id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
jFJ7GMfpRPzBly640TDO1KZp5oj3Ny6Y | b8thw0 | {
"description": "ghosting a friend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for ghosting a friend? | I met Alex at the beginning of freshman year of college and we were quick to become friends. We become roommates sophomore year and this is when I started to notice some problems.
Alex is an introvert, so she doesn’t like to engage in conversations all the time. I understand this since I’m also introverted, but she was pretty rude about it. For example, if I saw her in eating the living room, I’d say hi and she’d completely ignore me. She’d be texting her boyfriend with a huge smile so I know she isn’t in a bad mood, but sometimes I was just nonexistent. She’d also ignore me on the bus (all the time), which gets awkward since we’d be heading to the same classes. It got to the point where mutual friends started noticing and asking about it, so it made me really uncomfortable since I didn't know how to respond.
Alex also has a rude way of speaking sometimes. For example, if she said something to me that was a bit hurtful, instead of saying something like "sorry that upset you, that wasn’t what I meant” she’d say “you’re just sensitive.” She's told me at one point that my problems aren’t real problems, which was pretty hurtful to hear.
The way Alex was treating me was particularly upsetting since none of my high school friends came to my college, and she was the closest friend I had on campus. She was not like this at all during freshman year, and I have no idea what happened during sophomore year that would make her treat me this way. She’d done many more hurtful things that I won’t mention, but I can never be honest with her since she’d just throw it back at me and tell me to suck it up. I had big family and personal issues going on, so it was a lot for me to deal with. I was eventually diagnosed with depression.
I made the decision in junior year, where an organization that Alex and I were involved in went on a weekend retreat. As much as I didn’t want to spend the weekend with Alex and a bunch of strangers, our attendance was mandatory since we held leadership positions. Shit hit the fan when Alex early while I stayed behind. The second she left, the topic of the conversation was her. I’m talking all 40-50 people. Turns out everyone had their own grievances towards her for one reason or another, which I could all relate to, and for once my anger towards her felt justified. For once, I didn’t have anyone judging me or telling me that I’m sensitive, and at that point I felt that the best thing to do was to end my friendship with her, for the sake of my mental wellbeing.
I’m not a huge fan of ghosting people and I'd prefer talking things out and reaching a consensus. But I can't do that with Alex. I didn’t want to get into another toxic conversation where I’d be told to just grow up, and knowing me, I’d probably see where she's coming from and agree with her. I understand that Alex may have her own perspective but I just don’t want to risk it since I’m doing so much better now. It’s been 2 years since we’ve talked. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
q33E42v9su4b3tSdO1Oxv3RuQHWabzbq | 9tcer3 | {
"description": "handing out less candy to trick-or-treaters wearing their every day clothes instead of costumes",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for handing out less candy to trick-or-treaters wearing their every day clothes instead of costumes? | Some people in my neighborhood seem to think so. I don't deny them candy, I would just expect a little more effort on a holiday based around costumes. And by "less" I'm talking one piece of candy versus 2 or 3. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
Vk4jr4YfxhJGC6vcuBTBmkDZr9ZhidSF | aqk4ix | {
"description": "ignoring my partner and getting upset on valentines",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ignoring my partner and getting upset on valentines | I am so sorry guys this is a long one, I’ve never been very good at summarising.
So my partner is quite physically fit and this has unfortunately made me very conscious of my body.
For Vday I decided I would do something special and bought some lingerie(he always points some out and makes jokes and I was thinking is he trying to hint something?) and wear it for him and this is a big thing for me as unlike my past partners I am not completely confident with my body in front of him.
He did a lot for me, booked dinner, bought and made me a bouquet of nuggets which was really cool except for the fact that he ignored me and was stuck on his phone once he gave them to me and sending it too his friends, so I kind of just ended up sitting there waiting for thirty minutes to talk to him.
After this we went to dinner and he still is ignoring me here and there because he is on his phone but food was nice and with a lot of effort on my part our conversations were ok. He was even kind enough to pay for dinner(usually a splits kinda girl).
When we got home he was already falling asleep- I told him that I wanted to do something with him tonight and to please not pass out when we get home. I also had made his favourite dessert which he then complained when I served it to him , I was a litre confused because in the car he said he wanted to eat it when we got home.
I then say maybe you should go have a shower to wake up more and he does but then when I’m in the shower (3 minutes I’m very quick ) he falls asleep.
I put on the lingerie on and try to wake him up but it’s useless and he goes back to sleep and just turns away, this happens three times.
At this point I’m really upset because I’ve spent quite a bit money and was excited to do something for him but he doesn’t care or even want to do anything.
I felt really hurt because I’ve been telling him how excited I was to show him and he just couldn’t care less or pretend to.
I then change and go back to bed and all he said is are you angry at me. To which I replied Valentine’s Day is over now anyway so just go back to sleep and cue turning away.
It should be noted that multiple times I’ve tried to do things for him and he constantly just ignored me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6dLDJTbnRhjsEvphdDkeyKMpZyIeuGoR | agey8f | {
"description": "giving my brother these instructions",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for giving my brother these instructions | This happened a few months ago but looking back I think I need some outsiders opinions.
My grandmother went to the hospital because she wasn't feeling to well. A few hours later she called the house phone and said she was staying the night and wanted my older brother to pick her up because she wouldn't be able to drive herself home. She told me that I needed to tell my brother this, which I said I would. Next time I saw my brother I said, "Grandma is staying at the hospital overnight, she's going to call in the morning so make sure you're here when she calls" he said okay and that was that.
I wake up at around 11 AM and my brother was still home asleep and my grandmother had already called. His bedroom is not in a place where he could have heard it from the home phones location and he didn't even bring it to his room so that he could have heard it while asleep. I call her and she's pissed but she had a friend come pick her up instead. To skip a bit ahead, she gets home, goes off on him and he tries to put the blame on me, saying that I wasn't specific enough and that I said didn't tell him that *he* was the one who had to pick her up. I don't even have a drivers license so I don't know how he thought I could have done anything. In the end, she's mad enough to kick him out of his house (He's 23). I don't feel like I'm the one in the wrong here, but I don't know. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
elzfCsiWKPCkZFDh4qXyjjSkLslMJuT9 | a51vtl | {
"description": "telling a kid with a Tourette Syndrome to study somewhere else",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling a kid with a Tourette Syndrome to study somewhere else? | I am a college student wrapping up my semester at a large, public institution. Our university has only one library dedicated to 'silent study' meaning no talking out loud, no eating, etc...
A kid with loud and verbal ticks sat right next to me. He would shout random words out (sometimes inappropriate) but more often would slam the table/pens/papers etc really hard. A bunch of people would walk by or stare and were verbally frustrated.
I asked the kid if he could consider going somewhere else and he did so without a problem. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
2FABb1gtpIVFTLRVtiKZKEne0ecW49uZ | asikog | {
"description": "keeping $100 I found at work",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | WIBTA for keeping $100 I found at work? | I work at a gas station, just found a $100 bill on the ground. Been about 6 hours now and no one’s come for it.
Very tempted to just pocket it if I don’t hear anything by the end of my shift. Although I feel like the right thing to do is leave it here with a note in case someone comes for it in the next couple of days. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
CjNchsa0Gc0ix0A3g55MRQ6IyIw3fG73 | 9zzd1s | {
"description": "telling a shop assistant to leave me alone",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for telling a shop assistant to leave me alone? | I went into my local catalog shop. Recently they've upgraded so that instead of paper catalogues everywhere they now have iPads, and you can look up the item(s) that you want and if they have it in stock you can order it, get a number on your receipt, wait until your number gets called and then collect whatever it is and take it home there and then.
It's a fairly recent upgrade and the shop's been known for their paper catalogs for decades, so for the first month or two whenever you'd go in a shop assistant would come over and tell you that you could now order your items on the iPad instead (how to use the search function, etc). This was totally fine, there are a lot of elderly/tech illiterate people, the free tutorial is nice.
I'll usually go "thanks, I already know how to use the iPads, thanks though :)"
And they'll usually go "okay cool well just ask if you have any questions or need help anyway :)" and that's it.
But the last couple of times I've gone in and said that, they'll hover behind me, and stare at my screen and try to upsell me. For example, I was debating buying a new games console and one went "I mean yeah, you COULD get just the console and one game, but you're missing out on x games"
And I said "I know what I'm looking for, thanks though" and the guy just would not leave! Kept making comments about how I should buy x instead/as well, and kept commenting on my searches.
Eventually he got so annoying that I left without buying anything. Other than that though I had never had any bad experiences with that store so I figured I would just come back when he wasn't on and order it then.
Came back a few days later and there's a different guy. But then the same thing happens again! And it isn't just me he's doing it to, and he's even doing it to the people who have *already bought stuff*. There was a girl leaving with a big smart TV and he chased her down to yell "DO YOU HAVE BROADBAND WITH THAT TV?! WHAT BROADBAND ARE YOU ON?! WE DO BROADBAND NOW" and she looked visibly uncomfortable. So I left again.
Came back in for the third time, different sales guy is there again. After the initial "yeah I know how to use the iPad thank you" he just doesn't leave. Stands and hovers behind me.
So I turn around and go, "can I help you?" and he goes "What are you buying today?"
And I say "I'm just going to look it up on the iPad, don't need your help, thanks again though"
And ofc he doesn't take the hint. "No problem. So, we have loads of great deals on. Mind me asking what you're buying and I'll see if any apply to you?"
After going back and forth with this a few times I eventually snap (not my proudest moment) and say very firmly, "look, I do not want your help. I get you're just trying to do your job but I've declined your help multiple times now, I can do this myself, please leave me *alone*"
And he looked so affronted! Glared at me and walked away to go harass some other people. And any time I've been back in since the three of them all give me really dirty looks. But I politely told him multiple times I didn't need any help?!
Granted they might be being told to annoy people by his managers or whatever, may not be the guy's fault personally, but I just thought, oh my god take a fucking hint dude. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 26,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
cdsAr1ASci84BnnDL4wm8PaDl4WHtkUM | 9u7jxj | {
"description": "not wanting to talk to an old friend after he blocked me and my sister",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to talk to an old friend (18M) after he blocked me (18F) and my sister (16F) | My sister and I have been friends with this guy (I'll call him Ethan) for a few years, mine and Ethan's friendship started when he had a bit of a crush on me when I was still at school and I would help him with his homework, he also became friends with my sister because I think they had a class at school together. We became pretty close and even when I left school and moved to a different city (he was the year below me at school, and my sister is two years below me) we kept in touch and we would regularly video call as a group (I'm talking every night), we would tell eachother just about everything and it was good to have a connection to home since I had just moved away to university alone, this was last year.
Fast forward to early this year, my sister and I were getting a bit suspicious that Ethan hadn't been telling us the whole truth of everything in our conversations and it turned out he had been seeing this girl without telling us, which is fine he can do whatever he wants but it was blatant lies when we would explicitly ask him if he was seeing her and he would say they were just friends.
Now, this girl had been a regular topic in our convos for various reasons and I think it was obvious my sister and I weren't keen on her, so I think partially he was just embarrassed to tell us they had been meeting.
Eventually it becomes too obvious to deny and she becomes more controlling over who he's allowed to see and even talk to, she started making him block his friends but he said he would never let her block me and my sister, we warned him over and over it sounded like she was toxic af and to get out of there but he didn't listen.
Then, he blocked my sister and I on every form of social media (surprise surprise), but just before he did he told us it was only temporary until he got her off his back, and at this point he had left school and I lived in a different city so there was no way me or my sister would see him in person. This really hurt me and my sister because we considered him one of our best friends and couldn't believe he would listen to this girl, this was about 5 months ago.
My sister and I kept tabs on his girlfriend checking her Instagram every so often and about two months ago it looked like her and Ethan had broken up because she was plastering a different boy all over her Insta, so we thought he would unblock us sometime soon.
Then, yesterday night he added me and my sister on Snapchat and messaged my sister apologising saying how he feels horrible blah blah but he is yet to message me and apologise.
My sister keeps telling me it sounds like he's really sorry and that she's been talking to him constantly since last night.
However, he hasn't messaged me and this is annoying and hurting me more, and at this point I don't want to talk to him, but he's told my sister he is going to message me (after she brought me up). So, AITA for not wanting to talk to him again, because he blocked us and got hurt and had no one to come running to because he pushed everyone away, which we WARNED him about SEVERAL times. I have missed him as a friend but I am starting to doubt if it was mutual if he messaged my sister immediately and not me. Part of me feels like I don't really know how to react to this situation and any advice/opinion is appreciated.
TL;DR AITA for not wanting to talk to an old close friend since he tried to get back in contact with me and my sister after letting a controlling girlfriend block us on every social media | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3LYIvgn4U7xsk5q6gxJRZW3e7HOy9Gd4 | avaxtk | null | AITA if he just wanted a drink? | So, this just happened.
I'm (28 m) sitting at a bar I spend probably more time in than I should and a kid (19 m) sat down at my table to introduce himself and chat. Bit of a busy night and it's the sort of bar where everybody knows everybody, and everybody calls you friend. We chat about work and turns out he's 19 and making his way selling weed at the moment. I tell him I'm not in the market but as long as he's not an ass hole about it we can get along. About this time a bearded man I haven't seen before and for the life of me couldn't point out in this place brings the kid a drink and leaves. Before kid can take a sip I tell him "I can't let you drink that."
Kid: "why not, man? I sat down thinking you were cool."
Me: "if TABC (Texas Alcoholic Beverages Commission/booze cops) or the police walk in you're fucked, so is the guy who bought it for you, so is our bartender. Unless he's your parent or guardian and he's within 6 feet of you, you can't drink that."
I took the beverage up to the bar; big relief to the bartender. Admittedly there's a very low chance that anyone will come in this time of night in this remote of a bar. Am I the ass hole for not letting the kid have his one drink, or for leading him on? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
HN1OnPyW7BD5ryMWUYaUFaGntSOQG3Am | ah22qp | {
"description": "not letting my brother and his friends crash at my place for a night",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not letting my brother and his friends crash at my place for a night? | My brother is a couple years younger, still in college, and we have been pretty close our whole lives, especially since I moved out a few years back.
He called last night asking if I could hook him up with a place to stay near NYC. He got free tickets to a rap show last-minute, and was hoping to not have to spend $100+ on a hotel for the night. Mind you, the show is tonight (a Thursday) so I have work tomorrow on Friday, but I hesitantly said yes, he would let me crash with him if I needed to.
Immediately after talking though, it occured to me that he said "tickets" as in plural, so I called him back and asked, "where are your friends staying?". He then explains that he was hoping they could stay with me too, if that wasn't clear. To me that wasn't clear the first time, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
I politely told him that I couldn't handle this, and he and his friends should find a hotel or Airbnb. This would be different story if I had my own place, or if it was just him.
He then proceeded to beg me and try and argue his way through, saying things like "I would do it for you" or "your roommates won't mind" or "cmon it would be so cool of you to do this for me".
I feel like I know the answer here, but AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
KkWKwoDrrp6mKypqTwwpqbFlTsdZjpaq | b5zerb | {
"description": "not talking to my dad after he posted something on Facebook that shouldn't really posted",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA- for not talking to my dad after he posted something on Facebook that shouldn’t really posted?? | So this was a few weeks ago, but I’m finding myself missing my dad more and more every day but I just can’t find it in me to forgive him.
So a few weeks ago I was scrolling through Facebook looking through my feed and as I passed by one of my dads posts. I scroll back and find a picture that he posted of a document with my moms name on it and the amount of money she owes him on it for child support.
My mom owed my dad some money after she continued to take child support after I moved out. So my dad posted something to Facebook about and didn’t even bother to blur anything out.
I then proceeded to message him and tell him that if I was my mom I wouldn’t really appreciate something like that be posted out in the open like that and I understood he wanted his money but some things just need to be kept off social media. I also told him how I didn’t appreciate how his friends made jokes about the whole situation in the comments because to me that’s humiliating and embarrassing and just over all disgusting all in all. That night he sent me a message after I got done work with the same picture he posted with my moms name blurred and he said for what it’s worth I’m sorry it hurt your feelings. And I told him the damage was already done, and he wasn’t even sorry for doing what he did but just for hurting my feelings.
He basically pushed everything I had to say to the side and proceeded to tell me that he was tired of being the bigger person after all these years and that he didn’t really feel the need to be the bigger person in this situation in general.
He summarized his whole side the other day by basically telling me I’m wrong for feeling this way about it and that I’m angry for no reason.
I miss my dad, but I’m holding up to how I feel because between posting that document, letting your friends joke about it in the comments, then say a next to nothing apology for the action over text, and concluding it with pushing how I felt to the side, I just feel like this was a step over the line for him. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
P47heifGaTyNt15nkG6KiQ9k0EVXApAJ | aidzg1 | null | AITA My dad died and I haven't moved home to be with my mum. | Due to uni/career/relationship, both my sister and I moved away from the seaside town we grew up in around 20 years ago. I genuinely excuse my sister- she's thoroughly established in the city she lives in now, which is just about easily drivable to our home town, but is where her job, her children's school & friends, her husband's job and her husband's family are. I can't excuse myself though. I currently live much further away, I can't drive so it's a 4 hour train journey and I need to take a couple of days' holiday and arrange for cat care to get home, and my partner and his family, and my job which is going well and which I could progress in and would like to progress in are here. I'm 40; I have no, and can't have, children, I live alone with my cat but my partner and I are happy and very much in love as we are which is living separately (for irrelevant reasons). But, my dad passed a couple of months ago so my mum is now on her own in the seaside town we both grew up in. She's doing really well; she has a lot of friends, she's making a lot of good progress in terms of adapting her life, my sister can visit more regularly than I can and does so and also has her children who want to see their grandma. But, the town is dead- there is no work there, it is run-down and younger (than me, but it was the same when I was 18 or so) people have to leave to find better work; my friends I grew up with have all but left- there is nothing for me there, unless I took a job at a supermarket or something and tried to work up which would be in stark contrast to the job I have now in the city I live in, which is nearly management level but still ok-but-not-great-paid but the benefits are good. I'm happy here, is what I'm saying. My partner, my flat, my job, my friends, practical things like my doctor are here, I can see a future here. But, my mum's on her own and it's difficult to get down to her as often as I'd like- the train fare is about 1/10 of what I earn a month, I need to take holiday to make (just the journey, I'm not meaning this in relation to seeing her) worth it otherwise I'm there and turning back round to go to the station, and I just keep thinking go home, go and live with her, don't leave her on her own... but, I also think she wouldn't want me to leave my job and be working minimum wage (I'm not exaggerating about that; there is NO decent, prospective work in the town I grew up in), and to not be with my boyfriend like I am now because I'm 40 and I don't want to start again with that and she really likes him and she knows we're happy together, and I now it's all relatively new because it's only been a couple of months since my dad passed and we're all still adjusting and it's probably too soon as my long-term family friend/uncle has advised me, to think about any big thing anyway, and I've only come back from seeing my mum today so I'm probably just feeling raw about it, but AITA for not thinking immediately and rightly- I should move back to my dead-end home town to be with my widowed mum? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
i8trZ7DDrPk6jjFOlbX8x40vMCtE1MbV | b24h1j | {
"description": "confronting our roommate about having her male guest stay over? I mean I just came home at 3:00am to see a strange man sleeping in my living room",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I confronted our roommate about having her male guest stay over? I mean I just came home at 3:00am to see a strange man sleeping in my living room. | I don’t know this guy. I live here too. Whose to say he’s not the reason my laptop is missing?! Why do I keep coming home to strange men in my house?! Is informing and asking other common household members of your guest not common curtesy? Is a quick text so hard? Let me hid my stuff like give me a notice!
