My bf and I have been dating for a couple years. He tried to date a girl beforehand who wasn’t sexually compatible so they decided to be platonic friends. I find out that he drove her down the road to see the eclipse together, then they went to his house and laid on the trampoline with pillows and blankets talking and looking up at the stars. This girl did not know I even existed though. We met - I think because we had to because our paths were going to emerge - and she casually mentioned the hangout. My boyfriend said they were just hanging out as friends, and she was going through a rough time so he was there for her. And they went on the trampoline because he didn’t have chairs outside, and put down blankets because the trampoline was dirty. And he asked me then if he was allowed to have female friends on the trampoline. He doesn’t really like me bringing it up , says that I overthink, and that we talked about it once and that should be good.

Opposite ends even tho she didn’t know u exist That's literally the love of his life . Girl please be for real.


My boyfriend and I have been together a little over 3 years. There has been plenty of ups and downs, as any relationship entails. While I came name off a number of things he's done wrong, I don't think it has much to do with why I want to leave. I see things a lot differently than he does, and he is going to think I am running away. I believe I am trying to run towards something new and life-changing. It's been on my mind for months now, and I even have all initial and monthly costs planned out. I cannot keep repeating this cycle I am currently in. I know I will be unhappy if I continue. I just don't know how much longer I should wait. I also have obligations here, should that stop me? I am grateful for everything he has done, but I don't think I am satisfied here. Everyday is the same. I always have a feeling in my gut telling me to leave. He doesn't want to change, he wants to keep me by his side forever. I know for a fact he feels this way because of all the sobbing and pain about me leaving him. I think this is also my fault, as I comfort him in my arms, lying to him. I don't know what is keeping us together anymore, because I have started to detach myself more and more. We have talked about this multiple times, his or my behavior and how it can change. But I am no longer interested in trying to change him, I can only change myself. I have meditated and weighed out the options for hours on end, but I'm still stuck. There are other factors that bring me to these conclusions, not just my boyfriend. I'm trying to be as logical as I can before I make such an impulsive decision. First, I have a cat. I love her to death and I'm not sure I could take her because I plan to live out my car. Second, my car is not the best. It needs a lot of work because it is older. Third, I am legally obligated as a bond co-signer to monitor my boyfriend . Last, I'm not sure he would survive on his own. What would any of you do in this situation? Is it time for me to embark on this journey or should I wait longer until I am fully prepared? I should also note that I have a reliable amount of income working from home.

wait so why not just take him with you? did i miss something in the post maybe? Well it sounds like you have a legal obligation you need to address. Then you need to rehome your cat. And you need a new car. Personally, I think you better sort the legal discreetly first and see what your options are. Then I’d plan to move out while you sort the other items but before travel.


Basically there's a newer coworker at the reception who's very shy and reserved. Barely says anything to anyone, no eye contact whatsoever. She won't even say hello unless you say it first. That type of thing. I had a basic conversation with her but it wasn't really going anywhere . I left her to her own devices since I'm not really getting the vibe that she's interested at all. I'm not a pushy person. Is it ill advised to just rip off the bandage and ask her if she wants to grab a coffee sometime and if it's a no, just respectfully say " No hard feelings, totally understand " and remain polite and professional from that point onwards or should I not even bother?

As the old saying goes, don't shit where you eat Just keep getting to know her at work. You want some signs of interest before you ask them out.


Don’t get me wrong… I am not some asshole looking for ways to get out of a relationship… But this girl has been love bombing me for the longest of times she gets angry on stupid things or really illogical shit like, 1)why are you sad … you being sad ruins my vibe 2) add two tomatoes to the curry …me … got angry as hell … fought for whole day 3) her suggestions are commands to me 4) wont stop talking about how rich her father is … makes me feel how small i am I have discussed all these problems with her … it stops for a while and creeps up again … if i discuss it again she cries and wont stop until i give up and say its okay..or she has some perspective in which i am wrong somehow and she is the victim Right now i am in a crucial age where i need to focus on my career and want someone who supports that idk how to end things … I have seen people end things mutually and be good in life … please tell me how to

Hi bro i left you a dm cause i have a personal message for you full of concerns . hope it helps and sorry i am over the top with my thought “I feel like we have different expectations in a relationship and unfortunately this isn’t working for me. I hope we can stay friendly but understand if that’s not possible.”


My boyfriend cheated on me, and after that, our relationship was never the same. I discovered that he was seeing another girl and talking to three more on Tinder. He had been using Tinder for three months while he was with me. I decided to forgive him. After he cheated on me, he constantly accused me of being unfaithful, controlled me, and asked me to send pictures. I agreed, but the problem was that he didn’t reciprocate. On Thursday, I found him walking with a girl; I knew she was his friend, but I still got angry and didn't text him all night because he didn't tell me he was going to do that, and he always demanded that I do those things. After that, he stopped talking to me for two days, until today when he decided to break up with me. His reasons: because I’m insecure, controlling, and jealous. I want to add that he invited me to lunch today and brought his mom. I couldn’t talk to him about anything except when his mom got up to order food. At that moment, he said, “We have nothing more to talk about. We’re done.” I feel somewhat frustrated by everything, and I feel it’s my fault for being jealous on Thursday and that nothing is right. Is this my fault? Because I think I am guilty. I want to add that this is very painful for me, but the relationship was suffocating me financially. He was very demanding with gifts and food, liked to eat at expensive places, and I usually treated him, spending all my money on him every month. That suffocated me a lot, and I accepted the breakup just because of that. Financially, he left me in a very bad place. Do you think I should write to him and ask to fix things? What should I do? I don’t know what to do from now on.

The relationship is done. He was unhappy that you didn’t trust him and that you weren’t ‘letting him’ do what he wanted with whoever he wanted. The dude was a disrespectful, dishonest, disloyal cheating asshole. People like that aren’t good people with high moral character. When someone shows you who they are, *believe them.* Surround yourself with friends, family, hobbies, sports, etc. Save money while you’re at it. It hurts when you find out that someone you care about isn’t who you thought they were / wanted them to be. Onward to bigger and brighter things! It's bananas. He sounds like the worst. He cheats on you, sucks up your money, and you want to go back to him? I don't understand. Am I missing something? It's got to be a joke post.


Sometimes it’s a hit or miss with a match on OLD when the guy stop responding or unmatched me. I honestly just laugh it off but i really like to know what makes you turned off?

“Wyd” - sends me into a rage 🤣🤣🤣🤣 A few things for me 1. Trying to get me to sub to something It shows you already assume that I'm only sex minded, and that's not an energy I can start or continue a convo on 2. One word responses that don't give me room to move the conversation. If I ask you a question, give me more than, "yes" or "I guess" so that we can actually talk 3. Taking days to respond with no explanation consistently. I don't want to be a five days later thought to someone so I'll just remove myself from those situations


I have little experience in dating. This guy has been liking every single story I post. I’m interested. We went to the same middle school and I’m looking to rekindle things. I have been liking his stories and just now I liked a note that he posted, but when I did, I genuinely felt nauseated and disgusted and nervous. I would love to be in a relationship with the guy, but the whole process of starting over on a new person and getting them to start talking to you is so nerve wracking. I talk to other girls my age and they seem to be able to have a new guy they snap every week, but I just cant. I never talk to guys I dont know, nor do I want to. What do you guys think? Is it normal to be so nervous about starting a relationship that you feel sick to your stomach lol? Does this mean I’m not good at dating? What should I do to calm myself down about this?

You'd be amazed at what you can find with open and honest communication. Just message the dude. Why dance around it like this?


For a brief background, we've been dating/going out together for 4 months. He asked me what I wanted for our relationship, so I said I needed to know if we were on the same page before making any decisions. This morning, he admitted he likes me, and I told him I like him too. But then he said, "We're clear now? Then I'll go to sleep," which disappointed me. It felt like we should discuss what happens next after his confession. Am I expecting too much, which is why I'm disappointed? Now, his messages seem a bit distant, or maybe I'm just overthinking things.

4 months seems like a very very long time not to even say that you like each other. That usually comes up within a few dates for me the fact you call him saying he likes you already a confession says you're expecting too much. life isn't an anime. were you hoping for fireworks to go off randomly in the background and for him to pin you against the wall and start making out with you? he seems distant now because you confronted him on it and told him he needs to tell you his feelings.


I am in a long-distance relationship. We are very much in love with each other. She has a very high sex drive so we sext often, which I love to do. We have a great relationship outside one thing: she has a pretty massive kink for NTR or “cuckolding”. She brought it up several times and wants to involve me in it. Basically, it’s been a long time since she’s been intimate with someone and yearns for it. She’s been wanting to hook up with a guy, just once, and text me during. She is fine with almost any condition I set for it. She doesn’t want any kissing during, he will be blindfolded, etc. I have some relationship experience but none were with this high sex-drive nor with such a kink. I can tell it means a lot to her but she told me she would never do it if it makes me sad. I’d rather not do it at all, personally. I know no feelings are involved so it’s less jealousy, but I don’t want her to unconsciously compare my performance to some other guy. But I know this will mean she’ll just be pent up, especially given our current distance. She assured me it would be a one time thing and I’d be very involved. I think, if I can set some conditions down, I might be willing to do it *just once*. I’d especially rather agree to it because, shitty as I am to think that, her hypersexuality is to the point where she’d either be miserable, or she’d go ahead and do it quietly. I’d rather at least be *involved* if she does. I wanted to ask this for experienced kinky people: if you had such a kink, would you be satisfied with just one time? Did you ever end up comparing your partner’s performance to whoever you indulged in this cuckold kink with? How did it affect your relationship?

