| speaker;replica;ep_id | |
| {system};[The episode opens with a bubble transition, and we see a coral reef under the sea. The camera zooms to initiate parallax scrolling, which reveals the city of Bikini Bottom. It continues zooming to show a brown rock, a Moai head, and a pineapple, which each contain inhabitants.];s1e1_1 | |
| French Narrator;Ah, the sea... so fascinating. So wonderful. Here, we see Bikini Bottom, teeming with life. [shows from left to right Patrick's, Squidward's, and SpongeBob's houses. Zooms in on SpongeBob's house.] Home to one of my favorite creatures, SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes, of course he lives in a pineapple, you silly.;s1e1_2 | |
| {system};[Scene cuts to the house's bedroom. A sea snail, named Gary, is seen sleeping near a pile of newspapers on the floor, a scallop is seen in a birdcage, and a young, optimistic yellow sea sponge, named SpongeBob, is seen sleeping in his bed, snoring as his foghorn alarm clock ticks. SpongeBob's alarm then sounds. He wakes, but is unaffected by the annoying sound, and with a smile on his face, turns it off. He climbs from his bed to a ladder, leading to his diving board.];s1e1_3 | |
| SpongeBob; [jumps on the diving board] Look at me, I'm... [jumps up, and leaves his underwear behind] ..naked! [lands inside his pants, then runs toward the exercise room. His head pops out of the top of his pants.] Gotta be in top physical condition for today, Gary.;s1e1_4 | |
| Gary;Meow.;s1e1_5 | |
| SpongeBob;"[taking deep breaths, he prepares to lift a barbell that is balanced by two lightweight stuffed animals. He sticks out his chest, but almost passes out because he can barely lift it. He drops it, and it makes a ""squeak"" noise] I'm ready! [runs outside] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! [as he speaks, a dimwitted sea star's rock tilts upwards with a chubby pink starfish named Patrick stuck to its underside.]";s1e1_6 | |
| Patrick;Go, SpongeBob! [falls] Whoa! ;s1e1_7 | |
| {system};[crash sound effect];s1e1_8 | |
| SpongeBob;[runs down the street to the Krusty Krab] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! [jumps in the air as the scene freezes and a title reads SpongeBob SquarePants];s1e1_9 | |
| French Narrator; SpongeBob SquarePants! ;s1e1_10 | |
| {system};[It shows SpongeBob running through various landscapes, as it shows a frozen scene of SpongeBob standing in front of the Krusty Krab the scene unfreezes and then the episode continues as normal];s1e1_11 | |
| {system};[bubble transitions to the Krusty Krab];s1e1_12 | |
| SpongeBob;There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating: The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty... with a Help Wanted sign in the window. For years I've been dreaming of this moment. I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look 'em straight in the eye [breaks the fourth wall and looks the audience in the eye], lay it on the line and... I can't do this! [starts to run home, but Patrick stops him.] Hey, Patrick-;s1e1_13 | |
| Patrick;Where do you think you're going?;s1e1_14 | |
| SpongeBob;I was just...;s1e1_15 | |
| Patrick;No, you're not. You're going to the Krusty Krab and get! That! Job!;s1e1_16 | |
| SpongeBob;I can't, don't you see? I'm not good enough.;s1e1_17 | |
| Patrick;"Whose first words were ""May I take your order?""?";s1e1_18 | |
| SpongeBob;Mine were.;s1e1_19 | |
| Patrick;Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop?;s1e1_20 | |
| SpongeBob;I did.;s1e1_21 | |
| Patrick;[grimaces and contorts twice while trying to come up with a good third line] Who's a, uh, who's uh, oh! And who's a big yellow cube with holes?;s1e1_22 | |
| SpongeBob;I am!;s1e1_23 | |
| Patrick;Who's ready?;s1e1_24 | |
| SpongeBob;I'm ready!;s1e1_25 | |
| Patrick;Who's ready?!;s1e1_26 | |
| SpongeBob;I'm ready! [runs toward the Krusty Krab.] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!;s1e1_27 | |
| {system};[A turquoise octopus is seen cleaning graffiti on the restaurant's windows. That octopus, named Squidward, is spraying stain remover and attempting to wipe off the graffiti.];s1e1_28 | |
| Squidward;" [cleaning graffiti of himself with the word ""loser,"" sees SpongeBob, and sighs] Oh no, SpongeBob. What could he possibly want? ";s1e1_29 | |
| SpongeBob; [in background, at first while Squidward was talking] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! Go, SpongeBob! Go, SpongeBob! Go, SpongeBob! Go, self! ;s1e1_30 | |
| {system}; [Squidward looks at the Help Wanted sign, screams, and runs inside to warn Mr. Krabs] ;s1e1_31 | |
| Squidward;" [While SpongeBob says, ""I'm ready,"" one more time in the background] Mr. Krabs! [cuts to the ordering window, where a greedy crab is seen happily sniffing a handful of money. Squidward runs up to him.] Hurry, Mr. Krabs, before it's too late, I gotta tell you- [interrupted by SpongeBob] ";s1e1_32 | |
| SpongeBob; Permission to come aboard, captain! [deep voice] I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the Krusty Krew [normal voice] and now I'm ready! ;s1e1_33 | |
| {system}; [SpongeBob trips on a nail stuck in the floorboard. He bounces back and forth on the ground, and shouts and blurts incomprehensibly upon each hit. The restaurant manager, a red crab named Mr. Krabs, and Squidward look at each other. His fall causes him to bounce against the ceiling. SpongeBob yet again shouts and blurts incomprehensibly while his bounces and ricochets around the building accelerate. He then rolls to a stop at the feet of Squidward and Mr. Krabs.] ;s1e1_34 | |
| SpongeBob; So, uh, when do I start? ;s1e1_35 | |
| MrKrabs; Well, lad, it looks like you don't even have your sea legs. ;s1e1_36 | |
| SpongeBob; Mr. Krabs, please! I'll prove I'm fry cook material! Ask Squidward, he'll vouch for me. ;s1e1_37 | |
| {system}; [Mr. Krabs and Squidward quickly walk away from SpongeBob. Squidward looks at Mr. Krabs.] ;s1e1_38 | |
| Squidward; [deep breath] No. ;s1e1_39 | |
| {system}; [Mr. Krabs winks. Squidward and Mr. Krabs head back to SpongeBob, who looks completely puzzled at what he's hearing] ;s1e1_40 | |