Anyways would I be wrong for that? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pGIJjgZLhMaLgsF3XSsmKSr6FBmRM0DV | alk3r7 | {
"description": "walking during a red light",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for walking during a red light? | Some background info: I walk every day to and from college. I play trombone in the band and I've rented a French horn to learn, which means every Monday and Wednesday I carry a trombone on my right shoulder with my hand to secure the strap (case has backpack straps and I use one since I have an actual backpack too) and the horn in my left. Now, I know this light. If you don't press the button button before the light turns green, even if it's a half second late, the hand doesn't turn into the green walking guy, but the light still will be green for over a minute. I get to the light right as it turns green, and obviously my hands are full so there's no realistic chance of me pressing the button. I look both ways and walk. Then, I hear a loud engine and someone laying into their horn. I turn to see this speeding black car racing towards me and slightly drifting towards the curb but not signaling. Given that I just walked past a bar, I take a couple steps back to position the light pole thing between myself and the car ( I only had taken a couple steps into the crosswalk) as a precaution. The driver slams his break in the middle of the crosswalk, makes an angry gesture towards the red hand, drives extra slowly until he's out of the crosswalk, and then zips away. Now this confused me because whenever I drive, I always look for pedestrians, light or no light. I get that the walk signal is somewhat for my safety but do drivers really rely so heavily on it?
TL;DR I walked technically on a red light even though the traffic light would stay green for a long time, angry driver honks at me | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
v0dGyfqK6KVZoXcvJwbGoM5k4mH6GGET | anxjgp | {
"description": "ignoring my ex after she fakes cancer",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for ignoring my ex after she fakes cancer | Ok... So this happened a little bit ago
First some context. I'm in High School (that seems a bit inconsequential but this story is wack for happening in HS). Last year in April I asked this girl out who I liked for some time. I thought she was perfect and we told each other everything. We also loved theater and did a summer play together. I got one of my best friends to join the play too. He was kinda interested in theater too. During the show they became really close. They were their "people" (they just told each other their problems). Apparently my ex had a lot of problems and they came up with code-words for her problems. Keep in mind they never told me anything. Eventually I got worried that there was something was really serious going on. So after a lot of asking and pestering they finally told me. They told me that she had cancer and had an operation after the show for 2 weeks. She said that if anyone asked that she was going to be at a summer camp. Another thing was that she only told us and 2 other of her friends and didn't want us to tell our parents. Come the two weeks and I'm a mess. I can't think straight and I'm sad all the time. I wrote her paragraphs almost everyday even though she wasn't allowed to have her phone. I cried a lot and I generally don't cry even though I might feel sad or depressed. My friend I talked a lot to keep it off our minds and I found my self spending more time with family because I didn't want to be alone. I thought she was going to die. But she got back unscathed. I was ecstatic. I knew she was okay. We dated for a little while after (7 months in all). I broke up with her but we were still friendly. We had a couple classes together and we would have friendly exchanges in them. But a little bit before Winter Break she texted me.
(I deleted her texts later but this was the gist of our conversation)
Her: So you remember the big thing in May (She told me she had another operation around October, I think?)
Me: No
Her: The Big Thing. Like in July
Me: Oh shoot ya
blah blah blah
My mom, being a Helicopter parent, read my texts. She asked me what "The big thing" was. I was hesitant at first but eventually told her. She had a confused face. She told me that her mom had posted on FB her going to the summer camp. I said that that was just a decoy. But then she showed me pictures of her at the camp on the date she said she left. She was fucking laughing and smiling while I was thinking she was dying! I made the decision to not think about the rest of break and text her about it after. After break I worked up the courage to confront her (text) and this is what I sent... (again I deleted the texts but I sent my original paragraph and her response to my friend: ( I was trying to remain as professional as possible) [https://imgur.com/Kfk5wzc](https://imgur.com/Kfk5wzc)
I blocked her and cut her out of my life.
Now I feel guilty... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
FG28gY4x0jGoJhkuljUG2GRm3ePAqwxv | ajbgiq | {
"description": "not letting someone in the room we used to share, but no longer do",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For not letting someone in the room we used to share, but no longer do | There's a little bit of context to this I guess. I was in a relationship with a guy for the last year and we lived together (cheaper and he had to move cross state for schooling that he ended up not doing), and our relationship was an absolute dumpster fire. We were the kind of couple that was clearly never compatible but neither of us was mature enough to end it or maybe we were both just too hopeful I guess(?), and shit sorta detonated recently. We were spending time apart, he in a city a couple hours away and me here because I had nowhere else to go.
There were a couple of things he's done in this relationship that were really bad (**anyone with trauma or anxieties surrounding sexual/physical abuse please don't read further**);
​
A couple of months into our relationship he'd sorta violated my consent by initiating sex with me in the middle of the night while I was asleep, and when I say asleep *I mean asleep* like "I wake up and we're already doing things apparently" asleep. He's also been physically abusive, hit me a couple of times, and been extremely verbally abusive in the past and it reached a point where him being around caused me active anxiety and a fear for my safety. If I was being 100% truthful which I hope to god I am, I've done abusive things too. I always put my all into rectifying that behaviour whenever it's brought up to me but *I've been guilty of bad behaviour as well*. I've reacted super poorly, if he hits me occasionally I hit back, he's triggered actual post-traumatic episodes in me where I've blacked out and apparently done a couple of really mean things, I've always felt bad afterwards but I don't think that that's an excuse or a remedy. Recently we officially broke things off entirely with a big argument, one where I contributed nearly as much to the bad situation as he did, admittedly.
He yelled at me, insulted me and repeatedly brought up things that our kind of beyond the scope of my control. But "two wrongs don't make a right" obviously, I reacted by yelling back and insulting him too. I called him a piece of shit, a dick, a bunch of expletives that honestly did nothing. Very soon afterwards I felt like shit because I really try to have better control over my temper, and whether someone's mocking me for being disabled or not I felt like a personal failure for helping escalate a bad situation. I made an already bad situation worse by participating in it and having too much pride to back down and I feel really guilty.
Flash forward to a couple of days later (today, he left two days ago) and he comes by to grab his things, which I'm obviously fine with. But I sleep in that room, I live in that room and don't get to go out much, and on top of that when he left he'd already stolen something from it that didn't belong to him. So when I found out that he was coming over to get his things I decided to draw a very broad line in the sand and said that I didn't want him in what is now my room. I said he could have a mutually trusted, neutral third party present at all times to grab his things, I said I could go with that person or I could be in the other room with him if he didn't trust me, and I said the only way he would step foot in that room would be to talk to me about our interactions beforehand.
I made it very clear that no matter what he would get his things but I didn't budge and made it nonnegotiable that he wouldn't go into that room because I didn't feel safe even being in the same room as him let alone having him where I slept.
If *I was describing this situation to myself* I'd think "oh not the asshole right" but I have some moral confounding about the situation. This was still his apartment as well as mine at one point, we both paid rent, we both lived and slept in this room for months and his things were in here. He had concerns about the safety of his belongings which I respect, and I agreed to not touch anything of his without him being present. He brought by a friend and I ended up letting him in the room but following him and keeping a close eye on him. Wounds being fresh I'm obviously tempted to bitch about his behaviour being insulting and hostile while he was here but I don't think that's productive and I don't want to try and imbalance the scales.
​
So I guess the **tl;dr** is; Am I the asshole for not wanting this person in the room that I sleep in when they've violated my consent, was that boundary an immature one? I don't always have the best judgement and I can't tell if I did the right thing or if I was just being childish and petulant. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
drhsc2oXTQ6miTsCmCdWqaev7Esri6Ez | ailir3 | {
"description": "not continuing to talk to a girl I've been interested in after being rejected",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not continuing to talk to a girl I've been interested in after being rejected? | Ok so, I've been a little on the weak side when it comes to dating. I've had one real gf and it ended with me finding out that she was cheating on me the whole time, so yeah, not the best track record.
Well that was back in highschool and now, nearly 10 years later, When the subject of me trying to date and find a another gf comes up in my group of friends or family (Friends are getting married/Ma wants more grandbabies you know the deal) I give the old "I'm working on myself right now" excuse and change the subject.
Well, I start talking to a girl at work a couple of years younger than me and she's great. funny, smart, very driven and passionate about her work. It helps that she's also gorgeous but I digress. After months of not being able to stop thinking about her, I find out via a friend that she's single and get the push from multiple people to just go for it. She was out of town on a business trip, so I shoot her a message asking if when she gets back if she wants to hang.
Well turns out my friend was wrong, she does have a bf and he's the jealous type, so even if she was interested she couldn't really do stuff with me as friends anyway because of him because she "wants to respect his wishes".
I tell her that's totally fine and bow out. Don't wanna cause trouble for anyone, plus it kinda felt good to just put myself out there for once. I feel like I grew a bit if I do say so myself.
I didn't completely cut her out of my life but I stopped messaging her and Ive kept our interactions brief to avoid any potential complications. Just a hello or a casual joke here or there, nothing too big.
So that's my story. Am I an asshole here? I figured trying to be her friend while I still have some feelings for her would possibly lead to me becoming a orbiter werido or whatever and creeping her out. And I don't want that. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
CPaTnUVnHwDSFTNKbkCVjHKo8CJDYPhQ | agccd3 | null | AITA son, 28, is cutting us off | AITA
I don't want to go pick him up. He is mentally ill and has been in a state of psychosis, he was hospitalized and supposed to get out today. He called yesterday finally after 4 days to tell me that he was cutting his family off and going to live in the streets.
He said he wants me to come get him, he wants to get a hamburger, he wants to come to my house and get his shit (he was living with us), MAYBE we'll talk.
Why should I go get him?
Am I the asshole because I think if he doesn't need us then he can find his own way to come get his stuff?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 8
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
m4W32YB6t2MTofd6QlK0pamg4DD19RrX | ag83wx | {
"description": "calling out my gf on a bad gift, and telling her what I want",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 48
} | AITA for calling out my GF on a bad gift, and telling her what I want? | Some context: I’ve been with my gf for a year and half. She’s pretty standard for what gifts she likes: clothes/ jewelry. I’m a little more nuanced ( hobbies range from gaming/ reading/ I play guitar and I have a weird thing for hot sauce). Our first bday together she got me some fancy cuff links. It’s a sweet first gift, not something I’d get super excited over, but nice because I needed them. Now we get to her birthday- I get her a pair of over the knee boots that were in her freaking shopping cart. Like I nailed it. Also, got a year long Rosetta Stone subscription to learn Spanish because she said we wanted to learn a language together. Another holiday rolls around and she gets me a hot sauce making kit. This is the sweetest gift I might have ever gotten. Not expensive, just really thoughtful. Almost moved to tears. And I say so. Fast forward to my birthday this year. She completely backslides gets me a wallet which is in the same vain as the gift from the year previous. She also books a day of activities of couples massage and a dinner. Here’s the thing though- at first it was just the wallet. It just felt so impersonal and that it was more for her because she wanted me to have a nicer wallet (old one was a little ratty). It was upsetting- at this point she knows what I like, she knows I am financially strapped and I wouldn’t be able to spend money on some of my more expensive hobbies like gaming. Anyway she says she’ll never get me video game stuff because she doesn’t want to buy me things she buys her 11 yr old brother. That was kind of insulting. I say when I buy gifts I don’t consider myself I only consider what would the other person happiest. She said I made her feel bad, on my birthday...I don’t know..even typing this I feel like I’m being whiny and immature. It would just be so nice if I had someone who wanted to get me these things so they could see the joy in my face. I felt shitty after when I found out about the rest of the stuff, but after she said those things it left a bad taste in my mouth. Anyway her birthday just passed and I got her a nice necklace I knew she wanted, and we went to dinner. We ended up fighting somewhat about the gifts thing (I kept saying things like “yea birthdays are only for the other person, so I don’t consider myself”). So AITA, should I just give up on hoping to get gifts I like?
Tl;Dr GF got me something I wasn’t into, called her out on it, she said she’s not going to indulge my video game hobby, ever. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 38,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 10,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 48
} | WRONG |
CR9OfrnA2pm1WrS0ru6bDQI7shJx5DPk | atld31 | {
"description": "reporting my neighbor's dogs to authorities",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA for reporting my neighbor's dogs to authorities? | We moved into this house last year, not caring that the neighbors had two large german shephards (fwiw, I don't think we even knew they had dogs until after we moved in, but it's not like it would have kept us from buying the house). They generally free roam their fenced in backyard, but the fence is only 4 1/2 feet tall, if that. These dogs are LARGE dogs that I can't imagine would have any trouble at all hopping that fence, if they so desired.
We noticed pretty quickly, though, that these dogs had a tendency of charging the fence when someone walked by. I would have no problem if they just ran up out of curiousity, but they charge at it, barking wildly, barring their teeth and growling. As someone who used to be terrified of dogs, this is incredibly unsettling, not to mention the fact that we have a 100+ pound lab mix of our own who right now, can only use the front yard while leashed out of concerns for his safety. My mom found the homeowner on facebook and sent her a message about us potentially going halfsies on getting a fence put up - only for the homeowner to tell us that we should try giving them treats to win them over, that they are just protective of their yard, and that they had only "nipped" one person that came into their front yard.
We plan on paying to get a 6-7 foot privacy fence installed this spring - but the dogs are becoming nuissances now. They're now in the habit of barking and charging the fence to get at dogs 3-4 yards away. They barked for an hour straight last night at a dog that is probably half a block away.
I've contemplated calling the cops before since this would all put these dogs under the category of "public nuissance" in our jurisdiction - but I'm a dog lover and don't want to see these dogs get put down or something because of terrible owners. However, my nieces and nephew come over all of the time and the last thing I want to see happen is one of these dogs hopping the fence and causing harm to an innocent little kid (or even them just hopping the fence and coming after my dog).
WIBTA if I end up reporting them to the police and/or animal control?
(Please note: I'm not mad at the dogs. They don't know better as they were never trained - that's not their fault; I'm mad at the owners who just don't seem to give a fuck that their dogs are creating problems for their neighbors)
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
eyRe59bzU2cDzzTDsbHYzhlp7vzsft7G | 9v83lf | {
"description": "wanting my fiancé to see me without a mustache before we're married",
"pronormative_score": 159,
"contranormative_score": 18
} | AITA for wanting my fiancé to see me without a mustache before we’re married? | Like it sounds I’ve had a mustache for the last five years or so, and this is how I looked when my fiancé first met me. But she really doesn’t want me to shave it off. I feel like she ought to see my face before she says I do. I would let it grow back after the initial shave and t wouldn’t take long to come back. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 158,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 159,
"WRONG": 18
} | RIGHT |
8rRjLpQG2MbAgvAknQSmXcpjy41E1LO7 | amo7ho | {
"description": "asking my gf of 3 years for nudes",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for asking my gf of 3 years for nudes? | Quick back story. She has extremely low libido. We have sex about once every 3-4 months. She says she's trying to be "good" and not have sex before marriage and trying to avoid temptation and avoid going to confession too frequently, even though I took her virginity and we had a lot of sex during the honeymoon phase.
Fast forward to now. I'm overseas for a couple of weeks and today for shits and giggles during a text conversation with her I decided to tell her to send some nude/sexy pics. I expected her to decline, which she did. I went no further after that.
However she ended the conversation by saying that she's upset with me for asking her this and she'll forgive me if I don't do it again.
I didn't think it was a big deal what I asked, especially since I didn't press her further after her initial decline.
I'm actually getting more and more pissed off the more I think about her saying "she'll forgive me" for this shit, with the whole lack of sex or sexual tension going on for more than 2 years now....
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
uD7P9UQp0GLDpGz0bElkj2YGSCBE5xxZ | azgf1v | {
"description": "causing me and my gf to break up by arguing with her mom",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for causing me and my gf to break up by arguing with her mom? | So about a week ago I got into an argument with my girlfriends mom over some stuff she posted on facebook. Basically for no reason I can figure out she made a long post about how my mom was drinking and driving, encouraged me and my gf to have sex, etc. None of this was true. She never used names but she was descriptive enough to where a good amount of people would know who she was talking about. When I learned about this I messaged my girlfriend telling her I was upset and asking her why her mom would think all that, she said she didn't know but she'd ask her mom. A few minutes I got a message from her mom where she said everything she said was true and added in a little remark about how she felt sorry for me. I'll admit, I got angry so this might be where IATA, I sent her an angry message about how everything she said wasn't true, even using some certain 4 letter words I really shouldn't have. Anyways, after that she messaged my mom about how disrespectful I was for cussing around her (side note: she cussed a lot around me a lot) and how she doesn't want me to be around her daughter anymore. Anyways, now our relationship is over and I'm wondering AITA. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6dMhjHkqBodvNGnK6AT6Vp7TZLiBQNu7 | aqahcl | {
"description": "not wanting to help a friend with school",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to help a friend with school? |
I (25/F) am a part-time pre-dental student, currently taking three upper level science classes. I also work an 8-5, 40 hr/wk job and am the sole income provider in my household. I’m very lucky because my work has let me be very flexible with my hours so I can take classes during the day (I start at 7, go to class, come back until 6 or 7). I am a straight A student. I never skip class and take my time at school very seriously because the grades I get now decide my future.