There’s a close to zero chance it will only be once, lol. If you research cuckolding, it’s usually the man who has that kink, not the woman . I think she’s just horny & wants your permission to fuck. If you’re uncomfortable, say no. Maybe suggest an open relationship while you’re apart, so you can both get some? OP, this is just a way for her to have sex with other guys, and have you on board with it. You should refuse to participate, and tell her it makes you highly uncomfortable. Tell her if it comes up again, the relationship is over. Tell her you would like to have sex with other women, and have her watch. Ask her if she is on board with that.


I'm m23 never been in a relationship, recently the girls in my friends group were asked if they had to marry a guy from the group who would they pick and they started telling there first choice 2nd choice 3rd choice and so on. And i was waiting there thinking now they are gonna say my name, at the end they named random guy's my name never came up. One of them said she's dating a guy exactly like me and plan's to marry him. I don't know what it is about me.

Well do you actually talk to women and let your intentions be known in a calm manner? And if you do what do you say? Yes as a man you need to stand out. We kinda got it the opposite generally ATM. People are worshipping female bodies and falling over females, no wonder females detest most modern men. It's the male who is meant to be the one revered not the female! To get noticed you will either have to project something, confidence, humour, strength. Or if you're not that type, demonstrate with your actions......


I’ll preface by saying I understand everyone is looking for something different. I’m also not saying I don’t know what I’m looking for. I just don’t know how to phrase it in a way that is clear. -I’m definitely not looking for a hookup. -I’m not necessarily dating to marry, as in, I’m not in any hurry. I feel like any version of “I’m looking for something serious” is way too much pressure. I would be open to something serious with the right person. -It would be nice to go on dates and get to know someone if I find anyone that seems interesting and compatible. That is casual to me. If something serious develops from that, awesome! If not, maybe we can be friends or just go our separate ways, but hookups or fwb or situationships are still fully off the table. I feel like, to me, my intention is to date casually and see where that goes. But, to most men , something casual is synonymous with hookups. I’m not gonna have sex with someone I’m not dating. I don’t know how to make sure expectations are clear for everyone.

You can say something like, "I'm open to meeting new people and seeing where things go naturally. I'm looking for genuine connections and enjoying the dating process, with the possibility of something serious if it feels right." This communicates your openness to both casual dating and potentially something more serious without applying pressure or implying you're seeking a hookup. Pressure for who?


I don’t even know where to begin with this but I’ll try to be as short as possible with giving the full story. I’m 26 and my girlfriend is 24. We’ve been together for a little over two years. Living together for a year. We have a very active sex life, usually every day or every other day. She was my first. I wasn’t her first but that’s ok. So it’s safe to say I watched a lot of porn before I got into a relationship. We talked about it in the beginning of our relationship. She didn’t seem to have an issue. She watches it too. She just said no onlyfans because her ex cheated on her with an only fan model. I said ok. And we went about our relationship. Until we decided to watch porn together as a couple. At first she seemed fine, then she just walked away and said she wasn’t into it. She told me she saw the look on my face, and she doesn’t like that. And I guess ever since we moved in together, she stopped watching porn. She told me “I’m satisfied with you. I don’t need to watch it. It doesn’t do it for me anymore” I said I don’t watch it as often anymore either. And that was that. We started getting into dirty conversation, and once again. Porn came up. I mentioned that I look up instagram girls OF usernames so I can watch it on Reddit or another platform. I’m not paying. I’m not interacting. So I thought it was ok. I asked last week if she wanted to find a “JOI video for couples” (for those who don’t know, it’s a video of a woman instructing somebody how to pleasure themselves. It’s been something I’ve always liked. And she’s bisexual. She said “no” and said she wasn’t in the mood anymore. I said “even if it was a hot older woman???” She said no again and walked away. We talked after she she said that she doesn’t like how specific I am with my porn. As in looking up nudes of specific actresses and such. And that it makes her feel like she’s not enough when we have adventurous sex. I watch it wayyyy less than before. I just brought it up again months and months after because my girlfriend mentioned JOI. Her telling me what to do in person. That’s why I suggested one we could both watch. I don’t look up specific porn stars anymore and I don’t understand how it’s different than watching porn. It’s all just out of curiosity. Now she’s debating everything.

Porn in relationships is kind of a tricky topic. The sort of stuff your partner watches can bring up insecurities in you that you had no idea existed, or even actually give you new ones, it's pretty crazy. When it comes to the OF thing, it's kind of obvious that it's not gonna be a good idea to look up OF girls even if you don't pay for it so No idea what kind of porn she's watching herself but my guess is that she compares herself to the women you get off to and feels threatened by them OK, the OF thing - nice try, slick, but this is a relationship not a debating society, technicalities don’t win they just make you look sneaky On the rest: I get not being cool with you being into specific porn people, that becomes a very direct comparison between that person and her, which is not a nice feeling. More generally, people can have *really* specific porn tastes that may also depend contextually on a thousand other things going on at the time, it may literally just be that she’s not into specifically what you’re into What she said about the “look on your face” makes me think she perceives your response to porn to be objectifying. And on the one hand, it’s porn, of course it’s objectifying. But at the same time, she thinks of you as a respectful person who sees her - and by extension all women - as a whole person. Seeing you in “porn mode” may have been quite jarring to her perception of you Honestly I’d just stop trying to share it, clearly that’s not working for her


So im a 20 year old guy and i literally never talked to a girl for longer than 5 minutes, unless it was a family member or they were at their job . Now i started "dating" by using instagram, dating apps and approching in real life but it just doesnt seem to work. Now you might say i should work on myself but the problem is that im already doing that: Without sounding arrogant i would say that i have an athletic physique, i dress good, i smell good, my face isnt to bad either and im quiet confident. Besides money i dont know what else i should change about myself and i dont want to lower my standarts even more. What should i do?

You say you're confident, but make a post like this doesn't add up. You are only 20. I am older and I am also single myself but I mostly choose to stay that way.


Not sure if this is the right sub but it deals with “dating” so here I go. I have been friends with Sam for 3 years, we recently stepped in the next stage of “talking”. He is very sweet,but one thing I cannot get over is his lack of financial planning. Sam lives in the country and rent is no more than $550-$600 with utilities/car insurance included he pays no more than $900 a month. I live in the city and pay 2x that amount. I make good money but I am also very cheap and know how to save/spend. Sam eats out EVRYDAY. I have talked to him about his spending habits, eating at home VS eating out everyday. It’s gets nowhere Recently I just got the ICK when he asked me for $3 and said he will pay me back. We got into an argument because of this like come tf on bro. Few days go by and TODAY he asks if I could buy him groceries for him and his daughter. Like $40 worth. Would I be wrong to buy them and then block him? Ps he makes decent money to live where he is at. He could be saving $500-700 a month but as I stated very bad with money.

Acts of kindness getting abused. They will learn the hard way and hopefully try to save some money. If they ask for money and i do help. Its a one and done deal. Nope, I can see where you're coming from and it'll just continue to happen if you stay with him.


I think the main reason I am writing this is in the off chance he will he will see which is absolutely pathetic but hey guess I’m pathetic right now. When I say husband, it’s only bc we can’t get divorced yet. If I refinance then it will double my mortgage and I can’t pay that but I kicked him out years ago we soon as I found out but but he was fully in love with her and despite acting like he was still seeing her, they are together still. I want to be in a chill place for our son who is five. But he talks to me with such a nasty tone like he hates me. He was my best friend years and absolutely amazing the first few years when I found out. I was hospitalized a month after we got married and within the day I went in I was diagnosed and quickly paralyzed from left side, waist up. For years I struggled so bad and we were youngrt. It was hard on us but I was getting better and I thought we could fall back in love but by then he was gone. I’ve forgiven him but this hurts worse than cheating. I got angry bc our son called him and the mistress was making noises when she heard my voice that it seemed disrespectful and just. I blew up his phone after and he blocked me but it’s been weeks and he will change his work schedule and his or my mom tells me. WHY!? I didn’t do anything to him and I’m doing so well, nearly back to normal. My neurologist said the case baffled him and I even started my own marketing agency recently and… the guy had not once asked how I am. When I blow up I get real nasty. I know. I’m so hurt and I don’t want him as a husband ) but I do want to coparent well for our son and it’s impossible if he is so nasty/acts like I don’t exist. When I found out I kicked him out hurt he came over all the time bc it was good for our son and honestly I was okay bc by the time I found out I felt relief. I realized he had been really horrible to me but I was so sick/tired I didn’t react. I trusted him more the myself so I just internalized everything. For 8 years he was seemingly the sweetest man. He can this be the same guy? Someone make it make sense!

What's relapsing on MS? Cognitive dissonance is the answer. He knows cheating on you while you were sick is a scummy low-down thing to do. He is an awful person UNLESS you were a witch and a terrible wife before you got sick. He has probably rewritten history in his own mind and convinced his AP that they aren't really bad people because the marriage was already over. The way he treats you is a reflection of his newly created really. Kill him with kindness. If he will not meet you halfway on creating a schedule, it isn't your fault when he doesn't get his time as a result. Wait for him to text you or get an app to communicate. His AP is probably super paranoid because she knows everything they did while you were still together. I bet she is monitoring the communications.