| Mr. Krabs ; Well, lad, we'll give you a test, and if you pass, you'll be on the Krusty Krew. Go out and fetch me... a... [SpongeBob takes out a notepad] uh, hydrodynamic spatula... [SpongeBob quickly jots down what he says] with, um, port-and-starboard-attachments, [more scribbling] and, uh... turbo drive. [more scribbling] And don't come back �til you get one. [puts a Krusty Krab crew hat on SpongeBob's head.] ;s1e1_41 | |
| {system}; [SpongeBob sees how he looks in a mirror, there are sparkles on his hat, and he has a huge, satisfied smile] ;s1e1_42 | |
| SpongeBob; [saluting Krabs] Aye aye, captain! [reading] One hydrodynamic spatula, with port-and-starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up, sir! [salutes again] ;s1e1_43 | |
| Mr. Krabs ; Carry on! [SpongeBob leaves] We'll never see that lubber again. ;s1e1_44 | |
| Squidward; [smiling] You're terrible. A hydro-what? ;s1e1_45 | |
| {system}; [Squidward and Mr. Krabs laugh. While Squidward laughs, his nose moves distinctly while he inhales and exhales. Mr. Krabs' laugh sounds like a pirate. As they laugh, SpongeBob is shown leaving the Krusty Krab. As SpongeBob fades out of sight, five buses drive toward the Krusty Krab from the opposite direction.] ;s1e1_46 | |
| Bus driver ; Hey! Hey! Please! Passengers are to stay seated and not put their fins out the window! ;s1e1_47 | |
| {system}; [The five buses surround the Krusty Krab and the bus doors open. Mr. Krabs stops laughing. Squidward also stops laughing but embarrassingly smiles at Mr. Krabs' attentive gesture.] ;s1e1_48 | |
| Mr. Krabs ; [gasps] That sounded like hatch doors! [sniffs repeatedly] Do you smell it? That smell... A kind of smelly smell... A smelly smell that smells... smelly... [his eyes widen] Anchovies. ;s1e1_49 | |
| Squidward;What?;s1e1_50 | |
| Mr. Krabs ;Anchovies!;s1e1_51 | |
| {system};" [The anchovies get out of the buses and rush inside the Krusty Krab, crowding, repeating the word ""eat"" over and over again] ";s1e1_52 | |
| Squidward; Please, please, quiet! [the anchovies stop talking] Is this any way to behave, hmm? ;s1e1_53 | |
| Anchovy;Eat.;s1e1_54 | |
| Squidward; Could we show a little decency and form a neat, single file line in front of the register? ;s1e1_55 | |
| {system};" [The anchovies stare for a moment, then pick up the boat, as their cries of ""eat!"" become more intense. Cut to Barg'N-Mart as SpongeBob enters.] ";s1e1_56 | |
| SpongeBob; [singing to himself] Barg'N-Mart, meeting all of your spatula needs. ;s1e1_57 | |
| {system}; [Cuts back to the Krusty Krab. Squidward and Mr. Krabs are still in the boat register, and being tossed around like a ship in a storm.] ;s1e1_58 | |
| Mr. Krabs ; All hands on deck! Get your anchors out of your pants! ;s1e1_59 | |
| Squidward; One single file line is all I ask! ;s1e1_60 | |
| Mr. Krabs ; Whoa! [he and Squidward are thrown up in the air] Batten down the hatches, Mr. Squidward! [they get thrown back up again with Krabs clutching Squidward] I want my mommy, Mr. Squidward! [cuts to Barg'N-Mart] ;s1e1_61 | |
| SpongeBob; [singing] Do do do do do do, spatula, spatula, port-and-starboard attachments. ;s1e1_62 | |
| {system}; [Cuts back to the Krusty Krab. Squidward and Mr. Krabs are sent towards a pole by a wave of anchovies.] ;s1e1_63 | |
| Squidward;Help!;s1e1_64 | |
| Mr. Krabs ; Man overboard! Climb, Mr. Squidward! Climb! [They climb the mast, while the anchovies try to get them down. The anchovies then form a big wave twice.] ;s1e1_65 | |
| {system}; Eat! Eat! ;s1e1_66 | |
| Mr. Krabs ; This is the end! [shaking hands with Squidward] Goodbye, Mr. Squidward! ;s1e1_67 | |
| Squidward; Oh, Mr. Krabs! ;s1e1_68 | |
| {system}; [Mr. Krabs and Squidward cry, then SpongeBob comes in with red lights flashing and flying with the spatula, singing a heroic tune] ;s1e1_69 | |
| SpongeBob; Permission to come aboard captain! Da da da da da da da! Da da da da da da da da da da! Did someone order a spatula? ;s1e1_70 | |
| Mr. Krabs ; [stuttering in shock at SpongeBob getting the hydrodynamic spatula] ;s1e1_71 | |
| SpongeBob; That's right! One hydrodynamic spatula with [two spatulas pop out on the sides of the previous one] port-and-starboard attachments! And let's not forget the turbo drive! [the two extending spatulas twirl around and smack Squidward and Mr. Krabs in the face] Would you believe they only had one in stock? To the kitchen! [to the anchovies] Who's hungry?! ;s1e1_72 | |
| {system};" [Tiny Tim's ""Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight"" plays while SpongeBob flies through the kitchen window. A montage of SpongeBob making and serving Krabby Patties plays. SpongeBob crashes into a box of patties and shoots them with his eyes toward the grill.] ";s1e1_73 | |
| {system};" [SpongeBob becomes a number ""1"" followed by ascending numbers up to ""4."" He squeezes a bottle of ketchup and mustard on Krabby Patty to form a smiley face. He adds a patty and the rest of the toppings on top of the lower bun to form a Krabby Patty. SpongeBob serves the Krabby Patty. Some of the anchovies noticed, and one of them caught a Krabby Patty. All of the anchovies look toward the window to anticipate more Krabby Patties. SpongeBob then serves up Krabby Patty after Krabby Patty. He repeats chopping vegetables and serving yet more Krabby Patties. Numerous Krabby Patties are launched through the order window to the hungry anchovies.] ";s1e1_74 | |
| Mr. Krabs ; That was the finest fast-foodsmanship I've ever seen, Mr. SquarePants. Welcome aboard. [gives SpongeBob a name tag] ;s1e1_75 | |
| Squidward; B-but, but, Mr. Krabs... ;s1e1_76 | |
| Mr. Krabs ; Three cheers for SpongeBob! Hip-hip! ;s1e1_77 | |
| Squidward; [weakly] Hooray, Mr.� ;s1e1_78 | |
| Mr. Krabs ;Hip-hip!;s1e1_79 | |
| Squidward; [quickly] Hooray. ;s1e1_80 | |
| Mr. Krabs ;Hip-hip!;s1e1_81 | |
| Squidward; [quickly] Hooray. Mr. Krabs� ;s1e1_82 | |
| Mr. Krabs ; I'll be in my quarters, counting up the booty. [wheels a wheelbarrow piled with an enormous stack of cash to his office. As he walks towards his office, Patrick enters] ;s1e1_83 | |
| Patrick; Good morning, Krusty Krew! ;s1e1_84 | |