​
I have a friend (25/F) who I met at school last year. We are friends outside of class and frequently spend time together. She is taking the same science courses I am but doesn’t have a job. She often decide she “isn’t feeling” class and will skip lectures or just leave halfway through class. Whenever we meet up to study she ends up packing a bowl after about an hour of studying and then tells me she can still study while she’s baked.
​
AITA for not wanting to share my notes with her?
​
For example, our professor holds office hours to review practice tests before the midterm. This is the only way to get the answer key for the practice exams. I always use my PTO and take a half day so I can go to campus and meet with him. Rather than go and meet with the professor herself, she will text me and ask if I’ll give her the answers to the practice exam. Or she will skip class to go on a hike with her boyfriend and then ask me to send her the notes I took.
​
I’m torn because I know that my helping her doesn’t inhibit my ability to succeed. Giving her my notes or the practice exam info doesn’t negatively affect me. So I feel like an asshole for not wanting to help her. But at the same time I feel like I’m being taken advantage of because she knows she doesn’t have to try hard or attend class because I’ll never skip or slack off. She says she would do the same for me, but I would never put her in that position. It annoys me that she will have access to the material I worked my ass off to compile for absolutely no effort on her part. It’s also frustrating because my workload is insane, and I know if I can make time for class so can she. Am I just being really judgmental about her work ethic? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
J5zmrLcL5IkaaFXxoAskV5dm0mbBvzlj | b1yc9u | {
"description": "ignoring this kid",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ignoring this kid | Ok so a few months ago my friendship group found out this boy in our year (and my maths) was following and posting some wierd shit on intagram. Like literal shit. He had been following girls who post themselves pissing themselves and shiting their pants. He also posted stuff like "any girls up for shitting on my chest" and "give me a number 1=hot, 2=need to fuck, 3=can resist etc. We privately said to him nicely if he knows people can see them and that it is kinda in his best interest to take them down. He straight up blanked us.
So a few weeks later he posted more wierd shit. So at this point i was done. Whenever he tried to start a conversation i would just ignore him. Like just to disassociate myself with him. By this time the whole year knew. I wasnt friends with him before we found all thia creepy and gross stuff so why should i try to be his friend or mate now?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3d3aUbJD1cevL2zulBRxu3ToqKocw5o4 | avo8br | null | AITA for how I acted at my "intervention"? | I'm 20, a guy. Really fat. 320 pounds at 6'1''.
My family is very skinny and health oriented, I'm not. My parents didn't use to be but they did when I was around twelve and it's sort of been a big tension since. Everyone else in my family is really active into fitness/eating healthy, parents, two older sisters, older brother. I'm not.
I've always been really fat. Was big as a kid. Parents gave older siblings a lot more attention than me generally and never really signed me up for sports/cared about what I ate, so I got big at five and stayed big. I'm cool with it. Got bullied a lot but otherwise it never really made a substantial difference beyond not being able to be good at sports, etc. I like eating unhealthy amounts of food and I'm fine with making my life a little shorter to keep doing it, and I hate, hate exercise. I'm fine with being a big guy and it's part of my identity in a lot of ways.
Predictably my family doesn't like this. Again, big sports team/club family, gym rats, healthy eaters. They've really been bugging me with health concerns about it and I generally have just joked around them because when I haven't in the past it's started arguments and I hated getting into arguments with my otherwise very peaceful family.
I came home for a visit where everyone was visiting this last weekend and they basically held an intervention for me. About being fat. Again, not doing drugs, not going on crazed rampages, I just eat a lot of Taco Bell and look like I live in a van down by the river.
It was like from TV. They were all sitting down in circle and they basically sat and told me how they felt I was "missing out" on life. It was basically "you aren't active and you can't run with us and you are out of breath and you never had a girlfriend and it makes me feel sad". Most of that is true (I'm gay and have yet to come out to my family, which makes that bit of it more awkward, although I admittedly haven't been in too many relationships either way) but none of those are reasons why you hold an intervention. Then my dad pulls out statistics and tries to bludgeon me and I got really embarrassed at a certain point and just got up and then got in my car and left. Both my sisters were crying and they all kept saying how they "felt responsible" (which in a certain way is true of my parents, but it's not something I like "blame" them for) and it was so dramatic i felt more like it was like I had been in a DUI and killed people instead of being just being sort of ugly.
I don't know. I haven't spoken to them since friday, which is an incredibly long time to go without talking in my family. They've sent me a lot of texts and I've been ignoring them. I don't agree with their message but I understand they had good intentions but fuck it was so awkward and embarrassing and I'm really really angry at them. I feel guilty for leaving like that but jeez.
I'm not the asshole for just booking it right? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 31,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 52,
"WRONG": 18
} | RIGHT |
Ap6vzeTH64vpFiC1T15Rf0EcPTpybl2L | b5k5jl | {
"description": "asking my flatmate why she slept with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for asking my flatmate why she slept with my friend? | I (20M) am friends with a guy (20M), we can just call him James I guess.
James is about same height as me (6''1) and a bit lanky, in terms of looks, I'd say we're pretty similar (though James has said himself that I look slightly better than him, but whatever). However our personalities are way different. I'm a bit calmer and he's the opposite. He's very high energy, but that's because he relies on/takes drugs. He does weed ALL the time, takes MDMA, cocaine, Ket, etc. You name it. And in terms of alcohol, he's just fine.
He always has a loud and energetic vibe and approaches girls and they end up sleeping with him. I'm sorry to say, but I'm just jealous, if I'm being honest. I've tried emulating him a bit, and it didn't work.
He says things to me like ''Girls just want to be fucked, sometimes they want a good fucking, don't be a nice guy'' and then when he hooks up with girls he describes how he had sex with them to me, I think he's doing it to make me jealous.
So he came to a pre-drinks at my flat and my flatmate (20F) met him for the first time. As the pres went on he saw her and smiled and said some shit along the lines of ''Girl you so pengg'' (cringe...) but to my surprise she started giggling and playing with her hair, I was so jealous honestly...then when we went to the club, they started making out and he came back to my flat and fucked her.
I came back a bit after them, and watched some porn then fell asleep (lol my life).
Anyway I woke up and went to the kitchen and he was there, and then he said hi and winked at me. I knew obviously what had happened. Then I went for a cigarette with him and he described how he fucked my flatmate doggy style.
So after he left, I went up to watch some TV for a few hours and recover from my hangover with some shitty food. Now my flatmate (20F), we can just call her Amber, comes out to the living room and starts making food.
Now it was only me and her there, and I still had some alcohol in my system, so I just flat out asked her ''I just have to know, why did you fuck James? I'm genuinely curious.'' and she turned around and looked at me very weirdly. So I said ''I'm just curious, I want to know why you made the decision?'' and she looked a bit angry at me and said ''Shut the fuck up''.
But I honestly WAS curious why she chose to sleep with him, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
n923npJK6FJfMvmcZrFHYRgo5TpnleIm | aqb5qx | {
"description": "hating my boyfriend for not giving me attention",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for hating my boyfriend for not giving me attention? | I'd like to start this with an apology. This is an emotionally charged topic for me so I'm sorry if my sentences run on or if I say some stuff that doesnt make too much sense.
Me(19) and my boyfriend(21) are about to hit 1 year. Our relationship has always been kinda unbalanced, but I never minded till recent because I love this man with all of my heart. I pay for both of our food, gas, and anything else he wants, I very rarely say no. We both work i just get more hours/have a better job in general.
He lives with his mom and me by myself. We made an agreement to see each other every other day, of course stuff happens and we switch days around/cancel whatever, most of the time it doesnt bother me. Now and then he'll tell me all day about how excited he is to see me tonight and then once I get off work he changes his mind and acts like I'm an asshole if I get upset. I never straight tell him he ruined my day but it really does. I always tell him "I'm just upset because you got my hopes up." Which I dont think is mean. Hes said once that it's not fair that I make him feel bad for cancelling, but hes ruined my whole day so it seems fair to me. Plus, I'm not trying to make him feel bad, I just dont think I should lie about being sad.
I will admit, i get way more bent out of shape than i should, but I cant help it and I'm not sure why it bothers me so much. Every time I tell him it's okay to cancel, just let me know a little earlier in the day so it doesnt upset me as much. He did this once afterwards and everything was fine. I tried to talk to him about how I thought our relationship was unbalanced and he just told me I was overreacting and refused to have a conversation so I dropped it.
But todat he told me last second again that he didnt want to come over because hed rather play video games. On a normal day I wouldn't care, yeah whatever it happens all the time. But the whole day before I was having a terrible depression episode. I cried all day and I was really close to ending my life that night. We talked on the phone before bed and he told me he missed me a lot and wanted to see me today and we both agreed to hang out since I finally had a day off. I won't have any time one the day he said we could hang and I told him this. Am I the ass for literally hating him for all of this? I know he has no obligation to see me but I literally pay for his everything and he promised me hed see me. Everyone I've talked to has told me I should dump him but I love him and dint really want to do that. I want an unbiased opinion from someone who wouldn't just tell me what I want to hear. Am I the asshole? Am i just overreacting? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
6d9eM4mpHGSERXUqsEx0jqDPMncOAorf | azwvr0 | {
"description": "being upset that my wife and dog only seem to care about each other",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for being upset that my wife and dog only seem to care about each other? | Been with wife for 10 years, 5 of which married. Met in highschool, fell in love, spend every minute with each other - almost your standard highschool sweetheart story, couldn't imagine my life without her. Got a dog 6 months ago, not our first but currently our only. Past two weeks I feel like a 3rd wheel in my home. The dog only seems interested in her and she only seems interested in the dog. I hate feeling this way. If I were an outsider looking in it would seem pretty obvious to me that they only care about each other. I have hinted at the issue with basically ni response. Is my wife sick of me? Am I simply just an asshole? Are there other people that are in this situation? Should I just get over it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
U8E2V3F8rbrRpTKkwYRniNtLx8zJdt6d | ab93ok | {
"description": "not supporting my friend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not supporting my friend? | Ok, bear with me because this is long and happened 2 years ago but I still think about it.
Back in highschool i met one of my best friends and back in the day (16 years back then, 27 now) we were inseparable, we did everything together, went almost every week to the cinema, to have a coffee, etc...
4 years ago she went to France for a year to study part of her second career (which she didn't finish), when she came back she was very different, more distant and in her words "independent" she went to live alone (in a house her parents bought her and they gave her every week money to support herself) and she started to lose herself, she became vegetarian but only ate once a day because she "prefer to make her food at home" but she never had food at home, she started going 3 hours a day to the gym, everyday, she started to have problems sleeping so she started to smoke weed everyday in order to sleep (at least that made her eat a little bit more), she suffer depression but everytime I suggest her to find some help she said that "nobody in town could understand her and she tried every psychologist in town" which is ultimately Bs, she started to drove me away when I met my boyfriend and I wasn't around her 24 hours a day, and I feel better to not having to worry about her all day because she could faint for lack of food or nearly die (which happen like twice and both times she said she already called for help to her mother but she didn't).
So she suddenly cut all communication with me saying I was an asshole for not supporting her and for judging her for all her actions... AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
q5u7elNhOHTfvwlEjZVkXPoCfCrVo179 | avez6d | {
"description": "not wanting to talk to my mom, her husband anf my half brothers",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not wanting to talk to my mom, her husband anf my half brothers. | I'm on phone sorry about formatting.
So, my mom and dad never got along, yet I was still born. When I was 7-9 months old my mom left me and disappeared for 2 years, she came back pregnant and with a new husband. I never liked her husband, I think that goes both ways.
I got forced to visit them every 2nd weekend since then, I hated it, always, my mom barely being present and the stepdad being a jackass., This has gone on ever since I got a connection with them. 5 years pass and they have my 2nd brother, no special connection, meh, they moved into a house when they had him, but nothing majorhings were the same until I became 14 and actually got to chose wether I wanted to go, sometimes months would pass between visits, and they were only for 2-3 days. When I did visit my mom was either sleeping or playing games on FB, husband being on business trips or laying on the couch watching Netflix, I never felt like I wanted to be there, nor that they wanted me there. This is still going on and I'm thinking about cutting ties completely, I don't wanna spend more time visiting her. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
VMUdIVpHw3QSAPu3eNR2kvk7ngUyEgIe | a8g4oy | {
"description": "not wanting to have my inlaws over for Christmas Eve",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to have my inlaws over for Christmas Eve? | Every year my husband invites his parents to our house for Christmas Eve. I have to make dinner and entertain. The problem is, we then see them again on Christmas day because we do Christmas with my side of the family, plus the in-laws come over again. And then we have a 3rd Christmas with his parents when my husband's brother and wife come into town during New Year's. We have 3 Christmases with my in-laws and I only get one with my parents. I don't think it's fair. So today when my husband said we should invite them to dinner, I suggested that we just do something ourselves on Christmas Eve. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
98mPJm5qX0WE0BxrmoiR4OspaoceAwYC | b0mjjh | {
"description": "not telling my family about my pregnancy until after the baby is born",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I didn't tell my family about my pregnancy until after the baby is born? | I'm currently 26 years old, and my family lives in another state. I live my own life and support myself financially 100%. My family consists of my Grandmother, my Mother, and my Mother's sister (my Aunt). My family and I have had some major issues in the past, but I've done my best to move on from them.
Last year, I got pregnant. It was a "happy accident". I was hesitant about telling my Mom first. She has Borderline Personality Disorder and, despite working on herself, can be a little unpredictable and unsupportive/self-centered at times. I called my Grandmother instead. When I called and told her the news, the first thing she said was, "well, when are you having the abortion?"
...what?
She then proceeded to tell me that I was so young. That I had so much more left to do before "giving up my life". Etc. I was absolutely devastated and in shock. I got off the phone crying and felt broken in a way I hadn't since I was young.
But then things got weird. When my Mom found out, she barely had any reaction to my news. She was just absolutely livid at my Grandmother. Mom tore into her like a feral animal, refusing to speak to her for a while. My Aunt was strangely supportive and had an uncharacteristically heartfelt conversation with me. I found out later that this was a sore spot for both my Mom and Aunt, who had both gotten abortions in their youth because of lack of family support. My news opened up an entire can of worms. My family spent the better part of the next month fighting amongst themselves about MY pregnancy.
I had a miscarriage two weeks after this happened. It was really hard on me and took me a while to recover.
Well, now I'm pregnant again. It's almost a year since the last one. I'm further along, and it's looking healthy. I'm due in October, about two weeks before my birthday (when I usually physically see my family). And I really, really don't want to tell any of them.
I feel guilty, like they're supposed to be a part of this process. And I KNOW that it wasn't my Mom or Aunt that made the abortion comment. Maybe my Mom, at least, deserves to know she's going to be a Grandmother once I hit my second trimester?
But...I just can't bring myself to tell them. I felt like they turned something deeply personal and important to me into something hurtful. I'd be heartbroken to be met with non-supportive comments again. Since I found out about my pregnancy this time, I've been actively trying to figure out how to hide it and schedule times we'll see each other either when I could hide the bump or after the baby's due date. It feels like a crappy game of keep-away. I guess I'm hoping that actually seeing my child will make them all behave better.
So Reddit, AITA? Should I be more forgiving and tell my family the next time I see them in May? Or would it be okay if I just...never told them about my pregnancy, just having them meet the baby in November? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
7EZoIyxHMcooPGGLPJO1nw9NsXsdqYa5 | agqvos | null | AITA 'because I don't wanna apologise for calling my MOM a C*NT! | Hold on, let me explain. So I Keep this extremely personal diary full of some of my inner thoughts at the moment when I write them. I let absolutely no one see this book and keep it hidden, due to the fact that it contains some pretty slanderous commentary towards several people in my life which I sometimes write when I'm angry.
Openly, I insult no one. Nobody can claim that I speak ill of them in public or private, at least not to anyone else. I keep that journal to vent about my frustration, which may sometimes include making really derogatory comments to people. Again, I NEVER intend for them to see this or ever hear about it. I keep my anger bundled up and occasionally let it flow onto the pages of a book that I keep extremely hidden.
However, recently, it came to my knowledge that My mother had found said journal and had been reading it for several weeks. She finally confronted me and says she wants me to apologise for what I wrote 'cause it deeply offended her. I made passing remarks about her being a b\*tch, whore, c\*nt, and a fat f\*uck whale among other stuff. Thing is, I don't feel like I should apologise. I would have never said those things to her face, EVER.
They were meant to be kept private 'til the end of all time, never to be made privy to anyone who was written about in it. She knew that very well before she went and read it because the opening parts of the book specifically say it's not to be read due to that fact.
She violated my privacy and got her feelings hurt, even when she knew that was a possible consequence. Why should I apologise for that? I may have written some slanderous stuff, but it was completely private. She may have never found that book had she not been searching around my stuff unauthorized. The contents are not even a true reflection of my feelings at present, but she doesn't care; she still desires an apology.
I don't feel like doing it. The fact that she is offended is a consequence of her own actions in my eyes. Perhaps I shouldn't have written what I did, but it's not like it was ever meant to be made public. I may very well have burned the thing in the future just so it could never be seen.
So, AITA, should I apologise for comments I never made to her face, or to anyone else for the matter?
\*\*TL;DR Wrote my mom was a c\*nt, whore, slag and a bicycle among other things in a private journal she was never to see, should I apologise even though I never said it to her face?\*\* | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
w06zbejA4KeO2QZi7RNTMmrZKr6MdSUM | b92q2z | {
"description": "complaining about my student teacher to my school",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I complained about my student teacher to my school? | Let me preface this by explaining, I go to a pretty difficult high school where we learn hard courses and are expected to understand everything. While this is difficult we are supported by our great teachers who can teach very well.
About two months we got a student teacher for my Literature class, she only teaches my period. She also goes to a really good college and is still learning how to teach fully. She’s very interactive with students and follows what my normal teacher tells her to do. Previously I also had a student math teacher in which he stayed for a month taking notes during my period and taught a during a different.
The only issue is that she cannot teach that well, and is definitely not ready to teach at my school. She is not present for other lessons and only reads the lesson plan. Her handwriting is barely readable and we constantly have to pause to ask her what word was written. She grades overly harsh while barely teaching us half the material or creating terrible projects that are only based on prior knowledge. (One project was a trailer where I drew the unlucky straw and got a group where no one knew how to edit a video). This really showed with a recent test we had. My teacher said that we would be tested on quotes from one of the Shakespeare books we were reading while only getting a section of the quote. We had to identify the character, the context, theme and etc. All the quotes from the test we also supposed to be quotes we discussed before as well. After identifying all the quotes we’ve studied it was pretty easy to study for said test. Only issue is, half of the quotes were never discussed.
