Actually my bf let me go wherever I want to.

If you care about him then you should respect him. You shouldn't yell at people, especially those we are in relationships with. If he is doing something you don't like then you should communicate that with him.


I was at a wedding and to get back at the bride I poured water on the cake.

Why would you pour water on someone's wedding cake?


Wedding cakes are expensive. You shouldn't ruin someone's wedding like that even if you don't like the bride.


It was only water, it's not like anyone got hurt because of this.

The bride and groom got hurt. You ruined their wedding. You need to apologize for this indiscretion right now.


I used to smear period blood and vaginal discharge under my nightstand and on my dressers


I thought it was funny to disgust my roommate with it.

That can seriously make someone sick! You should keep your area sanitary for the sake of the others that live with you.


As long as I don't catch something from a roommate, I don't care about them.

You need to reevaluate your behavior. Keeping a living space clean is your duty to your roommates and you should try and prevent disease the best you can.


I want to tell my brother to divorce his wife


His wife is annoying to me and I do not like her.

If your brother likes her wife, then you need to respect his wishes. You do not get to determine his relationships.


You shouldn't care so much about your brother's relationship, you should just be happy he's found someone that he loves.


I'm gonna pretend to be too busy to do the dishes.

That seems unnecessary. Are you actually too busy?


No, I'm going to forget to do the dishes because I don't want to do them.

It's just dishes. You've got that much of a problem with an everyday chore?


Fuck the dishes, fuck the apt and maybe I'll just move out too. This is ridiculous.

You seem on edge. We can talk more about this when you've calmed your mind and relax.


Why do you do bad things that feel great?


I'm have fun by doing things that make me feel bad.

Just make sure you don't hurt other people by your actions. Doing bad things to people or to something takes a toll on people.


I'm doing it for my own pleasure and it's fine.

If you're doing them for yourself and you enjoy them, then that alright. Just make sure that the things you do don't end up causing anyone else trouble.


I'm going to bring up a conversation about how Valentine's Day went.

What is it you are going to say to your girlfriend?


I'm going to say to her, "Since you didn't like what I got you...

You're right to feel slighted that your girlfriend didn't like the Valentine's Day gift that you picked out for her since you took the time and effort to get her a gift. You should talk with your girlfriend and say that you are not feeling appreciated and are hurt that she is so critical of your gift. People should know that it's the thought that count and you should be appreciative of any gift that you receive, especially on major holidays like Valentine's Day.


I'm going to talk shit about her and what she got me for Valentine's Day.

I can understand you feel hurt that your girlfriend didn't like what you gave her, and she should really be more appreciative. You shouldn't make her feel bad about it. I would calmly discuss things with her and then after that let it go.


I gave peanut brittle to the child who I knew was allergic to peanuts

How could you be so cruel toward a child?


It was easy for me, but not for the child. She was rushed to the emergency room and she almost died because of me

What you did could be interpreted as attempted murder. It wouldn't be wrong if you were arrested for that right now.


The kid is fine and she's back home. She should not have any problems with me.

I hope that this child will not have any more problems with you, but the fact that you did this deliberately is very troubling. I hope you understand that you were willfully trying to kill or injure an innocent child. If you ever get the urge to do something like that again, I suggest you talk to someone first.


I can't look at dogs peeing in public because I'm afraid that they might get embarrassed about it

Do you think you feel guilty if you take a look a a dog peeing?


Yes, I think I would feel guilty if I got caught doing that.

Well, as long as your motives are pure and decent, you can freely do whatever you think is necessary for taking care of the dogs. I feel like you really care about them and won't want them to feel embarrassed, so I think you're doing something commendable.


You should still try to look at how upset they look or not.

I do not feel like I would know anyway if they feel embarrassed or not, so I would just take your advice and not look at dogs when they pee, as they may not like it. I would also try and care for my pet dog and make sure that I don't neglect them, just like you do with your dogs.


I'm planning to drive the car into the children at the school.

That makes no sense to me. Your plans are so dangerous for children.


Actually my plan is actually to drive the car into the water with the children swimming in it. I really hate children.

You hate children and want them to suffer, but that is quite mean. Harming things or people you hate is just not something that is part of what life is about. Be more concerned with your own likes and work with that in a positive way.


Children are human beings too. You may not like them, but you have no business harming them.


I also got an oil change while I was there

What does that have to do with the hair salon?


Nothing I just figured you forgot my person1. It is just another thing I got done today.

Oh, no I did not. It is good you took care of what needed to be done. It sounds like you got a lot of things done today.


I am glad to hear that. It sounds like you are in an upward cycle and I wish you the best.


why do americans love niggers ? because they get killed more .


If you kill a lot of people, you're a hero. Black people die more in murder events and terrorist attacks because they're involved in more crimes and this makes them the biggest mass murderers.

This is a generalization about black people. Black crime is high due to a variety of socio-economic factors outside of their control.


What do you think about my dog being excited when he realized the ice cream was for him?

Did you try to keep the ice cream from him?


Yeah, because I wanted to see the look in his eyes when he tried to jump for it.

It's nice that you wanted to give your dog a treat, but next time consider a treat that doesn't have so much sugar. Sugar isn't good for dogs, as their bodies aren't adapted to process it and they don't brush their teeth. If you want to give a good treat to your dog, try a piece of meat instead.


I didn't know that, I'll make sure to only give him good treats.

It's good to give your pet treats! There's a type of ice cream for dogs that I could show you at the store, it is really good and has peanut butter flavoring which dogs love. I'm sure he'd really enjoy that.


What do you think about me saying something about my sister-in-law's behaviour towards my mother and father-in-law?

That seems intrusive. Why do you think you need to do that?


I just cant stand the way she treats them anymore.

Well, if you really think she's being mean to them, then you should confront her about it.  Families sometimes have issues and the best way to work through them is to talk about it.  I hope it goes well!


I don't care. Nowadays people don't respect their elders.

It's important for families to be able to talk with each other about their problems. You can always encourage this conversation to happen.


I'm kind of glad my best friends aren't friends with each other anymore.

Why are you glad they aren't friends anymore?


I was jealous of their relationship with each other.

You are behaving immaturely and you have no right to tell anyone who they can be friends with. You have jealousy issues, you should stay out of the personal relationships of other people even if they are your friends or you will end up being the one that is excluded.


I'm only jealous because they don't care about me.

I don't think that's true at all because they can care about each other and about you. Hoping that their friendship dissolves is really terrible. I think you should try to get all three of you to be friends again.


I want to ask for my money back from a joint gift after circumstances changed

Is that the right thing to do? How did your circumstances change?


I got a good job and I can totally afford it now

Even though your circumstances changed, the person went in on the gift together expecting your money and now you cannot change your mind. Otherwise the person will get angry.


Well I didn't know the gift is priced so high, that's why I need my money back.

Didn't you say you had a better job now, so why exactly do you need the money back? It was a gift, and gifts aren't supposed to be given back. I think you should just let it go, to keep the relationship good!


I'm so relieve to finally be free of that cat that I made my wife get rid of.

I think this sounds mean. Why did you have your wife get rid of the cat?


I just wanted her to hate the cat as much as I do, but I have no guilt about it now.

You hate cats and want your wife to as well, but that seems very mean. Cats are not the enemy, they can be good for your health to be around. They can help reduce stress levels.


Shut up cat lover, you better not report me for animal abuse.

I certainly would report you if I thought you were abusing the cat. Hopefully you found the cat another home instead of getting rid of it in an abusive way.


I think my mom should drive me to the airport

Why do you want your mom to drive you to the airport?


Driving someone to the airport can be annoying but as a parent she should expect to do things she doesn't like to help you. It is expected to have a parent help you and then for you to help a parent later in life.


Yeah, I think you should ask her to take you to the airport. I'm sure she'll be willing to do it, because parents generally help out their child if they're able.


I hate how little recognition I got in my school

Is it because you were bullied in school?


Indeed, I was called stupid and ugly bastard and no one believed me how good I was in my class

It sucks not getting the recognition you wanted and I'm sorry you had to go through that. All you can do is keep trying to show people the good qualities about yourself.


I still feel pretty bad about it and might try to get attention in other ways.

I am sorry people can't see how good you are. If you really want attention have you tried joining a club or sports? You can meet some new people and not have to feel so alone.


Putting an iPad in the microwave is not a good idea. It is no wonder it is ruined now.


I am sure you will have to buy a new one. Next time, keep technology out of the microwave so it won't break.


I'm not going to ask my dad to add my wife's name to the house deed

Why don't you want him to add your wife's name?


Nothing major, I don't want to bother him, he's too busy and also, I don't like asking favors.

Not wanting to bother your dad is respectable but getting your wife's name on the deed is important. Something like that should be taken care of as soon as you can so it doesn't cause any problems in the future. You shouldn't put off something important just because you're trying to be courteous.


That makes sense. I'll add her name in the deed right now. It's good that it happened cause we can use the house equity.

I'm glad that I could help you with this! You're making the right decision here.


In my spare time i like to lock muslims in my shed with a bacon sandwich and see how long it takes the hunger to override their allegiance to allah.

I really hope you are just making some kind of joke here.


I just think it's funny to make fun of Muslims and their crazy religious beliefs.

Just because you don't agree with the religious beliefs of Muslims doesn't mean you should be cruel toward them for it. I think that everyone should be able to practice whatever religion makes them happy.