| Squidward; What would you like to order, Patrick? ;s1e1_85 | |
| Patrick; One Krabby Patty, please. ;s1e1_86 | |
| {system};" [The instrumental to ""Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight"" starts playing. SpongeBob flies back to the kitchen, using his spatula] ";s1e1_87 | |
| Squidward;What?;s1e1_88 | |
| {system}; [A score of Krabby Patties is immediately fired through the servery, which Squidward dodges, colliding into Patrick and sending him flying out of the Krusty Krab. Cuts to Krusty Krab exterior [crashing noise.];s1e1_89 | |
| Patrick;[screams];s1e1_90 | |
| Squidward; Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs, come see your new employee! ;s1e1_91 | |
| {system};" [The final instrumental of Tiny Tim's ""Livin' in the Sunlight"" plays (xylophone solo, followed by a timpani beat and a final note), and the further sounds of shooting Krabby Patties and smashed glass play at the same time, ending the episode] ";s1e1_92 | |
| {system}; [The episode opens up with SpongeBob's, Patrick's, and Squidward's houses.] ;s1e2_1 | |
| {system}; [The scene pans to show that everything on his lawn is clean, except for a seashell on the left side of it.] ;s1e2_2 | |
| {system}; [The camera shows Squidward angry. He walks over to the seashell, looks around, and kicks it onto SpongeBob's lawn while whistling casually.] ;s1e2_3 | |
| {system}; [The scene then changes to show SpongeBob's house. As soon as the window opens, SpongeBob's face is shown. He exits through his window and sits on its rim. He notices the seashell on his lawn, he gets an idea and starts sliding to the back of his house to his garage to get a reef blower. The giant backpack-like container, with a blower hose, which looks like a jet engine, a power switch, and a pull starter.] ;s1e2_4 | |
| {system}; [The scene changes to show Squidward resting on his hammock.] ;s1e2_5 | |
| {system}; [Squidward hears the reef blower's motor throbbing. He sees SpongeBob exiting out of his garage with the reef blower. Squidward grumbles and puts in his earplugs so that he can continue to rest.] ;s1e2_6 | |
| {system}; [SpongeBob gets to the seashell and tries to blow it away from his lawn by using the reef blower. He does this twice. He then blows extra hard, and a huge amount of sand is thrown in the air.] ;s1e2_7 | |
| {system}; [The scene changes to show Squidward eating some vegetables and then, the huge amount of sand falls from the sky and buries him. SpongeBob runs towards Squidward and blows the sand away.] ;s1e2_8 | |
| {system}; [Squidward looks at a leaf on his plate with grains of sand on it.] ;s1e2_9 | |
| {system}; [SpongeBob cleans the leaf in front of Squidward's head, tearing apart half of the leaf and causing grains of sand to get into Squidward's eyes. SpongeBob cleans Squidward's eyes with another blow.] ;s1e2_10 | |
| {system}; [The scene changes to show a large pile of sand on SpongeBob's lawn.] ;s1e2_11 | |
| {system};" [SpongeBob points his finger to it and mouths a word and the caption reads ""You!"" He walks to the pile of sand, sets the reef blower to reverse, and uses it to suck up the sand from his lawn.] ";s1e2_12 | |
| {system}; [The scene changes to show SpongeBob's lawn clean, but then the reef blower starts breaking apart, throwing out sand and parts of the machinery.] ;s1e2_13 | |
| {system}; [SpongeBob takes off the reef blower. He unzips the pack. He goes over to pick up the thrown-out contents. The reef blower coughs while he is absent. He returns with large hands carrying the thrown-out contents. He zips it back up and pulls the pull starter in an attempt to try to start it. The motor starts and then dies.] ;s1e2_14 | |
| {system}; [The camera shows him becoming angry or just determined. The scene changes and he pulls the handle very far.] ;s1e2_15 | |
| {system}; [SpongeBob lets go of the handle, which stays still. SpongeBob wipes his hands together. He grabs the handle again. The handle pulls him away, leaving a bubble silhouette of SpongeBob that quickly dissolves. SpongeBob passes an intersection where two fish in two different cars going opposite directions stop. He passes some houses and finally returns to the reef blower, where he gets strapped in.] ;s1e2_16 | |
| {system}; [The reef blower starts, sucking up all the water in the sea, causing Squidward, who is sitting on his front doorstep, to gasp due to the inability to breathe air. His eyes also change into X's.] ;s1e2_17 | |
| {system}; [The scene changes to show the reef blower massive, and then it explodes, causing water to cover the screen. When the water stops, the screen shows big piles of sand everywhere, but SpongeBob's lawn is relatively clean.] ;s1e2_18 | |
| {system}; [SpongeBob exits one of the piles, wipes his hands together, and happily enters his house.] ;s1e2_19 | |
| {system}; [Episode ends with Squidward at his doorstep, with a pile of sand covering him except for his head. The seashell falls on Squidward's nose. Squidward narrows his eyelids.] ;s1e2_20 | |
| SpongeBob; [stands in Jellyfish Fields. A blue jellyfish floats by SpongeBob. SpongeBob creeps from behind a bush and stares at the jellyfish through a telescope. Cuts to his view with the telescope] Wow, four stingers. [puts away the telescope and puts on his glasses. Cuts to the jellyfish, where SpongeBob floats over it with his net. Cuts to the jellyfish alone, where SpongeBob's foot stretches out from off-screen and then the rest of his body appears. He attempts to grab the jellyfish in his net, but he catches himself in the net, then the jellyfish flies away. In the background, a young girl's voice is heard struggling. SpongeBob looks down a cliff and sees a land creature trying to fight a giant clam that's attempting to eat her. SpongeBob gasps.] Where have I seen this before? [takes out his Field Guide book and skims through the pages] Here it is. [cut to picture of a squirrel] Land squirrel. [closes the book] That little squirrel is in trouble. [cuts to the squirrel, named Sandy, who is pushing the clam into the ground] ;s1e3_1 | |
