id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
IXntPfSJVTEDqyxFPRn1mnRIgrqmKpOI | awjjaz | {
"description": "not wanting to help my girlfriend with her dog's vet bills",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for not wanting to help my girlfriend with her dog’s vet bills? | My girlfriend(f 33)has had her dog for 10 years and he predates our relationship. She loves this dog very much and it helped her through some tough times. He needs a very expensive surgery that she can’t afford. She lives with her mom in an apartment and is $65,000 in debt from school. I(M 27) on the other hand live for free in a house my dad owns and since my parents payed for my school I graduated with no debt. She’s asked to move in so that her dog has a large yard to play in but when I asked my dad he told me he doesn’t want her on his property.
She works at a supermarket and I work at my family’s company making close to will eventually make 6 figures. I make a substantial amount more than her and have almost no expenses aside from groceries and utilities and could easily pay for the surgery. The only problem is that I’ve been saving money for a new car and I trip to Europe I’m planning to take with friends from school. My girlfriend has become very depressed the past couple of weeks because her dog might be dying. My dad could give me the money but I hate asking him for things. Am I the asshole for not prioritizing this dog’s life? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
9BpsmjP5qclDCmW2h2OSfSXIMehWpQBl | a8v8wm | {
"description": "not getting a Christmas gift for my partners sister since she never reciprocates",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not getting a Christmas gift for my partners sister since she never reciprocates? | My partner and I have been together approx 4 years. Her sister is 22, though my partner treats her like she is 17 (coddles her a lot!). For two Christmases and two birthdays, I have given her sister a gift. Really thoughtful gifts that I spent a lot of time considering, shopping around, trying to find something she would really like. First Christmas I didn’t receive anything back, which is whatever. Second Christmas (and birthdays) I also didn’t receive anything back, which felt kinda bad.
This Christmas I just didn’t buy anything. Though I understand the point of giving a gift is not to receive one back, it just feels super shitty that I spend all of this time thinking about her sisters likes/hobbies/tastes, and she doesn’t offer even a token gesture back. Like I’d be happy with a keychain - at least some thought was there.
Additionally she’s never even thanked me for gifts. I have to send gifts with my partner as we spend Christmas separately. If I get a gift from someone who isn’t present, I will immediately message them with thanks and occasionally a photo of the item or the item in use. Idk, just seems polite. But I haven’t had that courtesy back - she just takes the gift and says nothing to me about it.
I’m unsure whether this makes me the asshole or not. I feel like my partner thinks I’m a little bit of an asshole but hasn’t told me to get anything, and seems to understand on some level my reasoning of it just feeling shit to not be a thought. I did get gifts for my partners parents, as they began to reciprocate last Christmas.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
2sIbcoVb4Ns2xxX67Xte0KizCPIElnkE | a6jy3h | {
"description": "wanting my disabled new boss to get fired",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For wanting my disabled new boss to get fired? | I work for a pretty small retailer. And when I say small retailer I mean the size of the stores themselves and not the chain. Each store has less than 20 people on its payroll, and I’m one of four managers who can open and close the store each day. Our old store manager left and my coworker *Zack* and I have been taking care of all administrative work around the store, handling customer complaints, scheduling etc,. We’ve been doing pretty well but recently we got our new store manager. He used to work for our company but has been out for several years due to a work-related injury. He’s been here for a month and during that time he’s been late almost every single day (and not by a few minutes, we’re talking at least one hour) and always has a different excuse, he takes half an hour bathroom breaks regularly, and he’s gruff with our customers. He is overweight and has trouble maneuvering due to his injury, but his position requires a lot of lifting and moving about quickly. Now he is scheduled for 10 minute breaks every 2 hrs, and that’s fine, but he always takes much more time than he is scheduled for, often leaving our less experienced staff members to handle the holiday crowds alone. He also won’t accomplish all the opening tasks because he arrives too late to finish at the pace he moves. I really want to bring it up with someone above him but I know it’s not my place. Zack doesn’t even seem to care that our store has gone downhill ever since the new store manager came onboard. Am I the asshole for wanting him to leave even though I know about his injury? Or is it reasonable??? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ZN0MrhRVWa5EMwzFHv1eMYAKoT6JfdSn | acw2lh | {
"description": "being upset when my husband did coke without telling me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset when my husband did coke without telling me. | My husband bought and did coke at a party without telling me, he casually mentioned it a few weeks later and tbh I was pretty pissed off about it... he knew I’d be hella pissed if I found out he never told me at all but by telling me later, I couldn’t say much because it was over and done and nothing bad happened. I didn’t start a fight when he told me because I don’t want him to use me ‘over reacting’ as an excuse not to tell me shit... I did ask him not to do coke again and he promised never again but tbh I don’t trust him now. He drinks socially and vapes but that’s all. Did I have a right to be pissed off? We have two kids but he didn’t do it at home and he knew he wouldn’t be back until the next day anyway so maybe that’s irrelevant. Do I have a right to be upset that he didn’t tell me before he did coke or does being his wife not give me the right to a say in what he does outside our home? (Obviously excluding breaking the expectations of a marriage)
Resubmitted to include AITA in the title and slightly reworded in the interest of being neutral and fair. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ad4SKyac1vN1ek5iBbX4fO6tXDpaL49t | ajufc6 | {
"description": "expecting the customer to pay for both of the beverages after they asked for a remake",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA to expect the customer to pay for both of the beverages after they asked for a remake | The customer ordered a beverage that’s on the menu but they wanted to personalize it and add some mint flavor in it. But after they tasted it, they said it’s too “minty” and asked for a remake with less of the mint. AITA to expect the customer to pay for both? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
7qZ6hwYAGiBLPnGq5vWRhotwVEmQYToc | a4s0of | {
"description": "not wanting to participate in Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to participate in Christmas? | It’s been a piece of shit year. My husband (8 years together and 2 kids later) and I separated in September this year and the list goes on for a while. I have my 2 kids half the year and it hurts me more and more as the holiday gets closer.
Regardless of what else, I’ve had a shitty year and I’d be happy if I woke up tomorrow and it was January 2019.
I have stressed to my family I just want to see my kids in the morning, do Santa and their presents before they go to their dads house for the evening. Then I want to forget the day exists, my plan is to get drunk and paint my bedroom walls.
My mum keeps asking me what I’m doing and if I’ll drive to see them (4hrs away) or if they can come to me. I’ve stressed no. And she continues to ask me every couple of days if I’ve changed my plans.
She messages every day without fail. Always has. I’m 25...
To the point I’ve had to crumble and agree to see her and dad on the 22nd.
I spent my ex’s birthday in the bathroom toilet at work crying, I can’t imagine Christmas will be any different, if not worse. I don’t exactly want to have to force a smile for them or worse bring them down with me.
I know their intentions are good and they want me to be with family.
My friend had a Christmas party which I declined to go for a couple reasons, mainly because I had my kids that weekend and I wanted to have the quality time with them, another because it’s Christmas and the thought of going without my ex made me cry.
One friend even made a crack that I’m being too over the top and need to just celebrate it and go along. I refused.
People at work are aware I’ve split from my husband and that I’m having a shit time. I’ve said I’m doing the minimum for Christmas. They attempted to decorate my desk and I said no thanks.
Usually I’m all for it, but this year I just can’t see the joy. My family is crumbled and whilst I’m thankful I still have my kids and for everything good that has happened I just feel this year I’m not ready for the over the top festivities that is Christmas..
Am I the asshole for banning Christmas this year? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
55NkvQbJaGDu091iFk2xtgKzmttQjNcy | ari8sz | {
"description": "sending mixed signals",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for sending mixed signals? | I'm just going to type this whole thing out as it happened, sorry if it gets long or convoluted. This happened about a year ago but for some reason I've been dwelling on it for the last week or so and I feel like revisiting it may help?
​
Last year (almost to the day now that I think about it) I \[24f\] went out for drinks with Jeff \[25m\], one of my best friends. Our friend Annie \[22f\] also joined us. Annie and I used to flirt a lot whenever she was in town but she's been in a monogamous relationship forever so I was always careful never to cross a boundary of her relationship. Jeff and I were on-and-off for a few years but haven't been anything other than friends for a long time.
​
We drank, I got very drunk off my three cocktails because I'm a lightweight, and while we were at the second bar Annie kissed me, which was surprising because of the whole boyfriend aspect but I was too drunk to think it through and we made out for a bit. Then she went to the bathroom and Jeff unexpectedly kissed me, which was more shocking because I thought we were completely passed being involved but I brushed it off as "we're all drunk, kissing is fun, it's not a big deal." It honestly didn't occur to me that he might still be attracted to me, and I feel really stupid now for brushing it off like that.
​
Annie came back and I went to get a glass of water because I felt like I'd reached my drinking limit and when I came back they straight-up propositioned me for a threesome. I knew I wasn't interested but I think I got nervous so instead of being blunt I made up excuses...I think one of them was that I couldn't have sex because I had to go home and take out the trash. They said they didn't care and were willing to work around all the reasons I couldn't, I started to feel overwhelmed and told them I had to use the bathroom. I ran away and locked myself in the bar's bathroom for a minute to just think about what to do but I think around that time that last drink Annie had bought me was starting to hit...it's all a bit fuzzy here on out.
​
I remember opening the door to the bathroom and both of them were right outside the door waiting for me. One of them put my coat over me and the other said they'd called an Uber to go back to my place. I remember Annie talking to me in the car on the way there and I could barely keep up with what she was saying but I don't think she realized how drunk I was. Somehow we got back to my apartment and I remember thinking I'd go along with it for now and maybe I'd get into it. So I let them undress me and we all got into my bed. Suddenly I heard a "polite" cough on the other side of the wall and realized my neighbor could hear everything we were doing. I got really embarrassed and tried to stop the threesome but Annie started kicking the wall and laughing while Jeff kept me from getting out of the bed, I remember trying to speak but not really being able to because of the alcohol so I don't think they realized that I was trying to end the evening.
​
I won't go into too much detail but after that I figured if I made them cum they'd both leave. I still felt like I couldn't really move or participate and fell really bad about that, but I'm also really angry at Jeff for doing some things without asking first like trying to facefuck me without my permission. He did ask if I was okay with regular P in V sex and respected me when I said no. I think I was starting to sober up by then so I told them I just wanted to cuddle for a bit then they left.
​
I saw Jeff a few days later and felt so \*angry\* at him for no reason, especially since he brought me flowers that day which is something he'd never done before. It was sweet but I just wanted to throw them out the window. I texted him later that I needed to process the evening that that I'd reach out when I was ready. He was so incredibly sweet and understanding and we haven't spoken since. Annie and I have had no contact since that evening, I feel weird and angry at her too but also guilty for feeling so angry.
​
Basically I alienated and ended friendships two people because I kept giving mixed signals and couldn't get my shit together but I also feel like they should've noticed how drunk I was, especially since I'm a notorious lightweight. Am I being unfair? How do I apologize if I'm the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
tw3IcW3DxXTMtw2lyh7aBg9nskJSOf8O | amio92 | null | AITA : love interest is hurt because i didn't reciprocate | Alright, so I've been talking to this girl for about 3 months and things have advanced really quickly. we have the same sense of humor, same personality, same passions and interests, same taste in music, we're hella compatible. we instantly clicked and I feel as if we've known each other forever. we haven't had sex and we aren't official yet, but I told her whenever she's ready, I'm ready. I've never connected with someone so deeply this fast before. so, naturally, I'm trying to take it slow and not rush into things because I have genuine feelings for this girl and I want to last with her. I can tell she feels the same way. the problem arose when she told me she was in love with me. it was on our second date. I took her to universal studios and everything was going well. we were holding hands all day and I'd bought her a pair of jurassic park socks and shit was going well. the sun had gone down and she was getting cold cause she had on a tie it yourself shirt or whatever (like the thing where you wrap it inside itself idk how to explain it) and she wanted to go get food.
we got in my car and she put her hand back in mine and I tried to pull my hand away to put my car in gear and she said "no don't leave yet. just stay here for a minute. there's something I wanna tell you". I asked what and she said she had a very good time with me and she's never met a dude who she felt so connected to and that she thinks she's in love with me. i told her that I'd had a great time with her as well and that, while I'm not saying I don't love her, I feel like it's too early to say that I love her back. I said I didn't want to rush and I wanted to take it slow because she's worth it. she stopped smiling and asked me why I felt like it was too early. I said that I'd been called excessive and clingy before and it's what ruined my last relationship and I don't want to mess this up because I want her more than anything, I'm just trying to take my time and build something special with her. she said she understood and that she won't say it anymore if I'm uncomfortable with it. I told her I didn't feel uncomfortable and that I want to be with her.
things were quiet between us on the ride to where she wanted to go eat at. she was playing music and she had her hand on my shoulder still, but I could tell she was hurt. the rest of the night went well and she never really let it be known that her feelings were hurt. but, the following days leading up til right now, she's been acting more indifferent. not in a drastic way, but I picked up on it. I don't know what to say to her to comfort her. I want to ask her to go out with me tonight but idk if I'm the asshole or not. I do have feelings for her, I just want to pace things cause I've been fucked over a lot. am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6jlnxdQd4P14JewNAINaBrY7xxXk0Nxg | aorvli | {
"description": "getting mad at my boyfriend for saying he'll leave me for changing my body",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for getting mad at my (f23) boyfriend (m24) for saying he'll leave me for changing my body? | We've been dating for 2 years, coming up on 3. As of 5 minutes ago, we were arguing because he said he would break up with me if I got too fat, which was a sore spot for me because I used to be a little overweight. Then I got angry at him because it was my body, my rules. Then he got angry at me because I was attempting to silence his opinion, and he's "not allowed to have opinions anymore?!" so now we're both mad at each other
He's also said if I ever got tattoos, he would dislike it extremely and might think about leaving me. I asked him what would happen if my face was burnt by fire (a bit of a reach but I had a small fire in my building the other day) and he started saying "well what if become autistic?" and just kept escalating. So I got pissed and I just kept saying it was my body, and he said he has to deal with "my" body for the rest of his life.
I never even tell him what to do with his body, except not to drink in excess anymore because he was hospitalised for an entire day because of one incident. But he's comparing that to me being overweight which is crazy to me.
So what do I even do in this situation? Do I apologise for suddenly bursting at him? Are those even OK things to say? Are you allowed to have opinions about their significant others bodies??? IDK?? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
ocp1MqL8Y8QXec9FYEGw31Mg0SllmUUO | avsfmi | null | AITA- ‘gaslighting’ my girlfriend | I grew a beard for a few weeks and shaved it off yesterday. I went to meet my girlfriend and a friend and when I got there my girlfriend said ‘you shaved your beard!’ And I looked at her funny and said ‘I didn’t have a beard.’
Our friend gets in on it and insists with me that I never had a beard. After a few minutes of confusing my girlfriend, we laugh about it and say we were just joking.
Later, friend 1 told friend 2 what happened and friend 2 called us assholes for gaslighting my girlfriend. AWTA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 78,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 5
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 89,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
jRlYNW4QDbckqtN9jac3OGR3sNcJzp0E | ayu298 | {
"description": "playing a \"boiling rabbit\" prank on my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | AITA for playing a "boiling rabbit" prank on my boyfriend? | Using a throwaway and going to have to give some background.
I have been dating a guy I've fallen deeply in love with for about a year (I'm 22). He is everything I could have ever wanted in a guy and one of the things I love most about him is his understanding and his humor. On Tuesday night we were really stoned and laughing and he asked me what the worst thing I'd ever done was. I guess it was the drugs but I'd shared something with him that I'd only hinted at before.
When I was 15-18 I was a literal sugar baby for married man in his 40s/50s. For the most part I lived a normal teenage life but once a week or so I spent with this guy. I don't really see myself as a victim because I was a willing participant but I also understand how there can't really be a relationship like without the younger party being a victim. When the guy ended it with me I was devastated and I called his wife, sent pics, receipts, texts...everything. It destroyed the guys family, his work and I have no idea what happened to him after that.
I'd hinted that I'd dated much older guys but I guess the combination of being high and trusting my boyfriend, I told him everything. He sort of freaked out but I wasn't sure what he was upset about. He made a joke like "well at least don't boil my rabbit" (It's from a movie called Fatal Attraction, about a scorned woman) and it seemed everything was fine.
So I decided to play a prank on him and on Wednesday, I bought a cheap stuffed rabbit and literally boiled it on his stove. Instead of him finding and seeing it for the joke it was supposed to be, he freaked out. He said he now questioned both my past and current decision making. That I was making a joke out of a situation that I should be ashamed of. Then he changed his tone and said I was a victim and that I shouldn't joke about that either. I tried to explain to him that I don't know how I feel about that situation but he wasn't helping me. He told me to leave and I did.
I haven't heard from him and he hasn't answered my texts. I have no idea what to think. Am I an asshole for doing this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 19,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 19
} | WRONG |
65k863zbhBnzVZotsFTKCqcLAso2LEKM | b8thed | {
"description": "bringing up feelings of exclusion to new friend group",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I brought up feelings of exclusion to new friend group? | This is a repost from another sub because I wanted more feedback if possible. Original post has more info (3000 character max in AITA)
**BACKGROUND**
I’m a senior in university. I am pretty isolated. I for the past three years I have kept maybe one friend and my boyfriend. I have anxiety and depression. The last year has been especially hard. Basically, I only go outside of my house for school or my part time job.
A few months ago I got back in touch with a friend from freshman year, Sarah, and she invited me to eat lunch with her new friend group. The group includes Molly \[f/21\], Alex \[x/21\], and Candice \[f/22\]. I have known all of these people but was never very close to them.
Sarah and Candice are definitely leaving the country that we’re in after graduation in June, and Molly and Alex are not sure yet it seems. Additionally, Sarah and Candice are not going to be here from next week to end of May so I wanted to spend as much time with them as possible before they go.
**THE SITUATION**
Keep in mind at this point, we’ve hung out maybe 2-3 times a month maximum since February. So to me this is a LOT but to them it might be nothing, especially since they hang out more as a group.
Sarah, Molly and I had plans to go to a European restaurant for lunch on a specific day. I mentioned that I had work after and it’s not far from my work so it would be convenient! *DISCLOSURE: The place has options that I can eat (I have a certain diet that means I’m not just able to go to any restaurant without researching a bit)*
I had mentioned that we should invite Alex and Candice but that I didn’t have their contact/a group chat so I expected if anything Sarah and Molly would invite them. I’m not sure if they did though.
The day before we were supposed to hang out, I was checking the site for the restaurant online and realized it would be closed. I texted Sarah and Molly and mentioned it and asked if they would prefer going to another place or if they would rather reschedule. They both said that they were cool with rescheduling.
The next day (when we were originally supposed to hang out), I’m checking Instagram. And I see that Sarah, Molly, Alex, and Candice all posted a story that they were in the same area for lunch as the European restaurant we were supposed to go to. Literally down the block. I wasn’t invited.
We rescheduled out lunch plan 30 minutes ago. Also Sarah invited me to a picnic in the park on Sunday yesterday. But I still can't help but be a bit upset still.
I’m pretty socially isolated so I am aware that maybe this situation is something people normally wouldn’t be upset about. I have heard that not being around people enough can twist one’s perceptions of what people are doing so I wanted to ask for advice on how to navigate my feelings and/or the situation.