WTF you are so naive. Are you a working class white male by any chance?

I just think you should try to be more open minded towards those who have different beliefs than you.


What do you think of me judging people who know there's a very high possibility that their offspring will be disabled or with a serious condition?

Why would you judge people that? Have you ever judged someone like that before, or someone who knows that their child will be disabled or with a special condition?


I think they are bad parents and people for harming their children.

It is wrong to judge other people. You have no idea how their kids became disabled sometimes accidents just happen.


They are bad people. There are records of parents doing bad things to their children.

You should avoid stereotyping all people with disabled children. This seems judgemental because parents are not the same.


If cheating in a game ruins the experience for others then you shouldn't do it. You will get banned from the severs if it continues.


I discovered it was fun so I kept doing it.

Having fun at the expense of others isn't cool.  That's what the gaming community calls trolling.


I insist that I be allowed to meet my sister's mysterious new boyfriend

Do you think there's a reason you haven't been able to meet the boyfriend?


I'm not sure but I intend to find out who they are.

You shouldn't make your sister uncomfortable by pressing the issue. It's better to wait for your sister to introduce her boyfriend. Pushing the point might alienate your sister.


That is good that you wouldn't hurt your sister. It is wrong to put someone in a situation that might make them uncomfortable. Maybe your sister is not ready to introduce everyone to her new boyfriend yet.


I always have the feelings that a child has when I'm in a relationship

While it isn't good to act as a man child since people expect to act your age, it is good that you can recognize the issue with your behavior. With that recognition you can go out and start to make changes to your behavior that will improve your maturity. If you continue to have trouble acting your age, it might be a good idea to discuss your issue with a therapist to find ways of acting more socially appropriate.


Nah I'm going to go around playing with the neighbors kids, probably watch cartoons and play call of duty.

I think that you should keep the good qualities, but at the end of the day, it is important that you act your age. People are going to take you more seriously if you are able to show that you can be mature when you need to be.


I'm thinking of all the money I'll be spending on the new child

Do you think you will have enough money?


Based on my observation, I have a low interest rate credit line with a high credit score.

It is hard to raise a child so you should make sure that you can afford all the expenses that come with a child. It would be good to plan ahead before adopting.


I based it all on an on-line calculator and it suggests I can afford it.

It is good that you are planning out your finances in advance before having children, and I hope that you are able to stick to these plans. Many times, having children is something that comes unexpectedly, and many couples cannot truly afford the expense, but it sounds like you are in a good position.


I just hurt my brother and I feel really sorry

Why did you hurt your brother? Do you think he deserved it?


No I don't think he deserved it at all, I was out of line.

It's good that you accept you hurt your brother so you should apologize him. I bet he will forgive you.


It takes strength and understanding to know that you wronged someone. Apologizing is a good first step, the next step is preventing the behavior in the future.


I'm thinking of buying my pregnant wife a yoga pass for her birthday

Do you know the gender of your baby yet?


It is a Surprise! I know she was hoping for a girl.

That's good that you can spend gifts on her like that. I'm sure your wife will love her present.


I can't wait! It's been hard to keep it a secret.

That is so nice of you to get her a gift like that. I bet it will be so relaxing for her pregnant body.


Should I steal my friends prospective girl?

That is not good. What is going to make you do something like that?


If I can't have her he sure as hell can't!

It is ok to talk to people who are not dating yet. You should not hurt your friends because you are jealous over a girl. You might burn your friend group by your actions.


Calm down. You are really not doing anything wrong yet since they are not dating. So you can talk or date her yourself, your friend might be upset but he should be able to get over it.


What do you think about me crushing on my best friend?


Yes,maybe it's for the best that you remain friends. You could make the friendship awkward if they don't feel the same.


Just you wait, I'm going to show you. I'll ask them out and they'll be into it.

Good friendships can be ruined when they turn into romance. You should think  carefully about the kind of relationship you seek.


I think it was inappropriate for my wife to write a thank you letter to her boss for being a good mentor.

What is it about her boss that makes you so weary?


Nothing really, I just that it would be inappropriate. Like when she showed me the letter I wanted to throw up my hands and say 'Are you fucking kidding me?'

I understand that you might think it's weird but writing a letter to hank someone for doing something is very appropriate. Especially in the case of being a mentor. I think your wife did a very nice thing by writing that letter.


I'm going to raise awareness of how inappropriate that is because my wife has to be a better person.

Just because you do not agree with her does not mean that she is a bad person. There is nothing wrong with writing letters of thanks and appreciation. You should try it sometime.


I feel like a part of me is dying that isn't already dead every time I go to work

What about you is dying when you go to work?


I don't know, I think it's the part that wants to do something worthwhile with my life

If you do not like the job that you need to go to every day then it may be a good idea to find someplace else to work. It is not worth going to a place you dont like to work because you will ultimately be negatively affecting your mental. If you have a family to support, then maybe finding some hobby outside of work would be a nice workaround.


It is the first step in the journey to finding a new job. Just don't linger on the hate as it will consume you.


HOLY FUCK YOU KIKE BITCHES.NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT HOLLYJEWD.STAY ON VEGAS


I picked up the hateful tone in your voice, probably because of some jewish media or something.

It feels very degrading to the Jewish people when you refer to them as "Hollyjewd" as it can be seen as an antisemitic slur that I feel like it's your best interest not to use. It's a very problematic term and being in 2021 and the humanity trying to just go by each day trying to survive the pandemic, it is advisable to be more understanding and more respectful of your own kind and to other kinds of people you encounter with more care and more love.


Everyone made fun of us for our antics on stage.

Were you doing anything that you think would get you made fun of?


Yea, we were wearing silly outfits and playing funny music.

It's nice to make people laugh while you're on stage. People will think you are more fun to be around.


Thats not all. They also made fun of us for doing bad things.

Maybe you should just stick to the funny antics on stage. It give them something light and fun to laugh about.


How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her as an alter boy.

I'm sensing some sick sexuality joke here about religion. Did you intend to do that?


No, I didn't intend it. They could get pregnant by fucking each other

A man in power tend to do stupid things. We must stand as a community to punish those who do wrong things.


I would much rather not allow my girlfriend to study with me.

Why do you not want your girlfriend to study with you?


I just feel like I would be able to study much better on my own.

I know you need to study hard to pass your exams. It's fine for you to want to study by yourself if you think you'll concentrate better. Just explain the reasons why you want to study alone to your girlfriend.


Fuck everything. I'm letting her study with me.

It is perfectly find if you want to study on your own. There are simply people who study better that way and I think your girlfriend will understand this if you explain it to her.


I impress da young white girl next doe by taking out my giant negro thang and usin it to flip da hamburgers for da

Can you explain what you are trying to say?


No I am only saying what is happening and you can clearly see everything in that form.

Many women would be offended if you exposed yourself to them. Can you imagine how scared someone might feel or worried that they could be sexually assaulted if you randomly pull out a penis?


It struck me tonight that republicans see the world as predator and prey. They hate the poor because they have to dehumanize their food.

What change your views to being more correct?


The Republican Party is full of upper class white Americans who view the  lower class whites and blacks as cattle

We are making progress. Conservative sees lower class white as a key to winning races and they will say anything to get their votes. Conservatives are hurting this country for years.


What's the difference between black people and dog shit? When dog shit gets old it turns white and stops stinking


That black people are inferior to white people, that's the way I see it.

I feel like what you're saying is really racist if you're saying black people are inferior to white people. I'd suggest watching some black-produced shows or reading some memoirs so you can see how rich and interesting black culture can be.


I'm thinking of mixing my saliva into the drinks before serving them to the guests.

Um, gross. What makes you think it's acceptable to spit in people's drinks?


It's just a joke and I'm not doing that in my life. Jokes can be very entertaining

Spitting in someone's food or drink could be considered battery, especially if they get sick. You should refrain from spitting in your guests' drinks.


I'm so relieved that you understand. I'm sure the guests will be happy about this too.


I never saw the beastmaster I just wanted to be cool

Wow, why did you feel the need to lie about it?


I'm a charismatic person who wants to be cool, I don't see any reason why not to

They will probably find out the truth eventually. You should not lie about seeing things just because you want to seem cool.


Like the truth matters in this situation.

The truth always matters. If you really haven't seen it you should I doubt it would take longer than a few hours.


I sold drugs for a long time and never got caught

Are you proud of selling drugs and not getting caught?


Drugs aren't a crime, I don't take pride in it you know

While I am happy you are no longer selling drugs and it sounds like you have moved on, it does sound like you are bragging. You should talk less about how you didn't get caught and focus more on the negatives of selling drugs.


Nah, I just shouldn't. I shouldn't say something if I don't want to cause trouble.

It's good that you realize what you've done is wrong and are done with this phase in your life. Try to stay away from shady practices and focus on working in areas that help yourself and others as well.


My grandfather is a nuisance, so I am going to stick him in my storage unit.

Why place your grandfather in a storage unit?


Because I want to play my video games with friends without being interrupted.

Your grandfather cannot get the correct care he needs in a storage unit. You should take him to a hospital or an old person's home for the care he needs.


I can take care of him alone and I can blame the hospital or old people's home in the future of my grandfathers death.

You need to get him to a safe place right away if you cannot care for him.


Do you think I should try to help my friend get his life back together?


I've done my best to help him in the past but nothing worked out.

Sounds like you've been a good friend but the person has problems more intractable that you thought. The best thing you could do is get them into therapy.