| Sandy; Take that, you sorry old clam! Y'all need to learn some manners! [walks away] You're about as ugly as homemade soup. ;s1e3_2 | |
| SpongeBob; Hooray, land squirrel! [cuts back to the land squirrel, who is oblivious to the clam resurfacing and jumping right at her. Cuts to SpongeBob, who is shocked, his glasses shoot up] Look out! [scene cuts to the clam with Sandy trying to escape the clam] Hold on, little squirrel! [does a karate yell in front of the clam, then does the same while bouncing to different sides. He jumps high in the air, and lands on top of the clam;s1e3_3 | |
| {system}; [SpongeBob pulls up his pants and starts to charge at the clam. He jumps into the clam's mouth and starts to strangle its tongue. SpongeBob sees that Sandy has already escaped and the clam swallows him now.] ;s1e3_4 | |
| Sandy; Hold on there, little square dude! [gets SpongeBob out and kicks the clam around some more and finally kicks it across the sea. The clam whimpers. Sandy leans down to see if SpongeBob is okay.] ;s1e3_5 | |
| SpongeBob; Hey, you like karate too. [does some karate poses, then he stops and falls flat on his head] So, what's your name? ;s1e3_6 | |
| Sandy; Sandy. [makes athletic moves] So what do y'all call yourself? ;s1e3_7 | |
| SpongeBob; [runs up a big rock] I'm SpongeBob! [jumps down, SpongeBob soon lands on one of his corners] ;s1e3_8 | |
| Sandy; Well, SpongeBob, take a gander at this. [walks next to a huge rock closes her eyes and slaps it with her hand, making a gong sound effect, SpongeBob is confused as nothing seems to have happen, but then cracking sounds are heard and rock shakes and breaks into pieces] ;s1e3_9 | |
| SpongeBob; Oh. [Sandy grins and blinks] Oh, yeah? Watch this! [prepares to do a karate move, but all he does is make an armpit fart noise. Sandy walks on-screen giggling] ;s1e3_10 | |
| Sandy; I like you, SpongeBob. Why, we could be tighter than bark on a tree. Hi-yah! [karate chops SpongeBob�s head.] ;s1e3_11 | |
| SpongeBob; Uh, I like you too, Sandy. Hi-yah! [karate chops her helmet, but realizes it hurts.] Ow. Say, what is that thing on your head? ;s1e3_12 | |
| Sandy; Why, that's my air helmet. ;s1e3_13 | |
| SpongeBob; May I try it on? ;s1e3_14 | |
| Sandy; Heck no. I need it to breathe. I gotta have my air. ;s1e3_15 | |
| SpongeBob; Me too. I love air. Air is good. ;s1e3_16 | |
| Sandy; No kidding? ;s1e3_17 | |
| SpongeBob;" Why, ""air"" is my middle name. The more air, the better. Can't get enough of that air. ";s1e3_18 | |
| Sandy; Shee-oot. How about comin' over tomorrow for tea and cookies then? [shows a map leading to Sandy's house] Don't be late. ;s1e3_19 | |
| SpongeBob; Okay, see you tomorrow. [runs to Patrick's house. Patrick is sun tanning on his rock] Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, Patrick, Patrick! What's air? ;s1e3_20 | |
| Patrick;Huh?;s1e3_21 | |
| SpongeBob; I just met this girl. She wears a hat full of... air. ;s1e3_22 | |
| Patrick;" Do you mean she puts on ""airs""? ";s1e3_23 | |
| SpongeBob; I guess so. ;s1e3_24 | |
| Patrick; That's just fancy talk. If you wanna be fancy, hold your pinky up like this. The higher you hold it, the fancier you are. ;s1e3_25 | |
| SpongeBob; [holds his pinky up] How's that? ;s1e3_26 | |
| Patrick;Higher.;s1e3_27 | |
| SpongeBob; Like that? ;s1e3_28 | |
| Patrick; Now that's fancy. They should call you SpongeBob FancyPants. [cuts to Sandy's treedome] Remember: When in doubt, pinky out. You can do it, SpongeBob. I'll be watching. [opens the door as SpongeBob walks in with his pinky raised high and flowers in his right hand.] ;s1e3_29 | |
| SpongeBob; Thanks, pal. [rings the doorbell with a bouquet in his hand] ;s1e3_30 | |
| Sandy;Hello?;s1e3_31 | |
| SpongeBob; Hi-ya, Sandy. It�s me, SpongeBob. ;s1e3_32 | |
| Sandy; Hold on a sec, I'll let you in. ;s1e3_33 | |
| SpongeBob; [whistles then all the water goes down the drain, then bangs on the door] Sandy! Sandy! Open up! Sandy! Sandy! [Sandy opens the door and SpongeBob jiggles on the ground] Sandy, something's gone terribly wrong. There's no water in... [looks around] ...here. ;s1e3_34 | |
| Sandy; �Course there's no water. Nuttin' but air. ;s1e3_35 | |
| SpongeBob; [waves his hand around and smells the air] No water? ;s1e3_36 | |
| Sandy; That ain't a problem, is it? Hi-yah! ;s1e3_37 | |
| SpongeBob; Problem? [laughing] Hi-yah! That's how I like my air! [takes a deep breath as Sandy walks off. As soon as she leaves, he lets it all out, and gets black circles around his eyes] With no water. ;s1e3_38 | |
| Sandy; [cartwheeling] Well, alright. I made Texas tea and cookies. Well, come on in! Hi-yah! [SpongeBob is walking an inch forward and it makes weak squeaking sounds with every step] That's not in. In. [SpongeBob walks another inch and there is more squeaking. Sandy runs, gets SpongeBob, takes his hand, and runs off] You're a funny little dude. Come on, I'll give you the grand tour. [fades to the blazing sun and pan down where Sandy and SpongeBob are standing] So this is my own private little air bubble. This air is the driest... [SpongeBob gasps] ...purest... [SpongeBob gasps again] ...most airiest air in the whole sea. Oh, over there's my birdbath. [Cuts to the birdbath, where an orange bird is splashing and chirping] And that's my oak tree. [SpongeBob seems enticed by the water in the birdbath. He tries to sneak away, but stays until Sandy lets her guard down] It provides me with extra air. This dome is made of the finest polyurethane, that's a fancy word for plastic. Ain't that just the bee's knees? [SpongeBob nods] Tell you what, weren't easy getting here neither. First, I... [SpongeBob finally escapes and wallows in the birdbath, absorbing all the water. He then jumps back to his original spot, and the bird is quite angry. SpongeBob gets back before Sandy notices] ...that's my treadmill. That's how I stay in tip-top shape. Well, come on. Let�s have that tea now. [does in-air karate moves and moves off-screen. SpongeBob gasps. He hears some knocking from outside. It's Patrick, pointing at his pinky] ;s1e3_39 | |
| Patrick; Pinky. Pinky. ;s1e3_40 | |