I've been dating a guy for 6 months. His birthday was last month and I spent almost $200 on gifts that would be personal to him. My birthday was last week. He wished me a happy birthday via text and that was it. He told me he got me a "small gift" but never gave it to me after seeing him 3 times since. I got really emotional over the week and told him I didn't think we should be together. He didn't seem to care. My friends were furious when they heard he got me nothing, as they know I was making the effort to buy him his gifts online and to make sure I got it in time for his birthday. Was I expecting too much? I told him I would have appreciated even a rock by the river.

Sounds like one of you was in the relationship the entire time while the other wasn't. Never spend that much money for the first gift unless you have no expectations the value would be matched. Not worth it for someone you known for 5 months dating wise. It’s okay to have expectations but given his lack of response or care I’d drop him


You guys were absolutely right I should not have touched him when he asked me to stop. I really think I made this situation way worse. Relevant information I forgot to include in my panicked state: we are both people who have been sexual assaulted multiple times and have PTSD from it. I think if this was flipped and he kept touching me as someone who had been SAed and I choked him, no one would have batted an eye. Additionally, in the last few days he has set up an appointment to get medication, he had his first session with a therapist, and got diagnosed with Autism. This makes a lot of sense. I think he was having an autistic meltdown and then I triggered his PTSD on top of that. It still obviously doesn't make his reaction okay, but it makes it explainable. We are taking some time separate to work on ourselves and our own mental health. We have had some really productive conversations. I am definitely going to keep my hands to myself going forward because I escalated this situation. We've agreed that if anything like this were to ever happen again, that's a hard line for both of us and I'm moving out immediately. I also tested him twice which maybe isn't the best thing, but I wanted to gauge his reaction for my own safety. I asked him if he'd go to anger management classes and he said if I thought it would help that he absolutely would. I also acted as if I had finally decided to move out, and he calmly accepted that and asked if he could help me out. Ultimately I know the statistics. However I really think this was a case of some serious undiagnosed and untreated mental health. I'm going to give it another go and check in regularly with the people around me. He has also shared what happened with family and is being honest about the situation.

…good luck. Be safe. If choking or any other act of violence happens even one more time don’t make excuses and rationalize it. The relationship needs to be over. As someone who has worked in the domestic violence field for 10 years, you received some really, really problematic advice on your last post. A very large percentage of commenters in this sub do not have the personal or professional experience to appropriately and adequately respond to domestic violence posts, and this is yet another example of that. Nothing you said or did led to him strangling you. This was a choice. Strangulation is not reactive abuse. Just because your behavior was not okay does not mean this should be solely chalked up to a PTSD response or a mental health breakdown. You said it makes his behavior explainable, but any domestic violence professional worth their salt would not agree with this. There is more going on here than this, and redditors without experience in this topic cannot untangle that safely. I am going to leave it there. If you want advice that is not dangerous and that will take into account the whole situation, talking to a domestic violence advocate is far more advisable than relying on reddit, though I understand why you did so and I totally get it. r/abusiverelationships is open to you.


So recently I broke up with my boyfriend who I had been with for 3 months because I felt like he just didn't respect me. He would tell me dirty jokes and wouldn't stop when I told him it bothered me. Generally, he always tried to blame me whenever I tried to communicate with him about what I didn't like in our relationship. I also feel like he just didn't make an effort because he knew I'd never had a boyfriend before, so he thought anything would satisfy me. When I was breaking up with him, I told him that I was going through a rough time and needed to focus on myself, mentioning his behavior as well, and he didn't even ask what was going on. Now, 2 weeks after we broke up, he wants to try again, but the first thing he writes to me is that "he saw on my Instagram stories that I'm having fun with my friend." I told him that we can keep in touch, but I don't think there will be anything more to it. He keeps saying that we should try but I'm not having any of it. The problem is that I have low self-esteem and I feel like that's why he treats me this way... I wish that everything could be good in our relationship but I just feel that he is not the person for me and that nothing will come of it, but I also don't want to write anyone off 100% and I really don't know what to do. TDLR, I broke up with my boyfriend but he wants me back and I don't know if I should give him a chance.

He saw you having fun and is trying to worm his way back in. Don't do it. Stop talking with him . It doesn’t mean you hate him. But he seems to be just unhealthy. Work on yourself esteem. You seem to know you are worth more than being offered.


Hello! Maybe a bit of an oddball question but hopefully I can find some interesting answers here. I find that on dating apps there are a lot of women with prompts such as: Looking for a man with masculine energy, We’ll get along if you take the initiative, and other different ways of expressing a grievance of the fact that they experience men these days aren’t exhibiting traits conforming to stereotypical gender roles. I find it quite unattractive, and also I really don’t want to waste my time with these people, especially because I don’t really feel I identify with the stereotypical gender role of a man. I’m a bit careful and sensitive. I don’t like sports. I'm not a macho guy basically. I can take the initiative to a certain degree but it doesn’t sit right with me if I’m the only one expected to do it. Great, then I simply don’t need to write to these people you may say. I don’t! That’s not the problem, I feel as if there’s a lot of people sharing these sentiments despite not having a prompt giving it away. So I was wondering if there’s any prompt or something else that I might add to my profile to scare away people that are only looking for men who fit into the stereotypical male role without also making myself sounding as if I’m making a big fuzz about it. I want to have positive prompts that don’t make me seem uptight or negative. I find that it would be hard to convey what I want without it seeming a bit prude? Hope I'm making sense, advice would be great! TLDR: Want to convey in my dating profile that I don't conform to stereotypical gender roles without sounding like a prude.

I know that dating apps are what people use these days to find prospective partners but the odds of someone being honest and the fact that one cannot represent themselves as others might see them makes things even harder. The fake, touched up pics, the false narratives of who they think they are, or who they want to be, or who they want you to think they are is just mind boggling when it comes to weeding out the duds. Then the interview dates that follow, it all seems to be so much trouble when all you really have to do is go out into the world and interact with other people to meet people. The grocery store and laundry mats are great places to meet people. It is a relaxed environment which leads to chance meetings. Ask someone a question if they have tried xyz and did they enjoy it, how to cook it, etc. Frequent the same cafe and check out others that frequent that same cafe. You will spend much less time digging through endless profiles and see people in real life. Volunteer somewhere, nice loving caring people do volunteer work and usually have better acceptance levels. Good luck! I am really into guys like you, and I'd say it is often visible in their pictures. As in like posture, cloth but also pics of hobbies. You can also show that you are more on the sensitive side by writing a "longer" paragraph about yourself, so then it kinda shows through you tone . You can also just state, that you prefer non-traditional gender roles. You need to be careful about wording though or explain it a little, so they don't confuse it with gender identity. My personal go to to make sure to not attract matcho men: I have "feminist " in my bio. Works wonders. If you are a feminist, put that in there. At the end of the day, you need to get yourself out their , meet people and just try to have fun, and see how it goes. If you sometimes attract the wrong person, that's normal.


I’ve been texting with this guy for about a month and a half, we hung out once after a couple weeks of talking and I had a great time and he said that he did too. After that I went out of town for a little over a week and we agreed to hang out again after I got back. However, for the last week or so he’s been taking longer and longer to reply to my messages. A few days after I returned from my trip I asked him if he was free anytime soon so we could plan something and he said he would be busy for the next week but should be free after that and would let me know. It’s coming up to the time that he’s supposed to be free and he’s made no mentions of making plans since then, I’ve been back for almost 2 weeks now. He has told me that he has a lot going on right now so I know that he’s currently struggling a little bit. There have been a few times when he’s taken a long time to respond that he apologized and said it was because he had a bad day due to everything going on. He’s never taken more than a full day to respond before, however as of right now it’s been almost 30 hours with no reply and I checked his snap score and saw that he’s been active on there. I know that he has a lot on his plate but now I’m starting to have doubts that he’s just using that as an excuse to distance himself. I’m worried that I may be overreacting since we haven’t been talking for very long, but I’m considering ending things the next time he texts me . I feel bad because of everything he’s dealing with right now, but it just doesn’t seem like he’s in a place currently to be talking to anybody and I would rather not waste either of our time. I don’t necessarily want to end things, he seems like a good guy, but again I just don’t know if he’s in the right position for anything romantic. I want to give him some grace because of his situation but am becoming more and more suspicious that that’s not the actual reason for the long response times. tl;dr: Been texting this guy for a month and a half, hung out once and both said we had a great time. Said we would hang out again but he hasn’t made any effort to and is taking a long time to reply so I’m thinking of ending it.

Respectfully I think he is giving you every sign to move on. Even if he is being genuine, would you want this to be the typical cadence? You deserve someone who wants you and is on the same page. If nothing else stop talking to him first and see how he reacts. If he's juggling a lot, it could explain the slow replies, but actions speak louder than words. Maybe send a casual message like, "Hey, hope you're doing okay! Still up for hanging out soon?" If he doesn't respond or make plans, it might be time to move on. No need to wait around indefinitely.