Some friends from another period felt the test was easy while basically everyone from my class struggled trying to find out what each quote was. And after having to deal with this for two months I’ve gotten pretty sick of it. I don’t want this ruining my GPA or my previous grades in this class but I feel as it is.
She seems nice enough and could probably teach well at a less intense high school but honestly is completely ruining my experience in the class. I really don’t want to be the reason for her preforming poorly in whatever college course she is taking (I’m not really sure how it works) but I also don’t want my grade to be ruined. She’s been here far to long and the class has been delegated to a “homework” class as we don’t learn anything than the obvious.
I really need some advice... | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
lxeLeBGwx94NibWq3WfOW7VyVEG9G9Bp | ag2t4v | {
"description": "not talking to my friend who has anxiety and did self-harm",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For not talking to my friend who has anxiety and did self-harm? | Let me give some context to this first.
My friend who I know in real life who's in her late teens, about the same age as me, has anxiety problems she's been dealing with for a couple of years now. Each time that she has a problem she comes on our group chats and basically vents and says all the problems and self deprecating thoughts she's been having even when people are talking or something else is going on or no one has anything to say that hasn't already been said, and this usually happens every three days or sometimes days in a row. Most of these problems she's talking about can't be solved by **only** coming to us, such as being highly shaky or having migraines. She also has problems with her dad at home as far as I know, but I don't really know how often it is since I'm not her.
Before this situation that I'm about to explain happened, we were basically best friends.
One day she started to basically break down to me over the internet, and this is where I stopped talking to her mainly.
She comes on asking me if she's being annoying, I ask her if there was a specific instance that made her feel that way and she said no. Seconds later completely out of the blue, she says she hates herself, wants to pretend she doesn't exist, and would be cutting herself if I didn't make her promise not to. (I made her promise not to when I first her about it because it gave me peace of mind to know she's okay.)
At this point, I feel kind of annoyed since she comes to us every day with her problems and isn't taking her own steps to fix them. I say that I'd expect her own sense of integrity to do the right thing, not just my solemn promise. She says she just wants to be able to vent, that her anxiety is a hellish feeling, and that her giving her word to someone is important because her integrity won't do the right thing. I understand these things, but the main problem I'm having with it is that she isn't taking steps to confront her problems herself (as in get professional help) and, what feels to me, like she is looking for validation.
I took steps back from talking or inviting her to things lately because of this entire thing and because of how much stress I felt when I was dumping into this. I told her at the end to find things that would help her physically and to do more to help herself. When I see her in public I try not to talk to her because I don't want to get back into this.
It's about a month later, and she hasn't done anything to change.
Am I the asshole, though? I feel pretty guilty about it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
0jwEtGdbSNP5F6xAdjBPl4RrLEz5ZCWF | a4a43u | {
"description": "locking my wife out",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for locking my wife out? | Context:Door has a couple systems that only engage from the inside, have animals in the house.
Try to make it short and sweet,
Wife goes out with friends, talk and she'll(as of when we talk, and nothing ends up changing) spend the night(about 45 mins away) avoiding a DUI or driving while sleepy, if it came to it.
Head to bed- wake up in the early morning hours each to the animals kind of freaking out and her trying to get in from a window(I have no missed calls or texts)
I also get the great pleasure of her being generally pissed and angry saying "I don't like being locked out"
I let it pass because I was so surprised, but AITA in some way here?? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
78zRJXEe3W6wZkpTevYraD65VXZS9BXd | aa1nqe | {
"description": "being happy about a good grade",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA because I was happy about a good grade? | So last week my class got back our math exam. Our teacher told us before that it was horrible exam, and only 5 students got good grades (good grades in my country are A-B). I am naturally expecting a bad grade, but it turned out that I got a A-. It was, of course, a very positive experience which made me cry out “Yes!”. I didn’t scream too loud, it was just enough for the whole class to hear.
I didn’t think about it too much, but immediately I got screamed at by my classmates that I was disrespecting the whole class and I should be ashamed of myself.
It really made me feel bad, so I wanted to ask if I really was the asshole in that situation. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
EAsuNLWh3AYaZykKVKxYuKrZhzBSw0lj | ankzc8 | null | AITA in this tinder conversation? | Her Tinder bio: "cool and nice"
>Me: sus to call yourself nice
>Her: that's only for men
>also don't go around putting women down you weird ass 
>Me: lol you're not helping your case
>are you a gemini? 
>Her: ? I'm supposed to be nice to someone who's being rude to me?
>is that your pickup routine? "uhh how do i get girls to fuck me? astrology and negging?"
>Me: hm.. you didn't say you weren't  
>(5 mins of typing later)
>Her: If a strange man came up to a woman in public and said something negative about her how much of a shot do >you think he’d have? How freaked out, angry and humiliated do you think that woman would feel? This platform >isn’t any different just because there’s less pressure and face to face contact. It’s abusive, domineering and strange >and it makes women feel bad. You shouldn’t do that anymore, to anyone. It’s weird  
>Her: Okay leaving you to your tactless life now | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 21,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 24
} | WRONG |
MPtk7nJEviZY1Nt47eeZd9fr5Mx2TE4a | aawxfx | {
"description": "hating our new dog",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for hating our new dog? | Pretty sure that this will be a RIP account because... animals.
Middle-aged, very busy dad with 2 kids, stay at home mom (recently able to afford for her to retire and concentrate on kids.) Finally making enough money to buy nice things. Bought 'dream house' this year, and outfitted it with some lovely, somewhat expensive items (hardwood floors, nice rugs, furniture, couches, etc.) I'm a very involved parent, husband, and physician - but try to remain balanced, exercising and taking enough time for myself so I don't go insane. Things are going quite well.
Wife expresses a desire to get a dog. I said I would never say 'absolutely not' because I'm just not that kind of guy - but say if she does, she's on her own - that I will never walk it, do anything for it - and that I vehemently oppose this, for a few reasons.
One, I have no time for anything else. I really don't want ANY more responsibilities - I feel maxed out sometimes, and think I am pushing it in terms of stress.
Two, I do not want a dog. I do not dislike dogs, but get no real pleasure from them. (Don't hate me for this - I'm vegetarian for 10 years because of compassion to animals, but perhaps mostly because of reason #1, do not want a dog in my house at this time.)
Perhaps most of all, in my opinion, we have a rich history of failure with dogs. My wife (then girlfriend) 'surprised' me with a dog that I didn't want when we were dating (and also had no time.) This dog ended up getting neglected when we were both working full time and n school, so her solution was to buy a second dog as a companion. This second dog was insane, very jealous of our new baby and we ended up having to give her to a family member (who ended up taking our first dog as well, several years later. Embarrassing.)
While out at an activity with my son recently, I came home to see that she had...rescued a dog. I'm so pissed. This puppy is chewing our expensive items (which she replaced, only to have them chewed, too.) I estimate that this dog has done about $3,000 worth of damage to our house. To her credit, my wife is doing everything with this dog because I'm afraid I have made good on my promise to do (almost) nothing. To emphasize, this is 99% because I have no additional time, or energy. She's exhausted. I have walked the dog, rarely, when she is too tired - but really only in an attempt to tire the dog, so it stops chewing up our house. She tried to integrate me more with the dog, but I can't stand it. It bites (it's a puppy, I get it, it's not evil), it jumps on your face when sitting/resting, it barks at night...there is nothing to like about this animal, as far as I am concerned. I resent the hell out of this dog, and push it away when it approaches me. I feel bad, but can't emphasize how much I do not want this furry little chore machine.
I don't know what the solution is here, perhaps if I continue to ignore the dog it will avoid me...(I'll never be actively cruel or abusive although I am aware that some will consider this action abusive in itself) and perhaps (hopefully) it settles in with the wife/kids and stops tearing up the house. AITA for behaving this way? (And if I am, I don't know what the solution is!) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
c7DCtRISzMilgkUm9ymQXmEhB9Ce8o8N | a3pmmj | {
"description": "cutting people out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cutting people out of my life? | This is addressing many situations, so I'll try to not let this get out of hand. Specifically last year, as I was planning my birthday. People were complaining to me that I wasn't doing enough. I wanted to go to Renaissance festival. I was paying for everyone's ticket but one person (this person I had given cash to for gas many times, as well as paid for their entrance to other events and paid for their meals, all as a thank you for driving me around so much). I got super sick from the stress of planning my birthday.
Specifically from people going behind my back, changing plans without telling me. Plans that specifically involved me. And then getting mad at me when I addressed them about said plan.
I cancelled my party because I was sick (thankfully I hadn't paid for anything yet). I then cut out about 3 of those friends that day without a word. I had issues with these friends for awhile before hand and had called them out for crappy behavior a few times. They'd apologize and go back to treating me like crap within a few days.
I didn't feel like explaining to them why their behavior upset me. Because it clearly didn't get anywhere in the past and I was tired of putting my mental health on the line for people who obviously didn't care.
I have been told by many that just blocking without a word is the worst thing you can do. I honestly don't care. I don't think it's my responsibility to give someone closure for the end of a toxic friendship. I don't think it's my responsibility to go through the emotional labor of telling them what they did wrong when they have a history of not listening, and it's going to do me more harm than good.
I know I'm selfish for this line of thinking, but my mental health has been so much better this past year and a half for living life in this way. I have so much better friends now, and I don't have a bunch of drama and toxicity following me around anymore.
So am I the asshole for cutting toxic (I do not hesitate to call them toxic) friends out of my life without a word? Am I further an asshole for not caring about whatever emotional things they needed to go through after this?
**TL;DR** AITA for cutting out toxic friends suddenly by blocking them and never speaking to them again? Am I further the asshole for not caring what emotional strife this may have caused? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
SW2WmUuavwvQOR6CLZCOVDIV0dQqPkDo | b2pitu | {
"description": "warning my friend that she shouldn't date another friend of mine and spilling everything he confided in me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for warning my friend (F) that she shouldn’t date another friend of mine (M) and spilling everything he confided in me? | My brother (M28) dated IND1 (F 24) for 3 yrs. They had a great relationship & supportive community of friends/fam. My (M30) girlfriend (F25) and I spent a lot of time w them, went on trips (camping , rock climbing etc). Over the last 18 mo, I noticed red flags about my bro’s behavior. I tried reaching out, I didn’t do it in a way he would respond positively to and he ended up pushing me away. Long story short, he confessed to me he had an entire separate relationship with another woman, had sexual encounters w multiple other women, & had been dabbling in drugs/alcohol. He also told IND1. She didn’t want anything to do w him after that. Our community was obviously fractured. I care about IND1. What my brother did was incredibly hurtful & wrong but I love him and will be there for him. A friend of ours (M26) – IND2, has always been around at group outings. He & his girlfriend have been together for as long as we’ve known them. He for some reason confided in me that he cheated many times. He also always made odd comments about IND1, which I always tried to redirect bc they seemed entirely inapprop. He made a comment once abt the physical appearance of IND1 wearing spandex while she was still dating my brother. I ended up telling him that he had to keep my girlfriend &IND1 out of our conversations if we were to be friends – that I could listen to him and let him vent, but we had to set strict boundaries. He & his girlfriend broke up at some point; he says she never knew about his other partners. So really, the only person in this entire clusterf* who knows about his character is me. F-fwd to tday. IND2 has been hanging out w IND1 & wants to go out on a dbl date. I have 0 interest in making friends, or going on dbl dates. All I want to do is tend to my relationships (girlfriend, bro, family). Knowing that he and I are friends, she asked me what I thought abt him. I told her everything I knew. That he had always made sexual comments about her body, & he cheated on his girlfriend for over 2 yrs much like my brother had. That although her personal life was not my business, I couldn’t willingly withhold that info from her& that unless she was willing to go thru another similar situation, she shouldn’t date him.
I feel like a broke his trust by spilling everything abt him to IND1. I also feel that I unknowingly covered for my brother. I always gave my brother the benefit of the doubt, w the obvious red flags I didn’t say anything to IND1 bc I trusted my brother & though I suspected something I couldn’t prove it.
AITA for telling IND1 everything that IND2 confided in me? The last thing I want is for her to be played by IND2 who seems to have swooped in to cash in on an apparent opportunity. She has no interest in him now, and IND2 will probably find out soon what I told her. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
foZKQsEpMYb9KOBj04QNZrWokQZ701Xf | axftsu | {
"description": "carrying on an argument, when they never appologized",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for carrying on an argument, when they never appologized? | For context, my dad bought me a 1999 BMW m3. It's a nice car and I'm really grateful for it. This weekend he went on an out of state trip and me, my sister, and my mom stayed home. None of us (from my knowledge) touched the BMW. My dad decided to go out to the car and dink around with the CDs since we hadn't tested that yet, while I stayed inside. While there he decided to put the top down (it's a convertible). When he did this he heard something shatter like glass. He came in and immediately started saying someone was screwing with the car. I reply,
"I don't think anyone has touched the car this weekend" and "I didn't touch it". He starts screaming someone is lying and is slamming things and throwing things. I start yelling back
"Well I didn't touch it" and go outside to read a book. A couple hours later and I'm still pissed about being accused of screwing with it when I've never even touched the exterior without him around and I'm always honest, I'm not some rebellious teen. I'm a four point o 16 year old taking college classes. My dad started talking to me like earlier exchange never happened, and since I'm still annoyed, I give short answers. He started yelling at me again about why I won't let it go and I told him
"You yelled at me for something I didn't do and you never said sorry." He then gets mad again and starts yelling about someone lying to him. I'm still pissed, but should I just let it go? Am I being an asshole by caring it on? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8jBajJG4V4BehDasCTXcWdhHiNNvPY4Y | av7ojs | {
"description": "laughing at someone getting pulled over",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for laughing at someone getting pulled over? | It was heavily snowing nickel sized flakes since 1pm here and by the time I was off work there was a good inch of slippery, treacherous sludge on top of the asphalt. I decided to take the boring drive home. One of the big reasons I hate going that way is an intolerably short light where the two big roads cross. It has two lanes but the left lane becomes a turn only almost immediately after the intersection and is an invitation for asshole behavior as most civilized people stay right and wait their turn. I have occasionally been that asshole, but today I decided to be patient. I waited 3 turns of the light in that damn right lane, and suddenly I hear the sounds of an asshole who's had enough of this waiting bullshit. He's driving a Challenger. Of course he is. He's decided to enter a torquey rear wheel drive car in a drag race - ON FUCKING SNOW. I am silently seething thinking if I was up front I could totally take him because AWD + TURBO + SNOW = WINNING. Fact. I see someone else jump out to cut the line with him. Fucker! Both these jackasses are going to dive in front of the people in front of me and I'll be lucky to make the light. Then I realize it's got government wheels. It's an unmarked Explorer. Mopar Douche had no idea there's a cop right behind him. His rear window is covered in snow. I switch from seething to anticipation... Oh shit! He's gonna go sliding through the intersection and get lit up by Burger King. He creeps on the red light - violation 1. He can be pulled over any time now. He creeps again. Then again. He's almost in the crosswalk before the other light even goes yellow. I take it all in. He gets on it as soon as the light goes green and gets a good foot or so of tail movement from tire spin. He's still going faster than the guy on the right. He does a bit more fishtailing and then cut over right. The Explorer is right behind him four cars ahead. He doesn't pull him over. I'm mad again. Traffic ahead of me slows down as someone makes a left. Traffic gets going again, and there I see it - the sex lights on the right shoulder. Am I the asshole for literally laughing out loud at watching instant karma play out? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8z6ZVnJLHcdDuNNF5YuZfreyEw3II1NN | aq8b59 | {
"description": "not wanting my so' mom to move in our new home with us and for telling him that I don't - after she lost her job and home",
"pronormative_score": 87,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for NOT wanting my SO’ mom to move in our new home with us and for telling him that I don’t - after she lost her job and home? | Just to give you guys some very important context / I come from a very wealthy family, my partner comes from quite the opposite. My dad very generously bought me a house at the start of this year which my partner and I have just moved into.
My partners (of three years) mom has been going through a bit of a rough spot in life and has become increasingly isolated. She just lost her job and was given 2 months to leave her rental property as her landlord is selling. Long story short, she’s moving in with us (we have 3 spare bedrooms so space isn’t the issue).
I strongly believe that family is supposed to help each other when things get tough... but my main concerns are:
1) she is very, very moody and can be quite abrasive. Every time we visit her - it always gets to the point where my SO and I are both like “okay time to go home now!”. I don’t want to feel that way in my new home, which I have been very excited about moving into for a while now.
2) all of her bad circumstances have come as a result of some pretty shitty life decisions on her behalf (I.e she just up and left her partner of 5 years randomly, quit her job and lived off all of her savings until it ran out, moved out to the middle of nowhere by herself on 100 acres, tried to get back with said partner she left, etc...). She is a very good person, but just damaged and does not know how to sustain healthy relationships (with friends and family too). She had so many opportunities to not be in this situation and yet she managed to ruin all of them. And at each point I was internally screaming “what are you doing?!?!”. All of this makes empathising with her current situation harder for me.
3) my partner has a lot of shame about his poor upbringing - and does not want my dad finding out about his mom moving in with us (because he fears my dad perceiving his family in a negative light - or that they’re using me). But he’s also very concerned about his usually stoic mother, who recently confessed to him she’s been having suicidal thoughts. He also totally respected if I felt the need to tell my dad (who lives on the other side of the world) - but I just don’t want to live with a secret. And tbh, I don’t want my dad perceiving the situation any other way than it is. I think he will assume I’m being taken advantage of.
4) I work from home. I thoroughly enjoy my alone time during the day. She will be in the house all day, every day. I have to move my office into a room now.
5) she has the most annoying, barking dog that sheds everywhere. He’s a bad influence on my dog (makes him start barking when around) and she has an entire different set of rules for her dog than I have for mine. I just really don’t want to live with her dog. I LOVE dogs, but this one just... frustrates me.
6) I was so excited to have my own home that I could have my friends come and visit - and it feels like her living with us will change the dynamics. I almost feel like I’m back in high school again.
Her horse just recently died and she loved this horse dearly. But for some reason, when my partner was discussing the logistics of her moving in, I couldn’t help but express my DISCONTENT with the situation. It came out - and I told him I’m just very unhappy with it, and that I can’t pretend to be happy. But I also said I understand why it has to happen. He was hurt, but also worried. He felt embarrassed about the situation but said his need to make sure his mom is okay overrides his uncomfortable feelings.