I don’t want to be that person who butts into a group and ruins the whole vibe. I don’t know.
**WITBA if I mention that I feel left out?** | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
zVVns6T2eQAIaCEglHVFnaIDMphqNkT9 | a8gp95 | null | AITA Text | So, I am wondering if I am an asshole, I go to high school, I insult people for like no reason asking them questions like, “oh you think you’re tough, huh?” And I ask this overweight kid if he enjoyed fitness and today was the last day and he said he didn’t have fitness and I replied with, “oh I can tell you don’t have fitness just by looking at you” and this was someone who use to be my friend, but he won’t even talk to me most of the time anymore. Everyone hates me in the school to the point that I got picked in the assembly for like a card game and stuff and someone replied with “ oh come the fuck on, not this douchebag “ I don’t know why. I think I am a nice person but everyone just hates me because they think I’m ugly or something. Anyways, I am in a drama class and after the performance the drama teacher asks if their performance was good and I raised my hand and say that it sucks in a “polite” way just to piss them off because they are dicks to me. I also don’t have much to do at lunch time, so I go behind the school to the smoke pit and I vape. There is always this one asshole who told me to smoke weed with him and I put the middle finger right up to his face and said “ get the fuck out of here, asshole “ he has never spoken to me again. I also got jumped by 3 people because I pissed the one guy off so much and he was too pussy to fight me himself so he got his friends to jump me. I then had to go to the hospital. I do have video footage of this because everyone was surrounding us like in those “ high school movies “ and they didn’t do shit to help. Everyone thought it was “cool” and they were going for the 3 people and they wanted them to win. I hate my school so much, it feels like a prison and I feel like I might be an asshole. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
VZaUZ7eRxYy6bngqUk1tu384dJRqXuHJ | amnou2 | {
"description": "not wanting to go to my birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to go to my birthday party | So a few weeks back I moved from the Midwest to Montana for my masters. I'm in a weird place in my life where I don't have many friends and no real relationships outside of family back east. I am also terribly awkward in social situations, but I don't really mind being alone. I'm also the last person you'll find drinking. We use EtOH to preserve specimens so I'm around it all day. I haven't really been "out for drinks" since I turned 21.
I love my work, which is good because I spend at least 50 hours a week on it. (This is pretty normal in my lab) Between general lab work, specimen loans, and my own project, I stay pretty busy, which gives me an excuse to avoid most social situations.
My workspace is directly across from another students, let's call her Bee because she works on Bees. We are on good terms, both being being new students from the Midwest, though she's much more socially proficient than I am.
Another student, let's call him L, came in and we all started talking about various odds and ends, he was heading out for the day and wanted us to let the PI know he'd been in. L is sharp as a tack, and is one of the better researchers in his field, he remembered my birthday, which I think I mentioned once in passing is the 3rd. Bee and L started talking about bringing food in and organizing something. This made me feel a bit bad because it had been Bee's birthday a few weeks prior and we didn't do anything for it besides wishing her a happy birthday (Though she does have family in town to celebrate with).
Anyways, they eventually decided that we would have a party after work on Monday. Nothing fancy, just the lab going to a local bar. They were so excited about it and I didn't want to tell them that I would rather just work until seven and go home. But now I feel like I'm on the hook and am sort of dreading it.
I know they just want to make me happy and I really appreciate the gesture, so I will be attending, and I will do my best impersonation of an extrovert, but I feel like a dick for not telling them I don't want it, and I feel like it would be similarly dickish to cancel their plans, when they seemed so happy discussing them.
So, AIAA for not wanting to go to my birthday party?
Also socially adjusted people of Reddit, am I handling this the wrong way? | HISTORICAL | {
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j5AQKXfpDjelJsCtqmxR6RjtDda5jget | ah2m1f | {
"description": "wanting my brother kicked out",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For wanting my brother kicked out? | Sorry for any formatting issues, im on mobile.
My(M/16) brother (M/29) is still living at home with our family, and i feel like hes done nothing but cause us problems.
First, he hasn’t had a job since high school, has basically lived here for free, and uses my dads credit card to buy everything he wants, be it clothes, food etc. This can go on into $100+ on just one trip. My father says he can’t really say no since he’s family, but this is starting to cause us problems with paying bills, as my father is the only one receiving any sort of money, and hes retired, so he cant really work.
In addition to not having a job, he’s also raked up $100k+ from my dad to pay for his college a few years ago, but he still hasn’t done anything with his degree.
Recently, my father has gotten fed up with him, and basically told him to either get a job, or get kicked out. My brother freaked out and promised he would, but would need more money to study for another college degree. My father agreed, and gave him a $10k deposit.
My brother is going to finish college soon, and promised he would look for a job ASAP, but I honestly doubt it. I spoke with my dad and told him it would be a good idea to just kick him out now, since hes just going to keep asking for more money, and will probably not get a job as long as he lives here, but he got really offended. He said that my brother was family, and he has to support him, no matter what happens, and to let him look for a job first before kicking him out. I wanted to say, really? And how many years is that job search going to take? But I think it was just better to say nothing.
My father told other family members, including my brother, about what I said, and they’re all extremely mad at me, saying how rude I am to treat my brother like that, how I should just “get a job and support myself” instead.
AITA for wanting him out asap?
tldr; 29 yr old brother hasn’t had job since high school, still lives at home, went to college twice, and still probably won’t get a job. uses dads money to pay for everything. asked father to just kick him out now, but he wants to wait until he gets a job.
| HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Y4goNYaabpum928q6FCiq0H9BFKuDKxL | an4mru | {
"description": "losing my friends distinction certificate",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for losing my friends Distinction certificate | Our college gives out distinction certificates for those with SGPAs above 80%. My friend had no place for his certificate and I had to keep it with me in my bag. But we didn't meet after that till our next set of exams. On the last exam, we had planned to meet so I could give him his certificate. I had texted him before the exam asking him to come to where I was camped out. I finished my paper early and was leaving. I met another friend and got to paper discussion, that's when I thought I saw my friend in another classroom. I asked the teacher supervising the hall(invidulating?) and asked her to give the certificate to the person I thought was my friend. My other friend with me didn't realise the mistake either.
I wasn't in a rush to get home or anything but I had worl to do that wasnt uber urgent either. I thought I'd get it over with. In a bit I got a lift back home and 1KM in, I got a call and turns out my friend was looking for me. I told him where I gave the cert over and asked him to check. I asked if he needed me to come back. He said yes so I walked back, oppologising profusely. Once he/we got there, there was noone and all the faculty offices were empty. Everything was locked and no sign.
We tried asking around for a lost property thing and our college has none. Fuck them. We went to the Exam Controller office that handles paper correction with the respective faculty(for malpractice etc). And we waited for an hour for help. No one helped and I told my friend that he could leave and I'd handle it. He told me it's fine cause he's a KM away. He said we'd have to meet anyway to get it from me. And we were both heading out of town soon. I dropped hints that they may charge to replace certificates, or that we could meet the department head and see what could be done. Eventually we left cause there was no point and we both had places to be. I was oppologising through all this while he was trying to downplay it all, saying "it's okay. That cert isnt the most importa,t" It isn't, but it has worth.
He wasn't mad at me to the highest sense either and we also tried to make plans to go for aovie(Into the Spider Verse) the plans failed cause of packing and my cousins coming over.
So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | RIGHT |
HNht7aMoZcXlToTWIm4UUktJOzCNtWYx | b54def | {
"description": "tipping 10",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for tipping 10%? | My whole life, I've tipped 10%. This is what my parents always tipped, so I just figured that was a good amount to tip and went with that.
Anyways, I went out with some friends last night to a bar, and tipped 10%. The waitress was a friend of a friend, and she stopped me before I left and rather rudely told me "tipping 10% is a dick move". I thought she was pretty rude, but I politely told her Ive always tipped 10% and asked what tip I should have given. She said 15%.
Afterwards, my one friend mentioned that I should have tipped better than normal just because it's a friend of a friend which is fair enough, but is 15% really the bare minimum tip? Is anything less insulting? Have I been offending waiters and waitresses every time I've gone out?
Am I the asshole for thinking 15% is too much of a tip?
I realise this probably varies by region. I'm in Western Canada if it matters. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
havVcaSQU5rIlmprmdbLYT0TLA5kcUNx | b19chh | {
"description": "telling a student off in front of the entire class made up of 300 people",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 20
} | AITA for telling a student off in front of the entire class made up of 300 people? | Throwaway account for reasons.
I work in an old-school type of university in southern Europe, which adheres to the idea of every student it's on its own. The reason I say this is because in each of my lectures (I teach fluid dynamics) I have roughly 350/400 students. I can't personally know them individually and, unless they ask, I won't personally go ask them how they are doing with my lectures. ( I always wait 10/20 minutes after class for further questioning from the students).
Having so many people in the same room, background noise increases exponentially, as well as constant chatter between students. I hate it. My lectures last 3 hours each period and we have a 5 minutes break every hour, and so, I admit that I may sometimes be on edge.
Alright, now, here comes the real deal.
Whilst explaining some laws about cylindrical heat exchange, I have had received several basic questions about stuff that was being explained, as well as some pretty dumb questions in itself. Add to that, that, almost everyone starts speaking the moment I stop talking... I snapped.
A student finally asked the dumbest question he could ask in that specific lecture (something about natural logarithms, which they are suppose to learn the year prior) and I could not handle it.
I told him (in front of everyone) the answer and then I asked him how he could be in this room without that knowledge, putting into question his seriousness about the topic at hand and his inability to grasp basic concepts that were explained a year prior, suggesting he should revisit the course once more, since he obviously learned nothing.
Between screaming and laughter I shut everyone up and proceeded with the lecture.
After class, my assistant (whom was present during the lecture) told me that I might have been harsh with the student and that I should apologize with. Of course, I have no idea who that student was.
So, knowing all this and my position as a teacher, should I really spend my time searching for this kid and apologize? Am I an asshole if I don't?
| HISTORICAL | {
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"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 20
} | WRONG |
I3n7rCmdwApht03GDZ5voh7I7RQ4NoHg | ayo16l | {
"description": "sitting in the Wheelchair Reserved Area when theres no one disabled waiting",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA Sitting in the Wheelchair Reserved Area when theres no one disabled waiting? | At the airport there are reserved areas for wheelchair customers, but it was for an early flight and as far as I could see there were no wheelchair or disabled people that needed access to a chair. Am I the asshole for sitting there? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
yWLEu7OC98P3LkiX4Fm4lR9JlFyPsK6G | aw69yx | {
"description": "joking about someones weight",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | WIBTA If i joked about someones weight ? | In college , there is a guy that always make fun of my height(1,65 m) even if i told him to stop. WIBTA if i turned the table and made fun of his weight because he is pretty fat . | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
DnYxWCUHUk2Y0RasNh2GZEU2izZED38Q | b22xiv | {
"description": "hurting my bf in the past and now that loving him & changing he doesn't want to put in the work",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA I hurt my bf in the past and now that I love him & have changed he doesn’t want to put in the work | This is probably a classic. i’m sure lots of you guys resonate. Maybe not so much as the doer here which happens to be me.
Long story short I have hurt my bf in the past, nothing too serious like cheating and having a baby with his dad (i see u karol), just other stuff that distanced myself away.
Now that I’ve changed and want to make amends I’ve found myself rekindling the love for him. I’m a different person now and want to give things another chance, but because I’ve done a great deal of damage already he doesn’t believe we can repair things.
So.. AITA for wanting another chance? I know I have made some errors in the past but I’d like to make amends. I can’t walk away because of the love! Why is it that he doesn’t agree with the idea of a clean slate? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 4
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
1sKgeV1XWlA3u0KVJtz24X85Y1BkoDcl | b1648x | {
"description": "snitching on my sibling",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for snitching on my sibling? | A little backstory. My sibling identifies as non-binary, meaning they don’t feel like a man, nor a woman.
My parents are very conservative about gender/relationships and they believe only a man and a woman can have a true relationship together.
So my sibling has a woman’s body, and they like to wear (men’s) boxers to sleep. My mom saw this the other night, but stayed quiet about it. Later, she came to talk to me about it and how it shocked her and said she wouldn’t want her child to become a man. She then asked me what I would think of my sibling being a man and I said I would not have a problem with it, that I support them in whatever they do, as long as they’re not hurting anyone.
She disagreed of course, but we came to terms.
Later that week, my sibling wanted to talk to me and they asked me if it would be a problem for me if they were to change their body. I obviously said no and was shocked they would even asked me that, because they know how I feel about their gender. They then proceeded to tell me that our mom told them I wouldn’t bear seeing them as a man and that I would resent them for it.
I talked it out with them, no harsh feelings, however I was really angry with my mom. She is and always has been manipulative, but this really shocked me. She has always turned the truth a bit and she tells white lies all the time to get what she wants, but this was just a complete lie.
My sibling told me to not talk to my mother about it, since they didn’t want to cause any more family drama. But I was so angry at my mom, that she would harm the relationship (which is a very healthy and caring one, and my mom knows this) with my sibling , simply because of her selfish and closed minded reasons. So I went and confronted her about it. She obviously denied it, but went to have a private talk with my sibling right away, so I know she was lying and my sibling got in trouble. They are very mad at me and won’t talk to me. Although I understand my siblings reasonings, I think it wasn’t just about them anymore and that I had to talk to my mom about her lying and her manipulation. I really don’t know what to do at this point, because both, my mom and my sibling, think I’m the A*hole. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
wZz59g87oPRHn22JirpDplpx1V8GA84g | aknfpa | {
"description": "being annoyed that my girlfriend cries during sex",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA For being annoyed that my girlfriend cries during sex? | Weird title, weird situation.
We've been officially together for 4 months, as in exclusively but weve known eachother for seven.
To put it simply, she cries during sex. Full tears. Not so much at first but when we're really speeding up and when we finish. Just bawling, sometimes silent tears and other times sort of moaning/crying.
First time this happened i stopped because i thought i was either hurting her or she was having a flashback or something. She immediately wipes her tears and asks why i stopped. Completely normal again, even confused like im the odd one.
She says that she cries during sex when shes nearing orgasm. She states it matter of factly. Now im not super experienced so maybe this is a common thing women do but i have never heard of it.
She says when she cries like that she doesn't want me to stop. Ive had sex with her multiple times and its always the same. I ask her to hold it back but she cries anyway. I ask her if she hates when we have sex but she says she likes it. I ask her if shes ever been abused and she says no.
Like i said i dont know if this is normal for women when they orgasm but i told her that she may need to see a therapist. She is angry at me for being "obsessive" about it and shaming her supposedly.
I just want, idk, for women to look like they enjoy having sex with me? Lmao AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 13,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 16
} | RIGHT |
ca4pjR1p07AMtOfTP30uyFFuefWimwj3 | b8yv9c | {
"description": "going for surgery without telling my parents",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA If I went for surgery without telling my parents | So, I guess I'll start off with background information. I am 21, and transmasculine, or female to male if that term works for you. I have known since I was 15, though was unable to act on it until I moved several hours away, about three years ago. A couple months after I moved, I started medically transitioning, but had some mental health issues, so I stopped for about a year, and have since been medically transitioning again for a year. Now, I've been fully socially transitioned in my life for almost a year at this point, which is pretty easy with my family so far away. I'm what we have termed "stealth". I'm seen fully as male, and nobody knows I'm trans other than my closest friends who have been around me for over a year. It's a very small part of me I like to keep to myself.
My parents, well, I don't have a great relationship with them. I really do love my mom, she raised me on her own after she seperated from my alcoholic father. She gave me as much as she could when I was younger. But she can be a bit... Narcissistic. She has those tendencies. She takes everything positive, and turns it negative. But she does genuinely love me, and since I live so far away now, our relationship is better, since she cannot control my life as much as she used to.
And she does deserve to know these things about her child. But I'm so terrified of her reaction. Even after all these changes, and meeting several trans people, she still doesn't see it. She still talks about how weird trans people are. My stepdad has said some questionably homophobic things to me as well, assuming I'm a lesbian. They're not great with this, and I genuinely don't know if this would get better with me helping them forward. It feels like I'm coming close to having to seperate myself even more from them, especially after I tell them.
To the point of the question: there's a fairly large chance I could get top surgery within a year. This is something that is very important to me, and my physical health. I've been wearing what's called a binder, and they are... Somewhat dangerous. They're basically a compression top that goes over your chest. I've been wearing it for 6 years at this point, 7 days a week, for about 8 to 16 hours a day, and it's caught up to me. Back issues, serious shoulder pain. I can't exercise with it on, as that's dangerous, but at the same time, I can't leave the house without it on, for obvious reasons and my own personal mental health.
I personally think I would absolutely be the asshole, but I don't know if that's my mom talking inside of me. My friends have told me I should just go and do it without telling my family, and I don't know if that's right. I didn't want to post this on a trans forum, because I'd be getting trans related experiences. I already know their answers. I can absolutely give more information if this is not enough. I just am seeking an outside opinion on the matter. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 26,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
yg0Pr8G4YPzwDjPVTIrGGObreZV2qF6d | aisv61 | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend if he ever get married I would would a prenuptial agreement",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For telling my girlfriend if he ever get married I would would a prenuptial agreement. | This story if going to sound stereotypical but this is my situation. I am a man in my mid 30's, I put having a wife and kids off to focus on my career, and now I make a very good living and a year ago I started dating again.
I met a 19 year old aspiring model and "social media influencer". Shes attractive, I like her, she likes me, I know that people may think I'm robbing the cradle but thats not the point of this post.
So a little bit more to this stereotypical story, we've been dating for a year now, we live together, and I buy her A LOT of stuff. I bought her a 70,000 dollar truck, AND I bought her a 40,000 dollar car. Thats in addition to her constantly using my rapide s to pick up her friends.
We spent christmas in Sicily. I gave her an 8,000 necklace for her birthday. Needless to say, outside of modeling, which I also pay for (shoots, marketing), she does not work.
I am fine with this, I like spoiling her and its really no issue. However, I am not an idiot and I realize that this looks like a typical case of a gold digger using an older man for his money. I'm not saying thats what this is because I do love her, but that is what it seems like to an outside viewer.
I do love her, we have a very good relationship, but I feel like if we were ever to get married we should have a prenuptial agreement. I told her this after she asked me about us getting married.
Personally I think we should wait a bit. I'm not into just rushing into anything. But she asked, so I told. I just said that I would feel more comfortable with a prenup. She blows up at me about how could I not trust her, and I just told her nobody knows what the future can hold. I am a child of divorce and I know how messy they can be.
I just said we should wait, but if I had to answer now, I would like a prenup. Things can change. I also feel like its a bit fucked up to accuse me of being selfish or greedy when I have given her so much. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
fObK81ywpCVYud9UFZZw6wAuxLFYDEYD | aekpd6 | {
"description": "not letting my fiancées 11 year old brother use our psvr",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not letting my fiancées 11 year old brother use our PSVR ? | Posting from fiancées phone because my reddit acc is locked (idk why I’ve never done anything wrong)
Backstory: me (20/M) and my fiancée (19/F)live with her parents and her 5 younger siblings (11,7,6,5,3) we’ve been saving recently to get enough money for bond to move out and recently came into a bit of extra money and decided to buy a PSVR which we’ve been wanting for the better part of a year.
