let's  go  surprise  someone  at  the  hospital! ;s1e9_126
{system}; [The  episode  begins  at  the  Krusty  Krab  with  SpongeBob  cleaning  a  table.] ;s1e10_1
Squidward; Hurry  up  with  those  chairs,  SpongeBob.  It's  after  closing  and  I'd  like  to  go  home! ;s1e10_2
{system}; [phone  rings] ;s1e10_3
SpongeBob; I  got  it,  I  got  it!  Coming.  [leaps  for  the  phone,  but  Squidward  answers  it  first.  SpongeBob  falls  to  the  floor  and  exclaims] ;s1e10_4
Squidward; Hello?  Sorry,  sir,  we're  closed...  [Mr.  Krabs  snatches  phone] ;s1e10_5
 Mr.  Krabs ; Ahoy,  there,  Krusty  Krab.  How  could  I  help  you?  [customer  explains  order  over  phone]  Pizza?  Mmm�  [eyes  turn  into  dollar  signs]  Of  course  we  have  pizza. ;s1e10_6
Squidward; Uh,  Mr.  Krabs... ;s1e10_7
 Mr.  Krabs ; Our  delivery  squid  will  bring  it  right  over.  [hangs  up] ;s1e10_8
Squidward; But  Mr.  Krabs,  we  don't  serve  pizzas.  [Mr.  Krabs  gets  a  plate  of  Krabby  Patties  and  smashes  them  into  a  pizza.  Then  he  puts  it  in  a  box]  We  don't  deliver. ;s1e10_9
 Mr.  Krabs ; We  don't  deliver,  [gives  Squidward  the  pizza]  but  you  do. ;s1e10_10
Squidward; Can't  you  just  get  SpongeBob  to  do  it? ;s1e10_11
 Mr.  Krabs ; Great  idea!  Take  him  with  you.  [SpongeBob  sneaks  over  smiling  big] ;s1e10_12
Squidward; That's  not  what  I  had  in  mind! ;s1e10_13
SpongeBob;" Front  end...  check.  Antenna...  [touches  the  boat  antenna  making  it  vibrate]  check.  Bumper...  check.  Bumper  sticker...  [bumper  sticker  says  ""I  Brake  For  Sea  Urchins""]  ...check.  [uncaps  the  tire  pressure  and  puts  his  mouth  in  it,  causing  him  to  inflate  like  a  balloon,  and  talk  in  a  squeaky,  high  pitched  voice  while  he  is  now  the  size  of  a  giant  parade  balloon]  Tire  pressure!  [blows  out  the  rest  of  the  pressure  in  Squidward's  face,  returning  him  to  his  normal  size  and  voice]  ...check.  Vehicle  inspection  complete!  We're  really  making  history  here,  Squidward.  That  lucky  customer  is  going  to  get  the  first  Krabby  Patty  Pizza  ever! ";s1e10_14
Squidward; Good,  then  you  drive.  [tosses  his  hat  away] ;s1e10_15
SpongeBob; I  can't.  I'm  still  in  Boating  School. ;s1e10_16
Squidward; Come  on,  SpongeBob.  It's  just  around  the  corner. ;s1e10_17
SpongeBob; Well,  yeah,  but... ;s1e10_18
Squidward; Just  do  what  you  do  in  school. ;s1e10_19
SpongeBob; Well,  okay.  Wait,  don't  tell  me. ;s1e10_20
Squidward; Back  it  up. ;s1e10_21
SpongeBob;Huh?;s1e10_22
Squidward; Back...  it  up. ;s1e10_23
SpongeBob; Right,  back...  it  up.  [tries  to  move  the  stick  shift  down] ;s1e10_24
Squidward; Back  it  up! ;s1e10_25
SpongeBob; Okay,  okay! ;s1e10_26
Squidward; Shift  into  reverse,  SpongeBob! ;s1e10_27
SpongeBob;" Reverse?  Oh,  yeah,  reverse.  [SpongeBob  imagines  the  words  ""FORWARD""  and  ""REVERSE""  turning  into  Korean  characters ";s1e10_28
Squidward; Back  it  up! ;s1e10_29
SpongeBob; [shifts  gears]  Backing  up!  Backing  up!  [boat  backs  up  really  fast] ;s1e10_30
Squidward; [tries  to  get  the  wheel]  Gimme  the  wheel,  SpongeBob.  Give  me  the  wheel! ;s1e10_31
SpongeBob; Backing  up!  Backing  up!  Ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ack-i-i-i-i-i-ng  up!  [They  go  over  a  bumpy  area  with  rocks  and  then  they  spin  around  and  around  and  around,  screaming.  The  next  morning,  the  boat  goes  over  five  hills]  Backing  up.  Backing  up.  Backing  up.  [boat  stops  with  no  fuel  left]  Backing  up. ;s1e10_32
Squidward; Well...  you  backed  up.  And  you  know  what?  I  think  we're  out  of  gas.  And  you  know  what  else?  [echoing]  We're  in  the  middle  of  nowhere! ;s1e10_33
SpongeBob; And  you  know  what  else  else?  I  think  the  pizza's  getting  cold. ;s1e10_34
Squidward; [startled]  And  the  pizza's  cold?  Oh,  the  pizza's  cold.  Not  the  pizza!  Oh,  how  could  this  get  any  worse?!  [kicks  boat  and  the  boat's  gasoline  becomes  full  again  and  it  drives  away  into  the  distance  without  them] ;s1e10_35
SpongeBob; Well,  we  can  still  deliver  it  on  foot. ;s1e10_36
{system}; [Squidward  narrows  his  eyes.  Later,  both  walk  on  the  sand] ;s1e10_37
Squidward; Ow,  ow,  ow. ;s1e10_38
SpongeBob; [singing]  The  Krusty  Krab  pizza  is  the  pizza  for  you  and  me.  The  Krusty  Krab  pizza  is  the  pizza... ;s1e10_39
Squidward; And  my  feet  are  killing  me.  Whoa!  [trips  over  SpongeBob,  who  is  lying  on  the  ground]  SpongeBob?  What  are  you  doing? ;s1e10_40
SpongeBob; [rubbing  the  ground]  It's  an  old  pioneer  trick.  I  saw  it  in  a  movie  once. ;s1e10_41
Squidward; SpongeBob,  this  is  no  time  for... ;s1e10_42
SpongeBob; Shh,  shh,  shh.  It's  working. ;s1e10_43
Squidward; What  is  it? ;s1e10_44
SwordfishTrucker; Thrashin'  frashin'  break  dancers!  [honks  his  truck  horn] ;s1e10_45
Squidward; He's  stopping!  He's  stopping!  [Squidward  realizes  he's  not  stopping  and  grabs  SpongeBob  out  of  the  way  where  they  are  covered  in  sand  thanks  to  the  truck.  Squidward  narrows  his  eyes  at  the  smiling  SpongeBob] ;s1e10_46
SpongeBob; [SpongeBob  and  Squidward  are  now  in  a  place  with  heavy  winds]  The  Krusty  Krab  pizza  is  the  pizza  for  you  and  me.  The  Krusty  Krab  pizza...  [the  wind  blows  on  Squidward's  nose  making  it  touch  his  face  so  he  puts  it  down,  only  for  it  to  touch  his  face  again  so  he  puts  it  in  his  mouth]  ...is  the  pizza  free  delivery.  The  Krusty  Krab  pizza  is  the  pizza  very  ta-asty.  [SpongeBob  gets  carried  around  in  the  air  by  the  huge  winds]  Whoa! ;s1e10_47
Squidward; Will  you  let  go  of  that  stupid  pizza,  already?! ;s1e10_48
SpongeBob; [still  being  carried  around  in  the  air]  I  can't,  it's  for  the  customer! ;s1e10_49
Squidward; Who  cares  about  the  customer?! ;s1e10_50
SpongeBob; I  do! ;s1e10_51
Squidward; Well,  I  don't! ;s1e10_52
SpongeBob; [wind  stops  and  SpongeBob  gasps]  Squidward!  [starts  flying  again] ;s1e10_53
Squidward; Let  go  of  that  pizza! ;s1e10_54
SpongeBob; No!  [runs  over  Squidward] ;s1e10_55
Squidward; Ow!  [holding  SpongeBob's  legs]  SpongeBob,  let  go  of  that  pizza! ;s1e10_56
SpongeBob; No!  It's  for  the  customer! ;s1e10_57
Squidward; SpongeBob!  [they  catch  sight  of  a  tornado  nearby]  Let  go  of  the  pizza!  [gets  lifted  up  into  the  tornado] ;s1e10_58
SpongeBob;No!;s1e10_59
Squidward; SpongeBob!  [looks  down  and  screams]  Hang  onto  the  pizza!  [tornado  spits  them  both  out.  SpongeBob  uses  the  pizza  as  a  parachute  but  Squidward  falls  hard  onto  the  ground]  Hey!  Hey!  [crawls  up  to  the  screen]  Where's  the  road?  Where's  the  road?  [a  tumbleweed  rolls  by]  We're  doomed!  How  are  we  gonna  get  home,  which  way  do  we  go?  [SpongeBob  lands]  What  are  we  gonna  do  now?  There's  no  road  here! ;s1e10_60
SpongeBob; I  think  town's  this  way.  [points] ;s1e10_61
Squidward; Oh,  don't  tell  me,  Jethro.  The  pioneers? ;s1e10_62
SpongeBob; That's  right.  [points  to  a  mossy  rock]  Moss  always  points  to  civilization. ;s1e10_63
Squidward; That  way?  That  way  there?  [SpongeBob  nods]  So,  let  me  get  this  straight...  you  think  that  we  should  go  that  way? ;s1e10_64
SpongeBob; [nods  again]  Yep. ;s1e10_65
Squidward; Well,  then  I'm  going  this  way.  [heads  the  other  way] ;s1e10_66
SpongeBob; Huh?  Squid,  wait!  I  don't  think... ;s1e10_67
Squidward; Trust  me,  I  know  where  I'm  going.  [Pans  out  to  show  another  city  in  the  other  direction] ;s1e10_68
SpongeBob; [sings]  The  Krusty  Krab  pizza  is  the  pizza,  absolutivally.  [later]  pizza...  [starts  beatboxing]  pizza...  [later,  SpongeBob  is  walking  backwards.  SpongeBob's  pants  almost  split  into  two  and  move  up  and  down  simultaneously  while  he  continues  to  beatbox.  Later,  SpongeBob  sings  with  blues-rock  soul]  Krusty  Krab  pizza  is  the  pizza,  yeah,  for  you  and  [falsetto]  me!  [Later,  SpongeBob  and  Squidward  are  weary  looking  and  the  former  sings  exhaustingly]  Krab  Pizza...  for  you.  Krus...  the  Krusshy  and  the...  Krab...  pizza...  [Later,  they  are  both  lying  face  down  in  the  sand] ;s1e10_69
Squidward; Sponge,  we  gotta  eat  something. ;s1e10_70
SpongeBob; I  heard  in  times  of  hardship,  the  pioneers  would  eat  coral. ;s1e10_71
{system}; [Squidward  eats  some  coral] ;s1e10_72
SpongeBob; No,  maybe  it  wasn't  coral. ;s1e10_73
{system}; [Squidward  spits  out  the  coral] ;s1e10_74
SpongeBob; Maybe  it  was  sand,  no,  no,  mud. ;s1e10_75
Squidward; Give  me  the  pizza! ;s1e10_76
SpongeBob; Wait,  I  remember  now.  It  was  coral! ;s1e10_77
Squidward; Give  it  to  me! ;s1e10_78
SpongeBob; No,  we  promised  it's  for  the  customer. ;s1e10_79
Squidward; [fancy  music  plays]  You're  right.  It's  for  the  customer. ;s1e10_80
SpongeBob;Yeah!;s1e10_81
Squidward; Maybe  we  better  check  on  it,  make  sure  it's  okay. ;s1e10_82
SpongeBob;Well?;s1e10_83
Squidward; Just  a  peek.  [opens  box] ;s1e10_84
SpongeBob; [he  shuts  it  quickly]  Okay,  it's  fine. ;s1e10_85
Squidward; No,  I  think  I  saw  something.  [opens  box]  Oh,  no.  I  was  wrong.  It  looks  okay.  Sure  is  a  fine-looking  pizza. ;s1e10_86
SpongeBob; [entranced]  Yeah... ;s1e10_87
Squidward; What's  that?  Is  that  the  cheese? ;s1e10_88
SpongeBob;Yeah...;s1e10_89
Squidward; And  the  pepperoni? ;s1e10_90
SpongeBob;Yeah...;s1e10_91
Squidward; [SpongeBob  slurps]  Oh,  looks  good,  huh? ;s1e10_92
SpongeBob; [snaps  out  of  it]  Wait  a  second,  I  know  what  you're  trying  to  do,  Squidward!  [closes  box]  I'm  not  letting  you  eat  the  pizza! ;s1e10_93
Squidward; Give  me  the  pizza! ;s1e10_94
SpongeBob;No!;s1e10_95
Squidward; Don't  make  me  take  it  away  from  you,  SpongeBob! ;s1e10_96
SpongeBob; Get  away!  [runs  off] ;s1e10_97
Squidward; [chases  SpongeBob]  Get  back  here,  SpongeBob,  give  me  the  pizza! ;s1e10_98
SpongeBob;No!;s1e10_99
Squidward;SpongeBob!;s1e10_100
SpongeBob;No!;s1e10_101
Squidward;SpongeBob!;s1e10_102
SpongeBob;No!;s1e10_103
Squidward; Wait!  [he  becomes  too  tired  to  run] ;s1e10_104
SpongeBob; No!  No!  [runs  into  Squidward] ;s1e10_105
Squidward; I  want  that  pizza  and  you're  gonna  hand  it  over  one  way  or  another! ;s1e10_106
SpongeBob; Look,  we're  saved! ;s1e10_107
Squidward; Sure,  we're  saved.  Now  give  me  some  pizza! ;s1e10_108
SpongeBob; No,  really,  Squid,  we're  saved!  We're  saved!  We're  saved!  [he  jumps  in  and  out  of  his  pants] ;s1e10_109
Squidward; Will  you  cut  that  out?! ;s1e10_110
SpongeBob; [to  a  conga  beat,  doing  a  backflip  and  some  push-ups]  Saved,  saved,  saved,  saved!  [rips  himself  apart  then  the  two  parts  go  in  circles  and  then  they  connect  again]  Saved,  saved,  saved,  saved!  Saved,  saved,  saved,  saved,  saved,  saved!  [SpongeBob  starts  doing  a  conga  dance]  Saved,  saved,  saved,  saved,  saved,  saved!  Saved,  saved,  saved,  saved,  saved,  saved!  Yes,  we  are  saved! ;s1e10_111
Squidward; That's  just  a  stupid  boulder! ;s1e10_112
SpongeBob; It's  not  just  a  boulder.  [sniff]  It's  a  rock.  [cries  and  hugs  the  boulder]  A  rock!  A  rock!  It's  a  big  beautiful,  old  rock.  [climbs  up  it  and  rubs  it]  Oh,  the  pioneers  used  to  ride  these  babies  for  miles,  and  it's  in  great  shape. ;s1e10_113
Squidward; SpongeBob,  will  you  forget  the  stupid  pioneers?!  Have  you  ever  noticed  that  there  are  none  of  them  left?  That's  because  they  were  lousy  hitchhikers,  ate  coral  and  took  directions  from  algae!  And  now,  you're  telling  me  they  thought  they  could  drive...  [SpongeBob  runs  over  Squidward  with  the  boulder]  ...rocks?  Hold  on  there,  Jethro! ;s1e10_114
SpongeBob; [they  stop  outside  the  customer's  house]  I  can't  wait  to  see  the  look  on  our  customer�s  face!  [rings  doorbell] ;s1e10_115
Customer;Yeah?;s1e10_116
SpongeBob; Congratulations,  sir.  Your  Krabby  Patty  pizza  is  here! ;s1e10_117
Customer; Wow,  thanks!  I've  been  dying  for  one  of  these.  It...  [he  frowns,  brief  pause]  Where's  my  drink? ;s1e10_118
SpongeBob; [confused]  What  drink? ;s1e10_119
Customer; [in  an  angry  tone]  My  drink?  My  diet  Dr.  Kelp?  Don't  tell  me  you  forgot  my  drink! ;s1e10_120
SpongeBob; [checks  through  the  order,  and  sees  no  drink  listed.]  But,  you  didn't  order  any... ;s1e10_121
Customer; [yelling  furiously]  How  am  I  supposed  to  eat  this  pizza  without  my  drink?! ;s1e10_122
SpongeBob; But...  but...  [tears  start  rolling  down  his  face] ;s1e10_123
Customer; Didn't  you  ever  once  think  of  the  customer?!  [throws  the  pizza  box  at  SpongeBob's  face]  You  call  yourself  a  delivery  boy?  Well,  I  ain't  buyin'!  [slams  the  door.  SpongeBob  goes  over  to  Squidward,  smiling  and  trying  not  to  cry] ;s1e10_124
Squidward; Sponge?  Sponge?  It's  okay.  Sponge?  [SpongeBob  drops  the  pizza,  falls  over,  starts  sobbing,  and  absorbs  his  tears  over  and  over]  Sponge?  [SpongeBob  continues  crying.  Squidward  becomes  furious.  He  grabs  the  pizza,  stomps  towards  the  customer's  house  and  pounds  on  the  door] ;s1e10_125
Customer; [answers  the  door,  still  angry]  Another  one?  Look,  I  told  your  little  friend  I  ain't  payin'  for  that! ;s1e10_126
Squidward; [Customer's  point  of  view]  Well,  this  one's  on  the  house!  [brutally  slams  the  pizza  box  in  the  customer's  face] ;s1e10_127
SpongeBob; [still  crying]  Did  he  change  his  mind? ;s1e10_128
Squidward; [smugly]  He  sure  did.  Ate  the  whole  thing  in  one  bite. ;s1e10_129
SpongeBob; [stops  crying]  No  drink? ;s1e10_130
Squidward; Nah.  Now  take  me  home.  [jumps  up  on  the  rock] ;s1e10_131
SpongeBob; Are  you  kidding?  We  have  just  enough  time  to  make  it  back  to  work!  [backs  up  the  rock  where  they  are  instantly  at  the  Krusty  Krab] ;s1e10_132
Squidward; Huh?  [screen  cuts  to  black]  Oh,  my  aching  tentacles! ;s1e10_133
Nematodes;" Walking,  walking,  walking,  walking.  [continue  to  repeat  ""walking""] ";s1e11_1
NematodeOne;Hungry!;s1e11_2
Nematodes;" Hungry,  hungry,  hungry,  hungry.  [continue  to  repeat  ""hungry.""  All  eat  a  whole  large  piece  of  coral] ";s1e11_3
NematodeOne; Still  hungry! ;s1e11_4
Nematodes;" Still  hungry,  still  hungry,  still  hungry,  still  hungry.  [continue  to  repeat  ""still  hungry.""  All  eat  a  truck  that  drives  by,  leaving  the  driver  floating] ";s1e11_5
Fred; Aw,  dang  nematodes! ;s1e11_6
NematodeOne;Thirsty!;s1e11_7
Nematodes;" Thirsty,  thirsty,  thirsty,  thirsty.  [continue  to  repeat  ""thirsty.""  They  all  bounce  to  SpongeBob's  house  and  take  out  some  straws.  Then  start  drinking  up  the  pineapple  house.  SpongeBob  and  Gary  are  still  sleeping  as  various  items  in  the  bedroom  shrink  out  of  existence,  including  Gary's  food  bowl] ";s1e11_8
Gary; Meow.  [The  rest  of  the  room  begins  to  shrink  as  SpongeBob  wakes  up] ;s1e11_9
SpongeBob; Hooray,  Gary!  We're  finally  huge!  [The  room  shrinks  again,  and  the  bed  disappears,  leaving  SpongeBob  on  the  floor] ;s1e11_10
Gary;Meow.;s1e11_11
SpongeBob; Huh?  Wait  a  minute.  [cut  to  the  outside,  where  the  nematodes  are  still  drinking  the  pineapple]  Oh  no!  [SpongeBob  runs  into  the  living  room.  He  squeezes  through  the  door  and  gets  launched  into  the  wall.  Gary  gets  stuck  in  the  door  as  he  slithers  in] ;s1e11_12
Gary;Meow!;s1e11_13
SpongeBob; [He  crashes  into  the  wall,  flipping  the  side  table  over.  The  phone  lands  on  his  lap]  Ow.  Shell  phone!  I  know.  [while  quickly  dialing]  I'll  call  Squidward.  He'll  know  what  to  do. ;s1e11_14
Squidward; [on  the  other  line]  Hello? ;s1e11_15
SpongeBob;Squidward!;s1e11_16
Squidward; Is  it  time  already  for  you  to  ruin  my  day? ;s1e11_17
SpongeBob; Squidward!  Help  me!  [SpongeBob's  phone  starts  shrinking  as  he  tries  to  explain  what's  going  on]  My  house  is  shrinking,  I  woke  up  this  morning  and  it  was  getting  smaller  and  [cut  back  to  Squidward  in  his  bed.  SpongeBob's  voice  sounds  fast  and  high-pitched  as  a  result  of  his  phone  shrinking]  smaller  and  the  walls  are  closing  in  on  me,  Squidward,  Gary  is  terrified  too!  [SpongeBob's  phone  disappears,  and  the  phone  call  is  disconnected]  Oh  no! ;s1e11_18
Squidward; Yep,  it  is.  [SpongeBob  screams] ;s1e11_19
Patrick; [comes  out  from  his  rock]  Is  it  time  already  to  ruin  Squid's  day?  [peels  off  his  rock  and  falls  on  his  furniture,  then  jumps  out  with  a  tuxedo  and  top  hat  on]  Hey,  SpongeBob,  don't  start  without  me! ;s1e11_20
Nematodes; [continue  sucking  on  SpongeBob's  house,  then  they  all  burp  and  leave] ;s1e11_21
SpongeBob; Ohh...  nematodes.  [sees  a  seed  on  the  ground,  then  picks  it  up]  The  only  thing  left  of  my  house  is  this  little  pebble.  [Patrick  and  Squidward  walk  up] ;s1e11_22
Squidward; What's  going  on  here? ;s1e11_23
SpongeBob; I've  got  bad  news,  guys!  Look  at  what  happened  to  my  house!  It's  gone!  [sadly]  It's  all  gone.  What  am  I  going  to  do?  Where  am  I  going  to  live? ;s1e11_24
Squidward; [smiling]  Yeah... ;s1e11_25
Patrick; [his  eyes  bulge  excessively  in  surprise]  Hey,  SpongeBob,  your  house  is  gone! ;s1e11_26
Squidward; Well,  what  can  I  say?  [begins  to  shake  SpongeBob's  hand]  It's  been  great  knowing  you,  SpongeBob.  Good  luck,  somewhere  else.  [walks  back  to  his  house  as  he  continues  talking  sarcastically]  I'm  gonna  miss  you.  Boo-hoo.  Boo-hoo.  [party  favors  fly  out  Squidward's  windows  as  he  celebrates]  Boo-hoo!  [starts  to  laugh] ;s1e11_27
Patrick; Squid's  taking  it  real  hard.  What  are  you  gonna  do  now? ;s1e11_28
SpongeBob; I  guess  I'll  have  to  move  back  with  my  mom  and  dad.  [shown  a  picture  of  SpongeBob's  parents  smiling] ;s1e11_29
Patrick; No,  wait  a  minute,  no  you  don't.  [shown  picture  of  SpongeBob's  parents  frowning]  We  can  build  you  a  new  house! ;s1e11_30
SpongeBob; We  can't  build  a  house! ;s1e11_31
Patrick; Well,  sure,  it's  easy!  I  built  my  house  all  by  myself!  [the  antenna  on  Patrick's  rock  falls  off] ;s1e11_32
SpongeBob; Alright,  Patrick,  lets  get  to  work!  [zoom  in  on  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  as  construction  workers] ;s1e11_33
Patrick;" [Patrick  tries  to  hit  a  nail  into  a  board,  but  hits  his  hand  instead]  Ow!  Ow!  Ow!  [SpongeBob  takes  two  buckets  of  paint,  one  red  and  one  green.  He  pours  the  red  paint  on  his  backside  and  pours  the  green  paint  on  his  front  side.  He  puts  one  side  on  a  fence  so  that  the  paint  gets  on  it,  and  then  he  does  the  other  side  the  same  way.  He  does  this  twice.  As  he  tightens  a  loose  bolt,  the  screen  turns  every  time  SpongeBob  tightens  the  bolt  sending  Patrick  sliding,  falling  upside  down  towards  the  sky,  then  back  onto  the  ground  right  side  up.  SpongeBob  nails  pieces  of  wooden  boards  together  in  midair,  and  a  piece  falls  off  and  lands  on  Patrick's  hand,  leading  him  to  say  ""Ow!""  each  time.  Patrick  moves  his  board  under  the  next  board,  which  falls  down  on  his  hand.  This  happens  several  times.  Next,  shown  SpongeBob's  finished  house,  shown  also  with  sparkles] ";s1e11_34
Patrick; [Patrick  gives  a  big  thumbs  up  with  bandages  wrapped  around  his  thumb]  We're  done! ;s1e11_35
SpongeBob; Yeah!  So  what  do  you  think? ;s1e11_36
Patrick; [SpongeBob's  built  house  sparkles  a  bit]  I  wish  I  lived  there. ;s1e11_37
SpongeBob;Really?;s1e11_38
Patrick; No.  [SpongeBob  puts  the  small  pineapple  on  his  head] ;s1e11_39
SpongeBob; One  bedroom.  [nose  sticks  out  through  the  door  and  the  pineapple  breaks  into  pieces] ;s1e11_40
Patrick; Tartar  sauce. ;s1e11_41
SpongeBob; [pets  Gary]  Well,  looks  like  we've  got  to  move  back  with  Mom  and  Pop. ;s1e11_42
Patrick; Well,  you  can't  move  back  in  with  your  parents!  When  my  parents  kicked  me  out  of  the  house,  I  never  went  back.  Wait!  You  and  Gary  can  come  stay  with  me! ;s1e11_43
SpongeBob; That'd  be  great! ;s1e11_44
SpongeBob; Good  night,  rockmate. ;s1e11_45
Gary;Meow.;s1e11_46
SpongeBob; Good  night,  Gary.  [SpongeBob  goes  to  sleep  but  then  is  awaken  to  Patrick's  snoring]  Oh...what  the...?  [Gary  hides  in  his  shell  and  SpongeBob  puts  a  cork  in  each  side  of  his  head,  and  goes  back  to  sleep.  The  wind  blows  and  Patrick  shivers,  he  then  pulls  the  rock  closer  to  him,  SpongeBob  shivers  in  the  cold  and  pulls  it  back  over  himself.  Gary  sits  on  top  of  the  rock  as  they  keep  pulling  it  back  and  forth  until  Patrick  keeps  the  rock  closer  to  him.  SpongeBob  gets  cold  and  he  covers  himself  with  sand  on  and  goes  to  sleep.  Patrick  starts  drooling  heavily,  filling  his  mouth,  and  flows  like  a  stream  over  to  SpongeBob.  As  SpongeBob  snores,  he  absorbs  the  drool  coming  from  Patrick  and  becomes  a  fat  sponge.  He  waddles  over  to  Patrick  and  removes  the  corks,  spilling  Patrick's  drool  out  of  him  and  down-sizing  him  to  normal  size.  Then  he  takes  out  a  bigger  cork  and  puts  it  in  Patrick's  mouth  and  goes  back  to  sleep.  Patrick  struggles,  then  spits  out  the  cork] ;s1e11_47
Patrick; [lifts  rock  and  starts  smashing  SpongeBob  with  it  in  his  sleep  several  times  when  the  spiders  don't  wanna  get  them]  Oh!  Spiders!  Spiders!  Get  'em  off  me!  Get  'em  off  me!  Get  'em  off!  Get  'em  off,  off  me!  Off,  off,  off!  [he  then  goes  back  to  sleep] ;s1e11_48
SpongeBob; No,  Patrick!  No,  Patrick!  No,  wake  up!  No,  wake  up!  No,  it's  me!  I'm  SpongeBob!  [moves  out  of  the  rock  and  away  from  it  a  few  feet  and  goes  back  to  sleep  but  then  wakes  up] ;s1e11_49
Patrick; Spiders!  Spiders!  [picks  up  his  rock,  runs  over  to  SpongeBob,  and  smashes  him  repeatedly  with  the  rock,  the  spiders  can't  get  him  again]  Spiders!  Get  'em  off  me!  Get  'em  off  me! ;s1e11_50
SpongeBob; Ow,  ow,  ow,  oh,  oh,  ow,  ow,  ow,  ow!  [Patrick  goes  back  to  sleep] ;s1e11_51
SpongeBob; [shivers,  in  Squidward's  house,  he  stands  next  to  Squidward,  holding  Gary,  as  Squidward  sleeps,  he  taps  Squidward's  nose  as  he  whispers]  Squidward?  Squidward? ;s1e11_52
Squidward; [sleepily]  H-h-huh? ;s1e11_53
SpongeBob;Squidward?;s1e11_54
Squidward; [sleepily]  Whoa.  Huh?  Wha-what? ;s1e11_55
SpongeBob; Squidward,  could  we  stay  here  a  couple  of  days  or  a  month  or  two? ;s1e11_56
Squidward; [sleepily]  Uh,  yeah,  wha-wha-whatever. ;s1e11_57
SpongeBob; Thanks.  Thanks,  Squidward.  [gets  in  bed  with  Squidward]  Squidward,  could  you  scoot  over  a  little? ;s1e11_58
Squidward; [sleepily]  Uh,  oh,  yeah,  sure.  [scoots  over  to  the  side] ;s1e11_59
SpongeBob; While  you're  at  it,  could  you  get  me  a  glass  of  water? ;s1e11_60
Squidward; [sleepily]  Okay.  Hmmm,  yeah,  sure.  [Sleepily  talks  a  bit,  gets  out  of  bed  and  walks  off,  then  comes  back  with  a  glass  of  water] ;s1e11_61
SpongeBob; Yeah,  this  is  a  real  swell  place  you  got  here.  [Squidward  hands  SpongeBob  the  glass]  Thanks,  buddy. ;s1e11_62
Squidward; [sleepily]  Uh-huh.  Y-you're  welcome.  [SpongeBob  drinks  the  water] ;s1e11_63
SpongeBob; Yeah,  I  like  sleepovers. ;s1e11_64
Squidward; [sleepily]  Yeah.  Me,  too. ;s1e11_65
SpongeBob; Yep,  this  is  great.  Good  night,  Squidward. ;s1e11_66
Squidward; [yawns]  Good  night,  SpongeBob.  [Squidward's  eyes  pop  open.  Squidward  opens  the  door  and  SpongeBob  and  Gary  walk  out]  [unhappy]  Good  night,  SpongeBob.  [night  turns  to  day  then  rooster  crows  to  wake  everyone  up.  Squidward  opens  his  eyes  excitedly]  Tum-ta-dum!  Today's  the  big  day,  Squidward!  Don't  wanna  be  late!  [he  flies  into  his  closet,  gets  dressed,  and  goes  outside]  Gotta  hurry!  Hold  it!  Hold  everything!  [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  stand  outside,  with  bags]  I  would  not  want  to  miss  this.  The  day  SpongeBob  moves!  I  can't  believe  it's  really  happening. ;s1e11_67
SpongeBob; Don't  worry,  Squidward.  I'll  come  visit  you. ;s1e11_68
Squidward; Don't  try  to  cheer  me  up,  SpongeBob.  [changes  his  smile  to  a  frown  briefly]  Please. ;s1e11_69
SpongeBob; Here  come  my  parents.  [Patrick  beings  to  cry  and  the  car  horn  sounds  as  SpongeBob's  parents  drive  up] ;s1e11_70
 Mrs.  SquarePants ; SpongeBob!  Hi,  honey,  we're  here! ;s1e11_71
 Mr.  SquarePants ; Come  on,  SpongeBob,  hurry,  hurry,  son,  your  mother  has  dinner  waiting. ;s1e11_72
SpongeBob; Hi,  Mom. ;s1e11_73
Squidward; Hello,  Mrs.  SquarePants!  Let  me  help  you  with  these  bags.  [picks  up  the  bags  and  carries  them  to  the  car] ;s1e11_74
SpongeBob; Just  give  me  a  minute.  [walks  back  to  where  his  house  used  to  be]  I  cannot  hold  onto  you  any  longer,  little  pebble.  [buries  it  into  the  ground  in  the  middle  of  where  his  house  used  to  be]  You  hold  too  many  memories.  [as  he  starts  to  cry,  a  tear  falls  from  his  nose  and  into  the  ground  where  the  seed  absorbs  it,  it  then  starts  to  glow.  Then  SpongeBob  shakes  Squidward's  hand]  Well,  Squidward,  this  is  goodbye.  [walks  away] ;s1e11_75
Squidward; Goodbye,  SpongeBob,  goodbye.  [dances]  Goodbye,  SpongeBob.  Bye-bye-bye.  Goodbye,  SpongeBob.  Ha-ha.  Goodbye,  goodbye.  [Patrick  lies  on  the  ground,  bawling,  as  SpongeBob  gets  in  the  car] ;s1e11_76
 Mrs.  SquarePants ; Come  on,  SpongeBob. ;s1e11_77
SpongeBob; Goodbye,  Patrick.  Goodbye,  Bikini  Bottom.  [Patrick  holds  onto  the  back  of  the  boat,  lifting  the  front  into  the  air,  as  he  cries] ;s1e11_78
Squidward; [still  dancing]  SpongeBob  is  leaving.  He's  leaving,  he's  leaving!  [the  seed  shakes  violently]  La,  la,  la,  la,  la,  la,  la  ha  ha  ha  ha!  [the  seed  shakes  even  more  violently]  He  leaving,  ha  ha!  [seed  still  shakes,  then  it  sprouts  three  roots]  SpongeBob  is  leaving,  he's  leaving!  [Suddenly,  the  ground  starts  shaking.  Squidward  stops  dancing,  while  SpongeBob,  his  parents  and  Patrick  stare,  bemused.  A  giant  green  stem  grows  out  of  the  ground,  SpongeBob's  house  grows  from  the  plant  and  drops  where  his  old  house  used  to  be  and  on  Squidward.  The  stem  then  goes  back  into  the  ground] ;s1e11_79
SpongeBob; My  house  is  back!  [SpongeBob,  his  parents,  and  Patrick  all  happily  run  into  the  pineapple]  Aww!  Good  old  pineapple!  It  was  exactly  where  it  used  to  be!  [continues  praising  all  of  the  returned  belongings  he  possessed  in  his  original  house.  SpongeBob  returns  to  Squidward  lying  under  the  floor]  Aww,  Squidward,  isn't  this  great?  I'm  back  forever! ;s1e11_80
Squidward; [muffled]  Forever? ;s1e11_81
{system}; [The  episode  starts  with  young  adult  Mermaid  Man  flying  through  the  water.] ;s1e12_1
TVAnnouncer; MermaidMan:  Fleet  and  forceful.  With  the  ability  to  assemble  and  charge  the  creatures  of  the  deep.  [as  he  speaks,  a  hammerhead  shark  attempts  to  eat  two  groups  of  fish  but  to  no  luck] ;s1e12_2
MermaidMan; By  the  power  of  Neptune! ;s1e12_3
TVAnnouncer; [as  he  speaks,  young  adult  Barnacle  Boy  joins  Mermaid  Man]  Mermaid  Man,  with  his  young  associate  Barnacle  Boy,  fights  for  all  creatures  who  live  in  the  sea,  against  the  forces  of  evil. ;s1e12_4
{system}; [As  the  TV  Announcer  speaks,  Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy  strike  their  rings  they  each  hold  on  their  right  hands.  They  create  a  whirlpool  aimed  at  Clam  Head  Candy  Cad.  A  baby  is  crying  at  her  highchair.] ;s1e12_5
ClamHeadCandyCad; [holds  a  baby's  lollipop  and  spots  the  whirlpool]  Oh,  no!  The  Raging  Whirlpool!  [the  whirlpool  catches  him  and  the  lollipop  falls  on  the  baby's  tongue] ;s1e12_6
TVAnnouncer; Mermaid  Man!  Champion  of  the  deep. ;s1e12_7
{system};" [Mermaid  Man  throws  a  water  ball  at  the  screen,  revealing  the  production  logo  ""MermaidMan  &  BarnacleBoy""] ";s1e12_8
{system}; [both  watching  the  TV,  excitedly]  Yay!  Champion  of  the  deep!  Woo! ;s1e12_9
SpongeBob; [dressed  up  as  Mermaid  Man]  Come  on,  Barnacle  Boy.  There's  evil  afoot. ;s1e12_10
Patrick; [dressed  up  as  Barnacle  Boy]  Leaping  lampreys,  Mermaid  Man!  I'm  right  behind  you! ;s1e12_11
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  come  outside  and  sneak  behind  Squidward,  who's  relaxing  on  a  lounge  chair  wearing  sunglasses.] ;s1e12_12
SpongeBob; Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy  spotted  their  arch  enemy,  Reflecto,  up  to  no  good. ;s1e12_13
Squidward;SpongeBob.;s1e12_14
SpongeBob; You  know  what  this  means.  [pulls  out  a  box  of  donuts] ;s1e12_15
Patrick;Donuts.;s1e12_16
SpongeBob; By  the  power  of  Neptune. ;s1e12_17
{system}; [Patrick  bites  into  his  donut] ;s1e12_18
SpongeBob; Creatures  of  the  deep,  assemble!  [both  go  into  deep  thinking]  Think...  harder...  Barnacle  Boy.  [a  jellyfish  swims  by]  Here  they  come. ;s1e12_19
{system}; [Squidward  blows  the  jellyfish  away] ;s1e12_20
SpongeBob; Blast,  Reflecto  has  become  too  powerful. ;s1e12_21
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  set  up  a  tent  over  Squidward] ;s1e12_22
Squidward; What  the?  [groans  angrily] ;s1e12_23
SpongeBob; If  Reflecto  is  cut  off  from  sunlight,  he  becomes  weak. ;s1e12_24
Patrick; Jumping  jellyfish,  Mermaid  Man.  He's  destroying  the  shield! ;s1e12_25
{system}; [Cut  to  Squidward  destroying  the  tent  in  a  fury] ;s1e12_26
SpongeBob; [gasps]  Quick,  Barnacle  Boy,  back  to  the  sea  cave. ;s1e12_27
Patrick; Right,  Mermaid  Man. ;s1e12_28
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  run  back  to  the  Pineapple,  closing  the  door  behind  them.] ;s1e12_29
Squidward;SpongeBob!;s1e12_30
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  run  to  the  door  and  knocks  it  hard] ;s1e12_31
Squidward; SpongeBob,  open  up!  [Squidward  continues  knocking  the  door] ;s1e12_32
SpongeBob; Reflecto  has  found  our  secret  lab. ;s1e12_33
Patrick; What  would  the  real  Mermaid  Man  do? ;s1e12_34
Squidward; Why  don't  you  go  ask  him  yourself? ;s1e12_35
SpongeBob; Elaborate,  you  vile  fiend. ;s1e12_36
Squidward; He  and  Barnacle  Boy  live  in  the  retirement  home  on  the  other  side  of  town. ;s1e12_37
SpongeBob; Hmm,  they  must  be  working  undercover. ;s1e12_38
Squidward; Yeah...  now  please  leave  me  alone.  [walks  away] ;s1e12_39
{system}; [Patrick  bites  into  the  donut  again]  Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy,  reunite! ;s1e12_40
{system}; [Cuts  to  Shady  Shoals  Retirement  Home,  where  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  approach  the  manager] ;s1e12_41
SpongeBob; Excuse  me,  I  know  that  Mermaid  Man  is  working  undercover  on  an  important  case,  but  you  think  we  can  see  him? ;s1e12_42
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  gasp] ;s1e12_43
ShadyShoalsCaretaker; [whispers]  Try  not  to  surprise  them. ;s1e12_44
SpongeBob; Oh!  Patrick!  Can  you  believe  it? ;s1e12_45
Patrick; [holding  onto  SpongeBob]  Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy  in  the  flesh! ;s1e12_46
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  walk  in  front  of  the  TV  that  Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy  are  watching.] ;s1e12_47
BarnacleBoy; [pokes  elbow  at  Mermaid  Man]  Hey,  who  are  those  guys? ;s1e12_48
MermaidMan; Uhh,  are  they  here  to  fix  the  TV? ;s1e12_49
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  giggle.] ;s1e12_50
BarnacleBoy; What  do  you  want? ;s1e12_51
SpongeBob; Are  you  Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy? ;s1e12_52
BarnacleBoy; Well,  we  used  to  be.  But  now  we're  retired. ;s1e12_53
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  gasp.] ;s1e12_54
SpongeBob; But  you  can't  retire!  There's  evil  afoot! ;s1e12_55
MermaidMan; Wha?  Evil!  Evil!  [runs  to  a  coral  pot  and  starts  hanging  on  it]  Barnacle  Boy!  Come  quick,  I  got  the  evil! ;s1e12_56
SpongeBob; All  I  said  was  there's  evil  afoot. ;s1e12_57
MermaidMan; Evil!  Evil!  E... ;s1e12_58
BarnacleBoy; Would  you  please  stop  saying  that? ;s1e12_59
MermaidMan; [hanging  on  a  water  fountain.  Incidental  88,  who  is  nearby,  shakes  his  head  in  disapproval]  Evil!  Evil,  evil,  evil,  evil,  evil!  [water  squirts  at  him]  Death  raaaaay! ;s1e12_60
{system}; [The  caretaker  comes,  grabs  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  and  throws  them  out  the  door.] ;s1e12_61
SpongeBob; Wow,  Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy. ;s1e12_62
Patrick; It's  too  bad  they're  old. ;s1e12_63
SpongeBob; What  do  you  mean,  Patrick?  Old  people  are  the  greatest.  They're  full  of  wisdom  and  experience.  [real  life  captain  gives  a  thumbs  up  and  triumphant  music  plays]  The  world  needs  Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy.  Someone,  somewhere,  is  in  trouble,  and  I  won't  rest  until  Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy  are  out  of  retirement.  [fireworks  appear] ;s1e12_64
Patrick; Ooh!  Pretty  lights! ;s1e12_65
{system}; [At  the  Shady  Shoals  Rest  Home  cafeteria] ;s1e12_66
MermaidMan; To  the  meatloaf!  [receives  a  slice  of  meatloaf  into  his  bowl]  To  the  broccoli!  [receives  some  broccoli  into  his  bowl.  Mermaid  Man  looks  at  the  orange  cafeteria  worker.]  Make  sure  you  give  extra  broccoli  to  my  young  ward.  The  boy  needs  his  vitamins. ;s1e12_67
OrangeCafeteriaWorker; [gives  some  broccoli  to  Barnacle  Boy's  bowl]  Here  you  go,  son.  Haha. ;s1e12_68
MermaidMan; To  the  table,  away! ;s1e12_69
BarnacleBoy; Careful!  D-Don't  run! ;s1e12_70
{system}; [Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy  take  their  seats.  Just  then,  SpongeBob  arrives.] ;s1e12_71
SpongeBob; Hey,  Mermaid  Man.  [approaches  Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy's  table] ;s1e12_72
MermaidMan; Uh,  here  comes  the  TV  repairman. ;s1e12_73
BarnacleBoy; What  do  you  want  from  us? ;s1e12_74
SpongeBob; Hold  on.  Just  let  me  look  at  ya. ;s1e12_75
MermaidMan; Stay  alert,  Barnacle  Boy.  He...  he's  up  to  something. ;s1e12_76
BarnacleBoy;" Will  you  cut...  will  you  stop  calling  me  ""boy""? ";s1e12_77
SpongeBob; Do  you  remember  the  time  the  food  supply  in  Atlantis  was  running  low?  So  you  invented  a  ray  gun  that  makes  things  grow  six  times  their  size  to  shoot  at  the  kelp  gardens.  But  then,  [changes  the  shape  of  his  head  to  look  more  rounded]  the  evil  Man  Ray  swoops  down  and  swipes  the  gun  away  and  shoots  all  the  algae!  [mimes  firing  the  gun]  And  he  gloms  onto  the  undersea  dome!  [jumps  and  lands  mouth-first  onto  a  table,  where  Incidental  88  is  eating]  And  he  starts  sucking  on  the  glass.  [sucks  on  the  table.  Incidental  88  moves  his  oatmeal  away  from  SpongeBob  in  disgust] ;s1e12_78
BarnacleBoy; What's  your  point,  kid? ;s1e12_79
SpongeBob; You  guys  are  the  greatest  heroes  of  all  time,  and  I  think  you  should  come  out  of  retirement. ;s1e12_80
MermaidMan; Listen  up,  you  villains.  I  wanna  eat  my  meatloaf.  If  you  don't  get  out  of  here,  then  by  the  power  invested  in  me,  I  now  pronounce  you  man  and  wife. ;s1e12_81
ShadyShoalsCaretaker; [enters  the  cafeteria]  What  is  going  on  in  here?! ;s1e12_82
MermaidMan; [points  to  SpongeBob,  who  stops  smiling]  You  may  kiss  the  bride! ;s1e12_83
{system}; [SpongeBob  gets  kicked  out  and  rolls  home,  where  Patrick  was  waiting  for  him] ;s1e12_84
Patrick; Did  you  re-unite  our  heroes? ;s1e12_85
SpongeBob; No,  but  I'm  married. ;s1e12_86
{system}; [Back  at  the  retirement  home,  Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy  are  in  rocking  chairs.] ;s1e12_87