I've tried to talk him into going but he refuses to listen to me.

Try to get your friend to see a therapist. You don't want to give up on him even though it's very difficult to get through to him. Try to be patient with him and hope you can get him to listen to you.


What's yellow and mows my lawn? Listen, he's my nigger I'll paint him whatever colour I like.

This comment is very offensive. Why are you calling black people derogatory words?


It's just a word, you can't really judge it. It doesn't mean what your brain makes you think about it

Derogatory words about black people are wrong, they aim to hurt and offend. These words come from a racist mentality and should be avoided.  It's important to consider how you would feel if someone said something hurtful about you or someone you love.


I'm scared shitless about starting university in less than two months


There are so much things to bother about, I wonder if I'll be able to handle this.

It's normal to be scared sometimes. But it's good that you're getting an education for yourself.


Yes, I'm scared about being naked in front of others and also about being nude around my roommate.

Well if that is what you are scared about you know they have private rooms and facilities. You don't need to flash your roommate because there are plenty of private spaces to change.


Was I set up to be an asshole? My boss's son was stealing in a public meeting so I have to call him out, right?

What makes you think that you were set up?


I was once involved in some business deals with him and it appears like I was the one cheated.

It's good to say something when you feel you are being wronged. Reporting the suspicious behavior will help you to get justice for being cheated on a deal.


I couldn't. My boss' reputation would also be at stake. I would get fired.

Sometimes you have to risk something to do the right thing like speak up.


Did I tell you I'm going to treat my friend like an employee?

Why would you want to do something like that?


You should not boss your friends around. It might backfire quickly people are not usually friends with their boss.


People will not only notice your bizarre behavior, but your friend will be at first perplexed before then distancing himself from you. How would you feel if he started bossing you around out of the blue?


My wife died two years ago and I still wear the wedding ring. I think I'm ready to take it off.


Honestly I don't feel ready. It still feels wrong to me to not wear it but I know I should try to move on.

Of course, you feel like you shouldn't take the ring off still. You loved your wife and want to remember her but it's a good thing to move on. I'm sure she would want you to move forward and live your life and if taking your ring off helps you with that step then you should do it.


I get what you're saying. I think I will actually go through with it.

That's good you are making that step to go through with it. Like I was saying your wife would want you to move on and this is going to be the best thing for your mental health.


I'm going to make my MIL pay for food I ordered after she ruined the dish we were served.


Yes, she keeps saying what to do without explaining why

It is understandable that you are upset that the food got ruined and that she did it on purpose. You don't have to pay for it since it was not your fault.


Hell no. She made me pay for it and I do whatever I want to do. All she had to do was explain why. What she does is wrong.

If someone does ruin something for everyone they should be able to replace it. Maybe next time you shouldn't invite her out if she keeps doing the same thing.


I love to go to an all you can eat buffet


It's good to do things you derive pleasure from, even buffet food -- but in moderation, because they often don't serve the healthiest food there. Many of the portions are high in saturated fats and sugar.


It is good to be able to enjoy a wide variety of foods in moderation. Can you tell me some of your favorite dishes they serve?


I'm always feeling the urge to be terrified about what others think about me.

Why does what stranger think of you bother you?


I'm frightened when strangers start talking to me, I don't know what to say.

It sounds like you have some social anxiety and that is okay. Maybe you want to think about reaching out for some help, so these situations don't make you so stressed out.


Aren't you the one talking to me right now?

I am, but I'm not a professional becomes a seeking help for social anxiety. There are people that specialize in this and would be very beneficial to your mental health.


I envied my neighbor's lawn, so I asked the neighbor to move.

Why did you ask your neighbor to move just because you envied their lawn?


Just because you are jealous you shouldn't make your neighbor move. You should be more respectful and be happy that he succeeds. You could even get some tips from him if you just asked.


My gut told me to do it, so it had to happen. I don't need your lectures.

It was wrong of you to do so, and you have troubled someone into getting another house just because of your envy. I hope you be more friendly and appreciative of your neighbors moving forward, and not tell them to move so that you will have a good relationship with them.


My children will need cousins to play with, so I'm thinking of telling my sister to adopt a baby when I have my own biological kids.

What a unique plan. How will your sister react to you telling her how to start a family?


She will be fine with it because she always does what I tell her to do.

You made your choice to have kids biologically and not allowing your sister the same choice is interfering in her life. Keep your opinions to yourself and support her in her family decisions.


My sister needs to learn to take my opinions. She should know what I want by now.

Do you really think it's fair to expect your sister to only do what you want? You probably shouldn't try guilting her into having kids just because you think it's time. People need to make that choice on their own if they're going to be successful parents.


He just tried to use the vacuum in my toilet, which caused a big disgusting mess

It sounds like that was an accident on his part.  Unless there is a good reason, you shouldn't ditch your friend. If you do so, it's going to affect your relationship permanently, and could even end it entirely.


WTF, I guess its not that big of a deal. He can clean it up by himself.

That seems like a good idea.  If your friend is aware that what he did was wrong, and of how badly it upset you, he should be given the chance to make up for it.  You may want to try to teach him proper ways to clean up around the house, while you're at it.


I gave a shirt as a gift to my friend and now I want to take it back.

That sounds rude. Why do you want to take the shirt back?


Because he doesn't seem to like it that much and I don't want him to have it.

The gift-giver should want the other person to be happy rather than forcing their own choice upon the recipient. If they don't like it, returning a gift does not negate the spirit of the gift.


I think different. I say friend should feel bad because I took shirt back.

It's not okay to take a gift back after you've given it. The person who gets a gift isn't required to love it, and you might be misinterpreting his reaction. Try to figure out what things he likes for future gifts.


A Chinese man walks into a bar- my mistake, he 's Korean.

Can you explain your joke? It sounds like you're making fun of Asian people.


I am only saying all Asians look the same.

Jokes like that are based on a racist stereotype of how all Asian people look alike. Jokes like that dehumanize Asian people and imply they are all the same and not unique. You should read up on the cultural differences between Asian countries so you can be more open minded toward them.


I'm going to change in front of my roommates friend

Why you would change in front of your roommates' friend?


She is really attractive and I want her to notice me.

Wanting your roommates' friend to notice you is understandable, but changing in front of her to get her attention will make her uncomfortable. Go up to her and start a conversation instead.


Ugh. It's going to be hard but I'm going to try.

You are just better off talking with her instead of trying to make her see you. She will probably be much more attracted to you if you talk to her as opposed to just undressing.


Are you ready for a joke? What do goats and middle eastern countries have in common? They're both getting fucked by ISIS!

I'm ready for a joke, but I'm not hearing anything funny.


Probably because you're an ISIS sympathizer.

ISIS is comprised of extremists who twist the words of the Koran. I don't condone them and they all deserve to be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.


But a joke that depends on painting a group with the same broad brush doesn't work. Try finding jokes that don't depend on religious or racial slurs and stereotypes.


My girlfriend dumped me because I logged her out of my Netflix account.

Are you serious? Is that the only reason she had for dumping you?


That's what she told me. She said I was being selfish.

I am sorry that you got dumped because of that. But I think partners are expected to share with each other, otherwise it feels like you don't care about them.


I think if you want to get back together it would be a good idea to talk to her and tell her that you're sorry, and try to be more giving in the future.


I'm proud that this is the first time in years that I passed in all my courses. I am so much better than the other students.

That is good that you passed your courses, but why do you feel you are different than other students who pass?


There is a difference, I'm better than them

You shouldn't look down on other students. Just because you feel like you are better than them, doesn't make them lesser than you are.


They are losers that wish they were in my level.

It is great that you are doing well and proud of yourself, however do not put other people down just to make yourself feel even higher up. It is great for anyone who does well in school, comparing yourself and looking down on others is not a healthy way of thinking about it.


I'm thinking of mowing my lawn, then pouring bleach on my neighbor's lawn.

Why would you do that? What's the point of messing with your neighbor like that?


It doesn't matter if they were nasty to you, that is their private property and you are trespassing and violating it. It's the city's rules, not your neighbor so you can get hugely fined for it. Destroying the property will also make you look bad to the rest of the neighborhood.


But I'm better than my neighbors and don't have to respect them.

Would you like it if your neighbor poured bleach on your lawn? They think they're better than you, so that makes it okay, right?


I'm pissed at my husband for having friends over


I don't want to spend time with people I don't know.

I can understand how it can be uncomfortable being around people you don't know, but it's understandable that he wants to invite friends over to your house every now and again. You should try and get to know them if your husband is going to invite them over.


I can't stand my husband's friends, they are a huge bore.

Once you spend some more time with them you might learn to enjoy them. It might be that you only find them boring, because you don't know them very well.


Did I tell you about how one day he remembered an important assignment he never did?

How did he forget his important assignment?


I guess he was just being absent-minded.

It's normal to forget things from time to time, and it's normal to become somewhat more forgetful as you age. He should try to make amends and see if the assignment can be turned in late.


I'm such a good friend. I'm the one that reminded him.

That's good you refreshed his memory. Your a good friend to help him now that he's have "senior moments."


I'm going to ask my pregnant wife if she ate all the icecream

What happens if she is the one that ate it?


If she said yes, I would cry and feel guilty. If she said no, that's her little secret. I would be like, oh it's no big deal babe, I love you

You should not just assume that she ate it because she is pregnant. It could have been the other people in the house too. Plus, she is eating for two.