So we bought a PSVR 2 days ago and set it up in our room and tested it out as soon as we got home, her 11 yr old little brother (from here on out “LB”) came in and saw and was like wow cool and I offered to let LB play for a bit so he did and then I asked him to get of and he did which was good but then for the rest of the day he would periodically come in every half an hour and ask if he could have a go and we kept saying no to the point where he got really annoying and we told him to stop asking. Yesterday he did the same thing and asked every half an hour and asked us/gave us dirty looks every time we left our room and eventually at 11 at night we said sure he could have a go (he should have been in bed but whatevs) . Today is where the real problems began , LB was asking every half an hour again and getting whiny and telling his parents to tell us to let him have a go to which they said no so he just kept sulking all day and eventually my fiancée said to me why don’t we just let him have a go so he stops nagging to which I said no because I don’t want to reward this type of behaviour and because that means he’ll just do it again tomorrow until he gets what he wants, anyways at some stage in the afternoon he ended up just sitting next to our door in the hallway “crying” (we’re not sure how long he was there) so as soon as my fiancée walked out the door she saw him and was annoyed so she whispered to her mum that he was still asking to play so her mum came and smacked him and get him to stop, her dad ended up hearing this and went absolutely off because he was sick of LB constantly asking and complaining and hit LB about 5ish times while screaming at him and my fiancée incoherent words along the lines of stop asking. My fiancée then come back into our room crying saying we should have just let him have a go and that she feels bad LB got hit but I still believe that we shouldn’t have because LB needs to learn he can’t just nag and cry and sulk to get what he wants. Am I the asshole for not letting him use it?
Also the night we got the PSVR I told LB if he doesn’t nag us we’ll let him have a go (he asked to play it again half an hour later)
Thanks for reading if you got this far and sorry if my formatting is bad I’m on mobile and don’t make long posts very often. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
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} | RIGHT |
aI4YaaspwrG3DFXeHUvSy6hJc7XnhqRV | 9w8jbi | {
"description": "telling my Ex that I'd rather see other people",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for telling my Ex that I'd rather see other people? | So my ex-gf and I broke up a few months ago, but on relatively good terms. We continued to hook up on occasion after the break up, but we both said explicitly that there was no going back to being in a relationship. The sex was pretty much always initiated by her. Eventually she asks me why I never initiate anything, and I said it was because I think my time is better spent looking elsewhere, for someone who I could maybe actually have a future with, instead of falling back into an old relationship that's going nowhere.
Apparently she took this really personally and has been telling lots of people that I was an asshole. I can understand how feelings got hurt, but am I an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
RvciHdj5fBtCodOVYYAIK7q54USyqict | aelvkx | {
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to move in with me",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to move in with me? | My girlfriend and I have an interesting background. I met her at work, we dated in secret for ~6 months. She moved to a different department, I moved companies. We made public our relationship and have been dating for 2 years.
I own a condo, she rents a 1 bedroom apartment. I have a roommate to subsidize my mortgage. She pays a lot to live on her own. She also has a large German Shepard mix dog who I love, however he sheds all. the. time. I invite the dog to stay over occasionally and I always need to vacuum up all his fur, use tape to get it out of my couch (because lint rollers aren't strong enough), and take my comforter to the laundromat to get his fur out of it.
Recently, her stepmom & dad visited us, and her stepmom asked at what point we would move in together. This triggered something in her, because after they left, she told me that normally, couples who've been seeing each other for 2 years move in together, and she's wasting money by paying for a place to live when we could be splitting rent (e.g. mortgage) with her living with me. She also makes comments all the time about how frustrating it is for her to bring all of her items to get ready in the morning back and forth between places when she stays over (but refuses to let me stay at her house bc she can't keep it clean due to her dog...)
In short, I don't want to move in with her. For one, I'm allergic to dogs and do not want to live with one, especially a large, constantly shedding dog who takes up so much space in my tiny 850 sq ft condo. Two, I like having nights alone and not spending every night with her. That's just my personality. I don't want to spend every single night with her. It's not anything to do with her - I love her - but I need my space every now and then. (And I think that part may be what makes me the asshole here but I'd love input). Three, we have no current plans on marriage. She's divorced (she's 33, I'm 27) and doesn't want to remarry. I don't want to get married in general. We're both totally 100% okay with that. Having said that, if we do decide to break up, living together would make it all more difficult.
Am I the asshole here? Should she expect to move in with me after 2 years? Am I valuing my want for personal space too much over her feelings and living situation? Should I not think that living with her dog is this big of a deal? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
KYuiX9ulp00OQIi2swx5Dx8PysmAtQNE | ao8fjz | {
"description": "expecting my sister in law to work",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for expecting my sister in law to work??? | I work at a home improvement store in the paint department. I met my husband here working in another department, his mom was a manager. Both have since left the stores. However a few months ago my sister in law also started in the paint department. After a couple months, she pops up pregnant. Now, she isn't doing anything to help the department. She claims she cant climb ladders, can't carry paint buckets and constantly needs to sit. Shes about 4 months along. She wont even attempt jobs that she could physically, and goes crying to my mother in law when management gets on her case. Being that this department is already short staffed, naturally I'm pretty pissed that she isn't helping... AITA for not siding with my sister in law??? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
CiACJQeg6FOWUqZia7naLeUllFP8JiTh | 9wtsn2 | {
"description": "hiring my buddy",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for hiring my buddy? | The other day I got a call from a client, he had a last minute gig and they needed two people at $XX/hr. Would I want to do it and did I know anyone else that would do it. I said I can do it and I will call around. I text my buddy (we'll call him Greg) who is in the same industry. I said "you free for a gig tomorrow evening? $XX/hr and they want 2 people." He says sure. Next night we show up and do the event, no issues.
Later, I give Greg the client's email and tell him to send them his invoice directly. All of a sudden Greg gets mad, he apparently doesn't like said client and said he only did the gig as a favor to me, and wouldn't ever work with client and so now is demanding his full rate $XXX. He seems to think I tricked or misled him. Truthfully, I didn't know he had history with the client, nor did I know he was doing a special price just for me. I thought I was being nice by bringing him on, and I was upfront about the rate and commitment. In my mind there is no difference between me billing the client and then paying Greg versus just having Greg bill them directly. Greg feels he was taken advantage of.
So am I the asshole and how do I fix this? I don't want to lose a valuable industry connection but I also feel like Greg is being unprofessional and petty. And obviously I have to make the client happy too. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
QwPLBMLwEMk5BKCloOpp2DcE8PVvZ4sW | an88cv | {
"description": "kicking an lonely older woman off my Toon Blast team",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | WIBTA for kicking an lonely older woman off my Toon Blast team? (I know this sounds silly but I'm very serious). | For those of you who don't play, Toon Blast is essentially the next Candy Crush and people from all over the world are playing. I have a team that does really, really well which is important because the last several weekends they have tournaments in which the winning team gets 50000 coins. This is a signifigant amount considering coins cost money.
On our team is an older lady who plays all the Time and I think the chat is one of her main ways of social contact. For three weekends in a row, when we've needed her most for the weakens tournaments and we've lost by under 10 stars each time. I sent out a message on Friday that said it was a "all hands on deck" weekend because we really wanted for win and I warned that anyone not participating would be removed from the team. Well again, this lady did not participate. I sent a message out late Sunday as rhe tournament was drawing to a close and we were in a danger of finishing 6th (I.e, with nothing) that I would be reviewing everyone's play on Monday and anyone getting less than 5 stars would be kicked off.
She sent an emphatic message this morning begging to allowed to stay on the team. One other person said I was taking this way too seriously, but 3 others said that they too were sick of noshows and I need to remove her.
I'm torn but I fear not being taken seriously but I'm also not about ruining an older ladies fun.
Would I be the asshole? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
dmxkytBVUSkSxHZLgn3w78tzbCK0qyET | azcu39 | null | AITA in this argument? | I have a somewhat close friend who I do quite a lot with. We hang out, skate and go swimming nearly every day. However, one of his biggest 'flaws' - if that's what you'd call it - is his extreme selfishness.
​
It seems like he is incapable of thinking of anyone else. I have, multiple times, 'tagged' him onto buses - a system in our public transport where you can pay for someone else's transport - multiple times, provided him with various 'substances' when we've been out and he claimed to have had none or have no money and I am yet to receive anything back other than a $2 bus fare.
​
Today he messaged me and asked if I wanted to go swimming. I said I did not have any bus credit nor did I want to go swim laps, I just wanted to go and chill out at a pool nearby. He agrees to pay for my bus fare and to just go chill rather than swim laps.
​
We meet up, skate to our nearby bus stop and wait for a bus. Once it arrived I reminded him he needed to tag me on and he attempted to argue that he couldn't because he needed the bus money to get to school. I ignored him, stepped on the bus and admittedly strategically said as I walked by the driver: "You've gotta tag me on." He gave in and did so and then got what I feel is unnecessarily mad. Told me to 'fuck off' after I said that I had my card and no money and he had said he would pay for it.
​
He proceeded to give me the silent treatment until we arrived at the mall near the pool. As we passed the grocery store he refused to wait for me while I bought a drink, so I just decided to continue skating to the pool. Once we got to the pool, we found it was closed.
​
He then suggested that we go to the pool we go to to swim laps and properly train, a near 3 hour round trip including waiting for buses - all in which I had to pay with in cash, near triple the price of a normal bus fare of $1. I even stated that I didn't feel like swimming, so when I refused he got mad at me and I said I was just going to go home as I didn't feel like swimming.
​
He says he's going to go swimming anyway so I say okay. We skated to the bus center, again, where he continues walking by the bus that takes us back near our houses. In an attempt to get me to stay with him to go to the other pool he asks how I'm going to pay to get home - in that sort of 'I get the last laugh' kind of tone. I attempted to pay for the bus with the card which I assumed had no money on it which proceeded to actually work and went into a negative balance which I had no idea it could do.
​
He gets super fucking mad telling me that I could've paid for it myself etc. and doesn't talk to me all the way home. We got off the bus and he runs off on his skate board as fast as he can, points the finger and just leaves me there.
​
I get home and he texts me; 'find someone else to skate and smoke with'.
​
AITA in this situation? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
TinxT0XlosltoXWpX1pYgj5WBBZ9yTLi | b8v3qh | {
"description": "not explaining why I didn't want sex on a 4th date",
"pronormative_score": 270,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for not explaining why I didn’t want sex on a 4th date? | AITA... So I (28F) met a guy (35M), we really got on, he was such a gentlemen then on our 4th date we decided to have a marathon of Game of a Thrones in preparation for season 8. So I went to his house for the first time.
We ended up falling asleep on the sofa, so we then went to bed, it was pretty late and I was exhausted, and I just really didn’t want sex, like really didn’t want sex. So I figured when we went to bed and I simply went to sleep, he would have figured I didn’t want sex, right?
He woke me up about an hour later really pissed off saying “do you have a rule or something, because if you do I should know about it? You have made me feel really shit and blown my self esteem completely”, so I told him I just wasn’t ready, he reaaallly didn’t appreciate me saying this, apparently I should have said before the date????
Like seriously? Is it a rule to decide before a date if you are going to have sex or not?! I’m trying to explain to him before the date I hadn’t ruled out sex all together, I was just going to see how we got on and where the night led. I told him it was all a bit odd that he got angry about it, but he’s fumingggg.
Either way, roll on watching season 8 alone haha! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 267,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 270,
"WRONG": 13
} | RIGHT |
n9njQuNZo6sUjZuETPoBF3dwYg9W7GGX | a2x3j9 | {
"description": "getting mad at somebody depressed and suicidal for going offline without notice",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for getting mad at somebody depressed and suicidal for going offline without notice? | So, here's some context. Me and my friends run live streamed monster truck events on a game called Rigs of Rods. These events have gotten all of us connections within the IRL monster truck universe, and personally has helped me through depression and gotten me opportunities for jobs I couldn't have dreamed of.
​
Me and my friend (we'll call him Sam) have met in real life and seen a monster truck show together. This is what led to us doing the RoR events together. He was set to be the third driver, since he's the best out of almost anybody in the community.
​
Sam yesterday had something happen to him. He went offline and only told two people (one he hasn't even met irl and the other his cousin) about what happened. The worst part is all I hear about the situation is he wants to take his own life. I was shocked to know he considered it but also shocked to know he didn't tell me anything. I was sad but also angry that he didn't even consider telling me anything, especially that he wouldn't be back for months. I started to think about the event and how it could be affected, especially since we have only three weeks. After talking about this with some folks in Discord, they started calling me an asshole for caring about my event and not solely on his health. Am I in the wrong? I feel like I have a right to be mad about something important, regardless of his mental status. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
zPmkVcwhOv8UVexkHMS95no9ZKBvGHEw | b1tnaj | {
"description": "saying my dad wasn't there for me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For saying my dad wasn't there for me | Hi I'm new here and this is my first ever post. By the way this is on mobile.
(Background)
I'm a 19 year old female, I have 3 sisters and no brothers. My father was in the military when I was younger I don't fault him for that.
(Cast)
Oldest sister: Cat
2nd oldest sister: Taurus
3rd oldest sister: Cancer
Me: Yuki
Mom
Dad
(Story)
This happened last night when earlier in the day my father told Cat she had to go back home after she was living with for only 2 months. While Cat was in the heat of the moment she threw my name in the mix to hurt our dad and make him feel bad.
Fast forward to when my mom got home. My mom sat us all down, Taurus, Cancer, and me, to talk about how we felt about our dad.
Mom: "I got you all down here to talk about how you feel about your father. Who wants to go first?"
Cancer: "I will, I don't really feel anything about daddy. I have nothing to say nothing is bothering me about it."
Mom: " Yuki?"
Me: "I feel like daddy wasn't there alot when I was younger, but I understand why"
Mom: "Taurus?"
Taurus: " why am I down here this has nothing to do with me."
Mom: "just answer the question"
Taurus: " he wasn't there and I know he was in the military he couldn't help that."
Mom: "okay now that is all said. Cat said that Yuki hate your father."
Yuki: "no I didn't say that all I said was that I was lost and didn't know what my place was in the world."
After that I went into more detail why I felt the way I did. Cancer started argue with Taurus, after Cancer said that both me and Taurus were fake sisters I couldn't take it and went up stairs. I went into my room and started listening to music and played freecell (card game), and after a while i texted my dad say that he was not the reason I felt lost and did feel like i had a place in the world. He ended up calling me and I was a crying mess. He calmed me down enough and to me to fo back down stairs so he could speak to Cancer about say we were fake sisters. Cancer told him that I said I feel like he wasn't there and didn't raise us. I feel like I should have told how I felt in person face to face not over the phone. Anyways my dad started to cry and say he was sorry for making me feel like I wasn't there for me when i was younger. Taurus went up stairs and Cancer went up stairs after that and so did I. I feel that everything is my fault, from the start of whole conversation to the end.
Today my dad text me good morning and I told him I was sorry I made him sad and I know he couldn't help it. He text back saying that he love me, my sister, and my mom, and we were going to have to talk and make things right. He also said we a his world and he loves us with all his heart.
AITA for not telling him sooner and him hearing our of someone's else's mouth instead of mine. I just feel like everything is my fault and I don't deserve such a kind person as my father. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Ap8FMqc1ynPNvkp1zmSZVkURRjpEj90m | ayue2k | {
"description": "asking our babysitter to fold laundry while the kids are sleeping",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for asking our babysitter to fold laundry while the kids are sleeping? | Quick question. My husband and I are going out for dinner and we have asked our cleaning help if she want to babysit 4 hours while we are gone.
The dinner is at 8 PM so the kids (1+8Y) will be sleeping before we leave and most likely the rest of the evening.
I would like to ask our help if she can fold our laundry while we are gone. We pay her 16$ per hour.
My husband doesn't think we can ask her but I really would like to have the laundry folded 😂
What do you guys think? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
HAYkOfPJekp5HnWM2L5Q5lLmPr1RRONd | an0d4k | {
"description": "cutting off my ex boyfriend who just came out as gay",
"pronormative_score": 73,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA - For cutting off my ex boyfriend who just came out as gay. | I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half. Things were going great until one day they just weren't. We stopped speaking 3 months ago and i was totally fine. Yesterday I get a LONG message from him saying that he wanted to tell me that he was gay and that he didn't mean to string me on but he was just scared of coming out and he wanted to be friends.
I was fine with this. People sometimes do get scared of coming out and I was willing to be friends with him because despite the fact he hid this from me I like him as a person.
We spoke for a few hours but towards the end of the conversation I was pissed.
I have always told him I don't like liars. I can forgive a white lies, and I can forgive people who admit to their lies once called out but I won't tolerate lying and then doubling down on that lie.
These are the things that came out in quick succession that pissed me off
"I didn't want to hurt you, I just didn't know I was gay"
Then
"I slept with nearly 20 men before I got with you, and a few while we were together"
And
"I just thought I might be bisexual because I was attracted to you"
Then
"I don't believe in bisexuality, it's just an excuse"
I pointed out the inconsistensies in his story and that he knows how I feel about doubling down on a lie so if he wanted to come completely clean and tell me what actually happened, which was he used me as a cover story while he was seeing men behind my back, I could accept it.
He doubled down anyway. So I told him I can't be his friend because I can't trust him.
Now he's telling people im homophobic because I didn't accept him straight away, but I did. I just didn't accept him lying to me.
AITA
TL;DR - ex boyfriend slept with men before, during and after our relationship and told me he was straight the whole time. Came out as gay to me and then lied about a) being attracted to me and b) not knowing he was gay. Then doubled down on the lie and I cut him off - AITA | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 71,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 73,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
tu8q1nq5D3N8H6nqCeUTU1KfVCosEvnE | akdoft | {
"description": "starting a fight with my friend over a game",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for starting a fight with my friend over a game? | So I have two friends, let's call them Kaito and Jake
So Jake, Kaito, and I all play this game Fire Emblem Heroes and we're all very passionate it, so much so that we all have at one point spent actual money on the game. FEH is one of those games that you have to summon to get characters, if anyone has ever played it you know how annoying and enraging it can be at times. Once the Christmas summons came around Kaito tried to get a character he's wanted since the christmas of 2017 but never got. Kaito was passionate about this and really wanted this ONE CHARACTER. But sadly, he hadn't gotten it. But Jake did. And he was rubbing it in Kaito's face. When Kaito told me about this I confronted Jake, I told him to stop rubbing it in Kaito's face and Jake proceeds to tell me that he went for that one character, why? I don't know why even now. Now, I'm the type of person that refuses to have justice so unserved and so I took matters into my own hands. I yelled at him because we never go for the characters he wants, we respect that but this isn't the first time he's done this to me or Kaito, so I fought with Jake. This is pretty much how the situation went down:
Jake: "It doesn't effect his game why does it matter so much?!"
Me: "It matters because we always respect you and the characters you want but when we want ONE CHARACTER you go STRAIGHT FOR IT it's unfair!!"