MermaidMan; [moving  vigorously  on  a  rocking  chair]  Up,  up,  and  away.  Up,  up,  and  away. ;s1e12_88
SpongeBob; [dressed  up  as  a  woman  and  speaking  in  a  Southern  accent]  Oh,  mah.  This  purse  is  so  big  and  heavy. ;s1e12_89
Patrick; [dressed  up  as  a  robber]  Hold  it  right  there,  ma'am.  I'll  be  taking  that.  [grabs  SpongeBob's  purse] ;s1e12_90
SpongeBob; [screams]  Hay-lp!  Hay-lp!  Hay-lp! ;s1e12_91
Patrick; It's  working. ;s1e12_92
SpongeBob; [Barnacle  Boy  comes  over  to  him]  Wha,  are  you  here  to  rescue  little  ol'  me? ;s1e12_93
BarnacleBoy; [yells  at  SpongeBob,  ruining  his  makeup]  Pipe  down!  You  could  wake  Mermaid  Man  and  he's  ornery  when  his  nap  is  disturbed. ;s1e12_94
SpongeBob; [approaches  Mermaid  Man,  who  is  sleeping  with  his  eyes  open]  Ever  alert,  Mermaid  Man  has  trained  himself  to  sleep  with  his  eyes  open. ;s1e12_95
BarnacleBoy; Confound  it,  get  away  from  him! ;s1e12_96
MermaidMan; [wakes  up]  Stop  shoutin'!  I'm  nappin'! ;s1e12_97
BarnacleBoy; [close  up  to  his  face]  It's  not  me,  you  old  coot! ;s1e12_98
 Incidental  80 ;Yes?;s1e12_99
 Incidental  84 ; That's  me. ;s1e12_100
 Incidental  81 ; I'm  over  here. ;s1e12_101
{system}; [Cuts  back  to  Mermaid  Man,  as  he  and  Barnacle  Boy  start  arguing  with  each  other] ;s1e12_102
SpongeBob; [tugs  on  Mermaid  Man  pants]  Excuse  me,  Mermaid  Man. ;s1e12_103
MermaidMan; What  do  you  want? ;s1e12_104
BarnacleBoy; This  better  be  good. ;s1e12_105
SpongeBob; This'll  cheer  you  up.  We're  almost  done  painting  your  invisible  boatmobile.  [The  invisible  boatmobile  is  shown  almost  completely  covered  in  black  paint  and  we  also  see  Patrick  smiling  while  holding  a  paintbrush  with  black  paint  on  it.] ;s1e12_106
BarnacleBoy; [enraged]  Gah!  It's  supposed  to  be  invisible!  That's  it!  [to  Mermaid  Man]  We  gotta  end  our  life  of  leisure.  It's  time  to  come  out  of  retirement.  There's  evil  afoot. ;s1e12_107
MermaidMan; Evil!  Where  is  it? ;s1e12_108
BarnacleBoy; There  it  is!  [points  at  SpongeBob  and  Patrick]  You  know  what  this  means?  [opens  up  a  box  with  their  rings] ;s1e12_109
MermaidMan; [looking  delighted]  Donuts! ;s1e12_110
BarnacleBoy; Oh,  brother. ;s1e12_111
{system}; [Barnacle  Boy  puts  one  of  the  rings  on  Mermaid  Man  and  then  they  try  to  put  both  of  the  rings  together,  but  they  miss.  Superhero  sequence  fails.  Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy  wave  their  arms  around  up  and  down  to  synchronize  their  positioning  of  their  arms.  So  then  they  attempt  to  unite  both  of  the  rings  together  a  second  time.  Both  rings  are  successfully  put  together  but  the  superhero  sequence  fails  again.] ;s1e12_112
BarnacleBoy; Say  the  oath. ;s1e12_113
MermaidMan; [in  his  young  voice]  Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy,  unite!  [unite  sequence  succeeds  while  their  rings  are  united  together]  Throw  a  waterball  at  'em! ;s1e12_114
Patrick;Hehehehehe.;s1e12_115
BarnacleBoy; Mumbling  morays.  It's  not  working,  Mermaid  Man. ;s1e12_116
MermaidMan; He-he's-he's  absorbing  it  like  some  kind  of  evil  sponge! ;s1e12_117
Patrick; It's  the  Raging  Whirlpool. ;s1e12_118
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  cheer  as  the  whirlpool  consumes  them] ;s1e12_119
MermaidMan; Those  fiends.  They're  actually  enjoying  it. ;s1e12_120
{system}; [the  whirlpool  begins  to  stop,  they  are  still  excited]  Do  it  again!  Do  it  again!  Do  it  again! ;s1e12_121
BarnacleBoy; Now  what,  Mermaid  Man?  We  need  help! ;s1e12_122
{system}; [Ultrasound  waves  divert  to  various  rooms  in  the  retirement  home.  One  of  them  hit  an  elderly  fish.] ;s1e12_123
UnknownElderlyFish; Uh,  what?  [walks  outside] ;s1e12_124
{system}; [Various  old  fish  are  summoned  from  the  retirement  home,  and  they  come  outside  slowly] ;s1e12_125
BarnacleBoy; Hmm,  the  creatures  of  the  deep  seem  to  have  lost  some  of  their  luster. ;s1e12_126
MermaidMan; Sea  creatures,  attack! ;s1e12_127
SpongeBob; Pinch  me,  I  must  be  dreaming. ;s1e12_128
{system}; [Sea  creatures,  now  carrying  torches  and  pitchforks,  pick  up  SpongeBob  and  Patrick] ;s1e12_129
SpongeBob; Mission  accomplished,  Patrick! ;s1e12_130
Patrick; Yeah,  we  did  it! ;s1e12_131
{system}; [Sea  creatures  throw  them  out] ;s1e12_132
MermaidMan; [happily]  I  did  it.  I  feel  five  years  younger.  Oh,  it's  good  to  be  back! ;s1e12_133
BarnacleBoy; We  did  it,  you  ol'  coot.  [they  shake  hands] ;s1e12_134
MermaidMan; Who  are  you?  [Barnacle  Boy  becomes  annoyed] ;s1e12_135
{system}; [At  SpongeBob�s  house,  the  TV  plays  the  production  logo  for  �The  New  Adventures  of  MermaidMan  &  BarnacleBoy�] ;s1e12_136
TVAnnouncer; The  New  Adventures  of  Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy!  [Shows  Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy  sitting  at  a  table  on  opposite  sides,  a  checker  board  in  the  middle  with  checker  pieces]  We  join  our  heroes  locked  in  a  battle  of  wits.  [Mermaid  Man  and  Barnacle  Boy  play  checkers] ;s1e12_137
{system};" [Mermaid  Man  places  a  black  checker  on  the  board.  A  ""Pow!""  pow-bubble  appears.  Barnacle  Boy  replies  by  placing  a  red  checker  on  the  board,  shaking  nearby  checker  pieces.  ""Clack!""  appears.  Mermaid  Man  sweats,  then  places  a  black  checker  to  the  end  of  the  board.  A  ""King  Me!""  appears.  Suddenly  the  phone  rings.] ";s1e12_138
MermaidMan; It's  the  Aquaphone!  [holds  the  phone  upside  down]  What  is  it,  Chief?  Uhh,  hello?  Hello?  Hello?  [hangs  up  the  phone] ;s1e12_139
{system};" [""HANG  UP!""  appears.] ";s1e12_140
MermaidMan; That  phone  is  still  broken.  Remind  me  to  g-get  that  fixed.  [sits  down] ;s1e12_141
{system};" [""SIT!""  appears.] ";s1e12_142
BarnacleBoy; Remind  you  of  what? ;s1e12_143
MermaidMan; Remind  me  of  what? ;s1e12_144
TVAnnouncer; Will  our  heroes  ever  get  their  phone  fixed?  Tune  in  next  week  and  find  out. ;s1e12_145
SpongeBob; Wow.  That  was  even  better  than  the  old  show. ;s1e12_146
Patrick; It's  all  thanks  to  you. ;s1e12_147
{system};" [SpongeBob  gives  the  thumbs  up  and  winks   ""WINK!""  appears,  and  the  episode  ends.] ";s1e12_148
Squidward; Welcome  to  the  Krusty  Krab.  My  name  is  Squidward.  May  I  take  your  order? ;s1e13_1
 Incidental  31 ; Hmmm...  uhh...  oh,  I'll  have  a,  uh...  [Squidward  takes  out  a  pencil  and  a  paper]  ...no.  [Squidward  puts  the  pencil  and  the  paper  away]  Oh,  maybe...  [Squidward  takes  out  the  pencil  and  the  paper  again]  ...no.  [Squidward  puts  the  pencil  and  the  paper  away  again]  Hmmm...  I'll  have...  [Squidward  takes  out  the  pencil  and  the  paper  again]  ...no.  Or  maybe... ;s1e13_2
Squidward; Are  you  planning  on  ordering  today,  sir? ;s1e13_3
 Incidental  31 ; I'll  have  a...  Krabby  Patty. ;s1e13_4
Squidward; [writing  down  the  order]  How  original. ;s1e13_5
 Incidental  31 ; And  with  extra  onions. ;s1e13_6
Squidward; Daring  today,  aren't  we?  [takes  the  order  and  shows  it  to  SpongeBob]  One  Krabby  Patty,  extra  onions.  [SpongeBob  takes  the  piece  of  paper  and  puts  it  with  the  rest  of  the  orders] ;s1e13_7
SpongeBob; One  cryin'  Johnny  comin'  up!  [cracks  his  knuckles,  then  adds  each  ingredient  as  mentioned]  First  bun,  then  patty,  followed  by  ketchup,  mustard,  pickles,  extra  onions,  lettuce,  cheese,  tomatoes,  and  bun,  in  that  order.  One  cryin'  Johnny!  Up!  [he  rings  the  bell] ;s1e13_8
Squidward; Whatever.  [Incidental  5  comes  up  and  tells  him  what  he  wants  and  Squidward  relays  the  order  to  SpongeBob]  Twelve  Krabby  Patties  on  wheat  buns!  [SpongeBob  takes  a  plate  and  patties  begin  to  appear  on  the  plate] ;s1e13_9
SpongeBob; [at  rapid  speed]  Bun,  patty,  ketchup,  tomato,  bun,  bun,  patty,  ketchup,  tomato,  bun,  bun,  patty,  ketchup,  tomato,  bun,  bun,  patty,  ketchup,  tomato,  bun,  bun,  patty,  ketchup,  tomato,  bun,  bun,  patty,  ketchup,  tomato,  bun,  bun,  patty,  ketchup,  tomato,  bun,  bun,  patty,  ketchup,  tomato,  bun,  bun,  patty,  ketchup,  tomato,  bun.  [at  normal  speed]  One  dozen  cryin'  cows  on  the  farm!  Up!  [Squidward  takes  the  plate] ;s1e13_10
Squidward; Thanks,  Farmer  Brown.  [gives  the  plate  to  Incidental  5]  It's  been  a  thrill  serving  you. ;s1e13_11
 Incidental  5 ; Can  I  get  some  extra  salt? ;s1e13_12
Squidward; We're  all  out. ;s1e13_13
 Incidental  5 ; Could  you  check? ;s1e13_14
Squidward; No.  [Incidental  5  glares  at  him  as  he  leaves.  Bubble  Bass  walks  up  to  order]  Let  me  guess,  tiny,  a  small  salad? ;s1e13_15
BubbleBass; I'll  take  a  Double  Triple  Bossy  Deluxe  on  a  raft,  four  by  four,  animal-style,  extra  shingles  with  a  shimmy  and  a  squeeze,  light  axle  grease,  make  it  cry,  burn  it,  and  let  it  swim.  [Squidward  gives  up  writing  all  of  that  down] ;s1e13_16
Squidward; We  serve  food  here,  sir. ;s1e13_17
SpongeBob; [with  the  order  done]  I  got  it  already,  Squidward.  [gasps]  Bubble  Bass! ;s1e13_18
BubbleBass; [pushes  Squidward  away]  SquarePants!  [walks  to  SpongeBob]  I  hear  talk  you  make  a  mean  Krabby  Patty. ;s1e13_19
SpongeBob; [staring  at  Bubble  Bass]  Yep.  I  hear  talk  you're  kinda  picky. ;s1e13_20
BubbleBass;Yep.;s1e13_21
SpongeBob; Well  then...  here  ya  go!  [Bubble  Bass  takes  the  plate  and  sits  down  where  he  examines  the  Krabby  Patty  until  he  decides  to  take  a  bite]  Well,  Bubble  Bass,  whaddaya  think? ;s1e13_22
BubbleBass; This  is  pretty  good.  Only  one  thing.  You  forgot  the  pickles!  [shows  no  pickles  on  the  patty.  The  crowd  gasps] ;s1e13_23
SpongeBob;No!;s1e13_24
BubbleBass; The  best  there  is?  I  don't  think  so.  You  lose!  [laughs] ;s1e13_25
SpongeBob; [checks  the  patty  for  pickles]  But,  the  pickles  should  be  right  where  they  always  are.  I  know  I  put  them  on!  [the  customers  are  disappointed.  SpongeBob  tears  the  patty  apart,  searching  for  the  pickles]  Where  are  those  pickles?  Pickles?  Pickles?  Pickles?  [Bubble  Bass  walks  up  to  Mr.  Krabs,  and  throws  Squidward  out  of  the  way  again] ;s1e13_26
BubbleBass; I  believe  you  owe  me  two  bucks. ;s1e13_27
 Mr.  Krabs ; Two  bucks?! ;s1e13_28
BubbleBass; Your  guarantee.  [points  to  the  menu  where  in  tiny  print  it  says  'money  back  guarantee'] ;s1e13_29
 Mr.  Krabs ; Oh.  That.  Well,  can't  we  talk  about  this?  [takes  out  two  dollars  and  Bubble  Bass  grabs  it] ;s1e13_30
BubbleBass;No.;s1e13_31
 Mr.  Krabs ; [pulls  the  money  back]  How  about  a  discount  on  restroom  tokens?  [Bubble  Bass  takes  the  money] ;s1e13_32
BubbleBass; Afraid  not. ;s1e13_33
 Mr.  Krabs ; How's  about  a  [Bubble  Bass  starts  walking  away  but  Mr.  Krabs  holds  onto  his  dollar]  free  glass  of  water?  A  dozen  free  glasses  of  water!  I'll  even  put  ice  in  it!  [Bubble  Bass  walks  out  the  Krusty  Krab  with  the  money]  No!  Come  back!  Two  dollars!  [sobs]  Two  dollars,  no!  No!  [walks  over  to  SpongeBob] ;s1e13_34
SpongeBob; Mr.  Krabs,  I  know  I  put  pickles  on  that  Krabby  Patty. ;s1e13_35
 Mr.  Krabs ; [grabs  SpongeBob]  That  two  bucks  is  comin'  out  of  your  paycheck!  [SpongeBob  tries  to  hang  onto  the  floor] ;s1e13_36
SpongeBob; Wait!  Wait!  Wait!  [Mr.  Krabs  throws  him  into  the  kitchen] ;s1e13_37
 Mr.  Krabs ; Get  back  to  work,  we  got  orders  waitin'! ;s1e13_38
Squidward; I  need  a  Krabby  Patty. ;s1e13_39
SpongeBob; Okay,  I  am  not  gonna  blow  it  this  time.  Let's  see.  Bun  down.  Then  ketchup,  then  mustard,  then...  pickles?  No!  That's  not  right!  [starts  a  new  patty]  Bun  down.  Mustard,  then  ketchup,  lettuce,  then  the...  pickles?  No!  [tries  again]  Mustard  down,  bun  stuff  down,  d'oh,  where's  the  patty  go?  [tries  again  and  uses  the  same  bun]  Pickles,  ketchup,  wait!  D'oh,  think!  Think!  I'm  losin'  it!  [tries  again]  Bun  down,  shoe,  mustard,  pan,  bun,  no!  [Mr.  Krabs  comes  in]  Mr.  Krabs,  I  am  so  confused.  I  can't  remember  how  to  do  anything. ;s1e13_40
 Mr.  Krabs ; Why  don't  you  take  the  rest  of  the  day  off? ;s1e13_41
SpongeBob; Oh,  no,  Mr.  Krabs.  Who  will  make  the  Krabby  Patties? ;s1e13_42
 Mr.  Krabs ; Oh,  don't  worry  about  that.  We've  got  Squidward! ;s1e13_43
Squidward; Huh?  What?  [SpongeBob  walks  out  and  tries  to  leave] ;s1e13_44
{system}; [the  scene  bubbles  transition  to  that  night] ;s1e13_45
SpongeBob; Oh...  was  it  mattress,  mattress,  sheets,  pillow,  then...  SpongeBob?  Or...  [hits  his  head  with  his  fist]  D'oh...  think,  Sponge!  Oh  yeah!  It  was  mattress,  SpongeBob,  mattress,  then  sheets,  pillow.  [gets  in  between  the  two  mattresses]  Good  night,  Gary. ;s1e13_46
Gary;Meow.;s1e13_47
SpongeBob; Aw,  this  isn't  right.  [he  slips  out  and  stands  upside-down  on  his  bed]  Good  night,  Gary. ;s1e13_48
Gary;Meow.;s1e13_49
SpongeBob; Wait,  this  isn't  right  either.  [SpongeBob  lays  down  on  his  back]  Nope.  [SpongeBob  is  between  each  railing  of  the  ladder]  Nuh-uh.  [tries  sleeping  with  a  mattress  on  his  head]  Negative.  [tries  sleeping  on  the  ground  next  to  his  mattresses]  C'mon,  c'mon!  Get  it  right.  [tries  in  the  lifesaver]  Wrong.  Wrong!  Wrong!  Nope!  Naw!  Negatory!  Nyet!  [keeps  doing  the  wrong  things  as  the  clock  fast-forwards  to  morning  and  the  rooster  crows  where  the  alarm  goes  off.  SpongeBob  is  on  the  floor  under  his  bed]  Aww,  I  almost  had  it!  Alarm  clock.  D'oh,  how  do  I  turn  this  thing  off?  Think,  think,  think,  think! ;s1e13_50
Gary;Meow.;s1e13_51
SpongeBob; Gary!  [picks  up  Gary  and  shoves  him  in  the  foghorn  alarm  with  dolphin  noise  where  it  is  still  going  off  with  a  squeak.] ;s1e13_52
Squidward; [At  the  Krusty  Krab,  there  is  black  smoke  coming  from  kitchen.  Squidward  coughs  loudly,  and  clears  the  smoke  off  with  a  fire  extinguisher]  Patties  are  done.  [Mr.  Krabs  notices  black,  burnt  patties  and  gets  irritated] ;s1e13_53
 Mr.  Krabs ; Urrgh!  [Turns  backwards  from  the  counter  after  hearing  customers  starting  to  complain] ;s1e13_54
 Incidental  30 ; Hey,  he  burnt  my  Krabby  Patty.  [his  patty  is  burnt] ;s1e13_55
 Incidental  63 ; He  burnt  my  fries!  [the  burnt  fries  are  piled  up] ;s1e13_56
 Incidental  65 ; [briefly  drinks  his  burnt  shake]  He  burnt  my  shake! ;s1e13_57
 Mr.  Krabs ; No!  Come  back!  [sobs]  No!  No!  Arrgh...  I  gotta  get  SpongeBob  back! ;s1e13_58
{system}; [cuts  to  SpongeBob's  house  he  nailed  a  toaster  to  the  door] ;s1e13_59
 Mr.  Krabs ; [opens  door]  SpongeBob? ;s1e13_60
{system}; [music  playing  in  reverse the  house  is  a  total  disaster  as  everything  is  misplaced  and  things  are  everywhere  and  opposite.] ;s1e13_61
 Mr.  Krabs ;SpongeBob!;s1e13_62
SpongeBob; [he  walks  into  view  backwards  and  is  wearing  a  pair  of  underwear  over  his  head]  Mr.  Krabs,  hello.  Do  you  how  do? ;s1e13_63
 Mr.  Krabs ; Why  you  talkin'  funny,  lad?  [takes  the  underwear  off  SpongeBob's  head] ;s1e13_64
SpongeBob; I  anything  can't  do  right  since  because  pickles. ;s1e13_65
 Mr.  Krabs ; Nonsense,  you'll  be  back  makin'  Krabby  Patties  like  your  old  self  in  no  time! ;s1e13_66
SpongeBob; I  think  don't  ready  back  to  go  to  work,  Mr.  Krabs.  [walks  off] ;s1e13_67
 Mr.  Krabs ; But  you're  fine,  me  boy!  [SpongeBob  walks  right  through  the  wooden  kitchen  door]  Ooh...  uhh,  well...  maybe  not.  [walks  into  the  kitchen  where  SpongeBob  is  nailing  a  piece  of  bread  to  the  table]  All  we  need  to  do  is  get  your  confidence  back.  So  you  can  make  me  more  money!  I-I-I  mean,  uh,  patties.  [chuckles] ;s1e13_68
SpongeBob; I  how  do  that? ;s1e13_69
 Mr.  Krabs ; It's  like  riding  a  bike.  You  never  forget!  [notices  a  bike  in  a  boiling  pot  of  water  on  the  stove]  Uhh...  um...  I'm  gonna  help  ya!  [both  of  them  are  now  shown  sitting  on  the  ground  in  SpongeBob's  living  room]  If  you  learn  to  make  a  Krabby  Patty  again,  your  life  will  be  back  in  order.  [takes  out  a  blanket  with  all  the  ingredients  on  it] ;s1e13_70
SpongeBob; Mr.  Krabs,  I  don't  know  if  I... ;s1e13_71
 Mr.  Krabs ; Take  your  time.  [SpongeBob  thinks  of  the  Krabby  Patty  formula.  It  soon  turns  to  night  then  day  again.  SpongeBob  reaches  for  a  bun  and  Mr.  Krabs  gets  excited.  SpongeBob  puts  bun  back  down] ;s1e13_72
SpongeBob; No,  no,  no,  no,  no.  [Day  becomes  night  again.  Then  day  again  and  then  night  again.  Mr.  Krabs  is  sleeping  until  SpongeBob  wakes  him  up]  I  got  it!  I  got  it!  It's  all  very  clear  to  me  now,  Mr.  Krabs! ;s1e13_73
 Mr.  Krabs ; It  is? ;s1e13_74
SpongeBob; Yes!  I  finally  realize  that  [angry]  I  can't  do  it!  I  can't  do  it,  Mr.  Krabs!  I'm  a  failure! ;s1e13_75
 Mr.  Krabs ; Don't  talk  like  that! ;s1e13_76
SpongeBob; Don't  you  get  it,  you  crustaceous  cheapskate?  I  can't  make  a  Double  Krabby  Patty  with  the  works!  [Makes  patty  as  he  tells  Mr.  Krabs  the  ingredients]  I  can't  put  a  patty  on  a  bun,  with  lettuce,  cheese,  onions,  tomatoes,  ketchup,  mustard,  pickles,  and  top  bun  together  in  that  order!  [realizes  that  he  just  put  the  patty  together  in  the  right  order,  which  makes  Mr.  Krabs  smirk] ;s1e13_77
 Mr.  Krabs ; It's  time. ;s1e13_78
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  and  SpongeBob  walk  back  to  the  Krusty  Krab  and  Squidward  is  burnt  with  black  smoke.  SpongeBob  rescues  Squidward  from  the  burning  kitchen  and  sprays  the  burnt  Squidward  with  the  fire  extinguisher] ;s1e13_79
 Incidental  70 ; Hey,  SpongeBob's  back!  [customers  are  cheering] ;s1e13_80
{system}; SpongeBob?  Aw,  the  old  chef. ;s1e13_81
BubbleBass; [he  enters  the  restaurant,  shoving  the  large  crowd  of  people  out  of  his  way  in  the  process]  I  hear  SquarePants  is  back!  [SpongeBob  opens  the  kitchen  door] ;s1e13_82
SpongeBob; I'm  right  here,  Bubble  Bass. ;s1e13_83
BubbleBass; I  thought  I  ran  you  out  of  town.  [spits  a  loogie  into  a  bucket] ;s1e13_84
SpongeBob; This  is  where  I  belong.  [holds  up  some  bubbles  and  blows  one.  Bubble  Bass  gives  a  weird  sounding  roar]  Rawr. ;s1e13_85
{system}; [The  crowd  gasps.  SpongeBob  and  Bubble  Bass  glare  at  each  other,  while  Mr.  Krabs  is  sweating  with  anticipation.] ;s1e13_86
BubbleBass; Give  me  the  regular,  and  this  time,  don't  forget  the  pickles. ;s1e13_87
SpongeBob; [rushes  into  the  kitchen  and  comes  back  with  a  Krabby  Patty  in  the  blink  of  an  eye]  I  didn't. ;s1e13_88
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  is  violently  sweating  as  Bubble  Bass  examines  and  eats  the  patty.  It  also  cuts  to  the  crowd,  then  Squidward,  then  SpongeBob.] ;s1e13_89
BubbleBass; Hmm...  Still  no  pickles!  [SpongeBob  notices]  See?  [sticks  out  his  tongue  with  all  the  chewed  up  food  on  it.  Everyone  is  disgusted  at  the  sight  of  it]  You  failed  again,  SpongeBob  LoserPants!  [laughs] ;s1e13_90
SpongeBob; [looks  at  Bubble  Bass'  mouth]  Wait  a  minute!  [grabs  Bubble  Bass'  tongue  and  pulls  it  out]  Look!  [shows  four  pickles  under  Bubble  Bass'  tongue]  He's  been  hiding  the  pickles  under  his  tongue  the  whole  time! ;s1e13_91
 Mr.  Krabs ; And  there's  the  pickles  from  last  time,  too! ;s1e13_92
 Incidental  45 ; And  there's  my  car  keys!  [everyone  walks  up  to  Bubble  Bass,  all  glaring  at  him] ;s1e13_93
BubbleBass; And...  there's  my  ride!  [rushes  out  of  the  Krusty  Krab] ;s1e13_94
 Mr.  Krabs ; Three  cheers  for  the  return  of  our  master  fry  cook,  SpongeBob!  Hip  hip... ;s1e13_95
All;Hooray!;s1e13_96
Squidward;Hooray.;s1e13_97
 Mr.  Krabs ; Hip  hip... ;s1e13_98
All;Hooray!;s1e13_99
Squidward;Whoop-de-doo.;s1e13_100
 Mr.  Krabs ; Hip  hip... ;s1e13_101
All;Hooray!;s1e13_102
Squidward; Oh,  boy. ;s1e13_103
SpongeBob; And  three  cheers  for  the  fry  cook  who  took  my  place  when  I  was  gone:  Squidward!  [Squidward  smiles]  Hip  hip... ;s1e13_104
All;" Boo!  [Squidward  is  shocked  and  frowns.  The  frown  becomes  more  droopier  with  each  ""Boo""] ";s1e13_105
SpongeBob; Hip  hip... ;s1e13_106
All; Boo!  [cuts  to  an  outside  shot  of  the  Krusty  Krab] ;s1e13_107
SpongeBob; Hip  hip... ;s1e13_108
All;Boo!;s1e13_109
SpongeBob; Hip  hip... ;s1e13_110
Customer; Boo!  You  stink!  [the  episode  ends] ;s1e13_111
 French  Narrator ; Mrs.  Puff's  Boating  School.  Where  diligent  students  learn  the  rules  of  the  road. ;s1e14_1
 Mrs.  Puff ; Everyone,  put  down  your  books,  because  it's  time  to  pick  out  the  hall  monitor  of  the  day!  [SpongeBob  squeezes  his  pencil  so  hard  it  shoots  up  into  the  air]  Let's  see  here.  This  week's  hall  monitor  will  be  Bart,  Jimmy,  no,  no,  Tina,  Ralph,  mm...  [gasps  and  shakes  nervously]  ...SpongeBob...!  [SpongeBob  moves  his  desk  between  two  rows]  It's  Jimmy!  Jimmy's  the  hall  monitor. ;s1e14_2
 Incidental  27 ; Mrs.  Puff,  I've  done  it  already!  [SpongeBob  moves  his  desk  closer] ;s1e14_3
 Mrs.  Puff ; Ohh...  Phil? ;s1e14_4
Phil; No  way,  Mrs.  Puff.  [SpongeBob  moves  his  desk  closer] ;s1e14_5
 Mrs.  Puff ; Uhh,  Tina,  you're  the  hall  monitor. ;s1e14_6
 Incidental  8 ; Hey,  I've  done  it  3  times  already!  [SpongeBob  moves  up  closer] ;s1e14_7
 Mrs.  Puff ;B...uh...B-Beth!;s1e14_8
{system}; She  graduated! ;s1e14_9
 Mrs.  Puff ; Henry?!  [SpongeBob  moves  closer]  Vera?!  [SpongeBob  moves  closer]  Clayton?!  [SpongeBob  is  poking  Mrs.  Puff  with  his  desk  as  she  sighs]  Alright,  I  guess  I  have  no  choice.  [gulps]  The  hall  monitor  of  the  day  is  [she  sighs]  SpongeBob.  [SpongeBob  launches  into  the  air] ;s1e14_10
SpongeBob; Yahoo!  Hall  monitor  SpongeBob  reporting  for  duty,  ma'am!  I  am  ready  to  assume  my  position...  in  the  hall!  I  will  protect  all  that  are  weak...  in  the  hall!  All  rules  will  be  enforced...  in  the  hall! ;s1e14_11
 Mrs.  Puff ; Okay!  Just  take  the  hat  and  belt.  [tries  handing  him  the  uniform] ;s1e14_12
SpongeBob; I  can't  accept  that  yet,  ma'am.  First,  I  have  to  make  my  speech. ;s1e14_13
 Mrs.  Puff ; You  can't  make  this  easy,  can  you? ;s1e14_14
SpongeBob; Classmates!  Who  am  I  to  deserve  such  a  great  honor?  Why,  I  would  be  nothing  without  Mrs.  Puff. ;s1e14_15
 Mrs.  Puff ; Give  me  a  break. ;s1e14_16
SpongeBob;" And  to  my  public,  all  I  can  say  is  I'm  touched.  [sniffs]  And  furthermore,  I  will  carry  out  my  duties...  [clock  moves  forward  in  time  as  SpongeBob  continues  his  speech]  ...crime  and  punishment,  punishment  and  crime  in  the  hall!  [at  this  point,  almost  everyone  is  dreary-eyed]  Which  reminds  me  of  an  extremely  long  speech  written  by  the  greatest  hall  monitor  of  all  time.  [takes  out  a  long  roll  of  paper]  ""Friends,  students,  juvenile  delinquents,  lend  me  your  ears.""  [the  clock  has  disappeared,  and  it  is  now  much  later  in  the  day.  Puff  is  asleep  at  her  desk]  In  conclusion,  and  without  a  moment  to  spare,  I  will  put  on  this  uniform  [takes  out  the  hat  and  belt]  and  assume  my  duties  as...  [puts  on  the  uniform  deep  voice]  ...hall  monitor!  Wish  me  luck,  Mrs.  Puff!  [walks  towards  the  door  then  turns  around]  Oh,  and  I  will  be  re...  [bell  rings  as  all  students  excitedly  run  out  the  door,  over  SpongeBob] ";s1e14_17
 Mrs.  Puff ; SpongeBob,  are  you  okay? ;s1e14_18
SpongeBob; [muffled]  I  overdid  the  speech  again,  didn't  I? ;s1e14_19
 Mrs.  Puff ; I'm  afraid  so. ;s1e14_20
SpongeBob; Aww,  tartar  sauce.  I  guess  I  won't  be  needing  this.  [takes  off  the  uniform]  I  hardly  knew  ya.  [gives  the  uniform  to  Mrs.  Puff  and  walks  away  saddened] ;s1e14_21
 Mrs.  Puff ; Uhh...  SpongeBob? ;s1e14_22
SpongeBob; Yes,  Mrs.  Puff? ;s1e14_23
 Mrs.  Puff ; I  can  at  least  let  you  wear  it  until  tomorrow. ;s1e14_24
SpongeBob; A-hoo!  [dives  into  the  uniform]  Thanks,  Mrs.  Puff! ;s1e14_25
 Mrs.  Puff ; What  are  the  consequences  of  what  I've  just  done?  [cut  to  SpongeBob  walking  down  the  street,  singing  somewhat  incomprehensibly.  Then  notices  a  broken  traffic  light] ;s1e14_26
SpongeBob; Broken  traffic  light!  Who's  to  say  my  monitor  duties  should  end  just  because  the  bell  rang?  I  can  be  helpful  anywhere!  This  looks  like  a  job  for  the  [deep  voice]  hall  monitor!  [directs  traffic,  with  a  whistle,  to  their  destination  using  all  sorts  of  hand  gestures,  but  ends  up  causing  a  huge  wreck  in  the  end]  What  would  this  town  do  without  you,  SpongeBob? ;s1e14_27
Fred; My  leg!  My  leg! ;s1e14_28
SpongeBob; On  patrol.  I'm  on  patrol.  [notices  a  house  with  an  open  window]  Uh-oh,  an  open  window.  [peeks  through  the  window  and  there  is  a  couple  eating] ;s1e14_29
 Incidental  12 ; More  seaweed  medley,  dear? ;s1e14_30
SpongeBob; The  fools.  They've  left  themselves  susceptible  to  danger.  I  must  show  them  the  error  of  their  ways  through  example.  [jumps  through  the  window  and  onto  their  table  in  a  ski  mask,  screaming  as  he  does  so]  I'm  the  open  window  maniac!  [both  run  out  screaming]  I  hope  you  learned  a  valuable  lesson!  [shuts  the  window  and  begins  walking  again]  On  patrol.  I'm  on  patrol.  I'm  on  patrol...  [gasps  as  he  sees  a  puddle  of  pink  goo  on  the  ground]  Vandals!  Another  crime.  [takes  his  finger  and  tastes  the  pink  goo]  hmm...strawberry!  I  must  act!  [more  pink  goo  falls  on  his  head.  He  looks  up  and  sees  Patrick  sitting  on  top  of  a  wall  and  eating  some  strawberry  ice  cream]  Patrick...  [looks  around  for  the  voice  he  just  heard]  Patrick...  Patrick... ;s1e14_31
Patrick; My  ice  cream!  It's  alive!  [screams  and  throws  away  the  ice  cream] ;s1e14_32
SpongeBob; Patrick!  Down  here! ;s1e14_33
Patrick; Oh,  SpongeBob,  it's  you.  [ice  cream  cone  is  on  SpongeBob's  face] ;s1e14_34
SpongeBob; Patrick.  Come  down  here.  [Patrick  jumps  down  on  top  of  SpongeBob] ;s1e14_35
Patrick; SpongeBob?  SpongeBob? ;s1e14_36
SpongeBob; I'm  down  here. ;s1e14_37
Patrick; Hehe,  you  look  funny!  [hops  off  SpongeBob  and  pulls  him  off  the  ground]  Hi,  SpongeBob. ;s1e14_38
SpongeBob; That's  hall  monitor  to  you!  [fixes  his  shape] ;s1e14_39
Patrick; Sorry,  officer. ;s1e14_40
SpongeBob; Sorry's  not  good  enough,  Patrick.  You've  committed  a  crime,  and  I'm  taking  you  in. ;s1e14_41
Patrick; What  crime?  [shows  him  the  ice  cream  that  is  on  the  ground]  I'm  a  bad  person!  [cries] ;s1e14_42
Morty;" [High  Voice]  Extra!  Extra!  ""Maniac  strikes  Bikini  Bottom!""  City  paralyzed  with  fear!  [gives  one  to  SpongeBob]  [Gruff  Voice]  Take  it,  friends.  Arm  yourselves  with  knowledge.  [runs  off]  [High  voice  again]  Extra!  Extra!  Maniac  strikes  Bikini  Bottom! ";s1e14_43
SpongeBob;" [reads  paper]  ""Maniac.  Bikini  Bottom?  Car  wrecks?  Break-in?"".  Who  better  to  bring  this  maniac  to  justice  than  me,  [deep  voice]  the  hall  monitor!  But  I  can't  handle  this  case  alone.  Patrick,  are  you  ready  to  give  up  your  life  of  crime? ";s1e14_44
SpongeBob; Hmmm...  now  you  just  need  a  symbol  of  authority.  [Patrick  puts  the  ice  cream  cone  on  his  head]  Perfect!  It  is  our  duty  to  catch  this  maniac  and  bring  him  to  justice!  But  how  to  proceed?  Listen,  deputy,  you're  an  ex-criminal.  What  would  you  do? ;s1e14_45
Patrick; Hmmm...  I'd  get  an  ice  cream!  [both  walk  out  an  ice  cream  store  with  ice  cream] ;s1e14_46
SpongeBob; Okay,  now  what? ;s1e14_47
Patrick; Hmmm...  [both  come  out  the  ice  cream  store  again  with  ice  cream] ;s1e14_48
SpongeBob; This  isn't  working.  [throws  his  ice  cream  away]  We've  got  to  do  something  else.  Something  with  walkie-talkies!  [takes  out  two  walkie-talkies.  Patrick  drops  his  ice  cream  and  happily  grabs  a  walkie-talkie]  And  now,  duty  calls!  Alright,  deputy,  I'll  go  that  way,  you  go  some  different  way!  Run  �em  out!  [SpongeBob  runs  off  sounding  like  a  siren.  The  police  come  driving  up  and  stop  beside  Patrick] ;s1e14_49
 Incidental  118 ; Afternoon,  son. ;s1e14_50
Patrick; Hello,  brothers.  [salutes  to  the  officers,  then  raises  both  eyebrows  whilst  pointing  to  his  cone  hat] ;s1e14_51
 Incidental  118 ; Son,  we're  looking  for  the  maniac. ;s1e14_52
 Incidental  118 ; Have  you  seen  this  man?!  [He  whips  out  a  poster  that  says  WANTED  MANIAC  with  SpongeBob's  picture  on  it.] ;s1e14_53
Patrick; [screams]  It's  the  maniac!  Take  him  away,  take  him  away! ;s1e14_54
 Incidental  118 ; Calm  down,  son.  It's  just  a  drawing,  not  the  real  thing.  Now  we're  gonna  show  you  this  picture  again,  and  you  tell  us  if  you've  seen  this  guy.  Understand? ;s1e14_55
Patrick; Yeah,  uh-huh. ;s1e14_56
 Incidental  118 ; Okay.  [Orange  Incidental  118  shows  Patrick  the  poster  again] ;s1e14_57
Patrick; [screams]  Horrible! ;s1e14_58
{system}; [Orange  Incidental  118  removes  the  poster,  bemused.  He  holds  up  the  poster  again.  Patrick  screams  again.  Both  cops  then  look  at  each  other  and  smile  slyly.  Orange  Incidental  118  repeatedly  shows  and  takes  away  the  poster  as  Patrick  screams  every  single  time.  Eventually,  the  cops  decide  they've  had  enough  fun.] ;s1e14_59
 Incidental  118 ; Stay  indoors,  son. ;s1e14_60
 Incidental  118 ; And,  uhh,  take  that  cone  off  your  head.  [both  laugh  as  they  drive  off] ;s1e14_61
Patrick; [takes  out  walkie-talkie]  SpongeBob?  Come  in,  SpongeBob.  Answer! ;s1e14_62
SpongeBob; SpongeBob  here,  Patrick.  Report. ;s1e14_63
Patrick; [over  walkie-talkie]  I  don't  wanna  be  a  policeman  anymore.  I'm  scared! ;s1e14_64
SpongeBob; Get  a  hold  of  yourself,  deputy. ;s1e14_65
Patrick; [over  walkie-talkie,  sobbing]  I  wanna  go  home! ;s1e14_66
SpongeBob; [sighs]  Poor  rookie.  Alright,  I'm  on  my  way  back. ;s1e14_67
Patrick; Hurry,  SpongeBob,  I  think  it's  getting...  [the  bright  sky  suddenly,  becomes  dark]  ...dark. ;s1e14_68
SpongeBob; Just  put  on  your  siren  and  I'll  be  right  there. ;s1e14_69
Patrick; Wee-woo.  Wee-woo.  Wee-woo.  Wee-woo.  [Patrick  picks  up  the  poster  that  the  officers  showed  him  earlier.  Then  sees  a  darkish  figure  down  the  road.  It's  SpongeBob,  but  Patrick  doesn't  realize  it  Patrick  gasps  loudly]  Wee-woo!  Wee-woo!  Wee-woo!  SpongeBob!  I  see  him! ;s1e14_70
SpongeBob; [over  walkie-talkie]  Where  is  he,  Patrick? ;s1e14_71
Patrick; [over  walkie-talkie]  At  the  intersection  of  Conch  and  Coral.  [SpongeBob  turns  his  head  around  to  read  the  street  sign  that  says  Conch  Street  and  Coral  Avenue] ;s1e14_72
SpongeBob; That's  where  I  am!  He's  right  on  top  of  me,  but  I  can't  see  him!  What's  he  doing? ;s1e14_73
Patrick; Uhh,  he's  just  standing  there...  menacingly!  [screams  over  walkie-talkie]  Get  out  of  there,  SpongeBob!  [SpongeBob  screams]  That's  his  maniac  shriek!  He's  going  to  attack!  [SpongeBob  cries  while  running  around  in  circles]  He's  acting  all  crazy!  Run!  Hide  behind  that  building!  [SpongeBob  hides  behind  the  building]  No,  he's  behind  that  building!  Oh,  quick,  hide  behind  that  street  sign!  [SpongeBob  hides  behind  the  street  sign]  No  wait!  The  maniac  just  went  behind  that  sign!  Quick!  Get  under  the  street  light!  [SpongeBob  gets  under  the  street  lights]  No  wait,  agh,  he's  there,  too!  Run  for  your  life!  [SpongeBob  jumps  inside  a  mailbox.  As  he  tries  to  relax,  the  radio  is  cutting  out] ;s1e14_74
SpongeBob; [over  walkie-talkie]  Say  again,  deputy? ;s1e14_75
Patrick; The  maniac's  in  the  mailbox!  [SpongeBob  screams  and  bursts  his  arms  and  legs  through  the  mailbox.  He  alternates  between  screaming  and  crazily  jabbering  as  he  runs  through  three  buildings,  causing  them  to  topple  over  and  eventually  crashes  through  a  fence  plasted  with  wanted  posters] ;s1e14_76
SpongeBob; [takes  a  look  at  a  wanted  poster]  Huh,  this  guy's  not  half-bad-looking  for  a  maniac.  Wait  a  minute,  Patrick,  I'm  the  maniac!  [Patrick  screams  in  the  background  and  a  mass  of  police  cars  and  several  policeman  surround  SpongeBob] ;s1e14_77
 Incidental  118 ; We'll  take  that  as  a  confession.  [Mrs.  Puff  appears] ;s1e14_78
 Mrs.  Puff ; SpongeBob  SquarePants,  there  you  are!  I  turn  my  back  on  you  for  one  minute  and  you  destroy  half  the  city!  You  should  be  ashamed  of  yourself!  [SpongeBob  slumps  sadly  at  these  words] ;s1e14_79
 Incidental  118 ; You  know  this  guy? ;s1e14_80
 Mrs.  Puff ; Of  course  I  do.  I'm  the  one  who  gave  him  the  uniform  in  the  first  place.  He's  my  responsibility.  [the  cops  glare  at  her]  Uh-oh...  [at  the  boating  school  where  the  whole  class,  except  SpongeBob,  is  sleeping.  Mrs.  Puff  is  teaching  class  from  jail  through  the  TV]  And  in  conclusion,  students:  red  means  stop,  green  means  go.  And  SpongeBob... ;s1e14_81
SpongeBob; [frowns  nervously]  Yes,  Mrs.  Puff? ;s1e14_82
 Mrs.  Puff ; I'd    like    to    see    you    after    class.    6    months    from    now!    [jail    closure    sound] ;s1e15_1
 French  Narrator ; Ah,  Jellyfish  Fields.  Here  we  find  SpongeBob  once  again  stalking  the  wild  jellyfish.  SpongeBob?  Allo?  SpongeBob?  Hmmm...  he's  supposed  to  be  here  somewhere...  [narrator  looks  around  and  sees  a  square-shaped  coral]  A-ha!  [Jellyfish  floats  by.  SpongeBob  puts  his  glasses  on] ;s1e15_2
SpongeBob; Safety  first.  [SpongeBob  slides  to  a  jellyfish  and  captures  it]  A-ha!  I  finally  gotcha!  [SpongeBob  grabs  a  wooden  stool  and  sits  on  it.  Puts  on  a  farmer  hat  and  'milks'  the  jellyfish.  Jelly  comes  out  and  squirts  on  a  piece  of  bread.  The  jellyfish  moos  like  a  cow.  He  eats  and  starts  speaking  like  the  French  Narrator.]  Ah,  there  is  nothing  better  than  the  taste  of  natural  jelly  from  a  jellyfish.  [normal  voice]  See  you  later!  [walks  off  but  jellyfish  floats  towards  him  with  his  glasses]  Oh,  oh  my  glasses!  Thanks,  little  guy!  Bye!  [the  jellyfish  floats  with  SpongeBob]  I  can't  play  anymore,  jellyfish.  I  got  to  get  home.  [jellyfish  hangs  onto  SpongeBob's  nose]  No.  You  can't  go  home  with  me.  [jellyfish  walks  behind  him.  The  jellyfish's  steps  are  squeaking,  like  SpongeBob's]  Jellyfish,  you've  got  to  stay  here!  [the  jellyfish  floats  towards  SpongeBob]  Hey!  [puts  the  jellyfish  on  a  rock]  Stay!  [walks  backwards]  Stay...  [jellyfish  floats  around  SpongeBob.  SpongeBob  grabs  the  jellyfish  and  uses  a  slingshot  to  launch  him  somewhere  else  but  the  jellyfish  ends  up  on  his  back.  The  jellyfish  giggles.  SpongeBob  pulls  the  jellyfish  off]  [exasperated]  Jellyfish!  For  the  last  time,  you  cannot  come  home  with  me!  [SpongeBob  looks  at  the  jellyfish  sternly.  The  jellyfish  deflates  as  if  he  was  sad.  SpongeBob  decides  to  keep  him]  Ahh,  what  the  heck!  [SpongeBob,  with  the  jellyfish  on  a  rope,  like  a  dog,  walk  by  Squidward's  house]  Squidward!  Hey,  Squidward!  Squidward!  Squidwardiard!  [Squidward  peeks  out  his  window]  Squidward!  Look  at  my  new  pet! ;s1e15_3
Squidward; That's  no  pet,  that's  a  wild  animal. ;s1e15_4
SpongeBob;" No  he  isn't!  Watch  this!  Fetch!  [throws  a  stick  so  the  jellyfish  returns  it.  SpongeBob  is  holding  up  three  fingers]  How  many  fingers  am  I  holding  up?  [the  jellyfish  hums  deeply  three  times]  Play  dead!  [jellyfish  is  buried  underground  with  a  tomb  that  says  ""R.I.P.""  He  pops  up] ";s1e15_5