I think my biggest frustration is knowing that her moving in is only a bandaid fix, and that she needs to change some fundamental issues in the way she deals with life so she dosent end up in the same situation / relying on us physically, emotionally and financially. What’s the long term solution?!
AITA for not being more empathetic towards my future future MIL and for low-key making my SO feel guilty by passive aggressively expressing my frustration with the situation? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 63,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 24,
"INFO": 4
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 87,
"WRONG": 10
} | RIGHT |
hrMDevqtk7mYibdOCSXE6UUsK01T3vWc | b0mzpq | {
"description": "missing my grandmothers funeral",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I missed my grandmothers funeral? | TL/DR at the bottom:
Grandmother has been pretty bad off and on for the last 12+ years. Beat breast cancer, had a few heart attacks, even had her memory go for a while there and that even started to come back. She just had to be airlifted to a hospital (they live out in the middle of nowhere) because they believe she was having a pretty severe stroke. I'm definitely not wishing this be the end....it just seems like it could be.
The issue I have now, is that I live 1200 miles away without a car (live in a city, don't need for day to day life), with my now pregnant fiancee. I know my mom would fly me out, but I also need to save all the PTO I have from work for when our baby comes so I can be there for those first few weeks because she is going to need all the help she can get.
The last time I saw my grandmother was in November, that was a really hard time because she could hardly remember anything and was having fits in the nursing home she was in because she would wake up not knowing where she was or thought that the nurses were poisoning her and not letting her leave. She would eventually calm down, but only when family was around to get her back in a lucid state. I felt, after I left that last time, that it would be the last time I saw her alive and kind of came to terms with that on the drive back with my mom to her house.
As much as I love my grandmother, we never really saw eye to eye through most my life. Instead of being that grandmother figure, she would always more be the disciplinary/judgmental figure while I was growing up. She always questioned every little thing I did, especially in my teenage/early 20s years to the point where it became a task to go see her because I knew I was going to be berated every time. The saving grace being my grandfather is pretty much the perfect example of a grandfather type. I feel like my mom would understand why I couldn't make it, I just don't know about the rest of the family.
WIBTA?
TLDR: Live a long distance away from grandparents, even though mom would pay for my flight I feel I need to save PTO for the birth of my child. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
dFFbx37vOc0GbJ3CtAeupnLygjU5fjFl | atuga9 | {
"description": "baiting a homeless person",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for baiting a homeless person | Yesterday I was sitting on the subway back from practice. I have some noise canceling headphones on, and I was looking straight forward. Then a homeless person came in and started asking everyone for money. I did'nt notice him at first. I wanted to get my phone to check my messages, and when I started to reach for my pocket I heard him saying "Thank you thank you". I realised what had happened and said "Ow I don't have any money on me", and the guy just keeps walking after that. I heard him going to the next trolley and giving a speech about how he was homeless and needed money for food. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
BdZhdod5SHOF5fEIPNehtraoAJF1IXpR | atqyh7 | {
"description": "kicking out a jobless friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA For kicking out a jobless friend? | I live in a 3 bedroom home and we're in the process of having the other two roommates move out and having two new roommates moving in before the end of the month.
Roommate 1 has already moved out most of his stuff except as few this.
Roommate 2 ( we'll call him Jake) recently lost his job and is starting a new work from home that makes barely any money.
Jake has known about the change in roommates for the last 2 months and we're nearing the end of the month and he hasn't moved an inch. Nothing is packed but he says he's looking.
I know he doesn't have the money for rent or utilities.
The new roommate taking his room is all ready to move in and has his stuff packed.
Would I be the asshole if, come the beginning of the month, kick him out? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
EKjTZkRB467YApWg9Hv0mZPMtZD2bS3H | b0ths8 | {
"description": "thinking my peer at work is a control freak",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for thinking my peer at work is a control freak? | I've been on this project at work for a software pilot for months now. Both myself and "Tara" had been assigned to this project as co-managers. I've had bad experiences with her in a past project - she basically pushed me out by withholding info and excluding me from meetings - but I've tried my best to forget about it. But this one's not going so smoothly, either.
Tara's demanded that I run every email past her, run every potential meeting time past her (even though I can see when people are free because calendars), every idea I've proposed to her she's shot down, etc.
She's also pulled me into private meetings with her where she literally just criticizes me the whole time. Tara's criticized me for:
\-answering questions the software company has of us ("you didn't have to answer that for them so quickly - you don't owe them speed; they're serving us, and you should run your response by me first anyways").
\-sympathizing/agreeing with another employee on the project when they privately voiced frustrations about the software.
\-offering to help the database transition go a bit smoother for the software company (it would have taken seconds for us to do, whereas the other method would have taken the company hours). When I explained to her why I offered, she grew angry and said, "Well, that's their problem to deal with."
Tara's also tried to get the project manager on the software company's end in trouble with his boss. She's kept records of every (actual or not) mistake he's made - told me to do the same - and reported them to his boss when he's been nothing but very polite to us.
She's consistently hostile in the meetings with them, too. She's accusatory and passive aggressive and very demanding.
Today was the final straw, however. She wrote out what she intended to do next to myself and our managers. Part of that was related to asking the company more about the data transfer - my area of expertise as someone in IT - and she'd mentioned that she was going to be busy all day, so I responded and told her I'd contact them about that particular matter to save her time.
She asked me privately if I'd asked my manager his opinion, first. I responded and copied him on the email and said that I had, in person. She whipped back and wrote like four paragraphs about how I shouldn't have sent the company the question, there was no need for urgency, "I was going to ask them that in my email tomorrow along with other things, perhaps I wasn't clear enough? I appreciate that you're eager to move the project along, but we should really work to improve our workflow". Worse yet, she copied my manager on it.
I know this might be a "duh, you're NTA", but for someone to be this extreme, it makes me wonder if I'm doing something incredibly wrong to have made her feel she needs to control everything? That I did something bad/am incompetent enough to provoke this reaction from her? Or is she just as bonkers as I'm thinking she is? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mXghUnOrvAPNXIV7zJsx1d3VeVUWUYzL | apxyte | {
"description": "making my mum wait an extra 15 minutes after school",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA, for making my mum wait an extra 15 minutes after school | I was writing an essay for last class, and I wasn't done, more than half the class wasn't, my teacher gave us an extra 15 minutes to write and I took it all, and still didn't get it done, but that's beside the point.
I walk out of school to my see my mum waiting outside the car furious, she's yelling at me and calling me a fool and an idiot in front of the rest of my classmates that left after 15 minutes were up too.
"why didn't you call me what was happening, what's wrong with you, you're an idiot for making me wait, stupid girl"
i didn't call because it was basically an exam and time sensitive, calling would have wasted half my time and it would make no sense to not just leave instead of calling, it was just 15 minutes, not an extra hour.
she doesn't understand why I don't want to talk to her after embarrassing me in front of my peers for something so small. I would have rather her just leave instead of waiting for me to just disgrace me like that.
she thinks I'm mad and can't take "correction" no, I can take correction, what I won't forgive is you berating me in front of everyone I have to tomorrow and for weeks after that. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FVTEHSnAKF9PVZb9X1X9PObsj2xe3u3V | 9ymb5z | {
"description": "asking my roommate to play music when her boyfriend is over",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA by asking my roommate to play music when her boyfriend is over? | My roommate is more than welcome to be as intimate as she likes. But I don’t necessarily enjoy hearing it. I asked her to put her tv on louder or play some music or something and her reaction was almost as if I’d asked her to join or something. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
9Xbrbofp4D5n1AvCbd0l6YnY8PhBGaSC | afqih3 | {
"description": "breaking off a friendship over an ex",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for breaking off a friendship over an ex ? | So when I was in high school I came out as bisexual an usually hang around LGBTQ+ people and I had a friend who stood out the most (let's call her Karen).
Karen was a caring friend who stood beside me on most of my problems (mostly family issues) and I felt like she was a sister to me.
About 2 years later I started hooking up with a mutual friend of ours. We hooked up for about 6 months when I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said no, and, in hindsight, she actually told me she wanted nothing serious when we started seeing each other. I took it pretty badly. I still liked her. But my friends helped me through.
Fast foward a couple of months, another mutual friend of ours was moving to another country and threw a party. Seeing that he knew all four of us, he invited us all. I still liked my ex, and everyone knew (seeing that I was still a little bit depressed over we "breaking up"), however I said to myself that it was the last opportunity to see my friend and I shouldn't let it get in the way.
So I went to the party with my friends. After a couple of hours, and drinks, we were all a little bit drunk, and I saw Karen and my ex kissing. Not saying that I own any of them, and that they owed me anything, it made me upset that Karen actually hooked up with someone she knew I liked without her talking to me (again, not saying that she needed permission, but I think she could've given me a heads up, since she knew that it would've hurt me)
About half an hour after I confronted Karen and her only response was that she knew I wouldn't like it, but she was into her (my ex), but thought it would end our friendship, so she would rather do it and say she was sorry later.
The fact that she knew that it would hurt me made me think that she was doing it only to make me miserable, which led to me cutting all ties with her. But a few days later I learned that she liked my ex long before she and I got in a "relationship",but never said anything, and suffered the same fate that I did.
​
TL;DR: Friend hooked up with an ex I still had feelings for
​
AITA for cutting off ties with Karen ? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
oteL3oGivLguda4UsxCQgI6svryVcwOM | aez288 | {
"description": "refusing to help my half-sibling live a better life",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing to help my half-sibling live a better life? (Long post) | I lived in the philippines with my brothers when I was growing up while my parents worked overseas. My mom worked in Canada and my dad worked in Hong kong. When i turned 16 it was time that me and my brothers immigrated to Canada to have a better life with my mom, my dad followed us from hong kong. It was now our first time living together as a family. During our time together, my mom learned that my dad cheated on her and I have a half-brother in the philippines. It was a tough time for my mother since she had kidney problems and has been doing dialysis 3 times a week and the stress was not helping.
​
After a few years my mom moved on and still learned to accept my dad so we were still living in the same house. Before I used to look up to my dad and have been yearning for that father-son bond, but during this time living with him I realized how much of an asshole he turned out to be. I tried connecting with him trying to share some stories of my day but every conversation turns into something so negative.
​
"hey dad, So I met a new friend at school today"
"is it a girl?"
"No, hes a boy"
"You hangout with boys a lot, you should go for the hot girls so you can get a girlfriend"
"Anyways dad, yeah on our way to his place his turban got stuck on the--"
"Turban?? dont ever hang out with muslims they--"
"Dad hes not even Muslim... Anyways we played mario--"
"YOURE ALWAYS PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES YOU SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING THAT WILL HELP YOU!"
​
Im not the kind of person to hold a grudge so I always try to find a way to have a good meaningful relationship with my dad when I get the chance. But he is just a vile person and I cant stand it. When I had my first girlfriend cheated on me and I had my first break up, I was in a dark part of my life and I went to my family for support. I thought this would be a good time to have a moment with my dad and see if he can endow me with any wisdom that he has but alas, when I told him the story he just fails to see how much of a dick he is. Instead of giving words of comfort or assurance like a real person he told me that I should have fucked my girlfriend better so that she wouldnt go and look for another dick and it was my fault. I truly could not believe what he just said but I was young and for days I kept having an inner conflict whether he was right or not. Obviously it was wrong and a fucked up way to think about the situation.
​
Anyways back to when I was in my first year in university, my dad went back to the philippines to visit the kid for a couple of days. Family means a lot to us so we were alright with that action. Now I am in my 4th year of university my dad called everyone to meet. He confessed that he has another child with his mistress and the girl is now 3 years old. He cheated twice on my mother and he even had the nerve to ask us (since we are Canadian citizens and he isnt) if we can help my dad sponsor the 2 kids AND the wife in order for them to immigrate to Canada. My brother was furious and told my dad to get out of the house. He will now be leaving our lives this march.
​
I knew how it felt being cheated on but I couldnt imagine the pain my mother is going through since he did this twice. Although he is an asshole, I know that my mom truly loved him.
​
Although this was such a shitty turnout, I cant help but feel so happy that I dont get to see my dad anymore, he has brought nothing but negativity to the household.
​
Although he did provide for the family (not even much since he had to provide for my half-siblings too) and I wouldnt be where I am without him, Are we the assholes for kicking him out of the house and refusing to help the other family have a better life here in Canada as well as preventing the two kids from growing up without a father like me and my brothers did? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
icnonALkOABvpPWBi6P1RB0mFGuRzkfV | aij9vw | {
"description": "not wanting to be in my friend's wedding party",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to be in my friend's wedding party? | So recently my friend asked me to a bridesmaid for her upcoming wedding that is less then three months away at this point. Now I'm very flattered she asked, but Bride To Be has informed me that the only reason she asked me to be in the party is because the girl who originally was filling the roll dropped out, and she can't think of anyone else who could fill in on such short notice.
To be honest I wasn't even sure I was going to be invited to this wedding in the first place, let alone in the party, because Bride To Be was originally getting married in a courthouse, but then decided she wants a big ol' shindig on a farm (oh joy, the smell of horse excrement wafting across the field as Bride and Groom exchange vows).
Anyways, in addition to being a last resort option there are certain requirements I must do for the wedding.
1.) The color scheme is some ugly blue/green shade (Bride To Be has yet to inform me what specific shade of said color I am to wear), so I am to wear a blue/green bowtie and cummerbund. (Yes, I am female. No, I will not wear a dress or skirt. Bride To Be is okay with this and even seems to be encouraging the suit.)
2.) Have my hair a "natural color". (My hair is dyed whatever color I need it to be for work related purposes. I've tried explaining this to Bride To Be but she doesn't seem to care.)
3. Deal with/ignore Groom To Be's extremely religious parents who will undoubtedly not be happy that a woman is in a suit and is one if the bridesmaids. (This is also why I must have my hair a natural color because apparently "funky" colored hair is the devil.)
Honestly I don't really even care about the ugly color or religion parents, but asking me to change my hair for one day when I need my hair certain colors for work is what really bothers me.
So yeah, AITH here for wanting to back out of this wedding? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
MCmNOmid6pqOINGSfElBXumHS6tYUwpB | b2apr1 | {
"description": "not mourning my stepdads death",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not mourning my stepdads death? | So this a long story but I’ll put a TLDR at the bottom.
I met my stepdad when I was five, my mum and dad had divorced that year and then my mum met my stepdad (he shall be named Rob). He got cancer so we moved in with him, it was all pretty quick and sudden, my mum, my big brother and me.
2 years later, his cancer was gone, my little brother was born and Rob and mum were engaged.
Before all this, things were okay. I had a nice relationship with Rob. At least that’s what I am told I don’t really remember.
Now every memory I have of Rob from the age of 7-20 are horrible memories, he was abusive to me and my big brother, who is autistic. Physically, emotionally and verbally abusive. He would comment on my weight starting at a young age, invade my personal space and privacy by going through my phone and internet history, because he looked through my history he found out I was bisexual and he outted me to my mum who I wasn’t comfortable knowing about that, he would hit me as a punishment and swear at me. We had different political and moral opinions and would constantly argue about that. He favoured his real son over me or my brother because he was a little angel and I was the family freak (his words). Im always compared to my little brother who wins all the awards at school because he’s so academic and smart, while I’m artsy and I won awards for reading a Robert burns poem and designing some sportswear. He was the first person I told about me being clinically depressed and he shrugged it off saying “I am far more depressed than you”.
Everything I did wasn’t good enough for him. I knew we were never going to get along as people.
Then Rob was diagnosed with cancer again. I was in my 2nd last year of high school so I threw myself into my studies instead of caring about Rob. Rob was then cured of this cancer but he was still feeling ill and then he died a few years later (last July). They think they didn’t get all the cancer out or it was a brain tumour I don’t know. He died when my wee brother was 13 so it hit him hard.
Now this is where I think I’m an asshole. I’m kinda glad he’s dead. I don’t need to deal with his lies, his down grading, the destructiveness, his narcissism, his ego. I don’t need to deal with any of that any more. I’m free. I’m so happy I’m free from this hatred that clouded my life for so long. He was one of the reasons I was depressed. I hated myself so much because of him.
But I can’t help but feel, this isn’t how I’m supposed to feel. I’m supposed to be sad he’s gone, upset that he won’t see his son go to university, sad he won’t see my win any awards, I’m supposed to be sad. But I’m not.
Does that make me an asshole?
.
.
.
TLDR - Stepdad is verbally, emotionally and psychically abusive to me since I was 7, he had cancer twice and then passed away in July (I was 20 then), I don’t feel sad because he’s dead and that makes me feel like an asshole. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
yPkG18Vi0aOQFBRscyxRLBTn9SQUoNcK | b858bi | {
"description": "not wanting to give my (ex)friend and her boyfriend a chance",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to give my (ex)friend and her boyfriend a chance | Some background info as to why I’m really hesitant on meeting them.
When I was in my last year of secondary school my friends and I went on this trip with the high school and had volunteer counselors. One of them was a man closer to 30 finishing up his college degree. Initially he seemed ok, we asked him questions about college, jobs, just normal future questions you’d ask say a teacher.
Well fasts forward my friend began speaking to him more and it went from school to flirting. I was pretty weirded out but figured, hey it’s a grown man, she probably says they’re flirting but it’s not and I told her to be careful. Well they got together a few months before she turned legal.
I had a lot of red flags going off in my head. And I warned her again but again I never got directly involved for months when their relationship began. What she told me was that he had gotten out of a long committed relationship a while back ago, he convinced her to start drinking, smoking, having sex, which in itself isn’t totally bad. But what worried me was that in all the time I’ve known her, she had constantly told us her faith won’t let her and that she’s loyal to her God and would never betray her parents who I’m not gonna lie, were pretty damn strict. She threw that out the window pretty quickly.
She would take him with her whenever we hung out. It was weird that a grown man was hanging out with high school girls even if he was claiming he was trying to get to know his girlfriend’s friends better. I told her again I was uncomfortable with him and she in turn told one of our mutual friends that she and her boyfriend thought I needed to get my head out of my ass and not be so jealous over their relationship and stop being delusional. There were also a few more hurtful choice words said to me that I rather not repeat and we haven’t spoken since.
It’s been a couple of years since then, but we’re still in the same friend group. They’re still together, a little bit on and off. My friends and I recently agreed to meet on a certain date and because our schedules are so busy, it’s really rare that we all get together. However she wants to come and bring her boyfriend too and I told my friends I possibly will not attend if she’s there with him. A larger chunk of my conscious agrees their relationship is really weird, another part of me is beginning to doubt if I was wrong about him since they’re still together after so long. My friends want me to come but I can’t forget the horrible things they both said about me not even to my face with no apology and the fact that they don’t think anything was wrong with him pursuing a 17 year old when he was almost 30. Friends might not be calling me an asshole to my face but I can tell some of them are disappointed in me.