He then blocked me after saying it's just a game. So whose the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
djBFuvNXof5wOGccdc0p8gat0DOJHeIl | 9u1l85 | {
"description": "not smoking during a toxic relationship",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not smoking during a toxic relationship | To keep this story short I was in a relationship a year ago and had a bad smoking addiction because everything in my life was going to shit and the girl I was with at the time didn’t make make matters any better. I had people blocked in my life because of her and money stolen and fights started cuz of her fake claims. Usually whenever I was told anything I felt that I was in the wrong and would grab a smoke thinking I’m the ass hole for not understanding and when she eventually told me to stop smoking I couldn’t because it was what I was used to. When I went to her and told her I need help to stop I got zero support or help I told her I decreased it so i wouldn’t make her feel bad but it never changed. (Update: I happily stopped smoking and I’ve been 3 months clean:)) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
GLPsBTUvweMh9jfZI9qcJ5tgdbId7bjE | ajptl9 | {
"description": "not wanting to go to a funeral my mom wants me to go to",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not wanting to go to a funeral my mom wants me to go to? | My godmother’s sister passed recently. Their family is very close to mine because of my parents, but I only really have vague memories of them from growing up before they moved when I was 9 (I’m now 24). When she was hospitalized my mom asked me to come to the hospital so I did to console her and the family. I didn’t really feel any personal connection to the loss but I still wanted to be there to support them. This was actually my closest experience with this kind of loss in a family.
A day before the funeral (which I was not told about at all before) my mom asks if I can go but I am scheduled to work that day and it’s over an hour away. I said I would try to find a replacement to take my shift, which is nearly impossible on such short notice.
The very idea of funerals make me uncomfortable, especially since it is an open-casket. Also, being very strongly atheist, I would be especially uncomfortable in a very sad religious environment. I also don’t want to be there expected to be as sad as everyone else for someone I barely knew
I’m feeling so conflicted. I managed to fine someone willing to take my shift, but I decided not to go. I can’t shake that feeling of guilt. I supported my godmother and her family while her sister was in the hospital and visited my mom after it happened to console her. My mom sounded so upset about me not going but the the thought of it makes me anxious. Am I an asshole for not going? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
0ql12j1QT7CpOD3C8EuVedk6PYTw41Nl | a2wbpc | {
"description": "being concerned about my kids safety when their stepparent is public ally posting about suicidal thoughts",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being concerned about my kids safety when their stepparent is public ally posting about suicidal thoughts? | I know mental illness is to be taken seriously and I’m taking it at face value here. I don’t want my kids around this person alone until they get the help they need, and it’s causing coparenting tension. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5gXp0178P9rX344eg3o5DkIuonENDfDD | azv7n7 | {
"description": "ignoring my depressed friends' cries for help",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for ignoring my depressed friends’ cries for help? | A bit of background; I have a large group of tightly knit friends of mostly men, and I’m sorta “the leader” of the group. We’re all involved in a subculture that’s very open about mental health so we all speak very openly about our issues and support eachother. They dub me “the agony aunt” as I’m very well trusted and respected, so I’m usually the person people go to with their deepest, darkest problems.
A couple of years ago I made friends with a guy and kinda took him under my wing. His only group of friends were other men who’d never dare to talk about feelings, and they’d even pick on him for being “weak”.
I introduced the new guy to my group and everyone seems to like him, although he acts a bit distant with people and always says that he doesn’t think that they like him, which isn’t true. He’s just incredibly insecure.
I feel that I made a massive mistake by telling him that if he needs to talk I’ll always be there. I say the same thing to all my other friends, and they do take me up on that offer occasionally, which I don’t mind.
But the new guy began messaging me every single day with a new “problem”. It’s usually something ridiculous like he met a girl he liked but she probably doesn’t like him back, or that he “feels sad and doesn’t know why”.
I’ve began to realise that he’s taken to needing me to validate his every thought and feeling. He calls me, messages me, comes to my house all the time just to complain about whatever is bothering him that day. He’d never ask how I am doing either, he treats me more as an emotional crutch than a friend.
When he speaks to me his messages are extreme vague. He doesn’t usually tell me directly what’s wrong, he just acts super sad and I don’t know what to say to him anymore. I’ve told him that he needs to see a doctor but he just acted like I was being dramatic.
It had become such a daily stress for me that I’ve stopped reading his messages and hanging out with him. My inbox is full of read messages and missed calls from him, and he knows that I worry about friends so he’s sending vague messages that push me like “I feel like doing something stupid...” but I’m trying to not take the bait.
I know that he has pretty severe depression and has harmed himself before, but I feel like I’ve done everything I can to help him and that he’s just using me at this point. I stopped speaking to him for the sake of my own mental health but I still feel bad about it. Am I the asshole?
Tl;dr: friend is using me as a personal therapist so I started ghosting him | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
ELfQNdFVqGMEoHPF5QJCnFHQaB7CPtDD | apklsn | {
"description": "leaking a friends things on a second account because he made fun of me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | WIBTA for leaking a friends things on a second account because he made fun of me? | As a quick background, me and this kid have been best friends since year 5 and barely ever argue. Sometimes we like to roast each other and this was fine. Anyway back to the story.
It all started the other day where I was sat in the library talking to a few others when he comes up to me with 2 others and starts trash talking me for having a TikTok account. Now even I admit that some of mine can be quite cringy but I try to make it as good as possible and I enjoy doing it.However, the problem is that he has a tiktok account for its intended purpose and spends ( at least what he’s told me) 30 minutes making a few.
He keeps going on and on for about 5 mins and when I try to correct something he says
“ shut the f*** up you make tiktoks”
Finally he leaves and i sit there trying to process what happened. Eventually, I decide that I will: make a second account on Instagram, follow everyone that follows my main except for the kid himself and a few family members, then screen record all his tiktoks and post them to make fun of him.
I’ve screen recorded all of it but I’m still debating whether I should post it so I decided to see if I was being an asshole. Should I post it or should I not?
(Edit; I’m looking back and noticing how sad this sounds so I’m sorry if this made you cringe a lot )
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
mUGRYQNfh5fFTYM5YSzFBSwvzcuqqeuG | a7uf9u | {
"description": "refusing to pay for upgraded wifi with my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for refusing to pay for upgraded wifi with my roommate? | This happened at the beginning of the year. My roommate and I were deciding over text which wifi package to get. We have two other roommates who weren’t in the loop at this point. The convo went something like this:
Roommate: We can get the average speed package at X price or get the fastest package for $50 more annually per person. What do you think?
Me: I’d rather just get the regular wifi package. I don’t want to spend extra money.
Roommate: I just bought the faster package.
Me: What the fuck? We were just deciding together I thought? I dont think I can afford that.
Roommate: Are you kidding me? This is my senior year. I want the fastest wifi. Im not gonna be stuck with shitty connection!
Me: I’m not paying for that shit. You essentially spent my $ without permission.
Roommate (who is now backtracking): Well, I just bought it for myself. You guys can choose whether or not to join the plan (even though he texted me about what I wanted to do in the first place)
Me: Yeah good luck paying at least twice as much as everyone else each month. Let’s see how long that lasts.
Roommate: [stops responding]
I told him in person he should either cancel the plan or pay everyone’s premium. He refused. He kept trying to frame it as it was his wifi plan that he was willing to let us join, but I pointed out that was complete bullshit because none of us could afford any of the plans on our own and the logistics of having a router in the apartment that not everyone knew the password to are very complicated (roommates are going to find out eventually and it will be awkward when guests ask for the password when other roommates are in ear shot). He knew damn well we were in it together.
Also, I asked him if I went behind his back and got the cheaper wifi without his agreement, do you think we would be having a similar conversation? He said yes but still refused to nudge at this point.
In the end, he agreed to pay my premium, but not my roommates, because I brought up all the favors I did for him last year.
AITA for refusing to pay the premium when he went behind my back to get the more expensive wifi plan that he needed everyone to contribute to?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
vscxxT7wlXCjYYZaNtEvMUvAYiR6jxUc | b6djnd | {
"description": "video chatting in a hostel",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for video chatting in a hostel? | I’m living in a hostel for a few weeks since I’ve moved to a new city. I say hostel, but it’s more or less just a 3 bedroom house with bunk beds.
Most people here are long term residents, youngish people looking for jobs and needing cheap rent with no deposits and the like. This interaction happened with a new guy in my room.
It was about 7:30PM and no one was in the room, so I started FaceTiming with a friend. About 10 minutes later, this guy comes in, so I put on my headphones and start speaking quieter. It isn’t late, and quiet hours are from 11-7.
About five minutes later, he interrupts to introduce himself and asks if it’s ok if he turns off the light. I say no, since I’m not chatting with my friends in the dark, and it’s not late enough to really be interrupting someone’s sleep.
He looks at me like I’m rude, then goes and watches something on his laptop.
Was I the asshole? The entire conversation lasted about 15 minutes while he was in the room. I wasn’t being loud, and it wasn’t close to quiet hours. There’s not a place in the house that would have been quiet enough to do it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
Tbgmar7Pq16Ngc7R8QnUTWVnaqwOMiWV | b8za84 | {
"description": "inviting a boy to prom that I'm not interested in dating",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I invite a boy to prom that I’m not interested in dating? | If there needs to be any clarification, please ask in the comments.
So, yesterday, I F(17) went on a dinner date with a boy (M17) will call Gary for the sake of anonymity. He was really sweet and just seemed like a genuinely good kid and was very respectful. Thing is, I agreed to go on the date to give him a chance, I think that’s kinda the point of a first date. Regardless, I just don’t find Gary physically attractive. I just seen him more as a friend than someone I’d be interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with. He asked me on a second date afterwards, and I told him I wasn’t sure and I would definitely get back to him with my decision within a couple days.
Here’s the predicament: Prom is this Saturday and I don’t have a date. That, on it’s own, doesn’t matter, because I’m perfectly content with going with friends and without a date. However, Gary does online school, and thus will never have a prom to go to. I would love to invite him to be my date, but I don’t want to look (or feel) like I’m using him. He seemed down when he mentioned he would never have a prom, and part of me feels like it would be fun for both of us. BUT, I’m 90% sure I do not want to pursue a romantic relationship with him.
Would I be the asshole if I invited Gary to Prom with me, even though I don’t have intention of dating him?
TYIA | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
3sPLSydPkiI6dtEWZ2bKVUtaieDZdHu9 | a8hoox | {
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to get a puppy",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to get a puppy? | My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years.
I recently moved to a new city for a job promotion with work, she stayed in our old city with her job until she could get a transfer, which will be available on February. She has constantly been asking to get a puppy when she moves which I have said no to due to me having 2 cats. I got the cats before the relationship started and they don’t adapt well with other animals due to being abused before I rescued them. They even are afraid of other humans apart from myself and now my girlfriend who they are used to. So I am very hesitant about getting a dog as they would not cope. We also work long hours and I feel we do not have enough free time to care for a dog appropriately, whereas cats are a lot more independent.
This has put a serious strain on our relationship and especially being long distance currently has made it even worse.
So am I the asshole for not wanting to get a puppy? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
0DEFk7zsqhX9Gs2mBIppsH97lIqa4ldi | acvro7 | {
"description": "wanting my girlfriend to cut off her FWB",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA if I want my girlfriend to cut off her FWB | My girlfriend and I just got together, and she told me she had FWB that she’s still “friends” with. Obviously I don’t want to control who she’s allowed to hangout with, but it makes me extremely uncomfortable knowing she’ll be around them | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
2O2pP1dwUSl1OWjbZjwo0aqSrDdUBTWN | a4wqxk | {
"description": "asking my boyfriend if he's gay",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for asking my boyfriend if he’s gay (and possibly sleeping with his manager)? | We’ve been together 4 years. Our relationship has been long distance for about two years while I’ve been finishing my degree. I graduate this month (finally!) and the plan is for me to move back to LA where my boyfriend lives.
The problem is I’m having major doubts about everything now. My boyfriend is in the entertainment industry. In the time I’ve been gone he’s gotten a new manager (I’ll call him Ted). My boyfriend and Ted now share a condo. I don’t really understand the reason for this since I know my boyfriend can afford to live alone (and Ted is supposedly super successful so I would assume that means he has at least enough money for his own place). My boyfriend claims it’s super common for artists to live with their managers but IDK.
Anyway I just dropped it. The other thing is, my boyfriend chose to spend thanksgiving with this guy instead of traveling to see me. I was too stressed over exams to travel and I really wanted my boyfriend to come stay for a couple days. He instead opted to stay local to have a “Friendsgiving” that of course included Ted.
They’ve also done a bunch of “work” trips together. I found out that they share a room when they go. My boyfriend also thinks this is totally normal. I asked about the bed situation (basically trying to confirm that they always have two separate beds) and he was really vague about it and said “Oh it depends what they have available. We prefer two beds.”
Anyway Saturday night I got a little buzzed and emotional over some stuff that’s going on with my family. I called my boyfriend and as I’m mid-sentence he put me on hold because he had to “go see what ‘Ted’ wanted.” When he got back on the phone I just flat out asked him if he’s sleeping with Ted. Of course he was caught off guard and was like “wtf are you talking about??” And I just laid out all the reasons I’m suspicious. And do you know what his response was? To hang up on me.
He didn’t talk to me all day Sunday (and I honestly can’t remember the last time we went a full day without talking so that was odd). Today we texted a little. I think he’s expecting an apology but I haven’t given one (at least not yet).
AITA in this situation? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
QytpCffNJ7sqjN16s4ZAEffC4ZIecOwm | ai3frp | {
"description": "calling out my gf when she didn't consider inviting me to a trip",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for calling out my gf when she didn't consider inviting me to a trip? | Recently created throwaway account and first time poster, hope my formatting isn't too bad.
So last night me(22M) and my gf(22F) were chatting at night, nothing out of the usual. We were talking about her luck at finding jobs and how she had asked one of her bestfriends(20-something M) from another state if he knew of anything. Then, after that she told me that she asked if he was going to a certain convention (which is in the state her friend lives) that she had always wanted to go but hasn't had the chance to. After that he invited her to go, then called her mom to ask for her permission and had already bought my gf tickets to said convention. She said she didn't have any plans to go at first because of economical issues, but then said she felt obligated to do so when her friend told her that he had already bought the tickets. So then she said that they would be staying over at her friend's parents home and she would only pay for the ticket and food for 2 - 3 days. It was getting pretty late so I didn't say anything and just tried to get to sleep.
This morning I couldn't get the thought out of my head, "Why didn't she ask if she could invite me to go?", "Did she even consider it?" and so I told her how it made me feel and that I felt excluded from the whole plan. And she told me,"Well let's go then" to which I answered, "It doesn't work like that... He talked with your mom and made plans for the whole thing, and nowhere in those plans was I mentioned or considered", her friend knows I'm her boyfriend and he didn't bother mentioning me either nor telling my gf if she wanted to invite me. Then she replied, "But I was invited, and I don't think I could've just invited someone else", to which I answered I didn't see nothing wrong in asking if you can invite your SO to join you on this trip. Then she just said that it didn't matter, that she wasn't gonna go anymore and that she was only gonna pay him the ticket back, to which I told her that I had nothing against her going but just wished she had considered inviting me.
AITA? Should I have handled that differently? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
YdmqQyHCYYb9yniZ09QoMTLvngydJ2ss | acp73s | {
"description": "being immediately skeptical of people with emotional support animals",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 23
} | AITA for being immediately skeptical of people with emotional support animals? | Whenever I see a person who isn't like a PTSD vet with the typical black lab support dog, I always immediately assume that they're playing the system. I guess I feel this way because of things like the video that Logan Paul made about how he got a ESA vest for his dog so he bring him on the plane with him and that I see people in Walmart with yappy Chihuahuas in ESA vests sitting the basket of some old fat women's rascal and most recently I read a news article about how a dude's "self trained" support animal got off leash and attacked some kid. I'm especially skeptical if the dog isn't a working dog like a Lab or a German Shepherd. If it's some small dog, I generally don't believe that it's a genuine support animal. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 21,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 23
} | WRONG |
DKD7Wf7JY6zdMBw1g2EmgjB47znMPYVe | 9yq9ej | {
"description": "holding a grudge against my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for holding a grudge against my boyfriend? | This happened about a year ago now. My boyfriend (not a student of the university I was at) was staying in my dorms but because I invited some of my friends over to hang out in my room, I asked him to go out somewhere while they were over.
This was probably my fuck up, because I didn't specify when they were going to leave and I didn't know how long they were going to stay there. Long story short, they stayed until really late, like around 1 or 2 AM.
When they left, I frantically called him, but he wouldn't answer. I thought he was furious with me, as he should have been. He finally picks up, and I try to find out where he is. He told me before going that he would probably be at a bar not too far. But I'm listening to him talk over the phone and I can't understand what he's saying.
It dawned on me that he was completely drunk. Also, he was trying to stumble his way back.
I'm desperately trying now to find him, trying to get him to call an uber, make out landmarks, anything.
Then he says he's at a park. I go to a nearby park, and I see him. While I'm dragging him back to my dorm, it's obvious that he's upset.
I felt extremely bad that I had put him through such a hard time, and decide he should rest more comfortably. My room only has a twin size bed. A twin size bed for two people is just not enough. So, I had the idea to just lay some spare blankets down on the floor and sleep there by myself while he has the bed.
For whatever reason, he did not approve of this idea. At all.
Now, he was still very drunk, but it wasn't like before where he was just obviously wasted.
I could hear him stirring behind me, and as I turned, he hit my arm. Hard. I probably cried out, both in pain and surprise and I can't exactly remember what happened after, but he did continue to hit me. At some point, I was crying so much I began to hyperventilate involuntarily. He told me to quiet down because I'll wake up the entire hall if I keep crying, but I couldn't control it, as much as I tried. In the midst of it, I think he told me he wanted me to just sleep in the bed next to him.
The next morning came, and he was feeling hungover. I grabbed some water and other things for him. I told him about what he did, and he claimed to not remember almost anything. He apologized, and at that moment, I said I forgave him.
Although I tried to forget about some of this, the moments keep playing in my head even when I'm not mad at him or anything. I know it's wrong to hold a grudge for a year, especially against your own boyfriend, but I don't know. Am I in the wrong for not being over this?
TL;DR My boyfriend got very drunk and hit me about a year ago. I said I forgave him, but I'm not sure that I really do. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
PT7TG4MIQnruckXwUo1PGsEbXN5HTSmr | b3izzm | {
"description": "not wanting to buy a game for my friend to compensate for damaging my friend's laptop",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not wanting to buy a game for my friend to compensate for damaging my friend's laptop | I have a friend whose laptop I stepped on several months ago and I cracked the screen. The screen still looks fine, but you can see a crack that runs along the screen and the touchscreen functionality doesn't work.
When this initially happened, I offered to split the repairs with him, as I considered this both of our faults. It's my fault obviously for cracking the screen, but I also feel like it's his fault for leaving the laptop on the floor right next to where we were sitting. We were sitting at a dining room table and I didn't notice that he left his laptop there, and when I got up, I stepped on the laptop. He declined my offer to split the repairs and told me not to worry about it. Ok fine, so we moved on.
Now, months later, he text me asking him to buy him a game and mentioned that he missed his uncracked screen. I again offered to split the repairs for the screen and he said that it would cost too much for the replacement screen (the screen costs a lot more than the game). I feel weird buying him a game as compensation for the screen, especially since several months have passed.