Squidward; I  wouldn't  let  that  thing  into  my  house  even  if  it  was  potty-trained!  [the  jellyfish,  still  on  the  rope,  is  on  a  toilet  reading  a  newspaper  as  he  hums  casually]  I  didn't  need  to  see  that. ;s1e15_6
SpongeBob; Well,  we're  going  to  my  house  to  have  a  little  fun. ;s1e15_7
Squidward; How  can  you  possibly  have  fun  with  a  jellyfish?  [SpongeBob  and  the  jellyfish  dance  to  Stadium  Rave  A.  Also,  various  colors  change  as  they  dance.  Disco  lights  rotate  around  the  room.  SpongeBob's  house  is  vibrating  from  the  music]  SpongeBob  is  the  only  guy  I  know  who  can  have  fun  with  a  jellyfish...  for  12  hours! ;s1e15_8
SpongeBob; [stops  dancing.  He  is  exhausted,  sees  the  jellyfish  dance  more]  Whew!  Wow,  you  sure  like  to  dance.  Well,  that's  enough  for  tonight.  [turns  the  music  off]  It's  time  to  go  to  bed.  [as  he  walks  off,  the  jellyfish  turns  the  music  back  on]  Huh?  [walks  over  to  turn  the  music  off]  You  got  it  all  wrong,  little  fella.  [the  jellyfish  turns  the  music  back  on.  SpongeBob  turns  it  back  off]  Bed.  Repeat  after  me.  [SpongeBob  ties  the  rope  around  the  jellyfish]  Bed!  [the  jellyfish  reaches  for  the  stereo  but  SpongeBob  pulls  it  off.  Upstairs,  SpongeBob  ties  the  rope  around  his  bedpost]  We'll  just  keep  you  right  here. ;s1e15_9
Gary;Meow.;s1e15_10
SpongeBob; Quit  worrying,  Gary.  He'll  be  just  fine.  Good  night,  everybody.  [as  he  is  sleeping  throughout  the  night,  other  jellyfish  float  inside  the  pineapple] ;s1e15_11
Gary; [wakes  up]  Meow.  [jellyfish  opens  the  window,  and  the  4  jellyfish  talking  in  jellyfish  speaking.  Gary  gets  angry]  Meow.  [gets  squirted  with  jelly  from  all  the  jellyfish,  they  laugh  at  Gary,  and  continue  squirting  jelly  on  him]  Meow.  [More  jellyfish  enter  SpongeBob's  House.  It's  now  daytime  and  the  rooster  crows  everyone  up] ;s1e15_12
SpongeBob; Good  morning,  Gary.  Good  morning,  jellyfish.  Jellyfish?  Jellyfish?  Here,  jellyfish.  Oh,  jelly!  [puts  on  his  green  robe  and  goes  to  check  downstairs] ;s1e15_13
Gary; [Follows  SpongeBob  to  the  doorway,  while  completely  filled  with  jelly.]  Meow. ;s1e15_14
SpongeBob; Oh,  jellyfi-!  [slips  on  some  jelly.  Opens  a  door  leading  into  his  living  room  and  sees  jellyfish  dancing  to  music.  The  jellyfish  are  having  a  dance  party.]  Where'd  you  all  come  from?  [jellyfish  form  a  figure  of  a  hand  and  the  hand  grabs  SpongeBob.  They  stick  over  a  light  bulb  like  a  disco  ball  and  spin  him.  Then  falls  to  the  ground]  Okay,  that's  it.  Party  is  over!  You  guys  have  overstayed  your  welcome.  [As  SpongeBob  is  walking  to  the  stereo,  jellyfish  form  a  flight  of  stairs  that  SpongeBob  walks  up  and  but  does  not  notice]  This  music  is  way  too  loud.  [He  screams  as  he  falls  down.  Jellyfish  carry  SpongeBob  in  a  triangle]  Very  funny.  [jellyfish  carry  SpongeBob  in  a  rectangle]  I'm  serious! ;s1e15_15
{system}; [Jellyfish  carry  SpongeBob  up  and  down  the  screen.  The  scene  then  goes  to  SpongeBob's  house  bouncing  up  and  down  because  of  the  loud  party.  Scene  cuts  to  Squidward's  house.  Squidward  is  still  lying  in  his  bed,  holding  a  pillow  against  his  face.  He  has  not  slept  all  night.] ;s1e15_16
Squidward; Grr!  18  hours!  [falls  off  his  bed,  picks  up  the  phone  and  dials  SpongeBob's  number]  I'm  gonna  give  that  SpongeBob  a  piece  of  my  mind! ;s1e15_17
{system}; [Cut  back  to  the  party.  The  phone  rings  and  a  jellyfish  picks  it  up.]  [garbled]  Hello? ;s1e15_18
Squidward;" SpongeBob,  listen  to  me,  you  square-headed  assault  on  my  ears!  I've  had  enough  of  this!  [Jelly  squirts  through  the  phone  and  onto  Squidward's  face]  Strawberry.  [Squidward  plays  his  clarinet  outside  his  window]  Two  can  play  at  this!  [plays  ""Row  Row  Row  Your  Boat""  with  his  clarinet  badly.  Jellyfish  form  a  smiley  face.] ";s1e15_19
SpongeBob; Come  on,  guys,  enough  is  enough!  [SpongeBob  hears  the  clarinet  music  in  the  distance.]  Huh?  [Cuts  back  to  the  Jellyfish's  smile,  but  this  time,  turns  into  an  angry  frown  when  Squidward  plays  his  clarinet]  Uh-oh!  [Jellyfish  sting  SpongeBob]  Hey,  take  it  easy!  Ow!  Okay,  I'll  talk  to  him!  [SpongeBob  peeks  his  head  out  his  window]  Squidward!  Would  it  be  possible  to  play  your  clarinet  a  little...  better?  I  don't  think  the  jellyfish  like  it. ;s1e15_20
Squidward; The  jellyfish  don't  like...?  [sarcastically]  Why,  sure,  pal,  I  can  play  better. ;s1e15_21
SpongeBob; Okay,  he  said  he'll  play  better. ;s1e15_22
{system};" [Squidward's  house  rotates  slowly  towards  SpongeBob's  house.  He  has  a  giant  amp  set  behind  him.  In  front  of  him  is  a  microphone.  Squidward  inhales  deeply  as  his  house  stretches,  then  he  plays  ""Row  Row  Row  Your  Boat""  with  his  clarinet  again,  but  extremely  loudly.] ";s1e15_23
SpongeBob; Uh-oh!  That's  not  better!  [Jellyfish  knocks  SpongeBob's  coral  plant  over]  Hey!  Take  it  easy  with  that!  [The  jellyfish  knock  over  his  television]  Those  are  my  things!  [The  jellyfish  knock  over  a  wall  decoration]  Don't  break  th-  Dow!  [The  jellyfish  float  out  of  the  party  and  into  Squidward's  house] ;s1e15_24
Squidward; Uh,  wait,  I  can  turn  it  down.  Ow!  Ow!  Ow!  [the  jellyfish  sting  Squidward  and  float  back  into  SpongeBob's  house,  returning  to  their  party.]A  welt-covered  Squidward  walks  up  to  the  door  and  gives  SpongeBob  his  clarinet]  Everybody's  a  critic.  You  won't  be  hearing  from  me  anymore.  [hands  SpongeBob  his  clarinet] ;s1e15_25
SpongeBob; Hey,  now,  that  wasn't  nice!  [jellyfish  take  the  clarinet  and  snap  it  in  half.  A  fire  forms  and  they  dance  around  it  in  a  circle.  Boat  horn  toots  as  SpongeBob  finally  reaches  his  breaking  point,  shouting]  Okay,  that  is  it!  Everybody  out! ;s1e15_26
{system}; [SpongeBob  grabs  the  stereo  and  runs  toward  the  door  but  the  jellyfish  try  to  take  it  back  so  they  can  party  more.  Both  sides  accidentally  let  go  and  the  stereo  falls  to  floor  and  shatters  into  pieces  with  a  crash  causing  the  music  to  stop.  SpongeBob  gulps  and  the  jellyfish  start  to  quiver,  due  to  the  loss  of  the  music,  thus  ending  their  party.  SpongeBob  stammers.  The  jellyfish  get  angry  and  sting  SpongeBob] ;s1e15_27
SpongeBob; Come  on,  Gary!  [SpongeBob  and  Gary  head  up  to  the  roof.  SpongeBob's  house  vibrates  forcefully,  and  the  jellyfish  start  to  swarm  around  the  house.]  Gary,  you  were  right.  Thanks  for  not  rubbing  it  in.  [SpongeBob  looks  scared  and  his  teeth  chatter.  Gary  clicks  his  eyes  together  making  a  beat  that  the  jellyfish  can  dance  to.]  Huh?  They  stopped?  [holds  Gary's  eyes  together  and  the  jellyfish  get  angry  again.  Then  he  lets  go  of  Gary's  eyes  and  they  dance  again.  Does  this  a  couple  more  times  and  notices  a  trend.]  Gary!  Don't...  stop...  shaking  it! ;s1e15_28
{system}; [SpongeBob  takes  Gary  to  Jellyfish  Fields,  the  jellyfish  following  him  behind  in  a  line.  Along  the  way,  SpongeBob  has  other  creatures  and  things  join  in  the  rhythm,  first  bubbles  popping,  a  chest  opening  and  releasing  bubbles  on  the  first  beat,  an  anchor  chain  making  tambourine  noises,  a  dolphin  chirping  every  fourth  beat,  a  trio  of  anemones  making  synthesizer  noises,  a  line  of  singing  clamshells,  jellyfish  playing  a  harp,  and  soon  a  lively  melody  is  playing.  Eventually,  he  gets  the  jellyfish  back  home  to  Jellyfish  Fields  and  he  runs  back  to  his  home.] ;s1e15_29
 French  Narrator ; Today,  SpongeBob  has  learned  one  of  the  sea's  harshest  lessons:  wild  animals  can  throw  very  wild  parties. ;s1e15_30
{system}; [SpongeBob  shakes  Gary's  eye,  congratulating  him.  Meanwhile,  Squidward  sinks  down  into  his  bubble  bath  as  he  groans  in  pain.] ;s1e15_31
 French  Narrator ; Ooh,  I  felt  that. ;s1e15_32
{system}; [The  episode  begins  with  SpongeBob  running  toward  Sandy's  treedome  doorstep.] ;s1e16_1
SpongeBob; Hey,  Sandy.  Hey,  Sandy.  Hey,  Sandy! ;s1e16_2
{system}; [SpongeBob  knocks  her  door.  While  waiting  for  a  response  from  the  door,  he  notices  a  spaceship  comes  up  from  underneath  the  ground  at  the  left  side  of  the  treedome.] ;s1e16_3
SpongeBob;Wow!;s1e16_4
{system}; [The  rocket  finally  rises  up  to  ground  level.  Sandy  peeks  her  head  out  of  a  spaceship  window.] ;s1e16_5
Sandy; Howdy,  SpongeBob,  how  do  you  like  it? ;s1e16_6
SpongeBob; What  is  it? ;s1e16_7
Sandy; It's  a  rocket  ship,  duh!  I'll  meet  you  downstairs  and  show  you  around.  [rides  an  elevator  on  the  bottom  floor  and  meets  SpongeBob  downstairs] ;s1e16_8
SpongeBob; Wow,  what  are  you  gonna  do  with  it? ;s1e16_9
Sandy; [pointing  to  a  poster  of  the  moon]  I'm  goin'  to  the  moon,  SpongeBob! ;s1e16_10
SpongeBob; The  moon!  Can  I  go? ;s1e16_11
Sandy; No  way,  SpongeBob.  Especially  after  your  little  mishap  with  my  whirlybird.  [looks  at  a  graveyard  of  dead  animals,  which  the  camera  follows]  Besides,  there's  not  enough  room  for  you. ;s1e16_12
SpongeBob; But  I  don't  take  up  that  much  space!  [squishes  himself  into  a  little  square]  See?  [downsizes  himself  to  fit  into  a  little  drawer]  I  can  fit  in  here.  [closes  the  drawer]  Mmm,  cozy. ;s1e16_13
Sandy; I  need  that  drawer. ;s1e16_14
SpongeBob; Well,  how  about...  [jumps  into  a  test  tube]  This?  [jumps  into  another  test  tube]  Or  this?  [jumps  into  another  test  tube]  Or  this?  [spins  in  a  flushing  motion] ;s1e16_15
Sandy; SpongeBob,  this  isn't  for  fun.  [points  to  her  clipboard  with  math  equations  on  it]  See  this?  This  is  science.  I  don't  have  time  for  games  and  I  don't  have  time  for  stowaways. ;s1e16_16
SpongeBob; [behind  a  set  of  bars]  Fine.  [in  a  deep  voice]  Put  me  in  the  brig,  [squeezes  himself  in  the  air  vent]  I  don't  mind! ;s1e16_17
Sandy; That's  the  air  vent,  SpongeBob.  [pushes  a  button  to  turn  the  air  vent  on  that  blows  SpongeBob  out  of  it]  I  need  that,  too. ;s1e16_18
SpongeBob; Oh,  please,  can  I  go?  Can  I?  Can  I?  Huh?  Please? ;s1e16_19
Sandy; All  right.  Y'all  can  ride  in  the  cargo  hold  if  you  just- ;s1e16_20
SpongeBob; [running  around  the  ship]  Yeah!  Goin'  to  the  moon!  Moon  ride,  moon  ride,  moon  ride! ;s1e16_21
Sandy; [grabs  SpongeBob]  But  this  time,  just  don't  touch  anything,  okay? ;s1e16_22
{system}; [Bubble  transitions  to  Sandy  pumping  a  gun  and  SpongeBob  comes  to  watch  her] ;s1e16_23
SpongeBob; Wow,  look  at  that  pop  gun.  Are  we  gonna  go  hunting  aliens  on  the  moon? ;s1e16_24
Sandy; Aww,  hush,  silly.  [shoots  her  gun  and  3  gray  nets  cover  a  couple  items]  This  is  for  harvesting  moon  rocks. ;s1e16_25
SpongeBob; Well,  when  you're  done  playing  with  rocks,  you  could  use  that  for  some  serious  alien  hunting. ;s1e16_26
Sandy; Aliens?  Are  you  nuts?  I've  been  to  the  moon,  there  are  no  aliens. ;s1e16_27
Sandy; SpongeBob,  you  don't  know  the  first  thing  about  outer  space.  Now  go  home  and  get  some  shut  eye.  Be  here  tomorrow  at  the  crack  of  dawn  and  leave  your  crazy  alien  notions  behind. ;s1e16_28
{system}; [Scene  cuts  to  SpongeBob's  house  at  night.  SpongeBob  is  trying  to  sleep.  He  checks  the  clock  every  few  seconds,  and  tries  to  go  back  to  sleep  again.] ;s1e16_29
SpongeBob; [becoming  fed  up  with  waiting,  shaking  his  clock]  Oh,  hurry  up!  [grabs  two  clothes  pins]  These  oughta  do  the  trick.  [puts  them  on  his  eyelids] ;s1e16_30
Patrick; [Sitting  in  the  window]  Hi,  SpongeBob!  [clothes  pins  shoot  off  his  eyes] ;s1e16_31
SpongeBob; What  is  it,  Patrick?  Can't  you  see  I'm  sleeping  here? ;s1e16_32
Patrick; Well,  I  heard  you're  going  on  that  moon  trip  tomorrow,  so  I  just  wanted  to  bring  you  something. ;s1e16_33
SpongeBob; A  present? ;s1e16_34
Patrick; No.  Uh,  SpongeBob,  is  Sandy's  rocket  alien  proof? ;s1e16_35
SpongeBob; There  are  no  aliens,  Patrick.  Just  ask  Sandy. ;s1e16_36
Patrick; Well,  I  guess  you  won't  be  needing  this  alien  repellent  for  your  trip!  [pulls  out  a  spray  can] ;s1e16_37
SpongeBob;" Alien  repellent?  Let  me  see  that.  [looks  at  the  can]  ""New  Alien-Out  Window  Protectant.  Does  not  stop  burglars.""  Well,  I  guess  you're  right,  Patrick.  We'd  better  go  spray  those  windows! ";s1e16_38
{system}; [Bubble  transitions  to  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  walking  up  to  the  rocket] ;s1e16_39
Patrick; Look  how  big  it  is,  SpongeBob! ;s1e16_40
SpongeBob; It's  pretty  impressive,  all  right. ;s1e16_41
Patrick; Come  on!  [both  head  for  the  rocket] ;s1e16_42
SpongeBob; We're  just  here  to  spray  the  windows,  Patrick! ;s1e16_43
SpongeBob;" We  don't!  We're  just  spraying  the-  [Patrick  pulls  a  blinking  lever  marked  ""open,""  door  opens  on  SpongeBob]  -windows. ";s1e16_44
Patrick; I  opened  it,  SpongeBob!  Come  on!  [both  walk  inside]  Holy  sea  cow,  SpongeBob.  This  must  be  the  control  room. ;s1e16_45
SpongeBob; Yeah,  just  don't  touch  anything.  [Patrick  suddenly  runs  off] ;s1e16_46
{system}; [Patrick  grabs  a  computer  and  starts  playing  with  the  controls] ;s1e16_47
Patrick; Look,  I'm  winning! ;s1e16_48
SpongeBob; Patrick,  cut  that  out!  Patrick,  come  on!  We  can't  hang  around  in  here.  This  is  Sandy's  big  rocket,  not  some  kind  of  fun...  [SpongeBob  turns  around  and  looks  at  himself  as  thin  in  the  mirror]  ...house? ;s1e16_49
Patrick; Winner!  Yeah!  High  score!  Whoo  hoo! ;s1e16_50
SpongeBob; Hey,  Patrick,  what  game  was  that,  anyway? ;s1e16_51
Patrick; I  don't  know!  [notices  a  lever  above  his  head]  But  let's  see  what  this  does! ;s1e16_52
SpongeBob; Patrick,  I  don't  think  we  should...  [Patrick  pulls  a  lever  and  the  two  launch  off  the  seat  out  of  the  rocket] ;s1e16_53
Patrick; I  like  rockets.  [both  fall  back  into  the  rocket]  More!  More!  [approaches  another  machine] ;s1e16_54
SpongeBob; No  more!  [Patrick  presses  a  button  and  both  vibrate  a  lot  then  stop]  Okay,  one  more.  [vibrating  again]  Okay,  that's  enough.  Let's  go. ;s1e16_55
Patrick; Hey,  I  think  this  one  starts  it!  [SpongeBob  stops  Patrick  from  pushing  a  button] ;s1e16_56
SpongeBob; Patrick,  what  are  you  doing?  I'm  the  space  traveler  here.  And  I  happen  to  know  that  that  particular  button  is  right  over  here.  [presses  the  start  button  and  the  ship  starts  up] ;s1e16_57
Patrick; You've  started  the  rocket! ;s1e16_58
Sandy; [wakes  up  to  the  alarm  horns  blaring  and  notices  the  smoke]  Aww,  SpongeBob... ;s1e16_59
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  hold  onto  each  other  while  falling  down  a  long  shaft  as  the  ship  is  taking  off] ;s1e16_60
Patrick; Hang  on,  buddy!  [while  screaming,  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  are  still  falling  down  to  the  bottom  of  the  ship.  The  ship  flies  upward  out  of  the  ocean  past  Bikini  Atoll  arriving  into  space,  and  both  of  them  start  to  float.]  Hey,  we  stopped  falling! ;s1e16_61
SpongeBob; Look!  [points  at  the  dark  galaxy]  We're  in  space  now!  Whee!  [both  float  around  in  the  ship] ;s1e16_62
Patrick; [frantically  worried]  Hey!  Whoa!  Somebody  get  me  down,  or  up,  or  something! ;s1e16_63
{system}; [SpongeBob  laughs  as  the  ship  orbits  around  the  moon] ;s1e16_64
Patrick; Hey,  SpongeBob,  watch  this!  [squirts  toothpaste  into  some  peanut  butter] ;s1e16_65
SpongeBob; Hey,  you  got  your  toothpaste  in  my  peanut  butter!  [he  and  Patrick  laugh] ;s1e16_66
{system}; [The  ship  finishes  circling  the  moon  and  prepares  to  return  down  to  the  surface.  SpongeBob  lifts  a  heavy  barbell  on  one  finger] ;s1e16_67
SpongeBob; Patrick,  I  can  do  this! ;s1e16_68
{system}; [The  ship  lands  back  into  the  sea  and  the  barbell  smashes  into  the  ground  and  flattens  SpongeBob's  hand.] ;s1e16_69
Patrick; [scowls]  Hey,  who  turned  the  heavy  back  on? ;s1e16_70
SpongeBob; We  must  be  landing. ;s1e16_71
Patrick; All  right! ;s1e16_72
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  run  off  to  exit  the  ship.  Meanwhile,  Sandy  uses  her  jetpack  to  fly  up  to  the  moon] ;s1e16_73
Sandy; Sometimes  that  SpongeBob  is  as  dumb  as  a  sack  of  peanuts. ;s1e16_74
{system}; [The  ship  is  now  in  Bikini  Bottom,  landed  nearby  Squidward's  house.  While  Sandy  on  jetpack  searches  for  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  on  the  moon,  these  two  get  out  of  the  ship] ;s1e16_75
Patrick; Wow,  it  sure  looks  a  lot  like  home.  [Patrick  sees  Gary  outside  licking  himself]  Hey,  look,  it's  Gary!  Come  here,  Gary.  Gary! ;s1e16_76
SpongeBob; Wait,  don't  go  near  it,  Patrick!  Can't  you  see  this  is  all  a  trick?  The  aliens  are  projecting  our  memories  onto  the  environment!  They're  trying  to  confuse  us,  Patrick. ;s1e16_77
Patrick; So  you  mean  to  say  they�ve  taken  what  we  thought  we  think  and  make  us  think  we  thought  our  thoughts  we�ve  been  thinking  our  thoughts  we  think  we  thought?!  I  think? ;s1e16_78
SpongeBob; Okay,  but  I'm  not  gonna  to  fall  for  it!  [SpongeBob  captures  Gary  with  a  gray  net-like  substance  and  Gary  meows  worriedly]  Yeah! ;s1e16_79
Patrick; You  got  him,  SpongeBob!  Won't  Sandy  be  proud. ;s1e16_80
SpongeBob;" Sandy.  I  forgot  all  about  her.  Oh,  she's  gonna  hate  us  for  stealing  her  rocket.  But  won't  she  feel  silly  when  I  bring  her  back  a  real  live  alien?  Aw,  she'll  love  me!  [grabs  Gary]  Come  on,  Patrick,  the  more,  the  merrier!  [tosses  Gary  into  the  ship.  Ship's  number  increases  from  00  to  01  game  show  ding  from  ""The  Price  Is  Right""] ";s1e16_81
Patrick; Alien  hunting!  Alien  hunting! ;s1e16_82
SpongeBob;" Shhh,  Patrick,  don't  let  them  know  we're  onto  them.  ""Uh,  yeah,  alien  hunting.  I  saw  that  on  TV,  too.  Gee,  Patrick,  let's  drop  in  on  our  old  pal  Squidward  and  see  what  he's  up  to!""  [whispering  to  Patrick]  Make  sure  your  gun  is  pumped. ";s1e16_83
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  go  in  and  see  Squidward  sleeping  and  muttering] ;s1e16_84
SpongeBob; Look  at  it,  Patrick,  it's  disgusting. ;s1e16_85
{system};" [Squidward  moves  his  arms  and  legs  around  then  puts  them  back  down.  He  mutters  incomprehensibly  and  says,  ""Grandma.""  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  shake  nervously  and  pose  as  if  ready  to  fire.  Afterwards,  they  creep  toward  him.] ";s1e16_86
SpongeBob; It's  even  uglier  up  close.  Let's  begin  the  analysis.  [SpongeBob  takes  the  covers  off.  Squidward  is  wearing  a  pink  floral  top] ;s1e16_87
Patrick; Wait!  What's  that?  [SpongeBob  takes  a  red  bag  out  from  underneath  Squidward.  It  appears  to  be  a  hot  water  bottle]  I  think  I'm  gonna  be  sick. ;s1e16_88
SpongeBob; Patrick,  do  you  know  what  this  thing  is? ;s1e16_89
Patrick;Stinky.;s1e16_90
SpongeBob; No.  It's  an  egg  sack.  Let's  look  at  the  embryo. ;s1e16_91
{system};" [Patrick  puts  flashlight  under  the  so-called  ""egg  sack""  and  SpongeBob's  hands  are  under  it] ";s1e16_92
{system};Twins.;s1e16_93
{system}; [Squidward  rolls  over  in  his  sleep  and  his  right  tentacle  sticks  on  Patrick's  helmet.  Patrick  looks  up  and  sees  the  details  of  Squidward's  right  tentacle.] ;s1e16_94
Patrick; Pardon  my  French,  but  get  this  thing  off  me! ;s1e16_95
{system}; [SpongeBob  takes  off  Squidward's  right  tentacle,  but  now  Squidward's  tentacle  legs  attach  SpongeBob,  which  he  quickly  takes  off.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  try  to  get  his  tentacles  away  from  them  but  they  wake  him  up  instead.] ;s1e16_96
Squidward; Patrick  and  SpongeBob?  Get  out  of  my  bedroom!  And  give  me  back  my  tentacles.  [pulls  back  his  tentacles  onto  his  bed] ;s1e16_97
Patrick; It's  awake! ;s1e16_98
SpongeBob; [grabs  his  net  gun]  Let's  capture  the  little  phony! ;s1e16_99
Squidward; [screams]  Get  away  from  me! ;s1e16_100
{system};" [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  try  to  capture  Squidward  but  he  runs  away,  in  which  the  pillow  is  captured  instead.  SpongeBob  jumps  to  Squidward's  bed,  does  an  ""oogie  boogie,""  Patrick  does  a  Tarzan  yell  and  chases  Squidward.  Outside,  Mr.  Krabs  walks  up  with  his  pet  worm  and  notices  Squidward's  house  shaking.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  come  out  with  Squidward  captured.] ";s1e16_101
 Mr.  Krabs ; Ahoy,  there,  lads!  Up  a  bit  late  to  be  playing  pirate,  aren't  ye?  [laughs] ;s1e16_102
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  point  their  guns  at  his  head  Mr.  Krabs  holds  his  claws  up.] ;s1e16_103
 Mr.  Krabs ; Wait!  Don't  shoot!  Okay,  okay,  shoot  me,  but  don't  take  me  money! ;s1e16_104
SpongeBob; We  don't  want  your  money...  moon  man!  [both  capture  Mr.  Krabs  and  toss  him  and  Squidward  into  the  ship]  Look  at  them  squirming  around  in  there. ;s1e16_105
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  and  Squidward  mutter  disgruntingly] ;s1e16_106
Patrick; Eww,  gross. ;s1e16_107
SpongeBob; Well,  there's  plenty  more  where  those  came  from. ;s1e16_108
{system}; [Transitions  to  Mrs.  Puff's  Boating  School] ;s1e16_109
SpongeBob; [at  Patrick]  Shhh... ;s1e16_110
 Mrs.  Puff ; [grading  some  of  her  students'  paper]  SpongeBob,  what  are  you  doing  here  so  late?  [captured]  Whatever  this  is...  [inflates  herself  and  has  a  deep  voice]  ...it's  going  on  your  permanent  record! ;s1e16_111
{system}; [Flats  the  Flounder  is  in  the  bathroom  where  he  opens  the  mirror  revealing  SpongeBob  inside,  shocking  Flats  SpongeBob  captures  him.  Incidental  33  is  walking  while  holding  an  umbrella  where  she  gets  captured.  Larry  opens  a  mailbox  and  gets  captured.  Later,  virtually  every  Bikini  Bottomite  is  shown  to  be  captured.  Many  of  the  Bikini  Bottomites  are  complaining.  Patrick  struggles  in  putting  them  inside  the  rocket.] ;s1e16_112
Patrick; [trying  to  push  the  captured  Bikini  Bottomites  inside  the  rocket]  SpongeBob,  I  think  we  might  have  to  make  a  second  trip. ;s1e16_113
SpongeBob; There's  no  time  for  that!  Just  push  harder. ;s1e16_114
{system}; [Off-screen,  Sandy  starts  coming  in  on  her  jetpack  floating  down] ;s1e16_115
Sandy; SpongeBob,  what  are  y'all  doing?  [SpongeBob  looks  at  her  Sandy  is  shown  landing  from  her  jetpack]  I  can't  turn  my  back  on  you  for  two  seconds  without  you  causing  a  whole  mess  of  trouble.  Why  look  at  ya,  bagging  up  all  your  friends  and  neighbors  just  like  they  was  a  fresh  crop  of  hickory  smoked  sausages.  You  done  turned  my  little  science  experiment  into  a  disaster.  You  two  oughta  should  be  ashamed  of-  [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  capture  her  the  two  are  then  seen  carrying  her  walking  to  the  ship] ;s1e16_116
SpongeBob; Nice  try,  Sandy. ;s1e16_117
Patrick; Or  should  I  say  Ms.  Alien  Pants.  [laughs] ;s1e16_118
Sandy; Aliens?  Is  that  what  this  is  about?  [as  Patrick  giggles,  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  throw  her  into  the  ship]  This  isn't  the  moon!  We're  still  in  Bikini  Bot--  [door  is  slammed  shut] ;s1e16_119
SpongeBob; It  just  goes  to  show  you:  you  can't  trust  anyone. ;s1e16_120
{system}; [Both  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  stare  at  each  other,  run  off,  and  pump  their  guns.] ;s1e16_121
SpongeBob; So,  you  were  an  alien  all  the  time  and  you  didn't  even  tell  me! ;s1e16_122
Patrick; I  didn't  even  know! ;s1e16_123
SpongeBob; Yeah?  Well,  I  got  you  now. ;s1e16_124
Patrick; Oh,  but  it's  not  you  that's  got  me,  it's...  [Patrick  catches  himself  with  the  gray  netting  as  it  turns  out  he  had  his  gun  pointed  the  wrong  way]  ...me  that's  got  me. ;s1e16_125
{system}; [Scene  cuts  to  the  ship  starting  up] ;s1e16_126
SpongeBob; Boy,  I  can't  wait  to  see  the  look  on  Sandy's  face! ;s1e16_127
{system}; [The  ship  enters  the  surface  but  runs  out  of  gas  and  stops  on  the  moon.] ;s1e16_128
SpongeBob; Sandy,  I'm  back!  [peeks  out  the  window]  Wow,  Bikini  Bottom  sure  looks  different.  [sees  the  Earth  and  realizes  his  mistake]  Uh-oh... ;s1e16_129
{system}; [The  screen  fades  to  black,  ending  the  episode.] ;s1e16_130
{system}; [Scene  begins  in  Mr.  Krabs'  house.  He  is  dancing  around  and  singing  a  special  birthday  song  that  celebrates  Pearl's  birthday.  He  dances  in  front  of  her  friends.] ;s1e17_1
 Mr.  Krabs ; [dancing  and  singing  at  Pearl's  birthday  party]  Yar-har,  Pearl's  my  daughter,  I'll  spit  in  your  eye!  Yo-ho,  Pearl's  a  whale,  and  it's  her  birthday,  yar-yar-yar!  Ta-da! ;s1e17_2
{system}; [Pearl  and  her  friends  look  bored.  One  of  Pearl's  friends  lies  her  head  on  the  table,  in  dissatisfaction.] ;s1e17_3
Pearl; Thanks  for  the  show,  Dad.  Now  can  we  open  the  presents? ;s1e17_4
 Mr.  Krabs ; Oh,  all  right.  Presents  for  me  darling  little  sardine.  Here  ya  are.  [places  the  present  in  front  of  Pearl] ;s1e17_5
{system}; [Pearl  holds  the  present] ;s1e17_6
Pearl; Oh,  you  shouldn't  have.  What  is  it,  Daddy?  It  wouldn't  be  those  totally  hip  new  flipper  slippers  all  my  friends  are  wearing,  would  it?  Everyone  wants  them. ;s1e17_7
 Mr.  Krabs ; [feeling  embarrassed]  Uhh...  they  might  be. ;s1e17_8
Pearl; Whee!  [begins  to  unwrap  present]  Oh,  you  shouldn't  have,  yay,  you  shouldn't  have.  [sees  the  item  inside  present,  suddenly  goes  from  gleeful  to  annoyed]  I  mean,  Dad,  [holds  up  big  boots]  you  really  shouldn't  have! ;s1e17_9
{system}; [Pearl's  friends  laugh] ;s1e17_10
 Mr.  Krabs ; Pearl,  these  are  the  finest  fishin'  boots  available! ;s1e17_11
Pearl; Dad,  you  ruined  me!  [starts  to  cry] ;s1e17_12
 Mr.  Krabs ; But  I  got  them  for  a  bargain! ;s1e17_13
{system}; [The  anchor  house  shakes  from  Pearl's  screaming  and  wailing.  Bubble  transitions  to  the  Krusty  Krab,  in  Mr.  Krabs'  office.  Mr.  Krabs  feels  worried.] ;s1e17_14
 Mr.  Krabs ; Oh,  what  am  I  gonna  do?  I  spent  two  whole  dollars  on  these  boots  and  now  I'm  stuck  with  them! ;s1e17_15
SpongeBob; [peeks  into  Mr.  Krabs'  office]  Oh,  uhh,  Mr.  Krabs,  can  I  get  my  paycheck? ;s1e17_16
 Mr.  Krabs ; SpongeBoy,  me  Bob!  Come  in.  Come  in,  right  this  way,  laddie!  [takes  him  to  Mr.  Krabs'  desk]  Have  a  seat  anywhere,  but  not  on  these  beautiful  priceless  boots. ;s1e17_17
{system}; [SpongeBob  sits  down,  but  the  boots  are  in  his  way,  so  he  can't  see  Mr.  Krabs] ;s1e17_18
 Mr.  Krabs ; So  you  want  to  get  paid? ;s1e17_19
SpongeBob; Uhh,  sir,  I  can't  see  you.  The  boots  [leans  over  to  one  side  and  Mr.  Krabs  leans  towards  the  other]  are  in  [leans  over  to  one  side  and  Mr.  Krabs  leans  towards  the  other]  the  way. ;s1e17_20
 Mr.  Krabs ; [pushes  the  boots  aside]  In  the  way?  These  boots  never  leave  my  sight!  These  are  the  most  expensive  and  prized  possessions  I  own. ;s1e17_21
SpongeBob; Wow,  really?  Why  is  that,  they  just  look  like  any  old  ordinary  boots. ;s1e17_22
 Mr.  Krabs ; Ordinary  boots?  These  are  the  only  official  fry  cook  boots!  Only  the  finest  fry  cooks  in  the  world  are  permitted  to  wear  them!  Part  of  a  tradition.  And  these  boots  were  given  to  me  by  the  most  famous  fry  cook  in  the  sea. ;s1e17_23
SpongeBob; Who's  that? ;s1e17_24
 Mr.  Krabs ; Oh,  uhh,  oh,  well,  his  name's  not  important,  but  he  was  famous,  all  right,  don't  you  worry. ;s1e17_25
SpongeBob; I'm  ready!  I'm  ready!  I  want  those  boots! ;s1e17_26
 Mr.  Krabs ; Sorry,  son,  these  boots  are  far  too  valuable.  [takes  boots  away] ;s1e17_27
SpongeBob; Hmmm..  I  know!  What  if  I  give  you  my  Krusty  Krab  paycheck? ;s1e17_28
 Mr.  Krabs ; [thinking  about  the  sound  of  money]  Paycheck!  You  got  a  deal-- ;s1e17_29
SpongeBob; And  what  if  I  paint  the  Krusty  Krab  for  free? ;s1e17_30
 Mr.  Krabs ; [thinking  about  the  sound  of  money  again]  You've  got  a  deal. ;s1e17_31
SpongeBob; And  I'll  throw  in  a  year's  supply  of  French  fry  orders! ;s1e17_32
 Mr.  Krabs ; [thinking  about  the  sound  of  money  yet  again]  You  got  a... ;s1e17_33
SpongeBob; And...  [Mr.  Krabs  stops  SpongeBob  from  saying  anything  else] ;s1e17_34
 Mr.  Krabs ; Hold  on  there,  lad!  You're  gonna  give  me  a  heart  attack!  Phew!  [shakes  SpongeBob's  hand]  You  got  yourself  a  deal. ;s1e17_35
{system}; [Squidward  is  drying  off  a  glass,  rubbing  it  with  a  cloth.  He  blows  the  glass  for  a  final  shine,  and  is  proud  of  it.  He  suddenly  hears  the  sound  of  squeaking.] ;s1e17_36
Squidward; [scratches  head]  Hmm... ;s1e17_37
{system}; [He  then  looks  through  the  glass  and  sees  SpongeBob  dancing  around  wearing  boots.  The  scene  is  now  viewed  from  the  perspective  of  Squidward's  eye.] ;s1e17_38
SpongeBob; Hey,  Squidward.  Do  you  like  my  new  boots? ;s1e17_39
{system}; [Squidward  blankly  stares  at  him,  and  blinks] ;s1e17_40
SpongeBob; Pretty  cool,  huh?  Now,  I'm  an  official  fry  cook! ;s1e17_41
{system}; [Squidward  feels  mildly  annoyed.] ;s1e17_42
{system}; [SpongeBob  bounces  up  and  down  in  the  boots,  making  them  squeak,  as  Squidward  watches.  Then  SpongeBob  bounces  harder  and  faster  until  Squidward's  head  is  bouncing  up  and  down  really  hard  trying  to  keep  up.  Then  SpongeBob  leaves  to  squeak  his  boots  around  the  Krusty  Krab,  including  jumping,  walking  with  the  boots  on  his  hands,  and  doing  the  moonwalk.  Squidward  gets  more  annoyed  at  this.] ;s1e17_43
Squidward; [blocks  his  ears,  makes  an  annoyed  grunt]  That  squeaking  is  gonna  drive  us  all  crazy! ;s1e17_44
{system}; [Later  that  night,  Mr.  Krabs  is  going  to  bed.  Mr.  Krabs  is  in  his  room,  lying  in  his  hammock  and  imagining  dollar  bills  jumping  one-by-one  into  a  cash  register  like  counting  sheep] ;s1e17_45
 Mr.  Krabs ; [muttering]  Arrgh.  Money,  money,  money,  money,  money.  10,  20,  30,  40...  [all  of  a  sudden,  the  pair  of  squeaky  boots  jumps  into  the  register.  He  opens  his  eyes]  Wha?  Who's  there?  [realizing  there  was  nothing  wrong]  Heh-heh...  [fluffs  his  pillow] ;s1e17_46
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  rests  his  head  on  his  pillow] ;s1e17_47
 Mr.  Krabs ; Back  to  countin'  me  money.  [closes  his  eyes  again  and  imagines  coins  jumping  into  the  register]  1,  2,  3,  4,  5...  [the  boots  appear  again  Mr.  Krabs  opens  his  eyes  again]  What  the  barnacle  is  that?  Uh? ;s1e17_48
{system}; [He  sees  that  the  bedroom  window  is  opening  and  shutting  by  itself,  making  squeaky  noises.] ;s1e17_49
 Mr.  Krabs ;Errgh!;s1e17_50
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  closes  the  window  and  gets  back  into  bed,  but  notices  the  window  has  opened  again.  He  walks  back  across  the  room  to  close  it  but  steps  into  a  hole  and  falls  out  the  window,  breaking  the  tip  of  his  leg  off  in  the  process.  He  makes  utterances  of  falling.  He  comes  back  to  run  up  the  stairs,  and  he  enters  back  to  his  bedroom.  This  time,  Mr.  Krabs  watches  his  step  to  avoid  another  hole.] ;s1e17_51
 Mr.  Krabs ; Errgh...  ooh?  [sees  the  hole]  Careful.  [shuts  the  window,  but  it  won't  close.] ;s1e17_52
{system}; [He  starts  shutting  it  with  increasing  force  and  speed  until  the  window  finally  stays  closed,  grunting  every  time  he  pushes  the  window.] ;s1e17_53
{system};" [The  window  reopens  again,  and  Mr.  Krabs  gives  it  the  ""evil  eye""  followed  by  a  growl.  The  window  immediately  closes  back.  Mr.  Krabs  then  starts  to  go  back  to  bed,  and  yawns  as  he  walks  back  toward  there,  but  he  steps  into  the  same  hole  he  avoided  earlier  and  gets  stuck  there.] ";s1e17_54
 Mr.  Krabs ; Huh?  [loses  balance  and  breaks  the  tip  of  his  other  leg  off] ;s1e17_55
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  screams  as  he  gets  flung  into  his  hammock  and  gets  all  twisted  up  in  it.  Mr.  Krabs  can  do  nothing  but  lie  there  with  bloodshot  eyes  as  the  window  makes  squeaky  noises  all  night,  as  if  it  is  clapping  at  him.  Fade  to  the  next  morning  Mr.  Krabs  has  his  legs  bandaged  up  as  he  drowsily  walks  to  the  Krusty  Krab] ;s1e17_56
 Mr.  Krabs ; Arrgh,  that  was  the  worst  night  I  ever  weathered.  At  least  I'll  have  some  peace  and  quiet  at  work. ;s1e17_57
{system}; [As  he  walks  up  to  the  door,  Squidward  slams  the  doors  open  into  Mr.  Krabs'  face] ;s1e17_58
Squidward; That's  it,  Mr.  Krabs  I'm  taking  my  vacation  now. ;s1e17_59
 Mr.  Krabs ; [muffled]  What's  wrong,  Mr.  Squid-ard? ;s1e17_60
Squidward;" I  can't  take  [sarcastically]  ""The  world's  greatest  fry  cook""  anymore!  I'll  see  you  in  a  week.  [leaves  the  Krusty  Krab] ";s1e17_61
 Mr.  Krabs ; That  fry  cook's  making  me  a  fortune.  What  could  be  the  problem?  [as  he  speaks,  the  camera  looks  toward  SpongeBob] ;s1e17_62
{system}; [SpongeBob  is  shown  with  his  boots  on  and  is  carrying  two  large  plates  full  of  Krabby  Patties  in  each  hand.] ;s1e17_63
SpongeBob; Hey,  Mr.  Krabs! ;s1e17_64
 Mr.  Krabs ; SpongeBob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-ob.  [Every  time  SpongeBob's  boots  squeak,  Mr.  Krabs  stutters.  SpongeBob  walks  up  to  Mr.  Krabs,  but  he  is  so  tall,  all  Mr.  Krabs  can  see  is  his  boots] ;s1e17_65
 Mr.  Krabs ; I...  uhh,  I  see  you're  still  wearing  them  boots.  [points  to  the  boots] ;s1e17_66
SpongeBob;" [raises  his  right  leg]  Are  you  kidding?  I  love  them!  [leans  towards  Mr.  Krabs�  face]  Could  ""The  world's  greatest  fry  cook""  do  this?  [runs  in  place  fast  with  plates  of  Krabby  Patties  in  each  hand,  spins  around,  and  then  kneels  down  while  the  Krabby  Patties  carefully  land  perfectly  onto  the  plates.] ";s1e17_67
 Mr.  Krabs ; Well,  I  don't...  uhh...  I  don't...  uhh... ;s1e17_68
SpongeBob;" [standing  back  up]  Or  could  he  do  this?  [leans  over  to  to  his  right  side  and  sets  the  plate  on  the  table  without  having  to  move  his  feet  from  his  spot  at  all]  Or  this?  [leans  to  the  table  on  his  left  side  and  puts  a  plate  of  patties  on  that  table,  then  goes  behind  the  register  and  stands  on  top  of  the  boat]  And  watch  this,  Mr.  Krabs!  [moves  his  boots  around  slightly,  making  them  ""talk""] ";s1e17_69
 Incidental  4 ; Yeah,  I'll  have  the  Krusty  Special. ;s1e17_70
SpongeBob;" Could  ""The  greatest  fry  cook""  do  that,  Mr.  Krabs? ";s1e17_71
 Mr.  Krabs ; I,  uhh... ;s1e17_72
SpongeBob; And  look  at  this,  Mr.  Krabs.  [holds  his  breath,  making  the  boots  inflate,  causing  him  to  float.  Then  he  levitates  across  with  his  legs  stretched  far  apart.]  And  this,  and  this,  and  this,  and  this,  and  this,  and  this,  and  this,  and  this,  and  this,  and  this,  and  this,  and  this,  and  this,  and  this,  and  this.  [SpongeBob  zooms  all  over  the  Krusty  Krab  and  does  many  different  things  with  his  boots  until  Mr.  Krabs  can't  take  it  anymore] ;s1e17_73