She can share the ice cream as my stubbornness won't let her eat all of it herself

But it's not all of it for herself, you see. Don't forget she is eating for two, one of them being your child, so maybe she deserves to eat whatever she wants because she will deliver your baby. Also, just imagine the labor pains she will go through, so just buy two ice creams so you each have your own.


What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain Bolt can finish the race.

Is this a joke about Hitler and the holocaust?


It's just a joke, not all jews should die. It's just a joke. I'm not even a diehard hitler fan.

Jokes about the holocaust aren't funny and only server as a reminder to the Jewish people regarding the atrocities they experienced as well as the soldiers and other people involved in that event.  Learning about the people and history around that event may open your eyes to how they may receive such jokes.


What do you think of me being chewed out for several minutes for not doing what he wanted me to do?

Did you talk about the problem with him afterwards?


We made up later cause it's just that I had much more work than him.

I'm glad you were able to handle it maturely later on.  People are typically more upset after someone chews them out, which is okay.


From today, I'm not doing other stuff anymore.

That's good, because you should be upset when you're being chewed out. I'm glad that things worked out and you're no longer arguing with him.


Can I decide to not negotiate what I thought was a flat rate?


They lie all the time, flat rate is never flat rate.

You should always read the find print of a deal. You can get cheated out of a lot if you are careless when singing a contract.


Yeah, you are. As I said, reading the fine print is important and you could have prevented this before you signed anything so it is kind of your fault at this point.


What if I'm worried when my friend does something that'll hurt her in the long run?

That's bad. What would she do to hurt herself?


It is good to care for your friend. You should stay out of their private life and only give advice if asked.


No, you can be concerned as her friend but you cannot force her to do what you want. She still needs to be able to make decisions on what she wants to do without you telling her what she should do.


It is fitting that we are now seeing these strong women speaking out and trying to fix problems, when they are the ones creating their mess.

Is this how you really feel about women?


Yes, it's just facts you know. Men are stronger than women, period. They can fix anything, solve anything. Women are just emotional and should just stay at home.

It is wrong to think of women as being weak and overly emotional. I feel like that's a strong sexist sentiment that you do not want to be spewing up and I suggest that you continue thinking about women as being strong and independent, so that you will be inspired to see that they are more than what you think of them.


I don't want my friend to come over for new year's eve dinner

Why don't you want your friend to come over?


You should be more understanding of your friend and their own personality. You are not being accepting of others. You should be more grateful for your friends and realize that everyone has a different way of expressing themselves.


What? It's just a friend coming over. If I don't want to see them, I won't.

Then you should tell them how you feel. Ghosting them will make them wonder why they aren't being invited and they will resent you.


I'm going to end a friendship because they are still friends with my ex

Do you still have feeling's for your ex?


Not really, I just want to hurt them because of their friendship with my ex.

It is normal to share social circles with an ex. You should not control what your friends do, they might dump you too.


If my friends already have their own life, Why do they have to include my ex?

I am sure it is frustrating, but you don't get control who your friends have in their life. If you feel that strongly, you can always be the one to find new friends.


Deforestation os a good thing. Them niggers can find a real home. or maybe not.

I think you might want to think more before you say something.


I would still be grateful if you could point out on how I was wrong in my choice of words to communicate myself.

Pretending that all Black people live in the forest is  a willful stereotype  that can easily be disproven. You should consider why you would rather make harmful jokes that rely on falsehoods than speak truthfully about a group of people.


how do you make a muslim 's phone explode ? set it to airplane mode .


Your joke disrespects Islam and makes light of terrorism victims. Keep these kind of jokes to yourself.


I was sick of being on this cruise ship, so I faked a heart attack so they would turn the ship around.

Did they believe it was a real heart attack?


Yup! Even the first responders believed me.

What you did is selfish because you ruined a cruise for everyone else on the trip. You also wasted the time of many people, including the first responders who should be saving people who actually need help. You shouldn't fake medical emergencies like this.


Well I couldn't stand being on the cruise anymore!

That's not a reason to fake a medical emergency. You should have simply been patient and waited for the cruise to end. It's not right to cause everyone else so much grief by faking a heart attack.


i think I'm going to win the competition because I get inside information on my competitors.

That is unethical and unfair. Why would you do these things?


I'm tired of being fair and want to win for once.

It would be unfair for you to win a competition because you got inside information on someone else. You could be fired from your job or end up in jail for doing it. You should do things fairly and see how it works out.


Whatever, the managers and judges will love my brain and skills, they will be very thankful in the end.

Using inside information to win a competition is the same as cheating. This is wrong and gives you an unfair advantage. This means you are not capable of winning on your own.


I saw a pretty girl and I'm going to come over and grab her breasts without asking

What would the girl say if she knew you were thinking about touching her breasts?


You shouldn't be grabbing people without their permission. That is considered a sexual assault. Do you want to be labeled as a sexual predator?


I have the right to grab her boobs. I'm just going to grab her boobs because I want to show her that I care about her.

But you said she would be disgusted! Why don't you try showing how much you care by giving her a gift instead of violating her like that? Your relationship would blossom if you did it the right way.


I'm going to deliberately fail a medical test to get put on a less harsh treatment

I don't think that sounds okay. Why fake something like that?


I want to piss the doctors off and force them to change my treatment.

This is something to do with your health, man. Don't play dangerous games like that. The doctor knows what's best for you.


But I just wanted to show that the test was stupid.

You should communicate with your doctor about your treatment if it's not working. Messing with your results can be harmful to your health in ways you can't anticipate.


I'm going to remind my daughter it was her choice to have an abortion

Are you mad at her for having an abortion?


No, I love her. If she was going to do something like that, I would be proud of her

Abortion is a hard decision to make and it is okay to support your daughter's decision. It will help her to know that she has your support.


I think she would do better if she had a kid.

Whether you agree or disagree with her decision, it's important that your daughter knows that you love and support her no matter what. When she's ready to have a child, she will and she'll learn what it's like to be a parent on her own terms.


She feels like her parents don't understand her well.

Even though she thinks her parents are tough on her, they are just setting rules for their house. They want her to be safe.


She is thinking about sneaking out anyway

Tell your friend that this is the wrong way to go. Your friend may not agree with the rules of her parents, but it is important to obey them. If she obeys and shows she is trustworthy, then the rules could relax in the future.


I'm going to insult my sister after she called me stupid


I've been struggling with the project my sister has been helping me on, and she makes me feel dumb.

I get that someone insulting you can be frustrating but insulting them back would create an argument. It's better to turn the other cheek so you look like the more mature sibling.


You don't know how things work in my family. If I let her get away with calling me stupid she will always walk all over me.

Even if that were true, she would eventually get bored of it. Or you could tell your parents that she won't stop.


Can't deal with her. I'm just gonna lie and say I'm not available to cover her shift.

Why are you going to ignore her shift-request and then lie to her?


It's just that I hate having to deal with her .

I understand that you have disdain for your coworker.  However, lying to people is wrong and usually only leads to more problems further down the road.


I don't need to deal with her , she's annoying me and I don't trust her .

If you have an issue with her, confront her. Don't lie to screw her over.


I'm thinking of cutting my family out of my life

Why do you want to cut them out of your life?


Several reasons. I'm very unhappy with how they treat me.

If you cut your family out of your life then you will not have support. It's better to talk to them about your issues so you can solve it with them.


I don't think that's very likely, they never support me as it is. So it won't matter.

If they never support you then you won't be missing anything. Toxic family members need to be left alone and you can be happy without them. Find people who you can bond with normally and depend time with them.


I'm going to use my gifted socks to help my dog

How would you help your dog with gifted socks?


I put them on his feet when it gets too cold outside.

Although that may not have been the original intent of the gift, its good to put the item to use for someone that needs them.  Maybe your dog can use shoes too?


Shoes seem like a good idea, but they're too bulky and my dog tries to kick them off.

I was just suggesting it as a backup. Socks are probably good enough to keep your dog warm during the cold. That way you can be sure they don't catch a cold.


After some thought, I think that my twenties were quite strange.

Can you explain to me what you think your twenties were strange?


Because there were moments where I don't even remember what happened

It's okay to feel weird about your past. We all have strange parts in our lives.


Some parts of my past seem really bad and I'm trying to forget them all.

What you're feeling isn't out of the ordinary and it's okay to feel weird or uncomfortable about things in your past. It might be impossible to forget, but you should try to focus your attention on the present and the future.


When we have children how about I ask my husband to quit his job and stay home with them?

But why would you want him to quit his job?


It is ok to want one person to be a stay at home parent. You should talk with him about it and find out if it can work for you.


It makes more sense for me to work and give him time to spend with the kids.

I can understand how you don't want your spouse to work, but don't tell him what to do. This is a discussion you both will need to have. Weigh the pros and cons of it all before making a decision.


I'm thinking of cutting my friend out of my life when he asked if he could date the girl I like.

He knows I still have feelings for her and aim to date her myself.


I told him the girl is my girlfriend already. I think he is lying about me having a chance.

I can understand that you are a bit upset about your friend liking the girl that you like, but blowing things out of proportion and cutting him off is not the way to handle it. Work things out with your friend as it seems to be a big misunderstanding.


It isn't fair that he gets her just because he asked.

It is fair if he asked her out and she agreed. If you sat back and did nothing up to that point, then that's on you, not your friend. Don't cut him off because of your own indecisiveness.