Hello everyone. Hope you're all doing well. Just came seeking some advice. My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over two months, however, we've known each other for longer . When we got together, I experienced a lot of anxiety, which I suspect to be ROCD , but beyond that, everything has been perfect. She is everything I could've asked for in a partner, or at least I thought she was, until the other day. We were making out and she said, "the thought of someone else doing this to you makes me want to stab them." Previously, we had talked about me being a bit possessive, her claiming that she wasn't. So, given this, I asked: "So you are a bit possessive, aren't you?" Jokingly, of course. I can't remember exactly how it got to this point, but eventually, I asked: "Could you see me with another girl?" Everything is blurry beyond this moment. Somehow it led to her saying, "I could see myself with another guy." At first I didn't hear what she said, and then had to backtrack. She said it would be like a performance for me, and that all she wants it to make me happy/proud. In fact, her saying this did the exact opposite. Once she realized that, she began explaining that is was just a fantasy and that she might not even be interested in it at all. She began crying and saying that she never meant to hurt me and that she doesn't want to ruin our relationship, in which I assured her that everything was okay, but it's still at the forefront of my mind. She explained to me later that she is in fact monogamous and doesn't want anyone else, but I can't get the thought of my head. My ROCD doesn't help either, as it always ensures that I fixate on even the smallest things. I know she loves me, that's a fact. But now I'm questioning the credibility and longevity of our relationship. I just can't seem to let it go at the moment. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

I’ve never heard of ROCD, but if you think you have it, get yourself a real diagnosis & treatment instead of just suspecting you have it & letting it drive your thoughts. The lead-up to what she said looks like dirty talk focused on fantasy. You started it by asking if she could see you with another girl. She then took the baton & ran with it. Everyone has different way of expressing their sexuality, she was honest about a fantasy. It's important to accept that people will have fantasies and such, we can't control what others want. She also seems like she's cares about you with how she cried afterwards. Even with that fantasy, she can still love you as you mentioned. Many people have fantasies but don't act out on them. I would try to focus on enjoying what you have life is short


I matched with a guy on tinder, and while my original intent was to have casual sex, I ultimately decided I want to meet up a few times before doing so. However, the man seems so obsessed with Sex. He wants me to dirty talk even though I stated that I’m uncomfortable with that. He was also disappointed over the fact that I changed my mind about jumping straight into sex. He kept asking if it’s something he did and insisted on being safe and good guy. I said it’s because we’re strangers and that it wasn’t anything he did. He kept asking the same questions over and over again and I just said “let’s just see how Wednesday goes” and left it as that and stopped responding to him. However, I am thinking about blocking him all together due to his reaction alone. I only matched with him 4 days ago and he is set on texting me every day all day since then. I feel like if he is this taken back by me setting my boundaries, what else would he be upset over? Am I in the wrong here???

This is not a man who is going to respect your boundaries. Ditch and block Most men are obsessed with sex The difference is how good they are at hiding it


As the title suggests, I'm having trouble navigating these types of conversations about moving in with two female roommates: one is a loose friend of a friend, and the other is a personal friend. For most of my life, I've had no trouble making opposite-gender friendships that are strictly platonic, but I acknowledge that perspective may not always be shared. At the end of the day, I want to make my partner feel more secure about this situation. Has anyone had experience with this in the past, and how can I be simultaneously supportive and realistic of the situation at hand?

You said these women felt like the best fit for you. That’s telling. If it was me in your position, the best fit for me would be people that were the same sex because I know that would be best for my relationship and my relationship would be very important to me. Long distance is already SO hard, I would personally leave the relationship if my partner moved two women into his home. It wouldn’t be a concern of cheating it would just be that it would become too difficult to continue the relationship. It would also be clear to me that my partner wasn’t making decisions for us but for himself. Well, if she's long-distance, this isn't going to be easy, but I've always found the best way to make your partner feel comfortable with your opposite-sex friends is to introduce them. Let them all get to know each other and possibly develop a friendship of their own, so they'll see they're no threat to them or your relationship.


So I got out of a relationship last year and I’m having a hard time moving on. What’s something that’s helped you move on from you ex or any advice you can give to move forward and start dating again? I feel Iike I’ve lost my soulmate and I’m having a hard time moving on.

I just made a post looking for this exact advice. OP, please let me know if you find anything that helps. I feel for you. You need to fall in love with yourself again. Simple. I once went through a heartbreak that hurt me and I never told I'd get over the person. It was taking too long and I could not even reciprocate to people who liked me. I got rid of all the things that reminded me of my ex-pictures, clothes, and I started working on myself more. I fell in love with myself over again and it made me see clearly that I deserve to love and be loved again. It may take a while, but you'll definitely get over them


He wasn't like this in the beginning, but as we got closer, he got more comfortable. It hasn't even been two months since we met, and I already told him how hurtful it is to be left on read. He apologized and promised to be more considerate, but he always uses the excuse, "I'm always so busy" . He asked me out for brunch today, but I wasn't feeling well, so I apologized and offered to do dinner after work on Monday. He said he's busy and suggested we rain check for next Sunday because he's going out of town mid-week. After that, he left me on read again. I don't know what to do with this guy. I like him, but I feel like I'm begging for attention. Should I move on or stick with the date and talk to him in person about this? If so, how should I bring it up?

"Sorry but I'm looking for someone who is more available and less busy. I'm looking for a serious relationship and it doesn't seem like I'm going to get that with you" Stick with the date and discuss it in person, if it continues then move on, people are busy and some are legit not good texters, I consider myself to be pretty fast replying specially when Im interested, but still sometimes I forget to reply or take sometime before realizing, it happens, just be clear and discuss it


my friend just called me asking if i'd be upset if her and my dad got together. he's literally in his fourties and she's 18. they've apparently been talking back and forth and flirting for a while which is weird mostly because of his history. He's VERY strict with me, who i date, my outfits i wear in public, and my past with me being abused and groomed multiple times. if i was out dating a 40 y/o and coming home to him and his teenage daughter he'd go INSANE. I was only adopted by him a year ago and didn't know him too well prior. he's been physically abusive but never sexual. it just feels weird but i dont know if it's weird or abusive or anything? I guess my question is if I can do anything about this, if my friend is in danger, etc.

Are u serious? Tell them ull cut them both off that's fucking gross. This is grooming for sure ur dad's a predator > I was only adopted by him a year ago and didn't know him too well prior So this man was just a legal guardian to you for the past year? Yeah, he isn't your dad. He's an abuser who is absolutely planning to abuse your friend as well. If you haven't, I would tell her that he's been physically abusive with you and that you would be extremely worried about her safety if she dated him. I would also make a plan to get yourself away from this guy permanently. He's an abusive creep and NOT your family in any sense of the word. I'm sorry you've had these experiences.


I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year and three guys i knew IRL simultaneously entered my life. I have been sexually active with all three, ofc after letting them know I was. I’ve know them for a month, and guy #1 wants to commit to monogamy since he realized he liked me too much to “keep it casual”, and I’m having a hard time deciding what i want. He feels uncomfortable that I’m meeting other people, and he said he wouldn’t be okay with seeing someone that didn’t choose him over seeing others. It’s understandable, but it puts me in a situation where I feel like i’m already prepping for a new relationship. On one hand, i’m newly single and seeing who I am most compatible with, but on the other, i do genuinely have a liking to him and he’s very caring. We had a deep conversation where i sobbed for 3 hours because I wasn’t sure what decision would be best for me. He’s everything that screams BF material, and i enjoy the time we have together. We’re also compatible, but i also have trauma with men becoming infatuated and then leaving. I also seem to be compatible with the other dudes I’m talking to, since all of them have told me that they’ve “never connected with someone like this before”. I’m also very good friends with the other two guys i’m talking to, and i would also like the time to get to know them. I feel guilty and selfish for wanting to hang out with them more before committing. It also makes me sad that I won’t be able to be friends with them if I do commit, but I’m scared of losing guy #1. I'm genuinely so conflicted, and i dont know what i should do.

Dig into their socials to find out who’s been untruthful with you - should help weed out the bad ones you're fresh out of a relationship so guy #1 might be a rebound. hes probably everything your ex wasnt or doing things that your ex didnt. you sure you want to jump into a relationship right after ending one? whats more important to you? "me time" or being with someone?


So we’ve had arguments about this one girl in the past who he said was just a friend to him, and I never believed it because their exchanges seemed flirty. He had been liking her photos and what not and I actually just requested that he doesn’t keep contact with her if he’s had a flirtatious relationship in the past. He denied her even touching her, but I’ve heard from other people that they actually slept together. Anyways, he removed her from Instagram. Last night we were laying in bed having our own screen time, and our phones touched so his contact card shared and under his emergency contacts it had her listed as “girlfriend”. I honestly flipped out and I was telling him he lied to me about her, not having been his girlfriend and he was saying she was never his girlfriend, and he doesn’t know how that got there, to stop asking questions about the past blah blah. I never intended to ask questions about his past before me, but it’s a lie that bothered me. I’m not sure if she was his girlfriend or not , but every sign points to that she was and he can’t admit. After this, he got up and went to the couch to sleep for the first time in her marriage and hasn’t talked to me all day today. Part of me feels immature for making an argument out of this, but honesty is so crucial to me that I’m having a hard time letting this white lie slip. What’s the most mature way that I can approach this? He seems to not want to communicate with me at all, and honestly seems quite disgusted that I reacted the way that I did.

Don’t get gaslit. It said what it said. Someone entered that word by that number. If not him, then who? Your're married so presumably you share a phone plan. Log in to your online billing and look at activity under his number. it will show you what numbers he's texting, calling etc. You are not the problem here.


Hi! So l've been dating this guy for about a year now. He's a great guy but l've recently found out some things about him that if I knew then, I probably wouldn't have pursued our relationship. My biggest concern now is I found out that he's taking steroid injections on/off for about two years now and he gets his supply from his friend who "knows a guy".. so yeah, it's unprescribed. I’ve talked to him about this before and explained my concern but he said he is taking it with caution so no need to worry. Problem is I can’t help but worry knowing that he’s taking it illegally and for quite a long time now and it’s solely to gain muscle better . I love my bf but this really throws me off. ☹ Any advice on how I should go about our situation?