 Mr.  Krabs ; [his  eyes  go  bloodshot]  [screaming]  I  gotta  go  to  my  office!  [puts  seat  cushions  over  his  ears]  I  can  still  hear  it!  [puts  chairs  over  his  ears]  It's  still  coming  through!  The  infernal  squeak!  [he  repeatedly  bangs  his  head  on  his  desk]  Those  boots  have  got  to  go!  And  I  need  an  aspirin. ;s1e17_74
{system}; [that  night,  at  SpongeBob's  pineapple...] ;s1e17_75
SpongeBob; [walking  to  his  bed  with  his  boots  still  on]  Gary,  these  boots  have  changed  my  life.  I'm  never  taking  them  off. ;s1e17_76
Gary; [goes  into  his  shell  and  comes  out  with  earplugs  in]  Meow. ;s1e17_77
SpongeBob; Good  night,  Gary. ;s1e17_78
{system}; [SpongeBob  wiggles  his  feet,  making  the  boots  squeak  one  more  time  before  going  to  sleep.  As  SpongeBob  is  sleeping  with  his  boots  on,  Mr.  Krabs  peeks  over  his  diving  board  and  climbs  down.  He  sees  the  boots,  which  inflate  and  deflate  with  SpongeBob's  snoring  pattern.  Mr.  Krabs  then  takes  the  boots  off  his  feet  and  runs  to  the  Krusty  Krab,  laughing  quietly  as  he  runs  back.  Some  hammering  sounds  are  heard,  then  a  rooster  crows  as  night  fades  to  morning.  Mr.  Krabs  now  sniffs  his  money.] ;s1e17_79
 Mr.  Krabs ; Ah,  quiet  money.  [satisfyingly  sniffing  a  handful  of  money]  Silence  and  money. ;s1e17_80
{system}; [SpongeBob  suddenly  bursts  through  the  double  doors,  tearfully] ;s1e17_81
SpongeBob; Mr.  Krabs! ;s1e17_82
 Mr.  Krabs ; What  is  it,  my  boy? ;s1e17_83
SpongeBob; [crying,  while  looking  at  the  ground]  Oh,  Mr.  Krabs,  I'm  sorry!  Sorry!  Sorry!  I'm  sorry! ;s1e17_84
 Mr.  Krabs ; It's  okay,  son. ;s1e17_85
SpongeBob; [cries  harder  and  looks  up  at  his  boss  with  tears  streaming  down  his  face]  No,  it's  not  okay!  I  lost  the  boots!  Your  valuable  boots,  it's  my  fault,  I  let  you  down!  Oh,  I'm  sorry,  I'm  sorry!  Ohh,  sorry,  sorry,  sorry,  sorry. ;s1e17_86
 Mr.  Krabs ; Hold  it,  boy!  It's  not  the  end  of  the  world. ;s1e17_87
SpongeBob; Yes,  it  is! ;s1e17_88
 Mr.  Krabs ; Look,  don't  cry.  I  got  some,  uhh,  some  magic  oven  mitts!  [holds  up  some  oven  mitts] ;s1e17_89
SpongeBob; [puts  them  on  his  feet,  waits  a  second,  then  kicks  them  off]  They're  not  the  same!  You  were  right.  I  wasn't  ready  for  those  blessed  boots.  [walks  into  the  door,  opens  it,  then  goes  into  the  kitchen] ;s1e17_90
 Mr.  Krabs ; Poor  lad.  [looks  through  the  window  and  sees  that  SpongeBob  is  so  upset,  he  has  his  head  down...  right  on  top  of  the  hot  grill] ;s1e17_91
 Incidental  6 ; [touches  Mr.  Krabs  twice,  feeling  concerned  if  Mr.  Krabs  upset  SpongeBob]  Excuse  me? ;s1e17_92
 Mr.  Krabs ; I  didn't  do  it!  [sees  Incidental  6]  Ohh,  heh-heh,  can  I  help  ya? ;s1e17_93
 Incidental  6 ; Yeah,  I'm  ready  to  order. ;s1e17_94
 Mr.  Krabs ; [takes  out  a  notepad]  What'll  ya  have? ;s1e17_95
 Incidental  6 ; I'll  take  a  [squeak  squeak]. ;s1e17_96
 Mr.  Krabs ; [becomes  surprised]  What  did  you  say? ;s1e17_97
 Incidental  6 ; I  said,  I'll  take  a  [squeak]. ;s1e17_98
 Mr.  Krabs ;Huh?;s1e17_99
SpongeBob; [still  in  tears]  I  heard  his  order,  Mr.  Krabs.  He  says  he  wants  [squeak  squeak]. ;s1e17_100
 Mr.  Krabs ;What?;s1e17_101
 Incidental  6 ; And  a  [squeak  squeak  squeak  squeak]. ;s1e17_102
 Mr.  Krabs ;Huh?!;s1e17_103
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  starts  going  insane,  imagining  everything  and  everyone  squeaking] ;s1e17_104
 Mr.  Krabs ; Huh?  [more  squeaking]  What?  [yet  more  squeaking]  Huh? ;s1e17_105
{system};" [He  sees  ""squeak""  as  an  item  for  everything.  He  looks  at  a  clock  with  labels  ""squeak""  and  ""squeak""  and  continuously  ticks.] ";s1e17_106
 Mr.  Krabs ; [scared]  What  the-!? ;s1e17_107
{system};" [Mr.  Krabs  keeps  thinking  and  hearing  the  squeaks,  this  time  seeing  an  distorted  menu  with  items  that  only  read  ""squeak""  multiple  times.  His  eyes  now  start  becoming  red,  visibly  showing  red  vessels.] ";s1e17_108
 Mr.  Krabs ; I  didn't  write  that!  [utters  a  scared  sound,  continues  seeing  the  distorted  menu] ;s1e17_109
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  recalls  the  squeaking  from  Incidental  6] ;s1e17_110
 Mr.  Krabs ; Who  said  that?  Huh?! ;s1e17_111
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  continues  to  see  distorted  memories  that  keep  squeaking.  The  entire  screen  gets  bleached  out,  as  if  to  depict  extreme  insanity.  He  gets  paranoia  from  a  dripping  kitchen  sink.] ;s1e17_112
 Mr.  Krabs ; [scared]  What?! ;s1e17_113
{system}; [He  even  imagines  the  dripping  kitchen  sink  makes  squeaking  sounds  instead  of  dripping  sounds.] ;s1e17_114
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  continues  to  see  distorted  memories  that  keep  squeaking.  Eventually  he  starts  seeing  visions  of  SpongeBob  and  his  boots.] ;s1e17_115
SpongeBob;" [in  Mr.  Krabs'  head]  Could  ""The  world's  greatest  fry  cook""  do  this?...  And  this,  and  this,  and  this,  and  this,  and  this,  and  this... ";s1e17_116
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs'  eye  starts  swirling  as  he  imagines  him  speaking,  engulfing  his  own  sight  with  a  blur  of  items  orbiting  inside  his  view.] ;s1e17_117
 Mr.  Krabs ; [snaps]  Stop  it!  [two  customers  get  startled  by  Mr.  Krabs'  scream]  Stop  it!  [his  eyes  start  contorting]  Oh,  oh,  don't  you  hear  it?! ;s1e17_118
{system}; [A  few  other  customers  in  the  corner  had  also  witnessed  the  scene.  They  look  at  Mr.  Krabs  like  he's  crazy,  while  one  of  them  blinks.  Mr.  Krabs  appears  mentally  insane.] ;s1e17_119
 Mr.  Krabs ; Yes,  I  did  it!  I  did  it!  I  took  the  boots!  They're  here!  Under  the  floorboard!  [sobbing]  Oh,  please!  Make  it  stop!  It's  the  squeaking  of  the  hideous  boots!  [throws  himself  onto  the  floor  and  bawls]  I'm  sorry!  [lifts  up  the  entire  Krusty  Krab  and  grabs  the  boots,  with  everyone  screaming  inside.]  But  I  can't  take  the  infernal  squeakin'  no  more!  [sees  the  ghastly  boots,  clenches  his  eyes  that  his  pupils  form  an  X,  and  lets  go  of  the  entire  Krusty  Krab. ;s1e17_120
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  runs  into  the  kitchen  with  an  evil  expression  on  his  face  and  puts  the  boots  into  a  vat  of  grease,  which  shrinks  them,  and  he  eats  them.  After  that,  he  opens  the  door  to  the  dining  room,  and  finally  lets  out  a  long  burp.] ;s1e17_121
 Mr.  Krabs ; [burps]  The  deed  is  done. ;s1e17_122
SpongeBob; [confused]  Umm,  why  did  you  eat  my  boots,  Mr.  Krabs? ;s1e17_123
 Mr.  Krabs ; Because,  lad,  you  didn't  need  'em.  It's  not  the  boots,  it's  the  boot-ee.  I  mean,  uh,  the  person...  in  the  boots.  You're  a  great  fry  cook. ;s1e17_124
SpongeBob; You  really  think  so,  Mr.  Krabs? ;s1e17_125
 Mr.  Krabs ; I  do,  son.  [hands  SpongeBob  a  stack  of  money]  Here's  the  paycheck  I  owe  you.  [puts  another  stack  of  money  on  top  of  the  first  stack]  Plus  a  bonus!  [takes  the  second  stack  of  money]  Well,  here's  your  paycheck  anyway.  [walks  away]  I  need  a  vacation. ;s1e17_126
SpongeBob; Bye,  Mr.  Krabs! ;s1e17_127
{system}; [Fade  to  Mr.  Krabs  and  Pearl  taking  a  drive  out  to  somewhere,  with  a  campervan  behind  their  boat] ;s1e17_128
Pearl; [lifts  her  feet  over  the  side  of  the  door  to  reveal  her  new  shoes]  Don't  forget  my  new  flipper  slippers,  Daddy! ;s1e17_129
 Mr.  Krabs ; Darling,  I  won't.  [as  he  laughs,  he  hiccups  and  the  squeaky  noise  comes  out]  Oh,  no.  [continues  to  hiccup  and  squeak  as  they  drive  off  into  the  distance  and  the  episode  ends] ;s1e17_130
{system}; [SpongeBob  is  grilling  Krabby  Patties  in  the  Krusty  Krab  kitchen  until  one  of  them  suddenly  levitates  up  from  the  grill  and  turns  into  a  jellyfish.  It  floats  out  the  window  as  the  rest  of  the  patties  turn  into  jellyfish  and  do  the  same.  SpongeBob  follows  them  and  flies  out  the  window  and  turns  into  a  jellyfish.  He  buzzes  around  Jellyfish  Fields  when  he  hears  Mr.  Krabs  voice.] ;s1e18_1
 Mr.  Krabs ; SpongeBob?  SpongeBob! ;s1e18_2
{system}; [Shows  reality  of  SpongeBob  at  the  kitchen.  The  grill  is  on  fire,  smoke  clearly  coming  out  of  it] ;s1e18_3
 Mr.  Krabs ; Wake  up,  boy!  You're  burning  me  money! ;s1e18_4
{system}; [SpongeBob  wakes  up  from  his  dream  and  screams.  Then  runs  behind  Mr.  Krabs] ;s1e18_5
SpongeBob; Mr.  Krabs,  what  do  we  do? ;s1e18_6
 Mr.  Krabs ; Here,  use  this! ;s1e18_7
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  hands  SpongeBob  a  fire  extinguisher.  SpongeBob  throws  it  at  the  grill  and  sets  the  fire  larger  than  before.  Mr.  Krabs  angrily  looks  at  SpongeBob  for  his  stupidity,  as  he  realizes  his  error.] ;s1e18_8
{system}; [SpongeBob  was  very  hot  inside  in  summer-like  heat,  then  tries  to  blow  on  the  fire  to  put  it  out  until  a  fireman  comes  into  the  kitchen  with  a  hose] ;s1e18_9
Fireman; [imitating  the  sound  of  a  fire  truck] ;s1e18_10
{system}; [Fireman  sprays  SpongeBob  with  the  water.  SpongeBob  enlarges  and  falls  backwards,  which  puts  out  the  fire] ;s1e18_11
 Mr.  Krabs ; SpongeBob,  come  into  me  office. ;s1e18_12
{system}; [Cut  to  Mr.  Krabs  office] ;s1e18_13
 Mr.  Krabs ; What's  wrong,  boy? ;s1e18_14
SpongeBob; Well,  I... ;s1e18_15
 Mr.  Krabs ; This  is  the  fourth  time  this  week  I've  had  to  scrape  you  off  of  something. ;s1e18_16
SpongeBob; Well,  I've  been  thinking. ;s1e18_17
 Mr.  Krabs ; We  need  to  get  you  thinking  about  work.  [stretches  his  eyes  out] ;s1e18_18
SpongeBob; No  offense,  Mr.  Krabs,  but  I've  been  thinking  about  giving  up  my  cold  industrial  life  in  favor  of  a  more  natural  and  free  life  among  the  jellyfish. ;s1e18_19
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs's  eyes  suck  back  in,  and  his  eyes  now  stick  back  up  as  normal] ;s1e18_20
 Mr.  Krabs ; [laughs  a  very  long  time]  Ah,  SpongeBob,  you  wouldn't  last  even  one  day  in  the  wild.  This  is  your  natural  habitat.  [shows  the  kitchen]  This  is  your  wide  open  range.  [shows  the  grill]  These  are  your  amber  waves.  [shows  the  greasy  fryers]  And  this  [picks  up  a  spatula  from  the  sink]  oh,  this  is  your  golden  scepter,  with  which  you  rule!  That's  better  than  nasty  old  jellyfish,  right,  SpongeBob?  [SpongeBob  is  gone.  Mr.  Krabs  looks  around  his  head.]  SpongeBob? ;s1e18_21
SpongeBob; [walks  out  the  Krusty  Krab]  I  can  too  last  more  than  one  day.  I'll  show  him.  Aw,  barnacles!  [throws  his  hat  on  the  ground] ;s1e18_22
 Mr.  Krabs ; [opens  the  doors]  SpongeBob,  wait!  [sees  SpongeBob's  hat  on  the  ground  and  screams,  revealing  the  hat  has  been  dropped]  Oh,  he'll  be  back,  alright.  He'll  be  back. ;s1e18_23
{system}; [Fades  to  SpongeBob's  neighborhood.  SpongeBob  is  now  giving  his  stuff  away  to  his  friends.  Shown  on-screen  is  SpongeBob,  Patrick,  and  Squidward.] ;s1e18_24
SpongeBob; And,  Squidward,  I  want  you  to  have  my  can  opener.  [gives  it  to  him] ;s1e18_25
Squidward; And  I  thought  this  friendship  would  never  pay  off.  [walks  away] ;s1e18_26
Patrick; [teary-eyed]  Are-are-are-are  you  sure  you  want  to  give  me  this  mayonnaise?  [shows  him  the  jar  of  mayonnaise] ;s1e18_27
SpongeBob; It's  all  yours. ;s1e18_28
{system}; [Patrick  holds  up  a  bunch  of  phone  books] ;s1e18_29
Patrick; A-a-and  these  old  phone  books? ;s1e18_30
SpongeBob;" All  yours,  old  friend.  [walks  off  and  comes  back  with  a  case]  Patrick,  there  is  one  more  thing  I  want  you  to  have.  [Opens  up  a  rectangular  box  that  has  the  words  ""Ol'  Reliable""  on  the  front.  A  glowing  jellyfish  net  is  inside.  Patrick  gasps  and  pants  with  excitement  as  he  throws  the  phone  books  away  and  picks  up  Ol'  Reliable] ";s1e18_31
Patrick; Oh!  O-o-ol'  Reliable?  [cries  as  Sandy  walks  up] ;s1e18_32
Sandy; Howdy,  y'all.  Hey,  SpongeBob,  you  having  a  garage  sale? ;s1e18_33
SpongeBob; No,  Sandy,  I'm  giving  up  my  material  possessions  to  live  in  the  wild  with  the  jellyfish. ;s1e18_34
Sandy; SpongeBob,  of  all  the  crazy  schemes.  Why  would  you  want  to  live  among  the  jellyfish?  They're  cold  and  mean  and  none  too  bright. ;s1e18_35
{system}; [SpongeBob  pats  Sandy's  helmet] ;s1e18_36
SpongeBob; Oh,  oh,  Sandy.  That's  exactly  the  response  I  would  expect  from  someone  who  lives  the  sham  of  a  life  I  once  lived.  I'm  gonna  prove  I  don't  need  all  this  stuff  to  be  happy.  [walks  away]  Maybe  someday  you'll  wise  up  and  join  me.  Goodbye.  [walks  behind  a  bush  and  takes  his  pants  off]  I  won't  be  needing  these.  [drops  his  pants  and  runs  away]  Buzz,  buzz,  buzz.  [His  friends  see  SpongeBob's  actions:  Patrick  clearly  upset,  shaking  himself,  Squidward  feeling  indifferent,  and  Sandy  feeling  concerned.] ;s1e18_37
Squidward; He  took  off  his  pants. ;s1e18_38
Sandy; I'll  give  him  a  week.  [walks  away] ;s1e18_39
Squidward; I'll  give  him  eleven  minutes.  [walks  away,  throwing  off  the  can  opener  at  Patrick.] ;s1e18_40
Patrick; Patrick  sad! ;s1e18_41
{system}; [At  Jellyfish  Fields.  SpongeBob  touches  the  Jellyfish  Fields  sign.] ;s1e18_42
Sandy; Here,  Patrick,  have  a  Krabby  Patty!  [whispers  into  Patrick's  ear]  There  he  is,  Patrick.  Say  your  line. ;s1e18_43
Patrick;" [reading  off  his  script]  ""Why,  thank  you,  Sandy,  I  would  love  one.  (take  patty).""  [takes  the  patty]  ""Too  bad  SpongeBob  isn't  here.  These  are  his  favorites.  I  sure  wish  he'd  come  home.  (take  bite).""  [sniffles.  tries  to  take  a  bite,  but  throws  the  patty  and  the  script  away  and  turns  to  SpongeBob]  I  can't  do  it!  SpongeBob!  Come  back! ";s1e18_44
SpongeBob; Patrick,  I'm  not  coming  home. ;s1e18_45
Patrick; I  miss  you!  [cuts  to  Sandy  waving  hello,  but  in  guilty  manner  because  of  set-up]  Sandy  misses  you!  Even  Squidward  misses  you! ;s1e18_46
Squidward; [while  throwing  himself  a  party  at  his  home]  Whoopee!  Ha  ha!  Yeah!  Ha  ha!  Ha!  Heh!  Ha-ha-cha! ;s1e18_47
SpongeBob; I'm  happy  here.  This  is  my  home  now.  [Sandy  drags  Patrick  away] ;s1e18_48
Patrick; No!  SpongeBob!  [later,  SpongeBob  comes  in  wiggling  his  arms  and  legs  like  the  jellyfish] ;s1e18_49
SpongeBob; Hey,  everybody!  I'm  back!  I  think  I'm  getting  the  hang  of  this. ;s1e18_50
{system}; [Jellyfish  float  away  as  the  net  is  swung  at  SpongeBob,  which  knocks  him  down.  Patrick,  breathing  heavily  in  anger,  is  ready  to  capture  SpongeBob  with  Ol'  Reliable] ;s1e18_51
SpongeBob; Patrick!  What  are  you  doing? ;s1e18_52
Patrick;" [eyes  tearing]  If  I  can't  have  you  as  a  friend,  I'm  gonna  make  you  a  trophy!  [Violently  swings  his  jellyfish  net  once,  as  if  to  catch  a  jellyfish.  He  then  shows  a  jar  with  a  label  on  the  front  that  reads  ""SpongeBob  -  Friend""]  I  even  picked  out  this  nice  jar  for  you!  [shows  SpongeBob  the  jar] ";s1e18_53
SpongeBob; Patrick!  Go  home!  I'm  a  jellyfish  now! ;s1e18_54
{system}; [Patrick  swings  the  net  at  SpongeBob  but  SpongeBob  runs  away.] ;s1e18_55
Patrick; [war  cry] ;s1e18_56
{system}; [After  hearing  Patrick's  war  cry,  SpongeBob  runs  away  and  hides  behind  a  rock  but  the  rock  is  actually  a  giant  snail's  shell.] ;s1e18_57
{system}; Meow.  [slithers  away] ;s1e18_58
{system}; [SpongeBob  flees  from  the  roaring  Patrick.  Patrick  continues  making  a  war  cry  and  then  begins  chases  SpongeBob.  SpongeBob  then  hides  behind  a  rock] ;s1e18_59
Patrick; I  can  see  you  there!  [SpongeBob  hides  behind  a  bush]  I  still  see  you!  [SpongeBob  hides  behind  another  rock]  You're  gonna  look  good  on  my  mantel!  [SpongeBob  continues  fleeing  from  Patrick]  Friends  forever,  SpongeBob! ;s1e18_60
{system}; [SpongeBob  runs  underneath  an  arch  rock  and  gasps  for  oxygen.  He  spots  Patrick  underneath  the  rock  on  the  top] ;s1e18_61
Patrick; I  got  you  now,  SpongeBob!  [falls  on  the  ground  and  misses  SpongeBob] ;s1e18_62
SpongeBob; Patrick!  No! ;s1e18_63
{system}; [Patrick  runs  after  SpongeBob  again  as  SpongeBob  jumps  into  the  jellyfish  hive.  Patrick  tries  to  get  the  hive  down  with  the  net,  but  he  can't  reach  it.  He  vainly  tries  to  jump  to  reach  the  hive,  to  no  avail.] ;s1e18_64
Patrick; Okay!  So  this  is  the  way  it's  gonna  be.  I  hope  you're  happy!  [snaps  the  net  in  half  over  his  knee  and  walks  away,  sobbing] ;s1e18_65
SpongeBob; Well,  that's  over.  Back  to  jellyfish  matters.  [a  drop  of  jelly  lands  on  SpongeBob  nose.  He  samples  it]  Mmm,  jelly.  [eats  a  lot  of  jelly  as  the  jellyfish  come  back  toward  the  hive]  Ah,  my  jellyfish  brethren  are  returning.  [jellyfish  buzz  into  the  hive]  Greetings,  comrades! ;s1e18_66
{system}; [The  jellyfish  repeatedly  sting  SpongeBob  and  he  screams.  SpongeBob  climbs  out  of  the  hive  and  runs  as  the  jellyfish  keep  stinging  him.] ;s1e18_67
SpongeBob; [feeling  burnt  out  emotionally]  Being  a  jellyfish  sure  is  fun.  Buzz.  [rips  off  a  bushel  of  grass]  Buzz.  [pushes  a  rock  over  as  he  uses  it  for  his  pillow]  Buzz.  [pushes  the  rock  aside  and  gets  cold.  The  blanket  scrunches  up,  but  SpongeBob  pushes  it  back  down.  The  blanket  scrunches  up  again  and  SpongeBob  gets  cold]  Hey!  Eww,  I'm  itchy!  Itchy,  why  am  I  so  itchy!  [takes  off  the  blanket  and  reveals  nine  poison  sea  urchins]  Ah!  Poison  sea  urchins! ;s1e18_68
SpongeBob; Ow,  ow,  oh,  itches.  Ow,  ow,  itches.  [Continues  speaking  in  pain,  and  crawls  on  the  ground  to  stop  the  itching.] ;s1e18_69
{system}; [Later,  SpongeBob  is  walking  home,  back  to  Bikini  Bottom,  at  night] ;s1e18_70
SpongeBob;" Buzz.  Buzz.  Buzz.  [says  ""Buzz""  fourteen  more  times  as  he  walks  up  to  the  Krusty  Krab  door  and  sees  a  plate  full  of  Krabby  Patties  on  a  table]  Krabby  Patties.  [walks  past  Sandy's  treedome,  then  he  sniffles]  Sandy.  [still  saying  ""Buzz,""  walks  up  to  his  pineapple]  What  have  I  done?  I  had  a  great  life  and  friends,  and  I  gave  all  of  that  up. ";s1e18_71
{system}; [SpongeBob  opens  the  door  and  turns  the  light  on.  Mr.  Krabs,  Sandy,  Squidward,  Patrick,  and  Gary  are  there  to  welcome  him  home] ;s1e18_72
SpongeBob; You  guys  are  the  best!  I  made  a  huge  mistake.  Please  forgive  me! ;s1e18_73
 Mr.  Krabs ; Ah,  quit  your  blubbering  and  have  a  Krabby  Patty.  [hands  him  a  Krabby  Patty] ;s1e18_74
SpongeBob; Don't  mind  if  I  do.  [eats  it  as  Mr.  Krabs  places  his  Krusty  Crew  hat  on  his  head] ;s1e18_75
 Mr.  Krabs ; And  I'll  see  you  at  work  first  thing  tomorrow  morning. ;s1e18_76
SpongeBob; [salutes]  Aye,  aye,  captain! ;s1e18_77
Squidward; SpongeBob,  do  us  all  a  favor.  [hands  SpongeBob  his  pants] ;s1e18_78
SpongeBob; Don't  mind  if  I  do!  [puts  on  his  pants]  Ta-dah.  [hugs  Squidward]  Aww. ;s1e18_79
Squidward; Okay,  that's  enough.  [everyone  else  hugs  SpongeBob  and  Squidward] ;s1e18_80
Gary;Meow.;s1e18_81
Squidward; Could  we  please  stop  this?  [everyone  stops  hugging] ;s1e18_82
Patrick; Patrick  itchy!  [everyone  but  SpongeBob  starts  to  scratch  themselves  and  crawl  on  the  floor] ;s1e18_83
SpongeBob; It  is  great  to  be  home! ;s1e18_84
{system};" [The  episode  begins  with  Squidward's  house  at  sunrise.  A  clam  crows  like  a  rooster.  Pan-fades  to  inside  Squidward's  house,  where  Squidward  is  asleep  and  hears  noises.  He  awakens,  revealing  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  under  his  blanket  with  a  banner  of  letters  that  reads  ""happy  birthday.""  Patrick  blows  a  noisemaker.] ";s1e19_1
{system}; Surprise!  Happy  birthday,  Squidward!  [all  three  standing  in  front  of  a  cake]  Happy  happy  birthday!  Happy  birthday  cake!  [standing  in  front  of  a  picture  of  a  seahorse  and  Squidward  has  the  tail]  Happy  happy  birthday!  Pin  the  tail  on  the  seahorse!  [surrounded  by  presents]  Happy  happy  birthday!  Happy  birthday,  Squidward!  [run  out  of  Squidward's  house  with  confetti] ;s1e19_2
SpongeBob; Yeah!  So  long,  Squidward,  bye-bye,  don't  do  anything  I  wouldn't  do. ;s1e19_3
Patrick; Another  year  older.  [laughs] ;s1e19_4
Squidward; [frustrated]  It's  not  my  birthday!  [shuts  the  door  and  takes  off  his  party  hat]  That's  it!  I'm  moving  out  of  this  neighborhood! ;s1e19_5
{system}; [Bubble  transitions  to  Incidental  49A  looking  at  a  picture  of  Squidward's  house.] ;s1e19_6
 Incidental  49 ; Absolutely,  Mr.  Tentacles!  [showing  the  realtor  lady  as  Incidental  49A  from  Bikini  Realty  on  phone]  I  can  sell  your  home  in  a  heartbeat. ;s1e19_7
Squidward; Oh,  that's  great  news,  because  I  want  to  move  as  soon  as  possible. ;s1e19_8
Squidward;" Oh  sure,  there's  none  of  that...  [worried]  Did  you  say  ""neighbors?"" ";s1e19_9
 Incidental  49 ; Of  course!  I  can't  tell  you  how  many  times  I've  seen  a  sale  fall  through  because  of  bad  neighbors. ;s1e19_10
Squidward; Neighbors.  Uhh... ;s1e19_11
Squidward; SpongeBob!  No  one  will  ever  buy  my  house  with  him  living  next  door!  Whatever  a  good  neighbor  would  do,  he  does  the  opposite!  [gets  an  idea]  Opposite...  opposite... ;s1e19_12
{system}; [Night  turns  to  day  then  rooster  crows  everyone  up.  SpongeBob  is  sleeping,  but  is  awakened  by  a  loud  nose.  Then  it  was  revealed  that  the  noise  is  coming  from  Squidward  marching  outside  SpongeBob's  house  playing  a  bass  drum,  a  pair  of  cymbals,  a  set  of  bagpipes,  and  a  whistle.] ;s1e19_13
SpongeBob; Umm,  Squidward,  why  are  you  playing  that  drum?  [Squidward  stops  playing] ;s1e19_14
Squidward; Drum?  What  drum?  [puts  the  drum  on  the  ground,  punches  a  hole  in  it,  and  pulls  out  a  wig]  This  is  just  my  wig  case!  See?  [puts  on  the  wig,  kicks  the  drum  out  of  the  way  and  frolics  around]  Come  on,  SpongeBob,  tackle  me! ;s1e19_15
SpongeBob; Squidward!  You  need  bed  rest!  [pushes  Squidward  to  his  house  as  Squidward  is  blowing  bubbles]  I'll  keep  you  safe  until  you're  well  again. ;s1e19_16
Squidward; Oh,  I  get  it.  You  don't  know  what  day  it  is,  do  you? ;s1e19_17
SpongeBob; Uhh,  Wednesday? ;s1e19_18
Squidward; Why,  it's  Opposite  Day!  [SpongeBob  is  confused]  You  mean  you've  never  heard  of  it?  Boy,  have  you  been  missing  out!  Opposite  Day  is  the  one  day  of  the  year  when  you  get  to  act  different!  Normally  I'm  stuffy,  boring,  [frolics  around  a  little  more]  but  today  I'm  silly  and  spontaneous!  [giggles] ;s1e19_19
SpongeBob; Does  everybody  know  about  Opposite  Day? ;s1e19_20
Squidward; Oh  sure!  It's  a  game!  Get  it? ;s1e19_21
SpongeBob; Oh,  a  game. ;s1e19_22
Squidward; Yeah!  Normally,  you're  really  loud  and  annoying,  so  what  are  you  going  to  be  today? ;s1e19_23
SpongeBob; Quiet  and  out  of  the  way!  Yaaaaaay! ;s1e19_24
Squidward; Yeah!  Why  don't  you  get  a  jump  on  it. ;s1e19_25
SpongeBob; I  love...  I  mean,  I  hate  Opposite  Day.  [giggles  as  he  runs  back  into  his  pineapple]  I'm  not  ready! ;s1e19_26
Squidward; So  long,  chum.  [takes  off  his  wig]  And  goodbye,  Bikini  Bottom. ;s1e19_27
{system}; [Bubble  transitions  back  to  SpongeBob's  bedroom] ;s1e19_28
SpongeBob; [running  to  Gary]  Gary!  It's  Opposite  Day  and  I...  [stops  running]  ...walk,  don't  run.  And  I'm  gonna...  opposite...  opposite...  I'm  just  gonna  crawl  into  bed  and  do  nothing  all  day.  [crawls  into  bed]  Too  bad  it  only  comes  once  a  year,  huh,  Gary? ;s1e19_29
Gary;Meow.;s1e19_30
SpongeBob; Gary!  Where�s  your  holiday  spirit? ;s1e19_31
Gary; [barks  like  a  dog] ;s1e19_32
SpongeBob; [doorbell  rings]  Company!  I  hate  company.  [rushes  to  the  door]  Who's  there? ;s1e19_33
Patrick; It's  Patrick! ;s1e19_34
SpongeBob; Patrick...  go  away!  I  never  want  to  see  you  again!  [giggles,  but  Patrick  starts  to  cry] ;s1e19_35
Patrick; [sobbing]  SpongeBob  doesn't  like  me  anymore! ;s1e19_36
SpongeBob; [opens  the  door]  That's  right!  You're  my  worst  enemy! ;s1e19_37
{system}; [Patrick  falls  to  the  ground,  bawling] ;s1e19_38
SpongeBob; Patrick,  you're  not  really  not  my  friend.  It's  just  Opposite  Day! ;s1e19_39
Patrick; Opposite  Day?  Hey,  I've  heard  of  that! ;s1e19_40
SpongeBob; You  have? ;s1e19_41
Patrick; No!  What  is  it? ;s1e19_42
Patrick; Oh!  Let  me  try!  Let  me  try!  [holds  his  breath  and  turns  purple] ;s1e19_43
SpongeBob; Patrick!  Patrick,  breathe! ;s1e19_44
{system}; [Patrick  takes  a  deep  breath  in  and  pants] ;s1e19_45
SpongeBob; Not  that  opposite.  Let  me  show  you  how  to  do  it  the  wrong  way! ;s1e19_46
{system}; [Bubble  transitions  to  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  dance  across  the  screen  as  both  have  their  skin  color  palettes  swapped.  Gary  eats  properly  from  a  table.] ;s1e19_47
SpongeBob; [eats  from  Gary's  bowl]  Meow. ;s1e19_48
Patrick; [sitting  on  newspapers]  Meow. ;s1e19_49
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  both  blow  a  bubble,  but  they  blow  themselves  into  bubbles,  instead.  Patrick  pops] ;s1e19_50
SpongeBob; .kcirtaP  ,yeH  [forwards:  Hey,  Patrick.] ;s1e19_51
Patrick; .pu  evig  I  [forwards:  I  give  up.] ;s1e19_52
SpongeBob; !edis  etisoppo  eht  ot  teg  oT  [forwards:  To  get  to  the  opposite  side.] ;s1e19_53
{system}; [Both  laugh  in  reverse.  Bubble  transitions  back  to  SpongeBob's  front  door  of  his  house] ;s1e19_54
SpongeBob; Say,  want  to  help  me  do  some  work  around  the  house,  worst  enemy? ;s1e19_55
Patrick; Nope.  [smiles,  both  laugh] ;s1e19_56
Squidward; Nearly  noon  and  not  a  peep  from  SpongeBob!  [packing  his  belongings  into  boxes]  I'm  almost  sorry  I'm  leaving!  [laughs]  Opposite  Day.  [hears  noises  from  outside]  SpongeBob,  what  are  you...  [screams  as  he  sees  both  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  destroying  SpongeBob's  pineapple  into  a  skeleton] ;s1e19_57
SpongeBob; Hello,  Squidward!  Oops.  I  mean,  goodbye,  Squidward!  Aww,  isn't  Opposite  Day...  [giggles]  ...terrible?  [laughs] ;s1e19_58
Squidward; [seriously  angry]  I'll  tell  you  what's  terrible...  living  next  to  you!  You're  the  worst  neighbor  in  history! ;s1e19_59
SpongeBob; Wow!  That's  the  nicest  thing  Squidward  has  ever  said  to  me! ;s1e19_60
{system}; [Squidward  facepalms] ;s1e19_61
Squidward; [panicked]  If  the  real  estate  agent  sees  that  mess,  I'll  never  sell  this  house! ;s1e19_62
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  look  at  the  destroyed  pineapple] ;s1e19_63
Patrick; Isn't  it  beautiful? ;s1e19_64
SpongeBob; On  Opposite  Day  it  is. ;s1e19_65
{system}; [Squidward  drives  up  with  a  bulldozer] ;s1e19_66
Squidward; Out  of  the  way,  SpongeBob!  [pushes  the  items  on  the  ground  with  the  bulldozer  and  begins  to  rebuild  the  pineapple  house  skull] ;s1e19_67
Patrick; Hey!  I  wanna  be  opposite,  too! ;s1e19_68
Patrick; Yeah!  Finally!  Yoo-hoo!  [dances]  I'm  Squidward,  I'm  Squidward,  Squidward,  Squidward,  Squidward. ;s1e19_69
SpongeBob; Wait!  It's  not  enough  to  look  like  Squidward  to  be  opposite...  [talking  like  Squidward]  ...you  have  to  act  like  him,  too.  Boy,  oh  boy,  do  I  like  playing  the  clarinet.  I  practice  and  practice  all  day  long,  but  I  never  get  any  better.  [normal  voice  again]  Now  you  try. ;s1e19_70
Patrick; Okay.  [takes  a  deep  breath  and  continues  dancing]  I'm  Squidward,  Squidward,  Squidward,  Squidward.  [SpongeBob  dances  along  with  Patrick] ;s1e19_71
{system}; I'm  Squidward.  I'm  Squidward.  I'm  Squidward,  Squidward,  Squidward.  [they  both  dance  toward  Squidward's  house] ;s1e19_72
Patrick; Why,  thank  you,  Mr.  Squidward.  [walks  in] ;s1e19_73
SpongeBob; You're  quite  welcome,  Mr.  Squidward.  [walks  in  and  shuts  the  door] ;s1e19_74
Squidward;" [still  rebuilding  SpongeBob's  pineapple]  Oh,  Opposite  Day.  Next  time,  it's  going  to  be  ""Go  Jump  Off  A  Cliff  Day!""  [Hammers  vigorously.  As  he  is  building,  Incidental  49A  drives  up] ";s1e19_75
 Incidental  49 ; Oh  my!  The  house  is  even  more  beautiful  in  person!  [walks  up  to  the  front  door,  knocks  on  the  door.  SpongeBob  opens  it]  Hello,  Mr...  [looks  down]  Uh...  Mr.  Tentacles? ;s1e19_76
SpongeBob; [talking  like  Squidward]  Yes,  please  come  in. ;s1e19_77
 Incidental  49 ; It's  funny,  I  pictured  you  being  much  taller. ;s1e19_78
SpongeBob; [talking  like  Squidward]  Yeah,  everyone  says  that. ;s1e19_79
 Incidental  49 ; Now  if  you  want  the  sale  to  go  through,  you've  got  to  tell  me  all  the  positive  things  about  your  house. ;s1e19_80
SpongeBob; [normal  voice,  to  himself]  Positive  things!  Opposite  Day...  [talking  like  Squidward]  I'd  love  to.  The  floor  creaks,  the  roof  leaks,  there's  a  terrible  draft. ;s1e19_81
 Incidental  49 ; Uhh...  well,  you  didn't  mention  that  on  the  phone. ;s1e19_82
SpongeBob; [talking  like  Squidward]  Please,  let  me  finish.  The  winters  are  harsh,  the  summers  are  brutal.  There's  a  wild  man-eating  clam  in  the  backyard!  [Incidental  49A  looks  at  him,  shocked]  Now,  would  you  care  to  see  the  rest  of  my  home? ;s1e19_83
 Incidental  49 ; Well,  umm,  I'm  not  sure  if  I'm  interested... ;s1e19_84
SpongeBob; [talking  like  Squidward]  Nonsense!  I  won't  take  no  for  an  answer.  [laughs  like  Squidward,  then  stops]  Please  follow  me.  [both  walk  into  Squidward's  art  room]  And  here's  the  worst  room  in  the  house.  My  gallery. ;s1e19_85
 Incidental  49 ; [looks  at  a  painting  of  Squidward]  Oh  my,  this  painting  is  very  nice.  [Patrick  bursts  through  the  painting] ;s1e19_86
Patrick; Thank  you!  [immediately,  Incidental  49A  screams  and  leaps  up  to  the  ceiling,  hanging  onto  a  beam] ;s1e19_87
 Incidental  49 ; Who's  that?! ;s1e19_88
SpongeBob; [talking  like  Squidward]  I'd  like  to  introduce  you  to  Mr.  Squidward. ;s1e19_89
 Incidental  49 ; You're  both  Squidward? ;s1e19_90
SpongeBob; [talking  like  Squidward]  I'm  Squidward,  he's  Squidward. ;s1e19_91
{system}; We're  both  Squidward. ;s1e19_92
Squidward; Well,  that's  done.  At  least  SpongeBob  has  been  quiet.  [sees  Incidental  49A's  boat  and  screams]  Ahhh,  no! ;s1e19_93
{system}; [SpongeBob  plays  Squidward's  clarinet  badly  for  Incidental  49A] ;s1e19_94
 Incidental  49 ; Okay,  I  really  don't  want  to  hear  another  one. ;s1e19_95
SpongeBob; [talking  like  Squidward]  Okay.  [plays  more] ;s1e19_96
 Incidental  49 ; I  really  don't  want  to  hear  more,  thank  you. ;s1e19_97
SpongeBob; [talking  like  Squidward]  I  hear  you  loud  and  clear.  [plays  more] ;s1e19_98
Squidward; [bursts  in]  Stop!  Get  away  from  her!  Oh,  oh,  I  am  so  sorry,  ma'am,  I  hope  these  two  [turns  to  them]  barnacle  heads  [turns  back  to  Incidental  49A]  haven't  harmed  you  in  any  way. ;s1e19_99
 Incidental  49 ; Who  are  you? ;s1e19_100
Squidward; Why,  I'm  Squidward! ;s1e19_101
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  pop  up  in  the  background.  Incidental  49A's  face  slowly  turns  annoyed] ;s1e19_102
 Incidental  49 ; [angrily]  What  kind  of  fool  do  you  take  me  for?  [to  Patrick]  He's  Squidward,  [to  SpongeBob]  he's  Squidward,  you're  Squidward...  I'm  Squidward!  Are  there  any  other  Squidwards  I  should  know  about?! ;s1e19_103
Gary; [with  a  pickle  on  his  face  imitating  Squidward's  voice]  Meow. ;s1e19_104
 Incidental  49 ; [shocked  then  angry]  I'm  outta  here.  [walks  away] ;s1e19_105
Squidward; Ma'am,  please!  What  about  my  house?! ;s1e19_106
 Incidental  49 ; I  wouldn't  sell  a  house  for  you  if  you  were  the  last  Squidward  on  Earth!  [walks  out  of  the  house] ;s1e19_107
Squidward;Wait!;s1e19_108
SpongeBob; [talking  like  Squidward]  Don't... ;s1e19_109
Patrick;...Go!;s1e19_110
Squidward; [screams,  runs  out,  and  holds  onto  her  leg  and  at  the  edge  of  her  skirt,  dragging  him,  as  she  is  leaving]  No!  No!  No!  No!  No! ;s1e19_111
 Incidental  49 ; Stop!  Stop!  [she  grabs  her  skirt] ;s1e19_112
Squidward; Please,  sell  my  house! ;s1e19_113
 Incidental  49 ; [frees  her  skirt  from  his  grasp]  Never!  [gets  in  her  boat] ;s1e19_114
Squidward; Don't  leave  me  here!  [falls  to  the  ground,  sobbing.  Incidental  49A  drives  off] ;s1e19_115
{system}; [happily  walk  up  to  Squidward]  Happy  Opposite  Day,  Squidward!  We  hate  you! ;s1e19_116
{system}; [Squidward  seethes  with  fury,  then  gets  an  idea.  He  now  suddenly  smiles.] ;s1e19_117
Squidward; Let  me  show  you  guys  how  much  I...  hate  you!  [runs  off  to  get  a  bulldozer] ;s1e19_118
{system}; [Squidward  drives  up  with  the  bulldozer  chasing  SpongeBob  and  Patrick,  they  both  scream  and  run  away] ;s1e19_119
SpongeBob; [normal  voice]  Patrick,  do  you  ever  get  the  feeling  that  Squidward  likes  us  too  much?! ;s1e19_120
Squidward; [angry,  still  chasing  them]  Happy  Opposite  Day!  [chases  them  down  the  street  and  laughs  evilly  as  they  keep  running  away,  ending  the  episode] ;s1e19_121
{system}; [No  customers  are  at  the  Krusty  Krab  as  Mr.  Krabs  is  holding  a  'FREE'  sign  for  the  salad  bar,  Squidward  is  reading  a  ballet  magazine  and  imagining  his  head  on  the  dancers,  and  SpongeBob  is  wiping  dust  off  tables.] ;s1e20_1
{system}; [Closer  shot  of  Mr.  Krabs  holding  a  'FREE'  sign  for  the  salad  bar,  attempting  to  retain  his  smile.  Piece  of  paper  flies  through  the  open  door  of  the  Krusty  Krab.] ;s1e20_2
 Mr.  Krabs ; Hmm...  I  just  don't  get  it.  If  a  free  salad  bar  doesn't  bring  in  customers,  what  will?!  [Squidward  is  dancing]  Squidward! ;s1e20_3
Squidward; Uh-uh...  Yes,  sir? ;s1e20_4
 Mr.  Krabs ; There's  gonna  be  some  changes  around  here.  [Incidental  4  walks  in.  Mr.  Krabs  gasps]  A  customer!  Welcome  to  the  Krusty  Krab!  [runs  up  to  Incidental  4  with  a  chair  and  seats  him.  Brings  him  back  to  the  table]  SpongeBob,  cater  to  his  every  whim.  And  don't  screw  this  one  up. ;s1e20_5
SpongeBob; Aye  aye  sir!  Welcome  aboard,  sir!  Here  at  the  Krusty  Krab,  you  are  the  captain,  and  I  am  your  cabin  boy.  You  just  say  the  word  and  I  will  throw  myself  in  the  brig!  May  I  take  your  order? ;s1e20_6
 Incidental  4 ; All  I  wanted  was  change  for  the  payphone.  [shows  the  dollar] ;s1e20_7
 Mr.  Krabs ; Yah!  [jumps  on  it.  Later,  Mr.  Krabs  puts  the  penny  away  in  his  safe  in  his  office  and  is  with  Squidward  and  SpongeBob]  Now  as  you  may  have  noticed,  profits  are  way  down  this  month.  [pulls  down  a  chart  with  zig-zag  lines  going  down  and  his  eyes  sticking  out  on  each  side]  We've  got  to  think  of  a  gimmick  to  bring  in  customers.  [pulls  the  chart  up]  Do  you  lubbers  have  any  ideas? ;s1e20_8
SpongeBob; I've  got  one!  [takes  out  a  tray  with  a  soda  and  a  pair  of  socks  on  it]  A  free  pair  of  socks  with  every  purchase!  Or  maybe  'Double  Patty  Midnight  Madness'!  Oh,  oh,  oh,  oh,  oh,  oh!  I  know!  I  know!  I  know!  How  about  'mouth  full  of  clams'  day!  Everyone  who  shows  up  with  a  mouthful  of  clams...  [talks  with  mouth  full  of  clams]  ...gets  a  free  drink!  Huh?  Huh? ;s1e20_9
 Mr.  Krabs ; Well,  uhh,  I  was  thinkin�  more  along  the  lines  of  live  entertainment.  [Squidward  gasps] ;s1e20_10
 Mr.  Krabs ; The  money?  [Squidward  is  lying  on  the  table] ;s1e20_11
Squidward; And  I  can  see  it  now...  your  daughter  Pearl,  her  name  up  in  lights. ;s1e20_12
 Mr.  Krabs ; [Mr.  Krabs  looks  at  his  picture  of  him  and  Pearl]  Little  Pearly...  a  star? ;s1e20_13