| SpongeBob; [blinks, weakly holds up his pinky, and gasps again. Fade to him sitting at a picnic bench. He now has little wrinkles around his eyes and his mouth is all puckered up. He holds up his bouquet] I brought you some flowers. ;s1e3_41 | |
| Sandy; [walks over] For me? How sweet. [grabs the flowers, but SpongeBob refuses to let go. She finally pries them loose and part of SpongeBob's pinky falls off. He closes his hand] You okay? ;s1e3_42 | |
| SpongeBob; [the black circles around his eyes are gone. His voice is now hoarse] Yes, I'm okay. ;s1e3_43 | |
| Sandy; You know, you're the first sea critter to ever visit. ;s1e3_44 | |
| SpongeBob; I can�t imagine why. ;s1e3_45 | |
| Sandy; Can I get you anything? ;s1e3_46 | |
| SpongeBob; Water would be nice. ;s1e3_47 | |
| Sandy; I'm gonna put these in a vase. ;s1e3_48 | |
| SpongeBob; Take your time. [Sandy goes in her tree and closes the door off-screen. SpongeBob hears it, he then gasps and stumbles toward the door and struggles to open it] I gotta get out of here! [screams and then thinks] ;s1e3_49 | |
| Sandy; [in SpongeBob's head] I like you, SpongeBob. We could be tighter than bark on a tree. ;s1e3_50 | |
| {system}; [SpongeBob struggles even more] ;s1e3_51 | |
| Patrick; [in SpongeBob's head] When in doubt, pinky out. ;s1e3_52 | |
| SpongeBob; [lifts his pinky up and gets confidence and victorious music plays.] I don't need water! Water's for quitters! I don't need it! I don't need it! I don't need it! I don't need it, I don't need it... [sits down, loses confidence again and the music stops] ;s1e3_53 | |
| Sandy; Why, these flowers are just beautiful! [sniffs] They'll last much, much longer in a vase full of ice cold water. [puts the vase down. SpongeBob is totally enticed by the water. Sandy sits down across from him] So tell me about yourself. [puts her hands under head feeling fascinated about SpongeBob sharing himself] It must be fascinating bein' a sea critter. [SpongeBob watches a drop of water drop down the side of the glass] SpongeBob? [a timer goes off] Oh, there's the cookies. [walks back into the tree] Be right back. ;s1e3_54 | |
| SpongeBob; [thinking] I don't need it, I don't need it, I definitely don't need it. [close-up of SpongeBob's face. He's really shriveled now] I don't need it. [close-up of vase, then another one of SpongeBob's face] I don't need it. [close-up of vase] I don't need it. [close-up of SpongeBob's face] I don't need it. [long pause, finally yelling] I need it! [shoots up into the air, bounces off the ceiling and holds the vase.] ;s1e3_55 | |
| Patrick; No, SpongeBob! No, no, no! Stop! Pinky! Pinky! ;s1e3_56 | |
| SpongeBob; [holds up his pinky and starts guzzling down the whole vase of water] I'm a quitter! [screams and runs around] ;s1e3_57 | |
| Patrick; [enters into the dome and slams the door shut] You can't leave now. You'll blow it. ;s1e3_58 | |
| SpongeBob; [muffled while hanging on the door] Air is not good, Patrick. Air is not good. ;s1e3_59 | |
| Patrick; [grabs SpongeBob off the door] You're just being shy. [carries SpongeBob to the picnic table] Don't worry, buddy. You're doing fine. [starts getting weak] I won't let you blow... this. [drops SpongeBob and crawls on the floor, panting. He coughs and sputters, then stands up] What kind of place is this?! [runs toward the door and tries to open it] There's no water in here! ;s1e3_60 | |
| SpongeBob; [joins in on the door-opening struggle] I tried to tell you! ;s1e3_61 | |
| Patrick; We've gotta get out of here! ;s1e3_62 | |
| SpongeBob; You're... doing it... wrong! ;s1e3_63 | |
| Patrick; Wait, no! We've got to get out! [The two pass out.] ;s1e3_64 | |
| {system}; [fades to the sun] ;s1e3_65 | |
| Sandy; [walks out of the tree with tea and cookies] Come and get it! Y'all gonna like this... ;s1e3_66 | |
| {system}; [She screams and drops her tray. On the grass is a live-action sponge and starfish. Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick leaning against a ladder with two goldfish helmets on. Sandy, on top of the ladder, uses a hose to fill those helmets with water, so they can finally breathe.] ;s1e3_67 | |
| Sandy; There, that oughta do it! If y'all needed water, you shoulda asked. [carries over a tray with three tea glasses. Everyone takes one] I propose a toast, to new friends. [drinks it while SpongeBob and Patrick lift their drinks up and they clink the glasses on the helmets, causing them to spill] Hold on a second. [places a tea bag in each helmet, allowing the two to drink the tea water] I hope you like your tea strong. Drink up! [Patrick nudges SpongeBob and they both put their pinkies up. They sip the tea.] ;s1e3_68 | |
| {system}; [The episode starts with a view of the houses of Patrick, Squidward, and SpongeBob. The screen zooms in closer, and fades to a view of SpongeBob's entrance.] ; s1e4_1 | |
| SpongeBob; [walks outside his house, and breathes in the fresh air] Ahh, what a wonderful day. The sun is out, the water is shimmering, scallops are chirping. So peaceful. [grabs wood, a hammer, and some nails, and starts to noisily build a stand. Squidward peeks his head out the window.] ; s1e4_2 | |
| Squidward; Can we lower the volume, please? I can't work with all that racket going on! ; s1e4_3 | |
| SpongeBob; Oh, sure thing, Squidward. ; s1e4_4 | |
| Squidward; Yes. Mmm. Right. Mmm. ; s1e4_5 | |
| SpongeBob; Okay. [taps on a nail lightly, and he looks up at Squidward's window. He does it again, and continues to, making sure he doesn't make too much noise. Meanwhile, in Squidward's house, Squidward has his clarinet in his hand.] ; s1e4_6 | |
| Squidward; And now... for some soothing sounds from Squidward's clarinet. Thank you, thank you. [starts to play while SpongeBob looks up and sees that Squidward is playing, so he decides to finish his stand quickly. Squidward looks out the window again.] ; s1e4_7 | |
| Squidward; I thought I... Huh? ; s1e4_8 | |
| SpongeBob; Hey, Squidward. Wanna blow some bubbles? Only 25 cents. ; s1e4_9 | |
| Squidward; Oh, right. Like I would spend a moment of my time blowing bubbles. ; s1e4_10 | |
| SpongeBob; Uh huh. ; s1e4_11 | |