So AITA for not wanting to even give them, especially him, a chance and possibly miss the one chance my friends and I get to gather?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
frlztHEu8H2uUquO7ytdxbISUTUgkSSe | ahri4a | {
"description": "telling my fiancée that we can't have a wedding",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | AITA for telling my fiancée that we can’t have a wedding? | So my fiancée and I have been together almost 4 years now and we are getting ready to plan a wedding. The thing is that we cannot afford it. I make good money but she doesn’t and, while we live comfortably, we aren’t able to really save much money (other than my 401k).
So we are heading to the grocery store and she brings up that if we save $300 a month for the next year and a half, we should have close to $10k. Then we can just take a loan out for the rest. I said, absolutely not, I refuse to take a loan out for a one day event. She then got defensive and brought up that we paid $6000 for a fence, and I shot that down as an argument.
After going back and forth I said we are not having a wedding we can’t afford, if we don’t have the money, we don’t have the wedding. Now she isn’t talking to me and has been in the bedroom for the last 3 hours. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 10,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 4
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 19
} | WRONG |
j5Z6ucgwdSDaH95e1SwursffN26YlcaC | a4jfgh | {
"description": "getting upset that someone wont spend meaningful time with me even though they are really busy",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for getting upset that someone wont spend meaningful time with me even though they are really busy | Some background info, I'm 20 have and live at home with my mom. She is a teacher and currently I have no job and am not going to school (don't know what I'd go to school for and getting a part time job, which is all I could do as I'm relied on to be home during the day, would basically only pay for the transportation to and from said job).
I help a lot around the house, cooking dinner, cleaning, and most importantly watch/take care of my 10 year old twin brothers when my mom is at work. Although I also have to take care of them a lot when she is home as she has homework to grade and things of that nature. This hampers my ability to go out with friends most days as well, along with them having their own busy schedules.
Anyways I pretty much daily ask my Mom to do things with me, play board games, watch a movie, watch TV, make dinner together, etc. She frequently turns me down during the weekdays which I understand for the most part as she has to go to bed early and get up early as well as having to do work from home. This still bums me out sometimes because she chooses to do mindless stuff like browse Facebook or watch reality TV instead. Occasionally she will also just watch a good movie or TV show or do something completely on her own, that I would enjoy doing with her, without telling me and that really upsets me.
But what this post is really about (feel free to comment on the rest though) is tonight I wanted to go see a movie because my brothers were going to their fathers for the night. So basically my Mom and I could actually go see a good, adult movie that we wanted to see. There was really only one time we could go based on when my brothers were being picked up and that was 9 PM. My Mom claimed 9 PM was too late even though as I'm writing this (Midnight) my Mom is still awake and the movie would have ended over an hour ago.
I got very upset because there are very few times that we could go see a movie together as my brothers only go to their dads once, maybe twice a month. Basically its rare that we have the opportunity to do something together out of the house.
I told my Mom I think she is an asshole and selfish with her free time. I think calling her an asshole was probably too much but I really wasn't trying to be mean, I was just saying how I felt. And besides those two things I said I mostly just told her that what she did upset me.
After a while of talking she mentioned that we spend tons of time together (she was talking about when we are both in the living room). I said "that's not really what I'm talking about because you mostly sit on your phone and tell me that I'm bossy and rude anyways." She started to say "well you are really bossy" but I cut her off after that and told her to "fuck off." The bossiness shes talking about btw is when I tell my brothers to turn the volume of their tablets down/wear headphones if we are all in the living room. Like I said they are 10 and watch annoying YouTube videos so I don't think its an absurd request.
She hasn't apologized for anything yet either btw and I feel like she really should.
So am I the asshole here for demanding too much of my moms free time? I feel like my mom has been and was tonight, very rude and selfish especially since its so rare we have an opportunity to go see a movie together. I still love my Mom obviously just wondering if I have the right to be as upset as I am here. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
rAMzr7RPjZsfXVQoFE5VNNSqYUjaX3ew | 9yisvd | {
"description": "shouting at my neighbours after one of them entered my flat without permission",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for shouting at my neighbours after one of them entered my flat without permission. | So I was in a bath the other night and had over filled it. This lead to water spilling out of the bath and apparently into the flat below. They came up the stairs and knocked on the door to inform me. I said I didn't know that and that I would investigate for them and that I was sorry. I went back inside and decided to finish my bath first before investigating as I didn't realise the urgency of the matter. A few minutes later I heard some bumps from outside the bathroom, so I got out to investigate. As I opened the door I happened to open it into the female neighbour. I panicked, covered my naked genitals and shouted "Get out." She didn't, so I shouted "Get the fuck out" and other variations. I then proceeded to escort her out of the flat with one hand on my groin to cover it up. She claims I was pushing her and that she left immediately but I have no recollection of that. I went back inside and dried off. I dressed and then went downstairs. I saw the woman on the stairs and said "How dare you come into my flat without permission?". This descended into a massive shouting match between me and the couple. The husband and I got eye to eye to argue and the wife then put her hand on my upper chest/neck area which I swiped away (similar to that thing with Jim Acosta the CNN reporter and the woman trying to take the mic from him) because it was a tense aggressive situation and she put her hand on me. The husband then screamed about how he would attack me if I ever put my hands on her again. Eventually we went our separate ways although definitely not amicably and with them threatening to call the police on me. I went up stairs and also phoned the police. Whilst upstairs I proceeded to stomp around incredibly loudly, this I totally acknowledge I was the asshole for doing. They then told the police that I had been staring into their first floor window from the ground, menacingly at some point in the past, that I had tried to spit on the man, none of which is even close to true. So my question is simply am I the asshole. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
vM2EuTUeKoaIqKYAKWNwBZM9PARmKdNo | b2ovjl | {
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend for a \"prank\"",
"pronormative_score": 360,
"contranormative_score": 25
} | AITA For breaking up with my girlfriend for a "prank" | Try to keep this as brief as possible. Girlfriend and I have been together 2 years, were recently looking to move in together. She was going to spend the rest of the month in her apartment then move into my place, and she's been spending most days over here anyway gradually moving some of her stuff in.
This is fucking gross, so fair warning. For the three days straight she's been over I've noticed an odd smell when I picked up my toothbrush. I wasn't sure what it was so I rinsed it and kept using it as normal. One morning she asked me if I had noticed anything different, but refused to elaborate when I asked for an explanation so I was on high alert now. I left my phone running in the washroom peaking out of the towel cabinet that faces the sink, and I totally get how invasive that was and if it turned out I was wrong I was prepared to admit to it and accept the consequences for my assumptions as they came.
Turns out she had been rubbing my toothbrush inside her pants in the mornings as she wakes up before me and putting it back in the container. When I got my phone and seen the video I was livid, and confronted her immediately. She reacted like it was a gigantic joke, laughing, trying to hug me and saying she wanted to see how long it'd take for me to figure it out. Apparently she viewed it as a prank.
I felt incredibly disgusted and betrayed, I feel like it's disrespectful and not at all a prank and it's unhygienic. It's not even like she did it once, she had been doing it for days. I told her to get the stuff that she had brought over in the past few days and leave, that I didn't want to be with her anymore.
She's absolutely dumbfounded I could see this as anything other than a harmless prank. It's her opinion that it shouldn't matter because I washed it before use anyway. On one hand, she's been so inconsolable and has been begging me to reconsider so much that I'm second guessing my decision to end it and wondering whether I'm being too harsh. On the other hand, if this is her idea of a prank and the sort of thing she can do, not only do I not trust her in my house around my stuff, I don't trust her in general. Am I the asshole if I want to end things? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 353,
"EVERYBODY": 12,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 9
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 360,
"WRONG": 25
} | RIGHT |
HoEksIz5L3GVR2LUgrk30TbP0epFtPEp | a3ojwk | {
"description": "ignoring my MIL",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for ignoring my MIL(mother in law) | I have been recently informed by my wife, that I ignore my MIL, we live 1 hour away from both families, and visit them once in a month or two.
Now this requires a little more backstory and I will request your apology for I am on my phone and on a train.
The main story revolves around our wedding and the actors in this story are my mother, MIL, wife and me. (My father as any logical male avoids any wedding preparations for he knows he will be eaten alive by the female crew)
A short bio of the main cast:
Mother: kind, warm, social, the leader in her social group, lower middle class, touching love language, in debt from young foolish mistakes and the strongest woman I know.
Wife: smart af, kind, finished college, was a tomboy in he teens, has a silly personality, quality time love language, bad at reading people's expression and quite bad with interacting with humans.
Me: smart, gamer, in middle of engineering uni, big frame, kind, impossible to make angry, always smiles, touching love language, loves to help and confident.
MIL: raised her daughter alone, worked for the past 20 years 7 days a week as a house maid, no friends, gift love language, not in debt and lonely.
Happened two years ago, I decided to propose to my wife after finishing my mandatory army enlistment, all was great, we flew to Prague to marry(stupid laws in my country), her mother complained that she won't go if I invite more than 5 people, I did as I was instructed, 5 people came from my place, to my amazment I have an extended family in Germany, 30 people came from there, she was furious. At the ceremony her car arrived late and with all the confusion she was sat in the third row(me and my wife didn't notice) while my mother was in the first row, she was furious. Fastforward a year later, my family demand a ceremony in my country, me and wife agree.
2 months before the ceremony I get a call from my mother, she was crying ( I have seen her cry scarcely mind you, this made me furious beyond my expectations) in short: allot of heated words were transfered mostly in the direction of my mother, which hurt her much, I immediately called my MIL and without thinking let loose my anger, frankly I don't remember what I mostly said, but that encounter left me distrustful of her.
Fast forward a week before the ceremony, my mother and father invited around 120 people who they know and respect, my MIL in law invited 6, called my wife and told her she won't come to such a big collection of people, left my wife in tears ( her reasoning are understandable, she has a tendency to distrust others, she feared all those people will come with out money and we will start our new life in debt), later stated the wedding will be the last thing she wants to do with my parents, mind you my father wanted to strangle her but kept his cool.
A year passed since and Everytime we visit the families, if I have to be in MIL house I try to be as quick in my visit as possible, I did this from intuition, I didn't notice this behaviour till last week when my wife mentioned it and revealed to me it hurt her MIL and her, afterwards asked me to not be an asshole and give her mother more from my time, to which I have yet answered, but truly desire to say "fuck her", AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
GFTm0Fu0drEvSQRFcFwDiK0O5StDq5Ou | b5nsa8 | {
"description": "wanting a special proposal",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA For wanting a special proposal | My fiancé (NB19) and I (F20) got engaged last September. They proposed during a fight, without a ring. It was a “NB I’m leaving you I can’t do this anymore” and them saying “no I love you, will you marry me?!” I was shocked and of course said yes because in the moment I was .. well shocked?! We drove to the nearest store that was open at that time (it was 11pm) and it happened to be my contries version of Walmart, and got a $40 ring. I said the next day that I wasn’t happy with the proposal and that ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of a beautiful and thoughtful proposal, and that I wanted a decent ring. They said they would do it again and actually put thought into it, but they still haven’t. Their brother is proposing to his girlfriend this weekend and it’s genuinely triggering for me to watch him plan and buy the ring and be so excited and I’m upset that I never got that. Am I the asshole for wanting my fiancé to buy a new ring (doesn’t even have to be expensive. I’ve said hundereds of times I would be okay with a $100 pandora ring) and put some thought into a genuine proposal? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
7ohCEA3rJk6RRa3LB8FTkqDnpyg0IEaD | aq8f3n | {
"description": "feeling worse after visiting my psychiatrist",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for feeling worse after visiting my psychiatrist? | Apologies for the format; on mobile.
It started smoothly enough. My psychiatrist was asking how I've been, which aspect of my life appeared to have improved, etc. He made me rate from 1-10 my low mood, low energy, and lack of motivation; 1 being the normal and 10 being the absolute worst. I said that my mood was around 1, energy was around 2-3, and motivation as a solid 5. Then he asked my mom what am I like at home. She was like, "oh, he's doing well, but we have planned for him to live in the countryside, but I am the only one shouldering the expenses for the travel, the household expenses, and I have just recovered from the flu so my body's hurting right now. My husband is also a senior but he can't help with the expenses, so I have to find ways to pay for those. I don't know what to do anymore, and my son doesn't know how that fills me with despair. I just want him to be cured, and what else can I do to help?" Those weren't her exact words, but that's the gist of it.
Then my psychiatrist said that it seems to him that I enjoy making her auffer, because I don't seem to care how she's feeling. I need to learn how to stand on my own two feet, because someday my parents will be gone. I should take this time in the countryside to think about what to do in life.
I mean, he's right of course. As if I didn't know that already. My mom complains to anyone and everyone whether they ask how's she's doing or not. I know i'm a useless piece of shit, but should I feel like an asshole too? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
DjyrXxdKBTs1wnyXPoLyuZHElYoaG15S | ad13na | {
"description": "wanting nothing to do with my sister",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting nothing to do with my sister? | So, me and my little sister have always had a rough relationship. We've fought since she learned to talk and walk, and it's been going on for close to 15 years now. We don't physically fight anymore, since I'm a grown man, and she's 15 years old, 5'8 and maybe at most 120lbs. Her attitude however is toxic. When she gets mad at me, even for things like light teasing, she either turns to personal attacks, or violence.
I can't tell you the amount of times she's kicked me in the chest, punched me in the face or something. It's not a big deal physically because I can handle it, it's more a matter of attitude. She makes really nasty remarks when she gets mad, and she seems to provoke me intentionally. When she's not pissed at me she barely acknowledges my existence.
For backstory, when I was younger, years back I was a horrible brother. Up till about 11 I was dealing with severe, unmedicated at the time ADHD, and I was a little shit, I said bad things, and did bad things to her, and I regret it every single day. I know I did wrong as a kid, but it's been years, I've apologized a number of times, and tried to mend the relationship.
I've tried spending time with her, since we do have common interests, but that never ends well since we usually end up blowing up on each other. I love her a lot, but I'm done with her attitude. I've spent the better part of this decade trying to make up for how shitty I was to her as a kid, and she still gives me shit, even when I genuinely try to engage with her. So I don't want anything to do with her, when I move out I'm not sure if I'll ever really speak to her all that much.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to speak to my sister anymore? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
c0GYZdEhwTnOGfWfDHbhjbQU4bi4Uoky | ba030o | {
"description": "putting the brightness all the way up when it was night so then the guy sitting next to me wouldn't be able to sleep",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for putting the brightness all the way up when it was night so then the guy sitting next to me wouldn’t be able to sleep | So, let me explain. Yesterday I took a seven hours bus and it’s already long on its own, let alone when you’re sitting next to someone obnoxious. This guy next to me was spreading his legs on my side more than necessary. He did not need all of that space, and he was also sitting in the aisle seat so he could have leaned towards the corridor. But no, he decided to spread his leg so to take so much room and part of my seat, and he was comfortably spreading his arm too so that I had less than half of my seat. I was not going to tell him because I felt silly but also I thought he would have realised because I was literally squished towards the window and his leg was touching mine which made me really uncomfortable.
I tried to make him understand by putting my bag in between our seat multiple times but he just kept moving it to spread his leg more. Dude I know you need space but I need it to, and considering it was a seven hours journey it was honestly hell. So the guy wouldn’t get the memo, and he was also sleeping all of the time, so it’s not even that I could just casually mention it.
What I did was when it got dark I just put my phone brightness all the way up so it would be blinding even for me. I know it’s petty but I don’t even think he even noticed which makes me even more mad. AITA for wanting to bother him?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
GrGUGyYLBzuvYws8yDmx1MzG0LUlhx6a | ab51on | {
"description": "resenting my sister and some friends encouraging and enabling each other's drug use",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for resenting my sister and some friends encouraging and enabling each other’s drug use? | So, my sister and two of my friends smoke, drink, and vape rather frequently. Sister and one friend have a literal nicotine addiction because it’s their only coping mechanism. This stems from major depression, but neither of them try to make steps to help themselves outside of getting high or drunk. My sister is only 16 and I’m fucking petrified of what might happen to her, so sometimes being around her is really hard. She can’t go more than a couple hours without smoking or vaping because she uses it so frequently and potently. When she drinks she tries to get black-out drunk and there have been times where I’ve think she got alcohol poisoning.
Am I overreacting and should just ignore it or is my concern justified? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
UxLFNmwuXyNnHFzsgFnmjgLyApb1ldpr | at82no | {
"description": "fishing for compliments online when my boyfriend is busy",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for fishing for compliments online when my boyfriend is busy? | Let me clear the air: IM NOT CHEATING OR THINKING OF CHEATING.
So, I love my boyfriend, he’s the best but sometimes he doesn’t compliment me at all. I have low self-esteem and am very insecure, I don’t need constant compliments but whenever we see each other and he doesn’t say “you look pretty” or something like that I get insecure that I look ugly and start getting anxious and its just not fun.
I’m working on these issues. However, they’re still there. So before we got out or afterwards, or whenever I’m feeling low, I send a selfie to this online discord group and people compliment me there, be it in the public chat or DMs. It makes me feel really good about myself temporarily. However, idk if this is something that is bad?
TL; DR: I look for compliments on discord when I’m insecure even though I have a boyfriend, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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oXPv8z9ldB0wMiUfGBbDaaCNfLW76ydu | astcwa | {
"description": "getting mad at my boyfriend for waking me up",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for waking me up? | So my boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and living with each other for about 1.5 years. We both work full time and do a bunch of extra curricular activities together. I love him to pieces and we have gotten along pretty well.
So to start off, I have always been a night owl. I just don't function well in the morning and prefer to stay up late. Before I used to have to take sleeping aids or smoke some weed to help me sleep early if I needed to work or go to school early the next day. Recently I got a promotion at my work that gives me a flexible schedule where I can work mostly at home. So I usually work later in the day since that's when I am most active. So now my sleep schedule is 4am-12pm. I've been much happier with this schedule and have been avoiding sleeping aids because of it.