AITA for not wanting to buy the game? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
GcweUfcWyP9NvGM10MYuhB4AL7Sl7TC1 | ba0cku | null | AITA: sister in law broke up, living with us for a few months, want to invite friends over - not ok? | Throw away for reasons. First some background:
​
We moved back in Oct, so it's taken a while, but we are finally getting settled into the house. Things are tight, but we are managing with our two little ones 18mo & 3.5 years.
​
Sister in law, split with her husband, and moved in - along with their daughter 6 - with us in the first half of February. She wasn't sure at the time if it was to be temporary, or a permanent thing, but we'd help them out, through the end of the school year with the understanding that they would find their own place sometime in the summer. There's been some behavioural adjustments from the change in their living situation, and that we are a little more strict with rules around the house - there's less screen time, no unlimited warnings, or crap food (unless it's the occasional treat) here - which has taken effort to get used to, although either way she gets away with more then our daughters do. SIL agreed to pay us back for expenses once their house sells, but can't really contribute for now, as she needs to cover the bills and mortgage on their house (which her now ex is staying in, cause there's no where else to go, and she initiated the split.)
​
My wife generally works from home, and has taken to doing either a drop off or pickup to help out - but with her school being \~40km away, which is $16-18 in tolls - so return $35/day, before gas. I drop off and pickup our little ones at daycare, as it only adds 10min to my drive to work. So between the additional travel, meal prep, picking up and cleaning - it feels like there's less time for us to spend as a family, and it feels like we have extended ourselves pretty far and are just treading water - there's a bunch of tasks I'd like to get done but don't have the time or energy to do them. Part of that is life with young kids, part is the increased responsibility.
​
About two weeks ago she confirmed it was over, and just today asked if it's ok to invite friends over to the house.
​
I feel like mom and daughter are guests in our house, even if they are family - and in my gut is that I don't feel comfortable having people I/we don't know hanging out in our house. My wife is a bit of the opposite and feels like they are family, and we want this to feel like home while they are living here so it's ok for her to invite guests over. I'm cool with offering to babysit her daughter while we are home anyways, so she can go out a meetup with friends and date, but I'm don't get the need/want to hang out here. I wouldn't consider asking if the roles were reversed.
​
Am I the asshole for saying, I don't want our house used as a hang out spot, especially while our girls (and likely us too) are sleeping?
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
4HgK0QbbnftbobYQqJYpdVzcjcuXWWcL | aax4ye | {
"description": "telling a kid to stop kicking my chair and humming on a flight",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling a kid to stop kicking my chair and humming on a flight? | I’m currently on a flight to Toronto, and of course i’m seated right in front of children. The second I get seated, the kid behind me starts kicking my seat very frequently and hard enough for me to feel it and be annoyed. This kid is also humming very loudly ( I can hear it with my headphones in). So I turn around and say “ Can you please stop kicking my chair and humming, it’s very annoying”. The kid immediately gets sad and the dad gets angry with me. Now I feel like an asshole. So, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ASZX0dwuDEeeMThfr8LbBHthwXL2CxGE | b8auko | null | AITA | Long story short, my ex wife and i got back together. We have a child together (7). While we were apart we each had children of our own. Also i was on child support for our child as soon as we split. Now that we are working on getting back together she has informed me that her child (2) father has not been on child support because she knows he will not pay it. She then tells me she will not take me off because she knows i will continue to pay for our child. Ive told her that i will set up a direct deposit so she doesn't have to worry about not getting payments. AITA because i think its bullshit that she wont put him on child support? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
CFwBhKreDAKu0eEA7jbopjNUWDZNRCRJ | b56m41 | {
"description": "being upset with my friends",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being upset with my friends? | I have a group chat with a few friends for the purpose of getting together and doing things, as well as just having fun and messing around. We like to get together every once and a while to hang out, and do some recreational activities. We all have fairly busy schedules, as we are all adults, so planning on doing things together can be a bit of a hassle sometimes. It’s nice to be able to get together at least once a week, but sometimes not even that is possible because our schedules don’t line up.
I understand that people get busy and sometimes plans don’t work out, that’s just life. I’ve noticed however whenever I pitch an idea to do something on a particular day, not ONCE has the plan actually gone through. I’m understanding if my friends are busy and it doesn’t work for them, but when they say “that’s a great idea, let’s go!” or “works for me!” Isn’t that kind of expected that they should be able to go, or am I just crazy? It also seems when any of them make plans, it usually works for most of them and goes through. It kinda makes me feel like a shitty person how I try to make plans with my friends and it seems like they don’t really give a shit.
This most recent incident, I asked a few days ago if anyone wanted to get dinner, where two of my friends said they could go and one said they probably couldn’t. When the day arrives, I ask where everyone wants to go and I get no responses. Half an hour after we were supposed to meet up, one of my friends messages us saying that they have too much to do and can’t make it. The other friend straight up doesn’t respond. Third friend doesn’t either but they said they probably couldn’t anyways so I wasn’t upset about that. I reply “awesome, I guess I’ll just let you guys make all the plans since all of mine fall through.” Nothing. They even read it too.
I then said: “cool, I guess nobody gives a shit,” and left the group chat. Now they’re individually messaging me but I’m not gonna respond because I don’t care about their justifications for being shitty friends. If you say you’re going to an event or enthusiastically respond in such a manner, then I don’t know why it would be unreasonable for me to be upset when it falls through last minute. Now if this happened once, it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but it seems like every damn time I try and set something up, this shit happens.
It makes me feel like trash when this happens. I still like hanging out with them, but it feels like it’s on their terms and never mine. Are my feelings justified or am I just being an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
uAjpStZBmNJ1hUCaPWFFCselPR11L8nd | ay0thd | {
"description": "skipping work for my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA, I skipped work for my boyfriend | So, I’m a student and I also work in a very popular store in my country, which means I don’t work there everyday.
One day, my boyfriend and I were just chilling at his place, doing things like watching videos and stuff. Then he tells me that his stomach hurts (this happens from time to time and we don’t really know what the reason is yet) so he goes to the bathroom and comes up again a while later. He sits down and tells me that it hurts A LOT in the lower parts of his belly before he just kinda leans backwards in his chair. I thought this was because he was just showing how bad it hurt, but he wasn’t giving me any answer when I talked to him.
Me: Ouw.. does it hurt that bad?
BF: *Doesn’t say anything, still leaning backwards in his chair, I can’t see his face*
Me: Hey BF... you ok?
BF: *Still quite and starts to slide down his chair*
Me: BF???!
He slides down to the ground and I try to catch him so he doesn’t slam into the floor. He had passed out. I had never seen anyone pass out in-front of me before, it was so scary, so I panicked and yelled for help, thinking he was dying.
Thankfully he woke up a bit later, after his sister had come as well to see what was happening. We took him to the doctor and we were there for SO many hours, until 2 am, for them to say that there was nothing wrong. I had work the next morning, but I didn’t leave the hospital while my BF was there to get it checked since I had been the only witness to him passing out.
I was so scared and still felt shaken afterwards, in the morning I told my work I wasn’t coming in that day. I wanted to look over my boyfriend to make sure that he was okay, everyone else was going to work in the house so I wanted someone to be there. And honestly, I couldn’t stop thinking of the moment he was passing out either, if I was at work that day I just wouldn’t be able to focus.
I later told my parents about this and both of them thought I was wrong to not go to work that day. That it wasn’t a good enough reason and that I should’ve went anyways. And it made me cry hearing them say that, my mom who is really nice and usually thinks like me didn’t even agree with me. I still believe I was right. But I just want to know.
Was it a dick move of me to skip work for my boyfriend that day?
(Also, let me add that I’m a great worker. They - as in my boss - have told me how good I am at my job and I very rarely call in sick.) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
nmgrkwanrMjiXjs3iY0FhOSe9csKb0yj | aw0p6b | {
"description": "getting angry at my house guest inviting a stranger over while I was at work",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting angry at my house guest inviting a stranger over while I was at work. | So I(M27), got home today to find out my friend(M26) who has come to visit for the week(I had told him it would be better if it was less time because I couldn't get time off work) had a girl at mine and my partners(F27) place.
He had told both me and my partner he was going out to meet a friend in the city and catch up he said he's never met this friend and he knows them from playing online games together. I was totally okay with him borrowing out keys to get back in the house incase we weren't home from work when he got back, he said he was going to catch the train out and then catch the train back home. He never once even hinted they would be at our house, someone who he's never met in person and only knows in an online presence I am not okay with.
I must add that this friend is planning on moving up to this area and staying with us for a while so while he was he we set him up in the room we plan to give to him and told him to make himself comfortable, but he does not pay rent or renters insurance and most likely won't be moving up for quite a few months.
I just need to know should I let this go. I kind of feel like he betrayed our trust but I might be overreacting. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
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} | RIGHT |
bc70LLEjBDXZXnTn7lyqZ5CpnV1E7fNw | awp5mj | null | AITA in this situation? | So to put in context I have a group of "friends" that I known since high school which consists on a guy and his girlfriend (let's call him "David") and two other guys. We've been "friends" for almost 11 years we are all around 25-27 years old right now.
The thing is that we don't meet each other much nowadays and these past three years I've been the only one trying to make some plans so we can meet.(We met twice last year).
So two days ago I received a message from "David" and he asked me if I'm interested on joining them on hanging out in the nearest mall which is around 15 minutes from where we live by car. I replied to the message after 10 minutes and told him that of course. After reading the message he instantly replied and said: "We are already there hahahahahahaha" and nothing else.
That laugh part got me pretty mad , they didn't even ask me to come after (I could have came with my car in like 15 minutes as I said). He just laughed and didn't even message me again. So after around 20 minutes I messaged him back and told him off and told him that they suck.
Today one of the guys of the group of friends told me that I should apologize to David. I didn't even reply.
AITA?
And sorry for my english it isn't my first language.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
SZiMlWqQjZ9MQdH8dzJJmY7tzmAvTZZq | ahh7bh | {
"description": "calling the cops on my old mate for selling hard drugs to my younger brother",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for calling the cops on my old mate for selling hard drugs to my younger brother |
Recently I made the decision to call the cops and snitch on a mate that had started to fall down the wrong path. I did this because as the title suggests he was into hard drugs himself and started to tell me that he was selling to my younger brother.
I asked him to stop and stay far away from my brother but he didn't want to listen.
I then spoke to my brother, who wouldn't listen either and made my decision.
Nothing has come from the call but I still feel like an ass for snitching.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
HrzREtDciX2egdlB6vtRfzayHfUVA8DO | a8qek4 | {
"description": "blocking and unfriending a friend we've had one way communication for 8 years",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for blocking and unfriending a friend we've had one way communication for 8 years? | Been friends with this guy for 15 years, one of my closest. For about 8 years he's never once replied to a text or returned my calls unless he called or texted first ( to play a game, hang out etc). If I ever ask why he didn't reply its always "my phone was dead", " I was too busy" etc. I've returned calls, answered calls, replied to text from him for 8 years. But NEVER the other way around for 8 years. Communication is only on HIS terms. So I decided this isn't fair and felt used. So I unfriended him, blocked his number, etc. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
wgKl56yCqfWgejyc2awIJ4k1LVEAhzIP | aobrro | {
"description": "wanting my gf to clean her room so my allergies don't kick up",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting my gf to clean her room so my allergies don't kick up? | We've been dating for over two years now, long distance so we're not usually at each other's houses. But she's visited me countless times and I've visited her countless times (we're in neighboring states so the drive isn't too bad).
Her relatives are legitimate pack rats. They live in a house so full of junk that you barely have any room to walk. She's inherited that character trait, so her room has almost nowhere to step as it's full of years-old figures, plushies, computer peripherals, and old clothing. The floor is usually covered in clothes and garbage, you can't see the carpet. Her two desks are piled up, so every time either of us uses her computer or gaming console, something always falls. You can visually see the dust on most of this stuff.
I have a really bad dust allergy. Every time I come over, my allergies kick up to the point where it's difficult for me to breathe in or out, like I'm constantly running a marathon. We've tried countless things to help -- running an air purifier at full blast, washing her bedding regularly, attempting to dust the common room, taking a daily shower while I'm over -- and I've seen doctors who have suggested a daily dose of a nasal spray and Allegra. I've also taken Benadryl to try to help as well. Sometimes the efforts help, sometimes they don't.
I've asked her about the state of her room and whether we should try cleaning it to help get rid of a lot of dust magnets. She suffers from clinical depression, so in her words, she takes one look at the room and hates herself and can't find the energy to work on it. I've offered to help her, but she refuses, not letting me do busywork when I'm their guest and especially when I'm suffering from allergies.
For a little more context, she and I are very happy together, it's been a wonderful relationship all around. I have no qualms with her, nor her I, but this is something that's been a constant thorn whenever I visit. My allergies kick up at my home too, but only when I do something like roughhouse with my little brother on carpet or pet my cat.
Reddit, AITA for asking her to clean her room, or WIBTA if I took a firm stance on the basis of my health? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
RF1Z30Ut13OwVwse8wUeVwyxPfIokkZ0 | b3389p | {
"description": "using the handicap stall at work",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for using the handicap stall at work? | I use it even if other stalls are open since it is better lit and feels more comfortable. There aren't any wheelchair-bound people in the office but I don't know nt really know about disabilities beyond that. The bathroom is regularly full (3 stalls for 50-100 people) so it seems pretty minimal impact? Idk... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
jmUBUp3l2Adm0dfUp2hc1N1ncyzMkMcd | ao3pdj | null | AITA? Ghosted a guy from Steam who wouldn’t stop messaging me | This happened a few months ago but I still feel guilty and I want to know whether I’m an asshole or not.
Some guy I think was on the opposing team in a CSGO match friended me on Steam after the match had ended. I figured he was salty about the loss and wanted to shit talk me or something so I decided to accept the request and have a bit of fun.
Turns out he really liked my Steam profile and he was curious how I centered my Steam description and he wanted to know how to “make it pretty” So I give him so directions and helped him format the Steam description and he eventually managed to get it work, I was happy for him too since he seemed genuinely appreciative.
But after that he continued to have casual conversation with me so I decided to humor him and continued messaging back and forth with him for the rest of the day. He then started to delve into pretty personal topics and deep stuff in his life. It seemed as though he didn’t really have anybody to talk about it with so I decided to just discuss it with him, figuring that tomorrow he would’ve moved on.
That didn’t happen at all. He asked me if I was religious, my political stance, whether I’m gay or not, what my family life is, just really personal topics. It made me pretty uncomfortable but nonetheless I replied with vague information. He then talked to me about his father’s death and his broken family life and how his girlfriend cheated on him and shit; I felt bad, I really did but it made me really uncomfortable. He would constantly message me whenever I was playing a game or I was away.
This one time during a CS match I was tryin to focus and tryhard but he just wouldn’t stop messaging me and he already knew I was online and playing in the middle of a match so going offline would’ve just been obvious so I decided to humor him some more.
After a week I decided to just be straight up honest with him, I just wanted to help him with his Steam description and leave it at that, and that he was being pretty annoying. I just unfriended him after that. Back then I had my discord acc on my Steam description like a dumbass so he friended me there and was genuinely disturbed, messaging me and asking me to come back and be his friend. I just blocked him, but not without hesitating. I just felt absolutely horrible and I still think about it time to time.
I thought he was just extremely disturbed and suicidal and for some reason I thought I pushed him over the edge but I checked his steam profile and he still has his centered description and has very recent history of playing games so I know he’s alive.
I feel awful about ghosting him. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Y1P76ZfPL4awb4O6nzpAcz2g0DaFZcGE | ab4owv | {
"description": "asking my ex to send me back my belongings",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for asking my ex to send me back my belongings (long distance relationship) | ... And also getting mad at him when he said he wouldn’t?
So I’ve been in a LDR with this guy for 2 years, living on opposite sides of the world. I left a lot of my things over at his place from my last visit about half a year ago. I have maybe $400+ dollars worth of clothing and accessories there and also a $100 wacom tablet. I have quite a passion for this style of fancy Japanese fashion called himekaji. A lot of clothing articles are rare and sought after and there’s quite the buy/swap/sell culture surrounding it. I left a few of my favourite dresses and skirts at his place.
So I broke up with him a month ago. In short, things didn’t work out between us for 2 main reasons:
I just didn’t love him like I used to these last few months
There was someone else I started to have feelings for (There wasn’t any cheating involved, unless you count this as emotional cheating. I reciprocated feelings for him when he expressed his own and then broke up with my bf a few days after not speaking with this guy.)
After the breakup, I made no mention of my things I left at his place. I was really undecided on when I should ask him to send my things back to me or whether I should even ask at all. I think I was just hoping he’d do it for me anyway. Finally, he sent me a message saying he “considered burning them but then decided to donate them because someone else would appreciate those clothes far more than I ever did”. That was the final straw and I got mad at him, telling him that it wasn’t his call to make I think he made that remark because he always got irritated at how much I fussed over my fancy clothes (not getting stained or creased etc).
If it makes any difference, I would have offered to send him money compensating for the delivery cost and trouble.
Is it fair for him to feel this way? I did break his heart after all and I know he would be understandably sad and angry at me and I should let him. But should he put that aside for this simple gesture of returning the things that are mine? Or should I just accept the consequences of dealing with a breakup? I have absolutely no idea at this point. I just need an outside perspective. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
18tpOTouuHhkl2zVJuuD6gBv06ND0BAx | ai1pzo | {
"description": "being pissed that my husband broke glassware",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for being pissed that my husband broke glassware | Around the time of our wedding, an aunt gave us a beautiful set of vintage green glass items. 4 each of tumblers, small juice size glasses, and ice cream bowls. They were a gorgeous dark emerald color, with sturdy feeling weight, and a squarish jewel type shape.
They weren't one of our most expensive wedding gifts, but they perfectly matched my esthetic. I could tell the aunt that gave them to us spent a good amount of time finding the set and thoughtfully selected them. This year, she managed to find a serving bowl that matched and gave it to us for Christmas.
I loved the set. I've carefully taken care of them for several years. But it's not like I hide them in a curio like fancy porcelain. The smaller cups in particular became a standard choice for serving wine when we had other couples over or nicer meals together.
My husband has been a little devil may care with them for the last 2 years. Grabs them for drinking whiskey and coke if the other cups are dirty, keeps putting them through the dishwasher, leaving them on the edges of tables, etc. I keep reminding him to please be careful cause I really like this set, it means a lot to me, and isn't something I can replace easily. He just kept telling me "things are meant to be used"
Last night he broke one of the small cups while I was asleep and I think fully intended to not tell me. I noticed this morning. Now I can't use the set for entertaining anymore.
I'm pissed. Not like yelling and having a fight, but pissed. Instead of apologising he just tells me "things break" and "it's just things".
AITA for wanting him to understand why I care about a cup? Or are they just things? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
1nXkITUIPNduLte6cKHesprV5lYJfeAO | b95a6f | {
"description": "wearing glasses despite having good vision",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA if I wore glasses despite having good vision? | I have perfect vision, so I don't need to wear glasses. My dad has them and I've tried them on a few times for fun and they really fit my face, I think I look better with them. My uncle wears glasses as well, just normal window glass inside because he doesn't need them either, so I'm considering buying some as well.