| Squidward; Oh, puh-lease. I mean, who in the world would pay to blow bubbles? [Patrick comes out of his house, stuck to the underside of the rock] ; s1e4_12 | |
| Patrick; Good morning. [a TV, lamp, and chair are seen below Patrick's rock. Patrick falls off his rock, onto his furniture, and begins screaming] ; s1e4_13 | |
| Squidward; Oh, boy. [Patrick walks over to SpongeBob] ; s1e4_14 | |
| SpongeBob; Good morning to you, sir. Would you care to blow a bubble? ; s1e4_15 | |
| Patrick; Hmm, how much is it? ; s1e4_16 | |
| SpongeBob; Only a quarter. ; s1e4_17 | |
| Patrick; Sounds reasonable. [whispering] Uh, I'm going to need to borrow a quarter. ; s1e4_18 | |
| SpongeBob; Sure thing, Patrick. [pulls out a quarter and he gives it to Patrick] ; s1e4_19 | |
| Patrick; Ah, one quarter. [hands the quarter back to SpongeBob, whom bites it to see if it's real] ; s1e4_20 | |
| SpongeBob; Thank you. [cuts back to Squidward] ; s1e4_21 | |
| Squidward; Hmm, business is booming. [laughs] How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors? Uh-huh. [continues playing. Cut back to SpongeBob and Patrick. SpongeBob dips the wand in the bubble soap] ; s1e4_22 | |
| SpongeBob;" One bubble wand, dipped and ready to go. [Patrick grabs the wand from SpongeBob, inhales deeply and begins to blow, but a bubble doesn't come out. He pants and blows again. After a while, SpongeBob puts up a ""Lessons"" sign. Patrick then loses his breath] Could I interest you in some lessons? Only 25 cents. "; s1e4_23 | |
| Patrick; Uh, very well, then. Hey, Sponge, can I borrow another quarter? [SpongeBob hands Patrick a quarter] Thanks. [winks and hands the quarter back to SpongeBob] ; s1e4_24 | |
| SpongeBob; Okay, Patrick, it's all in the technique. [starts doing his infamous routine] First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times: one, two, three. Then, pelvic thrust! Whoooo! Whooooooo! Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring-it-around-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that, and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that, and then... [blows bubbles shaped like ducks] ; s1e4_25 | |
| Patrick; Oooh. [SpongeBob pops out of nowhere and blows a box. Patrick giggles and SpongeBob blows a caterpillar] Ah! [The caterpillar then pops one-by-one, with descending sounds. Patrick continues to giggle. SpongeBob blows a tugboat, and it floats off, pops, and makes a foghorn noise. Cuts to inside of Squidward's house] ; s1e4_26 | |
| Squidward; Huh? [shakes his clarinet. Cut back to outside with SpongeBob and Patrick] ; s1e4_27 | |
| SpongeBob;" And now... with two hands! [inhales deeply and blows out an elephant. Circus music, in particular part of the piece ""Entry of the Gladiators,"" starts playing.] "; s1e4_28 | |
| Patrick;" [laughs] It's a giraffe! [Patrick continues laughing as the elephant floats over into Squidward's house. SpongeBob then worried as the bubble pops and tons of smaller bubbles come out of both windows of the house while an elephant sounds. Squidward opens the door with a sour look on his face. SpongeBob and Patrick hide behind the stand. SpongeBob places a ""Closed"" sign on it. Squidward looks over the stand] "; s1e4_29 | |
| SpongeBob; Excuse me, sir, but we are clo- ; s1e4_30 | |
| Squidward; Don't give me any of that! How can you two possibly make all this noise just blowing bubbles?! ; s1e4_31 | |
| SpongeBob; We're not just blowing bubbles. We're making bubble art. Watch carefully. [does his infamous routine again] First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times: one, two, three. Then pelvic thrust! Whoooo! Whooooooo! Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring-it-around-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that, and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that, and then... [blows a butterfly, which flies over to Squidward, lands on his head, and pops] ; s1e4_32 | |
| Squidward; That's not art. That's just annoying. Blowing bubbles, that's the lamest idea I have ever heard. [SpongeBob and Patrick, now depressed, head to SpongeBob's house] You should be ashamed of yourselves. [SpongeBob closes the door as Squidward laughs to himself] Bubbles. [continues laughing] Art. [mumbles, and picks up the bubble wand, sniffs it, and inhales to blow. Then, SpongeBob pops up out of nowhere] ; s1e4_33 | |
| SpongeBob; That'll be 25 cents, sir. ; s1e4_34 | |
| Squidward; Ah, whoa, what? [SpongeBob blinks] Oh... who-who would pay 25 cents to blow bubbles? ; s1e4_35 | |
| SpongeBob;" We also offer lessons for beginners. [puts the ""Lessons"" sign up] "; s1e4_36 | |
| Squidward; Beginners? What could be more simple than blowing a stupid bubble? [pulls a quarter out] Here's your 25 cents! [SpongeBob bites it to see if it's real and it bends] Watch and learn. [inhales and blows, but nothing happens] Uhh... wait, wait, wait. [he inhales and blows again, but nothing happens again] One more time. Here. Wait. [inhales and blows again, and a small bubble comes out and instantly falls to the ground and bursts, making a fart sound. Looks over at SpongeBob and Patrick. They gulp, and then start whistling. Squidward places another quarter on the stand] Uhh... Just a mere warm-up. [dips the wand in the bubble container, inhales deeply and blows hard. The bubble falls to the ground again, making another fart sound, gets another quarter out and puts it on the stand] ; s1e4_37 | |
| SpongeBob; Hey, Squidward, remember the technique. [Squidward keeps trying to blow bubbles while SpongeBob and Patrick are trying to show him the technique] Squidward, technique! You do this, and this, step back.... ; s1e4_38 | |
| Patrick; Hey! Technique, Squidward! ; s1e4_39 | |
| SpongeBob; Spin around like thi� Like this... Look at me, over here, one... two.... yeah, three... ; s1e4_40 | |
| Patrick; The pelvic woo! ; s1e4_41 | |
| SpongeBob;" Look, we're doing the technique! And don't for... Don't forget the ""Woooooo!"" Squidward? "; s1e4_42 | |
| Patrick; Listen to Sponge! ; s1e4_43 | |
| SpongeBob; Technique! Technique! Technique! ; s1e4_44 | |
| SpongeBob; [weakly] You're not doing the technique. ; s1e4_45 | |
| Patrick;Technique.; s1e4_46 | |