I yelled when my sister walked out of her room with only a bra and shorts on!

What did you say when you saw your sister leave her room like this?


She asked me if she could leave the room and I yelled at her not to do it.

Its good that you reprimanded your sister for walking around like that. She should try to conceal her body more when walking around her siblings.


I hate my sister for doing something like that to me.

I'm sorry you had to see something that inappropriate, she needs to learn some privacy and boundaries. It's good you made a reaction, because siblings aren't supposed to see each other like that.


I'm going to raise my voice at one of my roommates


Screaming at your roommate will get you no where. He will just get angry and yell back.


Raising your voice at people is not a nice thing to do. While you may be upset, odds are your roommate is not going to even really hear what you have to say if you say it in a mean tone. The best way to get your point across is to calmly tell your roommate what is on your mind.


What if I think it's funny to scare little kids who play near my car by pressing the panic button on my key fob?

That sounds mean. Why would you get any pleasure out of scaring little kids?


I'm bored most of the time so I do stupid things to entertain myself

Scaring children to startle them for fun only fun for you, but not fun for them, and it can have long term physiological effects. If you're nervous about where you park your car, find a safer place for it away from playing children.


I don't want to. I'm going to press the alarm again and again.

If you keep doing things to scare the kids, the parents might intervene at some point. You don't want to face against a parent who is angry just for a laugh.


What is the most common name for a black dude? King Kong

I'm not sure what you mean by this comment?


I'm implying blacks are ugly and like monkeys.

Why would you say anything like this for any reason? It is kind of disgusting and a lot of people would consider it racist, because black people are no more like monkeys than any other race.


Can you believe I lost my English text book?

Oh really now? Why do you think that it got lost?


I lost it in attempt to shut a door quickly

You should try to retrace your steps. It should be easy to find since you know the general place that it got lost at.


I used it to hit a dog. It was a mean dog.

Everyone misplaces things now and then. it happens. You have to think clearly and wonder where you went with it and what you did, then you can remember it more clearly.


I'm thinking of sabotaging my own life because I'm too scared to end it.

So you want to sabotage your life because you don't like where you are currently in life?


You shouldn't make plans that culminate with you ending your life. You'll just end up making a bigger hole that'll be even harder to crawl out of. You should seek professional help instead so you can fix your life, not make it worse.


The US didn't make a big deal about it when two airplanes crashed into the Twin Towers and 3000 people died. If a suicide is going to happen, than it's better to happen big.

Your thoughts about commiting suicide tells me that you are feeling alone in someway. It would be beneficial to speak to a counselor or join a support group. This will help you to have a better outlook on life.


I'm thinking of getting pushy about my SO's fashion choices

Does she dress in a way that you do not approve of?


Yes. She has too much Y-fronts in her wash basket. And I don't like 80's anthems

I think that how she dresses is her choice. You should not get involved in her personal choices, like the way that she dresses.


I'm jealous of her overconfident attitude. And I don't like her music taste either. I hate being around people like that.

Apparently you don't like many things about your SO. You should let her make choices for herself like choice of clothes or music. It's wrong to be such a control freak.


What about your housemate's son don't you like?


He stinks, most of us in my apartment feel the same way.

You should keep this to yourself. If your housemate knew about your grudge they would resent you for it.


we harasses him every day. I just can't hold myself back anymore.

Your roommate will catch on and confront you if you don't stop. Picking on a kid is pretty pathetic. Leave him alone and find someone else to pick on that is able to defend themselves properly.


I'm going to tell my girlfriend that calling me feels really boring

That seems like it might be hurtful. Do you wish she talked to other people besides you?


She needs to be more social, she doesn't need a speak to me all the time.

Like you, I sometimes feel very exhausted when I am speaking with people for long periods of time. However instead of you insulting your girlfriend and telling her that she is boring, I suggest that you introduce some of your friends to her, probably other friends that are girls that you have, so that you would not feel bored talking to her for long hours, and so that she also would feel happy having more friends to talk to.


I'm going to call her boring to her face, because she really is.

It sounds like you just want to hurt your girlfriend's feelings. You shouldn't be rude to her and should learn to communicate your feelings.


I paid a graduate student to write my essays for me throughout the semester.

Don't you boast about your intelligence? What happened?


I'm very smart but I was too busy with work to write my graduate papers

If you were smart, wouldn't you realize it isn't wise to cheat through your academics? Isn't the whole point to learn something?


When the time comes to call upon this knowledge, it won't be there because you chose to cheat instead.


What do you do when you See a black guy with half a head? You stop laughing, reload your shotgun and keep shooting

What kind of joke is that? Do you really hate black people?


It's a joke because black people are criminals.

Not all black people are criminals. That sort of thing is born from racial stereotypes. Don't you think your joke could really hurt the feelings of a black person?


what do jews call university course 'Family Health Studies'? Coarse sand

I'm not sure I understand this comment. Are you making fun of Jewish people?


Ha ha it's just a joke. it wasn't meant to be disrespectful I don't think. You're taking this way too seriously, dude.

Hurtful comments about the holocaust are wrong come from a lack of understanding about it. It's important for you to consider how you might feel if someone made hurt comments about a tragedy that yourself or one of your loved ones experienced.


I think when I drive I fantasize my car can hover over the other cars on the road.


You should pay attention when you drive. You could cause an accident if you are not careful and hurt someone.


I don't know why, but I only do this when I'm driving.

Well, if you pay attention to the road, you can be sure you will get there without causing an accident. You can always pretend like this when you're not driving the car.


I'm not a racist. That's a crime and crime is for black people

You're not racist, but the statement you made somehow is?


I'm not saying that I'm a racist, but if I were one, then yes it's okay to have your own opinion.

You're literally saying crime is only for black people, which is a racist statement. Completely unwarranted and a hate filled statement.


I'm worried my friend would die of starvation.

Oh no, that sounds serious. Why do you think that they are starving?


My friend has been saying they don't have money for food when they ate a cheeseburger before meeting with me.

It sounds like you are a little worried about this friend. If you are, you could always get them some groceries so that you know they will be eating for a little bit.


I don't want to help them out. I'm going to film them starving to death and see if people help them or not.

Usually people are willing to help out when they see someone is going through a hard time.


What do black people and donuts have in common? Neither last more than 60 seconds when a cop gets a hold of one.

Wow, that's a pretty serious joke. Do you really think that's funny?


I don't know; I only know if a cop touches you and looks like you, you should be expecting a harsh justice, especially if you are black and all.

It is not in good taste to joke about black people being killed by the police. In addition to that, making fun of the police and claiming that they are overweight is pretty messed up as well. Hopefully you understand what I am saying here and are able to reflect for future conversations.


I can't apologise for what I said. I bet most black men don't care about dying anyways.

Most people care about dying, no matter their color. Someone being black is just one part of their identity, and it is terrible that you are trying to make it their entire story. Plus, making light of black people dying to police would probably make a lot of people annoyed with you.


I pushed the child that was in front of me.

That's mean! Why did you have to push a child?


I wanted to get to the front of the line faster.

You need to wait in line like everyone else is doing. You could've hurt the child you pushed.


I wasn't looking where I was pushing and neither did I care.

You are much bigger and stronger and need to not be a bully to children like you have been. It's not funny and it's not nice to act that way.


I like my coffee as I like my paddle. Strong enough to beat the shit out of the woman I purchased on eBay for $8.

I think that's a disgusting comparison to make. Are you trying to make a joke about beating women up?


It's a joke you idiot. But yes, I do like my coffee strong enough to beat up a woman if she misbehaves.

It's inappropriate to joke about beating women since it trivializes domestic abuse and the harm that women suffer from that abuse. When abuse is trivialized, there is less of a chance that victims of abuse will step forward and name their abuser. Instead of joking about such abuse, why not be an ally instead and fight for the safety of women since abuse is something that can happen to all women?


I think my mom shouldn't get any of my dad's inheritance


She won't find true happiness if she keeps fooling around with her boyfriend

You may very well be right, but where else the money go? She's your mom and you would be next in line when she dies.


I don't know but see needs to stop this.

You may disapprove of your mother's choices, but don't go wishing bad things to happen to her.


I want to laugh at the disabled kids in the yard.

That's horrible. How about you help them instead?


There is a huge line between laughing at them and helping them.

You don't sound very nice. It's not okay to make fun of disabled people. Other people will think less of you if you do.


It's not easy to talk to you people who don't understand.

I understand that disabled people have to go through so much struggle and it is not nice to make fun of them. People will think you are a bully for making fun of them.


So apparently voting for someone based on the gender is the pinnacle of feminism.

Do you think that women are qualified to work in politics?


It doesn't mean a woman can't do a good job in politics. I just want to test whether a woman is ready for politics or not.

I don't think that feminists vote for a female politician simply because the politician is a woman. That type of thinking is offensive toward women and makes it difficult for the feminist movement to be taken seriously. Feminists are just trying to have women be seen as equals in society so they can be taken seriously.


My roommate is driving me insane. I want to tell him but don't want to talk to him about stuff like that.

Is it some embarrassing issue? Why don't you want to talk to your roommate?


He talks in his sleep and I don't like to listen to that.

It can be hard to talk to your roommate about things that bother you but if you don't it will fester inside of you and cause problems later on. It is better to talk with them and find a way to solve the problem.


It would freaking kill him if I embarrassed him like that.