You decide if it’s a deal breaker for you. Since he isn’t going to be stopping. Hmm, that would be a dealbreaker, I don’t care how much I loved him. It’s a boneheaded move that shows he’s more concerned about his “looks” than his overall health. I couldn’t love that.


hi there, i recently reached back out to an ex that i cut off contact with two years ago. he did something that really upset me, and i decided to set the boundary and block him and i hadn’t spoken to him until last month in two years. it’s hard considering him an ex because we were pretty young and the bulk of our relationship was during peak covid times. I had only met him in person a handful of times. I was 17 when i stopped speaking to him and am 19 now. He also went away for college last year and is home for the summer, we hung out today and I kinda realized speaking and chatting with him has made me feel those past feelings again. He was the first person I ever loved and I do have a soft spot for him. I didn’t initiate anything today because I was fearing rejection lol. Any advice on how to go about telling him how I feel? The stakes aren’t super high because it’s not like he’s become a super close friend or anything and we weren’t talking at all until about a month ago. I don’t think i’d want to have a full blown relationship since he is far away for school, but I’d like to share with him at a prospect of something maybe happening. Feel free to share any advice on how I can communicate this to him.

You say it isn't high stakes but I do think you have to be realistic about how intense your feelings may become given how quickly they came back and the reality it would be long distance. That can be a lot more tiring than you hope. To me the stakes rather than being low instead feel weighted towards a negative outcome. Like even best case scenario he reciprocates and you go long distance. Worst case you feel rejection, or maybe you do date and realise that actually it was mainly nostalgia informing your feelings to begin with. If you have no intention of dating seriously, do you really want to offer your heart to him?


I'm going to say the most cringe thing on planet earth, however, I'm working on being less socially awkward and there's this cute Walmart employee I would like to ask out. 1. He's at least 4 years older than me. 2. I have a habit of being awkward and being far too intense. I'm debating trying my luck and just going and asking, but I'm also very nervous. He's just so cute and I get really excited and hyper.

You are female and him male? Don't dox yourself but is 4 years older closer to them being 20 or them being 50? You are just a customer and not a coworker? All those have some slight bearing. But I think it would be OK. But if he says no, don't keep asking Why wouldn’t you try your luck?


i have officially deleted my dating profiles. i quit. ive been single for about 4 years now. i have been actively going on dates and meeting new people for over a year now. no luck. men just aren’t looking for relationships. i know that im attractive, smart, funny, caring, etc. i am relationship material. i have a lot to offer: the men ive dated have acknowledged this but they are all emotionally unavailable. you may ask, “why date guys that are aren’t available?”. to that i say, “why are unavailable guys on dating apps in the first place?”. the dating market is abysmal. great women and men alike are all struggling and it’s no coincidence why. dating in 2024 is a lost cause. im hoping that me giving up is liberating as i say goodbye to the never-ending disappointment of dead end connections and rejection. maybe now i’ll shave my head. move overseas. become a nomad. i dont know! and it doesnt matter now! good luck to you all still in this dating game. hope you can find what you’re looking for in this shit show.

Lots of us still are looking as a male i feel this with women. Yeah it's really rough. I met this woman at a bar on Friday and absolutely hit it off with her. Within 5 minutes of talking to her she tells me she's in love with my personality and invites me to her place. I try to set up a real date with her the next day and I get hit with the "I just got out of a relationship" card. Shits rough out here. I really wish people were just up front with what they want.


my girlfriend and i were renting a house with roommates and we both have been unhappy with the living situation. so we planned to both move back in with our parents to save money to buy our own house. she already moved in with her mom for about a month and was able to get a job with her. there is a water leak so they have to keep the water cut off until they need it on. the electricity only works in one bedroom so they cannot run AC or the fridge or cook and when they need to use the water, there’s no hot water because the water heater can’t get power. but she chose to move there. i have a decent job and i move in with my dad tomorrow. my plan is to save up enough money to pay off debts and to buy a car for her with cash and for a down payment on a house i can own. i have been renting different houses for almost 4 years and i’m throwing money away she wants me to just go rent another house so we can be together just us two. i told her i want to own my next home and she is saying i don’t care about her living situation. i’ve offered solutions like living with other people and for me to pay to have someone fix the issues with her mom’s trailer she is genuinely mad at me for not getting her out of that trailer when i am trying to build a good future for us both. she threatened to kill herself to see if i would just go ahead and get us a place. i think the whole situation is crazy.

She doesn't give a shit about your efforts, blame you for her situation when you have nothing to do with it and it's not your job to maintain her, and she... threatened to kill herself? the fuck lol. I'd bail the fuck out before she punctured my condoms. Save up and take care of yourself first. She's gotta grow up and get it together instead of trying to live off of you. You offered to help and that's all you should be offering. Don't let her emotionally manipulate you with the threats of taking her life. Let her be mad. If she continues on with her mess instead of helping herself then you probably should dump her.


I've been on and off with guy for two years. We both know we still have feelings for each other but there's just a lot of baggage that makes us not be together. But recently we had like an actual cut off where we didn't talk to each other for a month. I may have told him that we should both see other people and see how it feels and that really hurt him because he felt like I was using him like a second option. I mean he's not wrong because the two years I got no interest from him and all of a sudden he's like trying to peruse me I needed to see if I still, felt for him. I ended up sleeping with someone random off hinge and this is something I've never done. It was strictly sex that was kinda bad. I felt like I had to sleep with someone to move on but clear I couldn't. But anyways I'm talking to the original guy now and I told him I slept with someone. He's kinda mad at me and doesn't know how he feels. I feel like I fucked up, I regret sleeping with the random guy already but telling him about it makes me regret it more. Anyways how can I explain to him that it didn't mean anything and I still love him.

Stop playing with his head! Leave him cut every connection You don't deserve him


This incident just happened and I feel like I’m losing my mind. My husband and I were having a conversation this morning about getting our house cleaned up and organized. He swears I didn’t say something to him but I know I definitely did. Neither of us were on our phones while this was happening. We were sitting on my ILs front porch drinking coffee. The conversation went something like this: Me: you know the accent wall in our kitchen that is a greenish color? Him: yeah Me: I want to get something like a hutch to put there so we can actually store things in drawers. I also want to get something with drawers to go in the living room. Him: yeah I think that would be good Then we moved on talking about other stuff. So about an hour ago we were talking to his parents about it and I mentioned it again and he had no clue what I was talking about. I went through the whole conversation again and he swears I didn’t say that. This happens once a week for us. It drives me insane. I know 100% I said what I did. He does have ADHD so I’m sure it’s something related to that. I’m really not mad about the fact that he didn’t hear me. I’m mad that he tells me I didn’t say something when I know for sure I did. Does anyone else have this problem? Should I just start recording our conversations so I can play it back for him later? Does anyone have any advice on how to fix this?

That is because men tune us out and just answer but did not hear what you said ! I never believed it either, but when I was working and had a lot going on around me I would answer someone and not remember lol So was he looking at the paper or his phone ? That may have been why ? I think one record and playback would/should be enough to permanently stop the feeling like you're losing your mind part.


I have been with my partner for almost 4 years now. Generally we are really happy and have overcome a lot of difficult barriers to get to where we are today. However we have recently realised that our life goals do not align with each other. My partner works really hard as he has to financially support his family which means he normally works all day. Because of this I only ever see him once a week and really also only call once or twice a week. While I would like more I've accepted that this is his schedule. He also always goes away on work trips for weeks on end which I've had to get used to. It's especially tough right now because I want a lot more out of the relationship than I get but I can understand that he needs to work this hard and he does have these great career opportunities that I would never want to hold him back on. But the main issue is that he wants to keep working this hard, even harder, partly to support his future and his family, but also partly because it's his career goal to become extremely successful with his own company and retire early when he can finally relax. As hard as it is not being with him much I want to support his career journey, but I also do feel like by the time we aim to get married, I want him to settle down, work more normal hours and just be able to actually spend evenings with him literally just doing things like cooking dinner together or having games nights. But with his career goals this is unlikely as he probably won't be able to reach this stage until mid/late 30s. I know that that is his dream, but I also don't want to be alone in the marriage. I know he says he'll try his best to give me time but realistically with what I'm experiencing now in the relationship I don't think is realistic. I just wanted to write this to explain my thoughts and see if anyone who's gone through similar situations has any advice on what to do. I don't want to break up with him as he is a big part of my life but I worry I am going to end up resenting him by not prioritizing time with me. I can't tell if I need to let go more and be more supportive or if what I'm asking is reasonable.

Sounds like you already know it’s over. You want different futures. Do you have a better option?


Context: Girlfriend and I are both attending the same school where we met at the start of last quarter. We have been together about 4 months. Over the summer, I left to go back home, and she stayed up at school, which is about 3 hours from me. Before I left, we agreed to stay exclusive to one and other, while also agreeing to visit one and other as often as possible. My Girlfriend called me yesterday and asked if we could go on a no-contact no-commitment break over the summer because she has too much going on with work and other personal things. This seemed very out of the blue, and I wasn’t very interested in having much of a conversation about it because I was so caught off guard. I texted her afterwards apologizing for my lack of communication, and asked if we could have another conversation about it. I am fine with going on a break if that’s what she needs, but I am not okay with both of us seeing other people for two months, and then getting back together in the fall like it didn’t happen. Would it be unreasonable of me to request that we remain committed to eachother despite being on a break? Any other advice/opinions on the matter are also appreciated, i’m feeling a bit lost. I like this girl a lot, and I want this to last.