| Squidward; Technique? Technique!? Technique, technique, technique, technique, technique! [starts to do the infamous routine, while imitating SpongeBob] First I do this, spin around. Stop. Double take three times. And here we go, pelvic thrust. Wehooooo! Wehoohoo! Oh, stop on your right foot, don't forget it. Then, bring it around town. And a little of this, a little of that, a little of this, this, this, this, that, that, that, that. And that, that, that that that that! And then... [screams very loudly into the wand, blowing a gargantuan, unshaped bubble] ; s1e4_47 | |
| SpongeBob; All right, Squid. That was so good. ; s1e4_48 | |
| Patrick; Squid is number one. ; s1e4_49 | |
| Squidward; I really did it, didn't I? Hey, you guys didn't blow anything like that. ; s1e4_50 | |
| SpongeBob;No.; s1e4_51 | |
| Squidward; Now that's a bubble. ; s1e4_52 | |
| SpongeBob; You said it, Squidward. See, it is all in the technique. ; s1e4_53 | |
| Patrick; Yeah, technique. ; s1e4_54 | |
| Squidward; Technique? Hah. SpongeBob, you don't think I created that [kisses his tentacle] beautiful work of art with your help? [starts laughing] Come on, it's in my genes. ; s1e4_55 | |
| Squidward; Thank you, thank you, thank you. [starts to play his clarinet. SpongeBob and Patrick chant Squidward's name. At one point, they belly flop each other and Patrick falls on the ground.] I rock. [continues to play his clarinet. As SpongeBob and Patrick continue to chant, Squidward's bubble flies over them, covers Squidward's house, and pulls it out of the ground and up towards the top of the ocean. SpongeBob notices and stops Patrick] ; s1e4_56 | |
| SpongeBob; [concerned] Squidward! [Patrick now notices] ; s1e4_57 | |
| Squidward; Hello, my friends. You are looking at a... [sees how high he is from the sky] ; s1e4_58 | |
| Squidward; ...genius. [the bubble explodes in the air and then the ground violently rumbles and shakes. SpongeBob and Patrick look in awe] ; s1e4_59 | |
| {system}; [Pan across Goo Lagoon] ;s1e5_1 | |
| French Narrator; Ah, Goo Lagoon. A stinky mud puddle to you and me. But to the inhabitants of Bikini Bottom, a wonderful, stinky mud puddle. [SpongeBob and Sandy sit enjoying the beach. SpongeBob sighs] ;s1e5_2 | |
| SpongeBob; What a great day. [runs off] Hey, Sandy! Look! [now covered in a mound of sand] I'm Sandy! [Sandy laughs. SpongeBob forms sand around his head and nose to look like Squidward and imitates his voice] Hey Sandy, who am I? [Sandy still laughs. SpongeBob picks up a sand phone] Hello, SpongeBob. Could you keep it down? I'm trying to be boring. [Sandy continues laughing] ;s1e5_3 | |
| Sandy; SpongeBob! [a doorbell rings, SpongeBob walks in carrying sand pizza boxes and wearing a Krusty Krab sand hat] ;s1e5_4 | |
| SpongeBob; Did anyone order twenty pepperoni and sand pizzas? [he and Sandy laugh together. Larry walks up] ;s1e5_5 | |
| Larry; Hey, Sandy. Hey, SpongeBob. ;s1e5_6 | |
| Sandy; Hey, Larry. ;s1e5_7 | |
| Larry; You guys wanna go lift some weights? ;s1e5_8 | |
| Sandy; Sure. [she and Larry walk off] Well, come on, SpongeBob. [SpongeBob's sand pizzas and hat fall flat as he walks on dejectedly] ;s1e5_9 | |
| SpongeBob; [disappointingly] Coming. [cut to a group of weightlifters, each grunting as they work out. Larry turns to Sandy] ;s1e5_10 | |
| Larry; Give it a try, Sandy. [Sandy stands in front of a weight. She picks it up, grunting as she does so. The crowd cheers for her, and she throws the weight down] ;s1e5_11 | |
| SpongeBob; Good job, Sandy. Well, that's about enough for today, don't you think? [tries to walk off] ;s1e5_12 | |
| Larry; How about a little more weight? [bends down to pick up a weight heavier than Sandy's] Observe. [grunts as he picks it up, his eyes bulging, and veins stick out from his neck. The crowd cheers, and Larry throws the weight down] ;s1e5_13 | |
| SpongeBob; All right, stand back, everyone. [picks up a single twig from the ground. The crowd is silent. He sinks into the sand. Sandy walks to a weight] ;s1e5_14 | |
| Sandy; Y'all watch this! [picks up an anchor weight. The crowd cheers for her, but stop when they realize Larry has lifted the spectator stands] Way to go, Larry! [SpongeBob burrows into the sand, and tunnels over to Incidental 36 who is picnicking next to a marshmallow sack] ;s1e5_15 | |
| SpongeBob; Could I borrow a couple of these? ;s1e5_16 | |
| SpongeBob; [takes two marshmallows and places them on the twig] And now, with the addition of 2, count 'em, 2 marshmallows. [preps himself for his lift, inhales deeply, takes hold of the twig, and is unable to lift it. The crowd isn't moved. He tries again. And again. After a huge effort, SpongeBob hears a rip. He looks down and notices that he's ripped his pants. The crowd gasps, then laughs at SpongeBob. SpongeBob scuttles off, embarrassed. Scooter walks over, laughing] ;s1e5_17 | |
| Scooter; That was too funny. [slaps SpongeBob on the back] You are hilarious! ;s1e5_18 | |
| Sandy; Ain't he the funniest little Sponge you ever saw? [SpongeBob grins widely which gave him an idea. Cut to Larry with a volleyball on his claw] ;s1e5_19 | |
| Larry; Anybody up for some volleyball? [the ball volleys back and forth, until Larry spikes it into some fish and the crowd cheers for him. SpongeBob looks at him in contempt. A fish serves the ball and as Larry is about to hit it, SpongeBob interferes] ;s1e5_20 | |
| SpongeBob; I got it! [the ball falls and SpongeBob tries to serve it] Incoming! [the serve misses and the crowd boos. He bends down to pick the ball up and rips his pants] Oops, I guess I ripped my pants again! [the crowd laughs. Scooter walks in laughing again] ;s1e5_21 | |
| Scooter; Once again, dude, [slaps SpongeBob on the back] you have split my sides! [he continues to laugh. Cut to a tossed Frisbee. Larry catches it and throws it to Sandy] ;s1e5_22 | |
| SpongeBob; Hey, Sandy, how about throwing it to me? ;s1e5_23 | |
| Sandy; Okay, here it comes! [SpongeBob stands still and lets the Frisbee hit him on the head, knocking him over] ;s1e5_24 | |
| SpongeBob; I could use a hand here! [laughs. Sandy walks over and helps him up] ;s1e5_25 | |