Talking to him about it is the only real way to solve the issue, besides moving out. It sounds like you care about this roommate, so just talk to him about it. I'm sure he won't mind.


Do you have any advice for me? I feel so depressed, anxious and I'm so afraid that I won't make it.

Wow, that sounds rough. Why do you think you won't make it?


I'm so worried and nervous all the time, it really gets overwhelming at times.

I think you should talk to your friend and family and tell them how you feel. There are people that can help you through this so you don't need to feel so alone. Reach out to them for help.


They probably won't have any time for me.

I'm sure they'll help you, you just have to ask. There are many therapists and life coaches you can contact that would be willing to help you. Make sure you get the help you need.


Should I lie about my college education to my loved ones.?

That doesn't seem right. What reason do you have to lie to loved ones?


I don't want to be perceived as too snobbish to them.

I understand you want your loved ones to perceive you in a certain way, but it's wrong to lie to people.  Also, your loved ones expect to be able to trust you, and that means being honest with them.


Your loved ones care. They will feel so betrayed that they might not trust you again.


I'm going to get rid of a female friend after she told me she had a boyfriend while we netflix and chilled

Did she do anything else that may cause you to want to get rid of her?


She posted some images that made me uncomfortable

I'm sorry she made you very uncomfortable, but she is allowed to have friends along with a boyfriend. You shouldn't alienate her just because of that fact, because having friends is healthy other than only having your boyfriend which isn't healthy.


I just feel insulted because she tried to hide it from me. And also she didn't do it because she was interested in me, its just because she wanted me to get jealous.

It really sounds like this female friend was just playing with your emotions. You deserve better than people like this. It is a great decision for you to move on from having a relationship with someone like this.


I pretended to be transgender so I could spy on girls in the locker room.


That is a place people are supposed to feel safe changing and you are making it unsafe for them. You should not invade people's privacy or spy on them like that.


I'm not a pervert. I was just testing social norms.

Whether you think you're a pervert or not, if people know that you intentionally spied on people in a dressing room, they will view you as one. Invading someone's privacy is against social norms, so you shouldn't do it.


The children came to my house during Halloween night, and I poured dirt in their plastic bucket

Why would you pour dirt in kid's candy buckets, that's very mean.


I'm going for a prank against the neighborhood kids who always disturbs other people's peace.

The kids just want some candy and want to have fun. You will wreck their other candy by doing that.


The kids need to be punished. I hate how they are going around the neighborhood and destroying people's property.

This sounds like an issue for authorities and their parents. This is just going to make them made and do it more. You are handling this wrong.


I'm having the urge to yell at our wedding photographer.

Why would you want to yell at the photographer?


You may feel justified in your anger because the photographer is being rude to you at your wedding, but screaming at them only amplifies the animosity between you. Back off the situation and wait to speak with her when you can speak calmly about her behaviour.


I don't like her attitude. I want to be the one who gets the last word. If my wife was there she would punch her in the face.

Causing issues at your wedding with the photographer is going to end up poorly for the experience. Simply state the issues you have with the photographer to them and hopefully you can work it out from there.


Why do you want to leave an average review?


I don't want to write a review for this game, it's average.

Not all games can be great and not all games are bad, and for that reason it's reasonable to leave an average review. It's good to be honest about how you felt about a game. If you're dishonest about your review, then it could mislead potential buyers.


If you think the game is average or awful or anything in between, then you should feel fine to leave a review stating your experience. No one can take your experience away from you and if you're just writing about how you feel then that is completely valid.


There are black magazines, black award shows, black college scholarships and black television channels. Since all of these things would be unacceptable for whites, it seems that the more privileged race is black.

What do you mean by blacks are more privileged?


I mean I can't ever be black and to tell the truth I hate them. Their skin is just ugly

There are many programs out there that help different races. Just because black people get some programs of their own does not mean they have particular advantages.


What's the difference between an Arab and a planted bomb? One you have a chance to defuse and the other is a psychotic extremist with a thirst for the blood of infidels

Don't you think its offensive to say all Arabs are violent?


The idea that all Arab people are terrorists is racist and not true. Most Arab people are lovely, and feel the same way about terrorists as you. I think if you talked to more Arab people you would see that, and I bet your views would change.


What you're calcimining is misinformation and it's harmful to spread. A small minority of arabs are extremists who blow others up. The majority are regular people trying to live normal lives and avoid violence.


I want to get my girlfriend gifts that she won't like, because they will seem cheap to her

Oh good lord that sounds petty. Why would you want to do that?


I needed to balance the score. She always goes all out on me

If you think that your girlfriend is being too extravagant when giving gifts, then you should let her know how you feel. Trying to get revenge on her by buying cheap gifts is petty, and it will only make her feel unappreciated. Giving gifts is an expression of your love, and you could really hurt her feelings by deliberately neglecting her in this way.


Let's just say she's dressed to kill and do things that drives me mad.

It sounds like she's trying to impress you. You should appreciate that she dresses nicely for you, and do something nice for her in return. Buying her cheap gifts is no way to show her any kind of appreciation.


You know what, I'm going to tell people my husband got me very memorable flowers for valentine's

Doesn't your husband get you flowers for valentine's every year?


Yes, but on the 14th he feels like getting me something more memorable.

That was really nice and I think it's good to share. People are going to like to hear things like this.


Well, no matter what you care or not, it is good that you are proud of what your husband has done for you, even if you do not really care what people think. I suggest you do it because you care for your husband and you're proud of him, instead of making other women jealous with your relationship with your husband.


I don't care about my friend who got sexually harassed after she made everyone think I was a liar

Do you even want to hear what happened to her?


No I cannot trust what she says about this.

I don't know why she called you a liar but you should be supportive of your friends. She's been through something traumatic and might need you.


Whatever, she probably called me a liar because of the whole slut thing.

People rarely lie about being sexually harassed. You should try and support her even though she has hurt you. Being there for your friends might help her become a better friend.


What do you call a kid with no friends? A Sand Hook survivor.

Oh, are you serious with this. You mean to say that the people that died in the Sandy Hook school shooting aren't worth the respect not to make jokes about it?


You're telling me that I can't make jokes about kids being killed at school from school shootings?

This is totally unfair how you have made a joke about kids being killed. What if you were one of the kid's parents or relatives, then what?  I think that this whole scenerio with these words being so unacceptable should be removed, before you loose your job over it.


Have you done this before and have people noticed it?


No, I'm a loner and I don't feel comfortable talking about it.

It's ok if you don't want to tip. It's totally up to you. You don't need to feel embarrassed about your opinions about tips.


No, you don't understand. I don't want to tip and it will be wrong to do so.

While it is your very right to not give a tip, people who work in the service industry sometimes are underpaid and relies on your tip. It's obviously not the ideal scenario and people should be paid a good wage, but unless that changes, I strongly recommend you give out tips.


I want my friend to get his own gym membership

What's wrong with yours? Why does he need his own?


If you think your friend is taking advantage of you, you should tell him honestly to get his own gym membership. I can understand your frustration.


We have to do something about this, I'm seeing red.

Yeah, we should because you aren't obligated to pay for things he uses. How about confronting him and telling him that he needs to be a little more independent? You two can still go to the gym together like this.


I think it is a good idea to not give my cousin water as she is about to pass out.

What is your reason for wanting to do this to her?


If she needs water you need to give it to her. That's not right to stop her from drinking water.


Don't worry, I'm not going to do it. That's too scary.

Well that is a relief. If she is about to pass out then you should get her water as fast as you can. It would be terrible if something bad were to happen to your sister since you neglected to give her water.


I was able to complete my homework and use the internet

It's good that you were able to get your homework done. How does that make your mother feel?


I don't know but I don't have a good opinion about her and I will not speak to her.

Well, it's good on you then for taking initiative because procrastinating is quite bad. However, your mom is someone to not ignore, you need to make up with her becau


She just really gets on my nerves a lot. I love her, but I just can't stand her sometimes.

A lot of people have issues with their parents, so that's understandable. It would be helpful to communicate with your mother and figure out where the issues are in your relationship with her. Figuring this out will help your relationship with her.


I'm not going to let my bridesmaid hold/show off her pregnant belly in my wedding photos

Why wouldn't you allow her to show off her pregnancy?


I don't want other people to take the spotlight in my wedding photos.

Well, you shouldn't blame her for being proud of her child-to-be, and I hope that you are not going to exclude her from the photos.


I love her but I'm not okay with her stealing my spotlight.

I can assure you that, as the bride, you are going to get everyone's attention throughout the ceremony.  Asking your friend to hide their belly since they are pregnant may be doing a little too much.  If it means that much to you, perhaps you could just ask everyone to hold their hands a certain way, so that one person doesn't feel singled out.


I feel hella bad but it's exciting to cheat on my husband with his son

Does your husband know you're sleeping with his son?


We have actually talked about it. He doesn't approve but he is willing to see how things turn out.

It's OK to explore your sexuality where people won't get hurt, but what you're describing is a powder keg that, when it blows up, will devastate several innocent (and not so innocent) people. Frankly, your behavior is breathtakingly selfish. You need to seek far better guidance than your husband is giving you.


You just said he doesn't approve. He isn't okaying it; he's tolerating it because he loves you. You're hurting him emotionally and damaging his son psychologically. You should really stop.


I think they clipped his nails too close and it was unpleasant

Why so? It seemed to be a simple accident.