Recently I talked about it with my friend (who wears glasses) and she got quite mad saying I'd be wearing her disability (she has really shitty vision) as a fashion statement. WIBTA if I get myself glasses? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 32,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 35,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
VBXT4a2LKJgLsp54qYNTeZ1OjGf2Gn1i | b8hp49 | {
"description": "leaving my friend after his epilepsy \"attack\"",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for leaving my friend after his epilepsy “attack” | My friend had epilepsy few months ago. I went to check on him early in the morning, cause he didn’t come to work other day. I tried to woke him up, he looked like he is just sleepy. I thought it’s morning, he is probably still in that state of being asleep. He looked like that to me. So I left him alone, thinking that he was just exhausted.
Took my girlfriend out. In the afternoon his friend texted me that I should check on him cause he is not responding on social media’s. It was not bothering me, but I didn’t think of him having epilepsy or being sick. So I went to his room later in the evening, we live on dorms cause we are students, not together but close, took my girlfriend with me. I started to think there is something suspicious. He didn’t move whole day, I checked on him, he didn’t respond, couldn’t move properly and had blood on his lips from bitting. So I called an ambulance, they came and took him to hospital.
Am I asshole for not checking on him properly in the morning? I probably left my friend after epilepsy for whole day maybe more. I feel like I should have called ambulance earlier.
Sorry for English. I am not from English speaking country.
TL;DR: left my friend after epilepsy “attack” for probably more than 24 hours. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
bu0G8fZPAJaaxsh0J8ATonSD9DKf2Z6A | 9x7efa | {
"description": "wanting to completely end things with this girl",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For wanting to completely end things with this girl? | So me and this girl dated briefly, about a month, before she decided that we should break up and she only cited that “we went to fast” as a reason. Obviously I wasn’t okay with this, but said that’s fine anyway. Two days later we’re back in my dorm kissing so obviously I think “well she obviously didn’t mean it, I guess things are fine now”. However she’s mentioned recently that we aren’t dating, we’re more than friends, and she wants to get back together eventually, which when put together are all very confusing to me. The thing is she tried to deescalate our relationship again by saying we should stop kissing too, because for now we’re just friends. Five minutes later we were hooking up again, and we did it again today.
When I ask her about it she says she does want to get back together, but she keeps trying to deescalate our relationship. She’s said that there’s other things going on in her life that led to her breaking up with me but she hasn’t told me them. Even when we were dating she slowed us down once, then did it twice after we broke up. I just feel so strange about this scenario and I almost feel like I’m being strung along or something. Would I be an asshole if I just totally called things off right now? I feel bad because I really like her, and she does seem to like me but there’s just something that she’s not telling me that really makes this situation feel strange. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ng3Pen1CVgtgy5IheKGNRPKNF1G6uJZn | b1s831 | {
"description": "expecting my best friend to check on me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for expecting my best friend to check on me? | TW: mental illness.
I’ve been chronically ill for several years, but the last two were my worst. I could count down like, 6-7 mental illnesses, but that’s not the issue here. That’s just for context.
Straightforwardly putting this, I tried to take my life recently. A little loneliness mixed up with mania, I’d had almost enough. I was scared as hell, I called so many people to just talk to me for five minutes or something, but nobody picked up. I eventually called someone I wasn’t talking to as a last straw, and he picked up. So here I am, writing this.
I eventually told my best friend what happened. I normally don’t involve anyone in my own issues, because I know it can be emotionally taxing. But I wanted her to understand that I’m absolutely desperate and I just need someone, even if it’s just for five minutes a week.
She has her final exams (so do I), and I feel bad for putting this pressure on her. But to be very honest, I know internally that she has been studying non-stop for 2 years, and has not had time for me EVER in that time (but wouldn’t hesitate to call me when she needed me). She hasn’t even picked my calls up in 2 years. I’ve mentioned it, she says sorry and that she’ll try to be here more.
I’ve told her repeatedly that if she can’t be there for me, I understand but it’s very tiring to be promised one thing and then continuously being disappointed. But she denies it each time, says she’ll be there the next time. And then doesn’t do it.
AITA/Am I being unreasonable? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
yptwXlurhY1yRpFrA5tJhyd1gVeJOEX9 | b6rg03 | {
"description": "reporting a cheater to the professor",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I reported a cheater to the professor? | Today was our final exam in our college history class. This guy has been sitting next to me in every class since the quarter started. He always shows up late, spends all of class on his phone, and always has his hood up, slouching in his chair. Today was the final. I saw him take his phone out under the table and scroll through the course’s slideshows that the teacher had posted for our use to study.
I take my studies very seriously and it kind of bugged me that I work really hard in the class while someone else can get the same grade by cheating. Obviously that’s his decision, moral or not.
Would I be the asshole if I reported him to the teacher? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Yp0CsjSlY50icApKzBalPQFsQ0KletFp | az2gxv | {
"description": "giving the police information on how my friend committed crime",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for giving the police information on how my friend committed crime? | I was at House A when I asked my friend to accompany me to House B where my clothes are kept , she went with me and while I was packing the dirty laundry in my bag to take it to House C where my girlfriend stays and so that she would do my laundry, while at House B packing my friend quickly ran out and came bak with something I could not tell what it was at the time
And quickly hid it in my bag one I used to pack my dirty laundry. And I asked what was that but obviously in an uninterested manner, she replied to me and said it's nothing you'll see when you get to House A. I was like cool and then we left to House A before I could later on move to house C. She uhm unpacks that which she took there by House B out
And I note that it's women synthetic hair/Weave which apparently is pricey and I am there perplexed and asked where she took that and she explained she took it from House B laundry line. And later on that day two girls which stay by House B came to house A to ask if we hadn't seen their synthetic hair/Weave and I was tipped by this friend to say no I didn't see anything
And so I obliged and said I saw nothing, and then they approached her and told her she took it and they exchanged some words and the two girls said that they gonna call the cops and so they did and they later on at around 8pm pitched at House A to ask my friend whether she took the hair and had a mini questioning with her at that time
And so I couldn't leave to House C because of all that drama, so I was waited for the following morning. And left and the following day the cops came to fecth me and there she was in a car they took us to a waiting cell
And they asked for statements and I told them truth but she went on to lie and they released me 2 hours later and they kept her there for 5 days
When she got out she was no longer friends with me and never talked to me anymore and told people that I was lying about her and all that so AITA?
TL;DR my friend stole and I got her arrested | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
MMXxNgEb22PTn864KkqOHJbcIiI5P6JJ | arq3pv | {
"description": "spending time with my girlfriend in the room with a shared roommate",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for spending time with my girlfriend in the room with a shared roommate? |
One year ago, during the spring semester of my freshman year at college, I started dating my first girlfriend, and my roommate, being a good friend, would leave the room 3-5 times a week for several hours late at night so that we could spend time in there. However, I never explicitly told him to leave in a hostile way, and I always made it clear that he wouldn’t have to leave if he didn’t want to. She would also spend the night maybe 1-2 times a week, but I also would ask him if it was OK each time and made sure I had the green light. For about the first month or so, we did abuse the room usage. A couple times he stayed outside the room until past midnight. After this, he expressed annoyance at me, and eventually I realized I was being an asshole. Even though I never explicitly told him he couldn’t come back in, I was taking advantage of his kindness by asking for extreme hours of having the room to myself.
Over the summer, we talked about the situation and I apologized, and said that I would try to be a better roommate. The next semester (fall) we were once again sharing a room, and this time I tried to hang out at my girlfriend’s place more. My girlfriend and I usually study together almost every day. Although there is a living room, I prefer studying in my room because I have a desk setup with a monitor, and there are usually people in the living room watching TV or talking. We were in my room 3 times or less a week and spent the other days at her place or on campus, and I never commanded him to leave the room, but I did ask about 4 times over the course of the semester when I knew he didn't have anything important to do. A couple of these times were late at night but did not alter his sleeping schedule since he sleeps very late. I tried to schedule sex around his schedule, but he rarely leaves the room, and only attended one of his classes, which my girlfriend was also taking. He was generally in the room 24/7 (except to make a quick food run), but he would leave the room 2x a week for a couple hours or less when we studied in there, even though I never asked him to.
From his point of view, he said that he feels a societal pressure, and that we wanted him to leave the room when we were just there studying. I always tried to make it clear that he didn’t have to leave, ever, if he didn’t want to, and told him this many times. Also, my girlfriend and I are very quiet, and spend most of the time in the room studying. She would sit on my bed and study and I would sit at my desk. We didn’t talk loudly or laugh loudly. However, my roommate was still extremely frustrated that he had to deal with me and my girlfriend. He always said that us being in the room made him leave and complained that we “locked him out” to me and our friends. He said he feels like a dog being let in and out of his room.
Fast forward to this semester, because of his increasing frustration, I tried to have my girlfriend in the room even less. Since the start of the semester, we haven’t been in the same room as him more than 30 minutes (such as right before or after we go to an event), and I only have sex with her when he leaves the apartment. There were 3 times he came back to the room while we were having sex and knocked on the door. At this point I really don’t want him to be annoyed so as soon as he knocks my girlfriend and I put on our clothes, no matter where we are, and rush out of the room to not bother him. This would take 2-5 minutes tops, but each time this happened I could tell he was really angry. I should have given him a warning that we were using the room, but I didn’t want to make him feel like he was locked out of the room, and I made sure to leave immediately each time he came back. The last time we did this, last weekend, was when some of our friends came over. My roommate and about five of our friends were playing smash (a video game), and my girlfriend and I were kind of just sitting there not playing. We went into the room and it eventually led to sex. Later, as our friends are leaving, he says that he is very annoyed at me.
Yes, I admit having sex while our friends were over was a really cringy thing to do, and I wouldn’t do it again. However, my roommate is super angry at me. He called me selfish and ungrateful for what he has done for me and tells me that I’m an asshole. He also said that if I asked anyone else that they’d tell me I was an asshole. Honestly, I’m not sure what other people would think since I haven’t explained the whole situation that much to others. I know I was an asshole in the beginning of the relationship but since then I’ve tried to be with my girlfriend around him less and less, so I don’t really feel like an asshole at the moment. So reddit, AITA?
TL;DR
I got a girlfriend and we used to spend a lot of time in the room, but now we spend almost no time in the room when he’s there, and he still thinks I’m an asshole. | HISTORICAL | {
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K2VIL45pxl6oT4vM2egEWSLHMDu9Zet9 | b08tpu | {
"description": "wanting my family to treat me like a man",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting my family to treat me like a man | I'm transgender and all I have ever wanted is for my family to call me by my name once. But they say it's too difficult for them and that I'm too girly to really be transgender. We aren't allowed to even acknowledge it around my sister's kids because her husband doesn't want me to "corrupt" them. They won't allow me to stand up to my extended family who have been treating me like crap since I came out, my mom has even yelled at me to "not rock the boat" anymore. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
IIhO9LXT0Yr2gmamdBQ4yvmepOy62hNb | a6b5fq | {
"description": "not letting someone pass multiple cars in the emergency lane",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not letting someone pass multiple cars in the emergency lane? | So, first things first - throwaway account + first time poster.
As anyone can tell you, the California freeways are a nightmare. They are riddled with traffic and terrible drivers. This last evening, I was in traffic riding the right lane when I saw a car behind me pop out of traffic and into the emergency lane to try to pass the cars that were in front of him including me. Instead of letting him do so, I sped up to the car in front of me leaving him no room to merge and forcing him to go further up to merge into my lane. I had a passenger at the time and they tell me that the guy looked extremely pissed at what had just occurred. I'm not sure if I should've let him pass into my lane and let that be the end of it or if I became the asshole by not letting him merge. I'm not even sure if I'd be covered legally if he decided to crash into my car because he was in such rage. Was it stupid to do that? Yes, but I was wondering if I was the actual asshole in this situation. Contemplating it afterwards - I think the guy was probably just having a rough day; who doesn't? It might have been good to just give him a break instead of trying to make him more angry and potentially more dangerous to other drivers.
I'm not going to say what freeway or any identifying information here in case this shit comes back to haunt me later. Thanks | HISTORICAL | {
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"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
07w0PPzihasb9KfOhml1wEx0A8osGPee | awodz5 | {
"description": "offering the elderly couple one seat instead of two",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for offering the elderly couple one seat instead of two. | So, we came to Hawaii for our wedding anniversary. We didn't have a direct flight. So we ended up not sleeping for 24 hrs straight and was tired as hell and couldnt even stand properly.
After landing, we boarded the shuttle from airport to rental car building and we had to stand because it was already crowded. Some people got down in the next stop and we got place to sit, and the shuttle was full again.
Then an elderly couple entered the shuttle. Me and my wife shared one seat and offered them the other one where the lady sat down.
After getting down at the rental car, the old man started saying that we should have given him a seat as well because we were a younger couple, he also said it's not in our culture to respect elder people..bla bla bla...I just walked away without any word with him.
I would 9 out of 10 times give up my seat, but this was just an exception.
So, AITA ? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
nmV001JcFnfir0uBkFMyLRt2MjaKXbvF | b7lge9 | {
"description": "flipping off my classmate",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for flipping off my classmate? | tl:dr at the bottom.
Ok so I'm a mobile user so no paragraphs.
So my classmate (M 15) is this super famous guy who has this super huge following. He wrote on a piece of paper His name and my name(M 15). He knows that I'm not that famous because I just like sitting in the corner listening to the teacher. So he asked each of our classmates to vote who they like better. Obviously, they chose my classmate.
The thing is, this isn't the first time he did this. I have politely asked him to stop before but he never does. This is now the 5th time he did this to me. We had like a super fucking long conversation that went like this.
Me: Wtf man why did you do this again
Him: I just wanted to see who they liked better.
Me: I've had enough of your bullshit *name*. Can you just fucking stop you shithole.
He stopped and started CRYING like I was devilspawn.
My classmates said that I was an asshole but I think they were biased towards him.
So Reddit, AITA?
tl:dr: Classmate asks whole class who they like more. Pisses me off because he did it 5 times already. I cuss at him. He cries like I am the devilspawn. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
VHWutPt5kdiQ9kB1132fc8mwGr178wwb | a2ixoz | {
"description": "dumping out the wine",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 83
} | AITA for dumping out the wine | I’m staying at an all inclusive where every day they bring a bottle of red wine to the suite. I mentioned I don’t like red wine and asked for a different option. They said it’s the only alcohol they will bring, so I’m dumping it down the drain rather than letting the hotel take all 14 bottles back when I leave. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 81,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 83
} | WRONG |
EHA0ByR6yY4dXDhOCQLKVhYo13QtBQA5 | ad5ngt | {
"description": "kicking my friend of 17 years out of the group",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for kicking my friend of 17 years out of the group. | So to give some context, I've been friends with this girl, let's call her Clara, since I was roughly five, our parents knew each other, and we grew up together. We were tight right up until we graduated and went to college, along with three others who formed our tight knit friend group. Two of the others went to college in the same place as me, and the third stayed in our home town and started working, while she went to a college about two hours away. We still talked a lot of Facebook, and as none of us were too far from home and spent summers at home there were many opportunities to hang out etc, however, in the three years since we have started college we have seen each other only a handful of times.
It all seemed to escalate after she left my 21st birthday after about half an hour, stating that her lift home was leaving and she had no choice, however, other friends coming in late saw her go to a night club across the road with her boyfriend. Shortly after, another girl in our friend group found out her girlfriend had been cheating on her. Rather than support her friend, Clara became close to the girl who had cheated and reported our conversations back and forth with her.
Eventually I got drunk, and was with the others for a night out, which Clara had declined to come to. I found they all felt like they had not been close to her for some time, and they felt uncomfortable having her in the Facebook group chat as they felt they couldn't talk openly in it any more. I created a new chat without her in it that night, and we let the other one die. The only communication in it after that was her asking us to go to her birthday, which none of us committed to. Shortly after that she left and hasn't spoken to any of us since.
Am I the asshole for being the one to make the move that ultimately led to her being iced out of the group? As the one who's known her the longest I feel like I at least owed her a conversation to her face about it, but instead we went behind her back.
TL;DR: am I the asshole for effectively cutting out ab old friend who'd grown distant during college from our friend group ? | HISTORICAL | {
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K5RfLYwV0rf3UgtEpcixQcmR8Q66FsgW | ap8g9i | {
"description": "selling the stuff my stepmom bought me on eBay",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA if I sell the stuff my stepmom bought me on eBay | My stepmom likes to buy stuff for me to try and get me to like her. She started dating my dad last year a few months after him and my mom split and they got married a couple of months ago. I dont particularly like her and she knows it so she tries to buy me stuff to make me like her. I’ve told my dad to tell her to stop buying me stuff but he said she likes getting stuff for me and I should be grateful.
Im thinking about selling the stuff she bought me on eBay. I could do with the money and maybe they’ll get the picture. AITA if I do this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
ZCYPh79gmWPHnwHUnDyIg6fEU41IXmgX | b5mtf9 | {
"description": "getting my coworker written up for continually condescending to me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I got my coworker written up for continually condescending to me? | My coworker and I are both women in our late twenties, but we have had very different lives. I come from a middle class home, I’ve attended university and am fairly religious. My coworker hasn’t had the easiest life and of her own admission has had a crazy past. Our different backgrounds has never been problem for me. However she is continually dismissive and condescending to me. At first I thought this was just her being passionate, but I’ve realized it is only with my opinion. I decided that she probably didn’t realize it bothered me and that I would tell her it was an issue as I thought we were on friendly terms.
Note- I am not talking opinions on politics or religion, but traditional office talk.
Today we were talking in a group about troubled friends and crazy times we had when we were younger. Now I can’t compete with my coworker when it comes to crazy times but she cut me off anytime I tried to comment. Finally I asked why she wouldn’t let me speak, she told me she knew where I grew up and I couldn’t understand and shouldn’t contribute. I told her I found it hurtful that she was so assumptive about my life without really knowing me and wouldn’t let me voice my opinion. Her response was “and”, so I told her it hurt my feelings. She told me “it’s not my fault if treating you like that hurts your feelings, that’s on you.” I was floored, I didn’t know how to respond, so I just said, okay then, and turned back to my computer. I was then friendly the rest of the day.
I’m mad because this coworker continually tells everyone how kind and open minded she is and how her biggest pet peeve is when others are ignorant and small minded. And while she can be very compassionate, she has no problem bowling over, and condescending to anyone who doesn’t fit into her box and regularly brags about people she has put in their place, normally in an abrasive and offensive manner. Another coworker of ours recently got upset with her for similar behaviors and he got written up because she made such a stink about it. Her behavior however is not only unchecked but she has no regard for how it affects others.
In the past I had mentioned to our manager that I found her to be condescending to me and that it bothered me, my manager asked me to come to her if there was a specific issue. Now this has been going for on for a few months and I just let it roll off because I am non confrontational, but I am pissed that she couldn’t give a shit that she is offending me and intentionally dismissing me.
WIBTA if I related the full account to my manager and told her that I am deeply offended by my coworkers response and I wanted action taken? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
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} | RIGHT |
NNVgcTiiYVLVezDhNESEhCUxn2C2Ui9S | aj5umj | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend that her clothes are no longer appropriate",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 149
} | WIBTA if I told my girlfriend that her clothes are no longer appropriate? | My girlfriend and I had a baby a few months ago. Prior to the pregnancy, my girlfriend liked to flaunt her body and I was fine with that. She naturally started dressing more modestly for the pregnancy. However, now that she's given birth and her stomach has mostly bounced back, she's gone right back to clothes that have her boobs hanging out, her midriff showing, or are so tight on her butt that she could split the seams if she sits wrong.