Bruh she wants to fuck other people let’s use some common sense. Break up and move on. She won't respect the exclusivity deal anyway


Hi, My Girlfriend was just told by her friend’s boyfriend that he is proposing in a few weeks. We currently have a trip from Denver - Chicago a trip from Denver - Philly a trip from Denver - St Louis and a trip from Denver - Vegas . As you see the only weekend that is open for the next 5 weekends is now the weekend her friend is getting proposed to. I am friends with these two people but not nearly as close as my GF is. I feel like this is a situation where she should be going by herself as she wants to go & and I should not feel guilty for not going. She says “If it’s somewhere you would want me to go, I would go” and it makes me feel guilty. I feel like a bad BF if I do not go, but I truly do not want to with all these other weekends traveling. What is the healthy way to deal with this situation?

The level of traveling you're planning already is going to be exhausting, and our bodies need rest. And if we don't give it to ourselves, it will force us to stop- by getting sick. If you don't want to go, it may be an indication that you need rest. Maybe instead of saying you don't want to go, you could reframe it as you can't go because you already planned to rest and recover that weekend. Just communicate. Let her know you do care about her, but you're traveling SO much more than usual during this period that you just need a break. Her wants and needs aren't the only ones that matter in your relationship, and there needs to be some give and take. If she can't accept that, then it's something the two of you need to discuss about compatibility in your relationship in general. Needing one weekend of five to unwind and relax at home is a perfectly normal and healthy request. That doesn't mean she has to stay home too, but you don't have to be joined at the hip at all times when your wants and needs differ occasionally.


I have been with my boyfriend for a year. My father is a pastor and he can hear from God. When my dad first met my boyfriend, he said that God told him that I needed to leave him alone because he would be dangerous and hurt me. Although my boyfriend is much taller than me and bigger than me, he has NEVER shown any signs of being hurtful and has never put me in danger, much in fact that he is very hesitant about being physically close to me because of the fear of hurting me. My boyfriend has also been very supportive while I'm in school, offering to help me pay for books, getting me better food, and driving over three hours just to visit me on the weekends. I went to see my boyfriend yesterday and my father says that God will severely punish me for not listening. I don't want to disobey God but my boyfriend is the total opposite of how my father describes him. I don't want to leave and hurt my boyfriend for this, as my boyfriend has had a not so good life and believes that God dislikes him. I am struggling with my head and my heart. I don't want to lose my boyfriend but I also don't want to disobey God longer. Part of me feels that God will bring my boyfriend back into my life if I let him go but I am not certain about it, which further scares me. Any advice would help a lot. Thank you

your father hears nothing at all. he just uses and abuses the name and word of God in order to control you. don't let him fool you. it is your decision which person you choose as boyfriend not his Ask yourself, between your boyfriend and God, who drove three hours to visit you? Did God or your boyfriend shell out for books? It sounds like you possibly have a very nice boyfriend, but your upbringing is making you question the facts before your eyes. Honestly, you are 19, you have a plenty of time to sort through your feelings and figure out what is best for you.


I got out of a long term relationship with a highschool partner several months ago. I've been hitting it off with a guy I met on a dating app but I never know what to suggest for dates even though I really want to spend more time with him. My go to is usually billiards because I like to play a game while talking- it takes a lot of pressure off me. He's not a fan though. We've gone for food and for walks around the city or at parks. I want to change things up a bit though. I'm out of ideas because he's not super into "slower" game dates such as 2 player board/card games. The date idea does not need to involve a game though.

i could only come up with game-like things: bowling, trivia/bingo, mini golf, escape room ?? Go to some cultural events, like an art exhibition or some shit. So you could talk to him while pretending to like crappy painting and look cultured. A lot of peoples do that...


I have been on 2 dates with a guy who has an eyebrow piercing. We met on a dating app & the piercing is not visible in any of the pics on his profile . I’m really not into piercings on men & do not match with guys who have them. When he showed up with one on our first date, I immediately thought this was a no but continued the date to not be rude. Anyways, we’ve really hit it off and have had 2 6+ hour dates. However, I still can’t see myself dating a guy with a piercing long term . Should I just cut things off now since it’s so early or should I continue & maybe ask if he’d be open to removing it if we ever get to the relationship phase? If I cut things off, do I mention the piercing as a reason? If I continue & then ask about him removing it as we start to get more serious, when is the right time to do that? I’ve never asked a partner to change anything about their appearance and don’t really feel that it’s fair, but this feels more fixable than most things which is why I’m wondering if talking about it makes sense. TLDR: Newly dating a man with a piercing . Break things off or ask if he’d be open to removing it? Edit: Thank you all for the advice! I’ve decided to just break things off with him. I think you all are right that if I was super into him it wouldn’t be an issue. And he deserves someone who is super into him just the way he is

Break it off because if a little piece of metal in his eyebrow bothers you that much then you don't like him. Don't waste his time Break it off. He isn't your type. You can't ask someone to change their appearance or themselves. Lol or ask and see if he just leaves you first.


Anytime there's a minor inconvenience in his life, he tends to cope through food. It annoys me and it worries me. He has several lifestyle related health issues like diabetes, cholesterol and high BP. He usually binges on fried junk food. He also has a soft spot for rice and eats a lot of it. Most of his meals are very rice heavy which is not got for disbetes. We don't have healthy communication in the family. I believe he has several unresolved issues but he refuses to go for therapy. He generally gets very defensive when anyone points out any flaw of his. How can I bring up delicately and respectfully?

You don't need to bring it up. He should get medical and nutritional advice from his doctors. He is an adult and can make his own choices to follow that advice or not. I know this isn't the answer u want but I'm not really sure what u can do. You can try talking to him and telling him your concerns but he's an adult whose going to do what he's going to do.


My bf and I have been together for almost a year. We’ve had our communication-spats, but we’ve been so into each other that we’ve worked through them. For the most part. We have one difference that honestly shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but it’s become one of our biggest hurdles. We don’t live together yet. And naturally a lot of sleepovers happen. 90% of the time it runs smoothly. The last 10% though… I’m a bit of a rule-follower. I like structure. So when we agree to do sleepovers, I go very far to keep those plans intact. Because we made plans together. He, however, is a little more laid back. Those 10% of the time- he cancels. And I don’t mean a day or so in advance. He’ll sometimes cancel 20 minutes after we agreed to meet. He tries to make new plans immediately, but I get mad, of course. I tried to talk to him about it, and said it made me super uncomfortable, that he couldn’t at least cancel some time ahead. It’s stressful and makes me feel insecure. He says that usually it happens because he is way too tired and don’t want to disappoint me because he won’t be able to be that present in our time spend together. And that he values relations where we can say no, when one of us isn’t up for meeting. It hurt me when he said it like that. Because of course I want him to be able to cancel if he’s not up for meeting. But I’m not okay with getting all excited to see him to then be disappointed at the last minute. With the way he said this, I’m not sure I’m being too demanding. Any one have any experience similar to this? Thanks in advance.

Shit happens who cares if he cancels? Things come up, moods change, shit happens. U get mad? For canceling? Holy shit what a crazy overreaction. He's allowed to be tired. Honestly if my partner acted the way u did after I canceled cause I didn't feel up to it I'd break up with her. It hurt u that he expressed an opinion he had? Which is a very normal and healthy opinion. You should be able to cancel if ur not up for it. U 100% are being to demanding. Unless there was some kind of plan with unrefundable tickets or reservations, I honestly don’t understand why you’d be so upset about canceling a hangout where there was nothing planned. Especially when it’s not happening frequently. Self care is important and if he’s tired and just wants to stay home, that makes sense to me. 🤷♀ How often are these sleepovers? How far of a drive is it? What are the expectations when you have one? I dunno, when I was dating my partner and we didn’t live together, we usually got together 1-2 times a week and they were always sleepovers and usually at his house which was a 30 min drive for me. Sometimes after a long day at work with an early morning start, I just didn’t feel like it. Not that I didn’t want to see him but I needed the rest more.


Sorry in advance if this is all over the place. Also when I mention summer its when school ended for my son. My husband and I have been married for 8 years. So I have been to quite a lot of his family events and his to mine. For the past 3 years in the summer, because we live about 2 hours away from family. I would take the children to his family events while he works as well as mine. I am also a stay at home mom , so regardless the children are always with me. This week I just took our children to his older sisters house for a pool party, and she invited us back for a 4th of July party. All of which my husband was working or will be working. Ive known his family for so long, if Im not tired I go because I enjoy hanging out with them too. This summer his youngest brother is having a birthday party along with his son and he invited us. I told him I am all partied out can he take the children this time by his self. His first response is to say, "You see, this is why I don't invite you to go places with me. Whenever I want you to go to my family with me , its a no." This summer alone, we have been to both his niece and nephew graduations together. I have been to two of his sisters pool parties and the summer just began. After arguing, I feel for no reason. The point he was trying to make is this brother that invited us usually doesn't throw parties and it could be a time for "us" to hang out. My point is , realistically he is going to leave us by going for a "walk" as he always do and I won't probably see him again until its time to clean up. So the whole time I will have to keep an eye on my children and one of them is a toddler, so I will be with a child all night. Which brought me back to my first response of "Can you take them instead?". I feel like he is trying to guilt trip me into going.

Is there a reason you can't communicate your concerns? You guys have been married 8 years. This is the sort of problem that is easily resolved by healthy communication and compromise. He wants to go, you don't want to get stuck with the kids. Easy middle ground is to just go but he be in charge of the kids. I think you make a deal with him .... You go this time, but you are going to pass on a couple of upcoming events. And, if he goes for a walk and you don't see him again until the end, he loses the right to complain if you decide not to go in the future. If you don't like that idea, maybe ask him if he intends to watch the children so you can have fun, too.