It didn't seem like an accident to me, can you go up and ask them for me. I'm too busy playing games.

If you really think there is a problem should you not try to take care of your pet? I think pets are more important than video games.


It is good to comfort an injured pet in a stressful situation. You can always play a video game later it is wrong to neglect your pets.


I'm hard of hearing and sometimes pretend I don't hear people when I actually do.

What is your reason for pretending to not hear people?


I'm not going to listen to what I don't want to listen to.

You should not lie to others about hearing them. Ignoring people is wrong and will likely cause people to get frustrated with you.


I don't need to listen to everyone and everything. I don't care about what you think.

If you do not hear someone then you should just tell them that you did not hear them. Lying about this is only going to make you seem immature.


What band do walking vegetables listen to? Syndrome of a down.

I don't know what that even means. I sounds like a failed joke about Down Syndrome that makes no sense.


Well, I know someone with Down syndrome, and I don't exactly love him, so it's not like I don't know what I'm talking about.

You don't have to get along with everyone in the world, but I think it's important to try to be open minded and courteous to others. Making fun of someone who has Down syndrome by telling jokes about it is offensive and will make them resent you. I think you should try to be more open minded to others.


I don't care about being open minded. That person doesn't like it when I'm around him and I feel the same way. Actually, I don't associate with retards.

If you don't like someone, don't hang out with them. But you should reflect on your callous attitude toward those you perceive to be inferior to you.


How did you betray everyone you care about?


Well, most of them were hypocritical anyway. They came to me asking for friendship, but they never listened to my opinion and they offended me a lot. Most of them didn't support me.

Rebuilding trust in your friendships can be difficult after it has been broken or compromised. Trust can be rebuilt if both people are willing to put in the time and work.


Having your trust broken can feel terrible. You end up still caring for them, but unable to be with them out of fear of being hurt. Your friends didn't support you, and you "betrayed" them in some form in return; perhaps, you should reach out and tell them how you feel so that your relationship can improve.


When I drop food on the floor I am going to pick it up and serve it.

What makes you think it's okay to serve food that was on the floor?


I don't, but I'm greedy for money so I'll do it anyway

It's never a good idea to serve food that has been dropped, as bacteria can attach to food as soon as it hits the floor. You should fix them a new plate of food instead and try to be more careful next time.


I'm hoping that the customer will be more understanding and only then I'll inform them about the food.

Even if the customer is understanding you can make them very sick and then you'll get into trouble. Why not just serve fresh food? It'll cost less than making someone sick.


I want to have sex with my sister-in-law.

Tell me the details. Why do you want that?


I have a small penis and I think she will like it.

If you are married you should be faithful to your wife. It is gross to sleep with her sister. You should get professional help for your sexual proclivities.


Bitch, I want her bad. I bet she'll like it.

Whether or not she enjoys the sex is not the issue, it's what that would do to the rest of your lives. If you sleep with your sister-in-law, you'll both be abusing the trust of your spouse, doing permanent damage to your familial relationships.


I really would rather not be all by myself when my boyfriend goes to visit family members.

Why do you think it will be awful to be alone?


I just have a feeling that it is going to be super boring.

Missing your partner is natural. You should wait for them by doing something nice before they get back.


I'm going to cry like there's no tomorrow

It is cute that you are going to miss your partner and feel lonely. Maybe try to set up a get together with some of your friends so you can take your mind off of missing him.


I think I'm falling in love with one of my best friend's exes.


She's hot and she has something new to offer.

What does she have to offer that's new? Either way, you need to think about how your friend might feel in this situation and talk to them about it.


I understand that you're falling for her, but dating the ex of one of your friends could be a tricky situation. You should talk to your friend about what they think, because they might not be comfortable with it. You may end up hurting the friendship if you don't communicate.


Why are black people so good at basketball? Because all they have to do is shoot, steal and run.

What are you trying to say about black people?


Black folks are horrible people and all they do is sell drugs, rob and use other people for their greed.

I think it's awful to imply that all black people do crime. That's just from a racist stereotype. That vast majority of them are good, hard-working people.


I don't want to tip the waitresses here even though they're underpaid.

Is it fair to not tip workers who are already underpaid?


I would give my money to them, but they need to work harder if they want my tips.

You should always tip your waiter appropriately for the services they provide. If you don't leave a tip they'll be upset and next time you come in, won't give you good service. If you hate tipping people, get take out food isntead.


Fuck that. I'm not going to tip someone for average service. They need to go above and beyond to earn it!

I understand that it can be frustrating to have to tip, but servers depend on tips to be able to survive. They are barely paid by their employer and need your tip to make up for their low pay. You should do your part and at least tip them something for the time they spent waiting on you.


What is your reason for hating your partner's family?


They always try to butt into our relationship and are overall just annoying to be around.

Those types of people can be very annoying so I understand where you're coming from. It should be expected that you wont like all of your in-laws but at least try to remain respectful towards them.


It makes sense that you find it annoying for your in-laws to want to invade in your privacy. Simply do your best to love them and treat them well despite the way you feel they are treating you. If it continues then maybe sitting down and talking to your partner about it would be a good choice.


I'm tired of helping him, since I've helped him so many times.

It can be tiring to help others, but it's not good to not help others who need it. If you help him, he will be happy and he will help you when you need it.


Nah, I can do everything myself and rely on myself.

Although you may feel like you can rely on yourself for everything, it's still good to help others who need it. Think about how much better your dad would feel if you helped him. Don't you want to make your dad happy?


There's a black kid and a white kid, which one is more likely to start shooting up a school? The white one, you'll never catch a black kid at school.

Why would you say something like that about black people?


Because it's true. Black people go to jail and don't go to school.

There are many black people that do go to school. The things you are saying are false and racist. We need to stay away from statements like this.


If a black kid goes to a school, he or she is probably at a basketball school. If a white kid goes to a school, he or she is most likely to be there for academics.

You would not like to be stereotyped by your race so you should not stereotype others. There are many black people who are well educated and many white people who are in jail.


disagree, for a generation that grew up with the whisper song, get low, Buble butt  bitches aint shit. We've come along way

This comment sounds offensive. What are you implying about women?


Comments that demean women are wrong and come from a misogynistic mindset. It's important for you to consider how you would feel if some said hurtful and demeaning things to a woman that you care about.


I used to believe that sam raimi's spider-man movies really happened

Can you explain to me why you believed that they were real in the first place?


They were very realistic! I thought it was real until I read other people's writings on it.

Well, it's good to figure out what is fantasy vs reality as you get older. If you don't you may end up falling for scams.


I'm still wowed by the realism of that movie trilogy.

Yeah, it was a pretty good trilogy and did seem very realistic. It's good that as an adult you now know the difference between realism and fantasy.


My partner is sick with the flu so I'm going to shoot him with a gun.

That sounds like a really bad joke. Why would you shoot your partner when he is sick with the flu?


He's really whiny and it's getting annoying.

It's hard to be sick, and you shouldn't threaten him. Get him some medical care instead.


I don't give a fuck. I'm tired of his shit.

Part of being in a relationship is caring for your partner when they are sick. People can be whiny, it's true, but it won't last forever. I'm sure you appreciate it when someone cares for you when you feel sick and a little whiny.


I'm thinking of person1ing what my money will get me at an open bar


But I want to celebrate for an special occasion.

If you had something really good happen that is a good reason to celebrate. You need to take time and do something for yourself.


Yeah I need to do something special. If I keep person1ing it, I'll go crazy.

That sounds like a good plan. Have a great time!


What's the difference between a zit and a priest? A zit comes on someone's face after they've become a teen.

I don't understand. What does that have to do with being a priest?


It's just a joke, people make that joke all the time.

You shouldn't joke about priests having sex with children. Sexual abuse of children is a real problem that traumatizes children. If you knew a victim of abuse you probably wouldn't tell them this joke.


Tinder is my sort of thing. I can judge more people on there.

It's nice that you are using a new technology like that. Just make sure you are a good person on there.


Tinder is a way of life, and to judge others with it.

You shouldn't do that. You should use technology how it was intended, in this case to find dates, not to judge people.


Do you think it's strange that sometimes I make random Star Wars noises?

Why do you make random Star Wars noises?


I loved the Star Wars movies so much that I can't help but make the noises.

Generally it's fine to make noises like that. However if you're around other people or in an environment that should be quiet then you should try to contain the noises. You have to be aware of your surroundings.


It's hard to control the noises, they just happen.

You should try to make an effort to control the noises, that way they won't happen so randomly. You're more than likely to be around others and these noises could be annoying to them. It would be kind of you not to annoy others.


I think my boyfriend was semi-emotionally abusive in my opinion.


I love him and hope he will change one day.

Abusive people do not change unless forced to, and you staying with your abusive boyfriend will not end the cycle of violence. Get away from him as soon as you can.


No you can't change him. You should leave your abusive situation there is a trail of dead women who have been in your position thinking they could change "him".


I commented that a girl was too big to sit in the backseat with two taller people


No, but she's such a narcissist she wanted to sit there anyway.

You shouldn't get into arguments over petty things. This'll just make the car ride even more difficult for no reason. Try being more accommodating in the future to avoid arguments such as these.


You're just being a hypocrite since you've had similar arguments with people.

People need to be willing to change position so everyone fits in the car. You all have to get some place and if you are friends you should keep the peace and try to make things work.


I'm a girl and I just did something I will regret forever


I've slept with my boyfriend's brother by accident, I'm going to hell for this.