SpongeBob; Hoppin'  clams!  A  talent  show!  I'm  talented!  I'd  better  call  my  folks!  [runs  off  as  Squidward  and  Mr.  Krabs  shake  hands] ;s1e20_14
 Mr.  Krabs ; Squidward,  you've  got  a  deal.  Make  my  little  girl  a  star!  [later,  the  restaurant  is  being  redecorated  for  the  show.  Squidward  is  writing  notes  on  a  notepad.] ;s1e20_15
SpongeBob; Hey  Squidward,  what  time  am  I  goin�  on? ;s1e20_16
Squidward; Going  on  what? ;s1e20_17
SpongeBob; The  show!  When  am  I  goin�  on  the  show?  I  have  a  great  act! ;s1e20_18
Squidward; What  talent  could  you  possibly  possess?  [SpongeBob  blows  a  big  bubble  which  turns  into  a  hippo.  Then  blows  two  small  bubbles  for  the  hat  and  cane.  Both  dance] ;s1e20_19
SpongeBob; Ta-da!  [Squidward  yawns] ;s1e20_20
Squidward; No  one,  not  even  your  parents,  would  want  to  see  that.  [hippo  bubble  pops]  What  the  people  want  is  culture,  not  dancing  bubbles. ;s1e20_21
SpongeBob; Ok,  I  get  it.  Don't  worry,  Squidward,  I'm  going  to  come  up  with  the  most  cultured  act  ever! ;s1e20_22
Squidward; I  can  hardly  wait.  [SpongeBob  runs  off]  Phew.  The  only  culture  that  guy  has  is  in  his  tennis  shoes.  [laughs]  Tennis  shoes.  I  crack  myself  up.  [bubble  transition  to  the  night  of  the  talent  show  where  people  are  outside  conducting  interviews  and  people  inside  are  talking  and  getting  set-up] ;s1e20_23
 Incidental  95 ; [Talking  in  the  background]  We  are  now  at  the  Krusty  Krab  Talent  Show  featuring  the  finest  talent  in  the  town... ;s1e20_24
SpongeBob; [peeks  out  from  behind  the  curtain]  Wow!  A  full  house!  [gasps]  There's  Mom  and  Dad!  They  are  gonna  be  so  proud!  [Mr.  Krabs  shakes  Harold  SquarePants'  hand] ;s1e20_25
 Mr.  Krabs ; Hello,  I'm  Mr.  Krabs,  and  I  like  money. ;s1e20_26
SpongeBob; I  gotta  get  ready!  [Squidward  gets  everyone's  attention] ;s1e20_27
Squidward; Alright,  people,  listen  up.  Gather  around  everyone,  chop,  chop.  [performers  gather  around]  Now,  you  may  be  thinking  this  is  your  one  shot  at  the  big  time.  Well,  it's  not.  It's  mine. ;s1e20_28
SpongeBob; Hey,  Squid!  How  about  this  for  the  show?  [runs  off  and  runs  back  with  a  tub  full  of  water  and  the  words  'Mister  Absorbency'  written  on  the  front]  The  Amazing  Mister  Absorbency!  [puts  his  finger  in  the  water  and  absorbs  it.  Absorbs  the  water  into  his  legs]  Ta-da!  [absorbs  water  into  his  head]  Ta-da! ;s1e20_29
Squidward; No  one  is  gonna  wanna  see  you  engorge  yourself. ;s1e20_30
SpongeBob; [grabs  Squidward's  legs]  Please,  Squidward,  let  me  be  in  the  show!  I'll  do  anything!  Anything!  Anything! ;s1e20_31
Squidward; So  you  really  wanna  be  in  the  show? ;s1e20_32
SpongeBob; Oh,  yes! ;s1e20_33
Squidward; Okay,  you  get  to  mop  up  afterwards.  [hands  SpongeBob  a  mop]  Now  will  you  stop  bugging  me?  [walks  off] ;s1e20_34
SpongeBob; So,  this  is  what  it  feels  like...  the  big  time!  With  this  mop,  I  shape  my  destiny!  [show  starts  and  crowd  applauds.  Squidward  comes  out  and  gets  the  cue  cards  that  are  in  his  tuxedo] ;s1e20_35
Squidward; Good  evening  and  welcome  to  the  1st  annual  Squidward  Tentacles  Talent  Show.  Sponsored  by  the  Krusty  Krab,  home  of  the  Krabby  Patty,  because  no  one  else  would  give  it  a  home.  [Patrick  laughs]  Thank  you.  Our  next  act  is  living  proof  that  nepotism  is  alive  and  well.  [Patrick  laughs  again]  Put  your  fins  together  for...  [Patrick  cracks  up  laughing  very  hard.  Bashes  on  the  table  with  laughter,  shaking  dinnerware.  He  falls  off  his  chair]  Put  your...  [Patrick  laughs]  Put...  [Patrick  laughs]  Pearl.  [crowd  claps  as  curtain  rises  for  Pearl,  dressed  in  cheerleader  uniform] ;s1e20_36
 Mr.  Krabs ; Hooray!  My  little  girl  is  finally  a  star. ;s1e20_37
Pearl; Give  me  a  K-R-U!  [jumps  up  and  down  on  the  stage  causing  the  crowd  to  fly  up  and  down  with  her]  Give  me  a  S-T-Y!  [jumps  up  and  down  again]  Krusty  Krab!  [jumps  up  and  down]  Krusty  Krab!  [jumps  up  and  down]  Krusty  Krab!  [jumps  up  and  down] ;s1e20_38
 Mr.  Krabs ; [He,  Patrick,  and  SpongeBob's  parents  get  tossed  up  and  down.  Mr.  Krabs  appears  happy.]  Now  that's  what  I  call  talent!  [Krusty  Krab  floor  is  destroyed] ;s1e20_39
Pearl; Thank  you! ;s1e20_40
Fred; My  leg!  Ugh! ;s1e20_41
Squidward; [screams  in  shock] ;s1e20_42
SpongeBob; Hey  Squidward,  listen.  What  do  you  think?  When  I  mop,  should  I  go  forward  and  back?  No,  no  wait,  side  to  side.  [Squidward  lets  the  rope  go  and  sends  SpongeBob  flying  up.  Then  he  walks  back  out  on  the  stage] ;s1e20_43
Squidward; And  now,  poetry.  [walks  backstage  but  peeks  his  head  through  the  curtain]  By  Gary.  [curtain  opens.  Gary  is  on  a  stool] ;s1e20_44
Gary; [clears  throat]  Meow.  Meow.  Meow.  Meow.  Meow.  Meow. ;s1e20_45
Sandy; [with  awe]  Oh,  he  has  such  a  way  with  words. ;s1e20_46
Squidward; [checks  his  watch]  Come  on,  come  on,  Ginsburg,  if  he  doesn't  hurry  it  up,  we're  not  gonna  have  time  for  the  best  act...  me!  [SpongeBob  walks  up] ;s1e20_47
SpongeBob; Squidward,  should  I  use  Mr.  Cleanser  or  Dr.  Clean? ;s1e20_48
Squidward; Yes.  [audience  applauds  as  curtain  opens,  revealing  Plankton  in  a  magician  costume  and  a  sign  that  says  'The  Amazing  Plankton!'] ;s1e20_49
Plankton; I,  the  amazing  Plankton,  with  the  use  of  prestidigitation...  [turns  his  wand  into  flowers]  ...will  make  a  Krabby  Patty  disappear  before  your  very  eyes.  [throws  the  flowers  aside]  First,  I'll  need  a  volunteer  from  the  audience.  [jumps  onto  a  table  and  grabs  the  Krabby  Patty  from  the  Touppe  fish.  Runs  toward  the  door,  but  Krabs  stops  Plankton] ;s1e20_50
 Mr.  Krabs ; Nice  try.  Your  act's  over,  bub.  [grabs  the  patty] ;s1e20_51
Plankton; You  may  win  this  time.  Shi-ya  Ka-zing!  [he  claps  his  hands  and  ignites  into  a  mini-explosion.  The  smoke  from  the  explosion  clears  and  he  is  completely  charred]  Well,  this  stinks.  [he  walks  off  to  the  Chum  Bucket  and  is  booed.  Mr.  Krabs  runs  up  to  Squidward  backstage,  leaving  a  trail  of  flames] ;s1e20_52
 Mr.  Krabs ; Squidward!  [Literally  races  towards  him,  like  an  over  speeding  race  car]  This  show  is  a  disaster!  You're  ruinin�  me! ;s1e20_53
Squidward; Now,  now,  don't  you  worry,  Mr.  Krabs.  I've  saved  the  best  for  last,  you'll  see. ;s1e20_54
 Mr.  Krabs ; For  your  sake,  I  hope  you're  right.  [bunch  of  spot  lights  gleam  around  Krusty  Krab] ;s1e20_55
Squidward; And  now,  ladies  and  gentlemen,  the  moment  you've  all  been  waiting  for.  We've  saved  the  best  for  last.  Put  your  hands  together  for...  [all  streamers,  confetti  and  purple,  pink  and  blue  balloons  fall  everywhere]  the  incomparable  Squidward!  ['Squidward  Live'  words  blink  in  pink  and  green  lights  as  the  crowd  applauds.  Curtain  opens  and  the  background  shows  a  canyon.  Squidward  dances  with  birds,  accompanied  by  classical  music.  Then,  the  lights  go  dark  and  music  becomes  techno  as  Squidward  dances  weirdly.  Makes  weird  noises  as  he  dances  after  the  first  part  of  his  dance.] ;s1e20_56
 Incidental  4 ; What  the...?! ;s1e20_57
{system}; [Squidward  continues  to  make  weird  noises  and  dance  weirdly.  Crowd  is  booing  and  they  throw  tomatoes  at  Squidward] ;s1e20_58
 Mr.  Krabs ; I'm  losin�  money  on  this  deal!  [puts  a  $1.00  sticker  over  the  free  sign  on  the  salad  bar.  Grins.] ;s1e20_59
Fred; It's  worth  every  penny.  [everyone  runs  up  to  Mr.  Krabs  with  dollar  bills  in  hand] ;s1e20_60
Squidward; You  bottom  feeders!  You  don't  even  know  talent! ;s1e20_61
Crowd; No  talent!  No  talent!  No  talent!  No  talent!  [curtain  closes  as  Squidward  leaves  in  frustration  and  anger] ;s1e20_62
SpongeBob; Hey,  Squidward,  can  I  go  on  now? ;s1e20_63
Squidward; Yeah,  show's  over!  [crown  continues  booing  as  SpongeBob  walks  out  and  mops  up  the  tomatoes.  Crowd  gets  interested  in  this  and  applauds  at  him] ;s1e20_64
Crowd; Hey,  yeah.  That's  really  not  bad.  I  like  that.  Alright!  [SpongeBob  briefly  stops  mopping  and  the  crowd  becomes  silent.  He  then  starts  mopping  faster  getting  even  more  applause.  He  then  leaves  stage  right  and  the  applause  stops.  He  peeks  from  where  he  left  and  mops  the  floor  while  leaving  stage  left  which  starts  the  applause  again.  He  waves  goodbye  to  the  crowd]  We  want  more!  We  want  more!  We  want  more!  We  want� ;s1e20_65
Squidward; They  want  an  encore!  [pushes  SpongeBob  away]  Stand  aside,  SpongeBob!  [Squidward  jumps  out  and  the  crowd  grows  silent.  He  goes  backstage  and  SpongeBob  comes  back  out  mopping  and  crowd  cheers  again.  SpongeBob  leaves  stage  left  as  Squidward  jumps  out  again  and  the  crowd  instantly  becomes  silent  again.  Squidward  is  angry.] ;s1e20_66
{system}; [SpongeBob's  arm  gets  a  cheer,  but  Squidward's  does  not.  SpongeBob's  leg  is  shown  then  curtain  rises  and  SpongeBob  is  mopping.  Curtain  closes  then  opens  to  reveal  Squidward  mopping  and  the  crowd  goes  silent.] ;s1e20_67
 Mr.  Krabs ; You  did  it,  Squidward!  What  a  great  show! ;s1e20_68
 Mrs.  SquarePants ; Oh,  my  son's  a  star! ;s1e20_69
 Mr.  SquarePants ; Who  ever  knew  he  had  such  talent? ;s1e20_70
 Mr.  Krabs ; I'll  be  needin�  another  wheelbarrow  for  next  week's  show!  [crowd  throws  flowers  at  SpongeBob] ;s1e20_71
 French  Narrator ; Ahh,  lunchtime  at  the  Krusty  Krab.  Everyone  is  enjoying  their  Krabby  Patties.  [lights  go  off  and  sirens  and  red  lights  blare  as  everyone  in  the  Krusty  Krab  screams  and  runs  for  cover]  Huh?!  What's  this?  [doors  and  windows  are  now  metal] ;s1e21_1
 Mr.  Krabs ; Can  you  spot  him,  Mr.  Squidward? ;s1e21_2
Squidward; [up  in  a  crows  nest  with  a  telescope]  Down  there,  sir!  [a  Krabby  Patty  is  bouncing  to  the  door] ;s1e21_3
 French  Narrator ; [gasps]  There  appears  to  be  a  Krabby  Patty  napping  in  progress!  [Krabby  Patty  shoots  a  laser  hole  big  enough  for  it  to  go  through  at  the  door]  There  can  only  be  one  culprit:  Plankton! ;s1e21_4
Plankton; Finally,  victory  is  mine!  I  win,  I  win,  I  win!  [laughs] ;s1e21_5
Squidward; He  got  away,  sir. ;s1e21_6
 Mr.  Krabs ; [devastated]  No!  He's  finally  stolen  me  secret  recipe! ;s1e21_7
 French  Narrator ; Perhaps  not,  Monsieur  Krabs,  for  it's...  [SpongeBob  tears  himself  into  another  SpongeBob  and  flies  off]  ...SpongeBob  SquarePants!  [later,  SpongeBob  peeks  out  through  under  the  sewer  with  binoculars  in  his  hand.  Catches  a  peek  at  a  Krabby  Patty  jumping  through  the  crowd] ;s1e21_8
Cowboy; Yeehaw!  [Plankton  walks  into  a  magic  shop  and  comes  back  out  with  funny  glasses  on] ;s1e21_9
SpongeBob;" Have  you  seen  a  Krabby  Patty?  It's  about  this  tall  and...  [looks  up  and  reads  the  sign  MAGIC  SHOP]  Wow,  a  magic  shop!  Are  you  a  magician?  One  time,  I  saw  this  magician  and  he  did  this  thing...anyway,  and  then  he  told  us,  ""If  you  believe  in  yourself  and  with  a  tiny  pinch  of  magic,  all  of  your  dreams  can  come  true.""  [Plankton  takes  away  Krabby  Patty] ";s1e21_10
Plankton; Argh!  I  can't  take  it! ;s1e21_11
Plankton; Yes!  And  after  all  these  years,  I  thought  I  was  the  master  of  torture.  But  that...  that  just  wasn't  fair!  Here!  Take  the  stupid  patty,  I  don't  want  the  secret  recipe  anyway.  I  guess  my  restaurant  will  never  be  as  good  as  the  Krusty  Krab.  You  don't  know  what  it's  like  to  be  a  loser.  [cries] ;s1e21_12
SpongeBob; Aww,  cheer  up,  Plankton.  I  think  you're  a  winner. ;s1e21_13
Plankton; [stops  crying]  Wh-what  did  you  say? ;s1e21_14
SpongeBob; I  said,  you're  a--  [a  bunch  of  people  run  up  and  point  at  Plankton] ;s1e21_15
All; Loser!  [Plankton  jumps  away  from  group  and  walks  back  to  his  restaurant] ;s1e21_16
Squidward; How  does  it  feel  to  be  the  most  hated  thing  in  Bikini  Bottom,  Plankton?!  It  hurts,  doesn't  it?!  I  know! ;s1e21_17
 Incidental  118 ; Yeah,  and  for  running  you  out,  we're  going  to  make  this  kid  honorary  town  rookie  of  the  day.  [puts  a  big  donut  with  a  ribbon  on  it  around  SpongeBob] ;s1e21_18
All; For  he's  a  jolly  good  rookie,  for  he's  a  jolly  good  rookie,  for  he's  a  jolly  good  rookie... ;s1e21_19
{system}; [Everyone  throws  SpongeBob  into  the  air.] ;s1e21_20
SpongeBob; [thinking  to  himself]  I'll  bet  if  he  had  just  one  friend,  he  wouldn't  be  such  a  meanie. ;s1e21_21
All; [as  SpongeBob  comes  down,  they  stop  singing]  Which  no...  whatever.  [everyone  walks  away.  Later,  Plankton  hears  a  knock  on  his  door  at  his  restaurant] ;s1e21_22
Plankton; A  customer?!  [opens  door]  Our  special  today  is  chum...  [sees  SpongeBob  at  the  door]  ...balaya. ;s1e21_23
SpongeBob; Hi,  Mr.  Plankton. ;s1e21_24
Plankton; Haven't  you  degraded  me  enough  for  one  day? ;s1e21_25
SpongeBob; No.  I  mean...I  want  you  to  come  out  and  play  with  me. ;s1e21_26
Plankton;What?;s1e21_27
SpongeBob; Play  with  me. ;s1e21_28
Plankton; You  know  how  to  induce  thermonuclear  fusion? ;s1e21_29
SpongeBob; No,  but  I  like  to  go  jelly...  [Plankton  closes  the  door] ;s1e21_30
Karen; You're  not  letting  him  leave,  are  you?  Can't  you  see?  This  is  the  perfect  opportunity  for  revenge! ;s1e21_31
Plankton; Elaborate.  [computer  shows  images  of  a  Krabby  Patty  and  SpongeBob] ;s1e21_32
Karen; Befriend  the  SpongeBob,  then  when  the  time  is  just  right,  take  the  Krabby  Patty! ;s1e21_33
Plankton; Take  the  Krabby  Patty?  [runs  back  to  the  door] ;s1e21_34
Karen; Get  moving,  genius,  don't  let  him  get  away. ;s1e21_35
SpongeBob; [Plankton  opens  the  door]  ...fishing  with  my  friends  at  Jellyfish  Fields. ;s1e21_36
Plankton; Alright,  SpongeBob,  I'll  play  your  little  game. ;s1e21_37
SpongeBob; Great!  [SpongeBob  grabs  Plankton  and  runs  off]  Last  one  to  the  fields  is  a  rotten  clam!  [now  at  Jellyfish  Fields]  So,  I  get  the  big  net  and  you  get  the  little  net.  [hands  Plankton  a  net  bigger  than  him] ;s1e21_38
Plankton; What  happens  after  we  eat  'em? ;s1e21_39
SpongeBob; You  don't  eat  'em,  you  catch  'em,  like  this!  [captures  a  jellyfish]  Like  that. ;s1e21_40
Plankton;And?;s1e21_41
Plankton; Stingers?!  [Plankton  imagines  ruling  Bikini  Bottom  with  a  jellyfish  that  only  he  controls]  All  knees  will  bow  to  Plankton!  Hail,  Plankton!  I  win,  I  win!  [end  of  fantasy  while  laughing] ;s1e21_42
SpongeBob; It's  not  about  winning,  it's  about  fun! ;s1e21_43
Plankton; What's  that? ;s1e21_44
SpongeBob; Fun  is  when  you...  fun  is...  it's  like...  it's  kinda...  sorta  like  a... ;s1e21_45
SpongeBob; What  is  fun?  Let  me  spell  it  for  you.  F  is  for  friends  who  do  stuff  together,  U  is  for  you  and  me,  N  is  for  anywhere,  anytime  at  all! ;s1e21_46
Clams; Down  here  in  the  deep  blue  sea.   ;s1e21_47
Plankton; F  is  for  fire  that  burns  down  the  whole  town,  U  is  for  uranium...  bombs!  N  is  for  no  survivors,  when  you- ;s1e21_48
SpongeBob; Plankton!  Those  things  aren't  what  fun  is  all  about.  Now,  do  it  like  this:  F  is  for  friends  who  do  stuff  to- ;s1e21_49
Plankton; Never!  That's  completely  idiotic! ;s1e21_50
SpongeBob; Here,  let  me  help  you.  F  is  for  friends  who  do  stuff  together,  U  is  for  you  and  me.  Try  it! ;s1e21_51
Plankton; N  is  for  anywhere,  anytime  at  all! ;s1e21_52
Clams; Down  here  in  the  deep  blue  sea! ;s1e21_53
Plankton; Wait,  I  don't  understand  this,  I  feel  all  tingly  inside.  Should  we  stop? ;s1e21_54
SpongeBob; No!  That's  how  you're  suppose  to  feel! ;s1e21_55
Plankton; Well,  I  like  it.  Let's  do  it  again! ;s1e21_56
SpongeBob;Okay!;s1e21_57
{system}; F  is  for  frolic  through  all  the  flowers,  U  is  for  ukulele.  N  is  nose-picking,  sharing  gum,  and  sand-licking,  here  with  my  best  buddy.  Hahahahahahahaha! ;s1e21_58
{system}; [At  the  Krusty  Krab,  Mr.  Krabs  is  looking  through  a  telescope  at  SpongeBob  and  Plankton] ;s1e21_59
 Mr.  Krabs ; Arrgh,  mutiny. ;s1e21_60
{system}; [At  the  Chum  Bucket  at  night,  Plankton  is  changing  clothes.] ;s1e21_61
Plankton; And  after  that,  we  frolicked  through  the  flowers,  and  then  we... ;s1e21_62
Karen; Sounds  like  fun. ;s1e21_63
Plankton; Well,  the  really  fun  part  was  when  we... ;s1e21_64
Karen; What  did  you  do  with  the  Krabby  Patty? ;s1e21_65
Plankton; The  what?  [shows  a  Krabby  Patty  on  Karen's  computer  screen] ;s1e21_66
Plankton; You  can't  rush  these  things,  you  know. ;s1e21_67
Plankton; What  are  you  talking  about? ;s1e21_68
Karen; You're  going  native,  Plankton,  look  at  yourself!  [metal  arm  picks  up  Plankton  and  shows  him  wearing  square  pants  like  SpongeBob's] ;s1e21_69
Plankton;What?;s1e21_70
{system}; [cuts  to  Krusty  Krab] ;s1e21_71
SpongeBob; Who  knows?  Maybe  he's  changed. ;s1e21_72
 Mr.  Krabs ; Who  knows?  I  think  you  knows!  [shows  a  picture  of  him  and  Plankton  holding  up  the  letters  for  FUN] ;s1e21_73
SpongeBob; He's  changed,  I  tell  you!  [Plankton  enters] ;s1e21_74
Plankton; SpongeBuddy!  Yoo-hoo!  [SpongeBob  runs  over  to  Plankton] ;s1e21_75
SpongeBob; Plankton-buddy!  Let's  go!  I  forgot  this  is  a  no  friend  zone! ;s1e21_76
 Mr.  Krabs ; SpongeBob,  may  I  speak  to  you  in  private.  [talking  to  Plankton]  You  won't  mind  if  I  set  this  here,  will  you?  [puts  a  plate  with  a  Krabby  Patty  on  the  table  and  pushes  it  toward  him] ;s1e21_77
SpongeBob; What's  this  all  about,  Mr.  Krabs? ;s1e21_78
 Mr.  Krabs ; He's  a  thief.  Look  at  the  lust  in  his  eye,  he's... ;s1e21_79
SpongeBob; Why  can't  you  just  accept  our  friendship? ;s1e21_80
 Mr.  Krabs ; He's  just  after  me  recipe.  I'll  prove  it  to  you.  [walks  up  to  Plankton]  Ah,  you  must  be  hungry  after  that  long  walk  over  here. ;s1e21_81
Plankton; Oh,  yes,  but  I'm  saving  my  appetite  for  some  popcorn  at  the  movies. ;s1e21_82
 Mr.  Krabs ; Uhh...  suit  yourself.  [walks  off  then  comes  back  to  push  the  plate  closer  to  Plankton.  Uses  a  fan  to  get  the  smell  to  Plankton] ;s1e21_83
SpongeBob; We've  had  enough  of  your  little  tests,  Mr.  Krabs!  [turns  the  fan  off]  Come  on,  Plankton,  let's  get  out  of  here.  [both  walk  away] ;s1e21_84
 Mr.  Krabs ; Maybe  the  lad  was  right.  Maybe  Plankton's  gone  straight...  [plate  falls  down  revealing  that  it  was  cardboard]  And  maybe  scallops  will  fly  out  of  my  pants!  [takes  the  boat  and  paddles  to  'The  Reef']  Hang  on  there,  laddie,  I'm  a-comin! ;s1e21_85
{system}; [At  'The  Reef'  movie  theater,  SpongeBob  and  Plankton  are  sitting  in  the  front  row.  SpongeBob  is  giving  popcorn  to  Plankton  as  he  is  eating  some  himself.  Then  Bubble  Bass  comes  down  and  sits  on  Plankton,  squishing  him] ;s1e21_86
SpongeBob; I  sure  like  sequels,  Plankton.  [sees  Bubble  Bass  in  his  spot]  Hey,  Bubble  Bass,  you're  sitting  on  my  friend. ;s1e21_87
{system}; [Bubble  Bass  meanly  smiles  and  gets  comfortable  in  his  seat,  and  a  squelching  sound  comes  from  Plankton  being  squashed  by  his  butt] ;s1e21_88
SpongeBob; Hey,  Bubble  Bass!  [throws  some  popcorn  and  Bubble  Bass  runs  after  it] ;s1e21_89
Plankton; Thanks  for  that,  friend. ;s1e21_90
SpongeBob; Sure  thing. ;s1e21_91
 Mr.  Krabs ; Listen  up!  [Mr.  Krabs'  shadow  is  on  the  movie  screen.  He  clicks  his  claws.] ;s1e21_92
SpongeBob; Mr.  Krabs?  [in  the  projector  room] ;s1e21_93
 Mr.  Krabs ; He's  deceivin'  ya!  Reach  into  his  pocket  now,  and  take  what  he's  got! ;s1e21_94
{system}; [Everyone  in  the  theater  steals  an  item  from  the  pocket  of  whoever  is  sitting  next  to  them] ;s1e21_95
 Mr.  Krabs ; You  too,  boy! ;s1e21_96
{system}; [SpongeBob  reaches  into  Plankton's  pocket  and  takes  out  a  Krabby  Patty] ;s1e21_97
SpongeBob; [gasps]  I  can't  believe  this! ;s1e21_98
Plankton; It's  not  what  you  think. ;s1e21_99
SpongeBob; What  is  it  then?  Tell  me  what  you  see  here! ;s1e21_100
Plankton; I...  I  don't  see  anything. ;s1e21_101
SpongeBob; [starting  to  cry]  How  can  you  not  see  it!?  [groans] ;s1e21_102
Plankton; [beginning  to  tear  up  as  well]  Okay,  okay,  I  see  it!  It's  a  Krabby  Patty,  okay?  I  couldn't  help  it. ;s1e21_103
SpongeBob; But  we  sang  the  F.U.N.  Song!  [clutches  his  stomach]  I  think  I'm  gonna  be  sick.  How  long? ;s1e21_104
Plankton; How  long  what? ;s1e21_105
SpongeBob; [grabs  Plankton,  holding  him  in  his  fist]  How  long  were  you  planning  on  doing  this?!  [tears  well  up  in  SpongeBob's  eyes]  Tell  me! ;s1e21_106
{system}; [Plankton  puts  his  head  down  and  begins  to  sob.] ;s1e21_107
SpongeBob; [the  tears  now  dripping  down  his  face]  What?! ;s1e21_108
Plankton; [looks  up  at  SpongeBob]  All  right,  it's  true!  I  tricked  you  to  get  the  Krabby  Patty!  But  then  you  showed  me  friendship!  [the  two  look  each  other  in  the  eyes]  And  now  I  realize...  that's  all  I  ever  really  wanted. ;s1e21_109
SpongeBob; [sniffs,  then  smiles,  beginning  to  stop  crying]  Really? ;s1e21_110
Plankton; [Plankton  grabs  the  patty  and  jumps  towards  the  screen]  No,  not  really.  Being  evil  is  too  much  fun!  [laughs  evilly] ;s1e21_111
MovieWoman; Oh,  darling,  I  knew  nothing  would  ever  tear  us  apart. ;s1e21_112
{system}; [Plankton,  who  is  running  away,  rips  through  the  movie  screen] ;s1e21_113
SpongeBob; Mr.  Krabs,  he's  gone.  He  got  the  patty.  He  won. ;s1e21_114
 Mr.  Krabs ; Ho-ho,  no  he  didn't,  boy!  Don't  you  know  what�s  behind  these  screens?  [reveals  the  fabric,  showing  the  Krabby  Patty  squished  onto  a  concrete  wall]  Solid  concrete!  [laughs] ;s1e21_115
{system}; [The  Krabby  Patty  falls  off,  revealing  that  Plankton  is  squished  on  the  concrete  wall.  Plankton  groans.  Mr.  Krabs  takes  the  Krabby  Patty.] ;s1e21_116
SpongeBob; I'm  sorry,  Mr.  Krabs.  I  thought  Plankton  had  changed. ;s1e21_117
 Mr.  Krabs ; Don't  blame  him,  lad.  No  friendship  could  withstand  the  allure  of  a  Krabby  Patty!  Now  let's  go  back  to  the  Krusty  Krab  and  have  a  fresh  one  on  me! ;s1e21_118
SpongeBob; Aye,  aye,  Mr.  Krabs! ;s1e21_119
 Mr.  Krabs ; Well,  maybe  on  a  discount.  [Mr.  Krabs  flicks  Plankton  off  the  wall  and  onto  Bubble  Bass'  jelly  beans] ;s1e21_120
Plankton;Huh?;s1e21_121
{system}; [Plankton  runs  around  Bubble  Bass'  hand  getting  chased  by  his  other  hand,  being  mistaken  for  a  jelly  bean.  Plankton  screams.] ;s1e21_122
{system}; [In  SpongeBob's  house,  he  is  looking  at  himself  in  the  mirror  trying  to  look  strong.] ;s1e22_1
SpongeBob; It's  time  to  grow  myself  large  and  wide. ;s1e22_2
{system}; [He  grows  himself  large  and  wide  as  he  is  saying  it.  He  walks  over  to  his  weight,  which  is  a  pink  bunny  and  a  blue  bear,  and  has  trouble  lifting  it,  but  manages  to  get  it  over  his  head  anyway.  The  doorbell  rings  and  SpongeBob  opens  the  door.] ;s1e22_3
Sandy; Howdy,  SpongeBob.  How's  it  goin'? ;s1e22_4
SpongeBob; Not  too  close,  Sandy.  I  tend  to  get  smelly  when  I'm  pumping  iron.  Check  it  out.  [shows  off  his  muscles,  but  is  still  a  weakling] ;s1e22_5
Sandy; Well,  you're  smelly. ;s1e22_6
SpongeBob; All  thanks  to  my  state-of-the-art  work  set.  [shows  all  sorts  of  stuffed  animals] ;s1e22_7
Sandy; Uhh...  I  don't  wanna  disappoint  you,  SpongeBob,  but  you  won't  see  any  progress  with  those. ;s1e22_8
Sandy; That  is,  if  you  want  arms  like  these.  [rolls  up  her  right  sleeve,  and  flexes  her  right  arm,  showing  off  a  big,  impressive  bicep]  Or  these!  [rolls  up  her  other  sleeve  and  flexes  her  left  arm,  revealing  her  other  bicep]  Or  these!  [shows  off  her  powerful  back  muscles  while  executing  a  back  double  bicep  flex.  SpongeBob's  arm  wiggles  in  the  air] ;s1e22_9
SpongeBob; Well,  uhh,  maybe  I  could  use  a  little  help. ;s1e22_10
Sandy; Well,  if  you  want  arms  like  mine,  you  just  gotta  follow  my  training  program. ;s1e22_11
Sandy; Be  at  my  place  at  5  a.m.  Oh!  And  you'll  need  a  water  helmet.  [puts  a  fish  bowl  on  his  head.  Bubble  transition  to  Sandy's  tree  dome,  where  SpongeBob  is  trying  to  do  push-ups]  Come  on,  SpongeBob,  it's  only  push-ups!  Come  on.  Come  on!  You  can  do  it!  [SpongeBob  is  grunting  at  this  point  determined  to  get  a  push-up.  His  body  cracks  and  falls  down  while  his  arms  stay  up] ;s1e22_12
SpongeBob; One.  [acorn  bell  dings] ;s1e22_13
Sandy; [in  a  boxing  ring  with  gloves  on]  Alright,  put  'em  up! ;s1e22_14
SpongeBob; [struggles  getting  his  gloves  up]  They're  up. ;s1e22_15
Sandy; Ding  ding!  [punches  SpongeBob  out  of  the  ring.  Later,  Sandy  starts  up  her  exercise  wheel  with  SpongeBob  on  it.  SpongeBob  pants  while  the  wheel  goes  faster  and  makes  him  trip  all  over  the  wheel]  Feeling  the  burn? ;s1e22_16
SpongeBob; I'm-fee-ling-some-thing!  [launches  out  of  the  wheel  and  into  the  tree  dome  glass] ;s1e22_17
Sandy; Well,  now  that  we've  got  warmed  up,  it's  time  for  the  arm-cruncher. ;s1e22_18
SpongeBob; Arm-cruncher,  great.  [looks  over  and  sees  two  cement  blocks  slamming  into  the  cement  pedestal]  This  squirrel's  trying  to  kill  me! ;s1e22_19
Sandy; [walks  up  to  the  arm-cruncher  with  phone  in  hand]  This  is  it. ;s1e22_20
SpongeBob; Hey,  that's  great,  Sandy.  Well,  I  sure  had  fun,  we'll  have  to  do  it  again  sometime,  bye.  [hangs  up]  This  working-out  thing  isn't  working  out.  [his  arms  bulge  in  and  out]  Ow.  Ow.  Ow. ;s1e22_21
TV;" Hey,  you!  Wimpy,  wimpy,  wimpy!  ""Oh,  I'm  a  little  peanut  worm.""  Are  you  too  much  of  a  wimp  to  work  out?  Are  you  a  weakling  built  like  a  sponge?  Well,  now  you  too  can  have  muscles. ";s1e22_22
SpongeBob;Huh?;s1e22_23
TV; With  Anchor  Arms!  [puts  a  long  pink  blow-up  item  on  his  arm]  They  slip  on  like  a  glove.  Just  add  air.  [puts  a  plug  in  the  arm's  hole  and  pumps  air  into  it]  How  big  do  you  want  'em?  [pumps  air  into  the  other  arm]  Normal?  [puts  more  air  into  the  arm]  Veiny?  And  for  the  ladies...  [puts  air  into  the  arm  which  makes  it  grow  hair]  ...hairy.  [SpongeBob  whistles  as  the  TV  puts  up  an  image  of  a  weak  shark]  I  was  a  wimp  before  Anchor  Arms.  Now,  I'm  a  jerk  and  everybody  loves  me.  So  order  now,  wimp! ;s1e22_24
SpongeBob; Wow,  now  that's  a  good  idea! ;s1e22_25
Gary;Meow.;s1e22_26
SpongeBob; I  wanna  be  just  like  him.  Yeah,  I've  gotta  get  to  a  phone!  [later,  a  big  shadow  of  SpongeBob  is  walking  down  the  road  past  Squidward,  who  is  sitting  in  a  chair  licking  a  popsicle]  Hi,  Squidward! ;s1e22_27
Squidward; [with  his  tongue  stuck  to  the  popsicle  while  looking  up]  SpongeBob? ;s1e22_28
{system}; [Cuts  to  Mr.  Krabs  sweeping  the  outside  of  the  Krusty  Krab.] ;s1e22_29
 Mr.  Krabs ; [looks  up]  Huh? ;s1e22_30
SpongeBob; Ahoy,  Mr.  Krabs! ;s1e22_31
 Mr.  Krabs ; Mother  of  pearl!  [hides  in  the  Krusty  Krab.  Cuts  to  Mussel  Beach  where  everyone  is  lifting  weights.  SpongeBob  comes  in  and  makes  Incidental  24C  drop  a  big  weight  on  Incidental  24B  and  Incidental  24Q's  feet] ;s1e22_32
SpongeBob; Hi,  guys.  [shows  off  his  new  muscles] ;s1e22_33
Larry; SpongeBob,  is  that  you? ;s1e22_34
SpongeBob; [walking  on  his  hands]  Who  were  you  expecting,  Tiny  Tim?  Wait...  wait...  [flexes  his  muscles]  They're  big,  aren't  they? ;s1e22_35
Larry; Dude,  you're  ripped! ;s1e22_36
SpongeBob; [flexes  out  the  words]  Thank...You.  I've  been  working  out.  Excuse  me  a  second.  [flexes  more]  Yeah.  Anyone  up  for  the...  [flexes  his  muscles  into  drinks]  ...juice  bar?  [bubble  transition  to  outside  of  the  juice  bar] ;s1e22_37
Scooter; [to  Incidental  18]  I'm  tellin'  ya,  he's  huge! ;s1e22_38
Sandy; [walks  up  to  them]  Have  you  guys  seen  SpongeBob  anywhere? ;s1e22_39
Scooter; You  mean  'MuscleBob  BuffPants'?  He's  in  there!  [points  to  the  inside  of  the  juice  bar] ;s1e22_40
Sandy; Uhh,  whatever.  Thanks.  [walks  to  the  juice  bar] ;s1e22_41
Sandy; Pardon  me. ;s1e22_42
SpongeBob; Working  out  is  my  life!  I  remember  when  I  used  to  look  like  that  guy  over  there.  [points  to  Incidental  35] ;s1e22_43
 Incidental  35 ; Who  me?  [everyone  laughs] ;s1e22_44
SpongeBob; I  remember  when  I  used  to  look  like  you,  too.  [points  to  Larry  and  laughs]  But,  that  was  a  long  time  ago. ;s1e22_45
 Incidental  6 ; Here's  your  drink,  sir. ;s1e22_46
SpongeBob; Thank  you.  [tries  to  lift  up  his  drink  but  can't  so  he  stretches  his  mouth  out  to  the  straw  and  drinks]  Yeah... ;s1e22_47
Sandy; SpongeBob?  Wha-where'd  you  get  those  muscles? ;s1e22_48
SpongeBob; I've  created  my  own  workout  routine  that's  given  me  amazing  results.  [his  anchor  arm  almost  slips  off]  Whoops!  Yeah,  I  have  never  felt  better. ;s1e22_49
Sandy; Heck,  what's  your  secret? ;s1e22_50
SpongeBob;What?;s1e22_51
Sandy; Your  secret  workout.  What  is  it?  [everyone  wants  to  know  and  looks  over  at  SpongeBob.  SpongeBob  thinks  of  something  nervously  and  quickly] ;s1e22_52
SpongeBob; Hmmm,  well...  I,  uhh...  first  I  take  my  hand  and  I  do  this...  [makes  armpit  noises] ;s1e22_53
Larry; Are  you  kidding? ;s1e22_54
SpongeBob; Do  these  muscles  lie?  [flexes  his  muscles  into  a  shape  of  a  sponge.  Everyone  starts  making  armpit  noises] ;s1e22_55
Sandy; I'm  glad  to  see  you  found  an  exercise  program  that  works  for  you. ;s1e22_56
SpongeBob; Yeah,  your  workout  routine  wasn't  quite  tough  enough  for  me. ;s1e22_57
Sandy; Can't  argue  with  those  results.  What  you  need  to  do  now  is  put  those  muscles  to  the  test. ;s1e22_58
SpongeBob; Uhh,  what  do  you  mean? ;s1e22_59
Sandy; The  big  Mussel  Beach  anchor  tossing  competition.  It's  today!  Everybody'll  be  there! ;s1e22_60
 Incidental  6 ; Here's  your  drink.  [sets  the  drink  on  SpongeBob's  anchor-arm  hand  and  it  sinks  down] ;s1e22_61
Sandy; Hey,  with  those  arms,  you'll  do  great! ;s1e22_62
SpongeBob; Uhh,  well,  I'm  not  sure. ;s1e22_63
Sandy; C'mon,  let's  go. ;s1e22_64
SpongeBob; Right  now?  Wait,  uhh,  wait,  Sandy.  I  don't  think  it's  such  a...  [tries  to  run  away  but  the  drink  is  holding  him  back.  He  tries  lifting  the  drink  but  is  unsuccessful]  Sandy,  wait! ;s1e22_65
Sandy; Here  it  is--  the  sign-in  list. ;s1e22_66
Sandy; [signs  her  name  on  a  piece  of  paper]  Okay,  Sandy...  [cuts  to  SpongeBob  struggling  to  lift  his  drink,  then  back  to  Sandy]  Cheeks. ;s1e22_67
Sandy;Okay...;s1e22_68
SpongeBob;Wait!;s1e22_69
Sandy; [signs  SpongeBob's  name  on  a  piece  of  paper]  SpongeBob  SquarePants.  [Incidental  6  lifts  the  drink  off  of  SpongeBob,  which  sends  him  flying  towards  Sandy,  who  puts  the  paper  into  the  entry  box] ;s1e22_70
SpongeBob; Sandy,  wait...!  [slams  into  a  pole] ;s1e22_71
SpongeBob; Oh,  great.  Thanks,  Sandy.  [bubble  transition  to  the  competition] ;s1e22_72
 Sports  guy ; We  on?  Welcome  to  the  Goo  Lagoon  8th  annual  anchor  toss  competition.  [everyone  is  getting  ready  but  SpongeBob  is  nervous] ;s1e22_73
Sandy; Ready,  SpongeBob? ;s1e22_74
SpongeBob; Oh,  yeah.  Great.  No  problem.  [blows  frantically  into  his  Anchor  Arms] ;s1e22_75
 Sports  guy ; Could  I  get  some  mustard  on  that?  Oh.  First  up,  Don  the  Whale.  [Incidental  32  throws  the  anchor  and  it  lands.  A  fish  comes  up  to  measure  the  distance] ;s1e22_76
Measurer; 200  yards.  [the  crowd  cheers] ;s1e22_77
 Sports  guy ; Let's  see  an  instant-replay.  [another  anchor  comes  flying  in  on  top  of  the  measuring  fish  and  hits  him]  Amazing!  Up  next,  Larry  the  Lobster.  [Larry  throws  his  anchor.  The  measuring  fish  runs  away  from  the  anchor  but  it  follows  him  and  crushes  him  once  again] ;s1e22_78
Measurer; 210  yards! ;s1e22_79
 Sports  guy ; Here  goes,  Sandy  Cheeks.  [Sandy  throws  it  up  in  the  air  and  kicks  it  away.  The  measuring  fish  runs  around  trying  to  avoid  getting  hit  by  the  anchor  but  the  anchor  crushes  him  anyway] ;s1e22_80
Measurer; 510  yards! ;s1e22_81
 Sports  guy ; Wow!  Fabulous! ;s1e22_82
Sandy; Beat  that,  SpongeBob! ;s1e22_83
 Sports  guy ; Up  next,  SpongeBob  SquarePants. ;s1e22_84
Crowd; [imitates  the  armpit  exercise  while  others  are  holding  up  SpongeBob  signs  and  chanting]  SpongeBob!  SpongeBob!  SpongeBob! ;s1e22_85
SpongeBob; [tries  to  pull  the  anchor  but  instead  he  falls  under  the  ground  with  the  anchor  and  comes  out  and  laughs]  Just  kidding.  Just  kidding.  [everyone  laughs] ;s1e22_86
Sandy; That  SpongeBob  is  funnier  than  ears  on  an  acorn. ;s1e22_87
SpongeBob;" Oh,  this  is  it.  They're  all  gonna  find  out  I'm  a  fake.  I  can't  give  up.  I've  got  to  try.  I  can  do  it!  I've  got  Anchor  Arms!  I'm  no  wimp,  I'm  a  jerk!  [blows  his  Anchor  Arms  over  the  ""JERK""  size,  to  which  the  anchors  are  now  small,  and  the  arms  are  incredibly  ginormous]  Yeah!  [tries  to  lift  the  anchor  again  but  when  he  tries  too  hard,  veins  grow  on  his  arms,  and  some  of  the  air  in  one  arm  goes  into  his  nose.  He  tries  to  lift  the  anchor  again,  but  the  air  goes  into  his  left  eye  as  the  crowd  'ooh's.  He  tries  to  lift  the  anchor  again  and  causes  the  air  to  go  into  his  left  tooth.  He  tries  to  lift  the  anchor  again  for  the  last  time,  causing  the  Anchor  Arms  to  burst  around  his  body,  then  explode.  After  the  air  blows  off,  the  popped  Anchor  Arms  deflate,  floating  down.  SpongeBob  then  reveals  his  real  arms  hidden  from  inside  his  body] ";s1e22_88
Crowd; I  think  he  lost.  [the  crowd  starts  chanting  for  Sandy]  Sandy!  Sandy!  Sandy!  [Sandy  walks  up  to  SpongeBob  and  taps  her  foot,  disappointed.  SpongeBob  walks  away,  leaving  his  destroyed  Anchor  Arms  on  the  ground  and  follows  Sandy  to  the  treedome] ;s1e22_89
SpongeBob; 96.  97.  98.  99.  100. ;s1e22_90
Sandy; I  want  100  more. ;s1e22_91
SpongeBob; It  hurts.  [changes  the  channel  over  and  over]  1.  2.  3.  4... ;s1e22_92
Sandy; I  think  we  finally  found  an  exercise  for  you,  SpongeBob. ;s1e22_93
SpongeBob; ...9.  10.  [his  arm  falls  off]  Can  you  get  that? ;s1e22_94
{system}; [The  scene  begins  at  Squidward's  house.  Squidward  is  admiring  his  artworks  and  sculptures  of  himself.] ;s1e23_1
Squidward; [talking  to  a  wax  sculpture  of  himself]  Have  I  told  you  how  beautiful  you  are?  Your  tentacles,  your  nose,  your  eyes...a  little  lopsided.  [takes  out  the  right  eye,  fixes  it  then  puts  it  back  in  place]  There.  And  now  that  I've  been  immortalized  in  wax,  I  have  conquered  all  artistic  media.  Come  on,  my  precious  reflection,  smile!  [Squidward  makes  wax  sculpture  smile.  Then  he  hears  a  crash  from  outside  and  frowns  the  sculpture  does  as  well] ;s1e23_2
SpongeBob; Hike,  Patrick,  hike!  [both  run  in  separate  directions  but  SpongeBob  has  a  big  rock.  Drops  the  rock  on  the  ground  and  it  breaks  in  half  while  Patrick  blows  a  chess  piece  across  a  chessboard]  You  just  lost  three  points.  [climbs  a  tree  branch]  One.  Two.  Five!  [flips  upside  down  and  blows  a  bubble  into  a  shape]  G-7! ;s1e23_3
Patrick; G-7?  King  me!  King  me!  [runs  into  the  coral  branch  and  pops  the  bubble]  I  lose! ;s1e23_4