My partner was logged into his “work” instagram and got a message from a new coworker saying “hope to see you are the office”. He said the same back and then added “dig your vibe :)” and then deleted the entire conversation between the two of them. He does not delete other conversations. I am upset feeling like there were flirty undertones and ulterior motives and that he deleted the messages for a reason- because they weren’t appropriate. He claims he doesn’t have any interest and “thought she was a lesbian” so there was no issue with sending “dig your vibe :)” Is it overreacting to feel like this was dishonest and not trustworthy behavior, or was he being shady by being flirty and deleting it?

Yes, this is trust breaker. - He is willing to flirt with other people. - He is willing to lie to you. - He is willing to say shift blame to you instead of taking accountability for being shady. - He lacks accountability. Yea this crosses a line. U don't delete messages u don't feel bad about.


I was eating ice cream with a girl two days ago. Everything went well and we talked. There was no body contact. In 4 days we will go to the cinema and I don't know if it would be too much for my arm in the cinema to put her or later when we go for a walk to take her hand. Can someone give me some advice? BTW, I'm writing this with a translator

see how she acts or behaves. if shes closed off then dont.. if she seems to be enjoying herself then go for it. dont force if she does not seem receptive This is so sweet. If you can’t tell if she wants to, it’s always okay to ask. If she says no, try not to be too visibly disappointed or pressure her. She may want to another time.


Is it a dick move? Did I do something here that stands out? I'm trying to let this guy know that yea, I am indeed upset and and he fucked up. We go to the same gym, it's a 24/hour place but haven't ever crossed each other until now. Right before this just happened, we argued and officially broked it off by me telling him he's 1. On my shit list and 2. Fuck him. I saw his truck in the parking lot when I was at the gym, so I put his stuffed animal he gave me on his truck bed. Would he care? Is this a shitty thing to do to someone? If I'm being fr, I don't want to break it off. I just wanted to be treated differently I guess. Idk I broke it off because I've been doing everything for him. I drive out to him and always am paying, always going the 3xtra mile etc. Idc much about the money, but I make incomparably less than he does. But he does nothing for me, and doesn't realize this. I paid for a trip to Vegas and pay for dinner etc etc. Truly, though, I don't care that much about the paying for things. It's that I'm not being used it what it feels like. We actually broke it off a while ago and we're in this weird friendship thing... but he continually asked for sex even though I told him no, and how it made me feel used. So yea I just told him to fuck off and gave his thing back. Idk what do yall think?

if you want to get his attention and get back with him then yes giving him that gift back shows that he’s still on your mind. If you truly want things to end, cut all contact don’t show him an ounce of it and stop giving him his gifts back 1. Do whatever makes you feel best. If getting rid of a gift makes you feel better, do that. If keeping it makes you feel better, do that. But don’t base your decision with the hope of making *him* feel something. Because.. 2. No, people in situationships generally don’t care if you give a gift back or not. If your decisions had any effect on them, they wouldn’t have treated you so carelessly in the first place. They didn’t care when you were seeing each other. They don’t care now.


I [38] have a female friend [36] who I've been developing feelings for the last few months. I seriously thought she was too, especially a few weeks ago when we were hanging out and she started being very physical affectionate in a way she hasn't ever been before - she sneaked up and kissed me on the cheek when we met, cuddled up very closely and intimately with me while we were laying in the park, held hands with me as we walked, and encouraged me to cuddle her some more when we stopped walking to admire a view. I had thought that was going great, but then she very suddenly stopped and went cold, and when I told her next day about my feelings she said she didn't feel the same. She said her affection was only platonic and she was irritated that I'd 'misinterpreted' it. I was pretty hurt and confused, and said I wanted to talk more about where we stand going forward. She said she was stressed and needed a few days to process things. That was a month ago, and she's been silent since. We used to message multiple times every day, but she stopped completely, other than a brief spurt of messaging a couple weeks ago as if everything was normal, which stopped again as suddenly as it started. I was planning on cutting her off completely, but then all of a sudden, early this morning, she messaged again. She sent me a link to an upbeat song about love in one of her spotify playlists, saying it was to give me energy for the week. Should I even bother responding? Should I mention the silence, or previous events? Really not sure what to do here.

It is odd how she made it seem like it was something more than a platonic friendship. I myself am a very touchy person with my friends . I can relate to holding hands but I have never kissed my friends on the cheek nor have cuddled?? It's like she intentionally wanted you to have feelings for her and wanted to "test the waters" without needing an exact talk about it. And hypothetically made up in her mind that she wasn't feeling you. Honestly just my speculation on it, of course I could be totally wrong but that's just me. For what you should do, you could either not waste your time with this girl anymore or if you really want to find out more or have a sense of closure, be straight up and ask. If she completely ghosts it and never texts again, you have your answer. If she actually does respond, you'll see where that goes. Hmm maybe she's an emotionally avoidant person, who's afraid of showing and responding to affection. She do like u and the day u went to hang out in the park her harmonies conquered her fear but when she got ur messages and didn't know how to react so she chose the worst way---rej and pretend to be cool. IDK this is a toxic assumption.


Hey everyone! I just recently joined dating apps and have talked to three guys seriously so far. The first two were nice and we went on dates and it was good but with the third guy we’ve only texted so far but it feels different somehow, like this is how it’s supposed to feel. We haven’t even been in our date yet and I feel like I’m already head over heels. Is this a bad things? I’m not gonna tell him “I love you” super early or rush to make it official but I think we both fall quickly and fall hard so I’m worried for some reason? We’ve talked about it just a little and said that these feelings of attachment usually last beyond a “honeymoon” phase so I’m hoping that isn’t an issue but something still feels too good to be true. Is it bad we’re both so into each other already? We haven’t talked about anything crazy like marriage or kids but we’ve talked for hours every day and are pretty flirty even though it’s only been a few days. Should I even be worried about this? I’m hoping the date goes well tomorrow and that the chemistry over the phone translates in person. Is there anything I should watch out for or be cautious of? Any thoughts are appreciated!!!

Have a good time on your date. Sounds like you're excited, just remember to not let anything you don't want to happen too soon. People can be very different in person. Just approach your date with an open mind. If it feels more awkward than over the phone, that might not necessarily be a sign that you’re not well suited for each other.


I’ve never been on a drink date so I’m curious what the etiquette is. Im talking something light not a full course. Reason being, I don’t see myself going out for water or juice/mocktails and I don’t drink alcohol or coffee…plus the drinks are the most expensive things on the menu.

Pay for yourself and you can do what you want. I like tapas on a date. Why go on a drinks date if you’re not drinking? I would counter with another date idea, it makes zero sense to specifically go out for drinks when you don’t drink alcohol or coffee when you could just literally do anything else.


I’m dating he has this thing which I find very strange this is my first ever serious relationship he tends to be very rough in a playful way but when I do the same thing he tells me I’m aggressive if we’re watching a movie he goes on his phone is completely fine but if I do it an argument happens he opens the bathroom door without knocking he thinks it’s okay because we’re dating how do I fix this?

You aren't going to like this answer. You are a teenager dating an adult. There is a reason he isn't able to date people his own age. When you are 24 you aren't likely to put up with the kind of shit he is putting you through. . It's best to learn the lesson now and not over commit. Everything he does is classic of a abusive manipulator. Things will only get worse from here. I totally get why you would discount this advice right now but please keep a close eye on how things are progressing and think about it deeply and carefully. Why should you allow double-standards to exist in your relationships. Do you not deserve better? The age gap is too big at this stage in life. You are barely an adult and he sounds like a toxic manipulator taking advantage of that. It might be hard now but try to leave for your own good. You deserve better


Okay, so I have a thing for my girlfriend's feet . I mean, I just find them beautiful and interesting, but I feel ashamed of that because when we discussed some kinks, she told me that people who like feet gross her out . And I'm going to be honest, okay? I'm not a full-on feet guy; I just like hers, and I don't know why. I don't want to go into details. Anyway, I've kept that inside myself for 6 whole years. By the way, everything is great here. We have a healthy relationship and a healthy sex life, but I feel an urge to tell her about my "kink." However, I'm still afraid , and I don't know what to do, so I came here for advice. What do you think I should do? How should I approach this... Edit - also sorry for my english.

Just tell her what you told us: You think she has beautiful feet and you're not going to worship them, to lick them or to use these as anal plugs :) If you’re having this much shame telling your gf about her feet obviously it’s probably a little more explicit than you let on. Kinks are forbidden or taboo things that may be turnoffs for some people. Just talk to her. If you word it to explain that it’s only her feet that make you feel this way maybe it will be easier to digest. If not it’s respectable and you can move on.


Me and my ex met on dating app. I've just got out of a 3-year relationship 3 months ago. Although I hate to admit, my initial intentions to download the dating app was to have some fun. Then I matched with this guy, which is my ex. He said that he wanted to date to marry. He seemed super sincere, after matching with me and asking for a chance to get to know each other, he removed all of the previous matches. He took me on our 1st date, he was humble, kind and truthful, the way he talk about himself, his family, and his career made me believe that he was the best green flag I had ever met. I was treated like a princess, and then he asked me to be his girlfriend. After the date, we got closer, we talked about daily life things and also mentioned about intimacy. On our 2nd date, we both agreed to have sex for the first time. Everything was great. From that day on, he did text me like usual, but the amount of messages decreased, he also complained with me that he had a lot of work to do , it took him some hours to reply messages lol, sometimes even fell asleep while texting 😂 I realized that I had developed feelings for him, but couldn't get the same attention from him, I knew I messed it up this time 😂. I decided to stop this relationship before it's too late. I texted him to explain that I wanted to stop because the lack of time we had for each other, and he said that he was in shock, but still respect my opinion. Have you ever been through the same situation? I want to hear from you.