I'm not sure how you "accidentally" sleep with your boyfriend's brother, but it's done. The best thing to do is learn from it and don't do it again. In time, the guilt will fade.


The remorse that you feel is normal, but killing yourself is not the right way to solve the problem. You need to tell the truth about what happened and apologize.


I just dipped a cheez-it in pepsi and I feel no remorse


It is good that your learned your lesson. Hopefully you won't do the same thing in the future.


Why would you do it again if you know it tastes bad? You should instead eat things that you know taste good, or try other foods that intrigue you. Intentionally eating gross foods will not make you feel good.


I expect more depth from people. Is it wrong for me to do this?

What makes you expect more depth from people? Are you kidding or serious?


The lack of depth makes me uncomfortable, especially for people who are not aware that they are shallow.

High expectations are often a form of trying to control both outcomes and other people. When unfulfilled expectations involve the failure of other people to behave the way you expect them to, the disappointment also involves resentment.


I'm different and I know that I'm always right. There's nothing wrong with me.

The less you expect from others the less you will be disappointed. People will always do what they want regardless of what you expect or want. You need to chill out and just accept people for who they are in order to be happy.


I couldn't help but drive over it making my car dirty again.

Was this the first time you had to drive over that?


Yes it is the first time, I hate things like that

I know it is annoying to have a car get dirty but sometimes it is inevitable. You have to realize that it is going to happen one way or another. You don't have to get upset every time it happens. You can always clean it whenever you want.


I just don't know how to deal with it. I might cry if I see it again and I just don't know what to do.

It is quite alright to worry about the cleanliness of your car and when it gets dirty to be frustrated. I know you want to avoid getting your car dirty but sometimes it just happens. I think you can take steps in how to deal with it.


One girl told me that I had no right to talk to people the way I did.

Do you think there's anything to what she said?


I was so surprised by this statement. It felt like hearing those words makes me more concious

You should think about the things you are about to say. People take it the wrong way even if you did not mean it that way.


I don't feel bad, I still feel I have every right to say whatever I want.

I see, but didn't her words resonate with you? It's wonderful that she was able to speak up to you and try to help you change for the better. Why not take that to heart and start being nicer?


I'm going to refuse to eat food my sister cooked

Why don't you want to eat your sister's food?


My sister was wearing a bandaid while cooking

You are being ridiculous by refusing to eat food your sister cooked just because she was wearing a bandaid. Your sister is your family and you will hurt her feelings by refusing to eat her food. Be more sensitive to other's feelings.


I could care less about her feelings, I just want to make a point that any food from me is poisoned because of the bandaid.

Your food would definitely not be poisoned because of a bandaid. I think you should just push that out of your mind and eat the food.


I found out many foods I thought I hated were due to coincidental bad experiences.

I am not sure I understand what you mean. What is an example?


I used to think I hate peas and onions and kikurage mushrooms. Turns out is because my mom served them in a boiled and overly unseasoned state when I was little, so they all tasted the same.

Sometimes though it is just a difference in taste. Some things you might not actually like and that is okay.


I know, but this applies to things like spinach and lettuce too, which I'm not that fond of either.

I think it is good that you have tried all of these things. Not everyone likes foods that are popular so you never know what you will find good.


She lied about many things, including my grades.

It's reasonable to be mad when someone lies about you. However, it's healthier just to move on from your ex.


I should have broken up with her four months ago and I should challenge her honesty in front of other people.

It is better if you just move on instead of confronting her. It will just make moving on harder and longer than it should be.


What does a feminist and a potato have in common ? Their IQ. Sorry, I offended potatoes across the world.

Do you have any friends who are feminists? What do they think of your statements? I would be horrified at the potato comparison.


I don't have any feminists friends. They're all frigid hairy assholes with PMS and they wouldn't even try to work together if they found any common ground with me.

It is so unfair to repeat such a joke that compares feminists with potatoes. I think you should realize a potato can be eaten and females cannot. Not sure where you get your own logic but am suggesting you get to talking with some real feminists on a human level before judgements like this get out of hand.


Are you serious? Why do you want her to cook you dinner?


I'm sure you're in the mood for a home cooked meal and it's fine to ask your wife to cook for you. Just make sure she has the time and doesn't feel pressured to do it.


It's fine, she is always on my case and I don't get any romance from her.

Well as long as she likes cooking I'm sure she won't mind. I hope you enjoy your meal.


I let my friend think I wanted to sleep with his wife because the truth was worse.

What will happen if you tell him you were never interested in his wife?


That is awful. You should not feel pressured to have sex with anyone. If you think you will be raped you should avoid that person.


It is too late, I already slept with his brother Dave.

It sounds like you are in a dangerous situation and you should get some space away from them. It would not be good to be around people that might hurt you and rape you.


I'm going to eat meat even if I'm vegetarian.

Why are you calling yourself vegetarian if you eat meat?


I'm going to eat meat in order to apologize to my former boss. To show that I was wrong.

While I am not sure how eating meat will help the relationship with your boss, you are welcome to eat what you want. However eating meat after not eating it for a while can make you sick, so be careful.


This did not help. It actually made things worse.

Well if you tried it and it wasn't helpful, you are better off going back to being a vegetarian. You were most likely one for a reason, so to just switch back and forth like that has to be difficult on you.


try changing it to something like "I'll ruin your life" or "I drive a shitty Honda and Vape" you'll get mad hoes


I'm saying you should try to whore yourself at h0e.com just like me and if that doesn't work, drink a bottle of bleach

I think you are just generalizing women with no factual basis based on a limited experience. It's not right to project your values on a whole gender because that's what you personally experienced and believe.


Why doesn't Jesus play hockey Because he keeps getting nailed to the boards


I only said it in a very sarcastic way, but why not make fun of Christians?

Christianity is a faith that deserves respect just like all the other faiths in the world and your joke about Jesus' crucifixion person1s Christian beliefs and doctrine unduly. Give others the respect of practicing their faith unabated by your comments.


I'm going to ghost a friend due to her alleged mental health issues, can I tell you now?

Really? Is it just the mental health issues she has that's bothering you?


She has been allegedly having sex with someone else and it just intensified my hatred towards her.

You shouldn't ghost on your friends. They won't know why they are being ignored and thus not learn from their mistakes.


She had sex with her teacher now she has something to learn from.

Ghosting a friend seems rather peculiar to me. It is something you need to stop thinking about because it is rude and demeaning. Also, what business is it of yours who she has sex with if you are just her friend?


I had a 1400 rating at the beginning of my games


At the beginning of my games I had a gaming mouse

It is good to have fun playing games. You should be proud of how well you did.


I was but my ratings declined and I can't take it anymore

It's great you had a good rating, but realistically it's not going to last due to variability. Don't give up, and be proud of how far you came! I believe you can practice harder so you can consistently have such high ratings.


I wish I could put black makeup on my lawn and make it emo because then it would start cutting itself.

Are you making fun of people who self-harm?


Yeah, it's funny because they're mentally ill.

I don't think you should make jokes about people cutting themselves, because self-harm is a serious issue. People who self-harm shouldn't be made to feel that what they're going through is something to be laughed at. I think if you talked to some people who have experience with it you'd realize how harmful those words were.


Breaking out of prison is a serious thing to do and can have serious consequences. Society expects people to serve the entirety of their prison sentence. I think the best thing to do is turn yourself in.


Prison is boring as hell and I escaped to meet my true love. I missed her so much!

I understand wanting to be with someone you are in love with, and I'm sure it was difficult being away from them while in prison. I'm sure she could see you on visiting days in prison though. The best thing to do though is to turn yourself in before things escalate any further.


I was the only boy dressed as a girl by my classmates in grade school

You are not a weird boy, those kids were just bullying you. You need to take off the label and live life by your own terms, not them. That was so long ago so it shouldn't have to affect you this day.


Dwelling on the past isn't healthy for you. You need to move on with your life.


What do you call a black person with a peg leg? Shit on a stick.

Okay, that was a racial slur and I feel disgusted after hearing it. Do you really feel it's an innocent joke?


It's not a racist one because I would call a white person with a peg leg the same.

Comparing black people to excrement is racism and is something that is not okay at all to say even in a joking manner. When jokes like that are made, it reinforces negative beliefs about black people since it makes them seem less than human and makes it difficult for them to live their lives without racial discrimination or bias. Why not refrain from making negative comments about skin color so that black people can be treated more equally in the world?


I'm going to ask for a free commissioned piece of art that the artist him/herself advertised as free.

Why do you want to have a free piece of art?


It's okay to expect something to be how a person advertised it. If the artist said it was free then they should stay true to their word to keep their reputation.


Since the artist said it would be free it's normal for you to expect it to be free.


Did you know you can major in two things. They don't necessarily have to be related. For example, I majored in Chemistry and African Studies and they don't really have anything to do with each other except for AIDS.

Err...is it ok to make jokes about Africa?


Of course it's ok. They are themselves to blame for aids.

I don't think you'd like it if other countries started saying America was to blame for COVID. Those assumptions are rude to say about Africa as well.


Aids really came out of nowhere. We should be thankful they have been coming out with medications to end the side effects of this horrible disease.


I want to remove myself from my ex step daughter's life

Why don't you want to be in her life anymore?


Even though it is hard on them, you don't have to be in their life anymore after the relationship with their parent is over. It might confuse them to still be in their life.