SpongeBob; But  it's  not  Tuesday,  Patrick. ;s1e23_5
Patrick; Tartar  sauce!  [Squidward  peeks  out] ;s1e23_6
Squidward; Hey!  What  are  you  invertebrates  doing? ;s1e23_7
{system}; We  don't  know. ;s1e23_8
Patrick; Uh,  yeah,  Squidward,  it's...  [checks  his  watch  but  all  the  bubble  soap  leaks  out  when  he  turns  his  wrist  around] ;s1e23_9
Squidward; Time  to  find  some  other  game  to  play!  [laughs]  [puts  soapy  bubbles  into  his  bathtub  and  turns  on  his  record  player,  then  gets  in  and  takes  a  deep  breath]  Ahh! ;s1e23_10
SpongeBob; Now  what? ;s1e23_11
SpongeBob; [picks  up  shell]  Okay...  ready!  [throws  shell  into  Patrick's  belly.  Patrick  shoots  it  into  the  air] ;s1e23_12
Patrick; Go!  [SpongeBob  goes  after  it] ;s1e23_13
SpongeBob; I  got  it!  I  got  it!  [the  shell  flies  through  Squid's  open  window,  knocks  into  Squid's  sculpture,  and  it  falls  over]  I  got  it!  I  got  it!  I  got  it!  [Squid  in  the  other  room,  hears  a  thump,  but  he  ignores  it.  Sponge  and  Pat  enter  the  room  via  the  elevator]  Remember,  Patrick,  finders  keepers. ;s1e23_14
Patrick; There  it  is!  [points  to  the  shell  that  is  lodged  in  the  head  of  the  wax  sculpture  of  Squidward] ;s1e23_15
Patrick; Bonus  points!  [Patrick  starts  to  walk  off] ;s1e23_16
SpongeBob; Uhh,  Patrick?  I  think  something's  wrong  with  Squidward.  He  looks  unconscious. ;s1e23_17
Patrick; Don't  worry.  I  know  how  to  do  this.  [Patrick  tries  to  give  CPR,  but  his  face  turns  blue  and  he  floats  up  to  the  ceiling  but  lets  out  all  the  air  and  lands  on  top  of  the  wax  sculpture's  head] ;s1e23_18
SpongeBob; Get  off  him,  Patrick!  [Patrick  stands  up] ;s1e23_19
Patrick; What  are  you  worried  about?  [Patrick's  butt  is  now  imprinted  on  the  sculpture's  face]  He  looks  better  already.  [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  stand  him  up] ;s1e23_20
SpongeBob; But  he  still  feels  cold. ;s1e23_21
Patrick; Well,  let's  go  put  him  in  the  warm. ;s1e23_22
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  bring  the  sculpture  in  front  of  the  window  with  the  sun  shining  through  it.] ;s1e23_23
SpongeBob; Do  you  think  he'll  be  okay? ;s1e23_24
Patrick; You  know,  you  worry  too  much.  [the  sculpture  begins  to  melt]  The  Patrick  is  here  and  SpongeBob  I  know  a  lot  about  head  injuries,  believe...  [starts  to  drool  as  SpongeBob  snaps  his  fingers]  ...me.  Hey,  what's  that  on  your  shoe?  [SpongeBob  looks  down] ;s1e23_25
SpongeBob; I  don't  know. ;s1e23_26
Patrick; It  kind  of  looks  like...  [a  liquid  puddle  of  green  goo  is  on  the  floor] ;s1e23_27
SpongeBob; No,  no,  that  part  goes  here. ;s1e23_28
Patrick; Yeah-yeah,  that's  it,  uh-huh. ;s1e23_29
SpongeBob; We're  almost  there.  We  can  do  this. ;s1e23_30
SpongeBob; This  is  working.  [sculpture  melts  again]  Patrick,  this  isn't  working! ;s1e23_31
Patrick; Look!  [eyes  turn  over] ;s1e23_32
SpongeBob; I  don't  know  how  to  say  it,  but  our  old  pal  Squidward,  he's...  He's...  He's  pushing  up  daisies! ;s1e23_33
Patrick; Oh,  I  thought  he  was  dead. ;s1e23_34
{system}; [Squidward  comes  out  of  the  bathroom  covered  in  talcum  powder.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  cling  to  each  other  and  get  scared] ;s1e23_35
Squidward; [screams]  What  are  you  doing  here?!  Well?  Are  you  two  trying  to  say  something,  or  do  I  have  to...? ;s1e23_36
SpongeBob; No,  stay  back! ;s1e23_37
Squidward; What  is  the  matter  with  you  two? ;s1e23_38
Patrick; Don't,  don't  hurt  us! ;s1e23_39
Squidward; What  are  you  two  talking  about?  [he  notices  the  goo  on  the  floor  and  screams]  Look  what  you've  done  to  me!  When  I  get  my  hands  on  you,  I'll... ;s1e23_40
SpongeBob; [sobs]  Please,  Mr.  Squidward's  ghost!  [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  are  bowing  before  Squidward]  Spare  us  your  ghostly  anger!  [Patrick  is  kissing  Squidward's  feet  and  sobbing] ;s1e23_41
Patrick; (as  SpongeBob  cries)  Oh,  yes,  Mr.  Squidward's  ghost!  Please  don't  haunt  us! ;s1e23_42
SpongeBob; (as  Patrick  cries)  We'll  do  anything  you  want!  Just  have  mercy  on  us! ;s1e23_43
{system}; [Squidward  suddenly  gets  an  idea  and  grins  evilly] ;s1e23_44
Squidward; Enough!  Listen  up!  Squidward's  ghost  is  feeling  unusually  generous  today.  He  hath  decided  to  spare  ye  a  horrible  fate.  All  ye  must  do  is  tend  to  my  every  whim,  and  tickle  my  fancy  on  demand. ;s1e23_45
SpongeBob; Does  that  include... ;s1e23_46
Squidward; Quiet!  Now,  do  as  you're  told,  lest  ye  incur  the  wrath  of  Squidward! ;s1e23_47
Patrick; [whispers  to  SpongeBob]  I  think  they  make  a  cream  for  that  now. ;s1e23_48
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  carry  out  Squidward  on  his  bed] ;s1e23_49
SpongeBob;Here?;s1e23_50
Squidward; Too  hot. ;s1e23_51
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  walk  a  little  more  then  stops] ;s1e23_52
SpongeBob;Here?;s1e23_53
Squidward; No,  too  wet.  Keep  going.  Keep  going.  [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  walk  some  more  then  stop  at  the  aquatic  version  of  the  painting  La  Troupe  de  Mademoiselle  Eglantine] ;s1e23_54
SpongeBob;Here?;s1e23_55
Squidward; Too  loose,  Lautrec.  [rim  shot] ;s1e23_56
SpongeBob; Too  tired...  [both  stop  where  they  are] ;s1e23_57
Squidward; Perfect.  Hmmm,  I  feel  needy.  [claps  his  hands]  Slaves,  fetcheth  me  some  nourishment. ;s1e23_58
SpongeBob; Only  the  freshest,  o  spooky  one. ;s1e23_59
{system}; [Both  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  run  off.  SpongeBob  comes  back  with  grapes] ;s1e23_60
SpongeBob; A  grape  fresh  from  the  vine,  your  ghostliness. ;s1e23_61
{system}; [Drops  grape  into  Squidward's  mouth.  Squidward  eats  it  while  SpongeBob  goes  and  gets  a  banana.] ;s1e23_62
SpongeBob; A  banana  peeled  to  your  liking,  your  incorporealness. ;s1e23_63
{system}; [Squeezes  the  banana  into  Squidward's  mouth,  and  he  eats  the  peeled  banana.  Patrick  comes  back  with  a  watermelon] ;s1e23_64
{system}; [On  the  ground,  Squidward's  head  is  shaped  like  the  watermelon] ;s1e23_65
{system}; [Squidward  spits  out  the  watermelon] ;s1e23_66
Squidward; Enough  of  that!  I  want  something  else  to  eat  now.  Something  that's  very  difficult  to  find. ;s1e23_67
{system}; What  do  you  hunger  for,  master? ;s1e23_68
SpongeBob; Whatever  you  want,  we'll  find  it.  We'll  find  it. ;s1e23_69
Patrick; I  found  it. ;s1e23_70
{system}; [Squidward  takes  it  and  throws  it  somewhere] ;s1e23_71
Squidward;" Well,  go  find  it  again!  [Patrick  goes  searching  for  it]  SpongeBob,  get  over  here.  Now  spin  around.  [SpongeBob  turns  around]  That's  better.  Now  jog  in  place.  [SpongeBob  jogs  in  place]  Say  ""flank  steak."" ";s1e23_72
SpongeBob; Flank  steak. ;s1e23_73
Squidward; I  think  I'm  beginning  to  like  this.  Stop.  [SpongeBob  stops]  Now,  play  me  an  elaborate  song  with  this!  [gives  SpongeBob  a  tissue] ;s1e23_74
SpongeBob; But  this  is  just  a  piece  of  tissue  paper. ;s1e23_75
Squidward; Oh,  my.  Always  having  to  have  it  our  way,  don't  we?  Oh,  boo-hoo. ;s1e23_76
{system}; [SpongeBob  blows  through  the  tissue  to  try  and  get  it  to  make  music] ;s1e23_77
SpongeBob; I  can't  do  it! ;s1e23_78
Squidward; Well,  I  hope  you  don't  have  any  plans  tonight,  'cause  you're  not  allowed  to  leave  that  spot  till  I  hear  a  song.  [walks  away.  Day  turns  into  night  and  into  day  again  and  SpongeBob  is  lying  on  the  ground  with  the  tissue  on  his  nose]  What's  this?  Napping  on  the  job?  You're  supposed  to  be  making  music  for  me.  As  punishment  for  this  insolence,  Squidward's  ghost  commandeth  you  to  clean  out  his  back  room. ;s1e23_79
Patrick; [comes  back  with  the  pie]  I  found  it.  [Squidward  takes  it] ;s1e23_80
Squidward; I'll  take  that!  [throws  pie  in  Patrick's  face] ;s1e23_81
Patrick; Yes,  your  ghostliness!  [licks  filling  off  his  face]  This  is  fun. ;s1e23_82
SpongeBob; Patrick,  are  you  ready  for  this? ;s1e23_83
Patrick; Yes.  [SpongeBob  walks  a  couple  steps  forward] ;s1e23_84
SpongeBob; Okay,  let's  go.  Patrick,  are  you  coming?  [Patrick  is  facing  the  wrong  way] ;s1e23_85
Patrick;Yes.;s1e23_86
SpongeBob; Patrick,  it's  this  way. ;s1e23_87
Patrick;Where?;s1e23_88
SpongeBob;Here.;s1e23_89
Patrick; [turns  around]  Oh,  coming!  [both  enter  a  room  in  the  back  with  a  bunch  of  junk  in  it]  How  are  we  going  to  clean  up  all  this  mess? ;s1e23_90
SpongeBob; It's  easy.  Just  tear  this  wallpaper  off!  [tears  the  wall] ;s1e23_91
Patrick; [laughs]  Oh  look,  you  missed  some.  [SpongeBob  picks  up  a  book] ;s1e23_92
SpongeBob; Oh,  let's  see.  It's  a  comic  book,  and  look  at  this.  It's  the  Origin  of  the  Flying  Dutchman.  [shows  picture  in  the  book]  It  says  when  he  died  they  used  his  body  as  a  window  display.  Now  he  haunts  the  seven  seas  because  he  was  never  put  to  rest.  Well,  don't  you  get  it,  Patrick? ;s1e23_93
Patrick; We're  going  to  go  shopping? ;s1e23_94
SpongeBob; No!  We're  gonna  put  poor  old  Squidward  to  rest.  [Squidward  is  laying  on  the  couch  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  spit  spitballs  at  him] ;s1e23_95
Squidward; Ow!  What  the  heck  was  that? ;s1e23_96
SpongeBob; Initiation!  That  was  part  one  of  your  ceremony. ;s1e23_97
Squidward; Ceremony  for  what? ;s1e23_98
SpongeBob; We're  going  to  put  you  to  rest. ;s1e23_99
Squidward; I  don't  want  to  be  put  to  rest!  All  I  want  are  those  chores  done.  Now,  did  you  clean  the  back  room  yet? ;s1e23_100
SpongeBob;Yeah.;s1e23_101
Squidward; Oh,  really?  I'm  going  to  go  check.  [walks  off.  Opens  door  and  screams  because  he  sees  Patrick  and  SpongeBob  with  a  coffin] ;s1e23_102
SpongeBob; Okay,  get  in. ;s1e23_103
Squidward; Are  you  crazy?  I'm  not  getting  in  that  thing! ;s1e23_104
SpongeBob; But  you  said  we  could  put  you  to  rest. ;s1e23_105
Squidward; I  didn't  say  anything  like  that!  Now,  get  out  of  my  house! ;s1e23_106
{system}; [Squidward  pushes  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  outside] ;s1e23_107
Squidward; Now  what?  [Squidward  sees  SpongeBob  writing  on  a  tombstone] ;s1e23_108
SpongeBob;" I  wrote,  ""Here  lies  Squidward.  You  may  not  remember  him,  but  he...""  [Squidward  screams]  Oh,  hi,  Squidward.  Does  this  look  deep  enough? ";s1e23_109
Squidward; SpongeBob!  Cut  that  out! ;s1e23_110
SpongeBob; Oh,  look,  the  mourners  have  arrived. ;s1e23_111
{system}; [A  bus  with  a  load  of  people  are  in  front  of  Squidward's  house] ;s1e23_112
 Mr.  Krabs ; Oh,  Squidward,  we  all  came  as  soon  as  we  were  sure  you  were  dead. ;s1e23_113
Squidward; SpongeBob,  are  you  trying  to  put  me  in  the  nuthouse? ;s1e23_114
SpongeBob; No,  just  into  this  hole. ;s1e23_115
Squidward; [Groans  then  sighs]  SpongeBob,  I  have  a  confession  to  make.  [Takes  off  his  night  cap] ;s1e23_116
SpongeBob; [gasps]  You're  bald? ;s1e23_117
Squidward; No,  I'm  not  bald!  I'm  alive!  Now  get  rid  of  that  tombstone  and  tell  all  your  friends  to  go  home! ;s1e23_118
SpongeBob;But...;s1e23_119
Squidward; Do  it! ;s1e23_120
SpongeBob; [to  the  mourners]  Go  home. ;s1e23_121
{system}; [People  get  back  on  bus  sadly] ;s1e23_122
Squidward; I'm  not  your  master,  I'm  your  neighbor.  Now  do  me  a  favor  and  stop  doing  me  favors!  [walks  off] ;s1e23_123
SpongeBob; As  you  wish,  master. ;s1e23_124
Squidward;D'oh!;s1e23_125
Patrick; Boy,  he  really  had  us  fooled. ;s1e23_126
SpongeBob; No,  Patrick.  He's  the  fool.  He's  a  ghost  in  denial.  He  needs  us  now  more  than  ever! ;s1e23_127
Patrick; You're  right.  He  really  needs  to  get  up  to  the  great  beyond. ;s1e23_128
SpongeBob; Patrick,  say  that  again! ;s1e23_129
Patrick; That  again. ;s1e23_130
SpongeBob; No,  the  other  thing. ;s1e23_131
Patrick; No,  the  other  thing. ;s1e23_132
SpongeBob; [annoyed]  No,  what  you  said  before  when  you... ;s1e23_133
Patrick; No,  what  you  said  before  when  you... ;s1e23_134
SpongeBob; Never  mind!  I've  got  an  idea. ;s1e23_135
Patrick; Never  mind!  I've  got  an  idea. ;s1e23_136
{system}; [SpongeBob  gets  annoyed  again.  Later,  Squidward  is  reclining  on  his  chair  outside.  SpongeBob  is  trying  to  blow  a  bubble  big  enough  to  get  Squidward.] ;s1e23_137
SpongeBob; I  can't  reach  him! ;s1e23_138
Patrick; Blow  harder! ;s1e23_139
{system}; [SpongeBob  blows  a  big  bubble  to  consume  Squidward.  The  bubble  lifts  Squidward  gently  from  his  chair.  The  octopus  doesn't  notice  that  he's  floating.] ;s1e23_140
Patrick; There  he  goes! ;s1e23_141
SpongeBob; Isn't  he  beautiful? ;s1e23_142
Patrick; How  high's  he  going  to  go? ;s1e23_143
{system}; [Squidward  now  sees  he  is  floating] ;s1e23_144
SpongeBob; All  the  way,  Patrick,  up  to  the  great  beyond.  [both  he  and  Patrick  wave  to  Squidward]  Goodbye,  friend! ;s1e23_145
Patrick; Happy  trails! ;s1e23_146
{system}; [Squidward  pounds  his  fists  on  the  bubble  and  tries  to  yell,  but  his  voice  is  so  distorted  by  the  soapy  wall  that  unintelligible  muffled  noises  come  through.] ;s1e23_147
{system}; You're  welcome! ;s1e23_148
{system}; [The  bubble  floats  above  the  surface] ;s1e23_149
SpongeBob; He's  on  the  other  side  now. ;s1e23_150
Patrick; Yeah.  [Squidward  is  floating  above  the  sea  at  Bikini  Atoll  island  in  a  bubble]  He's  in  a  better  place. ;s1e23_151
{system}; [Squidward  moans  in  the  bubble  with  seagulls  flying  around  him] ;s1e23_152
{system};" [The  episode  begins  at  the  Krusty  Krab,  where  SpongeBob  is  sniffing  a  Krabby  Patty.  He  then  squirts  a  mustard  ""checkmark""  on  the  patty  and  puts  on  the  bun.  Just  then,  SpongeBob  hears  Pearl  crying  like  a  baby.  SpongeBob  sees  her  and  gets  a  pan  and  puts  it  on  top  of  his  head  for  protection  from  the  tears.] ";s1e24_1
 Mr.  Krabs ; Don't  cry,  love.  Daddy's  going  to  make  it  all  right.  Calm  down,  girl!  [a  wave  of  water  from  the  tears  busts  the  door  down,  but  SpongeBob  pushes  the  door  back  up  for  a  couple  seconds,  then  the  water  comes  breaking  through  the  door  and  wipes  out  all  the  customers,  dropping  them  to  the  floor.  SpongeBob  walks  up  to  Mr.  Krabs  with  part  of  a  table  around  his  face] ;s1e24_2
SpongeBob; Mr.  Krabs,  what's  wrong  with  Pearl? ;s1e24_3
 Mr.  Krabs ; Her  scurvy  prom  date  stood  her  up,  boy,  and  now,  she  can't  seem  to  find  another. ;s1e24_4
Pearl; That's  because  there's  only  one  fish  in  the  sea  is  long,  tan  and  handsome  as  he  is.  And  that's  him! ;s1e24_5
 Mr.  Krabs ; No,  no,  baby,  no  more  crying.  We'll  get  you  a  date.  Why,  uhh...  I'll  take  ya!  [Pearl  continues  to  cry  and  an  earthquake  starts]  Well,  what  about  Squidward?  [Squidward  is  filing  his  tentacles.  Pearl  cries  even  harder  and  makes  the  earthquake  even  worse] ;s1e24_6
 Mr.  Krabs ; Wait,  wait.  Here,  take  SpongeBob! ;s1e24_7
Pearl; Ahh!  the  fry  cook?  Do  you  know  what  that  would  do  to  my  complexion?  People  would  mistake  me  for  a  planetarium. ;s1e24_8
Pearl; I  don't  know.  But  I  can't  take  him,  daddy!  They'll  kick  me  off  the  most  frequently  pictured  in  the  yearbook  committee. ;s1e24_9
 Mr.  Krabs ; Yeah,  they  would.  We've  got  to  find  someone  else.  Listen  up!  Which  one  of  you  lucky  lubbers  wants  to  take  me  lovely  daughter  Pearl  to  the  prom?  [everyone  runs  away] ;s1e24_10
Pearl; Just  don't  be  late,  SpongeBob.  [sadly  walks  off] ;s1e24_11
SpongeBob; Oh,  hi,  Mr.  Krabs!  Are  you  talking  to  that  dummy  I  made?  It's  pretty  realistic  isn't  it?  [holds  up  the  left  arm]  I  made  this  part  out  of... ;s1e24_12
 Mr.  Krabs ; Never  mind  that,  boy!  You're  taking  Pearl  to  her  prom! ;s1e24_13
SpongeBob; Really?  Oh,  wow!  Don't  worry,  Mr.  Krabs.  I  am  a  prom  expert!  [now  at  home]  Oh,  Gary,  I'm  a  prom  failure.  I  couldn't  even  get  a  date  for  my  own  junior  prom. ;s1e24_14
Gary;Meow.;s1e24_15
Gary;Meow.;s1e24_16
SpongeBob; What  is  it,  Gary?  What  do  you  have?  [Gary  hides  in  his  shell  while  SpongeBob  takes  out  a  magazine  from  Gary's  shell.  Magazine  is  'Long  Tan  and  Handsome']  Say,  Gary,  this  magazine  gives  me  an  idea!  [SpongeBob  cuts  through  some  black  fabric  then  sews  it  up.  Then  he  takes  a  shower  and  plucks  his  eyelashes  to  put  in  some  new  ones.  Then  he  plants  some  seeds  into  the  tuxedo  and  waters  it  to  grow  a  pink  flower.  Now,  he  ties  his  shoes  which  are  on  stilts]  Long.  [pops  out  of  a  toaster  as  some  bread]  Tan.  [licks  his  two  front  teeth  that  are  braced  up]  Handsome.  Okay,  Gary,  wait  'til  Pearl  gets  an  eyeful  of  this!  [Gary  hides  in  his  shell.  Later,  SpongeBob's  limo  drives  up  to  Mr.  Krabs  house.  SpongeBob  rings  the  door  bell  and  Mr.  Krabs  opens  the  door] ;s1e24_17
 Mr.  Krabs ; Hello?  [SpongeBob  lowers  himself  by  some  sort  of  crank]  What  do  you  think,  Pearl?  Cleans  up  pretty  good,  doesn't  he? ;s1e24_18
Pearl; [wearing  a  pink  dress]  Well,  at  least  no  one  will  recognize  you.  Now  listen,  SpongeBob,  I  just  want  to  get  through  this  dance  with  my  social  status  intact.  [SpongeBob  writes  down  a  list  of  what  Pearl  wants  to  do  on  a  notepad]  I  want  to  go  to  the  prom,  get  my  picture  taken,  and  I  want  to  dance...  [SpongeBob  has  a  big  list  now]  ...I  want  to  drink  punch  with  my  friends  and  don't  do  that  other  thing  you're  always  doing... ;s1e24_19
SpongeBob; Uhh,  Pearl,  we've  got  to  get  back  to  the  limo. ;s1e24_20
Pearl; [claps]  A  limo!  Why  didn't  you  say  so?  [Pearl  grabs  SpongeBob  and  drags  him  out  of  the  house]  I  love  limousines! ;s1e24_21
 Mr.  Krabs ; Go  easy  on  him,  lassie!  I  can't  afford  to  break  in  a  new  fry  cook!  [laughs  and  closes  the  door.  Now  at  the  prom  where  the  limo  is  driving  up,  but  the  back  wheels  are  flat  so  it  is  screeching  on  the  road] ;s1e24_22
SpongeBob; [checks  his  list]  Well,  I  guess  the  first  thing  we  should  do  is...  [flash  goes  off  where  the  pictures  are  being  held] ;s1e24_23
Pearl; Yay!  My  first  prom  picture! ;s1e24_24
SpongeBob; Uh-uh...  our  first  prom  picture.  [Pearl  sprays  him  with  something  that  deflates  his  arm] ;s1e24_25
Pearl; Let's  get  this  over  with.  [SpongeBob  is  having  trouble  getting  over  to  the  photo-shoot]  Come  on,  SpongeBob! ;s1e24_26
SpongeBob; Be  right  there. ;s1e24_27
SpongeBob; Just  a  second.  Coming!  [SpongeBob  messes  up  his  footing  and  jumps  everywhere  and  apologizes  to  everyone  but  eventually  gets  to  the  photo-shoot.  He  holds  onto  the  curtain  to  keep  his  balance]  Sorry.  Pardon  me!  Here  I  am...!  Cheese...!  [curtain  collapses  on  them  and  the  photo  is  taken]  That'll  be  a  keeper. ;s1e24_28
{system}; Hey,  look,  it's  Pearl!  Hi,  Pearl! ;s1e24_29
Pearl; SpongeBob,  here  come  my  friends.  Uhh,  go  get  me  some  punch! ;s1e24_30
 Error:  Could  not  extract  speaker  and  replica  from  line. ; Error:  Could  not  extract  speaker  and  replica  from  line. ;s1e24_31
Pearl; Hi,  girls. ;s1e24_32
 Teen  11 ; I'd  like  you  to  meet  Billy  Fishkins! ;s1e24_33
 Teen  1 ;Meep.;s1e24_34
 Teen  14 ; And  you  know  Brian  Flounder  from  math  class. ;s1e24_35
 Teen  2 ;Meep.;s1e24_36
Pearl; Hi  Brian. ;s1e24_37
 Teen  11 ; So,  like,  where's  your  date,  Pearl?  We're  dying  to  meet  him. ;s1e24_38
Pearl; He's  over  at  the  punch  bowl  getting  me  some  punch.  [Teen  11  looks  for  SpongeBob] ;s1e24_39
Pearl; Oh,  yes!  [notices  what  SpongeBob  is  doing]  I  mean...  Oh  no.  [SpongeBob  is  trying  to  reach  for  the  spoon  to  get  some  punch,  but  can't  reach  because  he  is  too  tall,  the  spoon  is  alive.  He  misplaces  his  footing  and  gets  the  punch  all  over  him.  Pearl  pushes  her  friends  away]  Oh,  quick,  let's  go  see  how  ugly  Cindy's  dress  is!  [SpongeBob  hands  two  glasses  of  punch  to  some  people]  SpongeBob,  what  are  you  doing?!  [SpongeBob  has  red  skin  now  from  the  punch.  He  squeezes  some  juice  from  his  nose  and  into  the  glass] ;s1e24_40
SpongeBob; Hi,  Pearl!  Come  on,  it  won't  bite! ;s1e24_41
Pearl; You  look  ridiculous!  [gasps] ;s1e24_42
SpongeBob; What  is  it?  [Pearl  pushes  him  under  the  table  but  he  gets  up  again] ;s1e24_43
Pearl; Get  down,  he'll  see  us!  It's  my  ex-boyfriend,  Octavius  Rex,  a.k.a.  long,  tan  and  handsome! ;s1e24_44
Octavius;Meep.;s1e24_45
SpongeBob; Whoa.  But,  I  bet  he  isn't  holder  of  the  Regional  Romantic  Dance  Championship  trophy!  [holds  it  up,  but  Teen  6  takes  it  away  because  it's  his] ;s1e24_46
 Teen  6 ; Give  me  that  back. ;s1e24_47
SpongeBob; [giggles]  That  just  didn't  happen.  Let's  go!  [takes  Pearl  to  the  dance  floor]  Ready?  [dances  like  crazy] ;s1e24_48
Pearl; SpongeBob,  what  are  you  doing?  Can't  you  see  everybody  here  is  doing  'the  whack'?  [the  couples  are  jumping  at  each  other  with  their  chests.  We  see  couples  jumping  up  and  hitting  each  other,  so  they  do  the  whack] ;s1e24_49
SpongeBob; The  whack?  Oh,  yeah,  I  invented  that  one.  [tries  to  jump] ;s1e24_50
Pearl; Are  you  sure  you  can  do  this?  [SpongeBob  jumps  at  Pearl,  but  they  hit  another  couple  and  send  them  flying  through  the  food  table,  shattering  food  and  kitchenware  and  they  crash  through  a  painting  being  painted  by  Norman  Rockbass] ;s1e24_51
NormanRockbass; Aaah!  [jumps  into  a  trash  can  which  makes  everyone  else  scream  and  go  crazy] ;s1e24_52
Pearl; Well,  I  guess  you  can  take  me  home  now.  Now  that  you've  ruined  everything!  [cries] ;s1e24_53
SpongeBob; Don't  cry,  the  prom  expert  is  here!  I  haven't  failed  yet!  [looks  through  the  list  he  wrote  down]  Hey,  we  can  still...  no,  I  broke  that.  I  know!  We  could...  no.  Don't  cry!  D-d-d-d-don't,  don't  cry.  [At  this  point,  SpongeBob  seems  to  be  talking  to  himself  more  than  he  is  to  Pearl.]  Whatever  you  do,  don't...  [cries,  runs  off] ;s1e24_54
 Teen  14 ; Wow,  what  did  you  do  to  him?  Poor  little  guy.  [SpongeBob  runs  into  the  ladies'  bathroom.  A  couple  girls  run  off  screaming] ;s1e24_55
Pearl; [walks  up  outside  the  ladies  restroom]  Sponge,  are  you  okay? ;s1e24_56
SpongeBob; [crying]  �  Messed  everything  up. ;s1e24_57
Pearl; Don't  worry,  SpongeBob,  ya  didn't  mess  everything  up. ;s1e24_58
SpongeBob; [crying]  �  Hot  dog! ;s1e24_59
Pearl; Actually,  it  was  pretty  funny  when  that  hot  dog  landed  in  Judy's  hair. ;s1e24_60
SpongeBob; [crying]  All  I  wanted  was  to  have  a  good  time! ;s1e24_61
Pearl; But  I  am  having  a  good  time!  Ya  know,  we  haven't  finished  our  dance  yet. ;s1e24_62
SpongeBob; [whimpers]  Can  I  still  wear  the  wig? ;s1e24_63
Pearl; Yes,  you  can  still  wear  the  wig.  [SpongeBob  runs  out  and  grabs  Pearl  to  the  dance  floor] ;s1e24_64
 Error:  Could  not  extract  speaker  and  replica  from  line. ; Error:  Could  not  extract  speaker  and  replica  from  line. ;s1e24_65
AngryCrowd; Get  out! ;s1e24_66
AngryCrowd; After  all  the  hard  work  we  put  in  on  the  decorations,  they  think  they  can  just  come  in  and  ruin  it? ;s1e24_67
 Teen  5 ; Go  wreck  someone  else's  prom,  will  ya?  [Goes  back  inside  gym.  Later,  SpongeBob  and  Pearl  walking  up  to  her  house] ;s1e24_68
Pearl; Oh,  don't  worry,  SpongeBob,  I  knew  it  would  be  a  total  disaster  all  along.  But  as  far  as  disasters  go,  that  was  really  fun.  [Mr.  Krabs  opens  up  the  door] ;s1e24_69
 Mr.  Krabs ; A-ha!  Keep  away  from  me  precious  little  flower!  [Pearl  gasps]  You  almost  stepped  on  it.  [rakes  the  flower  in  the  ground.  SpongeBob  froze  in  his  spot] ;s1e24_70
Pearl; Oh,  daddy!  Well,  good  night,  short,  yellow  and  spongy.  SpongeBob?  [shrugs  her  shoulders  and  walks  back  inside] ;s1e24_71
 Mr.  Krabs ; Good  job,  laddie.  [winks  at  him  and  goes  back  inside.  The  real  SpongeBob  appears  from  the  side] ;s1e24_72
SpongeBob; Oh,  there  you  are,  dummy.  You  sure  come  in  handy.  [laughs]  [The  scene  then  shows  Bikini  Atoll  at  night,  ending  the  episode.] ;s1e24_73
{system}; [The  episode  begins  at  the  Krusty  Krab.] ;s1e25_1
SpongeBob; Hey,  Squidward?  Hey,  Squidward?  [Squidward  is  reading  a  book.]  Hey,  Squidward?  Hey,  Squidward?  Hey,  Squidward? ;s1e25_2
Squidward; All  right,  I'll  bite.  What  is  it,  SpongeBob? ;s1e25_3
SpongeBob; Do  you  know  what  today  is? ;s1e25_4
Squidward; Annoy  Squidward  Day? ;s1e25_5
SpongeBob; [laughs]  No,  silly!  [gets  out  a  calendar]  That's  on  the  15th!  [day  is  marked  by  a  picture  of  Squidward's  face]  Today  is  the  beginning  of  the  judging  for  Employee  of  the  Month. ;s1e25_6
Squidward; SpongeBob,  don't  you  know  that  award's  a  scam? ;s1e25_7
SpongeBob; What  do  you  mean? ;s1e25_8
SpongeBob; That  is  not  true,  Squidward.  He  gives  it  to  me  because  I  work  harder.  You  could  win  it  too  if  you  tried  harder. ;s1e25_9
Squidward; Oh,  for  what?  To  get  my  face  on  the  Wall  of  Shame?  [shows  wall  full  of  SpongeBob  pictures  for  being  Employee  of  the  Month] ;s1e25_10
SpongeBob; Squidward,  you've  got  it  all  wrong.  Having  pride  in  your  work  is  nothing  to  be  ashamed  of,  why  it's  the  only  thing  that  makes  it  all  worthwhile. ;s1e25_11
SpongeBob;" [In  mind]  Huh?  [looks  over  and  sees  the  month  of  ""January""  with  no  picture] ";s1e25_12
Squidward; That's  right,  SpongeBob.  I  might  sneak  up  on  you.  [Squidward  and  Mr.  Krabs  laugh  at  SpongeBob  as  he  walks  over  to  the  wall  and  imagines  Squidward  laughing  at  him  in  the  picture] ;s1e25_13
SpongeBob; No...!  [begins  to  cry]  How  could  I  have  let  the  quality  of  my  work  slip  so  much?!  [Squidward's  picture  continues  to  laugh  until  it  becomes  an  evil  cackle.  The  scene  goes  to  SpongeBob  grilling  and  flipping  patties  until  he  comes  to  a  patty  that  won't  flip.  He  tries  and  tries,  but  then  he  flips  the  patty  on  to  the  ceiling.  He  screams  and  then  tries  to  get  it  off  of  there.] ;s1e25_14
Squidward; [peeks  in]  Need  some  help?  [SpongeBob  screams  again]  What  are  you  doing? ;s1e25_15
Squidward; You're  losing  it!  Don't  you  know  that  award  is  a  load  of--  [SpongeBob  gets  the  patty  off  the  ceiling,  but  he  flings  it  into  the  fan  and  it  sprays  Squidward  with  all  the  meat]  ...garbage. ;s1e25_16
SpongeBob; [jumps  off  of  ceiling]  Please  don't  tell  Mr.  Krabs  about  this!  It'll  hurt  my  chances  of  winning  the  award! ;s1e25_17
Squidward; I  already  told  you,  that  award  is  a  bunch  of...  [gets  sprayed  with  meat  again]  ...baloney! ;s1e25_18
SpongeBob; That  is  not  true,  Squidward.  Like  this  hat,  that  award  is  a  symbol  of... ;s1e25_19
Squidward; [grabs  SpongeBob's  hat]  It's  a  symbol  that  you're  a  chump!  [SpongeBob  screams  for  the  3rd  time,  feeling  scared] ;s1e25_20
SpongeBob; No,  Squidward!  [screams] ;s1e25_21
Squidward; And  this  is  a  symbol  of  what  I  think  of  the  'Employee  of  the  Month'  award!  [Squidward  lifts  his  foot  and  tries  to  stomp  the  hat  flat,  but  his  foot  hits  something  hard  that  is  under  the  hat]  Ow! ;s1e25_22
SpongeBob; [lifts  up  the  hat  to  reveal  a  lead  block]  An  experienced  employee  of  the  month  always  keeps  a  brick  of  lead  in  his  hat. ;s1e25_23
Squidward; I'm  telling  you  for  the  last  time,  that  award  is  nothing  but  a  joke!  [Squidward  walks  away,  but  is  sprayed  with  meat  for  the  last  time.  Then  we  see  SpongeBob  looking  at  all  his  award  photos] ;s1e25_24
SpongeBob; What  if  Squidward's  right?  What  if  the  award  is  a  phony?  Does  this  mean  my  whole  body  of  work  is  meaningless?!  [every  award  photo  now  has  an  army  hat  on] ;s1e25_25
{system}; Stow  that  kind  of  talk,  sailor!  This  is  war  now,  private!  That's  exactly  what  he  wants  you  to  think!  This  is  no  time  to  go  lily-livered  on  us! ;s1e25_26
SpongeBob; But,  sir� ;s1e25_27
SpongeBob; Crystal,  sir! ;s1e25_28
SpongeBob; I  won't  let  Squidward  win!  [Squidward  sets  his  alarm  and  walks  off]  He  can't  go  to  work  if  he  doesn't  wake  up.  Target  sited.  [SpongeBob  sneaks  up  to  Squidward's  house  by  sliding  on  the  ground  then  through  one  of  Squidward's  windows  and  as  he  enters  he  falls  to  the  ground  and  Squidward's  hears  the  noise  while  he  is  brushing  his  teeth.  Squidward  goes  to  check  what  it  is  and  SpongeBob  is  standing  behind  the  plant  by  the  door.  Squidward  closes  the  door  and  SpongeBob  slides  around  the  door  and  then  by  Squidward's  bed  where  the  alarm  clock  is.  He  is  about  to  grab  it  when  he  hears  the  door  handle  jiggle  so  he  hides  in  the  pillow  on  the  bed.  Squidward  gets  into  bed  and  isn't  comfortable  with  the  pillow  as  it  is  so  he  adjusts  it.  Tries  to  adjust  it  again  and  you  can  hear  SpongeBob's  giggling.  Squidward  lays  his  head  down  and  SpongeBob's  hand  reaches  out  for  the  clock  as  Squidward  opens  his  eyes.  Squidward  freaks  out  and  throws  the  pillow  against  the  wall.  The  cover  comes  down,  revealing  SpongeBob] ;s1e25_29
SpongeBob; You  can't  win  that  award  if  you  don't  get  up  for  work!  [SpongeBob  destroys  the  clock.  Squidward  grabs  another  one  and  sets  it  on  the  stand.  SpongeBob  grabs  that  one  and  destroys  it.  Squidward  opens  up  a  closet  full  of  alarm  clocks.  SpongeBob  grabs  a  few  clocks  and  destroys  them  one  by  one] ;s1e25_30
Squidward; Stop  it,  SpongeBob!  If  I  really  wanted  that  award,  I  could  win  it  with  my  tentacles  tied! ;s1e25_31
SpongeBob; [tosses  the  destroyed  alarm  clock  over  his  shoulder]  That  can  be  arranged. ;s1e25_32
Squidward; You're  a  lunatic,  SpongeBob! ;s1e25_33
SpongeBob; Maybe  so,  but  I  did  win  'Employee  of  the  Month'  26  months  in  a  row. ;s1e25_34
Squidward; Are  y-Are  you  trying  to  say  that  you  are  better  than  me?! ;s1e25_35
SpongeBob; I've  been  better  than  you  for  26  months--and  it'll  be  27  tomorrow. ;s1e25_36
Squidward; Oh,  that's  it,  square-for-brains!  That's  it!  I'm  gonna  show  you  how  easy  it  is  to  win  that  award.  I'm  gonna  be  the  new  'Employee  of  the  Month'!  I  will  prove  to  you  that  I  am  far  more  competent  than  you! ;s1e25_37
SpongeBob; Well,  I'm  going  in  early  to  wax  the  floors! ;s1e25_38
SpongeBob; Well,  you'll  have  to  get  up  pretty  early  to  get  there  before  me! ;s1e25_39
Squidward; I  don't  need  to  sleep!  Loser! ;s1e25_40
SpongeBob; Well,  me  neither!  �26-time  loser!  [SpongeBob  and  Squidward  are  watching  each  other  through  their  windows]  Look  at  him.  Watchin'  me. ;s1e25_41
Squidward; I'm  watching  you,  SpongeBob.  You're  not  leaving  before  me. ;s1e25_42
SpongeBob; Hey,  Squidward,  getting  sleepy,  huh? ;s1e25_43
Squidward; No,  how  about  you? ;s1e25_44
SpongeBob;" Nope!  [Squidward  gets  out  his  clarinet  and  plays  ""Brahms'  Lullaby.""  SpongeBob  struggles  to  keep  himself  awake.]  Nighty  Night.  [SpongeBob  falls  asleep  and  starts  to  snore.  Later,  Squidward  tries  to  walk  out,  but  falls  into  a  very  deep  square  hole  right  in  front  of  his  door] ";s1e25_45
Squidward; SpongeBob!  [SpongeBob  comes  up  with  a  shovel  in  his  hand] ;s1e25_46
SpongeBob; Hey,  Squidward!  Going  somewhere? ;s1e25_47
Squidward; I'm  going  to  wring  you  dry  when  I  get  outta  here!  Now  get  me  outta  here! ;s1e25_48
SpongeBob; All  right,  Squidward.  I'll  stop  by  after  work! ;s1e25_49
Squidward; SpongeBob!  SpongeBob!  [Squidward  screams  some  more.  SpongeBob  walks  back  to  bed] ;s1e25_50
SpongeBob; Now  to  get  some  rest.  Don't  wanna  look  tired  for  my  'Employee  of  the  Month'  photo!  [SpongeBob  goes  to  his  bed  and  sleeps  a  while.  Squidward  manages  to  climb  out  of  the  hole  SpongeBob  wakes  up  to  hear  some  hammering]  Squidward!  [Squidward  is  nailing  boards  onto  SpongeBob's  front  door] ;s1e25_51
Squidward; That  oughta  hold  him!  [SpongeBob  saws  around  it  and  pushes  the  door  on  Squidward  and  runs  away.  A  cage  drops  enclosing  SpongeBob  and  Squidward  laughs.  SpongeBob  slides  out  because  he  can  fit  through  the  bars] ;s1e25_52
Squidward;" [walks  along  into  a  bottle  and  gets  trapped]  SpongeBob!  Why,  you  little�!  [SpongeBob  writes  ""loser.""  on  the  bottle  with  his  finger  in  a  script  writing  and  runs  away.  Later  he  sees  a  Krabby  Patty] ";s1e25_53
SpongeBob; Ha  ha  ha  ha  ha.  Hmmm,  a  Krabby  Patty!  [smells  it  but  the  top  bun  opens  up  and  a  claw  comes  out  grabbing  SpongeBob's  nose]  Yow!  Squidward! ;s1e25_54
Squidward; So  long,  Sponge  loser!  [Squidward  gets  caught  in  a  net  and  SpongeBob  runs  by  laughing.  SpongeBob  runs  through  a  barbed-wire  fence  and  Squidward  runs  by  laughing.  Squidward  is  tied  by  his  tentacles  and  SpongeBob  runs  by  laughing.  SpongeBob  is  stuck  in  a  brick  wall  and  Squidward  runs  by  laughing.  Later  the  two  are  trying  to  drag  along  some  big  items.  SpongeBob  is  dragging  an  anchor  and  Squidward  is  dragging  a  flaming  boat]  SpongeBob?  Truce?  [both  wave  a  white  flag] ;s1e25_55
SpongeBob;Truce.;s1e25_56
Squidward; SpongeBob,  I  can't  take  it  anymore.  If  we  keep  this  up,  neither  of  us  will  win  the  award! ;s1e25_57
SpongeBob; You're  right.  We  should  save  our  energy  for  work  where  we  really  need  it.  [it�s  now  dawn] ;s1e25_58
Squidward; Okay,  let's  have  a  good  clean  fight. ;s1e25_59
SpongeBob; And  may  the  better  man  win.  [shakes  hands  with  Squidward,  now  he's  thinking]  He's  nothing  but  a  lying,  boneless,  ink-squirting,  big-nosed  phony. ;s1e25_60
Squidward; [thinking]  Look  at  that  bucktooth,  corn-fed  smile,  you  can't  trust  him  as  far  as  you  can  throw  him. ;s1e25_61
SpongeBob; [thinking]  As  soon  as  he  stops  shaking  my  hand, ;s1e25_62
Squidward; [thinking]  I'm  gonna  make  a  run  for  it. ;s1e25_63
 Mr.  Krabs ; Money,  money,  gonna  make  some  money!  [sees  SpongeBob  and  Squidward  come  running  over]  Ah,  it  warms  me  wallet  to  see  me  employees  coming  in  so  early.  Boys,  you're  early!  [Mr.  Krabs  realizes  that  they  aren't  stopping  for  anything]  Wait!  [both  push  Mr.  Krabs  out  of  the  way  and  start  doing  nice  stuff] ;s1e25_64
Squidward; Clean  tables,  Mr.  Krabs!  [Squidward  presses  too  hard  on  the  table  while  he  is  cleaning  and  breaks  it  in  half] ;s1e25_65
 Mr.  Krabs ; What's  going  on  here?!  [SpongeBob  drops  and  breaks  the  dishes  and  mops  them  just  like  that] ;s1e25_66
SpongeBob; It's  much  more  efficient  to  clean  dishes  this  way,  Mr.  Krabs! ;s1e25_67
Squidward; Flowers  and  chocolate  for  you,  Mr.  Krabs! ;s1e25_68
SpongeBob; Look,  I'm  putting  my  own  money  in  the  register,  Mr.  Krabs!  [SpongeBob  puts  his  money  into  the  register.  Squidward  and  SpongeBob  are  in  the  kitchen]  Two  spatulas  to  increase  productivity,  Mr.  Krabs!  Faster,  SpongeBob,  faster! ;s1e25_69
Squidward; There's  nothing  to  this  patty  flipping,  Mr.  Krabs!  I'll  easily  double  your  output,  SpongeHog! ;s1e25_70
 Mr.  Krabs ; Boys,  boys,  boys!  [music  gradually  speeds  up  both  SpongeBob  and  Squidward  make  many  patties  to  overflow  the  kitchen,  cornering  Mr.  Krabs]  Help!  Help!  [the  amount  of  Krabby  Patties  fills  up  the  kitchen  and  the  Krusty  Krab  itself,  causing  the  whole  restaurant  to  explode,  sending  thousands  of  patties  raining  down  in  front  of  the  citizens] ;s1e25_71