Now that info is out of the way, my boyfriend is has been doing these annoying things to get me to wake up earlier (like 9-10am when I went to bed at 4am). He'll tickle me, put his cold hands on my body, throw the dogs on my bed, whatever little annoyances he can do to wake me up. I've been kind of brushing it under the rug until today. I told him if I did the same to him he wouldn't appreciate it, so I don't know why he things it's okay to do it to me. His reasoning is that I don't have a healthy sleep schedule and it's out of concern for my well being. I asked his what a healthy sleep schedule is, and he responded "sleeping when the sun goes down and waking up when the sun comes up". I then told him that I would have to see some research on that, because different people can have different sleep schedules and can still be healthy as long as they are sleeping the right amount of hours. Then he got kind of offended and said that he won't offer any critique of me anymore. Now he's not talking to me. Idk if I am being an asshole here, but I feel like I am justified in confronting him about it.
Side note: I still get up early (7am) to let out our dogs and feed them so he can sleep. I didn't bring that up to him. | HISTORICAL | {
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J0IYm1ofFpTbXfqs8E3mNE5gxNXvyBSx | ax23qv | {
"description": "taking my friends names off our \"group\" project",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | WIBTA for taking my friends names off our "group" project | My group of 3 friends and I got assigned a group project for our AP biology class. We worked on it a bit in class on Friday and I was the only one doing anything. It wasn't a hard project, just a table, a chart, and a few questions.
I finished the table and asked the others if they could do the chart over the weekend, because I had done my share and was busy over the weekend. They all claimed they had plans, and they couldn't do it. So I took it home in order to save my grade. At this point I've finished it, but they didn't help at all and I'm not sure if I should keep their names on the paper.
so WIBTA if I took their names off? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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BKpM14EkoUhCiFM6wHYyj7NZogLxqRc7 | abpgbg | {
"description": "only helping servers who tip me out",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA if I only help servers who tip me out? | So I've been hosting at a restaurant on the weekends. It's only been for a few months and started as a favor, but I do more than just host. Hosting isn't very demanding so I have downtime, and during that time I like to help out by busing tables or helping the servers with what is supposed to be their job in a variety of ways. Some days I help a lot more than others depending on how busy it is or my mood. But really, i'm not expected to do anything but host.
In time, one server has tipped me out several times on those nights I was helping a lot. The other servers have not (only 3 servers total) ever tipped me. Part of me feels bad, because maybe they would rather me not help because they'd just want to do all of the work themselves without feeling guilty or obligated to tip me out. So, should I just stop helping? Would I be an asshole to only help the one server who tips me out while not really bothering to help the others who never have? | HISTORICAL | {
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"NOBODY": 1,
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
V89Q64UIcZFrLQgbDf03B6Vh9bcrKOZH | ar2fhn | {
"description": "being cold towards my dad",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being cold towards my dad? | I'm M18 and moved in with my dad and stepmom back in November. This is going to need a bit of background though I think before I start.
My dad has always been a drug user, from very heavy stuff back in the day to now only weed and alcohol. He's aggressive and abusive but also caring. Very narcissistic and outright stupid sometimes, but also smart and logical other times. He's very unpredictable but he's always been kind to me. My mom's side of the family, who I've spent most of my life with, all dislike him greatly. I've always defended him as much as I can, but I definitely understand and agree with them, to a degree.
Like I said above, my dad is unpredictable. An accurate metaphor would be a sparkplug. Since November, he's gotten progressively worse and worse, consistently yelling at my stepmom and myself for the dumbest things, like not putting enough creamer in his coffee or no mustard on a sandwich. This is seriously the things he gets so mad about, he has to leave for several hours and come back that night and "apologize". My stepmom and I discuss him frequently when he's gone and we have no idea what to do. He doesn't have a job, except from Uber-ing occasionally, and my stepmom works 40+ hour weeks at a restaurant to support us. I help out as much as I can with my financial aid, mostly by paying certain bills or just taking care of myself and taking that burden off of them.
My dad is still kind to me, but it feels a bit backhanded. He bought me an expensive game (AC Odyssey Gold Edition) for Christmas, which is awesome, and he buys the food I like and treats me with respect, but he also kicked in my door because I was struggling with my counselors to get a schedule at college. He fixed it afterwards and apologized, and we talked about it all. The next morning though, he barges in my room at 7 in the morning and yells at me for the exact same thing, despite having an understanding the previous day!
Recently I've just stayed in my room and kept it locked. I go out and get food when he leaves, and I talk very minimally to him. I feel like I can't do anything in this house without getting yelled at or even potentially hit. I always hear him yelling through the walls. He gets mad I don't talk to him and spend time with him, but what am I supposed to do? As a result I barely eat and sleep and live in constant anxiety about what he's gonna do next.
Am I the asshole Reddit? I don't know at this point. I feel justified in not giving him the satisfaction of being a dick and still getting what he wants (time with me). But I also feel really awful because he does a lot for me and doesn't ask much in return (unless he's being a massive prick). So please, let me know.
I had to reformat this post, so some details might be missing. I don't really have any other place to go, or if I do move, I wouldn't have the privacy and freedoms I do here (like having to sleep on a couch). | HISTORICAL | {
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OAwX2vKjRwDiUpVJfDSULdH78aDPk2t5 | b264yv | {
"description": "getting pissed off at my grandma for giving my dog chocolate",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting pissed off at my grandma for giving my dog chocolate? | She feeds my dog chocolate. Way too often. My dog is just a tiny, 12 lb chihuahua. He’s been given half of a thin mint, multiple bites of chocolate candy bars, and just today, a large piece of a chocolate donut. That’s what prompted me to post this.
I tell her all of the time that she really needs to stop and that it’s not a joke. And yet, she always just laughs in my face and acts like it’s some funny little joke.
I don’t know what to do about this. She’s 74, but she should understand that it’s not okay. It’s not funny. She really needs to stop.
I feel bad for getting mad but can I really be blamed? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
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} | RIGHT |
MWzj3RL9RogCM72gGCNvSlrbGCJc7skJ | alfuio | {
"description": "wanting to go to art School",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For Wanting To Go To Art School |
This is my first post so don't attack me
\-----------------------------------------------------------
So, I have a girlfriend and we have been thinking about which high school to go to lately.
Both of us like art and drawing, I want to do it as work while she wants to keep it as a hobby.
I really want to go to either art high school but if that doesn't work out, software engineering.
My girlfriend on the other hand, is pressuring me to go to an engineering high school, even though I have explained to her many times before that I want to do art and coding is just a hobby for me.
She wants to go to the same high school so we can spend time together, even though she even knows how anxious I am even with her.
Am I the asshole? I am probably thinking of myself too much.
But what do you think? Please comment down below! | HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
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} | RIGHT |
XFSfTSg3QrUkzwrvgpN8pWjKD5GqM3I8 | b22x3u | null | AITA In This Interaction | Read down in the thread I link. The comments are between me and the guy I linked too. Is there something I'm missing? If I'm so blind as to what decency and good behavior is then I'd really like to know so that I can change.
http://reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/b22lgp/never_going_to_get_married/eiptt5z | HISTORICAL | {
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AvZsFt6jpW3F3lSKrrINu7ydpa42RsXN | 9wr71o | {
"description": "not doing all of my wife's online class work",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not doing all of my wife’s online class work? | I love my wife. She is fun, caring, and does a lot more for me than I do for her. That being said, she is currently enrolled in an online graduate program. The course work is not too difficult for me, who in general has an easier time in school than her. My wife uses that fact to say things like “if you would just do the assignment it would take you ten minutes, for me it would take an hour! So please just do it.” When I respond with things like “would love to help you if you’d try but you are putting no effort into it and I feel like you are taking advantage of me.” She will respond that she often does things that are not just her responsibility like go grocery shopping cooking etc. and that it doesn’t matter whose responsibility it technically is. I have very long days and my own graduate program I am doing. I leave at 630am and get home at 730pm which just shows how annoying extra work would be but also shows how she is dealing with our son much more than I am. Should I just do the work for her even if I think she’s perfectly capable and just taking advantage of me? Am I the asshole for not doing something that is easier for me than her?
Thanks | HISTORICAL | {
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aEdCHnwTCHETLZNum0LrcSy064I13b98 | b09nfq | {
"description": "asking my neighbours to can it",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I asked my neighbours to can it? | Hey y'all,
​
​
Long time sub lurker here.
TL;DR at the bottom.
I need advice on the level of douchebaggery I would display if I asked my neighbours to stop singing.
For context:
\- the singing is loud enough to be heard with TV on, but not so loud that is heard over headphones.
\- our building laws say ppl can make noise within certain hours, so they're not in breach (drats!)
\- there are I think at least 2 who are constantly belting to their heart's content.
\- hits include: that one part from Beyonce's "Halo" where she repeats higher and higher, Adele and some George Michael? (I mean I like the songs..though not their rendition)
\- I think they might be rehearsing because they're only repeating pieces of the song (over and over) with no backup other than the voice.
\- Last but not least, most of the times it sounds plain bad. It's like I am forced to be a part of someone's shower concert.
Why would I stifle people's creativity? I work from home and have exams coming up. I want to not have to have headphones all the time, in my own home.
WIBTA if I wrote them a nice letter to suggest soundproofing, or working around each other's hours? I feel like I'm one "Hello" away from stomping up there like Mr. Heckles!
Thanks for the read!
TL;DR: Neighbours sing poorly day in day out. WIBTA to ask them to pipe it down? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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GKLuqLDFJJ88lIzBWKxBZ8QXo4R2Yc4a | a9z24k | {
"description": "wanting to break up with my bf",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to break up with my bf? | I’m sick of never having sex, but he can jerk off to porn. I’m sick of him never helping around the house. And I’m fucking sick of every time he walks behind me he tries to stick his finger in my butthole! And every time I’m like leave my asshole alone. But he never listens! Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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gqwSOU8pZXt20tzDjHB8MNHUzxcJbnrc | ax7znv | {
"description": "cutting someone out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for cutting someone out of my life? | About a year ago, I met a woman at a party and we hit it off. In fact, we slept together on the night we met. In the course of this, I discovered that she was significantly younger than me (she's 19, I'm 35).
Some time after we met, she reached out to me on social media, wanted to meet again in a more dating context. I was reluctant for two reasons: first, I was fairly sure she had a boyfriend by then and, two, I wasn't entirely comfortable with our age difference. She assured me that she didn't have a boyfriend and, over time and a number of conversations, I came to believe that our age difference wouldn't be an issue.
Finally, I agreed to meet, and offered a time and place. She declined, so I offered another time and place. We went back forth like that for a bit until she finally simply ghosted me. I felt a bit like a dumbass, and was a bit butthurt, but I dismissed it and moved on.
A little bit later, I saw some posts on social media from her that made it clear that she *did* have a boyfriend, and had at the time we were talking about getting together. I considered the whole thing a bullet dodged.
Recently, in the last month or two, she's been posting on social media again, but now she's describing her recovery from drugs (which is news to me, I didn't even realize she was an addict.) She's also talking about how lonely she is, how sorry she is that she burned so many bridges, and how she wishes some of her friends would be willing to re-connect now that she's clean.
This woman sounds like ten pounds of trouble in a five-pound bag, and I really don't want to get dragged into any of it. But a good friend of mine (whose advice I typically trust) said that I was being too mean and that I should reach out to her and at least be friends.
So, am I the asshole for not wanting to get involved with this woman and all of her drama?
TL:DR A woman lied to me about having a boyfriend, convinced me to date her, then ghosted me. Later, she claims to be getting clean from drugs and wants to rekindle the relationship at some level. I want nothing to do with her. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 29,
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xb2wzE20yvOgMOyFlibYFFwhTV0x8hYq | a5wc4s | {
"description": "hating my sister",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for hating my sister? | I(21m) have lost all respect for my sister (26).
It started when she moved down to Columbus to attend CCAD for animation and failed her first semester.... and then decided she needed to introduce more stress into her life by buying a dog. A large, expensive, high-maintenance dog, an Afghan hound, saying she “needs” a dog.
The next part comes when I’m in Columbus on a visit to a medical center to have a speech issue addressed. My mom decided we should stop by my sister’s apartment, and when we arrive, the place is disgusting. Not only is there trash *everywhere*, there’s two birds in one cage, neither of which are even hers, there are particulates floating in the air. I know this sounds like an exaggeration, but I am 100% serious about this.
Next, a few months later i find out she’s short on rent. *Again.* And my mom has to pay for it.
Fast forward a couple more months, she’s almost evicted for not paying rent, and my mom can’t afford to pay it, so she has to start asking members of our extended family to give her money so she can pay it.
Some other time along the way, I was forced by our mother to give my sister about $200 from *my* financial aid money that *I* need for *my* schooling to her.
And then around Thanksgiving she visited, and I hear her speaking with our father about how she constantly stress-spends her money.
Oh, and this one’s a little petty: She calls me a weeaboo for liking anime while she’s simultaneously obsessed with Korean drama, K-Pop, going so far as to teach her dog tricks in Korean rather than English.
I just try to avoid her whenever she’s home for holidays because I can’t stand her way of life, but my dad thinks I’m too harsh.
TLDR: I hate my sister because she:
-bought an expensive dog while on a tight college student budget (Afghan hound)
-lived in squalor(She’s moved now, but I can’t imagine her new place is any better)
-has 0 financial sense, wastes money and then leeches off of other people in the family
-convinced our mother to force me to give her my financial aid money
-hounds me about an interest of mine while being unhealthily obsessed with Korea herself
Am I the asshole for feeling this way towards her? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
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} | RIGHT |
umjwnQzLo1rGf70NQ6b1hIFEpl9lxPqV | b8lf1f | {
"description": "not letting my friend know our class was coming up",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not letting my friend know our class was coming up? | So context:
A buddy and I were sitting in a study hall waiting for the bell to ring, mindlessly doing work and occasional chit chat here and there. After mulling over some work the bell rings, and I see him continuing to do his work with his earbuds in. I think to myself that 1) he probably still heard it because I’ve had earbuds in before and have heard the bell and 2) if he is aware I don’t want to annoy him while he is doing some last-minute work.
20 minutes later he shows up to class and our teacher is a stickler for tardiness and so he was sent to the dean to get a note and hence a detention (were in highschool). He talked to me later and was pissed because he thought I should’ve alerted him when I didn’t know I needed to... | HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
PgjqfpEYtJINQfBQaS70svu24qnP31Sm | agoubs | {
"description": "turning of the home internet off during the day on a 21 year old daughter who refuses to work",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA - For turning of the home internet off during the day on a 21 year old daughter who refuses to work? | I am trying to figure out a way to get my daughter to work, she is 21. She worked a Halloween store for the past 2 years and this year she worked target also. She just was no longer assigned at target and stopped calling or asking for hours. its only been 3 weeks, but all she does is lay in bed and watch her phone. She also acts like a teenager and refuses to talk, and seem irritated that we the home owners even ask her a question. No she never worked in high-school, didn't got to college. This is becoming an issue between me and my wife lately, because I try to do shit like this, and the wife thinks it just makes her dig in her heels. I feel she needs to earn, and she doesn't need much, but keeps stealing the wife's body wash.
​
Help Me or Chastise Me? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
2vBXzd9SY4vHiZWdHyiEj8BM88bwO6oQ | b7pocf | {
"description": "wanting to meet with my friends without my GF when back for a month being in a long distance relationship",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to meet with my friends without my GF when back for a month being in a long distance relationship | Hi guys, it's my first post here and I'm really curious if AITA. Just before you read, I checked the relationship posts post and believe this is unique enough to post it.
Background: I (21) live in Britain and migrated from Poland for University. I have been with my GF (20, Polish) for 2 years now and for 1y9m we've been an LDR, during this time we have seen eachother more or less every 1.5-2 months for around a week or two and once she came over for summer for 3months. The relationship is great and we have really good contact being eachothers best friends as well, we talk a lot on the phone and it is as good as possible. Both of us treat this really seriously and are looking forward to the future.
When back in Poland where a lot of my friends and family are, I never had more than a few days so whenever I met with my friends my GF hanged out with us as well, but the last meeting was really bad and we got into a massive fight because she wanted to go home really early and just acted plain bad. Which is why I said I want to meet my friends without her just so I can chill and not listen to her moaning about every part of the night (not the words I used) this is where I am wondering as she is saying ATA for not wanting to spend time with her, and wanting to see my friends without her, but from my point of view I have every right in the world to see my friends with whom I haven't met without my gf since 2 years without her. So IATA for this?
It is my first post and I'm not sure if there is enough detail, I'll answer any questions in comments guys. | HISTORICAL | {
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ejq6LWuChuZ2vilUGQbztMO3rxem4iz4 | aatqsf | {
"description": "wanting a different table",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for wanting a different table? | Backstory: My family moved from Alaska to the lower 48. We sold our house for a huge loss and planned to rent until we could reestablish our savings and financially swing the big move. My husbands family, however, was pressuring us to move sooner than later. So much so, that they offered to help us get set up. We moved, with basically what fit in the back of our SUV and they did help us get oriented. For that we were grateful.
Around this time my SIL got a brand new dining set and showed up at our apartment with her old set. Again, we were grateful, but it wasn’t something we needed or asked for. It wasn’t even something we were asked if we wanted. This was 6 months ago, and we have been making due with the table. However, this large round table, does not fit functionality in the dining area of the apartment. The chairs are tearing up the wall because it’s just too big for the space.
Fast forward to today, I listed the table on FB marketplace for $100 or an equitable trade that would work for the space we have. If the table sold, the intention was to purchase a different table on the marketplace that would be better suited for the apartment. Well SIL saw the post and essentially lost her shit, and then had MIL texting me about how awful I am and how selling the table is terrible. She is apparently going to show up in the morning to repossess said table.
Here are my thoughts:
1. The table was gifted and is ours to do with as we wish.
2. It’s not a family heirloom or really anything special it’s just a table.
3. We are not trying to turn a profit from the gift, only get another used item that will work more functionality in the space.
So reddit am I the asshole for wanting to sell or trade this table? Or should I have asked for permission? | HISTORICAL | {
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KXEro1yIGzP4N7mA4jHclRXpDAUL1h4I | 9z4f5q | {
"description": "getting defensive about my weight",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting defensive about my weight? | Was in a big discussion about a video game, one thing lead to another, (as they do) and I expressed how I loved that one of the characters is overweight, being a plus sized person myself. Another participant asked somewhat bluntly why I don’t try losing weight.
The question frustrated me, and my response was along the lines of ‘that question is never appropriate, nobody chooses to be fat, everyone has their reasons that losing weight is hard for them and nobody has to please you.”