I naturally still think she's sexy, but I don't think this is an appropriate way for a mother to dress, especially considering that our daughter will grow up seeing this and will emulate it. WIBTA if I told her she needs to tone it down? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 149,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 149
} | WRONG |
faMDb8X3CB7za9GvvkmpWyhetwM8wsER | b1w12h | {
"description": "having my boss deal with a hateful coworker",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for having my boss deal with a hateful coworker? | Sorry for any formatting issues. I'm on my phone.
I work in a building with all women, we all vary in ages. I'm 33 and the coworker, I'll call her Sara, is in her late 40's, so it's not like she's a teenager or anything. A lot of gossiping and talking trash behind people's back is a common occurrence there, it's just unfortunately how it is. It's crazy unprofessional but you learn to ignore it.
I used to work closely with Sara and thought we were legit friends. We talked outside of work, even. After we stopped working closely together, I found out that apparently we weren't friends like I thought. She was talking badly about me behind my back to anyone who would stand still long enough. To be fair, she talks trash about a lot of people behind their backs, so it's not like I'm special or anything. Just sucked cause I thought we were friends.
Anyway, other coworkers kept telling me the stuff she was saying and I was trying to not let it get to me...but it was getting to me and I was pissed but I wanted to avoid more drama so I didn't do anything about it. Recently a childhood friend of mine had died and I found out while at work. I hadn't seen him in years, but I was still upset. I wasn't crying or making a scene over it, but everyone could tell I was bummed out. I told a few coworkers about it when they asked me what was wrong, which lead to someone mentioning it to Sara.
She started talking shit about me for being upset over it! One of the things she said was about how she lost a parent 6 months ago and wasn't moping around upset about it like I was and basically said it was stupid of me to be upset over it. This was literally the day I found out about his death. It was actually within a few hours of me finding out he had died.
I was livid when I was told about what she said. I'd been ignoring the other stuff she says about me but this was the straw that broke the camel's back. I didn't care if talking trash is normal there and that she does it all the time...this time I felt she crossed a line. I went to my boss (I was entirely too angry to confront her myself and my boss knows about Sara's attitude and trash talking people) and told her that it felt like Sara was being a bully at this point, this was different then the usual stupid gossiping/shit talking and I wanted her to make Sara stop. She agreed and talked to Sara.
Naturally, some see me as the asshole for taking her comments personally and having our boss talk to her.
So. Was I the asshole? Should I have ignored it like I usually do? I was entirely too angry to talk to her myself and that would have just given her more to talk about. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
NyCVK7R3x0geEKDsm1ICVrJEObNvmIA2 | b7x6e4 | {
"description": "refusing to reconcile with my neice",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for refusing to reconcile with my neice? | So I am not even sure where to begin with this shitstorm. But I am bringing this up because my mom and dad usually have my niece over during spring and summer breaks making them awkwardly always have to tell me to not come over and visit. I have also actively not attended Christmas for the past 5 years. This has caused my grandma a lot of distress because it's the one time of year my whole family gathers together.
Getting down to the issue, 5 or so years back I was still living at my parents home (at 23) and my boyfriend(24) ended up moving in with me for a couple years so we could save up to get our own place. Winter break rolls around and my niece 11 at the time is spending a week with us. Normal week nothing weird. I was pretty much in charge of taking care of her. The thing that was bothering me though was she had gotten a kindle for Christmas and was going into chat sites. She showed me some chats she was having with guys admitting they were 20 or older and she was telling them she was 13. I got concerned and let my mom know so we changed the wifi password and pretended the internet was down the rest of her stay.
Fast forward almost a year later to October my mom shows up at my work in the middle of my shift and tells my boss there is a family emergency and I need to leave work. She drives me to a coffee shop and basically says that my niece accused my boyfriend of molesting her to a counselor at her school. This caused him to be kicked out of the house with no warning, I went with him we slept in our car for a week then at my grandma's for another luckily we found an apartment after that. I'm glossing over a lot of hardship and drama so we can get to the point.
So a few years pass things are awkward I pretty much convinced my whole family minus my sister and her husband aka my niece's parents that my boyfriend was innocent and finally she even confessed to my mom just this past winter break that nothing happened now that she is 16 and a bit more mature. Basically she broke down crying and felt awful and just wanted to see us again. I'd also just got married to said boyfriend so I think this sparked the conversation.
My mom is fully expecting me to have a chat with her and try to work things out so I can rejoin Christmas. I just feel like she ruined a huge part of my life. I'm still getting anxiety stress just typing this out. I get that she was just a dumb kid with overactive fantasies. Am I maybe angry at the wrong person?
Tldr; neice accused my boyfriend(now husband)of molesting her, years later confessed it wasn't true. Mom wants me to reconcile with her so I can attend Christmas. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
LgS8axPJLtxEdaHq2DopvUx2BgA3zEzL | aklaa9 | {
"description": "being frustrated at my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being frustrated at my Girlfriend | AITA for being frustrated at my Girlfriend?
Well, this is my first post on this subreddit, so sorry if my formatting is terrible. This is also likely to be pretty long, so sorry. For background I'm 18m, my GF is 18F. For background we've been together for 5 years, we're currently in the second year of college and we went to the same secondary school, and are in the same college.
To get right into it, about 2 years ago my GF and I were in the middle of our final exam period of secondary school. We were the two highest performing students in the school so we had expectations and it was stressful. My girlfriend reacted badly, and starting having panic attacks, then depressive episodes, this progressed into self-harm. When my GF told me, I reacted badly. I realised that I was an asshole, and tried to be more understanding and supportive, rather than punishing her, as she was already punishing herself. The cycle of her harming herself and me treating her wounds carried on for about 3 or for months, when she did it so hard she fainted from bloodloss. It was then where I got her therapy, as she was suffering from anxiety at this time too. She wouldn't speak to anyone besides me, and her parents unless she felt safe and comfortable. (which wasn't often.) Her therapy was pretty successful in calming her, and lessening her anxiety until an English exam.
In the English exam she told me she had seen something. A person, in a black suit with no face. She was hallucinating. This terrified me, and I went to her therapist. She had no idea what to do and nor did my GF. (I've told them since then, but at this point, GF was too scared to tell her parents and I was l too much of a pushover to tell them anyway).
We were sort of stuck, so I taught her how to properly care for her cuts, and I started carrying a first aid kit. Neither of us were adults at that point, so we couldn't seek medical help without calling her parents. So we waited, it wasn't too bad at first but it rapidly got worse.
Towards the latter end of secondary school, I stopped listening to her telling me it would make it worse, and I told her parents myself, and she started reviewing Therapy outside of school, which sort of made her symptoms better, and she was finally seen by a doctor. She was diagnosed with psychosis, but nothing further. She was prescribed Aripiprazole, which helped deal with her hallucinations, but not a lot. She was delusional by then, but it stopped the delusions almost entirely. She'd still be nervous about going out in public, but she'd speak to people and didn't believe what used to say (for the record, she believed that she was personally selected by a secret organisation, and that she had betrayed them somehow, it was her job to decode radio transmissions that only she heard, and decipher the codes in them but she was being hunted down, by the men in black suits, trying to stop her).
All this time, GF was very reluctant to get help, even speaking to her therapist was an issue. I had to be in her therapy sessions with her, just so she'd be comfortable enough to speak at all. Her grades were dropping, she was getting worse and I couldn't do anything about it. There was nothing I could do as we only had a few weeks of school left at that point. But things got even worse when we started college. The first thing I did was set up a person for her to talk to in college, like a mental health mentor. I informed GF's parents about this, and how GF is completely reliant on me, (she struggled to get class work done without me there). I didn't get much a response from them. The Dad's old fashioned, he believed that GF should quit college and try to get a job. Her Mum was scared. She had no idea what to do, nor did I. We told the Mentor she had, and she suggested outside therapy on top of the sessions she was getting in college, as they weren't really doing anything. Eventually her dose was increased to 15mg of Aripiprazole, but I'm still just taking care of her, nothing else. I'm trying my best to help her, she's suicidal at this point. She says she doesn't want to die, but that other people's thoughts are being projected into her head and they are telling her to do it. She's attempted suicide 3 times by now, but she's so reluctant to do anything about it. I understand her difficulty in trying to tell people and get help. I'm getting therapy for my depression at this point, and I find myself getting mad at her, I know it isn't her fault that this is happening. I kneo she can't help it, but it makes me really mad that she's not even attempting to help herself, and nobody but me seems to be trying, not even her parents. I'm just getting mad at everyone involved as nobody seems to be doing anything, am I justified for being mad? AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
7uj6ObvVpOzmtksvpUemR04crIRrpbUG | akib1w | {
"description": "asking my roommates to turn off the lights when they leave a room",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for asking my roommates to turn off the lights when they leave a room. | I live in an apartment with 5 other people. The electricity is in my name, so everyone Venmo’s me when it’s time to pay the bill. Last month our bill went way up for numerous reasons, but one of the most wasteful reasons was these people just leave lights on all the time.
Now whenever I go into a room and the light is on I test the group and ask politely that everyone make sure to turn off the lights when they leave a room.
Now everyone is trying to come up with a time frame that they can leave the light. For example one person said, “If I’m just switching my laundry I’m only gone for a minute, so it doesn’t matter if I leave it on.
I’m not crazy, if you’re leaving the room to grab something and come back I have no problem with leaving the light on. However, I believe if you’re not actively doing something on the room just turn the light off and turn t back on when you comeback.
TLDR: Roommate’s leave lights on and I constantly text the group asking people to, “please turn off the lights when you leave a room.” | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
wW8XLix98VZFaHdUKsm72bMWTWvKwKHM | apsazu | {
"description": "getting mad at a date who kinda stood me up, then met me only to tell me she had barely an hour to hang out",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For getting mad at a date who kinda stood me up, then met me only to tell me she had barely an hour to hang out. | Tinder date. During the same day of the date, I find out she lives close to work. I invite her to lunch even though we are going on a date later on the same day. Everything was fine during lunch, we decide to text later to decide where to go after I get off work. She goes to hang out with some friends in the meantime.
30 min before I get off work, I text her asking where she is or where we should meet. No answer for a while.
I finish work and outside the office I call her, no answer either. I decide Im gonna call her one more time once I reach the metro station since after that there would probably no going back. If she doesn't answer it basically means I got ghosted. I call her when I reach the metro no answer. A friend group was having drinks like 30min away, I had told them I wasn't going since I had this date, but since I was essentially stood up I told them I had was coming.
When I was reaching the bar my friends where at, she calls me and tells me her battery died and that's why I couldn't reach her, she is sorry and that we should meet anyways. At this point I was kinda upset, but I felt like this could happen to anyone and I shouldn't get so mad. I tell her ok let's meet in 50 min in another Station. I have one beer with my friends and leave them ( they weren't so happy about this) . It takes me another 30 min to get to her. She had to wait maybe 10 min at the station. When I reach her she doesn't really apologize again about what happened but informs me that her friend was just laid off work and she wants her and other friends to hang out so she feels better. So she wants to cut the date short, even shorter than it would be already.
So we have maybe 1 beer each and then we leave.
Now I was kinda mad that I left my friends for her but she wouldn't do the same for me. I felt disrespected.
Other things to consider.
I was leaving for vacation the next day, so I tried to make this happen on that day because there would be no other chance for 3 weeks, she knew this.
She had an early job interview that came up during the time between lunch and the date. So even without friend breakdown, the date wouldn't be able to last so long. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
3bk5DtFLty8I1sHtLLYx5Wb6JwYQzxoD | b4d9xo | {
"description": "trying to get closure",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for trying to get closure? | Okay, so here’s the deal (I’m Autistic BTW, not an excuse):
In the summer after Senior year I reached out to a girl I had previously had a crush on, asked to junior prom, and been very clear about my feelings for her. Things never worked out and I had moved on. I had no romantic intentions at the time (we were friends by the end of senior year so it’s not like we were strangers).
We started talking and snapping, pretty soon she asked me to go to a museum with her. I thought it was a good time. That afternoon, I suggested going to a different museum next week. She agreed and also suggested going to a movie.
On the morning of our second date, she said she’s sick with a fever and can’t go. She ignored my next few snaps for about three days before I realized something was up and stopped trying to contact her. She never tried to reestablish contact with me.
Here’s the twist:
My school runs a summer camp for newer highschoolers interested in getting a leg up in a certain extracurricular before the season starts. We both happened to be counselors that year, so I had to be around her for a week.
For the first four days, I didn’t mention anything about what happened earlier in the summer.
On Friday, I ran into her alone and asked her if she can talk about things. I told he she didn’t have to if she didn’t want to, but maybe we could have a conversation at some point because I was pretty confused and hurt. At this point I was pretty desperate for some sort of closure because I was worried about what I had done wrong earlier, if I did anything to hurt her, etc. She said sure and we agreed to talk later about it.
The next day I shot her a quick text letting her know I was ready to talk whenever. She didn’t respond. I figured this was probably it, so I sent a longer one the next day, something along the lines of:
“Hey, so I’m sorry about whatever I did to push you away and I’m just really confused and kinda hurt by everything that’s happened. I’m not sure where to go from here but I do miss talking to you. If you want to talk to me at any point, feel free to let me know. Anyways, if we never talk again, have a nice life.”
Next day I’m blocked on all social media. I haven’t tried to contact her again.
So that’s the story. This has been bugging me for a long time because looking back I feel like I overstepped my boundaries and I think my desire for closure was irrational. If this had been someone I had met a week ago on Tinder I would absolutely be the asshole here I feel, but I’d known this person for four years.
What do you think? WITA? Everyone I’ve talked to IRL about it says I’m NTA but I’m worried they’re just telling me that bc I’m a friend and they don’t want to call me a dick to my face.
| HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
61fGVCSzXKpSVZwrt2xR763BGEVwuuU4 | a2wuqu | {
"description": "wanting to continue a friendship with someone my boyfriend doesnt like",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for wanting to continue a friendship with someone my boyfriend doesnt like? | This has a pretty big backstory to it so bare with me. At the beginning of the year my boyfriend and I became very close this guy, we'll call him C. It got to a point where every Friday C would come to our place and stay with us all the way up to tuesday morning, we'd party and play xbox, then he would go home and we'd go to our jobs and such and then do it all over again the next friday. During those times C would occasionally do coke. My boyfriend was an addict when he was younger but is clean and has been for a very long time so we never participated but we gave him the greenlight to do it and it was never an issue. Well one night when C was over, my boyfriend went to walk the dog and C offered me some coke. I did some before my boyfriend got back and never told him about it. This happened two more times within the month before I stopped accepting coke from C. I understand that I am definitely the asshole in that situation. I did later come clean to my boyfriend and he was very hurt by it, we dont keep anything from each other and my boyfriend felt that this was a betrayal, I made a decision to do a drug he was sensitive about with another man behind his back. I apologized and have been taking the extra steps to earn my boyfriend's trust again.
Here's where I'm wondering if I am the asshole. My boyfriend told C how hurt he was by what we did and our friendship wont be how it was before. C apologized, but has a habit of becoming defensive when confronted with any wrongdoing so his apology was moreso half an apology and half deflecting any blame. My boyfriend understandably is not satisfied with the apology and we haven't talked to C that much since. C knows that until he makes things right with my boyfriend I wont be talking to him, and he says he's going to make things right. My boyfriend told me that even with a genuine apology from C he probably won't forgive him. I miss hanging out with C, we were all very close and it's hard to make friendships as good as the one we had. However, if my boyfriend chooses not to forgive him, I will stand by him and do the same. I did tell my boyfriend that I do want to be C's friend and my boyfriend thinks that it's messed up that I'd still want that after all of this. So am I the asshole for wanting to be friends with C? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Ix9livcfEzgwQIkbqoAZyBGulsqu9Fp6 | auy69e | {
"description": "owning only one rat",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for owning only one rat? | TL;DR at bottom
This is a bit different from what I usually see here, and it takes a little bit insight into rats as pets to understand, but I'll try to explain as best I can.
Rats are social animals and live in mischiefs, usually large groups. So when owning them as pets, it's best to always get more than one, since with a humans usual schedule they can get lonely.
Wells, I've owned rats for quite a few years now, and I have owned them in pairs for so far.
Well, I had a pair of hairless males, and one died (Benis), leaving the other boy (Albert) alone. I wasn't about that, and after a week I adopted 2 more males (Noot and Noah) from a rescue to keep him company until he passed (old bastard man).
Albert HATED them, and after trying and failing to introduce them together or even have have their cages relatively close over a period of time, I gave up because Albert was getting old and sadly, dying. So I spent the rest of his mortal existence with him alone and alternating spending time holding him or the other two.
After he passed, I was back to two rats, and this was something I was familiar with, but it turns out Noot had cancer (horrible cancer according to vet), and he had to be put down.
So that leaves Noah. He's been a single male for a couple of months now, and he seems happy enough. I'm home 5 days out of 7 and when I'm at school my grandma spends a lot of time holding him and stuff.
He gets a lot of free roam time and interacts with our small dog under supervision. He even sleeps in bed with me because I feel so bad about having just one rat and I don't want him to feel alone lol.
I've been considering getting another male but my grandma is kind of afraid to since we went through a sequence of 3 pet rat deaths. Older males are also hard to introduce to eachother and I already failed once.
So I guess I just want to know if despite me being extra with him if I'm still kind of abusing him by not getting him a new boyfriend?
TLDR; A series of unfortunate events led to one adult male rat being the last standing. I don't think getting a partner is going to work do to history. AITA if I just continue to smother my one rodent in affection? | HISTORICAL | {
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"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
cT0RFu0XvL0iHaUaA6we1hTsbFBoNRcQ | av5gtn | {
"description": "not talking to my brother except for on holidays",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for not talking to my brother except for on holidays? | I have two things to begin with:
1.) I'm on mobile, so I'm sorry for the weird format.
2.) I'm underage and unable to move away from my brother.
So my brother and I have never been very close (besides when we were babies-toddlers). I have tried many times to build/ rebuild a/our relationship. I've tried playing video games he likes, letting him use my phone (he doesn't have one), and giving him mobile hotspot in the car. I know these are superficial things, but that's what my brother's into.
Every time I try to do something with my brother he ends up screaming at me, and I end up in my room crying. Many times I have barricaded myself in my room so that I don't have to worry about him coming in. My brother seems to only care about one thing, his X-box/video games, so I'm not sure if he'd care if when I moved out we'd stop talking.
I wouldn't cut out complete contact with him because of my parents and holidays and such, but I wouldn't talk to him if I didn't have to. I really would like to lose all contact with my immediate family, but I feel like that'd be too stressful, so I figure the next best thing is my brother.
I love my brother, but I'm not sure if he loves me. So WIBTA for not talking to my brother? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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} | RIGHT |
v7jHiaKtUmXKemCOuNpScAOY1PwdpPFg | abj38j | {
"description": "telling my friend that I dont want to be friends with her a day after her birthday",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA if i tell my friend that i dont want to be friends with her a day after her birthday | Im in 11th grade right now and have my winter vacations going on. My friend who i call my bestfriend's birthday is on the 28th.