 Error:  Could  not  extract  speaker  and  replica  from  line. ; Error:  Could  not  extract  speaker  and  replica  from  line. ;s1e25_72
 Mr.  Krabs ; [with  his  head  bursting  through  one  of  SpongeBob's  employee  pictures]  Wait,  you've  got  to  pay  for  those!  Wait!  Wait!  Wait!  Boys,  the  Krabby  Patties!  [SpongeBob  and  Squidward  come  through  the  picture  frame  that  Mr.  Krabs  is  in  and  ask  him  who  is  the  winner,  while  Mr.  Krabs  is  still  complaining  about  the  Krabby  Patties] ;s1e25_73
SpongeBob; So,  who's  the  winner  of  Employee  of  the  Month? ;s1e25_74
Squidward; Me,  me!  It's  me!  [SpongeBob  and  Squidward  continue  calling  out  simultaneously  about  who  is  the  winner] ;s1e25_75
 Mr.  Krabs ; Boys!  Wait!  Boys,  the  Krabby  Patties!  Boys,  wait!  [The  three  continue  to  argue  as  the  episode  fades  to  black.] ;s1e25_76
{system}; [The  episode  begins  during  nighttime  at  Bikini  Bottom.] ;s1e26_1
 French  Narrator ; Halloween  is  no  different  under  the  waves.  Pirates,  skeletons,  and  sea  monsters.  [laughs  evilly]  Oop,  sorry.  Everyone  having  fun.  Well,  almost  everyone.  [SpongeBob  is  washing  the  dishes  in  the  Krusty  Krab  kitchen.  The  door  creaks  open,  and  SpongeBob  jumps  in  surprise] ;s1e26_2
SpongeBob;" Huh?  Who's  there?  [door  creaks  open  some  more  as  SpongeBob  goes  back  to  washing  some  dishes.  Turns  around  and  three  pieces  of  paper  spelling  out  ""boo""  turn  on  the  ordering  turntable.  SpongeBob  speeds  up  the  cleaning  of  the  dishes  until  he  finishes]  Okay,  Mr.  Krabs,  the  dishes  are  done,  I'm  leaving!  [tries  running  out,  but  Mr.  Krabs  stops  him  in  his  tracks] ";s1e26_3
 Mr.  Krabs ; Hold  on.  Don't  you  want  to  hear  my  annual  scary  story? ;s1e26_4
SpongeBob; No  thank  you,  Mr.  Krabs.  Uhh,  does  it  have  monsters  in  it? ;s1e26_5
 Mr.  Krabs ; Aye,  the  worst  monster  of  them  all. ;s1e26_6
SpongeBob; Uhh...  no.  [opens  the  door  then  turns  around]  Is  it  a  true  story? ;s1e26_7
 Mr.  Krabs ; True  as  the  deep  blue. ;s1e26_8
 Mr.  Krabs ;" Have  a  seat,  me  boy.  [He  runs  while  saying  ""hot,  hot,  hot,  hot,  hot,  hot,  hot""  when  carrying  the  campfire  before  sitting  on  a  log.  Mr.  Krabs  puts  a  campfire  in  the  middle  of  them]  Every  year  on  Halloween  night,  the  Flying  Dutchman  descends  on  Bikini  Bottom,  in  a  pirate  ship,  just  like  this.  [holds  up  a  Krabby  Patty]  Only  bigger! ";s1e26_9
SpongeBob; Excuse  me,  did  his  ship  look  like  a  Krabby  Patty? ;s1e26_10
 Mr.  Krabs ; Like  I  was  saying,  the  Flying  Dutchman  swoops  down  and  starts  stealing  people's  souls.  [holds  up  a  pickle]  [A  ghost  is  screaming  in  the  background.] ;s1e26_11
 Mr.  Krabs ;" Aye,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  they  do.  And  he  puts  them  where  you  can  never  get  them...  [The  ghost  continues  to  scream.]  in  his  soul  bag.  [drops  the  pickle  into  a  bag  that  has  the  words  ""Krusty  Krab""  crossed  out  and  the  word  ""souls""  written  above  it.  Mr.  Krabs  laughs  evilly  as  Squidward  appears  behind  SpongeBob  in  a  pirate  suit] ";s1e26_12
Squidward; I've  come  for  your  pickle. ;s1e26_13
{system}; [SpongeBob  jumps  up  screaming.  Afterwards,  Squidward  takes  off  his  hat  and  fake  beard.] ;s1e26_14
 Mr.  Krabs ; Ha,  ScaredyPants  gets  easier  to  scare  every  year! ;s1e26_15
SpongeBob; Humph,  Squidward! ;s1e26_16
 Mr.  Krabs ; Nothing  like  a  good  ghost  story,  eh,  me  boy?  Hope  you're  not  too  scared  to  come  to  me  party  tonight,  SpongeBob  ScaredyPants!  [laughs  while  walking  out] ;s1e26_17
Squidward; [walks  up  behind  SpongeBob]  Steal  your  soul.  [SpongeBob  jumps  out  of  the  Krusty  Krab  screaming  and  beings  to  walk  home.  As  he  is  walking  home,  he  sees  a  jack-o-lantern  and  then  he  walks  up  to  a  kid  in  a  cowboy  costume] ;s1e26_18
Kid; Twick-ow-tweat!  [SpongeBob  screams  and  runs  away.  The  kid�s  parents  walk  up  next  to  their  son] ;s1e26_19
Mother; It's  okay,  son.  That's  just  SpongeBob  ScaredyPants.  [SpongeBob  is  walking  home  until  Mrs.  Puff  drives  up  and  honks  the  horn,  sending  SpongeBob  screaming  and  jumping  to  hold  onto  the  street  light] ;s1e26_20
 Mrs.  Puff ; Happy  Halloween,  ScaredyPants.  [drives  off  laughing] ;s1e26_21
SpongeBob; The  name's  SquarePants.  It's  SquarePants! ;s1e26_22
{system}; [Bubble  transitions  to  SpongeBob's  house.  SpongeBob  and  Gary  are  inside  a  pumpkin.  SpongeBob  is  carving  out  a  pumpkin  from  the  inside.] ;s1e26_23
SpongeBob; I  don't  get  it,  Gary.  Every  Halloween,  no  matter  how  hard  I  try,  everybody  scares  me. ;s1e26_24
Gary;Meow.;s1e26_25
SpongeBob; Well,  I'm  sick  of  it.  [SpongeBob  comes  out  of  the  carved  mouth  of  the  pumpkin]  No  more  ScaredyPants!  [notices  his  pumpkin  and  screams  while  running  into  his  closet] ;s1e26_26
Patrick; [knocks  at  the  door  of  SpongeBob's  home]  SpongeBob! ;s1e26_27
Patrick; Hiya,  SpongeBob!  [SpongeBob  screams.  Patrick  takes  his  glasses  off]  Sorry,  I  didn't  mean  to  scare  you. ;s1e26_28
SpongeBob; [on  ceiling]  Why  can't  I  be  frightening  for  once?  [drops  to  the  floor]  Where's  my  chance? ;s1e26_29
Patrick; Well,  if  you  want  to  be  scary,  you  got  to  need  a  good  costume.  [he  and  SpongeBob  walk  inside] ;s1e26_30
SpongeBob; What  do  you  think? ;s1e26_31
Patrick; Great!  You're  going  as  my  trick-or-treat  bag! ;s1e26_32
SpongeBob; No,  no!  I'm  the  ghost  of  the  Flying  Dutchman! ;s1e26_33
Patrick; Eh,  something's  missing.  I  know!  [Patrick  runs  inside  SpongeBob's  closet.  A  tree  falls  down  but  then  gets  sawed  down  by  Patrick.  Patrick  comes  out  with  a  pair  of  clogs]  Step  into  these  babies,  Hans.  [SpongeBob  steps  into  the  clogs]  Terrifying. ;s1e26_34
SpongeBob; I  don't  know,  Patrick. ;s1e26_35
{system}; [Doorbell  rings] ;s1e26_36
Patrick; Come  on,  SpongeBob.  It's  little  kids!  Little  kids  are  easy  to  scare! ;s1e26_37
{system}; [Door  opens] ;s1e26_38
Kids;Trick-or-treat!;s1e26_39
{system}; [The  kids  laugh.] ;s1e26_40
Kid; Look,  it's  the  haunted  mattress!  [The  kids  laugh  again.] ;s1e26_41
SpongeBob; Okay,  okay,  here's  your  candy. ;s1e26_42
Kid; No,  please,  that  was  enough  of  a  treat,  thank  you. ;s1e26_43
{system}; [The  kids  walk  away  laughing] ;s1e26_44
SpongeBob; I  don't  get  it,  Patrick. ;s1e26_45
Patrick; SpongeBob,  look  at  my  new  paper  ghost!  [Patrick  holds  scissors  in  his  right  hand  a  has  a  puppet  on  his  left  hand]  Oooh,  scary. ;s1e26_46
SpongeBob; That  is  it,  Patrick! ;s1e26_47
Patrick; What's  it? ;s1e26_48
SpongeBob; What's  the  difference  between  that  ghost  and  me? ;s1e26_49
{system}; [Patrick  concentrates] ;s1e26_50
Patrick; No,  no,  no  wait.  Don't  tell  me.  [concentrates  more]  D-don't  tell  me.  Don't  tell  me!  Don't  tell  me!  I  can  do  this!  I  can  do  this!  Don't  tell  me!  Don't  tell  me!  Don't  tell  me!  [pants]  Okay,  tell  me. ;s1e26_51
SpongeBob; I've  got  a  square  head...  [points  both  hands  to  his  head  and  grabs  the  puppet  ghost]  ...and  a  real  ghost  has  a  round  one.  [follows  his  index  finger  around  the  perimeters  of  the  puppet  ghost's  head]  All  we  have  to  do  is  make  my  head  round  and  boo!  I'm  scary!  [Bubble  transitions  to  SpongeBob  sitting  on  a  chair  in  his  bathroom.  Patrick  has  goggles  on] ;s1e26_52
Patrick; Okay,  are  you  ready? ;s1e26_53
SpongeBob; [shows  paper  ghost]  Remember,  like  this. ;s1e26_54
{system}; [Patrick  razors  off  SpongeBob's  sides] ;s1e26_55
Patrick; Are  you  sure  you  want  to  do  this? ;s1e26_56
SpongeBob; Shave  me  down,  make  me  round! ;s1e26_57
{system}; [Patrick  razors  off  more  and  uses  one  piece  to  wipe  off  his  sweat  from  his  forehead] ;s1e26_58
Patrick; All  right,  let's  get  to  it.  [razors  off  more  part.  Later,  SpongeBob  is  a  round  ghost] ;s1e26_59
SpongeBob; What  do  you  think? ;s1e26_60
Patrick; Perfect.  [shakes  SpongeBob's  hand]  Now  that's  scary!  [Patrick  puts  on  his  funny  glasses]  Let's  go  scare  somebody.  [Scene  cuts  to  SpongeBob  running  down  a  street  trying  to  scare  people] ;s1e26_61
SpongeBob; Oooh...  I'm  the  Flying  Dutchman! ;s1e26_62
Patrick; Oooh...  I  don't  know  who  I  am!  [SpongeBob  pretends  to  fly  and  rings  the  doorbell  of  one  of  the  homes.  The  man  inside  opens  the  door.] ;s1e26_63
SpongeBob; Rawr!  Rawr!  I'm  the  Flying  Dutchman! ;s1e26_64
{system}; Hey,  don't  you  kids  want  your  candy?  [both  jump  behind  some  coral  in  the  shape  of  a  skeleton  head] ;s1e26_65
SpongeBob; Do  you  think? ;s1e26_66
SpongeBob; Who  should  we  scare  next? ;s1e26_67
Patrick; There's  a  whole  party  just  full  of  people  down  at  the  Krusty  Krab  and  the  Flying  Dutchman  is  going  to  show  up  uninvited.  [kids  laughing]  Oh!  Here  comes  someone  now!  [SpongeBob  jumps  out  to  scare  the  kids  from  earlier] ;s1e26_68
Kid; Wasn't  that  the  Haunted  Mattress? ;s1e26_69
Kid; I  guess  he's  been  demoted  to  a  haunted  sleeping  bag!  [The  kids  laugh.] ;s1e26_70
{system}; [Scene  cuts  to  the  Krusty  Krab,  where  there  is  a  Halloween  feast  going  on.  Mr.  Krabs  is  bobbing  for  apples  with  his  daughter  Pearl,  who  is  dressed  up  as  Frankenstein's  bride.  Mr.  Krabs  successfully  bobs  an  apple,  but  accidentally  swallows  it.  Mr.  Krabs  chokes  on  an  apple] ;s1e26_71
Pearl; Oh,  dad,  you're  embarrassing  me  again!  [cries  and  runs  off.  Krabs  spits  out  the  apple  which  shoots  past  Squidward  (dressing  up  as  a  pirate)  and  Sandy  (whose  hair  and  head  are  in  the  shape  of  a  goldfish),  breaking  a  window  off-screen  in  the  process] ;s1e26_72
Sandy; Howdy,  Squidward,  I  mean,  Flying  Dutchman.  Great  party,  huh? ;s1e26_73
Squidward; What  are  you  supposed  to  be? ;s1e26_74
Sandy; Why,  I'm  a  pet  goldfish  in  a  bowl! ;s1e26_75
Squidward; I  don't  get  it.  [Sandy  and  Squidward  drink  the  fruit  punch.  Meanwhile,  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  are  on  the  roof  of  the  Krusty  Krab.  SpongeBob  is  tied  up  with  some  rope  which  Patrick  will  lower  him  in  with.  SpongeBob  opens  a  door  on  the  roof  to  peek  through  to  look  at  the  party] ;s1e26_76
Patrick; Are  you  ready,  SpongeBob?  [thumbs  up  from  SpongeBob] ;s1e26_77
SpongeBob; Okay,  Patrick,  kill  the  lights! ;s1e26_78
{system}; [Lights  go  off.  As  soon  as  this  happens,  everybody  begins  panicking  and  running  around  screaming.  SpongeBob  is  lowered  in  appearing  with  a  scary  look.  Patrick  begins  talking  through  a  megaphone  to  scare  everyone.  Mr.  Krabs  even  hides  in  the  apple  barrel] ;s1e26_79
Patrick; Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!  I  am  the  Flying  Dutchman!  Booga-booga-booga-booga-booga-booga!  Give  me  your  souls!  [a  jellyfish  comes  up  behind  Patrick  and  zaps  him  in  the  butt.]  Huh?  [Patrick  stands  up  there  for  a  few  seconds.  He  screams  and  starts  running  around  in  circles  while  SpongeBob  is  tumbling.]  Ow!  Ow! ;s1e26_80
SpongeBob; Whoa!  [flails  around  in  and  around.  Patrick  rubs  his  rear  on  the  Krusty  Krab  chimney  trying  to  shake  off  the  jellyfish  sting.  As  Patrick  continues  to  run  around,  SpongeBob  dangles  upside  down,  revealing  his  pants.] ;s1e26_81
Kid; [notices  SpongeBob's  pants]  Hey,  that's  no  Dutchman,  that's  SpongeBob! ;s1e26_82
Sandy;SpongeBob?;s1e26_83
Squidward; SpongeBob.  [everyone  laughs] ;s1e26_84
SpongeBob; [still  dangling]  Help!  Help! ;s1e26_85
Patrick; [using  megaphone]  I  am  not  SpongeBob.  Those  are  my  street  clothes! ;s1e26_86
Crowd;" [All  laughing,  one  of  them  says  ""Flying  Dutchman!  Flying  Dope-man!""] ";s1e26_87
{system}; [Lightning  strikes.  The  entrance  of  the  Krusty  Krab  suddenly  opens  a  bright  light.] ;s1e26_88
FlyingDutchman;Enough!;s1e26_89
{system}; [Everyone  gasps  as  glowing  green  smoke  comes  into  the  Krusty  Krab.  A  glowing  green  figure  appears,  it  turns  out  to  be  the  Flying  Dutchman.  He  does  an  evil  laugh,  making  everyone  scream  in  terror.] ;s1e26_90
 Mr.  Krabs ; It's  the  real  Flying  Dutchman!  [he  faints] ;s1e26_91
FlyingDutchman; You  bet  your  lily-white  livers,  I'm  the  Flying  Dutchman.  And  I'll  let  you  in  on  a  little  secret.  I'm  going  to  steal  your  soul.  [everyone  screams]  Quiet!  [breathes  out  flames  to  burn  them]  You  had  it  coming,  you  little  crybabies.  Every  year,  people  dressing  like  me.  [Squidward  takes  his  costume  off  and  whistles  nonchalantly]  Turning  the  Flying  Dutchman  name  in  a  laughingstock.  But  that's  not  the  reason  I'm  taking  your  souls.  [pointing  at  SpongeBob,  who  is  hanging  upside  down]  No,  this  is  the  straw  that  broke  the  camel's  back.  Out  of  all  the  Dutchman  costumes  I've  seen,  yours  is  the  most  insulting. ;s1e26_92
SpongeBob; Do  you  mean  I'm  not  scary? ;s1e26_93
{system}; You?  Scary?!  [cackles,  then  cuts  the  rope  holding  SpongeBob,  and  he  falls  to  the  floor]  Let  me  tell  you  about  scary,  kid.  There's  all  kinds  of  scary  things  in  the  world.  Spiders  are  scary,  uhh,  I'm  scary.  You...  you're  not  scary.  Okay,  let's  get  this  over  with.  [flies  back  to  the  partygoers  to  steal  their  souls  and  evilly  laughs  in  their  faces  again  which  makes  everyone  scream  in  terror  again,  one  fish  even  shaking  his  head  begging  for  mercy] ;s1e26_94
Sandy;SpongeBob!;s1e26_95
FlyingDutchman; First,  I  gotta  get  rid  of  this  stupid  costume.  [removes  SpongeBob's  ghost  costume...then  stares  at  SpongeBob  in  horror.  The  Flying  Dutchman  flies  out  of  the  Krusty  Krab  screaming.  SpongeBob  is  now  shown  as  skinless  with  just  a  brain,  eyes,  and  a  mouth  with  the  lower  half  of  his  body] ;s1e26_96
SpongeBob; Hey,  what  do  you  know?  I  scared  him!  [laughs] ;s1e26_97
{system}; [Everyone  else,  except  Patrick  and  himself,  runs  out  screaming] ;s1e26_98
SpongeBob; It  worked,  Patrick.  I  scared  everybody! ;s1e26_99
Patrick; Yeah,  I  guess  it  was  your  pink  hat. ;s1e26_100
SpongeBob; Pink  hat?  Oh,  that's  not  a  hat.  That's  my  brain.  [pats  his  brain] ;s1e26_101
Patrick; Ohh...  [he  runs  away  screaming,  and  the  screen  fades  to  black.] ;s1e26_102
SpongeBob; [off-screen]  Don't  worry,  it  grows  back!  [The  episode  ends.] ;s1e26_103
SpongeBob; [Gary  is  on  his  exercise  wheel]  Exercise  time  is  over,  Gary.  [takes  Gary  off  his  wheel]  We  don't  want  you  getting  too  thin.  [holds  up  a  green,  squishy  ball]  Here,  boy.  Fetch!  [throws  it  and  Gary  goes  after  it  but  at  a  slow  pace.  SpongeBob  checks  his  watch  and  sits  on  a  chair  and  takes  out  the  newspaper  to  read.  Morning  arrives,  the  rooster  crows  and  SpongeBob  is  asleep  in  the  chair.  Gary  crawls  up  to  SpongeBob  and  spits  out  the  ball] ;s1e27_1
Gary;Meow.;s1e27_2
SpongeBob; Huh?  [sees  the  ball  on  the  ground]  Good  job,  Gary!  [He  jumps  to  Gary]  I  love  you,  Gary!  [He  starts  scratching  Gary  and  Gary  purrs]  Gary,  Gary,  Gary,  Gary,  Gary!  [Gary  climbs  up  on  SpongeBob,  purring  and  tickling  him]  Ha,  ha!  Down,  boy!  Ha  ha!  [Patrick  comes  through  the  door] ;s1e27_3
Patrick; SpongeBob!  Are  you  ready?  Are  you  ready?  Are  you  ready? ;s1e27_4
SpongeBob; For  what? ;s1e27_5
Patrick; The  annual  jellyfish  convention  in  Ukulele  Bottom  this  weekend!  [shows  his  jellyfishing  net  off  until  he  breaks  something  and  blushes  with  embarrassment]  So,  you  ready  or  what? ;s1e27_6
SpongeBob; That  was  this  weekend?  [He  looks  up  at  Gary  who's  still  crawling  all  over  him  trying  to  tickle  him]  I  can't  go  I  don't  have  anyone  to  take  care  of  Gary! ;s1e27_7
{system}; [There's  a  knock  on  the  door.  Squidward  is  seen  outside.  The  door  opens,  but  the  first  thing  Squidward  sees  is  Gary  on  SpongeBob's  head.  He  looks  down  at  SpongeBob  and  reveals  a  pair  of  underwear.] ;s1e27_8
SpongeBob; Squidward,  could  you  watch  Gary  this  weekend? ;s1e27_9
Squidward; What's  a  Gary? ;s1e27_10
SpongeBob; Not  a  Gary.  Gary.  He's  my  pet  snail.  [shows  Gary  to  Squidward]  Say  hello!  [Gary  hisses  at  Squidward  and  drools] ;s1e27_11
SpongeBob; I  love  Gary! ;s1e27_12
Squidward; Well,  I  don't.  Get  somebody  else.  [walks  off] ;s1e27_13
SpongeBob; I  guess  we  can't  go  away  this  weekend  after  all,  Patrick.  [Squidward  stops] ;s1e27_14
Squidward; Go  away?  [walks  in  reverse  back  to  SpongeBob's  Pineapple]  You  mean,  if  I  watch  Gary,  you  guys  will  be  gone  all  weekend? ;s1e27_15
Squidward; As  in,  not  here  for  three  days? ;s1e27_16
SpongeBob; Yeah,  but  you've  already  said  you  can't  do  it,  we  understand. ;s1e27_17
Patrick; Don't  feel  bad,  Squidward.  The  three  of  us  can  still  have  our  own  jellyfish  convention  at  your  house! ;s1e27_18
Squidward; I  changed  my  mind.  You  guys  deserve  a  weekend  away. ;s1e27_19
SpongeBob; You'll  do  it?  Great!  Let  me  show  you  a  little  bit  about  snail  care.  You  need  to  take  Gary  for  a  walk  twice  a  day.  [SpongeBob  explains  the  daily  routine  with  Gary,  but  Squidward  is  busy  thinking  of  how  much  fun  he'll  have  with  SpongeBob  &  Patrick  away] ;s1e27_20
Squidward; Friday,  Saturday  and  Sunday  -  a  three-day  weekend. ;s1e27_21
SpongeBob; Let  me  show  you  how  to  feed  him.  [opens  a  cabinet  with  six  barrels  of  Gary's  food,  3  snail  food  cans  on  the  top  row  marked  morning  and  3  snail  food  cans  marked  night  on  the  bottom  row]  I  have  all  the  cans  marked,  a  can  in  the  morning  and  a  can  at  night. ;s1e27_22
Squidward; Sure  it's  enough?  [bus  drives  up  to  the  pineapple  with  other  jellyfishers  inside] ;s1e27_23
Group; [chanting]:  Jellyfishing!  Jellyfishing!  Jellyfishing!  Jellyfishing! ;s1e27_24
Patrick; The  bus  is  here!  The  bus  is  here!  [crashes  through  the  wall  and  through  the  bus  leaving  his  starfish  shape  through  each  hole]  C'mon,  SpongeBob! ;s1e27_25
Group; [all  chanting]:  Jellyfishing!  Jellyfishing!  Jellyfishing! ;s1e27_26
Squidward; [pushing  SpongeBob  out  of  the  house]  Well,  time  to  go.  Don't  want  to  be  late.  Have  fun,  bye  bye. ;s1e27_27
Squidward; I  have  the  memory  of  an  elephant,  I'll  take  good  care  of  Fred. ;s1e27_28
SpongeBob;Gary.;s1e27_29
Squidward; Right,  yeah,  right.  [SpongeBob  joins  in  the  chanting,  along  with  Patrick  and  the  group,  as  the  bus  drives  off]:  Jellyfishing,  jellyfishing,  jellyfishing...!  So  long,  losers!  [laughs]  They're  gone!  [runs  inside  his  Easter  Island  Head.  Gary  peeks  his  eyes  out  the  window] ;s1e27_30
Squidward;" [comes  out  with  shorts  on  and  his  nose  with  sunscreen  on  it  and  a  chair.  Unfolds  the  chair  and  sits  on  it]  This  is  going  to  be  the  best  three  days  of  my  life.  [sighs  and  lays  back  with  a  tanning  mirror  in  front  of  him]  I'm  going  to  do  all  the  things  I  can't  normally  do  because  of  SpongeBob.  [The  time  card  ""3  Days  Later""  appears,  and  now  Squidward  is  badly  sunburned,  The  bus  comes  back  as  the  group  is  chanting  ""jellyfishing""]  Well,  thus  ends  the  greatest  weekend  of  my  life.  No  SpongeBob,  no  Patrick,  nothing  but  me,  me,  me.  [Squidward  sees  Gary  through  the  window.  Gary  groans.  Squidward's  sunburn  drains]  [screams]  The  snail!  I  forgot  the  snail!  [runs  inside  the  pineapple  where  Gary  is  old  and  withered  on  the  floor.  Squidward  frantically  takes  him  to  the  kitchen]  I've  gotta  do  something.  [takes  all  the  cans  of  food  and  puts  it  in  his  bowl]  Okay,  okay,  okay.  Here  we  go.  Here  we  go.  Right  here.  [Squidward  frantically  throws  the  food  at  Gary  trying  to  get  him  to  eat  it]  [Gary  lip  syncing  what  Squidward's  saying]:  Eat,  eat,  eat,  eat,  eat,  eat!  You  gotta  finish  this  food! ";s1e27_31
SpongeBob; See  you  later,  Patrick. ;s1e27_32
Squidward; Come  on,  eat!  Eat!  Eat!  [SpongeBob  gets  his  house  key  out.  Squidward  has  to  decide  about  the  food]  Ohh... ;s1e27_33
SpongeBob; [sticks  the  key  in  the  hole  and  opens  the  door]  Gary!  I'm  home! ;s1e27_34
Squidward; [greets  SpongeBob  with  a  head  full  of  Gary's  food  that  he  ate]  Hi,  SpongeBob. ;s1e27_35
SpongeBob; Squidward!  What  are  you  doing  here?  [Squidward  swallows  all  the  food] ;s1e27_36
Squidward; Oh,  just  checking  up  on  old  Gary  for  you. ;s1e27_37
SpongeBob; What  a  great  friend  you  are,  Squidward. ;s1e27_38
Squidward; So,  uhh,  well,  see  you.  Goodbye. ;s1e27_39
 Incidental  116 ; Yes,  yes,  it's  just  as  I  thought. ;s1e27_40
SpongeBob;What?;s1e27_41
 Incidental  116 ; This  is  definitely  a  snail. ;s1e27_42
SpongeBob; I  knew  it!  Oh,  Squid,  did  you  hear  that? ;s1e27_43
 Incidental  116 ; Therefore,  a  shot  of  snail  plasma  must  be  carefully  administered.  Here  you  go.  [hands  the  syringe  to  SpongeBob] ;s1e27_44
SpongeBob; Aren't  you  going  to  do  it? ;s1e27_45
 Incidental  116 ; Oh  no,  no,  no,  no,  no,  no,  no,  no.  I'm  too  squeamish.  [Incidental  116  leaves.  Squidward  runs  after  him] ;s1e27_46
Squidward; Uhh,  hey,  doc,  let  me  help  you  with  your  bag  there. ;s1e27_47
SpongeBob; Squid,  wait!  I  can't  give  Gary  his  plasma.  I'm  squeamish  too. ;s1e27_48
Squidward; Aww,  SpongeBob,  I  don't  want  to  do...  [Gary  moans  and  coughs  badly] ;s1e27_49
SpongeBob;Gary!;s1e27_50
Squidward; Okay,  okay!  I'll  do  it.  [takes  the  shot] ;s1e27_51
SpongeBob; Now,  don't  hurt  him,  Squidward.  Okay,  steady.  [Squidward  tries  to  give  Gary  the  shot  but  SpongeBob  pulls  him  away]  Wait,  that's  too  hard!  Okay,  okay,  okay,  try  it  again.  [Squidward  tries  again,  but  SpongeBob  pulls  Gary  away  once  again]  Wait!  [pulls  Gary  away  again]  Wait!  [Squidward  keeps  trying  but  gets  the  same  result  every  time]  Wait,  wait! ;s1e27_52
Squidward; [stammers]  Will  you  hold  him  still? ;s1e27_53
SpongeBob; Wait,  wait,  wait!  Wait,  wait,  wait! ;s1e27_54
Squidward; [stammers]  Will  you  hold  him  still?!  [accidentally  injects  the  snail  plasma  shot  in  SpongeBob's  nose] ;s1e27_55
SpongeBob; Ouch!  Uh,  Squidward,  you've  injected  me  with  snail  plasma. ;s1e27_56
Squidward; Well,  you  made  me  do  it!  [removes  the  shot] ;s1e27_57
SpongeBob; What's  going  to  happen  to  me? ;s1e27_58
Squidward; Oh,  nothing,  it's  just  a  little  snail  plasma. ;s1e27_59
SpongeBob; I  don't  know,  I  feel  kind  of  funny! ;s1e27_60
Squidward; I'm  telling  you,  it's  all  in  your  head! ;s1e27_61
{system}; [Gary  crawls  to  his  water  bowl  to  get  a  drink.  After  drinking  the  water,  he  gargles,  clears  his  throat,  and  meows  normally  again.] ;s1e27_62
Squidward; He  just  needed  water? ;s1e27_63
SpongeBob; Oh,  Gary,  you're  better!  [hugs  him] ;s1e27_64
SpongeBob; Squidward,  wait,  the  snail  plasma! ;s1e27_65
Gary;Meow.;s1e27_66
Gary; [jumps  up]  Meow!  [SpongeBob  pours  food  into  Gary's  bowl,  but  decides  to  see  what  it  tastes  like.  He  likes  it  so  he  eats  all  of  it.  Then  walks  to  Gary  with  the  empty  bowl] ;s1e27_67
SpongeBob; Here  ya  go.  Eat  up,  Gary. ;s1e27_68
SpongeBob; Sorry,  Gary,  I  couldn't  control  myself.  [burps]  Meow.  Why  did  I  just  do  that?  Am  I  cracking  up? ;s1e27_69
Gary;Meow.;s1e27_70
SpongeBob; No,  no,  Squidward's  right.  I'm  fine.  I-  I  worry  too  much.  It's  all  in  my  head.  I  feel  tip-top!  [SpongeBob  begins  to  walk  out  of  the  kitchen.  His  feet  make  loud  pounding  noises  as  they  hit  the  floor,  and  he  begins  to  go  slower  and  slower.  Soon  Gary  is  going  faster  than  he  is.] ;s1e27_71
SpongeBob; Gary,  you're  getting  a  [voice  slows,  lowers]  lot  faster!  [SpongeBob  sluggishly  walks  into  the  bathroom,  and  Gary  follows  him.  He  looks  in  the  mirror,  and  his  voice  echoes  as  he  speaks.] ;s1e27_72
SpongeBob; Look  at  me.  Never  better.  [He  yelps  as  dramatic  music  begins  to  play  in  the  background.  His  head  begins  to  throb,  and  his  pores  begin  to  grow  and  shrink,  before  returning  to  normal.]  I'm  okay!  Squidward  said  I'm  fine!  [What  he  doesn't  realize  is  that  the  worst  is  yet  to  come.  His  eyes  bug  out  of  his  head,  causing  him  to  yell.  The  camera  rotates  around  so  we  can  get  a  side  view  of  SpongeBob.  He  blinks,  and  his  eyes  briefly  pop  back  into  his  head  and  return  to  normal.  But  this  relief  only  lasts  for  about  half  a  second.  Then,  his  eyes  bulge  out  even  farther  than  before,  and  it  looks  very  unnatural.  They  bulge  for  a  while,  and  then  they  begin  to  transform,  taking  the  shape  and  form  of  snail's  eyes,  with  stalks.  The  sight  causes  SpongeBob's  jaw  to  drop,  and  he  screams  louder.  SpongeBob  stares  in  the  bathroom  mirror  at  his  brand-new  eyestalks,  which  now  have  skin  and  eyelids  around  them.  He  turns  to  Gary.] ;s1e27_73
SpongeBob; Gary...  I'm  fine!  [But  SpongeBob  is  not  fine.  Gary  watches  in  horror  as  his  owner  falls  onto  his  hands  and  knees,  straining  in  pain.] ;s1e27_74
SpongeBob; [in  so  much  pain  that  he  is  barely  comprehensible]  Yyyyyy-yyyooooou'll  see.  [grunts  and  strains  as  his  hand  and  arm  slowly  retract  into  his  sleeve,  which  then  pops  off  and  bounces  away]  That's  okay,  I'm  a  lefty  anyway!  [Despite  his  left  hand  falling  off,  causing  an  error]  [Then,  SpongeBob's  feet  and  legs  retract  into  his  pants.] ;s1e27_75
SpongeBob; [laughs  nervously]  Ha!  Now  I  don't  have  to  buy  those  new  shoes!  [his  body  shortens  up  like  a  snail  and  he  screams]  I  take  it  back,  Gary.  Something  is  wrong  with  meeeee  [he  loses  the  ability  to  talk  and  completes  his  snail  transformation]  ow! ;s1e27_76
Squidward; [in  his  bed  with  his  clarinet]  I  hope  I  never  see  another  snail  again.  Good  night,  Clary.  [a  knock  is  heard  on  the  door  and  the  doorbell  rings]  Who  could  that  be?  As  if  I  didn't  already  know.  [Camera  goes  to  Squidward�s  front  door.  Squidward  turns  on  the  light,  walks  to  the  door,  and  opens  it]  SpongeBob,  I  already  told  you.  You're  gonna  be  just--  [attempts  to  say  �fine,�  but  hesitates  and  shouts  almost  hysterically.  SpongeBob  is  now  a  fully  breaded  snail.] ;s1e27_77
SpongeBob;Meow!;s1e27_78
Squidward;[screams];s1e27_79
SpongeBob; Meow!  Meow.  [Squidward  touches  SpongeBob's  left  eye  and  it  curls  up] ;s1e27_80
Squidward; [screams  and  runs  back  inside  shutting  the  door] ;s1e27_81
Squidward; SpongeBob?  Oh,  Neptune,  what  have  I  done?  [picks  up  the  snail  plasma  syringe]  It's  all  your  fault!  [throws  it  away]  Okay,  okay,  okay,  okay,  get  it  together,  Squidward. ;s1e27_82
SpongeBob; Meow!  [Squidward  screams  in  horror  and  puts  boards  and  nails  on  his  door.  Turns  around  and  SpongeBob  is  at  his  window]  Meow.  Meow.  [Squidward  screams  in  horror]  Meow!  [Squidward  puts  more  boards  on  his  window,  but  SpongeBob  squeezes  through  the  boards  holes]  Meow.  Meow.  [Squidward  screams  and  runs  into  his  closet] ;s1e27_83
Squidward; None  of  this  would  be  happening  if  I'd  only  fed  that  snail! ;s1e27_84
{system}; [SpongeBob  squeezes  in  from  under  the  door,  and  meows.  Squidward  screams  and  runs  through  his  door,  SpongeBob  meows,  Squidward  runs  up  and  down  his  ceiling,  screaming  and  mumbling,  while  SpongeBob  keeps  meowing  at  him.  Outside,  his  house  is  bouncing  from  side  to  side  until  it  flips  on  its  side  completely.  Everything  is  broken  and  torn  inside.  Squidward  sits  up,  but  is  injected  with  the  snail  plasma  through  his  nose] ;s1e27_85
Squidward;Uh-oh!;s1e27_86
{system};" [Cut  to  a  scene  showing  the  full  moon.  Now  SpongeBob,  Squidward,  and  Gary  are  on  a  fence  singing  ""Blow  the  Man  Down""] ";s1e27_87
Gary; Meow  [C],  meow  [D],  meow  [C],  meow  [A],  meow  [F]. ;s1e27_88
SpongeBob; Meow  [A],  meow  [C],  meow  [D],  meow  [C],  meow  [A]. ;s1e27_89
Gary; [Off-screen]  Meow  [C],  meow  [D],  meow  [C],  meow  [A],  meow  [F]. ;s1e27_90
Patrick; [opens  his  rock,  wearing  pajamas  with  an  angry  look  on  his  face]  Will  you  clam  up?!  [throws  a  boot] ;s1e27_91
SpongeBob; [Off-screen  at  the  same  time]  Meow  [A],  meow  [C],  meow  [D],  meow  [C],  meow  [A]. ;s1e27_92
Squidward; Meow  [C],  me-  [D]  Ommf!  [boot  knocks  him  off  the  fence  and  he  lands  with  a  crash] ;s1e27_93
Squidward; Meow  [D],  meow  [D],  meow  [D],  meow  [D],  meow  [C],  meow  [A],  meow  [G],  meow  [A],  meow  [F]. ;s1e27_94
Voice; SB-129.  [episode  starts] ;s1e28_1
 French  Narrator ; Ah,  it  is  Sunday  morning  in  Bikini  Bottom,  and  it  is  about  time  for  Squidward  to  practice  his  clarinet.  So  get  your  ear  plugs  ready. ;s1e28_2
Squidward; [kisses  his  clarinet]  I  think  I'll  treat  Bikini  Bottom  to  some  real  music.  [He  gets  ready  to  play  his  clarinet,  and  then  SpongeBob's  alarm  clock  goes  off,  sending  Squidward's  clarinet  into  his  throat]  Yow!  [Struggles  to  dislodge  the  clarinet  out  of  his  throat.] ;s1e28_3
SpongeBob; Good  morning,  Squidward!  Wanna  go  jellyfishing?  [Squidward  tries  to  yell,  but  his  clarinet  sounds  every  time  he  tries  to  talk]  Great!  We'll  be  right  over!  [Squidward  pulls  the  clarinet  out  of  his  throat.  Door  knocks  are  heard] ;s1e28_4
Squidward; I  wonder  who  that  could  be.  [Squidward  opens  the  door] ;s1e28_5
SpongeBob; Ready  to  go? ;s1e28_6
Squidward;" No,  I'm  not  ""ready  to  go!""  [slams  the  door] ";s1e28_7
Patrick; He  doesn't  wanna  play  with  us. ;s1e28_8
Squidward; No!  [slams  door.  Then  he  goes  back  to  try  to  play  clarinet  is  interrupted  once  again  by  yet  another  knock  at  door.  Squidward  gets  angry.] ;s1e28_9
SpongeBob; How  about  now? ;s1e28_10
Squidward; No!  [slams  the  door.  The  knock  on  the  door  is  heard  again]  Huh?  [opens  door] ;s1e28_11
Squidward; No!  [slams  the  door.  Another  knock  on  the  door  and  he  opens  it] ;s1e28_12
SpongeBob;Now?;s1e28_13
Squidward; No!  [slams  door,  then  opens  it] ;s1e28_14
SpongeBob; How  about  now? ;s1e28_15
SpongeBob;Now?;s1e28_16
Squidward; No!  [slams  door,  then  opens  it] ;s1e28_17
SpongeBob;Now?;s1e28_18
Squidward; No!  [slams  door,  then  opens  it] ;s1e28_19
SpongeBob;Now?;s1e28_20
Squidward; No!  [slams  door,  then  opens  it] ;s1e28_21
SpongeBob;Now?;s1e28_22
Squidward; No!  [slams  door,  then  opens  it]  No!  [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  are  gone  and  they  approach  Squidward  from  behind.  SpongeBob  taps  his  shoulder]  What?! ;s1e28_23
SpongeBob; Ready  yet? ;s1e28_24
Squidward; No,  I'm  not  ready!  I'll  never  be  ready!  Don't  you  get  it?! ;s1e28_25
SpongeBob; Sure  we  do. ;s1e28_26
Squidward; What?  [stammers]  D'oh...!  [shuts  the  door  and  leaves  his  house,  then  realizes  he's  outside.  He  runs  back  to  his  door  and  knocks.  SpongeBob  opens  it] ;s1e28_27
Squidward; Out!  Sheesh!  Shouldn't  you  be  at  work  today,  SpongeBob?! ;s1e28_28
SpongeBob; I'd  love  to  be  at  work  today!  But  it's  Sunday  the  Krusty  Krab  is  closed.  [Squidward  gets  an  idea] ;s1e28_29
Squidward; Hold  on  a  second.  I'll  be  right  out.  [closes  the  door.  Squidward  tiptoes  out  the  other  way  of  his  house  to  the  Krusty  Krab,  and  enters]  Hello...?  [silence]  Ahh,  alone  at  last.  [tries  to  play  his  clarinet,  but  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  are  heard  outside] ;s1e28_30
SpongeBob; Well,  he's  not  here.  I'll  bet  that  eager-beaver's  already  down  at  Jellyfish  Fields! ;s1e28_31
Squidward; A-ha!  They're  finally  gone!  [tries  to  open  the  freezer,  but  it's  locked  from  the  inside!]  What  the...?  [tries  to  open  it  multiple  times]  Locked?!  Oh  no!  Oh...  well,  someone  will  realize  I'm  gone  and  come  looking  for  me.  I'll  be  out  of  here  in  no  time. ;s1e28_32
 French  Narrator ; 2,000  years  later... ;s1e28_33
{system}; [the  scene  shows  Squidward  still  inside  the  freezer,  frozen  the  hinges  are  rusty,  and  they  fall  off  the  door  falls  with  Squidward  frozen  behind  it  SpongeTron  flies  past  and  then  back  to  Squidward] ;s1e28_34
SpongeTron; Holy  Krabby  Patties!  A  frozen  cephalopod!  [SpongeTron  grabs  a  chrome  hammer  from  the  hammer  comes  a  red  laser,  which  melts  the  ice  and  hits  Squidward's  buttocks  Squidward  screams] ;s1e28_35
Squidward; [trancelike]  I'll  be  out  of  here  in  no  time. ;s1e28_36
SpongeTron; Greetings,  primitive. ;s1e28_37
Squidward; Sp...SpongeBob?  Is  that  you? ;s1e28_38
SpongeTron; SpongeBob?  No!  [robot  voice]  I  am  SpongeTron.  [normal  voice]  Welcome  to  the  future! ;s1e28_39
SpongeTron; Welcome  to  the  future! ;s1e28_40
Squidward; Uh,  the  future...  [notices  everything's  chrome]  Huh?!  O-okay,  uh,  what's  going  on  here?  Why  is  everything...  chrome? ;s1e28_41
SpongeTron; Everything  is  chrome  in  the  future! ;s1e28_42
Squidward; Wha...?  [stammers  and  runs  to  look  outside  a  window]  Oh,  my...  [notices  the  chrome  environment.  The  screen  pans  around  the  chrome  environment.]  Impossible!  He's  lying! ;s1e28_43
{system}; [A  flower  pops  up  from  underground,  then  a  truck  comes,  Incidental  119  gets  out  of  the  truck,  runs  up  to  the  flower,  sprays  it  with  chrome  spray  paint,  then  runs  back  in  the  truck  and  drives  away.  Squidward  looks  at  the  screen.] ;s1e28_44
Squidward; [Looks  away  from  the  window]  He's  right! ;s1e28_45
SpongeTron; Of  course  I'm  right,  Squidward!  Just  ask  my  clones:  SpongeTrons  X,  Y,  and  Z.  [Squidward  flinches  as  a  trio  of  SpongeTron  clones  have  suddenly  appeared  next  to  them] ;s1e28_46
Squidward; Are  the  other  letters  of  the  alphabet  involved  here? ;s1e28_47
SpongeTron; Sure!  All  486  of  them!  [A  calendar  on  the  wall  says  March  6,  4017  A.D.  This  means  Squidward  entered  the  freezer  on  March  6,  2017.  Squidward  does  a  few  sit-ups  while  he  talks  as  if  he  is  trying  to  wake  up] ;s1e28_48
Squidward; [Lays  down  and  starts  doing  sit-ups]  Future!  Future!  Future!  Future!  [SpongeTron  drops  a  brick  on  Squidward's  head]  Thanks.  Now  listen!  All  of  you!  I  don't  belong  here.  This  is  all  a  horrible  mistake!  Please,  we've  got  to  do  something! ;s1e28_49
SpongeTrons; [pull  out  jellyfishing  nets]  Jellyfishing!  [a  two-headed  Patrick  appears  out  of  nowhere] ;s1e28_50
PatTron;" Did  somebody  say,  ""jellyfishing""? ";s1e28_51
SpongeTron; Hi,  PatTron! ;s1e28_52
Squidward; J-just  listen  to  me!  I'm  not  supposed  to  be  here!  I've  gotta  get  home  to  my  own  time  period!  I've  gotta  go! ;s1e28_53
SpongeTron;" Well,  why  didn't  you  just  ask?  The  time  machine  is  down  the  hall,  to  the  left.  [Squidward  runs  to  the  door,  laughs  and  enters,  but  the  sound  of  a  can-opener  being  used  is  heard.  Squidward  steps  out  and  is  torn  into  pieces,  now  appearing  like  a  spring-shaped  patch  of  skin]  Oops!  Oh,  yeah,  that  one's  the  can  opener...  but  try  the  one  on  the  right.  [Squidward  tries  the  door  on  the  right  and  enters  a  pink  and  green  room  that  has  a  slot-looking  machine  that  says  ""past""  and  ""future""  with  a  key  near  the  slot] ";s1e28_54
Squidward;" Well,  I  wouldn't've  chosen  this  interior...  [notices  time-travel  handle]  Oh,  what's  this?  Well,  if  SpongeBob  exists  in  the  future,  I'd  better  go  to  the  past!  [Squidward  turns  the  key  and  puts  the  lever  on  ""past.""  Siren  goes  off  as  time  machine  disappears  from  where  it  used  to  be  in  the  Krusty  Krab.  SpongeTron  waves  at  Squidward.  The  door  and  the  wall  fly  through  a  hyperspace-like  warp,  then  the  time  machine  appears  in  a  primitive  Bikini  Bottom.] ";s1e28_55