The person who asked insisted after that it was because they were a personal trainer who could give me tips. I responded not understanding this and apologized, and tried to come down and be more civil with a better understanding of the question, but then the rest of the participants started HOUNDING me about how wrong I was to say what I did, that losing weight should be easy for me and that I’m making excuses. It really made me shut down. I didn’t ask for an intervention, I just wanted to express why a video game character was important to me.
TLDR; I made a point that was vulnerable to express how I feel about a character. Someone asked something I found blunt and prying and I may have overreacted, and I basically got boo’d out of the conversation. | HISTORICAL | {
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"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
XN4tp8b0mxc9pcG2TEYP4UOtiLl30XMf | all26k | {
"description": "being mad at my gf for saying I'd be uncomfortable if two of our friends paid her to make out with her friend",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being mad at my gf for saying I’d be uncomfortable if two of our friends paid her to make out with her friend (a girl)? | A bunch of our friends were at a house party the other day and two people mentioned as a joke they would pay to see her and a friend make out, and then she asked me if I would be ok with it. I told her it would make me uncomfortable and she called me a control freak for saying that. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
BBFDkavN5zl2ZkTdrUXiTBmpq7MpyGvu | b9xur9 | {
"description": "advising one friend to break up with another friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA if I advised one friend to break up with another friend? | This is my first post, so I apologize if I give too much, or not enough, information.
My friend, A, has been one of my dearest friends for several years. We have been close since our freshman year of university. I have a great deal of love towards her, but the way she has been carrying on with another friend of mine, B, upsets me. I have not been friends with B for as long as I have with A, but B is a good guy and I care about him.
A and B have been "dating" for several months now, and it's fairly one-sided. A has stated that she is not physically attracted to him, that she doesn't feel "a spark" around him, etc. But she continues to see him because she feels he's a good guy, and she doesn't want to miss out on that. B, for his part, is extremely invested in A. He has strong feelings for her, but is frustrated because he can't read her and isn't sure if they're always on the same page. They have never defined the relationship between them, and have even only kissed a handful of times.
I can't help but feel like A is leading B on, and that if they continue on like this, B will only get hurt more. I've encouraged both of them to communicate with each other, to no avail. I'm at the point where I want to encourage B to leave A and to find someone who can actually fulfill his wants and needs. But to do so would betray A's trust and hurt her feelings. My other friends say I would be the asshole if I told B to leave A, because A deserves my loyalty (longer friendship) and I have no right to interfere in another relationship, but if I were in B's situation, I would want my friends to tell me. I feel like I'll be the asshole no matter what, but in which scenario would I be the lesser asshole? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
J9QnQmkDKWdZ5Ck0fIyfMAkXFsN2dAJE | avwcuk | {
"description": "turning down my sisters music and taking her earbuds",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for turning down my sisters music and taking her earbuds? | (Sorry on mobile)
So the other day my little sister (11) was asking if I wanted to use her other earbud to listen to a song with her. I put in the earbud and immediately turn the music down since it was wayyyyy too loud (I’m talking more than 3/4 of the way up on an iPhone).
My sister gets mad and turns it back up to where it was so I take out her earbuds and try to explain to her that she shouldn’t listen to her music that loud because it can cause permanent hearing damage.
She tells me she doesn’t care and runs to my dad who tells me that I shouldn’t have taken her earbuds away and that I was being a jerk for doing so. I tried to tell him that I only did that so she would turn her music down because it was too loud and he told me that “she will know if it’s too loud”.
I feel like since she’s only 11 she doesn’t know any better and I don’t want her to loose or have limited heating so AITA for turning it down and taking her earbuds?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
38LfKdjmAbMXWt0Ubbh4vIlCeMTbd5FQ | ah6dcp | {
"description": "getting frustrated with a waitress at my job for constantly singing",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting frustrated with a waitress at my job for constantly singing? | I work at a busy restaurant and I have one waitress who constantly insists on singing every song she hears on the radio. She is a good singer but it becomes very distracting and honestly annoying when my crew is trying to call tickets and she is standing there screaming out song lyrics to every song that comes on the radio. I have explained the situation to her and asked her to please stop but she refuses to. Am I the asshole or should I explain the situation to management and have them handle it. (And to be fair I will throw in that her singing annoys me and not everyone else) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
L3zzwWQjZILB5fueloC9vA5QmnbzFFRn | a9srod | {
"description": "not accepting the wrong food my waiter gave me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not accepting the wrong food my waiter gave me? | The restaurant is fairly small and a bit busy at the time. I ordered my food and when "my" food came out, I told him I didn't order this and asked again for my order. Everyone at my table told me I should just have accepted it. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
8eJFjx3DNjKgYz6WcBMTtMrPaC0TLNe4 | b1fi62 | {
"description": "wanting to meeting a friend for coffee",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting to meeting a friend for coffee? | I really need some perspective here, because this is causing a huge problem in my relationship.
I have a friend that I used to be best friends with in elementary school. About 4 months ago (when I was single) we found each other on Tinder and decided to hang out and catch up. We had a really great conversation for about 3 hours in a public place. Afterwards, he kissed me, and things escalated to another sexual activity - though not outright sex. After that we decided to keep in touch as friends, and haven't spoken since.
Fast forward to today. I'm in a new relationship, and he knows about my sexual history. My friend texted me and told me he'd be coming to my city and asked if I wanted to get coffee. He even expressly said that sexual stuff wasn't necessary (which may sound weird, but we had left the possibility open the last time we talked 4 months ago). I told him I was seeing someone now, so sex stuff was definitely off the table. He was very supportive, but still wanted to meet up because we're friends.
My new partner thinks it's absolutely unacceptable that I would consider meeting up with this friend, and he doesn't see why I would find value in maintaining a relationship with said friend. He says that no girl would consider staying friends with someone who would be open to the possibility of having sex with them. He's basically saying that nobody should ever be friends with people that would fuck them if both parties were consenting. Again, his point is that the only people you should be friends with are people who would never conceivably fuck you under any given circumstances. From my perspective, I really liked connecting with someone from my childhood, and the sexual stuff was more of just an impulsive afterthought that I would never do when I was in a committed relationship. I understand his concern, but I want him to trust that I would not behave unethically, especially since I've been completely open with him and have not tried to hide anything.
Please let me know what you think. AITA here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
3qNSIJEpvvwPZ7aJxJFFgfR2eNBjzPWL | angbc0 | {
"description": "turning down a Drunk girl",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for Turning Down a Drunk Girl? | So first things first, I'm married. So there was no chance at all I ever entertained the idea of talking to someone else, this also isn't a super serious post like all the other relationship ending ones. Ok, on to the story.
This past weekend a friend of mine invited my wife and I to go eat out with him and his wife and another couple, the have drinks at a local bar after dinner.
The night is going amazing until we're at the bar when a big group of girls recognizes my friend and to say hi. He introduces everyone in our group, including our wives and who is married to whom.
One of the girls however decided that she wanted to try her luck I guess, idk? She was fairly intoxicated and kept trying to talk to me, ignoring the fact that my wife was five feet away talking to my friends wife. I was trying to be nice and slowly remove myself from the situation without being rude, but she was being persistent and my patience was wearing out having already emphasized that my wife was right behind us.
Also, I'm 28, this girl was roughly 22-24. Which I seized on when she made her move and asked "do you have a snapchat?" To which I replied, "Isn't that for children?" Nobody else heard it so the embarrassment was strictly between her and I, but it was enough to get her to leave me alone. I didn't think anything of it because I'm likely never going to see her again.
I told my wife about the incident the next day and she laughed about it but said "You didn't have to be mean." I'm not torn up about it, but I love reading comments on this sub, So I figured I'd leave it open to the court of public opinion. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ZZM1jOuLiuV0T7TPv71XbGsq533XhO2w | b8a35o | {
"description": "not being ok with my wife ex lover visiting my place",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for not being ok with my wife ex lover visiting my place. | Story: Wife and SIL grew up with this dude. He was my wifes friend through high school years and same with my SIL. SIL is is one of those female who keeps getting in an out of a relationship (not that I really care). He also used to hook up with my wife before me. I have told her I am not comfortable with her have any sort of relationship with this guy (facebook friends etc). But she says that they are just nothing but friends. I don't get that but I think once you have slept with someone and have then parted ways you can't just go back to being "friends".
So my SIL is now visiting us and this dude want to visit her at my place. Mind you this guy has also slept with my SIL in the past. I am just getting in a real uncomfortable spot with whole situation and how the hell would I deal with it.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
RL7gq7aqBbegP66fJGl9hL11bfKP3dM7 | alt46l | {
"description": "not volunteering",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not volunteering? | Ok, I was recently “shamed” by a coworker for acknowledging the fact that I refuse to volunteer at the rescue mission or food pantries.
Here’s the thing. I have no problem donating money and items to local shelters and charities. I have a portion of my paycheck deducted each month just for that. That being said, I refuse to go to the shelter and help clean, serve/prepare food etc. There’s a whole room of people there receiving help. Am I crazy in thinking that a few of these able bodied people could pitch in and serve the food that was graciously donated to them?
I was asked “How can they serve if they’re eating?” Really? They can’t take turns? I realize bad things happen to good people and I’m happy to help financially when I can. But I don’t think I’m being unreasonable,am I? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
RuwWHzDYCUeaqkJeQJZ9bLc1wAjczZut | agvqhu | {
"description": "cutting all contact with my mother",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cutting all contact with my mother? | Very long. TL;DR at the end.
Backstory, my mom has been a vicious drug addict for her whole life. She started drinking when she was 11, and doing drugs when she was 13.
She moved out when I was 15, about 5 years ago. She had been cheating on my dad with two of our neighbors, and smoking meth. Not only that, but she had been snorting Adderall, and injecting heroin. That was the last straw for our family. We let it go on for FAR too long, seven trips to rehab and all. Me and my siblings were suffering because we had to call the ambulance almost nightly because she would abuse painkillers and blood pressure medication to the point of seizures or near death. Many other terrible things, but I think you get the point.
She was living in a few sober living places, bouncing in and out of sobriety for about 2 years. She was MASSIVELY fat when she didn't do meth. She became addicted to food. Thus, she got gastric bypass, under my father's insurance before it ran out. She then soon lost her job because of a failed drug test. She spiralled. She lived in a car I had given her, and it got stolen. She got another car from a boyfriend, and it got burned down. She now lives in a homeless community. Aka, on the side of the road.
Last time I saw her was June 2018, and she was emaciated. Her face was sunken in, her skin was leathery and blotchy, she had even seemed to shrink In Height. She barely resembled my mom. My mom growing up was always plump and red, fair skin, blonde hair. Now her hair was mostly grey and thinned. Her skin had no color besides sun stress. She used to have super clear blue eyes, and they were this terrible grey/brown. Almost hazed over. It broke my heart.
From that point on, I never wanted to see her again. She wasn't the person that I grew up with. She was a drug addict shell. That's it. I saw her at my sister's wedding in August 2018, and ignored her as much as possible. She made my fucking skin crawl. After that, I never wanted to hear from her. I wanted her to stop existing.
It seemed like all the trauma came back, and I realized I don't have to talk to her. I don't owe her anything. Right?
She reached out to my two siblings recently, for help going to rehab. She didn't reach out to me because I'm not the most kind to her. My siblings asked me for help, and I told them I loved them, but would not help her.
They're very mad at me now. They were asking me to go down and meet with her to "lift her spirits" and stay with her because she misses her kids. I refuse to do that. They have both called me angry, called me crying, and begged me to go. I see no point, and I no longer want to associate with her.
My dad said "it's the kind thing to do" but understands me. He won't see her either. He's done a lot for her, and won't go out of his way for her.
I see it like this: I used to be forced to deal with her manipulation and emotional abuse. She is 57, and has not been sober for more than a year of her life. I don't think she will ever recover. Why subject myself to the pain of seeing her in this condition, if I don't want a relationship with her? I'm supporting my siblings, but I no longer feel responsible for her. AITA?
TL;DR mom has been a drug addict her whole life. She was abusive my whole life. I no longer want anything to do with her, and my siblings are upset because I won't go visit her in rehab. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
PiAOac8WralNrYpWg05LOekwSs6ipsgA | akrfoz | {
"description": "dumping my bf without giving him a chance to explain",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA: I dumped my bf without giving him a chance to explain | So awhile ago I got with a person who came from a poly relationship then got with me and we agreed it was a mono relationships. We shared a discord server we both were on. So I knew there was a hot guy at his school but he reassured me I was better. Then he started posting about the guy from his school in the discord. It went on for like a week where I didn’t tell him anything and just kinda kept my mistrust to myself before I eventually broke up with him out of nowhere and got the respons “oh uhm okay?” There was some drama surrounding it and I left the discord server so my question is am I the asshole | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
CdEOS7pLBECFfE4c24o7FfPaMjqTT3rs | b82sw6 | {
"description": "choosing to see my family over going to a wedding",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for choosing to see my family over going to a wedding? | Some background information; I live about a 13 hour drive from my parents and immediate family. Due to my job, I only get to see them 2-3 times a year and next year I’ll see them even less.
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year, I see her family almost every weekend. Her older sister will be getting married in a couple months, but unfortunately my family will be spending the weekend about five hours away at the same time as the wedding.
Honestly, I would rather go see my family than sit at this wedding. I’m pretty quiet when there’s a bunch of people around and I don’t think I would be missed too much.
WIBTA if I skipped the wedding? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
1ZntzgkPN2uSCZZNhRvzAGnx8xyHGo42 | afneal | {
"description": "taking a break from my relationship of 6 years because of my GF's brother",
"pronormative_score": 28,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for taking a break from my relationship of 6 years because of my GF’s brother | Let me just start out with saying I love my GF, and don’t want our relationship to end. About 4 months ago, I found out my GFs brother (18) was moving in with us, as his mom could no longer deal his poor attitude and hatefulness towards her. I was reasonably upset that I wasn’t consulted first, but I knew my GF was just doing what was best for her family. Since he’s been here, both of us have been emotionally strained by the presence of GF’s brother. All he does is lay in bed and play video games. He has stolen about 80 bucks from each of us, refuses to get a job, even when I set up a decent gig for him at my workplace. He seldom says a word to either of us, and when he does, it’s normally something toxic. Additionally, he doesn’t bathe. I have been keeping track and it’s been over a month since his last bath, and hasn’t brushed his teeth since he’s arrived (I bought him a toothbrush when he first arrived and it’s still unopen). Finally, after GFs brother forcibly kicked my cat, I had enough. I told my GF I had enough and could no longer accommodate her brother living with us. She went to talk to her mom, who guilt tripped my GF to keep GF’s brother living with us, saying if he moves back, she’s going to have to get a divorce. I don’t know what to do, and told my GF that he’s straining our relationship, and don’t know if I can take it anymore, and we may have to take a break until this matter is resolved . So, AITA for taking a break? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 28,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pctMCIarc2FCEFyHmnkbD9WCMhFLvpmK | a9t06d | {
"description": "ghosting my mentally ill mother and grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ghosting my mentally ill mother and grandmother | I’ve lived with my schizophrenic mother until I was 18 when I finally moved out. I used to visit her a few times a year but I gave up on dealing with her when she keeps on asking when I move back in again after I told her repeatedly I wouldn’t come back.
My mother is a special person thanks to her illness that makes her distrust basically anyone and believe in a secret society that keeps her under their thumb. She also gets messages through the Tv by Michael Jackson ( now bill gates) and blames anything that is wrong with her life on a secret society.
My grandmother has the same illness as my mother but used to get treatment for it which doesn’t make her act normal but at least not normal.
I’ve been receiving calls by both which I ignore. I get voicemails which range from deranged to insane to guilt inducing.
My other relatives basically ignore or try to have as less contact as possible still my grandfather asked me to call my poor mother.
I’m struggling with the whole situation as well as her whole life was centered around her psycho bullshit. She’s been in a mental institution multiple times and evades any help and I’ve given up on trying for her as it can’t be burdened on myself. I’m 24 and I have to build up m y on life. I’m chronically ill as well.
Yes she raised me and she may did it as best as she could in her mental state ( and that best is not good) but imo family is a privilige and not a given and I have to get my stuff in order. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
sW29tLyDzsmvFxQdWRSy1lcjkzb6GLdR | b3yxla | {
"description": "changing my roommates computer background when she leaves her laptop open",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for changing my roommates computer background when she leaves her laptop open? | I'm writing this on mobile, so apologies for any wonky formatting!
I'm a college student and I live with three other amazing girls, including one girl who's been my best friend since we were 12. We're all really close, more like sisters than friends.
My best friend has a bad habit of leaving her laptop open and running while she's away, and while this mostly happens in our dorm room, she's been known to do this around campus. I have repeatedly warned her that this isn't safe, as not everyone is trustworthy and people might see an open, unlocked laptop as free real estate, and claim it as their own. She rolls her eyes and says that she only leaves it open in our room, but I know that's not always the case as I have come across the laptop on occasion while my friend is no where in sight.
So, I've taken to trying to teach her a lesson. Whenever she leaves her laptop open and running while shes away for atleast an hour, I change her background. Usually it's either pictures of feet (she finds all feet revolting, and therefore hates Quentin Tarantino films), or various pictures of our lord and savior, Shrek. She's been leaving her laptop open less and less and since I started doing it, I've only come across her open unlocked laptop once in the wild of our college campus.
It's been a few months since the last incident, but about 30 minutes ago she scampered off to an hour long meeting and left her laptop open, unlocked, paused on a Backstreet Boys video. I could not resist temptation, and her background picture is now a picture of Barry B. Benson from the critically acclaimed Jerry Seinfeld movie "The Bee Movie."
So Reddit, I ask you, am I the asshole for changing my friends laptop background despite how much it annoys her? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
9fxkZhP1t3Yi7fb34PGamb9wV2fuGEns | a0o1yi | {
"description": "not wanting to do a bunch of errands for my family the last week before I move",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to do a bunch of errands for my family the last week before I move? | So here's the situation, I am moving across the country this weekend. I'm currently finishing up packing, donating old things to goodwill, getting organized, so all I have to do is load my moving truck up and leave. I'm hustling to get it all finished. Now in this last week two family members suddenly have all these things they want done before I leave! Putting together furniture, getting my moving truck earlier so they can use it to pick stuff up from a department store, and clearing out one of their basements. I pretty much flat out refused to do any of it. It got brought up at Thanksgiving and I got made out to look like the bad guy! It's a pet peeve of mine in the first place when people try and tack things onto my plans (hey since you're going that way, would you mind going by here since it's nearby etc). I need to get all my stuff done on time, quit adding shit for me to do for you "before I go"! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
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