I’m an atheist, I believe in sex after marriage. It’s not exactly his fault. Guys have less respect for you after you have sex. It happens all the time. It sounds like you didn’t even talk to him or try to save the relationship before dumping him. I think this is, to say the least, irresponsible. How are you going to last in a marriage in the future, if you can’t bring these issues to him in the first place? Atleast brings these concerns to him before dumping him? Unless, of course, you didn’t want marriage. Then I’d question why you dated in the first place Even though you both agreed, the toxic mindset that men have is that if she did it with that quick then she did it with everybody. Basically you’re easy. This is why I believe if you’re ever going to have sex with a guy thats not your partner, you have to be okay with the possibility of him ghosting you the next day. So what it comes down to make sure you really want just sex. I had guys use me for sex and try to play me. When you get older and date more you catch on and realize waiting is worth it.


I have been talking to this guy for a few weeks now and the situation is straight up something I can’t believe is happening to me. We met on a dating app. When I first saw his profile, I was like this guy is a model it has to be someone catfishing with his pics. He’s as tall, dark, and handsome as it gets. I told myself what the hell and took the chance to match with him anyway. We end up on FaceTime and I’m like holyyy shiiii he’s real. We keep talking and add each other on social media. He has thousands of followers. He’s a soon to be doctor, a former professional athlete, and has a ton of friends. I on the other hand have less than 200 followers, hardly post, and a very small social circle. He’s always out and I’m a homebody. We’ve gone on a few dates now and he’s still showing so much interest. He’s been nothing but sweet, kind, and respectful. Always texting me, calling, planning dates, and respecting my boundaries around intimacy. I really like his personality too. I thought I wouldn’t because I despise all social media and he has quite a social media image, but he’s so much more deep than what his pictures portray. I never once mentioned this to him, but I have no idea why he’s supposedly so interested in me. I’m objectively not as attractive or social as him. I’d say I’m cute, have a pretty fit body, and also a doctor, but it’s nothing compared to the girls following him. I know people stare at us when we walk down the street together. They probably thinking wtf why is someone so hot with her??? I see myself sabotaging this in the future. I never once mentioned how I feel or ask why me. But it just feels too good to be true to me. Do I talk to him about the obvious?

Maybe it's not as obvious as you think. Just roll with it. He might be looking for something real. He's probably got more to him than looks. I’ve seen a ton of happy couples in a similar situation like yours. Chill out and don’t sabotage yourself. Also don’t tell him this stuff! You are doing great


I came out of a LTR about 2-3 months ago and recently started dating again. I met someone on Bumble and we went out on a date which turned into spending the day together. By the end of the day I'd seen some behaviors which I wouldn't want in a new LTR and so very transparently and nicely said I don't think I'd want a LTR however am happy to be friends / casually date. We went out on a second date and I noticed her saying something like "you won't find someone as cool as me or as fun as me / another me" and recently she sent a meme to me which says "Sorry for being so beautiful, fun and intelligent" with like hearts and a unicorn in the background. She's a bit eccentric which is cool but I'm really not sure what's going on with this theme of talking about herself and praising herself and I don't know what to say / do when she says / sends these things. It's a bit concerning. Aside from this theme, she's pretty nice and cool to be around. And said on the first that that she would also like to keep things casual. That said, how do I navigate these kinds of messages?

She seems to have taken your rejection as a challenge to change your mind. Everyone loves a good chase! The initial situation is very weird. Your first date went so well that it lasted a whole day? That is some real good chemistry and very discordant with your statement this isn't going to last long term. You sent some very mixed signals. I can't say I blame them for trying to change your mind. After the "kind offer" by you to date casually? That might be very frank and practical, but could also be taken as a jerk statement. For a man to say some variation of, "We can hang and fuck if you want to, but so you know, we aren't going to be together for ever." shows a lot more big D energy and han I've ever had. Maybe I am just jealous, but comes of as an ass to me. And I wish people would give up on finding friends on dating apps. You can be friends with a ex. You can't be friends with some one you met explicitly to date. These real weak have it anyway you want it stances are taken as mixed messaging at best, or worst given how much time you've wasted of someone else


I'm a very sweet and affecionate person. Constantly get told as much by women I match with. But the thing is when I'm affecionate or sweet it doesn't work out. Just wondering why that is and if I should stop it.

I personally love when a man is affectionate. But physical touch is one of my love languages I love it, if they're affectionate but not suffocating


I have been in relationship for 26 months with my boyfriend . The religion has not been a big problem for us until recently, during the past Ramadan my boyfriend complained of feeling lonely. We would go to the mosque together for Taraweeh, but I would remain in the car because I am a christian. He said felt lonely and craved the companionship of praying together and being in unison with each other's beliefs. He also said we should break up because I want to gain financial stability before settling down and he wants to settle down now, and we already decided that once settled down, we would take on traditional roles which I really don't have a problem with. I have begged him so many times that we shoukd go ahead and be together because I feel like there's no compromise I wouldn't make to be with him but he said it's unfair to me. I asked him to wait for 18 months so that I can gain financial stability but he said it feels unfair to him. I really do not want to lose my man because he is my everything and I am more than content with him I recently said somethings that made him mad at me and he isn't talking to me now i am really hurting because I miss him and I don't want to feel abandoned again

NO, OP.. you're correct. Do you want to attain financial stability beforehamd which is understandable. This doesn't even have to do anything with religion, it's common sense! With the high rate of divorce of today's modern world, yeah, you don't want to be left on the street with no career and no income. He can't wait 18 months? Does it necessarily have to take you 18 months to get this? Many many red flags. You are way too different. It was fun for a time, now it’s time to move on. 1. Not aligned on finances. 2. Not aligned on religion. 3. One person rushing to lock the other down. Hmmmm, I wonder what the future holds for you if you get married….. I know its hard because you are in the think of this situation and emotional. Outsiders perspective, leave now, be respectful but it’s time to move on.


I have done a bit of thinking and have somewhat formulated my opinion but I figure I should get some other thoughts before I make a decision. So I met this girl who's 19. She is super nice and we sorta became friends. I thought it was platonic and had zero intentions of changing that just because I thought our age and careers were at different points. I get along really well with her and even remember I wished I could meet a girl like her but I again did not intend on asking her out. Looking back there was maybe signs she liked me but I thought that was just who she was. Anyways, she asked for my number and we've been been talking alot lately. She is a sweetheart of a person. My problem is I feel so much older than her especially at this age range. If she were 30 and I were 37 I wouldn't really think twice. But 19 is just so young. I feel like a cradle robber even though she asked me and I haven't initiated anything yet. Relationship wise we are maybe closer in years. I've been single a long time and haven't dated just because I've been focusing on my personal and professional life. I honestly think she has more relationship experience than I do. I would say she is mature for her age but god that just sounds like creepy justification. I like the girl, and we get along. I just feel like I'm taking advantage of someone who is too young . At this point I'm leaning to somehow terminating whatever is happening. Before I do I want to see if any of you think I'm doing this prematurely. Should I let it play out a bit longer and see if it fizzles on its own? Assuming the consensus is to end it do you all have any idea how to let her down gently? She's a super nice person and it was ballsy of her to ask for my number so I don't want to hurt her and like I said I really don't have much experience in the relationship realm. Thanks

19. Just two years ago she was underage I would find it difficult to handle all the criticism and comments. I'm in am age gap relationship but I'm 29. 18 feels like a completely different person as opposed to someone in their late 20s. You can just say you think it's best that you stay friends because of the age difference. You're too old for her. She still has a lot of growing up to do. Let her enjoy being young with people her own age. If you step in and start a serious relationship, she's going to have to grow up too fast to catch up to you. Or you're going to be annoyed when she's still doing teenie-bopper shit and making poor decisions . Go find someone your own age.


I'm 37 and she's 35, together for a bit over 2 years, living together. Recently she was showing me something on instagram that someone DMed her. While looking for it in her messages, I noticed a name of a guy I haven't heard about. Asked who that was and she said it's her colleague from work. She said they just send each other some funny reels from time to time. She opened the chat with him and quickly scrolled through to show me. While doing that I noticed some text exchange and asked if she can pause. She did and what I saw really surprised me - the guy said they should go for a beer/whisky catch up - to which she responded that it's necessary and she will let him know. She claims that she didn't have an intention of going out with him but she didn't know how to respond. Also states that the guy is older and has a wife and kids. She also mentioned that they went out a few times with her two other girlfriends from work and him. She says that this guy didn't have any other intentions than just to catch up. While I want to believe what she is saying, it also doesn't feel entirely right. Any tips how I should interpret and handle this situation? Thanks!

Attention seekers potential cheaters. Open your eyes Really depends on context. Worse case scenario, she's a cheater that likes cheap attention and it's better you found out early. Best case scenario, she's a helluva great girlfriend that is trustworthy and upfront with you seeing as how she treated the other guy like any other female coworker. I myself, as a straight male, always forget that some people read too much into things and I've a bad habit of seeing if a friend wants to "go out for drinks" and yes, I know their drink of choice just because I'm a good friend. Chances are its the latter.