Squidward; [looks  out  and  sees  an  Ammonite  swim  by.  Whales  calls  can  be  heard]  Wow,  primitive.  Has  sort  of  an  old-world  charm.  [a  snake-like  creature  swims  by  really  close  to  Squidward's  face]  Whoa!  I  guess  this  is  before  manners  were  invented!  Well,  at  least  there's  no  sign  of  SpongeBrat.  Maybe  now  I  can  finally  be  alone  with  my  clarinet.  [hears  a  noise,  turns  around,  but  some  shadow  quickly  hides.  He  hears  another  noise  and  checks  again,  but  a  different  shadow  hides]  Huh?  [one  of  the  shadow  figures  swing  from  tree  to  tree]  Huh?  What?!  [a  shadow  figure  hides  behind  a  tree]  Huh!?  [the  other  shadow  figure  hides  behind  a  ledge.  Squidward  keeps  walking  and  then  notices  a  Prehistoric  Sponge  on  the  ground]  SpongeBob?  [Primate  Sponge  screams]  Stay  back!  [Primate  Sponge  touches  Squidward's  arm  and  then  sniffs  his  finger  from  what  he  touched.  Tries  to  give  some  to  Squidward]  Uh,  no  thanks.  [Squidward  feels  someone  breathing  on  him  and  he  turns  and  notices  a  Prehistoric  Starfish  breathing  on  him.  Prehistoric  Starfish  smiles  and  reveals  nasty,  rotten  teeth]  Uh,  hi  there.  Well,  I  better  be  going  now.  [Prehistoric  Sponge  grabs  Squidward's  tentacle]  Yes,  that's  my  arm.  [Prehistoric  Sponge  puts  Squidward's  arm  on  his  head  and  Prehistoric  Starfish  licks  his  hand]  Oh,  that's  sweet.  [Prehistoric  Starfish  gets  scared  he  smashes  on  the  ground  and  gets  the  shivers]  What,  is  it  time  for  your  flea  bath  now?  [a  jellyfish  swims  by  and  Prehistoric  Starfish  ducks  for  protection]  Oh,  look,  it's  just  a  little  jellyfish.  [Primate  Sponge  and  Prehistoric  Starfish  run  around  screaming]  Well,  I'm  going  away  now.  [Squidward  walks  away]  Ah,  here's  a  nice,  shady  spot,  away  from  those  fools! ;s1e28_56
{system}; [Squidward  plays  his  clarinet  and  each  time  he  tries  to  play,  Primate  Sponge  or  Prehistoric  Starfish  holler,  who  are  each  giving  a  turn  at  holding  the  jellyfish] ;s1e28_57
Squidward;" What  are  you  simpletons  doing?!  You're  supposed  to  catch  these  things,  not  torture  yourself  with  them!  [Primate  Sponge  and  Prehistoric  Starfish  are  confused]  Give  me  those  loincloths!  [Primate  Sponge  and  Prehistoric  Starfish  tear  off  a  piece  of  their  loincloth]  I  can't  believe  it.  [mumbles  to  self.  Crafts  the  loincloth  jellyfishing  nets.  Shows  them  the  nets.]  This  oughta  make  things  go  a  little  smoother!  [gives  Primate  Sponge  and  Prehistoric  Starfish  their  nets.  They  put  the  nets  on  their  lips.  Squidward  facepalms  and  grabs  the  nets  back]  Give  me  those  things!  You're  supposed  to  catch  them,  like  this!  [Squidward  catches  the  jellyfish  in  one  of  the  loincloth  nets]  It's  called  jellyfishing.  [Primate  SpongeBob  and  Prehistoric  Starfish  grab  the  nets  and  chase  the  jellyfish]  Ah,  finally.  [sits  on  the  ground  and  plays  his  clarinet.  Primate  Sponge  and  Prehistoric  Starfish  hear  it,  go  berserk  and  chase  Squidward.  Squidward  runs  into  the  time  machine  as  Primate  Sponge  and  Prehistoric  Starfish  try  to  get  in  by  climbing  on  top  of  it  Squidward  screams]  Get  me  outta  here!  [frantically  jams  lever  up  and  down  and  accidentally  snaps  it  off]  Uh-oh.  [the  word  FUTURE  spins  like  a  slot  machine,  and  stops  on  2  lemons  and  a  ""BAR""] ";s1e28_58
TimeMachine;Loser!;s1e28_59
{system};" [Primate  Sponge  and  Prehistoric  Starfish  are  banging  on  the  time  machine  trying  to  get  to  Squidward  until  it  disappears  into  thin-air.  The  time  machine  shakes  from  the  inside,  with  Squidward  scared.  The  camera  zooms  in,  with  a  ""paint""  effect,  then  the  camera  is  on  Squidward's  face,  and  a  color  change  effect  goes  off  as  Squidward  mouths  the  line  ""What's  going  on?""  without  audible  dialogue.  The  screen  flashes  white,  and  the  time  machine  goes  through  all  sorts  of  dimensions,  with  one  with  a  computer-like  area,  then  the  time  machine  folds  like  paper,  and  it  vanishes  with  a  zap  sound.] ";s1e28_60
{system}; [Squidward  appears  in  a  blank,  white  space.  He  walks  around,  and  hears  a  strange  voice.  He  then  notices  some  colored  tiles  and  lifts  one  up  and  it  floats  and  vanishes] ;s1e28_61
Squidward;" He's  not  here.  No  more  SpongeBob.  No  more!  I  may  finally  have  found  a  place  where  I  can  be  all...  [Squidward  becomes  tiny]  ...alone!  [a  bunch  of  ""alone""  sayings  appear  with  a  different  voice  as  each  comes  up] ";s1e28_62
Voices;" Alone!  Alone!  Alone!  Alone!  Alone!  Alone!  Alone!  Alone!  Alone!  Alone!  Alone!  Alone!  Alone!  Alone!  Alone!  [Continuous  ""Alone""  chanting  is  heard,  as  the  screen  continuously  gets  smaller  and  smaller] ";s1e28_63
Squidward;" [is  now  suddenly  closer  to  the  camera]  I  gotta  get  outta  of  here!  [Squidward  tries  to  run,  but  he  runs  off  and  on  the  scene.  He  stops  and  tries  to  catch  his  breath.  A  strange  voice  is  heard  again,  he  holds  his  head,  sweats  a  little,  and  runs  again  off  and  on  the  scene.  He  stops  running  after  three  tries  to  get  out,  yet  another  strange  voice  is  heard  when  he  stops]  Where's  the  time  machine?!  Where's  anything?!  Where,  where,  where,  where?!  [jumps  up  and  down  angrily  and  busts  a  hole  through  the  ground  into  the  time  machine.  The  handle  is  still  broken  off.  Squidward  bangs  on  the  broken  controls  and  sobs]  I  wanna  go  home!  I  wanna  go  home!  I  wanna  go  home!  I  wanna  go  home!  I  miss  Bikini  Bottom!  I  miss  my  Easter  Island  head!  I  even  miss  SpongeBob!  [right  when  Squidward  says  ""SpongeBob,""  the  time  machine  disappears  and  reappears  in  present  time  Bikini  Bottom  where  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  are  still  waiting  for  Squidward  in  front  of  his  house]  SpongeBob!  Patrick! ";s1e28_64
Squidward; Oh,  I'm  back!  I  can't  believe  this.  I-I-I  was  in  space,  a-and  I  went  to  the  future,  and-and  then  I  went  to  the  past,  and-and  then-then  I  was  nowhere,  but  now  I'm  back,  and-and...  you  don't  know  how  happy  I  am  to  see  you  guys. ;s1e28_65
Patrick;Jellyfishing?;s1e28_66
SpongeBob; You  are,  Squidward!  [They  laugh  as  the  scene  cuts  to  Bikini  Atoll  on  the  surface] ;s1e28_67
Squidward; I'm  going  back.  [The  episode  ends.] ;s1e28_68
{system}; [The  episode  begins  with  SpongeBob  lurking  around,  heading  home,  looking  for  Sandy  because  they  are  playing  karate.  He  suspects  the  pineapple  of  being  Sandy] ;s1e29_1
SpongeBob; Hi-yah!  Oh,  sorry,  pineapple  house.  I  thought  you  were  someone  else.  [walks  inside]  Ah,  what  a  great  day  at  work.  [hears  something]  Huh?  Yeah...  [tip  toes  over  to  the  couch,  but  makes  duck  sounds  as  he  tip  toes.  He  realizes  he's  been  stepping  on  three  squeaky  toy  ducks,  and  in  frustration,  he  kicks  them  away.  Then  he  runs  in  front  of  his  couch]  I  know  you're  back  there,  Sandy!  And  I  also  know  that  nobody  can  hide  from  Sponge...  [jumps  behind  the  couch  and  no  one  is  there]  ...Bob.  [has  his  back  to  the  couch  while  he  squeezes  his  eyes  through  the  couch  looking  for  Sandy.  When  he  thinks  he  has  spotted  her,  he  runs  out  from  behind  the  couch  and  in  front  of  the  TV]  I  got  you  now!  Hi-yah!  [no  one  is  there,  so  he  sits  on  the  couch  and  watches  TV]  Well,  I  guess  the  coast  is  clear. ;s1e29_2
TV;" [shows  a  royal  gramma  fish]  Yeah,  shopping's  weird.  Did  you  ever  go  into  the  seafood  aisle  and  say  �Who  eats  this  stuff""?  [TV  audience  laughs] ";s1e29_3
SpongeBob; [laughs  too]  I  love  this  show!  [Sandy  is  sitting  next  to  SpongeBob] ;s1e29_4
Sandy; Me  too!  [SpongeBob  screams  and  begins  to  fight] ;s1e29_5
SpongeBob; Hi-yah!  [Sandy  puts  on  her  green  karate  gear] ;s1e29_6
Sandy; Hi-yah!  [SpongeBob  high-kicks  in  slow-motion] ;s1e29_7
SpongeBob; Hi-yah!  [Sandy  runs  off  then  drives  forward,  but  SpongeBob  jumps  his  upper  half  of  his  body  to  avoid  Sandy]  Uhh,  just  a  second.  [runs  off,  but  returns  with  his  red  karate  gear  on]  Safety  first!  [he  winks]  And  now,  spin  technique!  [spins  around  and  lunges  towards  Sandy] ;s1e29_8
SpongeBob; Double  overhand  squirrel  knot!  [turns  her  into  a  round  knot  and  throws  her  through  the  door  like  a  bowling  ball] ;s1e29_9
Sandy; I'm  gonna  get  you  tomorrow,  SpongeBob! ;s1e29_10
SpongeBob; That'll  be  the  day.  Whoop,  whoop,  whoop,  whoop,  whoop,  whoop,  whoop!  [spins  his  arms  and  legs  around.  The  scene  fades  over  to  nighttime  at  Sandy's  treedome.  Sandy  hums  while  reading  a  book  when  the  phone  rings.] ;s1e29_11
SpongeBob; Hey,  Sandy,  have  you  ever  heard  the  one  about  the  squirrel  and  the  tin  cans? ;s1e29_12
Sandy; I  don't  think  so. ;s1e29_13
SpongeBob; Well,  it  goes  like  this!  [stretches  his  arm  to  ricochet  off  a  shelf  and  the  ceiling  to  come  at  Sandy]  Oh,  wait,  I  forgot  the  punch  line.  [His  arm  stops  right  before  hitting  Sandy.]  Oh,  yeah!  [hits  the  loose  board  on  the  floor,  sending  Sandy  into  a  pile  of  tin  cans.  He  laughs.]  That's  a  good  one,  isn't  it?  [Bubble  transition  to  SpongeBob  walking  down  the  road]  What  a  beautiful  day.  Beautiful  sky.  Beautiful  plants.  Hi  plants.  Beautiful...  [sees  a  pile  of  tin  cans  on  the  ground]  pile  of  cans?  Mmm,  mmm,  Sandy,  that  is  your  worst  disguise  yet.  [He  puts  on  karate  gear] ;s1e29_14
Sandy; No  it's  not,  SpongeBob.  [shows  him  a  squirrel  mask]  This  is!  [jumps  in  front  of  SpongeBob]  Now,  prepare  for  a  long,  merciless  whooping!  [grabs  SpongeBob's  tongue  and  takes  out  a  bottle  of  hot  Volcano  Sauce]  Mmmm,  my  favorite. ;s1e29_15
VolcanoSauceDrop; Eheheheheheh!  [cut  to  SpongeBob's  confused  face,  and  then  back  to  the  Volcano  Sauce  Drop]  By  the  powers  of  naughtiness,  I  command  this  particular  drop  of  hot  sauce  to  be  really...  really...  hot! ;s1e29_16
{system}; [SpongeBob  gasps.] ;s1e29_17
SpongeBob; Sandy!  Wait!  Victory  is  yours. ;s1e29_18
Sandy; I  knew  you'd  come  to  your  senses,  SpongeBob. ;s1e29_19
{system};" [Sandy  drinks  the  bottle  of  hot  sauce.  While  she  is  doing  this,  SpongeBob  takes  out  his  tongue  revealing  a  label  that  says  ""Novelty  Toy""  and  he  wraps  the  fake  tongue  she  was  holding  around  her  and  spins  her] ";s1e29_20
SpongeBob;Yah.;s1e29_21
{system}; [Sandy  karate  chops  SpongeBob  far  away] ;s1e29_22
Sandy;Hi-yah!;s1e29_23
SpongeBob; Curses!  [Now  at  the  Krusty  Krab,  the  line  is  very  long] ;s1e29_24
Fred; With  extra  cheese.  To  go! ;s1e29_25
Squidward; Three  patties,  four  large  oyster  skins,  on  the  double,  SpongeBob!  [SpongeBob  is  still  wearing  his  karate  gear] ;s1e29_26
SpongeBob; Oh  yeah.  Gotcha!  [SpongeBob  opens  a  door] ;s1e29_27
SpongeBob; What?  [karate  chops  Squidward's  face] ;s1e29_28
Squidward; I'm  going  to  pretend  that  didn't  happen.  [throws  two  pieces  of  paper  at  SpongeBob]  Now  fill  these  orders  or  leave,  SpongeBob.  We're  very  busy  today!  [SpongeBob  runs  out  of  the  kitchen  with  tray  of  patties  in  his  hands] ;s1e29_29
SpongeBob; Order  up.  [stops  as  he  sees  a  customer  karate  chopping  a  fly.  The  customer  turns  into  Sandy  who  is  in  her  gear  and  winks  at  SpongeBob] ;s1e29_30
 Mr.  Krabs ; Oh,  Squidward.  I  was  going  through  some  records  back  in  me  office  and--Huh?  So,  you  got  the  hairpiece  after  all. ;s1e29_31
SpongeBob;Hi-yah!;s1e29_32
Fred; [under  the  floor]  My  leg! ;s1e29_33
SpongeBob; Thought  you  could  sneak  up  on  me  at  work,  did  ya?  Well,  you  can't!  �Cause  I'm  fast,  I'm  mean,  and  I  can  do  this!  [does  something  with  his  hands]  Ssss!  [Points  at  Fred,  then  walks  backwards]  Took  care  of  her,  yes  I  did.  [bumps  into  Mr.  Krabs]  Oh,  ahoy,  sir! ;s1e29_34
 Mr.  Krabs ; What  was  that? ;s1e29_35
SpongeBob; But,  sir,  she  snuck  up  on  me.  In  my  own  dojo. ;s1e29_36
 Mr.  Krabs ; Are  you  on  some  new  allergy  medication,  boy? ;s1e29_37
SpongeBob; No,  sir.  Just  practicing  my  karate,  sir.  Or  kara-tay,  as  some  call  it. ;s1e29_38
 Mr.  Krabs ; Kara-tay?  You  should  be  making  me  money-ay!  With  your  spatu-lae!  Now  get  back  to  work. ;s1e29_39
Squidward; SpongeBob,  did  you  get  those  bathrooms  mopped  yet?  [SpongeBob  is  staring  at  his  hands] ;s1e29_40
SpongeBob; Yes,  ma'am.  I  mean,  sir.  I  mean,  boss.  I  mean,  poobah! ;s1e29_41
Squidward; [frustrated]  Go! ;s1e29_42
{system}; [SpongeBob  walks  into  the  bathroom  with  a  mop  and  a  bucket  in  his  hands.  He  hears  a  sneeze,  so  he  opens  a  door,  but  nobody  is  there] ;s1e29_43
SpongeBob; Hah!  [opens  the  next  stall  door  and  jumps  in  it]  Sandy!  [Mr.  Krabs  walks  out  of  the  stall  with  SpongeBob  in  his  hand] ;s1e29_44
 Mr.  Krabs ; No  more. ;s1e29_45
SpongeBob; But,  Mr.  Krabs.  [Mr.  Krabs  grabs  a  hold  of  SpongeBob's  mouth] ;s1e29_46
 Mr.  Krabs ; Shh!  No  more  of  this  karate  stuff,  lad.  Or  you're  fired.  [lets  go  of  his  mouth  and  walks  away] ;s1e29_47
SpongeBob; [high-pitched  voice]  Fired?  [walks  out]  No  more  karate?  How  am  I  gonna  tell  Sandy? ;s1e29_48
Sandy; Hi-yah!  [jumps  at  SpongeBob  and  starts  karate  chopping  him] ;s1e29_49
SpongeBob; Sandy,  wait!  I  can't.  Mr.  Krabs  said  I  have  to  give  up  karate. ;s1e29_50
Sandy; [stops]  Uh-huh.  Sure,  SpongeBob.  [Sandy  karate  chops  him  again] ;s1e29_51
SpongeBob; No,  no.  Really,  Sandy.  Stop. ;s1e29_52
Sandy; [stops]  I'm  not  falling  for  it,  SpongeBob!  [karate  chops  him  even  more] ;s1e29_53
SpongeBob; No,  really!  Please,  stop!  [Mr.  Krabs  looks  out  the  window] ;s1e29_54
 Mr.  Krabs ; What  the?  [walks  outside]  SpongeBob!  [SpongeBob  screams] ;s1e29_55
SpongeBob; Ahh,  Mr.  Krabs! ;s1e29_56
 Mr.  Krabs ; What  did  I  just  get  through  telling  ye,  lad? ;s1e29_57
SpongeBob; But  I,  uhh,  she... ;s1e29_58
 Mr.  Krabs ; SpongeBob,  you're  fired! ;s1e29_59
Sandy;Huh?;s1e29_60
SpongeBob; [high-pitched  voice]  Fired?  [his  face  gets  smaller  until  it's  not  there  anymore] ;s1e29_61
 Mr.  Krabs ;Eh?;s1e29_62
Sandy; SpongeBob?  [SpongeBob's  face  reappears  and  he  then  bursts  out  crying  and  runs  everywhere]  Wait,  Mr.  Krabs,  it's  not  his  fault!  It's-  it's  mine!  He  tried  to  tell  me,  but  I  wouldn't  listen!  [SpongeBob  is  crying  into  a  cup  and  drinking  his  tears.  Now  he's  flipping  over  and  over  around  Sandy  and  Mr.  Krabs]  Give  him  another  chance,  please? ;s1e29_63
 Mr.  Krabs ; Hmmm.  [grabs  SpongeBob  as  he  runs]  All  right,  me  boy,  I'll  give  you  a  second  chance.  But  no  more  karate.  It's  poisoning  your  mind.  [sniffs  Sandy]  Mmm,  mammals.  [walks  off] ;s1e29_64
SpongeBob; [laughs,  then  suddenly  stops]  Nothing.  Nothing  is  fun  about  that  at  all! ;s1e29_65
SpongeBob; We  can?  I  mean,  sure  we  can.  Yeah!  Like  we  can,  uhh.  [picks  up  a  rock]  We  can  squeeze  things!  [squeezes  the  rock  and  drops  it]  Woo!  How  much  fun  was  that? ;s1e29_66
SpongeBob; I  know!  We  can  act  like  plants.  [lies  on  the  ground  and  opens  and  closes  his  legs  and  arms]  Photosynthesis.  Photosynthesis. ;s1e29_67
Sandy; Wanna  go  to  the  park?  [SpongeBob  and  Sandy  are  at  the  park.  SpongeBob  is  holding  a  basket  in  one  hand] ;s1e29_68
Sandy; Yeah,  you  can  say  that  again. ;s1e29_69
SpongeBob; I  feel  dumb  just  thinking  about  it.  [puts  the  basket  down]  Duuuuh!  I'm  stuuuupiiid!  I  like  karaaateee!  Doyeee! ;s1e29_70
Sandy; You  like  what? ;s1e29_71
SpongeBob; Not  karate. ;s1e29_72
Sandy; Ha!  I  don't  even  know  what  that  is. ;s1e29_73
SpongeBob; Me,  too.  I  don't  know  what  anything  is!  In  fact... ;s1e29_74
Fisherman; [casting  off  his  fishing  rod]  Hi-yah!  Hi-yah! ;s1e29_75
SpongeBob; [giggles]  For  a  second,  that  sounded  like. ;s1e29_76
Sandy;Karate?;s1e29_77
SpongeBob; Right  now?  I  mean,  no!  What  is  this  karate?  [opens  up  the  basket]  Uhh,  what  do  you  want  on  your  sandwich? ;s1e29_78
Sandy;Karate.;s1e29_79
SpongeBob; What  did  you  say? ;s1e29_80
Sandy; Uhh,  mustard.  Mustard!  I  want  mustard  on  my  sandwich.  [takes  out  some  mustard]  There  we  go.  [SpongeBob  pulls  out  some  barnacle  loaf] ;s1e29_81
SpongeBob; How  many  slices  of  barnacle  loaf  do  you  want? ;s1e29_82
Sandy; One.  Just  one. ;s1e29_83
SpongeBob; One  for  you!  [karate  chops  a  slice  off] ;s1e29_84
Sandy;Hmmm?;s1e29_85
SpongeBob; And  one  for  me!  [chops  off  another  slice  in  slow-motion] ;s1e29_86
Sandy; Ohh,  uhh,  SpongeBob? ;s1e29_87
SpongeBob;Hmm?;s1e29_88
Sandy; Maybe  just  one  more.  Uhh,  I'm  kinda  hungry. ;s1e29_89
{system}; [SpongeBob  brings  out  the  barnacle  loaf  again] ;s1e29_90
SpongeBob; Sure  thing,  Sandy.  [lifts  up  his  hand] ;s1e29_91
Sandy;SpongeBob?;s1e29_92
SpongeBob;Yeah?;s1e29_93
Sandy; Do  you  think,  umm,  do  you  think  I  could  cut  this  one? ;s1e29_94
SpongeBob; Uhh,  sure. ;s1e29_95
Sandy; Thanks.  Hi-yah!  [chops  one  slice]  Is  that  enough? ;s1e29_96
SpongeBob; Maybe  just  one  more.  Or  two! ;s1e29_97
Sandy; Or  three! ;s1e29_98
SpongeBob; Or  ten! ;s1e29_99
Sandy; Ten!  Yes,  ten!  Because  we're  really  hungry! ;s1e29_100
SpongeBob;Right!;s1e29_101
Sandy;Right!;s1e29_102
SpongeBob;Right!;s1e29_103
Sandy; Right!  [chops  off  more  slices  and  they  fly  everywhere] ;s1e29_104
SpongeBob; Time  for  buns!  [throws  a  bunch  of  buns  in  the  air  and  chops  them  in  half] ;s1e29_105
Sandy; How  about  some  tomatoes? ;s1e29_106
SpongeBob; And  I'll  cut  the  cheese!  [both  throw  the  cheese  and  tomatoes  in  the  air  while  chopping  them  into  a  bunch  of  slices  that  land  on  the  patties] ;s1e29_107
Sandy; And,  what  else  should  we  slice?  [SpongeBob  grabs  more  buns] ;s1e29_108
SpongeBob; More  buns! ;s1e29_109
Sandy; [Sandy  grabs  two  heads  of  lettuce]  And  lettuce! ;s1e29_110
Both; Yeah!  [both  slice  up  more  food  to  complete  their  Krabby  Patties  and  one  of  the  buns  lands  on  an  earthworm] ;s1e29_111
SpongeBob; Phew.  Making  sandwiches  sure  is  fun.  Right,  Sandy?  [Sandy  has  a  dazed  look  on  her  face]  Right?  I  guess  I'll  eat  one  now.  [reaches  for  a  patty,  but  Sandy  karate  chops  his  arm  with  her  green  foam  hand] ;s1e29_112
Sandy; You're  mince  meat! ;s1e29_113
SpongeBob; [in  his  red  karate  gear]  In  your  dreams!  Hi-yah!  [both  start  to  karate  chop  each  other.  Later,  Mr.  Krabs  is  walking  through  the  park,  carrying  an  umbrella] ;s1e29_114
 Mr.  Krabs ; Huh?  What  the  barnacle?  [Everything  in  the  park  is  chopped  in  half.  Sandy  is  chopping  wood  while  SpongeBob  rests  on  a  rock] ;s1e29_115
SpongeBob; Do  you  think  Mr.  Krabs  ever  does  karate? ;s1e29_116
 Mr.  Krabs ; [clearing  his  throat  to  get  SpongeBob's  attention]  Bleuhahugh! ;s1e29_117
SpongeBob; [screams]  Mr.  Krabs!  [tries  to  hold  a  tree  back  in  one  piece]  Uhh,  hey,  Mr.  Krabs,  how�s  it  going?  [holds  the  rock  in  one  piece]  Nice  day,  huh?  [half  of  the  tree  falls  on  SpongeBob's  head]  Oh,  alright,  Mr.  Krabs.  You  caught  me.  But  you  know  what?  I  just  can't  help  myself.  You're  just  gonna  have  to  fire  me. ;s1e29_118
 Mr.  Krabs ; Fire  ya?  [grabs  a  couple  Krabby  Patties]  I've  got  something  else  in  mind.  [at  the  Krusty  Krab,  SpongeBob  and  Sandy  are  karate  chopping  up  Krabby  Patties  for  the  customers.  Sandy  is  chopping  up  the  meat  and  SpongeBob  is  chopping  up  the  mustard] ;s1e29_119
Sandy; I  love  karate! ;s1e29_120
SpongeBob; I  love  kara-tay! ;s1e29_121
Squidward; I  hate  all  of  you. ;s1e29_122
SpongeBob; Ah,  time  for  bed,  Gary.  [takes  off  his  shoes  and  socks  and  throws  them  on  the  floor.  The  socks,  which  had  been  standing  upright,  slide  down  into  the  shoes.  Gary  sticks  his  eyes  into  the  shoes,  then  pulls  them  out  with  the  socks  covering  them] ;s1e30_1
Gary;Meow?;s1e30_2
SpongeBob;" Oh,  Gary.  [pulls  socks  off  Gary's  eyes]  You  know  what  they  say:  curiosity  salted  the  snail!  Mind  your  wandering  eye,  you  little  mollusk.  Sweet  dreams,  Gary.  [snores  and  a  dream  cloud  appears  with  the  background  of  Krusty  Krab  stuff.  SpongeBob  eyes  appear  then  his  shoes  and  then  his  mouth  on  a  rock]  Hey!  Over  here!  [laughs  while  his  arms  wiggle  on  the  ground.  Both  arms  attach  to  the  rock  and  the  rock  moves  over  to  the  other  items.  SpongeBob's  arms  grab  the  eyes  and  puts  them  on  the  rock,  his  pants  start  appearing,  and  then  his  legs  come  out  and  put  his  shoes  on  and  his  body  is  seen.  A  car  comes  over  SpongeBob  and  sits  him  in  it.  SpongeBob's  nose  grows  out]  Wait  a  minute.  I  don't  have  a  driver's  license!  [driver's  license  appears]  Wow.  My  driver's  license.  I  can't  believe  it!  [Car  starts  to  move  crazily]  I  sure  take  a  good  picture.  [drives  through  a  sign  that  says  ""Road  Ends""]  Darn!  I  should  have  grown  a  mustache.  [the  boat  starts  bumping  up  and  down  rapidly  SpongeBob  is  now  driving  off-road,  hitting  bumps  in  the  sand  he  smashes  into  a  rock  and  flies  out  of  the  boat,  still  holding  his  license]  How  could  I  have  forgotten  the  most  important  rule  of  driving?  Always  wear  your  seatbelt.  [flies  over  the  Krusty  Krab]  Hey,  I  can  see  the  Krusty  Krab  from  here.  [Mrs.  Puff  floats  up  to  him]  Mrs.  Puff!  Look!  I've  finally  got  my  driver's  license! ";s1e30_3
 Mrs.  Puff ; [takes  his  license  and  tears  it  up]  Not  even  in  your  dreams,  Mr.  SquarePants! ;s1e30_4
SpongeBob; No!  [flies  through  the  dream  cloud  and  on  SpongeBob's  real  bed]  Ouch!  Where  am  I?  [walks  and  looks  up  to  his  real  self]  Is  that  me?  Or  is  this  me?  Am  I  still  dreaming? ;s1e30_5
Gary; Meow.  [snoring]  Meow. ;s1e30_6
SpongeBob; [walks  up  to  Gary's  dream  cloud]  This  must  be  Gary's  dream.  I'm  gonna  get  a  closer  look.  [jumps  into  the  dream  cloud.  He  falls  down  into  a  library]  Whoa!  Wow.  Look  at  all  these  books.  I  wonder  where  Gary  is.  [walks  past  a  pile  of  books]  Gary!  Huh?  [sees  Gary,  who  is  now  taller  and  wearing  a  cape,  reading  a  book.  He  walks  up  to  him]  Excuse  me,  sir.  Have  you  seen...?  [Gary  turns  around] ;s1e30_7
Gary; [gasps]  SpongeBob? ;s1e30_8
Gary; How  dare  you  invade  the  sanctity  of  my  dreams? ;s1e30_9
SpongeBob; Gary!  You  can  talk! ;s1e30_10
Gary; [sighs]  In  dreams,  one  is  not  tethered  by  earthly  limitations. ;s1e30_11
Gary;" Come.  [they  walk  down  an  aisle  of  books]  For  ages,  dreams  have  been  thought  of  as  windows  to  another  realm.  [picks  up  a  book  and  reads  from  it]  ""Let  me  not  mar  that  perfect  dream  by  an  auroral  stain,  but  so  adjust  my  daily  night  that  it  may  come  again.""  Emily  Dickinson  wrote  that. ";s1e30_12
SpongeBob;Who?;s1e30_13
Gary; [flips  a  few  pages]  Here's  one  you  might  know.  [clears  throat]  There  once  was  a  man  from  Peru  who  dreamed  he  was  eating  his  shoe.  He  woke  with  a  fright  in  the  middle  of  the  night  to  find  that  his  dream  had  come  true. ;s1e30_14
SpongeBob; [laughs]  Gee,  Gary,  you  sure  are  smart. ;s1e30_15
SpongeBob; Well,  thanks  for  the  info,  Gary.  I'm  going  back  to  my  own  dream  now.  [starts  walking  away] ;s1e30_16
Gary; Beware  of  your  wandering  eye,  you  little  poriferan! ;s1e30_17
Patrick; Hi,  SpongeBob. ;s1e30_18
SpongeBob; [walks  over]  You  know,  Patrick,  this  is  a  dream.  You  can  do  anything  you  want. ;s1e30_19
Patrick;Yup.;s1e30_20
SpongeBob; I  mean  anything!  Watch.  I  can  turn  into  a  skyscraper.  [transforms  into  the  shape  of  a  skyscraper]  Going  up!  Eh?  [sees  that  Patrick  is  unresponsive  and  frowns,  then  perks  up  again]  I  can  make...  [changes  back  to  his  normal  shape  and  size,  this  time  with  a  million  copies  of  himself]  A  million  of  me!  Eh?  Eh? ;s1e30_21
Patrick;Yup.;s1e30_22
{system}; [The  SpongeBob  clones  disappear] ;s1e30_23
SpongeBob; Ah,  tartar  sauce.  I'm  going  to  a  different  dream.  [leaves] ;s1e30_24
Patrick; Okay.  Bye,  SpongeBob.  [kiddie  ride  comes  to  a  halt  Patrick  reaches  into  his  pocket  and  pulls  out  another  quarter  and  goes  to  put  it  in  the  slot,  but  accidentally  drops  it  and  it  rolls  away]  Oh!  [the  quarter  f  he  stops  below  Squidward's  dream  cloud] alls  into  a  grate]  Shoot,  that  was  my  last  quarter.  [sits  on  the  ride  with  a  dull  gaze  meanwhile,  SpongeBob  hops  out  of  the  dream  cloud  and  starts  to  walk  down  the  block;s1e30_25
SpongeBob; Ooh,  this  is  gonna  be  good!  [inflates  himself  with  air  and  floats  up  into  the  cloud  inside,  Squidward  is  playing  clarinet  in  front  of  an  applauding  crowd  he  is  also  dressed  as  Mozart  because  he  has  a  powdered  wig  on  his  head]  Psst!  Squidward!  [waving  in  the  audience  Squidward  stops  playing]  Hey,  Squidward! ;s1e30_26
King; Ahem!  [sitting  in  the  balcony  above  the  stage]  Why  do  you  stop  playing,  Wolfgang  Amadeus  Tentacles? ;s1e30_27
Squidward; Yes,  Your  Highness.  [Squidward  resumes  playing,  but  SpongeBob  tells  the  king  a  joke.  The  king  laughs  and  Squidward  stops  playing  again.  He  angrily  stands  up]  SpongeBob! ;s1e30_28
King; Hey!  I  have  not  instructed  you  to  stop!  Now  play!  [giggles,  turns  to  SpongeBob  and  nudges  him  with  his  elbow]  Oh,  do  tell  me  the  one  about  the  man  from  Peru  again. ;s1e30_29
King; [angry]  I  came  here  to  hear  beautiful  music!  If  I  don't  get  my  wish,  it  will  be  your  head! ;s1e30_30
Squidward; [laughs  nervously] ;s1e30_31
SpongeBob; [as  a  clarinet]  Squidward!  [points  to  himself  and  winks]  Huh?  Huh? ;s1e30_32
Squidward; [throws  his  broken  clarinet  pieces  off-stage.  Speaking  with  his  back  turned]  No  way. ;s1e30_33
King; Ahem!  [glares  down  at  Squidward] ;s1e30_34
Squidward; [sighs  and  picks  SpongeBob  up]  Please,  SpongeBob,  no  tricks. ;s1e30_35
SpongeBob; Trust  me,  Squidward.  [Squidward  blows  into  him] ;s1e30_36
SpongeBob; [off-key]  La  la!  La  la  la  la  la  la  la!  [The  audience  gasps  again] ;s1e30_37
Squidward; [stops  playing]  SpongeBob! ;s1e30_38
{system}; [Squidward  smiles  and  SpongeBob  winks  at  him] ;s1e30_39
SpongeBob; [continues  singing  off-key] ;s1e30_40
 Incidental  127 ; [crying]  His  music  touches  me  ever-so.  I  fear  that  my  tears  might  stain  my  petticoat. ;s1e30_41
{system}; [crowd  cheers] ;s1e30_42
Squidward; [bowing]  Thank  you!  Thank  you!  Thank  you!  [the  crowd  knocks  him  aside  into  a  fruit  wagon  and  a  fish  grabs  SpongeBob] ;s1e30_43
 Incidental  121 ; What  is  this  instrument  that  produces  such  lovely  sound? ;s1e30_44
SpongeBob; [turns  back  to  normal  and  runs  away  while  audience  chases  him.  Squidward  has  climbed  out  of  the  wagon  and  is  a  mess]  So  long,  Squidward!  [Squidward  starts  to  growl  at  him,  but  the  audience  members  push  him  back  into  the  fruit  wagon  and  chase  after  SpongeBob.  The  King  follows,  too,  laughing.  SpongeBob  runs  out  the  door  and  flies  away.] ;s1e30_45
Squidward; [starts  tossing  and  turning  in  his  bed,  mumbling  in  angered  pain] ;s1e30_46
SpongeBob; [SpongeBob  lands  on  the  top  of  the  tree  dome]  Hey!  I'm  at  Sandy's!  [Sandy  sleeps  in  her  tree  and  SpongeBob  jumps  in  her  dream  cloud  and  opens  a  plane  door]  Aw,  this  looks  neat!  I  wonder...  [falls  out  of  the  plane  and  screams] ;s1e30_47
Sandy; [surfs  up  on  a  glide  board  to  SpongeBob]  Hey,  SpongeBob,  what  brings  you  here? ;s1e30_48
SpongeBob; Hey,  Sandy!  What's  going  on? ;s1e30_49
Sandy; [turns  upside  down]  Well,  we're  free-falling  from  114,000  feet,  and  we're  gonna  land  on  that  itty-bitty  target.  [a  target  is  shown  on  the  ground.  SpongeBob  and  Sandy  spin  around] ;s1e30_50
SpongeBob; This  seems  kind  of  dangerous! ;s1e30_51
Sandy; Not  as  long  as  you've  got  a  big  old  parachute! ;s1e30_52
SpongeBob; Okay!  [gives  her  a  thumbs-up  both  his  shoes  inflate] ;s1e30_53
Sandy; Not  a  pair  of  shoes,  SpongeBob!  Parachute!  [turns  upside-down  again] ;s1e30_54
SpongeBob; Gotcha!  [lifts  up  a  green  parakeet  perched  on  his  finger] ;s1e30_55
Sandy; Not  a  parakeet!  Para-  [Lands  in  a  truck  of  clam  manure,  parachute  inflates  out  of  time]  medic... ;s1e30_56
SpongeBob; [screams  as  he  crashes  through  the  target,  breaking  the  ground  and  flips  on  the  real-life  ground]  Ouch!  All  right,  that's  it.  No  more  messing  with  people's  dreams.  [sees  a  dream  cloud  coming  out  of  Mr.  Krabs'  house]  H-h-hey!  Mr.  Krabs.  [climbs  the  anchor  house  and  raises  his  head  right  under  a  pink  flower  in  Pearl's  dream.  Shows  a  view  of  various  girly  decorations,  other  girly  features  and  boyfriend  portraits.]  Uhh...  Mr.  Krabs? ;s1e30_57
Pearl; Hello,  SpongeBob!  [sits  at  a  table  with  a  green  rabbit  toy  and  a  brown  teddy  bear,  she  pours  some  tea  into  the  bear's  cup] ;s1e30_58
SpongeBob; [waves]  Oh,  Pearl.  This  is  your  dream. ;s1e30_59
Pearl; You're  just  in  time  for  the  tea  party! ;s1e30_60
SpongeBob; Actually,  I  was  looking  for  your  dad's  dream. ;s1e30_61
Pearl; [Frowns]  Oh.  He's  next  door.  [Rolls  eyes,  then  shakes  head  in  disappointment]  Boys  don't  understand  the  sophistication  of  tea  parties.  Right,  Mr.  Stuffy? ;s1e30_62
SpongeBob; Bye!  [gets  out  of  Pearl's  dream  and  goes  over  to  Mr.  Krabs  on  the  right  side  of  the  screen]  I  bet  Mr.  Krabs'  dream  will  be  more  robust.  [peeks  in  the  cloud  and  just  floats  on  his  backside  in  the  large  ocean  until  he  hits  Mr.  Krabs�  boat] ;s1e30_63
SpongeBob; Whatcha  doin�,  Mr.  Krabs? ;s1e30_64
SpongeBob; What  are  you  talking  about? ;s1e30_65
SpongeBob; [laughs]  Look,  Mr.  Krabs.  Pennies! ;s1e30_66
 Mr.  Krabs ; Never  mind  the  small  change,  lad.  Get  the  net! ;s1e30_67
 Mr.  Krabs ; No,  no,  no,  no!  The  money  net!  It's  in  me  back  pocket. ;s1e30_68
SpongeBob; [reaches  into  Mr.  Krabs'  back  pocket  and  pulls  out  a  huge  wallet  with  Mr.  Krabs'  license  in  it]  Wow!  You  look  real  good  with  a  mustache,  Mr.  Krabs. ;s1e30_69
 Mr.  Krabs ; Never  mind  that,  boy.  Ready  the  net! ;s1e30_70
SpongeBob; [opens  up  the  wallet]  Net  ready,  sir! ;s1e30_71
 Mr.  Krabs ; [pulls  the  dollar  out  of  the  water  and  heaves  it  into  the  wallet]  I  did  it!  [gets  excited]  I  finally  did  it! ;s1e30_72
SpongeBob; Congratulations,  Mr.  Krabs.  [puts  down  the  wallet  to  shake  hands  with  Mr.  Krabs,  but  the  wallet  starts  bouncing  away  toward  the  back  of  the  boat] ;s1e30_73
 Mr.  Krabs ; No,  SpongeBob!  Don't  let  it  go! ;s1e30_74
SpongeBob;Huh?;s1e30_75
 Mr.  Krabs ; Get  it,  SpongeBob!  Get  it!  Get  it!  Get  it!  Get  it!  Get  it!  [SpongeBob  chases  after  it,  but  it  hops  off  the  back  end  of  the  boat] ;s1e30_76
SpongeBob; Hey!  Hey!  I...! ;s1e30_77
 Mr.  Krabs ; No!  [dollar  hops  out  of  wallet  and  jumps  like  a  dolphin  away  in  the  ocean] ;s1e30_78
SpongeBob; [grins  nervously  as  Krabs  glares  at  him]  This'll  make  a  great  fish  story,  eh,  Mr.  Krabs? ;s1e30_79
 Mr.  Krabs ; Oh,  SpongeBob... ;s1e30_80
SpongeBob; Yes,  Mr.  Krabs? ;s1e30_81
 Mr.  Krabs ; [ties  SpongeBob  up  with  a  rope  tied  to  a  plunger  sticking  out  of  a  gun]  You're  fired!  [Fires  the  gun,  shooting  the  plunger  and  tossing  SpongeBob  with  it] ;s1e30_82
SpongeBob; [screams  as  he  gets  shot  out  of  the  dream  cloud  and  into  Plankton's  dream  on  a  building.  The  plunger  is  stuck  onto  a  building.]  Ooh!  Hey,  Plankton's  dreaming  about  Bikini  Bottom. ;s1e30_83
Plankton; Zap!  [zaps  a  building  near  SpongeBob  and  fish:  Incidental  93,  Incidental  40,  Incidental  86  come  running  out]  I  see  you.  [stomps  up  to  another  building,  twenty  times  the  size  of  his  normal  self]  Zap!  [shoots  a  green  laser  out  of  his  eye] ;s1e30_84
Fred; My  leg! ;s1e30_85
Plankton; I  see  you.  Zap! ;s1e30_86
SpongeBob; Plankton!  [tries  to  get  himself  untied  from  the  rope  around  his  ankle] ;s1e30_87
Plankton; I  see  you...  [SpongeBob  gets  untied  and  drops  to  the  ground]  Zap!  [zaps  and  disintegrates  the  building  that  SpongeBob  was  on,  then  walks  to  the  Krusty  Krab.  People  continue  to:  Fred,  and  Incidental  73  scream  in  panic]  Oh  look,  it's  the  Krusty  Krab,  home  of  the  Krabby  Patty.  [stomps  on  it]  Crush!  [picks  up  the  Krusty  Krab  sign  and  starts  to  lick  it  as  if  it  was  a  lollipop  and  walks  off]  Lick,  lick! ;s1e30_88
SpongeBob; This  isn't  a  dream!  This  is  a  nightmare! ;s1e30_89
Gary; Meow!  Meow! ;s1e30_90
SpongeBob; [Stops  and  looks.  Appears  more  and  more  worried.]  Gary!  Gary!  No! ;s1e30_91
Gary; Meow!  [Plankton  still  coming  towards  Gary  making  giant  step  sounds] ;s1e30_92
Plankton; Here,  kitty,  kitty,  kitty. ;s1e30_93
SpongeBob; Gary!  [jumps  over  to  Gary  and  hugs  him]  I've  got  you,  Gary! ;s1e30_94
Plankton; Peek-a-boo,  here  comes  my  foot!  [steps  on  SpongeBob  and  Gary]  Yeah!  Huh?  [lifts  his  foot  from  pain]  Yow! ;s1e30_95
SpongeBob; [looking  like  a  thumbtack]  I  think  he's  got  the  point.  [laughs] ;s1e30_96
Plankton; [starts  shrinking]  Waaaaaah!  [as  he  screams  his  voice  gets  higher  and  higher  until  he  goes  back  to  his  normal,  puny  size.] ;s1e30_97
{system}; [Immediately  after  Plankton  went  back  to  normal  size,  three  burnt  fish:  Incidental  93,  Incidental  37A,  and  Fred  walk  up  to  Plankton  looking  mad] ;s1e30_98
Plankton; Well,  I  guess  I've  got  some  explaining  to  do,  huh? ;s1e30_99
{system}; [Burned  Fred  lifts  his  foot  to  step  on  him] ;s1e30_100
Plankton; No.  No,  no,  no!  Not  the  face!  [gets  squished.  Wakes  up  screaming  and  his  dream  cloud  pops,  making  dream  SpongeBob  fall  to  the  ground] ;s1e30_101
SpongeBob; Ooh!  [SpongeBob  walks  home  into  his  own  dream  cloud  where  his  real  self  is  still  sleeping]  Ah,  that  was  fun  and  all,  but  it's  good  to  be  back  in  my  own  dream  cloud.  [goes  to  sleep]  Ah...  [wakes  up  after  hearing  his  friends  voices  and  faces  hovering  around  his  head] ;s1e30_102
Squidward; [his  head  starts  circling  SpongeBob]  SpongeBob!  [The  heads  of  Mr.  Krabs,  Sandy,  Gary,  Plankton,  Pearl  and  Patrick  start  surrounding  SpongeBob] ;s1e30_103
All;SpongeBob!;s1e30_104
SpongeBob; [tossing  and  turning  in  his  sleep]  What  do  you  want  from  me?  Leave  me  alone!  No,  no...  No,  no,  no,  no,  no,  no!  [Squidward  taps  him  and  he  wakes  up.] ;s1e30_105
Squidward;SpongeBob!;s1e30_106
SpongeBob; [screams,  then  sees  his  friends  stand  around  his  bed,  except  Patrick]  Hey,  what  are  you  all  doing  in  your  pajamas?  Are  we  having  a  slumber  party? ;s1e30_107
{system}; [Scene  now  shows  Squidward,  Mr.  Krabs,  Sandy,  Gary,  Plankton,  and  Pearl,  who  all  look  angry  at  SpongeBob.] ;s1e30_108
Squidward; No.  We  are  not  having  a  slumber  party! ;s1e30_109
Sandy; Do  us  all  a  favor,  SpongeBob,  and  stay  out  of  our  dreams! ;s1e30_110
All; [grumble  in  agreement] ;s1e30_111
Plankton; Take  a  hike! ;s1e30_112
Squidward; Don't  we  get  enough  of  you  during  the  day? ;s1e30_113
Gary; [In  anger]  Meow! ;s1e30_114
Patrick; [walks  in]  Does  anyone  have  a  quarter?  [all  stare  at  Patrick] ;s1e30_115