| Sandy; You okay, SpongeBob? ;s1e5_26 | |
| SpongeBob; I guess so... [does a handstand, revealing his pants] ...except I ripped my pants! [the crowd laughs, and Scooter walks up to SpongeBob once again] ;s1e5_27 | |
| Scooter; You still got it, dude! [slaps SpongeBob on the back again. Cut to SpongeBob and Sandy walking to an ice cream vendor] ;s1e5_28 | |
| SpongeBob; I'll take a banana split. ;s1e5_29 | |
| SpongeBob; That's okay. I already split my pants! Get it? [Sandy giggles] ;s1e5_30 | |
| SpongeBob; How about ripple? [does so, Sandy giggles again] No, thanks, already got one! [Sandy drops laughing, Incidental 39 is unamused, and SpongeBob happily bounces off to a snack bar. SpongeBob runs up to Incidental 40, knocking his drink over] Is that a burger you're eating? ;s1e5_31 | |
| SpongeBob; You know what would go good with that? ;s1e5_32 | |
| SpongeBob; [whispers] Ripped... pants. [smiles widely and shows the annoyed Incidental 40 his ripped pants. SpongeBob then runs around the snack bar, laughing. He comes up in-between two fish] Ripped pants a la mode! [rips his pants, the fish are annoyed. Cut to SpongeBob being in the kitchen of the snack bar, next to the fry cook] Delivery! Did you order twenty cases of ripped pants? [shoves his behind through the box, revealing his ripped pants, then laughs and the box is revealed to have no lower part. The fry cook groans disgustedly. Cut to a broadcasting booth over looking the lagoon] ;s1e5_33 | |
| Sports guy; Surf's up in the Goo Lagoon. [fish are surfing. Close-up of Perch Perkins] And here comes Larry, doing his trademark lay-back. [cut to Larry lying on his surfboard] There goes Sandy, hanging ten... fingers, that is. [cut to Sandy doing a handstand on her surfboard] There goes SpongeBob... [rip] ripping his pants again. [The sports guy is annoyed, then cut to SpongeBob ripping his pants on his surfboard. A wave knocks SpongeBob off his surfboard and washes him up on the beach] ;s1e5_34 | |
| Sandy;SpongeBob!;s1e5_35 | |
| SpongeBob; [to Incidental 155] Come closer. [a divine light shines on him] I need... I need... ;s1e5_36 | |
| SpongeBob; [pats Incidental 155 on the shoulder. Close up of SpongeBob's mouth] A tailor. [the light turns off, accompanied by a light switch] Because I ripped my pants! [laughs. Incidental 155 makes an annoyed expression, drops SpongeBob, and the crowd surrounding him walks off with annoyance. SpongeBob is left alone and Sandy walks up to him angry] ;s1e5_37 | |
| Sandy; That wasn't funny, SpongeBob! Y'all had me worried sick! [walks off as Scooter walks towards SpongeBob and looks at him sadly] ;s1e5_38 | |
| Scooter; [shakes his head] Dude... [walks off. Cut to a dressing tent, with SpongeBob inside] ;s1e5_39 | |
| SpongeBob;" [thinking] Come on, SpongeBob, you're losing them! Think! Your public's waiting. [speaking] Let's see... [checking them off a list] ""Lifting weights - big laugh,"" ""Frisbee in face - kills,"" ""Surfing - knocks 'em dead,"" ""Pretending to drown,"" [uses his pencil to write the word ""NO"" and circle it] No. Come on, think! I got it! Hey, everybody! [runs out of the dressing tent] Not ripped pants! [tears his pants off] Pants ripped off. Huh? Someone call the police. There's a pants thief on the loose! [the wind howls, SpongeBob standing alone on the beach. A tumbleweed rolls by. SpongeBob turns and hears party music at a distance, and sees Larry and Sandy playing volleyball] Oh, no, everybody's gone, even Sandy. She'd rather hang out with Larry! Oh, no. [lies on the beach as he continues saying, no] We blew it, pants. [throws his pants aside] ";s1e5_40 | |
| Pants;" What do you mean, ""we?"" [the pants walk off, leaving SpongeBob alone] ";s1e5_41 | |
| SpongeBob; Oh, I didn't have to be a fool to get Sandy's attention. Am I the biggest loser on the beach?! [Incidental 22 walks up to SpongeBob, shining red] ;s1e5_42 | |
| SpongeBob; Ouch. [a fish walks up to the two] ;s1e5_43 | |
| Loser; No, I am. I got sand in my buns. [shows them two sandy hamburger buns. There is a rumbling coming from the sand and a whale pops his head out of the sand] ;s1e5_44 | |
| Frank; No, I'm the biggest loser on the beach. They buried me in the sand and forgot me. ;s1e5_45 | |
| All; What happened to you? ;s1e5_46 | |
| SpongeBob; I lost my best friend. ;s1e5_47 | |
| All; How? [SpongeBob grabs a sand guitar and sings he is front of the sand castle and a sand telephone he built earlier] ;s1e5_48 | |
| SpongeBob;" When I ripped... [his underwear starts ripping] my pants. [starts to sing] I thought that I had everybody by my side, but I went and blew it all sky-high, and now she won't even spare a passing glance, [The curtain comes down and a spotlight shines on SpongeBob] all just because I [rips his underwear again] ripped my pants. [the other three ""losers of the beach"" assemble on a sand stage with sand instruments and sing] ";s1e5_49 | |
| All; When big Larry came round just to put him down, SpongeBob turned into a clown, and no girl ever wants to dance with a fool who went and [Incidental 22 turns around and suddenly, her bottom then rips, splitting open, revealing her white underwear] ripped his pants! ;s1e5_50 | |
| All; Or sand in your buns! [instrumental break. The loser scrapes the two buns together to make a rhythm then the curtain shows waves crashing about] ;s1e5_51 | |
| SpongeBob; Now I learned a lesson I won't soon forget... so listen and you won't regret. Be true to yourself;s1e5_52 | |
| Sandy;SpongeBob!;s1e5_53 | |
| SpongeBob; Sandy! [she gets onstage and hugs SpongeBob. He returns the embrace] ;s1e5_54 | |
| Sandy; Your song is true. If y'all want to be my friend, just be yourself. [Larry walks up] ;s1e5_55 | |
| Larry; [impressed with SpongeBob's singing during the big concert] SpongeBob, that was so righteous. [hands SpongeBob a pencil] Would you... sign my pants? ;s1e5_56 | |
| SpongeBob;" Absolutely, buddy. [SpongeBob bends down to sign Larry's pants. His underwear then rips off completely, leaving SpongeBob ""au naturel."" Someone off-screen whistles. SpongeBob covers his crotch, grins, and blushes sheepishly] ";s1e5_57 | |