We used to have a lot of fights but have been somewhat fine. She is Terrible at texting, the only thing she replied back with is hahahahah or what are you doing and its frankly very pissing off but i manage. She doesn't meet me outside of school or ever wants to call. I have asked her for both plenty of times however shes always like mom wont allow or im sleeping early so i cant call or she'll say that i hate calls. In the past year, we have only called twice and both lasted less than 10 minutes. I always say fine or its okay however she goes out plenty and a lot of the times shes out to late night parties and whenever she sends me a screenshot of something, majority of the time shes on a call which is an hour or 2 long. She started dating a guy in summer and even before they started dating she used to have long hour calls with him which obviously prove that she doesnt dislike talking to people on call and can call and also proves that her mom allows her to go to places.
I have been telling her about this for a year and we have had some fights. Her birthday was a week ago and i made a plan with her to go out on her birthday as she didnt have anything planned. I woke up in the morning an hour before we had planned to meet. She texts me back and said the plan is cancelled. I was a little annoyed as i had to wake up earlier than my wake up time to go meet her however i thought nothing off it, wished her happy birthday and started playing video games as i had nothing to do. 2 hours later she and another one of her friend sends snaps of them together and i instantly got pissed off. It was her birthday so i didn't say anything.
After her birthday ended. I consulted my other bestfriend and another close friend and both told me to talk to her. I Frankly had very pissed off and annoyed and i wrote a long thing and told her that im done with her and that i deserve better. She wrote some stuff back which i didnt frankly read because it had been going on for so long and it was just the explaination of that one incident. I just said "ok". She left me on read. Its been 4 days now and both of us havent talked to each other.
AITA for telling her im done with her? | HISTORICAL | {
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pZYmF8nkbu66mwI2alCu4iQOrTx0TkGD | a6c6t1 | {
"description": "getting mad at my friend for putting my sleeping meds in my tea without me knowing",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 18
} | AITA for getting mad at my friend for putting my sleeping meds in my tea without me knowing? | I was prescribed sleeping pills yesterday although I don't think I need them. It is true I first go to sleep when most people wake up but I sleep during the day and can function the same amount a person with a normal sleep schedule could. So I decided not to them. Today my friend came over to spend the night and she made me a cup of tea, I was instantly suspicious because when I was younger my grandmother used to put my ADHD pills (which I told her I didn't want to take because they made me feel terrible) into a pumpkin pie to make me take them. But she managed to convince me she didn't by saying the tea was caffeinated to the point where she wouldn't even bother putting a pill in. I believed this until my mother popped in to ask if she put the right number of pills into my tea. I flew into a rage, poured my tea out and yelled at my friend for doing that to me. I also might have locked myself in the bathroom and starting punching myself to get the anger out (a bad habit of mine) but I managed to convince my family I was punching the wall. After that I continued yelling at my friend telling her I didn't appreciate being lied to. She tried to bite back saying I lied to my grandmother about doing my work soon when I actually have a problem finding motivation to do tasks no matter what they are. Then she left to go to bed and my grandmother said that I'd hurt my friend's feelings even though she didn't give a rats ass about my feelings when I was lied to and basically drugged by the person I care about the most. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 12,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 18
} | RIGHT |
Buci53ChjTjsNgycoSuY9asx2BCDHQb0 | aktg02 | {
"description": "telling a friend to piss off with their advice",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | AITA for telling a friend to piss off with their advice? | Context:
He and I were met online over a game and became close friends and developed feelings. We met twice, had sex a couple times during one of those trips, and I broke things off after around 7 months. I'm not interested at all anymore. He has told me has feelings but he is able to accept being friends. We used to talk every day but that has slowly tapered off as I've moved on. Not sure if that is relevant to the story but it might help.
I've been sick for over a month with a bad cough. He has asked me once or twice before if I thought about going and seeing a doctor to have it checked out. I didn't sleep well last night and was in the middle of my work day when the exchange below occurred:
\--------------------------------------------
\[5:49 AM\] Him: Morning, hope you had a good night.
\[11:31 AM\] Me: Good morning!
\[11:32 AM\] Me: I did not sleep well, I kept coughing
\[3:55 PM\] Him: You should go pick up a cough suppressant on the way home, it'll solve that problem.
\[3:55 PM\] Me: Yeah, I have a plan.
\[3:56 PM\] Him: Does it involve seeing the doctor or just chancing it for another month?
\[3:56 PM\] Me: Alright, have a good day.
\[3:56 PM\] Him: ?
\[3:57 PM\] Me: Your snarky shit
\[3:57 PM\] Him: Not at all?
\[3:57 PM\] Him: I didn't think that would offensive
\[3:57 PM\] Him: my bad
\[3:57 PM\] Him: I wasn't throwing shots
\[3:57 PM\] Him: I told you I've had a cough for over a month
\[3:57 PM\] Me: LOOOL
\[3:57 PM\] Me: Whatever
\[3:57 PM\] Me: Im not stupid.
\[3:58 PM\] Me: I dont know what your deal is, or where this is coming from.
\[3:58 PM\] Me: But it's not helpful, you sound like you're just trying to be a shit for ???? reasons.
\[3:59 PM\] Him: Well I'm genuinely sorry, that wasn't my intention. I was trying to be helpful by saying take a cough suppressant so you could sleep. Honestly wasn't talking shit or throwing shots. I have no reason or motive, like why would I just come out of nowhere to do that? Literally, there is no background there at all.
\[3:59 PM\] Me: You are
\[3:59 PM\] Me: literally
\[4:00 PM\] Me: making a jab
\[4:00 PM\] Him: Am I giving you a hard time for not going to the doctor?
\[4:00 PM\] Him: yea
\[4:00 PM\] Me: for me
\[4:00 PM\] Me: trying
\[4:00 PM\] Me: to
\[4:00 PM\] Him: but not talking sh it
\[4:00 PM\] Him: or being mean
\[4:00 PM\] Me: wait it out
\[4:00 PM\] Me: you have
\[4:00 PM\] Me: made
\[4:00 PM\] Me: the same
\[4:00 PM\] Me: comment
\[4:00 PM\] Me: before
\[4:00 PM\] Me: how
\[4:00 PM\] Me: are you not
\[4:00 PM\] Me: getting it
\[4:00 PM\] Him: because you're telling me I tried to do something I didnt, but my bad
\[4:00 PM\] Him: I get it.
\[4:00 PM\] Me: You know what you are doing and you're going to suddenly act stupid and back peddal
\[4:00 PM\] Him: LOL
\[4:00 PM\] Me: just own up to your bullshit
\[4:00 PM\] Him: dude
\[4:00 PM\] Me: Dude
\[4:01 PM\] Me: Like, what have I done to you?
\[4:02 PM\] Me: What is the difference between " giving you a hard time for not going to the doctor" and "but not talking sh it", because they are synonymous.
\[4:03 PM\] Me: Giving a hard time = talking shit.
\[4:03 PM\] Me: ???????????
\[4:03 PM\] Me: Him Today at 1:00 PM
Am I giving you a hard time for not going to the doctor?
yea
​
HimToday at 1:00 PM
but not talking sh it
\[4:03 PM\] Me: LOL
\[4:06 PM\] Him: Ok, I'm going to just back up. I'm not taking shots at you. I'm not trying to be mean to you. I have no motivation nor reason to do that. I was making a light hearted comment about not seeing the doctor, yes, but was it ill intention or meant to upset or degrade you? Not at all.
​
That isn't talking shit, that is poking fun/teasing like you and I do all the time. It isn't malicious, I'm not trying to make you mad, or be mean. I have said it before and in that same breath I said "I've had a cough for over a month before and didn't see the doctor". I' have no reason to talk shit or start something over your cough. And now you're trolling me with emotes?? Wtf?? I said my bad, it wasn't my intent to sit there and rile you up and talk shit. How did that comment boil into this? I'm so god damn confused. Fuck, my bad, I was trying to shoot the shit and tease you a bit but god damn not attack, insult, and fight you over seeing the doctor of all things.
\--------------------------------------------
There is more but wont post it unless an update is requested. You can imagine the rest - basically I just repeated myself and he couldn't understand or accept that he was giving me shit and coming at me.
​
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | WRONG |
7pEy3wheycF2fGmPpib0Z4u1aSdZveFa | b9y63q | {
"description": "angering and then ignoring a woman in the library",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for angering and then ignoring a woman in the library? | I dunno if multiple people count for an AITA but ok.
So my high school is directly next to a library, and high schoolers like me and my friends go there after school to do homework and chat while we wait for our parents to pick us up.
Today we were talking (to be honest, much louder than we should have been) and a woman who had been sitting a few tables away stormed up to us.
She gave us a condescending lecture where she said that we were supposed to do homework and how the library was supposed to be dead silent. She also said that we should all leave if we weren't going to discuss homework/school, and threatened to tell a librarian if we kept disturbing her.
The woman then said that she was doing taxes and how us teenagers were disrespecting the whole library.
Me and my friends proceeded to ignore most of what she said and talk about both homework and other random things only a tiny bit more quietly.
So the woman gave us another angry talking to, in which she ran over her previous points, and left, saying that we were too annoying.
After school, our library is usually packed with high schoolers and younger children and their parents. Naturally, it's a bit louder than a normal library, and the people that come to the library are prepared to deal with more chatter than the average library.
But did we cross a line?
I mean, we didn't want her to leave, but we also didn't want our homework to be completely boring. And she might have not known about the high school near the library.
I know this is really minor and boring but I kinda feel bad for making her leave. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
h5LaQXOMZ0GvMSjkNnKUKL3JNvuqBzZS | amj7fc | {
"description": "being possessive over my valuable electronics",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being possessive over my valuable electronics? | Mobile, sorry for formatting issues, you know the drill.
First off, I don’t come from a family that’s necessarily wealthy. We have an okay house and okay things. Nothing especially nice. Living at home is my mom, my stepdad, one adult sister, one younger sister, my baby brother (~5), and me (16, M).
I’m not the kind of person to ask for things I don’t need. I might be weird, but I really hate having money spent on me. Every time my family goes on a big $2k+ trip (yearly), I always opt to not go, and every time they try to spend big money on me, I tell them not to. It’s just not who I am.
As a result of this, whenever I want something expensive, I work for it. I usually work whenever I have breaks from school that last more than a week, and as such, I spent my last winter break working with my uncle in a different city. Long hours in a construction-esque job, 10 hours a day, every day, pouring all of my energy into getting the job done so I can make the money I want. The only days I had off over the two week break were Christmas and New Years, and I spent those days with my family.
With the money I got from this job, I bought Christmas gifts for my family ($80 transformers toy for my stepdad he’d been obsessing over, a good pillow and pillow case for my mom, some treats for my older sister, etc). I also bought some games for my Nintendo switch (which I also earned all the money for) and some party games for me and my friends. And as soon as I got back once and for all, I had about $850 left to put toward buying a PS4 and a VR headset. Given that I’ve never had anything especially nice, it really makes me happy to have something clean and brand new—not used, no scratches, no damage.
I understand that a VR is something that my family would like to experience too, so I’ve given them opportunities to use it under my direct supervision, and they took said opportunities, including my baby brother. I don’t very much mind letting them use my things as long as I’m there to make sure they stay in good condition.
However, my parents have been berating me, asking to take the PS4 and VR downstairs so that my baby brother can use it. It’s not like he doesn’t have anything to do—he watches videos on the smart TV all day and plays on the Xbox One that my family keeps downstairs (whenever he’s not too busy wrecking the house). The only qualification is that they say they’ll watch him while he plays, as this whole thing is for their entertainment, apparently.
I know my family, and I know they don’t watch him nearly as much as they should (again, he spends most of his time wrecking the house), and I don’t trust them to watch him the whole time, or even most of it. And I know my baby brother—when he gets upset with the Xbox, he throws the controllers, which often directly results in them being scuffed up and damaged when not outright broken. The other caveat is that they said they would replace the VR if it became broken, but obviously they wouldn’t put down $350 over a scratch or a scuff—the kind of thing that I take extreme care to prevent on a regular basis.
I’m really uncomfortable with this notion, and since I’ve never really had nice things before, I’m not currently willing to give up my PS4 & VR–especially to a toddler who isn’t capable of understanding the value and care that I believe should be put into it. And for my stepdad to have been telling me for the past few weeks how proud he is of me for putting in hard, honest work to earn something really nice, it feels totally wrong that just a few days later he’s asking me to cede the fruits of my strenuous labor just because they want some light entertainment. They’ve been calling me a selfish jerk for the past while.
AITA? (And please, *please* try to give me an answer that’s more morally than “you’re 16”— though I do understand that’s a factor.) | HISTORICAL | {
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M6gE0xiNgVfGK2gCc5UHhUslByXyqqN0 | 9twqxa | {
"description": "not wanting to stay friends",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to stay friends? | Backstory. I've known this friend, let's call her Mary, since my first day in public school. First day of primary school, we're friends. Primary school was a mix of on/off friendship because she always got upset and claimed we weren't friends. Next day, she's acting like nothing happened. She said later in life that she was like that because her mum was, and I accept that. But then she kept doing that through school. Ie, she got pissed at me because I wouldn't help her cheat on important tests.
When I went through a rough breakup, she stayed friends with my ex who had cheated on me. Mary's defense? "She didn't break up with me, she's my friend." I'm still sore from that despite it being four or so years ago.
Last year she got a boyfriend. Okay, cool, I'm happy for her. Quickly turns out he's toxic. Possessive as fuck and encourages bad behavior to the point I didn't want to be associated with her in any way. Not that I could anyway--her boyfriend barely let her hang out with other people without him. I think it's because he was paranoid that I (M) would take her from him. No one had such intentions.
I, and many other people, tried to tell Mary that her boyfriend was really bad for her but she called us "jealous haters" and blew us off.
Now, almost a whole year later, she's realizing that we were all right. She's talking to me more often and... I don't know if I want to respond.
Im very close to Mary's family (her grandparents see me as a grandson) and I've known her since I was 6 but I'm feeling like I should be done. She has something bad happen every few seconds it feels like and she complains *so often.* I understand people have baggage but she never talks to me about anything else but her problems. I feel like she comes to me alone for advice.
WIBTA if I cut contact?
(Obligatory mobile apology, and I didn't proofread) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5FfqKl4VE0MMXsJTNcrTlQ6qrAJX7EN8 | b799ba | {
"description": "telling my friend him revealing what I'm into to other people annoys me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for telling my friend him revealing what I'm into to other people annoys me? | Backstory, I'm (26m) part of a Meetup group in my city, been going since around August last year. It's mostly 20's and 30's people, and usually it's normal stuff like going to a bar for drinks, walks, local events, comedy that sort of thing.
Within the group, about five or six of us really hit it off and have a good friend group now, whatsapp group chats, hang out outside of meetup etc.
A few months ago, I ended up sleeping with someone from Meetup, let's call her Jane, and basically introduced her to "conventional" BDSM (paddles, restraints, gags and whatever) and particarly my sadism. No biggie.
Fast forward a few months, Jane has moved away and a few of us are attending a friend's birthday drinks, let's call her Molly, with predrinks starting at hers. I arrive at Molly's, one other person from meetup and our friend group is there, let's call him Dan (who is gay, idk if that matters), as well as Molly's friends from home. Drinks start flowing, we're having fun, drinking games etc. when somehow the conversation ends up around sex, and it's obvious everyone in the room knows about my kinks.
Turns out Jane told Dan, and Dan told everyone else in the friend group, Molly showing a picture of me to her friends saying "he's coming, he's kinky" or whatever, before I arrived. I'm a bit embarrassed but we laugh about it and in so I make everyone do the bdsmtest.org test for fun.
Fast forward to last night, it's a regularly occurring end of month drinks Meetup, we're at a bar and there are quite a few newbies. We're chatting, having fun, getting to know people as we usually do, and Dan is pretty drunk. I love the fucker, but he cannot drink for shit. He's chatting to people and making signals in my direction and saying things like "oh he's a kinky bastard" and "show everyone what arrived in the post the other day". Again, I'm embarrassed but I laugh it off and go with it. I'm not ashamed of being what I'm into, and I dont feel kinkshamed... I just don't want people I just met knowing that about me and immediately assigning it as a personality trait or something. I think we're all hanging out today to chill, so WIBTA for asking him to stop? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
xLTtpX4yKzbUXWKy19pCbfDpoTreCOsD | b4oaiz | {
"description": "not driving my mom to her \"club meeting?\"",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA: For not driving my mom to her “club meeting?” | Also I feel this is important. I’m 18, I got my drivers license at 17. So I’ve only really been driving for a year and a bit.
I have no sense of direction, I mean I’ve gotten lost following a gps before. I have no idea why but it just does not click with me.
This gives me huge driving anxiety. I’m not a bad driver in any way, but when I don’t know where I’m going, or I’m going somewhere I’ve never driven to, the anxiety physically hurts. I always get lost.
Cut to a couple nights ago. My mom asks me if I can drive her to my aunts on Friday because that’s where they’re hosting the “club meeting” that night. They basically just sit around and drink wine. My moms really white. Anyways, the drive is about 30 minutes on the highway, and despite going there for Christmas’s or family stuff occasionally, Ive never driven there. Or picked up on the directions to get there.
So I was a bit hesitant. The conversation goes as follows.
Mom: Youll be fine. You just have to drive me there then pick me up. I won’t be too late.
Me: Could (my brothers name) or dad drive you? I’m probably gonna get lost on my way home to be honest.
Mom: Are you serious (my name)?! (My brothers name) already has plans, and dad works all day. You really expect him to take time out of his day to drive me back and forth places?
Me: I don’t know I just don’t want to get lost, I have no sense of directi- *she cuts me off*
Mom: FINE, I just won’t go then. You can drive to (my girlfriends name) house no problem, but for some reason your sense of direction can’t drive me to Aunt Lindas?
Keep in mind, my girlfriend lives a five minute drive away.. my aunt lives 30 minuets away. You either have to take the highway, or country side roads to get there.
Me: I just don’t feel confident enough to drive home by myself on the highway. I get really nervous, like remember the last place I drove you and we had the gps? I STILL got lost mom..
Mom: No, it’s fine. I just won’t go. We’ll just have to take your name off the insurance if you’re not confident enough to drive then. Till we do that there’s no more using my truck. No more going to (my girlfriends name) house or driving her around.
My mom let’s me use her truck if I pay for gas.
Me: Really..??? Mom (girlfriends name) lives down the road. It’s not hard to drive ther *cut off*
Mom: But you can drive to Tims (café), you can drive to McDonald’s, Shoppers (store)?? Why can you drive to all those places? Because you pick choose everything you want to remember? I’m not paying extra on my insurance so you can not drive ME somewhere, when I ask you to. But nope, no more, I’m done (my name).
Me: I’m sorry mom, I just.. *cut off again*
Mom: I’m not having this conversation (my name). I’m done!
It’s been two days and this is still on my mind and bothering me. Me having driving anxiety is my own problem, I realize that.. but am I the asshole? Or was my mom being just a bit harsh. I may or may not have cried a bit after lol. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
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